#like their sleep patterns are similar to ours!

[empyrealoasis]

˖ ִ𐙚 Holotropic Breathwork + Hypnagogic Hallucinations 𝜗࣪˖

HOLOTROPIC BREATHWORK

"Holotropic Breathwork is a therapeutic breathing technique that uses rapid, controlled breathing and music to create an altered state of consciousness."

The process bypasses your analytical mind and taps into the subconscious, often bringing up suppressed emotions, vivid imagery, or even spiritual insights. It’s often used for self-discovery, emotional healing, and connecting more deeply with your inner self.

HYPNAGOGIC + HYPNOPOMPIC HALLUCINATIONS

Hypnagogia and Hypnopompia are transitional states of consciousness that occur during the process of falling asleep and waking up, respectively.

Hypnagogia is experienced as you are falling asleep. It often happens when you’re extremely tired or sleep-deprived, such as after staying up late or napping during the day. In this state, you may not fully fall asleep but instead enter a semi-conscious phase. During hypnagogia, people can feel as though they’re “dreaming while awake.”

Hypnopompia, on the other hand, happens as you are waking up. You might not fully regain consciousness and instead linger in a dream-like state. In this phase, you may feel as though you are simultaneously awake and dreaming, struggling to differentiate between the two. Similarly, people can feel as though they're "awake while dreaming."

These may involve visual, auditory, or tactile hallucinations, and sometimes even a sensation similar to sleep paralysis. Both phenomena occur because the brain is transitioning between wakefulness and sleep, creating a blend of conscious awareness and dream-like perceptions. While they can feel disorienting, these experiences are a natural part of how our brain processes the sleep cycle.

Routine combining both methods:

Step 1: Get Comfortable

Lie down (preferably) in a quiet, dimly lit space where you won’t be disturbed.

Close your eyes and relax your body.

Step 2: Breathwork to Relax (2-5 minutes)

Breathe in deeply through your nose for 2 seconds.

Exhale out through your mouth with a gentle "ha" sound.

Repeat this rhythm, focusing on how your body feels lighter and more relaxed with each breath.

Step 3: Focus on the Darkness

Let your breathing return to normal.

Shift your attention to the darkness behind your eyelids.

If you see shapes, colors, or feel sensations, let them happen naturally.

Step 4: Affirm and Intend

Silently or softly affirm your intention:

“I am pure consciousness.”

“I am shifting now.”

Stay calm and trust the process as you drift deeper into the void or shifting state.

Step 5: Let Go

Allow yourself to fully relax, knowing that you’re transitioning.

If you feel close to the void or shifting, focus on staying calm and open.

Holotropic Breathing Posts:

Hypnagogic + Hypnopompic Hallucinations Posts:

[yukinohiko]

A Deal with a Dragon | Zhongli

✧ A/N: I quite enjoyed writing this and, with its premise, might expand on it in the future. Consequences of our actions, and all.

✧ Synopsis: Upon watching a stranger navigate Liyue Harbour, you start to theorize about their true identity. In this case, you believe the funeral parlour consultant is the Archon of Liyue, believed to be dead. The only course of action is to confront them, don’t you think? But sleeping dragons should never be woken.

You have a theory. It's not well-founded or even likely to be believed by the citizens of Liyue. Sharing such an idea would have a better chance resulting in your ostracization or even arrest for spreading sacrilegious delusions.

However, you are certain: the man who works at the funeral parlour is the former Archon of Liyue.

It took you a while to come to this conclusion. You had seen him around the port city, walking the streets and engaging the stall-keepers in idle conversation, often to the detriment of their business; eating at Liuli Pavilion, paying with another man's mora; gazing out toward the mountains, as though looking beyond this world somehow.

His speech patterns were strange, as well. More formal than the typical citizen, rich and cultured, his words eloquent as he spoke of even the most trifling things. His suspiciously astute knowledge of history; however, was the final nail in the coffin.

Because why else would a random man know the exact temperature that Morax took his mulled wine, the exact ratio of osmanthus flavouring he preferred, or the exact crag of the mountain he enjoyed drinking atop of?

"I know what you are," you say one day, making what you will later learn was a grave lapse in judgement.

Zhongli sits before you in his funeral parlour's office, raising an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?" he says calmly.

"I know," you say slowly, pronouncing each word, "what you are. Or who, I should say. I've figured you out."

For a moment, Zhongli only gazes at you. He looks neither surprised nor unsurprised by your words. "And what exactly is that, might I ask?"

"You're —" You hesitate. Speaking the words aloud seems taboo, even in this private space. "You're him. Morax."

"Am I." He sounds indulgent, like someone much older humouring the grand declarations of a child at their feet.

"I know you are," you insist. "It just makes sense. I've had an eye on you for a while now, so don't try and make me out as a fool. You're Rex Lapis. You're Morax. You're Liyue's Archon!"

Zhongli exhales a low breath. If you looked closer, you might have seen the glint of something sharper than teeth under his lip. "And have you shared this theory with anyone?"

"Well, no —"

"No? You haven't gone to inform the Millelith of your suspicions that their Archon remains in their midst? You haven't sent letters to share your concerns with the Liyue Qixing?"

Despite the fact that he's essentially feeding you ideas to give his identity away, he looks unbothered. He watches you serenely across the table, eyes amber in the dusky sunlight pouring in from the window.

At your silence, he leans forward.

"Tell me, then," he says, almost gently, "what did you hope to gain from this confrontation? Though, I doubt I can call it something so hostile. You seem uncertain as to your own next steps in this matter."

It’s true. To be frank, you hadn’t really expected him to entertain your conversation this long. You had expected denial if not outright labelling your theory blasphemous. But his tranquil manner of coaxing further answers out of you is strangely unsettling.

Something similar to the feeling of encroaching upon a pit viper’s den. What was the old phrase? Never wake a sleeping dragon?

“Why did you abandon your people?” you ask, voice wavering despite yourself.

“I have not abandoned anyone.” He gazes upon you evenly. “I am a man of Liyue, and here I remain, do I not?��

“But — you’re not acting like you should be — a God — they deserve to know! We had funeral rites and everything, for someone still alive!”

He raises his cup and drinks. Never moving his eyes from you. It is a peculiar sensation. When he lowers the cup, you see the wine-dark colouring of his mouth, so alike something less innocent.

The back of your neck prickles forebodingly, though you cannot see or hear anything amiss. Despite the lack of evidence, you trust your instinct and attempt to back out of the situation.

"Forgive my intrusion. I'm sorry if it came across like an accusation. I'll leave you be —"

You manage to turn, before he speaks out from behind you.

"I can forgive the transgression," he says silkily, "of speaking out of turn. My most prosperous citizens have always been the most brazen across history, I've found."

You stiffen at his words. At his implicit confession to your accusation. You glance back over your shoulder, quivering slightly. "You mean, you really are —?"

"Morax, former Archon of Liyue." He smiles, and it's less kind than before. Two salivating fangs bare at you. "As to what I was saying, while I can forgive your boldness, I cannot forgive the threat you've implanted of revealing my identity to those I've decided to conceal my presence from. You see, I took great pains to remove my influence from the nation, and it would not do to allow you to counter my efforts."

"I won't," you say quickly, taking a step back. Your nape is stinging anxiously. "I can promise you that I won't tell anyone."

"No? But I'm afraid I let slip potential methods for you to do so. The Millelith, the Liyue Qixing. All viable options, and you could select any one."

"I won't! I really won't —”

“And, as you so keenly declared, you feel my people deserve to know I linger in their lives. That is as blatant a threat as I can take it.”

He stands slowly, and you wonder if it's a trick of the light, or if he's taller than before. Larger. His silken dark hair, burnt umber, sweeps the floor as he circles the table toward you. Smoke exhales from his mouth. Draconic.

Without pausing to wait, to give another inch, you turn tail and attempt to flee. Terror pulses within you. The parlour seems like a labyrinth suddenly, every door leading to another room rather than an exit back out to Liyue's crowded streets. Just as you finally reach the front lobby; however, a massive block of golden stone erupts from the ground, shattering the tiled floors, rising to barricade the door.

You skid to a stop and stare in dismay. Behind you, shoes click and a soft sound, almost serpent-like, breathes by your ear, "Let's make a contract, shall we, little one?"

[thevoidstaredback]

How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have

It had been a long few minutes since he'd opened the door and there were a lot of questions running through Dick's head. Most pressing of which was how this kid seems to have information he should not have.

"How did you..?" he asked, but the words wouldn't leave completely. There's so much he wants to know, so much he wants to ask.

"How do I what?" Danny tilted his head like the child he seems to be is.

"How do you know?" Dick knows he sounds weak. There's no hiding that, but there are a lot of implications in what the kid has said so far and none of it is painting a very happy picture for him.

"Oh!" Danny had the audacity to smile, "You want to know how I know you moonlight as a vigilante!" And of course he knows. Dick knows he knows, but he'd held a little bit of hope that the child Danny was mistaken. Danny's smile softened a bit as he explained, "Your hair and voice match up in both jobs almost perfectly. Not to mention your build and how you hold yourself. There's also the matter of your overall vibes, but that's not something living beings can normally pick up on." Excuse him? "Well, not living humans, at least, so no worries on that end!"

"Excuse me?" Dick was fairly sure his heart just stopped beating for a moment there.

"Anyway, I was a hero back home for a while, too. I know what it's like to have to walk the tightrope between maintaining a civilian cover and a hero persona. I know how it feels to have to keep secrets from everyone because anyone who knows will be in danger." he rambled, Though, admittedly, our circumstances are quite different. I was working as a hero all hours of the day as well as going to school. You only have to worry about properly balancing between day and night jobs. Either way, me having more to bounce between just makes me al the more qualified to help you!"

Oh. Oh he did not like that. He didn't like a single thing that just came out of the kid's mouth. Because that's what he is, a kid. "Are you...Are you alright?"

"Not in the slightest," Danny admitted with an even smaller smile. Then, it brightened, not quite to a grin, but to something similar, "But I'm here to make sure you are."

He gets points for being honest, but Dick felt his heart shatter. He knew for a fact that he'd never worked with this kid before. He also knew that the Justice League didn't know about him. If they did, he would've been picked up and dropped with either the Young Justice team or the Titans.

Dick wasn't going to ask why he became a hero because that's not his place. It's more of a 'third mission with the team' kind of questions, anyway. Most of the heroes didn't have many options when they took up the mantle. Asking what Danny can do is a more appropriate question, but he wasn't going to ask that, either.

"Now that that's out of the way," Danny turned a few pages from the table of contents to another one that was topped with 'Why Sleep Scheduling Is Important' in the blue glitter pen that Dick was starting to suspect he favored. "You're not getting enough sleep. Following you around - no one's been able to find me for a while, so don't worry about that - for the last two weeks has given me some really worrisome information on you."

Dick was worrying. He was worrying a lot and even more questions were coming to the forefront of his mind.

"Your dayjob is as an officer on the Bludhaven Police Force, or BPD for short." He was looking over the page he'd turned to very aptly and Dick realized that the kid had notes written on him. "The average hours per week for police across the country is forty hours. Gotham and Bludhaven are the exceptions. As a member of the BPD, you work a solid two days and two hours. Six nights a week, you work as Nightwing from eight in the evening to three in the morning. The last day, you take off, which is good. No deserable pattern, so good on you for that. Regardless, that's seven hour nights and ten hour days, with one day off and one day on call as an officer. Seven hours are now left in your day for personal time, eating, and sleeping. That's not a healthy way to live."

Oh, god, the kid had honest to god notes on him! What the hell!

Danny didn't even skip a beat as he pulled Dick's attention back to him and his binder. "I've drawn up a schedule for you to follow." The back of the page had a meticulously drawn schedule, complete with blocks of time to eat, sleep, work both jobs, travel, personal time, and still have a bit extra left over. It was titled 'Ideal End Result' in green marker. "Drastic changes right away will only affect you negatively, so we're starting off smaller." The next page over had another schedule titled 'Where To Begin'. "I've only pulled one hour from your Nightwing hours because I know important that time is to you and the city. I am, however, going to be having you submit an appeal to your boss to cut back your hours from fifty a week to forty a week. That way, you'll only be working eight hours a day and not ten. You'll still be on call for one day, and you'll have that last day off. Altogether, you'll be going be going from working seventeen hours a day to fourteen hours a day. Nine in the morning to five in the afternoon, and eight in the evening to two in the morning. Not including breaks at work or travel time. It opens up a few more hours for you to sleep!"

"You really think the chief is going to pull back my hours?" Dick raised an eyebrow in question.

"He will if he knows what's good for him."

"You know I can arrest you for that threat, right?"

"Yeah, but you won't." And, damn it, he's right.

Although, there was now another thing he had to know. "How to you plan on enforcing this schedule of yours?"

Danny seemed to have been waiting for this. He got a gleam in his eye as he pulled a black folder from his bag, not breaking eye contact with Dick. He placed it on the table and pushed it across. "Congratulations, it's a boy."

Part 1 Part 3

[fairuzfan]

Palestinian men detained by Israeli forces since the start of the war in Gaza have told Middle East Eye how they were physically tortured with dogs and electricity, subjected to mock executions, and held in humiliating and degrading conditions.

In testimonies to MEE, one man, who was taken by Israeli forces from a school in Gaza where he had sought refuge with his family, described how he had been handcuffed, blindfolded, and detained in a metal cage for 42 days.

During interrogations, he said he had been given electric shocks, as well as scratched and bitten by army dogs.

Other men also described being electrocuted, attacked by dogs, doused with cold water, denied food and water, deprived of sleep, and subjected to constant loud music.

“They did not spare anyone. There were 14-year-old boys and 80-year-old men,” said one of the men, Moaz Muhammad Khamis Miqdad, who was taken prisoner in Gaza City in December and held for more than 30 days.

As well as three men taken prisoner in Gaza, MEE spoke to a man detained in a raid in the West Bank city of Qalqilya who said he had been blindfolded, stripped naked, and hung by his arms during interrogations in which he was repeatedly beaten and burnt with cigarettes.

He also described being held for days in freezing conditions in which he was not allowed to sleep and of a soldier urinating in a bottle and handing it to him after he had requested water.

All four men described being forced to strip naked and being constantly beaten and abused by Israeli soldiers during their weeks-long detentions.

MEE has also spoken to a number of other former detainees who also described similar experiences to those of the men in this story.

[....]

Eventually, they were dropped at an unknown location. Five soldiers came into the room where they were being held and continued beating them.

This pattern of being moved around in vehicles between different locations, all the while being subjected to beatings, continued over several days.

Finally, the men arrived at a location where they were forced to kneel on the floor, still restrained with handcuffs and blindfolded.

“We all remained like this for 37 days… almost naked in the blistering cold, our bodies exhausted, our souls drifting away. The food was barely enough to keep you alive,” said Hassan.

When the men tried to complain about the conditions of their detention, their captors brought in soldiers with dogs.

“They unleashed them on us. The dogs would attack us, scratching us while the commander would continue to beat us with utter brutality.”

Every few days the men would be taken for questioning. Hassan said he was shown images of tunnels and his interrogators would ask him what he knew about them.

“Whenever I said that I didn’t [know anything] they would slap, punch, hit, and kick me all over my body,” said Hassan.

“The soldiers with their commander would make a lot of noise… so we were not able to sleep and remained exhausted and completely strained from fatigue, starvation, and torture.”

One night in the early hours as he tried to rest, Hassan was kicked awake by a soldier and dragged to a bus with four other men. The bus took them to Karm Abu Salem, the main crossing between Israel and southern Gaza, where they were released.

“The commander screamed at us that we should walk quickly, but I could barely walk [because of] the beating and kneeling and the lack of food and sleep. The soldiers started running after us to scare us.”

Hassan said the men managed to drag themselves to nearby UN buses that were waiting to collect them.

[shimmershifts]

what triggers a shift?

reality shifts, as we call them, are not exactly something you do, they're more like something you let happen.

you could shift while jogging, cooking, cleaning, or watching tv. this is because the stuff you are doing with your body in the 3D reality you currently perceive is irrelevant to whether you can shift or not. your 3D body is not what makes you shift, and therefor it is not what holds you back from shifting either. i do think, however, that due to the way we perceive the 3D as a constraint, we have an easier time shifting if we find out what triggers us to shift, and then using those techniques as we get into the prime state for shifting to happen.

if we look across all "shifting methods," we begin to see patterns, and similarities across communities. boiling down these methods, there are three tools used across a wide variety of them that i've identified. most methods include or involve relaxation, visualization, and repetition. i have my own theories for why these tools help with shifting, but let's get into how to use them your own way in the context of shifting.

authors note: please please please don't overthink these tools, or think you have to use these tools the same way others do in order to shift. i think this leads a lot of people into being stumped, thinking "i did the exact same things in the same order that shifter123799 did on tumblr.com, so why did they shift and i didn't?" methods like alice in wonderland, raven method, etc sometimes play into this because they tell you step by step what to think and when to think it. the techniques below are not that. the things below are not methods. they are tools you should learn to use in your own way, if they help you. they are not steps to take in order to shift, but tools in your toolbox that you can use in your own way, however that works for you. don't think: "how does shimmer relax, visualize and repeat? if i do it the same way, then i will shift."

instead think, "what helps me relax? how do i naturally visualize? is repetition helpful for me?"

relaxation

first and foremost, you don't have to be relaxed to shift. however, lots of people, especially beginners find it easier that way. something about reaching a relaxed state seems to help trigger a reality shift in a lot of people. maybe it's just easier to let the shift happen in the 5D when you're relaxed in the 3D. because again, i don't think shifting is something we "do" the way we wave our arms or stomp our foot. our awareness just happens to have the capacity to shift into a different 3D reality, and we're trying to get into a state where that's likely to happen.

lots of methods out there include some form of relaxation technique, like counting, breath control, staying still, meditation, calming your mind, etc but i implore you to think about what relaxes you. all of those techniques could work for somebody, but what matters is what works for you. when you're laying down to go to sleep, would you feel relaxed by forcing your mind to be quiet and forcing your body to be still? if not, that may not be the right relaxation technique for you.

one tip i will give, is that there is a difference between relaxing your body, relaxing your mind, and relaxing your awareness. i think it can be helpful to learn how to do each one, and figure out which one (if any) helps trigger a shift for you. i promise you already know how to relax. how do you relax? what do you already do to relax? it can be fun or helpful to try other people's way too, and maybe you find something that really enhances your experience, but don't lose sight of how simple it is to relax.

sidebar: if you're like me and have c-ptsd, anxiety, adhd, or something similar, it can be daunting or frustrating to be told to "just relax." so, again, you don't have to be relaxed to shift. if relaxation isn't a tool that works in your toolbox, don't pack it, scroll down to the other tools below. but if you just have trouble relaxing your body, maybe try relaxing your mind instead. or if you have trouble relaxing your mind, maybe focus on relaxing your body first. you can also learn to relax your awareness, without relaxing either of those things.

visualization

this is one of the most powerful tools for shifting, in my personal opinion. i think this is because our awareness can struggle to discern the difference between 3D reality, and a visualization, especially when we are in a state of being primed to shift (pure awareness, lack of awareness, or destabilized awareness.) this is because your awareness is not physical, it is not 3D. there is no one specific atom or molecule or body part where you can point and say "there it is, that's human awareness." that's why we can shift in the first place. your awareness is not 3D, it's simply getting its data and input sent to it from the 3D via the brain. so the point of visualization, in the context of shifting, is to disrupt that flow of data and input and say "hey, look at this instead, oooo shiny visualization, look here," and your awareness probably will.

there are tons of different ways people like to visualize, and please know that you don't need to copy other people's visualization in order to shift. it's not what you are visualizing that causes a shift, but how you are visualizing and what state of awareness you are in while you're doing it that i think plays a key factor. find whatever way you like to visualize. again, don't overthink this. i promise you already know how to visualize. yes, even those with aphantasia, because visualization does not just mean actually seeing things visually in your mind. if the term "visualization" stumps you, try "thinking of a representation" instead. some people like to imagine the actual sensations of sight, sound, touch, scent or taste as if they're feeling it now. but maybe when you "visualize" you're just thinking of how those things would feel, or listing it verbally.

so to be absolutely clear, your goal is not to visualize so hard that you start feeling these things with your 3D body in this reality. (side note, it's awesome if you can do that, but it's not needed for shifting!) if your goal is to shift, your goal is not to feel these things with your 3D body in this reality, your goal is to shift your awareness into a reality where your body is already feeling these things. when you are doing your visualization technique in this reality, you are not trying to create or materialize these sensations, but to trigger your awareness to shift in the direction of where you already have those experiences. while visualizing your DR scene or whatever, stop searching for those sensations with your 3D senses here. trigger your awareness to shift to them elsewhere.

repetition

honestly, repetition is the double edged sword. i think repetition can help with shifting. repeating visualization, repeating thoughts, repeating methods, repeating in general can have a strong affect on triggering a shift. we learn by repetition. the more times we're introduced to something, the more comfortable we feel with it. repeating the same visualization over and over can help sink it into your mind. repeating the same relaxation technique can help you sink into relaxation faster each time you use it, because your body or your mind or your awareness begins to recognize and accept it easier.

but i think it can be helpful to consider what you're repeating, and whether you're doing it mindfully. repeating something can make it easier, but it can also get you stuck in a rut. the more times we repeat something, the more comfortable we are with it... are you repeating something over and over that's not working for you, and getting too comfortable with things not working? are you repeating the same method over and over because that repetition is serving you, or are you mindlessly repeating it because you don't know what else might serve you?

mindless repetition can also be a tool, if you're using it for a specific purpose. ie, there are lots of counting methods or repeating mantra methods out there designed to help you repeat the same thing over and over in the 3D until your awareness begins to drown it out, therefore de-centering the 3D and moving to a state of pure awareness, or lack of awareness. but is that what you're doing, or even trying to do?

so, i suppose my advice is to use repetition, but to use it with purpose.

[binthecloud]

read the patterns - s. changbin

seo changbin x female!reader | fwb, angst, fluff, suggestive, one small smut scene | wc: 3.6k | notes: he’s an oblivious idiot, she’s aware of that; dialogue heavy; i like it by skz meets read your mind by sabrina carpenter

~~~~~~

“so you’re saying we don’t have a relationship similar to valentines, did i get it right?”

“yeah, i mean– we do some stuff they do, but it’s just the difference between a dotted line and a solid line, you know?” he explained, still naked on your bed while you got ready to work. “i like what we have, no need to go that deep.”

you stared him down, trying not to laugh.

“then you won’t be upset if we can’t see each other for a while?”

“what would be the reason?”

“i don’t know, i might be too busy or overwhelmed to meet up and have sex.”

“we’ve spent time together with no sex before, so give me another reason.”

“now you see, that’s valentines behavior right there,” you pointed out. “since we’re not friends to avoid deeper intimacy, why should we spend time together doing things other than sex?”

changbin narrowed his eyes, suspicious.

“are you trying to end what we have, is that it?”

finally, you broke out laughing.

“no! i just find it funny that you give me all these goofy punch lines while doing the exact opposite,” you cleared, walking closer to the bed. “i’ll give you some time to read the patterns, but if you refuse to accept them, i’ll have to change our dynamics for the type of relationship you really want.”

when changbin tried to pull you back to bed, you were quicker to escape, going for your bag over your desk.

“can’t be late today, bin,” you warned. “you can sleep longer, but don’t forget to wash your dishes and make the bed before you leave.”

“why are you telling me what to do? did i ever forget?” he whined.

“no, you didn’t, exactly. that’s pattern number one.” you threw him a wink and left the room.

changbin whined your name again, making you hold a smile. you pressed the elevator button with thoughts wandering around your non-established relationship with the man on your bed. you were well aware of his bad experiences with dating before, that’s what gave you the patience to deal with his detachment speeches. the thing was that changbin was the clingiest friend with benefits to ever exist– the sex is amazing, of course, but what made you stay was his attentive demeanor, his dedication to make you feel the best in bed, to prioritize your pleasure, to make you want to come back.

since you lived quite far from each other, both agreed to spend the night and just leave in the morning for safety reasons. changbin was the one to pitch the idea, to be honest– on your third night together.

“i don’t believe it’s safe for you to go home right now, so just stay the night,” he said, head buried on the curve of your neck, pressing slow lazy kisses on your skin.

“oh, so you’re making up an excuse to cuddle me?” you asked, eyes closed, enjoying the aftercare way too much.

“i mean, i won’t be rude and tell you to leave. i’m thinking of your safety, if you’re safe while cuddling me, what can i do?”

you gave a light slap on his thigh resting over your waist.

“yeah, alright. is cooking included in the package? ‘cause i’m getting hungry.”

changbin raised his head, you could visualize a cartoon light bulb right in the air.

“i can cook in the morning, but my favorite diner is open until late,” he announced. “your feedback might affect your next orgarms for the night.”

you frowned at his choice of words, but couldn’t help an endearing laugh.

“is it that important to you?”

“oh, you have no idea.”

“then call them, i’m gonna shower while you’re at it.”

changbin giggled and jumped off the bed to reach for his phone.

the food was actually amazing, so he made you come at least three times before you blacked out on his arms. the breakfast didn’t happen, though, you had to leave as soon as you woke up for a work meeting. the tiredness of the night before almost made you late, but you went through it even with your focus far away from your apartment.

changbin’s excuse to stay the night at your place was that the streets weren’t safe for anyone to drive that late.

“that’s when drunk people go out there and mess up everything. do you mind me staying?”

“to cuddle as well?”

“that’s non-negotiable.”

in fact, these late night hook ups weren’t usual. the first time was after a daytime party for your friends engagement, two months ago, the first time you really met changbin in person. you knew him from pictures with your friend's fiance, but never crossed paths until that very day. lots of talking, dancing, laughing and flirting later, you ended up at his apartment with no clothes on and a pretty fun afternoon.

you decided to leave in the evening, since you also weren’t looking for attachment – even though changbin’s number was already saved with a promise of another good time soon. your hookups were planned to be whenever one of you needed a release, so the first rule was to respect each other's free periods on the day.

“i have no fixed hours, so you might not get lucky sometimes,” you warned.

“guess i’ll just have to sadly handle it myself.” he shrugged.

you took the opportunity to bring up another topic.

“do you plan on doing it with other people?” your eyes didn’t leave his.

“i don’t think so, it’s not easy to match the chemistry these days,” he answered honestly. “but i can’t give you the hopes of a deeper commitment, i’m not available for that.”

you turned your body to lay over his, pressing a peck on his lips, “don’t worry about it. this is fun as it is.”

“they say the trailer is always the most fun part, anyway.” he cocks a brow, smirking.

“oh, so you got some punch lines? nice to know what i’m getting into.”

changbin laughed, pulling you closer to kiss you properly. the rest was history.

~~~~~~

“bin,” you whispered in the darkness of your room.

he was sleeping right beside you. it took one more grind of your ass over his crotch to take a hum out of him.

“need me, baby?”

“please, put it in me, this wet dream won't let me go back to sleep.”

with one hand, you took off your panties, with the other, you played with his cock over his pajama shorts. his left arm goes under to hug you by the waist, keeping you close enough to still allow you to roll back onto him. he left kisses all over your shoulder, aware that you were in the mood to be his pillow princess. which was okay with him — changbin loved being your service top.

“oh, i’m so lucky… having the best pussy just for me,” he moaned, trusting slowly from behind. he holds your right knee up to your stomach so he could have more access to your creamy hole. “is it okay, baby? want me to go harder? talk to me.”

“i'm so tired and sensitive, just want to go back to sleep,” you whine, playing with your nipples and pressing harder against him.

he gets the message and speeds it up, pounding harder, making your whines go louder.

~~~~~~

things started to get weird when changbin got teased by your friends in common. during a dinner hang out in dan and aeri’s apartment, changbin got comfortable enough to have you sitting on his lap while everyone was around in the living room. no one was drinking, to be fair, everyone had work and classes the following day, so a hangover wasn’t an option. changbin was holding a cup of juice on the hand that wasn’t around your waist, you were holding a small plate of snacks to share with him.

later that night, the line was dropped:

“oh, but it’s so nice to see changbin being as married as aeri and dan!”, jun cheered.

“right? thought it would take longer to see our bin this happy again,” yujin agreed, the biggest smile on her face.

you could feel him tense slightly under you.

“thank you, everybody. glad to know you were paying that much attention to me, i feel very loved,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his tongue.

being too busy chewing on your food, you just smiled at the interaction. everyone was aware of changbin’s issues with commitment, everyone was aware that he wouldn’t be the one to admit that the joke wasn’t that much of a joke, after all.

when they changed the target to another friend, you thought it would be fun to keep on teasing him by yourself.

“guess i gotta take our marriage off my vision board now?” you whispered, putting a snack on his mouth to shut him up and make him think first.

changbin narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. he licked his lips, then left a small kiss on your arm.

“you better hide this hypothetical vision board when i’m around, or else i’ll have to take two steps back.”

he said that with such a cute smile that your reaction must have been what he expected for his comeback teasing. your smile wavered instantly, so you averted your gaze to the conversation happening outside your bubble. your body that felt so comfortable against his, started to feel itchy to get out of there as soon as possible– but you didn’t, you didn’t want to make a scene for something you knew was bound to happen.

“hey, i didn’t mean i don’t want to know about your plans, of course i do.” he squeezed your thigh softly to get your attention back.

“no, you’re right. honestly, i think we’re doing everything wrong at this point,” you mumbled, trying to be discreet. the mood obviously changed, but you hoped that you two were invisible in the room.

“what do you mean by that?” changbin asked, confused.

“aeri, where did you find these goodies? they don’t sell this flavor in my area.”

your friend got up excited, as if willing to share her newest discovery. she took you to the kitchen the showed you the pile of snacks she stocked for a week. aeri gave you two packs – for you and changbin, but you immediately let her know that those would be just for you.

“how are things in paradise?” she asked, leaning against the counter.

“been good, but i realized changbin has a twisted idea of a friends with benefits dynamic, so i’ll have to remind him of how it’s done.”

aeri watched you carefully, letting silence take the room. she didn’t have to search for disappointment on your features, it was pretty evident.

“yeah, it’s time he gets shaken up,” she agrees. “he’ll be a real loser if he lets you go.”

you gave her a faint smile, nodding. before sad thoughts took over your brain, you decided to leave, it was getting late– of course aeri didn’t believe it one bit, but she hugged you goodbye anyways. on the other hand, changbin was alert when you returned to the living room. he got ready to leave as well, hugging everybody while pretending he wasn’t the reason for your sudden change of mood.

the silence remained in the elevator and all the way to his car. changbin’s brain was overworking to come up with a solution for his mistake. unlike him, you looked oddly calm.

“y/n,” he decided to break the wall. “i’m really sorry for what i said. i didn’t mean to be insensitive about your plans.”

you shook your head, eyes on the street. “that’s not what upset me, actually,” you admited, changbin frowned. “i just realized i already told you about all of them, and i shouldn’t have done that.”

“what? why wouldn’t you?”

“because this isn’t what a sex-based relationship is about.”

“alright, no need to be rude,” he couldn’t help but scold you. “i never said i wasn’t interested in your life, i never said it was all about sex.”

“didn’t i tell you to read the patterns? did you even try?"

changbin paused, being able to look at you properly after stopping at the red light.

“i thought you were joking. i know i have crossed some lines, but–”

“you have crossed all of them, bin, that’s what i want you to realize.” he went silent. “i’m not ending things, i’m just acting differently from now on, like it’s supposed to be.”

a few minutes later, changbin parked in front of your building. he waited for your invitation, not sure if he was still welcome.

“you can come up, if you want,” you say, grinning when his face brightened a bit. “but there won’t be cuddles nor staying the night.”

his face fell again.

“but, baby, look at the time…”

“you can risk it tonight, that’s your call. we can give up the nightly hookups too.”

“stop teasing me, i’m warning you,” he said, his voice lower.

changbin took the car to your building’s parking lot, then you waited for the elevator together. you could feel his hand restless near yours, so you intertwined your fingers with his, feeling him relax. he didn’t stop looking at you once you got inside. for the both of you, it was not a thing to make out in public, but changbin hadn’t kissed you in what seemed like hours, so it was freaking difficult to stay sane in that moment.

as soon as you locked your door, changbin grabbed your waist to pull you closer, but you turned away when he tried to kiss you.

“we won’t get freaky tonight, okay? don’t want you too tired to drive back home later.”

changbin let out a frustrated goan locked his fingers on the back of your neck, tearing a moan out of you.

“baby, please, just shut the fuck up and let me give you what you deserve.”

~~~~~~

in the following days, changbin got busy with a project and you got overworked by your boss, so you couldn’t meet even once. the pent up stress joined the sadness of not being able to talk about it with changbin. you were aware that it was probably immature to just let him out like that, but you couldn’t give him all of yourself if he wouldn’t do something about it. changbin was the proud one in the situation, you were so tired and fragile to give him an ultimatum.

“is he fucking dumb, aeri?” you cried once. “how can he act that way and not actually be with me as a boyfriend? am i the only one fucking loving? didn’t i prove enough that i’m not his ex?”

aeri hugged you while dan prepared a cup of tea in the kitchen.

“i’m being honest when i say yes, he might be fucking dumb,” dan uttered from afar. “changbin is contradicting himself with this detachment shit. he’s unable to not care about someone’s feelings.”

“darling, don’t be wordy,” aeri advised, which made you laugh a little.

“y/n, i felt really sorry for bin when his ex messed him up.” dan returned holding two cups, giving to you and aeri. he held a finger up as a sign to wait, then he came back with his own cup. “but it’s been over a year, that’s why everybody jokes about him being happier, it isn’t actually a joke.”

“yeah, it’s clear as day that you and bin make a pretty good match”, aeri added. “he might be scared, but these actions are starting to hurt you because it’s obvious you’re not just friends with benefits anymore.”

you sniffled, less tears falling. the warm cup on your palms helped grounding you, somehow.

“i’m so fucking overwhelmed, i just wanted to feel safe with him.”

~~~~~~

the next day, all of changbin’s texts to you stayed on read.

bini: good morning, baby

bini: day off today, uh? any plans?

bini: how did that project go?

bini: my friend took me to the cutest ice cream shop yesterday

bini: let me know whenever you’re craving for it

bini: they have your favorite order there

bini: hey, answer me when you wake up

bini: was thinking of taking you out to lunch

bini: you’re probably overworked as always

bini: please take care of yourself

in the afternoon, you looked over the blanket to see your phone vibrating. changbin was calling.

“hey,” you picked up, not even a bit of excitement in your tone.

“sleeping late today?”

“no, just rotting in bed, actually.”

“everything okay? do you need anything?”

“just an awful week at work. i’ll hang out with aeri later, see if i can cheer up.”

“did you check my texts? i can come over right now, if you want. i’m an amazing company, as you know.”

“not in the mood for sex today, bin.”

“what? didn’t even think of it!”

you sigh, no energy left to have that conversation.

“well, you should. that’s all we have in common. don’t try crossing the line you created yourself.”

“y/n, don’t be stubborn, i want to take care of you.”

“you don’t have to, it’s not part of your role.”

“is this some kind of sick punishment? why are you doing this? i am your friend.”

“no, you’re not. the only time i get to be vulnerable with you is when we’re horny in bed, that’s all. my struggles outside our rooms are none of your business because that would require a level of intimacy that you made sure i knew is forbidden,” you ramble without noticing. “so, no, changbin, you can’t take care of me because i’m just your fuck buddy. i’ll text you when i get better, when i feel like i can be a good partner to you again, alright?”

“yeah, sorry. i get it, i’ll wait for you.”

but you didn’t hang up, you waited for him to do it. far from that cheesy couple action of not wanting to hang up first, you heart hurt just to think of doing it– distancing yourself.

you only realized you’d started crying when you heard his voice again.

“i’ll be there in ten. can you leave the door open for me, baby?”

you sniffled, just mumbling a weak “yes”. you heard the sound of keys and changbin moving around.

“just wait for me, okay? i’ll be with you in a few.”

then he hung up, leaving you with your heart on your sleeve. you got up from the bed and went to the door, unlocking it. after drinking some water in the kitchen, you got back in your room, throwing yourself over the sheets. didn’t take long for you to fall asleep again, burnout messing up your sleep schedule for a couple days now.

changbin woke you up in the softest way possible. he patted your hair carefully to bring you out of your slumber– it was great to see his face again as you opened your eyes.

“hi, baby.”

“hi,” you said. wasting no time to cuddle him by the waist, forcing him to lay down and get comfortable with you.

changbin left a kiss on the top of your hair, feeling your heartbeat due to how close you were.

“i’m sorry for being such a stubborn dumbass,” he started. “thank you for being so patient, for waiting as long as you could. sorry i couldn’t wait for you like i said i would today– couldn’t handle the thought of having you crying by yourself.”

“so you came to cry with me?” your voice was muffled by his shirt.

“of course, that’s part of my role as your friend and your boyfriend.”

silence again.

“that’s not the best way to make it official.”

“probably, but the label’s been here for a while, we just had to voice it out.”

“yeah, that’s why we all agreed you’re fucking dumb sometimes.”

“don’t tell me ‘we all’ includes dan and aeri.”

“won’t tell you, then.”

changbin changed his position to put you on your back, facing him. he used his thumb to get rid of the tear paths on your face, then started pressing kisses all over.

“i wasn’t planning to fall in love, but loving you is the easiest thing in the world,” he said, eyes locked on yours. “the only thing making me scared was my own memory of a bad time, ‘cause you never got me triggered, ever.”

you nodded, biting your lower lip nervously.

“i’m terribly sorry for pushing you away with my words, i know i can be quite contradictory.”

“speak your truth, cuddle monster.”

changbin’s eyes widened, hands immediately going to tickle your ribs. he couldn’t even be offended, he actually felt relieved knowing that you read his patterns so well.

“you know i’m sorry for your past experiences, and i’m glad you didn’t change your ways of affection, that’s what made me fall in love,” you stated. “i didn’t believe your goofy lines once, but you had to get a reality shock for your own good.”

his smile got bigger before kissing you softly. his tongue touched yours with an electric wave that came from longing and loving each other so much.

“have you eaten? we can cry together about your work and then i can cook you something,” changbin offered, playing with your hair.

“can we cry while you cook, though? i’m feeling hungry right now.”

“however you want it, baby.”

[bestanimal]

Round 3 - Reptilia - Caprimulgiformes

(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)

As we move into the Strisores clade, our next order are the Caprimulgiformes, commonly known as “nightjars”, “bugeaters”, or “nighthawks”. Caprimulgiformes is composed on one family, Caprimulgidae, and 19 genera.

Nightjars are medium-sized nocturnal or crepuscular birds, characterised by long pointed wings, short legs with small feet, and short beaks at the tip of a large mouth. Their primary source of food are night-flying insects, and they fill a similar role to insect-eating bats. Nightjars usually catch their prey by flying through insects with their wide mouths open. They have soft, cryptic plumage, allowing them to camouflage against trees while they sleep during the days. They have rictal bristles around their beak which function similarly to whiskers. Nightjars live on all continents except Antarctica, and some islands, in almost all habitats aside from the most arid deserts.

Nightjars are generally solitary, but will form flocks for the purpose of migration and/or for mating displays. They usually nest on the ground, laying one or two patterned eggs directly onto bare ground. It has been suggested and quoted that nightjars can move their eggs and chicks from the nesting site in the event of danger by carrying them in their mouths, but there is little evidence to support this idea. The nocturnal and secretive nature of nightjars makes it hard to study their behavior. It is unknown whether nightjars mate for life, but they are monogamous for the duration of the mating season.

Strisores have a well-represented fossil record, with fossils of most major strisorean lineages known from the Paleogene. Strisores evolved in the Eocene, with its two main extant lineages separating about 60–55 million years ago. At around 40 mya, the common ancestors of Caprimulgidae and Nyctibiidae diverged from those of the oilbird and frogmouths.

Propaganda under the cut:

The Common Poorwill (Phalaenoptilus nuttallii) is one of the only birds that undergoes a form of hibernation, becoming torpid and with a much reduced body temperature for weeks or months. Other nightjars can also enter a state of torpor, but for shorter periods.

The European Nightjar (Caprimulgus europaeus) is also known as the Common Goatsucker. This, along with their genus name, refers to an old myth that it would suckle from goats at night, causing them to cease to give milk. (Nightjars do not do this)

Nightjars have a reflective tapetum lucidum at the back of their eyes, causing their eyes to “glow” when lit up at night.

Nightjars do almost everything on the wing, including eating and drinking.

Several comic book heroes use the pseudonym “nighthawk”, including the detective Nelson Lee in “The Nelson Lee Library”, a Harvey Comics superhero, the cowboy Hannibal Hawkes in the DC Comics Universe, and several characters within the Marvel Comics Universe. In fact, there is an abundance of media using the name “nighthawk”, from art pieces, to films, to music, to sports teams, to racehorses, to aircraft, motorcycles, firearms, and amusement park rides. It’s possible that many of the people using this name only know that the nighthawk is a nocturnal bird, and not so much that it’s a small, big-mouthed, insect-eater.

[yuurei20]

Sorry if this was asked before but do we know why Lilia's dream doesn't seem to follow the same pattern as everyone else's dream? It seems strange for him to be reliving a moment of war in a dream that's suppose to exclude all things deemed bad and does this mean Malleus knew what happened back then? Some of it, like how Lilia actually found Silver, seems like things he wouldn't entirely know either. Why would Lilia's dream be the only one not happy despite Malleus doing this for him?

Hello hello! Thank you for this question! 🦇

This is a most interesting thought, and Silver asks himself the same question! (also, we see on-screen the moment where Lilia's anti-Malleus protection drops and the dream adapts accordingly 👀 more below)

Silver reflects,

I've been thinking about something ever since we entered Father's dream. Malleus's spell is what's showing him all of this, right? So why is it all so horrible? If we take Malleus at his word, his magical slumber is supposed to give people dreams that are perfectly tailored to make the dreamer happy. It would make more sense for Father's dream to be one where fae and humans don't fight. Where Malleus's parents are alive. A dream where Briarland remains a great nation. Malleus also said that he's monitoring our dreams and reigning over them. If he knew we were here, it stands to reason that he'd try to remove us, like he did in Sebek's.

Later, Silver realizes why the Fae-Human war of 400 years in the past is the subject of Lilia's dream:

I've been wondering all this time why Father's dream was filled with so many terrible things. But...now I finally understand. This was the happiest moment in Father's life. All the fighting, the injuries, the losses...all of that suffering lead up to this. The moment that Malleus was born.

As you say this is an interesting paradox, as--according to the rules of the dreams, created by someone who cannot comprehend the concept of happiness derived from pain--Lilia should not be able to feel losses or suffering at all.

Ortho: "I thought Malleus's dream worlds were designed to provide the target with whatever form of pleasure they wanted...but maybe it's more of a system to remove displeasure the target doesn't want. Sadness, anger, and the like.”

And it is possible that you have landed on exactly the explanation: Malleus didn't actually know what happened 400 years ago.

But Malleus presumably doesn't know about the death of human Ortho, or about Vil's struggles with Neige, or about Jamil's and Kalim's and Azul's and Floyd's and Jade's inner turmoils--how could he?--and yet, those details are all personalized to each dreamer beyond Malleus' comprehension.

As Ortho explains, “It's the dreamers themselves whose imaginations form those happy dreams."

Malleus doesn't actually have to know details from the dreamers' personal lives: it is the dreamers themselves who are unknowingly crafting their own prisons. Malleus' influence is the removal of negativity.

So why is Lilia alone different? It is possibly because of: ✨imagination!✨

Ortho realizes that Malleus cannot manifest or defend against what he doesn't know, and Silver guesses that Malleus isn't interfering in Lilia's dream--is unable to set the "no sadness, no pain" regulations--because it takes place before he was born.

Sebek makes a similar connection: "Perhaps there's some reason that Malleus can't monitor Lilia's dream."

Malleus cannot imagine things that took place before his own birth, and he cannot control things that he cannot imagine. He put Lilia to sleep but it was Lilia who made the dream, and it just happened to be a dream that locked Malleus out.

And we even see the exact moment in Lilia's dream where the "pre-Malleus" barriers of Lilia's dream come down: when the dream overrides the reality of the abuse Lilia suffered after saving Malleus' life, replacing it with the senate praising him as a hero, instead.

But this wasn't a one-time exception or from Malleus successfully forcing his way inside, it was because Malleus had finally been born, enabling the "no sadness" rules to be implemented for the very first time, as the only thing keeping him out was Lilia dreaming of events from before his birth.

No birth = no imagination = no rules, yes birth = yes imagination = yes rules? 🐉

And this brings us back to Idia's explanation of what it is that Malleus is doing:

Idia describes Malleus as a "server admin" using copies of himself to handle players committing TOS violations.

The "copies of himself" wording might make it sound as though Malleus Draconia lookalikes exists in every single dream, but it seems that this phrasing wasn't meant to be literal copies of Malleus, like what we saw in Idia's dream. Malleus could not show up in a dream like Jade's, for example, without causing a paradox that would break things down.

But the Malleus-copy in Idia's dream might not have been only Malleus himself. It might have also been human Ortho 👀

Ortho: Unlike with Epel and Rook, the GM is by the dreamers side at all times here. Considering circumstances were much the same with my brother...that might mean even Malleus is wary of housewarden-class mages, and keeps them under tighter surveillance.

The GMs--the Malleus copies--are the characters like Neige for Vil, etc. Idia refers to them as clones, but they are not visually multiple Malleuses.

As Vil and Rook appear in Epel's dream Idia says outright, "The Malleus clone GMs must be on their way to do course-corrections now that the user is deviating from the dream."

Ortho follows with, "it seems to take whatever form makes it easier to keep a target immersed in their dream."

And while Lilia had multiple NPCs in his dream (Baul, Henrick, Maleanor, Knight of Dawn, etc.), there was never a point when one of them tried to convince Lilia to stay asleep, which we have seen happen to every single other dreamer up until this point.

Baul is even surprised by the darkness. Unlike Neige and dream-Kalim/Jamil/Azul/Jade/Floyd, Baul is not self aware.

Lilia's dream maybe did not have any Malleus clones in it, because Malleus could not get in.

Lilia's despair at Maleanor's death and his loss of Egg-sama does summon darkness within his dream, but the darkness of Lilia's dream is curious: when Lilia is dragged into the abyss the darkness it does not take the form of anyone he knows, or even speak to him.

The darkness simply appears and Lilia succumbs to it, much like it responded to Sebek's happiness at the thought of remaining in Lilia's dream forever, and Silver's breakdown with the revelation of his lineage.

The darkness pursues the soldiers constantly throughout all of Lilia's dream, even when nothing particularly terrible or wonderful is happening. Sebek wonders if it is under Malleus' control but he does not actually know, and neither do we!

Maybe the darkness of Lilia's dream was an effect of Malleus trying and failing to force his way into a world beyond his comprehension?

It is possible that, with Malleus' ability to infiltrate Lilia's dream compromised by the limits of his own imagination, Malleus was never able to enforce the rules of the dreamworld, thus turning Lilia--the person he wanted to save--into the one person capable of experiencing pain, loss and sorrow, beyond Malleus' control 🐉 Maybe!

[zombiefiilm]

It’s Cold Out Here

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

summary: spencer reid has just the plan to keep you warm in the car while you wait for a suspect

warnings: some mentioned with the unsub, classic cm type violence mentioned, no use of y/n, nsfw - 18+ only, making out, car sex(ish?), fingering, handjob, male oral, getting interrupted

word count: 2.1k

When you agreed to wait outside the suspected unsub's house with Spencer Reid, you did not expect it to turn into a several-hour stakeout.

You had pulled up just around the corner from the old house that looked like it was rotting from the inside out, with a perfect view of the front porch from where your black car sat, expecting the man who lived inside to leave the house to find his next victim and allow you to follow him.

His victims were all over the place, young and old, men and women, various financial status'. It just hadn't made any sense from the start and there was barely any bones to the profile at all, the only thing you all knew was that he was a man, likely between the ages of 30 and 45, who had a comprehensive knowledge of the human body and that he was somehow able to take his victims from public places in broad daylight. There didn't seem to be any sexual behaviour in these killings, the unsub killing each victim with a single gunshot to the head and cleanly taking out a different organ from each victim.

The only reason you even had a suspect in the first place was two witnesses stating that they had seen a blue Volvo Sedan that seemed to have driven off in a hurry from the locations the victims were being taken from at a similar time. Thankfully, one of the witness statements had included a partial plate, which Garcia was easily able to track down.

Prentiss and Reid had knocked on the front door earlier in the day, hoping to talk to the unsub with the premiss of him being a witness, but to no avail, the door never opened and with every curtain drawn, they had no visual of inside the home either.

Eventually, the plan had become to wait out the unsub, to follow him and pounce once there was any sign of suspicious behaviour, but it was taking significantly longer than expected.

Since the BAU had landed in Missouri, the unsub hadn't made a single move. While it was fortunate that there had been no more victims, it made it quite hard for you to get closer to finding out who he was. Through his patterns though, you were hoping that tonight would be the time for him to find his next victim.

You had gotten to your spot at around 4pm, Spencer driving and you in the passenger seat, and the blue car was still parked in the driveway. You set yourself up, expecting to be waiting for 4 or 5 hours maximum, but as the clock hit 11pm, alongside the command of staying at your 'stakeout' spot until someone walked out of that front door, you knew you were going to be in for the long haul.

Armed with a box of ritz crackers and beef jerky, you both indulged in the most depressing meal you had in a while.

"One of us should try get some sleep and the other can stay awake and watch, just so we're not both out of our minds tired tomorrow" you told Spencer, wrapping your jacket tightly around yourself, attempting to battle the cold air in the car.

"You can sleep first, I want to read through the files again, see if we've missed anything" he brushed a stray hair out of his face as he reached around to the back seat and grabbed one of the thick folders.

"Alright" you replied, tilting your seat back as far as it could go and wrapping your arms around yourself. "Wake me up in an hour".

"Got it"

"Night Reid" you closed your eyes, desperate to get some rest.

"Night".

You weren't sure how long you had been asleep, but you woke yourself up with your own shivering. The car had somehow gotten even colder in the time you were out. You groggily rubbed your eyes, turning around to see Reid engrossed by what he was reading.

"How long was I asleep?" you sat up, still shivering.

Spencer looked over at you, and then down at his watch. "About two hours".

"I told you to wake me up" you hit his shoulder, "you need to sleep too".

"I'm fine, plus you've been complaining about not sleeping well since we got here, you needed it"

You smiled at him, a little giddy over the fact that he was showing how much he cared about you.

You sat up fully now, taking another folder from the back of the car and opening it up. You knew you wouldn't be able to get back to sleep and there was no point in trying.

As time passed, you hadn't even noticed that your teeth had started clattering with the cold.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked, putting down the papers in front of him. "You've been shivering for a while".

"Yeah, just really cold" you answered simply, glancing up at the house again to see nothing had changed.

"You can have my jacket" he quickly shrugged it off "I run hot".

"Are you sure? I don't want you to be cold either"

Without answering, he just leant over the centre console, and wrapped his jacket around your shoulders but stopped when his face was right in front of yours.

It felt like an eternity where you both looked into each other's eyes without a single word. Right as he went to sit back in his seat though, you grabbed his arm to stop him. You weren't even sure what your plan was but you just knew you wanted him to stay that close.

Neither of you were unfamiliar with looking at each other like that. with longing looks across the office and always sitting across from each other on the jet, it was quite clear to everyone on the team that you both felt like more that coworkers.

"I do know another way to warm you up" he gave you a bashful smile, looking anywhere but your face.

"And what's that?" you whispered, the words almost getting stuck in your throat.

He briefly looked into your eyes, and then down to your lips. You took that as your sign to lean in, gently pressing your lips to his. He almost seemed taken aback, but he quickly kissed you back, opening his mouth and slipping his tongue into your mouth.

The kiss was gentle, warming, as his hand slowly trailed from your knee up to your inner thigh. You wouldn't have expected him to be this forward, but before you knew it, his large hand was resting right over your heat, through your jeans.

He broke away from the kiss, both of you panting lightly "Is this okay?" his question was genuine as he waited for your okay before doing anything.

"Yes Spencer, please, please touch me" you hadn't expected yourself to be so desperate but the thought of his slender hands down your pants had you squirming in your seat.

The smirk that planted on his face at your desperation would be stuck in your head forever. He quickly unbuttoned your jeans and helped you tug them down to your mid thigh, quickly followed by your underwear.

The moment he saw your cunt, he practically moaned to himself, making quick moves to touch you. His fingers slowly gathered up the slick from your slit before his finger gently caught on your clit, making you jolt.

"God, you're so wet already" he whispered to himself, lifting his finger up to the light to get a good look at your juice on him. He moved his hand back down again, this time gently circling your clit.

His movements had you falling into him already, long forgetting about the freezing temperature of the car, your head resting on his shoulder as his finger travelled down to your hole.

He slowly slid his finger inside and you gasped quietly, the way you were already clenching around the single digit had Spencer rutting into the console he was leaning over.

Pumping in and out of you, he quickly added a second finger. You couldn't help but moan in his ear, your attempts to keep quiet waning as he began to curl his fingers, hitting your g-spot right on.

"H- holy shit Spence" you whined, as his fingers perfectly moved against your spongey walls. With your verbal reassurance spurring him on to please you more, he began to circle your clit with his thumb, in time with his quickening thrusts of his fingers.

All of his moves seemed thought out and calculated, like he was studying every single one of your reactions. He pressed his lips against yours once again, his tongue licking into your slack mouth in time with the movements of his hands.

It only took a few minutes before you were a mess, gentle whimpers slipping from your lips, your hips desperately jerking against his hand, desperate for your release, your hands gripping onto his forearms for stability.

As soon as he added a third finger, you knew you were done for. You squirmed in his hold as his fingers sped up, the slick sounds of your cunt filling the humid car as the coil in your stomach tightened.

"God- Fuck Spence, please, I'm gonna"

"Go on, cum for me, please" he groaned, his thumb circled faster around your clit as he pressed his own hips harder against the car, desperate for some form of release.

It was as if your body obeyed his words, seeing white as the pressure in your stomach released.

Your hips jerked into his hand as you came down from the high, Spencer's fingers still pumping in and out of you to help you ride out your orgasm.

Once you finally came down, you feverishly kissed Spencer, desperate to taste him again. You whined into his mouth as he pulled his fingers out of you, quickly missing the feeling of being so full.

As you separated again, Spencer placed his fingers in your mouth, making you taste yourself on his fingers. Once you licked his fingers clean, he pulled his hand back and kissed you again.

"God, you taste so good" he muttered, sloppily kissing you. It was then you noticed his shifting, desperate for stimulation on his cock.

"Let me help you now" you pushed him back into his seat, palming the crotch of his trousers.

He looked up at the door of your potential unsub, ensuring that he was still inside the house before giving you a nod. You desperately unzipped his trousers, pulling them down just far enough for you to pull out his cock.

You quickly pulled his erection out of his boxers, practically drooling at the sight. God.

The tip was red, precum smeared all over his tip, and it was big in every way.

You eagerly wrapped your hand around him, allowing a glob of your saliva to fall onto his tip before you pumped your hand up and down in small movements. You periodically swiped your thumb over his tip, spreading the pearly white liquid around.

Spencer was gripping onto the car door at your movements, his knuckles white as he desperately attempted to stop himself from bucking his hips into your hands.

Then, you decided you desperately needed to taste him. You leaned down, gently taking his tip into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it.

Spencer, in that moment, thought he had died and gone to heaven. He couldn't stop the moans from spilling out from his mouth.

Then, you took pushed your head down as far as you could, tickling the back of your throat as the hair at the base of his cock just-about brushed against your nose. Spencer was on the verge of biting through the skin of his lips to stop himself from fucking your face.

You moved your head back up before taking him entirely in your mouth again, but then Spencer tapped your shoulder and began to lift you off of him.

"The door, the door" his words stopped you in your tracks as he rubbed some of the condensation off of the windscreen in front of him. You got off of him, straightening yourself up in your own seat and pulling up your pants as he tucked himself back into his own trousers.

"I'll get you back" you half whispered as he started the car "later".

You could see him blush lightly as he started to follow behind the unsub. Maybe getting stuck in a car with Reid for 10 hours wasn't such a bad thing.

[multidimensionalguidance]

Bharani, Revati, Purva Ashadha, Uttara Ashadha, Jyeshtha, and Uttara Phalguni natives were keen as children to sleeping with their caregivers, and probably still do as adults.

Let me explain...

We all go through wanting to sleep next to our parents for a sense of safety, nervous system regulation, and physical warmth, but not everyone grows out of it in the same way, nor might have been also able to continue on enjoying it till (or past) being pre-teenagers.

We all usually get to the point of learning to be independent and enjoying our own space, but what all these nakshatras above share in common is having associations with the Elephant. And not just for their sleeping habits or pattern, but for the way they socialize and function as well.

They take short naps throughout the day, find it easier than most to sleep sitting down or laying on their side, cover their faces with their hands or a pillow, maybe even sleep with a hand close to the face, and most definitely literally roll out of bed.

Also, have y'll seen an Elephant upset? They will literally charge towards you, no second thoughts. There's a reason why Aries and Pisces placements rank high within aggressive individuals who act out of passion (Bharani) or cold calculated actions (Revati). Leo, Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, and Capricorn can also display or be known for the way they act when angry. Truly seeing red.

Their anger shakes those around them, and genially leaves them running away because what else are you going to do but get trampled? They are next level petty and revengeful if harmed, specially if you hurt their loved ones.

Their memory is also ridiculously amazing, hence why they'll remember for years whoever crossed a line and strategically f*ck you up when you least expect it. There are so many stories of Elephants being petty, dangerous, and unbothered with violence.

Now, they don't seek violent situations because most don't enjoy being upset or using force, but when you do get those glimpses it's scary. Elephants are rarely ever unable to win out a battle, specially when in pack, so they mind their business unless provoked.

In general, studying closely the animal associations with our nakshatras allow us to understand ourselves further and seeing the connections we have with the animal kingdom + nature. Hope this was a fun read! I'll continue with these similar insights.

If you'd like to learn further about the associations and special connection to specific animals you might have, check out my "The Animal Within" service!

[covid-safer-hotties]

Long COVID patients have similar brain activity to those with dementia, UK researchers find - Published Sept 10, 2024

By: Kendall Staton

Some patients with COVID see similar brain changes to people with such neurodegenerative disorders as Alzheimer’s, according to University of Kentucky researchers.

As the COVID pandemic raged across the world in 2020, researchers came together to start better understanding the new disease. At UK, Yang Jiang, a professor in the Department of Behavioral Science, led a study digging into the long-term effects of the virus.

“We’re together trying to understand how the COVID virus goes from getting into the nose and the lung, to somehow affecting the heart and the brain,” she said.

“We think there may be a long COVID, which we still don’t totally understand. It’s likely a risk factor for other neurodegenerative diseases.”

Looking at the effects of long COVID, Jiang sought help from the UK Sanders Brown Center on Aging to better understand the lingering mental effects of the virus.

“They understand some of the neuroinflammatory processes and how oxygen and blood will go through the blood brain barrier and interact with the virus, and how that alters brain functions,” she said. “So we began to sort of put two sides of evidence together.”

Chris Norris, a professor in the Department of Pharmacology and Nutritional Sciences and researcher at the Sanders Brown Center, said they were able to find brain cells, called astrocytes, in people diagnosed with COVID reacting similarly to brain cells of people with neurodecline.

“(Astrocytes) regulate blood flow to the brain, they regulate the shuttling of metabolites from the blood to the neurons, they support synaptic connections in the brain. When astrocytes become reactive and inflamed, like they do in COVID, all of those things – the metabolism, the blood flow, the synaptic communication – are adversely affected,” he said.

Those same cells also affect blood flow. Alzheimer’s patients and long COVID patients could both experience decreased blood flow in the brain, said Bob Simpol, an assistant professor in the Department of Pharmacology and Nutritional Sciences and researcher at the Sanders Brown institute.

He called COVID a “risk factor” that could contribute to long-term cognitive impairment or neurodegeneration.

People experiencing inflammation of astrocytes will see symptoms like brain fog, lapses in memory or forgetting the name of common items. Norris said these symptoms go beyond misplacing your keys, to something more serious – like forgetting you had your keys to begin with.

The research also showed that the brains of people with long COVID had similar electroencephalography (EEG) patterns to people with dementia.

Jiang said EEG’s measure “brain age” by looking at the activity of brain waves.

“Our brain is active all the time, even when you’re resting and when you sleep. EEG can capture the synchronized neural activity at the scalp. So what we observed, in COVID-19 patients, is the same pattern we see in dementia patients, which is the brain literally slows down,” Jiang said.

A COVID diagnosis does not mean you have dementia. Instead, people who have been diagnosed with COVID should have their brain function checked regularly, to catch signs of deterioration early and promote intervention.

With early intervention, 40-60% of neurodegeneration symptoms are reversible, Jiang said. With this research, the team is pushing for patients who have had a COVID diagnosis to get regular neurological check-ups.

“You can now look at brain function pretty easily and non invasively with EEG, just as easily as taking your blood pressure or listening to your lungs,” Norris said.

“After your symptomatic, it may be a good idea to have your brain activity assessed.”

[ndrv3expert1]

Double Standards, Misogyny, and Bad Writing: A Deep Dive into Character Criticism

So, it's a common saying that no one's perfect. We all make mistakes. Some of which we remember at 3 a.m. when we're trying to sleep and think, "God, why did I do that?"

But since we, as a species, don’t consider ourselves perfect (well, most of us who keep our feet on the ground don’t think that), why shouldn't we hold our characters to the same standards?

Now, writing flawed characters? It’s good writing. It doesn’t even have to be a major flaw. Make them a procrastinator, make them unable to cook, etc. But we should give our characters flaws. We don’t want our characters to be two-dimensional. We want them to be complex, we want them to be interesting.

But some people, when female characters have flaws, they hate it. They’ll magnify these flaws and perpetually criticize them. But when a male character has flaws, suddenly, they're a complex, well-written character.

Like I said before with Kaito and Tenko very similar characters pretty similar flaws to some Tenko's flaws are magnified or talked about to large degree while Kaito's are pretty much ignored.

Not saying there's no valid reason to like or hate either of them.

Think of it like cutting out cookies. People put men in a bigger mold, so they have more room for mistakes, but they put women in a tight, rigid mold. Their expectations are too narrow. And this is just normalizing Mary Sue characters, which in my opinion, is bad writing. Perfect women with no flaws who just sit there, looking pretty, are counterpieces to the male characters. I don’t want to live in a world where writing Mary Sue characters is the norm because people hate flawed characters.

Writing flawed characters is good writing. Flaws make them interesting, relatable, and real. In fact, most people kin characters because of their flaws. But when female characters are constantly held to impossible standards, it’s not just unfair—it reflects a much bigger problem with how society views women.

It’s the same pattern we see when people complain that women in video games aren’t sexualized enough. Is that seriously all you’re playing for? If you can’t handle women with flaws, maybe the problem isn’t them. Maybe it’s you.

[magpod-confessions]

Ok this is a funky one i PROMISE I'm kot making it up. I do not listen to the magnus archives. I have friends who listen to the magnus archives. I simply have this strange affiliation with eyes which has become what I'm associated with. Eye necklace eye earring eye shapes bad them on my cloths themes Yada Yada I like eyes that's not my main point. This is so long but I feel I need to say it somewhere and I don't think yall will beleive me but I'm saying it anyway

I KEEP KNOWING THINGS ABOUT THW FUCKING PODCAST

I have a theory about what's happening thqt I'm subconsciously putting together pieces and not realizing it till it comes up and then I seem to MaGiCaLlY know. But deadass this keeps happening and my friends find it really funny whenever it happens and I don't know why It happens almost entirely with this podcast but it does and I'm trying to think through this logically without doing my normal thing where I take everything to the weirdest but MAN. my weird obsessed brain I'd having a riot. I've learned a decent amount about it to know why me knowing things about this podcast in particular is so especially coincidentally fitting especially considering my eye-sthetic and I know this sounds fake but I SWEWR TO TO THE EYES I'm not making this up

I think it might partially be that now said friends take anything that seem to be me "knowing" something even if it's a long shot and noticing it because we're sorta looking for it now but idk. I made a charicter almost exactly like one of the magnus protocol ones with similar abilities and the same name before the magnus protocol came out (I think I can actually find proof of this) I made a charidter incredibly similar to Gertrude which one of the friends pointed out and i joked about her being secretly alive and burning down the archives and then one came up later saying that that did happen. I've made jokes and said some random stuff that seemed (at least to friends again i don't really know) strangely referential. It's like I KNOW the podcast while not really knowing anything about it. It's weird

I would like to say I would fully embrace becoming some strange inhuman eye creature but I have to say this is more real and I'm probably not being targeted by funky eyes. Though one of the friends says I'm "so aligned she wouldent be suprised if the eye reached through the magnus archives into our world to grab me". Whih... hey I'll take it but from what I've seen eye peeps are depressed old English teacher soundin dudes who want everything orderly and I'm a chaotic hyper rainbow thing who wants everything weird as possible. I'm ready to be eyeified but-

In realistic terms what's happening? is this all some funky coincidence? Are we just looking for things now? Noticing barely visible patterns that wouldent be there if we weren't looking? Am I piecing things together unknowably? Is someone playing the podcast in my sleep? Should I just actually listen to the magnus archives? I want yalls thoughts cause again I dont listen and I'm just going off what my friends keep saying but they seem as questioning and amused about it as I am. Probably less actually but- you get it. So since you guys actually know the thing I'd be glad to hear your thoughts

.

[sleepless-dreams]

ON THIN ICE

summary: things seems to start to look up, a fragile sort of achievement

word count: 1,7k

₊⊹CHAPTER 4⊹₊

Owen takes me up on my offer.

It doesn’t matter that I’m losing sleep over stepping back onto the ice, this is for him. And if I’m doing this, I need to be prepared.

That’s why I dive into research, trying to find the best time slots for our training sessions. The main rink is open to the public only on weekends, and I don’t need to go take a look to know it’ll be packed. If Owen’s going to learn, we need space, and a crowded rink isn’t the place for it. So that option is quickly crossed out. The side halls that are used for practices are mostly booked out by sportsmen. After creating a spreadsheet cataloging every team’s practice schedule, I finally manage to find a few gaps.

On Tuesdays, there’s a two-hour window between an U11 hockey team’s practice and a preliminary figure skating session. A similar slot opens on Thursdays after Owen’s practice, and again on Sundays just before closing at six.

It takes me two weeks of careful planning to finalize everything and make sure Owen’s free during these windows.

The first time I take Owen for a session with me, it is a Tuesday afternoon. I dissociate the whole drive to the arena, trying to keep the thought at bay. I don't even realize I was spacing out after I parked until Owen knocks on the window to get my attention. He has already grabbed his stuff from the back.

I retrieve my own gear on autopilot. Every step I take in the arena’s direction tightens the knot in my stomach.

Everything I do is done without a single thought put into it. I walk into the arena, I pay for the entry and I walk into the changing rooms- all absentmindedly. That is until I unzip my bag.

My hands tremble and I realize I’ve been biting down on my lower lip. Owen is already halfway done with putting on his skates while I stare down at mine, willing myself to reach out and take them out of the bag. But I can't. My body is frozen up and I can't seem to move. There's a lump in my throat and I swallow in an attempt to push it down, but it just grows larger.

"Are you coming?" Owen asks, his voice snaps me out of my paralysis. I nod, not trusting myself to speak and finally wrap my fingers around the skates. Owen, meanwhile, disappears out of the changing room, going to already warm up.

I pull them out slowly, with measured movements. My mind is running a million miles per hour, memories flashing before my eyes. And I'm not even on the ice yet.

Sitting down on the bench and swapping my shoes for the skates is a slow process. It feels like if I do it too quickly, I'll disturb an invisible force that's holding me together.

The action of weaving the lace in the familiar pattern grounds me. I focus on the way the material feels against my fingers as it slips past.

I'm taking too long. Owen appears in the doorway again, a mildly impatient grimace twisting his features. "Auntie," he huffs.

"I'm coming," I reply, trying for a somewhat convincing smile. I don't want him to worry about me. He doesn't know why I quit figure skating, just that it wasn't because I wanted to focus on my studies or something similar.

My knees feel wobbly even before I stand up on the pair of twin blades. My stance shifts naturally to accommodate the instability, and it brings a faint, fleeting sense of familiarity.

If the walk to the hall was awful, the walk down the hall toward the rink is even worse. Stepping onto the mats that cover the floor to protect the blades makes me feel like I'm walking across shifting ground. The chill that hits me after I open the door to the rink immediately sets into my bones.

I waddle over to the gate, the dull sound of Owen's skates sliding across the frozen water rings in my ears. I take a step forward and suddenly, I'm halfway on the ice. I bring my other leg after me.

I'm standing on the ice for the first time in years, and my world stops. Everything fades into the background. All that's left is the picture of my skate-clad feet on pale blue ice.

I don't move. I can't move. Just like I couldn't back in the changing rooms.

But the ice doesn't break. It doesn't swallow me whole. It waits. Unchanging, unforgiving.

I force myself to move despite the feeling that's digging its claws into me. The movement is tentative at first- a short glide forward.

I thought I forgot how to do this. Or maybe, I hoped I did. But despite it being sloppy, skating still comes to me naturally even after all this time. The skill has deteriorated; it's not as smooth and polished as it used to be, but I could never forget how to do it. It's engraved into my brain and into my body. The muscles remember what to do, even if my mind doesn't want to.

I stay by the boards the whole time, mainly standing around. I try to resist gliding, but strangely, I find myself drifting around the spot I picked out without much of a thought. The moment I realize what I'm doing, anger bubbles up and I force myself to stand still again, redirecting my attention back to Owen as I call out my next instructions.

Every session after that looks pretty much the same, but my skates find the ice more often than I intend. I don't always realize when I've started carving shapes into the surface, smooth lines and lazy arcs drawn without thought or shift from a stationary position. When I do notice, though, the shame hits sharp and sudden, like ice splintering under pressure. It stays with me through the night, heavy in my chest, refusing to let me fall asleep as the shadow of my failure hangs over me, cold and unrelenting.

Sometimes, when the weight of it all gets too heavy, I find myself crafting excuse after excuse as to why I can't keep this arrangement up. But the thought of quitting leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and the guilt that gnaws at me regarding this outweighs anything other than I feel. Every excuse capsizes under the memory of Owen's face lighting up when I praise him. That self-satisfied grin, the spark of pride in his eyes… It anchors me, pulling me back every single time.

The progress is gradual, it's a long process, but first signs of improvement start to show after a few weeks. They're small things, subtle, but they make a difference. Owen's posture has improved quite a bit and his footwork is getting better too.

By early November Owen's progress starts to reflect in the practices enough to be noticeable. I am proud of him and I share his joy.

I notice changes in myself too. I used to perch high up on the bleachers, far away enough that the chill of the rink couldn't quite reach me. Now, I linger by the boards, close enough to hear the scrape of the skates carving into the ice.

Sometimes, when the air gets too heavy, I still pull out my phone, my thumb scrolling mindlessly- a lifeline or a shield. But more often than not, my eyes stay on my nephew, tracking his movements across the rink.

I’m lingering by the boards again today, my fingers curled loosely around the cold metal edge. Coach Maximoff has split the boys into two teams for another mock match. It’s much more balanced than it was on that day when I offered Owen my help. The hard work is showing, it’s there in Owen’s sharp turns and confident glides. A grin tugs at my lips before I can stop it.

Owen's team loses the match, but despite that, he managed to put up good chase and take the puck from the enemy team a few times.

When Owen gets off the ice, I raise my hand for a fist bump. It's a little ritual we adopted during our sessions, my way of reminding him that he's doing a good job. His gloved hand bumps mine with a huge smile on his face.

I return it easily, reaching over to ruffle his sweaty hair. He playfully swats my hand away, muttering that he's going to go change.

I really am proud of him, I think to myself as I watch him disappear down the hallway.

"He improved quite a bit in the last month. I'm positively surprised." Wanda remarks from behind me.

I turn, finding her leaning casually against the boards, thermos in hand and a lazy smile on her face.

"He has, hasn't he?" I agree, trying to keep my voice light, even as something stirs uncomfortably in my chest.

"I haven’t seen many such rapid improvements. Has he been training outside of our practices?" she asks, tilting her head slightly, eyes sharp with curiosity as she takes a sip from whatever beverage she has in the thermos.

I hesitate, searching for the right balance between honesty and self-preservation.

"I’ve been taking him to the rink from time to time," I admit, keeping the answer deliberately vague. I don’t want her -or anyone, really- prying into what Owen and I have been doing. It’s not that I’m ashamed of helping him. It’s just... if people start asking questions, they may dig too deep. They’ll ask if I have experience skating, and that’s not a story I’m ready to tell.

Wanda regards me for a moment, and I can’t shake the feeling that she sees right through me, even if I know that’s not true.

"Well. Whatever it is you two are doing, it's working out." she says with a shrug, but her eyes glint with something warmer- something softer. Something like approval.

It’s such a simple thing, really; a few words, a slight smile. But it hits me square in the chest, knocks something loose inside me. Pride unfurls like a small flame, hesitant at first, but warming.

Up until now, it’s been easy to feel proud for Owen, but Wanda’s words feel like they’re aimed at both of us. For the first time, I let myself hold onto that, let myself own a piece of that pride.

Wanda’s words feel like a gentle nudge, like she’s offering me permission to step into the spotlight- just for a moment.

It feels... nice. A little foreign, a little fragile. But nice.

[dee-writes-angst]

Mismatched Eyes Of Fire

SUMMARY It's your first day at UA, everyone you've met has seemed genuine (with the exception of Bakugo), though one person stands out against the rest, a boy with a similar fire in his eyes that you had seen in Tenko.

CONTENT WARNINGS death, depictions of homeless children, mentions of abuse, loss, memorial shrines, and grief. For the sake of the series (and my conscience), all characters are aged up while still following the plot of MHA. In other words, think of UA as a college rather a high school.

AUTHORS NOTE three consistent updates in a row?! Look at me go, guys!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Eraserhead was eerily quiet as he led you through the halls of the school you could now call home. The hallways were a labyrinth of polished floors and sleek walls adorned with inspiring posters of pro heroes. As you followed, you couldn't help but notice the grandeur of UA: high ceilings, bright lighting, and a sense of history embedded in the very walls. The hallways buzzed with energy, the chatter of students mingling with the occasional announcement over the PA system. You walked up several steps and took even more turns before arriving at a pair of grand wooden doors with a small plaque that read "Principal Nezu."

Before opening the door, Eraserhead introduced himself as Mr. Aizawa and asked that you address him as such unless out on missions. You readily agreed, feeling a wave of gratitude toward your new teacher for sticking his neck out to help you find better sleep arrangements than the cold, dirty concrete you had been sleeping on.

Aizawa had you wait outside Principal Nezu’s office for what felt like hours as he shared your situation behind closed doors. The minutes dragged on, feeling like an eternity as you rocked back and forth on your feet, growing more anxious about the whole housing ordeal. Yes, you were now a student at UA, but the school’s dorms were for general studies students and definitely cost more than you could ever dream to afford. You stared at the polished wooden door, tracing the intricate patterns in the wood grain with your eyes, trying to calm your nerves. The soft hum of voices behind the door was barely audible, adding to your anxiety as you waited.

When the doors finally swung open, Aizawa was accompanied by the mousy principal walking elegantly at his side. Nezu, though small in stature, exuded an air of authority and intelligence that was palpable. He looked you over contemplatively, taking stock of your body language and your tattered appearance with a simple hum and a nod toward Aizawa.

"I can see now what you are talking about," the principal said, his voice soft, unwavering, and detached, which you found more unsettling than comforting. "Excuse my manners, dear," he chuckled hauntingly. "My name is Nezu. I run this academy, and it has been brought to my attention that you have nowhere to stay comfortably while you are with us, is that correct?"

You immediately nodded, a harsh blush reddening your cheeks and neck. "Yes, sir," you managed to choke out, bowing respectfully.

"No need to be embarrassed. Do you mind if I ask some questions, out of personal curiosity?" Nezu wondered, Aizawa sending him a confused look.

"Of course," you stammered in response, looking between the two men (?).

"Do you have any family?" Nezu’s question was delivered as gently as the intellectual rodent could manage.

"No," you responded quickly, your throat burning with the need to weep at the reminder of your loss, of Tenko.

"Why are you here? What is it you wish to achieve in our hero academy?" Nezu continued, his black eyes gleaming with curiosity. When you let out a shaky breath, he immediately took a breath to reign himself in. "My apologies, I am used to having a good read on the people I meet, but you seem to be an enigma. I hope I didn’t offend you."

"No!" you responded quickly. "You didn’t, it’s just a sore subject," you paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I raised myself on the streets since I lost both my parents before I could remember them. I guess that loneliness and feeling of invisibility pushed me to want to be a hero. I want to help people feel seen, if that makes sense," you chuckled bashfully, rubbing your neck.

"Thank you for indulging me," the principal responded somewhat cheerily, waving a paw at Aizawa who was still standing at his side. "Mr. Aizawa will show you to your room. Also, I am personally going to pay for your tuition."

"I couldn’t," you immediately declined, your head spinning at his offer. "Having free board is enough. Seriously, I will get a job or something and pay it myself."

"Nonsense," Nezu smiled—or at least that’s what you thought he was doing. "Consider it a donation made in good faith. You will be a welcome star in our hero course this year. I don’t want you to worry about anything except for your training," Nezu nodded at Aizawa before giving you one last curious look and returning to his office. You thanked him hesitantly before the heavy doors closed.

"This way," Aizawa huffed, encouraging you to follow him back down the way you came.

The dorms at UA were gorgeous, towering buildings with each class’s numbers on them. Aizawa led you to one furthest from the rest of the dorms, the lettering above the building reading 1-A. It was the only building in the area aside from an identical building reading 1-B standing tall just opposite 1-A, separated by a wide cement walkway. The buildings looked newly constructed, with large windows that let in ample sunlight, making them look warm and inviting. The exterior was modern, with sleek lines and a blend of concrete and glass that gave it a sophisticated yet welcoming appearance.

As you approached the doors of the dorms, Aizawa stopped you. "Your room is the only complete one at the moment, fifth floor on the right in the middle. Also, here is a meal card. Just show it at the cafeteria when you get food, and you should have no trouble there."

"Thank you," you stammered in awe, taking the license-sized card colored in blue with the classic gold UA lettering on the front and a barcode on the back.

"The communal showers should be operating as well as the kitchen. If you find any issues, my room is on the first floor past the living room on the left," he added, opening the doors for both of you to enter. The lobby of the dorm was spacious and modern, with comfortable-looking furniture arranged around a large television. The walls were adorned with motivational posters and bulletin boards filled with various notices and announcements. There was a large communal area with plush couches, a few tables for studying or eating, and a game area complete with a pool table and several arcade machines.

"You should get your uniform sometime tonight or early tomorrow morning before classes start. As far as your hero costume goes, just submit your idea with any specifications to me before the week is up, and we’ll have the support department get it done for you."

"Sir, I don’t know what to say, this is all—I’m grateful," you breathed, desperately trying to keep your composure.

"All that we ask in return is that you do your best, plus ultra and all that," he rolled his eyes at himself, seemingly irritated that the school's moto had made its way past his lips. Rather than cringe, you were filled with a new sense of determination. You would not let these opportunities pass you by, and you would show everyone that all the effort and money they had put into you wasn’t in vain. You would earn every cent back by becoming the best.

"I will, sir," you bowed with a determined gleam in your eyes, causing your teacher’s lip to curl into an almost imperceptible smile—something you doubted happened often.

As Aizawa left, you took a moment to absorb your surroundings. The kitchen was state-of-the-art, with stainless steel appliances and a large island for communal cooking. You took the elevator up to the fifth floor, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. Your room was at the middle of the hall, just as Aizawa had described. When you opened the door, you were greeted by a simple but cozy space with a bed, a desk, and a small window overlooking the campus. The room was sparsely furnished but had a warmth to it, with soft lighting and neutral tones that made it feel welcoming. A small dresser was tucked into the corner, and a bookshelf stood next to the desk, waiting to be filled with your belongings.

Setting your backpack down, you took a deep breath. This was your new beginning. You had a place to stay, food to eat, and the opportunity to become a hero. For Tenko, and for yourself, you would give it everything you had.

Your uniform had arrived just like Aizawa said, with a note reminding you to submit your hero costume design by the end of the week. The uniform fit perfectly, a stark contrast to the ill-fitting clothes you'd been wearing. It felt strange to be in something so clean and well-tailored, almost like stepping into a new identity. You'd spent several nights working on your hero costume design, carefully considering every detail, particularly the need for ear protection. When you finally handed it to Aizawa, you made sure to emphasize this requirement.

Aizawa nodded, taking the paper from you. Then, he handed you some cash. "From Nezu. He said to go buy some new clothes with it, preferably ones that fit."

Your face flushed red at the comment as you glanced down at your too-short pants and too-tight top. "Thank you, sir," you responded meekly, taking the money without complaint. By this point, you understood that it was no use arguing with the principal about money or anything else he had provided for your comfort. With a grunt, Aizawa left you to your thoughts, walking back to his room in the complex.

Today was your first day of classes, your first opportunity to prove yourself. You hadn’t had time to go out and buy new clothes yet, between studying and preparing, so you were thankful for the mandatory uniforms. As you got ready, you marveled at the difference consistent showers, access to clean water, and regular meals had made. You felt rejuvenated, less tired, and it showed. The dirt streaks and stains were gone, your calloused hands were softer, and your body had filled out enough to hide your ribs. You were beyond grateful for the opportunities you had been given, the space to prepare for the next big step in your life. This was going to change the course of your life forever, and there was no going back.

You had a feeling that these small acts of care were influenced by Tenko beyond the grave. For some reason, being here, achieving both your dreams, made you feel close to him, more connected. It felt nice; you felt seen again, a feeling that only Tenko had ever been able to give you. On top of that, you had asked Aizawa if you could set up a memorial shrine for your long-lost friend, and he had given you no resistance. Now that you had the means, you could remember Tenko properly. Every night before bed, you would light a censer and share your day with your friend, hoping he could hear your call and share in some of your light the same way you shared in his.

As you walked through the dormitory halls, you noticed how the early morning sun filtered through the large windows, casting a warm glow on everything it touched. The hallways were still quiet, with only a few students up and about, but there was a palpable sense of excitement in the air. You made your way to the common area, where a few students were already gathering, most likely checking out newly finished dorms, their nervous chatter filling the space. Some of them glanced at you curiously, but you were too focused on your thoughts to pay them much attention.

Standing at the entrance of your classroom, 1-A, you took a deep breath and stepped inside. The room was spacious and filled with state-of-the-art equipment. The desks were arranged in a semi-circle, ensuring everyone had a good view of the front where a large digital board displayed today's date and the UA logo. You took a seat near the middle, trying to find a balance between being too close to the front and not wanting to be too far back.

As more students trickled in, you noticed a few familiar faces from the entrance exam. Kirishima, the boy who had saved you from being crushed by the robot, waved enthusiastically at you before taking a seat nearby. You smiled and waved back, feeling a bit more at ease knowing you had at least one friendly face in the class. The chatter around you grew louder, filled with excitement and anticipation for what the day would bring.

Finally, the door opened, and Aizawa walked in, his usual tired expression in place. He set his things down on the desk at the front of the room and scanned the class, his gaze stopping momentarily on you. You straightened up, meeting his eyes with determination.

"Welcome to your first day at UA High School," he began, his voice firm but quieting the room instantly. "I am Mr. Aizawa, your homeroom teacher. We have a lot to cover, so let's get started."

By the time lunch rolled around, you were pretty familiar with most of your classmates. Mina, the fluffy pink-haired girl who had talked your ear off before the entrance exam, was still a ball of energy. When she noticed you seated next to Kirishima, she squealed, skipping over to you to start a conversation, with the rest of her group following along. Mina's exuberance was infectious, and you couldn't help but smile as she animatedly introduced her friends.

Hagakure, the invisible girl, nearly matched Mina’s enthusiasm. Her cheerful voice was easy to recognize, and she greeted you warmly. Ochaco introduced herself as Uraraka with a sweet smile and a polite bow, her presence gentle and kind. Jiro gave you a bored once-over before turning back to her conversation with a girl named Yaoyorozu, who introduced herself with a composed and confident demeanor. Yaoyorozu's authoritative aura suggested she would make a good leader.

Finally, a small girl named Asui waved hello, her expression wise and calm. She insisted on being called Tsu, and you were happy to oblige. Her serene demeanor was a calming influence amidst the lively group.

During a break between subjects, you met Shoji, Sato, and Koda. They were all kindhearted and easy to talk to when they did speak. Shoji's multi-armed form was imposing yet gentle, Sato's muscular build was contrasted by his soft-spoken nature, and Koda's connection with animals was endearing.

Ojiro introduced himself after you almost tripped over his tail. He chuckled, catching you by your arm with a crooked smile and a soft apology. His calm and composed demeanor made you feel at ease.

Kirishima introduced you to Kaminari, whom you had started to hope for a friendship with. Kaminari was actually really funny, but it seemed he was more focused on cracking jokes and making friends than on learning. You liked Kaminari, but you preferred Kirishima's grounded nature. Kirishima was just as kind as the day you met him at the entrance exam.

You introduced yourself to Tokoyami, who was hiding in a dark corner of the classroom, looking grossed out by something the short purple-haired guy had said. Tokoyami's brooding presence was intriguing, and you found his straightforwardness refreshing. Soon after, you had the displeasure of running into Mineta, the short purple-haired guy. You quickly understood why Tokoyami had made a weird face; Mineta was a perv.

You recognized Iida as the kid who asked the only question at the entrance exam. Turns out he wasn’t stuck up; he was just very particular about rules and guidelines. At least he seemed dedicated to his education, and you thought he could make a good leader if he learned to be more accepting of others' faults. Sero was talking with Iida at the time, so you were introduced to him as well. Sero's laid-back attitude was a nice contrast to Iida's strictness.

Aoyama was just sitting at his desk "sparkling," so you didn’t really have the opportunity to talk to him, but at least he was better than Bakugo, who was straight up unapproachable. In fact, Bakugo tried to yell at you when he bumped shoulders with you on the way to his desk, which led to the only acceptable response: you getting right back in his face and calling him out.

"You’re the one who ran into me!" you scoffed, sending an apologetic look toward the group of girls you were mingling with. They all stood stock still in shock at your response. The entire classroom had gone silent, seemingly holding their breaths for Bakugo's reaction.

"Weren’t you the idiot that was the closest to my score?" he huffed, glaring at you.

"Yes," you said confidently, throwing daggers with your eyes in his direction. Bakugo seemed unfazed, just as you were of him.

"You better get ready, I’ll kill you on the mats later!" Bakugo yelled, a sinister smile curving his lips as small licks of orange crackled from his palms. You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the pathetic threat.

"We’ll see," you hummed before turning back to your conversation as if nothing had happened. Being ignored seemed to only piss Bakugo off more, but he held his tongue and sat down.

That led you to now, walking through the lunch line at the cafeteria, gathering your food card in hand as you paid for your mapo tofu and a side of rice. The aroma of the spicy tofu dish made your stomach growl in anticipation. You had run into a green-haired kid when initially getting into line. He was one of the students you hadn’t had a chance to meet before class started. His name was Midoriya, and he was incredibly sweet and friendly. The two of you chatted up a storm while in line, sharing your mutual excitement about being at UA and your dreams of becoming heroes. Midoriya's enthusiasm and genuine kindness made you feel even more welcome at UA, and you were grateful to have met someone who shared your passion for heroism.

As you made your way through the bustling cafeteria, the aroma of various dishes wafting through the air, you balanced your tray carefully. The cafeteria was abuzz with the lively chatter of students, the clatter of utensils, and the hum of excitement as everyone shared their morning experiences.

You navigated through the maze of tables, searching for an empty spot, when you suddenly collided with someone, causing your tray to wobble precariously. Your mapo tofu and rice threatened to spill over the edges as you quickly tried to steady it.

"I'm so sorry!" you exclaimed, looking up to see who you'd run into. Standing before you was a tall boy with strikingly mismatched features. His hair was split down the middle, one side white as snow and the other a deep crimson red. His eyes mirrored this dichotomy, one a cool, icy blue and the other a warm, fiery gray. There was something about his eyes that reminded you so clearly of Tenko, that same fire you thought, though it was also entirely different. This boys fire perplexed you, sure it held plenty of anger and hatred, but it seemed a lot softer than Tenko’s, more controlled.

"It's fine," he responded calmly, his voice steady and composed. His expression was stoic, almost indifferent, but his eyes held a depth that hinted at a complicated past. "I should have been more careful."

You felt a flush of embarrassment creep up your neck. "No, really, it's my fault. I wasn't paying attention."

The boy studied you for a moment, his gaze intense yet not unkind. "I'm Shoto Todoroki," he introduced himself, his voice devoid of any irritation.

You gave a small, nervous smile, introducing yourself as well. "Nice to meet you, Todoroki."

Todoroki nodded slightly, his eyes flicking to your tray. "You might want to find a seat before your lunch ends up on the floor."

You laughed softly, the tension easing a bit. "Good point. Do you have a seat already?"

He glanced around the cafeteria, then shook his head. "No, I don't. You can join me if you'd like."

Surprised by the offer, you nodded eagerly. "Sure, that would be great."

The two of you found an empty table near a window, the natural light casting a soft glow over your meals. As you settled down, you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. Todoroki's presence was imposing yet strangely comforting.

"So, you're in Class 1-A too?" you asked, trying to make conversation as you began eating your mapo tofu.

"Yes," he replied simply, taking a bite of his own lunch. "I saw you during the entrance exam. Your quirk is… interesting."

You chuckled lightly, a bit embarrassed by the attention. "Thanks. It's called Dissonance. I can influence actions and thoughts with my singing."

Todoroki raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "That's a powerful ability. Have you been training with it for long?"

You nodded, grateful for the interest. "Yeah, I've had to learn to control it and not overuse it. It can be pretty dangerous if I'm not careful."

He seemed to ponder this for a moment, then nodded. "It's important to know your limits. My quirk has its own challenges too."

You glanced at him curiously, waiting for him to elaborate. When he didn't, you decided to ask. "What about your quirk? It's pretty unique too, right? Though I don’t remeber ever seeing you at the entrance exam."

Todoroki's expression remained neutral, but you could see a flicker of something—perhaps hesitation or discomfort. "I got in through recommendation, I only saw you that day because I happened to step into the analysis room when you were using your quirk. As far as my quirk goes, I have control over both fire and ice," he explained, his tone even. "But I only use my ice side."

You tilted your head, sensing there was more to the story, but you decided not to press. "That's impressive. It must be difficult to balance both elements."

"It can be," he admitted, his gaze distant for a moment before returning to you. "But it's something I have to learn to manage."

The conversation flowed more easily after that, and you found yourself genuinely enjoying Todoroki's company. Despite his initial aloofness, there was a quiet strength and determination about him that you respected. As you finished your lunch, you felt a sense of camaraderie with him, a shared understanding of the challenges you both faced in mastering your quirks and pursuing your dreams at UA.

[wu-sisyphus-gang]

9 days of lancaster day 7: Tensions

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It was eerie, camping in the town square. By their very nature search and rescue operations don’t try and hide at all, can’t, even. It set my teeth on edge, but it was necessary.

“We’ll be training a little too, but we’ll try and keep it down.” I let Ren know. He was scrapping some dinner together and some other meals. We'd found perishables that the bandits hadn’t bothered to take and would literally rot if we didn’t eat them.

Ruby had wondered if that made us better than the bandits but together the three of us convinced her otherwise.

From, “you can’t give it to anyone.”

To, “you can’t save it for later.”

And fervently, “all this in all these empty houses will be rat food if we don’t eat it now.”

She gave in but didn’t eat much.

She was stressed, they all were. Especially considering how far we just got set back in terms of our travel time. Money really wasn’t an issue. Huntsmen could make a living anywhere and with communication down…

With communication down the law of the land in most places was whatever the guy with the most fighting power said it was. Who were you going to call and how were you going to call them and what would they do by the time they finally arrived to do something, if they ever came at all?

Huntsmen will have even fewer problems making money anywhere. Perhaps too few.

I set another log on the campfire. There was a flare of sparks and the fire snapped a few times at me. I stared at them like the patterns they made would reveal something to me but there was nothing at all.

Nora was already turned away from the dim light in her sleeping bag. Ren being emotional had evidently exhausted her beyond her energy.

Ruby had found a clearing she liked as we’d set up camp and I followed her there now from the campsite. I hadn’t bothered to take my armor off at any point. I needed to get used to it and I’d do it by wearing it sixteen hours a day, more, probably.

“You’ll probably need a whole new fighting style, I mean, have you ever practiced with a broadsword?” She chatted as we walked.

“I haven’t but a sword is a sword.” What’s so hard to understand about swish-swish-stab? A lot, to be honest. “I’ll be able to figure it out.”

“I know some of my uncle’s moves.” Ruby continued. “Would they help?”

“I’m bad enough that they literally couldn’t make me worse.”

She looked like she wanted to hit me for that but couldn’t because she was about to hit me anyway.

I stared at her from the side, watching her pink lips move out of the corner of my eyes. She reached up while she was talking and brushed her short red and black hair over her ear with one hand.

She was building up contained excitement like a diesel engine getting warmed up and I had to smile. Once she started talking it released like a wave and I found myself nodding and listening along as she carried on the better part of three conversations at once.

 “A lot of his moves are horizontal, it’s hard to swing a sword that big upwards. The ground gets in the way. His most powerful attacks are usually ones that come downwards, though, using gravity. His weapon is different, you know?” I did, I was confident she’d told me, at least. I’d hear it again, though. "It’s a broadsword with a similar scale to yours but also turns into a scythe, and, unlike yours, it has a gun too.” She looked at me to make sure I was listening. I was entranced with her lecture.

"It’s actually a lot more complicated than yours but you’ve always been simple," she continued.

I agreed so, I nodded.

“I don’t mean simple like that. I mean simple like- well, you know.”

I did, so I nodded.

“But every person is like that, everybody is unique.”

“-what?”

 “Weapon!” She corrected herself a tad-little loud. “Every weapon is like that.” She glanced at me.

She dared me to call her out.

I couldn’t possibly.

“I really don’t know much about fight with shields, though, I’m sorry I won’t be more help. But like I said, swing downwards instead of upwards and it’ll help.”

I grimaced. If I swung the broadsword down, I’d need to lift it up again. It seemed obvious but the thing was heavy now. I’d need to do it as little as possible to conserve energy.

I watched her spin away from me into the clearing.

It took me a second to realize she was waiting for me and I stepped opposite her and drew the broadsword from my back.

Ruby’s scythe extended and she reversed her grip on it, holding the weapon behind her back. I didn’t think for one second it was an opening. I couldn’t cross the distance between us before she would move.

Still, I knew if she were willing to spend ammunition on a sparring match, then I would be the one forced to approach. In the spirit of that I charged at her anyway.

I committed to an attack with Crocea Mors, swinging from my shoulder down at her. She danced out of the way, her footwork was tight and fast. She was able to stay just out of my range, dipping in to slice across my breastplate with her scythe before I could bring my weapon around again.

It was enough to buffet it and I was encouraged further to back up when she rolled the scythe around her body in an upwards diagonal arc.

It wasn’t where I wanted to be, backing up was so much worse than side stepping. On the back-foot your opponent could charge and stand and fight you.

Pyrrha had hammered that into me none-too gently. Sometimes she used her shield as the hammer.

Sometimes she hadn’t.

Ruby stepped with me, staying inside where I would feel comfortable with the sword.

I lashed out with my foot in a clumsy kick, balancing the sword’s weight with my own mass and all my armor on just one leg with little practice. The kick flat out missed and Ruby had the good grace not to laugh. She did catch the leg I was left standing on with her scythe and yank me off my feet.

I felt myself whirl through the air and land flat on my back.

“Sorry Jaune.” She smiled down at me sheepishly. I couldn't be mad at that.

I got to my feet shaking my head. “I’ll get over it. I’m not afraid of looking like an idiot.” I leveled the broadsword at her. “I still have plenty of aura for you to beat out of me.”

She took that as a sign to continue and this time she rushed me.

I sidestepped lashing out with Crocea Mors into the space I had just occupied. It collided with Crescent Rose’s barrel with a heavy metallic clank. The weight was enough to stop Ruby’s momentum and she squealed adorably as she strained against it and the noise she made was enough to distract me a little.

She retreated spinning the crescent behind her, before she reversed again, rotating once more towards me in whirlwind of red and steel.

“How are you not getting dizzy?” I implored.

She giggled at me for that like I was just being just so extra silly when I truly did want answers. It sometimes felt like I could barely stand up without my head spinning and here she was like a top.

I raised Crocea Mors and blocked the blade of Ruby’s scythe with a grunt. I turned my wrists to block her next attack when she came around the other side.

I like to say my efforts impeded her but really she just hit me three times anyway.

Her blade swept across my stomach, glancing off my armor. I threw out Crocea Mors to try and gain some space, but she simply stepped back then back in and hit me hard in the side of the head with the back of Crescent Rose.

I stumbled back but she was all over me sweeping her blade towards me and chipping away at my aura. I grunted lowering Crocea Mors to defend once again. I blocked then thrust my blade out and swung it upward, Ruby easily dodged the thrust but wasn’t ready for me to continue my assault. I rushed forward. She jumped, elegantly dodging the attack with her semblance and a flare of red petals.

She flowed to my right like water before she zipped to the left with vanishing speed and seemed to hit me from behind as her scythe extended to a nearly impossible range. She threw me off balance. Her scythe was a spinning blade of death that sunk deep into my aura, shredding away chunks of it. I stepped back like I was going to retreat but I whipped the blade out and I clipped her side.

She rolled with the attack to the ground to avoid me chasing her, but I had stopped.

The sword made a meaty noise when it hit her, it was the first time I’d hit anybody or anything with it and I immediately regretted how hard I had swung it and that its first target was Ruby besides.

We were just training, and it wasn’t like she was out here swinging to hurt me. I winced slightly. She looked a little winded. Her hand dropped down a little. I shouldn’t just be throwing out haymakers at her.

Duh, Jaune, what a way to say thank you.

Her body shimmered with soft red light as she recovered, getting to her feet. I let her rise unassailed; in a real fight I’d be all over her; I wasn’t above hitting someone while they were down, after all, the world had no problems doing it to me, but this was just training.

“Are you alright?" I asked, my eyes roved her body, looking for any sign of injury. Her hand rose from where I had hit her, and she nodded.

I was sure Ruby could go toe to toe with nearly anyone, I’d seen her fight Yang and Pyrrha. But my sword weighed as much as either of them did, soaking wet in full gear. And unlike a potential Yang based weapon, Crocea Mors had all of that force condensed into a tight blade.

Ruby’s own weapon was spindly in comparison and for a moment I wasn’t totally sure that I wouldn’t crack her barrel in half if I came down really hard on it.

“I’m fine. That hurt, though, you’ve gotten stronger.”

“It's the new sword, it’s heavier,” I dismissed. “It’s easy to hit things hard with a giant sheet of metal.”

“Well, I’m sure that's true, too.”

I continued to look her over. I was thinking about her hit and run fighting style.

That old big kicker-why?

Why did she bother retreating when she was so strong? It wasn’t just a fighting style preference. I was beginning to suspect that she needed to. She needed to dodge rather than block and she couldn’t afford to tank hits like I could.

She wasn’t weak - it was impossible to think that, really. It was honestly weird to think about her as fragile, too, even with the evidence right in my face.

“How am I doing so far,” I managed between pants.

I decided I would give her a moment to catch her breath, if she needed it. It looked like I had knocked the wind out of her, even through her Aura.

“You need to move more, you stand too still.” It was familiar advice, and it brought me back to rooftop training sessions with another redhead. I changed tracks, not wanting to think about Pyrrha right now.

Thinking about Pyrrha only made me want to train. I wanted to train and fight until I was strong enough to kill Cinder.

It was fucking bullshit that Cinder got to walk around while I didn’t even get to bury Pyrrha. I shook my head, thoughts of revenge clearing. I had a long way to go until I could hold a candle to the woman who killed my partner.

Besides I was training now, I couldn’t be more training than I currently was.

“Well it’s hard to keep up with you in terms of movement,” I deflected but made it clear I agreed. Standing rooted like a tree would only serve to cost me precious aura. Plus, now I had two sources telling me to get my ass in gear and move around the battlefield. Not that I’d ever ignored Pyrrha’s advice but sometimes lessons took a while to stick.

We started again.

I slashed two wide arcs at Ruby, and she ducked under one and deflected the other. The large sword wasn’t cutting it for me right now, but the point was to train with the new form. My movements were telegraphed with the broadsword, much more so than with the bastard sword and the shield would also allow me to defend myself from her wild slashes better, but the point of training right now was to learn how to use the new length to my advantage. It was not necessarily to use the best weapon for the situation.

She hit me twice with Crescent Rose before I felt the blade swing around me. She traded places with it, swinging me and herself in a sort of orbit connected by her weapon. She brought me around in a wide arc before she used a tree to halt her moment and mine. I could only watch as Ruby effectively pulled the blade towards her and through my aura.

It clotheslined me hard into the ground and made a loud gonging noise as it her blade dinged off my freshly polished armor. I lay there on the ground with my chest flashed with soft golden light as my aura flickered. Ruby seemed to realize that I’d had enough and stepped back, folding her scythe behind her back as she did.

I tried to rub my chest through my armor for a moment before managing to puzzle together that it wasn’t helping. Even through the protection granted by my soul and armor it was enough to sting.

I sat up and just tried to focus on breathing.

Ruby sat down next to me. Plopping down in her skirt with practiced ease.

“Was it really okay to re-forge Pyrrha’s weapons like that?” Ruby asked. “I know I sort of talked you into this. I didn’t mean to make you do something you might regret.”

I understood the sentiment immediately, but this felt right.

“Her sword was in pieces and it would only have served as a reminder that she wasn’t actually invincible,” I began. It wasn’t like I hadn’t thought about it. “And I’m sure that she would be fine with me using her shield to defend myself, too. And you know there’s going to be something satisfying about killing Cinder with a weapon reinforced with the one she broke.” I chuckled lightly at the morose thought.

“Well, I guess it’s okay, then?” She struggled to find something to say after that. “I’m sure you’re right.”

We sat quietly together in the forest lit by moonlight. It wasn’t a full moon, like the night before, but still plenty bright.

“Jaune…” She trailed off.

“Yeah?” I answered anyway, ignoring her hesitation.

“About Pyrrha…” She pressed on.

“What about her?” I could talk about her, with Ruby of all people, at least. I didn’t particularly want to, but I would.

“Did you and her ever…”

“No, we didn’t. I didn’t know until it was too late.”

“Oh.”

I realized my fingers were brushing my lips. The rough material of my gauntlets was nothing like Pyrrha’s lips and my fingers tasted like sweat and grime.

So soft.

I remembered the way she’d kissed me before she left. It had been desperate but with a certain finality. She’d known she was sending her valedictions to me at the time.

I’d known too.

“She was a really good friend...”

“The best.” I agreed readily. I wasn’t sure where she was going with this.

“Would you have?” She grimaced looking pained. “Sorry.”

“I don’t know. Alright? I really have no idea. I don’t get to know.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Ruby slipped into silence and I watched her fight herself again for a long minute. “But she wouldn’t want you fighting Cinder.”

“Well of course not.” Hell, the last thing she’d done was push me into a locker and not give me the choice of dying with her. Which I wasn’t bitter about at all. “But that doesn’t change how I feel. So, I’m still going to.”

“But…” She trailed. Her concern was like a fire, it flickered out towards me but there was nothing for it to catch onto. I was already burnt down inside.

“Hey look.” I pulled my sword over to where we sat. “You wanted to see how the mechanism works, right?” Anything for a change in subject, literally anything. It was weak but Ruby seemed to understand.

She just nodded and listened while I went over the weapon with her. I could tell that she remembered how the mechanism worked part of the way through his explanation, she’d helped design it, after all. She just needed the refresher, but that was it.

I explained all of it anyway.

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