#like the whole point in how much I study different body types is to make people feel represented and valid and happy

[emry-stars-art]

Hi i love your fat Andrew art insanely much. It's so cool. It helps me feel valid.

[obey-me-disaster]

Hey there! How’s it going? If I may, can I request some headcaons on the obey me brothers trying to seduce MC? Please and thank you!

These guys have to literally take a 'seductive speechcraft' class at RAD, in theory they should be good at seducing, in practice not so much

Warning: slightly NSFW

Obey me brothers trying to seduce MC

Lucifer

He keeps it simple. He doesn't see the point of doing complicated mind games when he knows that MC will choose him. That's not to say he won't try to win MC over or make them feel special.

Between Lucifer encouraging MC to be bolder when it comes to their advances and his confidence there isn't anything that could go wrong, in his mind at least.

He is often assertive in a way that would make MC feel like being swooped off their feet while still leaving room for them to refuse. He will make sure they know he will take care of all of their desires.

He often invites them over, either to his study room or the music room to spend some time alone together where he can be more forward.

Mammon

Mammon is really smooth when it comes to flirting and seducing, just not when it comes to MC.

He is too caught up between being a tsundure and just being genuinely worried about making them uncomfortable by being too forward. Still, after a while he will get over some of his worries, he is MC's first man after all!

He is one of the most sought after models in the entire Devildom, he knows how to use his looks in his favour and how to get people's attention, especially MC's.

With how much time he spends with them, Mammon knows how to make MC feel like they are the only person that matters to him and to make them think about only him.

That also includes what words to say and in what way too touch them. Still, he always leaves it up to MC to decide if they want to take it further. He will let them take control so they could go at their own pace.

Leviathan

Tries to think of it like MC is a love interest in a video game, otherwise he would never be able to do it.

Tries to kabedon MC and it works at first, until he realizes how close the two of them are and panics.

Depending on the MC, his cringefail personality and being borderline pathetic and endearing at the same time would probably do the trick and seduce them imeanitworkedonme

Still, he has his moments where he can be more dominant! Especially if it would be in a virtual world, where he is more in his element. Sure, he would still be nervous but he would actually manage to flirt with MC.

To add to the previous point, he actually did that in a devilgram, where he lowered one of the sits in the car and told MC he could be in charge too.

Also I am sure he has at least 3 slutty cosplays. All he needs is a little bit of courage and he could use them.

Satan

A really by the book approach, the type of thing you would see in books. He has a lot of connections but most of them were not made by seducing other demons.

His attempts would be a bit awkward at first, feeling a little bit too stiff, but after observing to what MC responds the best he will start to get better at it.

Does MC respond better to words? Well he doesn't have high grades in seductive speechcraft for nothing. He knows how to get MC wrapped around his finger. Starting from innocent remarks to comments that would leave MC's imagination run wild.

Do they like physical touches more? He may be a little bit more awkward but nothing that MC would notice.

He is probably experimenting with new feelings too, cause seducing MC, someone he actually fell for, is way more different than his normal seductive speechcraft.

Asmodeus

Literally the best, that's his whole thing. Sure he has his eyes to help him, but he has been a lust demon for a long time, he knows how to seduce someone without magic. And like Mammon, he knows how to use his body to get other people's attention towards him and his body.

Has the best combination of lingering touches that just leave you wanting for more and of words the can be left up for interpretation, really making MC think that they want Asmo even without all the seduction.

He knows just from looking at MC's slightest change of reactions when to stop or when to push forward. He knows how far he can go with exploring their body without ruining the sexual tension. He would get them so riled up that MC would be the one initiating anything. In his mind he is just giving them a little push.

He also loves to tease them throughout the day only to disappear, leaving them wanting for more. He doesn't need to even see to know that he is all they can think about.

Beelzebub

I will be sincere, I don't think he really knows how to seduce people in the traditional sense. He would probably seduce MC by accident.

He would just call them in order to record his workout routine and when MC would get there he would be shirtless and sweaty, and they would have to sit behind a camera filming a shirtless Beel literally flexing his muscle

He would also lick food right off MC if they happened to drop some on themself. He literally licked wiped cream off MC's fingers in season 2.

He does all of these things by accident, and while he may be oblivious and not the best at seducing he isn't dumb. He will see how MC reacts and will start doing these things more often.

He would probably make them help him with his workout so MC could really get close to him to see and touch his muscles. post work out sex I am just saying

Belphegor

He really takes advantage off all the time cuddling with MC to see how far he can go when it comes to touching them, while still making sure they are comfortable.

It starts either with a hug from behind when MC is doing something else or with simple cuddles. His hands will start to wonder just slightly under their shirt or just barely over their thighs all while trying too see their reaction.

Everything he would say would be done so either with his face in the crook of their neck or as a whisper near MC's ear. It probably just be normal stuff at first, but the more he sees MC get into it the more he will start going about what he would actually want to do with them.

It's a really slow process but the little shit knows how to use his words and from what started as innocent cuddles it leads to MC doing nearly whatever he wants.

I also feel like he would go into their dreams and try to seduce them there too. This would led to MC having to seek Belphie out once they wake up from that dream.

[shaisuki]

Could I request Kaiser with reader. The two of them are partners for a project when he offers her a brownie he made, (one that he drugged), she was hesitant but took it, once she felt a little intoxicated, he took advantage of her, despite her trying to push him off, her state made her weaker and unable to push him off as he did what he wanted with her. At the end, he blackmailed her with the recording he took of him taking advantage of her

contested cravings

PAIRING. MICHAEL KAISER X CHUBBY READER

CONTENT WARNINGS. noncon + drugging, nonconsensual recording + groping and touching + kissing + blackmail + sabotage + penetrative sex + manipulation + cunnilingus.

SYNOPSIS. michael's is the bad news with his good looks and talent and the reason why you avoided him.

class projects aren't bad not until you're paired with michael kaiser. the school's star athlete and the resident asshole if you must add. have a bad habit of belittling others that pisses most of the whole student body and only hangs out with alexis ness. whom may have developed an unhealthy obsession with the school's golden boy. following him like a lost pup and would skedaddle if kaiser shooed him off.

you found the dynamic between them unsettling and how could ness accepted being treated like that. you guess is just how they express their feeling or to make the other feel good about themselves and you kind of really don't care, not when michael is your partner. his blonde hair is streaked with baby blue highlights on the tips and that haircut that suits him.

you instantly averted your gaze when you see him walking towards you and pretends that you didn't notice him. feigning interest in a book that you have read over and over.

“at my place?” he asks, smoothing his blonde locks. “s-sure.” you answered him. a little worriedly than you have liked and it looks like you were hesitant and regretting your action towards him.

michael paid it no mind. people acted around him like he was a real total assholes and he is and you were no different from the reactions people have shown him. he just gave you a smile and left you to your own devices.

of course, he have a room for himself. he's the school's star athlete and it comes with privilege including personal spaces. you texted him earlier and there he is. opening his door for you to come in. you gave him a curt greeting. “can we start now?” you asked him. the sooner this project is done the better. you really don't want to be alone with michael. “does my presence annoys you that much?” he smirks, eyeing you in such lazy manner that your eyes widen at what he was saying. kaiser chuckles at your reaction. “just kidding. don't want to waste more than time. make yourself comfortable then.” pointing at his work table. the books and papers and pens are neatly arranged. you didn't took him to be the studious type regarding how he acts in the general but you have judged him too early and mentally slapped yourself for thinking that way and you were still suspicious that he is too polite to you.

“what?” pursing your lips in thin line. you shaked your head. “nothing, michael.” he ignores you and sat beside you. already grabbing the needed materials and you both began in silence.

working with michael isn't so bad. he wasn't his usual asshole self who picks fight at school and insults someone for how they look and their skill. michael's behavior placed you in a dangerous situation with him and interactions with him meant to break what little self-confidence you have. opposite he was. he was so good at following up instructions and have studied in advance. it looks like it was better that you should both have split the workload.

“oh i forgot, i would be a bad host if i didn't you offer you some food. i've gotten brownies in that newly opened bakery.” he said, taking off his round glasses he was wearing while you both worked. michael screams like he comes from old money from how he acts and it was totally out of character for him to offer you some refreshments.

he placed a tray of food in the table. consisting of various sweet treats and some drinks. “pick what you want, sweets.” the nickname made you cringed cause michael is really acting nice to you. something's very off at this whole situation. looking at the assortment of sweets in the tray. you hesitated but the look michael is giving you told you otherwise. so you grabbed one and took a bite. “good choice.” he praises you before grabbing a treat for himself.

the brownie's good. the chocolatey goodness melting in your mouth, bursting with flavor. you hum in delight to show your appreciation for the good food and michael nods. smiling a bit and slowly chews. you just only ate one. afraid that he'll comment something and you would rather die than have him say something. it took awhile before you both decided to pick up what's left of the work.

strangely, you have never been feeling so lightheaded before followed by a strange pounding on your head. you grasp the pencil you were holding and it only rolls away from you. you try grabbing it again and it feels like you were holding air. “is something wrong, (y/n)?” you follow the sound of the direction of the voice. why was kaiser is blurry to your vision. did h-he? you were unable to finish your muddled thoughts and even in such state you feel his lips to yours.

your lips is what he imagined to be. soft and plump with the right touch of sweetness. thanks to the brownies. heh. it wasn't really he brought. he put an effort to it just to have what's in front of him. the drug that ness brought him did work just like how he wanted it. you were still conscious and a bit aware of everything but is unable to do anything but he is quite surprised that you were still able to move a bit even it was just an attempt to push him off.

“i can't have you pushing me. i really worked for this.” is what you heard before you are being pushed slowly in his bed.

when you laid there in his bed. michael admires you like he was a painter of his greatest masterpiece. looking like some baroque period painting coming to life while your body's is temporarily incapacitated. his efforts have bore results and he's about to sow.

he begins to strip you. quite annoyed from the layers of clothing you wore. he knows it was fully intentional. not wanting to be called a slut nor a prude by him. he knows his harsh and he likes people when they cry and you were no exception of it. he could have bullied you. break you and pull you apart until you were left nothing but michael withstood all the desires of it cause he wanted you like this. helpless and needing of him.

his palms slowly glides through the expanse of skin. you were the definition of what he deemed perfection in his eyes. your perfectly fit in his and he was about to mold you from his very own hands. he can see the tears pricking in your eyes. glistening as you helplessly watch him defile you.

kaiser never liked giving and receiving. he only takes but what's between your legs leaves him hungry for it. the plushness of your fat pussy drooling with slick is enough to drive him crazy so he did what he did. giving your fat pussy a lick and he was hooked immediately. he continued to devour your pussy until he was satisfied besides his cock is really needing some relief and it was painful. he just found the right place to stick it on.

it was only the tiniest of moans and gasps coming from you but he sure enjoyed it. a symphony being composed and is a music to his hears he won't get tired of listening to. he grabbed and bite whatever his hands and mouth can get to. you were so fucking supple and divine. fitting for an emperor like him. the way your body jiggles and ripples with his very thrusts leaving him grunting and growling for more. your fat pussy is deliciously wrapped around his fat cock that it leaves a drooling mess to your cunt. he already has cummed many times and it squelches with every thrust along with your pussy. his cum being deposited inside of you.

michael glances at the clock. the night is still young and he was going savor all of it until the morning comes. he continues to assault your abused cunt. smiling to himself at the direction of where his phone is currently placed. he needs to commemorate this special occasion.

you were sore. your body screaming in pain while you grab the pieces of your clothing besides you. the tears uncontrollably running down your cheeks while you scramble to get your things and leave this hell hole that was michael's room. “why are you crying?” he asks, sipping a cup of coffee. dressed in his robe and his reading glasses resting in the tip of his nose. “fuck you, michael.” you seethed at the blonde. michael chuckles. “strong words coming from you.” he added.

you were about to grab the last belonging of yours before he interrupts you. “i believe you have a favor to ask me.” your eyes widens. he shows you a video of him repeatedly fucking you. putting you in different positions. “don't you dare, michael.” you warned him. “you fucking raped me, you son of a bitch.” michael didn't really like the tone of your voice and it just triggered something to him. he stands up and made his way to you. grasping your soft jaw in a tight manner. he forces a smile. “oh, i really am.” he taunts you. his blue eyes is filled with storm inside them. “defy me and you're getting this video leaked.”

“what the fuck you want?”

“watch your tone.” he warns before smiling.

“be mine and i'll let this thing disappear like it didn't happen.”

“fuck no.”

“oh really, such a shame. you were enjoying it. see?” he really made it look like you were having the best night of your life. he wipes the tears on your round cheeks.

“good.” he whispers. seeing the look in your face and it left him triumphant.

“don't leave. we really ain't done. i am still starting to enjoy it.”

[artytaeh]

mattheo actually craves love and attention, if you give him a egg with silly eyes drawn on them he will be attached to it like its his kid

regulus would love poems, idk if its common sense at this point but for me Regulus is REALLY into literature

draco would love hair dye

blaise would love that little handmade gifts that has the spotify thing to use the qr code on, he's really into music, change my mind

UNIRONICALLY, i feel like mattheo is one of my favorite incorrect quotes. it doesn't matter if it's silly, or would give him a slightly less tough, masculine look; mattheo quickly becomes attached to whatever you gave him and proudly brags that it's his. a present from you. to HIM.

mattheo: what's this bullshit?

reader: ah, you don't have to keep it—

mattheo: [hugging whatever you gave him close to his chest, turning his body to shield it from your grasp] back off. it's mine now.

⭑ ⋯ ⋯ ﹒ 🪻 ’

as for regulus, you gave me an epiphany?! that sounds so much like him. regulus + love poems made my heart ache in a strange way ☹️✋ nevermind what he says, i know that regulus would be able to write the most gut wrenching, painfully beautiful poem ever. tragically beautiful type of writing.

⭑ ⋯ ⋯ ﹒ 🪻 ’

draco receiving hair dye made me laugh because at first he'd be offended. would look at you as if you had rapped a whole song insulting his family, from his ancestors to his future children.

(he'd still keep the hair dye. no way in hell is he wasting it.)

but depending on how close you are to him, and if you don't make jokes about him bleacing his hair, draco would be so grateful. specially if you bought it because you noticed that his stock was nearly ending. to him, it's the fact that you payed such close attention, and care for him.

⭑ ⋯ ⋯ ﹒ 🪻 ’

AND YOU'RE SO RIGHT ABOUT BLAISE. i totally see him as the type of person that has ten different playlists, for ten different things.

playlist to make out, playlist to shower, playlist while he's working out, another one to study too. would make you a playlist for your first month together, and even one with songs meant to cheer you up, if you're going through a rough week.

would love it if you made a playlist about your favorite songs, because that allows him to discover more songs that he might like, while also getting to know you better. 🗯️

[lovergirlanna]

Dating HC’S | T.R

Tom Riddle x Chubby! Fem Reader

slight warning: talking bad about readers looks/body size + refusing/avoiding meals

SFW + NSFW

NOT PROOF READ

SFW

- As much as Tom may try to deny it he adores your company, just having you around him boosts his ego.

- Tom doesn’t exactly seem like the type of person to give someone else affection but when it comes to you it’s a completely different story. He’ll throw in compliments once in a while. He finds your reactions to them amusing. “Your embarrassed aren’t you?” If you do get embarrassed by the rare compliment it will only make him poke fun at your embarrassment.

- Physical touch is his favourite thing to do so don’t be surprised when you find his arm around your waist whilst you two walk around Hogwarts together.

- Tom will show you off he wants people to know you are his and that he is yours he will not hesitate to go to the extreme to prove this point.

- Once he finds out your skipping meals he’ll get suspicious for one you skip breakfast as your excuse is always that ‘you slept in’ and then for lunch it’s ‘I was studying in the library’ only making it to dinner.

- Tom will confront you especially if this pattern is becoming repetitive. He’ll speak sternly to you commanding an answer from you but this is only because he truly cares about you, he really dose it’s just hard for him since he is quite monotone in his behaviour.

- Finally when you tell him the reason as to why you are skipping meals he replies with a “What?” “Are you seriously suggesting that?” Almost not believing you. In his eyes your are perfection.

- When he finally understands the whole situation he will comfort you because you are his girlfriend after all. He dose care for you and for the love of god if any of the other students are ridiculing you for your body Tom would loose the plot with them. They all know better not to say anything negative about you in-front of his face.

- After he’s talked with you about your views on your body in the following days he will start asking you if you’ve eaten enough. He will start coming to your dorm in the morning to pick you up for breakfast and will even meet you at your class before lunch to make sure you eat. Again he dose care for you and he dose want you safe and healthy.

NSFW

- Tom will never admit it but he gets turned on from you being in your uniform. He loves how your jumper clings onto your body and how it makes your waist stand out such a pity your robes conceal your body most of the time. He also loves your thighs gosh they make him go crazy.

- He loves your body well in-fact he’s practically addicted to it. He loves your soft tummy and your breasts that he’ll bite and suck on with no hesitation.

- He adores the way your tits jiggle as he pounds into you.

- Getting your riled up and needy is what he dose best just making you beg for him Is perfect in his eyes

- Loves overstimulating you and seeing you in a needy mess. As he feels your about to release he’ll pull out glaring at you sniggering down at you. “what’s wrong doll?” He’ll say with no shame. He truly is shameless.

- He’s quite quite he’ll grunt and gasp but on the other hand if your white loud he’ll tease you. “People will hear us so I suggest you shut that pretty mouth of yours.”

- Seeing you beg for him, practically cock drunk makes him smirk. It’s irresistible.

- Tom doesn’t really have a favourite position he just loves it when you beg for him and having full control during sex.

LIST OF CHARACTERS I HAVE DONE FOR THIS THEME

[billy-cockblock]

SWTD Theory

Still Wakes the Deep has been a huge brainworm for me the past few weeks, so I wanted to make a post with one of my takes. Someone’s probably thought of this already, but I can’t find anything about it, so here I go. 

I’m gonna take this time to shout out a little sub theory of mine that plays a bit of a part in my main point. 

For a little background, in populations of organisms, there are limiting factors on their growth and spread. Think of it as a series of funnels of different sizes: the rate of liquid that can flow through is going to be determined by the narrowest funnel. For example. if there’s a population that has ample food, space, and whatever else it needs, but has a restricted access to water, that water is going to limit how large that population could grow.

Before the Shape was dug up by the drill, it was probably dormant in the sea bed, doing its best to survive, the same as any other organism. Down where it was dark, wet, and cold, I think it had one main limiting factor: oxygen.

I don’t think the Shape can efficiently exchange gas underwater. Most of the untouched bodies Caz sees are only underwater, where an organism that thrives in air would struggle to access. Once it gets dug up and brought to air with plenty of organic matter to consume and grow with, its population explodes. When a limiting factor is removed, there’s nothing holding the population back any more until they hit a new limit. The Shape’s old limiting factor was removed, and it would only stop reproducing by running out of space to grow on the rig, running out of organic matter to use, or being killed (like, say, in a giant fiery explosion).

(I could go on and on about how the Shape potentially works, please feel free to ask me about it)

Now, I’ll get to my main theory:

I think Caz was dead the whole time.

Now, I don’t mean that in a “the whole game is in his head, none of it was real” way; I mean it in a “this man got Ethan Winters’ed” way. 

So, I started to do a little research into how tall oil rigs are to know how far Caz would have fallen off the helipad. I quickly learned there are many types of oil rigs and not every oil rig of the same type is the same size. I’m studying marine biology, not petroleum engineering like my brother, so I got tired of trying to guesstimate how tall the Bierra D’s helipad would be and attacked the problem with some simple math. 

Watching a video, I saw he fell for between 4-5 seconds; the acceleration due to gravity is 9.8m/s^2. Plugging that in a calculator while not accounting for air resistance to solve for distance gets me ~80-120m, depending on if I used the 4 or 5 second count, so I’ll guess around 100m. I’ve found many conflicting sources on what the tallest heights you can safely fall into water are, but I can safely tell you that 100m is much higher than any of them. 

Now, maybe the devs weren’t going with the mathematical exact timing it would take for a guy to fall off an oil rig, and didn’t mean for it to be implied that he fell from THAT high. Still, we can agree he fell from very high up, high enough to have likely ended in injury. Maybe he’d just fall on and break a leg? Maybe an arm or some ribs?

After falling off the rig, the last frame before Caz blacks out shows the water at the top of the screen, meaning he hits the water head-first. He may be wearing a hard hat (that somehow stays on his head through the whole ordeal since he clips his flashlight to it), but he still should have cracked his skull open or broken his neck. 

When they pull him out of the water, he’s cold and not breathing, which wouldn’t be unusual for a drowning victim in the North Sea in the dead of winter, but it would usually be a death sentence. They never explain how they dragged Caz out of the water, but it would presumably have taken a long time to get him out, and time is key when dealing with someone who isn’t breathing. The fact that he’s able to cough up water and start breathing on his own is a miracle, since it doesn’t sound like Brodie or Douglas do CPR when they bring him inside.

So, fall damage, head and/or spine injury, drowning, and hypothermia. By several different factors, Caz should be a very, very dead man. So why isn’t he?

My theory is that, somehow, somewhy, the infection from The Shape healed and brought him back to life. We know for a fact it has amazing generative properties, basically able to double, triple, quadruple the amount of tissue and organic matter in the crew’s bodies with no regard for conservation of mass, so what’s just a little regeneration of damaged tissues in a single body? Once Caz’s body gets someplace with better conditions suited to life (inside where it’s warm and there’s air), it just jumpstarts his body functions. The Shape’s presumably been dormant in the seafloor for a long time, so it could be able to go dormant and kinda “come back to life” as conditions change, similar to a tardigrade, and potentially pass this ability onto its hosts.

And Caz mentions how his head hurts a lot, especially when he gets close to the Shape. 

Now, this might seem like baseless conjecture, and y’all might say “That’s a good headcanon, but there’s no evidence that The Shape could bring people back to life!” to which I would say “Oh, but there might be!"

After the helicopter on the starboard side, we get a call from Bruce, who is actively drowning. Through his gasps, he tells us that O’Connor hurt his leg and couldn’t swim, presumably drowning. And guess who we see still kicking as we’re passing through the pontoon? My thought is that O’Connor couldn’t swim, drowned, and drifted to the bottom, landing on a part of the shape. Once Caz and Brodie start working in the legs and they drain, it exposes him to air and allows the shape to start growing again, assimilating him and bringing him back to life. 

Obviously, he’s not doing as well as Caz is. My thought was that, if Caz died as he was infected, the infection would’ve had to put a lot of its energy into bringing him back, not leaving much for itself to begin assimilating him into the Shape. Since O’Connor was in direct contact with the Shape, it could hook him up to its network to help supplement that loss. Caz, meanwhile, stays as far away from the stuff as he can and doesn’t even get anything to eat all day; guy's running on empty. He has small things where the Shape affects him, like the colors at the edge of his vision, but most of his hallucinations only happen after the Shape attacks him through O’Connor. Before, I’m pretty sure the largest incident (other than when he’s blacked out) is when we can barely hear Suze’s voice over the speakers when moving through the pontoon. It’s really only after getting attacked that he starts to hear her when he’s awake, near the Shape, or over phone calls. He only hears her clearly over the speakers in administration after he runs into the shape many times when he gets swept away in the flooding.

With my main evidence out of the way, I’ll also mention that Caz sees the “light at the end of the tunnel” from the end of the game in the oil flashes when he blacks out.

But hey, that’s just a theory. 

A GAME TH- I have received a cease and desist.

Man, this became a long read. Thanks for getting this far, and I hope you enjoyed!

[cynarisgayass]

𓍊𓋼~All the Letters of the alphabet~𓋼𓍊

Type: Mini headcannons

Description: So obviously I'm not the first to make a dirty alphabet of headcannons, credit to whoever did make it first though cause I tried to find out but it was a never ending list, but anyways this is basically a whole bunch of smutty headcannons with each one being a letter of the alphabet. I changed a couple though to make it more my own. :p

Rating: Explicit

Reader: GN, afab

Warnings: Kinky, be prepared for anything

Includes: Tighnari!

Tighnari:

Aftercare:

His soft hands would never leave yours as he helped you and cared for you, making sure you were well taken care both in the bedroom and out of it. He'd take a bath with you if you were sore and let you hug his tail if you wanted to cuddle. Aftercare with him always confirms how much he loves you.

Body part:

His favourite body part of yours would have to be your hands, the way they feel wrapped around him or when you're playing with his ears, he loves it. He even adores when your nails scrape across his back during the fun~

Cum:

He cums alot~, neither of you are sure why but he can overfill you in one go and then some. It's messy, sticky milky white but it's also hot to be covered in so much of him. It tastes salty sweet and often runs down your chin whenever you use your mouth, no matter how hard you try to get it all...

Dirty secret:

He secretly likes when he fills you too full. Something about seeing his cum drip out of you and knowing that you're unable to hold anymore sends shivers down his spine.

Experience:

He didn't have lots of experience, mostly cause he was more focused on academics then romance but he quickly studied up on books and other forms of learning after the two of you started having sex. He wanted to know everything so he wouldn't be lacking and it paid off~

Favourite position:

Any of them really, but he specifically likes ones where he can look into your eyes. He enjoys seeing what different positions can affect you the most. The second your eyes roll back he knows he's found a good one.

Goofy:

He's not goofy in bed. He's not really goofy outside of it either, but sarcasm does find it's way into some of your more intimate moments...for example if you tell him not to stop over and over he'd probably respond with "Yeah like I'd stop" just pointing out the obvious.

Hands:

Just the same as he loves yours, you love his hands. He's very good with them, wether they are hitting all the right places inside...or outside~ They are always finding ways to make the experience better for you.

Intimacy:

He can be very intimate and romantic, but more often then not he's more of a beast in bed. Naughty things cloud his mind and though love is obviously always in play, it tends to fade more into the background as the two of you get louder and louder.

Jack off:

Masturbation was basically what got him through his academic years and it's still helping him out whenever he's away from you. If he's gone away for a lecture, you can bet he's taking dirty thoughts of you with him to use when he's alone. You're on his mind more often then you'd think too..

Kink:

Alot of people would assume breeding kink, which yes can be true but it's mainly a cum kink for him. He just likes it when you're filled with his cum, or covered in it if, or swallowing it. Anything where you have him all over you, its such a turn on for him.

Location:

He's usually pretty nervous doing things outside of a bedroom, but ever so often things might make it outside and I mean in nature outside. He has animal instincts and he likes the fresh air, pair that with your scent and the slight risk of getting caught and he's in heaven.

Mouth:

He's more then happy to use his mouth on you. His tongue is a bit rougher then average and it feels so good on you that you tend to get pretty loud whenever he goes down on you. It makes his ears twitch in delight as he laps up your essence.

No:

He's usually pretty open to learning ways to please you, but the one thing he will not do is...hurt you. He can't bring himself to actually injure you. Maybe a spank or a bite but that's it. He's trained in the medical field and he's seen abuse firsthand. He never wants you to feel that way.

One or more:

He usually prefers to keep things between the two of you, but if both of you agree to add a extra someone to the party, he can get behind that... literally~ As long as you know at the end of the day that you're his lover and no one else's.

Pace:

He is usually pretty fast. Not that he doesn't want things to last, he just reaches his breaking point quickly, but that doesn't mean things end then. He's almost always up for another round and if he's not then you can guarantee he'll find other ways to please you till he is.

Quickies:

They are okay in his opinion. He's fast so it works, but he really enjoys when he has lots of time with you to do whatever you both are craving. Not to mention, quickies often leave him having to hurry and dress you back up and he longs to see his work instead...

Rough:

He can get pretty rough when he's really hungry for you. Hair pulling is on the table, along with biting and holding you down as he fucks fast and hard. He knows you can handle it~

Stamina:

He pretty much stays at three rounds, but if things are really hot and heavy and he just needs more of you, he will find a way to go more.

Toys:

Over his course of learning how to make you feel pleasure beyond your wildest dreams, he gathered quiet a few toys to use on you. Sure he has some for him, but you're his true interest. He especially loves one that's shaped like a mushroom, it vibrates and has such a nice array of settings for him to play with.

Unfair:

He teases you with his sarcasm and finds it hot when you do the same back, he's quick witted and sometimes you find it difficult to compete with him, but that's all just entertainment that dissipates when things start going~

Volume:

He's so quiet normally, but when the two of you are at it he loses that entirely. Gasps and groans are always escaping him, and when you're using your mouth he gets even louder. Yelps and grunts that have you grasping for more.

Wildcard:

He wouldn't be opposed to traveling in the desert with you if it meant he could see you in one of the desert outfits. Sweaty and lots of skin showing...a guy can dream~

X-ray:

Whats in his pants...a 8 inch. A little longer then average but rather skinny, with a pretty pink tip. He has bigger balls that tend to slap against the inside of your legs or against your booty for extra sound affect.

Yearning:

His sex drive is high. He needs you, all the time. Filled, bent over, on your knees, all of it. Whenever the two of you have the opportunity, he's in the mood.

Zzz:

He's already tired from working and he puts in alot of effort so he falls asleep pretty fast afterwards, but not without cuddling up to you and wrapping his tail around you first.

Phew this was long. Next post is gonna be a part two to scream or be silent!

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Orange Blossoms

Pairing: Buck x Reader

Word Count: 6.4k

Notes: You dont understand, when I make the drafts for my chapters so I can just copy, paste, and queueeue, I do it in order, so I just did 5, 6 and now 7, all so I could say “can you tell I’ve been watching Dora”

P.S I’m gonna spoil here, just in case. Things start to get steamy and Buck ties readers wrists to the headboard just so you’re aware if you don’t like that.

Chapter 7: Where are we going? Build a Bear!

Buck and Eddie are on the couch, waiting for you to show up. He wanted to get you alone but Eddie stopped by to drop something off and he kind of accidentally stayed

“You know, I think she gave me a size kink” 

“Jes-“ Eddie tosses his phone down onto the couch as Buck scrolls through your Instagram very carefully so he doesn’t like any old pictures

“Like….she’s just so short. I could just pick her up and like… toss her”

“Why would you want to toss her” 

“Okay, not toss her- shut up I already had this discussion…. But like, here” 

He starts typing on his phone and Eddie sighs, running his hand over his face. Buck shoves the phone into his hands and his mouth drops wide open 

“Buck?!!!! Buck. This- this is” 

“Just scrub through it, I’m pretty sure it was 2:59”

“You know the timestamp”

“It’s what made me think about her like that, of course, I know the timestamp” 

Eddie sinks down on the couch tilting the phone and scrubs through the… less than safe for work video. In fact, he’s never been more glad to be in his own home… okay Buck’s home but same difference. He gets to the part Buck was talking about, the man is holding the girl up, his arms crossed and braced between her breasts as he practically impales her

“I don’t think you could do this, her hips are way too luscious for that, you’d never last,” He says as he watches the video, Buck leans over and goes backward a little

“Okay what about this one” 

Eddie narrows his eyes as they really study these positions “for science” So far Buck’s other favorite seems to be having you leaned over the bed with your toes not even touching the floor as he rails into you. Eddie likes the one with his whole body covering the girl as he holds her tightly, drilling into her like that. 

“These are so male gaze oriented” Buck sighs “What do you think she would like?” 

“I feel like she likes to ride it, the way she sits on her bike when she’s talking kind of makes me think of that,” Eddie says, looking up yet another video, they’re both hard at this point, and have just committed to not acknowledging it “Like remember how good she looked on top of you? The way her back arched??” 

They watch videos together for a while, pointing things out, and working out the logistics of other things.  

It’s the most ridiculous thing they’ve done this week 

They’re listening to a whimpering ASMR when there’s a knock at the front door, they’d ordered pizza earlier. Eddie takes the phone, looking up something else again 

“You know what I bet she’d like?” 

“Hm?” Buck says as he gets up to get the door 

“Amazon position” 

He groans and drags his feet to the door, unlocking it “Don’t say that to me, please. Because ever since the beach I need to be dominated like that by her and she literally never needs to know that” 

He turns to the open door and you’re standing there, with a couple packs of sodas in your arms. Buck’s mouth drops wide open and his face turns a deep shade of red. He gestures, not even being able to form words 

“You good bro?” Eddie calls from the couch, and you slip through the door, past a floundering Buck, and over to the kitchen 

“No, I think he’s broken again” 

Eddie exits the site fast and bursts out laughing as Buck still stands at the door too mortified to turn around 

“Hey is there much traffic?” He asks as you’re loading the sodas into the fridge 

“Uhhh it’s not too heavy right now, but you know it’s L. A, There’s always traffic” You stand up, looking at him over the fridge 

“Why?”

“Oh I’m just trying to figure out where I should walk right into it”

You giggle as you walk back over to the front door and take his hand, pulling him into the house and shutting the door 

“You don’t need to walk into traffic”

Buck groans embarrassedly, bending down and laying his head on your shoulder. You coo softly, holding his head to you

“Awwww pobrecito” you laugh as he whines loudly and puts his hands on your hips 

“Damn, she is pretty small compared to you,” Eddie says from the couch and Buck flips him off before pulling you against his body and nuzzling his face into your neck 

“Buck!! Quit it!!” You squeal as he starts kissing your neck and squeezing you tighter 

“No, I’m trying to make myself feel better! You just stand here and look pretty” 

He dramatically kisses your neck and you squeal again, laughing and trying to push him away

“Quit being a big baby!!” 

He gets on his knees, hugging your waist tightly and burying his face into your tummy 

“No thanks, I’ll be your baby any day,” He says, looking up at you. And he only slightly regrets this angle because he’s absolutely drooling over your full breasts, in the most respectful way possible and pretending like they aren’t incredibly distracting 

You on the other hand, lean forward, giving him a little kiss on the forehead running your fingers through his hair and cupping his cheek

“You’ll be my baby boy any day huh? You gonna be my good boy today Buck?” 

“Shit, I felt that from over here” Eddie groans, rolling off the couch and getting up to come into the kitchen. Buck sinks down further on his knees, his legs spreading 

“Are you still alive?” Eddie asks him as he grabs one of the sodas from the fridge and the ice tray 

“Huh?” Buck is staring up at you, a pleasant little dazed look on his face. Nothing can hide the exact way he’s feeling right now… maybe a pillow. 

“Look at how sweet you look” You giggle and kiss his lips, he feels like a puddle, a really hard… really melty puddle. 

“You’re gonna kill him,” Eddie says, standing next to you now, sipping his soda 

“Nah he’s fine, aren’t you sweet boy” You pet his head lovingly and he whimpers, whiny and loud, he whimpers and Eddie tosses his head back laughing. You smack his chest and he covers his mouth, giggling hysterically 

The doorbell rings, breaking the little spell you have over Buck and he just lays flat on the floor while Eddie goes to answer the door 

“Uhhh… is he okay?” The delivery boy asks, getting Eddie’s change 

“Nah, his girlfriend called him a good boy” Eddie takes the change and hands him a tip. You give him a little wave with your fingers and the guy looks you up and down 

“Shit I’d be on the floor too” 

Buck is so quiet as Eddie dishes up the pizza, he’s watching you intently as he nibbles his slice with both hands like a little squirrel. You watch him back, slowly eating it and Eddie’s head moves like he’s watching a tennis match, wondering who’s gonna break first 

“Should I go? Like do you guys need a minute” He asks, blinking slowly “Because I can go” 

“The second you leave I’m going to jump so maybe don’t,” He tells Eddie, not taking his eyes off of you and you smirk, sipping your drink 

“Yeah but the tension is really high right nowww…and I’m literally so scared you’re gonna jump her anyway and I don’t wanna see that” 

“Really? You don’t want to see her getting railed?” He says, looking at Eddie nonchalantly and you throw your pizza down in exasperation 

“I mean no yeah I’ll watch her I guess-”

“Hey!”

“But you know not by you”

“Wait I’m your best friend you don’t wanna see my talents?”

“Yeah okay you know what maybe I could- you’re probably great. I think you’ve got the stamina, you work out regularly”

“Oh my god really?” Buck puts his hands over his heart and Eddie pats his shoulder 

“Of course man” 

“I’m so glad we can discuss Eddie being a cuck, this is so fun,” You say sarcastically, though the little smirk on your face gives away how hilarious this is. You look at them while wiping your hands on a napkin and Buck grins widely at you 

“What are you talking about baby, he’s definitely joining us. Have you seen his ass?”

He turns Eddie to the side and you lean over the counter 

“Yeah okay I could tap that” 

“See!!” Buck smacks his butt and Eddie rolls his eyes, chuckling quietly 

“You’re not saying no,” Buck says lowly, as you go to eat your pizza again and giggle 

“And you’re saying yes??” Eddie scoffs and neither of you says anything and his mouth drops open 

“Alright we’re done with this discussion you horny fucks” He puts his hands up in defeat and you and Buck high five 

“I didn’t say yes!!”

“You didn’t need to” You purr and he flicks water from his cup onto you 

“You guys can stop now”

“Are we making you uncomfortable?” Buck asks seriously, sipping his soda. “Cause I mean we want to, it’s so funny watching you  all flustered but if you’re not comfortable we’ll stop and definitely apologize”

Eddie thinks for a moment, and shrugs his shoulders, his cheeks flushing as he puts his cup up to his lips 

“It’s uh…. It’s fine…”

“Ayooooooo” You and Buck shout together, high-fiving again 

A half-hour later you’re snuggled on the couch between the two of them, Buck has his arm over your shoulders, pulling you into his side as he draws little shapes on your arm. Eddie is sitting with his arms crossed and pouting after all your little jokes earlier. 

“You can pick the movie” You smirk at Eddie as you hand him the remote 

“Maybe I don’t wanna pick the movie” He huffs as he snatches it from your hands and you snicker, whacking his thigh

“Awwww is Eddie sad he didn’t get to be called a good boy” Buck taunts him, reaching over and pinching his cheek and you laugh when Eddie slaps his hand away 

“We said we weren’t talking about that anymore!!“ 

You and Buck giggle with each other, teasing and poking at Eddie and he slaps you both away. He’s just putting on Friday the 13th (which he knows you hate) when his phone starts ringing, he rolls his eyes and gets up to answer it 

“Saved by the bell” You sigh as you lean into Buck and he leans down, kissing your nose and you giggle 

“Okay- Gag” Eddie walks back in “I gotta go to the airport I’ll see you freaks later” he grabs his keys off the coffee table and Buck throws his hands up 

“Hey! Where are you going?!” 

“Yeah, you were just about to listen to me scream every five minutes!” You protest and he smirks 

“First of all, this isn’t how I would plan on making you scream” He winks at you, and he and Buck high-five 

“Second of all… uhhh… I gotta pick up my cousin” 

Buck’s mouth drops open “Alicia?!!! You did not actually invite her!!”

“I panicked!!” Eddie cries out as he gets ready to leave “I didn’t know what to do??” 

“Huh?” You ask, and Buck facepalms “Eddie invited his cousin to visit because earlier I had to hide I was talking to you…and apparently Alicia said yes!” 

“She’s been meaning to come out this way anyway,” Eddie says as grabs a slice on the way out and you and Buck are left alone 

“So…” You say looking at Buck’s hands, playing with his fingers “You gots a hot date?” You ask and he looks down at you, smirking 

“Mhmm sure do. Got this cute lil thing letting me take her on a few dates… I know exactly where I’m taking her next too” 

Your cheeks flush as you bite your lip and he pokes your nose 

“Where are you taking her?” You ask sweetly and Buck grins

“Build a bear!! I thought we could make each other bears” he blushes and you gasp, hugging him tightly and knocking him back on the couch

“Buck!! That’s the cutest idea ever!!” You squeal and he laughs as he lays on top of you kissing all over your face “But what about my date for you?” 

“You really think so??” He looks at his watch and bites his lip “You uh…you know it’s still open if you don’t mind a date right now. And we can just count this as a little side quest date”

“You wanna go now??” You sit up fast, knocking him off of you and he falls on the floor, wheezing 

“Yeah we can go if you want” 

You squeal and get up from the couch, rushing to find your bag

“Let’s go let’s go!!!” 

Buck pulls into the mall parking lot and shuts off the jeep, you’ve been bouncing in your seat the entire time and he’s been rubbing your thigh trying to get you to calm down a little. You nearly launch yourself out of the car and he facepalms, grabbing your hand before you run off

“Hey… look at me” He pulls you into his chest, making you rest your chin between his pecs. He strokes your hair softly and smiles 

“I realize how this sounds” he chuckles “But I need you to hold my hand in there okay? I can’t have you getting lost, I don’t know what I’d do if you did” 

“Okay Dad” You sass him and he smacks your butt. He snickers when you squeak and he bends down, nuzzling your nose 

“Try that again Miss Sassypants”

Your cheeks flush as you look at him, he gives you a little grin and you roll your eyes 

“Okay Daddy,” You say, your voice soft and quiet and he blushes, rolling his eyes back

“Oh I’m gonna make you say that over and over I swear to god” 

He takes your hand, whisking you away into the large mall ahead of you.

Build a Bear is relatively easy to find, and the more surprising part is there’s not anyone there. The worker says it’s the weekdays and they hardly get anyone in on those days, so you and Buck have the run of the shop. 

You stare at the large line of bears, your arms crossed over your chest as you both slowly walk along the line. You narrow your eyes and pick up a couple, looking them over 

“You’re really serious about this” 

Buck breaks your concentration and you look up at him, blinking

“Uh duh, this is serious business,” you tell him “I have to pick the perfect bear!!” 

“Whatever you pick is gonna be perfect for me baby, especially seeing how much thought you’re putting into it” He kisses your forehead and you smile a little 

“Would it make it easier if I picked one?” He asks and you push him away further down the line 

“Heck no!! I’m picking!!” 

Buck breaks the rules and buys you two bears. He goes through the little heart ceremony with you for the first one and it’s disgustingly cute. As you rush off to go find an outfit, Buck secretly gets a lavender Axolotl stuffed for you too. 

You’re not really sure what to dress your bear in, it’s a pink cuddles teddy bear with a strawberry scent inside. You peruse the shop, tapping your chin as you look at all the outfits and accessories. Buck comes over with a little hanger in hand and shows you 

“Is it too cheesy to put him in a fireman’s costume” 

He holds it up to the spring green frog and you laugh, reaching out and petting the frog 

“No that’s perfect!!! I love it!” 

Eventually, you settle on the fuzzy trim red robe and fuchsia satin panties 

“Baby noooo, no” Buck whines when he sees them and you turn to him, putting your hand on your hip 

“No, the bear isn’t supposed to turn me on!” He says and you snort, tossing your head back as you laugh at him 

“I picked Mirabel from Encanto’s dress too okay? You can put her in that!!” 

“Okay deal… whenever I want to mess around though I’ll put her in the other outfit like a bat signal” 

You snicker and Buck grabs one of the little robes so you two can match. You both grab a couple more things and go to dump it all on the counter for checkout 

“Wait!! We gotta name them!” He pulls you over to the screens and scans the tags

“Alright no peeking” He turns his body to you and you roll your eyes, smacking his butt 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, you don’t peek either!!” 

You drum your fingers against the granite countertops, biting your lip as you think. Buck lets out a satisfied little sigh and turns around 

“Welp I’m done, sucker” He hip-bumps you and you push him away 

“Shut up and go pay for your bear I’m still thinking!!”

“Uh, you mean our bears. This is a date, remember?” 

“Buck building a bear is expensive! I can pay for my own bear!” 

“Fuck no. Oh shit! I probably shouldn’t curse in here” he looks around and luckily you’re both still alone save for the employee who’s just staring at him 

“You work on that” You pat his arm as he walks away. You look back at the screen, sighing a bit irritably. 

“It’s not a competition honey,” Buck says from the register “Besides I already won it” 

You flip him off and he gasps dramatically, shielding his frog's eyes 

“Not in front of the children!!”

You punch in the letters and hit print, walking over to him and pouting. He pulls you into his chest, chuckling softly, and kisses your head 

“Oh come on… why are you pouting baby girl” He coos and you huff, turning to face the other way and he snickers. 

“Come on it can’t be that bad” 

The employee hands you two your little condos (that Buck absolutely paid for) and Buck takes your hand, pulling you from the store 

“Just tell me!!” He says and you shrug. He rolls his eyes and takes you to a little bench, opening the condo and taking out the birth certificate 

“Dolly?” He says “Like Dolly Parton? Because I can get behind that”

You fall against his chest and groan and he holds you, giggling at your dismay 

“No…” you mumble and he has to lean a little closer to hear you “Dolly because you call me doll… I thought, you know it would be cute” 

Buck’s heart melts as he pulls the pink bear from the box and looks at it. It’s in its little Mirabel dress 

“Y/N that’s the cutest shit I’ve ever heard” he wipes away a fake tear and pushes your head away from him “I’m replacing you” 

“Hey!!” You squeak and he hugs his bear to his chest, squeezing it and swishing back and forth 

“She’s perfect!!!” 

You smile at him, shaking your head, and opening your box, you take the fluffy green frog and hug it too, it’s got a strawberry scent in it 

“So what did you name him?” You ask, looking back at Buck who’s nuzzling his bear's nose and he stops, looking over at you 

“Uhhh…” he puts the bear back in the box and you giggle as he carefully closes it 

“The best name ever!!” He says, taking it from you and holding it next to his face 

“Buck Jr!!!” 

The five of you head over to the food court because Buck just has to get you one of the Cinnabons they have there, he says it’s the best you’ll ever have. Buck sets you up at a little table and promises that he’ll be right back, giving you a sweet kiss and a wink before leaving. You pull out your frog, smoothing its fur a little 

“Buck Jr” you giggle quietly to yourself as you look him over in his little firefighter outfit 

“Hey, that’s a cute little frog you got there” 

You look up to a random man standing in front of you, you blink at him, your face blank and emotionless 

“Oh thanks” 

“Yeah, where did you get him?” 

Okay, maybe he’s just asking? You point across the way and then gesture to the two condos next to you 

“Build a bear? Over there? It’s kinda hard to miss…” you lighten your voice a little giving him a polite smile “My boyfriend made him for me” 

He turns and looks at it for a moment before stepping closer to you 

Nevermind. 

“Oh yeah! Haha I guess I should be more observant” He sits at the table next to you, turning his body toward you 

“It looks pretty cute in there! Maybe you wouldn’t mind going with me? To help me pick one out?” 

“Oh for like your girlfriend or something? Yeah just go with one of these!” You hold up the frog “These go over pretty well! The people there can definitely help you out” 

You tuck Buck Jr back into his box and this loser scoots closer 

“Actually, I thought maybe I could get one for you?” 

“I’ve got three here, thanks” 

“Oh come on… a pretty little thing like you could use more stuffed animals don’t you think?” 

Oh gag. 

“You know what-“ You whirl around on him to tell him off… but you’re a bit late. A brown bag lands in front of you and Buck sits right between the two of you, wiggling his hips to scoot you over and make room. 

“Hi baby,” He says gleefully, ignoring the man he’s practically sitting on, and leans in, kissing you deeply. He pulls away a little and looks down at you, his sweet smile and perky demeanor don’t even come close to hiding that possessive glare in his eyes. One that reminds you all too much of your little bunny adventure 

“Hi,” you say softly and he nuzzles his nose against yours before turning to the guy 

“So who the fuck are you?” He asks, stoning his features and your heart practically beats out of your chest. Because an angry Buck is a sexy Buck. You feel a shiver trail down your spine as he stands up, reaching out for your hand and you immediately take it, gathering up your stuff 

“Are you messing with my girlfriend?” 

“I’m- no I didn’t-“ The guy got his hands up in defense now “She didn’t tell me she had a boyfriend dude I’m sorry” 

Your mouth pops open and Buck looks down at you and then back at the man 

“Wow. I don’t believe that.” He deadpans and you put your hand on his chest 

“Let’s just go, please?” You ask quietly and he leans down, hooking his finger under your chin and tilting your head up to him 

“You sure you don’t want me to beat his ass?” 

“Excuse me??”

“I’ll do it for you baby” He purrs and you giggle, putting your hands on his waist and squeezing lightly 

“I don’t want you getting in trouble, especially with Uncle Bobby” 

“Did you just threaten me??” The guy asks, standing up now, Buck is bigger than him in every way, and definitely more lethal. Buck looks up at him, narrowing his eyes 

“Fuck off if you know what’s good for you. I will burn you.” He growls and the guy takes a step back 

“God you freak” He scowls, immediately leaving the two of you alone and walking off with his tail between his legs, because let’s be real, he was not about to fight Buck

Buck wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you to him, and nuzzles his face into your neck

“Mine” His voice is whiny and childish and you snort, a complete 180° from who he just was five minutes ago 

“Were you really gonna fight that guy?” You ask as you hold him to you and he pulls away a little to look at you

“Hell yes, I was. Would you have recorded it” He wiggles his eyebrows and you giggle, kissing his nose 

“Hell yes I would have” 

Buck calls Eddie on the way home and tells him everything that happened, first, he asks if you’re okay and you tell him yes, and then they both go into all of the ways they’d get him back for that and you sit there with your cheek on your hand, listening in amusement to the way they’re figuring out how to hide the body 

“You know, Buck was actually really sexy” you interrupt them practicing their evil laugh, and his head whips to you 

“I was what now?”

“I’ve seen him get mad, I know what you mean” Eddie chuckles and Buck looks at the phone 

“What are you guys talking about??” 

“He growled Eddie. You should have heard him” 

Buck’s cheeks flush and he swats at your thigh “Oh shut up” 

“Were his fists closed?? Did his veins do the thing?” He asks and you start to giggle as Buck looks at his arms 

“The wha-“

“Yes!!” You squeal and and wriggle in your seat “Oh god you should have seen him, I swear I was gonna jump him right there”

“I’m sorry you were gonna what-“ 

“I know exactly what you mean, you should have seen him when someone was trying to make fun of Hen-“

“Guys why are we talking about me like this” Buck is beyond flustered and he’s about to have to pull over in a second just to die 

“We’re discussing our feelings, Buck,” you tell him simply 

“Our incredibly horny feelings,” Eddie says and you burst out laughing as Buck hides in his hands at a red light 

“Oh my god can you guys please shut up, please” He whines and you and Eddie go on and on about him, praising him and telling him how gorgeous he is, and how strong he is. He hardly parks his car before he’s shoving you out and trying his best to run away from you two, even leaving his phone behind as he grabs as many bear boxes as he can. 

“You think we ruined him enough?” Eddie chuckles and you giggle “Yeah definitely, thanks for your help”

“Hey, anything to remind my best friend that he’s worth the world. I’ll talk to you later honey”

“Bye!!” 

You hang up with Eddie, grabbing your bear condo Buck left and lock the doors from inside before going up to the studio, you look around the place and smirk, going up to his bed. 

Buck is lying facedown on the bed when you come up and he’s got Dolly in one arm. Pouting into the pillows and fully ignoring you

“Buck? Baby?” You set down your box and his phone on the bedside table and smirk, walking over to him and patting his butt. He wiggles his hips and huffs and you roll your eyes, straddling his hips and smoothing your hands down his back 

“You okay?” 

“Why did you and Eddie have to do that” He whines “Now I feel all… like cool and sexy or whatever” 

You laugh as you massage his back and he groans softly, enjoying the way your hands flow over his body 

“Just wanted my man to know how perfect he is,” You say playfully and he sets Dolly down, turning over slowly so you’re straddling his waist now. He grabs your hips, pushing you down a little so you’re exactly where he wants you 

“Your man?” 

“Mhmmmm” you purr, settling your hips down and lying on him. You put your palms flat on each other and lay your head across them, staring into his eyes 

“You’re driving me crazy bunny” 

“Want me to make it worse? Wolf boy”

He laughs and shakes his head “And just what do you mean by that?”

You sit up, placing your palms on his chest and arching your back “Well….we’re home alone… no one to catch us…” You grind your hips in a little circle and he gasps, biting his lip 

“I-I mean… if- if you-“

“Do you not want to?” You stop for a second, asking him seriously and he flushes, his cheeks turning an adorable pink color 

“I don’t wanna seem easy” 

You laugh, rocking backwards on his lap and he grabs your hips to steady you 

“I’m the one propositioning you, and you feel easy?” 

“You’re making me all flustered!!” He slaps at your hands and you snicker, slapping him back 

“I’m trying to be all manly and sexy! And you’re making me blush like a schoolgirl! Constantly!!”

“Well, I don’t mean to! You’re just so cute when you blush!” You tell him as you guys start play fighting 

“I wanna make you nervous” he grits out and purposely knocks you off his lap you squeak as you topple onto the bed 

“Hey!” 

He climbs onto you now, shaking you lazily and you laugh, trying to wriggle from his arms 

“So just do it!!” You tell him and he stops 

“What?” 

“You try and make me nervous, go ahead” You cross your arms over your chest and look at him “Go on”

He raises an eyebrow and shrugs before pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the side 

“Make you nervous huh?” You’re already blushing a little at the drop in his voice, he looks you up and down slowly, licking his lips and rubbing his hands together 

“Yeah okay I think I can do that” 

He leans down, kissing your neck and sliding his hands up your shirt, your breath hitches as you feel one hand holding your hip firmly as the other slides underneath your neck, pulling you closer to his lips, he sighs softly against your neck, nuzzling his nose against it before trailing soft kisses along your jaw 

You can feel his grip on you becoming more possessive as he smiles and looks down at you 

“Such a pretty little thing… I wonder what it takes to make you blush” He leans in, not breaking eye contact with you except for the little flit down to your lips, he teases you, brushing his lips against yours before pressing his lips to yours, deepening the kiss and pressing his body into yours. You let out a shy little noise and he chuckles against your lips not letting up. He nips at your bottom lip and you whimper, letting his tongue slip inside your mouth and tangle with yours, you taste as sweet as he knew you would at this moment 

Your hands come up, cupping his neck before clawing your way down his back and he shudders, moaning into your mouth. He reaches between the two of you, and you feel his hand flowing over the soft curves of your body like he wants to memorize every inch as he cups your breast through your bra, he slides his fingers underneath, knocking it off and rubbing your nipple between his fingers 

“B-Buck that’s totally cheating” You gasp as you arch your back into him and he looks at you, his eyes cloudy and overflowing with desire 

“Does it look like I care?” 

He pulls away now, pushing your shirt over your head and helping you out of it. Your cheeks flush and he winks before wrapping his lips around your nipple, and kneading your other breast like he can’t get enough of them and if he’s honest he really can’t 

He takes his time, enjoying the way you writhe under him looking for friction that he won’t give you, not yet anyway. You try to get him to move up to your lips again, try to make him angle his hips on you again but he just won’t 

“Do me a favor” He pulls away suddenly and you whine frustratedly 

“Go in that bottom drawer and hand me what’s in it. You’ll know what I’m after” 

He gets up from the bed and takes off his pants as you roll your eyes and dig around in the drawer he pointed to, he has his back turned for a moment when he hears you stop rustling, and he looks over his shoulder

“Something wrong? Did you get what I asked?” 

“I-I don’t know” You gulp quietly and he turns to you now with a skeptical look 

“Oh bunny, Don’t lie to me.” He holds his hand out and you shakily hand him the rope you pull out. 

“Thank you” 

He crawls back on the bed, threading it properly through the steel rings on his headboard and your mouth drops open 

“What the hell are you doing”

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna let you tie me up”

“It’s just your wrists bunny” he rolls his eyes and you splutter 

“Well!! Well, you’re not doing that to me!! Heck no! I refuse!” 

He tests it for a second before turning to you “Are you serious? Or are you just being difficult?” 

“I-“ you gesture wildly and he smirks 

“You can say no. You can say red light. My safe word is “Jabba”

“You mean like-“

“Exactly” He laughs and you giggle with him 

“That’s stupid”

“It totally ruins the moment” he giggles with you and you get on your knees next to him on the bed and he smiles, kissing your nose 

“Come on, lemme tie you up”

“You’ll stop if I’m not okay with it?” You ask and he nods, a serious look on his face 

“Absolutely. No matter what’s happening” 

You narrow your eyes before laying back on the bed slowly and offering your wrists to him. He grins wickedly and walks you through how he’s doing it, even how to get out of it in emergencies or if you’re not doing okay. He pats your thigh as you lay with your arms tied back 

“Might just cream my pants lookin at you” he teases and you laugh, letting your head fall back in the pillows 

“You’re so stupid” You put your foot on his chest as he goes to crawl towards you. He takes your leg, leaving hot, wet, kisses as he goes up, he pulls your shorts down your legs tossing them to the side then lays on his stomach, staring at you hungrily 

“Better be good or I’ll tie your legs down too” 

“You’d do that?” You gulp and he nods at the steel rings at the ends of his bed and your eyes widen considerably. His eyes trail down your body to your panty-clad heat, he admires you for a minute before leaning in and inhaling slowly. 

“Goddamn” he sighs dreamily, dragging his tongue lazily over the glistening patch on the front of your panties, and your breath hitches  

“Just to be sure… we’re totally an item, right? Like… me and you?” He looks at you as he makes out with your panties, his tongue swirling in tortures circles 

“Uh huh” you pant, your cheeks pink “Definitely. I’m just making you wait five dates so I’m not easy” You tease him a little and he chuckles, you can feel the vibrations shoot through you and you buck your hips against his mouth. He puts one of your thighs over his shoulder, nipping the inside of your soft skin 

“Stay fucking still,” he says against your thigh and you squeak as he bites a little harder. 

“Quit biting!” You refrain from squirming and he hums softly, pleased by your submission. 

“Not even a please?” He kisses across your thigh and licks your panties again, over and over like he’s teasing himself as much as he’s teasing you. He groans quietly and grinds his hips into the bed 

“P-please quit biting,” You say, and his eyes go back to yours, he winks and pulls your panties to the side now, running his tongue through your folds and burying his face between your legs 

“Jesus, Y/N” he moans as he laps at your needy cunt. You whine his name, pulling your knees up to your chest and he chuckles deeply, pushing his tongue deeper and drinking in your sweet nectar 

You struggle against the ropes, trying to break free to touch him, to push him closer to you and he slaps your thigh 

“Stop moving so much” 

Your head falls back into the pillows as you try rolling your hips against his mouth, he hums happily at that and you sigh contentedly. He lets you fuck his face as he sucks on your clit, whimpering as he teases it in little circles with his tongue 

“That’s my good girl” he praises you “gonna make me cum hands-free” His hips grind down into the bed as he devours your pretty pussy, giving it wet sloppy kisses and rutting his hips harder into the mattress 

“Wish I was inside you” He pants between your legs, his hot breath fanning across your cunt “Wish I could be pumping my pretty bunny full of my cum” 

His voice cracks a little when he says that and that drives you up the wall, your back arches off the bed and you pull your legs together around his head as you finish, your hips rolling in fast little circles against his mouth as his name falls from your lips over and over again. He drinks you in, fully content with drowning himself as you grind against his face 

He finally pulls away from you and lays his head on your thigh, nuzzling against it a little 

“You taste good” He pants softly and you lift your head slowly to look at him

“You think so?” 

“I know so” 

He reaches up and lets your wrists go easily, your arms fall to your sides and he chuckles, taking one of your wrists in his hand and kissing it softly, before going to the next one 

“You okay?” He asks, looking into your eyes and you nod slowly laying your head back down and closing your eyes 

“I’ve never been better, in like, my entire life” 

He hums happily and nuzzles his face between your legs, kissing your pussy and dragging his tongue through your folds lazily. You whine and push his head away and he pouts 

“Alright, alright” He inches forward and lays his head on your torso now, you run your fingers through his hair and massage his head 

“Was I good?” He asks quietly and your cheeks burn as you tug on his hair a little to get him to look at you 

“You were so good, baby boy” 

[pinkanonwrites]

dorm leaders with an alchemist s/o who secretly used potions to look like a male but really, s/o is a female?

Sure thing! Just so you know these are all working under the assumption that the Housewardens knew/learned the reader was a woman before they started dating!

Fem! Reader, Fluff

On one hand, he thinks it's inappropriate for you to lie to your teachers, classmates, and friends like this. Do you not trust them? Did you not trust him before he found out? Because he liked to think the two of you were pretty close. Maybe that's why you ended up telling him. Lying is wrong, though!

On the other hand, he'd never go out of his way to spill your secret. His lips are completely sealed, and regardless of his own feelings about lying, he doesn't have your permission to tell anyone so he isn't going to.

Regardless of how you look, Riddle is shy about PDA in general, so don't expect many secret kisses or hand holding. But he's still willing to show his favoritism to you in your male form, often walking with classes to you or studying for exams side by side. He just likes to be near you more than anything.

Straight up doesn't even care. He'll raise a slight eyebrow at you having the guts to try and fool an entire student body of all-male, incredibly adept magic users, but that's about it. What difference does it make to him whether you're a dude or a chick? Above all else, you're his favorite naptime pillow, and that's what's most important to him.

He's not the type to tell anyone either, but Ruggie will probably figure you out just from Leona's level of comfort with him. He's not going to sit Ruggie down and explain the whole situation, but he'll let enough context clues slip that the clever hyena is able to piece a few things together on his own.

Subconsciously, he's going to get just the slightest bit more protective of you. Logically he knows you don't need his protection, seeing as you're a skilled enough mage to brew this kind of potion magic. But he's going to be slightly more aware of when you're roughhousing with your friends, one sleepy eye cracked open to make sure you aren't being pushed beyond your limits.

When he first found out he was really flustered (I picture him as the type who always has a bit of trouble talking to girls his age) but once he's grown used to the idea he's amazing at keeping your cover. He won't even tell Jade or Floyd, as he doesn't trust those two to be able to keep their mouths shut. 

Azul already had a crush on you before he even learned you were a girl, so nothing really changes on that front. He's not much for PDA either, but behind closed doors he's delightfully clingy regardless of what form you're in. He didn't even make you sign a contract to keep your secret, that's how smitten with you he is.

He never pushes you to show or stay in your female form for him. He knows you chose it to attend this school, but he's not sure if you have any insecurities about your appearance that you're trying to overcome, and the last thing he'd want to do is pressure you about something he understands all too well. Assures you that he loves you in both forms, and whatever makes you happiest is the best.

Tries really, really hard to keep your secret, and to his credit actually does pretty well! Kalim isn't the best at keeping things hidden, but for your sake he's doing his absolute best. He does tell Jamil, but only after getting your permission. Though to be perfectly honest Jamil would have figured it out at some point, if he hadn't already.

Has absolutely no problems about people knowing that you're dating when they assume you are a guy. He's shameless about PDA too, so whenever he sees you he wants to be all over you with hugs and kisses. He's like a weighted blanket the way he drapes himself over you as soon as you're within arms reach.

Your own personal hype man! Regardless of your form, Kalim has nothing but compliments for your appearance, your fashion, your magical prowess, how cool you are, et-cetera et-cetera. It can get a little overwhelming at times, how much praise he has for you. But never doubt that he means every single word!

Vil's first thought is how much this revelation opens up your style and outfit possibilities for him. He'd assumed that he'd only be able to work with a masculine style for you, this opened up so many avenues of communication! His second thought was that now he had to keep an extra close eye on you to make sure your secret doesn't get spilled.

Potionwork is the specialty of Pomefiore house, so Vil will most certainly be curious about how you are able to concoct such a perfect brew as to keep maintaining this charade of yours. He genuinely enjoys doing homework with you, scheduling little study dates to pick your brain and spend time with you outside of classroom settings.

Vil is the type to keep his relationships secret, both for the sake of his image and so you don't get mobbed by fans and paparazzi alike. So he'll be keeping your interactions amicable at best when the two of you are out in public together. In private however? Vil is openly vocal about how charming he finds you, regardless of your current appearance. Sure he may balk at your subpar sleep schedule and inability to commit to a regimented skincare routine, but his chastising is always laced with this unavoidable fondness.

He's sure he read a manga with this exact plotline before, how did the protagonist handle it again? Well, one thing is for certain, Idia will take your secret to his grave. He's almost paranoid about it, afraid that he'll accidentally let it slip literally every time you're brought up in conversation. But he never does, his lips are completely sealed!

He may not talk much to his classmates, but online is a different story. His new favorite pastime is bragging about you over voice chat to his fellow degenerates, making them whinge in pain at how above them he is with his super talented, super hot Player 2. And when he brags about you looking good as both a guy and a girl, they just assume he's talking about cosplay!

Since most of your date nights are going to be of the indoor variety anyway, Idia doesn't really have to worry all that much about PDA with you. Though his anxiety doesn't often allow him the luxury of making the first move to lay his head on your lap or toy with your hair, he's equal parts delighted and flustered when you take the plunge and make that first move for him. He's terribly touch-starved, so give him some affection.

He basically knew something was up the first moment he laid eyes on you. Your aura simply reeked of high-caliber illusion magic to him, but you didn't seem to want to cause any trouble so he let it fall to the back of his mind. He was very flattered that you trusted him enough to tell him the truth, even though he'd figured it out literal months ago.

The revelation doesn't really change the way he interacts with you though. He's head over heels for you and the playful banter the two of you often share while perusing the school's various gargoyles. Whether you're a man or a woman does not change the time he's enjoyed with you, and the time he hopes to enjoy in the future.

It's painfully obvious to everyone around the two of you just how much Malleus favors your attention. Lilia, who was also able to suss out your secret identity pretty quickly, is delighted that Malleus has found someone else to bond with, someone outside of the royal circle. Sebek and Silver are still unaware of your secret, and though Sebek seems torn on his opinions of you, Silver thinks you're the perfect match for his Master. So for the most part, you have the Royal Guard's approval!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hey , how would Jeff the Killer, Slenderman, Ticci Toby and Eyeless Jack react to a Albino reader ?

Jeff the killer, Slenderman, Ticci Toby, and Eyeless jack w/ an albino!reader !

jeff and toby are the only two characters strictly written as platonic as per admins personal boundaries, but the others can be seen as either way YAHOO playing TLTs new fnaf song on loop while writing this its so mf good got my bones getting in a twist YIPEE did some research on albinism since i didnt want this to be the characters simply reacting to the surface level stuff so thats why it took a little longer to get to this ! hope thats okay!

SLENDERMAN:

sticking true to my personal headcanon that outside of feeding and running people out of his forest, he doesnt actually interact much with humans... asides from the additional torment he puts potential proxies through but hush hush thats a whole different can of worms. point is, i think its unlikely that he would meet someone with albinism. sure, hes probably seen albino animals now and then, but a person? new experience for him, but i dont think he would be treating you like a spectacle. puts two and two together not long after meeting you... though even if hes accepting of it, he doesnt know of the extra precautions you need to take (to protect your eyes and skin from the sun, for example) but hes pretty receptive i think... notices youre having a hard time on days where its sunnier out so he either keeps you inside or keeps you in the shade. doesnt like giving you things from victims, so hes going to find other means to get you what you need (sunscreen, hats, sunglasses, ect). generally very accommodating, has a soft spot for you. i mean of course he does, you managed to win over this ancient forest demon thing

EYELESS JACK:

already knows what it is, down to common traits and the different types since i personally hc that before he became this silly man eating demon he was studying in medicine + generally had an interest in this sort of thing. doesnt bat an eye to the way your eyes sometimes twitch or drift off, helps you to the best of his ability when the strain gives you headaches. very good at reminding you to reapply your sunscreen and to remember to wear a sunhat when you go outside. if he has to, hes going to give you his jacket just so you can protect your upper body long enough to get back to your place/// just please give it back when you see him again..

JEFF THE KILLER:

"has heard of it but like slenderman knows next to nothing about it asides from "oh it means you dont have pigment/have low pigmentation" has heard of it but like slenderman knows next to nothing about it asides from "oh it means you dont have pigment/have low pigmentation", but unlike slenderman hes kind of... an ass about it... like hes generally an arrogant asshole, so it may take a while for him to pick up on things to make things a little easier for you. seems like hes annoyed with helping you remember to pack your sunglasses and other necessities, or when giving you something to help with any headaches caused by any strain... but let it be known that if he truly didnt care he wouldnt even bother to pipe up and drag you out into the shade when the sun starts beating down on you two.. he simply shows his care for you differently, you know?

TICCI TOBY:

he gets it, he does. maybe this is because he relates to having to just. deal with stuff that makes you different from others. or because admin is on the fence of headcannoning toby with poliosis... which while not albinism, visually he can relate and also relate to some of the other symptoms of it (namely the eye issues). flip flops between reminding you to pack stuff you need and forgetting.. but when he does remember hes very pushy about it, so much so that you might need to tell him to tone it down. you guys tend to vent to one another about things since theres some relatability between the two of you. as mentioned in my previous post hes prooooooobalby going to steal things for you to help you feel better; from things that will physically help you to things that will emotionally help you

[danieyells]

Sure Haku can have big balls but we all agree Alan Thoma and Jiro have big dicks? But not like slightly above average but rather 20 minutes foreplay just to loosen up but still be a fair stretch, big as in a fair amount of lube is needed to even slip the head in and might need more to fully thrust inside

You only need that kind of prep if you're a coward!

THEY ARE RATHER LARGE MEN y'know as far as the bishie style goes. It'd be pretty proportionate of them to be well hung and i'm all about sicknasty size difference and distention if you've got a small enough partner--

Fortunately all three of them are. . .idk graceful enough not to be cruel about it.

Alan is definitely inexperienced and he's already so fucking scared of harming his partner he would just. . .whenever they try and get him in bed he just goes "We can't. Sorry." Fortunately he's not the type to, y'know, beat around the bush so if they ask him he'll explain. . .and if they say they wanna try anyway he'll give it a go but he'll be ready to stop the moment they seem uncomfortable or in pain. Which means a lot of reassurances that it's fine, it's fine, keep going. It'll be a lot of convincing, but he'll be as slow and gentle as he can! His partner would probably have to do a lot of leading. . . . Alternatively he'd be all about getting them off and appreciating their body and when they wanna return the favor he hesitates then says they don't have to. He can take care of it himself if they don't want to. And they're like 'why would I not want--oh' when he pulls out this monster.

Tohma has much more experience and is much more confident overall. When things reach that point with his partner he's a little more direct. Maybe he grinds against them to let them get a subtle feel long before the first time they do it, or he just takes their hand and lets them have a feel for themself. "Do you understand? If we take that route, I'm going to need a fair bit of your time. . . ." He knows just how to prepare them, just how to stretch them out, and he makes certain to pleasure them the whole way--and if they're a little limp from the pleasure buildup then. . .that'll just make it easier to put it in at the end. He might hold them up and gently guide them down onto him. . .use them as a little fleshlight once they've gotten used to it enough.

Jiro isn't even fully aware of that he's particularly large. Like, numerically he is, he's studied anatomy before and he's seen Yuri naked and he's a lot smaller(well, Yuri's smaller in every aspect) but it somehow hadn't occurred to him that it could be a problem. Meanwhile the one who knows is Yuri--and when Jiro's partner shows up, Yuri just looks at them in irritation. "Ah, yes, Jiro did say he had plans today after his treatment." And Yuri just thrusts a particularly large, unlabeled jar of gelatinous fluid at them, telling them not to take too much time because they are very busy and Jiro being occupied is a hindrance. And Jiro's like "oh, Yuri said we'd need a lot. I've read that too much can reduce the pleasure, though. I don't care either way, so just use as much as you want." (Not that he can't feel it or anything, he's just. . .indifferent for the most part. It doesn't bother him if he doesn't come, he'll take care of it later if it's a problem.) And of course they understand why they thought they'd need so much when Jiro whips it out. Jiro's very analytical about the whole thing, once he realizes that hm, yes, this won't fit, but with enough elasticity--he's got no problem figuring out what should be done to prepare. The massive jar of lube may or may not be experimental but it does the job with great efficiency. . .turns out it was an experimental gel for anomalous ailments where the afflicted turn to stone or wood with the intention of relaxing muscles and joints and regaining flexibility, but it works great as a lubricant! Jiro's also not very experienced and his tendency to experiment means he might be a little rough just to see how it all works, but he's considerate enough of his partner not to go too hard once he realizes oh that hurts, huh. Kinda antithetical to the evening's plans.

[manias-wordcount]

Hello!! Could I request some Tighnari fluff? Maybe about reader being like his second in command? (I haven't played Sumeru help) - Azalea <33

When He Needed You (Tighnari x Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗼! 𝘀𝗼 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁!!!

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

When he enters your office, there’s a bit of a drag to his feet.

  You’re surprised you even heard it. You had been sitting at your modest little desk in your messy little office space for hours at this point. Buried knee-deep into piles and piles of paperwork and documents and scientific notebooks that you were filing and filling out with all types of information. Documents of requests and recommendations are tucked away here and there. Patrol reports and observational studies about the surroundings sit on top of them, demanding the most attention. With a few letters thrown in the mix. Some with official seals and fancy calligraphy. Some stained with the leftover of a sugary treat and written crayons. 

  Yet despite this, you heard him. You heard him come in.

  His steps were always light to your ears. It made it so easy for him to surprise you time after time. So to hear the shuffle of his boots was a change worth stealing your attention from all the pieces of paper in competition. Your head turns to the door of your office as your eyes search and search to make sure it is who you think it is. And lo and behold, there he is. Your favorite Forest Watcher- coming in with a troubled look on his face.

  It doesn’t take you long to notice how Tighnari looks different from his usual self. Sure, to most people, you imagine they wouldn’t be able to see much of a difference. But you’d argue that you’re not most people. At least, not to him. Because you’re so used to the subtle confidence he holds within himself as he moves about the world without fear. The way he stands with his back straight and his eyes forward as he cares for all the people and things that he loves. The twitches and movements of his ears as he stands or sits or listens or works or does absolutely anything at all. Those are the things you’ve always noticed. The things you’ve always witnessed about him. The things that are starting to look a little bit different at this moment.

  It becomes clearer as you fully spin around in your chair to face his direction ton watch as he approaches you. There’s a bit of a smile playing on his lips, but it’s not truly a smile. A smile you would like to see on him at least. There are hints of something just hiding underneath. Tiredness or Frustration. Annoyance or Sadness. You’re not quite sure. But what you do know is that it goes too well with that quiet way his boots still drag against the floorboards of your office. And looking at the rest of his body tells a similar story. His shoulders are hunched, and his posture is poor. In fact, his whole body hangs forward as if he has slept in weeks. Not to mention, the way his ears seem almost flat against his hair and the fact that his tail is practically tucked between his legs as he walks forward shares with you that he isn’t okay. Not by a long shot.

  But as much as you want to, you don’t ask him what’s wrong. You don’t have him tell you his troubles. His woes. You were just never offered the chance. 

  Because before you could even get a sound out, he was in front of you, falling on his knees and onto your lap. You couldn’t help the squeak of surprise that you let out from the impact. It just wasn’t something you were expecting- from Tighnari, no less. But there’s not much you could do as he crumples into you, laying his head on your lap and wrapping his arms around your torso while letting out a heavy sigh. It’s a sound full of emotion- you can tell that much even though his face is pressed against your legs. An emotion you still can’t quite identify yet but for now, you decide that it doesn’t quite matter. You can poke and prod and ask him to tell you what's wrong later. Because now? You think he needs a friend.

   You think he needs you.

  And so, you move one of your hands very slowly and very carefully from its spot at your side, trying not to startle him. Despite your carefulness, one of his ears flickers just the tiniest bit as your hand approaches. But he doesn’t offer up any other movement besides adjusting his grip on your torso and tugging himself impossibly closer. It’s hard to think about what could bring your great and powerful Tighnari to such a state. Still, it’s all that’s on your mind as you take in the heat that his body generates and feel his every breath as he lays upon you. But you press forward- moving your hand closer and closer and closer until it finally finds its place on the top of his head.

  Just a breath away from his ears.

  He shivers at the immediate contact, but again he doesn’t move. So you take it as your invitation to run your fingers ever-so-slowly through his silky locks. You’re careful as you press very lightly with your nails to his scalp, only providing the smallest amount of pressure to ensure he feels good as you start to comb your fingers through his hair. And you’re mindful about touching his ears, choosing to cautiously avoid them since he came to you in such a vulnerable and upset state. But most of all? You’re gentle.

  Gentle as you hope to provide a loving and calming touch through these little acts and gestures. Gentle as you try to give him a sense of warmth and stability and peace to counter the emotions you know must have been swirling around his head and body before he came to you. Gentle as you speak to him quietly about whatever and whoever knows what at this point. Your work. What you’re making for dinner tonight. The breeze. A letter you just read. What you packed and ate for lunch. All the things you’ve been dreading cleaning up. How you’re happy you got to see him today. Even if he wouldn’t consider this one of his best visits.

  You do this because you knew he wasn’t feeling well when he came in. So you swore you’d do this until you knew his mood improved and he was in a better state. That meant letting your piles of paperwork and documents and scientific notebooks sit and sit as their ink dries. And that meant secretly waving away people as they try to approach your office door, noticing that you were occupied. And that meant stroking his hair and whispering to him for as long as possible. For as long as he wanted you to.

  For as long as he needed you to. 

    So by the first time he shifts and loosens his grip on your body, you find that your arm and your hand ache, and the sun had now lowered itself in the sky enough to coat your office in a dusty pink color. And when he finally pulls his head away, you realize that while he was snoozing away on your lap, your legs are totally and completely asleep. But there is no way you could get mad at him for this. There’s no way. Not as he turns to you with a lighter expression on his face. Eyes half-lidded, yet full of soft smiles and warmth. And his ears standing tall upon his head as he looks at you.

  “Thank you…” Comes his murmur. A murmur that isn’t quite like the Tighnari you know so well. But a sound you’re oh-so glad to hear from him in a moment such as this one. “Thank you… for doing this for me.”

  Because it’s a sound that you let know that you were able to be there for him when he needed you most. 

  “Anytime, leader.”

  You were able to be there for him when he needed you.

[jolapeno]

vi. believe in us

javier peña x dea! f!reader | chapter six of nowhere to run

chapter warnings: season three narcos spoilers. no use of y/n. hints at smut. jo-feels. feelings realisation. things are getting deeeeep. Wordcount: 7.1k an: i know people tell me not to apologise for the length, but i'm trying to follow the episodes hahaha. if there are errors, i'm sorry. pls forgive me. as always, huge thank you to @yeyinde who loves these characters as much as me and to @guyfieriii who lets me chew their ear off about them far too much to be real.

series masterlist

“Fuck, I can’t believe he knows we’re…”

We’re. 

Barely a millisecond goes by, but time slows. 

“We’re?”

“Having fun.” 

He feels his shoulders shrink, the earlier annoyance melting as if it was nothing—like it was never there. Replaced by something far harder to stomach, something which wrapped around his insides and yet didn’t constrict to hurt, just hung loosely, torturously there.

“Cariño, I think we’re having a bit more than fun…”

You throw him a sharp look—one made from a mixture of ice and a blade. “It’s not going to matter what we’re doing, not now he knows.”

But, what are we doing? He wants to ask, mouth opening all set to. His hand rising, thumb swiping over his bottom lip, tightening his jaw as he realises this isn’t the time.

Not from the anxious way you’re biting at your lower lip, not in the way you’re hugging your arms close—not in how you occasionally flick your eyes to him, panic swirling, mixing with something he’s not sure he has the answers to help with.

It’s hard not to stare at the cup on your desk. 

The one sitting amongst the mindless chatter that blends with the dull, constant noise of a phone ringing and surrounded by the sounds of tapping—all at different speeds, intensities and types. The sounds circle around the speckles of dust, the ones swirling in with the sunlight, desperate to get in from the outside. 

Light tries, with all of its might, to kiss away the darkness. The one which clings to the walls. The dark wood, the walls—even the blinds. Desk lights are a permanent fixture if you plan to do anything but squint. Not that you mind.

You don’t need the sun to warm your cheeks, just the cup and its implications. 

The one grabbed in between dropping you home and him heading into the office; the one already waiting for you to get in. Your skin is still damp from your rushed shower—your body still sore from spending a night with him. 

It's easy, when it shouldn’t be—sleeping with him, your boss. All casual, fun and no strings but a whole twisted bundle of mess, too. One that would be so easy to worsen or fix. 

The coffee inside that cup doesn’t alleviate any of it. 

Not even as you try to tell yourself it’s nothing. The same way you do when you’re in the middle of something, and your eyes catch his, finding his usually coiffed hair has become frayed at the edges. It makes you want to go in and soothe away whatever has forced him to play with it. But you don’t, trying to hold yourself back—knowing what happens when you usually enter his office.  

“Everyone else has gone home.”“They have.” “So, do you want to have sex on your desk again?” He studies you, eyes dark, thumb tracing his jaw as you slide the fabric of your skirt up. Catching his brow raising, feeling your way up his tie, his body subconsciously moving between your legs. “Let you do it from behind this time,” you whisper. He turns you, running a hand up the back of your thigh, the other gripping your hip.“You thought about it… fucking me from behind, leaning over your desk?” His lips curl, breath along your cheek. “Every time your eyes look at me through the fucking blinds.” 

It had been messy since he’d showed up at your place, even if Javi hadn’t come to your house again. Instead, it’s his place—the office becoming risky. Even if the memories remain, to the point you’re unable to even be in the file room without some reminder flashing behind your eyes or hearing him whisper into your ear, Anyone else made you moan right here, cariño. 

The coffee had begun appearing on your desk when he dropped you off at home before heading in. A pretence, a suitable cover story. Arriving in two cars, leaving in two—no one knowing he drives to yours half an hour after he’s left to pick you up. 

You rarely have to miss the way he buries his nose close to your ear; how he lets his lips whisper silk into them—his broad chest hugging your spine. You barely have to think about his mouth between your thighs, you get to experience it. Not nightly, but close. 

“You gonna be quiet?”You pause, silence blanketing the two of them before you whisper, “No.”

You’re in too deep, that much is known. 

The house of cards the two of you had poorly built, were waiting to fall and crush you. The line having become so blurred and so knitted with emotions, you’re suddenly worrying why you’re not desperate to run from them.

Because you don’t want serious.

Having continued this because he never seemed the type. Wouldn’t have let it get so far if he did.

Now, you were finding it hard not to let yourself slip. Not just because he cared or because he toed doing right and wrong, or even because he was handsome. But rather, that there was something undeniably easy about him. It’s more than simple charm and grit—more than lingering eyes across a room and a feeling that blooms like wildfires in a field of nothing. 

You wonder if he knows, senses it: your unease. The way you flitter between letting him and banishing him. It’s why you stare at the coffee, unsure if today you should drink it. Reading the label, seeing no note—knowing there never is one. There not needing to be one. 

You know who purchased you the coffee. The same one who you sense behind you before he speaks, the one you stand up and turn to face—grabbing the white cup in your palm as you stare at him. 

Letting anger bubble to the surface, replacing the other emotions, the ones you spend far too much energy fighting than resolving. 

“I know what you’ve done.” 

Javi has the decency to look taken back. 

Even if you know each microexpression—having become literate in Peña, both the faux and the real. 

Stepping back, he cocks his head. An invite into his office, as if you ever needed one before. But, you follow—perfectly in step, able to read his body as if the two of you were back under the sheets. 

“What have I done then, cariño?”

“Don’t butter me up, Peña.” Lifting the cup in a demonstration, halting his smile before it grows into a smirk—half-wondering if you’ve been added to the list of women who have. “You think I wouldn’t hear about the phone tap?”

His eyes narrow, jaw tightening. “Stoddard…” 

“I know shit, Peña.” 

Stepping closer, you take a sip of the coffee. Instantly, you hate him for how good it tastes. That you know it’s from the place near yours, the one you foolishly told him about and now keeps going. 

Shaking your head, you sigh. “Stop hiding things from me.” 

“I wasn’t… fuck, you’re good.” 

“I know. Wish you’d stop being surprised by it.” 

His smirk always meets his eyes. Spreads across his cheeks—smoothing out worry lines and creates ones of beauty in its place. It’s hard not to notice, not with the way his eyes shimmer and how his lustful gaze wraps you in honey.  

“I’m not.”

Narrowing your eyes, you exhale. Loudly. Moving around him, staring over his desk—the many more files added onto the pile he hasn’t cleared, taking another sip.

“You are, and it’s deeply upsetting. I can’t take bullets for you, if you don’t tell me we’re going to be shot at.” Your hand picking up a file, shoving it into his chest. “Do I make myself clear?” 

His thumb swipes over his bottom lip, not hiding the way his eyes look you up and down. Slowly. Almost trawling them up and down you, lighting you on fire in the same way his tongue did last night. 

“Maybe I should have sent you to Cali? Have the rest of them caught before they know what hit them.” 

Your lips curl, a coldness falling over you—a twist in your chest, one you can’t fault him for, knowing he couldn’t be to blame. 

“Javi, you’d stop me before I even got in the air,” you bite back, the tease evident but the usual tone removed. “You’d miss having something to fuck other than your fist.” 

Sometimes, the day drags on, and others it hurls nothing but surprises. 

Today, you arrived to find both a coffee and a piece of fruit—making you smile so broadly that even Stoddard noticed. 

You blame that for the reason you don’t stop him from taking you by the elbow hours later—the first sign which should have rang alarm bells. Javi pulls you with him, saying nothing—feeling warm fingers along your elbow that make your heart skip a beat.

He leads you right through his doorway, your file clutching to your chest. It’s not until the door slides shut behind him do you realise all your thoughts are diluted, muted. His presence doing that. That and the fucking scent of him. The one you’ve come to despise washing from your skin the moment he drops you off, so the two of you can continue the story that he doesn’t spend random nights of the week fucking you into his mattress. 

The scent of him clings, a fixture. One which mixes so easily with the air, your nose becomes desperate to take it all in, as though if you don’t, it’ll all be wasted. 

You wait for him to shut the blinds, and enjoy a stolen moment, but find you watch as his hands slide to his hips. An unsettling feeling unwinding from a dark corner. Knotting, needling into you as you try to level your breathing. 

“Javi…” 

“Is Stoddard’s job meant to be yours?”

You notice his eyes don't move. Paying attention, fixated on your micro-expressions. 

“The day you first spoke to me. I asked you what they—“

Running your tongue across your teeth, you straighten your spine. “You asked what they gave me.” 

They cut, your words. Slice straight through whatever it is he’s implying. Halting whatever else was due to fall from his lips, stopping him from speaking as his lips clamp together, pinning him in place.

He lifts his chin, a hand coming to brush over his jaw and neck. “Were you offered Stoddard’s job, cariño?” 

You swallow, somehow able to keep your face unchanged even if your fingers twitch, your back relaxing, before you shake your head. It's easier to look away, the festering acerbity doubling as you turn your back to him.

“Yes.” 

He snorts. It's loud, quickly followed by the sound of his shirt moving as he likely runs his fingers through his hair. 

“Fuck. Why—why didn’t you… you should have told me. You fuckin' lied—“

You don't bother to smother the fury in your eyes, you throw it at him, burn him with it. “No. I didn’t lie, Peña. You asked what they gave me, implying I took it. I didn’t take it. I declined it, I resigned myself to shitting desk duty and let him have it.” 

His face doesn't change, not even under your stare. “You should have taken it.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re fuckin' good, you’re… you do the right thing, you know everything that goes on in this place, cariño—“

“I’d have taken it. If I had earned it,” you spit, looking him up and down. “I’d have ripped it out of their goddamn hands and plastered my fucking name on that desk. But, it wasn’t offered to me because I’m good, because I know what I’m doing. It's a trap, a way to get me to stop... pushing, stop finding things. And you know it. You must do. Read all about it in the fuckin' file you have on me." 

It’s instant, the way his stare softens, panic spreading in his eyes. The way your words make him lose his breath, the tension shifting and transforming into something wounded—uprooted from the growing rage and apparent injustice he felt he’d faced. 

Smirking, you lick your own lips. "Yeah, Javi, I know about that too.”

He drops his arm, moving towards you, with no emotion in your eyes. “I don’t know shit because you won’t tell me.” 

You stare, coldly. Taking a second, a moment. Already knowing he can tell you’re rattled, stressed. You’ve allowed him to get close enough to be able to tell. He knows what makes you tick, what undoes you—what makes you go from one to a hundred.  

Transferring his skill at reading people to you, likely creating some encyclopaedia solely dedicated to just your micro-expressions. In the same way, he has written mental papers about what a flick of his tongue or a nip of his teeth can do. Never mind the little things that make up your mood. 

“Lemme guess, Stechner?” you ask, folding your arms as he nods. “Maybe you should ask him why they wanted me to take the job, Peña. Because I’m not the one who lied.” 

He sighs, nothing being said as you slowly swallow. 

“I can’t tell you shit—I… I thought I made that clear.”

“You can tru—“

“It’s not about trust, Peña.” 

It comes out harsher, more like fire than ice. 

Sunshine yellow, splintered sobs, carmine-stained palms… whimpered pleading, panicked breaths. Blood-splattered walls and shredded bedding…

You sigh too, softer, less loud. “I wouldn’t lie to you. I may not tell you everything, but…” You roll your lips, staring around the glass room. “Fuck, I can’t believe he knows we’re…”

We’re. 

Barely a millisecond goes by, but time slows. 

“We’re?”

“Having fun.” 

The words hurry out, even if you hate them. They’re not the right descriptors, but you’re not sure which ones would be better. Not now. Not when it had gone too far. With true having already slithered its way through openings that shouldn’t exist. Having moulded itself into creating something less carnal and more needed. So much so, the list of excuses are running short, finding only reasons why you keep letting him in then why you should keep him away. 

The truth of it all is so easily there, simmering and ready. Yet, you don’t allow them to escape, not needing to show him your hand—to let him see how easy it has been to weave under your walls and layers. Especially when you’ve spent so much time keeping him out. 

Then you see his eyes, how they’re wide but hardened, his lips clamped together, tight. Your walls are threatening to quiver and fall at the sight. 

“Cariño, I think we’re having a bit more than fun…”

“It’s not going to matter what we’re doing, not now he knows.” 

You watch as his mouth opens, but no words come. Just his hand rising, thumb swiping over his bottom lip as his jaw tightens—sliding from side to side.

Shaking your head, you banish it—what his words would have been, what they could have been. The back of your hand against your forehead. “Shit…”

“What?”

You laugh. More hysterical, more out of surprise and acidic emotions as you process—slower than normal, going as far as to pinch your forearm to see if it’s real. 

“He has me over a barrel. One wrong move… it all comes down.”

Javi steps closer to you, fingers on your cheek, lifting your eyes to his. “Wait, what?”

You don’t mean it, the look of disbelief, but it flurries across your face—unable to mask it quickly enough. “C’mon, Javi, you don’t think now if you defend me, if you argue with them, ask them for anything related to me, they won’t think it’s because I snaked my way into your bed? Because newsflash, that’s how things work, Javi. Women—good women—get plastered with only being half as good because of the company they keep.” 

You run a hand over your mouth as you pull away from him, slowly sinking down into a chair as you bury your face. 

For a second, you can hear him not move, just breathing. A sound you’re so used to finding calming as night blankets his room. When you’re frozen out of fear of waking him. Now you’re frozen because you're unsure what to do. No plan B. No get-out clause you’ve created for yourself. 

“Cariño…”

“You don’t get it, Javi. You haven’t dated someone in your workplace and had them gossip about you like women have. When you fuck around, you’re a hero. If I do it, if women do it….” His jaw tightens, all noticeable, running his own fingers over his chin. “It doesn’t matter if I’m good, I’m not a man. It’s why I was the one gossiping about when things ended with Chris, when I got back from Cali and was deemed unstable. Now, sleeping with you?”

“Hey—“

“You know, if he fucked his way through the department, no one would bat an eyelid. I do it, I’m trying to sleep my way to the top.”

He moves, crouching before you, pressing his hand over the top of your knee. “But you’re not.” 

Smiling, you sigh softly, leaning back into the chair. “No. No, I’m not.” 

He tightens his hand on yours. 

“You have places to be...” 

He looks at you through his lashes, whispering your name. Making it sound gentle, nice.

Blinking, you harden your face. Tightening your jaw as you lift your chin. “I don’t need your pity, Javi. I… I’m a grown woman, who I choose to fuck shouldn’t matter, not when it’s nothing serious—“

“—Look—“

“—I just need you to do your job, Peña.” You stand, his hand falling from your knee, face void, empty. Expression wiped from all corners of his face. “Because all of this, between us, isn’t worth undoing all the work we’ve done—you have done.” 

Your feet move you to the door on shaky legs, hands almost trying to tremble by your sides—clamped down firmly at your sides to stop them. Thinking of Cali, thinking of her.

Graffiti-covered walls; scarlet clinging to matted curls. 

He says your name. Calls it louder than he should—the one he whispers when he’s holding you in place on top of him, the one he groans against your ear when you’re pinned under his weight. 

It’s different hearing it here—with a vulnerable tinge to it, a pleading one. It’s why you don’t stop..

Sunshine yellow, splintered sobs, carmine-stained palms…

You hate yourself—that you let it merge into this, let it develop, twist and mature. 

Leaving before he finished a meeting, heading home and turning out the lights as wine soaked your throat in the dark. It was easier, you lied to yourself—feeling the hole opening up inside of you as you tried to sew yourself closed. 

He doesn’t avoid you, like you try to avoid him. 

Involving you, pulling you in to listen to the wiretap as though you’ll have some added opinion on it—an insight they’ve not thought of. Your argument-not-argument mouldering in the corner, Stoddard blissfully unaware. Either that or he’s become a good actor.

Your silence is telling, not meeting his eyes is a further statement. 

A slither of you mad that instead of admitting he means something, you try and convince yourself it’s the exact opposite. Further worsening it when you allow him to leave, to go—on some inane advice that has been drilling a hole in your chest since the moment he left. 

“Where are you off too?”“Gonna give something a push.”It drops, plummets—your gut. Lands right at your feet in a mess you’re not sure how to clean up. Shuffling the transcripts in your hand, you paint a smile. Having become a professional at it, well-taught, well-practised. “What?”You must give him a look, one which screams volumes because his expression softens. Plus, he’s lingering. Shifting his weight, brows slowly dipping, that same line appearing. —and now he knows we’re…We’re?Having fun.“Do that thing with your tongue…” you say, voice cracking, but you hope you style it. Even if he’s narrowing his eyes as he looks you up and down. Even if it takes all of you to force your lips into a grin. “It would get me to talk.”“You’re—““Wonderful, amazing—brilliant?”“Frustrating.”You hand him a transcript. “Clockwise, then anticlockwise. Have a good afternoon, sir.” 

He’s been back an hour. 

Hiding in the shut-blind room with Stoddard, fighting all temptation to go in there even if you’d been invited. An excuse flows from your tongue before you stop it, dipping your head to drive it home—feeling the hole widen to a crater in your chest.

Choosing to sit in the sidelines—more than you already do—rather than listen to the ways he got the information needed, even if you’re the one who pushed him to begin with. Especially when you’re aware of his past. 

It’s why it grates—peels. Finding yourself standing exposed and fearful, afraid he can see through it all and knows that you care. Something you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t let happen. 

You’re so lost in it, your apparent failure—your confused feelings—you don’t notice the shadow over your desk until the mug is placed down in front of you. Barely able to blink, staring at it before looking up at him. Tapping your pen, scrunching your lips as you narrow your gaze. 

“What’s this?” 

“A peace offering.” 

Leaning back, you sigh. “We’re fine, Peña.”

He smirks—knowingly. As though he’s rifled through your mind and found all the evidence attesting how much of a lie that is. 

You’re usually better. Harder to read and less easy to predict, but then, most people hadn’t snapped your underwear from your thigh and pocketed it before they made you come undone on their sofa. 

“Fine, I need a favour.”

Groaning, you roll your eyes. “Here we go.” 

“Do you fancy calling the SLS?” 

Your brows lift, smirking. “I do not.” 

And he knows it too. Which is why he’s standing—smirk present, delicious brown eyes softening just the amount to make him look cute and docile. Like a fucking puppy. 

“You fancy sharing the number?” 

Snorting, you glance down at your papers. “You don’t fancy asking your deputy for that information?” 

Resting his palms on your desk, you still hear him lick his lips and catch the sight of it just as you look up. “Please, cariño.” 

You should torture him. Make him wait. 

For no reason other than to grasp some form of control over the situation. Everything unravelling, things mixing and blending where they shouldn’t be. Emotions which should be firmly out of this, very much in the centre, doubling, tripling—

“Fine,” you groan, grabbing your notebook of numbers and a scrap bit of paper. 

He smirks, almost grinning. “I could kiss you.” 

“I wouldn’t. Had garlic for lunch, and… you’ve likely had your fill for the day. Right?”

“Jealous?” 

Yes. Your face blanks, hiding the answer which hurries its legs to your tongue—the one which has been burrowing a hole in your chest since he’d gone earlier. 

The one, you suspect, is the reason most people are avoiding you today. The very thing which is forcing you to carve the tip of your pen into the paper and almost through the desk. 

Leaning, you tap your pen against the desk. “Only if you did the tongue move on her, Javi.”

“The one you suggested?” 

You snort, handing him the piece of paper as you stand. 

“Is that all, Peña?”

His smile drops, soft at first—just at the edges. And then, all at once. It falls from his eyes, concern weaving into his forehead and brows as you stand, grabbing some files, not even sure which ones, as you begin to straighten them on your desk. 

You should smile, smirk. Laugh it off. But, it’s balling up in your throat—tasting like acid and regret, getting heavier and heavier as it trickles down to your tongue and the back of your teeth. 

“Remember I’m leaving early today,” you announce, more clinical, more formal. “So if you require further help, Neil can help.” 

You almost wince, almost. Able to stop yourself as Stoddard’s first name falls from your tongue. The one you never use. The one which doesn’t suit leaving your lips as you step around your desk. 

And you pray he doesn’t grab you, doesn’t place his palm on your forearm or cup your elbow. You hope he doesn’t lead you to his office, force you to talk until you’re cracked open and wading in feelings you’d rather bury.  

He doesn’t. 

Stepping back as he nods. Firm. Detached. 

Exactly what you want… yet it hurts. It wounds. It nicks tiny cuts into your skin so it stings in the office air and bleeds you slowly.  

Usually, you hate being home. But tonight, it’s lively.

Almost like it once was. It's all bathed in music, laughter and steam. So lost in it, the freeness of normalcy, you don’t expect it to be him when you send Matías to open the door. 

It doesn’t even cross your mind until you hear Matías greeting the male voice, the one your body knows quicker than your mind, feet carrying you to the hallway for his eyes to land on you. 

Eyes that find you over the bare, shirtless shoulders of Matías—the dish in your hand almost toppling as you take a breath, throat dry. Suddenly racking your brain, all lightheaded, wondering if the two of you had made plans that you’d forgotten about. 

“Javi?”

“Hey, I was—I should—”

Matías turns, staring at you. 

Giving you that look, the one you normally are able to shut down but find difficult with the evidence presented in front of you. Aye, you’re not interested in complications, huh? 

All you can do is narrow your eyes. Please, do not make this more uncomfortable. 

He wants to—you can tell. The same look on his face that you used to see on another. One that almost mirrors it, reminding you of game nights and far too much alcohol you still don’t know the name of. Thankfully, he takes pity, not pushing, turning back to speak to Javi directly. 

Your boss.

“Matías…”

He’s not listening. Explaining he’s going—that the two of you are done anyway. His Spanish is so quick, it takes a second for your mind to translate, making it too late to interject. 

Not that you can think—not as Javi’s eyes drag up and down your legs, suddenly very aware of the short-shorts and the amount of thigh on show. How it looks bad. All of it. 

You’re aware of it. 

Even if there’s no reason to worry, this is nothing. A lie you don’t believe but continue to hum to yourself like a tune you can never get out of your head. 

You feel Matías kiss your cheek, soft, hand on your shoulder as he does. “He’s cute. Be good, senorita. You deserve good.” 

His words take a second, the Spanish flowing into your ears as he takes the dish from your hands—the one which has warmed your palms to almost burning. His t-shirt draped over his shoulder, looking far too smug for someone who doesn’t know how to cook anything. 

It’s not until he walks past Javi do you move, do you unfreeze and find your feet can move from their position on your tiled floor. 

Running the back of your hand against your forehead, you sigh. “Hello?”

“Hi.” 

You snort. “Come on in.” 

Even though he’s been here before, it feels different. It’s less sad and pathetic, wine in your glass for a reason not to bury the day but rather energise it. The air is humming with scents, spices and the sound of upbeat music playing from some distant corner. Your lights are on, and low, adding an ambience to your place that could be seen as odd for two friends who have been merely laughing and cooking. 

You spot him taking it all in, eyes dragging across walls, ornaments and photo frames he clearly didn’t take in last time. A smile threatens to spill out until he lands on the half-full wine glass and the very much empty one.

You move, heading into the small kitchen, moving things, tidying. A need to keep busy as you throw a cloth over your shoulder. 

“So—” 

“He’s my neighbour, Javi.” 

He relaxes—you hear it. From the soft exhale through his nose to his muscles practically untightening from his bones.. A part of you sighs in relief that he believes your truth. The jealousy falls from the air as though it was never there, to begin with.  Javi points at the sink. “You want a hand?”

It’s the way he looks at you that undoes you. His eyes are all soft again, so genuine. No ulterior motive currently. Not here to talk about work or have any discussion to do with drugs, money laundering or death. 

Smiling, you shift your weight on your legs. “You any good?” 

“I do alright.”

“I don’t believe you.”

He laughs, and it shouldn’t be the sweetest sound—but it is. Especially like this, lighter, more heart filled. “My mama raised me well, bonita. I know how to take care of a home—grew up on a ranch, actually.” 

“You’re a rancher, huh?” 

He smiles broader as you lean against the counter, blocking the sink. 

“Damn straight.” 

“Not your current profession, though, is it? Because I know that’s currently being a pain in my ass.” 

He nudges you, stepping around you as he dips a finger into the water to check its temperature, splashing your skin with parts of it as he gets close. “I can be a pain in your ass, cariño. Just say the word.” 

You smirk, grabbing a towel trying not to watch as he rolls his sleeves up, your throat drying again—but for completely different reasons. “You wash, I’ll dry.”

Nodding, he mumbled a quick, “You got it,” one quickly buried under a held-back laugh that slowly leaves your lips. It partially merges with a breath, the rest falling into the air, settling. 

The first dish handed to you, taking it from him with far too much ease, as though this is normal. As if him being here is normal. 

It feels it as the drums fade into piano keys. As you take a bowl this time, drying it until you place it down, another laugh emerges in your throat that greets the air. 

“What?”

Shaking your head, you take the next plate from him, glancing at the bubbles which slide down the porcelain surface. “Javi Peña is washing my dishes. And it’s not even a euphemism.” 

He has a beautiful smile. One you’re sure by now you count paint with your fingers if you were any sort of artist. You’d thought it was nice the moment he first let you see it. But, you find it's his smirk that does the most damage to you—undoes something in you. 

He searches for the next dish in the steaming water, bubbles sliding around his wrists and forearms, hairs clinging to his skin as you try not to let your ears burn as he keeps glancing at you, noting the implication—the realisation. 

“I can bet my entire next paycheck that you’ve done a lot of things in women’s kitchens, but not done the dishes.” 

His eyes glint under the lights, holding your gaze as you feel your bare cheeks warm under them. You know that look, it’s the undoing of all your sensibility. It quiets the voice that says the two of you should stop, not needing to create more mess, more complication. 

One you usually banish away with your lips. 

“I like my kitchen sanitary,” you comment, nudging him. “Eyes on the dishes, Peña.”

“So, the neighbour?”

“A friend of a friend—who lives across the street. So, partial-neighbour.” He nods, but you know that’s not what he wants to know. Can tell, slowly finding him so easy to read. “And he’s surprising his boyfriend with a cooked meal—I offered my kitchen.”

Javi smiles, brushing the sponge over a plate. “You do cooking lessons then?” 

“No. But, he looked out for my place, when I was…” Your eyes drop to the glass in your hand. “He’s a good guy, and it gave me something to do other than fucking my boss.”

“Sounds like a professional boss.” 

“Got a great moustache, though.” 

The two of you not saying anything more until you're done. Occasional glances, tension thrumming, vibrating. Some threads of it want to abandon washing and kiss him; other threads want to ask him why he's here.

The thought recurring as you eventually hand him a drink, watching him sit down on your sofa, as you join him. Purposefully sitting a seat away from him. 

You’d chosen something less uptempo, more gentle as the air fills with piano keys and soft lulling voices. It follows the same ambience as the lighting. A perfect match—a solid blend. The room bathed in warm yellow and pretty gold, his red shirt standing out, but he’d stand out all the same. 

Even if it feels normal—usual. 

Javi always shines a little bit brighter in your eyes. 

Each gesture, each expression always noted—your eyes struggling to break from him. It’s why you notice his fingers gesturing for your legs, studying you as you smirk and throw them up, drinking from your glass of red as berries stain your lips. 

All you can think about is him tasting them—sweeping his tongue across your bottom lip until your spine is pressed into the cushions of your sofa. You’d not ruined your sofa with him, hadn’t had him between your thighs here. 

From his quietness, he’s thinking something too. 

Something which makes him drag his eyes up and down your legs, makes his hand go from drawing a shape to sliding the tips of them up and down your calf. 

“You think loudly, you know that?”

He laughs, and it’s beautiful. Nothing held back, letting it flow from his throat to your ears. 

“First time I’ve been told I think, cariño.”

It’s easy to smile around him. He halts the thoughts which run so free and wild in your head, only somewhat deafened when he’s not. 

“You need to talk about work or…” 

He snorts, taking a long sip. “Talking about anything would be good for me, cariño.” 

You feel guilty for it. How you use him—even if you’re sure he’s been using you too. Both running from something, both trying to dull whatever it is living on both your shoulders. Although, you weren’t sure if it was the same now. 

Foolishly, you had ruined it, tampered with it in his office. Changed things. Began pulling on the thread until you toppled it all over days ago. Now you worry he’ll want more than you can give him. Need more from you than you have spare to share with him. Not at all sure how you allowed emotions to slip through the net. How things having gone from simple fucking to wanting to have your legs over his lap—to him washing dishes and drinking whiskey in your glass. Whiskey you bought for him, even if he never really came here. 

A just-in-case purchase. 

“Okay… you tell me one thing, and then I tell you one thing.” 

You think of Van Ness, of the many ways he had tried to get information out of you as you lay vertically in bed, unwilling to sleep and refusing to eat. A game he presented, frustration stitched into his forehead, but a determination fermenting in his bones. 

Dragging his tongue over his bottom lip, he nods, half-smiling. “Alright.” The tip of his fingernail tapping against your lower leg. “I’ll bite.”

Swirling your glass, you eye him over it. Thinking.

Trying to unpick why it’s normal, why it doesn’t feel odd that he didn’t call, that he just showed up and fits in all so well. The answer there, hanging in the corner—the evidence hammering against the walls you force yourself to throw up. 

You know why; you know how.

“Tell me something you’re ashamed of, that I wouldn’t already know.”

He sniggers, looking down, staring at the melting ice cubes in his glass. “But, you already know so much about me and my past mistakes.”

“Yeah, well,” you add. “You’re a fascinating read.” 

From the way he’s not lifted his chin, there’s something.

One big thing he’s thought up instantly. One that makes his broad shoulders tense and his jaw tighten. A secret, a regret, that likely comes out when he’s stuck in traffic—which has kept him up at night. A thing which makes him as reserved as you. 

“I almost got married once.”

“Yeah?”

“Left her… I left her at the altar.” 

You look at him, not moving your leg from over his lap, continuing to sip the wine. Not wanting to move, not wanting him to stop—

“Saw her. Before coming out here. Made me glad I did it, y’know? She’s happy—got a husband, kids.” 

His fingers strum against your leg. 

Clearing your throat, you place your glass down on your thigh. “You should be glad you didn’t marry her because you clearly didn’t want to.” 

“That too.” 

You add nothing more. Silence wrapping its heavy hands around you both as he begins to lightly tap quicker against your leg, taking the smallest of sips, waiting for you.  

“If I were her, I’d be embarrassed, but grateful.” He lifts his chin, staring at you from the side as you tilt your head to meet his gaze. “I wouldn’t want someone to marry me because of obligation—I’d want them to choose me because they wanted me.”

His lips twitch, likely turning over your words, really considering them before nodding. It’s quick. Enough to make a piece of hair he’s been playing with fall over his forehead.  

Then, he relaxes, shoulders meeting the back of your sofa as he slides his fingers in softer, slower circles on your leg. 

“Your turn.” 

Smiling, you lean back into your cushion. “What do you wanna know?”

It dances in his eyes: Everything. 

Likely wishes to crack you open and see all of it. All the things not in his piss-poor file and the things not whispered around the office. 

Probably what happened in Cali and why you have resigned yourself to a desk. Why you entered his office that first day, why you’re— 

“Why’d you and Fiestl end things?” 

“That’s what you want to know?” 

Javi shifts his hips under your legs, licking his bottom lip. “I don’t want to ask something that you’re not willing to share. Want you to trust me.” 

You chew that, whatever words you had been rearing and desperate to say wilting away. Instead, you place your glass down on your coffee table. Clearing your hands. 

“Wasted question, but okay. I think, if we were honest with one another, we weren’t happy before I left for Cali. We’d… argued quite a bit. Even moved some of my things back.”

Swallowing, you stare off a little. Finding the scuff on one of the stools against the kitchen side. The one which had gotten caught on your bag one day, having flung to the floor and been scuffed against the kitchen tile. 

A reminder—a slither of something to show it was all real, and not make-believe. 

“Sometimes things heal when you leave them alone. Sometimes they worsen—the crack deepens,” you continue. “Ours was the latter. It’s hard when you’re competing—when you’re all trying to stand out—to get the good jobs. Cali to him meant more, but it was me who was sent. So…” 

You’re aware of his hand stroking up and over your knee. Waiting, letting the pieces of your story knit together like a puzzle he’ll unravel later. One you used to try and figure out, nights bleeding into day and still never close to solving. 

Further shattering when Cali took any chance of salvation. 

“You also don’t…really come back the same. Do you?” 

He waits for a beat, one which makes it feel all that much worse. “No.” 

You let out a shaky breath, reaching back for your glass, draining it. Removing your legs from him, considering curling them up under you as you try to smile.

It’s too much—him, being this close. 

Knowing if he looks hard enough, he’ll see all the imperfections covered so well with nice clothing and a hard stare; he’ll see the parts of you that have healed wrong, and the wounds which are still open. 

Yet, you want him closer. 

A part of you—the one without sense and any semblance of worry. The part which calls to him, that worries for him, that has begun to care more than you should ever have done. 

It’s why you take his glass before moving over him, leg on either side of his thighs, staring down into his eyes and allowing him the chance to stare into yours. 

They’re always soft, and warm—sometimes with a darkness that you hope sweeps over you, sometimes full of sparkles and lust. Other times, they’re wired with energy, almost vibrant as his mind turns and his brain concocts. 

It’s why he’s a good agent. Why he thinks ahead, why you know he’s not going to stop. 

You trace up his neck with your index finger, finding yourself being studied all over again.

“Why’d you come round, Javi?” 

Your lips are so close to his, the scent of whiskey mixing with the spices from the food you’d been cooking earlier, hanging all heavy in the air around you both. 

Slowly, he places his hands on your hips. “Think it’s my turn to ask a question, cariño.”

But, you don’t say anything. 

Watching him, sliding two fingers along his jaw, holding his gaze, watching his resolve screw up like a piece of paper. 

“I wanted you to know that I didn’t sleep with her. Didn’t take your advice about my tongue.”

You don’t move, fingers halting on his cheek. 

A thread strummed inside of you, forcing your lips to slide into a smile and your eyes to hold his. 

“That’s an odd thing to tell your secretary.” 

“You’re not my secretary.” 

You grin, and you can tell he wants to kiss it. About the same amount as you want to press your mouth to his and your body against his until you only hear your name. The one he says so often. 

“Are you trying to tell me I’m the only one, Peña? Is that it?”

Flicking your eyes over him, he slowly licks his lips. Your hips are desperate to roll, your body needing friction as he flicks his eyes from your mouth to your eyes, before placing his palms on your thighs. 

They’re warm. Soft. Slowly and torturously fanning each finger out over the skin as you lightly inhale—loud enough for him to hear. 

“Maybe I am.” 

It’s thick, the tension. Both of you are waiting, staring, unsure who’ll snap first. 

So he adds, “I’m not sleeping with anyone else, cariño.”

He watches you, and how his words land. See something flicker in his eyes, something pleading—something you want to answer but find the words can’t come. 

It’s just you, too. 

You will them. Almost want to shout them, but instead, you offer, “Kiss me.” 

“You sure?” 

Your eyes close, sliding your palms up his cheeks. “How long till your flight?”

“Few hours.” 

Opening your eyes, you burn the words into him. It’s just you, I hate it, but it’s you and only you. “Please kiss me, Javi.” 

And he does. 

chapter seven ->

[yukine-sakamoto]

Just started the debut arc in Shadows House (ep. 4&5), and it’s really frustrating me. I mean the whole thing is really well done, but this test is obnoxious. (Although, I think that’s the point; we’re being shown how arbitrary and biased the house is.) Seriously, a test that you haven’t been prepared for, with unclear and subjective criteria, judged by a clearly biased individual? It’s everything I hated about all my worst teachers rolled up into one.

But it also highlights something that’s been bothering me since the first episode: The whole “not worry about trivial matters” thing. It’s something directly encouraged in the dolls because their masters think they want a perfect little servant who does only and exactly what they’re told, no more no less. However, creativity has been indirectly rewarded throughout the show thus far, which requires more abstract thought: Emilico fixing the stuffed doll or saving rosemary or finding the source of the phantom. Now with the debut, it seems the first part was a test of each doll’s ability to be their master’s face, yet the second part is very clearly creative problem solving. There’s so much contradiction.

It’s also strange that the test thus far seems more focused on the dolls rather than the shadows. I would expect a normal aristocratic debut to be focused on the young masters not the servants. They have mentioned a few times that they need to be “useful” to the house and to the grandfather without really stating what that means. Perhaps it’s a roundabout way to test the shadows self-sufficiency and control over their soot. (I highly suspect that all the shadows can control soot.)

I’ve also really enjoyed meeting more shadow/doll pairs. John is absolutely fantastic. He gives zero shits in the best way. Confident but not arrogant, jovial but not air-headed, kind but not a push-over. I especially liked that he immediately called out Edward on how arbitrary the test was. Also just exploding himself out of captivity and generally doing whatever the fuck he wants. It is a bad look to propose to someone you’ve only known for like 10 minutes, but he took the rejection with grace, and honestly I think he and Kate both have a strong sense of individuality in their own ways that would make them a power couple later.

Also Rum’s master, Shirley, is also very timid, so I don’t get why everyone gives her shit. She’s doing a perfect job of mimicking her body language, expressions, and emotions. Very happy we got to see her and Emilico grow by learning to push the cart together.

Oh here’s my conspiracy theory for what’s going on in the house. The whole thing is giant stanford prison experiment. Both the dolls and the shadows are created beings made of soot and are arbitrarily given either status or a face. We see many different types of relationships develop through this arrangement. The grandfather is studying them or something. Or he designed the whole arrangement to cause stress so he can collect more soot.

[phoenixtakaramono]

I believe Cheating Men must die is a great story

It adds wonderful twists in existing tropes and genres. The protag isn't perfect but she's great, she likes eliminating assholes, which is valid

It's also interesting how Su Luxia doesn't have an identity issue since she lives under so many identities but I guess she's hardened for the job

For everyone who hasn't read Cheating Men Must Die (comic "Wan Zha Chao Huang" (万渣朝��) by Shi Dai Man Wang (时代漫王)), this is an open invitation for y'all to read it. Genre: quick transmigration, revenge story. Basically your ex-cannon fodder MC, Su Luxia, is a System agent who transmigrates (isekais/ world hops) into the bodies of women of each world who are wronged by the Male Lead, Female Lead, another canon fodder, author, etc and changes their fate. I forgot how many chapters of the manhua there are presently but I believe the freshest ones that are still being updated in Mandarin Chinese are over 700+ chapters of art. (The MTL offers English translation, but y'all can also peep at other sites for ENG fantranslations.)

There are a couple of different summaries but I love this summary the best:

Don't you think that all cheating sc*m need to die? Su Luxia, an intern pro working in a transmigration agency, doesn't believe in that. For her, all cheating bastards need to rot in hell before they die. Or else they won't suffer the taste of their own medicine! Using elaborate means, she beats up countless cheating bastards and b*tches. Su Luxia sneers... "People take everything they get for granted. The more they get, the more they don't strive for it. An unrequited love is an example. There is always a sc*m who takes advantage. Since they brought this upon themselves..." She studies her face in the mirror and smirks, "... let them have a taste of their own medicine." System: "You're making that scary face again!" Follow our female main lead, Su Lüxia, who is bound to the Female Lead Counterattack System and transmigrates to several small worlds beating up countless sc*m.

Art bait for y'all who are still hesitating (and some of my favorite arcs, and those that'd surprised me like the arc where she transmigrated into the Second Male Lead):

RE: I have to agree! Ty for the Ask, @bernkastel11! I had a response ready for ya the day I saw this in my inbox and literally typed a long essay with links, but lo and behold tumblr ate it. 😭 But finally I have the motivation for a take 2. Honestly the manhua is a guilty pleasure of mine. The art's great (we definitely see the artist improve over time with each arc...even with the obviously borrowed assets and sometimes janky perspective, hahaha) and I love how Su Luxia is a badass femme fatale (white lotus & green tea b*tch), as well as her friendship with her cute talking hamster System. I also love how the artist is giving variety; it's not all just kicking butt, chewing bubble gum, finding romance. She's become an empress, made a friendship with the exorcist Female Lead, become a mother, led revolutions, survived a death game, became a guy, made a Male Lead yandere and obsess over her to the point of trying to hunt her down in whichever world it is, has some...questionable sapphic overtones, transmigrated into a BL novel, revisited some worlds with reoccurring characters, etc. They satirize a lot of preexisting tropes, and I love it when artists and writers have fun with the meta. I also like how they're slowly expanding on the lore of her interest with previous System agent Zero (the whole reason why Su Luxia became a System agent).

"It's also interesting how Su Luxia doesn't have an identity issue since she lives under so many identities but I guess she's hardened for the job"

The thing about QTs in general is the artist or author usually don't put much emphasis on the consequences of transmigrating so many times into other people's bodies. It's just a staple of the genre (because they're usually portrayed as badass, cunning, and OP, what have you with a strong willpower to assume all these identities, overcome challenges, and not experience dysphoria). So far I think the only writer I can think of off the top of my head that addresses it is: The Exhausting Reality of Novel Transmigration (novel / manhwa). I highly rec it. So far it is one of the few works where they explore that concept of how mentally exhausting it is adopting another person's identity as well as the consequences of "the characters" finding out (it's not your usual "oh, you hopped into my dead daughter's body and assumed her identity? Well la de dah, guess you're my daughter now." No, we're talking about the mother suspecting, finding out, being horrified, and having a mental breakdown trying to exorcise "the evil spirit" who's taken possession of her daughter's body). It also touches on the danger of an ordinary woman transmigrating into the body of a Female Lead in an R18+ novel where the Male Lead is a yandere.

Since you'd mentioned CMMD, I can give you several other links:

Cheating Men Must Die animated audio version of the first few arcs (King of the Phoenix), comes with ENG subs

Mission in Parallel 2022 Chinese short drama (it's the late 1910s socialite arc where she transmigrates as the overweight nightclub owner & wife of the abusive husband who gets seduced by a singer who's also a transmigrator), comes with ENG subs

Cheating Men Must Die (2022)(it's the arc where she transmigrates into the world where she's the villainess and the CEO Male Lead is self-aware, and the author has signed with the evil System trying to kill off Su Luxia so that she herself can transmigrate into the body of her own FL), comes with ENG subs

[cows-wearing-my-sweater]

celestial

word count: 1044 warnings: none notes: i was in the middle of writing a totally different fic but i suddenly got way more inspiration for this so i kinda had to do it LOL (p.s listen to mazzy star or slowdive while u read this)

“I thought I was so obvious about it,” you say with a laugh.

Matty shrugs. “Maybe I just couldn’t believe I deserve someone like you.”

You tap his shoe with yours, a simple sign of affection. It’s easy with him. It’s easy to say nothing and everything while you lie next to Matty on your rooftop in the dead of night. It’s that early summer sort of night, the type where the air smells sweet and cool, and the stars are brighter than you previously remembered. You wonder if the dot in the sky that seems to sparkle is Venus. A moment of comfortable quiet falls before you prod him further. “Someone like me?”

“Well, yeah.” Matty says this as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re just… you. It feels like I’m doing you a disservice when I try to find something I can compare you to. ‘Course I didn’t think someone like you was gonna be fucking in love with me. Not after I’ve acted like a twat so much,” he adds.

You hum thoughtfully at this. Your hand searches for his in the dark, and when you find it you link your pinky fingers together. You’ve always done this – the motion is second nature now. You like to imagine you can feel electric pulses running between the two bodies through such a small action, like you’re two parts bonding into a whole. “You’re not that much of a twat,” you tease him. “I’d still like you even if you were. You’re just too good.”

“You’re crazy,” Matty tells you affectionately.

“Says you.” 

Matty doesn’t respond, but taps your foot. It means “I love you.”

You bring your focus back up to the stars and point out a constellation to Matty. You don’t really see the shapes they supposedly make, but you know they’re there regardless. “It always amazes me that these are the same stars that have always been watching us. It’s the same sky and moon too. They’re constants.” You say this more to yourself than to Matty, but he listens nonetheless. “So much has changed but it’s still the same universe. We’re still so small and it’s still so big.”

Matty studies you while you speak. Your eyes reflect like pools of the celestial sky; he could dive in them and be bathed in starlight. He could reach out and touch your skin and it would burn him, just as if he had touched a star. His fingers beg to trace your lips in an attempt to capture the sounds that escape them; it equates to hearing a beautiful orchestra for the very first time.

“You’re awfully quiet,” you point out. You had been speaking for quite awhile, completely uninterrupted. Usually Matty would have thrown in his own thoughts by now, but he’s still just watching you speak. 

“Am I?” he asks with a frown.

You nod and slip your hand from his, raising it to poke his temple with your index finger. “What’s going on in there?”

Matty grins at you. He’s been waiting for this opportunity. “D’you really wanna know?”

“Yes, idiot, of course I do/”

A look of satisfaction appears upon Matty’s face. “I’ve been thinking about you and what you’re like and how I still get surprised that you’re in love with me the same way I am with you. And I’m in love with the way you love, [Y/N], you have so much affection for such beautiful things. You make me feel like a beautiful thing with your love.” You take note of the familiar glint in his eyes, the way he seems to emanate energy when he gets excited and can’t stop rambling. “There’s a natural sort of beauty about you and some days I’m not sure a world like this could have produced something so perfect. It’s like… you must have been sculpted from some celestial body that we haven’t discovered yet. If there were some kind of divine power, you’d be the reason I'd believe in it.”

You bring yourself closer to Matty and nestle yourself by his side, his arm wrapping around you. “I was right when I said you’re just too good.” You think hard on what to say next, turning Matty’s own words over in your head again and again. It’s more than difficult to be so effortlessly poetic in the moment the way Matty is. You tell him this. “I wish I could place you right inside my head so you would be able to see just how much you occupy my mind every single day. You’re everywhere I look and my love for you follows. It lives where I live.”

Matty leans into you further, turns his head to rest on yours. He needs to breathe you in. “You know when something just feels really right, like it’s where you’re supposed to be?” he asks. His voice is softer now, his lips closer to your ear.

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“This is one of those things. Being with you, I mean.”

“I could’ve told you that from day one,” you tease. “You were too busy thinking I couldn’t be in love with you.”

Matty gasps dramatically. “I cannot believe you’d speak to me like that after I poured my heart out to you.”

You pointedly ignore this. Tree branches up above you sprawl across the sky, reaching out into nothingness. Gentle breeze shakes them, leaves rattling in unison. The sound makes you tired, and Matty’s body warmth certainly doesn’t help. You stifle a yawn, but not without Matty noticing.

“You wanna go back inside, darling?”

You give a noncommittal shrug. Truthfully, you want to stay out here all night, watch the sky slowly turn to a rosy pink and hear the familiar bird calls; you want to watch things start anew. You’re just as content with the thought of a soft bed though, and, more importantly, Matty’s rhythmic breathing to lull you off to sleep. 

The stars twinkle kindly down upon you and your lover. You hope that when you die you become a big ball of light. You hope that Matty joins you in that way, nothing but pure energy, withstanding time and space. You could be eternalized in this universe with him.