#like the term just never seemed to fit me
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knight-a3 · 2 days ago
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Hazbin Hotel Sketchbook 2: Part 2
Masterpost
Morningstars
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I will have some design notes under the cut, so stay tuned.
Charlie and Lilith's snakes are all named.
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Notes under the cut to minimize clutter. I'll try to keep it brief since I've talked about a lot of this before, and plan to go into more detail in dedicated character posts later.
Between dolls, snakes, apples, circuses, ducks, etc, there were just too many motifs/thematic elements to shove onto just Lucifer. So, I streamlined and distributed. Lucifer is goat themed, Lilith is snake themed. Charlie is a mix of the two. I also use this to partly to imply that "the Devil" is not solely Lucifer. But humans mistake various different demons as one character.
Charlie:
Her goat traits were inherited from Lucifer. Hooves, ears, etc. Also the tail. Her hair is designed to look like a goat tail.
Snake traits were inherited from Lilith. Vertically slitted eyes, hair snake, etc. Also doll cheeks and pale skin.
I had considered having her hair be totally made of snakes like Medusa, but that seemed annoying to draw, so I just did one. His name is Hugh, short for Hubris, which is a synonym for pride.
Lucifer:
He has far too many motifs in general. He needed streamlining.
Apples- I reduced this because I think it would be more fitting for Adam and Eve. Eve as the first to eat the fruit, and Adam because... Adam's apple, I guess.
Doll- I know Charlie is meant to resemble a porcelain doll. And in-universe gets it from her dad. But I don't really understand why, so I took it away from him and gave it to Lilith.
King- He does not have any real authority. It's a prison, and even Lucifer is caged. Nobody bothers to respect him. So the "crown" on his hat resembles a gate or cell bars
Ducks- I never understood the choice to associate Lucifer with ducks. And thematically, I can't really justify it. So...um... sorry, but no rubber duckies.
Goat- From what I understand, goats as a demonic symbol comes more from pagan influences rather than the Bible. Overall, Lucifer is a goat because he's been assigned the blame for all the evil in the world. He's the scapegoat. Placing sin on Scapegoats was a Jewish practice during Yom Kipper.
Lightbringer- the word lucifer is used once in some translations of the Bible to describe the arrogance of the King of Babylon in the book of Isaiah, but not as a name. Instead of directly translating the Hebrew word that meant "light bringer," "morning star," "dawn bringer," or "shining one," the Latin term was used. Lucifer often referred to the "star" that is the planet we now call Venus. It would be used to represent pride because it rose and fell before the sun. So the instance of lucifer in the Bible isn't even used as a name, and didn't even refer to the Devil. I say all this because I think it fits the scapegoat theme, and it's why I put a star on his tail.
Wings- Seraphim are described as having 3 sets of wings. Rather than deal with all that or even try to figure out the anatomy of that, I just gave them three sets of primary feathers, which sort of imitates the 6-winged look but is easier for me to draw.
Speaking of his wings. He lost them when he fell. So he does not have wings at all anymore. If he did, they'd be more like dragon wings.
Lilith:
Lilith is not a biblical figure. The word lilith was used once in just some English translations of the Bible. And it's referring to a type of demon, and not used as a name. Other translations change the term to shriek-hawk or similar terms, and is listed with various other night creatures. Lilith as a character appeared in Jewish lore, and was likely satirical. But away from theology and onto hazbin lore...
Because Lilith was originally created as a wife for Adam, she felt treated like an object or plaything rather than a person. So when she fell, she picked up a little bit of a doll motif that isn't prominent in these drawings. I essentially traded the doll features instead of horns. I'm still workshopping specifics.
She was just as involved(if not more so) with offering the fruit to Eve. Thus, she gets the motif of the snake. I didn't want to make her hair entirely snakes, because the long flowing hair seemed like a prominent design feature for her. So I opted to give her 7 hair snakes, one to represent each deadly sin/ring of hell. They're all named.
Pride= Vani (Vanity), she's the one on the top of her head.
Greed= Ava (Avarice)
Lust= Libby (Libido)
Envy= Desi (Desire)
Gluttony= Tony
Wrath= Irene (Ire/Irate)
Sloth= Sloth (too lazy for an actual name). He's the one coiled around her neck, usually sleeping. He also comes from the left side of her head.
Vaggie:
I leaned into the moth elements in her design. I think it was the Columbian Silk moth that I used as as my main reference.
When she fell, she was transformed into a demon like everyone else. So she isn't really an angel anymore and bleeds the same as the other sinners. Not even Lucifer really counts as an angel anymore, due to the corrupting nature of hell.
When Vaggie regains her wings, they are no longer angel wings but are instead moth wings to match the rest of her. They actually double as her hair via magic logic because I like it that way, and it lets me reference some of her older designs.
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powdcr · 23 hours ago
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it'll only hurt for a second
୨୧ jinx x transmasc!reader
୨୧ summary: jinx helps you do your testosterone shot
୨୧ word count: 1.4k
୨୧ tw: needles, injections, medical stuff
୭ ୨♡୧ ৎ
Ever since you came out as transgender, Jinx had been nothing but supportive. She had seen the signs ever since she’d known you and had secretly suspected that you felt this way. You never seemed to fit in with feminine terms or as being described as a woman. Over the past few years, she had started referring to you with gender neutral terms and pronouns as this seemed to calm your discomfort. She figured that if you were struggling with your gender, and wanted her to know, that you would tell her when you were ready. That day came and went, and she never saw you any differently for it. You would always belong to her, and that’s all that really mattered to the blue-haired girl.
One day, you met with Jinx in her base. She was tinkering at her desk, working on a blueprint for a new gun that she had wanted to construct. You came in with a satchel thrown over your shoulder. Taking notice of the music being blasted, you smiled to yourself. That’s my girl. You sauntered over to her, trying to call out over the music.
“Jinx! Baby!”
No response could be heard as she kept hard at work, leaning onto the desk to get a better look at whatever it was that she was drawing. You sighed, shaking your head before tapping her on the shoulder.
“Oh, shoots!” She called out, startled, almost falling off of her chair. She turned the stereo off before turning around to see you. She laughed in relief, pulling a loose strand of hair back. “You scared me, space boy.” A blush covered her face as she looked you up and down. You were wearing a more masculine outfit than the ones you had been wearing up until now.
“Sorry, babe. I tried calling out over the music. You always have it so loud. Do you ever think about your hearing when you put it that high?” you asked in a soft tone, genuinely caring about your girlfriend’s health.
Jinx stuttered for once, not taking in the question that you had just asked her. “I- um, no… not really, but wow, you look… good. Handsome. You look handsome.” She gestured with her pointer finger to your outfit and stature, followed by a clearing of her throat.
You cracked a smile, looking down at your feet. You let out a small, “thanks,” before pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Anyway, I wanted to talk with you about something.”
Jinx’s eyebrows raised at your comment. “What’s up, buttercup?” Her tone returned to its normal cheery state as she fell back onto her desk chair. “Hit me with it.”
“Well, I… I don’t know how you’ll feel about this, but…” you stuttered as you opened up the satchel that hung by your hip bone. “I picked up this medication. I got it from someone that has connections over at the Piltover apothecary. If I pay him then he gets it for me, but I wanted to talk with you about it before I did my first dose.”
Jinx’s eyes narrowed. “Okay…” She bit the inside of her cheek as she sat up from her chair to look inside the bag.
The satchel contained needles as well as vials and alcohol wipes. It also had a small container that held syringes. She picked up a vial that had a see-through liquid within it, shaking it gently to watch as the liquid moved side to side.
“So… what is it exactly?”
“Well, you take shimmer, right? It makes you feel stronger, more confident, and it gives you energy. This… It’s supposed to do that for me. Except, it’ll make me look more masculine. I’ll look more like a man than I do now.”
Jinx inspected it further, holding the vial between her painted fingernails. “It’ll make you look more masculine?”
“Yeah! I might get facial hair, gain more muscle, and my voice would definitely get deeper.”
She smiled at your response. “So, correct me if I’m wrong, but… it’ll make you look more like you.”
“Yeah.” The corners of your lips upturned.
“I’m surprised something like this even exists, but then again, I heard there are some topsiders that are trying to create magic, so who knows at this point,” she said, rolling her eyes at the thought of the Pilties. “You want me to inject it for you?”
Your eyes lit up at Jinx’s question. “I mean, if you- yeah, if you’re comfortable. You don’t have to, of course, I wouldn’t wanna-”
“I’ll do it,” she said confidently, cutting you off with a smirk. Jinx motioned for you to hand the satchel over, which you did so obediently.
Jinx took the supplies out of the bag, assembling them all together as you instructed her to. She knelt down on the floor in front of you and had you lift up your shirt for her. Biting her bottom lip in a deep focus, she wiped a part of your stomach with an alcohol swab before pinching the skin in between her fingers.
“You ready, Mr?” Jinx asked in a playful tone to distract you from the situation. You always had had a fear of needles. The idea of them in general absolutely terrified you. That’s why she was so surprised at first that you were willing to do this.
You nodded nervously, holding your eyes closed as you braced for the pain.
“Don’t worry, it’ll only hurt for a second,” she said before sticking you with the needle, “See, it’s already in. You’re doing great, toots. In fact, you’re doing better than Silco does. He’s a real baby about his shimmer injections.”
You winced, but the pain really wasn’t as bad as you thought it was going to be. You laughed a little at Jinx’s comment about Silco. “Is that so?”
“Yep, he makes me do it every day for him at the same time, but he always procrastinates for like fifteen minutes beforehand. Sometimes he even paces,” she said with a giggle. “It’s really silly, honestly. I figure the faster you get it over and done with, the faster it’s, ya know, over. Makes sense to me.” She pulled out the needle as soon as she was done injecting the testosterone, placing a kiss to your stomach. “All done!”
“Really?” You asked, shocked that it happened so fast, before looking down at your blue-haired girlfriend.
“Yep,” she said with a wide grin, pulling your shirt back down for you, “so when does it start working?”
“Well, it’s something that builds up in your system, but technically I should see slight changes as early as the end of this week. I’m supposed to do it weekly, that’s why.”
“Nuh uh,” Jinx retorted.
Your eyebrows raised.
“I’ll be doing it for you weekly,” she said proudly, crossing her arms in front of her. “I might as well be a doctor at this point. I do your injections, mine, and Silco’s.”
You both laugh.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
“Don’t get all mushy-gushy with me. I know you’d do the same for me,” Jinx replied, trying to not get too sappy with you. “Anyway, I’m excited to see what you’ll look like… finally being you. You’re already you, but… ya know what I mean.”
“I do.”
“You never did tell me… Do you want me to start calling you something else? Maybe there’s a name that you feel suits you more?” Jinx asked, placing her hands on your chest affectionately. She was a mere centimeters from you now, looking into your eyes with her own doe-y, pink ones.
“[Y/N],” you replied. It was obvious that you had thought about it prior to this conversation, but you just didn’t know how to bring it up until now.
She smirked before going in to kiss you. Your lips pressed against her velvety ones. Electricity shot through you as butterflies erupted in your stomach. She tasted like blue raspberry and smoke. It made you feel high just being near her, but kissing her was different. It made you feel crazy.
“I love you, [Y/N],” Jinx replied in a softer tone than the one she had held throughout the rest of your interaction. It was gentle, welcoming, and made you feel safe. It was a voice that you had imagined her having before she had become ‘Jinx.’ She played with the collar of your shirt. “It’s a nice name. It suits you.”
“I love you too, Jinx,” you replied in an equally as soft tone, “I love you so much.”
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projectjasper · 14 hours ago
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Pond and Phuwin talking about their friendship in an interview with Praew Magazine
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[TRANS. CREDIT]
Interviewer: How have you felt during the time you have been working together as partners?
Phuwin: If we really count, it's been exactly four years. In terms of work, I feel that there are many more things that both of us can still do and improve on. But in terms of our relationship, we've come a long way. We started at 0 and now we are at 90+. I've never thought I'd have such an important relationship in my life.
Pond: It's really great. It's a journey I'm very happy with. Now that I said it, I feel shy... I don't want to say too much, or people will accuse me of fanservice, but I'm telling the truth. Because when we just started working together, the word "friendship" wasn't exactly right. But as we worked together more and more, there was a point when we decided we should try to do something that doesn't involve work. And that's when we became friends.
Phuwin: Our relationship is both like that of colleagues and friends. And I feel like both of these aspects developed a lot, until Pond became a really important person in my life.
Interviewer: What do you think made you guys so close?
Pond: At first, we were very different. Not so different that we couldn't get along, but we had different lifestyles. We grew up differently. When we got to know each other more, we felt like we got to know each other's true selves and how we can fit together. It felt right.
Phuwin: I think another common point is that we are getting older, we are growing up. We have more responsibilities, whether it's work, family, or other things. And there are a lot of similarities there. It makes us feel like we've found someone, who is by our side through all this, and it's another thing that made us feel comfortable with each other.
Interviewer: What impresses you the most about the other person?
Pond: Many things. If this was before, I would have said I was impressed by his dedication to work. But now that we have spent more time together, went out to eat together, just did things together that didn't involve work, I feel like we respect each other and care for each other, which is what's important and what keeps us together. It's all about understanding. There is no competition in terms of who is better. We grow together
Phuwin: Something special about Pond that I have not found in anyone else is that he can say something and make me feel fuzzy on the inside. He gives compliments in this very sweet but sincere way. Usually when someone compliments you, you think there must be something behind it for sure. But when Pond compliments someone, it's in earnest. When hearing that, I'm not sure what to do...
Pond: Hey, thank you wa~
Phuwin: There was this one time we were talking on the phone and Pond said: "I'm shy, but I feel like I have to say this..." So I replied: "Hmm... I feel fuzzy listening to that. I don't know what to say, but thank you very much."
Pond: We don't compliment each other often. When there is a chance to do it, let's do it. We've spent this much time together. But I'm feeling really shy....
Interviewer: In that case, let's take the opportunity this New Year's and give each other a compliment or say something to one another.
Pond: Really? When I say this to media, I feel shy. If you get goosebumps, don't take offence. But what I'm going to say is the truth.
Phuwin: Because what we both really care about is not wanting to do anything that seems like fanservice. We don't want to say anything that's not true.
Pond: We feel like being natural is best. This is true. We've known each other since before I was even 20 years old. As we are growing up, we are focusing more on the people around us. Like I said, as I moved away from the word "co-worker" with Phuwin, we really became friends: going out to eat, hanging out together, not forcing each other to do anything, just doing what comes naturally. I'm really happy about it.
Phuwin: Exactly. Pond is a good person. And in the past four years, he has become even better. It turned out that, as we were hanging out, we were picking up each other's habits. He did something and I thought: "Eh... this looks familiar. I do this too." It's like we're learning from each other and becoming better by borrowing good traits from one another.
Pond: Yes, I can say that he is one of the reasons why I've become a better person. He is great at his job and has a very high sense of responsibility. He is a good example. Watching him makes me want to push myself to become better, to be on the same level with him.
Phuwin: Pond is the same. He has a great mindset, he thinks positively, and he sees things from the bright side. Sometimes I look at the bigger picture and see the negative side, but Pond helps me see the positives.
Pond: I feel like we are partners, not just an on-screen CP. I remember when I was a kid, there was a time when my family was having financial problems. But after I acted in a series with Phuwin and it was successful, I could solve all those problems. If we didn't have each other, we wouldn't be where we are today. And we have to continue our journey together.
Phuwin: Do you understand why I get goosebumps now?
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wondermumbles · 2 days ago
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reblogging to get into this properly, because it's so fascinating!
Lettie's implications seem especially deep: she has Aztec religious beliefs and she speaks Spanish. so did Spanish conquistadors still invade the Americas, but Catholicism didn't take root? does Catholicism exist? is the dualistic Sol/Lua religion dominant almost worldwide in the way Abrahamic religions are in the real world? was there no Spanish conquest and Lettie just happens to be from a blended mesoamerican and Spanish family that lives in Libertatia?
I like how Quincy mentions bigotry but doesn't specify what it's about. it leaves the door open for so many possibilities. is it classism, which indeed seems likely? does this Earth have racial bigotry? is it because he's not heterosexual? or is it something we would never guess because it's something else entirely? how many of these things is it?
lemme digress:
usually when speculating about worldbuilding in fantasy and sci-fi settings, I like to imagine that, while they have their own problems, they don't have our sexism, homophobia, etc., at least not to a high degree. but Warframe's world is fairly grimdark, and I'm willing to assume gender/sex/sexuality bigotry existed in Orokin and pre-Orokin societies (and some of the many post-Orokin societies)
(it's tempting for me to imagine that being freed from the Orokin would result in open-minded cultures more often than not, but in reality the freedom people tend to want is the freedom to enforce their own varieties of bigotry, not a total freedom from bigotry)
whether or not dualism was dominant yet in 1999, it survived in one form or another all the way into the Orokin era. the Orokin appointed themselves as gods instead of Sol and Lua, but they believed in a basic dualism of existence in which everything has a(n equal and opposite?) counterpart
that would support a strict binary of sex and gender, potentially. important to note, ofc, that their ideas about gender expression and gender roles didn't necessarily resemble anything that's common in the real world. probably a strong delineation between mother vs father, though, and a high priority on having both in a family, and on only having two parents, unfortunately--but what that would actually mean in terms of domestic, professional, and emotional roles? who knows
as for sexuality, that's a wide open question too, but they strike me as the kind of culture that allows for same-sex, same-gender sex and romance on the side while firmly expecting hetero marriage, as in Athens or Tokugawa Japan. that would fit neatly around the fact that Albrecht had Loid as a lover while also having a family that didn't see Loid as a second father
aaaa, I just love worldbuilding that can be absorbed from observation of what's present and what's absent! my ADHD+depression usually doesn't let me read long in-game texts or wiki articles, so I'm all in on this kind of speculation
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it's a good thing that quincy lives in an alternate timeline, otherwise i'd be very tempted to point out that the uk only introduced tuition fees for university in 1998 and he would've gone to uni for free.
and even then, fees were originally means-tested so quincy probably would've been exempt from... the £1000 a year tuition fees.
anyway, i know this was probably done because digital extremes is canadian and the biggest chunk of this game's playerbase is american, where tuition fees don't really seem to be regulated by the government, but it would've been so nice. now i've just got to wonder what worldbuilding implications there are for all the brits to be calling uni "college" (college is mostly for 16-18 year olds here) and for tuition fees to start even earlier than they did irl.
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brofightiscancelled · 16 days ago
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ok kind of an insane ask so feel free to ignore but would you be able to translate "友達バリア" by deco*27? i can't find any translations online and i wanna see if i'm right about the song kind of fitting the matsus... it's also a banger imo
- vocamatsu anon
omg.... tbh i have a feeling deco will make a video for this one which means we'll get an official english translation of it, rendering this completely redundant, but i'm really cheesed to have been asked, so i gave it a shot for you anyways <3
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Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
The despair of never getting anything more of this Your behavior, nor what's going on in your head- I can't read it at all! I can't help but envy the kindness you radiate Omnidirectional compatibility- it's just not for me
Carefully-picked down-played words The outcome: A bloody heart True feelings double-crossed by embarrassment; how frustrating, I'm changing sides But that won't fill up my heart What I want is nothing more than to be by your side If you've got something to say, then say it- 'til I defeat you, that is! 3, 2, 1!
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
I want you to like me! I want you to like me! Friend-zoned, love fire, hey, say "I give up"! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
Fun things, good feelings- without you, they have no taste at all Sadness, jealousy- if they're cuz of you, then I don't mind them Let's throw down, bro! Better to regret doing it, than not doing it at all! A feeling like I won't need any special moves, YEAH I'm sure everything will be OKAY With an endless supply of love, you're undefeated, AYE Play dead, BYE BYE I'll be the one to throw the first punch
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown The lonely and timid me is already no more! With a dazzling, blazing flair, I'll burn through your defenses!
Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!
Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!
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my notes:
my overall interpretation of this song is "I'm trying to break through the friend zone (friendship barrier) so that you like me instead of thinking of me as a friend", so any vagueness in translation went in that direction
The use of "lock horns" in the official translation snippet + the HAO motifs give me the mental image of like, a hand-to-hand kung fu battle, so I leaned towards that imagery whenever there was vagueness (as opposed to like, a military campaign, for example)
deco's official english translations tend to be very liberal, so i tried to keep my translation a little more literal
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#translation#i dont really like the use of 'friend-zoned' for the official translation of this#in general deco's english translations seem to favor localizing over keeping original meaning which i usually support wholeheartedly#but i feel like their en localizations sometimes lack a colloquial understanding of how these terms come across to english speakers#like the Vibe. i dont know if they grasp the Vibe#like on the surface 'friend-zone' seems like a reasonable localization for this concept#(Actually why is the localization the adjective form? shouldnt it be the noun? tomodachi barrier = friend zone? well anyways)#term for when you can't advance a platonic relationship to a romantic one + the term 'zone' is often used in fighting and battles#but colloquially i feel like this term has more of an Incel Connotation#due to its use being most popularized among men who see women as a prize they can win if they put enough effort in#+ its usage furthering the underlying expectation that women should date a man because he likes her regardless of how She feels abt it#of coures i know this is not the literal definition but again. the colloquialism. the Vibe. i really value the Vibe in localization#it gives off more of a pathetic desperate entitled vibe than a determined lonely feisty vibe which is what i personally got from the song#but vibes are subjective of course and dependent on one's personal experience#and who knows maybe that IS what deco's going for. i may very well be missing some japanese colloquialism as well#anyways as to if this fits the matsus.... well. they dont really have any friends in the first place do they#except totoko who repeatedly and easily beats them in hand-to-hand combat#i guess it could be atsutodo if you were full of whimsy#(suddenly coming back into the room) BY THE WAY I HATE HAO#I THINK HE'S TRYING TO DO THE THING WHERE HE JUST MAKES UP WORDS/MEANINGS BECAUSE IT'S THE KANJI IN SUKI#IT'S JUST AN EXTREMELY COMMON CHINESE WORD AND HE'S USING IT IN WAYS THAT SOUND SO DUMB AND WEIRRDDDDDDDDD#“a never ending HAO sweetener battle” <- WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE HAO HAPPEN? DONT PISS ME OFF#IM LIKE PRETTY SURE HIS TRANSLATOR IS EN/CN/JP TRILLINGUAL TOO SO WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE HERE#anyways thank you for the ask. mwah. i hope u enjoy this
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sherlock-is-ace · 11 months ago
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#panic attacks leave me feeling like shit for the rest of the day and that seems illegal#what do you mean i go through th worst feelings ever for a number of minutes and when it ends i still feel like absolute shit#the embarrassment of being seen as you lose all control of your body and emotions#and then your brain staying foggy and shitty all day#panic attacks should be a one time thing#i hate them!#kdfhgdfg#i was researching phsychiatrist yesterday because every day it's getting harder to deal with my brain hating me#but boy oh boy are they expensive!!! mental health doctors are never covered by my health inssurance and they're one of the most expensive#types of doctors out there and you can't just go once. it's a long term thing#so i very much doubt i'll be able to afford it#specially because my stupid work is not regular so maybe i can afford like 2 sessions and then never again for like 4 months...#i hate this so fucking much#and it's sort of a vicious cycle because i can't pay for therapy because i don't have regular work#and i can't find regular work because my anxiety paralyzes me most of the time...#but it's fine... could be worse#we still can afford food and pay for services so it's fine#i just wish my entire wasn't in other people's hands you know?#the people ruining this country the people who politely say ''thanks but you're not a good fit for our team'' etc etc#angel talks#personal#please ignore this post it's actually fine. i'm fine and not in danger of doing something stupid or whatever#it's all fine i'm just venting cause as i said my brain is foggy and putting things out there helps a bit
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miikewheelers · 11 months ago
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fellow bylers, i have a question for y'all that i hope to god asking will help me settle this internal debate i've been having with myself once and for all:
#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#byler poll#st polls#music#noah rambles#i have been trying to work through this for DAYS#on the one hand i'm tempted to say it's mostly will-coded bc of how heartfelt the song is#and imo will has been much more open and honest about his feelings than mike ever has LMAO#but at the same time?? i'm also thinking it's actually more mike-coded???#idk the 'i wish i could know myself like you' in my mind speaks to mike consistently trying to fit in#and in turn trying to find who he is where will seems to know himself much more than mike does#not just in terms of sexuality but in terms of interests & what he wants#not to mention the 'i'll never know why you chose me' part in the refrain#it seems like mike does. not have a very high image of himself lmao#there's definitely an element of self-hatred in there??#and bc of that perhaps mike would be surprised and confused that will has feelings for him???#and tbh it wouldn't surprise me if mike felt some amount of guilt for the way he treated will in s4 (in particular) too#and he doesn't know why will would still choose him after everything he said?? perhaps???#so yeah to summarize mike is still grappling with self-hatred (& internalized homophobia) and doesn't know why will would choose him#while also being less sure about who he is and what he wants moving forward#however. neither of them have tattoos (let alone bad ones) and we've never seen them get drunk or high skdjfhsdf#at least those are my thoughts atm. lol#i'm a music therapist in training i hAVE TO ANALYZE SONGS LIKE THIS OKAY !!!!#Spotify
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artificial-condition · 2 years ago
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Suchhhhhhh a good day
•lovely sunny weather but not too hot
•didn’t have work and don’t have work tomorrow
•took a shower in the morning and had my hair braided right after while still wet
•got bakery goods mmm
•made toffee and chopped some up which was really satisfying
•wore two different comfy cute outfits that I really enjoy and feel myself in
•blasted ridiculous songs on the way back from the bakery and looked ridiculous in a lovely way
•crocheted blanket I’m working on
•DIDNT GET A HEADACHE DIDNT GET A GLINT OF HEADACHE NOT EVEN AN INKLING OF PREHEADACHE
As far as getting things accomplished I didn’t do hardly anything but in the business of enjoying life I excelled today!
#my thoughts#one of the outfits was my carhartt overalls with ny light blue tank top#the other is an athletic tank top with athletic shorts but both actually fit me which I haven’t had any that really fit in years so woooo#oh and it’s a black tank top :) I love wearing black and I thought for a long time it was because wearing color made me anxious#but now that I’m pretty much over that I think I just really love wearing black#I feel sexy in it >:)#saying that as someone who literally never rarely ever feels or is compelled to feel “sexy#I think I’m experiencing something like gender euphoria of late#pardon me for using terms not really suited to my situation I don’t know how else to explain it#but basically I’ve never been enthusiastic really about myself and how I present in the world#being called a woman felt not good. felt like I was not a woman because a woman was supposed to be someone who looked and acted certain#“desirable ways#like I was not what society considered to be a woman. girl was fine I guess and I definitely wasn’t a guy. I just felt like woman was#an incredibly high standard to meet that I did not meet nor really wanted to meet. being called a woman made me internally cringe#I’ve known for a while there’s no right way to be a woman but I think I’ve finally internalized that and am at a point#where I truly love myself and accept myself. and now being a woman seems all right. so being a woman feels euphoric to me#and expressing myself in clothing and other presentations is incredibly fun and feels euphoric#I never really had much of an interest before. probably because I felt like there was some standard I had to meet that I couldn’t and didnt#want to meet. but now I’m discovering what I really like and doing things because it’s fun and silly and goofy and it’s so FUN#anyway. thanks for coming to my ted talk#playing around with gender is beneficial to everyone
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renthony · 30 days ago
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Discussions of what "counts" as "canon" queer representation fall apart the second you start talking about media older than about five years or so. If your only metric for "canon queerness" is a character looking directly into the camera and explaining their identity in specific, modern, US-American-English terminology, you're not going to get a good picture of what queer media looks like. If your barometer for what counts as "canon" requires two characters of the same gender to kiss on-screen, you're not going to get a good picture of what queer media looks like.
Dr. Septimus Pretorius (portrayed by Ernest Thesiger in 1935's Bride of Frankenstein) was never going to look directly into the camera and explain his sexuality in 2024 terms, but he remains an icon in queer media history. You cannot look at that character (blatantly queer-coded in the manner of the time, played by a queer man in a film directed by another queer man) and tell me that he isn't a part of queer media history.
To be honest, even when discussing modern queer media, I would argue that the popular idea of what "counts" as "canon" is very narrow and flawed. I've seen multiple posts in the past few days that say the Nimona movie is "implied" trans representation, and I just...no, y'all, it's not "implied," it's an allegory. The entire damn movie is about transgender struggle, and the original comic is deeply tied into N.D. Stevenson's own queer journey. It isn't subtle. You cannot look at that movie and pretend that it isn't about trans struggle. It's blatant, and to say that Nimona "isn't canonically trans" is a take that misses the story's entire message, and the blatant queerphobia that almost kept the movie from happening. (I wrote a five thousand word essay about the topic.)
Queer themes, queer coding, queer exploration, and queer representation can all exist in a piece of media that doesn't seem to have "canon queer characters" on the surface. Most queer characters are never going to be able to explicitly state their specific identity labels, be it due to censorship or just due to the fact that scenes like that don't fit in some narratives. Some stories aren't conducive to a big "so what's your identity?" scene.
Explicit, undeniable, "this is my identity in no uncertain terms" scenes are very important and radical, and I'm not saying they shouldn't ever exist. I am saying that you can't consider those scenes the only way for queerness in a piece of media to be "canon."
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microwaving-tesilid-argente · 10 months ago
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comparing tesilid and reed's attitudes to ailette is so funny.
117th is like "you must be human to stay by side". being a little cagey and assessing if she's trustworthy.
then you have reed who has only talked to her three times, 2 of which was him initiating the convo, and he's going all "why are you with that thing and not me!!!" and "if you looked at that bug at all i would've killed it". like girl keep it together !!
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ellecdc · 9 months ago
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James and Sirius and Remus and Lily and *takes a dramatic breath* you?
this one's for you @enamoredwithbella, thanks for sorting this idea out with me @unstablereader
poly!Marauders + Lily x shy!reader who is so smitten with them
pt 1 // pt 2 // pt 3 // pt 4 // pt 5
CW: fem!reader, reader has hair long enough to be played with, reader is in Hufflepuff, swearing, consent because it's sexy AF
This was obviously a bad idea.
You’re not even sure how your friends managed to convince you to attend the Gryffindor party, but you swore to every deity it would never happen again.
There were too many people (most of whom you’d never spoken to before), it was too loud (songs you didn’t particularly care for), and the fifteenth time someone bumped into you nearly sent you over the edge.
“Whoa there, sweetheart.” A low voice commented as an arm quickly righted you from your nearly horizontal position. “Y’alright?”
You looked up to see the face of none other than Gryffindor quidditch captain James Potter beaming down at you.
You were ashamed of yourself for the way that smile made you feel.
“Erm, yup! Thanks.” You squeaked, quickly freeing yourself from James’ grasp so fast that you nearly knocked someone else over in your attempt at creating distance between you and the Headboy.
It wasn’t that you didn’t like James. On the contrary; you were rather smitten with him.
Him and his partners - which was nothing short of dense in simple terms.
But you couldn’t help the way you blushed when he held the doors open for you as you walked into classes, or the friendly smile and wave he’d shoot at you when he saw you on Prefect rounds. 
You sort of wished he’d stop being so bloody nice to you; maybe then you’d be able to get over this crush that was never going to amount to anything.
But James was taken; three times over. 
And what a sodding group they were.
Heart Throb of Hogwarts™ Sirius Black in his effortless style, his devil may care attitude, and his insatiable flirting. Being noticed by Sirius felt like your favourite rockstar singing a song written just for you. 
And don’t even get you started on the enigma that is Remus Lupin; the Cassanova of Gryffindor tower. Everyone in your year (and likely the years below you) had at some point or another crushed hard on the quiet Marauder; but it really couldn’t be helped. He was tall, he was handsome, he was kind, and though he was far more quiet than his counterparts, the quips he shared with you never ceased to reduce you to a fit of laughter.
And gods, was Lily Evans ever beautiful. She was the total package; she was funny, outgoing, smart, and stunning. Looking at her even now with her long auburn hair as she threw her head back in laughter; so open and care free in her actions. You weren’t sure if you wanted to be her or being underneath-
No.
No. That was not a nice thing to think about someone who was in a committed relationship.
You let out a sigh as you zoned back into the fact that James still had one of his hands on your elbow and was smiling curiously at you. 
“Thanks for the save! I really owe you one.” You chuckled awkwardly and nearly took out one of the Prewett twins in your haste to leave Potter’s vicinity. 
Unfortunately, trouble seemed to be following you.
And by trouble, you meant Sirius Black.
“Damn, Hufflepuff!” He cheered as he moved a sultry gaze up and down your body appreciatively. “Give us a spin, dollface.”
You felt all the blood in your body migrate to your cheeks as you fought to keep your mouth from falling open.
Lily, the beautiful angel (or the evil temptress, depending on how you looked at it), swatted at Sirius from her perch on the arm of the chair her boyfriend was currently occupying.
“Down boy; you’re going to scare her away.” She teased with a smirk as she winked at you. 
You felt momentarily grateful for her.
And then she spoke again.
“Then none of us will get to look at her.”
Fucking Helga, was it hot in here? They needed to open more windows; preferably one you could launch yourself out of right now, thank you very much. 
“That’d be such a shame, really. Sorry doll, you don’t gotta spin - no one else here deserves to appreciate such a view.”
“Okay.” You squeaked and turned in search of your friends.
You know what? Fuck your friends; you were leaving with or without them. 
They weren’t….flirting with you, were they?
Surely not.
Of course not.
What a ridiculous thing to think.
But…it certainly felt like they were flirting with you.
Maybe one more glance?
Just as you were about to approach the portrait hole, you turned for one more look at the objects of your affection and your current tormentors and - yup, sure enough - Sirius, Lily, and now James were all standing there smiling at you.
They were watching you leave?!
Okay time to go, that is enough nonsense for one day. 
You spun and collided with something tall and solid which thankfully caught your arms as you all but ricocheted off of them.
“Hey there, dove. Where’re you headed in such a hurry?”
Please for the love of gods, don’t tell me…
But of course, you looked up to see the face of one Remus Fucking Lupin smirking down at you. 
“You lot are everywhere.” You whispered in awe. The bastard only chuckled in response.
“Come on you guys! We’re going to start a game of truth or dare!” Lily called over to…you (?) and Remus.
“Well, we wouldn’t want to miss that, would we?” Remus murmured lowly into your ear as he steered you towards the growing circle congregating around the various chairs and sofas littering the common room.
And listen, you’re not particularly proud that you were so placid in Remus’ man handling you.
But in your defence…
In your defence, Remus was man handling you. 
And to your absolute horror, he plopped you down beside Lily on a large chair that was not quite large enough for two people. 
You tried to swallow your heart back down which was attempting to escape via your mouth as you became hyper focused on the fact that Lily sodding Evans was pushed up against you none too casually and- Merlin’s tits, was she playing with your hair!? 
You pretended to pay attention as a few rounds passed by; your friend being dared to give you a lap dance being the most brazen thing to have taken place.
Until it got to the Marauders.
Marlene dared Sirius to strip down to his boxers for a whole round which he was all but too eager to do, apparently. Meaning he got to ask the next person.
“Moony!” 
Remus smiled down at his lap before he looked over at one of his boyfriend’s mischievously. 
“I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl here.”
You’re not necessarily proud of the way your heart plummeted at that; this is what you had been telling yourself all night. They were taken.
No matter if they complimented you.
No matter if they caught you as you fell. 
No matter if they snuggled up to you on a chair designed for one.
No matter if one of them made you feel like you leaving the party early would have been truly devastating.
No matter.
“That’s impossible; there’s two of them.” Remus said quickly, causing your heart to ache for Lily.
Who even says that when their girlfriend is sitting right here!?
You kept your head down as the party all ooooh’ed and aawwwweee’d.
James let out a funny high pitched laugh as if he were an over excited kid on Christmas morning. “Guess you’ll have to kiss them both then.” 
You really should have left when you had the chance; you weren’t sure you could watch.
It was their business if they wanted to include another, but that didn’t mean you had to like it.
“Or they can kiss each other; I think I’d enjoy that just as much.” 
“Sounds good to me.” Lily said as she stood; the space she once inhabited felt cold and vacant without her.
“Well? Come on then?” She said as she grabbed your arm.
“What?”
“Come with me.” She said again, wiggling your arm within your grasp, and who were you to deny her, really?
Like a well trained dog you followed her obediently over to where Remus sat before she all but shoved you into his lap.
“You seem like the fidgety type; maybe Rem can help with that, hm?” She said as she shot a wink at Remus over your shoulder.
His arms wrapped possessively around your waist as he rested his chin on the junction between your neck and shoulder.
“Is it okay if she kisses you, pretty girl?”
You had no time to be absolutely horrified at the pathetic little keening sound that escaped your lips as you looked up at the red-head now towering over you.
“What do you say, gorgeous?” And though her emerald eyes did shine with some mischief, you could see she was earnest; this was your choice.
“Okay.” You whispered barely loud enough for you to hear yourself over the hammering of your heart.
“Yeah?” She whispered as she knelt in front of you.
“Yeah.” You agreed.
And you only got to see the soft, hopeful smile that adorned her lips for but a moment before her hands were on either side of your face and she was pressing her soft lips to yours. 
It could have been hours or centuries but it was also all too soon before she was pulling away from you; a proud smile on her lips though her cheeks were a similar colour to her hair.
You became aware of the hooting and hollering going on around you as Remus’ chest began to vibrate in laughter.
“Beautiful.” He murmured - likely more to himself than to you, but you heard it all the same.
“Do I get a turn?!” James shouted before Sirius roughly grabbed him by the waist and planted him down on his lap.
“Not before me, Jamie.” He snickered as he shot you a wink. 
The audacity of a man to still be so confident sitting in nothing but his boxers. 
You tried to hide behind your hands though it was all for naught as Remus made a theatrical cooing sound and pulled you further into his lap until you were all but cradled in his arms.
“Maybe without an audience next time, hm?” He asked you as he brushed some hairs away from your forehead.
Not trusting yourself to speak (or to even make direct eye contact with the bloke currently cuddling you in your lap), you nodded with your face still hidden.
“Way to go babe.” James said as Lily went to join the two boys on their loveseat. “You were so good, we’ll even get a next time!”
read about their first date here!
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lovelivision · 15 days ago
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THE COMPLEX ✧₊
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: fushiguro toji/reader
𝐖𝐂: 9.7k
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: after you catch your ex cheating on you in your shared apartment, you run into your mysterious neighbour. surprisingly, you find a friendship in him you weren't expecting. he's especially handy in helping you put together your new bed frame
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ only, smut, swearing, cheating (not by reader or toji), flirting, dirty talk, cunnilingus, p in v sex, mating press, dacryphilia, fingering, multiple orgasms, slight overstimulation, creampie, cum play, tease!toji, f!reader
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Coming home after a long day of work is something that should bring you joy but as you cross the threshold of the apartment you share with your boyfriend; you know something is wrong. The abrupt cut off of what sounded like moans followed by frantic shuffling doesn’t give you much of a chance to think the best of him.
Already knowing what’s coming, you begin looking for your suitcase you have stored away. Checking the linen cupboard in the hall first and pulling it out, dragging it behind you when your – soon to be – ex-boyfriend leaves your shared room.
“You’re home early!” He looks nervous, like he can’t tell if he’s been caught or not yet. He’s about to say something else when his eyes flick to the suitcase you pulled out of the cupboard, “Going on a trip or something?” The chuckle he lets out is awkward and off-putting.
Ignoring his question, you walk past him wordlessly, pushing towards your bedroom, you just want to pack as much of your shit as you can manage and get out of here.
He rushes to get in front of you, stopping you from entering the room, “Why won’t you say anything?”
“What do you expect me to say?” You look at him with nothing but apathy, giving him no chance to pull a fast one on you, “You want me to scream? Cry maybe? Beg you to tell me all the dirty little details?”
“I expect you to care at least a little bit! Ask me why, how long, anything!” His voice raises at you, like he has any right to be mad.
“Those kinds of questions give you hope that I’ll stay,” your hand reaches for the door handle behind him, “And I have no intention of staying,” walking forward in spite of him blocking you, forcing him to either move or stop you.
Acquiescing, he lets you pass him. There is no shock when you’re confronted with the half-naked girl in your bed, the bed you bought – he can keep it. It’s also no shock to see she’s someone your boyfriend works with, what was it again? His work wife? No matter how many times you mentioned that her clinginess and his unwillingness to set boundaries made you uncomfortable he never did anything to make you feel better.
Maybe if you had been paying more attention to him, if you hadn’t checked out of the relationship months ago, you would’ve been able to stop him from cheating. Then again, if you have to stop someone from cheating they aren’t worth your time.
You’d consider saying something to her but there isn’t anything that wouldn’t be a waste of breath, not when she’s sat so smugly wrapped in your favourite sheets. She’s proud of herself and you just can’t seem to comprehend why, the prize she won is some loser who was willing to cheat on his long-term girlfriend.
The suitcase in your hand is thrown onto the bed haphazardly, she startles at the bounce in the mattress, like you were going to hurt her or something. That’s something you find amusing, smile small as you tug open the zipper calmly.
Your boyfriend follows you around the room as you pick up all the necessities you can fit, “Are you seriously just going to leave like this?”
Without looking at him you answer, “Yeah.”
“Why won’t you even try and fight for me?” He sounds desperate and angry.
Pausing, you look him straight in the eyes, “Because I don’t want you.”
“No wonder he cheated on you,” his work wife scoffs from the bed, finally pulling herself out of it, rushing off to the bathroom to change. The speed in which she leaves the room after her comment almost makes you chuckle, like she’s still scared you’ll hurt her.
“Don’t you love me?” He pleads, ignoring her comment.
Instead of answering, you turn it back on him, “Did you love me while you were fucking her?” You don’t wait for his reply, going back to your suitcase.
“Of course I did,” he cements, like he means it, and hell maybe he does but just because he means it doesn’t change what he did.
“Why are you so surprised?” You pull the zip closed and tug everything off the bed, looking at him in exasperation, “I told you that cheating is a deal breaker for me, it always has been, and it always will be, so stop acting so incensed or like I blindsided you with this reaction.”
He glares at you harshly, like he’s the wronged party here, “I thought you would care more.”
“You thought wrong,” it’s taking a lot to continue this façade of indifference, and while you certainly don’t feel as effected as some would, it still hurts, you’re still livid, but mostly you’re tired.
“I never realised how much of a cold-hearted bitch you were,” his tone is cold, words cutting through you sharply.
Sighing at him, you say, “I’ll come back for the rest of my stuff later this week, if any of it’s missing or damaged I’ll be calling the cops.” Grabbing your handbag, you walk to the front door, suitcase rolling behind you, “Just in case this wasn’t clear enough, I’m breaking up with you.”
“You haven’t even let me say anything,” he’s almost frantic, like he’s stunned by your verbalisation of the breakup. “Wait, don’t leave! We can talk about this can’t we?”
Pulling the door open, you don’t look back, “There’s nothing to talk about.”
Your steps in the hallway of the building are rushed, worried that he’s going to follow you. Finger pressing into the elevator call button quickly like that will make it come quicker. It opens just as the door to your apartment does and you feel your heart rate spike, thumb slamming into the ‘door close’ symbol.
Foot tapping impatiently on the floor as you wait for it to reach the lobby, hoping you get there before him. The fact he can switch so quickly between calling you a cold-hearted bitch and begging you to stay is chilling, just who were you living with for all these years.
When the elevator dings you’re so caught up in your thoughts that you jump slightly and then you haul ass, going for the front door before thinking better of it. If he really does intend on coming after you then it might be better to go out the back.
The back of the building is a grimy alley and while you’d really rather not go back there, you’d really rather not run into your ex more, so grimy alley it is. It’s a struggle to open the door with your handbag on your shoulder and suitcase in your other hand. You manage it though, it’s just unfortunate that when you start down the steps you stumble slightly as your suitcase wheel gets caught on one of the stairs, your handbag falls to the floor as you struggle to catch yourself on the railing.
You’re pissed off and grumbly as you pull on your suitcase forcefully, “Just my fucking luck, God, what an awful fucking night. These stupid fucking stairs, always hated it back here–”
A short chuckle sounds from behind and it scares the hell out of you. Spinning around quickly and placing a hand over your racing heart, you see it’s just your neighbour. You’ve seen him in the hall a few times, never saying more than a friendly hello and quick nod of acknowledgement.
He seemed polite enough, you would’ve gotten to know him better, but your ex had told you to stay away from him. Making claims like he was dangerous and bad news; you don’t know if you ever believed him, but he clearly felt some type of way about you being friendly with him, so you kept your distance. Mostly out of respect for your relationship and your partners boundaries but that’s a little bit ironic now, after tonight.
Your neighbour is all too amused when he apologies for obviously frightening you, “Sorry, doll, didn’t mean to scare ya.”
Turning your back on him and leaning down to your bag, you acknowledge his apology, “It’s fine,” you’re trying to be polite but you’re still in a foul mood.
“Need any help?” He offers when he sees you struggling to put everything back in your handbag. Head tilted as he checks out your ass in your tight work skirt before realising he’s staring and looking away before you can notice.
“No.” You answer without looking up, though it comes out harsher than you mean for it to, clearing your throat lightly, you add, “No, I can manage, thank you though.”
His tongue clicks, “What are you doing in this alley, shouldn’t you be going out the front?”
Without missing a beat, you turn the question back on him, “What are you doing in this alley?” Finally standing and raising to look pointedly back at him, handbag placed precariously on top of your suitcase.
Wordlessly, he takes a drag of the cigarette you hadn’t noticed he was smoking, blowing the smoke off to the side, away from you. His smile too big when he notices how your expression twists in slight embarrassment when realising his very obvious reason for being back here.
“You gonna tell me why you’re back here or are you going for some kind of mysterious woman vibe?” He’s glib, annoyingly so.
But attractive, in an irritating kind of way, the kind of way that pisses you off because how dare he be that hot and also be looking at you like that.
Your reply is straightforward, “It’s not a mystery, you’re just a stranger.”
“Cranky little thing aren’t ya?” Smirking to himself when he mentions your bad mood, like it’s so funny.
That pisses you off, you were trying so hard to be polite to him and while you were failing, you were trying, “Listen here mister ‘I’m so handsome I can get away with being an annoying asshole to strangers–’.”
“–Toji.”
You fumble slightly, taken aback by his interruption, “What?”
“That’s my name,” he looks pleased with himself for throwing you off. It’s like he’s trying to win an award for annoying you.
Frowning, you brush him off and continue on your mini tirade, “Right, well, I have had an especially foul evening and the last thing I need after walking in on my boyfriend cheating on me, is some dick telling me I’m awfully cranky. I think I should be crankier actually!”
He huffs out an amused breath at your frustrated rant, “Normally you give your name back after someone’s offered theirs.”
You squint at him, scrutinising his person. Hesitating in answering him but ultimately you give him your name, not seeing the harm in it.
It’s like he mulls it over, smiling to himself before saying unprompted, “A damn shame to see you go, doll.”
“I’m so sure,” you snark back.
Taking a step forward, you go to leave the alley, but he speaks again, “I got one question though…”
Stopping in your tracks, you turn to face him properly, hand propped on your hip, “And what’s that?”
“Why are you the one leaving?” His head tilts at you.
You don’t know why, but you decide to answer him, “It was his place first,” you shuffle from side to side, “Plus I’m not particularly fond of the fact that they’ve potentially fucked in every square inch of that place…”
He barks a short laugh at your statement, “You know… if you were my girlfriend,” he leans in towards you, “I wouldn’t cheat on you.”
“Yeah that means so much to me mysterious neighbour who I’ve never spoken more than a few words to in passing,” you deadpan back at him.
There’s an entertained look on his face as he eyes you up and down, grinning to himself before taking another drag of his cigarette.
Your foot taps impatiently while you wait for him to say more, he looks like he wants to say more but the longer it takes him to talk the more you’re not fully convinced he has anything to say. Puffing, you turn to walk off, only to get stopped by his words, again.
“You got a place to stay?”
Your brow raises at him, “Yeah… I do.”
He shrugs, “That’s too bad.”
“Stop flirting with me! I literally just found out my ex of many years has been cheating on me,” frown prominent on your face as you accuse him adeptly of hitting on you.
His shoulders shake with a chuckle, “The first time I’ve gotten to say more than a few words to you in passing, just making the most of it.”
Something clicks for you, “Now I see why my ex didn’t like you very much.”
“And why’s that?”  He’s smug when he asks.
“He’s insecure and you’re very clearly a flirt.”
Unbothered, he answers simply, “Not usually, you just so happen to be my type.”
You click your tongue, caught between shocked and completely unsurprised by him, “Awfully blunt aren’t you?”
Toji smiles at you as he takes another drag, blowing the smoke away quickly, “If you want someone there when you’re picking up the rest of your shit from that jackasses place, feel free to knock on my door,” he follows up his statement with a wink, dropping his smoke and stomping it out. He’s walking to the door, adding, “Stay safe out there, doll. I’m looking forward to seeing you again.”
How presumptuous of him, he’s such an ass, and just as you go to tell him as such, he’s closing the door and presumably going back up to his apartment. Your face scrunches as you think of all the things you could’ve said to him and at the things you shouldn’t have said to him. He didn’t need to know all about your relationship like that… tonight just keeps getting worse for you.
At least you wasted enough time that if your ex did follow you down like he seemed he was going to, he’s probably left by now.
✮.
Staying with your friends is uncomfortable, they’re dating and happy and you’re sour about it. Their displays of affection are prompting you to get into motion though, finding a reasonably cheap place to live fairly quick. Fuelled by nothing but bitterness and a sickening feeling like you’ve wasted too much time with your ex.
The next step is going back to that apartment and collecting more of your valuables, having left behind a bunch of things that would’ve been too much of a hassle to grab in the moment. Taking a day off work and borrowing your friends’ car is the move, aiming to go while the place is empty.
It’s still going to be a bit of work moving stuff from the apartment down to the car and your friends can’t take the day off to help. As much as you feel uncertain about it, you might ask Toji for help, he offered after all.
By the time you’re finally heading back to that apartment complex it’s been a few days, not having felt ready enough to come back any sooner. It’s funny how everything about the building is the same and yet you feel so different about it all now, it doesn’t feel like home anymore. There’s no warmth here, just another cold place that one day you’ll pass and not feel a tug in your heart over.
Nerves run through you as you stand in front of Toji’s door, uncertainty sitting heavy in your chest. Maybe he wasn’t genuinely offering, or what if he’s busy, or what if he’s not even home. You’re stupid, you didn’t even consider that he might not be home today, feeling flustered you ultimately don’t knock on his door.
Entering your now old apartment feels odd, most of your stuff is still here but you feel detached from the place. Amazing how a few days can change your outlook so drastically. Thankfully it doesn’t look like he touched any of your things, though you never really had all that much to begin with.
It was his apartment first and a lot of the furniture is his or was bought by the two of you together. Aside from the bed but that’s just because he didn’t want to pay for a new one. If you’re being honest, it never even felt like your place. You lived here and you called it home, but it doesn’t look lived in by you. After a while you stopped trying to buy trinkets and decorations for the place, he never seemed to like them. Always leaving you feeling like it was his place first and a shared home second.
You guess, at some point, it stopped being noticeable but as you stand here now and look through your belongings, you’re realising you really do not have all that much. Whatever you take will hardly make a dent in the large ocean of his belongings, poetic in a way. You’re a small part of him but he was a large part of you.
Grimacing at your own thoughts you move on, not wanting to start feeling those emotions in fear of crying. Instead sourcing the boxes you kept from your initial move in, you tape them back into shape. It’s been so long they look weak and old; time has not been kind to either of you it seems.
On your trips back and forth from the apartment to the car, you pointedly ignore Toji’s door, not wanting to linger on thoughts of him either. It embarrassing that you told a stranger that much about your life and then was willing to have him help you move out. Though he had big arms… he’d probably be really helpful.
This whole thing is taking longer than you thought it would, your arms growing tired from each trip. As you look at one of the few boxes you have left, you wonder if it’s even worth it. Most of what’s in these are clothes or the few decorative trinkets you own.
No, he doesn’t get to keep any part of you. Not the parts that were solely you anyways, he can keep those fucking sheets. Picking up the box, you trudge out the door for what feels like the billionth time. Not able to help the frustration in your steps as you stomp out into the hallway.
Just as you’re about to pass by Toji’s door, your box splits underneath and your things spill out. Thankfully it only really has some clothes in it, but you clearly overfilled it, too heavy for the poor old cardboard. Letting it drop to the floor; all you can do is look at the pile of clothes.
A deep sigh pulls from your lungs and your eyes brim with tears, you’ve yet to cry about this all but your box breaking feels like the last straw. Fighting your tears off desperately and failing as they drip down your cheeks.
Your voice is small when you mumble a tiny, “I hate everything.”
A hand on your shoulder makes you jump, apparently out of it enough to not hear someone leave their apartment and approach you. Maybe you shouldn’t be surprised when you look and see Toji, but you are, feeling a little confused at the small amount of relief that runs through you at seeing him.
His tone is careful when he asks, “You okay, doll?” Like he’s actually worried about you.
And maybe it’s because he’s the first person to properly ask you that, or because his hand is warm and large against your shoulder or maybe it’s just because he’s here, you move to hug him. Realising now just how alone you feel, desiring comfort from him.
He doesn’t push you back, instead he wraps his arms around you and lets you soak a portion of his shirt in your tears. A kindness you don’t think you’d expect from someone who looks – or quite frankly – acts like him.
Mumbling in his shirt, “Sorry…” Before pulling back, “I’m okay… sorry.”
“You apologised twice,” he notes.
“Sorry…”
An amused look on his face at your third apology, his thumb reaching up to wipe at the tear on your cheek before speaking again, “Your box broke.”
“I know, it made me cry.”
“Don’t cry over spilt clothes.”
Somehow that poor joke has you cracking a small smile, “Very wise of you.”
“I’m full of that shit,” he moves for your box, letting all the clothes spill onto the floor, “Wisdom.”
“You sure you’re not just full of shit?”
“Ah there’s the girl I met the other night,” Flipping the box upside down, he scoops up your clothes and shoves them inside again.
Realising he’s picking up after you, you tell him, “I can do that.”
“I’m sure you can,” he picks up the box easily, resting it over one forearm as he moves for his apartment door.
“Hey! Where do you think you’re taking my stuff?”
“Finders keepers,” his tone even.
“Hey?!” You call after him, following him into his apartment.
It’s a mirror image of yours, furnishing a bit boring but befitting of what you assume is a single man. Toji drops the box of your clothes onto the floor by the front door, pushing it off to the side.
His words interrupt your snooping from afar, “How many more boxes you got?”
“Uh, only a couple,” you blink up at him, still lost on what’s he’s doing.
He hums at you, “Come on.”
“What?” You’re then following him back out of his apartment and over to yours, he walks in like he’s been invited. Flustered and confused as you hurry along behind him, “Toji, what are you doing?”
“You used my name,” you can hear the smile in his voice, “Almost made me blush, doll,” he teases back at you.
Purposefully not indulging his flirting, “Shut up, why are we over here?”
“Grabbing the rest of your shit, put it at my place before that dick gets home,” he stacks the last two boxes on top of each other, smaller than the box that had your clothes in it. Picking them up with ease, he walks past you, “Could ya get the door for me?”
Mindlessly, you open the door. Why is he doing this for you? “Toji–”
“Do a once over and check you got everything,” he nods back at you, “Don’t take too long though, he gets home from work soon.”
He walks off before you can say anything, so you decide to do what he said. Checking the apartment all over to make sure you got everything you wanted, you were right earlier, your stuff barely made a dent. When you’re satisfied you’ve got everything, you go to walk out the front door, pausing at a note taped to the wall by it.
Not noticing it with your view being obscured by large boxes every time you walked by it, that and you’ve been a bit distracted all day. It’s obviously written by your ex, you’re half tempted to just ignore it but you’re nosy and want to know what he’s said.
It reads a simple: ‘please don’t leave me, it was a mistake. I love you’. Underwhelming to say the least, it doesn’t even move you. If anything, you feel pissed the fuck off. How dare he spit a bunch of bullshit, you’re not stupid, the day you caught them was certainly not the first time they’d fucked here. It was written all over that woman’s face, she was smug, like she’d finally got what she’d wanted by you finding out.
For a quiet moment, you consider writing something back to him, or burning the note, or even just ripping it up. But you’re choosing to leave it there, maybe he’ll wonder if you saw it and maybe he’ll always be unsatisfied as to whether or not you’d have stayed if you had. Maybe he doesn’t deserve closure, maybe he deserves nothing more of you.
You’re getting bored thinking about him, this relationship had already been on its way out, you just didn’t have the guts to leave him for seemingly no reason. Pretending like you didn’t see his shitty note, you lock up the place and take the key off your key chain. Slipping it under the door before walking over to Toji’s.
Looking at his door, you consider if you should knock or walk in. It feels wrong to enter someone’s home unannounced though, even if they did kind of hijack some of your belongings and stash them in their house. Feeling too uncomfortable to simply walk in, you knock, waiting patiently for him to open it.
When he opens the door he leans against the frame of it with his forearm, “I left it open for ya.”
“It’s rude to enter without an invitation,” you say obviously.
He points out, “Didn’t stop ya earlier.”
“You stole my clothes!” You defend.
A chuckle leaves him, “Get in,” he holds the door wider for you.
Pausing, you check first, “You’re not gonna kill me or something are you?”
“A sweet lil’ thing like you?” His smile is big and flirtatious, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Don’t you ever get tired of yourself,” rolling your eyes as you walk past him and into his apartment.
The door swings closed behind you, Toji watching you shuck of your shoes, “Nope.”
Standing up and turning back to him, you mumble a small, “Thanks for helping me… and sorry… for crying on you.”
He pouts at you in thought, a hum leaving as an acknowledgment of what you’ve said. “You want some tea?”
You’re taken aback by his sudden offer, “Oh… uh… sure, that’d be nice.”
“Sit wherever,” he waves his hand around aimlessly at the few seating options he has.
Cautiously, you navigate around his apartment, unsure of yourself in here. You’ve only just met him and he’s being so kind, the fact he’s a stranger a more obvious fact when you’re in his home. You hesitate for a moment before taking a seat on his couch, gazing out the window while he clanks around in the kitchen.
Finding yourself wishing you’d put more effort into knowing him, he seems kind, though with how he flirts with you it’s probably better you didn’t. His footsteps are padded as they approach you, his slippers dragging against the floorboards. The tea he’s made for you is placed on the coffee table across from you, along with another he’d made for himself.
With no grace, he flops down beside you, his head leaning back against the couch. He doesn’t seem to have very good manners, his frame spread wide, sitting closer to you than most people probably would.
After a moment, he comments, “All the furniture was still in that place.”
You guess he’s referring to your apartment, “Yeah…”
“Gonna have an empty new apartment.”
“Yeah,” you reach for your tea, “It’ll all be me though.”
His head turns to look at you, “I’d like to see it.”
You smile into your mug, “You trying to say you wanna see my new place when I move in?”
“I think I should be the first person to see it.”
Taking a quick sip, you place the mug back down on the table, still a bit too hot, “And why should you get such a high honour?”
“Because you ruined my shirt by crying into it–”
“I did not ruin your–”
“And because you’ll need someone to help with all your new and big furniture,” he smiles at you like he knows he’s right, all smug and attractive.
Being serious for a moment, you enquire, “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Isn’t it obvious,” you shake your head at him and his smile grows, “I’m hoping to get into your pants.”
Your face pulls up at him and you push him away by his shoulder, “You’re pathetic.”
“Yeah, but you’re hot and single,” he barely moves at your pushing.
You continue to frown at him, “You have to help with my furniture now, after being so lecherous.”
You’re only joking but he answers as if you weren’t, “Whatever you say, doll,” he smiles arrogantly, like he knows he’s won you over, even if it’s just a little bit.
✮.
The new place is nice, smaller than your last but it’s a good size for you. It’s only been a few days since you moved in though, so your ‘bed’ has been a mattress on the floor and your living room has a sad looking bean bag instead of a proper couch. It’s strikingly bare in here but it’s all yours and you get to decorate to your hearts content, you just wish you had the funds to buy to your hearts content.
Your first big purchase has been a bed frame, deeming it the most necessary. A couch will probably go second and then a place for eating and a desk and… there is so much more furniture you need. Things that can all wait, nothing will bring down your mood. You’re feeling good, your bed frame came today and you’re going to put it together and have the best sleep ever tonight.
Premature optimism will be your downfall, you felt pretty good about assembling this altogether yourself. But now after having tried to put this stupid bedframe together for an hour or maybe more all the confidence you had in yourself has been drained. Sitting on the floor of your bedroom, instructions and bits of your bed in front of you, mattress pushed up against the wall and out the way, you have been defeated.
Happy thoughts, all happy thoughts, you can have it together before it’s time for bed… surely… Maybe this is more of a two-person job, you should’ve asked for help. Checking the time you see it’s late afternoon, is it too late in the day to call Toji and ask for his help. You ponder on it for a second before deciding you’re calling him; you want to sleep in an actual bed tonight. Plus, if you don’t get it together tonight, you’ll be sleeping on the mattress out in the living room and that just feels wrong.
The line only rings a couple times before he’s picking up, “Was wondering how long it’d take ya to call me, doll.”
“Don’t be smug, it makes it harder for me to ask for your help,” you roll your eyes despite him not being able to see you.
It’s scary how accurate he is in asking, “Taking me up on my offer to help with your furniture?”
“Is the offer still good?”
“For you?” he hums, “Always.”
He may be the biggest flirt you’ve ever met, “Then yes… I’d like your help, please.”
His smile can be heard down the line, “Those are nice manners you got there.”
“Shut up, just get here,” you hang up on him and text your address, he’s going to tease you plenty when he gets here, you don’t need sneak previews.
Though you are thankful you have his number, having already exchanged short messages back and forth. Sometimes you’ve even talked on the phone with him, you get a bit lonely and it’s nice to be able to call him. He’s not overly talkative but he will listen to you carry on about nothing and you like that in a man. Embarrassingly though, you tend to bring up just about anything so you can keep talking to him for a bit longer.
By the time Toji is in your apartment, you’re feeling down, having tried for a bit after the call to try and assemble it at least a little bit before he got here and failing. The pair of you look at the mess on the floor of your bedroom, his hands on his hips as his brow quirks at the sight. You feel small next to him, humiliated by just how badly you’ve done.
His head turns to the side, “Doll… what the hell am I looking at?”
“My new bed,” you pout back at him.
“You sure?” He double checks.
You’re glaring at him, “Yes. I’m sure.”
His head shakes at you, “Should’ve just called me from the beginning.”
“Well maybe I thought I could do it myself.”
“And look how that turned out.”
You whine at him, “You said you were gonna help.”
“And I will,” he places a hand on top of your head, leaning down, “I just gotta mock you first.”
“Is it out of your system yet?”
A beat before, “Probably not.”
Ignoring him, you offer, “Do you want a drink?”
He pats your head a couple times, “Quite the little host, aren’t ya?”
Your answer is dry, “No drink for you, got it.”
A laugh leaves him at your quickness, clearly enjoying the back and forth the two of you have. “Alright I’ll have your bed together quick; I don’t even know how you managed to fuck it up this bad.”
“Unnecessarily cruel,” you note.
Throwing a smile at you, he reaches for the instructions and glances over them for a moment before letting them float down to the ground. He’s clearly confident in his ability to put the bed together.
And to be fair, he had good reason to be confident. He gets it all assembled easily, barely needing your help save for a few moments where you had to hold something. Mostly, you felt like you were just there to watch him, and you found yourself not minding at all, he looked good.
As the mattress slides into place on the new frame, he gives you a helping hand in making the bed. Putting all the appropriate linens back on, including fresh sheets. It’s beautiful, all ready for you to sleep in, to think you almost cried about this a couple hours ago. The frame itself is nothing special but you’re feeling so much joy over something so simple.
“Thank you so much, Toji,” if it were physically possible, you’d have hearts in your eyes right now.
“More than welcome, doll,” he winks at you, “Want help breaking it in?”
“Okay.”
“What?” He asks again, like he’s not sure he heard you right.
“Okay, you can help me break it in,” when he doesn’t move, you ask, “Toji?”
“Hold on, I wasn’t expecting to get this far.”
You laugh airily, his surprise cute. As much as you were serious, you don’t want to put pressure on him. Moving to walk past and offering, “Do you wanna eat instead? I can order something; I don’t think I have enough in my fridge to cook–”
Your sentence is cut off by his hand on your upper arm, suddenly being pulled into him. “Now hold on, I’m not passing on this opportunity.”
“You sure? You seemed to get a bit nervous for a second there,” you tease.
“Was taken by surprise is all,” he grins.
“Are you really sure, because–”
He’s cutting you off again, his lips on yours, breathing against you, “–You talk too damn much.”
“That’s just–”
You don’t get to finish; he’s kissing you again. It’s insistent and messy, like he’s been wanting to kiss you for too long. His tongue licking into your mouth, pulling a whine from you at how his hands grope at your hips. Looping your arms around his neck, you pull yourself up into him, craving more of him.
He’s large and warm, so sturdy as you hang off him. Such a good kisser, lips slotting against yours perfectly. The way he’s making out with you has shivers running down your spine, finding yourself obsessing over his lips. You don’t want to part from him, drunk on him and the messy way he’s kissing you.
A hand leaves your hip and grabs the side of your face, his thumb pulls on your chin, getting you to open your mouth more. He wants to kiss you deeper, he wants to kiss you so you never forget what it’s like to be kissed by him. Leading you back, he walks you both to the bed until your legs are knocking on it and then he pushes you down onto it.
“You know,” his smile is suggestive, “I think I am hungry.”
It takes you an embarrassing amount of time to understand what he means, it’s not until his hands are at the waistband of your pants are you catching on, “Oh!” You’re feeling flustered, “I– you don’t– if you want–”
“–Oh, I want,” He returns quickly. “Do you?”
“Yes…” Your voice comes out smaller than you intended.
He can’t help but snicker at how you’re suddenly so much more shy, “Where’d your sharp tongue go, doll?”
“Shuddup Toji,” you snark back.
The breath that leaves him is amused, his hands pulling your pants and panties off in one go. And then he’s a little breathless because you’re so wet and pretty, his hands are keeping you spread apart.
“Keep ya fuckin’ legs open, doll,” he grunts, “Don’t deprive me of the view.”
“How can you be so– hah–”
He drops to his knees and blows cool air onto your clit, interrupting your comment in favour of a small gasp. Enjoying the way you twitch slightly at the action, “What were you saying?”
“F–Fuck you,” you curse at him.
“You’ll get the chance, don’t worry.”
Not able to hold himself back any longer, he’s putting his mouth on your cunt. His tongue spreading your folds, licking from your hole to your clit and back down again, repeating the motions over and over. No real purpose behind his actions, just enjoying the taste of you on his tongue, relishing in the sounds he manages to pull from you. Essentially making out with your pussy, reverential in his actions.
You try grinding down into him, to guide him where you want but he’s too happy to torture you, his arms hold you open and pin you still. Barely able to rut down into him with how his arms are around your legs.
“Toji,” you whine at him, wanting more.
He ignores your call to him, too involved in how he’s lapping at your cunt, making a mess. Though finally switching things up in a show of pity, his tongue slides inside your hole, fucking you with it. Your chest stutters with your breaths and your legs fight his arms, wanting to close around his head. It doesn’t work, he’s so strong and you feel so weak with how he’s turning you into a puddle.
This may be his new obsession, making out with your pussy and refusing to let you get what you want. Your pathetic whines and fruitless struggle against his grip amuses him just about as much as it turns him on. He rubs his nose purposefully into your clit, the moan you let out is shocked and cute. The way your cunt flutters around his tongue has his eyes rolling to the back of his head.
You’re really going to let him fuck you and that thought alone makes him feel giddy. Parting from you in a messy display, string of his saliva connecting him to your wet pussy, “You wanna cum, doll?”
Blankly, you nod back at him.
He smiles evil, “Ask.”
“Toji…”
“You wanna cum or not?”
“Make me cum…” You look at him and it has your heart leaping, his face slick with you, eyes glazed, “…please.”
“‘Atta girl,” he says like he’s proud of you.
All to happily, he puts his mouth back on you. Tongue fucking you with more purpose, nose pressed into your clit. The sounds of him eating you sloppy and obscene, not that you can find it in yourself to give a single fuck. Your high approaching so much quicker now that he actually intends on letting you cum, back arching off the bed as you get closer and closer.
So badly you want to rock down onto him, you want to grind on his pretty face, but he still holds you tight. He’s so mean to you, shouldn’t he want to make a good impression. Then again, he’s making you feel so good right now, orgasm so fucking close and then he does something devious. His finger slips inside your hole, alongside his tongue, never stopping and barely giving you a chance to acknowledge it.
It feels good and you feel the slightest bit fuller and you’re cumming, so unexpected to you that you’re blindsided as you twitch and cum all over his finger and tongue. Toji groans into you, drinking down your creamy slick. Your hearing is dull and you’re involuntarily twitching in his grip, soft whines dying down as you calm.
He keeps licking at you, you’re not able to tell if he’s cleaning up or adding to the mess between your legs but with the way he’s drooling on your pussy you’d have to guess the latter. Your thighs still shake in his grip, he’s going to force you into overstimulation, that or he’s going to have you cumming again.
Reaching down, you pull at his hair, “Too sensitive.”
“Couldn’t help myself, sorry doll,” he smiles lazily at you.
Your hand drops from his hair, he’s so beautiful, all pussy drunk and horny. “Is okay.”
While he waits for your breathing to start evening out, he licks and bites at your thighs, leaving behind so many marks that you will no doubt be embarrassed about tomorrow. Right now though, you can’t be bothered to move away or try and stop him. Jerking every now and again when his teeth nip at an especially soft spot on your thigh.
When you’ve calmed down, he stands up, undressing in front of you, not minding in the slightest the way you stare at him. His dick bobs under the weight of it, all heavy and leaky, precum dripping from his tip down the length of himself. Your thighs rub together at the sight of his incredibly hard cock, caught between worried about taking him and desperate to be fucked open on him.
“Your shirt,” he points at your chest, “Off.”
Pushing yourself up, you go to take off your shirt but before you can Toji’s tugging it off himself. “Someone’s eager,” you tease.
“‘Course I am,” his hands are quick to grope at your tits, “I get to open your little pussy up on my cock, what’s not to be eager about.” He smirks, fingers pinching your nipples.
“Are you always such a relentless tease?”
“Did you expect anything less?”
“Stop– hah– stop playing with my tits,” your scold has less of an effect when you’re pushing into him and fighting off moans.
He hums at you but pulls his hands back, “Shuffle back.”
Doing as he says, you move back on the bed, sitting more centred on it. He crawls onto the bed, pushing you back onto the mattress with a hand on your shoulder. Quick to open your legs again, hooking under your knees with both hands to push back on your legs. His eyes greedy as he watches your cunt closely, grinning when you clench around nothing.
“Toji, stop being a dick.”
“You want this dick, doll,” he returns, glancing at you, “Should ask real nice for it.”
You return a sharp, “Maybe you should ask real nice to fuck my pussy.”
“You got words now, but I doubt that’ll stay the same when I’m balls deep in you,” he grips his cock and rubs his tip between your folds.
“You gotta ask, Toji,” you remind.
Without an ounce of shame, he asks, “Please, let me fuck your pretty pussy, doll. Wanna feel the way she grips me tight when I fuck her open, want her creaming on me, wanna make a real fuckin’ mess.”
“I hate you,” you huff, annoyed that his words turned you on so much.
“She doesn’t feel the same as you,” he notes, humming at how your slick drips down and coats the tip of his dick.
Whining at him, “Toji, stop being such a– hah– insufferable tease.”
“You haven’t asked yet, doll,” the tip of his cock almost pushes inside you before he moves back.
An unsatisfied breath leaving you, almost having got what you wanted, “I thought you wanted to fuck me?”
“I do, bad,” he agrees easily, “What I want more than that though…” leaning down to talk next to your ear, “Is to hear you fuckin’ beg for it…”
Sadly, your resolve is weak, and you break easily, “Please, Toji. Please fuck me, anything, just stop teasing, please.” When he doesn’t move at your pleads, you add another small, “Please.”
Breathless huff leaving him at how quickly you gave in, he wonders how you’d hold up if he weren’t being so impatient himself. Working you up over and over only to deny you pleasure at the last second, making you cry and beg for his dick. The thoughts have his cock twitching, loving the idea of your wet eyes. He’ll just have to make you cry another way.
“What kind of a man would I be if I said no after you begged so nicely?” He asks rhetorically.
Despite his tone, you answer, “A mean one.”
Barking a laugh at your reply, “Never claimed to be nice, doll.” He delights in the way your eyes grow large, worried he’s going to deprive you more and maybe if he weren’t so fucking horny he would but he can’t bring himself to. “Don’t look so worried,” he coos.
Pulling back, he waits for you to open your mouth to talk before pushing the tip of his cock into you. Your face twisting in surprise, mouth dropping open but no words coming. His breathing stutters at the tight grip of your cunt, not quite expecting you to feel so fucking good around only this much of him.
He looks down to your pussy, watching how he’s slowly sinking into you, “Don’t know h– hah– how gentle I’m gonna be, doll.”
You mumble back at him, already out of it, “Ruin me.”
A shudder runs through him at that, just about cumming in you from your small request alone, “You’re a fuckin’ dream.” He keeps sliding inside you, rocking slightly, not able to help himself when you feel this good, “If ya need me to stop, fuckin’ slap me or something.”
“Won’t want you to– hnn– stop,” you gasp back.
“If you do though,” he insists.
Nodding firmly at him, like you want him to just shut up now, “I’ll– hah– slap y–you, got it.”
“Impatient little thing, aren’t ya?”
Though he’s not much better than you, especially when he’s finally balls deep, mouth salivating as his eyes almost roll to the back of his head. Only fighting the urge so he can see your face and watch how your eyes glaze over. A sight he doesn’t regret waiting for, his dick throbbing at the cute expression you’re wearing, your cunt fucked open and full by him, your brain having trouble doing its job.
Already so cock drunk that you can’t get your bearings enough to talk, he can tell you want to though, can see the way you’re fighting yourself. He’s surprised when you grind into him, against his pelvis. Clearly unable to find the words to ask him nicely to start moving, he groans at your shamelessness, enjoying you like this. You’re greedy and he likes that.
“Cute,” he murmurs, watching your pussy bulge around his dick.
Taking a deep breath, you moan out his name. All pitched and ruined, “Toji.”
“I got ya, doll.”
He pulls back slowly, his cock dragging deliciously against your walls. Your back arches as you moan, already trying to grind back into him. Toji bites his lip at the unabashed display, so willing to be openly needy when you’re this worked up. Not even a little bit shy when you whimper and try fucking up onto him.
Giving you what you want, he thrusts harshly back into you, picking up a diabolic pace. The sloppy sounds of him fucking your tight cunt filling the room, lewd mess spilling from your hole onto your fresh duvet every time he pulls back out. A fact you’d surely be bothered by if your eyes weren’t rolling, and your head wasn’t going fuzzy at how he’s fucking you. Managing to rub up against every single perfect spot inside you, your toes curling and legs shaking.
Cruelly, Toji grabs under your legs, pushing them up and back. Leaning into the movement with his weight, folding you in half. The angle new and breathtaking as he drills down relentlessly into you. If you weren’t cock drunk before you sure as fuck are now, your moans loud, the chanting of his name slurred and barely comprehensible.
“Fuck– how are you so–” Toji’s dick spasms inside you, you’re so unbelievably wet around him. Creamy pussy making an obscene mess on him, “Feel so– hnn– fuckin’ good, doll.”
You shake your head at him, “I– ah!– can’t fff–” you give up half way through, unable to say what you wanted.
He chuckles at your inability to form a coherent sentence, heart leaping at the realisation your eyes are brimming with tears. Sitting so pretty on your lash line, adding to the glassy look in your eyes. Moans slip from him when you shed a few tears, somehow, he’s folding you even more in half. The mating press mean and firm, not willing to give you a chance to change anything about how he’s fucking you.
It’s mind numbing how he’s thrusting into you, not realising how you’re drooling over it. Pussy throbbing at the way he slides into you, the feeling of being so full and split open the only thing on your mind. It can’t feel this good, why does it feel this good? The kind of sex that has you forgetting you’ve ever had sex before. Getting dicked down so good that you can’t even think of ever wanting anything but this.
Toji notices how drunk on him you are, “Hah– Good, doll?”
“Ah huh,” you nod deliriously at him, it’s all you’re really capable of.
Skin slapping against skin fills the room, his brutal thrusts echoing throughout your barely furnished apartment. His ego growing tenfold by the stupid look on your face, your pussy leaving a creamy white ring around the base of his cock driving him insane. Fucking you is messy, and he can’t help the fact that he’s obsessed with that. Loving the way you still try to grind up into him. Failing every time with the way he’s folded you, so needy for more that it’s adorable.
You’re hot and wet and so so snug that he feels like he’s dreaming, hooked on the way your pussy sucks him right back in as soon as he’s pulling out. Taking him so well despite the way you’re struggling to fit all of him, not that you mind, so blissed out and greedy that all you do is moan and pull at the sheets.
Cheeks tear stained at this point, orgasm so close if your stuttered breaths and shaking thighs are anything to go by. He keeps his thrusts the same, not changing anything about the way he’s fucking into you harshly, building you up so quickly that you’re dizzy.
Your back arches up into him, your tits presented to him so enticingly that he feels disappointed he can’t put his mouth on them right now.
“You’re s–so cute, doll,” he compliments, “Fuck– so greedy.”
His deep voice and crude praise send you over the edge, cunt clamping down so tight around him that he struggles to fuck you through your orgasm. Cumming around him so divinely that he couldn’t stop the moans tumbling from his lips even if he thought to. The sounds he makes stick inside your head, brain foggy as you cum but distinctly picking up on the moans he lets out. Pretty and arousing, you wish he had made more sounds for you.
Even as you come down, he keeps fucking you, fervent and desperate as he pummels into you over and over. New headboard slamming into the wall loudly as he fucks you, probably has been the whole time and you’re only just now registering it. Your eyes are bleary from the tears you’ve spilt, you want to rock down into him, wanting him to finish inside you so badly that it’s a feral kind of need clawing at your insides.
It’s insane how good he looks while he fucks into you, his lips parted slightly as he watches the way he stuffs his cock back into you over and over. Abs tense with his movements, eyes lazy and blown out, body sweaty from the exertion of holding you in a mating press while fucking you diabolically. His tongue runs along his lower lip, and you involuntarily clench around him, making him moan weakly, eyes rolling to the back of his head.
Glancing up at you, his eyes look wild, “You’re so adorable when you’re crying for me.”
“Toji,” It’s pathetic and pouted back at him, mind too broken to say much else.
He groans at you, “Ohh fuck!–”
The way your lower lip wobbles so pitifully when whining his name has him blowing his load, not even expecting it himself as he cums deeps inside you. When he realises, he slams his hips to yours, wanting it so deep inside that you’ll feel him for days after. His pelvis grinds into you and you practically purr at it, the stimulation against your clit has your cunt fluttering around him.
He's so sensitive he nearly whimpers at how perfect you feel around him, unwilling to move immediately, truly too obsessed with how you feel around him. The only thing prompting him to pull back being the uncomfortable way he’s folded you in half, lifting his weight off you, he allows your legs to drop.
Eyes locked onto your pussy when he pulls out, watching the way his cum leaks from your hole and down onto your bed, adding to the mess already there from the sloppy way he’s fucked you. Compelled by greed and his horny brain, he uses his fingers to scoop up his seed and push it back into you. Fingers pushing into your cunt and relishing in the way you jump at the intrusion.
“Don’t want it going to waste now do we, doll?”
“You’re a– hah– freak,” you whine at him.
“You fuckin’ like it,” he slips his two fingers deep inside and curls them, “Bet if I hadn’t pinned you, you’d be a little freak yourself.”
Your hips grind down into his hand, apparently insatiable and willing to cum for him for the third time tonight. Needy all over again that it’s almost embarrassing how willing to be fucked by his fingers you are. If Toji didn’t seem so keen to give you what you wanted you’d probably feel ashamed of how you twitch down onto his digits soaked in a mix of both your cum.
You gasp at him, “It’s– ah!– too much.”
“See…” he grins, “…You say that, but you’re rutting down into me so needily that I’m not sure I believe you.”
He enjoys the way your overstimulated body jerks at his touch, cunt swallowing his fingers happily. The sight of your overfilled pussy trying to push his cum out only for his fingers to shove it back in making his chest vibrate with groans. His thumb rubs into your clit and you whine pathetically at him, your hand clamping over your mouth as your toes curl.
So soon after your last orgasm that you’re finishing with barely any work from him, your walls gripping him as you whimper into your palm. Thighs trembling from the force of it, you can’t even hear anything, gaze so bleary that you’re unable to see for a few moments. Toji doesn’t stop moving his hand until you go limp on the bed, your breaths heaved as you struggle to collect yourself.
When he groans, you open your eyes to watch the way he sucks on his fingers. Cleaning them of the lewd mess from the both of you, he’s smug when he sees the way he’s flustered you with his actions.
“You’re so gross,” you whinge at him.
He only laughs as he gets off the bed and ransacks your apartment for something to wipe the pair of you down with. Touch gentle as he wipes between your legs with the cloth he’s found. Despite how careful he is with you, you flinch, so sensitive that you feel like you might break.
Once he’s cleaned you enough, he flops down beside you and pulls you to him, “Think we broke it in enough?”
You consider, “I don’t know… we might have to do that all again.”
“Because the beds not broken in or because you wanna get dicked down again?”
“Just wanna see if it’s like that every time.”
“It’ll be better,” he speaks low, “I went easy on you.”
A shiver runs down your spine, taking him for his word, “Then… next time?”
“Next time,” he presses a kiss to the top of your head, “I’m taking you out on a date first.” Not able to leave it as a nice moment, he adds, “And then I’m taking you back to my place to make you properly beg for it.”
“You’re gonna kill me.”
“Maybe but it’ll feel real good,” he chuckles.
You roll your eyes at him, “Fine but you gotta help with all the rest of my furniture.”
“Doll, with the state of your bed before I came over, I almost feel obligated to,” smooth in how he says, “I don’t wanna be visiting such a sad apartment all the time.”
He’s as presumptuous as ever but you don’t feel the need to point that out to him, since he’s right and all.
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𝐀/𝐍: this was supposed to be up before christmas but then i had to do things to prep for it UGH... as per usual this fic was only meant to be like... 5k maybe a little less and i got carried away hehe. anyways,, happy holidays all !!! i hope you enjoy !!! <3
[⚠︎] — 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: do not reupload / repost / translate / plagiarise my works © all works are the intellectual property of lovelivision
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angelfic · 1 year ago
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— IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU BABY
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pairing: mattheo riddle x nott!reader
summary: you weren't quite used to the attention of other boys, and it seems your brother's best friend isn't too fond of it either
warnings: brother's best friend trope!! swearing, kissing, not much else, very much unedited
author’s note: i don't tend to stray outside of the marauders era characters buuuut i've been a bit obsessed with mattheo and theo recently so this was for my own selfish needs lol as always let me know what you think!!
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He had barely looked away from you all evening.
You knew the only reason Mattheo’s eyes had been fixed on you for the entirety of dinner was because of a certain type of attention you had unconsciously garnered on your first day back at school. Particularly male attention. It wasn’t any less disconcerting, however, knowing that your brother’s best friend was prepared to fist fight any potential romantic advances towards you because he was just as protective as your actual older sibling.
Your brother Theodore is no better, a displeased frown appearing every five minutes when he looks over to where you sit at the Gryffindor table.
“Merlin, boys are pathetic,” Ginny mutters, spearing a potato with her fork. “You go away for one summer and come back slightly prettier and they flock to you like bees to honey!” You’re about to weakly protest that she’s exaggerating, but at that exact moment you’re interrupted by a tap on your shoulder.
You slowly turn on the bench, reluctantly lowering your goblet of pumpkin juice to face Michael Corner, a Ravenclaw boy who you’d only ever spoken to when he was going out with Ginny.
“Hi, Michael,” you sigh, offering him a bland smile.
“Hello, Nott,” Michael replies, with what he probably thinks is a winning smile. “Had a good summer? I was just going to ask if you wanted to go on the first Hogsmeade visit of the term with me.”
You stare at him, unblinking. “Er- well, as… nice as that sounds,” you say slowly, not meaning a word. You glance at Ginny as pointedly as you can manage and raise an eyebrow. “I don’t quite relish the idea of going out with my best friend’s ex.”
“Oh! I, erm, I didn’t actually see you there, Ginny,” he stammers, laughing sheepishly. “My mistake.”
“Quite,” Ginny says drily, turning back to her plate of food.
“Well, er, see you later then,” Michael mumbles, nearly tripping over himself as he rushes back to the Ravenclaw table.
You bite your lip to stifle your giggles but it’s not long before you catch Ginny’s eye and the both of you erupt into fits of laughter.
“I can’t believe I ever went out with him,” Ginny groans, wiping her eyes.
“Was he always such a tosser or is that new?” you ask, snorting at the way Ginny scrunches up her face in embarrassment.
You’re still laughing when your eyes happen to pass over the Slytherin table just to focus on Mattheo.
You notice with a jolt that he’s looking at you again. This time, his eyes flick over to the Ravenclaw table for a second where Michael has settled back onto, then back to you and he quirks a brow quizzically.
Frowning, you mouth at him to stop in hopes that he ceases his scrutiny, just for him to roll his eyes and return to whatever one-sided conversation Blaise Zabini was attempting to engage him in. You hope you don’t look as flustered as you feel after realising Mattheo has just witnessed such an embarrassing encounter, but you’ve found over the years that you’re not the best at hiding the effects he has on you. Theo has never mentioned it in front of Mattheo as far as you’re aware, but he definitely hasn’t shied away from teasing you about the childhood crush you have on your brother’s closest friend. Not that you’ve ever admitted it to him anyway, and you’ve gotten a lot better at hiding it since nothing could ever come of it.
“Your brother and Riddle have been looking like they’re ready to halve the male population of Hogwarts since we got on the bloody train,” Ginny says, pulling you out of your thoughts.
“Tell me about it,” you sigh, cutting into your carrot a little more viciously than needed. “They keep looking over at our table. I feel like I’m on one of those Muggle reality television programmes Hermione was telling your dad about the other week.”
Arthur Weasley was absolutely transfixed when he was learning about reality television from Hermione during breakfast the week you both stayed at The Burrow, and although you zoned out after his sixteenth question about a singular programme, you feel as though you caught the gist of it.
“Hm,” Ginny agrees, grimacing at the memory. She had nodded off at the table during that conversation and fallen asleep on her slice of toast. “In fairness, that’s not really a new thing.”
“What, being watched by my two guard dogs?” you ask in a mock-serious voice.
“Yeah, but…” Ginny chews thoughtfully for a second before answering. “I’m not just talking about today, or even recently. Your brother mostly minds his own business. I’m talking about Riddle. He’s always looking at you, I noticed it last year. Wherever we are, kind of like he’s checking up on you,” she says like it’s common knowledge, shrugging. “It’s sweet, I guess.”
You blink at her, a little speechless.
“What?” Ginny frowns after a few seconds of your silence. You look at her with raised eyebrows, not really taking her seriously. In your first few years at Hogwarts, you had confided in Ginny regarding your silly, little girl feelings for Mattheo and she would read into every action he took towards you in an attempt to prove he liked you too. Obviously, he saw you as nothing but a younger sister figure and once you grew up a bit, Ginny had let it go too.
Ginny reads your dubious expression now and sets down her knife and fork to cross her arms. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. I’m serious! I’m not just saying it because you were helplessly in love with him until you were, like, fourteen.”
“Shush!” you hiss, thwacking her arm. “Why don’t you just get up on stage with Dumbledore and ask him to include that titbit of information for the entire school to hear in his speech!”
“Good idea,” she says, nodding seriously and starting to get up. You know she’s just teasing, but you start spluttering and frantically grab at her sleeve to sit her back down, causing her to topple onto you slightly. This sets you both off laughing again and you find it hard to stop for the rest of dinner and desert, thankfully staying far away from the topic of Mattheo. You also pointedly avoid looking at him again.
Once dinner is over, you head to the Gryffindor common room with the rest of your house and catch up with everyone for a while. After a couple hours of socialising and fifteen minutes of helping Neville Longbottom search for his pet toad, you head up to your dorm with Ginny and Lena, one of your other dormmates, to unpack.
As soon as you open your luggage, you search for your pyjamas and immediately change out of your robes and into a t-shirt and baggy shorts for comfort. You’re in the middle of unpacking some textbooks when you hear Lena whistle from behind you.
“I do not remember those pyjamas looking like that,” Lena comments, grinning at you. Rolling your eyes, you comply with her request to do a little spin and you can’t help feeling pleased when Lena and Ginny start whooping and hollering. “You’ve always been gorgeous, but you really grew up this summer, huh? Look at those legs!”
“Tell me about it,” Ginny pipes in, flopping down on her bed and abandoning her unpacked suitcase. “She came to stay for a week and Mum looked like she was going to cry every time she saw us. Something about ‘blossoming into young ladies’ or whatever bollocks.”
“You ‘blossomed’ last year,” you point out, and Lena hums in agreement. “I haven’t forgotten how Zacharias Smith fell off his broom trying to wave at you during Quidditch practice.”
Ginny groans and starts ranting about teenage boys again. Lena joins in and starts teasing her about how Harry Potter is the only boy she hasn’t complained about and you’re about to set down your belongings to help Lena dodge the pillows Ginny is throwing at her when a flash of green and silver in your suitcase catches your eye.
“Shite, I have Theo’s uniform,” you huff, grabbing the clothes out of your suitcase and sliding your slippers on. “That means he has mine and I am not dealing with this at seven in the morning. I’m gonna go drop this off, be back in a minute.”
Ginny says goodbye before resuming her pillow attack on Lena as you make your way out of the room and down into the common room. It’s nearly empty, with most people having gone to their rooms to pack and a quick glance at the clock tells you its past curfew. You decide to take the risk since you have a reasonable excuse, but you hope that if you do get caught, it isn’t by Filch or Snape.
By the time you’ve reached the dungeons, you thank Merlin that Theo had the sense to tell you the password for the Slytherin common room before dinner in case of emergency.
“Pureblood,” you mutter, fighting the urge to scoff when the door swings open. You enter the common room and brighten up when you see that the only students still hanging around are Theo and his friends. Your brother seems to have already started unpacking since he’s standing and holding your uniform, presumably about to come and find you. His friends all mumble polite ‘hello’s and he walks up to you with a smile.
“Oh, hey, I was just-” Theo cuts himself off when he properly looks at you and frowns. “Wha- Why are you wearing pyjamas out and about?”
“You’re wearing pyjamas too!” you exclaim, slightly embarrassed that your brother is doing this in front of your friends. They all turn to look at you again, hearing the indignation in Theo’s voice and you notice Mattheo suddenly sits up straighter. Suddenly aware of your bare legs, you tug down the material of your shorts, despite the fact they aren’t even very short to begin with.
“Oi. Stop looking at my sister!”” Theo snaps, glaring at Blaise, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. You know the only reason they glanced at you in the first place is out of curiosity regarding Theo’s question, but Theo and Mattheo scowl at them all the same and they all start sputtering, Draco in particular when Pansy narrows her eyes at him. Theo sighs at you, quickly exchanging your uniforms. “Just- at least take something to cover up back to your room.”
“I’ll walk her back,” Mattheo says, out of nowhere. He stands up and makes his way over to you, face carefully blank. Theo nods, agreeing quickly before he ruffles your hair goodbye to go and finish packing. You’re too surprised by Mattheo’s offer to protest until you’re already out of the Slytherin common room.
“I don’t need someone to walk me back, you know,” you mumble after a minute of charged silence.
“It was either me or Theo,” he shrugs, completely unapologetic when his mouth quirks up in a smug smile. “And I know you prefer me.”
“You’re both equally annoying,” you say, rolling your eyes, happy that he’s talking to you like normal again. You hated it whenever Mattheo was serious – it was rarely ever towards you and you much preferred when his whole face lit up with a smile. He begins to tease you about your bunny rabbit slippers and you’re in the middle of pretending to be irked when you both run into Ernie Macmillan, a Hufflepuff prefect doing patrol duties.
“Hey,” Ernie offers you a friendly smile and gives Mattheo a brief, slightly nervous glance. While you prefer not to get into trouble for breaking curfew, Mattheo clearly couldn’t care less and his relaxed, yet intimidating stance must be off-putting to Ernie. Thankfully, you’re on friendly terms with the Hufflepuff and you give him an even brighter smile to make up for it, to which he beams at. “How was your summer?”
“Good, yeah! Erm, listen Ernie. We didn’t mean to be out at this time, it’s just that I accidentally had my brother’s uniform and needed to-”
“Oh, forget it. Don’t worry, I won’t dock you any points,” Ernie reassures you, waving off your excuses and you instantly relax. Ernie gives Mattheo another unsure glance before leaning in the tiniest bit closer to you. You try not to pay attention to how Ernie has been glancing at your legs and how Mattheo tenses up when Ernie starts speaking again. “I was actually wondering if you were available next weekend…?”
Ernie trails off when you don’t show any indication of replying straight away and you snap out of your surprise to say something, but Mattheo beats you to it.
“She’s busy then,” he says coldly, working his jaw. “Now, if you don’t mind, it’s late. Kindly get lost.”
“Wha- Matt!” you hiss, smacking his chest to which he barely flinches, nor does he look at all apologetic. “Ernie, I-”
“Never mind,” he says quickly, seemingly eager to just leave. “I’ll, er, see you later.”
You stand frozen in shock while Ernie rushes down the corridor and turns the corner, leaving you and Mattheo alone. Turning slowly, you look at him with barely contained anger.
“Why the hell did you do that?” you demand, voice sharp as nails. If it weren’t past curfew and you weren’t in the middle of a school corridor, you would most definitely be yelling. Mattheo stands with his hands in his pockets, clenching his jaw and his silence makes you even angrier. You accepted long ago that you’d never have a chance with him, but now he was getting in the way of you having a chance with anyone. It was completely unfair. “What if I actually wanted to go out with him?!”
Mattheo scowls at this, but his impossibly dark brown eyes flash with a hint of uncertainty. “Did you?”
“What?” you ask, impatient.
“Did you want to go out with him?” he says, voice low and dangerous. He walks forward, towering over you and you refuse to be intimidated so you start walking backward until your back is against the wall. Despite having cornered you, he maintains a fair amount of distance between you, leaving plenty of space if you want to move away. You don’t.
“That’s none of your business,” you say stubbornly, raising your chin and trying your best to keep your voice steady. Mattheo narrows his eyes and reduces the distance between you ever so slightly with another small step. You nervously keep talking. “I can go out with whoever I want.” Another step. “And you can’t just-” One more step. “Matt.” His shoes are flush with your slippers.
“What?” he whispers, tilting his head and looking at you calmly, while you feeling anything but calm. “I can’t just… what?”
The previously respectable distance has gone out the window and instead you barely have space to breathe with the way Mattheo is leaning in, head dipped toward you but never touching, hands resting on the wall either side of you. He leans in, eyes dropping to your lips and your heart leaps in your chest with anticipation, but he ghosts his lips over your jaw instead and the barely-there contact has you breathing unevenly.
“You can’t…” you exhale, trying to finish your sentence with some dignity and failing miserably. “You can’t just scare people off like an overprotective older brother.”
Mattheo stills, lifting his head enough to meet your eyes, but making no move to distance himself any further. He scoffs quietly. “Brother,” he says the word with a mildly disgusted scowl. “Is that what you think I want to be?”
“I- I don’t…”
“You don’t know,” Mattheo finishes for you, the corners of his mouth turning up, yet his expression is devoid of humour. “No, you don’t know how badly I wanted to hex Macmillan just now. How badly I wanted to try out some new, experimental spells on that fucking Ravenclaw earlier. But none of that had anything to do with brotherly feelings.”
“They were just being nice,” you say stupidly, with not a clue in the world as to why you’re defending them right now. If anything, you’re just confused.
Mattheo quirks a brow, tongue pressing against his cheek as he considers your words. “That Ravenclaw from earlier was talking about you on the train. He said he was going to ask you out at dinner because you’d ‘gotten hot’ over summer,” Mattheo sneers, like he’s suddenly regretting not hexing Michael Corner in the Great Hall. “They weren’t being nice.”
All of a sudden, you feel irritated because you have no idea why Mattheo is telling you any of this. “What’s wrong with a boy finding me attractive? Is that such a crazy idea?” you demand, part of you not wanting him to answer.
“Merlin, do I seriously have to say it?” he groans, sighing when you glare at him. Mattheo takes a breath, meeting your eyes and you marvel at the sincerity you see when he speaks. “You didn’t ‘get hot’ over the summer. You’ve always been beautiful and they’re idiots for not paying attention then.”
Your breath catches in your throat, whether it’s from emotion or from the close proximity with Mattheo, you aren’t sure. “You think I’m beautiful?”
Mattheo nods, leaning back in to brush his nose against your own, his breath mingling with yours. “Always have.”
You take this as a cue to grab the collar of his shirt and pull him in and the next thing you know, his mouth is firm against yours, and his hands are finally touching you, grabbing you by the waist and sliding up your back to hold you closer. You’ve thought about kissing Mattheo before, but the thoughts feel utterly stupid compared to the real thing. Mattheo kisses you fiercely, mouth sliding hot and wet against your own making you come alive and weakening you at the same time. He nips at your bottom lip and you gasp, causing him to smile into the kiss. Your hands are sliding up his chest to snake around his neck when a thought suddenly occurs to you and you pull away abruptly.
“Oh my God, Theodore,” you hiss, covering your mouth with your hand. Mattheo furrows his brows, looking a little dazed and confused. “What are we going to tell him?”
 “He knows I’ve loved you since we were kids,” Mattheo says flippantly, waving you off and impatiently starting to lean in again, but you stop him with a hand on his chest. “What?”
“You’ve loved me since we were kids?” The words hardly register, but before you can feel any sort of elation, you mostly feel pissed off that your brother has clearly had his fun with the situation for years. “And Theo knows?”
“Yes,” Mattheo says slowly, as if he were talking to a child. He brushes the hair out of your face and his gaze turns a little uncertain when he speaks. “Er, this is hopefully the part where you say you feel the same way.”
“Well, of course I feel the same way,” you huff, still thoroughly annoyed at Theo. “He knew I was crazily in love with you too and the bastard was so irritating about it!”
You’re about three quarters of the way down a list of ways you want to get back at your brother when Mattheo gently turns your face by the chin to look at him. “As much as I’d love for you to plot against your brother right now, it’s kind of a mood killer thinking about him when I’m kissing you.”
“Sorry, sorry. Continue with the kissing.”
“How romantic,” he says drily. His smirk turns smug, however, when he processes your previous statement. “So… you were in love with me too. What was the word you used, again? Crazily? Crazily in love…”
“Don’t make me take it back, ‘cause I swear I will.”
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© angelfic 2023.
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a-simple-imagine · 3 months ago
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Don't They Know a Rabbit Can't Cry
Synopsis: while travelling the witches' road you're forced to confront the two witches who left you centuries ago without an explanation.
Pairing: Agatha Harkness x fem!reader x Rio Vidal
Words: 2.3k+
WARNINGS - swearing, choking, knives, nightmares, brief mentions of burning and being buried alive and playful use of 'mommy'
A LIFE ONCE LIVED //
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It's a quiet evening as you pluck wildflowers in the wake of the setting sun. You would have to head home soon; to avoid the danger of navigating your way back in the dark. The older witch did not like you being out alone at night but you weren't quite done yet. The bouquet had to be perfect. Not that she would ever say otherwise. not to you anyway. Too soft. Too sweet. She had a soft spot for you. They both did. You twist the delicate stem between your fingers. Lavender. Beautiful. Intoxicating. And... hot. Sizzling against the pad of your pointer finger and thumb. And searing into the skin. You drop it quickly. Flames swallowing the single flower. Bizarre. You take another. plucking it from its spot. Flames shoot up from the ground surrounding you entirely. Red hot and roaring as the flowers make way for beautiful flames that dance in the breeze. Creeping closer and closer. Quicker and quicker. Until you feel it burn against your skin.
You jolt up. Sweaty and warm in the night's cold embrace. You're safe. Right now at least. No fire. No nothing. You rub your temple. Just a nightmare. They'd been more frequent as of late. Little flashes of the past engulfed in fiery fury. Fitting. The makeshift campsite was still. The ashes of the small fire dance in the breeze. Witches litter the ground in a moment of respite. You didn't know them but you imagine they're quite desperate. Most weren't brave enough to even dare travel the witches' road anymore. Pushing up you decide to go for a walk. Not far just enough to feel the cool air and calm your heart. Away from prying eyes. There wasn't much around here anyway.
"can't sleep?" it's a startling thing. To hear such a familiar sound so abruptly. It brings with it a quickened heart. A look of surprise. that voice. An unpleasant reminder of the past. That's all this trip seemed to be. A constant trip down memory lane. In many ways, you wish you had never agreed but maybe your darkened heart may still hold a few soft spots.
"just needed a minute alone,"
"That's a dangerous game around here," there is a playfulness to her tone. one that makes your jaw tense.
"can you just go away?" you ask. "I can't- I can't deal with this right now."
"playing hard to get?" just as playful but different. Still familiar. Annoyingly so. "what happened to that sweet girl who brought me flowers every day."
"don't," a threat. You wished not to relive the past right now. Not with them. They didn't deserve to remember you so fondly.
"made us little flower crowns." her voice travelled the woods. Surrounding you from all directions. Trapping you in your spot.
"stop."
"used to bring us fresh bread."
"fuck off," you bite back with an equally sharp turn. Subdued anger began to rise at the mere sight of them. Agatha Harkness. The harbinger of your nightmares. The years had been kind to her appearance but if rumours are to be believed she had a dark reputation. Evil. Soulless. Murderer. Maybe in another lifetime, you would have disagreed. A green witch stood to her side. Far enough away for you to know they weren't on good terms either. She sported a signature smirk you wanted to slap away. Rio Vidal. Infuriating in every conceivable way. They both brought different feelings. Similar but still different. "why can't you just leave me alone?
"we're only checking on you, dear,"
"After such a scary nightmare." Rio teased. "do you need to get in mommy's bed tonight?"
You take a deep breath. Don't raise to her level. Don't give her the satisfaction. It's not quite admitting defeat but you're tired. Falling against a nearby tree. "please leave." you let your head fall back against the bark.
"I'm sure Agatha won't mind,"
"leave the poor girl alone," as always Agatha comes in to mediate. It's always just a little misleading. The woman crouches down before you. Glassy eyes bore into yours and for a moment you're that girl again. The one they remember. Who picked flowers and planned picnics? Ran in the meadow and liked to sit at the edge of the lake. Who held on tight to Agatha's hand as she walked you home. You didn't have much back then. Lived in a small cottage in the woods with your family. The older witch came into your life so abruptly. Looking back on it now she probably just saw a naive girl she could play with. "are you okay?" her question brings you back to reality. The here and now. Stuck on the road with a bunch of washed-up witches and the two people you hate most in the world. Stuck in a never-ending cycle of reliving the past. The end seemed so far away. Who knows if you'll even make it that far with this useless bunch. "do you wanna tell us about it?"
"Agatha," said softly.
"yes, dear?"
"fuck. Off." quiet but firm. You can tell she wasn't expecting it. A little chuckle sounds from behind her. The witch raises.
"fine." Agatha answers. "forgotten how stubborn you can be." your eyes trail after her as she begins to walk away, Rio takes a moment before following. And the question that has been bubbling in your chest for centuries finally comes up.
"Why did you leave me?" they slow to a stop. Yet to turn back. Did you even really want to know the answer? Perhaps it was a question best left unanswered. Years of bitterness already seeped into your bones. Little to be said to make you less angry at them. Less murderous rage. "what did I do?"
"Nothing," Agatha urges. Short and simple. No explanation needed apparently. "don't stay up too late,"
"then why?" you asked again. a little louder. A little firmer. Why was she acting like this? Pretending she cared. It was infuriating.
"Just tell her," Rio presses, turning back to you.
"don't," Agatha places her hand on Rio's shoulder but that doesn't stop the green witch from sulking towards you. A malicious little smile.
"come on, look at her," a knife pointed in your direction as she makes her way over. "just as pitiable as she always has been." she crouches down in front of you much like Agatha had before. But you don't see that girl you once were. Her eyes fill you with anger. It's strange to think you used to admire her so. Used to put flowers in her hair, and she let you. The tip of her blade forces your head up ever so slightly. "A pathetic little girl. Scared of the world," a sharp pain. You swallow hard  "scared of anything real."
"Rio," Agatha walks up, towering over you two. "put it away,"
"Why should I?" she wonders. Pressing a little harder. "tell her."
"What happened to you?" Agatha questions. Your eyes flicker up to her. Did she really want to know or was it diversion. "where does this hate come from?"
"you left me," you reply. A loud bark of laughter from Rio as her blade lowers.
"no," the woman shakes her head slowly. "that's... not it."
"boring," Rio groans loudly. "I didn't lie, y'know? I know you don't want to believe me but it's true. Isn't it Agatha?" the woman rises to her feet. Patting the other witch on the shoulder. "we left because you were weak."
"it... it wasn't quite like that," Agatha offers out a hand. You brush it off, standing up. "we thought you'd be better off."
"alone?"
"without us." Agatha corrects. "you were so..." her eyes trail over you. "different back then. You didn't know you were a witch. You were just so..."
"innocent," Rio insists.
"no- well, yes but not in the way you might think. You just needed a push and we were being so careful,"
"soft," Rio interjects once more.
This little game of back-and-forth was cute. But you didn't care. Rio was using it as an excuse to get some sick sense of pleasure from throwing in insults while Agatha was doing anything to avoid saying what she thought. You knew Agatha. She could be just as mean as Rio. "can you get to the point?"
"you already know," you ignore Rio, looking straight at Agatha.
"We wanted to protect you," you can't help but roll your eyes. That was the best excuse she could come up with. Some fairytail bullshit. "felt easier to leave." you glance at Rio who looked just as over it as you did.
"Agatha thought you'd be better off without us. That we shouldn't be dragging you into a world you weren't ready for. Blah blah blah. Too weak to come with us. If we left you wouldn't get caught up in anything bad,"
"Rio was actually the one who didn't want to go,"
"Whatever," she huffs. Her gaze down at the knife in her hand; twisting the edge against the tip of her forefinger. "I thought it'd be worse if we just left you. that it'd fuck with you- we just needed to be harsher."
"but I was right,"
"you were wrong," Rio answers.
"How? I mean look at her," Agatha ushers towards you. "a full-fledged witch. Survived centuries. That's something. You didn't need us."
"do you wanna tell her or should I?" you wonder if Rio is genuine in her question or if this was just another attempt at teasing. This conversation had mainly been between the two of them.
"Tell me what?"
"I wasn't... okay, Agatha," you admit for perhaps the first time ever out loud. Only Rio knows what happened to you in the years between them leaving and the last time you saw her. You made sure of that. The two of them had grand legacies but you wanted to be forgotten in history. Like the legend of Bloody Mary. Not a sole dare speaks your name anymore because who knows what'll happen if you show up.
"oh bunny," a pet name you hadn't heard in a very long time. It almost seemed childish now. Pathetic. "just talk to me."
"you don't care,"
"god do I have to do everything around here," Rio complains. "she was tried as a witch, Agatha. Use your head for once."
"Rio," you huff.
She rolls her eyes. "burned at the stake."
"Rio," you snarl. "stop. I don't wanna talk about it."
"yes you do," she responds sharply. "you want nothing more than to make Agatha Harkness feel guilty for leaving you. Hurt her the way she hurt you." you dart for her in one swift motion. A hand around her neck. The teasing just becoming too much, and you were sick of hearing her talk.
"you hurt me too," you bark, shoving her against the nearest tree. What should be fear is instead a small smirk and dark eyes.
"fiesty," she quips. She knows you won't kill her. You can't.
"you're the only person to ever leave a mark." you resume. "an ugly scar that my body just refuses to heal."
"come on sweet one." you drive a little harder. "make it hurt."
"do you know what it's like to be tied up and buried in a coffin? To slowly suffocate to death over and over and over again," fingernails dig into the skin of her neck. You can see it's having an effect. The wobble in her smile. "the way your body screams for oxygen. Your insides burning with desire but there is nothing you can do?"
"drop her," Agatha's hand reaches your shoulder and your powers kick in. Your free hand waves her away. Energy blasts her backwards and she stumbles to the ground. A lesser witch wouldn't know of Agatha's ability to drain magic but you were smarter than that. careful in your use despite the speed. control what's around her rather than directly blasting her.
"don't touch me," you growl.
"our... little girl... is all grown... up," choked out of Rio's mouth. You watch her grow a little paler. A little more starved for breath. And then you drop her. She crumbles to the floor. "and filled..." she coughs. "with... murderous rage... apparently."
"calm down," Agatha tries from her place on the floor, as she tries to get up. You use your magic to help her up. Leaving her hovering just a few feet off the ground.
"y'know, when they dragged me from bed and burned me at the stake all I could think about was you two. Surely, they didn't just leave without a word. They'll... come back and help me." you can still picture that night. The confusion. the heat. The pain. "you left me," you walk towards Agatha. "and look at you now. The great Agatha Harkness is completely powerless."
"we're sorry, okay- aren't we rio?" rio shrugs a little. With a heavy sigh, you drop Agatha to the ground. "you've come a long way bunny."
"wasn't really a choice,"
"Can we just backtrack a little," the older witch requests. Brushing herself off as she stands back up.
"immortality looks good on you," Rio teases. You hold up a middle finger.
"you're immortal?"
"for the longest time, I thought one of you cursed me with it. Some fucked up way of protecting me. But then I went looking for you. Heard all about your extra circular activities. Witch killer, hiding behind dark magic," Agatha just looks back as you turn to Rio. She knew the story. "Rio was easier to find,"
"should have stayed dead," Rio insisted, the cold metal blade dancing across the scar on your neck. "how easier that would be," you shove her away and she just chuckles. "oh how I missed this," she wonders over to were Agatha is stood.
"I'm going back to sleep," you announce. "let's just leave it at that,"
"Why did you come," Agatha asks. You wonder if it's worth the conversation. The headache of continuing to engage with them. "if you hate me so much?"
"to die," you say eventually as you head back to camp.
// NEXT
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zyhkoo · 4 months ago
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☆ everything i know about love
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dick grayson and jason todd x fem!reader (separate)
they drunkenly propose
a/n: i was inspired by this fic my friend showed me, i hope you guys like this one!
Jason todd
Jason never understood the fuss about marriage. Just a piece of jewelry and some vows, and you're suddenly yoked to someone for life. No thanks. He had more important things to worry about than tying the knot. Besides, he enjoyed his freedom far too much to be tied down like that.
Why commit to one person when the world is full of interesting people to meet and adventures to be had? Jason preferred to live life on his own terms, without the constraints of a ring on his finger.
His secret identity as Red Hood only added to the list of reasons why marriage didn't fit into Jason's plans. His life was dangerous and unpredictable, and he couldn't risk the safety of a loved one by involving them in his shadowy world. Plus, balancing a marriage and a secret life as a crime-fighter would be nearly impossible. It was better for everyone involved if Jason continued his nocturnal escapades alone.
Surprisingly enough, Jason found himself softening his stance while dating you. It wasn’t like he suddenly became a relationship enthusiast overnight, but he couldn’t deny the subtle change in his perspective.
Though marriage still seemed like a far-off possibility, Jason realized that a fulfilling relationship didn't necessarily require a ring. He was content with the way things were, cherishing the connection he had with you and the moments they shared. The idea of a wedding might still make him a bit nervous, but he knew what mattered most was the happiness you shared in the present.
As the buzz about your relationship grew, the questions about when you were getting married started to come up more frequently. Your friends would throw subtle hints during conversations, or nosy family members would outright ask, expecting a firm timeline. Jason felt the pressure, too. The constant reminders of marriage were like a nagging voice in the back of his mind, pushing him to make a decision he wasn’t ready for. The pressure was mounting, but Jason stubbornly held onto his reservations.
Then, it hit him. Wedding fever.
The last wedding the two of you attended was your best friend’s. You couldn't believe it when you accidentally caught the bouquet at your best friend's wedding. It was just a silly tradition, nothing more. At least, that's what you thought. Little did you know, the effect of the bouquet would hit someone unexpected: Jason.
Suddenly, the mere touch of that bouquet ignited a strange fervor within him. A fever for the idea of marriage, something he had vehemently opposed in the past. Jason watched as your friends and family playfully teased you about catching the bouquet, but his mind was elsewhere. He stood there, dumbfounded, as if the sight of you with that bouquet had somehow changed everything.
His thoughts were a whirlwind of confusion and newfound desire. How could a simple bouquet have such an impact on him? He was the guy who never wanted to get married, and now he was practically salivating at the thought. What was happening to him?
When he had too much to drink, you dragged him back to the hotel room.
You gently pulled Jason into the hotel room, his body leaning heavily against yours as the alcohol dulled his senses. You decided to undress him so he'd be more comfortable, unbuttoning his polo shirt while his breath tickled your neck. But as you reached the last button, Jason suddenly leaned forward and pressed a desperate, hungry kiss against your lips.
You were caught off guard by his sudden move, but you couldn't resist the passion behind the kiss. You returned his kiss, your lips responding tenderly and gently meeting him. As he pulled away, your heart skipped a beat as Jason looked into your eyes, his words slurred but his gaze steady. "Marry me," he said.
Here he was, the man who had once been so skeptical about marriage, proposing to you in the midst of a drunken stupor. You couldn't believe what you were hearing, you were absolutely baffled. You stammered, trying to find the right words to say. “What?” you muttered.
"I said, marry me," he repeated as he gripped your wrist. “M’ serious," he insisted, as if trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince you.
You couldn't help but stand there with your mouth open, in disbelief at the words that were coming out of his mouth. This was the same man who had been adamantly against the idea of marriage just a few hours ago, and now he was drunkenly proposing to you! Jason's lips grazed against your fingers, his breath warm and words slurred but still filled with a sweet intensity. "Come on," he muttered, clinging to your hand. "Just say yes."
You could feel the nerves in your voice as you struggled to find the right words. "Wow, uh...I'd love to say yes, but maybe we should call it a day first. Let's talk about it in the morning, okay?"
Jason's eyes softened as he looked at you, his drunken state making it difficult for him to comprehend your words. But he nodded, albeit reluctantly. "In the morning," he repeated, his voice slurring. "But m’ serious, I do want to marry you." You gave him a small, reassuring smile. "I know you're serious," you said softly, gently stroking his hair. "We'll talk about it in the morning, when you're sober, okay?"
Dick Grayson
It all began with a simple birthday surprise from Dick– a beautiful white cake that bore an uncanny resemblance to a wedding dress. Unintentionally, it planted the seed of wedding fever in Dick's mind. Slowly, the realization dawned upon him, sparking a subtle yet determined desire to make his love for you official.
Dick found himself wrestling with how to broach the subject. While you had occasionally mentioned a future together, marriage had never explicitly entered the picture in your conversations. He pondered how to bring up the idea without catching you off guard.
Late one night, after an evening of bonding with his siblings over a few drinks, Dick returned to the cozy abode he shared with you. In his grip, he clutched a single daisy, its delicate white petals gently swayed with each movement. As he stepped inside, he revealed a paper ring resting on his palm, its simplicity belying the depth of emotion he wanted to convey.
You looked down at the paper ring in Dick's hand with puzzlement in your eyes. "What is this?" you asked. His heart thumped in his chest as he saw your confused eyes. He took a step closer, the petals of the flower trailing across your skin. A gentle smile played on his lips as he slurred, “It’s a ring, f’ course.”
He held the ring up, offering it to you. “I want to…” he trails his words. “You want to..?” you continued his sentence. He looks into your eyes, the paper ring still offered in his hand. He’s taking in the sight of you, wearing nothing more than a pair of sleep shorts and one of his old t-shirts, with your hair messy on your head.
“I… I want to marry you,” he says quietly.
You replied quickly, “Sure.” you said casually. A hint of surprise flickered in Dick's eyes. He had braced himself for a range of potential reactions, but this one had caught him off guard. Dick's mouth hung open for a moment, and for a split second he was at a loss for words. "Sure?" he repeated, his voice laced with a mixture of disbelief and a touch of confusion. He looked at you in slight surprise, his mind processing the unexpected simplicity of your response.
“Yeah,” you replied as you held his hand. “Let’s get married.”
His mind raced, trying to process the unexpected simplicity of your response. He’d been expecting a little bit more discussion, maybe even some tears, yet here you were, casually agreeing to his impromptu proposal. He stared down at you, a mix of surprise and elation flooding his expression. He looked at your hand holding his thumb running against the back of your hand.
“Just like that?” he chuckled, a bit breathlessly. You only smiled softly, “Why wouldn’t I marry someone like you?” you told him. “Let’s get you to bed, you’re gonna have a massive hangover tomorrow.”
He looked down at the paper ring on his hand, then back at you. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, as he took your hand in his, and placed the ring upon your finger. “Now it’s official,” he chuckled, looking down at the simple paper ring on your finger.
💍 discord server please like and reblog!
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tsumuus · 5 months ago
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mha boys as american high school teenage stereotypes
a/n this isn't an original idea, ik that, but this is just my take on it. also lowk just based off of ppl ik irl but also just really similar to the actual character. also these are really short n simple, my brain wasn't able to think any further
characters katsuki bakugou, shoto todoroki, izuku midoriya, eijiro kirishima, denki kaminari, hanta sero, tenya iida, hitoshi shinsho
masterlist
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katsuki bakugou
not just saying this bc he's my fav
but quite literally the most popular person at school
like hes handsome, athletic, smart, rich, all of the above, no one could ever compare
everybody would have a crush on him (shit i would too)
or hate him
no in between
but he's still very intimidating so he doesn't have a lot of friends and has a heard time making em
not saying he's a playboy or anything
but definitely gets hella attention from girls
but he is more often than not uninterested
he would play football no doubt, run track/shot put during his off season to stay fit
not a douchebag but he totally comes off as one
shoto todoroki
he's the loser, the loner
actually jk, bc i really don't believe anyone is a loner
theres gotta be someone he talks too
hes that smart kid whos schedule is filled w ap n honors classes
and his only friends would be classmates that hes not super close w so they never talk outside of school (me lol)
hes rich rich
def plays tennis or golf, school and club
he's THE hallway crush
especially for like underclassmen
he just gives off that mysterious vibe that makes girls fall for him
not to mention he is sooooo pretty
like it's not a secret that he is attractive
but he's never had a gf or even a situationship in his life
idek
izuku midoriya
teachers pet 100% lol
not the smartest but also not dumb
like definitely top 20% of his class
i feel like he would take part in a lot of extracurriculars
he's not popular at all
but has a small group of close friends
so so sassy
like imagine arguing w him about a random subject
and you just start to piss him off
he just puts you on blast and starts embarrassing the hell out of you
making you feel hella stupid
he doesn't do it to be mean or anything
he's just a sassy lil guy idk
sassy man apocalypse!!
eijiro kirishima
social butterfly
friends with everyone
but not like a floater friend
but literally just everyones friend
like he's so genuine and is able to get along with everybody
sooo loyal
always has the best advice
definition of boyfriend material!!!
probably has had a long term gf
he takes his relationships n friendhsips so seriously
definitely plays multiple sports
idk i see him as a wrestler or even like gymnastics lol
lowk imagine him apart of the schools student council or leadership club
fully goes out for football games/friday night lights
denki kaminari
class clown fs
also lowk rlly flirty but has never had a gf or even come close
like such a ladies man
thats just part of his personality
most of his friends are girls but not in a weird way
he's the life of the party
lowk one of the only characters i can see myself having a smoke sesh w lol
big party goer
theres a house party being thrown
best believe he's there
he's not the brightest of the bunch
but he does try, its not like hes lazy
he's also so pretty
deff one of those guys w the longest eyelashes than any girl lol
lowk tennis player!denki?
also sorta see him as a swimmer/waterpolo
hanta sero
he is just so friendly
lowk a npc
but i still love him
he's so laid back and chill and has such a relaxed personality
like if you'd ever need to just have a calm night/hang out with one of your friends, he's the first person youd call
has had mulitple gfs, but def not a player
they just never seem to workout
would start a bs club with his friends so every other week they could just order a couple pizzas to school and hang out in the chill teachers class
idk i feel like hes kinda artsy
like he took art 1 his freshman year just for an easy a and schedule requirements, but he realized he was actually kinda creative
likes to doodle in class rather than pay attention now
lowk plays basketball
big car guy!!
tenya iida
THE honor student
number 1 in his class
5.0 gpa
student council persident all 4 years of high school
friend group is made up of all the other nerds who take 10+ ap classes
definitely got into multiple colleges before even applying
definitely not just saying this because of his quirk, but would lowk do track n xc
everything ive said so far i legit just his normal self😭😭😭 lemme try to get more specific
lowk imagine an iida where like outside of school he's lowk a partier
like imagine him getting blackout drunk every weekend but sobering up for school every week
and still being the best student in his grade
he's just so handsome
multiple girls have liked him but he's rejected them due to wanting to have his life set in place before thinking about romance
hitoshi shinso
he's so fucking emo just look at him
ok well not emo but just a little alternative
but yk in an american high school being a little alt means other people see you as full out gothic
so what if he's just a little quiet and brooding☹️☹️
again he's also smart
but he doesn't take all those honor classes
he wouldn't admit it but his favorite genre to watch is reality tv
best believe he was fully invested in season 6 of love island
#ppgbackontop
not an athletic guy
but was definitely forced to like play soccer or sum as a kid
works at your local comic/record store
all the emo girls that come in have a crush on him
thats all i got😫
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