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redwinewhiteroses · 1 month

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What are your person's current feelings about you?🩷 💌 🎀

Pick an image

Choose the image that you are drawn to the most.

‼️For entertainment purposes only‼️

...Images numbered from left to right...

Let me know if your reading resonated in the comments below.

What reading should I do next?

Sending you a virtual hug! 🩵🩵🩵

[ Image 1 ]

Your person might be going through a lot in life right now. It seems that they might be dealing with ups and downs relating to their career, education or other areas of their life. For some you might be experiencing some kind of hardship in your relationship. It's like as if they are sailing the rough seas or facing some issues. They are trying to keep their head above the water literally. They are trying to balance all areas of their life while trying to have more control of the circumstances that are currently happening in their lives. They feel like they don't have enough for themselves or to provide for you. There's this lack or scarcity mindset about not being able to give or receive enough. They are hopeful about the future and definitely tries to see the long term and as of now there isn't much action from their part. Your relationship might be facing some sort of stagnation due to your person's personal hardships. Things might not be going as this person has hoped and there's some delay or lack of fulfillment they are feeling. This person might have a vision that is taking too long to come into fruition. I'm also seeing they are contemplating making a choice about something whether it is moving on from a situation that is no longer serving them or trying to change their ways so better results can occur. I think this person believes you have treated them fairly and they definitely want to do right by you. This could be a new relationship for some or this might be a relationship that hasn't taken off the ground. For those of you who has a solid relationship, your partner may even be thinking about taking your relationship to the next level or considering commitment but worried they don't have all the resources they need in order to do it as they hope. They want to do it right. They just might lack the resources needed but they will eventually come up with an offer of commitment or otherwise. But as of now, they are incredibly busy juggling all the responsibilities in their life. I think your person is very much focussed in achieving balance and trying to do the right thing and trying to be more decisive in taking the right actions. As of now, your person isn't in the feels or trying not to think too much about it. Definitely more logical than emotional. Lastly I would say to have patience and to try to be more optimistic if things aren't going exactly the way you want. Self care might help. That's all I'm seeing for my dear pile ones.

Random messages : Heartbreak, Burden, Too much, Break, Beachside, Saturn, Ask and you'll have it, Soul's desire, Think gain, Gentle monster, One more round, Why do you avoid me?, Nourishment, Milk and honey, I think I know something, Honeymoon

Songs : Exile - Taylor Swift

2U - Justin Bieber

Hope this resonates. This is a collective reading so there were multiple circumstances comimg through. Can be different for everyone but this has been the overall energy.

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[ Image 2 ]

Your person might be quite adventurous and lively and even possess childlike qualities or lighthearted energy in general. Your person feels excited and there are budding passionate feelings for sure. But at the same time they may feel the like there's not much depth in the relationship or for some of you there own feelings may be quite surface level and not so rooted as of now. Feels like there is something that is getting in the way of you two developing a deeper connection. They might feel like something's missing or there could be a lack of clarity. They may be feeling a bit suspicious maybe because there's sparing feelings or they are feeling deceived by their own feelings. They could feel like they can't be fully themselves around you or they might feel like putting a mask or hiding certain aspects about themselves. For some of you, this person could even be a bit deceitful or unfaithful or they might already be in a relationship with someone else and the passionate feelings they have been developing for you could be from a place of dishonesty as well (This message is only for a very few of you.) And for others this could mean that they are a bit hesitant to validate their feelings because they are scared to make a choice. They could have one foot in one foot out thinking that either will bring about negative consequences. Some might not want to commit because they might be unwilling to make a sacrifice, so they could appear a bit sneaky. There could be a choice to make between love or friendship. This could be a workplace situation for some of you. You might have complimentary energies as well. They could feel like you are deceiving them, but they could also be feeling like they are deceiving you despite the complimentary energy you both share. Your person might be really attracted to you, might also be inspired by you in some way. They may be more receptive to you than usual and really impressed by you. You could be working together as a team or workplace vibes again. But they might be very passive and they might not want to do anything about these feelings is what is coming through. They might feel like these feelings aren't going anywhere but at the same time they feel like they cannot be honest. Their hands are tied in some way. They might not want to initiate anything with you fearing something will go wrong and they kinda fear taking responsibility. This could be a dynamic with a boss or an employee even a coworker for some of you. They might not be very communicative and conceal and sweep their feelings under the rug. They might feel like the ball is in your court. I think it's important to be more cautious if there's any deception going on here and to safeguard your own feelings. Also good communication will help clear any doubts regarding this relationship. All in all they feel lighthearted passion for you and might feel like it's not too deep or something's missing. They might feel like they cannot be themselves around you. They might see you as a good companion and really attracted to you and inspired by you but they feel like they cannot do much about it even if they wanted to. That's all for for group twos.

Random messages : Passion, I wish you well, Stop wanting/Act like it/Act for it, Warm embrace, Holiday, Eat up, Under the moonlight, Gentleman, Starlight/Aquarius/Fame, Diabolical, Aphrodite, Princess

Songs : Afterglow - Ed Sheeran

Hope this resonates. This is a collective reading so there were multiple circumstances comimg through. Can be different for everyone but this has been the overall energy.

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[ Image 3 ]

Oh what can I say group three, this energy is awesome. Your person is so much in their feels having butterflies in their stomach whenever they see you. They have very very deep emotional feelings for you and you might already be aware of that. For some of you, this person might have a fat crush on you, and you might not know yet since they haven't told you yet. Your person could be very energetic, confident and pretty straightforward and even lovey dovey. I'm seeing they are definitely impatient and restless and when they want something, they want it right away. A bit ruthless if you will. I think they know you are the one for them and they are super driven to make things work between the two of you. They might be vocal about their feelings for you and might be really passionate and emotional when speaking them through words. They really have a soft spot in their heart for you. A true romantic at heart. They feel loved and supported by you, and they feel nurturing and compassionate towards you. They care deeply and want the best for you. Literally want to see you happy. You might be a healing presence in their life. If you are not in a relationship with this person yet, they are pretty determined to win you over. Your person might be really attractive and very charming for sure. I think your person is too much in their feelings to the point they feel trapped lol. They feel like they are blinded by their love for you. Or you might make them feel weak on their knees. They feel kinda vulnerable ngl. I think that's because of the intensity of their feelings they think you have wrapped them around your finger. For some of you, this person might fear getting hurt by you, or think that it's inevitable since they've fallen head over heels for you. They can't stop thinking about you and they feel too much intensely. Also they might be in love with the idea of love and might have unrealistic expectations from love due to which they feel quite suffocated. May even be trapped in a fantasy in love for some of you. They feel like you are their wish come true and there is an abundance of cheerful and sweet romantic feelings. You definitely bring so much joy into their lives my dear group threes. I think they have this desire to spend more time together with you. Your person might even show you off to their loved ones. They are grateful for the connection between you and they are really happy to do life with you. Like it's their wish come true to be working with you on creating something. Maybe creating a stable foundation for an even stronger relationship with you. For some of you, y'all might be collaborating with them on something. You boost their self confidence and they really love that about you. They are excited to see where your relationship can go. They think you two are better together as a couple than separate individuals. You might bring the best in each other. They trust you and there's mutual respect between the two of you. There are so much tender feelings they have for you, they literally would do anything to make you happy, to see you smile. Honestly this pile makes my heart so happy.

Random messages : Carry your heart with you, Aphrodite, Rubies and Pearls, Mystic, What do you want?, Too much to ask, It's all happening right now, Forest retreat, Lovely voice, Deep dive, Boss baby, I want more

Songs : Dandelions - Ruth B.

Those eyes - New West

Hope this resonates. This is a collective reading so take what resonates.

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[ Image 4 ]

Your person definitely has strong feelings and feel a lot of passion for you. There might have been some issues in your relationship, minor ones, or a lack of clarity. Your person wants to have some clear communication with you so you both can have a better relationship. They might not reach out immediately but they're definitely contemplating talking things out with you. Some of you might even be recovering from a breakup from this person or you might currently be in separation with them. They do want to reach out to have more clarity but I see them being rather rash or reckless so you might have to be mindful of how you communicate and arrive at a resolution. For those of you who are not yet in a relationship with them yet, I think they are feeling like their hands are tied due to some issues keeping you guys apart from each other or there's a choice to make about friendship or love and they fear that either choice will bring about negative consequences. They feel quite helpless if that's the case but also definitely very dedicated to communicate and overcome them some time in the future so you both could arrive at a better place. Their feelings for you are changing in a more positive direction right now, however they are mutable and changing. Although they have positive feelings, they are hot and cold and they might think differently time to time. They have sweet, deep and nurturing feelings for you. They care a lot about you and there's really good emotional understanding between the two of you. They want to see you happy and they are so supportive of you. For some of you this person might want some sort of commitment with you, be it marriage or wanting to take your relationship to the next level. Or they want to celebrate you, all of you. They feel like your relationship is fated and it was just meant to be. For those of you recovering from a breakup or in separation with this person, they might have the intention to reconcile but it's volatile and they haven't fully made up their mind about it right now but overall things have started to change. They might even be observing you. For some this could be a karmic connection and it could be a good one or a rather challenging one. They feel that you complete them in a deep way. You make them feel secure. They definitely see you fitting into their long-term vision of the future. These feelings are a bit changeable but right now they're really positive and any outcomes can be promising. For existing relationships there could've been a situation where they felt vulnerable and had to make a choice that required a sacrifice. Or they wanted a deeper level of commitment and they were disappointed it didn't happen the way they expected. This person have been resisting their feelings or change because they made them feel quite vulnerable. There's this feeling of them feeling trapped due to some reason. This can be interpreted in many ways. There's many situations here so take what resonates. I'm seeing it's different for everyone here. I think they have deep emotional and romantic feelings for you even sexual. Recently they might have had some clarity or they might soon have better understanding about whatever this situation is. They definitely want to initiate conversation and just come clean about everything. Probably they want to just pour all their emotions and feelings on to the table for you to see. I see them wanting you to see and validate their feelings for them. I think for some of you this person might be obsessive or pretty possessive about you. They are pretty impulsive about their feelings for you. They romanticize you for sure and really have tender and potent feelings for you. They probably want to confess their feelings for you.

That's all I'm seeing for my dear group fours. I hope you try to gain clarity if you and your person have been having issues. There's a lot of feelings here so I think you'll emerge victorious despite obstacles. Arriving at a common ground and talking things through will definitely help. Meanwhile try to be mindful about what you really want and get to know yourself better so you can love yourself and others better. Listen to your heart and strive for a healthy balance between emotions and logic. And be positive. All will be well.

Random messages : Clarity, Nourishment/Moon/Gentle/Mother, Have fun, What you think you want, Heaven and Earth, Babies, Mystic, Some other time, Try again, Honeymoon, I want more, Caramel, All mine, Milk and Honey, Repeating cycles, Wedding bells

Songs : I wanna be yours - Arctic Monkeys

#tarot #tarot reading #pac reading #pick a pile #pick a photo #pick an image #love reading #tarot love reading #relationship reading #tarot cards

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doyoulikethissong-poll · 4 months

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Commonly asked questions

How do I submit songs? Submissions are currently closed. When it opens up again, I'll post a message here stating rules and which specific info I require. If you don't supply that info along with the song, your message will be deleted.

I submitted a song when we were allowed. When will it appear? :) There's waaay over two thousand songs in my askbox. 😅 And I'm very slow at posting submitted songs because it takes an oddly more amount of time and energy than you'd think, that's why it's easier for me to go with the songs I already have. Please have a bit more patience, hopefully it'll be posted soon enough! 💖

I don't like the genres posted recently. 🤷‍♀️ I mean, you can tell me what genres there's a lack of and I'll try put more effort into adding more of them.

I don't like the poll options. 🤷‍♀️

Will there be an "Indifferent" option? No. People bitched and very rudely demanded it when the blog was new and it left a very sour taste. Also we're 250+ songs in, it's kinda meh to add it now, but I definitely understand why you want it because some songs are really hard to define if you feel anything at all about them. (also you know people would just click indifferent to see the results instead of listening to the song lol) If I were to ever add more options, it would be love/hate.

How do I vote on a song if I feel indifferent about it? Indifferent = don't like it ig. 🤷‍♀️ Remember, I'm not asking you if you LOVE!!!!!! the song, or if you want to buy it. Liking can be as good as only a "meh, it's ok / decent enough to run in the background". Disliking can be being indifferent instead of outright hating it, when it's so neutral to you that it doesn't give you any positive feelings. It is only a minute long clip that I'm asking you to form an opinion about after all; you can change your mind either way when you hear the full version. Sometimes songs have to grow on you!

How do you pick the songs used in the polls? Mostly like this:

I have a huge mp3 hoarding archive so the submitted songs are easier for me to pick if they're already in my possession. 😅 Songs that aren't in my collection (tagged as #new to admin :D lol. sometimes i search out songs specifically for the poll that are tagged this as well) requires a bit more effort to download/listen to/edit but i have discovered a couple of great new gems so don't think i don't appreciate them!

How do I search for a specific artist/song that you've posted? All artists are tagged a day or so after the song reveal. Don't forget to use the hashtag symbol when searching or tumblr will give you all sorts of odd results!!!! (or none at all, lol) Please also remember that tumblr finds simple easy tasks extremely difficult, so only search for an artist with the easiest type of spelling, like #beyonce instead of #beyoncé. All artists and songs are added to the Complete Song List once their showdown poll is finished, for a quick search of what's been posted.

The audio quality is too poor for my taste!! 😡 sad </3

This is just for you. 💖

Why are all the songs of such vast variating quality? ....i mean, you didn't think I've bought all the tens of thousands of songs in my music library, did you...? Pirating songs gives you variations of quality, hell even my own cd rips have variations. It's easier to get better quality files now than it was back in the days, kiddos, so yeah some songs in the archives needs to be updated with new files. I have some very ancient mp3's that are in really low sound, that i've instead downloaded newer versions of in better quality for the polls but y'all still give me shit about it because the artist have remastered the track to unrecognition or whatever so there's just no pleasing some people i guess lmao. 😂

Do you like all the songs you've posted? No, lol. All the songs that are in my archive are songs I've at least liked enough once upon a time to save them, even if I'm not actively listening to them much anymore. Everything tagged as #new to admin :D are new songs to me that I may or may not like, regardless if they're submitted or if I've scouted them out myself only for the polls. :) Songs that I hate so much that I can't stand them are very few, and I won't waste time on adding them!

Did you change the song in the poll?? No. Maybe you clicked on the wrong one if I posted them too close together or maybe (most likely) tumblr has screwed something up for you. Some songs don't even show at times because it's tumblr being tumblr, just wait it out for a few minutes and tumblr will eventually remember to play the audio. So far there's only one song that I had to re-upload because tumblr killed the file. I can change the clip to better audio or to another part of the same song, but I never replace it to a different one once it's out there for you to vote on, I don't see the point of doing that.

Why are some polls audio files and other video files? Again: tumblr being tumblr. They won't allow some songs to be uploaded as audio, but using them in videos is ok. I hate the audio-as-video format and it requires even more effort from me so I'm not doing it on purpose. :)

I don't remember if I've heard this song before or not. If you know you've heard it, like if you're a fan or a hater or the song has been constantly played on the radio, you know it. (this is why the phrasing has been changed again in the latest polls) If you don't remember it, or just vaguely, or just a specific tiny part used in a meme/tiktok video, choose first time. The only thing that matters is the yes or no, knowing it or not is just an added fun but don't take it too seriously. :) Look at it sort of like "old fan/casual listener/hater vs new listener".

The part of the song that you posted SUCKS!!!! You should have just posted this one specific famous part for people to vote yes! "don't post the actual song in this song poll" ...................................like, no. not gonna post just the meme-bits or the drops or the whatever. Yeah i saw all the comments how you all clicked dislike on "Out of Touch" because you voted before you got to the chorus 😂 That's an honest opinion about the song lol, because a song is more than just a catchy chorus or a big drop. But yeah, sometimes one verse of a song would've maybe been better to post instead of that other verse, I'm with you on that.

I queued this song to see what it is but it's still stated as being Anonymous for me! Reblogs, drafts and queues will only show you what's there at the time, like a screenshot. It won't update automatically. All your reblogs, drafts and queued posts from when the poll is active will only show up as Anonymous songs. Always go back to the original post to see the song reveal. If the info isn't there, then give me a day or two to update the post because most likely things are too busy irl. 💖

I voted wrong/voted before I recognized the song! Will you change my vote? No, I'm not recounting anything wth. 😅

I'm embarrassed. I like the song but I don't want others to know that I do. I promise you that nobody but you can see how you've voted. Not me or your mutuals. Only you see what you've voted on. It's ok to like bad songs, and it's ok to like good songs by bad people. Don't let others shame you for that.

How do I vote on this cover/remix that was posted instead of the original? If you feel like this version is close to the original that you like, vote yes. If you don't feel like this version does the original song justice, vote no, even if it hurts.

This song that I don't know samples another song that I do know. How do I vote? I don't consider samples being used as being the same song, so pick first time. Unlike covers/remixes, the original song that has been sampled might show up at a later time, if it hasn't already been on here before.

How does so many people not know this song!!? Everyone is not your age/not from your country and your experience is not universal. 🤷‍♀️ That being said, I too get wtf-moments sometimes because some songs really do get wacky results, so, yeah 😂

Have you ever thought about-- Yes.

I demand you give me a rickroll!!!!!! Ask things nicely instead of demanding things from me. (This is the most common demand I've gotten, sigh. Thanks to those of you who have at least asked nicely and/or with a sense of humour!)

Please do a rickroll? It's already been posted in a bonus poll. It might show up in a "real" poll in years from now if this poll blog is still active but as of now it was added to a tumblr meme post where it was better suited.

I'm gonna ignore that submissions are closed and send you song suggestions anyway!!!! They will be deleted because they're not asked for atm. Unless you're the artist. Exceptions can be made in that case. :)

This poll blog doesn't respect my requirement to know who the artists are before I listen to their songs because of my need - that is very important that everyone else needs to acknowledge and follow - to know if a person is of a good moral standing according to my own views!! 😡 There's other poll blogs better suited for you. Not everything online has to be adjusted to fit *your* particular needs. 🤷‍♀️ (YES i've actually gotten this demand way too often. Sigh.)

Why was my reblog hidden from the notes where I spew hatred over an artist?! You are censoring me!!!! Did you mention the artist by name, or other obvious spoilers? Don't post spoilers. 🤷‍♀️

You hid this other comment I made with no spoilers!!!!! Sometimes comments show in dashboard mode but not in app mode and vice versa, or not even in the notifications. Haven't we already established that tumblr finds easy stuff extremely difficult? Also, sometimes you and I don't share an opinion of what a spoiler means. To all of you who have claimed an artist's name isn't a spoiler, yeah it's kind of a big one. As for the artist mentioning their own name or the song title in the song, you only hear that once you listen to the clip. Knowing it before even clicking to play the music is a spoiler.

Why have you turned off replies? I want to say things without reblogging!! I mean 🤷‍♀️ I'm sure you know why. Replies and anons have been turned off from the very beginning. The few times replies actually have been turned on, it's been stated as such and been very temporarily, like when we've discussed music in some post.

Turn on anon!!! I'm to shy to say thing off-anon! I mostly reply to things privately, or this blog would be nothing but q&a. Anons are off for a reason. Abuse and death threats are to be associated with the sender's account for all to see. I'm always nice to nice people so there's no need to worry about sending me questions or tagging me in things. :) 💖

I demand you to-- Pay me. :)

Shut up and take the abuse thrown at you personally because you're just a poll blog! You are aware that the poll blogs on tumblr aren't actually run by bots, right? Don't be an obnoxious twat. (and ughh yes, this too has been said to me several times. Sigh.)

I want you to add this song I want RIGHT NOW and/or i WANT these other options added now! Rich people can always break all the rules, just like irl. Just give me the $$$$ 😘

I don't like this song because I don't understand the language. Please only post English songs. Ok well, I mean, you can always learn other languages. 🤷‍♀️ Just like how I learned English.

If anyone feels targeted by these last questions without me meaning to, I'm sorry. These actually are the most common questions and comments and demands I've gotten in my askbox. Especially when the blog was new and people Demanded Their Rights to have me adjust everything to suit them. Don't feel like you can't state your thoughts in reblogs or in messages because as long as you're not being rude to me, my attitude on some answers isn't targeted at you, only at them. 💖 Remember to just have fun with the polls and hopefully you and/or your mutuals discover new music!

#qna

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deconstructthesoup · 2 months

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Okay, I had thoughts on forming a legit DBD Hadestown AU, and seeing as they kept me up literally all last night, it seemed only fitting that I actually write them down. So:

Charles and Edwin are, obviously, Orpheus and Eurydice respectively. However, rather than having just met and falling into a whirlwind romance, I decided that they're childhood friends who've met again and rediscovered feelings that they'd both been ignoring for a long time. Edwin is dedicated soley to figuring out why the world is dying and if he can help people while he can, and he hasn't really let himself rest, or even feel happy, in years---to the point where he feels that any good thing is too good to be true, even falling in love. Charles, on the other hand, has long since made the decision that someone has to be happy and keep spirits up in the trying times, and it might as well be him... even at the cost of his own health, as he works tirelessly on a song that he knows, despite all logic and understanding, will bring back spring again.

Crystal is Hermes, but she is also Hecate---she is the goddess of the in-between, magic, trickery, the crossroads, and restless souls... and that last part refers not only to the dead that she guides to Hadestown, but to anyone who chooses a life of wandering the road, from the honest messenger to the thieving highwayman. And yet, since the world has begun to die, she's been slowly slipping away from her role, choosing to spend her time among the mortals. This decision, of course, is helped by the fact that not only is Crystal one of the few gods who thinks there's more to the world dying than it just being "a reflection of mortal hubris," but that she's managed to make a friend in Charles. She's seen the way that music can change the world, after all, and knowing that there's at least one mortal who still has hope means that she can still believe.

Niko is a combination of Aphrodite and Dionysus---she's the goddess of love, revelries, happiness, and abundance, yes, but she's also the goddess of the mania that comes when all of those things are taken too far, and she's been dipping more and more into that side of herself as the world gets worse and worse. She wants to forget all the pain and suffering, and she gives herself and others the means to do so, even if it's all temporary. And while Niko does care for the mortals, and wishes that things could get better... deep down, she's lost a lot of her old hope, and even she can't disguise the fact that she's living with a broken heart.

Monty is Persephone, but he's also Apollo---he's the god of rebirth, prophecies, the stars and the earth, and new beginnings... and for what should be half of the year, he rules over the dead. He used to find just as much joy in watching over the souls as he did creating spring with Niko and charting the stars to bring prophecies to the mortals, but as Hadestown gets more punishing, more people die up above, and the world just gets worse, Monty grows even more bitter and closed off. He's unable to even properly enjoy his time on the surface, knowing full well that he won't stay for six months like he should... and the man he loves is wearing his patience thin.

The Cat King is Hades---and yes, somebody did make a very compelling argument for him being the Fates, but it works for the story, so just hang on. Once upon a time, he was happy just ruling over souls and managing the afterlife, and he cherished the time he spent with Monty as much as he could. But over time, wealth became added to his already vast domain, and his fascination for making and collecting things became an obsession... in no small part due to the fact that those six months spent away from Monty started to weigh incredibly heavy on him, and he eventually loses himself in his effort to replicate everything his husband loves about the upper world as it dies along with the way they used to feel about each other. Not to mention, his old empathy and compassion for the souls has hardened into cold indifference at best and a sick enjoyment of their suffering at worst. And all this change is making one person in particular very happy...

Esther is the Fates, but she's also a version of Demeter---the goddess of nature and all of its love and cruelties, and the one who spins everyone's path on her loom, punishing those who dare to stray from what she has determined for them. She's despised the Cat King for years, ever since he whisked Monty away to Hadestown, and she wholeheartedly believes that the reason the world is dying is only because he's been keeping Monty down there for too long, not because they've begun to fall out of love. So, when Esther spins a tale of a pair of lovers who are destined to end tragically, she sees it as an opportunity to finally push the Cat King and Monty to the breaking point---to save her son and the world, she tells herself, but mostly for revenge.

#the story ends happily don't worry #charles is built different even if he's actually orpheus #also jenny is a combo of artemis and ares #and the night nurse is a version of athena #dead boy detectives #hadestown #charles rowland #edwin payne #crystal palace #niko sasaki #monty finch #the cat king #esther finch #payneland #crowcat #palaski

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hwaightme · 1 year

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Golden hour

THIS IS 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI FOR MOUNT'S SAKE (nsfw tags under the cut) (masterlist) (join taglist)

🟡 pairing: bf!san x fem!reader 🟡 genre: smut, pwp, a lot of fluff, established relationship 🟡 summary: in the busy urban jungle, one fateful night at a jazz bar, choi san met his angel of light. from then on, each moment is a breathtaking golden hour, your love a wondrous duet. 🟡 wordcount: 6.5k 🟡 warnings/tags: loving bf san, jazzman!san, you are the apple of his eye, trumpet player, two lovebirds making it in the big city, discussion of marriage, discussion of planning for the future, yes he wants a future with you, late night coffee, being goofy, lots of hugs+heart eyes, lmk if I missed anything! 🟡 a/n: presently in the middle of being a san appreciator and listening to a lot of jazz, which resulted in quite a few song references being interlaced in this ahah; thank you so much for your support, any reblogs, comments, thoughts always appreciated!~

🟡 perma-taglist: @legohwas @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @hongthoven @cqndiedcherries @uwuheeseungie @cheollipop @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @mingigoo @michel-angelhoe @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @mystar1024 @nebulousbookshelf @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @memoriesofwoo @ate-ez @toxicccred

🟡 nsfw tags: switch!san/the softest dom!san, switch!reader, the sheer volume of pet name use (sweetheart, darlin', love, angel, my light, my sun...), slight(?) hints at exhibitionism, light nipple play, lovebites/hickeys (giving/receiving), fingering, oral (f!recieving), handjob, hugging during sex, slow and steady, multiple orgasms, cockwarming, riding, unprotected sex (wrap that before you tap that pls), cum inside, soft and gentle aftercare

Enchanted by the ghostly wisps of steam rising from the cooling rich mahogany brew, twirling into the barren nightscape until they were nothing more than echoes of a magical breath, you waited. You were tired of conversing with the shadow stretched before you, from the sun-like lamp light rays that hopped from the window at the top of the stairs all the way down. So you sat there, between the fourth and the fifth floors of your apartment complex, studying the circular holes in the steps that had become your rocking chair for reminiscing. At nights like these, you took things slow, and let yourself sink into an intimate fragility. Only you and the remnants of a busy late night shift. The hair and skin, which even after bathing seemed to cling onto most, if not the entire bouquet of aromas from the bar; the hands, still bearing the traces of coolness from having heaped buckets of ice into overpriced drinks; the faded eyeshadow, the lipstick - most of it transferred to the mug of coffee, steadily approaching lukewarm, cradled in your hands. Habitually, you traced its rim, feeling for the chip in the ceramic that it sported like a scar, after you had accidentally dropped it on the counter. Its presence was grounding. A reminder that you existed in a world beyond the endless cycles. That sometimes, the unpredictable could happen to you too.

You found companionship in the fluorescent light perched above a sign that attempted, but failed to remind the locals not to litter, and the miniature exhibition of waste backs collected right below it. This scene, viewed from so many metres above, was almost poetic. It was endearing seeing the last hints of humour that your neighbours managed to retain despite the bleakness of the complex and its surroundings. Windows facing brick walls and going grey from smog, a cacophonic roar drilling into the ear drums from the ceaseless chatter of clubbers and late night diners ambling down the nearby wonders of nightlife. The flickering, leaking neon signs above business either long-closed for the day, or just beginning to awaken were practically pitiful, and yet, you could not help but feel a twinge of sentimentality when your mind traversed the area, reminding you of any changes you had spotted, new faces, new flyers; these were the only things that, without fail, would greet you as you walked back home in your midday, another’s time for deepest slumber. Perhaps one would think you were alone or lonely in this hour, remaining out of dreamland solely to tomorrow’s disillusionment. But to anyone who would dare propose something so ridiculous, one look at the smile that graced your lips as soon as you spotted a familiar figure making its way down the courtyard, and stopping to wave at you - knowing full well that you were sat at the stairwell, would be enough to cut any argument at its root. While he was not someone who you came home to often, despite you having lived together for what was about to be a year, Choi San was the music that soothed your soul, the sweetest song, the melody of your heart. He was there for you, and you were there for him. Even if that meant turning into a nocturnal creature, conversing aimlessly with a cuppa into the early hours.

You closed your eyes and counted his steps. Both of you had made it something of a routine to avoid the main entrance. Initially it had been as a joke and as a means to flee from the permanently vexed madam in her seventies who lived on the ground floor, shrill voice and a shivering, bitey pooch cooped up and cradled like baby; she had seen the two of you in states deemed dissatisfying in her view, and as such had turned into a guardian of the complex. A guardian from two young fools who lived to the fullest. In an adoring duet, you had found paths to your comfort, and soon enough, the emergency stairs were an ascension to your palace - shared paradise spanning a couple of rooms.

San’s resolved, confident steps as he made his way up the stairwell, skipping the second, avoiding the worn down centre of the step between the first and second floors; it was so worn down, in fact, that on some nights when the moon caught this side of the building just right, it was like a fallen star. You grinned to yourself as you recalled this theory. That star worked hard on giving you your wish; the wish whose slicked back, jet black locks you could already detail in your line of sight. As he made the last turn, you gripped your mug tighter; somehow, even after years of knowing this man, of loving this man, San never failed to ignite the warmest, cosiest flame within your soul. The home you had dreamed of, found not in four walls, but in this gentleman, who was now standing before you, hand outstretched and a gentle smile on his face. You graciously accepted the assistance, and let yourself be lifted off the ground with a light pull, to come face to face with your boyfriend. Your precious, funny valentine, with a heart of gold.

“Hey, darlin’, now, I told you the gig was gonna run ‘til late, why’re you up? And with your coffee?” he drawled as he searched for a place to put the case for the second most precious aspect of his life: his trumpet, settling on a nook closer to the inner railing - protected on all sides from a fall. You hummed, and took another cautious sip, studying the man before you.

Despite having woken up at the crack of dawn to walk you to your second job before commuting to his own, there was still that inextinguishable glint in his magnificent dark eyes. Feeling your gaze on him, San rolled his shoulders back, as though he had not a hint of weariness in his muscles, accidentally forcing one side of his favourite jacket, a vintage brown piece made of corduroy, to slip and commence its slow climb down his upper arm. Sighing, you twisted to set your cup aside on one of the stair steps, and made a move to fix it back in place, ignoring the way in which San's hands rapidly snaked to your waist.

"Mm, missed you Sannie." You responded, smoothing the non-existent creases on the black t-shirt he was wearing underneath, your touches lingering as if you had not rested your form on his chest thousands of times, each occasion imprinted in your memory for as long as there was music.

"I missed you more, Y/N…” his eyes darted a couple of times to your hands, only to slowly rise, and focus on the black top that you had chosen to change into after your workday. San exhaled, amused as he imagined you waddling around the apartment wrapped up in that fleece towel you liked, ready to raid the wardrobes. Taking the very edge at the base of the article between his thumb and index finger , he toyed with it, and stated as a matter of factly: “I can see you're stealing my shirts again."

"Well… I can take it off…" you trailed off, moving to undo the very top button, stifling a giggle as San instantly dropped his act and pinched the collar together. He shook his head, gaze glossed over, unreadable. His other hand inched a little closer to your hip, sliding down - a barely noticeable change, but it nevertheless sent sparks across your skin and left you struggling to breathe.

"Uh-uh, that's for my eyes only. Can't have you flaunting something priceless for the whole block." tugging on the shirt, he guided you into his arms and wrapped himself around you, taking in the smell of home. The aroma of his gift that was today, the promise that was tomorrow, and the dream that was the symphonies of a future to come.

It was surreal, the moment he came home. Be it to wait for your shift to end while he tried to get a simple dinner cooking on the stove, or to have you waiting, just like this, curled up on the stairs, every bit a cat basking in the warm glow that resembled the sunset in its hue, falling down the steps from the window of your, and his apartment. As he stood in front of you, etching your form into his memory as if each time he saw you you were someone new, he imagined what it would be like to truly come back at sundown. Have dinner earlier than midnight, spend the evening chatting away about this and that, hidden under a woollen throw that you had found at a thrift store. Let the last rays of the sun, departing to its sleeping quarters, wash over the two of you as you would hold one another in a long, loving embrace, rocking to the ballads only you knew and shared. Sometimes he wondered whether what he played outside of this magical golden hour that was ‘you and him’ was truly music, when all the melodies to divine adoration played in your caresses. Whether the words he sang held any meaning if they were not dedicated to you, sung to you. Whether the sultry notes of the trumpet were anything but noise if you were not there to hear it.

Crash landed into the big city, he had been a boy with stars in his eyes and boundless ambition. He had wanted to fight the world alone, head on, and had no feel for the rhythm of the metropolis, its people, its jazz scene. He had assumed that he was wanted, and oh, how wrong he had been. Rejection after rejection, San had found himself playing on the streets for a couple of bills to last the day, and had run into a debt with a cruel landlord - so large, that he had considered turning to less conventional solutions. But then, by some stroke of luck, he had met other musicians who were dreamers, warriors of the arts, those with impeccable feel for every note, every off-beat both in the pieces they would cover or improvise, as well as life. Just like that, San had found himself a band, and by the grace of destiny itself, he had found himself performing at a bar, the bar, where he had the boundless joy of meeting you.

An old hole in the wall in the middle of downtown, it had been your first place of work since moving in more central from the outskirts. Having been on the scene for a lot longer than him, sweeping, cooking, mixing - anything you could get your hands on, you knew practically all the artists around town, thanks to your appreciation of their life’s essence in the form of jazz and their habitual lingering around the bar to chat after a show. As such, a new face had immediately caught your eye, and there, your gaze stayed. All through the night. All through his impeccable covers of Chet Baker’s ‘I Fall In Love Too Easily’ and ‘Like Someone In Love’, during both of which you swore you had never felt yourself being regarded with more intensity. All through the years in which you had come to move in a shared rhythm, existing in a gentle swing, cheek to cheek. For the first time, you felt as though you were staring right into the sun, but instead of tears rolling down your cheeks and agony spreading over your body, your vision cleared and new hope settled.

This rhythm did not falter. Even when some notes were played with their respective delays or anticipations, this was all a wondrous interpretation of life as a duet that was you and your favourite, your only, beloved San, trumpet player, singer, an artist through and through. The man with a dream and the resolve to achieve it. You had promised to one another that one of these days, you will see yourselves as the makers of a new oasis. Your own corner in the glimmering canyons of steel to serve as a sunny safe haven for jazzists from all walks of life. You as the owner of the new Blue Note, him as the first man on the stage. This was the future towards which you both strode, and alongside it, a heavenly devotion bloomed.

As you rocked in a sweet embrace, it was impossible to imagine anything more right. Arms around his torso and hidden from the nighttime breeze by his jacket, you sank into San’s reassuring heartbeat and loving warmth. Caught in a trance, he pressed you impossibly close as though he had not seen you in an agonising ‘forever’, and ran his fingers through your hair while a hand rested on the back of your head. The brilliant, cascading tresses that still retained some of the aroma of the cordials and syrups you often used at your job, despite the top notes being yours, and consequently, his favourite shampoo. He admired the way in which it reflected the sunset captured in the apartment, only half a flight away, a golden luminescence that made him all the more convinced that this was where the glowing, comforting star had found safety to rest. After walking through the town that was enveloped in dark hues, passing by dingy shops and streets in dire need of tender love and care, he could not help but feel blessed that all that time ago, the sun had risen for him, and all he had the pleasure of experiencing was brighter, lighter, and any trials and tribulations were merely a simple test. He fondly recollected your first meeting, having purposefully made a detour on his journey back to walk past the location that marked the beginning of your history.

“We played at a club a couple of blocks from that place tonight.”

“Where we met?” you asked, nuzzling into the crook of San’s neck and relishing in his soft hum as he continued.

“Mhm. Actually, I walked past it while going home.”

“And?” you inquired, pulling away to glance at San’s cheeky lopsided grin.

“Made me walk faster.” you raised an eyebrow, only making your boyfriend chuckle, the honey-like tone never failing to induce a thrilling flurry in your chest.

“Damn, is it that run down?”

San imitated a pondering stance, looking off to the side before returning to study your very irises, with such attentiveness that you thought he was in a world of his own. And in a way, he was. He was convinced that, for as long as he lived, San’s best view would be exactly this. These eyes that had hypnotised him as they followed his figure from across the bar, these gorgeous orbs that held the moon, the stars, the songs sung and unsung. No matter where he went and no matter what new challenge life threw at him, all he needed was to imagine you and suddenly, everything would fall into place. The young man moved to press his forehead against yours, a strand of hair that grazed his eyebrow tickling your face and causing you to scrunch your nose. The adorable reaction proved to be too much for San’s poor enamoured heart as it skipped a beat, and in an attempt to subdue the overwhelming ache he rubbed his nose against yours.

“Nope, just made me want to see you even more.” he spoke low, focusing only on your shallow, lightly trembling breaths and the intoxicating feeling of his skin against yours.

“Can you see me now?” you joked, hinting at your closeness, hands moving to graze his sides, trailing down until you could tap his alluring waist with your fingertips, stepping forward until you were practically hip to hip and you could feel the friction of his navy jeans against your skirt.

“I don’t know, Y/N, I think I need to get a little closer…” in one cautious trailing of the jawline, he cupped your face, waited for a tiny nod from you to proceed - something he had always subconsciously done when it came to loving you, and what little space had been left between your bodies was no longer.

Tenderly, like early mist settling on the dazzling midnight sea, he worshipped you with every move. Lost in a sigh, in softest caresses, you indulged in the sweetness of his precious lips, fitting so perfectly with your own. While you had not been a believer in soulmates, the only way in which you could describe the idyllic nature of your coexistence was that it was meant to be. It was as if, even though you had your respective, independent melodies, they oh so seamlessly flowed into one, body and soul. San kissed you as though you were life itself, at such a slow, sultry tempo and yet it set your soul ablaze, caught up in a wild wind. Lost in exploring your lover, you only realised how he gingerly lifted the shirt at its base when his arms brushed against yours, causing you to snicker right against him. Immediately you could feel him retract his tongue and lean back to look at you. Your eyes fluttered open after having automatically given themselves up to a sensory bliss, only to be met with San’s signature pout that was dramatically contrasted by an enticing darkness in his half-lidded orbs.

“What…” he whined barely audibly, only making your smirk deepen.

“Now what about that ‘show’ you were talking about, hm?”

“My shirt, my business.” he attempted to dive back into a kiss, digging his fingers into your sides when you tilted your head back and chuckled.

“My lips, my business.”

“Awh darlin’ don’t tease.” he batted his eyelashes, gaze darting around your face to catch any signs of caving in to his charms. However, even if he tried his hardest, his searches would amount to nothing at all, for you would not be able to get mad at his cute face even if you wanted to. As such, your facade soon dropped and you were seeking him once more.

“Don’t be bossy.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good- Choi San put me dow-” you yelped as he stepped to the side, and with mischief flashing across his face, hooked you under the knees and supported your back, sweeping you off your feet for good. Careful not to let you hit the stairs, San’s strong arms held you tight against his chest, and he smiled down to give you a cheeky retort.

“Don’t be bossy~” playfully shaking your head, you let your hands find themselves loosely hanging from his neck, and gave into the addictive fiery pecks that he was leaving on your cheek, across your jaw, only to culminate in a deeper, ravishing kiss, punctuated by an unmistakable undercurrent of sensual longing. As your passion ascended into a crescendo, and the heat rising in your bodies was elevating into being unbearable, San breathlessly whispered the shared desire against your reddened lips:

“It’s time to quit stalling, methinks. Yeah?”

“Sounds fine by me.” you agreed, not fearful of sounding eager. Though apparently, that was not enough. While San dipped you forwards, eliciting a giggle and a compliant hooking of the trumpet case with your finger, he tried to correct you.

“Now, fine won’t do.” giving you another quick peck on your cheek, he began climbing towards the fifth floor, though you were certain that he was spending more time studying you than checking if he was stopping at the right level. Not bothering to mention the mug that had been abandoned, concluding that the beverage was always going to be nothing compared to the energy this wondrous love of yours gave you, you simply gave into the boisterous affection.

“Mighty fine.”

“A little better…” he mumbled back while stepping through the open window into your piece of urban heaven.

“Gonna have to work for any more than that, darling.”

“A challenge?”

“An invitation.”

The phrase almost made him falter as he attempted to gather at least some form of coherence before the submitting to your priceless seduction. Setting you back down onto the floor only to return to his hold of your waist, he shadowed your movements as you set the case down. At the first given opportunity, your boyfriend focused and nipped at the sensitive skin right above your exposed collarbone, one hand rising to hastily unbutton the shirt as you gasped at the contact and in a daze, rushed to tug at his jacket. Promptly, the article found itself on the floor, soon joined by the black shirt that you had borrowed and leaving your chest entirely exposed.

Entranced, San let himself be guided by you to the bedroom as he cupped one of your breasts and ran languid circles across the nipple, while catching you once more in a feverish kiss. Upon hearing the hint of a moan, muted by his own mouth, he inadvertently bucked his hips against you, the pressure on the growing arousal making him needy, and desperate for more touch. Stumbling down the corridor, you felt for the doorframe of the bedroom, stopping right underneath and running your hands under San’s black tee and up his abdomen. He obeyed your unspoken wish and gave you the pleasure of watching him undress, the divine, sculpted lines and edges of his body, muscles working overtime under his beautiful sunkissed skin, all in a magnificent dance. Before you could indulge in him once again, you felt a couple of pulls on the fabric of your skirt, and soon enough the elastic band had given in, and rolled down to let the material pile on the floor around you.

San guided your two hazy forms to the bed, hissing as you trailed kisses up his neck, to the side and nipped at his earlobe, your erratic, shallow breaths nearly sending him into a frenzy. Burning skin, each touch turned scalding making heat pool to your core; you saw stars as your boyfriend slipped his hand into your panties and ran two digits across your dripping sex to collect some of the nectar, before starting to rub your aroused clit, teasing it as you shot out to grab a hold of his upper arms for some illusion of stability. Whispering sweet nothings against your skin he laid you down onto the bed sheets; you could swear they had retained some of the warmth where the sun had hit them during its routinely finale, orange streaks stalking across the apartment. Nuzzling into San's neck you muffled your whines by turning your attention to making this moment bloom, lovebite after lovebite.

"Ah… Y/N…" he sighed, voice husky as he shifted in his half-lying posture in an attempt to get at least some friction. As he flicked your clit and glided two fingers into your entrance, curling them exactly how he knew it would drive you closer to your high, you dug your nails into his biceps to resist a tremble and uttered:

"My man, my business."

"Yours, all yours, darlin', just as you're mine."

"Mhm, ah, San, I'm- cl-" you moaned as he increased his rhythm, the wanton sounds of his digits pumping into your pussy only accelerating you to your orgasm.

"Close? Already, sweetheart?" You could sense a hint of pride in his tone, but could not form any snarky comment, thoughts turned to mush.

"Too good to me, love…"

"Now, now, and I wanted to make you feel even better…" he chided jokingly, lifting your lower half ever so slightly from the bed to slip the wet panties off fully, not once taking his eyes off yours. You tried to reach for his jeans, the erection so painfully obvious that all you could wish for was to give San at least some relief, but to no avail as he intercepted by taking a hold of your wrist, kissing your knuckles lovingly and simply requesting: “Lie back for me, darlin’, won’t you?”

Of course you would not disagree, not when you felt an emptiness from where his fingers had denied you a complete release, leaving your walls clenching around nothing, and desperation approaching an all-time high. Eagerly, you crawled and fell back on the bed, watching his figure follow you until he was hovering dangerously close, clouded over with lust. After resting his hands on your knees and then, at a deliberately slow pace, sliding them down your inner thighs for you to part your legs wider for him, he lowered himself to devour you. Placing a long kiss on your sensitive clit while holding your legs in place so you were in his temporary control, he ran his hot tongue along the length of your fold, stopping to give the bud extra attention with dedicated licking, and sucking until you were melting into the sheets and the only thing escaping your mouth were pathetic moans laced with his name and praises. As if you had been blinded by the sun, you ceased to see any definition in the world around you as your climax crashed down hard and fast, leaving you shaking and crying out for your boyfriend, who, after leaving a tentative trail of open-mouthed kisses on your pulsating core and on each of your thighs, rose to hook you under your back.

“You’re so beautiful, my love…” he cooed as he wrapped you up in a long hug, careful to let you ride out your high in the safety of his arms. He bit his lower lip as your leg accidentally grazed his clothed cock, only to squeeze his eyes shut when the action prompted him to taste you once again, sending his mind into an overdrive.

As you returned to a brighter lucidity, you gingerly fiddled with the button on San’s jeans, and proceeded to free him of their confines with the lowering of the zipper. Unable to restrain yourself from feeling the hardness of his length, you palmed it through the cotton briefs that were already showing traces of his pre-cum, and pulled down the waistband to let it spring free.

“Oh, San, please, why wait so long, you must be so on edge, I’m sorry baby…” you mumbled, lifting your hand to collect some spit, then wrapping it around his member. Instinctively his hips bucked towards you as you pumped him, barely registering how close San’s face was to yours.

“‘s alright, Y/N, but if you could… mh… kiss it better? May I?”

“Of course.”

You could taste the remnants of your orgasm on his lips and tongue, but only momentarily as he hungrily explored you. Low grunts and breathy moans fell from his mouth, only to be swallowed by your newly blooming desire for more. Deepening the kiss, you absorbed his moan as you sped up the movements of your other hand. Unable to resist the building frustration any longer, San brushed your arm and tilted his head back to show you his eyes - glazed over, full of raw want.

“I need you.”

“How?”

“I need your pussy, sweetheart.” you slowed down, teasing the tip of his cock as he gripped your hips, a coy smile dancing across your features.

“Didn’t you just have it?”

“Not enough, it seems.”

“I think we can do something about that… tell me how you want me.”

“Ride me.”

“Be my guide.”

Nodding, moved to the edge of the bed on his knees, and slid down until he was in a seated position. He motioned for you to come closer, helping you understand his wish. Raising yourself from how you had been positioned, you crept towards your boyfriend, cautiously throwing a leg over his lap until your core was millimetres away from his throbbing member. San’s hands found your ass and gave you a few nudges towards him, while you ran your fingers through his dishevelled locks, a shy smile gracing you as you thought back to how pristine he had managed to look when he had been in the stairwell. Now, he was perfect. When you tapped him to suggest your readiness, San took his cock to slot it into your entrance and with a couple of adjustments, he bottomed out inside you. Sighs combined into a single, intimate breath as his length pressed against your walls, and you rose into an unimaginable euphoria.

Foreheads pressed against one another, neither of you wanted to rush, instead succumbing to a darkness behind your eyelids and focusing exclusively on the other senses. How your inhales and exhales were equally as shallow, how the light tinge of sweat had mixed with the dark accords of his perfume - one that, after having made the step to live together, now almost permanently lingered on your skin, how the contact was every bit like being wrapped in the golden glow of a sunset. You peeked at San, catching him still in a trance, and admired how the light from the ceiling lamp out in the corridor highlighted his sharp and alluring features, all contrasted by the softest, plushest lips which you gave into the instinct to peck.

Your boyfriend gazed up at you, breaking into a heart-melting smile. Little did you know, he was counting his blessings and had to consciously remind himself that somehow you were not a sun goddess. Perhaps in disguise. You were the melody he would never get tired of hearing, the dawn and dusk that he would always greet and cherish. His muse and guiding light.

“My sun…” he pecked your cheek, flicking his nose against it while restraining himself from acting rashly. Not tonight. Tonight was all about you and him. Together.

“The light of my life…” kissing the other cheek, he groaned as you grinded your hips to have your chest almost flush against him.

“My Y/N,” “My San,”

You whispered in unison, looking at one another with an unequivocal tenderness and adoration. Two seamlessly blending into one, you did not need the days to guide you. Existing in a glittering bliss, before either of you was an angel of light. Truthfully, there need not be anything more. Only the sound of jazz to give you rhythm, and the radiance of your mutual enamourment.

As you began to ride his member, you took immeasurable pleasure in seeing San’s face contort into that of ecstasy. The fluidity of the motion rivalled that of waves that lapped the distant shores of a paradise. The oncoming bubbling of a climax that threatened to drown you in a sensual unravelling left you lost at sea, with only the rays of your favourite star enveloping you. Rocking your hips, you felt his cockhead hitting your ideal spot over and over, and whenever you would need a break, he would soothe you with a feathery touch.

The leisurely pace proved to be a build up to unfathomable ruin, as the clenching of your pussy around his hard length left San’s thoughts in a total disarray. He could not register the most basic things around him, jutting into you without a single decipherable word spilling from his lips. He gripped onto you harder, silently begging you to take him deeper, faster as his high became more imminent and he could barely hold on.

“Darling, you’re… I-I swear…”

“Ah… yes? What?”

“Can I? Please, love…”

“Yes, Sannie, please- ah!” he thrusted his hips with a newfound vigour, practically lifting you to give himself space to accelerate. The sudden change of pace sent curls of pleasure to the knot that had been building in your core, leaving you like putty in San’s hold.

“Fuck yes, Sa-an-ie… please…” lewd moans filled the bedroom as his member snapped into you with the exact beat that would send you into a frenzy. Falling apart over him, your pants rapidly turned into high-pitched whines as you could feel yourself approaching the edge to your undoing.

Just as he began to falter, you fell between his head and shoulder, shaking as another orgasm overtook you. The spasming of your sex sent him into uncontrollable pleasure and with a final few snaps of the hips, San kept you still on his cock as hot ropes of cum painted your inner walls. Embracing you like you were the most fragile being on the Earth, he glanced at you even in his half-consciousness to check if you were comfortable. Elated when you returned his regard with an elated grin, San beamed right back, giving you a quick peck before hugging you even tighter, attempting to slow his breathing while his length was still pulsating, surrounded by a divine warmth.

“So unreal… so, so marvellous, Y/N.” that seemed to reel you back from the wonderfully overwhelming sensation, and you brushed your cheek against his. Silence. Two bodies connecting, not needing the light as they lived in the afterglow. Listening to San’s heartbeat, your temple against his, you mumbled:

“I would never leave.”

“Then don’t. I would never let you go anyways.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to carry me to the bathroom.”

“I’ll even hold you in the shower.”

“Oh how romantic.” you tried to shift, only eliciting a groan from San as he cautiously moved you back, a sheepish grin on his features.

“You know what, darlin’, let’s stay like this for a bit, yeah?”

“Fine by me.”

“Fine?”

“Very, very, very fine.”

Once the two of you had in part returned from your post-coital utopia, and San kept his promise and carried you around the entire apartment as though showing you off to every piece of furniture and every wall, you were clean, fuzzy from the perfectly warm shower, and wrapped up in fresh bed sheets which you had playfully commanded for San to lay down.

After having given up on immediately settling down to sleep, you and San had dissolved into a giggly mess. You had convinced him to bring his trumpet into the room and let you have another go at playing it - even though these attempts had already likely accumulated into hundreds - without much progress. At the moment, the one piece which you could confidently play was ‘a whole lot of nothing and painfully blown out air’. As you tried for the umpteenth time to produce as much as one hint of a note, you were distracted by a sudden ‘oohing’ from your boyfriend, who was watching you unwaveringly.

“What?” you lowered the trumpet and raised an eyebrow.

“That was an indirect kiss, darlin’.”

“Come on, San, what in the world-” you hit his chest playfully and attempted to return the instrument, “I’m out here huffing and puffing and that’s what you’re thinking about?”

“Mhm, and so much more…”

“Choi San.” you addressed him sternly, though nothing in your expression even remotely suggested that you meant it.

“Fine, fine, want me to show you again and proper?”

“You know what, I think I practised enough for today.” you handed him the instrument, restraining your laughter while he returned it to its case, clipping it shut and setting it aside on the bedside table closest to him.

“Well done, Y/N.” he praised you, though a hint of sarcasm did not go unnoticed.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh at me as much as you want, but you still can’t make a bloody mary.” you pointed out, making San jut out his lower lip and nod in agreement.

“Fair.”

He opened his arms wide, leaning back onto the large pillows to invite you to rest against his bare chest, an offer which you simply would never refuse. Snuggling up to him, you were in seventh heaven. One arm over his torso and the other propping you up so you would be level, you doubted that there could be anything that felt more safe, more comforting and more adoring than this. Feeling him rubbing unrushed, lulling circles on your back, accompanied by the rustling of cotton, you wanted to dissolve in this moment, your molecules reflecting onto every surface until this was all you knew.

“Y’know, I’m s’posed to have a gig next week that’s gonna cover at least three month’s rent.” he broke through the quietude with the exciting news, making you immediately look up at him, gleaming.

“What? No way, who?”

“Some bigshot from uptown wants music for his party. And who am I to refuse?”

“Damn, San, that’s amazing-”

“And, and, and, they were looking for a mixologist to make the magic happen, so if you are happy to accept, the man’s asked me to call him back tomorrow noon,” the continuation left you stunned, and you wrapped a leg around your boyfriend, embracing him until you could barely breathe.

“WHAT? San, no you didn’t I… thank you? How? I mean…” you stumbled over your words, trying your hardest to not squeal at the opportunity.

“No words needed, lovely. See? We’re gonna save up for that wedding dress in no time.”

He stated casually, but the words sent butterflies into your stomach. You had discussed official commitment early on, deciding that this was to be in your plans for certain, but considering your careers, your desires and your dreams, you wanted to find that golden sliver of stability before taking that next step. Though, as months ticked by, you could tell San’s motivation grew stronger and stronger to be able to call you his wife.

“Oh Sannie, but I told you that I don’t need anything fancy, I just need you.” you responded, trying to provide reassurance that either way, happiness was guaranteed; but it appeared that in the ghost of an intimate night, your boyfriend found entertainment in misconstruing your words into a lustful implication.

“Say that again and you are not getting out of bed for that morning shift.” you hit his chest so faintly that there was barely any impact before hiding your face against him, not reappearing until San brushed some hair away from your face and cupped your chin, “Darlin’, I just wanna have, and live a life with you. Many lives. More than.” melting into his touch, you wiggled upwards, closer to him.

“We’ll make it.” San nodded at your resolution, glancing out into the corridor - although the lamp that had provided the sun-like hues had long been turned off, the heat of your passion prolonged its echoes.

“It’s us we’re talkin’ ‘bout, it’s written out for us. And if not, we’ll take the pen and write it. You promised I’ll be the first to play at your bar… opening night.”

You took in the adoration in his eyes, while San delighted in the same feeling that was held in your own.

“Of course. And you said that the song you’ll sing will be the one you wrote for me.” barely audible, you answered, getting closer and closer to the sun that you knew would never burn you and instead only help you amplify your shine.

“The whole set, love. My all.”

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oops-its-a-fanwork · 1 year

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Dancing with the pirate boys~🕺💃

I simply think we should dance! Dancing is fun!💕

This pirate au is by @mega-punani and these are just my non-canon headcanons <3 check out their page for more! (she's currently not updating this au but her page is a lovely visit!)

Sans Sooo you know those dances where one person does very little dancing and the other person is pretty much dancing around them, pulling them in? He'd offer one of those dances as a 'haha gotcha now I don't have to do much' kinda thing, but little did he know how you'd turn the tables on him! Oh the shameless flirting as you danced your little heart out! Your fleeting touches as you flutter around him, the looks you give him, the proximity as you pull him close, face to face, only to then pull away for another wide twirl~ He's at the centre of the stage and he cant leave, since he promised you he would do this for you. But oh this man is flustered. He is bright blue. And he simply cannot move his eyes off you. Even years later you can still easily tease him by seductively asking him to dance. He'll get bright blue and flustered again immediately even after your little wink ;) Ah man, you got him good. (The crew definitely teases him about it alllll the time. He just hehehs some more.)

Papyrus Yes yes yes he would love to dance!! Papyrus loves folk dances, ballroom dances, silly dances, tangos, just- anything!! Please ask him to dance! And don't be surprised if he asks you to dance either! He loves the joy of dancing in a group and seeing how invested and/or exited everyone is. Depending on how he's feeling, he can be either 1: a little stiff due to being nervous (maybe dancing in the crow's nest with waves like these wasn't your best idea...), 2: lose and carefree and a bit over enthusiastic (an absolutely joyous occasion or some alcohol may do this) or 3: comfortable, confident and super romantic (and pretty dang good!). He truly sweeps you off your feet in an awesome way! Definitely the type to be chatty during a dance too so he'll absolutely flirt with you while holding you in a dip.

Blue Folk dances hell yeah!!!! He knows a ton of them, is really good at them and is very enthusiastic! You'll have a lovely time with him and the gang, and he somehow knows how to make you feel special dancing with him even though you are also dancing with a ton of others. Maybe it's the way he looks at you? The time after the dance is well spent too: you are warm and tired and he is telling you stories about the dances' origins and the places he's learned them. If you dance for long enough you might actually get a very rare chance to nap with him: two tired and content smiling nerds snoozing on the couch. Slick and strict dances aren't his thing though. He loves the way they look and how romantic they are, but doesn't have the patience to learn and perform them well. He'll sweep you off your feet in a different way!

Stretch Listen honey. He doesn't dance. He plays the music. Important distinction. You can, however, convince him to try when you two are separated from the rest of the crew. You’ll be in a bustling town and evening is falling, and a band softly plays music for a buzzing cafe with terrace. And you may convince him to let you put your hand on his shoulder, to put his hand on your side, to put his left foot here, and his right foot there, then take a step there… and he'll be sweating the entire time, holding his breath until you tell him to breathe, darling. And he'll be stunned at how close you are. And he won't notice that you're dancing so sweetly until the song is over and you ask if you could do that again sometime. And he responds with a soft and flustered "yes" and watches you meld into the crowd to collect some drinks for you both. And he reasons that Yes, he truly might do that again…

Red "Heheh you can give me a lapda-" "No. >:/"

I think it would be difficult to actually get him to properly dance with you. He might entertain you for half a song but then he'll start trying to convince you to leave the dance floor with him. Its just not really his thing, and on top of that he's actually kind of embarrassed about looking like a fool unless inebriated. If you are out dancing he'll definitely brag to everyone and their parents that you're his pretty partner though! In fact, he might start taking you out to dance when the ship is docked just to show you off (and to make sure you have a good time of course). He'll request whatever music you need from the sidelines and watch you go at it. Man he has it good~

Edge You can convince him to take classes with you and hell take them super seriously, but he may have been too self-conscious/busy to start on his own. Learning to dance wasn't really a priority back on his home island and he might care if the others make fun of him for it, especially given his perfectionism. If he can use your request as an excuse to do it though... that'll probably do the trick! He actually really enjoys it: it's structured and beautiful and he can choose to either be in the spotlight with you or in a group where he doesn't stand out. He gets good really really fast too, so unless you are already quite good at it he'll be teaching you soon enough. It's truly a lot of fun and you actually see him smile a lot doing this. Truly a massive win.

Black An absolute show off. He knows how to ballroom dance but would never tell anyone even if asked. Except for you it seems! He puts you two in matching outfits, asks for a dance, and then shows off the fact that he has mad skills for dances like this. If he really wants to show off he might even create a spotlight out of sun or moonlight on the both of you. And to top it all off, he makes you feel absolutely special throughout the whole thing! …You can absolutely use this closeness to fluster him though. He can't escape your flirts while holding you this close >:3c He won't really join in on sillier dances or folk-dances unless challenged to, but his footwork and discipline are amazing so he likely will excel at any structured dance if he's been able to observe it well enough (to everyone's excitement and surprise). Any freestyling he will fail at though.

Cash On the surface he's making it seem far too easy to get him to dance with you. He makes it seem like he's out to get close and steal your stuff while he's there (as if he needs the proximity), but it's mostly a facade to hide how nervous this makes him. Like, genuinely dancing together? That's… vulnerable. Like Stretch, the crew can't be near at all, and honestly even strangers like a band are too much. You can gently persuade him to dance to the tune of a music box or radio you brought. You know you've made a genuine connection when he DOESN'T show you he stole something afterwards, even though he did it right at the start to have an easy way out of the situation. No one wants to dance with a thief, right? He puts it back in your pocket the next morning, and seems much more mellow the following days.

Bear He has a strict 'no partying in the kitchen' rule for obvious reasons, but if you are often hiding in the kitchen for some quiet time and tend to play soft music he might sway subconsciously to it, and if he has some downtime during the cooking process you might be able to persuade him to gently sway with you for a little bit, creating a lovely big blush on his face. Do a little pirouette in his arms and his day is all better. Other than this he doesn't really dance when the occasion arises, but you will find that he is completely focused on you as you dance either a silly little swing or some beautiful dance. He has no jealousy at all seeing you dance with others, mainly because his focus is entirely on you <3

Cinnamon Although complicated choreographed dances are difficult due to his eyesight and general clumsiness, simple slow couples dance can be done just fine! Simply swaying with him will have him comfortable and a little flustered. He would love to enthusiastically dance too but he's worried about hurting you and possibly falling on his face and embarrassing himself. When you do end up slow dancing he often needs to hold himself back from squealing at how cute you are this close, and he needs to resist the urge to suddenly spin you in circles and hug you so close because aaaa cuteness aggression! If you give him express permission to show it you'll end up having a very good time giggling with him, it's super sweet :) Also I am convinced this man can tap dance (or at least is trying to learn to) so if you can convince him to show you his skills you can have a lot of fun together!

#Stretch writes about that first dance in his diary and squeals the entire time #papyrus x reader #sans x reader #undertale au #pirate au #Honestly if u do end up giving anyone a lapdance please pick Bear it's so fucking worth it---#papyrus au #sans au #homemade fanworks #suggestive #< mainly for the lapdance mentions tbh #I hope the change in writing style between the crew isn't too strange to read?#I just did whatever felt right but they are very different now oops :p #edit: I called Bear Skull bc I've been working on my pokemon horror boy Skull while writing this oops it's fixed now

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reactionimagesdaily · 9 months

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REACTION IMAGES BLOG PATCH NOTES (aka the 10k follower celebrations got out of hand)

Hey everyone!

So it's been a hot minute since I announced that we passed 10,000 followers on here! I'm sure... well, I'm actually sure that most people won't be TOO fussed either way, but I did say I was gonna do some stuff, and I wanna stick to my word if nothing else xD

So! Let the celebrations begin! Firstly, I'm announcing a new QnA (I love those things) that'll last,,,, I'll say 2 weeks and go from there. Feel free to ask me about whatever you want!! If you want to cater to me specifically, my current big interests are Baldur's Gate 3, Cyberpunk 2077, Mass Effect, and uuuuh Halo. (Also Bionicle remains a constant.) (Lots of scifi videogame stuff at the moment...)

[IK there's still some stuff in the inbox I need to answer/respond to you - I promise I'll get to those as well <3 thank you so much for your patience, if you've been waiting]

Secondly, here's a new song cover! IDK how many of you have played the game Divinity: Original Sin 2, but here's me singing Lohse's song; Sing For Me.

Thirdly: here's a new gimmick blog! I Was Not Joking. (Though, for my sanity, it's gonna be weekly instead of daily.) I'll be posting the images I have saved in my folder called 'feral screenshots' - it'll basically be a collection of cursed images/images with strange auras. I wanna say y'all know the ones, but if you don't, then here's an example of what we're dealing with:

[Image ID: a person floating in a rubber ring in a swimming pool. On their head is what looks like a life-size Lego head.]

Introduciiiiing the Weekly Weird Images blog!

And Fourthly! It is my great pleasure to announce that we're adding alt text to all the images on this blog! Sorry it took so long to get round to T_T

And yes - I do mean we! To write out all the alt text for these images, I've on-boarded minion-in-chief/court jester aplomb @tizzytinkertilly! I (the reaction images guy) will still be handling every other part of the blog - she'll just be doing that bit. For the sake of my sanity xD

This is kind of a big change - both the addition of alt text, and the fact that this blog is no longer a single-person operation - so for the foreseeable future, the queue's been tweaked so that we only post 2 images a day instead of 4. (Fun fact! 2 images a day was the original MO of this blog, and then covid happened and I was like "I'll make it 4 a day because it'll be a nice thing to do for everyone while they're miserable in this pandemic :)" and then I never stopped (although you could argue that the pandemic never stopped either).) Maybe if/when we fall into a good routine and feel like we can do more, we can bump the rate of images back up, but right now this is a teething phase and I'm keen to slow things down for a little bit. :P (Tumblr has made some WEIRD mechanical choices for group blogs, I'll be honest.)

And, uh, yeah, that's all! Let the QnA begin- Hope y'all enjoy the song cover- Hope y'all enjoy the additional blog- A big welcome to Tinks and to alt text! Happy 10k followers, everybody!

#bwaaaaaah I can finally post this #It's taken way longer than it probably should have to get all of this together #Personally I blame executive dysfunction #but HOORAAY we're here now #not a pic #10k extravabonganza

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alexsoenomel · 2 years

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Fuck Away The Pain (Sub!Dean Winchester x Reader smut)

Summary: Sad reader is a horny reader basically

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: sexy times with Dean

Word count: 1578

Note: First person fic because I was sad and listening to THIS song. It inspired me. Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)

I tossed and turned as my mind went into an overdrive. I didn't know what was going on I just knew I needed him. I was craving his touch, his scent, his ability to calm me down when I would lose myself in my own mind. It was like sometimes I would enter a maze and get lost in it.

At this point I was crying and also trying to understand why. I was happy with him, hell, I haven't felt like this in a very long time. This life I was living was dark and twisted but he was the light at the end of the tunnel, not only him, but also his brother. Sam was a brother I never had and Dean was the love I have never experienced. As long as I had them I had it all.

Then why was I crying?

As I was whipping my tears in complete darkness, I heard him open the door of the room we shared. We collectively had a day off, that day, no hunts, no cases, just drinks and laughter. I got so drunk I passed out on our bed at God knows what hour. I woke up after few hours, took a shower and drank something for pulsating head of mine with lots of water but I couldn't go back to sleep. The headache was gone, but my soul was sad.

Now I had to pretend. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down, but to no avail. I heard the sound of his belt as he took his boots off and seconds later his jeans. He laid next to me and hugged me as I was lying and fighting the urge not to burst into tears. The thing that finally gave me off was the sound of my nose sniffling.

"(Y/N)?" He whispered. "Are you okay?"

"No." I whispered. "Not really."

I turned around whipped my tears and kissed him as hard as I possibly could. He kissed back immediately, cupping my face with his hand as I climbed on top of him, my lips not leaving his. I could still taste the alcohol on his lips but I didn't mind. I just needed him.

I broke the kiss as his silhouette was looking at me, inches away I could feel his alcohol filled breath on my face. I think he was quite confused by my actions but didn't protest. He moved my hair behind my left ear as it was falling on his face.

"Wha-"

"Shhh kiss me!" Before he could speak I placed a finger on his full lips only to move it seconds later to kiss him again. The kisses turned into a full blown make out session, making me hungry for more. My hands were exploring his body until one settled between his legs, feeling the hardness which turned me on even more. I was eager, needy and pathetic. I knew that but didn’t care. I just wanted to feel him and forget, forget my existence and to be sucked in pleasure by the man I loved the most.

A moan left my lips as I felt his fingers underneath my panties, feeling my already wet and pulsating core.

“God, I love that sound!” He whispered as he moved my hair and buried his lips in the crook of my neck, knowing damn well it will drive me mad.

And it did. My patience was running out as I took his face by the chin forcing him to look at me. His eyes were like two green emeralds shinning in the darkness studying each line of my face.

"Will you make me cum, Dean?" I whined. "I." I positioned myself on his dick as I slowly started to rub myself against his hard dick. "Really." Each word that left my sinful lips was a thrust.

"Want."

"To." .

"Cum."

I could see Dean slowly losing himself in me. Everything I did he liked, but telling him what to do he liked the most and praising him made him lose his damn mind.

"Can you do that, please Dean?" I asked him before kissing and biting his lower lip. I loved biting every inch of him, leaving my marks but making his lips sore and sensitive was my favorite.

"I-I can do that." His whispers became heavier as I kneeled between his legs and took off his boxers and I positioned myself on him. I didn't sit just yet, his tip was touching my entrance making him grow impatient and needy for me just the way I liked it. I leaned in and kissed his neck whispering how good he is.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked him inches away from his face.

"I want you to sit on me." He barely managed to say.

"Beg me! I wanna hear it!" I demanded. The only thing better than Dean's moans was him begging me to satisfy him. I enjoyed seeing him in that state, all hot and bothered being desperate, especially since he had such a strong presence as a person. It turned me on knowing no one can make Dean plead and boss him around, besides me.

"Please, (Y/N)! I'm going insane, do something!"

"Oh really?" I teased with a smirk on my face, while rubbing myself on his tip a little bit more. God, he was hot.

"Ye-yes please!"

"God, I love when you beg!"

I slowly sat down while my hand was holding his dick, feeling just how big he was. He was stretching me as I moaned feeling a wave of pleasure going through my whole body. I could never get tired of that. I loved feeling him inside of me.

"Fuck!" He moaned.

"Do I feel good?" I bit my lower lip as I slowly started to move up and down establishing a pace. "Do you like when I'm riding you?"

"Yes, I do!" He said holding on to my hipbones as my pace became faster. I desperately wanted to cum. I needed it.

"You feel so good Dean. Fuck!"

I was feeling every inch of him inside me, it was euphoric, intense and I could feel my orgasm approaching. I was slowly starting to lose it completely. I leaned in and kissed him, biting his lip again as he took my head with his hands forcing me to look at him. We stayed like that inches away breathing each other and moaning each other's names over and over again.

"I love you!"

"I love you too!" He said it back.

I couldn't help but smile. The feelings this man made me feel...No human has ever made me feel. I trusted him with my life and loved him more than anything else in this world. He was my person.

I was getting closer to coming undone and completely falling apart. I saw the same in him.

Without saying anything I took his thumb and put it in my mouth as I started rubbing myself on his bare skin while riding him. He loved when I sucked his fingers and I wanted him to be satisfied too.

"You are crazy (Y/N)!" He said as he took out his thumb and kissed me hungerly practically wanting to devour me whole. We both moaned into the kiss before it hit me.

"I'm close." I managed to say. My pace was fast and steady. He was hitting just the right spots.

"Me too."

I could feel it. My whole body shaking, his name never leaving my lips as I balanced myself on his legs with my hands, back slightly arched. I came all over him.

I didn't want to end there. I wanted him to cum too. So, I didn't stop moving, not until he came too. He dig his fingers in my flesh even harder as his orgasm came and was as intense as mine. Since I was on the pill I didn't mind him filling me up every now and then, I actually quite enjoyed it.

When we both came down from our highs a little bit, I collapsed right next to him.

"What was that?" Dean asked me trying to catch his breath.

"That was I was sad and I wanted to fuck the sadness away."

He turned on his side and placed an innocent kiss on my shoulder. "Why?"

"Why what?" I asked looking at him. He was so beautiful...

"Why were you sad?"

"I have my weak moments." I wasn't much of a talker sometimes, especially when it came to my feelings. Sometimes I felt like I blocked that vulnerable part of me. I trusted him, but I didn't trust myself talking about my demons. Turning them into words would make them real and I didn't want that. Usually, I would just sleep it off.

It was his time to take control and take care of me. "Spill it!"

"I just get overwhelmed sometimes. I feel like drowning in my own thoughts for no God damn reason. And I don’t even know why I was sad. It just hit me like a brick."

"I get it. You do know you can talk to me about that, right? You don't have to keep quiet, whatever it is."

"I know. Well I'm not sad anymore so that's a plus."

"I love you (Y/N)!" He smiled.

"Forever and always Dean!"

I laid on his chest as he played with my hair in silence.

Like I said, he was all I needed. His presence, his scent, his soul...

My soul was lost without his.

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arachnxphobe · 1 year

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random miguel hcs

will not admit it but he has cried to multiple animated kids movies

definitely the classics like toy story 3, the iron giant, and inside out

but he also BAWLED at the end of finding nemo because he was thinking about gabriella

he thinks that toothless from how to train your dragon is cute

no i will not elaborate on that

secretly celebrates st patrick’s day

likes to wear something green under his suit or have one piece of decor hidden in the depths of his office

has really low spice tolerance BUT really likes it and also he has a reputation to keep up as the big and tough guy so he WILL try and hide how much water he is chugging

he likes the dad ice cream flavours like pistachio and rum raisin

but hates dad hobbies like golfing or collecting stuff like antique coins or dioramas

he just doesn’t have the patience for it

can cook and bake!!!! actually scratch that he can do all of the chores and is basically a househusband but is simply unwilling to do it

peter b may or may not have gotten him a kiss the cook apron that may or may not be the only apron he owns…

he could 100% have gourmet meals every day but he doesn’t have anyone to impress but himself so most days he just lives off of the sealed, pre-cooked chicken breasts from the convenience store and reheated rice that he makes in a big batch once a week

because yes chicken can be store bought but microwaved rice tastes too much like chemicals, especially for his heightened taste buds

is a shower guy

he thinks that baths are too inefficient and most tubs can’t fit him

but if you somehow manage to find one that’s big enough…oh boy he’ll act like you are waterboarding him but honestly he’s having the time of his life

competitive as hell, even when he acts like he could not care less

like he does not understand the concept of letting somebody else win, why is he handicapping himself and letting them think they’re better than they actually are?

he doesn’t mean it in a way to establish dominance or superiority

he just thinks that it’s weird to let someone win because wouldn’t lying to them be worse? now they can’t even improve

designed his own suit and probably gets a little bit self conscious when someone comments on it because he really isn’t an aesthetics guy but he worked really hard and is proud of his suit 🥺

was perhaps a little bit salty about the dark garfield comment but you didn’t hear that from me

please never trust him with naming or decorating though because if left on his own, it’s either going to be the most disgusting combination of items ever known to man or quite literally the bare minimum

don’t even think about a bed frame, there’s a chance that he doesn’t even have a mattress

he’s good with personal hygiene though

a slight germaphobe in the sense that he wants everything to be sterile (a habit he picked up from always being in the lab) but is more than okay with getting his hands dirty, just as long as he can thoroughly sanitize them afterwards

a terrible movie watcher

he either does not understand the movie whatsoever and keeps on asking questions that they just answered a minute ago

or he’s ripping them apart for their weird pseudoscience

honestly his ranting ends up being more entertaining than the movie at times

be prepared for a full lecture if you don’t stop him at some point though

i’ve heard a lot of people throw out spanish songs that they think he would listen to but might i suggest some non-spanish songs

he gives me doja cat vibes, don’t ask me, i just feel it

personally, i don’t think he would actively listen to kpop or be into the fan culture but he probably enjoys some songs without even realizing they’re kpop

i’m thinking newjeans and maybe epik high??

ABBA

mitski and hozier (where are my depressed wlw at) because you know that when he’s in his brooding self hating mood that he needs suitable bgm

HATES cruises

something about being on water does not vibe with his spider-catness

neither does the overall cruise ship experience

hot tubs and buffets just don’t really do it for him

there’s not much space for privacy except for your own room but even then the walls are fairly thin

so it’d be nearly impossible for him to get any sort of peace

me and the rest of the internet all seem to have agreed that he has insomnia and i feel like a cruise ship would not help whatsoever

would complain about how the mexican food is just what americans think mexican food is like

is too much of a workaholic to take an extended break, and it’s too difficult to jump back into work should there be an emergency

#i am mentally unwell but i am free #do i know where these came from?#no they simply spawned from the void #miguel o'hara #across the spiderverse #atsv #miguel o’hara hcs #miguel o’hara headcanons #atsv hcs #atsv miguel

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use-your-telescope · 7 months

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When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 16: We Don't Know What We're Doing

Summary: Amidst the day to day, Theo and Loki continue to learn new things about each other, including some interesting details about how they view relationships.

Author’s Note: First, I am so sorry this is so late!! I had planned to post on the 28th, but I ended up having some (good) things come up that took up my weekend and meant I didn’t have time to get this to a point I felt was ready to post. I foolishly thought I could have it ready by Tuesday, then by Friday, then Sunday, then accepted my fate and admitted I just wouldn’t have time until this weekend to get this chapter wrapped up and posted (shoutout to a work trip last weekend for making this take an extra week!) I shared a note about the delay on tumblr, but figured I’d share it here so I’m covering my bases.

That being said, spring is a crazy time for me work-wise, plus I’m finishing my second master’s degree this semester (after a two year hiatus!), so this will probably not be the only time things get a bit delayed. I’m pretty sure I will have the next chapter ready for next Sunday (the 24th), but the week after that has some work stuff going on, which means the following chapter would be posted on March 9th. Anyways, thanks for your patience, and hope you enjoy <3 reblogs are always appreciated, and lmk if you want to be added to tag list!

Word Count: 6,789

Song: Amateur Lovers - Switchfoot (Bonus Song: Passing Through A Screen Door - The Wonder Years)

Everyone I know Needs love like drugs Like a common cold We could never shrug My baby and me We're missing the same stuff We've all got a disease Deficiency of love Every day we still try Every night we still cry Driving home on the 805

Months after Theo first promised Loki that she would hang out with the other Avengers, she could not deny the truth: Loki, the little shit, was right.

Unintentionally agreeing to “family night” opened the floodgates of invitations to hang out, and other than the period of time where everyone’s moods plummeted from the string of unpleasant anniversaries, Theo found herself becoming more and more fond of the colorful collection of superheroes that she lived with, and it seemed like they accepted her with open arms.

Even worse, Loki was right and he knew it.

Every time Theo caught him watching as Wanda braided her hair or Yelena talked her into trying (and absolutely sucking at) Call of Duty, Loki cocked an eyebrow and shot Theo the most smug, self-satisfied smirk. When he wandered into the lab and stumbled upon Theo and Helen working on new medical technology with Bruce and Shuri, a downright devious glint flashed in his jade eyes, and his jaw flexed as if he bit back some snarky comment about Theo’s voluntary presence. When they went out as a team and it came to light that Natasha had done Theo’s makeup, Loki bit his lower lip to stifle a snicker.

On that night, Theo had just finished up working in the emergency department; after showering and changing into an old set of Duke sweatpants and a shirt she stole from Chris the last time she stayed at his apartment, Theo made her way out to the living room with a book in hand.

The sight that greeted her was one she often found at the end of the day: Sam, Bucky, Yelena, Natasha, and Steve sprawled out on some of the more comfortable seating options, clad in sweatpants and worn t-shirts after what was likely a long day of training and briefings. A video game that Theo vaguely recognized, but not enough to identify, broadcast itself from the television screen, displaying a mix of desolate space-esque scenarios and scifi combat.

Sam sat on the edge of the couch cushions, leaned in towards the television screen with a video game controller clutched in both hands, focusing so intently on the screen that he stuck a bit of his tongue out as he mashed buttons on the controller.

On another couch sat Yelena and Natasha, with Bucky sandwiched between the two widows. Yelena and Bucky alternated between shoving fistfuls of popcorn into their mouths and shouting at the television as an explosion flashed on the screen, while Natasha sat with her legs curled up under her, sipping a glass of merlot as she occasionally teased Sam about dying in the game.

“Theo, hey,” Steve waved from the other side of the living room, where he stretched across on the couch with sock-covered feet propped up on the coffee table.

“Hey,” Theo waved as she took her usual seat, curling into the corner of the couch. “So, which game is this?”

“Halo–” Yelena replied between mouthfuls of popcorn, “— Genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens.”

“I thought the point of playing video games was to take a break from reality…” Theo glanced around the room. “How is ‘genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens’ any different from what we already do?”

“It’s fictional.” Yelena shrugged, despite the knowing grin she wore.

“Hey, bird brain, don’t you have something to ask Theo?” Bucky threw a piece of popcorn at Sam, bouncing a fluffy kernel off Sam’s head; Sam scowled, but kept his eyes on the screen.

“Ask me what?” Theo glanced between the others expectantly, her pulse quickening ever so slightly.

They must have been talking about her… But why?

“Fuck! I was so close!” Sam groaned as a message flashed across the television screen stating his team lost. He tossed the controller at Bucky, who effortlessly caught it in his non-vibranium hand. “You try.”

“Is anyone going to tell me what I’m supposed to be asked about?” Theo repeated, her chest tightening as she tried to guess what they wanted. She couldn’t think of anything that she did recently to raise any suspicions, and the way Bucky brought it up made it sound like it wasn’t anything serious…

“Dammit Buck, I was gonna ask her when it was just the two of us.” Sam glared at Bucky, who was too busy setting up the next round of whatever shooting game they had decided on for that night.

“Okay, now I’m just getting nervous.” Theo tried to laugh it off, but it didn’t do much to cover up her ballooning nerves.

“Nah, don’t be - I just need advice… ” Sam rubbed his face with both hands, conveniently hiding any clues Theo might have gathered from his expression. “... Dating advice.”

“Dating advice?” Theo’s brows shot skyward as she echoed Sam’s message back to him.

“Yeah. There’s a hot doc that you work with, and I want to see if she’s interested.”

Well, that certainly changed things.

Theo struggled to keep her cool, cheeks and jaw tensing to prevent a grin from curling up her lips...

.. What were the odds that Sam shared Julie’s crush?

“Thing is, the only way I ever run into her is when I need to get patched up —“ Sam continued, “— not exactly great for getting to know each other...”

“… So you want my help getting close to her?” Theo ventured, her mind running wild with possibilities. “Who is it?!”

“Oh hell no, I’m not telling!” Sam laughed sheepishly, “Not until I know if she’s interested too!”

“How can I help if I don’t know who it is?” Theo pointed out, “it’s not like all doctors are the same! What works for Julie won’t work for Helen!”

If Theo didn’t know any better, she swore she saw Sam’s cheeks flush at Julie’s name; then again, that might have been in her head.

“Watch him when he’s in the ER,” Bucky commented, not missing a beat even as all of his attention seemed focused on the video game. “You'll know in two seconds.”

“As much as I don’t want you to need to go to the ER, now I’m curious - maybe we can beat you up a bit during training so you need to pay a visit.” Theo teased, smirking at Sam. Yelena laughed, offering to beat him up, while Natasha and Steve exchanged knowing glances.

“Not you too–” Sam groaned, before pointing at Yelena and Bucky. “ – that’s the same thing these assholes recommended!”

“Because it’s good advice!” Yelena huffed, crossing her arms. “You want to see her? That’s how!”

“Oh come on, you really think that’s my advice?! I’m not that terrible,” Theo scoffed, feigning offense. “My first piece of advice would be to talk to her and see what she likes outside of work, then figure out a way to ask her to hang out and do something she enjoys. But unless you tell me who it is, you’re going to need to work up the courage to stop by the ED specifically to talk to her, or you’ll have to wait until you actually have a reason to get patched up.”

Sam let out a sharp breath, shoulders slumping as he narrowed his eyes at Theo. “And if I tell you?”

“Maybe I can help — invite them over when we do a movie night or something,” Theo offered, this time not bothering to hide her smile. After all, Theo was not above a quid pro quo - she gets to satisfy her curiosity, and Sam gets a chance to talk to whoever he’s crushing on. Win-win, really.

Sam narrowed his eyes at Theo. “… Let me think about it.”

Theo stood up and stretched her arms overhead; since it seemed like Sam had put an end to the conversation, it was as good of a moment as any to step away for a moment and get herself some water. As she sauntered towards the kitchen, she called over her shoulder: “Your choice, but it doesn’t have to be hard!”

Conversation continued among the others as Theo entered the kitchen, voices laughing and chattering over each other so Theo couldn’t make out what anyone said.

Theo moved on autopilot as she found a glass and added some ice from the freezer, mind spinning as she tried to recall any details from past interactions that would help her figure out which of her colleagues caught Sam’s eye. Even as she moved to the sink to fill her glass, her thoughts remained so occupied with the new mystery that she barely paid her surroundings any mind.

“You feared the Avengers would never trust you, yet Wilson trusts you enough to seek your guidance in matters of the heart; I dare say that your concerns were unfounded.” A low voice spoke from just behind Theo — a smooth baritone that she recognized anywhere, even if it startled her so badly that she dropped her glass and nearly jumped through the ceiling from shock.

A flash of emerald shot forth. Loki caught the glass just before it clattered into the sink, all the while failing to stifle his laughter at the string of curses that fell from Theo’s mouth.

“Can’t you just say hi like a normal person?!” Theo pressed one hand to her heart in a feeble attempt to settle her racing heart, all the while glaring at Loki.

“When such amusement is a possibility? Absolutely not.” Loki grinned, offering Theo her water glass. She snatched it from him, taking a quick drink of water before turning back to the sink and topping it off.

For a moment, Theo considered finding some way to fuck with Loki so he couldn’t gloat so much, but after Loki had a difficult month (between the shitty anniversaries and Thor nearly dying, calling it difficult was probably an understatement), Loki needed the chance to loosen up and laugh. Besides, he was the first friend Theo made when she moved into the tower, and even if she wouldn’t admit it outright, Theo was grateful that Loki had been right.

So, she simply rolled her eyes and smiled.

“You’ve not responded to my original comment,” Loki pointed out, smug satisfaction dancing in his tone.

“Sam’s interested in one of my colleagues,” Theo attempted to brush off Loki’s observation, her cheeks burning as they undoubtedly flushed.

“I heard…” Loki leaned back against the kitchen counter, a lazy smile dangling on his lips as he looked at Theo. “Still, he trusts you.”

“Not enough to tell me who it is,” Theo grumbled, setting her water glass on the marble counter as she pretended to pout so she could cross her arms. “How long were you lurking there?”

“Long enough,” Loki simply shrugged, eyes twinkling from the reflection of the kitchen lights as he looked at Theo. “The exchange reminded me - are you still courting your gentleman caller?”

Theo couldn’t stifle the snort of laughter that escaped from Loki’s unironic use of the term “gentleman caller;” she slapped both hands over her mouth, entire face now aflame with embarrassment from the ridiculous sound.

Loki tilted his head at Theo’s reaction, brows furrowed in a silent question.

“Am I supposed to ignore the fact that you just used the term gentleman caller?” Theo finally managed, still chuckling as she repeated the term.

“Is there another term I ought to use?” Despite the neutral tone of Loki’s reply, his cheeks took on a faint shade of pink that stood out against his porcelain skin. “Or am I to presume you are no longer courting him?”

“I’m still seeing him, but I don’t think that ‘gentleman callers’ exist in modern day dating,” Theo couldn’t wipe the smile off her face from hearing the term in daily conversation. “Feminism and all that.”

“Ah, yes, forgive me.” The flush on Loki’s cheeks grew more noticeable. “Nonetheless, you are still courting him?”

“Yeah,” Theo nodded. “Why?”

“You’ve not spoken of him in quite some time.” Loki shrugged; the gesture looked like an attempt to be nonchalant, which matched his tone, but something about the movement seemed a bit… forced.

“You were busy supporting Thor, and I was busy supporting you, so it didn’t seem like the thing to discuss at the time.” Theo offered a sheepish smile as she explained her reasoning. “Besides, it’s nothing serious.”

In response, Loki leaned away ever-so-slightly, narrowing his eyes with a slight frown as he studied Theo.

“What?” Theo tensed as heart quickened in her chest, confused by Loki’s reaction.

“Midgardians often speak of love at first sight; after quite some time, your feelings for the actor seem ambivalent at best, yet you continue to court him,” Loki remarked slowly, continuing to look at her with a perplexed expression. “It’s rather odd.”

Odd - with a silent sigh of relief, Theo relaxed, her shoulders dropping ever so slightly.

“I don’t believe in love at first sight – that’s lust,” Theo winked, shaking her head. “We’re just having fun and enjoying each other’s company, that’s all.”

“I see,” with a nod, Loki hummed to himself. “Do you foresee the relationship turning into something greater?”

“I don’t know,” Theo shrugged. “Never gave it much thought, if I’m honest.”

As she answered the question, a thought occurred to her: Loki asked about her dating life, but Theo never asked about his…

“Speaking of dating, did I see you bring someone up to your suite after Stark’s fundraiser a few months back?” Theo cocked a brow at him, a sly grin spread over her face. “What’s going on there?”

“Rest assured, I’ve not kept any partners from you,” Loki replied with a smirk of his own. “I am… not one for attachment, shall we say.”

“So she was a booty call?” Theo giggled, earning a venomously dirty look from Loki. “Well, what would you call it?”

“I prefer to have companions for a single evening,” Loki dryly answered, a pale pink blush returning to his cheeks. “It’s less complicated that way.”

“Is that so?” Theo teased, her grin widening to the point that her cheeks hurt as Loki’s blush grew brighter.

“Yes –” Loki’s explanation took on an edge of defensiveness as his expression teetered on the verge of a scowl. “It’s not as uncommon as you might think, particularly among our peers.”

Theo barely managed to keep a straight face, all-too-amused by how quickly Loki became flustered.

“Civilians do not understand the nature of our roles, so relationships that are not between two agents or established prior to one becoming an Avenger are practically doomed from the start,” Loki continued. “Having seen the effect of those failed relationships on others, I have chosen to refrain from courting anyone.”

Theo’s stomach lurched at the observation, her prior amusement vanishing in an instant. She quickly grabbed her water glass, taking a long sip of chilled liquid to ground herself before the implications could make her spiral.

“That being said, physical desire is a near-universal experience, or a need, if you will—” If Theo’s expression shifted, Loki must not have noticed; the usual glint of something clever returned to his eye, as did a wry smirk. “—And sometimes our needs… Well… They need to be satiated.”

“Can’t fault you there.” Theo covered up her discomfort from Loki’s earlier comment with a smirk and a wink of her own. She started towards the living room, glancing back at Loki over her shoulder. “Some of us are hanging out in the living room. You want to join?”

Loki nodded, pressing away from the counter and following Theo into the living room.

Amidst a chorus of greetings directed at Loki, Theo took her usual seat, but this time stretched her legs out across the cushions so there wasn’t room for anyone else to sit. She looked up and grinned at Loki, who stood in front of the couch like he was about to take his usual place beside her.

With narrowed eyes flitting between the seat and Theo, Loki arched one brow in a silent challenge. Theo simply widened her grin, curious to see what would follow.

To Theo’s surprise, Loki didn’t say anything; instead, he picked up both of Theo’s legs, moving them out of the way so he could sit down; once he settled into his seat, he placed both of Theo’s feet on his lap, as a result returning Theo to her initial position. He capped off the response by flashing an impish grin at Theo, a sort of silent taunt - “you thought you could try me? Foolish mortal.”

Other than a suspicious glance exchanged between the widows, it didn’t seem like anyone even noticed the exchange between Loki and Theo.

Despite Theo’s playful behavior, Loki’s comment about relationships doomed from the start lurked in the dark recesses of her mind, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. Even as she forced herself to pay attention while Sam and Bucky explained the rules of the particular type of Halo match they selected for the evening, Theo couldn’t shake the vague uneasiness that the comment initially instilled within her.

A good night text from Chris, something which usually made Theo’s heart flutter in her chest, instead filled her with dread. However, Theo kept her discomfort close to her chest, acting like nothing was amiss as she replied to Chris, wishing him a good night. When Theo returned her attention back to her friends, she tucked her concern away behind carefully crafted smiles and quick-witted comments with such practiced ease that it should have been concerning.

Only when she had retreated to the privacy of her suite, after turning out the lights and tucking herself beneath her thick, plush comforter, did she allow the matter to crawl out from the shadows and capture her attention.

When Theo accepted the offer to go on a date, she hadn’t even considered that the difference in careers/experiences would influence their relationship, or the special considerations that she needed to make. Given her career as a doctor, she was used to missing holidays, birthdays, and special occasions because of work. Chris had, up to that point, seemed perfectly fine with that. With healthcare privacy laws, it wasn’t odd for Theo to avoid talking about work with other people, and that naturally flowed into her relationships, another thing that Chris never seemed to mind. He didn’t care that she never brought him up to her suite, and that they always stayed at his apartment.

Maybe she was overthinking it - they never said anything about getting serious. Besides, she didn’t know the circumstances of the failed relationships that Loki referred to. Other factors could have impacted those relationships.

Still, the idea of Chris inevitably being hurt because of Theo’s lack of foresight left a bitter taste in her mouth. The last thing Theo needed was to hurt anyone else, but time and time again she made the same mistakes, and innocent people were caught in the crossfire.

Staring up at her ceiling, Theo drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Up until that night, she had no reason to worry about the future with Chris. He hadn’t made any indication that he wanted to pursue a long-term relationship. At that point, they were more of a situationship than anything - they didn’t change their lives for each other, they simply saw each other when it was convenient. That was okay. Theo was fine with that.

Hopefully Chris was alright with that as well.

You tried to play it down But it never stuck I tried to bail this town I'm getting no such luck, yeah When nobody's around I keep my eyes on the clock There ain't a cure I've found In all my times around this block Every day we still try Every night we still cry We’re driving home on the 405

Between the overly loud sounds that Midgardians called music, the throngs of sweaty people, and the sharp stench of alcohol, Loki vehemently regretted allowing Maximoff to convince him to partake in this particular outing.

One of the local bars, the Hi-Lo, hosted an event they decided to call “Emo Night.” Maximoff’s explanation of “Emo Night” conveniently omitted that the “music” was far too loud and the quality of “singing” was questionable at best. Quite frankly, the quality of the scratchy, sometimes guttural noise could hardly be classified as singing, yet the people around them “danced” all the same - that was, if one could call shoving each other about in a sweaty horde dancing.

Theo informed him the correct term was “moshing,” but Loki felt “barbaric stumbling” would be more appropriate.

Some of their entourage seemed right at home. After freeing himself from the Winter Soldier’s programming, Barnes had grown fond of the loud and angsty racket. Maximoff had a penchant for live music, though this escapade made Loki question how the Scarlet Witch defined music. Though Wilson did not seem invested in the performance, he seemed quite comfortable with the strange cacophony – particularly strange given his typically warm and straightforward nature.

Others, however, shared a response akin to Loki’s. Rogers hung back near the bar, nursing a bottle of beer with ear plugs in as he watched the scene unfold with an openly perplexed expression. Romanoff sat on a bar stool beside him, maintaining her usually neutral expression while drinking some sort of dark-colored cocktail from a cheap plastic cup. Despite shifting his appearance to look human, any passerby could have concluded that Vision’s presence in the midst of the drunken chaos was not natural. Amidst a sea of dark, casual clothing, Vision wore a pastel blue sweater and well-tailored pants. The android’s complexion lacked the flush of alcohol and the sweat from ‘moshing;’ combined with his lack of movement and mild expression, only emphasized the utterly strange nature of the event. Had it not been for Maximoff’s presence in the crowd, the android would undoubtedly have chosen a different location from which to observe the spectacle.

Until that evening, Loki assumed Theo would not be at home in such a ruckus - though she had performed in similar venues prior to becoming an Avenger, her musical prowess seemed far more advanced than this drivel.

Yet, to Loki’s shock (and concern), Theo also claimed to be a fan of the so-called music; though she initially stood beside Loki as the so-called band performed, after bobbing her head to a couple of songs she disappeared into the sea of people as they jumped and screamed incomprehensible lyrics off-key.

Left by himself in what might have been his personal hell, Loki cursed Theo for abandoning him, only to chastise himself for such a thought; after all, Theo had attempted to warn Loki of what he would experience.

Earlier that afternoon, when Maximoff said “You’ll love it Lokes,” to which Loki rolled his eyes — it didn’t matter how many times he told Maximoff, she insisted on calling him Lokes — Theo couldn’t hold back the snort as she countered, “Given your thoughts on Tony’s music, you’ll probably hate it. But hey, you’ll probably enjoy the people watching.”

Theo was not to blame for Loki’s current predicament; if anything, the only person Loki could truly blame was himself. After all, he was the one who accepted the invitation.

The sound of distorted guitar shook the walls, his shoes stuck to the floor, and he couldn’t tell if he smelled stale beer or body odor - or both - but the scent was utterly repulsive. There were far too many people packed into such a small place, and they were drunken imbeciles. Even if he wanted to people-watch, it was too chaotic to tell what was going on. With the unnecessarily loud noise coming from the stage, a conversation would be near-impossible, no matter where he stood.

Then again, now that he was alone and everyone else was distracted by other things, no one would miss him if he left. Loki glanced over his shoulder at the exit, debating whether or not he should attempt to slip away at that moment, or wait until a break between songs.

The collision of another person bumping against Loki’s hip interrupted Loki’s train of thought. He whipped around, ready to unleash a series of insults at whoever dared to run into him, only to find Theo standing before him with two identical plastic cups in hand, both filled with a dark liquid similar to what Romanoff drank. The insults died on Loki’s tongue as she offered him one plastic cup, glancing down at the cup and then back at Loki before mouthing “for you.”

Loki lifted the cup and sniffed the drink; the saccharine scent of Midgardian soda intertwined with a spicy, sharp scent akin to some sort of Midgardian alcohol filled his nose, which he quite preferred to the establishment’s fetid aroma. However, Midgardian liquor would not be enough to dull his senses and render the evening tolerable; a tense chuckle – hardly more than a puff of air – escaped him at the thought.

When he looked back at Theo, her previously free hand now dangled a steel flask between two fingers for Loki to see, as if she could read his mind.

“Spiked with Thor’s whiskey,” Theo called out over the music, “You look like you need it.”

Loki rolled his eyes, schooling the discomfort from his face as he took a swallow of the beverage.

As if the Norns recognized Loki’s frustration from the inability to converse, the ending of the next song brought a short break in the music - just long enough for the performers to switch instruments - after a relentless barrage of sensory overload, the lack of screeching instruments filling the air was a blessed reprieve.

“Honestly, how can anyone enjoy such nonsense?” Loki leaned in towards Theo, still forced to raise his voice in order to be heard over the hollering from the inebriated audience. “It’s horrendously loud, the musicians are off-key, and the technique is terrible.”

Theo failed to bite back a grin, unfazed by Loki’s ire. “It’s not about perfection, Lo.”

“Lo?” Loki raised an eyebrow at her.

Theo faltered, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. “That’s okay, right?”

Loki sighed. “It’s—” tolerable, at the very least “—fine.”

Begrudgingly, Loki suspected that there were many things he’d allow Theo to call him that he wouldn’t allow anyone other than Thor to even consider.

“It’s about the feeling behind it. It helps us deal with the bad shit, like anger and sadness —“ Theo glanced toward the stage, then back at Loki. “— Life isn’t perfect. Music shouldn’t be perfect either.”

Much to Loki’s dismay, the band’s vocalist approached the microphone and announced the start of the next song.

Theo, however, lit up, practically glowing despite the dark venue.

“Listen closely to the lyrics—“ Theo instructed (via shouting) as the first chords and the drunken ruckus of the entire venue singing off-key slammed against Loki’s ears, “this is a good example!”

Had anyone else made the request, Loki would have outright refused; however, Loki trusted Theo enough to comply, and begrudgingly put forth a concerted effort to listen closely.

A few lines in, Theo joined in singing:

“The highway won / I’m listening to traffic reports one on one, coming quietly undone / I was born to run away from anything good / an escape artist’s son / sun drenched pavement in my blood / the first thing that I do when I walk in / is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and…”

Theo kept eye contact with Loki as she sang along; a wistful look in her eyes made Loki recall some of the emotions he’d buried from his younger years. An uncomfortable void swirled in his chest as he stood amidst what he might consider to be the first tier of his personal hell.

Yet, the song barreled on and Loki forced himself to continue focusing on the lyrical content. Though the writing was not Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination, the lyricism surprised Loki with its complexity and depth. References to historical events - the Cold War scares of the sixties - interlaced with references to the lingering sentiment within tragedy led to commentary around existential anxiety, loneliness, and the fear of not fulfilling one’s potential.

Loki glanced back over to Theo, who continued to watch him while singing along. She flashed a small, almost sheepish smile as the song reached its bridge:

“Jesus Christ, I’m twenty six / all the people I graduated with / all have kids, all have wives / all have people who care if they come home at night / well Jesus Christ, did I fuck up?”

Even in the poor lighting, Loki caught a glimpse of something painful behind Theo’s expression as she uttered the phrase ‘did I fuck up?’ The expression, however, was fleeting, replaced with a different sort of intensity as Theo locked eyes with Loki for the final chorus:

“I've been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster / but I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d… stay.”

Though the song concluded, neither sorcerer made any effort to look away; something unspoken and inexplicable held them in place, frozen in a moment despite the chaos and discord of their surroundings…

… Until said chaos and discord quite literally crashed into them.

Some drunken oaf had been shoved from the crowd and into Theo’s side, knocking her off balance. Theo let out a shriek of surprise as she stumbled forward in an attempt to not crash into Loki or spill her drink.

Without a second thought, Loki practically dove to catch her before the horde could trample her in their ‘moshing,’ even though it made his drink splash out of the cup in the process. Ignoring the liquid dripping off his other hand, he hoisted Theo up by her elbow and pulled her into his chest to steady her, at least until she regained her footing.

Yet, when he felt her weight lift, he hesitated to let go.

“Are you alright?” Loki leaned down, close enough that his cheek brushed against Theo’s temple as he spoke into her ear.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Theo tilted her head back, the soft skin of her nose brushing against the crook of Loki’s jaw as she replied; the sensation sent a pleasant chill down Loki’s spine. “Thanks!”

Theo stepped back, and Loki forced himself to let go; though they met each other’s gaze again, this time neither of them allowed the moment to last.

Stifled by the sheer volume of the music, the only conversation between Loki and Theo until the end of the event consisted passing comments from time to time - Theo sharing thoughts on a particular song, Loki offering to bring Theo a refill when they both finished their drinks, or one of the pair pointing out something particularly amusing.

Between comments, Loki often caught Theo singing along, though she did so in a far more discreet manner than anyone else in the venue. Despite Loki’s best attempts to focus on Theo’s voice, the sound was lost in a swell of drums and guitars and other voices. The effort invested into trying to hear Theo successfully distracted Loki from the disdain he held for everything else about his surroundings, though it did nothing to dampen the disappointment when he could not hear her far-more-melodic voice floating through the air.

Perhaps if Theo was the one singing them, or the one playing the songs on piano, he might enjoy them more.

After far too long, the return of overhead lighting and disappearance of musicians from the stage confirmed that the event had finally drawn to a close. Wrangling the various members of their entourage required a bit of teamwork and effort, but it was not long before the Avengers exited the establishment and felt the blessedly cool air of the city against their skin.

It did not take long before the Avengers split into smaller groups along the sidewalk, a mixture of varied walking speeds and small conversations naturally pairing certain avengers with others. Maximioff and Barnes led the group, laughing and singing along to themselves as they stumbled along. Close behind, Vision and Wilson kept a close eye on their companions as they chatted with Romanoff and Rogers.

From the back of the group, Loki observed his surroundings while relishing the quiet of night. Quiet, of course, was relative - in a city such as New York, the bustle of traffic remained such a constant that it turned into white noise with due time. Strangers occasionally passed on the sidewalk, barely giving any of the Avengers a second glance as they ventured to mystery destinations in the night.

Farther ahead, a beggar sat near an alleyway, his back against a dumpster so thoroughly covered in graffiti that it would have been impossible to guess its original color; as groups of people passed without paying the man any mind, Loki couldn’t help but notice the man’s resigned sadness.

“... You survived.” The comment, clearly directed towards Loki, drew his attention from the beggar, though he did not catch the full remark.

“Pardon?” As Loki replied, he glanced over to find Theo walking beside him, somehow managing to keep pace despite her much shorter stature.

“So, you survived Emo night,” Theo repeated with a coy grin. “How terrible was it?”

“It is certainly not how I would choose to spend my time,” Loki dryly replied. “Nor is it something I would have expected you to enjoy.”

“Thought I had more cultured taste?” Theo teased, bumping Loki’s hip with hers as they strolled along.

“Clearly I was mistaken.” Loki chuckled and shook his head. “Tell me you do not subject your actor to such nonsense…”

“You think I can walk into a bar with him and not be swarmed?” Theo cocked a brow as she looked up at Loki. Despite the amused smirk she wore, something bittersweet lurked beneath her gaze. “Even if he could get in without drawing attention, I think the internet would drag me for bringing him to a place like that.”

“Drag you?” Loki echoed, hoping Theo might clarify what she meant by such a term.

“Chew me out. Chastise me. That sort of thing.” Theo sighed, looking ahead once more. “It’s not exactly a luxury hot spot; I’m guessing Chris’s fans would think this kind of place is beneath him.”

“What would he think?”

“I couldn’t see him having fun, but I don’t really know,” Theo admitted with such nonchalance that it almost seemed odd. “He seems too happy to really get the appeal.”

Loki froze in place, struck by Theo’s answer. Yes, Loki had endured hardships that others might not understand, but no one could truly exist without heartache, could they?

Theo stopped a step ahead and glanced back at Loki. “What?”

“I–” Loki faltered, grasping for the appropriate response. “Surely he has experienced emotions other than happiness?”

“I mean, sure?” Theo glanced ahead at the rest of the group, then back at Loki. “Look, we don’t really talk about shit like that, but I don’t think he’s ever had a bad thing happen to him. If I ever got the crazy idea to talk to him about a bad day at work, I don’t doubt that he’d listen and try to make me feel better, but I doubt he’d really understand.”

“The more you reveal about your relationship, the less I understand the appeal.” Loki shook his head and started forward once more. “I thought that Midgardians valued love for the emotional connection, and yet you seem all too content to avoid emotions in your courtship with the actor.”

“We connect in other ways.” Theo’s tone held a certain cheekiness to it, which she paired with an equally cheeky grin. “I could tell you about the se–”

“– No, I think I am quite alright –” Loki replied rather sharply, cheeks burning as he forced images of Theo in a compromising position from his mind. The last thing he needed was to linger on such inappropriate thoughts, particularly with another Avenger.

“– Hey, you were the one who said everyone has needs –” Theo pointed out, far too self-satisfied in her response, “I figured you’d get it.”

“I do not need the mundane details to understand the appeal of physical intimacy.” Loki scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I simply do not understand why you bother with the rest of the courtship if you’ve no interest in further commitment.”

Theo did not have an immediate answer; she drew in a breath as if to speak, but remained quiet.

By that point, the pair had walked far enough that they were about to pass the beggar Loki had previously noticed; at that point, they were close enough that Loki could clearly make out the creases of age and weathered skin, as well as the faint wisps of silver where a once robust head of hair likely sat. The man’s earlier melancholy lingered in Loki’s memory, and sentiment tugged at Loki’s heartstrings, compelling him to do something.

All it took was a twitch of Loki’s fingers to conjure some cash in hand; if nothing else, Loki figured the man could use the money for a night of shelter and a warm meal. Yet, before Loki had the chance to acknowledge the man, Theo had already greeted the man by name, then crouched down so she was at eye-level before she extended some sort of plastic card to him, saying something Loki didn't quite catch. The man, however, grinned at Theo, his smile highlighting gaps where his teeth had fallen out at some point, before thanking her for her generosity.

Dumbfounded, Loki offered a quick greeting and extended the cash, which the elderly man thanked him for, though it was not with the level of warmth that the man exuded when he spoke to Theo.

The moment they were not within earshot of the man, Loki turned to Theo. “You know him?”

“Before I was an Avenger, I played a lot of shows in this area,” Theo explained with a small shrug. “Greg used to be the janitor at one of the local bars, but since I last saw him, he had to quit because of some health problems that left him unable to work. Between the treatment and the lack of income he couldn’t pay rent and ended up on the streets.

“I didn’t find out until a couple weeks ago, when I was walking home and I recognized him, so I stopped to talk to him and learned about what happened. I told myself that the next time I saw him, I’d put Tony’s insane bank account to use and give him enough money that he would never have to sleep on the street again, and he wouldn’t have to worry about making ends meet The card has contact info for some people who can help him with the logistics.”

“Awfully generous of you,” Loki remarked.

“Hey, you didn’t even know him, but you still gave a bit of cash too,” Theo pointed out with a soft smile. “Most people would have ignored him.”

“Yes, well, back to our previous conversation–” Uncomfortable with the direction with which Theo took his remark, Loki quickly diverted the conversation. “–You never answered my question.”

“What question?” Theo glanced at Loki as they rounded the corner, Avengers Tower stretching into the sky ahead of them.

“Why bother with a courtship if you have no intention of pursuing a serious relationship?”

“You’re reading too much into this,” Theo laughed nervously as she shook her head. “It’s not that I refuse to be in a serious relationship - I just like to go with the flow.”

Yet, contrary to what Theo said, a familiar melancholy in Theo’s eye said otherwise - the same melancholy he caught when Theo sang, ‘the first thing that I do when I walk in is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and / I’ve been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster…’

That look in Theo’s eye told Loki everything he needed to know.

We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again, yeah, you know We're just amateur lovers With amateur friends I can tell you what you're thinking now Before you think it you can settle down Our lovin' isn't gonna burn us out We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again Yeah, let's do it again

#loki #loki fanfiction #loki slow burn #loki fluff #loki fanfic #loki marvel #loki mcu #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki x ofc #loki x ofc fan fiction #when everything's made to be broken #wemtbb #loki angst

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mimiruku · 12 days

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Jojooo! Hope you are well! Here are my questions for that ask meme! 🍒 (cherries) - Does your character have a best friend? How long have they known each other? What do they like most about each other? How did they meet? (🤭) , 🧣(scarf) - What comforts your oc? Is it an item? An action? A person? Whatever it is, how any why does it comfort them? , And 🎸 (electric guitar) - What’s your character’s music taste like? Do they have one or two artists they play on repeat or do they have a varied and eclectic collection of music? Do they like mainstream artists or prefer underground musicians? What genres do they enjoy?

█ 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ⸻ ( ⚝ )

I think you just want compliments for Momina :/ but okay. hahahahah this is also super late . . . but here we gooo, thank you for your patience as always, Nimo!

╰┈┈➤ 🍒 ( cherries ) - Does your character have a best friend? How long have they known each other? What do they like most about each other? How did they meet?

That title goes to Momina alone ⸻ ! Funnily enough, for Miruku the growth of their friendship had been unnecessarily prolonged, while they got along fairly quickly when they first met in middle school, it had been something he did not properly acknowledge until very late in his teens. For quite sometime Momina has just been a person Miruku is fond off but held no weight in their relationship. Momina is kind, but Momina is kind to everyone, mostly to a fault. This kindness and tolerance is also what Miruku likes most about her, but he'd rather if she was not ; it's sad, how she's always getting hurt, emancipated for people that don't deserve her.

Their meeting is ordinary, so much so that Miruku remembers it only in hazy fractures. A classroom, a project & an exchange of email. He doesn't remember what they did or why they continued talking long after their group activity ended, he thinks it hardly matters now. ( he doesn't even remember who else was in the group ! ) - if you asked if where they've met, he'd likely like. He'd say ❝ I found her in the recyclable trash bin. I recycled her. ❞

╰┈┈➤ 🧣 ( scarf ) - What comforts your oc? Is it an item? An action? A person? Whatever it is, how any why does it comfort them?

Answered. But I'd also like to add that, sleeping is a comfort activity for him, unfortunately sleep is spars and sporadic, sleeping does not come easy & so when he does, more often than not, he sleeps for a prolong periods of time. He also lies down a lot as well, if not careful, he'd have likely always be in bed even if he wasn't going to sleep. Later in his life, things that makes him sleepy becomes a source of comfort.

╰┈┈➤ 🎸 ( electric guitar ) - What’s your character’s music taste like? Do they have one or two artists they play on repeat or do they have a varied and eclectic collection of music? Do they like mainstream artists or prefer underground musicians? What genres do they enjoy?

I've answered something similar before ! But to expound, Miruku's interest in music is not contained in one genre or type of music, he likes to explore , there are so many interesting and curious music out there ! & thus, when I say 'he listens to anything and everything' I truly mean it. ( mainstream and underground means nothing to him! ) he does still have favorites however , there is always a soft & quiet music playing in his home, barely audible in the background ⸻ quite a number of them are old love songs & piano pieces,

#dreamieparadise #𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄. ⸻ ◜ character analysis／ miruku◞#* even tho miruku likes music a lot he actually can't sing at all!!!!#long post cw

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strawwritesfic · 2 years

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Kyoya Ootori x Female!Reader: Soul

Summary: It was supposed to be the best day of your life.

Rating/Tags: All (The Glorious War of Sisterly Rivalry; older sister!Reader; Reader & Original Character; Kyoya & the Host Club; established Kyoya/Reader; Ouran High School Student!Reader; breakup; no honorifics; Kyoya/Reader/Original Character)

Challenge: “160 Collective Drabbles” challenge by BobaPop on Lunaescence Archives.

Tag List: @imaginesfire

Soul

It was supposed to be the best day of your entire life. Admittedly, that wasn't saying all that much, since you were only in high school, but you still awoke with a flurry of excitement the moment your mother's maid slipped into your bedroom to pull the curtains back. From that moment on, everything went just as it should have: your favorite tea delivered before you could think of getting out of bed, the sun shining bright in a cloudless blue sky straight into your bedroom, and bird song drifting inside with the flower-scented breeze. You had nowhere to be and nothing to do until that evening, and spent a delightful day watching the world prepare for you to take center stage.

Two hours before that happy time, you finally slipped into your bathroom to get yourself ready for that night.

"I don't see why they're making all this fuss about you," your younger sister observed sullenly from her perch on the (obviously closed) toilet.

Normally you did not allow Kita in to watch your makeup routine, but after her fifth fight with your mother that day, you'd practically been assigned babysitting duty. This was not an ideal situation for the best day of your life. A glance in your mirror showed you Kita's usually dour expression directed toward you. Well, it was your day, not hers. She was understandably jealous. You decided to be magnanimous, rather than let something like her attitude ruin your mood.

"It's a celebration," you answered, without remarking upon how her expression would prematurely wrinkle her features. After all, you were the one that would need to remain "dewy and youthful" for as long as possible.

So far, judging by your reflection, you were managing just fine, though your hair could use some work. For once, you were out of your gaudy Ouran Academy uniform, and you wanted to radiate beauty from every angle--something all the easier to achieve when your only competition was Kita's scowl.

She did not answer, which you counted as a point in your favor. If she was done pouting, perhaps you could get some work done. You pulled open a drawer to reveal a painstakingly organized rainbow of makeup products inside. The decision of what foundation to start with was just forming in your mind when Kita decided to interrupt again:

"Yeah, but what are we supposed to be celebrating?"

Your eyes shut as you gave in to temptation and let out a sigh. Then you turned, hands on your hips, to explain to her what she ought to already have known: "We're celebrating," you answered in tones of forced patience, "because my new makeup line has outsold all of Father's since it was released."

This only caused her to draw her knees to her chest and glare at the floor. She looked like some disgusting, puffed-up bird that made its home in toilets, and somehow she didn't care. You would never understand your little sister.

"Still don't see what that has to do with you," she muttered.

Another sigh escaped you, this one not so well hidden. "I designed it."

"So? I could do that. I have done that. Not that anyone around here cares what I do."

You shook your head and returned to the mirror to apply your selected foundation. Kita's argument was not one you wanted to have again, not that day.

Your family business was makeup--high-end makeup, though you hoped to change that soon. As the eldest child, you would inherit the company upon your parents' deaths, while Kita got…well, money enough to get by, you supposed.

It wasn't a situation you could change, nor would you if you could have. You liked putting things together, liked figuring out solutions to problems, liked figuring out the best lighting to show off a model's cheekbones. There was no use listening to your sister whine about it all night. Hopefully she'd get over it before the guests arrived.

"Besides," Kita went on, so quietly that someone that didn't know her well might have thought you weren't supposed to hear, "your success has nothing to do with you. I could sell a ton of mascara, too, if I had your boyfriend."

You gaped at her reflection. "Kita, how can you say that? I've worked so hard to--"

"You have not. It's all Ootori's doing. Everyone knows it. You couldn't even get Mom to try your stuff before you got him to do your work for you."

Now it would be impossible to apply your blush properly, your body was making so much of its own. "Just because you're jealous-"

"Jealous? Of what?" Kita demanded, hot-faced herself. "You not being able to do anything without hanging off Ootori?"

"That isn't true, Kita!"

"Yes, it is! I don't even see what he sees in you, you're so useless!"

Tears threatened to undo what work you had done on your face. Up until recently, you and your sister had got along well. Then she had started at Ouran and, like all the girls there--including yourself, you couldn't forget--had fallen head over heels for the Host Club. A particular member of the Host Club. Your member of the Host Club.

Ever since she'd met Kyoya, Kita had done a complete one-eighty. Now she refused to help you with figures or advertisements, barely talked to you at family events, and had even started following your boyfriend around whenever he visited. Your parents told you that she was young and that you shouldn't take it so personally, but it was hard to be understanding when she talked like this.

"Get out of my room," you said.

Kita scrambled to her feet only to get right in your face. "I won't! I'm tired of giving up everything just because you're older!"

"If you don't get out of here, I'll tell Mom."

"Go ahead! You're the favorite, aren't you? You got your boyfriend to make sure that Mom and Dad love you most!"

"Kita--"

But it seemed now was the time she had chosen to say everything that had been on her mind since the day she stopped talking to you except to make snide remarks about the state of your clothes. "Mom and Dad love you. The teachers love you. Ootori loves you. You think you're so great. Well, I could do everything you do if someone gave me the chance. You get everything, and I get nothing!"

Now Kita was crying in earnest, her tear-streaked face as blotchy as yours felt. Despite everything--her constant hogging of Kyoya's time whenever she visited the Host Club, her attempts to embarrass you in front of your friends, even her constant asides about your average grades--you felt for her. Before you could attempt to say anything to patch things up, however, someone outside the bathroom cleared their throat.

Both you and your sister looked wildly around. There, standing in your bedroom a few feet away from the open bathroom door, stood Kyoya Ootori, the love of both your lives. He looked particularly dapper that afternoon in the suit he'd put on for the party. Of course, Kyoya always looked dapper.

Kita froze, but you remembered your manners.

"Kyoya!" you said brightly.

"[Name]," he said, then nodded at the mortified girl at your side. "[L Name]."

Kita made a very short, high-pitched sound in response. You suspected that she, like you, was wondering how much of your argument he had overheard. Fortunately, Kyoya was a gentleman. He said nothing as he extended one hand toward you.

"Would you join me for a walk?" he asked.

As usual, Kyoya's attention to you caused butterflies to explode into being inside your stomach. "I'm-I'm not quite ready," you said, torn between embarrassment at Kyoya seeing your natural features exposed like this, and your desire to follow him anywhere--even to the ends of the earth, so long as your sister didn't follow.

"I'll go," she said eagerly.

Kyoya did not spare her a glance, his gaze steady upon you. "I'll only keep you for a few minutes," he promised. "I'll have you back in time for the party."

"O-Okay,” you said.

You stepped away from the mirror and into your bedroom to take Kyoya's hand. With your arm in his, the two of you left Kita behind. Her glower followed you all the way out the door. What, did she expect you to let her occupy your boyfriend all night? He was far too mature to deal with a first year dragging him around for hours.

Kita and her bad manners were behind you now. Once Kyoya had led you out into the nearly-finished garden, you took a deep breath. The heady scent of hundreds of flowers made your head swim pleasantly. A walk with your boyfriend was just what the doctor ordered. You were happy enough to bob along at his side until it struck you how quiet he was being.

"Kyo? Is something wrong?" You leaned forward a little to frown up at him.

His dark eyes slid away from one of the chefs setting up a plate of otoro and onto you. "Why should anything be wrong?" he asked, and followed his question with one his rare smiles.

You could still remember the first time he had graced you with one of those smiles. Not a hoard of fellow students requesting his time at the Host Club. Not at some public event where your two families had to make nice. No, he had stopped you after arithmetic one day outside of class. Far at the end of the hall, you could see the heads of all six of his friends poking around the corner, the twins grinning as usual while the rest attempted to hide. You hadn't thought anything of their presence until Kyoya said:

"What would you say to getting dinner with me this weekend?"

You had laughed. “You mean for some Host Club event?"

“I don't see why I should ask by myself if I meant to bring them along. They'll likely show up anyway, but I intended the invitation to be for you alone.”

The blood ran from your face, then flooded back into it. You stole a glance toward the other hosts to see Hikaru (or was it Kaoru?) snickering openly. "Very funny, Ootori.”

"Well, if you aren't interested…" He turned to leave, but your curiosity got the best of you.

"Wait!" You had almost had the audacity to grab his shoulder. Luckily, Kyoya turned around first, a politely disinterested look upon his face. "Why me?"

"False modesty does not become you." You opened your mouth to protest that there was nothing false about it, but Kyoya went on, "Your family business has potential that I am interested in. You always request me during your visits to the Host Club. If it benefits both of us, why not spend more time together outside of school?"

You had not been able to speak. The Ootori family's system of companies was much bigger than the one your family owned, and yet Kyoya saw potential in it. He saw potential in you. After a moment, you nodded.

"Good. I'll pick you up at seven this Saturday. Here's my number, in case you need to cancel."

Wordlessly, your fingers wrapped around the scrap of paper he held out. Your heart beat like the wings of your pet canary. He offered you a shallow, chivalrous bow, then headed off to his friends, all of whom hastily ducked out of sight when they saw him coming.

You had not truthfully expected Kyoya to show up that Saturday, so you had not told your family to expect company. He was not the kind of boy to play heartless jokes on young women (especially regular patrons of the Host Club), but he could easily change his mind about being seen in public with one such as you. Show up he had, though, and since then, you had been in a whirlwind of dinner dates, weekend trips, and late nights of working on one company project or another.

Once such late night, you had awoken to find your head in his lap, his fingers gently fiddling with your hair while he frowned at some scrap of business. Kyoya was not the most openly affection of boyfriends, but you were over the moon. Outside of Kita's open jealousy and your having to share your boyfriend with every girl in school during Host Club hours, you couldn't have been happier.

"[Name]?" his voice came from afar.

"Hmmm?" you said dreamily as you returned to the present. It didn't take long for you to remember that you were supposed to be worried about him. "S-sorry. Did you say something?"

Kyoya didn't miss a beat. "I was saying that your sister was very accommodating this afternoon."

"Accommodating?" You threw him a look.

Kyoya's eyes remained on the garden path. "Yes. She offered to keep me company while I waited for you, then graciously allowed me to steal you away from her."

Now you looked behind yourself, half-expecting to see Kita lurking somewhere inside the house with her face pressed to the glass to watch your walk.

"She can be very accommodating," you said with forced civility, "when she has the incentive." That incentive being to steal your boyfriend, which wasn't something she would be able to manage anyway.

"It was quite kind of her, and she's very civil when she requests my time at the Host Club."

You were sure she was. Seeing as you could not buy up all of Kyoya's time with your allowance, you spent most of your own in the Host Club reading--or rather, pretending to read while watching all the girls swoon over what was rightfully yours. Kita especially made sure you were watching whenever she fawned over him. Knowing his job was to be polite and charming was the only thing that got you through. You'd never have expected him to notice those other girls, especially not your baby sister.

"I don't want to talk about Kita," you announced, tugging him closer. "It's not her day. It's mine."

"Speaking of your sister's admirable qualities does not diminish your own."

You eyed him suspiciously. That line was one you'd heard him use on dozens of girls throughout the years, but never on you. "Let's talk about something more interesting. Like the announcement that we're making tonight in front of my parents and everyone."

The emphasis on we're did seem to get Kyoya's attention. He loved business propositions, after all. This time, you noticed, his reaction was not the same as usual. Rather than launch into his plan to make sure the announcement went off without a hitch, he stopped right there in the middle of the path. Before you could ask again what was wrong, he finally looked at you.

"I won't be making any announcements tonight," he said.

For a moment, all you could was stare at him. Then you giggled, and stepped in front of him to take his hands. "What are you talking about? It was all your idea! They're sure to take the idea of selling makeup to peasants well if you bring it up."

"You'll have to tell them yourself."

"Why?"

He fell silent for a while before he slowly looked away from you again. It seemed as though whatever he had to tell you was very difficult for him--and you had never seen Kyoya have difficulty with anything before, except in dealing Tamaki's flightier ideas.

"I will not be involved with [L Name] Cosmetics anymore. Not officially." Though you did not understand why, your heart beat tremendously in your chest. His eyes flashed behind his glasses even as his hands sat limp in yours. "For the past eight months, I have done my best to see your company grow. Now I realize that all that has been a waste of time. It will never grow to its full potential with you at the head."

Your eyes burned with the effort of holding back tears. Wildly, you shook your head in the hopes he wouldn't notice how close you were to breaking. Had he heard Kita's accusations from earlier? Did he believe them?

"That's not true! It has grown. That's what tonight is all about! And I know it will continue to grow if you're still here to help me," you said.

His voice was flat, void of all emotion, when he replied, "The head of a business should be able to run her own company."

You were upset, that much was clear. Nevertheless, you weren't quite crying yet. Kyoya wouldn't say these things to you and mean them. He loved you. He'd told you so. You refused to believe that he really thought you were that stupid because of something Kita had said in the heat of anger.

"Why are you telling me this?" you demanded, voice shaking.

"Because it is true," he answered, but as he did, he continued to look away.

That caused you to snap. You let go of his hands and rushed over to shove yourself right in front of his eyes.

"If you think that I somehow tricked you into this because of what Kita was shouting earlier today, that's ridiculous! You asked me out. I—I admit that I still have a lot to learn, but I can learn when you're with me. Please don't do this.” Not that Kyoya had come to the point of breaking up with you, but no matter what certain individuals thought of your intelligence, you could see what was coming a mile away.

His eyes remained staring at something beyond your shoulder for a long time. Then they met yours, and he answered coldly, "this was only ever a business arrangement. I was under the impression that you understood that from the beginning. There will be no future for [L Name] Cosmetics underneath you, so I am no longer interested in you."

You gasped. A parade of images flooded your mind: Kyoya smiling at you over the heads of a gaggle of Host Club girls; Kyoya taking your hand to move a pencil inside it across the page; Kyoya kissing you on the lips for the first time the night he met your parents. He could be cold. He could be distant. But he was never cruel. You felt as though he'd slipped a dagger into your very soul.

"Tell me the truth!" you shouted, hands balled at your sides. Your temper did not faze him.

"Believe what you want." He pushed his glasses up his nose and turned back toward the house. "Your company's future is no longer of any concern to me, and I suppose it was foolish to think it ever was." He fell silent again, this time staring at his feet. Then he spoke again, his voice quiet, "It has been suggested that your sister would be a more prudent match for a third son such as myself.”

Your mouth fell open as your stomach dropped. "Who-"

Just like that, his manner changed again. "I happen to agree. I don't think I will have much trouble convincing her to date me in your stead, do you? After all, she was so accommodating this afternoon."

Kita? You gazed at Kyoya's back with an expression of absolute horror. This couldn't be happening. Any day of the week, you wouldn't have believed him capable of breaking up with you in such a manner, but on the best day of your life? Moreover, so that he could date foul-mannered, ill-tempered, conceited Kita of all people?

"You can't!" you said, running after him. This time, you did grab his shoulder.

"I can and I will." His blank features faded somewhat as he looked back at your stricken form. "Goodbye, [Name]. I suppose I'll be seeing you again shortly."

He bowed once more before he left. You stared after him, aghast. Kita, your sister, your rival, would find nothing wrong in accepting your ex as a suitor. She'd see it as some sort of karmic payback for you stealing her spotlight. If she could not have your company, she would at the very least have the man you loved.

From behind you came the swelling of the orchestra signaling the start of your party, but it was not to your bathroom to finish getting ready that you ran. No, you sped away to hide yourself deep in the most distant topiary to cry. Kita had said you had everything and she had nothing, but just then you would have given up everything promised to you just to have Kyoya back.

It was supposed to be the best day of your life.

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