#like the original characters i've added the character arcs and the themes i'm trying to weave into the story

[thebirdandhersong]

at this rate, the first long-form work of fiction I'll have finished since 2018 will be a Lockwood and Co fanfic. I'm actually quite tempted to print myself a copy to celebrate this feat after I'm done writing this fic (and done editing, and all that).......

[lilblucat]

Are there gonna be any major changes to the parent au now that ep 8 is out?

Ngl I don't think I'll be changing anything. There's a few easy tweaks I can make, but also some hard ones. Here's a list:

Khan and Nori are almost completely different between my fic and ep8 and I'm very attached to how I've written them to change that. Nori's presentation here is actually very important to the current arc and removing that removes a lot of the soul of it I feel

V's Sentinel would have to be added in

The explanation for why the Solver isn't around anymore could just be used as the reason why Uzi being its new main host isn't a thing in this fic. Eventually I figure she would've tried to purge it from her systems and it ended up fragmenting (somehow this makes every Solver user unable to access their Solver abilities)

Easy tweak but I mention at one point in the fic that V only lived because of Uzi and N doing... something? That could be an easy scrub

In light of episode 8, J's quest to eliminate the Solver fragments could be seen as her trying to amend things. That she was wrong in willingly working for the Solver. I was also writing J as if she didn't know she was working with Cyn and the Solver, so that's also a change

It's REALLY funny to me that the state we leave Uzi in is so resembling of the situation in the fic. 24 is canon what the fuck. And both situations feature Uzi eating something she shouldn't. Uzi gets extra flesh and a voice in her head that she doesn't like :)

Also it's lowkey funny to me that I accidentally just... wrote in the theme of the show into this fic? Episode 8 makes it clear that being genuine with others and yourself is kind of the theme here, and that's exactly what Uzi and N work through for the first arc of the fic. Trying to be people they really aren't and relapsing into who they actually are, even if that's not what others want of them. Like yeah, it's the same thing all over again basically lol.

Other stuff that's funny to me in light of episode 8:

A Sentinel rider was something I was cooking for this fic. It wasn't going to be V, though. I have concept art on this blog of the harness for this. Also you guys can take this since I've shared this crop elsewhere before lol

The tease with Doll still being alive works almost perfectly into an idea I've been trying to make work in this fic. Before episode 7, this was originally my plan with Nori's character

I wrote this fic with the idea that Uzi isn't in her original body? I'm pretty sure I made a few nods towards this probably being the case in the fic (at least, I remember keeping it in mind for the tail surgery chapter). I figured it would be destroyed in the finale and uhhhhh according to the final bit, Uzi is now a collection of cameras like Cyn. She's a hologram now... I was right that her body didn't last the finale

[bnuunydoll]

Gutsy Impressions: My Berserk Live Reading

Berserk was a series that I heard about and got recommended constantly but I didn't get the final push to crack it open until I saw my girlfriend constantly wearing adorable berserk clothes.

Since then I've been sending her and several other people my info dumps about moments that stood out to me and thought it might be better to toss those all in one place for convenience, with the added bonus of subjecting random people to my ramblings.

With that said... I just finished Episode 118: "Beast of Darkness" and thought it would be the perfect place to start things off.

A Quick Prelude

Berserk has been a very curious read for me up to this point. I thought I had a broad idea about some themes and some early plot beats that I got from some random youtube essay, but I wasn't expecting the story to resonate with me as deeply as it does. I was expecting a Dark Fantasy setting, maybe some fun fights, and a story about an overpowered hero with a rough past cutting his way through a world where even the tiniest particles feel hostile. Those expectations came from my time with several other manga from the era such as Violence Jack and Fist of the North Star, but what made Berserk stand out in the early chapters was just how...traumatized Guts is. And unfortunately haha, that's extremely relatable in more ways than I would like! (o´▽`o)

Those early chapters that filled out the Black Swordsman Arc showed a character that was really struggling and gave hints as to how he got to that point, and the following arc in Golden Age gave context to that hurt and everything surrounding it. While I'll probably turn my original text walls into posts eventually, I think the current arc I'm reading through is covering a topic I'm extremely interested in; A character recognizing that trauma and trying to change.

//Going forward will there will be discussion of Violence, Varying Kinds of Abuse, Trauma, and my own Personal Experiences alongside spoilers for whatever is discussed. Berserk is a really heavy series that feels and I don't expect that my rambling will be different! //

The Struggler

One of first pages of Episode 118 starts with a series of quotes I adore.

Delivered by the Skull Knight, I believe this serves as a thesis of sorts for Guts' story. He's a struggler, he struggled through violence and emotional betrayal his entire life and those struggles have scarred him in more ways than just physical. Despite that, I believe Guts has learned from this pain and is trying to find his own ways to stop this cycle of hurt from continuing even when it's killing him.

Finding your own way to stop a cycle of pain like that isn't easy though. It's really, really, excruciatingly difficult, actually.

And I think this page and several others like it are a beautifully tragic way of showing just how hard it is to persevere under those conditions. For Guts, this has been a nightly occurrence ever since he got his brand. Constantly hearing voices, swinging at shadows, having sleep be a luxury instead of a guarantee. He's always fighting and it's wearing him down.

These are all experiences that feel acutely personal and relatable, and those feelings of "god that's so relatable" is something that has elevated Berserk for me. When I see Guts go through this every night, I think "oh that feels like PTSD,,, like MY experiences with PTSD."

I can't claim to have gone through quite as much horrific content as the central character has, but the constants of fighting, sexual assault, the lack of stability, isolation, and the constant feeling of being in a crisis were the constants of most of my life. Anytime it felt like I was going to be escaping that cycle of misery through the help of someone new felt like I was just being tossed into a different wash cycle of suffering where the person would eventually leave after inflicting significant amounts of psychic damage. I felt a lot of companionship with Guts due to this, and especially his relationship with Griffith.

For context I am a transfemme thing that has effectively always been disabled and sick and also struggling to escape an abusive situation or even find a purpose until extremely recently in my life. In my life there were many people that Griffith reminded me of, and the end result of it was that I became extremely withdrawn and afraid of people to the point of becoming nocturnal just to lessen my chances of interacting with another living thing. It was a miserable way to live! (〃＞＿＜;〃) And whenever I did interact with people, I was always afraid of not just what they would do, but of myself and trying to avoid acting in ways that would hurt other people.

"Perhaps You Can Become A Real Monster" is a line that feels glued to the curves of my brain for that exact reason. I am in a much better place now with loving partners and friends but it's still hard to completely avoid that feeling that I could become just as terrible and abusive as the people that hurt me.

Although it is that topic of friends and loved ones that I believe the chapter touches on at the end. When Guts is feeling overwhelmed and crushed under the weight of these things that are haunting him, he ends up being saved by Puck and ends up accepting him as a companion.

This interaction between them feels special to me, and I think it points to a very clear message about dealing with pain and trauma. Much like I was, Guts' negative experiences were making him self isolate and pursue goals on his own with his own ways of dealing with pain. But this mindset which feels personified by The Beast of Darkness wasn't good for either of us. It's self destructive and exhausting and he can't keep doing things that way. The only issue is that healing is hard. When you lock yourself in a tiny apartment for 2 years like I did (or dedicate your existence to being alone and cutting down demons like Guts) the idea of accepting help or trying to form a new relationship is terrifying and difficult and might even be hurtful. But it's only because he had that relationship that he's able to make it through the night.

"Beast...? Monster? Heh! Screw that."

It feels kind of silly to type that out. That's how it always feels though, to go through a bad night full of awful thoughts and voices only to realize it wasn't rea . Unfortunately that is the struggle of trying to survive and move forward after going through so much. When I get bad nights and panic attacks like that, it feels like a nightmare. I end up living out tons of scenarios about how the same awful things will happen again and again, how I'll make the same mistakes over and over and everyone will leave, and how I'll end up becoming one of the same horrific monsters that caused my pain to start with. But the only reason I'm able to make it through and laugh at the end now is because I kept fighting and rejecting those ideas and eventually forming new healthy relationships.

~My hands kinda hurt I think I'm almost done yapping~

I love pages like this. Random one off pages with no dialogue that manage to perfectly capture a certain feeling. For me, that feeling is how it feels to be trapped under the shadow of trauma. I was suffering a lot at my worst, and I know a lot of people in my personal life are still suffering. It feels hopeless a lot of times...but that doesn't mean anyone should give up. If nothing else, Berserk has been a story about hope and survival, and the idea that you can always keep going despite how hopeless it feels, no matter how many scars you get along the way, is a message I wish I could have given a lot of people I used to know.

-Fin-

Woaw that was kinda dark!! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ but if you've made it this far I super duper appreciate it!! I think my media literacy and writing skills are kinda terrible awful lmao, but I do want to share what I get from different things I engage with anyway. I hope YOU have a wonderful day, make sure to come again for next time (´,,•ω•,,)♡

Make sure to get yourself a little treat today~ ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡❤️

[zagreuses-toast]

I come from a place of sheer curiousity and I just wanna ask genuinely- you say that you're a fan of 13s/ the chibnall era. Why? Doctor who is my favourite show and I've connected with every incarnation deeply and immediately, but have never been able to "click" with 13, despite my best efforts. What is it that you like about her? What is it that you like about chibnalls writing? I want to know and I want to like her/it too, but as of right now, I just... don't. Obviously you're not obligated to, but can you explain why?

Ok so this ended up being a Long Post, so I'm putting my response under the read more. Also I'm assuming you've actually watched the Chibnall era up to The Power of The Doctor, if you haven't then heads up for spoilers and stuff that might not make much sense without context.

Oh and I'm gonna @ @rearranging-deck-chairs and @ssaalexblake because I see their DW opinions all the time and they're really good and they can probably give more nuanced answers on some things. (Idk how well I did on explaining why I liked some of them, and it really is up to personal preference on some things)

Thirteen herself:

There are a lot of reasons I like Chibnalls era, but one of the biggest ones out the gate is definitely Jodie and her acting in the role of the Doctor. I think the way she balances bouncy gregariousness with the colder more angry and mean aspects of the Doctor is great. She does this thing where she can just make her eyes go dead and then smile like it's a threat, like she's gonna bite, especially when going up against villains. It's great. And Jodie herself is a delightful person.

Beyond just physical acting choices, I find the thirteenth Doctors struggle between her anger and secrecy, vs her desire to connect and her joy at life very very compelling. She keeps this distance that's really interesting I think, where she's genuinely attached to and trying to be a friend to the Fam, but still trying to keep her whole past out of the deal, which doesn't work that well, as we see in s12 and Flux. She's surrounded by death and haunted by the knowledge of how little time she has with her friends, (Grace, and she just came back from bill) but she still wants and needs that connection, and she learns to live in the present a bit. I made a whole post about her final regeneration speech here. I love her arc a lot even if it hurts. Also she's such a horrible hypocrite about so many things, which also makes her a fun character to rotate in my head and study like a bug. I do see it as being on purpose, some people seem to think it's just bad writing that she contradicts herself but imo that's a big part of her character.

Chibnalls writing:

I personally like the timeless child plot because :

There are a lot of stories and ideas in the Chibnall era I like, and a lot more I find very compelling. Whatever your opinions on the writing (and I definitely have had a lot of critique for some bits), there were a lot of ideas introduced that were fun and interesting. One of the weaker points of the era IMO is having so much fun stuff set up, but only shallowly or quickly exploring it, and then adding more stuff on top.

A lot of things didn't get the exploration/screen time I thought they deserved (especially characterization and interaction/dialogue wise). But that just gives my brain more to chew on at the end of the day, and I do love what was done during the seasons itself, not just all the potential stuff.

1) I can connect with it, I know Chibnall was coming at it from a place of being an adoptee, but as a native person the story of a kid taken and raised into an imperial/colonial society, who had their history stolen and their body exploited to further that societies ends, hits very close to home.

And 2) I have a "everything is true at once" approach to canon and I think the more origin stories we make for the Doctor the funnier it is.

This era had a lot of repeating themes, ideas that showed up and we're explored in a lot of different circumstances, often with a rule of 3 aspect to it. One is themes of Empire and Exploitation. Particularly through the stenza in s11 (empire using up planets, introduced to us basically doing foxhunts for clout, but with People instead of foxes), the dalek specials, the Cybermen in s12, and Division/the timelords in flux (as well as the sontarans &co).

Within that there's the repeating motif of how by exploiting people or their beliefs for power the imperial power/bad guys sew the seeds of their destruction. From Tzim Sha using the Ux and them turning against him, to the Division being destroyed by the Ravagers, who they tried to use to get rid of the Doctor/the old universe (and the doctor and even the master going rogue in the first place). Hell even Kerblam! (I know I know) Has a version, where the AI system being used to do terrible things is the one to call the doctor for help!

Another standout are themes of breaking cycles, Ryan is estranged from his dad and was distancing himself from Graham, but they both put in the work and grow extremely close over their two seasons. He also chooses to leave the TARDIS when he realizes he's absent from his friend's lives and wants to be present. And the Doctor gets to break the cycle of exploitation that Tecteun started, when she meets a vulnerable being with mysterious power (the energy being from TPOTD) she helps it free itself, on a way she wasn't helped.

Individual character stuff:

Going again into more individual character stuff I love, I've gotta give it to Sacha Dhawan for being a fucking superb Master. His acting is bonkers amazing and he does a great job portraying the sorta huge personal crisis the master is going through, and externalizing via evil schemes. At the end of Twelves run we saw Missy try to be like the doctor, to get her friend back (and even succeed a bit) but end up dying for it. Now we come back to a master who died trying to be like the person they see as their only equal, and has discovered (wrongly) that they were never equal to begin with, that the doctor is so much more than them. So he tries to make her like him instead, and If she won't become like him and kill them both along with the rest of gallifrey, then he will become her properly this time (by body snatching), ruin her legacy, and die with her eventually (overtaking her in the same way his whole existance has now been caused/overtaken by the doctor in his eyes, because of her being the source of regeneration)

Also can we talk about the Yaz?? I've been dying to talk about Yaz!!! I love her a lot and I find her fascinating, shes probably my favorite companion based on just sheer amount of time spent Thinking about her. Her doctorification/character arc is so good

Yaz is into the travelling and saving the day lifestyle the Doctor gives her for the responsibility of it all, for feeling useful and capable and good. Her early characterization Monet's include her complaining about not having more interesting jobs as a cop because she wants responsibility, she wanted to be important and helpful (that's the entire reason she became a cop, to help people like she was helped when she was in a dark place, and she finds a better way of doing that with the Doctor). And she GETS THERE, narratively and on a character level, she spends three years on earth with her own companions! She co-pilots the TARDIS and can fly her herself! She saves the day when the master steals the doctors body! And most of all SHES EXTREMELY SAD AT THE END BECAUSE THE PERSON SHE LOVES DIED BEFORE HER!! JUST LIKE THE DOCTOR !! (ugly crying) (I could write a whole other post about thasmin, good and bad, but a lot of people have put it better than me)

Also, I'm a big TARDIS girlie, she has somehow ended up being one of my favorite characters in doctor who, and the chinball era does so much fun stuff with the TARDIS!! Different writers take different approaches to the TARDIS, and how alive vs inanimate, or how active vs passive she is. I think the Chinball era had something special in terms of the way the TARDIS was depicted, and I loved it a lot. We never really get to see past the control room but it's a gorgeous control room! And throughout the era the TARDIS just feels so alive, it's always humming and beeping and chirping, I especially love the moments when the lights change color to match the doctors mood (mostly to blue, for sadness, sometimes red to yell at that dalek that one time). And speaking of the doctor, starting with ghost monument thirteen has a bunch of sweet moments of banter or just ~emotions~ with the TARDIS. I genuinely teared up a bit when she entrusted the timeless child memories to the TARDIS,and before her regeneration speech when she asked the TARDIS to look after her. Because who can she trust with her past AND her future except her oldest truest friend.

I could add a lot more of specific things from the era I love (solitract my beloved) but I think this is getting long enough as is lol.

[nczaversnick]

WIP Questionnaire Tag

Thanks to @honeybewrites for the tag!

Rules: Answer the questions about a WIP!

These are for Project Gemini, with my answers in green and Rachelles in purple :)8

What's the first part of your WIP that you created?

For me, that would be Gemini. Or his concept anyway. A person with both fire and ice powers. Everything else was built around this one idea.

Uhh.. There aren't any parts I necessarily *created*, but more like added on. I've been here since the beginning. (We don't talk about the previous draft before I came into the picture) (Also, SIKE, I LIED. I created loveable Mason.)

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I'm not sure what I would go with, but off the very top of my head, I’d say the chorus in From Now On in the The Greatest Showman

Oooo, definitely Run by Iron Kid

What are your favorite characters you've made? Why?

Oh, definitely Adrian. He was originally the main character, so I developed his character way before I got to anyone else. He's the only one who didn't get replaced when I revamped everything a few years back.

I'm Adrian biased always, but I think I'm starting to have a bit of a soft spot for Mason and Iris - mainly because I don't know them that well, and that's a perfect start for me falling in love with them.

What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

Definitely the Lunar Chronicles. Probably Arc of a Scythe, too. Both series showed me how much I can do with multiple POVs to tell a story, but both are about revolutions and fighting for what is right

I don't think I understand this question

I hope they share sick animatics. That would be cool as Hell.

How do characters travel/get around?

Generally speaking, magneticlly powered trains and cars are the main transportation in the city

OH SHIT an underground rat maze in the sewers throughout the city would be sick af.

They mainly walk. Gotta keep hidden, ya know?

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

I am currently trying to turn an outline into actual scenes. But I don't write like…whole chapters. I tend to write small snippets in random spots until there's enough to start trying to connect them

I'm constantly fluctuating between fixing what I've already worked on and continuing off from when someone gets their shit rocked for no reason (there's a reason, but it's a dumb reason)

What aspects/tropes do you think will draw your audience in?

I mean, who wouldn't love a dystopian lead by a found family of queer people?

Injustice and angsty slow burns.

What are your hopes for your WIP?

I have always wanted to publish this. Because I do actually want to be a published author, I enjoy writing and sharing stories with people, especially one so personal to me. A very longshot hope I have is that I'd love to see this made into a tv show, though I'd go 2D animation, not live action.

I obviously want to make something I'm proud of working on, but also use as a learning experience for my own projects. (I'm an entirely separate entity and *not* a growth from N.C.‘s brain)

Tagging: @wyked-ao3 @the-golden-comet @fractured-shield @theverumproject @the-letterbox-archives @ath3alin +open tag :)8

[womaninwinter]

For the rosary fic (my beloved): 11, 16, 20

For The Intruder: 7, 12

And 8 and the wild card question for whatever fic(s) you desperately want to talk about

aaaayyy bestie, you're predictable (we love that for you)

11. Was there a scene that you hadn't originally planned to include? Why did you decide to fit it in?

Bold of you to assume I planned this. Lol, okay, I do have a plan for the rosary fic, but I did not really have one when I started. I didn't intend for it to be so damn long for one thing. It was supposed to be like 4 chapters, one for each set of decades. So the decision to write one chapter per decade for the sorrowful mysteries (and maybe also the mysteries of light??) was totally unplanned. But I decided to do it because the Hollow Boy arc just couldn't be compressed into one chapter, there's too much of Lockwood's perspective there that needs to be unpacked. And also, as I was writing, I realised I wanted to explore Lockwood's journey to the Faith, so that definitely required more space. Another unplanned scene was Lucy's visit to St James' church. I added that in because I really felt that she grasped the idea of the rosary too quickly and more context was needed.

16. What was the easiest scene to write?

It's been so long that I don't remember, but I think the opening chapter was something I knocked out in an hour. The idea came and it flowed. The rest has taken more work, as the themes I'm weaving in have become more and more complicated.

20. What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?

I think people are actually pretty good at noticing the stuff I'm proud of in this fic. Catholicism is overthinker central after all. I can't think of anything that's gone under the radar.

For The Intruder, I've answered 7 here.

12. Was there a scene you wished you could have included? Why didn't it fit in?

I think so far I've managed to fit in everything that I wanted to do, although it remains to be seen if that will continue to be the case. I did have a scene where Holly checks Altwood's injuries, but I cut it because I didn't like it and it wasn't really conveying anything new about the characters. So no is the answer to this one I'm afraid. In general I don't cut a whole lot because I tend to draft in my head.

For a fic I'd like to talk about, I'm going to pick Gutted, because I haven't been asked anything about that yet.

8. What inspired the title for this fic? Is that usually how you choose titles?

I like my fics to have punchy, memorable titles as a general rule (this is why I try to avoid song-lyric titles, and also because I'm a snob). I also love a good double meaning, so Gutted ticked all these boxes. It reflects the physical event (Lockwood getting impaled on a metal spike) and the emotional ramifications — "Gutted" being slang for "bitterly disappointed or upset" in UK English. As for inspiration, it just kind of came to me in a flash: I was turning over possible titles in my head and this occurred to me and I was like, yep, that's it.

26. Wild Card! I'll tell you a fun fact about this fic!

Fun fact: as soon as I'm asked for a fact, I forget all the knowledge I've ever contained. Anyway, here is a sort of fun fact about Gutted? I was in a very rough place mentally when I wrote the first chapter (as is probably obvious to anyone who's read it lol), and I was feeling very bad about writing fic in general actually (something I have since gotten over, again obviously), and I deleted it, and my whole AO3 account, shortly after posting. Then I calmed down a bit, and retrieved the deleted version, remade the account and posted it again, along with chapter two. So, for anyone that remembers back that far, that's why my fic vanished for a while and then came back.

🎬 Behind-the-Scenes Fic Asks 🎬

[mobolanz]

AOT OC Show and Tell Days - Day 1: basic introductions

Name: Evelyn Marianne Auroré

Gender: Female

Age in setting: not thought out yet since I'm contemplating if to age up the characters for the storyline actually considering I'm finally laying it out (most likely yes) but I'm not sure on how many years. 🤧

Suggestions welcome 😵‍💫

Bold all of the following that apply to your OC!

Context: Canon Setting | Modern AU | Other AU

What niche does your OC serve for you?:

Self-insert | Completely original character | Self-shipping (in the projecting sense xD) | Roleplaying | Writing fics | Creating art | Only the scenarios and adventures that I imagine inside my head and share with no one! get fucked I ain't creating shit | Something else

A Bit More:

If your character is in the AOT canon setting, what's their allegiance?

Survey Corps | Military Police | Marleyan | Warriors | etc.

Do you ship your character with a canon character? If so, who?

She understands my Reiner love almost better than I do oml 🤧🤧🤧

Do you have any cute art or picrews of them together? Let's see one:

Not pictured is a light brushing with a surprising delicacy of her bangs to the side as he bends a bit to kiss her tenderly on the forehead no I totally didn't come up with this while typing wdym 🤭🤧(⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)✨✨✨

Obligatory fake screencap to give her a clearer image in my head for the scenarios since my choice to redesign her came during lasting artblock aofjakkfkakf

I'm planning to make another one for WIT's style based on something I'll mention later in the post!😆😆

For most part here's a rought draft . But also considering her design is for s4 I might create a special pre-timeskip look for that since it's set there.

Character Creation:

How long have you actively been developing your OC?:

As an Aot oc? March 2022. As an overall character? … took a good while since August 2019, jumped between… *counts fingers* 5 different fanbases, nothing came of any of these, all her ships were one dimensional unconvincing shallow and dull. Yet when I tried here, a wave of inspiration hit me like a comet D: 💫

Her hair was fucking blue aodjqidjakdjajkw

Is there any significance behind your OCs name?:

Glad you asked! :D I have this reaching and overextensive research for the meaning & how it ties to the whole character story&arc

Evelyn (driven from Eve,if I added the meta behind this it'd reach the tumblr word limit if there is any) : desired (ahhh ahaah…(⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠). Also has some fairytale motif not as deep but alfjakdka.) , life (self explanatory :"). )

Marianne: (driven from Maria, also actually what my own name & my 2nd favourite oc's name is driven from🤭)- star, grace. I mostly only added it after making her an aot oc, but a middle name would be a fancy addition right? :D😆😆

Auroré - driven from aurora meaning dawn(& familial ties with another oc of mine themed after Northern lights).

Plus.... fitting for her hair color.! :D

Combine her first and last name and it's sounding like: life's (graceful) dawn.

Which has a coincidental similarly to the last episode of s4 part 2 (the dawn of humanity)

If your OCs appearance is based on yours, do they have any different features?:

No not really, I just unironically want this look and think it's gorgeous. Blood-red hair and everything (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

Is there anything you want to try doing with your OC that you haven't yet? (ex RPing, art, fics, etc):

I'm actually finally writing the full first meeting oneshot nowadays! As of now it was just brain-dump scenarios connecting (somehow that alone ended up being 2k wth) xD. I've also been more openly brainstorming about it so I'm opening up to questions!:D

Also on an art note, I actually kept on the side a DIY nendoroid figure I'm planning to turn into her 😆😆😆

For him <3

[vitalphenomena]

ORIGIN STORIES: i've been asked a few times recently where the ideas for my characters came from, so i thought it'd compile a list.

burns, harris, juniper, burns, lila came about when i was in the third grade, reading maximum ride, enjoying x-m.en: fir.st clas.s and knew a kid named burns and thought, what if a kid named burns could control fire? i ended up writing spirit on a forum (following similar line of thought as the burns naming convention) and needed a reason for her to be alone, so i kind of built harris's personality around the need for spirit to be abandoned, and the other personalities came after that.

alex haven came about because [we @bluedprints already had theo] ezra haven said, and i quote, 'wanna get you fucking pregnant again' whilst having sex with spirit haven after their first couple's therapy session following ezra's unfaithfulness.

davy actually came about before second gen was a thing. i wanted to give juni a baby and wouldn't it just be crazy if @jupiter3's flynn was the father? then phoebe came about as we just kept adding to second gen and realized that juni/sam/flynn would have also had juni/sam kids

beck came about because i wanted more labkids one day because i was bored. @bluedprints and dax basically created the narrative of labkids with a vendetta against harris harris. tonje, dana, charlotte, river, and noel's ocs came first, then i made beck bc i felt left out

shipley (now written by @corsey) was the villain in the first spirit novel i tried to write. i knew he came from a cult, and i knew he also needed to be from a cult that no longer existed and that he was delusionally trying to continue doing the work of, so i came up with mackenzie, cass, and jm (the last of which now written by @jupiter3) to destroy the cult. i was ~losing my religion~ at the time so obviously i had to be edgy and say something about baptism and evangelical christianity as well. i ended up with elijah/shipley/mack as one triad and the throuple as another because trinities.

rachel is another product of the second gen baby boom.

rose was one of my first ocs affiliated with @bluedprints henry. we wanted siblings, we wanted sharp emotional contrast, we ended up sticking them in knight based on an idea tonje had about cult siblings that she fleshed out and invited me into

naomi is a product of the baby boom and also, doesn't rose with two beautiful baby girls and a loving husband just make sense for her arc?

graham is a product of the baby boom because @bluedprints' henry needs just one nice thing: his beautiful boys who were damaged and lost before henry.

kieran and cain came about as characters in the second version of spirit's novel. i needed a cult leader and i needed a right hand man. and then they just blossomed from there!

gabriela came about because i always knew comphet compelled cain to have sex with women during orgies in glass and second gen had a bit of a baby boom.

cullen came about because we needed some villains in second gen. naturally i made him kieran's son and the guy from you. instead, we have wife guy cullen glass (who also kills ezra haven)

alessandra came about to be an affiliated oc with @midcenturies' belén, daughter of the remarkable beatríz.

maryanne came about as an affiliated oc with @midcenturies @jupiter3 @corsey after we watched h.ustlers and wanted to engage with themes like femininity, feminism, sexuality, sexism, sex work, dubious ethics and morality, and modern survival.

adrien, kai-ming, kennedy, noah, esther, rian, jeremy, rian, and hassan were created for @bluedprints' archetype. i wanted to explore some of the same themes of surrealism and horror and obsessive artistry. i started to develop different ideas for artists/creators, their struggles, and their role in our plot.

olivia came about because of a plot i'm doing with @gildedlife coming up shortly that i'm super excited about!

hanna, veronica, and bianca came about bc @bluedprints and i wanted to give cassius and ezra some new york friends to have sloppy sex with on a regular basis. bianca specifically came about to be one of the many mothers to edwin's many children

mercutio came about bc tonje held a gun to my head and made me.

felicity came about because tonje and i put cassius through the ringer and he needed a respite. he needed the love of a good woman.

amelia came about bc i wanted felicity to have a daughter to raise with cassius :) and being a single mother before cassius made sense for her character development.

joe was created in a rp group because a) needed older skewing chars b) needed less grimy service industry rats in bands c) needed a normal guy on account of there being a werewolf waffle house

isla came about because we wanted a) california ocs for theo to interact with when they went to ucla and b) i wanted affiliated band ocs for a band called burger kink. isaac and clara followed, the former bc i wanted to give theo a sugar daddy, the latter bc i needed more evil women on my roster

elizabeth "busy" is @jupiter3's creation!

samuel came about because busy is edwin miles' (@bluedprints) oopsie daisy. aka he got her pregnant then fumbled her. yes.

rhea came about because i was watching real housewives and started thinking about people in the tourism industry having to deal with obnoxious rich people. i was further inspired by the flor.ida proje.ct

weston came about in an rp group created by @jupiter3 and others who aren't active on tumblr rn. basically they gave me a template for a final/slasher survivor and he just came about from that.

louis was an idea i had admittedly based heavily heavily heavily on an old ex who worked in restaurants with me and was putting off leaving our college town to pursue his masters.

maxwell is a product of the baby boom after we came up with the houlou ship @jupiter3

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Did you catch the darklina theme playing when The darkling remembers his first kiss with Alina then Alina kills him? If you haven't it's this motif that plays which has some very somber slow violin that sounds tragically romantic. In Fact as weird as this sounds the violins almost sound inverted,if that even makes any sense. I first heard it at the fountain scene in season 1 specifically when Aleks said "you and I are going to change the world Alina" and you can hear it in the background. Then you can hear it more erupt when they start kissing on the desk in ep 5. Before the 2nd season aired I listened to the OST and I was obsessed with the track titled 'Let me be your Monster'. At around 1:53 you can hear the same theme being played and I immediately told myself that it was a scene of them probably kissing because it's literally their theme but then it abruptly pauses with one violin string being played for almost 20secs. It then builds up and carries on the theme then with an added trombone or something in the background then it's gets lower and lower until it ends with a sad violin ravka theme being played. I then thought it was probably the darkling dying. I came to a realisation that it could be Alina pulling a Jon snow on him. Imagine my surprise when it turns out I was right both times 😭 Anyway you probably already knew about the music but I wanted to share some thoughts on it and my personal experience trying to guess what was happening in this scene 😂 I'm kind of new to the grishaverse and I finished season one 3 weeks before the new season dropped so I was kind of obsessing. I wanted to know what you think of their theme? It gives me a James bond feel and I love it. Sounds almost like a 'What could have been' theme. It also feels very Romeo and Juliet-esque if that makes sense.

(P.S.) I also realised there is a motif that's played when Alina uses the shadow cut in the finale of S2 that is the same as when the darkling uses the shadow cut for the first time in S1 ep2 in the show. The track is called 'Rise and fall" on the S2 OST and it starts around 2:20 and it ends around 3:10(just some more parallels I've noticed with the darkling and Alina from season 1 to season 2).

Ok I love everything you said here. I also love the darklina theme so much, after season aired I played it pretty much non stop. Fun fact the original theme that was played in season 1 is titled 'Hope For The Future'. I also thought this was a very fitting title as this was very much what Alina represented to Aleks, but also it was what Alina saw in Aleks, she too at a time believed that they could bring hope to ravka together. Another fun fact is that there are actually two versions of this theme, on that was officially released and another unreleased version. The officially released one is the one that plays during the fountain scene and their first kiss and the unreleased on plays when they kiss on the desk in 1x05.

The officially released one, Hope For The Future, is much softer than the unreleased one. What I love about the Hope For The Future theme is that it starts out almost tentative, its slow and there are pauses. But then as the piece goes on the pace picks up and the chords are stronger and the music begins to swell so that it sounds uplifting. What I love about it is it mirrors Alina's character arc, when she first meets Aleks and comes to the LP she is very unsure of herself and her powers and still very much sees herself as the stick from Keramzin, but then he shows her who she truly is, shows her that she is grisha and powerful. So by the time you get to the point where they are sharing their first kiss in 1x05 she is a much more confident person who has more faith in herself and the music matches that.

It's a similar idea with Aleks, at first I think he was very tentative about his feelings for her, he has lost many a lover and so I don't think he wanted to open his heart up to more heartbreak despite feeling the connection between. Before Alina I think he was a very isolated and lonely man. But again by that first kiss he is letting her in more and is once again letting hope into his heart and believing for the first time in hundreds of years that he may find peace and that they may be able to save the grisha.

When it comes to the unreleased version that plays during their desk kiss it is a bit different. Whilst it carries the same tune or melody it sounds to me alot more passionate if that makes sense. The music swells much quicker and to me there also almost seems to be an ache or desperation behind those swells. There is a brief moment in the middle of the song where it slows and quietens, its the moment when Aleks asks if she is sure, then the music swells again as they kiss once more. For me this piece followed their passion in the scene and it also really captures that longing and ache they feel for each other. But also there is something euphoric about the piece.

When it comes to 'Let Me Be You Monster' what is interesting is the part that is the darklina theme, I am pretty sure is actually the unreleased version and not the Hope For The Future one from their first kiss. So they've taken footage of their first kiss but played the theme from their desk kiss over it.

Like you I listened to the soundtrack before season 2's release and become obsessed with this particular piece. I also upon realising it was the darklina theme thought it might be a kiss scene, I predicted that it would be the chapel scene form book 2 as the beginning part of the song sounds very menacing and dangerous and then it shifts into the darklina theme. So I thought the beginning part was going to be Alina and co running from the nichevo'ya and then the darklina theme the moment when she kisses him and uses his powers against him. But then I heard the part at the very end where it sounds very similar to the noise they use for the fold, like this pained cry, it played in the background during the fountain scene in 1x04 when Alina was telling the story about the black heretic and the creation of the fold. To me though the way these notes were drifting off in the song made me think of a dying cry. That's when I started wondering if it was actually Aleks' death scene. We know now that the menacing start to the song was the nichevo'ya attacking Alina and her realising, from the way Aleks lunged out as if to catch it and pull it back, that he didn't have control over them.

Something else that is interesting is that on the season 2 soundtrack there is another track called Hope For The Future, it plays over Aleks' funeral and you can here that first kiss theme in it but it is much slower, like they've dragged each note out which really made me think about how long a life Aleks had, like each stretched out note is symbolic of the hundreds of long lifetimes Aleks has endured. The track is also very sombre and sad, there are no uplifting swells really and it is much more muted, it very much sounded like a lament.

Good catch on the motif playing when Alina uses the shadow cut being the same as when the darkling does, I did not catch that myself.

[waywardsalt]

I am humbly requesting your thoughts on Linebeck

Oh I have a LOT of thoughts on Linebeck but I'll try to just get some major points down bc it would take me ages to spill all of my thoughts on him.

(plus i do have two general headcanon posts [ 1 2 ] a post abt headcanons about him being autistic [ x ] and a weird post about his coat [ x ] as well as pretty much anything in my linebeck tag with my excessive tagging of some reblogs and my original posts + whatever writing or fanfiction i have done/will do with him included so. bonus reading for headcanon-y stuff or a look at how i portray him)

added a read more bc this is long bc of course it is :) i hope it's in the right spot :)))

Linebeck is... a good fucking character. He's probably my favorite character period, and has been pretty much soon after I got Phantom Hourglass. He feels unique compared to other Zelda characters as a companion character who offers less direct support and is more just of a constant character who changes throughout the course of the story and is... well, a companion, not really a helper. He falls more in line with the types of loz characters who are more rude or antagonistic towards Link, but develops out of that, and also technically counts not only as a boss but a final boss, putting him as the only non-villain character to be a final boss, so uh good for him.

Just within the context of the games he's got a great design and a great theme (which is only heard about two times before the final boss but has a recognizable enough motif for it to be noticed in the final boss theme) and an interesting role in his game and just has one of the best character arcs and one of the most interesting places within the story as a whole. Linebeck's arc is very... natural in how you see his attitude change within both story beats and in his overworld dialogue, but at the same time seems like it stutters when he deals with Ciela's criticism and upholding his own reputation, I think his character arc is very fascinating if you consider the entire context of his character and what he interacts with, since a majority of the characters he directly interacts with seem to deny the idea that he's any more than a useless coward.

The fact that pretty much the rest of the major cast in Phantom Hourglass has basically no faith or respect for Linebeck is so fucking fascinating to me. This guy has to be doing so fucking bad over the course of the game. In relation to Ciela specifically, an idea I've been thinking of and trying to work into some of my Phantom Hourglass oneshots is that having to be around and interact with her so frequently wears Linebeck down pretty badly as the game goes on.

This guy is undeniably mentally ill and that's also something I have a specific fic planned out for but that's probably not going to see the light of day for a while. It's basically five chapters of Oshus being Linebeck's therapist or something each time Link goes to the Temple of the Ocean King.

I particularly enjoy how the game (at least twice) plays with your expecting him to be at the ship all of the time by having him be in a different spot on an island. His dialogue for islands and his overseas dialogue are fun, it gives off a sense that he much prefers exploring and is a bit less guarded overseas. His dialogue during the ghost ship fight is ESPECIALLY fantastic, the specific line of 'I'm fighting right there with you this time, kid!' not only offers some very interesting insight to his attitude towards link and his own role, but kind of also stings when considering the events of the final boss and is also a quote I took a screenshot of while reading the text dump for this game.

Phantom Hourglass is by no means an exceptional game and while the story is fine it's nothing fantastic and even most of the characters are... ok, but Linebeck is without a doubt the best part of this game and I really feel like he's the main reason why people still give this game a chance and despite everything he's easily one of the best characters in the entire series even if his game isn't one of the better ones. He honest to god steals every scene he's in, even if he barely has any dialogue- he's animated with such distinct personality and I love it. He doesn't speak at all until the end of the spirit of courage scene and yet is so fucking distracting with his fruity fucking posing and movements in reaction to what's going on.

I'm also personally a fan of the near-complete lack of backstory we get for him. The most we get is some vague implications but everyone can read the given information in different ways so it's really not much. Phantom Hourglass's general lack of lore is great for me since I can just fill in the blanks however I want. I kinda honestly don't want Nintendo to revisit this game because I don't really want them to add anything new. Just port it or something don't change it.

That's about it for surface-level specific-to-the-games Linebeck talk... on to everything else.

Linebeck is literally the reason why I found out I was autistic. I wrote this loser and realized I was accidentally making him kinda autistic and THEN realized I was also projecting and then decided to look into that. He's fun to write and he always ends up a little out of character and at this point I barely give a damn because this bastard is masking or keeping up a facade or whatever the fuck in most of his scenes anyways. Linebeck's arc feels to me more about him being most honest and open to and about his own emotions and actual personality so honestly writing him a bit out of character doesn't bother me too much.

He's my favorite little guy, and when I plan out Zelda aus he always gets a major role to the point where a lot of the twists to my aus all end up being similar. For a few of them I've had to forcibly alter his role so that I can't include him constantly. He's very interesting for different kinds of aus because he's an interesting character for different concepts and situations. His relationships with characters in Phantom Hourglass lend well to au stuff; specifically with Link, in one au they're adoptive brothers, in one they're something akin to rivals, in one their mutual fixation on each other propels the plot. I've even expanded on interactions and possible dynamics with Bellum in aus (Bellum is honestly fun since he's kind of a blank slate in canon but there's just enough there to build off of but keep it relatively the same original character).

I have a few ocs that used to be au versions of Linebeck that ended up becoming their own thing because the aus in question worked better as original stories.

With Phantom Hourglass-centric ideas, it's a lot of fun to poke around and explore stuff with Linebeck's past, his mental state, the kinds of things he enjoys or hates, pretty much anything the game doesn't elaborate on. With all of that blank space and the fact that I've known about him for a few years now, I've gotten down a whole backstory and deeper details on Linebeck, most of which I'm probably going to end up expressing through writing.

Just a few of the baseline ones are just along the lines of him being gay, autistic, touch-averse, intersex, a cat person, someone who highly values his freedom, half Gerudo, interested in music- some of it can be supported with canon (he really comes off to me like a closeted gay man, and he does have some generally autistic vibes) and some of it is really just for the hell of it (in particular the idea that he’s of Gerudo descent has no backing but is so interesting for story stuff and is generally fun) (I also enjoy ignoring parts of canon. I have not played Spirit Tracks and I do not want to play it so if I don't look at it I can ignore it).

I have a lot of fun fleshing him out in different aus or in scenarios before or after Phantom Hourglass, since there's just enough there to allow for further reasonable exploration, and his being just some normal guy actually helps with that since it forces you to keep things relatively normal and comparable to kinds of things you can experience in your day-to-day. I've more or less figured out a (mostly) full backstory for him, I've decided on a full physical description of how he looks so that I have a baseline if I want to change stuff in an au or just so that I know how I figure he looks as well as have an idea of how some physical traits can lend themselves to other aspects of how I write and portray him (for example, I figure he has long fingers, which goes right with the idea that he enjoys music and is pretty good on a piano, and also that he's good with tasks that might require a bit more finger dexterity as well as generally helping a bit with pick-pocketing or thievery)

I figure that, along with the general idea I have of him valuing his freedom, he's not particularly interested in following rules or laws and hates seeing too many of them put in place, and especially values his own identity even if he doesn't express it as much as he'd like. He likes being able to go wherever he'd like and he likes being able to do what he wants and express himself how he wants and that stuff gets bogged down when he plays into that image of someone he's not that he hides behind and doubles down on in a good bit of Phantom Hourglass.

Linebeck is fun in general he's a good character he's fun for aus he's got enough groundwork to spend ages pouring into possible avenues for his personality and background and whatever potential he could have in different aus or roles. He's surprisingly fun and interesting to use as an antagonist since you can't fall back on easy villain-writing ideas and have to get a bit more creative with it.

I think I struggle to write him in-character but it's backed up a bit by my specific interpretation of him suggesting that a lot of what you see from him is forced or fake. I still think he's a greedy piece of shit, though. He sucks and it's on purpose. I lean into him being rude and cold and a bit quieter overall.

He just... for some fucking reason when I decided to play this game Linebeck struck a chord with me whether or not I realized it at the time so he's just very interesting and entertaining and important to me and it really doesn't help that either Phantom Hourglass as a whole or just Linebeck is my special interest.

Linebeck stands out in comparison to other Zelda characters and has a very unique and fascinating role and arc and is just so fucking good.

He feels like he could be used as an example of how good character writing can save a piece of art (not that ph sucks but like. god damn he elevates it) just because his inclusion makes the story more interesting as you have this selfish asshole tagging along next to your little goody-two-shoes protagonist and fairy friend, and his arc, though not entirely the focus of the story, is another reason to keep progressing. His dialogue is funny and has some really good in-character tips every so often, he adds character to traversal and adds stakes as a character to care about and protect and is just fucking fantastic.

He's a character that can work as comedic relief but at the same time can be taken very seriously and I really enjoy that while he seems to be in the role of comedic relief a lot it never seems much like it's diegetically intentional and it still allows room for him to be taken completely seriously. Him knocking over stone Tetra is funny but there's so much character in that entire string of animations that while it's a fun background gag it also provides even more insight into Linebeck as a character.

Essentially he's my favorite character ever he was probably my gay awakening and I want to steal his gender and I think about him more than I think about my ocs.

[haleigh-sloth]

I know Horikoshi has made quite a few references to Greek mythology so I assume he enjoys it, but do you think he has it will reference any actual tales or just characters/dieties? Like I know Gigantimachia is a reference to the war between the giants and the gods, but I don't think anything with him parallels the actual tale.

I will be honest with you, I don't know much about Greek mythology or the references he's made.

I will say I noticed that he made AFO damn near look like a greek marble statue, and I've heard some talk about the temporary dorms being called "Troy", and stuff like that, and then Icarus which I'm a tiny bit more versed on (but not by much tbh), but I really don't know much beyond what I've read here and there.

What I CAN comment on and give opinion on, is his references to other materials/stories in general, and comment on the topic of him copying those tales. I feel the same would apply to any Greek mythology references he makes anyway.

He references a lot of things: Icarus with Hawks, Frankenstein with Touya and Enji, Akira with Shigaraki.

I don't think that him referencing something indicates the direction of someone's arc.

The story of Frankenstein and his monster with Touya and Enji, well, I don't see any indication that Touya's and Enji's, and compiled with that--Shouto's--stories will end like Mary Shelley's book. Way too grim, devastating, DARK, doesn't fit the themes of BNHA, and doesn't even make sense for their arcs. But the references are there with Touya’s stitched up design, Enji trying to play god in a way, and then the type of feelings Touya holds toward his dad and how he goes about it. But the Todorokis aren't geared up for devastation in this story. With the things Endeavor is vowing to do, and what Shouto wants, and what Touya wants (his family), I see nothing that makes sense but a happy ending.

Icarus with Hawks--the one who flew too close to the sun, in this case the sun being Endeavor. We get artistic choices like this:

Hawks's early set-up was geared for tragedy. Lots of people used not only his writing, but his reference to Icarus to predict certain things for his character. A lot of it still holds up--I do think he'll get burned by Endeavor (the sun) given the way recent chapters have developed, but ending in a heroic death I just don't see being in the cards anymore. Whether that was the author backing out, or us just jumping the gun on that, idk. But Hawks is pretty solid proof that just because he references something, doesn't mean it'll go that way.

And then Shigaraki with Akira. Idk much about Akira, or the character being referenced--Tetsuo. I read a brief synopsis of what his ending was like, and yikes. There's no way Tomura ends the same way, there's no set up for it, there's not any reason for it. Not to mention it would completely just kill the story's message if Tomura disappeared like Tetsuo. Soooo, yeah, more solid evidence to suggest that just referencing something does not indicate the ending we're heading toward.

Imo the way he uses references is just to put certain ideas in readers' heads. Frankenstein being used for Enji/Touya to show how intense the feelings are in that situation and how intense the rejection Touya is feeling. But not an indicator of the ending. Icarus to show that Hawks will indeed try to get too close to the sun (Endeavor)--take his purpose of being a hero to the extreme (in the name of helping Endeavor, something Endeavor never asked for nor wanted from Hawks)--and eventually get burned, but ultimately everything points more to him being fine in the end. Akira references for the same reason, putting an idea about Tomura's character/thoughts/feelings in the reader's head, but that's it.

If there is any type of ending Horikoshi is going to "copy", it's going to be the ending to his own original work "Tenko", where it ends with the hero saving Tenko, standing up for him, and it ends with them forming a bond and heading off to go on adventures and stuff. In fact I'm fairly certain he WILL copy that ending, with a lot of added stuff given that this story is much more rich and full of different stuff that the one shot obviously didn't have.

[crisp-sweet-pink-lady]

Summer of Strawberry Shortcake: Across the Berryverse

Since I've already said a lot about Berry in the Big City over the past year, I'm not going to give it its own post, and instead wrap up my rewatch series with a look at all four versions of the franchise at the same time and what I've gleaned from watching them all in row like this.

Mostly I want to talk about how each version has a different main focus, the theme that really makes the show tick. The original specials were made first and foremost to sell toys and other merchandise, and that is built into each special's DNA. The plots are dictated by what was new to the toyline, and once a character has served their purpose to the plot, they are relegated to just being part of the crowd (especially in the Nelvana series), saying lines that need to be said and going through the motions of things that need to be done because the plot calls for them, not because it's in their character to do so.

SSC03's backbone is Friendship. Most of the plots revolve around making new friends, being a good friend, how friends patch up their differences. Back when the series was first coming out, that was one of my gripes against it, that everyone had to be friends, that Strawberry wouldn't rest until all her friends were friends with each other. And while all the other versions are about friendship, too, none of them run on it the way that SSC03 does. Berry Bitty Adventures has a similar focus, but its theme is Community. When problems arise, it almost always effects the whole community, not just the girls in Berry Bitty City, but the Berrykins, the ladybugs, the bees, and so on. The girls don't just have places to live, they have places of business. When a new main character was added to the series, they had to have a place in the community (see Cherry Jam's arc in the first half of season two), and Lemon even tried to leave when her place was taken by a machine. Yes, the girls are all friends, but they're also a community.

As for Berry in the Big City, after watching two seasons, I think it's safe to say that its focus is inclusion. Main characters, side characters, even background characters reflect the world around us with racial diversity, different body types (a big deal in such a doll-dominated franchise), LGBTQ characters, and as of season two, even characters who are trans and nonbinary. The show may have a more comedic tone than any of its predecessors, but at its heart is a main character who comes out on top because she never lets anyone's differences keep her from trying to make them her friend.

One more thing I want to mention real quick is that while other characters may have fundamental changes from version to version, all of the different versions of Strawberry share certain qualities: a sunny disposition, being a fantastic baker, unflagging optimism (though they do get discouraged from time to time), an unwavering loyalty to their friends, and a touch (sometimes more) of spunk. These are immutable qualities of Strawberryness, and probably why the character has managed to endure for four generations.

[iron-touch]

Author's Notes: Chapter 32 (The Man in the Picture)

Yay, another chapter with a short turnaround! Don't expect this trend to continue, as I have just enrolled in full time college again and am still getting used to it.

I was very cautious with the opening of Michelle in the changing room. That scene could get very, very creepy with the wrong prose, but I think I managed to make it more endearing than "male gazey."

Speaking of male gaze, Boney! Boney's back. My original plan for Chapter 31 was to end on the scene of Michelle seeing Boney in One Size Fits All, but I decided to change it in order to avoid feeling too similar to Chapter 18 (where the chapter ends with Michelle finding Boney's dead body on the plane). That worked out for the best, too, considering Chapter 31's length.

Reread the phone call Boney has with the Grand Marshal in Chapter 30; this is where he was sent to go. I think you should have an easier time filling in the blanks now.

Michelle having a panic attack and running away was one of the easiest I've ever written in my two years of Iron Touch. I don't know what that says about me.

Midler's back! Remember, High Priestess' user? No? Too bad. My original original outline called for Mariah here instead of Midler, and she would've walked with a gimp as a result of permanent damage she received from her fight with Joseph and Avdol. I changed this for a couple reasons: first of all, I would have had to rework/add onto Bastet in order for her to work in this arc, which I didn't think a lot of people would like. Also, Demonic Heartbreak used her already, so. Y'know. I think Midler fits better in Chicago IX as a SEES member anyways.

With that in mind, it should come as no surprise that Cascada wasn't a part of the original outline, either. High Priestess was originally going to be the "main" enemy Stand of this arc, but I changed that. I cannot stress enough that readers from Fanworks have been really rallying for more original Stands in Iron Touch. This is the best of both worlds—I get my canon characters and you get your OC. Hooray! I like Cascada and Moon River's aesthetics, if nothing else.

I did look it up and yes, bees are native to Egypt.

I feel like it should be pretty obvious what SEES is and how it works by now. If not, please let me know in some way and I can give a more detailed explanation in a future chapter.

In case you didn't know: a green room is an area backstage where actors wait for their cues to go onstage. I've heard different reasons for why they're called that; sometimes it's a simplified English pronunciation of a foreign word, other times it's because actors would throw up there, and I don't know which is accurate. They're not actually green. In smaller theaters (like an amphitheater), green rooms can double as hair and makeup rooms, like what we see here.

I feel like giving Moon River a mermaid theme is a bit of a cop out, but @simpingforcreamsoda said he really liked the design, so I hope you guys do too.

Music references:

Ok so I didn't originally intend for this to be a music reference, but there is a song called The Man in the Picture by The Bobkatz. I chose the title just based on it being a double reference to both Polnareff and Boney. But I listened to the song and I think it fits pretty well so I'm adding it to the playlist. Why not.

Cascada is named after a German dance music act of the same name. (I actually didn't know Cascada was German until now, the more you know)

Cascada's beta name was Moon River at one point, but that honestly did not last long. I'm trying to avoid making OCs with two word names, because having them be one word names is so much easier to write.

Moon River gets its name from a song originally sung by Audrey Hepburn for the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's. The song is so famous and has enough covers that I feel comfortable breaking my "no licensed music" rule (as in, no music originating from other media like video games or musicals) for it. The version I'm using on all the music reference playlists isn't the original Audrey Hepburn version, but rather the Andy Williams cover. I think that version specifically should give some insight as to why I chose this song. If you know, you know ;)

As a side note, "Tiffany Amphitheater" was named after Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Moon River's beta name was Hips Don't Lie, and the Stand's ability was going to be more tied to Cascada's dancing. As the ability changed, I changed the reference as well.

Not a music reference, but Midler's appearance here (specifically the buck teeth) were based off of Winifred Sanderson (played by Bette Midler) from the movie Hocus Pocus. IRL Midler has gone on record to say that this is her favorite film role of all time and she is the only reason that the sequel came out even remotely like it did, so I'm not just arbitrarily choosing a random movie reference here.

[icharchivist]

i feel you on being sad about ff7r, i actually loved it at first because i personally really liked a lot of things about how they expanded the midgar section of the game and i wasn't thinking too hard about how some of the plot changes might remove a bit of nuance, or the sephiroth stuff, because i was just having so much fun while i was playing. but then the ending happened and the stuff with zack on top of it and i progressively got more annoyed because i just wanted it to essentially still be the original story??

i won't go on too much about it because i don't wanna leave an essay in your inbox but i just feel like, the original game is from 1997. it certainly has its own flaws and things that might make people not wanna play it, and it deserved to be recreated in beautiful 3d graphics and brought to the attention of a newer generation of gaming fans who may not have given ff7 a second look before. i wanted people who would get into this amazing story for the first time because of the remake to get the original story, more or less, and could've overlooked some flaws with how they expanded/changed it if it was still basically the same plot! i'm still gonna play every part of the remake but the whole stealth sequel thing they're doing is such a bummer to me lol, i've already talked to a lot of my friends and family about it and strongly recommended that they play the original game even if it might be a bit dated.

🥺🥺🤝🤝

i'm glad to hear about your experience with it and relieved it was a bit of the same.

oops a bit more under the cut (no spoilers this time though! just salt.)

Honestly i'm a bit on the same ground there because i did really enjoy playing the remake, it's fun, it's dynamic, there's new quests i think are really fun and great, and i was so hyped with seeing everyone else that i was willing to give even Sephiroth a shot. tbh originally i thought it might be just straight up hallucinations that aren't motivated by Sephiroth himself, just playing on Cloud's trauma, and while we lost the subtility, i am a sucker for exploring more of Cloud's trauma and complete collapsing "This Is Fine" mental health.

I was always a bit iffy about the Specters but i did go through the game mostly happy with what i got. But yeah ultimately it's really both the conclusion of the Specters storyline and the Zack scene that left me "huh." for a while.

And honestly my reactions when the game was over was just "okay i'm not. sure what to do with it but i'll guess we'll have to wait and see."

but it's sitting on it for a few years now that really make me go, actually, i really dislike it 😭

Originally i think i wanted to go easy on the game because i was buying onto the "well maybe it's too much to expect them to do a plot that is exactly the same as the OG, they keep talking about how they don't want to redo the game 101 and i guess that's fair", but now in retrospect i'm just "... but it was advertised to be a remake. And Yuffie's DLC can show very well how they can do new things adding to the game without making it a straight up sequel. and why is ff7 having a metacommentary plotline anyway" and that's when i started to get beef about it. Like, it's shitty to punish the fans for them being mad they got sold something under false adverticizing.

The Grief theme from the OG is something i care a lot about so this was one of the first thing i started to think in depth about, and since it also meant trying to make sense of "why do i want /this/ death to happen again" it eventually made me think of the others themes i cared about the remake would not be able to follow through properly and *there* you get how i am today, fully jaded about it.

Truly the "Sephiroth locked himself in the Nibelheim Mansion" character arc. Going in with curiosity and coming out with, actually, the more i read the more i think it's too bad.

As for the second paragraph: 100%!!! Like, i've been here for 15 years and i know for a fact that recommending the OG is always met with "oh but it looks so bad" (it's stylized not bad!!! oh well), or "i can't focus without voice acting" or "but the gameplay sounds boring", which is added to how all the others entries in the series have polished graphisms to start with (even if some are early polished 3D and have clunky animation as a result, it still holds up that the more "modern" player can get into it yaknow)

and idk when you compare it to like RE2 Remake that balances remaking the old game with new graphisms and everything and then changing a couple of things either to upgrade the story or to make it more coherent with later update in the franchise.... It's kinda like the type of things we expected i guess???

And i've seen people decide to get into ff7 for the first time by the remake itself. Some people are waiting to see where the plot is going to go via the remake. And while the remake can work as a sequel if you squint, idk how i think about it being the first contact someone has with the saga. (tho i don't know how much i can criticize on that level since i started with Crisis Core, then watched Advent Children, and then i read the wiki for the OG and only played the OG years later. So i have no lesson to give on the "but you're not experiencing the ff7 saga in the right order :(" front)

I have a friend who's a game dev who also only got into ff7 via the remake, and we discussed it last time we met because he knows i'm a huge fan and he wanted my opinion as a Veteran™. Turns out, while he liked a few things from the game, there was a lot out of it that he didn't like and couldn't figure out why (except a few things he called "idk what's going on but it sounds like Nomura's fuckery", you can feel the KH veteran out of him). And the more we discussed it the more he realized that a lot of the things he really didn't vibe with were truly Remake Only Decisions. Like he didn't understand on what level Sephiroth is meant to be a legendary Antagonist while all he does is just being a generic villain who shows up early just to go "heheh i'll do evil", or complained about super long and eventless dungeons that were really just, remake only stuff. and he hated the Specters bc he kept seeing it as breaking from the immersion of the story itself and their appearance seemed to be completely separated from the main story, as if it was another story running in parallelism to the one we're going through.

On the other hand when i started to tell him how it was in the OG for instance and especially the difference in Sephiroth's writing he was nodding along like "*that* i get why it was impactful". (and he's not the type to lie about his feelings on something just to go with the opinion someone is holding, convos got heated before lmao)

So yeah like. idk. I just kinda wish they were forward about it not being a remake. and not derailling the plot of the game itself in order to make a metatextual critism on how fans demands those type of remakes and refuses to accept deviations from it.

So i'm all with you on that too 😭 i'm just so sad bc i remember in 2015 when they announced the remake being so hyped and finally feeling like the OG would be more accessible to people whom i knew at the time didn't want to bother with such an old gem game. But now i feel like it's kinda made even more inaccessible since i feel like some people would stop at the remake itself bc it's already a game that is way way bigger than the OG ever was, and it's already time consuming to start with just to have the same story told in another medium.

When Ever Crisis was announced it was supposed to be a mobile game which would actually go through the whole plot of the saga, without changing anything, but with characters's chibi, and i remember the devs using EC as a shield there like "well if you want to play the OG in good quality tune in for EC". And i didn't keep up with EC's newest news but at the time it was announced it was going to release one chapter at a time for the duration of the server, which. is such a downgrade in every front and also means you won't be able to keep the game on the long term doesn't it? and after the fiasco that was First Soldier this is even more of a dubious take.

All in all it's just, genuinely such a cynical remake and commercial approach it just makes me so sad.

so yeah i'm 100% with you on this one :(

and same i'll play the games, esp since there are still good things into them, the gameplay is enjoyable, the explorations are so fun, it's nice to see the world of the OG being given this approach! For all the stuff i would complain about there's a lot i actively like about the remake, for instance i'm so so glad we get more Aerith & Tifa scenes where they show how close friends they become (bc god the eternal shipwar pinning the girls against one another in a petty catfight was the most annoying part of the pre-remake fandom, despite the OG only ever treating them as good friends, not rivals, so the fact the remake hammers in even more "tHEY'RE!!! FRIENDS!!! STOP IT!!!" is everything to me.).

And there's stuff i think are genuinely good like, actually exploring Sector 7 and making us care about the people in it much more than the OG could prepare us for it! muah very good no note.

It just genuinely sucks that the biggest problem with ff7r is the actual core of the plotline they're going with to drive the whole story onward. Everything else goes from fine to amazing. And then this thing doesn't work for me. but since it's the most important thing of the game, it undoes everything that made me hyped to start with.

so yeah :( fully 100% with you on this one. Guess we have to push our "play the 1997 game" agenda even harder now. rip :sob:

Thank you once again for sharing <333

[irisviel101]

Oh, about that OC post? It's been a while since I've read "Kaleidoscopic" but can you talk about Kotone?

I'm mainly curious about how she came to be and when do you have the most fun writing her?

Also "Kaleidoscopic" was a blast the first time I had read it and I plan to reread it sometime soon, hopefully. ^^

Omg, omg, omg! Thank you so much! I've been dying to talk about the behind the scenes stuff for Kaleidoscopic, so be prepared for a lot of rambling. I'll try to avoid spoilers though.

Also, thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed Kaleidoscopic so much and I plan to publish a new chapter as soon as I can.

Since this ended up being so long, I decided to divide it into two parts.

1) Creation and Development

I'm not going to lie; I hadn't intended to include any OC, let alone a major one, in Kaleidoscopic. Ironic considering that Kotone is now one of my favorite OCs.

In the original draft, I only created Kotone (called Kanade back then) as a plot device to bail Masamune out during the kidnapping arc (it wasn't really an arc back then though, just something I had added for the sake of adding). Because of this, I didn't really put any thought into her character. Still, I wanted to show that despite being a plot device, Kotone was a person with a personality, which is why I had her banter with Masamune and gave an offhand mention of her as Gingka's cousin because of her red hair.

It surprised me how well-liked Kotone was, despite barely existing. The ship requests were especially astounding and back then, I had stubbornly decided that I would never write romance. Also, Kanade was ten, so that was a big no. I did mention her here and there though, but it was nothing important.

Then, almost a year later, I decided to rewrite Kaleidoscopic because I was left unsatisfied with the random plot and my lacking writing style. I knew I could do better, and I set out to use my newfound experience to improve the story. Back then, I was considering testing my boundaries in different genres, which is why I started contemplating romance. Eventually, I aged Kanade up and started to actually work on her.

I had decided her first name based on Kanade Tachibana, who had been my favorite character in Angel Beats!, a series I had recently finished. Now that she was her own character, I gave Kotone her own name, and decided on her last name to be symbol of both her affinity for snow, her theme of winter and her birthday being in February ("Kisaragi" is an old fashioned word for "February").

Now that Kotone was her own character, I started exploring her background little by little, although I had very little idea of what character arc to give her. As Kanade, she had been a young but capable agent of the WBBA. Building on that, I decided to give Kotone two major weaknesses to overcome: her overly emotional responses and her tendency to not work on her own flaws, instead telling everyone else to deal with it. But something still felt lacking and I had no idea what to do. This is why, in the beginning of the current version, Kotone is still not as present as she is in the current arcs.

As I was rereading, I noticed how hypocritical Kotone could be, and I decided to make that a flaw as well. Her strange situation as a child acting as an adult made itself apparent and the pieces fell into place. I realized that p, for all her experience, Kotone is still a child. With this epiphany, something akin to a character arc formed in my mind and I wrote down that sketch. While cross-checking my outline, I realized that despite being acknowledged as a capable agent by the characters, Kotone had very little to show for it. I had unconsciously fallen into the trap of "said to be a badass but isn't really a badass" trope, and instead of making Kotobe start out as a badass, I decided that she would end as one.

Finally, I had a character arc in mind for Kotone, one I'm building up to now. With Kotone's backstory, I also started considering her relationships with canon characters — especially characters like Gingka, Ryo, Hyoma and Ryuuga who had to be a part of her backstory — and her placement in the prequel series which will cover the events of Metal Fusion.

Kotone was a really hard character for me to write, and I remember having to create separate Google document dedicated solely to her development, but I'm satisfied with wgee she is and where she is going.

2) What I enjoy about writing her

What I enjoy the most about writing this character is a bit hard to say, considering that there are so many facets of Kotone that I have fun with. If I had to pick one though, I'd say it's her interactions with the other main characters.

Yuu and Kotone haven't had any major interactions but I have plans for them and I have also enjoyed the few snippets they have exchanged. I can't say more or I might end up spoiling stuff, but as a hint, let's just say that it has something to do with the Libra subplot.

As for Madoka, Kotone views her as an older sister of sorts. Madoka is the first major female presence in Kotone's life in a long time, so having Madoka around is a huge change for Kotone. I'm not sure where to take this relationship yet, but so far I'm enjoying writing this a lot.

What I like the most about Kotone's interactions with Gingka is that they resemble me and my siblings, so it's really fun to write. Some of their snippets are stuff that have actually happened between me and my siblings, so it's really fun to put that on paper or a Google document. I haven't had he chance to fully explore it yet, but I have plans that will hopefully see the light of day.

Tsubasa and Kotone's relationship is a typical mentor-student relationship so far. I plan to explore it more in the prequel but it also sees some spotlight during the current arc for obvious reasons. Tsubasa has more to learn from Kotone than he thinks and Kotone idolizes Tsubasa more than she realizes, but that's all I'll say on this.

Masamune and Kotone... Now we're moving on to a dangerous territory when it comes to spoilers. XD In all seriousness though, what I like the most about this relationship is that they both bring out each other's tempers and their serious sides. I think I have dropped heavy hints and even outright stated where they will end up before, so I won't say much on this, but let's just say that the current arc will be very interesting for these too.

My current plans might end up changing though, since Kotone and Kaleidoscopic as a whole, really, keeps on evolving and taking me by surprise. Not that I'm complaining.

----

Is it obvious that I've wanted to do this for a long time? Probably. Once again, thanks a lot for the ask and I'm glad you enjoyed Kaleidoscopic so much. Sorry this became so long but I just got too excited.

[ndb-123]

I posted 493 times in 2021

19 posts created (4%)

474 posts reblogged (96%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 24.9 posts.

I added 61 tags in 2021

#sanders sides - 12 posts

#dogs - 12 posts

#cats - 7 posts

#adhd - 5 posts

#food - 5 posts

#stardew valley - 5 posts

#tiktok - 4 posts

#covid - 4 posts

#covid 19 - 4 posts

#my art - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 57 characters

#i hate crab pots because i always forget where i set them

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

True ADHD friendship is letting your friend ramble about their hyperfixation, and giving them your complete attention even though you have absolutely no idea what they're talking about and you know you'll forget most of the conversation as a soon as it ends. 😂

10 notes • Posted 2021-01-19 13:01:17 GMT

#4

Trying to write with ADHD is an absolute fucking nightmare and I hate it

I wish I could just get words on paper, but I can't.

I wish I could get out of my own head and just try things out and edit later if I need to, but I can't.

I can't get past the fear of failure. The fear of wasted time and wasted words.

I've spent 2 years trying to rework the story I tried writing when I was twelve because I love the concept but I can't get anything more than a scene or two down without giving up because I'm afraid it'll be an incoherent mess like the first time.

I hate trying to write because I don't understand how it works. I know I need a character arc, a plot, and a theme, and I understand all those concepts individually but I can't put them together.

Character arc especially because I've never been able to notice it in books I've read. It's subtext and it's interpreted.

I can't interpret anything beyond the literal words on the page because that's all my brain can handle. I'm not thinking about how the characters are changing, I'm trying to keep my eyes from darting around the page so I won't have to reread sentences a million times to understand them. A chapter that takes most people half an hour to read might take me almost an hour because I can't focus on the words or grasp their meaning, and I keep having to read and reread.

These struggles made me hate reading, especially when I had to read and memorize a lot for tests at school. Nothing about the reading was enjoyable because I was so afraid of failing the tests because I might forget details or remember the wrong ones. (I tend to remember unnecessary information really easily. Great for answering trivia, horrible for literally anything else.)

So, long story short, I've ended up hating reading. Dreading reading. I refuse to try to learn from published authors because I'm afraid to waste time and energy trying to learn from and emulate something that my brain just doesn't understand.

I've tried using structures to help. Save the Cat! seemed to be a saving grace at one point because it felt like a paint-by-numbers approach. Rigid structure, exactly what I need. But even that feels too lax at times.

There's one scene in my original draft from when I was 12 that I absolutely love. A scene that I've tried to form a new story around because I feel like it has a lot of potential. The problem is that none of the characters in that scene have a clear goal. There isn't a clear goal for anyone in the majority of the draft. It's part of the reason why it's so rambling and pointless. But I don't know how to give the characters in the scene goals that make sense without feeling like they're forced.

I've tried starting with characters, which I've read time and time again is the "right way" to write, but then I worry that the characters' arcs won't lead to the scene.

I can't start the story with the scene because there's so much that needs to happen before it, and I'm not interested in writing a nonlinear narrative. At least not for this story.

I keep trying to put this story on the back burner and write something else, but every other idea I've had is an offshoot of this one. My brain won't let this story, and especially that scene concept go. I either write that or write nothing, but I have no idea how to make that scene a story of its own.

So, I'm stuck. I've been stuck for years.

I don't know if I want advice or if I just needed to rant.

I hope that if any other writers with ADHD struggle with issues like mine, you see that you're not alone. 💛

11 notes • Posted 2021-09-27 12:35:00 GMT

#3

12 notes • Posted 2021-04-21 14:15:01 GMT

#2

It's almost 3:30 in the morning. I need to sleep but I can't. Is this just insomnia or is this "I just saw media pertaining to my hyperfixation after a year (I think?) of no content and now I have so much serotonin that I can't sleep"?

22 notes • Posted 2021-08-01 07:25:37 GMT

#1

I'm a girl in the same way a platypus is a mammal. I mean if you wanna get really nitpicky, you're right, but there's a lot of other stuff going on here that doesn't fit that, and neither of us has the time or energy to explain it.

55 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 15:58:46 GMT

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