#like the only time ill ever tag roy bc what is this guy doing

[pup-pee]

roy put that box on ur head

nice teen titans((1996)) #37

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[hhuta]

TAG GAME: you’re starring in a movie with the last person you saved in your camera roll and the last song you listened to is the title. who/what is it?

tagged by @galaxymagick​

but this is only fun if i create the story of the movie so

this post could be very short (meaning it wont be). the movie could just be la legende du roi arthur but then i would have to cheat on my king and i would never do that rip to guenievre but im different so ill write something better

lets forget LLDRA bc i would have to change many things to fix it lets focus on the picture for the plot like i did with rebeccas story

and i already regret this bc its from the mor concert. so that man is evil hetero salieri. my worst nightmare.

so its a horror movie.

ok so the plot is about a mor revival. a new production is about to happen. me? im the producer or director or whoever gets to make decisions bc i bring back the original l'assasymphonie blocking, i get the whole original cast to perform once again, its all going great

but dont forget its a horror movie

its the opening night of the revival and everything is going as planned till the end of the first act. the second one begins and everyone is laughing haha trop de notes says rosenberg 🤪 and then lbqfm begins. something is off. but i brush it off thinking im just being paranoid.

now its time for l'assasymphonie and why is salieri so angry?? this was supposed to be my big win.. the half naked blindfolded men are back but salieri just keeps swinging the knife around like a crazy man??? what is going on??

u guys are in a crisis. im on my way.

i need to find florent and slap some sense into him before he has to go back on stage for victime de ma victoire but i cant find him anywhere backstage. no one knows where he is. its time for his song and he shows up crazier than ever scaring all the dancers. the scene is over and he disappears in the middle of the audience.

but i, girlboss, know where he is supposed to go to make his entrance during lacrimosa and im already waiting for him there

when he arrives i try my best to not start yelling bc i dont wanna ruin the show thats still happening but before i can finish saying 'wtf are u doing this isnt salieri' i feel my stomach burning. something going thru it. oh no he stabbed me💔this is so sad orchestra play lacrimo- oh lacrimosa is already playing. thats his cue. he walks on stage. i cant do anything but watch. watch him also stab mozart. oh my god mozart is dying. he is dying auprès d'un autre.... salieri. besides another salieri. the evil hetero salieri.

the end.

i tag @haemoglobinheights​ @crox​ @eclipsedshadowk​ @briannorelfhunter​ @bluebluefangirl​ @dawodess-world​ @spooky-scary-endoskeleton​

(u obviously dont have to create a story like i did or do this at all but honestly,,, i would love to read it lmao) 

[venser]

Please scream to us about the funeral director au, it’s what the world deserves

@nghtving @cptmarveljr @artemis099 tagging u guys bc u seemed interested!

bruce:

ability to see ghosts manifested early in childhood

parents died when he was 8, but he was able to communicate with their ghosts until he was about 10 (they passed on after that)

a slightly more well-adjusted bruce wayne grows up, goes to mortuary school, and takes over the family business

often communicates with the ghosts of the deceased in his care; would sometimes get their opinion on hair/makeup/outfit

often would pay for funerals for families who couldn’t afford to do so out of pocket

alfred:

the only one who ever believed bruce’s abilities

can’t hear or see the ghosts, but he sure can see the trouble they get themselves into

“master dick, you will clean up that vase this instant!” *shattered pieces of a very expensive vase start floating off the floor and into the nearest trash can*

often the victim of accidental possessions. has grown used to it

sets places at the table for the ghosts even though they can’t actually eat

dick:

died of a then-unknown illness as an older teenager

sort of lurked at the wayne funeral home for a few weeks before he really started coming out of his shell

can often be found swinging from chandeliers/floating around in high places

very good friends with roy harper, the florist who typically supplies flowers for the funerals

advocate of natural burial (he gets it from his parents)

sort of acts like everyone’s ghostly therapist

jason:

died as a result of gang activity on his way home from school

does. not. stop. talking.

really likes the. gross aspects of cadaver preparation and preservation

very enthusiastic about haunting. he does a lot of practicing on the folks at the floral shop next door, especially roy.

don’t tell bruce but sometimes he makes the corpses dance

tim:

died in a car accident

the waynes were relatively good friends with the drakes so bruce actually knew tim personally

ofc the drakes were pretty. absent so that’s why he hangs out at wayne manor

very freaked out about his own death. he refused to actually talk about it for months

im sorry tbh i didn’t really think much about tim whoop s

cass:

tbh i haven’t though about how cass died yet i’ll get back to you on that one

has a serious soft spot for kids. unfortunately, her attempts to comfort grieving children either result in them getting scared or possessed

showed up around the same time damian was born. often would watch over him like some sort of guardian angel

forgets she’s dead a lot. will try to start a conversation only to realize that only certain people can hear her

or she’ll try to eat something and realize that she can’t because. yknow. ghost

(she really misses food)

damian:

not a ghost. inherited bruce’s ability to communicate with ghosts

closest to dick and cass

did not actually realize his siblings were all dead until much later

tbh the fact that they’re all dead doesn’t really change anything

doesn’t usually go to the funeral home (dead bodies actually freak him out a little bit, especially children)

duke:

accidental death. died his senior year of high school.

planned on going to mortuary school. wound up skipping school and going straight to work

knows enough about the funeral industry for bruce to allow him to hang around and help out with preparations, but often oversteps his boundaries

pulls the “i’m dead” card a LOT when bruce questions him

other ppl:

roy harper: works at sherwood florist, which is located right next door to wayne funeral home. bruce doesn’t know that he can see ghosts too.

barbara gordon: a family friend. aware of the ghosts, but she can’t actually see or hear them. she communicates with them via handwritten notes.

stephanie brown: a friend of tim’s from school. like barbara, she’s aware of the ghosts, but she can’t see or hear them. usually communicates with them through those little alphabet magnets on the fridge in the break room

oliver queen and dinah lance: owners of sherwood florist. neither of them are aware of the ghosts that occasionally visit the shop

[hhuta]

Hi I just wanted to say you're the reason I watched Mozart l'opera rock? Uh I have no idea who you are i think I probably followed you by accident or idk maybe Tumblr fucked up but for MONTHS now I have been seeing salieri on my dash I log in and it's like BOOM florent!! So out of boredom I watched it the other day and now I'm utterly obsessed it is on my mind constantly like. The songs are bangers. I want to (fondly) bully salieri. And Mozart.... Oh my god Mozart. I can't think about him without descending into utter incoherence like I've been so utterly charmed by him I don't know what to do with it I sent a picture of him to my friend like 'this is what Mozart looks like' and they were like 'nice jacket. Got gender envy now' and I realised... That it! It's the gender of it all. The ugly purple coat. The shitty hair that I am now in love with. Like I love him as a character but also I just really really wanna look like mikelangelo. anyway. Uh thank you for posting about mor so much that I got into it I am incapable of thinking about anything else now and I am looping lbqfm religiously it is 2am I am sor tired oh my god but if I don't disrupt my sleep schedule to focus on mor I will die

thats perhaps the best ask i ever goOOOOTTTTTTTT SO MANY COMPLIMENTS THERE AND ALSO RELATABLE THINGS I WILL COMMENT ON EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE.

FIRST OF ALL ,,, i need to say right away that i think i know who u are kldjals if u are the person who recently reblogged a place je passe gifset from me then. ur tags gave u away dlkasjdkls i had no choice but to connect the dots !! why did u go on anon lets be friends !!! 

so if u are that person then i think u followed me bc of vixx ldajlkDLKSJ leo is friends with the guy who played salieri in south korea btw u have to know that. ill use that as propaganda to get starlights into mor.

also cannot believe u put up with me talking about mor for mONTHS and not only u didnt unfollow u then went to watch it!!!!!!! im really touched!!!!!!! seriously!!!!!!!!!

"now I have been seeing salieri on my dash I log in and it's like BOOM florent!!" dlksjkljlkLDKS DONT CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT 🚶‍♂️I KNOW THATS REALLY ALL I POST ABOUT BUT STILL 🚶‍♂️

the songs really ARE bangers and fondly bullying salieri is all i do too !!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur so in love with mozart tho ldkajslkd tHATS REALLY CUTE that was me before. the. second act begun. and my attention went to. someone else. but also "The ugly purple coat. The shitty hair that I am now in love with" u jUST HAD TO END HIM LIKE THAT??????? "ur clothes and hair are ugly and thats why i love u <3333" dlkajslkjlkjLKDLKSKL

u wanting to look like him is so valid tho i bet if u dm-ed mikelangelo he would tell u where he buys his clothes and how he does his makeup im really not kidding right now

and omg you're so welcome 😭😭😭 being loud on main finally payed off... im so happy and honoured that u decided to check out the musical bc of me saying incoherent things about salieri !!!!!!! 

and i cannot stress enough how much "I am incapable of thinking about anything else now and I am looping lbqfm religiously it is 2am I am sor tired oh my god but if I don't disrupt my sleep schedule to focus on mor I will die" is literally me ... im not kidding .. rn is less worse but i used to listen to lbqfm on repeat at 2am too everyday ...... i listened to it more than 100 times in 4 months.......... i replaced that with songs from la legende du roi arthur after i watched it but still i always go back to mor when its very late at night 😭

anyways the sentence "Hi I just wanted to say you're the reason I watched Mozart l'opera rock?" alone was the best thing i could have read . question mark and all. thank u sooooo much for sending this it made my whole monthhhhhhh 😭💕💞💗💗🤧