#like the feelings there are complicated and needed time and honest communication to resolve

[cdroloisms]

I don’t really understand /why/ c!george split of from c!Dream. Sorry this isn’t really a hot take more like my own failure to understand sources. Was c!George just being silly?? Did he want c!Dream to prioritize him before c!Dream’s own goals?? What was that even about??

im just gonna go ahead and @cgogs ... c!dream was a veryveryvery paranoid person and they were having a conversation in front of an audience and it was kind of bound to blow up i fear ...

[luckyroll3]

Crimson Lights: Chapter 25

Masterlist

The weight of the silence presses in around us, heavy and expectant. It is as if the very air in Chris’ penthouse held its breath, waiting for one of us to shatter the stillness. I feel his fingers interlace with mine. His usually commanding aura is subdued, replaced by a look that tugs at the frayed edges of my heart—remorse etched into the fine lines of his face, vulnerability glimmering in his dark eyes. I look down at our hands and breathe slowly. 

A few minutes later, I lift my gaze from our intertwined fingers, feeling the warmth of his skin against mine, and meet his piercing stare. The usual sharpness that defines him, the suave executive, the confident leader, seems dulled, softened just for me. In this moment, he isn't Chan, the leader of the Crimson Syndicate; he is simply Chris, the man I’m in love with, stripped of pretense and power, asking for... what? Forgiveness? Understanding?

"Chris," I begin, my voice a tentative whisper, but the rest of my words snag on a thorn of uncertainty. How can I start to unravel the complicated tapestry of our situation with mere words? My throat feels tight, constricted by the gravity of what lay between us. I had seen sides of him I never thought I would, facets of his life that were as dangerous as they were alluring.

"Kay..." His own voice is barely audible, laced with a tension that mirrors my own.

I draw in a deep, shaky breath, taking in the familiar scent of his penthouse. It grounds me, reminds me of the countless times we'd shared laughter, deep conversations, and intimate moments in this space. "We should talk," I manage to say, stating the obvious. We’d never had this problem before. We’ve always been able to communicate effectively; our conversations raw and honest from the moment we met. Communicating with each other had been easy and at times, we didn’t even need to use words; we just knew what the other was thinking, feeling. We are too connected to let our thoughts go unsaid. We should be able to do this.

Chris nods, the motion almost imperceptible, his grip on my hands tightening ever so slightly, as if holding onto me could somehow keep us both from falling into an abyss of unspoken fears and unanswered questions.

The silence continues to stretch between us, a tangible entity with the weight of all the words we had yet to speak. I can feel the faint tremble of Chris’ hands that betrayed his calm facade. Then, with a resolve that seems to gather itself from the very air around us, he inhales deeply.

"Kay," he begins again, his voice a soft baritone that resonates with an earnestness I hadn't heard before. "I... I am so sorry." His eyes seek mine, a storm of dark brown that churns with regret. "For what happened at the warehouse—for my actions. I would never hurt you. I would kill myself before I let that happen"

His admission is like the first crack in a dam holding back a flood. His usual assuredness is gone, leaving behind a raw edge in his words that I can not ignore. The man before me is the orchestrator of calculated moves, a leader who wore authority as easily as the tailored suits that hugged his muscular body. But now, that same man is peeling back layers of armor to reveal a vulnerability that makes my heart lurch in my chest.

"Chris," I say, my voice steadier than I feel. "You—"

"Please," he interrupts, a note of quiet desperation threading through his voice. "Just let me say this. I can't take back what you saw, but I need you to know that it's not all I am. I..." He falters, struggling with his next words. "I've done things worse than that, Kay. Things that would forever change how you see me—things I wish I could shield you from, that I tried to shield you from. But now I’m learning that I can’t."

I watch the way his jaw tightens, the subtle clenching of muscles along his neck. His gaze holds mine, and in those eyes, I glimpse the churning sea of conflict and contrition. This was Chris laid bare, stripped of everything.

"Chris, I—" The words jam in my throat as I grapple with the maelstrom of emotions his confession unleashes. I look away from him. A part of me recoils, instinct warning me of the danger and darkness that lay beneath his surface, that I had seen close up for myself. Yet another part—a reckless, daring part, a part overshadowed by our love—aches to bury myself in his embrace.

"Look at me, Kay," he implores, and I do. In that moment of eye contact, I see it—the genuine remorse, the unmistakable trace of a soul in torment. It’s as if I can see the shadows of his past flickering there, vying for dominance over the light I know exists within him.

Despite the turmoil, his words did resonate within me, awakening a deep-seated care that refuses to be extinguished by doubt. I exhale slowly, feeling the weight of his gaze, the heat of his skin beneath my fingertips as I lift my hand to his face.

"I see you. All of you." And as the words leave my lips, I realize they are true. I see the man who strikes fear in the people of their underworld, and yet here he is, seeking redemption in the quiet of his own living room.

I continue, my voice barely above a whisper and my thumb brushing over his smooth skin. "You scared me. Not just because of what happened, but because it showed me a side of you that you've kept hidden away…from me."

His eyes, those windows to a soul caught between two worlds, flicker with a complex mix of emotions—fear, hope, uncertainty, sorrow. They search mine, seeking absolution in their stormy depths.

I offer him a small smile that holds more bravery than I feel. "I forgive you, Chris. But forgiveness isn't a bandage for the wounds we can't see. You can't shield me from the shadows; not if we're going to have any chance at... whatever this is between us. I love you and I need to know you, all of you—the good, the bad, the terrifying."

His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows hard, his eyes never leaving mine. In them, I see the beginning of something new—a fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, we could navigate all of this. Together.

"Thank you," he murmurs, the relief in his voice palpable. "For seeing beyond the monster I sometimes have to be."

A monster, maybe, but also a man. A man who holds my hands with a gentleness that belies the strength in his touch. A man who is, in this fragile moment, asking for my forgiveness.

He grasps my hand on the side of his face and brings it to his lips. The warmth of his lips on my skin sends an unexpected jolt through me, as if his gratitude was something tangible, a current that seeks to bridge the chasm between us. For a moment, I forget how to breathe.

"I'll spend every minute proving to you that beneath it all, there's someone worthy of you," he whispers, his voice a low rumble that resonates with the kind of sincerity you can't fake.

I can hear the determination in his words. His raw vulnerability in this moment is disarming. I am taken in by the duality of him, Chris/Chan—a man who could orchestrate chaos with precision; yet here he is, humbled by my willingness to forgive.

"Actions, Chris," I murmur, daring to believe in the possibility of redemption. "They speak louder than any promise."

He nods, his eyes never wavering from mine, and in them, I see the flicker of a silent vow. We are teetering on the edge of something profound, a connection forged not just by attraction but by the shared acknowledgment of our flawed humanity.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, we lean toward each other, drawn by a force that goes beyond mere physical desire. When our lips finally meet, the kiss is a delicate dance of give and take. His mouth is gentle against mine, a tender exploration that holds a promise of more, of hope, of a future.

His hand cradles my face, a touch so soft it is like a whisper against my skin, while my fingers find their way into his hair, holding him to me.

The softness of our kiss gives way to an urgency, a deepening hunger that neither of us can deny. Chris' lips move with mine, reigniting the spark that had been present between us since the day we met. His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer until there is no space left, and I can feel the steady rhythm of his heart against my chest.

"I've missed you—missed this," he murmurs against my mouth, his voice a low growl.

His hands roam over my back, tracing the curve of my spine with a tenderness that contrasts with the fierce need in his touch. My own fingers dance across his shoulders, feeling the muscles tense under my caress as if he is holding himself back, afraid of losing control.

"Chris," I whisper, my breath hitching as his hands slip under the hoodie, finding the warmth of my skin. "Don't hold back. Not now."

He doesn't need another invitation. With careful movements, he peels the fabric from my body, his eyes never leaving mine. I return the gesture, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, deliberately, each flick of my fingers revealing more of the man whose complex nature both intrigued and terrified me.

We move together, a fluid dance guided by desire, toward the sanctuary of his bedroom. He trails kisses down my neck, marking a path of possession and promise that make my knees jello. The sensation of his skin against mine is electric, the sharp jolts settling deep in my core.

Our clothes fall away piece by piece. There is a longing present that makes it feel like we’ve been apart for months, not two weeks. As our bare skin brushes each other’s, the whisper of contact speaks volumes, each touch a wordless conversation that we both understand.

"Kay, you're everything," he says, his voice thick with emotion as he looks at me, really looks at me—the woman who had somehow found a crack in his armor. And as we stand there, naked and exposed, I know that despite the shadows that cling to his past, to us, this is where I belong.

Not wanting to let another second pass before I feel all of him, I walk backwards to the bed, pulling him along as our lips fight with each other. I let myself tumble back when I feel the frame against my legs. As he crawls on top of me, I say breathlessly against his lips, “I need you inside me.”

His eyes are dark with desire as he settles himself between my legs and pushes his cock into me. My pussy immediately reacts as if it recognizes his dick, clenching hard around him and causing him to groan and his body to tremble. His dick recognizes me too.

His motion is slow at first, but soon enough, his pace quickens and we lose ourselves in each other’s bodies. It’s like we’re trying to make up for every moment we were apart, every breath and heartbeat we hadn’t shared in the past 2 weeks.

He wraps his arms around my body, holding tightly, like he’s afraid I might vanish before he can possess me entirely. I allow myself to be enveloped by him and also wrap my legs around his waist to force him further into me. The connection is so deep that I feel every twitch of his muscles, every beat of his heart, every breath inhaled and exhaled from his lungs. As our bodies move in sync, so too do our breaths and hearts. We are no longer two separate entities, but a single unit, each part essential to the other’s survival.

As his hips push forward again and again, our skin slaps lightly against each other, creating a melody that echoes through the room. His lips trail down my neck and across my collarbone. He nips at the tender flesh there while he thrusts into me faster and faster, harder each time. Each stroke drives home the urgency of our reunion, each movement echoing the desperation we both feel to be close once more. We are two souls finding our way back to each other after being torn apart.

He moves his lips to my ear. “Tell me you’re mine forever,” he whispers. He pulls back and his eyes lock onto mine. They are a swirling abyss of need and desire. He needs a confirmation. There’s also a silent plea for understanding.

“I’m yours Chris,” I whisper back. “Forever.”

He leans in for a searing kiss as his pace picks up furiously. I moan as he thrusts even deeper into me. A subtle hum starts to escape Chris’ lips as he buries himself entirely inside me with one final thrust. I cry out as the tip of his dick hits my inner wall just right, and an explosion of warmth spreads through me. Chris grunts and twitches as he comes as well, but his lips never leave mine. Our tongues intertwine as we refuse to separate, Chris continuing to pump his hips ever so slowly.

Eventually he slows to a stop and removes himself from between my legs and falls onto his back. He pulls me into his side. The fingers of one hand interlaces with mine, while his other hand roams my back, tracing constellations into my skin.

We lay entwined in the soft afterglow, a tangle of limbs and shared warmth. His chest rises and falls steadily under my cheek. The sensation of my body pressed against Chris’ and the depth of his gaze locked onto mine is intense. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed us.

“I’ve missed us,” he says softly, echoing my thoughts. He brings our joined hands up towards my face and uses his thumb to brush against my lower lip softly before he presses a kiss in that same spot.

"Promise me this is real," I say, my voice threaded with vulnerability.

"Every touch, every word, every promise." He seals it with another kiss, soft and sweet, a whisper of reassurance that speaks directly to my soul. We stay there, cocooned in the sanctuary of each other's arms, lost in each other’s eyes.

The rhythm of Chris’ heartbeat against my ear is steady, lulling me into a sense of security I hadn't known I craved. As the warmth of our entwined bodies seeps into my bones, tiredness from my ordeal earlier takes over me and I close my eyes, inhaling the scent of him.

But in the quiet spaces between heartbeats, another image flickers behind my eyelids—Changbin's stoic face. A twinge of guilt snakes through me, its sharp bite a stark contrast to the softness of Chris’ caresses.

"You okay?" Chris murmurs, his lips pressing against my forehead.

"It’s nothing," I say too quickly.

"You’re thinking about your time with Changbin?" His voice holds a note of concern, and he tilts my chin up so our eyes meet. "You don’t have to hide this from me."

I search his gaze, finding the deep pools of trust and tenderness that had drawn me to him in the first place. "I know, Chris. It's just...." I pause to think about what I want to say. “First off, I want you to know that I didn’t sleep with Changbin to punish you. I would never do that. It just sort of happened. I needed physical comfort in that moment and he was there. I’m sorry.”

He nods as he processes my rambling. “No apology necessary.”

“It is. I felt awful. I was so worried about how it would make you feel. And I’m still worried about hurting Binnie’s feelings.” I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

Chris kisses it away. “We don’t have to figure this out now. Just be here with me.”

"Okay," I whisper.

We hold each other tighter, our limbs a tangled vine of need and solace. As sleep begins to claim me, nestled securely in Chris’ arms, I allow myself one last thought of Changbin. Then I push it away, sealing it in the corners of my mind where daylight could not reach. For now, it is enough to feel the steady beat of Chris' heart against mine.

[johnniesmoke]

Summary of "Top Notch":

"Top Notch" by Johnnie Smoke is a lyrical journey that delves into themes of resilience, ambition, and self-discovery. The song begins with reflections on innocence and honesty, showcasing the artist’s resolve to face challenges and embrace love and recognition when the time is right. It transitions into a declaration of determination, as Johnnie Smoke vows to overcome obstacles, let go of past conflicts, and bring his loved ones along on his path to success.

The lyrics emphasize his unwavering commitment to hard work, encapsulated in his mastery of 10,000 hours and a relentless drive to punch through life’s barriers. The artist asserts his individuality, likening his endeavors to a well-crafted operation that embodies excellence and intention. Themes of destiny and purpose emerge as he leverages his unique talents and knowledge to achieve success.

The track concludes with a celebration of authenticity and community, pledging to inspire and uplift others while solidifying his place as a “golden child” and a beacon of hope.

Lyrics:

Feeling under scrutiny when I'm a kid who can do no wrong/

Honest as they come, hard as it gets/

When the day comes my consciousness is merely love/

I'll be ready for the praise/

In the meantime I'll just be wondering what's relief/

Singing songs about my sunset/

What's up Cheech/

I was promised a vacation/

And I want to cash in/

This will not be the last you heard of me/

When the seems are splitting, I'll be the one walking out of the smoke with my head held high and a stack of dough/

It's a "glow up" that's written in the stars/

I just want to play my part/

Yeah, let bygones be bygones/

As far as my brothers go, I want to take all I can with me/

So I stomp out these demons/[Write these songs]

I jump on these opportunities to make it known/

I send farewell wishes to kids that diss it as I watch them go/

Where they coming back/

Ho!

Classic, yeah, baby/

Don't you say that there isn't/

Anybody like me?/

Hey Baby, don't you know that there isn't anybody like us? Ho!

I'm trying to punch through/

I'm punching in with the best 10,000 hours/

Or close to the rest said they're pulling the strings/

Like a slight with the deck, like I'm supposed to tell you I guess/

It's a mystery to me what more could be needed/

To get this job done with Liberty, it takes a kid crazy enough I'm him/

A Daredevil every track/

It's a hard life/

Talk to me like you know what it can be/

I could be everywhere and back, proved I could tell you the story/

Classic is how it should be/

The operation is top notch/

Can't fund it on my own the moves how to play/

Johnnie Smoke the fundamentals like a epiphany/

They'll know who it ought to be/

Kahoots reminiscent the word starts now/

Johnnnie Smoke the best around, that's good by me/

Check, check/

Commitment should mean something/

Willingness would be their dream/

But in life, nothing is free/

Dweebs/

Destiny is a big story for me/

Headed for the best days of the endeavor/

Pushing to the limit, kind of guy with magic on his mind/

Making it every waking moment/

That's a special kind of life, yeah/

Taking my sweet time leveraging the knowledge that I shouldn't even have, that you wouldn't have/

Truly one of a kind and I'm here for the cash/

Had me right where you wanted me/

Then poof dichotomy pulling all of this out of me/

Just being honest, the effort is complicated by the powers that be/[The delirious*]

Yeah, I know what I've seen/

And I'm not just anybody with a microphone/

I'm a golden child/

Speaking of the phonies/

Too good to be true/

But if it's real it aint/

And I'm writing rhymes, not getting schemed/

Living in a pretty nice place, if you're asking me/

And kind of rent free/

Bringing the fire, it's the least I can do for my people/

Yeah Baby/

https://soundcloud.com/johnniesmoke/top-notch?si=6cef58743f264695b6d9606b1e01b35f&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

[nochuelinha]

Your Eyes - Chapter 10: No Control

I left the room and went to the living room, where I found Dina watching TV. Without saying a word, I sat down next to her and rested my head on her shoulder. It didn't take long for her to notice my worried expression.

"I saw Ellie leaving in a hurry, I thought you two were having a more intimate and passionate moment," Dina commented. I immediately felt embarrassed, she probably heard something.

I tried to disguise my embarrassment with a nervous smile, avoiding eye contact with the TV screen to look at Dina. "Oh, no, it wasn't quite like that..." I murmured, struggling to find the right words to explain the situation, but the truth ended up escaping from me in a heavy sigh. "Ellie went to meet Cat," I admitted, my voice filled with sadness. "It's always like this, every time I have a wonderful moment with Ellie and it seems like things are progressing, she constantly runs to Cat, I'm getting frustrated with this, then she shows up without explanations as if nothing happened," I confessed, tears forming in my eyes.

As I heard my own words, laden with frustration and sadness, I felt a wave of emotion and vulnerability. Dina placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, offering silent support that I so desperately needed at that moment.

"I understand how you feel," she said gently, her voice soft and comforting. "It's difficult to deal with this situation, especially when you emotionally invest yourself and then feel left out." Tears began to stream down my face as I poured out all my anguish and pain. It was a relief to be able to share my feelings with someone who understood and supported me. Dina then advised me to talk to Ellie about what was bothering me. "Having an open conversation about your feelings is the first step to resolving any issue," she suggested wisely. "Maybe Ellie isn't aware of how much this is affecting you, and an honest conversation can help her better understand your perspective."

As the week progressed, I noticed that the messages from Ellie became more scarce and distant. Each of her responses seemed shorter and less interested than before. A sense of sadness began to weigh on me, weighing on my heart with overwhelming heaviness. I tried to ignore the growing feeling of anxiety and worry, telling myself that Ellie was probably busy with her own commitments and would soon communicate with me again. Then, on a Friday night, while I was at home, the doorbell rang. My pulse quickened as I walked to the door, unsure of what to expect. Upon opening it, I found Ellie standing there, with a gentle and concerned look.

Before I could say anything, she threw herself into my arms in a tight hug. For a moment, I was surprised by her unexpected visit, but the feeling of her warmth and familiar presence brought immediate comfort.

Sitting on the couch with the TV on, after a long hug that reconnected us, I decided to address the issue that had been bothering me.

"Ellie," I began, my voice slightly hesitant, "we need to talk about what happened this week, and in the past ones too. Have you noticed that every time we're having a good time, Cat calls and you run to her?" She seemed to ponder.

"Yes, I've noticed," Ellie replied, her expression showing a mixture of surprise and reflection. "I understand how this may have been disturbing for you, and I'm sorry for not addressing it earlier." Her eyes met mine, conveying a sincere desire to resolve the situation. "The truth is, I've been struggling to deal with things with Cat," she admitted, her voice filled with vulnerability. "We had a complicated relationship in the past, and sometimes it's hard for me to define clear boundaries."

My voice became more choked up as I gathered the courage to express what was weighing on my heart. "This is affecting me too, Ellie. What do you want from me? Am I just another casual fling to you?"

Ellie's eyes filled with compassion as she listened to my words. She reached out to hold my hand, conveying comfort and support. "No, never," she replied firmly. "You're not just another casual fling to me. You're important to me, and our relationship means more than that."

Her phone started ringing, interrupting our delicate conversation. Ellie looked at the device in her hands, hesitating, while the screen displayed Cat's name once again. Before she could decide whether to answer or not, I felt a firm determination come over me.

"Don't answer, we're having a serious conversation right now," my voice came out firm and decisive, conveying my conviction that our dialogue deserved priority at that moment. However, my heart sank when I saw the pleading look in Ellie's eyes.

"You don't understand, she needs me," were her words, a confession that hit me like a punch. In an instant, my world seemed to collapse around me. "She's pregnant, Y/N, she needs my support and..."

Tears began to blur my vision, my heart squeezing in a mixture of pain, shock, and disbelief. Before I could control my reaction, the words escaped from my lips with an intensity that I barely recognized as my own voice.

"I BET THE CHILD ISN'T YOURS," I shouted, the words laden with anger, hurt, and an overwhelming sensation, what would she do? Raise the child with her while fucking me?

"She doesn't know who the father is yet, so the only person supporting her is me, please..." her voice came out pleading. With a heavy heart, I took a step back, distancing myself from Ellie as tears freely rolled down my face. It was a deep and anguishing pain, a feeling of helplessness in the face of a situation that seemed out of control.

"I... I don't know what to think," I murmured, my voice trembling with the intensity of my emotions. "I need time to process all of this."

The words came out of me laden with pain and insecurity, as I continued to distance myself from Ellie, my voice shaking with the intensity of my emotions.

"Do you plan to stay with both of us? Or will you leave me when you can finally have a family with her?" I questioned, the words weighing like lead on my tongue.

Finally, Ellie took a deep breath, her eyes meeting mine with painful sincerity. "I... I don't know," she admitted, her voice filled with uncertainty. "I wish I could give you a clear answer, but the truth is, I'm as lost as you are right now."

With a heavy heart and a wavering voice, I turned to Ellie, my words coming out in a trembling whisper. "Leave, Ellie," I pleaded, the pain echoing in every syllable. She touched my arm with an expression of anguish and concern, but I recoiled, repeating my words with even more firmness. "Please, leave here," I pleaded once again, tears welling up in my eyes.

However, Ellie remained there, unmoving, as if waiting for some response that I couldn't give. Frustration and sadness began to consume me, and I lost control.

"GO AWAY!" I shouted, my voice filled with despair and anguish. The words burst out of me, a manifestation of the deep pain I was facing. I didn't know what else to do, how to deal with the avalanche of emotions enveloping me, but the only thing I knew was that I needed to be alone in that moment. The sound of the door slamming echoed through the empty room, marking Ellie's silent departure. With an unbearable weight on my chest, I let myself fall to the cold floor, my tears flowing freely like an uncontrollable torrent.

Each sob was an expression of the deep pain consuming me, a tumultuous mixture of sadness, anger, and despair swirling inside me. I felt lost, helpless, drowned in the vastness of my own anguish. As exhaustion took over me, I allowed myself to be carried away by the enveloping my body and mind. I fell asleep right there on the cold floor, amidst my own tears, letting myself sink into the comforting darkness of sleep.

[parentingplanlawyer]

A Guide to Springfield Family Lawyers: What They Do and How They Can Help You

Family law can be complex and emotionally charged, involving sensitive issues like divorce, child custody, spousal support, and more. If you’re going through a family-related legal issue in Springfield, understanding how a family lawyer can help and finding the right attorney to represent you are essential steps. This guide will explore the role of family lawyers, the services they provide, and how you can find the best family lawyer in Springfield to meet your needs.

What is Family Law?

Family law is a branch of legal practice that focuses on matters involving family relationships. Common cases in family law include:

Divorce and legal separation

Child custody and visitation rights

Child and spousal support (alimony)

Property division

Adoption and guardianship

Domestic violence protection orders

Paternity and parental rights

Family law cases often require an understanding of both legal issues and the emotional aspects involved. Family lawyers work to balance both the legal and personal needs of their clients, advocating for their rights while aiming to reach fair and respectful resolutions.

How Family Lawyers Can Help You

Family lawyers play several essential roles, offering legal advice, representation, and support throughout each stage of a family law case. Here’s a breakdown of what they can do for you:

1. Legal Advice and Guidance

Family lawyers provide professional advice on how state-specific laws apply to your case. They help you understand your rights, options, and potential outcomes, allowing you to make informed decisions at every step.

2. Mediation and Negotiation

Many family law cases can be resolved outside of court through negotiation and mediation. Family lawyers act as mediators to help both parties reach a mutually beneficial agreement on issues like child custody or property division. They can also handle negotiations on your behalf, ensuring you get fair representation in discussions.

3. Court Representation

If your case goes to court, a family lawyer will represent you before a judge. They’ll prepare evidence, call witnesses, and present arguments in support of your case. Skilled representation is crucial when dealing with complicated issues like contested divorces or high-stakes custody battles.

4. Document Preparation and Filing

Family law cases require extensive paperwork. Family lawyers handle all the necessary legal documents, from filing divorce petitions to preparing prenuptial agreements. By managing the documentation, they help avoid errors or delays that could complicate the process.

5. Protecting Your Rights and Interests

Family law attorneys advocate for your best interests, ensuring that your rights are protected in all legal proceedings. Whether negotiating alimony, establishing parental rights, or dividing assets, they work to secure a favorable outcome for you and your family.

Choosing the Right Family Lawyer in Springfield

Selecting a family lawyer is a significant decision, as they will be your advocate and advisor during a challenging time. Here are some tips for finding the right Springfield family lawyer:

1. Research Their Expertise

Look for attorneys who specialize in family law and have experience in cases similar to yours. Different lawyers may focus on divorce, custody issues, or domestic violence cases, so choosing one with relevant experience can make a difference.

2. Check Client Reviews and Testimonials

Reviews from previous clients can provide insight into the attorney's professionalism, communication style, and success rate. Reputable family lawyers often have positive reviews, and testimonials can reveal how supportive and empathetic the lawyer is.

3. Evaluate Communication Style

Open communication is key in family law cases. Look for a lawyer who listens to you, understands your concerns, and provides clear, honest guidance. You should feel comfortable asking questions and confident in their responses.

4. Consider Cost and Transparency

Family law cases can be expensive, and understanding the costs upfront is crucial. Ask about the lawyer's fee structure, payment plans, and potential additional costs to avoid surprises down the line. Many family lawyers offer initial consultations to discuss fees and your case.

5. Schedule an Initial Consultation

Meeting with a potential family lawyer is the best way to assess if they’re a good fit. Most lawyers offer an initial consultation, during which you can ask about their experience, discuss your case, and evaluate whether they’re someone you can trust.

Key Areas of Family Law in Springfield

Family law cases often depend on state laws and local courts, so understanding how family law works in Springfield specifically can help. Below are some common areas of family law handled by attorneys in Springfield.

Divorce and Legal Separation

Springfield family lawyers are experienced in helping clients through divorce, from negotiating property settlements to arranging spousal support. They work to protect clients' rights in uncontested and contested divorces, helping make the process as smooth as possible.

Child Custody and Support

Child custody and support cases require careful consideration of the best interests of the child. Family lawyers assist with custody agreements, visitation rights, and child support calculations, whether the case is settled in court or through negotiation.

Domestic Violence and Protective Orders

Springfield family lawyers also help clients secure protective orders in cases of domestic abuse, ensuring the safety of those involved. They work with clients to navigate the legal system and obtain restraining orders when necessary.

Adoption and Guardianship

Adoption and guardianship cases are complex, often involving extensive legal paperwork. Family lawyers guide clients through each stage, ensuring that legal requirements are met for a smooth transition.

[wedesignyouny]

Effective Communication: Helping Your Child Through the School Year Divorce | Beckerman & Granados, PLLC

Effective Communication: Helping Your Child Through the School Year Divorce

Divorce can be difficult to handle for both parents and kids throughout the academic year. At Beckerman & Granados, PLLC, we are experienced Queens Divorce Lawyers and understand how important it is to offer assistance and direction during this trying time. As the new school year draws near, we are here to offer priceless advice on managing divorce with your child. You can guarantee a smooth transition and reduce any possible detrimental effects on your child's academic achievement and emotional health by adhering to these tips.

Good Communication: Supporting Your Child During the Divorce

Being upfront and honest with your child is one of the most important things you can do to help them deal with the divorce. It is imperative that you have meaningful conversations with your child regarding the impending changes. Here are some important things to think about:

Age-Appropriate Explaination: Adapt your explanations about the divorce to your child's comprehension level and age. Steer clear of extraneous details and complication in the discourse by keeping things basic and uncomplicated. Generally speaking, it is advised that you take your child to a therapist or, at the at least, the guidance counselors at the school for support. When talking about this challenging subject with the other parent, it is crucial to try and get on the same page.

Comfort and Encouragement: Assure your child that they will always have the love and support of both parents. Stress that they are not losing their parents' affection or their own, and that the divorce was not their fault. Encourage Expression: Provide a secure environment in which your kids can share their thoughts and worries. Encourage children to express their feelings and ideas without worrying about being judged. It's important to listen actively throughout this period. This is another situation where counseling or a school guidance counselor may be quite helpful.

Communication Consistency: Talk to your child on a regular basis. Remind them that they can contact you at any time with any questions or concerns. Being consistent fosters confidence and gives security.

During this difficult time, you can help your child feel less nervous and more safe by laying a strong foundation of honest and open communication.

Accepting Routine: Consistency in the Face of Change A child's life needs consistency and routine, especially when dealing with big changes like divorce. In order to preserve stability as the new school year draws near, take into account the following actions:

Coordinated Schedules: Work with your former spouse to make a common calendar that contains holidays, occasions for the kids' education, and events for extracurricular activities. Your child will have a consistent routine and less uncertainty if you have a single timetable that works for both homes.

Regular Bedtimes and Routines: Make sure that the daily schedules and bedtime customs are the same in both homes. As they transition between homes, your child may feel more rooted and safe because to this stability.

Communication Between Homes: Work out a system that will allow you and your ex-spouse to communicate easily about your child's everyday activities, homework, and any issues that may come up. This guarantees that both parents are knowledgeable and able to quickly resolve any problems. Numerous applications are available to help with this.

Your child will benefit from consistency and stability in their routine, which will ease their adjustment to the upheavals brought forth by divorce.

Surveillance and Assistance: Inform the school of any emotional or scholastic difficulties your child may be experiencing as a result of the divorce. This helps the school to offer the assistance and modifications that are required. Working together with the school establishes a network of support that can attend to your child's requirements and guarantee their academic and emotional wellbeing throughout this change. You may handle divorce with your child throughout the school year more easily by putting these strategies for effective communication, embracing routine, and working with the school into practice. This will support your child's general well-being and academic performance. Remind yourself that during this difficult period, your support and direction are essential.

[selormohene]

day 83 (sunday, september 24th 2023)

Writing Monday, as per.

I've realised that a lot of interpersonal strife can be resolved by learning how to say no. Of course I'm thinking of this in a specific context, that of dating and casual connections, but also friendships as well, and I'm sure the idea generalises. Let's say you aren't interested in someone anymore, or you don't like the way their political views have changed since you guys went to school a few years ago, or you don't trust yourself to be able to have meaningful conversation with them because you oppose the religion around which they've built their entire lives, or you haven't been able to work through the complicated feelings which attended the last time you were in close contact. Of course it would very often resolve things if you simply were able to communicate these sentiments to the people in question straightforwardly, and were willing to accept whatever reaction ensued. This would include both accepting whatever reasonable negative reactions were to result (accepting that the person might respond by keeping you at a greater distance than you had originally hoped, for instance) and being able to conduct yourself properly in the face of unreasonable negative reactions (maintain your boundaries, stand up for your reasons, protect yourself from vindictive responses if need be).

Part of the problem is how these things start, and here I'm thinking more about casual relationships and nascent friendships, or even the beginning of friendly acquaintance — because part of what makes these things so interesting is that these three sorts of relationships often start out from a common root, and in fact often exist in a state of superposition until a conversation or a crucial moment collapses the wavefunction. But anyway, there's an issue with how they start, but also with how the way they start influences the way they end. Nobody quite wants to be vulnerable at the outset, but also nobody wants to be prickly, and also people don't really have the proper connection to be genuinely positive. So what one has instead is a sort of easy-come easy-go false positivity, where one peppers one's sentences with lots of exclamation points and tries not to push too hard, and overemphasises small points of commonality, or sometimes even ignores red flags or tries to rationalise them even though in the long term that should be a sign that this isn't going to work, or what have you. What that does is that it prevents or disincentivises people from expressing disagreement, or from genuinely assessing a situation in the interests of everyone involved, or from saying something that might be too risky, and so on. But then it's precisely the inability to be properly vulnerable or honest that makes it the case that you can't make light conversation and have a chill date, or hang out with this person within more of a party context if it's more of a friendship thing, and then all of a sudden decide you don't like this person and say so in the most forthright manner possible, because it would be an unaccountable switch-up. So instead you have to make up excuses, or you just ignore the person in question, or whatever.

Anyway, this is another consequence of the fact that ultimately you cannot cheat the order of things. It's funny how many philosophical systems, from the Kantian to the Taoist to the Heideggerean to the Stoic, ultimately come down to this, in some form or other. The reason that underlies the world as it is (or the suprarational principle, if you're a Taoist or a Heideggerean) is such that attempting to exploit it — to go against it in pursuit of self-interest — will ultimately just come back to bite you. It will lead you into disattunement and contradiction and frustration. The will to selfishness and to self (here defined as a normative structure that attempts to oppose the order of things for the sake of its own self-maintenance) is ultimately the will to self-destruction, and the ability to renounce the self results in being reconciled with the order of things. Obviously there are disagreements on the ethical nature of this order of things, but the point is that you can't start out by trying to gain an advantage without having to pay your debt later. All immorality is ultimately reducible to irrationality. Wicked people create their own opposition, and ultimately live in a hell of their own making. (Obviously there are caveats, natural disasters and so on, but here we're thinking about the causal structure of the human world primarily, but a lot of this also applies to attempts to cheat nature itself.) And I think learning this lesson is ultimately one of the most important steps on one's journey to actualising the spark of the divine at the core of one's being.

[astrologysupport1]

Miracle Prayer To Get My Ex Back – Astrology Support

Love is a powerful feeling that rules everyone’s mind and heart. It is a beautiful emotion but sometimes due to some problems and complications, it becomes worse. If you ask anyone, you get to know that everyone has a different opinion about love as some people are interested in it and some people don’t show any interest in it. You realize at some moment that you love your ex and you want them back in your life. If you are still feeling the same love for your ex-partner then you should call them back into your life and not repeat the same mistakes in your relationship.

Performing miracle prayers may come naturally to you if you pray from your heart. Praying for your loved one is one of the purest acts of adoration. A prayer for your loved one to come back into your life can do wonders. It can mend the broken relationship and bring the person into your life again. However, for the prayer to work, you ought to have deep faith in a supreme being. Everything is possible if you believe and pray from your heart.

How to get your ex back?

You are thinking about how to get your ex-partner back if you’ve heard them say things like, “I despise my life partner,” as getting your ex back takes a lot of ambition. You need to determine everything and then adjust it as necessary. Just let your partner know that you’re planning to change and exactly what happened so that you can adjust the way he or she wants. You must be honest with yourself before becoming hopelessly and emotionally attached to your partner’s absence. Sometimes demonstrating to the other person that you are both happy and unconcerned about all possible consequences of the relationship might help the other person realize. Everyone was trying hard to improve their relationship by spending much more quality time with each other.

Sometimes they may fail due to misunderstandings, fights, and arguments. There was no shortcut for getting everything resolved. You are trying hard to gain their trust and love back but for that, there was the approval of your partner. You both should work out together and clear all your misunderstandings. You should be careful with your actions and words so that you don’t hurt them back again. You should start communicating back with your ex and have some enjoyable conversations with them. You should start taking interest in their life. You should show concern that you can’t live without them.

You should try to spend some romantic time with your ex and make them realize your love for them. Always support them in every task of their life. Don’t try to bring the third person or negative people into your relationship otherwise, they ruin your love life. Chanting powerful mantras provides relaxation and provides calm your mind. It also helps in decreasing stress and anxiety. You should love your partner without any condition and care for them without any reason.

If God has decided to bring the love back into your life then they help you to get your ex back with the same love and feeling. You should try to appreciate their work and try to impress them again. Pandit Kapil Sharma gives these powerful tips to get your partner back and guide you properly according to the situation. He always tries to resolve the problems of individuals with wonderful solutions.

Miracle Prayers to bring your ex back

However, did you know that miracle prayers are also done to bring your ex back into your life?

Miracle prayers make your bond with God which helps you to get back your old love.

According to Pandit Kapil Sharma, some prayers are very helpful to get back your ex in your life.

Almighty Jehovah, I thank You for granting me the tenacity to stand before You today in acceptance of my faults and wrongs. I have not been the best lover, so I regret what I did. God, as your child, You know that I have always loved from the heart. I adore my spouse/ girlfriend/ boyfriend with every fiber in my body. I pray that You give them the strength to return to my life, as I still have strong feelings for them. God, I am also praying for our broken relationship. May it not be an on-and-off thing anymore. I pray that You make it long-term, for he or she is the only one with whom I want to spend the rest of my life. I pray that You will bring my love back home.

This prayer is done to bring your ex back into your life.

Dear Lord, I am lost and lonely without my ex-boyfriend. I adore and miss him dearly and would love to have the chance to give our relationship another try, as I know we both adore each other very much. We had some rough times that tore us apart, and as time goes on, instead of getting over him, I miss him more and more each day. Dear God, I pray for us to be reunited and be happy with each other and not be afraid to show each other our deep feelings. Help him get the help he needs to overcome his issues. I will do the same as I have unresolved issues that need addressing. I will do whatever it takes to be a whole person again and show my deep love for him. Thank you, Lord.

This prayer is done to bring your ex-boyfriend back into your life.

My dearest one is gone, and only a dark sky is left in my life. I don’t know what to do; how can I return her/him? So, I pray to You, Lord, to help me return the most precious person I deeply care about. They left, and now my only dream is to return to my special one. Now, I ask for help to save our relationship.

This prayer is done to bring your partner back to whom you cared a lot.

Dear God, the adoration that has been shared between (insert their name) and I will always prevail. I know that we will emerge victorious at the end of this. Right now, I am asking for patience and a forgiving heart. Our relationship has been married with challenges. I, however, believe that You will bring back the love of my life and that we will show each other true affection. I promise to start everything fresh and treat our new relationship like we just met. I miss our young love. We loved without a care in the world and were carefree in everything we did. I ask You for forgiveness, dear God, and pray that You will help us rebuild this beautiful relationship.

This prayer is done to bring your true love back into your life.

All these prayers are done to bring your ex-partner back into your life.

Mantras to get your ex back

Love is a very powerful factor in human life. Love comforts, supports, and alleviates worries. At times, love life can bring disappointments due to several reasons. If you lost your love for some reason there are powerful Vashikaran mantras to get back your lost love. These powerful Vashikaran mantras can let you find the results within a very short time.

Om Namah Bhagwate Rudrav Drishti

Lekhi Nahar Swah Duhai Kansasur Ji

Joot Jooot Phura Mantra Ishwaro Vacha

With the help of this mantra, you can get your lost love back in your life.

Sarva Mangala Mangalye Sive Sarvartha Sadhike

Saranye Trayanbike Gauri Narayani Namostute

Or

Ganesha Mantra

|| Om Gan Ganpataye Namah ||

You should try every possible way to bring your partner back into your life if you still love them. Don’t play with someone’s feelings otherwise, it will hurt you back. Try to win their trust again and make them understand your feelings and that the mistakes you have done will not repeat.

Om Mahayakshini Pati Mem Vashyam Kuru Kuru Swaha

You can chant this mantra to make your relationship better when you get back to your ex.

Katyayani Mahamaye Mahayoginyadheeshwari Nandgopsutam Devipatim Me Kuru te Namah

This mantra will help you to make your relationship healthy and away from negativity.

Om Namo Bhagwate Rudraa

This mantra of Lord Shiva helps you to fulfill all your wishes.

You can perform these miracle prayers with a fresh and positive mind which helps you in getting your ex back. You should not bring any negative thoughts into your mind otherwise it will have a bad impact on your life. You should try every possible way to get them back without hurting them. Make sure to chant these mantras by wearing fresh clothes with silence in your surroundings. You can consult Pandit Kapil Sharma for more expert solutions if these prayers and mantras are not working. He will guide you on the right way to get your ex back.

LOVE ASTROLOGR

CHAT & WHATSAPP+918875270809

[creepychan08]

Oikawa x reader - A married life

"Now I'm asking you, what is this?" You shoved the screen of your phone,  towards your husband as he squinted his eyes at the sudden action.

"I told you,  I was at the company party and I-" Oikawa stopped. The picture showed him kissing a woman clad in revealing dress. His hands covered her cheeks as it looked like he was gladly returning the affection.

"Yn,  I know what it looks like but I promise you its not what it seems like to you."

"Then why are you kissing her!?" You threw your hands in the air,  frustrated at your husband. It didn't help that your hormones were skyrocketing and out of place. You were 3 months pregnant, after all.

"Look, she grabbed me out of nowhere and just forced herself on me. I was trying to push her that's why my hands were around her head. Baby, I wouldn't do that to you. You know I only love you."

You were rendered speechless at his explanation. The ache in your chest dispersing as you calm down. He wrapped his arms around you, running his hands through your soft hair.

"I'm sorry." You mumbled, hiding your face in his chest. He smell so good beneath the smooth texture of his suit. Unknowingly to you, Oikawa's eyes were tightly shut as he bit his lips guiltily.

"It's just whenever I go to your workplace, I always see her sauntering around you. She's obviously trying to seduce you. That's why I asked you again and again to avoid her as much as possible. I don't want to lose you" Voicing out your insecurities made you feel vulnerable. But you know that being in a relationship require two parties involved to be honest with each other. Communication and trust remains the strong foundation of your marriage.

"I know,  sweetheart. But tell me, who sent that picture to you?" He pulled back and just when you were about to answer,  another chime from your phone took both of your attention.

You clicked it open. Oikawa right by your side as he curiously look at your text. You didn't mind it. There was nothing to hide from him anyway.

The message opened to reveal a video. Tapping the play button, it shows your husband furiously making out with the same girl in the earlier photo. They were situated in a corner,  away from everyone as some of his coworkers were busily drinking.

You hands started shaking as tears unconsciously poured from your eyes. Feeling your husband tense from beside you only confirms your theory. The video soon ended and there was tense silence.

You looked up to see Oikawa with his head bowed, hair covering his eyes. Even from your position, you couldn't see his expression. But it didn't matter. The video says it all. You didn't bother asking for explanation this time.

Slowly, you begun untangling his arms around you. Letting out a hollow laugh, you shook your head in dismay.

Funny how you always laugh at those cliche movies whenever a girl experiences heartbreak. They always portray it as a physical pain, symtoms similar to a heart attack. But you deem it as bullshit. Sure, it hurts. But its impossible to feel that much pain just from losing the one you love, right?

So why does it feel like you're dying now? Your heart still beats. But it feels as if it was literally torn and stamp repeatedly. You tried to breath normally but something lodge in your throat and why can't you breath properly?  Why does your lungs seem to stop working right when you need it most?

"Yn!"

"YN!!!"

Choking back a gasp, you return to reality as you see Oikawa panicking as he held you.

"Are you okay? Breath slowly, baby" He instructed, rubbing his hand soothingly on your back as you tried to regain your senses.

"Why, Tooru?" You finally gathered the courage to ask. The feeling of betrayal rang loud and clear on your hoarse voice and he winced from it.

"I'm sorry Yn. I'm sorry for lying. I got pretty drunk at the party. I lose control. We haven't done it for a while after you got pregnant and she was there and just flaunting around and kept rubbing me, saying things how she's going to make me feel good and I just- I!" He rambled, truth finally spilling from those lips you loved so much. His eyes were everywhere but you.

You didn't know what to feel. You asked for the truth, right? But you feel so much worse now.

"Are you blaming me for being pregnant, Tooru?"

"Shit,  no Yn-"

"We planned this together! You said you wanted to build a family with me. And we both decided to refrain from any sexual activities while I'm in my early pregnancy to avoid any possible complications while the baby is being developed. We talked about it and we both agreed! So why are you turning it against me now?"

"I know it wasn't an excuse, Yn! And I know I'm wrong. God,  I'm so wrong.Please, forgive me." Oikawa sobbed, tears cascading down the smooth expanse of his cheeks as he begged for your forgiveness.

"If you can't help yourself then maybe I shouldn't have agreed to have a baby with you!" You cried, anger radiating off you in waves.

"All those nights you came home late. Was it because you were taking your sweet time with her? Hm?" You smiled at him mockingly and his eyes widened in protest.

"No, Yn!" He tightly clutched your arms, desperately forcing you to hear him out, "Listen to me. I took all those overtime to gain extra money. That was in preparation for when our baby comes! Please believe me when I say it was for us!"

You looked at him with dull eyes. The aftermath of the fight just leaves you exhausted. You didn't know what to believe anymore. This was the man you had vowed to be with for the rest of your life. This was the man you wholeheartedly love and respect. Trust had always been your foundation,  hasn't it? 

Where has all the trust gone to?

You placed your hand on your belly. Wondering if he or she can feel the pain their father just bestowed to you. Hopefully not. You never want any harm nor pain come to your baby.

"I'm going to sleep. I'm tired." Coming up with a lame excuse, you turn to walk away when a hand firmly grasp your arms, not in a painful way.

"Lets talk about this, Yn. I don't want us to go to sleep tonight without resolving this issue." Oikawa pleaded with you, eyes begging for a chance. Any time, you will easily give in but after what happened, you don't know how to face him.

"I don't know what to say anymore, Tooru. I just want to rest." You smiled at him resignedly. Oikawa gritted his teeth. His heart throb painfully. How can you say that with such look on your face? Knowing that he caused your pain only increased the frustration and guilt running through his veins.

With a sigh,  he unwillingly yielded to your request. Letting go of your hand,  he watched your back face him as you slowly walked further away from him.

He will later learn that that was the biggest mistake of his life.

That night, both of you slept in the same bed as usual. Although a few inches only separates you, both your hearts were distanced with an invisible barrier. One trying to forget the pain it experienced,  while the other trying to find ways to have you back to him.

It was dead silent. You were tilting in between reality and dreams when a sudden, sharp pain tore through your abdomen and you screamed in pain. Startling your husband who immediately checked on you.

"Yn-chan,  are you okay?  What happened!?" Oikawa asked,  panic covering his features as he took in your pain filled expression. He felt the sheets wet and he clicked the bedside lamp open to see your side in bed covered in blood.

Your pupils dilated as you took in the sight. Another stabbing pain washed over you and you keeled in agony, stifling your screams. You barely felt Oikawa whisper comforting words to you before quickly lifting you up to bring you to the hospital.

My baby. No,  I can't lose him/her. Was the only thought going through your mind.

"It hurts" you groaned in pain as Oikawa comfortingly grip your hand with one of his own as he drive with one hand. (AN: Not safe. Don't do this guys. Always drive safely)

"Take deep breaths, love"

"My baby" Sobbing in distress, you held on your stomach and Oikawa felt like vomiting. A lot has happened in the past couple of hours and the thought of something happening to your unborn child didn't help the queasy feeling in his gut.

"I'm here, Yn. Nothing will happen to you nor our baby." Pretending to be strong for the both of you, he forcefully blinked the tears forming on his eyes.

Everything happened fast after that. It was like everything was a blur for him. You were quickly taken in the emergency room before you were transferred to the operating room. The doctor and nurses explained what was happening to you and what they were about to do. He numbly agreed to what they say. Only repeated over and over again that they must save you.

Before long he found himself waiting outside the operating theatre. His ears were ringing as he looked at his surroundings. It was surreal. Like his body was there but his consciousness somewhere else. He was only brought back to reality when he felt harsh tugging on his shoulder.

"Oi,  Oikawa get a grip on yourself!"

"Iwa-...chan..? How did you get here? "

"You texted me,  did you forget?"

"Ah.. Right" Oikawa mumbled, blankly staring at nowhere in particular. He felt drained but the anxiety running on his body did not allow him to even get an ounce of rest as he waited for the news on his wife and baby.

Iwaizumi frowned. It was unusual to see his bestfriend so distraught. He still didn't know what happened after all, Oikawa only texted him that he was in the hospital after something happened to his wife. But he felt asking would be too insensitive on his part so he stay silent and tried to just be there for his bestfriend.

"It was my fault,  y'know" Oikawa finally spoke after some time.

Iwaizumi patiently waited for him to continue, silently confused on Oikawa blaming himself.

"We had a fight. She saw me making out with the girl she hated from our company. Somebody sent her a video of it."

Iwaizumi was shocked. He knew Oikawa was a huge flirt back in their high school days but that he also outgrew it when he fall in love with Yn Ln. They were happy together and rarely had a fight as much as he knew. Or was it all a facade?

Suddenly,  he felt anger rush through him at the foolishness of his bestfriend. Messing around when he knew his wife was pregnant! Iwaizumi opened his mouth to curse at his close friend when he was frozen at the sight.

Oikawa was staring at him with regret painted all over his face. Tears continuously fall on his cheeks. The usual light in his warm, soft eyes was gone and all that was left was an endless pit of misery and hopelessness.

"I screwed up, Iwa-chan" He whispered, defeated.

Flinching in response, Iwaizumi's anger quickly switch into sympathy for his friend as he assessed his poor condition.

"She's strong. Stop thinking on the worst scenario. Just focus on what you will do after this." While giving him a reassurring pat on the back. Oikawa released a shaky breath as he nodded at his friends' advice.

Suddenly,  the doors to the operating room opened and a doctor wearing scrubs came out. Two nurses were by his side.

"We're looking for the husband of Yn, Ln"

"That is me"

Oikawa quickly stand up from his seat and approach the doctor. He was then escorted to an empty room where the two nurses silently left him and the doctor to discuss the aftermath of the procedure.

With his heart beating loudly, Oikawa eagerly fired questions to the doctor.

"How is she?  How's my wife?  My baby?  Were you able to save them?  When can I see them?"

The doctor resignedly took of his mask.

"I'm sorry to inform you,  Oikawa-san but the baby didn't make it. Your wife had a spontaneous miscarriage. It has no specific cause. Women in their first trimester or early pregnancy are more prone to experience it that's why stress must be avoided at all times especially during this sensitive period in a womans' body."

Oikawa felt like being doused in cold water. He stayed frozen while staring at the doctor who looked grim. After seeing all that blood came out on his wife,  he already knew deep inside that they lost the baby but he simply refused to believe it. He hang on to that tiny hope that maybe their unborn baby can be saved.

He shakily gulped, feeling his heart break. The pain was intense. They were looking forward to the arrival of their first child and for this to happen-

"What about my wife? Can I see her now?" He was hurting. Greatly. But he couldn't imagine how his wife was faring. She was the one carrying their child, after all. He wanted to comfort her and be there for her.

"I-" the doctor stopped and cleared his throat. Oikawa felt something amiss. Like an impending doom but he quickly tried to shoo the thought away.

"Doctor, how is she? I want to talk to her as soon as possible."

"That is another matter I must discuss with you, Oikawa-san."

The nerves were killing him and it took all his self restraint to not jump across the table and force the surgeon to speak at once.

"There was.. a complication while we were taking the fetus out of her. The amount of blood was greater than what it should been. We quickly transfused blood into her but it wasn't enough. We tried to resuscitate her but in the end she.. died due to heamorrhagic shock."

For a moment, Oikawa forgot how to breath. The world around him turn to black and white and the only words resounding in his mind was that she's dead, she's dead repeatedly.

It didn't fully sink in yet. Until he saw his wife, his beloved Yn, lying still in the operating room. Her face was pale under the glare of OR lights. And if he didn't know any better, it looks as if she is only sleeping peacefully after a long day. But as he caress her cold cheeks, no more warmth emanating from those cheeks he love to kiss so much, he was slapped with the bitter reality that she's not coming back.

No more warm smiles and sweet kisses from his wife as he return home after a long day at work. No more delicious meals waiting for him at the table as they talked about what happened during their day. No more cuddles and whisper of i love you's in the darkness of the night as they lay entangled from the after event of making love.

The perfect picture of a happy family with their son/daughter shattered in his mind as he loudly grieved for the loss of his family.

Kami-sama if you are real,  please let me return back time. Let me be with my family again. Please give me a chance to make things right...

Oikawa loudly gasped as if coming back to land after drowning. He find himself gazing at the ceiling in their room. It was dark. Where was he?

A slight shuffle and then,

"Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare, Tooru?"

That sweet, melodious voice.

Oikawa slowly turn towards the source of sound to see, much to his relief, his beloved wife gazing at him with concern while rubbing the sleep out her eyes.

"Yn-chan" He choked, lunging at her to give her the tightest embrace.

"Woah there,  big guy" You chuckled,  patting his back. You stilled when you felt something wet trickled down your neck.

"I'm so glad! So glad to be with you, Yn!" The pure, raw emotion coming from your husband surprised you as he continued to sob on your neck, clinging to you like a lost baby.

"Please don't ever leave me again!  Kami-sama,  thank you for bringing her back to me!" Oikawa yelled, voice muffled as he continued to shove his face around your neck.

"What has happened to you, dear?" You worriedly asked and pull his face away to wipe some of his tears.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You suggested,  talking about his nightmare.

"No need, love. I just want to say that I *kiss* love *kiss* you *kiss* so damn much!"

You giggled at his affection, loving his kisses.

"Oh and how many months are you again?"

"Silly, did you forget? I'm just two months along. 7 months to go"

Oikawa heaved a sigh of relief. Turning to your stomach,  he leaned down and pulled up your shirt.

"Hey,  little one. I'm so excited to meet you. But for now,  be good for mommy, okay?" Placing a sweet kiss to your stomach,  you smiled at your husbands' attention as you run your fingers through his hair. Oikawa gladly reciprocate your smile with his own.

This time, I'll love you with all of my heart. I won't make the same mistakes again. We will be a happy family, Yn.

Extended ending:

"Yes you heard it right. You're fired." Oikawa coldly said to his assistant. The one who destroyed his past life and made him and his wife suffer.

"But! I-" she whined pathetically, trying to win his sympathy by acting like a pitiful slut. But Oikawa was having none of it.

"I said. Get. Out." The fiery glare in his eyes send shivers down her spine and she immediately booked her way out of his office,  whining like a bitch along the way.

Another extended ending:

7 months later, you tiredly smile at the little bundle of joy in your arms. After 18 hours of grueling labor, you finally had your healthy, baby boy.

"I'm so proud of you." Oikawa wiped the sweat along your forehead as he softly kissed you.

"Thank you for bringing our baby to this world. You make me the happiest person alive, Yn. I love you two so much and I swear to protect you both for the rest of my life." He whispered, tears springing in his eyes at the emotional moment.

"As do I,  Tooru. As do I." You swore,  sealing that promise with sweet kiss.

Fin

[boldbrash-fandertrash]

Ignore me, unless I’m right in which case I fucking called it

So I was rewatching the episode for the fourth time and one I realized that Remus is much much smarter than we give him credit for and two I can generally predict how the rest of the story is gonna go.

We’re gonna have another aside video with Patton and Janus before the big season finale, and that aside is going to be one of the most important videos to the general progression of the plot.

I’m sure you’ve noticed the pattern so far, two sides who diametrically oppose each other being forced to work together on a problem they vastly disagree about, usually turning the small issue into something much messier than it ever would be and them learning something about themselves in the process.

Each pairing exists to point out to the viewer exactly what issues exist with each side that need some form of resolving, and the big unifying theme amongst them is “you’re not listening to me”. Roman and Virgil dragging Thomas across the cafeteria in favor of or agains him talking to Nico, Logan and Remus deliberately ignoring and working to undo the others work in an attempt to break Thomas out of the depressive funk he found himself in. Nobody is working together here. The only side to even remotely cooperate with the group was Virgil body checking Thomas into Nico, and it took him and Roman bullying each other and Thomas for an entire video to even get to that point.

Watching Logan and Remus interact, one, brought me immense joy and I will be chasing that high for weeks to come, and two, after an ounce of critical thinking was frankly painful to watch. Any critiques Logan offered to Remus were immediately discarded with absurdity and any critiques Remus offered to Logan were discounted as absurd.

During the obvious scene at the end with the Eyes™️, Logan claimed he wasn’t pretending Remus didn’t exist, but honestly, he kinda was.

The Dunce Cap Scene really accentuates this point. Logan pulls a holier than thou, why won’t you learn I’m always right, bullshit passive aggressive remark, Remus does his dramatic repenting student shtick, starts singing directly into Logan’s ear, and makes a kink joke. Literally the words Remus sings are “can’t fix this guy, all by yourself”. Remus is saying this inches from Logan’s personal face and even still the logical side ignores him outright, because of all the fluff around the message. Hell, in Remus’s introduction video, Logan likens him to a screaming baby on a plane, essentially saying “well eventually he’ll stop screaming so just bear with it for a while and you’ll be fine”. He’s ignoring Remus outright due to a preconceived notion and missing out on valuable information because of it.

The dunce cap scene indirectly calls back to learning new things about ourselves, where Logan is completely unreceptive to the puppet bit because of its perceived absurdity and absolutely refuses to acknowledge any potential the medium might have for learning until he physically cannot anymore.

Remus is capable of, and does often, make valid points and offers genuine critiques of shit happening in their lives. In Forbidden Fruit, almost every single line harkens back to some idea the other sides had been trying, and failing, to communicate to Thomas. “Good and bad is all made up nonsense”, “if you shared those musings with your friends i doubt they would forgive you”, “why deny yourself knowledge, say, knowledge of yourself” “people don’t like me much, Thomas, but that only just cause I’m honest”, “these sorts of things are only thought in the mind of a man who’s soul is truly rotten.”

Despite all of this, he is ignored outright because of his medium. Just like Logan is ignored due to his monotone cadence and large volume of content, just like Roman is due to his flair for the dramatic and artistic display of ideas, just like Patton is due to his playful and childlike nature, just like Janus is due to his perceived role as the Villain, just like Virgil /was/ due to his perceived role as the villain.

They all have become accustomed to being stepped on by the other sides because of who they are and how they communicate, and have in turn learned some less than ideal methods of being heard again. Logan yells and gets passive aggressive, Remus ups the fear factor for everyone around him, Roman shuts down anyone who tries to talk through bullying and raising his voice, Patton manipulates the others into feeling guilt and covers it up with a smile, Virgil whips out the tempest tongue and incites fear in Thomas, and Janus physically silences anyone in his way.

And here’s why I say the next asides episode is going to be the most important one developmentally. Patton and Janus are going to be forced to work together. Patton, who is in the midst of an identity crisis, and willing to listen to any new ideas provided they offer a valid solution to the shit he’s found himself in, and Janus, who knows a lot more than he’s willing to let on, who concerns himself exclusively with Thomas’s self preservation, and loves to talk when given the opportunity. Janus is gonna have a thing or two to say to Patton when they’re inevitably faced with their moral dilemma, and Patton is going to be in just the right mindset that he’s willing to listen. And Janus is going to end up being right, and the small issue they’re facing will be resolved, which will therefore strengthen Patton’s trust, and his openness to changing for the better.

Patton is goofy, and childish, and kinda ditzy sometimes, and because of that we as a fandom tend to overlook any of his moments that are anything but that, but we are not giving this man enough credit. When Patton sets his heart on something, he throws his whole self into it, and is willing to stand up for his beliefs in the face of extreme opposition, and would gladly do anything in his power to defend his family. Once Patton decides that he’s willing to grow, and if he believes that this growth will help put his family back together, nothing can stop him, and that will be absolutely crucial for the growth of all the other sides around him.

Whatever him and Janus discuss during their aside will absolutely give Patton the information he needs to help stitch together the rift between everyone.

I predict the next official Sanders Sides video is going to be the longest one yet, possibly over an hour long, because there’s a LOT of work that is going to need to be done, and Everyone is going to be in it. The big issue of “you’re not listening to me” won’t be resolved, but it will be acknowledged in a serious light by everyone. We won’t be getting any appearances from the Orange Side I don’t think, that would end up just complicating matters even more when each character is already incredibly shaky in their own identity.

Something less than ideal is gonna happen between Thomas and Nico, he’s gonna summon the initial three to deal with the matter but the other lads are gonna worm their way into the discussion, everyone’s gonna start screaming at each other, and Pattons gonna do something that stuns everyone else into silence (I’m guessing he’ll start crying, considering the start of season two was all about him repressing negative emotions and what better way to show character growth than to sob openly on camera).

Once everyone just fucking stops for ten seconds that’s when the apologies start. None of the sides are ever the first to apologize, we’ve seen that time and time again. Their desire to be in the right as well as their pride will always get in the way, however if someone starts the apology train everyone will eventually follow suit. We see that in Alone On Valentines Day, My Negative Thinking, Growing Up, Accepting Anxiety, Fitting In, Moving On, actually in pretty much every video where an apology actually takes place, once one person apologizes the other will immediately follow suit.

Patton is gonna be a goddamn mess, he’s gonna apologize to everyone in the room for anything he thinks he may have done to wrong them, and that’s gonna be what gets everyone to acknowledge all the shit they’ve put each other through, and the others are going to jump between trying to console him and trying to apologize to each other. They’re going to come to the unified decision that they need to work together more on future issues, the group is all going to offer up a solution and decide together on a remedy to whatever happened together between Thomas and Nico, and that will be that. Season three will be about them finding the balance between stepping on toes and being stepped over, while also working out how the orange side fits into everything.

Thus marking the end of my rant.

I started writing this at 2 and it’s now 4. I have to be up in three hours. I have an essay due at 3pm tomorrow that I haven’t started, but instead I typed up all this bullshit. I hope any of this made any sense, and I hope this is a suitable replacement for my emotions essay that’s completely untouched because chances are this is what I’m presenting to my therapist tomorrow. Wish me luck.

[sugarcubetikki]

The Scarf - Mr. Pigeon 72 Endcard

@8unnix2​ pointed out the huge presence of the scarf in the endcard.

It's funny how they particularly featured Adrien wearing that scarf in most of the posters out of all the gazillion pictures they could have used. They pretty much threw it right in our faces. Foreshadowing? Symbolism?

I have an own idea of my own. It may be a bit of a stretch.

Umbrella Scene 2 created a turning point in terms of Marinette expressing herself.

It reflected her growing and becoming more direct with her feelings.

A big obstacle in previous episodes was her inability to express her feelings, she'd never be able to express her feelings clearly. She kept sending Adrien mixed messages throughout the seasons.

However, this scene presents her taking a step forward, and clearly expressing what she wants. Instead of creating a complicated scheme or doing something stupid like saying the opposite of what she actually wants like she would've done previously.

No complications. No schemes. She straight-up asks him whether he wants to walk home with her. And that's what drives their interaction in the scene.

That conveys a shift in status quo. It reflects her learning to express her feelings clearly.

Despite her still struggling, despite her stammering, she's taken a step forward to clearly express her feelings.

And that's important to note.

I want to go back to an essential scene in the NY special.

The one where Nino and Alya discuss why Adrien and Marinette can never get closer.

Nino: Yup. I love Adrien, but he's like a baby chick that's just started cracking out of his egg. He has a hard time understanding the signals people send him.

Alya: What signals? Marinette isn't exactly sending them clearly. I mean, look! What is she doing with her arms? Telling him what to do in case of an emergency landing or something?

Nino: If only this trip could help Adrien finally come out of his shell.

Alya: And if only it could help Marinette be more honest with herself and clearer about her feelings!

The two problems that Alya and Nino highlight here are:

Marinette being unclear about her feelings.

Adrien's difficulty in "cracking out of his shell".

These are the reasons every time why Marinette and Adrien can never seem to get closer.

Marinette keeps sending Adrien mixed signals and this poor oblivious boy who's been confined to his home his entire life faces difficulty in understanding her, he's not very good with social cues in the first place, she confuses him even more. That's what contributed to miscommunication/lack of communication between them.

NY didn't really resolve this problems. It's intention was never to resolve. It's intention was to address them and build on them but never to completely resolve them. As these issues have existed for a really long time, and it takes a lot more than one special to solve them. It's part of their character arcs.

However, for Obstacle Number 1, Mr. Pigeon 72 was the turning point. Umbrella Scene 2 depicted Marinette being able to clearly express herself and carry a conversation with Adrien. It reflected that Marinette's is the closest to overcome that obstacle than ever! Which is really really good.

What about Obstacle Number 2...

Adrien's difficulty in "cracking out of his shell".

The way I interpret this phrase is that Adrien really needs to open up to his surroundings more. He's been in his little reserved shell for too long, and therefore faces difficulty in opening up to who he really is.

This was even addressed in Lies. Adrien's many masks to conceal his "real self".

His model mask and his Chat Noir self.

These are all sides to Chat.

His model image is who is father wants him to be.

Him as Chat is who he wants to be.

But is it who he really is?

His model image is to be an image of perfection.

Him as Chat is meant to be his cheerful side.

But they conceal his insecurities, his awkwardness, his deeper feelings in most cases.

They conceal his trauma.

They conceal his desires.

They conceal how scared he actually is.

He maintains these images to everyone. He doesn't want to open up to who he really is. He doesn't want to show anyone that shy, awkward, broken boy. And that is reasonable. Because that's not something you want everyone to see. But Adrien masks himself to people who want to help him. He masks it completely. It's really important that Nino mentions him cracking out of his shell.

Because Nino is the first person who saw that awkward boy on their very first day.

He saw how bad he felt with the whole incident. He saw how bad he wanted to fix things with Marinette. He saw how much it hurt for him that he felt like he messed up on his first ever day of school, and how he was clueless with what to do, with how socially incapable he is.

Adrien doesn't how to present himself. He can't open up to his surroundings. He's wears too many masks because that's what he's used to, that's what he's comfortable with. He hasn't interacted with people enough to know that it's okay to open up and express some sides to yourself that you'd think people wouldn't like (screw Gabriel for raising him to be a perfect child).

Obstacle Number 2 hasn't had its turning point yet. It still exists. The reason why it's important that Adrien opens himself up more in terms of Adrienette development is to prevent miscommunication and misunderstandings between them. Things that have been happening for the past few seasons. They need to be able to interact and understand each other better.

Coming back to the actual reason I made this post: the scarf.

The reason why the scarf is such a strong symbol to the audience is because Adrien is oblivious that Marinette is the one who made the scarf.

His under the illusion that the scarf is from his father, not Marinette.

The scarf represents his obliviousness.

Firstly, that connects with him being unaware of Marinette's feelings, which is mainly reliant on her unclear form of expressing herself, but it also shows that they're more obstacles between them than what's in their control.

Secondly, the illusion that it's from his father does build on how eager Adrien is for his father's affection, and how much he wants to believe it. But he's oblivious to his father's true intentions with this mindset, he's chasing after something that's bound to break.

Thirdly, being under his father's arm, conveys him being in his shell. He has to live up to a perfect image. Restrict himself from the world. All whilst blindly believing in his father despite his intentions. It shows that Adrien can't carry on like this. He needs to break out of this shell. He can't be perfect anymore. He shouldn't restrict himself. And he shouldn't blindly believe someone who's doing something horrible.

The massive presence of the scarf in the endcard could foreshadow a similar/sibling scene to Umbrella Scene 2.

The scarf reveal.

It's really important as this happens because it destroys everything that prevented Adrien from opening up.

He's made aware of Marinette's intentions. Causing him to see her in a much brighter light. A different life. And he's drawn to open up with her even more. It pulls them closer. She did this to make him happy. And that'll strike a chord within him that'll make him want to open up with her.

But it'll also hurt Adrien. That illusion is broken. That illusion where he thought his father actually did something affectionate and nice for him once. He's been believing and treasuring that illusion since the very beginning. He can't trust it anymore. Hope for his father, the prime reason for him being in his shell, is going to crack a little, and so is his shell, and it'll make him want to strive out of it more.

If Umbrella Scene 2 fixed Obstacle Number 1 with a turning point of Marinette striving to clearly express herself, let loose and dance in the rain for Adrienette development and Marinette development.

A Scarf Reveal will fix Obstacle Number 2 leading to Adrien to open himself up more (especially with Marinette), try to become more aware of his surroundings instead of being trapped under illusions of oblivion. Paving way for another turning point in  the Adrienette dynamic and contributing to Adrien's character development.

It's a lovely win-win situation.

[taetaespeaches]

“I hate fighting with you.”

jungkook x reader (or oc) genre: fluff; angst word count: 3.7K

a/n: Hi lovelies! Here is the resolution to the fight between Jungkook and Holly in, “You think I’d leave you if you falter?” Turns out, these two are pretty damn good at resolving conflicts. This features a little bit of Kid (over the phone). Parts of this are loosely based on ‘seven’ by Taylor Swift. I hope you all enjoy, and as always, thanks for reading! :)) 

YEARS of compartmentalizing feelings were coming in handy as you worked on the conclusion of your essay. However, it was becoming increasingly difficult to write when all you wanted to do was sprint to the dorm and figure things out with your boyfriend.

For about the thirtieth time since he walked out, after you asked him to leave, you checked your phone. You wanted to text or call him. Things got out of hand and you never meant to lay all of that on him in that moment. It should have come out in a proper conversation, where both of you could listen to each other calmly without emotions being so high.

Your heart hadn’t stopped racing since he left, and your anxiety was only intensifying. The more time that went by, the less focused you were on writing, your ability to keep the fight concealed in a box in your mind dwindling. Your feelings were spilling out throughout your mind and body, the sadness and disappointment flooding your thoughts.

Your phone started ringing and you reached for it instantly, breathing out with a huff when you saw it was not Jungkook but rather “The Queen”, your close friend, who was also Yoongi’s girlfriend.

Completely unsure of how to handle the fight, you resorted to texting the girl, knowing she usually handed out amazing advice, and also knowing that she and Yoongi had some difficult times early on in their relationship. Though the issues were different than hers and Yoongi’s, you thought she might be able to provide some insight as to how to handle conflict when both parties obviously love each other and want things to work. 

Answering the phone, you greeted her with a sigh before saying, “Hello.”

“Hey, bubs,” she greeted, sympathy lacing her tone.

“I shouldn’t have asked him to leave, should I have?” You asked her, hearing her sigh into the phone.

“I mean, it’s complicated, you’re working on an essay. That’s important,” she reminded you.

“But now it looks like I’m prioritizing my assignment over Jungkook,” you whined, feeling like a complete asshole.

“And? What’s the issue with that?” She asked bluntly.

“I just don’t want to hurt him, I guess, I don’t know,” you explained.

“Jungkook understands deadlines, he’s not going to see it as you prioritizing something above him, it’s just sometimes things do rank higher in immediate importance. It was just shit timing, he gets that,” she told you, you humming in response.

“Yeah I guess,” you agreed, thinking about the situation.

“The kid may act like a selfish jerk sometimes but he’s not actually a selfish jerk,” she reminded you. “I mean but throwing a tantrum over the dishes? Really? Remind me to fucking punch him next time I see him.”

You let out a light laugh at the comment.  

“Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself or your responsibilities,” she told you.

You groaned, your friend waiting patiently for your next words. “I know, you’re right. I just hate this feeling so much, we’re usually so in sync and now I just dumped all this stuff on him and he had no idea I had any of these feelings. I mean, you should have seen his face, dude, he was devastated.”

“No matter how in sync you two usually are, you’re still two individuals with different thoughts and emotions and that means communication isn’t always going to go easy,” she said, pausing for a moment as you both sat in silence. “Neither of you should have taken your stress out on each other, but it happens. And as for the deeper-rooted issues you laid out there, those do need to be addressed. Again, maybe shit timing, but it’s necessary to have those complicated conversations,” she pointed out.

“I just don’t want to lose him,” you admitted, tears forming in your eyes as your voice quavered. “I’m so scared I fucked it all up.”

“Oh my god, you didn’t,” she immediately negated. “Things may feel heavy right now but this doesn’t mark the end of anything. Jungkook is in this with you. He’s just going to be even more determined now to make sure you feel loved, and if he doesn’t, he’s not worth it to be completely honest,” she told you, you thinking about the words. “Look, I know he loves you. I mean, honestly, it’s a good thing that I actually adore you because I don’t think I’ve had a conversation with the guy since you two met where he didn’t bring you up,” she lightly laughed, you scoffing as you chuckled.

“Ok, same though, I can’t shut the fuck up about him either,” you admitted.

“Yeah, I know,” she laughed, “you two are annoying.”

“Says you, little miss, honey boy this, honey boy that,” you teased her, your friend gasping in feigned offense.

“Whatever, I can’t stand that dude,” she joked, both of you fully aware of how fond she was of Yoongi.

“Is he home?” You asked.

“No, he’ll probably be in the studio all night. I might head over there in a little bit and just sleep there,” she told you, but the information had your heart clenching. If Yoongi was pulling all-nighters in the studio, Jungkook’s current work stress was probably more intense than he was letting on.

“Look, finish your essay and then call him. And if you can’t focus on the essay, then maybe call him now. You don’t have to figure everything out right at this moment, but maybe reaching out and letting him know that you do want to figure it out as soon as possible will help both of you relax,” she told you, the words resonating with you as you realized that’s all you wanted in this moment. Just to give and receive assurance that everything would be ok soon.

“Thank you,” you pouted, tears forming in your eyes again. “I feel a lot better now. Like, still shit but at least better.”

“You know it’s not a problem,” she dismissed her role in helping you. “Everything will be just fine, let me know how it all goes, ok?”

“I will,” you told her. “Thank you, I love you.”

“Love you too,” she replied before the line went dead.

As soon as the call ended, you were tapping on your phone, preparing to call Jungkook, when your front door suddenly opened. Snapping your head in the direction of the intruder, startled by the sudden entrance, you found your boyfriend, his fluffy hair windswept and amess on top his pretty head.

“Sorry,” Jungkook muttered in apology for your frightened expression. His eyes were wide and doe-like as always, but you could see their reddened coloring and the puffiness from across the room. He came back, and that was all the assurance you needed to know that everything would be ok.

“Jungkook,” you breathed out, preparing to stand up from your spot on the floor, your back against the sofa, but he held a hand out to halt you.

“No, no, don’t get up,” he told you. “Is your essay done?”

“Jungkook,” you repeated, but he ignored you, instead striding towards you and looking overtop you at your laptop screen. “I’m at the conclusion.”

“That’s good, right?” He asked, his eyes adorably innocent as they stared at you from above.

“I’m losing focus,” you whined pathetically, Jungkook frowning.

“Because of me?” He asked, the hurt and regret evident in his features.

“It’s not your fault,” you told him sincerely, Jungkook giving you a disbelieving look. “It’s not, baby, it’s not just on you.”

“Can I sit with you as you finish?” He suddenly asked, his expression hopeful but nervous, as if you just might turn him down. How could you ever?

“Yeah,” you barely spoke through a whisper, nodding a couple times. “Can we talk?”

“We will, I promise,” he assured you, bending down as he cradled your face in between your hands. “After you finish this, ok? For now, just know I love you and I’m here because I want to work through this.”

He left a kiss to your forehead, you pouting in response to his affection. Stepping away, he stretched out across the sofa, laying his head to the side of yours, placing his hand at the back of your head. As he massaged the spot gently, you leaned into the touch before taking a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Thank you for coming back,” you told him. “I want to work through this too.”

You felt his lips press to the top of your head, accompanied by a whispered, “I know, baby.” With that, you took one more deep breath, refocusing on the assignment.

You tapped the keys on your laptop, the thoughts flowing to you much easier in the presence of Jungkook, his hand staying at the back of your head to soothe you and remind you of his care for you. Time went by fairly quickly, for you at least, as you wrapped up the essay and went back through it, cleaning up sentences, fixing thoughts, and ensuring your citations were done correctly.

“Okay,” you said through an exhale, Jungkook sitting up to look over your shoulder at the screen.

“Is it done?” He asked, his tone sweet.

You hummed, looking toward him. “I don’t know, I think it’s as good as it’s gonna get,” you told him, Jungkook moving his gaze from the computer to you. “Would you mind reading it for me?”

Your boyfriend quickly sat up, crossing his legs underneath him as he held his hands out for you to give him the laptop. “How much time do you have left?” He asked as you placed the device into his hold.

“Twenty-one minutes,” you told him through a scrunched-up face, Jungkook smiling slightly.

“Ok, that’s plenty of time, you’re good,” he assured you just before he began reading. You watched him intently as he read through the essay, your lips occasionally quirking up as he’d nod his head, physically responding to your points.

Endearing. If you could only choose one word for Jungkook, which was just not enough words for the man sitting next to you, you thought you’d choose endearing. Your boyfriend was so gentle and kind and considerate and thoughtful, and observing him in that moment, you wondered how he could ever make you feel as though you had to be perfect to keep his love.

But maybe that was the issue. He was never messy, emotional, frenzied, rarely moody, and even less so selfish. As you stared at him, you began realizing that it wasn’t actually the way he praised you or very occasionally nagged you, but was rather entirely your perception of him that made you feel inadequate. And how could that be his fault?

Jungkook’s voice broke through your thoughts as he met your gaze with his bright orbs. “It’s really good, baby.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, I had no clue what you were talking about in the beginning,” he smiled slightly, you letting out a light chuckle, “but by the end I feel like I could explain to someone else what you wrote about.”

“Are you sure?” You asked doubtfully.

“I’m sure,” he told you. “Turn it in.”

Sighing, you nodded. “Ok,” you agreed. “I don’t have time to change anything anyways,” you smiled, Jungkook giggling.

“It’s great,” he told you once more, handing you the laptop. He watched as you attached the file to the module, your pointer hovering over the submission button. “Do it,” he whispered encouragingly, you pressing the button with a giggle.

“Well, if I failed, I failed,” you looked to him, Jungkook rolling his eyes with a shake of his head.

“What was going on? You’re usually so quick with your essays. I mean, you’re an amazing writer,” he stumbled over his words, you simply shrugging.

“I don’t even know, I think I was just having some sort of mental block,” you told him with a frown.

“Our fight definitely couldn’t have helped,” he noted sadly.

“Can we talk now?” You asked, Jungkook nodding immediately.

“Come here,” he patted the cushion in front of him, you standing up just to plant yourself on top of the couch. You both sat across from each other, face to face, legs crossed underneath yourselves.

“You know if you didn’t get that essay done in time, I would love you just the same, right?” He asked you, you looking at him thoughtfully. “Or if you get it back and it’s not the score you’re hoping for?” You prepared to respond, but his next words cut you off before you could begin. “I don’t love you because I think you’re perfect, I love you because you’re you.”

Exhaling, you licked your bottom lip, directing your eyes to Jungkook’s knee that was bumping against your own. “I do know that,” you told him.

“Yeah?” He asked, sincerely curious.

“I think I was wrong,” you admitted, meeting his eyes, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “I know you love me for me, as I am, but I’m still scared to show you me when I’m not at my best because I feel like I won’t be enough for you.”

“Baby-”

“Not because of how you treat me,” you quickly added, interrupting him. “But because I never see you be anything but this strong and collected person and I don’t want to be the one who’s always a mess while you’re totally fine.”

“I’m not always fine though,” he told you, his eyes sincere as he shook his head. “I handle my struggles pretty well, and I handle them alone, because I’ve never wanted to burden my members when they were going through their own shit,” he explained, you listening intently.

“It’s my fault,” he held his hand against his chest, “that you’ve never seen me in a vulnerable state. I’m so used to hiding my problems from other people that-” he paused, his eyes glistening with tears. “That I’ve hidden them from the one person I want to share them with.”

“You want to share them with me?” You asked, tears forming in your own eyes.

“I don’t want to burden you or worry you with my struggles, but at the same time, I want your help,” he told you, the admission tipping you over as you let out a quiet sob. Jungkook instinctively reached forward, placing his hands on your cheeks as he wiped tears away. “You’re gonna make me cry,” he told you through a giggle, his tears building up.

“I want to see them,” you pouted, immediately realizing how the words sounded. “Oh my god, that sounds so bad,” you whined, Jungkook’s smile spreading across his face as he laughed. “I just mean I want to be the person you can show that to,” you giggled.

“I know what you mean, baby,” he nodded. “I don’t want to hide any part of me from you anymore, ok?”

Nodding, you turned your head in his hold to leave a kiss to the side of his thumb. “I don’t either,” you whispered against his hand, Jungkook smiling in relief.

It was then that his tears fell, you looking at him in surprise as your crying was stopping due to the resolution. “Oh, baby,” you pouted, crawling forward to place yourself in his lap, Jungkook’s arms easily wrapping around you as he tucked his face into your neck.

“I hate fighting with you,” he cried against your skin, you cooing at his pure heart.

“Me too, baby,” you told him, running your hand soothingly over the back of his head. “Hey, we’re good at resolving things though,” you pointed out, Jungkook letting out a breathy laugh, tickling your neck.

Sniffling, he sat up straight, wiping his face carelessly with the back of his hand as he nodded. “We are pretty good at it,” he giggled. You watched as he resituated himself on the couch so he was reclined, holding his arms open for you to cuddle up next to him, which you did eagerly.

Looking up at his face, you saw the way his jawline slightly shined in the living room light, you pulling your sleeve over the palm of your hand to dab the tear residue from his face.

You both stayed in each other’s arms in silence for a little while, Jungkook’s breath becoming slower and more relaxed as you dragged your finger in patterns on his chest.

“Do you ever feel like you peaked at like, 11?” You asked, him, Jungkook pulling his chin into his neck to look down at you.

He looked at you thoughtfully, a small crease etched into the skin at the top of the bridge of his nose. “Yeah sometimes,” he agreed. “Maybe not 11, but sometime in childhood.”

“I wish you could have known me when I was a kid,” you told him. “When I was uninhibited, just being me with no apologies every day.”

“I wonder at what age we lose that sense of ourselves,” Jungkook thought out loud.

You hummed, still tracing invisible drawings across your boyfriend’s t-shirt covered chest. “I don’t know, I look at some people, like Tae and even his Peaches,” you both giggled fondly, “and I think that some people have managed to hold onto that part of themselves. Like even though they mature and grow up, they don’t lose that inner child. Even you,” you added.

“Do you think you’ve lost yours?” He asked, you puckering your lips in thought.

“Sometimes. I’m so controlled now, I used to be free. I wasn’t so concerned about concealing everything,” you explained, Jungkook nodding in understanding.

“She’s still in there,” he told you. “I’ve seen her, we’ve met a couple times. We’re acquaintances,” he smiled, you giggling at the comment. “She just needs to know it’s ok to show herself.”

“You’re really sweet,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. “What were you like as a kid?”

“I was a bit of a brat,” he grinned.

Laughing, you pulled a face of feigned shock. “No,” you said sarcastically.

“Can you believe it?” He joked, wrapping his arm around your waist a little tighter. “No, I was a brat but I was a good kid. I had a nice childhood.” You watched him thoughtfully, noticing he had more to say. You waited patiently for him to continue, dragging your fingers over his abdomen. “I just sometimes think it got cut short.”

Jungkook moved away from home much earlier than most people ever even thought of living away from their parents. You had no doubt that with his long days of training, he felt that his childhood ended earlier than it should have.

“I’m sorry baby,” you told him, feeling sympathetic for the younger version of your boyfriend.

“No,” he quickly shook his head. “I wouldn’t change anything, but it’s interesting to think about,” he told you, staring at the ceiling.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, my life could have been totally different. I’m happy with how it turned out, but, choosing a career as a kid, I don’t know, there’s a lot of opportunities that I never even got to consider.” You hummed in understanding, Jungkook letting out a scoff. “I sound ungrateful,” he pointed out, you quickly negating the comment.

“No, you really don’t. Everyone knows you’re grateful for what you have, but it’s ok to wonder about what your life would have been without all of this. And it doesn’t mean you wish things turned out differently, it’s just, like you said, interesting to think about.”

“I think the hyungs preserved as much of my childhood as they could,” he told you, and maybe even to himself. “That’s why I never wanted to burden them.”

Hearing him talk so fondly about his members brought tears to your eyes, and you could tell by the way Jungkook sniffled and coughed to clear his throat, he was becoming emotional as well.

“They’re amazing people,” you told him through a warm smile. “I love them a lot.”

The confession, which he already knew, made him look from the ceiling to you, your two teary sets of eyes meeting. You both giggled at each other and yourselves as Jungkook pulled a silly expression to lighten the mood.

“You know,” he started, the allusion in his tone piquing your interest. “I knew I was in love with you probably one month into knowing you,” he admitted, you smiling at the comment. “Which I don’t know if that’s early or too soon to tell, but I knew I felt it. But when we went and did karaoke that one night, that’s when I was so sure that I couldn’t not tell you.”

You remembered the date vividly. You went and did karaoke with Jungkook, his members, and their girlfriends, and well… Peaches. You had only met them all a few times before that, but somehow, you felt like you belonged with them.

“I didn’t know that,” you smiled brightly. “That’s why you confessed that night?”

At the end of the night, everyone went their separate ways, and as you and Jungkook were walking to your apartment, he told you he loved you.

“Yeah,” he giggled in slight embarrassment. “Watching you get along so well with everyone and seeing them treat you as their own friend, I just, I knew.”

Your eyes glistened again, Jungkook’s own bambi eyes looking at you with a sheen. You groaned in disgust of your cute moment, adding, “We’re really cute, aren’t we?”

Jungkook laughed at your comment and expression, nodding in agreement. “We’re really cute, baby.” Sighing, you crawled up his body so you were eye level with him. “Maybe even the cutest,” he added teasingly, his eyes flickering to your lips.

“You might be right,” you whispered, your lips barely grazing his own, Jungkook smiling before placing a hand at the back of your head, lifting his face toward yours to kiss you firmly.

The kiss was messy with smiles and giggles, forgiveness and acceptance His hand left your head to wrap around your lower back, pulling your body as flush with his as it could be.

“I love you,” you breathed out, mumbling against his mouth, Jungkook purposefully nudging your nose with his.

“I love you so much,” he replied, the words just as mumbled as yours.

And fuck, you really did love each other. And maybe he was right. Perhaps you were the cutest.

[ramblingguy54]

Edalyn Clawthorne: A Loner Created Through Tragedy

     Seeing what happened to Edalyn’s father in Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door greatly explains why she looked so saddened by Lilith talking about hanging around their dad more by Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances conclusion. She harbors a lot of guilt in scratching his face up badly from years ago. After an incident like that for someone around an age that young in their life definitely contributed to Eda’s resolve of keeping herself away from others not just solely because of her own ideals about magic and how to properly use it, but also to prevent more people from getting badly hurt because of the owl curse, too. It’s sad to look back on what Lilith said to her mother, “Mom, I heard you, but I couldn’t stop myself.”, because that’s exactly what Eda went through when she attacked her dad. 

     No matter what her father could’ve said it wouldn’t have reached Edalyn, due to not having much experience with controlling the curse at that time. The amount of guilt running through Edalyn’s mind after coming back to her senses must’ve been unbearable as Hell. It’s already bad enough when hurting random people under a nasty spell, but to injure someone who helped bring you into the world? Anyone would want to put a large gap between themselves after such an awful experience of this magnitude. Season 2 of The Owl House has been doing a lot of great things in its story, such as showing more of Eda’s vulnerability being the point of my post I’d like to delve more into about.

     Eda’s development of opening up emotionally more in Season 1 was certainly good, however we didn’t get a real look into what makes Edalyn who she is as a whole. Season 2 has been allowing more in-depth exploration about why she guards herself as frequently as possible from others. It isn’t a matter of, “I like being a loner, who lives by their own rules about how our world operates.”, rather it centers around, “I’m a bad influence and don’t want to hurt others I care deeply about, or even possibly could grow to, because of my cursed affliction.”. Gwendolyn stating her curse was something that should be cut it out if need be certainly didn’t help in contributing to Eda’s loner nature she develop onward. These moments made her feel ashamed as if she didn’t deserve to be apart something greater like a family, having friends, or finding her own respective lover to boot.

     Eda’s long amount of solitude made her into a more powerfully independent and capable person, magically speaking, but it came at a serious cost of something important, one’s own self-esteem. The curse stunted Eda’s emotional growth for a very long while in having to take up the mantle of being unable to face her fears head on. Even in spite of her lesson to Raine about not running away from your own demons, the saying of practice what you preach rang unfortunately true here. Edalyn has been a very closed off person for so many years, where the idea of having to present yourself to someone else, warts and all, scared this witch away into living in seclusion at her Owl House. Despite gaining a family eventually through Luz & King, Eda never told them about her curse until it happened, wasn’t big on showing affection, and struggled with teaching Luz consistently in a good chunk of Season 1.

     Eda’s biggest challenge to overcome has been actually letting people into her life which costed her a healthy social lifestyle, became distant toward the Clawthorne family tree, and resulted in Raine calling off their romantic relationship. They were tired of Eda’s distant attitude in not being able to commit emotionally with expressing more of her compassion, vulnerability, or love either. This is something problematic Eda’s Requiem did explore too when King wanted to speak with Eda, yet she kept on either changing the subject last second, or made up a convenient excuse to hold off on discussing this matter. Edalyn was afraid of change because she had finally become used to King being around for so long. Knowing Luz would have to leave inevitably hurt already, so now finding out King possibly wanted to go find his actual father and stay there with him instead scared Eda outta her mind in facing a reality without the both of them. 

     Change is a word for Eda that’s a thing she never wants to hear. It’s why she makes the decisions that went on to define her serious solitude. Eda is used to being alone without having to rely on much of anyone else, but that doesn’t mean she obviously has enjoyed it, either. Edalyn only lived in seclusion because she thought it was necessary for safety reasons not outta love for a hermit lifestyle. The tragedy of Eda’s personal background is she allowed this curse to rule over her life for those three decades. Now, to be fair, Gwendolyn contributed to Eda’s baggage with viewing her curse as a disgusting attribute does indeed share the blame here in these events, but regardless Edalyn made unwise decisions she clearly regrets. The biggest ones being not letting anyone, as seen with Raine, get closer to her and avoiding changes to a status quo in Eda’s complicated life. What happened to Eda’s dad was obviously not her fault whatsoever, as it was entirely out of her control. However, Eda’s choice to live in seclusion away from many, make things impossible for a healthy honest relationship work with Raine, and running away from King’s possible separation in Requiem’s story paints a different picture on Eda’s loner nature. 

     Eda may try to carry herself as this loner with a sassy attitude, but it’s all just a facade to mask deeper issues of self-esteem, loneliness, and regrets. I find it so beautiful in how she didn’t want Luz running away from her feelings to Amity because she didn’t want her to make the same mistake, like what happened with Raine. Eda let her fear of commitment get to herself and it caused nothing but a mountain of regrets, so she’s correcting this flawed mindset through helping Luz & Amity’s romance. Like, real talk, the way Owl House has explored LGBTQ+ has been simply excellent in building organic romances with Luz/Amity & Eda/Raine, but still giving important development to their characters in making sure their sexuality isn’t the only defining trait they have. That’s been like a pet peeve of mine when incorporating representation for this community of people. I’m all for seeing this kind of equality in fictional entertainment, but don’t make this the only thing that defines their characterization as a whole and Owl House totally understands this about using LGBTQ+ related content.

     Season 2 of Owl House has been greatly expanding upon Eda’s emotional dilemmas around her curse, which I love as it deepens this character’s motivations on bettering herself. Edalyn has become a super relatable mentor figure in these recent episodes taking time to showcase the complexities of Clawthorne’s family dynamic being shaken by Eda’s curse and how she finally comes to term with it here in Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door. Rather than viewing it as a monster to be afraid of, Eda is viewing this creature as another living thing deserving to be treated as an equal and not a threat thanks to the help of those elixirs she drinks on a daily basis. I thought Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door would be a serious comedic breather, but instead it gave us more insight on this cast of main protagonists. Edalyn’s backstory revelations were such an amazing surprise, as I didn’t think we’d be getting to see her father this soon and what caused a big rift between the two, as well.

Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door exceeded my expectations in more ways than one. Season 2 of The Owl House has been continuing to impress me. 

[crash-hawk]

On the current shitstorm, complicated feelings, and Taking a Third Option

I haven't really spoken much about the allegations surrounding Dream and the effect that it's had on the MCYT community. As it currently stands, my position is essentially True Neutrality. I have no dog in this fight, and I don't plan to adopt one. Not now, at least, and maybe not ever. And initially, I was perfectly comfortable not talking about why. My anxiety, though, has finally started to break through to the point that I feel like I need to, if for no other reason than to wrestle my RSD demons into some semblance of submission.

Two nights ago, a very close IRL friend of mine, one of the two who got me into both Minecraft in general and MCYT in particular, made a similar statement to mine, discussing her neutral stance on the matter and giving her reasons for it. She was immediately attacked by people supporting both Dream and his accusers, to the point that she had to lock her Twitter for a day. Ultimately, she ended up more bemused than anything else, but seeing the language that was used against her upset me deeply.

This is going to be my only statement on this issue. I am neutral, and plan to remain neutral, but I want to emphasize as much as possible that all of the feelings that I have seen expressed here by the community after the allegations hit the 'net are valid.

The #1 reason that I have chosen neutrality with regards to the allegations themselves is that I do not believe any of this is my business. To paraphrase the old copypasta, I do not know these people IRL, and I don't feel that there is any way that this situation can resolve in a good or satisfying manner by the very nature of it playing out on social media, which I believe is inherently, dangerously unreliable. It fucking sucks.

Short of death threats or other grossly inappropriate behavior, I do not intend to shame, unfollow, or otherwise cut ties with any of my friends here in the MCYT community regardless of what position they take. I do understand if others choose to cut ties with me, although this is honestly the thing I fear the most.

I have massive, massive respect for those who have expressed their feelings of anger, betrayal, sadness, or disgust in a fan community that can be incredibly toxic. However, I also have a lot of respect for those that have said "I'm not going to jump to conclusions or take this at face value." My own emotions regarding the matter are complicated and not clearly defined right now.

I am not angry or upset about yesterday's livestream with Technoblade's father. It's pretty obvious to me that this event was planned well in advance, and that nobody involved would have had any way to predict that the allegations would come out so close in timing. The stream itself came off as overwhelmingly kind, genuine, and respectful. I do understand, though, why many people felt extremely uncomfortable about the timing and with Dream's presence in the stream.

I don't expect any other CCs to make a statement about their stance on the matter. They are human people, and they don't owe me that. They'll address the situation, or not, in their own time.

I've been a lot farther on the Hermitcraft and adjacent series side of the fandom than the DSMP side for a long time now. However, I still enjoy the story and the characters, and for right now, I feel like I can still enjoy them. I won't fault anyone for either feeling the same, or for feeling like they can't anymore.

I do not believe that ANYONE on the internet should be trying to prove or disprove the allegations. It isn't helpful to victim or accused, and it isn't going to bring anyone closure. I also don't believe it's my place to try to guess at the motivations behind the actions of the parties involved. If I'm going to be perfectly honest, I don't want to know.

A final note: for me, the thing that I've noticed that has left me taken aback has been the level of raw anger, directed not necessarily at the parties involved in the allegations, but by members of the community at other members of the community, whether it be in support of Dream or the women who came forward with the allegations. (As an aside, I am a crotchety old bird who hates 95% of internet social culture with a barely repressed fervor, and I think the whole "stan"/"anti" dichotomy is unbelievably weird and harmful, but that's a whole other can of worms.) This situation sucks on every single possible level. Please try to remember to be kind.

[051093]

shaking faith | 707

wc: 2958

pairing: saeyoung “707″ choi x reader

genre: canon compliant, angst w/ smidge of fluff, mutual pining, sad fic for sad boy

description: in which he comes to check on you after a fight, only to find you asleep — and he confesses things he shouldn’t have.

my masterlist.

Saeyoung has more work than ever, and he can’t do any of it.

Every time he finds himself close to being productive, his memory betrays him, bringing him back to fated encounter with Saeran a few days ago. His long lost twin brother with hair the color of cream and coral, turquoise irises like black holes. You, your back pressed against Saeran’s chest, your neck lodged in the crook of his arm as he threatened your life. The sentence you cried out, your frightened eyes swimming with tears—

I love you!

“Fuck,” he hisses, nimble hands lifting from the keyboard to knot in his crimson hair.

Try as he might, he can’t forget how your words made him feel: how high his heart leapt, how a tide of fierce happiness seemed to soothe every ache in his body. When the syllables left your lips, everything was okay, and you were just two young adults in love. He wanted so badly to cross the room and sweep you into his arms like he should’ve done on day one, to hold you close and promise you he’d spend the rest of his life shielding you from harm.

But the fantasy only lasted a few meager seconds, and reality returned like a dagger to his stomach: your life was in danger and Saeran was deranged. And both were his fault.

After Saeran had left and the countdown stopped, Saeyoung was left with a horrible clutter of emotions he couldn’t decipher, his head swimming with fear, confusion, hatred, betrayal, and hope all at once. He went into overdrive, like his laptop sometimes did when he had too many programs running, and he ran the last command he could: yelling at you.

“Luciel…” He hated that name but loved the way you said it then, so fondly and kindly that it filled his frozen heart with warmth. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help?”

“No,” he snapped back. “Not only that, but I don’t think you should be in the RFA anymore. Forget about us. Forget about the party. As soon as it’s safe, leave.”

Even without looking at you, he sensed the flash of hurt in your expression. “Why are you deciding my future?”

“Because I know what’s best for you.” He closed his eyes, exasperated. “Look, you’re free to do whatever you want, but my thoughts won’t change.”

“What are your thoughts?”

“This is nothing for a person like you to get involved in.” He swiveled, eyes ablaze. “ I am nothing for a person like you to get involved with. You’ll only get hurt, you understand me?”

“I’d like to decide that for myself,” you responded coolly.

“Then you’re asking for it,” he snarled. “The darkness, the loneliness, the heartbreak, the demons. When you’re engulfed in these things because of me, you’ll remember that you were stupid enough to want it.”

“I want you.” Your response came through louder and clearer than anything Saeyoung could’ve spat through his lying teeth. “I want you. Let me help you fight these demons. Let me guide you out of this darkness.”

“That’s…impossible,” he muttered, averting his gaze. “I need to work. Don’t bother me.”

You stood up from your seat, making long, confident strides across the apartment until you were standing so close that he could smell the lovely scent of your hair.

“Aren’t you being too one-sided?” You breathed. “What am I supposed to do about my feelings for you?”

His heart danced with a maddening flutter, but his face told a different story, contorting with rage. “I said don’t bother me!”

He hated the way you flinched and stepped back into the kitchen counter. He hated how sad you looked. He hated himself.

“I don’t care about your feelings, alright?” He spat. “Get your priorities straight. You’re living with a bomb right now.”

“Luciel—”

“You could’ve died today.” His voice cracked. “It’s not the time to think about your feelings for me. Just worry about staying alive, will you?”

You only blinked back. He wished he could shake some sense into you, he was so frustrated, but he knew he couldn’t—he couldn’t keep himself at a single touch.

“How can you be so naive? So calm?” He sighed deeply. “Please, Y/N, for the first time in your life, put yourself first. If you ever get hurt, I’ll…” He forgot how to speak. “I’ll…”

“I know,” you said, quietly but firmly, “that this is your way of caring about me.”

“Yeah, right,” he scoffed, but his voice lacked resolve and you both knew it. “You’re free to think whatever you want, because we’ll never see each other again once this hacker thing is resolved. Just do yourself a favor in the meantime: stop wasting your emotions on me.”

You looked like you wanted to touch him too, your hand twitching at your side, and he would’ve liked nothing more than for you to cradle his jaw with a caring hand, to smooth away the creases of stress in his face. But he was glad you didn’t.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Like he held all the stars in the sky, like he was the only man in the world. He turned, drawing his jacket closer to his chest. “God, this won’t do. I’m going out to the hallway and I’ll come back when you’re asleep. Sort yourself out in the meantime.”

Unable to look at you another time, he left the apartment, pacing in the hallway and muttering to himself agitatedly. He came back a few hours later to a dimly lit and silent apartment, indicators that you’d indeed fallen asleep. He drew out a chair, opened his laptop, and tried to work, juggling restoring the apartment’s security algorithm and getting Vanderwood and the agency off his ass. But it’s been a vicious cycle of almost focusing, remembering you love him, and losing any sense of concentration all over again, and he’s starting to think he won’t get anything done tonight no matter how much longer he spends staring at his screen.

He closes his laptop, turns off the light, and, without really thinking, makes his way to your room.

Cast in the soft glow of a night light, you’ve been reduced to a lump under the blanket in your unconscious state. Saeyoung slips soundlessly past the door and stands by your pillow, his golden gaze taking in the long lashes splayed against your cheeks, the subtle rise and fall of your breathing, the tousled hair that shrouds your face.

For as long as he’s known you, you’ve been headstrong, bold, outspoken; incredibly, unconditionally kind, always standing up for what you think is right. In the last few days, especially, you’ve been hovering over Saeyoung’s shoulder despite him begging you not to, drilling into his head to please use you as a resource; to let you help; to let you into his head and his heart. Between planning the party, communicating with the other R.F.A. members, and nagging at Saeyoung, you haven’t even stopped to take a breath. And his heart aches with contentment, so much that it nearly physically hurts, to see you so peaceful.

He comes to a crouch, and just being so close to you brings a flush of color to his cheeks. You’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen no matter what expression you’re wearing, but you look younger now that your face is absent of worry or sadness. He wishes he could capture your innocence right now and store it away in a place where the dangers of the world can never taint it.

He’d do anything to keep you from harm, to keep you so undisturbed, even if it means taking the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Y/N,” he breathes, your name hardly a whisper on his tongue. “You’re asleep.”

You don’t stir. Again, so naturally he barely thinks beforehand, he sweeps your hair from your face with a gentle hand, tucking the stray locks behind your ear.

“You’ve been talking all day, but you’re so quiet when you’re sleeping,” he continues. “You’re so damn weird, you know that? I had to have hurt you by saying all those things, but you still manage to be so bright…”

And thank goodness you’re asleep, because the way he’s looking at you right now and the tenderness in his words contradict everything he shouted at you earlier today.

“You’re so genuine and honest. And I’m just complicated and two-faced.” He takes a deep breath. “The 707 from the chatroom is optimistic, supportive, friendly…but that’s just a mask. This icy person, Saeyoung, is me. My background, my upbringing — everything about me is so dark and pessimistic that I will always be incapable of making you happy, no matter how much I wish I could. I want you to know that.

“You should get angry at me,” he mutters. “I wish you would once in a while. But no, you just have to be so understanding all the time. I can’t believe you’re real sometimes — that one person can be so wonderful, that I got so lucky to meet you.

“God, what am I doing? I — I clearly need to get some sleep. But before I go, I want to tell you this, Y/N, regardless of whether you can hear me or not.

“Don’t trust me.” He fights to keep his voice steady. “Don’t trust me, don’t trust V, and don’t trust anyone in the R.F.A. Please be less nice to me, so it’ll hurt less when I have to disappear. And, when I do, forget about me and be happy. Please. You have to be happy, okay?”

His trembling hand finds yours beneath the blanket and he squeezes gently, an unspoken farewell. He stays that way for a few heartbeats longer, then rises from his crouch and turns around, padding back towards the door.

“Saeyoung?”

His knees nearly give out from beneath him, he’s so shocked to hear your voice.

“Saeyoung,” you say again, and he slowly turns around, his breath batted.

Your beautiful eyes meet his, the blanket falling a little lower as you sit up. You’re wearing a white blouse that leaves your lovely neck and shoulders on full display. You’re so damn beautiful, your skin and hair set aglow by the soft light behind you, an angel sitting barely-clothed in bed with his name dangling from your sweet lips. He’s absolutely gutted. And panicked , because he’s nowhere near ready to have this conversation with you right now.

“How much did you hear?”

You hesitate. “Every word.”

He starts to turn away, face flushing with embarrassment.

“You don’t have to talk,” you say, and he stops in his steps. “I just…want to be with you tonight.”

He swallows around a dry throat. “I don’t think — ”

“Today was really scary,” you say, your voice softening. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep if I don’t have company.”

He stands still for what feels like entire minutes, his lower lip between his teeth, every limb in his body gravitating toward you but his head screaming at him to stay put.

“Please, Saeyoung?”

But his resolve crumbles around him like snow.

He sinks into the mattress beside you, his hands quivering with nervous energy. The two of you sit in silence for a few moments more, his amber eyes locked with yours as if asking what’s next. Then, there’s a rustle of blankets, a soft sigh — and you’ve wound your arms around his neck.

He caves at your slightest touch, and you feel the way the tension leaves his body, his shoulders sagging as you draw him close. He burrows his face in the crook of your neck and breathes in the sweet scent of your skin; relishes in your feather-light hands tracing comforting circles on his back, the warmth from your body and comfort from your care. You hold him tightly enough that he can’t slip away, gently enough that he won’t break, and, maybe for the first time in his whole life, he feels cared for. Protected.

The sound of your pulse nearly drowns out the sound of your voice, you’re speaking so quietly. “Is this okay?”

“This is perfect.” Saeyoung murmurs. He curls an arm around your waist, his hand accidentally riding up the hem of your blouse to brush against the warm, bare skin beneath, and he blushes a deep red that makes his hair look monochrome. “You’re perfect.”

He feels your breath catch in your throat, your heart skip a beat. “You can’t say things like that if you don’t want me to fall for you.”

“I know,” he sighs. “It just slipped out.”

For a while, the two of you lay in silence, wrapped up in each other’s arms with legs entwined beneath the covers, hearts beating in a rapid but perfect unison. Your fingers comb through his silky hair, your touch so soft and affectionate that Saeyoung’s eyelids begin to feel heavy, all of the troubling thoughts in his mind replaced by all that you are. It’s not until he begins to drift off does your voice taint the room’s silence once more.

“It’s not Seven or Luciel that I have feelings for, you know.” A beat. “It’s Saeyoung.”

And he’s wide awake again.

“The boy who came to my rescue recently. The boy who can be cold sometimes, but only because he cares so much that he feels as if he’ll drown in it all. His line of work forbids him from having friends and family, but he does — and he loves them more than anything, and he knows being friends with him will put them in danger.” You swallow. “He knows being in love with him is basically a death sentence.

“But he's worth it. Because danger is nothing compared to everything else that comes with being by his side: care, protection, kindness, laughter, and so much happiness.”

You dust a hand beneath his jaw, tilting his chin up so you can gaze into his eyes, and his heart is hammering so hard he swears you can feel it through the material of his T-shirt.

“I meant what I said earlier. It wasn’t just a spur-of-the-moment, impulsive declaration,” you whisper. “I love you.”

His breath hitches in his throat, his blood running cold, but the way his heart sings is unmistakable. He feels the same way and he knows it, no matter how hard he’ll try denying the truth.

“And I understand if you can’t feel the same way, but I only ask that, if this really is as temporary as you say, that you remember me.” Your voice trembles. “To remember, years from now, how my heart and my soul once belonged to you. How you once made me feel like I could fly. Like I was safe.”

Saeyoung hears your words echo long after you’ve finished talking. Everything about this has him approaching sensory overload — your confession, your fingers brushing his hair out of his face, your dilated pupils and breathy tone, the feeling of your skin beneath his hands and the tip of your nose just brushing his. In his stomach, a fire ignites where there’s only ever been small flames, and he does the only thing he can think of doing, the only thing he wants to do so badly that he no longer can control himself.

He closes the distance between you and kisses you, his hands tense on your hips and his face burning. For a horrible second, he wonders if he’s overstepped his boundary, if you’re ready — but then you begin to kiss him back, and the fire grows like it never has. Your lips part and he loses all consciousness aside from the taste of your mouth, the wonderful pressure that has him reeling. Your hands navigate his skin until they flutter to the sides of his neck, your thumbs grazing his jaw and coaxing him into a blissful stupor. His entire world reduces down to you and you only, your lips so incredibly soft and sweet, and he kisses you slowly but deeply, melting into your touch.

The curious way kisses do, this one comes to its natural end in time. He leans his forehead against yours and the two of you stay there in a comfortable but sad silence, his fingers lacing through yours reassuringly.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he murmurs, his amber gaze so soft and loving that you have no trouble believing him at all. “You already knew that, I think, but I really do, so much that it scares me. And I’m sorry that this has to be so complicated. I hope you understand that I have to be cautious, as much for your sake as my own.

“But I’m done pushing you away,” he promises. “Because now that I know you feel the same way, I can’t lose you like I’ve lost everyone else. I’ve learned that the world doesn’t seem quite so bleak with you around. You make me happier and give me strength more than anyone I’ve ever known.” He cradles your hair, looking at you with all the sincerity and affection in the world. “It will be difficult, and there are so many things we need to figure out first, but we’ll get there. I’m sure of it.” He leans his forehead against yours. “There’s nothing I can’t do with you beside me.”

You lean in and seal his promise with one last lingering kiss. The two of you fall asleep in each other’s arms that night, basked in a loving, safe warmth that you’ll find out all too soon is only fleeting.

[danceofmyimpressions]

So I just finished Love, Victor and I wanted to sum up my thoughts:

In general I was positively surprised by this season in some ways and slightly disappointed in others. I think the acting was actually better than in the last season and they tackled a lot of very complicated topics in a satisfying way. They managed to avoid some tropes but really leaned into some others that no one wants to see (hello unnecessary love triangles! miscommunication!). The sad and emotional scenes were very well done and all in all the season had a more serious atmosphere than I expected from them. I loved all of the friendships and I liked Victor's growth. He stood up for himself! And was so honest about his feelings!

Mia & Andrew: those two were adorable the entire season and I really liked all of their arcs. They resolved the Lucy thing very well, without annoying jealousy and drama and their chemistry is great. Mia's family story line is also very interesting and heartbreaking

Lake & Felix & Pilar: mmhm I don't know I am a bit ambivalent but in general it's ok. I think Lake and Felix were a good couple... but their break up story line was more interesting and layered than I anticipated. I was glad about their talk in 2x10 because honestly I think that her trying to find help was absolutely the right thing to do in this situation (all of that shouldn't be put on a 16 year old alone)... and Pilar and Felix do work well together, although I was very much hoping for a platonic m/f friendship! (please, we need more of those). But sure if Lucy/Lake is actually a thing, I could get behind that!

Victor's family: I liked these storylines! They tried to show a lot of different versions of how people might react and I think they handled it pretty well.

Rahim: ugh what to say... as soon as they showed a picture of this character it was obvious that they were going to create a love triangle (seriously who likes those? I get that this is a drama show but still) and I was worried how they'll do this. I liked his character, I liked the discussions he had with Victor and their friendship felt great. I also really like the idea of Victor having other gay friends and having connections to this community outside of his relationship with Benji. But why make it romantic? If your audience has spent almost two seasons deeply caring for his relationship with Benji and you want to set up Rahim as a love interest, we need more time! Sure in real life people have problems and they might fall out of love over the span of a few weeks but on the show we only had a couple of hours between the first episode and the last! We can't change our feelings and our attachment that quickly (or at least I can't).

Victor & Benji: I think what I loved most was the "long term couple feeling" those two gave off. In so many of their interactions you really felt like you were watching a couple that has been dating for a while and not all shows manage to portray that. Their relationship this season feels a bit like two teenagers stumbling into a relationship that turned out to be way more serious than they expected and maybe were ready for.

I wish we had seen more of Benji... I feel like we still don't know him as well as we do the other characters. Do I love how the creators of the show handled some of the storylines especially in the second half? No, I didn't - Rahim as a love interest was unnecessary in my opinion and the love triangle seems a bit like a repeat of season 1. And it felt weird to put 2 days of having fun with a friend on the same level as a 6 months long relationship... but I get what they are trying to do... and it's not even that unrealistic for a couple to have these kinds of doubts... and it's okay to show that not every first love is the one... so I guess we'll see how they will resolve all of that (not excited about the shipping wars and the fighting this will bring to the fandom though)

All in all, it was a very interesting and emotional season and I hope they get to continue the show <3