#like the entire coronation scene is badly thought out from the moment she comes up out of the floor

[atopvisenyashill]

i don't get the small folk viewing the death of the dragon that killed so many of them for no reason as "an ill omen"

because it’s a dragon. it’s a god! it’s a living walking breathing god to a bunch of people whose gods are incredibly silent!! maegor didn’t parade quicksilver’s body around did he!!!! a dragon was killed in combat for the first time since MAEGOR’S RULE and then they chopped its head off and paraded it through town!!!! there’s a level of decorum i think everyone expects high born people to be treated with - for example criston specirically taking lord darklyn’s head off - and they didn’t even show that to a living god!! of course they think it’s an ill omen!! it also like, isn’t meleys’ fault that they came up through the floor, that was rhaenys’ decision, and you don’t blame the horse for what the soldier does do you? vhagar went from being laena’s to being aemond’s, these dragons don’t have allegiances, they have riders. and criston & aemond throw all that propoganda about them being gods OUT THE WINDOW in an instant!! and the smallfolk immediately pick up on that vibe - this war is spiraling to a point where people are willing to throw away whatever decorum, whatever Super Special Valyrian Godliness they have to brag about a fight that barely counts as a win and go “oh if they’re gonna treat EACH OTHER like that what the fuck are they gonna do to ME?” and try to make a run for it but the gates are already barred, they are already being locked in like cattle to a slaughter. and that realization starts with seeing meleys’ rotting head and realizing they are treating dragons the same way they treat the smallfolk, which means the way they treat the smallfolk is about to get MUCH WORSE.

[thelogicalghost]

The Problem of Hans

With the Frozen 2 trailer drop, I wanted to finally organize some of my thoughts about the original in a post I can link to instead of trying to repeat this argument every time it comes up. 

Before I dive in, I want to emphasize that I am not trying to ‘forgive’ or ‘justify’ Hans being a dick. My goal is to parse his actions throughout the movie and find a plausible explanation for seemingly contrasting character moments.

Part 1: Some Background

The original story of the Snow Queen, on which Frozen was loosely based, set the icy-powered queen as the villain. However, during development, songwriters Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez composed and pitched several songs including “Let It Go” that put the sisters’ relationship at the center of the story. The decision was made to redeem Elsa and make the sisters the heroes, requiring the previously supporting character Hans to become a last-minute villain.

Because of this rewrite, and perhaps in order to preserve the ‘twist’, Hans spends the majority of the movie seeming utterly charming and even heroic. Disney inadvertently created a truly terrible villain, a sociopath capable of utterly fooling an entire country but revealing his evil plans and unfathomable cruelty only to a dying women. However, this also meant that Hans’ portrayal has several serious inconsistencies that bring his twist betrayal into question. These moments continue to bother me every time I watch the movie, creating a conundrum that a purely evil, brilliant, manipulative Hans doesn’t explain.

Taking the finished, theatrical release of the movie as canon, I as the audience was left trying to reconcile these discrepancies into a plausible narrative. First, I’m going to talk about the moments that force me to question the movie’s explanation, and then I’m going to present exactly that plausible narrative.

Part 2: The Bits That Bother Me

There are two moments that trouble me particularly in the movie. One is much more significant than the other, so let’s start with that one.

Hans has gathered a group of volunteers to find the missing royal sisters. Two of these volunteers, attendants to the Duke of Weselton, have been ordered by the Duke to kill Elsa. As they approach Elsa’s ice palace and are confronted by her snow monster, these two men take advantage of the confusion to run ahead of the group. Both try to shoot Elsa with crossbows. Elsa defends herself, pinning one man to the wall with ice spikes and pushing the other man onto a balcony with a sliding wall of ice. 

Just as she’s about to push the second man off of the balcony, where he would fall to his likely death, Hans and the rest of the men arrive. Hans shouts, “Queen Elsa! Don’t be the monster they fear you are.” Elsa pauses, realizing that she had been about to kill. The first man tries to take advantage of this pause by raising his loaded crossbow for a final shot. Hans, after quickly glancing upward, dashes across the room to yank the man’s arm up and send the bolt toward the ceiling. This sends an ornate ice chandelier falling to the floor. Elsa jumps out of the way but is knocked unconscious.

The key moment here is Hans’ intervention. Let’s consider the logic of this moment based on an evil, manipulative Hans:

If Hans wanted Elsa dead and out of the way, he could have:

Ordered his men to attack. She was obviously having difficulty managing two assailants, but attacking them with her ice powers could have been a perfect excuse to need to take her down

Continued to distract Elsa so that the first of the Duke’s men could shoot her

Grapple with the man but let the crossbow ‘go off’ to hit Elsa, either killing her (since he could obviously aim it very well) or prolonging the fight and creating other opportunities

If Hans wanted Elsa alive for some reason, but wanted a great excuse to kill or dethrone her later, he could have:

Said nothing, let her kill a soldier from a neighboring country, making her a killer and potentially exacerbating a diplomatic incident

Said literally anything else to provoke/manipulate her or the situation, for example, beg her to surrender (which she wouldn’t, making her look like the bad guy) or urge his men to save the Duke’s men (which would have turned into a full conflict that might have resulted in her wounding or killing her own people)

Instead, Hans appeals to her humanity. He says something calculated to make her stop and consider what she had been about to do. Then he takes an action that was much less likely to do her harm - Elsa had plenty of time to dodge that chandelier - but disrupted the standoff and diffused a tense situation. 

No matter which way I look at this scene, Hans’ actions just don’t make sense if he sees Elsa as an obstacle to the throne.

The second moment I want to mention is much smaller, but to me, equally disconcerting. It happens much earlier, at the end of the scene in which Hans and Anna meet.

Memorably, their initial meeting ends with the two of them standing in a boat that is perched precariously on the edge of a dock. As Anna leaves, both of them seeming quite taken with each other, Chekhov’s boat finally tips over and dumps Hans in the water. As he lifts up the overturned boat, Hans gives the departing Anna a fond smile.

This smile is what bothers me so badly. Hans, in this moment, has no audience. He is under a boat off the edge of a dock. Even his horse would have difficulty seeing him from that angle. Yet his expression contains no spark of malice. It’s gentle and hopeful, suggesting that he’s as smitten with her as she clearly is with him. If Hans were a sociopath, he would need to put effort into faking this expression, and why would he without an audience? There is absolutely no reason to think that his feelings in this smile are not completely genuine, except for the fact that he later claims they’re fake.

Which leads me to ...

Part 3: A Plausible Narrative

Hans arrives in Arendelle and meets Anna. She’s young and clearly unpolished but sweet and authentic. During the coronation ball, they enjoy each other’s company. Hans sees a woman who clearly lacks practical education and whose romantic ideas could land her into a lot of trouble, but whose spontaneity and youthful energy he appreciates. 

Now, in the mid-1800′s, like in most of European monarchical history, marriage among royalty is not a matter of love but of exchange and consolidation of goods and power. Hans suspects that there are problems in Arendelle. The princesses have been sequestered completely in the years since their parents’ deaths. Perhaps the reason Anna’s been kept behind locked doors is that she’s prone to thoughtless acts of romanticism that could easily bring harm to the royal family. He can’t offer the family riches or titles, but he can provide this woman the trappings of romance, be patient with her, and in time, nurture a genuinely loving relationship. He can promise to reign in her impulsive behavior and encourage her to act in ways that benefit the kingdom. Maybe he can offer more, in terms of what experience and knowledge he’ll bring to the table as a prince from a powerful nation, but first he has to talk to the queen.

Surprisingly, when he and Anna approach Elsa, the two sisters seem to be misinterpreting his offer of engagement and negotiations as an offer to run off to the church, like, NOW. Elsa gives a public, automatic rejection. Anna confronts her in an embarrassingly public argument. Then, of course, something happens that Hans couldn’t have predicted: Elsa reveals that she has ice powers, freezes the harbor, and sets a snowstorm on the country.

Without consulting anyone or taking anyone with her, Anna rides off to find her sister. Instead of calling on any of the advisers, minor nobility, or other titles of the realm, Anna puts Hans in change. Hans is not only shocked at the impropriety and irresponsibility, but the fact that no one seems to challenge him for that position. Everyone, local or visiting, is content to turn to this visiting prince, despite the conflict earlier in the ballroom. Well, if he’s what they’ve got, he’ll take that duty. He hopes to eventually be part of the royal family, after all, so these will soon be his people. He sorts out emergency responses including hot food and thick blankets, walking through the streets himself to aid in distribution.

Anna’s horse appears, riderless and distressed. Now Hans is deeply concerned. It seems that whatever sisterly means Anna intended to use to calm Elsa have failed. He organizes an expedition to travel up the mountain, taking volunteers (not hand-picking people who might be loyal to him, note, but inviting people who genuinely care about their monarch to help find her). He probably plans this trip and finds at least one guide, because he gets to the palace shortly after Anna leaves.

Despite having to battle a giant snow monster and nearly falling to his death, when Hans sees the standoff between Elsa and the Duke’s men, he says what he hopes will be the most effective at calming her down. He sees an opportunity to diffuse the standoff by destroying the chandelier, which knocks the queen unconscious. Despite having every opportunity and a long journey back to the city, Hans takes Elsa, unharmed, to the palace dungeons and restrains her.

When Elsa comes to, he begs her to break the curse. This is when Elsa says, simply, “I can’t,” and begs him to let her go. She doesn’t even know where Anna is.

Now, if Elsa was thinking even slightly rationally, she would know that Hans can’t simply let her go. She plunged the city into deep winter. IF the effect is related to proximity, leaving might help, but if it’s not - and Elsa clearly isn’t in control of this curse, how does she know? - then they’ll have lost the opportunity to track her down again and try something else. People are going to die. 

A visiting dignitary tells Hans that, if something’s happened to Anna, he’s “all Arendelle has left.” The message is clear: this is on his shoulders. The fate of thousands of lives and an entire country rests on him. He wants to go look for Anna again because she maybe will have some idea of how to break the curse.

And then Anna shows up, cold and dying. What she says to Hans, specifically, is that she was wrong about Elsa never hurting her, that Elsa has frozen her heart and only an act of true love can save her.

This is the last straw. Sure, eventually Hans would probably have grown to love Anna, but true love at first sight? That’s absurd. And of course, there’s no one else. Clearly something terrible has happened between the sisters, so hoping for love there is pointless. He’s been here two days and not seen so much as a close family friend who might potentially love the girls enough to save them. So now he has a country buried in snow in the middle of the summer by a queen who can’t control her ice curses, and the non-magical princess is going to die.

So Hans does a crappy thing and takes his anger out on a girl who’s going to die. He mocks her for being naive and impulsive, gives her the worst possible scenario just to make her feel stupid, and enjoys her shock and pain. And then he douses the fire and opens a window to make sure she dies quickly, because now Hans has a plan.

You see, witchcraft is a really flimsy excuse for executing a sitting queen, especially when he’s only just got here. But with everyone present perfectly happy to take his word for events, Hans comes up with a way to save everyone and take the kingdom without looking like a monster. All he has to do is say that he and Anna exchanged vows. Elsa’s killed Anna, so now he’s going to execute her for murder. Every story about magic from the era and before suggests that slaying the person who cast the curse will end the curse. He’ll save Arendelle not only from eternal winter, but also from two girls who almost destroyed their own nation with their magic and incompetence.

But, of course, both girls escape, Anna stops Hans and saves herself, and Elsa finally realizes what the trolls should have told her parents all those years ago and saved everyone a lot of pain: love is the key to melting the effects of her powers. 

So Hans is arrested for attempted regicide (despite his actions being assented to and supported by everyone else present), Arendelle cuts off its largest trading partner for the Duke’s role in events, and Anna starts spending time alone with a commoner while Elsa continues to show no interest in marriage arrangements, further eroding the stability of the monarchy. Not to mention the potential massive agricultural and economic problems from the two-day winter.

Part 4: In Conclusion

As I said earlier, I’m not trying to defend Hans’ actions entirely. His tirade at Anna when they were alone was nothing short of abusive. What I’m trying, instead, to offer is an explanation of why his supposed confession doesn’t fit with some of his actions during the course of the movie. I’m trying to frame the events of a movie set in a historical time period in a way appropriate to that time period.

(Yes, I know, it’s a kid’s movie and to some extent a fairy tale, but if your best argument is “well reality should be handwaved for the story” then I would counter that the story’s inconsistencies were actively harmful to the intended message. If the point was to make Hans a gaslighting monster, then don’t make his actions plausibly rational and rely on a single scene to demonstrate that he’s actually monstrous.)

I’ve tried my best to keep this post limited to the content of the movie and extrapolations made from that material. I don’t think Hans should be brought back as a romantic interest (GIVE ELSA A GIRLFRIEND DISNEY) and I don’t think any backstory, up to and including Hans himself suffering abuse, justifies his cruelty. That said, I continue to hope that Frozen 2 will see the return of Hans not as an all-out villain but as someone who knows he’s made mistakes and is working to be a better person.

I mean, if Elsa can be forgiven for plunging the kingdom into eternal winter, maybe Hans can find some resolution, too?

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

Drake's Diary ch.13 - The Beaumont Bash

Words: 4231

It's the day after Drake and Emma's monumental kiss, and it's time for the last party of the season! What truths will emerge tonight?

  Drake walked into the Beaumont estate, still frazzled from the previous night. He hadn’t slept a wink after kissing Emma and replayed the scene over and over in his head. How did he let himself lose control like that? And then instead of talking about it, he just left without saying goodbye to anyone. And when he ran into Liam and discovered they were going on a date…that weighed on him heavily. He knew he must look absolutely exhausted, but this was the last event of the social season, and he needed to be here. But really, he just wanted to run away and never look back.

  As more guests arrive, servers distribute drinks and appetizers, and he grabs a glass of champagne. Definitely going to need some alcohol to get through this.

As he wandered around, his eyes found Emma’s in the sea of streaming guests. Unable to stop himself, he went right over to her.

“Welcome to Beaumont Bash…you’ll recognize some of these fine floral arrangements as yours…” She told him, her face straight and not showing any emotion.

She looks absolutely beautiful…just like a princess…a blue gown, gold trimming…wow

“Rose…You look…”

“Yes?”

He cleared his throat “…Ready for the party. Everything here really came together.”

“I know, right? Though…you don’t look like you’re dressed for the occasion.” She said, frowning.

“You don’t like my look? This shirt’s clean.”

She scoffed “I guess that’s the most I should expect. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you dress up for one of these fancy events. It might be a nice change of pace for you, getting out of your comfort zone.”

Ouch. That’s the first time that comment had any sting to it.

He shrugged “Eh. Fashion is subjective. Besides, people are here to see the Prince, not me.”

Emma shakes her head and Drake barely caught the words she was muttering to herself.

“Guess I don’t count as wanting to see you.”

His breath caught, and he couldn’t believe what he’d heard. She went on a date with Liam. She can’t be serious. Should I ask her about it? Should I apologize? Maybe I should have made more of an effort…

Before he could decide, Hana bounces over to them.

"Emma! Maxwell! I’ve never been to the Beaumont estate before. This looks wonderful.”

“Thank you, Hana…” Maxwell said

“And Emma! You look amazing!” She exclaimed

Drake sighed. She really does. Damn it. I should have at least worn a different shirt.

Emma smiled “Thank you. As always, you look lovely too”

A server comes near the group, handing out the caviar and paprika appetizers.

“Our creations!” Maxwell squealed

“I hope people like them…” Emma said nervously

Drake overheard Kiara from the next table “Uhh…What is this dish?”

Maxwell leans over to Kiara’s table. “What you have there is a deconstructed delicacy of caviar cultivated from pampered hake fish of the Swedish fjords with paprika harvested from a micro-nursery in Provence.”

The ladies take delicate bites of the appetizers

Penelope smiled “Wow…so fancy…I like them! Spicy, salty, definitely unique.”

Kiara agreed “Mmmm…It reminds me of when I dined at the top of la tour Eiffel in Paris! Did you use the same chef?”

“Someone comparable.” Maxwell told her before turning back to Emma. “Well, the reactions to our appetizers seem mostly positive.”

Emma snorted “They like the food? Really? I can’t believe we pulled that off!”

“Yeah. I really thought this would be a complete disaster.” Drake told them. He could feel Emma glaring at him and there was no way he was going to look at her just now.

“I told you…it’s all in the marketing!” Maxwell clapped him on the shoulder, oblivious to the tension.

Emma gave a small smile at that, but it fades as Lady Madeleine and Lady Olivia enter together.

“Duchess Olivia…Countess Madeleine…Welcome” She greeted.

Madeleine looked her up and down. “Lady Emma. Don’t you look…well…nice. And the Beaumont’s have certainly outdone themselves”

Olivia smirked “Yes, this isn’t as tacky an affair as I’d imagined it would be.”

Emma narrowed her eyes. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“As you should, Now, let’s get this evening over with…where’s the wine?”

Olivia brushes past, but Madeleine lingers. She looks at Prince Liam sitting at his table up front before turning back to Emma.

“You must be feeling pretty smug”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Emma started, before Madeleine interrupted her.

“I’ve been hearing some rumors that you’ve become a frontrunner going into the coronation.”

“Madeleine, it’s not a race.” Emma sighed.

“Isn’t it though? In a way?”

“No. It’s about the Prince and who he wants to marry.”

Come on, Rose. You know he wants to marry you. Of course, you don’t think it’s a race. You already won.

Madeleine rose an eyebrow “…Right. You may have the upper hand while we’re at the Beaumont estate, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be chosen as queen. You never know what might happen…”

Shaking her head, Emma just replied “Madeleine, may the best woman win.”

“Yes. The Best woman.”

As Madeleine walks away, Bertrand stands up on the dais to address the attendees. “Welcome, everyone. If you’ll please take your seats, dinner will begin shortly.

“That’s my cue. I have a seat in the back, so I’ll see you after dinner.” Drake said, eyeing Emma.

“And I better go and take my seat with the other ladies.” Hana told them.

“I wish we could have all sat together.” Emma said sadly.

You were in charge of the seating chart. You could have made that happen…Although…Bertrand wouldn’t have allowed it either. Maybe she did try. I’m such a jerk.

Drake spoke again. “Hey, don’t look so disappointed, Rose. You’re sitting with royalty. I learned a long time ago I don’t fit in there. But don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll be able to handle one dinner without us.”

“Right…” She said glumly.

Drake, Emma, and Maxwell all went their separate ways and Drake couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He had started getting used to sitting with them, and it was much more enjoyable than sitting by himself. Get it together, Walker. It’s been this way your whole life. Forever sitting alone.

He watched as Emma takes her seat at the head table, Liam sitting on her left, Bertrand on her right. As the King and Queen are seated beside the Prince, servers come out bearing the main course. Everyone looks happy, and Drake started eating his own food. At least his meal was hot.

After dinner, Bertrand had everyone gather in the Grand Hall as he walks halfway up the staircase and started a speech. “Citizens, nobles, friends, we’ve gathered here today to celebrate the end of the social season. So, if you’ll hear me out, I’d like to share a few words…”

As soon as he started talking, Drake saw Emma and Maxwell disappear. He frowned. What’s that about? Shouldn’t they be right there with him?

After a few moments, they come back, Emma with a dagger and Maxwell with a flail

Oh no. Maxwell has a weapon. This never ends well.

“…and so, with all of House Beaumont with me, let’s propose a toast!” Bertrand announced.

Maxwell and Emma go up the stairs, weapons and champagne bottles in hand.

“To our gracious royal family…”

“To all those here tonight!” Maxwell interrupted

“And to the Brothers Beaumont! Our legendary hosts, who I wouldn’t be here without.” Emma grinned

“Let’s rock this place to the ground!” Maxwell finished.

Maxwell swings the flail into a champagne bottle, shattering it entirely. Champagne runs down the steps.

Drake could barely watch as it was Emma’s turn. But thankfully, she swings at the bottle, slicing the top clean off. Champagne foams out, dripping onto the stairs.

Maxwell looks impressed, and Drake definitely was. She certainly had style.

Bertrand grabbed a glass. “From all of us at House Beaumont…thank you!”

Everyone cheers as the servers’ rush forward to hand out glasses of champagne to everyone.

Drake meandered around again, unsure of what to do. He felt like a fish out of water. He didn’t belong here, and he wanted to leave. Bertrand picks up an open bottle of champagne and takes a big swig. Music blasts from the sound system, and Maxwell slides down the railing. From the doorways leading into the room, professional dancers and acrobats stream in.

“I hope you’re ready. Cuz the Maxwell special is in the house!” Maxwell moonwalks onto the middle of the floor to the music’s increasing tempo. “I am the myth…the man…the legend. Witness me!” He drops into a flurry of breakdance moves. Drake moves to join Emma, Liam, and Hana.

“It’s been less than two minutes, and my ears hurt…” Drake complained

“Come on, Drake, you usually give it at least five minutes before tapping out.” Liam laughed.

“There’s so much happening!” Hana exclaimed

“That’s the problem.” Drake muttered. He thought it couldn’t get worse but then…

“Bring out the horses!” Bertrand shouted

“The horses!? You’re bringing horses in here??” Emma gasped, as someone on the staff leads out a couple beautiful steeds.

“Who’s ready for a little horse riding?”

“I am!” Maxwell announced, running forward and mounting a horse.

“Great…” Drake frowned. This really can only end badly.

“Who joins me?” He calls out. “The Prince?”

Liam shook his head, still grinning. “I nominate Drake as my proxy

“Oh, no. you’re not forcing me into the saddle tonight” Drake glared at him.

“I vote for Emma!” Hana said excitedly

“I believe I have my own horse, thank you very much.” Emma told her.

“One that made the trip with me from the palace…” Liam told her softly. Emma looked at him in surprise as a joyful smile broke out on her face. A 3rd horse arrives, the one Emma had named Chica Linda. Emma mounts. “Hey girl, I missed you.”

She rides around the room with Maxwell, waving to party goers “My fellow Cordonians…Today, I ride for Cordonia!”

“For Cordonia!” Hana joined in.

“Woo, riding a horse. Yay.” Drake grimaced, still afraid something terrible was about to happen.

Maxwell nudges Emma, and they get off the horses, giving someone else the reigns. Drake breathed a sigh of relief. At least nothing bad happened to Emma. I mean Maxwell. At least nothing bad happened to Maxwell.

Liam approaches Emma and taps her shoulder. Before he has a chance to say what he wanted, Olivia cut in

“Liam, there you are! Don’t forget you promised me a drink…”

Liam smiles apologetically at Emma and bids her farewell. He kisses her on the cheek and whispers something in her ear.

Ugh why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I stop watching her? Especially when she’s with Liam. It feels so…awful.

  The party rages into the night…and then later…

  Fragments of split apples litter the floor. The bust of Maxwell’s great grandfather is riddled with cracks and chips, an arrow protrudes from his eye, while the apple on his head remains unscathed. Kiara lies in the corner of the room, while Penelope drapes her arms around a horse. Bertrand sits against a column, a sword in one hand and an empty bottle of champagne in the other, talking to himself and smiling.

In the middle of the carnage, Maxwell continues to dance. “Break it down. Nice and slow.”

“You’re still going?” Emma asks wearily.

He shrugged “If I stop, the party stops. It’s like that Louis the 14th quote. I am the party. How’re you feeling? I hope it wasn’t too hard on you.”

“I feel so-so. A party that rocks you to your core also drains you to your core.”

“Truer words have rarely been spoken.” Maxwell agreed.

Drake looked around. “It’s over. I’m officially free.”

Maxwell’s mouth fell open. “What do you mean it’s over? The party is just getting started.”

Drake’s eyebrows shot up. “Lady Penelope is literally talking to a horse. The party has done its job.”

Emma giggled. “Back home, this was always about the time we’d break out a game of truth or dare, but I bet you guys are too classy for that.”

“You’d be betting wrong! I love truth or dare.” Maxwell exclaimed.

Hana’s eyebrows furrowed. “Truth or dare? That sounds dangerous…”

Emma looked at her slyly. “Well…only if you have something to hide…or a fear of embarrassing stunts…”

“It sounds…fun!” Hana mused, breaking into a smile.

Emma laughed. “I can’t believe you’ve never played! Now we’ve got to do it.”

Drake grimaced. “Oh no. I’m not playing truth or dare.”

“Come on, Drake, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Emma winked at him

“Do it, do it!” Maxwell started

“I see where this is going…”

“Drake Drake Drake!” Maxwell chanted.

“Ugh okay…fine. I’ll play, just stop chanting my name.”

Always chanting my fucking name to get me to do something I don’t want to.

“Whoohoo! Someone’s going streaking tonight!” Maxwell hollered.

“We can play in my room” Hana suggested, and the 4 friends headed up the stairs.

 “This is so exciting! How do we start?” Hana asked, excitedly.

“Heh. Usually with a few drinks” Drake told her. Let’s definitely get more alcohol going for this.

Hana nodded “Oooh there’s a full bar! What do you guys want?”

Maxwell thought a moment. “Make me something fruity and delicious. I know! I want Sex on the Beach!”

Hana’s jaw dropped. “Oh my! I don’t think…”

“It’s a drink…Never mind, I’ll make it myself.” Maxwell walked over to the bar and Drake smothered a laugh. She is so clueless.

“I’ll just have…”

“Let me guess. Whiskey.” Emma said.

“I’m getting predictable, aren’t I?” Drake admitted.

She smirked “Maybe just a little bit.”

“What about you, Emma?” Hana asked.

“Sex on the beach sounds amazing right now.” Emma replied, not even looking in Hana’s direction. Instead, she had locked eyes with Drake, and he didn’t miss that undertone in her voice.

He swallowed, hard. She did that on purpose.

Hana pours herself champagne “Cheers, Friends! Thank you for joining me tonight!”

Drake rose his glass, still looking at Emma. “Cheers.”

“To friendship!” Maxwell toasted.

“To friendship! And Truth or dare!” Emma said

Drake grimaced. These people sure are excited. “Oh boy, this is going to be a long night.”

“Drinks have been accomplished. Now, what comes next?” Hana asked.

“Someone goes first.” Maxwell replied.

“Rose should start. This was her idea.”

Maxwell nodded. “Okay, Emma…truth or dare?”

“I choose truth.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. I’ve got a great one for you. If you were stranded on a deserted island, where you’ll never see anyone or any civilization ever again…which one of us would you want with you?”

“I’d want Drake.”

Drake snapped his attention back to her. “Me?”

Oh, come ooonnnnn “Be honest, Rose, you just want me there so I’m suffering as much as you are.”

She grinned “Mostly just to see how you’d look in a grass skirt.”

“Hey!” Drake laughed.

“Just kidding. I think you’d be gruff and grumpy, but deep down, when it counts, you’d probably save me from a tiger attack or something.”

“Well. I’d feel terrible if a tiger ate my only companion.”

“And there wouldn’t be any nobles around, or courtly intrigue or gossip…In fact, I think you might enjoy being stranded more than palace life.”

“You never know”

Drake and Emma were both still grinning at each other, leaning towards each other, Drake noticing how her eyes were sparkling, before Maxwell cleared his throat and the moment was over.

“Right! Okay, Maxwell, you’re turn. Truth or Dare?” Emma asked

Once again, she chose me. She always chooses me. I wonder if I will ever be able to do the same?

“Dealer’s choice! I’m not afraid of anything!” Maxwell told her

Emma nodded. “Okay then…Tell us a secret that no one else knows about you.”

“Aw, I’m an open book! Everyone knows everything about me!”

Drake rose an eyebrow. “Nope.”

“Not true at all.” Emma agreed.

“We know almost nothing about you!” Hana joined in.

Maxwell looked between the three of them, confused. “Well, all anyone ever had to do was ask. Okay, let’s see…I hate carousels.”

“Really?” Emma asked incredulously. “I thought everyone loved carousels”

Maxwell shook his head. “When I was little, the royal court took all the kids to a theme park for the Prince’s birthday. But when we were on the carousel, some reporters got in and mobbed us. The security team did their best to get us all out of there, but I was the last one they got to. So, I was stuck on this dumb carousel for what seemed like forever with people taking pictures and shouting questions to me. I was only 3…I had no idea what was really going on. And because our parents had spent so much time trying to warn us about dangers, I thought I was about to get murdered.”

“Aww…Maxwell…”

“I’m fine. It was a long time ago.”

“Still…”

Maxwell laughed. “Geez, this is why I don’t like to talk about serious stuff. I’m fine, you guys! Just forget it! Next up…Hana…truth or dare?”

“Oh…um..truth!”

“Tell us about your first kiss.”

“My first kiss? Well…it was actually a very chaste courtship. Our first kiss was in front of a professional photographer for our engagement photo shoot. My parents were insistent that we publish a very public announcement in all the papers. It was…somewhat awkward.”

“He wasn’t a great kisser?” Emma asked, sympathetically.

“He missed.”

“He…missed? How?” Drake piped in

Hana shrugged. “He kissed my ear. Well, he punctured his lip on my earring, actually. He started bleeding. I felt terrible. My parents were furious that he ruined my dress. It was a complete disaster.”

Emma’s jaw dropped “Hana…You deserved a better first kiss than that!”

Hana smiled. “Thank you, Emma, but it wasn’t so bad. Looking back, it was actually pretty funny. I mean, who can miss that badly on a kiss?”

“Ha! I know what you mean. What a loser…” Maxwell said, not making eye contact with anyone.

“Maxwell…” Drake warned. “It’s called truth or dare for a reason.”

He threw his hands up. “Okay, maybe I accidentally kissed someone’s chin but that’s like, a totally understandable mistake, right? I mean, it’s right below the mouth…”

“Heehee. Yes, that’s completely normal” Hana assured him.

“But there’s all kinds of first kisses, Hana.” Emma said. Everyone looked at her, surprised.

“What?” She asked. “It’s true! When you kiss someone for the first time, it’s like getting that first kiss back.”

“I…don’t understand.” Hana said, eyebrows furrowed.

Emma laughed. “Okay, well. When you meet someone, and hang out, for example. Maybe you even become best friends with that person…”

Oh no. What is she doing? Is she going to tell them??

She continued “The first time you and that person kiss…it can be magical. There’s passion, heat, want, need,…sometimes even love.” She ended in a whisper, eyes downcast.

Drake swallowed and felt his face flush. She wasn’t giving anything about the two of them away, hell, she wasn’t even looking at him, but he might draw attention if he didn’t stop blushing. But as he tended to do around her, he couldn’t stop himself from trying to make her feel better.

“Yes…there is that.” Drake agreed softly. Emma rose her eyes to look into his, and the vulnerability there took his breath away. She had never looked at him like that before. It made him want to run to her and scoop her into his arms.

“This is getting too heavy.” Maxwell announced. “My turn again.  Emma, I dare you to go streak through the ballroom in your underwear!”

“That’s not fair! It’s not her turn!” Hana laughed

“Yeah, and she didn’t even choose ‘dare.’” Drake told him.

Maxwell sighed. “Well, someone should streak tonight, or this game is a bust. Come now, Emma, it’s your game. Who will it be?”

And here it comes.

“Drake” She chose

Yup. There it is. Every time.

He shook his head, trying to hide his smile, and the friends make their way to the now empty ballroom

“The things I do for you people.” He grumbled as he removed his clothes. He takes a deep breath and sprints through the room.

“Woo! Go Drake!” Emma shouted

Drake sprints back and stops in front of the three of them. “Satisfied?”

“Yep! Now what?” Maxwell asked.

“I’m going to join in!” Emma exclaimed. She tugs off her clothes. “We can’t make Drake be the only one. Come on, Hana!”

Hmm. A black bra this time. Very nice….dammit, stop staring.

“Okay! It does look fun!” Hana agreed.  She pulls off her clothes. “Let’s go!”

“Maxwell?” Emma asked.

“I’ll be the photographer.”

“Maxwell!” She scolded.

“I mean, I’ll stand guard!”

Carrying their clothes, Emma, Drake, and Hana take off running around the ballroom.

“Wooo!” Emma screams

“Freeeeeeedom!” Drake called out, smiling from ear to ear.

“Truth or dare!” Hana shouted.

They race back to Maxwell and back to Hana’s room…where they collapse on the bed, laughing and panting, before they get dressed.

“I can’t believe we just did that!” Hana laughed

Drake nodded “Ah, the magic of truth or dare.”

“This was so much fun tonight! Thank you!”

“Any time” Emma told her.

Maxwell just shrugged. “You know me, I don’t need much of an excuse to party.”

“I’m in…still not sure why I came this time, but I guess I’d do it again.” Drake said.

“Oh my gosh, Drake, I think we’re graduating from friends to best friends!” Hana exclaimed.

Drake held his hands in front of him. “Whoa whoa whoa…Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

Maxwell clapped him on the shoulder. “I dunno, man. We all drink together, goof off together, spend most of our time together…”

“No”

Hana hugs Drake’s arm. “It’s too late Drake. We are best friends!”

Drake frowned. “I guess I’m just going to have to accept this, huh?”

Emma smiled. “It’s probably for the best. You could do much worse than the three of us.”

Drake chuckled.  “That’s true, isn’t it?” He sighs. “Okay. You got me.”

“Yay!” Maxwell cheered

“Yay!” Hana agreed

“Please tell me this isn’t a thing we do now.” Drake said, looking over at Emma.

“Drake…yay!” Emma exclaimed with a laugh.

“I’m surrounded.” Drake grimaced.

“But in a good way, right?” Maxwell asked.

“I said what I said.” Drake told him

Just then, Hana stifles a massive yawn.

Maxwell nodded at her. “Okay, we should probably call it a night before we break Hana…” Everyone stands up and starts making their goodbyes.

“Goodnight! This has been a very memorable evening!” Hana called

“Good night, guys.” Drake said

“G’night!” Emma grinned

They dispersed in the hallway, and once Maxwell was out of sight Emma turned back to Drake.

“You didn’t say goodbye last night” She accused

“I…you’re right. I’m sorry, Rose.”

Both her eyebrows shot up. “Oh! I wasn’t expecting it to be that easy.”

Drake just shrugged. “I know when I’m in the wrong. Besides, it took most of the party to get you to warm back up to me.”

They started walking down the hall again, and after a brief pause, the question that had been coursing through him the whole day came tumbling out.

“How was your date with Liam?”

Emma stopped walking and turned to look at him again slowly. “How did you know about that?” She asked

“Erm…I…ran into Liam as I was leaving last night.” Drake admitted.

The corners of her mouth turned up slightly and she resumed walking again. Drake walked alongside her, still waiting for an answer. He shuddered. Maybe it went a little too well.

“Well, this is me.” She said, stopping in front of a door and unlocking it.

“Right…” Drake said.

“Drake…if you had actually stuck around another 5 minutes last night, you would know…I didn’t go on a date with Liam.”

“Wh-what? But he said…” Drake started, confused

“You talked to him before he came inside. I told him I was too tired from party prep. I thought Bertrand was going to have a heart attack.” She laughed.

Drake was still just standing there, completely dumbfounded. “Why did you say that?” He asked incredulously.

She just smiled and turned to open her door. Once inside, she turned to close it again.

“Because I’d just had the most magical first kiss of my entire life.” She said softly. “And I wanted to go dream about it as soon as I could.”

Drake’s mouth fell open at her confession. She smirked at him and started closing her door. “Goodnight, Drake.”

The door clicked shut, leaving Drake still standing there in the hallway with his mouth agape.

Did that just happen? What the…what does that…how am I…do I knock and see if she lets me in? No, no, I definitely can’t do that…oh my god, the coronation. The coronation is next, and Liam is going to choose her.

He turned slowly and started shuffling to his room. He’ll ask her to marry him…and no one says no to Liam…although…she said no to the date…Fuck! Now what? I need to make sure she knows how I feel about her. Otherwise…I think I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.

@annekebbphotography @carabeth @gardeningourmet @eileendannie @dancetothestoriesinyoursoul @alesana45 @zigortega4life @imaketerriblechoices @blackwidow2721 @flowerpowell  @agent-bossypants @sleepwalkingelite

 @drakewalkerisreal

@notoriouscs

[lizardrosen]

Hamlet at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater

This was a really good production, that I’ve been looking forward to for six months, and it really lived up to the wait! I took two and a half pages of notes of things I remembered or loved, which I’ll try to condense, but regardless, some of this is ending up under a cut.

Characters

Maurice Jones was an incredible Hamlet, really broken up about his father, but so overcome with grief that he had to push that aside for rage at his mother’s infidelity because it was an easier emotion to handle. He was very physically aggressive to other characters, and this performance really illustrated that Hamlet isn’t indecisive because he can’t decide to do anything; he’s indecisive because he acts on each decision right away but doesn’t commit to any of them.

Horatio was a pillar of stability that everyone turned to for a sense of normalcy. Soft-spoken but with his trademark wry humor, he seemed to position himself as a quiet observer from the very beginning, almost like he’d come right from Hamlet’s directive at the end and had to see how things fell out. But he and Hamlet really didn’t seem to be dating, it’s more that Horatio is there for everyone.

Ophelia and Laertes had a really good sibling dynamic, and made fun of their father wonderfully! They physically deflated when he started giving advice, and then imitated his motions exactly when he got to “This above all...” because they’d heard it so often.

Ophelia was a lot of fun, and felt like someone growing out of girlhood into adulthood -- in her first scene she’s playing with a toy boat, and by the end she’s sharp and jaded, (almost the opposite of Hamlet, in that she’s incredibly angry at her circumstances, but that keeps being overwhelmed by grief)

Laertes was really good! In the first act he really played up the “puffed and reckless libertine” aspect, doing anything that was fun for him. But when he got back he was furious of course, but also more thoughtful and willing to listen to reasoned arguments (even if they were given by a gross snake like Claudius, UGH). A very neat way to handle his sense of honor!

Polonius was sincere and a real character trying to help, not a cardboard cutout who says things that don’t make sense so we can laugh at him. And I mean, other characters were making fun of him, but because he felt so real you had to feel bad for him. Sometimes he was almost self aware but then shrugged it off and kept talking

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern had almost an opposite relationship dynamic from how it is in the Stoppard play, which made me laugh, but they were both very good. But Guildenstern seemed shy and unsure, and tried to fit in with the court customs, while Rosencrantz took charge like “don’t worry, baby chick, I’ll take you under my wing”  and then strode forward in the wrong direction. Someone help them, they’re Trying Their Best.

Gertrude and Claudius were really handsy with each other, always sneaking off to kiss, and it’s like they wanted Hamlet to get pissed and vengeful. Claudius stepped very easily into his new position and just acted like it wasn’t a big deal, which possibly dazzled his courtiers into agreeing. I don’t think Gertrude knew he’d murdered Papa Hamlet at first, but became suspicious and watchful after the closet scene. By the time she drank the poisoned goblet she absolutely knew it would kill her

The Players were a queer punk Scandinavian acting troupe, but I love and value all of them, especially the petite tumblr who shyly handed Hamlet a rose just before the Murder of Gonzago started

The Player King came back as the second gravedigger, so he didn’t get to banter with Hamlet. But the comedic timing was perfect in that scene!

Stage and Set

The lighting and music both worked very well, subtly tying into each scene.

The ghost was a black and white video projected onto the back wall, with a lot of smoke in between, so it was even more unsettling and disorienting, and the ghosts voice moved around the house to come from different speakers so you never knew where he was going to be next.

The thrust stage could have been used more effectively, but I’ve seen that kind of stage used really badly and it wasn’t that.

Cool wall hangings with fancy patterning - they were just white with embroidery or something, but with different colored lights shining on them from the top they’d change colors all the way down, and that worked with each scene. So Claudius’s pomp and circumstance was usually orange, Ophelia’s scenes usually got blue, and I didn’t pick up on all the color choices but I felt them

When Polonius dies he pulls one of the curtains down on top of him, and when Claudius dies all the rest fall at once, and the lighting changes from loud and dramatic to something plainer and free of artifice, until it condenses to a white (and very slightly blue) light centered on Hamlet and Horatio

Plot Etc.

Started with Hamlet at his father’s grave, singing until he was too overcome with weeping, and then Claudius and Gertrude ran onstage giggling and kissing, and Hamlet glared at them until he stormed off the stage.

Scene two was a coronation gala and Hamlet, in a black hoodie shouldered between Claudius and Gertrude’s linked hands and headed straight for the snacks table

The Ophelia + Laertes + Polonius scene opens with Ophelia running onstage holding a long blue cloth that trailed behind her like a river, which divided the stage diagonally through the whole scene - a visual marker of how far characters actually are from each other, and where they come together

After the nunnery scene Claudius and Polonius just ignore Ophelia when she’s sobbing on the ground! She was just a tool for them to use and then they stopped paying attention, no wonder she “went mad”! Polonius says “How now, Ophelia” and then doesn’t wait for an answer, just immediately says “You need not tell us what Hamlet said” and is already turning back to Claudius. That said, I think he really does care about his daughter, but tends to reflect the worst of the people around him.

Act One ended at “Bring me some light!” which I was not at all prepared for, but it worked really well because the play’s answer was a sudden blackout and then a slow return to house lights. And then Claudius repeats the line at the top of Act Two and the tableau jumps into startled action

Hamlet was very rough with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, and it was just awful (but in a good way). He forces the recorder into Guildenstern’s mouth and sort of pushes him down so he has to bend his knees. It was a clear power play and made everyone Very Uncomfortable. Horatio and Rosencrantz finally pull them apart and Ros helps Guil collect himself, while Horatio sort of tries to comfort Hamlet while also clearly thinking that he’s gone Too Far.

Later when he calls Rosencrantz a sponge he squeezes him around the midsection from behind to hold him still before he suckerpunches him in the gut and it just looks very painful and bad. Besides the fact that he just killed a man, I think that’s what gets Rosencrantz running the fuck away.

The way Hamlet drags Gertrude around in the closet scene mirrors the way he drags Ophelia in the nunnery scene, owwww

The interview with the director in the playbill says that Polonius’s death is the moment the play becomes a tragedy, and you can feel everything draw in and get darker at that point, so good job from all the designers to make that happen!

Buuuut, she also said that “When the men in her life leave her, she implodes in on herself. There’s no other way for that story to end, not for someone as fragile as Ophelia, which I DON’T like. It really showed in how she was played, but the actress did a really good job in that Way Ophelia Is Usually Played. I just want to see a different kind of Ophelia once in a while!

They kept the scene where Hamlet talks with the Norwegian Captain about the territory in Poland!

When Hamlet is putting on an antic disposition he wears his mother’s dressing gown, and in Ophelia’s scenes she wears the shirt her dead father was stabbed in (who gave it to her tho?)

I found it VERY interesting who got which flowers, because it wasn’t at all what I usually see! Gertrude got rosemary, fennel and columbine; Laertes got pansies; Claudius got rue; and Horatio got a daisy.

When Ophelia breaks down about the withered violets she and Laertes end up full on SOBBING together for their father, which was heartrending and probably very good for both of them

Claudius and Laertes make their sinister plans in a sauna in the same trapdoor hole where Ophelia’s grave is in the next scene, and they’re still there when they hear of her death

The priest refused to sprinkle the holy water over the grave at the end of the service, and he just threw the container on the ground and strode away, so the gravediggers did that part instead, which was such a good moment!

Horatio was appropriately horrified at Hamlet switching the letters, and Hamlet was cavalier about it, but he showed enough emotional maturity in that scene overall that you could tell he wasn’t entirely unaffected either.

Definitely not my favorite Osric - for one thing, they left out the Hat bit. I usually read him as a very young man trying really hard to fit into the politicking of Elsinore and agreeing with Hamlet because he feels he has to, and to have him older and well established makes it harder for Hamlet and Horatio to mock, and you feel less bad for him in general. So I guess in that sense it's good that they left out the Hat scene.

When Hamlet is distracted by Gertrude collapsing, Laertes gets in a nasty little cut on the back of the leg, just a frustrated flick of his sword, and then Hamlet retaliates with the same kind of thing — surprising but effective!

Laertes got his full and proper death! YAY! It is so, so, important to me that his life doesn’t end on “The king, the king’s to blame” because he has never been about revenge as much as reparation. They have to forgive each other or the play doesn’t work right!

Horatio wasn’t so much mourning a boyfriend as he was mourning A Life because all lives are precious to him, and he was always there for everyone.

There was gorgeous almost choral music as he holds Hamlet, and a white (blue-ish) light centers on the two of them as Hamlet shakes from the poison.

And yet, even though the beats were clearly spelling out that they were setting up the final image of the play I was shocked that it ended with “flights of angels” and not the clamor of Fortinbras and court intrigue starting up all over again. I think the reason I was so surprised by what is actually a pretty typical ending point is that they did include the bit with the Norwegian captain, and the gravedigger talking about the day Papa Hamlet defeated Papa Fortinbras, so it seemed obvious to me that there would be a continuation of that.

Overall, I really loved this production, even if there were some things I would have done differently!

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X09 - Save Henry

It’s time to save Henry...or everyone, save Henry!

See what I did there? Stealthy pun. I can do those on occasion.

Anyway, under the cut you go for the semi-smart stuff, unless you want to save yourself!

Press Release

While Henry’s life hangs in the balance, the race is on to stop Pan from gaining full magical powers from the heart of the truest believer. Meanwhile, in Storybrooke of the past, Regina decides to fill a void in her life and, with Mr. Gold’s help, sets out to adopt a baby.

Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Past

Wow, Loving Lana’s acting in this first scene with Archie. She’s so muted and given how Regina’s usually up there in the extra squad, it’s so noticable. She looks while not unhealthy, still sickly in a way because of how miserable and lonely she is. It’s a fantastic way of showing just how badly her life needed love and how much of a change for the better Henry was for it. (Not to beat a dead horse, but THIS is the kind of acting a lack of a heart should grant one, Graham!)

Pre-redemption post-childhood Regina flashbacks tend to fight an uphill battle of making Regina sympathetic while also not turning their backs on the fact that she was a legit villain, and this one, like the best of them, handles that concept well! Regina does some bad and illegal things. She casts a curse, chews out basically every Storybrooke character she interacts with, and has Sidney steal Emma’s medical records. But this flashback isn’t about those things. It’s a story about how love started the trajectory of Regina’s redemption.

That’s where the focus is on and appropriately so.

Watching that story is adorable. It’s the first time we see Regina soften to someone immediately and in such a loving way. We see the struggle Regina went through to acclimate herself to motherhood. Look, I’m the daughter of a single mother and I was a bit of a problem child myself: This shit hit home.

The ending story of the segment even shows post-early early signs of her redemption by just showing how Henry’s happiness takes precedence over an ensurement of the safety of her vengeance.

“Sometimes, being a good parent can mean having the strength to give him up.” This line is so important. I like how someone in the real world gives this extra level of validation to the “your best chance” mantra of the series. OUAT has some questionable morals and questionable redemptions. I feel comfortable saying that while I do really enjoy the redemptions we see throughout the series, that statement applies to pretty much everyone in the main cast. Someone (I think @justmilah) put it best at the convention: They’re a bunch of people who probably don’t deserve happy endings but are given them anyways.

Now where am I going with this?

The one message that was always spot on was “your best chance” (Or rather, the giving up line). Parents should put their children first. To give it that real world validation, even if it doesn’t happen in the scene in question, was such a good idea. It’s not that I care about legality in this series.

Present

”You have everything and yet you claim to know what I feel?” I was really torn about how I felt about that line. On one hand, I’ve talked a fair amount about how I dislike Regina’s “woe is me” thing, Emma having a lot of people in her life does nothing to move Henry from being her number one priority, and I don’t think comparing pain is conducive to anything. However, the scene with the Lost Boys where Emma brings up this conversation is a fantastic point for her character and her reaching the Lost Boys with that idea of unexpected love and family is incredibly effective.

Regret vs. Remorse. I think the difference between these two camps is so important, both for this scene and Regina’s legacy. Even as far into the future as Regina’s Good Queen coronation, those vines never would’ve stood a chance against Regina. Regina grew to feel remorse for her actions. That was quintessential to her redemption. If she didn’t, Regina may not have garnered the fandom that she has today nor deserved the happiness she found. BUT, Regina’s path, for as evil as it was, did lead her to Henry, and that is something she’d never go back on. He was the encounter she needed to happen in order to redeem herself and more to that, she loves him. Meeting and getting to know her son was worth it all to her and I get frustrated seeing this line get occasionally misconstrued to saying that Regina regrets nothing because she got something she wanted, like Henry was just a salt shaker on a shelf when the actual situation is nothing like that.

And it makes for a truly badass moment that simultaneously doesn’t take away from her redemption. That was really hard to do, and without going too heavy handed with it, the scene by the tree worked out flawlessly!

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-Those establishing shots set the perfect mood of panic and urgency just before the curse hits.

-”He would’ve understood.” He was begging you not to kill him! XD

-Rumple is such a little shit and I love it. Like, if Regina’s gonna come and gloat, he’s gonna make sure she doesn’t get to celebrate her victory and push every button he can while he still has the chance. And all without leaving his cell!

-I just had a thought. So, as soon as Regina says she’s going to kill baby Emma, Rumple starts talking about the hole in her heart. And Regina and her guards just BARELY miss Emma. Was Rumple stalling to ensure that Emma got away?

- @ussjellyfish, I finally get what you were talking about with Regina’s love of paperwork! Her desk more loaded with paperwork than Smash Bros is loaded with characters and death!

-”What are you feeling?” “Nothing.” The subtle honesty of that line hits me HARD!

-”A child. That can provide so much meaning.” Archie, one shouldn’t have or adopt a child in order to solely give their lives meaning.

-”I need a child, Gold and I need your help.” “Well I’m flattered, but uninterested.” “Not like THAT.” One of my FAVORITE exchanges in the series! XD

-”Well, a mother of some sort.” Even cursed, Rumple is out for fucking BLOOD! -”When you become a parent, you must put your child first.” So Rumple is cursed during this scene, but one has to wonder what exactly, if anything, is his relationship to Bae under the curse. Are they estranged or is he straight-up dead? I use the dead angle in my Golden Hook fanfic, but I’m curious to hear other thoughts.

-Fun fact: If Emma yields a sword, that sword can hurt the unhurtable in exactly the way she wants to! (See also: Season 6)

-Rumple went to fucking bank for you, Regina! Like, not a single flaw!

-Damn! Amazing acting on Lana’s part again! Like, the SECOND she sees baby Henry, she falls in love with him. The gasp, the way her eyes bulge, the softness of her form! It’s amazing!

-Gotta HAND it to Killian! His hook is really doing a good job of keeping Felix in place!

-Awww! Beverly Elliott!!! She just makes me smile!!! <3

-I love how Regina just knows that Mary Margaret is the best person to stick her baby with! <3

-”Well, as long as your plan holds together, she will.” FUCK MACHISMO ISLAND.

-Baby Henry’s reaction to Gold’s shop is EVERYONE’S initial reaction to this little shop of horrors!

-”My memory’s not what it used to be.” *Sighs* Fucking Rumple. I love you.

-”Oh you really know nothing of what I’m talking about.” I love how even when Rumple actually is cursed, even with Regina’s confidence in the opening, she doesn’t buy that it actually happened for a second.

-”Look at what motherhood has done to you.” I love how Rumple’s line (This one and the ones that preceded it) is basically praising the makeup department and Lana’s acting! That’s actually so adorable and deserved on the writer’s parts! <3

-Okay, everyone’s wash of relief upon seeing Henry wake up genuinely had me choked up. The smiles on everyone’s faces and the deep breaths and the music...I think I need a minute *Sobs into eternity*

-”Young sir.” And letting him stay in the captain’s quarters?! Killian, you fucking adorable softie!

-Okay, now THAT’S the Archie who doles out great advice!

-”A glorious curse.” Regina, I love you! XD

-”Too much pizza.” I love the implication of this line that Henry DID have pizza before his trip to New York, but it wasn’t REAL pizza. XD

-Damn, the Jolly Roger’s captain’s quarters are so fucking fancy!

-”I’m sorry it had to come to this, Henry.” No you’re not, you little bitch!

-*Neal and Rumple hug* Sorry, I think I’ve got something in my eye...TEARS! Like, that entire resolution got me choked up.

-*Pan fails at taking Henry’s heart* Yeah! Suck on that, you little bitch!

-”You raised him well.” Awww! Golden Queen contrast!

-Stupid thing to point out, but after all of that hullabaloo in “Dark Hollow,” why were we using the fucking lighter?

-”A hero, a villain, a pirate.” I love how David doesn’t classify Killian as a villain despite being fairly justified in it! Captain Charming FTW!

-”You have a dad now. Now and for forever.” I’M NOT CRYING! YOU’RE CRYING! “I’ll never leave you. Okay, buddy?” THAT JUST MADE IT WORSE!!!!! AND IT’S NOT EVEN BEING SAID TO HENRY!

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Mission to Save Henry - There’s such a good feeling of payoff here! Everyone’s working together, communicating, and making risks for each other. David and Emma’s conversation towards the end of the episode about how they all accomplished this is just a testament to how far they’ve come.

Regina’s Redemption - What else is there to say? Regina’s redemption was such a big part of this episode and I already talked in length about why! Well, I guess I want to say that this arc is where Regina really takes her form. She knows she’s done bad and she’s still pretty selfish in a lot of respects, but love pushes her to new emotional heights that neither she nor the audience ever expected!

Emma Accepting Her Parents - Just look at the relief on Emma’s face when she hugs her parents who can both go home with her! <3

Rumple Finding Bae - We finally get to see a big reconciliation between Rumple and Neal! I really liked it, but that having been said, I wish there was more to it than simply “You saved Henry, now I forgive you.” Call me angsty, but that slow rebuilding of their relationship was really great. The fact that they have so far to go is part of what made “Nasty Habits” the fantastic experience that it was. To see it all over so soon after that makes me wish for more. That said, one can make a case that they haven’t fully reconciled AND that at the time they wrote this, Neal was on the chopping block and that resolution with Rumple was best off happening here for that reason.

Favorite Dynamic

Regal Believer. Who else could it be? Just...I love these two! Now, part of me feels bad because Henry plays a much more passive role in this episode than he does in other cases where Regal Believer’s won. In the past, he’s just a baby and in the present, he only has one or two scenes where he talks to anyone. But Henry’s effect on Regina just by the sheer fact that he exists is so much in and of itself. Just by being Henry, he inspires Regina to be her best self.

Writer

Christine Boylan and Daniel Thomsen come off of “Good Form” to write today’s episode! And you know that I loved it. “Solid” is the word of the day here. There’s so much that has to be resolved here and it’s paced so well that one would be surprised by all that was accomplished! Like, Henry is “saved,” Emma recruits the Lost Boys, Rumple is recovered and reconciles with Bae, we see Regina and Henry’s origins, and we see the plan to escape Neverland enacted. That’s a lot for forty four minutes! But the writing and pacing make it feel so natural and while fast-paced, never rushed.

Rating

Golden Apple. What a fantastic episode! It’s beautiful, emotional, tightly written, and has some solid character work! It’s just enjoyable as hell!

-----

I’m all caught up...with last week’s entries! Still three left to go, but I’ve got this!

Thank you all for reading and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales!

Next time, we relocate from Neverland...to The New Neverland. See you guys then!

Season 3 Total (86/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (19/60) Kalinda Vazquez (17/40) Andrew Chambliss (17/50) Jane Espenson (10/30) David Goodman (20/40) Robert Hull (20/40) Christine Boylan (20/20)* Daniel Thomsen (20/30)

* Indicates that their work for the season is complete

Operation Rewatch Archives

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Perry Mason Episode 4 Review: Chapter Four

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This Perry Mason review contains spoilers.

Perry Mason Episode 4

Perry Mason’s “Chapter Four” is a long denouement for the Emily Dodson (Gayle Rankin) legal team. The woman who has been accused of, at the very least, conspiring to aid in the kidnapping which led to the death of her child, is running out of options. The entire episode shows her falling through every loophole laid out for her, except of course, the ones that Perry Mason (Matthew Rhys) employs to circumvent the law.

John Lithgow can really elicit sympathy. Stephen Root’s district attorney Maynard Barnes is relishing his every courtroom punch, and E.B. gets the emotional wind knocked out of him several times. Every time it looks like E.B. Jonathan has something tangible which can help his client, even a little bit, small implosions happen in different parts of his body as they are taken away. Yes, the judge agrees Emily Dodson should be in protective custody, and yes, the cops better not pull any more “shenanigans,” like trying to beat confessions out of her, but even these small victories are ultimately pointless. She is still going to rot in jail because of a bail she can’t pay, and her husband is going to testify against her. E.B. can’t bail her out because his own financials are in shambles and each hit sinks him deeper until Barnes delivers the rabbit punch of disbarment.

After promising to bring the Charlie Dodson boy back from the dead, Sister Alice (Tatiana Maslany) gets a slightly less than thoughtful gift from one of her flock: a snack box filled with snakes. This is a particularly subversive and frightening scene, especially as the little kid so horribly cute she could be in a Norman Rockwell painting. Alice is teetering between breakdown and breakthrough at all times. Even in her quiet moments, there are flashes of the zealotry behind the eyes. But her turnaround moment is when a true believer delivers a blanket during a press conference because “Charlie Dodson will rise again,” and when he does, “he will be cold.” Alice drinks the entire scene, crowd and all, into her soul before she reverts to the evangelical prophet which delights her fans and frightens her handlers.

“Blasphemer,” Elder Brown (David Wilson Barnes) screams with such fervent conviction it goes way beyond righteous indignation. This is a guy who can cast a first stone and just might get his rocks off doing it. Alice’s mother (Lili Taylor) is stuck between a hard place as Alice becomes spiritually ready to roll post-trauma into a Lazarus hat trick. Maslany brings a very delicate balance to the imbalance of spiritual sight. Taylor is amazing to watch as everything we know her character is feeling is immediately thrust below the surface, hidden from sight, but only barely. One wants so badly to immerse herself into belief. The other is almost waterproof.

No one is looking for a fourth man in the Dodson case except Mason and Pete Strickland (Shea Whigham), the latter of whom quips the trail is “vanishing like the blush of innocence.” This is an endearing scene in the show for both characters as it reveals a poetic depth and a surprised appreciation in each man. It’s a fun acting moment to watch because it is almost the opposite of breaking character. Both actors break further into the character with the same ease they break into coroners’ offices.

Virgil (Jefferson Mays), the mortician, gets a day away from the formaldehyde. He wonders, hopefully, if Perry and Strickland stole him away to show him pornography and one of the funniest bits to come from the Strickland when he offers to go get some. He is never at a loss for a good comeback in general, but here you can hear how much he would actually enjoy sharing some illicit bric-a-brac. But no, Virgil isn’t picked up for that. Some people can’t get away from work.

Perry Mason broke a lot of rules in the early books of the series, and here we get an example of a very inventive interpretation of habeas corpus. I don’t know if the novelized Mason ever stole a body, Raymond Burr’s Mason would never do such a thing. But HBO’s Mason and his investigative partner take George Gannon’s (Aaron Stanford) body from the county coroner and drop it off in their friendly neighborhood mortician’s jurisdiction. This is really pretty ingenious. The police ruled Gannon’s death a suicide, and country coroner Frank Nazz “fucked up” his report “because he was told to,” Mason explains. He and Strickland try to prop Virgil up as a hero, but in the end, he feels so small he could fit in a lady’s purse.

Read more

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Perry Mason Episode 3 Review: Chapter Three

By Tony Sokol

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Perry Mason Episode 2 Review: Chapter Two

By Tony Sokol

Perry Mason is at least inventive in its portrayal of fetishes. Most shows go for S&M and leave it at that. This series already dished out a tasty helping of sitophilia. (Chubby actually takes his revenge on Mason tonight for ruining a guilty pleasure in the opening episode. He also wants his shoe back in the memorable and revealing scene.) The cathouse that Detective Ennis (Andrew Howard) shakes down has ornate pages of fetishes to choose from on its sexual menu. Virgil has a shrink kink, which is an interesting embellishment for a guy who works in such proximity to embalming fluid. It probably isn’t in the books but, as a detail, it captures the pulpy flavor of the original novel series while updating it.

Also in this episode, we learn more about Della Street (Juliet Rylance) and her girlfriend, who lives with her but maintains the necessitated secrecy of the era. The lesbian relationship doesn’t really add to Della’s character, though it is a striking contrast to the shriller depictions of the time. Della’s been pushed to the limit at work, but it is still quite surprising to see her lash out at E.B. The attorney at large is shrinking as quickly as the mortician Virgil’s fantasias, but still fills an exalted position over everyone in his capsizing ship. Emily looks at him with the same desperate faith she saved for Sister Alice. Perry may play hired hand but bullies his mentor with unbridled but unspoken pleas to be unleashed.

By the end, E.B. is a caged animal and this episode belongs to Lithgow. Not because it is the last we will see him, but for the downward arc which plays out from hairline to lower lip. E.B. is not in every scene. He’s not even the main character of the show, which is far more of an ensemble piece than the classic TV series. But he leaves his emotional imprint on every second of screen time. When Mason doesn’t find something he’s looking for, we remember how it will impact E.B.’s case. When Detective Innis shuts down a lead, we flash on how it’s going to screw up E.B.’s plans.

“Chapter Four” is a squeeze play. Outside forces push the old guard out like fingers on a tube of toothpaste. It is a great setup for a takedown. The entire episode ducks and weaves in a combination of punches which knock the wind out of the movement, not entirely unlike how Alfred Hitchcock disrupts Psycho by abruptly changing the focal point character. The actual closing statement is one of Perry Mason‘s least abrupt lane-changers. It plays out in slow motion, both as an artfully photographed closing scene, and as a forgone conclusion from the very opening shot.

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