#like thats a whole war game take yourself more seriously

[shjkgegs]

the tellius games a truly the best fire emblem to ever exist. their lore is done very well the gameplay is great the soundtrack is great the character design and artstyle are sl beautiful even the voice acting is pretty ok in both dubs

[babymorte]

Hey, sorry for taking ages to reply to your answer to my anon, I had a very long day yesterday, so I didn't really get much chance to come online.

Zombies is always fun to play, I sometimes play the bo1 zombies woth my little brother, the older ones just seem so much better than the newer black ops zombies, the new one just feels a little boring, the old ones were actually hard once you get passed a certain round😅 cod World at War zombies was probably my favourite tbh.

Haha well at least you were just happy to be there and enjoy the game though, games take a little while to get used to playing anyway, plus the more you play the better you'll be at the game. The halo games were so good back when everybody used to play them online, nobody really seems to play halo anymore though🤷‍♂️ the online games were always so good!

You're doing well at the game then by the sounds of it! The new movement takes a little getting used to, doesn't it?😅 you're nearly 10th prestiege?👀 fair enough haha. The ranked is probably gonna be very competitive, but it'll probably be even more fun to play because of that! Do you play warzone? That's pretty good too! Yeah, i might have to give it another go🙂😅

That's messed up that the people you've trusted have done those kinda things to you, i seriously don't get why some people are all so fucked in the head tbh, just shitty people everywhere these days, and it makes it so hard to trust anybody🙄 Having defence mechanisms and beijg a private person is a good thing though seeing as how the world and people are these days, that's good that you don't really give a shit anymore, but it's not right that you've had people you trust do those things to you!

Being selective with who you let in or let get close to you is definitely a good thing! And honestly I can both understand and relate to all of that, being manipulated, used, lied to, and played for a fool has been my whole experience with ever person I've ever let get close to me, and the ones I cared about and trusted the most are the ones that were the worst🙃 people are shit😂 Thats fair enough haha and okay, well in that case you'll be able to understand my ramblings😂

Yeah, that does make sense. Obviously it's gotta be nice that people hype you up, but I get that upholding convos can be hard at tikes and seeing as you get a lot of messages and asks, that kinda just puts pressure on you to reply, ut you don't have to reply to anybody unless you want to, what you do is your business (the dickheads that send the horrible anons need to understand that your business is yoir own, and if they can't be nice then they should just leave you tf alone, i saw soke of the anons you get and these people have screws loose to think that it's okay to talk to anybody like that!). Yeah, i can get that haha, makes it easier to make conversation if you're talking about interests and stuff that you enjoy talking about!

Haha no that doesn't make you sound cunty at all😂 feeling like it's better to keep to yourself is relatable haha. Yeah it can be really nice when you come across someone who's just easy to talk to and make conversation with, most people are just judgemental and hard to talk to, but not everybody haha, it helps if the person has common interests and stuff to talk about too, i find 90% of people hard to talk to myself ngl😂 That's good to hear that you're enjoying the convo too😊 i think we might be taking up people's feed with our long asks/answers though🤣 Annoying me? No, that's definitely not that case, you can ramble away as much as you like😂

I can see why you'd have a hard time trusting people easily after being manipulated like that, that's kinda why I find it hard to trust people, everybody screws me over eventually🤷‍♂️😂 That's good that youre quick to realise when you're being manipulated and that though! And yeah I have a thing with pattern recognition too, i think that might just be the tism though, idk if it's the same for you🤷‍♂️😂 Yeah, i can understand that, actions definitely speak louder than words, and that's good, you shouldn't share anything that you're not comfortable with people knowing/seeing, people just tend to use whatever information they can get to screw people over these days, there are reasons why I'm more of an animal person than a people person😂

Yeah we have bats over here haha, and the bat cave in the zoo is so good! The first time I went there a bat landed on my head😂 going to the zoo after dark to see the nocturnal animals sounds so cool! I'd love that😍 that's cool that you got to hold a bat and tarantula! I've held both of those myself, the tarantula creeped me out a little at first though ngl😂 I'd rather hold a bat or a snake haha.

Haha well at least they know and are understanding about you being bad with replies😂 its the same for me though tbh, I talk to like 5 or 6 people on here, but sometimes there's like a week between each message both on there end and on my end😂 thats just how conversations are though I guess, i mean people are busy with their lives and stuff haha. Ngl I don't think I'd like that, to just have my notes at 99+ all the time, id end up wanting to delete them all, id get annoyed at seeing that😂 "a fuckhead magnetic of all sorts"😂🤣 nah, to be fair, there are so many of those 'fuckheads' out there so I doubt you're a magnet for them, they're just creeps/pests🤣

-🦇

oh no like legit do not feel the need to reply to me but thank you for the consideration 😭🙏🏻 im sorry your day was long though that’s rough 😓

wait really?? in my old friend group we would play custom maps and zombies in WaW! i mean i was terrible at the customs but i played a lot of timesplitters 2 as a kid and the zombie minigame came in clutch 😂 but bo6 zombies is so so good!! like i liked cold war zombies cuz i want an open world resident evil a la the division but i want treyarch to do it cuz they nailed bo6 zombies like its round based like the old ones and theres two modes: standard and directed. im shit so i cant play standard without being carried a lil bit towards the end cuz the rounds are unlimited in standard and it gets chaotic in the high high from what ive seen 😅 the highest i got was 42 and it was insanity. if you play it in 3rd person it feels super arcadey plus its just so satisfying just mowing shit down 😂

yes!! i honestly had a blast it was basically like watching a movie 😂 i grew up playing CE and all i had were private matches with family but i didn’t play any of the others until last year and i hate myself for it. i wanna read all the books too 😅 but i still play! not online cuz i would get my ass bear but i’m currently playing through infinite 🤩 it’s one of my ‘i don’t know what to play to pass time’ games cuz you can just grapple around and fuck off it’s honestly great i just wish there were more enemies 😓 i do wanna try halo online but i think i wanna see if i can play through 4 and 5 first cuz im not sure i can handle it 😂

ahh im doing better than i was 😅 i do okay for my lobbies but as soon as someone else joins i get fucked 😂 it’s still such a blast playing in the harder lobbies plus it helps me learn so i can get even better 🤩 its frustrating being a perfectionist 😓😅 ah yes! i hit 10p last night im so hype. i only went up 8 levels today though cuz i was playing in a harder lobby but league is this weekend so i’ll be mindlessly playing while i watch that n hopefully i’ll hit max 😂 oh my gosh no kidding the only shooter i really played before this was fortnite and cod is very much not fortnite 😂 it just takes practice so im sure i’ll get there eventually 🤩 oh i can only imagine it’ll be super competitive 😓 it’d be nice to have a squad to play with n go up the ranks with but i already asked a friend who’s really good at cod but hasn’t played ranked yet n they were just like nahh 😂😂 i know i’d be frustrating to play with i get stressed out easily n i simply cannot do search i will cry. but you really should! look up some gameplay maybe~ it’s very much not like old cod though i will say that but the omnimovement is so much fun i think it’s worth it just for that 😅

ahh no it’s really okay i didn’t mean anything by it just the reason the walls are adamantium 😅 but it is what it is you know? you can’t control how people treat you, you can only control how you react~ so i lock it all away so i dont have to deal with it 😂😂😂 no but jokes aside yea it does make it hard to trust people but that’s my problem i give too much benefit for my own good and people take advantage of it but that’s okay because i know they’re only treating me like this because they’re unhappy and that has nothing to do with me 😌

yes! honestly i think having a small circle of ride or dies is so much better like the only people i keep in touch with ive known since school and we’re like actual family but like i just have a permanent side eye to everyone else 😅 im sorry you’ve had to go through anything similar to me that’s awful 😔 i dont understand how people can do that you know? like ive lost friends ive known for loads of years because i found out they were mind fucking me the entire time like you gotta be some kind of fucked to be able to do stuff like that to people 😩 and yea those absolutely hurt the most 😓 especially because you just never expect it you know? it’s wild. ah yea no i totally gotchu ✌🏻😂

ah it is appreciated! i never expect it though i’m just grateful that people are so kind. but keeping up with everything does get overwhelming i can’t lie 😅 but like i don’t like ignoring anyone so i really do try to respond so long as i have the mental capacity but if i don’t i still will try 😅 but no yea the anons ohhh the anons 🥲 im certain it’s one person that just doesn’t like me and their sole purpose is to bring me down. the only reason i reply to those is because i think it’s the same person and i think i know who it is so if im bored fuck if they can have a little dopamine boost from my attention since it’s clearly what they’re after 😂 like i don’t lose sleep over that stuff it’s just words you know? oh that’s very true 🤩 especially on the internet yea like there’s communities for everything 🤩 but also sometimes the vibes just there too ya know?

oh well that’s a relief 😅 yeaa if you keep to yourself you don’t have too many worries 🤩 ah really?? i don’t understand judgemental people like you can dislike something but don’t judge someone off it what do they gain? i find most people that gravitate towards are mad two faced and it’s just so icky like it takes zero effort to not be a bad person 😅 but it is nice isn’t it? some people just mesh well. ahh yes it’s been nice~! ah that’s true i have my replies hidden in a continue and i’ll tag it with a lil bat so they can just block it if they want. or they can unfollow me either one is fine 😂 oh my gosh do not give me those permissions because i do not have an off switch 😂😂

ahh yes i really am a magnet for those people it’s quite unfortunate 😓 awwah no i get that and im sorry people are constantly fucking you over you deserve better than that you know 😔 people can be so heartless can’t they 😓 ah yes i think that absolutely explains it 😅 and like i like being able to do that because behavioural patterns are so interesting to me like once you know the patterns people really do become so predictable it’s strange. oh absolutely words don’t mean shit if the actions don’t match. that’s something i was told recently and it’s been my new like motto of sorts? like even im all talk sometimes but constantly reminding myself that keeps me accountable 😅 oh my gosh seriously everything should be kept on a need to know basis like no one needs to know anything about you because people will use that shit so fast you won’t even see it coming and it’s just such a gut punch 😓 im definitely more of an animal person i literally just chill with my dog 90% of the time 😂

i really had no idea that’s so dope 🤩 i can only imagine !! did it really that’s honestly so adorable bats are so adorable 😭 ah it was such a dope experience n i’ve been twice and the second time was more recently and they had owls just chillen in the buildings 😂 oh have you really?? that’s wild! but tarantulas are so fuzzy ! i can totally see how it can bug you out though they can get pretty huge too 😅 oooo i haven’t held a snake since i was a kid! snakes are so chill they’ll just coil around whatever you put em on 😂

ah yes! everyone’s super sweet and understanding i adore them to bits~ oh yea you do keep a small circle huh it’s nice you’re all able to keep in touch often~ ah yes people have their own things going on. having friends as an adult is hard hey 😂 oh it absolutely frustrates the shit out of me 😂 i just have too many dms to get rid of from all the years before i made it so not everyone could message me so i just kinda deal 😅 ahh that may be true but i can guarantee i am an absolute fuckhead magnet i can probably count on one head the people i know who aren’t n im sure the ones that haven’t found me yet have me on their trackers though 😂😂

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Jealous ll

Part 2!!!! I linked the sone again cause its a bop and I love it also heres pt one!

You had had enough

Thats what you kept telling yourself

As you got ready tonight

You weren't going sit in the house anymore waiting for keigo to show up whenever he felt like it

Tonight you were going out for you

You thought about how you used to have fun, how you used to be happy

And how miserable you had been lately and you decided

If Keigo didnt appreciate you anymore

Then you'd find someone who would

So thats why you found yourself looking in the mirror admiring how well you dressed up tonight to go out

You almost forgot how hot you were when you put in a little effort

You had originally stopped because keigo would tell you how beautiful and perfect you were without make up or anything

But now you were on the prowl for someone new to notice you and keigo's words meant little to nothing to you right now

Tonight you were gonna find someone to show you just a little bit of attention you craved so much and it wasnt going to be keigo

Just then you saw keigo staring at you from the reflection in mirror

he was home unusually eailer

"Dont you have to work?" You asked bitterly

"Where are you going?" He asked ignoring your statement

Sighed and rolling your eyes and picking up your purse you turned to him before leaving the bedroom, "Out. You don't have to wait up for me."

"You're being ridiculous y/n."

He said following you but you ignored him

"Y/n? Y/n?" He kept calling you, "You cant just go out an-"

"And why not?" You turned to him before you left the apartment, "according to you were not even really dating-"

"You know why that is." He told you seriously

You huffed out a fake laugh, "yeah, but its still okay for you to flirt with anyone?"

Keigo didnt respond to that making you chuckle, "Exactly...like I said im going out dont wait up." Then you slammed the door leaving.

You knew you were being unreasonable with him

You knew the two of you needed to just talk and make up

But you kept letting your anger from all your arguments cloud your judgment

Because you just wanted him to feel the same hurt and jealously you had been feeling more then anything

Keigo stared at the door you had just slammed

Things somehow got worse in the following days after your argument on your anniversary

You refused to talk to him

He tried to apologize to you but you basically brushed him off

Keigo wasn't sure what to think you said you hated him, you wouldnt sleep in the bed with him

Yet you hadn't packed up and left so that was good right?

But that distance that was growing between the two of you was wider then before

And he didnt know what to do to fix it

And now you were going out clearly dressed to find someone else

Did you really hate him? Had you really had enough of him?

Hell, he couldnt even blame you if you did he thought

You had put up with so much of him up until now

And maybe some of what you said the other night was true? Had he gotten too comfortable with you always being there?

But that was only because he loved you

Keigo was truly in love with you, and dispite you suspensions he never cheated on you

And he would never do that, you were the only one he wanted even now when you two seemed to be at each others throats

He still wanted you, and he couldn't picture his life without you

So thats why he ended up following you to the bar you were currently at

He made sure you hadnt noticed him staying in the back out of your sight

And he hated what he saw

He saw you having fun

You had met up with some of your girlfriends the three of you all laughing and drinking

You acting like you didnt have a care in the world, like the two of you didnt argue before you left out

Having a good time as if you didnt leave him alone in the house

He watched you dancing as though you were having the time of your life as other mean stared and gawked at you

He watched as a guy singled you out and was clearly flirting with you

And worst you let him and was encouraging him

You kept touching his shoulder laughing at his jokes letting him dance against you

Words couldnt describe the irritation he felt watching

He wanted nothing more then to rip that mans hands off you and fly away with you in his arms

But part of him felt like he deserved this

This feeling he had, was it how you felt?

If so he needed to fix this, was all that he could think

And he was about to go to you, but before he could someone called out his name

"Hey! Hawks is here!"

Fuck he said to himself when a crowd started to form around him

His eyes then connected with yours knowing you heard he was here

And for a moment he thought you were gonna come up to him

But instead you kept talking to the random guy ignoring him

Hawks wanted to go to you and talk to just take you back home

But was having trouble getting away from the crowd

He was all smiles talking to his fans but the whole time he kept his eyes on you

But somehow it became a battle to see who was going to be more stubborn

You continued to dance with the random guy, but now you knew keigo was here watching you

You convinced yourself not to care, you came here to have fun and he wasnt going to ruin it for you

But thats just what he was doing as you watched him talk to some random girl now

He was here to get under you skin, you were sure of it

But two could play this little game

Both of you having this little war with each other watching each other from across the room

And you couldnt lie you were enjoying it a bit

Seeing his eyes watching you, knowing he had to be feeling the sting of jealousy as another man held you close

But It all came to a head when you saw the girl he was dancing with lips on his neck

He wasnt looking at you when you saw that all his attention clearly on her

You couldn't deny the sharp feeling in your chest at the sight

And not wanting to see anymore you left the dance floor telling the guy you needed to go to the bathroom

Hawks pulled away from the handsy fan

Denying anymore of her advances

Yeah he had been trying to get under your skin now but thats was a bit much

But now when he looked up to find you again, only to see you were gone

His stomach sank

Where did you go? You had to had just seen that?

Did you leave with that guy? Hawks started to panic when he didnt seem him either

Where did you go? Why was he being so stupid just now? He should have just went to talk to you

Just then keigo noticed the guy you had been flirting with at the bar and went up to him

"The girl you were dancing with? Where'd she go?"

The guy looked at him like he was crazy "whats it too you?" He challenged him

But keigo wasnt in a playful mood and grabbed the man by the collar, "Answer the question asshole."

The guy quickly put his hands up in defeat, "she just said-

"Hawks?"

He heard his name called out and looked behing him to see you

"What are- you are so unbelievable." Yku shook your head storming off

You couldn't believe him he had the audacity to attack the guy you had been talking to

It didnt take much thought to figure out why

And it annoyed you to no end

So keigo could flirt and let girls kiss all over him but if you had a guy around you that was too much

He was such a hypocrite

You were angry your whole way back home

You stood in the mirror once you got back

But with a different feeling in your stomach then the feeling you had before you left

You felt defeated your plans of fun had been ruined and you felt like your back in the same spot you had been in

Hawks was giving you a little bit of space taking his time getting back home

Because now you were probably madder than before at him

When hr got in he saw you had just got out the shower

"Y/n..."

You heard him call out your name But you ignored him

Y/n, you have to listen to me."

You werent going to turned around but before you knew it he hugged you from behind

"Im sorry."

"Let go of me hawks." You spat out but he didnt budge

"Just listen to me y/n..."

"Why are we doing this to each other?" You asked quietly, "Why do you keep hurting me? What are we even doing? It clearly isnt wor-"

"Ive been an idiot, y/n."

Keigo buried his face in your neck, "I've been so stupid, but please please dont leave me."

You were trying to fight back tears, "I dont want to leave you keigo....but I cant-"

"Dont say you can't with me anymore. I need you." Keigo pleaded holding you tighter

You were so frustrated

You still loved him, you still wanted to be with him, because when things are good between you they're great

But the way your relationship had been it was becoming too much

But you wanted to stay with him

Because you loved him

You moved your hands and held on to his arms secretly enjoying his embrace that you missed so much

"I know you mean well keigo-"

"I love you so much y/n," keigo cut you off again, "I know ive been an asshole, ive been neglectful, ive been the worst, but dont give up on me. Please."

You finally turned around to face him and hugged him back

You could see the sincerity in his eyes as you did "I love you too keigo but I just cant do this- we keep hurting each other...thats not what your supposed to do to the people you love."

Keigo pulled back "You want me to tell everyone about us? I will." He told you, "You want me to tell you everything ive been doing I will, I promise you Ill to whatever it takes to fix us. I dont want to live the way we have anymore."

You knew he was serious and your heart leaped hearing his words but you werent sure

"You're the only one I want y/n" he said giving you a light kiss

Almost like he was asking for permission

"Ill do whatever it takes for you to forgive me."

He said inbetween kisses, "you're so important to me, im sorry i made you think you weren't."

You couldnt lie he was finally saying everything you wanted to hear

And you wanted to believe him

"You promise?" You asked him

"I promise."

[unstoppableforcce]

a new dawn

CHAPTER ELEVEN: a family thing

pairing: Poe Dameron x reader (modern au)

previous part | next part | masterlist

a/n: first of all, this was a 7k part so for now, you’re only getting the first 3.3k. second, thats not my bank account password lol, just some fun banter. and third, I’m no expert in healing or father son relationships, but I’m trying to tell this story for Poe and his dad !

“Na na na...”

The radio was playing faintly, some kind of rock station. He was much more interested in the soothing hum falling from your lips as you followed along, tapping your fingers along the steering wheel. He’d focus on anything if it meant he didn’t have to come to terms with being only about five minutes away from the house he grew up in, but the sound of your voice was particularly enticing over the hum of the tires against the asphalt of the road.

He knew he was doing the right thing, that seeing his dad was something he couldn’t run away from anymore, but that didn’t make him feel any better about it.

“You think you’ve changed since you last saw him, and that scares you?” Holdo had asked in their session the day before, her pen still ticking at a grounding rhythm against the pad in her lap, her purple hair brighter like she had just redyed it.

“No.” He sighed, adjusting in his seat for the tenth time that hour. “I don’t know.”

“Do you have pleasant memories surrounding your father?”

He did. He truly did.

He remembered baseball games, hitting practices and orange slices, the fresh taste of summer on his tongue as he pulled on his dad’s sleeve, begging him for an ice cream because it wasn’t fair that Ben was getting one and he wasn’t.

“Seriously Solo,” Kes has scoffed, hitting Han playfully on the back as he pulled Poe into line for the truck, ���making me look like the bad guy.”

“Oh trust me, I’m going to be the bad guy in five minutes when Ben’s shirt is bright red and Leia catches sight of it.” Han laughed out, not even bothering to hand a napkin to the long-haired boy happily sucking on his red popsicle .

He remembered the way his dad boosted him onto his hip, stealing a lick of his ice cream and laughing as he pushed his nose into it. He remembered the way his mother swooped in, napkin in hand to wipe it off gently and press a kiss to his forehead.

He remembered the way his parents cheered when he hit the ball off the tee, he remembered when he tripped and fell and his dad was there to pick him up and pat him on the back, tell him “it’s just a scratch, walk it off, you’ve got a game to win buddy.”

But he also remembered the drinking.

A year after Shara died, those same little league games became day drinking fests for him and the other dads. Until Han had to drive them home, Kes stumbling into the house and grabbing another beer before settling into his chair and maybe not getting up the rest of the night.

Poe remembered coming home from Leia’s after a long weekend and finding his dad passed out in that exact chair, empty cans on the table that Leia picked up, assuring Poe that his Dad had just “had a long day.”

Kes Dameron had a lot of long days.

Learning to drive saved Poe from a lot of it. He couldn’t be late to baseball practice if he could drive himself, and after a while, he stopped being disappointed when he looked into the stands at his games and found Leia and not his own dad. Maybe he had just grown used to it.

He got used to the fighting too.

It didn’t matter what any of it was about, the two of them could scream at each other and wake up the next morning, launching straight into the silent treatment, like nothing was wrong. Because if Poe brought it up, Kes would shut him down.

Kes Dameron didn’t fight. “I did all my fighting in the war,” he explained maybe a hundred times to Poe, “I don’t fight, I argue.”

It wasn’t all bad. He had his moments.

He took Poe to get his suit before prom, even took pictures of him before he left for the night to pick up the girl he was taking.

“You know I took your mother to Prom, she looked so beautiful...” he sighed, grabbing the corsage from the fridge and passing it to Poe, tears already welling in his eyes. “You have her eyes.”

Poe tried to laugh it off but Kes just reached his hand up to brush a curl back from his face, “and you’ve got my stupid forehead.”

And the day Poe called to tell him he was getting a dog and that he may need him to “watch him while I’m away on my next tour.” He swore Kes had a heart attack over the phone when all he got back was silence at first.

Then there was a chuckle, “it better be a cute one, I’m not watching an ugly dog.”

He was happily surprised Poe found one as cute as he did.

But that was where the happy memories ended.

He remembered a fight, over the holidays, and he didn’t remember much more after that. It was four, maybe five years ago and the only contact they had since was after he got injured, calling his dad just to let him know.

He wished that wasn’t the case. He wished he was seeing his dad every other week for dinner like the two of you did with Leia and Han, or that he was helping him fix a car instead of moving Leia’s bedroom downstairs... it wasn’t that he didn’t love Leia and Han, it wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful for being so welcomed in their family, that wasn’t even close to being it. It was just that he wanted his own dad too.

“He lives an hour away?” Holdo asked, not able to hide the evident shock in her voice as Poe reluctantly nodded, “you need to see him.”

“What If he doesn’t want to see me...”

“You’re his son.” Holdo sighed, “besides, if you want to move on to the next chapter of your life, you have to feel secure in the last chapter first.”

The song on the radio changed, this one much slower, but you hummed along to it all the same.

He wanted that new chapter.

“It’s a left up here.” He sighed, rubbing at his brow as he sat up in the passenger seat beside you. As much as he would have loved to point out the pizza shop on the corner where he got his first job, he just didn’t have the breath for it as you turned down the street he knew would ultimately lead into his neighborhood.

“You doing okay?” You hummed still, fingers tapping to the music, grounding him the same way Holdo’s tapping pen did.

“Yeah...”

“You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?”

He glanced back to you, given you a gentle nod but focusing mainly on the elements of your face, each one so beautiful, he suddenly felt like he didn’t admire you enough. He needed to do that more.

“Where am I going?” You snapped his gaze back to the street and he cleared his throat.

“Two more block, then a left. It’s Yavin street, the fourth house down.”

“Yavin...”

He glanced back to you, “what?”

“It’s a funny word, that’s all.” You laughed to yourself, “and now I can break into your bank account, I’ve got all the answers to your security questions.”

“Shouldn’t be that hard, the password is your name...”

The laughter that bubbled out of you this time was different, much warmer, if that were even possible. And the way your smile lit up was unlike anything else, just when he thought he needed to admire you more—

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, it’s your name, then BB, then a couple of numbers.” He couldn’t help but mimic your laughter, even as you turned onto Yavin street and began counting houses, “what’s yours?”

“It’s going to sound so stupid in comparison...”

“Stupider than your name, our dog’s name and some numbers?” He chuckled, trying to put all his focus on you and not the green house as you turned into the driveway.

“bubblesthefish”

The laughter that tore out of him was much more mocking than yours had been, “bubbles the fish?”

“And then a couple numbers.”

“Who the hell is bubbles the fish?” He scoffed, turning to face you as you turned the car off.

“My pet when I was a kid.” You shook your head before burying your face into your hands, “I had a different one but I had to change it a few years ago.”

“Wow.”

“Stop laughing at me.”

“Nope. Never.” He chuckled, but the laughter finally died down as he looked ahead, no choice now but to get out of the car and face the reality he was so quick to let you distract him from.

He could do this, he told himself, unstrapping his seatbelt. He had to do this, he repeated. And when you grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, he knew he could do it, kicking the door open and finally putting his foot down on the concrete.

Deep breaths in, deep breaths out.

“So this is where you grew up?” You hummed, locking the doors on the car and quickly moving until you were beside him, taking his hand again. “I can see it.”

“Yeah?” He choked out back to you, as his chest released a shaking breath.

“Yeah, just a little mop of curls running around with a ginormous corgi, orange and white, chasing behind you...” you laughed as you pulled yourself closer into his side.

“We had a German Shepard.” He sighed, “growing up, his name was 3PO... from the same litter as Leia’s dog, R2...”

“Weird names...” you continued to laugh but this time, he didn’t manage to return it. Pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, you gave his hand another squeeze, “do you want me to stop trying to cheer you up?”

He shook his head, “never.”

“You’d tell me if you weren’t okay, right?”

“I can do this.”

And with that, the two of you began walking up the driveway, slowly but surely, until you were at the front door, the whole front porch lined with plants that, surprisingly enough to Poe, were all still alive and well. His mother used to tend to the plants out front, his dad in charge of those in the back...

He lifted his hand to knock but brought it back down, clearing his throat and bringing it up again, this time actually colliding his knuckles with the wood.

Now all the two of you could do was wait. But you didn’t have to wait long before a booming voice called from the living room “Just a moment,” and thundering steps made their way to the door.

He hadn’t called, terrified that he would’ve gotten into it over the phone and this was something that needed to be done face to face... but now, he was practically shaking from the thought of doing it face to face, over the phone would have been so much better—

“How can I—“

As the door swung open, the booming voice shuddered to a stop, his eyes landing landing on the two of you and his throat losing all its previous strength. The man looked just like Poe, really, a spitting image with slightly more intense eyebrows and much grayer hair, but overwhelmingly similar.

Except the curls and eyes.

You had seen pictures of Shara, they must have all come from her.

“Poe...”

He swallowed, squeezing your hand so tight he nearly feared he’d rip it off, “dad...”

He didn’t mean to do it, he wasn’t even thinking about it, but he moved you a step behind him, careful to keep himself between you and the man in the doorway.

But, as fast as a switch flipping, the somber aura that spilled from the doorway was washed away, a winning smile not too unlike Poe’s making its way to the older man’s lips, all of his attention turning to you.

“You must be his girlfriend, the doctor?”

His hand extended to you, but you had to break away from Poe to shake it, so you hesitantly passed a glance his way, searching for any sense of direction in his shaking stare ahead. He released your hand and that was the only message you needed, wiping it on your pants briefly before grabbing his, firm and calloused, to shake, your mouth opening to tell him your name.

“It’s nice to meet you...”

“Leia has mentioned you... she tries not to talk about Poe too much but I always ask...” he said nervously before pulling back, all of his attention shifting back to Poe. “Do you two want to come in?”

You looked back to Poe as he inhaled a breath even deeper than the last before answering, “yeah...”

You didn’t know what you expected, you didn’t even know how this compared to the house that Poe remembered, but it certainly caught you off guard.

Poe had only briefly mentioned that his drinking was a part of the reason why the two of them didn’t talk, but it wasn’t alcohol you smelled, it was something sweeter, maybe lavender? Like a candle was burning somewhere. And there was no sign of distress or forgetfulness, everything was clean and orderly, like he had cleaned before you two came even though he had no reason to expect the two of you.

And the walls... they were lined with pictures, all of them of Poe and his mom.

The table behind the couch in the living room had a picture of the whole family and even a baseball on a stand, scribbled on with the handwriting of a little boy, next to a glove that could only fit a kid.

You had no clue what to expect but Poe did, and this caught him completely off guard.

The day he left after the fight, there had been no pictures. His dad took them all down after Shara died, every single one of them, and the only pictures, besides those on prom night, were taken by Leia as he grew up. But this house was covered in them now, like a shrine... he couldn’t catch his breath as he turned back to his dad, tears beginning to well in his eyes as he squeezed your hand even more.

“Can I get y’all something to drink? Water, soda, I think I have some lemonade in there—“

“No, I think we’re okay—

“What the hell happened in here...” Poe finally let the words tumble from his lips, ignoring his welcoming sentiment, incapable of thinking of anything else as he looked around.

“I uh...” Kes stuttered on his words, his hands in front of him, fingers pulling on each other roughly, “can we sit down?”

He gestured to the living room and Poe quickly followed, eyes still scanning the surroundings as he pulled you along with him.

The blanket strewn over the back of the couch was one his mother used to call her favorite, grey and plush, the warmest thing in the house... Poe hadn’t seen it in years. He couldn’t even stop himself from reaching out to touch it as his dad settled into his chair, the same chair, still angled at the tv, the game humming on near silently in the background.

He remembered getting yelled at one morning, he couldn’t have been older than ten... he wanted to play catch, but Kes wanted to watch the game, stars forbid anyone ever talk over the game...

But as he settled into the chair, he quickly grabbed the remote and switched the whole thing off, all of his attention turned towards the two of you on the couch.

“Are you okay?” You whispered into his ear but he could only manage to squeeze your hand again to respond, his attention as directed to his father as his was back to him.

“I’ve been wanting to have you over for a while, Leia kept telling me that it wasn’t a good time, that things were rough for you and I didn’t want to intrude in your life...” Kes ranted out, sounding more like a nervous kid than he did the seasoned war veteran that Poe had warned you he was. “I’m so glad that you’re here, I really can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’d come, that you’d bring her, that you’d...”

Poe held his stare, even as his voice lost strength, he waited for him to keep going.

He took a shuddering breath in, his hands still rubbing roughly together, “Step nine... to make amends... stars, I’ve been practicing what I would say when I saw you for months...”

“Step nine? As in AA?” Poe asked carefully, shifting his hand to your knee, your hand laying gently over his.

“I’ve been sober for almost a year now...” Kes laughed nervously, the sound almost foreign to Poe’s ears when it came from the man across from him. “I actually get my one year chip at the end of this next month...”

Poe could do math.

At the end of next month would be a year since his accident, since Snap died, since he called him from the hospital to tell him... you squeezed his hand, clearly you could too.

“Do you want me to give you guys some time alone?” You hesitantly asked Poe but he shook his head, he needed you beside him.

“Keep going...” he said quickly to Kes and he nodded.

“I haven’t been myself for years, decades even, Poe, I know you know that... losing your mother was the worst thing that could ever... I thought that losing her was the end of me.” He began explaining, “it wasn’t until you called that I realized how stupid I had been for years, I cared so much about losing her, I was so cold, I didn’t even realize I could lose you...”

“You haven’t had a drink since my accident?”

“No. And I’ve been in therapy. A couple of months later, I called Leia, trying to get ahold of you and she told me that wasn’t a good idea, so I’ve been waiting... and now you’re here and I...” he reached up to wipe a tear from his eye, Poe hadn’t seen him cry since the funeral. “I’m just so sorry Poe, I really am... I wasn’t your dad, not when you needed me to be and nothing I can ever say can ever make up for that...”

“No...”

You turned to Poe as he wiped a tear from his eye, but he wouldn’t meet your gaze.

“No it won’t...”

You squeezed his hand but he just pulled it away and got back to his feet, his head moving a mile a minute as thoughts poured in and out faster than he could really process. Kes was back on his feet in an instant and you were too, holding close by his side but he just shook his head.

“Poe...” you tried hesitantly, but he just rubbed over his face.

“I just need a minute... I’m sorry.”

“Poe—“ you reached out for him but he leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek and stormed out of the room, his boots trudging up the stairs all you could hear as he left your line of sight.

Kes let out a muffled sob into his hand as he watched him leave and as you turned back you couldn’t help but sigh as he wipes each tear away.

“I didn’t mean to—“ he choked out but you just shook your head.

“He just needs a minute...” you held up your hands carefully, “his room is...?”

“Up the stairs, first door on the right.”

As you wiped a tear of your own from your eyes, you followed the path Poe had taken, listening to the choking sobs from the room you left but finding a room of silence as you got to the door at the top of the stairs.

“Poe...”

tags: @imaginecrushes @somuchrandomshxt @itsamedeemoney @blushingwueen @grincheveryday @tommy-holland @shakespeareanwannabe @mad-hatters-teapot @mandoren (open)

[bemey]

[found this in my drafts] Skwisgaar, Toki, and Murderface in Tamriel

combining my hyperfixations let's gooooooooooooooooo

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

it's very obvious that as a Swede, his race in a fantasy universe would be that fantasy universe's version of our world's ye olde Scandinavians (aka, he'd be a Nord, duh) BUT i like to think if you gave him a pair of fake elf ears matching his skintone, he'd pass as just a really pale Altmer

he's beautiful, tall, slender, arrogant and talented, im sure he'd fit right in with either group, maybe even less so with Nords since Nord society values brute strength and high tolerance for alcohol, of which Skwisgaar has neither (I know he beat up that one guy with his guitar once BUT!!! he's absolutely the least violent fifth of Dethklok)

as a non-metal-musician in Tamriel im sure he'd have mastered a magic school instead of electric guitar, but i can't really figure out *which* school, *maybe* enchanting, *maybe* mysticism, but if i had to pick i'd settle on one of the schools governed by Willpower (alteration, destruction and restoration) because, let's be real, he's more dedicated (to his life passion) than he is intelligent >_>;;

the thing is, i'd make an argument that epic guitar solos heal people (not physically), so that'd be restoration, BUT if he was in a party of sorts I can't really imagine him as just a healer on the sidelines (that's Toki and Mface's thing hehehe), he needs something, hm...... Flashier. like fireball spells, but then again he's not really violent on the show and doesnt get into many fights (unlike SOMMMEEE people), so i'd say both Destruction and Restoration

BUT there's also Illusion magic, with which you seduce, make yourself shiny, paralyse, calm people etc and i cant think of a better analogy for guitar playing that stuns you and puts you into a trance because it's just so good

(also FYI nord males get a penalty in willpower and personality but i suppose he overcomes that, because i have trouble imagining him not heavily using skills governed by those stats)

and for the class- im forcing myself to pick from the set of 21 standard classes and looking at (this page) for reference because if i took custom classes into account it'd really complicate things-

an obvious answer'd be Bard, which makes sense because, you know, being popular and attractive, but in a gameplay sense it's more stealth and less magic (also if we picked bard just because he's a musician in the MTL universe, all other DK members would be bards too and that's pretty lame)

looking at the page i linked, the ''Healer'' class fits the bill, governing personality, willpower, destruction, restoration, speechcraft, and illusion. i wont lie, it doesnt sound the coolest (compare to a class desc like Nightblade, now that shit's awesome), but it makes the most sense to me

TL;DR nord by blood BUT looks and acts like a high elf, class: healer

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Toki Wartooth a nord as well but! i've met plenty of nord dudes in ES games who are really nice to me but kind of not too smart (think Thrud in Godsreach in Mornhould the city that came with Tribunal the DLC for TES3 Morrowind), and im not saying Toki isn't smart (he's educated enough, has geeky interests, knows a thing or two about model-plane building, i think he might be one of the smarter DK members actually) but a nearly-fatal flaw is his naivety which would unfortunately translate into a low intelligence or maybe personality stat in a TES game

when you have a low personality stat, NPCs dont like you as much, and (in Morrowind) whatever options you pick while Persuading an NPC are less effective, even taunt and intimidate)

but i wanna argue in the case of Toki in Tamriel, that low personality stat wouldn't come in the form of being an intimidating douchebag, because we all know Toki's really, really nice, and he has his moments of being a jerk on the show, but he's mostly kind and polite, especially to strangers, and *definitely* holds the title of ''Dethklok member most likely to agree to an autograph and selfie with a fan after a concert and then give them a friendly hug''

it's difficult for me to decide which attributes he'd govern, and a lowered luck isn't possible at character creation, but i'd lower it if possible

high strength, yes, i can imagine Toki with either a blunt or blade

high willpower, competent with restoration and destruction like Skwisgaar, but not as dedicated to the mastery, duh

high endurance- knowing the shit he's been through, might be pretty high

(''cheats death'' and ''unpredictable'' are both keywords i'd describe Toki by)

i have my eyes on either Crusader or Spellsword BUT I thought the class description for Scout fit Toki just perfect and I even made a little joke about it to my friend once

TL;DR nord spellsword or crusader, but i'd pick spellsword if i was forced to choose

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William Murderface

ive been so exicted to get to this one because, hear me out- khaijit pilgrim

Murderface's spirit animal is a dang tiger, man, and now it's true Murderface isn't very athletic or agile like a khaijit BUT listen, in Oblivion Khaijit get a daily power that let's them intimidate opponents because they're like, big cats, literally, like a tiger or lion and wouldn't you run if you saw one IRL? AND Murderface isnt very popular with fans, which I'd imagine would translate into low personality maybe, but Mface is dare i say pretty dang skilled at making people hate him or hate others or get into fights, aka using a high personality stat for bad (taunt/intimidate) not good (admire), which is why I instantly thought he'd be a Pilgrim (''They profit in life by bartering in the market, or by persuading the weak-minded.'')

look me in the eye and tell me lockpicking, sneaking and punching people arent things Murderface would love to do, also scamming merchants and stabbing people, and khaijit conveniently get a small bonus in Blade and you know who loves knives? M u r d e r f a c e

inappropiately urinating in places? cat. face like an inbred white tiger? cat. sneaky jerk? cat. also i just really want him to be a catboy, man

i did think of him as an Orc too because of the whole martial culture and being a race that was cursed with 'ugliness' (not always true, some orcs are pretty hot), *but* the martial culture orcs have isnt really the barfight kind nords or dunmer have, it's more organised and honourable is it not? they take fighting seriously

would you say Murderface'd rather practice like blunt weaponry all night and day, then go to war and die for his clan, *or* would he sneak in a tavern, steal shit, insult someone, then get into a bar fight? that's what i thought !!!!

fuckin obviously you cant appoint the latter to khaijit because that'd be racist and im not a huge fan of discrimination against beastfolk myself, an orc could be a thief too, but have a look at this:

(for orcs), and the minuses in intelligence is mostly what makes me think Murderface wouldnt be an orc because he's pretty smart

smart as in street-smart and smart with people, specifically at what makes people mad or do ugly things, and thats something I have to hand to Willy, he's cunning even if not always sucessful in that endeavor because of his bad luck and unattractiveness, but in terms of raw people-skills he's not so bad

and for his class- I know i said pilgrim earlier but i wanna consider some alternatives: rogue or thief

''a tongue as sharp as a blade'', and ''profits from the losses of others''? both Murderfacecore, but I might wanna stick with Pilgrim just because they're history nerds

TL;DR Khaijit pilgrim

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(this was an old wip i found in my drafts so i havent written Pickles's or Nathan's parts yet >_> sorry, i do have the ideas ready in my head though) (also feel free to share your opinions)

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age ��� but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[strykingback]

Ok... Gotta say my Farewell to Vol 8. So If you dont like  what Im about to say best click off now or ignore it.

Ok so you decided to click on it,  Alrighty brace yourself 

This entire Arc was just fucking horrendous. No joke, this entire arc was just garbage entirely, no joke. The way how they made Ironwood into a cartoon villain making him into some albeist joke of people who are diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, Actual Amputees’, etc. This was meant to be A FUCKING WAR ARC!!!

Which means I expected these few things from this Arc even though I was not watching it.

- Plenty of Character Deaths ranging from Main, Secondary, and Tertiary Characters.

- Stakes at An All New High. 

- Characters being forced to make tough decisions or risks that fail or pay off.

- Uneasy Alliances being forged.

- Tensions between Team RWBY, Ironwoods Group, and Salems. 

-SALEM TEARING ATLAS AND MANTLE A NEW ONE. 

- THE VILLIANS ACTUALLY FUCKING WIN THIS VOLUME. 

Instead We Got: 

-Ruby’s Group BEING INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE LIKE IN VOLUME 5 BARELY DOING FUCK ALL!!!

- Ironwood being “villainized” even further instead of turning him into a morally-grey villain. 

- Team RWBY “winning” through plot armor and bad writing like the Mary Sues they are. 

- Bumbleby Ship-Baiting... AGAIN. (Seriously. . . fuck off) (No hate to anyone who ships BB but at this point it was seriously getting annoying and tiring)

- Salem Just Getting Merked... NOT ONCE FOLKS. BUT TWICE!!!

- The Hound Getting Merked.....

Seriously no joke, this was such a bullshit, deadbeat volume. No joke it makes me so frustrated to see that this entire Volume was fucked up to no end. Yangs and Rubys argument did not feel like an actual fucking argument. 

What I expect from an argument was four things.

- Calling them Out On Their Actions. 

- Person A and B Debating About their Actions/Decisions which said argument intensifies. 

- Person A or B Starts a fight after saying something that pisses one of them off

-  Fight Between A and B, Totally Optional to have a bystander such as C or D end the Fight. 

Instead we get....a simple Argument that barely intensifies and only has Yang calling Ruby out on her abilities being a leader of a team. We should have Ruby also calling out Yang for sharing the information to Robyn and her “Happy Huntresses.” Which should’ve escalated to the point where Ruby says.  “Well that Gung-Ho Attitude is what caused you to lose your Arm!!” 

or Yang saying: 

“Well If you didn’t decide to...Oh I dont know have our faces pasted on EVERY VIRTUAL BOARD IN ATLAS FOR YOUR SHIT DECISIONS!” 

Not to mention to have Blake ,Weiss, and the Rest of ORNJ just look in awe or shock.... at seeing them argue to the point where they start fighting SERIOUSLY THATS WHAT A FUCKING ARGUMENT IS MEANT TO FEEL LIKE IN A WAR ARC!!!!

Moving on from that... anyways Cinders Past was just so so so SO LAZY.....

No joke her past was so boring it was to the point where I found it just uninteresting at all. Yet that brings up a good point hat I said once and I will say again. “How Come the FNDM praises Women that get beaten and show love to them rather than Men who also get abused like Adam whose EYE WAS BRANDED and MERCURY WHOSE LEGS WERE BROKEN BY THE FEMUR NO LESS.”

No joke for her it was just... a shock collar and she was berated verbally.....You know this actually makes Ellie from Last of Us Part 2 Look Better than Cinders. (Yeah I went there!)

Like if you want to do Twisted Cinderella with some RWBY Vibes.... heres how you do it. 

- Have Cinder be in Awe at the Sight of a Huntsman or Huntress fighting which inspires her to be a Huntress when Reeves finally tells her she can be one. 

- Show that Reeves does care about her and when he falls ill and dies Cinder is berated even more by the twins and the proprietor where she was enslaved. 

- What Finally causes her to snap and kill everyone was when she finds out her “sisters” burned her Academy Approval letter on their mothers order causing her to kill and murder which she is later on arrested and then bailed out by Watts who leads her to Salem. 

Seriously DO IT FUCKING RIGHT ESPECIALLY  WHEN IT COMES TO CINDER WHOSE PAST WAS IN SHADOWS FOR 8 WHOLE FUCKING YEARS.

8 YEARS AND YOU DROP IT LIKE A RAW PIECE LAMB CHOP!!!

Finally SALEM. Oh God how did they fuck up with Salem?! I will admit there was some moments that spooked me. However it was not enough to make me feel nervous for the characters as a whole. 

Like for example I expected her to wipe the floor with Atlas’ forces and just seriously showing destruction and chaos arriving. Instead last season it looked like she was JUST APPROACHING THE CITY. 

Which would have been a “Race Against The Clock/War” Volume since Salem would have begun her destruction of Atlas and even forcing her way into Atlas.... and then suddenly Hazel performs a Heel-Face-Turn that suddenly screams BS because seriously he should’ve had some sort of a better redemption that felt built up, then she gets  BURNED THEN NUKED BY OZPINS MAGICAL CANE OF SUPERPOWERED BULLSHIT. Which Held enough magic to unleash it....which could have been used during the BATTLE OF BEACON. However, I wont complain about it why?

Cause, I think the major reason is because If he were to use it in there he would be revealing Beacon’s Relic Vault as well to Cinder which she can use to open it and take the Relic of Choice. Which I believe was a pragmatic choice because you also have to think of the people who are still trying to escape or evacuating at the moment. 

Now the ultimate disrespectful thing the CRWBY did for their “Design a Grimm” contest was the Sulfur Fish. 

THIS DESIGN WAS SICK, AND THE ABILITIES WAS JUST JAW DROPPINGLY COOL!

However what does CRWBY do instead of giving a Full Scene where we see its Forms or attacking other soldiers/people. 

It gets... *Drumroll*

A Cameo sequence...thats it. A Cameo....Wow CRWBY you are shit. Just absolutely shit at writing and even giving the winner of the Design-A-Grimm Contest Winner an actual shot...while you overwork your animators giving Anxiety Disorders or PTSD. Great Show. 

 TL;DR: RWBY Volume 8 was one of the most boring, shittiest, and a snoozefest of a volume with such bad writing that it makes even watching The Last of Us Part II look good! 

If you are planning on dropping RWBY let me offer you an Alternative. 

Say hello to Meta Runner! A series that I find to be a favorite of mine and one that is actually better than RWBY’s garbage ass bullshit writing. 

To give you a brief synopsis, This series follows Tari a girl who wakes up in Silica City without any memory of what has happened except some brief flashbacks. To which TasCorp the antagonistic corporation seeks to use her for entertainment, while there is a mystery element about a famous gamer gone missing... and its up to Tari and the help of a Resistance force to find out this mystery. 

This series is done by Glitch Studios which many do know them as...drumroll please!  *drumroll*

The Youtubers SMG4! Who is well known for doing GMOD Shitposts! 

Its actually quite relieving to see a series that these two brothers actually want to share with us! They dont want to do it for money or for anything just for the sake of a good story! 

AND THATS WHAT I LIKE!

Oh did I forget to mention that Meta Runner is backed by:  Epic Games

Crunchyroll 

AMD Lastly.... and hold onto your butts...

THE AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT!!!

You know you hit it big WHEN THE GOVERNMENT BACKS YOUR SERIES!!! Come On you cant help but smile at that! So far the Third Season is being worked on at the moment but no release date at the moment so it could be sometime this year or next year. 

So if you have any plans on watching that I highly recommend giving it a watch. Anyways 

Fuck RWBY Volume 8. Fuck the Canon. Fuck Everything about RWBY!

[pantheon-god-of-war]

Pantheon is grabage. Hes a boring ass one dimensional warrior minion. Every other aspect is interesting and has depth. Pantheon always has been a bland boring stain in league lore. The whole war god thing was a failed attempt to redeem a shit stain of a character. I will never understand why you torture yourself with such a boring ass character. Just delete your blog and let this champion die, focus on champs that have depth and actually benefit from your writing and art. Stop wasting your time.

Any other day I would have just deleted your “garbage” opinion and been done with it. But my weekends been shit same as my monday and I’ve been on edge ever since so if you were trying to piss me the fuck off, then congratulations you did it. 

Firstly, I live under the impression that you should keep your mouth shut instead of insulting someone. But here we are. 

Secondly. Do youseriously think I  did not notice dumbass? I loved Pantheon ever since he was released, do you honestly think I do not know of his short comings? His lack of lore, the disconnection between his story and all 7 voice lines? How dumb do you take me for? I know. I know it all and I sure as hell don’t need to be reminded by some cowardly asshole. 

Has it ever occurred to you that I redesigned Pantheon from the ground up? That I gave him a backstory, motivations, traits, desires and skills. I reconstructed his whole being from the ground up, brick by brick. Because I love the potential he has, what he could be. I was building him up long before the Targon update. I was building him up long before you ever hit that stupid follow button. The whole reason for a rp blog is to give a character you care about your time and investment to build them up more or explore certain areas lore does not touch up on. 

Old Pantheon was a spartan self insert, current Pantheon is a war zombie and the coming Pantheon is likely going to be garbage as well. But all you fuckers that knock Pantheon for being a garbage champion think his baker joke is funny and defend that atrocious skin as his best one. I am sick and tired of having to hear it from every one. The lore people who point out his rock like personality, the “friends” I play with who kindly let me know that he is a garbage champion game play wise and you sweaty tumbler fucks who hide behind anon asks to shove your opinions on other people because no one pays attention to you irl. I always swallow it and tank it and endure, nine fucking years I get ridiculed for liking him, no matter who it is, there is always a side jab or some stupid idiot who thinks the baker joke is actually funny. 

Honestly I’ve been playing with the idea to nuke the whole blog if the Pantheon rework turns out garbage as I expect. But I won’t give you the satisfaction. I’ll write him as I see fit and honestly if you have a problem with it you’ll just have to swallow it because I’ll always find a way to make him work. If you don’t like Pantheon thats fine, unfollow me what are you doing following a Pantheon blog if you dislike him in the first place, get lost, play in traffic, do something. But leave me alone with your stupid opinion no one asked for. In your own words, stop wasting my time. 

[owowatsdiss]

Gays in Space

In light of recent troubles you may be asking yourself, "What the hell, can't I have one good thing?"

Well as a matter of fact,

you can.

Welcome to gays in space, a masterpost

~

Perhaps japan has stolen your heart and dyed your hair when you were thirteen, if so maybe Sailor Moon is right for you

I'll admit this probably isn't your introduction to sailor moon but you also didnt realize how incredibly gay it actually is.

Thats because for this you're going to have to be exceptionally careful about where you watch it.

The sailor moon on your tv as a kid had all the gay erased and told you they were cousins. With the right kind of japanese dub thats faithful to the original you get playful flirty quips and uncensored lesbian romance.

~

Perhaps you like to locally source your entertainment and only the freshest, indieist, content can brew your morning cup of joe, if so maybe what you need is On a Sunbeam

Words cannot describe how gay this is. Its only job is to be a lesbian romance in space and it is fucking acing it. This comic is beautiful and more importantly should get you that fix of positive gay space content you crave.

~

We've all gotten a plastic lightsaber as a child and subsequently broken it over the side of a tree, or at least I think we all have, lets not debate it too hard, point being what you need is some gays in Star Wars

~

Star Wars: Aftermath

Welcome to your new favorite book trilogy. Forget lord of the rings, hunger games is over, and for the love of fuck, burn those copies of fifty shades because I've got something better.

Thats right our man Sinjir is one of the main characters of this book and taking us on a gay journey through space while a bunch of assholes lose their shit about it.

Admittedly it takes until about book two to get to the level of gay you crave. But with the introduction of Conder we've got full on gay romance, gay tension, gay pinning, in star wars.

Now this is the first thing I've pointed you towards that isn't free, here's how youre gonna make it cheaper.

Check your local library. Maybe it's free for you. Who knows. Sit in barnes and noble and read it in it's entirety. What are they gonna do kick you out?(maybe)

If all else fails check your email and see if google play sent you five bucks off a book, which they do sometimes.(use the email search bar)

~

Another gay star wars book, sortof, From a Certain Point of View

From a Certain Point of View is a collection of 40 starwars related short storys and we care about exactly one of them.

MSE-6 and Men by Glen Weldon is a short story about a mouse droid capturing the love affair of a stormtrooper and an imperial officer.

It's cute, it's short, and near as I can tell it's the only star wars story that's sole focus is gay romance.

Now I probably wouldn't buy the whole book, for this one you've seriously just gotta head into a book store and read the part you're interested in.(not to say the book isn't good but alas the other 39 aren't gay related)

~

The Kotor series

A series of videogames taking place in the extended universe it's got space combat, space romance, and writing so sharp it could kill a man.

Kotor is a game series riddled with gay romance, but for this one you'll have to look up whichever one you're interested in and see what your gay romance options are. There are sooooo many choices. I actually can't list them all. Seriously look them up. In a world where you get maybe one token character on the side, here you'll have more gays then you can romance.

~

Perhaps you hate Star Wars, perhaps you're bummed out that the only videogames options mentioned involved my favorite laser space jesus, worry not because Mass Effect 3 is what you need

I've got only one thing I need to say about Mass Effect 3. Gay sex controversy. That is a real honest to god article. Shit my life is a gay sex controversy. Fucking iconic.

For this one yet again not really free.(for kotor games it depends.) But its also kind of an old game. So you'll find a used copy or maybe even pirate it.

~

Well you knew it was coming. Honestly shocked I managed to hold it back this long. So with all the casualness someone can recommend a webcomic longer than war and peace, let me tell you about Homestuck

It's beautiful guys. It's just literary perfection. I love everything about it. It's hilarious. It definitely understands life better than I do. The characters bounce off eachother and you can actually see the way they make a dent in eachothers live. The interests they have they actually geniunely have those interests. I'm almost positive hussie actually has all of the hobbies he's given his characters. It's just shockingly well written. And I recommend it more than anything else on this list.

Not to mention it's gay. It's so gay. Every grey character in the picture above is a gay space alien. And thats just the people I can show you.(tumblr says im at my photo limit)

It's literally a race of pansexual polyamorous space aliens. Seriously find me something gayer than that. You can't.

~

Honorable mention Neon Genesis Evangelion

Gay for only the briefest briefest sliver of a second. In a series this interesting it warrants perhaps a moment of your consideration.

~

Well I'll admit this is sortof for the voltron fandom. They definitely seem to be having a rough time of it. And recommending steven universe a million times doesn't really do them justice.(but if you haven't gotten a steven universe recommend yet it is also well worth your time) And if anyone knows of any others I'm very interested and I'll add them to this list.

[cheollies]

Fanboy!Seungcheol (Pt.2)

requested by anon: fanboy au where he and his bias get together

seungcheol was dead tired

his eyes were ready to close and he continued to fight the urge as he walked down to the convenience store at three in the morning

you see he had arrived home early that afternoon after attending one of your schedules to take pictures and update his blog

and well he spent hours, with occasional breaks to eat, use the bathroom and cry over you, he spent hours going through all his photos of you, choosing the best ones and doing minimal editing while adding his trademark on there

and well it was three in the morning and he still had a few more picture to go through so he decided,

he could drink five cans of coffee, eat junk food, and pull an all nighter because you also had filming in the morning

so

there he is, standing with his eyes slowly opening and closing as he tiredly holds his hand out to the coffee cans

and he hears it, the small jingle of the store and because he's seriously tall and can overlook the whole shelves

seungcheol quickly glances, and he sees this relatively smaller girl (height wise), hair straightened, covered with a black hat and a dark mask covering the majority of their face

but to seungcheol, something feels off, like he keep glancing because ‘why does she look kind of familiar���

and he's secretly following your figure move about, you're picking various snacks that were just piling up way too much and suddenly you're nearing him

seungcheol glances at you as you stand next to him and you glance at him and its kind of a glancing war since in both of your minds you two are like ‘soo familiar’

and it happens, at the same time,

“oh my god you're y/n”

“you're the fan! seungcheol? right?”

the worker is giving you two weird looks but you guys are giggling in front of the coffee

and there's this serene feeling between you two

because its three in the morning, both of you are dead tired and the whole fan-idol titles just disperse in the small convenience store and it feels like acquaintances running into each other randomly

you have five bags in your hand, all full of snacks and drinks that you were being forced to get by your members after losing a game

and seungcheol, the gentleman that he is, offers repeatedly to help carry them and you're kind of ‘idk how do I know if you're a crazy fan or not’

so seungcheol politely backs off, the first time

and the second time he runs into you, he carries them a quarter of the way to your studio

and what may have been just five minutes felt like heaven as he heard your voice, aimlessly talking about your members and their antics

and by the fifth time he runs into you, he's watching you enter your building, eyes wide awake at four in the morning, lips curling up as you wave cutely for him to go home and get some rest

he doesn't tell the guys, he feels as though those tiny moments in the store, the fifteen minute walk back to your studio, those are moments most precious to him, those are moments meant for just you and him

he knew he was in love

and it was a different feeling from when he watched you from afar

nooo, this was an entirely new feeling

because when you were on screen, he loved your loud voice, screaming and squealing at the other members, he loved watching you jump around excitedly and play games competitively

but when he talked with you or walked silently with you, it was the comfort of the air he loved

he loved your calm voice that spoke slightly slurred due to being tired, he loved the bags under your eyes that you once complained about, he loved having to walk a little slower sometimes because your tired body caused yourself to slow at night

he loved the off camera you

your members could sense something was different

because you didn't groan when hearing the words ‘who wants to buy snack’ instead you'd instantly shoot up, voluntarily leaving to purchase the goods

jokes began flying about every time you returned

‘ooohhh did you go see your boyfriend’

‘is he handsome? oh!! is it someone we know?’

the girls would giggle in the corner as you dumped the snacks in front of them

it was seungcheol who weakly asked you out

sitting crossed legged next to each other outside of the convenience store, ice cream in both of your hands as the store lights outside flickered

‘i like you, a lot. and im not saying this because I'm your fan. I'm saying this because, the highlight of my day is coming here at whatever time in the morning to sit and eat ice cream’ seungcheol laughs, he feels the air thicken as you continue to stare forward ‘you don't feel the same way, then its totally fine. I get it. you're a celebrity.’

you look at him ‘and what are you then’

seungcheol smiles, a tired toothy grin on his face ‘a fool who only looks at you’

and under the mask you blush, a deep red as you continue to eat your ice cream 

‘Lets go before your members get worried’

seungcheol carries all the bags, and while he effortlessly lifts them as you two walk, he feels it, fingers sliding under the handle of the bag, slowly connecting themselves with his, your head falling on his shoulder

‘me too. I like you too’

and very slowly, you two develop a relationship that's built around midnight ice cream and lazily lying on each other under the flickering store light

on days you're really tired, when you're resting on his shoulder, snoozing silently, he wraps an arm around you, pulling your hat a little further over your eyes while he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head

its a very secret relationship

the only person that knows is the very old man that runs the store overnight and he's so nice and polite that sometimes he lets you two use the back room when its raining

at fan signs (because seungcheol says he's gotta support his girl) you two are always subtle but sweet, its a short time where seungcheol can say what he wants lovingly and you get to say what you want back too

there's also hand holding that you two will do there and little sneaky smiles and winks along the way

and even at events, when you see him in the crowd of people, with his camera held up to his eye, you wink purposely at his camera and all he can do is grin

the boys in the group chat have no idea

because it seems all normal, like seungcheol still attends your fan signs and events, he still updates his blog, he still screams about you and how much he loves you

but it changes one day

jeonghan: SEUNGCHEOL HAS A GIRLFRIEND I SAW THEM

everyone: whhaat

jeonghan: THEY WERE HOLDING HANDS AND HE WAS HUGGING HER AND IT WAS ALL LOVEY DOVEY AND CUTE

seungcheol: pls stop

Soonyoung: does this mean you're dumping y/n

seungcheol: NO NEVER

and for a while its chaotic because well, to them, a girlfriend means no more fanboying and seungcheol has to insist that wasnt going to happen (obviously cause he's dating you)

two and a half years

he loved you every day for two and a half years

he watched your popularity grow, he watched you dance and sing with other men, he watched as you were tangled into romance scandals with other idols

but at the end of the day, he knew you would be with him, snuggled into the side of chest with your hair poking his skin, with your hand grabbing tightly at his shirt 

and on a regular night, when you were tucked in between seungcheols legs, your back pressed against his chest as he tried to teach you to play the game

your phone rang loudly and you groan, picking it up with a cheery tone

and seungcheol hears you fall silent, very very silent, hes turned his expression towards you and he sees the horror on your face

and thats when his phone blows up

his phone dings from thousands of messages and when he checks, he sees pictures on the group chat, more specifically pictures of you and seungcheol sitting perfectly in front of the familiar store

‘its gonna be okay’ seungcheol reassures, he's pulling you close, a hand pressed against your neck for comfort and a hand rubbing circles. hes burying his nose in your hair, kissing the top of your head ‘we'll think of something. like I can just be a close relative’

you laugh and seungcheol smiles.

‘its time. I want to show off my handsome boyfriend to the whole world’

and the reactions are mixed, on one hand people are extremely happy for you and seungcheol, on the other hand, some fans have left completely

but seungcheol holds you tight, his breath steadily on your neck as he forces the phone out of your hand and he whispers ‘im your number one fan, who cares about those people’

and well, for Seungcheol, it took him a while to be able to calm the boys. and with all the screaming and screeching and phone calls of happy tears, Seungcheol was able to settle them down and explain that your relationship with Seungcheol was private

but you thought otherwise, you excitedly wanted to meet these boys that you had to stay hidden from for three years

And when you meet them, one by one, all you can do is smile as they screech in your ear, and when the excitement of the boys ran out, they treated you like family, like you were already one of the group, one of their own and it couldn’t have made you happier

Seungcheol watches you pinch the cheek of the small boy Chan, cooing at his baby like features, and Seungcheol just knows, he knows he wants to spend his entire life with you, whether if the public accepted or not, all he cared about was you

[lezzzbraaahhhhssss-blog]

(PSA: all lesbians/lesbros/couples/straight people, shit IDC.) seriously, just read my story... i hope it can at least help one couple if not more... i hope it can help that one person who is stuck in the idk realize the loss of their actions and feel the pain that i feel.... bc its real. pops was right, dont give up on love, dont give up on her, even when youre trying to find yourself... she already sees your beauty and who you are... stick by her bc your life will be nothing shy of amazing with a girl like that by your side.

I’ve been going through a really shitty relationship break up for a few months now... My dad sat me down the other day and told me a little something about them.... He said, baby girl, never give up on love no matter how hard it seems to be or how much it hurts.... especially in a relationship. if you find a good woman, treat her right, love her at her highs and at her lows, always tell her she is loved no matter what the circumstances are.... you see, I am the reason for that shitty break up because i had an amazing girl, a truly amazing girl, but i got so consumed by the thought of me and what i needed that i fell through and seriously neglected her. she was always faithful, always so damn supportive of me, and even when i was hard to love she still loved me. i was so selfish and didnt realize it until she was gone... i didnt realize that what i had was a one in a lifetime thing because no one can compare to her, i fucked up. its hard to find a girl who genuine, even if shes been through hell and back herself, shes still just so loving and is reasonable beyond measure. she was always willing to give a little more to our relationship when i felt i couldnt give a lot, she was always there for me... i lost my best damn friend and the love of my life because i forgot that even by putting myself first from time to time (which isnt a bad thing) that i had this amazing, beautiful woman who stood behind me and supported me 250% all the time no matter what. she was my confidant, my best friend, the person who was always there to encourage me and tell me that some of the shit i went through and the way i felt about it was justified and why because she always listened to me... even if i talked for hours on end about the most stupidest shit, she was always attentive and always had feedback. I got caught up in a whole battle between loving her too much and just being me but at the end i realised that i could be me and love her even more because she was willing to do the same for me. she treated me like her equal, she wanted us to work so badly and i just shut her out and basically told her to fuck off... words and actions i will never be able to take back... hurt that i caused her that she would never want to be with me again for... even though i thought i was doing what was best for me by finding myself.... i really lost the one thing that truly mattered the most to me, my best friend, my rock, the girl of my dreams in the process. My dad knew about all of this because i had to talk to someone because i knew that id really fucked up... he told me that love is as simple as you make and if you make it complicated and you dont communicate then youre going to fail every single time. He said that it wasnt a bad thing that iwas trying to find who i was, because everyone deserves that time to do so but knowing what i had behind me was a woman that would have compromised and done anything to make us work, was my ultimate sacrifice and my biggest regret. He loved my ex like she was his own and becuase she was always so so so very good to me. maybe in my youth and obvious immaturity i didnt realize that i had everything i could have ever wanted sitting in the living room with us that night we watched that football game. Even though she didnt really watch it and wasnt prone to be too interested in it she still sat there and was in the moment with me and my pops. that, thats a rare thing to find in someone, in a companion, in a lover, in a best friend... someone who listens, someone who doesnt mind your passions and supports them, someone who loves you for you and unconditionally, someone who will go above and beyond to make things work... a girl that is so rare that even her exes text you and tell you hey you fucked up now you get to learn the hard way like we did. a girl who is always complimented on the beautiful person she truly is on the inside and who is loved by the people, family and friends who truly know how beautiful her heart and soul is..... i took advantage of that and i lost it and i feel so empty now.... so i guess what im trying to say is, if any of you are going through that little twenties crisis where you dont know what you want, who you are as a person, or really what you want to do with life.... if you have that special someone who is there constantly supporting you, willlin to compromise with you and give you what you wnat and need, someone who just truly loves you for you with all of themselves and is willing to make what ever sacrifices neccesary at that time in your life to keep the relationship afloat... dont be a douche bag like me, dont shut that girl out, dont isolate the one good thing that you had but was too selfish or immature to see... even if it was just you trying to figure out who you were, dont push the person that has been there supporting you through everything else away.... guys shes a keeper, especially when she is willing to make sacrifices and still love you just the same and unconditionally when you arent being so easy to love.... i regret my actions, i regret treating her that way and pushing her away because now the one thing that made me happy is making someone else happy and im just sitting here watching it happen, knowing i blew it. knowing that she deserved more from me and that i should have given it to her and been right there in the trenches of our relationship with her and not letting her fight a war, that was my war on her own, even though she was there trying to give me aid, comfort, security, confidence, unwavering support and so ridiculously willing to make the sacrifies that neeeded to be made for the long run in our relationship because she saw the beauty in it, in me, in us and she believed in me and i let her down... dont be that idiot, dont be that selfish asshole, dont push the people that love you the most away even while trying to find yourself, especially if they are right there with you taking punches... she was the best thing that has ever happened to me and i lost it and i know that no one will ever compare to her... even though people are going to tell me not to compare someone to her, i subliminally am because i know what i could have had with her in the long run now, because i realise just how happy she made me now, because it took her walking away and letting me go to realise that i really fucked up. please, if youre going through it or something similar to what i had to learn the hard way about... talk to her, find a common ground at least until you know that you are who you are, dont let the fear of the unknown keep you from the best years of spending them with the absolute love of your life.... reach out to her, love her, dont be afraid to love her because if shes anything like my girl was, she loves you so much even now, even when you are being difficult, even when you dont know and youre unsure, even when you might be scared that youre sacrificing your own life and losing who you are in the process of loving them.... youre not, especially if they are there and supportive and willing to love you nontheless if not more because they see what youre going through and they see what you can become and they see the beauty in what kind of relationship you will still have together. relationships are never easy, youre always going to have to work at them, thats a fact and something else pops told me. if shes your best friend, you love her, you cant think of any other way to address her other than with a good morning i hope you slept well or an i love you or thats all youre thinking about while youre going through that period of time.... then shes the one for you, especially if she is still there just being her. being ready to take on what ever challenges you feel you may face, being ready to love you innately, being ready to compromise even on the shittiest days ever, talk to her.... dont fucking shut her out.... youre not just hurting yourself but youre destroying her. dont be a me and watch her go through life with someone else wishing and knowing that it could have been you. thats real, thats coming from the heart of an asshole who hurt the one person that would have done absolutely anything for her in this world. if anything learn from my mistake. dont let your head and your heart fight a battle, just love her and let her support you, talk to her and at least see what happens. dont give her the silent treatment when she doesnt deserve it. shes tellign you shes there for you, be there for her and allow her to do her part in the relationship, you know the part i mentioned earlier, where she listens and replies. the part where she is still supportive even when you are beign difficult or hard to love. dont be a dick, guys!!! sweet hearted people like that deserve to be treated gently, they deserve your love, they deserve to be treated like the blessings they are in their own way. if shes close to your heart and shes always on your mind and she is someone you always want to text, call, facetime, whatever... give that girl the time of damn day, give that girl what she deserves because you all know good and god damn well that if she is that wonderful to you, she would never do that to you. dont be a me, man, dont let your moment or time right now that youre trying to figure out push the one blessing and best thing that has ever come in to your life away. bc that soft spot you have for them in your heart is goign to hurt like fucking hell when they do walk away because they know their worth and they know that what they have to offer someone else is out there looking for and wanting. im serious guys, it sucks, being on the sideleines watching someone else in the place that you used to be in because you abandoned that love, fucking sucks and it hurts like a mother fucker. TREAT YOUR LOVE RIGHT, TREAT YOUR GIRL RIGHT, BE THE PERSON SHE SEES IN YOU FOR HER EVEN WHEN YOURE TRYIGN TO FIND THAT PERSON THAT SHE ALREADY SEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mwg-us]

Free MiniWarGaming Vault Trial - MiniWarGaming

Here's just a few reasons why you should try the MiniWarGaming Vault for FREE Crush your opponents... In the MiniWarGaming Vault you'll have access to more battle reports, as well as the post game shows with in-depth tactical analysis of the games (well, except for Dave's games, but we all love Dave). Watch more of your favourite games: Try out the Vault for free and get more battle reports... "I'm a Vault member because it's amazing. It's amazing because of the extra content you get. It's amazing because it helps support MWG, and help them keep producing content. It's amazing how much MWG is doing for the community. As someone that was brought into 40k mostly because of MWG videos, this is a great way for me to give back for all the great times I've had due to them peaking my interest long ago."Brian (NubimusPrime) from Pittsburgh, PA Wow your friends with your painting skills... (Silver Members Only) With our daily painting tips and tutorials you will finally be able to hone your painting skills, whether you are a brand new painter, or a seasoned one. Try out the Vault for free and get more painting tutorials... "You should definitely buy the Vault membership. I was two sided about it at one point thinking are all those other videos worth it? The answer is yes!! Even if you get the Bronze. $3 a month is enough to spare for all the amazing things that you get. Buy it!! Buy it now!!"Kaptin Obvious from UK Support MiniWarGaming... We might not have the prettiest of faces, but we love making videos, and that ain't free. We've got to pay our video creators, our rent, our order-monkey Justin to buy all his Chinese food, and for all those other "fun" bills. Our Vault members make this possible. Try out the Vault for free and help us make even more videos... "Although I am not the actual Prime Minister, I still declare that the MiniWarGaming Vault is one of the best values for the money. MiniWarGaming provides entertaining, informative and varied content for many of the most active games to date. With more vault members they can expand to more systems and bring more content!"Stephen Wallace Harper from Hastings, MN USA Get over $800 of DVDs / Blu-Rays Over the years we have amassed quite the collection of painting and terrain DVDs, and you get instant access to all of them (via streaming video and HD Digital Downloads). Try out the Vault for free and get all our DVDs and Blu-Rays... Even more testimonials from real Vault members... "Vault is full of awesome content that a warhammer fan would love to watch. Great painting tutorials by Kris too! He is one of the best parts about the vault. It's cheap too so i really have been enjoying my vault experience."Jebu911 from Finland"I joined for the free painting tutorial DVD and stayed for the awesome-ness. This site has a lot of interesting videos. It's a great deal for the money. The Batreps are really cool and I've learned a lot about Warhammer 40k (a game I've recently picked back up) and other games that are played on a large table. I had so much fun I upgraded my service to Silver. It was the best deal for me. Looking forward to more painting videos, more batreps and more awesome-ness. Thanks guys!"Jake from Oklahoma - USA"You should join the vault 'couse its awesome. Sure you can go to you tube and watch, but thats just half the fun, in the vault you get to see all videos MWG have done over the years, and not only that, if you choose silver or gold membership,(Gold member myself since i like what they are doing and we should suport the community as good as we can), you get to download the videos and you get free downloadable dvd, its awesome. MWG Wants YOU to join the vault and be part of the awesomeness that is MWG"Andreas from Boden, Sweden"I had been watching MiniWarGamings 40k battlereports for roughly a year before I decided to join The Vault. I liked the videos and the contents that they made, and I felt that I wanted to contribute. As I was running low on battlereports that I hadn't seen, I decided to take the leap. I was flabbergasted. The amount of contents you get, just for the silver membership, is insane. Countless battlereports, free DVDs, painting tutorials, strategies, post-game videos, the works. I'm pretty sure that I will never get through it all, and I see this as a immensly good thing. If you like what you see on Youtube and you are thinking about joining, but are afraid to not get value for your money, allow me to stop you right there. If you have only seen the free stuff, you have just seen the tip of the iceberg. I can heavily recommend anyone considering in joining The Vault. It's a great value for money, awesome content and more time with the people that we love: The MiniWarGaming team. "Martin Nord from Denmark"Potential Vault Member, Kolonel Kraig here with a dispatch from the Bunker in DC ~ First off let me inform you of the type of individuals that are Miniwar Gaming.  I have had the honor of meeting Matthew, Dave and the rest of the MiniWar Gaming crew on a weekend gaming marathon at their headquarters located in Welland, Canada.  Without a doubt these guys are genuine gamers who truly love the game and the community they support.  They welcomed me and my sons as long lost friends and treated us as if they had known us for life.  Their website is second to none in regards to battle reports, informational videos, and just outstanding entertainment value as a whole.  With that being said, membership in the vault opens up twice the available content as opposed to being a nonmember.  The extra insight into the internal happenings of MWG – such as behind the scenes, outtakes, post battle reports, and the making of videos, opens up a wealth of entertainment/knowledge at such a minimal expense.  I feel they could even triple the cost and the vault would still be a fantastic value!  Combine the entertainment value with the fact that you receive discounts for gaming purchases for the higher memberships and you are able to more than save the cost of membership in a very short time.  In short the higher memberships pay for themselves AND you receive double the content from the website. No brainer here – join today. Happy Awesome Sauce War Gaming Kolonel Kraig                  "Kolonel Kraig from Washington D.C., U.S.A."Awesome battle reports, painting tips and Q&A's. Seriously, these guys awakened the slumbering 40k gamer in me. Each and every one of the miniwargamers have an ability to make their videos fun and exciting to watch. Best regards from Denmark!"Lasse from Copenhagen, Denmark"The Vault contains an awesome of collection of videos for just about any one. For people who are looking for something to watch for recreation, the numerous batreps of all kinds are great for entertainment. For me, the real treasure trove is the countless videos on painting, modelling, and converting. I have learned a lot from these videos which have greatly contributed to my enjoyment of the games. I highly recommend joining the vault, as there is always something to learn from or get a good laugh out of. Worth every penny! "ti9999 from New Jersey, USA"I've only been a vault member for a few days, but it's the best money I've ever spent on an online service. The access to the free DVDs alone is worth far more than the yearly subscription and is absolutely filled to the brim with helpful ideas and tools for gamers to get the most out of their miniatures. Literally hundreds of videos compiled into one place that will save me many hours of aggravation. A+, MiniWarGaming. Keep it up!"Brandon S from Portland, OR" The vault is a place of non stop entertainment; entertainment that rapidly changes to what you desire. There are the videos of every variety, from battle report to WWII background on some piece of tabletop scenery, to drybrushing techniques. But beyond this you can interact with any of the MWG personnel via live shows, make requests, tell them where they screwed up in a battle, throw around ideas or just bury yourself in nonchalant chit chat. The spark you once felt when beginning down the hobby path will be reignited, that flame kept burning strong. It certainly does for me. Thanks MWG!"bigoldfrog from Earth, The Milky Way"Once...the world of gaming was dark,and without warmth. A desolate plain awash with Internet trolls,and cheesie power gamers.Then a light in the distant north appeared and the weary casual gamers of the cosmos were drawn to it.Within this light there spun a glorious Cube of green and white,held aloft by two brothers in arms.BEHOLD MINIWARGAMING.The people rejoiced and declared that it was good. Then the Brothers saw that some amount the people wanted a place apart,a place of joy and contentment,where the Brothers could speak directly to the people and be spoken to in turn.Thus was The Miniwargaming Vault was created to meet the people's need,and it was good.Join us my friend,join the Vault and rejoice with us. Life on the Vault side is very good."Thayvian1 from Oak ridge Tennessee "The vault is a painter's best friend. I can paint very nice looking lenses because of the vault and their battle reports entertain me during the long hours of hobbying. I love the MWG vault and would heartily recommend it to anyone!"Alex from California, United States"Why YOU should join the miniwargaming vault? Well, beside the extra content and the occasional free DvD, the vault is a great place to meet, disscuse and share your part of any tabletop hobby! And don't forget, the more vault members, teh more content on MwG!"Martin B from sweden"A big thanks for MWG, I am most pleased I have found this site and I am enjoying a wonderful silver membership to the vault. If anyone whom reads this and is thinking of joining then DO SO! - don't put if off, it truly is great value for very little money and as a certain mini-war-gamer says "you will be loving your life!!" Being a vault member you are provided with not only 100's of hours of entertainment, but tutorials galore - from tactical play to painting and modelling. Yet the biggest benefit you will get is unadulterated inspiration. Joining the MWG community will inspire you to make it all your own, from painting to terrain tutorials, from banter-play down your local club and even wanting to film bat-reps to share with your mini-war gaming fellows! I look forward to seeing you here soon!"Zetr0 from Norfolk, United Kingdom"I was hesitant at first, I'm not a big battle report fan and that was most of what my exposure to MWG was. Once I signed up I've been hooked on all the terrain videos, the Tactica videos and most of all the painting tips - the quick tip painting series is worth the price alone!"Apocryphal Lore from Ontario, Canada"Its been worth the money for 2 years now. i joined for the tutorials and getting more batreps each week was a welcome bonus. Some weeks there's so much to watch i cant finish everything in the week. The vault is also great for getting to know everyone at MWG. They have posted some awesome behind the scenes videos that are humorous and a nice break from the batreps."Sketh from US"You should join the vault to get to view more painting tutorials and more of the best battle-reports on the internet, as well as to support the amazing people who make them possible."Anthony Zapata from San Antonio, Texas"The reasons I joined the vault was to get more content and learn more about the complicated games we play. I usually listen/watch while im at work, so its kinda like im playing as well. Which is really awesome because I only get to game once every 2 weeks or so. The vault also helps players up there game on painting which is an nice added bonus for me. I believe other members would enjoy the same."Chris Langs from Chicago Illinois"This site is amazing! join and you won't regret it."Daniel Hsu from Taiwan"These guys are great! Great videos and always lots of fun to watch. The 'quick tips' are super helpful. Thanks MWG!"troy95 from United States"Hi all! My name is Anna and I'm currently a Bronze member of the vault and a relative newcomer to the hobby (got into WH40K this July). The two main personalities on the Vault are Dave - a crazy, speed-talking, wild-eyed follower of the Chaos gods, and Kris, the master painter with the velvety smooth voice (seriously he kinda makes it difficult to paint when he's talking :P). Dave's battle reports and discussion on armies as well as earlier terrain projects were definitely handy and I can honestly say my painting skills have gone through the roof since I've been watching Kris's videos here in the Vault. If I had one issue with the vault - which really isn't a complaint - is there is SO much creativity going on here I want to do one of every project and well, I'm a college student with limited time/space/money so that isn't happening. Other than that y'all, you *NEED* to sign up, I mean it. :)"Jedigirl from Atlanta, Georgia"Hello MiniWarGamer staff and potential vault members! I rejoined the war gaming community after a hiatus of 20 years. I lured back by a MWG series of WH 40K tutorials on You Tube and was pleasantly surprised with the quality. I was particularly pleased with the painting tutorials by Kris M, and enjoyed the various Battle Reports. Which, lead me to want to see what was in the vault. I joined as a silver member and was blow away by the shear number of painting tutorials and DVD's that were available as a silver member. In the past I've joined other walled content sites and immediately regretted it. Not this time, now I'm considering upgrading to Gold."SC from Florida"To all of you out there considering joining the Mini Wargaming Vault.... Like a lot of you out there, I have a pretty busy life. Between work and family and the myriad of other distractions that happen day-to-day, it's hard to find time for our hobbies. So, for me, I often find myself staring at the shelves of unpainted grey plastic and metal, wondering how wonderful it would be to get those miniatures finished. Then I see the boxes of unbuilt miniatures and think, "I really should get started on those." All of this contemplation lasts for a whopping two or three minutes and then I'm distracted once more. C'mon you've been there! Since joining the Mini Wargaming Vault however, my procrastinating ways have begun to change. Inspired by the amazing content found here, I have a paint brush in my hand more often. A miniature gets assembled, and all seems right with the world (queue the symphonic music here.) Like a daily dose of nerdy Prozac wrapped in a cheese and bacon sandwich, Mini Wargaming's Vault keeps delivering Wargaming goodness that I look forward to. So to you, Guy or Girl sitting passively on the fence, get over your doubts, your fears, and become a Vault Member now! You'll not regret it!"Mr. Varanus from Indianapolis, USA"My favourite hobby site, the content i get access to for being a vault member is awesome. From painting tips to batreps, i love all the stuff i get here! Totally worth it!"Ken from São Paulo, Brasil"When I discovered MiniWarGaming a few years ago, I had just recently joined the 40K bandwagon. Recently, I joined the Vault because there were so many great videos with tips and tricks that I had never experienced before! I eagerly await the day when I can truly do my miniatures justice by using all these great tutorials techniques!"Angus Jameson from Ramsey, Minnesota

[mobianstrip]

sonic forces me to analyze the game

this is by no means a full, in depth review of sonic forces. however, since im working on a Forces au i think its only fitting to talk about my personal gripes with the game. just to be clear, i dont hate sonic forces by any means! there are some really neat concepts about it that i enjoy, which ill include my thoughts on as well! though with that said, theres a lot about it that could have been dealt with better. this post is gonna be a bit long and messy, sorry!

now i cant speak for what the gameplay controls itself are like since i havent actually played it with my own hands, so my primary focus will be the story and general format of the game. everything under the cut!

ill start by saying that in hindsight, i think the general premise of the game is actually really neat (had the war framing of the plot not been so overly glorified and bland. more on that below). eggman taking over most of the world is very reminiscent to the initial circumstance of mobius in the early archie sonic publication. it seems especially reflective of the comic in the fact that sonic forces takes place on a planet setting more akin to that of Mobius than that of Sonic’s World/Earth, the difference being the lack of human beings aside from Eggman. while this does somewhat bother me for the fact that it paints an inconsistency with the setting, im also all for the planet being strictly Mobians + Eggman again tbh. the concept of sonic being on earth populated by humans, complete with a mock version of the united states, never really settled well with me. it always felt like just a means to make sonic more relatable, which is true, but not done because it made anything more interesting. a problem that then arises is that the origins of shadow and silver/blaze would be radically different or at least would need some retcon alterations to make sense...but thats a topic for another day

overall, looking past the inconsistency with the setting and its implications, i enjoy how the premise of the game feels like going back to the basics. but even the premise still has its problems...which is never a good sign, and this point practically sealed forces’s fate of inconsistency: the theme of war and how it frames the story is so, so poorly written

starting with whats presented at the beginning of the game, sonic is captured by eggman as a prisoner. if the writing had just left it at that, fine. however, the exposition goes on to say that sonic has been there for six months being tortured...and that tails has completely lost it. again id be fine with this - the theme of war is a darker one so these two events would make sense in this circumstance. however, that tension is just totally lost in a matter of a few episodes. you rescue sonic who is just as cheery and jokey as ever, somehow able to fight a boss despite being supposedly locked away and tortured for six months

of course i understand that its not like they could give sonic ptsd and make him look tortured and weak and so on - but why even mention the torture thing at all? the same problem is apparent with the first cutscene with tails. tails is hardly given enough time to seem like he has "lost it". i will say though that tails WAS given a bit more of an emotional response to work with than sonic overall. particularly when tails is about to be attacked by chaos, and he ducks his head in fear and calls for sonic to help him even though sonic isnt there - i actually enjoyed this small segment bc it does reflect some of what was said about how he reacted to sonics capture (aside from also being across the planet...for seemingly no reason except bc he "lost it" and to get him away from the main group so that classic sonic can appear)

frankly speaking from these two points alone, the games tone just feels kind of confused. its obvious the writers wanted some parts of the darker theme of war...and its also obvious that going all out wasnt gonna be an option bc of the nature of sonic as a character and franchise being about more lighthearted, easier to relate to stories about sonics heroism. which im fine with that being the case; sonic is a hero and more importantly a mascot that profits off of kids being able to relate and look up to. my issue is simply that the premise of this game makes consistent writing kind of doomed from the start if the writers are trying to appeal to both the kids AND older fans. they cant go to the lengths necessary to adequately build the narrative. cant go too dark, cant go too lighthearted, and not finding a balance between to two gives you a confused and bland story 

on that note,  i personally find the theme of war to be...uncomfortably glorified and unchecked (adding to the tone confusion and blandness). sonic forces is named so because...yknow. armed forces. armies. the whole point of the game is that theres a war going on and youre on the good guy side. i mean its not as if youre fighting against other living creatures, just infinite and eggmans robots, but still. i think what put me off the most is the first comic with the soldier cat. after they save the day, the last lines are "I'll do better. I'll be better. I'll become a real soldier and a real hero." now slap that as the tagline to a united states army corps commercial and suddenly its really...sour tasting

war is just one of those subjects that i think needs to be handled with a bit more care. i mean think about it: the primary gimmick of forces is that you get to make your own character, to be the sonic version of yourself in this world. the plot of the game is that theres a war, and your character joins the resistance to defeat eggman. this game is pretty blatantly glorifying the idea that joining in on a war can make you a REAL soldier, a REAL hero. to some kids, that might sound pretty cool. but theres no nuance to it whatsoever, nothing thought provoking on the subject. no one steps back to be like ‘its good to do good things but wars are tough and not fun, and being a hero isnt everything’. none-a that

now do i think a sonic game could get it into a childs head that they should join the army for real? no, not necessarily. i think its possible, but i think that would also be due to a larger issue of military glorification present in modern culture in general (especially in america). mostly i just find the implications at play with glorifying the theme of war in conjunction to the avatar gimmick to be in poor taste and also entirely avoidable because...

i dont think the war and army framing even had to be a thing. not only is it just so sloppily done in general, with that fact that the supposed soldier forces on the Resistance side are literally never seen on screen except for some dialogue boxes in one episode and the rest of the time only being mentioned through other characters, but i seriously think never saying the words “war” or “army” and not including literal soldiers would have worked just as well and even been the better route. they could have just been like yeah heres eggman taking over the world, heres the resistance fighters that have come together to stop him, they are opposing forces and you play as your avatar to stop eggman - and just leave it at that. it wouldve made the glorification of war less obvious and the handling of the topics at hand appear less confused, appealing to a more lighthearted tone rather than weighing it down with frankly out of place hints to a darker subject of war

finally i wanna talk about the story as it relates to how its told through the game. the plot itself is fairly standard - eggman starts war, captures sonic, takes over planet. you rescue sonic, and together you fight eggman and infinite and ultimately defeat them. thats all good and well even if its cheesy sometimes. the REAL problem is how its executed. a lot of the exposition is given not through cutscenes, but through spoken dialogue with text box subtitles over the episode select screen. and it just feels so...stiff. it doesnt feel like world building, it just feels like being forcefed information with no substance behind it

i get that fully rendered cutscenes throughout can be expensive and time consuming, but shoot id take in-game rendered cut scenes at least. (like in sa, sa2, shadow 2005...) anything that could have provided the world building with a bit more ground to stand on would have been great. sure, there are levels to traverse which look cool...but they dont provide any sense of scale, they dont tell us what the area is like, and more importantly, you never see the other characters who are supposedly on the battlefield "alongside" you in a couple episodes. the storyline from the exposition along sounds like it could be an epic journey - but the way its told with the given game mechanics (i.e.: stage-based gameplay with no open worlds to explore) leaves a lot to be desired

i feel like the stuff explained in the comics should have just been cutscenes or exposition or something to pad out the game a bit. the comics are so short anyways so why just put it in the game? maybe not the first comic about the rando soldier saving the day or w/e...but the comic with silver and knuckles fighting chaos? the comic about infinites origins? all of that could have easily been included. at LEAST the comic with shadow was part of the DLC...but even thats just so gimmicky. they provide important background to the main plot of this game so i really dont understand why it was sidelined to comics and not just included from the beginning

the tension that the exposition already fails to build up is brought down even worse when coupled with the confusing timing of the stage complete screens, where you get your completion rank and see what new character creation items you unlocked. listen, i know immediate gratification for completing the level is important and all...but i swear, having these screens between the end of a boss fight and the cutscene showing what happens to them after being defeated seriously impairs the flow of the game. maybe having it there allows for the cutscene to load up in the background to improve efficiency, but personally id prefer seeing a loading screen as the break between a boss fight and the following cutscene after it and THEN the stage complete screen to finish the sequence off. the boss fight end cutscenes arent that long anyways for the most part, so its just nonsensical to have the stage complete screen interrupt the action when theres only a two minute scene left to it

i cant stand how streamlined forces is to the point of the main plot. what happened to games that actually take the time to explain stuff, show us extra bits to the story and how they connect? and even when forces' does explain SOME stuff, its through audio/text only dialogue. nothing visually interesting, just...dialogue. and then its off to the next level. forces' feels very bare bones honestly. the story is supposed to feel big and epic but it just wasnt given enough to bring that feeling into fruition. this is probably the only thing that saves forces’ from the war glorification issue because the game simply fails so miserably at telling a compelling story due to poor writing and poor formatting that the war stuff gets lost in the mix - and thats just sad

all of this brings me to my conclusion. fuck i wish sonic forces was a better written and executed game, because i do think it could have been so cool. i really like infinite as a villain, in both his design and personality. yeah hes kind of a whiny, edgy bitch - but he had potential. and its really gonna suck if this game killed off all that potential in one fell swoop

(then again, thats why we have fan content and aus :3)

[movietweets]

Thor

Okie dokie, here we go one more time (obviously we’ll be doing it more times than one more) for another MCU film. This time I’ve got a jar of delicious greasy olives to hand and I’ll be watching Thor (2011). 

The only difference between this and other tweet-alongs is that I’m actually not going to tweet it! Yeah... I know that’s not really allowed but screw you! I make the rules and I prefer this format with the pictures and everything all at once.

Also since starting this I’ve lost 5 followers. It means almost nothing to me but I don’t want to be an annoying pest and I can see how filling up your timelines with endless tweets about a film you’re not even watching could get irritating. So suck it up, this is how it’s going to be from now on.

Anyway, on with the show.

What’s this? A rag-tag band of misfits in a van! If only they had a dog it could have been Scooby and the gang! They even have a Velma.

Daphney’s on point but looks like something awful happened to Fred. So sign of shaggy or scoob yet, no doubt they’re off somewhere making unrealistically tall sandwiches.

Oh, but maybe they’re baddies... they do appear to have a bomb,

Whoops, things aren’t going so well for them now. I’m having twister flashbacks!

Damn! Did they just hit someone? Maybe they are baddies...at least they got out to try and help. This has a sort of teen horror movie intro vibe to it. I’m sensing that they all might die soon. 

Oh now we’ve jumped back in time and now its a history documentary, That was unexpected! 

Oh not these guys from Game of Thrones! Is this set in Westeros then? Even the music is a bit like the GoT intro music.

Okay, this is a wackiest one yet, two alien races (that nonetheless look roughly humanoid) are having a war together on earth (of all places). It’s a little bit lord of the rings too. I’m having all kinds of feelings here. 

Asgard: also known as Organ pipe city.

So what? Fight to the death? My money is on the blond kid, the other one looks like the jealous villain type. 

I guess he did win then...Look at that cheeky wink. Although, I think it was aimed at his mother? Maybe that’s normal here. 

Healthy Asgardian flirting with mum

Alternate cast of The Lord of the Rings

And that guy dressed in jealous green must be his brother from before. Man he looks bitter. I bet he turns out to be the main baddy. These films have a track record of introducing the baddy within the first 10 minutes and I get the feeling it isn’t going to be Velma or any of the Mystery Machine bunch.

Oh Heck! Its an icy man! They’re baddies too!

Ooo, don’t piss off King daddy!

He’s such a sneaky snake. If only Thor didn’t have such an ego. He’s like Norse Tony Stark

Typical Gimli, in the room for 5 seconds and already grabbed a massive plate of food. 

Roadtrip! 

Why are they riding horses though, isn’t this world super high tech? Come to think of it, why are they wearing armor and fighting with swords? Don’t they have laser guns? Even that bloke from Ironman, living in a hovel in Russia, managed to cobble together a laser weapon. What gives!?

Idris Elba! Oh I hope he’s a main character! Looks like he needs a rest though... his eyes are pretty bloodshot.

Is this where rainbow road from mariocart is set? Or is that some kind of future techno-path?

Ideally I’d like to make some clever comment about this transportation sphere thing but its just too bizarre... Who know’s maybe this is what alien technology is like?

Hold your breath guys!

Could have said something earlier Asian Aragron! No use piping up now with your doubts!

Yep, I’m sure he’s going to back down now. He seems like the backing down type to be honest. Not a hot head, just easy going Thor, trying not to upset anyone.

Nobody calls me a woman! Even though there’s nothing wrong with being a woman. I’m not a sexist demi-god, really I promise! I know literally every other religion has a pretty bad track record but I’m different... It wasn’t what he said, it was the way he said it! 

Daaaaammnnnn! You got burned son! How you gonna let him front like that?

Oww! You got me right in the hand! No fair! And down he goes like a premiership football player. 

Cool hammer trick, I wonder how he does it? Magnets? It’ll definitely be magnets. I’ll bet it’s magnets.

Oh no! Frostbite! I’m sure there won’t be any long term consequences though.

Why is he only pulling out that attack now? Also, great wrist action, that must come in useful... Some friends he’s got though leaving him there to fight alone.

Another neat trick...This guy is a demon with the hammer.

Okay, now this is just hammer porn.

How many legs does that horse have? Is that part of the mythology?

Uh oh! Somebody is going to be grounded when they get home!

Isn’t Thor the god of lighting? If Final Fantasy has taught me anything about elemental damage its that he should have gained HP from that taser.

He’s going to end up in an institution! Hasn’t he worked it out that he’s on earth yet? They all knew about earth earlier.

Here’s Johnny!

I guess you’re not going to be crowned King Arthur.

Told you! That’s it buddy, you’re in the system now. Your only hope is a Native American smashing a window with a water fountain. 

Wow, Portman really has a knack for running this guy over.

HMB I’m going to get me a kingdom. 

Okay party’s over. Agent killjoy is here.

Yeah, real subtle Portman! I know he’s got a pretty ripped body though so I don’t blame you for acting like a school girl.

Oh surprise, surprise! Sneaky snake bro is a sneaky snake.

I’m blue dabba dee dabba doo. He actually might be that guy from X-men though. 

Stolen avatar baby. Again this seems familiar. Right George R.R. Martin? 

NO! DADDY!

HAHAHA! This guy is worse than Hulk for smashing.

How much did Zuckerburg pay for that totally unnecessarily distraction from the scene.

Oh she’s totally smitten. He’s everything a girl could want: brutish, zero social awareness, no money but really confident and with a killer bod. It literally makes no sense though, she’s a total babe but has to wait for a mental patient to literally fall from the sky to find a man. Has she even tried Tinder?

America! Land of freedom! They’ll steal your stuff and there’s nothing you can do about it...

Apple? you too? Aren’t you setting enough Ipods already? It’s 2011 for christs sake. I swear Velma is only in this for the product placement. 

The king is dead, long live the king. He’s like one of those co-workers who suddenly becomes a dick when they get a promotion so supervisor.

Good thing she turned up, that guy looked like he was about to show him to the back-room bestiality ring he runs on weeknights.

She’s doing some pretty impressive mental gymnastics there to even consider that he might not be completely bonkers. 

Is this a theme starting to emerge, ignoring daddies instructions?

Why does he need to go in there at all, that’s my question. we’ve already seen that he can use his magnet hands to summon it from a distance. He could have done that from up on the hill and then flown them both the hell out of there before anybody knew what was going on.

Gun or bow and arrow? 

Hmmm... I’m feeling cocky today.

I knew it was magnets! 

He just said it! Right there!

Oh, what a let down. He’s fucked now.

No use crying over impossible to pick up hammer. As they say.

Who’s this Robin Hood guy anyway, obviously not just a random grunt or he’d have gone with the gun and would probably be dead by now.

What is snakeboy doing here? It’s all your fault but don’t blame yourself. This guy is a sociopath.

I think my eyes just nearly rolled out of their sockets. Absolutely shameless.

Okay MUM!

Earth Daddy is a rebel after all. CHUG THE BEER, GET IT DOWN, DOWN IN ONE, DRINK IT ALL!

Of course it was all him all along. Sneaky snake.

MY VOICE IS RIDICULOUSLY DEEP AND RESONANT!

Just having a chilled night in with a good book and some ‘Go Lean’ Cereal! 

Oh! Heaven forbid that he see your cereal!

Greedy ginger Hagrid is always stuffing his bloody face!

“Don’t you DARE fat shame me!” 

Everything in Asgard is so serious and stern. Don’t they ever just chill?

So that’s where crop circles come from! It’s just the Norse gods popping in for a visit. Technically it is aliens then I guess.

Final boss? It does look like something from Dark Souls. 

Oh cool! Cosplayers! 

Just act natural guys...

Not dinosaurs? I it could happen right? Wouldn’t be the craziest thing to have happened in this film so far.

Oh no its just Norse Ironman. Eat shit Tony.

Just like in the wild west... but seriously, why hasn’t Norse Ironman used his face cannon to finish the job yet? He’s wide open!

Wow, that worked?

Psyche!

Oooofff!

He’s not going to have died though is he... lets get real here. Something is going to save him.

There we go space daddy’s tears made a massive hammer fly out of the sky and electrocute him back to health. 

Saw that coming a mile off, its straight out of the superhero user manual.

Can you really hit fire with a hammer?

It’s not exactly what you’d call comfortable though is it.

What a melt.

Really, all that tension and you’re only going to kiss her hand?

Finally.

WHAT? Double, double cross!? Such a sneaky snake but it won’t help you once Thor gets here.

What’s the big deal about frost giant genocide? They’re obviously evil! Just look at what they’ve done north of the wall already! They’ll eat Danarys! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

How come it doesn’t just crush straight through him if its so heavy?

That was lucky. These superheros always get lucky.

Nice shot. This film has been surprisingly good quality, I think its the first one that I’ve really enjoyed the whole way through. Even despite its ridiculousness!

No surprises at who’s tucking in at the feast!

Awhh Daddy is finally proud of you. What a tear jerker.

Alright, lets see what happens in the after credits scene...

Oh its earth daddy and nicky the patch! Take a look at my energy cube? Oh no! who’s that in the background?! Not snakey snake bro!

The End.

Well I didn’t hate that one. I didn’t hate it at all. Tune in next time for Captain America. It’s one that I’m particularly looking forward to hating every second of. Bloody America man! 

[nicemango-feed]

Thoughts on Manchester Attack....& Responses that Just aren't Helping

The Manchester terror attack broke my heart, as each and every terror attack does. It chilled me to my core…again. 

Image from CNN.com

With the frequency of these attacks, it’s hard to process them all and properly mourn the loss before your attention is diverted to yet another tragedy. 

During the time I finished up this very blog post, I heard of deadly attacks in Baghdad and Kabul. It's hard, so hard to take it all in and grasp the magnitude of loss around the world. 

My thoughts are with all those who have suffered. 

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The Manchester attack targeted children while they were out having fun, enjoying music, enjoying life... 

Image from here

It’s those very freedoms that terrorists hate, they abhor those who don’t live in the same ideological cages as them. 

I sit here and try to absorb all the fragmented commentary coming from all angles, trying to make sense of this, trying to understand how we can change it for the better. How do we stop this from happening? I don’t know.. because the terrorists motivations seem to lie in a tangled web of things, parts of which each side wants to deny. The most obvious of those is extreme blind faith in an ideology they consider to be infallible.  

I look around me, and see there’s nothing new here…

The left though well intentioned, nor the right, theists, nor atheists - no one is hitting notes (on this subject) that deeply resonate with me anymore. It’s pretty much the same tired commentary, the same motions we go through after each terror attack. 

“Islam is evil”

“”Nothing to do with Islam”

“Muslims must do more” 

“Muslims should not have to apologize for something they have nothing to do with” 

“Islam is war”

“Islam is peace” 

“Its all about foreign policy”

“Its all about religion” 

We really have to do better than this, because neither side on this issue is getting through to the other. Just screaming at each other till we’re blue in the face isn’t going to accomplish anything. 

It’s obvious this is a problem that needs to be addressed, denying links to Islam as people shout Allahu-akbar and take lives just doesn't suffice. It’s not helping anyone, least of all muslims. 

This isn’t to say that how all muslims practice Islam is hateful, divisive and dangerous...but we must acknowledge that some extreme muslims do take it this far, if we want to start solving this. Of course every community has it’s extremists..but Islam does have a lot more Westboro Baptist equivalents …and too many who are even more extreme than Westboro level.

There is a fundamentalism problem coming directly from the rigid orthodoxy that Islam commands in the 21st century. Our communities can certainly do more to promote diversity and inclusivity…we do fall short there, we’ve got to own it…only then can we begin to tackle it.

All that said though, here’s another thing thats not cutting it; Laying the blame on all Muslims collectively. 

This is like me saying portland, Quebec, NYC - white supremacist murders all by you white people. Its just not right to lump innocent people of the same demographic with violent savages who murder people. 

In this case in particular, it’s not fair to say Muslims could have, or should have done more as a community…as the bomber, Salman Abedi had been reported to authorities multiple times. There are mixed reports about him being banned from his mosque, so I'm not sure about that. But mosques can always do more to try and root out extremism. 

Full story here

With a frightening surge in white supremacist and anti-muslim attacks in this Trumpian era, the polarization amongst us is growing at such an alarming rate...I fear we’ll end up at a point where we have to pick a side between nazis and jihadis. Already people seem to think you can’t care about both…each team trying to emphasize the horrors of ‘the other side’ while trying to downplay or deny the horrors that come from people within their communities. 

Full story here

Full story here

We’ve got to do better, all of us. Looking inwards, is important for all communities, self-critique is how we improve.

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The post terror attack scenario, is sadly our reality more and more often…around the globe. I understand its a moment of panic, anger, high emotion. People aren’t always thinking clearly on any side of the debate. But we have to do better, it’s the only way we can beat this monster. The one thing they want is to divide, disrupt and create chaos, sow hatred... in the days, weeks, months after…it’s something we should not let them have. 

There are a lot different types of counterproductive behaviour that emerge right after a terror attack, I feel we can make an already horrendous, painful situation a little more bearable if we refrain from this type of behaviour: 

'The Nothing to do with Islam’ chorus - I get it, it’s a reflex to distance either yourself (if you’re muslim) or an already persecuted minority from the worst, most violent people among them. But as all the liberal/muslim defenders of the religion will tell you, Islam is not a monolith. There are many people, majority of muslims in fact who manage to ignore or ‘re-interpret’ the same verses that drive the terrorists to kill. Why then does it all of a sudden become a monolith with boundaries that exclude terrorists when convenient? You simply cannot deny that those verses too come from the same religion. Just a different interpretation…if you start defining ISIS as ‘not real muslims’ you are playing their game. This is essentially what they do to dehumanize muslims that aren’t living up to their barbaric 7th century standards. The defensiveness and the desperation to distance terrorists from the religion that they themselves claim inspires them, makes defenders appear intellectually dishonest or in deep denial. In order to see the whole picture we cannot keep hiding from the fact that religion has a major role to play in religious extremism. There is hatred of music, hatred of women, of LGBT, of non-muslims coming from Islamic scripture, and theres no way you can modernize, reform or improve things if you at the very least don’t acknowledge that this problem exists. Fine…say this is not how you read it, but you can’t deny that the raw material exists for others to interpret in more violent ways. 

Sharing selective out of context Quran quotes guy - Nope. If you think you can share selective positive quotes, then don’t forget that people can and will rightfully share selective violent quotes to counter that too. This just looks like dishonesty or incomplete knowledge (which is also an issue, as many muslims are taught a curated version of scripture and often in a language they don't understand, I honestly didn’t know the existence of some of these verses till I did some research on my own…and hence, ‘ex-muslim’... 

I’ll make the same point for those who randomly share selective violent Quran quotes in the aftermath of a terror attack…not as a rebuttal to anyone denying violence in scripture…but just putting it out there that ..’look the scripture is violent… this scripture ALL muslims live by is dangerous” - no, this isn’t the time or place for that. I wholeheartedly agree…the scripture is vile, violent and all that. But tying ordinary muslims to these violent words when they may not fully be aware of its meanings, or even know of its existence is just in poor taste when they will likely already face a backlash of anti-muslim sentiment after an Islamic terror attack. I would say at other times, absolutely share this stuff, make muslims aware that this is what it says, and ask them to question if they’d really endorse this stuff. But RIGHT after a terror attack? Not a good idea imo. The bible has some vile violent verses too…we’ve just reached a point where many people don’t take it literally, and I hope we get there for Islam too…but if thats the goal tying *muslims in general* to violent verses in ancient scripture post-terror attack is harmful and counterproductive. 

Reminder, for the 'but what about Islam' types, I'm not sharing this to deny or shift blame from the fact that the Quran has equally violent, abhorrent verses that do inspire such horrors. But just to demonstrate that it is not uniquely evil, it is just unique in how seriously it is still taken today by many...unfortunately. 

Being blindly narrative driven without any regard for the truth - whether on the left or right, all muslims bad or all muslims good. This can take the vicious Nazi-esque Katie Hopkins form (far more dangerous and sinister of course), or it can take a well-intentioned but dishonest form from a magazine trying to portray muslims in a good light. You might be well intentioned but if you knowingly lie about things (see Cosmo screenshots below), ultimately you’re doing more harm to Muslims than you are good, and also providing fodder to the far right…who will find it easier to dismiss positive stories about muslims because of things like this.  

So they seem to know it's a Sikh person at this point...

How then...does this dishonest headline get printed? I mean there might very well be muslim Taxi drivers doing this as well, but juxtaposing it with this picture of a Sikh man, is really misleading!

Jump to Islamophobia concerns community leader - usually a guy being interviewed on TV who actually barely says two words about the horror of this attack before turning it around and making it about him and his community. Come on dude, priorities…yes there will likely be an anti-muslim backlash…i feel you…I get your concerns, I think anyone of muslim background shares those…generally people with brown skin might be fearful, as some non muslims have been killed as well in anti-muslim attacks. So i get it, legitimate concern….but in the aftermath of an attack, the first thing on your mind shouldn’t be the impact this will have on you…have some sympathy for the victims, for the horror their families will be dealing with.  

Similarly, on the fliplside theres the 'You can only care about one thing at a time' person - To this individual if you are concerned about a woman’s hijab being violently ripped off at the same time as the attack, you clearly have no regard for the victims of this brutal attack. This seems absurd to me. You can simultaneously express concern for both…because both harm innocent people. To assume there is no real violence being committed against perceived muslims is deeply foolish or deeply sinister…this isn’t about a few mean words hurled at muslims. This is about pregnant women being kicked till they lose their babies, this is about innocent people being killed. Their lives are no less valuable than those who went to the concert. You can and should express concern about both, of course one of these is not a large scale terrorist attack so one is more pressing and urgent, but this doesn’t mean that anyone expressing concern for both cares any less about the victims of the actual bombing. It just means they are looking at the bigger picture and concerned both about longer term as well as immediate effects. Sad this has to be explained, but there are many 'skeptical takes' out this week saying the victims of the bombing take a backseat if u care about anti-muslim sentiment rising during this attack. Its not one or the other, this is tribalism, plain and simple. And until we stop making it about us vs. them…and see that it is a cyclical problem where hate feeds hate...and that far right anti-muslim hate also fans the fires of Islamism, we won’t be able to combat it. 

The niqabi who decides to wear a grenade t-shirt on TV - ok this is rather specific…but i’m referring to a real fucking person who thought it was a good idea to be on TV and be interviewed about radicalization in the muslim community while wearing a black t-shirt that spells love in fucking *weapons*. 

At first i thought it was a photoshop job.. but sadly not...See video here

What kind of a person thinks thats a fucking good idea..? I mean of course Tommy Robinson was all over that. I don’t think it necessarily says anything about her sympathies or affiliations, as it appears to be a widely available 

t-shirt, 

but I mean the optics of this on a hipster kid and on a niqabi talking about extremism on TV after an *islamic* *terror* *attack* are completely different. Of course people are going to draw conclusions about what she was thinking. It might very well be that she foolishly thought it was a good ironic msg about peace, love and being anti violence or something…but fuck...it does not come across like that. Terrible terrible idea. NOT HELPING. 

'Hashtag Terror attack you say?!...Buy my books because I generally talk about Islam & stuff' person - 

Seriously...don’t be that person…don’t plug your non-specific stuff using a terror attack that took many lives. Of course some content is genuinely helpful and some content has been created as a specific response or commentary to this attack. That’s not what i’m talking about… it’s perfectly ok and also necessary for us to have access to different commentary and viewpoints after an attack. It’s how we process and form our opinions. This very piece is that… I’m talking about unrelated things that people are plugging using the hashtag and all. Don’t do that. That’s really in poor taste. 

Projecting negative intent on anyone that’s visibly muslim - Don’t be like Molyneux, probably a good rule in general.

(This is from the London attack, but the point remains.)

Whining about how people express their grief - Im sorry but people cope in different ways... are you that miserable of a person that you cannot let people heal in the ways that suit them? Coming together in groups, singing, feeling part of a community can feel powerful....and unite us at a time we feel so helpless otherwise. It can make us feel like we're doing something at least. Expressing ourselves through music and song is one of the things jihadis hate... its why they attack concert halls ffs. Don't be the guy that piles on to that. "Liberals just sing while the terrorists bomb us" - right cuz the singing is how they specifically plan to combat bombing. Liberals would go to battle ISIS armed with Jon Lennon songs I'm sure. 

I mean can people seriously have a problem with this kind of thing?

Goosebumps! The amazing moment Manchester crowd joins in with woman singing Oasis - Don't Look Back in Anger after minutes silence http://pic.twitter.com/Cw4mOq8yde

— Josh Halliday (@JoshHalliday) May 25, 2017

Is this not a valid & beautiful unifying, powerful response to human suffering? I don't understand the pettiness...

But What about [Name other Tragedy] - This isn't a contest, human suffering isn't a contest, please don't try to negate one tragedy by saying another deserves more attention. Yes some things get more air time than others, sometimes because it's closer to home, other times because of some aspects of the story. I wish i knew how to insure that all tragedies got equal attention, but this doesn't happen in the real world...so please don't take away from other horrific acts because the one you're talking about got less coverage. 

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I’m sure there’s a ton of more examples of unhelpful behaviour… feel free to add your observations too, in the comments below. But I just felt I had to put this out there after seeing so many cringeworthy takes, making an already tragic situation worse. 

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