#like that phone call is actually kinda cute ngl
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riversongg · 6 months ago
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rewatching 6x18 and I find it hilarious that eddie and marisol’s scene with the most chemistry in the show is a scene that they’re not in the same room for
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cheeseceli · 10 months ago
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When you don't use their card
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Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!Reader (individually)
Genre: fluff, reaction
Request: Wondering if you could do stray kids giving you their card when you go out shopping, but you don’t use it and they see you haven’t and what they do 💗🖤
Warnings: not proofread; nothing more if I'm not mistaken
A/n: this layout is so pretty, admire it with me for a second pls
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Bang Chan
Y'know when he goes 🤨? That's him right now. Genuinely doesn't understand why you wouldn't use it. Like, the card was right there... Next to you... And you chose to not use it? If you explain that you just didn't want to use his money because you didn't feel comfortable, he'll explain to you that he doesn't mind in the slightes if you spent it. Actually, he'd be kind of honoured if you did. When he convinces you, he is smiling all adorable and content fr
Lee Know
When he didn't receive any notification from the bank he thought you had actually lost his card lmao. The minute this thought pops in his head he's calling you asking about the whereabouts of his card. When you tell him that you just didn't want to spend his money, he'll manage to convince you to use his card through the phone. He has a proud grin when he receives the first notification from the bank.
Changbin
He'd be kinda sad ngl. When he offered you his card and you took it he was feeling so proud of himself 😭 like "oh I'm such a good boyfriend :D". So when you don't use it he pouts for a second or two. Spend his money and he'll get happy again real quick!!
Hyunjin
Got a little :( tbh. But he doesn't address about it nor have a really dramatic reaction at first. Some days later he will spoil you with a lot of gifts, things he thinks you could've bought with his card. Half of it is just to make you happy and half of it because he wants to make you feel valued through his acts.
Han
Oh he's betrayed. How could take his card like you were going to use it but then you don't?? Stabbing him would've hurt less (he'd be so dramatic lol). Would try to go shopping with you next time just so he can make sure he'll be the one paying
Felix
When he didn't receive any notifications of the bank he thought that you just didn't buy anything. Perhaps nothing satisfied you so you didn't even buy it. But when you come back home with your shopping bags he's so ??? Like "how did you buy those things🤨". Audibly gasps when you tell him you used your own money. Betrayed pt2.
Seungmin
Gives you a glare that makes you freeze when he finds out. Next time you go shopping he offers you his card again, making sure he's glaring at you again like there's a threat in his eyes - "you better use this card this time." When you actually do he switches up completely and gives you the sweetest smile ever lol. It would be kinda cute ngl
I.N
I think that at first he wouldn't have noticed that you didn't buy your things with his money. But then you go shopping again and his bills stay the same... I think he'd catch up at the second or third time. Accuses you of letting him be delusional all this time believing he was the one paying for you😔 jokes aside he'd let you know that it's okay if you don't feel comfortable spending his money, but it's his pleasure to spoil like this and that if you don't mind him paying, you shouldn't hesitate on actually using his card
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Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated! | masterlist
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
Thank you for the help bestie @zzzzzwicked 🫰🏻
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kozmicmizuu · 1 year ago
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at this point expect random lil senecios and headcanons just popping up 😔🫶
also is it obvious i have a favorite trio????
(a lil uzuigiyuu, rengiyuu, uzuren, actually just put three together uzurengiyuu)
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Kyojuro: Tengen doesn’t deserve you.
Kyojuro: If they don't treat you right by now, you're gone.
Giyuu: I'm gone.
Kyojuro: Now go chop their dick off!
Kyojuro: sapnu puaS.
Tengen : What??
Giyuu: What language is that.
Kyojuro: Turn your phone 180 degrees.
*Kyojuro was removed from the groupchat*
Giyuu: Kyojuro, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?
Kyojuro, naked in Giyuu's bed: No, I absolutely do not.
Giyuu, already taking off their clothes: ... Me neither.
Tengen : There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?
Giyuu: Nope, there's 26.
Tengen : Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.
Giyuu: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.
Tengen : You'll get the D later ;).
Giyuu: No.
Giyuu: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.
Kyojuro: Don’t preach to me about romance, Giyuu. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.
Giyuu: I know, i was there and so was Tengen.
Kyojuro: Oh yeah.
Kyojuro: What are you in the mood for?
Giyuu: World domination.
Kyojuro: That's a bit ambitious.
Giyuu: You are my world.
Kyojuro: Aww...
Giyuu:
Kyojuro:
Giyuu:
Kyojuro: OH.
Giyuu: My bad…
Giyuu: We need a diversion. I say Kyojuro gets naked.
Tengen : No.
Giyuu: I could get naked.
The squad: NO!!!
Tengen: I mean… if you really want to-
Kyojuro: NO DONT THATS ONLY FOR US TO SEE
Giyuu: WHAT
Kyojuro: There. How do I look?
Giyuu: Like a cheap French harlot.
Kyojuro: French?!
Tengen: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.
Kyojuro: Of course we would, right Giyuu?
Giyuu: Yeah, i mean we already kinda are.
Kyojuro: What’s your body count?
Giyuu: Do you mean sex or murder?
Kyojuro: I hate the fact that i have to specify which one im taking about.
Kyojuro: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?
Giyuu: What’s up your ass this morning??
Tengen : *walks in* ...Hey.
Giyuu: Hmm… nevermind.
Kyojuro: WAIT NO
Giyuu: *sucking on a popsicle*
Kyojuro: Pfft, you practicing for when Tengen gets here?
Giyuu: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*
Kyojuro: *Concern*
Giyuu: don’t worry he’s into that.
Kyojuro: Oh ok- WAIT WHAT
Giyuu: look Tengen , I'm not slut shaming you but...
Giyuu: Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.
Tengen: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Giyuu: What did Tengen do this time?
Kyojuro: More like WHO did Tengen do this time?
Giyuu: *Nodding in agreement*
Tengen : I like your top, Kyojuro!
Giyuu: I have a name, you know.
Kyojuro: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.
Giyuu: I thought is was funny ngl.
Tengen : Sorry, I'm late to the party. I've been doing things.
Kyojuro, entering in an unbuttoned shirt: I got caught up doing things too.
Giyuu: Wow, Tengen was late too! What a coincidence!
Giyuu: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.
Tengen : Wow, I've gotta hear this.
Giyuu: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.
Tengen : You forgot pride.
Giyuu: No, I'm pretty proud of this.
Giyuu: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Tengen :
Tengen : I'm gonna tell them.
Kyojuro: Don't you dare.
Tengen : Who do we know that has handcuffs?
Giyuu: Well Kyojuro and I-
Kyojuro: *elbows Giyuu*
Giyuu: ...wouldn't know.
Tengen: Damn i didn’t think you’d be kinky Kyo!
Kyojuro: Why single me out!?
Tengen: Quiet people are always kinky.
Giyuu: Nuh uh
Kyojuro: Bonjour, Giyuu. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?
Giyuu: No, I don't want to sleep with you.
Kyojuro: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.
Giyuu: Know why I called you in here?
Tengen : Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.
Giyuu: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?
Tengen , with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.
Giyuu: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.
Kyojuro, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!
Tengen , not looking up from their book: Really? Giyuu, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.
Giyuu: I thought we were having a sleepover..
Kyojuro, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?
Giyuu: Yeah, sure.
*A few minutes later*
Giyuu: Here you go.
Kyojuro:
Giyuu:
Tengen : Why am I here?
Giyuu: I’m so funny.
*At a speed dating event*
Tengen : Oh wow, people are really shallow.
Giyuu: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate?
Tengen : *Checks their pulse* Sorry, not yet.
Giyuu: Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again.
Tengen: Again?
Giyuu: Being a medium is an experience.
Giyuu: Do you think sex without love is a sin?
Tengen : If it is, I’ll see you in hell.
Kyojuro: Why are you two like this?
Tengen : Priest kink is definitely a thing and I am afflicted by it.
Giyuu: Go to church.
Giyuu: WAIT—
Giyuu: Oh look who got laid last night.
Kyojuro: That’s right chumps, missionary accomplished!
Tengen : Heh, Giyuu sneezes like a girl.
Giyuu: How about I pound you like boy?
Giyuu: That didn’t come out right.
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Sigh i’m not well, but i love them sm. They are severely out of character but that makes funny. that’s there dynamic now fr fr. Don’t worry they can wholesome.
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chaostroberry1 · 5 months ago
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Hi, it's me again. How are you? I hope your day is great 😊 I am back to ask another request 🤭😅 Sorry if I ask too much this week 🙇‍♀️
Anyway, this time is about ror Poseidon (wanted to do Beel, but I am scared you already had enough with many Beel story 🤣🤣).
It was isekai-ed reader (kinda or sort off) like the reader is a witch and had read RoR, her favorite is Beelzebub. She hope she can went to RoR universe at least wanted to hug her bias once. But what she get is... she got asthraled (forgot the word. It was like your soul or ghost someshort of spiritual come to another place but you are kinda invisible and cannot be harmed since you are ghost and all.) instead you fall down to Poseidon lap.
Ror Poseidon of course angered and threw trident at you, only for it to just flew through you and you are unharmed. Unfortunately for both of you, you seems stuck with him because you try to get away or him get away it always end with you being dragged by force to him. He is very annoyed by not only because you are human but also because you insistent on wanting to meet Beelzebub. You both banter daily and all.
He grow fond of you, and deep down scared if you will suddenly move back or meet Beelzebub as he know your love for the flies (lowkey he though you are in love with the devil and not love him as a fans). And the day came where Poseidon cross with Beelzebub and he find himself so jealous at how you fawning over Beelzebub resulted in his very first argument with you and you huff and the reader having enough just kiss him... only to find herself go through him. Come the fluffy live between you two. The reader love teasing Poseidon who act as if he is not affected on outside but when it was only two of them, he is a big cuddler and softy.
Can you please made headcannon and story about it? It was up to you if it going to be after or before Ragnarok. Thank you so much. Have nice days and wonderful days 😘❤❤❤
Hi hun💕 thank you for this, it's so cute 😭 seeing a jelly Poseidon is actually funny to think abt ngl
Poseidon mini story+mini headcanons
Poseidon × isekai-ed!witch!reader
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You find yourself scrolling through your phone, reading the newest chapters of record of Ragnarok, your all time favourite manga. Or maybe just something you read to pass the time, whatever. You fawned and giggled over your favourite character, specifically, Beelzebub. Poor baby, you wanted to give him a hug and kiss his face all over, since he didn't deserve any of this.
You so wanted to go there, but that was impossible. Your worlds were completely different, and he was fictional. He wasn't real. Or so you thought.
When you went to bed that night, your final thoughts being your bias, you suddenly open your eyes again, this time, the surroundings were different. It was all so colorful, like you were being sucked into a portal that led to someplace else.
"is this a dream?" You mumbled, before suddenly, you dropped, letting out a little squeak, looking up. Then...you saw the face of an angered god, who was just as surprised as you. But more pissed tho.
You landed on the lap of the tyrant of the sea, Poseidon. Great, just your luck. What the hell and how the hell did you end up on his lap? You couldn't even process when he took his trident.
You floated away, letting out little panicked sounds, as he got up, throwing it at you, only for it to pas through you, as you looked at him wide eyed. "Mortal, who do you think you are to commit such an act towards a god?"
When he heard your explanation, he let out a "tch" deciding to stop, before ordering you to leave, which you gladly did so. Well, that didn't go so well for you. With a magnetic force, your body was brought back to Poseidon, who looked at you like you just called him a bitch and slapped him in the face.
"I told you to leave."
"if you can see, I am struggling to!"
You recall reading a book about things like these, and you then start to connect the dots, coming to a conclusion that your soul had been transported to a completely different world, while your physical body was back in the other.
You and Poseidon tried to part ways, but no matter what you did, you kept being forced back to him. As mucha s he wanted to believe that you were faking it, you really looked like your were upset and struggling badly. So now he was just stuck with you.
At first, he found you annoying, the way you'd just float around while he walked, his movements always being watched by the little ghost on his ass, man this was a pain. You were a pathetic human, and your whines to meet Beelzebub were so irritating. But all that was passed him. It slowly came to him that he grew fond of you, he found himself entertained by watching you float around stupidly, and just be on his back all day, begging him to go near an ice cream truck so you could eat something tasty.
But when those thoughts came over him, another thought presented itself. What if you broke free from him, and set out to find Beelzebub? That, that really wasn't a nice thought. But the day came where by absolute luck, he walks passed Beelzebub, and he immediately looked behind him to find you squealing and fawning over the lord of the flies.
Poseidon had many fan girls, so why couldn't you have just been one of them? Before you could get near Beelzebub, Poseidon immediately distanced himself from the god, forcing you with him, making you pout and whine.
That was his last straw.
You were his now. So why do you look at other guys like that? It's obvious that you were sent to him for a reason. That resulted in an argument between the both of you. Before you finally had enough and decided to kiss him. You didn't know why, but your body acted on its own, what's worse is that you passed through him, as he stared at you with wide eyes, slowly calming himself. Before telling you to touch him.
You were confused, and still embarrassed, before you touched him, his body slowly turning spirit like, just like you. He had read about it before, and knew exactly what he was dealing with. And now that he knew the side effects, and everything else, he went over and kissed you, kissing you with so much passion. Knowing that nobody could see both of you. And from there, you both started a relationship.
The effects wore off, and he became a touchable and physical being once more. Looking at you, and then softly speaking. "You're mine now. Understand? That's an order."
Your heart beemed, you knew you loved beelzebub..but this exchange with Poseidon had completely altered your way of thinking.
He's not so bad after all...
________ random mini headcanons._____
- bro still does his best to make sure Beelzebub ain't anywhere close to you. Like literally he hates it when he even thinks about Beelzebub and you having an interaction. Nobody stealing his bae.
- he's cold and all, but when y'all are together, he's so needy.
- even if ur a ghost, you will either be floating round him, or be on his lap.
- sometimes, his brother's find him talking to himself, unaware that you were chatting with him. They fr thought he had an imaginary best friend.
- jealousy issues frfr
- when you told him about how you thought there could be a chance where you'll eventually be transported back to your world— mans was pissed. He would do so much to avoid that from happening, ordering servants to find anything about things like these, just to avoid it from happening.
- yes I mean everyone.
- he couldn't afford to lose you. Not when you are one of the very, VERY few people he had took a liking to. So anyone that posed as a threat shall be demolished.
- he hates how your eyes dart immediately to anyone who looked even the slightest bit of nice. Like he's literally over here wtf.
- I jus know that whenever you're hungry, he'd order his servant or smth to get him the most randomest shit like your favourite food, ice cream, or whatever you liked.
- people who serve it to him are dumbfounded when they see that Poseidon, THE Poseidon, is requesting...a dessert???
- only for him to stare at it with the most uninterested resting bitch face known to man. Until the food suddenly dissappears out of the blue without the god moving an inch. But they can't question it tho.
- and yo ass is just munching on the food, happily floating around and thanking him.
- his servants or anyone for that matter would be even more surprised when he started ordering them to buy stuff like clothes, jewelry, and all....
- was their god keeping a secret mistress??? But then again...they cannot ask. Or their heads would be served on a platter.
- he's a good boyfriend and hubby, y'all's marriage would come in so randomly after he just states in in a meeting with the other gods. Explaining everything and then dropping a "we're getting married in a few days"
- dang. Oh well, didn't matter. He was just happy that he was gonna seal the deal with you. All his, and he'd make sure you'd become immortal too, just like him.
____
@17kurodaayumu this was fun!
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kcalsforhim · 9 days ago
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⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ wed 30th oct 2024 - past midnight
ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ
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ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ
the morning was nicely underwhelming… nothing much done to be honest… my friend couldn’t hang out so i just went out on my own. called eli while getting ready cause when am i not otp with her her friends are sick of seeing little femboy twink in the corner of their eyes on her phone
anyway took the bus to the centre and first went to the h&m. was trying to get my minecraft boxers out of that pick up box using a code but the code wasn’t working. some girls complimented my style and i asked them if they knew how to open this box. they did not but they did stick around to help me out open this box. called support and shit and I GOT MY BOXERS LOL
they stuck around so we went to manos cause i was going there and they were following me around LOL. i got my usual order and one of the girls also got a boba yummy yummy.
we sat outside and we chatted for a while it was actually very nice and when it got dark and one of them left the other gave me a ride home she was super sweet and kinda fine ngl 😖
ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ
no step goal
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ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ
contains : cucumber, edamame beans, carrots, wayyy too little avocado than usual, chicken, salad mix base (it was different this time ????? it had green onions)
also : vanilla mix pudding it was very good i know it looks gross but that’s because it’s room temp so it’s not smooth
ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ
cal goal : 430
spent : 433
ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ
FUCK YOU LADY AT MANOS i miss my male coworker that genuinely looked like he ran a mafia gang to make me my pokebowl. i’m not even mad she didn’t fill up the bowl all the way like the guy did because i’m not so concerned on getting fat… im mad cause the SALAD MIX HAD FUCKING GREEN ONION ????? the way i was gonna crash out. stop.
the pudding was also so yummy and just ugh love it… after i ate this food the way i genuinely passed the FUCK OUT like i crashed i stilll had my entire outside outfit on at this point 😭
ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ
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i feel like a whore today but it’s fine… my ribs are ok… i feel ok… i guess ? i’m scared for tommorow…we’re having all you can eat but what if i can’t eat all i want 😖
ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ
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thinspo that haunts me… and a drawing eli made of me that i thought was especially cute. she really captured my “ariana grande sleeve” habit 😖
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i’ve been feeling so amazing and good and genuinely MANIC this song describes my feelings so amazingly <3
ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ
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jonnnysuh · 2 years ago
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Dating S Coups would include
A/N: HIIII Happy new year !!! Long time no see. I wanted to write one of these for so long but it just wasn’t working out…. And then my brain came up with this out of no where. I’m not sure how well this is gonna do bc it’s been a while ((also no one has ever requested s coups??? So I’m really doing this for no reason LMAO)) I’m ngl i kinda popped off on this one. also fun lil treat at the end <3
Series Masterlist
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Crushing stages:
This is a friends to lovers type of man!!! I cannot stress this enough
You meet each other when you’re kids and one day he looks at you and it just clicks
At first you refuse to believe there’s something between you two bc you’ve known him for so long
But there’s something about the way he says your name when he’s sleepy, how he always makes sure to be on the “dangerous” side of the sidewalk for you, how he is the one thing in your life that feels stable and warm and right
One day he’s like “fuck it” and goes for it bc there is no feeling in the world as definite as his love for you
Dating:
Bc you’ve been friends for actual eternity he knows you so well
It goes beyond just remembering all the foods you do and don’t like (which he does know) … HE CAN TELL WHEN YOU’RE LYING
Also bc of this, he’s the first person you go to for advice
You know he’ll be honest and fair and help you come up with the right decision bc he just… knows you
Sends u drunk texts bc he cannot stop thinking about u ever
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100000% compared hands with you when you were just friends LMAO AND STARTED INTERLOCKING FINGERSJSJDKSK
He does not get tired of listening to the story of when you realized you had feelings for him
Will do things for you even if he’s tired out of his mind as long as it makes u happy
If u needed a glass of water in the middle of the night there is no question about,, he’s getting up from bed to make sure you have it
“Text me when u get home” 🫡
Brings up embarrassing childhood stories about you
But don’t worry you also got some dirt on him so he won’t be hehe-ing for too long
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NOOO I FEEL LIKE HE’D ENJOY MAKING LEGO FLOWERS WITH YOU (or any sort of thing where you guys can sit in comfortable silence,, as long as you’re together type thing)
IT’S A YEARLY TRADITION
Is not afraid to tell you his opinion
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And won’t always agree with u
Sometimes he wont say it tho, you can just tell by his face…. But also guess what Cheol ur not the boss 🤬🤬🤬
Loves late night drives !!! Eeeee imagine listening to music in the car with him and singing your lil hearts out
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One hand on the wheel one hand on you
Having a Spotify blend of ur guys’ favourite songs 😭😭 and they’re always in rotation 😭😭😭 Imma cry rn
He said “I love you” first. Tbh he always knew he was going to be the one bc he can’t help it, it’s so easy with you
Cuddles after a long day
“C’mere” in his tired voice FJOSFIOWJXJKWNS!!!
Spoonfeeds you bites of his meals
Your parents really really like him ((he’s so charming I fear there was no choice))
Sends u cute lil update pics
YOU GOT THIS FULL GROWN MAN SENDING YOU KISSY FACES
Nah he for sure has an album in his phone called “us <3” or some shit with just pics of YOU GUYS AHHHHHH
For some reason I feel like he’d like the sound of his SO’s voice
Is your voice of reason when u wanna make a dumb decision … but will that stop u from being dumb sometimes??? I think not
Lowkey…. Blows u kisses…. No one else is allowed to see tho ok shh
Your whole house smells like him after he visits bc his cologne is STRONG
Often times when you’re cuddling in bed he’ll be looking over your shoulder so u guys watch TikToks/videos together
Soooooo supportive! He’s so proud of you!!
Competitive asshole
It can be the most mundane thing ever but he has to win or even just tease you about it
Voluntarily gives you his sweaters and shirts
Lifts you up a bit when you guys hug
Long-term bets ((just cause y’all know you’ll be together for a longgggg time))
Calling each other by your childhood nicknames
He gets excited when you guys talk about the future he literally cannot wait to spend his entire life with you
Taps on his cheek for a kiss jfodjdjkdnd
Plays with your hair so gently that it causes you to fall asleep
“How are you, my baby?”
HE HAS TO ADD “MY” BC YOU ARE HIS BABY
Protective. If he thinks someone’s gonna mess with you he’ll step in at the exact right time
Lowkey gets jealous,, he needs that reassurance sometimes
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NAHHHH imagine saying “make me” to this man …. That’s all I’m gonna say
Bites u (lovingly)
Loves going grocery shopping with you and taking an extra long time in the snack aisle
Has the urge to sing cheesy love songs around you bc you make him feel like those songs!!!
If you do something cute he’ll blush
Messing with him is so much fun bc theres literally endless ways to go about it
You have the privilege to push his buttons
Either one of you bringing up childish shit like “REMEMBER WHEN WE PLAYED FREEZE TAG AND YOU DIDNT UNFREEZE ME??”
If you start showing him things on FaceTime he’ll give you his full attention like he’s in the room with you
Gets pouty when he wants a kiss and you’re not giving it to him
NAH if you get sulky coups it’s over with you’ve already lost … the man is getting what he wants
play wrestles with u
The way he looks at you there is honestly no denying that he is so in love with you
The one person in the world who knows everything about you
Loves a good deep talk but fair warning: he will get emotional about it
All I’m saying is s coups is a certified lover boy methinks
BONUS:
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kumezyzo · 1 year ago
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i just wanted to check bc i saw your dadnap hcs and they were so cute and wondered if you’d write some for george? i never see any for him and you have some really cute ideas (even if you wrote the angsty ones instead/as well) !!
this is such a cute idea 😭😭 im ngl... i originally found george super cute before i knew what sapnap looked like....
moving on.... i feel like with bf!george it would def be a semi planned pregnancy. like, you guys would have definitely mentioned kids before. talked about names. the whole nine yards. so yea...
anyway, enjoy! or dont... :) m.list
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bf!george who completely freezes when you tell him you might be pregnant.
bf!george who stares blankly at a wall as you two wait for the pregnancy to be 'ready' (in georges words).
"is it ready yet?" he would ask, his voice low and his eyes stuck on the wall.
"two minutes," you would respond, checking the phone timer and fidgeting with your hands.
bf!george who kisses you when the test turns out to be positive.
bf!george who is lowkey very excited to take you to your appointments to check on your spawn.
bf!george who wants to know when you have new cravings so he can have them ready for you at ungodly hours of the night.
bf!george who gets really excited when he finds out youre having a girl. when he actually thinks about raising a little girl with you, it makes him feel all soft and emotional.
bf!george who tries to give you encouraging words when youre giving birth. but it obviously doesnt help because you end up telling him to shut up.
bf!george who sheds a few tears (aka cries like a baby back bitch) when he gets to carry your daughter for the first time.
bf!george who holds your daughter more than you get to hold her simply because he loves it so much.
bf!george who posts cute pictures of you and your baby together.
bf!george who acts like he finds it weird when people call him a dilf (but he secretly kinda likes it).
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the title i have for this in my notes is "dadnotfound- wait-" just felt like sharing that 😭😭
sorry this is so short, i juat couldnt think of much. i hope you still enjoyed tho!! -nony
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pianostarinwonderland · 1 year ago
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Chapter 7 Update Thoughts
There’s a lot to say really 😅 but I guess right now, as someone who’s seen a lot of the big theories, I’m so happy to see those that are coming true while at the same time seeing new things that Twst is introducing
Spoilers underneath the cut! I may update this post as I hear more tls, so look forward to more things about this chapter that will appear 👀 just a note that I'm getting pretty much everything I know from Discord and Twitter lmao
So this update focuses on 4 characters: Idia, Yuu + Grim, Ortho, and Silver
So contrary to popular belief, Malleus’ spell did in fact reach Ignihyde and now Idia’s asleep
I find it neat that when Idia’s phone vibrates, ours does too. Love the immersion
SO IDIA DREAM WILD AS FUCK BECAUSE ORTHO’S ALIVE 😭😭😭😭 AND HE’S IN ROYAL SWORD ACADEMY broooooo Ortho’s teenage voice hurts my heart,,,,,, the things that could have been,,,
They just talk about,, from the very little context that I could get, it’s about the first day, like how oh Idia’s the dorm leader of Ignihyde and such
Then after that, Idia chats with Muscle Red
AND THEN IDIA GOES OUTSIDE??? IN HIS ROBES???? Holy shit you gotta like sit down and think here. So this is the first day, so entrance ceremony, right? In the robe stories of Idia and Ortho, Idia would only be going out because Ortho pushed him to, but eventually Idia ended up just being in his room and brought his tablet 😭 but here he’s going outside on his own volition,,,, the mans is happier wtf
Speaking of robe stories ! They actually kinda follow Robe Idia’s story in that Idia encounters Malleus! AND THEY TALK ABOUT GAOGAO DRAGON BECAUSE MALLEUS’ TAMAGOCHI WENT OFF 😭😭😭 it’s the way they bonded with that small thing
Just realized as I’m typing this, Malleus is actually in his robes 👀 so here, he’s actually prepared for the entrance ceremony vs in the real story, where he didn’t know about it.
At some point in the conversation, Idia's like "I've seen this somewhere before" and Malleus is like "something wrong Shroud?"
Then Lilia actually arrives and finds Malleus and calls both dorm leaders to the ceremony
And hooo boy this part really got me because it’s the prologue 😭😭😭 Riddle, Leona, and Azul were talking and introducing themselves and GODDDD I GOT CHILLS JUST HAVING THIS PART OF THE PROLOGUE AGAIN
Malleus actually introduces himself! And as expected everyone’s pretty nervous and all that
The entrance ceremony went without a hitch and Idia’s back in his room where he’s talking with Ortho. Ortho mentions his roommates and that’s all I could figure out
Throughout the entire dream, Idia’s like something feels wrong………. Eh, it’s nothing
Then shift to Yuu and Grim!
AND THEY ARE IN MICKEY’S ROOM FROM THRU THE MIRROR
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Ok so Yuu remembers what happened, and I find it interesting that there’s no voice when they’re remembering Malleus going berserk and shit.
Anyway, they wake Grim up and they’re just admiring the room all like yo is this Ramshackle??? But also no, it isn’t Ramshackle……
And then they see some of the objects coming alive like the ottoman and the trump cards and that was so cool
AND you know that by seeing that room in Yuu’s dream,!you would figure out that we’re about to see someone important B)
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IT’S HIM IT’S THE RAT IN THE FLESH !!!! 🫵🫵🫵🫵
Yuu and Mickey did a high five 🥹🥹🥹🥹 it’s so cute oml, and Grim finally got to see Mickey in the flesh.
They do talk and Mickey tells them that he could only reach this room when he's asleep but eventually Yuu and Grim tell Mickey about their predicament
But then something rings and Mickey fades away 😭
And THEN the dream starts to collapse on them. And well actually what I mean by that is that a gloop of ink drops onto them
GRIM 😭😭 HE TRIED TO FIGHT IT WITH ALL HIS POWER but he was getting tired and everything seemed hopeless
UNTIL SILVER COMES IN
yooo ngl when Silver shouted “KANTOKUSEI” my heart went boom 😳😳😳😳 I loved the way he came in and saved us
AND AND THE N TANND AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN
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SILVER UM SILVER UM SILVER UM
It’s called Meet in a Dream. The kanji literally says ‘let’s see the same dream’ which is whoa. Silver explains what his UM does but it’s explained much later and I want to get through this chronologically so this part gets cut off and we switch to Ortho’s <3
Ortho ends up in the cyberspace and he was able to log his memories to a backup file. So yea he’s pretty alarmed and then he goes to check up on Idia
Idia is asleep and Ortho tries to wake him up but fails to. He goes around Ignihyde to see if anyone’s awake but then nope everyone’s also asleep
Ortho sees Main Street and pretty much the entire Sage Island and well shit ! Everything’s covered up in thorns!
So Ortho is like what do I do and then he sees Idia’s tablet and it says 21:18, which is the time that he also saw when he was in the cyberspace. And he's like oh shit time stopped
Anyway meanwhile in Styx, everyone’s noticing the energy field surrounding Sage Island. And we get to see the Shroud parents!
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why they out here looking like power rangers
damn, Ortho really takes after them
So anyway Ortho eventually arrives and then explains to them about the situation with Malleus, and everyone's like damn
Shroud parents will contact Briar Valley for info on how to stop Malleus, and then meanwhile they created the Cerberus gear for Ortho so that he could enter the energy field
what's funny is that they actually had to go through Idia's computer HKSDFJHHDSKFS to be able to make the gear, they needed some of the files that Idia has for Ortho so that they could even make the gear in the first place. Mama Shroud was like "pls don't tell your brother" and Ortho's like "oh my god how did you get past my brother's ultra mega tight security" well it's ok, mama shroud didn't check Idia's hidden encrypted folder...........
Can I just say, I absolutely love Mama Shroud���s voice LIKE!!! She is so cute, AND SHE CALLS IDIA AND ORTHO IDI-KUN AND ORU-KUN UEUEUEUUEUE SO CUUUUUTE
ANYWAY CERBERUS ORTHO IN THE FLESH !!!
And then it switches back to Yuu, Grim, and Silver B)) so they end up in a really dreamy sky at first...... and then they start falling.
idk about you but it lowkey reminded me of The Incredibles where Dash, Violet, and their mom fell from the airplane. Probably because the sky colors are similar
But also man, that sunset really such a pretty color
anyway, they end up in Diasomnia, and Silver tells them that it's Diasomnia dorm in a dream
He explains to them how Meet in a Dream works: basically he can enter someone's dream, but he can't choose whose dream he enters. He won't know till he sees this glowing blue bird around a person and only he can see it. He also can only enter the dreams of people he has some sort of bond with. So it weirds him out that he saw Mickey at one point when he doesn't know him. Also, he can only use it when he’s at least aware that he’s dreaming, which makes sense.
He also explains to them that that inky darkness they encountered?? It might still be lurking around and he's encountered it before apparently. It pulls you into a deeper sleep
well shit.
Silver says that they need to get to Lilia’s dream to find a way to stop Malleus, but yea because he can’t choose which dream to enter to, it’s not gonna be the easiest
Then they encounter Sebek, and Silver sees that blue bird and oh it's Sebek's dream!
Sebek's like HEY IT'S A HAPPY DAY MALLEUS AND LILIA ARE HAVING A CELEBRATION TO GO OUT TO THEIR INTERNSHIP IN THEIR FOURTH YEAR
But yeah when they're there, SILVER FUCKING SNAPS. because Lilia was saying "after the internships are done, we can settle back into our cottage and be together forever". And Silver's like the real Lilia wouldn't live long enough
Malleus gets really fucking pissed, and he's like how dare you're awake and you ruined this happy dream. And his OB form shows up, and oh shit! Time to battle him again!
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Lookie lookie we see his phantom! It really is Maleficent’s dragon form!
Andddddd that HP is horrible again, we’re meant to lose again
So anyway Malleus was gonna send them all to a really deep sleep when Silver's amulet that Lilia gave him earlier on starts glowing an aurora colored light, and then Silver's able to use Meet in a Dream, and then bam they end up in a forest that is exactly like the forest from Sleeping Beauty !!!
And then suddenly oh shit a bunch of soldiers come in and their garb looks like Maleficent’s minions from the movie
Sebek can understand them!
And then ..!!!
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Guys it’s general Lilia.
See that long hair??? It’s r e d
They really said no face reveal Lilia yet 😭 just that hint of hair which is honestly more than enough
As if it’s not anymore obvious, the blue bird shines on Lilia, and so yeah this Is Lilia’s dream.
And Twst is so funny that they ended it right there 💀 we’re really gonna have to wait for the Lilia lore.
This was such a yummy update 😩 as someone who’s been here a while, seeing so many big theories that came true and so many things that threw off fans fills my heart with so much joy 😭😭😭 this was so good. I actually can’t wait for more
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xxfillerxx · 7 months ago
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liveblogging tot chapter 11 part 2, spoilers
Ill update this post as I go bc my phone is ass at exiting and entering apps
The story: oooh, is Vyn up to no good, he's very suspicious, who knows what he's hiding?
Vyn opening a can of coke in the hospital:
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I love seeing Vyn's girlfailures and fumbles as much as he has shadiness in this story lmao
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You know when this music comes on some goofy shit is gonna happen and it'll be hilarious:
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Seeing Vyn's acting compared to Artem's acting with Rosa is hilarious lmfao
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Congrats on Vincent for coming out of the closet on trans day of visibility ☺️🏳️‍⚧️
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NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
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I went "ill cry if ots jerome adams offering clues" AND HE APPEARED FUCK IM SCARED 😭😭😭
I feel like from his quote abt "the heart being judged only by the heavens/hell" is mean hes either gonna be morally grey or suuuuper fucked up
MC have you not learned 💀💀💀 do NOT take mystery phone calls or texts you got KIDNAPPED and almost died last time i thought you were smarter than that. At least ring one of the NXX guys
Actually im a college student im ngl i WOULD ask jerome adams for budget tips religiously. Actually hes kinda cute
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NOOOOO OGIER :((((( Vyn why did you send him away 😭😭😭 justice for Ogier 😔😔
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Also i feel like Vyn's thing so far is to keep being sus bc A) telling someone would ruin his plans or B) he just doesnt bother telling anyone and only will tell NXX after the fact bc its easuer that way, which might be more likely.
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LMAO mc and vyn bullying his uncle is such a power move
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I am disappointed by the fact that there was no trial showcase 😔 WHAT THE HELL WERE WE COLLECTING EVIDENCE AND CLUES FOR THEN??? TO THROW OUT???
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atztranspm · 1 year ago
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Seonghwa PM 4 : 07/21/23
What are you all doing
Ah in korea
It's night
It's afternoon here
There's no time to get used to the time difference
Wait a bit, I'll be back
*goes live*
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(This took me a bit ngl, I couldn't concentrate but uhhh hehe I did it!)
So for I think for the first live, it wasn't working properly and he was like "is it thing on?" So he ended it after a little and then restarted it
He finally got it to work 🤩 anyways he said his cute little hellos and stuff welcoming us and then started talking about what he was doing. He was resting in the hotel after he had gotten some churros. (He fr got me craving some so I went to buy some of my own) anyways.....he said he ate a lot but couldn't finish them so jongho came and got the rest. (I want to be jongho so bad)
(Do to seonghwas toktoq posts if you wanna see the churros, he posted them and they looked really good)
Atiny were asking him to show his face but he said he was bare faced and wasn't very comfortable with doing that yet. He said in a later live he would, but for this one he was just going to speak. (He has mentioned that he wasn't very confident in his bare face but bros literally so beautiful I tear up everytime I see him)
He talked about their concert in jeddah and how much fun he had being able to see atiny jump around and have fun. He said he was happy and enjoyed it a lot, he was able to end the concert happily and well.
I think someone had pointed out his lowkey stuffy nose but he said it wasn't a cold or anything, not to worry, his sinuses were just a little swollen. He tried curing it with ice but when he had asked for some, he didn't know that he had to pay. He said the bag of ice came with a receipt and he was so confused. He thought it was free but then sounded like an old man by saying "this generation...." 💀💀 he now knows that he is getting billed from now on when he asks for ice.
A few atiny asked about the games he was playing and animal crossing, but he said he hadn't played much in a while and that he was into Zelda at the moment. He even tried getting wooyoung to buy it so they could play (I'll play with u Hwa 🥺)
He talked a little about the summer photobook coming out, he said that those were take a while ago and he didn't really remember the shooting much. (Apparently there's water involved???? 🤨)
He also kinda spoke about the new magazine shoot for cosmopolitan and that he had lots of behind the scenes pics that he wanted to show us. He can only post 10 on insta tho (ateez solo Instas when kq?) He said it was hard to choose but he'll show us
Someone asked if he was tired or sleepy (cuz of his voice) and he said no actually he was adjusting well to the time zones and is well rested. He said the private jet had some comfy beds and he felt like he fell right through it, that's how soft it is. (I'm lowkey jealous, take me with u seonghwa) someone else asked if it was just the members, he said no there was 13 of them (both members and some staff)
A few atinys asked if he could do lives often and he said, if he didn't have to show his face he would. He just likes talking to us and it's really nice and comfortable for him to do lives like this (got me crying or whatever 🤧 ) he agreed with a comment that said it was like a phone call
He was looking at the time back in korea and said that it was getting late so he had to go. He said that even though he still had some more time in his day, many atiny were going to bed and some were starting there's so he was going to let us go now. He said his cute little goodbyes and ended the live
(This live was so cute, seonghwa never fails to make me sob in the corner of my room)
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grunge-mermaid · 11 months ago
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grunge rewatches The OC pt 1
I haven't watched this show since it aired. when I was in high school. I'm assuming it hasn't aged well, but who knows
1x01 The Pilot
"modern medicine is advancing to the point where the average human life span will be 100. But I read this article which said Social Security will run out by the year 2025, which means people are gonna have to stay in their jobs until they're 80"
20 years later, Ryan seems like an optimist
this is the show that taught me that there is a world where people have pool houses
ooh smoking so edgy
baby!Dr Link
he grew up good
naming a boat after a girl you've never talked to? that's not a red flag at all
early 2000s teen girl fashion was a travesty
"open collar, it's a good look" Ryan is correct
no one is carding the 15-year-old at the bar? he's only 2/3 the legal drinking age in California come on
is he 15? 16? idk. how many seasons are they in high school for?
I will operate on the assumption that they're 15 until proven otherwise since Luke is the only one who drives (that we know of so far)
gay slur count: 1
ok Summer's dress in the fashion show is kinda cute but that hair & makeup are a travesty
All American Rejects oh man
the music in this show is pretty amazing ngl
"I should really learn to knock in case there's a threesome going on in the bathroom"
gotta have the requisite gaggle of girls on cell phones to show they're rich
how did 14-year-old me not realize I was queer when faced with Summer Roberts in a bikini and low-rise skirt? I'm so sorry, 14yo grunge, you really missed out on fully appreciating
(psst, present day grunge: Rachel Bilson was 22 in season 1. you're good)
ableist slur count: 1
what teenagers actually speak like this have the writers ever spoken to actual teenagers before?
ok a 15yo who cooks breakfast bc his parents are shitty and abusive & he needs to cook or else he doesn't eat & neither will his parents? absolutely believable. also absolutely believable he would do it out of habit + as a thank you for taking him in for the weekend
a 15yo who cooks bacon and pancakes and sets the fucking table for breakfast? who is this child
ok maybe it hasn't aged as badly as I thought. the hair and clothes have, but otherwise it's holding up ok
1x02 The Model Home
ohhh I remember this episode
I think
there's a fire, right?
Luke and Ryan fight and they start a fire in the model home?
wait Marissa drives maybe they are 16?
Ryan and Marissa are prime Siblings Or Dating content
flip
phones
gay slur count: 2
$100,000 seems pretty low-stakes for Jimmy to be so worried about given the presumed scale of the investments he was managing
like, that's a lot of money for sure but if he's
the show that introduced me to Jeff Buckley's version of Hallelujah
girl you met him literally 2 days ago why are you so intense about this?
you're not romeo and juliet calm down
oh there's the fire
Luke "I'm an asshole bully not a murderer" Ward
Julie was pregnant in 1986 so Marissa at least is almost-17?
but if season 3 is their senior year, then in season 1 they're all going into grade 10, so shouldn't they be 15? I'm overthinking this, I'm aware
1x03 The Gamble
Julie Cooper reminds me of Bertha Russell but without any of the charm or warmth or manners or fashion sense
I should take that back. Bertha doesn't deserve to be compared to Julie Cooper, she's too beguiling and clever. Julie is just shallow and manipulative.
"no two black tie events in the same month" I would love to live a life where this is my biggest concern
of course these women watch Dr Phil
god they'd be on the front lines of Moms For Liberty wouldn't they
"we welcome everyone here. I'm from the Bronx and you're from Riverside" what a fascinating definition of diversity (Newport, not Sandy. Sandy knows what's up)
"he called me white trash"
honey, you may be rich but you are pretty trashy
being trash has nothing to do with net worth and everything to do with attitude
"Ryan's gonna stay with us now" 😭
ok that's it for tonight but I was wrong. besides some atrocious fashion and period-typical homophobia, it's holding up pretty well
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aarrraaaavvvvv · 1 year ago
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Well, it's 4:48 am, Ive written like half of the story. I came up with the idea of the story just coz I was horny and imagining stuff but as I started writing it, it ended up becoming much more than a sex story. I haven't started writing the sex part yet, so I decided to just end this part, like it does and the people who are interested in just the sex part can go to the next part.
And if you're actually interested to read this story, go ahead you cute little human....OH BY THE WAY, this is the first story that I'm ever writing.
So here we go,
I've always been kind to him and he's always been just too avoidant. The feelings are clearly mutual but once it was just too much, i took a step back. If he gets his mind in the right place and finally learns how to swallow his pride, then good, or I can find someone else who does.
After a month of not talking to each other, he finally calls me up on a random day. It was the start of the vacation after the mid-semester exams. It was a cloudy day, i was feeling good about my hair, the air was cool just like the tall glass of iced coffee I was sipping. I see his name pop up on my phone, shocked, but i pick it up calmly. There's 3 seconds of silence before...
Him : Hi
I sense the nervousness in his voice. Its kinda cute ngl.
Me : hiieee
Him : Umm, h- how're you ?
Me : Well I'm good, the weathers good as well, exactly how I like it. It's a good day.
Him : Yeah I know you love this kind of weather. Ummm did your exams go well ?
Me : Yeah they did actually, i actually studied this time which is kinda surprising but yeah I feel good about it.
Him : I'm glad.
I can hear him smiling
Me : You sound nervous, are you okay ?
This makes him even more nervous.
Him : Yeah in fine, totally. I'm not nervous. Noo.
Me : Cool.
Him : Well, the weather's good and i thought maybe we can go out today ? Are you free right now ?
Me : Umm, right now ?
Him : Yess right now !!
Me : Well yeah I'm free right now, are you taking me out on a date ?
Him : NO I'm not asking you out on a date, I'm just asking if you wanna go out with me.
Me : Okay, where are you taking me ?
Him : Well, idk if you remember but we always talking about going to that lake together, so we can go there today.....the weather's good too.
Me : Ofcourse I remember that. Sure, we can go there. Just let me know when and where are we supposed to meet and I'll be there.
Him : How about we meet there directly at the lake ?
Me : okay sure.
Him : Well ill be there in like 90 minutes and you live close to there so start your journey accordingly. I'll be there at 4:30.
Me : okay done.
Him : Okay, see you soon.
I hang up. I resume sipping my coffee, keep it down on the table and as i gradually start processing what just happened, the sudden wave of thoughts starts kicking in. I'm actually very happy how he finally reached out, I had lost all my hopes of getting in touch with him ever again but he proved me wrong and as i realise the kind of thoughts I'm having, I try to stop myself.
"nope"
"stop expecting so much"
"it's just a cassual meeting don't have such high hopes"
I've been dissappointed by this guy so much so many times but love makes us stupid and we always go back to having that false hope. But not this time, I'll go see him with the lowest expectations I've ever had, it'll just be like a first date with any other guy i meet on Grindr, even though a part of me will be hoping for him to be like i always wanted him to be, treat me nicely, like a fucking boyfriend.
This is the never ending cycle of thoughts I was expecting while I get finish my coffee in a hurry, take a shower, get ready with the best outfit my not-so-fashionable ass can come up with, and start my journey to the lake.
As I start walking, I recieve a text from him- "I just checked on Google maps, my bus will be there in like 30 minutes".
"Guess I'll have to wait for him", I think to myself as i react to that message with a "👍🏽". It's only fair though, since I'm always the late comer on our previous dates, he's the one showing up late this time.
I reach there, wait for him sitting by the waters. I start listening to the playlist of songs he once made me, even though we stopped talking, i still listen to the playlist and both of us keep adding songs to it every now and then. I recieve a text from him, "I've reached, where are you?".
I playfully reply with, "find me". I KNOW he would be pissed off with this but i do it anyway 😂. After a couple of minutes a pair of hands rudely takes out my earphones from my ears, I turn back and it's him. He stands in front of me, looking cute as hell, with those curly hair covering his forehead and a nervous smile on his face. His lips look sooooo bitable right now but i control my urges and stand up to nervously say hi to him with the creepiest of smiles i could ever come up with. We greet each other and start walking and just having awkward conversations for a while, for a shocking change, he breaks the ice this time and says that it's really good to see me again. I smile and continue walking. His hand brushes with mine as we walk. There's an ice cream shop on at the lake and as we pass by it, i smile and move towards it. He follows me to the shop. While I'm looking at the flavours he says, " let me buy you an ice-cream today". I just stare at him in silence coz it's very new to me, it's always me spending money on others. But since he's been a total bitch to me in the past toh I let him. We both continue walking which ice creams in our hands and on our way back we sit by the water to see the sunset. As we finish our ice creams, the silence becomes awkward again. He nervously puts his hand on mine while I look at a cute cat sleeping by the waters. I look at him and just smile.
Me : I'm glad we met.
Him : same pinch
I feel a little bad as he still hasn't taking about anything i have been wanting him to talk about, he hasn't apologized even once. But i calm myself down and just decide to go with the flow.
Me : Im kinda surprised how you came all the way here just to meet me.
Him : Ughhh, i was just getting bored at home and wanted some time away from my neighbours. My flatmates are all gone for the vacation so it's just me at the flat. I thought I'll have some peace but my neighbour kept bugging me. I had to get out of that place.
Me : Oh, so you're just getting bored that's why you met me.
Him : No it's not that, I wanted to meet you.
Me : yeah whatevs.
Him : Well, i came all the way here to meet you. Maybe you can go back with me to return the favour?
He says with a smirk...
Me : Are you serious ?
Him : Yeah why not? I'd rather be annoyed by you than my gross neighbour.
Me : Well even i wouldnt mind some time away from my annoying cousins.
He smiles and tightens his grip on my hand, we get up and start retreating to his home as it gets darker.
We sit together in the bus, holding hands, he rests his head on my shoulder. Both of us are nervous as fuck but we're just letting our hormones control us. I want it, but i don't want it at the same time. This is wierd, ughhh what if this is all just platonic ?
Songs :
Skinny Dipping - Sabrina Carpenter
Mine(Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift
Electric Touch - Taylor Swift
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stinkylittleanon · 2 years ago
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Hello!! Here’s my description for the Pokemon Sword/Shield and Scarlet/Violet Matchup Trade!! I put it in bullet points to make it easier ☺️
- I’m 20 years old, so I need to be shipped with an adult. I personally headcanon Arven and Nemona as adults, so please keep that in mind
- I work as a librarian and enjoy writing, drawing and baking. I’d probably be working as a student library worker at Naranja Academy in this scenario. I LOVE researching things and am a huge nerd in general
- I’m 4’ 10” tall (so crazy short, 147 cm) with a slender and toned figure, long fluffy brown hair and glasses. My style switches between masculine and feminine a lot, and I tend to wear unusual but cute outfits
- I’m Autistic and Disabled with stuff like scoliosis, lightheadedness (I faint a lot :/), breathing issues, weak bones and chronic pain in my hands, back and hips
- I have a very good sense of humor. I love making people laugh!!!
- I’m very goal-driven (especially while playing video games) and love training my pokemon to get stronger. I love story-driven games that let me fulfill objectives lol
- My friends say I have warm, inviting vibes that make people feel at home. I love comforting people and am quite good at it! I rarely if ever get mad at anyone or anything. A fire Pokemon could burn my books and I'd still be like "You're fine sweetie, it's not your fault, don't even worry about it ☺️". I’m the type of person who could make friends with anyone. That being said, it is hard for me to put myself first sometimes and I tend to be a little self-sacrificing too often
- I get flustered really easily. Just call me any cute nickname or compliment and I'm on the floor. An online friend called me babe once and I nearly threw my phone across the bed and squealed
- That being said, I’m very affectionate. One of the easiest ways to relax me is by holding my hand, so I tend to do that or cling to people’s arms. But I also really respect boundaries and know when people don’t like being touched so it depends
- I'm very sweet and polite, but can also be a bit if a gremlin. My entire moral alignment is neutral good because it boils down to "Yeah, but it'd be funny". I know when to have fun and also when to take things seriously
- I have two main goals in life: Learn as much as I possibly can, and help people. I feel like those things are what I was put here to do
- I’m very booksmart but also incredibly stupid, in a high wisdom low intelligence kinda way. I’m a walking trivia machine but also have no sense of self preservation whatsoever.
- Though I might not seem like it, I can be very stubborn and blunt. Never to the point of picking fights, but once you’ve lost my trust, it’s honestly hard to get it back. So very sweet, but fierce when provoked
Thanks so much!! I can’t wait to do yours, I’ll have it out as soon as possible! Also sorry if this is too long, I like to talk lol ;-;
Hiii!! Thank you for putting it in lil' bullet points, it actually helps so much! Also it's not too long at all! For Scar/vio I match ya with...
Arven!!
The first thing that made me choose him was the height difference, I'm ngl! I headcanon that Arven is at least close to 6ft, not quite there but he's definitely taller. (I'm a sucker for height differences LMAO) Anyways! Arven is a carin' guy, and even if he kinda struggles with his anger a bit he's still the sweetest person you can meet when you get to know him. He's a bit of a mess too, but that's not something you can't handle! - When you first meet, it's after Arven graduates (finally) and begins working as a substitute for Naranja! I hc that he becomes one of the teachers in the future, so this is his lil' head start into that. - It's quite a mess when you two meet... Literally, this guy manages to knock everything over- And you're just- So nice about it... - Arven can't help the way his heartbeat quickens when you two meet. You're so sweet but... You've got this aura that just tells him you're ready for it all. - And after you two meet, Arven keeps going to the library to see you. He's a goof, and you seem to enjoy his company... And he really likes talking to you. You know so much!! And he can't help but look up to ya for how you reach your goals. - When you guys finally go on a date, the entire faculty knows how much he likes ya- He's like a puppy and it's so obvious - Anyways... Picnic date is the first thing! He plans on cooking for you, but when you show up with baked goods... Holy shit that's it for him, you're a keeper - You guys have a super cute relationship, but you also definitely help each other. Arven helps you take up for yourself more, and he makes sure that you realize how important you truly are. He's a bit stubborn over you putting yourself first LMAO - You two get into shenanigans, little jokes with other staff... And sometimes it'll make a mess, the staff does find it endearing. You two make sure it's not something that'll actually upset anyone! - Also... He's the same with the 'smart but stupid', Arven is a fuckin' himbo and a half. You know that meme about "If you get your leg cut off, what would hurt?"? That's you guys- - Fluffy hair couple!!! FLUFFY HAIR COUPLE- - Overall, you guys are literally just way too cute! The whole school knows about you two, and you're absolute goals >:) - Btw, Arven loves to fluster you with lil' kisses on the forehead!!
For sw/sh I match ya with...
Sonia!!
I couldn't help but think of two lil' nerds in love, and I think it'd be such a sweet relationship!! Sonia is a sweet but sassy gal, and very smart, so you two would match so well!! - With Sonia having so many books and doing research on Pokemon, you'd be the perfect assistant! Maybe that's how you two meet! - Like at first, you're just a new assistant after Sonia's last one kinda betrayed her, yk yk, but then you guys just get along so well... - And when Hop decides he wants to work with pokemon and starts helping Sonia out too, Sonia sees your caring nature and she's just... Head over heels - Like you're so caring, and smart, and funny and and and... She just can't wrap her head around it. - Sonia does research pokemon, yeah, but that wouldn't stop her from researching the disabilities you have! She'd accommodate your needs so well and find the best solutions! - Your relationship is more co-workers to friends to lovers, so it's something that slowly happens and it's so sweet - Also with Sonia being super fem presenting, she would LOVE to match outfits with you if you ever dress feminine. Or even masculine, she's still got a fashion sense! - She gets you lil' star hairclips to match her heart ones... And that's literally how she asks you out - Whatever date you go on, it's literally the sweetest thing ever. - Sonia is also sweet but with a stubbornness to her, so your energies match in a way! - You guys would work on researching together, just sitting by each other with books but sitting close enough that your arms are touching... - Hop always teases you two, but despite how flustered Sonia gets about it she'll just hold your hand and give you a kiss to drive him off - Also she just loves complimenting you... She truly means her words, but the way your face lights up with blush is. so. CUTE!! - Also her Yamper loves you, it loves sitting in your lap while you do your own research! --- Sorry if the way I wrote Sonia's is different from Arven's, these were written on different days LMAO but ty for the trade! It was super fun and it's been a long while!!
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ggukiepie · 8 months ago
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okayyy haven't done a review in a while so !!! thoughts under the cut (this will be extensive bc this series is all im thinking abt fr)
"You saw him as someone who needs a companion but is too scared, maybe too stubborn to reach out. He looked familiar because he looked like you."
really meant to be bc they met for a reason like jk needs oc and oc needs jk they r meant to help eo get better !!!! this is fate
"“Do you regret the decision you made back then?”
Mr. Ri prolongs the silence. He doesn’t meet your eyes when he answers.
“Everyday.”"
this part got me so confused bc i do not remember mr ri talking abt his past ??? turns out it hasn't been revealed yet so omg !!! super intrigued what this could be...my theory is mr ri chose his career/work over the one he loves dk if this is some type of foreshadowing or what
"Taking a seat next to him, you lay your palm out on the table, gesturing for him to give you his hands to treat."
this whole scene just gave me butterflies like !!! oc has such a big big heart, always trying with jk and she is just so persistent but still in a calm and kind way u know ? like she really tries without being too imposing, she is so understanding and that is what exactly jk needs
"He doesn’t like being that bare and uninhibited, especially in front of you, the only person he doesn’t want to scare away."
so sad to see that jk does not realize oc is here to stay like he's shown all his sides he's tried pushing her away but she keeps trying !!! jk pls open ur eyes i beg
"He realizes now that even on days when he hates himself, you’re the one he wants to be around. Somehow you make that hate a little less than before."
this line floored me like i had to put my phone down and calm my breathing for a bit jungkook is just so hard on himself but even on the days where he feels the worst he still wants to be w oc like ??? it just shows how comfortable he is with her and how much he trusts her to let her see his vulnerable side
the bit where they arrived at the office and she got him his favorite lunch and made him nap (LOL) and when he woke up she fixed his tie and coat and !!!!! the way they listen to eo and take care of each other the best duo out there
the way at the end of the week jk noticed that oc has been trying to cheer him up :( she is indeed so patient with him, jk you are so deserving of love and care despite your demons!
and when they call eo by their first names i get all giddy inside <33
enter namjoon our newest character !!!! ngl i was a bit nervous like if he was gonna sweep oc off her feet (understandable tho) but its actually just a job offer hmmm could this be it
"He takes the helmet and puts it on you, and he laughs again like he did at the Arts Center months ago before riding the vehicle."
crying screaming eating my fist its second nature to him to take care of oc first and make sure she's ok he just put the helmet on her no questions asked !! AND CALLED HER CUTE HELLO
THE WHOLE ATV SCENE where she holds onto his waistttttt and "You reach the end of the road and Jungkook lets you get down first, instructing you to hold his arm for support, before following right after." -- he's just so ??? protective ????
i just love how they banter more now like a lot of teasing - shows how theyre more comfortable w eo !
"A bit more time passes before you both decide to head back. He reaches out his hand which you mindlessly take, your fingers instinctively wrapping around his palm."
ch 10/12 they finally held hands but not really and im dying a little bit inside
the team dinner where he stayed inside and oc stayed with him then they went out together !!!! shes knows him so well and she is very understanding but she also kinda pushes him to be a better person
"...but losing you in any way has become his biggest fear."
immmm cryinggggg oh jk just u wait ! cant wait to see the look on ur face when oc gives her resignation letter :D
"“What’s stopping me?” You pant now, your gaze flitting from his eyes back to his lips, with him doing the same. “The ways of the world. And some… boundary that pulls me back, a line that I don’t know he’s ready to cross for me.”"
crying crying CRYING SOBBING ALL OF THE ABOVE oc finally ready to risk it all (or somewhat, as far as we can tell rn) likeeee she's letting jk know how she kinda feels !!! i feel like with all their stolen glances touches etc subtle ways of caring for eo they've been in this sort of limbo just pining for eo and a lot of yearning (cue jungkook irl: its the...yearning?) but oc said that and bam whole relationship on another level idk if im making sense but ya her feelings have finally been verbalized and made known to jk so there
jk caressing her waist then taking a step back and like withdrawing heheheheheheheeheheh brb imma kms (just kidding) but wow does my heart hurt
anw ya this ch was such a rollercoaster to read it got me crying kicking my feet in the air punching the wall and all that and i know there is more angst to come bc hello its mimi !!!!
but ik it will be rewarding and worth it in the end so im excited to see how the remaining chapters turn out
theory for future chapters: oc will pull away and start acting all professional again, jk will either a) try to win her back but not fully like his tactic of pulling her in but not too close but not pushing her away either orrrrr b) let her be professional and put back his walls, THEN arts center will be finished then oc will hand in her resignation letter then jk will grovel then chase her then happy ending YAY
ANW THATS IT BYEEEE
I Want You to Stay (10) | JJK
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Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; mentions of childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, attempted assault; mention of implied of domestic violence (PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; eventual explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)
Chapter Word count: 20.6k
Series Masterlist
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Status: Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist 🎶: on the way home
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A/N: Hiii we're close to the end! I've been enjoying this journey with all of you; thank you for being patient, and again for all your love and appreciation for this story. 🥰 Updates will continue to take longer as I continue to work and study. On another note, pls savour this! Hehe
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight  🥰
PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!
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The weekend after your site visits passes by excruciatingly slowly. 
You zone out while watching your variety shows the rest of Saturday. On Sunday, you do errands and clean your apartment. Whether you’re lying on the couch or moving about, you find yourself constantly stopping, wondering how Jungkook is doing. 
You could say that the trip ended on a good note. The drive back home had you sharing both the silence and conversations about growing up with your friends and finding refuge in your favorite places. He was smiling as you narrated your stories and while he told his. He was engaged most of the time, drifting away for only some short moments before coming back to you. 
There was a different emotion in his eyes when you said your goodbye after he dropped you off, though. You could see gratitude in them but also sadness, as if the memories from the night before and from 20 years ago lingered. You know enough about that, too. Good memories can override bad ones sometimes, but in some cases, they only do so for a while, and they can only do so much. 
The image of him of looking afraid from that Friday night is etched in your mind. The way he heaved, how he gripped your wrists as if in desperation for the sounds to stop, and the emptiness in his eyes as the thunder continued to roar keep you up at night.
You felt so constrained at that moment. There wasn’t much you could do that would be appropriate, but it doesn’t mean that you didn’t wish you could’ve done something more to comfort him, to tell him that no matter how scared he was, he wasn’t alone. That night and the morning after, you saw the most human side of Jungkook - the one that buries a lot of memories, that deals with pain and loneliness, the part that’s fearful of others seeing him stripped bare, that cowers in his own corner until the storm has passed. You saw him as someone who needs a companion but is too scared, maybe too stubborn to reach out. He looked familiar because he looked like you. 
All you could do was hold him in any way, protect him from the monsters outside and maybe within, and show him that whatever hurt, gentleness could make it hurt less; hopefully it could slowly heal the ache, too. 
That’s what you learned all these years - all the fear and pain you experienced as a child slowly turned into scars because of your mother’s grace and your best friends’ kindness. You don’t know who gives any of that to Jungkook, and you hoped that during that moment, you were able to give even just a fraction of what you received. 
Even if he kept his distance, you stayed close because you knew that that’s when he needed you the most. And you won’t ever forget the way his eyes softened during that ride home; you won’t forget the smile tinged with apology and gratitude that accompanied the silence. You knew it was his way of expressing emotions he couldn’t verbalize and you could only wish that he knew that you accept them, that you understand. 
You stop yourself from sending him messages a few times, not wanting to invade his space if he prefers to be alone. Maybe he’s figured out a way to cope. Maybe he’s moved on from the incident and wants to just forget about it. Regardless, the last thing you want is to push him away by being too close, so you do the hard thing and wait for the start of the week to see him again.
You enter the car that Monday morning with Mr. Ri’s soft eyes greeting you. You ask if he’s feeling better and he says he is, expressing his disappointment at not being there to drive you and Jungkook last week. 
“How was he?” He asks, knowing that the weather was pretty bad.
“He wasn’t good,” you answer dejectedly. “I think he had a nightmare. I had to calm him down. And he… he told me what happened at that cabin when he was young. I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“It was. He was just a kid. He was only excited about the trip because he thought his parents were joining him and his brother,” the elder man says. “And well, that was when they had to be separated for safety reasons. Then that incident happened. I think he’s carried that resentment towards them ever since.”
“Were you there?” 
“I was the one who found him,” Mr. Ri answers, baring his own pain at having witnessed a young Jungkook being so scared. “I noticed he was missing and I searched for over an hour. It was a big area and the ground was wet and I couldn’t hear him because of the rain. When I finally found him, I carried him back and stayed with him until he woke up. He was so frightened and he… he wasn’t the same after. There was this constant fear and this desire to just be left on his own.”
You force the scene of a young Jungkook yelling for someone under the rain out of your mind. Perhaps the detachment in his eyes that you always see is a remnant from that time when he’d felt so helpless and alone. You don’t know how someone can carry that with them for 20 years. You don’t know how someone heals from that either.
“I know he’s not your responsibility, ___. You’ve done so much for him already,” Mr. Ri continues in your silence. “But no one has shown him kindness the way you have and he's learned to accept that now. He needs it the most during those times. If it’s not too much, I hope you can continue doing that.”
“I intend to,” you respond. It had been natural for you to be gentle, to be patient, and reluctant he may have been at the start, you know your persistence helped him as well. “He’s done so much for me and I don’t think I’ll ever get to thank him for that.”
“Is that why, then?” He wonders. “Is all this just to repay him for the times he was there for you? Or is there another reason?”
You meet his eyes in the rear view mirror and the sullen, almost guilty look in yours tells him that there's more. When you look away, he learns it’s something you don’t want to accept, something you don’t want to acknowledge. 
“It’s okay, you know?” He says, as if he knows exactly what you’re thinking and maybe he does. “We can’t help what we feel sometimes.”
“It doesn’t mean it’s right.”
“It doesn’t mean it’s always wrong.”
“You know it’s not that simple,” you sigh. 
“I know it isn’t. But I just think that being honest about what you feel helps. It may not be easy but you owe it to yourself to find the happiness you deserve.”
“But I don’t know what that looks like.”
“You do,” he insists. “Maybe you’re just scared of what chasing it would mean. But if you allow yourself to truly feel what you feel, then it would be clear what you’d need to do. Just remember that whatever decision you make, you’re gonna have to stand by it, okay? You can’t regret any of it.”
You let his words settle, knowing that they come from a place of pain. But still, you ask a question you’ve been meaning to for a while now.
“Do you regret the decision you made back then?”
Mr. Ri prolongs the silence. He doesn’t meet your eyes when he answers.
“Everyday.”
Your heart breaks for him. You know what he did all those years ago, and knowing that it continues to haunt him pains you. You don’t want that burden. You don’t want one decision to determine how the rest of your life is gonna go with no way to make up for it. You suppose that’s what will happen to you, but you’ve got time to change all that. Maybe you just need the courage to do it.
“The debt I owed kept me from chasing my happiness,” he continues. “You’ve paid yours so don’t let it stop you. You just have to be brave enough for it.”
You nod, meeting his eyes through the mirror this time in understanding and gratitude, letting his words comfort you as you exit the car. 
You walk towards Jungkook’s penthouse in anticipation, as the worry of how he’s been creeps in again. The moment you enter, you get your answer, as you hear the sound of leather hitting leather, the loudest it’s ever been. You could hear him heaving, almost breathless with every movement, but he grunts in between, and you hear the frustration in his every breath. 
From your position in the kitchen, you can see him in the far right corner of his gym, throwing one punch after another, his face wincing in pain, his body gradually giving in as he slows down. He hugs the punching bag with one arm while his free hand continues to jab at it until eventually, that stops, too. He releases it then spreads his body out on the floor as he tries to catch his breath now. You can feel his exhaustion; there’s desperation, too.
He stays there for a while, and you wonder if he’s releasing whatever negative emotions he’s had these past days just now, or if this is what he’s been doing everyday since he got back. 
He sits up, and you look away the moment he glances at your direction. He heads your way, nods at you in acknowledgment, then gulps down the energy drink that he takes from the fridge. His drenched white shirt sticks to his body, but it’s his bruised knuckles that catch your attention. You don’t know if these wounds are from this morning or from the days before but regardless, he acts as if they’re not there. You doubt if he even feels them sting.
Perhaps this is how he copes with anything - tiring himself out, expending all his energy until he’s numb, releasing his emotions in a way that doesn’t require him to be honest or to even say anything. Maybe this is how he accepts; maybe it’s how he moves on and forgets.
He drags himself towards his bedroom then you make your way to his closet to prepare his clothes. You return to the kitchen soon after and decide to make some fried rice. It’s the one dish you make that might make a difference to his mood this morning, so you get to work and cook with what you can, deciding that it’s definitely one of the most delicious ones you’ve ever made.
He finishes his morning routine later than usual. When you walk towards him to fix his tie, you try to hold his gaze, wanting to tell him in your own way that you’re there if he ever wants to talk, but he only glances at you before looking away. You’re unsure of the cause of his somber disposition but the sadness in his eyes causes a crack in your heart. It’s different, you think, and you don’t know how else you can comfort him.
“I made some fried rice,” you tell him as you walk to the dining table. 
He follows, taking his seat then quietly eating his meal as you go through his schedule. He merely hums and doesn’t ask questions, only speaking up when you bring up last week’s site visits, with him saying that there’s no rush for that, and that you’ll talk about it some other time. It’s what tells you that what happened last Friday isn’t something he’s really gotten over. Maybe there are still remnants from that night - of fear, of discomfort; perhaps a bit of shame. And you don’t blame him. They’re what you felt after the incident at the restaurant and after your injury. Being helpless in front of someone is confronting; there’s so much of yourself that gets exposed, and you suppose it’s not something that Jungkook is used to.
You share in the silence, glancing at him to see if what you’ve prepared is affecting him in any way, and you don’t miss the subtle satisfied look he makes once he finishes his meal. It’s what prompts you to push it a little. You stand up, take an ice pack from the fridge, then retrieve the first-aid kit from the drawer. Taking a seat next to him, you lay your palm out on the table, gesturing for him to give you his hands to treat.
“There’s no need,” he says, turning away again.
“I let you push my wheelchair,” you remind him. “And I let you dress my foot.”
“You were injured.”
“And you have gashes on your hands,” you point out. “Which means you’re wounded and you can’t leave those exposed. So please, would you let me do this for you?”
There’s a hint of desperation in your voice, as if all you want is for him to give in and let you help him. You’ve been trying to meet his eyes since you arrived and he’s been the coward who avoids it every time. But the last thing he wants is for you to think that he wants to push you away because he doesn’t; he just doesn’t know how to act around you after what happened last Friday. It may have ended with your unspoken forgiveness and your smile telling him that he’ll be alright, that you’ll be alright, but the past days haven’t been good to him.
In an effort to show you that he’s not angry, he moves his hand towards yours ever so slightly. He doesn’t look at you when you take his left hand and put it over your palm, but he does feel his heart skip a beat at your touch. You place the ice pack over his knuckles, then you move it over to his other hand so you can put antiseptic cream on the one that’s free.
You’re so gentle with him even when tending to his wounds. But that shouldn’t come as a surprise, especially now, as he sees you make an effort in letting him know that everything’s okay and that you’re around in case he needs anything.
The thing is, he doesn’t know what he needs right now. After last week’s incident when he blamed you for not checking the weather, he felt ashamed. He’d apologized for how he used to treat you right before that, and then he went ahead and did all that again over a fear of his that he couldn’t get over, one that came to light that night. 
You saw it all - that part of him that he despises, that he keeps hidden, that he’s burdened by.
That was another thing - you were the one who woke him up and kept him steady. Perhaps it was a nightmare he was having,  but it’s also always been the way his body reacted to the rain and the thunder because of what happened when he was a child. But you saw him bare and terrified, a side of him he wasn’t sure you’d want to see or be around for. You saw him weak and helpless, things he never wants to be in front of other people. You experienced him being honest and not in control, and that made him feel unguarded.
You held him steady though, grounding him when he was slowly losing himself to the fear. Your hands on his head kept him in the present, pulling him back when his mind would travel to that fateful rainy evening in the woods. Your calm and soft voice sounded like a lullaby to him, fighting away the loud sounds that have haunted him for years. It soothed parts of him that were hurting, and you’d done it so naturally, so easily. 
It’s what prompted him to share with you the memory he just can’t erase. And you told him that he could call you when it happened again so you can both replace the bad memories with good ones. Maybe you want him to be brave; he thinks that’s not something that he is. 
Maybe that’s why he’s been this way since he got home that day. There’s a lot of emotion he doesn’t know how to express nor even properly name. He’s sure they’re negative though, and somehow that makes him even more ashamed. He doesn’t like not being in control. He doesn’t like being that bare and uninhibited, especially in front of you, the only person he doesn’t want to scare away. 
He spent the entire weekend boxing and running around the Han River parks in hopes that all the tiredness would help keep his mind off things. But somehow, it always ended up thinking of you. It wanted to hear your voice once more; it wanted your touch.
He has them again today and he feels undeserving. Yet you’re here, healing his physical wounds and everything else that’s hurting within in the ways only you know how to. And he just wants to pull you close. He realizes now that even on days when he hates himself, you’re the one he wants to be around. Somehow you make that hate a little less than before. 
“All done,” you say after placing the fabric bandage on his knuckles. “Minimal movements, okay? And ice them when you can in case something’s swollen.”
“I will,” he says softly, retrieving his hand and feeling your touch still linger, knowing he wants more of it.
You proceed to discuss some events he needs to attend all the way to the office with no mentions of how either of your weekends went. He wonders how you spent yours, hoping it was better than his. He wonders, too, if you thought about him the way he thought about you. But you seem focused on work matters for today, perhaps thinking he doesn’t want to talk about anything else. And you wouldn’t be wrong. 
He gets to his room where he sighs in relief once he sits on his desk chair. It’s now that he feels the soreness and fatigue, as all he wants is to go home and lay in bed for the rest of the day. But he can’t afford that, so he pushes on, surviving a morning meeting and slowly going through each of his emails. He’s surprised when you serve him his favorite beef brisket for lunch, and your soft smile as he thanks you is his bright spot for the rest of the afternoon. 
He powers through reviewing documents right after but his eyes start falling, prompting him to just lean back on his chair for a good few seconds before getting back to work. You knock on the door not long after, and then you place a cup of chamomile tea on his desk.
“I need about five espresso shots, Ms. Cho, not this,” he sighs, the tiredness in his voice evident. But you don’t seem taken aback by his words.
“I disagree, sir,” you reply. “This is to help you calm down. There’s also a couch right there. There’s a reason why it’s big and comfortable.”
He picks up on what you’re suggesting, and he shakes his head in response. 
“I’m not gonna sleep here.”
“No one will know,” you shrug. “But you know it’s okay, right? I can’t imagine how tired you must be. You’re not Superman, Mr. Jeon. Plus, Mr. Jung would take naps here after long nights or during hectic days. It’s normal. And it might just be what you need.”
“I’ll decide what I need, Ms. Cho,” he says defensively. “I wouldn’t want my staff sleeping on the job so why should I?”
Jungkook regrets the words right as he says them, especially when he sees your face fall the tiniest bit. But you recover, saying that you understand then turning to head out. But you fix the pillow on the couch and place the blanket on the armrest before leaving, and he knows that your stubbornness is often a reflection of how you care. 
So he takes a sip of the tea and eventually finishes it, indulging you in this way, but given the morning he’s had, his body gives in. He decides, like you said, that he needs a nap, and he doesn’t miss the victorious smile on your face that he sees from inside when he calls to instruct you not to disturb him for the next half hour. 
With the dim lights and air purifier, he falls asleep right as his body hits the couch. When he wakes up 30 minutes later, he feels infinitely better; now he can focus and be productive.
You see the lights turn back on from outside and it’s your signal that he’s woken up from his nap. You wait a while before asking to enter his room to say that his father requested a meeting due to start in an hour. Jungkook’s putting his coat back on and you walk towards him to help.
“Was it good?” You ask, fixing the creases and aligning his necktie.
“Yeah,” he hums, not meeting your eyes again. “You were right, I needed that. And the couch really is comfortable.”
“That’s good. You should listen to your assistant more often,” you tease. 
“I really should,” he smiles now, soft and reserved. “But I do feel better. Thank you.”
You exit his room and feel accomplished. You believe, like what others have told you, that showing him a bit of gentleness will prompt him to be a little gentler to himself, too. He works too hard sometimes, and taking a break when he needs it is one thing, but of course, it’s not everything.
The rest of the week goes by fairly similarly. Jungkook always looks tired, and it makes you wonder if he’s able to sleep properly at night or if he just overexerts himself during his morning workouts. He’s quiet when you’re not discussing work matters, making you miss your casual conversations. And though he acknowledges your occasional teasing remark, he doesn’t tease back like he’s been doing recently. 
He has his moments of frustration but he’s mostly serious when you glance at him. He’s less engaging, too, and you suppose that’s what bothers you the most, as you realize that you enjoy talking with him, you enjoy getting to know him through your exchanges, allowing you a peek into his world that you know is reserved for very, very few people. 
You suppose that whatever he’s dealing with is something he wants to go through on his own. Accepting your fears is one thing; accepting that you exposed all those to someone else is another. It’s why you try, in your own ways, to lift his spirits, wanting to let him know that he has nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to you. 
You get him lunch from his favorite restaurants everyday, you add sweets to his servings of coffee or chocolate milk, you smile at him more, encourage him frequently, and during the times when he seems distant, you don’t completely move away. You reach out just a little bit, hoping that he’ll know that you’re around even when he doesn’t feel much like himself. You don’t want to match his detachment with your own.
It seems that you got your point across. On Friday, he dismisses you after he insists that he wants to stay back to work on a few things.
“___,” he calls out as you’re about to exit his room. “Thank you for being patient with me this week. I… I needed that.”
You turn around and Jungkook doesn’t shy away from meeting your eyes this time. He’s noticed you try to hold his gaze all week; you always lingered, too. Maybe it’s your way of comforting him or saying that you understand him. He felt both of those but he couldn’t find it in him to acknowledge them. There was a lot on his mind as he dealt with the frustration and shame of what happened, of how exposed and unguarded he was in front of you.
But you didn’t complain; you didn’t push him to engage or share anything. Even his moments of frustration were met with kindness and his silence was received with assurance. You tried to cheer him up in whatever way you could, and he could feel you just giving him time to be on his own. 
He hopes he didn’t push you away. There were so many times when he just wanted you around so he could see more of your smile and hear the calmness of your voice; those always made him feel better. Whatever fears he had about how you would think of him after the incident have dissipated, as you look softly at him in understanding. He doesn’t need to say anything more, as you seem to know exactly what he means because this whole time, you seemed to also know exactly what he needed.
“I hope you’re feeling better, Jungkook,” you smile. “I’ll see you on Monday.”
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Jungkook returns to his usual self the week after. He says he went to one of their properties in Gwangju over the weekend where the weather was good and the long drive helped him stay focused and rejuvenated. He doesn’t say much of what he’s feeling and you expect that, but you’re glad his little trip gave him some peace somehow. 
You, on the other hand, were left to deal with your growing feelings for him while downplaying them to your best friends. They came over for their regular visit on Saturday and while they were sympathetic with Jungkook over what happened, they still reminded you to be cautious. Once you cross a line, there’s no going back, and once you fully admit to what you feel, you can’t unfeel it; not acting on it becomes too hard and in your case, complicated.
The week is like any other but with much anticipation, given the upcoming annual team building that everyone’s excited about. This is one of the things that the support team was worried wouldn’t happen under Jungkook’s leadership, but you assured them early on that it was mandatory. And with him having loosened up and feeling more comfortable around them, you have high hopes that he’ll enjoy it as much as everyone will. 
It’s why on that Saturday, you find yourself in the mall to buy the things that you’ll be needing for those three days that you’ll be spending in one of the Jeon properties in Gangwon. The venue changes every year and the villas by the lake are perfect for spring this time. Your shopping list includes all the materials for the activities and some other things Jungkook requested, like a certain book that he doesn’t have time to buy.
You enter a bookstore and as you try to find what you’re looking for, something else catches your eye. You may love the library for the space more than the books, but there will always be those that pull you in and make you curious. Even if you only read picture books when you were younger, there were a few short stories and poems that piqued your interest. You never finished them but you did manage to get through several pages.
The one right in front of you - with its pastel colored cover and simple yet intriguing design - feels like one of those. To your delight, it’s a short story collection, and your smile is immediate as you go through the pages, with each story being accompanied by illustrations that feel so personal. This would be a nice read while you’re lounging at the villa’s deck or even on your balcony, you think.
Another book catches your attention. The title is familiar, and you realize it’s one of the classics that you were required to read in high school. It has a new cover, and you see that it’s a new edition to celebrate its 30th year. You go through the pages as well, thinking back to when you had to force yourself to finish this some 15 years ago. It looks more fresh now, and definitely more enticing.
“Did you find what you’re looking for?”
You look up to find a tall man with deep-set eyes as the owner of the voice who’d interrupted your moment of book appreciation. 
“I’m okay,” you dismiss him. “I don’t need assistance.”
You politely smile then return the books in their respective spots, ready to head out and search for what you came here to buy. 
“Are you not going to get those?” The man presses. “You seemed to be interested in them and—”
“Were you watching me?” You ask, taken aback.
“Uh, no. I mean, not in the way you think,” he answers in panic, seemingly nervous at how it looks. “I wasn’t being creepy or anything I just… I…”
“Do you even work here?” You interrogate him, your alarm bells ringing at this man’s odd behavior and the absence of a nameplate that the other staff have on.
“I actually work for the company that published those books,” he says, his head down as if in embarrassment. “And we just put those out this week and I’m checking around to see people’s reaction and I realize now that it’s incredibly foolish of me to stand around and observe customers because it’s not only creepy, it’s also terribly disrespectful. I’m so sorry.”
There’s guilt in his eyes and it’s something you can recognize. You decide he’s being sincere and engage him a little.
“So… you work at Rkive Publishing?” You ask as you glance at the books. “As what?”
“I’m an editor, actually,” he answers, revealing his shy smile and dimples. “I’ve spent months on these books and thought, what better way to know people’s impression than to see them for myself? It seemed better in my head. I guess I wasn’t being subtle.”
“No, not really. I was kinda having a moment but then you popped out of nowhere,” you say, laughing to ease the tension. “But uh, the covers are stunning. I liked the personal touch of the short story collection and this classic looks a lot more interesting than I remember.”
“That’s uh, that’s good,” he grins, mostly to himself. “Our production team did really well in putting them together and to see the final products is incredibly satisfying, even more so when customers feel the same.”
“I don’t really read books but these just caught my eye. It’s a good way to pull people in,” you admit. 
“That’s nice to know,” he smiles again. “I feel pretty fulfilled just knowing they got your attention. Even if you won’t buy them.”
He doesn’t seem like he’s guilt-tripping you but he still apologizes for how it sounds. 
“I just… feel really strongly about how these pieces connect with people, even if it’s fleeting,” the man continues. “I just got over excited but thank you for not shunning me away.”
“I don’t think connections are fleeting, though,” you remark, surprising him and even yourself. “Even if it’s a thought or a memory or an impression… they stay with you in one way or another. I mean, every time I enter a bookstore, I’ll probably think about those covers and remember these books and maybe the excitement I felt. That’s still something, isn’t it?”
There’s appreciation in the man’s eyes as he takes in your words. 
You may not be a book nerd nor an artsy person but you’ve been more introspective lately about the things around you. You don’t know if it’s the desperation to relate with anything and everything but if there’s one thing that working on the Arts Center has pushed you to do, it’s that pursuit of connection - with your surroundings, with people, and with yourself. You suppose that’s where all this is coming from, and the stranger in front of you whom you’re somehow connecting with right now understands that. 
“It is something,” he flashes a smile again, the joy in it radiating and softening his very manly features. “That’s very reassuring, thank you.”
He steps aside and nods, perhaps giving you the space that he thinks he invaded, which in hindsight, you’re glad he did.
You bow in acknowledgment and head towards another aisle to look for that leadership book that Jungkook asked you to get. You immediately find it then make your way home, all the while thinking about your earlier encounter and how the briefest conversations can make you reflect about things and as you learn, lead you down a path you didn’t expect.
To appease your curiosity, you research about Rkive Publishing and learn that it’s a ten-year old company that works with up-and-coming local authors. It has also taken on special projects such as publishing classics for their milestone releases and some translated works. The man you met, who happens to be the editorial director, is a poet as well but apparently finds as much happiness in putting pieces out for people to enjoy as he does in writing them himself. He doesn’t seem that much older than you but he’s seen the world and in the eyes of an artist, you can’t imagine how beautiful and heartbreaking that must be.
You go down a rabbit hole of reading some of his poems and even some interviews he’d done when he set up the company years ago. You learn that he loves to write about the complexity of relationships, the fragility of human emotions, and the search for permanence in an impermanent world. 
His words are captivating. You want to pick apart his brain to know more about what he thinks about humans’ need for connection despite our fear of them. You want to know what makes love the way it is, why it creates and sustains and ruins those who feel and have them. You want to know if he thinks that each person is capable of love, if that’s what makes us human, or if our humanness derives from the inadequacy of love - of what we give and what we receive. 
You read a bit more about the books they’ve published and the authors they’ve worked with over the years. It’s midnight by the time you finish, and other than deciding that you’ll go back tomorrow to buy that short story book collection, one other thing fills your mind - the thought that there’s a reason for that encounter earlier, and it’s probably to lead you to finding this company and the production officer position that happens to be currently vacant. 
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The soft eyes that greet you from across the table where the books are placed is a welcome sight this time. The man from yesterday flashes you a shy smile and you greet him with your own.
“I didn’t expect to see you so soon but I’m glad that you’re here,” he says as he approaches you.
You raise the book you intend to buy. “Connections aren’t fleeting,” you remind him. “I couldn’t really stop thinking about this since yesterday. And uh, curiosity got to me and I looked up Rkive Publishing. You’re doing great work. I read that you’re working on translations of several books, too.”
His eyes light up as he talks about wanting to attract a wider audience, given the increasing interest in Korean culture. The story of your people appeals to many because it’s shared, and he says that’s one beauty of art in whatever form - the meanings are endless, and they weave together to form something enduring and constant. That’s what he and his mother hoped for the company when they founded it a decade ago, he narrates, and he has the tough task of creating that avenue for such art to affect more people without diluting its meaning.
“I’m sorry, I’m rambling again,” he shakes his head. “I just get so… yeah. I’ve just never met a buyer who actually searched us up after seeing our books on the shelf. I’m trying to engage more people. Our sales team said that’s one way to establish our presence.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” you assure him. “I may not be as passionate about anything as you but I understand feeling strongly about something. And if I’m being honest… there’s another thing that caught my eye about your company.”
“What is it?”
“You have an opening for the production officer position. I… I was impressed and looked up career options.”
“Ah, so you’re interested then?” He asks excitedly. 
“I am. Although I don’t have any experience in publishing or anything related to books or literature for that matter.”
“Relevant experience is the qualification,” he hums. “I’d ask more but I can do so during the interview. What do you say?”
“That’s if I’ll make the shortlist,” you laugh. “Although I suppose my executive assistant experience is relevant enough.”
“Oh, it definitely is. That is no easy task.”
“Well, I hope meeting you like this won’t make any future application inappropriate,” you say. 
“Not at all. That position has been vacant for a while. And we’re looking for two. It’s not always the role that those in the industry go for. I suppose it’s made for those looking for a career change,” he playfully winks. “But seriously though, think of this encounter as part of the process. You’ve done your research about us anyway, which kind of means you’re already a step ahead. It’s only a matter of actually applying, which I hope you do.”
“It’s an option,” you hum. “This wasn’t something I initially considered but it’s amazing how certain moments shape our decisions, isn’t it? I mean, they’re not really fleeting.”
“Of course,” he nods, thinking back to your comment from yesterday. “It’s all about being open, so please think about it. I may not know anything about your credentials but talking with you has already given me insight into what you think about our work and the power of stories. And that’s very important to me.”
“I still have a lot going on but I’ll definitely keep you in mind. I hope the position is still open when the time comes.”
“If it’s meant to be then it will be,” he assures you. “I’m Namjoon, by the way.”
“I know,” you giggle, taking the business card that he hands out. “And I’m ___. I’ll see you around.”
His smile is the last thing you see before you head out the store with your purchased book in hand. And as you lay in bed that night, the possibilities of taking on a new journey play in your mind. 
There’s the connection to the good memories of your childhood and the unloading of the burdens you carry. There’s being around people you’re not tied or indebted to and there’s forging your own way towards a path that you deliberately chose.
But there’s also Jungkook, whom you can’t stop thinking about and who happens to be a hindrance when it comes to pursuing your own goals in life. Those goals include happiness and freedom even if ironically, those are the things he also gives you. There’s the new emotions he makes you feel, the connection you can’t deny you have with him, and the desire that constantly eats you up inside. 
You’ve always had your feet inside your walls with your hand on the door, just waiting for the courage to finally step out. The only thing stopping you is Jungkook and all the other possibilities with him. They may remain unrealized but they’re there. You just hope that one day you’ll convince yourself that walking away from him was exactly the thing you had to do.
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You watch in awe as Yohan loads the last crate of food in the rented van you’ll be using for this weekend’s team building in some lakeside property in Gangwon. The trunk is filled with all sorts of meat and vegetables, chips, and alcohol that seem to be good for a tribe of more than 10, way more than your team of seven.
“You do know we’re only there for three days, right?” You remind the younger man. “I don’t think we eat this much.”
“Don’t you know Do-hyun?” Yohan says. “She’s half my size but she eats twice as much as I do. And I eat a lot. Plus, the guy she was seeing ghosted her so she’s probably gonna eat even more. Heartbreak shit, you know?”
“I don’t,” you chuckle, although you can’t help but feel bad again for Do-hyun whom you had to comfort not long ago because of her boy problems. “But are you sure these are all within budget?”
“Yes. Chin-sun is a master at bargaining. And, because we’re such a good team, Mr. Min and Mr. Jung gave us some of their favorite liquor,” Yohan hums satisfyingly. “Those smell expensive. So yeah, we didn’t have to spend much on alcohol since Mr. Jeon brought some, too, which is why we got to buy all this food.”
“Fine, but we can’t have drunken shenanigans, okay? I don’t have the energy to babysit you guys. And Mr. Jeon is no weakling; he’ll be awake to see you misbehave if you do.”
“We’ll go as far as incredibly out-of-tune karaoke singing, we promise,” Yohan laughs, learning his lesson after last year’s midnight swim in the freezing cold river where he almost got swept away. 
Hoseok was thankfully passed out and did not witness the almost-emergency. You had to remind your team that though you’ll be going on a team-building - which is really just an excuse for the staff to eat and drink in some scenic venue - there are still rules in place, and it would be best not to give Jungkook any problem, given the progress that you’ve all made.
You enter the car then leave the office - your meet up place - to take the long drive to your destination. You just got the message from Mr. Ri that they’re almost there; they left much earlier so that Jungkook could make it to a virtual meeting with Hoseok and his father. 
The ride starts off peaceful, as everyone is still slowly waking up. Halfway through, it becomes chaotic, with Do-hyun and Yohan arguing about who’ll be on cleaning duties on which days as the youngest ones on the team. You laugh along, knowing you’ll end up helping them anyway, but you look out the window and wonder how Jungkook is doing.
He’s been incredibly busy leading to today, with several site visits to the Arts Center and meetings with the project teams multiple times the past two weeks. He’s been staying late in the office, too, and working on the weekends. You know, because you get the odd-hour emails and find portfolios on your desk in the morning. Despite the work that he still has to squeeze in during this weekend, you hope he gets a bit of rest. More than that, you hope he finds time to be with the team and bond with them. Only you know this may be your last, and you want to keep the memories of these three days and make sure they’re good ones.
You arrive at the place and look around, amazed at every corner and every space you set your eyes on. You know that the Jeon family has dozens of properties in scenic locations that they escape to or put out for rent. This lakeside estate is one of a few you haven’t been to yet, and there’s a reason why Jungkook wanted this to be your venue this year. It’s spacious with lots of things to do and the view is absolutely stunning. Lush mountains frame the sparkling body of water, and with the breeze of spring, it’s every bit relaxing as you hoped. 
It’s quiet as the rest of the team walks around in awe. The main house boasts of a large kitchen and living space and it’s surrounded by four two-bedroom villas with their own decks. You, Chin-sun, and Do-hyun head to one while Yohan and Manager Lee head to another. You give yourselves half an hour to fix up before reconvening and when you do, you immediately smile upon seeing Jungkook already waiting. 
He greets the team, formally welcomes you all, then talks about the property and all its amenities. He discusses what’s in store for these next three days, then he proceeds with the first activity, which is really the only work-related thing you’re all required to do. 
Jungkook facilitates the session, and he starts by asking everyone to reflect on all the gains and challenges this past year. He instructs each of you to share your team highs and lows, what enabled you to achieve the successes and overcome the difficulties, what caused you the most stress, and what you’re most thankful for. Every answer is met with confirming nods and statements, and it seems that everyone is on the same page about how the year went. 
The session highlights your team dynamics - you’re all very encouraging of each other, but it doesn’t stop the young ones from bickering and teasing the rest of you. It’s fun though, as you end the hour with laughter and more memories to take with you. You glance at Jungkook who seems satisfied with every response; you hope he’s proud of how he managed everything, too, and you make sure you mention it during your turn. The smile he makes when everyone agrees warms your heart in a way you don’t expect, even more so when he holds your gaze when he thanks the team in return.
You’re rewarded with a hearty lunch an hour later, and not long after, you find yourselves near the deck of the lake, discussing how to spend your two hours of free time before the next activity.
Chin-sun and Manager Lee decide on just laying on the lounge chairs to soak up the sun. Yohan gets on a jet-ski while Do-hyun flounders about in the lake. Sipping your beer, you lean on one of the tables and savor the fresh air. 
There’s not much of this in the city, and the silence - save for the young ones’ laughter in the background - is definitely worth the long ride and the backlog you’ll be having once the weekend is over. You’re not really one to stay outdoors. You’d much rather stay inside, under the covers where you could watch movies or variety shows. That was always how you preserved your peace. Being outside always intimidated you, and you think now it’s probably because you just haven’t seen that many beautiful views like this in your life. If this is what’s outside your window everyday, you’d probably be out all the time. 
“___, are you just gonna stay there? The water’s amazing,” Do-hyun whines as she approaches you. “Or sunbathe if you don’t want to get wet. Just get out there.”
“I’m content just watching you enjoy yourselves,” you say. “I can see the view just fine from here.”
“It’s much better up close,” she counters, standing next to you now. “Come on, this is your time to let loose since you have the permission to do so. Mr. Jeon isn’t gonna be a killjoy and watch your every move, you know? If he will, then I will…”
“You will what?” You laugh.
“I will tell him he’s being a killjoy. How often can we be in a place as beautiful as this?”
“Do-hyun’s right,” Jungkook says as he appears to your left, catching both of you off guard and prompting Do-hyun to sweetly smile at him. He’s in shorts and a loose long-sleeve shirt, perhaps ready to enjoy the outdoors as well. “The place is too beautiful for you to just sit back and watch.”
“And what will you do?” You raise an eyebrow at him.
“Sit back and watch,” he shrugs, earning him a laugh from you and Do-hyun. “And enjoy my beer. That’s how I relax.”
“Please don’t be boring,” Do-hyun pouts at him, embracing that little sister energy that you’ve all come to love. “You should know, Mr. Jeon, Yohan is being all cocky, saying that he’s the best jet ski rider among all of us here. I have a feeling that he’s wrong, so please show him who’s boss. I mean, you are, obviously. But, you know what I mean.”
“I think I do,” Jungkook chuckles, putting down his drink and looking out into the lake. “But sure. I haven’t ridden one in a while but let’s see how I go.”
Jungkook walks towards the water then unknots the other jet ski. He removes his shirt and wears the life vest before riding towards where Yohan is. The view of him half-naked triggers memories of all the times you’ve seen him like that, times when you’d look away and keep yourself from thinking inappropriate thoughts. It’s no different this time, but somehow, it’s much harder to keep your heart from racing this fast.
“Holy fuck,” Do-hyun gasps next to you. “Please don’t report me but shit, ___. Whoever’s doing Mr. Jeon is one lucky woman. I mean, look at that. And who knew he had a full sleeve of tattoo? That is so freaking hot.”
From your periphery, you could see her shocked face but you merely hum in response. You don’t want to get carried away by your own expletives because there really aren’t enough curses in the dictionary when it comes to describing Jungkook’s body. 
“You don’t seem surprised,” she looks at you curiously. “And you’re not affected. You’ve seen it before, haven’t you?”
“Of course I have. I’m with him everyday,” you say nonchalantly. 
“In clothes, I would assume.”
“He works out every morning and he’s in sleeveless tops sometimes,” you clarify. “Obviously I’ve seen his arm.”
She furrows her brows as if she doesn’t believe you, even if you’re telling the truth. There are just other parts of that story that you don’t want to share.
“Hmm, fair enough,” she gives in. “But I’d probably be constantly flustered or even crushing on him if I were you. So how have you managed being around him and not being attracted all this time knowing he looks like that?”
You’re forced to look at Do-hyun, as you try to find the words to say, when she answers her own question.
“Right, he can be quite detached and too serious and he’s a playboy and—”
“You also forget that I am his assistant and he is my boss,” you remind her. “Thoughts like that—”
“Are perfectly normal,” she interjects. “And totally understandable. He’s a hot bachelor, ____. I wouldn’t be able to function professionally if I were in your shoes. Which is why it’s great that I’m here and you’re the one in that position.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I might lose this job if I lose my shit every time because my boss is so hot,” she reasons. “And it’s not just me. I’ve seen the female staff lose their cool around him just because he spoke to them or looked their way. It’s kind of embarrassing. But I guess the broody, asshole-y vibes add to that. And then there’s you who’s in his apartment every morning and heavens know what you’ve seen or heard since we all know that the rumors about his dating life are true and you seem fine and totally unbothered.”
You want to laugh at how completely off Do-hyun is with her observations. Sure, you tried to be cool about it at the beginning and you mostly succeeded in being calm whenever you came close or saw any part of his body exposed. 
But somewhere along the way, things changed. When you saw the layers underneath, he wasn’t just attractive physically; he was suddenly so much more. That somehow made it harder but it also made all the restraint worth it. But that’s not something you want to divulge to Do-hyun. No matter how difficult, you know you need to keep yourself together and stop the feelings from going any deeper. 
“Well, just like you, I can’t lose my job and I will if I let it affect me,” you say. “But if I may say so… there’s definitely more to the broody, serious man we met almost a year ago.”
“Hmm, I guess that’s true. He’s definitely more thoughtful than I expected. Maybe a little funny, too. But that’s really all I know. He just seems too reserved, you know? Seeing him do something like ride a jet ski or laugh with us feels like such a luxury for a man like him,” Do-hyun adds. “It must be hard to get to know him beyond all this. I know it sure is hard to love someone like that.”
You know that Do-hyun’s merely projecting. The recent guy she was seeing was a lot more shy and private than the ones she’s dated before. But she got him to open up and she thought that was it, that she’d broken through his walls and they’d be permanently down for her, only to realize it wasn’t the case. He was distant for a few days and she tried to get through again only for him to completely shut her out; she hasn’t heard from him in weeks. 
It’s probably why you agree. People who keep their distance and disengage whenever they want are hard to love. You’d know because you’re like that. It hits you hard knowing that Jungkook is probably the same. 
Snapping out of your thoughts, you and Do-hyun watch Jungkook and Yohan outride one another, splashing each other with water and screaming in excitement when they speed up. Seeing this other side of Jungkook does something to you again, and the sight of his smile as he dries his hair while teasing Yohan triggers the butterflies in your belly. 
He approaches you - thankfully with his shirt on this time - and you suddenly feel too hot. He tells you that the water’s nice and you should get in, but you’re too self-conscious now, so you compromise and say you’ll just dip your feet in the water while you sit on the steps that lead down to the lake. 
That’s how you spend the rest of the hour, as Chin-sun, Manager Lee, and Do-hyun join Yohan in swimming while Jungkook stays back, watching you all from afar. You glance at him a few times and he catches your eyes. He lifts his can in cheers and you do the same. He heads to where you are some time after with five cans of beer then walks back to his room, and you suddenly miss his presence. You wish he was next to you, perhaps laughing or talking about something random or just sitting with you in silence. You’ve learned that last bit brings you a lot of comfort and peace; the view somehow isn’t as beautiful when you aren’t sharing it with him. 
It’s an hour later, after having dried and fixed up, when you’re all on the basketball court to start the next activity that Mr. Ri prepared. Divided into teams of two, each pair is assigned a path that leads to either the mountain, the woods, or the stream to find bags of coins needed to “purchase” materials to create a science experiment-type water rocket. It’s meant to practice your communication and problem-solving skills with those you work most closely with, which is why Chin-sun and Do-hyun, and Manager Lee and Yohan are paired up respectively while you, of course, end up with Jungkook. 
“The caretakers and I spent all morning preparing this game, so please take it seriously,” Mr Ri says. “And bond with each other while you’re at it.”
You see the competitiveness in the young ones’ eyes, especially when it’s announced that there’s a prize for the winners, and you like the energy. Being Jungkook’s partner, you know it’s just about completing the task and somehow, it’s the bonding bit that makes you nervous. You already know you’re going to like it, which is precisely why it terrifies you. 
“There are ATVs for each team which you will ride to the start of the path. You’ll have to go by foot when you get there or else you’ll miss the bags of coins,” Mr. Ri instructs. “You have walkie-talkies to reach me in case you get lost but please don’t. And try to be back here in an hour. All clear?”
You all express your acknowledgement and he signals the start. The other teams rush to their rides and quickly drive off while you and Jungkook stroll to yours. 
He takes the helmet and puts it on you, and he laughs again like he did at the Arts Center months ago before riding the vehicle. 
“I should’ve expected that,” you pout. 
“Which?”
“That you’ll laugh at me again.”
“It looks cute on you,” he says casually before riding the vehicle.
Your eyes widen at his words and you’re glad he has his back turned on you. That way he can’t see the way you’re trying to hold your smile and suppress the giddy feeling at his remark. It makes it that much harder for you to climb up behind him though, but you manage, and you ensure there’s some distance between you and him, knowing how you tend to be when you get close. 
Jungkook, on the other hand, internally smacks himself after he says the words. He didn’t mean for the thoughts in his head to actually come out. He’s glad he didn’t see your probably awkward expression, and that right now, he needs to focus on the road. That way, he can preoccupy himself with your safety and not his embarrassment. 
He means it though. There’s something about you in a helmet that gets him, or even in anything oversized, like his jacket that he made you wear once. There’s also something about you wading in the water and laughing so freely that make his insides melt. Anything you do actually triggers something in him - a protective side, a care-free side; a side that wants to take a pause and bask in the scenery that includes you. 
Now he has to act like he’s not affected with you sitting behind him as he drives the ATV down the rugged path. He feels you far from him, sitting close to the edge and holding onto the handles behind you. But as the road gets rockier, he starts to get worried. 
“You should hold onto me,” he says, turning his head to the side so you could hear him before slowing down. “It’s safer that way.”
It takes a few seconds but he feels you move closer to him, your arms slowly wrapping around his torso. It’s a bit loose but it’s enough for his breathing to quicken.
“Is… is this okay?” You softly ask.
“Yeah,” he manages to say. “It’s a bit rocky out here so be careful. You can, uh, you can hold on tighter if you feel unstable.”
You hum in response but you maintain your position. He supposes you don’t know how bumpy it could be. It makes him worry and he wishes you’d grab onto him more only because he’s afraid you’d fall, and that’s exactly what happens after the first big bump. 
You yelp, tightening your grip around him immediately. He feels his heart stop, unprepared to have your arms around his waist and your chest flushed against his back even if that’s what he’d suggested you do. He’s felt you close in several instances already, but each time feels different. It affects him the same way though - all he wants is to have you even closer.
But that’s not something he can think of right now, especially when you’re both alone, in a place that’s conducive to letting his inhibitions go. 
It’s calm and peaceful out here. There’s a lot of open space but he enjoys it more when he’s looking at it from the comforts of the balcony or the deck. He always prefers to stay indoors because the outdoors somehow make him feel more constricted; he supposes that being trapped in the woods as a child would do that to anyone. He’s always just been a spectator, watching everything from behind the safety of his walls, knowing that he could feel a bit unsteady out there.
But ever since you got here and he’d seen you enjoy the surroundings, all he’s felt was the stability of having you near him. That, ironically, scares him, too. The more he’s comfortable with you, the more worried he becomes. So he settles on what he knows how to do - keeping you at a fair distance but creating moments here and there, only so you don’t think he’s pushing you away or detaching himself. 
You decide to just hold onto Jungkook for safety purposes. You didn’t realize that the path towards the stream is this rocky, but you suppose it should be since you’re in the undeveloped part of the property. It's probably why he asked you to hold onto him; he’s your safety precaution and you know enough that he wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.
He’s steady and skilled in navigating the ATV, avoiding the big bumps and alerting you when there’s going to be one. It’s actually quite attractive. He feels so nice like this, with his soft hoodie and natural scent, and you have to pull away every once in a while so as not to get too comfortable. You can’t let yourself imagine this to be a possibility beyond today, you remind yourself. He can’t be someone you constantly seek, that you could fall into, even if that’s pretty much where you’re at at this point. 
You reach the end of the road and Jungkook lets you get down first, instructing you to hold his arm for support, before following right after. You walk towards the mark that signifies the start of the path where you’re supposed to find the bags of coins, and you look around to see that there are more shrubs than trees. It feels a little less constricting compared to if you were in the mountains or the woods, which is why you think Mr. Ri assigned this to both of you.
You and Jungkook start searching, and with the topography of the place, it’s easy to spot the bags that are hanging from the tree branches. You point one out and Jungkook steps on the hollowed out trunk to retrieve it. You stand by watching, reminding him to be careful. And though you tell yourself to focus on the bag, you can’t help but glance at the sight of him - in his light gray sweatpants and hooded sweatshirt, looking casual and comfortable and even more attractive. 
It doesn’t help when he reaches out towards the branch while you stay on a spot below him, and the view of him from this angle leaves you quite breathless. Not only does his hoodie rise up to reveal his waist and that lower half of his torso that you’d held onto earlier, but you also get a peek of the band of his underwear, too. Your mind short-circuits for the briefest moment, even more when he stretches even more to pull the bag towards him, and you’re able to snap out of it in time, as you watch him slowly make his way down.
“Watch your step, watch your step!” You call out.
He easily descends, and with his smug face, he lifts the bag for you to see. 
“Do you not have faith in my tree-climbing capabilities?” he asks you.   
“It’s just not something I’ve seen you do before,” you shrug, acting nonchalantly as you return to walking down the path.
“So, were you worried?”
“Uhm, yes? I can’t have an injured Vice President on my watch,” you exclaim, earning you a laugh. “How am I gonna transport you out of this dirt road and back to the house? I can barely keep still as a passenger on the ATV.”
“Well, I could get hurt but I definitely won’t be immobile,” he points out. “I won’t be a hard person to help.”
“Right… I’m the one who gets injured and then can’t walk.”
He frowns at you at the reminder, and you counter that it’s okay for you to make fun of your injury but that he’s right, he probably won’t be as injured as you. You wave him off, hoping that you don’t have to deal with an incapacitated version of him during this game. You also won’t be able to handle worrying about him without giving too much away. 
You return your focus on finding the other bags. There are those hidden behind rocks and in shallow holes; you know because of the shovel next to them. There’s another one tied around the trunk of the tree, and you have to hold your breath again when Jungkook climbs up to get it.
As expected, you have good teamwork. You section off areas to search at and quickly find what you’re looking for. You go for the ones you can get and then ask him to reach for the ones you can’t. There’s some bickering in between, with him pretending that he’s stuck or caught on something while you panic and then pout at him for scaring you. But there are some moments of silence, too, where you walk side by side and bask in the scent of your surroundings. Either way, it’s time that you enjoy just being around him, taking in the environment that you often stayed away from. With him, it’s a lot less scary and definitely more freeing.
When you’re down to your last one, you and Jungkook think that Mr. Ri would hide it somewhere near the end of the path, so you both decide to just take in your surroundings as you stroll towards the stream.  
“So, nature smells like this, huh?” you hum. “It’s quite comforting.”
“It is,” he says. “I forget sometimes. It’s nice to remember.”
“Don’t you spend a lot of time outdoors?” You wonder. “You’ve mentioned driving out to some of your properties with views like this. I’d assume you stay out and enjoy the scenery.”
“I do enjoy the scenery… just from inside,” he chuckles, knowing the irony of his words. “It’s just more comfortable that way, I guess. So I appreciate being forced to go outside this weekend.”
“At least you’re not alone, right?”
“That’s true.”
“I’m the same,” you say. “I don’t go out much. I mean, I’m often on my own so I just stay indoors but I do enjoy the scenery when I’m with others. It feels too lonely when you’re by yourself. To be something so small in a world so big… It's kind of scary.”
“Well, I’m here with you. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
You don’t think Jungkook will ever know the weight of his words and just how wrong he is. To be in a place so beautiful with him next to you… it’s everything you’re scared of. You’ve come to appreciate a lot of things because of him. You’ve come to want more when you shouldn’t because of him. You always find yourself in a state of push-and-pull with your emotions when it comes to him, knowing that he’s someone you can’t have. He’ll always be out of reach no matter how close he is. He’ll always hinder you from the kind of life you want to have even if that includes him. 
The logical part of you wants to keep your distance, to not create any more memories that will haunt you and that you’ll miss. But the stubborn part of you wants you to hold onto this to remind you that beautiful things are tangible and he’s the one thing you can see and hear; maybe he’s something you can touch, too. 
The latter one wins, so you slow your pace, take in the sight before you, and decide that this is a memory you’ll want to keep. You take the disposable camera from your pouch, something you bought the other week specifically for this trip, knowing it might be your last. You take a photo of the sky, then of the path ahead of you, then of the stream, making sure there’s a bit of him in there - a mop of hair, a portion of his arm, his shadow. 
It’s then that you see the last bright red bag on one of the big rocks near the water’s edge. 
“Oh, there it is,” you say, immediately walking towards it. 
You look around and strategize how you’ll get to the rock safely but Jungkook insists that he’ll be the one to get it.
“You’ve gotten all the tricky ones,” you argue, given that he’d climbed the tree and crawled under the shrub because your leggings were too thin and wouldn’t be able to protect you from the thorny branches. “I can get this.”
“It might be slippery.”
“I have good balance,” you lie.
“Uh, I clearly remember that you don’t.”
“Hey,” you pout at him, knowing he’s referring to that time you tripped on yourself during one of your Arts Center visits. “It was the heels. That’s clearly not a problem this time.”
You step on the wet stones and balance your way as they lead towards the big rock, with Jungkook repeatedly telling you to be careful. His voice just gets louder and louder, but you turn around and see that he’s actually just following you. It’s your mistake, as your loss of focus causes you to  slip on one of the rocks and almost lose your balance. Fortunately, it doesn’t make you fall on your ass. Your foot merely slides to the side, barely missing the water, which is really fine, but Jungkook doesn’t think so.
“Don’t move until you’re stable,” he instructs, holding out his hand for you to take, prompting you to look at him questioningly. “That’s the foot you injured. You can’t risk spraining it again. Just take my hand or hold my wrist so you can safely get the bag.”
You do as he says, grabbing his forearm so you can stabilize yourself. You let him go once you do, then you turn and take a few small steps to get what you need. He stays close to you though, and once you retrieve the bag, you turn towards him with a proud smile and announce that half of your task has been completed. 
“You’re incredibly stubborn, you know that?” He says instead, his firm voice a contrast to his playful frown.
“And you are quite the nagger,” you hit back. “I wouldn’t have slipped if I hadn’t turned and I wouldn’t have done that if you weren’t so noisy.”
“Sure, it’s my fault. Sorry for caring about your safety,” he shakes his head. 
“Well, you were underestimating me,” you frown now. “I could’ve done all this without your help.”
“Really?” He challenges.
“Yes,” you stand your ground. “Although I would still need your help to get back to land.”
It’s what makes him laugh, and the way his eyes light up and crinkle makes your heart race. He has such a sweet sound, and you wish you could hear more of it. 
“I figured. Let’s go, then.”
“Wait,” you stop him and check your watch. “We still have time. Can we stay for a bit? The water’s quite nice and the view of the mountains is prettier from here.”
Jungkook looks around. The mountain range from far away looks majestic from this angle, and with the sun about to set soon, the way the light shines on the water is just as beautiful. 
“Okay then,” he says, wanting to savor this as well. 
You just said you don’t go out much, and maybe like what he feels, being with him makes you want to take it all in; maybe it makes you feel less scared.
You both find dry rocks to sit at and it’s the perfect spot for you to take more photos, so you take out your camera and see which angles look best.
“Did you buy that for this trip?” he asks.
“Yeah. I knew the sights would be beautiful. I just wanted to keep something from here,” you explain.
“Give it to me then,” he says, reaching out his hand and gesturing towards your camera. “Let me take one of you so you’ll always remember.”
You hand it over to him then suddenly feel awkward at how you’re supposed to pose. You stay seated with your legs just slightly bent but are unsure of where you’re supposed to look. It feels a little too tense if you look at his direction, even if that’s what you should be doing.
“It’s free to smile, you know? That’s what people usually do for photos,” he says, causing you to giggle. He takes the photo right then, and you have an idea he caught your smile at the right time.
“Was that a trick?” You ask.
“Sort of. I knew you were gonna think of how bold it was of me to say that, considering that I barely even smile.”
“Wow, I can’t even tease you anymore because you already know what I’m gonna say.”
“I know sometimes you can’t help but just tease me like that. I know you too well,” he smugly says. “But I think I got a good photo. You’re welcome.”
You laugh at his playfulness, knowing it’s rare for him to show that side of him. So you ask for your camera back and decide you want him to be part of this particular memory. You hold it out and turn towards him.
“May I?” You ask.
“Uh, yeah, I guess,” he hums. “I just don’t know how to smile.”
You giggle again and you’re quick enough to catch the brief moment when he lets out a short laugh. 
You look at him softly, as if there’s more you want to say - that you’ll keep this close to you so you’ll remember what his smile looks like, that he’s something beautiful you can hear and see, that you  feel so safe out here with him, and that you hope he’ll remember this, too.
But you look away before any of the words make it out. 
You think to just quietly savor this, as you bask in the sounds of the cicadas and the flow of the water and the rustling of the leaves. You’re so small in this big world, but being with Jungkook makes things a little less scary. With him, you don’t feel so alone.
A bit more time passes before you both decide to head back. He reaches out his hand which you mindlessly take, your fingers instinctively wrapping around his palm. You’re too focused on your steps that you only realize you’re still holding him once you both safely make it to dry land. But it’s also at that moment when he lets go. Though a part of you wishes he’d drag the illusion a bit more, you’re also glad he didn’t; you would’ve probably held on longer if he didn’t pull away. 
The silence continues as you both walk back to the start of the path, but he stays near you, occasionally asking if you’re tired or cold. You make it to the ATV and you hold onto his waist again with no instructions needed this time. He drives a bit faster than earlier but you feel safe and steady, and there’s something natural about the way you’re clinging to him for support. Part of the illusion as well, you think, but that ends, too.
You’re the last one back to the villas but you and Jungkook quickly make up some ground in assembling the water rocket. It was mostly him, though, as he says that he tinkers around and easily figures these things out. Do-hyun and Chin-sun feel the pressure as you catch up, and they shriek as they slowly feel the win slipping away from them. But then Jungkook holds onto the last piece and lets them win instead. The way they celebrate after their rocket successfully launches makes it feel worth it; you don’t feel bad about it at all. If anything, you expected he’d let either of the other two teams finish first. 
After the winners are handed out hotel accommodation gift cards, Jungkook excuses himself to get a bit of work done while the rest of the team prepares for dinner. The team works on your assigned tasks of preparing the grill and slicing the vegetables, while you cook your famed fried rice after Do-hyun convinced you that it would heal her broken heart. Seated outside with the cool evening air, you all wait for Jungkook before starting.
“Mr. Jeon said he’ll just message me once he’s ready to eat,” Mr. Ri says as he takes his seat. “We can start without him.”
“But it’s not a team dinner without him,” Do-hyun whines. “He should take a break from working and spend time with us.”
“I’m sure he wants that, too,” you say. “Let’s just give him some time, maybe there’s something urgent he needs to do. Let’s just enjoy our meal and leave some food for him.”
Everyone dives in once the meat is cooked, and there’s a consensus that your fried rice is definitely worth all the hype. The laughter and teasing immediately start, and you wish Jungkook was here to enjoy it with you. You constantly glance at his villa, noting the dim lights, and you wonder what has him holed up inside this time, knowing he didn’t plan on working too much while he’s here. 
It’s one hour later when you decide that he’s gone too long without having dinner, so you take portions of everything and set them on a tray. 
“Wait, let me make him a drink. Hopefully that’ll convince him to come out,” Yohan says. 
Managing to carry everything, you head towards Jungkook’s villa, and when he opens the door after your constant bell-ringing, he looks at you in surprise. 
“The team’s been wondering when you were coming out,” you say. “You might be in there because of work, but I’m not fully convinced. Whatever it is, the food’s too delicious for you to not have a taste, so I brought you some.” 
You raise the tray that you placed on the small table outside and flash him a smile. He nods in acknowledgement and takes it from you but you don’t leave just yet. 
“I hope you’re not working anymore,” you say. 
“I only did for a while,” he replies. “I… got a bit tired.”
“I’ve seen you workout in the morning and work all day after only having three hours of sleep, Jungkook. You wouldn’t get tired from just a jet ski ride and some scavenger hunt,” you raise an eyebrow. 
He lets out a dry laugh before heading to the dining room. He leaves the door open so you follow him inside.
“I mean I’m socially tired. Isn’t that a thing?” 
“Gee, I didn’t think that spending time with me outdoors drained your energy so much,” you frown. 
Your playful pout tells him you’re teasing. He sure hopes it’s not what you really feel. It’s the opposite, in fact. He felt relieved of a lot of things during that hour that he walked around and breathed in the fresh air with you. And you both had moments - comforting glances, the shared silence… the fleeting touches that made him want more. You’re everything new and familiar and he wants to know how it’s like to have you close to him. 
He knows it’s a desire he can’t act on, not just because he’s your superior but also because he can’t imagine you feeling a fraction of what he feels. It’s tempting to mistake your kindness for something more, and he’d fall into it if only hoping didn’t lead to disappointment. But like what Yoongi had said before, it’s how you naturally are, even as someone who prefers to be alone. Whatever type of friendship you offer is all that it is - friendship. 
Jungkook clearly doesn’t deserve you. It’s not just because of the way he treated you at the beginning but because even until now, whenever he pulls away, you’re always the first one who reaches out. He’s scared that anything he does might push you away, and that’s the last thing he wants. He’ll keep you at a distance for as much as he can and for as long as you’re around. He can handle that, but losing you in any way has become his biggest fear. 
That’s why he needed to be on his own after your time together in such a casual and comfortable environment. It’s easy to want that with you and to think that he can have it. Pulling away has always been his default when dealing with things he can’t control, and earlier, he just couldn’t control his mind and his heart. 
But you’re here now, having knocked on his door like you always do, wondering if he’ll come out.
“I brought you dinner but I purposely gave you small servings so you’ll want more and leave your villa,” you explain. 
“Half a cup of your fried rice?” He scowls. “That’s a crime.”
“I know. And you’ll run out if you don’t go outside,” you warn. “Are you planning on just staying here? Do-hyun’s right. It’s not a team dinner without you there.”
“I… I was planning to go out a bit later. It’s a different setting and I’m a little anxious,” he admits.
He looks away and you feel for him. You were the same in the beginning, too. It’s one thing to share meals with people in a work environment but it’s another when it’s more casual, where people are less filtered and guarded. But you had to try, and after spending time getting to know your colleagues, things got easier.
The team has adjusted to Jungkook but you suppose Jungkook hasn’t fully adjusted to them. Perhaps he was planning on sneaking in much later in the evening or using work as an excuse. But this is part of his function, and like you promised him early on, you want to help him with this aspect of his role.
“I’ll help you loosen up a bit,” you suggest. “I can have dinner with you here first and then we can go out once you’re ready.”
“Sounds good,” he agrees, even if he’d decided earlier that he’d keep his distance. “You can get your food outside. I’m not sharing mine.”
You laugh at how seriously he says the words.
“I know,” you say. “And by the way, Yohan made you that drink.”
“How’d he know I like highball?”
“A little birdie told him,” you shrug, feigning innocence. 
You smile before walking out, with Jungkook reminding you to set aside some fried rice for him.
You take your plate and reason to the team that you and Jungkook will just discuss some work stuff and they buy it, saying they won't get drunk until you’re both back outside.
You return to the villa with your dish and a bottle of beer, immediately realizing that it’s new territory for you and Jungkook, too. Sure, you’ve spent some time together out of work, but not in a place and situation like this. 
But you want to be there for him. You like that he looks to you for energy and support. On days when he’s distant, you want moments like right now to remind you of the times he needed you, that he wanted you around, even if it’s for a different reason.
It takes half an hour for Jungkook to ease his nerves. In that time, you talk about random things, like his favorite hawker centers in Singapore and the variety shows you watch on which days. You both tease each other, then compete on who gets less affected. You tell him it’s good preparation for when the team, in their drunken states, does the same. You assure him, though, that they won’t go below the belt but he also assures you that he’s a big boy and can handle it. 
When he says he wants more fried rice, it becomes your cue to head outside. You’re thankful that other than Mr. Ri subtly smirking at you, no one else reacts uncomfortably. You and Jungkook just came from his villa alone, after all, but you suppose everyone’s too tired or too careful to say anything. 
“I hope no one’s eaten my share of the fried rice,” Jungkook says as he sits across from you. “I was really looking forward to it.”
“Here, all yours, Mr. Jeon,” Yohan says as he hands him a bowl. “If it isn’t enough, just know that Do-hyun took one last scoop before we set this aside.”
“Traitor,” Do-hyun scowls at the younger man. “I couldn’t help it. It’s so good, right?” She turns to Jungkook now. “___ gatekeeps this! She says she’s too busy to make it and I only got her to do it now because I’m heartbroken.”
Jungkook smiles internally. You’ve made this for him a few times and it’s heartwarming to think that you had your reasons for doing so, knowing now that it’s not something you easily share. 
“It’s way better than the one I make,” Jungkook says, glancing at you. “I can have this everyday.”
“You cook?!” Do-hyun basically yells. 
“Uh, yeah. I lived on my own for years. How do you think I survived?” Jungkook asks.
“Paying people to do things for you,” Do-hyun shrugs. 
It’s a line he’s heard you say before and neither of you are wrong. It’s normal to make that assumption and it’s also true. He had people to do pretty much everything for him when he was in Singapore. He has that option here in Seoul, too, but he’s found himself wanting less people in his space for long periods of time. You’re really the only one he doesn’t mind being around him.
The conversation shifts to what happened in the afternoon, and you all end up talking about each team’s scavenger hunt experience and the anticipation for the next day’s obstacle course and relay games. A few more shots and bottles of beer later, the vibe turns more serious, as Manager Lee’s question to Do-hyun about how she’s feeling turns into an emotional session where she asks what she’s supposed to do about the man she was seeing, wondering if it’s worth reaching out or just moving on from him.
Chin-sun shares a piece of her mind and so does Yohan. Manager Lee says that sometimes, people don’t know what they want and isolate themselves in response. The pieces of advice are a mix of being patient and forgetting about the man, and you choose to observe rather than give an opinion. It’s always easy to say something but things could be totally different once you’re the one experiencing it. You think Jungkook feels the same, as he stays quiet but listens earnestly.
“What do you think, Mr. Ri?” Do-hyun asks. “You’re the oldest one here and would probably have a lot to say.”
“I wish I did but I wouldn’t say I’ve made the best decisions when it comes to my love life,” Mr. Ri laughs. “I mean, I’ve only ever loved one woman but I let her go. And that was over 20 years ago; I haven’t loved anyone that way since. I don’t think I ever really stopped.”
You watch everyone’s faces turn from shocked to somber. Mr. Ri, having been CEO Jeon’s right-hand man for a long time, has a stable and commanding presence. Everyone knows him to be loyal and firm, yet there’s a warmth about him with how protective and dependable he is. They all know about his commitment to his job, but his faithfulness to one person is perhaps surprising; he was never one to show much emotion, after all. But then again, people make sacrifices in the name of love - sometimes they give everything up for it, sometimes it’s what they let go of.
“Twenty years is a long time,” Do-hyun sighs. “And you never stopped. Where does all that love go?”
“I have people I care about,” Mr. Ri answers. “It goes to them. Obviously it’s different but I learned that if I keep all that love to myself, it hurts even more. That’s how I learned to live with the decision I made. It’s how I learned to let her go.”
“That’s so sad,” Do-hyun sniffles. “Here I am, heartbroken about a guy I was dating for only a few months while you’ve been harboring these feelings for decades.”
“It’s not about the length of time you were together or apart,” Mr. Ri shakes his head. “When you give a part of yourself to someone, losing them always hurts. That part of you is gone because they took it with them and you can’t take it back. So your pain is valid. We all love and grieve and move forward differently,” he says. “It’s all terrifying but that’s the irony of life, I���ve learned. The thing we all want and can’t live without is the same thing that hurts us the most, whether we have it or not.”
There’s a beat of silence as everyone takes in the elder man’s words. They cut deep, as you know they come from a place of deep pain. You don’t want to ever go through something that hurts that much. 
“I’m too emotional,” Do-hyun sighs, not wanting to spend the rest of the evening crying and having everyone feel bad for her, so she shifts her attention to something else. “I want something juicy.” She briefly looks at Jungkook, who looks blankly at her, so she turns to you instead. “I don’t know much about your love life, ___.”
“Yes, because I don’t have one,” you chuckle, masking the nervousness you feel because talking about its inexistence in front of the man plaguing your mind was not something you planned for this trip. 
“But I know you did,” she insists. “I mean, why wouldn’t you?”
“I think what Do-hyun means is that you’re a highly capable, kind, and attractive woman,” Chin-sun chimes in. “Surely there have been prospects for a relationship, yes?”
“Like Mr. Min!” Yohan says now. “I always thought you two were cute together. Do-hyun and I would bet on it since she says you’re not the type to date co-workers.”
“And she’s right,” you say, glancing at Jungkook whose face you can’t read. “Yoongi and I are good friends. That’s all we ever were.”
“Well, I think he’s very nice and he’d treat you well,” Yohan sighs. “But I guess it might be weird to date someone you work with. I have friends I can match you with!”
“That’s not necessary,” you laugh. “I don’t think relationships are for everyone.”
“Why not?” Do-hyun asks.
You contemplate on whether or not you’re ready for this conversation, especially since it’s the type you usually just have with your best friends. You suppose it’s why your colleagues claim they don’t know much about you other than the way you work because you don’t really share much about your life, your dreams, or the things you wonder about. You’ve always preferred to keep things to yourself, always worried about how they will be received.
But everyone’s allowed themselves to be vulnerable tonight, and given the distance you’ve created between you and them all these years, you think the least you could do is be honest. It’s a team building thing anyway, and people bond over shared experiences during these times.
“I’ve… dated people but it was never serious,” you start. “I never really saw myself committing to them. Sure, I’d give my time and energy but nothing more. There’s so much courage in loving another person. I just don’t think I’ll ever be brave enough for that. I mean, it’s just hard to control. Once you start, you can’t stop; once you do it too much, you can’t pull back.”
“Sounds to me like you’re afraid that you won’t receive as much as you give,” Manager Lee states. “It’s how love is, though. It’s not always equal. But that’s the risk you take, that’s the trust you build. That even when what’s given isn’t the same, there’s still love there.”
“But isn’t that the scary part of it all?” You counter. “Like what Mr. Ri said, you give a part of yourself to someone when you love them but what if they don’t want that specific part of you? Or they did then one day they decide they don’t anymore? So they just retreat and leave you out in the open. They’re safe but you’re not, because you broke down your walls for them but they didn’t do the same.”
“That’s the thing about finding the right person, ___,” Manager Lee says, with all the wisdom of a man who’s loved and lost and loved again. “You either trust that they won’t do that, or you accept that they could and you’d still think that loving them is worth all the pain that losing them would cost. In the end, you get to decide. If you keep yourself from feeling it, how are you to know what’s worth it and what isn’t?”
You’ve heard versions of these words before, too. Soomin and Jimin, whose respective relationship ups and downs you’ve witnessed, have said themselves that committing yourself to someone takes a whole lot of faith in the person and in yourself. It’s because you’re giving them an opportunity to hurt you but you have to trust that they won’t. A lot of times, they do, so you then have to trust in your own ability to get over them. 
The thoughts swim in your head and with your silence, Chin-sun gives you an encouraging smile. She’s a few years older than you and has experienced a lot when it comes to relationships, and you can sense that she understands your hesitation and your fear.
“It’s scary but when you find someone who makes you feel brave, that can make all the difference,” she says. 
Admitting all this makes you feel exposed, especially when your eyes flit to Jungkook and you find him gazing at you, as if he’s trying to figure you out. You’re worried that any other move you make or things you say will lead him to uncovering your feelings that you acknowledge is beyond just physical attraction at this point. 
You find yourself worrying about him constantly, wondering what he’s doing or if he’s getting proper rest. You’re always thinking about his smile and the sound of his laugh, and you imagine how much sweeter and softer they could get. You want him to be happy, to find his peace, to have something to look forward to. And you want to know what his touch feels and how it’s like to have him close. 
You know all this is wrong because of who you are and who he is in this world, especially as you realize that you’ve never felt anything quite like this before. The fear makes itself even more known as it is embodied in the man across from you - so palpable and overwhelming that you can’t help but want more, and the more his eyes bore into you, the closer you are to giving in. 
How are you to know what’s worth it and what isn’t if you don’t let yourself feel all of it? And if Jungkook makes you feel brave, then what if he’s the person you’re willing to break down your walls for?
You shake your head, knowing you can’t fall into the trap of your own mind. You need to be logical about this, but you also think that you’ve been that way all your life and it hasn’t brought you much happiness. At this point, you question what that looks like. 
Maybe it looks like him. Maybe it’s also life without him. 
How do people make decisions like this? You wonder. How do they know how much pain they can bear? And when does it become worth it?
“Wise words,” you manage to say after a tense silence. “You make it sound simple.”
“Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t,” Chin-sun says. “Human beings are complicated, ___, so are our emotions. Love makes people stupid. But it also makes us brave and happy and complete. And when it’s shared with the right person, god it feels so good.”
You’re able to get her to share about her own experience and remove the spotlight away from you. Manager Lee narrates his serendipitous love story as well, and the serious tone of the conversation turns into a giddy, enjoyable one. You find yourself constantly glancing at Jungkook, liking his soft smiles and giggles as the stories are told. He briefly meets your eyes during some moments though, and that’s when you look away. 
The night ends when he announces that everyone should get some rest and prepare for tomorrow’s activities, so you all clean up and wish each other a good night. Your eyes linger on Jungkook as he walks back to his villa, and you turn away before he does the same, the yearning for him getting stronger as each day passes.
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The sun shines beautifully over the lake as you lean on the railing overlooking the water. The clouds over the mountains look like the fog that cleared earlier, and the majestic way that the scenery is framed by the blue skies is absolutely stunning.
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Jungkook hums from several meters next to you. “I never really bothered to appreciate this view before.”
“It is,” you say, turning to him as he continues to gaze at the scene before you while you gaze at him. If he notices from his periphery, he doesn’t say anything. “It’s breathtaking. I could take a picture but that wouldn’t give this justice.”
“I can try,” he says, reaching out to ask for your phone. “I’m good at this.”
You indulge him and watch as he finds the right angle to beautifully capture the surroundings. He asks if you want him to take another photo with you in it this time, and though you’re a little shy, you let him. 
You warm at how natural your smile looks, realizing that you were focusing on his smile while he was taking the picture. The view looks surreal but you’re in there, and it’s a reminder of where you are and who you’re with. Jungkook remarks that it’s a nice shot before turning back to the water, and while you wish you were braver and had asked to take one with him so you could hold onto this memory, you know you’ll look at this photo of you and also remember what you’re feeling. There’s so much calm and clarity, and you know it’s not just because of the mountains. 
The tension and fear that filled you up last night have slowly turned into a sense of relief. The distance that once bothered you about Jungkook now gives you comfort. No matter how far or unattainable he may be, you still feel his presence - his warmth is in the peacefulness of a park at night, or in the calmness of the lake, or in the safety of your neighborhood library. You never imagined that one Jeon Jungkook would ever make you feel this way, and if he’s someone who makes you be brave to feel something new, maybe you owe it to him and to yourself to be brave to pursue that, too.
Your thoughts are disrupted when Yohan yells that breakfast is ready. You all gather in the common dining room for some dumpling soup before a short planning session to give you time to digest. At 9:30, the first activity begins, with all six of you divided into two teams to finish an obstacle course.
It gets competitive when you’re teamed up with the younger ones, as Do-hyun and Yohan attempt to trash talk the others. They give it their all, especially when they see Jungkook dominating the kayaking part of the course, but the three of you manage in the end. A part of you feels that the other team just wanted to make the younger ones win only to use it against them later on, but the fun and excitement are what matter.
You enjoy some meat and stew for lunch and have another planning session before doing the afternoon games, which has Jungkook on the losing team again. He comes up with a last minute individual game that gives Manager Lee the chance to win this time, and the afternoon ends with all of you, excluding him, winning prizes you can enjoy after this.
The free time before dinner has you reading your book by the lake and then talking with Chin-sun in the hammock while the rest of the team enjoy the sunset and some beer. You’re thankful that this time, Mr. Ri was tasked to handle all the activities instead of you, and so you’re able to focus on spending time with your colleagues. 
You grill meat again for dinner, roast marshmallows over the campfire, and passionately sing off-key in the karaoke. But unlike last night, people decide to go to bed early, definitely tired from today’s physical activities. 
You’re exhausted as well but somehow, the pull of the cold evening air is too strong, so you decide to walk to the main house and grab a bottle of beer. When you walk out to the deck, you’re surprised to find Jungkook seated on a lounge chair outside of his villa, glass in hand as he looks up at the sky. 
Jungkook savors the crisp breeze, knowing that once he gets back to Seoul, all he’ll have is the musty air and the buzzing sounds of the city. He wants to remember this weekend and the peace he felt. Maybe he should’ve taken a photo of the view this morning like he did for you; he at least has the one of you in it that he took ingrained in his mind. You looked so calm and happy; he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face then. 
He’s trying to keep as much of today in his memory as he can, knowing how hectic it’s going to be when you all get back. Other than the amount of fun he didn’t expect to have with the team, he enjoyed seeing a different side of you. 
You were competitive but encouraging, probably not the most athletic but definitely capable. He could pick out your squeals and laughter and he thought they were sweet and hypnotic, and he appreciated how thoughtful you were during dinner, making sure everyone had enough to eat, especially him. You would catch his attention to ask if his meat is okay or if he’s feeling comfortable; he hated that it all ended so soon. Though he shouldn’t, he wanted more time with you. It’s different being out here than it is in the office or even in his home. Here, he’s unguarded and a lot more free, and he’s able to make more sense of how you affect him; in a way, he’s able to truly feel all that you make him feel.
There’s so much of you in his mind but you’re not around, so he stands up to head to bed already, hoping he’d at least see you in his dreams. But when he turns towards the door, he sees a silhouette in the main house’s deck. And as if the universe is giving him some sign, he finds you there, standing by the post with a beer in hand. You lift the bottle in cheers and he lifts his drink in return, sipping every last drop he could.
He sees you grab another bottle from the outdoor fridge then place it on the coffee table, an invitation to join you that he’s glad you make. He would’ve been too hesitant to make the move, unsure of your willingness to be in his presence. 
“Can’t sleep?” You ask as he nears the couch. 
He sits next to you, the short distance a little too tempting to close. 
“Sort of,” he hums. “And you?”
“Not really. I don’t get much of the outdoors back in my tiny apartment,” you chuckle.
“Fair enough. The weather’s been nice, fortunately. Not like the last time we were out of town, yeah?”
“Yeah, fortunately,” you shyly look at him, not saying more, perhaps unsure if it’s something he’s ready to talk about.
“It’s okay,” he assures you. “I’ve accepted you having witnessed my extreme moment of weakness. You were patient and understanding even when I was angry and I… I don’t know if I’ve thanked you enough for that.”
“You have, and I understand it all. But Jungkook, what happened at that guest house is not weakness,” you insist. “That’s… dealing with a painful memory.”
“That wasn’t dealing, ___. I was suffering. That's… that’s what happens when someone doesn’t know how to move on from something.”
“Does it happen a lot?” You wonder. 
“Well, the nightmares tend to happen when the thunder is really loud,” he says. “Otherwise I just get really anxious, like when it rains, my brain just expects things to get bad.”
“What do you do when it does?”
“I don’t know how I manage, actually,” he answers. “I usually forget and just remember that I wake up dry in my bed. I mean, I’d be sweating but not soaked. I guess that night, I was just too nervous because the rain was so strong, we were on the road. And I was somewhere completely unfamiliar with you. I… I think that made it worse.”
Your silence prompts him to clarify. “I mean, I didn’t want you to see me that way, that’s why it was worse,” he states. “It’s not a side of me I’m proud of. Which is silly thinking about it now because you’ve seen a lot of sides of me that I’m not proud of. All of them, actually.”
“So you’re not proud of the side of you that protected me? That made sure I was safe? That rushed to find me when I was stuck in the rain?” You ask. 
“It’s what any decent human being would do,” he dismisses. “Those just probably stand out because I wasn’t exactly one in the beginning.”
“Well, you had Mr. Ri drive me. You’d make me go home early sometimes, too.”
“___, again, that’s what a decent boss should be doing. It’s the bare minimum. You deserve more kindness than you’re receiving. I… I should have been that to you from the start.”
“We’ve moved past that, remember? It’s all okay. I managed, I stayed. And I’m glad I did. I got to learn so much from you,” you assure him. “And you deserve more kindness than you’re receiving, too.”
Jungkook hums. He wouldn’t have thought that he’d be able to freely talk to you about all this - about how he was before and how he’s been recently. And like always, you’re gentle with him. He could only hope you’re as gentle as you are with yourself, something he doesn’t know how to do. 
“I… I hope you’ve found ways to cope with all that you went through,” he says, turning away from you in shame. “I… I’m still learning.”
“It’s a process, and it’s not an easy one. No one really tells you how to do it. You kind of just… find your way,” you share. “But just think that the thunder doesn’t last long. It’s going to pass. So maybe when it starts raining, you can do what I did. Just cover your ears to block out the sounds. All we can do sometimes is shield ourselves from it, you know? It would scare us a little less.”
“I don’t even remember how you did it,” he admits. “I felt so out of it that night.”
“But did it help?” You ask. 
He nods in response. “I wasn’t alone. I think that was the first time in a long time.”
“When you are, just do what I do,” you say, turning towards him and closing the distance to cover his ears with your hands. “Edge of the palms or your fingers then press tightly. The hollowness will drown out the sounds until they stop.” 
Jungkook’s eyes swim in yours. He can’t tell you that he doubts it’d work without you, since your comforting look and your calm voice are what made him pull through. But still, he knows that imagining you’re there would definitely help.
“Edge of the palms or your fingers then press tightly,” he repeats, almost like a whisper. “Got it.”
You smile and it’s like a spell for him, as he mindlessly puts his hands over yours and slowly brings them down. He’s so lost in you that he only realizes he’s still holding your hands when you look down, so he immediately pulls away.
“Who taught you how to do that?” He asks, masking his embarrassment.
“My mom,” you answer, shifting back on your seat and looking out at the horizon. “My dad copped out before he knew I existed and she was too heartbroken to ask for him back. It took a while but she eventually found another man. I was pretty young then. He was okay, but then he lost his job and things went downhill from there.”
Jungkook sees the way your face falls and he already knows his heart is going to break for you.
“He would drink a lot and they’d fight all the time. He’d yell and yell, and then yell some more,” you narrate. “Mom would make me hide in the closet or under the bed just so I’d hear less of it. Thunder used to scare me, too; it sounded like his banging on the wall when he’d scream at her but eventually, I realized the roar drowns him out so I welcomed it. But I would just cover my ears and think of happy thoughts like she said. Sometimes she’d come to me and do it like I did with you. I always liked that better.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, wanting to take your hand back and comfort you in any way. “You shouldn’t have experienced that.”
“Life isn’t fair sometimes,” you sigh, having accepted the hand you were dealt. “My mom and I got out and she found someone who loves and respects her. And we just found ways to deal with the pain, you know? We could only bury it for so long. And so covering my ears just became a habit as I grew up. It was a way to battle all that.”
“I’ve seen you do that a few times.”
“It’s like a general coping mechanism of some sort,” you explain. “Sometimes the loud sounds come from inside, too. Thoughts of not being good enough, of being selfish, of not deserving of happiness… I mean, they come from others but they stay in my head. I have to cover my ears to stop them from overwhelming me.”
“I’m sorry,” he says again, looking away in shame when you turn to him questioningly. “You did that several times during my first weeks. I know I… I said things that hurt you.”
“Hey, it’s okay. It was hard for everyone and like I said, I forgive you. But I've been told worse things,” you shake your head. “You’ve heard some of them.”
“You didn’t deserve those either.”
“I know. That’s why I walked away. It’s easy to do that when you don’t give much of yourself to them. And I do it all the time,” you say. “I never really stay.”
“Would you stay if you found the right person?”
You remember a conversation with him months ago, about people being temporary and how they’d only stay if they had a reason to. It’s safe to say that finding the right person would be your reason, but that also makes it harder. 
“I probably would,” you respond. “And I think that scares me, too.”
“Why?” He asks.
“What if I would stay for them? But they won’t stay for me?”
Jungkook leaves your question unanswered, knowing there’s nothing he can say that would sufficiently validate your fear nor comfort you about it. His own past relationship doesn’t give him any right - Chaerin left him but he gave her all the reasons to; she walked away and he did the same. Sometimes he wonders if she’d lost him before he lost her. He also doesn’t know if he loved her so much that he let her go, or if he didn’t love her enough to make her stay. Maybe it was neither. Or maybe he was just too scared - that she’d reject him, or that he wouldn’t be able to love her better if he she came back, he doesn’t know. He was never brave enough to find out.
He lets the silence linger, prompting you to remark that the conversation is too sad for a night as pretty as tonight.
“We should probably head to bed, though,” he suggests. “We still have stuff in the morning then a long ride home. I don’t have to remind you how hectic this next week is gonna be.”
“You just did,” you frown, earning you a laugh. “But I agree. Thank you for keeping me company tonight.”
Your shy smile makes his breath hitch. He wants this to go on for longer but he knows he might just let his guard down even more, maybe share about his other pains and frustrations and worries about life. Maybe he’ll end up moving closer to you, close enough that he’d smell your classic rose scent that makes his mind feel hazy. Maybe he’ll want more, and he reminds himself of all the boundaries he shouldn’t cross, and that crossing them may push you away. 
So he says goodnight and you both walk towards your respective villas, looking back one more time before heading inside. 
You’re all he thinks about for the rest of the night. His gaze follows you all through the next morning, too. He misses your presence when he leaves for Seoul in his own car, and he’s back to being a giddy mess when you message him, saying you hope he got home safely. 
It almost feels like the weekend was a dream and when Monday comes, he has to remind himself that he’s back to reality and that includes how he should be when it comes to you. Those days remain in his memory, but when you enter his apartment that morning with the softest smile, and when you meet his eyes as you fix his necktie, he knows it wasn’t a dream. And that somehow, just like him, you wish it didn’t have to end.
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It’s been over a week since the team building and you haven’t really moved on from all that happened during those three days. There was the joy of being with your colleagues and the companionship you felt thankful to have. There was also the tranquility of the lake and the refreshing environment that rejuvenated you, making you wish you were back there, especially as you sort through the printed photos from your disposable camera and see the pretty views that you already miss. 
There’s that photo you took of Jungkook by the stream that you’ve been staring at, another reason why you want to go back to that time. His eyes are warm and his smile is soft and subtle, unforced and just as captivating. It’s quite calming, and it’s the image that you hold onto later that Thursday evening when you’re piled under loads of paperwork. It’s past 6PM but you can’t afford to leave yet, and the only good thing about it is that he’s still around, and you get to sneak in some glances through the window.
You’ve become that person, smitten by her attractive boss and definitely stupid enough to be overwhelmed by her emotions. You haven’t stopped thinking about him. Everyday that you enter his space, the desire to know him more gets stronger; with every common place you step into, you keep wishing he’d ask you to stay close, that he’d invite you to somewhere reserved for those he lets in. Every time your fingers brush, you’re reminded of the way his hands felt on top of yours and how you wanted him to keep them there, and every look you share makes you hope that you’re not the only one in this mess of emotions. And that if you’ll give in, so would he.
You’re not quite sure what he feels, but if his shy smiles and the way he intensely looks at you before looking away mean anything, then you could at least say that there’s definitely something there. You just don’t know if he would acknowledge it or if like you, it’s gotten too strong that you’re unable to think clearly or act rationally.
Finally done with the last item on your task list for today, you start to pack up. It’s at the same time that Jungkook exits from his room to return a portfolio he took earlier and place it on your desk. You’re about to pick it up but he says you should just leave it there and fix it tomorrow.
But you disregard him. You retrieve the stool and attempt to return the portfolio on the top shelf. It’s a little heavy but you manage; you even start fixing the others that moved because Jungkook’s been getting them these past days. You’re about to step down when you hear his heavy sigh.
“I told you to do that tomorrow,” he groans, walking towards you. 
With your back turned, you reply, “I like starting my days with a tidy desk, okay?”
“It’s just one portfolio,” he points out.
“It still takes up so much space. It makes my table look messy.”
“You still could’ve waited. Or you could’ve asked me to help,” he insists, continuing to reprimand you as you try to step down the stool. 
He’s a little close, blocking your view of the floor, and that’s why you miss a step and trip again, your squeal echoing throughout the empty floor. You think your heart racing is about to join in on the sounds, too, as it quickens when you realize that Jungkook has caught you by your waist, his tight grip on you sending shivers down your spine. 
He’s gotten even closer, as you look up and find his scrunched eyebrows and worried eyes staring back at you. The tension starts to rise but you manage to tell him that you’re fine after he asks if you’re hurt. 
“I’m sure,” you tell him. “You caught my fall. Again.”
You giggle and that’s what makes him let out a laugh as well. Your left hand holds onto the shelf but his hands remain on you. He’s still a breath away but you suddenly don’t mind, as your right hand mindlessly makes its way to rest on his arm. At this moment, this feels right. You’re all alone in your little bubble with him where you’re all he sees and he’s all you can breathe in. 
His bergamot scent wafts through your nose. You can count his eyelashes and see the scar on his cheek that you never noticed. He’s even more breathtaking up close, and as if all reason evaporates from your body, you don’t pull away. You want him just like this.
On second thought, you want him even closer.
“You’re a clumsy woman, aren’t you?” He says, his voice low and deep. “This isn’t the first time that I’m breaking your fall.”
“Well, if you would just be quiet while I’m attempting to go down, then that wouldn’t be a problem,” you breathily giggle, inching the tiniest bit forward. 
“Well, if you just listened to me the first time, then you wouldn't have to climb up there,” he responds, earning him a playful roll of your eyes. “You’re a stubborn one, too.”
“So I’ve heard,” you match his teasing. “Can't help it sometimes.”
“So you acknowledge it?” He raises an eyebrow in intrigue. 
“Yeah, I guess,” you say much more nervously now, meeting his eyes. It’s like you’re hypnotized again, caught in some spell where being in his presence makes you honest and uninhibited. “I mean, I feel things I shouldn’t feel and want people I shouldn’t want,” you add. “Doesn’t that make me stubborn?”
“What’s stopping you from feeling them? From having them?” He asks, his voice remaining low and his eyes, even more piercing and desperate now as they stare back at you.
His thumbs lightly caress your waist and his touch electrifies you through the thin material of your blouse. There’s so much to say and it’s way more complicated, just as your feelings for him are. You can’t help but eye his lips, soft and pink, and the desire to know what they taste like intensifies, prompting you to nibble your own.  
“What’s stopping me?” You pant now, your gaze flitting from his eyes back to his lips, with him doing the same. “The ways of the world. And some… boundary that pulls me back, a line that I don’t know he’s ready to cross for me.”
The words actualize your fears the moment you say them. You know all the reasons why wanting him is wrong. But there’s a small part of you that wants to give in, and it’s terrified that he wouldn’t, that he’d dismiss what you feel and pull away. The way he’s been with you and the way he’s holding you right now spark that sliver of hope you have that he feels the same way, but it’s also the same moment that he lets you go, perhaps realizing that he’s not willing to take the risk the way you are. 
He releases you from his hold and steps back, creating distance, and you suddenly feel bare - exposed and unguarded without his touch. He looks at you in panic, in apology, in fear, as if he’d had some sense knocked into him, as if he awakened from some spell that pushed him close to you, only to realize that that’s a place he can’t go. 
“I—”
“I should go,” you interject, turning away so as not to see any more of the rejection in his eyes. “Have a good evening, Mr. Jeon.”
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1d1195 · 2 months ago
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BESTIE WDYM THE HONEY UPDATE WAS PUERLY SMUT?!?(also can’t believe I missed another poll?!? This is what I get for not being on my phone 😔) I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT SO IT WAS SURPRISING! I’m obviously not mad about it though lol NOW my mind is going crazy be he’s just down bad and I’m so loving it! He’s so😵‍💫 and she was literally about up kill him with going bare.. LIKE GIRL YOU KNOW DEEP DOWN THAT MAN WOULD GIVE YOU ANOTEHR CHILD IF YOU ASKED HAHAHA loved it lol also that “baggage” line :( omg ngl kinda felt sad lol anyways VERY excited to see how this all pans out! I have many questions!! Like does she actually believe that Harry is into her and it wanst just horny man brain talking? WILL HARRY BE MORE OPEN TO EXPRESSING HIS FEELINGS?! WILL SHE?!? Anyways bestie this part was wild and I loved it!
Missing a birthday trope is a very underrated! Like that hurts on so many levels lol it’s also so cute you’ve been hanging out with your baby cousin!! You just radiate being so good with children and actually enjoying it lol oh I LOVE he’s so jealous it just makes me giggle all the time! Oh bestie you did a great job writing it! I think I was also short circuiting bc I like imagined his HANDS(I typically don’t ‘see’ things when I read lol) so I was lowkey losing it too HAHA
Honestly it’s crazy how not having the proper insurance can lead to some having such horrible experiences and causing emotional/mental trauma! Like it’s a whole thing that I could go on about! But it does make me happy that you are able to at least feel not too scared to see the dentist anymore! It’s growth and that’s something to be proud of!
You have mentioned it!! And I don’t blame you for living it bc you basically experienced the whole vibe Twilight of it in real time and honestly bestie I love that for you! And omg those books you’ve mentioned sound so good!!! Currently I have seen a pattern where this era of mine included a lot of murder mystery and poetry?? So weird but some are kinda hitting ngl HAHA but you know I LOVE HEARING ABOUT THINGS YOU LOVE!!!
You truly wouldn’t survive that heat wave Sam, it was so brutal😔 also hope you’ll be able to get your heat compressor fixed!! And I’m sure it looks so cute how you decorated! The way you seem to write about your MC’s having a decorative touch, I’m sure that you have that as well!!
I’m so happy you had a good weekend and a good week!!! I feel like this is a win you needed!
My week started out pretty rough considering one of my dogs was acting a bit off. He’s fine like we took him to the vet and everything I just think he’s kind of sad? Idk but he’s fine now! But also I’ve been busy with adult stuff like calling in for bills/disputes and school stuff(so annoying tbh🙄). BUT I WENT THRIFTING TODAY!!! I got the cutest(in my opinion lol) dresses and a jacket! The dresses are both floor length so I’m debating on whether or not I should make them shorter! Plus one of them is a really pretty black velvet fabric which I was just in awe of! Anyways lol overall I don’t have anything planned like fun wise but I’m okay with that honestly lol I have until the end of the month to relax a bit which is okay!
Hope you have another lovely weekend!! Miss you loads and love you lots Sam!!❤️-💜
Good for you for not being on your phone! I feel like I'm doing too many polls tbh so don't even worry about it!
I'm saving a breeding kink for another one of my Harrys but this one is def going to be up there with him hehehehehe He is so down bad. Just lay him on the floor he's down. You will def see more of the baggage line. I had no idea I was going to get so much feedback on it! I forget how I came up with it in the moment. I just thought it sounded kinda needy and Harry of COURSE meant it and he will carry it, but he just wanted her to stop thinking (guess it worked 🤭) I love your questions so much! I can't wait to see what you think of the next part!
I have another missing bday trope coming up next week. Not as aggressive though. Idk there's just something about it, and making Harry grovel for forgiveness hehehehe
Babies make INTENSE eye contact with me at Target in the checkout line. My bf is so sick of it tbh hahahaha I make friends with every little baby and toddler. I have fairly curly hair (and with the humidity FORGET IT) I look like a frizzy mess but I think that babies don't see curly hair all that often? Idk. they stare at me for so long. Or maybe it's just i have this super friendly, wide open, baby-expressive face. I saw this girl on tik tok say she's not hot but she's cute because a guy won't ask for her phone number at the grocery store, but she will be asked for her phone number so she can babysit. That's probs me to a tee. A baby flirted with me in the ice cream line (idk what else to call it) but he was so adorable asking what flavor I wanted after I asked him and if he loved ice cream (I should probs stop I'm ruining a future story line 🤭)
There is something about Harry Styles' hands I will think about them every day of my life. I'm glad I could help you visualize it 😂
I have so much financial anxiety. I think I need to be studied. Like I wake up thinking about how much money I don't have and how I can't do ANYTHING fun lol
VERY interesting you have murder mystery and poetry! I wouldn't put those two together but I lowkey love that! I can so see that being your vibe though 💕
They fixed it pretty quick but Idk why public buildings WITH CHILDREN are not mandated to have AC. WILD to me. If I were a politician it would be my first decree. I do try to have an aesthetic but I think my aesthetic is a basic white 20-something millennial bitch 😭😭 so idk how aesthetic I really am
Oh no! Your poor puppy :( I'm glad he's fine now. Good to know dogs go through it too 😭 But he didn't deserve that. I got 0% satisfaction contacting financial aid or the bursar office at my college. I wrote on a survey "I want to jump in front of a car anytime I have to talk to financial aid office; they are the least helpful and friendly people I've ever had the PLEASURE of speaking to." I never heard back from my college about it and they never ask me for donations so I feel like that's the key to keep your money in your pocket. I love the sound of your dresses, especially the velvet one that sounds stunning! I'm envisioning a NYE party 😍 I'm a huge maxi dress fan. All my dresses are long. I love them!
I'm hoping to have a good weekend! Miss and love you too!!!!
xoxo
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garnetcapricorn · 6 months ago
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Solo is the "looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill someone" character:
(read more because spoilers obvs- Solo's story takes place after the main series plot. also this is kinda long)
He cuts the crusts off sandwiches and makes little radish roses for Luxen while Lux is a prisoner. adorable!
He adopted 5 cats and named them One, Two, Three, Four, and Five. Five ended up having kittens so I wonder how he'll name the babies? 5.1, 5.2, etc? or just Six, Seven, etc? or maybe Luxen persuades him to use actual names- the kittens were described as 'fluffy muffins' so I think names like Banana and Poppy would be cute. Apple fritter.
I did not expect Solo to embrace experimenting with kinks so quickly! Go boy go! Bondage? sure! 3+somes? fun! I would've loved to see what all Solo & Luxen got up to in the bedroom (and elsewhere👀 I'm guessing exhibitionism was gonna make the kink list at some point). Like, newly sexually awakened Solo trying to search "the sex" on some random person's phone was hilarious-- baby boi panicked and threw it in the river!🤣
Severn almost catching them at Solo's house was priceless lmao. Severn actually catching them on the roof(?) of Aerie's main chamber was less fun but it did fit the pacing so it's fine.
Luxen's character development was really well done, I think. I loved that he told Solo about being afraid of stars as a pup. And Solo being the perceptive little angel that he is totally read between the lines of Luxen's actions and pinned him for just trying to survive and only acting on the defensive throughout the war. Also ngl I was very glad to see Lux's pov and know that he doesn't use his allure to coerce any partners. Because, well, why would he anyway when he can pretty much pull anyone he wanted he's so hot.
On a lighter note, Solo getting ~distracted ~ by Severn's bod while they were breaking into Haven killed me🤣. I also just about died when Severn called him out for ogling Mikhail: "Solo's got a crush on you/ you're hot and he's horny"
Solomon's confession that he'd actually had emotions for a while and that he'd been mourning fallen brethren after battles was such a heavy scene. Dude straight up had suicidal ideation because he thought he was broken for feeling grief/sadness/loss.
He is fierce, too. He launched into attacking Severn when he found out the demon had been lying to them again (that plan did not go half as well as Severn had hoped 😬). Solo's the one Mikhail trusted with leading the angels liberated from Haven. Solo faced his death being bound and thrown off the Edge.
Solo is just precious and he & Luxen are going to be so good together 💛
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