#like that man is a FREAK! A S TIER FREAK! just because he doesn't do well in social situation bc he's a fucking deranged shut in-

[batsydoodle]

this might be me shaking a hornet nest but some of yall fully lost the plot with Battinson. Got to tone it down with the UwU smol bean crybaby-ification this is getting ridiculous, delusional dare i even say

[c0l0ure]

Okay so since having actually played through Sonic 06 (Along with Shadow Generations) a few weeks ago by this point and getting Aggressively Hyperfixated on Mephiles in particular, I've had some Thoughts about this freak:

1: I love the cutscene he's introduced in. You can clown on this game for weird voice acting/line delivery and off-putting animations in a lot of places, but this scene is actually very well done, in my opinion. I also ADORE how uncannily and creepily he moves. Not only does it succeed in making him look unsettling, but it also makes sense when you remember that he is absolutely not used to having a body at all, so of course he moves and stands really unnaturally and weirdly from our perspective. His head hanging down like he's not used to supporting the weight, the shambling walk, it's all top tier. Fight me, this scene fucking rules actually.

2: The contrast of the Duke referring to Mephiles as "it" while other characters refer to him as "he" is very interesting to me. Of course we all love neopronoun rep, but realistically it was most likely showing that the Duke does not see him as a living, sentient, and sapient being. It's a really, really interesting and important detail that I love the implications of. If there's one major compliment I can give to Sonic 06's story, it's absolutely the way that Mephiles in general was written. Obviously he's not correct for being so cruel and sadistic to anyone and everyone he meets, but also like... you can only really blame him so much. Being a victim doesn't always make you a good person or mean that your reactions to your trauma are justified 100% of the time, but it can explain a lot about you and help to put things in context

3: I REALLY wish we could have seen more of Mephiles and Shadow arguing with each other. The best moments between these two are easily when they're just talking to each other, not when they're fighting, in my opinion. Mephiles really does feel like an embodiment of all of the worst parts of Shadow in these scenes, and seeing Shadow stand up to him and call him out on his bullshit so directly is really amazing to see, but GOD I wish we could've seen more of Mephiles getting into Shadow's head even more. The moments he succeeds in doing that in the game are already really great, and it would've been fun to see it pushed harder. Especially contrasting Shadow's philosophy of "I suffered, no one else ever should" with Mephiles' philosophy of "I suffered, why shouldn't they?" and generally just really highlighting the parallels between these two with their backstories and traumas

4: Okay so literally everyone has talked about this, but OH MY GOD, HIS FINAL LINE IN SHADOW GENERATIONS, MAN- I am not over this quote, I never will be, it changed my fucking brain chemistry. Hearing someone usually as composed and outwardly calm as Mephiles desperately screaming that he wants to exist fucking shattered me. The fact that he's not just begging for his life, he's not fighting Shadow because he wants to end the world, he's not even necessarily fighting solely because he wants to kill Shadow, he just wants to EXIST AGAIN and is DESPERATE to achieve that. The way his voice breaks and he throws every last shred of power he has left at Shadow with that delivery is so depressing. Like, man, I should not feel as bad for Mephiles as I do, but GODDAMNIT, my heart is not made of stone and this reminded me of that fact

[ai-the-broccoli]

lawlight, told through taylor swift songs: a non-exhaustive list

no really, why do so many taylor swift songs fit Death Note (and sometimes especially Light and lawlight) so perfectly?

many others have already made pretty good posts on this topic before, but the parallels are truly kinda crazy, so here's my take on it. the rankings within each tier are not super fixed or meaningful, like honestly everything within each tier is pretty much the same degree of fitting to me.

(yes, I double-checked basically her entire discography for this. no, I still don't think this is a fully comprehensive list.)

Tier S - every single line is a fit

1. my tears ricochet (<- category C: "I Knew You'd Miss Me Once The Thrill Expired")

post L's death lawlight, from L's perspective: the song. nearly every line fits what the hell man. one of my favourites here

-> Full Lyrics

2. hoax (<- category C: "I Knew You'd Miss Me Once The Thrill Expired")

@kiyomitakada pointed this out and... yeah, every single line does fit! it's very lawlight from Light's perspective.

-> Full Lyrics

Tier A - the whole song fits well

3. Blank Space (<- category A: "Let the Games Begin")

we probably all know this one lol. while the idea that it was actually written as inspired by DN is a myth, it very much does fit.

-> Full Lyrics

and GOD did the MV imagery not help. like, I mean...

the MV uses a colour scheme of red/blue/black/white/green-ish, I think, which doesn't NOT look like the first OP of Death Note anime to say the least.

apple imagery. yeah. the above is literally something Light does in said OP. both song videos have close-up shot of biting a very red apple.

the character Taylor Swift plays in this video (who is supposed to be a satirical caricature based on media perception of her as a crazy obsessive jealous 'serial dater' women iirc) is depicted doing a lot of voodoo to torture her lover.

in one scene she seems to be in a great and dramatic frenzy with mixed emotions (sadness, desperation, manic, anger, hate, etc.) over the boyfriend character's... unconscious body? I'm not super sure if it's supposed to be unconscious. but it's like this:

and then after a while of this, we see a shot of her sneakily winking at the camera. but anyway so yeah this entire part weirdly actually reminded me of L's death scene for some reason lol

at the end of the MV there's a short B-T-S trivia clip. there's a freaking black notebook there:

it's titled "My True Loves" and the content has nothing to do with lawlight, because it just contains pictures of her cats... is what I'd say, but actually, if you stretch it a bit, there's a comparison to be made about the fact that J-Drama Light Yagami's actor is a cat lover who actually has a cat named L

anyway this isn't exactly a T-pose but it's not too far from one either

I think I've made my point.

4. Getaway Car (<- category B: ''Now This is An Open/Shut Case")

this is very the end of the Yotsuba arc to me, specifically from while they are catching Higuchi to after they catch him and Light regains his memories. man...

-> Full Lyrics

Tier B - largely/mostly fitting

category A: "Let the Games Begin"

the mind games begin.

1. Ready For It

Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him Wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom Holdin' him for ransom, some Some boys are tryin' too hard, he don't try at all though Younger than my exes, but he act like such a man, so I see nothing better, I keep him forever Like a vendetta-ta

and

Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me Stealing hearts and running off and never sayin' sorry But if I'm a thief, then he can join the heist, and We'll move to an island, and And he can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor Every love I've known in comparison is a failure I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now Never be the same now, now

+ the repetition of "Let the games begin". pretty self-explanatory

2. LWYMMD

I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!

...and more. also you know how she T-poses at the end of the bridge in the MV, as she stands over many many other past version of herself?

very lightcore pose. (and this isn't even to mention how she kicks off other, "weaker" versions of herself off the giant T in the same scene, which is... arguably also a symbolic parallel to when Light screams in the helicopter as he regains his memory, if you see it that way.)

3. cowboy like me

And the tennis court was covered up With some tent-like thing And you asked me to dance But I said, "Dancin' is a dangerous game."

Oh, I thought This is gonna be one of those things Now I know I'm never gonna love again

I've got some tricks up my sleeve Takes one to know one You're a cowboy like me

this one even has the freaking tennis mention of all things it could've included

4. Mastermind

So I told you none of it was accidental And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me I laid the groundwork and then saw a wide smirk On your face, you knew the entire time You knew that I'm a mastermind And now you're mine Yeah, all you did was smile 'Cause I'm a mastermind

honestly though, this one is more like the perfect Kaguya-sama Love is War Kaguya/Miyuki song. every single line fits them perfectly. but since lawlight also do mind games and all, the song also can be seen through a lawlight lens, although I maintain that it is still the perfect kaguprez song instead of a fully lawlight one.

5. Suburban Legends

I had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs Would surprise the whole school When I ended up back at our class reunion Walking in with you You'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries With the pages ripped out I am standing in a 1950s gymnasium And I can still see you now

I didn't come here to make friends We were born to be suburban legends When you hold me, it holds me together And you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

I know that you still remember We were born to be national treasures When you told me we'd get back together And you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

idk the vibes here kind of make me think of the entrance ceremony scene lol

category B: ''Now This is An Open/Shut Case"

the Kira investigation.

1. I Can See You

I can see you in your suit and your necktie Passed me a note saying, "Meet me tonight" Then we kissed and you know I won't ever tell, yeah And I could see you being my addiction You can see me as a secret mission Hide away and I will start behaving myself

the MV is important context here again, because actually, the official video for this love song depicts one person watching/"seeing" another person through - guess what - surveillance cameras. in reference to the title which is also a line repeated in the chorus. so that explains it I think. also it's implied to be about a workplace relationship

2. I Think He Knows

He got that boyish look that I like in a man I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans It's like I'm 17, nobody understands No one understands

[...]

He got that boyish look that I like in a man I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans He's so obsessed with me and, boy, I understand Boy, I understand

Light's pov. the title line "I think he knows" keeps getting repeated in the song which if you view it through a lawlight lens that might be about Kira lol

3. willow

Now this is an open/shut case I guess I should've known from the look on your face Every bait-and-switch was a work of art

The more that you say, the less I know Wherever you stray, I follow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that's my man You know that my train could take you home Anywhere else is hollow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that's my man

L pov-ish.

4. The Tortured Poets Department

You're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you?

And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me?

and also:

Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be 'Cause we're crazy So tell me Who else is gonna know me?

...as well as more lines in the song that expresses the same sentiments, like: Who's gonna hold you? Gonna know you? Gonna troll you?

in any case, "who else decodes you?" is definitely a lawlight thesis. imo. in fact I may have even actually started an essay on it in fic format with that thesis. or not? who knows! maybe one day you'll see...

anyway, this song is post-Yotsuba arc-ish to me, sort of.

category C: "I Knew You'd Miss Me Once The Thrill Expired"

L's death and Light's grieving, eventually.

5. Haunted

from Light's pov, especially in anime canon probably.

12. My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys

My boy only breaks his favorite toys, toys, oh I'm queen of sand castles he destroys, oh, oh 'Cause it fit too right Puzzle pieces in the dead of night I should've known it was a matter of time Oh, oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys, oh, oh-oh-oh

[...]

My boy only breaks his favorite toys, toys, oh I'm queen of sand castles he destroys, oh, oh 'Cause I knew too much There was danger in the heat of my touch He saw forever so he smashed it up Oh, oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys, oh, oh-oh-oh

which is quite fitting. moreover, there's this...

He was my best friend Down at the sandlot I felt more when we played pretend Than with all the Kens

...as well as the the original version below:

He was my best friend and that was the worst part I felt more then, in brief moments Than with all the Kens

L's pov. the "Kens" mention here is kinda like Light apparently having like 6 girlfriends in college and not caring about any of them despite being significantly bad at getting over L etc etc I think

8. Hits Different

I actually didn't think of this song in association with lawlight at all before I saw @selfdigestion bringing up the connection, and.... YEAH this is pretty lawlight-coded as well

I trace the evidence, make it make some sense Why the wound is still bleedin' You were the one that I loved Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough A wrinkle in time like the crease by your eyes This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief In the good in the world, you once believed in me And I felt you and I held you for a while Bet I could still melt your world Argumentative, antithetical dream girl

and also:

I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost Rip the band-aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw Freedom felt like summer then on the coast Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings

which is what the song is overall about. (there sure are a lot of Light pov songs in this category man)

and on the topic of "Kens", as it is with the previous time song, in Light's case it makes me again think of all his college girlfriends that he doesn't care about. I'm not going to comment too much on the gender-reverse implications this has for the narrator "I" in the song, but I would think that the original lyrics "bet I could still melt your world / argumentative, antithetical dream girl" with echoing repetitions on the phrase "dream girl" should've already done it for me. anyway. moving on.

10. Would've, Could've, Should've

If you never touched me I would've Gone along with the righteous If I never blushed then they could've Never whispered about this And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was

[...]

God rest my soul I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close Stained glass windows in my mind I regret you all the time I can't let this go I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time

I don't know how to explain this one, but it's... something. I think it only makes more sense as a lawlight song if you want to place emphasis on the age/maturity difference angle, although even without that it would still partly fit.

17. Guilty as Sin?

My boredom's bone-deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry?

I dream of cracking locks Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox I'm seeing visions, am I bad? Or mad? Or wise?

This, plus the fact that it uses similar imagery (dying in a hedge maze, crashing over graves, etc.) as Saltburn (2023), which... has that infamous grave scene that reminded every Death Note fan watching it of Light Yagami on L's grave.

13. cardigan

A friend to all is a friend to none Chase two girls, lose the one When you are young, they assume you know nothing

[...]

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young I knew I'd curse you for the longest time Chasing shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired And you'd be standing in my front porch light And I knew you'd come back to me You'd come back to me And you'd come back to me And you'd come back

yet another post-L's death lawlight song, this time with L+Light switching povs. with the final line I think of the anime scene when Light sees a vision/ghost/whatever it is of L on the stairs:

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite

Tier D - honourable mentions

The Prophecy

I got cursed like Eve got bitten Oh, was it punishment?

lightcoreTM

False God

self-explanatory title

You Are In Love

You kiss on sidewalks, you fight then you talk One night, he wakes, strange look on his face Pauses, then says, "You're my best friend" And you knew what it was, he is in love

Mr. Perfectly Fine

So dignified in your well-pressed suit So strategized, all the eyes on you Sashay away to your seat It's the best seat, in the best room Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins" So far above me in every sense So far above feeling anything

lightcore #2

You're Losing Me

doesn't fit that well lyric-wise, but it sure has got a heartbeat sound effect (sampled with her own I believe) in it referencing the stopping of a heart that sounds a lot like the one used to signal cardiac arrest in Death Note anime.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

Were you sent by someone Who wanted me dead? Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy? In fifty years will all this be declassified? And you'll confess why you did it And I'll say, "Good riddance" 'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden I would've died for your sins Instead I just died inside And you deserve prison, but you won't get time You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars You crashed my party and your rental car You said normal girls were "boring" But you were gone by the morning You kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing And in plain sight you hid But you are what you did And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive The smallest man who ever lived

lightcore #3

Anti-Hero

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

lightcore #4

Clara Bow

"The crown is stained, but you're the real queen Flesh and blood amongst war machines You're the new God we're worshipping Promise to be dazzling"

there is a joke I can make here about how "dazzling" is "kira-kira" in Japanese

lightcore #5

(man that's a lot of lightcore songs)

Other songs

...that grieve the loss of a lover,

or mentions a lover being a friend/not a friend;

songs with ghost/death/grave/tomb/cemetery imagery,

songs where the self or the lover is compared to God or a god,

songs that mention a difference in age or has the lover looking down on the narrator's maturity (e.g. illicit affairs, All Too Well),

songs where love is characterized as a game of cat and mouse;

and so on.

taylor swift seems to write about those motifs a lot, so there really are a lot of other examples to pull.

and that concludes my list, I think. there may actually be even more comparisons if you look into her album liner notes and such, but this is what I've got for now

[soul-mates-podcast]

Okay surgery recovery tier list. I added the rest of the Limbus characters, sorry if the Mahjong Soul characters rankings are dumb and stupid I don't know a lot about them (Except Kallen why didn't I know you did a Kallen episode I'm so mad I haven't watched that).

Explanations from bottom up:

Sinclair dies obviously, will be extremely embarrassed when Dante brings him back. Miyu tiny small child will make it with help of her tiny small child friends, but will have a bad time. Anju is same as Miyu but even worse cause Chunibyo. Yi Sang will be sick constantly and will be musing on pain and death for the entire duration and will fuck up his post op-med routine, but he will make it for no other reason than his desire to experience the whole thing. Kuyo is similar to Miyu, but weird demon thing will make it slightly easier. Shirogane is a fairly heathy young man, but maintaining his strange love denial thing will get in the way of his recovery a lot. Hana is just a girl, she will be fine but it will suck. Faust fairs a bit better than Yi Sang because of the network telling her the best way to recover and is generally emotionless, but it will slow her down a lot. Lin would heal fast as a dragon, but they would have to do strange stuff during the surgery to get around the dragon thing and she would NOT take her medicine. Hannah would be top of B, but her anthro nature messes up her post op-meds and it will be unpleasant for her. Fu and Kaguyahime are just normal women, they're just innocent women. Iwao is old but will have adrenochrome and infant blood pumped into his veins until he gets better, will have a longer initial hospital stay but will still recover normally. Joe "Ron" Mike Wazowski's Dad is a strong healthy man but probably doesn't deal with chronic pain well. He will recover at a normal pace but will need to take an extend leave from television. Gregor is a war vet and has had drastic surgery before but he does have weird bug blood in the bug arm and is not in his prim (which was not much better in the first place). Also he chain smokes which is going to slow things down. Outis is a war vet, very healthy and will follow her med routine down to the dot, not quite enough for A due to age though. Lily and Nanaha both have great blood flow as tall heathy women, pain will be a little bit easier to bare as they are good at putting up a face, will heal a bit faster than other people. Rodion will curse under her breath about it a lot, will bring up that she needs to recover a lot, but she would still heal fairly quickly and can power through a lot if she really needs to. Hong Lu is a strange pervert about everything and is really tough for some reason? Kallen is canonically recovers quickly and is quite tough in general. Heathcliff will bitch more than the other s tiers, but he will be just fine and can still do things fine. meursault Ryoshu actively enjoys pain and is a Ring experiment freak, will recover in no time. Ishmael is self explanatory, literally can't die nor feel pain when she doesn't feel like it and is generally pretty stoic. I can't say anything about Don Quixote without spoilers, but I have no idea where to put her.

meursault

thank you for your participation in this important experiment. you're going to be so embarrassed listening to our kallen episode, i forget literally everything about her im sorry i havent watched code geass in YEARS

[rynliadon]

notes I took during my second viewing of tros (on my phone in the theater because I'm that asshole)

Warning: many a spoiler for the rise of skywalker ahead. if you haven't seen it this post will ruin the whole movie

kylo ren is a nasty ass emo boy with gross hair but adam driver's voice? god tier

what are they doing with Palpatine in this why wouldn't they just leave him dead

goddammit my dad figured out the big twist in the first five minutes

JJ ABRAMS IS A LIL BITCH FINNPOE WAS RIGHT THERE BUT HE GAVE POE SOME FUCKIN RANDOM ASS HETERO LOVE INTEREST OUT OF NOWHERE

cannot emphasize enough that kylo ren is gross

"I'm just... not feeling myself." -rey skywalker, 2020

okay is it nighttime or daytime make up your fucking mind

hold up the sith have their own goddamn LANGUAGE

wait who tf is rose. didn't she die last movie

my assholery is really showing as I spoil the movie for my family

leia: "never be afraid of who you are." rey: does the exact goddamn opposite

okay darth vader wannabe

the festival scene was actually really cool

rey you're too good for ben, he's a freaking douchebag. don't take his hand blergh

a thought: polyamorous rey x finn x poe

way to make an entrance lando

what is disney's thing with bloodlines?? WHO YOUR PARENTS ARE DOESN'T FREAKING MATTER 90% OF THE TIME. WHO YOU'RE RELATED TO DOESN'T MAKE UP YOUR PERSONALITY TF

they fly now? seriously?

yep. star wars would definitely kill all the important people a third of the way into the movie /s

I know they did their best because Carrie Fisher died, but all of her scenes fall flat. she barely talks and when she does it's ridiculously vague.

are the sith a nation? do they have their own planet? lore? are they ALL bad?

yes I just healed the snake thing with my magic, what about it

now we know what the baby yoda healy thing is ig

is Finn force sensitive? could he become another jedi?

just the IDEA of facing ren is giving rey a panic attack but sure reylos they're meant to be

how the fuck is kylo even ALIVE what the FUCK

they both be vibrating doe

POLYAMOROUS REY X FINN X POE THOUGH

[leaves to refill popcorn]

what is a spice runner? why is that significant?

zory's alright but I just HATE that they gave pie a hetero love interest

they gotta stop killing characters just to bring them back

jj abrams is still a lil bitch

how did they remember what 3PO said? I IMMEDIATELY forgot

ngl poe damaron is kinda hot. my inner bi is showing

oh what your girlfriend never tried to kill you before?

oh what your boyfriend never tried to control you by making him your only option?

oh what your girlfriend never stabbed you in the gut?

oh what your boyfriend never pinned you down and almost murdered you?

I miss han solo

okay tbh, Ben had potential for a redemption arc. there just wasn't enough of it there, and too much violence against his supposed love interest and everyone else.

the sith robe people don't seem real. neither does palpatine tbh. they just feel like ghosts.

why can't we explore the jedi and the sith as valid, opposite parts of the force. just like mistborn and avatar the last airbender. they're both necessary for balance.

yessss finnpoe the cogeneral boyfriends

tbh the lesbian kiss at the end pissed me off. I'm glad they know at this point that representation is important and including the gays gets them a wider audience of people who don't hate them but it pisses me off that they'll do the bare fucking minimum and praise themselves for it. a 2 second lesbian kiss, one unnamed gay man, both cut out for international audiences.

the sith audience served zero freaking purpose. they were just. there.

oh so the sith formed a choir huh. between the murdering and the evil they practice ominous harmonies

ow I ate too much popcorn

that lightning shot looks really cool

can't really see it but it's super badass

I'd be mad if they did kill someone I care about but I'm also mad they didn't. where are the stakes

They're blurry but I got a pic of the lesbians

I hate that reylo kissed but GOD the look he gave her when they pulled away.... watch me start to cry. adam driver you're incredible

I'll take this as confirmation that my rey x finn x poe ship is sailing

oh shit is it illegal to take pictures? woops

what happened to tatooine though? it's completely empty

"rey who?" *TEN HOURS LATER* "rey skywalker."

why the fuck does rey have a gold lightsaber? when did she even have time to make it?

jj abrams is still a lil bitch

You're welcome that was my commentary

Review

I liked the glimpse into Poe's past, but if I were in charge I would have made Zory an ex-boyfriend, and instead of Poe asking "can I kiss you?" it's Zory, and Poe says something angsty about being in love with Finn. I enjoyed the continuation of Finn pining after Rey, but I wish that he'd realized there was no hope and started to move on a bit. (with poe obviously.)

This is a bit of a we'll-never-be-happy-with-anything commentary, but I wish that an important character died without warning. they kept killing but bringing back characters (chewie and 3PO) and magically getting characters out of ridiculously dangerous situations (skimmer on water, climbing around the death star, about to fall off the star destroyer). I'd be mad if a character died, but I'm mad none of them did, if that makes sense.

I think that the Rey and Ben force diad thing whatever and their entire relationship had tons of potential, but they executed it terribly. They made kylo ren an unlikable character when he killed han solo for one, and the fact that they kept trying to kill each other made it impossible for me to root for them as a ship. However, I loved the ending they had, standing together against Palpatine. (side note- making Rey a Palpatine was GENIUS. big fan.) also adam driver and daisy ridley are incredible actors.

Main takeaway-- it could have been better, but I'm really happy with it. Overall I enjoyed watching it, which is the #1 priority for any movie, the twists and character arcs landed well to me, it had a satisfying ending to the trilogy. I'd watch it a third time. jj abrams is still a coward bitch but I can look past it.

[tate-lin]

SLIZTLIFZLFX YES

Like, Alfreddd I love you, but being raised by a butler family and military training with a dad who left you to take care of someone else did you absolutely no favours in knowing how to rear a child 😭

I've always headcanonned that it's because of his familial and military background that that was why he didn't consider therapy as an option for Bruce. He had spent his entire life believing that his own trauma was just sth he had to get over through the Power of Resilience and Emotional Suppression so that was what he ended up teaching Bruce. And it was only cause Bruce tried to commit suicide and then later ran away to do his globe-trot and become Batman did Alfred realise ah bloody hell, I fucked up my kid and put in the effort to change and re-adjust his worldview to be softer and kinder and healthier

But by then it's too late, cause the Bruce who returned home was an adult with a Mission and a deep-seated judgement towards therapy. Even after he recognises its usefulness and importance in society, he still shies away from it. It's a tool everyone else can use... Except for him. And at that point, Alfred knew there was no changing his mind, short of dragging him there himself, but he won't because Bruce is an adult now and Alfred's not the foster father anymore, he's just the butler

(I. Want. To. SCREAMMMMM OMG AM I THE ONLY ONE GOING CRAZY HERE?? THE TWO OF THEM CAN BE SO ALIKE IN THEIR THINKING SOMETIMES, IT'S NUTS. Like how Bruce is with Jason... I mean, it's obviously not an exact 1:1 parallel, but I think Bruce would have dealt with Jason better if he didn't have this thinking of oh, my kid is an adult now and he says he doesn't want me around so I'll respect his wishes even though anyone with fucking eyes can see that Jason still wants Bruce around, he just didn't want this whole situation he was stuck in to be around! He wants Bruce's love!! He wants a dad who shows he cares!!! He wants his life at the mansion back!!!! SCREECHHHHHHH)

Holy shit, I'm going nuts

ANYWAY, as for what you said at the end-

Even though Bruce was weighed down by all his trauma, he still used all the experience and wisdom he gained from his own pain to be there for Dick at one of the lowest moments of his life, and teach him how to move past it

The timeline for the batfam is always weird and wonky, but I think the common consensus is that Bruce was only 24 when he took 8yr old Dick in as his ward. And it's seriously not easy for a person in their early 20's to care for a child, y'know? But he still did it anyway cause he knew how it was like to lose the two biggest people who made up his entire world and watch everyone just-

Move on with their lives without them. All while he's completely, emotionally on his own, processing his grief and rage and missed opportunities because the people he loved most in the world are gone, gone, gone

He knew how that was like, so he took in this rage-filled boy desperate for revenge and for someone to be responsible for the worst thing that had happened to him, and taught him how to turn his directionless grief into sth that could protect others from their own

Because man, no one can convince me that Dick was still a sweet sunshine child fresh out of his parents' deaths and getting accidentally stuck in juvy cause all the orphanages were full and social services had no idea where tf to put you. His canonical anger issues and that seething fury towards Zucco didn't come out of nowhere, y'know? That shit is traumatising

(Btw if you wanna read a fic that talks about Bruce dealing with tiny furious Dick, I've got one here! I also recommend jerseydevious's (another author's) stuff in general; the stuff she writes is freaking god-tier👌🏽)

I love how the Batfam are like

Bruce we hate you cause you don’t show you care. Never say what you mean. Secretive and suck with emotions.

And then go

Alfred! The most amazing being alive! The one who ignored a young crying Bruce and kept his distance and it was only after teen Bruce tried to off himself did you even realize you were wrong in doing that. Still didn’t change much and only got better after Bruce grew up to be like this and comfort and love us like you never did with Bruce cause you felt his child self was your boss so not your place to comfort him so not to “try to take the place of his parents” and not even get him any ducking therapy despite the fact the man probably suffers severe mental illness! We love you Alfred but Bruce? Go fuck yourself

I bet it’s been a long time since someone genuinely told Bruce they loved him. That’s so sad