#like tag it 'vent' or 'toxicity' or something lmao

[teenagefeeling]

untagged triggering mental health vent blogs on this site are the bane of my existence

[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

hi what is wrong with me

[mintaikk]

The way we treat teen girls who like something vs the way we treat teen boys who like something is.... not great

[alnilaem]

a toxic ghoap wip i had in my drafts from months ago but will no longer be continuing. i just wanna dump it here lol

cw for misogyny, smut, (internalized) homophobia, hedonism, sacrilege, prostitution mention, ghost is an ass

pls heed all tags, this was a vent fic, and also bare in mind im never gonna finish this lmao

-

Johnny's world is asymmetrical.

His world. His beginning and his end. Humvees and Dauphin 2 helis and deployments around the globe. Undercover operations, saving women and children, the comforting carbon steel of a rifle in his hands. 

It’s an unspoken stigma, but it’s there. Materialising as insults while his lads take the piss out of each other, and in the form of dishonourable discharges. 

The stigma has always been there. It has no start and no finish, so Johnny can’t remember where it came from, but he knows it was there since primary, where boys would kick girls at the bends of their knees and yank on their pigtails, squatting to the floor to get a look-see up their chequered skirts and cackle, all while Johnny stood off to the side, overtly uncomfortable. 

Mum’s complained. Teacher’s were involved. Dad’s simply said, “Boys will be boys,” and the situation was brushed under the carpet.

The stigma tailed Johnny into secondary school. His older cousin lent him a suit for formal, which prompted Johnny awkwardly standing on his doorstep with his date—a pretty lass named Rory—as his mam snapped a spate of photos. 

Johnny’s disposition was a grave juxtaposition to Rory’s. She was all grins and giggles, cantered into Johnny’s arm, while he was inelastically poised with tight lips. 

His mam wouldn’t stop pinching his supple cheeks, trying to shepherd a smile out of him. She gave up, throwing her hands in the air and wheedling them off the porch, tacking on an ornate, “Have fun, kiddos!” as they pooled into Johnny’s scrap metal car. 

Johnny felt as if he was lacking something. As if his wings had been clipped by the world a little too soon. It’s always been like that. A piece of him plucked from his wracking ribs and stolen, ever since he was a little boy. So in a lapse of judgement, in order to prove himself, to shatter the bubbling stigma, Johnny sought out the most masculine thing to offset his failure: follow in the steps of his cousin, and enlist. 

It was a rashly undertaken decision, but a decision he stuck with, because, for the first time in forever, Johnny’s old man clasped his shoulder in pride. 

But stigma was an incessant little thing. Because even in military school, it followed him closely. As Johnny’s school brothers had Playboy rafts and pin-up girls folded into their pillow cases, he would blunder upon being asked, “Who’d ye shag?” by his mate. 

In boot camp, he was a lowly private, whose hands would jade and cramp from cleaning rifles. They gave him blisters. And so his bunkmate—a nice lad from Glasgow with a crooked nose—would tend to his fingers during their lunch routine. Hidden somewhere in the corner, making jokes about their Drill Instructor. Callum, was his name. He’d swathe Johnny’s hands in gauze and garnish it with a lopsided smiley face. It always sucked, fell apart half way, but he did it anyway. 

That’s when Johnny started blistering his hands on purpose. 

Wedging his thumb in the dip of a garand and not pulling it out until it was swollen. Then he’d snivel, seeking Callum out in their barracks. There was a pull in Johnny’s stomach, half of an ebb that finished Callum’s flow. It would give him rashly undertaken ideas—such as fixing his hand in the lid of an armoury shell—for Callum to fix up. Johnny would find him among their other friends, beseeching with his cobalt eyes, holding out a hand.

In enlistment, his confusion ripened into a gravely miscalculated realisation. That it wasn't an affinity for men Johnny wanted to be—to attract ladies with his chest candy and the brandished title of military man—no, it reared its ugly head when Johnny finally became his own private. Grinning, at the time, clean-shaven and giddy as his mother snapped a spate of photos of him saluting in his new uniform, plaintively whining when she reached out to adjust his garrison cap because “It’s lopsided, pumpkin!” To which Johnny, under the searing gaze of his fellow privates, would clip, “‘Cos it’s meant to be like tha’, ma!”

Johnny didn’t know when it started. He just remembered realising how good Callum looked one day at the range—sweat sluicing down his pale neck, disappearing behind his lapels, ass filling out the space of his pants as he would squat to the ground and aim for the faraway target. Before he knew it, Johnny was seizing lights out. Using the time to sneak off to the bathrooms and cramp a fist around his leaking cock, beating his dick to the thought of him. Him, him, him. 

Johnny’s sordid thoughts didn’t emulate what his granny had planned for him—to pass down her old wedding stack once he “Found the right lass,” to bring home to her; it wasn’t what the Orthodox spiels of sermons and hymns and praise on Sunday’s drilled into him; it wasn’t what his uncle was anticipating—“Got a girlfrien’ yet, Johnny-boy? Ah, why’re ye frowning! Soon enough, ye will.”

His fantasies rivalled those of his squadmates. Because on his first tour, a summer ten years ago in the chilly expanse of Northern Ireland was a woman that approached them. Denim skirt and a mulberry red halter top. Kitten heels, sunglasses. Shiny lipgloss. She tried to ply them by batting her eyes, offering her services. She was smart. Military men always paid. It’s the desperation that got to them most of the time, a tinge of worry, and a hint of entitlement. They took the bait. Rode her back to camp and took their turns with her.

When it was Johnny’s turn, he listlessly declined and hung his head. He said he had a lass waiting for him back home—Rory—that’s the first name that popped in his head. His secondary school girlfriend in which he sobbed on when he tried kissing her. Johnny said he had a bird, just like all his other lads, with pictures of their wives and girlfriends pinned to the massive cork board in the middle of their camp. But they had no problem indulging themselves. 

They were shoving him around, calling him all sorts of names, bullying him into following them. And that’s when Johnny caved. A cacophony of hollers flared out around him as he ducked into the tent where the woman lay, thin bed sheets hiked up to her collarbones, her previous lipgloss smeared over her chin.

Johnny said, “Hi, how are you?” Because that’s what his mother taught him. She softly giggled. 

Not at him, but with his overdue respect.

Johnny shucked off his uniform with trembling hands, mounting her with his dick flaccid and stomach flipping. He remembers ruminating, “Why don’t you like it? You should like it. Love it,” but his heart leapt to his throat and his navel twisted, heart seized as the head of his cock kept slipping around her messy opening, poking her thigh. His throat constricted, dry, then slackened. A muffled sob wracked through him. Barely concealed by the threshold of his thin lips. He pushed his tongue into the roof of his mouth and buried his face in the crook of her neck, collapsing into her bare chest, furiously wiping his tears into the inflatable mattress.

Then, the body beneath him quivered. Johnny hoisted himself up, a spiel of apologies curling off of his tongue, when he realised she was crying too. The same type as him—wrung out, jaded, tired. She blindly reached out for him and pulled him close. Not reaching for his dick nor biting sensual whispers into his ear. They held each other for a little while, coalescing as their cries muffled into each other’s skin. Then, she pushed him off. Slid off the mattress and snaked her into her clothes. 

They both left the tent shaking. She was still sniffling. His lads cheered as she walked away and clapped him on the back. 

That’s when Johnny realised there wasn't a place for him in his world. Johnny shrunk himself, half the light he used to be, pushing himself into a little box as his world around him clipped off his wings. 

Now, Johnny’s world consists of something a little different. 

Something sinewy and rough around the edges. Gruff, but tactical. Calm, akin to the placid sea, but could flip a switch and emulate its choppy waters if he wanted to, too. Big, striking, with eyes that could kill a sailor. A deep timbre mandated by Manchester. Wide-set shoulders but a willowy waist, hips that sway as he walks. A macabre mask and skeletal gloves—ones that have Johnny wrapped tightly around his fingers.

Johnny grew into himself between serving in the parachute regiment to selection for the SAS. He got rougher. Learned how to hide himself better. Perfectly fit himself within the Task Force, around men who would become his best friends and brothers. He’s otherwise your normal guy. Goes to the bar with the team when they’re able. Shooting darts with Gaz (“You’ve got a Marksman badge but can’t score more than two points? C’mon, mate…”); pool with Price; and drinks with Ghost.

Beer always sloshes over the lip of Ghost’s glass when they clink their drinks. It crashes up and over the Brit’s fingers, dripping down his hands, between his thick fingers. Johnny always resists the urge to lean in close and lick the wash of alcohol glistening Ghost’s knuckles. 

But they’re just friends. Apparently. Because friends don’t fuck.

It started way down in Chicago’s heart, after another op. Gaz—ever the exploiter of his puppy eyes—managed to ply Price into stopping at a bar instead of heading straight back to base for paperwork. So they stopped at a little hole-in-the-wall, still rife with adrenaline, spreading out and all doing their own thing.

Johnny and Ghost were sat around a rickety table with wobbly legs. A spread of peanut shells around them and sticky rings of alcohol from their glasses glossing the surface. Ghost raised an arm to wipe his eyes, knocking over Johnny’s beer in the process. An expletive crossed the Brit’s tongue and he apologised, grasping a fistful of napkins and scrubbing it over Johnny’s soaked shirt. 

It ebbed and flowed in long, rough strokes. Ghost’s hand gliding over Johnny’s legs, Ghost’s middle finger and thumb snapped around Johnny’s thigh, his grasp cutting into the sinews. 

It wasn’t that different from suturing a teammate up after a mission. But with the unsaid admiration Johnny had for him, tempered by the hint of alcohol on the roof of his mouth and the hazel canopy of Ghost’s lashes, over his focused eyes, arousal quickly seized Johnny.

Ghost’s hand brushed over a tent on Johnny’s jeans. One that hadn’t been there before. He cut his next stroke from the root, pausing, and blinked up at his friend. 

The Scotsman felt a wound up spring in his stomach. He turned away, smacking Ghost’s hand, and ran a hand through his black tuft of hair, slapping both sides of his shaved heads. He felt his lungs betray him—squeezing like dried fruit and refusing to expand—to yield to his sudden heavy breathing and quick succession of heartbeats.

Johnny shook his head. Sputtering. “Lad, y’know, sometimes we can’t control ‘em–” 

The words died on his tongue when Ghost flattened hand against the bend of his knee. He was testing the waters. 

Johnny looked back, gulping, and took the bait. He inched his knee closer, until it met with Ghost’s thick leg. It’s something he’s done so many times. When he was starved for friction but couldn’t make it overtly obvious—grazing Ghost’s hand passing him a flare; knocking his foot under the table during debrief (“Sorry, lad,”); applying extra gauze to a slice in his torso just to feel Ghost’s chest throb below his fingers a little more.

But this is different. Something Johnny’s chased for so long. A tangible ghost on his tongue for a flavour he’s longed for with just fantasies while he fucked his fist late into the night. 

Ghost tightened his hold on Johnny’s thigh. “Sons of bitches, ain’t they?” 

His voice was taut. As was the muscle between Johnny’s shoulders.

They exchanged a glance. Soundless, but not wordless. Then Ghost slunk his hand down and wrapped it around Johnny’s swelling cock. 

The feeling of it—a sensation so foreign, so yearned for—penetrated Johnny’s core. It made him yelp and jerk his knee into the table, sending more beer spilling over the rim of his glass and onto his pants. 

Ghost hummed, shook his head. “C’mon, Johnny, let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” And he inclined his head towards the bathroom in the back. 

Johnny blindly nodded, yielding to Ghost’s hold as he hoisted him from his seat. Ghost directed them through the sea of gyrating bodies and towards the toilets. They bursted inside, and the Brit pulled Johnny into the last stall. A seedy little thing, with graffiti and the ash of cigarette butts welded into its walls. 

The succeeding acts were a blip in the streamline of Johnny’s memory. He remembers Ghost shucking his pants down, then settling himself behind him. He remembers Ghost’s gloveless hand reaching around and working over his drooling cock. He remembers a voice in his ear, “What the fuck are we doing,” and a bulbous cockhead poking his ass. He remembers the shrill rattle of the stall hinges as he withered against it, trembling under Ghost’s deft hands, the finger that swept over the slit of his cock and slipped down to fondle his balls. 

Before white-hot pleasure seared his vision, Johnny remembers emptying his come into the crotch of his denims, shaking, as it dampened his pants and as Ghost commanded him to pull it back up. 

They left the bar alongside each other, meeting everyone else on the pavement. Johnny’s lips were popped open and swollen. Peeling, from how his teeth had sunk into them. His eyes were glossy and his hair was tousled in the middle of his head. He had a wet patch on his jeans.

“Oh, you are pissed, mate,” Gaz exclaimed, “I– that’s pee?”

“Spilled some water,” Ghost lied to the other teammates, “had to sort him out.”

They made it back to base within hours, signing off to their quarters. 

The next day, Johnny didn’t see him at all. 

The day after that, too; Ghost didn’t even spare him a glance.

He tried reassuring himself. Ghost hadn’t talked about men before—not in this calibre—so Johnny told himself it’s because he was digesting what rashly happened in Chicago. 

That was, until, he was paged one night. A command from Ghost to meet him in his quarters. The message was succinct: one sentence, leaving no lines to be read between. Johnny walked ambled to his room with his heart in his stomach and his blood rushing to his ears. Nudging the door open, Ghost was on the edge of his bed, legs parted, smarting denim-washed jeans and a black pullover. A simple, soft gauze balaclava. 

His eyes slid upwards first. Then the rest of his head. Ghost pinned Johnny under his smouldering gaze, then beckoned him forward with the tilt of his head. No words were swapped. Ghost simply tugged Johnny forward, between his thick thighs, and bullied the Scotsman to his knees with a hand splayed over his half-shaved head. 

Johnny’s eyes widened. He popped his lips open to speak—lips Ghost whispers his thumb over to seal shut, uprooting his words from its step. Ghost shook his head, undid his belt with a single hand, and shucked down his jeans. He palmed himself for a while, watching Johnny’s eyes sheen over, before pushing his boxer-briefs scarcely over his meaty thighs, pinching the head of his cock. 

Ghost didn’t even bother pulling his balls out. Just his dick—long, thick, a comely vein running beneath it—better than anything Johnny’s ever wanted. Better than the images he’s fucked his fist to, memories of Ghost, freshly out of the shower after sparring, his thin towel outlining the barest hint of his dick. 

Johnny reaches out, but Ghost swipes it back. He tuts and softly smacks his cock against Johnny’s ruddy cheek, watching as a string of his precum connects to Johnny’s face. 

“How bad do ya wan’ it, Johnny?” Ghost had prompted, swiping his cockhead over the Scotsmans lips, then pulling it back whenever his jaw readily slacked. 

“Real… real bad, Lt.” He breathed. 

Ghost tapped his cheek again. “Open.”

And so Johnny did. Like it was second nature, like he’s been wanting for so long. Waiting for so fucking long. 

Johnny’s lips popped open and closed around Ghost’s wet tip. He swirled his tongue around it, clumsy in his movements, teeth grazing Ghost’s skin.

He winced. “Easy…”

Johnny blinked in a rapid succession, nodding, sucking him in a little deeper, mindful of hollowing out his cheeks and relaxing his jaw. Ghost’s eye twitched, hands digging into his tuft, hanging his head back, softly bucking his hips up into Johnny’s mouth. 

“Atta boy, Johnny, fuck– where the fuck’d you learn this, eh?”

Johnny replied with a gargled purl of precum and saliva coalescing in his mouth, gagging over the wide girth splitting his jaw open. Ghost laughed, his gloved hand settling on the scruff of Johnny’s neck, pulling him a little closer; sinking his cock a little deeper, rutting his pelvis into his squadmate's pliable mouth.

Ghost cums. Johnny laps it all up. And in an undertaken lapse of judgement, rises to his feet, puckering his frosted lips, ready to hike Ghost’s balaclava above his nose and share his taste with him. But Ghost set a hand to Johnny’s face, shaking his head. He tucked his softening cock back into his pants.

That was the first instance Johnny disregarded. One he ignored in favour of indulging himself in something he yearned after for years. He didn’t realise his grave digging began there—when he witlessly nodded in response. 

And from there, it became a cycle. It was always on Ghost’s call. Never Johnny’s. When Ghost wanted his dick sucked; when Ghost wanted a wet and tight hole wrapped around his cock. Johnny knew better. He knew he was being shepherded into something bad, but he couldn’t help himself.

Trembling under Ghost, his whole world encompassed by the Brit’s towering stature, was all that mattered to him. Getting spread over a cock he’s wanted for so long, a long ways from the taboo fantasies that’s collected cobwebs in his thoughts for so long.

Johnny was less of a teammate, more of an outlet for Ghost to exhaust his frustrations into. Even then, it was a pill Ghost had trouble swallowing. As if he’ll acknowledge it, and a relationship will materialise. So he stays still—fucks Johnny like a dirty little secret then turns the other way. 

Johnny tries talking to him. Tries telling him he struggled with the same thing. That he isn’t alone and that he belongs here. That there’s no shame in it. 

Simon collapses Johnny’s pleads with a final, resolute bark. “I ain’t gay, mate. You’re a friend helping a friend.”

-

basically it ends with Simon shepherding Johnny into some hedonistic, one-sided relationship. Johnny just accepts it bc if Simon wont love him, he’ll do it by proxy, because hes all fucked out and desperate for him🖤🖤

[t00nyah]

If you could make your own video game (think of an idea l and it just snaps into existence somehow) what would it be about and what mechanics would it consist of? What platforms would it be available for? Who's the target demographic? Or anything else you want to ramble about... I like to think of creating my own games sometimes.

haha they dont know i have a joke rpg game i made in a day to test my abilities.

in all seriousness though, i actually did have bigger projects that i never finished... so, just gonna drop that i'm a big fan of RPG maker games, horror ones, PSYCHOLOGICAL horror ones for even better score. and i am kind of a liiiittle experienced with rpg maker.

warning!!

this answer ended up containing a lot of sensitive topics(in my opinion??) and i tried my best to make sure to include them in tags AND before each idea's explanation, please check the tags and not proceed if those topics are sensitive to you personally!!

i had a project that i started making as a vent. that's the closest i had to actually making something. it was called zepphire's lair. zepphire is my sona from 2015 that had very bright neon colours that were probably UNBEARABLE to look at, then i tried redesigning her years later into something pastel. and then, umm... in 2022 i had issues with my style because i used to be VERY caught in 'oh,,,this one line is weird,,,how do people even like my art there's a stray pixel there...god.' and decided to do something about it. this 'something about it' was changing my art style to PURPOSEFULLY unpleasant to look at, messy and annoying. it was bright, i didnt care, and honestly i think it helped with being that critical to myself. anyways. sorry im rambling but it is important

so in 2022, when i had a giant relief of drawing in the most unbearable(and stunning at the same time) art style, i reused zepphire. FUCK PASTEL said me. NEONS ARE GOOD. it was a great decision.

so zepphire's lair was meant to be an rpg game where you play as zepphire. who in her head is still her young self that doesn't have to think about what happened. but in reality, her magical world she was meant to become a god of was destroyed and ruined because she wasn't responsible enough with powers granted to her. she is now the only resident of the Forbidden Location, an alternative world that people could get into by just clipping randomly. like you know when you find a spot in a videogame that doesn't have an invisible wall and you go OH. that. i wasn't sure how to continue working on it because it lacked story to tell as present. it had a past story to unfold, but i had no idea what would happen now. i had a thought of someone getting into FL somehow after long time and zepphire trying to solve this because they're clearly not meant to be there while in her head she's still stuck struggling with herself.

i want to put a little bit of assets i made for zepphire's lair, but since it's all very bright toxic neon i think i'm gonna place them at the veeeery end so you don't have to look at them if you can't stand it.

CW: cartoon blood!! a little bit of it!!

next up is my cool idea of a fangame! so, purrfect apawcalypse is one of my favourite game series. and i've been following it since first one and i have a LARGE fanmade setting set in the same universe! (in fact, two! i also made a reference for kitsune high which is set to be in an agricultural town inhabitated by foxes! it was a cool project)

the game idea was to make an rpg (because, again, that's all i know, lmao) that follows the Chatting club - a school interest club literally dedicated to rumors and just having a good time - as they unveil the secrets their school holds. cats and dogs disappearance cases? rumors of ghost around? who the heck lives in the garden and what're they up to? what is up with the Detective club's president Seraphima? there are many mysteries. it would have an overall vibe of the original novellas' series - a cutesy game about very cute furries and weird magic stuff happening, while also having a little bit...darker tone. like i was actually going to explore a very dark topic with this one but honestly? right now i really don't like the way i wrote it back then. if i were to pick up the idea again i deffo would try to rewrite it and make more sense into it. i like the detective vibe it had going though!

here are some references of the characters that are important to the plot! a lot of twists were planned for this story and i'm not going to tell them all because it's a secret tee-hee.

also as i searched for the refs i found that the working title of the game was 'purrfect meowting'

another concept for a game i had...which is a lot.

CW: contains themes of child neglect, probably abuse, general cat mistreatment, probably a bit of ableism(im unsure about this one) and maybe a bit of weird racism because one of mc's character's parent is weird and very stupid and we are allowed to hate her for that...i hope i mentioned it all.

i have a little ocs setting with three main characters that i refer as 'kitty girls' this story is tragic and is based on idea i had about making a story...about girls...but put them into life situations that would reflect what cats sometimes have to go through bc some humans are trash, but put it through a human lens, although not exactly. it also ended up a story that portrays children who've lost their childhoods for various reasons. idk how to explain.

these are Snowwhite, Rouge and Patches. their names were meant to be reflecting what another one's kitty sona is, but i fucked up, lol.

Showwhite is a picture perfect girl for her parents who's mostly been treated as a prize all her life, making her feel sick of herself. Rouge was neglected by her mom because 'she wasn't born red'(as in orange...like a cat...i used cat allegories every time i explained it but i think the implications are clear enough - her mother wanted her to look different.) and she lived a happy life with her grandparents. and Patches...is a deaf girl whose parents just couldn't take care of her properly so she ended up in an orphanage. she has awful attachment issues.

i won't explain the whole plot but their stories were meant to be kind of a portrayal of how some people treat animals as just objects, things they can just get rid of. a cat of specific breed, bred for specific traits which may be hurtful to it, a cat whose owner just threw it away after it not meeting the expectations, and a general theme of people not wanting to take in cats with injuries that make them 'not pretty' for them. i don't know why im tearing up right now but these make me so upset and i smh wanted to portray these issues though human characters, and while adapting them i realized that those awful stories ended up overlapping with how neglectful parents end up treating their children.

in the end they end up in cat heaven, where they all meet and get to be happy and be themselves. snowwhite learns to love herself for who she is and find out hobbies there, rouge just finally gets friends she lacked. also patches doesn't magically start hearing in cat heaven, she was given an option to but she felt overwhelmed a lot and ended up sticking to being deaf but not treating it as a bad thing, just a different thing.

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BONUS SECTION

i also have this unused character and concept art that i just made bc i finally felt like i could do something back in the day

her working name was 'vogel'

so. returning to zepphire's lair. one thing i forgot to mention earlier is that i also even made OST for it (didn't feel like it would fit the text above). this one is just the theme that plays in the first playable area

main menu theme...is too heavy for tumblr apparently. huh. it's a very simple tune it just goes on for very long (bc there's an easter egg if you listen to it for too long!!!)

next section contains bright images that im gonna put even deeper below!!

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title screen!

intro cutscene! small baby zepphire, and then zepphire acquiring her godmode key, and then ending up becoming a photoshooter!! the camera is important .

here she is!!! the cat herself!!!

a photo that she has in her inventory!! it's mewtona, her sister!

gameplay-wise i was gonna make it so you can collect random photos zepphire made and have to learn the implications of that and what it has to do with 'the photoshooting incident'. it would be somewhat close to omori - part of story is in reality and parts of it in headspace that explains the story.

I THINK that's all. sorry this took so long that was a lot of yapping!!!

[theinsterminators]

SUP MOTHERFUCKERS

we are The INSTERMINATORS!!! or collectively referred as tins for short 🎛️ (also refered to as jude or justin)

- our origin is adaptive and mixed, other than that the rest is none of your goddamn business

- we are a bodily minor

- informed selfdx bpd, adhd + social anxiety disorder

- we are radinclus, proship and proendo, if you dont like it then block and leave

- dms that are only a single word like "hello" or "hey" will be ignored (but not blocked). you will be presumed to be a bot. if you really want to talk to us, at least say "how are you" or something else other than just hello.

DO NOT ASK FOR DONATIONS! WE HAVE NO MONEY TO GIVE YOU AND I DO NOT WANT TO SPENDS HOURS TO CHECK IF YOU ARE A SCAM. I ALSO DONT WANT TO SEE FUCKING GORE AND MURDER IN OUR INBOX!.

art tag: #neonwaste-art f/o tags: #him(tm)☆ and #old man(tm)🖤

intros, other info and dni under the cut

INTROS - ITCHY ; 🕯️

the host who runs this joint much to the others peril /hj. he/they/ve(/vim). toxic yaoi initiator and brotherkisser400. posting tag is #🥞posting.txt

- KARAMATIU/ALLEN ; 🍵

chill vamp who loves his silly boyfriend. he/him. tag SHOULD BE either #🍵posting.rtf #🍵posting.txt or #🍵posting.pdf (the tags are kinda fucked)

- AO ; 🏮

hater of stupid little bugs and waffle of hoe (/inside joke). proud debauched freak. he/they. tag is usually #🏮posting.txt

OTHER INFO

- we are collectively xenogender and male aligned / oriented

- stellular: https://stellular.net/the-insterminators-colorless

DNF

- lgbtqphobic, racist, MAP, ableist (this includes demonizing ANY cluster disorders), sexist

- radfem and radqueers + xenosatanists

- exclus, antiendo/anti non traumagenic systems, antiship, anti informed self dx, anti objectum + antificto, antiselfship

PLEASE INT

- evillious, ososan, pjsekai, chonny jash or vocaloid fans!!

- blmatsu fans/shippers please interact i am literally begging you on my hands and knees please please please please

- sourcemates (99% impossible challenge)

- if you know of bug spray that actually WORKS (please im begging you)

OTHER BLOGS:

@neonwaste-bah - our bah (build a headmate) blog (fucking dead)

@neontinsstamps - our stamp blog (also dead)

@neonwastecollec - graphics collection

@allenliane - kr's blog

@jasmine-blue-ink - ao's blog

more blogs to come...

OTHER POST TAGS

#neonwaste-thoughts - random shower thoughts-like shit

#neonwaste-asks - asks answered

#neonwaste-vent - vent shit, will contain a tw if needed to add one (likely wont, itll probably just be mundane shit), but block if youre worried about sensitive stuff

#neonwaste-energy - rants or rambles about stuff we like/we're fixated on lmfao (or just rants in general)

#neonwaste-sillies - system sillies lmao

#neonwaste-chatter - tag for everything else (this is like. NEVER USED.)

#neonwaste-art - art tag

#neonwaste-askgame - to keep track of ask box games

we do not tag reblogs

userboxes by @/genicpunk (first two) and @/plural-this-user-is (last two) !

[saltynsassy31]

no cus i totally understand your frustration, ive also quit splatfests for the moment until they get an overhaul

i suggest if you feel close to getting hateful to either shiver or shiver fans then maybe quit for a while for your own sake cus ive felt a lot better after doing so, im still really sensitive to negative comments towards frye or rude ones about shiver winning but taking some time for myself has made me feel infinitely better

ive been close to hating shiver before bc of how cocky and rude them and their fans can be but it doesnt really do anything but sour your enjoyment of the game more, so its really not worth it

i do have to say though, anyone who says "its just a game" reaaally needs to understand the frustration of people OTHER than them, sympathy is something a lot of people forget about when it comes to things that arent real life. just because it doesnt affect you doesnt mean everyone can shut off their attachment to the game or a character like a light switch; a lot of the time you dont know whats going on with them. i myself am really attached to frye cus i am hashtag autism creature and he brings me comfort, so anyone being rude to me about shiver winning really REALLY gets under my skin. its not entirely (if they were serious, if they werent then its not at all) their fault, but nintendo fixing the frustration of splatfests constantly keeling in one direction (which theyre supposed to do anyways but they havent) would definitely fix the issue. we need to find a way to have nintendo fix this, not attack anyone else for what bundle of pixels and text theyre attached to.

not everyone has really thick skin and if we want splatoon 3 to be more hospitable then we should try to cut down on the general splatfest bullassery in public spaces (being overly cocky and rude/blaming others in a way with no basis or truth behind it). its not something everyone can always do since we arent all perfect, but if we make steps in that direction then we could help more people enjoy the splatoon community rather than being eaten up by toxicity and spite

i didnt word all of this entirely correctly so like interpret ad best as you can cus im eepy but yeah.

a fye for u to enjoy (also ur anon is off btw)

u dont have to but for the sake of not being harrassed id appreciate if u didnt tag with public tags

👏👏 PREACH

I don't want to quit playing it, I do enjoy splatfests, to a certain extent, i like going with my friends and i made a lot of new friends through it, it's like, the online community that I'm having a problem with

I don't hate shiver, I thought I did but I can't, she is still a comfort character (tho Frye is like, my obsession besides being my comfort character cuz I am also part part the 'tism XD), in a way, I like her dynamic with the group at least, she annoys me, yes, very much so, but I don't hate her

And I don't hate people who like her either

Who I do hate is people being mean about it, I had turned off anon cuz of a stupid person who was going around every frye support account anonymously just saying mean stuff and praising shiver as the best, I just forgot to turn it on, so thanks for reminding me 😅

Saying that "It's just a game" is so annoying to, tell that to the football fans, they go just as crazy if not more so

Splatfests are ment to be fun! You should be able to enjoy the splatfest without having to worry about people fighting

I don't like fighting with people, I hate how angry I become, how mean I can sound sometimes, I usually just vent without interacting

At least she won in Japan, so that is one other win under her belt, I just wish she'd win more in the future 😔

Oh also I almost didn't participate in this splatfest either and I did only because I haven't had time to play and I haven't finished my catalogue yet 😅 I usually use splatfests to up my catalogue quicker lmao

Also, don't worry, I won't tag anything that could get you harassed, if anything does happen, please block for your health, I don't want anything happening to you, you seem very sweet ;w;

Edit: also YOUR FRYE PLUSH IS SO CUTE! I've been seeing people get her but idk where to buy her!!!! Where'd you get it? :0

[tubbytarchia]

You don't have to publish this ask but I just need to vent to someone who might understand, cause like, I'm over here like "I don't like fh or scott sorry, I promise though I won't talk about it or maintag just letting you know so you don't waste time since I know there's overlap between us, also I have a lot of interesting ideas about them still but I won't talk or write about them because I know that would make some of you upset and more than anything else I want everyone here to have a fun time and ship and let ship <3" and these unproblematic only fh fans will turn around and be like "oh so you're homophobic? You're the most annoying person on the planet? You're just trying to start a ship war? You're the problem with fandom" like BITCH?! Never met people so determined to make their actually quite comparatively good and healthy fandom toxic

This is where it stops being funny and actually genuinely really upsets me, is that very few people dare to talk about "toxic" Flower Husbands, let alone maintag it (and they should be able to! Because it's not fucking hate? Its valid discussion and expression of opinion that doesn't attack anyone). A few people have been more vocal about it recently and I've seen more people besides you come forth NOW, because you didn't want to upset anyone or get shittalked etc in the past for holding a different opinion to the overwhelming majority. I know people who've joked "am I just insane? Am I just stupid for seeing something here that everybody else is vehemently against?". There's evidently people who have just shut up because otherwise they'll get burned at stake, or they stay in their own little circles

And then a few too many FH posts that dare even imply any negative qualities about FH from a character standpoint get a little bit seen, and suddenly FH tag is full of 10 people defending their ship's honor because how dare you!! The way these people are so fucking volatile about fuck-all upsets me so much. Like, haha, we've been proven right I guess! You DO get burned at stake. These people probably aren't even bothering to read any such FH interpretations if they even SEE any, and don't just see 5 other posts claiming "oh my god can people just shut up about toxic FH and write characters breaking up for NORMAL reasons" (genuinely baffling concern that I've seen like at least 3 times btw??) that just leads them to believe that this is a wide-spread "problem" that needs neutralizing? They take even the thought of such posts as personal attacks that prohibit them from shipping FH for some reason? Like dude I fucking dig FH? Just for not always the same reasons as the majority but I guess I've sinned and shouldn't be allowed to speak lol. And these people don't HAVE to read interpretations they don't like, goddamn, look past?? Block if it hurts you that much?? As you said, the Tumblr traffic fandom is largely really kind and healthy so I can't fathom where the hell these guys come from. And then they proclaim the people who have largely shut up or kept to themselves "the problem", and that's the exact response that has been feared lmao

sorry. Long answer but fuck. I'm so sorry anon. The Flower Husbands scene is truly miserable if you dare think of them as anything other than cuddly and cute and teasing at most. Your interpretation is invalid because. ? homophobia I guess lmao

[kels-orange-joe]

introduction ^_^ (regularly updates)

haii my name is stitch (not my real name obviously)

and yes as in the chaotic blue creature from lilo & stitch but that’s besides the point

this is my side blog!! an omori (mainly kel) themed one at that. my main blog is @stitchthelilo, and this is specifically for stimboards/sensory boards (well some other stuff too but that’s like the main thing) whatever you wanna call em, it’s also a kel fanblog cuz he is THE BEST OMORI CHARACTER!!! I WILL STAND BY THAT TIL THE DAY I DIE BECAUSE ITS TRUE

nonetheless.. i do take requests! and my status will update when they are open and stuff like that idk

i tend to use emoticons a lot and i’m a lil bit cringe so just a warning

my first time doing this so criticism is accepted with wide arms :)

the stuff you can request is what i have put in the tags section :3 (will further elaborate in rules/boundaries section)

ohh and even if you wanna request something really specific (like combining #sunny’s sketchbook and #character portraits for example) you can still request it as long as it’s something that is a combination of tags that i put

also if you want to request a prompt pls specify if you want it to be dialogue or scenarios

TAGS

#waves of orange joe = stimboards/sensory boards

#sunny’s sketchbook = art

#character portraits = pfps

#mari’s picnic blanket = flags

#headspace shenanigans = fanfics

#basils’s photo album = headcanons

#white space vibes = mood boards

#space boyfriend’s tape = playlists

#sunny’s inner mind = prompts

#the headspace alter egos = names/pronouns

RULES/BOUNDARIES

sfw interactions only!

any fandoms are accepted! some i just know more about better than others which i will get into in a bit, so please do understand.. as that is why the accuracy for some stimboards is off

i have the right to deny your request, ESPECIALLY if it’s something very icky

proshippers/comshippers, dubcon/noncon, nsfw blogs, ddlg blogs, anti-lgbtqia+, anti-religion (muslimphobic, islamophobic, etc. etc), anti-xenogender/neopronouns, anti-otherkin/therian/whateva idrk, racist, zionists, and just anyone who supports anything gross GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THIS BLOG DNI

please do understand i have a life and you will have to be patient, your requests will be done eventually just wait

just have common sense, if you KNOW something is bad but are still here then go away oml

feel free to just talk to me in the asks! anon or not, i’m willing to just talk, as it isn’t just for requests. you can vent or rant there too if you want, i’ll listen! you are loved remember that <3

any ships are fine as long as they aren’t illegal or anything, a personal favourite of mine is suntan :3

you may request: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, whump, slow burn, nsfw (just not smut, i’d rather not do that on a blog like this.. implied smut is ok though! and gore and heavy topics are fine too), panic attacks, all types of horror, comedy, drama, pining, mutual pining, all kinds of relationships (as long as the toxic ones are not romanticised), and basically just anything that isn’t in the you may not request part

you may not request: smut, proship/comship, dubcon/noncon, romanticisation of gross things (but if it isn’t meant to be romanticised then you can request), just anything gross really

THINGS I WILL MAKE

ocs as long as you provide pics and/or info, info is optional though ofc! but if you don’t provide it i am just gonna go off of aesthetic

total drama

danganronpa

omori

undertale/deltarune but moreso undertale

pokemon

sonic

mario

cookie run

the amazing digital circus

murder drones

smg4

bfdi/bfb/tpot

ii

hfjone

any object show really lmao

mlp

adventure time. however……. i may not be that accurate when it comes to later seasons or fionna and cake, cuz i never actually finished it or watched the spin-off, lmao sorry

gravity falls! same as adventure time though, haven’t yet finished it (but ik bill cipher and allat)

vocaloid

warriors/warrior cats (i haven’t read the books though, might not be accurate sorry)

scp foundation

bbc ghosts

she-ra: and the princesses of power

memes

garfield

the sims

among us (as cringe as that may sound, it’s a good game)

my singing monsters

the battle cats

dnd

agere/petre/agedre/petdre

otherkin/therian

furry

starters movieunleashers

hazbin hotel/helluva boss (i do NOT support vivziepop or her team, i separate content from creator because the episodes can really be good, even if they miss most of the time.. and i love the concept of both shows. I PIRATE IT Y’ALL DW I AM NOT GIVING PRIME VIDEO NOR VIVZIEPOP MY MONEY 😭)

doctor who

good omens

and much more! but i can’t be bothered adding them.. if any more of my interests are in an ask i’ll just tell y’all and edit this

[awildtei]

WIP Game

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs

Thanks for the tag @billdenbrough !!

The name is usually the last thing I choose for a fic so these are all working titles btw

-Jackieshauna

-Adamshauna girlfail toxic fwb

-Nicky vent

-Kevneil Afraid of Heights

-Robbie and Sonari

-Neil gets angry

-Kateaaron pregnancy scare

-Andrew haunted

-The Condoms Fic TM

I've completely lost track of who's done this already and I'm not tagging that many people lmao so @tara-the-star @mostlymaudlin and @alcego if any of you feel like it!

[mishkakagehishka]

I can't believe I missed the Gatekeeper incident not only once but twice !

Can I get a resume again Korka ?

Man, the timezones haven't been kind to you😭

Okay here's a summary: last night around 9:30pm CET I got a notification I was tagged in something. That something was gatekeeper's new blog intro lololol. I haven't screenshot their entire pinned, which i now regret because it was full of contradictions and bad excuses, but they mentioned me to say, and I'm quoting from the screenshot I took, "I think that I got unfairly harassed when my posts were taken out of context and especially the likes of [my url] unfairly sent harassment my way just because they have a following[...]"

As we all know, that's bullshit, I actually didn't get involved with the original drama until they reblogged one of my posts. Asides from that, their pinned had info such as "I got unfairly harassed, but I also harassed people, but not because I had it out for them, but because I hate the enstars fandom and knew it was toxic and wanted the new fans to get out because I knew they wouldn't believe me if I told them the fandom was toxic" which is like. So funny. "Wow, i don't want these people to be harassed in the fandom. So i'll harass them so they quit the fandom before any of these Actually Bad People harass them :)" like bro what?

Anyway. They also had this post

Which correlates to the exact shit one of my (now former) mutuals would often vent about, which confirmed the hunch I've had since, like, October. If you wanna know who it is so you can also block them, I'll dm you since I still don't have hard proof and could be wrong, but too many people have mentioned being suspicious of the same person, that I'm like 99% sure it is.

At some point during the night, they deactivated, I got a message about it around 3am CET. So, you know, they lasted about six hours lmao

[nosetoons]

i dont want 2 turn my art blog into a whiny vent post and debate blog so yeah. this is cursedbeasts and i probs should have set that post to npt be reblogged lmao.

l think we were talking about 2 different situations in my post & the reblog. I had a string of toxic one on one friendships over the span of several years all originating in the same fandom. that combined with irl shit resulted in me isolating myself with yet another toxic person. and it all culminated in that person essentially telling everyone around im a horrible person and a whole bunch of people piled onto me like the Not One Of Us song number in Lion King 2.

i dont know your situation & i genuinely hope you didnt go through what I did.

But I can understand seeing a toxic fandom and being discouraged.

But also, you do know you can enjoy a thing without engaging with the fandom?

its what ive been doing post swtor for the most part. and also i think you need to learn to curate your online experience. dpnt go into tags if you know you will see something that angers you. block people whose takes piss you off. dont stew in being buttmad or you will end up like the person who bullied me out of the swtor fandom and completely tainted my fav characters.

i am serious. i have been in this constantly mad outraged place myself right alongside that person. and it was MISERABLE. and its completely preventable.

sit down and ask yourself: should i worry and be mad about other people's takes online that i cant control whatsoever? the answer is FUCKING NO. block, blacklist, and move on. leave twitter and tik tok if you need to cuz theyre cesspits lol.

being outraged all the time is not good for your health, be it mental or physical.

Ironically I just had the exact same talk with my mom lol

I've already made up my mind as well with the conversation. I'm going to block websites that have this issue (such as Twitter and Metacritic) and will give Invincible one more shot...without associating with the fandom.

And I was afraid I missed the point of the blog because I have a bad habit of doing so X-X

Also I can just make a Vyond magnum opus of making fun of that shit like I'm doing rn with grifters.

Anyways, yeah. Fandoms are ass. End of story.

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent/transphobia in fandom

I regret looking in the trans //// Dirk tag bc wow... people sure do love to shit on other people's interpretation of canon.

Someone fucking said "people are making him trans to 'soften' him and make him more likeable" like holy shit???? Am I actually reading those words?? Someone being blatantly transphobic in the tD tag, where y'know, trans people wanna read posts about tD.

If you think making a character trans 'softens' him, that's literally the definition of transphobia, and that's something you need to work on. Trans men aren't Men Lite. We're not softer and more likeable than cis men. Shut the fuck up.

I feel so fucking sick after reading that. Fucking asshole piece of shit. I did not need to read that tonight, while I'm literally suffering from a 'trapped in the wrong body' flavour of gender dysphoria and S.I. and just TRYING TO FIND PEOPLE BEING NORMAL ABOUT TRANS ///// DIRK SINCE IT FEELS LIKE I'M THE ONLY PERSON WHO FUCKING CARES RIGHT NOW.

Whatever. I will blaze my own way down the tD path. I'm doing it for ME. Not for anyone else. Fucking rancid-ass take, get the fuck out. No one wants to see your whiny transphobic arguments against tD, IN THE TAG FOR TRANS //// DIRK. Keep your transphobia to yourself, or I am busting out the duct tape. (Duct tape=block button. Yes, I blocked them. Don't need that negativity in my blogging experience.)

((Do not talk to me about anything that happens after Homestuck proper. I do not perceive those things. I do not want to know about those things. They do not exist to me.))

PS. Oh, I absolutely love finding any canon evidence to make toxic male characters into trans men (Handso//me Ja/ck, Joh//nny Sil//verhand, Br/o Str/ider, etc... actually now that I line them up like that, Bro is totally tame and normal lmao, HJ is wayyy worse of a person and there's tons of canon evidence I can argue with...)

Anyway, transing the bad guys... It's my favourite passtime. I could not give a fuck what you think about that. I like my men toxic and trans. I don't give a fuck about having "good" representation, because a trans man is still a trans man when he's a toxic asshole. That's the point. Trans men are the same amount of man as cis men. So you can SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT NEEDING A 'SOFT' BOY FOR TRANS MEN'S REPRESENTATION. DO IT YOUR-FUCKING-SELF AND LEAVE THE TRANS //// DIRK TAG TO THOSE OF US WHO KNOW THE TRUTH.

[twilleansparks]

yeah lmao YOU’RE obsessed with spop discourse even though some anti anon came onto YOUR blog in YOUR inbox unprompted to “vent their frustrations”(???) with three inarticulate not-expanded-upon words in the year of 2023, 3 years after the show ended and was moved on from — and presumably only found you despite your posts being appropriately tagged, meaning you were intentionally sought after in some form — clearly, you calling them obsessed is projection for something! it’s always catradora antis who provoke first and then pull the “why are you attacking us for a sensible opinion” card 🙃

THIS THIS THIS ^^^

[ID: another ask from pride-cat reading: and to add, i think it’s funny that the critical/anti blog posting about you has a top post consisting of a “healthy yuri ships list” and lumity & bubbline are both on there lmao. like yeah the former is absolutely fine and a great standard for teenage relationships — i mean, hell, look at my layout and you know it’s one of my favorites — but let’s not pretend luz doesn’t get & blow multiple chances to communicate with amity rather than lie to her or hide something? i won’t compare that to abuse by any means but surely irl that wouldn’t let a relationship last very long… on the other hand, isn’t the latter literally the prime example of toxic yuri most of the time (tbf i never watched that show)? but… ok sure! if we have to rely on perfectly healthy tropes for a cartoon sapphic pairing to be good representation then we won’t have many left to praise 🤭 /end ID]

[ablednt]

That purgatory liminal space emotion between “I don’t want to inconvenience people and I’m not Literally Going To Die so it doesn’t matter anyway” and “Holy shit I’m not okay I want everyone to be worried I want attention I am Not Okay right now please...”

[nerves-nebula]

Your art has officially convinced me to be a Steve x belos shipper lmao. Do you have any plans for them?

ok ok sooo this is kind of a wild ask to me because I haven't posted beleve art in like. 2 years I think?? I haven't even made it since we found out Steve has a canon face so technically most of the beleve art I've made before is a oc-steve x belos.

there's also the fact that near the end of when I was making art about them it was majority vent art to deal with the INSANE amounts of stress college was putting on me, which has its own tag (bad beleve) because it's so toxic and abusive so like- uh-

ok TO ANSWER your question: I did not have any plans for them, but I am willing to draw more of them if that's something you want (which it sounds like it is) because I find the dynamic interesting and I love writing about abusive relationships. (I could also write them non-abusive but yeah up to you)

Now I've got a question of my own: Do you want to see canon steve x belos or OC steve x belos?

I feel like canon steve is wayyy too emotionally mature now to ever date belos, but there is an interesting idea there where Belos grooms steve so steve never matures to that point. much to think about. But also I've never drawn canon steve so that'd be a little harder than usual.

OC steve is basically just Some Guy cause steve wasn't really a character when I made him, more like a running background gag. So he's basically just an OC heavily inspired by a toh character, so there's a lot we can do with him!

OC steve/bad beleve is also (potentially) present in my home hunter au, so if what you're looking for is a bit of angst based on Hunter running away and Steve taking the brunt of Belos emotions, that'd be a pretty interesting area to explore too.