#like surely this must have affected her brain too bc people thought she was the family servant anytime they went places? 😭

[waspgrave]

Working on my Rook backstory again and I’m very open to accepting the canon backstory for Mercar but mine is going to address how strange it is that this human soldier from Tevinter saw a random elf baby in Ventus, near the Arlathan forest which is 🤨, and decided ‘my baby now’. Sir, don’t you think the baby bird probably belongs to the bird nest it’s right beside?? You can’t just adopt that bc the nest is empty right now

[neverchecking]

OOOOHHHH hear me out ok do with this what you will:

Warriors has to have like the BIGGEST praise kink yk? Reader tells him he looks pretty? He melts. Reader says he’s doing so good? He’ll do better. Just to hear any praise come from reader’s lips.

But when someone else compliments READER? It’s like a switch is flicked inside Warrior’s head. Someone at the bar a little to fond of reader’s smile? Reader’s laugh? Hoooo boy only hylia herself can save that person now. Warriors would have to drag reader somewhere and pound it into REMIND reader that compliments come from his lips only. If anyone says otherwise? Well, he’ll do what he must.

-🐞

🐞 anon. Your brain is so wrinkled. Every part of this is just *Chef's kiss* I'm hearing you out. He so unused to praise bc his higher ups just told him everything he did was wrong, so to hear he was doing something good from you?

He would take great care in absolutely destroying you for everyone else, the only name on your lips should be HIS and HIS alone Reminding you who you belong to :)

Smut so MDNI!

Smut CW: Possessive (Delusional) Wars. Praise kinks galore

・❥・Wars FOR SURE has the biggest fucking praise kink

・❥・Because let's face it, people tend to hate him. He practically brought upon the war of the Eras (Or that's what they tell him at least) and he's used to people just putting him down constantly.

・❥・And since Cia was attracted more to the power of his soul, she cared very little for who he was as a person. Just would he could provide her.

・❥・And the Captains before him treated him like shit, especially when he was a rookie.

・❥・But you? You had taken up role as a makeshift nurse when the chain had gotten hurt, the only one who braved treating him when he was angry and hurt. And when you did? You had nothing but gentle touches and kind words towards him.

・❥・It wasn't uncommon for you to look at him with starry eyes as you wrapped a gash, fawning over his dexterity on the field and how you had seen him with a sword.

・❥・You would distract him from his pain with honeyed words and praises.

・❥・It was no wonder he fell for you as fast as he did.

・❥・It was like you knew what he needed, exactly when he needed it.

・❥・And when you evolved past just praising his skills on the battlefield and into complimenting the way he had done his hair that day or the way his smile seemed to light up his features or the way you noticed how his eyes showed every one of his emotions?

・❥・He's down bad. Because he's the only one you do this with. So obviously he was the only one you wanted, right?

・❥・This was your way of telling him you like him, right? You were just too shy to come outright with it! That was obviously the case.

・❥・You ignite such a fire beneath him. He aches to impress you. You need someone who can protect you. Who can provide and give you the live you deserve to live.

・❥・He can do that. When he's fighting he's putting a million percent into it, ensuring not even a keese gets near you. When your in a market and he sees your eyes linger on something, he's handing over the rupees without so much as a second thought. He has the money and it's no issue. Not even when you bashfully attempt to wave off his act of affection.

・❥・Just let him take care of you. It would be easier for everyone.

・❥・He realizes, however, that as much as he would like it to be the case, you aren't in a bubble for his eyes only.

・❥・Other, unworthy pests can see you. And some have even dared to talk to you.

・❥・They sing their own compliments about your form or your jewelry, never the things he knows you really care about. They have no clue about your heart, that he fears is too big for this cruel world, or your brain, which works in such incredible ways.

・❥・Which cannot stand.

・❥・He's been dragged out of more than a few bars by Time or Twilight before he can launch himself at the disgraceful traitor that dares to impose on your sanctity.

・❥・That doesn't stop him from tracking this disgrace down and giving him a quick, and much too merciful, death. Anything longer would be delaying the time spent with you and he could already feel his skin itching without your presence.

・❥・ When he gets back, he's already formulating a plan to brand you as his. Because that's what you were.

・❥・You were his and his alone.

・❥・He had no issues dirtying his hands when it came to other parasites trying to impose on his territory, no, the problem came with you.

・❥・Not with anything you did, but you still needed to understand that the only praises you should listen to, come from his lips and his alone.

・❥・He would just have to remind you.

<><><><>

Your chest heaved as War's hands caged your own against the wall. The mirror in front of you fogged quickly as your hot breaths painted it with a misty sheen. You could barely see his blond hair as he gripped your hips, hips crashing with yours over and over again.

You couldn't exactly pinpoint what had gotten him so riled up, but he could.

He had taken you to a darling little bakery hidden away in some alleyway and the baker there seemed a little too friendly with you. He had kept offering you other goodies than what you had decided on, on the house he had declared, reaching for and catching your hand when you went to grab the paper bag full of treats. He was insistent on letting you know just how radiant your smile was and how he wouldn't mind seeing it more often.

Drove him absolutely fucking mad.

Wars knew he was...possessive. It was both maddening because he knew what it was like to be chained and locked down by someone too obsessive to be healthy and liberating because you were his. You had chosen to give yourself to him. You had chosen him.

And he would make sure everyone knew it.

The knights that would eye you every time you came to visit, the council members that would gawk at you every time he brought you with him to visit Artemis, the servants that would hesitate when it came to leaving your bathroom, and that fucking baker who didn't understand you were taken. That you were his.

But he'd make sure they knew. He would make sure they all knew that he had sunk his talons deep into your psyche. You were his. There was no changing this.

Maybe you could use a nice, big, shiny rock to show everyone you were his.

[tarnussy]

Ok I have to ask about the tags on the Malenia fandom post... How the hell did they try to make Godrick a pedophile

There are 2 occasions that stood out to me: According to the first one, he is a pedophile and a rapist because the dead dragon didn't consent to be grafted (like???). Then there was mention of the grafted scions as well, tho that was in a separate post if I remember correctly. (Of course, creepy kids when Godrick -> bad!!! Creepy kids when Rennala -> good) This wasn't on a small account either, and like so, a whole eco chamber decided it's now canon. Based on who this person's fav character is, this assumption was extremely hypocritical. They called out this behavior from fans against their fav character (which was right 100% to call them out) but then, they turned around and did the same behavior they resented so much, this time against people who like Godrick (I assume bc usually his fans stay quiet or just ignore it, or are bullied off the site). Second one: person had a client at work who was overly kind in a smarmy way, so he was labeled creepy and "must have been a pedophile" all based on vibes, and then according to that logic they thought Godrick was one too simply based on their personal vibes (and seeing him in the worst faith possible). They had a feeling he was like that, and so people who like him were no different (according to this person). Second person was actively making the fandom as unenjoyable as possible. Their genuine goal was to make fandom experience fucking vile for anyone who liked Godrick (or anyone that liked a character they didn't like, all which I happen to like). And not just this person but a whole group of their besties who flocked to this behavior like flies to a pile of steaming shit. Just because why not, I suppose. I do feel like my experience with ER would have been much better if I never checked the tags or the fandom ever. Which is hard bc I am a creator myself and I used to monitor main tags because of my own posts as well. Before becoming an active blog, I liked nearly every character (M@lenia was my favourite female character back then!) but I'm unfortunately the type of person whose brain holds onto bad memories a lot and also associates characters with bad apples like this. And M@lenia's apples almost all seem super fucking bad. Very similar to stans of Alcin@ Dimitr3scu, same level of witch hunts as well. At this point there is no way I could ever look at M@lenia and not immediately think of all the disgusting, hypocritical and unfair behavior a big portion of her fans have been doing for years. Which is sad bc I think she is a cool character and I think she has chill fans as well who are nice. Too bad they are overpowered by the most loud ones. And it has an extreme level of irony bc this same type of fan is the one to scream into the void how awful Radahn fans are. I can 100% tell, since I am on every single social media for my ER accounts and interact with people everywhere, that Radahn fans are nowhere near on the same level. Sure, they have their arguments or even slightly problematic behavior but it's never at a level of personal witch hunts and ganging up on others. I know a couple of people who (similarly to me) liked both Godrick and M@lenia at some point, and just altogether left the fandom because of the constant attacks and arguments her fans were doing. So this is a way bigger issue than it seems. And ofc anyone who ever dared to speak about it was either witch hunted or ganked in the tags. I had multiple people hit me up in privately about this back when it was going down, so that definitely reassured me it wasn't just my observation. And, you know, fandom should be fun. Why be a petty asshole for no reason? And to a level that is very much harmful in real life? So their "it's just a game" shit-ass argument when you call out this behavior has no place when it comes to organized harassment that affects people in real life. And somehow it's always the perps who cry wolf. And everyone else who is affected should stay quiet in fear of witch hunt against them. You see this wall of text above? This is me keeping it short. Only scraping the surface here.

[jabberwockprince]

unfiltered re1999 oc rambles and train of thought under the cut because i need to sort out my brain for a second!

inhales

venison's theme is cannibalism (bones, flesh) and deer/stag, the shocking effect of having a herbivore eat meat -> prey becomes predator -> cute thing is scary now, simplified

i made them specifically to parallel pavia in many aspects, so they do share themes certain themes while also being on entirely opposite ends, especially when it comes to freedom/individuality - what with pavia being a lone wolf and an individual who rejects society and lives outside of it, while venison is a very codependent and social individual who will gladly allow others to use them in exchange of that feeling of "belonging". and the two are still hypocrites, because wolves live in close tight knit packs, theres no real lone wolves. and venison ultimately lives for their own selfish whims, because being codependent is just a means to an end, and arent as subservient and submissive as they paint themself

then theres the subject of venison's historical themes

their undimo is a white, glowing and magical stag made out of bones which is based on the lampong - a creature from filipino myths and folklore, a dwarf shepherd that is said to protect other deer by turning into one

the psychube assigned specifically to them is called "the stag hunt" which alludes to that one painting - the stag hunt of frederick iii, elector of saxony by lucas cranach. which is just a fun connection to venison's backstory, but has no fucking ties whatsoever with frederick iii nor lucas cranach. so hm. hmmmm. tying themes of religious imagery and blind devotion through frederick iii's might be a reach. unsure. UNCLEAR. gotta look into it later

the psychube is also just called "Stag Hunt" which instead alludes to the trust dilemma by the same name, two hunters must choose between hunting down a hare or a stag, independently and without knowing the other's choice. but to hunt down a stag they must do it together. so its like the prisoners dilemma but in the stag hunt someone always ends up winning regardless of the combination of choices. something something, venison's opportunistic (and parasitic) behaviour and that same vibe that junko enoshima and jobu tupaki had going on of always, always coming out on top no matter what even if they're the ones suffering bc the end goal was always suffering

venison is also a mineral arcanist bc mineral arcanists seem to be aligned with. themes of death? cristallo, obvious deteriorating health. bette, metaphorical death of the self since she's treated as a cheap replacement within the industry. eternity, she just. doesnt die, doomed to be eternal. horrorpedia, death and horror, obviously. mondlicht, her whole village is in constant danger of dying bc of wolves, kids are raised as hunters. ms moissan's life being affected by war ("but what about click then? click is a spirit arcanist by virtue of being a DEAD GHOST GUY, bc supernatural themes and stuff being the ticket to spirit arcanists). necrologist. yeah pretty obvious.

but thats also just a superficial observation bc i havent dissected afflatus influence yet. mineral arcanum could be something related to being stagnant, stuck, an inmovable object. things that are assured, sure as death. it would align better with some characters like sonetto too

still, venison's connection to being a mineral arcanists, within this context and with this current explanation, is easy bc they're - at heart - a scavenger animal, they thrive in death and are surrounded by it. the association of cannibalism = love and protection and care in their brain means that they're constantly trying to prove or show their love thru violence, they eat those they love bc nothing will bring people closer than death and digestion, basically

but venison is also a goddamn awful person with a very unstable and volatile mind, so this association has just become an excuse to justify their cannibalism. this is why they "fall in love" with all of their targets, why they write love letters and why theyre so delusional, creating one-sided relationships that they fully believe in

OK OK OK BRAIN IS WORKING AGAIN I CAN WORK PROPERLY

[skiller0dani]

As You Go | Ethan Nestor

M A S T E R L I S T YouTube Masterlist

angsty smut requests info 

I’ve always had a thing for Ethan. So I decided to incorporate him, hope you guys like it! If there are any other YouTubers you want me to write about lmk! I promise I’m going to start chipping away at my requests, I love you all. I had to get this out of my system, because this song (and this one too) hella inspired me to write a piece based on it. also this gif is doing things to me. look at Ethan. his chest, his legs, his arms, his e v e r y t h i n g.

also I kept the smut short bc I’m not sure how people will respond to it, if you guys like it I’ll write more (much longer) Ethan smut. 

Mark promised to give Ethan the space he needed, but he just couldn’t help reaching out. While what happened wasn’t necessarily Mark’s fault, Ethan’s anger was being directed at both you and Mark. The guilt that had made a home in Mark’s chest was enough to cripple him, and he was borderline desperate for Ethan’s forgiveness. He texted, he called, he even emailed Ethan. Despite Amy advising Mark to give Ethan the space he desperately needed, he just couldn’t. In reality, it truly wasn’t Mark’s fault- but he still feels responsible for what you did that night. Ethan had shut himself in his house, and Mark hadn’t heard from him in nearly a week. It was killing him. It was just a mistake, it didn’t mean anything. At least it sure as hell didn’t mean anything to Mark, how could Ethan believe Mark wanted it? He has Amy- he loves Amy. 

“I have to go see him.” Mark says decisively as he reaches for his car keys. But Amy reaches for them first. 

“He doesn’t want to see you.” The truth of it stings, it causes Mark to flinch. 

“I don’t care, he only knows what he saw.” Mark snaps, the pain from the memory flooding back in. 

“And what he saw traumatized him Mark, you need to give him time. He’ll come around. I told Y/N the same thing.” Amy explains, a firm look in her eyes. Mark felt emotion swell in his throat as tears misted in his eyes. “Think about how he must be feeling, he trusted the two of you more than anyone else. Ethan was never worried about leaving you and Y/N alone and then-” 

“She kissed me!” Mark cried desperately, leaning against the kitchen counter. “He has to know that and I don’t think he does.” Amy feels for Mark, she does. She knows it wasn’t his fault, but it still hurts. It’s the pain that leads Amy to protect Ethan above everyone else. The pain he must be feeling right now, Amy tears up thinking about how hurt he must be. She turns, “just leave him alone. Let him come to you.” She then saunters off, keys in hand. The last thing he needs is Mark at his doorstep. 

Ethan sits curled on the couch, his knees brought up to his chest. He has so many questions, and he’s too damn afraid to find out the answers. How long has that been going on? How long have you been into Mark? Was your entire relationship a lie? Were you just trying to get closer to Mark? Why didn’t Mark tell him? He should have seen it coming, why would anyone choose him when he’s friends with Mark? Pretending to love him gave you the perfect opportunity to get closer to Mark. The numbness of this entire week is what Ethan was the most surprised by, he expected to cry, to scream, to break everything in sight. But he didn’t- he sat and he did nothing. Said nothing. Went nowhere, he barely even ate. 

Everything about that night replays in Ethan’s mind. It was a late shooting for Unus Annus, and you’d usually tagged along. That never bothered Ethan before. It should have. 

You had participated in a drinking video for Unus Annus, since Mark couldn’t drink. You didn’t want Ethan to be drunk alone, and that’s how you found yourself in the predicament you were in now. You were in Mark and Amy’s spare bedroom, the room swaying slightly. The headache you’d had earlier was slowly ebbing away, the alcohol and the dark room helping. The door opened, someone had said they’d bring you some Advil. Through the darkness you slid your hands onto Ethan’s shoulders, he said nothing but you felt him stiffen as you did so. You giggled drunkenly when you felt him try to pry your hands off him. Why was he being so shy? 

“Eef c’mon,” You sighed as you pressed your body against his. You wound your hands through his dark hair, and he only pulled away further. “Uh- I-I’m, well I’m not-” He was stammering, normally you never caught him so off-guard with your affection. His hands were firmly on your waist, and you could have sworn he was trying to push you away. Your brain felt hazy as you leaned into him, your lips planting firmly on his. He went completely stiff, what’s the matter with Ethan tonight? The light flicks on in the next second and you pull away from Ethan, your eyes squinting in the bright light. 

“What the hell?” You hear Ethan say softly, his voice distant and wrought with an emotion you couldn’t identify. You looked up at the man you were pressed against and your eyebrows furrowed as you locked eyes with...Mark. “Mark.” You’d meant it to sound like a question but you’re pretty sure it sounded like a statement. You swayed back drunkenly, causing Mark’s hands to fly out and steady you. 

“Ethan-” Mark started worriedly as Ethan turned out of the spare bedroom. 

“Were you Mark this whole time?” You slur, watching the panic settle in Mark’s eyes. “Where’s Ethan?” You ask again, pulling away from Mark. This all felt like some vivid hallucination. You collapsed onto the bed, your body heavy with exhaustion. You’re barely conscious when you hear Amy call Ethan’s name, seconds before the front door slammed. 

You were drunk, you didn’t mean it. That’s what Ethan keeps saying over and over, yet he doesn’t really believe it. A few stray tears cascade down Ethan’s cheeks when he hears banging on the front door. He wished whoever it was would go away, but still he drug himself to the front door and looked through the peephole. 

Mark. 

He’d been dodging Mark’s attempts to contact him for a week now, and Ethan knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid Mark forever. So he opened the door, to find a slightly panicked, slightly relieved Mark standing in front of him. Ethan stood in the doorway, keeping the door against his side. Mark wrung his hands together as he searched for the words to say. “Can I come in?” It’s all he can think of- he just wants a chance to explain himself. Ethan nods curtly, opening the door for Mark to enter. 

“What do you want?” Ethan asks, trying his best to keep himself physically and emotionally distant from Mark. Mark stood in the doorway, feeling emotion steadily rising in his chest once more. “I-I had no idea she would kiss me! I was just bringing her Advil, she was really drunk Ethan, she didn’t even know it was me. She thought it was you! She even said your name, it was dark in there!” Mark huffs in one breath and Ethan doesn’t know how to respond. He nodded before turning to lean against the couch. 

“Honestly I don’t care how it happened Mark, that doesn’t change anything. It still happened regardless, and knowing why doesn’t make it hurt any less.” Ethan says, his voice soft. Ethan never thought of himself as cynical, but right now he felt like all the color was draining out of the world. The betrayal he feels almost feels as though it’s been branded onto him. Something he will never be able to leave behind, no matter what happens in the future, he’ll never be able to forget that this happened. 

“I’m sorry Ethan, I- I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Mark says again, feeling panic growing in his chest. Ethan nods as he rubs a hand down his face. He turns to Mark, he wants to forgive Mark. His friendship is too valuable to Ethan to lose. He reaches out for Mark and wraps his arms around him, and he feels Mark release a breath. “I’m so- so sorry.” Ethan wraps his arms around Mark tighter, “I know.” 

Forgiving Mark felt good, it brought Ethan some respite through the hardest time in his life. But another week had passed and he still couldn’t bring himself to answer your texts or calls, or open the door when you came by. He didn’t know how he could be around you without feeling all the pain come rushing back in. You kissed Mark. But he gave Mark a chance, and he knew sooner or later he’d have to give you a chance too. That’s why he texted you, and told you to come over. Ethan felt his palms sweating, it was like he couldn’t even breathe. The seconds seemed to tick by so slowly, and while he was still so angry and hurt... he couldn’t deny how excited he was to see you again. 

When the doorbell rang, it was almost embarrassing how quickly Ethan was answering the door. You carefully made your inside and for a few minutes you and Ethan did nothing other than stare at each other. In an instant Ethan had reached forward and brought his lips to yours. He knew he’d never be able to trust you again, he knew the relationship was over. But before you go, he needs to feel you around him one more time. He needs to feel your skin against his. You melt into him, your lips moving with his as Ethan’s hand slide down your back to your legs. He tugs on your legs, signaling you to jump. Offering a little jump, Ethan wraps your legs around his waist as he presses you against the nearest wall. 

You moan softly as Ethan trails desperate kisses down the column of your neck, his hands resting firmly on your ass. His movements are quick, almost desperate as he gently grinds against you. You moan again as your hands tangle in his hair, this wasn’t what you were expecting when he asked you to come over. You missed him, you missed this. Ethan’s lips trail back up to yours as he keeps turns and leans you down against the couch. His hands dance down your body to the waistband of your leggings, quickly yanking them down your body. “God Ethan I missed you.” You moaned, and for a second Ethan almost forgets. He almost forgets what you did. He nearly lost himself in the tender suppleness of your skin. Ethan nearly lost himself in the heat coming from between your legs.  

Ethan doesn’t respond as his hand delves between your legs. His fingers dancing between your folds as you desperately fumble with the buckle of his belt. Eventually you pull it through the loops, already helping him unbutton his jeans as he leans over you again. He’s going to miss your skin against his, among so many other more meaningful things. He’s going to miss how your nose scrunches up when you laugh, or how you would play with his hair when he was stressed. Most of all he’s going to miss how safe he felt when he was with you, he’ll never feel like that with you again. You destroyed any sense of security he ever felt with you the second you pressed your lips against Mark’s. Once his jeans were around his ankles, Ethan kicked them off before slowly pressing his head into you. 

He pulls you up against his chest, his head pressed into your neck as he slowly slides into you inch by inch. You hold desperately to him, moaning softly against his clothed shoulder as he gently stretches you open. You wind your legs around his waist as he slides out slowly before bottoming out again. Ethan sets a slow and steady pace, his breath fanning against your neck and your eyes are screwed shut as Ethan slowly pushes into you again and again. The pleasure building inside you is overwhelming and soon you’re panting against Ethan as he picks up his pace only slightly. Ethan drives into you again and again until you feel that winding coil inside you snap and you cum hard around him. Ethan offers a few more forceful thrusts before cumming into you, thank god for birth control.  

Ethan is silent after he pulls out, and there’s a somber look on his face. You try to reach up to cup his cheek in your palm but he turns away from you. You lean up on your elbows, watching as he pulls his jeans back up. “I can’t trust you. Maybe it’s selfish of me but I just needed to feel you one last time.” Your eyebrows furrow together as your heart breaks in your chest. Is Ethan...breaking up with you? You quickly pull your leggings up, “Ethan...I’m sorry I am.” 

“I know, but I can’t be in a relationship with no trust.” He says finally, his tone firm. You feel tears in your eyes as you stand. 

“But I love you.” You whisper and Ethan turns to you with tears in his eyes. 

“I love you, but I can’t do this.” He says again, before turning and heading up the stairs, taking your heart with him as he goes. 

[tsukkisbean]

never cold | third year boyfriend!tsukishima x gn!reader

genre: fluff and angst

warnings: jealousy, poor communication

word count: 4.0k

summary:  you’ve always loved valentine’s day and believed it was a holiday worth  celebrating and this year you have tsukishima to spend it with.  however, much to your disappointment he tells you that he thinks the  holiday is a waste of time and doesn’t understand why people even  bother. so what happens when your secret admirer takes their chance to  tell you how they feel?

a/n: i’m sorry this turned out kind of lame but nonetheless i hope you like it!!! ty for requesting!! also this is a repost bc tumblr is picking a fight :)

original request here

Every year, each class is assigned to run a holiday event for the school. So, when the school president notifies you that your class will be in charge of the Valentine’s Day event this year, you’re over the moon.

You’re determined to pull off an amazing event not only because your pride as class representative is on the line, but simply because you love the concept of Valentine’s Day.

During your break between classes you rack your brain, trying to think of an idea that will blow the entire school away.

“What about a kissing booth?”

You turn to look at your friend, nose scrunching in distaste, “Really? A kissing booth? I think that’s overdone and quite frankly, disgusting, Yachi.”

Embarrassment is written all over her face and you can’t help but feel bad at your small outburst, “Sorry Yachi, that was rude of me. I do appreciate you trying to help me though.”

Her messy blonde hair sways side to side as she shakes her head, “No, you’re right. I’d feel sorry for whoever has to kiss hundreds of random strangers.” A giggle escapes your lips when you see the way she gags at the thought.

“Hey, Y/N are you planning to do something with Tsukishima for Valentine’s?”

The question catches you off guard. You’ve been dating for just about a year now and you know he wasn’t exactly into these sorts of things but surely, he at least had something planned, right? Just as you’re about to respond, the school bell goes off, signalling the start of your third period.

For the rest of the day, your mind is preoccupied with brainstorming. Love telegrams? Serenades? Chocolates? No, although traditional, it was all too boring to you.

It’s only the when the ring of your cellphone brings you back to reality. Your face lights up at the caller ID, your finger quickly swiping across the screen.

“Kei! Where have you been?”

When you hear your boyfriend’s voice for the first time today, your worries seem to fade away. “Yamaguchi, Hinata and Kageyama kept pestering me to practice with them during all our breaks today.” You can just imagine the scowl he has plastered on his face.

“Well it can’t be helped. After all, interhighs will be here before you know it. You’ve got to set a good example for all your juniors.” You hear him sigh on the other end, “Yeah I guess but, that means we won’t be able to see each other as much.”

The corner of your lips lifts upward into a wide smile. Tsukishima has never been the type to be so forward when expressing his affection towards you, so you always cherish these types of moments.

You’re suddenly reminded of what Yachi asked you earlier in the day and you ponder whether or not you should bring it up with him.

“Hey, Kei?”

“Hm?”

“Do you have anything planned for Valentine’s Day?” You can barely make it out, but you definitely hear him scoff.

“Probably not. I don’t really understand why people go crazy over it. It’s so corny and unnecessarily expensive, it’s just a waste of a day.”

You nod your head, even though he can’t see you, “I see. Well I have homework to do, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Kei.”

Before he can respond, you end the call, throwing your phone on the bed.

Why were you so upset? You know that your boyfriend was like this; you understand that he isn’t fond of big theatrics when it came to love. You like him and he likes you, that’s all that should matter. Yet, for some reason, you can’t get rid of the tight feeling building in your chest.

When you wake up the next day, your heart still feels heavy.  Last night’s conversation still lingers in your mind, maybe because you know there’s some truth to what he said. Or maybe, it’s because you secretly hoped he’d take advantage of the holiday to show you how much he cared for you.

Pushing your thoughts away, you busy yourself with getting ready for another day of school.

When you arrive, you easily spot your boyfriend, his tall frame towering over most of the other students. One of his friends catches your eye, before giving your boyfriend a gentle a nudge, pointing towards you. Tsukishima turns to look at you momentarily before quickly walking off in the direction of his classroom.

Automatically, your lips turn into a frown. He must be upset because you abruptly hung up on him last night. You let out a sigh; maybe you’d buy him a slice of his favourite strawberry shortcake and surprise him after his practice.

During class your mind is anywhere but the lesson, your focus drifting between the Valentine’s event and Tsukishima avoiding you.

“Y/N”

“Y/N!”

Your seatmate gives you a sharp nudge to the side, bringing your attention to the front of the room.

“I believe you have an announcement for the class?”

You scramble out of your seat, smoothing out the wrinkles in your uniform as you make your way to the front of the classroom, “This year our class has been chosen to run the Valentine’s day event.” A mixture of groans and excited whispers fill the classroom, “If you would like to participate in the planning process please let me know. Those who do not partake in the planning are required to participate in the execution of the event.”

During lunch, much to your relief, a number of students approach you to offer their help. As a group, you exchange ideas back and forth and by the end of lunch break you’ve collected a wide variety of ideas. All that was left was to actually decide on one.

Happiness and excitement settles in your chest, and you can barely sit still for the rest of the day.  When the final bell goes off, those helping with the event hurriedly crowd around your desk to continue the conversation from earlier.

“Okay well we definitely have to have flowers and chocolate! How can you have Valentine’s Day without those?”

“Singing attracts way too much attention. I would literally die of embarrassment if I got serenaded in front of the whole class.”

“Telegrams are so overdone, but I also think they’re romantic, they definitely fit the vibe.”

“What if we set up an event based on the red string of fate?” Once you hear the idea your heart falls in love.

“Watanabe, that’s a great idea! Students can send in their profiles and whether  they’re looking for love or friendship. Then we’ll match them based on preferences. On Valentines Day, we’ll separate students onto two sides of the sports field.  They’ll find the card with their names and put on their string before they set off to find their match!”

Excited chatter erupts among the group, everyone adding in their two cents. The next while is spent delegating tasks to everyone, from promotion to design to operations. By the time you wrap up it’s already close to 7pm.

Grabbing your belongings, you quickly throw them into your bag. Tsukishima should be wrapping up practice soon, and unless his teammates ask him to stay the two of you could walk home together.

Quickly, you make your way to the gym to find your boyfriend. From quite a distance away you can clearly hear Hinata and Kageyama shouting at each other as usual. When you arrive at the door, you’re greeted by a chorus of “hellos” from the volleyball club.

Your boyfriend jogs over to you, stopping just shy of the door. Upon further inspection, you can see the beads of sweat forming on his nose and forehead and you can’t help but smile, knowing how hard he must be working to make it to nationals this year.

“Y/N? What are you doing here still?” there’s a hint of standishoffness in his voice but you brush it aside, “My class was assigned to the Valentine’s Day event, so I stayed behind with some classmates to do some planning. I thought that we could walk home together?”

Tsukishima’s lips press into a thin line. Was he still angry with you?

“Sorry, but we’re still practicing.”

A voice chimes in from behind, “What are you talking about? You just said-”

The tall male whips around, you can’t see his expression but by the way Hinata reacts, you can tell he’s glaring at him.

“You know what, forget it. You obviously don’t want to walk home with me and I’m an adult so I can walk myself home.” Turning on your heels, you storm away from the gym, ignoring your boyfriend as he calls your name.

The next couple of weeks fly by as you’re busy preparing for the Valentine’s event.  Applications flow in every day, and although you’re glad the event is a hit you can’t help but feel exhausted.

The fact that you and Tsukishima haven’t spoken properly since your outburst doesn’t help either. Your text messages are short and infrequent; a simple “good morning” and “good night”, and sometimes the occasional “have a good day”.

Before you know it, Valentine’s Day arrives. As you step onto the field, your heart is racing uncontrollably. You’ve spent the past month alongside your classmates working out every single kink to ensure everything would be perfect for today.

You raise your arm into the air, the red flag in your hand dancing in the cold winter breeze. Taking in a deep breath, you call out as loud as you can, “Ready... set.... go!”

Laughter fills the air as you watch your school mates stumble between each other trying to find their other half for the day through the sea of red.

“Pull on your string, you might be my match!”

“Quit pushing me!”

“Hey, stop trying to tangle my string!!”

“You guys are totally matched together, you’re literally the same person.”

Your cheeks start to ache from smiling so hard, but you can’t help yourself. Watching as everyone slowly finds the end of the red string creates a warmth in your chest. You haven’t felt this way since... well since the day Tsukishima confessed to you.

It had happened last winter. The two of you were walking home together after his volleyball practice. You’re not sure what came over you at the time but you thought it would be a good idea to throw a snowball at him. The look on his face when the cold white powder hit him square in his chest was absolutely priceless. But the moment didn’t last long when he made a much much much larger snowball.

You screamed at the top of your lungs as he chased after you, determined to get back at you. After a few minutes, your lungs started to give out and so you turned around, hands held up in the air, “I give up, I’m sorry.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, snowball still in his hands ready to throw it at you if need be, “What are you sorry for?”

You tried to stifle your laughter, for someone who acted so cool all the time, seeing that side of him was honestly quite refreshing, “I’m sorry for throwing a snowball at you. You must be cold.”

“No.” In three swift strides, Tsukishima is standing in front of you, “I never feel cold when I’m with you, Y/N.”

A distant voice snaps you out of your daydream. When you come back to your senses, you realize everyone has found their match and is waiting for your closing remarks. Grabbing the microphone you quickly thank everyone for participating, sending them off with well wishes.

Once the majority of the students leave the field, you round up your classmates, thanking them for all the hard work they put into the event.

As you head back inside, a familiar voice calls your name, “Y/N!”

“Watanabe, thank you for the amazing idea. There’s no way I would have been able to think of something as creative as this.”

They quickly shake their head, “No way, I should be the one thanking you. You had so many more ideas to add on that really brought it to life. This event was totally a hit, I heard a lot of people saying they want to do this again next year.”

A comfortable silence settles between the two of you as you head back to your classroom to grab your things.

“Hey, Y/N...?”

“Yes?”

“Are you doing anything tonight?” Your head snaps towards them, the surprise evident on your face.

“Ah sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just wondering since you always seem so excited to talk about Valentine’s Day.”

You reach out, giving their shoulder a gentle pat, “That’s okay, I don’t mind,” you pause momentarily, “I don’t think I’m doing anything.”

Watanabe nods their head, clearly thinking about whether or not they should puruse the current topic. When they choose to let it go, you silently thank them, not wanting to be reminded of the fact that you and your boyfriend were still on bad terms on the supposed most romantic day of the year.

When you arrive at home, you try to distract yourself with your homework. Hours pass by, not a single message, or phone call. Even if Tsukishima didn’t like the holiday didn’t he at least have the heart to tell you “happy Valentine’s Day? Pulling out your phone, you open up your chat with your boyfriend. But before you can start typing, the familiar typing bubble pops up and you quickly exit out. You watch your screen expectantly, jumping when your phone chimes.

[10:43pm] ♥kei♥: good night.

Immediately, your shoulders deflate. That was it? Another simple goodnight? Throwing your phone in the corner, you climb into bed and shut your eyes. Maybe in your dreams you’d meet Tsukishima in a world where he truly cared.

Your body feels sluggish in the morning as you make your way to your cubby. Instead of sweet dreams, you tossed and turned all night unable to get Tsukishima off your mind. Pulling your indoor shoes out of their slot, you drop them to the floor with a thunk. You slip off your outdoor shoes, and just as you’re about to put them away, a red envelope catches your eye.

You look around to see if anybody is watching you, but everyone around you is absorbed in their own conversations. Quickly, you stuff your shoes away, before tearing the red packaging open.  

Dearest Y/N,

Where do I begin? When I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were an angel sent from the heavens. Seeing you smile at me sends my heart into a frenzy, and quite frankly, I’m not sure if I’ve even recovered from the last time you looked at me with those eyes. Those beautiful eyes that I could get lost in forever.

If only you were mine, I’d make you happy.

Love,

Your Secret Admirer

You were at a loss for words. From the way they addressed you, it was obvious it wasn’t your boyfriend. Yet, you couldn’t think of a single person that could have written you this letter.

The warning bell goes off and you shove the letter into your bag, rushing off to homeroom.

As the week continues on, so did the letters. No matter how hard you looked, you couldn’t figure out who was leaving them for you.

At your wits end, you decide to confide in Yachi. If you couldn’t catch sight of your secret admirer, maybe she could, “I’m telling you Yachi, it’s definitely not Kei. I have no idea who it could be and I have no idea how they keep slipping me these notes without me noticing!”

As you ramble on about your secret admirer, you fail to notice how silent Yachi has become. When you finally realize, you notice how stiff she’s become; the colour has drained from her face and she’s not looking at you, but past you.

Slowly you turn around, only to be met with a cold pair of eyes. The grip around your wrist is tight as you’re dragged down the hallway.

“Kei, you’re hurting me. Let go!” Your complaints are dismissed as the two of you continue on, stopping only when you reach the gym used by the boys’ volleyball club. Your body is shoved into the supply room, Tsukishima slamming the door shut behind the two of you.

Click

“Why have you been ignoring me?”

Your mouth hangs open, completely lost for words, “Kei you can’t be serious.”

The way his gaze pierces through you tells you he’s dead serious.

“Is it because of the letters you’ve been receiving? Who are they from? Do you like them?” His questions come rushing at you so fast, you can barely catch everything he’s saying.

But the longer he goes on, the angrier you feel yourself become. You can hear the blood rushing in your ears, your body trembles with anger, you even think you might be seeing red.

“Do you want to break up with me?”

It’s like something inside you snaps and you can’t bear to listen to his rambling any longer, “Tsukishima Kei,” your voice rings loud and clear in the small room. For a moment even you’re stunned at yourself.

You open your mouth to speak again, but the only thing that comes out of your mouth is a weak sob. You lean over, resting your hands on your knees as the tears build in your eyes. It only takes a moment for them to start streaming down your face.

“Kei you’re so stupid, you’re so fucking stupid.” When you feel his fingers graze your skin, you immediately step away, your back hitting the layer of gym mats.

He takes a step towards you, “Y/N...please tell me what I did wrong. Please.” His voice is soft, barely a whisper.

When you look up at him, he looks just as ruined as you do. The area around his eyes is bright red, tears brimming his eyes.

"I wish you loved me more.” The words are bitter in your mouth, but there’s truth in them.

But when you see the look on his face, you’re instantly filled with regret, “Kei I didn’t-” but he cuts off you off before you can continue, “Is this because I said I wasn’t planning anything for Valentine’s Day?”

You say nothing, but your silence tells him everything he needs to know. Running his fingers through his hair, he lets out a frustrated sigh, “Maybe if you weren’t hanging out with Watanabe or any of those other people.”

“We were working on the Valentine’s Day event, and you know that.” you spit back at him, anger brewing in your chest once again.

He steps towards you again, arms trapping you between his body and the mats behind you, “I bet one of them is the one sending you the letters.”

When you don’t respond, he starts to make his way out of the supply room stopping momentarily to look back at you, “Y/N, I don’t need a shitty holiday to express how much I love being with you, when I do it everyday. Or at least that’s what I thought.”

With that, he leaves you, his footsteps heavy against the hardwood floors of the gym.

Over the weekend, you try to distract yourself from thinking about Tsukishima. But no matter what you do, everything always seems to lead right back to him.

Like the hoodie you’re wearing that he (reluctantly) gave you when you snuck out past midnight that one time. Or when your parents bring home the strawberry cake that the two of you would sometimes share at the bakery near your house.

While you drown in your feelings you ignore the knock on the door. But it comes again, and again, and again. Forcing yourself up from your bed, you make your way downstairs.

Swinging the front door open, you’re greeted by nothing but the emptiness of your front yard. Just as you’re about to shut the door, a flash of red catches your eye.

On the ground is a card and attached is a piece of long red string. The string passes your front gate but that’s as far as you can see. Cautiously you pick up the card, your name written clearly on the front. You don’t recognize the writing and so you debate with yourself for a few moments.

You shout to your parents that you’ll be back, not bothering to tell them why you were running off so late at night.

As you follow the red string you pass a number of familiar places. Your favourite bakery, the record store that has all the albums of your favourite artists, and the book store you like to hide in on rainy days.

At last, the string leads you to the park. Your eyes follows the string to where it disappears behind a nearby tree. Slowly you approach, your feet crunching against the snow.

Just before you can identify the person at the end of the string, a ball of white is hurled towards your chest.

You look down, the icy crystals already melting into the fabric of your hoodie. The sound of footsteps catch your attention, the culprit walking out with his signature smirk plastered across his face.

“What the hell was that for?”

Suddenly, you’re pulled into a hug. It’s warm and familiar, the feeling has you melting into his arms.

His hands grab fistfuls of your hoodie, pushing you closer to his body, holding you as if you were going to melt away just like the snow. Part of you is still angry at him for lashing out at you, but the other part of you knows that you were also in the wrong. So you stay, you stay in his arms because when you’re together like this, your heart knows that it’s home.

The two of you continue to stand there, breathing in sync, hearts beating as if they were one. 

“Y/N I’m sorry.” His voice breaks the silence between the two of you.

One of his arms wraps itself securely around your waist, the other rising to cup your cheek, “I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you like that, it’s not your fault you were getting those letters.”

You shake your head furiously, wanting to tell him he’d done nothing wrong but when you look into his golden eyes. It’s a look you’ve never once seen before. It’s almost as if they’re pleading for you to listen, just for now. So desperate yet so full of love.

“I should have realized how important Valentine’s Day is to you. When you hung up on me, I should have realized. When I saw you the next day I shouldn’t have run from you. Being away from you hurt me, and I know it hurt you just as much. It wasn’t fair of me.”

There are a million thoughts running through your mind, but there’s one that you can see clearly.

“Kei, I love you.”

Maybe it was the winter chill, or maybe you’ve finally managed to fluster him, but nonetheless his ears burn a bright red.

“I didn’t mean what I said the other day - about wishing you loved me more. I know you do. I know you don’t say it often, but everything you do for me shows me you do.”

You ramble on, listing every action of love, big or small, that you can recall. Your speech is cut short when your boyfriend captures your lips in a chaste kiss.

His lips are cold against yours, yet when he pulls away, your mouth feels like they’ve been set aflame, “Y/N, I love you. If you want, I’ll make you feel as if Valentine’s Day is everyday.”

Your heart flip flops at those three words but all you can say is, “Kei you’re cold.”

Gently, he knocks his forehead against yours, “I’m never cold. Not when I’m with you.”

[lassieposting]

Hi i havent read the books post-resurrection so im kinda lost on why you dont like phase 2 val? She was easily one of my favourite characters ever, she was flawed (and the books took time to acknowledge them) and relatable and still really admirable (intelligent, brave, loyal) and i really liked her and really appreciated that she wasn’t perfect unlike every other young adult heroines. What went wrong😢😢😢😢

Okay I'm gonna put this under a cut because I very strongly dislike phase 2 val and I know it bugs people who don't feel the same, so. Dead dove dont eat

Okay so first off, phase 1 val and phase 2 val are completely different people. literally. phase 1 val was based on an ex-friend of lardo's who used to apparently be involved pretty heavily in like, editing the books and "she'd react like this" or "val wouldn't say that", and that val she was one of my favourite fictional characters from when book one came out to the release of resurrection. phase 2 val is based on his whiny little girlfriend who likes to start shit with 14yos on twitter, and you can absolutely tell she is no longer the same person. so the long story short of "what went wrong" is "the original irl val's friendship with dirty laundry ended for whatever reason and he decided to retcon her entire personality to suit his gf"

Phase 2 Val, in my opinion:

Weak, like won't even fight back when she gets jumped bc boo fucking hoo she's so awful, bitch get up already, nobody signed up for ur pity party

Whiny. So fucking whiny. All the time. And she's the POV character so it's inescapable.

"Pacifist" but in a really pathetic virtue-signalling kind of way like "Oh, I've done such terrible thiiiiiiiiiiings I'm so awfulllllllllllll look how good I'm trying to be nowwwwwwww pay attention to meeeeeeee" kind of way, it was both boring and a massive eye roll. It's a book about magic and asskicking. Kick some ass. We're here for escapism not "realistic" whining. Yes, irl she'd be a mess. As an author it's his job to strike a balance between the "realism" he wants to portray and making his readers so depressed and done with his heroine that they quit reading, and in my case, he absolutely failed.

Everything must be about her at all times. Skug is having personal problems? Fuck him, they're about her now. Everything is about how it affects her, and her feelings, and be damned to the person actually having the problem. Fucks phase 2 val cain gives about anyone except herself: 0

Bitter and jaded. Which yeah I get why but it's like jesus christ what do we get out of reading about this? It's not even good bitter and jaded where it makes you empathise or admire her strength in adversity or whatever, she's just become a really nasty person with no redeeming features that I could see. Which? Landy outright said she's based on his gf? If your boyfriend is gonna drag ur entire personality through the dirt like that and write "you" as just a collection of incredibly negative traits...yikes.

Really ungrateful about the awesome life she leads? Which bugs me bc I fucking hate mundanity and knowing that all there is to life is fucking working and bad mental health. I would kill to live her life. All she does is moan about it. Like? Quit then. Fuck off back to being a mortal if it's that bad and live the shitty life you wanted to get away from in the first place. That way we'd get no more books, and quite honestly, thank fuck for that. But anyway, she needs to pick one, stick with it, and stop complaining about whatever she chose.

The girl wallows in self pity. And if someone else isn't indulging her enough, she'll wallow harder and louder and more obviously. Yawn.

Her POV is now so depressing to read that Resurrection literally tanked my mental health. I'm not kidding. I fell off the self-harm wagon, the suicidal thoughts came back, reading her dissociating would make me dissociate, I just did not cope whatsoever. Being in her head was just like being in my head during my worst points, and I hate myself, so naturally, I hate her too. Like I get why some people like phase two val. I get that her depression is "realistic" and that trauma does just make some people completely dislikeable and self-pitying, and if people want to read about that, then...sure. you do you, my dudes. But I live that reality, I am that person whose trauma made her a dysfunctional, isolated bitch, and I hate, passionately, having it infest the media I consume to escape.

Essentially if I wanted to engage with a bitter, spiteful, depressed piece of shit in her 20s who pushes everyone away and sucks at everything, I'd live my gd life. Yall see me tryna engage with my real life? Hell nah I'm on tumblr dot com burying my head up the ass of whatever fandom will force my brain to produce some s e r o t o n i n and that is what I need this series for

Also? The dynamic she had with skug in phase one? "Until the end"? "You save me, I save you, that's how we work"? Forget that, it doesn't exist anymore. I stopped reading after Midnight, because she was written like he was a coworker she could barely tolerate. They went from "Lardo confirms on twitter that they talked on the phone a bunch while she was in america and he'd always ask her to come home" to "she comes home and proceeds to blank him for five months while she sits in her fuckin multimillionaire's mansion feeling sorry for herself". Their friendship completely disintegrated, they were totally separated for most of the book, she's written as not giving a single shit about him. She treated him like dirt, and their dynamic basically felt like it was becoming "Local Man With History Of Gravitating Towards Abusive Women Makes Same Terrible Choices For Fifth Time" and? that was the point of no return to me. he supports her unconditionally, no matter what he's going through at the time, he's walked on broken bones to try and get to her when she was in danger, she can tell him anything and he'd never use it against her. I did not, for one second in phase two, believe she felt the same about him. tbh it felt like she could - and wanted to - drop him at the first opportunity and not even feel bad about it, and that's not the dynamic that made me so emotionally attached to phase one. i signed up for "until the end", not whatever bullshit phase two has going on.

Apparently she's "less depressed" now and their relationship is "better" in the books published since midnight, which! might well be true. but I haven't read them and don't intend to, and she's gone from one of my favourite fictional characters ever (which! was impressive! because i almost never bond with the female lead - i normally get attached exclusively to the character i crush on, which would be skug here. val was the first female lead i actually cared about since xena! so im deeply salty about losing her!) to a character i? honestly prefer to pretend doesn't exist. i live in war era dead men/generals crackship land because that way, i don't have to acknowledge her or the fuckin character assassination phase 2 pulled on her.

so yeah, no hate towards phase one val at all. phase one val was awesome and flawed and gave me something to aspire to despite my shitty mental health and trauma, and if she'd kept her original personality she might still have been those things. but the original "real life" val is no longer involved (and doesn't talk to landy at all anymore, apparently), and the val based on landy's insufferable gf? i cannot get behind her at all ever, four for skug and none for phase two val cain bye

(tldr; you're not missing anything by quitting after spx)

[t4twolfstar]

Pearl Jam songs as the marauders' story

listen here

explanations under read more

Red Mosquito - Remus is bit by Greyback

two steps ahead of him, punctures in your neck…/ Hoverin' just above your bed... (2x)/ I was bitten...must have been the devil…/ He was just paying me…/ A little visit, reminding me of his presence…

Jeremy - most of the song, Sirius

Okay so we’re going to look at the verses not the refrain for this one bc (TW su*) this song is based on an actual boy who diy died in front of his class so like no we’re not relating to that part but the “Clearly I remember/ Pickin’ on the boy/ Seemed a harmless little fuck/ But we unleashed the lion….Daddy didn't give affection, no/And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear”

Daughter - Sirius at home

Trans sirius in an abusive household………. “Mother reads aloud, child tries to understand it/Tries to make her proud/ The shades go down, it's in her head/ Painted room, can't deny that something's wrong/ Don’t call me daughter, not fit to”

Leash - Sirius and Remus’ toxic codependent love and then yelling at the establishment/people who say they’re too young going too deep too hard too fast

“Troubled souls unite/ We got ourselves tonight, oh/ I am fuel you are friends we got the means to make amends/ I am lost I'm no guide but I'm by your side/ I am right by your side….We will find a way we will find our place/ Drop the leash drop the leash/Get outta' my fuckin' face”

Why Go? - Sirius becoming disenchanted w his family

Trans Sirius too of course. She seems to be stronger/ But what they want/ Her to be is weak/ She could play pretend/ She could join the game, boy/ She could be another clone….don’t come visit/mother/ why go home?

Blood - Sirius’ family trying to make him into something he’s not

Spin me round/ Roll me over/ Fucking circus/ Stab it down/ One way needle/ Pulled so slowly/ Drains and spills/ Soaks the pages/ Fills their sponges/ It’s my blood/ It’s my blood

WMA - basically about all the big pureblood families that can get away w anything

“He won the lottery when he was born/ Took his mothers white breast to his tongue/ Do no wrong so clean cut/ Dirty his hands, it comes right off” (tw for song: police, implied police violence)

Do the Evolution - Sirius ranting abt/mocking his family

Admire me, admire my home/ Admire my son, he's my clone…./ I'll do what I want but irresponsibly/ It’s evolution, baby/ I’m a thief, I'm a liar/ There’s my church, I sing in the choir:/ (Hallelujah, hallelujah)

Bushleaguer - abt the aristocracy etc

This song is literally about George bush lmao but I love it abt the upper class

“Born on third, thinks he got a triple…./The aristocrat choir sings, "what's the ruckus?”/ The haves have not a clue/ The immenseness of suffering”

Mind your manners - You guessed it - Sirius rejecting his family

I've got an unfortunate feelin’/ I've been beaten down/I feel I don't believe/ And now the truth is coming out/ What they've taken is more than a vow/ They’ve taken your innocence/ And then they throw them on a burning fire/ All along they're sayin’/ Mind your manners

My father’s son - SIRIUS

I am my father's son,/ Yeah, too bad he was a psychopath and now I'm the next in line, , dear mother, yes, surely she's a work of art,…/Can I get a reprieve?/ This gene pool dark and deep…./Now father you're dead and gone and I'm finally free to be me,/ Thanks for all your dark gifts for which I've got no sympathy,/ I’m living in a walled-up place in the bounds of 5th symphony

Yellow Ledbetter - Sirius

Okay so 97% of the the lyrics are indecipherable when Eddie sings them but you can hear I don’t wanna stay

Go - Regulus to Sirius as he’s trying to leave

(Abuse tw) So sorry about this one yall …… .but yes I think this is regulus finally realizing that he shouldn’t have let things get so bad at home (Sirius blames him for not stepping in even tho he’s a child there’s nuance here etc) and he’s begging Sirius not to leave him here “Oh please don't go out on me don't go out on me now/ Never acted up before don't go on me now/ I swear I never took it for granted just thought of it now/ Suppose I abused you just passing it on….I pulled the covers over him shoulda' pulled the alarm/ Turned to my nemesis…Please don't go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ please”

Rearviewmirror - Sirius running away

(Tw abuse) Time to emancipate/ I guess it was the beatings made me wise….Forced to endure/ What I could not forgive/ I seem to look away/ Wounds in the mirror waved/ It wasn't my surface most defiled

Can’t Keep - Sirius running away from home

I want to shake/ I want to wind out/ I want to leave/ This mind and shout/ I’ve lived/ All this life/ Like an ocean/ In disguise/ I don't live for ever/ You can't keep/ Me here

Hail, Hail - Remus and Sirius’ codependent strong love

A how I love you till the day I die...ah and beyond…/ are we going to the same place? If so, can I come?/ It’s egg rollin' thick and heavy...all the past we carry…

Release - Remus thinking about his dad

Remus’ dad is so full of guilt for his hand in remus’ transformations that he extracted himself from remus’ life. Remus laments here, “Oh, dear dad/ Can you see me now?/ I am myself/ Like you somehow” “I'll hold the pain/Release me” he’d would rather have a dad, guilt and all, here, than the self appointed absence but since you left me with the absence and grief and loss of it, at least release me from it, loosen your grip so I can move on.

Present Tense - Sirius and Remus talking probably laying in the forbidden forest assuaging one another’s beliefs of the gnarled beasts they think they are

BUGS - prob remus when he turns before the boys know

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Who you are - probably James at remus when he thinks he’s a big monster

Who are we?/ Who we are./ What’s your part? Who you are / You are who you are.

Save you - GOD THIS SONGG okay this is probably James @ Sirius when home life is bad and also Sirius @ Remus and also Remus @ Sirius it’s all of them @ all of them

Gonna save you fucker, not gonna lose you/ Feeling cocky and strong, can't let you go,/ Too important to me/ Too important to us, we'd be lost without you/ Baby, let yourself fall, I'm right below you now/ And fuck me if I say something you don't want to hear/ And fuck if you only hear what you want to hear/ Fuck me if I care, but I'm not leaving here/ You helped me when I was down, I'll help when you're down/ Why are you hitting yourself, c'mon hit me instead

Life Wasted - Sirius @ Reg re: leaving

I escaped it, a life wasted./ I’m never going back again…./ You're always saying you're too weak to be Strong./ You’re harder on yourself than just about Anyone/ Why swim the channel just to get this far?/ Halfway there, why would you turn around?

Severed Hand - Reg joins the death eaters

Big man stands behind an open door/ Said, leave your lady on the cement floor./ Got some kicks, want to take a ride?/ I said, yeah!/ Oh please understand I just need, my friend,/ A way a way a way home

Brain of J. - Reg and Sirius arguing after he joins the death eaters

The whole world will be different soon/ The whole world will be relieving/ You, you've been taught/ We’d been the same, now they got you in line/ Stand behind the stripes/ There will be order, so give it a good mind…./And by name/ The name they gave me/ The name I'm letting go

Deep - Regulus knows he’s in too deep

This is Regulus knowing he’s in too deep, Voldemort and the death eaters are such bad fucking people and he’s in too deep now (massive tw for this song for drugs and se*ual violence)

“Ponders his Maker, ponders his will/ in too deep/ can’t touch the bottom”

Pilate - Remus abt Sirius ;0)

Like Pilate I have a dog/ (Obeys listens kisses loves)/ Walks me out of town/ Still one's a crowd/ Making angels in the dirt/ Looking up looking all around

You Are - in love 🥰

Love is a tower/ Of strength to me/ I am the shoreline/ But you're the sea

Red Bar - the war begins

War, I’m crazy/ War I’m crazy I’m war the song is also a lil goofy so it’s maybe just like going crazy being so in it that it’s funny now

Porch - WARTIME EVERYONE @ THEIR LOVERS

It’s the war and everyone knows today could be their last day and tensions are running high in relationships and they love each other so much and need each other but snap at one another nonetheless

What the fuck is this world running to?/ You didn't leave a message/ At least I could have learned your voice one last time/ Daily minefield, this could be my time by you/ Would you hit me? Would you hit me?/ Hear my name, take a good look/ This could be the day/ Hold my hand, walk beside me

Thin Air - babes in love

There's a light, when my baby's in my arms,/ There’s a light, when the window shades are drawn…/ And I know she's reached my heart, in thin air.

All or None - More war time songs soz

Here's the selfless confession/ Leading me back to war/ Can we help that our destinations/ Are the ones we've been before?/ I still try to run on/ But it's all or none

Parting Ways - Lily @ James during the war

She knows their future's burning/ But she can smile just the same, same/ And though her mood is fine today/ There’s a fear they'll soon be parting ways

Love Boat Caption - Sirius/Remus, Lily/James, etc etc. during the war

Love boat captain/ Take the reigns and steer us towards the clear, here/ It’s already been sung, but it can't be said enough/ All you need is loveIt's an art to live with pain/ Mix the light into grey/ Lost nine friends we'll never know/ Two years ago today/ And if our lives became too long/ Would it add to our regret?…./Hold me and make it the truthThat when all is lost, there will be you

Evacuation - going into hiding

Lukin- Lily and James have to go into hiding

(Tw st*lking mention in explanation, gun mention in song) The song was written by Eddie when he was being stalked and he had to bring himself and his wife to a friend’s house for safety.

In Hiding - Lily and James are in hiding and enter Peter

No way in or out/ I turned and walked the hallways/ And pulled the curtains down…./I swallow the truth to keep from lying/ i'm no longer overwhelmed and it seems so simple now/ Yeah, it's funny how things change so much/ It’s all state of mind

Once - Peter Pettigrew betraying the marauders

Literally about someone committing a mass murder. “Once upon a time I could control myself.” “Mimic whats insane.”

Around the Bend - I'm so sorry ummm but Lily to Harry on Halloween 💀

I am wishing you a well…./ I hold your head deep in my arms/ My fingertips, they close your eyes/ Off you dream, my little child/ There’s a sun around the bend/ Please forgive me, won't you, dear?/ Please forgive and let me share with you, around the bend/ You’re an angel when you sleep/ How I want your soul to keep, on and on around the bend

Garden - Sirius being taken to Azkaban

He’s just taking his fate as it comes to him.

The direction of the eye/ So misleading/ The defection of the soul/ Nauseously quick/I will walk, with my hands bound/ I will walk, with my face blood/ I will walk, with my shadow flag/ Into your garden/ Garden of stone

Even flow - IS SO VERY MUCH SIRIUS IN AZKABAN

sung from the pov of an incarcerated person waiting for life to begin again

BUGS - Sirius in Azkaban (yes I already said this abt remus but idc)

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Black - Remus lamenting about Sirius’ perceived deception

Remembering their love and how now so many of his memories are tainted (by) black and that all of this has changed him fundamentally (star imagery, “black”, “tattooed everything”)

Indifference - Sirius in grimmauld place, sirius in Azkaban

Sirius taking his home life in stride until he can leave, taking Azkaban in stride bc it doesn’t matter any way bc he believes he deserve it anyway

“Pretend I'm free to roam/ I will make my way/ Through one more day in hell/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I will hold the candle/ Till it burns up my arm/ Oh, I'll keep takin' punches/ Until their will grows tired/ Oh, I will stare the sun down/ Until my eyes go blind/ Hey, I won't change direction/ And I won't change my mind/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I’ll swallow poison, until I grow immune/ I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room”

Alive - Remus post ’81

Eddie originally wrote the song as a lament - why did I live when he didn’t? Why am I still alive?

“Is something wrong she said, of course there is, you’re still alive she said, but do I deserve to be?”

Animal - Remus after ’81 when he needs to transform alone

Feat. A throwback to being turned (so tw: abd*ction) “Torture from you to me, yeah/Abducted from the street/I'd rather be with an animal”

Nothingman - Sirius and Remus after ’81

Once divided nothing left to subtract/ Some words when spoken can't be taken back/ Walks on his own with thoughts he can't help thinking/ Future’s above but in the past he's slow and sinking…./ She once believed in every story he had to tell/ One day she stiffened took the other side/ Empty stares from each corner of a shared prison cell/ One just escapes one's left inside the well

Smile - Remus @ the marauders (except it’s after ’81 and he just thinks of them fondly)

Don't it make you smile?/ I miss you already/ I miss you always/ I miss you already/ I miss you all day/ This is how I feel/ Three crooked hearts swirls all around/ Don’t it make you smile?

In my tree - remus abt sirius after ’81

I remember him, yeah…/ I swore I knew everything, oh yeah…/ They say knowledge is a dream, yeah…/ He's growing up just like me, yeah…

Light Years - Remus abt Sirius

But now you're gone, I haven't figured out why/ I’ve come up with riddles and jokes about war/ I’ve figured out numbers and what they're for/ I’ve understood feelings and I've understood words/ But how could you be taken away?/ Back pages and days alone that could have been spent/ Together, but we were miles apart Every inch between us becomes light years now

I’m open - Remus!!!! Post ’81

After spending half his life searching he still felt as blank/ As the ceiling at which he stared/ He is alive but feels absolutely nothing/ So is he?/ When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him/…..So this is what it's like to be an adult/ If he only knew now what he knew then

Thumbing my Way - Remus post ’81 again blah blah ikik

I can't be free with what's locked inside of me/ If there was a key you took it in your hand/ There’s no wrong or right but I'm sure there's good and bad/ The questions linger overhead

Rats - we know how remus like to soliloquize …. This is him waxing poetic about how fucking horrible Peter is

The song itself is kind of listing the many ills of humankind saying how rats don’t compare to people bc they don’t do all this. But Peter isnt really a rat. He’s a man and oppresses like a man and betrays like a man and takes like a man.

“Drink the blood of their so-called best friend….They don't scurry when something bigger comes their way….Don't take what's not theirs“

Oceans - Sirius escaping Azkaban

Hold on to the thread/ The currents will shift, glide me towards/ You know something's left/ And we're all allowed to dream of the next…..The sea will rise/ Please stand by the shore/ I will be there once more

Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town - Sirius after Azkaban

200004309248% sirius returning from 12 years isolated. He doesn’t really recognize most things. Remus wouldn’t recognize him. He’s different. Changed by being unchanged. He couldn’t grow and learn and morph and become. He stagnated yet decayed. But he’s back and he recognizes your skin and your breath. He’s back.

Off He Goes - Sirius is a Sagittarius in the first half, second half is post PoA

Know a man his face seemed pulled and tense/ Like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds/ So I approach with tact/ Suggest that he should relax/ But he's always movin' much too fast/ Said he'll see me on the flip side/ On this trip he's taken for a ride…./ And now I rub my eyes for he has returned/ Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned/ For he still smiles and he's still strong/ Nothing’s changed, but the surrounding bullshit, that has grown/ And now he's home, and we're laughing, like we always did/ My same old, same old friend/ Until a quarter-to-ten

All Those Yesterdays - and cue the bath scene, remus washes his lost love

Don't you think you oughta rest?/ Don’t you think you oughta lay you head down?/ You don't think there's time to stop/ There’s time enough for you to lay your head down tonight tonight/ Let it wash away/ All those yesterdays

[lizacstuff]

SCK/Edser ask (33 & 34 spec)

(asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: Do you know what happened with the second set of writers? I know Ayse left on her own accord but why the sudden shift from that second writing team to these new ones? I don't think they even announced that the writers were changing, the fans found out during the credits one day. If that second set of writers was still here, I'd be fully confident that we're going to get a great payoff with Serkan when he remembers but they're not, so my expectations are rock bottom at this point

Such a bummer! No idea what happened to them. I’m wondering if they signed on for a certain number of episodes and when those were done, they moved on? Only being around for 7 or 8 episodes is not a lot though. One wonder if it was them or the production company wasn’t happy with them? Though the episodes were pretty well written so I’d hope the production company didn’t jettison them. Or just a run of the mill scheduling conflict.

In any case I agree, I’d have so much more confidence in their execution of this story if they were still writing. 

With this new team, I honestly thought that episode 32 was decent, but 33 just sort of dashed that away it was so poorly executed. 

Anonymous said: Hi - I always value your thoughts on SCK so thanks for taking the time to reply to asks! :)

Something that’s been plaguing me since the amnesia plot began is that nobody seems to have told Serkan about the BIG DETAIL that his father was responsible for the death of Eda’s parents???! Like surely that would provide some crucial context to Serkan and raise several questions e.g how did I manage to stay in a relationship with this woman, we must have had a strong relationship/overcome huge problems/trusted eachother etc. It just baffles me that everyone seems to have forgotten about what used to be a major plot line. How do you think it could play out if Eda or maybe Aydan revealed that back story to amnesia Serkan?

Thanks, I appreciate the kind words!  Agreed! This is a headscratcher. When he came back I kind of assumed that he knew that part of the history, at least at a superficial level, just because he sat down with Engin and heard the story from his perspective. I can’t imagine Engin would leave that part out, and it’s pretty integral detail in how Eda’s grandmother, and then Eda, ended up with 45% of the company. 

I also would guess that Selin would have told him about it, just because it allows her to paint Eda as potentially someone who was out for revenge from the beginning, someone who targeted him and manipulated him because of it.

So I think he must know, at least something about it about it, what’s frustrating is that it doesn’t seem like something that weighs on him or that he’s curious about. Or perhaps when he first heard about it he compartmentalized it and it didn’t weigh with him because at that time Eda was some evil person out to manipulate him, so he hasn’t paid it much attention, but now that he’s gotten to know her and realizes he has feelings for her, he hasn’t really revisited it? He’s very confused and has a lot going on and he’s thinking about her all the time, while trying not to, so it may have gotten lost in that tug-o-war. 

I do hope it comes up and they have a conversation about it. How has he not already asked her, “If my father was to blame for your parent’s death, why would you want to marry me?” Because regardless whether or not he’s in love with her, this is new information to him.  And he hasn’t dealt with the emotional fallout of finding out his father did that and hid that, and the affect it would have had on Eda.  One would hope that even robot Bolat would feel some compassion toward a woman his father was responsible for orphaning. 

Anonymous said: one of the asks you got about serkan not remembering things via their special "objects" had me thinking about one line he says waaay back during their breakup where he says something along the lines of he "doesn't need things for him to remember her" when he gets rid of her things at his house.. i know the writers aren't writing it with that in mind bc i know even most of the fandom doesn't remember it since it's been so long, but i still think it's quite apt for the situation 🥺

YES! it’s in episode 24, when she is over at his house and she notices that none of the things from their time together are there and she says something like that it’s probably for the best because if they’re here you can’t forget. And that’s when he says:

“In my opinion, things are not needed to remember a person.” 

I agree that it’s quite appropriate for the current situation. It’s not about the things or the objects, it’s about them. 

Anonymous said: i know people feel like we've been going in circles, at to some extent we ARE.. (i mainly think as long as the engagement games keep going it will feel like that) but serkan has made huge progress since he came back in 29.. the serkan in 29 or even 30 would not be reacting like the serkan in 34.. sure he still says things that are frustrating to eda and audience (mainly to rile her up, but also bc he prob doesn't realize it's hurtful) but his progress IS happening even if it doesn't feel like it

Oh, I 100% agree. Serkan has made huge progress, the things he said to Engin this episode would have been unthinkable in any other episode since the amnesia. Serkan going to the flower shop and helping her plant terrariums would also have been unthinkable pre 32. However, I get where the frustration is coming from because he always sort of circles back to a place in his interactions with her where it feels like little to no progress has been made. Though, as I said last week, I do think they show cumulative affect, when they have those big moments where they make progress, he’s further along than he was during the last big moment. But I think him stepping really far back in other interactions is one of the problems of the writing. They need more nuance and they need to let us see more into what’s going on in his brain. 

Anonymous said:  After everything that has happened I cannot see Eda appreciating a kiss from Serkan while he is still engaged to Selin. So maybe her first reaction after the kiss is to ask if he got his memories back and then something about Selin. When it becomes clear that they are still together then I could see her telling him off. Something like “when you’re engaged you aren’t supposed to be kissing other people and if you want to kiss other people then maybe you should not be engaged.” Or even “when we were engaged if I had found out you kissed someone else, it would have killed me” so you need to figure out what you want & stop hurting people. I could care less about Selin being cheated on because she is the worst but Eda deserves way better than that. Plus it would show Serkan that she really is a good person especially since it is very clear how much she dislikes Selin. She gave back the ring after he got engaged to Selin and unlike Selin, is not willing to accept crumbs given to her by anyone let alone Serkan. Maybe that finally results in Serkan dumping Selin by the end of the episode to chase Eda. Probably grasping at straws right now but I so badly want to be positive about this next episode. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, I could see something like this, but right now, if I had to bet money, I’d say that kiss is his fantasy, so we won’t actually be dealing with this issue. 

We shall see!  

Anonymous said: Will episode 34 finally be when Selin leaves? Surely 6 episodes of her is enough? 😭😭😭

It was spoiled for so long that she’d be leaving in 34, but at this point I don’t see how that would fit! She appears to have been at all the location shoots. 

What do we need to do to get rid of her? Some ancient good riddance ceremony? A gofundme? I’m in!!! Whatever it takes at this point I’ll do any ritual that will get rid of her. 

Anonymous said: I think it's interesting that Ayfer actually hasn't been that anti-Serkan since this amnesia storyline started (maybe its b/c she hasn't had too much time to think about it since she was spending all her time on Alex lol), even though it'd kinda be the perfect time to dig into it since Serkan is now treating Eda differently. But now Ayfer is better than Aydan, Miss "I knew your fiance was alive but didn't tell you." I thought what she told Eda before the restaurant was sweet. She gets 1 point.

Agreed, she gets one point. But just one. We’ll have to see how she does going forward. I kind of assume that she saw Eda’s devastation when Serkan was missing and it sort of snapped her out of her selfishness when it came to her not wanting Eda with Serkan. 

[asotin]

what're your thoughts on castlevania (the netflix show, not the game, ive never played the game) what do you like, what don't you like? make it as long as you want. i don't care if i have to scroll for 5 minutes. go feral (personally trevor is extremely hot and i would like to date sypha. i'm not really into alucard's whole sickly victorian child aesthetic, yknow?)

oh god this is way too long, but you did say to make it as long as i want, and i have a lot of thoughts that i need to inflict on the world

i played two castlevania games, both from the nintendo gameboy era, so please don’t get mad at me, gamers

details below the cut, but since i’ll be talking about season three, i need to preface this with content warnings for mentions of: graphic violence, rape and sexual violence, racism, and the holocaust

before i get into it, i usually don’t go for alucard-type characters either, but knowing that he was redesigned to be bishounen sexy specifically because the boring, middle aged man look he originally had in the games wasn’t appealing makes me enjoy him. and he’s fun with trevor and sypha

do like:

the voice acting

it’s all good. i can’t think of any characters whose voices were awkward or fit poorly. they don't make sypha’s va use the standard flat affect or false high voice women tend to be assigned, trevor sounds suitably worn out but not monotone, and alucard sounds exhausted but in a sexy way

and the spanish dub is killer, arguably superior

the animation & design

it isn’t full-on artsy, but it’s definitely got a distinctive style that’s easy to look at. the color use and effects are gorgeous. it’s a story set in the medieval era, and the mixture of desaturated and oversaturated elements works so well with that

dracula’s castle and the belmont bunker aren't revolutionary in design, but they didn't need to be. they're suitably creepy and empty, and i enjoyed them

the monsters were unique enough to have obvious different types, and the scene where a monster commits blasphemy in a church by accusing a priest of committing blasphemy was good writing

lisa

she shows up to a stranger’s spooky home and scolds him for being rude. she really looked an ancient vampire in the face, told him he had no manners, then had a kid with him. what a phenomenal woman. 11/10, no notes

“start with me, and i’ll start with you.” you know what? i’d fall in love, too

dracula

this ancient, unfriendly vampire let a human woman walk into his home and tell him he’s got no manners. and that made him fall in love with her. just like that. lisa walked in and handed him his ass, and dracula thought “oh i love her”. and when she was killed (more on this in the bad section), he raised literal hell to destroy the world for doing it

speaking of lisa being killed, it fucks me up that it happened because she convinced him to leave the castle and experience the world. he left her alone to see what she loved so much, only to come back and find that the people he’d come to like- the people lisa had loved so much it drove her to help in a way that got her killed- had burned her at the stake. i love a good tragedy, and that’s good tragedy

the way he weeps when he has to fight alucard?? during a showdown in their home?? the “i must already be dead” moment in alucard’s childhood bedroom??? when he speaks to lisa about killing their boy, her greatest gift to him??? poetic cinema.

the trio’s dynamic

three bisexuals with two total brain cells and only alucard bothers using them. incredible

i went so hard for this ot3. it's right there and so good

sypha

she initially seems to be assigned the role of the adult™️ ie she's the only woman and gets stuck being responsible, but surprise! she’s just as annoying and dumb as alucard and trevor. she dropped a castle she didn’t understand on the ground and didn’t think too hard about it. then she argued about breaking it. i love her

if we don’t get an ot3, then she needs to have a dumb gf

alucard

he's got a stupidly low neckline and lower pants. they really leaned into ayami kojima’s redesign, as they should have. his little curl annoys me, though. why the fuck does he have a random section of hair that’s like three inches long when the rest is shoulder length or longer? love that he really looks like lisa

if you say he's canonically bisexual and polyamorous, no he isn't. yes he is. no he isn't :)

trevor

disgusting. a nasty man whose appearance mirrors his state of mind. he's 50 mental illnesses in a dirty jacket and his coping mechanism is… alcohol? maybe? he’s a mess, and i dig it

him trying his trick of kneeing alucard in the balls during their fight? and finding out it doesn't work? (which…… why doesn't it……?) juvenile but suitable

hector

his love of animals makes him my favorite. normally, i won’t touch anything with this much animal death, but i’m willing to set that aside because hector loves them so much. he’s so sweet and kind, and he loves his monster pets

yes he sided with dracula and has some really fucked up ideas about what constitutes humane treatment of people, and yet i love him. 11/10, but i have a lot of notes

isaac

i support him, including his murdering and his decision to support dracula. dracula throwing him out of the castle to save him was so cruel in that it was an attempt at kindness from a man who hated the whole world, but it was against isaac’s wishes

his time with the captain was great

idk enough about islam to know if he's portrayed correctly and haven’t seen any complaints, but given the show’s track record……… i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not great

the forging

very cool. fresh and interesting! hector creating pet friends is cute and heartbreaking. love isaac for his dedication to reducing, reusing, and recycling

season 2’s big battle with all those vampires

the new version of “bloody tears” is phenomenal

this goes back to the animation, but listen……. it's so good. i loved the smoke vampire, and alucard’s fluid wolf transformations. his flying sword looked really good, and incorporating them together? super good to watch. and trevor’s whip?

the type and level of violence are suitable for what it is. it would be weird for a gritty show like this to be bloodless, but i don't think it would work if it were bloody to the extent of a slasher. it's also more clean violence, if that makes sense. you don’t linger just to look at gore; you see it because stabbing someone spills blood. the games weren't about extended, gritty scenes of realistic murder, so the show sticking with quick, slice and dice type fights fit with what i remembered of them

please watch this fight if you don’t remember it or haven’t seen it (part 1, part 2)

trevor’s whips

trevor’s weapons don’t follow the physics of normal whips, and they shouldn't. they’re heavily stylized and clearly a fantasy weapon, but they still have rules that they (mostly) have to obey. his morning star-whip hybrid in particular is so good 

it’s easy to follow, too. a lot of times, speedy weapons disappear, which is an understandable effect but one i find boring because there’s nothing for me to do. i’m just sitting on my ass with nothing to do

trevor’s whips don’t disappear. they’re fast, but you can always see them. and they have weight! you can see them slow down and gain speed. i don’t need physics to be real; i want movement to be pleasing, and that’s exactly what i get with the whips

don’t like:

fridging lisa

she could have been kidnapped (possibly make dracula think she was dead bc people want to lure out her scary demon husband, idk), then s2 could have ended with her and dracula reuniting as he died. she and alucard go on a trip together to attempt to make amends for the pain dracula wrought in lisa’s name. orrrr she dies a tragic death with him and we’re left to hope that they find each other in the afterlife. do vampires get to go to the afterlife? can alucard reintegrate? can he be happy with his new friends? or will he go back to his crypt and sleep again? will he ever be rediscovered? if so, what will he do? deep questions. i would prefer to cogitate on these instead of experiencing the shitshow that is s3

season 3

they should have ended it with dracula’s death. the quality of storytelling goes down immediately. just plummets. i’m sure there were problems in the first two seasons, but this one is so bad, i genuinely can’t remember

but i may as well get specific, so here we go:

abandoning alucard

trevor and sypha leave their friend alone in his childhood home where he just killed his father. where they helped him kill his father who, as i’ve said too many times, raised literal hell to get revenge for people burning alucard’s mother to death

yt they don’t talk about alucard. they don’t make any plans to touch base ever again. trevor’s entire family got killed. sypha’s culture, from which she’s now estranged, is family-centric. if ever two people should give a shit about alucard and know why alucard shouldn’t be left on his own, it's them

so what the hell is going on?

trevor and sypha’s relationship

look. it could be good. it would be better with alucard but they could be together and it could work fine

but this……….

trevor hates what they're doing. he hates traveling around and fighting. he's clearly tired and deeply depressed

sypha not only doesn't care enough to address it (did they forget the first two seasons?? sypha is annoying partly because she doesn't stop poking people) she might not even notice? yes, she's having fun, but trevor is basically dead on his feet in front of her

racism

hector, sumi, and taka all got done dirty 

sumi and taka

i hate the way they died. i hate that i’m certain that the plot won’t bring japan back into the narrative (or if it does, i don’t trust it not to be shitty). i hate the fact that by killing them off, i’m not going to get any more of them. they were interesting!!

speaking of the japanese vampire: the biphobia, arguably, given what happens with alucard

the addition of sexual violence

i don’t need or want lenore. if all she’d done was manipulate hector, i could have lived with that. she’s a villain, so she does bad things. that’s the point. but what she did was a massive escalation. we hadn’t had any sexual violence, and then the last few episodes gave us 

tumblr feminists who love her for how she treated hector need to be quarantined until their brain worms have been cured

everything that happens to hector

what was this shit? why did i open my netflix app and tap castlevania and find them making this man walk around naked in the cold to torture him? and starving him? he got manipulated, degraded, chained up, collared like an animal, and raped. and why? to show us how bad lenore is? that the other vampires are bad because they let her do it? i didn’t sign up for this

the holocaust reference

the imagery at the end of s3 when it’s revealed that the judge has been killing people he’s decided are undeserving to live and collecting their shoes in that barn was chillingly close to images of shoes taken from victims of the holocaust. there's no reason to invoke the holocaust here. it’s unnecessary and in bad taste

[r0h1rr1m]

rambly inception thoughts p.2

this has been kicked off, specifically, by disliking that i failed to include yusuf in this post but there’s already so much going on there re: exact limits/mechanics of imagination in dreams, how to call down projections, moral relativism, crack chara psych, and speculating on the future of ari’s career--and i explained most of it poorly anyway so it’s probably for the best!

to start with, i’ve always imagined that there’s a huge variety in the caliber/class of chemist u can hire in dreamshare. the title probably applies even to people whose capability starts and stops at sourcing base product for somnacin and/or the finished drug. the next level up can maybe mix up different kinds to standard specifications. idk how much education/training u’d need to be able to do this, bc i v much do not chemistry, but i’d bet there’s a lot of variety in ppl’s qualifications in this category, too. a standard formula might affect different ppl slightly differently, like any psychotropic drug (is that even the most sensible analogy to real-world science? idk and i don’t want to risk hours of ultimately fruitless wikipedia spiralling), but in the same vein, the variances will all probably fall within a reasonable range of the same functionality. without, like, some sort of neuro degree, probably, the most fine-tuning a chemist could do is optimize doses/known variants of the drug through trial and error in preparation for a job.

our man yusuf definitely has a high-level neuro degree

so, just like the rest of the team, yusuf is obviously a total powerhouse in his field. like i said, it must take sophisticated knowledge of brain chemistry in order to do what he did on the fischer job, as well as the same mad genius as the rest of them. (as an aside, can i just say how utterly delightful a team dynamic is “group of geniuses who surround themselves with enough people who are the same kind of batshit to normalize it”? i’m weak) and idk how someone gets famous in like neurochem but yusuf is so brilliant he was probably p well known. js imagine the comedic potential of whatever rising-star chemist meeting yusuf and js going dr. ____?! who published those completely revolutionary but completely balls-to-the-wall studies on x and then after throwing the discipline into an uproar either a) dropped off the face of the earth and is now known as smth of an urban legend/cryptid in the community or b) still corresponds w experts in the field but now about the wildest shit and ppl kind of have to mythologize/not think too hard abt the dude who walks in ppl’s heads in order not to risk js breaking everything

so yusuf knows his shit and his initial assertion that 3 levels is impossible can be trusted to carry a lot of weight. which means the fact that he proceeded to do it more than secures his place in the cast of demonstrable prodigies

now, bc this is ostensibly a continuation of a post that’s loosely focused on charas’ moralities, let’s look at the 2 parts of the movie where we most directly confront yusuf’s: his dream den and hiding the sedation from the team. i’m going with the assumption that any legitimate/legal research and application of dreamshare has been discontinued.

come yell at me for over oversimplifying, but that makes the question of the dream den seem p straight-forward. yusuf faced giving up dreamshare research (or came onto the scene after it was already illegal, which could make for some rly interesting stories abt how he would’ve found out abt it) and couldn’t, so he had to find a way to continue on his own. and since it would be in rly bad faith to assume he doesn’t have the full consent of all his test subjects, that’s js that. (i’m not going to argue abt the difference b/w ethics and morals, and i’m laughably unqualified to discuss the ethics of human experimentation anyway so moving on)

hiding the fact that the team was sedated was a major plot point and is discussed w according frequency, so i’m sure most ppl have their own opinions abt what this says abt the parties involved. i’ll readily admit that my view is heavily colored by the fact that i js plain like yusuf. he’s a likeable guy. (i’ll try not to go off on a tangent, but i know that my reasons for disliking cobb are a little unfair; it’s more about narrative structure than any of his personal failings. the fact is i have a weakness for hypercompetence, and cobb is presented as someone who used to be the best, but is no longer reliable. he shows flashes of his old brilliance running the mr. charles gambit successfully and improvising capitalizing on the appearance of fisher’s browning projection on l2, but he’s desperate enough to be untrustworthy and further, he’s untrustworthy in a way that is eminently predictable by the audience. we know from the get-go that his shade is gonna sabotage something, and it’s hard not to blame him for that. we also know from the get-go that he’s desperate enough to drag other ppl into a fool’s mission, and that he’s hiding something dangerous from arthur, who by all appearances should be the person cobb can trust, and the person to whom it’s most important to know that kind of shit. i’m not gonna pretend i anticipated that big twist in the parking garage on l1, but it makes a ton of sense in retrospect and all this makes it easy to see why cobb is so widely mistrusted/disliked by the fandom. and i went off on a tangent, whoops.)

so picking back up at yusuf is a likeable guy--he seems p friendly and easy-going and i thoroughly enjoyed every scene of him on l1. i’m gonna say a lot of his moral considerations come in the form of deciding what is or isn’t his responsibility. mbe he avoided or suitably resolved the thorny ethical question of human experimentation in the same way i kind of did: by saying that the participants agreed to it on their own and leaving it there. this kind of reasoning is how he would’ve let cobb take responsibility for sedating and then informing the team. it’s also probably how he decided to cue the kick early on l1 and make it everyone else’s problem. which i do think was the right decision! it would be absurd to suggest that this highly intelligent man’s patterns of reasoning are always questionable. but i do see a pattern.

as for the advice he’d give ari, i think a lot of this relates back to my mention in the earlier post of whether or not she could let an institution/legislation dictate her ethics to her. i’ve since decided that it’s simpler to assume the institutions are all outside the law, though, so i’m not going to think abt that anymore unless directly prompted. one thing we do know abt ari, though, in contrast to my suppositions abt yusuf, is that she has a v strong sense of responsibility. she took it upon herself to manage cobb, and she took it upon herself to save the job, fisher, saito, and cobb when it looked like everything had been ruined. thinking abt it now, this makes for further interesting contrast w arthur, whose sense of responsibility seems to revolve around personal loyalty, eames, whose sense of responsibility is acutely pragmatic, and saito, whose sense of responsibility is on the grand scale of stopping a monopoly (suitably ironic).

again, idk if i’ve rly made any kind of point, and now i want to go back and build elaborate hierarchies of skill in each job description (architect, extractor, etc) like i kind of did for chemists but, well. if u made it this far bless u, i hope u have a wonderful day. vote

[thecrenellations]

Return of the Thief Notes, Part Two: The Book of Pheris, Volume 2, Chapters 1-5

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part One | Part Three | TaT)

Contents: Me losing my mind in multiple ways each chapter, helpful links, nighttime garden cousins, an Irene pun, notes from my second read, “mwt is just like going for it,” and “this is so fucked up and heartwarming.”

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Volume 2

Illustration

Book 2 bro

Now we’re caught up and changed forever by lots of things

What printer’s apprentice made this?

Elephants!

Chapter 1

175. me too, Costis, me too. I am so tired. (it’s hard to sleep when your brain and heart and everything are fizzing because you’re reading Return of the Thief for the first time and a new Queen’s Thief book for the last time) 

176. Klimun + Gerosthenes vibes [moon doodle]

Holes in documents. That’s cute

Gen!!! <3

Wtf Ansel was hoodwinked!

177. The Queen waited

They’re ridiculous

Hi Pheris

Wtf he stole her earrings for Melheret?!?

178. Excuse me??? What is this book (sleeveless leather tunic)

He still roams!!!

Tattoos!

179. a sentence I never fucking expected to read ever “The absence of tattoos…”

180. that’s interesting

Stacked like kindling wow oh dear

181. She wants him to move in lol

Lol sorry Ion

Did she just want them to leave the room?

182. I can’t with this… I can’t. Why is sex symbol Relius canon. (the play that featured him! It’s great, it’s great, it was just a lot to take in!)

Silver crown?

183. Cleon! Rude!

Did they call Costis to deck him?

Queen scene!! <3

184. This is an epic. Abt Costis. Dirty stranger

185. he’s “the high king”

Lol

187. prophet (Pheris sure makes Costis sound like one)

Shut up Piloxides

188. resources for war! (book launch foreshadowing part two! She talked a lot about this kind of thing as well, and recommended the book Alexander the Great and the Logistics of the Macedonian Army)

189. “we”

What were you gonna say (Gen almost says something to Costis part one)

193. RIP The Magus Archives … it was not to be. Yet.

194. Melenze’s doorstep. Why? Bc Melenze is Ferria’s dog. (idk dude that line from ACoK has just never left me)

195. This is … a big war

196. Oh gen

Nighttime garden cousins.

Chapter 2

197. wtf did Relius think of that play

Also … not a peep from the sacred mountain huh

198. wtf will happen with Cleon

with Erondites

with THE MOUNTAIN

a lot going on

everyone was in that room but Kamet! So close!

199. Cute Fordad + Gen friendship (I never said these notes would make me look smart)

Same 2 T + R! :) It’s not them is it? (I NEVER SAID THESE NOTES WOULD MAKE ME LOOK SMART)

Poor Teleus

200. gdi Gen

Excuse me? Is he worried for Pheris??? (taking his tablet)

They trust each other! C’mon!

Sure he has reasons

202. oh dear. :( that’s … the worst cover story

Also falling

203. wow almost like a story huh

Ula’s altar :(

Why haven’t we had a Gen and Costis scene IN THREE BOOKS

205. I just … I don’t know if he’s just miserable or if it’s all a plan. I feel like I should know it’s all a plan. But he really feels like he has far to go. He’s just a mess and the same and so different. (having a small Gen meltdown)

205. he did give him the gun

Odd that he missed Quedue

206. he’s gonna bite them (buckle up! it’s abdication time!)

207. Power. Power. Power. Power.

Thx 4 the editorializing Pheris

208. Gen is making choices. That’s a choice.

209. There’s KoA down the drain

Aaaand he’s Eugenides

“Eugenides stared into the future”

The page of like 3 different tumblr posts: Trophy husband, Library, No! yes!

210. make sure he doesn’t leave lol

211. Pheris :(

Also fucked up timing for Irene

I love them

212. again with the birthday book

He’s still the king in the narration

Go on the roof! So close!

213. EUGENIDES IS ALWAYS APPROPRIATE my motto

Viper! Bastard!

Oh shit. I love them.

214. “our treaty” “our queen”

AAAH! Wedding night!

Asked her to leave!

Smash Erondites and peace out, literally

215. a frank talk

HE SAID IT.

216. The Bructs?

Wait is this his grandfather (taking a moment to remember all about Susa)

Also that’s Costis territory

217. who is this lion

218. #3 to Gen.

219. hmmm ring

There’s been a lot to unpack wow.

Did this happen, Pheris? Pheris?! 

220. Atté atté!

(Dear reader: for some strange reason, I completely forgot about taking notes on the final pages of this chapter. These notes are from when I reread those pages a few minutes later.)

Erondites full cup to brimming

The Pherises…

We must think of others before ourselves … occasionally

I do not like Orutus

Don’t fence Costis in! Does this count as prison? No (I had a square on my bingo board for “someone ends up in prison” ... but it turned out to be for someone else)

221. damn Costis

Aaah

Costis …

Irene… your jokes (I mean, it’s a joke, but also it is very real for her.)

SHE SAID IT!

My heart

222. where is Relius going?

SPYING

What you see and what you think it means (I love these instructions/this quote so much)

So are Susa + Erondites 2gether or what (listen ... proximity generates meaning in these books)

Also, like

What can

I say

WHAT CAN I SAY (Hell yeah! Never more glad to be wrong about the magus)

[page long list of doubles and parallels - from Cleons and Pherises and Ions to god-character and character-character connections]

Also the fact that in KoA and TaT Relius was like … oh … no … I just live a gentle life being friends with my king and queen and being scholarly. But no. He’s SPYING and TRAVELING MYSTERIOUSLY and has MANY LOVERS and also has been WITH TELEUS ALL ALONG and there is a PLAY written about him and he has a ~messenger~ network and PLAYS THE FLUTE and DOESN’T MAKE HIS BED and DISLIKES MATH and oh and he’s VERY HANDSOME! (Yes I was losing it, I hope my note from after the poem helps show some of the feelings behind this rant.)

Fucking … Wine shop. Should have known.

Chapter 3

224. ominous

Hello magus!

Sophos … babe (his impatience!)

225. Magus … cool your socks that’s your bff (he’s just describing Helen’s dead body! Fun!!!!)

In the van

That was good I love them

Why is it Couples Hour?

226. finally we’re out of the capital of Attolia

Ok they’re so cute

She was NEVER Helen in ACoK narration! 

Also – Pheris. This is all Pheris. (Pheris plus information others told him!)

227. Bringing each other up to date – that’s their thing. Talking forever

All this talk of shooting Therespides

228. EX FUCKING SCUSE ME (time to learn a lot about the country of Eddis)

He was 15! (or almost 15)

He didn’t know! Or did he!

The MoW!

All thru Pheris

Fuck you magus

When did he know

229. EXCUSE ME

The emeralds?

Assumed the worst?

That classic quote about little to do with winter but with “seducing other people’s lovers”

230. yeah Sophos that’s a lost cause (“spare me my blushes”)

Also she didn’t answer you

What are they laughing about (the generally nameless men we’re learning many things about this chapter)

233. Gen I think it’s fair to say that was a mistake

234. wtf Gen

GEN! he just. Had those. (the jewels!)

Her crown

I cannot

235. Gen!

237. Crash

Her CHANGES

238. THESE TWO

239. called annux

Yeah it’s like … a family meeting (the war council)

Bring your father to work day

241. Oh no.

Stenides! Boagus!!!!!!!

EDDIS!

Wolves! Lol

mwt is just like going for it

243. aww

Eddis > Boagus > Gen

244. Yeah I’m with her on this. (“if that doesn’t frighten you, it should”)

Chapter 4

245. Gen and Magus scene yes!

Two people affected by his long hair (Gen and the magus? I think?)

Pheris are you there?

Gen … you used to wish yourself out of existence

Wow

Hair vanity

Yeah also battlefield

Ion is a darling tbh

248. Is he. Is he going to fight all of them

Also they are all his cousins huh

AULUS! I liked you!

Same, Hilarion

Taking a page out of Costis’s book?

You have definitely seen it before. (I mistook his lie for truth!)

Will Costis hear about this? (please)

249. #4 to Gen!

Pheris where are you

Why doesn’t the Continent want to conquer them (do I get partial credit for this)

A tattoo!

250. “Do not offend the gods”

Honestly … too bad Helen DIDN’T do this

251. he said he’d give all he had

I’m sure there are rules

253. Just men? :( (let everybody fight him!)

Ornon is back! I mean, of course he is

Also yea they practice

HELLO ORNON

A house being built … or one knocked down. Nice

Is Teleus in on this?

254. Pheris called him my king!

255. I wanna know which guards though

:( he’d been faking

Kicked him in the head (ouch)

256. “when he fell”

I … don’t like this

He never gives up. The thieves don’t have limits. They have flash points.

Stepped on his hand

“Enough Gen” – what Irene said?

257. :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

The magus. I forgot he was there.

The magus said … nevermind …

The magus is probs very into this as a cultural thing. Also he was talking to the MoW

Pigeon. The sky. :( Like in TT (OH BOY, THE SKYYYY)

If there was a god, Pheris would see…

258. They’ve, they’ve been through a lot.

Oh god what’s next

259. I … no. not in his arms to the palace.

The palace where….

The stairs…

They are all 3 lookers. Basilisks and brass and lead

I hate this. But I love this.

I will someday see this differently.

Ah yes… the grunt. Approval.

260. Honestly, this is so fucked up and heartwarming. These books.

Lol don’t defend Hilarion, we know him

Eddis visits him.

Attolia watches him.

261.WTF Gen. I knew it. Why.

Crying or laughing? Crying? :(

How does this not undermine her now that he is her king?

But … what he wouldn’t do for her.

262. “he did fine”

This book is like… Reasons Gen Says Sorry

So, so… - Helen

GEN!

263. I am right. I am always right. It’s a curse.

Helen :( :( :(

The amount of times these people have seen him beaten.

He’s like … self destructive, but in a way that gives himself more power. Which he hates.

Gen, let them in. Let them in.

Chapter 5

264. honeycomb

OH NO. is it happening?

266. I’m just supposed to accept this?!! What does it mean?!

267. … a my king moment … important

But like … now can he fight?

Caryatid? [doodle after I looked it up]

268. Teleus!

C’mon Teleus. Everyone you love or respect loves him!

Honestly Pheris and Teleus … not a duo I expected

THESE TWO ARE SO DEDICATED TO TELLING HIM THAT! Ok I should chill. At least he said “may.” These are like … Pheris’s life lessons.

Honestly… I love that Teleus likes poetry, or at least likes it for Relius.

269. Lol Legarus. It’s been years! I mean, I guess that was a big deal for him… (almost being executed is a big deal for most people.)

Does he not love Gen because of Relius? Because Gen manipulated him? Because he keeps sending away his successor? Why on earth not! Hop on that train! (...)

It’s interesting that their relationship is the one that touches Pheris, not Gen and Irene. Hm.

Also … “Idiot.” The parallels.

“relatively gently” (it’s so good)

~Teleus here to talk about love~

This book is full of surprises.

270. That is NOT the bright side, Gen (“I could use my newfound authority to insist on going into battle”)

271. BUNNY! Wtf is a wineglass warrior

Very cute everyone, good job.

Still sad about Helen’s tears.

271. Gen. Don’t say these things. [volcano doodle]

272. SEE I was worried about this! The doubt!

I am not ok

This is TOO MANY Eddisian Revelations (Lader time)

Yeah. Wow.

273. Cleon x5

I … his grandfather

No.

Baby Helen begging

How did Pheris get this scene

Gen chose Cleon for his plan

275. IRENE WITH THE STATS!

276. lol Gen

My brother Sounis!

277. Missing Relius club.

Where is he though

Yes! Sophos Gen food fight!

Grapes!

“Wisdom”

He’s “the king” here and in KoA bc that’s the story but also that’s who he is to Pheris and Costis

278. So how did that Irene and MoW meeting go anyway?

How does Aulus know???

Thief short story! Probably terrible to reread, oh no

279. Are … are Aulus and Boagus together???! (“his slightly smaller partner”)

This feels … potentially traumatic … but fun? Idk

Fleece

280. This dang book. No rules!

The chandelier! So dramatic!

Mwt had … a lot to put into this one. A lot. A lot.

283. “not the Thief he was chasing”

284. The queens! The salute!

He can’t give this up.

Official Worries:

100,000 soldiers heading towards Kamet

Re: Lyopidus, Gen called Sophos his brother. Helen apparently might BE his sister. Temenus and Stenides are also going to a war where 9/10 will probably die.

Also

the MoW could have been a king if he’d stolen Helen’s throne. A lot there.

why does this book have the vibe of the library post, my comic from 2010, the king and queen interactions here, and the military tactics dream

[stutterfly]

Ok so...

I have things to say - Good things! - About Love Bytes

I debated just reblogging and throwing my thoughts into the mess that are my tags but somehow this feels more appropriate, so forgive me for loading this off in your inbox.

First of all your writing is amazing and I love it and clearly I need to dive deeper into your masterlist later today, but I love the way you describe things and especially how you manage to give the reader/character so much depth without actually attributing any description. I often struggle with the y/n reader insert concept because I so enjoy getting lost in the fantasy world someone is creating, including the original characters that come with it, but you really pulled it off.

Second, and maybe most importantly and why I'm writing your right now is how soft I am for your Namjoon. Like... I usually am if you couldn't tell by my posts but this one is amazing, even putting aside the association with BTS-Namjoon. He's kind and sweet and caring and probably a little dumb and clumsy both physically and emotionally but that's ok and just emphasizes the sweetness. But most importantly, he is eternally respectful and knows how CONSENT AND CONDOMS work. Thank you for that!

I often get agitated by how these things play out, especially the contraception part, and I loved that not only did he 'agree' to using a condom but he actually brought it up and insisted when he caught a hint of non-consent. I know glossing over that part is so much easier to write because it can very easily break the moment (both in writing and real life I guess) but your dialogue with it was really cute and it still flowed well and so much more realistically to me.

We need more of this even just to advocate and make this *normal* and something everyone can feel is what they should be able to expect from a partner, so thank you. Again. I've been on the receiving end of a different reaction and even knowing you are fully within your rights it still sucks so bad in the moment and I hope this can be a little reassurance to anyone that this is the way things should be and empower them to speak up for themselves.

Lastly, maybe on a lighter note, I absolutely loved your IT references littered all over the story. They never failed to make me smile, always fitting but never too complicated for people with no IT background to grasp (I hope), and providing so much character to your... Well, character. Maybe I'm a little biased because of my own professional background, but I genuinely really enjoyed them.

Uh... Yeah. That was a lot of word vomit, I apologize. I just wanted to somehow articulate that I really really enjoyed reading it ❤️

OH WOW THANK YOU KDHFKJSDHFJKHK I kept rereading your ask because it was so delightful and it mad me feel really good :) I used to struggle writing Y/N centered fics honestly, 2nd person centered writing is definitely a switch in the brain I needed to get used to, so reading that you were able to immerse yourself in the world is so amazing to me I could cry! 😭

The condom part was important for me bc like I’ve been there. Like do I want him to nut like a billion different ways after fucking her raw? HELLL YEAH BJHGJHDKSHF 🤪🤪 But I controlled my thirst because Love Bytes wasn’t straight up porn all the time lmao, it was about the natural evolution of their friendship to relationship and about the softness and weirdness that comes with embracing that kind of affection. And I get stuck on details for days sometimes.

I was like heavy in thought about it like I bet he’s been agonizing over buying a tiny box of condoms for weeks. Because they’ve almost had things happen so he’s like well maybe I should get it in case because we could end up crossing a line and if we do, I should be prepared. But also, he’s soft AF and he’s pined for so long that he’s like okay don’t get crazy just bc you want it doesn’t mean she does. And he just keeps talking himself in and out of buying anything: picking up the box, bringing it to a self-checkout station, and then panicking and going to put it back because there’s no way he’ll need it. Thinking ‘oh fuck what if I’m unprepared and I miss my chance’, and ‘like that will ever happen’, ‘but WHAT IF.’ I’m sure someone was watching him do that like ‘wow is that guy ok. just buy it bro.’ I feel bad for giving them both anxiety spirals, but at least they can bond over it and have each others’ backs! 🥰

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been on the other spectrum of that conversation. I’ve also been pressured in situations to forgo protection, and I know how shitty a feeling it is for someone to tell you how you must not trust or love them bc you wanna use protection. But. That’s BS! It’s really important to reinforce the view that using protection isn’t a bad thing. It’s super normal. Some people prefer always using a condom and there’s no shame in that! Some people like to build up a relationship before not using a condom for the first time too, and that’s how I see Y/N and Joon’s relationship. It comes with trust, time, and consent on both sides. In their case, things are so new. Like both of them knowing that birth control can never be 100% effective and going down the anxiety hole of “wow what if this sucks. what if this doesn’t work out. what if things are weird after this.” It totally makes sense for them! The IT references will be continued throughout the different stories!

ANYWAY NO APOLOGIES I LOVe YOUR WORD VOMIT I ANSWERED WITH  EQUAL WORD VOMIT 💜

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Debuff Zane Build

i am tired of not seeing this build in all the zane build videos i watch so im sharing it here because its stupid fun bc u run fast and kill faster. it’s not meta, but its fun as fuck and u have a lot of damage and survivability with it. I’ve completed M4 Slaughter Shaft with it- haven’t tried on M10 yet but i have faith. p.s its 4 am pls have mercy if there’s spelling mistakes.

what ur gonna need is a band of sitorak, zheitseiv’s eruption, a seein’ dead, and the piss grenade. everything else is fair game, whatever u want. try to get it to have the sntl cryo anoint bc good. but u must have the 4 main items for this to work perfectly (it also somewhat works with a low level Frozen Heart bc best shield in the game but you will die a lot more)

also i need a fucking name for this build help

oh god oh fuck i forgot i was playing through the handsome jackpot dlc again

oki im ready to party

this is my current loadout

sometimes i switch the reg Q-System for a kaoson or a nighthawkin if i need ammo (OP QSystem is... OP but not as fun as a tracking grenade QSystem so i don’t care for it) and maybe the brainstormer for a reflux if many shielded enemies (i prefer the brainstormer over the reflux atm. so try for a brainstormer!!)

3rd slot, that’s a monarch which used to be a dictator b4 it got a straight upgrade. I actually don’t use the bipod unless im in a boss fight and don’t need to move fast. usually violent momentum and violent violence cover the dps loss

ur first 3 gun slots honestly don’t matter much. I have my reasons for using them, but you can use whatever u want i think, so long as its a strong weapon (bc unfortunately a lot of weapons are not scaled for m10). u dont HAVE to use the monarch or the Q system or the brainstormer. I recommend them, cuz theyre fun, but u don’t gotta if u wanna swap em out for a a kaoson or a yellowcake or a sandhawk or smth

the last gun is my zheitsev’s eruption. This bad boy, when u reload, shoots out homing balls of debuffery. So every enemy that gets hit with these gets a debuff. I have tried this with the needler but I prefer Zheitsev’s bc it can hit more enemies and once and takes less time. this gun only goes to Blane (ur clone). 

for the skill trees we have no points in under cover even tho brainfreeze is the best skill in the gaaaaame

explanations: 

really the hitman tree is p self explanatory, u wanna go fast as fuck boiii. My band of sitorak does not have the +15 movespeed while zoomer is active anoint (it has the break shield amp anoint, which is p okay. want movespeed, but a nice human from the reddit gave me this sitorak so i didn’t have to farm). u want drone delivery bc Blane will NOT be throwing grenades. If you try to make him throw grenades with the seein’ dead he will ONLY throw grenades and never fire his gun, meaning he’ll never reload. it’s a nightmare. anyway. u want the piss grenade (ideally with the +25% damage on thrown anoint). im not looking forward to regrinding this when they finally mayhem buff grenades.

we put one point into playing dirty because we want those extra shots and honestly with the amount of times seein’ dead can proc ur kill skills you’ll have it more often than not

we also have points in good misfortune for that sweet sweet uptime (which btw can be infinite using the brainstormer/reflux bc it is essentially a redistributor without the need for ur barrier) the monarch/dictator also does it justice

for Blane u DON’T WANT praemuntis. we want blane reloading as often as gotdamn possible. now unfortunately my seein’ dead gave me a +weapon mag size roll (im actually not sure if this affects blane, but im assuming it does) but it does have the amazing +5 donnybrook so I’m taking it anyway. I am so not looking forward to regrinding a good class mod when they finally release action skill buffs for them. i cri. i actually hear 3 points in donnybrook and 2 in violent violence is p good (or 1 in violent violence 1 in playin dirty) so maybe grinding won’t be so bad. maybe i’ll finally get a +weapon damage roll

u can grab 1 point in ducttape mod and put 4 points into borrowed time if you want. it doesn’t really matter. i current have 5 in borrowed time and 3 in pocket full of grenades (for some reason??? usually i only put 2 in.). U can do that and use those extra points for either ducttape mod or more points in playing dirty. 

u NEED quick breather. This skill has a STUPID interaction with the band of sitorak shield because of how quickly it recharges. I’m talking, the instant you swap with Blane, you have full shields and so does he. It’s dumb, I love it. Use it to get out of trouble.

so im probably gonna need to explain why i have 3 points in trick of the light: im a cryo slut. That’s it. put those wherever you want, just make sure you can get Double Barrel. i’ve seen builds where people actually go for brainfreeze, i might try that next time i respec.

Double barrel will make it so blane can use the zheitsev’s eruption and debuff your enemies for you. it’s worth it.

so the augments u want are these:

SCHADENFREUDE. because band of sitorak has such a tiny capacity, ur shield is constantly up. If its not, it’s constantly breaking from full capacity. this does have a fun effect with the amp shield break anoint, but mainly i like it for the 25% damage buff whenever it breaks. its a tradeoff for damage, ur constantly swapping between max shields and more damage, so its actually p constant survivability and damage over the long run.

i grab doppelbanger bc blane sometimes gets stuck in the floor and/or i don’t feel like running all the way back. i wouldn’t recommend getting which one’s real or digital distribution only bc u want him alive as much as possible. u can also get binary system instead of doppelbanger, its up to you

for Zoomer u want bad dose for the movement speed and (sometimes) static field (only if the enemies have shields). this is so if blane goes down or he isn’t taking damage, zoomer can refill ur shields. if the enemies won’t have shields usually i grab winter’s drone or boomsday depending on how i feel.

im actually gonna try to see if i can’t grab brain freeze. hang on. i know trick of the light is frowned upon for most people so lemme just respec. (im sorry i just love the vibes it gives me it’s like HAHA you thought that was me? no!!! boop. and then they’re ice sculptures and man i love h2o i wish emma had frozen more people the only people she really freezes are Greg and Miriam and honestly she doesn’t even kill Greg smh. (Greg is dr denman’s assistant. greg is highkey god.) I do like what she did to Mirami, the fucking implications that YES these teenage girls ARE powerful enough to instakill people, they just don’t out of the kindness of their hearts. Rikki was badass that episode too. actually i love the episode where rikki almost boils a dude alive for making a fool of her with ILLEGAL F I S H and burns people using steam from a pipe. rikki is my favorite mermaid- she knew what was u p. I wish mako mermaids was as badass as h2o was. and the cartoon. god imagine the cartoon violence. sigh. let them use their op superpowers to be SUPERHEROES. like in h2o au i have baron flynt puppeteer people to their deaths from Thor bc he has cleo’s powers like why couldn’t she do that to someone. Like dr denman “lmao bye bitch” or even charlotte (who imho wasn’t bad until cleo started being rude to her. cleo was 100% at fault that season). it wouldn’t have killed her!!! ... instantly. probably. ive never seen avatar in full but i did watch the blood bending episode as a child and as i understand it that’s frowned upon but hey. CAN BELLA TURN PEOPLE INTO JELLY?? harry potter 🅱oneless arms... my god.)

anyway, respeccing. 

there goes all my money. rip.

so i think im gonna have to live with the slower reload speed (sob) but yes u can in fact get brain freeze with this build. lemme show...

so ye in the event u just can’t live without freezing people (i know the feeling) feel free to do this. imma play with this for a bit and see if i can live with slower reload. I actually depend on the 100% cryo with zoomer active for all my cryo damage. i also use an ice breaker so they freeze fairly easy (but only on mobs. on bosses u want the snowdrift or something else)

this build isn’t really meta and u might have trouble doing a solo run of true takedown on m10... bc its true takedown on m10, but honestly it’s fun as F U C K. you CAN do it, but it’s not no thoughts head empty like barrier-redistrubutor/yellowcake zane can be so u gotta be on TOP of ur SHIT. i love it. running around killing stuff. it’s fun. i also love teleporting. it’s my FAVORITE THING. I STILL GET GIDDY OVER IT BECAUSE IT’S SO FUN. ask my friends, they will tell you, sometimes i’ll just start gushing over how much fun it is to teleport even though i’ve played zane since release. just. GFDGHKJGDFK so much fun. i just... b o o p. god i love this game. i took a break to play assassin’s creed odyssey (fun sneaky beaky game, pretty awful dialogue) so DAMN i missed this. 

here’s a link to a video I took on athenas (my favorite area to run. it’s this game’s bloodshot stronghold!) this is the playlist i listen to while playing Zane. i keep swapping songs during play bc sometimes they don’t fit my vibe or i get tired of them lol (spotify control is hooked to my 4th and 5th mouse buttons so i don’t have to stop playing) i forgot where my shock sandhawk was in my inventory, is what i use to demolish traunt. i was so scared i threw it in my bank earlier on sanc-iii lol (also yes i still slap blane’s ass. it’s to encourage him to kill)

and here’s a link to the save + everything I had on me at the moment (including the stuff i picked up in the vid in case u want it lol) cuz im lazy and don’t feel like clearing out my inventory. some of these are only m4-9. which ones? it is a mystery. you’ll know when the new update releases ;) (no but actually im so hype for mayhem level on the item cards. finally. FINALLY!!!)

why is this video taking so long to upload. hynnnggggg

oh god is that the sun

[welcometotheocverse]

🌟 for Elliot pls?

:D aaaah! I’ve had him in the brain a lot lately okay sorry this got long And also im rewatching rn so its sorta season 1ish.

Elliot is Rory’s younger twin. He was given Christopher’s middle name. He’s mostly grateful it was the middle name.

He and Rory are super close. It was just the two of them ( and then Lane) The Twins That Read A Lot. Because they had each other they didn’t have much incentive to make friends outside of each other ( Elliot more than Rory) and extrapolating from the Pilot where Rory doesn’t seem like she has a lot of friends ( or any sans Lane) and is lowkey scoffed at for reading the assignment I’m gonna go with “other kids weren’t that keen on making friends with them either”

Rory’s the talkative one, he’s the quiet one. This is a bit of Rory also being protective of him/noticing when he looks overwhelmed and just...talking up a storm as is her wont and subtly getting attention away from Elliot. For a lot of the early season they’re not seen one without the other ( keeping in mind their arch is to learn it’s okay to have different dreams and even go different places ) 

Sorta shy and a bit more introverted than Rory. Once you become his friend however he pretty much would die for you and his face absolutely lights up when he sees you as opposed to his usual reserved nature and he talks to you albeit not as much as his twin ( unless hes super excited or talking about something he finds interesting then the resemblance kicks in lmao but thats the exception)  its like a switch ( seen with Rory, Luke, and Lane in canon and Sophie/Paige in their xover)

Likes hanging out at Luke’s. They both sorta enjoy... being quiet around each other. Elliot thinks he has a really calming vibe …when Taylor’s not there.

Ms Kim doesn’t like him because he’s a boy so he’s not allowed at Lane’s like Rory is ( honestly the feeling’s mutual bc “I’m pretty  sure locking you up for days and keeping you from school falls under child abuse also wtf” and lowkey the girls are like “lets just keep you not in the house” Lane might be closer to Rory but they still talk music together. She’s part of the reason his music taste actually started deviating  from  Lorelai’s and Rory’s.)

He doesn’t like unfair treatment of other people. It really gets to him. Examples are Ms. Kim to Lane and his grandparents and father to his mom. Later examples are Mitchum Huntzberger, and Marty. ( he’s pretty unimpressed with Marty and how his feelings for Rory make him act in general tbh but what he does with Lucy is just...it really bothers him he’s adamant that  Rory should tell Lucy the truth.)

Highkey  he has about zero patience for bad/toxic parents partly bc of his own feelings about Christopher and to an extent his grandparents that he keeps minimizing so they get projected on...everyone else with bad parents lol.

 Logan’s still a bit amazed that this shy soft spoken kid he met in his junior year went off like “He’s not your fucking property” when Mitchum went on his “You’re available when i say you’re available” tirade ( Elliot was ngl intimidated/scared of Mitchum who pretty much went “Who the hell are you??!” but Logan’s his friend and that wasn’t okay and he kept eye contact with the asshole until Logan diverted his attention back to him/the fight they were having and made sure he at least told Logan afterwards because “but he shouldn’t..” and “he shouldn’t have” and “No! No..it’s not Okay. “)

But also like constantly “it’s not a big deal” when it comes to his aforementioned feelings about Christopher and pretty much anything he might be angry about. 

Lowkey spends a lot of time Rory goes through relationship drama between “????” and “wowww dodged a bullet” Rory throws pillows at him for the latter because “If I’m gonna rant at you El, you could at least give me sympathy.”

He does have some insecurities about his orientation born out of just..f.eeling othered due to isolation and also some stuff he’s heard his dad say.

He figures out he’s asexual before he figures out he’s aromantic and has to deal with a lot of “Are you sure?” and “is that..is that normal?” from some townsfolks before he figures out Luke can scare them off and he lowkey spends a lot of time at the dinner during this time. Luke smiles at him and gives him muffins tho he’ll deny deny deny if you mention it.

A bit more sensitive than Rory like on the pilot episode when he notices Lorelai is worried about Chilton/having to ask her parents for money he stops at the base of the stairs and asks “is...everything okay mom?” and is kinda just in tune with how the people he cares about are feeling/picks up on things like that.

He...doesn’t super like his grandparents because of how they treat his mother.  Emily already made him a bit anxious because of her passive  aggressive nature ( he’s giving me some anxiety vibes tbh) and the fact that he thought the fact that his mom kept them away sorta ominous.  A lot of season 1 is him looking down at his plate and tensing with every “your mother’s golf clubs are in the attic along with the rest of her potential” and Richard’s “he ( Christopher) always was a smart one that  boy, you two must take after  him” and “as a maid with all your brains and talents” and it sorta...yeah he spends a lot of time looking at his plate and swallowing resentment. There are times where it gets better but overall he’s never completely at ease around them. He’s very quiet but civil around them even as he grows some affection and builds bridges with them along Lorelai and Rory. And I haven’t even figured out the fallout with the thing they pull at the wedding.

Emily at least once asked off handedly why Elliot wasn’t seeing anyone and I’m still figuring out if she says something like “that’s not normal” before Lorelai or Rory intervene.

(( Full disclosure Emily reminds me a bit too much of my own relationship with my mom and its really hard to write her favorably though I at least try to be fair. So Elliot is sometimes  a bit harsh on her and very in Lorelai’s corner when Emily and Richard are...less than nice. ))

Sort of a mamma’s boy. Rory and Lorelai have their special connection but so do Elliot and Lorelai. Rory was a bit more extroverted and would play/hang out with Lane while Elliot was perfectly content as a babie curling up with his mom and reading. It worried Lorelai a bit, how hard it was for him to reach out ( she never had that moment she had with Rory and Lane of “my kid has a friend” with him) but he always had Rory yknow so she calmed herself with that. Sometimes when Rory’s with Lane he’ll hang out at the Inn and work there. He somehow got in to Michel’s good graces ( “because you are quiet and unobtrusive”  and got him to teach him French 

Very tactile. When he’s getting nervous Rory will reach out and grab his hand or Lore will put her hands on his shoulder and he’ll calm down. He does the same when wanting to comfort friends or just wanting to show affection ( will lean on Finn and Colin a lot as he gets closer to them or accept that they’ll just throw an arm around him)

Meeting the LAD bridgade kids makes social events with his grandparents so much easier like ohmygod subparties with Logan Colin Finn and Rory  become lifesavers. ( its not so much the drinking as having someone you can laugh with while dodging your grandparents friends and the girl they told to look for you yknow)

He has more resentment towards Christopher than his sister and doesn’t see him with the rose colored glasses Rory sees him in their younger years. His absence hurts him a lot. He hides it well and is nice enough towards him because he loves Lorelai and Rory and wants them to be happy/have a good time but if you catch him on a bad day you might get a rant about how little Christopher knows about them and how little he was there  and “he just drops by, spends like a day with us and leaves yknow...it’s...and we’re supposed to be happy???” and the fact that he doesn’t wanna tell Rory or Lorelai bc he thinks it’ll upset them just  sorta...makes it worse.

And then at some point  Christopher pops off with “and how long are you gonna entertain this phase of his Lore, a boy his age should be dating” and while Rory’s making angry noises and Lorelai’s saying “Outside. Now” ( though they don’t know the twins are listening) he just gets...this thin unsurprised smile and...yeah it’s not great. 

Very supportive of people he loves. He’s constantly telling Rory through the Chilton years that she’s smart enough, more than smart enough to get through this and helps her study. He makes sure he tells Lorelai he loves her or hugs her if he can tell the dinners are a bit hard on her. Honestly a total cream puff. The resentment for his grandparents and father is mostly buried and comes out like when he’s upset/they do something that provokes it. Mostly he’s a really soft boy and kinda soft spoken, loves reading about science and space ( he balances out Rory’s preference for literature and history though they both like poetry and Elliot occasionally reads prose as Rory lets him infodump sometimes about science journals) and loves his friends so so dearly. Will get angry a la Beware The Nice Ones if you hurt them though the first thing he’ll do is comfort them/try to cheer them up.

He loves Stars Hollow but being the only aroace person he knows of there ( and fielding well intentioned “are you sures?” and “oh honey you’ll find someone someday”s and just..alot of early 2000s Star Hollow-ness ( “Hey kiddo you gonna bid on a basket this year?” “oh you’re getting handsome, gonna find yourself a girl for the starlight festival?” “is he..youknow?” is just...a lot? He wants to spread his wings and find his place/people like him/feel less isolated.

He still loves his town though as its his home and raised him his sister and in a way his mother. He visits while he’s at Yale ( the distance helps tremendously as does the ability to just...leave again) like Rory and says hi to Miss Patty and Gypsy and Andrew ( he loves Andrew omg. One of the few people who didn’t just assume he and Rory were always reading the same books) He helps the 30-Something gang find jobs/fine tune resumes  though im not including anything else form ayit and checks in how they’re doing bc..its still his town. They’re his family. “my nuts-o, extended...well meaning but sometimes overly invested and too-pushy-and-slightly-overbearing family.” even as he dreams of getting out a lot and once he does he...really likes it. He loves them

He goes to Yale because Rory goes to Yale (because again the whole Learning To Be Independent From Your Twin...kind of a slow process for him) and gets sibling-adopted by Finn and Colin  in a turn of events he’s pretty much confused over like im p sure they were like “hes ours now” and Elliot was like “im ...you’re...w..what?” and Logan who Knows Finn and Colin is like “don’t fight it” and lowkey adopted him too.

Im cutting myself off bc this got Long and im sorry lol

Thank you so much for the ask <3

send me a ✨ and i’ll tell you about a random OC

[minlucent]

block party (m) ⎪ 02

➾ pairing: reader x jeon jungkook

➾ word count: 4.5k

➾ genre: fuck boy next door au, enemies to lovers au, smut, pwp but what’s new tbh lol

➾ warnings: explicit sex, dirty talk, dom!jungkook, degradation, fingering, humiliation, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, thigh riding, panty sniffing, choking, breathplay, teasing, edging, im probably missing a lot more bc uh it’s really dirty

➾ summary: one mistake turns into two.

➾ a/n: SIKE! aye so i lied, block party isn’t on hiatus! btw sorry for not posting for months oops // happy valentines day bitches. heres my gift to you

➾ series:⎪01⎪02⎪

You still didn’t have a bed, so you had set up a cozy little blanket fort as a makeshift one for the past several days. However, often you found yourself not able to sleep at night due to the disgusting noises next door. Coincidentally, your bedroom was separated by only a thin wall from Jungkook’s room, and with no soundproofing, you had to hear many girls obnoxiously wail next door. Every. Fucking. Night. 

Oddly enough, he himself wasn’t as loud in bed as he had been with you; there was no dirty talk, no grunting, no deep groans. All you could hear was whoever his date was for the night moan at incredible decibels. You had expected him to use the same lines he used on me with all of his girl toys.

Yes, all. It seems as though every night is a new girl. A faceless stampede of women go in and out of your apartment complex and you have to see their faces every morning when you head out to a class. You weren’t disgusted at the girls, in fact, you applauded them for being able to get a good fuck in the middle of the school week; as a woman supporting women, you felt no need to compete with them.

Rather, you were revolted by Jungkook, as he treated each and every one of them as a toy that he plays with: it was a game to him get them in bed then never see her again. You weren’t sure if the women expected more than a one night stand, but it just bothered you that Jungkook didn’t even treat them like people; he was the opposite of a gentleman. A “rough man.” Or a “rude man.” Just an overall jerk.

You knew that if you had to hear one more night of him fucking the brains out of a girl, you would pull out all of your hair. So, you decided to go out.  Even though you didn’t know the girl who was hosting that well, you still decided to go to her party because her group of friends overlaps with yours. You didn’t really know the dress code for the club you were going to but you didn’t care; you put on a simple, pretty black dress, which was short but long enough to leave some to the imagination, high black pumps and some pretty red lingerie. To top of the sultry look you were going for, you painted on a deep, blood red liquid lip.  As you looked in your bathroom mirror, blotting your lips with a tissue, you decide to make things a little risky tonight just for giggles.  

After all, you were sure that you wouldn’t offend her because she probably didn’t expect you to be by her side the whole night; you two barely knew each other, and honestly, as grown a woman, you were sure she’d be happy for you to get some. She was a sweet girl. So, to spice up the night, you decided to forego the bra; even though you probably should’ve worn one, you thought you looked a hell of a lot hotter without one.  

When you walked in, the first person you saw was an old classmate of yours, but you decided not to interrupt his conversation and instead made a beeline towards the bar. You were sipping on a cocktail, staring the back of his head down, waiting for him to turn around because damn, he was looking so fucking gorgeous. You decided that if he didn’t turn around in a minute, you were marching over there and flirting your ass off because you were tired of being abstinent while hearing Jungkook get it every night. There was no way you were going to place yourself below Jungkook, both figuratively and literally.

You didn’t realize how on edge you were because you finished your drink before you knew it. Just as you were about to order another one, the bartender placed the same drink in a new cup right next to you. “The man over there paid for this drink,” he nodded towards a booth where you squinted to make out the face of the generous creep.

Are you fucking serious? That “creep” was manspreading in a booth, two girls on either arm, sending a quick wink at you as you made eye contact with him.  Fucking Jungkook. What a motherfucking pig. That fucker–

You were about to explode and say “fuck” a million more times and walk over there to tell him to leave you alone, but a tap on your shoulder stopped you. “Y/N?” You spun around, meeting the face of the man you were infatuated with just seconds ago.

“Taehyung! I was just about to walk over to talk to you!” you admitted.

“You should’ve come over earlier, I saw you when you walked in and, fuck… you are quite something,” he bit his lip as he looked at you up and down. Usually, you would be creeped out if someone said that, but coming from Taehyung, you blushed to the shade of your lipstick.

You guys hit it off immediately.  You were laughing it up with him, retelling your favorite memories from classes you shared together; you were pretty close to him before summer, but you just hadn’t seen him since.  You felt a pair of eyes on the back of your head, and you turned around, making eye contact with Jungkook. You could practically see the anger rolling off of him. He thought you were deliberately trying to make him jealous, but in reality, you were just horny for Taehyung. Who wouldn’t be?

Taehyung’s voice broke you out of your daze. “Really? I can’t believe we live in the same apartment complex. What a coincidence.”

“Oh yeah, haha, I know, I guess a bunch of broke college kids want to live there because it’s so affordable.” Your conversation was put to a halt when Taehyung excused himself to go to the restroom. You were alone for a moment until you saw Jungkook step up from his seat.

You laughed out loud when he stormed towards you, his jaw clenched in anger. He immediately snapped, hissing, “What do you think you’re laughing about?”

“I’m glad you finally left those poor girls alone,” you gave him a nice smile before spinning your stool away from him.

You almost got whiplash by how fast Jungkook spun you back around to face him. “Nah, I think they enjoyed my company. You should’ve seen how they kept sitting on my lap and shoving their tits in my face. It was amazing.” He leaned in, his hands on either side of your legs, trapping you in your seat.

“Sure sounds like it,” you try not to seem affected from his close proximity by grabbing your drink from the counter and taking a sip from it.

Suddenly, his anger is gone, and instead, he smirks down at you in amusement. “Is that jealousy I hear?”

“Seriously? Jealousy?” you laugh, “I have nothing to be jealous of.”

“Hm, if you say so,” his smile is mischievous as he grins at you, letting go of his grasp on your seat and standing back up. “So you don’t get jealous?”

“I’m not a fucking child, Jungkook.”

“So, you’re saying that you won’t mind if I go back to fuck to those girls?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I couldn’t care less.” With that, he just winked at you and made his way back to the crowd of women.

You watched as he got comfortable in the group, and almost immediately, a girl’s arm was around his neck. All of the women were over him, touching him, laughing with him. You felt nauseous at how he didn’t even give a shit at them; he was just putting on this show for you while they actually thought that he was interested in them.

Jungkook must have felt you staring at him, as he glanced at you with a smug smile and a cocked brow. You didn’t break eye contact; there was no way you were going to let him think that he had won. He winked at you, staring directly into your eyes as his hand slid down to the ass of a girl on his arm and give her a firm squeeze.

You shook your head and faced the other way, waiting patiently for Taehyung to return. You didn’t want to see Jungkook’s face for the rest of the night. Who does he think he is? Does he really think touching other women will get me to like him? Jesus, why were you thinking about that asshole when you were talking to a handsome man with an amazing personality, a man that isn’t a complete dick?

Taehyung was a nice guy. You could tell he wanted you physically, but he was a proper gentleman, so when he offered to walk you to your apartment, you graciously let him. After all, he lived in the same building as you, so you couldn’t feel bad about it. Although you were planning on getting laid tonight, you weren’t disappointed in the way the night ended with him. You got to know him a lot better as a person, and honestly, you would rather wait to fuck him to get more satisfaction out of it. Also, he was just nice to hang around with; sure, fucking him would be a plus, but it was no longer the main thing on your mind.

You giggled, a little tipsy, as you walked to your door with him. “I can’t believe you live on the same fucking floor too! What a small world.”

He chuckled as he backed you against your door. He thought you were absolutely adorable. “Luckily for you, you’ll be able to see me a lot from now on… ” Taehyung licked his lips, leaned down with his hands planted on your waist. You closed your eyes were waiting to feel his lips on yours, but you jumped when you heard a door slam open.

“YN! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Jungkook suddenly appeared in the hallway, pulling out from underneath Taehyung's height.

“Jungkook? You know Y/N?” Taehyung was surprised, but he didn’t seem to be too taken aback by the younger boy’s actions. “Are you guys…” he gestured between the two of you, “together?” You realized how bad it looked, with Jungkook’s arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

“No! Not at all! We’re just neighbors!” you burst out anxiously, wanting to not let Jungkook scare him away. You fought out of his tight grasp and hurried back to Taehyung’s side.

“No, no, I get it. You guys seem like you need to work out some shit. I’ll see you later Y/N. And Jungkook, it was nice seeing you, man!” you stood there with your jaw dropped as Taehyung retreated down the hallway calmly; all of that hard work tonight was ruined by a certain prick who lived next door. Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? In all honesty, you weren’t surprised that Taehyung backed off that easily; they were obviously friends and there was probably some bro-code thing going on.

You turned around to face Jungkook, fuming, “Thanks for the cockblock, asshole!” You weren’t planning on fucking Tae tonight, but you were worried that Jungkook messed up your plans with him in the future.

You try to shove him back, but his hands wrap around your wrists to stop you. “You’re one to talk! None of those girls would fuck me after seeing me with you!”

“That’s rich,” you called him out on his lie, “All of them were all over you. They probably didn’t even think twice about me. It’s not my fault that you want to fuck me so bad that you ditched all of them! Did you actually just leave the club and race to get here just because you saw me leave with Taehyung?”

“You think Tae cares about you? He’s just like me, we grew up together! He’s gonna fuck you and forget about you.” he raised his voice at you as he takes a step towards you, avoiding your question, but you got your answer anyway. 

You stood firm, “You know, you’re not making a very good case yourself. What the fuck do you want from me? Am I not allowed to make my own decisions? Who says that I want Taehyung for anything more than a fuck?”

He growls as he runs a hand through his hair. “You know what I want from you. And I know you know. So why are you acting like a little bitch? I saw the way you looked at me tonight; you want the same fucking thing I do, but I’m just trying to figure out why you won’t admit it.” He stared you down with furrowed brows, sneering, “Actually, I think I may have an idea. Was I too rough with you before? Could your little pussy not handle my fat cock? Is that why you’re afraid to fuck me now?” He now had the same cocky smile he had at the club, but this time he was bitter. You felt repulsed, and as much as you hate to admit it, a little excited at the same time. Why does a cocky personallity turn you on so much? Why are you already weak at the knees from his dirty words?

You flare your nostrils, fuming at his insult. “Trust me, your little dick is far from being the biggest thing that’s been in my vagina. Have you ever thought that maybe your dick wasn’t enough to make up for your shitty personality? That you weren’t able to satisfy me, so I just never came back for more?”

You saw his expression falter for a second. You wouldn’t let yourself feel bad for hurting his feelings because you were sure he would get over it. Anyone with that fragile of an ego needs to be put in their place.  He put his tongue in his cheek and sighed, “You know, I didn’t want to embarrass you like this, but I think I’m gonna have to.” He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his chest. “Tell me that you don’t want me. Tell me to stop.  If you don’t, I promise I won’t hurt your pride and talk about how right I was.”

You stood there in his arms for a moment, trying to resist his touch, but you knew you would give in. And so did he.  

You felt your legs hit the edge of his mattress and he is all over you, running his hands up and down your smooth thighs before pressing his lips to your throat. You feel his hand slowly moving over your dress to grope at your chest before reaching your throat. He taps his fingers against your pulse, clicking his tongue lightly.

“You’re such a pretty little thing, aren’t you? Are you going to let me have my way with you?” You nod desperately, wanting to feel him more.

You moan as you feel his grip tightening around your throat; you reach desperately for his wrist and fingers, grunting, “More. Choke me more.” Profanities drop from his lips as he stares hungrily down at you, grinning as he feels your throat begin to throb as he follows your wish.

You feel his other hand tracing your thighs, slowly climbing higher and higher. He flips the skirt of your dress up and stares at your wet core. “You’ve soaked yourself, haven’t you? Are you just that much of a whore for me?” He places the palm of his hand over your lace clad heat, pressing your panties roughly onto your wetness. He puts his index and middle fingers into your entrance over your panties, wanting to soak the lace as much as possible. You arched your back at the touch, moaning as he begins to play with you.

He laughs at how needy you are as his index finger taps against your swollen bud, twisting and turning it between his fingers. You let out a whimper and his eyes whip from your entrance straight to your lips, which he sinks his teeth onto. He is still playing with your clit as he releases his hold on your throat and moves his hand to your mouth. He slips his first two fingers between your lips and you suck on them graciously. You moan against them, following your cheeks and bobbing your head as if it was his cock instead.

“My little whore,” he leans into your neck and murmurs against your skin. He pulls his now-wet fingers from your lips and spreads the saliva across your cheek.  You feel him stopping his prodding at your entrance to pull your panties down your thighs. You kick them off your legs as you grab the back of Jungkook’s head to bring his lips to yours. “You just couldn’t resist me, could you? You tried to act like you didn’t need my cock, but here you are, soaking my sheets and writhing around in my bed.”

You bit your lip as you sit up, grabbing his arm to support yourself, “Shut up and put them in.”

“So needy...” he laughs. You feel his strong fingers circle around your entrance, poking around your vulva, but still denying their entry into your warmth. “I have you right where I want you; you’re gonna be screaming once I shove my fingers down your slutty cunt,” Jungkook growls as he thrusts two of his fingers inside you, curling up to reach for your g-spot. They slipped in so fucking easily, you barely felt the stretch because of how wet you were. This didn’t go unnoticed by him though, as he raised an eyebrow at you. “Hmm, your cunt is dripping, it’s the wettest one I’ve ever felt, sweetheart. You really are a little whore, aren’t you?”

“Hm, fuck,” you gasp out as he plunges his fingers in and out of your wet heat. Your eyes fall closed and you release your hold on him as you fall back into the pillows, enjoying the feeling of his long fingers inside of you. As he continues to fuck his fingers into you, you begin to feel the lack of oxygen in your head. You are gasping for air as he relentlessly abuses your little pussy, making it hard for you to catch your breath.

Once he sees your struggle, he releases his hold immediately and kisses the marks of his fingers away on your neck. Suddenly, you feel his fingers stop and you let out a whimper. “Please, Jungkook, don’t stop.”

He bites his lip as he looks down at your fucked out state, loving the sound of you begging. “Fuck yourself against my fingers, baby. Show me how much you want me.” Still hovering above you, he adjusts himself so that he settles between your legs, waiting for you to grind against his fingers. “Come on, sweetheart, be a good little slut for me.”

You nod aggressively, wanting to recreate the pleasure that you were feeling merely moments before. You arch your back, pressing your ass into the mattress, making his fingers exit your entrance, then raise your hips while lowering your back to get his fingers back inside of you, creating a seesaw-like motion. Each time his fingers bottom out inside of you, he curls them and rubs against the rough spot that has you twitching underneath him. You quickened your pace, going as fast as you could. You knew you could impress him if you were flipped over and had to fuck him on all fours or if you were simply on top of him, but instead, he trapped you in this position underneath him. You just imagined that you were fucking his cock and you rode his fingers as such.

You could feel Jungkook growing hard against your thigh, so you could tell he loved it as much as you. You heard him let out an occasional groan or grunt as you clench around his lean, long fingers; he loved the lewd sounds of your pussy squelching around him.

“Hmm, baby, you take my fingers so well. Your greedy little cunt just keeps sucking them in. You just can’t get enough can you, huh? My little cockslut is just so desperate to have anything inside of her,” he laughs as he pulls his fingers out, pulling them up so both of you can see the strings of wetness between his fingers as he stretches them apart. “I can’t wait for you to take my big, fat cock. Your sopping cunt is just begging for me;  I bet I’d barely be able to squeeze into this tight little pussy of yours…”

He pulls away and lifts your dress off of you. He marvels at how your breasts rise and fall as you breathe heavily; if he’s surprised that you aren’t wearing a bra, he doesn’t seem to care. He’s just infatuated with your chest to realize how easy it was to feel them. He takes off his shirt and shifts his position to lean against the headboard. He taps his thigh, “Take a seat, baby.”

“But…” you climb above him, about to sit on his lap, but you pause, “You’re wearing dress pants.”

“And?” He grabs your hips and pushes you down onto his lap, grinding you roughly against the coarse fabric.

“And aren’t you afraid I’ll ruin them?” He releases his hold on your hips and you gently rut against him, wanting to savor the feeling of his strong thigh pressing into you.

“I don’t give a shit. I know you’ll soak these pants with your dripping pussy; it will smell like your sweet cunt for days, no matter how many times I wash it.” He takes his cock out as he reaches for you panties thrown across the bed, raising it to his nose to take a deep whiff.

He is pumping his cock as he groans, “You smell so amazing, baby girl, I love it. I can’t wait to fuck you up.” He reaches over and stuffs the panties in your mouth, making you taste your own arousal. He plays with your nipples as you ride his thigh, slowing down as you feel your orgasm approaching.

When he notices your hips stuttering,  he pulls you off of him to prevent your climax. You whimper, the panties still in your mouth and you desperately try to climb onto him again. Instead, he laughs at your desperation as he flips you over, slapping your ass and pulling your gag from your mouth.

You lay on your stomach as you hear him taking off his pants and searching for a condom. You begin to hump the mattress, desperately trying to approach the orgasm that Jungkook had denied countless times throughout the night.

Before you know it, he’s right behind you, his erect cock prodding your thigh. “Stop that,” he slaps your ass again, watching it jiggle.  You feel the head of him rub against your folds, prodding against your sensitive clit, making you jump at the sensation. “Spread your legs.”

You obey immediately, following every one of his orders, making him hum in satisfaction. “I’ve got such a good fucking toy to play with, don’t I? You just do whatever I tell you.”

He sinks into his palms that rest on either side of your head and he begins to push inside of you. You feel the head pop in and you gasp out, grabbing at the bed sheets, as you savor every inch of his thick cock. You love the burn of the stretch, and you feel his fingers grip onto your jaw as he pulls your face towards him. His fingers sink into your mouth again and you moan, sucking hard on them.

When he finally bottoms out, with his hips against your ass, he groans into your neck, “You feel perfect around my cock, baby. You’re such a good little whore for me, aren’t you? So wet, so needy, just for me. You love this, don’t you?” He doesn’t wait for a reply; instead, he opens your mouth roughly and spits in it. He groans in satisfaction as he sees you swallow his saliva.

You felt the head of his dick against your womb and you shuddered as you clenched around his length, loving how deep his cock was buried inside of you. Jungkook began a fierce pace, pulling out until just the head of him was inside of you, then snapping his hips forward until you felt every part of his cock. You let out a scream while he continues to ram in and out of you, thrusting with so much force that the mattress bangs against the headboard with every twitch of his hips.

“Oh my god, Jungkook, your cock is so deep,” you gasp out, panting and moaning so loudly that you are sure someone will hear you through the thin walls.

“Hm, my little cockslut, you feel so fucking good around me. Your cunt was made for my dick, baby. So fucking tight for me. When’s the last time someone used it, huh? Hm, that’s right, scream my name, let everyone know that I’m the one who’s fucking you so good.”

“Oh, god, yes! Fuck me harder, please, Jungkook, just use me like the whore I am! I just want to feel your fucking cock all day!”

He lets out a deep chuckle as he pushes himself even deeper inside of you. “Be careful what you wish for, baby. I’m gonna fuck you so well, you’ll forget your own name. I’ll be fucking you until there are tears in your eyes, until it hurts to move. That’s right. you’ll be milking every last drop out of my cock, I don’t care if you’re begging me to stop. You’ll be my perfect little cockslut, my little sex slave. That’s what you want, right?”

“Yes, yes, yes, Jungkook, please! Make me yours! Claim me as your bitch!”

“You like that? You like being completely at my mercy? You’re like a bitch in fucking heat; I can’t wait to make you tremble because I’m fucking you so well.” You whimper as you feel yourself approaching your high. You bite the pillows as you try to contain the pleasure growing inside of you. “That’s right, cockslut. Come all over my fat cock, soak it like the little bitch you are.” His voice is deep and commanding, and you have no choice but to completely lay limp as you become undone.

Your body is trembling, just like his goal had been, and you begin to twitch as you feel him continue thrust into you at a speed that didn’t seem to be faltering at all. “Jungkook…” you whimper.

“Hmm? What is it baby girl? Too sensitive? Too bad. I said I wouldn’t stop until you milked every last drop of cum from my cock.” You were shaking, your body twitching with each thrust. Not only was his cock over-stimulating you, but you felt his thumb reach for your clit and begin to rub ruthlessly as he grabbed your jaw with his other hand. His lips sucked on yours, and you felt him smirk onto your lips and he continued to pound into you. “You felt so fucking good clenching around me and soaking me with your cum. I wanna milk your little pussy until you’re sobbing like the pathetic bitch you are. Got it?” he pushes you back down roughly and you lay there, letting him pump in and out of you, overstimulating and fucking you to his heart’s content.

You feel another orgasm quickly approaching as he sped up his pace. You writhe underneath him, trying to find anything to grab onto. But before you can even scream his name, you are convulsing around him, shaking from yet another orgasm.

You lay still out of exhaustion, but Jungkook doesn’t mind as he grips your hips and ruts into you, using your body as a sex toy to get himself off. He moans loudly, grunting as he approaches his high, and you feel him slow down as he groans, “Such a good fucking slut I’ve got on my hands.” He finally releases into his condom and he stays inside of you until he softens.  

Once he pulls out, he throws away the condom before plopping down next to you and laying on his back, toned chest rising and falling.  You flip over and rest your head on his bicep. Looking at him, he didn’t remind you of the asshole who was shameless in public, groping several women at once, but rather a boy with a sweet, child-like personality. Tonight didn’t mean that you liked him. Not at all. You still weren’t friends with him. This was definitely a one-time thing. Or, more accurately, a two-time thing.  

He turned his head and grinned at you. “So, were you ‘satisfied’ this time?” You rolled your eyes as he mocked you, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you nodded. He laughed like a child and grabbed your face to slip his tongue into your mouth.

You broke the kiss, “Jungkook?” He hummed and pulled your lips back to his, not wanting to waste a second. You laughed and pushed him away. “Can I stay tonight? I don’t have a bed.”

He just chuckles. “Didn’t I offer you my bed the day you moved in?”