#like surely beauty is the opposite of pain? beauty is happiness beauty is freedom beauty is love beauty is nature?

[hirsuteandcute]

Something I wish that more people understood abt hirsutism is how very thick and strong the roots of our hair is. All of the roots on my body hair are comparable to men’s, even when the hair looks thin above the skin, the root is absolutely atrocious and aggressive. So much of my body (arms, back, stomach, nipples, legs, bikini line etc etc) has scars and pigmentation that are years old because of scabbing and rashes and bleeding from removing the hair. Even shaving is painful because cutting the hair makes it so sharp the regrowth literally feels like it’s cutting my skin. I’ve had skin infections that required prescription meds just because of the extent of damage hair removal did to my skin.

And it’s just absurd to me that it’s so crucial to so much of society that women play into this weird charade that we naturally don’t have any body hair and must immediately remove the hair we grow, that they would rather we go through this than just.. not remove the hair.

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Free

Anthony J Crowley's been living rough since he was kicked out by his parents as a kid. Somehow he's made it to the age of 40 and he's still alive, but if you asked him, he's not really sure how the hell he's managed it. It's not been pretty. Alistair Zachariah (Az) Fell runs a bookshop, but is still under the strict yoke of his parents: their eternal disappointment. 40 years old and he's desperately unhappy and hit crisis point. They meet (again?) as inpatients in an acute mental health ward. They have nothing in common. Obviously. How could they? They're practically opposites. So why are they so drawn to one another?

Length: 175,846 Words

AO3 Rating: Explicit/ Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: At Home, Angst, Human AU, Hurt/Comfort

Triggers: Severe Mental Health Issues including: Suicide, Self Harm, Disordered Eating, Drug Use, Sexual Assault (Past),  Involuntary Hospital Admittance, and more. Please read all author notes

Read it here, fic by imposterssyndrome

*Minor Spoilers* To get the disclaimers out of the way, please check the tags and warnings for this story. It will not be the right fic for everyone. If you're sensitive to triggering content or can't engage with these topics healthily, it's best to skip this one. Take the warnings and author's notes seriously, they are there for your protection. But if you can handle this kind of content, let me tell you why this story is worth your time.

This is a story about two broken souls finding each other at their lowest points. It's a painful, brutal, and frustrating journey of healing, but we will get our happy ending. Crowley (later renamed Jae) and Az meet as patients in a mental health ward. Crowley has had a rough life since childhood and struggles with severe mental health issues. Az has just survived an attempt on his life. We follow them through their time in the ward, highlighting how difficult recovery can be in our society. Neither receives the support they truly need. Eventually, they fall in love, and we witness their many ups and downs as a couple. Their actions and choices will push, frustrate, and devastate you. But that's the point. Mental health is neither easy nor kind, and it can be cruel and desperate. Both characters need to heal themselves before they can heal their relationship.

What makes me so passionate about this story is that while reading it as a WIP, I kept thinking about the importance of media depicting serious mental illness for those who experience it, especially when written by someone who truly understands it. Representation matters for every group, and mental health struggles are no different. It's crucial to feel seen and understood, and people with "scary" behaviors deserve to feel represented too. It's so important to read a story like this, and not have the moral be "love conquers all". It doesn't. Love alone didn't save or "fix" Jae or Az, but that doesn't mean they aren't worthy of love. Once they put in the work, and start to heal on their own terms, then their relationship can flourish. It's beautiful and hopeful, to start at such a low point and be taken on this journey of freedom.

Again, be gentle with yourself, but if you can handle this content, I think this story has a message worth hearing. Sex scenes wise you'll be mostly fine in public, but this is truly an at home or in a safe space read. It can get in depth with some difficult topics, but it always handled them with grace. Breaks will be your friend! It's a long and heavy work, I don't want you to binge this one. I feel so fond of these specific iterations and I am so proud of them both for the journey they go on. My heart felt tied to them both throughout the weeks I had been following it and it's finale brought me to happy tears. Jae and Az will always have a special place in my heart.

To any of you that struggle with their mental health severely, and especially to my drug users and self harmers, I love you.

Read it here, fic by imposterssyndrome

[softedgessculptures]

With each "day" that passes according to earthly terms, I realize that I came to the body of a girl whose heart cries every day.

Every day her mind wishing for peace, freedom, happiness, and health. How much she needs, needs, begs me, to be loved. I love her. But she... she still cries a lot. On my journey walking through the gardens of life, I deeply feel all the emotions that Amanda feels. I am aware that my true nature is "happiness" and "absolute peace" however, I do. I like to give Amanda the freedom to be able to process her pains and passions. "What is Amanda going to feel today?" and it's like I drown in her feelings and find a whole secret world, full of curiosities and emotions not understood. I confess that I like to feel, what it's like to be her. Amanda has big, curious eyes, always looking at the world as well. Whether it's looking at a beautiful house with gardens, or the tiniest ant that carries its food. "So fierce, so strong," she thinks. Her heart soon aches. "I wish I was strong as that"

She does the chores. Tired. Her adorable brothers, always laughing, but fighting a lot. Fights and more fights. Every day.

What she asks so much of me yet... it didn't arrive. She looks at her little old house and feels her eyes and nostrils ache in tears: "I need to do everything... but it's not like there's anything out here to achieve?" And she's so afraid. So much fear, being there is nothing to fear and I'll aways be with her to protect her from everything.

Beyond that, Amanda see couples on the street, on social media, everywhere. Smiles and more smiles, promises. A mere glimpse of touching hands makes Amanda's ears go up, and if she had a tail, she'd sure be wagging. She smiles and everything is beautiful, her cheeks burn, her heart flutters. The sweat on her hands with small cuts and burns moistens her clothes (Amanda is learning how to be a good cook) and then, her eyes double in size. "When will it be my turn?" and then... again, that familiar feeling. Sadness. Amanda has always been a girl who idealized romances since as a child, what she had inside her house was almost the total opposite of what they call "romance" here. Ah, that feeling which leads human beings to ruin.

Amanda, by the way, always had a boyfriend in mind. I know him very well, because he's also my creation but... with what she liked. I remember when Amanda dictated to me her wants and desires of her ideal partner, and I delivered everything she wanted into her imagination. She has always been, and is, so happy there. Amanda loves my home that she owns in her body, such a house called by "imagination".

She's always been around here, and she's still kind of addicted, because here I give her everything she wants without the slightest effort. Here, she is happy, free, loved, and very beautiful. Her parents don't suffer at work and she has a beautiful house, as she always asked me and still asks of me. Her mouth salivates imagining trying the foods she sees in videos, she dreams and always asks me for delicious dishes. And I, in extreme love and compassion, give it. How many dishes she dreams of.

But I wanted her to... believe more in me. To know that my house is the only real house that exists that from here, she can have everything she wants materializing for her on Earth. That Amanda's house isn't the one she has now, or any house she sees on the Internet. Her home is me, and unlike the Earth plane, here everything is ready.

Flowers, a garden, dolls, a beautiful kitchen and the husband she dreams of are already here, waiting anxiously for her. I also look forward to her. For more than my creation, she is my daughter, with a body and an ego that has been through a lot in this world and that she not only can, but must rest.

Here everything is hers, everything. I hope she realizes this soon and looks no further on Earth, outside of my home, which is part of it. I gave it away exclusively just so I could make your dreams come true, without even lifting a finger.

Nothing on Earth is real. I've given her a wonderful world, but one that she can't let herself get too carried away in order not to get hurt... but Amanda is stubborn. I love her so much, even though she longs to be loved by someone other than me and herself. She wants her prince and I'll give to her. She wants people to be happy and dreams of her friends making their dreams come true and being loved too. She just wants everyone to be okay.

I will give everything to her. I want to see her happy because by experiencing her body I can understand what she goes through, incessantly. She deserves it.

My dear. You're all set. Come to your room, your gifts, and it's all here for you. More than any material possessions, you will have the freedom and be in union with me, because you are a part of me. The womb of life. Here Amanda can sleep and eat as much as she wants, whatever she wants. I will hold her in my heart with me where she will always be warm and feel loved, for there is no love and peace like Mine.

I'm waiting for you to wake up and come to me my dear Amanda. I'm your home, your craftsman, your imagination.

From " " to Amanda.

[notmybrotherskeeper6]

And then maybe, one day, all of this will mean something to someone. But it seems, today, none of this means anything to anyone.

For I am just a sailor going to the siren. And so are you. With every passing minute we are all closer to death. It seems I am awaiting my fate with baited breath.

I am not sure what is worse. Being in denial that life and people and animals and plants and happiness are meaningless, worthless, distractions… or that I am constantly thinking about what death is. What death really is.

If death is feeling nothing, I already know it.

If death is feeling trapped like a caged animal, then I already know it.

If death is despair, I already know it.

It seems my dilemma is that I do not fear what is inevitable. It satiates my starving brain to think about what others do not.

But in thinking about my end, it seems I have never began. What is the point of death if life itself is so meaningless. Is the point of life to die? Or is the point of death… to live?

To live freely? I do not think such a concept is possible. For we are all trapped. Trapped in the viscous, thick, poisoned blood that humans have shed upon the earth.

If death is freedom from humanity, then I await it as I await a long lost friend. A warm embrace for releasing me of my torment on Earth.

If there is a Creator, he has a cruel, unjust sense of humor and punishment. If death is to be so feared, then why would the Creator make life so miserable? And if life is supposed to be joyous, then why would the Creator create death?

There is no answer. Just like everything else.

Maybe that’s all I want. Answers. Or maybe I want people to care about answers. Maybe I want people to realize their own suffering so that I have to stop thinking about how everyone is suffering.

If life is meant to take everything that makes you unique, different, beautiful, and REAL…

…then maybe life is not for me.

If death is the opposite of life, then maybe death is where I will fit in. Not into a shoebox like life— but a special place just for me. That’s shaped for me, made for me, crafted for me.

If life is where people hate, maybe death is where people love.

If life is where people murder, rape, punish, abuse, torment; maybe death is where people love, hug, kiss, share, belong.

People who see life as overwhelmingly good, I’m sorry to say that you are lying to yourself. I know- it’s not what anyone wants to hear. But I wish someone had told me earlier just how hard life is.

I am aware that there are good moments in life, just as there are bad moments in death. Truth be told; maybe death is worse. Maybe death is bad.

But if, say, death is bad and scary and awful… is it really any worse than what we endure during life?

Worried about burning in Hell? Will it be any worse than being shot on the street, like a common pest, while you are trying to make your life live-able?

Worried about not being able to feel anything when you die? How is that worse than lying up all night, eyes wide, unable to sleep because you can’t convince your brain to feel anything?

What if you can’t see your loved ones when you die? Surely, this will be painful. But, again, when you are alive, your loved ones will hurt you, betray you, lash out at you… and be afraid of you.

Maybe, then, it is worth it to become a hermit (like I have) and to stay in the house and avoid everything and everyone.

Not because I am afraid of death.

But because I am afraid of being alive.

“Ramblings of my OCD” part 1- OC.

[scare-you]

Eren said it himself, he wanted his friends, all of them to live a long and happy life. He knew they will never be left alone, the hate would never stop. Was he going the extra mile with the rumbling? Most likely. But with his friends and the rest of the shifters topping him, he made sure they would be left alone.

He reached his original goal as well, there are no more titans.

He told Mikasa to move on in their very last conversation. That scenario was never ever going to be real, with Eren and Mikasa hiding. But deep down both Eren and Mikasa wanted that. He still told her to move on and forget about him, and only confessed his true feelings, thoughts and desires about Mikasa once Armin literally punched him and demanded him to do so. He is a 19 year old boy with selfish desires, but he hid them, swallowed them all, and chose the option best for his friends, knowing he would never gain anything out of it, he would never see them achieve that freedom which he gave up on, and he will never get to be happy with them and Mikasa ever again. So yes, Isayama did what he promised. He gave us a bittersweet, beautiful ending.

But most characters achieved their goals too:

Reiner can stop fighting at last and reunited with both his friends in Paradis and in Marley, without hurting or disappointing his mother, who was happy for him not being a walking weapon with a limited life-span anymore.

Falco got to stay with Gabi and protect her, and they will most likely be happy together forever.

Annie reunited with her father and now can stop fighting too.

Armin will see the world, he now has the chance, he can also be with Annie.

Pieck doesn't have to worry about her father's pain of losing her daughter anymore.

Jean will be able to settle down.

Connie's mom is okay.

Historia seems happy, and as she knew of Eren's intentions, she chose to not reveal them. She may not have made the best decision, but she was living her own life with her own choices. In the end, she has a beautiful daughter which she genuinely loves and will be able to give her a childhood she did not get.

Levi can be at peace, he did not disappoint his comrades.

Mikasa will be able to move on. It was Eren's deathday, and she wanted to be by his side. Is it hard to let go after loving him for so long? Definitely. But her last smile seems convincing enough that she is accepting the results of her choice and WILL be able to move on, even if it will hurt for a long time.

Ymir's motive became extremely simple and heartbreaking.

It was shown in a few panels how she observed couples longingly. She wanted love. She wanted someone to care about her, she did not want to be a nameless slave anymore, but just like those couples, someone else's other half. A little girl always dreams of the strongest, most unreachable ones (just like we dream of celebrities as young teenagers), and with a good amount of toxicity and morbidness, she became attached to her oppressor. She saw a chance with her new-found powers to make him love her, but she remained a concubine, a slave, and had to endure him loving different women, while he only "loved" her because of the things she'd done for the Eldians. Even as she died, she remained a slave, as Fritz said it himself.

Ymir was bound not by being a slave in life, but being a slave to her own foolish love, desperately trying to get Fritz's love even after she was technically free in Paths, thus serving the royal family in order to keep herself close to what remained of Fritz, their legacy. As Eren said, she really wasn't a god nor was she a devil. She was just a girl who stumbled upon great powers. The power of the titans did not set her free, because she remained a person with her own stupid and selfish desires.

Mikasa set her free because she showed her how to let go. She did the exact opposite of what Ymir did. Mikasa, even if she will grieve for a long time, will be free, while Ymir remained a slave for 2000 years until she was finally able to let go of everything that she deemed important in order to earn Fritz's love: the Titans and everything that came with it.

I will go down with this ending as it indeed is beautiful and bittersweet.

[rainy-day-coffee]

Vice dorm leaders with a fem!s/o who doesn't care about her, but cares hella for other people? She is someone extremely lovely, but doesn't care for go to extremes to help someone?

Make sure to take care of yourself everyone! Go drink water! Or tea! Or better yet, coffee! Go eat something too!

If this isn’t exactly what you wanted, don’t hesitate to send in another request! On an entirely different note, I just realized that if I wrote a confession scenario for Jamil it would contain a ton of angst, with some ending fluff in an attempt to heal the wounds. Or maybe more angst to squeeze lemon juice in said wounds.

Vice dorm leaders with a caring fem!s/o who does not care for herself

Trey knows the feeling of burnout at the expense of others. He doesn’t tend to put the needs of others before his own, but he is used to leaving them for later if the situation calls for it. As vice dorm leader, he always has a steady stream of stress flowing all around him. It’s one of the last things he would wish upon anyone.

His dorm always seems to have a new source of trouble. You always try and lessen his burden even when he tells you it isn’t necessary. It melts him on the inside!

He’s thoroughly heart-broken when he realizes you care for everyone but yourself. He knew you had a tendency to prioritize others, he just hadn’t thought it would be this severe.

In his free time, he’ll sit you down and have a long talk with you. He needs to know why exactly you feel the need to do this and what he can do to help. If you aren’t confident enough to tell him, he’ll respect your wishes.

If you thought he radiated parent aura before, he’ll radiate nearly twice as much now. He sends you text messages throughout the day to remind you of things! For example, “If Ace and Deuce get into trouble again, let them. Riddle can chew them out later”

He’ll gently pull you away from draining situations you put yourself in. If you so desire, you can return to them later. For now, how about you help him bake a bit? It’s a great way to relieve some stress!

Your thinking and way of being is almost the exact opposite of his. Why are you willing to give people everything and not take anything for yourself? Why do you push your own importance to the bottom of the list? That is, if it’s even there in the first place. You absolutely baffle him to no end.

Growing up in the slums taught him to put his needs first. He acts solely to benefit himself, or so he says. That mindset carried on into your relationship too. For the long run, you both will learn from each other. Ruggie will teach you that it’s okay to think about yourself. Everything you do will benefit someone important to him, you. You’ll teach him that not every act of kindness needs something in return. He won’t be indebted to anyone, especially not to you.

Every time you offer to help him with anything his heart explodes with happiness! It’s a strange feeling, but he loves it nonetheless!

He does get a little jealous when you help others. He knows it’s in your nature but he’s a little on the greedier side.

The moment Ruggie sees you biting off more than you can chew, he will sit you down and make you rest. You’ve done this countless times for him, it’s only fair if he does it for you too.

He’ll help you with absolutely everything you ask! Your happiness is something that makes him happy too. It’s well worth the investment!

He’s guilty of exploiting you. Long before your relationship blossomed into what it is today, he would ruthlessly watch you diligently completing tasks for others. Even he would give you things to do! You were always willing to help after all. It didn’t matter if he threw a tsunami of different chores at you, you’d always do your best to complete them. It amused him greatly. A caring hard-worker with no strings attached? How excellent.

That way of thinking changes a bit when he starts to develop feelings for you. It changes even more when you two start dating.

Loves that you support his club activities! He likes inviting you to help him too. The Mountain Appreciation Club now has two members!

If he sees people dump their problems on you, he’ll send his dear brother after them. While Floyd has fun squeezing them, Jade will invite you to take a nice long break with him instead.

He knows that talking sometimes isn’t the best way to get things to happen. He’s aware that changing the way someone thinks is also something that will take time.

If you refuse to put your needs first, he’ll request things from you whilst simultaneously canceling all other plans. Those requests will simply include things he knows you enjoy doing and things he knows you need to attend to. You’ll do it for him no doubt, correct?

You managed to worm your way into a cold eel’s heart, you now must deal with the “selfish” love he gives. Though that love doesn’t seem all that selfish.

At first he was very hesitant to let you into his life, much his less heart. People who were “kind” to him always hide their true intentions until the last moment. Usually, they would only be kind to him to get to Kalim, something Jamil always had to be wary of.

He’s used to people asking him for his services, not someone asking to help him with them. Although Kalim is always willing to help him, Jamil can never accept, not that he wants to in the first place. It’s a different case with you.

Mainly, he’ll give you tasks the two of you can do together. It’s a way to squeeze in more time with you! Apart from that, he prefers to do his work by himself. He doesn’t want to rope you into his life as a servant.

Jamil isn’t the best at speaking about emotions and such. When he realizes just how little you take for yourself, he feels pained but he won’t say anything about it. Instead, he takes it upon himself to help you just as you’ve helped him.

As hypocritical as he thinks it is, he wants you to take care of your own needs and desires too. Ever since Kalim granted him more freedom, he’s been trying to do the same. Although you two are different cases, it’s a lesson both of you can learn together.

The moment you become his girlfriend, he technically starts to stalk you. He used to do so before the relationship started as, but whether you knew that or not is a subject for another day.

After watching you for a while, he starts to notice a pattern. Not one he likes either.

Rook sees the beauty in everything and everyone. He has a way of convincing people to see that beauty too. He’ll slowly make sure you extend that kindness you give to others to yourself. As eccentric as he is, he’s also a very patient man.

He’ll verbally remind you and ask what you really want to do. This includes the topic of his requests too. If he ever asks for something that you really don’t want to do, he’ll drop it. He tells you it’s your right to put your needs first.

“Mon amour, all people in the world are important and worth loving. That includes yourself. If you ever find yourself forgetting this, I will be here to remind you every day!”

He’s a very giving lover himself! He goes out of his way to do many things for you! 

He doesn’t want you to change who you are, he just wants you to be kinder to yourself!

More likely than not, you’re some sort of friend to Idia. You probably met him through Ortho!

He’s very grateful to you, you’re one of the first real-life people who has tried to befriend Idia. You’ve probably tried to get Idia to practice some more healthy eating habits and the like too. Apart from that, you also try to understand both of them.

Ortho sees you as a best friend, maybe even an older sister! He doesn’t like to see such negative thoughts concerning your well-being.

Just like he does for his older brother, he tries to get you to practice some healthier habits. More specifically, he makes you promise to help yourself! It’s his way of showing that he cares for you greatly.

Be wary, he pops up randomly during the day to remind you to take care of yourself! If he sees you helping a friend, he will help you himself. Afterwards, he’ll drag you to rest! You spend lots of energy both physically and mentally, you need to recharge! Not even Ortho can run for forever without recharging his battery!

Lean on him! He’s very reliable, his brother has given him many different features!

He’s met people such as yourself before. Right off the bat he knew how you handled yourself.

As much as he appreciates the amount of effort you put into helping him, he most likely will shoot you down from trying in the first place. He’s an old one, he can do such work easily you can rest assured!

He constantly tells you to enjoy your youth. Go on! Do crazy things! Be selfish! 

Lilia will be your personal cheerleader on your journey!

In all seriousness though, he’ll have a talk with you about this. Among other things, he’ll gently encourage you to push yourself forward. Though it will be a long process, stamping out the thoughts of needing to help others without helping yourself is the first step.

Nobody dares to ask too much of you. The vice leader of Diasomnia may look cute on the outside but he does have an intense aura surrounding him when he wants to.

He likes to rope you into spontaneous adventures in the great outdoors! It’s a perfect get-away from the stress at school. It also gives you some time to sort out your thoughts. 

Slowly but surely he’ll make you realize your worth is just as-if not even more-important as those around you.

[arvinsescape]

Ok when you have the time I thought of this Arvin x reader scenario. Arvin comes to a small town after the events of the movie and falls for the sweet girl working at the bakery and visits her everyday. If you wanna add smut, angst, fighting, or make it only tooth rotting fluff , I don’t care. Have the freedom to write it as you see fit!⭐️👄⭐️

His angel.

A/N: Thank you so much for sending this in! It got kinda long! I really hope you enjoy!!💕

Warnings: Language, Violence, misogyny.

Arvin had moved to the small town after the events of Knockemstiff, that's where he met you. You worked at the local bakery and Arvin was almost addicted to you, he found himself seeking out the bakery almost every day in hopes you were working.

Arvin thought you were sweet and kind, he often found himself thinking about you when he was working on a car at the garage he worked in. Your sweet smile always managed to pull a smile from him, you made his heart do flips and he wanted to work up the courage to ask you on a date.

He'd tried a couple of times, he really had but it always got caught in his throat and he found himself with sweaty palms and a racing heart. He was not the only man in the small town who liked you, no, most of the men did. It angered Arvin, their thoughts were nowhere near as innocent as his own.

Arvin hated the way the men in town spoke about your body and the things they wanted to do to you. It upset him that they couldn't see the sweet girl who deserved the world, only saw you as a piece of meat. He'd almost punched his work colleague for a remark he'd made about your physique.

It wasn't that Arvin didn't find you attractive because god he did, but you were so much more than that in his eyes. He'd gotten to know the sweet and caring nature you had, the way you would try and help anyone regardless of what it cost you.

He was yet again in the bakery, his daily routine, he felt a need to see you at least once a day, allow you to brighten his mood just by smiling at him. Grayson, one of the dickwads that liked to make remarks about you walked in, Arvin felt his anger rise as he watched the man rake his eyes up your body, eyeing you like a prize.

"Y/N? You got any of them sweet cakes left? You know, the ones I like?" He asked and Arvin watched as you gave the man that sweet smile of yours.

"Sure." You answered in that angelic voice. Arvin swears he never believed in angels or any of that stuff until he met you. "How many do you want?" You asked politely, making your way back around the counter.

"I'll take them all." He answered as you bagged them up before charging him, Arvin watched as he handed over the money shooting you a wink.

"Keep it. I'm sure you'll enjoy my tip." He said and Arvin nearly flew for the guy. How dare he? He watched as you gulped slightly, face draining of colour. "How about it doll? Me and you?" Grayson continued and Arvin watched as you shook your head in response.

"I think you should leave her alone." Arvin said as he stood to full height, he might have been slightly shorter than Grayson but Arvin looked far more intimidating.

"What's it got to do with you? Oh, sorry am I trying to muscle in on your territory? I'll happily have her once you've had your fun." Grayson laughed and Arvin felt his blood boil over, taking quick and firm steps towards the man.

"Now listen here you fucking asshole. You leave her alone or you'll have me to answer to, she's not interested." Arvin said, he'd subconsciously grabbed Grayson's shirt.

He watched as Grayson shook slightly, fear shooting through his eyes before he composed himself and held his hands up in defence, cocky smirk on his face.

"Sorry, sorry. Didn't realise it was so serious. I was only having a laugh."

"Fuck off out of here before I throw you out." Arvin said through gritted teeth and Grayson did as he was told, Arvin loosening his grip on his shirt. He turned to look at you. "Sorry." Arvin said sheepishly, he was annoyed with himself for losing his temper in front of you.

"Thank you, Arvin." You said and Arvin nodded before making his way out of the little shop. He was almost kicking himself for losing his temper, thoughts about how you were too good for him flooding his thoughts.

You were completely the opposite, he was all fists and violence and you were all sweet and lovely, there's no way you'd ever be interested.

**

Arvin didn't see you for almost a week, too embarrassed to step foot back in the shop. You shouldn't have had to witness him snap like that, memories of his past flooding through the back of his mind. You were too good for him, too good for a man who'd murdered people, whether they deserved it or not, he didn't want to drag you down.

Arvin was aware he could be a self destructive person, he could be grumpy and not see the fun in most things. You were the opposite and he just didn't want to drag you down, you deserved better, the world in fact. Arvin was so caught up in his own thoughts as he walked through the quiet streets that he almost didn't hear it.

"Grayson, stop." It was your voice, but it sounded sad, panicked, strange to Arvin's ears. "Seriously, I'm not interested you need to leave me alone. Go home." You shouted, you were trying to keep your voice steady Arvin could tell that much but it wasn't convincing.

"Oh come on Y/N, a bit of fun never hurt anyone." Grayson's voice echoed off the quiet walls and Arvin hastily made his way towards the voices. His heart hammering in his chest as the panic rose, he needed to get to you and make sure you were okay, make sure you weren't hurt.

Arvin quickly found the two people the voices belonged to and his anger rose again. Grayson was stood, hand wrapped around your wrist as you struggled to get him to let go, this fucker was in for it.

"Oi!" Arvin shouted and your eyes locked with his own, relief flooding them. "Let go." Arvin snarled and he watched as Grayson released your wrist.

"Fuck off Arvin, this has nothing to do with you." Grayson said, great he was drunk Arvin thought.

"I told you last week to leave her alone and I fucking meant it." Arvin snapped as he made his way towards the two figures, your feet quickly carrying you towards him. Arvin felt almost relived as as you stood in front of him and Arvin couldn't stop himself as he moved you behind him.

"Empty fucking threat. Come on, hand her over." The drunken male said as he made his way towards you, Arvin's hand instantly landing on his chest, stopping him. "Fine, you want a fucking fight over a stupid whore, then let's have at it." Grayson spat, far more confidence due to the alcohol buzzing through his system.

Arvin felt his anger reach a dangerous level at his words, he almost forgot that you were there as he swung for the man. Grayson must have expected it as he ducked just in time, Arvin's fist connecting with the wall. The pain almost didn't register to him as he swung again, this time knocking Grayson backwards.

He watched as the man stumbled, split lip evident and a look of pure anger in his face. Grayson made a move for Arvin but Arvin was smarter and far more powerful than the man in front of him as he knocked him onto his back. Arvin almost couldn't stop himself as he climbed on top of the man and repeatedly shoving his fist into his face. It brought back memories of the time he'd taught Lenora's bullies a lesson.

"Arvin, stop." He heard the words, but they didn't register. "Arvin!" He heard a little more firmly. "You're gonna kill him, you need to stop!" He heard again and he felt a soft hand touch his shoulder, Arvin came crashing back to reality as his vision cleared and he took in the man below him.

Arvin stood up quickly, Grayson groaned before rolling over spitting blood onto the floor. Arvin had just completely lost his temper and in front of you. He felt ashamed of himself, what the fuck where you going to think?

Arvin turned to face you, all thoughts of Grayson leaving him, you looked utterly terrified and Arvin felt awful. He'd probably just scared you off forever, your hands shook slightly as you reached for his hand, carefully holding it in your own.

"I just want to go home." You said just above a whisper, Arvin nodded slightly he walked you home, he needed to make sure you got home safe even if you spent the rest of your life hating him for what had just happened.

The walk was silent, you were unreadable, facial expression something Arvin had never seen before. It wasn't your usual happy self, you seemed deep in thought and Arvin wondered what was going on in that beautiful head. You were probably thinking of ways you could avoid him, a way you could get him to leave you alone.

You silently unlocked your door and Arvin waited for you to let go of his hand but you didn't as you made your way inside, pulling Arvin with you. You sat him down on your couch and silently left the room, returning with a first aid box.

You carefully took his hand in your own and only then did Arvin notice the blood and cuts on them. He watched with furrowed brows as you took a washcloth and wiped the blood away, almost like you were slowly removing the evidence of his violent outburst.

"This might sting a little." You said, voice soft as you looked at him with a sad smile before applying the alcohol rag, Arvin hissed as he felt the alcohol enter his cuts. He resisted the urge to pull his hand from your own, he didn't want to frighten you with any sudden movements.

"I'm sorry." Arvin spoke through a sigh when you grabbed a bandage to wrap his hand in. You looked at him with furrowed brows.

"What for?" You asked and Arvin looked at you like you'd grown two heads, his now bandaged hand leaving your own.

"For losing my temper." Arvin clarified.

"Arvin, you saved me tonight. I'm grateful, sure you could have held back but you saved me." You answered with that sweet smile and being here, in your lovely home, his hands bandaged up he realised he could never have you, you deserved more.

"Stop being so nice. I could've killed the guy." Arvin snapped and you looked at him shocked, he'd never taken that tone with you. "You are too nice for your own good."

"I, you," You tried to speak but Arvin cut you off.

"Don't make excuses for me. I'm a violent person Y/N, wherever I go violence follows and you, you're a good fucking person. You shouldn't be around people like me." He ranted.

"I wasn't making excuses Arvin!" You said, voice slightly raised.

"You should stay as far away from me as possible."

"But Arvin, I don't want to, I really like you!" You exclaimed and Arvin scoffed.

"I saw that look of fear in your eyes tonight. You saw it didn't you, how dangerous I am when I lose my temper." He raged and you stood your ground, determined.

"You wouldn't hurt me." You said confidently.

"You don't know that." Arvin spat back and you shook your head.

"You won't. I know what you're trying to do. You think I'm too good for you so you're just trying to push me away, make me hate you but I don't." You said as you took a step towards him.

"You are too good for me!" He shouted, "you can't fix me Y/N, I'm not like all those old people you help, I can't be helped. I'm violent and I'm no good for you." Arvin was trying desperately to get you to see what he did. "What if I lost my temper with you?" He shouted again.

"You have." You pointed out and Arvin furrowed his brows in response. "You're angry right now and look, I'm fine. You haven't tried to hurt me because you won't. You think I'm some perfect woman Arvin but I'm not. I don't want to fix you, I want you for you." You said as you stepped ever so close to him.

Your scent filled his senses and he became almost drugged from how close you were, his heart beating, palms sweaty. He looked at you and the anger washed away and all he was left with was a sadness.

"Y/N," he sighed. "I like you, so fucking much but I'm no good, you have no idea the burden's I carry, what I've done."

"I don't care," you said as you took his face in your hands. "I don't care what you've done. I care about you and how you make me feel. Arvin, you are a good man, you just need to let yourself see it." You smiled at him. "Kiss me." You demanded of him.

Arvin studied you for a moment, studied how close you'd gotten, how he saw no evidence of fear in your eyes, only adoration, for him. Maybe he wasn't a good man but he would always protect you, always make sure the ground you walked on was worshipped. Maybe he didn't think he was good enough for you but you did and how could he deny you? He would always treat you the way you deserved even if he did have flaws.

Arvin took your face in his hands, yours falling over the top of his own as he pulled you towards him, capturing your lips in his own. The kiss was sweet as you wrapped your arms around his neck, one of his hands slipping to cup your neck. The kiss deepened slightly but out of need and longing, he'd wanted this for so long.

"Stay?" You asked as he rested his forehead against your own. "Please? Arvin, I want you, I want to be with you." You spoke and Arvin felt his heart flutter. He was never going to be a danger to you, you were a goddam fucking angel in his eyes.

"Okay. I'll stay." He agreed as he pulled you in for another kiss. He knew he'd have to tell you why he came here, knew he'd eventually have to come clean about his past and he was terrified it would scare you off. He wanted you so badly and the knowledge that you wanted him to, allowed him to let go of his fears. You were his angel and as long as you allowed him to grace your presence, he would.

[oswinsdolma]

Yes, it's nearly 2.00am (because that's apparently the only time I have inspiration to write essays) but I've been thinking a lot about this lately and wanted to get it off my chest, so here you go:

The main goal of Merlin becomes disturbingly fractured along the way, which opens up the gaps for the prophecy to seep through instead of following the expected channels, but it can essentially be boiled down to three key elements 1) build albion; 2) decriminalise magic and 3) save Arthur, but when all is said and done, we never really see any of those objectives achieved.

Now, there are a few reasons for this, both from a writing perspective and a plot perspective. The first, and one of the most obvious, is that this show loves irony. I won't go into a lot of detail here because I've already written a whole ass essay in this very subject, but in a nutshell, you can look at this from two perspectives: firstly, it's important to establish that this technique is purely about the angst: it's the writers' way of provoking a reaction from an anguished audience, but it's foreshadowed just enough to make it more painful than it is shocking. Alternatively, there is the more plot motivated irony in that it genuinely makes a good story. Irony is a technique that has been used for thousands of years, not just because it provokes a reaction from the audience, but because it allows you to explore your characters in greater detail than before, riddling them with hidden juxtapositions and internal conflicts that are never resolved quite in the way you expect. The irony in Merlin is the epitome of this, with the whole motif of Arthur needing to die for his reign to begin. It is a classic example of the simultaneous despair and hope that mocks you from the shadows.

Following this, there is another force at play that deals with half truths and seemingly imperfect contradictions, and that's prophecy. It's not really a secret that I have very strong feelings about prophecy and its effects on all the characters, Merlin in particular, and the fact that fate and destiny are such key themes in Merlin both makes perfect sense and wants me to smash my head into a brick wall. Prophecies are another common trope that often go hand in hand with irony (think Oedipus Rex, Macbeth, The Iliad, all that doomed hero shit that I inexplicably adore), the key to their influence over the plot often lying in how they usually come true in the most unexpected of ways. This links back to that initial theme of irony, but this isn't what makes me angry: what is infuriating is that prophecies tend to come true, no matter what, and most of the characters seem not only to know this, but to let it take their autonomy over their respective fates, driving them to disaster.

Let me elaborate: especially in season five (I'm assuming just for the added fall at the end), Merlin talks a lot about how "one day, things will be different". He tells sorcerers that one day they won't have to hide. That one day, they won't have to live in fear of who they are and what others think of them. And Merlin is right: while it is not explicitly stated, it's generally established that this is one of the things Merlin should actively be working towards. But here's the kick: except for a few specific circumstances, when has Merlin ever actively tried to change Arthur's mind about magic? Yes, he has taken a few opportunities, like with Dragoon saving Uther's life, or with the Dolma's final request, where he has encouraged Arthur to rethink his choices, but otherwise, his support has been lukewarm at best. Instead, his primary concern was always saving Arthur, so he can become the king the magical world hoped he'd be, but he left out a crucial part, trusting in the prophecy to fill in the gaps. He knew it would come true, but it was, almost predictably, in the one way he never dared to expect.

And in a twisted way, there's that thread of irony again: Merlin thought he was saving Arthur so he could one day become the king who would see magic as a force for good, but instead, he created someone who was merely a survivor. It was Kilgharrah who said it first, and he who would mention it last: they are two sides of the same coin. But as willing as Merlin was to give his life for Arthur, and vice versa, he was never really ready to give him his mind.

Another interesting thing to note is Merlin's fixation on the "Saving Arthur" lens of the prophecy over the "Restoring Magic" part. Now, there are a ton of ways you can look at this, depending on how far along the scale of Queer Analysis you are, so I'm going to try and address a couple. At one end of the scale, you have the fairly simple and very believable "merthur" take. This basically boils down to the fact that Merlin and Arthur may or may not be deeply in love with one another, and that drowns out any voice of reason that may unfold. This is actually fairly canon compliant, particularly looking at incidents such as the Disir, when Merlin chooses Arthur over his and his people's freedom, though that choice was clearly, in hindsight, misadvised.

At the other end of the spectrum, there is the idea that it is the work of Kilgharrah, Gaius and other responsible figures in Merlin's life when he was new to his role in destiny, who reiterated at every occasion that Arthur must be protected at all costs. This may have ingrained into Merlin's thoughts and influenced his decisions from here on out.

Between those two points, there is a grey area, and I am of the personal opinion that neither extreme entirely satisfies the situation. For me, I think the characters in question are far too complex to have such simple motivations, and that the true reason lies somewhere between the two: Merlin undoubtedly cares for Arthur, and while at the start, his actions in protacting Arthur may have been driven by other (largely superficial) motives, over time, their mutual affection blossomed to the point where certainly the more personal quests were motivated not by need, but by love. However, there is a divide here, and while the line in the sand smudges from time to time, it never really disappears: a lot of instances in which Merlin is trying to help Arthur are entirely overshadowed by destiny, and in time, Merlin comes to accept that Arthur and Destiny are, in fact, one and the same, and this is where that ever-present tragedy lies. For all he truth in here, Merlin doesn't get everything quite right: he sees Arthur as a balance that needs to be protected, without fully realising that he doesn't just have to keep the sides of his equation in equilibrium, but he actually has to start solving them if he wants them to endure.

Having just said all that, sometimes I decide to fuck over complexity for a few hours purely because I am a shameless merthur hoe.

Also, can you take a moment to please note that this last section is highly subjective and it is completely up to you as to what you decide!! This is just my opinion and you're welcome to agree or disagree at any point.

So, aside from the Angst Factor™ and twisted character development, why was the main goal never fulfilled? Unfortunately, that is a question far cleverer people than me can only speculate, as the writers alone know the answers, but I'm going to give my opinion a shot. Honestly, there is something beautifullly poetic about something that never ends, or ends when there could be something more. Humanity has struggled with endings-and beginnings- since it learned truly how to think, because that kind of finality, that inkling that there might have been nothing before and after something else is incomprehensible. In leaving Merlin in a place where the next point was uncertain, the writers left the story open for us. In depriving us of that catharsis, they effectively made sure that the story would never be over, not until we want it to be. And yes, it was painful. I can't think of an ending that was more heartbreaking than that curious mixture of closures and openings all at the same time (hell, I could write a whole essay based on this concept alone!), but it was also a gift, ironically like that of the prophecy itself in that we can choose what we want to do with it, safe in the knowledge that there will be a happy ending again, one day.

In summary, we might not be left with catharsis in the way we wanted. We might not have got the happy ending that could also have stretched on and on indefinitely. But we were left with something else, something equally beautiful as closure, but in the complete opposite way. Amongst the remains of allwe had hoped to build, Merlin left us hope.

[vemuabhi]

Disney Romance - Cinderella’s Bird - 200 followers special

@littlesniggy​ said : Hey you! Now it's my turn to request something! Kida sad you don't write for Akainu but I can understand 😂 He's an asshole! If it hasn't been requested yet, would you do Mulan/Cinderella with Kid x female reader? I'm super excited which one you choose/ if you choose it at all! Thank you!

A/N : Omg thankyou so much for sending an ask @littlesniggy​ san!!! I am so excited to answer this for you! I loved writing for the grumpy boy. This was really a beautiful experience writing this for Eustass KIdd. Please don’t have high expectations for this.

Warning : A big fic written by me. But has a happy ending.

Word count : 2.7K

I hope you like it!

XOXOXOXO

“Why the hell should I get married now?”, you complained to your Robin who always was beside you, she was a maid but you always admired her and always treated her like a friend not like a maid.

Robin sighed and patted your head as she took the place beside you on the bed. “I should have the choice when I want to get married. Not some jerk who is randomly selected by my parents”, you scoffed and plopped back on the soft burgundy-coloured bedsheets. Robin gave you a sad smile and said, “That’s true. I too believe that marriage should be for Love”

Being a princess isn’t easy. Every girl dream to be a princess but its not as beautiful like the fairy tales are. You are a live example for that. Not once you could decide for yourself. Even the big puffy yellow gown you were wearing was not of your choice. The corset was killing you inside. You wanted to rip it off and throw it out of your window. With language classes, you always had dance classes, tea sessions, music classes. Everything that was chosen by your parents, was practically forced upon you.

‘What kind of lunatic needs to learn how to drink tea?’, you cursed the tea sessions when ever you were being called to it. All you did was brew tea and drink during the whole time. The music classes were always a hectic. You wanted to learn an instrument but when you were given another. Your wishes were denied because who cares about your dreams? In the beginning even dance classes were troublesome, But you tried to put up with all those demands of your parents. In return they are now trying to get you married as soon as possible.

“I’m done with this Robin”, you spoke and got up. “I’ll do whatever I want”, your voice was stern and Robin was curious on what you were about to do.

“Cancel todays classes, I’ll be going to visit the town to relieve my stress”, you announced briskly walking towards the closet.

“Are you sure your highness? But how can you go alone? You must have someone wit-”

“Robin! Its fine. I can take care of myself”, you didn’t let her finish her sentence. Throwing your corset on the floor and dressing up like a maid didn’t take long enough. You made your way towards the secret passage in the palace and exited the palace. Even though Robin was worried, she had to stay back in the castle to make sure no one notices your leaving.

The town and the market were as lively as ever and you walked around the place. As you kept walking, you saw a couple who looked very much in love. You felt a bit envious of them. At least the commoners had the freedom to do what they like. As you were walking aimlessly in the market, you bumped into a tall buff guy.

“Oh I’m sorry”, after apologising you thought of leaving but it didn’t go well.

“Hey! How can you go away like that?” the man started to fight with you. As you felt the very heavy scent of alcohol hit your nostrils, you knew that this man was heavily drunk.

“What? I apologised so what’s your problem now?” you questioned as your dominant hand slowly reached for the sword hidden in your skirt.

“You bitch how dare you speak back to me?” he raised his hand to land a hit on you but just when you were about to take out the sword, his had was stopped mid-air. You then saw a man who had red hair. As soon as the jerk saw that man, it seemed like his senses came back to him again.

“Asshole! Didn’t I tell you this is my shop and never make a scene in front of it”, the man shouted at the rogue twisting his arm. He winced in pain as he apologised and ran away.

The red haired man went into a shop, what seemed like a shop of vegetables and fruits. ‘Was he a farmer?’, you thought and followed him. Looking inside, there were so many fresh vegetables and also fruits in the shop.

“What do you want?”, a sharp voice questioned making you turn towards the owner of the voice. It was the same red head from before.

“Uh, I… I’m here to buy”, you said and looked around again trying to seem convincing. He huffed and sat on a chair fiddling with something which seemed like a machine. Your interest perked up and you asked him, “What are you making?”, moving closer to take a peek at the machine.

“Why should I tell you?”, he spat but as he looked at your face, he noticed that your eyes were sparkling with curiosity and interest.

“Tsk”, he clicked his tongue and explained about the way he wanted to make a machine bird as you listened to him carefully. He kept telling you how helpful machines would be if used in the correct way.

“But, don’t you think, this material you are using to make this bird is kinda… cheap and looks like its gonna break soon?”, you questioned for which he frowned and replied, “Don’t you think I already know that? I… I just don’t have the money”, mumbling the last part.

“Oh! I got an idea. Listen to me, uhh..”

“Eustass Kidd”

“So, Kidd As this bird is still in the beginning process, I’ll bring you the material tomorrow. Till then don’t touch this. Okay now I need to leave. I’ll be taking this basket here”, you said and took a basket of strawberries and tossed a coin to him.

“HEY WAIT!! YOU DIDN’T EVE- and she’s gone”, still with that grumpy look Kidd took his screw driver to continue working on the bird. But he remembered you telling him to wait till tomorrow. So he sat back in his chair and exhaled.

“Its not because she told me to wait. I… I want to continue this tomorrow”, he huffed and folded his hands. Then he remembered about the coin you threw.

He opened his palm and his eyes widened as he looked at the coin. It was a gold coin. A freaking gold coin for a basket of strawberries.

“No way. What the heck is she thinking?”, he carefully placed it back in the locker and thought to give it back to you tomorrow.

At the castle you came back and continued with your remaining day. You should leave tomorrow. So you need to make plans.

“Robin I need you to do something for me”, you explained how you needed high quality metal and also the timings of classes to be shifted. So, it did happen and you had continuous morning classes without breaks but, you were a free after them and it made you to take material Kidd wanted to make the bird. Changing out from your attire of a princess you went to the same shop as yesterday. There you found the man coming towards you as if he was waiting for you all along.

“I got the material you need”, you said as you placed it beside his table where the bird was supposed to be made.

“Were you waiting for me? Sorry I was late”, you said and he instantly replied, “Wha- Who was waiting for you?”

“Ah ok”, you muttered as you saw him instantly looking and taking the material with a faint pink shade on his cheeks. He looked just like a child exited to play with his toys.

“Where the hell did you even get these? These are clearly expensive?”, his sudden questions made your thoughts to break.

“Ah… I got it from the Kings dumpster”, you made the blankest expression trying to hide your lie.

“Kings Dumpster?! The King threw away this metal when it’s like this?”, he asked as his brows raised when you just nodded.

“Tsk… and here I am, trying to get re-rid of rust from metal. Using them for the 100th time”, he huffed.

You both sat opposite to each other and he worked on the bird as you learned about the work he was doing. Helping him with giving the appropriate tool at times, you had more fun than you ever had in your life. He tried to return the gold coin but you didn’t take it and made a deal to take vegetables or fruits in return, for which he agreed. You both fist bumped as an agreement of the deal.

From that day, you made your way out of the castle to meet Kidd. Surprisingly, he always waited for you to come to work on the bird. Meanwhile he somewhere started to call you little lady and you actually liked it. It became a routine for you to take a basket of veggies or fruits every time you left the shop. Sometimes he’d you’d tag along with him to his small farm. He was totally proud of his farm. His eyes showed it. Where you knew you never felt that feeling that he was feeling. Never once in your life you felt you were proud of something you did. He was living a complete different life than yours. You found your heart skip a beat every time Kidd smiled. You liked him.

Kidd was unique. He was terrible in showing his emotions but he was a good person. Every time you left the castle for him, seemed right. You actually felt happy seeing him and working with him. But of course, this happiness didn’t last long. Your parents wanted you to get married soon and told you to pick a groom for yourself in the ball that is going to be hosted next week. Bloody next week.

Because of the ball, you had to take even more classes for walking like a princess and also more fashionistas coming to find the perfect gown for you. Due to those, you couldn’t meet Kidd for 4 days.

Meanwhile, Kidd waited for you staring at the front door of his shop. Whenever the door opened, he met with disappointment because it wasn’t you. He couldn’t even continue on his bird. He had doubts on his feelings for you but now, it was clear for him that he liked you. Your thoughts haunted him. His heart earned for you. Only for you to return.

After a long hard day of work, you sneaked out of the castle in the evening and went to Kidd’s shop. You opened the door and your eyes met with Kidds. You both stared at eachother for a few seconds before he spoke.

“Come in”, you obliged and walked into the shop towards the desk where you both made bird. It was just like it was 3 days ago. “You didn’t continue to make the bird?”, you inquired as he just turned away and shook his head as he scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.

“Kidd, its late and I have to leave soon so listen to me”, his vision shifted to you as he gulped.

“But you just came, why do you have to leave?” he asked as he approached you and placed his hands on your shoulder.

“Aww did you miss me?” you tried to tease him but this time, he neither denied nor looked away from you blushing. He stayed silent for a while before he said, “I did”

You didn’t even expect that from Kidd. His hands travelled down from your shoulders to your hands. “I did miss you. So much that I couldn’t even touch that bird”, He looked serious. He placed one hand on your chin and looked into your eyes.

“I didn’t… I didn’t think your thoughts would haunt me that much when you didn’t come. I… I didn’t know when, why or how. But I know that, I have feelings for you little lady”, his voice trembled as he spoke the last bit.

“Kidd are you serious?” you asked placing a hand on his cheek. He leaned into your touch and nodded. His eyes looked desperate for your answer. Pulling him towards you, you connected your lips with his. The kiss was gentle and with so much of emotion.

Both pulled away to look into each other’s eyes. “I have feelings for you too Kidd”, you smiled and Kidd’s face lit up making you smile in return. He leaned and touched your forehead with yours and exhaled with relief. “Can I request you something Kidd?”, you asked and he nodded.

“Can you come to the castle this coming Wednesday?”

“To the castle? Why?”

“There is a ball going to be held and I want you to come”, you said and stepped back, away from his touch. “Now it’s my turn to wait for you, I should tell you something. So please come”, the last part sounded more like a pleading and with that you left the shop.

Kidd didn’t knew why you had to leave so early. His heart was beating so fast. Confused whether whatever happened now was real or not. He sat on his chair unable to remove your pleading face from earlier. Kidd looked at the bird which was unfinished and took the screw driver to continue working on it. Its been a while since he alone worked on something. It wasn’t a new feeling for him but still, he preferred to talk and have you around while he made it.

The day of the ball arrived. You wore your outfit and looked out the window at the crowd of people came to the castle. Men and women from so many places arrived there. With the help of Robin you made sure that when Kidd comes, he wouldn’t be stopped by any of the guards. The time was almost running out. The first dance was supposed to be started soon but you couldn’t find Kidd anywhere.

Your parents were urging you to find a partner and start the first dance. ‘So Kidd isn’t coming’, you thought and tilted your head up to prevent the tears falling out from your eyes. You pinched your skin trying to distract the pain away. Stepping on the ball room in your burgundy coloured dress, you walked with a straight face. Then suddenly your eyes fell on a person, who was trying to not be visible in the crowd but, his hair was definitely saying otherwise. You swiftly made your way towards that person.

People cleared way for you and it didn’t take long for you to meet the person with the red hair. He was wearing golden coloured suit and his hair was combed back neatly. He looked different but it was him. His cheeks turned the same colour of his hair. You chuckled and took his hand, pulling him towards the middle of the ball room. You placed your hands on his shoulder and pulled him closer to you. His hand trembled before he placed it on your waist. With that the music played and you both danced, with other people also dancing.

“Why didn’t you come to me?”

“How could I? You are a princess and why didn’t you tell me you were a princess?”

“Would you even talk to me like you did if you knew I were a princess?”

“That’s… true but… now here I am, with the princess Y/N in my arms”, he said pulling you closer. You giggled and pushed back the strand of hair which was on his forehead. You both smiled at each other and continued dancing. After the first dance, he pulled you away from the ball room and you followed. He walked towards the garden where no one was and took out something from under the bench.

“What did you bring?”, you asked. He turned and showed it to you. Your eyes went wide looking at the bird that he brought.

“You made her at last!” you exclaimed as he looked down shyly. “Yeah kind of made it. I wanted to show it to you today”

“I love it so much”, you said as you took it in your hands. It was your memory. The time you spent making it with Kidd. It was precious to you two.

“Keep it. It’s yours now”, he said as he smiled.

“Really?! I will take care of it so well”, you replied and jumped on him making him catch you quickly. You looked at him and leaned in for kissing him again. Now, it was passionate. No one to intrude as you were alone. Smiling you pulled back and leaned your forehead with his.

You now found a grumpy man, who would understand you and would really be the reason for you to smile.

Made with picrew

XOXOXOXO

I hope you liked it. Thankyou for reading.

A comment, Like/Vote, Reblog/Share would be appreciated!!

Follow for more

[generallypo]

in all sincerity, kim dokja makes me happy and he deserves to be so too :^(

incoherent yelling and sobbing under the cut. these fEELINGS will not be contained aaauuunnghhh. 

------

anyway i binge-read all 500+ chapters of ORV this week and i honest to god feel bad for this -- completely! fictional! aghhhh -- guy. in case you haven’t figured it out, the following is some spoilerly shit

i went in expecting a fun, brainless power trip fantasy for dudes with an isekai addiction. instead, it turns out ORV is actually a gigantic, self-deprecating prank on the entire genre itself. kdj plays more into the sad -- if high-functioning-- clown trope than the sexy, edgy, chuuni bastard type i was prepared to laugh at. there were -- gasp! -- female characters with personalities! parents (aka ADULTS who act like ADULTS) who actually survive and feature prominently! adorable children! a real sexy, edgy bastard! a power trio with amazing fashion! sexual tension and bickering! friendship! life and death bonding! 

*breathes in deeply* fouND FAMILYYYYYYY.

like, yeah, the plot around the first few arcs seems a little aimless, but the buildup is worth. the world-building is pretty decent. there’s discernible effort put into the fight scenes, and i can appreciate that. but -- but! what i stayed for were the characters -- namely, the fantastic OT3 of KDJ, HSY, and YJH -- who come together despite their initial rivalries and end up saving each other’s asses, like, every other day. granted, the other characters don’t get as much focus, and they do fall into certain character tropes.. 

but a trope done well is nothing i would gripe about. every significant character in ORV has a coherent, and more importantly, respectful take on their respective trope. maybe it’s because sing-shong is actually a married couple, but all the interactions between even minor characters are a convincing blend of awkward rambling, suggestive humor, sharp remarks, and casual banter. in other words, this cast of mostly working adults (plus a teen and two kids) talks like working adults. the relationships built throughout the story are, frankly, some of most realistic of its genre. sing-shong has managed to craft a dynamic that undoubtedly brims with fluffy fondness all around, but also drips with sarcastic tension, with unspoken urgency, with a wariness that softens into sincerity over the course of many, many chapters. it’s the kind of progression that makes even stock characters read like more than just the 2-bit villain or comrade or love interest. here, we have relationships both straightforward and not, strained or otherwise, romantically-oriented as well as decidedly the opposite -- and then numerous others scattered along the spectrum with the freedom to shift either way. 

it’s also an interesting point of note that our MC kdj actually does not end up with a stated romantic partner, much less a conventional heteroromantic harem. he gets teased about that fact from time to time, but it’s with less of the sleazy shonen locker room humor one would expect and more of the good-natured ribbing you’d find among friends or that one especially nosy auntie at the yearly family reunion. kdj is a grown ass man. in the background, i applaud his maturity, and he handles all the prodding like a champ. 

so instead of finding and fulfilling his horny, he builds himself a wealth of loving family. yeah, there are beautiful men and women around him. yeah, they unequivocally adore him. but they’re also adults, and they have priorities, too -- which are not so much finding a way to bang kdj’s brains out and more so simply keeping the damn guy alive. this is truly not ‘oblivious mc with his thirsty, sex kitten harem’. it just so happens that a guy proves himself to be unflinchingly gentle and capable in an apocalyptic setting despite his broken self-esteem, and lots of people find that attractive, romantically and platonically. 

it.. kinda makes sense? he’s a hard worker, thoughtful, and good with kids. kdj is the kind of guy you know would make a reliable partner, and anybody with eyes can plainly see and appreciate that. 

and it’s not that our MC’s a total brick wall. in fact, it’s likely the opposite, and he’s just too darned repressed to admit it. from what has been implied, kdj does indeed recognize and accept love, or at least a primitive concept of it. i like to imagine that the kind of love that he ends up seeking out simply manifests itself more easily as acceptance and safety, as warmth and a home of people to return to every day. even better, the people who surround him know this, and they give him exactly that. it’s refreshing, and honestly, really sweet.

(as a side note, i really, really do appreciate the cosmic bi energy radiating off of kdj, who canonically earns the title of being loved by all and is all but in name married to yjh and hsy. he also respects women and small children and honestly anyone who isn’t total scum to him or his family. i respect that.)

but the happy stuff aside, you know it it just ain’t ORV without the generous screaming dollop of angst. admittedly, there’s self-sacrifice, injury, lonesome wandering, more sacrifice, some epic fighting, reunion and confrontation. all of it is a lot to digest, sure, but never does it feel entirely hopeless, or truly, truly heart-clenching. ORV, up until the final act, is a mostly light read. you relax in your chair, thinking that nothing beyond this point can disturb you. 

yeah fucking right.

------

and then the beginning of the end arrives. when the squad finally break through to their ‘ending’, the scene that kind of breaks me is the reveal of the Most Ancient Dream. it ties so much thematically into the little tidbits that we get of kdj’s past, and it though it feels like almost a joke that the source of the goddamn apocalypse is a kid with bruises smeared across his skinny ass body -- it’s such a pathetic picture that it’s kinda poetic, actually. you’re left mystified but somewhat convinced, like a math problem explained halfway through. this.. child.. is a villain somehow, isn’t he?

and then 999th turn uriel speaks up, and she. just. hugs him. 

[[You are this universe’s most powerless existence, aren’t you.]] 

that. that gets me. kdj’s reaction immediately upon this revelation? absolute murder. seeing him essentially self-destruct upon realizing that all these people he’s surrounded himself with -- some who continuously proclaim their loyalty and affection for him throughout their journey, some who suffered eons of war and loss and trauma because of his existence -- not only forgive his younger self but smother him with unconditional acceptance and love is stifling, is too vulnerable and exposed and he simply can’t cope -- it’s so telling of his true mentality, of his crippling insecurity and crumpled sense of self-worth. kim dokja is a liar, through and through, so much that he fails, or perhaps refuses, to comprehend the veracity of others’ kindness and love towards himself. 

by some miracle, the events at the end of the world somehow resolve.. or so it seems. there is a departing train, a liberated team of ex-gods, and a child rousing from his slumber. in the aftermath, i am left shaking. somehow, despite the ending having been (happily?) reached, there’s still another chapter ahead. what is this witchcraft?

------

and then ah, yes -- the epilogue arc. i teetered on the edge of being critical for a little bit there -- is that display of deus ex machina, of sad, self-sacrificing nobility a bit too egregious to be acceptable? is this some wild last let-me-yank-this-outta-my-ass plot twist to drag out the chapter count? i sincerely thought that the arc before it would have been the finale. i was wrong. thank god.

anyways, as an answer to the above: no, and no. i stake my firm claim on the belief that the epilogue arc was meticulously planned out well in advance of its release, confusing and time-warpy as it is. i liked it. tremendously. even if it entirely invalidates all of kdj’s supposed development (”haha lol yeah sure i won’t sacrifice myself or anything anymore guys don’t worry about me” -- KDJ, at some point because he’s a lying rat bastard). actually, our beloved MC disappears for a large chunk of this arc, and i think it’s great. in his absence, the other characters not only go absolutely fucking nuts, but they have to figure out this new problem on their own, even if the lure of peaceful complacency in the newly saved Korea might convince them otherwise. 

and then the whole time paradox thing comes around. yjh goes to space, hsy saves the only life she can, and kdj grows up. the crew waits, holding onto their hope even if it bleeds them dry. sing-shong does a damn good job of illustrating their fraying calm, their lurking madness, the unseen but pervasive depression that seeps in from kdj’s absence. the kids lose their father, lhs and jhw lose their reliable leader figure, ysa loses a best friend and confidant, lsk -- as distant as she pretends to be from her son -- loses her only child. and then there’s hsy and yjh , who are essentially bereft of the other half of their existences. their pain is palpable, is grounded in the hopeless, gnawing frustration of an utterly meaningless victory. emotionally, ORV hits all the right -- if agonizing -- beats.

however, a story can’t sustain itself just through its pathos. i’m happy to say that ORV doesn’t drop the ball after the first milestone, and after all the hurt, the characters do leap straight back into action. even better, the plot holes actually do get patches, and the poetic cycle of writer, protagonist, and reader comes full circle by making use of all those supposedly throwaway characters from the myriad world lines. 

at the end of the road, there is a distinct sense of unity, of a delicate but undeniable cohesion to the world lines and their origins. sing-shong lets us guess a little here at the finish, but there’s just enough information to feel hopeful. maybe there never had been a definite start -- or finish -- to the story of kdj company, and... that’s okay. everybody ends up where they were meant to be, where they fought and struggled to reach. it’s.. almost like a happily ever after, if we’re allowed to dream of that.

------

now, i realize, this was all an orchestrated maneuver.

i’ll take it.

to me, all of this work sounds like someone put some serious thought into this behemoth of a plot. it cements the entire original premise of the story. it suggests -- but never explicitly confirms! -- the possibility that breaking free of the cycle is possible through the exact same system that sustains it. it’s terribly interesting -- and inspirational! with all the dramatic revelations and life-threatening scenarios  and the cast’s resigned acceptance of them that essentially make up ORV’s entire mood, there’s still that last hint of rebellious and righteous anger that lights up the whole damn nebula. it’s like the kdj company blasting away at the heavens just to yell into the nether: we’re not looking for the happy end, but the free one. stay alive.

it’s subtle, and yet it’s such an emotional gut punch. i came away with the most ruinous, frustrating, bittersweet sense of longing in ages. i pined. for these fictional darlings. god, i am weak.

so. yeah. ORV is pretty good. flawed, but ambitious and impressively thought out.  i’m stoked that the webtoon is making pretty good progress, even if it’ll take an eternity and a half to meet that monstrous chapter count. i’m still gonna follow it. hell yeah. 

------

(by the way the idea that secretive plotter and co are literally gonna take care of and raise baby kdj and spoil him and be the best friggin family a kid could ever want does things to me. protect him. he’s suffered too much. let at least one worldline’s version of him know happiness. and actually, aLL OF THEM DESERVE DOMESTIC BLISS TOGETHER IN A BIG OL MANSION WITH SUN AND FRESH AIR AND TENDER FAMILY MOMENTS UGH)

------

and there you have it, folks. you made it to the end. in the far, far distance, i’m cheering you on and crying my eyes out in gratitude. thanks for tuning in!

[thatsassyhufflepuff]

Hello!

It is currently past midnight. I decided to make a post where I’d put all my favorite Dramione quotes so I can look back on them and squeal. That’s all.

✨✨✨

1. “You love fighting with me just as I love fighting with you, that’s why we do it so well.” He smirked down at her and pressed a kiss to her lips. “This house is just as much yours as it is mine, I’m sorry I made you feel anything less than that.” His thumb traced the edges of her lips before she reached up and took his hand in hers.”

2. “Hey, hey, none of that.” He gently admonished, “Granger, I can’t tell you whether or not we moved in too soon. I can say that this feels right, waking up with you, going to bed with you, even cleaning up all the hair you shed in the shower- how are you not bald? I am convinced your hair has magical properties all on its own-'' He grunted when she smacked him in the side. “What I mean is Granger, I want you for a long time, longer than I’ve ever wanted anyone else if I’m being honest. I’d have been kidding myself if I thought falling in love with a swotty pain in the arse Gryffindor would’ve been easy.”

Transformation

happy_valley

—

1. “Expecting a challenge--some tired but emphatic refusal to take Muggle medicine--I braced myself for the inevitable argument. He turned his head to my hand resting on his shoulder, kissed a knuckle, and went back to sleep.

I didn't stop shaking until I reached the Boots.”

2. “and given how I feel about you, you'd think I'd do everything in my power to ruin your marriage. Having him believe it was you acting on his behalf, seizing an opportunity that was tailor-made for him will not get me what I want. Sadly, the opposite is also true. I know you don't believe me, but I actually thought making him happy would make you happy.”

3. “I am not most women," I pointed out. "Hence the slapping."

"No, I admit they broke the mold when they made you. That's why I'm absolutely madly in love with you. Head over heels. Dizzy with desire. Crazy--”

4. “He shrugged and his mouth flattened into a line. "It's been a grim few months. I'm only human. Have I told you that I love it when you're stern with me? Your mouth gets all prissy and adorable. Like you've eaten a sweet lemon. A silly metaphor but somehow apt." He pursed his lips”

5. “Someday I hope you'll look at me, and I won't see that half-second of disgust with which your gaze always greets me. Anyway, it's not true. I want you because I love you.”

6. “He kissed me on the forehead and then despite his previous admission, he wrapped me in an embrace, his breath hot against my ear. "I love you. I know you don't believe me, but I do. And aside from the fact you are beautiful and smart and articulate and sexy, most importantly, you're the only person I know who has the guts and determination to stop me from becoming my father."

The Politician's Wife

pir8fancier

—

1. “After what felt like a lifetime and at the same time a split second, they parted, gazing into one another’s eyes with the passion they both felt. Hermione’s eyes implored him to say what she wanted him to say – that this wasn’t the end, that they would have another chance, that he wouldn’t give up – but he couldn’t lie to her. He would never lie to her.”

2. “Hermione just stared at the floor, biting her lip and feeling as though every dream she had ever had had been crushed. Maybe it had. “I wanted to save you,” she whispered, finally meeting his gaze. “I wanted to save you.”

Draco stepped forward, taking one moment more to touch her face with the back of his hand and memorize the deep brown of her eyes. “You did,” he said simply.

And there was no more to be said”

3. “Draco didn’t let her finish. His hands cradled her head as he kissed her, softly as first just like the night before, and then harder, with more passion and intensity. She returned the kiss with everything in her might, trying to say what she wanted to say – “I love you” – without words”

4. “She wasn’t going to give up though. Hope was in front of her now, and she had almost been afraid that such a thing was lost to her forever. Draco may have given up on saving himself, but Hermione wasn’t about to do the same. She loved him – that she knew for sure – and she was going to make sure Draco got his second chance.

She’d die before she let anything tell her otherwise.”

5. “I’m not leaving without you,” she said firmly. He didn’t reply, just set his mouth in a firm line. She wished she could make him feel what she felt – a certainty that this wasn’t the end for him, that she was going to fight until her last breath to give him the freedom he had suffered for. She wanted to reach out and hold him, to cradle his face in her hands and tell him that they would make it to the end together.

“This is your time, Hermione,” he said, reaching out and taking one of her hands in both of his. “This is what you’ve been waiting for.”

“It’s your time, too,” she said, and she hoped she sounded as confident as she felt. “This is your second chance.”

6. “Draco gave her an imploring look, gripping her upper arms and forcing her to look right into his eyes. “Hermione, you know how I feel. I’ve never told you, but you must know. So when I tell you that dying for you and your cause and my cause is the closest I’ll ever get to being whole again, believe me.” He paused, reaching his hand up to push the straggling bangs out of Hermione’s eyes. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Hermione Granger, and I can never thank you enough. So just let me help you in the only way I know how.”

7. “Hermione could feel tears forming in her eyes, and she quickly reached up to pull Draco into her arms. He held onto her tightly, trying to memorize every detail of her for the last time. When they pulled away, Draco swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked into her warm brown eyes. There’s never enough time for us.”

8. “You may not have forgiven yourself,” Hermione whispered to him, laying her face against his shoulder as he shook with sobs. “But we already have. One day, you’ll learn to see yourself the way we do.”

Bittersweet and Strange

UndiscoveredQueen19

—

“Hermione, I love you." She didn't smile, she didn't say anything back either. She just kept looking up at him. He wondered she even heard him. He knew it was wrong to say it in this moment, but he didn't know if either of them would survive. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you until now. But I love you. So much." He kissed her forehead.”

A Future Uncertain

LightsWrites

—

“Suddenly, Draco laughed, a bitter, self-deprecating laugh. “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you? Well, I guess it’s the least I owe you.”

He leaned closer to her, looking straight into her eyes, and she suddenly felt the urge to draw back and run away. She made herself sit still.

“I love you, Hermione. I think I have for a long time,”

Seven Years and a Day

Dark Rose

—

“She was half expecting him to just walk through the door but Draco surprised her when he suddenly turned around and returned to her side. She lifted an eyebrow but before she could say anything, Draco drew her into a hug.

“Goodnight.” His whisper tickled her ear.

She could barely return his hug when Draco pulled away with an impish grin. She knew he knew she was going to think of him for the rest of the night. ‘Darn it. Bloody Draco Malfoy.”

A cornucopia of noncoincidences

muffin_reverie

—

“Draco..." She felt a little uneasy.

"I love you." He had said it before, but the words had never sounded so fierce. "I won't let him hurt you.”

Alternate History

Furare

—

“You’re beautiful and compassionate and funny and… I know you probably hear it all the time but you’re brilliant and I plan on telling you that every bloody day. You make me want to buy a shop and sell potions and make my own way in this world doing something I love and something I excel at, but it’s more than that it’s… it’s…”

She waited him out.

“It’s bells on a hill with you, Granger.”

Bells on a Hill

HeyJude19

—

1. “Draco opened the door the rest of the way and pulled her into his arms; he held her tightly as if he would never let her go, as if he could push all the hurt away. She could feel his heart beating and its constant rhythm soothed her, as did the steady rise and fall of his chest. Gradually her sobs slowed, then stopped. She pulled away from him, wiping her eyes.

"Do you want us to stay?" he asked quietly. She shook her head, and he tilted her chin so their gaze met. "Hermione, will you be okay today? Tell me the truth. I hate that we're leaving you alone today."

She looked into his eyes and saw deep concern and worry. "Yes," she said weakly. "Thank you."

Draco wrapped her in his arms again, then released her and leaned down and kissed her forehead. "See you soon." He turned and left her standing there before he lost the ability and the resolve to leave.”

2. “Harry scrunched his nose in distaste. "How can you watch that rubbish?"

"It's actually really good, Potter."

"Whatever." Harry studied Hermione. She looked so peaceful that it hurt him to think of what was ahead for her, for all of them, really. "She's beautiful."

Draco looked at her as well, and without thinking about what he was doing, said, "Yeah, she is.”

3. “Hermione scowled and continued to hit him, but stopped yelling. Draco carried her into the house, up the stairs, and into her room. He set her down on the bed. She tried to get up; he grabbed her wrists and held her down.

She struggled, but when she looked into Draco's eyes, she saw they were wet. She lay still, holding his gaze.

"Don't make me Immobilize you."

She nodded. He released her wrists and took one of her hands in his. "I promise to come back, if you promise to stay," he said softly.”

4. “He kissed her with everything he had, all the fear, longing, pain, and joy he felt. He kissed her because he was scared to die, and he too wanted to see where this would go. He kissed her because of the secrets he kept from her, willing her to trust him, to believe him, to know that he would tell her. He told her he loved her, he would do anything for her, would die for her, would even try to live for her.”

We Learned the Sea

floorcoaster

—

1. “You are mine, Hermione, I don’t want anyone mistaking you for single again or even thinking of trying to coax you away from me.” He laid his hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip. “Granger…Hermione…I love you.”

2. “The look of shock on her face matched his own. He hadn’t meant to say that, hadn’t even realized that he had those feelings for her, that he would recognize them as such. He was in unfamiliar waters and suddenly scared to death. He meant them, he loved her, and it terrified him because he had never loved anyone before.”

Something In the Way She Moves

Snapes_Godess

—

“Draco leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together and nuzzled her nose.

“Take it. Take my heart, and take the remainder of my soul as well. You can even filet my heart and crush my soul if you wish. It doesn’t matter, since in actuality, they’ve probably been already yours to break for a very long time.”

5 am, waking up

mysterious_intentions

—

“The deflated bits of his countenance inflated with her admission, until he felt as though he would float through the air. Moving his hands along the curves of her sides, he pulled her flush against his chest. "I love you, Hermione."

The admission left him in a single breath, causing Hermione to arch her back so that she could look him in the eye. She searched his depths, seemingly inspecting for any sign of deception. Finding none, a smile spread across her face. "I love you, too.”

I Carry Your Heart

TheMourningMadam

—

[21burritoseavey]

Like Everybody Else - daniel seavey imagine

a/n: I hope you like this, i didn’t want to make it too sad lol. Also, kinda random but how many of you use :), :( or :/ in texts? cos I do. Let me know what you think.

Song: Lennon Stella, Like Everybody Else

Run fast, run away, run straight into the loneliness

It isn't only home I miss

 “How's tour?” Y/n asked excitedly, taking a seat on the cushioned floor next to Anna. 

 Daniel smiled gently, “It’s...great.” Daniel spoke gingerly. “It would be so much better if you were with me” He continued easily. 

 “Aww, Dani” Y/n’s cheeks flushed bright pink at his sweet words, and she giggled timidly. 

 “Aww, you two are just the cutest” Anna said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes. Him and Y/n chuckled lightly on opposite ends of the FaceTime call. 

 “How are you two doing then?” Daniel asked with a tight smile. 

 “We’re doing great! Keri’s gonna take us snowboarding tomorrow with your family!” Y/n spoke positively. Daniel’s eyes lingered fondly on Y/n’s. He happily relished in the feeling of love that played in her toothy smile and soft gaze. 

 Daniel’s blurry, muddled mind cleared as memories of past family adventures emerged at the sight of innocent kids playing in the distant snow from out the window. The snow fell as gracefully as feathers. 

 Daniel turned back to his phone after what seemed like ages. “That’s great. I’m glad you’re having so much fun.” He said quietly. “I miss you guys so much.” He breathed, his voice slightly wavering. The girls didn’t notice the slight sadness etched in his voice. He rushed to end the call, not wanting to fall apart in front of them. “I gotta go. I love you guys!” He rushed out before hanging up. He tossed his phone to the edge of his bunk and set his face in his hands morosely. 

 Like the night all my friends got together

Heard about it afterwards

Didn't think was gunna hurt so much

Daniel trudged out of the interview room tiredly. His bandmates followed close behind with faces full of energy and voices dripping in excitement. The boys’ brand-new freedom allowed for tons of new adventures in the unexplored town and while the other guys almost sprinted out of the building, Daniel wanted nothing more than to be alone with his thoughts. He pulled out his phone from his back pocket and tapped Y/n’s name on messages nearly unknowingly, like it was muscle memory. “Daniel, come on, we’re waiting outside.” Jonah called gently from a few paces away. Daniel lifted his gaze and let a small smile play on his lips as he spoke. “Yeah, just a sec.”

 “Hi” He typed quickly, shuffling his feet slowly toward the elevator. His screen illuminated after a few seconds. 

 “Hey:)” Y/n responded. Daniel’s tense body relaxed at the simple message from his girlfriend, and he let the corners of his lips pull upwards to form a faint smile. 

 “What you up to?” He continued. A moment later he received a photo from Y/n and opened his hesitantly. The image loaded to reveal Y/n with a couple other friends of theirs. The dark atmosphere sparked his memory and he remembered Oscar’s birthday party. Their happy faces shone bright even in the nearly non-existent light of the club. Daniel’s smile faltered at the sight of them and he couldn’t help but feel a great amount of envy swallow his mood. He wanted them to be happy, but he wanted to be happy too. 

 “Daniel,” Jonah whispered sharply again. It was only at that moment that Daniel realised he had barely moved from his initial spot, and he chuckled lightly at his friend’s serious expression. He jogged over. “What’s got you so glum?” Jonah asked teasingly as they headed into the empty elevator. He turned back to see Daniel truthfully upset and his expression quickly broke. “What’s up, man?” He asked earnestly, setting a comforting hand on Daniel’s back. 

 “Y/n...and the others...” Daniel said simply, dropping his gaze to his pink sneakers. 

 Jonah looked a little bewildered. He narrowed his eyes, “What? What do you mean? Did they do something?” He rushed out. 

 “D-don’t worry about it.” Daniel dismissed with a gentle shrug. He averted his gaze to the sign above the door and watched it light up silently as they reached their floor. 

 Why if I'm doin' so well

Did I build a wall between me and the world?

Daniel was sitting up on his bunk bed, leaning against his single pillow with his legs stretched out and ankles crossed lightly. He was still dressed in his outfit - too tired of even changing into something comfier. He stared blankly at his Instagram timeline on his phone, scrolling mindlessly through photos etched with fun and adventure. The high, creaking noise of the door swinging open shot Daniel out of his faint trance, and he looked up expectantly. 

 “Hey, the guys and I are going out to dinner? Wanna come?” Zach asked, making his way further into the narrow hallway of the tour bus. Daniel shook his head lightly. 

“Nah it’s fine” He muttered as casually as he could. He felt a swell of emotion wash over him unexpectedly.

“You sure? You said no last week as well.” Zach asked, peeking a brow at the boy across from him. 

 “Yep” Daniel said quickly, swallowing back the lump in his throat. He pulled a tight smile, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach. Zach nodded gently, turning away towards the door, but just before he came to it, he looked over his shoulder one last time to Daniel. He let his eyes linger on his downcast eyes lit up by the screen in front of him before walking forwards and shutting the door behind him. 

 Daniel sighed in relief and dragged his palm over his face tiredly. He kicked off his shoes and watched them drop carelessly on the floor. He tugged the throw blanket at the foot of his bed closer and pulled it right up to his chin tightly, letting his eyes linger to the dark night sky aglow with city lights. He glanced at his cheery bandmates sauntering out of the bus and onto the footpaths with nothing but joy in their step. Daniel wanted to feel like them too, more than they could ever comprehend. 

 Been drilled in my head forever, be better, turns out

I'm just like everybody else

 Daniel burnt the midnight oil often. He usually found daytime band rehearsals too overwhelming to focus. His gentle piano playing broke the serene silence of the night, coaxing a beautiful, soothing melody until it was interrupted by the wrong note, caused by the slip of his finger. Daniel huffed deeply, resting his head aggressively on the keys in annoyance. It produced a muddled sequence of notes and Daniel felt the vibrations buzz through his head. He lifted his head, slouching back on the bench. He finally felt a great swell of anxiety drown his mind. The previous, harsh critiques from Randy reverberated in his head continuously and he couldn’t get his mind to stop spinning with self-doubt. 

 Daniel sighed deeply. He bit his lip in an attempt to stop his frustrated tears from pouring down his face. He looked around the empty and gloomy rehearsal room and let it all go. He hid his face in his hands tiredly while he cried. The dull ache in his heart was all he could think about, but he merely let himself feel the pain he thought he deserved. A few long minutes later, when Daniel thought he’d cried all the tears left in him, Daniel lifted himself up stiffly from the piano. He rubbed his temples gently before flipping the sheet music to the next page and continuing. 

 Don't even go near a mirror, it’ll kill ya

Trust me, you don't wanna see yourself

“Guys” A crew member came back into the dressing room. “You’ve got three minutes.” He reminded before rushing out into the hallway again. Daniel turned back to the mirror as he adjusted the cuffs of his dress shirt again. 

“Does this look alright to you?” He turned to Jack, pointing to his black and white suit. 

“Yeah,” Jack laughed lightly. “It’s fire...for the five - hundredth time” He joked, “why?” 

“Oh, I don’t know.” Daniel started, glaring over his shoulder to Jack again. “Maybe it’s ‘cause we’re going to a red-carpet event.” He said nervously. 

“Don’t sweat it, dude. We’ll be fine.” Jack reassured. 

Daniel nodded. His gaze persisted on the smudged, full length mirror standing in front of him. In truth, it wasn’t just his appearance he was worried about. It was also his talent. The thought of being in the presence of A list celebrities and artists he greatly admired sent everlasting shivers down Daniel’s spine. 

Fuck the noise, It's too late, It's the choices

Now I don't even wanna be someone

 “Dani.” Jack called gently from across the table. “Daniel.” He said blankly after a moment. 

 “Daniel.” Zach’s hand slammed hard on the table causing a loud thump to echo through Daniel’s whirling mind and he looked up from his downcast gaze to his bandmates cluelessly. “It’s your turn” Zach said, gesturing to the Monopoly board set on the table. 

 The dim light of the lamp casted a warm glow to the lounge room. Daniel sat lazily with his legs tossed on the coffee table. Daniel’s face broke into a soft smile. “Oh right. Sorry.” He chuckled. He leaned over, picked up the dice in one hand and rolled it. 

 “You okay, man?” Corbyn inquired honestly, eyes flickering to Daniel.

 “Yeah...you haven’t really…been here tonight.” Jonah asked carefully. His face was brimming with concern. Daniel’s gentle smile faltered, and his eyes wandered nervously before landing on his bandmates again.

“Y-yeah, yeah. I’m just tired.” He shrugged hesitantly, “don’t worry,” he added. He dropped his gaze back to the board and rested his chin in his hands. 

 That's nice, champagne, what a shame, It doesn't work on me

So don't go wastin' your money

Everybody in this room is too hard, too pretty, I'm tired

I just wanna be nobody

Daniel sat awkwardly at a circular table in the fancy, high end restaurant. The cacophony of polite chatter and clattering of fine cutlery filled his ears and he could barely focus on his own table’s conversation. “Daniel.” The sound of his name being called had Daniel diverting his stare to the older man opposite him. His sharp, strong features only complemented his staid personality. 

“Yes.” Daniel spoke as elegantly as he could. He tried not to let his nervousness peak through his calm facade and he wiped his slightly dampened forehead with the back of his hand. 

“Your managers over here tell me you’re quite the song writer.” He stated the faintest hint of a smile present on his lips. Daniel’s face flushed with nervousness. He cleared his throat with a slight chuckle and dropped his fork onto his plate. 

“I try my best.” He grinned. “But yea...I really enjoy it.” He finished shyly. He washed down the tension flooding his body with a sip of his champagne. 

The older man glared at Daniel before honestly saying, “you know, this opportunity is extremely selective. We only pick one applicant a year.” Daniel glanced at him expectantly, trying to ignore the tightening twist of his stomach. “There are many artists that enjoy writing.” He finished. 

“I understand-” Daniel tried but he was interrupted. 

“He’s a great writer, take it from me” Randy intervened swiftly. He shot a glare to Daniel before leaning his elbows on the table to converse gravely with the other man. Daniel reluctantly focused back on his nearly full plate - he barely ate because of his anxiety. He shoved a forkful of food into his mouth. 

What made me think I was special? I'm not special

Turns out I'm like everybody else

This song sounds exactly like 5SOS

They are just a like 1D

Their music sounds the same

Daniel typically took criticism with grace and modestly, but this time was different. The rims of his eyes were red from glaring at Instagram comments under his music announcement post for almost one hour straight. His fingers readily hovered over the word ‘reply’, prepared to sincerely explain how different his band’s songs were and how much work went into producing them. 

In the back of his mind, Daniel couldn’t help but believe their hurtful words. He set down his phone on the floor to the side in an effort to stop his mind from whirling out of control. He drew up his knees in embarrassment and hid his face against them tiredly. He let his anxiety-stricken face relax and tears flowed gently down his face. 

[didsomeonesaydaddydraco]

Light in the dark | Draco Malfoy one shot

Request: nope.

Word count: 1,987

Warning: mentions of slight ptsd

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

Draco saw it happening right in front of his eyes. The place, that he used to call home was in flames. The towers were he loved to hide when he wanted to be alone were in wrecks. Everywhere he looked, he saw injured and dead bodies. Bodies of his fellow school mates and professors. Bodies of innocent people who deserved nothing but the best in their life and now they were gone. Gone for something they believed in and fought for. They were heroes. He was gasping for air as he was running through the bodies and debris, looking for only one person who actually mattered to him. 

He was paralysed by the sight of the love of his life lying lifeless on the ground. He wanted to scream. He wanted to run to her and hold her small and cold frame in his arms, begging her to open her eyes and say that she is fine and she loves him. He needed to hear your voice and see her beautiful diamond eyes for one more time. He felt the whole world ending right there for him. He heard the muffled noises of his fellow schoolmates, crying in happiness that Lord Voldemort was gone. He heard people running around, searching for their friends and family. He didn’t care about the victory. For him, it was a defeat. He failed. He promised her he would protect her even if he had to pay with his own life. But it was her, who layed on the ground with scars over her beautiful porcelain like skin. He tried to move. He tried to take a step towards you, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t. 

“Y/N” he screamed in pain and fell to his knees when his body finally gave in. He sobbed and screamed, crawling to the body of his gone love “No no no. Please wake up, Y/N! Please my love” his voice cracked “Don’t leave me here…I need you, baby”

Y/N’s opened wide by the scream of Draco next to her. She was quick to sit up and turn on the light on the nightstand. She looked over at the boy, his body was covered in sweat and he was sobbing in his sleep. The sigh of him being in pain broke her heart. He was having another nightmare. 

“Draco” she said softly, gently stroking his hair first. She knew what she had to do. They had been dealing with his nightmares for years, even after the Battle of Hogwarts. She was by his side from the beginning when the nightmares started. She held him in his sleep while he cried and shook from fear. The dreams were worse when Lord Voldemort was still alive and had him in his palm. The reason why Draco was so scared of nightmares was because half of his dreams came true “Wake up, Draco”

He heard her voice. The soft voice that called his name with so much love. He felt the gentle touch of her fingers running through his hair to calm him down. Pure intentions to someone who didn’t deserve any of it from someone like her. He felt the pang of pain in his chest like his heart was ripped out of his body. He wanted nothing more than to talk to her one last time and tell her how much he loved her.

“Darling, it’s okay” she gently kissed his sweaty forehead and smoothed back his hair. She was scared that she won’t be able to wake him up from his nightmare. She feared that his nightmares would drown him “I’m here, Draco”

He felt like he was falling into an endless canyon. He waited for the falling to end and feel his body hurtle with the solid ground, ending his pain. But the redemption never came. His eyes widened. Draco sat up in his bed shaking. He needed a moment to recognise the place. He was in his room. He saw the shadows of the painting on the wall. He saw the armchair in the corner of the room with the still opened book which he was reading before bed. Finally, he recognised the sweet scent of vanilla mixed with rose petals. At first he thought his mind was playing a cruel game with him, but he felt the small hand that was softly touching his trembling one. 

“Y/N?” He looked at the girl next to him. She was looking at him with those beautiful eyes of her that he had fallen in love years ago. She softly smiled at him and nodded, reassuring that she was really there.

“You had a nightmare, my love” she touched his face and tried to calm him down “I’m right here, dear”

Draco was hot and sweaty from panicking. He wanted to cool off, but he was afraid to move. He was still confused whether he was still in his dream or he was really awake. He was telling himself that it was only a dream and she was alive and by his side. His ocean eyes were filled with fear and tears, looking at her, cherishing every single second he had with her. With a sudden movement, he pulled her body to his and rested his head on her shoulder. 

“I’m here” she stroked his back and kissed his neck. She wanted to cry. After all these years, he was still hunted by the memories of the Dark Lord and the battle. That night left a nasty scar on everybody. They were only children, who had to grew up too fast. Children, who had to kill for survival. They were fighting for their freedom and safety. They weren’t supposed to see their parents and friends die right in front of their eyes. Nobody was there to protect them. They had to protect what they believed in. 

She gently pulled away from Draco and pushed the duvet off of his hot body. Y/N stood up and guided him out of the bed, standing in front of him and taking off his sweaty shirt, throwing it on the ground. Draco let her do it. He was eagerly watching every move she made. Followed her body with his eyes as she went to his drawer and took out a fresh shirt for him to put on. He walked behind her to their bathroom and watched her turning on the shower, spraying lavender oil in the cabin. She didn’t make any sudden movement and she was quiet. She knew Draco had to wake up fully from his nightmare in his own speed. She walked up to him, looking at him with nothing but love in her eyes. Y/N stood on her tiptoes and kissed the corner of his lips, still being afraid how he would react to a direct touch. She held the eye contact with him and slowly pulled down his pyjama pants, letting it fall to his ankles.

“Come, darling” she took his hand and slowly pulled him under the water. Draco closed his eyes when the cool water touched his heated skin. They were standing under the shower, holding onto each other for dear life. He didn’t want to let go of her. He couldn’t. He was sure Y/N had no idea how important she really was for him. She was the only one standing between Draco and insanity. She was his very own anchor that held him steady when the waves came crushing down at him. She was his life jacket that kept him afloat from drowning. 

“It was just a dream” he finally managed to say something. His voice was raspy from crying and screaming in his sleep. His throat hurt as he talked and his mind was still numb from the dream.

“Yes” she gently kissed his chest and softly massaged his tensed muscles to help him relax. Draco felt the life coming back to his body and slowly melted into her careful touches. She poured a small amount of his shower gel in her hand and lathered it all around his body “I love you”

Those three words meant to world to Draco. He closed his eyes and with a small smile on his lips, he enjoyed his love taking care of him. During the battle, all he could think of was Y/N. He panicked when he couldn’t find her, and was terrified that he had to be the one who finds her lifeless body somewhere. He knew he was playing with fire when he agreed to help her with her plan. Draco admired her for her bravery. Just like him, she had no choice either. They were forced to become one of them and follow the Dark Lord’s orders. But she was smart and found a way to help the Golden Trio. Draco didn’t know for a long time what she was up to, but one night she told him about her plan. She was spying on Harry Potter and when she found out something about their next step, she said the exact opposite to the Death Eaters, so she could win some time for Harry and his friends. Draco knew if Voldemort learnt about her tricks, he would have killed her in a heartbeat. He was only relieved when they watched him die right in front of them, and he had Y/N shaking and tired body under his arm. 

“Open your eyes, Draco” she asked him. She didn’t want the dream replaying itself again for him. He needed to be awake and have this mind on something else than the past. He needed a distraction, and the best way was if they talked about their future together “What do you think about painting the living room dark green? The same colour the forest has that you like so much”

Draco smiled at the thought of their future house together. He already found the perfect place for it, and he absolutely loved to talk about how they would decorate it together, so both if their styles can be found in it. Their future together was one thing he was completely sure. He knew he wanted to marry her and spend his whole life with him. He never thought he could have a weakness for - not until he met her. Draco was certain he would have chose her in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality. He fall in love with Y/N, with the way she smiles, with how she smelt. He couldn’t think of one thing about her that he didn’t love. To Draco she was perfect and her flaws weren’t even flaws because he adored every single one of them. 

“I’d love that” he put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer “But I think we should go for lighter colours so our babies wouldn’t get scared because of the darkness. I don’t want them to grow up in a dark place like we had to” 

She kissed him deeply, telling everything she couldn’t with words. The love they had was a different kind. They went through Hell hand in hand. They got bruised mentally and physically. They fought side by side and faced the cruel world together. Their once bright and happy memories had a dark shadow hanging over them and thinking about their school years had a bittersweet aftertaste. Several years had passed since that brutal night, and they were still suffering from nightmares and the constant fear of the whole thing only had been a dream and Voldemort was still alive, planning to come back soon. But Draco knew, every time he looked at his other half, that as long as Y/N was there by his side, he was ready to face everything that was still waiting for them in life. She was his light in the darkness.

[anjanettexcordonia]

Secrets

Book: The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir A/U

Rating/Triggers: Mature (18+); domestic violence

Pairings: Drake x MC, Liam x MC (kinda) 

Word count: 1254 (+/-)

A/N: Please excuse any grammatical errors. 

A/N: I have been on a hiatus due to personal circumstances (Dumpster Fire 2021 comin at ya) but this is hopefully my comeback! Thanks for sticking with me! 

Disclaimer: Some characters & some scenes belong to Pixelberry. I have been working on this on and off since November 2020. Hope ya enjoy. 

Tags: If you would like to be added or removed please let me know. 

HUGE SHOUT OUT TO @txemrn (without her I would have never finished) & @jessiembruno for pre-reading (even if you don’t remember) 

Chapter 1

Liam sat alone at a small circular table with high backed cushioned stools in a pizzeria in New York City. He couldn’t ever visit New York without having an authentic slice of New York style pizza. He sat staring out the large picture window at the snow falling steadily. A large greasy slice of in front of him. He was consumed in his own feelings of loneliness and isolation when the silhouette of a figure caught his attention standing on the sidewalk. He squinted his eyes to try to get a better view through the falling snow. Liam watched as a petite raven haired woman with a white pea coat wrapped tightly around her attempted to hail a cab in front of the shop. A cab flew by her and spewed snow at her causing her to slip on the icy sidewalk beneath her. Liam jumped from his table and ran out the front door of the restaurant to help her. 

“Miss, are you okay?” Liam asked as he held out his hand to the beautiful dark haired woman. 

“Oh... uh... I’m fine. Thank you, uh, thank you for your help sir.” 

The woman replied brushing her long blue black tendrils from her face. She attempted to pull herself from the ground unsuccessfully without taking his hand. Liam hoisted her up by her elbow anyway. 

“I’m Liam.” His bright blue eyes shown through the moonlight drawing Alexa into them.

Alexa took a step back avoiding eye contact. “Liam, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

Liam nodded his head with a warm smile. A megawatt smile that would make any girl's heart skip a beat. Alexa’s breath hitched at the crooked smile he gave her. 

“Goodbye then.” Alexa turned and walked away in the opposite direction. 

Liam was intrigued by the woman. He felt a strange tingle down his spine when his eyes met hers. Those eyes. He had never seen anything like them. One eye a golden honey, the other ice blue with flecks of grey. He hoped to see her again; but, in this bustling city with the population of almost half of his small Mediterranean country, what were the chances of that? 

 Liam stood in silence, staring up at the Statue of Liberty. She was a beacon of freedom he could never fully grasp. At home, he was Heir Apparent to the throne of an absolute monarchy; his citizens kissed his feet in belief his bloodline was touched by God, like most kings of the past.  Unlike in his country, the United States of America, where every citizen was free to choose. Free to elect their leaders. Free to not feel the pressures of leading a country from birth. He hoped to be a good king one day. He hoped to establish a balance of power within his country without undermining its traditions. He hoped to lead his country to a constitutional monarchy, not absolute. He envied this country that was built on freedom. Who would he have been born here? Who would he be without the crown? He thought back to his childhood friend, the only American he really knew. He had met American diplomats, sure, but never knew much about them. Those mismatched eyes flash in his mind. The shiny dark curls that framed those beautiful eyes hidden deep in his mind. 

“Sir?” 

A voice startled Liam breaking his thoughts and snapping him back to reality. 

“Bastien?” 

Liam’s head of security had slinked from the shadows. 

“We found him, sir. I’ve contacted his secretary. Dinner is scheduled for tomorrow night.” The guard spoke in a stern yet soft voice. 

“Thank you, Bastien.” Liam’s thoughts returned to his former friend. 

Drake Walker was his best friend. They grew up together until Drake went off to college in America. Drake's mother was an American and his father was Cordonian. His father was a top military general in the King’s Guard. Jackson Walker, Drake’s father, was killed in the line of duty and his mother and sister went back to America after his tragic loss. They had promised to stay in touch after Drake left. Time ticked by and communication had dwindled. It had been five years since they had last spoken. Last Liam knew, Drake was still in New York. He had become a big shot real estate developer living on the Upper East Side. Bastien had tried to contact Drake after an assassination attempt on Liam’s life, but Drake never returned the call. 

Across town, Alexa was feeling anxious after her encounter with the kind stranger, Liam. If she had been seen conversing with a handsome man or any man for that matter her husband would not be happy, especially as handsome as he was. His smile and bright eyes flashed through her mind. She was rushing to get home before her husband. He wouldn’t be happy if she were late. Punctuality was very important to him, but only when it came to her. 

Alexa made it home just in the nick of time. She let out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t home yet. She was hoping he would be late. Alexa winced, peeling her coat from her limbs. She hung her coat on the coat rack. She threw her snow covered boots in the hall closet. She felt a stinging pain in her back when she bent down. She lifted her shirt in the hallway mirror and saw a bright purple bruise from her fall forming. Fuck, he will have questions if he sees this.. 

“Alexa, where are you?” 

She heard the front door open and keys being tossed furiously on the entry table. 

“Hello, dear,” Alexa rounded the hallway to the living room. “Um, how--how was your day?” she stutters. 

“It was fine,” he answered coldly, his gaze glued to his phone. “I received a strange phone call on my way home.” 

“Oh?” Alexa felt her heart begin to race. Surely no one saw me. “From who?”

He scoffs. “An old friend from childhood would like to have dinner tomorrow night. 6pm sharp. Nobu.” He kicks off his shoes as he feverishly texts on his cell. “You will meet me there. Do not dress too provocatively. And try  not to embarrass me this time.” She could sense the aggravation in her husband’s voice. “I’m going to change and go out. Don’t wait up.” 

Alexa stared at her feet as she nodded her head complacently.

The next evening, Alexa stared at herself in the mirror in a black chiffon dress with plunging neckline and strappy Christian Louboutins. Her long dark hair flowed in loose curls down her back. She was already dreading this dinner. She knew her husband would find something she did to humiliate him;she would regret it later. She arrived promptly at the upscale restaurant. Her husband was waiting with the maitre’d for her. He forced a smile. 

“Alexa,” he placed his hand on her lower back. Her skin crawled at the feel of his hand “Do not embarrass me,” he whispered as he guided her to the private table. 

“Drake,” the man at the table said warmly. 

“Rhys, so good to see you,” Drake said in a tone Alexa didn’t recognize. His tone was calm and smooth. 

“And who’s this?” The warm baritone voice of her husband’s childhood friend asked. 

“This is my wife Alexa Walker. Lex, this is Liam.” 

Alexa’s head immediately snapped up at the name. Liam immediately recognized her unique eyes, an instant connection flowed through the room, almost tangible.

Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE

[buckyjustbelikethat]

The Fiction of Fairytales: Chapter One

Title: The Fiction of Fairytales: Chapter One 

Characters: Stucky x Reader

Summary: (a/b/o au that is non-cannon compliant) After being captured and forced to live as Brock Rumlow’s mate for years you are kidnapped by the Avengers. They plan to interrogate you for information on Hydra and Rumlow, but after Steve and Bucky realize they are your true mates, they realize that their kidnapping was more of an unexpected rescue.

Warnings: Mentions of assault, kidnapping, death, and abuse, and strong language.

Word Count: approx. 3000

A/N: Hello lovelies! 💕 I’m so sorry for the late update. Life has been really crazy both personally and globally. I hope the longer chapter makes up for the wait. Let me know if you want to be tagged or if you have any suggestions or comments!

Previous Chapter

You followed his instructions until they reached the tower. As you were driving you had the urge to cry passing by the buildings and civilization you had been kept from for so long. But the freedom was a placebo, a momentary feeling that reality is plotting to destroy. You knew you were trading one cage for another. One where you were trapped with a murderer and one when you are considered one. Tony Stark fought for good, and he proved that Brock had turned you into something only recognizable as bad.

They arrived at the tower and the moment you placed the car in park your hands were put into high tech handcuffs. Stark’s hand firmly gripped your arm, and though it was not soft, you breathed a sigh of relief when it felt nothing like the force of Brock’s hands. Stark led you to an elevator that seemed detached from the main part of the building. You hoped he didn’t feel the slight tremble of your body. You were used to the danger of being a captive of Brock, but here, you didn’t know what to expect. The floor you arrived at looked like a police station. There were containment rooms and what looked like interrogation rooms. There weren’t many others on the floor, but the guards scattered throughout looked at you in disgust as you entered. You knew that you did not participate in any of the violence hydra had committed, but being looked at as if you did made you feel dirty.

Stark led you into one of the interrogation rooms, and sat you down on an uncomfortable metal chair. He sat opposite of you and placed his feet on the table between you.

“So, are you also a mass murderer or do you just have a fetish for murders in cults?”

His question reminded you once again that he did not save you, you were considered his enemy. You didn’t know the use in arguing with him, you were unsure if they would ever really believe you, and whether the reality of the circumstance would really save you, or if you were considered damned.

“I’ve never killed anyone.” You stated with as much confidence in your voice as you could muster.  

“A girl like you bonded with an evil person like that has to get her hands dirty a little once and awhile.”

You met his statement with silence. Staring at the metal table and wishing all of this would be over. When he realized you were not going to respond to his previous statement he placed photos down in front of you.

“Do you recognize any of these men?”

Your body involuntarily shivered as you had looked at the faces of men who had taken part in your torture. You recognized Pierce first, and other Hydra members that had brought you so much trauma.

“Yes.”

“Are they all still alive?”

“I don’t know.” It was your honest answer but it made you feel hopeless. Stark wasn’t going to trust you if you couldn’t tell him anything useful. You hadn’t seen a lot of them in a while, but you would never be informed of those kinds of details.

“So you’re telling me you recognize all these men and we are supposed to believe that you know nothing about hydra?” You didn’t have to look at his face to recognize the skepticism in his words.

As Steve and Bucky were walking into the interrogation room they were hit both with the most intoxicating smell, it smelled like warmth, like vanilla and caramel, and it reminded them of the cookies Steve’s mom used to make them when they were younger. Underneath the overwhelming scent was the unmistakable wave of distress. At first they didn’t understand where the scent could be coming from, or who. It didn’t take long for them to narrow down the fact that there was likely no one else nearby besides the Hydra member, who was also Brock’s omega, that Tony just brought in. They glanced at each other in apprehension before entering. They knew that whatever they were walking into it was not the happy meeting of their omega they had dreamed of, but their instincts were screaming at them to open the door.

Steve couldn’t ignore the protectiveness he was feeling towards Bucky in the moment. Whoever this omega was, they were somehow involved with the same people that had hurt Bucky. He was ignoring the protectiveness he felt towards the omega he had not even met yet, as far as he was concerned they did not deserve his protection, Bucky was his priority right now.

“Stark, Captain America and Sergeant Barnes request access to the room to aid interrogation.”

“Let them in, Friday.” Stark responds with a sigh, obviously frustrated he got nowhere on his own.

As the two men entered the room your heart stopped. Their scents felt like home. The dark haired man smelled like freshly brewed coffee, and the blonde haired man smelled like ginger and licorice. You knew without a question these two beautiful men in front of you were your alphas, your true mates. After your mind cleared from the fog that their presence brought you immediately diverted your eyes, cursing yourself for forgetting your position, if Brock was here he would have punished you for looking at an alpha, even if they are his enemy.

Bucky felt consumed by you. You were more beautiful than he ever could have pictured. He was hyper analyzing every frown, every tremor that your body was making, the way that you diverted your eyes from them. The distress and feeling of hopelessness that surrounded you suffocated him. He just hoped your emotions were not fueled by you missing your mate. Though he didn’t like the alternative. He could not win in this situation, and underneath his calculated demeanor, Steve could also feel the feeling of hopelessness Bucky tried to bury, he could not hide his emotions from his mate.

“We have reason to believe they are trying to capture and reactivate the winter soldier, what are their plans?” Stark spoke completely unaware of what was going on.

“The winter soldier?” You were thankful to be snapped back to the reality of the moment, but his questions once again made you feel useless.

“Me.” The dark haired man replied, or Sergeant Barnes as the AI called him.

Your face fell. Though you didn’t know whether to trust your true mates or not, you knew you had very little chance of gaining their love. Not only did you bond with someone else, but they were someone that obviously hurt one of them, and might be actively planning to do so again. You would be pissed if fate gave you you as well.It seemed fate cursed them and is turned your life into a farce.

“I don’t know.” You sounded like a broken record, and you knew with each repetition there will be dire consequences.

“How convenient, it seems you know nothing.”

“I’m sorry, I promise I’m telling the truth.”

Steve’s composure fell, he no longer could quiet his rage.

“Bullshit! What kind of sick joke is this? We are mated to an omega not only bonded with hydra, but obviously she has blatant allegiance to them as well.”

“Mate?” Stark questioned in shock.

“Steve...” Bucky interjected, still not as convinced as his mate was that you were lying and trying to get him to relax.

“No Buck! You deserve so much better than her, than this. And not only does she not have the decency to wait for her true mates, but she mates with a member of Hydra, and is actively covering for an evil organization.” Steve said, looking into Bucky’s eyes while ignoring Stark’s question.

“She’s your true mate?” Tony tried again.

“No.” Steve said, though the message behind his words was heard loud and clear by everyone in the room. He was rejecting her.

You felt like you couldn’t breath. You knew what was going to happen, but God, you didn’t know how you could live with it. You knew his words were the truth, he didn’t even know the full extent of how broken you were and he could already tell you would never measure up.

“I’m sorry.” You tried to show your honesty behind your words, but your voice was weak. You did not understand why you were mated either, but you knew they were good people, they were alpha’s sure, and there are parts of that that scare you, but you know that if you had met them before ever meeting Brock, they would be everything you had ever dreamed of. Your eyes remained diverted, but you could tell just from his voice, his love for Bucky. You felt like it was ripping you in two, all you had ever wanted was a fraction of that love, but the universe deemed you unworthy, adding validity to all of Brock’s claims.

While Steve was filled with protectiveness, Bucky wasn’t so sure of what to make of everything. The ways your eyes never met their own, the pain and fear he could detect though you tried to hide it, and the apology only filled him with questions. Your behavior reminded him of his own when he first got out of Hydra, part of him hoped this wasn’t the case. He would rather be mated to evil, than to be mated to someone that had to withstand the kind of pain he had to.

“What is it exactly you are sorry for?” Bucky asks, his voice still cool, but not laced with the anger Steve’s words were entangled with.

“For being mated with someone else…” you cut yourself off there, not sure if you should list all the reasons why you were sorry you ended up their mate. “And for not being able to help you all with the information you want.”

“Not being able to and not willing to are two different things.” He replied.

“I.. I know. I promise you if I knew I would help you. I understand you don’t like me or trust me. I would feel the same considering who Brock is, but please believe that more than anyone, I don’t want him to be able to hurt anyone ever again.”

“Then how the hell can you justify being with him? For not waiting for your true mates, for him?” Steve almost yells as he tries to keep his cool. He was hurt but he was masking it with anger. Bucky reaches out his hand and lays it on Steve’s shoulder, he gives him a look that pleads for his silence.

Bucky could see the tears pooling in your eyes as you fought them away, and his fear that his suspicions might be true was nagging at his mind.

“How long have you been with Brock?”

This was something that you had fought over the years to know the answer to. You weren’t sure of time when he first took you, the days blended together, but once he started giving you more freedom you decided to keep track of how long it had been.

“Eight years.” you said.

“Okay.” Bucky said, his voice calming. “We have no records of you before Hydra, so can you tell us how old you are?”

“25.” Your voice was still breathy and quiet, unsure his intentions behind his questions.

The fear nagging at Bucky became more pronounced when he learned that you weren’t even of age when you got together.

“How did you meet?”

He watched you as your body froze, panic entered your eyes and your breath became shorter. As you shrunk into your chair you winced at the metal pushing against your bruised body.

Steve started to sense the reasoning behind Bucky’s questions, especially when he saw your reaction. Things started to make sense to Tony too, especially when knowing how little you went out, and the way you looked for the cameras. He suspected you feared him and tried to find safety in knowing that Brock could see you in the surveillance footage, but now he was starting to think your fear was more of the cameras than him.

You didn’t know what to do, he asked about one of the worst days of your life, and you feared they would be disgusted by you if he understood. You saw Bucky move closer to you in an attempt to calm you down, his alpha instincts telling him to soothe the anxiety of his omega. But the closer he got to you the more you shrunk away from him. Trying to hide within the cold metal of your chair, as your pain became more pronounced.

“Hey, it’s okay, we want to help you, but we can’t do that if you don’t talk to us.”

His words calmed you and you cursed that he was able to have an effect on you. He knelt down beside your chair, trying to get a better view of your eyes, despite you doing everything in your power to hide your face behind your hair. You decided to rip the bandaid off, maybe if they understood then they would realize you were no use to them, and then maybe you could let you die on your own terms. You knew there was no other alternative. Brock would always find you, and you had no way of defending yourself, and you would not let yourself become a burden to them as an unwanted mate. You wouldn’t force them to deal with that, it would be wrong of you.

“He killed my parents and he was supposed to kill me too, but he took me as his mate instead.”

“He forced you to bond with him?” He was trying to suppress the rage overwhelming his body, he did not want to scare you away. Steve was still at a distance, now battling his own guilt from what he said to you.

“Yes, I promise, I meant nothing to him, I was just a body, everyone in Hydra viewed me the same. I promise they never discussed any information with me around, and if they did I would tell you, please believe me.” You spoke through your own tears.

“We believe you.” Tony spoke, laced with the same guilt Steve feels.

“Thank you... But they will find me, and what they will do to me is worse than death, I can’t go back, and I won’t be a burden to you, you both deserve to find an omega who is good enough. So please, I’m begging you to kill me.”

Steve and Bucky both started to growl. Unhappy with the words they are hearing from their omega.

“No!” Steve and Bucky both blurted out.

Your whole body was shaking, and it got worse knowing they wouldn’t allow you the kindness of a quick death. “Please, I know you don’t owe me anything but please. I can’t go back. Please.”

Bucky’s hand reached out to calm you, but he immediately realized it was a bad idea when you flinched away. Your face contorted in pain once again and Steve and Bucky wished more than anything that they could fix everything for you right then and there, no matter the cost. Bucky resigned his hand to himself, but Steve came up and knelt beside Bucky.

“No one is going to hurt you again. I promise you. We will protect you sweetheart. I’m so sorry we thought you were Hydra.” Steve spoke to you. His voice soft, and laced with pain for his mate.

“We are your Alpha’s and we will protect you.” Bucky said firmly, assuring you that they weren’t going anywhere despite what Steve had said earlier.

You calmed yourself enough to reply to their assertions.

“You don’t have to protect me,” you wiped your tears from your face with your still handcuffed hands. “I’ll be fine. Please, like you said earlier, you deserve better, and I understand that.”

“No, no. That is not true.” Steve said distressed at what his omega was saying to him.

“Honey, I was a captive of Hydra for years, they made me do horrible things, I understand what they are capable of, but that is not a reflection on you. Did you want to be there?”

“No.” You sniffled.

“Do you agree with the horrible things that they do?”

“No!” You stated, trying to convince them.

“Then there is nothing that could change our mind.”

You still felt unconvinced but Steve didn’t give you much time to reject what Bucky said.

“Are you hurt?” Steve asked, assessing as much of your body as he could.

You nodded. “I’ll be fine though, Brock wasn’t happy with me this morning.”

You could see Bucky and Steve’s body both tense up at your words.

“What happened?”

“It was my fault, I looked up at him.”

Both men started growling again, even Tony joined in already becoming protective over his teammates and friends’ omega.

“You did nothing wrong, sweetheart.” Bucky spoke to you.

“But I’m an omega.. and I shouldn’t have done that.”

Bucky wished he reached out and guided your chin up so you could look him in his eyes, but he was afraid of scaring you even more.

“Doesn’t matter if you are an omega, doll. You are not lesser than other people, especially not him.” Bucky said his voice caring.

“Can we take you to the medical wing to get you checked out?” Steve asked.

“S-sure.” You replied, still not knowing if you could trust them and their words, but the fantasy of their words of love was too enticing. You decided that even if this didn’t last, it was worth it to escape, even for just a moment, in fiction.

Next Chapter

Tags (open): @snakesonastarship​ @thanossucks​ @yomama-umbridge​ @grandluminaryearthquake​ @laughsandlivia​ @bloo-moon-freak​ @this-is-a-chilis-drive-thru​ @sergeantrosabellaswan​

[anadrawzone]

Tawnas departure

Wrote by: Ana González | Translated by: Oxide Mr. Crumb

- … Cortex was defeated. Do you know what that means? -

After an endless adventure touring tropical islands; Ancient ruins, rivers and waterfalls, mines, laboratories and even a macabre castle, our orange hero had finally managed to banish the villain. A battle between two opposite poles that, without hesitation at all, would surely have its revenge.

Now he just had to stay with the girl and live happily ever after, a wonderful ending to the story of these two lovebirds ... Or so it was supposed. -------- --------

Tawna and Crash watched the beautiful sunset on the horizon. Filled with vibrant warm colors, sitting in that old purple blimp. Crash was happy, fulfilled that he had achieved his main goal; his beloved was safe from any danger and no one was going to threaten them again, their own creator had fallen to a (possible) death and they were reunited again, but the girl did not look as happy as him. That confused him a bit.

While they "saw" the landscape, strangely the blonde girl was not paying attention to the beautiful image, instead, she was immersed in all her thoughts, doubts and desires staring at absolutely nothing. The little boy couldn't help but think that there was something wrong that was bothering him, so he slowly approached to see what she had.

- Uhm… ¿Mh? – The furry touched the blonde's arm gently, but hard enough to pull her out of her trance.

Tawna got up a little nervous and a little excited, turned to see the boy and began to talk to him in an animated way.

- Crash! You know, I really can't believe it, Yo- You came and rescued me. -She took a little pause to catch his breath. -Now that Cortex was defeated. Do you know what that means? - Crash shook his head somewhat confused, but interested in knowing the answer. Tawna leaned down to get closer to him and whispered. - It means we are free! -

- Woah. - Crash didn't quite understand; he knew all that, he had just experienced it ... Was it something so surprising?

"We can do what we want, be what we want…" Tawna moved from side to side, shaking a little. She could barely contain his excitement; Crash was quite curious of that. She was always someone very calm. - We can LEAVE THIS PLACE. - The girl took her partner's hands, joined them with hers and smiled at him. -Let's use this airship to get out of the Wumpa Islands. Crash, where would you like to go? We have so many possibilities. -

-…-

Crash did not take those words so well, he had to think about it for a couple of seconds, but he made the decision firmly, changed his face to a more serious one, taking a couple of steps away girlfriend and breathed a little. -Ah, ah. -

He shook his head firmly in denial, something unexpected for Tawna, who believed that the marsupial would be totally willing to go with her, that made her feel a lump in her throat. - No? ex-excuse me...? - With some pain, small tears began to fall from the blonde's face, even if Crash had not answered, her reaction would have been the same. She slowly sat down so she could catch up with the orange.

Crash felt bad, he didn't expect her to react that way, he got closer again and placed his hand on Tawna's shoulder and she looked up.

-I don't understand, why would you want to stay? - - Uh! Ah! - Crash tried to make various gestures, trying to tell the girl that he couldn't just leave, he felt that he should stay in this place.

Now that he thought about it, he had never seen beyond the Wumpas Islands, would it be worth leaving his home? Also, what about the flora and fauna of the islands? Without Aku Aku's protection something very bad could happen ...

I understand that your heart is very big, but you haven't seen the things that I saw when I was a prisoner. YOU HAVE NO IDEA ... - Tawna took a breath of air and began to count all the atrocities she had witnessed, things that only few mutants managed to see ... because she was not part of the army forces itself.

The blonde was created with a different purpose, her intelligence and attitude were perfect to stay after army operations and also to be Crash company; a hand that moved the strings, planning movements and giving orders, as well as a reason for his strongest general to always be loyal to his master.

Not being created to fight, the blonde never went through the lethal tests of Dr. Cortex and instead of having a strict training, she had some freedom to explore the castle, to learn the necessary and analyze everything she could. The girl was curious and would soon regret learning too much. ____________________________

Brio wasn't the best at keeping an eye on Tawna, regularly letting her wander alone and talking to other experiments wich she never saw again, very regularly wondering << Where will so many animals go?>>.

One of those days the girl found that "the subject" was being taken to one of the mysterious tests, the girl with some nerves began to follow her partner from a distance, while he was taken by two laboratory assistants; the mutant followed them quite happily, taking long strides while admiring the castle walls, as if it were a simple morning walk. After a certain time, they reached the test chamber, where the voice of their creator was heard through a speaker on the wall.

- Are you ready? - Asked the evil Dr. Neo Cortex, with some joy in his voice, Crash only responded by shaking his head up and down, while Tawna (without having entered) watched everything from a window placed in one of the walls.

What she saw did not liked at all, because, although Crash had no idea at the time, he was crossing highly lethal obstacles; Explosives, fatal falls and possible splinters could be seen from all sides ... this was inhuman, now the girl had an idea of ​​where most of the friends that the bandicoot had made for weeks were going. Thinking of the worst for her partner, Tawna closed her eyes, wishing he managed to survive and not have to re-enter that ugly place again. Fortunately, the first of his prayers was fulfilled, unfortunately the second was not.

Weeks and even months passed, but the girl never managed to meet her goal, at least Crashworth was skillful enough to pass the tests without problems ... but only a few managed to reach the half. The blonde was grateful that she didn't have to go through all that, but she wished that no one else was forced to follow this silly plan of world domination, so she tried to resort to many things. She tried to talk to his friend and best company about the danger he was exposing to, but there was not much to do, Crash had a routine that became more and more strict, with less time in the cages and more in training, by far, whatever he wanted, he couldn't find a safe way to reunite with the girl without alerting the security of the place, so Tawna looked for other alternatives to undo all this. She spoke hundreds of times with Brio, it seemed that he did want to resign, however he always retracted his words, contradicted himself or ignored his surroundings.

- Yes, yes sweet one, we will end this soon, but I cannot disobey the master so easily ... maybe if we joined forces, we could… uh... No-no, I- maybe, ugh. SIGHT. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I feel like they're watching us, I could be in trouble …-

- But Brio I know you can convinc- The subordinate man's alien hand covered her mouth, seeing what appeared to be Cortex's shadow approaching.

- I can't, stop trying. It's time for you to go back to your cage ... you are not supposed to learn about this. - This was the case until the fateful day when the Cortex Vortex was used on the remaining mutants, after several failed tests and breakdowns that our blonde had caused in sabotage attempts.

____________________________

-I'm so glad that neither of us had become an evil slave of that cretin ... Now do you understand why we should not stay? He could still be here! -

- MHM! - Clearly Cortex could still be on the islands somewhere, but Crash was sure that there was still some goodness in that man, he could feel it, hear it. Something that Tawna surely did not know, if Cortex came back ... he should at least try and prove that there is still a kind heart within the doctor.

Having made his girlfriend understand this, she finally resigned herself to accepting her lover's wish. It was sad to think about it, both of them had supported each other when they did not know anyone else, always trying to see for each other, but now their paths were going in different directions ... they did not want to separate, but they were not going to force the other to do something they did not want.

Crash walked over to Tawna and gave her a big hug, while she was still sitting up. -Okay, you want to stay, but I can't do it… not with what I saw, not when I couldn't even protect myself, I wouldn't want to be a hindrance and that you have to worry about me. I'll be back… when I'm strong enough… Maybe we can go on an adventure together that day, okay? - A few tears came from both of them, each one gently dried the other's cry.

Thus, having agreed to separate, Tawna still couldn't leave and leave Crash completely alone and to his own devices, so she stayed for a few weeks while they built a nice home for him to live in. They spent beautiful times, laughed and rested on the seashore ... But despite all that new peace, they still felt the threat of Cortex in the air. His memories were still very fresh.

Crash took a stick and began to write in the sand "Where do you plan to go?", Then stung the blonde a bit slowly. Then she turned around and read the message.

- "I ... I don't really know." - The girl began to think a bit. She did not know the world as it is, she had only heard of it, but never gone. -I have a small map around here, maybe I could start with a somewhat remote place ... Wait, I'll go find it. - She stopped and entered the half-built house, looking among her things for a map that she remembered keeping. Meanwhile, Crash was waiting on the beach, Aku aku appeared out of nowhere (Literally), returning from having checked the status of the Islands. - Fortunately, there hasn't been any sign of Cortex around here in a long time, but I think I've seen an unknown mutant near here. I couldn't check if it was hostile or not so the best thing would be to prepare for whatever is coming. Its coming. –

Crash complied with what his mentor said and quickly stood on guard, ready to await a possible attack from a new enemy. Seconds later, the bushes in the distance began to rustle, moving strongly, much more than it would if a normal animal were behind them, so the marsupial was sure the enemy was there. A couple more steps and the creature emerged from its hiding place, falling as it became entangled with one of the roots of the plants around it. - Huhf! - The orange boy approached slowly ... looking at the creature he thought it did not look like a monster ... or a dangerous mutant, the creature was small, thin and with large blond hair. The girl got up slowly and our hero realized that he was a bandicoot just like him and Tawna ... how strange, they thought they were the only ones of that species created by Cortex

- ¿A-are you… Crash? – Said the girl touching her head. -Yes ... I would recognize I would recognize you wherever, you are something famous brother. -

Aku aku was quite surprised - Wait, brother? - The mask made his protégé move a bit away from the stranger, putting himself in front of her face (which Crash was unable to see, so he began to look out from all possible sides).

- Ehh… Ok, explained it. - He took a breath, raising one of his hands as if pointing to something.

- My name is Coco, I was created by this "Cortex" - While Coco said that Crash said in a low voice “¿Da-Daddy?”, something that made the minor make a somewhat disgusted face. -Yes ... you could say that he is like your father ... not mine, only the one who created me. He told me about you, he said you were still around ... he said you had abandoned me. And well I wanted to know if it was-true. -

- Crash, Crash!! I know it took me a long time, but I found the map. There is a very large island near ... - Tawna left the house euphoric, but stopped in her tracks when she saw the unknown mutant and was placed in a battle pose. - Who-who is she? -

-Coconut. Crash's sister… I need to talk to you. - Coco began to explain why he was here, what had happened these last weeks. -Well, while you guys escaped, I stayed behind. I always wondered why they had run away without me, it's strange. But I did not trust that strange bighead, if you are my family ... why would you? -Oh dear, we… we had no idea that you existed- The two older bandicoots went to hug the smallest, they knew that Cortex could be someone very cruel and liar.

-I think I've been lost for weeks… I didn't know if they were still here, I'm glad I found them. I thought I would be alone on this desolate island. Thanks. -

Coco smiled as they continued with the hug, which lasted a long time, the Bandicoot family just as it had suddenly grown a little more, in the same way it would lose a member. At least Crash would no longer be completely alone, with Coco and Aku by his side, any evil could be stopped. And Tawna? She would go a little calmer. Nervous about going somewhere unaccompanied, but she had to. She had to prove to herself that she would never be a damsel in distress again. Thus gathered all together, they continued talking throughout the afternoon, what they would make of their lives as they would keep communicated. The older blonde ultimately decided to venture to live near Sydney, Australia; due to the good reviews of the place. In addition to having received a curious message from some mutants that were established in that place. Tawna remembered them and thought they had perished during tests and experiments, but somehow, they also escaped without anyone knowing.

--------------

It took another 2 weeks until the house was completely finished. With decisions made and ready to be executed; Tawna packed her things, climbed into the old Cortex airship, and said goodbye to the brothers.

-I will write and send you messages whenever I can. Don't stop saving the world, please. - The girl dropped her suitcases to be able to receive a hug from the two boys, the last hug.

- We hope you find your place soon. Be the best version of yourself. - Coco was quite happy for her friend, but sad for her departure while Crash shed a few tears that he couldn't contain.

- ¡A-dah! – Crash said enthusiastically.

- Bye guys, take good care of yourselves. - The girl finished getting on the airship, taking flight and going to explore the endless world. Who knows, maybe one day the 4 of them can get together again as one big family.

- Let's go home, kids. - Aku aku thought of preparing a good hot chocolate to spend the cold night in the jungle, inside a little house surrounded by trees, where three heroes rested waiting for a new evil to fight.