#like stop tryna tell me how to draw my own fucking character

[lilitu-the-wrathian]

Announcement. [It's bad]

I am still deleting asks telling me my drawing of Lilitu is cp and I should take it down. Personally, my drawing isn't cp and you should just mind your fucking business, because nobody asked?

But, just to indulge, I would like to know where you see cp at? If you mention her clothing... it's clothes?

Oh no! She's wearing a shirt that says slut on it! She's only 15 and wearing fishnets!

Oh no! She has on a short skirt! None of this clothing is modest! Nooo!

Oh no! It's a fucking trauma response because she's been tortured and manipulated for more than half her life!

Until any of you come up with a better trauma response to tutu literally being SAed, shut the fuck up.

Not only that, but you hoes are anonymous too, like c'mon, talk your shit.

[unorganisedalienrubbish]

Okay, let me talk about Alien (from the Whump rp) for a bit, because I’ve been doing some thinking (uh oh)

This is spoilers by the way, if you don’t want to know the insides of my character, and you’d like to figure it out on your own,then I’d suggest you stop reading (I don’t mind either way) :]

Some quick facts that don’t leak deep lore:

Day job is a handy man / tradesperson ( hence the soundproofing and wall screw knowledge )

Scars from possible deep backstory (I’ll keep you on your toes for now) or maybe from past whumpee anons?

202cm tall (6’7ish) (because why not, seems accurate(I caved and changed it)) (I don’t mean to draw the anons so tiny, it just happens (I’m sorry))

now this is the really juicy shtuff

One of the reasons why they’re so huge (apart from a big buff lady is so so cool) is like, the vibe we’re tryna make here. Like:

‘ I can hurt you, absolutely, I am very capable of doing pretty much whatever I want with you. But you’re going to have to trust me that I won’t’. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, I’m telling you this, but you have no grounds to believe me. I’m already on ‘the wrong side’, how do you know what my intentions are?’

That aside, she’s really just a big teddy bear (as far as you know mwahaha). They don’t want to hurt the anons, and they don’t get any satisfaction out of them being hurt. As far as I’ve thought it out, this is just a job for Alien (and it pays really well - hush fees and all). She figures that if she doesn’t take the job, someone else will (and do a worse job of it) so they might as well.

Second point! (This will be a long post folks)

@whump-queen and I were talking about this earlier (I hope you don’t mind me mentioning) but Alien doesn’t really get the whole ‘consensual-pet whump’ thing going on. Like, they tolerate it, but I guess @the-wind-anon (and some of the others, they’re the one that comes to mind though) weirds them out a little bit (lol this will be fun to write)

Possible dialogue:

“what are you doing?! Ah, please let go of my leg! THATS ENOUGH! Go sit over there where I can keep an eye on you (at a reasonable distance).”

“Dude! I polished those this morning, stop licking my fucking boots!”

“You can stand up to talk to me you know? I can’t hear you so well when you’re on the floor.”

Anyway, that’ll be fun. >:]

Third point! (Kinda, don’t read too much into this one)

Maybe she actually likes the anons. And feels bad for them? ( I haven’t really thought this out the whole way ). She definitely cares about them, and wants them to be healthy. Maybe Alien wishes that they weren’t in captivity, but realises that if it weren’t them it would be some other poor thing in the anons’ place. This definitely isn’t enough for her to quit the job or to defy @whump-queen or whatever. But it might be something to think about for the future?

Okay! Rant over.

[sincerely-raine]

I hate ppl who say I’m “lucky” for being flat chested like 🤨??? if anything I think y’all are lucky for being able to feel like real women (unless ur trans/enby then I’m hella sorry, I’m just shit talking cis women who say this shit)

Everytime my tits are brought up all I hear is “omg ur so lucky u can actually fit in clothes 😩” YEAH CHILDRENS CLOTHES

YOU THINK IT FEELS NICE ONLY BEING ABLE TO WEAR CLOTHES MADE FOR 8 YEAR OLDS??? WELL IT DONT BAE IN FACT ITS HELLA FUCKING HUMILIATING (sorry to bring out the all caps but they’re really good for letting out anger lolol)

And don’t even get me started on bras- bitch I can’t find fitting bras for SHIT every bra in my area is made for B-G cups THERE AINT NO AS OR AAS

I started puberty at 10 and didn’t get my first fitting bra till I was 14– even Victoria’s Secret let me down

Like they measured my tiddies and were all like “32A ur so lucky I wish I had ur size 🤪🤪🤪” then I walk over to the cabinets with bras in them…open the 32A drawer…you know what I saw?

Fucking B cups

In the 32A drawer

There were 4 B cup bras

In one of the biggest bra companies

And I know they were NOT Acups because they had unpadded cups in their bras (and they didn’t fit)

Bitch if there’s cups and they aren’t even padded then they are NOT Acups ✋🏻💀 I’m sorry but bra companies are too busy tryna tell us smallies that we’re not good enough and need to look bigger to give us UNPADDED bras

I have NEVER seen a bra company actually tell flat chesters that we don’t need to create an illusion of having big boobs (other than that Pepper.com site or whatever it’s called, love y’all 💞💞💞)

So yeah I wasted my money on that shit cuz yknow? I wanna feel like a woman, not a little boy, and idgaf if the bras are too big I was NOT wearing training bras for the rest of my life

So yeah wearing those bras made me insecure asf and I still am lmao

But naw back on track-

2 other problems with clothes:

-So many women’s shirts made for boobs….so many…

-And the baggy clothes

I said it a million times and I’ll say it again:

FLAT 👏🏻 WOMEN 👏🏻 DONT 👏🏻 HAVE 👏🏻 BOOB 👏🏻 CRACKS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

BOOB CRACKS ARE LITERALLY MADE OUT OF TWO LUMPS OF FAT PRESSED TOGETHER

WE DONT HAVE FAT DEAR LORD

And every fucking women’s shirt I see has a hole for the tiddy crack- and for us it either just shows our chest skin or our whole tiddies and nipples

I don’t wanna go walking round the street showing everyone what color the skin on my chest is or the color of my fucking areolas

AND THE SHIRTS THAT NEED BOOBS TO STRETCH THEM OUT OMFGGG

Every time I see them I’m like “Oooh a sexy crop top I wanna wear it!” 😃 then I’m like “Oh yeah…it’ll just look like a fucking tank top on me” 🙂 like y’all thiccer girls out there don’t know HOW MANY shirts need boobs-

I’d provide pics but my internet is shit but if u see a a big tiddies girl wearing a crop top- the reason why it’s a crop top is because 90% of what’s under her shirt is boobs, not shaming just tryna get it thru y’all’s head that PEOPLE NEED TO MAKE CROP TOPS FOR SMALL BOOBS WE WANNA FEEL SEXY TOO???

(Like for example the reason why clothes are tight on y’all is most likely cuz y’all tits take up most of ur shirt, take those tiddies away and that shirt will prolly be twice the size of you)

And the baggy clothes…I hate most baggy clothes, if u like them that’s cool but bitch I’m talking bout myself rn and that shit is ugly to me 😂😂😂 and the fact that ALL clothes are big and baggy on me makes me feel even uglier than I already am like wtf

And I’m used to baggy clothes I wear them all day everyday!!! Ever since I was fucking born! That’s shits getting boring I wanna feel sexy and wear skin tight clothes but nooooo all tight shirts are made for BOOBS

I’d need to go to a fucking professional tailor to get a tight shirt and waste $1k for one shirt or sum shit

Next topic:

The insecuritiesssss ✨✨✨

We’re all insecure but when you’re flat you got ur own insecurities that you can’t tell anyone about otherwise they’ll just disregard every fucking thing you say in exchange for “but you can fit in shirts” (thanks a lot, bitches, that helps so much)

And for y’all’s record: stop telling flat chesters that we can cosplay dudes easier, telling us that we look like men doesn’t help, in fact it makes it worse cuz we tell ourselves that exact thing everyday 🙂

And not everyone likes cosplaying?? So???? What’s ur point

The fact that men say they don’t care bout breast size then continue to ONLY sexualize big boobs like yes tf you do care, we know this. I can’t even look up small boobs in any explicit manner without seeing CHILDREN (hentai children ofc but still children) LIKE WERE NOT KIDS STOP CALLING US KIDS unless you are a kid 🤪 and can y’all stop with the pedophilic hentai? That shits disgusting

And STOP DRAWING SMALL BOOBED CHARACTERS WITH BIG BOOBS I can’t even count how many times I saw fan art of Miku with big boobs- SHES FLAT AND YALL KNOW THIS STOP FUCKING CHANGING HER BODY YALL DONT KNOW HOW MANY PPL UR HURTING WITH THAT SHIT

And it’s not just her too 🙄 like is it that fucking hard to draw a flat chest, y’all always draw it on men, why not women? Hm? Do u not like flat women? Think we’re not good enough? Well good for you cuz we’d never date boring ass, offensive ass incels like you anyways. You could never have these cute A cups ❤️❤️❤️

I was gonna add “vent post” at the top but fuck it, this shits important to us flatties and if u skip this post I hope you step on a tac 💓

[frostbite-the-bat]

Okay, my brain is still a little scrampled eg :tm: and foggy and I'll have to go to sleep again soon but I want to ramble about this as I think writing it down may help others but also help to ram it in my own head a little bit - so this may not be worded the way id like it to but hopefully the message will still come across

This is about fanwork/headcanons/aus and such - since I am working on quite a big Deltarune AU myself and I constantly worry about it not being "canon" enough, since it is meant to be canon-esk and develop things that the player doesn't see in the game.

But... That is kind of the magic of aus! You can do so much cool stuff with an existing media, potray things your own way, change things to suit your needs or change problematic things, add cool ocs, add cool headcanons and make them canon in the au and create things to support them even more, and other things!!! literally go ham and have fun!!!!!! i am thinking abt that one post that i rbd a while ago that i rbs bc of the last addition abt aus and how people should make oc worlds at that point (and how that is how twilight was created)

And I suppose, if you change canon characters too much and claim them as your ocs (like the fucking mass amount of spamton ex ocs, and we know how i feel about those /neg) but still!! literally just have fun its not harming anyone, only absolutely butthurt negative assholes!!! ive been worrying about changing stuff in **MY** au because one or two people out there may not like it.

if you were in the early bugsnax fandom you may remember the drama about people giving them tails. yes!! people argued abt giving grumpuses tails!! and like !!who cares!! change the designs however the fuck you want! go ham!! make them fluffy! give them cute ears and tails! give them paw pads! give them cool markings! make them in your design and make your version of them truly yours and make it fun to draw! im sure all those designs are lovely and fun and if you wanna do it nothing should fucking stop you

and same goes for me and other ppls hcs!! currently i was worrying about making everything kinda furry-esk in my dpau and all that, and the MASSIVE changes ive done to plugboys and yesmen especially (literally making yesmen snake people for several reasons)

and like!! who cares its not canon!! its MY interpretation!! its MY au!! my au that changes so much stuff and allows me to create an amazing oc story and world within an pre-existing media AND letting those characters interact with canon characters!! and add new stories with canon characters and expand canon species!! literally dont hold yourself back unless it stresses you out and shit! (i need to learn that lol..i add TOO much stuff) its not even canon and i fully know the difference!!!

but literally! its also an outlet for creativity and i think you should be allowed to go ham if you want. if someone tells you to not do something like give grumpuses tails or make the addisons fluffy theyre an asshole.

literally like as long as ur not making the media harmful like add gross shit like p//dophilia, z//philia and whitewash characters or do any other racist digusting shit then i think u should be allowed to have fun! wanna make smthn a furry? go on ahead have fun literally fuck ppl!! who is it harming????????? like! you can also dislike these things! just scroll look away, maybe block which is all fine and healthy you can and should do that! if a hc doesnt match yours and may make you uncomfy literally just ignore it. dont start shit thats pointless. spend ur time better, draw cute puppies instead or smthn!! or speak about it privately bc i think being a bit bitchy with friends is okay to have an outlet but if you go directly after someone literally fuck off. (i personally can confirm theres some things i bitch about a lot but guess what i also do!! i also block those things and look away!! and im actively tryna get better than be hurt over pointless stuff online bc its not smthn im proud of)

but like srsly.. let ppl have fun n shit!!! srsly theres no harm in it fjgirhgotr yall 2 serious

[1hellofacookie]

I ran out of tags so I’m just gonna message you because I’m still looking at your sketches and I’m just in awe.

Is the last one Asami and Rangi in each other’s clothes? Asami (the one on the right... if it’s not Asami) had the BEST pose. Like I don’t even know how to say what I like about it in a way that makes sense but honestly your poses are SO GOOD. Like every time I see one of your drawings it’s like looking at a picture because it’s so real. The movement? I don’t know if this makes sense. I just had to tell you cause I don’t have any more tags to use but you made my day. Literally.

Duuude, stop iiit- 😭😭 U making me all soft here 🥺🥺 I cant handle that much praise

But yes, this one

Is Salami and Rangay in each others clothes.

When I first drew it, I hated it, thats why I stopped working on it. But now I think its not that bad actually. Might get back to it one day.

Poses is really something I pay attention to, and I'm currently focussing even more on it (tryna get movement into my art yk, cant animate, well not yet). Poses just need to be fluid for me so I dont loose interest. I cant stand stiff drawings, still I struggle with it from time to time. Often enough I just sit in front of my iPad, not knowing what to draw because I dont know a pose. I've been drawing stiff characters for way too long so now I'm always trying to find a pose so it doesn't look boring. bUt istg even fucking STANDING POSES are SO hard— idk its hard to explain bc it gotta look natural and kinda relaxed but like what do you look like when you're just standing there.

Finding reference is also a pain in the ass. Because its not the reference that I got first, its the idea. And finding a reference that fits my idea is sooo haardddd. Often enough I just make my own refs. Now i have a fuck ton of weird selfies on my phone 💀💀

Alright, enough talk 💀

[icecreamkink]

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon, 

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

[returnto-dust]

All These Feelings

Summary: Oh no. Oh fuck. Are those… feelings? Shit. She has a crush on none other than Bucky Barnes. A crush. Gross. This was not supposed to happen. Reader finds herself falling for Bucky Barnes despite her number one rule: Don’t fall in love! But with Bucky’s constant flirting and always being so nice and so handsome, what can a girl do? There’s just one small problem: she hasn’t gotten over the pain of a past relationship, and she doesn’t want to get hurt again.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x unnamed female character

Word Count: 3926 (including song lyrics in italics)

Warnings: NSFW (18+), oral (female receiving), angst, pining, mention of a bad past relationship, brief scene of verbal abuse but nothing too graphic.

A/N: My entry for Laur’s (@fvckingavengers​) Quarantine Writing Challenge. I am not a writer. I enjoy writing, but I do not think I am very good at it lol. Also I suck at smut. This is my first time ever posting my own writing on this site, so please be nice! Enjoy!

Inspired by Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walk through this world, just tryna be nice 

They say I’ll get hurt, if I’m not like ice

I know I’ve got friends, I still get so lonely

If I look in your eyes, I’ll want you to hold me

“Whaddya doin’ down there?” Bucky’s heavy boot knocks into her foot as he peers down at the girl on the floor, crumpled out like a wet towel. His hands are on his hips, and his hair is pulled back into a low bun. She makes no move to look toward him, only noticing the largest details out of the corners of her eyes.

“I’m contemplating my existence, I thought that was obvious,” she gives one slow blink toward the ceiling to punctuate her statement, chest rising and falling rhythmically.

“Why ya doin’ that?” she doesn’t have to see him to know there’s a smirk on his stupid pink lips. 

She heaves a dramatic sigh, “Oh, my sweet, innocent Binky.” She follows this up with some incoherent mumbling.

Bucky shakes his head, chuckling silently to himself. He clears his throat and circles around her limbs on the living room floor to sit next to her, back pressed against the couch. She finally glances his way, catching his eyes.

“Ya know, when people examine their place in the world, they usually do it alone.”

“Do ya want me to go?”

“Nnngh,” a groan followed by a small shake of the head.

Bucky chuckles again, looking down at the girl. “I’ll take that as a no.” A couple seconds of silence pass before he speaks up again, more serious. “Doll, what’s wrong?”

She hesitates a moment before fishing around on the floor for her phone, tapping on the screen some, and then shoving it towards him. He takes it from her hands to find it on the calendar app. Ah, yes. The fifteenth. The dreaded fifteenth. Bucky knows this date has some sort of significance to her, but he doesn’t know what it is. Hasn’t asked. He sets the phone down on her rising and falling stomach.

“Look at me, darlin’,” he taps the inside of her wrist and she turns her head, her eyes finding his. There’s a sadness there, an ache, deep rooted, twisting all around inside her. Bucky wishes he can take it away. “Hey, look, I don’t know what’s goin’ on up there today,” he waggles a finger toward her head and she smiles despite herself. “But whatever it is, I know you’re stronger. I know you can overcome it. But anyway, I hope the pain eases soon,” he smiles sweetly, his eyes shining.

There’s suddenly a lump in her throat, and she has to force herself to look away. “Ugh, stop looking at me like that! Go away, you’re being too nice!” she waves a hand at him, shooing him away.

Bucky’s laughing as he stands from the floor. “Hey, when you’re done being a slug on the rug, come find me an’ Steve, we’ll treat ya to somethin’ good for dinner, yeah? Take ya mind off all that crap.” She only groans in response.

~~

I over-communicate and feel too much

I just complicate it when I say too much

I laugh about it, dream about that casual touch

Sex is fire, sick and tired of acting all tough

“Still here?” Nat’s voice breaks her out of her thoughts, and she looks up from the floor to find her best friend staring down at her, disappointment clear on her face. She frowns and lets her head drop back to the floor. “Alright, that’s enough,” Nat tosses her training gear on the couch and stalks over to her friend, gripping each slender wrist in her hands and yanking until she’s sitting up on her ass. The assassin only rolls her eyes at the accompanying groans of disapproval. She sits down in front of her friend.

“You could’ve just asked,” she pouts, picking at the strings on her frayed jeans.

Natasha shakes her head. “No more nice guy, yeah? This is getting ridiculous,  babe. Two years now, and he’s still got you like this. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but... it’s time to get over it.” She refuses to meet Nat’s eyes, swallowing around the lump in her throat and blinking away the stinging in her eyes. “You’re here now with a family that loves you. Maybe even one that loves you more than others,” she raises her brows suggestively, nudging her friend’s arm.

She laughs and shakes her head, “Stop! It’s not like that. Bucky and I are just friends.”

Nat gives her a look, Really?  “But you could be more than that, you know, if you just let it happen.”

“I can’t, Nat. You know I can’t,” she hugs her arms to herself and draws her knees in. Nat knows full well, the two girls have talked about the story countless times, but it’s been two years. Two long years.

“You’re thinking too much about it, babe. Aren’t you tired? You could be happy again. I want you to be happy again,” all too familiar, this conversation. So many times, Nat’s tried to talk some sense into her best friend. Maybe this time it’ll work.

She sighs, letting Nat’s words sink in. Yeah, she is tired. But what happens if she lets someone in again and things go wrong? Or what if that someone decides she wasn’t worth all the trouble? What if she doesn’t know how to be in a relationship again?

Hands are on her shoulders, shaking her out of her thoughts, “Stop! I can see you thinking. You have to stop letting those thoughts in your head, they’re doing you no good,” she searches her friend’s eyes for a moment before bringing her into her arms. “I know it’s hard, but I know you can get through this.”

~~

Caught up inside, both happy and lonely

Keep telling me lies, they’re killing me slowly

I get too attached, they don’t even know me

Why can’t I relax? Why can’t I relax?

Two Years Ago, September 15th

‘I’ll be late, don’t wait up.’ ‘I’m just out with a friend, you have nothing to worry about.’ ‘You’re acting crazy!’

“Please, Nick, why did you do this?” There’s tears streaming down her blotchy face, blurring her vision as she watches her long-term boyfriend, turned fiance frantically shove clothes and other belongings into bags, stomping around their shared bedroom.

“Take a guess, sweetheart,” he spits, rolling his eyes as she flinches away from him.

“I tried… I wanted to be good for you, I did! Nick, please!” she’s practically on her hands and knees for him on the bed, sobbing his name over and over again. The same place their pretty neighbor was doing the same thing only an hour before.

“Oh, please! You were never gonna be good enough! Don’t you get that? All this time spent with you, wasted! And now look at you; you’re pathetic!” He laughs as she breaks down completely in front of him, crumpling forward on the bed spread. He zips the bags and moves closer, gripping the hair on the back of her head to lift her face up, spitting out, “You’ll never be good enough for anyone, you disgusting, little bitch.” Shoving her head back to punctuate his statement, he leaves her alone in the big, empty house.

Two Years Ago, September 18th

There’s knocking on the front door but she can’t be bothered to acknowledge it. Can’t even turn her head toward the door from her position lying across the couch. It stops finally, and she lets her eyes fall closed, until she feels hands on her shoulders, shaking her awake. For one dreadful second, it’s Nick, back to harass and call her names, but it’s just Natasha. 

“Hey, sweetie. You haven’t been answering my calls,” her voice is low and soft, one hand rubbing soothing circles into the fragile girl’s arm. She doesn’t say anything. “I don’t know what happened, but you don’t look too good. How about I make you something to eat and drink, and then we get you washed up and into some new clothes and you can tell me what happened, okay?” Hesitation, then a small nod. Nat gives her a kind smile. “Okay. I’ll take care of you. Everything will be alright.”

~~

I’m sorry that I care, care

I’m sorry that I care, care

It’s really not that fair, fair

I can’t help but care

She’s thinking back to that day as she towel dries her hair, fresh from the shower and in her newly clean bedroom. When Natasha wants to get someone up and out of a funk, she knows exactly what to do. There’s butterflies swarming in her stomach. Thoughts racing with things unsaid, a certain someone flashing before her eyes. Natasha was right. Things need to change, before it’s too late.

A knock sounds at the door as she’s dressing in a pair of cotton pajamas. Her heart skips, because she knows that knock. Sure enough, when she opens the door just enough to peek around, it’s Bucky, all warm smiles and soft locks. It’s infectious, and she can’t help but smile back. 

“Hey, there she is,” he says, tucking a loose strand behind his ear.

She opens the door a bit wider. “Hey, Buck. Sorry about dinner, Nat made me clean my room.” she gestures behind her and steps out of the way so he can see. Not wanting to make him stand in the hall the whole time, she invites him in and closes the door behind them.

“No worries, I put some leftovers in your fridge.” There it is. Always looking out for her. 

She wrings her hands together and sits on the edge of the bed, her heart suddenly leaping into her throat. “Hey, Buck?” He raises his eyebrows. Now that she really looks at him, she can tell he’s tense. Hands in his pockets, shoulders up around his neck. Something isn’t right. But she promised herself she wouldn’t chicken out. “We… we need to talk.”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I think we do,” He nods his head. “Because I’ve been wracking my brain all day trying to figure this thing out. I thought I was being obvious, but then I was thinking maybe you just don’t notice. And I was talking to Stevie, and he said something that got me thinking, hey, maybe she just doesn’t like me.” He shrugs his shoulders and finishes with his hands on his hips, staring down at his boots. 

“Oh, Bucky, I’m so sorry! God, this is exactly what I didn’t want to happen!” she jumps up from the bed. “Bucky, look at me, please.” Their eyes meet and she has to steel herself for what she’s about to say. Because she’s about to break her number one rule. For two years, she’s kept her heart guarded, stayed away from anyone who tried to break through her walls. But Bucky has been that one constant who never gave up no matter how many times she shut him out or turned him down. She’s going against every instinct ingrained in her body, but sometimes you have to fight that, and just listen to your heart. “I think… I think I might be in love with you.”

There. It’s out there. In the air, in the open. He heard it. She knows, because he’s looking at her like she just grew two heads. Now, she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Bucky breathes out a disbelieving laugh, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. “Ya know, sometimes, I just don’t get you.” Despite his words, there’s a smile on his lips.

“I know. Trust me, I know. I haven’t been fair to you, Bucky, and I’m sorry for that,” she takes a step closer, but he holds out a hand.

“Why? I spent all this time chasing after you, and time after time you tell me no, but suddenly you’re in love with me? I just don’t get it,” he isn’t trying to be mean, but there are tears welling up in her eyes and she’s backing away from him, hugging herself. “Hey…”

“I’ve been so afraid! Bucky, I’m sorry, okay? I’ve been hurt, real bad, by someone I thought who loved me. He said things, nasty things, and I swore to myself I would never fall in love again. But then you came along!” she gestures to him and laughs through her tears. “Always making me laugh and calling me pretty, and remembering the things I like, and bringing me leftovers when I don’t come to dinner,” she wipes the tears quickly away and tries to swallow the lump in her throat.

Everything clicks in his brain. It all makes sense now. Bucky curses himself for not noticing it sooner, the pain she was in. “Shit, doll, I’m sorry, I shoulda realized.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. You did everything right. I should’ve told you. I just kept thinking ‘why me?’, ya know? Why would he ever want me? Stupid, broken, little me,” she avoids his eyes, toeing the damp towel on the floor by the end of the bed.

“Hey, don’t say that,” he comes closer and brings her into his arms, wrapping an arm around her waist and a hand in her hair. She buries her face in the crook of his neck. “There’s always been something about you,” he chuckles, thankful she can’t see the burning of his cheeks. “I think you might be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He laughs at her muffled ‘yeah right’ into his neck. “I’m serious! You’re gorgeous, and funny, and kind, and you always know the right thing to say. How anyone could ever hurt you is beyond me.”

She pulls away just enough to look into his eyes. “You really mean all of that?”

He nods. “Of course. I haven’t spent all this time chasing after you just for the hell of it.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad?” he brushes a stray tear from her cheek and leaves his palm there, smiling when she leans into it.

“For wasting your time?”

“Any time spent with you is no time wasted.”

Her heart leaps. “Shit, Bucky,” she presses her forehead into his and they both laugh. “James Buchanan Barnes? I’m in love with you.”

His eyes fall closed as he takes in those words. “I have been waiting so long for you to say that.” He smiles, so soft and delicate. His eyes are searching hers, warm palm pressed to her jaw, calloused thumb brushing her cheek. It’s like time has slowed now. Like they’re the only two people in the world, in this little room.

He’s looking right at her, studying her expression for any reason to pull away, to stop what he’s about to do. There’s no rush, no urgency, just the desire to be close, to feel the touch of another. He leans closer, and her tongue darts out to moisten her lips. His eyes follow the action, and he hesitates. He nudges her nose with the tip of his, running it along the bridge. His stubble scratches her upper lip, and she twists his shirt in her grasp. All she wants to do is pull him as close as she can, to savor the feeling of their bodies pressed together. 

It’s amazing how suddenly- in the span of just a couple of moments- someone can realize that the person standing right in front of them is everything they’ve ever wanted, everything they’ll ever need. Bucky pulls back just an inch to look into her eyes again, and what he sees there must convince him, finally, for he presses his lips to hers. Delicate at first, then more firm. He sucks in a breath through his nose, his hand pulling her close, the other wrapping in the hair at the base of her neck, tilting her head back further. 

She sighs out a quiet moan, savoring the taste of his lips, the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around her. Her heart clenches in her chest, and she knows this kiss will seal her fate. She loves him. God, how she loves him.

I’m hooked on all these feelings

I know exactly how I’m feelin’

This love asylum, like an island, just me and you

She pulls back to catch her breath, looking into his eyes and they share intense contact for a few seconds. “Wow…”

Bucky chuckles, right thumb tracing the skin of her exposed hip. “Wow is right.”

She bites her lip to try to fight the smile, but it’s useless. “I love you,” she whispers.

“I love you, too.” Bucky thinks he will never get used to the way those words sound coming from her mouth, especially directed towards him.

She looks at him for a moment, eyes tracing every line of his face, before bringing a hand up to rest on his chin. Something shifts in her expression, and it causes the air in the room to change. She presses herself closer to him, if that were even possible. “Bucky… make love to me.”

His heart stops. When he woke up this morning, those were the very last words he imagined coming from her mouth. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life. I love you, Bucky, and I want you,” her voice lowers and it sends a shiver down his spine.

He nods, “Okay.”

It’s like a switch is flipped, and everything is sent into overdrive. Their lips connect again, this time more forcefully, tongues dancing in tandem. Bucky has her shirt halfway up her torso, so she breaks away to pull it over her head, tossing it to the floor. He takes a moment to admire her, softly caressing her skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. She’s not wearing a bra, and she’s even more beautiful than he ever imagined.

His lips are on her jaw, her neck, her collarbone, anywhere he can reach, fingers rolling and tweaking her nipples until she’s moaning and shivering in his arms. She’s making the best damn sounds he’s ever heard, every single one of them shooting straight down between his thighs. Her hands are in his hair, over his shoulder, on his arms. They can’t get enough of each other.

She’s reaching down now, nails scratching his stomach through his shirt until she’s at his belt, unbuckling it and pulling it through the loops. It drops to the floor with a dull thud, and he pulls his shirt over his head to follow quickly after. Lips pressed together again, teeth gnashing in their fervor. He picks her up from the floor with a quick squeal and deposits her on the bed, crawling in over her. Things slow for a moment, and he looks into her eyes, one hand cradling her head. “You’re breathtaking,” he kisses her slow and deep, trailing fire down her neck to her exposed chest and stomach. He’s kissing and sucking and biting everywhere he can reach. His hands trail after his kisses, surpassing them to linger at the waistband of her cotton shorts. He looks up at her through his lashes to gauge her reaction. Sensing no hesitation, he slowly pushes them down, and she lifts her hips to make it easier for him. They join the other clothes on the floor.

“You sure you still want this?”

“Yes, god, yes!”

Bucky chuckles and places a wet kiss just above her mound, trailing them down then around where she wanted him most to kiss down her thigh and up the other one.

She sighs wantonly. “You’re good at this.”

“And you’re good at making me want you.” He tucks his fingers into the waistband and starts pulling them down agonizingly slow. She moans at his words. Every sound she makes goes straight to his cock.

She’s already wet for him as he spreads her lips with two fingers, groaning at the sight. He leans in close and blows gently on her clit, making her jerk and giggle. He revels in the sound. His tongue flicks out to glide along her lower lips, avoiding her most sensitive parts, teasing her to drive her wild. He runs his index finger just outside her clenching hole, collecting her juices. She was on the verge of begging before he finally placed a broad lick from her opening to her clit.

She moans loudly and arches her back. He groans at the sound and taste of her, gripping her thighs to keep her still as he closes his mouth around her clit, sucking gently. He starts flicking his tongue, switching from quick flicks to long licks, until she’s dripping for him. She’s growing increasingly louder, and he’s grinding his hips into the mattress to find friction.

He pulls away and licks his lips. He pushes in one finger, then another, scissoring them in and out, curling them up at the end of each stroke to find that special spot. He uses his tongue on her clit again, slowly licking and flicking it to build tension until she’s clenching around his fingers, hips rising off the bed. “Oh, shit, Bucky! Fuck, don’t stop! I’m gonna cum,” true to her word, seconds later, she comes around his fingers, hands gripping his hair, hips bucking up into his face until she goes still, chest rising and falling rapidly.

He licks her up before kissing his way back up her stomach, sucking and nibbling her nipples before taking her mouth again. She can taste herself on him, and she moans, wrapping her thighs around his waist. Bucky reaches down with one hand and pushes his briefs down just enough to free his throbbing cock. “Fuck, darlin’, I need ya bad.” As he pushes in, stretching her walls around him, she knows she’s in for a long night.

Spent the night, you got me high

Oh, what did you do?

I’m hooked on all these feelings

~~

Extended Ending - The Next Morning

She finds Nat, Steve, and Sam in her kitchen as she stumbles out of her room the next morning, barely even able to walk after the night she had. She wishes she’d put more clothes on, instead of just Bucky’s shirt from last night and clean panties. Bucky. Oh, yeah. She can’t keep the smile from her face no matter how hard she tries.

The three of them are having a conversation as she fixes a bowl of cereal, thoughts filled with memories of the night before, stomach swimming with desire for more. “What’s got you all smiley this morning?” Sam asks, breaking her from her thoughts.

Her spoon clinks loudly against the bowl as she wipes the smile from her face and looks up to find the three of them smirking at her. Her face is on fire. She can feel it. She wants the world to swallow her. “Uh… nothing?”

As if the universe wants to mock her, Bucky chooses this moment to stumble into the kitchen, bed hair a complete, endearing mess, blearily rubbing his eyes. He seems not to notice the three guests as he walks straight toward her, kisses her on the mouth, and says simply, “Good mornin’.”

A beat of silence passes. “Well, shit. It’s about damn time!” Sam shouts,  startling Bucky so much he drops the box of cereal onto the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to like, comment, or reblog if you did. (Please do not repost!)

[bates--boy]

Peter was just about done with work that day, cleaning the bottles for the infant animals when his phone buzzed in his pockets. He shut the sink off, yanked off the wet rubber gloves, and pulled his device out of his pocket. “Oh!” he chirped, seeing the name of the sender.

         [Naseem] Yo, Pete, it’s Naz. Was wondering if you have plans for lunch today? 

         [Naseem] I wanted us to do some extra rap practice and maybe go over the lines between Troy and Stefan before our big night

          Peter turned to sit back against the lip of the sink, hugging one of his arms across his torso as he typed. 

          [Peter] i have a half-day today so i’m free once i clock out at twelve.

          [Peter] i’d be happy to buy you lunch if you haven’t eaten yet. i know a great place to get a bite to eat.

          [Naseem] Bet. My break’s half past noon. See you at your work?

         [Peter] fine by me! see ya!

          Smiling at the screen before shoving his phone into his pocket, Peter finished cleaning the rest of the bottles, went to the changing area to wiggle out of the waterproof overalls, and then to the employee area to punch out at the time clock and fetch his hoodie and his copy of the stage play from his locker. He looked down at the practically beaten-up book, some pages curled in, corners folded, colorful tabs poking out of the pages: pink for Josef’s spoken lines, blue for Troy’s; green for Josef’s songs, yellow for Troy’s. Slightly crinkled from the times Peter shoved it into his bag to carry at all times, or when he had his quick bursts of sleep while reading over the thing.

          With a quick cleaning at the employee basin, Peter made a brisk walk back to the grounds, heading to the entrance area. He sent a quick message of his location and waited with the play lying open, quietly murmuring Josef’s verses. Soon, the familiar deep blue XC60 rolled onto the lot, with the Nigerian, Palestinian, and Swedish flags painted across the back. Naseem climbed out and waved as he strolled over, a leather messenger bag slung over his shoulder and his copy of the play rolled in his hand. When he drew close enough, Naseem said, “Wow, it’s been a while since I last came here.”

           “Ah, so you probably don’t know about the new aerial arts performance they have here,” Peter grinned as they walked back to the conservatory grounds together. 

         Naseem shrugged. “I have. And I’ve been meaning to come check it out, but, you know. Schedule..”

          “Well, the next time you’re free, come on over! I can even sneak you in for a show!” Peter nudged his shoulder against Naseem.

           “How are you gonna--” Naseem stopped once he saw the coy grin on Peter’s face. “Lemme guess: you’re the star?”

          “One of them.” Peter bobbed his shoulder and looked away in faux modesty. He giggled and patted Naseem’s arm. “Come on, I know a great picnic area we can practice in.”

          Peter and Naseem took the stroll to the benches, dodging giggling little kids darting everywhere to get to the next animal enclosure that caught their eye, and the wandering animals that escaped their habitats, mainly small bird and marsupial species. After Peter bought them both bottled smoothies at one of the snack kiosks, they settled at a table near the wooden fence post, drawing annoyed glances from passersby as they sat on the tabletop instead of the benches.

         “Which scenes do you want to practice today?” Peter asked before pulling a long draught from his bottle. “We can just do a couple so I can treat you to lunch.”

          Naseem skimmed the pages he had marked, going back and forth and shrugging. “Ones that have our characters singing so we can work these vocal cords. Let’s start with...” he consulted his shorthand notes. “Act III, scene 4. So, my character comes up to yours.”

          Naseem clambered down the picnic table, took a few steps away, and stomped back. The chills Peter felt may or may not have to do with the complete switch of energy Naseem made. Even his green eyes flared with fury.

          “Why the hell did you do that to Josef?!”

          Peter sighed as his character did, shifting on the table and leaning forward on his knees. So cool and unaffected, to the point of almost being despondent. Peter still couldn’t figure this Troy out, but he spoke his lines.

          “I didn’t do a thing to him, Stef.”

           Naseem crossed his arms and tilted his head. “Oh, really? So when he said no to that stage deal because ‘his mom’s gonna die alone in their apartment while he’s out singing for pocket change’, that wasn’t you?” Peter had to pause here, as Troy struggled to find an excuse. Naseem threw up his arms. “God, what is wrong with you?! What kind of a friend are you?!”

          “A realistic one.” Peter’s tone remained calm, stoic - a stoner too mellowed out to get worked up.

          Naseem rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. Realistic. Jo finally had what he needed right in his lap, and you couldn’t even be supportive of him because you’re realistic. That’s bull crap, even for you.”

          “You can say whatever you want about me, Stef, but of all these people feeding him these wild dreams --” Peter swept his hand about, gesturing to a figurative crowd while a few eyes turned their way. He pointed to his own chest. “--I’m the only one looking out for him.”

           “No, looking out for him would be helping him with this. He has a chance to get a better life, but you don't want that for him!"

          "I don't--?!" Peter gave a scoffing laughing and rolled his eyes. "You're so far off, it's funny!"

           "Yeah? So all this time you kept telling him to don't do it, it's not because you know you're wasting your own life being some bum mad that you lost your trust fund and you're angry that Josef can make it?"

          "No!" Peter's voice started to boil, Troy's cool, arrogant façade starting to crack and chip. His free hand curled into a shaking fist.

          "Then why? Why are you being such a shitty friend?!"

          Out of the corner of his eye, Peter could see a uniformed figure walking up to them, parents trying to distract their kids from the argument.

          "Because this would break him just like it almost did me!"

          In a blink of an eye, and a sudden flush of heat on his cheeks, Peter was on his feet, too, feeling Troy's despair as he and Naseem were practically nose to nose. For all the anger, the anguish, and the overprotective adrenaline Troy was supposed to feel at that moment, Peter channeled the underlying heartache and exhaustion; he sounded tired.

          "Like it did my sister."

          "Er, excuse me," the uniformed man said when he came close enough, a hand reaching out to them. "Is there a prob--"

          Naseem stared at Peter for a breath. "Your sister?"

          Peter gave a soft, sad laugh. "Oh, that's right, I never told you about Anna, did I?" He silently filled his lungs with air.

You don't know the story of a boy and a girl Mommy pleasers destined to dominate the world

           The worker looked between the two men, casting an especially long glance at the singing one. "...What?"

Born to hold the dreams that Mommy tucked away Cause she got bare footed and pregnant Waiting on her someday

          The worker furrowed his brows. “What is--” he spotted the open scripts in their hands and lowered his own hand. “Oh... okay...”

         Peter felt a tickle of a grin almost appearing on his lips, amusement almost breaking his character. Almost.

Commercial deals, toddlers on every single ad Barely out of diapers, and we’re out there selling fads Taught to walk so we could tap dance and do a twirl And hold our hands out for all the gold, silver, and pearls

Yanked outta school when the lime lights calling us Daddy got you a gig, so you better not fucking fuss! Tuck in your gut, tilt up your chin, chest out and sing You’re gonna make it worth taking this diamond ring

What you do with heavy makeup and cameras flashing? Swallow cotton and pinch our cheeks red to stay dashing Seeing enemies in friends looking for a ladder to climb Trying to bring you to ruin when they find the right time To strike, like vipers on the hunt for your big juicy kill And the only way to stop the cracks is a tiny yellow pill

A tiny yellow pill A tiny yellow pill A handful of tiny yellow pills Until her heart went still

          Naseem slowly started to unfold his arms, his character Stefan hit with a world-shattering realization. “Oh...”

          Peter turned his face away. “Yeah...”

         Naseem shook his head and sighed. “Man, I’m... I’m sorry. But, see, here’s the thing...”

 I had never known you were crushed this hard Ruled by your fears, beaten, tattered, and battle scarred Now that I think it, so much shit start to make sense Is this why a little stage work gets you so incensed?

I hate that for you, all this pain you’ve been burdened Chasing a high and identity that doesn’t leave you hurtin’ But it’s unfair how you hurt Josef with your sister’s ghost Breaking a dream for someone else’s overdose

What does it do for the person on the other spectrum Piss poor, tryna get meds for his ailing, dying mum When even his close friend is robbing him of a dream Cuz he can’t stop himself from falling apart at the seam? Still blinded by phantom lights, suffocating at the gills? What about Josef’s mum little pills?

Her little pills Her life saving pills If she don’t get hers, then her heart will stand still.

          This was the part where Peter is stunned into silence, indignant, hurt, scrambling for more excuses, still trying to cling to the death of his sister -- the crux of Troy’s listlessness and indifference. But then a loud cry rang out around them.

          The crowd of mere picnickers grew during their rehearsal, it seemed, now cheering and clapping and whistling, someone even going “You tell him, baby!”

          Stuttering, Peter looked towards Naseem and exchanged smiles with him. They stood closer together, held hands, and took a bow.

          “Thank you, thank you!” Peter called out, waving to the cell phones held out. “If you want more, purchase tickets for Inner City Lights before they sell out!”

          “Written and produced by Gunnar Didig!” Naseem added, calling out the website to purchase over the hooting and whistling.

[oingo233]

By The Lake*Part Four

Summary:  A family friend offers you a place to stay to get away from an abusive past.  Her home is a place that you are familiar with, an old town with a large lake you spent many days in. You went there years ago for one full summer, where you became close friends with a very young Daryl Dixon.  You two were inseparable until you had to leave.  But now you’re back, escaping from a past much like his.  You will need to weave your way through the town's problematic people, your own problems, and above all the confusing Dixon.  Will you two find your way back to each other again?  Or will he push you further away?  And above all, will your past cease to haunt you?

Part one * Part Two * Part Three * Part Five

Pairing: Young Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and violence(potential triggers), cussing, more mature themes(not smut or anything tho), slow burn romance

Authors Note: Daryl Dixon is a character from the amazing show The Walking Dead, but this story is modern AU so not with all the walkers and everything.  I don’t own and I didn’t create his character.  Also this story is in no means meant to romanticize abuse, that stuff isn’t romantic. It is such a terrible, terrible thing, but it is sadly a very common thing as well.  Throughout this series I only hope that I can spread awareness about the matter, and let people know that they aren’t alone, things will get better, and that no one is deserving of any kind of abuse. Ever. Anyways, I’m done with my rant, I hope y’all like it, and if not please send in some constructive criticisms I’m always looking to improve.

Word Count: 1.9k

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That night at dinner, Rosie and Monty wouldn’t stop talking about the fun day we had at the lake.  I showed Mark and Cherry the million of photos I took.  They were all Polaroids and Cherry put one on the fridge, it was one with Rosie in Monty's lap on the dinosaur floatie, and Rosie was laughing while Monty waved.  I kept a couple for myself, like the selfie I took with the two of them, Rosie pulled a sassy face and Monty smiled, showing his chipped front tooth.  That one made us all laugh.  

I can’t help but look around at all their faces and feel my heart swell, they were my family away from home, their kindness and joy becoming my own.  I have to admit, I did have my worries about coming here.  I cried the night before, thinking of how I’ll miss my family so much, and my friends...but it was best to distance myself from home.  Too many bad memories, and too many risks.  Cherry catches me staring and smiles, a look in her eyes asking if I was okay.

I laugh to myself and nod to her, the private moment only deepening my feelings.  “Thank you guys, so much.”  I blurt out, making the table suddenly quite.  The kids looked confused but Mark and Cherry beamed.

“Of course, you’re family.  Well, to us anyway.”  Cherry's says, Mark takes her hand and agrees, sending me a warm look.  

“Well, I was thinking, to thank you guys, I can run in to town and pick up anything you guys need.  Mark, you mentioned earlier today about all the food y’all needed to get?”  Mark shifted in his seat, thinking.

“Yeah, I can make a list.”  He says, relaxing into his chair.  Cherry sends him a look and he sits up a bit more.  “But don’t feel like you have to.  Only go if you want to, of course.”  Cherry nods discreetly and I roll my eyes.

“Yes, I want to help.  And although I love it here, I wouldn’t mind going into town for a while.” 

“Then it’s settled, you can use my car tomorrow.  It’s the weekend so I won’t need it.” Cherry says.  And it was settled.  I went to bed, unpacking a few things first, and when I woke up I ate breakfast with everyone.  Mark made me a list, drawing a smiley face at the bottom, and Cherry gave me her keys with a list of other things they need, and some money.

It has been hours since I left the house, and hours of me walking around town. A few things have changed, for instance, the grocery store.  It used to be on the first street you see when you pull into town, but now it was nowhere to be found.  I wander around, no doubt looking more lost than a shipwrecked sailor, when three boys around my own age, approached me.  

Two of the boys looked nearly the exact same with their matching blonde hair and brown eyes. Only difference is that one had his ears pierced, it was clear to see they were twins.  They trailed a few steps behind a boy with shaggy brown hair, and green eyes.  He looked boyish, and clean, maybe even a little cute, I think to myself.  He looks me up and down, then glances back at the two boys, I didn’t miss the way they smirked, or how uncomfortable I was suddenly feeling.

“Excuse me...”  I say, emotionless but strong, as I try to get around them.

“Not so fast sweetheart, we just want to help ya.”  He says smoothly.  The twins both echo “yeahs” and “sweetheart”.  The nickname making me sick, Carter used to call me the same thing.  Suddenly, all that strength I thought I had, faded away from me.  I was just the same girl I used to be, stuck in a room with Carter, my head throbbing as he had just slapped me.  It felt like I was back there, and my breathing increased tenfold.

“Ya alright?”  The green eyed boy asked, reaching for me.  I pull back and whisper for him to get away, but he didn’t hear it, I was too quite.

“Hey, hey it’s okay.  Lets just sit down, yeah?”  The boy asked me, and his two friends shared a nervous look.  I nod and tuck my hands in towards my chest as I sit down and try to steady my breathing.  I felt my cheek, it didn’t hurt, my head didn’t throb.  I look at the boys, they didn’t look like Carter.  I wasn’t there anymore, I was safe.  Then why didn’t I feel like it?

“I’m Devin, this is Jack and Joe.”  He says, Jake had the earing and Joe was leaning behind me, rubbing my back, which at the time I didn’t find comforting at all.   I smile at him falsely, and stand up.  Devin and Joe stand up, while Jake stares at me as if I was crazy, but those looks didn’t faze me anymore.

“Thanks.”  I say, they all nod stiffly. Devin steps closer to me and peers at the list in my hand.

“Lost?”  

“Yeah...”  I chuckle.  “Know where  Ross’s super market is by any chance?” Devin gives me a smile that felt too big, and steps forwards again.

“Sure I do sweetheart...” I cut him off. 

“Could you not call me that please?”  He arches an eyebrow, laughing with his friends at me.  

He goes to speak and while he does he steps even closer to me, I take a step back to give us distance.  He keeps getting closer and closer, that bad feeling in my stomach coming back.

“Why, sweetheart...” He mocks, his friends laugh obnoxiously again. He takes a quick step towards me and grabs my wrist with one hand, he gently caresses my upper arm with the other and whispers in my ear. “You tryna tell me you have a rotten heart?  Are you a bad girl?” His voice low and teasing. My throat constricts right at the same time I’m supposed to tell him to fuck off, and my body freezes right when I thought I was going to kick him in the balls. I’m frozen, everything my mind wants to do to this prick isn’t communicating to my body.  Why am I back at being this girl!  I think desperately.  His friends laughter rings in the silence of the next few seconds.  

Devin doesn’t stop touching my arm.  Devin needs to stop, I don’t like it, I repeat this thought until it sinks in and I feel so repulsed that my body finally functions again.  

“Get the fuck off of me, you creep!”  I yell, trying to push him off.  His one hand tightened around my wrist, and the other motioned to his friends, two fingers wiggling back and forth, like beckoning hounds to feed.  I scratch at his hand and scream. But I was at the end of the sidewalk, that led out to farm land and no body was around.  

I look back at the twins desperately, but they weren’t approaching me, they were backing away.  Their faces ashen.   I don’t have time to look behind me before a shadow is cast over my shoulder and in seconds my wrist feels lighter. I pull it into my chest and caress the bruising skin, watching wide eyed as Devin is sprawled on the ground holding his bleeding nose.  I turn around to see who did it.

Daryl is shaking out his hand, face twisted in rage.  He advances on Devin.

“The fuck you doing boy!”  Daryl yells, grabbing Devins bloody collar and punching him again. He is on top of him now, fists red and bloody. “You touching girls now?  You hurtin ‘em!”  Daryl booms, Devin whimpers and shakes his head no.  Daryl punches him twice, each time harder than before.  “Don’t fucking lie to me.”  He seethes.  

“Daryl...” I say lowly, glancing around at all the towns people that now conveniently had come out to watch.  I feel terrible, if only I did something, or followed my gut, then none of this would have happened. No, I tell myself, I can’t punish myself for others mistakes. I didn’t feel bad for the pricks, but for Daryl.  Now everyone was going to curse the Dixon name even more.  I watch them whispering, and now, so did Daryl.  With a deep breath, and a hostile look to Devin, he climbs off of him.  

He turns towards the twins, who were trying to look calmer than they felt no doubt.  “What!”  Daryl yells at them, stepping forwards.  “You think ya innocent.  Nah you pricks ain’t nothing.  Get outta here!”  He roars, the twins help lift up Devin, and run off.  Daryl yells after them.  “Don’t get near her again, ya hear!”  

Daryl ignores the crowd and finds his way back to me, his face visibly kinder.  “You a’right, they hurt ya?”  He ask me, looking at me threw his lashes, his face pointed towards my arm as he lightly reaches for it.  He lightly holds the tips of my fingers, barely touching me, as he moves my arm around to get a better look.  We’re quite as he inspects the damage, it isn’t too bad.  The skin is red and puffy, I know it will bruise.  Daryl, very lightly, traces a finger over it.  His face hard again.

“It’ll bruise.”  He says.

“I know.  But they could have done worse...thank you Daryl.”  He drops my hand and stares at me, a conflicting look across his face. That’s when I see it.  On his right eye, the size of my palm, is a painful looking black eye.  “Oh Daryl.” I sigh, reaching up to touch it, as if that would make it better.  Daryl's features turn cold again, and he shoves my hand away.

“Get off me girl.” He grumbles, before turning his back and walking through the whispering crowd alone.  Before he gets too far I call out to him.

“Daryl wait!”  He stops walking, and looks back at me from over his tense shoulder. I run to catch up with him and say. “You need anything, anything at all, you come around.  I’m staying at the cabin at Cherry's.  Ya know, ‘big green’“ I quote the nick name Daryl and I gave the cabin years ago.  He just nods stiffly and walks off, his head somehow standing tall and tucked away shyly at the same time.  

My heart was beating fast, and I held my hand against it.  Everything could have been so much worse if Daryl hadn’t stepped in.  A warm gratefulness, and odd affection filled me for the ass-kickin, stubborn boy.  

Mrs.Henderson came rushing towards me, she looks me over and places a soft, wrinkled hand on my shoulder.  “Oh dear, that Dixon boy didn’t hurt you did he?”  She kept talking before I had the chance.  “Cause I have the police on speed dial, they’re familiar with the likes of his kind.  Ya know those Dixon’s ain’t any good.  Here, let me see that wrist.”  She grabs my hand roughly, and doesn’t bother being soft as she touches my wrist.  I can’t help but think how Daryl was the supposed bad boy, yet he treated me gentler than this old lady.  

I pull my hand away, frowning at her.  “Thank you ma’am, but Daryl was actually the one to help me.  It was those three boys being rude, Daryl helped me.”  I said the last part slower so she could let it sink in.  She bit her lip, looking doubtful. I just hoped people in this town could see how Daryl was better then he let on, softer than he seemed.  But from the look on Mrs. Hendersons face, I knew that was far from a possibility.  I went about the rest of my shopping in a bad mood.

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[smolbeandrabbles]

Faster Gun - Payne x Reader (Slow West)

@wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​ @wrenx02​ #MendoTagSquad

Payne + 21 - “I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.” Requested by @sufferthesea​ (Happy belated 25th Birthday!!)

Author’s Note: The first fic of my 100 Sentence prompt requests! I hope you enjoy all of these, and what I’ve done with the sentences you’ve chosen! 😁 Or... I guess in the case, the sentence you let me choose! (Line highlighted!) Please enjoy! 💙🙏💜

Faster Gun - Little Big Town

Disclaimer: Slow West Characters not mine / gif not mine / lyrics not mine

Premise: You didn’t ever exactly want a tour guide, but Payne didn’t give you much a choice. That’s alright with you, he’s about to find out you can put up a hell of a fight...

Words: 2202

Warnings: Swearing / ...ehhhh, like a tiny little bit of sexual banter

______ You walk in six gun style Put another bullet in the chamber with your smile You move in and you don't stop Till your pretty little finger pulls the trigger and the hammer drops Cold steel, gun powder kiss Livin' for the taste of new blood on your lips Your high noon is a midnight moon Puttin' every Jesse James to shame with your killshot move Love for you is like a wild west movie You always end up on the run You draw quick and your aim is deadly And then you ride off in the sun Someday I hope you find a faster gun ---

You’d never particularly liked frequenting saloon bars when you travelled. Always too much trouble for a girl like you to get into. Even in the company of someone else, your eyes still darted from table to table before you even considered settling down at the bar. Payne didn’t really care much for that, all he wanted was a glass of something. You followed him slowly, checking that everyone else was keeping to themselves before you sat beside him, satisfied. “Don’t know why you think you’re so special, darlin’ – No one’s paying you any mind.” You folded your arms with a scoff as you regarded him – considering the kind of vulgar commentary he’d been running as he escorted you, you were sure at least one person in here thought you were worth the attention he was giving. Even when it was unwelcomed. He wouldn’t be your first choice of escort. You just happened to be a victim of circumstance. Payne had caught you off guard, repacking your things after your night at camp – and you knew he was trouble from the second you saw that smug little smirk; “Well, well, what do we have here?” You were a quick draw, but unfortunately his gun was already cocked and aimed at you. You narrowed your eyes at him, “Why don’t you just move on-!?” “And leave a girl like you all alone out here?” He gestured, not daring to take his eyes off you just in case you ended up being a decent shot, “Why don’t you let me escort you.” He didn’t expect the venom in your spat reply; “Fuck you, I’m fine alone. Probably better that way.” Your eyes traced him for a moment; he certainly looked like a whole lot of trouble. “Now, is that any way to talk to someone who is offering safe passage West?” “I don’t need your help!” You said, through gritted teeth. But it was obvious neither of you were going to budge on this. “We appear to have reached an impasse, darlin’.” “DON’T call me darling-!” That only riled you further, but apparently it only amused him. “Well you got two options, you come with me – to wherever you’re headed… or I could just kill you.” You raised an eyebrow; “Yeah, I’d like to see you try.” Although if you were honest you didn’t see the point of coming all this way just for some opportunistic asshole to shoot you. Still, neither of you were giving an inch, so you decided to be the bigger person and holster your pistol, taking it just a little on faith that he wouldn’t actually just kill you now. He didn’t, and placed his own away. You were still watching him warily as you mounted your horse. “So, where’s a pretty thing like you headed, anyhow?” You shrugged, ignoring the ‘compliment’; “Maybe the mountains… maybe I just want to know what’s beyond them.” Although your eyes flicked suspiciously to him; he better not think he was taking you all the way there. “Why would you want to escort me?” “I wouldn’t mind the company-” Your eyes narrowed and you cut in sharply before he got any further “If you think for one second that I-” “Ah! Now there’s an idea.” He smirked, and then laughed at your expression; “Now, I don’t think I caught your name, sweetheart? I’m Payne.” “Y/N.” He liked that, but not the glare you were giving him, “And I’m NOT your sweetheart.” “Can’t blame me for trying…” He urged his horse to fall inline with yours; “I think we’re gonna be good friends, Y/N.” You hated that he insisted on giving that slightly sexual edge to your name, and gave it about 2 hours before it pissed you off enough to want to kill him. Irked you even more that Payne suggested you’d be ‘friends’. Instead you kept your gaze ahead of you, and your voice steady; “We’ll see.” You constantly let him know that you weren’t overly impressed with your predicament, and for the first couple of days you were cold and distant. Payne liked running his mouth, and you were very nearly the opposite until you could trust someone to tell them anything. Obviously it was wise not to trust him as far as you could throw him. “Not very talkative are ya?” As if to prove his point, you responded only by shooting him a look. But as you were forced to spend your time with him, you found yourself warming to Payne’s ways. He still annoyed you, but you found yourself at least partial to liking him. And the more you found your attitude changing, the more talkative you got. Which pleased him no end. He was something of an awful flirt though, and you revelled in the opportunity to coldly shut him down when he took it a step too far. Payne never slipped into anything more than words, which was a good choice on his part (and he knew it) because you’d have killed him on the spot, even if you had to do it with your bare hands. Still, he noticed that in groups of people you were always uneasy, how you’d move a little closer to him. Payne never asked why that was, and he wasn’t sure you’d respond to him even if he did. Especially as on the times you’d both run into trouble you were a quicker shot than even he was. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed – but it was yet another question Payne wouldn’t be voicing. Who’d taught you to be that good? Why would a girl like you ever feel the need to be that good? Your unease made him conscientious enough to make sure that your rest breaks in towns were minimal – but sometimes he just needed the respite of not having to set up camp. So now you found yourself at the bar, where he ordered you two glasses of absinthe – this also came of no great surprise to you, considering how much of it he drank. Having said that, he’d built up a tolerance to it, and you were more than just a little careful with your measures. “You tryna kill me?” “I’d say it was probably the opposite!” Payne clinked his glass to yours and took a sip “Mmmh. Yeah that’s good stuff.” You shook your head at him slowly and turned to your glass, studying everything from the measure to the shade of green. Before he nudged you, “Look, Y/N! Will you just drink the damn thing or I’ll do it for you!” “I’m getting to it!” You pushed him back with a smile, “Give a girl a sec-!” As you continued laughing to yourselves, you’d created quite the stir in the rest of the saloon. It was quiet between tables – and now your guard was down and you were drinking. See, the reason you were so wary of everyone else was you had a substantial bounty on your head. A lot of people you’d had the misfortune to meet knew this – and there wasn’t one that wouldn’t take advantage of the opportunity to take such a bounty for themselves. Considering you knew Payne was a bounty hunter (one of the many things he’d casually mentioned during your many conversations) you were surprised he didn’t know. Or that wasn’t the reason he’d picked you up in the first place; either that or he was playing the long game, and if he was you were impressed. The whispers began to stir, and although you were listening to your companion you were aware of the strange hostility suddenly building in the room. Ah, shit. The hand not tipping your drink back reached to click the safety off your pistol. Payne clapped his hand to your shoulder; “Thata girl!” causing you to almost spit the bright green alcohol all over the bar. You swallowed with a cough and were about to turn to him to offer your sarcastic thanks, when in the bottom of the glass you caught the reflection of movement behind you. “SHIT!” You exclaimed, slamming the glass on the bar you whipped around – your shot rang out, but he wasn’t alone. You realised maybe a little too late that the whole saloon was up on its feet. You have GOT to be kidding-!? But you didn’t have much time to think beyond your trigger finger and your bullets flew in rapid succession; before you ran out of them and immediately turned to Payne – who was both stunned and useless. Snatching his gun (thankful it was loaded) you dispatched a few more, movement across the bar allowing you to dodge flying bullets and take a little bit of cover whilst collecting further scores of loaded weapons. All the while you noticed that Payne would rather sit back and watch; and wasn’t taking any fire himself. That only lead to you jumping to obvious conclusions; Asshole! I KNEW IT! The last shot rang out and the final body collapsed onto the floor; you stood shakily and brushed yourself down, blowing out a breath. “What a mess…” “Fucking extraordinary, though.” Your eyes flicked to Payne, still sitting on the bar stool – eyes wide and slow blinking as he surveyed the damage. Your pistol arm shot up immediately to turn his own gun straight at him. Payne bolted from his seat hands up; “WOAH! Y/N! Don’t take this the wrong way-!” “You expect me to believe you didn’t have something to do with this-!?” “Why would you think that-!?” “They didn’t appear to be shooting at YOU!” The accusation in your voice was apparent. “They were all so interested in you-!” As you kept walking towards him he paced backwards; he had no line of defence. “How did so many know I was going to be here, huh?” “That’s bad luck! That’s not on me, when have I had time to tell anyone?!” “You have a group, that’s what you said…” Your eyes flashed and your finger didn’t falter on that trigger. Payne inclined his head, yeah he had a gang, but he hadn’t seen them for a while since he was busy with you. Then his eyes flicked back to the barrel of the pistol, realising there were more pressing issues at hand. “But you wouldn’t want to waste a bullet, right?” You raised an eyebrow; “Huh?” He grinned, “I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.” Then cleared his throat; “I mean, that’s not something you have to test – you should know it’s the truth.” He waved his hands towards everyone else, “They all knew, that’s why they didn’t bother.” You very nearly laughed, but instead kept walking, hand steady; “Uh huh. Which is why you don’t want me to shoot you?” “Like I say, waste of precious resources… clearly you need ‘em.” You were a few steps from him now, hard look in your eyes that he couldn’t place. Angry and powerful; and had certainly just proved yourself a formidable force. “I’m impressed, though.” You didn’t think he needed to voice it, behind the slight fear in his eyes that you were quite capable of pulling that trigger, his expression said it all; fairly soon it faded to a cocky little smirk; “So, you have a bounty!” “Yeah.” By now the barrel of the gun was against Payne’s chest, and he had to be very careful with his choice of words if he didn’t want to end up like the rest of the patrons. “I do.” “Well, I don’t know about that, but I suggest that maybe you aught to tell the guy you hired as an escort that kind of information before he took you all the way across the West, huh?” You flashed a smirk of your own; “Wow, tell a bounty hunter I have a bounty. Sounds like a smart move for a girl trying to be careful.” By now the metal was digging into his skin, and Payne really had to hope against hope that you were being playful. You drew a breath, and that smirk become a sweet smile, blink bringing your eyes back to the gentle warmth he sometimes caught a glimpse of; “It’s good I like you.” “Oh? Why’s that?” Payne didn’t need to ask, because suddenly you’d yanked him to your lips by his coat. Your grip was strong, and even if he’d have wanted to Payne couldn’t have pulled away. Instead he went where you dragged him, arms winding around you and hands firm on your body – you knew he wouldn’t leave them respectful. You didn’t give a damn though; right now you wanted him wherever he’d place them and the kiss became hot, hungry and passionate as you backed him into the bar. He growled into the kiss, pulling back for just a second, eyebrow raised. That smug smirk of his hasn’t really dissipated; “So that’s how it is, huh?” His eyes flicked to the back of the room, and that look on his face became suggestive; “Y’know… this place has guest rooms.” You sighed with a gentle head shake; “Payne. Just shut the fuck up for once in your life and keep kissing me, damn it!”

--- Thank you for Requesting!! Thank you for reading!! 😘😘😘

1/16 down!

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 5

oh dear

Though she’d had time to slip back into her shoes and soothe away the immediate pain of Emerald’s silence, the journey here had left her no less raw, a persistent frown curling her lips.

i said this last time but i’m still really enjoying the cinder narration we’re getting in the remaster... i also know it’s what really will be the final nail in my coffin, but c’est la vie.

of course it means we get 2 see this sadder cinder and i! dont like it AAAAAAAA!! i preferred it when we had no idea what her motives were so then Me Caring About This Round Child could be delayed but now we’re in full force i-love-cinder territory!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLEASE....

i literally googled maikoa’s name JUST IN CASE SOME BUGGERY WAS GOING ON but i think we’re safe. no hidden double meanings. no secrets....

Her lips pinched together, watching a Faunus with broken antlers lower his head to avoid Maikoa’s gaze, others with similar signs of abuse doing the same. It was a familiar move, one she recognized intimately.

i BEG to be free of this depression!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD. GOD I DO NOT LIKE THIS PART!!!!!! and what do u mean recognised intimately hello??????

Golden eyes scanned the streets, the Faunus all turning their heads away as her gaze fell over them. Most were older than Maikoa. Others were children, their horns and fangs still growing in.

im sad now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SAD,

Pristine steps rose to a porch lined with pots of Angel’s Trumpets, and Cinder’s smile thinned. It almost looked cozy.

NEVER FUCKING MIND WHAT I SAID ABT HIS NAME I WAS WRONG,

“Do you often question your superiors?” Cinder asked.

[...]

But even without the slow shake of his head, Cinder already knew the answer to her own question. There were too few scars to be seen on Maikoa to indicate he had ever refused an order from the White Fang.

theres like.... HISTORY HERE...... and im SO UNBEARABLY CURIOUS as to what it IS. like. im tryna figure out. if her superiority over him stems from her dealing w. the fang, or if. shes actually been. a LOT closer than we know. cinder’s history is SO muddied and even though i know we’ll discover some of it im endlessly curious because I Know Some Other Shit that makes me WONDER.................... is there more to this....

Cinder blinked down at the key, not missing the way her title was tacked on as an afterthought. That same heat from before pooled in her cavernous ribcage. Violence collected at her twitching fingers, old scars across her body flaring with phantom pain.

That old itch again, like every wound rubbed raw.

THERE’S SOMETHING MORE HERE AND I JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHAT PLEASE I WANT TO K N O W

like the interactions w/ cinder and the fang are so specific and im like. i just. whats going on. WHATS HAPPENING. HEWWO????????? am i misreading it.... maybe..... but also...... hm,

“Tell me, Maikoa, do you think Sienna Khan would care if I killed you right now?”

i never said i would write cinder/sienna fic but hey if you put a gun to my head i certainly wouldn’t say NO.....

Around them, the Faunus that had been sheltering close to doorways and alleys had begun to take notice of what was happening. They stood watching openly, their ears all pricked and swiveled towards the scene.

you know what im gonna say it. cinder is just. GOD. she thinks of herself as powered by that sorta burning spite??? that she works for HER MACHINATIONS and boots ppl up the ass if she feels like it but. i just. shes like ‘im not gonna care!!! gonna do my thing and not give a shit’ but she gives so many shits. every day, new shit, and she’s giving it out like she’s at a soup kitchen. of shit. and i LOVE IT GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cinder ‘i have never cared’ fall is actually cinder ‘i have ALWAYS cared ALWAYS’ fall and i BELIEVE IN THIS because u kno. u kno that rly. a lil piece of her aint gonna give her the satisfaction of being a stone cold bitch!!!!!!!!

Cinder had made arrangements with the White Fang’s leader herself, and Sienna Khan wasn’t known for a bleeding heart.

NEVER SAID I’D WRITE IT BUT I NEVER SAID I WOULDN’T WRITE THE CINDER/SIENNA FIC,

On the edges of her peripherals, Cinder saw the people stepping closer, their attention rapturous. It occurred to her that they probably viewed her as a savior, someone to break the shackles of their enslavement to the White Fang. Someone altruistic. Someone not motivated entirely by spite.

They didn’t know her.

The White Fang would send another overseer—they always did—and by that time, the white-hot resentment licking at the inside of her ribcage would have exhausted, her own plans taking her far away. There would be another overseer, the inhabitants would resume their harried lives, and Cinder wouldn’t spare this town a second thought.

Besides, a nagging part of her insisted, this town would probably not survive the coming days.

but theyre ON HER MIND.... IS..... THE THING..... like out of all we’ve seen of her narration so farm she DOES think abt it she IS aware of it and she DOES recognise it and all of this is just her. trying to say to herself ‘you dont care this isnt yr business’ but i just. MMMMMM ITS A LIE. SHES LYIN. and because of [SPOILERS WO~AH] im like. bitch. bitch,

okay moving on from vague cinder feels but i AM right i WONT BE SWAYED,

FROM THE CINDER, TO THE GLYNDA...

She didn’t stop, continuing on with scarcely a moment’s respite, her body drawn by the increasing tug of Cinder’s location.

👈😎👈

And she found, though she’d only hunted Grimm in the past, the trail Cinder left was similar enough, black smoke hanging in the air like a veil.

👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈

okay honestly if i keep grabbing bits the rest of this will become a huge emojifest but there’s. there’s a lot of Hints being dropped. just So Many. LIKE JUST A LOT LIKE. 

im rly loving the deserts clashes tho we get some Peak Cinder and Peak Hunter Glynda too its all very 👌👌👌💦

In her soft Beacon years, she had forgotten how a hunt made unnecessary things wilt and die to make room for stronger senses, and even forgotten how to use those stronger senses. Now, it was as if she had never lost them. Her blood didn’t just sing to her now; it roared like the engine of a great machine, and the prickle in her flesh at Cinder’s presence was like needles.

a few things abt this passage:

ONE. i rly like that shift to ‘soft beacon years’, because i think that rly draws a line in the sand (hoho) from glynda ‘i gotta protect beacon its my home i belong here’ goodwitch to the current glynda ‘cinder is my goal beacon is behind me right here right now she is my one focus’ goodwitch. this hyperfocus is, firstly, a mood, and also just a rly good character tidbit we stan this autistic bitch,

TWO: 👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈 fuck off!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF GOD THAT BIT IS BRAZEN

She had been young then, yet to learn or respect the emotions people expected from her.

WE STAN ONE AUTISTIC BITCH!!!!

For the first time since she’d fully committed herself to the hunt, Glynda felt the prick of displacement. A small, distant part of her wanted to go home.

i cant wait to publish the bingo card i made JUST for offal hunt because rn that shit would be pretty chockablock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A few minutes later, her Scroll buzzed again. Ozpin passed her the details for a secure communication channel to an Atlesian address, belonging to one Special Operative Winter Schnee.

YES HERE SHE COMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE APPROACHES,

okay so THAT’S CHAPTER 5 DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

honestly this one really WAS OUT TO HURT ME and i Hated Every Second but i still am out here knowin Cinder Lies To Herself Most Of All and also Glynda Is One Big Old Dumbass,

thank god winter will maybe salvage this probably maybe not

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

[pettyotome]

Mystic Messenger Another Story: V Route Review

Spoilers undercut. Proceed with caution. :)

Okay! So I freaking loved just about everything in this route. It’s incredibly story packed with SO MUCH NEW CONTENT that was totally worth 300 HG. From the talented voice acting, new twists, and getting to know the characters-- Cheritz does not disappoint with this one! Don’t get me wrong, this route wasn’t perfect. There were a few things that fell below my expectations, but overall this route was wonderfully written and I’m replaying this shit after this review.

Prologue: So the introduction for this was very unique, same concept, but with a creative twist. When Unknown messages you for the first time, it actually feels like he’s breaking the fourth wall-- but technically he isn’t. I’ll get to that in a bit! He basically tells you to download the app under the pretense that you’ll be playing a dating sim-- but none of the character’s we’ve known up until this point are real. The MC in this route thinks they are AIs. Unknown’s characterization in this route is so different from the main stories because he’s actually much more tolerable. It honestly feels like they’re not the same person, I didn’t even care for Saeran up until this route so I really liked spending a lot of this route with him. 

Common Route: Day’s 1-4 are just heaven and hell all mixed together, on one hand you’re trying to make the game branch for V’s route so that you can get a happy ending, but on another hand-- Saeran, known as “Ray” takes you to this place to go play the game, and he is being such a huge sweetheart. I just wondered WHY would Cheritz make Ray act this was knowing that we’re supposed to pursue V!! It broke my heart bc I love the both of them. Through these days, you can see that V is the fastest one to accept you. Mostly because you dropped Rika’s name but still. V hopes the best from you and desperately wants you to be someone he can trust, so he starts showing up a lot more because of you, and you can also see that he sort of opens up, it’s very beautiful to see. And then there’s Ray, who gets attached to you a little too quickly here but he’s always caring about your well being. But don’t get too comfortable. Remember when I said he didn’t technically break the fourth wall earlier..? Well, as you go deeper into this route, the MC starts to feel that these characters are so real that it’s not even funny. And at the very end of the common route on day four, you start to question Ray-- your trust in him starts to waver at this point. At the very last second of his route, V shows up at Mint Eye to save you. He’s not an AI. Ray lied to you. It hurts Ray a lot to know that he’s lied to you more than it hurts the MC, depending on your choices but you’re basically torn bc V couldn’t save you from him but he swears that he’ll come back for you and LORD did this kill me.

V and Rika’s relationship: There was a big corner of the MM fandom that was reluctant to have a romantic V route because of V’s deep love for Rika-- how would Cheritz handle giving V and the MC 11 days to bond knowing that V is still recovering from an abusive relationship? Well, good news. Cheritz tackles this issue head on, no tip toeing around this situation. Days 5-10, when V comes to Mint Eye to save you, there is a scene where he is telling Rika that the two of them used to be obsessed with each other. Key word: obsessed. From the main story until now, V always thought that he loved Rika. This was one of my favorite scenes from this route because Cheritz KNEW what we wanted to be addressed while pursuing V and they delivered. And in the chats, V starts to come to the realization that he might have loved Rika at first, but then later what they had stopped being genuine and just became so unhealthy. He was blind to that at first, but then starts to see their relationship for what it really was with help from the MC. 

Romance: As to be expected, this is gonna take some time. Depending on your choices as the MC, you could either throw yourself at V, show him no respect and rush him to forget about RIka and date you-- or you could aid V through his pain and understand that he’s not a bad person for not being able to fully figure out what love is. V’s been dealing with a lot of Rika’s shit for the past six months. While he DOES actually fall in love with the MC, the two don’t even get together until day 11, which is set two years after the events of V’s route. And I loved that Cheritz handled the romance between V and the MC this way. 

Rika’s characterization and interactions with her: I’m the minority of the fandom that actually likes Rika. But I’m also the minority of that minority that wanted to beat her senseless for the shit she’s done. What I really liked about her in this route particularly was that you actually get to talk to her for yourself-- not through the RFA’s clouded image of her. I enjoyed reading the VN scenes where she talks to Jaehee and recruits other members in the RFA. Rika actually had some very cute moments and I lived for them! I empathized a lot with Rika about how she felt like she couldn’t show her dark side to her loved ones. Cheritz unraveled a much more detailed story of her and V’s relationship and answered the questions that were unanswered in the main story. BUT BOY DID THIS BITCH REALLY TRIED ME LIKE I WANTED TO DECK HER SO BAD BUT I FELT FOR HER PAIN. There were actually a lot of moments near the end where Rika chats with the RFA members and... man it breaks my heart to see her so hurt. And right after days 8/9, shit goes down at Mint Eye and for the first time we see that Rika actually actually does care for the people she’s manipulated and hurt-- Ray. In the main story, it seemed like she didn’t care for him that much outside of his loyalty to her and Mint Eye. But when there’s a bombing at Mint Eye and Ray seems to not have escaped-- she cries for him. She REALLY HOPED for him to find a place where he belonged and I’m really proud of Cheritz for showing us more of her emotions. 

V’s development: Let me just say that you gotta be HELLA PATIENT with this man. V means well, incredibly well, but he’s always carrying the burden of his emotional abuse and the RFA on his shoulders. You learn so many new things about how he met the members, his friendship with Jumin, and you get VNs from his mothers point of view! Not only did we get a completely new story, but we have so many new Jihyun details to gush over and it’s great that we got to see VNs of V as a kid, and how that affected his relationship with Rika. Basically, I felt like V’s relationship with Rika was to prepare him for real love-- love that he would have with the MC. In the beginning V is mourning, in denial, trying to hard to sacrifice himself so that nobody gets hurt. He’s stubborn and self-less to a huge fault. But in this route, you as the MC help him to learn how to love himself and care about himself more. it gets to a point where V shuts down Rika and hopes for her happiness-- but says that it’s over. That what they had was not love. V is finally standing his ground and he’s being so much more honest with himself and with Rika. He admits that he shared some faults within the relationship too, like how he suffocated her with love rather than face her mental illness realistically. And the way he wants to protect the MC from her is literally the best thing ever. V cares about you and is genuinely interested in you, telling you that you made him feel things not even Rika gave him. It’s a slow and frustrating development but the MC is patient enough to help him get there. I just love how V cherishes you so much, to the point where Rika has noticed that V has fallen in love with you. And even V knows this himself, but as I’ve said, the romance takes a lot of time but ultimately he chooses you in the end and comes out a much better person-- following his real dreams and being happy!

Other things: Yo Yoosung pissed me the fuck off a lot in this route bc it felt like he was trying to justify the shit Rika did just because of the good girl image he has of her, and although he does come to accept that she’s beyond saving and even drags her away from drugging people at the party in the end, it was so hard not to be mad at him in this route. But he’s someone I had to be patient with too. Yoosung is a good kid and I love him but he drops her name in this route more than he did his own and THAT’S saying something. I understood that he was grieving but he was dead tryna defend a criminal and that had me all the way fucked up. 

JUMINV!!!! Their friendship!!!! And the way Jumin kind of shipped you and V in the end is just the best thing ever, if anyone knows me, I’m a huge Jumin fan so seeing him accept and trust the MC and compliment her strengths had me swooning. OH AND WHEN JUMIN CHECKED RIKA IN THAT ONE CHAT ON DAY TEN, HE WAS BEING SUCH A SAVAGE I FUCKING LOVE THIS MAN. LIKE YES!!!! DEFEND YOUR BEST FRIEND!!!! 

Ray deserves to be happy. Ray deserves his own route. I wanna romance this man and help him escape from the Mint Eye ideology. WHY WOULD CHERITZ MAKE A V ROUTE AND THEN HAVE RAY BE SO SWEET TO US LIKE THIS I LOVE THE BOTH OF THEM SO MUCH BUT I HATED HAVING TO HURT RAY. 

Draw backs: I felt like Cheritz fell back on Rika’s backstory. When Rika tells you that she’s been bullied or that her parents didn’t love her-- I felt like Cheritz didn’t go into enough depth about it so it was hard to sympathize with vague ass stories. As a person whose been bullied and emotionally abused by my family, I felt like Rika didn’t explain enough of what happened to her and it really didn’t cut it for me. And I was also slightly disappointed that Cheritz built up Rika’s character so much only to give an anti-climatic ending where Rika is STILL up to her Mint Eye bullshit, trying to drug everyone at the party with an elixir, only to get dragged away by Yoosung. Which was probably the only good thing he did in this route if I’m being honest. I felt like we never got any answers as to what happened to Rika or Ray after the party and I hope those questions get answered in new V DLCs and After endings when Cheritz updates again. I’m also a little annoyed that 707 doesn’t find out that the hacker is actually his brother but maybe if Ray get’s a route, that would be addressed? I really hope so bc the route was so perfect up until then, bc it didn’t make sense that they never crossed paths in this route. But that’s pretty much all that bugged me.

In conclusion: Whooping Rika. JuminV. RFA shenanigans. RAY’S BLUE FLOWERS. And Jihyun Kim’s happiness!!!! This route was everything I expected it to be and so much more. It was so fucking emotional and had my heart hurting a lot for the past few days, but I’d do it all over again just to see Jihyun’s smile. Thank you, Cheritz. We truly don’t deserve such a good company. 

[xadoheandterra]

Title: Wanted Fandoms: Overwatch | Harry Potter Characters: Lily Potter, James Potter, Angela Ziegler, Jesse McCree Tags: Jesse being an overprotective ass, Angela being cute, James and Lily being overwhelmed Summary: Gabriel didn’t know. He kind of blew up before he had the chance to find out, but that wasn’t an excuse. Gabriel couldn’t count it as an excuse because he could’ve tried to at least check in. Now, a mercenary, a killer, an assassin, and suddenly he finds himself…well, dealing with this shit. Talon is definitely not the best place to raise a kid. An undead smoke monster filled with rage is definitely not fit to be a dad, but here he is, dealing with this shit. Fuck.

Angela settled the blood vials from Lily down and carefully slipped the door shut before she turned and gave the young woman a smile. Lily leaned against James who kept his arms wrapped around his wife’s shoulders throughout the entire exam and blood draw. Early Angela found herself inundated with questions, but she bore them with a smile and patience that being a world renowned doctor owed her.

“Well, you are all done,” Angela said brightly. She headed over to her desk and began to root around for a spare communication device of phone. “It’ll be a few days before I have the full results…” Nothing. Angela frowned.

“Do we have to stay here the entire time, Healer?” James questioned.

Angela looked up to him, surprised. “Heavens no! We are not going to keep you here. I do need a better way to get in touch with you about the results. Owls are just not reliable with delicate matters such as these.” Angela straightened and wondered if she should just ask Athena to contact Jesse about getting her a phone for the couple. “Once I have the results I can determine if we need to have a follow up right away, any additional tests…”

Lily grasped at James hand and Angela sighed.

“I know it is frightening,” the doctor uttered softly. She moved to sit down in front of James and Lily instead. “Whenever something new crops up out of Gabriel and Jack I’m always terrified. I’m good, but even I can’t parse just what the American’s did to those boys.” She sighed heavily. “It doesn’t help that the American’s are still tight lipped about what went into their Soldier Enhancement Program, nor that their ‘subjects’ were left entirely in the dark as to what they were being injected with.” She patted Lily’s knee in an attempt to be comforting. “However you are in good hands. I promise you that.”

“Damn straight yer in good hands,” Jesse drawled from the doorway. He tipped his hat in greeting. “Figured you’d need one o’ these, doc.” He raised his metallic prosthetic to show off a simple phone. Angela practically sagged in relief.

“Oh thank you, Jesse,” Angela breathed and grabbed the phone out of his hands. She began to fumble in her own number as a contact quickly enough. “How did you know?”

Jesse smiled, although it turned out to be more than a grimace, and he winked in James and Lily’s direction who watched the byplay confused. “Purdy sure any o’ us who’re close to those two jackrabbits got some idea of what’s goin’ on here, doc. Jack wasn’t ‘sactly…subtle, if you catch me?”

Angela cursed. “Oh that man!” She shook her head and handed over the phone to Lily. “Here. It has my number. Call me if anything changes—anything. I know you have your trusted Healers, but if there is even a chance….”

Lily took the phone and carefully put it away. James frowned.

“It’ll…work?”

Angela waved her hand. “Oh we long figured out a way around that problem.” The doctor turned to Jesse. “You’ll escort them…?”

Jesse waved a hand, smile on his face. “Yeah, no problem doc. Oh, wanted to ask—when ya want me to bring Genji on by?”

“After Gabriel is finished pretending I gave him an aphrodisiac, again,” Angela retorted dryly.

Jesse pulled a face, although most of it was mockingly. “Ew. Ew. Ew. Didn’t need to know that.”

Angela snorted and buried her face into her hands. She waved James and Lily to follow after Jesse and moved over to her notes and computer. There was more research she needed to do, and bloodwork she needed to follow up on. Jesse took the cue and waved James and Lily to follow. He only slipped out the door after them. Once the door slid shut Jesse shimmied his way between James and Lily and wrapped his arms around their shoulders with a wide smile.

“So, how’d ya like the doc?” Jesse questioned. “Were her bedside manners a’cold t’ya?”

“She was perfectly pleasant,” Lily mumbled, a bit surprised at the friendly gesure.

“S’at so? Dang,” Jesse grumbled. “She must’a liked you. Girl’s meaner than a donkey t’me.” He gave them a grin to settle the nerves and Lily giggled. “Now a know ya don’t know me side from our brief how do ya do earlier. So, figured introductions all proper in order. Names McCree. Ya’ll can call me Jesse.”

“James Potter,” James said. “My wife, Lily.”

“Nice t’meetcha.” Jesse dipped his head. His smile grew a bit harsher and a bit colder as they walked, and his grip tightened a bit on both of their shoulders. “Now I jes wanna make some things here clear for ya’ll.” Lily squeaked. “See a don’t wanna hear that neither ya went and talked t’none bought your trip to the Overwatch HQ. Or sleepin’ with Gabe. Especially sleepin’ with Gabe.”

Jesse’s grip became borderline painful as he continued, voice a bit thicker with repressed anger. “See Jack ain’t jes loud when he’s pissed. He’s really fuckin’ loud. An’ he shouts all kinda things.” He side-eyed Lily, and there was something to that gaze that unsettled her. “Such as hearin’ that the one man whose got m’respect went an’ got raped.”

“I didn’t—” Lily started.

“Hey let her—”

Jesse let his grip get to be on just this side of painful and both shut up. “Hope ya weren’t tryna say ya didn’t do what ya up an’ did,” Jesse said lowly. “Cuz trust me, ma’am. I know what ‘m talkin’ bout here.” Lily swallowed heavily. “Now, neither Jack nor Gabe might be pressin’ charges, but that don’t mean yer pretty, little magical lives can’t be fucked up if ya don’t take some friendly advice, y’see?”

“Yes,” Lily whispered.

“Good,” Jesse relaxed his grip a little.

“Did they teach you that at Illvermony?” James questioned as he pulled himself out of Jesse’s grip and rubbed at his shoulders, wide-eyed.

“Never went to Illvermony,” Jesse drawled. “Don’t got ‘nough o’ th’ juice. S’all here.” Jesse tapped the corner of his eye with a slightly cold smile. “Makes m’ good at m’job.”

Lily shivered.

“My number’s in that phone too,” Jesse continued calmly. He nudged them both back into moving. “If anyone bothers ya or brings up this trip, or even any o’ the shit with Gabe, ya tell m’immediately.” Lily touched the phone in her pocket. “There’s ‘nough shit goin’ on without this makin’ a bigger mess.”

“You mean political,” Lily said, as if it suddenly clicked. Jesse gave her a grin full of teeth.

“Yes’n’no,” he said dryly. “Threats are possible too.” He looked them both up and down. “Gabe’s head o’ Blackwatch. Shit tends to hit the fan more’n not.”

“Noted,” James whispered, wide-eyed and a bit more than freaked out.

Jesse nodded, and then stopped the two before they reached the hanger. “Ah, an’…if ya have any questions? Don’t be afraid t’call,” he added, somewhat embarrassed, although now he looked at Lily. A part of his smile became sheepish and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Life fuckin’ decisions…are kinda my forte. Gabe got me outta mine.” Jesse looked more than sincere now. “Lemme…return th’ favor some day.”

“Okay,” Lily whispered.

Jesse nodded. He pushed them forward. “Now Tracer’ll get ya’ll home safe ‘n sound. The good doctor will be callin’ ya sooner or later. Don’t worry ‘bout none an’ the phone. We got it worked out, an’ ain’t a chance someone ‘cept you can use it.”

“Who?” Lily asked.

“What?” James questioned.

“’Ello, luvs! Ready for a trip back?”

Jesse laughed, tipped his hat to them, and turned on heel with a whistle. His job was done.

[fmf-ff]

Prologue

Disclaimer: Because nobody’s perfect, because there’s always time to change, and because I’m currently on this journey of growing in the Lord…I wanted to share a figment of my imagination, invite you into this busy head of mines and hopefully tell a story that encourages you not to give up in the fight. No this is not my personal experience but these characters are still looking for what I’m searching for. Now as I said, I’m currently on this journey…there will be cursing, sex–lots of sex, and other sinful activities but please don’t judge me. I hope you all enjoy, feel free to leave comments, introduce yourself, share ya thoughts and all that…

“NO! FUCK YOU J, FUCK YOU!”

“Boog, if you would jus-”

“NO! I’m done with this shit, I’m over all of this Jedidiah– it’s always about you and, and I am sick of this Jedi. Okay? I’m sick of this shit!” My voice cracked, my eyes threatening to betray me and release the tears I was fighting to keep from falling.

Fuck was I arguing with him for?

Fuck was I raising my voice for?

Six years, six long ass years I’ve been dealing with bullshit I didn’t deserve. Not as a woman who did right by her man; I cooked and cleaned, sucked and fucked, even gave massages. I didn’t bitch, I held it down and always rode for my man but of course none of that was enough… It was never enough. I performed wifely duties when I should’ve just kept it simple and played my part as the dumbass girlfriend he thought I was.

The girl who would stick around that long, keep everything up as it was–hell if not better than when we first met, and still still didn’t have a ring after all this time.

“Sick of this? Nah baby-” I scoffed as he shook his head. “I done told you bout that threatening shit, you betta mean that shit next time it leave yo mouth, G. I mean that shit..”

Frowning, shaking my head, and throwing a hand in the air to wave him off, I turned and continued stuffing clothes inside of my bag. He either thought I was playing, or was just gonna give in to his pleading as usual but this time, I was for real. I meant every single word of it this time.

I was done.

“So you really gone leave? All the history don’t mean shit? Six years Boogie, we been riding for six fucking years and you think imma just let you go? You got a nigga fucked up if that’s what you thinking.”

“Yeah, okay”

He didn’t have to believe me, my actions would be my proof cause I was done with his ass.

I heard him let out a frustrated sigh behind me, “Can we just talk about this please? Please Boogie?”

Sighing, I zipped my bag before turning and sitting on the bed, crossing my right leg over the left and giving him a look signaling for him to continue.

“Look I fucked up, again, I know. I know it hurts you and I apologize baby, it didn’t mean shit to me– none of them other bitches meant shit to me either-”

“Well what the fuck you do it for then, J? You always say they don’t mean shit, but this is the third time,” I stressed while folding my arms. “You can’t keep apologizing about the same shit if you gone keep doing it, that’s spitting in my damn face!”

“And I know that, I can’t even tell you why I keep doing this. I’m just a stupid ass nigga man, I know I would be pissed if the tables were turned just like I know you deserve better than this bullshit I put you through.. But baby I swear, without you, I wouldn’t be no where near the man you help me to be. I wouldn’t be this far in my career, this close to making it big without you. You the reason for all this shit-” he spoke, throwing his arms up. “You push me to do better, you motivate me and show me that you care. You the only one besides moms and Mani that I care about pleasing, if I disappoint you then I fail baby. I can’t even imagine where I would be without you Boog, or what I would be doing with my life. My kids love you, , my family loves you, I fuckin’ love you girl.”

I nodded, believing every word that seeped through those lips I love to kiss. “And you know I love you too, but you can’t tell me all of this and expect it to be enough for me to stay even though it ain’t enough for you to stop disrespecting me?”

He frowned slightly, “nah baby, that ain’t what I’m saying at all. I’m just tryna speak my heart to you. I ain’t tryna lose you ma”

“Don’t seem like you tryna keep me either Jedi”

A look of defeat spread across his face, one that he would usually be an expert at masking. “But I am Justice”

My brow rose at him calling me by my first name, I hadn’t heard him use it in quite some time. Baby, Boogie, and Boog was what I had grew accustomed to so for him to call me Justice was a bit shocking.

“Why?”

“Why what?” He was now seated beside me, attempting to reach out and touch me but one menacing look and his arm was back down at his side.

“Why’d you do it? I don’t wanna hear you don’t know or no other bullshit. I want the truth Jedidiah, why did you cheat on me? Why didn’t you support what I wanted to do? Why’d you have to hurt me?” My voice was barely above a whisper, my pain evident in every word.

“I-” he started but quickly closed his mouth. He looked down at the floor, shaking his head before trying again to explain himself. “I was stupid, the pussy was there and I took the bait. I let others get into my head when I shouldn’t have, the little fame that I’ve built draws too much temptation and I lost the battle.” He shrugged before looking over at me. “As far as supporting you, I do support you and I wanna see yo pretty ass on the screens soon. Like you said though, I was just too caught up in myself to give a fuck about anybody else and I took you for granted.. I took a lot for granted and I know that now.”

Swallowing the words wanting to spew from my mouth, I reached over and grabbed his hand leading him to stand just as I did. “I love you”

You got this Boog. I had to coach myself through this heart breaking time.

“I love you too ma-”

His arms wrapped tightly around my waist, holding me close to his frame as my arms hung loosely over his shoulders. I brought his head down to mines, planting my lips ever so lightly among his. “I love you so much,” I uttered before he pulled me into another kiss only this one was more than a peck. He wasted no time running his tongue across my lips, requesting access to enter what was once his…

Her tongues battled slowly, causing a pleasure filled moan to sound from deep within.

My hands clenched his shirt, holding him close as I usually did..but it didn’t last long.

Although it was nice, our final kiss that is, I had to pull away before I allowed him to lure me back in.

“I love you Jedi, but that’s just simply not enough.” I bit my lip, seeing a look of hurt and anger displayed on his handsome face, but that wasn’t enough either.

My mind was made.

I was a woman scorned and I had to throw in the towel.

Grabbing my bag, I gave him one final look, “take care of yourself,”

It took six long years and four final words to end that chapter, but Jedidiah and Justice were no longer. I was now living for Justice and Justice only, and this time I meant it..

****** Present

“Hello, it’s me, I was wondering if after all these years you would like to meet. To go over, everything They say that time’s supposed to heal ya, but I ain’t done much healing.

Hello, can you hear me? I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be. When we were younger and free; I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet.

There’s such a difference between us And a million miles-”

Tired of singing along, I exited out of the app I was using and did something that I had grown accustomed to over the past few years.

I prayed.

“Help me, Lord. Guide my every step and let me not falter in doing your deed, Father. I’m back here by your guidance, and I trust you Lord. I trust you, Lord. I trust you, Lord! I give it all to you to have your way with me. Help me stand tall during this time, and to do what’s right for not only me but for Bugz too. In Jesus name I pray, amen.”

After a silent prayer, my eyes rose taking in the passengers among the plane as some stood grabbing their carry-on bags and others filing out one by one. After three long years, I was back. Back to a place I had ran from after having my heart ripped to pieces. It was something I had prayed about, time after time, and some how ended up with the same answer; rather it was hearing God’s own words, a dream, or a sign in everyday life. The fact would remain the same, this is where I belonged.

Where, we, belonged and I couldn’t keep Bugz away any longer.

I only hoped that her father would be welcoming to the fact he had a child now and could change for her benefit..if he hasn’t already.

Guess I’ll find out.

Texas, I’m back.