#like spy saying that he cared about scout and loved him as a son while he's trying to ignore the shirt

[cervinae-canine]

I firmly believe that scout would wear a shirt with this design when he was dying in the comics

[kingqueensoobscene]

hear me out hear me out Lil’ Pootis BLU Scout but with like a nice partner, someone who’s like really nice and sweet and it’s a personality difference for the two but they get along so well!!

WOOO YOUR GIRL IS BACK!!!!!!! I’ve been so busy, but now I’m slowly getting back to it. Don’t guarantee anything ;3 this was such a cute ask!!

LIL POOTIS!BLU!SCOUT X A KIND READER

-Ok, so, Spy is definitely going to say to his son how he can’t make fun of his marriage to Engineer because Scout just found someone who is the total opposite of him as well. You two are pretty much like Spy and Engineer, Scout just hates to admit it.

-You are a rock to Scout. Being on the Blu team is rough in the first place since they’re on the short end of the stick and they get roughed up more than they win. Even if you are apart of this mess as a fellow mercenary, it is a shock how you managed to find a balance with your emotions. None of them have had a good day since they got assigned to payloads for the week, so you’re a good presence to have around. Always helping out, making jokes, distracting the others. 

-Which is why they were shocked when you started dating the Scout. It wasn’t an issue, you were on the same team. It was just a surprise to everyone else. Sure, you stood out in the cold with him when he was told to quit smoking indoors (though, him and Sniper still did on occasion), he gave you pointers on that rifle of yours and he was always asking where you were. But it didn’t seem that serious. No one really cared, everyone does their own thing. It’s still a shock though. 

-It’s best when you two are on the field together. He runs through the line of sight so you can sneak your way to the control point without even a cut. He doesn’t ever want you to get needlessly hurt on the field, even though you are a trained killer. So, he just goes before you get the chance. He was always taught you look out for those you care about (Thanks Spy). If you’re quicker than him, he will just run past you. Either way, you’re not getting shot. You will respawn either way, but he does not care. 

-Spy and Engineer are happy about your relationship. More Engineer than Spy. Del wants Scout to be closer with him, so he comes extra supportive. Even before you and Scout dated, Engie was always kind back to you. He is always waving at you with a smile after his entry shot the enemy Demoman. Spy will always remind Scout to treat your kindness back and to not take advantage of it. To always take you out to a nice place or buy you that thing you have been talking about as your birthday gets closer. Scout is not a very selfish guy, he has proven that to you before, though Spy worries. 

-Speaking of, any time you two go out, Scout will assume you want to do something fancy. If there is anything his dad has taught him, it’s that you do overly romantic things. If you hate going out to eat or you don’t have anything nice to wear, just tell him. He’s fine with just going to the corner store and getting some snacks. At least, he cleans up well and owns at least 2 two-pieces. He hates slicking his hair back though because you can see how far back his hairline has become.

-If you tell him straightforwardly how handsome you think he is, he gets super cocky. Like the “I know, thank you.” kind of way. Especially if you compliment his form. He has been working out for a couple years since joining his dad, he knows the progress he has made and how in shape he is. You do not even have to tell him, he knows you do. But once in a while, he will do something stupid like do a pull up on a random, low hanging pipe in the hallway to   impress you. If you’re the type of person to go crazy with compliments, he looks like he does not care. That is until he can’t help but smirk and say, “You’re alright.” before laughing and giving you a kiss on your hand to apologize. 

-By the way, he loves hand kisses. Not even in the romantic way. He will shake your hand limply and then kiss you with a big “Mwah!” and start laughing at how cringe that was.

-Since the days rotate on who is going out on the missions, you two have days where you don’t see each other. He will get home with his nose red and his clothes damp from the blowing, snowy winds outside and he just lays next to you on your shared bed, reading until you hug him at his side and kiss his shoulder. PDA isn’t a big thing to him. I mean, you’re with him, aren’t you? Everyone knows you two are in a established relationship that does not violate the Administrator’s rules, so why not show off a little? An arm will be wrapped around your back and the magazine on his lap. 

-Sometimes, he likes the silence when he comes back into the base. Of course, you know this too. As previously mentioned in my other post with the Lil Pootis Scouts, Blu Scout likes to go to the boiler room where the heaters and generators lie to get some privacy and warm up. It’s sort of hard to hide that you two cuddle in there, not that anyone goes there anyways, so eventually everyone found out. Though, if you are a girl, I would say Miss Pauling would allow you your own private room as a courtesy, so the others would only notice Scout’s absence and assume he disappeared to have a smoke. 

-If you’re a persistent person who will do anything for someone, you have absolutely gone outside with Scout while he was smoking. Spy has scolded him more than once, so now he has to make a habit of it. He hates when you come with him as he does not want you to get cold, but he knows you are stubborn. It’s not the company he minds, rather that you are withstanding the cold and the smell of cigarettes to be with him. He thinks you are the most thoughtful person ever for even bringing his lighter that he forgot or brought him some hot chocolate. Often, the other mercenaries catch you two chatting by the water tunnel while you rambled on to Scout about your day. 

Wafting against the cold, the flame kissed the tip of the cigarette and burned bright. The silver box shut at the pressure of your thumb and you put away his lighter. Grey puffs floated across the frozen air and danced with the deep shades of a painted blue and speckles of white. Your head against his falling shoulder. His hand at your right side, rubbing along your coat. He dragged his cigarette and blew away from you. Then he smiled. A soft smile that few could see. Sure, he was always smiling, but not like this. You are the person he wants to smile this way to. Because you are the person that melts him down, that makes him warm to the touch and wear down the usual tense. Overwhelmed, he did not like you when you first met as trainees. You would not last, he thought. You were too much. You did not shut up, you were too nice, you would be knocked before you could speak another word in no time. Sometimes, he looks back at his young self and wants smack him silly. Someone compassionate, someone who balanced out his mellow wanted to be his friend. Before he was good at what he did, before he got stronger and better at everything, you liked him.

Now, you are out in the cold with your shivering spine and twitching head. Eyes rolled and he’s off the boulder. It was freezing for you, you should warm up. But you had his lighter. And you kept your hands in your pockets. Unamused eyes looked at you as he prodded you to hand it over. You only backed up and smiled. He only got more demanding and he moved closer. You shook your head and giggled. A sigh comes from him. Then he pulls off his scarf and moves up to wrap it around. 

Now you felt a little bad. Smoke blew again. He smirked. A hand on your chin and your lips on his. Something sweet, then bitter. Ash was not a pleasant taste. And he knew it. 

[emilythedog661-tf2]

My Version Of the Mercenary's Relationships

Here is a explanation on my version of the TF2 mercenaries relationship with each other if you were all curious and remember, these are my version of the mercs, not the real valve ones but anyway.

Scout

Scout and Soldier - They have a Homer Simpson/Bart Simpson relationship where Soldier will do violence mainly strangling to scout when he's expression big negative emotions but when it's positive, he's acts like scout's father figure along side engineer.

Scout and Pyro - They have a 'high school crush' relationship where they are in love with each other and sometimes they can't keep their bodies off each other when they ain't in battle, Pyro also likes to give Scout his drawing which Scout adores and the pair spend time reading comics together, doodling together and playing pranks.

Scout and Demoman - To Scout, Demo is the fun party uncle who does all the party tricks and the pair have a cool uncle/nephew relationship, especially on the battle field where Demo and Scout like to do bomb pranks on the BLU team with Pyro tagging along.

Scout and Heavy - Heavy is a mix of a uncle, a father figure and a therapist to Scout, Heavy is a good listener when Scout vents so it's why Scout doesn't blabber to him as much as he said all he had to say to Heavy that hadn't been said yet which Heavy understands, Heavy is very supportive to Scout when Scout has a frustration vent and he cuddles scout as they sit on the sofa together which always makes Scout calm down and Heavy can also be a fun uncle on the battle field which Scout loves.

Scout and Engineer - Engineer, like Soldier is Scout's father figure more like a motherly father then Soldier, he makes sure he's okay when he's serverly hurt, calms Scout down when he frustrated or annoyed, Scout has accidentally called him and Soldier dad a few times which Engineer thinks is adorable and doesn't correct him when Scout doesn't notice or makes it not embarrassing to Scout when Scout does notice his mistake and Engineer gives affection to Scout by either giving him a nuggy or a light punch to the arm which Soldier does sometimes as well after seeing Engineer do it, also Engineer loved to tell dad jokes around Scout which he gets cringy about but he actually adores them as he has to turn away to crack a smile or chuckle a little.

Scout and Medic - Medic is a Unvle to Scout and Scout really wants to like medic as he thinks he's a cool guy with his god like abilities but he also thinks he's creepy and scary expecally when Medic is having his psychotic episode on the battle field, Scout has grown to like Medic's doves as he did have one of them in his chest for a a few days until Medic removed it and Medic is surprising caring to Scout when he wants to be.

Scout and Sniper - Sniper is a mix of a big brother figure and a uncle figure to scout, the pair hang out sometimes when scout needs someone to chill with and the pair usually end up being snack buddies as they like to eat junk food together, Sniper likes to tease and play with Scout like a big brother and Scout likes Sniper's playing as he could tell he wanted a sibling as it was a little rough for him growing up being a single child, Sniper can also be a little strict sometimes but it's usually when he's on the battlefield and he wants to do his job.

Scout and Spy - Spy is literally Scout's dad but Scout thinks his dad is Tom Jones while also sometimes saying that Engineer and Soldier were his dads too, Spy doesn't mind but he secretly wishes Scout would like him like a son should with a dad, Scout thinks growing up that his dad wasn't in his life but in truth, Spy was there almost all the time, he was just either invisible, disguised or hiding, he saw Scout say his first words, his first steps, his first home run at a baseball game and other things, Spy has been secretly proud of him and he even keeps an album of Scout growing up which he takes out sometimes when he's alone to smile at the memories.

Soldier

Soldier and Pyro - They have a Adpoted Father/Child relationship, Soldier gets happy when Pyro does good on the battlefield, help pyro out with things like his garden or making something, Soldier sometimes acts like one of those dads that's trying to get hip with his kids but he either dies it wrong or says the word wrong but Pyro is happy to correct him, Pyro's favorite thing to do with Soldier is for them to draw together as Soldier is a surprisingly good drawer and the pair like to eat candy together.

Soldier and Demoman - These 2 are basically brothers even if they aren't related, they get each other like brothers, Demoman is the supportive 'older' brother while soldier is the happy 'younger' brother, Demo was also Soldier's wingman when Soldier was first dating Engineer, the pair love eating sports together, drinking together and chilling together and the others think it's wholesome.

Soldier and Heavy - The pair don't hang out much and when they do, it's usually for batteling and needing medic for healing, when the pair hang out, they usually talk about guns, food and animals, Heavy has this aura around him that makes Soldier not get angry or frustrated when he sits with him and Heavy as well as Engineer and Demoman are the only ones to hear Soldier's calm voice which he only does sometimes when he's comfortable.

Soldier and Engineer - They have been dating for years and the others know they are the old married couple of the group when they aren't even married yet, they flirt with each other, like physical contact as they either lean on each other, kiss, cuddle each other or hold hands often, sleep together, have intimacy mainly on the weekends, get worried about each other, sometimes soldier have separation anixity when he has to step away from engineer willingly or forcefully and they are know to the others as the team parents with engineer as the team mom and soldier as the team dad, the pair also hopes when they retire to have a nice cabin in the woods, a family of raccoons in their back garden as well as other pets in the house, Pyro being with then now and again and even maybe have one kid somehow.

Soldier and Medic - Soldier and Medic end up being together during the battlefield when Heavy is dead briefly or unavailable, they are a powerhouse when pair together and they tend to win some matches together, off the battlefield and the pair tend to hang out commonly due to Medic and Engineer like to hang around together a lot, Medic obviously sees Soldier sometimes for medical check ups and to have his rabid shots after he spends time with his raccoons where Soldier does talk to Medic but it's usually in his shouty, stubborn tone about how everything is fine and he's a-okay.

Soldier and Sniper - The pair tend to hang out sometimes due to Medic and Engineer hanging out together, the pair are quite chill with each other and even if Soldier doesn't like Sniper being a camper, he doesn't mind him really and just finds him a little weird mainly with the peeing in jars thing, when the pair are together, they tend to talk about animals as Sniper has loads of pets while Soldier loves to gush about his raccoons which Sniper doesn't mind raccoons.

Soldier and Spy - The pair rarely hang out as they are different to each other but their one thing in common is that they are like the leaders of the team, Spy is the serious yet calm Leader while Soldier is the strict and super serious leader, Spy also doesn't take Soldier seriously as he thinks he's a dumb idiot but he doesn't mind him either seeing him a good friend.

Pyro

Pyro and Demoman - Like with Scout, Pyro sees Demoman as the fun party uncle that is a blast to bring to parties, Pyro finds Demo entertaining even if they don't really hang out much and Demo also gives the second best hugs out of the group

Pyro and Heavy - To Pyro, Heavy is the best hugger out of the group and he always loves to gets hugs from him whenever Heavy wants ones or Pyro needs one, Heavy treats Pyro like a adult sized child where he reads to him, he seems to become Pyro's babysitter and the pair with Scout also love to pull pranks on the battlefield.

Pyro and Engieer - Engineer is basically Pyro's motherly-father figure, like Soldier, Engineer seems to have adopted Pyro as his and Soldier's kid and he seems to become Pyro's mother figure which he doesn't mind, Engineer likes to have pyro hang around him during the battlefield so pyro can spy check and get rid of any spies trying to sap Engineer's stuff, Soldier also do come by offer mainly to get more ammo but to also check if Engineer is okay, off the battlefield and Pyro is like Soldier and Engineer's child with him giving drawing to the pair, them bonding like a family and it's sometimes really cute to watch.

Pyro and Medic - Pyro sees Medic as the weird yet fun uncle as he always has these fun stuff but Pyro is not allowed to have them, Medic finds Pyro fascinating and he may or may not have let Pyro willingly be a guinea pig to his experiments which turn as well as you think.

Pyro and Sniper - These 2 uncommonly hang out together and when they do, it's usually with Pyro helping with the Spies or lighting Sniper's arrows when he has the huntsmen when they are on the battlefield but when they aren't, Scout sometimes brings Pyro with him so they can hang out together, Sniper finds Pyro confusing as be both psychotic with his obsession with fire but also had child like innocents and is a little naive, Sniper doesn't mind though as he's a nice friend.

Pyro and Spy - Spy hates Pyro on the BLU team but he's okay with his team's Pyro, Pyro sees spy as a lonely guy who probably needs a friend so Pyro likes to go out of his way to make sure Spy is happy, Spy always doesn't look happy even when Pyro hand him something they've made for him e.g. a picture, home made cookies or others but in truth, Spy loves it and he puts it in a secret place so he can look at it in private.

Demoman

Demoman and Heavy - The Pair are drinking buddies that love to test out drinks together but they are also both quite smart and they like to plan out way to murder the BLU team together, the pair usually don't hang out together but then they do, it's a little funny and chaotic when you see 2 very drunk guys taking about murder together.

Demoman and Engineer - Demoman sees Engineer as his soon to be brother in law if Soldier ever gets around to proposing to him, the pair get on well together talking about chemicals and making bombs together, he sees how much Soldier loves this guy and he thinks it's cute and he likes how calm he is when not on the battlefield.

Demoman and Medic - Demoman seems to have become Medic's other guinea pig when Pyro can't do it and Demo doesn't mind as he's usually always drunk, Medic has done loads of things to Demo that he doesn't remember but when Medic isn't using Demo as a guinea pig, the pair are cool with each other and sometimes do experiments together.

Demoman and Sniper - the pair don't hang out much but when they do, they tend to go on fishing trips together or even camping together, Demo makes the fishing trip and the camping trip a lot more fun as he is the party guy after all and the trip always end up with the pair being hung over, the pair always have fun on these trips and they even bring the others to join in.

Demoman and Spy - Demo and Spy rarely hang out due to Spy liking to be on his own as well as never really seeing each other on the battlefield but when they do, the pair have a strange good chemistry with each other, it's like a mixture of them being buddies and flirting with each other even when Demo is drunk and the others don't know how to explain what they have, they all do know that it's both funny and a little cute.

Heavy

Heavy and Engineer - The Pair are PhD buddies so both of them are really clever but they don't really hang out together as Engineer is with Soldier, Pyro, Medic and Sniper or in his workshop and Heavy is busy reading, eating, cleaning sasha and the other mini guns or snoozing, when they do hang out, they talk about smart things that the others can't seem to understand but the pair seem to be happily talking to each other and that what matters.

Heavy and Medic - The pair like Soldier and Demoman, have like brothers who aren't related, they have a good bond with Heavy being impressed by Medic but also a little scared by him while Medic likes how caring and bear like Heavy is, the pair are know as the power duo on the battlefield and nothing rarely stops them when Medic pops that ubercharge.

Heavy and Sniper - Snioer and Heavy are the calm duo who tend to like each others presents when they sit together and the pair also like to take naps on the sofa together with Heavy looking down with his arms crossed and sniper laying back with his head over his head, the pair also like to read together and chat sometimes about Medic.

Heavy and Spy - Spy was the one who taught Heavy English as well as some other languages as he is very fluent in many, Heavy did struggle at first but Spy was calm and comfort him making Heavy glad he was his language teacher, after Heavy learnt the languages, Spy and Heavy have a nice friendship even if they don't hang out as much as they use to.

Engineer

Engineer and Medic - The Pair are buddies of science as they tend to work together on many things, they worked together with the bread tumours, they figured out how to get out of situations and they are good friends, they hang out sometimes bring both Sniper and Soldier with them and the 4 just have evening of chatting, laughing, teasing and acting like both high school girls and men.

Engineer and Sniper - the pair are cool with each other and they like to spend time outdoors together by a campfire, Engineer likes it when Snioer calls him 'truckie' and in return, he calls him 'slim' which Sniper doesn't mind, Engineer and Sniper tend to talk about their partners and they life back home as the pair were both single children so they didn't have any siblings.

Engineer and Spy - Engineer hates Spy on the BLU team but doesn't mind spy on his team even if he freaks him out sometimes with his sudden appeance, the pair don't mind each other and they do hang out sometimes but not all the time, when they do, spy tends to talk about his day, Scout and other things and Engineer listens and understands, it was also spy that started the team mom and team dad thing with Engineer and Soldier but the pair thought it was Scout and Pyro.

Medic

Medic and Sniper - The pair have been dating a little bit shorter then Soldier and Engineer and their relationship is a mix of newly weds and old married couple, they hang out, be physical and affection with each other like a old married couple but they are also very active like newlyweds, the pair love each other and the others support it happily, the pair love each other and they hope when they retire to redo the house Sniper grew up in and have least one child together somehow with many pets.

Medic and Spy - Medic and Spy don't mind each other but Medic is a little concerned about how much cigarettes Spy has as he has lost count on all the lung replacements Spy has had, he also knows Scout is Spy's son from a DNA test being one of the first ones to know but they other then that, they are cool with each other.

Sniper

Sniper and Spy - The pair tolerate each other, they find the other annoying and they seem to have gone into a routine where they just bully each other but it's all in good fun, they really don't mind each other and they do chat to each other now and again about random stuff

That's all, i hope you all like it and i'll see you all soon 😋

[robin374]

What about Medic, Sniper, Spy, Demo, possibly Engineer with an S/O who has a hard time with gifts. Like, they're hard to get a gift for because they like a few certain things. They appreciate the thought of the gifts but if it doesn't suit their needs, it's most likely going to be forgotten in a closet somewhere.

Mercs with a S/O who has a hard time getting them gifts: 

I wrote all the mercs if you don't mind. (Unedited)

Medic: 

Honestly, if you don’t get him anything related to his job or his doves it will end up in the deepest cabinet of the base. 

You always try to get him something original, but it always ends up being something related to his job. 

Once you gave him a gift and Archimedes flew to your face wanting a gift too. 

“I’m your gift, Medic.”

“Of course, you are.” Let's say that you two had a fun night. 

Scout: 

It's easy to get him a gift. Just some comic book or a new baseball bat could make him happy, and more if it's from you.

However, you're a wonderful person and you want to change the gifts. So, you tried to call his mom to find out what she used to get him.

She was very happy to see that her son's partner cared that much about him. So she told you everything about him, from his childhood to the day they separated ways.

You finally got him some new running shoes, because the others were really old and on the verge of breaking. 

Demoman:

You asked BLU Soldier if he used to get Demo gifts, and if he did what exactly. 

He punched you, not because mentioning his old friend, but because you were on the battlefield and there's no time to talk there, according to him.

You thought about getting him some drinks from your hometown, but the thought of him being drunk because of that didn't convince you.

So, again, you called his mom. She told you to get him a new job. 

Finally, you decided to get him something related to his country's history. A new sword from a Scottish king, or an axe… just don't tell him that you stole them from a museum. 

Sniper: 

This one is really difficult to be honest. He’s quiet when he wants it, but he can be open with the people he feels comfortable with.

 Anything related to his job could make him happy, some new rifle scope or a hat for his walks on ceasefires… If this is before his parents died, you called them looking for advice, his dad told you to get him out there because he didn’t want a crazed gunman as a son. Then, his mother told you some stories about him when he was a kid and told that he used to make bracelets and give them to different animals that showed up around the house. 

So you made two matching bracelets. He almost cried when you gave it to him. 

“Thank you, roo.” He whispered, while putting on the bracelet. You’ve never seen him without it since then. 

Spy:

A fancy man we’ve got here. 

French people are so difficult in general istg. He’s a mysterious man, I would understand that you had a hard time getting him a gift. 

You always try to give him new wine to try out, from your hometown or the best wine that you could afford. 

However, this time you got him a new butterfly knife with your initials written on it. He was surprised that you gave him that knife, hell, he even was surprised that you thought about getting him a gift. He always gave different little gift gifts he forgot he could receive too. 

Just don’t tell him that you had to sell your liver to afford it. Medic will take care of it. 

Heavy:

THIS MAN, we all love him. 

You thought about getting him a new minigun made in Russia. However, when you saw the price you passed out. 

Zhanna told you that you could get him a bear as a pet or something similar. Even if it was a good idea, Heavy would have a bear pet but not a loving partner because you would die while taming the bear. 

So you got him three Russian books. Fyodor Dostoyevsky to be specific, you know that English can be difficult to him and that he is an intelligent man out of the battlefield, so you got him some of Dostoyevky’s books to read. He was very happy and hugged you so tightly that almost broke you back, then he kissed your cheek as an apologizing gesture. 

Soldier:

You didn’t know if you should get him something related to America or something related to rocket launchers. 

You tried to ask Merasmus for advice but he almost sent you to Hell. 

“Cupcake! Why are you covered in ash?”

You decided to give him a medal. He was the love of your life and the best Soldier you’ve ever seen, and he also took care of his racoons pretty well. 

“...and with this medal, I declare you, Soldier, the best partner and father of raccoons the army has ever had.” 

He was so excited to receive such an important medal, after the ‘ceremony’ he kissed you on the lips until you were without breathe. 

Pyro:

Anything you get them will be fabulous and amazing in their world. You’re already an angel in their eyes so even if it was a simple stick they would be very grateful. 

You didn’t know how they would see it in their eyes, maybe that gift told them arson was a bad thing. That would ruin everything. 

You opted for getting them a new plushie, a companion for their Ballooniecorn. 

They started jumping joyfully and clapping while they watched the plushies getting along (they were having a tea party and the tea was blood, but shhh, let them be). They gave you a mask kiss and a hug as a thanks. 

Engineer: 

Yeehaw

You thought about getting him new strings for his guitar, but how is he going to need new strings when he can make them? Well, no strings then. 

You were talking with him once and he spilled out the fact that he missed his life in Bee Cave. That gave you an excellent idea. 

On your next ceasefire day, you decided to take him to his hometown as a gift. He was very grateful and showed you all the places he used to visit when he was a kid and told stories about them. Then, you went to his house there and had a romantic night.

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

Soldier headcannons

Soldier Headcanons!

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I'm going to sob. I had to look up how to spell both words right. How am I supposed to be a writer if I can't write. Anyways, mutual appreciation comment time! Thank you for being mutual and correcting my spelling 😭

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I don't write enough for him, so I'm worried but excited to try!

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I stand by the fact that this man is the typical American dad, but... he's also such a fucking crazy?

Like one day, he'll be grilling steak in an apron that says "Gold bless America" on the tits, six pack half gone, (it's 10 am) telling you the story of how he went out and killed it with his bare hands only about seven minutes ago. Then, the next day, you'll see him eating half a bag of potting soil and rocks for breakfast. Like???? And he's still in good health, so I guess whatever he's doing is working?

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Nearly shit himself when he found the bombpop vodka. Nearly killed himself, mixing it with the bombpop Mt. Dew.

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I don't see enough content with Soldier and Pyro, which is sad because, like, they're both sweet and would totally be friends.

Let's be honest, Soldier would sit and tell Pyro every piece of American history he knows, and Pyro would sit and listen. Dare I say Pyro might even enjoy listening about the history of America.

But I do think that Pyro and Soldiers friendship is different from Engie and Pyros' friendship. Pyro and Soldier are like brothers. Engie and Pyro are like father and child.

I think Engie keeps Soldier in line, too. I think them as a group would be really cute.

(Also, I think him and Scout have a father and son bond. Please it would be so sweet.)

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Speaking of history! He has one of those tables where you can reenact a war with like plastic tanks and mini figures. (I can't for the life of me remember what it's called.) He's memorized every war, every move, every anything. Tell him a specific date, and he can set it up to match what happened that day perfectly.

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While this man does act goofy and al aot playfully criminally insane. I do think he has very real issues. He is super on edge most of the time. He can't deal with sudden loud noise without a warning. He's protective over anyone and everyone. (He would take a bullet for any of his teammates).

I don't know if I'd say he has PTSD but something happened to him, and the whole loud, proud American man! Is a persona, a way to cope and find a distraction from the bad times.

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You'd think for a man who's so pro America he'd be unaware of the world around him, but you'd be wrong. This man loves other countries too, it's just happens to be the U.S., which is his everything.

He knows about the culture and life in other countries because he learned about them after he met Medic, Heavy, Spy, and Demo. He wanted to get to know them and understand their country because he just assumed everyone was as proud of their home as he was, so he wanted to be able to talk about it with them in the same way he talks about America.

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I think he reads Jane Austen and the Brontë sisters books. I can't really explain why? I just get the vibe that he likes them.

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Fourth of July is obviously his favorite holiday. But considering half the base isn't American and the other half isn't too keen on celebrating, he always thinks he's going to have to celebrate alone. But NOPE. You bet your ass the Mercs celebrate with him.

He loves his teammates, and they love him.

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Love marine biology! A huge fan of sharks and whales. Cried when he found out about whale sharks.

"ITS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL! THE BEST OF EVERYHTING!"

His favorite sharks are hammer heads, and his favorite whale is a beluga whale.

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I don't care if he has a set home state in canon. THIS MAN IS FLORIDA CODED!

He's wrestled an alligator and fucking won!

One time, the team took a vacation to Florida. I imagine this happening with him and Scout. Like vividly.

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Okay so that was really fun! I hope you liked this because I was super worried halfway through that they weren't going to be good 😭

I think he's actually a really neat character, I'm glad I got to write for him!

————————————————————

[polyhexian]

Since expanding the Jasperverse is apparently my current hobby let's try this on for size: The Collector decides rather than tattling to Philip that his current Grimwalker is stealing the new Grimwalker, it'd be WAY more entertaining to see Philip's face in the morning when he realizes what happened, and thus keeps quiet about the whole thing. Jasper makes a clean getaway with baby Hunter, but for plot reasons doesn't end up running off to some other Titan, and spends the next several years raising his son in hiding and on the run.

Fast forward to Darius finding a 6/8/10-year-old Hunter on his doorstep (or figurative doorstep, your Darius doesn't have a house so maybe it's his mom's doorstep, or Hunter corners him in Bonesborough or something), and this kid informs him that he's gotten separated from his dad, but his dad told him that if things ever went south, he could go to Darius for help.

Darius is just, like, bluescreening, because this kid looks exactly like Jasper, and admits that his dad's name IS Jasper (when it isn't something like Onyx Bloodwilliams or whatever), and is also speaking of Jasper in the present-tense, so like, 1) Jasper is alive??? and 2) JASPER HAS A KID???

A kid who is apparently relying on Darius to take care of him now. And the kid, Darius is disconcerted to learn, KNOWS Darius - he keeps asking him for his version of stories his dad has told him, like is it true that you - and can you tell me about the time you and my dad - And Darius is just like, oh my god, I never considered having kids and I was barely able to consider being in love with Jasper, but Jasper has a kid and has told the kid all about ME, and I need to be the best guardian figure possible to this child until his dad shows up and I can ask him WHAT THE HELL???

(Where's Jasper? Idk, maybe he told Hunter to split up while he goes and lays a false trail elsewhere, maybe he's dealing with bounty hunters who aren't even after them for Golden Guard stuff because who knows what Jasper's been getting up to for the last few years, maybe he's gotten in with the rebellion and is running a mission or something, who knows.)

Also Hunter is, like, a weird kid with a number of worrying skills. He's not a child soldier in this 'verse, more like a child spy. He goes through life like he's playing the world's most intense game of hide-and-seek. He squints suspiciously at everyone and everything. He can pick a lock in 6 seconds. He recreationally pickpockets and thinks it's doubly fun to reverse-pickpocket the item without his mark even realizing it was missing. He can cry on command and make for a good distraction. He knows how to break someone's instep if they try to grab him. He eats bugs.

Bonus irony points if this Hunter still has all the issues Canon Hunter has, but he has those issues because he's loved, not abused. He's very good at doing exactly what he's told…because he knows his and his dad's survival depends on doing everything Jasper says when he says it. He's scarily good at fighting for his age…because Jasper's trained him to be able to defend himself. He's got PTSD and anxiety…because he's spent his whole life worried that people will hurt him and his father. He doesn't have any friends…because they've never been able to stay in one place for very long.

Idk where Darius would stash Hunter for safekeeping. I mean, for HILARITY and SUSPENSE it'd be great to see him trying to sneak the kid around the castle. Hide him in his apartments. Shove him under his office desk whenever some other Coven Head comes in for a chat. Hunter takes it upon himself to explore the castle's fantasy ventilation system and maps out every vent and secret passage in the place to pass the time and give Darius a heart attack. Darius finds a tiny scout uniform and insists that this is totally just a small demon that's been assigned to Darius as an escort. Hunter is scarily good at maintaining a disguise, and Darius doesn't have time to unpack all that. Hm, we know nothing about the covens themselves, could there be some sort of masked Abomination Coven uniform? That'd be better so no one could try to reassign Darius's random scout escort.

The castle might not be feasible though (and Darius would realize that getting Hunter anywhere NEAR the castle would be the EXACT OPPOSITE of what Jasper would want him to do) so the other options are stashing Hunter at his mom's house or recruiting Eda into the situation.

Darius: I need you to house this kid. Eda: Do I LOOK like a babysitter?? Darius: He can pick a lock in six seconds and he's pickpocketed you twice since we started this conversation. Eda: …Intriguing.

Either way though, Darius knows he has to be there for Hunter. He knows that Jasper is relying on him to be there for Hunter. It's like, here Darius, have a universe where you DON'T shoot yourself in the foot and hurt the people you love! He barely understands what's happening and he never wanted kids and he doesn't know if he and Jasper would ever have been a thing so maybe he's not the stepdad but by GOD is he gonna be the dad that stepped up.

Hunter is a good kid despite his upbringing and is really excited to finally meet Darius after everything his dad told him about the guy, but he also really misses his dad and is worried if Jasper's okay. Darius is like, come on, we both know your dad is the strongest witch in the world (even if APPARENTLY NEITHER OF YOU HAVE MAGIC WTF??) he'll be fine. And Darius is maybe not cut out to be a father, but Hunter's a weird kid anyway, so they make it work. Granted Hunter gets REALLY irritated by some things, like, Darius doesn't know how to be as attentive to his infodumps as his dad is, and Darius can't teleport, and one time Hunter skins his knees really bad and Darius slaps on a healing patch and Hunter is REALLY UNIMPRESSED to learn Darius can't just HEAL IT HIMSELF and Darius is like HUNTER YOUR STANDARDS ARE SUPER HIGH AND A LITTLE SKEWED, OKAY???

Jasper might show up again out of the blue perfectly normal, but we all know Jasper's an overdramatic bastard so it's more likely he shows up at some climactic moment while Darius and Hunter are surrounded by enemies that Jasper blasts to kingdom come, or Jasper shows up missing approximately half his blood like "Hey Darius, do you have my kid?" before passing out while Darius is like WTF and Hunter is like "he does this sometimes."

Btw if you wanna make things even MORE complicated, throw in a new Golden Guard who's an adult Grimwalker but only a few years younger than Hunter. He could be an evil asshole or Jasper 2.0 or idk whatever the plot demands. Lol maybe he's an adult version of Will who doesn't have active decomposition issues. Literally no idea what purpose he'd serve in the plot beyond possibly existing tho.

Eberwolf thinks Hunter is great and thinks the whole situation is a riot and is generally very unhelpful except for when he's actually extremely helpful. Darius would like Eberwolf to stop feeding the child bugs. Maybe at some point Raine gets involved (surely they are doing work IN the Bard Coven long before they become its Head Witch, yeah?) and is like "Darius why do you have a child??" and Darius is like "Don't ask and don't say anything" and Raine watches Hunter lockpick his way into a file cabinet of restricted info and just kinda melts because it reminds them of a certain OTHER miscreant chaos child…

Darius and Hunter's relationship has its ups and downs because on the one hand, Hunter is excited to meet this guy, but on the other hand Hunter is a young kid under a lot of stress and Darius wasn't expecting Hunter to exist let alone be his responsibility and also Jasper probably left some stuff out during storytime. Hunter was NOT prepared for Darius to be this…stuffy. Darius is like "Here I got you some new clothes so you don't look like a streetrat" and Hunter is like "I understand the importance of blending in but why is it so fancy-looking" (Hunter thinks anything with a single frill is fancy) and Darius is like "look at all the extra hidden pockets I sewed in for you" and Hunter is like "SOLD."

Basically tho it's a Jasperverse Dadrius AU where Darius gets to be the good guy and Hunter is messed up in all the same ways for completely different reasons, lol.

WHY DO YOU KEEP SLAPPING ME WITH THESE FUCKING BANGERS???? EXCUSE YOU????

I imagine hunter is also very independent... He probably HAS been left alone before, more than jaspers wishes he was. But it's either bring him somewhere dangerous or leave him behind.

I'm going to imagine he still HAS his old GG staff but because it's so old now it's sort of... Like dying batteries, it's way past its warranty. He uses it extremely sparingly and only when there's literally no other option. So generally neither of them are using magic.

Belos must KNOW he got away. And I actually think he wouldn't put up wanted signs for him or anything- jasper hasn't exposed any of his secrets because he's in hiding. But if he's shoved out of hiding he's going to have to go scorched earth to survive. So theyre on the run... But only certain people know to look for him. Coven scouts all know they're looking for a tall blonde man with four scars on his face. Higher level members of the emperor's coven know way more about him. People like Lilith and kikimora know he was the previous GG.

But only the next GG know who he REALLY is..the next one knows he's a Grimwalker past his warranty, and so is Hunter. He is HUNTING them. Actively.

Man what could split jasper and hunter badly enough that he would pull the trigger on going to Darius after all these years and expose the huge secret that he's still alive? That he has a kid? He obviously hasn't gone to Darius yet, so he considers this a risk. What would put him at greater danger than leaving him to find Darius by himself?

I think jasper would legitimately have to be in serious danger. Maybe he gets seriously wounded fleeing coven scouts and he knows he can't protect Hunter like this so he sends him running the opposite way while he keeps them busy, so Hunter doesn't... Actually know if he's okay or not

OH! Omg hang on... They got caught by the new GG and jasper got seriously wounded like. He's bleeding everywhere. And he sends hunter away, get out of here, go find Darius. I'll find you. And hunter doesn't know for SURE if he's okay or not but he's soooo sure his dad can handle anything, nobody could ever REALLY hurt him! And Darius isn't so sure, but... Nothing HAPPENS. Like there's no big petrification ceremony or anything. If he's dead he was killed quietly. He has no idea where jasper is or if he's okay but he's got his kid now and hunter is CERTAIN his dad is fine, he will be here soon. He keeps saying stuff like "when Dad comes back" like when Dad comes back he can show you x thing or when Dad comes back you can tell him y! And Darius doesn't... Know what to say and he's terrified of when the ball might drop that.. it's been days and he's not here yet. It's been more days and he's not here yet.

ONLY HES NOT DEAD because the next GG isn't nearly as loyal as Jasper was. He's caught him and is basically holding him hostage secret from Belos trying to get his OWN answers on what's going on and what's true.

[littleguypumpkinsheep]

Hey what if HeavyMedic adopted Scout. I wrote about that

“3, 2… 1.” 

The camera flashed, whirring quietly while it spat the film out. The photographer took it from the dispenser and shook it a little, showing the family that had now crowded around them the just-starting results of the photo. They couldn’t see it clearly yet, but this didn’t dim their excitement. 

“The photo will be clear in an hour,” they said, handing it over. 

“Gut, danke schön!” 

“Heavy also thanks you.” 

The photographer gave a formal bow and packed their equipment, bidding their slightly strange customers farewell. It didn’t much matter to them, though, because they paid good money.

Once alone the new family yelled and cheered ecstatically, crushing themselves into a massive and deliriously overjoyed bear hug with Scout in the middle of it. They couldn’t see each other through the laughter, or tears, but they clung to each other. This little family, this bond formed from chance and the unyielding determination to make it, was finally official. The paperwork had been signed, approved, and a photo was taken to permanently seal this moment in history. 

Scout was their son.

Heavy had a sudden surge of overwhelming affection, hoisting up both his husband and son and spinning them around, an act done out of unbridled love. It only stopped short when Scout choked out that he was crushing him to death, but it was taken in good humor. Medic fixed Scout’s clothes, and then let him run off to tell the others about his adoption. He was better than all of them now; he had two freakin’ dads! That was more than he’d had in his entire life and probably more than they had in theirs. And he had a mom. He was truly the superior man. All he was missing now was a girlfriend, but, y’know, that could wait. 

The other two mercs talked quietly amongst themselves, discussing their decision and the excitement and nervousness about being parents. Medic reassured Heavy that there would be no need to buy bottles because Scout was already an adult, which was a hard sentence to say without laughing. Heavy had been so anxious he’d simply forgotten, and mildly stewed in embarrassment for a moment. All was quickly forgotten when his husband kissed him, something sweet and simple, and he mellowed out again. He leaned down to return the favor when they were both interrupted. 

“I see you’ve adopted my son.” 

They turned, mild surprise turning into annoyance and disinterest. A tense beat of silence passed as Spy paused to light a cigarette. 

“You’ve known about it,” Medic said stiffly, and the Frenchman held up his hands. 

“Of course. I’m not looking to start a fight. I only wish to ask of you one thing,” he said. The other mercenaries stared him down, expressions and stances hostile. Spy was very aware of this, and submitted to it. 

“Please …Be better men than I was. Take care of him.” 

Gravel crunched under Heavy’s feet as he took a few steps forward, Medic trailing behind him with a hand on his shoulder. 

“You were not “man”. You abandoned our son like coward, and you are telling us to be men?” 

“Yes. We are offering him something you were never capable of giving. Even now, you can’t get past your pride enough to tell him you were an idiot. It’s quite insulting.” 

Spy did not say anything for a long while. Emotions he had worked so hard to bottle up were resurfacing like shattered glass in his stomach. Shame. Anger. 

Regret.

“Es tut mir leid, Ludwig.”

“Don’t. This discussion is over. I feel it fair to say to leave our family alone. We are coworkers at most and this matter does not concern you. If you have as much wit as you say you do, you will understand this.” 

Heavy only had one other thing to say. Spy did not deserve his wasted breath.

“Do not apologize to Doctor. Apologize to Scout.” 

And with that, there was nothing more any of them had to say. 

Spy had lost his wife, his son, Medic, and Heavy. They were never “friends”, not really, but it felt like something irreversible had been chipped off, sunk to the bottom like a chunk of ice in the ocean. Something already fragile. Something already hard to hold on to, easy to slip up, to ruin. And he had done all of it. There was nothing left of his and Scout’s relationship to repair. One had never been fostered in the first place. It was all just unthinking selfishness, the need to preserve his dignity over letting his son heal. He thought about it. About what it must feel like. To know you had a dad, but not if he ever loved you. If he was there at all. 

Scout would never know.

[reinabeestudio]

I'm late, but using my (recent) birthday as an excuse to ramble about Cee and the other mercs—mostly Cee, with hints of ship stuff :]

This is kinda long btw

The arrival of Ms. Doremi was not something unexpected, since the team had been notified a few days prior of a new hire from Spain. However, she wasn't what they imagined.

The answer depends on who you ask, but all of them more or less were expecting a tough mercenary, someone that has clearly fought and killed before. Someone that gets the job done no matter what. But before them was the damndest fanciest lady they've ever seen. Scout was the one tasked to showing her around due to being the fastest, and it was clear some doubts about this new teammate quickly started to appear after each one met her personally.

Not only that, but there was something particular about Ms. Doremi: she had a room for herself like the others, but she didn't always sleep on it. In fact, many nights she'd leave the base and come back in the morning. Spy even identified her car as an ivory Seat 600 D. Not exactly a model seen in the US.

Now, as I mentioned in past posts, I ship her with almost all of them (except Pyro)—not at the same time. So how things develop depends on the merc! Although the ones I think about the most are Engineer, Soldier, and Scout.

I'll focus only on Engineer/Cee for now. Maybe I'll explore different reactions in the future (please ask me about any of the other ships gimme an excuse to gush please please please pl--).

Surprise, he fell in love at first sight 💥

I imagine they found him on his workshop, arguing with one of the others for touching his tools or something else (probably Spy? I like to think they don't get along at all lol). So there he was, cursing up a Texan Storm(tm) until he hears stifled laughter behind him and he turns around like ???. And when he sees her, he completely freezes.

“Apologies, I didn't mean to laugh. You just have such a way with words, I coulnd't help”

And aren't you a vision of loveliness.

She would offer her hand for a handshake, while introducing herself. How proper, ain't she cute. “I'm Cee Doremi. I'm the new RED member. And what might your name be?”

“I'm mighty sorry 'bout earlier, promise I'm nicer than that!” He took her hand then, a bit too tightly. “Dell Conagher, or the Engineer. At your service.”

“It's alright, Mr. Conagher. As my mother used to say, when we argue it's because we care. Don't you think?”

“Please, call me Dell. And I can't say I fully agree with ya, Ms. Doremi, but I can see yer point!"

“Call me Cee." God, that smile of hers could resurrect an angel. The guy is practically leaking toony hearts while Spy and Scout look at them like 👁 (nosy father & nosy son lol). “It was nice meeting you. But I still have to finish my little tour, and I'd kindly like to have my hand back, yes?”

Engie's face scrunched up in confusion before he looked down at his hand and noticing that he's, in fact, still shaking her hand.

So she waved him bye and he waved back with a face warmer than an oven. Meanwhile Spy just looked at him with the most insufferable knowing smile ever.

“What a gracefully embarassing display of those 11 PhDs, pardner.”

“Shut it, you snake.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ⟐ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

Time passes, and Cee's presence is just one more on base. She even got her own nickname: the Lady (very original). It started as a joke, but it ended up just becoming a thing lol.

She gets along with her teammates! Some more than others, but she has a minimum level of property that she doesn't seem to like breaking, no matter how rude some people might be. Old habits, she calls it (makes you curious how she was raised).

And everyday as usual, when night comes, she drives off... somewhere. And everyday she comes back in the morning. She's been asked about this by the others many times; she has her own room here, what's the need of leaving every night? Where does she even go? But as polite as she is, that's a question she doesn't answer.

Until one day the answer comes to them.

Cee called for a meeting, which was odd. She was the only one standing up, the rest of the mercs sitting down and no doubt confused what was going on.

“As all of you know, I spend most of my nights outside of the base. First I want to clarify, I have no problem with my room. I'm thankful I was given my own space.” she started, her hands clasped in front of her. “But I did for a good reason. Something very important.”

She explains how she was told by the higher-ups it'd be best if she stopped the car trips, mostly because the enemy could follow her and learn the location of the base. How she explained her situation, and a solution would be searched.

But until then, she'd have to compromise.

“I'm only doing this because I have no other choice. Apologies in advance,” she finished explaining.

They see Cee turn around to the doorframe behind her and says something in Spanish (“Ya podéis salir”). And the 9 mercs watch with wide eyes how a young girl and a young boy come out and quickly go to Cee, the kids looking at the men while hiding behind her. They looked similar to Cee.

“Gentlemen, these are my twins: Lance and Renée.”

She looked down at them, gently patting their heads. “They will be staying on my bedroom, until a safer place for them is found. I've already told them to behave and not bother any of you unless it's a dire situation and I'm not around. Please, be patient with them while they are here.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ⟐ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

An addendum: Cee comes from wealth and was raised 'properly' and to be ladylike at all times.

She's not helpless tho, she was hired as a merc after all lol (and by the time she meets the mercs, it's been many years since she was in that upper social bubble). But she has a lot of old habits ingrained in her due to her upbringing, and being with the mercs is when she really learns how to let loose.

Yes I know, I didn't really talk about actual ships AJSDNGDS. But I thought that it'd be best to first establish some facts about Cee for better understanding ☝ If you wanna learn more, ask about it (/j /lh)

[whatamiobsessingovertoday]

I’ve recently joined the TF2 fandom and don’t know if this isn’t already a head cannon but it is something I thought of and cannot (will not) let go of.

So Spy abandoned Scout as a child, we know this, but why? There are many answers but I have a favorite.

I believe he left, not because of his fears of commitment of abandonment or because he doesn’t love Scout or anything like that, I think it is because he tried to settle down with Scout’s family… then he was attacked.

I know that sounds far fetched eight now but hear me out ok? Picture this:

Spy taking care of a young Jeremy as Scout’s mom sleeps in the other room. It’s very quiet in the house because all the other kids are at school and Spy is enjoining his afternoon with Jeremy. Then someone throws an explosive through the window. Spy barley reacts in time to jump out of the way, Jeremy still in his arms but now wailing. Several men break into the house and begin attacking him and Spy barley manages to fight them off and protect Jeremy. When it’s all over the house looks like a mess and there’s a note attached to one of the attackers threatening Spy. Spy and Scout’s mom realize in this moment that it wouldn’t be safe for Spy to stay, it would be better if he left.

Maybe for a while afterwards Spy would try to watch from afar as his son grew up, which leads to Jeremy being followed by creepy white vans and men in suits. Jeremy’s mom finds out that her son is uncomfortable and clearly being tracked and puts two and two together. She finds Spy and demands that he leaves her son alone. Spy is hurt to say the least but accepts it, for the sake of Jeremy. Maybe he’d be better off without him.

Anyways, I like to say I’d die on this hill but every day I go from wanting Spy to be an amazing dad to wanting him to die a slow, painful death. I’ll possibly reboot this and write about how much I hate him on a day that I hate him.

[tf2heritageposts]

Cursed thought about TF2 as a dnd characters (warning: dnd rules used loosely pls don't correct me it's been years and also rule of cool bitches)

Demoman is a warlock who unknowingly made a contract with a minor demon for his powers (he was drunk and could barely TALK straight. Poor bloke /affectionate). Minor demon who gave him his power now haunts his eyeball socket. I know he's tall but i think he'd be a halfling. Or at least raised by them.

Medic would be a paladin cleric multi class (i know boring but hold on). He started off as a "cleric" worshiping a god that DEFINITELY should not have been worshipped (and he gives him sacrifice via Archimedes dove delivery) because it was one of the more deranged local medical academic gods. I say medical academic because he is more a god of experiments than actually healing... Which is why he likes medic so much cause he's like "let's just put a baboon uterus inside you... Fuck it let's do three". Anyway Medic is soooo devoted to this gods cause that the sheer time, planning, and effort to removed that first human skeleton while the person was alive became his oath that gave him his paladin powers. Not even the god (who later possesses Archimedes after the dove nearly dies) saw that coming.

Spy is a rogue (obviously fucking look at him) but he's also a changeling decendent of an arcane trickster, hence his shape shifting abilities and his taste for... The shiner and nicer things in life.

Scout is his fighter tiefling son who is CONVINCED his dad is this famous demon singer who wrote a song called "sex bomb" (scout does not know what a sex or a bomb is until engine sits down to explain to him). His mother and all his brothers and stuff are human nobody knows why he's the only tiefling in the fam uh *looks at spy*. He still fights with a baseball bat. Not a club. A baseball bat. And he's still from Boston. Somehow.

Also for lolz instead of pyro being a wizard who constantly casts fireball he's actually an artificer! He keeps thinking he's building cute fun weapons and weapon mods when really theyre weapons of mass destruction because when he was young he was "blessed" by the fair folk to only see good things. We both know how that's going.

On the other hand engineer THINKS he's an artificer but actually he's a wizard and his dad and grandpa's notes on complex inventions hes trying to build + improve is actually his family grimoire.

-Not DND anon but actually the allergic to alcohol and can only kiss demoman once anon

P.S. i think if i take a bunch of Benadryl first and wash my mouth out after i'll live. Me and my friends have been discussing this in detail.

holy hell this is some good hyperfixation goodness, let me respond to each one

1. that is an excellent idea for a demoman warlock concept. honestly he’d probably be a patron for something like the old one or whatnot

2. i am in such love with this concept i am about to make a fucking sheet for this for kicks lh my god

3. good idea

4. also in love with this concept. also fantasy boston

5. also in love with this concept

6. that’s an interesting take, but to be honest i really can’t see engineer as anything but an artificer. artificer wizard multiclass sounds fun though

7. you be careful with that man, talk to your doctor

[blackmambaboobs]

TF2 Dudes X Fat (Gender Neutral) Reader Headcanons:

Scout:  -He was so used to getting dates and/or hookups with skinny to average people that he never realized how good a fat person is?? He wasn’t picky or against fat people, that’s just how it worked out. But as soon as you come into his life, he is in love. -He loves resting his head on your stomach while he reads his comic books. But if you give him scritches on his head and just rub his head with a soft hum? Oh, he just melts. God, please continue to give him scritches-  -He’ll often make suggestions and jokes of thigh fucking (he loves your thighs so god damn much, pLeAsE). -He calls you “Chipmunk” or “Chucklenuts” (affectionally) because of your chubby cheeks. -Be warned ‘cause he will slap your ass (flat or not). Spy: -Just like his son, he never realized how good a fat person is (also not an Asshole to fat people or anything). -He buys you clothing that hugs your figure because one: You look amazing in it, two: He loves to show you off and your gorgeousness, and three: He loves to watch you when you bend down or move, imagining how you’ll look under him when he gets home (or to the base) with you so he can fuck you. -Loves to tease you affectionally and pinch your rolls (but he’ll stop if it bothers you). -Loves to squish your cheeks together with one hand so he watch your lips pucker and because he loves how squishy you are. Sniper: -He’s had a few dates with multiple types of body shapes, but never really got to appreciate them. -This man is so touch starved so when you go to hug him or some shit, he wants to cry?? You’re so soft and warm?? Is this why people love weighted blankets so much??  -He loves your stomach, hands down, especially your rolls. And yes, he will knead them like a cat if you let him. -Loves to trace your stretch marks, it helps calm him (bonus if he gets to hear you giggle ‘cause you’re ticklish).  -Gives you the nickname “Roo” ‘cause of your stomach since it reminds him of a kangaroo’s pouch (which he loves). -Is really into the idea of thigh fucking but he’s too shy to ask for it-  Soldier:  -He loves your cheeks!! He will pinch them, kiss them and squish them!!  -Will randomly shout compliments at you about how wonderful you look (and also helping you breath ‘cause he scared the shit out of you).  -Always happy to help choose outfits with you that make you look even cuter!  -Does not care if he looks weird/strange for showing you lovin’ in public (he always has heart eyes under his helmet whenever he sees you).  -Will shoot someone that happens to insult you with a rocket. -Calls you “Cupcake” ‘cause you’re sweet and squishy like one!  Pyro: -Would die for the squish, literally, they love your squish so much, Man?? -Calls you their marshmallow and likes to poke you because of it. -They often draw pictures of you as a marshmallow or some other squishy treat because they think you’re cute like one!! -Loves to pinch your cheeks! They’ll often just stare as you eat just because of the fact your cheeks puff up- -Wants to leave little burn marks over your thighs and stomach to mark you (of course, with aftercare!!). -Please model cute clothing for them, they will die happily if you do!!  -Loves how warm you are!! Medic: -Finds you so fascinating!! He’ll often joke about how he should study you because of how soft and warm you are (wink, wink). -His doves love you so much too, they appreciate your squish and love cuddling up to you! It often gets cold in the medical room, so you’re their personal heater! -He loves to see you in beautiful white clothing, especially if it hugs your figure.  -He calls you “Dove” just because of how sweet and soft you are like one! -Anyone that insults you? RIP, ‘cause they’ll be going through Hell in the medical room-  Heavy:  -He doesn’t say much about your squish, but don’t worry, he loves it!  -He calls you his little bunny or bear just because of the fact you remind him of them. -Loves to hold you in his lap (as long as you’re okay with it), he appreciates your softness and warmth and your weight is comforting to him ‘cause it reminds him that you’re there with him. -Loves to gently hold your face as he gives you soft kisses all over your face -He’s so soft for you, my god- Engineer:  -Cutest couple alive?? *Eyes emoji* -Loves your squish!! So much!! -He calls you his personal stuffed animal and “Honeybee” because you’re sweet and soft like one! -Loves to squish your stomach and will have the biggest lovey-dovey expression as he kneads it (it relaxes him).  -Loves to smother your stomach in kisses! He loves your giggles and squeals, oh my God-  -You make him melt so many times and you don’t even need to do anything- Demoman:  -This man is addicted to your squish like his alcohol, he needs it-  -Loves to squish your thighs, and the little squeaks you do when he does it. -He knows he reeks of alcohol, but God, he just wants to smother your squishy face in kisses (please let him)-  -Will also slap your ass regardless if it’s flat or not.  -Often before he passes out from being drunk, he’ll lay his head on your thighs or stomach and just pass out then and there. -He goes f e r a l if you wear tight clothing and has to remember to breathe- 

[vintage-rejects]

Alright so... hcs for a male s/o whose touch starved... SPECIFIC IK BUT..

My first relevant ask in a while!! I’ll happily humor you!

Important to note, these “the whole team hcs” are written by me and my bestie @xxcandyacidxx !! I take care of Spy, Scout, Sniper, and Engineer! They take care of Medic, Demo, Pyro, Heavy, and Soldier! When we brr about fandoms, we like to split the characters up amongst themselves <3 Since I only ““own”” 4 mercs, I’ll throw a Blu Spy in there for you too!! Credit where credit is due! Let’s begin!

Spy - Renard is a whore in every sense of the word. I’m sorry Red Spy, but you are— His second most common whore type though, is attention whore. It’s common knowledge Red Spy likes to smother his lovers. Treat them to classy dinners and romantic dancing. He just loves to spoil them with gifts and attention. However, the notion his handsome new beau is starved? Renard couldn’t be more excited! Someone he can touch constantly?! A man he can weaken just with a soft kiss on the temple, and hands on the hips? What a man! Red Spy happily fulfills any needs his hubby has, no questions asked! He doesn’t care if he has to miss team meals or skip out on a few card games. His lover’s needs are a priority. Expect lots of affection ranging from a loving nuzzle on the cheek to an ass grab. Renard is a lot to handle.

Spy - Faustin is honestly a bit overwhelmed. He’s a rather calm, professional man. He likes to keep his personal business private, as to not only protect himself but also others. Blu Spy was lucky enough to score the man of his dreams, however he comes to find out.. His darling is rather tough starved. It’s not a bad thing! No, never! He’d never say that! However, he is a little surprised by the whole thing. Nevertheless, Blu Spy was raised to be a gentleman. He will carry his husband around, tangle legs with him under the table, and hook his arm when walking side by side. He tries to be subtle around the team, mostly to avoid all the gay jokes his son will lovingly toss at him. That doesn’t mean he’s cold, Blu Spy is very loving behind closed doors. He’s a big cuddler under the sheets, and will do anything asked of him. As with Red Spy, his lover comes first.

Scout - Good god Scout, what to say about him? Let’s just say, Scout’s very attention-whorey too. He gets it from Spy lmaooo Scout’s pretty good about it, actually! Not only will he brag he’s got the hottest stud in his bedroom, but also he’ll brag about the fact you fuckers cuddle! That’s right, cuddle! Kiss each other’s hands and play with each other’s hair! That’s right, you too are so in love! The others couldn’t handle it, I mean, Scout’s husband is sooo hot!! Like Scout himself, yeah!! You guys are great— Jokes aside, Scout is actually affection starved too! This shows in how openly affectionate he is! A hand always on your shoulder, maybe your lower back. He loves holding hands and giving surprise hugs. He’s soft for rubbing foreheads together! Scout is a bundle of love very ready to smack you in the fact with affection!

Sniper - Full disclaimer, my Snipers are on the Aro/Ace Spectrum!! Red Sniper, in particular, is Asexual! I guess specifically he’s demisexual? However, that’s not the point— God, is Mundy shy. He’s the shyest man anyones ever met. You say one nice thing to him? He blushes, very bad. He gets red at the sight of a wink, he’s a very bad blusher. Though, he’s real sweet when he needs to be. Sniper isn’t opposed to the constant affection his boyfriend wants… Though, he’s always gonna turn red at the act of hand holding. He puts in the effort! Though, it is the more platonic stuff! Hand holding, hugging, cuddling, etc… His favorite is to lean against his partner. He loves to do that!

Engineer - If there’s one thing about Engineer, it’s that he provides. A hug? He’ll give you one. A kiss? Pucker up, Sugar. A date? Now you’re just messing with him! However, the news his Darlin’ is in needing of some lovin’? Well, saddle up baby because you’re gettin’ it! Engie’s love is more subtle, like an old married couple kinda love. Pet names, side hug, resting a head on his husband’s shoulder. Stuff like that. He’s happy to provide, all you need to do is ask!

Soldier - He's not a veteran of physical affection but the second he hears or sees you are indeed touch, hugs. Kisses, hugs, all day everyday. Does not care. Shit he ain't even know what hand holding is all about but he'll gladly do it if it makes you happy. His man's gotta have everything he can provide.

Pyro - Another touch starved being on the team, he is very shy with his romancing. But physical touch is definitely something he can do. He hugs the team a lot but makes extra effort to hug you most. Invites you to watch looney tunes and this dude is wrapping his arms around you. With lots of stuffed animals around. If there's anyone to go to for affection, it's Pyro. Just make sure you give him some in return as well.

Demo - Upon seeing you are touch-starved, he doesn't know what to do right away. Deadass goes "Ok but what kind." He'll quickly warm up though and as someone who enjoys tons of physical affection, he doesn't want to scare you if that makes sense. Tries to ease you into getting affection regularly. Holds your hand anytime you're sitting or drunkenly sneaking into your room for some cuddles aight. Deal with it.

Heavy - He's definitely not new to the idea but doesn't exactly know how to go about it either. He grew up with tidbits of physical affection in his family, especially from his mom but he's not quite understanding to why someone might be starved of it. Still gives it though, more than before as well once he finds out. And lemme tell you this man gets soft. Will gladly carry you as he's reading a book.

Medic - Medic himself did not grow up with a lot of physical affection. In fact unless he trusts you, he sort of hates it. But fortunately, you grow onto him enough. Like Heavy, he also doesn't understand the concept of wanting constant physical touch. The only time he even touches anybody is a checkup or if he's angry. But just introduce him to the idea at first and he'll make efforts to hug you and what else you need more. Funny enough, he starts craving it after a while too. Demands you sit in his lap so he can hug you after a long day. He's awkward and stiff at first but he warms up over time and learns quickly what you like in physical affection.

Hope you enjoyed!!

[welcome-to-ikea]

My personal take on Spy & Scout’s Ma’s relationship- how they met, how it went with Spy being a merc, and eventual reuniting

Spy grew up in France obv, in a pretty good family (money-wise anyway. His parents were shitheads) and not in Paris but in some other pretty large city. He met Scout’s Ma when she came over to France as part of a learn-abroad experience her school was doing. At first he didn’t really like her, hoity-toity French n all, but fairly quickly warmed up to her. He found it endearing the way she stumbled through her French, tried so hard to be polite to everyone, but at the same time wouldn’t hesitate to slap a bitch if they were actively rude. They became friends, and gradually it evolved into dating (much to Spy’s parent’s disapproval). Spy took everything that was legally his and moved to America with Ma.

His absolute first priority was getting a job- while he had already been working on spy skills and was considering being a mercenary or smthn similar, he went for a more. Legal job, but still practiced merc stuff on his own. He got a *good* job, hella good pay, and bought Ma’s dream house. They got married, had seven kids (some of them weren’t from Spy BUT Ma & Spy talked beforehand and both were fine with it. They trust each other, besides we all know Ma’s getting men left&right), were still doing great- and then when Ma was pregnant with Jeremy, Spy got fired.

At this point they’ve been together a long time, obv, and Ma is perfectly aware of Spy’s hobbies. Her own dad was a mercenary, so she’s not objected to it at all- she’s just worried abt the safety of the family and potentially not seeing Spy again if he takes it up. But they ultimately decide it’s the best and fastest option. So despite how much it hurts Spy and Ma and their sons, he leaves. He tells Ma to tell Jeremy only a little about him, although his name is allowed since he’s going to legally change it once he goes to the country his first job is in. Spy continues to get paid well through his job as a merc, more than his old job, and routinely sends as much money as is safe to. Sending the money is a whole PROCESS to avoid traceability, but he does it anyway

And then after many many years, after even young little Jeremy is grown up and just left for his first job (RED merc) a few weeks ago, Ma gets a letter. She’d gotten letters before, she always burned them. She knew they weren’t from Spy; they always had some meaningful little word or doodle that was shared between him and her. Because they both knew it, that meant it was discoverable by someone else, and not reliable as a way to say “it’s really me”, so if it were on there it meant the letter wasn’t his. She’d even gotten letters with nothing special on them- whoever was forging them saw how she threw them away, figured out why, and stopped doing it.

But THIS letter. It had a meaningless ink drip. A small little blotch over one of the words. Something Spy would never let be seen on something he wrote. Unless it was intentional.

It was a real letter from him, and it said he had a persistent job that was also secure. He apologized profusely for not talking for so long, and told her he hoped with all his being she still knew he has always and still does love her. And she writes back. She never stopped loving him, either. Sure, it was difficult, and sometimes she cursed him for being so uber-careful, but she still *loved* him. They start writing back and forth to each other (scout writes to Ma too ofc), they write so often that Admin had to yell at Spy for using up all the postage.

Somewhere like a year and a half in, she gets a letter from Spy essentially saying “scout found out 💀” and a letter from Scout essentially saying “THIS is my dad?? This French fuck who’s a routine asshole?” (Over time scout calms down and accepts it- he still isn’t very close with spy, and still views him more as a coworker than a dad, but he doesn’t not care about him either)

And then one more year later Ma gets an excited letter from Scout saying she’s allowed to come to the base for Christmas. Shortly after she gets a letter from Spy saying “I assume Jeremy’s already told you all about it. It would be more wonderful than words can describe to see you again.” He jokes about how it wasn’t cheap to “convince” admin to let Ma come, but mostly he just misses her like all hell. She comes over, meets the whole team, but most importantly she and Spy fully reunite again and love wins <33

[camthesolemnone]

*crashes through door*

HI I HAVE ANOTHER ONE!!

Ok. Soulmate AU!! it's the one with the red string connecting you to your soul mate by your pinkie. Make up some rules for it if you need to!! I like to do the thing where the string gets tighter/looser as they move closer and farther from their s/o.

Ok, goodnight, I love you, bye!

*mwah*

*passes out just outside door*

Whoops accidentally made Zhanna older than Heavy in this one. Well I mean, maybe she is, but I've always written Mikhail as the oldest child in his family. Anyway, enjoy!

Wide eyes full of tears and flushed cheeks was what Mama came across upon turning to face who was tugging at her shawl. Little Zhanna, no more than five, was highly concerned about her baby brother.

"Mama! Misha’s finger is blue!"

Fearing that her son had developed gangrene from the cold brought on by the heavy storm outside, the distressed mother turned away from her soup pot and made haste towards the living room.

"Zhanna! Go get your father!" She instructed, entering the space, and the small girl nodded rapidly as she dashed off to where Papa was doing laundry.

Mama approached her child. The infant was situated in the center of the carpet, tiny hands shaking and eyes also leaking. Mikhail couldn't form words yet. He could only helplessly wail as he became light-headed; he had lost all feeling in his pinkie finger.

Mama kneeled down near him, and Zhanna and Papa appeared a second later.

"What is going on! Is moy syn alright?" The older man cried.

Mama took the boy’s hands in her own and examined them closely. As Zhanna had announced, his left pinkie was a light shade a blue. At the base of Mikhail’s finger was a small red string, fastened so tightly that it constricted the blood flow. The Russian mother breathed a sigh of relief.

“There is nothing to fear, he has simply acquired his soulstring,” Mama explained, standing up and giving her family a reassuring nod.

Papa let out his own held breath at the fortunate news, but Zhanna simply stared at her parents in confusion.

“Mama, what is a soulstring?”

Her father reached out to grasp her mother’s hand, and the two of them smiled down at their daughter.

“Young Zhanna, a soulstring is leetle red string around your pinkie that connects you to your soulmate: the person you are destined to fall in love with. Some people’s thread appears immediately after birth, but for others, it can take several years before their special partner is chosen,” Mama revealed.

Papa added on, motioning to Mikhail in the process.

“The tighter the string is, the farther you are away from your soulmate. Seeing as your brother’s is strong enough to cut off circulation, there is good chance his soulmate does not live in this country.”

Zhanna glanced over at the thread on Mikhail’s finger and then back to her parents, crossing her arms.

“What happens to the string when you find your ‘soulmate?’“ Zhanna inquired.

Papa crouched down to ruffle his daughter’s hair while Mama picked up Mikhail and left the room to resume dinner.

“Once you meet fated love, the string falls off for good,” he explained.

The small girl beamed and ran a hand through her black hair.

“Chudesno! I can’t wait to get my soulstring!”

.

Mikhail had given up on his chances of ever finding his love or feeling his finger again.

Forty seven years had passed since the red string initially appeared on his pinkie, and not once had he ever felt it loosen up. He felt hopeless and silently wondered most days if the higher beings had made a mistake. Maybe he truly wasn’t attached to anyone and they had tied the thread just to spite him. Instead, the Russian decided to spend his time taking care of his family.

His father had long since passed and Yana and Bronislava had run off with their soulmates, but at least Mikhail could still provide for his mother and Zhanna.

An ad in the newspaper intrigued him one morning: a mercenary job in America offering thousands. The giant immediately took to calling the company, known as Mann Co., and asked for a position. Not only would he be able to make enough money to provide a comfortable life for Mama and his sister, he was delighted at the opportunity to wield guns against evil men with no consequence. Moving away from the Russian blizzards would also prove to be a positive change.

Within two months of his interview, the new Heavy Weapons Specialist was landing down in New Mexico. A few days were spent getting used to his new surroundings and signing paperwork, but eventually, the bus came by his hotel to take him to the Reliable Excavation Demolition base. 

While lounging in the tough leather seat, Heavy glanced at the surrounding seats and took notice of two other men sitting in the back. They both wore red and yellow bands on their arms, indicating they were some of Mikhail’s new teammates. Preferring not to spend a year with a group of people who disliked him, the Russian moved to the back of the bus to make a good first impression.

“Privet, I am Heavy Weapons Guy,” he began.

The two men looked up from their respective pieces of literature. The younger of the two lazily held and flipped a baseball magazine with one hand. The other man, taller and masked, was gripping a thick, plain-covered novel.

“Yo! I heard that our Heavy was supposed to be, well, you know, heavy, but damn you’re fa--OWW!” The Bostonian shouted, being met with a swift slap from the man sitting beside him.

“Please ignore Scout here. This rotten bunny doesn’t seem to have any manners.”

“Go to hell, you French bastard!” Scout shot back.

The insults continued and Heavy found himself silently slinking back into his seat. He had the strength to snap both of them like toothpicks if he so desired, but it was better not to end his career before it started.

Along the ride, the bus stopped several times to pick up the rest of the RED team. First came their pyromaniac and engineer, then the sniper and soldier. The demolition’s expert came by himself and the final stop was saved for a relatively young woman in a purple dress.

“Er, hello, everyone. I am Miss Pauling, your boss’s secretary. I’m scheduled to give you guys a tour around the base and to break down your jobs. Raise your hand if you have any questions and please, try to cooperate with one another,” the woman sighed.

Dell, the shortest man on the team with a yellow hardhat, raised his hand.

“Yes, Engineer?” Miss Pauling prompted.

“Isn’t there supposed to be one more fella here with us?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Miss Pauling glanced toward the ceiling briefly as if she were really pondering the answer before turning to Engineer.

“Medic’s flight got delayed due to a massive snowstorm in Berlin. He should be here tomorrow at the earliest.”

It was impossible to notice the difference just by looking at it, but Mikhail nearly jerked forward when he felt it. Was he really going insane in his desperation? Had the string really just loosened? It most certainly had, he had felt the pressure ease up ever so slightly, but something in the back of his mind that told him it was just his imagination. The giant shook his head and groaned, barely able to pay attention to anything else Miss Pauling said.

His mind became a battlefield of longing versus absurdity. The thread had suffocated him during his prime. There was no possible explanation as to why his soulmate would be appearing now of all times. By forty seven, Mikhail was overweight, balding, had several scars from his time in Siberia, and was rated ugly by every woman he had attempted to romance. He couldn’t think of a single reason as to why his love would find him attractive now, and it deepened the eternal hole in his heart.

But Heavy held onto the faintest thread of hope. Maybe, just maybe, his suffering was about to come to an end. He would meet with the woman or man fate had binded him to, and he could finally be happy.

That night, Mikhail stared at his bedroom ceiling wide awake. Once their team’s doctor arrived in New Mexico, he would know for certain what destiny had in store for him.

.

Ludwig’s attempt at getting some shut eye on the flight failed. He couldn’t fall asleep even if he wanted to, for his pinkie was regaining its color. Somehow, this job as a battlefield medic that he had selected out of the blue was leading his soul to its missing half.

“It’s only a matter of time,” he murmured to himself, eyes more hopeful than the day he earned his doctorate’s degree.

.

Heavy awoke to the sound of loud yelling and banging on his door.

“Attention! You will be dressed and be stationed in the recreational room for role call in five minutes! That is an order!” Soldier commanded.

The softer, more compassionate voice of Miss Pauling sighed and spoke through the door.

“I’m sorry Heavy. I couldn’t say anything to convince him not to come with me to wake you guys up. Just settle down in the rec room in a few minutes, okay?”

Mikhail groaned, both from a lack of sleep and the sudden wake-up call. He complied, however, adorning his red, short sleeved shirt, his bulletproof vest, the bandolier for his minigun, pants, a belt, and a pair of sturdy combat boots.

When the heavy weapon’s specialist arrived in the rec room, it was absolute chaos. Spy had moved on from insulting Scout to bickering with Sniper, Demoman was already sloshing around a bottle of alcohol, Scout had stolen Engineer’s hardhat and was taunting him with it, and Soldier was shouting at a terrified looking Pyro.

“RED Team! Enough! It’s only the first day and you’re already at each other’s throats!” Miss Pauling stomped, placing her hands on her hips.

Some the the mercenaries, including Heavy, faced towards their higher-up while the others continued to do their own thing.

“Now look, your first battle will begin as soon as Medic arrives. I’m heading over to the airport to pick him up, so I advise you all check over your equipment,” her words more of a command than a suggestion.

Heavy’s eyes widened. He felt it again. 

He decided in that moment that polishing Sascha could wait.

Before Miss Pauling could leave the room, the large man scurried over to her and placed a massive hand on her shoulder to grab her attention.

“Yes, Heavy? Do you need something?” She asked plainly.

Mikhail nodded, his cheeks slightly flushed.

“Da, I want to come to airport with you, if you do not mind. I promise not to cause any problems.”

Pauling raised an eyebrow.

“Pozhaluysta, Miss,” the Russian begged, rubbing his forever blue pinkie with his other hand.

Miss Pauling opened her mouth to speak, but her words died on her lips when she noticed the tiny gesture. Instead, she gave him a short nod of understanding and proceeded out of the building.

.

In the car, Heavy’s leg bounced. His breathing was deep, and his whole body seemed to sweat with fear and anticipation. With every inch the vehicle moved, he could feel the burden on his finger lighten up. This wasn’t just some illusion or dream, it was really happening. After forty seven years of waiting, he was about to meet the love of his life.

Miss Pauling took note of his anxiousness, but didn’t say anything during the trip, giving Mikhail plenty of time to ask himself a million questions. What would his lover look like? Would they be a man or a woman? Would they have a heart of gold, or a rotten core that sought to make the Russian miserable at every turn?

Finally, the airport was in sight. Mikhail could hardly withstand the separation between himself and his soulmate. He wanted, needed to find his other half. He needed to shower them with all of the affection he had been waiting so long to administer. He needed to hear their voice and inhale their scent and feel their body against his own.

Miss Pauling nearly tripped over her high heels trying to catch up with the eager Russian. She had seem some truly heartwarming instances of soulmates meeting over the years, but never before in her life had she seen someone so desperate to unite with their fated love.

.

He had to hold onto a railing as he stepped out of the plane to avoid passing out. 

Ludwig had always experienced air-sickness while flying, but more than that, his hand was trembling. The string that had plagued his right hand for decades was loose, looser than it had ever been before. The doctor was overwhelmed; he wanted to throw up and cry tears of happiness at the same time. This was his moment, his soulmate was waiting for him.

As he stood near the loading gate, the thread loosened further, and it signaled that his soon-to-be lover was getting closer, closer.

Unable to withhold his excitement, Medic dashed across the airport. He got caught up in several crowds and passed right by the luggage pickup, but none of that mattered. He was following his heart’s call now; he let the slackening of his bindings guide his every step.

.

“Heavy! Please slow down!” Miss Pauling yelled, but the giant had blocked her out a long time ago.

There was only one voice he was willing to let in now. He pushed past a group of adults with the tiniest apology as he charged up the stairs. If he were anywhere else, he would have most likely been stared at and thrown out by security. In the chaos of the airport, everyone assumed he was simply running to reunite with a loved one.

An opening in the crowds.

Everything went silent.

The world slowed down.

Mikhail spotted him, his soulmate across the grand building. He was more handsome than he could have ever imagined, and although he didn’t know it yet, Ludwig also firmly believed that he had just encountered an angel.

The soulstring unraveled and landed on the ground.

All remaining distance between them was covered in a second. The force of the impact sent them to the ground, but neither of them cared. Arms wrapped around strong bodies, tears spilled out of adoring eyes, and lips whispered the pledges of love they had so desperately longed to hear.

At last, Mikhail and Ludwig were home.

[wyomwyom]

27 years old letter

Find it on ao3 here

Dadspy sprinkled with some Sniperspy

Edited by: @radiostaticc

Sniper was of course not the biggest fan for loud parties, but the kid is now 30, which he guess would make Scout not really a kid anymore, but who cares? He was the kid among them and shall stay forever. The little ankle biter who loved loud noises way too much, while alcohol not at all.

While most of the others were having fun being as drunk as one can get, Scout was at the table of gifts with his can of Bonk. Maybe it was how he sometimes did the same things, or maybe he spent too much time with his boyfriend, Spy. But Sniper noticed nervous movements on the Scout. Adjusting his clothes, like they never fit right; drumming on the can with one finger; briefly hugging himself with one arm. The kid was nervous to the brim and Sniper seemingly being the only one to notice, he decided to do something about it.

He walked up to Scout and put a hand on his shoulder, before greeting him, starting simple and kind.

"Staying out of the party? Your age is catching up to you kid?" he joked with a chuckle, relieved to see the other smile from it, but it didn't last long "What's wrong Scout?" he asked, low so it won't cause attention and not hide his worry. The fast runner got more nervous from the question. Chewing on his lips, looking around in fear that anyone else noticed, before giving in with a sigh.

"Can we go to one of your nests? I need air and privacy." he admitted.

"Sure kid, and don't worry. From the look of it, nobody will notice." Sniper said as they walked towards the front door of the base.

"Dear Jeremy,

When they reached the nest, Sniper gave the other time to say the problem. He was known for his patience and not many questions. So he waited. He watched as Scout finished his can of Bonk, tapped his foot on the wooden surface of the nest while getting his thoughts together and he waited as the problem was taken out.

Scout took out an envelope folded in half, looked at it for a little, before holding out for Sniper.

"My mom gave me this when I left home. Said dad wrote it to me when he left and I can read it when I turn 30. Problem is... I-I can't read. Doc said it's a normal dyswhat-the-hell. But I'm sure my da' didn’t know it was a thing I have when he wrote it. And just-"

"Would you like if I read it to ya?" Sniper cut in gently, grabbing the letter, but not yet taking it. Not until Scout released it and nodded as a silent answer. The envelope was already opened, so Sniper just had to take out the letter, unfold it and read it:

You're now old enough to maturely hear what I'm about to say. And old enough to be the age I was when I left you, your brothers, and your mother. I wanted you to have this letter at this age, so you can know how young and stupid a man can be in the age of 30. I also hope that you won't make the same mistakes by reading this and learning from mine.

When I met your mother and she boldly came up to talk to me, I knew that if a nobody like me can fall in love and not be alone in the feeling, then I should never let it go. But then I had to.

She never judged me and I never judged her for anything. She loved me the same way when I had to disappear for long times and I loved her the same way when she introduced me to her 7 sons.

Now before I say the next thing, I want you to know that you are not and never were the reason why I left you and your family. You were the brightest light in my life and still are, no matter where life takes us both.

These almost three years I could spend with you mean so much to me and it hurts so much that I had to leave. But my love for your family and you blinded me about how dangerous a job I actually had that put the bread on the table for the ten of us. I knew the moment when I received a letter with only your name on it, that I had to leave. I don't expect you to understand, or accept my choice. But I wanted nothing more than you to be safe. I made the worst choices in life, but loving my family was not something I could control. Your mother is the strongest woman this world has seen, so I know I'm going to leave you in good hands. She will protect and care for you, like I never could.

You can trust her in anything. I know, because I'm trusting her to keep the things she knows about me secret and give this letter to you when she knows it's time to face the truth of whatever lie she came up with. The truth of which is that I left to protect you and I still will always be with you. In the crowds, in the background, maybe even right next to you.

I'm going to do my best to keep you as close, but still as far to make sure you're safe and happy. Because that's what you deserve. You can say I'm an asshole and a coward, which you are right about. I was a coward for choosing running instead of fighting, but I know at this moment of writing this in your room, that I'm making a mistake. So I want you to learn from it. Love is the most dangerous thing a man can face and if you ever find it, please fight for it. Fight for the person, or people you love and they will fight for you if they're the right people for you. I didn't fight enough for you and your family. Which is why I could never ask for your forgiveness. All I can ask for is for you to never give up and know that you deserve to be loved.

Happy birthday Jeremy

With all the love from your dad"

Sniper had his own small pain in his chest by the time he finished, but it was nothing compared to the sobs he heard and saw when he looked up. He put the letter to the side and moved closer to hold the kid in a tight embrace. He was never a fancy pants, he couldn’t give two shits about Scout ruining his clothes, so he pulled the sobbing man close to his chest and let him cry his heart out. He deserved it. Even if Scout read, he couldn't imagine being alone after such a letter like this.

"Th-ank y-ou..." the boy hiccuped, before burying his face into the red shirt, trying to take deep breaths after feeling a hand caressing his back. "Freak-king asshole dad..." he tried to talk again with a little chuckle, but couldn't say more. So he leant his head against Sniper comfortably, the crying slowly calming down and soft snores taking its place.

With one hand, the sharpshooter put the letter back into the envelope and put it into his pocket before lifting up the kid bridal-style and carefully carried him down. He was happy to discover that the base was now quiet. Inside some retreated into their rooms, while others were sleeping in the living room. He walked towards Scout's room, pretending he didn't hear the extra pair of shoes failing to walk silently after them. After putting the kid into his bed, he put the envelope on the bedside table.

"Happy Birthday Scout." he whispered a last time, before leaving the room, closing the door after himself. "Come 'ere Spook." he said to the air, opening his arms.

"Merde." Spy whispered annoyedly for being found out, but still uncloaked and leaned into his partner's arms. "Bushman, I-'' he started worriedly, but got cut off by a kiss on his head

"I know Spook, I know. I love you too. You won't get away from me that easily." he comforted with a chuckle

"Liar..." Spy said, knowing Sniper too well to believe that anxiety is not eating him up about the letter and what he said about Scout's mom in it. He heard a sigh, before his head was lifted, so his lips could receive a gentle kiss.

"What if you take me to bed and show me just how much you love me then?"

"Sounds good, mon chasseur."

[kangaroo-sniper-imagine]

Red + Blu = Purple

- these dorks i swear-

Medic

If Ludwig has fallen in love with someone on the Blu team, congrats you’re never going to die again. Ludwig shows his love for you by healing you even if it’s only a minor scrape

Sometimes the two of you sneak to a better hidden part of the field to either kiss or to catch a breather. Neither of you made your relationship a secret, so you two aren’t exactly afraid of getting walked in on fraternizing

The two of you do not see it as a star crossed lovers situation, more like two people who work for adjacent businesses dating. Even though you have to kill him sometimes, Ludwig is still extremely smitten with you

Spy

Jacque, as mentioned, is a bit of a bastard on the battlefield. Even to you, his darling s/o. You both know your jobs, and both know you can’t avoid certain altercations.

Jacque’s favorite pastime during a fight is to disguise himself as one of your teammates and goes to flirt with you. You clock him almost instantly and he LOVES that even in disguise you know its him, even if you kill him almost right after

The two of you shout out how many times you killed each other while you kill each other. Sometimes its how many kisses you’ve sneaked in kissing each other right before someone pins the other to the closest flat surface to make out

Heavy

while Mikhail takes his job seriously, he can’t seem to bring himself to kill you after the two of you become serious. It’s not that he doesn’t see you as a threat that doesn’t deserve to have bullets wasted on, it’s just that he never wants to be a cause of pain for you ever

Sometimes the two of you protect each other on the field, discreetly of course. Misha might say something to insinuate that you are in a completely different area than you really are; or you convince your team that your Heavy isn’t as big as a threat as they make him out to be

No PDA on the field. Strict rule. AFTER the battle however, y’all are so soft to each other, checking for injuries and purposely talking about anything other than work. Misha feels a little guilty for dating the enemy, only a little though

Scout

tries to show off to you but ends up hurting himself which leads you to having to discreetly healing him. Tries to brag about his kill count and you agree its impressive, and you politely not tell him your higher kill count.

Tells his team that he’s going to “take care of you” and when he get you cornered, he jut drops a lame pick up line and the two of you make out.

Your relationship is a poorly kept secret, but the two of you think you’re so great at hiding it. Spy has to beg his son to be more discreet cuz you to are so bad at lying

Demo

Honor is a big thing to Tavish, and he feels kind of bad for seeing a member of the enemy’s team romantically. His solution? No dating during a fight, but after you two can be as gross as you want

It’s an eggshell relationship, hidden from others and never addressed out loud. On the job the two of you act like you don’t even know each other and it hurts the both of you a little bit but you know its necessary.

Off the clock the two of you are so soft to each other, meeting in secret and practically waxing poetry to each other. Tavish can be quite the romantic when he wants to be. You two both lament about how you’re enemies and how you can’t do anything about the situation, but being with each other in secret is enough to sate the both of you (grab a tissue cuz y’all are sappy)

Sniper

THE DRAMA OF IT ALL!!!! Mick takes his profession so serious the fact he is dating the person he was hired to kill is almost laughable. He won’t even admit you’re seeing each other, it’s just an unspoken agreement that you two are exclusively screwing each other

On the field, it's all business, but this part isn’t about the field, this is about off the field, where your relationship TORMENTS him. Where he hates himself for agreeing to meet up with you at out of the way bars and motels, and how he doesn’t shoot you on sight when you shyly approach him at his camper after hours.

Absolutely no one knows about the two of you. Mick feels like it’s eating him up inside, betraying his team and simultaneously betraying your feelings. But he’s a slave to his own desires and he can’t quit you. (Deadass, you want drama? This is the one for you)

Pyro

Pyro doesn’t give a shit about what side you’re on. To them, everything is already a world of rainbows and glitter with brief moment of reality, the color of your shirt means nothing.

They forget they’re fighting, or supposed to be fighting, so during battles its pretty common that PDA occurs. Random hugs, the pressing of the gas mask to your cheek, them trying to hold your hand and then drag you over to show you something they think is cool.

You can’t kill each other. You just can’t. Pyro is too sweet to you all the time to do them dirty like that. And Pyro can’t bring themselves to hurt you, even when they're in pyroland

Soldier

HAAAAA he sees it as a competition. Who can get the more kills, the better kills, who can kill the other more times. On the field, Jane says you’re “bitter enemies” but when the match is over or its a cease fire, he’s such a cute dork for you.

He brags about you so much its ridiculous. Both teams know of your relationship but it’s too cute to hate on. He gifts you wild flowers through the chain link fence that separates your bases and flirts with you like you’re a stranger every time, saying you look like the most gorgeous person to ever break a man’s neck

He’s so kind and sweet to you, laying on the charm thick every time you meet. He’s so smitten with you

Engineer

Likewise, Dell is a professional; and he is very good at keeping his work and play separated. Before you two even got into a relationship, he made it clear that during a fight, you weren’t going to get special treatment. You told him the same thing. It lasts maybe two weeks

Let's be real you two rarely interact on the field so on the off chance you do meet up you kinda just… nod and leave the area. You both try not to flirt but Dell can’t help the “darling” that slips at the end of every threat makes it sound more like a dangerous flirt.

Its sweet and kind of bumbling, kind of adorable. Both teams try to keep you two separated because if you two interact, you both end up blushing stuttering messes that get nothing done for the rest of the match