#like some of yall are snobs on here and it shows

[inklore]

i love people who write for underrated characters and fandoms. i love people who barely get 100 notes and keep posting. keep writing. keep doing what they love and not letting lack of interaction completely hinder their enjoyment on here. you’re strong. you’re valid. you’re literally the backbone of the writing community on here!!!!

[bitchin-tubs]

Complain time again tee hee but I’m just like UGHHHH talking genuinely to these ppl is SO hardddddd

With girl A, I spent almost a whole class lecture (friendly) debating with this one girl on why people medically diagnosed as psychopaths and sociopaths are not inherently dangerous, are not narcissistic by default and how ‘masking’ is not a form a manipulation. Her source for all of these… You. The Netflix show…

With girl B, I feel like she’s sooooo,,,, dismissive ?? Idk like I tried to introduce her to my friends once and she genuinely did not gaf. Like I said hi B this is C then she says hi to me and me only. Like my girl C is right here. But at the same time she’s always bringing me into her friend groups which is fine but I dont connect easily so most times I’m kinda just there SPECIALLY if it’s an all men group when I have specially told her I tend to be uncomfortable with men for “no” reason

I was having a conversation with girl A and the topic of autism was brought up, I told her that I think I may be low on the spectrum but there are some things I tend to relate to with autism behaviors, and considering opened up to me about her anxiety and how she had previously talked very openly abt diagnosis I thought maybe she’d get it. I know,,, self diagnosis (u are free to feel any type of way abt it) but idk I thought she’d have any type of nuanced comment about it but I should’ve known from the psychopath talk… I had told her that I find meeting new people very hard, I have difficulty talking to said people and I tend to be very restrictive about who I make a meaningful connection to. She said that my personality is and I quote “mamona” (jerk/snob/asshole ish) and completely dismissed my masking, overstimulation, 10 year old special interest, taking shit to literal and not understanding social cues or instructions as “just being different” yeah so I thought… yknow I might not have autism valid but idk I felt so ignored at that moment

Also don’t think I just unpack shit on her unannounced, we talk and convos play out as they usually do and since the topic was out I was like sometimes I wonder if I have it because of so and so plus she was unwinded with me before so it wasn’t impossible for us to talk abt personal stuff, even though we not so tight we are still close

Another thing I’m very bad at making friends, I think I mirror good enough to have nice interactions with people but not to the point they invite me to shit or talk to me outside of classes. Back when I was in my exchange program I was sharing a room with 3 swifties so I had to pretend to like Taylor swift so I wouldn’t feel singled out, I also watched the summer I turned pretty and witnessed these girls thirst over bad boy #2 when I thought the character was so shitty (the actor is good looking but I’m not attracted to him) and also would also unknowingly spend all-nighters on school nights (as in I didn’t know they were meant to be all-nighters) with them watching a movie I didn’t particularly like and see everyone thirsting over annoying man on screen (one of them was some straight outta wattpad step-sibling story ew, the other pride and prejudice IM SORRY YALL I DIDNT GET THE HYPE 😭 call me uncultured it’s okay

A and B are sólo also hardcore swifties and I can only be neutral abt her otherwise they get on my ass about it and saying I like Taylor swift or her music is too big of a lie even for me

I told girl A about this (or at least a bit) and she said that I should’ve just been me. Girl I can’t be me we were both witnessing a girl being actively bullied (tv show ass bullying they printed a picture of her and drew over it ugly, taped it to her dorm room. Still hurtful and bullying tho) I’m NOT about to ostracize myself

HOWEVERRR these are not my main friends, these are like the friends I made to not be lonely in these extra classes for an American 🦅🦅🦅 diploma. My close CLOSE friends are from my same career classes and they are so much more understanding and can interact more naturally with. So in my day to day I got good genuine friends by my side

I recognize that I can be perceiving these memories differently than how they actually happened, misinterpret their actions and just be in my feeling right now but idk I feel like I’m so difficult and constantly just have to comply with people in order to make others comfortable

[bohemianwriter]

My first soulmate had to be Eli. We talked for hours about our fucked up situations. He wasn’t scared to come to my house. We were art kids and he drew on me. It was intimate and sweet. We didn’t use drugs, Eli wanted to be straight edge and that actually appealed to our punk rock lives and Sid Vicious dreams. He saw me and my poetry. Encouraged me to write. Took the razor out of my hands.

Naturally my parents hated him and I wasn’t allowed to see him anymore. I think they talked to his mom because one second we are talking all the time and the next he’s gone.

My first time being vulnerable with someone and they are taken away. After that it’s been nothing but unhealthy. I think after him I really shut down to the idea of love while I was living with my parents. I needed support to move out cue in Hunter who was never my person. And then Patrick and then Q and Jon - then Jim the alcoholic, Nathan and lastly Nick. A few in between but those weren’t real.

After Eli and I stopped talking I went down the rabbit hole of drinking and drugs for almost 20 years. I don’t understand why my parents wouldn’t let me just have a normal boyfriend. Eli and I never had sec we did fool around and wanted to but we wanted it to be and feel special. He was so gentle with me. Like he could see the damage and didn’t care. He wanted to help. We played stupid computer games for Christ sake the ones my dad played all the time but he didn’t play with us. Instead I lost my virginity not with someone making love to me and seeing me fully. No I lied told dude I was dating I wasn’t a virgin and made him watch porn while he fucked me so I wouldn’t get attached. And that porn took me forever to download too. Eli wasn’t like that.

Looking back they didn’t want me to have any romantic interests. I see my photos like wow. Yall made me ugly on purpose. I remember Kate in high school. We were both abused and understood that about each other. We were both lost. Eli never seemed lost. He works for Google now and lives in San Fran. Good looking out parents.

They said you can’t date the nice guy so I didn’t. I dated the bad boy. I was the good girl who they would change for right? I wanted someone like Eli and even Matt poor thing he was sweet too. We probably didn’t even need a plan B but because we didn’t know about sex we didn’t know that. His mother supported us and I always felt so warmly toward her as someone who could live with a million ferrets and let us smoke. Matt was another pivotal moment. Here was another nice guy, who made love to me sweetly and brought me dinners. Snuggled me after and we would watch movies and sleep. It was so nice. It was an escape from my world of neglect and abuse. I finally felt with these guys some connection I was longing for. So when they were brutally taken away, I thought as a child I’m not allowed to have people who are nice. And to keep secrets. My parents were out to destroy any normal life I had. I also learned that they didn’t care about my happiness. I’m sure they saw when I would come home all giddy and get on the phone to talk to them more for hours, how happy they made me. Eli supported my goals, Matt and his family showed me love. That’s why I was so obsessed. It had nothing to do with him I didn’t even know him.

And instead of letting me explore a situation that wasn’t my fucked up home life they isolated me repeatedly. I was only allowed to date sometimes and only it was socially advantageous. They let me date a very wealthy older boy no issues with curfew but with hunter I must be home even when we had come home for the summer and already lived with each other they still imposed a curfew. They didn’t want us to be together. They were snobs. He wasn’t good enough for me but by doing this they made it impossible for me to connect with anyone else. So they were controlling me. At all times and to break away from this I rebelled to my own demise.

[team-council-two]

So how is Spy a special case?

*is excited*

(for context, in a previous post, i added the tags " i could write an entire book on how unfamiliar french people in medias seem to actual french people, spy is an odd case; ask me about him")

aiight, you know what you signed up for, get ready for one hell of a presentation, ft terminal verbosis frenchosis ! this will be in three parts, of course, because three is a good number and the mere concept of having 3 parts should give you all a headache (look ray i didnt add a n this time)

wait shit im not even sure mistral is a spy, hold on,

aw fck thats for real ones

anyways femme fatale trope, next question

HA gotcha, you didnt think id let yall go with just one sentence huh ? so. our fella is french. our fella is a spy. our fella is a huge piece of shit. extremely common, alright ? outright overused archetype. eeeexcept that the combo's execution here REALLY stands out. how so ?

well, let me ask you a quick question. do you think the fact that he is french, and the fact that he is an evil bastard, and the fact that he is a spy are linked ?

well ill answer that for you. nope. valve treated these three traits remarkably separately. the way he speaks french in game is relatively polite, and the insults he throws around are, i checked, exclusively in english. he is surprisingly free of the usual way medias make "being evil" and "being french" be a hand in hand thing, and similarly free of the one that seems to indicate that Because you are french Of Course you are a spy. in other words, rather than being a walking glamour stereotype of sorts or an obnoxious asshole the likes of which we have seen hundreds of, this is a godawful guy that also happens to be a french snob, and that also happens to be a spy.

compare with, say, our lady mistral above who has a shitton of taunts in french, who embraces that whole sexy lady deal, deliberately plays on it and so on. difference is miles.

and now if you followed you did catch i said french snob rather than just french, there is a reason behind this, so allow me to get on part 2, which i promise will be WAY more verbose-

so

im not sure why but american medias love to have peppy rich french fashionistas in their shit. theyre cute, hyper, sheltered as fuck, and the entire deal is weird bc these people seem like aliens to actual french people who tend to care about fashion in pretty normal amounts and definitely do not have that many grands to bust into it. *yes* we pride ourselves in having a pretty neat fashion industry, but in a similar way as the american and the german boast about their cars. we are NOT obsessed with it okay. anyways, sometimes writers have the decency of making these characters cunts, but not always. but what doesnt vary is the trope seems to play out like ah yes, your average french- which is fucking baffling. and is the part taking us aback.

see, we HAVE the evil breed of those characters too in our shit. comedic shit, to be precise. a rundown of our humor is it often is situational humor - stupid outlandish situations with equally stupid archetypal characters, their personality equally pushed into the absurd, all of that more often than not thinly veiling some pretty heavy social commentary. in other words, you often laugh at the evil cop/rich factory/big restaurant owner/politician/etc getting karma'd in mind boggingly bizzare and hilarious ways, while clearly showing them as evil for mistreating subordinates (and often getting shit for it sooner or later) and as simpering cowards towards literally anyone who has any kind of superior position to them whatsoever.

in other words, context matters. where in american shit they are often allies or friends or comedic relief of sorts through being french/annoying or just villains, in french shit they more often than not are *targets* of some kind of events and shown to be ridiculous through other means than their obsession for fashion or whatever.

am i saying that valve did this ?

...yeah. thats a very bold statement, but yes. i mean, cmon,

see, i am overall basing this on the fact that ingame spy is so fucking similar to many, many, many of Louis de Funès' roles, and even his face, it outright had me searching around the wiki for some kind, any kind of claim of inspiration from valve-

he reads exactly as one of them ! rich cunt obsessed with money, constantly mocking people, constantly complaining about everything ever, fakely polite, not opposed to doing vile acts to have his way, extremely menacing face, *the same fucking laugh*, and the fact that characters played by this guy have remarkably often have what we call a couillon de fils, a dumbfuck of a loser ass son, if you will.

the only differences really are from comic spy, who reads far less like this. he's still well executed mind you, but he (especially @miss pauling) reads as far kinder than this dude's characters usually are, and he is a bit more... stretched, both physically and in behaviour, than the actor's goblin build and attitude, as game spy seems to be unable to stand straight whereas the comic one seems to have no difficulty with this, and the similar range of expressiveness that also ports 1:1 is game exclusive as well. and finally, comic spy also was not given the occasion to cuss people out, so.

anyways my point mostly amounts to, if you manage to make french people think of an emblematic actor beloved by many, rather than just make us go through the usual whiplash of "how is that a normal french person to american people ???", you are probably doing something right.

in addition to this wall of text, i am begging you all to watch this, it should help understand what i meant by our breed of humor, and what i mean by "spy could have been played by this dude no problem"

now, onto part 3,

well once you said he is a pathetic wet cat man you summed it up really.

for all the class he has, for all the money he has, for all the. everything ? he still is pathetic. he still is simply seen as a mean as fuck loser either trying to drown his failures as a father with expensive tastes, or simply amoral and unsympathetic because of his concerns being about money rather than about humans. he still is headcanoned as stinking by most of the fandom. nobody respects the fucken spy. he comes across as haughty and it only makes people want to shit on him some more.

really, it is pretty much everything I explained in the two points above. the patheticness helps with making it so he is not a stereotype, and it helps making it clear he is supposed to be representative of rich pretentious cunts rather than of french people.

so, he is a huge bitch, and ironically, this makes him a blorbo to us, bc who doesnt love a good ole flawed character ?

his whole french deal is not shown as eccentric or what makes him a loser but just a coincidence, in a sense. and you'd be surprised by how much of a breath of fresh air this is to french people. shitty in a realistic way rather than a made up clown, and in a way we can recognize in our own medias. it also is neat from the, err, fandom pov ? because you get to develop his frenchness and assholeness and spyness separately, since they are elements implemented for the sake of themselves rather than as a stereotypical whole. you get to have *fun* with him.

SO i think i ran out of things to blabber about. hope it makes sense tho. but i guess it really is about. not *quite* representation because we do not see ourselves in spy, of course, but way more about our culture not being bastardized and being turned into a joke about eccentrics at best, or hatred about seductive women and effeminate/homosexual men at worst, + having a fresh execution on tropes that else usually would get our eyes rolling.

alpha, over and out

[bireggiemantle]

sharing some of my veronica headcanons here bc I love her and why not

- veronica isn't the best at reading other people's emotions/social cues

- she's never been very good at comforting people so she tries to mirror how others, especially archie, used to comfort her in an attempt at helping

- she tends to buy things for people to show affection

- veronica's a closet film snob and has some really strong opinions on movies

- she and jughead bond over this and it helps bridge a gap between them

- veronica is also pretty big on routines. she has a strict morning routine she follows, she plans outings to a t, and she always orders the same thing when she goes out to eat

- she always tries something that is recommended to her though, whether its food, a movie, or a new store, even if she doesn't think she'll like it

- veronica has a really good memory. she never forgets the little things about her friends, like the way they take their coffee or what their favorite color is

- betty and archie helped teach her to drive when she didn't want to deal with hiram. she isn't the best driver, and she usually prefers having archie or betty drive when they're going somewhere together, but she did pass her test first try

that's all I have for her rn. ik I dont usually do hc posts but I felt like trying something different so I hope yall like these :)

[floralkittygambler]

RadioDust is the Healthiest Toxic Ship for Angel so far

@honesthazbinarchives​ Briefly. I’d like to go into this more in the future BUT these are the main points I said I’d do. Heh ‘stay tuned’ for why HuskerDust is toxic [haaaa funny fuckin reference n shit like Viv herself aint overdone it]. Yer dont even wanna know the lack of enthusiasm in tryna do a playful ‘cringetopia’ joke - wasnt as fun as anticipated. Anyfuckinways, the shit. Before we begin, disclaimers n whatnot, no hate intended, dni if you’re a bit of a knobhead [either stan or extreme anti], an all that nonsense. I dont own the characters no shit.  In this I’ll discuss how RadioDust aka SpiDEER (thats right, yer stuck w my shit humour now) is both the healthiest ship for Angel we’ve seen so far but still rather toxic. Idc if you hate me for it but dont fuckin waste yer time telling me. Great. I dont care. Yer fuckin hard n whatnot for harassin strangers online. Big dick energy to you. This will be slightly messy, my apologies, it’s a quick summary of many points.

Alright. Firstly, out of the entire male cast Angel interacts with over all platforms, Al is given a fair bit of mercy in terms of sexual advances. In fact, a swift ‘no’ and Angel doesn’t do it again - unlike most of the other cast [pent’s is covert, husks is overt]. One thing I like is that Angel himself admits to their chemistry (claiming that whilst he thinks Al’s a prick, he thinks Al dislikes him which saddens him as he’d at least like to be friends as he feels they have good chemistry - according to the VA via Hunicast’s 1yr anniversary), there’s no further efforts to jump on his dick but a clear curiosity/interest in what Al can do.  Lets go to the basics, both are of similar age [allegedly in their 30s, though Ive heard Al may be up to mid 40s] as well as created near the same-ISH time (as in, Viv’s oldest characters, at least for HH). Likewise, Viv admitted to knowing fuck all on either of their eras (and to make that public wasn’t really a wise choice BUUUT if you felt the need, it’s better worded with interest “Right now I’m working towards educating myself more on their time periods to improve their portrayals” <-- crucial if yer want that ‘realism’). Because of their real-world ages, Viv confesses they’re her favourites (even if you didnt know, she makes it pretty clear). It could be a nice ‘homage’ to their impact in her life but not too relevant otherwise. It could fulfil the need for self indulgence that she’s unhealthily leaking into the canon - which will ultimately make the series shit. No sugarcoating there.  As for their ages, a relationship can work whether the gap is large or small HOWEVER there are many ethics and conflicts to each. And being an adult into kids is always fucked up. With that being said, studies have shown that closer ages often work better due to the often similarities in mindset, maturity and life goals (older folks are more likely to want to settle, younger often have more ambitions), likewise there tends to be an unbalanced power-dynamic if the ages are too far, which can lead to various types of abuse. Dont get me wrong, being with someone much older (AS LONG AS NONE OF YALL ARE KIDS) very much CAN work - but rarely. There’s much more hardwork needed as well as being in the right mindset for both, otherwise it’s bad. More on that in HD. Long story short, both are closer in age meaning both are more ‘relatable’ to one another. There’s common grounds, even in the eras there’s some higher understanding of one another. Notice how Vaggie and Charlie are similar in age? (Even though Charlie is far older, her appearance and mentality for her race is on par with Vaggie’s, making it far more likely to work out positively) One of the most prominent out of all of this however is their actual interests. So listing; Both like action/chaos/having fun (often at the expense of others), both love cooking and can be food snobs in their own right, both have sadistic AND masochistic tendencies, Al likes performance and theatre whilst Angel loves *to* perform, on that last point Angel was very intrigued and enjoyed Al’s song number/performance naturally, both really enjoy pranks and both enjoy liquor (neither show an actual addiction, but rather an interest in social drinking - no dependencies on it). Again, close eras mean both have a higher probability of understanding the other and their lifestyles better. Both are high on appearance and love themselves, implying self confident mindset (healthy BUT the narcissism isnt) yet enough consideration for how they are viewed. On the parent system, one adores his mama whilst the other hates his pops.  Now Ive gone on about how they’re similar. But similarities ALONE is not enough. If it was, then fandom’s would be a lil more harmonious~ A HEALTHY relationship needs compatibility, POSITIVE conversation flow, common grounds, trust, openness and understanding. Even then, some people click and some just dont. It’s like how you can just hate someone for no reason. It just IS. Common grounds and similarity is scientifically proven to be attractive to someone - be it good or BAD. People are drawn to those like their parents in some way usually, likewise we look for people similar to ourselves (from our interests, to humour, beliefs, goals, etc). Science itself states that ‘opposites attract’ solemnly applies in the real world successfully. Though similiarity plays a large role, there has to be some differences too - that person is STILL an individual separate to yourself. Too similar and it’s boring. Too similar and you’ll do everything together without some ‘you’ time. Both Vaggie and Charlie have similar interests/hobbies in dance and music, yet still have enough differences to be identifiable when together. Vaggie is more grounded than Charlie. Charlie gives some optimism and fun to Vaggie. Remember, a partner does NOT complete you - that’s a toxic mindset when taken too seriously, You complete YOURSELF. Whether you have someone or not, you must feel complete in yourself as to not slip into toxic dependency on a lover - to become them, a shadow of them or feel like you’ve lost your identity without them. Sounds harsh but it’s true. Chaggie compliments each other without a dependency. You stand alone yet uplift one another. You don’t always agree but in the end you always have each other’s backs. Love is often butchered in a toxic light in the media.  So taking that into consideration, how does spideer work? Well, here’s some examples of good, bad and neutral: - Angel loves animals, Al fears/dislikes dogs. Perhaps Angel could assist him in overcoming this? - Al hates being touched, Angel dislikes being squeezed. Maybe this could help them reach an understanding... Or cause a rift? - Angel was the only one to break Al’s composure, either Angel is the *key* to delving further into Al’s more raw self... Or just another obVOXious pest? (yeah, I said it-) - Neither respect other’s boundaries, meaning both may fuel the other to be overly disrespectful in this area. Not good. - Angel is a sarky/sarcastic fuck, Al loves dry humour. Both seek amusement and chaos. In relationships one needs to see how conversation flows and in the hunicasts, both keep up some good as well as toxic banter. Both could roast the fuck out of an opponent however. - Al is acro/ace, Angel is hypersexual (appears like a sex addict - now I say this as his book has a crossed out ‘fun stuff’ with ‘work shit’ written on it. He’s always fixed on sex from his job to his humour), this could either aid Angel ease up on the sex stuff OR make him overly push it onto Al causing major rifts and discomfort (aces can have sex, ref to ace posts that real asexuals put to understand more but no one wants to be forced into sex is the point here). And we’ve already discussed their lack of respect for boundaries. The positive is that maybe this will make Angel understand how Val is rubbing off on his own behaviour towards men [again, more on that in the HD post]. - Both similar yet different in a way that does suit their compatibility chances but that doesnt mean they will click, it just improves the odds. - Both have similar enemies in Val and Vox, they’re on common terms. Likewise, Al is against the ‘sexual deviance’ of hell meaning he may be oddly supportive and protective of Angel in terms of Val. I dont even think his sadism will override this either. - Al dislikes modern tech, Angel seems to use it as his job requires it. A nice little menial difference. - Only ONE is an addict. Take it from an expert, you NEVER put two addicts together. They’re very vulnerable and prone to slipping deeper into their addictions as well as depending on each other too much that they essentially become very clingy, suffocating and toxic to each other. Seen it in action, it’s ugly.  - Both could have a lot of fun and calm moments with each other. - He isn’t immediately smitten with Al but immediately shows a natural interest in Al’s powers and performance, embracing it openly. Leads for a good friendship turned lovers plot. - In Viv’s patreon, she confirmed Angel loves confident guys [sounds exactly like Al] We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea.  Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict.  Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both.  Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate. I live with an ‘Angel Dust’ like person. It used to feel like life gave her everything and most times it did. Everyone loved her and she could get away with murder if she wanted to. But now she’s had to struggle and grow, let go of some ‘wants’ because they werent good for her and she’s becoming better for it. She has a long way but she’s more humble for it now [still got self confidence but it’s less narcissism now, which is more healthy for her]. Also, they make the word anal lol

[kylorenfanfic]

Long Away - chapter 12

Kylo Ren x Female Reader

masterlist

Words: 3.1k

> Taglist is open :D if you want to know when the next chapters come out, ask me to be add in the taglist.

A/N:  Hey guys! Warning on this chapter, a slight smut :) Sorry for taking a while to post, I didn’t get much feedback on the previous one, so I thought no one would mind when I post it :( I hope you guys enjoy it! Please, leave a comment, a like a reblog, so I can know that someone is reading!!! Please, those feedbacks make me want to keep writing! You are lovely <3 And if you want to know when they next chapter is out, just ask me to be in the taglist. Stay safe yall. Sorry about any grammar mistakes or typos. --

You and Kylo returned together to the First Order Cruiser. The troopers that were supposed to keep eyes on you weren’t punished because Kylo knew that they wouldn’t be able to do it – that was why he went by himself to see what you were up to. Lucky for you, you were already in the Temple so he never knew about your encounter in the bar with Poe.

           In the way back to the cruiser you and Kylo didn’t talk, but once or twice you noticed yourself looking at him – after the conversation in the Temple, you knew things had change, you just didn’t know how and how much.

           The minor ship entered the cruiser and troopers came outside to receive the Supreme Leader – you being right next to him. Both of you walked out together and entered the ship together, not a word mentioned. You weren’t behind him but by his side, and both of you looked neuter, not like something bad had happened – that surely caused an impression on the employees that saw the scene, because you looked as powerful and relevant as the Supreme Leader himself.

           You and Kylo took separate ways at some point and no words were said. You went on your way to your chambers.

           “I see that you and the Supreme Leader have become quite close” you heard a male voice from behind you. You turned around to see who were talking to you and you saw General Hux standing on the hall, looking at you.

           “I beg you a pardon?” you asked him trying to figure out what he was talking about.

           “Now I understand why he asked you to stay around” he said getting closer to you. “I thought it weird myself because why would the Supreme Leader ask for a filthy bounty hunter to stay around? We don’t need them often neither do we need them around.”

           “What are you trying to say, General?” you asked now a bit angrier in your tone, because you were coming to notice what he was implying.

           “You are far from not being attractive, Ms. Lacer.” He smiled in sarcasm “If I were the Supreme Leader and someone like you offered me help I would take it without a second thought. Lucky you I proved yourself loyal, huh? Now you have become too loyal.”

           You just stared at him with a blank expression. “Are you implying that I am romantically involved with Kylo Ren?”

           “Let’s be honest here, (Y/N). Why else would you be that close to him now? Of course your work in his private chambers must be ve…” he didn’t finish talking – you didn’t let him to.

           “I think you should apologize, General.” You cut his words, approaching him, he had his eyebrows up, analyzing you, with sarcasm. You raised your hand, discreetly and used the Force to make Hux kneel.

           “Oh, look, kneeling a good way to start!” you said jokily with a smirk on your face. Hux tried to stand up but he couldn’t because of the Force, he had anger in his face.

           “You bit-” he started and you summoned him to near you, dragging him by his knees, you approached your face to his.

           “You better show me some respect, Hux.” You said looking deep into his eyes. “Are you going to apologize now?” you moved away your face from next to his. He moved his mouth to say something and you started to choke him.

           “I’m sorry, are you trying to say something? I can’t hear you” he was trying to speak but couldn’t. You let him go and smirked.

           “I’m sorry” he let go with his first breath.

           “Good boy” you said turning around to keep your way. Behind you there was Kylo Ren, you weren’t sure how long he had been there. You just passed next to him and no words were said.

           You entered your room and took a deep breath – that had been long day. After a shower, you laid down on your bed, with the head full of thoughts. You started to recall the day, first going to Coruscant, escaping from the troopers, finding Poe, having your first kiss with him, almost being robbed, Poe figuring out about your secrets, the Jedi Temple, Kylo Ren, the whole conversation, and now Hux.

           You were trying to avoid the Temple conversation in your thoughts, it was too much for you to take – you took Kylo’s hands joining him in his journey for power, knowledge and a better future for the galaxy, or whatever he wants to do with it, because you actually wanted it, but what about the Resistance? You had made friends in there and you couldn’t just easily explain to them the whole thing. Actually, people would never accept the future being dictated by one person only, especially one that they judged to be “a spoiled brat”. You had to thing about it. Also, you still had conflict in your heart, it wasn’t easy to hate someone for so long and blame him for all your problems and suddenly just let it go – Kylo Ren was still the one who killed all those people, and Hylia. Still, you were also letting go of the past.

           Your thoughts came back to Poe – the kiss. You didn’t really had the time to think about it, not much at least, with all that had happened. The Hux accusation connected with this thought, you almost laughed at it but then you remembered that the thought of how it would be to kiss him did cross your mind; afterwards, he was an attractive man. You wondered if he had ever kissed someone, he once was padawan as well, did he get the chance to have any experiences after that?

           Those weren’t important thoughts, you shook your head and laid on your side. Slowly you fell the sleep coming, and in this night, your brain decided to bring out past memories in your dreams.

           Your hair was soaking wet and you were widely smiling. You and a friend, Sony, were coming back from the lake, you two decided to enjoy a bit of the free time to have some fun. Sony wasn’t much older than you, you both shared a room, that was the main reason why you and her were usually seen together.

           The two of you were laughing over something silly that had happened in the lake, it had been a good day – you were on your way to your dormitory so you could clean yourselves and get some food with other friends.

           Your hair was shorter than now, and it was darker because of it being wet.

           “I can’t believe you didn’t feel that coming,” Sony said while laughing of you.

           “Oh, I’m sorry if you are a cheater!” you teased her

           “Take it back!” she answered with a fake-offended face, still smiling. You had a small ball in your pocket and got it in your hands.

           “See that coming!” you threw the ball in her direction, playfully, she dodged the ball and it was going to hit someone behind her.

           “Watch out!” you yelled, but it wasn’t necessary: he had stopped the ball by using the Force and got it in the air with his hand. You and Sony saw that was Ben Solo and you felt like burring yourself into the ground so no one could look at you, because honestly you felt as a pathetic child, soaking wet and throwing balls in someone else. Ben was around the same age as you two, in the teen years, but he looked older and more mature, so everybody else was afraid of him.

           “Sorry” you said shyly while slowly walking in his direction to get the ball back. He stood his hand in your direction and you got the ball from his hand. He gave you a small smirk as a way to say ‘it’s ok’, you didn’t smile back because of the way you felt embarrassed. He left.

           “My stars.” Sony said now walking by your side, you two back on your way to your dormitory.

           “What?” you asked, with your thoughts into something else.

           “Didn’t you see that? He’s so weird.”

           “Who? Ben Solo?”

           “Yeah. He’s so snob, I bet he thinks he’s better than everyone else just because he’s a Skywalker.” You just shrugged in return, you weren’t really interested in thinking about it, he wasn’t of your concern. You went ahead and opened the door for your dormitory and the moment you stepped inside, you were somewhere else.

           It was the Ancient Jedi Temple in Dantooine. You spent so many time in there that you felt weird of not remembering about it in a while. You weren’t much older now in this memory, it was a little after you first arrived there.

           There was a bonfire in the middle of the hall, hopefully the old Masters wouldn’t be mad at you for trying to warm yourself up and also get some hot meal. The cold walls of the Temple weren’t really a welcoming place, but it was the best place you had found to hide yourself: no one would remember Dantooine, a distant planet in the Outer Rim. And you felt way more protected inside a Jedi Temple – at least that was the reason why you went to live in there, after a few years you just got used to the place and didn’t care anymore about the Jedi Order. It was especially nice at first because you had found some old holocroms that gave you random information about the Old Jedi Order, the one destroyed shortly before the rise of the Empire.

           You weren’t used yet with the loneliness, and many times in the last days the thought of killing yourself crossed your mind – but you wouldn’t do it, Hylia had sacrificed herself for you life, you couldn’t just throw it away. At first you wanted revenge, you felt anger and just wanted to find Ben Solo and kill him with your own hands. You remembered that anger wasn’t a good feeling for a jedi, you tried to let it go but it was hard. Eventually you did let it go, as you did let go all your hope and good thoughts about the Jedi Order. But at that moment, in the memory, you were full of anger towards the now called Kylo Ren.

           You were sitting on the floor, near the bonfire. You had shut yourself down to the Force but you still could feel it trying to mess with you, because you couldn’t control it well enough. A lonely tear fell on your check, you didn’t mind crying then.

           “You’re weak” you heard this voice talking to you. You suddenly stood up, got your lightsaber and turned it on. The blue light fulfilled the environment – thinking about it now, if you had to find your crystal now, the blue one probably wouldn’t be the one to find you, you had such a different personality now.

           “Who’s there?” you asked and you voice echoed in the Temple. Then you saw him, right in from of you there was Kylo Ren. You were mortified, how did he find you? You felt that your life was about to end and everything had happened for nothing.

           What really happened was that you got so scared but at the same time you ran into his direction with your saber and tried to kill him, but it was nothing but a image of your imagination. But now, in your dream that was mixed with your memories, it wasn’t what really happened.

           “It’s not really a bad place” he commented. You weren’t scared anymore, you felt calm – just like you felt in the Coruscant Temple when you saw him.

           “Try living in here for a few years” you replied and you noticed the jokily tone in your own voice. He laughed and you just felt enchanted by the sound of his laugh. You softly smiled.

           “Why are you smiling?” he asked getting closer to you.

           “Nothing… it’s just- I like your laugh. You should laugh more.”

           “What are you talking about? I’m always laughing.” He smiled, now very close to you.

           “No… you’re always serious and barely talks.”

           “Whoever it’s this version of me that you’re talking about, it’s not really me. I am always smiling, especially when I see you.” You weren’t expecting those words from him, and by his next question you probably made a funny weird face.

           “What?” he laughed.

           “Why are you saying that to me?”

           “(Y/N)… You can be so silly sometimes.” And saying that his lips approached yours softly.

           You opened your lips, unexpectedly accepting his kiss, and once his tongue met yours, he deepened the kiss. One of his hands went to your neck and other to your hip, while your hands found themselves making a mess in his hair – he didn’t seem to bother. You pulled a bit of his hair and you heard a small groan leaving his lips during the kiss, that only made you grave more for him.

           His hand that was on your hip now was grabbing one of your breasts and you didn’t mind at all, because in this whole situation it felt totally natural. It fits.

           You don’t know how but at some point the two of you walked to closer to the wall, and you felt the cold wall behind you while Kylo was pressing your body against the wall with his own body. The kisses were getting deeper, faster – hunger. You felt something hardening down in his pants, you also felt yourself needy. You never knew how it was like to be touched by someone, you never really thought about it much – it wasn’t something that should occupy a jedi’s mind. You weren’t a jedi any longer now.

           Kylo’s hand travelled cross your whole body while he was giving you wet kisses on your neck, a small noise came outside of your mouth, probably some short of groan and you could hear Kylo giggle, you just giggled as well, too busy concentrating on the feeling of his hands now touching your naked skin under your clothes. You wanted to feel the volume down in his pants, so one of your hands traveled to feel it while the other was still caressing his hair.

           “You have no idea… how crazy you… make me feel” Kylo said between kisses on your neck. You felt butterflies in your stomach, something that you had never felt before. His hand slipped to inside your panties, you spread your legs a little open so he could reach the core, your body still pressed against the wall. His cold hand touching your warm core made you shiver, the sensation was great and got amazing when he first touched your clit – he started circle movements and you never felt such a thing. You let out a moan while kissing him and you just wanted more. The movements got faster, they were precise to make you feel pleasure, his finger slip inside, and the sensation was…

           You never got the chance to know the rest of the dream, or how it was the feeling because you woke up. You opened your eyes and took a deep breath, the alarm was ringing, you felt humid between your legs – it was an odd feeling. You felt sleepy and weird, why did you have such a dream? Especially with Kylo Ren.

           You had never think about sexual things, not like this, you never had the need to, afterwards you were learning to be a jedi – but things were different now, for the first time ever you were free. How that kind of thing works anyway?

           You dressed up for your day and left the room, you were going to get breakfast in the cafeteria when you heard a droid voice behind you.

           “Mistress! Mistress!” it called. You turned around to see if you were the one they were talking to. “Are you not having breakfast?”

           “I am on my way to have it” you explained confused. Another droid behind the one talking to you was caring a silver tray with food on it.

           “It was send to you, mistress. Also, it is required for you to move to bigger chambers.” You were confused with the situation – apparently, now you were being treat as a member of the First Order, not like an ordinary employee. It was good on a side, because you would have better food and a better place to sleep – not that your current place was bad, but a bigger one wouldn’t be bad. You nodded yes to the droid and entered your room, it place the tray on the table and left the room leaving you alone to eat, you would miss the troopers company, you thought to yourself.

           What now? Would you be Ren’s pet now on? You couldn’t avoid this feeling. You agreed with his thoughts and ideas, but you still were on your own path, you still wanted to be independent. While eating and thinking you got your datapad and sent a note to Kylo Ren: “Don’t treat me like a pet, just because we’re friends now I don’t need special treatment.” You wondered if you weren’t being ungrateful.

           “Feel free to eat the terrible food and sleep in a small room if you want to.” A note in your datapad arrived, sent by Kylo himself. You dropped the datapad on your bed, a bit frustrated, he wasn’t wrong.

           You laid down on your bed, frustrated and a bit angry with yourself. You still wanted to help the resistance, they were your friends afterwards, but they wouldn’t understand that you wanted to help the galaxy. They wouldn’t tolerate repression but maybe it would be necessary. You shook your head… that was still wrong, all lives matter, and people have the right to agree and disagree. Maybe you could convince Kylo to give up on the political power – he said he didn’t care much about it anyway – and at the same time, help the Resistance to destroy the First Order. Maybe Kylo could indeed be your friend, and when all of this is done both of you could try to bring the balance back in the Force, avoid another totalitarian uprising and search the knowledge of both sides of the Force.

           It was a plan. You just hoped it would work. The notepad got a notification and a hologram of General Hux showed up.

           “Your presence is required in the Major Room. Immediately.” Well, certainly it couldn’t be a good thing. -- 

taglist:  @ohhh-boo-tiful @fandomshit6000 @strangedarkling @dark-night-sky-99 @moonlightsolo @shockwavee @sallyp-53 @silverlambcaptain @lonesome-loser @little-girl-who-dream-too-much @delicatesleeper @ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark @cynthianokamaria @alex-baebae @antoniamarie1989-blog @nickangel13 @xsar-bearx @gyllnhall @greeniemoon @robindoesntloveme @kylocanyounot @oh-mymendes @ux-l3ee @we-all-are-strange @blondekel77 @fanboyswhereare-you @sahrafinee @sophiasrant @ellesvoid​​ 

[casworan]

❝ pride was fed to him from a silver spoon and now that he’s grown up, he’s grabbed the spoon and fed his ego some more. ❞ THOMAS HAYES? No, that’s actually CASWORAN ROWLE. Only EIGHTEEN years old, this SLYTHERIN alumni works as a PHILANTHROPIST and is sided with THE DEATH EATERS. HE identifies as A CIS MAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be SNOBBISH, ENTITLED, and CRUEL but also DISCIPLINED, METICULOUS and CHARISMATIC. 

LINKS: stats, pinboard, playlist. CHARACTER PARALLELS: schmidt (new girl), henry winter (the secret history), alistair ryle (the riot club), chad radwell (scream queens), chad charming (descendants) --- (how are two of these named chad wtf) HELLO uh just a heads up that i donut condone any of the behaviour this shithole throws into the world. yikes! also there’s some triggers in here for abuse and terminal illness, but they will be marked <3 

history

let’s get one thing straight --- emrick rowle and hemera rosier did not love each other when they married each other and they knew about it. they both agreed that their marriage was a good choice, a smart move, that it would benefit both and --- well, they both had ambition streaming through their veins, so the choice was made easily. they married, for political reasons, for money, but absolutely not for love. 

casworan was born a year into their marriage and was the perfect son. he wasn’t given a welsh name like so many rowles before him had, but a cornish one, celebrating hemera’s mother’s cornish ancestry. 

casworan means one who is powerful in battle, which emrick liked. he wanted a soldier, a pawn, a piece in his great chess match that was the world.

cas is a cousin to genie, wes and lo, and also to seren on his mother’s side.

and casworan’s parents might not love each other, they did love him. his mother’s love was doting and smothering, but genuine and unconditional.  his father’s was conditional, and based on expectations and constantly changing from hot to cold. emrick raised casworan to the perfect heir, the perfect son, the perfect pawn.

emrick rowle is a strategist, but also a coward. he uses his money and influence to pull strings behind the scenes, but is never the one to publicly call the shots. casworan is his son, but he’s also ... another piece in the game. he’s the person who’ll pick up where he left off, and emrick won’t leave everything to someone he does not trust and respect.

hemera is evan rosier’s daughter, by the way, and by no means a sweetheart, but a better parent. compared to emrick, the standard is quite low but still --- she is a better parent, and casworan is a complete momma’s boy. 

so casworan grows up --- spoiled dirty and loved by both parents. he learns languages (french and kernowek from his mother, latin and english grammar and such from a tutor), learns to play the violin, learns about his family’s history and legacy and how it intertwines with the rest of the history of the wizarding world, learns about blood purity and how one day he and his parents will rise above all the unworthy members of their society. he takes it all up and questions nothing, both because he has no reason to, and because his parents are convincing.

abuse tw (verbal and physical) // that’s not to say life was perfect. there was always a certain coldness at home. the lack of love between cas’ parents was clear to him from a young age, and it’s quite a strange thing, when your parents don’t seem to love each other but dont have any issue with it. there was no room for failure at home, no room for toeing the line. his father’s words could go from praising and prideful to harsh and cruel in seconds, his hands hard and unforgiving. casworan learned to keep his back straight and work harder and to swallow whatever anger he felt. he listened to every word that came from his father’s lips and took them in as truth and never questioned the way things were. end of tw

casworan went to hogwarts at age eleven ( he’d seen the castle before, of course --- he’d visited hogsmeade plenty of times before with his mother ) and was sorted into slytherin there. it was an easy sorting --- there were not many non-slytherin qualities the hat saw, besides maybe a sense of loyalty and a hunger for learning but cas’ cunning, shrewdness and ambition outweighed everything. 

hogwarts came easy to casworan. he was a good learner and knew plenty of people from his life before school -- people who ran in the same circles. to branch out wasn’t something he felt he needed to do, with a few exception here or there ( for either particularly skilled people or other purebloods he didn’t know yet ). casworan likes learning, values his education and was, well, a nerd. a hardworking student. was in a few clubs too, i’m sure --- i will get back on that when i have it figured out for plotting purposes! 

terminal illness tw // in casworan’s third year, his mother fell ill. it was a genetic disease, an incurable one, one that soon left her weakened and bedbound and tired. his father’s response wasn’t to stick to her side --- they didn’t love each other after all, and in all honesty, hemera didn’t want him on her side either --- but to flee in stead. his involvement in shady dealings grew and he retreated to the city more and more for work. casworan ... well, didn’t respond very well. 

abuse tw // he raged. he cried and raged and kicked against his father’s shins and demanded that he solved this because, well, the world had always given casworan exactly what he wanted, and when he got something he absolutely did not want, the one person he could blame was his father. he acted like a child because he was one, and his mother was going to die, and his father broke the news in such a cold way that he couldn’t help but rage. his tantrum was met with cold eyes and the same cruelty cas had felt before.

this was when a seed of hate for his father started to grow, something he’d never even dared to feel before. it’s still growing to this day. end of abuse tw //

a family friend moved in to help his mother, and they got a second house elf and life changed, thigns shifted. casworan learned what it was to feel out of control and well, he didn’t like it one bit. he’s entitled and spoiled and used to getting everything he wants and this situation is something he has absolutely no say in and it drives him mad. rather than give him some perspective, it just makes him act more entitled and controlling in the rest of his life. end of terminal illness tw //

so cas makes his way through hogwarts, acting like an entitled twat, hanging with his lads, having a laff here and there and earning a whole lot of NEWTs. he had no qualms sharing his world views or sharing his entitled nature, here and there showing a more violent and cruel streak. casworan is a bully, an elitist prick, someone who looks down on most people. 

when the war breaks out, well --- he’s quick to sign up. he believes in the cause, of course, and there’s no other option, really. he’s been prepped for this life. this is what he was made to do. he doesn’t even consider not joining. and so he joins and feels pride and power and a thirst to proof everyone around him that he’s the motherfucking shit. what an IDIOT.

besides his death eater life, cas is mostly focused on maintaining his image. like his father, he works hard on things like charity and philanthropy, so his name appears in the newspaper linked with good news almost exclusively. he’s picky, of course, about the causes he works for ----- things related to education, he genuinely works for, but there’s also some questionable things he donates to.

and then besides that, cas is mostly focused on enjoying life. getting drunk or high out of his mind, fucking shit up with the lads, having a good old time because guess what? the world is his to own and ruin, and he won’t stop at nothing. he’s entitled and obnoxious, but he always pays and tips well and sees absolutely no issues with his behaviour. he can’t wait for the world to become even more his as the war progresses. 

personality & tidbits

...... an asshole.

no literally he’s such an asshole. he’s so fucking used to the world catering to his ugly needs and getting everything he wants and he’s so entitled and such an ASSHOLE.

someone please punch him

anyway --- he likes Extra things. velvet and silk and rich fabrics and leather shoes and accessories with snake themes and polo shirts and ... he dresses like a frat boy, but then mixed with wizarding fashion

ugly. 

pretentious and snobbish to a fault. wants nothing but the best and is used to the best. would often complain about the house elves and their quality of food at hogwarts, because his house elves were much better cooks, they had been trained in france after all!!!

kind of hates his name and prefers to go by cas at all times, and i dont blame him

has daddy and mommy issues lmao !!! 

capitalist right wing scum, tbh. would have voted trump and brexit and all that shit if he was a real person. I HATE HIM SO MUUUUUCHHHHHHH.

“if youre poor, thats your own fault!”

he is literally the worst person

i hate-write this character its a load of fun

he loves his hair lmao

plays the violin and generally likes classical music? a snob, i told yall. also likes other music, let me figure it out pls thanks

okay let’s talk about some of his better sides because so far all ive done is drag this kid and thats reasonable, but ... he’s got some good things, i guess. 

he’s a good friend. like, if you’re his mate, you’re his mate for life (or until you turn your back, which is when he will feel hurt and will hurt u back yike!). he’ll be there for u Big Time. not good at emotional support, but good at sitting with a glass of wine/whiskey and talking/listening. will finance u if u need it (he doesnt like poor ppl but makes an exception for friends i guess?). will punch someone for u.

he ... does really value education? he would just like to see hogwarts change around bc there’s so much unnecessary shit (read: muggleborn students and subjects like muggle studies and divination). but yeah, he rly thinks that learning is important and that u have to ~broaden your mind ( but not too much ofc )

he is pretty family oriented, and rn he’s of course 18 so that’s not a big thing, but he’d be a ... proper dad? i think? he rly wants a big fam eventually

still a dick

good dueller and generally a pretty skilled wizard which is a bummer :/

loves partying and getting drunk out of his mind and then breaking stuff that isnt his, very riot club like

idk what else to say but HE IS AN ASSHOLE. 

[singingunderthecurtain]

No spitting, only swallowing! (Request)

Author: @julietsoddeye AU: Vampire | Soulmate Genre: Humor Pairing: Vampire Sehun x Human Reader Trigger Warning: None, just a fun fic that I can’t take seriously. I’m sorry. Word Count: 1,510

Plot: You always find your best friend’s boyfriend to be weird. But going to their joint Bachelor/Bachelorette party, you uncovered his deepest, darkest secret. Oh and apparently you also found your soulmate, so yay, right?!

A/N: New drinking game! Every time the word ‘dick’ is mentioned, take a shot. Lmfao kidding. This is a universe where Vampires and Humans co-exist without problems. Hope it’s not sucky at all for yall, after all this is a humorous fic. Hope you like this one, this is for you @itsmeayishaa ♥

Heey /)///(\ omg you're amazing fjkdnfs I'm suddenly all shyyy xhjshds may I please request a Sehun vampire au? Where he meets his soulmate in an unexpected way/place which somehow leads to an accidental kiss?? >///< Or if not you can take the story any way you want ~ I don't mind hehehe thank you in advance sweets ♥ ♥

Arriving late at the penthouse of this famous five-star hotel in the city. You didn’t expect this Bachelorette party to be so… Co-ed.

The butler’s face contorts uncomfortably when he took a big basket of dicks from your grip. You felt bad and apologetic with his reaction. But your best friend actually requested for you to get a bunch of dick choco pops for a party game.

“Oh, there she is!!!”

Andi, your best friend, howls when she saw you slowly and awkwardly emerging from the entrance. The crowd of twenty or so people twirls their heads in your direction, immediately making you suddenly feel nervous and small.

The butler finally left you alone to drop the basket on the table spread full of drinks, snacks, and gifts.

“What took you so long?”

Andi ran to you, meeting you halfway with a kiss on your cheek as she shoves a cocktail drink in your hands

“It’s a Friday night, I got caught in a little traffic.”

You were about to take a sip of the drink when she suddenly pulls you to where everyone was. You instantly recognize your group of friends, plus Junmyeon, Andi’s fiancé, and his equally strange group of friends.

You don’t really hang out with Junmyeon or his friends much unless Andi literally begs and kneels in front of you. There’s something about them that shakes your insides in a very not good way. And up until now, you still cannot point out what it is about them that makes you uncomfortable. Even after all these years of Andi and Junmyeon being together.

Sure, you’ve dealt with a lot of rich snobs like them in your short life, you’re a secretary for one dammit, but something about Junmyeon is not normal...

He treats Andi like a Queen and she assures you Junmyeon is a fine gentleman. Maybe, you just didn’t give him the proper attention as much as your best friend would like. Now you feel like a shitty friend, great!

“Should we start the first game since (Y/N)’s here?”

One of your girlfriends, Joni who planned the party, asks no one in particular. All the girls then roar with excitement. The men though have empty reactions, probably just as clueless as you are with the night’s plan ahead.

“Did you bring the dicks?”

Few of Junmyeon’s cronies snort with laughter, your cheeks immediately flush with the frankness of Joni’s question. You coyly point at the basket that was on the table and she signaled for one of the butlers to bring the stuff to her.

“Okay, since our Andi is marrying a vampire and—”

“Wait… A what? A vampire?!”

You screech, not letting her finish what she was about to say. Your mouth opens in shock as you look at Junmyeon. He had an uncertain smile on his lips, worried that you’d hate him even more now that you know his secret.

“Do you have a problem with us?”

You heard the sadness in Baekhyun’s voice when he spoke up among the crowd of close friends.

“No, Baek. She’s just a little iffy with your kind.”

Andi offers an explanation. You faced her with your forehead creased and mouth still hanging open.

“Wait, so that’s it? Junmyeon’s a vampire?”

“Well, I thought you’d have a problem with me dating one because I know you really hate your previous asshole vampire boss.”

Andi grimaced as she clings on Junmyeon tightly. She’s waiting for you to yell at her or something, but it never came. You did hate your old boss and you never really cared about the vampires in your society, but you’ll never judge her for marrying one.

“Andi,” You paused as you clutched your chest dramatically.

“I did have a bad experience with my old boss but I would never discriminate all vampires just because I encountered one who was an asshole.”

You pouted. And Andi pouted as well. You need to have a better communication with her, your busy lives shouldn’t get in between your friendship. It’s mainly your fault though because you avoided Junmyeon’s company like the plague.

“Come here!”

Junmyeon opens his arms wide. Holding Andi on his right, and reaching his other arm for you to take. You gladly walk over to them and embraced both Andi and Junmyeon, rocking them gently.

“Wow!”

“Finally!”

“Yay!”

All your girlfriends express their awws and squeals of joy in a chorus.

“Now that everything’s clear, should we start the actual party?”

“Yeah!”

Andi shouts out before giving you another tight embrace to whisper a ‘thank you’ in your ear. You smiled and whispered kind words back to her.

“Okay, the first game is Girls versus Boys eating contest. I only need one representative for each group. Whoever eats more pops in sixty seconds, wins!”

Joni then proceeds to grab the choco pops from the basket and drop them on a small table in front of 2 chairs.

“What the hell? That’s so unfair, why does it have to be shaped like dicks?!”

Sehun complains, his arms crossed in front of his chest and a disgusted expression embedded on his face.

“Shut up Sehun, this is a joint party! I even allowed Jongdae to call strippers to dance for Andi and Myeon!”

Joni requites.

“You’re such a negative Nancy! Why don’t you represent our group then.”

Chanyeol then pushes Sehun on one of the chairs that was facing one another where the reps would sit face to face while eating the pops. Everyone started laughing when Sehun almost face dived into the basket of dicks.

“I nominate (Y/N) for our group!!!”

One of your friends shouts out, making Andi and Joni seal clap nonstop. Shit.

“Please. For me? Plus you love chocolates anyway!!!”

Andi bats her pretty lashes and you roll your eyes complying anyway as you sat on the chair opposite to Sehun.

“Fine, I’m gonna swallow my pride just this once… Literally.”

You smirk proudly with your dick joke and everyone roared with laughter except for Sehun. His face was warped in disgust looking over at the ten or so dicks he has to eat in front of him. Joni and the girls helped you and Sehun remove the plastic covering of each pops for easier access.

“Okay, at the count of three you better start eating!”

You scrunch your nose, giving Joni a determined nod as you prepare your mouth for dicks!

“One… Two… Three!”

“GO!”

Everyone screams and both you and Sehun each grab one pop. Sehun hesitates, looking at you with pleading eyes. His peepers almost pop out when you shoved the three-inch chocolate dick into your mouth and bit the straw stick, sliding it off the candy.

“Holy fuck!”

Jongdae curses as his jaw hang open with what you did.

“Come on, Sehun! She’s on her third dick!!!”

Junmyeon shouts in his friend’s ear. Sehun almost chokes on the candy, hitting his chest hard with his fist spitting out some chocolate on the floor.

“Hey! No spitting, only swallowing!!!”

Baekhyun teased. You cackled loudly with the dick joke before shoving one more pop into your mouth.

“Ten… Nine… Eight… Seven… Six…”

Joni starts her countdown and everyone follows suit. You then start chewing like your life depended on it, grabbing another pop as you continue so.

“Five… Four… Three…”

You bit half of the dick before the time ends.

“Two… One… STOP!”

You drop the half-eaten dick and bang your palm on the tiny table as you successfully swallow. You open your mouth wide to show everyone that you’re finished. You peer at Sehun who’s mouth still full and chewing, with a sour look on his face.

“(Y/N) ate three and a half, while Sehun only ate two! Girls team wins this round!”

Joni announces triumphantly as she hangs a paper mâché medal around your neck.

“This is bullshit!!!”

Sehun kicks the table, knocking it over and making the contents of it to fall on the ground. You were about to step up and push Sehun when you lost your footing.

Just like in movies and dramas, you tripped and fell on top of Sehun, your lips accidentally crashing together. You almost roll your eyes with the cliché.

“Ohohohoho~~~”

You heard Chanyeol tease and everyone cheering like the two of you are some kind of circus attraction in front of them.

Immediately standing up, a loose thread on your flowy top sleeve snagged on Sehun’s shirt button. Revealing to everyone your right shoulder where your soulmark is located.

“Sehun, look…”

Sehun follows where Junmyeon’s finger was pointing at; your shoulder. You heard his breath hitch and his eyes widen when he saw the mark permanently tattooed on your skin.

Sehun starts peeling off his shirt sleeve, revealing the same soulmark at the same location as yours.

Aikie Masterlist | Michiko Masterlist | FIC RECS | FIC REC SIDEBLOG

[thealvinshow]

Ian Hawke

headcanons- this is gonna be a long one, sorry yall. I also posted some of this on a chipmunks forum here. you might need to sign in/register to view that.

Lets see, the chipettes don’t marry the chipmunks, like ever. That’s always grossed me out especially since in some iterations they’re all Dave’s kids. also Britt’s a lesbian. I’m on board with that. actually all the characters can be gay. It’s 2018 and Dave and all his chipmunk kids are gay. I’m fixing this franchise

Britt gets into fashion illustration and eventually takes a turn into increasingly weird and dramatic designs. At one point she’s just constructing unwearable cloth sculptures with a gallery after leaving fashion. She teaches classes on making your own clothes because she gets disenchanted with the work she and other designers are making and the echochamber like quality of the industry. Her favorite decade of fashion was the 70s.

Eleanor becomes a recreational therapist and coaches a soccer team. That’s also basically canon. Also really into Linkin park. Has listened to every album a million times but her favorite is Reanimation (and by extension hybrid theory). Not a snob about the new albums tho.

Jeanette writes and illustrates fantasy and scifi novels. Takes her coffee black and watches cartoons almost exclusively. Major Weeb.

Theo has adhd, specifically inattentive rather than hyperactive. It’s always bugged me that Theo’s main characterization has always been  “kid that eats a lot and is also not very bright”. So the concept of Theo being a bright kid who can’t concentrate is something I kind of like, especially since I personally have been struggling with attention issues for a long time. Theo also takes up training therapy dogs. That’s like basically canon tbh Theo loves animals.That or culinary school but I want to distance Theo from food, there’s a tendency with fat characters to make eating and cooking their main hobbies and I want to avoid that. 

Simon grows up to study applied sciences, maybe mechanical engineering or aero. I study mechanical but I know a lot of Aeros and Simon’d fit right in. They’re the biggest nerds on the planet and they’re impossible to talk to. In adulthood simon is constantly railing on the us education system. It’s stifling and frequently antithetical to learning and creativity. He hates standardized testing and time pressure. I also imagine he’d get in a lot of trouble in high school for mouthing off at teachers he thinks are being unfair. The show treats him like a star student but really smart kids honestly have tons of run ins with the school system and simon is no exception, the kid’s a snark machine and that’s not going anywhere. He has a nasa t shirt that he wears twice a week. Alvin makes fun of him for it but he can’t be bothered.

Alvin continues performing solo in adulthood. I always think he’d be most committed to the entertainment industry. I also always though he’d swear a lot as an adult. Transguy who overperforms masculinity. Punk nerd, big fan of the dead kennedys. Draws all the time as a kid, stops around middle school but gets back into it in adulthood. Starts drawing comics for fun and eventually writes his own with jeanette. It’s not very good but it sells well and they have fun making goofy sequels together.

Dave collects jazz records but only when they’re in the discount bin at one (1) specific record store. takes up knitting with Eleanor to destress cause his blood pressure is thru the roof. Becomes a meme by accidentally getting into one of Alvin’s vines (rip).

i could go on forever but i’m gonna stop here because this is way too long as is. 

tldr- Gay