#like some Jon Martin AU

[the-chaos-crows-victory]

Whoever said no needs to look at the tails. That is maintenance with feelings

Repair

Once the poll is over I'll answer the second question

[lizard-queen-izzy]

*stumbles in bloody and shaking* TMA band au.

[klm-zoflorr]

Unstoppable force vs immovable object my want to talk about my AUs VS. I DONT WANNA SPOIL

Anyways whatever heres the pitch. Eye!Melanie and Stranger!Elias. Melanie and Elias' vibes are absolutely IMMACULATE methinks. Anyways they're siblings. Or were. In the 1800's. Both have been body hopping since then. They get together every 20 or so years and terrorise the populace.

Role reversal hhhhng.... Melanie founded the Institute for the Eye. The current Archivist? Sasha James no shut up it works. Sasha has been at it for too long and has seen too much to get tricked into being marked. Melanie has to find someone else to take the marks. Enters Annabelle Cane. Naive, marked by the Web, just joined the institute. Woah. Melanie now has to dispose of Sasha to get her new, better shiny archivist in place. Sasha will not fucking die.

The AU is named Stranger Danger

[lonelyslutavatar]

Had a dream where I read a fanfic (but it was more like watching a show) where Jon and Martin ended up in a peaceful pocket dimension where they have a choice to live out their lives there or exit through a door that takes them to their final destination which is the main world where all the Fears went. Martin wants to go through the door because he thinks they're obligated to at least soften the blow by keeping the entities at bay while Jon vehemently refuses because for once they're living in peace. Jon wins out and the rest were just them having a domestic life until Martin gets sick with the same sickness his mother had and dies early (the whole scene suspiciously resembles that opening scene from UP) and Jon finding out a little too late that it was The Lonely's absence that caused it and that Martin knew and never told Jon because he knew that would force him to finally enter through the Door just for his sake. So Jon, now an old man, decides it's time for him to fulfill his end of the deal and finish his journey through the dimensions and the last scene was him disappearing behind the door.

There was also B-side of the dream where I moved into a shared flat and there was a face-sucking demon. Otherwise everything was normal.

[mxwhore]

Does sphinx Martin have some terrible horrible fucked up and evil epic claws or is he all soft beans. His paws are so cute I'm squishin em gently.

he only uses them when needed

[happybunnykat]

I think Jmart would work really well in a Pride and Prejudice au bc I think Jon proposing to Martin while insulting him would be funny.

[sparky-is-spiders]

TMA Somewhere Else but set in Dredge. Imagine Jon waking up alone in a strange town, a place he Knows has no counterpart in his world, accepting a job in a village he’s never heard of and getting sucked into even more eldritch nonsense. Exploring this strange ocean and slowly trying to unravel the secrets it keeps.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I think a lot about how badly the "I lied on my CV" scene would go with Archivist Sasha. A LOT. Now this is based on some things:

a) The paranoia

• A lot of Archivist Sasha AUs act as if she would be imune to the paranoia arc and here is why I disagree:

1. By being the Archivist and feeding the eye you are automatically dealing with an extended feeling of being watched all the time. Not to mention the Eye is literally a paranoia entity (between it's other areas).

2. While Sasha doesn't appear to have Jon's trust issues she has a need to know at least equal to him and a tendency of theorizing. She was of course right when assuming Gertrude kept the archieves messy on purpose but that also shows that between being very smart she is very doubtifull of any behavior outside the person's normal.

3. In that same conversation ahe mentions how everyone has a mask and says to Tim, likely her best friend, that he is as honest to her as he is to Jon it is just different masks. She is fine with this. She is okay with the masks. But that is before things go wrong.

4. She KNEW Gertrude. That means solving her murder is more personal.

b) Sasha knows her shit way to well

• This one is the real fascinsting thing: Sasha is a master in figuring out people's secrets and keeping them for herself. She knew from the start Jon lied about his age and that Martin lied on his CV. To the point that for her this knowledge about Martin is a fun fact and irrelevant, a thing she keeps from because she knows he would be anxious if he knew she knows. The thing is that translating to the "I lied in my CV confession" we have:

• Paranoid Sasha found Martin's letter to his mother (likely writen as a diary with no intencion to actually send it) and thinks that Martin lied about Trevor being dead.

• She knows Martin lied on his CV and it's meaningless to her to the point she might suspect he knows she knows.

• She knows Martin has a complicated relationship with his mother and that means she would assume it to be very unlikely he would ever write this personal of a letter to her.

Conclusion:

Sasha would probably think Martin is using the fsct he lied on his CV as a diversion and truly has an awfull secret. She would also likely tell to his face she knows it isn't it because Martin's mum would never read or care about his feelings or letters and Martin should know this enough to not even bother to write "so this is likely a codename".

[jon-is-blorbo]

The more I think of wing aus the more I can only see Jon with sea bird wings

[fellpyrean]

some post canon beholding & jon uwu <3

What is it, to be tossed to a new world alone with only the god you’re part of? 3200 words. 

1. They are one now. 

That was the whole idea - not that it was supposed to go this way. He was supposed to end it all; not… not this. Not woven together like this, where closing his eyes does nothing at all, where he Knows everything and always will, all the knowledge streaming through him laden with Beholding's heady delight. 

It Knows they have gone somewhere new. It is telling him everything it sees, eyes and eyes and eyes peering through at an entirely new world to learn. 

It is happy as a mindless idiot god being can be, and it makes Jon wish he could still puke. He is alone. 

There is no Martin here. Nowhere in this world. Beholding looked for him before he even asked - and maybe he should have been thankful. Maybe he is thankful that it's incapable of lying about something like that, but it just makes him… cold. A million facts filter through his mind as the Eye eats up the new world, and Jon absorbs none of it. 

He doesn't care. He failed. 

His chest aches, his heart still and dead within. 

It'd be nice if there was a wound to dig his fingers into. Something to draw his attention, to blissfully blank out into and paint his fingers hot and wet. There's only an eye there. Because of course there is. 

It is lurid green and it flutters under his fingertips and even laughing brokenly as he is, he can't bring himself to dig his fingers in. Even if it would make him feel something in whatever damned state he's in.

He just wants to end. 

His whole life, a farce. A play, and his only choice rendered moot. His one shred of happiness - gone. 

Jon doesn't wake. He turns himself inwards. He ignores the ever-buzzing press of the Eye, of everything new and strange and different it finds in this world. He ignores it as it whispers that its other parts have claimed power in this world; it makes no suggestions to him. He hears that Beholding is known here, but only in the vaguest of words. 

The Sleeping Watcher.

Its Pupil Sleeping, the God's View Limited. 

Jon won't wake up. 

He won't cause another end. He won't be strung along and used and played to death again. 

Beholding is almost gentle as it picks out the most tantalizing of facts and tastiest horrors and places them at the ruined doorstep. It isn't gentle, because that isn't something it can be. It doesn't care, because it is an empty, hungry fool. Not even a fool. 

Well, unless he included himself as part of it. 

Which he supposes he should. 

Because that's what he is now. Now, and forever. 

2. Time is difficult to quantify like this. 

Jon isn't sure it exists where they are. Him and the Eye. He knows it exists outside. In the world they and the others technically exist at the very edges of, but he's not sure it can reach them. He doesn't think he's changed any since he's come here, but his knowledge of his own state of being is twisted at best, and that's ignoring whether or not time can twist him any more than being fused into an eldritch god already has. Can time affect Beholding?

It's an interesting idea. He tries very hard not to think about it, if only to spite the Eye. 

He wonders though. How long has he been here? He tries not to look outwards. The Eye still filters facts through him, still tugs at his attention with a truly inhuman amount of patience every time it has some tidbit it… It seems to think he'd like. 

Wait. 

His spiraling thoughts shudder to a halt. 

Jon knows he shouldn't think about this, but he can't help it. 

He should just close his eyes and tell himself that Beholding's offerings have been as random and gruesome as ever, because to say anything else would be admitting he had paid a modicum of attention to them in the first place. 

But… no. The things it has brought to him, pressed into his brain like fucking pop-ups, have… been harder to ignore, because they're interesting. To Jon. Not necessarily to the Eye, but to him. 

It saw a cat today. And Jon must take a moment to absorb this, because the cat is absolutely enormous for one, and also that that's apparently how big cats just are in this world, and the Eye is all-too-eager to show him the literal statistics it has collected. Today's cat is on the higher end of the curve in size, and it has 23 toes and enjoys wearing a strange, sharp little hat which he Knows is an accurate military replica. 

It is named the Admiral, the Eye whispers, in what Jon could swear is meant to be an echo of softness, and then it is showing him more. Slowly, gently, pulling him along to learn about this cat of all things. 

About its favored fish when it struts down to the docks like a supervisor and all the fishermen greet it. The fish comes from deep in the sea, where its scales are not nearly as brilliant and shining as when the sunlight they never should have seen flashes upon them. They are a rare catch, and the sailors are delighted to pull one up for the "Boss." Jon can see unnatural wisps of fog clinging to their ships, their faces, but they clear up as this cat the size of a Labrador walks by. He can hear the whispers of the deep, the faint notes of maddening, loving song hanging amidst the sailors, and knows it as threads of his… his kindred. The Vast as unchanged as ever, the Corruption blooming and festering in letters stained with salt water, and both of them retreating as an Admiral checks in on his humans. 

It is a Hunter, the Eye says, and shows him an echo of just what this cat hunted to be named Admiral, and Jon can't help but laugh. 

It is not a pretty laugh, but he makes it in spite of himself and the Eye buzzes around him as if to join in. Presses around him, heavy and familiar, as it shows him the cat's owner, and Jon's laugh turns strangled and tear-soaked as he sees two women welcome it home, different but so, so similar. 

3. Jon tries not to watch them. 

The two women whose names he is deeply torn on learning, because he Knows they are not them. They are still in the world he… left behind. They had a life after hell to look forward to - and the Eye wants to Know so, so badly what the world looked like then and Jon would laugh at it if he didn't wish so dreadfully for the same - and to give their names to these two separate, entirely different people feels. Wrong. It'd be wrong. So he should learn their names, but he also desperately doesn't want to try. It feels like… a loss. 

That if he were to look for himself, he'd be embracing what he is now. That all this unmarked time trying to ignore what he is, trying to shut out the things Beholding brought to him would be pointless. That he'd be playing into another game where he's the Fool, but maybe he is, because all it took for him to start looking outward was a dog-sized cat in a jaunty little cap. He always stops looking when it gets home. He does not look inside; he does not look at the sliver of golden warmth he sees there in soft reds and oranges and yellows and rich, wooden browns from what he thinks is a humble but absolutely homey little flat built on a narrow, cobbled street just a block or two in from the docks. The windows are fogged with condensation most mornings, the fireplace working hard down to the embers to hold off the morning mist that fills the streets like thick soup, and sometimes… sometimes he hears them. Snatches of words as one lets out their dear, sweet Admiral for his walk and he always tears himself back like a startled bird before he can linger on how familiar the voices are. 

Watching the Admiral is easier. 

There isn’t anything new to learn by turning their gaze upon a cat, but Beholding humors him. It’s… it’s a thought Jon can’t quite believe, but he knows that Beholding is different now. He knows it is actively changing. 

One of its eyes calls for his attention and he looks and sees a particularly lovely sunrise above a field of softly waving grain, gilded bright and shining in the light. He’s perched on a fence post, and realizes with some amusement that he is looking through the eyes of a rooster outside a small, quiet farm far, far out into the countryside. The people who live there may never see the sea, or a mountain, or any number of other things, but every morning they have this sight to greet them. Hills and hills of swaying gold, a glittering sea of their own he spots an intrepid goat wading through with the determination of an explorer. Its name is Rocky, so named by the couple’s children because usually he perches on the rocks outside the barn, but he has sprung an escape this morning. 

It is completely soft and normal. 

Something the Eye should never have bothered with. He is sure it would find showing him the monsters that hunt in the forests he can see on the horizon much more interesting. Things twisted by pelts they never should have touched, the stories of how the beautiful, slithering furs found their ways into their hands simply delectable and blood-soaked, the miasma of terror that clings to the darkened, woodland paths a veritable feast. 

Jon can taste it. 

He knows some piece of the Eye is there. Running through the trees with too-fast breaths falling from their lips. A lost relative, a mystery to uncover, something lost they must find consuming them far more literally than they know. He knows the Eye watches through them, eager to see just what horrors will befall them, and yet it chose to show him something else. 

It looked at the sunlight glistening on the horizon and Knew that soon, by the time this set of eyes was far below the too-dark trees, it would be a beautiful sight. So it found another pair of eyes and brought Jon to look through them as elsewhere, blood patters soft as rain across the fallen leaves. 

The Eye purrs at both. 

It feels warm at both. It feels warm at Jon’s pleased sigh, looking along eagerly as he lets his too-sharp gaze examine each plump grain and swaying blade of grass, as he lingers on things so small, so mundane and boring and the Eye watches contentedly with him and appreciates it. 

And Jon’s breath shakes. 

He can feel it. The stirring, subtle strands of simple words twining with his own idle thoughts. 

Beholding is thinking. It is feeling with him and he can feel so, so much more now. Each offered sight, each bit of knowledge it has absorbed, eyed critically before held out on eldritch palms towards its own beloved Pupil. Its Pupil that is hurting in ways it doesn’t understand, because they are together and isn’t that what they both wanted? It is confused and bewildered, it does not understand and cannot Know why its Pupil hasn’t left to walk again and show it more things, but it thinks that maybe he is Sad. 

It does not understand Sad, as much as it has watched and tried to learn it. But everything it has seen has shown it that one who is Sad should be ‘cheered up’ with things they like, and so. It tried. 

Ceaselessly, patiently for it knows no other option, until it saw the Admiral and a thrill of excitement fluttered its many eyes. 

He will like this. 

And he did, and Beholding laughed with him even if it didn’t quite understand the whole thing. 

4. Jon is the cause. 

He has… he was curious. Beholding had no mind. He Knew that. What emotions it felt were beyond simple before; echoes of feelings, mostly just hunger and, most generously described, happiness that its ‘favorite’ was coming to it. A perfect idiot puppet, but now it is different. 

It comes to him now. As Jon watches the cats on the docks, as he watches the Strangers mixed in the crowd - as he watches one lose its hat and a hand to the Admiral’s proud claws and cackles as the sailors heckle after the thing - and the Eye holds up something to him. 

A couple is getting married. The crowd laughs and cries in equal measure as the two men wrap each other up, an echo of a too-wide smile on one face with hair that winds in such familiar golden spirals, but the other doesn’t seem to care. His hair is dark and long and Jon can see his father watching alone but endlessly proud nearby on the far-emptier side of the little church. The whole place is a mess of faces so, so achingly familiar that Jon almost cannot breathe, to be honest. But he doesn’t let himself linger. 

Their life together is a precarious balance of truths and woven lies, but they are happy. In this moment, everyone there is happy. Even when the taller of the grooms lifts the other up and spins him, coils him up in ways that shouldn’t be quite possible and laughs like the bubbles in champagne. 

He isn’t sure what the Eye wants him to say. He can tell it has a question about the whole thing. Based on… on everything Jon knows, this happiness can’t last. The Fears are antithetical to a happy ending. But as he and the Eye watch from the fat white doves that sit in the trees outside, he lets himself… Hope. Maybe, despite everything, they can find happiness here. 

And if Jon spies a hungry book that snuck in amongst their wedding gifts, and, well. Casts his gaze upon it. Watches the piece of one of his kin wither and shriek to nothing but ashes scattered on the wind, then he doesn’t think anyone there notices. 

(The taller one does. It does not know why, but it pauses in its dance, looking towards the gift table with curiosity stinging at its tongue. It should perhaps be concerned at the brush of power descending there, its fingers threatening to slice the lovely suit its new husband wears, but then it sees the naughty little thing that caught its sibling’s gaze - that dared try and snatch its sweet husband right in front of it - watches it be simply read to death, and it laughs. 

That the Sleeping one should wake up for them, should be present for their strange little wedding tickles it practically pink. What a strange and unexpected guest! And after their parting, well. It shares a look with its sister and pretends not to notice the Perfectly Normal Doves that stay far too still far too long, eyes glinting green, and relishes this little tidbit nearly as much as it enjoys the cake.) 

5. The Eye shows him an image of them, together. 

Of itself, just a giant eye with a little black bow tie and himself in a nice, slim suit, surrounded by its siblings in a dark church with far, far too many candles that burn a touch too hungrily, and Jon could choke. 

It seems upset when he sputters out that they can’t get married. 

It is, possibly, the most ridiculous thing he could ever imagine when the Eye begins to sulk about it. The Spiral got married. Why can’t they? 

(Because it isn’t who he wanted to marry.) 

6. The Lonely ate one of the sailors. 

The Corruption got to the family of another. 

And the Vast, well. The Vast doesn’t take just one; it takes an entire ship, entire fleets, when it gets hungry, with a storm with waves like teeth.  

It’s too much for a cat to deal with. As valiant as the Admiral is, Jon is already watching with dread as the cat stalks a vampire that’s decided to nest in a building far, far too close to where they live. Beholding hums like a worried bug across his shoulders as he watches the hunt, fretting along with him though for entirely different reasons - and he knows it isn’t him that fixes the vampire in such a powerful gaze it freezes. Pinned like a bug to corkboard and entirely vulnerable when the Admiral staggers up and rips out its disgusting throat. 

But he knows the cat looks up at both of them afterwards. 

Up at the eye Jon hadn’t even realized he was looking through, drawn in chipped and fading paint on an abandoned shopfront’s windows. 

The Admiral tilts his head to them. It’s fortunate it isn’t a full hat-tip because Jon would probably die, but it’s enough to see a cat bow in thanks before he makes his way back home. 

Safe, if battered and bloodied. They’ll be worried. They’ll keep him in for a few days, they’ll clean him up and trim his matted fur and spoil him a bit with cream. 

Not as nice as the fresh-caught fish, but the sailors won’t be out at sea for a bit. They are mourning their friends. Mourning the strange, hungry darkness of the sea, the skies with stars that lied and led near all of them to ruin. Jon doesn’t know why the Fears here have become more active. What catalyst has riled them so, but he dreads that it might be him. 

There are more eyes in the city now. He has looked through more of them - painted, drawn, cut into wood and stone by bored residents who come back to themselves unsure why they’d carve an eye of all things - and he wonders if. If his touch has been noted. If their touch has been noted. If his… if his watching has molded this place into something less normal, closer to the fringes of reality he and the Eye dwell within. 

He could Know if he wanted to. If he let that last barrier between them collapse, if he reached out and immersed himself within its sea in search of answers, twined together into one completely inseparable whole. If he completed the mind it had begun to piece together with his own as guidance. Without and within, a piece of the whole connected, fully and truly, one being merged down to the core. Feeling and thinking and watching and using that knowledge. Together, they could walk this world without pulling through the others in full, because Beholding has him already. 

They could help here. 

The Fears are still mostly whispers in this world. Unknown and thriving, but they could be Known. Yes, this city would be changed if their advent came here. But it is already changing. 

And maybe. Maybe, he thinks he hears the Eye whisper, it does not want to be another’s marionette this time. 

[statementends]

I'm still thinking about this au so I'm gonna put some thoughts I've had here like a cat with a dead mouse. Know that this is affectionate excitement and not me wanting you to put these things into your au.

Okay so like Jon knowing where to get everything when everything is open. He's an expert in places where no one will be there. What time to see a monument and be completely alone. He even knows where the good clubs are (even if he's never been himself) but somehow they're always empty.

Elias Bouchard often has meetings with Mr. Lukas (who no one except Martin ever sees or talks to) and he always has to bother Jon before his meetings.

"Have you ever thought of going into academics, you have the mind for it."

And Jon doesn't like talking to Elias. He feels watched and judged when they speak, but he also doesn't feel so crushingly lonely. And at the same time things are happening here that's strange and unnatural. Martin has been panicking about the last Manager's disappearance.

Then feelings developed for Martin but bad things have happened and if only he could have some information and know what's happening and help him and Elias has said he'd give him access if he did some recordings for him...

And Peter ignores Martin's worries about it because he does need the archives for his plans... Maybe he can get Jon in the panopticon, isolate Martin more and set off the ritual for the lonely. He has ideas anyway.

Had this au spinning around my head for awhile, finally got some drawings done for it lol

It’s a complete reverse au where instead of the Magnus Institute and Jon being the chosen one, it’s Martin and it’s now a Lonley aligned hotel: The Lukas Hotels, where you’ll never want to leave.

Also don’t mind the layout inconsistencies I am still working on how this hotel looks

[thestrangepoet]

The Ninth Life | The Magnus Archives One Shot

Based on @ultramarinaa's Cat!Martin AU, and not upon @coworkerjonathan's soul-destroying tragic version of it. If you want that version, it's here.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Buttocks-clenchingly sweet fluff. 

DISCLAIMER: I, once again, wrote this in an hour and haven't proofread it. Forgive the typos and any “first draft” vibes. 

──── •✧• ────

[CLICK] 

Oop, yup, it’s on! Right, erm…This is Martin Blackwood, Archival Assistant at the Magnus Institute. I thought it would be a good idea to—

[A VERY LOUD, VERY RASPY HISSING CUTS MARTIN OFF]

[A LONG, WEIGHTY PAUSE FOLLOWS; SOMEONE IS BEING GLARED AT]

What? I-I mean, given the absolute palaver we just went through, shouldn’t we record what happened and how we fixed it? 

[SILENCE FOLLOWS. BUT MARTIN EVIDENTLY GETS HIS ANSWER]

Exactly! Right, so…ah-hem. This is Martin Bla—

[ONCE AGAIN, A LOUD HISS]

What? What is wrong with—No, Jon, you’re going to hit the—!

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

[MARTIN RUFFLES SOME PAPERS, THEN EXHALES LOUDLY THROUGH HIS NOSE. WHEN HE SPEAKS THIS TIME, IT’S SOMEWHAT TAUT]

Statement of Martin Blackwood, Archival Assistant at the Magnus Institute, London, regarding an encounter with a feline-based Leitner book called The Ninth Life. Recorded by subject, October 17th, 2017.

Happy now? 

[LOUD PURRING NEAR THE TAPE RECORDER SIGNIFIES THAT MARTIN HAS INDEED DONE A PASSABLE JOB]

Good, good. Right, oop! Yeah, okay, you can…sit on my lap while I record this. That’s not…that’s not weird at all. Knowing you’re…you’re Jon. 

…You could at least sit like a cat, Jon. No, no, no, don’t get the claws out, it’s fine! Sit how you want! Heh…K-keeping an eye on me, hmm? While I record? Oh, r-right, yeah, ‘Get on with it, Martin’, noted!

So…about ten weeks ago, I came across a book while tidying through some of the old statement boxes. I’m not sure why it wasn’t in the library or in Artefact Storage, but I suppose that’s a mystery for another time. A-anyway, I had a flick through to try to figure out what it was. Could have just been a normal book, you know? E-especially since it wasn’t put away properly, I mean, really, that’s a health and safety risk that wasn’t my fault, and—Ow! Claws! 

R-right, ‘Stay on the subject, Martin’, loud and clear…

Where was I? O-oh, right. So I took it through to the break room, sat down with it, flicked through, read a few…err, well, ten pages to be precise, and basically, it was written like an old fairy tale. Something about a man who turned into a cat to get away from everyone and…W-well, what I’m trying to say is that it didn’t seem like a Leitner! 

I’d probably have finished reading the whole thing, but the microwave dinging made me jump and look up. No one usually uses the microwave outside of lunch hours, but Jon actually makes cups of tea by microwaving mugs of water and then—Ah-ah-ow! N-no, I’m not getting claw-bullied into not telling people the heinous way you make tea, Jon! 

Right, right, fine! Yes, so, microwave dings, I look up from the book, and…I drop the book. And I drop to the floor, a-and the book’s suddenly huge, and there’s Jon, and he’s looking at me, and…

…and I was a cat. I-I-I guess Jon hadn’t noticed me in the break room before putting his mug in the microwave, because he didn’t realise I was me. Next thing I know, I’m being picked up, held over his shoulder, petted and cooed at and—Owwww, claws, claws! Right, okay, no, no one can know Jonathan Sims has a heart, right you are! 

E-erm, so…Yeah. Panicked a bit. I-I tried to make it obvious to the others that it was me, but they just didn’t cotton on. And I couldn’t read the book to figure out if the ending would tell me how to turn back. O-or if I even would turn back. Honestly, in any other situation, I-I might have been really terrified, but it’s hard to keep worrying when people are suddenly stroking you and giving you all this affection. Heh, Jon even named me Champion. 

But, right, I-I really needed to turn back into a human. You know, as lovely as it was to be liked by everyone, I figured, well, it’s deeply unprofessional to turn into a cat at work, isn’t it? And I really didn’t want to be written up for unauthorised absences when I was technically in the room? 

It took a while – I don’t know who moved it, but the book had gone when I managed to slink back into the break room, had to wait for someone to open the door for me, you see – but I eventually found The Ninth Life again. 

It took ages to drag it over to Jon’s desk. And even longer for him to stop laughing and telling me what dedicated little chap I was. He picked up the book though, and I got so excited that someone would finally realise a Leitner was in play that I jumped up onto his desk and…

…and I…erm…I knocked his cup of tea over the book. 

I could feel my heart sinking. What if I’d ruined it? What if the answer was all smudged up? Jon could tell I was upset, and he started trying to pet me and calm me down, mopping up the tea and everything. Took a while before he got back to the book, and, well…the bookplate had been smeared by the spilt tea, I guess, because he didn’t see any mention of Leitner at the front. He started reading the book, and I tried to nudge him to read the back pages first, to get to the answer before the book could turn him into a cat, but he, erm…well, he read it. Five pages, we think. 

And there he was. 

One minute, Jon’s at his desk, the next, there’s a little black cat with too many scars sitting in his chair. 

Well, after he’d stopped hissing, running around the room – Tim thought he had zoomies, ha ha! – and bapping me on the head every time I got close, he realised who I was. 

And then, he bapped me on the head again. 

So. We were both cats! And it’s so funny, because in the office, Tim and Sasha and me, we all say how Jon gives off major black-cat energy? He’s like this poor wet cat in human form, and now that he was a cat, and it turned out, he is…w-well, he’s not very good at being a cat? 

[A LOUD HISS – EVIDENTLY, MARTIN HAS FORGOTTEN JON IS SITTING THERE]

Don’t hiss at me! You know it’s true. I mean, look, you’re literally sitting in my lap now like a human. Cats don’t do that, Jon! It looks weird! 

R-right, okay, let’s, erm, get on with the story – ah, statement, statement! – before I get scratched again. 

S-so, right, Jon wasn’t really getting the hang of being a cat. He kept clambering up onto desks to type on keyboards, trying to tell Tim what was happening. He wouldn’t even jump up onto the desks, he would literally shimmy up the leg like he was climbing a tree. And, yeah, he doesn’t sit in your lap like a cat, all curled up, no no, he sits…like a person sits. So I figured actually, this was pretty good, someone had to realise something was up with this cat that just wasn’t catting. 

But no. No, no, Tim just laughed and named Jon Skrunkly and got on with his day. 

[A LONG, LOW MIAOW OF CONTEMPT IN THE BACKGROUND]

Nooo! You’re not skrunkly at all, Jon! You’re a very handsome little kitty!

[A HISS]

Right, right! Back to work! Erm, yeah, so, there I am, trying to teach Skr–err, Jon how to act more like a cat. Not because it would help get us back to normal, but because I was worried? He kept falling off stuff, not landing on his feet…jumping and missing things…He was having a really hard time, and I figured if we were stuck like this indefinitely, it might help to, you know…teach him a bit? 

And then, one day, he just…vanished. I wandered in one morning from the canteen, ‘cause Sasha had snuck me a plate of milk, and I couldn’t find Jon anywhere. Tim realised pretty quickly that something was up, that I wouldn’t settle down, and then he noticed Skrun–err, Jon, was missing. 

It took days for me to sniff him out. Which is…a really weird thing to say out loud. On record. Erm. I sniffed my boss out. But it’s insane, as a cat, the difference in senses, a-and to be honest, my eyesight was dreadful because I obviously couldn’t wear my glasses. A-anyway, sniffed him out, and realised he had somehow fallen into the tunnels through the trapdoor? Which is weird as well, ‘cause the trapdoor is always closed. No one would have opened it? 

[ANOTHER LOW MIAOW, BUT THIS ONE SOUNDS STRANGELY LIKE SKRUNKLY IS TRYING TO SPEAK – IT ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE HE’S SAYING ‘SASHA!’]

I know, Jon, you’ll tell us when you, erm, get back. 

So, now I knew where he was, I went into full hyperkitty mode. I was zooming around, miaowing, pawing, jumping on Tim, jumping at Tim, launching myself off bookshelves, you name it! Somehow, I managed to get the message across, and Tim went to open the trapdoor. 

I…I hate going into the tunnels. I really, really hate it. But Jon was down there, and as far as we knew, he’d been down there with no food and water for days! So, down I jumped, with Tim clambering after me telling me to slow down. I kept sniffing, and it was actually pretty easy to find him after that! 

There he was, curled up and shaking near a wall, and I ran towards him, miaowing my head off so he knew we were coming to the rescue, and…

And I…changed back. Right there. Just pop! There I was. 

Tim, erm…Tim screamed. Jon hissed and nearly ran away. It was chaos, and…I’m actually surprised all three of us made it out. Especially with Jon going wild on Tim and clawing him every time he tried to pick him up. What was that about, anyway, we were helping you!

[ANOTHER GRUMBLING MIAOW – DID SKRUNKLY SEE SOMETHING IN THE TUNNELS? OR SOMEONE? WAS HE TRYING TO TELL THEM?]

We got back up to the office, Jon in tow, and now that I could speak, Tim, Sasha and I managed to hash out a theory. 

Basically, we figure that there are a lot of Leitner books that kind of do different things depending on how much you read of them. S-so we have one on record, A Disappearance, if you read one line, you disappear for a bit. But, if you read the whole book, you disappear from the world for good. 

I read ten pages of The Ninth Life, and I was a cat for ten weeks. Checks out! So we reckon Jon read about five pages, and it’s been three weeks, so…two weeks of Skrunkly to go!

Right, think that’s it. Yeah! So, erm, if you’re looking for a cure for The Ninth Life, just enjoy your time as a kitty and wait it out! U-unless you read the whole book, in which case, erm…I-I really hope you enjoy your life as a cat. 

End recor–Ow! What did I miss off this time? 

[SEVERAL LIGHT THUDS SOUND]

Why are you pawing the book, Jon? I…oh. Right. 

Erm…I think Jon wants it on record that, erm…the book is eleven pages long. And…and I read ten pages. 

[THUD-THUD-THUD!]

Yes, yes, all right, you microwaving your tea saved me from an eternity as a cat! That does not mean I am going to let you continue to ruin perfectly good cups of tea like that!

[A LOUD MIAOW OF PROTEST. MARTIN SIGHS]

Recording ends. 

[CLICK]

[boygirlctommy]

I owe everything to that hermit archives au fr fr who would I be without my best friend Martin Killsalot Blackwood

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

Been meaning to sketch stuff for this AU for a while now, and I finally have some very rough design vibes down for Jon, as well as April (his daughter)

For context: this is essentially an AU where TMA!Jon is not Chester, and is instead in a similar situation to Celia, though he’s been working at the OIAR since around late 2018.

Some notes:

April was made before TMAGP Jonathan and Martin were said to be dead, but because this is an AU, I’m sticking with the original concept for her, which is that she was the adopted daughter of the original TMAGP!Jon, until Jon… essentially overwrote him. She was only two at the time, and so the sudden change isn’t something she remembers, but if you looked at old photos before the change, you’d notice the difference.

ERROR and Jon are two sides of the same coin and play into the theme of duality. This may change as we learn more about Error but for now that’s remaining the same.

Jon’s scars from TMA are not present, though he has specific tattoos indicating where they would have been. This is based on the idea that becoming the pupil of the eye reverted him back to how he first looked when he became the archivist, looking the most like himself than he has done in years, right? Well, Jon would… greatly disagree, and didn’t appreciate the ‘gift’.

Oh, and finally, I mentioned this a while ago when I first posted about the AU I think, but the idea initially came to me while I was listening to the song ‘Epilogue’ by The Antlers, and the visual of Martin being trapped in the computer and Jon being by himself hit me like a train at full speed. So, uh, sorry about that. Here we put the tragedy in Horror-Tragedy!

I think that’s it for now though.

[gloomiedyke]

Honestly? Yeah. Like, Jon's bitchy and makes bad first impressions, and honestly Martin can be the same, so I think there would likely still be a small element of misunderstanding/adjustment (plus they're both terminally awkward lmao), but without all of the supernatural trauma and the manipulative stalker boss purposefully engineering a work environment designed to hit both of their stressors? I think they'd be just fucking fine, honestly. Their personalities actually pair very well together, so without all of the trauma-induced paranoia/defensiveness/shitty self-esteem...

I genuinely think martin was just being uncharacteristically pessimistic about it due to his own low self-worth. I'm pretty sure he's partially convinced Jon just trauma bonded to him and wouldn't like him otherwise.

In truth, I think in a normal world/situation they'd just have an "awkward strangers to friends to lovers" kind of slow-burn, rather than the rocky as fuck sort-of-hate-to-love slow-burn that they had in their fucked up monster canon.

btw, i firmly believe that if Jon and Martin had met under different, more normal circumstances, they would've gotten along like a house on fire

literally the only reason they were at odds was bc Jon was already stressed about being underqualified for the head archivist position, and that was exacerbated by the Dog Incident and the idea that Elias was waiting for him to slip up & had assigned Martin to the archives to keep tabs on him

hell, i think if they got along from the start, there's a damn good chance Jon would've fallen for Martin first. not by much, given; they're both the type to fall fast and fall hard, but still. (but it would probably take Jon longer to identify his feelings, so maybe it evens out)

[occudo]

wait, yo there’s an entire mage magic system in this au? Might I ask for more details?

Sooo...

The short answer is that is a soft magic system, with no hard rules, it's just fun with the characters.

The long answer on the other hand...

I had a similar ask before, but since then some things changed, so I guess I try to explain it as best as I can.

So! This is a magical-fantasy-medieval AU, I was loosely inspired by arthurameslove 's fic This Lonely Knight, but since then I made my own version of a similar premise. The magic system is based on the original fears, the avatars are people who are affected by their magic, in one way or another. The more close to the fear the person is, the more magical effect it has.

The most known magic users are witches. They go to school to study, and from there, they can go and become advisors in small kingdoms where they can get gifted titles like Lady and Lord, but they don't get actual lands or servants.

Jon is not an advisor, but Elias' protégé and he can afford to employ Martin, who is a Knight, and previously worked for Lord Lucas. Elias is the advisor of King Magnus.

The kingdoms are based around the Fears, with most avatars being nobility or witches. (I wasn't sure if I wanted to make Simon a noble or a mage, maybe he is not so open about his skills) The witches are glass cannons- they can be really powerful in some situations but otherwise, kinda weak so is a common thing to have a designated knight bodyguarding them if they leave their palaces.

Martin is 'touched' but can't do magic the way Jon, or other witches.

If a witch finishes school, they are respected and believed that they can control powerful magic (with circles and runes) without it affecting their bodies and minds negatively - not like Jane Prentiss, for example. She was a noblewoman who got- corrupted.

Not every witch goes to serve nobility, there are plenty of small village witches, and Gertrude also tried to leave the palace and become a bog witch kinda deal.

Innisially for this au, I made the 'witch factor' the characters' connection to the eye in canon. I didn't see either Tim or Martin really eye-aligned, so I made them knights instead.

Since then I added Sky Mages for the Vast avatars- I just tought flying and stars and sky really deserve their own coven.

I'm not sure about the other fears names and schools jet. The phrase Seer Mage came from @skell3 's fanfic inspired by my comic, and I loved it so much that I baked it in my au. Also, the thought that eye-aligned mages are all about seeking truth and other's secrets, while can't really fly or fight mutch was funny to me.

So this is a loosy-goosy system that I'm still working on. I'm also open to suggestions- like with Basira and Daisy- they ended up being witch hunters.

or Georgie and Melanie

And I changed Michael from a jester to an actual noble/prince

So yeah, I hope this answers your question. Mostly a character-based, case-by-case thingy.