#like she was describing oh he just came over and took his shirt off

[gojonanami]

not me talking with my bestie about her situationship and saying that if a dude I ever dated came over to just fuck, he would experience me committing to a stand up set the entire time 😭😂

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

Mrs Norris

Pairing: Lando Norris x reader

Warnings: suggestive

It was the first time in your career that you walked as a Victoria Secret Angel and you couldn't be more proud and grateful for the opportunity that was given to you. All the work and effort over the years paid off and you were finally able to check off one more thing on your wish list.

This was such a special moment for you, you were so excited to walk the runway with your wings and the fact that you knew your husband would be in the audience supporting you made that moment even special.

Lando took a private plane to NYC directly from his business commitments to support his wife and be her biggest fan. You weren't sure how he would fit it into his busy schedule, but one thing you were sure of was that he would be there. You were sure he would find a way because you knew he wouldn't miss it for anything.

But what you didn't know was that Lando was going to take your daughter with him as a surprise guest for you. He carefully planned everything so that the two most important people in your life would be there for you on one of the most important days in your career.

The show was just about to start and while you were finishing the final touches backstage, Lando and Isla settled in the front rows of the runway. Lando looked like he might as well conquer that same runway in his black suit with his shirt just unbuttoned. His mullet looked flawless, his curls stood out perfectly with his well-known necklaces around his neck, a watch on his wrist and his daughter on his lap, he looked like a god.

As the music started, you were getting more and more nervous, but in a good way, you couldn't wait to get out on the runway and walk your wings.

Words couldn't describe the adrenaline that ran through your veins once you stepped out onto the runway. You've done it a thousand times before, but this time it was a completely different experience. You felt so powerful, so proud and so important, like you could conquer the whole world, as if no one could stop you.

As you walked your eyes searched for your husband, and when they found him it took everything in you to remain professional and not let your motherly feelings get the best of you when you saw your daughter sitting on Lando's lap. Your eyes sparkled and filled with tears when you saw how happy she was, how she waved at you and shouted mommy!!.

"Yees!! That's my wife! I love you baby!!" Lando shouted proudly as you walked by and blew both of them a kiss.

"That's my mommy!" Isla said excitedly pointing her little finger at you.

"Yes, baby, that's mommy" He smiled looking how fixated Isla's eyes were on you.

"She's so pretty," She commented. "And she has wings?!"

"She is, isn't she? Do you like the wings?" Lando chuckled seeing how excited Isla got about them.

"I do!! Daddy, can I have them too?"

"Oh, baby" Lando softened. "Well, not right now, but maybe one day when you're all big and grown up. Even though I hope not.." Lando muttered the last part quietly so Isla wouldn't hear how he hoped his daughter wouldn't one day walk the runway in tiny lace lingerie set in front of a million people and cameras following her every step.

It's not that he didn't want her to succeed one day, but that's just not any dad's dream when it comes to his daughter especially not Lando's.

"But..I want them now, daddy" She pouted. "I wanna be pretty just like mommy"

"Pumpkin, you are just as beautiful as mommy. Daddy's gonna buy you smaller wings so they can fit you perfectly as soon as we get home, okay?"

"Okay." She agreed and Lando kissed her cheek before they continued to watch the rest of the models walk.

By the time the show came to an end, Isla was already too tired and fell asleep on Lando's shoulder. Since it was long past her bed time she didn't even mind all the noise happening around her, she was peacefully sleeping hiding her head in the crook of her daddy's neck.

Once the show was over, Lando, with Isla in his arms, headed backstage to congratulate you. You melted when you saw how tired your daughter was and felt a little bad that she wasn't in her bed right now.

"I'm so proud of you, Mrs Norris" Lando said kissing you as you hugged him over Isla.

"Thank you, baby. How..? How did you manage to do this?"

"Just wanted to make sure both of your biggest fans were there for you on such an important day"

"You're incredible..I love you so much" You said feeling so grateful for the immense support you felt from him, not only now, but always.

In his vows, he promised you that he would always be there for you and ever since that day, he has never broken that promise. He always did everything for you and you only. When it came to you, nothing was impossible for him.

"I love you too, baby. Do you wanna go to the after party?" He asked.

"No, I wanna go to the hotel with you and Isla."

"Oh, she's going over to grandma and grandpa's tonight" Lando smirked.

"What do you mean? We're in New York?" You asked confused not knowing that Lando's parents were there as well tonight.

"Let's say I flew them out here so she can stay with them after the show."

"Oh really?" You laughed already knowing what he had planned in his mind. "And why did you do that?"

"Because I knew what I wanted to do to you tonight." He smirked squeezing your hip. "Daddy needs to show mommy just how proud he is of her for being so marvelously beautiful and owning that runway tonight."

"Oh so I get to have my own personal after party?"

"Oh yeah" He smirked connecting your lips again. "Do you get to take that set with you?" He asked referring to what you were wearing tonight before you changed.

You moved closer to his ear and whispered "I'm wearing it right now under this dress"

He took a deep breath in closing his eyes picturing you again in it.

"Good, because all I could think about was how I'm gonna be taking it off you after the show ends."

When you were ready to leave the show venue, a crowd of paparazzi greeted you at the exit on your way to your waiting car. Camera flashes went off so hard it made it hard to see where you were walking. Lando took off his blazer and wrapped it around Isla to shield her since she was still sleeping undisturbed on his chest. He kept you both under his grip, his hand on your waist first pulling you closer to him then letting you walk in front of him so he can keep an eye on you while with the other hand he tightly held your daughter.

You weren't the least bit sorry that you weren't going to attend the after party with the rest of the models because you knew that the after party you were about to get tonight would be like no other.

[jjkamochoso]

How JJK Characters React to You Describing Them as Your Type When Todo Asks

Fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: pretend you’re in a huge group with all of the students present when this question was asked :) also, I went with the anime adaptation of the characters rather than the manga, just fyi!

There’s a part 2 here! in which you react to them describing you as their type :)

Yuji:

“Y/n! What kind of man is your type?”

“Yeah y/n, we wanna know!” Yuji said, excitedly. You figured there was no harm in sharing, Todo and the group were just looking for fun to distract them for a little bit.

“Okay, well I like guys that are average height, not too tall or short. Super strong, of course, with a cute, goofy smile. Oh, and colored hair is always fun too!”

“Oh man, he sounds so cool! If I find any guys that look like that, don’t worry, I’ll send them your way!” Shaking your head and laughing, you got into a conversation with Megumi while Nobara yanked Yuji out of your earshot.

“Yuji! Don’t you realize what y/n said?!”

He rested his chin in his fingers, deep in thought for a few moments before he answered.

“No? Should I have?”

Nobara didn’t hesitate to whack him on the top of the head.

“They literally described you, idiot! Don’t you own a mirror?!” Yuji’s mouth opened in a big smile. This was great news since he had a big crush on you!

“Y/n! I have to talk to you!”

Megumi:

“Y/n! What kind of man is your type?”

You sighed. You didn’t want to join Todo’s antics but you had no choice.

“You don’t have to answer him. It’s a stupid question anyway.”

Megumi’s voice came unexpectedly from behind you. You smiled inwardly at his protectiveness.

“I appreciate that Fushiguro, but I might as well. Let’s see. I like moody boys on the lankier side with dark black hair and dark blue eyes. He has to love animals too.”

You looked at Megumi to see if it registered that you were talking about him. All of a sudden, he sported a deep blush and excused himself from the group. Todo gave you a hearty smack on the back for your response.

“I’m proud of you for baring your soul like that to the one you love,” he said, tears rolling down his face. “Y/n, go get your man!”

You turned to look at your friends who all just shrugged their shoulders. Looks like you’re off to find Megumi then!

Nobara:

“Y/n! What kind of woman is your type?”

You had no hesitation answering this question, you loved to talk about things like this, gossip and crushes and the sort. Besides, it was time Nobara knew how you felt!

“I thought you’d never ask! I really like short girls with short hair. If it’s a vibrant color, that’s a plus. Spunky personalities are the best and I need someone who’ll keep up with me when I go shopping.”

Looking over at Nobara, you saw her jaw drop and you knew she understood what you were getting at.

“Y/n! You liked me and you never told me?! This whole time?!” she shouted, running towards you. You didn’t know whether she was going to hit or kiss you so you took off running as well. Gotta love the feisty girls!

Maki:

“Y/n! What kind of woman is your type?”

“This stupid question again?” grumbled Maki. You were a bit nervous to reply to Todo. You had a huge crush on Maki but she was, well, intimidating, to say the least. To be fair, so was Todo, and you heard what happened to Fushiguro so you went with the safest bet.

“I like girls who are on the taller side and insanely strong. Light eyes, dark hair. Straight to the point, always. And uh… glasses.”

Maki hadn’t moved a muscle and you cringed, fearing the worst. Best case scenario, she would ignore you ever said that. Worst case, she’d beat you up. When she came over and grabbed you by the collar of your shirt, you gulped.

“Y/n. We’re talking about this somewhere else.”

(Spoiler alert: when you were somewhere else, you kissed🤭)

Inumaki:

“Y/n! What kind of man is your type?”

Todo was on your last nerve. Sure, he seemed nice enough, but why should you be expected to tell everyone your personal business like this? In front of both schools’ students, no less! When you were filled in on what happens when you don’t answer truthfully, you resigned to the fact that you were exposing your true feelings to everyone today, whether you liked it or not.

“I like shorter men, preferably with medium length blonde hair, and bright purple eyes. He doesn’t talk much but more than makes up for it with his top tier sense of humor.” You noticed that Inumaki never broke his gaze from you as you spoke. You shuffled over to where he was sitting to explain yourself, but this time it was you who couldn’t find the right words.

“Mustard leaf?” Inumaki broke the silence first, basically asking you what was wrong since you marched over there and hadn’t said a thing.

“Look, Toge, I’m sorry if I—”

He tugged on your sleeve, stopping you. In his hands was a note that read, “I like you too” with a little smiley face at the end.

Yuta:

“Y/n! What kind of man is your type?”

You weren’t sure how to answer Todo. On one hand, you didn’t want to expose your crush on Yuta. On the other, would be it so bad for the truth to be out there? He was a kind person that wouldn’t drop your friendship if he didn’t feel the same way.

“I really like average height guys with longer dark hair and big, dark blue eyes. Personality wise he has to be extremely loyal and caring. Oh, and good with a sword.”

“Sooo… Yuta?” questioned Panda, and you nodded in agreement, your face warming with a blush.

“Wait, me? Really?” Yuta’s eyes lit up as he broke out into a hopeful smile. You nodded again.

“Oh man, that’s great!” he exclaimed, and then sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve liked you for awhile too and I just thought maybe you didn’t feel the same but you do! Which is amazing!” You laughed softly at his rambling. This school year just got a whole lot better!

Gojo:

“Y/L/N sensei! What kind of man is your type?”

“Todo, isn’t that wildly inappropriate to ask your superior?” you answered, a joking tone present.

“Maybe, but we’re curious! Please, sensei?”

“Yeah, sensei! It’s just for fun” Yuji chimed in.

“And it’s a team building exercise to know something so personal! You’re always saying we need to communicate better,” added Nobara. You rolled your eyes playfully.

“I meant that to be an exercise among you children, not me. But I will entertain this for only a moment, so listen carefully,” you told the group and they cheered like their favorite baseball player hit a home run. As you were about to spill your secret, you spotted Satoru leaning against a wall, clearly interested in the secret you were about to spill.

“I like super tall men who are lean but extremely strong. He has to be very funny and goofy but with a kind heart. White hair and striking blue eyes are also a must.”

Maki’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets as she exclaimed, “You like that blindfolded idiot?!”

As the kids clamored at the newfound information, Gojo took that time to approach you and the students.

“Excuse me everyone, but me and my new lover must depart,” he announced, taking your hand dramatically while leading you away to laugh at what just happened.

Noritoshi:

“Y/n! What kind of man is your type?”

You groaned. You really didn’t want Noritoshi to know about your infatuation with him. It was no secret that he had more important things to deal with than schoolyard crushes so you were afraid to confess in case it made him uncomfortable—or worse, dislike you!

“You don’t have to answer the immature question, y/n,” Noritoshi spoke up when he noticed your discomfort. You were grateful for him but you wanted to keep the peace among your classmates and judging by the death glare Todo sent to you two, you’d better start talking.

“Thank you Kamo, but I value harmony among friends so I will answer this for Todo’s amusement only. I like tall men with a bit longer dark hair and gray eyes. Having an honorable character and being good with a bow is the way to my heart.” You felt Noritoshi tense up next to you and you refused to look at him out of fear of rejection. He took you by surprise when he leaned over ever so slightly to whisper to you.

“I was caught off guard by your confession but I can’t say I don’t feel the same. Can we discuss this later?”

Todo:

“Y/n! What kind of man is your type?”

Your eyes went wide when Todo’s booming voice reached your ears. You were super into him but no one knew. You knew you couldn’t fool him with a fake answer, though, and if you were going to feel his hand for the first time, you’d rather it be from holding it with your own than having it curled in a fist and connecting with your face.

“Um… I like men that are extremely tall and buff. Dark hair, tan skin. And passionate, of course.”

“Hm! That’s a great answer! He sounds hot,” replied Todo, smirking, “but unfortunately for that perfect fake man, I’m taking you on a date first because you’re my type!”

You definitely weren’t expecting this!

Mai:

“Y/n! What kind of woman is your type?”

You rolled your eyes. This big oaf is going to jeopardize your friendship for sure. You really liked Mai but you figured she wasn’t into dating and all the lovey dovey stuff.

“Do I have to answer?” you asked, praying Todo had a change of heart.

“No, y/n, we all wanna know. What’s your type?” Mai chimed in, a sly grin on her face. You gulped.

“I… like women that have short, dark hair and dark eyes. If she’s taller than average that’s cool, and I love a snarky personality.”

“No way!” exclaimed Momo when she realized who you were talking about. You refused to look anyone in the eyes out of embarrassment and fear. What you weren’t expecting was Mai grabbing your hand and leading you somewhere else. Hopefully it was to talk and not get beat up!

Momo:

“Y/n! What kind of woman is your type?”

You huffed in annoyance. There were always some sort of antics with this guy! You had liked Momo for awhile now but she was like an enigma to you. You could never get a good read on her so maybe telling her how you felt outright would be a good thing?

“I really like girls with blonde hair and blue eyes, and short, too. Having a cute personality is a plus as well,” you answered, hoping that was straightforward enough.

“Wait a minute, that sounds exactly like me!” Momo exclaimed, blushing slightly. You sheepishly nodded your head.

“Because it is. I have a crush you.”

The whole group erupted in a chorus of “aww’s” and “how adorable.” You were nervous that you had accidentally made her uncomfortable but your fears disappeared as she came over to sit next to you. When the students were distracted by another topic, you felt Momo’s hand rest over so slightly on top your own and you knew you made the right decision to confess.

Miwa:

“Y/n! What kind of woman is your type?”

Before you spoke, you met eyes with Miwa. It almost seemed as if she was anxious to hear what you had to say!

“Girls with dark blue eyes and are average height are my type. I also really like girls with kind hearts and are down to earth. Blue hair isn’t too bad, either,” you finished, smiling nervously. Both of you were blushing messes while Mai scoffed “Get a room!” Your classmates were just happy that the secret was out in the open—they were tired of you two dancing around your feelings for each other!

[ellecdc]

MOTHERR

Happy Mother’s Day 💐🌷🤭

Anyways, the marauders brainrot continues….I know shocking 😮 , my obsession will never end at this point in time. Oh well, art is kicking my ass and I need something to bring back my spirt lol.

Sooo, could I perhaps, if possible, request a poly!wolfstar? In which;

There’s a party in the commons, after a quidditch match or sm (idk 😭?) and shy reader (preferably female) dresses in only Remus and Sirius’s clothes but somehow finds a way to make her own twist on it and she look beyond gorgeous, all decked out. She doesn’t tell Sirius or Remus and the two don’t realise how much of their clothes and ect. Untill the spot her at the party talking with the girls, and are both shunned because their shy girlfriend is all dressed up, showing skin, confident and all, and in their clothes only, not a single thing of hers.

-🍄

firstly, thank you so much for your mothers day wishes hahahaha I was spoiled for sure. secondly, thank you for your request!!

poly!wolfstar x shy!reader who surprises her boyfriends

CW: mention of drunk friends but no description of drinking?, sexual implications at the end but nothing described and SFW

Remus felt slightly guilty that he wasn’t downstairs to greet you when you arrived at the Gryffindor after party following their latest quidditch win.

The reason he wasn’t there wasn’t even a very good one; it was simply that Sirius always came back to the dorms to shower instead of showering in the team’s locker room and was always riled up (just the way he liked him).

In other words, it was selfish and self-serving.

Which was perhaps why he was currently rushing his boyfriend as he painstakingly styled his hair to look perfectly un-styled.

“Pads, you’ve flipped your hair seven times already, can we go?”

Sirius flipped his hair four more times as he let out a scoff. “Easy bubs; you know I like to be fashionably late.” He responded as he righted himself, shooting Remus a salacious wink in the reflection of the mirror on his dresser.  

“We’re going to miss the party altogether at this rate.” Remus muttered petulantly.

Sirius let out a noncommittal hum as he pulled the collar of his buttoned-up shirt lower in order to show off the new love bite on his neck from Remus, and a few older ones on his chest that you had given him in hopes no one else would see them there.

How wrong you would be.

“I could think of other things we could do instead.” Sirius offered as he stalked towards the chair Remus was currently pouting in and straddled his lap.

“You were the one who wanted to attend the party.” Remus pressed as he allowed Sirius to press lingering kisses along his jawline. “Neither me or your girl were very keen.”

“I’m sure she’d be happy if we took a raincheck.” Sirius responded as he continued his assault down Remus’ neck.

“Perhaps if she wasn’t already downstairs.”

That seemed to snap Sirius out of his ministrations as he looked at Remus incredulously. “Then what in the buggering fuck are we doing up here? Merlin’s saggy balls, let’s go Moony.” He barked as he stood abruptly and yanked Remus’ arm, forcing him to follow.

Remus was only slightly embarrassed that he had to adjust his trousers as they exited the dorm room.

As Remus had predicted, the party was in full swing by the time they made it down to the common room.

Peter was maybe three sips of whatever was currently in his red solo cup away from spending the rest of the night hunched over the toilet bowl, James was already completely ignoring everyone else around him in favour of staring love-drunkenly at Lily as she spoke emphatically to Mary, Alice and Frank were snogging to near pornographic levels in the corner of the room, and Marlene was passed out in Dorcas’ lap as she conversed with…you.

Just when Remus was certain he couldn’t love you more, your sweet, timid, lovely self showed up to a Gryffindor party on behalf of your extroverted boyfriend after they took their sweet ass time to join you when both he and Remus knew quite well that there were probably several hundred other things you’d rather be doing 

And not to mention when you show up looking like that.

“What is she wearing?” Sirius whispered on an exhale; his steps faltering as he took you in.

What were you wearing?

You looked to be wearing – “is that your button up shirt?” Sirius finished Remus’ thought.

And based on the fit and length, it appeared you were, in fact, wearing Remus’ dress shirt.

Though it was cinched at the waist by – “that’s your belt, Sirius.”

“That little minx is stealing our clothes, Moony.” Sirius laughed; equal parts exasperated and lovesick.

You chuckled at something Dorcas said before you turned your gaze to the rest of the party where you spotted your boyfriends.

“What are you wearing? Or should I ask who since you look like you ought to be on a red carpet or something?” Sirius asked in way of a greeting as he made for you, causing your shoulders to migrate upwards as you smiled timidly at them.  

“Hi, dovey.” Remus greeted you as he pressed a kiss to your cheek and shot a wink at Dorcas who was already looking at the two of them knowingly.

“Your girl looks smashing tonight, boys.” She commented; taking a sip of her drink from one hand as she used the other to pet Marlene’s hair.

You, for your part, turned to Dorcas with a look of unadulterated betrayal.

“She looks smashing, always, Meadows; but I have to agree that I like this look, baby girl. Stand up! Give us a spin.” Sirius said as he pulled you up by your hands.

“Sirius…” You chided pleaded quietly as your eyes nervously darted to Remus as if screaming ‘help’.

“Humour me.” Sirius pushed; twirling his finger in a circle to reiterate his earlier demand.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms protectively around your middle but acquiesced to his wishes.

After a few wolf whistles and an actual round of applause from Sirius, and ooh’s and aah’s from Remus, you turned back towards them and Remus could almost feel the heat radiating off your face.

“You played a good game, Siri.” You commented instead of hello, or thank you, or sod off you wankers, which made Remus all the more smitten with you.

“That’s old news, gorgeous.” Sirius dismissed quickly, eyes still darting over your form as if committing this sight to memory. “I’d rather talk about you.”

“I’d rather not.” You argued quickly.

“Tie breaker votes talking about you, sweetheart; sorry.” Remus responded, not particularly sorry at all if it meant he got to keep looking at you.

You harrumphed quietly and looked down at your converse which seemed to be the only article of clothing you were wearing that belonged to you. “You guys are being mean.”

Both boys immediately started cooing and apologising profusely; Remus pulling you protectively into his side as they fussed over you.

“Can’t believe I was upstairs all this time staring at Sirius when I could’ve been down here looking at you.” Remus commented quietly into your hair, but from Sirius’ indignant squawk, he was clearly overheard. 

Your responding smile was well worth it though. 

“Are these my earrings?” Sirius asked then, pushing hair behind your ear to expose the dangly star and moon earrings that Sirius had bought back in fifth year when he and Remus first started dating. 

“I thought it looked good with the ‘fit. I had a vision.” You admitted; tone still shy but words far braver than Remus thinks he’s heard from you with this many people around. 

“And you were right.” Remus agreed readily. 

“The vision was great babes; it’s like I picked it out myself.” Sirius said with a wink. “The only thing better would have been if you showed up in only your knickers.” He stated with finality; seemingly proud of his proclamation and of his girlfriend. 

Remus was expecting you to flush horribly at that as your eyes darted nervously around you.

Except you didn’t.

Instead, a mischievous grin spread across your lips as you looked up at the boys in front of you.

“They didn’t go with the vision.”

Both boys stared at you with varying levels of bemusement as Dorcas let out a snort behind you. 

“What didn’t go with the vision?” Sirius accused quickly. 

“Knickers, you tosser.” Dorcas answered from behind you. 

Remus felt a blush of his own take over his face as he realised you had been waiting down here for your boyfriends looking like that without anything underneath your ensemble.

“Are you serious?” Sirius asked stupidly.

“No, you’re Sirius.” You giggled as if you made a truly funny joke, cluing Remus into the fact that you had these boys exactly where you wanted them.

In the palm of your hand.

“Better make a move quick, Black.” Marlene slurred as she rose from the dead sleep and blinked at the boys owlishly - one eye beginning to open before the other had even shut. “Otherwise we w- we will.” 

Remus barked a laugh as Dorcas lovingly rolled her eyes and tried to tame Marlene’s now unruly bedhead, but Sirius appeared to take the threat earnestly as he quickly picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, ignoring your surprised squeak and subsequent protests as he raced up the stairs to the boys’ dormitory. 

“Quickly now, Moony.” Sirius called as he took care to cover your arse with one of his hands lest your ‘Remus’-shirt-turned-dress’ were to ride up. “Can’t believe I let you waste all that time getting ready when our beautiful, gorgeous, lovely girl was waiting for us.” 

Remus rolled his eyes as he followed the sounds of Sirius’ faux chiding and your squealing laughter, wondering if Sirius’ diligent eleven flips of his hair was worth attending a party for four and a half minutes.

[thealtoduck]

Forbidden Fruit

Theon Greyjoy x Male Reader

Warnings: Smut, Theon in his asshole era, anal sex, loss of virginity, doggy style, use of the word ”whore”, Theon referring to your ass as a ”cunt”, rough sex, unprotected sex, breeding, spit as lube, everyone kinda wants to fuck you too…

Summary: Theon has his eyes set on you and wants to be your first…

——

The sounds swords clanging against each other rang out over the courtyard of Winterfell as Theon Greyjoy and Robb Stark practised their swordfighting. Both of them in full focus on the task of beating the others.

Theon was just about to land a winning strike when someone behind Robb distracted him, stealing his focus. A beautiful young man, Y/n Poole, the son of the steward of Winterfell. Theon was distracted just long enough for Robb to be able to knock him to the ground.

”Come on Theon, keep your eyes on your opponent” Robb said annoyed and turned to see what Theon had been looking at, his eyes landing on you. ”Y/n, the steward’s son?” Robb questioned his friend. ”I’ve heard one of the chefs claim he took his virginity but he was drunk so i think he might have lied” Robb gossiped as he continued looking at you.

”I wouldn’t mind fucking him myself” he then said to the annoyance of Theon. ”Oh please, is the little lord Robb Stark gonna fuck the steward’s son?” Theon mocked him. ”He needs someone to take his boy cunt like the little whore he is” Theon said looking hungrily towards you as you were talking to a couple of castle guards.

”And that’s going to be you?” Robb questioned sarcastically. But Theon wasn’t listening he was already planning.

——

That night during dinner…

Theon watched you as you sat next to Jon, chatting cheerfully. Theon needed to catch you alone. Luckily for him he’d get his shot soon… You were also sat next to Sansa Stark which put you in the crossfire between her and her sister Arya’s never ending war.

Arya loaded her spoon with a piece of meat pie and launched it towards Sansa… but she missed hitting your chest, dirtying your light grey tunic. ”Arya! Look what you did?!” Sansa scolded her younger sister. ”I’m so sorry about her” Sansa apologised frantically as she tried to wipe of your shirt with a cloth napkin.

”Don’t worry about it Lady Sansa, i’ll just go change” you said calmly, standing up from the table and walking off. Theon saw this was his chance to finally meet you alone.

He soon managed to sneak away from the the dining hall. He stopped by the kitchens and snagged two goblets and a pitcher of wine, then he made his way through Winterfell castle towards the small part occupied by Steward of Winterfell and his family.

He knocked on the door he knew belonged to you. ”One moment” came your voice from the inside. Then the door opened revealing you in a nightshirt and underwear, you quickly wrapped yourself in a thin blue robe to cover up more for you’re unexpected visitor.

”Theon” you said happily at sight of him. ”Sorry, i’m not more properly dressed i was just about to go to bed” you said tying your robe. ”Oh no worries” he said with a flirty smile, you were gonna be even less dressed once he was done with you.

”How can i help you?” you asked. ”Oh, i just wondered if you’d like to have quick drink with me” he said holding up the pitcher and the two goblets he brought. You looked unsure. ”If your not too tired of course” he quickly added.

”Of course, a drink wouldn’t hurt” you said and held open the door for him, letting him in to your bed chamber. Theon observed the room, it was smaller than his own. It had a small square window with a nice view. A little fire place where a fire was burning, heating up the cold castle room.

A square table with a set of two chairs and a clothing chest right next to it. And finally the bed, which was draped in soft blankets. Above it hung a banner for your House, House Poole. The room was textbook definition of what Theon would describe as cozy.

You sat down in one of the chairs by the table, as Theon put the goblets on the table, pouring wine in each and then putting the pitcher down. He sat down in the other chair, you both grabbed your goblets. ”Cheers” Theon said and you clinked your goblets together and drank.

The two of you talked for a while. Theon decided to start testing the waters. He moved his leg slightly making it rest against yours, your eyes drifted to his leg for half a second before you looked back to him but you didn’t move away.

Time passed as you told Theon a story, once you finished it became quiet through the chamber. ”You’re really pretty you know” Theon stated boldly filling the silence in the room. Before you had time to respond Theon started talking ”Some of the staff has been talking about it, how they want to fuck you. Even the lordling Robb Stark said so”.

”And i understand them, you are very pretty” he continued. You looked rather unsure what to answer. ”Tell me Y/n, have you ever been fucked before?” Theon asked shamelessly, leaning closer to you. ”I… no, i have not” you told him, trying to stay casual.

”Would you like to be?” Theon then asked immodestly, leaving you slightly stunned. ”By-…By you?” you asked, Theon gave you a smirk as comformation. ”I-I wouldn’t know what to do” you said shyly. Theon played with the strings of your night shirt and said ”Don’t worry, i’ll show you”.

He then pulled you in to a kiss, his lips pushing hungrily against yours. Theon pulled you both up from your seats leading you to the middle of the room as you made out. Theon pulled of your robe, then his own jacket and he continued until you were both left naked in front of each other.

Your dick had gotten erected from Theon’s sudden interest in you and it made Theon’s own manhood swell with pride. He took your wrist in his hand and guided your hand over his slightly fuzzy chest down to his erect manhood. It was the first time you had ever touched another man in such a manner.

He made you enclose your fingers around his hardend cock and tug at it a little, rubbing him off slowly. ”Feel what you do to me Y/n” he uttered.

He led you backwards towards your beds and your naked bodies climbed up on it. Theon laid you down on the bed and the two of you passionately made out. Theon moved his hands to you ass and let his fingers graze against your hole.

You were unfamiliar with his action as you had never experienced it before but let Theon continue. He slowly started pushing his finger inside you, making you audibly gasp against his lips at the feeling of being streched out. ”That’s right relax” Theon instructed.

Once he added next finger he did it more hastily, making you yelp quietly. Theon let out a small chuckle ”Such a warm nice cunt for me to fuck” Theon said before shoving in a third finger.

Theon then stood up on his knees, he grabbed you and positioned you on all fours, ass spread out in front of him. He spit in to his own hand rubbing it on his manhood. ”I’m gonna take you like a real lord would” Theon said which you wasn’t sure if it was a statement or a warning.

Theon didn’t waste any time and started pushing his rockhard cock inside your virgin hole, making you groan, feeling yourself be filled. ”Fuck your tight around my cock” Theon said pleasureably sheathing himself fully inside you.

Before you had time to adjust he snapped his hips forwards thrusting into you making you release a small cry. ”Was this what he had meant? Was this how lords fucked their wives?” you thought to yourself.

Theon grabbed your hips and started setting a pace a his hips thrust against your ass. His raw cock forcing your walls to stretch, you released several whines as Theon roughly plowed in to you. ”Fuck Theon, you’re so big” you said through your pained but pleasured moans.

Theon grabbed your head as he pounded your ass saying ”What would your steward father say? Seeing his son deflowered by Eddard’s Stark ward like some common whore”. As he thrusted as hard in to you as his body would let him.

”Maybe i should go get him after this and make him come look at his son’s cum stained body” Theon said cockily. You however couldn’t answer him as you had your face pressed against the matress moaning endlessly from the ecstasy of Theon’s cock fucking you.

”Maybe i should start coming by every night and make good use of your cunt and fill you with my seed” he suggested, his thrusts rocking your bed back and forth. ”Shame you can’t have my bastards” he added.

From the endless groans to the creaking bed, you hoped no one could hear you getting your virginity fucked out of you by Theon. You felt your own cock twitching getting close to your orgasm. ”I’m gonna cum” you moaned. And soon after your load dripped down on the sheets below.

Theon kept plowing in to you for several minutes, claiming your ass as his. Sweat glazed his and your body as the room had gotten hot and damp. He grunted and uttered a satisfied ”I’m gonna fill you with my cum”.

With one last rough thrust Theon shoved his manhood deep inside you, his cock erupting staining your innocene with his warm seed. He then pulled out of you with a smirk, seeing his cum leak out of puckered hole and running down your legs. You collapsed on to the matress below in exhaustion.

Theon was just about to get ready to leave but he couldn’t leave you like this. He covered your nakedness under the covers and blankets. He then started getting dressed and before he left planted a kiss on your forehead saying ”You were so good to me, Y/n, better than any common whore, you were divine”. He then gave you a last kiss before he left your bed chambers with a smirk and a feeling of satisfaction, and maybe even a little bit of love.

[paulyenvol6]

Toxic

Smutty OS Harry Styles x reader

Contains: adult content, smut, fingering, oral (f & m receiving), overstimulating, p in v, unprotected sex, dom and mean Harry, degrading, gagging, basically smut without plot

Wordcount: ~3.05k

Masterlist

Harry and Y/n had a difficult relationship. The easiest way to describe it is probably to say that they were in a toxic relationship. They fought, called each other ugly things but they always came back.

One of the main reason was the physical attractiveness they felt about each other. They couldn’t take their hands off each other so it wasn’t a rare thing for them to have angry sex after a fight.

„I hate you.“, y/n said, tears in her eyes. Harry just grinned and slighly chuckled. „Fuck you, Harry.“, she then said, having problems holding back her tears. „Mhm, no, I don’t think so. I rather fuck you than myself.“, Harry said. Now tears fell down her cheeks and she softly whimpered.

„Seriously?“, Harry asked raising his eyebrows. „You think crying will make me apologize? Well m’not.“ She couldn’t answer and Harry said: „Get fucking over it, Baby. Then we can talk like normal human beings again and I’ll consider fucking you or going down on you. But for that you need to stop crying, don’t want you to ruin my shirt with your snot.“

That made y/n only cry more and she whimpered. „I hate you so much.“ Harry laughed. „Mhm, yesterday that sounded very differently. If I recall it correctly I had you whining on the bed and begging for me to touch you. You were a fucking mess.“ Y/n looked away from him and she tried to hold back the sounds of her crying. „So? Will you get over it so we can do what I originally planned for us or will you keep making a scene?“ She didn’t answer and Harry sighed. „God, can’t you just answer me? If you wanna keep sulking m’gonna leave.“

„Okay.“, y/n said, her voice so quiet that Harry almost didn’t hear it. „Okay what?“, Harry asked while rolling his eyes. „We can do what you originally planned for us.“, she whispered and Harry smiled. „There we go. There’s my sweet girl.“ He straightened himself and made his way to the girl. He then pulled a tissue out of his pocket and gave it to her. „Dry your tears and fucking stop crying.“ She nodded and tried to make the tears stop.                                                                                                                                When Harry saw that it had stopped he caressed her cheek. „Good girl. Now why don’t you help me a bit, huh? I think I need some release, so why don’t you go on your pretty knees f’me?“ She immediately did as he had asked. Harry, sitting on the edge of the bed, spread his legs so that y/n could kneel between them.

She opened his belt and Harry lifted himself off the bed so he could pull his trousers and underpants down. His thick cock was already hardened and y/n wrapped her hand around it. Harry hissed and looked down to the girl in front of him. „Yeah, that’s it. Keep going.“ She moved her hand up and down his shaft. „Now take me in your mouth.“

She obeyed him and slowly took him in her mouth. He was very big so she couldn’t take all of him but wrapped her hand around what she couldn't take. Harry groaned. „Fuck, yes. That’s what you’re good for, right? Being on your knees and sucking my dick instead of talking. Better keep this mouth stuffed.“ She moaned and Harry grabbed her hair to guide her the way that he wanted.

He began to take control and fuck her mouth. When she stimulated his tip with her tongue Harry moaned. „Ah fuck, yeah. That’s right, you know exactly how I like it you fucking whore.“ He went deeper with every thrust until y/n gagged around him. It didn’t make Harry stop. He fucked deep inside her throat and y/n grabbed his thighs for stability.

He threw his head back in ectasy. „Oh shit, yes. Such a good mouth f’me t’use, dirty little thing.“ It didn’t take long for him to come. He shot his load right in her throat which made y/n gag and her reflex was to get away from his cock. But Harry needed her to stay like this so he held her hair tight. When he had finished, he slowly took her off his cock and watched her. Her lips were swollen, she had tears in her eyes and the area around her mouth was covered with saliva, precum and cum. She looked delightful.

Harry grinned and caressed her hair behind her ears. „Good girl, y/n. Such a good fucking girl. Think you should be rewarded, right?“ She didn’t answer but just looked up to him with her doll eyes. „Answer me.“, Harry said and grabbed her chin tightly. „I don’t know, Harry. Whatever you wanna do.“ He chuckled and caressed her jawline.

Then he suddenly got up and walked away. „Get on the bed.“, he said and while y/n made herself comfortable on the bed Harry walked to the nightstand to get a sip of water. Y/n pressed her legs together to get some relief. She had become so horny while getting mouth-fucked by Harry and had felt herself getting incredibly wet. She had wanted to rub her clit so bad but she hadn’t dared to do so without Harry’s permission (and it had been a bit difficult to ask for it with his cock in her mouth).

Y/n crossed her legs for some friction. He noticed it and chuckled. „Fucking pathetic.“ He then hovered over her and roughly opened her legs. She whimpered at the uncomfortable feeling of her pulsating and needy pussy that couldn’t get any relief as her legs were being spread. „Poor Baby. Couldn’t get any relief, huh? Probably wanted to rub your clit so bad while sucking me off.“ Y/n fastly nodded and lifted her hips to get closer to him.

Harry pressed her down and slapped the side of her ass. „Stay down.“ Y/n looked up to him under her lashes. She wanted a kiss from him so badly, but she didn’t dare initiate it.

Harry meanwhile pulled up her top and y/n raised her arms so he could take it off her body. He then also took off her shorts so the only piece of clothing left on her body was her slip. Harry shamelessly regarded her body and his eyes traveled down on her. Y/n felt slightly embarressed and vulnerable under his gaze and moved her hands over her belly.

He immediately grabbed her wrists and put her hands next to her body on the mattress. „Don’t you dare hide from me, Baby. You know I’ve already seen all of this.“ „I’m sorry.“, she said. Harry leaned down and y/n thought he was about to kiss her but he pressed kisses on her neck while his hands caressed her belly.

He then wrapped his lips around her left nipple while his hands played with the other breast. Y/n moaned and wanted to grab his hair so badly. Harry twirled his tongue around her nipple. „Such a pretty girl. Perfect fucking tits, a nice ass and a sweet pussy.“ After a while he stopped his movements and raised his head from her chest.

His hand traveled down her body until he reached her slip. Harry watched her face while he slightly, very softly went over the slip where her clit was. She twitched underneathe him and Harry grinned. His finger then explored the area around her pussy, the inside of her thighs and her lower belly. It got y/n so worked up she was a whining mess under him.

„Harry please.“, she whimpered. „What do you want Baby, huh?“ „I want your finger on my clit, Harry please I need it so bad.“ Harry chuckled. „Well too bad you’re not the one in charge here. So quit the whining now.“ He kept his finger on the area around the spot that y/n needed him on the most until he finally gently moved his finger on her clit through he fabric of her slip.

Harry went in circles and then when he had enough of the slip he just ripped it and left her cunt bare. Y/n cried out at the sudden movement and twitched. „Shh.“, Harry made. He went back to circling his thumb around her clit and y/n closed her eyes in pleasure.

„Keep your fucking eyes on me, baby.“  She opened her eyes again and dug her nails into the bed sheets. „Feels so good Harry, fuck.“ „S’not a nice word t’use for such a lovely lady.“, Harry said and gently flicked her clit. She whimpered and her eyes rolled back when he increased the pace of rubbing her clit. „I said eyes. On. Me.“, Harry growled and gently slapped her pussy. „M’sorry, m’sorry. It’s hard.“ „I don’t care. Do it or m’gonna stop.“

Y/n tried to concentrate on looking in his eyes while she shifted on the bed. He was just so good at it. Making her pussy throb and touching her exactly the way she needed it. After a few more minutes she could feel her orgasm approaching. „M’gonna cum Harry, can I please?“ „You can, Baby. But you’re gonna have to beg for it.“ He slowed down his movements and y/n cried. „No, Harry please don’t stop. Please I wanna come so badly.“

Harry grinned and slowly circled her clit with the tip of his finger. „Please, I was so good f’you. Please Harry.“ „Mhm, was that enough?“, Harry asked and pretended to be thinking. She looked up to him with her doll eyes and Harry chuckled. „Dirty thing. You wanna cum so badly? My poor baby. Got you so worked up, everything.“ She fastly nodded and when Harry started to rub her faster again she sighed and bit her lip.

„Yes, so good Harry.“ After less than a minute she reached her orgasm and cried out his name over and over again. Harry gently slapped the side of her ass. „There you go, darling. My good fucking girl.“ She couldn’t help but grab his arms and arch her back at the amazing feeling.

When she came down from her high his touch on her clit that hadn’t stop when she reached her orgasm became uncomfortable to her. She closed her legs around his hand and tried to push him away. „Harry please don’t, it hurts.“ „Oh honey, that was only the beginning and you should know that.“ Y/n looked at him but didn’t know what to answer. But then he suddenly took his hand off her clit and brought his finger to his mouth.

„You know, usually I’d stick my finger into your mouth, make you lick it clean as if it was my cock and make you gag around it but god you taste too good to do that.“ He licked his finger clean and sighed. „Fucking hell. Never tasted someone that sweet and salty before. Perfect mixture.“ She was speechless at this picture, she had never seen something so hot before.

When his finger was clean he went over her buttom lip with it. „Open“, he ordered and y/n opened her mouth. He grabbed her chin and then spit right onto her tongue. She kept it there and waited for his next words. „Now swallow.“ She swallowed everything and kept eye contact with him the whole time. „Such a dirty slut. My dirty slut, I’m the only one who can do such dirty things with you and use you like that.“ She quickly nodded. „Yes. You’re the only one.“                                                                                                                               Harry then changed his position and moved down so he kneeled between her legs. He roughly spreaded her legs and groaned at the sight of her bare pussy. „Fuck. M’gonna fucking ruin your pussy, baby.“ He slapped the outside of her thigh at his words and then lowered his head and suddenly licked her pussy from her hole up to her clit. „Ah shit.“, y/n cried out.

She was overstimulated but it felt so good at the same time. He teased her hole with his tongue, slid his tongue into it, teased her entrance and circled her clit with his thumb at the same time. It felt so good to y/n that all she could say was a babbling mess. Harry stopped his tongue movements and looked up to the girl.

„Taste so fucking good. Crazy to me that such a dirty, dumb, little thing can taste like that.“, he said and slapped her pussy, which made y/n whimper. He then went back to teasing her entrance and after some time switched his tongue and finger movements, so his tongue took care of her clit while he teased her entrance and the rest of her pussy with his finger.

Her whole body was shaking when he used his left hand to get the hood, that covered her clit out of the way so he could tease it directly with his tonuge. She jumped and couldn’t help but grab his hair. Harry slapped her ass but didn’t stop. He spread her legs wider with his underarms and seemed to press himself closer and closer to her pussy. He then looked up to her to watch the reactions of her body and face. The way that she bit her lip, how she dug her nails into the sheets, how her hair fell into her face… 

„Can I come Harry?“, she then cried out. „Yeah you can, love. Come on, drown me with your juices.“ Y/n came with a shriek and her legs began to shake even more. Harry watched her orgasm with delight and then, without really giving her the time to relax after her high, he grabbed a condom from the nightstand, pulled it over his hard cock and aligned himself with her entrance.

Y/n shivered in excitement and looked up to him with her glassy eyes. „Please I wanna be full.“, she whispered while he teased her overstimulated clit with the tip of his cock. „You want me to stretch your little hole out? Want me to fuck your pussy nice n’deep?“ „Yes please, I want it so bad.“, she whined and shifted restlessly under him. „Then stay fucking still.“

He then slid into her in one movement and y/n shrieked at the feeling. Harry growled and grabbed her hip tightly. Her soft and warm walls felt so tight around him and they stimulated his cock perfectly. His thrusts were deep and intense but he started off with a rather slow pace.

His hand traveled to her clit and he started rubbing her. He knew that she couldn’t come only from vaginal sex, so he wanted her to get pleasure from his movement on her clit. She liked it though when he fucked her and she got turned on by it but she just couldn’t reach her orgasm alone by it. He was now so deep in her that his balls slapped her pussy. Harry suddenly grabbed her legs and bent her knees so they could be on his shoulders.

Y/n cried out at the new angle and her eyes rolled back. Harry gently stroke her hair which was a very unexpected gesture for y/n considering that he was so rough with her at the moment. „Harry.“, she whimpered. „What Baby?“ „Feels s’good. Please.“ She didn’t even know what she wanted but she just felt so whiny for him at the moment. „Feel so full.“ Harry slightly increased the pace and then his hand wandered to her throat. 

He didn’t put a lot of pressure on it but softly chocked her. This image of her, her noises and the way that she felt around his cock drove him closer to his orgasm. „My dirty girl feels s’good. M’gonna paint your walls with my cum and stiff you full with it. Gonna make it leak out of your hole.“ „Mhm, yes.“ „You’re gonna come too? M’not gonna wait f’you so you better bring yourself to it now.“

Her fingers worked on her nipple while Harry kept rubbing her clit. „Yeah, m’gonna come too. Just a little longer, please.“ He stimulated her clit faster and put slight pressure on her throat. She whimpered and grabbed his bicep to hold on to something. „Harry. Harry, please.“, she whined and uncontrollably moved her hips.

And then she came and Harry could feel her clench around him which drove him over the edge and y/n could feel him fill her up. „Holy shit, Baby.“, he growled and threw his head back. „Fuck, fuck.“ He came down from his high and then gently slapped the side of her ass. „That felt good.“, he smirked and y/n tiredly smiled at him.

Harry came closer and kissed her on the nose. „Aww, my poor Baby’s gotten all sleepy.“ „Shut up.“, she giggled and pretended to punch him. „Have to clean you up first anyway.“, he said and then left the room.

Y/n watched him with some sadness. He was so sweet to her now. It was always like that. After they had sex he was always so lovely and caring but the next day it was gonna be bad again. They were probably going to fight and call each other bad things. She couldn’t say why it was like that but after they had sex they were always getting along so well and felt a strong bond and love for each other.

Harry entered the room again and had a washcloth in his hand. He smiled at her and y/n opened her legs. She twitched when he touched her sensitive and overstimulated pussy and her soothed her thigh by running his hand over it. After he had cleaned her, he gave a little kiss to her clit and then brought the washcloth away.

One minute later he returned and jumped into the bed next to her. „Thank you, Harry.“, y/n whispered and turned to look at him. „No problem.“, he smiled. Y/n, knowing that the little spoon was his favourite cuddle position came closer to him. „Turn around.“, she said and he did as she told him. She wrapped his arms around his upper body and pressed her face in his neck. „Feels good.“, Harry hummed and caressed her arm. „Yes, it does.“

Part 2

[cocteaucherry]

what to expect when you’re expecting

dad!nanami x f!reader

cws- pregnancy, 18+, talk of sexual situations, Nanami worrying, overall fluff, this is during Nanami’s office era, mood swings, talk of morning sickness

a/n- (in the mood for fluffy jjk dad stuff prepare yourselves these next few weeks

once you and nanami found out you were pregnant you couldn’t fully describe the joy in his tired eyes.

Tears streamed down both your cheeks as he held your stomach delicately with pure love.

The first month was pure study and nanami clinging to you as much as he could before being whisked away to his shitty office job,

When nights came, Nanami sat up with you reading from the cliche book ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’ his glasses perched upon his nose.”

“Ken, how many of these books are you planning to buy?” A giggle came from your throat as Nanami bent the page corner, placing the book down to wrap his arms around your soft belly, “As many as we need for our family.”

month three came and you were sure your baby hated you, you’d wake up with a severe headache and a need to vomit rushing to the bathroom to throw up everywhere in the toilet. It wasn’t too horrid though as your husband rubbed your back holding your hair gently in his free hand,

You felt like sobbing when he found you like this every other morning but he reassured you with soft words and kisses, “Angel, Y’know I’ve seen every part of you? You vomiting is really nothing bad.” He’d hum gripping your hand softly.

Although Nanami kissed the ground you walked on, your mood swings seem to cause a challenge for both you and his love driven mind for you.

You’d cry and lash out at him in seemingly ten seconds, apologizing with more tears thereafter. He vaguely remembered when you broke down in his arms because you forgot yeast for the homemade bread you were making for him that night.

“I ruined everything!” You’d sob into his chest and Nanami stood frigid just softly patting your back, “y/n it’s okay really I’ve been meaning to lay off the bread-“

“Oh, so you wouldn’t have liked it anyway!” Your voice would raise as he cleared his throat, “y/n I didn’t mean it like that-“

month five came and you were showing even more, your shirts becoming involuntarily cropped as you sighed staring at yourself in the mirror. “Ken! Do you think Yaga would be mad at this outfit?” You hummed, rubbing your hand softly over your exposed belly.

“Yaga maybe, I know Gojo would try to make a spectacle.”’

You grinned, “Like, how come she’s allowed to wear crop tops but when I do it?” You said trying your best to impersonate his voice which made Nanami smile softly.

“Exactly.”

month six came and it seemed everyone around you was pestering you about whether your baby was a boy or a girl, and when it came to you and nanami you never really cared.

“Kennn,” you said in a sing-songy voice as you took a break from painting the nursery wall, Nanami sat trying to build the way to a difficult crib, “yes my love?” He asked.

“How would you feel if we did a private gender reveal? I don’t really feel like making this a whole deal.”

“‘Course, we’ll do whatever you like baby.”

Later that week nanami and you found out through a pink filled cake you’d be having a girl.

And best believe you and nanami were ecstatic, you strolled down the girl’s aisle looking at the arrays of pastel colors.

You picked up a few items showing them to your husband with a smile, “Kennn! What about this?” You said but you were met with no answer your husband spaced out.

“Ken you okay?” You reached for his hand gripping it lightly until he was snapped out of his trance.

“Sorry love,” he smiled, lifting your palm to his lips to plant a kiss on your knuckles, “we’re just getting closer and closer and I’m worrying more, thinking about raising our girl, the birth and my shitty ass job not letting me take off-“

“Hey, Ken it’s okay,” you hummed leaning up to place a kiss on his jaw, “Everything will work out accordingly, your job I’m not sure about though.” You giggled leaning into his palm.

“You’re right, I’m sorry for worrying you.” Nanami chuckled, reaching for the small outfit you chose, “Do we have a name yet?”

“I think we’ll know when we see her definitely!”

Eight months in and you were slowly reaching your due date, Nanami stayed home caring for you (much to the dislike of his boss). Your pregnancy had been a bit of a breeze the few months but it seemed your baby girl wanted an entrance on her way out.

“Shit- Ken I swear she’s trying to rearrange my organs,” you groaned in discomfort laying on the couch, your rounded stomach on display as you rubbed your belly gently, “Just making more space in there love.” He said jokingly squirting lotion into the palm of his hand, a small hiss leaving your lips as the cold lotion made contact with your stomach.

“I’m in painnn, everything fucking hurts.” You hummed feeling his strong hands rub the lotion around the sides of your stomach, “why’d you have to knock me upp,” you said jokingly and your husband eyed you.

“If I can recall I'm sure it was you who begged me to give you a baby.”

“Mmm.. shut up.” You flicked his arm and he smirked, “Either way, I’m sure our baby will be happy with her strong willed, handsome, and smart father.”

“And I’m sure she’ll love her beautiful, intelligent and compassionate mother as well.”

Days later your body was suspiciously calm and non-achey which you thought was weird but you paid no mind to it, you decided to call up Shoko to hang out in the city for a few hours.

“I mean are you sure you’re okay to walk? I mean you go a day without pain and you think you’re an almighty being and shit.” Shoko’s eyebrow twitched as you sat down at the table of a random restaurant

“Correction, I am, and second I can be due any day now let’s just have some fun before she possibly destroys me.” A grunt came from your lips which caused Shoko to stare at you concerningly.

“I’m fine! I’m fine!” You waved her off picking up a menu, “let’s just enjoy the day,”

“Sheesh okay mama, I guess I should get something for Satoru too he’ll be up my ass.”

“Oh please doesn’t he pawn off a mission or two to see you anyway?”

“Barely! He just hangs out with his students.” Shoko scoffed putting her menu down, “I’ll get something for-“

She was cut off by the abrupt look on your face, a small silence filling the air.

“…”

“Not to sound dramatic or anything but I think the baby is coming.” You looked down to see the entirety of the long flower skirt you were wearing was drenched.

“I’ll call Nanami!” Shoko said quickly standing up.

3:08 pm

Nanami rushed down the halls of the sterile hospital with bags in tow, he had gotten the call from Shoko saying your water broke and never did he rush as quickly as he did.

You had pre planned hospital bags packed last week for an emergency and Nanami made sure to get those before coming to the hospital, he panted to come to your room number to be met with an open door and your glowing face in a hospital gown.

“Ken! Oh you’re so sweaty!” You grinned while walking to wrap your arms around him as his hands immediately dropped the bags, “Well I rushed because a certain someone is giving birth to my daughter.”

“Wonder who that is.”

“Me too, we should both prepare ourselves.. I’m sure gojo is coming pretty soon.”

“Yeah shoko mentioned calling him, I’m surprised you two still have a good relationship.”

Kento groaned rolling his eyes, “good is a word, I can respect and tolerate him.”

10:07 PM

“Fuckkk! Why!” You bit down on your tongue, dried tears streaming down your face as you gripped onto your husband’s hand for dear life.

“You’re doing great sweetheart just a little more okay?” He whispered to you, placing a kiss on your sweat stained forehead.

After about fifteen minutes of groaning and yelling and cursing Nanami for doing this to you, a loud cry came and your baby girl was born.

“Sooo.. we have a name?” You grinned feeling Nanami’s nose press against your scalp, his large finger entrapped in the small grip of his daughter’s.

“Let’s figure that out later..”

[thatwritterbeach]

So About that Alley .3

Jason Todd x fmc

DC masterlist ALL OTHER PARTS FOUND HERE

Unedited***Also I swear Tumblr is messing up my spelling on purpose cuz everytime I re-read something I know I fixed it's wrong again

Alex: short, curvy, red hair, green eyes, redheads go through pain meds way faster than normal people to the point I personally don't even take them, it's a joke, they last 30 min at best

Summary: Alex finds out her bf is red hood, after she spills some not so great secrets to the masked man while stitching him up.

Warnings: Vaginismus* angst, sexual assault, self-harm, depression, drug use by Alex, violence, cursing, NSFW, smut, thigh riding, vaginal fingering, guided masturbation?, p in v (not overly described), pain during s*x, hiding said pain, hickeys?, self-hate, insecurities, eating disorder, weight loss

A/N: I do not own dc booho

"Hey, Jay," she asked in a totally calm totally cool manner the next morning, completely numb thanks to the nice little combo she'd whipped up. Not floating or un-present but not in pain, even where the arm of the couch was digging into her side as Jason squished into her, laying fully on top of her.

"Yes, my beloved?"

"Don't make me take away your books you little dork. I was just wondering if your family knows about you...you know, not being dead?"

"Uh, yeah, why?"

"Just if I happened to run into them I wouldn't wanna be like 'oh I'm dating Jason' and they'd be all 'wtf is wrong with this chick, he's dead' you know."

"I guess. Alex," he said grabbing her hand and pulling it to his mouth," I'm gonna introduce you, I'm not ashamed of you or whatever the hell else your mind is trying to say. My family is...overwhelming for most and I didn't want to scare you off."

"I get it dude, and since I just recently placed you as Robin you would have had to hire a family, or spill you deepest secrets to me. Lucky for you, I am the most understanding woman on the planet."

"I'd argue, but you're right. I'll text Alfred, the leader of the gang, and see when we can come for dinner. Be warned though, it could be tonight, they've been trying to get me to come home for a while now."

It was in fact that night. Alex scurried around for a clean pair of jeans, then after a glance in the mirror at her too large reflection she ripped them off and tossed them to the floor. A dress? No, that one has a tear. This skirt? No, it's too short. Jean short, they're clean but who the fuck wear jeans shorts to a mansion. Business slacks, no that says trying too hard. Ah ha, a superman t-shirt, and black leggings, then top it off with one of Jason's zip up hoodies.

"Is that what you're wearing," he asked with a laugh as he came into the room. In fact the laugh became a full blown fit and he doubled over nearly to the ground clutching his stomach and wheezing. With each second she got more and more self-conscious. Of course she couldn't wear what was basically pajamas to a fancy place, what was wrong with her. With a sigh she took off her boots and slid out of the leggings and switched them for her jeans, that she hated but whatever. Searching in vain for something that wasn't a graphic tee, or a business blouse she was half way through her closet when Jason recovered enough to notice what she was doing.

"No, put it back on, it's great, doll, I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing with you."

"I wasn't laughing," she said without emotion.

"Hey, come 'er." Much to her wiggling protest he pulled her tight against him and placed several loud kisses along her scalp.

"Everyone else will be in pj's I solemnly swear, in fact I was just about to change into my matching flannel set, someone amazing bought it for me, but I can't remember who," he said tapping his chin with mock thought.

"Really?"

"Cross my heart," he said, though his fingers were crossed behind his back.

"Ok," she conceded trying to get free. He held on for another minute before spinning her out away from himself and winking when she fell back onto the bed. Matching pj's in hand he headed to the bathroom, not for privacy but to send an urgant group chat explicity stating lounge clothes were to be worn.

See masterlist for more

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 11

chapter 20:

1. god, i’m glad to know this bridge plan is stressing sirius out too

2. i love sirius’ pure ANGER at how reg and james’ love story is broadcasted to everyone when sirius knows that they deserve privacy.

3. 😟😧 is peter going to be a

FUCKING RAT

IN THIS FIC???? FUCK HIM FUCK YOU FUCK ALL OF YOU!! I LOVED HIM!! WHY DID HE HAVE TO DO THIS??? NOOOOOO

4. 😡😡 PETER AND DEATHEATERS, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, ISTG

5. 😧 vanity noooo

6. 😟 hodge would have turned 15 tomorrow. and james just pushed him in the river. fuck, well, that’s something james is gonna think about forever

7. i am NOT gonna get over vanity’s death

8. reg’s knife throwing skills came into use and yikes. i wish it didn’t have to

9. (bad timing, but nonbinary mathias has my heart)

10. oh god. irene asked regulus to give her mercy and kill her. this. wow. this hurts in ways i can’t describe.

11. everyone is fucking dying, and james just got hurt, and reg is trapped on the other side of the river. jfc this chapter is wild

12. reg, you’re having a panic attack. i understand those. listen to me and jsut follow my voice and breathe with me, okay? in and out. 1…. 2…. 3…. 4…. good. breathe please. i wanna help so bad. please i wish i could help reg breathe.

13. god, it’s hurts that in sirius’ pov, he knows that this is the biggest breakdown reg has EVER had

14. sirius, don’t do something stupid

chapter 21:

1. 😧 THIS is how the plan is formed? sirius talking to slughorn about two victors making it out as long as they’re from the same district? wow. i was almost looking forward to the death pact, while also knowing it would be out of reg’s character (and james’) so it would be unsatisfying. i like this a lot, actually

2. dorcas leaving her home in the most ratty-ass pajamas to run four miles 😭😭 she’s still a queen to me

3. marlene’s reaction is heartbreaking, honestly

4. i love how there’s the line about dorcas caring for vanity and hodge. she cares. marlene asked her to, chapters and chapters ago. and dorcas cared. this hurts

5. 😟 regulus is so angry that he plans on avenging james with what i assume is the most torturous murder to others

6. !!!!! is reg about to take that hint from slughorn? does he realize james is alive?

7. HE REALIZES!!! THANK FUCKING GOD!!! THEYRE GONNA REUNITE AND HOPEFULLY HAVE NO TRAUMA FROM THIS HORRENDOUS DAY!

8. remus comparing sirius’ excitement about slughorn’s decision to a dog >>>>>>

9. “They watch with hope.” AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. sirius expects people to not listen to him, so he tells remus to just tune him out, but remus loves to hear sirius talk. <33333 they’re made for each other

11. sirius having worn a dress before and enjoying it >>>>>>>

12. “”Really, your body is a galaxy, and your scars are your stars."” (remus making sirius feel better about his scars) OH MY GOD!! this is gonna be my equivalent of atyd’s “you were beautiful”

13. remus’ shirt is off and sirius wants to cry over how gorgeous he is. (when i first had sex, i cried over how pretty my partner was. i do not judge sirius for this reaction)

14. the way remus gets his moony nickname in this fic, with his scars being compared to moon craters >>>>>>>>>

15. despite sirius wanting to have sex with remus, i love his decision to wait so he’s mentally in the right place for it. and i love remus’ treatment of sirius’ relationship to sex. that’s exactly what i, as an aroace spec person, needed to hear

16. i’m so fucking PISSED that the hallow took away sirius’ acceptance of pleasure. remus and i are gonna fucking take down the hallow for that

17. authors notes say that sirius is demisexual, and i am all on board. another demisexual!! me and sirius are twinning! i love this!!

[mistletouchunderthetree]

hello beloved #2 for the bed sharing prompts please<3

i'm so sorry this took a million years but here we go! click the title to read on ao3 or the fic continues under the cut!

i can't dare to dream about you anymore

Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson 2k words of humor and fluff <3

“Steve,” Eddie whined from the bathroom in nothing but his boxers, steam billowing around him.

Steve waited a few moments for the rest of the sentence but it never came. He huffed a laugh to himself. At the very least, playing designated driver for nights out with his friends could never be described as boring; even here at the apartment getting Eddie and Robin showered and watered and finally in bed could be entertaining.

“Yes, Eddie?”

There was silence, then Eddie made a hmm noise. He heard a squeak. Steve furrowed his brows.

“Do you need help with something?”

“Nope,” Eddie declared, popping the p. “Come look!”

With a sigh, Steve pushed off the hallway wall he’d been leaning against, directly in the middle of the bathroom, to keep an ear out for Eddie, and Robin’s room, where he would hear if she fell out of bed or started ralphing (there was a little trashcan next to her bed, but Steve was nice enough to hold back her hair if necessary).

The bathroom door was already cracked, but Eddie liked his showers to match the temperatures in hell, so walking into the bathroom was like entering a sauna. He cleared his throat. Eddie was standing, hair still dripping a little, in his “comfy” boxers, toothbrush in his mouth. Steve was impressed; he hadn’t even had to tell Eddie to brush his teeth. Maybe he wasn’t as drunk as Robin was tonight.

Then, Eddie giggled, booped Steve on the nose, and pointed at the steamed-up mirror. Steve looked. There, in the middle of the mirror, was a large dick, with a helpful “penis” written next to it in Eddie’s hand, in case one might be confused by the image.

“Penis,” Steve deadpanned.

Eddie giggled again.

Steve took it back. He was definitely just as drunk as Robin was.

“Alright, dude, there’s some water and ibuprofen on your nightstand, and I scooted your trashcan close to the bed, you should be good to go.”

“My hero,” Eddie hummed, his hands crossing over his heart. “What shall I ever do to repay you?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Take care of me next time I’m drunk and you’re designated driver. That’s the whole point of the system.”

“Ah,” Eddie breathed, “so humble.”

Steve rolled his eyes again and left the bathroom. He went into his own room to grab his own pair of underwear and a t-shirt to sleep in, but when he came out the kitchen light was on. He sighed and left the hallway.

Eddie was standing in the middle of the kitchen, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.

“Are you eating something?” Steve asked, appalled.

Eddie opened his mouth and garbled an incomprehensible word at him. Steve grimaced. Why the fuck did he have a crush on this idiot again?

“You’re disgusting,” Steve informed him, and Eddie gave him a morphed grin, the best his full mouth could do. “You literally just brushed your teeth.”

Eddie swallowed, eyebrows furrowed. “Oh, yeah.”

“Oh,” Steve repeated. “Yeah.”

Eddie let out a huff of laughter. “Oh well, I was hungry! Anyway, nighty-night, Stevie!”

Steve was genuinely unsure of whether or not Eddie was actually still drunk or if he was simply being Eddie, and he thought about it all the way to the bathroom, where he took his own nice, long shower.

He was drying his hair with his towel as he walked into his bedroom. He flipped the light on and jumped when he saw a figure already in his bed. The curls sticking out from beneath the blanket gave away which of his roommates had taken over his bed. He sighed, considered going into Eddie’s room and sleeping there, but then decided against it. He had the best mattress in the house (he’d brought it from his parent’s house when he moved out; it was probably the reason Eddie was in his bed in the first place) and he wasn’t giving it up that easily. With a resigned sigh, he turned on his lamp and flicked off the overhead light, leaving Eddie’s curls in a warm glow. Steve ignored the feeling of seeing Eddie in his bed and tried to act like this was a normal thing for two grown men to do.

He put a knee on the edge of the mattress and lifted the blanket. Little snores were already puffing out of Eddie’s nose.

“Move,” Steve said, keeping his voice quiet. Eddie didn’t stir. He huffed. “Eddie, move over or I’m coming in.”

Again, Eddie didn’t move from where he was sprawled in the middle of Steve’s bed. Steeling himself, Steve crawled into the bed, laying on his side because there was so little room. He tried to make himself comfortable but just kept brushing against Eddie’s warm skin and panicking, pulling back.

After a few stressful moments, he tentatively reached out and shoved at Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie was on his stomach, so he didn’t really budge. Steve pushed a little harder and then stopped when Eddie started mumbling.

“Wha’s happ-ning?”

“What’s happening is you’re in my bed,” Steve replied, losing his patience just a little.

“Okay,” Eddie sleepily said, his eyes never opening.

He still didn’t move.

“Eddie!”

Eddie finally opened his bleary eyes and Steve pushed through the warmth in his stomach at the sight. “Can you either get out of my bed or please scoot over?”

He paired the question with a little nudge to the shoulder. Eddie rolled, landing on his back on the other side of Steve’s bed. He watched, waiting to see if Eddie was going to get up or not. Eddie’s eyes closed.

“Guess we’re sharing, then,” he mumbled to himself, climbing in and making himself comfortable.

“Like your bed,” Eddie sleepily said, then yawned loudly. Steve cursed himself for finding it cute. “Smells good.”

Steve’s eyes widened and his body tensed, butterflies alive in his stomach. “Uh, what?”

But Eddie was already falling back into sleep, his snores starting only seconds later.

Steve sighed and reached over, turning off the lamp and blanketing the room in darkness. He closed his own eyes and tried not to think about Eddie right next to him so that he could fall asleep.

There was a light shining in Steve's eyes when he opened them, and the sleepiness clinging to him told him it had probably only been four or five hours since he'd fallen asleep. He wondered for a short moment what had woken him, but that was quickly answered by a rush of warm breath against the side of his neck, in the crook of his shoulder. A smile broke out on his face as memories of the night before hit him; himself, Robin, and Eddie at their favorite bar, his two friends drunk laughing in the car on the way back home, falling into his own bed with Eddie already asleep on the other side.

He turned his face toward the bed, toward Eddie, and he smiled at the bleary eyes and tangled hair next to him. The dredges of sleep seemed to still cling to Eddie's expression, and Steve licked his dry lips, breath catching in his throat as he watched Eddie's brown eyes dart down and follow the movement. Wordlessly, the corners of Eddie's lips began to curl up in a smile and before Steve could take stock of the fluttering in his gut, Eddie leaned forward, erasing the already small space between them, and pressed their lips together in a soft, chaste kiss. 

"Oh," Steve murmured, when Eddie pulled back. When he spoke again his voice sounded a little breathless. "That was– um, what was that for?"

"I– uh– fuck," Eddie mumbled breathlessly, blinking like he'd suddenly woken up. "I didn't even– I don't think I meant to do that."

'You didn't mean to?" Steve whispered, neither of their voices loud enough to leave the warm bed.

"No," Eddie replied, but that little smile hadn't left his face, and there was a brightness in his eyes that gave Steve a sense of security in this, whatever this was.

"Do you…" Steve trailed off, biting his lip. "Um– do you regret it?"

"Do you?"

"I didn't do anything," Steve said, a light laugh escaping his lips.

"Right," Eddie agreed, laughing himself. "Um. Yeah. Okay, um."

"Eddie." Steve laughed even harder. "You already aced the first kiss, you can stop being so nervous."

Eddie was quiet for a moment, glancing away and then glancing back. "Aced it, you say?"

Steve grinned. "Flying colors."

Eddie's cheeks were turning pink, and Steve couldn't stop smiling. "I didn't mean to."

"You said that already," Steve reminded him.

Eddie's cheeks turned even redder. "Jesus Christ, I have been dreaming about kissing you for years and I guess I just… I thought I was dreaming. So I kissed you, 'cause that's– that's what I'd do in my dreams."

"Wow," Steve huffed out a breath. "You sure know how to woo a guy, Munson."

Eddie's forehead landed on Steve's shoulder and he could hear Eddie groan playfully. He laughed and reached up, pushing a strand of Eddie's hair behind his ear.

"So are you willing to kiss me again, now that you know it's not a dream?"

"Oh my god," Eddie muttered, and now even his ears were red.

"Stop being all embarrassed and kiss me again, Eddie," Steve said, a little bit of a laugh in his voice. He felt more than heard Eddie sigh, and then a flash of movement, and then Eddie's lips were on his again. They fell into each other easily, trading soft kisses in the soft light of Steve's bedroom until–

"Not that this isn't great, because it is–" Eddie said, pulling away with a slick sound that just made Steve want to kiss him even more, "but I have to pee, like really bad right now."

Steve snorted loudly, shoving Eddie away and crawling out of the bed. "I guess I'll allow it."

Eddie giggled, fucking giggled, and pulled a strand of hair in front of his (still red) face. Steve thought it might be the cutest thing in the world, and he held a hand out for Eddie to take, pulling him not just out of the bed but right into Steve's own arms. Lanky arms wrapped around his waist and Steve turned his head, pressing a kiss to Eddie's temple.

"Okay," Eddie said, pulling out of Steve's arms, smile wide on his face. Steve grinned back. "I really have to go to the bathroom now."

Steve cackled, and Eddie ran from the room, and Steve watched him rush down the hallway only to run directly into Robin, who was exiting the bathroom.

"Good morning," she greeted both of them.

"Morning Robin!" Steve said loudly, awkwardly, and Eddie laughed.

Robin looked between the two of them, back and forth, eyebrows furrowed. Before she could say anything more, Eddie dashed into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

Robin's eyes landed firmly on Steve. "Dingus?"

"Yes?"

"Why is Eddie bright red–"

"Am not!" Eddie's voice came through the door. They both snickered.

"Why is Eddie bright red and you look like you won the lottery?" It seemed to click then, and she gasped and ran down the hallway, stopping directly in front of Steve. "Oh my god, did it finally happen?"

Steve grinned and glanced down at the floor. He thought his own cheeks might be turning their own shade of pink. "It might have." Robin squealed, then quieted when Steve slammed a hand over her mouth because oh my god, Robin, Eddie is right there!

"Steve!" Eddie's voice called from the bathroom, flinging the door open; Steve casually removed his hand from Robin's face.

"Eddie!"

"Come brush your teeth with me!"

Steve immediately pushed past Robin with a well what can you do shrug. He met Eddie in the doorway of the bathroom and ignored Robin's fake-vomiting noises.

"So," Eddie said, holding up his toothbrush with a glimmer in his eye and raising his voice so that Robin would definitely be able to hear from the hallway. "Are you a toothbrush sharer or…"

Steve closed the bathroom door behind him, drowning out the sound of Robin's groaning and leaning in toward Eddie, already ready for another kiss.

"By the way," he said casually between kisses, "if you use my toothbrush I'm breaking up with you."

Eddie laughed into their next kiss. 

[jewels-writes]

deception (part 3)

Warnings: nsfw, sex, cursing Word Count: 2,123 Fandom: Call of Duty Notes: THERE IS NSFW IN THIS PART! It will be labeled and you can skip it if you don't feel comfortable reading it. Nothing important to the story happens in it, so don't worry about missing anything. As always, my work is poorly proofread. Part 1 Part 2 — — — —

It was another week before everyone was cleared. You couldn’t begin to describe the relief you felt when the agent allowed you back into your own room. Though, all your belongings weren’t where you left them, you were back. 

You wasted no time searching for Price, going to his room first, nearly tripping over yourself in your haste. 

“John.” You called out breathlessly, looking up at him as he was reorganizing his room after the investigation. His eyes widened before looking over to you. You reveled in the way his features softened as he took a step forward, closing the distance and wrapping his arms around you. “I’m so glad this is over.” You murmured into his chest, your arms snaking up under his arms and around his back, your hands clinging onto the fabric of his undershirt.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He murmured, his lips in your hair as he took a deep breath. “How I’ve missed you.” His hands ran up and down your back, feeling the curve of your spine. His hands began to wander, untucking your shirt, his skin meeting yours.

“We shouldn’t.” You whispered, putting your hands on his wrists, pausing his advances. “Don’t give me that look, John.” You rolled your eyes as he pouted at you. “Later, I promise. I want to go see everyone first.”

“Fine.” Price sighed, putting his hands in his pockets, a more respectful option. “But I can only wait so long.” His voice hinted at his impatience. It had been weeks. Weeks without intimacy. Weeks without sex. He was antsy and god damn needy.

Just as you were about to respond, Soap knocked on the doorframe before poking his head around the opening, announcing his presence. “Hey, lovebirds.” He teased with a kindhearted tone. 

“Johnny.” You nodded to him with a knowing smile. “Is there something you need?” You asked, taking a step closer to the teammate you’d been separated from for far too long.

“Laswell wants to talk to us.” Soap’s accent shone through with his annoyance. “Not happy ‘bout it but..” His voice trailed off as he shrugged a nonchalant way. Price’s eyebrows furrowed at Soap’s reaction, something seeming too uncaring about it.

“Oh, lovely.” You retorted, visibly upset at the mention of her name. You were sick of seeing her, sick of being questioned by her. “Can’t wait to see what this is about now. Better be something better than an apology.”

Price placed a hand on your shoulder in an effort to comfort you and you looked over to him. “I’m sure she means well. Let’s go.” He said gruffly, stepping out of his room and leading the way to the meeting room. 

As you entered, Ghost and Gaz were already seated. They looked delighted to see the rest of their team, the time apart effecting them too. Sitting down next to Gaz, you did a small handshake with him, one you’d had since you joined the forces. It made both of you feel a little bit better about the situation.

As everyone took their seats, Laswell walked in, her expression unreadable. Following after her was Commander Phillip Graves, an annoying smirk on his face. You’d always had your reservations about him, something always felt off. You tried to tell yourself it was just that he was an American and that you came from different backgrounds. 

As Laswell reached the presentation board, she plugged in her laptop to the projector, showing her screen.

“As you all well know, you have all been cleared of suspicion. I formally apologize for any inconveniences caused by the investigation.” Her voice sounded fake, like her PR team was feeding her the words she spoke. “Moving forward, duty calls.” She motioned to the screen behind her. “The target is still at large, we need you to find him and bring him in for questioning. Which means we need him alive. Is that clear?” Her eyes leveled at Ghost, arguably the most brutal one of the group. He didn’t seem fazed by the sudden attention.

Your eyes darted to Price who sat across from you. He was already looking at you when your eyes met. He nodded once, a reassuring gesture. As Laswell continued her briefing, your attention turned back to her, absorbing every detail for the mission.

“You deploy first thing tomorrow. Be ready.”

— — — —

Leaving the meeting room and walking into the hall, it felt like a weight was being lifted off your shoulders. You’d finally be back in the field where you belonged. You knew your teammates weren’t spies. You’d spent years with all of them, knew everything about each of them. 

Looking back into the room, you made eye contact with Price, giving him a certain look. You knew he was aching for you, you’d seen it the entire meeting. He’d nudge you with his foot, clear his throat, anything to get your attention. As his eyes met yours, you could see how they flickered with a certain understanding. He knew what was coming in his near future. 

He said a few words to the rest of the 141 before striding over to you, his arm going protectively over your shoulders. The scent of his cologne filled your senses at his proximity. It only made you want him more.

“My patience has waned. I’ve got none left.” His tone was low and raspy, conveying just how much he was holding back. “My room. Now.” Your stomach flipped as his voice dropped an octave.

As the door shut behind you, Price made an effort to turn the lock, not wanting any interruptions. He’d gone long enough without you. For this moment, he wanted you all to himself.

!!! NSFW DO NOT READ IF NOT COMFORTABLE !!!

There was nothing gentle about his movements. His desperation showed as he pressed you against the door, the tightness in his pants rubbing against your thigh as his lips connected with yours. His hands roughly tugged at your shirt, his intentions clear. He wanted it off. 

“Fuck.. I’ve missed you..” He groaned as he let his hands wander along your now-exposed skin. “So fucking gorgeous.” He murmured against your neck, nibbling at it as his lips moved down to your shoulder. He couldn’t hide the arousal growing in his pants, how he was desperate to have relief for the growing, throbbing ache.

“On the bed.” He muttered against your skin, a hint of restraint in his tone. Yes, he wanted to fuck you, but he wanted you to feel good too.

He pressed your shoulders down onto the bed, one of his hands moving to undo the clasp of your belt, tugging it out of the loops in a single movement. In a few yanks, your pants were discarded on the ground in a heap, the belt and shirt beside it. 

Taking a moment, he admired your body, his hands trailing up and down your thighs, occasionally drifting up to your tummy before going back down. He could sense just how much you wanted this too. How your hips pressed into his hands every time they got close to where you burned for him.

“You’re teasing me.” You whispered, a hand coming up to cover your mouth, embarrassed about it. As the words left your mouth, he let his fingers dip dangerously close. Your thighs opened for him, an almost automatic action. You wanted him to go further, to go inside.

“I’d never.” He smirked, his hands pressing against the cloth of your last article of clothing, reveling in how you pressed into his touch. “You’re aching for me, aren’t you?”

You were too embarrassed to admit it, but you knew he was right. It felt like your body was on fire with anticipation. All you could do was nod quickly, biting your lower lip. 

“Sweet little thing..” He whispered, tugging at your underwear. He paused for a moment, looking up at you for consent. “May I?” He asked, making sure he wasn’t going too far. Yes, you and him had been dating for a while, but he never wanted to cross a boundary with you. Not ever, you were the most precious thing to him.

“Yes.” You whispered in a breathy tone. The sound of your voice, the needy tone under the breathiness made his body shiver with excitement. 

Almost with a painful slowness, he removed the thin cloth, throwing it to the side. You saw as his eyes flickered with desire. He reached for one of your hands and pressed it to his bulge, encouraging you to massage it while he ripped his shirt off.

“You’re being so good for me.” He murmured, pressing into your touch. Your hand never wavered, you knew what he liked, what made him feel good. 

Soon he was just as barren as you, his length throbbing with need, dripping with precum. Positioning himself between your legs, he teased your opening with his fingers, reveling in how you squirmed, desperate for his entry. Pathetically, you pressed into his touch, hoping he’d understand your nonverbal plea for more. His eyes flickered with recognition and maybe a hint of mischief.

“Need something?” He cooed nudging closer, his tip grazing against your hole.

“J-john.. Please..” Was all you could manage. Your back was already arched up against the bed as you felt him. 

His hands settled firmly on your waist, his thumb stroking you a few times before he pushed his hips in until they were flush with yours. It was a gentle, slow movement. It had been a while, he was sure you needed time to adjust to his size. He watched your face, looking for any signs of discomfort, satisfied when he found none.

“You take me so well.” He murmured, reaching a hand up to cup your cheek. His hips began to move again, this time in a rhythmic motion. Gradually, he built the pace up, unable to deny himself the pleasure he so desperately craved. The noises you made only encouraged him, he basked in the way he could make you feel this good.

After a moan that was a bit too loud, you brought a hand up to cover your mouth, not wanting anyone else to hear. With a low gutteral noise, Price grabbed your wrist, pinning your arm above your head, moving it away from your face. Looking up to him, you saw a bead of sweat trickle down his flushed face.

“Let them hear.” He grunted, pressing deeper into you. “Let them hear how fucking good I make you feel.”

!!! END OF NSFW !!!

You ended up spending the night in his room, the night never seeming to end. By the time you woke up the next morning, your entire lower half was sore as hell, but it wasn’t unbearable. The sound his alarm is what broke your sleep. 

Groaning, you nudged his shoulder, not wanting to reach over to him. Even though his chest was enticing as hell, you knew better than to get him all worked up before a mission.

“John.” You shook his shoulder again, causing him to stir. “Get up, old man.” You giggled, watching him blink his eyes open and throw his arm over to stop the alarm. Groaning, he sat upright, swinging his feet off the bed and rubbing his eyes. After a minute or two of waking himself up, he looked over his shoulder at you. You saw how his eyes widened and you looked down at your bare skin.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” He murmured as he reached a hand over to trace the bruises he’d left on you. It was a mix of his fingers and hickeys he’d put on your body in the act, but it made him feel guilty nonetheless. His eyes trailed up, feeling worse as he forced himself to count the number of them.

“You’re apologizing for making me feel good?” You shot a confused look at him, raising your eyebrow slightly. “John, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m gonna bloody worry about it.” He groans and rubs the bridge of his nose. “If anyone asks.. Christ, I don’t know. Make something up.”

“Our relationship is no secret.” You reminded him, a tinge of confusion passing over your features. Normally he didn’t mind if people saw the result he’d made on you. You weren’t sure what was so different about this time. “But.. If it makes you feel better, I’ll cover up.” His eyes met yours. He sensed that you noticed something was up but didn’t bother explaining himself.

“Let’s get ready for this mission.” He murmured, standing from the bed and reaching for his uniform, kicking his discarded clothes as he walked over to where it hung up. “I’ll see you on the transport.”

[sayosdreams]

Picture Us (Together Forever)

Word Count: 26,115

ACOTAR masterlist

__________

TW: mentioned past homelessness, mentioned past abuse, referenced death & suicide

__________

A/N: For @simpingfornestaarcheron, one year late. A huge thank you to @bookstantrash for all your help with everything from brainstorming to beta reading and editing! You're the reason I actually managed to complete this fic. Credit @vidalinav for the 'Cassian's love is loud' concept, which is so ingrained in his character for me that I always end up including it.

I know I haven't posted anything for over a year and a half — I've been busy with college and have gotten into other fandoms — but I hope this long, fluffy fic makes up for my absence. Honestly, it's probably the fluffiest thing I'll ever write of this length. Also, the number of blocks in this post exceeded the Tumblr post limit, so I edited the paragraph layout to fit. The original version is posted on ao3. Please enjoy!

Present day

“Hey, sorry I got a little late,” Nesta announced as she stepped into the apartment she shared with her boyfriend, Cassian. “I got held up at work because some people apparently think my job is to do everything,” she explained as she took off her coat and undid her scarf. “Eris now seems to believe that I’m a secretary and that it’s my job to deal with all the parents who want to sign their kids up for lessons or have questions about our hours. Can you believe that Vassa expects me to cover Eris’ class next Tuesday during my lunch break because he ‘has to be out of town to go apple picking’? And then, to top it off, Briallyn came to talk to me about how some people want the rehearsals for The Firebird to be at a different time. Just because I’m one of the principal dancers doesn’t mean I coordinate the rehearsal times! I don’t know why she doesn’t just talk to the director or choreographer, honestly. It’s so-”

Nesta turned around and fell silent, her eyes widening as she took in the sight before her. The living room was decorated with candles and flowers. Rose petals were lined up on the floor, creating a walkway that led to the coffee table, which was covered in a white tablecloth. Behind the table stood Cassian, wearing a wine-red colored button-down shirt, black pants, and a soft smile. 

“Cassian?” she asked, her confusion evident in her tone. Had she forgotten some important occasion? Nesta quickly ran through the list in her head. But, no, it wasn’t either of their birthdays, or their anniversary, or Valentine’s Day… So why had Cassian done all this? Sure, he had given her flowers ‘just because’ or organized impromptu date nights before, but this was on a whole different level. “What’s going on?”

Cassian’s grin split into an open-toothed smile, even as intensity and slight nervousness swam in his eyes. “Nesta, we met five years ago in the line for tickets to the Bone Carver concert, when you yelled at me for letting my friends cut the line. I turned around to yell right back, and the moment I did, my life changed. You’ve made my life so much better, in so many ways I can’t even find the words to describe. Every day with you is like a dream come true. We’ve made so many fantastic memories together over the years.”

He pulled the tablecloth off the coffee table in a sweeping motion. Nesta inhaled sharply as she took in the collection of polaroid pictures, recalling different special moments in their relationship. The collection was decorated with small doodles that Cassian had clearly drawn himself. 

She sank down to her knees in front of the table. 

“Cassian…” Nesta whispered, “This is beautiful.” 

Her eyes drifted across the paper, until they came to rest on a single photo. Her hand reached out as if she wanted to caress the image, but floated just a hair’s breadth away from it like it was too precious to bear her touch. 

Cassian kneeled down too, and glanced down at the photo she was looking at. He laughed, “Oh, yes. The bookstore date, where you used me as a human bookshelf.”

The corners of Nesta’s lips turned up. “Listen, I just wanted you to know what you were really signing up for.”

Cassian chuckled.

__________

Five years ago

“Where are you taking me?” Nesta asked for the sixth time. 

Cassian once again responded by shushing her, his eyes fixed on the road. 

Nesta sighed. Cassian had somehow managed to drive without using a GPS (a novel feat for him) so she couldn’t even peek at it to figure out their destination. Cassian clearly hadn’t considered how impatient Nesta was when he’d decided to plan a surprise for her. 

Nesta knew she should just sit back in her seat, relax, and enjoy whatever Cassian wanted to surprise her with, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t that she wasn’t excited — of course she was, and she was touched that Cassian had gone through all this effort just to plan a surprise for her. But Nesta couldn’t help but be filled with anxiety. She didn’t always react well to situations she was thrust into unexpectedly, and she wished she at least had a hint about where they were going so that she could prepare accordingly. She didn’t want to start freaking out and push Cassian away, destroying the tentative relationship they had just started to build. 

She trusted Cassian and knew he’d never intentionally put her in a situation that made her uncomfortable. They had met about three months ago and he’d asked her out soon after. Although they hadn’t made anything official yet, Cassian was always so caring and kind to her, more than any of her exes. He always made her laugh and brought her Earl Grey tea with just the right amount of 2% milk. He’d given her his scarf when he’d noticed that she was cold and had never asked for it back. He loved to play with her hair, creating intricate braids as his hands tenderly massaged her head. His body was honed from ice hockey training and he towered over her, and yet he had never once made her nervous or uncomfortable, even when they had been two strangers arguing in line. 

Still, there were many things that Nesta had yet to tell Cassian about. While his gentle sweetness was making her walls come down, bit by bit, she was struggling to open up fully. She didn’t want to risk scaring him away and ruining everything they’d created. 

All in all, she knew Cassian would never try to make her uncomfortable, but there were many things that could set her off that he didn’t know about. If she started freaking out, and she lost him… It was stupid of her to get so attached to someone so quickly. He wasn’t even her boyfriend, for gods’ sake! Only her closest friends knew they were together. They weren’t keeping their relationship a secret, exactly, but telling everyone would put pressure on their relationship that they weren’t ready for. 

Cassian’s best friend, Rhysand, was dating Nesta’s youngest sister, Feyre. The two of them had met on a dating app called Bond a couple weeks after Nesta and Cassian’s encounter. They’d fallen head over heels in love with each other, and had moved in together after just one month. Feyre kept texting the Archeron sisters’ group chat about how much she loved Rhys and how she wanted to marry him. 

Nesta and Cassian needed to take their relationship at their own pace — meaning much, much slower than Feyre and Rhys. If Nesta and Cassian made it official and then broke up later… well, Nesta didn’t want to have to deal with gossip and pitying glances whenever they were at the same place together on top of everything else. Plus, she knew her sisters were nosy romantics who would start asking about going on double dates, planning Nesta and Cassian’s wedding, and making lists of their future babies’ names. 

She couldn’t deal with all of that right now. When her last serious relationship had ended, she’d been left with bruises, a mountain of trust issues, and not much else. It had taken her a long time to put herself back out there again — to trust others with her body, much less her heart. Cassian had proved himself a worthy candidate, willing to be patient with her and put her at ease to help her let her guard down.

What it boiled down to was that she cared about him, far more than she probably should, and it scared the crap out of her. But she was even more afraid of losing him.

“Alright, we’re here!” Cassian’s voice cut through her spiraling thoughts. “Close your eyes.”

Nesta took off her seatbelt and did as he asked. Her heart beat erratically in her chest. She listened to the click of Cassian unbuckling his seatbelt and the boom of his car door shutting. A cold breeze hit her as her door opened. She felt Cassian’s large, calloused hand slide into hers, guiding her as she stepped out of the car. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked. 

“Mhmm,” she replied vaguely. 

A boom sounded, followed by a quick beep beep, indicating Cassian had locked the car.

“We’re almost there, I promise.”

He stood behind her and his hands came to rest on her shoulders, gently turning her to the right and then guiding her path. They walked in silence. Nesta was glad she’d thought to put on a sweater and a jacket as the chilly autumn wind swept past them again. 

Cassian suddenly stopped her and turned her body to the left. 

“Okay,” he said, leaning down to whisper in her ear. His breath was hot against her neck. She shivered. “We’re here.” 

She opened her eyes, and gasped. 

A blue sign with the words “Pegasus Book Company” hung above a blue-framed door. A bell chimed as she entered the shop. Pegasus Book Company was one of the hidden gems of Prythian. Despite being an independent bookstore, it was quite large and well-stocked in many different genres. They also displayed artwork from local artists, which they changed every season. Most of all, the owner, Helion Spell-Cleaver, was said to be amazing at giving book recommendations. Nesta had always wanted to visit Pegasus, but she’d never found the time to drive all the way to Hemera District just to visit one store. She had only mentioned it to Cassian once in the passing. She couldn’t believe that he’d remembered and done this for her. 

“Cassian…” She whispered, her voice full of awe and gratitude. She turned to find him with an uncharacteristically shy smile on his face. 

“Surprise,” he said softly. “Sorry that I made you wait to know where we were going. I wanted to surprise you, but I know I made you kind of nervous when I didn’t tell you where I was driving to. Is it ok? I’m sorry if it felt like I was abducting you. I just wanted to, uh, not ruin the surprise.”

Nesta couldn’t find the words to explain how happy his surprise had made her. Instead, she pressed her lips to his and let the kiss express her feelings. 

When they finally pulled apart, her lips formed a smile that she couldn’t suppress if she tried and she added a quiet and genuine “Thank you.” 

She hoped he could read the emotions in her voice and her eyes to understand how much the thoughtful gesture meant to her. His nervous ramble, while unnecessary given how fantastic the surprise was, just showed how much he cared about her. She didn’t know how to handle such affection and kindness. She felt as though she’d cry or melt or burst with everything he made her feel. He treated her as though she were precious and beautiful, worthy of compassion and care, like her company was a gift. As though she mattered.

Later, as he carried the numerous books she selected and listened attentively to her rants about different characters, books, and authors, she was overwhelmed by the pure joy she felt and some other emotion that it was far too soon for her to name. 

Cassian was special — she’d known it since the moment they’d met, when her sharpness had intrigued him rather than pushed him away. He was so perfect and amazing, and yet cared about her so much that she was still in disbelief. The dread that he would wake up one day and realize that she wasn’t worth the trouble was constantly present, and made her hesitant to give him her all for fear of him shattering her completely. 

But it was already too late. 

She wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all herself, by not putting a label on things. It didn’t change how much she cared about him or how she didn’t want to think about him ever leaving her life. It was only hurting her, and more importantly, him. Nesta knew that her fears and her trauma often made her struggle to express her emotions. She never wanted Cassian to doubt how much he meant to her. Yet, it always felt like Cassian was the one doing things for her: he was the one who had asked for her number, the one who usually texted first and planned their dates, and the one who gave her meaningful gifts and surprises. He never hesitated to show or tell her how much he cared. 

What if he didn’t know? She wondered suddenly. What if he genuinely thought that Nesta didn’t care as much — that their relationship didn’t mean as much to her as it did to him? The despair that the thought brought her was shocking in its intensity. 

So as Cassian sat down in the driver’s seat, ready to turn on the car, Nesta blurted out, “Wait!” 

He turned towards her, his face showing his surprise and concern. She acted instinctively, reaching over to pull his hands towards hers and then interlacing their fingers. She took a deep breath as she steeled her resolve. Cassian’s thumb slowly moved back and forth over her hand in a soothing gesture. He’d evidently noticed her nerves. His soft, silent support served to strengthen her determination that she had to do this. 

“Cassian, thank you so much for today,” she began. “It was such an amazing, thoughtful surprise. I really, really enjoyed it.” 

She paused, considering her next words.

“The past few months have been incredible. I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you. And I-”

“Wait! Nesta, please don’t,” Cassian interrupted. His body had gone tense and his eyes were dull in a way she’d never seen before. His hands had grown sweaty in hers. 

Nesta felt her heart drop. It was too soon, wasn’t it? Oh, gods, what had she been thinking? She’d misread the whole situation. If Cassian had wanted to put a label on their relationship, he would have asked. It was incredibly selfish of her to assume that she was the only one who’d had hangups about it. He would also be put in an awkward situation with Rhys and Feyre. And really, she and Cassian had only known each other for three months. Why had she thought that she should do this? As usual, she was ruining everything by moving too fast and being too intense. 

Cassian continued, his voice choking up slightly, “I know I can be- it can be too much, but I promise, I’ll- we can- this can be whatever you want. We can talk about it and I’ll- I can reel it in. I mean, I’ll respect your boundaries and, uh, wishes and, just. Please, we don’t need to end this completely, just- I-”

He cut himself off as Nesta untangled one of her hands from his. 

“No, wait,” he rushed, his eyes widening in alarm, “if that’s what you really want, then of course I’ll respect it, I just wanted- but- I mean, can we at least stay fr-”

He was cut off again, this time by Nesta’s pointer finger pressing into his lips. 

“Cassian,” she said, in a strong, confident, and reassuring voice, “will you be my boyfriend?” 

His expression morphed instantly, shock and joy flitting over his face.

Nesta waited patiently, sitting in silence, awaiting his answer. She watched as Cassian’s free hand moved to his thigh, which he pinched more than once. Finally, he met her eyes. His mouth was barely curved upwards, as if he was too astonished and emotional to form a smile. 

“Yes,” he replied. 

Cassian’s hand came up to rest ever-so-gently on her cheek as their lips met for a kiss. As they continued to get lost in each other, kissing in the middle of the day in a car parked on the side of a street, Nesta knew that this was what all those fairytales and romance novels were made of.

__________

Present day

“I can’t believe you actually thought I was going to break up with you,” Nesta laughed, shaking her head. “Right after I complimented you, too.”

Cassian shrugged. “It’s a foster kid thing,” he said lightly. “If someone’s being too nice, it just feels like they’re trying to let you down gently.” 

Nesta leaned across the table to press a kiss to his cheek in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture. 

“I’m never going to leave you, stupid,” she said. “You’re stuck with me forever.”

Cassian smirked. “I sure hope so.” 

His eyes moved left to the next polaroid and his hand followed suit, coming to rest right above the image. 

“Do you remember that day?” he asked, tapping his pointer finger on the table. “I was so nervous.”

“What? Why were you nervous? I was the one performing!”

__________

Five years ago

“Do you think the tie is too tight?” Cassian asked, pacing in front of the bathroom mirror. “Did I do it wrong? Fuck, do you think it’s too colorful for a formal event? Maybe I should change it to black?”

“Breath, Cassian, breath,” Azriel replied, half-serious. 

Cassian rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Az,” he pleaded.

“You look fine, Cassian. It’s going to go great. Don’t worry.”

Cassian was still fiddling with his tie. “And you don’t think the color is too much?” 

Azriel raised an eyebrow. “It’s burgundy.” 

Cassian continued to questioningly stare at Azriel.

Az sighed. “The color is fine. The tie is perfect.” He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair. “Let’s get going.” 

“Oh, shit, are we late?” Cassian scrambled to grab his suit jacket, his keys, and his wallet. Where were those flowers he’d bought? “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spent so much time worrying about my fucking tie.” He could have sworn he’d left them on the dining table, but that was empty save for the collection of books, papers, and notebooks that Azriel had organized into neat piles. Cassian checked the kitchen counters, only to find them empty, too. Had he put them in his room? He really needed to get more organized. They were already getting late, and he was going to further delay them. “You know what, just let me- You go ahead, I’ll catch up with you later, once I find the bouquet.” 

“Cassian. Cassian!” Azriel snapped his fingers. Cassian paused his frantic search to look at Azriel, who was carrying Cassian’s bouquet in his arms along with two others. “I’ve got it, see? Now, let’s go.” 

Before Cassian could open his mouth, Az added, “We’re not late, don’t worry.” 

As they entered Bryaxis Hall, where the performance was being held, Cassian expected to feel the last of his nerves disappear. 

As soon as he stepped inside, he realized how wrong he was. 

The hall was decadent. The ceiling was higher than a three-story house, the floor was marble with a simple yet elegant carpet running down the center, and Greco-roman pillars with intricate designs lined the hall. A chandelier hung above the grand staircase. The walls were decorated with high relief panels, each portraying a distinct myth or story. 

He followed Azriel up the stairs in silence. He was too consumed by the message every piece of architecture and decoration seemed to be yelling at him: he didn’t belong here. 

It wasn’t like he’d never been to a fancy party before: the NHL had plenty of galas, but even when he was surrounded by his teammates and friends, he always felt like a fraud in a suit. 

Cassian wasn’t meant for luxuries and refinement. He’d grown up dirt poor, even when his mother had still been around. After her death, he’d essentially lived out of a backpack. He’d even spent a few nights out on the streets when he’d been placed in particularly bad foster homes. Until he’d met Shirina, Rhysand’s mother, he had never even eaten chocolate — at least that he could remember. 

He’d only been to watch ballet once before. Shirina had insisted that they see the Nutcracker for Yule, as that had been a tradition in her family. Rhys, being the eleven-year-old that he was, had complained the whole way about being dragged there against his will. Ayla, Rhys’ younger sister, had grumbled about having to watch the Nutcracker again, instead of seeing something different like Swan Lake. Cassian had remained silent. At twelve, he didn’t want to admit that he was interested and excited, for fear of appearing uncool. Still, he was curious and was glad that Shirina had remained insistent despite her children’s protests. 

The ballet had enraptured him. He sat there, amazed by the graceful movements, the silent jumps, the whip-fast pirouettes, and the perfectly synchronized motions. 

Now, as he glanced down at the playbill, he felt completely unqualified to be here. He had no idea what La Bayadère was about — quite frankly, he wouldn’t even know how to pronounce it if Nesta hadn’t told him. He didn’t know any of the ballet terminology, either. How was he going to tell Nesta what he thought of the performance if he didn’t even know how to verbalize it? 

He glanced over at Azriel, hoping to gain some insight. Azriel was close friends with Nesta and two of Nesta’s ballerina friends, Gwyn and Emerie, who were also in tonight’s ballet. Right as Cassian was about to ask, the lights dimmed and the audience fell silent. 

Cassian worried whether he would be able to focus on the performance with all of his anxieties swirling around his head. Nesta deserved his full attention — she had been practicing for this for so long, and had poured her heart and soul into her ballet. There were so many times when she’d been late to dates, staying back in her studio to practice a move that she wanted to perfect. 

But Cassian needn’t have worried. The moment the ballet began, he was completely in its thrall. All his thoughts fled. He sat there, mesmerized, as the ballerinas danced. When Nesta entered, his breath caught in his throat. She was radiant on stage, looking like a goddess, a queen, and a warrior-princess all wrapped up in one. 

After the show, when he handed her the bouquet and told her how incredible she’d been on stage, her expression made it all worth it. Her cheeks, flushed with exhaustion, were rounded as her mouth split into a jubilant smile. Her eyes were awed, as if she was so grateful for his words and presence but couldn’t quite believe he was here. Despite all of his anxieties, he wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else. 

And as Cassian drove home, he realized he couldn’t wait to see Nesta’s next ballet performance. 

__________

Present day

“It really did mean the world to me that you came, you know,” Nesta admitted. “And I was so nervous about what you’d think.”

“Of course I was impressed! Anyone in their right mind would be.” His comment was light. There was no need to mention that Nesta’s ex, Tomas, had considered her job to be a ‘useless passion’ that ‘should only be a hobby’. Both of them knew Tomas was a hateful piece of shit who had done his best to drag Nesta down, and were infinitely grateful that she’d gotten away from him. 

Nesta shot Cassian a small smile before turning back to the pictures.

“Oh! The snowball fight!” She snorted. “Don’t show this to Rhys and Az, we don’t want to remind them.” 

Cassian rolled his eyes, grinning. “They’re big babies.”

__________

Five years ago

Nesta turned around, startled, as someone tapped her shoulder. 

She had been shoveling snow for the last thirty minutes in the dim light of the rising sun. Normally, she loved lying around in bed on snowy days. She was content to sit inside, drinking hot chocolate, watching the world through the window and feeling as though she had been transported inside a snow globe. One of the few perks of living in an apartment was that she didn’t need to shovel snow. 

Last night, however, she had stayed over at Cassian’s townhouse. Cassian’s roommate, Azriel, had gone out, presumably to spend the night with someone. Nesta considered Az to be a friend, but he was extremely private; she had no idea if he was seeing someone, let alone who that someone might be.

Nesta turned around. 

Cassian was standing there, arms crossed, with one eyebrow raised. “Nesta, why didn’t you wake me up?” 

Nesta rolled her eyes and turned back around to keep shoveling. “You’re sore.”

She hadn’t expected to wake up to snow piled up almost five centimeters on the ground. It was the first snow of the winter, and she wanted nothing more than to watch the snow fall from the warmth of Cassian’s bed, curled up against her boyfriend. 

Then, she recalled the numerous bruises and cuts on Cassian’s body that she��d tended to yesterday. He had gotten thoroughly roughed up at his game, though when she’d remarked on it, he’d just laughed and replied that this didn’t even count as getting injured in ice hockey. Still, she’d seen him wincing as he reached to the left when he thought she wasn’t looking. 

So when she’d seen the snow this morning, she’d decided that, instead of going back to sleep, she would shovel the entire walkway and driveway before Cassian woke up. 

Clearly, she’d failed. 

“I’m fine!” Cassian replied, just as Nesta had anticipated. “I’m not-”

Nesta cut him off by shushing him. 

She had a little less than half the driveway left to shovel. She was adept at the art of ignoring someone trying to talk to you: after all, she’d grown up with two little sisters. So as Cassian continued to complain that he was not actually hurt and tried to convince her to hand over the shovel, she just tuned him out and focused on her task. She was making pretty good progress, in her opinion. Sure, her fingers were a little cold even in her gloves, but the desire to keep going and not let Cassian help at all motivated her. The spite kept her warm. 

She was almost a third way done when she heard coughing. She stopped abruptly and turned to Cassian, who was wiping snow off of his face.

Her eyes widened. “Oh my gods! I’m so sorry!” 

Cassian just laughed. “What, you didn’t mean to cover me in snow?”

He leaned down and grabbed a fist full of snow. “Let me show you a faster way to get rid of all this snow, sweetheart.” Nesta barely had time to duck before the snowball flew in her direction.

Abandoning the shovel, she ran away from him. Then, she made her own snowball, which she hid in her hand as she smiled at Cassian innocently. He smiled back and walked towards her until- Wham! Her snowball hit him square in the chest.

Nesta cheered. 

He gasped “Betrayal!” 

As she dodged his next snowball by a hair’s breadth, she stuck her tongue out at him. 

Her cold dissipated as their snowball fight continued. The progress she’d made on the driveway and walkway had definitely been ruined, but she found that she couldn’t care less. Twenty minutes later, when they went back inside, covered in snow, both of them were grinning ear to ear. 

It wasn’t until after they’d showered, changed, and were sipping hot chocolate that Cassian exclaimed, “Shit!” 

His drink sloshed, spilling out of his mug. Nesta took a large sip of her hot chocolate — it really did taste divine with marshmallows — and looked at him questioningly over the rim of her mug.

“You can’t tell Rhys,” Cassian pleaded. “He wouldn’t understand. We need to keep this a secret.”

“What, that I had a snowball fight with my boyfriend?” Nesta answered incredulously. 

Cassian’s face, however, was completely serious. “Yes.” 

“I wasn’t planning on telling him,” Nesta said, struggling not to laugh, “but now I’m curious to see what’ll happen, so…”

“No!” Cassian’s eyes went wide. “You see, every year, when it first snows, Rhys, Az, and I have a snowball fight. It’s a tradition we’ve had for years. If they find out that I had a snowball fight with you first…” Cassian shook his head, as if the possibilities were too horrific to even consider.

“So basically, you cheated on them with me?” A drop of hot chocolate spilled over and ran down the side of Nesta’s mug. She caught it with her finger, which she then brought to her lips.

Cassian’s eyes followed her finger. His Adam's apple bobbed as her finger left her mouth with a pop.

“I, uh, yeah.” He cleared his throat. 

She smirked. “Well, I haven’t told them, but I did tell Gwyn and Emerie in our group chat when they asked what I was up to, so Az is definitely going to find out.”

Cassian groaned, putting his face in his hands. Nesta just continued sipping her hot chocolate, laughing quietly.

__________

Present day

“They’re definitely going to hold that against us forever,” Cassian sighed. “They were so mad. That whole winter, I had to watch my back. They just kept pelting me with snowballs whenever they got the chance.” 

“It was hilarious,” Nesta grinned. Then, catching Cassian’s look, she corrected herself. “I mean, it was very terrifying.” She tried for a serious expression but failed, erupting into laughter.

Cassian rolled his eyes, but she could see the smile he was trying to suppress.

“You know what else they’re going to hold against me forever?” Nesta pointed at the polaroid right under the one they’d been looking at. “This. I think I almost gave them heart attacks.”

“Oh, yes. Now, that was hilarious,” Cassian agreed.

__________

Four years ago

Vroom.

Nesta pulled up to the front of the lane, right as the light turned red. Sighing, she raised her face shield. 

She turned to the right, glancing absently at the car in the lane next to her. It was a black Mercedes-Benz, the same car Rhysand owned. As she looked through the rolled-down driver’s seat window, she realized that it was literally the same car, because Rhys was the one driving.

She called out to him, and he turned towards her — then did a double take.

“You- wha- how are you driving Cassian’s motorcycle?” Rhys spluttered. 

Azriel’s head peeked out behind Rhys’. They sported matching shocked expressions, complete with comically wide eyes, raised eyebrows, and parted lips. 

Nesta smirked. “It’s quite easy, actually. I wasn’t sure how I’d do, since I’d never driven a motorcycle before but,” Nesta patted the handles, “she’s a smooth ride.”

That was not what they’d meant by their question. 

Cassian had always dreamed of owning a motorcycle. After going through his finances and realizing that he could afford one now without stretching himself out too thin, he’d finally bought one last week. 

The motorcycle was his prized possession and he was fiercely protective of it. He took the time to polish it after each ride, checking to make sure there wasn’t a single scratch on his treasure. Rhys and Az had been begging to ride it ever since he’d gotten it, but he’d starkly refused, claiming they were both too irresponsible. It was laughable, because Azriel was easily the most responsible member of their trio, but even he wasn’t allowed to do more than look at it. When Az had run a single finger across the paint, Cassian had pulled him away, declaring that Azriel was being too rough and that he clearly hadn’t thought about how the oils from his fingers would interact with the materials on the bike to shorten its lifespan. Azriel had pointed out that the motorcycle was meant to be ridden, but Cassian had ignored him. 

Of course it made sense that Cassian would be so overprotective of his motorcycle. He had never had many possessions. He hadn’t ever owned more than one pair of shoes until he was thirteen, when Shirina insisted on getting him snow boots and dress shoes. He’d replied, “But my sneakers still fit,” confused, and grew even more confused when Shirina wrapped him in a hug in response. 

A motorcycle was something he’d never realistically imagined being able to afford. He’d look at magazines and at the seniors who’d pull up to high school in the Harvey-Davidsons that their fathers had bought them, thinking about what kind of motorcycle he would have wanted if he’d been born to rich parents who were still alive. Now that his wildest dream had become reality, he would guard it to the best of his ability.

He knew that Rhys and Azriel would treasure it as well. They knew that he loved the bike and would never do anything to intentionally harm it. Yet, they had both grown up with money. They didn’t understand the instinct Cassian had to protect the little that was his, because they had grown up with so much to claim as their own. To them, possessions were replaceable. Despite the wealth Cassian had gained, he could never shake off the memory of being a child curled around a backpack as he slept on the street instead of covering himself with it for warmth because he was afraid it would get stolen. 

So when Cassian had casually offered to let Nesta try riding it, she was shocked to say the least. 

“Are you sure?” she’d asked about a hundred times, but his answer never changed. When she’d admitted that she had never ridden a motorcycle before, he had just replied, “I’m honored to be your first,” with a wink. He then took Nesta, who was blushing and rolling her eyes, outside to teach her the basics. 

“Alright,” he said with a clap, twenty minutes later. 

Nesta got off the bike, assuming he wanted to return it to its position in the garage. 

“Want to take it for a whirl?” he said instead.

She spun around to face him. “Really? But I… I wouldn’t want to damage your motorcycle. I know how important it is to you and, well, are you sure you want me to ride it?”

Cassian just shrugged, smiling. “No pressure, of course, if you’d rather not ride a motorcycle, but I’d love for you to try.” Something shifted in his eyes as he said, “I’d love to share it with you.”

Nesta blinked. She had grown up very differently from Cassian. She’d been born into a wealthy, upper-class family that later lost its wealth when her father got laid off and her mother fell ill. The medical bills piled up as her father searched in vain for work during a recession, and once her mother passed away, her father fell into the arms of alcoholic depression. Luckily, Nesta had enough training and experience by that point to gain a scholarship to her ballet school. 

So while Nesta had experienced poverty, it was never in the way that Cassian had. She could only understand Cassian’s desperation to hold on to his possession on an intellectual level. 

She didn’t know why he would trust her with something so precious.

“Of course I trust you,” Cassian added, as though he’d read her mind. He kissed her on the forehead, as if to say ‘you’re precious to me’. Nesta closed her eyes. 

“Um,” she whispered, then cleared her throat to continue in a stronger voice, “I’d be honored.” Then, she glanced down at the dress she was wearing. “Maybe tomorrow?” she added.

Cassian laughed that hearty, deep laugh that always made her heart clench. “Can’t wait, sweetheart.”

So here she was, the next day, riding Cassian’s motorcycle. She’d been sure to dress more appropriately in her leather pants, jacket, and boots. She asked Cassian to confirm that her outfit was ok, just to make sure. He hummed approvingly as she spun around.

He then sat her down, and put on her elbow pads and knee pads on her. If it had been anyone else, she would have complained incessantly about being treated like a child; because it was Cassian, who touched her so tenderly as he adjusted the straps, she couldn’t feel anything except gratitude and joy. 

“Ready?” He asked as she sat down on the bike. She gave him a thumbs up as he took a step back, gazing as though he was an artist who was looking at the tableau he’d painted. Dressed all in black, atop a black motorcycle, Nesta felt like she cut quite the figure. She felt powerful, as though she could do anything. 

She turned on the engine and was about to get going when Cassian shouted, “Wait!” and ran over to her. She paused, looking up at Cassian as he ran over to her and lifted her face shield. 

He kissed her, hard, and she melted into it. When he pulled away, she sat there for a moment, dazed. She brought a hand to her lips and continued to stare at Cassian. His parted lips were dark red, stained with her lipstick. 

She took a deep breath, blinking a few times to regain her focus and dispel all the images of a naked Cassian from her mind. She pulled down her face shield, revved the motorcycle, and set off. 

“But- how did you get Cass to agree to let you ride his bike?” Azriel asked, astounded.

Nesta shrugged, grinning. “What, like it’s hard?”

She zoomed off as the light turned green, leaving Rhys and Az in the dust with their mouths hanging wide open. 

__________

Present day

“I’ll cherish that moment forever,” Nesta laughed. 

Cassian grinned back at her, then pointed to a picture in the bottom row. 

“You know what I’ll cherish forever? This one.”

Nesta looked at it and sighed. “Great, now mine seems shallow. Why do you have to be so kind and thoughtful?”

“I’ll try to stop.”

“That would be much appreciated.”

__________

Four years ago

Cheers filled the rink.

“GO DRAKON!” yelled the girl sitting right next to Nesta.

Emerie, who was sitting on her other side, held back a hissing Nesta by grabbing both her shoulders. 

“That was ridiculous,” Nesta said through clenched teeth. “Why isn’t the ref saying anything? That was definitely a foul!” 

“It was a beautiful goal,” Rhysand corrected.

Nesta’s fiery glare turned to him and he withered as she snapped, “Whose side are you on?”

It was Nesta’s first time being at Cassian’s game. Of course, she’d seen his games on TV before, but both of them had agreed that she should wait before attending a game and being in the presence of all his fans and the media. Now that they had been officially dating for over a year, they’d both felt it was time. Nesta’s best friends, Gwyn and Emerie, had decided to accompany her. They had both claimed that they just wanted to watch the game, but she knew that they really were there to provide her with moral support.

Sadly, Cassian’s team — the Velaris Ghost Leopards — was currently losing 4-2 to the Adriata Sirens. Nesta, who never followed ice hockey closely until meeting Cassian, had been yelling up a storm as passionately as any long-time die-hard Ghost Leopards fan. They were about halfway through the third period and any hope that the Ghost Leopards could win was slowly disappearing. Especially as Jurian Zbirak, the Sirens’ center, passed discreetly to Varian Ulwandle, the left winger who was famously good at scoring. 

“I can’t watch,” Gwyn grimaced as Varian got past the Ghost Leopards’ defenceman, Andras Lupo. The crowd held their breath as Varian took the shot and- 

“Saved!” Emerie yelled as Rhysand let out a whoop. 

Thesan Vu, the Ghost Leopards’ goalie, had managed to save it beautifully.

Nesta gasped loudly as Kallias Neve, the Ghost Leopards’ center, took the puck and skated forward. Unfortunately, the other team’s defense was extremely strong, and caught sight of him almost immediately. Kallias cut sharply to the left, but the defenseman Eris Vanserra quickly shifted positions to block him. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” Nesta chanted. Emerie was biting her nails anxiously next to her and Azriel was covering his mouth with his hands.

Kallias tried to deke Eris by feigning left and then cutting right, but Eris had seen through his tricks and was about to steal the puck when- 

Nesta jumped out of her seat. “Look!”

Kallias had managed to trick Eris after all. He’d drop passed the puck to Cassian, who was now zooming towards the goal. By the time Eris and Devlon Lyons, the other Sirens defenseman, realized and headed for Cassian, it was already too late. 

Nesta held her breath as Cassian got into position, took the shot and- 

“He scored!” Nesta cheered at the top of her lungs. 

Her throat was definitely going to be sore tomorrow but she didn’t even care. 

She watched as Cassian lit up with glee and his teammates congratulated him. This was why she cheered so hard, why she cared so much about the sport. It wasn’t as though she’d magically become obsessed with ice hockey when she’d met Cassian. No, it was the joy that the sport brought him and the way he put his heart and soul into it — giving it his all at every game, every training, every play — that made her passionate about it. Cassian worked so incredibly hard at hockey and it was such a big part of his life. How could something so important to him not be important to her, too? 

Cassian’s eyes locked on hers. Nesta froze. 

He brought his left hand to his lips and blew her a kiss. 

The crowd went wild as Cassian’s fans assumed he’d blown it to them. But Nesta could only sit down, dazed. She didn’t know why she felt so shocked that her boyfriend had blown her a kiss. They’d done far more than kiss, for gods’ sake. Perhaps it was because it had been in front of everyone, like Cassian was declaring his affection for her publicly and showing that he wasn’t ashamed of being with her. Or maybe it was the fact that he’d thought of her in the middle of a game, as though he never stopped thinking about her, even when he was singularly focused on ice hockey.

Emerie elbowed Nesta in the ribs and stage-whispered, “Your face is red, you know.” 

“Shut up,” was Nesta’s dignified response.

With five minutes left in the period, the Sirens held control of the puck.

“Are they just wasting time, trying to run out the clock?” Nesta huffed. “That’s fucking ridiculous.”

Drakon Aliyev — the Sirens’ right winger — kept passing back and forth with the Jurian and Varian, barely moving forward. 

“C’mon!” Rhysand jeered. 

Suddenly, with thirty seconds left on the clock, Jurian sped forward. He weaved between Ghost Leopards’ players, dodging and deking them. 

Twenty seconds. 

Andras closed in on Jurian, but Jurian back passed to Drakon right before Andras caught up to him. Drakon skated past them, zigzagging to avoid the other players who attempted to catch up to him. 

Ten seconds.

As Lucien — the Ghost Leopards’ other defenseman — moved in to body-check him, Drakon made eye contact with Varian, who had skated forward and was completely open. Drakon turned towards Varian, leaning his left shoulder down to pass to him.

Five seconds. 

Lucien shifted to guard Drakon’s right side, blocking him from passing to Varian. 

Four.

Drakon turned his hockey stick, which was on the left of the puck, to position it behind the puck, and aimed at the goal. Lucien scrambled to move back to his previous position in front of Drakon. 

Three. 

Drakon’s stick hit the puck, taking a strong shot. It flew through the middle of Lucien’s legs, headed straight towards the goal.

Two. 

Thesan shifted his stick and crouched down, moving into position to block the puck. 

One.

The puck landed on the ice a hair’s breadth in front of Thesan and slid through the small gap between his stick and his foot, straight into the goal.

Zero.

The crowd erupted into cheers and shouts. 

Nesta was chief among them. “What? That’s crazy! The puck was not completely over the line before the buzzer! Why the fuck are they counting it?” 

“It actually was,” Rhysand replied. “Wasn’t it an amazing buzzer beater, Az?”

Nesta was fuming. “What? Were you even watching the game? About a third of the puck hadn’t crossed the line! Don’t you agree, Az?” 

Az looked between them with wide eyes and then wisely chose to say, “Hey, why don’t we try to go catch Cassian before he has to go to the changing room?” 

Nesta was still grumbling as they walked up to where Cassian was talking to his teammates.

Azriel tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around, his disappointed frown turning into a friendly smile. Then, his eyes landed on Nesta and his expression softened. 

Nesta peered up at him and sent him a small smile. But a second later, she resumed her muttering, hissing under her breath, “I can’t fucking believe the refs don’t give a shit about the Sirens’ blatant cheating.”

Rhysand, who was standing right next to Nesta, groaned loudly. Cassian raised an eyebrow at him. “This one,” Rhys began, tilting his head towards Nesta, “hasn’t stopped complaining about the Sirens and the refs.” He rolled his eyes, exasperated. “They didn’t fucking cheat, Nesta. They won. Just accept it and move on.” He turned to Cassian with a glance that said ‘urg, can you believe her?’ 

Unfortunately for Rhysand, he was not met with the sympathetic backup he’d anticipated from Cassian. Instead, Cassian’s face split into a huge grin that only widened when Nesta retorted, “Well, it’s true! I swear the puck wasn’t fully over the line when I heard the buzzer. The refs were definitely biased, because they called the Ghost Leopards’ offsides in period 1 but not any of the Sirens’ fouls!” 

He let out a breathy laugh as wonder and joy lit up his eyes. He enveloped Nesta with his arms, burying his smile in her hair. 

Time froze.

Their eyes closed like camera shutters as they stood still, taking in the moment and committing it to memory. They were both silent, too overwhelmed by the intensity of their emotions.

An eternity later, Cassian broke the silence, whispering “Thank you” into Nesta’s neck. He let her go, but not before pressing a kiss against her cheek.

__________

Present day

“You know, it meant the world to me to see that you defended me so fiercely.” Cassian’s tone was sincere but still light, as one could only be with those whom they’d been vulnerable with many times before. “To know that you cared so much about me… well. It’s not like no one cared about me before, you know, obviously I had Rhys and Az and stuff, but I still struggled with really believing that people could care about me — that I could matter to people. That moment… Of course it didn’t completely ‘fix’ me,” Cassian made air quotes with his fingers, “but I think that’s when it really clicked and I realized that you felt the same way about me that I felt about you — that I mattered to you, too.”

Nesta swallowed, realizing that she was choking up, which was extremely uncharacteristic of her. The closest she usually got to crying was when she read about fictional characters, and even then she almost never felt tears welling up as they were now. 

“I love you,” Nesta answered quietly. It was the truth, plain and simple. “You matter to me, and you always have.”

“I love you too,” Cassian answered. His hand reached out to cover hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

A moment later, he pointed to another polaroid in the bottom row. 

“This one was next, right?”

“Yeah,” Nesta said, her eyes twinkling as she reminisced. “Those views were so worth it, but damn, I don’t think I’ve ever been as tired and sore.”

Cassian smirked. “Oh really? Not even-”

“Nope,” Nesta interrupted with a smirk of her own.

Cassian blinked, as though her reply had genuinely shocked him. Once he recovered, he answered, “Well, we’ll have to change that, won’t we?” 

He winked. 

Nesta rolled her eyes, but brought a hand to cheek to cover what she assumed was her rather obvious blush. 

__________

Four years ago

“Are you sure you don’t need to drink more water?” Cassian asked again.

“Yes, Cassian, I’m just as sure as I was when you asked me two seconds ago,” Nesta replied, a small smile on her lips despite her slight irritation at his repetitive questioning. Nesta would never in a million years admit that she liked Cassian’s coddling, but in truth she did enjoy knowing how much he cared. 

They’d decided to get away from the city for a week to go on the backpacking trip they’d been talking about for months now. Miraculously, Cassian’s off-season had aligned perfectly with Nesta’s and they intended to make full use of it. 

Initially, they had considered inviting some of their friends and family to join them on a hike to a different location, but after Nesta’s argument with Rhysand over reproductive freedoms dissolved into an intense shouting match with personal attacks, Cassian had decided to limit the trip to just the two of them. He’d hoped to give them some space from each other to help them cool off. 

There was also an additional reason he had decided not to invite anyone else — most notably Rhysand — that he hadn’t told Nesta. The day after the row, Cassian had gone to see Rhysand, hoping to help clear the air. Instead of being regretful and guilty, Rhysand had been stubborn, claiming that Nesta was the only one who needed to apologize. He called Nesta a “vicious bitch”, saying that he didn’t know why Cassian would want to be with such a “fucked up person who clearly had way too many issues” and “only wanted Cassian for the money and fame”. When he laughed, “The sex must be really good for you to put up with her,” spitting out the last word as though Nesta was the scum of the Earth who wasn’t even worthy of being named by Rhysand, Cassian had exploded. 

He’d completely lost it, snarling and hurling insults at Rhys. He’d yelled that Rhys was clearly so insecure that he couldn’t accept when he was wrong and had to tear others down to try to fix his fragile ego. 

“Maybe you want to pretend you’re perfect because you don’t know how to love people, flaws and all,” Cassian had hissed. “So yeah, Nesta might have some ‘issues’ but so do I. And guess what? That’s fine. We still care about each other, for real. Unlike you, we don’t feel the need to lie about who we are. At least our relationship is real and is based on honesty and truth.” 

It had been a low blow, to allude to his previous relationships. Rhys had dated Amarantha, a wealthy actress and politician’s daughter, at his parents’ request back when Rhys’ dad, Hadrian, was still running the conglomerate called Night Court Corporations which was later passed down to Rhys. This had been both a PR stunt, which showed rivals just how strong and influential their family was and distracted the media from Ayla’s underage drunk driving, and a way to gain Amarantha’s father’s support in giving Night Court Corporations a tax break. Their relationship had been faker than Amarantha’s tan. 

His only real relationship before Feyre had been with Carmella, a girl who worked at a coffee shop he used to frequent, although calling it ‘real’ was a stretch, as Rhysand had lied to her about his family and his past. They had dated for almost a year, and Az and Cassian had met the poor girl numerous times, but Rhysand had insisted that he would keep being ‘Reese, son of an office worker’ when he was with her in order to avoid ‘getting used’. 

So yes, the comment had been mean and Cassian had felt slightly guilty about it, despite it being true. 

But then, Rhys had retorted, “Real? Please, Cassian, I can’t believe that you can’t see through her! She doesn’t ‘care about you’ or whatever, she only cares about the money, just like everybody else like her!”

Cassian’s eyes had narrowed and he’d slowly bit out, “Like her? What do you mean by that?”

His eyes had flashed with rage and pain, because he’d known exactly what Rhysand meant. 

His suspicions were confirmed when Rhys’ expression had twitched. He’d meant people who weren’t as famous, as well-to-do, as wealthy. People who didn’t have a trust fund or a summer house or extra cars. People who couldn’t take vacations or make big purchases without saving up first. People who couldn’t say ‘money isn’t a problem’. People like Nesta who had to have side jobs in addition to their main one just to be able to afford rent in a city like Velaris. And people like Cassian, for whom even food and housing and safety had never been a guarantee, let alone new clothing or vacations. 

Rhysand had just implied that Cassian had never cared about Rhysand or Shirina or Ayla or Hadrian. That Cassian had only been with them for the money and that all the love he had for them was fake. 

Rhysand stayed silent.

Cassian repeated, “What do you mean, Rhys?”

“Look, I didn’t mean to offend you. It wasn’t about- I’m just trying to help you! She doesn’t actually care.” At Cassian’s murderous glare, he amended, “And even if she does, she doesn’t deserve you! I’m just trying to rescue you, man.”

“Rescue me?” Cassian laughed, coldly. “I’m not some semi-homeless kid anymore. I don’t need a fucking hero to save me. Maybe you want to think I’m some helpless victim because you can’t stand the fact that I’m finally happy and I don’t need you anymore. How are you going to feed your savior complex now?”

Rhysand scoffed, glaring down at him as though Cassian were a peasant and he were a god. It only served to fuel the cold flames of Cassian’s anger.

“Or maybe you don’t like that I’m succeeding,” Cassian said, his voice quiet and dangerous. “You don’t like that I’m rich and famous and I did it all on my own. I worked hard and got here and I’m only gonna keep rising. Who are you gonna look down at now to remind yourself just what a special little boy you are?”

Rhysand rolled his eyes. “Rich? Please, Cassian, you’re doing okay, but you could never be as rich as me. And all on your own? Need I remind you that I gave you a house and food and clothes? I paid for your hockey gear and for chauffeurs to drive you to games. You worked hard, sure, but so did I. We’re the same, so stop trying to act like you’re any better than me.”

“Aww, did I hurt your fragile little ego?” Cassian pouted mockingly. “You know that you didn’t do any of that, right? Shirina and Hadrian paid for all those things. And yes, they helped me, but at least I got my job because of skill and hard work. You got yours because you were born a boy. We’re not the same and we’ll never be.”

“You’re right,” Rhysand replied coolly. “We’re not the same. I don’t know why I ever bothered to pretend otherwise.”

Cassian had stormed out, tossing a “By the way, it’s called a taxi, not a chauffeur!” over his shoulder as he exited.

Admittedly, it had not been his best comeback.

After that incident, Cassian had decided not to speak to Rhys for a while, let alone invite him on any trips.

As they hiked up the hilly landscape, Cassian was grateful he’d decided to spend this time alone with Nesta instead. Somehow, the whole trip felt so much more meaningful with her by his side, like this was a glimpse at the life they were building together. 

“Gods, my legs are definitely going to hurt after today,” Nesta mumbled as they hiked up an especially steep section.

“Are you okay? Do you want to take a break- or should I carry you?” Cassian hurriedly replied. 

Nesta just laughed, staring pointedly at his backpack. “Literally how?”

Cassian gestured to his front. “You doubt my strength?”

“Yes,” Nesta teased, sticking her tongue out at him before speed walking ahead. 

“Wait up!”

Each night, they shared a tent. Despite starting out in sleeping bags on separate mattress pads, they always ended up cuddling together, supposedly for warmth. A couple nights in, Nesta figured out how to zip their sleeping bags together to create a single larger sleeping bag, whispering “Oh no, there’s only one bed!” as she did so. 

Every morning, Cassian would wake Nesta up with a kiss to her cheek. She’d always scrunch her face and groggily mutter, “No, don’t do that, I’m disgusting.”

“You could never be disgusting, sweetheart,” Cassian would reply, prompting Nesta to open her eyes only to roll them at him. 

When they finally arrived at Windhaven Overlook, their destination, they spent a day admiring the views and having a small picnic. 

“Thanks for bringing me here,” Nesta said, resting her head on Cassian’s shoulder. “It means a lot that you’d want to share this with me.”

Cassian kissed her forehead in response. 

He had been to this spot only twice before, but it was still one of the most important locations for him. 

The first time, Enalius had brought him here. Enalius was a man close to Cassian’s heart. They’d first met when Enalius approached Cassian, whose face was glued to a window, watching an ice hockey team practice. Cassian had snuck into the skating rink for warmth and to use the vending machines and the water fountains, but had let his guard down, enthralled by the skaters. 

“Are you spying on them?” were the first words out of Enalius’ mouth. 

“What? NO!” Cassian had tried to run, but Enalius clasped his shoulder with a strong arm. 

“Really? What team do you play for?”

“I don’t play hockey!” 

At that, Enalius had frowned. “Really? That’s a shame. I think you might be good at it. Why don’t you ask your parents to sign you up for a class sometime?” 

Cassian’s eyes had dropped to the floor. “No, that’s okay.”

“C’mon, now,” Enalius had tried again. “I’m sure you could be better than those boys in no time.”

“I’ve never even skated before.”

Enalius raised an eyebrow as Cassian furiously backtracked, realizing that he’d basically admitted he’d snuck in. 

“Uh, I mean, I’ve never skated in, uh, hockey rinks with, uh-”

Enalius smiled. “Don’t worry, kid.” He looked Cassian up and down once more and sighed, “Are you sure you don’t want to give it a try? You’ll never know what it’s like until you give it a go.”

Cassian shrugged.

“Well, if you ever think you want to, just tell the lady at the counter over there that Enalius Ramiel told you to sign up for a lesson with him, okay? And get your parents to sign all the release forms and stuff.”

“Oh, they, uh, can’t do that.”

Enalius cocked his head. “Should I talk to them? Don’t worry, lessons aren’t actually that expensive, and I’ll give you a little discount.”

“No, um, you can’t talk to them,” Cassian mumbled uncomfortably.

Enalius took a step back. “Sorry kid, didn’t mean to pressure you. Lemme know if you ever want me to talk to your parents or anything.”

As Enalius started to turn around, Cassian was suddenly caught by a panic and blurted, “You can’t talk to them ’cause they’re dead.” 

Enalius froze. 

“Oh,” he said after a moment. “I see.” 

He studied Cassian’s face for a moment and then grabbed his hand, power-walking towards the check-in counter. They cut to the front of a long line of people as Enalius flashed a badge.

“Hey, Val, can we book rink 3 for a private lesson?” Enalius asked the lady at the counter with a grin. 

“Sure, when do you want to schedule it for?” 

“Now.” 

Val raised her eyebrows. “Now? Are you joking?” 

Enalius shook his head. 

Val just sighed. “Fine, but I don’t think the ice has been refreshed in a while. Also, it’s booked after 5:30, so you’ve got a little less than an hour.”

“Thanks, Val, you’re the best.” Then, he turned to Cassian. “What size are your feet?” 

“Um… 6?” Cassian guessed, rounding up a size from his current too-small sneakers. 

“A pair of size 6 hockey skate rentals, too,” Enalius added. “Put it all on my tab.”

Then, he leaned in to whisper something Cassian couldn’t hear, which made Val sigh, “Oh, Ali, I hope you know what you’re doing.” 

The next hour had changed Cassian's life. He’d started out wobbling, barely staying vertical and walking instead of skating on the ice. By the end, he was gliding effortlessly, skating around and in between the cones Enalius set up. He fell in love with ice skating. 

So Cassian returned, day after day, getting free private lessons from Enalius, and he soon became enamored by ice hockey, too.

Enalius became Cassian’s mentor, not only teaching him hockey but also buying Cassian snacks or dinner and making sure he got back safely. It was Enalius who later introduced Shirina, his childhood friend, to Cassian, further changing his life.

It wasn’t until much later that Cassian learned what a famous and successful hockey player Enalius was. Enalius remained Cassian’s coach right until he joined the NHL himself.

There were few people who were as important to Cassian as Enalius. And that was why this place that Enalius had brought him to years ago was so special to Cassian. 

Shirina, Hadrian, Rhysand, and Ayla had decided to go abroad and travel alongside some cousins during fall break. Enalius had overheard Shirina hesitating about leaving Cassian home alone for the week and had offered to take him on a trip of their own. Cassian, who had never been on a trip as far as he was aware of, was ecstatic and it did not disappoint. It became one of Cassian’s best memories.

The second time he came to this spot was after Shirina’s death. Rhysand and Ayla had been inconsolable, each grieving in their own way: Rhysand never spent a moment alone, as though he could bury his feelings in the high of socializing and parties, while Ayla barely spoke or even left her room. Hadrian was trying his best to keep it together, but was clearly in way over his head — managing the children and their emotions had always been Shirina’s department, not his. Luckily, their extended family had flown into town to help them all. Friends and acquaintances had reached out, trying to find ways to support them through all the grief. 

Cassian, who couldn’t really be classified as a friend or family to Shirina, had been overlooked. It wasn’t like he expected anything different, but watching everyone comforting each other and ignoring him hurt. It was as though he had no right to grieve — to be this hurt by her death — and maybe he didn’t, but she had been the closest thing he’d had to a parent since he’d been 5 years old. He’d loved her, too. No, he wasn’t her child, but he was something to her, even if it couldn’t be labeled so easily. 

Now she was gone and whatever they had been was erased. It didn’t matter that he’d used his first paycheck to buy her a birthday present, or that she had attended all his home NHL games, or that they’d often go on walks together. It didn’t matter that she always knew when he needed a hug or that she’d taught him how to cook. 

Cassian had decided to hike to Windhaven Overpass to get out of his own head. 

The journey had helped him to process his emotions. The sunsets and the plant life around him had seemed far more beautiful that time, reminding him of how much Shirina had loved nature. At night, the stars seemed brighter than normal, and he recalled Shirina explaining to him that in her culture, stars were considered to be ancestral and guardian spirits looking down at you and guiding you. 

Cassian felt like Shirina had been there, watching him from the sky and reaching out with a comforting hand as he struggled. That trip, he had gotten angry and laughed joylessly and sobbed. He’d felt empty and about to explode at the same time. He had gotten to be something different from the strong, smiling version of himself that he usually presented to the public. In the end, the trip had helped him find some sort of closure and peace with Shirina’s death.

Now, Cassian had brought Nesta here.

He had told her about his prior trips with Windhaven and what the location meant to him, but actually bringing her here was a sign that Cassian was willing to be vulnerable with her. 

He had always feared people would leave him and that he was replaceable, and worried about tainting such a special place with memories of someone who would later leave his life. 

And yet, Cassian had brought her here.

“This spot is important to me, Nes, and so are you,” Cassian said. “Thank you for coming. It’s my honor to be here, with you.”

He didn’t say: ‘I’m not worried about bringing you here because what we have is different — it’s meant to last.’

He didn’t say: ‘You’re the only person I’ve ever cared about enough to let myself be vulnerable like this with — you could destroy me, but I’m willing to take that chance.’

He didn’t say: ‘I love you.’

And yet, that was what they both heard.

__________

Present day

“I knew you were in love with me the second you invited me on that trip,” Nesta smirked. 

“Sweetheart, I was gone for you way before then,” Cassian laughed. 

“That’s true,” she grinned. “You had an embarrassingly massive crush on me for the longest time. And you must’ve loved me a whole lot to let me get away with making Rhys grovel like that.”

“First of all, get your facts straight: I still have an embarrassingly massive crush on you,” he replied. “And secondly, well, Rhys deserved it and also it was really entertaining to watch.”

The day after they’d gotten back, Rhysand had sent Cassian and Nesta a long message, asking them to meet up so that he could apologize in person. Nesta decided that they should talk to Rhys separately. 

Cassian went first. Rhys apologized profusely for all the names he’d called Nesta, for all the things he’d implied about Cassian, and for all the insults. Cassian in turn apologized for his part, and the two of them had a chat in which Rhys admitted that he’d acted like an entitled prick and that he was genuinely sorry. They made up and quickly forgave each other, like the pseudo-brothers they were.

Nesta and Rhysand were an altogether different story. Rhysand apologized to her as well, but she answered that while she accepted his apology, she could not forgive him so easily. 

She understood that he didn’t like her, and that was his right, but she also felt that he couldn’t try to make claims about her character when he barely knew her. She told him that she was perfectly fine with having a tepid relationship with him where they would only speak when strictly necessary or that they could try to get to know each other better. Rhysand went with the second option. From there, they went on to have many long discussions. Once they’d gotten a bit closer, Nesta returned to their original point of contention: reproductive freedoms. She made Rhys listen to podcasts and read articles and watch videos about what reproductive freedom really was and why it was so important. “You don’t have to change your opinion,” she’d said, over and over. “You just need to be informed before you try to make claims about what others should or shouldn’t do with their bodies and their lives.”

It was only months later that Nesta finally stopped putting him through the wringer and told him that she’d forgiven him. 

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Cass. It definitely was all for your entertainment, no other reason at all for us to argue,” Nesta replied dryly.

Her eyes drifted to the polaroid in the bottom right corner. “Now that,” she pointed, “that was entertainment. What a show!” She licked her lips and batted her eyelashes exaggeratedly. 

“It was completely staged, of course,” Cassian joked. “The whole thing was just for your pleasure.”

Nesta raised an eyebrow. “My ‘pleasure’?” 

“My, my, what a dirty mind you have, Nesta!” Cassian fake-gasped. “A proper gentleman would never imply something so improper to a lady like yourself.”

“A proper gentleman? Where?” she retorted without missing a beat. 

He clutched his chest. “You wound me, m’lady.” He shook his head. “And to think, I was your knight in shining armor that day…”

“More like knight in very little armor.”

__________

Three years ago

Plunk.

They watched, immobilized by shock, as the necklace drifted below the water’s surface. 

It fell slowly, until it became only a vague shadow in the water.

“Nesta?” “Nesta, are you ok?” 

Voices faded in and out of Nesta’s awareness. She tried to force herself to smile, to nod that she was completely, totally fine. Unfortunately, she seemed to have lost the ability to control her body. 

It was so, so stupid. She’d been having such a wonderful day. And now, she’d ruined it.

Cassian and Azriel had prepared a group trip to Ravennia Park, complete with a lovely picnic lunch in the field of blooming daffodils. Cassian had even made sure to include all her favorite foods in the lunch. Afterward, they walked around the park, stopping occasionally to take pictures or listen to birds. 

They had stopped on this small bridge so that Feyre could take pictures of the glistening lake and the paddling of ducks that had just entered the water. Nesta had leaned over the railing, chatting with Cassian as she watched the colorful koi fish swim.

Her necklace had snapped suddenly, tumbling into the water before anyone could react. 

Her silver necklace, which her father had given her for her eighth birthday, disappeared under the surface of the lake. Gone, just like her middle school best friend, Clare Beddor, who had drowned herself in a pool. Gone, just like her father.

Until her mother got sick, Nesta had had an amazing relationship with her father. She would sit next to him, listening intently as he explained how trading and shipbuilding worked. She was always the one to run and open the door when he came home from work, enveloping him in a hug. She loved it when he read her bedtime stories and watched her dance around the living room.

Then, everything changed. Her illusion that he could do no wrong broke when her mother told her that the reason she wasn’t getting better from her illness was that they couldn’t afford good doctors and medicine since her father had lost his job. After that, Nesta’s resentment only grew as the misfortunes piled up. Her mother died and they couldn’t afford the funeral that she’d wanted. Her sisters had to change schools. They moved into a smaller house, with a bedroom that all three sisters shared. They struggled to put food on the table. 

When her father decided to sell art instead of looking for another job, saying he couldn’t rely on others to give him work, Nesta fumed. How could he sit there, carving wood and drinking beer, while Feyre worked overtime at her job in addition to school and she and Elain did all the cooking and cleaning? Nesta had vowed to leave as soon as she could, and, it turned out, that ballet allowed her to leave the nest sooner than expected. 

Still, she’d felt guilty leaving her sisters to fend for themselves in that house, and then felt even angrier at her father for not taking care of them and putting Nesta in a position where she felt guilty for following her dreams. 

Suffice to say, Nesta had a difficult relationship with him — one that was made all the more complex when he died of a sudden heart attack. 

It had taken Nesta a long time to process and make peace with his death. 

She’d decided to wear the necklace her father had given her today, in honor of his birthday. Once upon a time, she had worn this necklace all the time, showing off the token of her father’s affection. By putting it back on, she felt like she was healing a teenage Nesta, who had violently taken off her necklace at her mother’s funeral and shoved it into the drawer of her bedside table. 

And now, it was lost forever. 

“Nesta?” 

Cassian’s voice cut through her haze and she lifted her eyes to see his worried expression. He brought a finger to her cheek, caressing it softly. It grounded her, bringing her back to the present, but she didn’t react — couldn’t react — more than just blinking at him dazedly. 

Cassian took a deep breath. He grabbed the back of his t-shirt and removed it in one smooth motion, his pants quickly following suit. Before Nesta could process what was happening, he climbed over the railing and plunged into the lake. 

Nesta could only cling to the railing, shocked silent for a new reason as she waited, praying to all the gods she barely believed in that his head would emerge from the water. 

She tried to dispel all the fears that swam around in her mind, taunting her about the dangers of the lake. The water plants that could ensnare even experienced swimmers’ feet and drown them, the animals that could bite and eat him, the sharp rocks that could injure him, the current that could pull him under — the possibilities were endless.

Cassian’s head emerged from the water and she felt her heart unclench, just for a second, until he disappeared once more. 

This jerked Nesta out of her stupor. 

“Cassian,” she called out. “Cass! What the fuck are you doing? Get back here! ” Her voice grew increasingly panicked as there was no response. 

“It’s dangerous, are you insane? Cassian? Cassian!”

Her shouts only stopped when Cassian surfaced. His broad shoulders and defined abs glistened in the sunlight as drops of water rolled down his chest. The bun his hair had been in had come upon, and now his dark, wavy-curly mane was streaming down his back. His brown skin was slick with water and drops clung to his long eyelashes. She couldn’t stop herself from noticing that he looked exactly how she’d imagined a merman to be. 

Her lips parted as he stepped out of the water. She forced her eyes away from his soaking wet underwear that clung to his body, defining every inch of it. Her gaze fixed on his chest instead. She knew she should be focusing on Cassian’s face or the necklace in his hand but he was so fucking distracting. Soaked Cassian was criminally delectable. 

“Nesta?” 

Cassian’s voice was worried, probably since Nesta still wasn’t speaking.

“Nes,” he whispered, gently tilting her head upwards with a finger under her chin. 

Their eyes met. Cassian’s concern was wiped off his face and was instantly replaced by a smirk.

“Lost your tongue, sweetheart?” he teased.

Though she had indeed lost the ability to speak, she would not give him the satisfaction of admitting it. No, she would play his game and beat him at it. 

She licked her lips slowly. She tilted her head back to expose the column of her throat while she swallowed sharply, knowing how it drove him crazy. Cassian made a low noise in the back of his throat, as though he was trying and failing to suppress a groan. Then, he put his arms on her shoulders, turning her around. 

“Lift up your hair,” he whispered into her ear, sending shivers across her body. 

She did as he requested. He put the necklace back on her neck, patiently working the tiny clasp. His fingers brushed her neck, and even the cold silver of the necklace couldn’t cool the heat that spread within her. When the necklace was securely fastened, she turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

She took a moment to look deep within his eyes. 

She would have to yell at him later for risking his life for a piece of jewelry, but nonetheless she appreciated what he had done. He was one of the only people who knew that she had a fear of deep water due to its association with Clare, and was also the only person who knew what putting this necklace back on meant for her. Yes, it was only a necklace, but he had also saved her from reopening the wounds of her complex relationship with her father and her past self. 

So she kissed him, knowing he would understand every conflicting thought and emotion that she pressed against his lips. And when his hand came up to support her neck, she knew that he was answering ‘I’m here for you, always.’

__________

Present day

“I knew you were objectifying me,” Cassian pouted mockingly.

Nesta nodded. “Oh, for sure. You’re nothing but a sexy hunk to me.” 

She leaned closer to him. “That’s why I said I love you first.” She tapped the picture in the top left corner. 

Cassian rolled his eyes. “How long are you going to hold that over my head?”

Nesta hummed as though she were seriously contemplating the issue. “How about… forever?” 

Cassian’s eyes sparkled and his mouth twisted around, as though he were trying to hold back a grin. 

“Urg, fine,” he said. His attempt to appear annoyed failed completely as he sounded more amused than anything else. “As long as you know I loved you first.”

It was Nesta’s turn to roll her eyes in mock annoyance, despite knowing that he was likely correct. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

__________

Three years ago

It was the final match of the Alfheim Ice Hockey Championships. If the Velaris Ghost Leopards managed to beat the Hybern Hydras, they would win the Fionn Cup for the first time in history. 

The game was extremely close, with both teams tied at 2-2, though not for lack of trying. The Hydras were playing atrociously dirty by anyone’s standards. They had already received numerous green and yellow cards, but it didn’t seem to deter them from continuing to foul the Ghost Leopards. 

Nesta cheered as Andras blocked Keir Hewn’s attack. Lucien swept in, stealing the puck from Keir, and passed it across the ice to Cassian. Cassian bluffed and wove his way through the Hydras’ defensemen. 

“C’mon, Cass, c’mon,” she chanted, her hands clasped together. 

Beron Falls raced to block Cassian, but Cassian passed the puck to Kallias just in time. Kallias dribbled the puck expertly. 

“Please, Kallias, make this shot,” Rhys implored from the seat behind Nesta’s. 

Kallias skated towards the goals, and lifted his stick to shoot. 

Then, the ice erupted in shouts, the umpire blowing the whistle continuously. 

“What just happened?” Gwyn asked but no one had an answer to give her. Nesta just sighed, dropping her face into her hands until she felt Elain tugging at her shoulder. Her eyes followed Elain’s pointed finger to see the jumbotron showing a replay. Andrew Amaranth, the Hydras’ left winger, had come up to Kallias from behind. He grabbed his stick and kicked the back of his calf with the blade of his skates, causing Kallias to fall. 

“What the fuck is wrong with him?” Nesta shouted.

“He’s actually unhinged,” Azriel agreed. 

The umpire called for a yellow and a ten-minute time out.

“It should be a red card,” Gwyn hissed and Nesta loudly agreed. 

The game continued in such a fashion, with the Hydras playing as dirty as possible without getting red cards. 

The game was still tied with five minutes remaining in the third period. 

“We can’t go into overtime,” Azriel muttered to himself, “All our players are getting tired and they’re bound to actually get injured from these fouls.”

“Better overtime than a loss,” Rhys replied.

Nesta looked down at her hands. Her nails had been bitten down to the nub over the course of this game. 

Winning the Fionn Cup was a lifelong dream of Cassian’s. He had worked hard for this. He’d given his life to this sport for years, training every day for hours on end, no matter how tired he was. He studied strategy, honed his body, and worked with his team to figure out how to play into everyone’s individual strengths.

But it was more than that. 

In many ways, the sport had also saved Cassian. It had given him direction and a sense of purpose at a time when he’d felt lost. It had given him a team, when he’d only ever felt alone. It had provided him an alternative to the path he’d thought he was destined for — a path that led to nothing but more despair, where he would just get by, numbly passing through every day and surviving by the skin of his teeth. Ice hockey had opened up a whole new world for him and allowed him to dream of a different future for himself. It had given him hope, showing him a way out of the cycle of sadness that he’d imagined he would be trapped in forever. 

The world had once branded him as useless, as broken, as less than nothing. As he was tossed around from foster home to foster home, sleeping on the street among the trash, the word worthless sank deeper and deeper into his skin. 

Ice hockey was the hand that had reached out and pulled him to his feet, getting him off the ground, out of the shadows and the litter and the endless despair. It had dusted him off and pulled him into the light, where he could get warm and grow and sparkle as he was meant to. 

Now, Nesta wanted the world to acknowledge that Cassian was a champion. She wanted the world to know they’d been wrong to ever dismiss him as anything less than magnificent. She wanted him to win the Fionn Cup and stand proudly in the spotlight, knowing the world now looked up to him. More than anything, she wanted him to know that he was worthy, that he was precious, that he was important. 

“Oh, fuck, yes!” Azriel shouted. Nesta would have raised an eyebrow at him — the ever-brooding, silent and mysterious Azriel — shouting so enthusiastically, if she hadn’t been so caught up in the game.  

Kallias had stolen the puck from Dagdan Maeve and was racing towards the goal. Just as he crossed the center line, the Hydra’s defensemen, Beron and Nolan, closed in on him. Nesta watched as Kallias attempted to fake them out, then made a sharp turn to get away from them, all to no avail. Beron finally caught up to him and moved to steal the puck. With Nolan guarding Kallias’ other side, there was nowhere for him to move, no space for him to pass.

“Oh, I can’t watch,” Rhys hissed, wincing. 

Nesta pressed her lips together, hoping for a miracle, when suddenly the puck disappeared. Kallias had somehow managed to pass it through the narrow gap between Beron and Nolan’s sticks and had hit the puck with such strength that neither of them could move to stop it in time. Cassian received the pass and skated towards the goal. Beron, Nolan, and even some of the forwards moved to stop him, but Nesta knew they wouldn’t make it in time. Not when Cassian was speeding forward, moving like the wind as he skated across the ice. 

Nesta leaned forward in her seat as a feeling swelled up inside her. It was a mix of anticipation, nervousness, hope, fear, pride, and something else — something that made her feel like her heart was in her throat and made her pray that Cassian would score but know she would be there by his side no matter what happened. She had been feeling it for so long now, but had never voiced it — never put words to the feeling for fear that it would shatter the precious thing they’d built. But now Nesta knew it wasn’t something that could be so easily destroyed. No, it didn’t matter if Cassian won or lost, or even got injured. It didn’t matter if Cassian got traded to a team in a different city or Nesta had to switch ballet companies. No matter what, through the ups and the downs, they would be there for each other, helping to shoulder the emotional load. 

As Cassian's hockey stick hit the puck, Nesta wondered why she had been waiting so long when it was so clear what this feeling was. If she was being honest, she’d known it when Cassian dove into the water for her necklace, had known it when he’d brought her to Windhaven, had known it even the first time she’d sat in these seats, cheering Cassian on as he played. 

Cassian’s love was loud. It was in the romantic dates he planned, the surprises and gifts and hugs he showered her with, the weekends when he could sleep in but woke up anyway to make her pancakes. No, he hadn’t said the words either, but his protective arm around her during dinner with his friends and the vulnerable look in his eyes as he prepared a fusion meal that combined their cultural cuisines said all that was needed. 

Nesta’s love was quiet. It was in the fridge restocked with Cassian’s favorite foods, the ways she tended to his injuries after a match, and carefully planned meaningful gifts for his birthday. No, she hadn’t said the words, but she knew that he knew how she felt. 

But now, as the puck flew towards the goal, Nesta wanted to love just as boldly as Cassian. She wanted to show the world how lucky she was to be with him, but more importantly, she wanted Cassian to feel how much she cared about him. She wanted him to know that she was proud to be his. For him, she’d shout their love from the rooftops. She’d give him the whole universe if she could, because the world had been so unkind to him and yet he’d still managed to become the most incredible person in it. She could only offer him her heart, however, and hope that he would find it worthy of keeping. 

The puck grazed the goalie’s glove and Nesta held her breath. The goalie stretched out his fingers to grab it but it flew past him. 

“GOAL!” 

The entire stadium erupted into screams. Cheers of pure joy came from the Ghost Leopards’ side, louder than ever before. Nesta watched as Gwyn, Azriel, Elain, and Rhys jumped up and hugged each other.

Nesta could only stand up in silence, too consumed with her feelings to utter a single sound. For what sound could encapsulate this all-encompassing joy and pride? She looked down at the rink. Cassian’s teammates were all piled up around him in a massive group hug. And in the middle of it all, Cassian was there, beaming. His eyes lifted and met hers. She was grinning, wider than ever before in her life, and lifted her hands to make a heart. 

Cassian’s eyes turned huge. He took a deep breath. 

Perhaps he would have responded in kind, but he was obstructed from Nesta’s view as another teammate jumped to hug him and then the coach yelled at them that the game was restarting. Cassian shot Nesta one last, loaded glance before skating back to his position.

It was all a blur after that. The last few minutes of the match passed without any change.  Both teams’ offenses and defenses were equally matched, and the puck passed between them with no chances to score. When the buzzer rang out, everyone sprung to their feet. 

Nesta cheered, not giving a shit that her voice would be hoarse the next day with how loudly she was screaming. Azriel was jumping up and down like a child — she’d never seen him so overtly joyous. Rhys had tears of joy pouring down his cheeks. Gwyn and Elain were hugging. 

After the awards ceremony, all the interviews, and a rowdy celebration with the team, Cassian finally joined them. 

The second they caught sight of him, they rushed towards him. All five of them reached him at the same time and jumped on him, crushing him as they hugged him and showered him with compliments and congratulations.  

Cassian laughed boisterously. 

“I can’t believe it! I’m friends with a Fionn Cup Champion,” Gwyn gushed.

“Oh, so now we’re friends?” Cassian teased.

Gwyn answered with a playful shove that pushed Cassian back toward Azriel. Az wrapped his arms around Cassian, trapping him.

He pressed a kiss to the side of Cassian’s head as the latter squirmed. 

“Sorry Nes, I’m keeping him,” Azriel joked, tightening his grip as Cassian tried to shake him off. 

“Take him,” Nesta grinned. “He snores.” 

“I do not!” 

Cassian’s protest went ignored.

“Hmm,” Azriel pretended to muse. “But then I could have a real-life Fionn Cup Champion in my room. The price of the noise-canceling headphones will be worth it.”

Nesta shrugged. “I’d be surprised if he fit through your door, now that his ego is going to get even bigger.” 

“True, true. I’d hate for his massive head to break my roof.”

“Hello? I thought you’re supposed to be nice to Fionn Cup winners,” Cassian pouted.

Gwyn laughed. “Nice? Cassian, it’s like you don’t even know us.”

“I can be nice,” Rhys protested.

Everyone proceeded to burst out laughing.

“Okay, fine,” he acquiesced. “I’m a demon just like the rest of you.” 

“That’s right,” Nesta grinned. “Accept your true nature and join our pit of darkness.”

Gwyn laughed evilly, “Mwahahaha!”

Nesta lifted her left hand, which Gwyn promptly high-fived. 

“Okay, anyway,” Elain interrupted, “Cassian, are you hungry? You must be tired after that amazing game.”

“Wow, thank you for being so considerate, Elain,” he said, extending her name pointedly. “I am actually pretty hungry and tired and sore after the game.” 

He turned his head to glare at Azriel, who was still holding him.

Az merely rolled his eyes. “Aw, poor baby. Does the little Fionn Cup Champion have a boo-boo?”

“Maybe he needs Nesta to kiss them better,” Gwyn suggested, not bothering to hide her smirk.

“Are you gonna tend to his wounds?”  Rhysand asked. “Nurse him to health?”

“I guess that depends on what it is that he’s hungry for,” Nesta replied with a wink.

They all burst out laughing a second later.

“Wow, you’re all so immature,” Cassian sniffed. “Elain is the only person fit for polite company.”

Rhysand glanced around. “What polite company?”

“Oh, no,” Azriel exclaimed. “We’re blaspheming! Now that Cassian’s won the Cup, we have to refer to him by his proper title: His Highness Sir Cassian of Illyrian.”

“I’m so sorry, my Lord,” Nesta added with a curtsey. “Please, forgive our disrespect.”

“Regency romance,” Gwyn fake-coughed into her elbow. 

“Of course, m’lady,” Cassian winked, “you’re forgiven. Although you may have to be punished for your transgressions.” 

Azriel pretended to gag. “Please, save the foreplay for the bedroom.”

“My poor, innocent ears,” Rhysand groaned. “I’ll never recover.”

Nesta turned to him. “Right, because you’ve never made out with my baby sister in public.” Then, she smirked. “Although, maybe you are innocent if that was too much for you. I mean, how vanilla are you?”

“Cassian,” Elain interrupted. “Do you want to go eat dinner at a restaurant or something?”

“That sounds amazing! How about the Greek place on 10th Avenue?” Cassian replied.

“Oh fine,” Rhys rolled his eyes playfully, “We’ll get food.” 

“I am actually really hungry, too,” Gwyn agreed.

“Well, if Gwyn is hungry, then we gotta go eat now!” Nesta declared.

Azriel nodded, his expression serious.

Cassian sighed. 

“I’ll meet you guys there,” Cassian called out as he walked towards his car with Nesta, “Or not. It’s also fine if you get lost on the way.” 

Azriel responded by raising a choice finger. 

The mirth was still in the air as Nesta closed the car door on the passenger’s side. 

“I can drive if you want,” she joked as Cassian slammed his door shut. Nesta was a notoriously reckless driver. She hated driving unless she had to, and Cassian loved driving, so it usually worked out perfectly. 

He laughed. “I appreciate the offer, but I’d like to live.” 

The car got quiet as the laughter faded. It filled instead with an intimate intensity.

Cassian turned slightly to buckle his seatbelt. 

Nesta reached over and placed a hand on his cheek. Cassian inhaled sharply and lifted his gaze to meet hers. Her thumb caressed his cheek. 

“Cassian,” she whispered. She knew the look in her eyes said it all already, but it had said it for so long and she’d never once let her tongue speak it. But Cassian — brilliant, beautiful, splendid Cassian who had been hurt far too much by the world — deserved to hear them aloud. It scared her for too many reasons to count, but if ever there was anyone worth confronting that fear for, it was this man who sat next to her in all his marvelous glory. 

His eyes were open — vulnerable, in a way he always was with her. Sometimes she wondered whether she deserved to be allowed to handle his precious heart that too many had tried to shatter. What if she dropped it or dented it with her harshness? But he entrusted her with it anyway. 

She took a deep breath. Then, she let it out, alongside the words she’d been holding in for so long.

“I love you.”

Cassian’s eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth to reply, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Not a single word escaped despite his attempts, but Nesta understood and just smiled, her eyes shining with joy. 

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to respond.”

Cassian looked frustrated at himself as a tear rolled down his cheek. “But I- I do. I-” He screwed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. 

Nesta knew that those three words were not ones Cassian had heard very much in his life. Shirina had likely been the first to say those words to him in his memory, and that hadn’t been til his teen years. Cassian’s mother had most likely loved him, but Cassian’s memories of her were sparse. 

Enalius certainly loved Cassian, but Nesta was just as certain that he would not say it out aloud. Enalius showed his love through his coaching, his cheering, and the letters he’d send from all over the world. 

Ayla, Rhysand, and Azriel also loved Cassian and weren’t shy about it these days, although none of them were particularly vocal about it either. They preferred to show it through gifts and hugs and jokes and advice. When they had met, however, they had all been preteens who wouldn’t have been caught dead saying the words ‘I love you’.

Cassian had certainly had flings and girlfriends in the past. Nesta didn’t know the details of all of his past relationships, but she could easily guess that those words had seldom or, more likely, never been exchanged.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “You don’t need to say anything right now.” 

And then, just because she could — because she now had the freedom to say it without being caged by fear — she added, “I love you, Cassian.” 

Cassian answered with a kiss that said, ‘I love you more than words can ever express.’

__________

Present day

“I was such a mess,” Cassian recalled fondly. “Rhys and Az laughed at me for bawling so much.” 

“I remember Gwyn saying that she could take the trophy if it was making you so sad,” Nesta added. 

“Nah, I think I’ll keep it,” he laughed. Then, he added, “I love you.” 

“Are you talking to me or the trophy?” 

“Oh, the trophy, for sure.”

“Oh, good, just wanted to make sure.”

They grinned at each other.

“You have no idea how I felt when I saw you make that heart that day,” he said. “I mean, I was already elated because of the goal I’d just scored, but that couldn’t even compare to how I felt when I looked up at you. I think my heart literally skipped a beat.” 

“Better visit a cardiologist then,” Nesta answered lightly.

Cassian flicked her nose. She shrieked loudly in return.

“You know what you sound like?” Cassian tapped a photo in the middle, which was surrounded by doodles of musical notes.

Nesta mock-gasped. “Excuse you, I wasn’t that bad.”

“You’re right, you were worse.”

__________

Three years ago

“What’s that?” 

Nesta pointed towards a large, lumpy black bag resting against Cassian’s bedroom wall. 

“Oh, sorry, I was practicing earlier and forgot to put it away.” Cassian moved the bag to his closet. “It’s my guitar.”

Nesta placed her hand on Cassian’s wrist before he could shut the closet. 

“You play guitar?” 

“Yeah, it’s something I picked up when living with Shirina. I’m not a pro or anything, but it’s a fun hobby, you know.” 

“Wow, would you… could you play something for me?”  

Cassian seemed surprised but nodded, pulling the guitar back out of the closet. 

He sat down on the floor, his back resting against the bed. “What do you want me to play?”

Nesta sat down beside him. “Anything you want. Just play me something you enjoy playing.”

Cassian absently strummed the guitar a few times, deep in thought.

“Alright, sweetheart. Here we go. This song is called la rosa del principe.” Cassian closed his eyes and started playing. 

Nesta watched him with bright eyes, mesmerized. 

After a while, he started singing. His deep voice complemented the melody he was strumming. His singing was nice, but it was the passion in his voice that warmed Nesta’s insides. 

“Wow,” Nesta whispered when the song ended. 

Cassian chuckled. “Shirina loved that song. She’s the one that signed me up for some guitar lessons, you know. She taught me the lyrics to la rosa del principe when I told her I didn’t know them. She was always humming the melody when she was cooking or doing chores or whatever. I think it was a song her mom liked, so it reminded her of her childhood.”

“Does it remind you of your childhood?”

Cassian took a moment to contemplate his answer. “It reminds me of Shirina, and how kindly and lovingly she treated me. That wasn’t really a common theme in my childhood, you know, but I suppose you could say it reminds me of some of the best parts of my childhood.”

Nesta nudged his shoulder with hers comfortingly. He gently pushed back against her in a silent gesture of gratitude. They sat in comfortable silence for a moment. 

Then, Nesta pressed a kiss to his cheek and whispered, “Could you teach me?” 

Cassian swallowed roughly and nodded. 

“The lyrics are kind of complicated, since it’s not in English, but I can just teach you the chorus for now if you want.”

“Sure,” she smiled.

Cassian spoke the lyrics slowly. Nesta tried to repeat after him, though she didn’t do the best job judging by Cassian’s chuckles. 

“Close. It’s tramonto, not tremare,” he corrected. 

“What do the lyrics mean?” Nesta asked. 

“The song is a love letter to a rose. It’s a metaphor for loving something so delicate and impermanent,” he explained. “The song is from the point of view of this guy who is so powerful — he’s a prince, he can travel across galaxies, he can do whatever he wants — but he feels so powerless because he knows he can’t control what happens to this rose that he loves. And even though he’s rich and powerful, he gets lonely a lot and his rose is his only companion so he dreads the thought of leaving it or having it disappear.”

“That sounds kind of tragic.”

“I guess so, but it’s not sad per se. It’s more like a reminder of the importance of love rather than materialistic things, and not taking your loved ones for granted.” 

He kissed her cheek. 

Nesta smiled. “That’s beautiful.”

Cassian hummed in agreement. “It’s such a Shirina song. She loved songs with morals like that, that remind you to appreciate what you have. She was so down-to-Earth, even though her husband was one of the richest, most powerful people around here. It’s…” He trailed off with a sigh. 

“I’m glad you met her,” Nesta said quietly after a moment. “She sounds like a great person and I’m so happy you had her in your life.”

“Yeah, me too.” He took a deep breath. “I wish you could’ve met her. I think… I think she would have loved you.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They sat quietly for a moment. Then, Cassian grinned mischievously. 

“Cas! What the fu-” yelped Nesta as he lifted her up. 

He placed her between his legs with a huff of laughter. She leaned back into him, her back pressing against his front. 

Cassian placed the guitar in her lap. 

“Alright, it’s time for you to learn how to play this magnificent instrument,” he declared. 

“Okay, but I’m just warning you, I don’t really have experience playing instruments.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m just here to help you learn some basics. Besides, you’re a dancer so you have some experience with rhymes and stuff. How bad could you be?”

Holding her hands in his, he demonstrated how to hold the guitar and how to strum a basic chord. 

“You got it!” Cassian cheered as Nesta played a C chord that didn’t sound half bad. 

“Ok, so then,” Cassian moved their hands to a different position. “Use your pointer finger to hold down this string. Good! Your middle finger holds this one and your ring finger holds this one.” 

He continued his explanation of different chords and strumming patterns. 

“So, basically, you just hold down different strings and strum up and down for different notes, right?” Nesta asked as he finished.

Cassian chuckled. “Basically, yeah.”

“Alright.” Nesta wiggled her hands free from Cassian’s grasp and took a dramatic deep breath. “It’s time. I’m going to play.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What are you going to play? I haven’t taught you how to play la rosa del principe yet.”

She shrugged. “I’m just going to let my imagination and inspiration guide me.” 

“Uh, I’m not sure that’s going to turn out-”

A jumbled chord cut him off. 

“Um-” 

What followed next was the most chaotic, screechy minute of guitar playing Cassian had ever heard. The torture likely would have continued for longer, since he didn’t have the heart to stop Nesta, if they hadn’t been interrupted by the Cassian’s bedroom door slamming open.

Azriel yelled, “Cassian! I think a cat is dying in your ro- oh, hey Nesta.”

“Hey Az!” she replied, beaming at Cassian’s roommate until she registered his words. “Wait, what? You think I sound like a dying cat?” 

Azriel took a step back, prepared to run away, as Nesta stood up and placed the guitar in Cassian’s lap. 

“Well, you know, uh, it’s good to practice and all, but we don’t want noise complaints from our neighbors, or allegations of animal abuse so…” Az smirked.

“Wha- animal- Get back here you little-” Nesta sprinted down the hallway, chasing after a cackling Azriel. 

Cassian was still sitting there, laughing, when the two of them ran back into the room. 

“Save me, Cass!” Azriel pleaded as he tried to hide behind his friend. 

Nesta smirked. “You really think you can use my boyfriend against me like this?”

“He was my friend first!” Azriel gripped his sleeve.

Nesta rolled her eyes. 

“Please Cassian,” she said in an airy voice. She looked up at him through her lashes and gently tugged on his sleeve. 

He followed her lead without even thinking, until Azriel muttered, “Traitor.”

“Hey, wait-” Cassian interjected, coming to his senses.

Nesta stuck her tongue out at Az. “He loves me.” 

Whatever Cassian could have said on Azriel’s behalf dissipated when her eyes softened as they met his. 

Even Azriel’s over-the-top gagging noises couldn’t ruin the moment as Nesta smiled at him and murmured, “Can you teach me how to play la rosa del principe later?” 

“We’ll see,” Cassian replied with a smile, knowing full well that he’d cave into her demands, no matter the cost to his ears.

__________

Present day

“I love that you wanted to learn how to play guitar for me.” Cassian’s eyes were warm and full of mirth. “Even if playing music isn’t exactly your strong suit.” 

Nesta placed a hand over her heart. “How dare you suggest such a thing.” 

Her stern demeanor gave way to playfulness as she winked, “I guess you’ll just have to sing and play music for me while I dance.”

“Exactly. You see, Nes, we complement each other perfectly.”

“A match made in heaven,” she agreed with a laugh. 

“Honestly, though, it meant a lot to me that you wanted to hear me play,” Cassian said when they stopped laughing, “and that you wanted to learn.”

“It meant a lot to me that you were willing to share such a personal song with me,” Nesta answered, “and that you were willing to be so open with me without prompting. It was like a sign, you know, that our relationship was actually real and meaningful to you, too. Of course I already knew that but, like, I guess it just hit home right then.” 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. In that moment, I also felt how easy it was to be open and talk about anything and everything with you.”

“You see?” Nesta winked, gesturing between them. “We’re made for each other.”

She glanced down at the pictures between them. 

“At least I don’t need to put up with Az insulting my musical talents anymore, now that you don’t live together.”

“Talents?” Cassian coughed. 

Nesta shot him a warning glare before continuing, “I’m so glad I don’t need to hear him complaining or interrupting us anymore. That was the real reason I asked you to live with me, you know — so I wouldn’t have to hear his whining.”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” he replied. He leaned closer to her. “It was all part of my plan, Sweetheart.”

__________

Two years ago

“Don’t mind me, I just need to get to the kettle.”

Nesta and Cassian sprung apart at Azriel’s words. 

Azriel, with a bored expression, walked past the couple into the kitchen and filled water in the kettle. 

Cassian hastily redid his fly, clearing his throat a few times. Nesta, blushing furiously, scrambled to hook her bra and do up the buttons on her shirt. 

Azriel turned back around, leaning back against the counter as he waited for the water to boil. He reached into his back pocket for his phone, but noticed Nesta’s expression and rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, Nesta, chill. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” 

Cassian furrowed his eyebrows. “What?” he growled. 

Azriel shook his head in exasperation. “How many times have I walked in on you two making out — hell, how many times have I walked in on you two fucking in common spaces? At this point, I’m immune to all this.” He waved his hand at Nesta’s half-open shirt and Cassian’s bare chest. 

Cassian slipped his shirt over his head. 

“Really?” Nesta asked, arching a perfectly angled eyebrow and tossing her hair over her shoulder. Cassian elbowed her and she giggled, buttoning up the rest of her shirt. 

“Az-” Cassian began, annoyance coloring his tone.

“No,” Azriel interrupted firmly. “If you don’t want me to walk in or interrupt you or whatever, go do whatever you want in your room. I’ve never once complained about the noise, even when I have to put up with your loud-ass moans and screams. But I have the right to make tea in my own house if I want to.” 

Cassian narrowed his eyes. His stance changed unconsciously, gearing up for a fight. He opened his mouth to deliver a biting retort. 

“You’re right, Az,” Nesta interjected before the situation could escalate any further. “We’re sorry.”

Azriel was silent, his eyes fixed on Cassian. The latter let Nesta pull him towards his bedroom. 

About a week later, Cassian and Nesta were once again interrupted. This time, Azriel crunched loudly on his popcorn as he walked into the living room.

Cassian sent him a questioning glare as Nesta scrambled to cover herself.

“What?” Azriel replied, unfazed. “I was gonna watch TV, but, well, it seems like there’s a show right here.”

“Look-”

“C’mon, Cass.” Nesta sprung up from the couch, dressed in Cassian’s shirt, and took her boyfriend’s hand. “I needed to talk to you about something, anyway.” She winked at him and whispered, “I got a little side-tracked and forgot.”

Cassian shot Az a dirty look as he exited the room. 

“Did you actually need to talk about something,” Cassian asked with a smile as he sat down on his bed and placed Nesta on his lap, “or did you just want to distract me?”

He leaned his forehead against hers. 

Nesta laughed lightly. “Contrary to popular belief, I don’t always lie to manipulate you.” 

He widened his eyes in false disbelief. “Really?”

She shook her head with a grin. “Why would I when I can manipulate you just as well with the truth?”

“Ooh, you saucy witch,” Cassian joked.  

They both laughed.

Nesta pressed a hand to Cassian’s cheek to stop him as he leaned in to kiss her.

“I do actually want to talk about something.”

He leaned back and cocked his head. “What’s up?”

The twinkle in Nesta’s eyes dimmed.

“It’s my apartment.” She swallowed. “My landlord is raising the rent.” 

“Again?” he replied, alarmed. It had only been four months since the last time her rent had increased.

She nodded. “Yeah. And it’s not… I mean, it would be ridiculous for me to stay there, even if I managed to afford it. It’s definitely not worth the new rent.”

“So you want to move?” 

“Yeah.” 

Cassian seemed confused by her nervous tone. “Alright, well, don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll help you with all your stuff, and I know a guy with a moving truck. It’ll all be okay. We’ll find you a way better place to live.” 

He gave her an encouraging squeeze and smile that she didn’t return.

“Uh, well, um. Actually, I was wondering if…” Nesta rolled her lips.

Cassian frowned, concerned by Nesta’s hesitant tone.

“Could I- I mean, I already spend so much time at your place,” she continued, “and I stay here a lot and we- um. Since I have to get a new place…”

“Of course you can stay here while you look for a new place!” Cassian replied.

“Oh!” Nesta sounded surprised. “No, I- I mean, thank you. But, uh, that’s not really what I was gonna…” She shook her head, annoyed at her own incoherence. “That’s really sweet of you, Cass.”

Cassian gave her a long look, trying to decipher her thoughts. “Are you trying to find a place on this block? I can try to get the inside scoop if that’s what you were asking.”

“No, no, that’s not what I-” She took a deep breath and then looked into Cassian's eyes. “Would you want to live with me?”

Cassian blinked. “Oh! Oh, I-” He started to grin. Then, he blinked again, and his face fell. “Oh, uh, I…”

“It’s totally fine if not!” Nesta quickly backtracked. “I know you already signed this lease and stuff, and I can definitely just move-”

“No, it’s- I-” It was Cassian’s turn to take a deep breath. “Nesta, I would love to live with you and I’m honored that you asked me and I’m- I’m so, so happy that you want to live with me. But, well, I just don’t know if it will work out, considering.” He shot a glance towards the door. 

Nesta got up from Cassian’s lap. “Oh.” She looked away from him as she gathered her clothes off the floor, trying to disguise her hurt. “Um, okay. Yeah. I get it.” Her thoughts spiraled as she changed out of Cassian’s shirt.

“Nes! Nesta, I…” Cassian seemed to be at a loss for words. “You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied half-heartedly after a beat. 

“Nes, I just…” he sounded frustrated. “You know how things have been lately, with Az. As much as I… I don’t think it’s realistic to think that he’d be okay with it, and of course I’d talk to him beforehand but, like, it is his place too and…”

She gave a noncommittal hum in reply.

The room was drenched in tense silence.

“Can you just be honest?” Nesta said finally, puncturing the tension. “If you don’t want to move in with me, just say it. I understand you’re renting this place with Az, but he isn’t unreasonable. We both know that if you talked about it, he’d be cool with it. Maybe he’d ask you to wait for a bit, until the end of this lease or whatever, but he wouldn’t stop you. So just tell me why you don’t want to live with me, because I- I thought we were… that this was…”

“I am being honest,” Cassian frowned. 

She gave an irritated sigh. 

“No, really, I am,” he insisted. “You were there with me in the living room, weren’t you? Didn’t you see how pissed he was? I guess maybe it wasn’t- Az isn’t the type to yell or anything. That quiet, passive-aggressive type shit is how he expresses his annoyance.”

“So?” Nesta bit back. “If anything, I would have thought he’d be glad if we weren’t here as often.”

“Exactly! I don’t think we should spend more time here.”

Nesta paused. “What?”

“I know you and Az do get along,” he said, “but I really don’t think he’d be fine with you moving in here.”

“Here? Wait, you thought- Oh. Oh!” Nesta brightened visibly.

“What?” Cassian seemed bewildered by her sudden change in mood. 

“Cassian, I wasn’t asking to move in here,” she laughed. “I was asking you to move in with me at a new place we’ll find together.”

Cassian’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh! Yes, of course, I’d love that! Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I thought- but- yes!”

Nesta grinned. “I should’ve been clearer, sorry about that.”

“No, no, it’s on me.” His face slowly spread into a grin. “Guess we’ll have to work on communicating better if we’re gonna live together, huh?”

“I guess so,” she beamed.

Nesta embraced Cassian tightly. 

“We’re living together!” she whispered excitedly.

He hugged her back. “Yes, we are,” he replied just as thrilled.

__________

Present day

“I can’t believe we were so stupid,” Nesta laughed.

“I know right?” Cassian looked down at the photo once more. “No, but seriously, I was so elated when we moved into this place.”

Nesta smiled fondly. “Yeah, me too. I smiled for, like, 48 hours straight, even though we had to carry all those boxes and,” she paused dramatically, “unpack.” She shuddered. 

“Ah, yes, unpacking — the harshest of struggles.”

“I’m so glad you understand.”

“Oh, no, I don’t mind unpacking, but well,” Cassian ran a hand through his hair suavely, “some people are just built different.”

Nesta flipped him off playfully.

“Aw, sweetheart, don’t be jealous,” he replied consolingly, “I have my own weaknesses. Like, I hate packing.”

She huffed. “Cass-”

“What? Oh, c’mon, what’s the point of my trauma if I can’t joke about it?” 

She shook her head with a chuckle. “So you’re saying that all that trauma was just character development so you could increase your humor stats?”

Cassian pointed finger guns at her. “Cha-ching! Now you get it.” 

Nesta laughed. 

She looked around, still awed by the beautiful display Cassian had set up for her. She picked up a rose petal and admired its color and scent. As she fiddled with it, she was suddenly struck by a thought. 

“Where are Ara and Lina?” 

“They’re with Em,” Cassian said reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I’ll clean all this stuff up before they get back.”

“Oh, they love being at Emerie’s place. They get along so well with Siph, it’s crazy.” Nesta paused, struck by another thought. “Wait, but why did you ask her to watch them? I mean, why did you organize this whole-”

“Remember when we got them?” Cassian interrupted, pointing to another polaroid. “They used to be so tiny! It’s crazy how much they’ve grown.”

Nesta cocked her head, confused by Cassian ignoring her question. Before she could continue her line of questioning, however, her eyes landed on the photo he was indicating and she got sidetracked. 

“Oh my gosh, yeah,” she breathed as she reminisced. “I can’t believe we thought we were going to walk into the shelter without adopting a pet.”

“I can’t believe we told the landlord that we didn’t care about the pet policy because we were never going to get one,” he answered. 

“We’re so lucky we accidentally got an apartment that allows pets,” she agreed. 

“I’ll never forget the look on Cresseida’s face when we told her,” Cassian added. 

She replied, “She made sure we’d never forget. She was saying ‘I told you so’ for months.”

__________

One year ago

 “We’ll stop by for a bit, but we’re not adopting any pets,” Nesta repeated for the fifth time in the past ten minutes.

“Okay,” Cresseida answered with a knowing smirk, “but it’s also okay if you change your mind.”

Cresseida, Emerie’s girlfriend, ran a pet shelter with her best friend, Nuala. She had invited all of Emerie’s friends to stop by anytime, saying that she and the animals enjoyed having company. 

Nesta and Cassian had resisted at first, since they weren’t looking for pets and, in Nesta’s words, “weren’t the pet type”. Neither of them had ever owned a pet before. While they respected people who loved their pets, they also enjoyed making fun of those who dressed up in matching outfits with their pets for Halloween and talked about their pets as though they were their children. Also, while Nesta didn’t dislike animals per se, she also didn’t like them enough to feel any desire to live with one 24/7, let alone take care of one. Cassian liked animals well enough but he’d had some bad experiences with stray dogs when he was a kid. When they visited friends who owned big dogs who would greet visitors by pouncing on them or barking excitedly, Cassian would always plaster a fake smile on his face, but she’d feel him flinch.  

However, when Emerie used her puppy-dog eyes and pleaded with Nesta to just go once to support her girlfriend’s work, she’d caved and agreed to visit. Cassian and Gwyn — both of whom had yet to visit the shelter — came along with her, saying they should all just get it over with together. 

“This side of the shelter has dogs,” Cresseida said as they walked in, “and this side has cats. There are also some other animals in the back section. Feel free to walk around and ask me if you have any questions. Right now, most of the animals are in their individual kennels and the kennel doors are locked but let me know if you want to play with any of them.” 

“Alright, thanks,” Nesta replied.

She and Cassian shared a look. Both of them wanted to humor Cresseida, who was a great person and also the best girlfriend Emerie had (at least in Nesta’s opinion), but they both knew they wouldn’t be interested in any animals. They would just wander around the shelter until an appropriate amount of time had passed and they could politely leave. 

“Ooh, a kitten!” Gwyn exclaimed, grabbing Nesta’s hand and pulling her into the cat section.

Meanwhile, Cassian followed Cresseida into a different area.

 “Oh my gosh, this baby is only 12 weeks old,” Gwyn cooed at the striped tabby cat. “Isn’t she adorable?”

“She is cute,” Nesta admitted, but Gwyn had already moved on.

“Wow, this cat has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen! Oh, and look at this one! Do you see the face he’s making?”

Nesta laughed and followed her friend, nodding along to Gwyn’s excited commentary. 

Finally, Gwyn came to a halt with a gasp. She kneeled down wordlessly in front of an orange kitten, who blinked back at her sleepily. Nesta kneeled down next to Gwyn. She looked at the kennel in front of her. A jet-black cat was at the other corner of the kennel, hissing and growling at the young boy who was trying to attract its attention. His mother pulled him away just as the cat attempted to scratch the child through the glass. 

“Crazy feral cat,” Nesta heard the mother grumble under her breath as they walked away. 

Nesta raised an eyebrow at the cat, who regarded her with an equally judgemental expression. Nesta took a step closer to the glass. The cat did the same. 

She tuned out Gwyn mumbling something. Instead, she turned her focus to the tag on the kennel.

“Oh, wow, you still don’t have a name even though you’re eight months old, huh,” Nesta said. She had always thought it was a bit silly how pet owners talked to animals as though they could really answer, but now she found it to be the most natural thing in the world. Especially when the cat meowed in response.

Nesta cocked her head. The cat studied her for a few seconds. It stared intensely with its yellow eyes. Then, it tilted its head, copying her. 

She couldn’t help but melt. How was it possible that such a sweet cat had yet to find a home?

“Nesta! There you are!” 

Nesta jolted as Cresseida’s voice interrupted her thoughts. 

“I see you found little Miss Onyx over here,” Cresseida smiled. “I’ve never seen her be so friendly with any customers before.”

“Is her name Onyx, then?”

“Oh, no. We have tried to name her before, but she seems to hate every name we’ve tried, so we kind of gave up,” Cresseida explained. “We couldn’t keep calling her ‘the unnamed black cat’, though, so now we just refer to her by black object names.” Cresseida turned towards the cat. “Isn’t that right, Blackberry?” 

The cat hissed and retreated to the corner of her kennel closest to Nesta. 

Cresseida laughed. “See?” Then, she sent Nesta a knowing glance. “She seems to adore you.”

Nesta glanced back at the cat, who was now sitting with a paw on the glass.

“She is very cute,” she admitted. 

“She is,” Cresseida agreed. “Sadly, she’s fierce enough that she scares away most customers.”

“It’s like she’s made for Nesta!” Gwyn piped up. “I mean, look at her spunky attitude, her fierceness, her witchy vibes — since, you know, she’s a black cat.”

“I don’t have witchy vibes,” Nesta muttered.

Gwyn ignored her. “Not to mention, she’s right next to Mer,” she pointed to the orange cat, “who is my soulmate cat so our cats are destined to be best friends, just like us!”

“Wow, I didn’t- I haven’t said I’m adopting her yet,” Nesta protested.

“Yet,” Gwyn repeated, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.

Cresseida laughed. “Well, let me know if you are seriously interested in adopting Miss Obsidian. There’s a few things you would need to keep in mind for her that we should talk about.”

Nesta nodded.

“What about Mer?” Gwyn asked. “Any special care she needs that I should know about?”

“Not really. We did have her on a special diet for a bit because she was slightly malnourished when we found her but she’s at a healthy weight now.”

Nesta walked away as Gwyn and Cresseida continued their animated discussion. How was she going to convince Cassian to adopt a cat? Actually, Nesta knew that wouldn’t be an issue — Cassian would surely jump at any opportunity to make her happy. The real question was how she was going to put aside her pride and admit that she wanted to adopt the cat. She would also have to see if Cassian wanted to adopt the cat, too, and not just for her sake. It would be unfair to both Cassian and the cat to bring her into a home where only one person truly loved her. Not that Cassian wouldn’t be kind to the cat, regardless — it was just that Nesta wanted Cassian to adopt the cat because it made him happy, instead of doing it for Nesta’s sake. 

Nesta was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she walked right into someone. 

“Excuse me,” Nesta apologized. The man turned around.

“You’re excused, Nes,” Cassian replied with a wink. 

“Oh, fuck you,” she groaned, holding back a smile. 

“I know I’m hot, but you’re gonna have to wait til we get home.” 

She replied with a soft punch to his shoulder. Cassian fell to the floor dramatically. 

A bark sounded from the kennel right in front of Cassian. Nesta quickly examined Cassian for any signs of fear, but he wasn’t flinching. Instead, he tugged gently on her arm. 

“Nes,” he said with a grin as she sat down beside him, “Let me introduce you to my new friend, Lina.” 

Nesta turned to find a large golden retriever wagging her tail energetically. She was beautiful and friendly, but she also definitely weighed more than twenty kilograms and had a full set of sharp teeth. In short, she was exactly the type of dog that Cassian would usually be uncomfortable around. 

Yet, here he was, saying, “Look, I know we agreed that we were just looking around and we weren’t going to adopt any pets but look at her! Her cute paws, that gorgeous fur, and those eyes! And she’s so happy to see me! Doesn’t it just make you want to keep her forever?”

His expression said it all: he’d fallen completely in love with this dog. 

“Cassian…” 

His expression dropped. “I know taking care of a pet is a lot of work. If we did adopt her, I would walk her and figure out her food and vet stuff, but she would be living with both of us, so I would never want to adopt her if you weren’t completely on board. And having a pet would affect our lifestyle and our day-to-day lives a lot, so I understand if you’d rather not adopt her.”

“Do you want to adopt her?” Nesta blurted out. 

Cassian looked confused. 

“I mean, she’s obviously a beautiful and friendly dog, but she’s in a kennel right now,” Nesta explained. “If we adopt her, she could jump on you or bite you or scratch you. Won’t you be on edge having a dog in our apartment all the time, even if you’re tired or having a rough day?” 

“All the other dogs I’ve met make me nervous, either when they bark or pant or just by being close to me. They remind me of rough times in my childhood, when I was scared and in danger. But for some reason, Lina is different. I don’t get any of that fear or anxiety around her. In fact, it’s the opposite. She makes me feel relaxed and happy. I think she actually makes me feel safe.” Cassian ran a hand through his hair. “Weird, huh?”

Nesta smiled. “I’m glad you found her. I still want you to take her for a walk before we sign anything if we’re going to adopt her.”

“Wait, but- We don’t need to adopt her just because I want to. If you don’t want a pet, you shouldn’t agree just for my sake,” he added hurriedly. Still, Nesta could see the corners of his mouth tilting up. 

“Yes, I want to adopt her! And,” Nesta continued, seeing Cassian opening his mouth to argue, “do you really think that I would ever agree to something I didn’t want to do, just for someone else’s sake?”

“Yeah, I do. I know you’re a big softie,” Cassian teased. 

She laughed. “Well, trust me, I do want to adopt a pet.”

“Of course she wants to!” Gwyn interjected, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. “You should have seen her with that cat. It was like she’d found her twin flame! No offense, Cassian.”

“Wait, what cat?” he replied, befuddled. 

Nesta attempted to wave him off. “It’s nothing-”

“It’s not nothing!” Gwyn interrupted animatedly. “It’s her cat soulmate! A little ball of anger and adorable-ness, just like our little Nesta here.”

Nesta sent her friend a flat look. “Thanks a lot for that description.”

Gwyn just shrugged. “What? You know I’m right.” 

“Where can I find this cat?” Cassian asked. 

Gwyn pointed him in the right direction, telling him about all the ways in which the cat represented Nesta while pointedly ignoring Nesta’s calls of “No, it’s fine” and “You don’t need to go look at the cat” and “I don’t have spooky evil vibes!”. 

“Aww, look at her,” Cassian smiled as he crouched in front of the black cat’s kennel. 

The cat hissed in return.  

“You’re so beautiful, aren’t you? Yes, you are! Good girl!” cooed Cassian. 

The cat abruptly stopped hissing. She stared at him unblinkingly before purring quietly.

Gwyn erupted with laughter. “Wow, she really is just like Nesta, huh? Everything down to the praise ki-”

Her words were cut off as Nesta covered Gwyn’s mouth with her hand. 

“What the fuck, Gwyn! She’s a cat! That’s disgusting,” Nesta hissed in her ear. 

Gwyn licked Nesta’s palm, and used the moment Nesta recoiled as a distraction to pull her hand off. 

“I just tell it how I see it,” Gwyn declared. “And I have never once been disgusting.”

“Oh really?” Nesta replied, bringing the hand Gwyn had licked close to Gwyn’s face. 

Gwyn screeched and ran down to hide behind Cassian.

Cassian remained focused on the cat. “Oh, you’re such a sweetheart. What’s your name, baby?”

“She doesn’t have a name yet,” Nesta supplied, before bringing her licked hand around Cassian to reach for Gwyn. The redhead let out another shriek and ran. 

Nesta could see the moment Cassian melted. His posture seemed to go soft as his expression turned even more tender. 

“You don’t have a name yet, huh?” he murmured. “I guess you need a family to give you a name and a home and some love.”

She placed her non-licked hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. She didn’t need to ask to know that he was thinking of his own childhood — when he’d needed a home and a family, too. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Cassian whispered, “me and your mom are going to give you so much love.”

“Cass, are you sure?” she questioned gently. She ignored how it made her feel to hear him refer to her as ‘mom’. There was too much to unpack there, and she would save it for later, after they’d finished making important decisions. 

“Look at her, Nes,” he replied. “It’s like she was made for us.”

Nesta knew it was more than just about the resemblances between her and the cat that Gwyn had pointed out. It was about how this cat hissed and growled at strangers, putting her guard up, but really was just a sweet kitten who needed some love. Both of them could relate to putting on a tough face to hide how vulnerable and hurt they really were. She knew Cassian was thinking that this cat would be a perfect addition to their lives.

“But what about Lina?” Nesta insisted. 

“You love this cat. Don’t try to deny it, I can tell.”

“That’s not an answer.” 

“I think,” Cassian said carefully, “we both love this cat and we should adopt her.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “And what are we doing about the fact that we both love Lina?” 

This wasn’t just about the animals, and they both knew that. 

It wasn’t that Nesta didn’t think Cassian wanted to adopt the cat — she knew he really, truly did. But she also knew that he wanted to adopt Lina. She wouldn’t let him give up on his wishes and always put her needs above his. While she appreciated the sentiment, she also knew he had a tendency to discount his own desires. She needed him to know that what he wanted mattered just as much.

Cassian let out a big breath like a deflating mattress, the fight going out of him. 

“I love Lina, I do. And I know it’s so special that I feel so safe around her — around a big dog with sharp teeth. But Nes,” his voice took on a different tone, “at the end of the day, she’s a friendly golden retriever. I’m sure a million families with white picket fences are lining up to adopt her. And this cat… I mean, she doesn’t even have a name.” 

His Adam's apple bobbed.

“I know we could love either of them, and they’d be incredible. But at least with Lina, I know she’ll find someone else to take care of her. I don’t know if this cat will find that, and she’s too…” Cassian paused to search for a word. His nose scrunched in frustration as his vocabulary failed him. “She’s too precious for me to take that chance.” 

He needed his kitten to find a home. He couldn’t risk her never finding a family — not when he had so much love he could give her. 

Nesta contemplated silently. 

“Okay,” she finally said, her eyes piercing through him as though she intended to read his heart. “If you’re sure that’s what you want to do, we’ll get this cat.”

Cassian smiled. “Look at us, being real adults. Can you believe we’re going to be parenting this cutie?”

“Parenting,” repeated Nesta with a snort. “Don’t say it like that. It sounds like we’re having a baby or something. People are going to think I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my god, you’re pregnant?” Gwyn exclaimed, reappearing next to Nesta from wherever she’d run off to. She had clearly only caught the tail end of Nesta’s sentence. 

“Wow, I’m so excited to be an aunt! Do you know the sex yet? Wait, how far along do you need to be to know that? How many months are you, by the way?” Gwyn spoke too rapidly for anyone to get a word in. “I had no idea about this! How have you been hiding the morning sickness? Or does everyone know about this already? Oh, gosh, this is so exciting!” 

Nesta stayed silent, trying to hold in her smile. Cassian just looked bewildered. 

Gwyn gave Nesta a light hug. “Oh, wow, this is crazy! Am I the first one to know? Wait, is it ok if I tell people? You can tell me if it’s still a secret, don’t worry.” 

Cassian blinked. “No, that’s-”

“Oh, perfect!” Gwyn squealed. She reached over to hug Cassian, too. “Oh, I can’t wait to tell Emerie! Oh my god, and Az! His reaction is going to be insane!” 

She practically skipped down the hallway, her fingers already tapping away on her phone.

Cassian raised an eyebrow at Nesta. “What just happened?”

Nesta finally let out a laugh. “Just Gwyn being Gwyn, I suppose.”

“You don’t mind?”

“I’m actually curious to see how far this goes.” She leaned forward, pressing her side against him. “Do you think they’ll throw me a surprise baby shower?”

“Rhys is going to be so pissed I’m having a baby before him,” Cassian grinned. “It’ll be hilarious.”

“We could tell them we’re having a daughter,” Nesta added, jerking her head towards the kitten.

Cassian laughed. He stood up and stretched out his body, likely feeling a slight ache because he’d been crouching for several minutes. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “This is why I love you, you mastermind.”

His lips brought with them a wave of warmth that spread through her veins.

“Time to go tell Cresseida that we are going to adopt a pet after all,” Nesta chirped. 

Cassian groaned. “How about you go tell her, since you’re the one who was looking at this cat first,” he suggested.

“But you made the final decision,” she countered. 

“Well, no, I,” Cassian wracked his brain to find an excuse, “I think you would, uh, be better at filling out the paperwork.”

“Hmm,” Nesta tapped a finger to her chin and pretended to consider his offer, “How about… you do it?”

They were saved from their squabble when Gwyn reappeared with Cresseida in tow.

“So, can I take Mer home with me today or should I set up my place to be cat-ready first?” Gwyn was saying. 

“Ah, Cresseida! Just the person we were looking for!” Cassian interjected. “Nesta wanted to ask you something.”

Nesta sent him a frigid side eye that would have sent anyone else running for the hills, but only made Cassian grin. 

“We were thinking about adopting her,” Nesta said, pointing at the cat in question, “and were wondering what we need to do to make that happen? Is there just paperwork or something else we need to do?”

Cresseida’s expression changed completely. “I knew you would all walk out of here with pets!” she exclaimed triumphantly. Then she sobered slightly. “I’m so glad you’re interested in this cat, but like I mentioned earlier, there is something you should know.” 

Nesta nodded sharply. The anticipation and anxiety started to creep up on her. Was the cat sick? Or disabled in some way? Perhaps she and Cassian, as first time pet owners, weren’t equipped to give her the care she needed. 

“When we found her, she was only about two months old,” Cresseida explained. “We’re not quite sure what happened to her mother, since she didn’t seem to be with her family. But she had already bonded to another animal. They’re still quite close. Even though they’re generally kept in separate kennels, we usually let them play with each other once or twice a day, or she’ll start to get antsy. If at all possible, it would be best not to separate them. It may be possible for her to get used to living without her bonded friend, especially if she’s in an environment where she’s well-loved and taken care of, but it would be very difficult on both of them. So if you would consider adopting both of them, that would really be for the best.”

“Like, another cat?” Nesta inquired.

“It’s not Mer, is it?” Gwyn asked, looking worried. “If it is, I guess I’m going to have to move in with Nesta and Cassian.” Her face suddenly brightened. “I can be like a live-in nanny!”

“No, it’s not Mer,” Cresseida replied, “and it’s actually not another cat. It’s quite a unique situation. We’re still not sure how these two found each other and came to be bonded, but the other animal is actually a dog.”

“Oh.” Nesta felt her heart sink. She would hate to separate the cat from the one other animal that had been with her since she was a baby, but she also couldn’t adopt a dog. She wouldn’t allow Cassian to feel unsafe in his own home. 

“We could adopt both-” Cassian began, just as she knew he would.

“No,” she cut in. She didn’t care if it made her seem like the villain in Cresseida’s eyes. “I’m sorry, we can’t.”

Her eyes shifted to the kitten once more. The cat truly was adorable. Nesta would miss her tremendously, even though they’d only just met. Still, she couldn’t separate her from the friend who’d become her family. She would have to let her go. It hurt, but she knew it was for the best.

“I don’t think we’ll adopt her after all,” Nesta said. Though she had once prided herself on hiding her true emotions from the world, she could tell that both Gwyn and Cassian instantly read the meaning behind her aloof tone. 

“Yeah, you’re right, that’s probably the right decision,” Gwyn supplied. “Adopting pets and having a baby at the same time would be really hard.”

Cassian kept silent. She knew he was itching to deny it, to demand that she adopt the cat anyway, his feelings be damned. She was glad that he knew her well enough that she would not be swayed, and that his well-being mattered more to her than anything else. 

Cresseida sighed, disappointed. “I understand,” she said, resigned. “Dogs aren’t for everyone, especially if you have a lot on your plate. This dog really is the sweetest, although if you are allergic, a golden retriever wouldn’t be the right breed.”

“Hold on, did you say a golden retriever?” Cassian interjected. “You’re not talking about Lina, are you?”

Cresseida looked surprised. “I am, actually. I assume you’ve already made her acquaintance, then?”

“Wait, you’re saying we can adopt both Lina and this cat? And they wouldn’t fight or hurt each other?” Cassian repeated, as though he couldn’t believe his ears. It sounded too good to be true.

“They do play-fight occasionally, but no, they don’t hurt each other and they get along great. But, I understand that you can’t adopt a dog,” Cresseida answered, slightly confused. 

Cassian turned to Nesta. 

“Did you hear that, Nes? We can adopt them both.” 

He was beaming. 

“They’re so perfect,” he repeated as they brought Lina and the cat home a week later, after they’d made all the necessary preparations. “It’s like we were made to find them.”

She felt like she was floating, swept up by the exuberance in his eyes.

When she watched the kitten curl up in Cassian’s lap while Lina sat beside them, a paw resting against the cat’s back, she couldn’t find a name for the feeling that bubbled up inside her. The only viable contenders — love and contentment — seemed too small to capture it all.

When Cassian later asked her what she wanted to name the cat, she looked at the life they’d built together — the bookshelves lined with hockey history books and romance novels, the kitchen counter where Cassian’s favorite chocolate lay beside her mountainous tea collection, the polaroid pictures of them stuck to the fridge with magnets, and the pets filling their home with affection — and replied, “Ataraxia.”

Peace. 

__________

Present day

“I can’t even bring Ara and Lina around Cresseida anymore,” Cassian grumbled. “She always just talks about how incredible it was that we actually believed we’d leave her shelter without a pet.”

“She’s a menace,” Nesta agreed, though her words lacked any real bite. 

They both adored Cresseida, and were delighted at how happy she made Emerie. It was only that Cresseida shared their friend group’s penchant for teasing their friend mercilessly. 

“Her cooking is amazing though, so she makes up for it,” Nesta continued. “I had no idea vegan food could taste that good until I met her.”

“Speaking of cooking…” Cassian pointed to the last photo. It was labeled ‘cooking breakfast’.

Nesta leaned in closer to inspect the image. “When was this?”

“What? You don’t remember?” Cassian gasped in mock offense.

Then, he took her hand. “Don’t worry, I’ll remind you.”

__________

Three months ago

Cassian awoke to the birds chirping and the smell of pancakes permeating the air. He rolled over in bed, reaching out for Nesta, only to find her side of the bed empty. 

He let out a small sigh. 

It was a Saturday morning, and his favorite thing to do on weekends when they didn’t have anything planned was to spend lazy mornings in bed with her. During the week, both of them were too busy to linger in bed. Snoozing their alarms once was the extent of their indulgence. 

But on weekends, Cassian liked to savor the feeling of Nesta lying beside him. He would lay in silence, taking it all in — the blankets warmed by their body heat, the way Nesta’s hair glowed in the morning light, the gentle pressuring of her body laying against his. Eyes half-open, he would breathe deeply and allow the peaceful contentment to fill his lungs. When Nesta woke up, there would be time for slow kisses, quiet conversations, and tender lovemaking. Their room would fill with soft but unbound laughter and playful quips. Later, they would make their way to the kitchen. One of them (usually Cassian) would cook brunch while the other did the dishes, swept the floor, or started a load of laundry. 

This morning, it seemed that Nesta had broken their usual routine. 

As Cassian rolled out of bed, his eyes caught the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was 10:05 am, far later than he usually woke up on weekends. Cassian was almost always the first to wake, generally around 8 or 9 am, and he’d lay patiently until Nesta gained consciousness around 9:30. 

Clearly, he’d been exhausted last night. It had been a long day of training, and then they’d gone out for dinner with his friends. After coming home, he and Nesta had watched a movie and then spent an hour tussling in their sheets. He’d fallen asleep as soon as he closed his eyes. 

Cassian pulled on a pair of dark jeans and strolled out of the bedroom without bothering to find a shirt. 

He found Nesta at the stove, flipping a pancake. She looked ethereal with her long hair down and shimmering in the light that flowed through the window. 

“Morning, Nes,” he said after taking a moment to appreciate the view. 

Nesta’s long legs were bare. She was dressed only in his striped button-up shirt which ended right below her butt. As she turned towards him, he could see that she hadn’t bothered to do up all the buttons on his shirt. The V dipped deep enough that, had she been wearing a bra, lacy bits would have peeked out, but she’d clearly thrown the shirt on without it. Was she wearing any underwear?

She sent him a small smile in greeting. 

“Can’t believe you didn’t bother to wake me up,” he teased as he pulled one of the hair ties off his wrist and put his probably messy hair into a neat bun. 

“Well, it seems like I tired you out last night and you clearly needed your beauty sleep,” she shot back. 

“Are you trying to imply that I didn’t tire you out?” 

She shot him a smirk. “Well, I was up first, wasn’t I?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, even as he held back a smile. He loved this easy back-and-forth, joking banter. “I’ll have to remedy that tonight,” he declared. 

“Aww, did I bruise your little ego?” 

She moved the pancake to a plate, and poured more batter into the pan. 

“There’s nothing little about me,” he joked before walking up behind her and gently wrapping his arms around her. He was careful to steer clear of her arms, so that they wouldn’t accidentally touch the pan or the stove and get burned. 

He rested his head in the crook of her neck. “I missed you this morning,” he whispered. 

“Couldn’t survive a few minutes without me?” she answered. He couldn’t see her face, but he could hear her smile in the warmth of her tone. 

“You know I’d be lost without you,” he answered. His tone was light and humorous, but his words were no less sincere.

She let out a small, fond chuckle. “Good thing I was only making breakfast then.”

He inhaled deeply. The smell of her vanilla and jasmine conditioner mixed with the sandalwood scent that lingered on his shirt. His neck was at a slightly awkward angle, bent down to accommodate Nesta’s forward-leaning posture as she cooked, but Cassian knew he’d be happy standing like this forever. 

He stayed there for a few minutes, until Nesta stilled in his arms. He knew she needed to move in order to put the pancake on a plate and couldn’t do so with Cassian wrapped around her, but she also didn’t want him to let go. 

He waited for a heartbeat, then gave her a slight squeeze before unwinding his arms. Before pulling away completely, he pressed a light kiss to the back of her neck.

Then, he walked over to the utensil drawer to start setting the table. 

When he sat down, his eyes flickered to Nesta’s figure, waiting for her to join him. He was itching to serve himself one of the pancakes in the middle of the table and bite into deliciousness. They smelled absolutely incredible. 

However, Nesta walked over with the pan still in her hand. She plopped the pancake from her pan straight onto his plate. Unlike the other pancakes, it wasn’t shaped like a circle.

“It was misshapen, so it reminded me of your face,” she quipped as she sat down after putting her pan in the sink. 

“Very funny.” He rolled his eyes, but couldn’t stop his smile. The pancake was shaped like a perfect heart. 

As they dug into their food, Cassian felt the domesticity seep into him. He knew how the rest of the day would likely go. They’d wash up together, and then Cassian would head out for a run with Lina while Nesta curled up on the couch with a book. He’d come home and shower, then make her a cup of tea. Later, they’d change the bedsheets, make a list of the groceries they needed to pick up, and chat, before watching a movie or ordering takeout. They’d end up having sex on the couch or in the shower — anywhere but on their freshly changed sheets — and then fall asleep curled around each other with Cassian’s arm slung over Nesta’s waist. 

Their lives had fallen into a routine. And Cassian loved it. This peaceful life they’d built together could never be boring — not when they always filled it with so much playfulness and their jobs were filled with drama by necessity. The regularity was a blessing, not a curse. When Cassian walked through the doors to this apartment, he felt the tension of the outside world fade away. He felt at home.

He loved the life they had created together, and couldn’t imagine anything better than having mornings like this one for the rest of his life. 

The thought should have shocked him, but it did not. He’d known for a long time that this was coming, but it was only now that it had fully sunk in.

He looked across the table at Nesta and caught her eye.

“What?” she asked with a grin.

He reached over and laced his pinky with hers. 

“Nothing.” He smiled. “I love you.”

She shook her head fondly at his cheesiness, but still replied, “I love you.” 

He wanted to declare his love for her in front of the whole world, and then spend the rest of his life with her. He couldn’t think of a better way to spend his life than dedicating it to loving her. 

That day, he started researching rings. 

__________

Present day

“I love you,” said Cassian. His eyes shone brightly. “I love all the moments we’ve spent together and the memories we’ve made.”

He walked around the table where the pictures lay and grasped her hands. 

“I do too.” Nesta, although still confused by their impromptu outpour of emotion, was always eager to remind Cassian of just how much she adored him. “I love you so much.”

Cassian smiled. She could see that a million thoughts were swirling in his mind, but he took a breath to focus himself.

“I love you,” he said once more, as though he couldn’t help himself, just like he had after he’d first said the words. He’d been like a child who’d never been allowed sweets who had just been given a box of chocolates — he marveled at the fact that he had love in his grasp and he gorged himself on it, basking in the delight that he could say the words whenever he wished. 

“Every minute, every second I get to spend with you is precious to me,” he continued. “Whether we’re at a party, a restaurant, a vacation, a match, or doing chores at home, every moment with you turns to gold. You made my life so beautiful and meaningful and happy, Nesta, in a way I never even imagined was possible. Even in the harshest moments, I know I’ll be okay because I get to come home to you every night. You’ve helped me learn how to live, not just survive. Because of you, I can love openly. Because of you, I can be myself without worrying that I’m too much. Because of you, I can let myself feel joy, instead of constantly worrying that it’s going to be ripped away from me. I can only hope that I can make you half as happy as you make me.”

“You make me happier than I ever thought possible,” Nesta answered. She was certain there were tears in her eyes, but she couldn’t bring herself to mind. There were so many things that she could say — how the world had appeared cold and cruel, just like her reflection in the mirror, until she’d seen it all through his eyes. She would never stop being inspired by him — how was it possible for him to be so kind when the world had been so awful to him? How was it that he got wholeheartedly excited when it snowed, despite knowing the stinging pain of a cold night on the streets? His joy was infectious, and now she couldn’t help but admire the beauty in every little thing — children skipping down the sidewalk, the leaves changing color, and the birds chirping in the morning. 

Yet, she couldn’t find the words. How could she express the magnitude of her emotions for him, and just how much he’d changed her life? All she could do was look at him. 

He squeezed her hands gently and she knew he understood.

“You’ve made me a better man.” His voice was slightly raspy as emotion clogged his throat. “My life is so much fuller with you in it. We’ve made so many beautiful memories,” he said, gesturing to the pictures with one hand, “and I want to dedicate the rest of my life to making more. It would be the greatest honor to spend my life by your side. I want to fill that table with a million — a billion — more memories.”

“So, Nesta Archeron,” He released her hands. She blinked in surprise and found him kneeling before her, a small box open in his hands with something sparkling inside. “Will you marry me?”

Her gaze had gotten blurred with tears, but she blinked them away now. 

Cassian cut a stunning figure as he looked up at her, rose petals and candles glowing around him. His outfit flattered his body — the wine-red shirt showed off his muscular arms without being too tight and contrasted his skin tone well, bringing attention to his soft blush and curved lips to highlight his joy. His long hair was as glorious as usual, half of it pulled into a bun. 

Still, it was the look in his eyes that caught her attention. His beautiful hazel eyes, framed by his long, dark lashes, sparkled not only with love and joy, but also with breathtaking certainty. Unlike during that bookstore date so long ago, Cassian was secure in their love. She could see in his eyes that, even if she said no, he would not doubt their relationship for a moment. 

But of course, there was only one answer she would give to this wondrous man. He had come into her life like a fire, warming her and brightening her life in innumerable ways. 

“Yes.”

__________

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[mushies-stories]

Will you?

Thomas Selby X Reader

gothic women and tommy shelby? yes.

Y/N works in a morgue and sells body parts to the boys for... reasons. (If you've ever watched soa you'd know) and tommy falls in love and has decided it's time to ask the big question :D

warnings: It's kind of proofread as always, long straight hair because Morticia Adams is inspo juuuust a little. female reader.

word count:1035

Thomas Shelby had been with many different women. Blonds, brunettes, some nice and kind and others more vocal and intimidating. But for the most part they had all been normal so to say. They worked jobs normally for women or wanted a housewife life. Wore just enough makeup with the right dress and jews to match. From what Tommy had come to understand, that was just how women were, that was until he met Y/N.

She was someone no man or person would miss if she walked down any street. Hair straight as a pin and long down her back. Shades of black surrounded her eyes. Lips often painted a dark red. No one had ever seen her wear a single color, all of her clothing is black and flows somewhere at least a little. 

The pair met when Tommy needed body parts to deal with some business, they ended up at a small town morgue. Walking in and half expecting to be met with a weird eyed old man, All three brothers were happily surprised to be met with a beautiful young woman. After some awkward exchanges and half ass explanations they finally just threw down a bunch of money and waited for your answer. 

After that first deal, with how good that pay was, why say no? You began to see the brothers more often, not always all together though. It wasn't too long that Tommy found himself just wanting to see you, but knowing he can't just come up with a reason to need a limb or an eye he decided to just man up and ask you to dinner.

That was just the first of many before you were officially together and Tommy was realizing that you meant everything to him. You knew darkness and you knew what he does, you help him even. You weren't afraid of the dead. He loved the darkness, that's how he described you. He found your love for all things dark and scary, creepy even, romantic. He knew if he came home with blood on his shirt you wouldn't scare you. You had concern yes, but as long as the blood isn't his, that meant he was okay and that all you cared about.

This is why Thomas Shelby has decided it was time, time to ask you to be his wife, fill his home with dark spiky flowers, cut the heads off roses in the garden. Fill the place with your energy that seems to always calm him down. He knew it was time to ask. He had never felt so drawn and attached to another person. He needed you. 

Tommy took you to New York for the new year. Having business to deal with but also not wanting to be away from you for too long he figured this would be an opportune time. Staying a few weeks meant he had plenty of time to spend celebrating with you. 

Snow covered the ground and the buildings and kids were heading inside. You and Tommy were in a horse drawn sleigh heading home from dinner. Tommy had his arm slung over your shoulder, holding you to him while a blanket of furr sat across your laps. 

Smiling softly, you looked around as the snow fell softly around you in big flakes. Something about the cold snow and dead silence of the nights and the eerie feeling of the dark snow covered streets. Y/N loved it. Now, Tommy thought. You were almost to the hotel, and had been talking most of the ride already.  

Tommy admired you as you stared around them. “Would you like it if I bought one?” He offered with a small tease. Turning your attention to him, you give him a questioning look. “One of these, a sleigh?” he clarifies. 

“oh! “ You exclaimed. Thinking about it for a moment, finger tapping your chin lightly. “I think that would be lovely.” you say softly with a smile. “No more automobiles, we can take the sleigh out!” you declared. 

“Well love, I don’t think a sleigh will work out of winter.” Tommy chuckled softly. 

You let out a sigh and agree.“Yes dear I suppose you are correct.” you lean into him more, resting your head on his shoulder. 

With his other hand, Tommy reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small black velvet box, holding the box out in front of you he clears his throat.“Y/N, I have something I want to ask, eh?”

You look from the box to him with wide eyes, having to tilt your head.“Tommy?”

“Will you marry me, be my wife?” he asks softly, opening the box. Your attention was stolen by a gold banded ring decorated in black onyx sitting in gray silk. Three bigger gems sat in the middle, surrounded by smaller staggered ones on the sides. 

Softly you nodded your head. ”yes.” you said almost in a whisper. 

“Yes? You'll marry me then eh?” He confirms with a growing smile. 

Looking him in the eyes and nodding faster you had tears pricking the corner of your eyes. “Oh Tommy, look what you’ve done.” you whine with a smile as a tear rolls down your cheek, taking a small drag of black shadow down with it. “You’ve gone and made my makeup run.” you sniffle softly. 

Kissing the side of your head softly, Tommy smooths some of your hair down that was now getting frizzy from the slow. “Sorry love.” he says softly, holding you tighter to him. “Here take the glove off, let me put it on.” he says while taking the ring from its case.

Wiping a tear away you took off both your gloves, you wouldn't be putting them back on anyways. With your hand ready Tommy slipped the ring into your finger and it fit perfectly. “Tommy It's perfect, I love it.” you smile and kiss his jaw. “And I love you, Thomas Shelby.” 

The rest of the ride was spent kissing and admiring the ring, the rest of the night was spent making love and plans for the future. You will soon be a Shelby and somehow that didn't scare you a bit.

[abbatoirablaze]

Captain Penisi, Chapter 1

Word Count:  1.2k

Warnings:  some sexual thoughts.

“See, you have nothing to be worried about,” Vickie smiled as she nudged the newest young resident, “everyone loves you August!  You fit right in with the crew.”

“Thanks Mrs. McConky-“

“Vickie,” she corrected her, “it’s Vickie, sweetie.  Only people that have to call me Mrs. McConky are the people I don’t like.”

“Mrs. McConky,” a young nurse from the desk asked, walking up to the table.  Vickie shot the young doctor a wink and looked back to her, “your family came to visi-“

“Thanks Gretchen,” she smiled, giving her a smile.  She looked back to the young doctor, tapping her thigh, “come on, kiddo.  I want you to meet my family!”

“I-I wouldn’t want to impo-“

“Trust me you won’t,” she laughed, cutting her off.  She stood, grabbing her tray and started towards the trash can, “come on, sweetie.”

With a sigh, August grabbed her tray and began to follow after the nurse that had taken her under her wing.  The two of them dumped their trash and walked in a comfortable silence until they reached the entrance desk. 

August noticed two younger girls, who were probably in their early teens, as well as someone who looked a few years younger than herself, as well as two men.  One, who August had remembered being described as Vickie’s husband, was smiling brighter than his crisp white fire chief shirt when he noticed his wife. 

The other one made August hold her breath. 

Sure, he was definitely older than her, but he was cute.  Easily in his early 40’s, she wasn’t put off by the aura around him.  He gave off the ‘cool uncle vibes,’ but also a more hidden one.  One that made her want to bend over and call him daddy. 

“Auggie…”

She snapped out of her daydreams to see Vickie and her husband staring at her.

“O-oh, I’m sorry…I’m August!”

“Auggie…well, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Chief McConky smiled, holding out his hand.  August took it in her own to shake, “Vickie has sung your praises since the second you got into the hospital.”

“Oh-I-I’m nothing special, I-“

“Nonsense!” the large man smiled, waving her off, “Vickie here says you’re one of the few doctors that actually takes note of everyone…you don’t just go off on your own.  Listening to your co-workers is very important.  Right Eddie?”

“Huh?” he asked, shaken from his own thoughts, “yeah…whatever, Terry…”

“See, this dummy doesn’t pay attention to a word I say, and I’m his chief!” the man laughed. 

August watched as the two men began to bicker.  She was torn between laughing and breaking it up, but instead, chose to focus on Vickie.

“Anyways…these are my three daughters,” Vickie smiled, “Lucy, Kelsey, and Quinn.”

“I’ve heard so much about you guys!” she answered, “seriously, your mom talks about you guys all the time.”

“Yeah, mom’s mentioned you a lot too!” Lucy smiled, “sorry about Kelsey and Quinn…they’re super bummed they couldn’t go to the Tay Tay McVee concert tonight.”

“Right?” she sighed, her own shoulders dropping, “I was supposed to go with some friends, but they heard that Ring Ding Dong was going to be at Lava Fest, so they got tickets to that.  I really wanted to see her…but she’s sold out!”

“I have tickets!”

The girls looked over to Eddie, who had stopped his bickering with Terry. 

Eddie felt like his heart was racing. 

He didn’t know why he’d said that. 

“What?” Lucy asked, “You have tickets for a sold out show and didn’t tell us?”

“Y-yeah.  I totally have Tay Tay Macabee tickets.”

“It’s Tay Tay McVee Uncle Eddie!” Quinn said quickly.

“No way,” Kelsey argued, “they’ve been sold out for weeks!” 

“How did you manage to get tickets, Eddie?”

His eyes shot to his sisters.  She gave him a smug look as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

“I-I won them!” he lied, quickly trying to cover his tracks, “got wasted at a bar during their trivia night, and the prize was four Tay Tay tickets!”

“NO WAY!” Quinn yelled.

“Why didn’t you tell us, Uncle Eddie?” Lucy asked excitedly, “that’s awesome!”

“I didn’t know if you girls knew who she was,” Eddie lied, “I mean, I was at a bar.  I just assumed it wasn’t music you listened to!”

“Why didn’t you try to sell them?” Lucy asked, “scalpers are making bank getting their hands on tickets like that!”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “What’s with the twenty questions, huh?  Did you girls want to see Tay Tay Macabee or not?”

“Tay Tay McVee!” Quinn corrected once more.

“Yeah, whatever!” Eddie said quickly.

“I’m sure the girls would all love to go!” Vickie smiled as she put her arms over Lucy and Auggie’s shoulders, “right girls?  Could be a great way for you all to know each other.”

“I’m in!” Kelsey excitedly squealed.

“Me too!”

“Wanna go see Tay Tay McVee with us, Auggie?”

“Oh I’m so in!” she smiled, “Thanks uh-“

“Captain Penisi!” Eddie smiled, wanting to do more than just introduce himself to the girl, “Captain Eddie Penisi.”

“Thanks, Captain Penisi!”

“What do you mean?” Lucy asked angrily, “There is no way these tickets are fake!  My uncle won them at a trivia night!”

“Well sweetheart, you might want to go yell at the people that gave it to them, because these tickets are definitely fake!” The ticket taker proclaimed.  He was already looking past the girls, “Next!”

“No, this isn’t fair!” Kelsey proclaimed.

“We’re going in!” Quinn said, trying to push past the guy.

“SECURITY!”

“Quinn!” Auggie exclaimed, seeing the teenagers trying to push past the ticket taker, “Kelsey!”

“GUYS NO!” Lucy began, trying to grab at her sisters.

“WE WANNA SEE TAY TAY!”

“THEY PROMISED!”

“GUYS!”

“Well that was a shit show,” Auggie sighed as she ate yet another brownie with Lucy, “god…”

“You’re telling me,” she laughed as she bit down on her own confection, “I didn’t know my little sisters were that strong.”

“Fucking wild!” Auggie giggled.

“Wanna know what’s wild?” She asked, “how the hell did we get up here?”

August looked around.  They were on top of a roof, staring at the sky.  She giggled, “I don’t remember getting up here!”

“Me either…”

“Did it happen after we dropped off Kelsey and Quinn?” August asked. 

Lucy giggled, shrugging her shoulders, “I don’t know…but I do recognize where we are!  We’re on top of my dad and Uncle’s station!”

“What?” August giggled, “no way!  Why would we come here after we got high?”

“I don’t know,” Lucy shrugged, laying back down to look at the stars, “I mean-I’ve always loved this place.  Gamps was the chief here.  Now my dad…and my uncle is the fire captain.  I guess I’ve always wanted to be at station 24.”

“Lucy…you should be a firefighter!”

“What?” she asked, sitting back up.

“Lucy, you should apply to be a firefighter so that you can be one here!” August smiled at her friend, “I mean…it’s what you’ve always wanted, right?”

“Yeah!” she agreed, “it is…I want to be a firefighter…”

“You should do it, Lucy!”

“YEAH!  I’m going to apply tomorrow morning!” she grinned.  She reached over and pulled August to herself, “thanks Auggie!”

Chapter 2

[artandshid]

Eddie munson x flower child reader

Omg I love this idea so much and I had so much fun writing it. I think this may be one of my favorite writing that I ever did. Sorry it took so long, college and life get in the way a lot. Hope you enjoy though

Eddie watched her from the other side of the record store.

She had the most beautiful long curly hair, that was pushed back by a floral headband. She wore this long flowing skirt. She reminded him of a soft summers breeze. She was the epitome of a perfect sunny day at the lake. She gave him butterflies like he’s never had before.

He devised a plan to get closer to her. He was going to start off towards the end of the section that she was standing at. Slowly making his way over to her. And then hopefully, by God’s grace, she’ll say something to him before he has to work up the courage to talk to her.

At times like these he wishes he had some sort of game with girls.

He begins to browse through the albums, picking up a random one to make it seem like he’s sharing an interest.

He start moving closer to her, taking in her image up close, being discreet, of course.

He noticed her large glasses that were too big for her slender face. Her rosy cheeks. Her large eyes. She was an image for sure. An image of a beautiful, natural phenomenon that was sent as a gift from whatever higher power there may be.

He remembers hearing someone say that when you fall in love it’s like you can’t breathe. But that cannot be true because he’s sure he’s falling in love right now. And he feels like his lungs have never been clearer. Like just the sight of her beauty washed away the past 8 years of cigarettes and marijuana he’s inhaled.

“Peter, Paul and Mary? You don’t strike me as someone who listens to them.” Melodic. That’s the only word he could use to describe her voice. Melodic and smooth. It reminds him of honey.

She turns to smile at him and he swears that he’s in Heaven. The room got brighter and so did his world. If he doesn’t live past this day he could die a happy man just seeing her smile.

He realizes that she’s waiting for a response and he blushes hard. He looks down at the record he’s holding Peter, Paul and Mary’s, “Peter, Paul and Mommy”.

“O-oh, well, you know, I love music, and no it’s not my usual ch-choice of music, b-but I heard someone talking about them, and I was like oh c-cool maybe it’s something I would enjoy, but then I didn’t think much of it and I j-just came here today, looking for the new Ozzy album, but then I just found my way over here and picked this up, you know. I had a few extra bucks figured I’d try it out. You know why not? Anyways yeah.” He finally stutters out. One thing about Eddie. He’s a rambler, on a good day. So when he’s nervous, he talks a lot.

But you don’t seem to mind, thank God. In fact your smiling wider, now. You think he’s adorable. With his faded Iron Maiden shirt, big slop of brown frizzy hair, big wide doe eyes. The blush spreading over his cheeks and nose. He’s the prettiest man you’ve ever seen.

“It’s a really good album, I hope you like them a lot.” You smile again, you want to get to know him better, but you also don’t have good game. He’s just going to be someone you think about for the next few weeks.

As you turn to go he gets the sudden bravery to stop you, “Do you have any suggestions?” He says a little too loudly and he blushes again.

But you send another one of the groundbreaking, earth-shaking smiles and say, “From that album, first song, ‘The Marvelous Toy’, here take my number and when you listen you can tell me all about it.” You say with uncharacteristic confidence and hand him the paper on your way out of the store.

He stands there for a second looking at it and then goes to purchase the album to take home and listen, completely forgetting about the Ozzy album.

————————————————————————————

Eddie listens to the song over and over again. Thinking of the girl with the flowy skirt and large glasses.

One lyric stays in his head, “The moment I laid eyes on it, it became my hearts delight.”

The moment he laid eyes on you, he was in deep and he didn’t mind.

He quickly scrambled for the paper with your number on it and dials.

You pick up, “Hello?” you were hoping it was the man from the record store, but you didn’t want to feel disappointed.

“Hi, I loved the song. I loved the whole album actually. And I think I might be in love with you, now that I’m thinking about it. Oh, and by the way my names Eddie.”

☮️

[finkinthisfrew]

Anything (Pt.47)

"Really, I'm fine, you don't need to fuss," I said to Matty as he readjusted and tucked the blanket around me tighter for the fifth time in my wheelchair. "I'll have to take it off when I get up to get in the car in a minute anyways," I reasoned, but Matty ignored me.

"Is that too tight? Should I go back and grab you another?" Matty asked worriedly as the nurse wheeled me down the hall of the hospital and into the elevator.

"Matty, I promise, I'm fine," I replied as we halted to a stop inside the elevator doors.

"Promise?" he said leaning down, his eyes level with mine as he leaned his hand on the arm of my wheelchair, our faces only an inch or two apart. I could feel the warmth of his breath against my lips as his eyes peered into my mind searching for reassurance of my wellbeing. He was so caring.

"Pinky," I said with a little grin. With that, he beamed back at me, then kissed me sweetly on the lips. 

As the elevator door dinged open, the three of us headed out the doors of the hospital and straight to the car that waited to take us back to Matty's.

Once we reached the car, the driver got out to open the door for us. Matty promptly bent over and reached his arms under me.

"Matty! I can walk just fine!" I protested with a laugh as he scooped me up in his arms. 

"I'm not taking any chances," he said seriously before kissing me on the forehead and gently placing me in the backseat. Before I could do it myself, he took the seatbelt and clicked it in for me, adjusting the strap around me to make sure it wasn't too tight.

"I have a feeling this one's going to take better care of you than we did," chuckled the kind elderly nurse we'd befriended. She'd particularly taken a liking to Matty, but then again, who wouldn't?

"I can only dream of doing half as good a job as you, Agatha," Matty said kindly as he turned towards her with a devastatingly handsome smile, making her cheeks flush red with flattery as she waved him off with a breathless giggle. 

"Oh you're a good one, aren't you?" scolded the flustered woman as she wagged her finger at him.

"Not at all, Agatha, but striving to be," answered Matty with a wink. I had to stifle my own giggle when I saw her face turn even redder and swat at his arm as if to say 'Nonsense!'.

It had been so entertaining to watch Matty charm the staff on our floor. Everyone was completely taken by him from the moment they met him, enamoured by his endless charm and gentlemanly manner. Anyone who entered my room either left with scarlet-toned cheeks, or sputtering nonsense, including my doctor, who stuttered his farewell, leaving the room quickly to hide his pink face after discharging me. It was almost comforting to see that I wasn't the only one who was so easily breath taken by him.

After what could only be described as a very entertaining but adorable goodbye with Agatha, Matty hopped into the backseat next to me, pulling me close against him as we zoomed down the streets of London towards his flat. As I snuggled my head against the collar of his white button-up, I realized how oddly he was dressed for the occasion.

"Matty, don't take this the wrong way but... why are you so dressed up?" I asked curiously. Matty wasn't one to wear dress shirts casually, and it wasn't until now that I realized this was the first time I'd seen him wearing one in public that wasn't for a date.

"I came here straight from the concert last night," he said somewhat bashfully as he ran his fingers through his hair, then wrapped his arm around my shoulders, tucking me closer into his chest. 

"What?" I said pulling away to look up at him better. "Did you not stop by the hotel before getting on the plane?"

He shook his head gently. I looked at him bewildered and he simply shrugged.

"When did you book your flight," I asked in confusion.

"I didn't," he answered with a meek smile. "George did in the car last night while I was on the phone with Juliette in the ambulance. We drove straight from the venue to the airport."

I looked at Matty in disbelief. He raised his eyebrows and looked at me with a little smile, and I stared back incredulously before I finally let him pull me back into his chest.

"I'll never deserve you," I mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, breathing in his familiar scent, it's warmth spreading through my lungs like the comforting heat of a campfire.

"You're getting a pass because you're still in recovery, but if you say any more nonsense like that I promise I'm going to fuss over you ten times worse, so you better watch it, missy," Matty scolded me. I looked up at him to shoot him a playful glare, and he simply winked in response, making my insides melt a little.

When we reached Matty's flat, he wouldn't put me down until we reached his bedroom where he placed me gently on his bed. He pulled the duvet around me softly, then kissed both my cheeks tenderly before turning to walk into the bathroom. I could hear the faucet turn on, the familiar sound of the bathtub filling the bedroom where I lay.

I slowly pulled the duvet off of me, the weight of it straining my weak muscles, then swung my legs over the edge of the bed, stopping for a moment to catch my breath. I was already feeling better than I did when I first woke up this morning, but my body still felt horribly weak. Just as I began to push myself up off the bed, Matty reentered the room, gasping loudly at the sight of me.

"Nuh-uh!" he said hysterically as he ran over to me. "Nope! Don't even think about it! We're not doing this! The doctor said you needed to rest!" he scolded me as I rolled my eyes up at him.

"Matty, he didn't say I can't walk."

"Walking isn't resting," he said tenderly as he gently scooped me up in his arms again, ignoring my puff of annoyance.

"You're lucky I love being in your arms so much, or else I'd never let you act this crazy," I said, tapping his chin playfully as he walked us into the bathroom. 

"If loving you is crazy, then call a psychiatric hospital, because I need to be admitted immediately," he said as he nipped my finger gently, and then sat me down on the edge of the bathtub with a smile.

Only because I didn't have the energy to protest, I let him help me tug off the sweatpants and shirt Juliette had brought me to change into at the hospital. He was so patient and gentle with me, taking care to place kisses on each part of my skin as it became exposed, making me giggle when he nuzzled his way into my armpit. I swatted at him lightly as I laughed, earning a cheeky smile from him as I did.

After I finally settled into the suds-fille tub, I looked up at Matty who sat on the stool next to the tub and rolled up his sleeves before reaching for the shampoo bottle.

"Oh, Matty. Please come in with me," I begged as I looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Oh, don't worry about me," he waved me off casually with a furrowed brow, then popped open the cap.

"Matty, you haven't even changed since your concert last night, let alone bathed. Please come in. I know how sweaty you get on stage, I can only imagine how gross you must feel after that and a whole night's worth of travel," I said, placing a wet hand gently on his wrist.

"I feel fine, darling. Honestly. You're my priority right now," he said, his eyes wide with sincerity as he slipped his wrist out from under my hand and took it into his own before pulling it up to his mouth to place a kiss on my curled knuckles. His chocolate eyes bored into mine, making my heart flutter as he looked at me with such innocent candor. 

"Well, you're mine," I challenged, my eyes turning firey amidst my exhausted state. "Are you really going to deny what's most important to me in such a fragile state?"

He looked down at me, his internal struggle showing plainly on his face as I watched him chew the inside of his cheek in contemplation. His mouth turned into a thin line as he inhaled deeply, then sighed before standing up from the stool.

"Fine," he said as he began to unbutton his white shirt. "But you're not allowed to protest at me washing you. Not a peep, you hear me?" he said sternly with a raised eyebrow.

I smiled widely at him as I nodded, just happy that I'd have his arms around me once more so soon.

After he gently pushed me forward, and hopped into the tub behind me, lowering his naked body behind me, I leaned back against his chest, sinking into his touch. Using an empty cup, Matty poured the warm water over my head, careful to make sure none got in my eyes before he poured shampoo on my hair.

"You really don't need to do all this, Matty, I'm tired, not paralyzed," I began, but he cut me off right away. 

"Oh, hush! Let me pamper my patient!" he shushed me as he gently began to massage shampoo into my scalp making my eyes roll back into my head. A moan of pleasure escaped my lips and I could almost hear Matty's lips curl up into a smile of satisfaction at my response. 

"In all my years, I've never had such a difficult, fussy patient before," he said, trying to sound serious, winning a stifled giggle from me. "I doubt Agatha would protest this much at a free sponge bath," he said cheekily into my ear, making my giggle turn into a hearty laugh. As I laughed, he pressed a kiss into the sudsy skin of my temple.

"You're always taking care of me in this tub," I said a little while later to Matty with a sigh of happiness, "since the first day we met," I added teasingly.

"And I'm always the one causing you to end up in here," he said dejectedly, his chin brushing against my head as he shook his head in frustration.

"Well, that's not true,"  I said as my brow creased in confusion. "You weren't even there last night- that had nothing to do with you."

"But it was, Anna. It was my fault," he said defeatedly, his voice soft in my ear.

I turned and scowled at him, confused by what he meant, but he just nodded at me.

"It was. If I hadn't pushed you to go last night, this never would have happened," he said in a low voice, his eyes looking away in embarrassment. 

"Matty," I said softly as I reached my hand out to cup his cheek. "You know that's not true. Please tell me you know that's not true," I said, my face turning into a look of pain.

"I know..." he sighed heavily, "I know it's not, but I can't help but feel like it's my fault. You didn't want to go, and I pushed you to anyways-"

"-and for good reason! I've been living here for months and if it weren't for you, I still wouldn't have any friends!" I returned persistently.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be getting you upset, you need to be relaxing," he said as his brown furrowed, angry with himself. He tried to pull me back against him, but I stayed firm, and he let me stay upright looking at him, not wanting to overpower me.

"Matty, it's not your fault someone drugged me. You can't blame yourself for what that scumbag did to me. His choices aren't yours," I said as he wiped a bit of shampoo from my forehead delicately with his thumb, his worried eyes still looking at me doubtfully. I paused for a moment, unsure of if I should say what I wanted to say next. After thinking about it for a moment, I decided it was important. It was important that Matty understood. I took a deep breath and held his stare as I spoke softly.

"You wouldn't blame me for what happened with Lucas just because I decided to date him, would you?"

Matty frowned, shaking his head as he processed my words. I could tell he was struggling with removing the blame from himself, but slowly he began to accept it.

"Of course not," he said softly. "Never."

I leaned towards him, looking down at his lips, then back up into his pained eyes.

"You can't always keep me safe, Matty," I began as my lips hovered over his. Before he could interject, I continued. "But I will always love you for trying."

"Always," he breathed as his lips grazed mine. "Until my dying day."

Our lips met and we kissed. I felt myself floating as he pressed his love into me, his arms wrapping around me tenderly. I was enveloped in his love, and I never wanted it to end.