#like she really had to put all parts of herself back together to survive

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

there are so many references to how utterly broken by [redacted] she was in the events leading up to what unfolds on TTPD that I genuinely don't understand how some people don't understand how completely devastated and exhausted she was until she snapped idk

[moesthoughts]

I didn't even request it but Loved her safe space! Could you do a pt2 of it with soft smut maybe???? Add whatever you want thankssss :)))))

Her safe space 2.

pairing ⛧ shauna shipman x fem! reader

warning ⛧ fingering r! giving, slight praise kink, cannibalism mentions

summary . . After establishing your relationship with Shauna, you find yourself tucked away in your shared hut longer than usual. After another tough day, Shauna comes to you seeking a different kind of comfort.

part one

It hasn’t been long since you and Shauna professed your feelings to each other, since then you promised to keep your relationship a secret. You both knew it was the best. You’d rather be sneaking around in secret than getting looks from people, and hearing rumors that aren’t true. Though, it was hard not being to express yourself for who you really are. Before the crash you pictured the wilderness as a perfect camping spot, somewhere you could be free and not care what others think.

Yet here you are, in the middle of nowhere. Currently dating the one girl everyone either hates or is afraid of. But it was the least of your worries, because you know the Shauna underneath all that malice. She always gives you that same sweet, innocent look she hasn’t had since the spring, and that’s all you needed. All you wanted was for Shauna to feel seen, heard. Noticeably, it’s made her calm down substantially, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed. The girls came to you for advice, advice on how to calm her down during an argument or at least get her off their backs. You’d always shrug your shoulders, Van said you must have the magic touch.

And hell yeah you did, because every time you and Shauna would make out, she’d melt under your touch, lean into your hands when they cupped her cheeks. You tamed a wild animal, and that is your greatest accomplishment here. Not surviving the hunts, the cannibalism, and the constant destruction that happened here. But being in a relationship with someone you longed for since you were just girls excited for your next soccer game, someone who is feared throughout your community. You were just surprised nobody has found out your dirty little secret.

It really has been a hell of a day, lately, you can’t keep up with your team. Being together for so long, doing unimaginable stuff to survive. You knew that trust would slowly dwindle throughout the group, the animalistic hunts you’d perform just to eat something, and worst of all, how long you all kept Coach Scott around. It makes you sick to your stomach, you admire Nat for how brave she is, but the others don’t see eye to eye with her, and neither does your girlfriend.

You are in your shared hut, reading the book you must’ve read 100 times over. The pages are slightly burnt from the fire that happened at the cabin, it feels like years passed by since that occurred. You’re happy with the community that Nat and everyone else helped to build though, it almost feels like another home. As you flip the pages, you start to wonder where Shauna is, she’s usually here by now. Since she was crowned the “Antler queen”, she’s been busy, you know that all too well. A sigh escapes your lips as you put your book down, and boredom settles in.

The wilderness must’ve heard your prayers, because here comes Shauna Shipman into your hut, her eyebrows knitted together. You can tell something is wrong, you are always able to tell. The way she’s huffing, slipping her shoes off so aggressively, and the way her eyes are filled with anger. You put a hand on her leg before she can bury herself even deeper into her frustration, you feel her stop suddenly, slowly sitting down in front of you. She averts her gaze, looking towards the dirt at the bottom of your hut.

“What’s the matter?”

Your tone is soft, and so is your gaze. Shauna huffs again, her sharp eyes landing on you, you feel your stomach flip, that look was never a good sign. It’s almost everyday that your girlfriend has a rough day, and then comes into your shared hut at night seeking your lips, your skin on her palms, her teeth on your neck. Your fingers scratch her knee, trying to comfort her, but you can’t deny you are also eager to feel her all over you again.

“This team is fucking hopeless, they need to listen to me if they want to survive out here.”

There it is, that poisonous tone everyone is so familiar with. You take a deep breath and peer out of the stick walls of your hut, the warm light from the fire, everyone seems to be discussing something, the problem being that Shauna isn’t there to put in her piece. Your eyes trail back onto the girl in front of you, you scoot towards her. Her breath hitches once you move in between her legs, your hands touching her neck oh so gently.

“You must be so angry, Why don’t I take your mind off of it?”

Your tone is sweet like honey, and you have Shauna dissolving in your hands already. A smile perks up on her lips, she closes the gap between you, its hungry, likes she’s been craving you for the whole day. Which she has, she’s been imagining her fingers curling around your waist, your bare skin being all she can see, her thoughts are filled with only you, pleasing you, you pleasing her. Her face dusts in a pretty red, her hands already starting to wander farther than they usually do. You pull away from the kiss, desperately trying to catch your breath.

“Tell— Tell me what you want me to do.”

You notice how she perks up hearing your idea, her eyes wander your body, and she seems lost in thought. A warm feeling spreads through your core, embarrassing little noises escape your lips as her hands explore your body. She obviously knows what she’s doing to you, how your panties are growing wet from how much she’s teasing you.

“Undress, then help me undress.”

You act immediately, slipping off your top with ease. You smile watching her eyes trained on your half-undressed body, you unbutton your shorts next, kicking them off your feet. You’re left in a bra and underwear, Shauna drinks in the sight, checking you out. You can’t deny how excited it made you. She grabs your wrists, guiding you to the bottom of her t-shirt. Your fingers curl underneath the fabric, dragging it over her head. You pause for a second, she is absolutely beautiful. You don’t want to keep her waiting for long, so you slip off her pants soon after, almost too desperately. Shauna smirks at your neediness. You follow her as she lays down, and your leg swings over to the other side of her body instinctively.

“Now.. Touch me.”

A shameless tone laces her voice, her hand guiding yours to her panties. You take a shaky breath before shuffling off of her, opening her legs. You get an eyeful of how wet she is already, you smooth over her clothed cunt causing her to let out a soft noise. You dip under her panties, sliding them off with ease. Shauna bites her lip while studying your actions, melting into your touch. The way your hand caresses her inner thigh, how your eyes are filled with nothing but love. She’s in control, but she feels so vulnerable. You know well that she trusts you with everything, trusts you enough to open her legs for you, and that’s what makes your heart ache. Your finger circles her clit slowly, drawing out quiet moans and whimpers.

“Does this feel good?”

Shauna nods fast, her nails cutting into the makeshift mattress underneath her. Your fingers trail down her slit before you experimentally pushing a finger into her enterance. Her breath becomes shaky, as she lays her head down on the pillow. She presses her lips together to keep quiet, knowing that there’s still people out there that can easily catch you both. Though, she wants you to know how good you feel inside her, she hates having so little privacy. She would be loud if everyone knew you guys are in a relationship, but unfortunately it’s under lock and key. Her eyes widen as you push another finger in, slowly starting to pump in and out of her.

“Fuck.. faster.”

Another order slips from her mouth and you are quick to follow it, she rolls her hips into you as your pace increases, fingers curling at her sweet spot. You squeeze your thighs together, desperate for some kind of friction of your own. Seeing your girlfriend under you, getting off on your fingers, you could practically finish just off of the sight. You bring your thumb to her clit, tapping on it, seeking some kind of approval to continue touching her like some sheep. You are a follower for her, submitting so easily to her words. Your thumb rubs her bundle of nerves once a million yeses come from her mouth. You increase your speed, noticing how she’s approaching her release. Her quiet moans become desperate, her fingers almost digging into the dirt under the blankets. The tears in her eyes are so perfect, she looks so pretty.

Finally, she comes around your fingers. You continue until she’s finished, pulling out of her soon after. She catches her breath, her mind dizzy thinking about how you fucked her so well. She sits up to meet you, her lips pressing onto yours, so gentle, so sweet. You smooth over her cheek, a smile forming on your face.

“You did so good, you’re such a good girl.”

Shauna whispers through small pecks on your lips, causing your face to flush a soft hue of red. This reminded you of how much you love Shauna, how much you’ve longed to be with her. She slowly lays you down on your back, breath hot on your neck.

“Now, let me make you feel good.”

HII THANK YOU FOR REQING THIS, i just love writing soft smut !! Also yes I think her safe space has been one of my fave yellow jackets works so far 🤞

req me!

masterlist

[devoted-horror]

giving the new survivor hatch.

a/n: this is my first time writing for dbd in general, so!! i hope i do this game justice bc i play it every day lol

includes: the huntress, the trickster, the ghostface, the artist, the cannibal.

warnings: not proofread, typical dbd stuff like blood, mentions of murder, things like that, gn reader, love at first sight but only if u tilt ur head and squint really hard, inconsistent length, im going to be so delusional over jiwoon im sorry, i can't speak russian or korean so i just used a bunch of translators sorry if i got smth wrong, inaccurate behavior of dbd crows but relatively accurate behavior of irl crows i think, scream reference in danny's part bc i had to, reader injury in jiwoon and danny's parts, written over the course of a few months so sorry if the pacing is weird.

THE HUNTRESS

Anna has been in the fog long enough that every face of everyone she's ever killed has started to merge together into one. She doesn't know their names, and hardly ever reacts whenever she encounters a new survivor.

Mercy is not something she shows during trials. She is a hunter, and anyone who crosses her path, be it man or animal, is her prey. Nothing in the wild is merciful.

And you were nothing more than another person for her to hunt, prey for her to kill. And trust me, she was going to kill you.

Or, at least, she was.

And then you dropped a pallet on her. Now, normally, Anna would get very angry when this happens. Her prey is fighting back, and though it gives her a thrill, it's annoying. And for a brief moment, she did feel angry the moment the pallet hit her.

But then you were apologizing, a look of genuine guilt on your expression. You even asked if she was bleeding. Your survival instincts were lacking, clearly, but Anna found that to be... oddly endearing??

She felt a surge of protectiveness spark within her, something she had never felt during her time here. It was a familiar feeling, yet one so foreign at the same time.

But how could she not feel such a way when you were staring up at her, clearly scared that she was going to hurt you yet brave enough to stand in front of her and apologize for something that, by all means, you should have done.

Anna just stares you down for a long moment, having an internal struggle with herself on what she should do with you. Ultimately, her need to protect overruled her need to hunt, because after breaking the pallet between the two of you, she made a gesture for you to follow her.

And, not wanting to die, you did.

She took you to a shack, something you've heard other survivors refer to as the killer shack. The only reason you knew this is because you were told to stay away from it unless you wanted to get put in the basement.

She just pointed to one of the corners of the building, and looked over at you, "Оставайся здесь." And you didn't immediately understand her, though you were quick to pick up on what she was telling you. It seemed as if she wanted you to stay here.

Your safest bet on surviving was doing what she said, so you just nod and awkwardly place yourself in the corner she had been pointing at. She doesn't spare you another glance as she leaves you alone.

You're not sure how long you stayed there. You could hear the other survivors screams though, and you felt sick to your stomach at the sound of them being hooked and sacrificed to the Entity. They probably won't be too happy about this the next time you see them...

It was only when you were the last one standing that Anna came back to retrieve you. She found you exactly where she had left you, and even though you couldn't see her face due to the rabbit mask, she seemed rather pleased that you had actually listened to her.

If she had it her way, Anna would keep you by her side. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. The Entity would probably force the trial to end if you didn't either escape or die.

She begrudgingly brought you to hatch, the black mist pouring from it, silently promising safety if you jumped into it. You stared at it, confused about what it was, and that protectiveness she was feeling only seemed to grow stronger when you looked up at her for an explanation. The only explanation she offered was a slight gesture to you, and then the hatch.

"Иди, кролик." She says, lightly pushing you to the hatch and watching as you hesitantly decide to trust her, jumping into the hatch and leaving her alone as the fog comes and places her back in the Red Forest.

If she's lucky, she'll be in a trial with you again soon.

THE TRICKSTER

He'll immediately recognize you to be new. He prides himself in recognizing every survivor he's encountered, either by their face or by the sound of their screams. Mostly their screams.

And he certainly didn't recognize the scream he heard when one of his throwing knives ricocheted and hit you while he was chasing down another one of the newer survivors; Sable. It was a small, startled scream, nothing worth his attention, but it was new. That was enough to make this trial more exciting, and he found himself keeping his eyes peeled for you.

Which... was a lot easier than he expected it to be, because you just kept running right into him. Seriously. Did you not pay attention to your surroundings? Do you think he's a survivor?? Do you not see the bloodied fucking bat he's holding???

He's not sure if he's annoyed or amused by this. Partially both, to be honest. It's amusing to see you relax for a split second after bumping into him, not recognizing him to be the killer immediately. It's annoying because he'd like to hear you scream, please and thank you.

Jiwoon doesn't necessarily target you during the trial. To be honest, he's trying to weed out the other survivors before focusing his attention on you.

He wanted to take his time with you, to see what sounds he could pull out of you before the Entity forced the trial to end. Just the sound of you gasping whenever you bump into him has his mind racing.

This was honestly enough to keep him motivated throughout the entire trial, a certain bloodlust sparking in him. He relished the sound of everyone else's screams, but they weren't appealing to him right now.

He needed the other survivors out of the way. He needed you alone. And when he finally got rid of the last pesky survivor, the fun began.

And when he corners you in killer shack, he really didn't plan on being merciful. He wanted to hear you scream, and then he wanted to kill you, really. That was his plan.

The only way you'd get out of this alive is if you beg, honestly. And I mean beg. On your knees, crying, pleading, offering something in return for your survival. That sort of begging.

You were new and shiny in comparison to all of the other survivors, and maybe it's because he's a sadistic bastard, but he really does adore the sight of you on your knees, crying as he absently nicks your skin with one of his throwing knives.

This is where Jiwoon feels a bit torn, truth be told. He's never been a patient man, so he wants to get as many screams out of you as he can before the Entity forced the trial to end. But at the same time, he knew he'd see you again in a future trial, sooner or later.

It wouldn't hurt to prolong his time with you, would it?

The entire time he's pondering this, he's dragging the blade across your skin, relishing in the sweet sounds of your gasps and whimpers, and you stutter out a desperate 'please'.

Ultimately, Jiwoon decides to be nice, just this once. He'll mutter a quiet, "짜증나..." before hoisting you over his shoulder and carrying you off.

You struggled, obviously, assuming he was ending your misery and taking you to a hook. He didn't really mind much, having an iron grasp on you that kept you from wiggling free.

He dropped you right next to the hatch once he found it, finding your small pained sound to be adorable as you look at your salvation with a confused expression. But before you can crawl into it and escape, he's grabbing you by the back of your shirt and pulling you back a bit.

For a moment, you think he's going to kill you, and you squeeze your eyes shut, expecting pain. But nothing comes. You feel him tuck something in your shirt, and he lightly pats your cheek, cooing a bit at your terror before he lets you go and leaves you alone.

And when you're back at the campfire, you find a photo of Jiwoon neatly folded and tucked into your shirt, signed with his autograph.

He'll have an encore the next time he sees you, and you can only hope you don't find yourself in a trial with him again any time soon.

THE GHOSTFACE

Would actually never give you hatch under normal circumstances. He's here to kill, so kill he shall. He treated you the same as any other survivor when he first saw you, though it wasn't until he was in chase with you that he realized how interesting you were.

For one, you were... surprisingly good at looping him?? For a newbie, he was rather impressed. That's not enough to get him to let you live, but it's definitely a start.

No, his interest is only truly piqued when you start quoting horror movies during chase.

Honestly, if he didn't know any better, he'd think you to be flirting with him. A person after his heart, truly.

It was only when he had you cornered that you really caught his attention. You weren't scared, and it intrigued him as much as it annoyed him.

He was just itching to dig his knife into you and take a photo of your lifeless corpse once he was finished. But even with your life at risk, you showed no fear.

Hell, you even mocked him.

"No, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel."

Sure, you weren't the first survivor to mock him, and you certainly won't be the last, but he found you interesting.

Oh, he needed to kill you. He needed your photo in his collection, it would be his favorite.

But he thought it would be more fun to humor you. Danny was a patient man. This isn't the first time he's drawn out a kill.

You were honestly surprised that he had left you alone. You didn't think that would actually work, and you were... a bit concerned, actually. None of the other killers you had ended up in a trial with during your short time here has entertained you the way Danny has, and you're not sure if you should be scared or not.

And, much to your very hesitant relief, you didn't see him for the rest of the trial. You knew he was watching you though. Every once in a while, you just felt... you're not quite sure how to describe it, but it almost felt as if you were being hunted.

You'd see him from the corner of your eye though. Never for long, just quick flashes of his screaming mask. Honestly, you felt less scared when he was actively trying to murder you.

That's how the rest of the trial went for you, at least. Until eventually, you were the only one left standing. You may be new, but the other survivors had given you the rundown of what to do if you were the last one standing before the trial had started.

You had to find hatch. Which was... easier said than done, truthfully. Especially since you weren't sure where the fuck Danny was. There's no way he was letting you go, right? He's probably saving you for last, right?

Whenever you so much as caught a glimpse of something moving, you were scurrying in the other direction.

This is pretty much Danny's way of giving you hatch. There's no way he'd give it to you directly, not yet.

You had honestly thought you had found it all by yourself until you were fucking stabbed, the flash of a camera in your face blinding you.

Truth be told, Danny did plan on killing you. He had wanted to give you a false sense of hope. But your stupid little smile when you saw hatch got to him, okay? So he'll settle for this for now.

"You owe me."

And he doesn't even spare you a glance as he pushes you into the hatch's mist, his gaze intently focused on the photo of you he had just taken.

Unfortunately for you, you've caught his attention.

THE ARTIST

Carmina is one of the more merciful killers you may come across, so she'd be fairly likely to give a new survivor hatch depending on how the trial has gone and whether or not she's consumed by anger.

She only realizes that you're new to the fog when her crows surround you and you don't try shooing them away. When she finds you, you're actually... rather content having a murder of crows surrounding you.

Very very confused. She'll probably just stare at you for a hot second as you go about the trial without a single care for the crows swarming around you. Even the crows are confused.

You distract her long enough with your antics that a good chunk of the gens pop, and she had to force herself to leave you be in order to focus on hunting the other survivors.

She'll ignore you for the entire trial after she leaves you be. Her crows can keep watch for her.

So for the rest of the trial she's only vaguely aware of your location, occasionally stopping once in a while to determine whether or not her crows were still with you. They were.

Even the other survivors seemed confused by your behavior.

On the rare occasion that she bumped into you during the trial, it was always when another survivor was nearby trying to tell you how to get rid of the crows.

You never even tried to shoo away the crows throughout the entire trial, and at some point, they stopped swarming around you. They didn't go away, no. You, somehow, managed to tame Carmina's crows with little trinkets that you found littered across the place.

Honestly, the crows seemed to like you enough that even if Carmina told them to hurt you, they probably wouldn't listen to her. It's hard to believe that you were a new survivor with how calm you were about everything happening.

It's probably that calm nature, coupled with your ability to calm her crows, that solidified in her mind that you were the only one who would make it out alive.

And with a newfound determination, Carmina sacrificed the other three survivors with no issues, and she could hear hatch opening not too far away from her.

With the help of her crows, Carmina was able to easily bring you to hatch, and she could only tilt her head to the side and make a small, croaking sound as you smiled and thanked both her and her crows before jumping into the hatch.

This is one of the many moments Carmina laments no longer being able to create art. She'd love to immortalize the image of you smiling at her, surrounded by her crows.

THE CANNIBAL

Bubba is honestly torn when he spots you, because you look so afraid, cowering in fear at every little sound and struggling to repair a generator like the others had told you to. He understands your fear because it's something he's very familiar with.

And while he has a job to do, not wanting to disappoint the Entity, he can't help but find it hard to hurt you. No matter how hard it was, Bubba had no choice.

But when he approached you, you didn't run. Sure, you let out a startled shout, the generator blowing up in your face as you stared up at him like a scared animal, quietly begging him not to hurt you.

But you didn't run.

How could he hurt you when you weren't running from him? Everyone always ran. But not you. You weren't running from him, and he didn't know what to do about that.

Bubba's trouble was so very evident. He's always been an expressive person, so it wasn't hard to tell that this was stressing him out. His free hand kept clenching and unclenching his apron, and he kept making small noises in the back of his throat.

He doesn't want to disappoint the Entity, he doesn't. But he's not sure if he can hurt someone who's not running from him. You aren't running! He really likes that! The only people who never ran when he was around were his family!

The nail in the coffin is when you, even despite your fear, took a chance and set down the toolbox you were holding. You... you gave him a gift. Not one that he could use, but a gift nonetheless.

There was literally no way he could hurt you now the guilt would eat him alive. So, he just opts to leave you be to instead focus on the other survivors. He wouldn't feel guilty hurting them.

The entire trial, Bubba focuses all of his attention on getting rid of the other survivors. If he sees you, he gets all nervous and can't even look at you for long without babbling incoherently before scurrying away.

Some of the other survivors may pick up on Bubba's strange avoidment of you, and may even use that to their advantage by running by you in chase because Bubba just... he can't hurt you, I'm sorry.

He's swinging his chainsaw, and then suddenly Kate is running by you and he's coming to a full stop out of fear of accidentally hurting you.

It really stresses him out, and even though you're still scared of him, and even though he's supposed to be killing you, you can't help but feel bad. So whenever the other survivors got a little too close when Bubba was chasing them, you always made sure to stay out of his way.

It's okay to be a bad teammate because it's Bubba.

Jokes aside, Bubba takes his job as a killer very seriously. He may avoid hurting you, but he makes quick work of the other survivors.

And when hatch opened right next to Bubba after killing the third survivor, he took it as a sign from the Entity that he was meant to give it to you. Why else would it open next to him?

Bubba was ever the gentleman when he brought you to hatch, guiding you to it carefully and making sure you didn't trip on any debris littered across the area.

He even scared off a few judgmental crows! He knew how off-putting it was to have them watching you all the time, especially when you're new in the fog.

And when you quietly thank him, smiling at him as if he weren't a killer, Bubba was just over the moon.

It's been so long since he's had someone to protect. The fog is a scary place to be but he'll do his best to make it a happy place whenever you two are in a trial together.

Оставайся здесь. - Stay here. Иди, кролик. - Go, rabbit. 짜증나. - How annoying.

[xelasrecords]

Touch My Soul

Sylus x MC (NSFW)

It’s kind of hot of Sylus to come back dripping in blood. MC wrestles between jumping his bones and taking care of him.

A/N: Being taken care of by your lover after a long day has got to be one of my favourite things to write. Endless Nightmare, Thank You for the Food, Locus of Pain, and The Love We Live For deal with this from different angles, yet I never get bored. Here’s one more.

Words: 3.3k

Masterlist | Read on AO3

Black and red particles swirled into a hulking figure of a man in the middle of her living room. A familiar iron tang assaulted her senses. The said man was drenched in crimson, beads of blood dripping down his tattered shirt and fingertips.

Her heart leapt to her throat as she slammed her magazine on the couch and scanned for open wounds. Sylus was doing it again. Asking for trouble or being the trouble itself. But he was folding his arms with mild interest, and his lips still retained their colour. He wasn’t limping or wincing in pain. There was no other telltale sign of exhaustion after an intensive self-healing process. The blood must not be his.

She felt herself deflated in relief.

“Worried about me?” Sylus cocked his head to the side.

She threw her arm on the back of the couch and leaned back. “I’m admiring the view. What an honour it is to see you oozing sex appeal.”

“I’m oozing blood.”

“Which isn’t yours,” she said pointedly. A small stutter in her mind pleaded that it indeed wasn’t.

Sylus smirked. “Clever.”

Good enough. Sylus wouldn’t lie to her.

“You should be covered in blood more often.” She shifted her hair so it cascaded down one shoulder and exposed the slope of her neck on the other side. “It really gets me going.”

It earned her a deep chuckle from Sylus. She decided then that acting on the thrill down her backbone as soon as possible was the best option. His angled jaw was smeared with blood, but his red eyes never lost their predatory glint. He had come out a victor from what seemed like a brutal brawl. She wished she had been there. Watching Sylus in action paved a swift path to her sensual fantasies.

“A Hunter approving of crimes,” he said. “The Onychinus application is ready whenever you want to fill it.”

She crooked her finger, gesturing Sylus to come nearer. “I never said whose blood it would be.”

Sylus stalked towards her at a leisurely pace and bent to her level. “You wish to put another bullet through me?”

“You’ll survive.”

“Are you trying to test how formidable my heart is for you?” He knotted his fingers with hers and pressed his lips against the inside of her wrist. It was a brush that made her pulse thrum with need. “Quite a sadistic streak you possess there.”

“You have corrupted me.”

“Pledge innocence all you want, kitten. You’re not fooling anyone.” For a moment, his stare glazed over as if he was thinking about something she hadn’t gained the privilege to be a part of. But his attention honed in on her again in the next second. “Besides, I recall you were aiming for the kill in our first interaction.”

“I literally thought you murdered my grandmother and friend.”

“And where did that blind assumption get you?”

She sent her resonance through their clasped hands, and a shiver of pleasure passed through them. “To you here with me.”

It had been weeks since they last met. She was starved for Sylus and his devotion so total that she couldn’t bring herself to think of anything but him. While they were still bonded, she also seized the opportunity to prod against his internal system, searching for hidden injuries. Sylus’s shoulders dropped in understanding, and he shook his head slightly.

Sylus was always in danger. She was in no position to save him when he was more than capable of doing it on his own, but she worried on his behalf. Sylus shouldn’t push the boundaries of his invincibility and return bearing mortal wounds. He should stay alive. If he came back shattered, she would gather his broken parts and patch him back together.

Sylus was hers. Hers to ruin and hers to fix. The only place he could fall on his knees was by her feet. Not the soil, not the battlefield. As long as she was around, she would not let him break down and dissolve as one with the wind. He would live. She would give her life to ignite his.

She could only wish Sylus wouldn’t tire of her too soon. That she wasn’t like his other worldly possessions. This, she had to believe.

Sylus grasped her hand tighter and sent back a deluge of desire that rivalled hers. He held her chin up and caressed the column of her neck. “I have missed you as well.”

She smiled and leaned in. Sylus almost got to kiss her, but she pushed him back at the last minute. She trailed her finger down his torn shirt, her freshly manicured nail grazing his chest. Only on her off-days could she maintain perfect nails. “I’ll draw a bath for you.”

Sylus took a sharp inhale. “And wash away my sex appeal?” He dropped his stained blazer to the rug, blood seeping into the red and gold weaving.

She frowned at his offensive movement.

That was her rug. Her magnificent oriental rug that was handcrafted for an empress from hundreds of years ago. She had gone to many auctions to locate and secure this artwork. Not even Sylus would be forgiven if he ruined it.

She kicked his damned blazer to the floor. Wooden floorboards could be replaced. Sylus was a man of abundant resources. “Stop bleeding on my rug.”

He seemed affronted, more from the loss of her touch rather than her abject horror. “I’ll replace it with a new one.”

“That’s vintage. The weaver is dead. You of all people should know the value of art from a bygone era.”

Sylus perked up at the mention of the dead artist. “Resurrection is a fascinating experiment. Would you like to test the limits of my Evol?”

The antique collector in him was not comprehending the direness of this situation.

She crossed her arms. “I don’t want to handle the logistics of tracking down her corpse, which I’m sure you’ll pull me along for.”

“Skipping out on fun, I see.” Sylus snapped his fingers. “Ta-da, blood is cleaned. Satisfied?”

She prostrated herself until her forehead almost touched the rug and glared at Sylus. “You didn’t repair it right. The colouring is off.”

“I’ll have it sent for the most delicate restoration so it will be as good as old.” Sylus assumed a formal bow and extended a bloodied hand. “Will that appease you, my lady?”

“Only if you guarantee its safe delivery.”

“Luke and Kieran will be its dedicated protectors throughout the process.”

She frowned. “You can take a twin. Two rug bodyguards are excessive.”

“I promise you they’d prefer gallivanting off for arbitrary missions than doing the paperwork they’re due,” said Sylus.

She appraised him, and he arched his brows. When she was convinced she could hold him and his army of two accountable, a wide smile graced her face. She accepted Sylus’s hand and caught the muscles in his forearm pulling taut as he dragged her up her feet. It stoked the fire in the pit of her stomach.

“My heart is soothed.” She squeezed his arm for a good measure. Still as firm as she remembered. Marvellous. She couldn’t wait for him to put it around her chest as he stood behind her. “Come on.”

Sylus chuckled and eyed her with a knowing glance.

She led him to the guest bathroom while blocking out his complaints. A low-hanging cabinet would only be Sylus’s arch-enemy if he let it. Some things were a matter of state of mind. It was his fault for exceeding the average design layout height.

As she waited for the warm water to fill the bathtub, she put exactly zero effort into masking her ogling of the fine statue of the man who was tinkering with his shirt.

“I’m starting to wonder if I should charge per view,” Sylus said without looking up.

“Are you going to strip?” Excitement was prominent in her voice and smile and posture. Everything, really.

Sylus choked out a laugh and spread his arms. “A little help, then?”

Patient, she was not. She wrestled with the damaged buttons, but some of them were so tangled with the fabric that she just ripped them off. The shirt dangled open, revealing the defined pack of muscles that she had been itching to see in their whole glory. The dried streaks of blood that trickled down his navel certainly contributed to the view.

She did love being a Hunter trained for strength.

“That is vintage,” accused Sylus.

She helped him shake the shirt off. “If it’s that precious, you wouldn’t have worn it to fight your enemies.”

“You have a habit of assuming the worst of me. I could have been ambushed. Ever think of that?”

She clicked her tongue. “Were you?”

“Nope,” Sylus popped the word smugly. He disintegrated his trousers and underwear in a snap, and she had to practice immense self-control from roving her hands all over his body.

Her eyes had no such restraint, though.

Sylus stood straighter and placed his hand on her waist, pressing her against his crotch. She jutted her chin forward. It would be so easy to toss her clothes off and go for a round, but she didn’t want to give Sylus easy things. He had to earn it. With a sly smile, she nipped the underside of his jaw and dragged him towards the bathtub, pushing his shoulders to lie down instead.

Sylus chuckled but relented. He sank into the warmth and tipped his head back. Plumes of pink clouded the water as steam rolled up their faces. She knelt beside the tub and lathered his arms with soap, carving out the blood from under his nails with meticulous precision. The soap was floral-scented. She had kept it in stock ever since she noticed Sylus had a fondness for flowers.

“Close your eyes,” she murmured. She scooped water to his head and worked the shampoo into the silver strands of his hair.

There was an open tenderness on his expression, one that Sylus only wore around her. He might not have let her in completely yet, but this allowance of vulnerability was already an improvement. She was willing to practice being patient for this.

She massaged the tough knots in Sylus’s shoulders, and he let out a contented sigh. “I never knew you had such dexterous hands,” he said.

��Really.”

He peeked at her and knew both of them were picturing the last time she stayed over at Onychinus base. “All right, perhaps I have some idea.”

“I’d be offended if it turns out that you were pretending to enjoy my service.”

“There is no pretence when it comes to you. I relish everything you give me.”

She slid her hand down to where his heart was. It was soothing to feel it drumming against her palm. Sylus was alive and breathing and fine. She had not lost him. “Even the gunshot here?”

Sylus sighed and covered her hand with his own. “Especially that.”

Something in his tone constricted her lungs. “I don’t enjoy wounding you, you know,” she said in a small voice. “The things I said earlier were in jest.”

“I’m aware.” Sylus smiled. “Actions speak louder than words. You’re arm-deep in bloodied water and sitting on hard tiles for me, so how could I not know?”

She worked in silence for a while; the sound of water sloshing was the sole interruption. It was nice being with Sylus like this. He didn’t need her to do anything to amuse him. He didn’t need her to work for his acceptance despite the tests he lobbed at her when they just got to know each other. She had a feeling they never truly mattered. She was finally within his reach and Sylus’s world was righted on its axis again.

“Did you think of me when I was gone?” asked Sylus.

Water had soaked through her top. It was a good thing she wore shorts. Sopping fabric sticking to her skin was a supremely unpleasant sensation. “If I deny it?”

He pushed himself up and twisted to look at her. “I’d deny your denial.”

“How about you then?” She wiped the blood that stained the corner of his eye. “Was I on your mind?”

“I had wondered how it’d be to slaughter bad guys with you,” Sylus allowed.

“I feel compelled to point out that you’re one of the bad guys.”

Sylus twirled his finger. “It’s all about perspective.”

“Don’t think of me so much anymore.” At Sylus’s confounded look, she added, “Just bring me next time. You wouldn’t have to wonder if I’m by your side.”

“I still would.” Sylus cradled her cheek and she inclined her body, her fingers gripping the edge of the tub so she wouldn’t tumble in. “Greed is insatiable by nature. Once we achieve the goal of eliminating opponents together, I would want to move to a bigger target. As long as humanity exists, there will always be new things to conquer.”

She was always gravitating towards him and his touch. It was more than a physical desire. Her heart pounded in her ribcage. It was simply a matter of time before it broke free. She didn’t know what would happen then and who she would become, but she was eager to find out. “I’d rather think that’s the humanity in you. Heartless beings have no higher ambition beyond subsistence. Look at the Wanderers.”

“I’ve seen plenty of heartless monsters burning innocents at the stake in fear of their power.” Sylus’s face scrunched in distaste. “Bloodlust doesn’t need a heart to thrive.”

“So what did you do?”

His voice softened as it often did when he talked about the past. “I burned down the world for her.” This time, his stare remained sharp on her, not receding into his memories.

She heard the reverence behind the person Sylus was referring to. Whoever she was, she was grateful she had been there for him. Before their relationship improved, there was an air of loneliness that hung around him. Sylus was intimidating yet alone. Those who dared to approach him always demanded something from him. Every connection involved a deal and calculation. Nothing was genuine. He had no one to turn to when exhaustion took over him, no one to be gentle with after gruelling days of living.

“You must have loved her deeply,” she said. “I’m glad you had her.”

Sylus studied her face, but she didn’t have anything to hide. He nodded, a small, relieved smile painting his lips. “And I’m glad I have you now.”

She blew the bubble foam in her hand at him. “You should be. I’m one of a kind. Discarding me would be a huge blow. Think of the time and effort you’ve invested.”

Mimicking her, Sylus gathered the foam around him and smeared it on her face. “You’re not an investment. When I gave you my heart, I didn’t expect anything in return,” he said. “As you go through your life, remember that there’s someone rooting for you. You carry me in the palm of your hand, so live well. That’s all I ask from you.”

She thought of her fear of being left behind by him. Sylus had been around for a while and had formed no attachment to anyone. She knew he had a liking towards the twins and took them under his wings, but they had approached him first. They stuck to him relentlessly until he had no choice but to let them be. Would he choose her over and over if given the choice? It was scary to believe that Sylus would be so selfless to give up his heart and never ask it back.

But she believed it, she did. Sylus didn’t leave much space for doubt. Through his actions and words, they spoke of the same thing. Just as loud, just as steadfast. There was so much kindness and love contained in one person. How could that be?

“I thought you were greedy,” she reminded him. “You should ask for more. I’m giving you my everything too. My heart, my body, my soul.” She caught his hand and trailed it down her chest, dragging down the top of her tank. “Take more from me. I’m all yours.”

Sylus had shifted to his knees, yet he still towered over her. Water dripped down her thighs as his nose touched hers. “If only you could see how beautiful your soul is.”

“Your affection is my mirror,” she said. “I can see it from how much you love me.”

“I do adore you so.” Sylus slid down her top and peppered fervent kisses down her collarbones and the swell of her breasts.

She coiled her fingers into the base of his hair and pulled him back up, capturing his lips with hers. With an arm wrapping around her waist, he fell backwards into the bathtub and brought her down with him.

Lukewarm water rocked around them. She was swathed in water tinted with blood that wasn’t even his, but she didn’t care. They deepened the kiss, and she felt him growing hard beneath her pelvis.

Sylus bit her neck and she gasped. “I know you want to fuck, but we should wait until we’re not surrounded by strangers’ blood,” she said.

He licked the shell of her ear before speaking, his words a jagged whisper. “That’s probably for the best.”

“I make wise decisions,” she said. “And since you disintegrated your clothing without a second thought, I’m afraid you’ll have to strut around naked.”

Sylus arranged their limbs so they were not in danger of drowning, making her kneel on top of him. “You ripped my shirt off without a second thought.”

“Ah, I thought about it all right.” She pretended to contemplate hard on it. “And I have decided you’re better off naked.”

“And shivering.”

“My body is an excellent warmer.” She splashed water at him.

“I know.” His thumbs drew circles around her nipples. “But do you truly not keep spare clothing for me?”

She pictured the rows of clothes folded neatly in her wardrobe in case Sylus dropped by. “You shall be naked or... well, naked. You’ve got no other option.” She shrugged.

Sylus pinched her nipples, eliciting a moan from her, and chuckled. She was sure he had seen through her lie. “Fine, let’s go with that. I have nothing to hide from you. But in turn, don’t think you can still keep this on. A deal has to be fair.” He tugged at her shorts. Her top had bunched around her stomach and had outlived its use. “Take it off.”

She huffed. “You do it.”

One snap of his long, agile fingers and she was completely bare to him.

“I didn’t say now.”

“You didn’t say when.” Sylus threw her a self-satisfied smirk while his finger started to rub her clit.

Her hips bucked involuntarily and she curled her hands into fists on his chest. “We still can’t fuck right now.” Her eyes narrowed in warning. “The dead are clinging to us.”

Rich laughter escaped from Sylus. He kissed her forehead while withdrawing his hand. “Only you can manage to kill the mood while making me love you more.”

She poked the tip of his nose. “Everything I do makes you love me more.”

“I know.” Sylus smiled at her, and it was a tender, loving smile that she wanted to sink into forever.

Sylus had no idea how much she loved him. Now that he was within her grasp, she would do everything she could to keep him. No more loss. No more heartbreak. Enough was enough.

She hoped Sylus shared her desire.

Footnotes:

Dragon Sylus can resurrect the dead, so his resurrection offer here is a nod to that.

MC sometimes uses nature-related words and metaphors. It's to highlight Sylus’s and her similar interest and their deepening relationship to the point that she adopts some of his ideas. It also shows that her past life still lives in her subconscious.

Wrote this because I brained too hard in my depressing Caleb fic so now I needed a brain cleanser.

Sylus does know very well how beautiful her soul is, doesn’t he?

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[the-upside-down-umbrella]

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

Part 2

Five Hargreeves x Fem!Reader

Summary: After finding out about the seven years Lila and Five spent together, reader walks in to a diner in between all time and space and finds exactly what she didn’t know she was looking for

A/N: This part is really short but I’m now planning on making it 3 parts ❤️ but you guys have been so patient and awesome

Part 1 PART 2 Part 3

Booth Five blinked her home. She let go of his hand, staring at the front door of her apartment in dread.

It seemed silly to care this much about something so trivial when the fate of the world was literally hanging in the balance.

“He lives here too?” He asked, stepping up so that they were side by side.

“Yes.”

“He’s not home or else I’d be feeling the side effects of paradox psychosis,” Booth Five explained, “You’re safe to go in if you’re worried about seeing him.”

She wondered if he was still in the subway, looking for her.

When she didn’t answer, he reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, turning her gently to face him, “Hey, I can stay if you need me to. I’ll risk it.”

She gave him a small, tired smile just as her phone began to chime over and over, texts messages catching up now that she was back in the correct timeline.

Pulling it from her coat pocket, she watched as a couple dozen messages from Diego, Luther, Klaus and Allison popped up.

“I actually need to go,” she said, reading all of the urgent, worried texts on her screen, “It looks like things are coming to a head around here.”

“As they usually do,” Booth Five sighed, “I hate leaving you like this. I want to fix it.”

“Five, this timeline is not your responsibility,” she reminded him, “I know you want to help me, but I think having two Five’s in one timeline is asking for trouble that we can’t really afford right now.”

“I know.”

He looked at her so tenderly, so heartbrokenly, that she could not stop herself from throwing her arms around him. It caught him by surprise because he stumbled back a bit before steadying himself again and wrapping his arms around her in return.

“I wish I could keep you,” he whispered in to her ear, his breath warm against her skin, sending a shudder down her spine.

She sunk in to him, willing herself not to cry again. She was so tired of crying.

“If I survive all of this, come back and find me,” she told him, “you know where I live.”

He was feeling bold now, her close proximity pushing him to do something he had been dying to do from the moment she stepped in to the deli.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, “Please?”

“Yes,” she breathed, “Yes, please do.”

There was no time to contemplate the absolute fuckery that was kissing the timeline counterpart of the man who broke her heart. She didn’t care what the repercussions would be, she just wanted to feel him.

He did not immediately go in for her lips the way she thought he would. He took his time, his lips brushing first across her temple, then down the planes of her cheekbones, to the tip of her nose and back up to her forehead. Wherever she granted access, he took, savoring the feel of her.

When she finally could take no more, impatience winning over, she grabbed him by the lapels of his coat and brought his lips to hers. He returned the kiss with fervor, his hands cupping either side of her face, bringing her flush against his chest.

There was no mistaking that this was not her Five. There was no languid domesticity behind this kiss. He kissed her like a man starved, who had no idea when his next meal would be.

She was breathless when they pulled away, but he did not let go of her just yet.

Pressing his forehead against hers, he whispered, “I love you. Every version of you, in every timeline. I love you.”

“I love you,” she replied, her lips finding his once more; a soft, lingering kiss, “I love you so much, Five. I’m sorry that we weren’t able to find our happy ending in your timeline, but thank you for being here for me in mine.”

It was with great difficulty that he finally let her go, taking a few steps back so that he could actually find the strength to leave her there. His eyes wandered over her, as if he was trying to memorize every single detail about her, about this moment.

“Be careful,” he warned, “Please, be careful, love.”

“I will.” She assured him, but the words tasted sour on her tongue. Every blip of the future she could see was dark and desolate.

She watched him blink away and she stumbled back a few steps, sinking down to sit on the stoop behind her. She needed just a moment to collect herself before meeting the family. Before seeing her Five again. Before facing yet another apocalypse.

Part 3

[femmenature]

You drew stars around my scars

The creator of this content does not speak English, constructive criticism on grammar is welcome😭

I know Liv identifies as non-binary and uses They/them as pronouns, but I used she/her just because of Vanessa's character!

Pairing: Teen Van Palmer/Vanessa Palmer x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Your girlfriend hasn't spoken to you since the wolves left scars on her face, and you can't ignore the sudden distancing.

Warning: Insecurity, bad words.

-

A few days have passed since the wolves bit Van. It was noticeable how distant she was from you. You understood, but on the other hand, you felt guilty for wanting to question her. How could she possibly think you'd judge her? How could she possibly think I'd be disgusted by seeing her face? It hurt you to feel that she had that perspective on you.

The secret relationship between you and Vanessa started before the accident. You were one of the defenders in soccer. It created a short distance between you and your team's goal. In other words, very little distance between you and Van. The chats at practice and the whispers in the locker room turned into make-out sessions and love confessions. Everything was perfect until the crash, and let's just say we managed to stay together. But this really messed things up. She won't talk to me, she won't look at me, she won't touch me, and she even does whatever it takes to push me away. And it sickens me, sickens me that I can't be by her side knowing what she's going through. So I took advantage of the moment when she went to look for dry branches for the campfire and cautiously followed her.

"Are you planning on ignoring me any longer?" Her shoulders lifted at your sudden voice, but she still didn't turn around. "I haven't even heard your voice in days, Vanessa" She cleared her throat as she continued collecting the sticks from the floor. "You don't understand," she said shakily, trying to get used to her voice again, as if she'd kept it hidden in the darkest part of her. "Why do you think I don't understand?" Your face clouded with confusion. 

"I don't know, things like this. This damn interrogation." She stops herself, trying to take back what she said "I'm sorry. I know I'm not reacting well. I just need to be alone."

"Stop doing that, stop pushing me away, because I'm not going to do it." You approach her, facing her back. Every step toward her feels like a step closer to the abyss. "You don't know what I'm like right now, you don't know what I'm saving you from," you furrow your eyebrows, even though she can't see you. Your hand reaches for her shoulder, not with the intention of turning her around. Simply so she knows you're there, respecting her time. "What are you talking about? Do you really think I'd react like this because of your scars, imagining what I was saved from now that my girlfriend was bitten by wolves?" You blurt out the words that had been stuck in your throat for so long. "Do you even know me at all? I need you to listen to yourself."

Her face turns away from where you placed your hand, still trying to avoid you. "I don't think badly of you. I just don't want you to be with me out of obligation." A sigh of frustration escapes you at the sound of her voice. "If you think I'd do that, you really don't know me."

Her body abruptly turns, facing you, allowing you to finally see her face. "Look at me. Look at me and tell me I don't disgust and repel you. That you could caress me the way you did before I had this." Her hands scribble, trying to point out her scars. Even the slightest reference to them repels her.

"You survived a damn wolf attack. What you have on your face are the marks of survival. Do you want me to tell you what would have been devastating for me? That you don't come back." Her eyes meet yours, hungry for the tiniest hint of contact. "So don't put words in my mouth I'd never say. Because having you here with me is more than I could have ever wished for, and more."

Her eyes glaze over and her breathing evens out, leaving behind the air that was squeezing her lungs. "Doesn't it disgust you? Doesn't it make your stomach feel sick, like you're going to throw up?"

"The only thing I feel in my stomach when I see you are butterflies," she rolls her eyes, though you managed to see a small smile escaping her lips. "Van, your beauty is eternal to me. The thing I feel when I see your scars is pride and gratitude that you're still here." One of her hands dared to move away from her body to stop contemplating yours from afar and do something about it. Brushing your hip, with the absurd fear that you'll reject her even though she's heard you say the opposite, her mind betrays her. "I don't deserve you," she whispered to you while her thumb caressed you. 

"You fought with fucking wolves. I don't think anyone really deserves you. And I think it's important to emphasize that you look way too hot with them." She lets out a chaste laugh, not believing you. "You're just saying that." Your hand approaches her cheek, delicately caressing her sensitive marks. "I'm not lying. It's a constant reminder of how brave you are. And you know very well that I admire that about you."

After staring at each other for a while, you pull her into a hug, wrapping your arms around her neck as she rests her face in the crook of your neck. "Thank you. Thank you for staying even though I tried to push you away. I don't know what I would have done without you. You always know just the right thing to say, at the right time, in the right way. I love that about you." Her voice is low as she clings to your body "I love you."

Your head moves away from hers, forcing her to look at you. With a smile, you stroke her hair as you respond with the same feeling you always had. "I love you, Van. Nothing could change that."

Unable and unwilling to prolong the moment any longer, their lips found each other as they had before.

-

Again, sorry if there is any mistake, it's late here and for some reason I write when I'm sleepy. 😫

[notsorryiml8]

He only had them for 6-7 months??

Looking at a timeline and watching the Land of Waves and Chuunin exams again (how far we've made it so far with the niece and nephew) and just realized how short of a timeframe Part I really is, that in Part I, Kakashi only had Team 7 for 6-7 months before it all went downhill/Sasuke left!!! I don't know why that blows my mind. SIX -SEVEN MONTHS! By the end of Part I to Shippuden and time spent with sensei/mentors, it's like:

Iruka/The Academy : 5 yrs

Kakashi : 6-7 months (months,people, months)

Jiraiya/Tsunade/Orochimaru : 2 - 2.5 years

When looking at it like this, I really think people/fans expected WAY too much out of Kakashi. He started with the traumatized-youth-of-the-year team and had only MONTHS to work with them and from the ground up. Subtract the time he was gone on missions, in the hospital and/or comatose (looking at you Itachi) and that gets knocked down to maybe 4-5 months. He spent less time with them than any other sensei and did a remarkable job for what he was given. I think all of this to say, give the man some grace. That was wild.

When all was said and done, what he did for this little rag-tag team of traumatized feral orphans + Sakura was more than amazing. SIX MONTHS, people, six months. Well, maybe seven, but still...let that sink in. I think people fail to acknowledge this when they call him a "bad sensei-" can't believe people are still doing that years later(!). Let any of the other jonin sensei do what he did in six months and with the team he was given - any of y'all try working with traumatized prepubescents and see how long it takes for them to work together?? I do every.single.day. They're all about survival and living in that trauma mind. Trust? What's that? Teamwork? Nope, gotta look out for me. Then you go and put them on a team with Captain Trauma, himself. Smart move Lord 3rd, smart move. Yeah, yeah, yeah I get it, only other Sharingan, control 9-tails, son of your sensei, blah blah blah. Poor Sakura, btw. Poor little thing didn't know what she had gotten herself into.

I dunno, I just don't think people ever see it from this perspective - that he literally only had them for months. Guy's team - already had a year together. Asuma's team - InoShikaCho were predestined wombmates. Kurenai's team - they were well-adjusted (Shino's the most laid-back person you'd ever find; just give Kiba a puppy; and who can ever get mad at Hinata, well, other than her family).

Traversing other corners of the interwebs and didn't realize just how much Kakashi hate dislike scorn "non-like" there is out there even now. It's wild. All this to say, just showing Kakashi-sensei some love. ❤️ and respect.

[rose-pearls]

Could I request something for Clarisse? Where she get's with reader and her father ends up telling her she's weak in her dream. The next day she trains until she passes out and reader finds her and nurses her back to health. Then just some good ol hurt and comfort! Thanks!!

Hi! Thank you for your request, here it is!! I hope you like it! Ares is an asshole here but I am thinking of making a story where he is a good father! My requests are open! If you would like to join a taglist just send me a message!

Main Masterlist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187, @nyx2021, @thestarspangledcaptain, @kmc1989 (open)

Percy Jackson Masterlist: @niktwazny303 (open)

Clarisse La Rue Masterlist: @abbersreads, @peanutbelley (open)

It had been a hard week; the red team had lost at capture the flag and everything seemed to be getting on her nerves. The only good thing had been you, trying to sooth her and calm her down when it all became too much. She should’ve known that sooner or later a nightmare would come back.

It wasn’t as if she didn’t have any, every demigod has nightmares, but she hadn’t had one about her father ever since she had gotten with you. It was as if you had managed to heal that part of her with showing her how much you loved her. That night you had to help one of your younger half-siblings so you couldn’t come and sleep at the Ares cabin, but she had told you that it was fine, that she would survive a night without you. How wrong she was.

The forest had been quiet in her dream, no one there, but just as she was walking further ahead, she heard a twig snap. She turned around, expecting to find a monster of some sort but she only came face to face with her father. Deep down she could admit to herself that seeing him was even worse than any kind of monster she could have seen.

“Father?”, she whispers, as if she wanted to make sure that it was him. The sneer on his face makes her realize that it is him and she can’t help but make herself small under his harsh stare.

“What are you doing with that girl?”, the words are unkind, as they have always been, she doesn’t remember a conversation were his voice was soft.

“What do you mean?”, she can’t help but ask, wondering what he means.

“Don’t play stupid with me little girl,” the tone makes it clear that the conversation won’t be a pleasant one.

“Sorry, sir,” she says and Ares nods slowly before coming closer to her, making her curl herself more.

“The Demeter girl, that you have been spending all your time with,” he says after a moment, a clear disgust in his voice when he speaks about you and for a moment, she thinks of defending you, but she knows that the consequences would be harsh.

“We are just spending time together father,” she says, trying not to reveal too much of your relationship, she doesn’t want him to be able to take it away from her.

“You should put an end to it, it just weakens you,” she has to swallow down the urge to tell him you are so much more than just ‘it’, but she manages.

“It won’t, I promise you,” she says but Ares lets out a cold laugh at her words.

“Really? Then how come you lost at Capture the Flag and your idiot of a brother managed to beat you at single combat?”, Ares says, coming closer to her with a dark look in his eyes. She knows she hadn’t been as focused as before but she didn’t think her father was watching her so much. She didn’t know if she should be happy that he had been watching her and giving her attention or feeling sick at the fact that he was watching her every move to catch her making a mistake.

“Don’t make me regret announcing that you are my favorite. I don’t want a weak daughter to represent me. Is that clear?”, the words are harsh, just like they had always been, and she can only nod in response.

“Yes father,” she says, and he nods at her answer.

“Good, better prove that to me,” he tells her before he disappears from her dream, and she wakes up in cold sweat. 

Her shirt is clinging to her back from the sweat that had formed during the nightmare, and it takes her a moment to come back to reality. Her breathing is ragged, and she tries to calm herself down but the words of her father ring through her head.

‘Weak’

She couldn’t let him believe that she was weak, she needed to show him that she could be better than her brother and that she deserved to be his favorite. She just needed to train as hard as she could and then she could beat her brother and the blue team at Capture the Flag. Maybe then her father would be proud of her.

No one notices her leaving, she manages to change into her sport gear before going to the training ground. There is no one and she lets out a sigh of relief as she takes her spear in her hands before turning to look at the dummy with determination. 

She doesn’t know how long she stands there, hitting the dummy as if it had hurt her personally, maybe imagining her dad as the dummy made her even more aggressive. It made the other campers avoid the training ground, thinking that it was better to leave Clarisse alone when she was in a bad mood. 

“Clarisse?”, she hears you say, and she realizes that the sun has come up now, the rays of sunshine beating down her back as she turns to look at you. You look worried, a frown between your eyebrows as you look at her.

“Are you alright?”, you ask her, your tone careful, as if you don’t want to scare her with the question but she just nods.

“I am, I just need to train a bit more,” she says, and she is ready to turn back to the dummy before your voice breaks the silence.

“Don’t you want to eat some lunch?”, the question surprises her, not the fact that you are asking her to eat lunch but the fact that it is already lunch. She still had so much to do to be perfect and she couldn’t lose any time.

“I’m alright, I’m not really hungry but go without me,” she tells you and although you still looked worried you simply nod before coming closer to her.

“Fine, but do I get a kiss before I go?”, she can’t refuse you that, she has never been able to and as she brings you into a kiss, she enjoys the few seconds of you being close to her. As she pulls back, she sees you pouting as she doesn’t deepen the kiss, but she just smiles and pats your ass.

“I’ll see you later princess,” she says, and you let out a defeated sigh before nodding and leaving her to her training.

The rest of the afternoon is spent training but as the sun starts to fade into a sunset, she starts to feel dizzy. She tells herself it’s the lack of water but as she tries to take a step towards her water bottle, she suddenly feels her head turning. Before she knows it, she hears you screaming her name, and everything turns black.

--

There is something cold against her forehead and she tries to get away from it, but a voice shushes her, trying to calm her down.

Her eyes flutter open, and she sees you sitting on the bed next to her, your eyes are bloodshot but there is a relieved smile on your lips.

“Hey, you. How are you feeling?”, you ask softly as you brush a curl away from her forehead.

“Tired, and I have a huge headache,” she whispers, and you nod slowly.

“What happened?”, she asks after a few seconds and a sigh leaves your lips.

“I went to find you to get you to come eat something but before I could reach you, you had fallen on the ground,” your hand is trembling as you brush her curls, and she can see the wetness in your eyes.

“You scared me so much Clarisse,” you whisper, and she feels like someone has punched her, she tries to get up to reassure you that she is alright but as her head begins to feel even heavier you push her down again.

“You need to rest, two days and eat and drink enough,” there is that stern tone in your voice that you usually only use for your younger siblings, and she can only lay back and listen to you.

“Yes ma’am,” she says, trying to lift up the mood but you shake your head.

“Why did you push yourself that hard? You never do that,” she swallows hard at the question, as much as she didn’t want to say it, she knew you wouldn’t let it go.

“I saw my father in a dream, and he told me I needed to do better and stop being weak,” she says, so softly that she isn’t sure if you heard her but as you shake your head in disbelief, she knows you did.

“That asshole, I really want to beat him up right now,” she can’t help but be surprised at the words and the anger in them. You were never one to be angry, always trying to see the positive side and calming her down.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea princess, he is the God of war after all,” she says but she still looks at you in adoration, the way you look ready to get out of there and fight her father makes her weirdly emotional.

“Well, a twelve-year-old Percy beat him so why couldn’t I do it?”, you say with a smirk and Clarisse can’t help but snort at your words.

“I’ll have to teach you a few things before that,” she says, and you nod in agreement.

“But first, resting,” you whisper, and she can only nod in agreement, enjoying the familiar silence between the both of you.

“You aren’t weak Clarisse; you know that right? You are one of the strongest fighters here and if your father can’t see that then he is the biggest idiot on earth. Never let anyone tell you that you aren’t strong enough, you are perfect as you are,” a tear rolls down her cheek at your words and you brush it away with a sad smile, love and adoration shining through your eyes. 

“If you ever doubt yourself or you just need someone to talk to you, you can always come to me. I will always be your biggest supporter,” Clarisse can’t reach your lips but as she squeezes your hand you seem to understand what she wants and you kiss her softly, as if she was something precious.

“I love you,” she whispers, and your smile widens at her words.

“I love you too, so much,” Clarisse can only kiss you again, trying to tell you everything she feels through the kiss.

She doesn’t know that you have already asked a now thirteen-year-old Percy to have your back next time you see Ares, to teach the God of War a lesson. And that the boy had happily agreed, already ready to go to Mount Olympus and fight him right there and then with Annabeth by his side. She didn’t realize just yet how many people cared for her, but with time she would.

[tinyundercover]

pepper & felix

part fifteen

teehee

MASTERPOST word count: 3.2k

Panic coursed through Basil’s body, overwhelmingly cold. She gasped for breath, inching back into the redhead’s curled fingers, heart pounding against her chest. 

“What on earth….” The female human leaned closer, drawing a startled noise from Basil. The human’s dark eyes shifted from curiosity to concern. “What is this? What are you?”

“Bree, holy shit,” the redhead whispered suddenly, hand twitching. “Tiny people. Alice and Felix were talking about tiny people.”

“Oh.” The girl gasped. “Oh.”

At those words, Basil straightened up, gaze dancing. Her hook was clutched within her hands, useless. In a desperate attempt for survival, could she toss herself off of this human’s hand and land on the couch?

She yelped in surprise when the redhead moved to sit down on the couch, hitting her with a wave of vertigo. Next to him, the female human sat down as well, tilting her head as she observed Basil’s demeanor.

“She looks scared,” she said thoughtfully, eyebrows pinching together. Addressing Basil directly, she asked gently, “Can you talk? Do you speak English?”

Under the gaze of two humans, one of which had her in a palm, Basil wasn’t sure that she’d be able to get a word out at all. Trembling, her gaze flickered, and she nodded.

Felix had been kind. Maybe these two humans would be kind as well.

At Basil’s confirmation, the two humans straightened up, murmuring in surprise. The boy didn’t miss a beat to ask, “What are you?”

The room was beginning to sway from Basil’s onslaught of terror, and feeling quite numb, she forced herself to speak. “Can you… can you put— me down?”

Both humans had to lean in to hear her, sending panic spiraling through Basil’s core, but to her immense relief, they didn’t seem angry at her request. Appearing confused, and a bit sheepish, the redhead leaned forward and lowered his hand to the coffee table.

Basil had never been more relieved. Heart thudding, she all but lunged off of his hand, stumbling over the surface of the table for much longer than necessary. Hugging herself, she kept her gaze low. She couldn’t bring herself to look up at the humans just yet, terrified to even imagine what they might look like from this lower vantage point. 

“There, that’s better.” The feminine voice above was gentle, so unlike Alice’s. Basil’s fear slowly began to shift to confusion, struggling to make sense of the situation. “Are you okay?”

Basil’s heart continued to pound. She slowly lifted her gaze, wincing at the uncomfortable sight of two humans peering down at her, elbows on their knees. Fixing her gaze on the female human, she forced out, “I’m— okay.”

She was okay. She was on the brink of tears, terrified out of her mind, but she supposed that she really was unharmed in the presence of two enormous humans.

The humans shared a glance, hesitating, urgency flickering behind their eyes. After struggling with her words for a moment, the female human addressed Basil again, voice unimaginably soft. “We’re not gonna hurt you,” she assured. “My name is Breanna. This is Owen. If you don’t mind me asking, ah— what are you?”

“Are you some kind of fairy or something?” The redhead added, squinting. 

Basil took a deep breath. She had known these questions would be coming, but that hadn’t prepared her to answer. Her stomach hurt, her heart was threatening to pound out of her chest, and all she wanted to do was get into the walls and hide forever.

She had a feeling that she wouldn’t be able to leave that easy, however. Alice sure didn’t want the borrowers leaving before they answered her questions properly, and even then she had chosen to trap them in a jar.

“I– I’m not trying to bother anyone,” Basil stammered, mind racing as she tried to assemble a good enough answer without revealing too much about her species. “I’m not a human, and– and I’m not a fairy, either, I– I– I just keep to myself. That’s it.”

Owen’s eyebrows raised, while Breanna tilted her head thoughtfully, brown gaze searching. Basil shuffled her feet.

“A tiny person,” Breanna murmured, mainly to herself and Owen. Her face sharpened, curious. “Do you, ah– do you know a Felix or Alice, by any chance?”

“I…” Basil’s voice wobbled. “I do.”

How much should she tell them? How much did they already know about her?

Breanna and Owen both sucked in a breath, startled. They turned to each other, seeming to communicate without speaking, breaths stuttering as they tried to find words. Basil couldn’t suppress the wave of guilt that washed over her, as if it was her fault that their friends had kept a secret from them.

They don’t just deserve to know about borrowers, just because Felix is their friend, Basil reminded herself. Alice sure didn’t.

“What’s your name?” Owen asked, brow furrowed.

She hesitated, wobbling on her feet, then finally found it within herself to respond, “Basil.”

“Basil,” Owen echoed. The sound of her own name in a human’s mouth made her twitch uneasily. “How do you know Alice and Felix?”

Basil’s increased stress at the continued interrogation must have shown on her face, because before she could answer, Breanna placed a large hand on the coffee table. It was far too close to Basil, and Basil jerked away with a gasp before she processed that it was supposed to be a comforting gesture. Features softening, Breanna spoke. “It’s okay. I know this must be a lot for you. Just take a deep breath.”

A strange feeling settled into Basil’s chest as she glanced between them. She did as she was told, drawing in a breath, the pounding of her heart beginning to subside.

“I’m gonna text Felix and Alice, alright?” Breanna continued, pulling out her phone. “Just–”

“No!”

Basil’s heartbeat skyrocketed all over again, watching as the humans jerked in surprise. Breanna’s hand froze, halfway drawing her phone from her pocket. “What?”

“Don’t tell Alice about me,” Basil said in a rush, eyes wide, “just Felix. Tell Felix.”

The humans both paused, contemplative. A nervous expression flitted over Breanna’s face, glancing at Owen, whose features had sharpened. They both seemed afraid to respond, their own imaginations for what could have occurred with Alice running wild.

“You know that Felix lives here, right?” Owen suggested finally. “Would it make you feel better if we all go visit him?”

Truthfully, Basil would feel better if she went to visit Pepper, but she wasn’t going to tell these humans that her brother lived in Felix’s apartment, too. She wanted to beg to be left alone so that she could make her way to Pepper and Felix’s apartment herself, but it would take hours for her, while it would only take less than a minute for these humans to walk down the hall there.

Oh, god. I can’t believe I’m really doing this.

“Yeah.” Basil nodded weakly. Even if she couldn’t get to Pepper right away, Felix would be sure to help her, somehow, right? 

Of course, going to Felix’s meant that she would have to put herself in one of these humans’ hands.

At Basil’s confirmation, Owen nodded, reaching towards her. “Alright, then–”

The enormous hand reaching towards her made Basil’s instincts go haywire, and with a panicked noise she stumbled back. “Wait. Wait.”

Shockingly enough, Owen actually paused, his long fingers hovering above the surface of the table. Basil was frozen, staring at the hand.

When she glanced up at Owen and Breanna, they were frowning, concern etched into their features. 

“I’m just picking you up so we can go to Felix’s,” Owen explained, uncertain. His hand twitched.

The breath finally reentered Basil’s body, and she shuddered, bringing a hand to her chest. “Just— just be careful,” she pleaded, a flush crossing her face. “This is a lot for me.” She gestured widely to emphasize her point, feeling slightly self-conscious.

Immediately, the two enormous gazes flickered over her small, shaky form, taking in just how delicate she was. Realization dawned on Owen’s face, and before Basil knew it, his hand had moved next to her, palm facing up, waiting patiently.

“Is this better?” His voice softened. Basil could have cried.

It wasn’t the first time she had willingly stepped into a human’s hand, and although this hand was a bit more intimidating than Felix’s, Basil was proud of herself for not faltering. Her boots wobbled on the thick skin of Owen’s palm.

“Okay,” she confirmed, heart racing. “Let’s go.”

–

Felix had not been prepared to open his front door to the sight of Basil perched in Owen’s palm.

His hand nearly slipped on the doorknob, jerking back in surprise. He couldn’t stop the wave of panic that coursed through him, suddenly terrified that more of his friends had decided to start kidnapping borrowers against their will, and he instinctively reached a hand forward. “Woah, woah– what’s happening?”

Owen’s brow was furrowed, his gaze focused down on Basil, as if he was trying incredibly hard to keep his hand steady. Breanna hovered nearby, nervous gaze fluttering between the borrower and Felix. 

“Hey,” Breanna said awkwardly. “Can we come in?”

Felix’s terror for Basil gradually faded over the next few minutes, as his friends explained what had happened. By some miracle, they seemed to have stumbled upon Basil by accident, and had brought her to Felix’s with the inkling that he might be able to help. Felix didn’t fully relax until Basil was on the kitchen counter, reluctantly expressing her agreement.

Despite her anxious fidgeting and choppy breaths, Basil seemed relatively unhurt. Felix was immensely thankful that Owen and Breanna had been aware of their strength compared to the borrower, something Felix had come to understand weeks ago. Once the strange introductions between them were complete, Breanna and Owen immediately began to interrogate Felix, but he ignored them, focusing back on Basil.

The female borrower was lingering on the counter, watching them, shifting on her feet. The shaky, high-strung movements reminded Felix a bit too much of how Pepper had acted this morning. It seemed that both of them needed a break from humans.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,” Felix told her gently, causing her to snap her gaze up. “Maybe you should rest.”

His own words brought an uncomfortable feeling into his chest. He prayed Basil understood that he wasn’t trying to be demeaning or patronizing, or that he felt he needed to give her permission to do things; he truly just wanted her to feel better.

Gratefully, Basil only sent him a small smile, shoulders slumping in relief. She bid an awkward farewell to the humans before vanishing behind the toaster with a little too much gusto, no doubt rushing to Pepper’s place to fill him in. 

“Okay– what the hell,” Owen finally demanded, dragging a hand through his red hair. Now that the humans were alone, he and Breanna seemed much more comfortable to straighten up and raise their voices. Felix appreciated their subtle efforts to appear non-threatening to Basil. “What the actual hell?”

“She lives here? She lives in the walls?” Breanna asked, aghast.

“Are there more tiny people?”

“This is what you and Alice were fighting about last night, isn’t it?”

Felix threw his hands up, quietly cutting their questions off. Both of his friends had moved closer, shock stricken over their features, needy for answers. He couldn’t really blame them.

“Okay, okay.” He was exhausted, hungover, and thoroughly overwhelmed. With a heavy breath he lowered his hands, steering his friends towards his couch. “It’s a lot to explain.”

–

Pepper wouldn’t exactly say that he had a good day.

He had started off his day in what he thought to be the worst way possible: out in the open, trapped under a human’s hand. It had taken a few seconds for him to register that it was only Felix, and that he wasn’t in danger, but the initial terror had been difficult to shake. 

His morning had been spent helping Felix treat his hangover. There wasn’t much the borrower could actually do for him on his own, but he hoped that his moral support had been enough to lift Felix’s spirits. All the while he had been wracked with memories of being grabbed into a clumsy, drunk hand; the same hand he had been finding comfort and safety in recently.

Throughout the course of the afternoon he had been given bad news and good news; the bad news was that Breanna and Owen now knew about them… the good news, on the other hand, was that Breanna and Owen were surprisingly accepting of the strange little people that lived in Felix’s walls. They had even promised wholeheartedly to keep them a secret, even if they seemed to be a little perplexed by the whole situation. 

Now, late in the evening, Pepper sunk into his hammock, Basil curled up beside him, both of them exhausted by the events of the day. The room was dimly lit and incredibly quiet. 

“I almost forgot,” Pepper suddenly mumbled into the silence. “I told Felix I’d talk to him.”

Basil’s eyes were closed, hugging a pillow, but she hummed to indicate that she was awake and listening. “Use your soulmate link, then,” she yawned.

Pepper stared at the ceiling. A few months ago, he had planted a glow-in-the-dark star above his hammock, but it was starting to peel off. Chewing his lip, he responded, “No, I need to talk to him in person, I think.”

“Hm… why?”

Heart twisting, Pepper sat up. “I… I slept with him last night.”

Immediately, Basil shot up, blinking rapidly at him. As she sputtered in shock, Pepper flushed scarlet.

“No, no– not like that,” he explained haphazardly, blushing harder as Basil burst into laughter. He shoved her impatiently. “I just fell asleep on his bed. That’s it.”

He neglected some of the major details, such as the fact that Felix had been incredibly drunk. The specifics of the story could wait.

Basil raised her eyebrows, amusement still dancing behind her eyes. “So, what, you took a nap with your boyfriend and now you’re embarrassed?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Pepper said hotly, turning away. “I don’t– I don’t really know what we are.”

A soft expression crossed Basil’s face at that, while Pepper had been expecting more teasing. His sister gently bumped his shoulder with her knuckles, earning a surprised noise from Pepper. “Go talk to him,” Basil murmured, sinking back into the hammock.

Thirty minutes later, Pepper found himself standing on Felix’s nightstand, wracked with uncertainty. Felix had gone to bed earlier than Pepper had expected, clearly exhausted from his terrible hangover and the day’s stressful events.

Felix slept on his side, facing Pepper. The hill of his shoulder was visible in the dim lighting, trailing down to his enormous hand resting directly in front of his chest, drawing in long, heavy breaths. His face, half obscured by his pillow, finally had no traces of stress or tension. It brought a warm feeling into Pepper’s heart to see Felix so relaxed.

Pepper suddenly felt weird, standing on Felix’s nightstand and staring at him while he slept. He wrung his hands, gaze dancing, briefly wondering if he should just go home and try again tomorrow.

But… he really didn’t want to trek all the way home just yet. At least, not until he did what he came here for.

Feeling silly, Pepper cleared his throat. “F–Felix?”

The massive form stirred, but didn’t respond. Pepper tried again, taking a step closer, heart racing. “Er– Felix?”

The bed creaked as Felix shifted. A blue eye flickered open, adjusting for a moment before focusing on Pepper, half-lidded. On instinct, the borrower stepped back, heart fluttering.

Felix released a sleepy exhale, turning his head slightly. “Pepper?”

“Hey.” Pepper released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, suddenly grateful that Felix hadn’t reacted negatively to being woken up. 

“It’s late,” Felix murmured, gaze flickering towards the alarm clock behind Pepper. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Everything’s okay. I just wanted to talk to you.” Pepper stepped towards the edge of the nightstand, evaluating the gap between it and the bed. Sucking a sharp breath, Pepper leapt over the gap and onto Felix’s mattress, stumbling on the plush surface and tossing his hands out for balance. When he glanced up, Felix was watching him curiously, silenced by the sudden close proximity between them.

“Thanks for handling the situation with Owen and Breanna,” Pepper commented, placing his hands on Felix’s pillow and hoisting himself up. When he finally squirmed into a seated position, he was only a few inches away from Felix, who had sunk further away into the pillow as if he was afraid of the borrower, a positively silly thought. “I… I still can’t believe they caught Basil.”

“Is she okay?” Felix asked quietly, lashes fluttering. Pepper felt the light breeze of his voice.

“Yeah. She was a little shaken up, but Owen and Breanna seem like decent people… How much did you tell them, anyways?”

Felix drew his bottom lip between his teeth, taking a moment to recall. After a few seconds he shifted until he was laying on his back, gazing at the ceiling. Pepper did the same.

“They already figured out some of it on their own. They know that there are more of you than just Basil, and that you live in the walls of this building, but that’s basically it.”

“Do they know that we’re soulmates?”

“No.”

“…Maybe you should tell them.”

Pepper felt the pillow shift under him as Felix turned his head, blue eyes inquisitive. “You think so?”

Pepper spared him a glance. “I mean, it can’t be a secret forever, can it?”

A comfortable silence fell over them at that, as Felix peered back up at the ceiling, considering. Once Pepper decided that the soft whirr of the air conditioning was too quiet for him, he sat up, turning fully towards Felix.

“I know that this can’t be easy,” Pepper stated calmly. Felix blinked. “I don’t know if we’re the first pair of human-borrower soulmates to ever exist, but it definitely puts more pressure on you than it does for me. You have a life outside of the apartment— friends, school— and I’m sorry that you have to balance me along with it.”

At Felix’s surprised silence, Pepper continued, leaning closer. “I feel like I’ve put so much responsibility on you since I met you. Our size difference means that you have to always be so careful, and never make mistakes, and that’s a lot to ask of you. So… thank you, for everything you’ve done for me.”

Felix flushed as he took in Pepper’s words, unable to pull his gaze away from him. “What are you talking about?” He asked, barely breathing with the borrower so close to his face. “You’re not just some burden. I care about you.”

Pepper observed him for a moment, heart fluttering. Felix’s cheeks were tinged with pink, so close to the borrower, and he felt the strange need to reach his hand out towards him.

Filled with a sudden resolve, Pepper sat up, moving closer to Felix. He paused, taking a moment to appreciate the way Felix froze completely before he leaned forward and placed a small kiss on the tip of Felix’s nose. When he pulled back, Felix had gone scarlet.

Pepper’s heart warmed. He stepped back, holding back a laugh at how Felix released the breath he had been holding. 

“You should go to sleep,” he murmured. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

-------

TAGLIST: @smallsday @compact-katrina @satethesatelite @taters169 @entomolog-t @gtzel @gt-newbie @da3dm @clumsiergiantess @vee-normous @fee-hunter @torakan @mabelisthebatman @andithewhumper @mothsintherain @violetlight

tumblr lovessss to not tag people properly so i'm sorry if you are one of those people </3

[idkmanreallywhat]

Do you think Furina can bear to watch Arlecchino act out her part in the Fatui?

Every day, wake up and see this person who she knows is kind and gentle inside pretending to be cruel and telling confounding things, painting an evil portrait of herself? Arlecchino exists through this mystification of her persona. the more people are mistaken about her, the better it suits her plans. A strategic advantage. but to Furina, after seeing every weakness Arle really has, after knowing the person behind the mask, it's different.

As an actress she understands the duty, and the commitment but after that five hundred year long torture of playing at cruelty and indifference. She can't. can't bear to watch as Arle's children cower from the strict facade the woman puts up.

Furina also felt this way though, didn't she? she was also once afraid of the intimidating Knave. Sounds silly now, with the power of hindsight in her hands. But she was. When someone's hand reaches out towards your heart in a motion prepared to tear through cloth and flesh and bone and rip it out. When someone sits in front of you after presenting you with false pleasantries of gifts, verbally cages you in. When someone looks at you like they know your soul when they aren't allowed to when you can't let them know when no one can know-

Yet Furina looks back. That cold, calculating gaze. Was it just a facade of an actress? Of course Arle gazed deep into her soul, as if trying to read it. Of course Furina recoiled for fear of being uncovered. Still she wishes she hadn't had to. All Furina wishes is to drop the pretenses, the deceits that keep everyone at arm's length. She can't bear to watch Arle twist herself every which way, and she won't bear it. With her trembling, untrained hands and with her caresses she will break the porcelain perfection and reach that flaming, molten core of Arle's very being. She will drink it in like water and strip the impersonal to reveal the truth.

If Arlecchino must act, act to preserve and survive in the cold outside world, Furina hopes that here, indoors where they are together she will be the genuine woman she so adores. Enough of acting.

[cryingatwindermerepeaks]

Little!Mel x Cg!Van - Hidden

Notes -> accidents, pull ups, cg!van, cg!tai, little!all the other yellowjackets, medication mentioned, post!crash au

This idea came to me in a dream while I was taking the most disorienting nap of my life today. So if it doesn’t make sense I don’t know what to tell you. It’s set post rescue ? but they all survive ? and they all end up living together in a big house (thank you mr matthews). Considering doing a pt.2 but we’ll see how I feel.

Word count: 1841

—————————

Keeping track of all the littles was a task and a half on a good day. Van liked to believe she was pretty good at it, keeping everyone fed, clean and for the most part happy. But no one could exactly blame her if sometimes someone managed to slip through the cracks while her back was turned. She should’ve noticed earlier, really. When she came downstairs and saw Mari, Akilah and Gen squished up on the couch playing Mario Kart with no Melissa in sight, Van should’ve realised something was wrong. It wasn’t like Melissa couldn’t have been playing with Shauna or even by herself. So Van didn’t think too hard about it. She didn’t, that was, until she went to check everyone had taken their medication for that morning. Coming back from their unplanned trip to the wilderness, most of the girls suffered from some form of deficiency or illness that required medication, vitamins or supplements. Outside of that, the psych examinations they’d been subject to upon their return had unearthed a whole host of diagnoses which had resulted in medicinal treatment for some. It ranged a lot - iron and vitamin deficiencies, PTSD, depression. You name it, at least one of the girls were being treated for it.

For the most part everyone was pretty good at keeping themselves accountable for their own medication. Outside of Lottie who was usually just too young to do things of that nature on her own, and Jackie who still insisted on a full blown tantrum every time someone tried to get her to take a pill. Still, Van always made sure to check the girl’s pill organisers each day to make sure they were all up to date. Today, Melissa was not. Now this was a warning sign that Van couldn’t ignore. Melissa was forgetful, Van wouldn’t argue that, but Gen was not. The two girls always had their breakfast and their morning medications together. A heavy frown crossed over Van’s face as she closed the still full Saturday pill container and put it back in its place. She moved back into the lounge room where Gen was playfully shoving Mari to sabotage her win. “Do you girls know where Melissa is?” Van asked, earning an outraged whine from Mari when the distraction caused her to lose the round. At the question, Gen suddenly became very interested in her controller, looking down as her fingers twisted and pulled at the wrist strap. “Gen?” Van pressed, noticing the girl’s poorly masked anxiety. Gen didn’t look up so Van crouched onto the balls of her feet in front of her. “What’s the matter kid?”

Gen’s teeth warred against her bottom lip for a moment, clearly contemplating whether or not to tell Van whatever it was she knew. “Mel’s hiding under her bed,” She finally admitted, slumping down against the back of the couch in defeat. Van nodded in understanding.

“Ok, thank you.” She squeezed Gen’s knee gently as she got up, thanking the girl for her honesty.

Van knocked on the door of Melissa’s bedroom, not really expecting a response. The door was open, revealing the seemingly empty bedroom. Van would’ve thought maybe Melissa wasn’t even in the room if it wasn’t for the tiny slither of socked foot poking out from underneath the girl’s bed. “Mel, it’s Van,” She called out in warning as she entered the room and sat down by the side of the bed. “Could you come out for me?” No reply - expected. Van sighed, leaning her back against the bed and fixing her eyes on the opposite side of the room. Gen and Melissa shared a bedroom. It was relatively big and indeliberately had been split visually down the middle with Gen’s side supporting an array of pastel pinks and purples whilst Melissa’s looked like a scene straight out of Jurassic Park. Van would never say it but she liked Melissa’s side more. “Bud, whatever you’re hiding for we can figure it out,” Van promised. There was a soft sniffle from under the bed, a slight shuffling, but still, no Melissa emerged. “You must be hungry, it’s almost lunch time and I know you haven’t had breakfast.” When there was still no reply, Van reluctantly slid down onto her stomach. She pressed her face against the floorboards and lifted up the edge of Melissa’s duvet form where it hung over the edge so she could see the other girl. Melissa was laid out on her stomach in a position which practically mirrored Van. Her face was stricken with dried up tears and her body was predominantly covered by darkness.

“Hi,” She mumbled meekly when she was face to face with Van.

“Hey kid.” Van smiled, trying to make herself seem as least threatening as possible. “Do you think you want to come out for me?”

“No.”

Van sighed, trying to keep her patience. “Look, you’re not going to be in trouble and I won’t be upset with you, whatever has happened.” Van was starting to catch onto what might have happened now that her face was pressed up under Melissa’s bed and the smell of ammonia was making itself clear. “But I can’t imagine you’re very comfortable, so why don’t you come out here and we can figure it out, ok?” Melissa took a shaky breath, trying to muster up some courage before she began to slowly shuffle her way out from under the bed. Relieved, Van moved back so Melissa had room to slide out of her hiding spot. Once in the light, Van’s theories were confirmed by the damp spot already beginning to dry on the legs of Melissa’s pajama pants. “Bad night?” Van offered as Melissa sat up with a resigned look on her face. She nodded courtly, keeping her eyes locked tightly on the rug in the middle of the room. “Do you want to talk about it?” Melissa only shrugged - clearly not big enough for words. She looked smaller than she usually did, plaits which were messy from sleep, eyes which were almost imperceptibly watering, shoulders hunched over like she wanted to curl in on herself. It hurt Van to see the younger girl so filled with shame, especially for something she couldn’t control. They’d spoken about this before - Melissa’s accidents and the fact that they weren’t anything to be ashamed of - but this one seemed to be weighing on Melissa a little more than usual. Van didn’t think she’d be able to get Melissa into talking until she was cleaned up so they’d have to start there. “Is the bed wet too?” Van asked gently. Melissa nodded, glancing up at her green dinosaur patterned bed sheets which now Van could tell were quite deliberately bunched up to cover the centre of the bed. “Alright, you go hop in the shower and I’ll handle the bed.”

It was a routine Van was pretty used to. If it wasn’t Melissa it was Nat or Lottie (Or Jackie but she was not allowed to talk about that). Given the trauma the girl’s had been through and the ages they tended to regress to, it was no surprise that accidents were a common occurrence in the house. It was different with Melissa though - she was older than most of the other girl’s who struggled with accidents and while Van promised her there was nothing wrong with that, Melissa took it as a pretty big ego hit. Whilst she was taking the sheets to the laundry Van ran into Tai, they shared a knowing glance at the sight of Mel’s sheets bundled up in Van’s arms. “Is she alright?” Tai asked, following Van towards the laundry.

“She’ll be right, just needs a bit of time to calm down.” Van threw the sheets in the laundry and grabbed new ones to replace them, making sure to choose ones that Melissa would actually like. It ended up being a set which she was pretty sure belonged to Shauna, thick white and navy stripes. Tai put the new sheets on the bed while Van went to check on Melissa. The sound of shower water had stopped when she knocked on the door and a few moments later Melissa appeared, wrapped in a green towel with dripping blonde hair sticking to her face and neck. “Hey Bud,” Van smiled, trying to keep her voice as positive as she could so as not to worry Melissa. She squeezed Melissa’s bare shoulder comfortingly. “Let’s get you into something nice and clean, hm?” She offered, guiding the girl back to her room. Thankfully Lottie was the only one who passed by the hallway and she was far too occupied trying to balance the armful of stuffies she was taking into Nat’s room to pay any mind to Melissa and Van.

Melissa showed no interest in picking out her clothes, her mind clearly somewhere far away as she dropped down onto the side of her bed, damp towel colliding with fresh sheets. Tai ruffled Melissa’s damp hair gently. “Feeling any better?” She asked. Melissa flushed red at the realisation someone else was privy to her accident but she nodded politely anyway. Van picked out an outfit she knew would probably go down ok with Mel, denim wash overalls and a rainbow stripy top for underneath. Comfortable and practical. She took the clothes over to Melissa, dropping them down on the bed. “Do you want some help?” She asked, knowing Melissa’s headspace could change drastically with very little notice. Melissa only shrugged, wrapping her arms tightly around her torso. “Mel?” Van hummed, her voice gentle in an attempt to call Mel back to the present. She crouched down, hands on Melissa’s bare knees to stabilise herself. “What’s going on in your head?” She asked, gently tucking some of Melissa’s hair back behind her ear. Melissa took a deep breath, clearly something was bubbling in the edge of her mind that she wanted to say but couldn’t quite get out. Van waited quietly, gently stroking Melissa’s hair until she finally got the courage to speak up.

“Pull ups,” She whispered, barely audible at all. Pull ups. It was a conversation they’d had a few times in the past. Melissa’s accidents were frequent enough to worry Van but she’d always adamantly denied the need for any sort of protection. Van understood why Melissa would be hesitant to wear protection when the only other littles who wore it regressed significantly younger than she did. “I think I should… try.” Van could’ve sworn her chest actually swelled with pride at the admission.

“I think that’s a really good idea, Mels,” Van praised, rubbing Melissa’s knee comfortingly. “I’m really proud of you.” Melissa beamed a little at this, a pleasant warmth taking over from the shameful blush.

“Just for bedtime,” Melissa added quickly, suddenly flustered. She squeezed the edge of her towel in her fist for comfort. “I don’t want to… I don’t want anyone else to know… maybe Tai can.”

“Yeah, yeah that’s ok,” Van promised. “No one else needs to know.”

[seireitonin]

Ugly

(A not so short part from my comic I’m writing called False Miracles (ft Sebastia and Toby.) Also an angsty part I can’t help myself sorry!

Also spoilers for the comic obviously

Sebastia is curled up in the corner, head resting on the wall. Another day, another fight. Ever since Toby “found her” in the cabin, they’ve been stationed together and fighting. Some days it’s about when they first met which was also the first time they physically fought. Other days, it’s about how annoying Toby finds her because of how untrusting and accusatory Sebastia is. She’s constantly accusing him of wanting to harm her, him backstabbing her, him doing horrible things to her.

Not that Sebastia can control it that much. Miracle is constantly in her head, feeding her these ideas about Toby and everyone else around her. But even if that wasn’t the case, Sebastia is anxious and unstable. Unable to remove herself from her traumatized survivor mindset. Never relaxing, never opening up. Especially to a man.

“Why are you such a bitch all the time?!” Toby glares at her. “We can’t go two hours without you accusing me of something or you breaking down completely!

“Don’t call me that! It’s not my fault I don’t trust you! I hardly even know you or your intentions! You expect me to just trust you, a killer, a dangerous man with open arms and mind?! I don’t think so!”

“We fought once! Since then i haven’t given you a single reason not to trust me! You’re always flinching and jumping if I even breathe around you! It’s so fucking annoying!”

“Once is all it takes! You buried your hatchet in my shoulder without a second thought! You think I can trust someone like that?! Trust a man like that?! That will hurt someone like it’s as easy as breathing air?!”

“I found you covered in other people’s blood…don’t think you’re better than me! Don’t sit there like you’re a saint!”

“No…I’m not like you. Don’t you ever…compare me to you.”

Sebastia stands up. She’s not confrontational. Far from it. However, Toby comparing them to each other….Sebastia takes being compared to a violent man an insult.

“I did what I had to do to survive. To live. You just do it because you’re mindless and violent!”

Toby let’s put a dry chuckle and starts laughing at her words. Like he finds this whole thing amusing, like he’s not taking her seriously.

“Funny. That’s exactly what I said when I killed my first person.”

Sebastia gasps.

Toby mocks his past mindset and Sebastias current one with his words “Oh, I’m not a bad person! I just did what I had to do to be free! I had to end this persons life to stop the torture they put me through! That doesn’t make me a bad person!”

He runs his hand through his hair, laughing and shaking his head and continues to speak.

“Is that how you’re justifying it? That how you sleep at night?”

He walks towards Sebastia, eyes wide, crazed and smiling. As if this conversation was bringing up memories that were too much for his mind to handle as well. He keeps walking towards her and she keeps backing up, looking at him with eyes full of fear, until her back hits a wall and she’s trapped between the wall and Toby.

“Guess what, Sebastia?” He looks directly into her eyes, a very serious and cold look on his face. More serious than Sebastia has ever seen him, even when they had their first physical fight.

“Every person you kill, regardless of whether they hurt you or not…is a person whose family is never gonna see them again. Every person you kill, leaves behind a pool of blood, guilty or innocent. Doesn’t matter. Every person you kill..weighs on you. Someone like you who tries to convince herself she’s…moral.”

He continued.

“Your reasons don’t really matter do they? You still killed. You’re a violent girl who did a violent thing and is trying to convince herself otherwise.”

“N-no that’s not…that’s not true!” Sebastia’s voice shook as she spoke, shock and fear plaguing it.

“Oh? No? You say don’t compare us…but you have a monster that puts voices in your head, telling you who to attack. Who to kill. What I have with Slenderman. You have with your “Miracle.” And you wanna sit there and say we’re nothing alike? You’re stupid and delusional.” Toby’s words drip with venom.

“You’re trying to fight Miracle off? Keep it suppressed?”

Toby talks like he’s experienced this first hand.

“How many more breakdowns? How many more violent urges? How many more words does it need to put inside your head? Till it breaks you down and you just give in?”

Toby whispers in Sebastia’s ear.

“And end up just like me?”

Sebastia stands there in shock and confusion, emotions of every kind swirling in her. Until she just can’t take it. She doesn’t know what to say or do.

“Kill him” Miracle spoke in her head. And that’s all the guidance she needed.

Miracles mouths bursts out of Sebastia’s head, splattering blood all over the walls, on Toby’s face, and down Sebastia’s. The sharp teeth and red eyes following.

Miracles mouths slam Toby on the wall.

“I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!”

Sebastia screams at him over and over with Miracles voice along side hers.

“Not long before you gave in huh?”

Sebastia not in her right mind just breaths heavily and glares, Miracle, wrapping around him, ready to rip him to pieces.

“Kill me and you know the consequences. Use your brain and not Miracles for once!” Toby yells at her, frustrated and angry but not scared.

“We gotta…stop…” Sebastia’s voice shook but she was telling Miracle to not kill Toby. “Need him….alive… can’t be…normal….without him…”

Sebastia starts to suppress Miracle, much to its disagreement.

Miracle reluctantly goes back to Sebastia and back inside her, Sebastia’s normal form returning as she sits on the bed, blood still trailing down her with a blank empty stare.

“I’m…”

Toby looks at her waiting to see what she’ll say.

“I’m sorry…Toby.”

Toby’s eyes widen a bit. Surprised. She has never ever apologized to him.

“I’m so sorry……” Sebastia puts her face in her hands letting out small sobs.

For the first time, Toby is shocked. Apologizing? Crying? What is this?

“You’re right…I’m a violent thing..an ugly, violent, thing!”

She can’t stop sobbing. Like the strength she’s had to uphold for months just crumbled at Toby’s words.

Toby has trouble feeling empathy. For anything or anyone. Usually his first reaction would be to laugh. But the sight of Sebastia crying brought something out of him. A distant memory he can’t place.

He sits beside her on the bed. Leaving room between them, knowing she doesn’t like to be touched by men.

“I never said ugly. I never said thing.”

He looks her, her head still in her pitch black hands.

“Yeah I definitely called you ugly in the past but I’m a dick so….take that with a grain of salt.” That was his way of apologizing.

“Uh…look…I…we’re traveling all this way to help you fix this right? Make you normal again? There’s still a chance you’re not like this forever. Unlike me. So…”

“What if I am? What if…I’m ugly forever?” Sebastia holds back sobs and looks at him to talk.

“Then if you have to stay with everyone…. if you really can’t go back…maybe me and you can finally learn to have a conversation without fighting. Plus you…you’re not ugly. I’ve seen some ugly stuff and…you’re just not that. Despite what I’ve said.”

Sebastia calms down eyes still a bit puffy, blood and tears staining her face.

They look at each other. Both of them have deep dark circles. Sebastia’s blood still staining Toby’s face.

“This…this is gonna sound…so weird….but…”

Toby looks at her and waits for her to finish.

“I wish I could hug you right now…”

Toby’s eyes widen just for a second. She’s full of surprises tonight. Neither of them being touched gently in months maybe for Toby, years, it didn’t sound like a bad idea.

“Yeah……me too.”

[palettepainter]

I had the worst shift at work yesterday which left me anxious, over-stimulated and exhausted. I took a break from working on part 2 of The Nightmare comic with the DB siblings and dipped my toe back into ROTTMNT! I think I have a design down for post movie Raph, but it's not done yet, so here's a line up of my OC Cleo and her family!

Bernard Pawson: His family where one of the first groups of explorers to venture into the caverns of the Hidden City which eventually lead to the city expanding. He has gone on many expeditions to study new creatures, plants and environments deeper in the caverns and has published his findings in books. He's a renowned figure in the Hidden City and highly respected, works alongside the Council Heads and continues to help the city in it's effort to grow to accommodate for more mutants and yokai

Charlotte Pawson: When Yokai were driven underground, many of her family were lost. Charlotte's parents were some of the few who survived, and made their living by founding a tailoring business. Through out the decades yokai have evolved into many shapes and sizes, and with how limited resources underground are compared to the surface, well made clothing is often hard to come by. When Charlotte inherited the boutique she pushed the business far beyond what her ancestors had done. Charlotte has a keen eye for business and a skill in negotiation and customer satisfaction, and currently stands tall as the top tailoring business owner in the Hidden City

Chloe Pawson: Cleo's younger twin, compared to her sister, Chloe is calm, collected and cool under pressure. Just like their mother, Chloe has a talent for organising and managing a large schedule - which Cleo is a little envious of. When it comes to running a business, Cleo thinks Cleo is far better suited, but really, Chloe has no motivation to take over the boutique after their mother. Chloe is a secret rock music enthusiast and owns a collection of vintage rock band t-shirts and punk aesthetic accessories. Due to Chloe being so put together and confident, this can lead to Cleo often feel awkward around her twin, feeling as though she's not doing a good job as a 'big sister' and 'setting a good exmaple'

Maxwell Pawson: Commonly referred to as Maxy, Maxwell is the oldest of the triplets and the most daring. While at times he is a bit oblivious to the grand danger of some of his more extreme adventure ideas he means well. Desperately wants to be like his dad when he's older (looks up to Leo so much you have no idea)

Marie Pawson: The second youngest, Marie considers herself the princess of the family. However, with having two brothers, Marie is just as quick to rough house and tumble with them, she just claims to have more grace. She's prone to butting heads with Maxwell, and defending Tommy in school when he gets shy. Often says what's on her mind without thinking, the type of kid who is brutally honest. Growing up the way she has - and being a cat - Marie is fascinated by anything big, glamourous or sparkly, she's a bit of a hoarder in that sense and collects random bits and bobs she finds pretty (goes on to look up to Donnie and all his cool science stuff, she and Maxwell but heads over which twin they think is cooler)

Thomas Pawson: The baby of the family, Thomas is rightfully spoiled by his older sisters and protected by Maxy and Marie during his moments of anxiousness. Out of the triplets, Thomas is the most calm and quiet, he doesn't enjoy rough housing or running about so much, and is perfectly happy to do his own thing while Marie and Maxy run around nearby. Unlike his brother and sister, he is unnaturally timid and has no desire to be an explorer like his dad, he's much happier at the idea of something more lowkey. Like Marie he also likes to collect things, except Thomas collects...anything and everything. Buttons, acorns, a weird shaped pebble, bottle caps, anything small he can fiddle with he'll have. Marie thinks it's kind of weird, but still lets him show her his collection

[christasmind]

“What You Deserve” — Seungmin Angst (Part 1)

🌺TW: Emotional neglect and cruelty; Verbal abuse (insults, belittling); Gaslighting and emotional manipulation; Toxic relationship dynamics; Psychological deterioration (feeling worthless); Onset of depression; Loneliness, emotional isolation

🌺Summary: In a love that once felt like home, words turn into weapons, and silence cuts deeper than any scream. As distance grows, and cruel indifference replaces affection, she begins to lose herself — piece by fragile piece.

————————

A harmless jab here.

A teasing insult there.

The kind of playful cruelty that used to make her laugh because it was Seungmin — and he never meant it, not really.

Except somewhere along the way, the jokes stopped sounding like jokes.

And the cruel words stopped being cushioned by affection.

He started snapping more often.

Rolling his eyes at things she said.

Dismissing her excitement with bored shrugs and muttered insults under his breath.

“You’re so damn clingy,” he scoffed once, when she reached for his hand across the couch.

“Can’t you survive without being attached to me for two seconds?”

It stung.

Of course it did.

But she told herself he didn’t mean it.

He was tired. Stressed. Something.

The excuses became their own kind of poison.

Because when someone you love hurts you, you find reasons to forgive them — until there’s nothing left of you to forgive with.

The worst part?

He barely even looked at her anymore.

When he did, it was usually with some flavor of disgust or annoyance curling at the corner of his mouth.

“You look exhausted,” he said once, without even glancing up from his phone.

“Maybe try actually taking care of yourself for once instead of whining all the time.”

The words sliced clean through her chest.

She felt the blood, invisible but burning, leak into her lungs, making it hard to breathe.

She started pulling away after that.

Stopped texting first.

Stopped asking him to spend time together.

But the more distance she tried to put between them, the crueler Seungmin became — like he could feel her slipping and hated her for it.

“You think you’re punishing me by acting cold?” he sneered one night when she didn’t immediately greet him at the door.

“Trust me, sweetheart, you’re not that important.”

She blinked at him, the weight of his words settling heavy and cold against her ribs.

Not that important.

Not worth staying up for.

Not worth holding onto.

It became a pattern.

A ritual.

He’d say something vile —

She’d flinch —

He’d pretend nothing happened.

And every time, she shrank smaller, quieter, until she barely recognized herself anymore.

The girl who used to glow when she smiled now barely lifted her head.

The girl who used to sing around the apartment now sat in silence, afraid even to breathe too loudly around him.

She stopped laughing.

Stopped dreaming.

Stopped believing she was worthy of love at all.

After all — if Seungmin, the boy who once said she was his whole world, could hate her this easily, maybe she was the problem.

Maybe she was too much.

Too needy.

Too annoying.

Too broken to love properly.

He didn’t have to scream at her to break her down.

He just had to stop caring.

And day by day, piece by piece, he carved away everything good she ever believed about herself — until there was nothing left but a hollowed-out girl staring blankly into a mirror she couldn’t bear to recognize.

One night, sitting alone on the cold bathroom floor with the lights off, she realized something terrifying:

She missed the old pain.

The pain of missing him when he was away.

The ache of loving him so much it hurt.

Because this new pain — this numb, heavy, endless despair — was so much worse.

This was the kind of pain you didn’t come back from.

And somehow, deep down, she knew:

Seungmin didn’t even notice he had killed the best parts of her.

Or maybe he did.

Maybe that was the point.

[jenctrl]

4 - Anxious (stomach ache)

“Put your phone away.” 

Y/n hummed at the grumble from Minji, still busy with her phone though until her sleeve was tugged and the phone grabbed out of her hold. She sighed and jutted her lower lip, tilting her head to look up at Minji, who turned off the device. 

“They were worried because I just disappeared.” She explained, letting her head fall back onto her girlfriend's shoulder as she was wrapped in a warm embrace. It was comforting, cosy, and one she could long for, it was enough to come back to when Minji held her with love and care. 

She peeked up and met Minji’s eyes as they lay on the soft bed. The sound from the TV wasn’t anything they paid attention to, Y/n couldn’t focus on these things when she was with Minji. Her mind was too busy with anecdotes of everything her girlfriend did for her, how she cared for her, held her and everything in between.

“They will survive without you.” 

Y/n smiled and ran her hand over Minji’s hoodie-covered stomach. Her fingers traced patterns, softly, getting lost in her thoughts. Her eyes trailed away from her girlfriends whose hand came up to leave tender touches along Y/n’s temple, running across her cheek and over the pulsing vein on her neck before she cradled her face and caressed her cheek with her thumb. 

“And you won’t?” She questioned, moving her head to lay it where the beating of Minji’s heart echoed. It always sounded promising, a beating heart, it let her know that Minji was there with her. She liked how warm Minji’s body was, how warm her touch was as she closed her eyes and felt her body relax, forgetting all the tension she had been carrying these few weeks. 

“I really won’t, I barely made it through those two weeks without you.” 

“Okay,” it made her smile and dwell on those words. There was no one else Y/n wanted to matter to as much as she wanted to matter to Minji. The girl who held her was her whole world and she didn’t need much in that world to get through the rough roads it was made of and the dreams that always seemed to crumble. 

One always stood tall without budging; it was the dream of being loved and being able to love. Whichever she desired the most was a mystery because Y/n did both intensely and passionately, where she poured every drop of blood she had for someone else. 

She tried to get lost in Minji’s heartbeat, the fingers that gently caressed her skin under her clothes, the comforting words. There seemed to be a problem with getting lost when her mind was always on alert. 

No matter how comforting it felt, Y/n was always anxious in Minji’s arms, in her presence, whenever they were together her stomach would twist and start to ache. It made her feel sick and she wondered if she was the only one. It wasn’t because of Minji though. 

Her girlfriend wasn’t the problem. Y/n’s mind was, and no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise, it never worked. From the second they saw each other, Y/n started dreading the moment they would say goodbye. Although she never wanted to leave, she felt afraid whenever they had to part ways. 

She would never tell the girl who was holding her that she teared up and felt like throwing up whenever the door closed behind her. That her knees would go weak and her fingers would tremble. It probably wasn’t normal to depend so much on one person, but she didn’t control it. 

It could be because she hated being alone or it could be the uncertainty of what tomorrow held or because she wanted to be loved. Not being able to know what came next made Y/n feel nauseous, she hated that familiar feeling of always being afraid of the unpredictable.

She never managed to enjoy the moment as she got too occupied thinking about when they would say goodbye. Y/n couldn’t stay in the present, she was always anticipating the future, trying her best to go over every possibility as she knew how uncertain everything was. She had to stay ready for the worst. 

The worst in this scenario was having to leave because no time with Minji felt like it was enough. The wish to make time stand still or at least slow down, for time to be nothing but a mere concept with no existence.

The girl closed her eyes, trying to forget everything and just dwell on the feeling of Minji caressing every ridge on her body. Her touch was tender, it was loving, and there was care and thought in each touch by her girlfriend, it left a burning sensation inside Y/n. One she was afraid of, it felt too good. 

Y/n didn���t think she deserved this type of pure love. It felt too good to be true, it was so different to what she was used to. It all kept twisting in her stomach, making her anxious because what if Minji realised she was wasting her love on someone like Y/n? Maybe she made Minji feel sick.

“You look so pretty.” Y/n hummed at the words, a smile gracing her lips as her arms wrapped around Minji’s shoulders. She got pulled closer by the arms that were around her waist as she was straddling the girl’s lap. 

“You’re always so nice to me.” She mumbled and used one hand to fix the few loose strands of hair that had fallen in the way of Minji’s face. The other’s lips were quick to make contact with her fingers as she kissed Y/n’s hand, planting small kisses before making the girl yelp and quickly withdraw her hand after she bit her finger.

Minji smiled a stupid grin at what she did and tightly wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist when the girl tried to push her away, it made a light laugh escape Y/n’s lips. Her body moulded against Minji’s whose breath tickled her skin as she hid her face in the crook of Y/n’s neck. 

She couldn’t remember the last time she felt fine; well, she could. The last time Y/n felt fine was before Minji left her behind and she understood that it was work, but the distance between them always felt bigger than it had to be. 

Y/n felt like Minji was holding her at arm's length for so many reasons, excluding the obvious reason that she was a secret and had to keep it. That was something she stayed fine with for Minji’s sake; she’d do anything for Minji. She didn’t like breaking promises. However, she couldn’t understand why Minji was pushing her away after each time she let her in first. 

It still satisfied Y/n’s needs, she assumed, whenever she loved her, no matter in what way. Whether a text saying she did or seeing her and making time for her, even a simple kiss made Y/n feel loved. Y/n took it all as long as she knew that Minji loved her. She could as well have gotten nothing, she could as well not be loved by Minji. 

Her fingers tangled in the girl’s hair as she started to scatter kisses over her neck, kissing up and making shivers of pleasure run over Y/n’s body. The higher she got the louder she would kiss until she pressed a long and overdramatic kiss to Y/n’s cheek, making the girl laugh and pull back. 

Minji tilted her head, the big smile on her face falling into a more adoring one as her eyes were soft on Y/n. “It’s the truth though and you deserve nothing but nice.”

She moved her hands over to Minji’s face, cupping right under her jaw with thumbs caressing along her cheekbones. Y/n could spend the rest of her life just listening to Minji’s sweet words while getting lost in her tender touch, it felt serene, like everything Y/n had ever wished for; to be loved and to be able to give back.

Slowly, she leaned in a little closer just as Minji did, their noses touched and the idol brushed hers against Y/n’s. They caught each other’s eyes and Y/n felt anxious, but there was reassurance in the other pair of brown eyes, they had a grip on her heart, one she had a hard time escaping. It was probably obvious. 

Minji probably knew her better than Y/n would like to admit to. 

She watched her reflection in the brown eyes, they reflected her so flawlessly in the moment that it didn’t feel real. It wasn’t possible to be flawless, but at times Minji made it seem like everything was perfect as they closed the gap between them with their heads tilted and lips meeting. 

It was slow, Y/n’s nails gently scratched along Minji’s jaw. Her body and mind succumbed so easily to her girlfriend. She had waited to be close to Minji again, she wouldn’t tell her that though, she wouldn’t want to burden Minji with longing. She preferred being there for her instead of asking for anything back. Y/n sighed, feeling warm all over after turning blue for the past weeks.

“Say what you want–instead of trying to flatter me,” she mumbled between the kiss they shared, having trouble pulling away. Minji let out a breath at that, pulling away the tiniest bit to get a quick look at Y/n whose eyes were already on hers. 

It wasn’t long until her lips were back on Y/n’s though, scattering kisses on the girl’s skin as her lips softly moved along her jaw and cheek. “Wanna know what I want?” She breathed out, burying her head in the crook of Y/n’s neck as her hands rubbed at her lower back. The breath that hit her skin made her somewhat squirm as it tickled yet made her pull in closer.

“Yeah?” 

“I wanna continue watching Evangelion.” 

“Noo–” Y/n whined and clung onto her girlfriend when she tried to move her out of her lap, stopping her from grabbing the remote. “Focus on me instead.” She tried and Minji laughed at the way Y/n tried to overpower her and she gave in, letting her girlfriend tackle her onto the mattress. 

“I’ve been focusing on you for the past few hours.” Y/n was aware that they were playing around, that they were joking and it did feel light, but the truth always lingered at the back of her head. A few hours was usually what they got together and she wasn’t one to complain, but it wasn’t often. Sometimes it felt like she pictured Minji more than she saw her. 

“You’re acting as if I haven’t made you watch Evangelion at least five times with me already.” Minji rolled her eyes as she was held down by her shoulders where Y/n held her palms planted. She reached a hand up, running her fingers through Y/n’s hair and holding it back from tickling her face. Eyes admiring the girl on top of her and it was the type of closeness Y/n always craved.

“Shouldn’t have shown it to me, it’s too good.” 

“I know I have good taste, but watch me instead.” She watched how the girl under her put on a smug smile. 

“Considering you’re with me, I would say that you do.” 

“You’re so full of yourself.”

The latter hummed and guided Y/n’s face closer to hers until their lips met in a short kiss. “As if you didn’t just tell me to watch you,” Minji argued, mumbling against the girl’s lips and as Y/n parted her lips to get in another quip, the vibrating of a phone cut them off. It was Minji’s phone and her hold on Y/n disappeared; the girl felt cold and her stomach dropped at what she knew was next.

Minji sat up as Y/n moved off of her while chewing on the inside of her cheek, biting down, gnawing on her lower lip, and doing everything to stop herself from falling into the melancholy. She hated how heavy it felt on her chest as she stared at the sheets while Minji was on the phone. Y/n could cry, but she wouldn’t, she already felt like a burden most of the time to her girlfriend. 

She didn’t want to be needier than she already was.

However, the prickling at her nose always made it hard and she took a deep breath, rapidly blinking her eyes as she reached for her phone to occupy herself with something. It was difficult because all thoughts about Minji were always overbearing and at times she couldn’t think about anything else except her. 

“They’re on their way back,” the idol didn’t seem to struggle the way Y/n did, not with how easily those words that meant ‘leave’ left her mouth. 

Y/n wanted to bring it up again, but it always ended the same way whenever she suggested that they would at least let their close friends know about them. She settled on making it easier than it already was for Minji though as she looked up with a small smile and gave a nod, waiting for the pain in her throat to go away before she spoke.

‘Two hours, you got two whole hours when you could have gotten none after not seeing her for so long.’

‘It doesn’t matter if you would quit everything for her. You won’t get the same back.’

‘Be grateful for what you have and get because you get more than you deserve most of the time.’

She hated how self-aware she was and how contrasting her thoughts could get, but she quickly got up on her feet. Y/n wasn’t one to lay on the ground and whine for too long. She was taught better than to bother someone for too long. 

“How will you get back?” Minji asked as Y/n hadn’t said anything since she got up from her bed. She watched her girlfriend gather her things and give a shrug.

“Cab.” It came as a mumble.

“Let me send you money for it.”

“Minji, it’s fine, I have money,” Y/n argued, her tone coming off a bit harsher than intended, but she got defensive whenever she felt the slightest bit vulnerable; she was scared. There was no need for more salt in the wound; to show care whenever Y/n doubted that Minji did care. 

“Okay, but I wanted you to come, so I want to pay for it–” Minji stopped as Y/n turned around with a small frown. “You’re my girlfriend, let me pay for your trip back at least.” She didn’t feel like her girlfriend at times. She didn’t need the whole world to know, but it felt so wrong to be Minji’s secret. It destroyed her.

It ate at her day after day and made her feel sick, Y/n could never turn to anyone, the only person she could turn to was barely there because her girlfriend was busy. At times it felt like she was in a cage, waiting for Minji to just check on her. It wasn’t right, but she would do anything for Minji. 

“Yeah.” She agreed and pouted as she watched Minji reach for her phone again, her eyes glancing between the screen and Y/n.

“Won’t you get cold in that?” She questioned, paying attention to how Y/n was only in a thin top and it was getting late and the weather was cooler by now.

“I’m just heading down and into the cab.” Y/n replied as her gaze was on her phone to order the said cab, getting the notification from Minji. It was nothing new to have Minji send her money or give her material things despite never asking for it. 

It was too familiar to Y/n. Did Minji see it as some type of compensation? Maybe it was genuine and not out of guilt and Y/n was the bad person for not appreciating Minji more. Usually Y/n felt like a terrible person because of how things looked, how she looked at them and the problem seemed to lay in her and not their relationship. 

“All the more why you should wear a hoodie.” The latter said as she tossed her phone aside with a frown and stood up. Y/n watched the taller girl who was about to pass by her to get to her closet and she grabbed hold of Minji’s sleeve, stopping her. 

“I’ve been keeping this hoodie from everyone.” Minji whined and Y/n jutted her lower lip as she looked up at her through her lashes. All she craved was Minji’s warmth and comfort in the end. Her girlfriend groaned and grabbed the hem of the black hoodie.

“I love you.”

“I love you, a lot.” 

Y/n could still feel Minji’s lips linger on hers after the door closed behind her and those feelings came back, always leaving the place with a sick stomach, an anxious feeling and the thought of being nothing but a terrible person. Despite the awareness and these feelings, it was still always worth running back no matter what. 

masterlist | next

a/n: any type of feedback is really appreciated even smth short like 'it's good or bad' it's hard to improve etc otherwise :D

taglist! - @yxlis @pandafuriosa60 @sixflame438 @drvirgus @baelabong @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @dollydigital @yncoreee @multiliker @yoontoonwhs @dreamingst99 @1luvkarina @gayforalll @gtfoiydlyj @celestialsequels @starstruckgoateepuppy @yeetaberry127 @kimminjiissosjdirbidnsjje @onlyhyunjin @awkwardtoafault @jisooftme

[letoilepourpre]

I don't know when you'll get back to this. I know that Den is your favorite route in StP, but what about Den has you have her as your favorite? I'm just really curious.

first of all I love the themes about dehumanization and seeing through someone's humanity beyond appearances. the princess is molded by our perception but it doesn't mean that she is our perception alone, and it's shown numerous times that she is not merely a mindless monster (yes even during instinct/ouroboros) even when you follow through narrator's (very very stubbornly put) opinions of her. he is extra of an asshole during it bc its easier to dehumanize her further when she cant even talk and its smth i resonate with a lot as a neurodivergent person

secondly I've always been drawn to nonhuman characters in general, especially monsters, and her design captivated me instantly. again due to being autistic its always been easier for me to connect with animals than people, and that mixed with how far youve pushed the princess to be overcome by instinct is such a great way to put together a "dont judge a book by its cover" telling

thirdly I adore how through skeptic you get to actually see her in another light. she doesnt have a way to reach you when stuck so she has a moment to communicate with you in some way. narrator mentioning how her bone structure cant even let her properly get out of the basement is one of the things i think about the most, youve pushed her into that feral role so deep that now she cant even exit that mold (at least not without help) without bringing herself and you to your doom. helping her is letting her humanity take over instinct, as you take each other towards freedom. she had to destroy that barrier but she could only do it properly if you helped her with it. what pushes her forward is the retribution for that help. even if you dont help her she still lets out a desperate roar as she destroys the tunnel in an attempt to escape, but you didnt break that barrier alongside her for you to reach freedom. den is my fav hunted route bc of hunted's sympathy, putting herself (i use she/it for hunted just so u dont get confused) in den's place as she's the only one who could truly understand the position the princess was in, and following her line of thought (pack is stronger together) is what saves you from being buried to death

and lastly the body horror might be my favorite thing in her chapter. I love the horror genre in general, but I'm very nitpicky with body horror and senseless gore bc it'll be used for shock value alone, besides many examples of 'body horror' being like... a heavy wound or straight up ableism. which sucks ass bc you can get really creative with it, which is what ouroboros does: you both indulging each other to become instinct, hunted going mad with the power you discover when you finally have a chance to feel bigger, the twisted healing that comes from the mutual consumption being taking each other's strength until at some point you've been eating and eating and eating until you cant tell where one begins and the other ends, trapping you both in the realization of what you've done to each other for that need to survive without thinking about the consequences, and especially the way you both become more monstrous by taking parts of each other, that one glimpse of den's humanity being shown through shame, an emotion so agonizingly human that you can't help but feel it as well once you get to think about what you've become, how far youve pushed her the moment you decided to embrace instinct

it's fascinating how people continue to see her as something other than the other vessels even with all of that being shown, as if you also don't embrace instinct at some point, and even hero mentions how dehumanizing your actions are. youre simply putting your humanity to the side and embracing your most primal feelings, but it doesnt mean that your reasoning ceases to exist entirely

I could go on, but this post is long enough and it's almost 2 am for me right now LOL

I really love her :]