#like she does all the Mom things she's supposed to do and she does it well and proudly
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EXU Divergence E04 random thoughts and bits
One last time, let's do this
Into the Sam Riegel verse
Now we know Matt should play Rogue (?)
What even was the continuity of the ads anyway
We're starting with a quote by Seven Samurai, that's how you know its gonna be good
That nat 20 for Crokas after becoming smart, was super appropriate
Loved Brennan's explanation of the change in gears for Vasselheim, and how that also ties with how we see the city centuries down the line
What's with the fancy dude and the child?; EDIT after I realized who they were an hour and a half after the episode began: OH, the rich assholes in the Strife Emperor's court and the evil child
Oh, that "self taught?", it kinda stung
Power move with the letter opener by Nia
I've just noticed that Alex has been moving and swaying like a monitor lizard all the episodes, in order to match Crokas' being a dragonborn and like, overall vibe of being like, Godzilla in a small scale
Morgana Thundershield, amazing name
I love that this episode is, thematically, a sorta epilogue of C3. Of course it's not exactly the same, but seeing Vasselheim react to the gods going retreating behind the gate and the impact it had in them, compared with what happened with the gods at the end of C3.
Also, Brennan making the connection between hubris and humility regarding the connection to the divine and faith. *chef's kiss*
"Learn to learn again"
Oh, the explanation to the change of paradigm was brilliant. How divine magic used to be just a call for the gods to intervene, but now, they're based on faith and belief, and the clerics are the conduits, not just people who call upon the gods for them to act
Rux Tallheart, paladin of the Platinum Dragon, another certified Brennan Lee Mulligan's small guy
Oh, that's interesting, not all the gods are accounted for
Welcome to the New World, Erro's telling jokes now
"Nia? Rai'nia?"; "How does this possibly keep happening?"
"the feel when confirmation bias becomes confirmation"
Crokas settled immediately into the routine of showing the Orb whenever someone needs to hear what happened to Liana
"Am I a god?"; "NO"; "Thank you"
Well, we can certainly see where Nia got her charm
"Why do I call you boss?", OH CROKAS GAINED INTROSPECTION
"You were the best victory prize I ever got"; "I think you need to examine those words a little bit. And how that might make me feel. That you don't refer to me as your child, but as your bodyguard"
Oh, I've been waiting for the first episode for this conversation to happen. You could tell that despite everything, Fiedra always had a wall between her and Crokas, and how he wasn't able to even articulate what that meant or how did he feel. And there's a lot to unpack about Fiedra, she was sorta kinda "thriving" (for lack of a better word) in the Strife Emperor's prison, and she's never like, hide that she isn't what you may call a "good person" in the traditional sense due to the circumstances surrounding her upbringing, you know, experiencing all the cruelty and violence while growing up an orphan. I get that she cared about him in her own way, and tried to do the right thing with what she had available, but there's also some utilitarianism in the way she treated Crokas that, of course was gonna come up into the surface the moment Crokas could finally put words to those feelings.
See, Crokas knows it, the rest of the roaches were "her boys", but he was just "the bodyguard". Again, this whole "I get what you were trying to do or where you are coming from, but those intentions never translated into actions, or at least you never expressed what those actions were supposed to be" kinda way
"I needed a mom, not to fight for a boss"
Oh, now I'm starting to suspect the Key, like, that's like a suspicious timing
That "There Will Be Blood" reference was spot on
The Key has an awakened state?
Fiedra, honey, I'm sure this isn't going to end well
See, told ya
I knew there was something else going on with the key
Garen Hearthheart
Oh that Predator handshake between Matt and Brennan was just, incredible
"The Gate is built by heart alone, though hearts be held by flesh and bone, and flesh and bone by earth and stone. The door we make, when lock we break, will bridge the waters, roads to take. The stones that stand to staunch the flood, freedom found by toil and blood. By stone betrayed, the seal is made. The hand that holds the heart that prayed. The stairs it shaped, the debts it paid. The gate is shaped, the keystone layed."
Yeah, that little moment gave me all the emotions.
Also, intended or not, the dwarven script?prayer?chant? kinda sound a bit like a poem about the structure of this mini campaign, doesn't it?
It seems to me that Erro's got some type of connection to Bahamut that goes beyond what his parents' faith and what they used to do
Loved the idea of like, the spell rules are basically the new rules of Divine Magic, and they're still being settled, so the Moonweaver can kinda bend them a bit
Look at Liana just, giving the ultra abridged version of the events of Downfall
Of course Brennan wouldn't resist having Asmodeus back again one final (?) time
Oh, so there was something else regarding the way the gods made themselves mortals and why they forgot who they were supposed to be. Also, many more came but never found out who they were.
Ok, I'm calling it now, Erro is Bahamut.
Look at Fiedra trying to make things up and good with Crokas. Good for them.
Love the idea of Crokas going full Batman in Vasselheim. Like, imagine a monk that's basically a miniature Godzilla (which is still huge in this case), jumping through the buildings. Kinda like Absolute Batman I guess, in terms of size.
It is amazing in retrospective to think that Nia is basically the founder of the way divine magic will be practiced in Exandria up until, basically, the end of Campaign 3 (and probably even after that, like, divine magic is still there, even if the gods reverted to mortal form). This kind, young girl who had to endure so much, became a self taught cleric that in a way became the standard for most of religious practitioners, at least of the Prime Deities.
NGL, I'm gonna miss the sound that Celia's hair and their braids make and how it goes through the mic
NOT THE FIREWORK EXTRAVAGANZA AGAIN??!!
All that Batmaning helped Crokas with that Nat20 in stealth
Glad that Jasmine went straight into singing System of a Down
They're rolling inside a chapel, I'm kinda surprised that nobody has done a "Chapel Roll" joke
Satan?!
Oh, thankfully Jasmine remembered the change of DC
"STOP FIDGETING", fuck yeah, nice callback
Oh, the way the dice conspired for Garen to just, obliterate the stone pillar
68 points of damage to the pillar, as a level 0 character, freakin' Matt Mercer
Crokas going full Godzilla vs the Muto
Seriously, thanks to Alex for finally showing the world the idea that the coolest fucking thing ever is basically Batman Godzilla
ASMODEUS
Fuckin' key man, I knew there was something shady
Oh, the fucked up boy was a vessel for Asmodeus
Brennan's got the Lord of the Hells just, nailed to a T, he basically made how he's supposed to be in Exandria, there's an edge and a special charisma to him that I really kinda missed when Matt played him in the final episodes of the C3, where it kinda felt a bit more, stereotypical evil. I remember writing in one of these posts something similar, there was a moment when Asmodeus talked with Braius and that was the best moment when Matt kinda channeled Asmodeus the way Brennan played him. Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't a dig at Matt, is just, Brennan basically made the blueprint so whenever it kinda veers a bit, it feels odd.
"It's dwarven for 'get fucked'"
I was waiting for someone to roll into the "ASMODEUS" part from Ghost's "Year Zero"
We went full Kingdom Hearts with the key going into Timothy's chest and giving it a soul
You can add a Timothy to your inventory
Why is Asmodeus so focused on Garen btw?
And down goes Erro, like a fucking boss, saving Garen in his last moment, what a legend
That "thank you for setting me free" sounded like a thing a God would say to me
"I Lied"
The Moonweaver went to the Lord of the Hells and told him "you can't bullshit a bullshitter", and it was glorious
See, the Platinum Dragon returned just as Erro died
Oh Liam
"I think you have a second chance to be somebody's mom... Don't fuck it up"
I WAS BORN TO BE A HOME FOR THE DEVIL
Kephekedriel!!
"I wanna be different"
Crokas founder of the Cobalt Soul confirmed
I love Crokas so much, what an amazing character
And now I'm sobbing
To teach people that no matter how lonely they feel, they're never alone
Oh, now only Matt and Brennan are at the table, I just know this is gonna be special
Dragonstrike!
Look at Garen founding Kraghammer, we've seen already 2 cities being founded
A town named Bend you say? In a swamp? This is Stilben isn't it?
It's still Bend, hahahaha, amazing
Oh, Liam's back, what's going on
Erro was Bahamut, I knew it
Oh wait, wait... is Garen the All Hammer?
That "gotcha" from Brennan
"That world that YOU created"
Oh, and it was special in the subtitles
I just joined the dots, this was all a love letter to Exandria and to Matt's work, incredible
Oh man, Liam describing everything with such joy like, the love letter to Matt
The voices weren't memories, they were prayers
What a world he made
It's clear that Matt had no idea this was going to happen
This brought me memories from Liam's one shot and the way he basically expressed his love for his friends back then
Two brothers, from eternity until forever
Well, that ending was marvelous. What a way to cap 10 years of storytelling.
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MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.
#act 3 come through please 🙏#I don't think it can salvage some of the things I have contentions with but still... please...#don't ask me about the silco vander flashback with jinxs + vis mom#or the bizzare choice to do so much of the storytelling through this weird music video format they've got going on#completely stripping it of the weight these plot beats could've had if they were... normal scenes#and also missing the point of how the music was used in season 1 and what made it so effective#bc it was complementary to instead of replacing the storytelling#seriously don't ask me about these things I will spontaneously implode on the spot#whyyyyy would they recontextualize season 1 like this with that flashback#to me it kind of ruins the character dynamics and themes in s1. it just makes me so sad you have no idea#also what even are they doing with Jinx rn for real#aaarghhhh just... so many things that are making me scratch my head#also I'm so terribly sorry but I could not care less about Isha sorry lol#like i get that its sad conceptually but she was such a non-character that i struggle to feel impacted at all#same with sky tbh. i thought her role in s1 was alright but there is so much emotional weight put on her now#in terms of her relationship to Viktor but that was barely established so it's weird to have her around#and clearly you're supposed to care but they haven't given me much reason to#isha and sky were non-characters just there to die to further the development of other characters#they didn't really have anything going on on their own and that's just a type of character and plot device that does nothing for me#also i thought the war between zaun and piltover + internal struggles in zaun bc silcos gone would be the main focus#but that stuff seems so sidetracked rn#also sorry i dont like what they did with vander and warwick either. that man should've stayed dead lol#it honestly just makes his death feel less impactful and i dont know what this is supposed to do for the story or the themes???#that just feels like a pointless plotline that is taking up time that could've been spent on other things#i just... i could go on like this for a while like there are so many things that just puzzle me#it's so weird considering how tight and thematically consistent season 1 was#let's see where act 3 goes but... i kinda have a bad feeling about it ngl#obv im glad others are enjoying it and this is just my opinion! also a lot of this are probs just my personal tastes anyway#arcane spoilers
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You are a seventeen year old lesbian. You ran away from home and are lying about every aspect of yourself in order to work your way up the ranks of the war crime factory, and it’s working— you got promoted to work directly under the citystate governor as personal security for him and his family. And now you have a crush on his wife. (would that be fucked up or what?)
#just me#look I drew a thing#an ballad brothers#Ari ballad brothers#Ari’s mom ballad brothers#<— she has a name idk why I’m tagging her like that#anyway. top ten funniest situations to put that guy in.#this is like fifteen years before the main story lmao it’s funny to see An so. uh. well#top ten guys who Knows Exactly What They’re About by the time the story rolls around#they’re Cool and it’s on purpose#here? not so much#also I DID do the math wrong Ari should be like five or six by the time an got promoted but I drew this in half an hour at 3am yesterday#Ari’s dad. was also supposed to be there. but I forgor what he looked like and it’s too late now#also an. bestie. bud. she is NOT worth it she’s so nothing lady#she’s an Instagram influencer and she’s raising that child in the BEIGEST of houses#and she’s literally gonna die of pneumonia in like 1-3 years#top ten ladies who does not really think employees count as people#idk if she’s straight or aroace or what but she’s definitely not into genderweird dykes#(not that an is especially aware of that part yet.)#(also they’re aroace aswell but they’re dyke in the gender with a big heaping side of No Actual Gender At All)#Yk how it is with spaghetti
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#im such a private person irl and for what like what purpose does this serve#all it does is distance me from people and keep me from making deep deep connections i know that very well#its just the act of opening up and being vulnerable especially when people aren’t groveling for me to open up is so unimaginable and#horrible#why do i do this like why i rlly dont want to share anything abt myself i just wanna know everything abt everyone while not sharing#anything abt myself#and then at the same time i am feel deeply disconnected and not understood and not known by anyone in my life except my mom#which im grateful for at least i have her but why cant i be that same way with friends i have literally had for 20+ years#i know i have to open up unprompted like without someone begging me to do so or its just gonna get worse and worse#but at the same time if there is this friend and shes curious idk theres just a million different things running through my head and im#just not ever a 100% honest or genuine with them#i guess in a way i also want to be seen in a certain light and as a certain someone and i do try to preserve an image of sorts even though#thats ridiculous to do with your fucking friends idk i guess im pretentious as shit?#i dont even know anymore#more than anything its like often when i share sth that was hard for me to open up abt i feel like ppl dont treat that with care or at#least havent in the past#and i rlly rlly hated that a lot and just i dont know#i told my mom some of the things my friends have said to me which has upset me and she was it sounds like they dont know you at all#and then she said but can i tell you that this is your own fault#and im like. i know. whag are they supposed to do#idk why am i like this what purpose does this serve omg id love to spend a day as an oversharer irl just to get a glimpse of what its like#i know this sounds odd bcs me online is just pure word vomit but thats probably also overcompensation cause i dont share these things with#my friends aka the ppl who i should actually be talking to#anyways
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Ray's After Ending is so funny because for a good chunk of it, most of the RFA members are knocked out by V's sleeping gas (Saeran is immune, Saeyoung isn't present bc he was kidnapped by his agency under his father's orders and MC wakes up in like an hour) but the game has a call feature where you can call the characters and it would be a waste if you couldn't use it bc the characters were unavailable so instead they have other people pick up the call (Jumin's driver picks up Jumin's phone, Jumin's father picks up Zen's phone, Yoosung's friends and mom pick up Yoosung's phone and Jaehee's coworkers pick up Jaehee's phone) and we do get to learn about the characters from outsider's point of view but it's so funny to me that these people are visiting their loved ones and suddenly the phone rings and they decide to just. answer it. and start talking to this stranger they've never met
#prince's talk tag#maybe its not actually weird people just pick up their loved one's phone call for them but i personally wouldn't#i cant stop thinking about how its Jumin's father that uses Zen's phone like Chief Han what were you doing in Zen's room??#i know they needed to assign somw character to Zen and he's not on speaking terms with his family#but I would of thought Chief Han would go to Jumin and the driver could go to Zen#does this mean something? am i thinking too hard about this?#also rip yoosung his friends and mom lowkey kinda dragging him in their call with you#and with the friends since one of them is a girl one of the options is like 'A girl?!?! are you dating??' and shes like 'no lolol'#'he's nice but i dont see him like that'#the main thing that made me make this post was thinking about Yoosung's mom saying how Jumin calls her sometimes and sends her holiday gift#like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! idk man that just plays on a loop in my head#i know thats like a very professional thing to do. Jumin was raised to please people in a business capacity#and the he cares about the RFA so yea it makes sense. im sure he has gifts sent out to companies his works with#and I'm sure if the other members had a good relationship with their parents hed do the same with them#but in the RFA Yoosung and I guess V are the only ones with parents they talk to#idk if he sends a gift to V's father tho bc we never talk to him#but man. while i know hed do it with the other members if he could just the fact he does it with Yoosung is sweet#and it makes the part in Seven's route where he calls Yoosung's mom about her son's dilemma make sense to me bc they do talk once in a whil#so its not too out of the blue when he does it i guess#but man can we talk about how awesome Jaehee is? bc her coworker that picks up her phone spends every call gushing about her#like we knew she's great at her job but man hearing her coworker talk about her fills me with such love and admiration#and she's apparently really loved by the other assistants too like they all gush about her#jaehee is the best character in the game im not joking around#they wanna get close to her but bc she's their boss it's hard T_T#and the one that picks up the phone wishes Jaehee knows she was the one that stood with her overnight when she wakes#Yuni (the assistant you're talking to) says she would of quit the job had it not been for her#LIKE!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA!!!!#it was a nice way to use the call feature during the first two days of the characters not being awake to answer#and even though this is supposed to be the last thing you play before completing the whole game#you still learn something new about the characters you've known since day 1
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I’ve been having a rough few days, but I’ve been feeling a bit better so I decided to make some lil thingies for some spiraling upwards kitties :3
#keese draws#warrior cats oc#spiraling upwards#I’ve posted art of ratstar and pigeonbillow before but the other three I haven’t I think#but yeah these are some more of the minkclan founders#and by that I mean two of them are and one of them was a kitten at the time#lightning is haveniris’ mom but she didn’t trust herself to raise him so her clanmates sort of collectively raised him#and by that I mean mostly pigeon and two other old ppl that aren’t included here#light did end up opening up to him more and acting as more of a mom after he chose to become a medic tho#the two have a complicated relationship for sure but they still care abt each other a lot#oh yeah and literally all of these guys are dead by the time murtle rolls around except for haven#pigeon died about two years before the other two and raincinder has been dead since before minkclan was properly founded#which is unsurprising given she’s such an old withering woman#she mostly made it that long because she was given a guide sponsor life#so long story short not all starclan cats actually get to use the cool starclan powers and those who do are usually ‘sponsored’ with an#extra life and a cool star like marking#this isn’t a well known thing tho and even within starclan only higher ranking cats rly know anything beyond knowing that every now and#then new guides are chosen#now usually what’s supposed to happen is that the sponsored cat has a close eye kept on them and if they are deemed worthy they’re allowed#to keep their mark and become a guide once they die the second time#the main flaw in this system is that the cat who sponsored them has to be the one to revoke it#so if they refuse to revoke it for whatever reason there’s not much that can be done about it#or in raincinder’s case her sponsor ended up fading before they could judge her fully#so even though by all means even the most rebel friendly guides would revoke it easily she managed to keep her mark til death#this was ofc largely helped by her living til 19 fucking years dear god woman#but hey I guess it means minkclan gets a guide even though she’s a rly shitty one#rly that mostly only matters for the sake of nine lives and the sake of travel between starclan and the living territories#which actually does cause a lot of problems when all the guides decide to go haunt a child instead#oh also guides also pass on their mark to leaders who’s life ceremony they hosted#not the guide role tho each guide gets a new mark
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love waking up to my mom giving me an ultimatum and ordering that i have to give up my (admittedly expensive) apartment 1n 2 weeks and move back home for good. i had stuff to do today but i guess being gripped by dread and anxiety works too
#i had been thinking about moving to a smaller one too. but now she's ordering me to do that#and expects me to move back home#when my university and all of my two friends are in the city.#and i have TWO WEEKS to live here if she wants me to move before summer because i have to go back home anyway in early may#for my summer job.#like sure i wouldve understood like a hey. my child. your financial situation is oretty tough so i have some suggestions that could help#but she was like okay here's whay you do: option a) [something i couldnt do before fall] b) find a cheaper apartment and live in two weeks#c) move home for good and commute over an hour any day you have university stuff to do and also essentially lose access to your#friends and all and any independence you have managed to cobble together so i can treat you like a child and yeall at you#the last part wasnt included but it's what she does anyways so i assume it's part of the deal#then i would have to commute or drive an hour any time i wanted to see either of my friends. after every summer im already#tired and desperate to come back to my apartment to get to be on my own. and now she's saying i have to never do that again#and here's the fuckin thing. her husband is planning on fixing my car. my mom pays my phone bill. i know what a loser i am whatever.#she actually owns my dogs and my childhood home. i cannot. piss her ofd too much. because then i'll lose all of those#phone. whatever i can get a new one. car. slightly more heartbrwakin but like i still own it. but the house?#my dogs?? i think i would rather die atm if im being honest#so what the fuck am i supposed to do. huh.#maybe i should just walk into the sea foe good i feel like that would just so neatly solve all of my problems
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every time I have to deal with my mother guilt tripping me or saying whatever shit she wants to make me upset, it just makes me miss my boyfriend so much to the point where I feel embarrassed about it because I know I wouldn’t be this needy if I wasn’t living here
#and I know that like your partner is supposed to be there for you through the hood and bad#but like!! it’s not fair that this is the problem I’m having!! we’re not that old that we need to be dealing with parent stuff all the time!#I’m so fucking sad oh my god#if I’d just stayed in Seattle and found a way to make it work#I know everything happens for a reason but GOD#this has been terrible#he’s literally gonna graduate college#like that’s the big stress thing that should be in our lives rn#not my mom#I want to have this cute little life where I just do the jobs I want to do#and so does he and we make money and go home and see each other and just all of this cute shit#but nope! I’m here! in a room that I hate in a house that I hate!!!#godddddddddddd#I want to have the time to think about stupid things but I don’t!!#because my mom is just!! right there!!#she doesn’t even fucking get it and she’ll never get it until I leave#oughhhhhhhhhhh
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my niece said something to me to yesterday that i can't stop thinking about, said that they were working on mother's day projects in class and she started making it for me before she remembered that im not her mom
#she said it really playfully and she found it funny#but while flattering i still feel a little guilty#because yknow she *has* a mom. who's actively in her life and who lives with her everyday of the week#im probably reading too much into it but it bummed me out a little#like she really should think about her mom on mother's day not me#mickey.txt#ive said it before but my sister in law is a good mom#she does try more to be her friend than her mom but overall she's nothing but loving and attentive#she helps her with her homework takes her to dance and gymnastics and helps her with her routines#like she does all the Mom things she's supposed to do and she does it well and proudly#like she isn't as firm as my family thinks she is but she is not a bad mother#i just hang out with my niece yknow?#like we watch cartoons together and i know fun trivia and i let her help me bake or garden#but outside of like giving her a look when she's giving her mom a hard time i don't really parent her#we are close but everyone agrees im like a big sister of an aunt yknow#like even my mom/her grandma is more of a mom to her than me#idk#again im probably reading too much into it#i just feel a little guilty
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so. as you may know it’s christmas eve. as you probably don’t know i am eastern european. and probably the only real tradition anyone holds onto is christmas eve. normally my great aunt does all the food and very begrudgingly sometimes lets everyone help make like. one thing.
well.
this year. the year of our lord two thousand and twenty four. she decided she was done cooking and it was up to everyone else.
so i got a phone call from my mom a few weeks ago being like hey so. you’re making the cake. got it? good.
the cake in question is a walnut cake. i was entrusted with my great aunts recipe about seven years ago. i’ve made it twice. the first time i fucked up the frosting quantity. the second time i fucked up the eggs. both times were passable at best and notably! my great aunt did not taste either of them.
and i have to make this cake. on christmas eve. it is dessert. for everyone. my extended family will all be eating the cake. the walnut cake. on christmas eve. even my great aunt.
so yesterday, december 23 if you are counting, i went on the annual Last Minute Christmas Food Shopping Trip with my father, watched him climb into the case to get his half and half like he does every year, and stressed about my cake as i made sure i had all of the ingredients.
then. we went to my great aunts house. where i was met with Trial Number 1: The Cognac
this cake has cognac in the frosting. not a big deal really. except for the fact that my mom hates that there is cognac in the frosting. (my mom is hell bent on making christmas eve dinner vaguely healthier. no one else agrees.) and i was to be making the cake in my moms house.
also important to note: we (as in my parents) do not own cognac. mostly because none of us drink.
so my great aunt is like oh i have to give you the cognac. cause she knows. i am baking the cake. the walnut cake. (my dad told her. he is a traitor). and i say okay. sure. this won’t be a problem at all.
so she gives me. a shot of cognac. and when i say a shot. i mean an Entirely Full Shot Glass of Three Hundred Dollar Cognac. in a jar. for the cake. the walnut cake. that i have to make.
upon bringing the cognac home my mom says no we’re not putting that in. the cognac sits on the counter in its jar. no one touches it.
then i was met with Trial Number 2: The Frosting.
this recipe requires a pound of chopped walnuts. first. i couldn’t even find the walnuts. my sister and i searched high and low and in every cabinet we could find but no nuts. i called my mom. and said mom where are the walnuts? and she said. “they’re in the nut bag behind the basement door.”
oh of course. how could i have missed the nut bag? a holiday bag full of bags of nuts that was half hidden by wrapping paper and also behind a door?
in any case. could i have used a food processor? absolutely. did i? no. half because i forgot and half because i didn’t want to accidentally grind the walnuts into a paste. so i enlisted the help of my younger sister to chop the walnuts By Hand while i embarked on the real devil: the frosting.
which remember. is supposed to have cognac.
so i cream my butter. i add my sugar. i’m careful not to over sugar. i taste it a million times. i add my coffee and my vanilla extract (instead of cognac. which is still sitting on the counter) and it was all going so well until. the butter rebelled.
now remember. one time when i made this. seven years ago. i made too little frosting. so i made more this time. and i thought i had all my conversions right but evidently i did not because suddenly there was too much liquid in my frosting and it split.
the frosting for the walnut cake that everyone was going to eat. on christmas eve. the very next day.
i felt like a contestant on great british bake-off getting smited by the tent.
so i did the logical thing and shoved the whole mess into the fridge hoping that it would sort itself out overnight.
then it was time to face Trial Number Three: The Cake Itself.
as i have said this cake is a walnut cake. the christmas eve walnut cake that has been at christmas eve longer than i have been alive. and it requires no less than ten egg whites. which i whipped and i added to my walnuts and shoved the whole thing into the oven in my two baking dishes.
only to discover no less than 40 minutes later that the batter in the pans was Not Even (despite my best efforts). so i cooked one longer than the other and hoped that i hadn’t monumentally fucked up the walnut cake. like i had the frosting. which was in the fridge. and i was ignoring.
which leads to Trial Number Four: The Egg Yolk Cake
see i had ten egg yolks. i didn’t know what to do with them. my mom said flush them. my dad said make a custard. i proposed making egg nog. my mom said she didn’t want it in the house cause it was too fattening (a blatantly incorrect statement. please, if you are reading this, go drink a glass of eggnog. or some other fun festive drink. food is for the soul.) so i produced a recipe for an egg yolk pound cake. i made it. i still don’t know if it came out good cause i haven’t tasted it. i hope it did. but that was not the point. the point is the walnut cake. the christmas eve walnut cake.
and the following morning i was met with Trial Number Five: The Frosting Part 2
first i threw my failed frosting back in the mixer and it immediately secreted a brackish combination of vanilla extract and coffee so i did the only thing i could. facetimed my dad and said “father there are problems abound.” and he gave me the fatherly advice of “make it again.”
and so i did.
with more correct measurements. still scared it would split at any second.
though it didn’t.
and i didn’t add the cognac.
maybe no one will be able to tell???
my mom said that if anyone asks the first batch of frosting failed and i had to toss it. this is technically true.
but i had frosting. i had two uneven cakes. and it was time for Trial Number Six: Decorating
decorating cakes is easily in my top ten least favorite activities. decorating the christmas eve walnut cake is easily in my top three least favorite activities. because i am terrible at decorating cakes. and also because it has a filling.
the filling is jam. and i once again made the wrong choice because i put the jam on first before the frosting. which to be fair is what the directions say. but as everyone knows, the directions in recipes you get from your eastern european great aunt are not the real directions. so now i had to smear butter cream. on top of jam. for the filling of the walnut cake. for christmas eve. that we would be eating in a few hours.
and we didn’t have a cake plate. we had a large dish.
i had to use my fingers. i had to use three spatulas. i got jam everywhere. but i did it. and as soon as i set the top cake on top of the filling i realized my monumental mistake: i was supposed to trim down the cakes.
so now they were uneven. and lopsided. and there was nothing i, a mere mortal tasked with the impossible task of making christmas eve walnut cake, could do about it.
so i continued to spread my frosting. which i had enough of. and tried and failed to not get jam everywhere.
in the end it was almost presentable. not great. slightly lopsided. and definitely not as nice as any of my great aunts cakes.

which left me with Trial Number 7: Chilling It
our fridge was being taken up by other important christmas eve things (though not as important as my cake. the walnut cake) so i had to put it in the car. which was fine because there is snow on the ground.
i covered my cake. the walnut cake. in tin foil and hoped i wouldn’t accidentally squish it. and then i went outside. i tried to steal my moms shoes to walk outside. she was not impressed.
“you know, saph,” she said. “some of the time you’re pretty great. the other half of the time you’re really weird.”
i could not agree more.
i put my cake on the trunk. prayed to the cake gods and went inside.
on the one hand if the cake is good, i will be stuck making walnut cake for christmas eve for the rest of my life. on the other hand, if it sucks i will never have to make another one.
Trial Number Eight: The Tasting still waits.
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every day I am thankful that my mom and my grandma are not typical women and by that I suppose I actually mean stereotypical woman as portrayed by the media in a patriarchal society because does a typical woman really exist. there's 10 million+ ways to be a woman. I guess I'm saying that I'm thankful that they never told me that I have to do xyz or be this or that because I'm a girl or have to be feminine or "ladylike". I heard that message, sure, but from the media and girls my age and even my sister and it got to me, yes, sure, but not from them. I guess I'm thankful that they didn't limit me in that sense and that I saw them not conform to some things women are "expected" to do and I saw that you can do that and still be a great woman and not fail and be Cool too
#idk sometimes i feel like lol its obvious all that feminine trad woowoo is bullshit but then i realise oh a lot of people Do believe that.#that something makes you less of a woman. no it does not. there are women just like you who feel the same. idk#my grandma was not that nice when i was a lil kid but when i was a teenager me and my mom kinda got her to question the shit patriarchy#feeds us and idk does my grandma conform to what an older woman is supposed to be like these days no#not really she only does the things she actually Likes#don't wanna go on a longer rant about womanhood im gonna shut about now#SHUT UP sorry 😔
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my parents are such funny people in the deeply insidious way that conservative parents always are. (i do not mean funny in an actual comedic sense, i mean it in an ironic / insulting one).
like ever since my stint in the hospital my mom has been fussing about making sure to keep my stress levels low because stress can affect blood pressure and how i need to take it easy at my job more. meanwhile while she’s saying this she’s - as always - loudly blasting her 48294884 deeply right-wing podcasts she tunes into religiously every single day and it’s like hmmmm. Have you not considered that maybe THESE and the shit they spout in them (and the rhetoric you and dad parrot in response) are perhaps a greater influence on my stress level than my job even at its worst
#the answer is no because the average conservative cares more about their conservatism than the people around them#our stark contrast in political views is known by my parents and we’ve gotten into several fights over it because they like 2 push me ovr i#like my mom yelled at me for 20 mins straight once during that stupid fucking ‘haitians are eating pets’ propaganda scare bc i told her i#didn’t believe her and then googled it to prove it wasn’t true. and she yelled at me for using google instead of taking her at her word#sorry now i’m thinking again about how when i was in the fucking er my parents were lecturing me on ensuring i dont get vaxxed there#like is your insane trumpie agenda that prominent to you? NOW ISNT THE TIME I’M AT RISK FOR HEART ATTACK & STROKE. IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM.#Customer service does get very stressful but being in this house is so much worse genuinely.#bri.txt#like how the hell am i supposed to exist normally with minimal stress when i can hear my parents consuming podcasts talking about how lgbt-#people should lose rights. or with their dinner time conversations abt whether p*lestine deserves to exist or be genocided. I hate it here#[censored the country name to keep it out of the tags bc they dont need my personal rant in there clogging it]#which is like. an actual thing theyve discussed and it’s like god i hope this house explodes with all of us in it genuinely shut the fuck u#like what the fuck is wrong with you how do you have this little compassion for people because of your stupid fucking conservative agendas#and you think my JOB is the main source of stress in my life? when i’m still at my parents consuming this shit daily? My job? You think so?#i feel insane being here i need out
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‧₊˚ ⋅ i'll show you, rafe cameron
stepbro!rafe x fem!reader
masterlist
synopsis. in which your stepbrother kindly offers to show you porn for the first time.
warnings. stepbro!rafe, innocent!reader (but she's not an airhead), virgin!reader, smut, fingering, rafe putting in just the tip, oral sex (fem receiving), rafe licks his own creampie.
word count. 4k.
author's note. idea by @matts1andonly. english isn't my first language so there might be spelling mistakes, don't hold it against me. enjoy!



it's past midnight when you finally slide out of your bedroom without making a sound. you have been waiting patiently for your mom and ward to go to bed so you can do this without risking getting caught. wheezie is already asleep too, sarah is out with john b somewhere, and rafe left the house earlier, not telling anyone where to, so you know he's going to arrive late, as always.
it's the perfect moment.
rafe's room is down the hallway, so you make your way there quietly not to wake anyone, your barefoot feet making soft footstep sounds when you walk. once there, you open the door as carefully as you possibly can, knowing it creaks every time it gets open. this time, thanks to god, it does not.
you manage to sneak into the dormitory unnoticed, then shut the door behind you. the place is dark, only a faint glimmer of moonlight coming in through his curtains, but you want to lay low, so you don't turn on the lights. by all means, the dim lighting is enough for you to spot what you're looking for.
rafe's mac, laying there on his desk.
what's the point behind all of this? you might be wondering. well, let me answer you real quick. turns out, this handsome, muscled college guy has invited you on a date. problem is, you have never been on a date. you haven't even hold hands with a guy romantically before, much less kissed or fucked one. you simply refuse to come off as a prude, which honestly you are, but that dream of a man doesn't need to know that.
and that's why you have decided that it is a good idea to break into your stepbrother's bedroom and borrow his laptop, since yours broke last week, to watch porn in it for the first time.
well, now that you hear it out loud, it probably sounded better in your head. anyways...
you stroll towards the desk with languid steps and sit down on rafe's chair, small hands reaching hesitantly to open the laptop. you turn it on and the screen light illuminates your pretty face right away. you swear your fingers are shaking a little bit as you open up the browser and type 'porn videos' on the search bar.
somehow, you feel like you are doing something wrong, and you can't seem to shake the guilt away. either way, you don't back out. you click the enter button and, after just a few seconds, a million search results pop up. honestly, you don't know where to start, so you click on the first one, which redirects you to a website called pornhub.
the home page is full of videos, the first thing to catch your attention being the obscene thumbnails of each one of them. your cheeks flush a deep shade of red. you read some of the titles as you bite your lip nervously, realising most of them contain the word 'stepsister' in them, and you wonder if that is the only content posted on this page.
how innocent of you not to know that the website is making recommendations based on your stepbro's most searched tag.
before things escalate further, you spot rafe's airpods max sitting there on the desk and decide to grab them, connecting them to the laptop and putting them on —this way you can make sure no one overhears anything. after that, you spend a few more minutes scrolling through the page, during which you discover that there's a ton of categories to choose from.
how are you supposed to know which one to pick?
you are so invested in your little research, headphones canceling the noise, that you don't hear neither rafe opening the front door nor him walking up the stairs and, surely, don't notice him standing behind you until he speaks. and it's too late by then.
"the fuck are you doing, sweetheart?" he blurts, complete and utterly shocked to see his naive stepsister fuckin' watching pornhub.
well shit, maybe you aren't as innocent as he thought you were.
you jolt instantly, jumping out of your seat as you feel all the colour draining from your cheeks. no way rafe just caught you in the act. this can't be real. despite how bad you want to run away, you are left with no other choice but to turn around and face him, wishing the earth would swallow you up.
"i– this is not what it looks like, i swear i can explain," you stutter nervously, taking of the airpods with trembling hands. from here on, the anxious rambling begins, "i wasn't doing anything... this guy– well, i... i uhm– i got a date, 'kay? with this guy from class and– listen, i know this is silly, but..."
"jesus christ, baby, slow down, 'kay?" he stops you, his heart nearly melting from how cute you look, so shy and flustered. he almost feels bad for interrupting whatever the hell you were doing here.
the colour has returned to your cheeks, and you are all flushed now, from head to toe. your face feels like it's on fire; you have never been this embarrassed before.
"could you please start over?" he asks, hoping to hear a coherent explanation to why you are in his room, in the middle of the night, and watching porn on his laptop.
you take a deep breath, fidgeting with the hem of your top. you are so deeply ashamed that you don't seem to remember that you are wearing nothing but a flimsy white singlet and a tiny pair of matching panties. rafe's very aware of that fact, though, hungry eyes trailing all over your beautiful body.
"i've got a date with a guy from class," you start explaining, white teeth nibling occasionally on your plump bottom lip, "but i've never dated anyone, ya' know? i've no experience, and i don't want him to think i'm pathetic if we..."
"fuck?" he finishes your sentence, a roguish grin spreading across his handsome face.
if possible, your blush deepens even more at the vulgarity while you mutter a quiet 'yeah' in response.
honestly, he is a bit jealous of that guy. not only you are willing to let him fuck you, but you are also trying to learn how to do it properly so he has a good time doing it. yeez, what a shame for him he is going to kill him as soon as he finds out who he is; there's no chance rafe's letting you near any other man but him.
"i thought, uhm, maybe watching that would help..." you add coyly, his silence making you more nervous.
it is cute how you try to avoid saying words like 'fuck' or 'porn', like it is a crime to pronounce them or something.
"you know what? let's watch it together," he proposes.
there's a mischievous glint in his eyes that doesn't go unnoticed. you swear your cheeks might just explode at any second, and you can't help the pathetic stutter that comes out when you talk. "uhm, i don't think that'd be appropriate," you refuse, shaking your head.
"why not? you want help, and i can help you here, sweetheart," he answers, his voice surprisingly soft and gentle —unlike rafe, "that's what big brothers are for, aren't they?"
he takes a few steps in his direction until he is standing right beside you. then, he grabs the laptop in his large hands as he flashes you a wicked smirk, his curtain bangs falling messily on his forehead. you gulp, having him so close makes you feel a certain way; you cannot deny that.
"you, uhm, being my stepbrother is exactly why not," you stammer as you tilt your head back to look at him, his height towering over you.
"bullshit," he retorts, huffing. "you trust me?"
your first mistake is, probably, trusting rafe cameron. "yeah, i do, but..."
"that's why 'm perfect for the job, baby," he interrupts you. his words are clearly intended to manipulate you, but you are way too innocent to notice it, "i'm probably the guy you feel most comfortable with, aren't i? i can give ya' all the advice you need."
to be fair, he isn't wrong about that. you don't have any male friends, and you are honestly too embarrassed to ask your girlfriends for help on this department, not wanting them to think less of you. plus, rafe is a guy; he knows better what guys like, right?
"wouldn't it be kinda... weird ?" you ask, clearly hesistant.
"weird?" he repeats. "no, 'course not."
only a few more sweet, reassuring words is all it takes for him to gently coax you into watching his favourite pornos with him. his cock starts to harden in his pants just at the thought of having you like that. when you finally accept, he swears he's on cloud nine.
god, he's been wanting you for months now; he can't believe this is happening.
"c'mere, baby," he eagerly instructs you, getting on his bed.
he sits with his back resting on the headboard and pats the spot between his legs to invite you to sit there. he places the laptop next to him, the pornhub website still open on it. you move slowly towards him, cheeks slightly flushed from the embarrassment as you settle on the mattress in between his parted thighs, your back pressed to his hard chest.
he wraps one strong arm securely around your waist, his hand coming to rest gently on your tummy. with his other hand, he reaches for the laptop sitting beside him, carefully bringing it closer so the two of you can see the screen properly.
your heart is beating so fast in your chest that he can probably hear it, too. the way he is touching you is not making it easier for you to stay calm, either, his fingers tenderly tracing patterns on your belly over the thin fabric of your shirt while he scrolls through the page.
he seems to sense your discomfort and chuckles low in his throat, his warm breath tickling your ear. "relax, sis," he whispers teasingly, his voice laced with amusement. "i'm not gonna make you watch anything that'll traumatize you."
"it's just– this is a bad idea," you babble, fidgeting nervously when he finally clicks on a video and a pretty young woman appears on screen.
the actress is beautiful; she has a gorgeous body and face. her lips are full and pink, and she has these big, expressive eyes that appear to gleam. and you don't realize it, but she looks exactly like you.
the scene starts playing; in it, the girl is watching some movie with a guy that, apparently, is her roommate —at least that's what the title says.
"shhh..." he hushes you softly, his voice barely audible over the sounds emanating from his laptop's speakers. "just watch. don't overthink it."
"okay," you answer between gritted teeth.
your pretty eyes are fixed on the laptop while you try not to cringe at how bad the script and acting are, which is nearly impossible, to be honest. despite that, you keep watching in silence as the video plays, growing more flustered as the clock ticks.
you didn't know mouths could be used for that... interesting.
as opposed to you, rafe's pretty chill behind you, like he's unbothered by this whole situation —he's actually hard as fuck inside his pants, the thing is you haven't noticed. you wonder how he can act so unfazed, since you keep pushing your thighs together to try and soothe the throbbing sensation building in between them while you take in the lewd actions occurring on screen.
you weren't expecting your body to have this reaction, and now you don't know what to do to make it stop.
rafe soon becomes aware of the way you keep letting out soft sighs and squirming in his arms, plush ass rubbing against his cock every time you do it. it's a miracle he is still holding back, though he doesn't know how much time he will be able to.
he's not even paying attention to the video anymore, his entire focus put on you. he finally ventures to lean in, his hot breath grazing the shell of your ear as he whispers, "you know, i could do that to you..." his hand slowly slides to your plush thigh and he gives it a gentle squeeze.
his movements are measured and controlled not to scare you, but your breath hitches in your chest at his actions either way, body tensing up in his grasp. your brain is telling you to push him away, but the insistent throb in your sex doesn't like that idea, not one bit.
"you– you could?" you utter quietly, not taking your eyes away from the laptop.
rafe notices the uncertainty in your voice, but the way you haven't pushed him away yet emboldens him to continue, his large hand gradually sliding north.
"yeah, baby," he murmurs huskily against your ear, fingertips brushing along your inner thigh. "i could put my fingers inside you, just like he's doing to her..."
his words make you blush heavily as a little gasp is released from your pouty lips. "would it feel good?" you ask naively.
your eyes are transfixed in the sight of the guy on the screen pushing his fingers inside the girl's pussy. god, she seems like she's enjoying it so much... and you desperately want to feel like that too. you can't even bring yourself to care that it's your stepbrother offering to show you.
rafe's fingers creep higher and higher until they're barely brushing against your cotton panties. "yeah," he growls huskily against your ear, "it'd feel real good, sweetheart. i promise..."
you shudder, a sweet little mewl escaping your throat involuntarily. you can't help but blush at your own reaction, slightly embarrassed by it. you tear your eyes away from the screen, head falling back against his chest as you look up at him.
"it's throbbing, rafe..." you whine, self-control slipping from your hands. "can you make it better?"
rafe's fingers finally make contact with your wet underwear, pressing against your clit through the fabric. he rubs gentle circles around your sensitive nub, his other hand curling around your supple thigh to spread your legs wider.
"oh, baby, you're soaked through your panties..." he pants out.
your body literally melts into his touch like butter, perfectly shaped brows knitting together in a frown of pleasure. the girl in the video moans, and you do too, both sounds echoing in the silence of his room.
taking your moan as an invitation, rafe carefully hooks his fingers in the gusset of your panties to push them aside, exposing your sopping cunt to the cool air of his bedroom. then, he traces your wet slit slowly, leisurely, as if savoring the velvety feel of your skin.
"such a pretty little pussy..." he praises, eyes hungrily taking in the pink expanse of flesh.
you squirm and let out a soft whimper, biting your lip right after to avoid keep making noises; the last thing you want is to wake up your parents or wheezie. rafe notices your struggle and swiftly reaches up to cover your mouth with his free hand, muffling your sweet moans.
he gathers some of the wetness dripping out of your cunt before trailing his fingers all the way up to your clit, rubbing it gently. your eyes roll back, hips bucking up against his hand instinctively. the way your swollen bud throbs beneath his fingertips is going to make you mad. he begins to touch your clit in fast, tight circles, his other hand still holding your mouth shut to keep you quiet.
he leans in to whisper against your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine, "if you make a sound, i'll stop, got it?"
you nod obediently in response, making your best effort to comply; you don't want him to stop doing this, never. as a reward, rafe slides a thick finger down your slit and presses it against your clenched entry, steadily applying pressure until your tight muscles finally give in and allow his digit ingress.
"so fuckin' tight," he groans under his breath at the feeling of your narrow pussy engulfing his finger.
withdrawing his finger almost all the way out, he teases your entrance with the tip, making you tremble with anticipation before pushing it back in to the knuckle, his palm cupping your mound as he starts to thrust in a smooth, lazy rhythm. you swallow a whiny cry while your eyelids flutter shut, pretty face scrunched in a blissful expression.
rafe works his finger in and out of your slick pussy slowly, marveling at how your velvety walls flutter around the digit. he curls it inward, searching for that special spot that's guaranteed to drive you wild.
after a few experimental pokes, rafe's fingertip finally brushes over your g-spot, eliciting a muffled moan from under his palm. he smiles wickedly against your skin, and you shudder in his grasp, pleasure waves running through your body.
"that's it, sweetheart... feel good?" he croons softly, fingering you nice and deep.
you can't bring yourself to reply, the sensation of his large digit fucking your pussy, added to the constant rubbing of his palm against your puffy clit has your mind feeling all fuzzy. your body language is the only answer he needs, though.
rafe leans in to tenderly nip at your neck, his hot mouth latching onto your slender throat as he keeps pumping his finger steadily in and out of your dripping cunt. he knows you're close when he feels your inner muscles starting to clench erratically around his digit.
"rafe," you moan onto his palm as you feel this new, strange sensation building in your tummy, pussy tingling so nicely.
heaven help him. hearing you, his stepsister, moan his name like that makes rafe's hard dick throb almost painfully against his zipper.
and then it happens. the coil in your belly suddenly snaps and you have to bite onto your lip harshly to keep yourself from screaming as you cum for the very first time, on your stepbrother's hand. rafe continues to pump his finger in and out of your spasming cunt as you ride out your climax, wanting to prolong your pleasure.
when you finally come down from your high, you're all shaky and flustered in his arms, panting heavily to try and catch your breath. he has a satisfied smirk on his lips while he slowly withdraws his slick digit from your quivering hole to bring it up to his mouth and lick it clean, savoring your taste.
"did so well for me, baby," he coos as he uncovers your mouth, gently turning your head to the side to press a kiss to your swollen, red lips.
you return it sloppily, eyes fluttering shut in the process, and you sigh contently against his mouth. he can't help but rock his hips against your ass, rubbing his hard on against you.
"did i make you feel good?" he asks between little kisses, his breathing growing uneven. you nod in response. "yeah? then it's just fair you make me feel good too, sweetheart... wanna do that f'me?"
"yes," you whisper against his lips without even thinking, feeling him smirk into the kiss.
"such a good girl," he praises.
at some point, the porn video playing on his laptop ended, so he simply closes it up and tosses it away, the device landing somewhere on his king size bed. then, he turns you both around, until you are laying on the mattress and he is on top of you.
he is quick to undo his pants and yank them down, just enough to free his raging hard on, which bounces against his abs. let me tell you this, he's big, the tip pink and fat, already leaking precum.
suddenly, realization hits you. this is your stepbrother for god's sake, are you really gonna let him fuck you?
he notices how your body tenses up, one hand reaching to stroke your plush thigh reassuringly while the other wraps around his shaft, giving it a slow pump.
"hey, baby, relax..." he whispers gently, "i'll put just the tip in, yeah? there's nothing wrong with that."
you hesitate. his strong arms slide beneath your legs to tug you closer. then his cock brushes your pussy and you whimper. how are you supposed to say 'no' ?
it's just the tip.
"mhmm, 'kay" you end up agreeing with a little nod.
rafe flashes you a lopsided smirk, his hand gripping his cock again while the free one yanks your panties aside once more. keeping eye contact, he slowly glides the fat head of his dick up and down your drenched slit, coating it thoroughly in your arousal. you shudder as his tip eventually meets your puffy clit, the gentle rubbing sending shivers down your spine.
"rafe," you whimper.
rafe's eyelids droop, a low hum of pleasure escaping his throat as he continues to slowly drag the reddened head up and down your chubby pussy lips with squelching sounds. his breathing grows heavier the longer he teasingly rolls it against your slick folds, reveling in your breathy whimpers. he feels like he's about to burst already, pre-cum steadily leaking from the tip and onto your flesh.
he can't fucking take this anymore.
with a slow, gentle thrust, he sinks his cock into your warm, slippery pussy, just the head breaching your entrance before he pauses, savoring the initial penetration. his eyes lock onto yours, his pupils blown wide with lust.
"jesus, fuck." he grunts.
your cunt starts fluttering around him. he has barely slided the first two inches in, as he promised, but he's so thick that even that feels like a tight fit. you let out a moan, which mingles with a strained groan from rafe as your velvety walls clench tightly around his swollen cockhead.
"gonna– might just nut already, shit" rafe mutters through gritted teeth, fighting the urge to just drive forward and hilt himself deep. "so goddamn tight."
your hips buck unconsciously against his, making him slip in just a tad further —which nearly makes him lose all his self-control. somehow, he manages to keep his shit together, hips rocking slowly to thrust in and out of you while his veiny hand strokes the rest of his shaft.
you're totally enthralled by the sight, liquid heat pooling in your belly while you watch him use your body for his pleasure. he looks so good, you can't believe he's real. your chest fills with pride at the knowledge that you're making this greek god feel good.
this is the fastest rafe has ever cum, the movement of his hips becoming jerky and sloppy after a few minutes as he spills his sperm inside you. he's panting heavily, sweat beading on his brow while his fist squeezes the base of his cock tightly.
you're left wanting more when he slowly pulls out, pussy stretched out and leaking white spurts of cum. he gazes down at you with a smirk, lightly tapping the head of his dick against your swollen clit, which has you writhing beneath him.
"so fuckin' gorgeous stuffed full of my cum," he whispers, his cock smearing the sticky substance all over your slit. you mewl in response. "hmm, 'm sorry for making such a mess on your pretty pussy, sweetheart, lemme clean it up, yeah?"
you blush in response when he leans forward, throwing your creamy thighs over his broad shoulders, to put his mouth onto your sex. you almost cry at the heavenly feeling, his playful tongue delving between your folds to lap up his own release. he cleans you up thoroughly, only to mess you up again right after, his spit soaking your cunt as he makes you cum again.
after tonight, you are cancelling that date, that's for sure.
#🍒 ‧₊˚ ⋅ rafeysbunny#🍒 ‧₊˚ ⋅ one shots#obx#outer banks#obx smut#outer banks smut#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron outer banks#outer banks rafe#rafe obx#obx rafe cameron#outer banks rafe cameron#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe x you#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron x virgin!reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x innocent!reader#just the tip#stepbro!rafe#stepbrother!rafe cameron#rafe cameron x stepsister!reader
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Hmmm
#ok so i know this girl#who's nice and everything#but shes kinda like. me if i was successful. who i was supposed to be#shes pursuing baking and shes doing better with the kid business thing than i did#shes graduating hs soon and she just turned 16#it was always my goal to graduate at 16 and i did but it was a few months later than i would've liked#i was closer to 17#and she supposedly has social anxiety#and i feel like shes become the poster child for it#her parents talk about it a lot so everyone knows#and I just get the vibes that everyone's like. well SHE has such 🥺 horrible 🥺 terrible 🥺 social 🥺 anxiety 🥺#but she still does xyz. she can do xyz. she's very bubbly and talkative#and then they look at me like ??? THATS how someone with social anxiety is supposed to act ?? what is that Freak ?#also less importantly but very annoyingly . she's 'likes' Taylor bc its popular#but again. her and her parents are really loud. so somehow she's the Taylor Swift girl#which. i dont necessarily want to be the Taylor Swift girl#but she's such a tiktok entitled wheres rep tv thinks she knows everything kind of fan#and her mom especially tries to relate to me and my mom like omggg we're All Swifties™!!#and im just like. girlypop we are not the same. its not BAD to be a new fan but i know where it came from and it wasn't interest in taylor#this is my full time career. dont talk to me like we're the same 💀#BUT ANYWAY. she works at a bakery#(which at first was a little upsetting bc i was like how did this 16yo child get a baking job when im over here suffering#but its not a baking job lol its a counter job. so its not like she took a baking job from me 😭)#but apparently her boss asked if she knew anyone whod be interested in working there#and she said me#which is very nice!!#i told her to tell the boss im interested in a part time decorating job#and she wants to meet me !!#i havent talked to her personally yet so#wait im out of space. continuing in next post. im just rambling dont mind me
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─ SEVIKA × PREGNANT ! READER
- ❝ since i literally killed y'all on that, here i am, making it up :3 ❞



She hates when someone tries to touch your belly.
Sevika barely tolerates strangers on a good day, but now? The first time someone reaches out without asking, you get very uncomfortable, and your wife notices that, of course she does. They nearly get their wrist broken. "You think just ‘cause she’s pregnant, you get to touch her? Fuck off." From then on, she keeps a protective arm around you and in your belly in public, making it very clear that no one is getting too close.
You both name the baby "Isha."
In one of those rare moments, Sevika doesn’t put up a fight over your suggestion. She gazes at you for a brief moment, her eyes welling up, before she nods and manages a soft, understanding smile. "Yeah… that fits." Later on, you notice her quietly crying when she thinks you’re already asleep, and your heart aches for her.
She becomes your personal bodyguard.
Sevika has always been protective, especially now, No one dares to even look at you the wrong way. Whether you’re walking through Zaun or just sitting in a bar, she makes it very clear that you’re under her protection. If anyone so much as bumps into you, they get the death glare and if they don’t back off fast enough, they might end up with bruises. (or dead if she is in a bad mood)
Talks to the baby when you're asleep.
She won’t admit it, but she’s already completely in love with Isha before she’s even born. Late at night, when she thinks you’re sleeping, she rests her hand on your belly and murmurs to her. "You're gonna have the toughest mom, y'know? …Both of ‘em." If you tease her about it, she grumbles and denies it, saying that the "hormones" its messing with your head, but you’ve heard her.
She panics the first time you get morning sickness.
Sevika is used to handling injuries, but seeing you sick? That’s something else entirely. She stands there looking furious and helpless, hands clenched into fists. "What the fuck am I supposed to do? Kill the sickness?" Eventually, she figures out ways to help, holding your hair back, rubbing your back, bringing you water - but she still curses under her breath every time. (and maybe you even see her shaking a little while she helps you)
Refuses to let you lift a thing.
Doesn’t matter if it’s something as small as a book, she’s already taking it from you. "Sit down. I got it." If you try to argue, she just raises an eyebrow and waits for you to give up. At this point, she carries everything, from your groceries to your shoes if you so much as look tired.
She loves you, not your moods swings
When they started, she was starting to think that she was going crazy! The last drop to her was when you insisted that she make a dessert that took almost half of her day, and when it was ready, you weren't hungry anymore, she snapped at you! "FUCKING WOMAN." then, the hormones hit you again, making you cry and she instantly comforts you saying like a broken vinyl sorry, over and over
She insists on making the baby’s room perfect.
You catch her late at night, smoothing a hand over the blankets, adjusting a tiny stuffed toy, the same one she used to love when she was a little kid, making sure everything is just right. she wants this space to be perfect because this is where her kid is going to sleep, safe and sound.
Loses her mind when you go into labor.
She tries to stay calm, really, she does. But the second she hears you groan in pain, cursing even the air, all that composure is gone. She’s barking orders at everyone, pacing, and looking ready to fight time itself if it means getting you through it faster. "What do you mean it takes hours?! The kid’s gotta be ready by now!"
The moment she holds Isha for the first time, she’s done for.
Very Big, calloused hands cradle a tiny, fragile body, and for the first time, Sevika looks completely, utterly undone. She stares down at her daughter like she’s just seen the entire world change. When Isha grabs her finger with the tiniest hand, Sevika actually chokes up, but if you mention it later, she’ll deny it to her grave.
You wake up one night and see her asleep with Isha on her chest.
One of her large hands gently cradles Isha’s back, a tender gesture that radiates warmth and protection. You find yourself captivated by the scene, savoring the beauty of the moment, as it’s one of the most touching things you’ve ever witnessed in your life.
She struggles with feeling worthy.
Some nights, when she thinks you’re asleep, she sits on the edge of the bed and stares at Isha in her crib. The weight of her past lingers in her eyes—like she’s wondering if she deserves this happiness. But then you reach for her, comforting her, kissing her neck while whispering sweet words in her ears, she exhales, letting herself believe (for a few hours) that maybe she does.
Isha’s first word is "fuck."
You wish you could say you were surprised, but with Sevika as a mother, it was only a matter of time. It happens so casually, she drops something, mutters “Fuck,” and Isha, sitting in her little chair, immediately parrots it back in a tiny, triumphant voice.
Sevika freezes. You stare at her. She stares back at you. Then, after a long pause, she sighs and rubs a hand over her face. “Honey, it isn't my fault, okay? She's the one who... repeat it-”
#arcane x reader#sevika x reader#sevika#sevika arcane#sevika headcanon#sevika fluff#sevika arcane x reader#sevika imagine#wlw#lesbian#sevika x you
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family matters



Five Hargreeves x Fem!Reader Synopsis: You and Five return after seven years away in a different timeline- but you don’t return alone Word Count: 1.8k Tags: Fluff, No Lila and Five, Pregnancy, Children, Season 4 fix it (kinda) Note: Got so much love on the last one I wrote this! Try to ignore spelling mistakes it's currently 3am.
Stuck with only your irritable CIA colleague Five Hargreeves was anything but a good time. You both got lost at the godforsaken subway station he mistakenly teleported you both to. Travelling for a year by his side certainly mellowed you out. His personality slowly making you feel comforted as you both explored multiple timelines together trying to find your way home.
Surprisingly, the idea he possessed powers was the easiest thing for you to come to terms with, probably due to your job at the CIA making it seem plausible to you that the government does hide a lot- they’re even hiding the whole science of separate timelines. After around a year of trying and failing to find your way home, you and Five decided to ease off the vigorous schedule you unwittingly created, finding a timeline safe enough to stay in for a while allowing you both to rest and brainstorm ideas of how you could both find a way home to your families.
You both made a mistake. Falling to know how long a while would be you find yourselves still in the timeline you chose as your ‘temporary’ home six years later. Finding each other a lot less frustrating than at the start of this. You suppose that’s an understatement as you watched Five play with your child, a girl who possessed brown hair and green eyes not too dissimilar to her father’s. It almost wasn’t fair how much her features favoured his. But, seeing his beauty reflected upon her features could never be something you would complain about.
“Maybe if we get lucky the next one will resemble you more,” you remember his words from a few days earlier when you started to show a hand placed under your abdomen smiling as if this was the greatest gift he could ever receive. But you don’t think it would matter if this one ended up looking like their older sibling and their father. If anything you would prefer it- not that you would ever admit it.
Picking another fresh strawberry from the greenhouse of the abandoned home you now called your own. You placed it into the basket plans to make jam and jelly already filling your mind when you felt yourself begin to flush from the sweltering heat of the sun beating down upon the glass. Your skin heating up to a point of large discomfort, sweat beginning to gather at your temples. You sighed knowing that you couldn't continue to harvest anything else unless you wanted to face Five’s rath over you overheating again.
“Mom!” Maxine ran towards you eagerly hands encircling your legs as she got close enough for a welcoming hug. She quickly looked up towards you big green eyes staring at you prettily
“Hiya munchkin” You stroked the top of her hair as she smiled up at you with glee
“What doing?” the three-year-old questioned head titling as she waited for your response
“Strawberries” was all you replied grabbing the basket to show her
“Have one?” she asked pointing at the basket, batting her eyes to try to sway your decision. You simply plucked one out of the basket and gave it to her relishing in the delighted smile she sent your way before biting into the sweet fruit. You smiled at her before looking up to meet the other pair of green eyes that had made their way into the greenhouse. Five watched the interaction of his favourite girls softly only moving closer once you looked at him.
“Everything alright mumma?” he questioned noticing your flustered expression from the moment he and Maxine stepped foot in the conservatory
“A bit hot” you admitted with a shrug of your shoulders as he drew closer, trapping Maxine in between the two of you as the back of his hand touched your forehead he hummed in agreement with your words
“Let’s get you inside the house, don’t need you getting heatstroke” You forced down the urge to roll your eyes at his dramatics and simply nodded in agreement
“Some cold water and a sit down would be nice.”
He grabbed one of your hands and Maxine’s with the other leading you both back towards the house. After placing the basket of strawberries in the kitchen you quickly sat down on the couch feeling a slight ache in your feet while Five grabbed you a glass of water with more icecubes than you could even count, you smiled in thanks as he passed it to you while Maxine sat next to you, a small children book in hands that she was determined to read to you and her younger sibling as she wanted them to be just as smart as her.
You could hear Five pattering around the house, tidying up before you could even think about it. Maxine had quickly given up on trying to read, getting bored after two pages and was instead sitting playing with some wooden blocks by your feet. You furrowed your eyebrows when you couldn’t hear Five moving around anymore a stark silence surrounding you now.
“Everything alright?” you shouted trying to figure out where he had gotten to, heart fluttering when there was no reply. Setting your glass down on the table in front of you as you rose from your rather comfortable spot on the couch, you walked into the other room where your lover was his body was stick straight, eyes not daring to leave the notebook in his hand. “What?” you questioned softly walking towards him, eyeing the words on the book as you got close enough.
“This” he began astounded “Is our way home, it’s written by me but I didn’t write this. Another me did.” you simply nodded before smiling
“Looks like we’re going home.”
── ✧
You and Five found yourselves outside of what he assured you was his brother Diego’s house. Maxine who was resting her head on his shoulder, legs wrapped around his middle looked astounded by the snow while nerves filled you- the last time you saw any of his family was when you were put on the case that got you lost in the timelines to begin with and even then you barely saw his brothers and sister-in-law as they were quickly taken to hq for a show round to get them out of the way. You didn’t even want to think how you would explain this to them let alone to your own family but you guess this is the easier of the two as they all had powers and also been to multiple different timelines. Five set Maxine down next to you as he rapped on the door you quickly grabbed her hand before she could run off into the snow when the door opened
“You back!” the man, Diego you assumed, smiled as he looked at Five
“I am” he stared at his brother almost in shock that he had seen him for the first time for him in seven years
“Good” the man confirmed “We were all starting to get worried.” his eyes then turned towards you and the brunette-haired little girl who was trying to hide behind you “And you are?” he questioned and you quickly gave him your name his eyes sparking in recognition for some reason as he crouched to the ground to greet your daughter “And who is this little princess?” he asked quietly as Maxine started at him
“This is Maxine” is all you said feeling Five’s eyes on you knowing he wanted to wait until you got inside to drop the bomb you could see Diego begin to connect the dots as he introduced himself to you but he was clearly confused because he would know if Five had a child in the last three years in this timeline at least.
“I will explain everything once we get inside- can’t let the missus get cold” is all he said to Diego as the man allowed you into his home.
He quickly led you to the living room where to sat on the sofa, Maxine being picked up by Five and placed on his lap when she tried to climb onto yours, you turned towards him to complain but quickly stopped when you met his glower instead choosing to put a comforting hand on your tummy a habit you kept from your first pregnancy. Diego called for his wife Lila to come to sit with him when the door opened revealing more of Five’s family he whispered their names to you as they walked in all choosing to sit down when Diego told them that Five was going to explain where he’s been and why his colleague, a word you hadn’t been referred to as in a long time, was here. With most of his family here excluding Ben and Viktor, he cleared his throat to get their attention
“As you all know the marigold has made our powers a little different to what we are used to” They all made sounds of agreement “My blinking takes only to a tube station where each stop is a new timeline and we” gesturing to you “got stuck, unable to find our way back until now. We were away for seven years but for you has only been a few hours” he took their silence as a sign to continue “This is my wife” he spoke your name “And our daughter Maxine.” you sat in silence for a moment.
“Wait! This is the colleague he was always telling us about?” Luther asked excitedly you turned to the larger man confused when Klaus and Allison quickly agreed with him
“I thought he was joking when he said there was a cute girl who he worked cases with” Claire, Alison’s daughter, announced making her mother and uncles laugh
“I can’t believe you have a child” Lila spoke eyes wide
“Well he is going to have another one in a couple of months,” you told the already shocked woman who quickly smiled at the revelation while the others called out congratulations to their brother
“How far along are you?” Allison asked as she came up to you silently questioning if she could touch the small bump you simply nodded “We think around thirteen weeks” looking to Five who simply nodded
“She only started showing a few days ago”
“I can’t believe it” Luther called out while pulling funny faces making Maxine laugh as she got a little less shy around her family.
You smiled as you watched Maxine get up and walk towards Lilas’ children playing with them as Five’s hand found its way to yours stroking your knuckles. You never thought you could ever get home let alone come back home happier than you had left it. You suppose a thanks was due to your rather irritable husband and his wacky powers.
#five imagine#five x reader#five hargreeves#five hargreaves x reader#five#five hargreeves x reader#number five#the umbrella academy#the umberella academy#tua x you#tua imagine#tua x reader#tua s4#the umberella academy x reader
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