#like she did in the second drawing as you can probably tell 💀💀

[cashweasel]

Thinking about them a lot today 💆‍♀️ @night-triumphantt

[randomsufff]

HEHAHBFKI More South Park doodles I think I’m going insane.

Actually this is kind of the product of me being liking South Park way back in high school but was too embarrassed to draw them when I was bored in class and now it’s all kinda flooding back 💀

Read below if you want to know more about my New Kid and my thoughts behind some of the doodles cause this turned out longer then I though 💀

Anyways- introducing my New Kid. No name cause I literally have no idea. Whatever the cannon name is ig- though I’d think it’d be funny if she was referred to New Kid by literally everyone like in game. I like the idea that a lot of people have with their New Kids that they liked the makeover section with the girls during the Stick of Truth a little too much. I also like it cause… uh… I didn’t play Stick of Truth. (The combat system is not my cup of tea) So it’s not until the start of TFBW does she know shes really a girl.

To give context to the top right drawing- I couldn’t remember the dialogue Wendy says in the alleyway if you say you’re a trans girl- but I do know what she says if your a cis girl (I always knew you were a girl) cause I did a second play through as a cis girl. And I don’t know if there’s supposed to be a huge time jump between the end of Stick of Truth and TFBW but I think it would be funny if it was just the next day- so combine these two fact to get “Wendy always clocked New Kid as a girl but NK just found out yesterday 💀”

Anyways- she’s such a cutie, I love her and her cool superhero outfit I gave her. Outside of the game- I’d like to think of her basically exactly how she acts in game. Mostly non-verbal, with the occasional zingy one liner, and just kinda goes along with the crazy shit the happens in South Park un phased. Like if she was in a episode- the plot would happen and she would be on screen, but wouldn’t say anything, and anytime another character would address her, they’d respond however as if she spoke lmao. Aroace, just like me, so she’s just friends with everyone (except Cartman) and vibes with everyone.

The mini Style comic I though of cause 1) I wondered if Kyle had the same elf ears as the other elfs did in game (again, never played and it’s been a while since I saw gameplay so whoops if it’s confirmed or whatever) and 2) I thought it would be funny if Stan was caught lacking and tried to /rp his way out of it (I wanted to add an extra bit where Kyle would be like “Oh, are our characters gay for each other??? (ARE YOU /SRS OR /J STAN)” and Stan would have to just “yes, and” his way out.)

The last three images were kinda of a stream of consciousness put on paper and made neat lol. I really like showing that all the costumes the kids wear are homemade and stuff- either stuff taken from their parents or visibly taped together etc- cause I think it’s charming. Anyways- I though Kyle’s little robe could be like one of his parents bath robe- and it would be a little too long for him to run without eating shit so he’d have to hike it up like a skirt/dress. Which lead to me thinking that Cartman would say some shit about that and how Kyle, who has a literal Golf Club, would smack his ass up. Which then lead to me thinking about how since Kyle’s the Elf King and Stan’s basically his right hand how he might lift it up wedding dress style if needed (/RP GUYS, RIGHT?RIGHT???) and how Cartman would react, which lead to that one JoJo meme cause thats literally how they’d retaliate.

Always- I’ll probably have at least one more post about South Park I swear. There was a period of time before I stopped watching (I gotta pick it up again) where I would doodle a bit of whatever was happening in the episode, each episode. Crazy I know, but not only did it improve my drawing skills but it helped me remember what actually happened in episodes cause I have shit memory and definitely don’t remember some of the episodes I watched. So I might redraw some of those- see if anyone can tell what episode they’re from.

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Hiding in the bathroom from a man rn lmao

Aidlyn headcanons because...please? Please? They make me sick /positive

These aren't all fluffy or whatever because they traumatized af and relationships like that are...difficult... but not impossible.

-he's 8-ish months older than her and like, 20ish cms taller (sorry I don't know how American feet work lol 😭)

-He hyperfixated on the relationship lmao.

-Clingy...they BOTH are. In different ways I mean but. They are both clingy. They're scared the other is gonna die when they aren't around lol 🙃 Aiden is ofc very touchy and grabby, he just has to FEEL that she's with him. Also type of guy to call at 2am "hey bby u good?". Ash gets antsy if she hasn't seen or heard from him in a while (a while means like 2 hours) especially since he like spam texts her every 5 seconds. But he also hyperfixates or disassociates for a while and will forget 🤡 like she will yell at him about why he didn't call her for 17 hours and he'll just be like "um sorry. I was. Staring at a wall."

-he has a lot of weird/cringy ass pet names for her that makes her want to slap him; probably calls her Bae or whatever. Ash nicknames for Aiden: Idiot, stupid, dumbass, public safety hazard...called him "dear" like once just to try it and hated it. "Mr. Durable" if she wants to annoy him.

-worlds worst pick up lines. Ash NEVER understands them.

-he loves surprises! Surprise him! He wants to surprise Ash too! She kinda hates this. They decided to "compromise": he will tell her beforehand that there is a "surprise" and gives her little clues/puzzles so she can figure out whatever it is. He has like 0 patience tho so he always helps her figure them out 🤡 Ash likes watching him get excited about the puzzles and doing them together more than the surprise half of the time.

-Him infodumping is like white noise so she can sleep lol.

-they try to do things the other likes since Ash thinks this is important for a "healthy relationship". Almost died when they went to an indoor rock climbing place 💀 but she got to see Aiden in a leotard when they did ballet together so it was a fair trade (blackmail)

-he is her hypeman at ballet recitals, will probably cheer when she comes on stage and has a sign and everything, the rest of the gang (and Ash) is just like "...we don't know this guy"

-she wishes he took care of himself more. Sends him stuff like "did you drink any water today", "Ben told me you're gonna skateboard down the hill please dont", or "IF YOU SET YOUR BOOKS ON FIRE IM GONNA CALL THE POLICE" <3

-sometimes if she's sad she just kinda. Falls on his back. Like a koala or smth. She has that "I literally cannot do anything" sort of depression (which to be fair Aiden also has sometimes). Aiden carries her around.

-when nobody's looking she kisses his cheek, cuz she knows his face is usually sore from smiling so much.

-pretty low key on her part, but Aiden is so obvious everybody knows 💀 She doesn't like PDA (more so the fact that people stare) but Aiden will usually put his arm around her shoulders or waist/give her a smooch (not on the mouth) <3 it's honestly not that different from how he was when they were just friends ngl 🤡

-he says "I love you" easily, because it genuinely is the easiest thing in the world for him. He has 0 doubts about how he feels for her. Ash doesn't say it a lot cuz she feels weird saying it, so she does her best to show it in other ways.

-he gets jealous easily *siiiiigh* It's cuz he's insecure!!! Help him! 😭 He doesn't get annoyed with her because like. Ash pays about as much attention to other guys (I mean besides Tyler, Ben and Logan) as she does to dust. But he will death glare at any guy they don't know that's staring at her 💀

-kinda codependent... *looks at the floor* they are working on it. Sometimes Aiden feels like he's only alive for her. (I- Look at episode 61- IVE BEEN IN HIS POSITION. AIDEN BABY THIS AINT HEALTHY)

-absolute dork. Draws "A.C. + A.B." in a little heart in his note margins because he's goofy like that.

-he fell first she fell harder NO I will not be taking any criticism for this.

Anyways it's raining outside so I'll just post this now

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey Raven! 👋🏻 I just went through your #my art, and i wanted to tell you that i really really really like your artworks of Miss Raven and Co. You truly put a lot of effort into your artwork, and it shows! With each new drawing, you seem to be getting better! ✏️💕

As i mentioned earlier, i really liked your Miss Raven drawings! they're so cute! especially when you drew Miss Raven in alternative clothing. I also like how much detail you put in your designs for Miss Raven, like the ones for the Fairy Gala or Masquerade Ball are so beautiful 🥺 and still fit her character!

The one you did with her wearing different dorm uniforms from each dorm was such a cool idea! it was interesting to see how she may have appeared if Miss Raven was transferred to said dorms! call me biased, but i liked the octavinelle design the most 😂 but poor Miss Raven. If she had to work part-time in Mostro lounge, she'll have to avoid two predatory Eels 😭 One wants to tease her while the other either wants to squeeze her or dump all his work on her cuz he isn't feeling it today, then there's Azul who takes advantaged of the fact that Miss Raven is close to headmaster Crowley and makes profit 📈 Run Miss Raven Run!!!

Anyway, I think i'm going to steal her away and fight off a certain dangerous and manipulate Eel, a Skilful Hunter, a Lazy Lion, and a dude with the power of christ (idk is Rollo x Raven even a thing?!).

I always look forward to seeing a new artwork of yours truly~

[Referencing this tag!]

Wehhh 😭 I’m glad you find enjoyment in my silly little doodles! Art is definitely an area I’m less comfortable with, but I do like dabbling in it when the mood strikes.

There’s something therapeutic in designing a new look for your OC! You take the time to consider their individual style, the overall theme, and how you can marry the two to create a cute outfit~ I’m really happy with how Raven’s Fairy Gala Couture came out; it’s definitely one of my favorite looks for her. The Masquerade outfit was also fun for me to assemble, but it seems a lot less cohesive in hindsight (probably because I didn’t line + color it, so it’s harder to distinguish individual elements??).

The NRC dorm uniforms (+ the sequel with RSA and NBC uniforms) was another cool project! I think my favorites from those are the Heartslabyul look (just because I’m a sucker for the Alice in Wonderland aesthetic + Raven is twisted from the raven in its infamous riddle), the Diasomnia look (it gives “fairy tale princess turned knight” energy), and the Noble Bell look (because the extra fabric is nice and flowy). You can see how the environment and the personality of each school/dorm influences her, right? ^^ It’s also interesting to think about how differently Raven might have turned out if each of these places had more of an influence on her life.

Bruh 💀 I think she’d die if she worked at the Mostro Lounge, dealing with customers and shady coworkers and employer… though that’s not to say that any of the other dorms would necessarily be better! Miss Raven would have gripes with or rivals in each of them somehow. It’s the Night Raven College way, I guess??

One of these things is not like the other… Looking back on it, 3 out of 4 of those are basically predatory-prey dynamics there there’s a type developing and I don’t know if I like it/j 😂 I’d say Jade’s the “main” love interest, while Rook’s the “oh, he’s cute” one… L*ona kind of started as a crack ship but now I think it’s more of a one-sided thing?? Like, Miss Raven still sees L*ona as sort of a rival, whereas he’s grown a little fond of her but knows he can’t do much to sway her… It’s the eternally “second place” syndrome… 😔

Rollo has the most complex relationship with her (sure, call it a ship if you want 😂), built primarily on a strange savior complex. He did some heinous stuff and dislikes her because she’s very pro-magic—but I think there’s a part of him that feels like she’s a lost lamb that’s been led astray by Draconia and therefore he needs to “save” and “correct” her. Problem is, he’s bad at Emotions so his anger gets redirected at Miss Raven herself. Meanwhile, Miss Raven realizes the similarities between herself and Rollo, so she wants to be a friend to him. She sort of forces him to be her pen pal (thinking that writing down how he feels will help him cope with what happened). So weirdly enough, Raven wants to “save” Rollo and Rollo wants to “save” Raven (but both suck at communicating well).

Who knows, we’ll see how things play out from here Nd when the whim to draw strikes next 📝

[indecisive-v]

so like since i just got into milgram i wanna mention a thing

it's probably known by now (cmon it's been years) that milgram is named after the milgram social psychology experiment, right?

but milgram the music project reminds me more of a different psychology experiment, one which- like the milgram experiment- was deemed unethical

now, it's been a while since i learned about these things, but let me try to give you a rundown of the stanford prison experiment. you can probably already tell why i was reminded of it just from the word "prison"

this was an experiment on several volunteers in which they were randomly assigned the role of guard or prisoner and given uniforms to match their roles. the "guards" had to prevent the prisoners from escaping a mock prison. their treatment of the prisoners, however, became way, WAY worse as days went on- so much so that concerns were raised when someone found out and the experiment was stopped within six days, when the intended timespan was two weeks. it has been deemed pretty much invalid and caused ethics standards for experiments to be raised.

es' treatment of the milgram prisoners in the voice dramas- the way they talk down to them, their willingness to hit them- combined with the fact that this whole thing is named after a psychology experiment made me think of the stanford prison and how brutal the subjects playing guard were. es still has better standards though, especially if mahiru's second voice drama has anything to say about it.

on top of that, there's also the kotoko situation that happened after she was voted innocent in trial 1, what with her choosing to beat up the prisoners we deemed guilty- which makes me draw the parallels even harder since we unknowingly gave her the go-ahead, like the guy who ran the stanford experiment did to the guard volunteers. neither of us thought it would get this bad (though considering kotoko's crime, maybe we... should've thought that 💀)

i'm not really getting at anything in particular here, i just wanted to note a thing i thought about

i also briefly thought "how much of es' behavior could be chalked up to them just being a teenager" because i was pretty snappy too when i was 15 (though not to the point of. hitting people.)- that being said i was in the middle of a fuckin pandemic when i was 15, and es' only human contact in milgram seems to have just been dealing with the prisoners, so maybe it's also the lack of Normal human contact that fucked us up lmao. still it's pretty interesting how easily they accepted and even leaned into their role as the prison guard

mind you though, i wrote all this after 10 pm and you can only trust one's brain so much after 10 pm lmao

[nationmckinleyscorset]

Completing thisss

Nah fr I'd be so mad if I was giving a presentation and someone was humming

"Love?" Fucking hippie

"A reckless lunatic sits in the whitehouse" never have truer words been spoken

Oop fugative Jimmy

"I love you even if you do have pudgy fingers" 💀

Don't trust the brownie my boy

Idiot

What is happening

This song is me when my mental health gets bad 💀 brownies hit different when you're sad

He's fucking a brownie? I- what?

Mae is so protective of Jimmy I love it

At least he finally got the ring off

Why is Jimmy humping Sally's leg like a bulldog?

Mary lane's smile has too many teeth imo, i feel like she'd bite me and not in a good way 😂

Oh my god he's like a dog he's going for everything pillars, furniture... Mary come collect your animal

I can actually see Mary being infatuated with Paris

Her eyes are killing me

Mary really I'd like the Janet of Reeder madness, I know I've already said it but it's true

The website I'm watching on keeps freezing and annoying me lol

"You'll forget the word no" I'm not too sure I like the way this is going

I wish I could say I wasn't expecting it but I keep comparing it to rocky horror so it only makes sense that she'd have a dramatic transformation in which she switches from pink to black and red

Love the fact we have the same nails rn XD

What in the 50 shades

"Whips, nip clips and candle wax" ON HER FIRST TIME?

I'm laughing so hard rn and I probably shouldn't be

She's such a top 😂

Tbf... it was one or the other. One of them was gonna get assaulted and I'd rather it was a guy with bad intentions than Mary sooo (Not justifying this)

"Shut up bitch 👊🏻" damnnn ok

That looks low-key painful

Get schooled Kochinski

NOT THE TONGUE

Ok wait im thinking hear me out. So Mary and Sally look alike, some kid who looks like Jimmy just showed up to the house, it's like a cycle: 2 kids get corrupted and become like Sally and the other guy who's name I can't remember and they keep bringing in kids similar to their younger selves. I honestly am probably just slow and that's probably obvious.

Who got shot?!?!?! OH MY GOD NO! NO NO NO!

Smelling salts aren't gonna help her you idiot she's dead

Oh I'm dumb lol

Yeah forget my theory she can't continue the cycle if she's DECEASED

irrelevant but Mae's got a murderess robe 💀I already know how this ends so I find that hilarious

A deathbed proposal? Aww lol

"We're happy, young and... hemorrahging blood 😁"

No honey romeo and juliet die know👏🏻your👏🏻shakespeare👏🏻

That's so sad though omg

That's a lot of blood jeeez

If they let Jimmy go doen for this imma throw hands

Mae please

If she doesnt tell the truth-

LMAO he said Mae please too 😂

STOP

OMG I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING NICE I SAID ABOUT HER

well, not everything but DAMN

DEATH ROW?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!

"IM... FINE... perfectly in control" relatable

Ralph being haunted by Jimmy is the funniest thing I've seen in a while

And now Mary is dancing with the devil WTFFFFF

Is she dressed as a maid?

This entire movie is such a trip but I think that's the whole idea 😂

Just realised their entire garden is growing weed 💀 reminds me of my dad's friends house 😊🤣

His dark circles are more prominent than Riff Raff's

Zombie flash mob timeee

If Sally dies I'll be so pissed

STOP

HE DID NOT

OMG I'm gonna throw up wtf

Mae screaming is literally me rn

Why have so many of the movies I've seen this week involved somebody getting parts of them getting bitten off

BROSKI WONT DIE

#justiceforsally

Sally was my second favourite character thoughhhhh

"Now I know that once you see you can't unsee" - Carrie The Musical

OMG HES STILL ALIVE THIS BITCH I SWEAR-

Oh to walk like mae XD

OMG what in the repo the genetic opera

Skewered like blind mag no disrespect to my girl or anything

Finally he's dead

OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING I low key wanna draw that now - Sally's body emerging from the garden

Satan's really just chilling with them all 😂

So are there more bodies in the garden? Cos there's more dead people than the number we've seen killed in the movie

The voices in my head when I'm trying to pay attention to someone giving me directions: (/j)

Jack had better die

OMG everybody shut up Mae's about to sing

TAKE. YOUR. HANDS. OFF. HER. TITS.

I hate that she's trying to be empowered but Jack's just stood there smacking her up

IT WASNT LOADED YES

Omg slayyy Mae

Definitely gotta cosplay her

Yes baby beat his ass 😂

Knowing how this ends is making this concerning cos like I know it gets so graphic

Jaw on the floor (just like Jack's body)

All the people walking out after that presentation traumatised 🤣

Stop omg that's way too coincidental

Just putting on lipstick like she's not covered in blood

She hit te floor (She hit the floor!) shawty got low low low low low low low (sorry it had to be done)

Does anybody survive this movie?

I hate that this is the norm for most movies I watch now

Is Jimmy gonna live? WAIT

Jimmys last words: "um..."

YAY!

Oml get him out the chair and cut the small talk 💀

Not the last minute Annie references 😂

Why is nobody questioning the fact that Mae is drenched in Jack's blood?

You choose: Paddington 2, Chicago, or Reefer Madness - who had the best prison musical number?

What am I watching?

The best American propaganda I've ever seen 🤣😭

Is Sally the same actress as Lady Liberty?

Cutting down the weed factory? Now it's definitely like my dad's friends house IM KIDDING JEEZ

did Satan just die? How? What?

And Mary went to heaven XD

"One day I'll get cancer or hit by a train!!! 😁😊😍"

Wtf was that ending oh my god (referring to the heaven scene)

I'd die laughing if the fire at the pep rally was the burning weed (Is it a pep rally? I'm British idk)

Final thoughts

Would i watch it again? Absolutely

Recommend it to a friend? Definitely

Favourite character? Mae

Was the music good? It was amazing 😂

@little-whats-her-name thank you so much for drawing my attention to this

Best of a hilarious play-by-play of people watching Reefer Madness for the first time that I found on the liveblog

[recurring-polynya]

For Rukia's bday another prompt/request. Ik i have been sending quite a few.

As you said you could think about continuation of some of the AUs. I just wanted to ask if its possible to continue my prev request of "Dear Wormwood". Like how Renji here decided to save her from execution or how did they reconcile?

I don't mind if you show another oneshot of the Tattoo AU☺️🤭. Like how both get together and all.

Happy New years Eve 🥳

You know, I got a request for a continuation of the Tattoo Artist AU in August, when I was doing Renji requests, and I wanted to do it, except that I had the next bit planned out in my head, and Renji wasn’t actually in it. But Rukia is.

| ao3 | ff.net |

 💻     💀 🛹     🥗

“In conclusion,” Rukia announced, flipping to the last slide of her PowerPoint deck, “I have no idea which design to pick.”

The final slide featured her own personal re-draws of the three tattoo concepts her tattoo artist had presented her with when she had met with him the previous weekend. Obviously, his renditions of grim reapers-on-skateboards were much better than hers, because he drew skeletons on people professionally, and Rukia oversaw market risk mitigation for a large financial services firm. A little thrill still went through Rukia’s nerves every time she thought of Renji Abarai as her tattoo artist. She had followed him on Instagram for years before getting up the nerve to book an appointment with him. Rukia kept telling herself that the giddiness she was feeling was due to the fact that she was finally doing it-- she was getting that tattoo she had wanted since college put on her actual body by an artist whose work she loved. The fact that the artist in question had turned out to be extremely nice and friendly and also impossibly hot was just a bonus.

Orihime pressed her fingers to her lips. “Hmm,” she hmmed. “I like the one with the sunglasses.”

“I can’t believe you made a PowerPoint,” Ichigo declared, stuffing a kale chip in his mouth. “I can’t believe you brought your laptop to the Lettuce Feed You. Also, I feel like the sunglasses raise more questions than they answer. Why would a grim reaper wear sunglasses? They don’t even have eyes.”

“To look cool,” Rukia said at the same time Orihime replied “Maybe they’re prescription?”

Ichigo shook his head. “Well, my opinion is, do not get the one where the grim reaper is flipping the bird. Byakuya is gonna be pissed no matter which one you pick, but that one is gonna get you a very specific lecture.”

“Yeah, I’d already sort of eliminated that one,” Rukia admitted glumly. She screwed up her face. “And Byakuya’s opinions don’t matter. That is the whole point.”

“I think you’re having a hard time because you like them all,” Orihime chirped with her trademark optimism. “Which means that you’ll probably be happy with whichever one you pick!”

“Do you think it would be weird,” Rukia said slowly, “if I emailed Renji back and asked which one he liked best?”

“Renji’s the tattoo guy?” Ichigo asked.

Orihime chewed her salad. “He’ll just tell you that you’re the client, it’s up to you. I can tell you which one he likes best, though. When you’re drawing samples, you always try to draw the first one as close to what you think the customer wants as possible. The second one is where you draw what you, the artist, think is best. Then, on the third one, you go a little wild, just in case you hit on something cool.”

“Oh!” Rukia replied. “Thanks for the insider knowledge.”

Orihime tapped her chin with one finger. “Also, Renji loves sunglasses, he has, like, fifty pairs of them and he had an entire sketchbook full of skeletons wearing sunglasses. I’m not exactly sure he should get an opinion here, to be honest. You’re the one paying him.”

“Well, I really like his art,” Rukia excused. “He’s… you know… the expert.”

Ichigo scratched his nose and squinted at Orihime. “This was the goth guy from your watercolors class, right? Who always drew sad anime girls in the rain and gave you a poem once?”

“No, no, you’re thinking of Ulquiorra!” Orihime wagged a finger. “Oh, jeez, Ichigo, like I would let that guy give Rukia a tattoo! No, Renji! You met Renji!”

“I did?”

“Yes! You remember the time I tripped on the stairs and twisted my ankle? He was the one who waited with me until you could pick me up and take me to the Urgent Care.”

Ichigo had been taking a sip of his kombucha and he had to swallow hard so that he didn’t spit it out across the table. “The guy who showed you pictures of his bearded dragon on his phone to cheer you up? The guy with The Hair? And the tattoos? Oh, I guess that would make sense, huh?”

“Yeah, that was him!”

Rukia felt her cheeks going pink, not just because she’d started thinking about Renji’s very good hair. She’d known that Orihime and Renji had been in the same MFA program, but she hadn’t expected Ichigo to know him; he and Orihime hadn’t actually started dating until her last year. There were many things Rukia liked about being best friends with Ichigo. She liked being co-workers and going to lunch all the time, and she liked that they had the same weird sense of humor, and most of the time, she liked having nearly identical taste in Hot People. Now was not one of those times.

Ichigo shook his head frantically. “I was confused! I did not realize we were talking about Super Hot Bearded Dragon guy!”

“He has a bearded dragon?” Rukia said blankly. He loved animals? Was it possible for the man to get any more adorable?

“It’s name is Zabimaru, and it’s super cute. I bet Renji would show you a picture if you asked,” Orihime nodded.

“You are glossing over the fact that this dude is a certified smokeshow,” Ichigo butted back in.

“I just don’t see what that has to do with anything!” Rukia huffed. “I didn’t know what he looked like before I made the appointment. He is a very talented artist.”

“And now you’ve seen him and you’re looking for excuses to email him.” Ichigo leaned forward, putting his elbows on the table and narrowly avoiding getting hummus on his jacket. “What I find suspicious is that you completely failed to mention his hotness. You had a slide with excerpts from his portfolio and assorted Yelp reviews, and yet nothing, not a single bullet point about how he is over six feet tall and has supermodel hair?”

“Your girlfriend is sitting right there.”

“She knows she has this locked down,” Ichigo replied, gesturing to himself. Orihime nodded cheerfully. Ichigo picked up a carrot stick and twirled it in his hummus dramatically. “You know what I think? I think there was--” he bit into the carrot dramatically, “chemistry.”

Orihime gave a delighted little gasp.

Rukia blew out her cheeks full of air. She made shrug arms. She blew the air out again. “Maybe there was. I don’t know. You know me. I’m not really into dating.”

“I do know you!” Ichigo exclaimed. “I know you work twelve-hour days and once a year, you go on an awful date with some hedge fund twerp you met through your brother. I honestly think it would be really good for you to go out with someone who can name a band!”

Rukia waved her hand dismissively. “I know I work too hard and I haven’t really been good at relationships since college, but that’s why I’m getting a tattoo! I’m doing a thing for me!”

“Yeah, a thing you can make an Outlook reminder for and list on your yearly personal accomplishment retrospective,” Ichigo pointed out. “I mean, I’m all for the tattoo! I’m just thinking it wouldn’t hurt to go for the tattoo guy, too!”

“You know…” Orihime added. “Renji really is awfully nice. I don’t think it would hurt to ask him out for a coffee.”

Oh, no. It was very easy to dismiss Ichigo’s advice, even when Rukia knew he was correct. Orihime was another story.

“Didn’t you tell me he drove a motorcycle?” Ichigo asked Orihime, in the tone of voice of someone who already knows the answer to what he is asking.

“He does, actually!” Orihime piped up. “That’s why he couldn’t take me to the Urgent Care himself.”

Rukia scrunched up her face. Dammit, she loved a motorcycle. “Look, he’s a professional! I’m paying him to do a service! It would be really rude to ask him out.”

Ichigo and Orihime turned matching skeptical expressions on her.

“Also…he’s way too cool for me,” Rukia muttered.

“Aw, come on!” Ichigo protested.

“Rukia, you are so pretty and smart!” Orihime added, waving her fork for emphasis. “You have an amazing job and you’ve traveled all over and you met Lorde once.”

“We were just in an elevator together! That could have happened to anyone!”

“Also, you drive a car that people put on their phone lockscreens,” Ichigo added.

Rukia rested her cheek on the heel of her hand. “Yeah, but Renji is counter-culture cool. He’s covered in tatts, and he was wearing a Dinosaur Jr. t-shirt, and he’s really involved in his neighborhood and he draws skeletons on people for a living. I’m just…rich.”

“What the hell is Dinosaur Jr?” Ichigo wondered.

“He’s an artist, Rukia,” Orihime pointed out. “People always think artists are cool, but we’re not. We’re just weird and awkward.”

Rukia sighed. “To be honest, I tried to flirt with him a little and…he didn’t seem interested.”

“He probably just didn’t notice,” Orihime said. Her eyes darted over to Ichigo, and she lowered her voice as though this would somehow make him not hear her. “Artists are also kinda oblivious. Don’t you remember when you had to tell me that Ichigo had a crush on me?”

“And I am good at flirting,” Ichigo put in, unoffended by any of this. He jabbed a finger at Rukia. “You are bad at flirting. Very bad.”

“Shut up!” Rukia howled.

“You shut up, you’re gonna get us kicked out, and then where are we going to go for Vegan Wednesdays?”

“Where, indeed?” sighed Rukia, who only celebrated Vegan Wednesday because she loved Orihime very, very much, and would rather enjoy being banned from the Lettuce Feed You. “Look, I am just trying to pick a tattoo, here. I know you mean well, but I don’t have time for a boyfriend and even if I did, he’s not exactly the kind of guy I can bring home to meet Grandfather, you know?”

Ichigo shook his head. “Rukia, you can sniff out a weak balance sheet from a thousand paces, but you can’t recognize an actual opportunity when it’s staring you in the face. You didn’t even ask Lorde if she wanted to get onion rings.”

“Lorde loves onion rings and you are adorable,” Orihime nodded solemnly. “She would have said yes.”

“Will you drop the Lorde thing already? It was two years ago and I had a meeting to go to!”

“There’s always a meeting! That’s exactly our point! Look, you’re closing up the Los Noches audit next week, right?”

“Yeah? So?”

“So I really think you should take a little time off! And by time off, I mean, work eight-hour days for a few weeks, like a human. You could catch up on your kdramas and cook yourself a meal and maybe-- just maybe-- you could ask a guy out? I’m not saying you gotta subject him to the Kuchiki Gauntlet of Approval, just buy the guy a beer and ask him if he wants to make out. I tell you, it will restore your soul.”

Rukia sucked her teeth. It was no joke that she had been working herself pretty hard lately. In fact, Brother, (Brother! of all people!) had also suggested she might be due for a little break.

“I think it’s a really good idea, Rukia!” Orihime added. “And if Renji says no, I promise, I will plan a bunch of fun stuff that we can do together! We can get mani-pedis or… or go to the trampoline park!”

“You do have to ask him, though,” Ichigo insisted. “Don’t be vague or beat around the bush. Say ‘I think you’re neat and I would like to go on a date with you.’ Just pretend he’s a CEO and you’re telling him to sell off an underperforming asset.” Ichigo glanced over and shot an incredibly soft look at Orihime. “It's embarrassing for about six seconds, but I promise you it’s worth it.”

Rukia absolutely hated it when Ichigo was right, but who was she to argue, when he was dating the most objectively perfect person in the universe? “Okay,” she huffed. “I will ask him out after he has completed my tattoo and our business relationship has come to a satisfactory conclusion. But if he shoots me down, Ichigo, you have to buy me no less than three pints of good ice cream and you both have to come over and sob-watch Mystic Pop-Up Bar with me again.”

“Deal,” Ichigo and Orihime said in unison.