#like she could be sleeping in but she intentionally wakes herself up just to ask me that then goes back to bed then gets up again when I

[pick-me-up-im-scared]

Can't Sleep (Ellie Williams x Reader) (Smut)

Short Summary: Ellie has been struggling to fall asleep due to her past trauma. But you might have just found something that could work! Without even being contious.

⚠️Warning!⚠️: This story contains smut that includes somnophilia. Also includes a small mention of past trauma/ptsd

Words: 1379

(Credit to however the pictures belongs to, they’re not mine! I just found them on Pinterest like everyone on this fucking app does)

Ellie sighed as she looked up at the ceiling. Another night ruined. She truly didn’t understand why she kept trying when 99,9% of the nights would end up with her waking up at around 3 am and not be able to go back to sleep. Being used to this she would usually look around the dark room for about 15 minutes before getting up and spend the rest of the night watching some useless tv show while scolding herself for not being able to sleep this night either. Either you would wake up, glancing to your side and notice the bed being empty and thereafter walk down the squeaky stairs to see your girlfriend hunched down on the sofa. Or sometimes you didn’t even notice until your alarm went off, signaling you to wake up and get ready for work. Yeah, those days definitely left you feeling guilty……. You really felt bad for her, you do! If you could somehow give her your sleepiness, if just for a day every once in a while, you would 100% do it. Without a doubt! But unfortunately you can’t, which leaves you with only one option, supporting her as best as you can. You’ve went to the doctor, therapist, anyone who could potentially help her with her trauma, but to no use. The sleeping pills she got prescribed only left her feeling more sleepy, yet her mind wouldn’t let her sleep. At least not for more than an hour or so.

Ellie sifted her glance from the wooden ceiling to the sleeping figure beside her. You were currently facing her, allowing her to take in your beauty. Fuck, she had no idea how she got so lucky. If you asked Ellie she would DEFINITELY say you’re out of her league, but you assure her she’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of (and more). Her eyes trace over your peaceful face, your eyebrows slightly frowning, most likely due to a dream, your lashes lightly touching your under eyes, and your cute lips slightly pouting. Holy fuck she wanted to kiss you so badly. Her eyes continued down your neck, onto your décolletage that’s being highlighted by the moonlight before they stop at your…..chest. Being the summer time you always wore a spaghetti strapped crop top to bed, along with whatever underwear you used the day before. But the nights sure could be a little chilly.

One of your straps had fallen off your shoulder, allowing more of your boob to show then intentionally. Ellie tried not to look, but failed miserably. Knowing just how soft they feel in her hands she had to physically restrain herself from reaching out and touch them. Ellie continued to eye your exposed breast while letting her imagination wander free, not being aware of just how excited it got her until she, by reflex, pressed her thighs together and notice a wet patch. “Fuck” Ellie mumbled as the embarrassment came over her. She can’t get this fucking wet just from staring at your clothed boob! That’s the keyword “clothed”. Ellie bit her lip as she hesitated on “helping” the fallen strap to “accidentally” fall even lower down. Resulting in your boob hanging out free. Ellie let out a shaky breath when your harden nipple was bare for her eyes to see. Yep, definitely chilly.....

Even though this was far from the first time she's seen your naked breasts (living together for over four years leads to a lot of topless moments, sexual or not) she couldn't help but feel giggly like a school boy when she did. Her eyes took a quick glance at your face to make sure if she disturbed your sleep by her "action". But you continued to let out the peaceful breath that sometimes helped her succeed in falling asleep (if only for an hour). Taking in your unbothered expression Ellie got the courage to make her next move. She reached out her tatted arm and carefully placed her veiny hand on your exposed breast. She had to bite her lip to not moan at the contact with your smooth skin. But she soon drew it back, quickly, when you started to move. Her cold fingers had shocked you, and even though you're still in sleep, you let out a groan and rolled onto your back. But in your change of position your top had slid down even lower, resulting in both your boobs being free from the fabric.

Ellie´s eyes widened as she eyed not one, but both of your tits. She couldn't help herself. Shortly after she lowered herself and gave your right nipple a feather-light kiss. She groaned before going in harder. Her mind wouldn't let her think straight, too high on the taste of your skin. She continued to suck on your right nippled as she fundled with the other. The feeling was unreal. Without noticing it Ellie started to grind herself against your mattress, her body trying to find a way to release the pleasure she’s feeling. But it wouldn’t work. Ellie let out a frustrated whine at the lack of friction she got, nothing for her poor throbbing clit to attach to. She let go off your nipple, involuntarily, to solve her own “problem”. She lifted up your shared cover to see your bare legs. Ellie carefully lifted her own leg to strangled your nearest thigh. Just the pressure on her sensitive when she lowered herself onto you was enough to draw a moan. But she pulled her sleeping shorts to the side, exposing her wet pussy, before making sure to properly situate herself. Without losing a second she began to grind herself against your soft leg. The firmness she was looking for was found, and she had a hard time shutting up.

Even though she knew she couldn’t be so loud or she’ll wake you up her brain also didn’t want to focus on that. Just the pleasure. A few shaky breaths were leaking out as Ellie rested her head against your shoulder. Her juices soon covered more of your thigh than she thought. For a few seconds she felt embarrassed, paranoid you’d wake up to find her like this. Desperately humping your thigh like a dog. But that thought seem to have vanished from her head when she grabbed both your hips with her long slander fingers, holding on hard as she continued to grind her cunt hard and faster. “Fuuuuuck” Ellie pathetically whined “please, (y/n)………please fuck me”. Ellie grabbed one of your hands and brought it up to her mouth. She stuck out your index and middle finger before putting them in her mouth. Sucking and licking them like her life depended on it.

At one point Ellie couldn’t care enough to even try and keep quiet. She didn’t care if you woke up. In fact, she wanted you to wake up. Cause if you did maybe you’d help her. Letting out a deep groan your fingers fell out of her mouth, covered by her saliva. But Ellie quickly took a firm grip around said hand’s wrist and traced it down her body. When met with the hem of her long sleeved sleeping shirt she made sure to lead your hand underneath it and continued up until your fingertips are met with her hard nipple. Just the feeling of your skin on hers was incredible. Ellie let out another satisfied moan before she puts her hand on top of yours, helping you to palm her perky little tit beneath her shirt. Ellie buried her slightly sweaty forehead into the side of your neck. She tried to keep her eyes open, wanting to watch every single bounce your tits would do due to her intense pace, but the pleasure makes it hard not to let her eyelids drop completely.

Ellie’s eyes soon filled up with tears at the delicious feeling, but also the frustration of not getting enough. You knew her like the back of your hand. Every weakness, everything she liked and didn’t like, you knew it. She needs to wake you up. Ellie made sure to swallow all the spit that was threatening to spill out onto your neck before whining into your ear

“Please help me, baby? I can’t sleep”.

____________________________________________

Author’s Note: I thought this would be A LOT shorter when I started to write it. I do really like making more blur-ish stories, but I clearly can’t do them. Cause I start off writing just the main act, but then I’m like “but wouldn’t it be cool if I added what the reader’s grandmother was like? And what her favorite subject in school was!😃😃”. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this anyways. Even though it’s longer than anticipated (that’s what she said).

[azzibuckets]

Paper Rings [Part 5/10 | Paige Bueckers]

paige bueckers x fem!reader

summary: the morning after

a/n: i love making people cry so some pretty angsty stuff up ahead 😁 forgive me for turning paige into a slight asshole

word count: 1.8k

masterlist w/ all parts

FLASHBACK: 1 YEAR AGO

The green LED light on Paige’s alarm clock blinked 3:07 AM. Paige had been up for the past two hours. Tossing and turning seemed like the right phrase, but she didn’t want to wake you, so all the turmoil stayed inside her head.

A burst of warmth ran through her body and flooded her senses whenever she looked at you. You were curled up against her side, lightly snoring. You looked so soft in the moonlight, and Paige wanted to take a photo of you like this and ingrain it inside her brain. But her mind’s been running non stop for the past 120 minutes, overcome with regret over what you two had just done.

Paige had always known of her tendencies. She wouldn’t call herself a player, because she never intentionally led girls on. She always made it clear to her one night stands what they were - a hookup, with no strings attached. But some girls never seemed to get it. Every so often there would be someone who got attached to Paige after just one night together and ended up leaving her apartment in tears, cursing her name. She hated when that happened, hated seeing them cry.

So she vowed to herself never to sleep with you. Not because she didn’t want you, because God knows how many sleepless nights she spent in this very bed, dreaming about the pink of your lips and the curve of your hips. But because she knew how complicated things would get. Your friendship was the one thing that had remained stable in Paige’s life the past few years. There mere thought of losing you made her heart pound and head throb.

So Paige had stayed strong. Never mind all those moments where her hands had lingered on your waist a little too long, or the fact that the wallpaper of her lock screen and home screen were both pictures with you, or the fact that you were the only person pinned on her messages app besides her family. She knew she couldn’t have you.

Paige brushed a strand of hair from your eyes, letting the pad of her thumb trail down your cheek. You stirred in your sleep, a smile drifting faintly across your lips, and shifted closer to her, burying your face in her abdomen. And in that moment, Paige realized two things.

#1. She was in love with you. Yeah, she’d always loved you as a friend. You were thoughtful and supportive, a best friend a person could ask for. But beyond that, you made her feel seen. To you, Paige wasn’t just a basketball player or a pretty face. You had broken through her barriers and made the effort to know her on every level, and that was what Paige in love with you.

#2. She didn’t deserve you. Paige thought back to all those times she’d canceled on movie nights because somehow she’d ended up again at the bar with her teammates, flirting with pretty girls while the prettiest girl sat alone in her room. Or when she’d briefly dated Anna, who had apparently been cold to you for their entire relationship, always making snide comments when Paige wasn’t around. But you had saw how happy Paige was (but not as happy as she was whenever she was with you), and had kept silent, not wanting to ruin Paige’s relationship. And even though Paige had broken up with Anna as soon as she’d found out about her behavior, she couldn’t quiet the voices in her head blaming her for letting someone treat you like that. You were the best person in the world, Paige thought. And you deserve someone who can give you all of that. Not me.

So after having come to those two conclusions, Paige knew what she had to do.

——————————-

You woke up in a daze. Checking your phone, you realized it was only 8 AM. Tired, you slumped back into the pilllow. The events of last night only came back to you when you moved the sheets of Paige’s bed and saw your bra.

You couldn’t help but smile as memories of fisted sheets, shaking legs, and hands intertwined in each other’s hairs came flooding back. You pressed your fingers to your lips, the lips that Paige had kissed over and over again just hours before. You and Paige had slept together, and everything had felt so right. And god, that was the best head you’d ever gotten.

Getting up, you heard clattering in the kitchen and footsteps outside. Assuming it was Paige, you didn’t bother to cover up when the door swung open, but your mouth fell open when you came face to face with Azzi.

“Oh my god!” Azzi shrieked. Both of you stared at each other for a second before you grabbed the comforter off Paige’s bed to cover your body. “Get out, get out, get out!” you yelled.

Azzi slammed the door. Heart beating fast, you rushed to find your clothes. “Did I just see what I thought I saw?” Azzi yelled from the other side of the door.

“Azzi Fudd, I will smack you,” you yelled back as you started to pull on your jeans.

“Did you and Paige sleep together?” She screamed. “Oh my god, she’ll kill me if she finds out I walked in on you like this.”

You fiddled with the buttons on your jeans. “That’s why we’re gonna keep this a secret. You’re not gonna tell anyone we slept together.”

“What?! But now Aaliyah and Nika owe me twenty dollars,” she complained.

You tugged on your shirt. “I’m gonna pretend that you didn’t just tell me that three of our closest friends made a bet on us sleeping together.” You opened the door and glared at a sheepish Azzi. “Now where the hell is Paige?”

“I dunno. I heard her leaving an hour ago. I thought I was home alone. You scared the shit out of me,” Azzi side eyed your sex and bed hair, and you ran your hand through it, trying to make it look less messy. “So, how was it?” Azzi leaned towards you with a sly smirk on her face. “Was it good?”

“Oh my god, Azzi.” You pushed her out of the way and grabbed your purse from the couch. “I’m leaving. You better keep your mouth shut.”

“No promises!” Azzi called after you, cackling as you left the apartment.

—————————

5 DAYS LATER

“Open the fucking door, Bueckers.” You rapped on the door of Paige’s apartment, impatiently tapping your foot as you waited.

After you heard noises from inside but she still refused to open the door, you knocked even harder. “I know you’re in there, asshole. Azzi told me you’ve been in here the entire day.”

Finally the door swung open, and I laid eyes on Paige for the first time since we’d slept together 5 days ago. Her hair was in a messy low bun, and she was wearing her grey UConn sweatpants and a sports bra. You ignored the blush that rose from your neck from seeing her bare abdomen, all sculpted and taut, and instead glared at her.

“What the fuck, Paige? You haven’t responded to any of my texts and calls in the last week. Are you seriously ghosting me?” You pushed past her into the apartment.

Paige stared at you, still not saying anything. The last five days had been hell. You knew that sleeping with your best friend would change things. It would be awkward, and unsure, but you and Paige have always been able to figure everything out. So you didn’t expect for her to drop all communication with you, leaving you alone in bed the morning after and then ignoring all your attempts to talk to her after.

Paige smirked at you, but it wasn’t tantalizing and seductive like the last time you saw her. It was sharp, calculated, like she knew something that you didn’t. “Damn, I was that good, wasn’t I?”

“Paige, I need you to be serious right now.” Your voice was rising in pitch, your frustration showing. “We need to talk about us.”

Paige folded her arms, and she had never looked so distant. “What is there to talk about?”

You pushed her, not hard, but enough for her to stumble back. “Okay, so you fucked your best friend, and now you don’t even wanna talk about it?”

Paige swallowed, and she looked away. “We lost in the Final Four that night.”

“Yeah, so?” Your face was flushed red with anger, and you felt hot all over. “What’s that gotta do with anything?”

She turned back to look at you. Her face was impassive now, and you wondered at who this girl in front of you was. It seemed like you didn’t even know her, this version of Paige. “It was a tough game,” she said curtly. “I needed to blow off some steam, and you were there.”

I needed to blow off some steam, and you were there.

You physically recoiled. Those words resounded in your mind, ricocheting from every corner, repeating itself until you went numb. You tasted something bitter in your mouth, a confirmation of what you had been worrying yourself sick about 24/7 for the past several days. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

Paige regarded you coolly. “I’m starting to get the feeling that you thought that night was a declaration of love or something. I mean yeah, you weren’t bad for your first time, but it was just sex.”

A jumble of something terrible and bitter began brewing in your stomach. It was a mixture of anger, and horror, and shock and pain, threatening to spill over. You didn’t know whether you wanted to sob or throw up. That night you had basically admitted to Paige that you had wanted her for so long but…had you been so foolish to believe that she actually liked you back?

“You’re really nothing but a slut, huh,” you scoffed. You felt like a dagger was stabbing you, brutally piercing you in the heart as those words were spit from your mouth, but you were so angry, so furious, you couldn’t stop. “You don’t care about anything but getting laid. You’re so fucking shallow.”

For a moment, you thought you saw hurt flash through Paige’s eyes. But she quickly recovered, and her face turned stony again. “I’m not the one who was like a little fan girl, so desperate that you jumped on me as soon as I gave you the chance.” Her lip curled.

We, whatever we were, were over, and we both knew it. We were throwing out insults, maiming each other in an attempt to mollify our own hurt. We were drowning, and you knew it, god you knew it, your lungs felt on fire and you felt like you were losing everything in my life all at once. And you were too weak to stop it. Too cowardly to apologize, to take all your words back, to tell her you loved her so much, that you would be willing to stay friends and only friends and ignore the fact that you were heads over heels for her, just so she would stay in your life and you could go back to what you were before you made the most stupid decision of your lives.

But none of that came out. Instead, you said words that you didn’t mean.

“Don’t talk to me ever again, Bueckers. I fucking hate you.”

“Gladly.”

[cateyesinlove]

Threads of Black and Threads of Green

Jace Velaryon/ targaryen x Helaena Targaryen

TW: none

Masterlist

AO3

Chapter one; Dance of The Dragons I

Helaena’s mornings had begun the same way every day since her sister had taken her rightful place on the Iron throne. She would wake up, break her fast alone then visit her mother, spend her afternoon in the garden, reading or having tea with her sister until it was time for her supper. Now that she no longer was Queen she was allowed so many more things like sleeping longer, more freedom to have a say in matters regarding herself, and finally, she was able to take the reigns of her life, while Helaena had been Queen she had wilded no real power given that her mother made certain that everything was done how she wanted not how Helaena wished for it.

Helaena enjoyed doing things by herself, she had always enjoyed it, from brushing her hair to choosing her clothes. When she was younger she had been able to pick her dresses, after the crowning of Aegon, her mother instructed the maids to select Helaenas cloths, something regal that made her look the part of Queen she was to play. Helaena often felt like her mother was intentionally putting her in the dresses that would overwhelm her the most making her skin crawl, the feeling of needles prickling her, the sensation of hundreds of small ants running around her body, now just the thoughts of those dresses brought her to tears

The first time she had spent an afternoon with her sister after the coronation, the first time she had truly interacted with Rhaenyra since the retaking of Kingslanding since Helaena of course had not been allowed to attend the coronation for her safety, her sister had asked how Helaena was, how she felt and if there had been anything she could do for her. 

“Anything that I can do to help, sister?” the Queen had asked her one afternoon as they drank tea.  

“I wish for the maids to not touch me!.” she blurted out, part of her felt ashamed that she had spoken so bluntly to the Queen but Rhaenyra had just smiled at her and instructed every single person of Helaenas staff to not lay a finger on her sister if she did not desire it. Later that night as Helaena brushed her hair, she was reminiscing about how she hadn’t even thought for a second to ask about her mother and to plead for her.

She finished preparing for the day by herself and proceeded to break her fast while reading a book. Days in the Keep were slow but gentle to her. She would usually be left alone until she visited her mother in the cells, and some days after the visits, she would ask her sister for tea. 

She felt queasy and quickly rushed towards her chamber pot, vomiting everything she had eaten. Oh the joys of pregnancy, she thought bitterly, after feeling better she quickly proceeded to do her business in it to try and hide the vomit.

Once she was done she came back to her couch, placed a hand on her belly, and wondered what her sister would do if her child turned out to be a boy. Naturally, he would be an heir for Aegon that is if her husband still lived, worse some lord would rally behind her child to dethrone Rhaenyra and place him on the throne, however, if the baby was a girl, she would be another bargaining chip for the Greens to marry away in exchange for armies and alliances; Helaena feared for her babe, why could her children not been fathered by another man, a good man or the man she loved and longed for. Would Rhaenyra allow her babe to live? Helaena knew that it was a risk for Rhaenyras's position to let her child live but could she be capable of killing her or her child? 

Unable to move from the panic and overwhelming feelings she spent all day there, never moving from her seat ignoring as maids came and went, wondering, planning, and praying to whatever God would listen, asking for guidance on how to coax her sister to let her babe live when she had realized the sun was setting, she had skipped visiting her mother and by now it was too late to request an audience with her sister. 

The door opened unpromptedly later that afternoon, “Lady Helaena, Lady Mysaria is here to see you.” Ser Lyonel informed her as he allowed the woman to enter her room. 

A new development in her life was that most nobles had begun calling her Lady Helaena rather than Princess unless her sister was present. She had passed from Princess to only Lady Helaena. 

“Thank you Ser,” she thanked him and proceeded to stand up, Ser Lyonel bowed and retired to guard her door again. 

“No need, to stand up princess.” Mysaria informed her with a gentle smile, “Especially in your condition.” she said to her.

“My apologies Lady Mysaria, I am not certain I understand what you mean” she immediately replied, her hands began shaking so she held them tight making sure never to bring them near her belly, she clasped them together on her lap as she sat down, no longer being able to stay standing up.” I am feeling rather well.”

Mysaria made her way to her table and sat down, “No need to lie princess.” She informed Helaena. “I know everything and so does the Queen.” 

Helaena felt the ground be swept off under her as she grew weak. “Th- the Queen knows?” 

Mysaria nodded serving herself some tea her maids had brought earlier in case she got hungry and picking it up,” Of course, after you reached that conclusion, so did I and immediately informed her.” 

“Ho-how did you find out?” she asked, eyes full of tears. 

“The same way you did,” Mysaria answered after drinking from her cup. “No bleeding, the maids informed me of your morning sickness and your strange appetite.”

“What does my sister think of this?” she asked frightened. 

Mysaria sighed setting her cup down, “The queen has a gentle heart and feels for you, I feel for you Princess Helaena but that babe,” she pointed to Helaenas belly, “is Aegon’s baby and the babe will present nothing but a challenge to the Queen, you must know that Princess.” 

“ I know, I am aware but my sister must know the babe is innocent! ” She pleads hands cradling her womb, “Wh-what if I say the babe is a bastard? I can claim I had a lover in front of the entire court! I will do whatever is necessary for my baby, please lady Mysaria, please help me keep my baby!” she cries, running to sit down at the table reaching for the woman's hand desperate for an answer.

Mysaria settles her left hand on top of Helaena’s, “The Queen and I will do what we can Princess but I can't promise you everything will be fine, this are dark times and I will not put the Queen's reign in jeopardy,” She says to Helena, thumb caressing her hand.

“I understand,” Helaena answered as tears ran down her face. 

“I will advise you Princess Helaena,” Lady Mysaria said while retracting her hands from Helaenas. “If you could betray Aegon by informing us of where he is, it would be in your best interest and maybe the small council could help you.” she offered the advice.

“Bu- but I do not know where Aegon went! I wasn't aware he had even planned to leave.” she pleads. 

“Then it would be in your best interest to find that information.” Mysaria tells her with a serious tone, almost a warning, “Talk to the one who would know,” 

Lady Mysaria had departed soon after her conversation with Helaena bidding her a good afternoon and retiring. 

After that Ser Lyonel informed her of the time, It was visit hours with her mother if she wished to see her.

Her mother, Lady Alicent Hightower. Rhaenyra had officially stripped her mother of her dowager Queen title, she was nothing more than a lady like her. 

She made her way down to the dungeons with Ser Lyonel behind her, following her of course not to protect her but to keep an eye on her. No one in this place ever cared for her, not when she was Queen, and less now that she was merely a Lady.

“Helaena! My dear!” Helaena could hear her mother before she saw her.

“Mother,” she answered as she approached the cell. She could see her mother through the small window with bars at the door of her cell. The first thing she saw was her mother's hands and then her face as she pressed herself as close as she could. 

“Oh thank the mother!” She praised grabbing Helaenas cheeks and caressing her face, “You are safe,” She sighed in relief. 

“I came to see you the day before,” Helanea reminded her. 

“Yes of course but every day I fear they will execute you for breathing the incorrect way,” she exclaims worried sick and tears gathering her eyes.

“Mother,” she sighs, uncomfortable with her mother's behavior, with her tears.

“What! Why are you acting like the only reason they aren't killing us is to prevent an uproar!” She yells angrily at Helaena and bangs the bars of the cell. 

She remembers now why she is only allowed to visit her mother in this cell, days ago her mother had gotten mad at Helaena and grabbed her through the bars of the cell, scratching her and accidentally banging Helaena against the cell. Her sister yelled at her mother and forbade her from seeing Helaena in a cell that allowed her to touch her. 

“You can not say things like that mother!” she says hardly panicking in the inside, she looks back at Sir Lyonel and the guards, they dont move nor look at them but she knows they heard her mother. 

“WHY? Because if precious rhaenyra would hear me say things like that she would what, KILL ME? She cant! I am the queen! I am the QUEEN MOTHER!” she screams in anguish, fury taking overtaking her, she drops onto her knees covering her face with her hands and then she cried like all the other times before. Helaena took a moment to observe her mother, she had on a grey tunic and her auburn hair was down, her curls going everywhere and her hands, her fingers were read and some of them bandaged after so much pinching and scratching around her nails, her one flaw she would call it. 

“We had everything, I had everything, I was a perfect queen and lady, I never meant for any of this to happened!” she sobbed. 

Helaena opted for leaving her mom, once her crying spells started it took her a couple hours to compose herself again, leaving without saying anything she felt the tears gathering in her own eyes. Helaena rarely felt resentment towards her mother, she tried not to but there occasions like this when she had no will powe to stop the morions and feeling rushing through her, how could her mother still act like the victim when she had deliberatelly put them in this position, seh had aegon and raised him since a child to be king, to steal Rhaenyras throne, then she married to him and made her have kids with him, she planned and scheamed and when things didnt go her way she gave up and now blames everyone else. 

As she made her way to her room quickly Ser Lyonel was fast behind her she dried the tears away from her eyes. How horrid it had turned, she had to deal with Lady Mysaria's cryptid advice to see her mother and deal with the insanity… No.. madness, the madness that emanates from her trapped in that cell where all she does is plead with the gods and relive memory after memory of her life. Every mistake. Every error and every painful moment.

“Lady Helaena!” Sir Lyonel called her but as Helaena turned to look at him she crashed with something, someone. 

King consort Daemon Targaryen, her uncle and her son's murderer. 

“Your grace!” Ser Lyonel exclaimed as he grabbed Helaena by the shoulders, parting her from him. Helaena shuddered at the touch and quickly shook herself from his grip, “My apologies Lady Helaena was careless with her footing.” He excuses her before bowing before Daemon. 

Helaena was no one's fool, she might have not been as sane as everyone else, plagued and marked by the things she had seen throughout her life but she was somewhat aware of how things worked, how the games were played, and what her uncle thought of her. 

Daemon smirked, looking down at Helaena. Through his eyes, she could feel his disdain and almost disgust. “ Of course, “ he mockingly says, “ I am sure Lady Helaena forgot she is in the ground rather than in the clouds, as always.” He snorts and keeps walking. Looking at him, she sees him dressed in dragon-riding attire, and she catches a smell. It fills her with dread, and she realizes what it is. 

He stank of death. The same smell that plagued her little boy that day.

———————————————————————-

Tag list ( open) :

@ella-error505

[blackwolfstabs]

HEYY! excuse-me 🥺 can you do some hcs (sfw/nsfw) of sam dating a girl like "golden retriever" "hyper energy" and "hooded child who doesn't stop in place" girlf ?

HEY! lol ok so you mean like hcs for sam x hyper gf and x chill/dark gf?? i think i can do that 😊 forgive me if they're not that good or if i interpreted your ask wrong - i'm not very good at this haha

p.s. i'm gonna use Hyper GF & Dark GF in place of names because idk if you wanted this to be an x reader thing or not :)

sam x hyper gf

SFW GIF is not mine

they're like the sun and the moon - Hyper GF is very much a morning person, always happy and intent on waking Sam up when she wants her to get up and will be utterly annoying to get her up. whereas Sam is a night person and takes her revenge when Hyper GF starts falling asleep. intentionally moving, scaring, or showing her random shit on her phone, just to keep her from falling asleep.

Sam is not a shopper, but will go with Hyper GF, especially because she likes to go to the mall and Sam knows just how many creepy-ass people target girls there.

Hyper GF loves to be held, especially when she gets her way into Sam's lap, and Sam is naturally warm - warmer than anyone would expect - so usually Hyper GF will end up falling asleep in her arms.

Sam doesn't wear jackets too often around Hyper GF, because Hyper GF is lowkey obsessed with her muscles. she likes to trace them through her shirt and even on her bare skin when wearing a tank top (or crop top for her abs), while being held or cuddling. but Hyper GF is a playful golden retriever so she may sneak a few soft tickles for her entertainment.

NSFW

Hyper GF typically leads but it switches when she gets too stimulated. Sam's much calmer when it comes to the intense stuff, so she keeps them both under control.

Sam growls when fighting back moans and that thrills the fuck out of Hyper GF, so she considers Sam the alpha to her omega like a dog hierarchy - in other words, Sam is dominate in sexual interaction.

they always take to soft/gentle sex, unless requested by one or the other. if unsure, Sam never fails to ask "is this okay?" before she tries something she hasn't before.

Sam always takes the lead in aftercare, making sure Hyper GF is okay and able to calm from arousal. usually, she will spend the time stroking Hyper GF's hair or holding her in bed, until she falls asleep before going to sleep herself.

sam x dark gf

SFW GIF is not mine

both are lowkey way too awkward for their own good, especially when they first started dating. however, their dark sense of humor cut that awkward phase short.

Dark GF makes Sam feel normal about being the daughter of a serial killer. she describes Sam as the "perfect breed" and says that's what makes her the perfect girlfriend. it makes Sam feel that even when she experiences the dark spells of her inherited killer's instinct, she is still accepted without being biasedly known as Tara, Chad, and Mindy know her.

Dark GF is very protective with a hint of possessiveness when it comes to Sam. she gets along with Tara very well because of this.

they don't really cuddle, except when one or the other is sick, nor do they put their relationship on display. Sam is more into doing subtle things, like holding the door, forehead or on-the-cheek kisses, and sweet names like "my love." Dark GF likes to hold Sam's hand, like she'd do it 24/7, if she could. any chance she gets, she takes it upon herself to grab Sam's hand and just hold it, especially under the table.

NSFW

Dark GF is primarily dominant and is best at bringing out Sam's hard-to-believe submissive side. she likes to tease Sam before officially getting into it, not missing to emphasize "you're cute when you're needy," just to fluster her more.

Sam's not afraid to play it rough with Dark GF. in fact, she rarely ever gives warnings. she knows when too much is too much, but she's very testy with Dark GF.

Dark GF will refer to Sam as "Loomis" when things get too far (if you know what i mean). however, it's also an indication that she wants more.

when they make out, they'll do it anywhere in private. it doesn't have to just be in the bedroom. but if they get caught, they'll be redder than the blood they seem to bond over.

hope this suffices, anon! this was so much harder than i thought, it lowkey took me hours haha. like i said, i'm not good at this so i'm very sorry if this sucked and you were expecting better.. and sorry for the wait! 🩶

- parker (BWS)

[littlelostmabari]

Day 2: Armor

Ok maybe I am doing #Veilguard30, whoops. Cullen / Non-Inquisitor Mage OC, established relationship.

Rating: T (lyrium addiction, references to death)

Word Count: 1500

I wrote this thinking about Saoirse from my fic One of the Good Ones, but her name doesn't appear. The POV is not described other than she/her pronouns. Inky in this universe is (spoilers) a bit of a shit. Also don't @ me about Cullen w/ a mage, it makes sense in OotGO 🙃

"The Commander sleeps in his armor."

He'd heard the joke before. Every day. For weeks.

He heard it as he stomped across the battlements to the Herald's Rest for a bite of stale loaf too early for even the kitchen staff to be awake. Someone whispered as they left his office late into the night, when the only other waking minds were the soldiers too ill-behaved or unlucky to be posted during daytime when visiting nobles could bear witness to their antics. Varric mentioned it offhand on a random Thursday in Wintermarch when the Commander had stormed through the main hall of Skyhold to another inane meeting with the advisors and this woman who liked to call herself Inquisitor.

The dwarf thought he was original.

No, Cullen Stanton Rutherford, Commander of the Armies of the Second Inquisition, former acting Knight-Commander of the Circle at Kirkwall, formerly of Honnleath in Ferelden, did not sleep in his armor.

The truth was, he barely slept at all.

She closed the door, gently clicking wood and iron to shut herself away from the moonlight. Inside, three pairs of candles lit every available surface. One pair flickered on the table closest to the ladder to illuminate the path for runners between this office and the atrium of the elven apostate. Another pair were dimmer on the desk that she sometimes occupied when she helped him with supply ledgers.

The final pair, and the ones most frequently replaced, lit up the large wooden desk that formed the center of the Inquisitions armies. That desk was storied with symbolism and the weight of the duty of — oh who was she kidding. The desk was heavy as shit, and she knew because she and Sera had tried to stuff a small wooden wedge underneath it and their combined strength could barely shift the dust that accumulated along the edge. Fortunately the Iron Bull could be bribed.

Anyway, what was she looking at? Oh right, the candles.

Or more truthfully, the man whose face was lit up by the flicker of light. He was sitting, at least, a hand mulling about his three-day-old scruff. The shadow of yet another piece of paperwork struck an odd angle against his cheekbones and across the side of his nose, such that the emotions across his mouth and jaw were unreadable.

He hadn't looked up when she entered, but that wasn't unusual. Even this late at night, patrols and runners moved through his office with stunning regularity; unless something registered a threat or asked intentionally for his attention, he rarely got distracted by the doors anymore. She normally would take her time moving about the office, decluttering, dusting, replacing books back onto bookshelves in the way he had taught her because no, alphabetical order does not suffice, otherwise Genitivi's works would be too far away from the rest of the Chant.

Tonight, however, his hand wasn't just mulling across his three-day-old scruff, and he wasn't just holding yet another piece of paperwork up to the light. His fingers dug into both paper and flesh, tearing where they could and intenting where they couldn't. Eyes wide, she stepped carefully into his vision before moving closer. She was desperate not to startle him.

"Cul," she said softly, her murmur just barely louder than a whisper. "Is everything okay, sweetheart?"

His eyes betrayed him.

His hand fell from his mouth, leaving small red splotches and soft lines where the leather and the seams of his gloves dug into the skin of his cheeks. He dropped the list onto the table, and sat back with a smile that would have looked natural to those who did not know him. He stretched and rolled his shoulders in an effort to relieve the tension in his back and spine, but the creak of leather in need of conditioning suggested that he had spent too long hunched in thought. The wood of the chair legs scraped against stone.

"Hey, Pup, you're early," he murmured in return, one hand leaving his lap and stretching out, welcoming her to take its place. She obliged, sweeping one leg in between his and perching on his left thigh. She could enjoy at least this one of the only parts of him not covered in steel.

"I'm late, Cul. The three bell patrol just came through, and you," — she clicked a nail against his breastplate — "are supposed to be in bed."

He grimaced at the thought of his tardiness, but his eyes betrayed him again. They looked into her face without seeing, and then back down at the paper.

"Those we lost at Adamant," he answered the question she didn't ask. "Inquisition and Wardens."

She reached lingering fingers across the desk to the paper and pulled it just close enough to see that the list was too long. She reached a little farther and flipped it upside down in an attempt to hide it from his gaze, but the list only continued on the other side. He shared her grimace.

"Too many mistakes," he whispered, as if saying it made it reluctantly true. "The Inquisitor didn't bother with the battlements, and sentenced all the Wardens she met to death. Even those willing to lay down their arms. The report from Straud was damning". He made to slam his fist down on the table, but hesitated in the nighttime hours. "If I had been… if I had been at my best, Pup. If I had been focused…"

She pressed her lips gently to his forehead and let them linger. A small incantation left under her breath when she finally pulled away, and she could see the ripple of restoration magic echo down from his forehead to his neck, through his torso, and down to the hands that had started to shake.

"Lyrium might have saved a couple of them, Cullen." Her eyes looked deep into his, where the wrinkles looked ever so slightly shallower. "But you are saved without it. And the Inquisition needs you, Cullen. The best version of you."

"And I am better without Lyrium."

A couple years ago the statement would have been snarled with a snide grin or a sing-song lilt. He would have mocked her, while in the throes of withdrawal. Today it was emboldening, a mantra. He didn't quite yet believe it, but he no longer thought her entirely wrong.

She held him, palm against his cheekbone and fingers nustled in his hair, her forehead to his, until he found his way back to her glade of calm. Then, wordlessly, she rose with her hand on his, and moved them both away from the desk and towards the ladder, and with four candles snuffed, he followed her up into the loft.

The routine was a nightly ritual when they were both at Skyhold in the cramped attic they shared. When either slept alone, they each found themselves a little lost in the moments before bed, missing the parts of their night where touch was shared.

He never let her remove his boots and cuisses. They were almost always filthy, and he thought more of her than to have her wash his feet (even as she protested that they were his feet so she loved them anyway). His hands worked the buckles at his shoulders, where she was just barely too short to reach comfortably, while her nimble fingers worked their sisters on the sides of his torso. He would watch as she removed his bracers, breathing in the scent of her hair. Sometimes he let her remove his gloves, but more often than not she would ask him to pull them off with his teeth while he watched her climb into their bed. There was something primal about him ripping the final pieces from his body, sometimes wrapping items like his fur pauldrons around her, that made her dizzy with need.

But tonight was quiet in both mind and spirit. She brushed her lips against the parts of skin that she uncovered, replacing them with the gentlest of fingertip touches as he placed the pieces on the armor stand with ritual born of unannounced spot checks and stern commanding officers. The rest of his armor, clothes meant for the laundry and leathers in desperate need of new conditioning, were piled neatly next to the stairs for attending to tomorrow.

The moonlight she had shut out so long ago peeked in through the hole in the roof that neither of them wanted to fix. The oblique angle spread a path of silky white across two bodies that tangled themselves together under lightweight blankets, weaving legs over and under and arms across chests and under necks until neither knew where they ended and the other began. With her restoration magic quieting the simmering under his skin, sleep came quickly.

The morning did too.

And, as he did every morning, the Commander of the Inquisition's forces woke before the sun. It had no chance to gleam across steel and fur, even through the hole in the attic roof, until it was already on his body and he was striding across the battlements for a bite of stale loaf.

[theriverbeyond]

ianthe for the character meme :-)

favorite thing about them

the way she wields shame and humiliation like a weapon, how she very intentionally takes on positions that make people ignore her/pity her/humiliate her/etc and uses that to her advantage. whatever the fuck she is doing with gender. the way (IMO) her arm situation maps onto very specific disability narratives.

least favorite thing about them

can't think of one bc every single detestable thing she has done is very integral to why i like her as a character </3

favorite line

can't beat a classic!!!

brOTP

her and John. the way she changes her affect trying to be his Augustine and Mercymorn, the way she is manipulating him while also being manipulated by him, the way she attempts to wield power over him while definitely still being subject to his whims, the way she chooses him over Augustine at the bottom of the River. I could go on

OTP

UNREQUITED harrianthe‼️‼️‼️ that girl is head over heels In Love with Harrow and I love to see it. she fancies herself as someone who would take advantage of Harrow but when the mkment comes to act on that, cannot bear to see her truly vulnerable. Harrow makes her feel soft. Harrow makes her do stupid things. and Harrow doesn't want to give her the time of day!!!!

nOTP

all respect to the shippers but I don't find appeal in Cytherea/Ianthe. Ianthe is just enjoying it way too much and she also simply isn't butch enough for Cytherea's tastes. to ME

random headcanon

so we know that she was almost strangled in the womb by Corona's umbilical cord. my headcanon is she usually wakes up having unconsciously wound her sheets around her neck. Before she was separated from Corona, it was dubious if it was Ianthe doing it or Corona, in her sleep, but Ianthe does it herself after she becomes a Lyctor

unpopular opinion

she and kiriona did NOT fuck. she tried but was soundly rejected and VERY sulky about it

song i associate with them

greek tragedy by the wombats, shivers by ed sheeran, both harrianthe (ianthe POV) bangers #toME

favorite picture of them

is it cheating if i link fan art that I drew. anyway shoutout to the bone arm's fat pad. tho looking at that ab 2 years on i think I could do better. i should redraw...

also I really adore all the comics drawn by @/naomistares but in particular this one, which makes me feel things that are best left unmentioned!!

character ask game

[bisquicklite]

For the comfort prompts!!!

16. Gentle kiss

- @littlelordalphinaud

Thank you for the ask and I'm sorry it took me so long to answer hahahah

Count Edmont de Fortemps was not the sort of man who made a habit of eavesdropping on his children.

Well, not intentionally, anyway.

But the week thus far had seen Ishgard proper attacked, following a concerning uptick in activity in the ongoing war,and the few remaining Scions of the Seventh Dawn fleeing accusations of regicide. The latter all but necessitating Edmont to take them in under his protection- even if there was no small risk in doing so. They were foreigners, outside of the faith, and perhaps most importantly currently fugitives from Eorzean Justice.

However, they had also proven themselves as staunch allies in a short period of time. First, as reported by Haurchefant some months ago, their aid to Lord Francel. It also hadn’t escaped his notice that they also managed to sniff out a heretical plot in the Highlands. Then there was the business with the Primal Shiva and even defending Ishgard herself.

To let allies like that go unaided in their time of need would have been dishonorable.

And if his son was in love with the prominent Warrior of Light? Well, he wasn’t going to admit to being swayed by such a fact. Not when the woman had as impressive of a resume as she did. And certainly not when Haurchefant had loudly and insistently confessed his feelings for her during his outpouring of emotion to convince Edmont to grant the remaining Scions protection.

It took a few days to sort out the details. But the Scions were brought to Isgard and settled in, each of them immediately went to work on behalf of the House Fortemps.

On a night not long after things had settled, Edmont found he could not sleep. The first bell chimed not long before he decided to leave his bed, his chambers, and walk his aching leg down to the kitchen for some tea. Perhaps it was common for him to be preparing his own midnight snack, but the idea of waking up a servant for such a reason didn’t sit well with him. He was not so crippled that he could not make himself a cup of tea- and perhaps a biscuit and a nip of brandy in the tea.

It was with this in mind that he crossed the darkened, quiet manor. He did his best to be quiet, ever mindful of the time and the fact that the rest of the house was asleep.

Or they should be, Edmont thought, as in walking the hall he crossed the door to the sitting room, which was cracked just enough to view the scene inside. The dying fire provided a warm dim light that illuminated Haurchefant and Osha in profile.

They were sitting on the sofa, far too close to be proper. Their voices were hushed enough to lose meaning by the time they drifted to the door. If he wasn't mistaken, and he wasn't, that was Osha was perched in Haurchefant's lap, her arms wrapped around his neck, their faces a breath apart.

Edmont was tempted to close the door and walk away.

But he found himself concerned. And in that concern, Edmont found himself justifying just a bit of eavesdropping. He hovered near the door long enough to catch a brief exchange between the two.

If he was being honest to himself, Edmont was more concerned with the exact nature of their relationship than anything else. Haurchefant may have been thoroughly smitten, but what about this mysterious woman he brought home?

Osha Qhantari had proved polite enough, if a little common, and she seemed a sweet woman. Certainly not what one might picture next to the words ‘Warrior of Light’, ‘Champion of Eorzea’.  In the few interactions he had witnessed she seemed fond of his son. She was always overly friendly, in a way that did nothing to discourage Haurchefant’s affections. But it was difficult to tell if she was simply being friendly, and nothing more.

Not to mention that she was a Keeper woman, from such a background that Edmont simply did not know what to expect. Keeper women weren’t known for keeping a single man for life, nor submitting to a domestic life and marriage and- 

Watching them now, at how Osha relaxed in Haurchefant’s hold, her fingers idly playing with strands of silver hair, Edmont held the impression that she had been wisely conservative in her displays of affection. The way they looked at each other, talking quietly, was enough to convince the Count that the pair was a genuine romance.

“Oh, you’re terrible!” Osha laughed loud enough for Edmont to hear, and in her next breath her voice had softened to something thoroughly affectionate as she went on, “I love you so.”

The latter he barely caught as she had spoken quietly. But as excited as Edmont was to hear the confession, he was just as surprised by Haurchefant’s reaction. Or lack thereof, as his son, didn’t react with an excited, over the top return that he would expect. No frenetic return of such a confession. Haurchefant’s response was to smile brightly, and duck close so that their noses were nearly touching where he whispered his own affectionate response.

Edmont didn’t catch his son’s exact words, but did catch what sounded like claims of love, him calling Osha darling, and what must have been soft claims and promises.

Then she was reaching to hold Haurchefant’s face, and she held his gaze before leading him into a thoroughly gentle kiss. They didn’t part after either, simply lingering in each other’s space.

Edmont was struck by how very calm and loving the scene was. How very comfortable they were to be in the other’s hold. He was fairly certain he had never seen his son so well at ease and clearly happy.

It occurred to Edmont then that whatever the two had together, it was a good deal more well established than he could have guessed. It wasn’t a scene of seduction he witnessed but one of two people who cared for each other very much. And they loved each other, such was clear, at how easy it was for them to speak the words and how it was no more a cause for celebration, but a simple, comforting fact.

He eased the door closed, wincing at the threat of the hinges squealing and giving him away, but managed to quietly secure it shut.

Feeling a sense of relief Edmont couldn’t help smiling to himself as he continued on his way to the kitchens. He made a mental note to have a friendly, but serious conversation about the possibilities of courtship with Osha.

Shoutout to @littlelordalphinaud for the ask! :3

[dib-thing-wannabe]

Okay, here are some au ideas that I have but don't personally feel like expanding on. If you'd like, you can absolutely just steal them and make them your own, just tell me about it/tag me in it so I can follow along.

Jimmy Neutron Au Idea:

Essentially, Jimmy's evil clone escapes from the dark matter dimension and decided to try and play a couple harmless pranks on the town before starting his revenge on Jimmy. Though he wasn't able to get very far before Jimmy ends up running into him. Immediately, he dragged him into his lab to demand an explanation as to how he was able to escape. Once he tells him, and therefore proving to Jimmy that he can't just be put back without easily escaping again, Jimmy (with some convincing from the clone) decided to try and instead reform him, as there is nothing that he could do next without it being meaningless (that doesn't involve murder). Though once he tells his parents about his plan, they decide that it would be a great idea for him to live with them in their house as to keep an eye on him, essentially making him into their second child on a technicality. Which leads to him being able to annoy, tease and sometimes even fight Jimmy on occasion, and Jimmy would just have to take it (very similar to siblings having to deal with each other). Though eventually, they end up growing on each other, even if they don't like to show that. There was also this idea I had where Jimmy, before the evil clone showed up again, had begun to fall into a habit of not taking care of himself properly in favor of instead working on inventions and theories. No one had been able to either be able to see just how bad it was (as they aren't able to see his entire routine, so they just assume that whatever he wasn't doing then, he was doing later or he had done it earlier) or how bad it was affecting him. Everyone except the clone, as Jimmy begrudgingly keeps him close as much as possible to make sure he doesn't wreck havoc, so he could quickly see just how badly he was treating himself. Possible angst and character development could come from this.

Fairly Oddparents au idea:

Basically, after another time where Timmy's parents just straight up neglect him and/or intentionally do something fun without him, he ends up curling up into his bed and before sleeping, while Cosmo and Wanda are asleep, him unaware of them being asleep and unable to fullfil any wishes, wishes for new parents. Somehow though, the morning after he wakes up in a new yet similar house to his own, even with his fairies with him still, who are just as confused as he is. When he goes downstairs after a minute, he comes across a woman whom Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda has never seen before, yet she talks to him in a soft tone, as if she's known him his entire life. When Timmy asked her about herself, she confusingly tells him that she was obviously his mom and asks him if he was feeling okay. Still confused, Timmy sits down at the table and eats the breakfast his "mom" made for him, which just so happened to be his favorite food. As he finished eating, a man they also don't recognize enters the work, saying that he's about to leave for work. Timmy once again asked him who he was, where he also confusingly told him that he was his dad, his "pops". After the man and woman share a look at one another with a worried expression, they end up telling Timmy that he probably isn't feeling well and that he should go rest in his room, and that his "mom" will bring him some more warm food soon. Quickly though, Timmy adjusts to them supposedly being his parents, assuming that the wish had been made true, meanwhile Cosmo and Wanda are very confused and concerned because they don't recall Timmy very making that wish. Now this part you can choose not to do, but my idea is that the wish didn't actually become true due to Cosmo and Wanda, and that his "parents" actually strategically kidnapped him and gaslight him, not knowing how easy it would have been due to him thinking that his wish just simply came true. He still doesn't realize this, but Cosmo and Wanda do, seeing all the missing posters of him around town and his "parents" planning on moving to a very, very far away town soon.

[clumsiestgiantess]

Chapter 21 of The Other-world Universe; is promising to save an entire city of people from an apocalypse the smartest thing to do? No. Is it the right thing? Hopefully.

all chapters listed here

[Calm Before the Storm]

I woke up the next day with the immense relief that I had not rolled over in my sleep.  Yet when I yawned, I didn’t feel Erica's form shift on top of me.  My head shot upright in a mini panic attack as I searched for her, trying to make as little movement as possible.  I was a few seconds away from fully sitting up before I finally found her.  

Erica had — either intentionally or subconsciously in sleep — managed to slip her way into my bra, and was sleeping soundly in the center of my chest.  Bewilderment and relief flooded through me so suddenly, I nearly laughed aloud at the sight.  Heat already began seeping across my cheeks as I watched her snuggle against me.  I was slightly suspicious that this might have been her plan all along, but it was entirely possible that it was a mistake.  After all, she had no blanket, and her spot tucked between fabric and my skin had to be rather cozy.  I have to admit, I don't blame her for sleeping there.

For a while I lay in the field trying to get control over my furious blush, but soon I felt Erica stirring on my chest.  I quickly shut my eyes, pretending to have been asleep.  Obviously, I couldn't see her reaction, but I could feel her flinch slightly once she awoke.  There was a split second of confused crawling around before she gasped; the audible shock behind its sound convinced me that she had in fact not planned for this.

"Holy shit!" I heard her whisper faintly, "How the hell did I get here?"  I bit my lip, desperately trying to keep myself from smiling at her reaction.  Thankfully, I hid my bemusement quickly.  Erica slowly crawled out from the top of my bra, trying her best not to wake me.  As quickly as she dared, she clambered down my side to the ground below.  The echoes of her faint touch still danced across my skin long after she'd stepped away.

When I was certain she had moved further from me, I pretended to wake up.  Erica was sitting on my cast-off clothing when I opened my eyes, no doubt pretending that was where she'd slept.  "Good morning," I addressed her with another yawn, "Did you sleep well on my shirt?"  Even with the slight distance between us, I could see the massive amount of guilt written over every one of her features.  To hide this, Erica busied herself by looking for the top half of her own clothes, which had been tossed off into the darkness the night before.  "Uhh, yeah!  I enjoyed spending the night with you."  Even her voice sounded slightly off-pitch with embarrassment.

"Something wrong?" I asked her.  "No!  Nothing's wrong; I just.. I can't find my stuff."  "Mhm, sure."  My mocking tone gave everything away.  She turned to look up at me, eyes wide.  "You woke up before me, didn't you?" she accused, a bit shaken.  "I may have," I replied, sliding closer to her.  "I.. That was an accident, I swear.  I wouldn't have done that unless you were awake.  You know, in case you disagreed."  "Well.. I don’t think I am disagreeing with it."

For once, Erica became a blushing mess instead of myself.  She collected her things from the ground with flushed cheeks and an embarrassed smile, pressing them to her chest.  We had breakfast together, and Erica promised to come sleep with me at least once every week.  "To keep you company out here," she clarified, "Not because of, you know, anything that happened last night."  “Really?” I mocked a shocked expression, “That’s not the reason?”  Erica rolled her eyes, “Alright, that’s part of the reason.  It’s like.. a billion times more exhilarating making out with someone who’s building-sized.”

With a bemused chuckle, I finished my meal.  "Let's go see what everyone else is up to today, shall we?" I asked after we'd readied ourselves for the day.  "I'm supposed to be guarding the town, but lately I feel like I've just been slacking off."  "Alright," Erica agreed, "I'll go bother Ivan, then."  I smiled, shaking my head slightly.  Ivan is, to say the least, almost the opposite of Erica personality-wise.  I can easily imagine the havoc she undoubtedly thrusts upon him in the Cavern Town.  Usually, I was around to deal with her charisma myself, but I guess he'd been having to deal with it for the past few days that I’d been away.  

I held out my hand for Erica to climb on.  It was an unspoken rule that she would ride on my shoulder whenever we traveled together.  She stretched tiredly across its length before sitting up sideways, her back tucked against my neck.  With her settled in, I started off towards the town.  I couldn’t help but sneak a glance at her every so often.  Erica always seemed the most comfortable perched on my shoulder.  Half of me thinks it’s adorable, but my more reasonable half always reminds me of the times she nearly fell off.  Despite this, the former part of me always wins in the end, and I let her stay.

Reaching the valley of the Cavern Town, I checked in with the guards before anything else.  However, they were nowhere to be found.  Erica and I exchanged puzzled glances as I bent closer to one of the wooden structures.  Multiple large guns greeted me in response.

I flinched harshly, feeling Erica’s grip tighten on me as she was thrown backwards.  After a few tenuous seconds, someone recognized me.  “Get down!” a guard whisper-yelled at me, “There were giants spotted on the horizon to the west!”  My nerves spiked instantly and I dropped onto the valley floor.  If the scientists come back now, I might not be able to fight them off!  Sure, I have my new weapon, but I barely had time to practice with it yesterday.  I haven’t even put up a barrier around the town, either.  What if they attack it again?!

Worst-case-scenarios drifted through my head while I pressed myself to one of the mountains behind me.  They're here for the other-world people, not me.  I tried unsuccessfully to calm myself down, but I knew that wasn’t true.  In fact, they might've come back specifically because of me.  After all, I'd killed a few of them in my rage the last time we'd clashed.  

What if the scientists came to kill me?  I don't think I can fight any more than five of them at a time.  And I only managed to do that because I'd caught them off-guard.  What if they lock me away like everyone else — an oddity from a world that isn’t there?

Suddenly, I was startled from my thoughts by a whisper to my side.  "You're alright; it's ok,"  Erica comforted me, carefully laying a hand on my neck.  "The hazmat giants aren't here.  Just- Just calm down.. you're shaking."  I am?  I am.  I hadn't even realized that my shot nerves were vibrating my body with fear-induced adrenaline.  Try as I might, I couldn't get myself to stop.  My heartbeat pounded in my ears, and I was almost pulled into another downward spiral of worries.  Thankfully, Erica snapped me back out of it.  She tapped my shoulder lightly and I turned to see her.  With one small gesture, she slid into my awaiting palms.

I tried in vain to stop myself from shaking as I slowly brought her in front of me.  Despite that, Erica still wobbled in my cupped hands as she stood, reaching out to gently grip my face for balance.  Once she steadied herself, she stood directly in front of my vision.  "Focus on me, alright?"  My head was brought closer to herself.  "You'll be ok.  Just focus on me."  I listened raptly, trying to match my erratic breathing to her calmer breaths.  Her chest grazed my fingertips with every inhale as she leaned over them.  Erica’s concerned expression filled my view while she tried to take my focus off the possibly vengeful scientists.

Is this how Erica sees me? I wondered, watching her concerned expression inch ever-closer to my eyes.  Do I take up her vision like this when I get close?  It was strangely comforting now, but I could certainly see how overwhelming I would’ve been to her before we got to know one another.

I kept my gaze on her, though she only really fit into my view one eye at a time. Before long, a guard from the structure opposite us gave the all-clear.  I stood up with Erica grasped lightly in my clutches, gazing out at the horizon beyond the mountains around me.  “Where’d they go?” I wondered aloud.  “Must’ve been on the hunt for a different town,” Erica noted, “They know better than to mess with this one, thanks to you.”  I smiled down at her thankfully.  She met my gaze with such tenderness I nearly went in for a kiss before remembering where we were and deciding otherwise.

Together we made it the rest of the way to the cavern, where a small crowd had gathered outside.  I recognized Ivan immediately; he stood at the front, nervously shifting from foot to foot.  He flagged me down, but two vaguely familiar people stepped in the way before I could get to him.

Erica quietly explained from her spot in my hands that they were the co-founders of the Cavern Town: Isabel Ashford and Marcus Stoll.  She’d met them briefly when she’d been ‘kidnapped’ from the cliffside.  These were the same two people who’d negotiated the protection deal.  I knelt in front of them, letting Erica off shortly afterwards.  “Defender,” the kinder one, Ms. Ashford, addressed me as I settled cross-legged on the ground.  'Defender' is my nickname amongst some of the people living there; many of the guards called me by it.  

“The giants could have attacked us earlier, and you would not have been here to do your job.  The one thing we asked of you is that you protect our city as amends for destroying it.”  I nodded my head solemnly, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to protect you.  I have no excuse.”  Silently, I shifted to feel the smooth crystalline structure embedded in my neck.  “However,” I continued, remembering why I’d wanted to return to the Cavern Town, “I might have a solution.  At least, I hope I do.”

With a slight flourish, I slid my gun out from behind me.  A murmur rose from the group of people gathered outside.  “I made and tested this yesterday.  Working properly, it’ll be able to create a protective barrier over your whole town.”  The shorter gruffer one, Mr. Stoll, was ready with multiple questions: How strong is the barrier?  What is it made of?  How deep does it go?  Would people be able to leave once it was put up?  Would they be able to breathe inside it?  Will I continue to stay in the valley after I've set it up?  All good questions; I answered every last concern until the two leaders reconvened and headed back towards the town to debate my idea.

A large number of Cavern Town residents stayed behind once they heard Erica tell me to demonstrate the barrier setting for her, including one of the founders, Mr. Stoll.  He broke away from the other founder and slunk along the edges of the crowd, watching me intently.  I pretended not to take notice, but I could feel him watching me.

After covering various pieces of land with green, glassy covers, I realized I’d yet to figure out how to take them down.  Oh no, please don’t make me recreate this thing again.  Ivan managed to slip through the crowd towards me as everyone gathered around to see the small barriers for themselves — walking through them and testing their strength with various objects nearby.  I watched them intently.  None of them were strong enough to cause much more than a strong ricochet, which worked out perfectly.  I didn’t need anything blowing up by mistake.

Erica surveyed everything from atop one of my knees while I sat in the midst of the crowd, trying my best not to get overwhelmed by the amount of small people surrounding me.  Once he’d made it to my side, Ivan called up to me, but I strained to hear his voice over the crowd and his distance from me.  Erica noticed my confusion.  “He asked if the barriers are really going to do anything, because it looks like they can’t!  Everyone’s just walking through them!” she yelled to me.  Ivan yelled at her and motioned for me to lower my hand to him, learning from Erica’s little gestures.

When my hand touched the ground, everyone around Ivan scattered as if I’d put down an explosive.  I tried not to dwell on the fact that everyone there seemed so frightened of me, or the fact that I had to pick people up just to understand them.  My height was quite the advantage in an apocalypse where ‘giants’ were invading, but it was such a hindrance for so many other things.  I want to help people.  If those same people are frightened of me, then are they really going to want my help?  A small sinking feeling arose in my chest.  These barriers better work…

With Ivan in my palm, I lifted him to my face.  “I didn't say any of that!” he told me, waving a hand at Erica.  “I asked if it was strong enough to keep giants out while still letting people through.”  Erica rolled her eyes behind his back.  “Hopefully,” I answered Ivan.  “there’s no way for anything besides your people and me to pass through one.  The scientists and whoever else tries to get in will be blocked, though I can’t exactly test it with the ‘giants’,” I confessed, “I did test it with a few different objects.  Nothing got through.”

“If they can’t get through it, won’t they try to dig beneath the barrier instead?”  I shook my head, “Even if they tried digging beneath it, the barrier will grow to cover anything they dig out.”  “Won’t it grow over the tunnels we make to get materials and things in and out, too?”  “Don’t worry, I thought of that.  The barrier will stay open around them so long as you make them before I put it up.  If you do it beforehand, the barrier will grow around the tunnels when it forms.  If you do it afterwards, like the scientists might try, it’ll sense that there’s a breach and grow to fill any gaps.”

Ivan seemed satisfied at that, and I let him off beside Erica. She gave him a teasing look and he said something to her. It was hard to tell sometimes whether those two were getting along or not, but Erica burst out laughing and Ivan grinned, so I guessed they were both fine. Before long, the crowd dispersed, leaving me, Erica, and Ivan behind along with a few stragglers.  I glanced around inconspicuously, trying to spot the founder who’d been watching me, but it seemed Mr. Stoll had disappeared along with most of the crowd.

By lunchtime, I was the only one left outside to patrol the mountains and practice with my new weapon — besides the other-worldians in the watchtowers, of course.  They came out in shifts, but there was always someone there occupying every lookout.  The others had left for the Cavern Town by then, hoping to find news about the debate and my idea. I toyed with my barriers, trying to seem like I knew what I was doing while the guards were watching.  Thankfully, I found that I had to hold my hand on top of a barrier and will it to stop existing if I wanted it to fall away.  The idea was somewhere in the back of my mind when I’d first created the crystalline bar. 

I’d just returned to the valley after eating lunch in my field when the founders returned.  Thankfully, they hadn’t arrived sooner, or they would’ve found me missing once again.  “We’ve come to a conclusion,” Ms. Ashford announced.  “You may place the barrier over the town, but only after we put hidden passages in place for our people.”  “Which means you stay nearby until they’re finished,” Mr. Stoll told me with a hint of distrust, “You will sleep right here in the valley, and return to your place in the field only after the barrier is up and functioning properly. Afterwards, I suppose we could cut back on your working hours so long as you make an appearance daily to scout for other giants.”  

The rules were fair enough.  I didn’t like the idea of sleeping in the slim space between the mountains, but it wouldn’t be for very long.  Erica had immediately complained once she heard about my sleeping in the valley.  However, I reminded her about her perfectly fine bed in the Cavern Town.  “At least you have an actual bed, and a house,” I said after she grumbled over the fact she couldn’t secretly sleep with me.  Erica mumbled a half-hearted apology before leaving for the town, yelling: “Steal a bed from your own world if you want one so badly!”  Before I could tell her that was a dumb idea, and the scientists would definitely be able to spot it, she’d vanished into the rocks.

With the plan underway and a full-time job taking up most of my time, the days blurred together quicker than I thought.  Erica would come visit me on the mountainside at least once or twice a day to keep me from getting too bored or too worried.  Ever since those scientists made their way along the horizon, I was anxious that they’d be back to take the town while it wasn’t protected by the barrier.  I trained with my weapon with every opportunity I got, which sometimes included late nights.  I didn’t sleep much anyways; the restricting space between the valley, and the potential to damage more of the mountainsides, kept me up.

Several weeks later, a few crude passages had been established.  They would be smoothed, tiled, and lit eventually, but they were solid enough in their current state to count as complete.  With crossed fingers, I pulled out my gun and shifted it into the fourth and final mode.  The whole town — which had really grown into a city — had to evacuate just in case something went wrong and the barrier somehow failed dangerously.

I was shocked at the amount of people that filed out of the gaping cavern in the side of the mountain.  I’d never seen the whole population in one place before.  Every day a scouting group would come back with various items and occasionally people in tow, but I hadn’t realized just how many other-worldians had settled there.  This has to work, I realized suddenly, Otherwise everyone here might not have a safe space to live anymore.  The scientists know all of this is here.  Why haven’t they come to take it yet?

With everyone finally out of the cavern, the founders gave the signal that it was completely empty.  With careful aim, I guided the barrel to the center of the hollow mountain and fired.  A firework-esque crackle resonated through the valley, making my hair stand on end.  Pieces of rock fell off the mountainside and exploded on the barrier’s face.  Small landslides tumbled dangerously close to the crowd, but I quickly swept them away with my free hand, blocking anything from falling too close.

It was a rather raucous creation, but once everything settled down, the barrier looked stunning.  Tension released from my taunt muscles as my plan fell into place, and I let out a breath I felt like I’d been holding for days.  Soon, everyone from the Cavern Town returned inside — marveling at their brand-new protection.  I could hear the faint noises of celebration coming from within; cheers and music drifted through the barrier and the tunnels. 

As my reward, I was allowed to collect my things and return to the field.  The valley looked a bit more barren than usual without me in it.  I don’t know why I was so melancholy leaving it; I hadn’t liked sleeping there at all. Longingly, I watched the festivities from afar.  “If only I could actually celebrate my accomplishments with them,” I whispered, “but I bet everyone will get uncomfortable if I get too close.” I rubbed the bar on my neck unconsciously.  If only this thing worked how I made it…

Dark clouds rolled in on a strong breeze that smelled of rain.  I put up a barrier around my blankets in anticipation for the storm to come, then lay down and curled up in my empty patch of grass alone, left daydreaming about what I would be doing if I were other-world size with Erica and Ivan out celebrating.

The next morning, I woke up extremely early.  Too early. A storm had started up while I slept, and I was startled awake by a sudden downpour.  The sound of the rain pelting the barrier was horrendous.  For the whole city inside the other barrier, the sound was probably dulled by how full the hemisphere was with rock and machinery and patched-together houses.  For me in my almost empty barrier, the hollowness amplified the noise until it was impossible to sleep or even think.

I angrily took down the barrier and almost went to grab an umbrella from my own world before lightning suddenly streaked across the sky.  Shit, that’s close!  I hit the dirt, realizing that I was definitely the tallest thing in the field.  An umbrella would only make things worse.  If I got struck, I would probably just end up back in the basement rather than dying — just like what had happened on my very first day.  However, the electrical surge from an actual bolt of lightning, no matter how small, might be enough to knock me out.  At the very least, it would be tremendously painful.

Again I found myself hating my stupid living arrangements.  I was wet, my blankets and pillow were soaked, and I could barely keep my eyes open due to my early wake-up call.  The storm stopped a few hours later, but by then I’d stayed up for so long and was so soaking wet that I was already wide awake and shaking slightly with the cold.  I internally rejoiced when the sun came out, warming me up and drying me off a bit.

The whole field was practically underwater — flooded by the rain — so I took my meal to go.  I must’ve looked like an absolute mess.  The moment Erica saw me, she gave me a look that was equally pitying and slightly amused.  “You might want to borrow a brush from your world,” she chuckled, “You look like you were hit by a train.”  “Or a thunderstorm,” I grumbled, “I’ll be back.”  In a moment, I was in my own world.  

Thankfully, everyone was preoccupied with other things at the time, so I was able to get a hairbrush and a fresh change of clothes without anyone noticing me.  I stayed a bit longer once I heard my family making plans in the living room.  Soon enough they would come over to my room to bring me up to speed on their ideas, so I avoided them by taking a shower.  Minutes later, my dad yelled through the bathroom door that he and the others were heading out.  He offered to wait for me, but I turned him down.  I had to get back to the other-world.

With everyone gone, and myself finally pampered and warmed up, I took a moment to stroll through the house, marveling at how everything was just perfectly scaled to me.  Back in the basement, I packed a few extra items for my settlement — including a hairbrush.  When I went to put my things away, however; I got an ingenious idea.  Grabbing my blanket and pillow, I brought them into my world.  “I’ve had just about enough of being uncomfortable,” I grumbled.  

Taking them both into the field of strange energy, I gave them each special abilities.  I imbued the pillow with the ability to make it feel like I was sleeping on a mattress while I used it, and I imbued the blanket with the ability to be the perfect temperature at all times.  “There,” I sighed, placing them down.  “I’ll check on you later.  First, I’ve got to get back to the town.”

Erica was waiting for me in the same spot she'd stood before, milling around aimlessly, waiting for me to come back.  She did a double take once I re-appeared, then nodded.  "Yup, that's much better."  I rolled my eyes with a smile and gently scooped Erica up.  Or, more accurately, I’d barely reached for her before she scrambled up into my hand.  “Where are we going?” she asked, peering over my cupped fingers in excitement.

“Now that I have some time off, I was thinking of exploring the rest of the mountains over here.  I’ll get a lay of the land, maybe find another town.”  “Another town?” Ivan echoed.  He’d just stepped out of one of the new tunnels and overhead me.  “I don’t think that’s a good idea..  You’ll just terrify a bunch of innocent people.”  

“But I could help them!  I could give everyone a barrier just like this one,” I explained, gesturing towards the Cavern Town, now sealed off by an indestructible opaque hemisphere.  “You should wait until we know the barrier actually works before you do that.”  My brows furrowed in concern, and I knelt to see Ivan’s expression.  “You don’t think it’ll work?” I asked, slightly offended.  I’d worked hard to create something that would protect everyone from the likes of the scientists.

“All I’m saying is that we have no proof that it does work,” he reasoned, “I’m fairly confident it will keep the giants out, and so are most people, or else we wouldn’t have let you put it up.  But no one knows that for sure because no one’s ever tried to break in. You said so yourself that you couldn’t fully test it.”  I nodded, seeing the logic behind Ivan’s argument.  I wanted to solve everything desperately — to keep awful things from happening and to prove I wasn’t a part of such awful things myself — but not so desperate that I was willing to give false hope to people just to relieve some of the stress.

However, Erica scoffed in my cupped hands.  “And?  What are you suggesting?  Do you want us to lure some giants over to test it?” She asked sarcastically.  “No!” Ivan yelled, exasperation growing in his voice.  “We should know for a fact that the barrier keeps giants out before we go promising it to others!  If they’re depending on it to keep them alive and it fails, you’re going to be responsible for their capture!”  Erica was ready to quip something snide in return, but I placed my hand over her — holding her in an interlocking cage of my own fingers.  Again, it was hard to tell if they were getting along or genuinely fighting.

“Erica, let it go.  He has a point; we can’t go around giving out barriers claiming they can stop the scientists when we don’t know if they actually do.”  I could hear her grumble in protest, but her voice was too muffled by my fingers to understand.  “I’ll just patrol around the valley today.  Want to come with us, Ivan?”

He shook his head, “I have plenty of things to do in town.”  I nodded, watching him leave.  Was that an excuse not to come, or does he genuinely have stuff to get done?  Erica yelled something and I quickly released her.  “What did you say?”  “I said forget about him.  If he wants to sit around in the rocks, let him.  He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”  With an annoyed huff, Erica gave a running leap out into the open air before landing on my chest, clinging to the fabric of my shirt.  She clambered up to one of my shoulders and sat atop it — perched a dizzying height above the ground for someone as tiny as her.  

“Alright I’m set, let’s go,” she said as nonchalantly as if she’d got into a car rather than jumped over a deadly long gap.  Speechless, I glanced over at her with wide eyes.  She snickered and leaned back slightly, grinning at me.  “Something wrong?” Erica asked in an innocent voice.  I shook my head at her reproachfully.  “You’re crazy.  I don’t know how you get the confidence to do half the things you do.”

Erica thought silently as I meandered around the outskirts of the valley.  “Well, I know you’ll always be there to stop anything bad from happening,” she answered with a nonchalant shrug.  Of course I’ll always take care of her, but she she should still be at least a little self-conscious, shouldn’t she? It’s not just her I have to worry about anymore; it’s the whole town. The daunting reality had dawned in my mind watching the crowds of people outside the mountain, but now it had really settled in.

“We've.. stopped," Erica stated in confusion.  I could feel her edge forward slightly, trying to gauge my pensive expression from the side.  "Alexis?  Are you alright?"  A long sigh escaped my lips and I put a hand to one of my temples to massage it.  A slight headache had tormented me for the past few days.  The storm the night before had only worsened it.

"Yeah.  I'm just.. tired, I guess."  I sat down heavily on a flatter part of the mountainside.  "You haven't been getting much sleep in the valley, have you?" Erica asked, realizing how exhausted I really was.  "Well, there's that.  But I've also been so stressed with the whole 'this barrier better work because if it doesn't you might be leaving a few thousand people defenseless' thing too,” I added.  Erica patted the side of my neck comfortingly, I turned to her and she brushed a stray lock of hair from my face.  

“I know, love.  People talk in that mountain, too.  They know they have to rely on you…  It’s a mixed reaction, really.  All those people — I can’t imagine the burden,” she said softly.  “Even-” she paused, shook her head, then started again.  “I’m here.  I’ll help in every way I can, I promise.  I hate that this is happening to you.. to us, but I’m with you.  Even if I’m not physically fighting beside you.  Even if I really want to be…” Erica gave me a little pleading look and I returned it with a half smile.  “If you’re scared or stressed or anything, pick me up anytime and let me help you.”

“Thank you,” I sighed. Smiling softly at her, I reached up and stroked her arm, then carefully rested the pad of my thumb against the side of her head.  A rare genuine smile passed Erica’s lips as she closed her eyes, leaning into my touch.  “I didn’t get a lot of sleep-” I paused to yawn, “last night too, so you aren’t entirely wrong about the no sleep thing either. Stupid thunderstorm kept me up.”  “Then what are you doing carrying me around?” Erica asked incredulously, “Go and get some sleep, you big dork!”  “But, it’s not even dark-”  “If you’re stressed and tired, you have no reason to be up right now!  Go to bed.  No excuses.”

Sighing, I lifted Erica off my shoulder to get a better look at her.  She knelt in my palms, looking meaningfully up at me, gesturing for me to bring her closer.  The moment I bridged the small gap between us, Erica pressed a small kiss onto my cheek.  “Go rest,” she said softly, “You deserve a break, Alexis.”  I gave in — nodding my agreement as I headed back to the right mountain to let Erica off.  Leaving her and everyone behind the safety of the barrier, I trudged off to my things that I’d returned to the field.

When I flopped over onto my blanket, it felt like heaven.  I’d forgotten that I gave little powers to my bedding.  I spread out completely, enjoying all the room I had out in the field.  The tight walls of the valley near the Cavern Town had previously restricted my sleeping space — it had been close to claustrophobic.  Now I had all the room I could want, as well as my new more comfortable sleeping arrangements.  Though there were still plenty more hours of daylight left, I was asleep in minutes.

[pupphe-additions]

✬Evie Story Teaser✬

Word Count: 2109

cw/tw: night terrors, flashbacks, light talks/mention of multiple types of ab*se (physical and sexual), ptsd episode, mentions sh, has swearing

a/n: anything intalics is spoken in English.

March 20, 2021

Evie wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and she bolts up in bed and lets out the loudest scream she’s ever made in her life and starts to hyperventilate. Her corgi, Aurora, comes jumping onto her bed and lays on her lap to try and get her to calm down but Evie is having vivid flashbacks and doesn’t even notice the dog. She starts crying and hugs her knees tightly to her chest, causing the dog to instead lay next to her staring at her owner helplessly, as she starts to tremble. There’s some knocking on her door from one of the boys but she doesn’t notice.

Evie just woke up from a memory like dream and it reminds her why she hasn’t been sleeping much since what happened right before her hiatus. Aurora starts to lick the back of Evie’s hands as she cries into her knees. She’s remembering all the times she’s been beaten down, both in a literal and verbal sense, and just used and hurt. Evie starts to dig her nails into her skin and rock as her mind continues racing and is flooded with all of the bad she’s been trying to run from all these years. She is more specifically remembering why she went on this hiatus to begin with. 

A few weeks before this Evie had been sexually harassed by a man who claimed to really love her and her group. He groped her lightly and tried to do more but she slapped him across the face as hard as she could. She then shoved him and screamed at him calling him an awful person and running to one of her staff members, who had left her only for a few moments. When the staff asked her why she looked so scared and stressed Evie just calmly told them she wanted to go back home and they then quickly finished what they needed to do and then escorted her back to her dorm room. She has yet to tell anyone about what happened because at the time she didn’t think it was that big of a deal, but clearly it was if it caused her to get like this. She shakes her head crying.

The knocking is more insistent and she could hear a voice from behind the door. Concerned, gentle, urgent, tone saying something she can’t quite make out as she continues to rock and claw at her skin until she bled. She knows she has to talk about this with her therapist sooner now than she originally planned to and she’s not looking forward to it. Evie can hear someone at her door finally breaking from her spell in her mind.

“Evs? Evs, ya ok?” the voice calls from the door again.

Evie speaks barely above a whisper saying, “It’s open…” 

The door opens fast and Chan comes running to the side of Evie’s and sitting down swiftly grabbing onto Evie’s hands to make her stop digging at her own skin. He glances around the room for anything to clean up the blood but he can’t find anything so he looks at Evie with gentle concern.

“Ah, Evs, what happened? What’s got you all worked up like this Bug?” Chan asks. “Would you like me to help you clean that?”

“I…” Evie stops and just nods, tears falling still. 

Chan gets up and quickly grabs a med kit from Evie’s closet, they decide to keep it there after Chan found out that Evie tends to hurt herself both intentionally and by accident. He starts to clean up the scratches, which were much deeper than he’d thought they would be. Evie was clearly getting lost in her thoughts again so Chan gently rubbed his thumb against her cheek.

“Bug, what happened? Why did you scream?” Chan asks in his quiet gentle older brother tone that always melts Evie’s heart, it always reminds her of Hudson when he gets like this.

“Huds…” was all she could say.

“No Evelyn. It’s Chris not Hudson.” 

“Huds…!?” She then just burst into tears and Chan pulled her into a gentle hug before grabbing his phone and calling Hudson.

“Chris? Why are you calling me at this ungodly hour? Is my sister okay?!” Hudson can be heard speaking extremely fast and concerned.

“Physically? I guess. Mentally? No. She kept saying your name so I decided to video call you.” Chan replies as he props his phone up so Hudson could see his sister and vice versa if she wanted to.

The room falls silent as Evie just sits there staring blankly at Chan’s phone. Hudson tried getting her attention but it didn’t work, Evie was officially lost in her own mind again. Hudson started to pace his room as he watched Chan comfort his sister the best he could. Chan started to sing one of Evie’s favorite songs and she immediately snapped out of it, staring at Chan in awe. She wanted to join him in singing but she couldn’t bring her heart to do it so she just listened to him gently singing to her.

“You remembered…” She whispers as he finishes.

“Of course I did. How could I forget?” he says smiling at her kissing her head very softly. “Are you ready to talk now, Bug?”

Evie reluctantly nods. “I had a very vivid bad dream… It was like part memory, part nightmare…”

Chan sits next to Evie gently and helps Luna, Evie’s other dog onto the bed before speaking in a loving tone. “Would you want to talk about it?”

Evie takes a shaky breath before speaking again. “Exactly two weeks again I had some creepy man…” She trails off for a moment. “Grope me… In the dream things went… farther… I don’t want to…”

“You don’t have to.” Chan cuts her off noticing how uncomfortable she is with this topic. “Did the staff see it happen?”

“No… I smacked him and ran to the staff before it could get worse…” Evie said in a defeated tone. “I’m sorry for not telling you”

“It’s okay, I would never be mad at you for not telling me something right away that traumatized you.”

“But that’s the thing. I didn’t tell you guys because I thought it wasn’t that big of a deal. Like I didn’t think it was bothering me until tonight… If I’m honest though it’s part of the reason I asked for the hiatus…”

“I hope that cunt fucking rots.” Hudson interrupts.

“I think we all do Huddy.” Evie says with a smile when she notices Chan called her brother.

“Thank you for picking up Huddy but I’ll call you in the morning. You have the twins to tend to. I love you.”

“I love you too Evs, call me when you wake up again if you decide to sleep or call me when you plan to make those brownies.” Hudson says before hanging up.

“Did I wake you?” Evie asks anxiously.

“No, I wasn’t asleep yet, I think you woke up Minho though.” Chan responds, causing Evie to frown.

“Another thing happened too… If you want to hear…” Evie starts to trail off and starts to space as she talks.

“Are you ready to talk about it?”

Evie shakes her head no but starts to talk anyway. “During my trainee days when I lived with that one roommate, someone broke in and… hurt me…”

“Hurt you…?” Chan asks gently “Where?”

She shrugged before putting his hand on her cheek and he gently kissed her on her cheek.

“You didn’t deserve that Bug.”

“It gets worse…”

Chan just pulls her into a hug silencing the broken younger idol. Evie allows herself to crumble into him and she starts to gently hit her head off his chest, a common occurrence between the two. He gently puts his hand on the back of her head and pulls her closer to him. Chan can’t help but to feel angry and pained over the fact that Evie had to go through something like this not once but twice. He knows what she means by it gets worse, he doesn’t want her talking about it when she clearly isn’t ready yet. The hiatus and extra therapy is making a lot more sense to him now. 

“We don’t need to talk about it Evs, do you want me to call the boys for a movie?” Chan asks when he notices she’s starting to shake.

“No they are sleepin.”

“Then do you want to watch a movie with me?”

“No, you need to sleep.” she said kind of coldly.

“You know I won’t be able to sleep because I’m worried about you.”

“Exactly why I should just never talk about my issues again.” Evie is clearly frustrated with herself.

“Bug, I’m not upset with you.”

“Is Minho awake…?” Evie asks after a few minutes of silence.

“I can go check if you’d like, if he’s not do you want anyone else?” 

“Lix or my baby?” she says with a shrug before she lays in the fetal position on her bed.

Chan nods before checking to see who is awake. While Chan is gone Evie takes that time to cuddle close to her dogs and tell them about what happened at the apartment to get it off her chest without having to tell the boys yet.

“He thought I was alone so he tried to…” Before she could finish her thought she heard footsteps and curled tighter into a ball. 

The footsteps go away and she continues “He tried to make me… ya know…” then she gestures to her mouth. Her dogs look at her confused.

“Make me ya know. Slob on the knob I guess.” she says before chuckling at her own way of describing it. “I know you guys don’t know what I’m talking about but mama needed to get it off her chest.”

“Mama?” Hyunjin smirks from the doorway causing Evie to nearly jump out of her skin and she chucks a pillow at him.

“Fuck you!” Evie shouts out of fear before taking a deep shaky breath and sitting back up. “I’m sorry… Did I wake you… Did you hear what I said to them…?”

“Yes you woke me, but it’s okay.”

“But did you hear me?”

Hyunjin walks into the room and gives her a hug as he lies and says. “No I didn't, I just walked by when you called yourself mama.”

Just then Chan, Felix, Minho, and Jeongin all walk into the room and they engulf Evie in a group hug. Evie starts crying again. The love these boys show her is something she never thought she’d experience, nor did she expect. She feels extremely undeserving of their friendship.

“Chan said you had a bad dream, is that why you screamed?” Minho asks after the hug breaks off.

“Yeah. I’m sorry for waking you guys. We should get some rest…”

“You seem reluctant to sleep.” Felix observes.

“That’s because I am…” Evie admits quietly while running a hand through her hair, just after Jeongin sneaks in another quick hug.

“Do you want to sleep with one of us?” Hyunjin asks gently, shocking everyone in the room including himself.

“Could I?”

“Who?” Chan asks.

“Lix?”

“Of course! Let’s go.” Felix said eagerly

“Will the staff be mad that I’m switching rooms for the night?” Evie asks with a frown.

Felix flashes a smile “Truthfully, I don’t give a fuck, I miss hanging out and sleeping with you. Let’s go cuddle, bring the dogs with you.”

With that Felix and Jeongin walk out of the room, Hyunjin following after telling Evie goodnight and kissing her on her head. This leaves only Evie, Minho, and Chan left in the room and Evie is shocked to be pulled into a tight embrace from Minho.

“You know, I hear you crying every night right?” he whispers to her hoping the other boys don't hear him.

“I’m sorry… I’ve been through a lot…” Evie tells the younger boy with a sore heart.

“I know noona, and I’m sorry for that. You have us now, never forget that. I love you.” Minho says hugging her tighter than he ever has.

“I love you too Mini.” Evie says, squeezing him back. “Never call me noona again though.”

Minho smiles before taking his turn to leave and Chan walks her to Felix’s room. When she gets there she hugs Chan goodbye and tells him to try and rest. Felix assures the older boy he will take care of Evie before they head to Felix’s room and cuddle until Evie eventually falls asleep watching Felix rest peacefully.

[illumiera]

sending you yet another ask. ‘Q’ and ‘U’ for ellie and miraak, and ‼️ for you! :3

thank you for yet another delicious ask, jules! 🤲

✨ ask game! ✨

Q. first act of non-sexual intimacy (e.g. washing the other's hair, taking a bath together, sharing food)

ah, I love this question! for Elentari and Miraak's first act of non-sexual intimacy, I'm tempted to say it comes shortly after they escape Apocrypha. he sleeps a long time after his resurrection—two weeks, really snorking those mimis—and she spends a lot of this time sitting at his bedside, guarding him as fiercely as a dragon does its treasure. in fact, how about I let her tell you about it? 😼

She swears to herself that she won’t reach out for him, not even when his brows furrow and his clawed fingernails dig into the embroidered quilt. It’s too dangerous, knowing what she wants and yet can’t allow herself to have. Her dragon soul and her mortal heart are both greedy things, after all, and neither will be sated with just one gesture of tenderness. She’ll stay still, or sit on her own hands if need be, but she won’t do anything more than watch and make sure he’s safe this first night—and then he starts to toss his head and thrash, straining away from something or straining towards it, and before she can finish damning herself for it, her fingers are twining in his hair. “Drem, Dovahkiin,” she murmurs as she brushes spun-gold strands from his burning forehead, as she undoes his tangled braids and combs them smooth so gently that she doesn’t detect even the slightest wince, and as she discovers that his hair is so, so much softer than she could have imagined. “Nid faas het, zu’u kaat. It’s not real, whatever you’re seeing. It might have been once, but you’re not there now, no matter how much it feels like it. You’re here with me, safe with me, in the Fourth Era, and—” Despite herself, her fingers have drifted down to skim from his temple to the pale, thin scar slicing his cheekbone; they trace the length of it once, twice, as she wonders why he kept it, skilled mage that he is. “And I really would like for you to wake up and see it.” It could get a person drunk, this—this touching. Just as Elentari decides against intoxicating herself further and makes to pull away, his hand flies up out of nowhere and seizes hers. “’Sili.” She doesn’t dare breathe, healer’s excuse at the ready, but instead of waking and eyeing her like she’s some sort of madwoman—a not-inaccurate assessment given the circumstances, she can’t help but think—he folds his fingers between hers, snaring her as surely as if in any spell, and sighs, “Stay.” And whatever his dreams are, she can’t leave him to face them alone. So she stays, perched there on the chair with her hand in his, until the hearthglow dims to embers that limn the places their fingers meet in muted molten candle-gold, like sunlight, like cleansing fire.

U. first pet-names/nicknames they give each other

this is where I rub my hands together like a mischievous raccoon—because of the Time Nonsense™️ I like to play around with, this one has two possible answers!

in the Fourth Era, Miraak calls Elentari dii rinisil or rinisili not long after they meet. he intentionally mistranslates or implies that it means "the equal to my soul", but she soon enough realises that it actually means "my same-soul", which feels like a totally different thing. they have a lot of pet names for one another (they're disgusting.), but this one gets a lot of use.

meanwhile, in the Merethic Era, Miraak (who isn't yet Miraak at this point) meets her in a dream and calls her kundruniik, or "light-bringer", since he doesn't know her actual name and won't learn it for thousands of years. you could say that this is the first name she was ever gven, way before her parents ever named her Elentari.

(also, in the Merethic Era, Ellie is the first to use rinisili for him, though Fourth Era Miraak doesn't remember that until she restores his memories to him...)

‼️ free space! tell us about a notable "first" in your writing journey!

answered here!

[formulax]

a call, where nothing in particular is really resolved: a first person present tense venture into sibling dynamics

I come to the realization, after a few rounds of ringing, that I am calling my sister. I come to the realization also that it was somehow an automatic response to look for her number in my phone, out of everyone else I could have possibly called. Why not call Claire? It is something I don’t immediately understand—and then I realize, I know Claire can’t help me here. Only Jenny Monroe can help me here, which is a sentence I did not expect to think to myself anytime soon.

It takes a moment for Jenny to pick up the phone. It’s nearing ten o’clock at night, and I don’t know how late she stays up. So I lean forward, bounce my leg, and wait.

“Chris, is everything okay?” She picks up. Her voice is tired, but forming a nervous tone that seems to wake her up just enough. “Is something wrong? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s—don’t worry. Don’t freak out,” I say. The words stumble ungracefully from my mouth. “I’m just... calling.”

There is a pause. “Why?”

“I’m alone in the... I don’t know. Lauren’s out with friends. I don’t know.” It’s hard to vocalize what I want; I hardly even know what I want.

I hear a sigh, and then some rustling. “Okay. I’ll go to the living room. Kevin’s out like a light,” she says. She doesn’t seem irritated, but it’s hard for me to tell.

“Did I wake you up?” I ask, pulling at a stray thread on my pajama bottoms.

“No, I wasn’t sleeping yet. Mom sent a text about me hosting the next party.” Here, her voice drops. I huff, intentionally audible, and roll my eyes. Jenny clicks her tongue in disapproval. “Don’t do that, Chris. I know we’re not letting them boss us around, but mom has arthritis, she can’t cook and host like she used to. I still want to be nice.”

“You hate cooking,” I remind her, my eyebrows raised. I lean back on the couch, put my feet up on the coffee table. “You always start yelling at people when you cook.”

“Kevin tells me that every time too. Am I really that bad?”

“And you get a little insane when you host.”

“What—what does that mean?”

I find a memory immediately, and pull it forward. I have been sitting on it for a while, as one of my best Jenny stories. “I remember once, you shoved a drink into my hand and told me to have fun or else you’d fucking kill me.”

“I don’t... remember that.”

I grin, and laugh. “You probably blacked out,” I joke. Jenny doesn’t laugh, and we sit in silence for a few seconds. My smile fades. “Jen? Should I not have brought it up?”

“Oh, no, I—I just—I’m sorry I said that,” she mutters. I get the sense that she is not ready to joke about herself, not totally. I’m not sure I’d be ready to joke about myself, either. I scramble for my next words.

“Look—do what you want, but don’t let mom guilt trip you into doing something that will make you upset. Marnie can host the party. Or Sam. I could go on,” I tell her, recalling our similar-aged cousins.

“Have you seen the newest pictures of Marnie’s twins? I can’t believe they’re six now! I’ll—I’ll email them to you.” Jenny swerves the conversation, and for a moment I consider bringing it back. But I see no reason to keep pushing, and so, I let it go.

“I would love to see the newest JCPenney photoshoot pictures of cousin Marnie’s twins. I love seeing the annoyed looks on their little six year old faces, in their corny little coordinated outfits. It’s adorable,” I drone, smiling again. This time, Jenny lets out a chuckle.

“Shut up. They’re cute kids.”

“Right, right.” I shift again, to lay down on the couch. I stare at the ceiling, and start to notice my eyes drifting to one side. I grunt. “Shit.”

“What?”

I take off my glasses, and close my eyes as the full tilting effect hits me. “Vertigo, I moved too fast,” I groan, kicking my foot in defeat.

“Shit.” I can sense Jenny’s urge to speak through the phone. Just as I open my mouth to let her, she gives in. “Have you still not figured out anything that works for you? I thought Claire was supposed to—”

“Hey, hey, Jen. I’m fine. I’m getting better. She’s hooked me up with a type of physical therapy, and I think it’s helping. I...” I hesitate, not sure if I want to admit this quite yet. I sigh. “I might start thinking about driving soon.”

I get the reaction I just about expected. “What? Really? Are you sure? I mean—you haven’t driven in—and your vertigo, it’s—are you sure?” I can picture her biting her nails and frowning. I can also picture, of course, the same carnage she is picturing.

“I’m just thinking about thinking about it, don’t get too nervous, okay? I’d need to do lessons and tests, et cetera,” I try to reassure her. She pauses to think.

“...Okay.” I smile. She has changed a lot. “But I know you hate driving. You always hated driving.”

“No,” I correct her, “I hated driving with dad.”

“God, right.” Jenny huffs. “Why is it that our conversations always find their way back to our parents? We’ve got to have more in common than the people who raised us. At some point, passing these stories back and forth doesn't make me feel better anymore. Just worse. I don’t know about you.” Jenny speaks here with a determined anger, pronouncing words with harsh snaps. But then, she lets out a breath, and she softens. “Chris, why did you call me? Just for this?”

I open my eyes. The vertigo has passed. “I told you, I don’t really know. I just called. I’m waiting for Lauren to get home,” I say, frowning. But there is something more, I know it. I am reaching for something. For what? I grind my teeth as I try to search for it.

“Is it about Lauren? Are you nervous about her? Where is she?” Jenny’s questions are monotone, methodical, but she is asking them too quickly, and I can tell she’s unnerved.

“I... she’s driving around with friends. I want—I want her to come home. I want her to be home,” I say, laying a hand over my chest. My breaths grow shallow, and my eyes water. And suddenly, I have found the thing I was looking for, the missing emotion, the cause of my unrest. “Do you ever get that?”

“Oh.” Jenny pauses to sigh; it’s a heavy, burdened sigh. “Oh, Christopher, of course I get that. Do you know how hard it is not to call her, every hour, every day? She used to be just a room away.”

I inhale and wipe my eyes, before I let myself get any worse. “She’s having fun, I—I can’t just make her come back,” I reason, pausing for a response, for instructions. Jenny hums.

“No, you shouldn’t.”

“But when she’s not here, when I can’t see her, it feels like the end of the world!” Despite my vertigo, I have a sudden urge to stand; I obey it, and begin to pace and wave my free hand. “I’ve been trying to distract myself since she left, and I just—I can’t! I’m alone, in this house, and I can’t do anything but sit and wait, and drive myself insane, because when she’s not with me she’s not... with me!”

“Okay, Chris,” Jenny slows her voice into something calm and motherly, “you’re going to be okay. Both of you are going to be okay.”

“Jenny, don’t—” I laugh anxiously and bring a hand to my face, “don’t therapy me. Please. I am perfectly aware that I’m being irrational.”

“Well—” Jenny is trying hard, I can tell, not to get frustrated. “Well, Christopher, I’m not sure what else you want me to say, I mean...”

“You don’t need to fix it,” I shout, anxiety stirring my heart. I am aware on some level how ungraceful I’m acting, but the stress is pulling my filters down, and the regret comes after. I pinch the bridge of my nose and curse. “Sorry. Maybe I should hang up.”

“No—Chris, it’s fine. We can keep talking. You can keep talking.”

It’s an offer I didn’t expect from her, and for a few moments I can only be stunned. Every day, I find myself surprised by the human capacity for change. It’s a corny thought, but a true one nonetheless. And so, I say something cornier. Something that surprises me, about myself.

“I love you,” I say, and then I slump back onto the couch. I get nervous, embarrassed; I don’t want to let it hang for too long, don’t want to turn it into something significant, so I keep talking. My face is hot. The words spill out. “I feel so selfish, I feel like a bad parent, when I get like this. And I’ve been getting like this a lot since she’s gone back to school, it’s—it’s not even that I’m overly afraid of her getting hurt, or in some kind of trouble, I just... want to see her, I want to be in the same room with her, I want to know that she’s there and I don’t ever want her to leave and it makes me feel sick because I don’t want to be mom and dad, I don’t want to hover and suffocate and—and be so obsessed like they were but god, Jennifer, my chest feels so tight and I can’t breathe sometimes and I was away for so long and I have this need, this unrelenting, terrible need to be as close as possible or else I’ll fucking explode! God... dammit!”

I slump forward and drag a hand down my face as I pause to breathe. The other line is silent, for a few more seconds, but I don’t pay any mind to her silence. I let myself cry.

And then: “You’re not mom and dad.” It’s a quiet, hesitant statement, but Jenny’s tone rises easily. “You told me not to fix it, but you’re just not... mom and dad. And I’m only saying it because you’re being fucking stupid. And I love you, too.”

My body tenses, and something bubbles up to my throat, and then I let out a horrid, sudden cackle. I double over, hanging my head, and I laugh.

“Hey!” she snaps at me. “What’s so funny about that? What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t—” I stomp my foot and cover my mouth. “I don’t know!”

“Stop fucking laughing you asshole—” She begins to giggle. “I’m being nice to you!”

“I know!” I force out some breaths. “It just feels so weird! Why am I calling you?”

“I don’t know, why did you call me?”

“Because you’re my sister, and—” I snort, “and I love you!”

Both of us burst into another round of violent laughter. My side begins to hurt, and I return to a sprawled out position on the couch. As I laugh, the bottled nervous energy drains from me, finding a new home as sound waves from my now-hoarse voice, bouncing around the dimly lit living room.

“Chris—Chris,” Jenny manages, finally. “Again, we’re back to goddamn mom and dad.”

I realize she’s right, and I scoff. “They haunt the dark recesses of our minds, Jen, of course we’re back to mom and dad,” I say, voice flat. I kick my feet up on the couch’s armrest.

“Well, I’m just saying, as someone who ended up parenting too much like them, I know what you’re saying. I think. In a way, but...”

“Alright. Am I fucked up?”

“Oh thoroughly.”

I smile. “Thanks, Jen.”

“For—for what?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, settling further into the couch. There’s a warmth in my chest, a cheesy fuzziness that makes me chuckle to myself again. The phone is quiet against my ear. I can tell she’s smiling too.

“I just want you to know, that this whole call is fucking disgusting.”

“Oh, it’s so gross.” I mock-gag. “Ew, feelings, let’s talk about cousin Marnie and her twins again in their little matching six year old outfits.”

“And her useless fucking husband,” Jenny spits, “that never lifts a fucking finger.”

I gasp and sit up. “Wait—what? Scott? I thought we liked Scott!”

“We do not fucking like Scott.”

“What happened, he was doing so good!”

“Weaponized. Incompetence.”

“Elaborate.”

[uwu-berryfaerie]

Sara vs. Night Swan (POV, angst fic)

Fandom: Just Dance

Rating: T

Characters: Sara, Night Swan, Jack Rose

Relationships: Night Swan/Jack Rose

Tags: Alternate universe, Hurt/Comfort, POV Sara, POV Night Swan, Fainting, Unconsciousness, Healing, Redemption, Son taking care of mother, Angst, Concussion, Post-concussion syndrome

POV: Sara

Sara felt a knot well up in her stomach as she backed up to her friends comforting her, realizing the extent of how powerful Night Swan was. Breathing heavily, Night Swan won't back down until she wins that match, gazing straight ahead with hate and anger in her eyes. "You won't break me," Night Swan growled, bobbing and weaving in an attempt to land a hit on Sara. "I'll show you who's boss!" At that moment, Sara felt a sharp, quick scratching sensation on her cheeks, only for her to reach up to touch the wound and can see blood oozing down her fingers, leaving her physically shaking. You would've thought it was something the human girl could control, but she couldn't. Shouting, Sara charged straight toward Night Swan, bashing her hard in the head with her fist. The power-hungry witch barely stood steadily as her dark magic drained, sinking to her knees before her body hit the ground. Sara felt an immense joy building up inside her as her friends, Wanderlust, Mihaly, Brezziana, Jack Rose, and Discoball, stood beside her and felt that unmatched excitement. However, it all came to a halt when Jack exclaimed in shock and ran over to an unconscious Night Swan. The rest of the team caught up to him, looking worried as he tried to wake up his sleeping mother. Sara, who felt a sense of justice over looking after one of her friends, told the rest of the gang to check on all of the coaches who were formerly Night Swan's minions. Sara crouched down to Jack's level to see a scared look on his face as he tried every one of his instincts to wake up his mother, even resorting to lightly shaking her by the shoulders while her head rested on his lap. With a tone of urgency, Sara talked it out to Jack for a few moments and proceeded to rush into her bedroom. As Sara stood next to Jack, laying his mother down on her bed and making her comfortable as possible, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him because Jack's mother was the one who always wanted him to be perfect. "Are you gonna be okay in here?" she asked Jack out of concern. Jack nodded slightly and said, "It's okay, relax. All of this happens way too fast." Jack gave himself a moment to collect his thoughts while watching over his mother as Sara walked out of the room and looked out the door. While she watched, she felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She knew that she beat Night Swan intentionally, and even though it may have been self-defense or an act of justice, she still couldn't help but feel like she did something wrong. Sara could barely stop herself from crying, looking at Night Swan out the door then her hands, feeling the guilt of being the person who knocked her out. "I shouldn't have hit her. I didn't mean to knock her out, it was just a reflex," she thought to herself as she desperately tried to make sure her actions were justified. As Wanderlust, Brezziana, Mihaly, and Discoball ran back to Sara, she felt a sense of relief wash over her. Thus, she and her friends returned inside the room. But, after seeing Night Swan apologize to Jack and vowing to become a better mother, they were hesitant at first, but delighted she had finally learned her lesson. When Night Swan closed her eyes again, Sara apologized to Jack one more time, for the regret of having his mother unconscious at the end of the fight. Jack accepted, and allowed her opponent to rest for a little while longer.

POV: Night Swan

The adrenaline fades away upon the battle's end as the last thing Night Swan sees before her body hits the ground is an overjoyed Sara and her friends switching to instant concern. As Night Swan was just about to drift away, she could barely see the sight of his son, Jack Rose, rushing over to her in a panic. She was yet to hear his voice as she slipped into an unconsciousness that wouldn't let her wake up. Night Swan could feel that the ground under her was smooth, cold, and hard on her belly and the left side of her face. Her ears picked up soft, distant voices, but she wasn't sure what they were saying, as if they were coming from outside a cave. Finally, Night Swan regained a familiar sense of touch from her son, who tried to shake his injured mother awake by her shoulders. All she could remember of the fight was seeing that blue-haired girl give her a blow to the head. Taking a chance, Night Swan wearily cracked her eyes open before snapping them shut again, only to see a different world and a familiar silhouette staring at her before settling herself back into a deep sleep. She let out an undignified groan and slowly opened her eyes again, wincing in pain as her vision came back to her. The only thing the sorceress could make out was her dimly-lit bedroom and her son kneeling by her bedside. It wasn't often that Night Swan saw herself as a weaker individual, and this was no exception. Her head hurted all over after her opponent's attack, and she could hardly move it, causing her to roll over on her sides toward Jack. After staring at him to give herself a few moments to comprehend who he was, Night Swan spouted in a meek voice. "I'm sorry, Jack..." she weakly apologizes to her son for not being a supportive mother over her son's dreams of being a celebrity, but using him as a red-hand man to help her create an army of what she imagined. "I didn't mean it to come off so bad," Jack softly replied to his mother as he leaned over and placed his head on her pillow. "It's okay, darling," Night Swan tells her son as she strokes the back of his neck while yawning affectionately. Jack sighs heavily before placing his hand around his mother's arm and holding her close. As silence falls, Night Swan speaks. "I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive, Jack...of your dreams." She gives him an apologetic smile before continuing. "But I promise I'll be here for you now," she finishes gently, reaching out to touch his cheek lightly with her claws. In what seemed like only minutes, Sara returned into the room, accompanied by the others, their faces filled with concern as they assessed Night Swan's condition. Fighting back tears at seeing how much her son cared for her, Night Swan weakly apologized to Jack before telling him she'll be there for him now, pledging support for everything he does in life from then on out. As fatigue kicks in once more, Night Swan lets herself fall into another peaceful sleep knowing that things would finally be alright.

[taviokapudding]

*sighs tiredly* It’s 3am

I caught my mom talking to herself when she could’ve turned on the light switch to locate the bathroom in her room or the hallway- she literally smacks, rubs, and crawls at the walls since 2:40 am, all while loudly talking to herself just below yelling. So I have to get her attention by yelling at her and slamming my bedroom door after she ignores me trying to help her (for 10 minutes prior) because she’s listening to the voices in her heard instead of me. So now that I got her attention and may have woken her up from semi- sleep walking by using the loud noise to snap her back to reality. I help her locate the bathroom (where she continues to not turn the light on), I realized she hadn’t flushed nor washed her hands. So I stop her, turn on the light, and showed her how, right?

But as she dries her hands, she takes the hand towel I use to dry my hands and face, and wipes the urine off her meat flaps. So I stop her and try to get her to wipe herself with toilet paper asking “did you wipe? Did you clean yourself?” And instead of being honest, she bolts and steals the toilet paper roll, and then slams her bedroom door so I have to use my body strength to get her to free the door and talk to me.

And instead of giving me an answer, she throws the toilet paper back in my face and starts crying because she blames me for getting pushed by the door that wouldn’t have touched her in the first place had she not slammed it at me and attempted to hold in place to avoid answering a basic question about her hygiene. She’s bolted the door shut with furniture before just because, how was I supposed to know she was behind the door if she refuses to talk nor answer me?

After yelling at me about being a terrible daughter, she hops into her bed and starts wailing about how she can’t leave the house and how I control everything she does

SHE DIDN’T FLUSH, WIPE, AND WASH - I literally cannot take her anywhere because her memory resets every 2 hrs so if she forgets who I am in public and claims I kidnap her (which has happened before) I have to avoid law enforcement getting called (again) AND IT IS 3AM WHERE TF ARE WE GOING TO GO???

I have to remind myself my mother’s mental state is horrendous and she doesn’t understand but archons, she literally stopped crying after my dad spoke to her- it was literal crocodile tears just to wake him up and force him to talk to her since she can’t sleep (she can but is mentally stubborn and choose to mentally fight her medication off intentionally so it fucks up her sleep cycle and throws her into sleep walking)

She could have spoken to me because I stay up until 3am for her and she knows this - she can’t form new memories every 2hrs at times but she knows I am basically her maid and has exploited it many times in the past - she can do many things but makes me do it because she knows that if she cries my dad will get angry at me and she likes to pick fights.

I know she always hates me (even before the dementia) and warps her schizophrenia symptoms into thinking everything she does is actually me doing it but m a n. My dad is tired and so am I, if senior care wasn’t hell here in the US & doubly since the pandemic started, I’d at least let her socialize at a senior center every day and pick her up in the evening.

[im-no-jedi]

MLWTBB: Business Is Business

aka the (continued) journey into my self insert nonsense✨

chapter summary: the Bad Batch return to Ord Mantell and discover Cid’s Parlor has been taken over by Roland Durand, and by proximity, Hannah as well. Cid comes up with a plan to take back the parlor that includes Hannah’s help, but a visit from the Pyke Syndicate complicates things...

notes: this is a continuation of my story, “My Life With The Bad Batch”; I highly recommend reading that first before this one! I created a few new planets for this story. I’m also not 100% versed in SW terminology, so forgive me if some things are labeled incorrectly! each chapter will be rated accordingly, as opposed to the overall fic. lastly, there is romance in this story. hope you enjoy! 💙

add. notes: this chapter was edited and proofread by my sis @jam-n-ham! thanks sis!! 😋💙

Chapter 2, 3900+ words, rated T (for gun violence and alcohol, you know, stuff from the episode 😝)

previous chapters: Chapter 1

next chapter

✨MLWTBB masterlist✨  

______________________________________________________________

The next several days were absolute torture. Word quickly got out about the new management at Cid’s Parlor, which significantly upped its popularity. Hannah now not only had to contend with her sleazy new boss, but an increase in work as well. She barely found time to even sit before something or someone needed her attention. Every morning, she would wake up and hope with all her heart that she would walk into the parlor and the boys would be there to whisk her away. And every night, she would go to her apartment and cry herself to sleep. She didn’t know how much more she could take.

One particularly busy day, Hannah discovered that they’d run out of an ingredient in Roland’s favorite mixed drink. She insisted on being the one to go shop for it as an excuse to get out of the parlor. Roland thankfully agreed to it, and Hannah intentionally took her time to shop for what she needed. Somehow, the dirty streets of Ord Mantell were more welcoming than the place she basically lived in.  

Of course, her thoughts drifted to her friends once again, the people who had become her adopted family. She could just picture them swooping in on the Marauder and beckoning her to fly away with them, like she had done the first day she met them back on Astreon. She missed them so much, her chest physically ached, and it took everything in her to not cry on the way back to the parlor.

As Hannah reached the stairs leading to the parlor, she crossed paths with some people she was very surprised to see. Approaching her were three Pykes, who had just exited the parlor. She had never seen Pykes in person before, but she knew all about them. Mostly that they were the kind of people you didn’t want to get in trouble with. She gave them a wide berth as they came up the stairs and waited until they were out of sight before even attempting to go down the stairs herself. She had no idea why Pykes were in the parlor, and she was pretty sure she didn’t want to find out either.

The parlor was as busy as ever once Hannah got back into it. She quickly got to work making a drink for Roland, as she knew he would inevitably ask for one. Sure enough, she heard Roland call out from the back room, as he had been doing ever since taking over the parlor. The drink was quickly finished, and Hannah rushed over to the room to bring it to her boss.

The sight she was met with nearly made her drop the drink, and she let out a gasp. Standing in the room, along with several of Roland’s men, were five familiar persons; four adult men clad in black and red armor, and a young girl with short blonde hair. It was them - it was her family.

The five seemed equally surprised to see Hannah as she was to see them. Omega immediately exclaimed her friend’s name, which made Hannah nearly burst into tears. Hannah looked at each of them, a similar expression of shock on each of their faces. Her eyes ultimately landed on Hunter, who looked back at her in desperation. She wanted so badly to run into his arms and beg him to take her away from there, but she held back.

The moment was interrupted by Roland, who once again asked for his drink. Barely able to breathe, Hannah managed to pull herself together and walked over to Roland, who was seated behind Cid’s desk at the back of the room. Omega reached out for Hannah as she walked by, but to no avail.

“Ahh, yet another masterpiece,” Roland said after taking a sip of his drink. “You really are my best asset, dollface,” he said to Hannah smugly.  

Hunter visibly tensed up, balling his hands into fists; it looked like he was about to lunge at Roland. But Hannah gave him a look, begging him with her eyes to not start anything.

“If there’s nothing else you all need,” Roland started, clearly addressing the Bad Batch. “Then kindly leave my office. I have business to attend to.”

Everyone looked to Hunter, who was still visibly scowling at Roland. Hannah gave him another look, this time silently begging him to go. As much she wanted to go with them, Hannah knew it would be better for them to just leave while they had the chance. The pained look in Hunter’s eyes nearly broke her heart as he told the others it was time to leave. He had to practically drag Omega out of the room. Hannah could feel herself shaking as they all left.

“Well, I certainly didn’t figure you the kind to befriend mercenaries,” Roland said to Hannah after the Batch had left. “Much less disgraced former Republic troopers.”

Like Hunter had done before, Hannah balled her hands into fists, wanting nothing more than to slug Roland in the face. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

Roland snickered. “Something to look forward to in the future, I guess.”

She had heard enough. Hannah huffed and stormed out of the room, barely holding back her tears. As she stepped behind the counter of the bar, a small figure caught the corner of her eye. Omega was standing in the doorway at the bottom of the stairs. The two girls shared a sorrowful look before Omega was beckoned away by one of the boys. Hannah could no longer hide her tears and sunk to the floor, quietly sobbing to herself behind the counter.

*****************************

“We can’t just leave her there!” Omega exclaimed desperately. She did her best to keep up with her brothers as they all began walking back to their ship.

“Yeah!” Wrecker added.

“We’re not going to,” Hunter reassured them. “Once the parlor closes for the night, I’m going to her apartment to get her.”

“It’s extremely likely that man has guards posted at her apartment,” Tech pointed out.

“Then I’ll sneak in,” Hunter replied sternly. “Whatever it takes to get her out of there. We’ll bring her with us.”

“To where?” Echo asked.

“I don’t know yet. But we’re getting off Ord Mantell. Tech, prep the ship. The rest of us will gather supplies.”

The others looked away solemnly. They had gotten used to Cid’s place and didn’t want to have to leave it, but everyone knew that Hunter was right in wanting to leave.  

Everyone except for Omega.

“What about Cid?” she asked her brothers. “What did that guy mean when he said she was ‘out’?”

“Given his tone,” Tech began to reply. “It is a plausible assumption that Cid was either forced out or taken out.”

Omega didn’t like the sound of that. She ran in front of the boys, stopping them in their tracks. “We have to find her and help her!”

Before any of the boys could respond, they all heard a familiar voice clear their throat. Standing in the door to the Marauder was Cid, her arms crossed as she leaned against the doorframe. “Nice to see one of you cares.” She gestured inside of the ship, basically ordering them inside.

As the Batch stepped inside the ship, Cid stopped Hunter abruptly. “Where’s Red?”

“Still at the parlor,” Hunter replied solemnly. “She looked miserable.”

“Poor girl,” Cid replied, shaking her head. “I expect you to get her outta that hellhole, Bandana.”

“Believe me, you don’t even have to ask.”

“Oh, I wasn’t askin’.”

Hunter managed a smirk, pleasantly surprised that Cid seemed as concerned about Hannah as the rest of them were.

A discussion was then had about what to do next, including Cid telling the others everything she knew about Roland and why he had basically stolen her parlor from her. Cid had a plan for how to get her parlor back, which included getting Hannah’s help. Hunter didn’t like the idea of her getting involved, but Cid insisted that Hannah would agree to it, even going so far as to berate Hunter and tell him to “have some faith in your girl.” Omega agreed as well, which meant that Hunter definitely had to relent now. That didn’t make him any less worried though...

*******************************

A bit later, after Hannah had taken some time to calm down, two familiar figures came walking into the parlor. It was Bolo and Ketch. They hadn’t come to the parlor at all since Roland had taken over, and Hannah was overjoyed to see them. And to her delight, the first thing they did was come over to see her and order some drinks. Hannah happily got to work making their order, but she noticed something was a bit off about the both of them, almost like they were trying to hide something.

As Hannah brought their drinks over, Bolo and Ketch thanked her, to which she responded by saying how nice it was to see them again. Bolo scanned the room to see if anybody was watching them before returning the sentiment. He nudged Ketch, who began digging into his pockets to pay for the drinks, but Hannah insisted they were on the house. Ketch refused, saying they couldn’t possibly accept such a generous offer.  

Now Hannah knew something was up. Bolo and Ketch never passed up an opportunity for free drinks.

Ketch took a moment to scan the room again before sliding some credits over to Hannah for the drinks. Immediately, Hannah noticed something unusual sitting underneath the money, but didn’t say anything.

“Here’s the cash,” Ketch said. “Plus, a little something extra.” He winked at Hannah, then nodded to Bolo, who took his drink to another table. Ketch also walked away, sitting down at one of the benches with his drink and a bag of Mantell Mix he’d brought into the parlor with him.

Hannah cautiously swiped the money into her hand and looked at what Ketch had put underneath it. She found a small folded up note and casually turned around so no one would notice her read it. The note was from Cid, which nearly made her gasp. It read, “Need a distraction. Keep Roland occupied. The boys and I are getting the parlor back.” Hannah clutched the note to her chest, fearful of anyone seeing it, before discreetly shoving it into one of her pockets. Then she turned back to see Bolo staring at her expectantly. Hannah quickly scanned the room before giving Bolo a wink and a nod. At that, Bolo quickly finished his drink before giving a thumbs-up to Ketch and leaving the parlor.

The plan was officially in motion.

Hannah took a deep breath, put on her best fake smile, and casually walked to the back room, knocking on the door. “Roland? You busy?”

The door slid open almost immediately. Roland was still seated at his desk, petting Ruby. “Not too busy for you. What is it, dollface?”

It was taking all of Hannah’s strength to not cringe, but the act she was putting on helped with that. “Well, I know how you’ve been wanting to make things more exciting around here, so I’ve been brainstorming some new drink ideas and was wondering if you wanted to test them out. You know, since you’re such a good judge of these kinds of things.”

Roland quirked an eyebrow at her and smirked. “Oh really? Why the sudden interest in my approval?”

“Oh, I just figured it was about time for us to make amends,” Hannah lied, doing her best to sound genuine. “Don’t wanna bring the business down after all. Plus...” She coyly tucked her hair behind her ear. “We haven’t really gotten to know each other that well yet. With how highly everyone out here speaks about you, I must be missing something.”

Thankfully, Roland’s ego was stronger than his intuition, and he gladly accepted Hannah’s offer. She immediately got to work pulling out different bottles and using what knowledge she had about each flavor of drink to try and put together something Roland might like.  

For what felt like hours, she was asking questions about Roland and trying to get him to talk about himself as much as possible. If nothing else, she knew that Roland’s favorite topic of discussion was himself.  

“And that’s how I single handedly got an entire group of Ugnauts to join my operation without question,” Roland said, completing his reiteration of one of his many tales.

“Once again,” Hannah said, acting impressed. “You never disappoint.” She finished mixing up another drink and slid it over to Roland.

“If only my mother could hear you say that,” Roland responded before taking a sip of the drink. “Hmm, could use a bit more zest in this one.”

“Noted,” Hannah said, taking the drink back from Roland. “And what do you mean by that other comment? I thought you said your mother approved of what you were doing.”

“Oh, she does. In fact, she thinks it's wonderful that I’m finally doing something with my life. As if I haven’t up until this point...”

Ahh. Mother issues. Of course. Everything made sense now.

“Well,” Hannah said, mixing up the newly fixed drink and handing it back to Roland. “For what it’s worth, I think you’ve made a very impressive mark on this place. Cid could never get the place this busy. I’m sure everyone will be coming here to meet with you.” She leaned her elbows on the counter and rested her chin in her hands, coyly staring at Roland. He was definitely buying the scam she was putting on.

“That’s the idea,” Roland said, swirling his drink around a bit. “Just you wait. Soon, you’ll be mixing up drinks for some of the biggest names in the galaxy, sweetheart.” He snickered. “Too bad Uncle Vinny isn’t around to see it.”

Hannah’s eyes practically popped out of her head and she felt her heart stop for a moment. Did... did he just say what she thought he said?

“W-who?” she hesitantly asked, barely able to hold herself together.

“My uncle,” Roland replied after taking a sip of his drink. “He was a bigshot businessman; had his toes dipped in all kinds of places, including the Empire. I personally always thought he was a bit too big for his britches, if you catch my drift. Ended up getting himself killed on a business trip a couple months ago, the poor fool.” He snickered again. “My mother was definitely not happy about it though, I’ll say that.”

As Roland was talking, Hannah had turned away from him, pretending like she was cleaning some cups so he wouldn’t notice how pale she had gone in the face. Of all people to take over Cid’s Parlor, it had to be Vin’s kriffing nephew. No wonder Roland reminded her so much of Vin. At least she had managed to get on Roland’s good side right off the bat. It was going to be very hard to even look at him from now on though.

After a bit longer of talking with Roland, Hannah noticed Ketch stand up out of the corner of her eye. He was still munching on his Mantell Mix and seemed to be making his way out of the parlor. She then noticed he was discreetly dropping pieces of food on the ground near Ruby, who was sitting on the stool next to Roland. The small lizard creature was immediately drawn to the food and began following the trail Ketch was leaving behind, which led up the stairs and out of the parlor. Hannah silently began questioning the viability of Cid’s plan because of this, but continued keeping up the act so Roland wouldn’t notice Ruby was gone.

Unfortunately, Roland was more attached to his little pet than Hannah anticipated. It didn’t take long for him to notice Ruby’s disappearance and immediately demanded that his men go looking for her. Hannah did her best to encourage Roland, saying that she couldn’t have gotten far and that she was sure Ruby was fine, but Roland was still visibly upset. It was genuinely shocking to see Roland caring about something other than himself for once. Then again, almost every single time she’d seen Roland that week, he’d had Ruby either in his arms or on his lap. And Ruby always returned the love, never letting anyone else near her without hissing or running away. It was touching, in its own weird way. At least Roland had that going for him unlike his super selfish uncle...

After some time, the armored men returned, informing Roland that the search for Ruby was unsuccessful, so Roland decided to take matters into his own hands. Hannah insisted he stay in the parlor to let his men do their job, but Roland was stubborn and left before Hannah had a chance to stop him. It was out of her hands now. She could only hope that whatever Bolo and Ketch were doing would be enough for Cid and the boys to enact their plan, whatever it was.

More time passed, and eventually, Roland came back with Ruby in tow, cooing at her and saying how they would “catch those two and kill them”, whatever that meant. Hannah expressed how nice it was to see Ruby back again, only half lying this time. Roland then said he was going back to his office and informed Hannah that if any Pykes showed up, to not worry about it and point them in his direction. Things were starting to click into place now for Hannah. She nodded to Roland, assuring him that she would do exactly as he asked.

Roland could be heard still cooing at Ruby even from the hallway. Worry began to wash over Hannah, as she desperately hoped that nothing unusual would be waiting in the back room.

PEW!

Hannah practically flew into the air in shock. She rushed over to the hallway, looked around the corner, and saw that the lock for the door had been blasted. She then heard Roland exclaim from inside the room, “The spice! It’s gone!”

Spice? That’s what he was keeping in there? Even more things were clicking into place, and Hannah grew more worried. She could hear Roland calling for more of his men to come into the room and “go after them” in an almost frantic tone. Hannah clutched her chest, realizing what was going on. Cid’s plan really was as crazy as she thought it was. And there was nothing else Hannah could do to help. All she could do now was wait.

She didn’t have to wait long for something to happen. Two of Roland’s men came into the parlor with Bolo and Ketch in tow, their hands raised above their heads. Hannah gasped and watched as they were shoved towards the back room. She couldn’t keep herself from following this time. From the hallway, she could hear Roland demanding to know everything and why they had stolen Ruby. It was all over from there. Hannah knew Bolo and Ketch were too cowardly to lie to someone like Roland. If they survived this, she was definitely going to berate them later for it.

Then suddenly, Hannah felt a presence approach her from behind - three presences, actually. She turned to look and audibly gasped at the sight of three Pykes standing directly behind her.

“Where is Roland Durand?” one of the Pykes asked her. He was completely monotone, but Hannah still felt entirely intimidated by him. She pulled herself together enough to answer, directing them around the corner. As the three Pykes walked past her, Hannah felt a chill down her spine. Just their very presence intimidated her beyond explanation.

Less than a minute later, Bolo and Ketch came out of the room, being shoved away by one of Roland’s men. She gave them a worried look as they were led away, but her attention was drawn to the office now more than ever. The door was shut, but Hannah could still hear through it, her face pressed up against the frame.

“I said you’ll get your money,” she heard Roland saying. There was a nervous hitch to his voice she had never heard before. “I suggest you go back to Oba Diah and wait.”

“You are out of your depth, Durand,” said one of the Pykes. It sounded like the same one who had addressed Hannah before. “Either you correct this grave mistake, or you and your entire family will experience what pain truly feels like.” The Pyke still spoke in monotone, but Hannah could just sense Roland quaking in his shoes from the other side of the door.  

Everything suddenly went silent. Hannah pressed her ear further against the door to try and make out any noise, but to no avail. She didn’t realize her elbow was so close to the door panel before it was too late. The door suddenly slid open, and Hannah practically stumbled into the office. All eyes were on her now, including that of the three Pykes.

“How disappointing,” the head Pyke said. “To think you would set spies on us despite our previous arrangements... you continue to wear out our patience, Durand.” The two other Pykes then pulled out blasters and aimed them at Hannah, who gasped in terror and threw her hands up.

“Wait!” Roland exclaimed. “Don’t hurt her! She had nothing to do with this!” The head Pyke turned back towards Roland as he continued to speak. “Cid’s the one you want. She stole your spice. If you want it back, you need to look for her. And if anything, this woman might know where she is.”

The head Pyke turned towards Hannah again and slowly approached her. Hannah felt like running, but was too frozen with fear to move. “If you know where this Cid is,” the Pyke said to her. “I suggest you tell us.”

Hannah shook her head, her breath catching in her throat. “I don’t, I swear.” Normally, she would throw in some comment about how she would “never tell them even if she did know”, but she was far too intimidated to say anything further.

The Pyke stared Hannah down. It felt like he was peering into her very soul. She was absolutely terrified, but couldn’t look away from his gaze. He then turned to the other two Pykes, saying, “Take care of the parlor.” The others nodded and started to walk out of the room, past Hannah, who was still frozen in place. The head Pyke then grabbed Hannah by the arm, causing her to shriek. Roland reached out, as if trying to stop whatever was about to happen.

PEW! PEW! PEW!

Gunshots could be heard from outside the room. The armored men rushed out, their blasters at the ready. At first, Hannah thought maybe it was her friends returning from whatever they had been doing with Cid. But no, it was far too quiet for that.

Suddenly, one of the armored men cried out, collapsing on the ground in front of the doorway. Hannah gasped loudly, realizing the man was now dead, a blaster shot clearly sizzling in his chest. Roland began to step forward, but stopped when he realized the Pyke now had a gun pointed against Hannah’s back.  

“I wouldn’t,” the Pyke taunted in his signature monotone voice.  

Roland looked at the panic in Hannah’s eyes and backed off.

In any other instance, Hannah would’ve enjoyed seeing Roland in such a defeated state. But now, it was taking everything in her to not break down crying out of pure terror.

[essenceofhispenance]

The first 5 Asks to send 💋 get a kiss

@impercre ASKED: 💋 Kissy kissy for Feyd and Paul (1/5)

(PAUL)

These affairs happened deep within the sietch, in the heart of the community and in the safest of spaces. it needed to be thus because such affairs could never comply with the Great Silence. The introduction of new life only let a small group to its center. The mother and two midwives. It was more effect to give the body's holy water to the tribe for processing and in the unfortunate event of failure, mother and child could easily and quietly be transported to a deathstill. Practicality predominated these greater mysteries of new life. They said that little makers screamed as children do when they are first brought into the world. Though children as young and as fresh as her son do not know and are not expected to know of any discipline that comes with age, the return to their Yali was a rite unto itself. In that way, Chani was superstitious. as the rites said, if mother and child could walk back to the upper levels, to their Yali , and introduce the child to their partner without a sound, good fortune would follow. She had been determined to do as every mother she had seen do, walk barefoot and with grace homeward, giving the water of the sweat from her feet back to the earth to give to Shai Hulud in thanks for the safety of her birth. Slowly and carefully she carried her sleeping son up through the darkness of the sietch, pausing several times to keep clear of others and make sure not to wake her son. She even walked silently past Jessica, preventing any chance of her son being disturbed. she was so close now, almost home without a sound. She crossed the threshold with a decreased cadence as to prevent the hiss of the water seal on the door. it wasn't until she saw her man that she smiled and whispered, 'Our son is blessed. he will have good luck." She was proud and tired. she was a mess of herself, having left the safety of the deep sietch and the care of midwives to walk home in haste. She reached for him then, pulled him closer to see their son and kissed him square. "He is blessed beloved. "

(FEYD)

The first time she had let him take his 'right' as a husband it had been almost as awful as her first time with her Usul (and that had had the assistance of the waters of life to show destiny's way). Were all foreigners so rigid in their desires and love making? They had stopped fighting one another , the forms of their union demanded satisfaction. She was accepted as a wife. She did not feel like one. There was no ramifications to fear when there was no one left she cared for, but she was no longer a child, and forms had to be obeyed. it it may have been called a 'right' but it was more a gift given-- a truce of sorts. The stark difference was that she had made Usul interact with her as if to build language within their love. Little can I's and will you's that eventually worked out into a more enjoyable experience ( with time). The rigidity of it all was not lost in the lack of speech, no the man simply would not shut up. She had refused him the second time, shutting him out of the space provided. The forms were met, that was all. Two years would go by quickly and then she would enact her right to leave and-- the third time they simply talked, and he talked himself in circles. there was an edge to his speech, a sharp click that held something underneath. She thought his little tinges of mannerisms looked anxious as if he could never quite relax. the fourth time she let him stay the day, simply lying side by side, as if to understand what the soft sound of falling asleep was like. There were other moments in small hours, in between days that he was vying for his princess royal. If she was intentionally being wooed, she hardly knew it. She just expected him to come back, each time a little closer as if to work back to the first night of peace between them. She did not think of that peace. She thought only of this boy trying to fit into a man's skin, who was just as alone in this Keep as she was. She thought of ghosts whispered about as his head rested in her lap or the first time he properly tried to hold her hand. The Harkonnen beast was dead, but the pup survived. Did all pups grow into beasts? did they all become monsters? or did they simply grow into whatever conditions permitted them to? It was a man who held her hand in his, not a beast. the separation of fact from fiction only made her more nervous. She had unraveled more of him that he had of her, each ghost with its own story. He had lost much, too. Perhaps what had made this moment so sweet was that he had asked after her own ghosts. She could see it in that moment -- he had survived the war, too, and had come out simply as a man. He was simply human. She did not give up her ghosts, not yet. Not when the moment begged for life, lips pressed against lips as she fell into a second time with him.