#like she always gets intense crushes on ppl she can't have

[dolly-spit]

hhhh i'm finally watching helluva boss lmfao

[ame-to-ame]

there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them

[funky-fairy]

Lily, Remus and Pandora Headcanons (ridiculously long list)

they're my blorbos i would give my life for them. i project a lot onto remus and lily, so if anything is wildly out of character it's probably that

Lily

very kindhearted but also sarcasm queen

burnt out

Academic validation > real sense of self worth

needs external validation (no this is not healthy she's working on it)

better at potions than snivellus and he hates it hehehe

average at „regular“ magic (spells etc) but exceptional at „scienc-y magic“ (potions, arithmancy, astronomy, herbology etc) bc she's just that cool

plant mom (also green plants > flowers)

actually a rulebreaker, she’s just too smart to get caught

struggles to feel like she belongs: witch in the muggle world, muggle in the wizard world

study buddies to best friends with Remus

fav colours sage green and lavender

sorting hat couldn’t decide between gryffindor and ravenclaw at first

never involved in any drama but knows all about it

everyone is very surprised whenever she swears but she actually swears a lot

tells Pandora about the greek pandora myth and thinks that that's flirting

lotssssss of freckles

curvy/chubby

she is so sleep deprived

sneaks into the library at night (oh wherever could the sleep deprivation come from i have no idea)

loves christmas season (decorating, baking, cheesy movies, music, buying gifts for friends etc., not the christian part)

stress-bakes but can't even cook spaghetti without burning down the kitchen (baking is just different than cooking for her)

constantly apologizes for everything

smokes occasionally and always swears it's the last time (it’s not)

actually not that short but looks very short next to remus and pandora

abba fan (unironically) and always tries to get sirius to dress up as abba with her, remus and pandora (she already coerced persuaded them) for halloween

soft but wouldn't hesitate to kill for the ppl she loves

would love penelope scott if she was a modern teen bc i say so

first one to notice remus has a crush on sirius and vice versa

last one to notice she has a crush on pandora and vice versa

reminds others to drink/eat/sleep/dress warm enough but often doesn't herself bc she feels like she 'doesn't deserve it' :((

kind of a people-pleaser but remus is helping her to stop

so afraid of failure she sometimes doesn’t even try

Remus

doesn't cry (not on purpose he just suppressed his emotions for so long he literally can't cry anymore unless he has a full on mental breakdown)

caffeine addiction

won’t drink anything that isn't hot (eg coffee and tea, but also just hot water)

covers up his intense self hatred with jokes (not self deprecating but like joking about being perfect and stuff, idk how to explain it it's mostly me projecting bc i do that lmao)

very sarcastic and can come off as harsh

actually very nice and non-judgmental

chocolate >>>>>

never involved in any drama but wants to know all about it (Lily is his main source of information)

swears a lot

teachers think he’s very responsible but he just doesn’t get caught being irresponsible

smokes too much

thought the sorting head made a mistake by sorting him into gryffindor at first and still feels insecure about it all through his hogwarts years

patronus is a big black dog(sdfghjk)

very very tall but like kind of lanky

lots of scars obv

Sirius had to ask him out (and later propose to him sdfghjdfs) bc he had too much self doubt/hatred and thought Sirius would never want to be with him :(( (He did. Sirius very much wanted to be with him. Very much.)

top tier insomniac (lily makes sleep droughts for him tho)

lily taught him how to bake and now he loves it and is getting quite good at it

corrects people's grammar

knows every single abba lyric bc of lily

david bowie fan

constantly third-wheeling pandora and lily

hits/breaks things when angry, sometimes hits himself but never others

so afraid of rejection he ends up pushing ppl away (they can’t leave you if you don’t let them close in the first place) (his only close friends still are James, Sirius, Peter and Lily, but it took so long for him to let especially Lily close. Pandora still isn’t quite there even tho they are def very good friends)

Pandora

very smart but only does anything at all if she likes the class/thinks it makes sense to have the class

only follows rules she thinks make sense and most teachers just gave up trying to do something about it

experiments with magic a lot

has scars from said experiments

also random bruises and scratches of unknown origin

wears large quantities of jewellery (piercings, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, beads etc in her butterfly locs)

homemade jewellery >>>>>

cannot flirt to save her life

eyeliner.

absolutely in love with lily’s brain

doesn’t drink caffeine

her maiden name is lovegood and both lily and her become lovegood-evans later bc in my brain they marry

just wanders around sometimes (excuses it with saying she sleepwalks if she gets caught past curfew)

t a l l

the sorting head barely touched her head before sorting her into ravenclaw

patronus is an octopus bc it's very intelligent but often seen as 'weird'

fav flower is the lily of the valley (sfdghjk)

knits (she knits sweaters and scarfs for lily <3)

is like the only one in this trio that actually feels pretty good about herself

although she does realize ppl tend to see her as 'weird' she just kind of accepted it? like, yeah, other ppl can be close-minded but she knows that and doesn't let it define her; as long as she's happy and doesn't hurt ppl it's all good for her

exclusively drinks sparkling water and jasmine tea

hates the feeling of brushing her teeth and is always working on spells/potions(with lily sdfghjdfs) that clean her teeth for her

would definitely also love penelope scott if she was a modern teen

loves pastries and other little baked goods

literally doesn't get cold

[lycan-troth]

I'm so confused by the asexual spectrum, and I mean that respectfully. There's so many variations that I can't keep up with them. I've tried to understand what they are, but I've not been able to find anything that explains them simply and clearly.

Before ppl get mad or offended... I'm saying this bcs I think I could be on the spectrum, but bcs it's so confusing, I can't tell if I am or not. I just want to see simple explanations, but I can't wrap my head around all the different versions. So, I was hoping someone knowledgeable on the subject could suggest what I could be? I'm lesbian and she/they, so I understand those parts of my identity, just for some subtext. I'm just stumbling on how I (don't) experience attraction.

So, I'm 22, and I have no experience with intimacy or romance. Though, that's mainly bcs I haven't had the opportunities. I'd never be intimate with a stranger or a friend. I've only been in love once. I've only felt significant attraction to maybe 4 or 5 people? I usually catch myself trying to see if I find anyone attractive, and it often feels forced bcs the high majority of ppl I see are not attractive to me. I observe ppl, trying to find elements of them that might spark something in me, but nothing happens. I've tried to force crushes on myself before, and it just feels desperate and lonely. I feel no genuine attraction. Just indifference. It bothers me. I want to feel attraction more often, but I don't.

A good thing is that I'm not someone who's usually considered attractive. I'm cute and innocent-like, but nothing more. I'm basically that one friend everyone assumes is innocent and kind like a kid, and no one decent is interested in that. And that's okay, bcs I don't find anyone around me attractive, haha. It's just lonely. The few times I've been attracted to someone has always been really overwhelming for me. I've literally gone weak in the knees and almost fallen over bcs I saw a rlly attractive girl. But always, when I've felt attraction, I've also been afraid. I've often joked to myself that if i feel intimidated by a girl and she hasn't done anything to warrant that response, then she's just really pretty.

I have never approached anyone I've found very attractive bcs it just seems rlly weird to me. Plus, I always don't know them, or they're seeing someone, and I'm always an anxious wreck. In general, I can not recognise flirting or subtle things. I'm autistic and while my social skills aren't bad, they only go so far, lol. So, maybe someone has tried flirting before, and I just thought they were being nice? That's why I don't do subtle. The ppl in my life know that I don't play games. If I have a problem with someone, I'd tell them. If I'm happy spending time with someone, I let them know. I tell a few ppl I love them, that's a big thing for me. I like directness, but I know lots of ppl struggle with it. However, for me, I need it to be able to understand the full picture properly. Idk why so many ppl like playing weird cat and mouse games. Someone said it was to be mysterious or to not show 'too much' interest. That to me is just stupid and childish. I get feeling scared of rejection, but I don't like it when ppl mess around. It's impolite to play with someone's feelings, making them question whether you like them or not. It just breeds insecurity and doubt. To me, it's unattractive and boring. It's not romantic. But that's just me, and I'm often enough the odd one out.

Anyway, it is not often I feel attraction. Ppl are usually boring. I have felt that a few ppl were cute during brief interactions, so if those continued, perhaps that sort of feeling could have developed. I'm open to marriage with the right person, but only if they're The One. I'd only date someone if I knew them well enough, but I'm not open to dating casually. I feel very intensely about most things, and I have been in love once. It was an online relationship. I loved her very much and only wanted her happiness and comfort. I hadn't meant to fall in love, and I'd never intended to have an online relationship. But I loved her, and that changed my mind. When she broke up with me, I accepted it and comforted her about it. I mentioned that I was sad about it, naturally, but I didn't say much more than that. I understood it was difficult and upsetting for her to break up, so I respected her decision and minimalised communicating the extent of how upset I felt. I did that because telling her wouldn't be a kindness or productive. It would only make her feel more upset and guilty. We're still friends. I always thought ppl were being dramatic when they said that first loves were devastating or sad. I loved and was loved in return, which makes the experience worth it. I hope to find love again, someday.

I like the idea of romance and comfort, but obtaining it isn't so simple. However, I refuse to settle for less than what I want. On the other hand: intimacy. I'm not upset that I've never done anything. Sure, in theory, I'd like to have a bit of experience, but I don't, and that's okay. My hand does the trick for me just fine, so I'm not frustrated at all. If I had a partner, in theory, I believe if I trusted them enough, we might do something together, but in reality? Idk, but I like the idea of it.

That's all I can think of to mention. So, if someone could make a suggestion or something, I'd appreciate it. Even if it's just to tell me that I'm not part of the asexual spectrum, and I'm just an introverted, anxious, autistic, lesbian who's suffering under the devastation that is other ppl's commitment issues. That'd be fine. I'm just feeling lost and would appreciate a kind word of reassurance.

[the-anime-hermit---mus-musculus]

My opinions on saiki k ships!

Video and text version below ⬇️

Hi, so people always have deferent and sometimes very intense feelings on ships. I don't want to name names, but... people who send death threats and call people homophobic for not agreeing with their ships. cough cough

But today I am not here to bash on any ships except for illegal ones, yall pedophilia is NOT cool, nor is incest. Instead I am gonna talk about my humble and changeable(possiblebly) (ya gotta make a good argument) opinions on ships in saiki k.

Hi so editors note, I think that it might be helpful for you all to understand a bit about me and my irl experience with romance to beter understand where my opinions are coming from, but if you don't want to hear about my boring real life shit, wich I totally get, skip to the time on screen, if you want to here it go ahead and stay, so i am autistic, adhd, and have multiple anxiety disorders, and I am demiromantic and demisexual and have never had a crush before so I don't know what I'm taking about.

Now to start i assume that people who aren't fans of shipping in saiki k aren't here, but if you are, I totally get it. It is a comedy anime and is about friendship, so romantic relationships aren't a requirement. You don't have to want characters to actually get together. But I and the other shippers that are here find shipping fun.

I find shipping to be a fun way to explore different characters and their interactions. So let's get on to ships I PERSONALLY ship.

Kaidou x aren

The boys are starting this list. I think they are so cute and I love how their relationship develops, and also how the characters complement each other. The irony of there friendship is part of what makes it a fun combo. We have a person who wants to live in a sort of larger than life fantasy where they are a bad ass, and the other is a person who had said larger than life... life, that wants to leave that behind and become more acceptable to society. And that last part is what I think draws me to the ship. I feel like in different ways they both want the same thing: to be a "beter" more acceptable version of themselves, and to have people who see them how they want to be perceived. And as a person who puts on a act and at one point felt like they lost themselves and never had a personality due to excessive masking( if u don't know what that means I will have a awesome video by a autistic creator that explains it) I love seeing how both Kaidou and aren sincerely believe in each other and the person that the other wants to be. I also am biased to anything to do with Kaidou. So that is why I love these 2 together, they combine to show how ppl that have seemingly different goals can really just want acceptance, and are able to find that acceptance in each other.

Okay so as I was writing this script I realized the only ship that I actively ship are these 2 precious beens: Kaidou and aren. And by actively ship I mean purposely looking for content of them. With the other saiki k ships I don't have the same "requirement" I guess, it's really not that deep but I can't think of a better word 😅, but I don't seek out other ships, i simply passively enjoy or disagree with them.

So on to ships I passively enjoy:

First one might not actually be considered a ship, i don't know... but it is teruhashi and the pig tail girl that is in love with her. Because she IS in love with teruhashi and you can't prove me wrong, mis girl literally willed herself into having a crush on teruhasi's brother so she "didn't become a lesbian". So by i ship them i mean that I love to see her pine after teruhashi, I am some what indifferent to whether or not people want or portray them as dating but I do throughly enjoy her pinning and jealousy and love to see women in love with women.

Second ship I passively enjoy:

Nendou and haido. Now this is my crack ship that I simply like to think about sometimes. These 2 boys are so hilariously gay that I get excited any time I see people ship them. Now I feel that I need to make a clarification on this, the ship is not funny become they are gay in the way of treating gay relationships as not real and as a joke, but is funny in the way that the characters act, and that they say it is a rivalry when really Nendou might not even know they are competing. And as a wise person that I can't remember the name of once said" if you make a rivalry to intense it becomes gay." And there rivalry isn't even real, there are no real hard feelings that could lead to a toxic relationship, it is just 2 manly men obsessing over each other.

Now this next one is one that I can't think of a name for how I feel about it, saiki and teruhashi. Now these 2 have a very nuanced and well developed relationship in my opinion, and there is no argument about wether or not saiki cares about her, because he dose, they are friends and he cares about her just like he cares about his male friends. But I personally headcanon saiki as aro ace, and so I am not the BIGGEST fan of any saiki ships, but I don't hate them obviously because he isn't canonically aroace, so who am i to tell ppl not to ship him because of my headcanons. And I do feel like if saiki was going to fall in love, like not just a crush, it would be teruhashi. And I would still headcanon him as part of the ace spectrum, if not aroace then demiromantic and demisexual. But he and teruhasi's relationship has changed throughout the show, it started with teruhashi wanting him simply because he didn't want her, but it changed to her genuinely caring about him, eventually it felt like to me her crush stopped being for her and started being for saiki. It went from her wanting HIM to her wanting the best FOR him. I don't know where I heard it but someone said that you know you truly love someone when you want them to be happy even if it's not with you. Now I don't think that teruhashi would go that far but she genuinely cares more about him than dating him by the end, in my opinion.

Now on to what some ppl may see as the a agonist to teruhashi x saiki, saiki x Sato. And even saying that saiki x teruhashi is the "antagonist" to saiki x Sato fells wrong, because i think that is a really toxic way to look not only at ships but at women in media, people may see that a woman gets in the way of there gay ship and hate on her. But that whole decision of how ppl treat women in media is not the point of this video. I think that saiki x Sato feels like a crush type of thing, again to me saiki is aroace so I see his infatuation with Sato as wanting to BE him not date him, but I 100% see how ppl concluded that saiki likes him, if he were to have what I imagine a "crush" is it would be on him, but I must say that saiki, at least in the anime, has no real relationship with him, to me it feels like a crush on the idea of a person and not on the person themselves, but I must mention that I am demiromantic and demisexual my self, so I may just not understand the whole crush on person you don't know well thing, so feel free to try to explain it to me in the comments.

Finally we have ships i don't like:

Now this one has very little newaunce unlike the last "mabey I'm to demi for this shit" relationship, but I don't like saiki x toritska. I get that it is a fun rare pair for some ppl but I just can't ever see them together. No hate i just don't get it, and don't see the appeal of it, so if you are a hard-core saiki x toritska shiper let me know why in the comments, I legitimately want to try to understand other perspectives, especially on something as nuanced as romance.

Now these are the main ships that I see and wanted to comment on, but if you have any ships you are curious of my opinion on please let me know, I would love to make a video that you want to see.

[acourtofthought]

lol I was skimming through your blog and I saw ppl love to say elain is uncomfortable around lucien I once had this argument with someone and I asked them "why hasn't she break the mating bond?" and they instantly shut down lol

like come on girl if she was THAT uncomfortable wouldn't she asked feyre if there was a way to end whatever it was with him and set herself free and choose azriel? she had 2 years to think about it and it apparently hasn't accrued to her once...

and my bigger question is why Azriel hasn't ask himself that? ah right... he hasn't think beyond the fantasy of her in his bedroom so he dosen't really care if she's mated or not bc his brothers are mated to her sisters and lucien of all people is mated with her, now how fair is that? very romantic...

honestly it's really that simple... yall just need to think a little and stop being blind and delulu lmao

I think it's probably accurate to say Elain IS uncomfortable when Lucien is around.

But.......so what, right? 😂

Feyre was terrified of Rhys when she first met him.

Nesta made Cassian feel like he was worthless when she first met him, snorting and looking away as if he was nothing then told him on multiple occasions to leave her the hell alone.

So yes, Elain is uncomfortable but there are many possible reasons that could be causing that besides the "she has no interest in him and will never have interest in him" argument.

I am the absolute worst around people I'm really attracted to. Like, "can't make eye contact and have no idea what to say" awkward and uncomfortable.

Elain might not want a mate or a male because she's trying to convince herself it's the truth all the while being frustrated that she's extremely drawn to Lucien.

Elain's "newfound boldness" might disappear around Lucien because he can see right through that "newfound boldness" to realize she's fooling herself and those around her, that she's not as happy and fine in the NC as she's putting out there.

Everyone expects Elain to make friends and be optimistic because that's who she's always been but what happens when if it's not working? She wouldn't want to let others down when they have certain expectations of her so she's showing them what they want to see. Maybe she's trying to fake it until she makes it herself.

But a mate KNOWS things and can most likely sense that she's full of shit. That would make me lose my "newfound boldness" too. Knowing someone has a front row seat to my soul and they can see act I'm putting on.

Until we are at the end of Elain's book (considering Nesta STILL couldn't admit her feelings for Cassian until 3/4 of the way through), no one can say for certain that Elain's reaction to Lucien isn't a result of the intense emotions and pull she has to him, that it's something she's fighting having to admit because it's scary.

Like you said, why string the poor man along for nearly two years if she's really not interested? Why keep accepting his gifts? Why not beg Feyre to not invite him to Solstice? And why haven't Az or Elain made any plans on what they'll say to Lucien if they do in fact have feelings for one another? If Elain has no interest in him then why is Rhys telling Az to back off? Why does Nesta call her a wretch for not sitting near him? Why does Cassian feel bad for the longing on Lucien's face? Why did Feyre tell Elain to get to know Lucien? Why did Feyre encourage Lucien to spend more time with Elain? Considering these are Az's people, why are they all on board the Elucien train?

Elain and Az not ending up together is a blip in their journey's. They had a year where they tossed around the idea of something (all the while Az was also tossing around the idea of wishing Mor wanted him). But they can move on and it really doesn't affect anyone to any real degree, not even themselves. If Az can get over his 500 + year old love for Mor within the span of a book then getting over a 1 year long crush should take him 1/500th of that time.

Elain and Lucien not ending up together impacts their entire lives. It impacts the lives of whoever they end up with (that person always knowing that their SO has a unique bond with someone else, a super special connection that only mates share). It's not something, as Rhys tells us, that will ever completely go away.

[alloarocharactershowdown]

LORD DOMINATOR PROPAGANDA: How often is it that you get a villain whose motive is passion & love & fun, whose personality majorly reflects those things, who massively comes off as aro-coded, and who is presented as being EPIC and RIGHT for hating when ppl make romantic advances towards her & for shutting fools tf down for having the gall to assume she'd want to date them or that it'd even be appropriate to consider asking her out in the first place!??! (It's like hitting on someone while they're working but 100x worse bc her work is being The Big Bad!) Each time she does so, it is in NO WAY framed as evil of her for harshly rejecting dudes, EVEN WHEN SHE DOES SO TO ONE OF THE MCs!!!

There's an entire story arc about one of the beloved villain MCs havin a big dumb crush on her, and it's constantly portrayed as inane and also sexist for him to pursue her (or even be encouraged to) and to make all the hetero/amatamornative assumptions that he does. It's all buildup to her RIGHTEOUSLY putting him & his enablers in their place and stomping his inappropriate advances to pieces. We're meant to root for her in that regard the ENTIRE ARC, and that's made very evident at every turn; the show's voices of reason always point out that treating her as Love Interest Character™ is bad!! Even when loverboy ~changes~ to be considerate of what she may want instead of purely caring about how bad HE wants to date her, even when his approach is "fixed" to be a ""sweet, grand gesture,"" the writing still goes, "nO THIS IS STILL INCREDIBLY WEIRD WTH" and commits to the buildup of her inevitable harsh rejection of him being SATISFYING & RIGHT OF HER. And bc leaving it at that isn't cool enough, it's literally the thing that leads into her AMAZING villain song that further drills in how typecasting women & girls as love interests (or anything else) purely bc of their gender is stupid & wrong, and how she's very happy as she is, without romance in her life!!! And as she sings, she up and destroys a planet that's entirely themed around romance and dating AND GOD DOES IT GO HARD. She LITERALLY kills amatanormativity dead.

Oh, and on top of all this, the reason the crush arc even happened in the first place... was bc Wander thought that if he set Dom & Hater up together, them having romantic love in their lives would "cancel out all their evil." His best friend (& voice of reason character) points out that not only can people have that kinda love in their lives and still be evil, two villains could even become TWICE AS EVIL. The lesson there: Romance ISN'T an inherent force of good!!! Nor is any kind of love, genuine or not!!! Dominator's villain song also majorly proved that bc it stressed how she's happy & FULL of love for her life exactly the way it is!!! She doesn't need Hater's romance or Wander's friendship to be happy, nor would either thing make her happy at all! In fact, it's made pretty obvious that having either of those things would make her (and both the other characters) UNHAPPY!! It's a recurring moral of the story that happiness is unique to everyone; you can't force what makes some people happy onto everybody as a one-size-fits-all source of happiness, and romance is a MAJOR example of that! Just because it makes some people happy doesn't mean that it's like that for all people, and half the protags get to learn that through the fact that Dom does NOT want romance in her life and is HAPPY that way! Lord Dominator's intense love for living her life the way she wants to live it is actually what makes her so unstoppable!! It can very much be said that she's totally fueled by The Power Of Love, and her love trumps the protags trying to go up to her with, 'umm... the power of romantic love and offering friendship to ALL!' Yeah, NOPE!! She's doing what makes her happy, and that absolutely DEMOLISHES everything stemmed from the concept that romance & heroism tropes would inherently make anyone happy! They can't stand against her with that and hope to win! It DOESN'T work that way!!

And to top it all off, IT'S CONFIRMED THAT SHE WAS WRITTEN AS GAY. A BUNCH OF THE CREW SAW HER AS A LESBIAN AND THEY LEANED INTO IT, AGAIN IN A WAY THAT'S ENTIRELY SEPARATE FROM HER BEING A VILLAIN! There was literally an entire episode dedicated to coding her and the one other female character in the main cast as such, and it was written by a lesbian staff writer!!!!! The intent behind writing her as lesbian is just so.. sincere(? if that's the right word) bc of that, and ik another writer on the crew once spoke about how the team really cares about never writing gags or characters in a way that would imply that being gay is anything outrageous or bad. And on the subject of "lesbian undertones: the episode", it lends itself to the aro lesbian Lord Dominator hc so well because, canonically, there aren't any romantic feelings involved in the story of that ep even tho it was consciously written to have hella lesbian undertones; it's wholly about Dominator temporarily finding a friend in the one other woman in the main cast, and how she's affected by the bond they share on their night out bc she's never had anything like that before. She doesn't want a love life, but something like this she is so gung-ho for!!

No one does it like Lord Dominator.

.

[boofitz]

The identity crisis of being an artist who just graduated college but didn't major in art lol

So as the title states, I just graduated university! Yay! Finally out of that hell hole, and one more step closer to being able to move out of Florida. I'm happy to be done, but I've been feeling a bit apprehensive about what I'm going to do with my life now. What I can even do with my life now, honestly.

I majored in Communication with a focus in Business and Professional Communication, so currently I'm mainly looking at marketing and sales type positions. I've been lucky enough to have had really wonderful internship experiences in the marketing field, so it's not like I would be miserable, but I can't help feel kinda dissatisfied with the idea.

Art is the only type of work I've ever done that made me feel more fulfilled after doing it, rather than drained (even if it can be a struggle to force myself to actually just sit down and do it). I want to try to at least incorporate making art into whatever I end up doing. I even added a bit of graphic design to my job duties at my last internship, even though I didn't have to.

However, I feel horribly unqualified to do any sort of art professionally. I'm self-taught, and unfortunately have often had to put my art on the back burner to focus on school and health problems, so my skills just aren't very well developed, and I lack experience with a lot of professional software.

As a student, I felt less insecure about it I guess, bc just saying "I'm a student" implies so much freedom and potential. I still had time to figure myself out. I was lucky to have gotten a lot of scholarships, so I didn't have to stress about bills too much. I theoretically had time and freedom to work on my passions, even if it often didn't work out that way.

I know a lot of ppl will say I'm still young, and have time to learn and grow. And I'm hoping to try to use some of this time while I'm still looking for a job to focus on working on my art (I even finally opened the Etsy shop I've been putting off for months); however, I worry about what will happen when I finally do get a job.

A lot of the entry-level marketing jobs I've been getting interviews for have very long hours, and some even expect you to work on weekends. At this point, I fear I might have to take on a very intensive work schedule in order to get any employment. This will likely leave me with little free time, and I've already been struggling with severe fatigue due to health issues.

I saw what happened to my mom due to long work hours and chronic health issues. She used to an artist, that was one of her defining attributes. She was constantly painting or working with pastels. She'd doodle everywhere. Our house was literally covered in her art. But after just a few years of nursing, she just became too tired to. She just stopped making original art. Maybe once in a blue moon, she'd have a sudden burst of inspiration and would paint a door with some stencils, but then she wouldn't pick up a paintbrush again for like a year.

And it drove her mad. I know it drove her mad; she would literally cry at night sometimes saying she felt like she had completely lost her identity. She finally painted something for the first time in several years (based on a poem she wrote which was also something she hadn't done in a long time), and she was so happy at first. But she was crushed when most ppl in her life didn't seem that interested.

I'm scared to end up like my mother, and giving up on art bc of practicality and just life not really being conducive to it.

And I also already feel myself falling into chastising myself for spending time on my art, since I should be focusing on getting a job. There's always something I SHOULD be doing instead, and I fear one day it will completely eat me up too.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

me a full season after 5x05 - 5x07

[derelictheretic]

(For the ask game) I have a couple of OCs, but I’ll do Dove since she’s my favorite girl :3 Dove is kind, hardworking (sometimes too much), affectionate (once she knows someone well), and teasing when she wants to be. She is from Texas originally, bilingual, and loves spicy foods and Tex-Mex food. She enjoys photography, journaling, and being in nature (especially if the weather is nice and cool). And she secretly(?) has a thing for slightly evil people *cough* John Seed lol. There’s probably more info but this is all I could think of for now haha XD

First off I love her she sounds incredible 🥺💕 And she has wonderful taste in awful (affectionate) men <3

Okay so immediately I think on a surface level Heather would like her, simply because it sounds like they have a lot in common with the hard-working nature, being from Texas and enjoying journalling! They'd at least have a lot to talk about and bond over.

Heather struggles with friendships in general and Dove seems like a sweet person which is exactly the type of people Heather struggles with the most, if Dove likes evil people like John though maybe she'll be able to deal with Heathers attitude and once Heather realises she's not gonna be put off by her real personality she'll dub her the highest honor of actual friendship.

The only other problem that could arise is Heather obviously hates John and can't trust anyone close to him, but aside from that I think they could be good friends!

Piper would love Dove, she loves camping, hiking and being outdoors and she would love to have someone to do that with! She'd also enjoy how affectionate and teasing Dove is, Pip loves people she can bear hug whenever and have inside jokes with. (She would be the type to send Dove personalised memes at 3am). It's also very likely she'd get a big fat crush on her at some point because pretty women are just her weakness but she's also a lil coward so she'd never say anything about it and just be thankful to have a friend (seeing as despite being pretty laid back she can be a bit intense for some people and doesn't have many!). I think they could have a very chill, goofy kind of friendship tbh!

Anya, as you may or may not know, is a huge lesbian and when you put a hard-working, funny woman in front of her with interesting hobbies she will fall in love. She's also socially inept though so again, never admitting it—BUT, she would go out of her way to ask Dove about her hobbies and interests. She may struggle to share her own at first as she's very closed off and secretive but she's good at telling when people are honest and genuine and I think she'd see that in Dove and be more willing to tell her about herself. Anya also loves nature and she'd be more than happy to explore some of Hope County with Dove, she's great at picnics and will bring a bouquet along too because she can't help herself. (Dove may have to expand Anya's food palette tho bc her tastes are BLAND, like a pinch of paprika would kill her probably, help her).

Dean is the Golden retriever boy who befriends anyone whose nice to him for two seconds so i'd say he'd like Dove from the get go ajsjsjsj No but he'd definitely vibe with her personality and enjoy her company I think! He is touch starved so an ounce of affection would earn Dove his undying loyalty just sayin AND AGAIN outdoorsy man (I swear not all of my oc's our outdoor ppl this is a coincidence ajsjdjd) so he'd be thrilled to hang out in the wilderness and watch her take photos and if she gets tired piggy back rides are on the table! He also loves spicy foods and would always offer to cook for her btw his love language is feeding people and making them their fave drinks. He's pretty happy and laid back when there's not a cult takeover happening so I think they could definitely get along in the pre-reaping era (and they both have they same taste in evil cult men, tho Dean is super in denial abt it for a long time </3).

[hoe4rairai]

Imagine this one :

Raian's sister Fusui has a best friend and her name is Odette.

Odette, is a half Kure and she moved back with her mom to the Kure village. Her mom is a Kure her dad is not. What happened to her dad though is a mystery only her mom can explain with a wild grin !!!!!! . Odette, wasn't blessed with the Kure eyes but the girl has a nasty side to her.

So who is Odette and what is her relationship with Raian, you ask 🙃 ????

Ohh well , let's say they both on each others' cases, since she was 16 and he was 20 that's when she returned back to the kure village. Had been bullied because of her mixed blood but her mom was diligent to teach her everything she knew about the kure techniques, she proved her worth around the village, she isn't the violent type though she is unstoppable if she was provoked ...

She is 165 cm and 50 kgs , literally half Raian in size, very light with her movements, fast enough for a normal human to catch up. She mastered few fighting styles , aced in using guns, sniper rifles ( she accompanied Fusui on several missions and done exceptionally well ) she also mastered the ancient Japanese sword technique called Kenjutsu ( which is her preferred method of killing / fighting ).

She has sleek long thick black hair ( and it always smelled so good ) Raian once twisted her ponytail around his foraem and pulled her away from fighting someone who called her a fake kure while laughing at her angry face! Telling her he is right, only for her to turn around facing him trying to punch him in the face but before she knew it he smacked her head into his chest hard enough for her eyes to tear up, he lowerd his head to level up with her's and like the cocky bastard that he is with a serious face and gravelly voice he said : ( u fuckin dare doll face ??? ) , his eyes pierced her soul, one thing for sure though she lost her breath when he almost touched her lips ... her eyes are jet black and although they don't glow in the dark, they actually have an intense shine to them when she gets very excited or rather terrified in this case.

She is a girl after all, loves to dress up and go partying with her besti Fusui . They both got each others' back and Raian to her is someone she has a crush on but hates to admit, ever since the very first day she saw him at the camp ramming someone to the ground effortlessly.

So who is she to Raian... a F*king useless human looking doll that has kure blood but ugly eyes. He hates them ( that's what he wants her to believe though, reality could be different) , he ones told her with his cold hyena voice how he wishes to pull her ugly eyes out of her ( Raian had always been that man who like to provoke others but with Odette, he enjoys to see her reactions and use any chance he gets to see her upset and close to tears ... Why ??? Well her eyes shine like black pearls )

To him, she is a brat who can get the lion bite to a decent percentage but has no ability for the removal ...HE WAS F*ING WRONG ... Raian teases her everytime he sees her at their home whenever he isn't on a mission when she visits Fusui and they just get on with their cat fights . Yall know what that means right ..... !!!

Fusui can see it in the air, Raian is a fucking fuck to admit and Odette is just ignorant but aware of how her body reacts when Raian comes close and he does everytime on purpose but because he loves the blush on her face everytime he gets uncomfortably close .

Odette isn't an alpha but she can and will put any average man down in a hot minute. Raian is the only man that she can't even look him in the eyes nor think straight around him.

Raian, has hell of a strong six sense and he is smarter than ppl think, he knows and for once he is curios about this intruder freaky looking Kure...

How this will develop. She likes him, he knows but he loves more than anything to provoke her, to get reactions out of her, he likes it when she reacts back, he likes her but he will test her waters the hardest and in the most unpredictable ways.

Odette is sensitive though but mastered the poker face, Fusui knows and she is trying to help her going out with other nicer guys and to forget about her brorther because ( OHH WELL ITS RAIAN AFTER ALL ) until one night Raian saw her with a boy at a park around the kure village ......

SHIT .....

[fandomshatewomen]

Eleven just start to have friends for 1 week and they already put romance to her life, it's like 10 years old boys and girls can't be friends. PS: Stranger Things episodes has people saying the f slur and there's no LGBT rep but they made Eleven to hate other 10 years old girl bc Max talked to Mike (I know some ppl said she felt abandoned by Mike but why she just get mad at Max and not to Mike?)

They’re in middle school. Seventh grade is as young as 11 but usually they’re usually 12 by the time they enter seventh grade. A 12 year old, while still CERTAINLY a child, is different than 10 yo because hormones.

Canonically, we know El is 12 (S1E7, I think? established that El’s mom spent seven years fighting to get her back but gave up five years ago). I taught both age brackets my first year at sub, and I feel the need to point out the difference. Ten year old are still deep in the cooties stage, but getting a significant other is at the top of the middle school to-do list, bless their confused, intense little hearts.

Other than that, I 100000% agree with you. El really does not need to be shoved at Mike like that. She needs intensive therapy, reliable friends, and a genuinely loving home. As much as I like Mike, he should be her friend and keep his crush to himself.

Also, we all know why El hates Max. Getting a boy’s attention is a competition between girls in media, always and forever.

Also also, re: the homophobia - fucking ew. WHY.

KG