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softwarmboy · 3 years

Text

1. Selfie

2. What would you name your future kids?

I really like the name Damon! And Grace

3. Do you miss anyone?

Always

4. What are you looking forward to?

My name and gender marker documents going through!!! (Hopefully) my trip to London in the fall!!! My second dose of the vaccine! Seeing my little sister again! New tattoos!!

5. Is there anyone who can always make you smile?

Absolutely, I have a few close friends who can always get me smiling again

6. Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Unfortunately for me, yes, very ;-; Im a very emotional person and feel things very strongly

7. What was your life like last year?

Living on the coast, working construction, and that was about it

8. Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed

Yes 😂😂😂 mostly over math

9. Who did you last see in person

My friend Shannon!!!

10. Are you good at hiding your feelings

Yes and no, if I’m upset/irritated/sad it’ll show on my face whether I want it to or not, BUT I’m pretty good as passing it off as something else if I want. Not a whole lot of people can tell when im doing that, if anyone at all

11. Are you listening to music right now?

Of course!! Im listening to When The Darkness Comes by Colbie Caillat

12. What is something you want right now?

Food 😂😂😂

13. How do you feel right now?

Sore and tired

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you

Yesterday!! My friend was having a rough day and was kinda snarky with me and gave me a hug and an apology after she calmed down

15. Personality description

Full of dad jokes, puns, sass, caffeine and smart ass replies at all times 😂 very direct/straightforward, and have little to no patience for beating around the bush, in any context

16. Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t

Oh god yeah, growing up I never told anyone anything, ever

17. Opinion on insecurities

We all have them, if you’re the kinda person who zeroes in on someone else’s, for any reason, I feel sorry for you but also have absolutely no patience or respect for you

18. Do you miss how things were a year ago?

Nooooooooo, I wasn’t very happy. I wasn’t unhappy necessarily but 🤷🏻‍♂️ still no, hard pass

19. Have you ever been to New York

Nope! It’s on my travel list tho

20. What is your favourite song at the moment

At the moment??? The Colbie Caillat song i mentioned above!

21. Age and birthday?

23, and December 16th!

22. Description of crush

No thanks 😂

23. Fear(s)

Oh man, spiders, wasps, escalators (I have no idea why, don’t ask 😂😂) and aggressive men

24. Height

5’9!

25. Role model

As cliche as it is, I mean it when I say my momma

26. Idol(s)

I don’t really??? Have any????

27. Things I hate

Mushrooms and olives 😂 but in all seriousness, people who are rude to retail/customer service employees or servers, people who don’t use turn signals or say please, thank you and excuse me, the sound of styrofoam (it’s a sensory thing for me)

28. I’ll love you if-

You’ll play video games with me or will try them or any books/music I suggest, notice the little things about me

29. Favourite film(s)

The Mortal Instruments!!!!

30. Favourite tv show(s)

Gilmore Girls, The Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, Lucifer, Stranger Things, The Witcher, Firefly

31. 3 random facts

Your feet are the same length as your forearm! A whale dick is called a dork (if I remember correctly) and I can’t think of a third

32. Are your friends mainly guys or girls?

Girls mostly! I don’t have much in common with many guys 🤷🏻‍♂️ that and I just feel more comfortable around girls

33. Something you want to learn?

Sword fighting!!!! That’d be so cool

34. Most embarrassing moment

I have so many 😂😂😂 I’m a clumsy bastard, but I’ll go with my most recent for now- I saw a cute dog hanging his head out a car window and said hi without realizing there was someone in the passenger seat with their window down 😂😂

35. Favourite subject

Anything compute related!!

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill

Go to Italy, get married, see the northern lights!!!

37. Favourite actor/actress

Melissa McCarthy 😂😂

38. Favourite comedian(s)

John Mulaney, Taylor Tomlinson, Gabriel Iglesias, and Iliza Shlesinger!!

39. Favourite sport(s)

Hockey I guess 🤷🏻‍♂️

40. Favourite memory

Just one??? Hmmmmm….singing Party In The USA with my friends after we’d been inhaling helium 😂

41. Relationship status

Single 😂😂😭

42. Favourite book(s)

The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare, The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini, The Selection by Kiera Cass, and the Nightshade trilogy by Andrea Cremer

43. Favourite song ever

Ever???? Oh man that’s a tough one, maybe Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day???

44. Age you get mistaken for

17/18 😂😂😂so many of the teenagers at work don’t believe me when I say I’m in my 20’s. One of the kids in produce absolutely refused to believe I’m older than him

45. How you found out about your idol

N/A

46. What my last text message says

“I know you are”

47. Turn ons

Light nail scratches, is really all I can think of lately 🤷🏻‍♂️ I haven’t had that conversation with someone in quite some time

48. Turn offs

Being non consensually bossy, treating me like an object, daddy/mommy kinks

49. Where I want to be right now

London maybe! I’m really excited to go

50. Favourite picture of your idol

N/A

51. Starsign

Sagittarius!

52. Something I’m talented at

Teaching myself instruments! I’ve taught myself 3 so far! It’s always been something I’ve been able to pick up really quickly

53. 5 things that make me happy

Music, love in any form, snuggles, drives with my favourite people, my favourite comfort foods

54. Something that’s worrying me at the moment

My name and gender marker documents

55. Tumblr friends

God I don’t remember anyone’s URL’s anymore 😂😂 but I have a fair amount! I talk to 99% of them on other platforms now so 🤷🏻‍♂️

56. Favourite food(s)

Nachos, mashed potatoes, any sort of cheesy/creamy pasta! Grilled cheese, grilled salmon roll, and really any form of potatoes actually

57. Favourite animal(s)

Wolves are my absolute favourite

58. Description of my best friend

Curly brown (it looks brown to me 😂 I know you’ll come at me for this when you see it) hair, blue eyes, the gayest fashion sense, practical, will always tell me when I need to pull my head outta my ass 😂💚

59. Why I joined Tumblr

I wanted a safe space to explore things like mental health, transitioning and a few other things!

60. Ask me anything you want

Self explanatory, have at ‘er

#personal #it me #jaces life #as requested!

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

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Question.... how might you fit Camille angst into Camboy AU? Or Asmodeous? You dont have to if you dont want to but I love angst

[pulls out fully prepared powerpoint] im glad you asked….

seriously tho, if you think that i don’t want to fit camille angst into this AU, ur an idiot. i always want to fit camille angst. come on anon, youre better than this.

anyway. AHEM.

warning ahead for descriptions of emotional and sexual abuse, transphobia, manipulation

ok so when camille and magnus got together he wasn’t doing cam stuff yet, but i’m thinking he was already considering it? like it’s something he wanted to do and had the means to and thought he could enjoy and make some money out of. i have mixed thoughts about his backstory here, like, maybe he was a college dropout? because he ran away from home because of asmodeus. and he had the support of maia - maybe they even ran away together since she also ran away from home? hmm - and raphael (who had lost his family and had been lowkey taken under magnus’ wing and so he left with him too?) and cat and ragnor whom he possibly met later? and he was in a new city where he didn’t know many people and didn’t have an income source and thus he was even more vulnerable to camille’s abuse. like he still studies the shit he enjoys and actually i have this half-cooked thought about how him, maia, cat and ragnor wanting to develop, like, some sort of substance to help clean the ocean but they don’t want to do it for a company cuz they want it to be easily accessible and not used for profit, so they kind of do it voluntarily together, and- i’m not answering the goddamn question what the fuck shit goddamn you stupid fucking brain youve been WAITING for this question

anyWAY when magnus first met camille he still wasn’t doing cam stuff, he was living with maia and raphael and living off gigs? and still considering going back to college at the time (but he ultimately decided that nah it’s not worth the debt when he is doing just fine being self taught). but he was still in a bad mental space and wasn’t very stable and that made him all the more vulnerable to her bullshit

she was actually the reason he didn’t start doing cam stuff sooner - he had the means and he wanted to, but. well, first of all, camille was a possessive, jealous girlfriend. she would do this thing where she would simultaneously tell him she didn’t find him attractive - from saying that no one else could ever love someone like him to more casual, offhand, even matter-of-fact comments about how of course he needs makeup, or just vague comments like “kissing you is so weird sometimes” that she didn’t expand on and left him to mull over - and think he would cheat on her with, like, anyone and anything, and being extremely possessive.

she wouldn’t let him go out with friends unless she was with him - and when she was with him, she wouldn’t interact with them a lot unless it was to be lowkey nasty and try to get them to pick up a fight. so eventually magnus started not wanting to see his friends anymore because it meant more stress and not a good time. maybe he even moved out to live with camille for a while? or she was just always there and kept telling him that his friends - especially raphael - were trying to pit him against her.

and if magnus ever complained about it, she would say that this is exactly why she doesn’t trust him - because he keeps insisting on seeing them without her so much. what does he have to hide? and why isn’t her presence enough? if their relationship is not enough for him and he keeps wanting to be with other people without her, does he even want to be with her at all? does he even truly love her? if she’s not enough for him even as a friend, why would she be as a girlfriend? and she doesn’t deserve that humiliation, to be cheated on when she settled for him and gave him her all.

so obviously if he ever started doing cam shit, even if by himself, even if with her knowing, even if it’s not really cheating…. he knew she’d flip. she’d never let him. besides, she was helping him, right? she was rich and had no qualms about paying things for him, even if she was constantly commenting how embarrassing that must be for him. “poor baby, can’t even afford to look after yourself, need your girlfriend to help you so you can eat, huh?”.

(it was embarrassing. not because she was a girl, but just because he never wanted to be a burden to anyone)

but anyway, if he had her, he wouldn’t really need to do something like this, would he? what would she even say? would she even want to stay with him, when he knew she found sex workers disgusting and laughable?

(there’s a little more to it, too - the comments about his appearance started to get to him. why would anyone want to pay to see magnus’ body, when his own girlfriend didn’t like it? when she needed him to make up for it?)

and well not to go on a tangent (altho it’s not really a tangent because it does apply to this au) but i do have this headcanon that i’ve been wanting to talk about but never had the energy to daouhsdaudas that camille gave him so much shit for being a bottom

like…. “what kind of man are you, who doesn’t even want to be the one to fuck? wouldn’t it be easier to just stay a girl?”. but not just that, either. also just thinking that the idea of a man wanting to be fucked by a woman is pathetic, ridiculous. she would never. and like, that is fine, because it’s not like magnus hates topping or anything, he just prefers bottoming. but he’s topped a lot before - he always wants his partners to enjoy themselves, after all, so it’s no big deal. so, you know, he’d top her, no problem

but with her, it always felt like some kind of test

during sex was the only time she ever praised him, except for when he decided to do what she wanted after they had some sort of disagreement or fight. but it was always full of these little humiliations - and not the good, arousing kind that he was into, no matter how many times camille told him to stop whining because she knew he liked stuff like this - like comments on his body, on his appearance, on his performance. the first time she saw him with a strap-on, she laughed and said he looked fake. “even faker,” she commented, and didn’t elaborate, but then was extremely offended that he would ever think she was talking about his transness, because she would never say something like that, she never had a problem with him being trans. why is he even with her, if he doesn’t trust her enough to know this?

not to mention sometimes she would just- recoil. not want to hug him, or cuddle with him, or any kind of touch really. but when he tried to fuck her, to make her feel good - that she wanted. slowly sex started being the only kind of affection or touch that he got, so he wanted to do good. to make her feel good. so she wouldn’t stop wanting to do that, either. he already knew she cheated on him sometimes - she just needed more. he wasn’t enough. but at least he was good enough to get to be with her in that way, and he really, really didn’t want to lose that

well, eventually it got to a point where he couldn’t do it anymore- just got so depressed and dysphoric and desperate camille pretty much threatened to kick him out if he didn’t stop being such a slack, and he said ok. he’d leave. he was done. he couldn’t be happy like this.

she let him go with a string of venomous words about how she wouldn’t miss him, and how he was nothing without her. and then he went back to maia’s and raphael’s, embarrassed and terrified, with apologies on his lips, as well as the promise that he would leave soon, he wouldn’t burden then for long, he just didn’t have anywhere else to go right now

when they saw him at the door, they hugged him so tight it was like breathing for the first time. it was one of the only times he ever saw raphael cry

“we were scared we wouldn’t see you again,” they said

maia was scared the next time she heard about him, it would be about his funeral. she was almost in that place, once upon a time

they put him in a blanket like he was a traumatized child, and raphael made him the hot chocolate magnus used to make him when he was in need of comfort. and they helped him get back on his feet

it took him a while to consider doing cam stuff again, because- well, first of all, he needed to heal. second of all, he was living with raphael and maia now. and third, he still thought it was a silly idea, that he wouldn’t get any clients, that he wasn’t attractive enough, and he definitely wasn’t good in bed enough for anyone to be interested in watching him. you know

but after some time he started considering it again - it’s way better than retail or living off gigs and the 3 of them are a little more stable now. and then maia introduced him and raphael to meliorn, and him and meliorn talked about it a little bit - meliorn was very open about being a sex worker and didn’t mind helping magnus at all, teaching him a few things to watch out for, how most sites work, and recommended him the one they worked at, which had a trans men category. and his interest grew.

he filmed a few things when maia and raphael were out at work, but was hesitant to upload it. one day he did, and- well. it got him some money, and even a few subscriptions, which he really, really wasn’t expecting

so he started putting up a few more when he could, and eventually with that plus the money he had been saving he managed to save up for his own apartment - it was small and in the same building/neighborhood as before, so he was still close, but now he had more space, you know. it helped him get more comfortable

not that it was a secret, raphael and maia knew about it and didn’t really care, beyond raphael’s usual disgust at all things sexual. but they were supportive. so all was cool

and that’s when cam stuff started being his main source of income, until he dived into promoting it and getting clients deep enough for it to be his only source of income. in a way, it helped him feel a little more attractive and realize that, well, people liked his body. it’s just camille who didn’t

still, camille was one of the main reasons why he didn’t want to do feature videos for a long time - when it was just him, he was in way more control. no one could hurt him. no one could get to him. no one was actually there to know how good he was performing, he just had to look good. but with someone else it might be different. and then he would feel like a fraud, and lose his followers and money. idk if anyone even still remembers the original post but i mentioned in it that when he started talking to alec, he didn’t want to make feature films, they just started talking, became friends, then eventually did a feature video and fell down that rabbit hole. so yeah, that’s why

and then there’s the usual, you know - magnus thinking alec wouldn’t be attracted to him because hes trans, wouldn’t have enjoyed having sex with him. when they finished their first vid he was like “wow alec is such a great actor” but in reality he had just fucking blown alec’s mind with the absolute best sex he’s ever had in his whole life. and alec’s definitely not inexperienced in this au

alec isn’t his first after camille - meliorn is, i also mentioned them having been fuck buddies before he met alec - but it still blows his mind a little bit how sex with alec feels just. good. natural. like he really allowed himself to get lost in pleasure and not have that ever-constant presence in the back of his mind telling him he needed to do better, to do more. and alec was just so respectful to him and never pressured him into anything and just touched him all over without shame and it was so good because with camille she barely touched him, she wanted him to do all the work

not that meliorn wasn’t good or amazing either, but with them it was scratching an itch, and there was still that pressure he put on himself even if meliorn didn’t. but with alec there was just this connection, it worked in a way it hadn’t in a long time. which was shocking, because he definitely, definitely wasn’t expecting something like this from a cis white guy

but then again he wouldn’t have ever agreed to do this with alec if they weren’t already friends and close enough for magnus to know he was nothing if not respectful, caring, and willing to learn

but there’s some point you reach with abuse where being abused just feels natural and like a relationship should be. after a while, the abuser logic gets to you. it starts to make sense. and then you get in another relationship, and that logic doesn’t apply at all, and they don’t even think about doing the kinds of things that the abusers did. and something just clicks. like even if you did understand that what the abuser did wasn’t cool or acceptable or deserved, there’s a sort of understanding it that only comes when you re-experience an actually good relationship again, and remember, after so long on focusing on the bad things, what the good things are like. and alec was definitely that for magnus in all universes, that breath of fresh air, that feeling of wonder at being genuinely cared for and respected, and realizing you won’t settle for less anymore. that’s the feeling of starting to heal, when you get to experience that but you don’t take it as “wow they’re so perfect and different from the others”. they’re just how it’s supposed to, and can be.

and alec just so happens to be almost perfectly compatible with him, both in and outside of sex. and it’s amazing, in a way he hadn’t dared to hope for, or believe in

so yeah. that’s what i think about how the whole asmodeus/camille ordeal affected his story, and his future relationship with both his job and alec, later.

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dragonpiango · 5 years

Text

My review of 2019

January:

So I recently graduated from community college in the previous December, and I started university at HT with a scholarship for piano performance. Honestly I thought going to a HBCU was going to be weird, but turns out I’m not much of an outcast. It was a nice transition to a new setting and new people and a breath of fresh air! It was amazing having a practice room to myself and the mental thought of “getting to know my music” became a reality although my first piano lesson with my new professor was strange. His impression of me was way different than what I thought. Although he is a outstanding teacher, he might have overthought what I was capable of.... him assigning me my pieces and they consisted of Bach French suite No. 5 in G Major, Mozart sonata K.332 in F Major, Chopin Nocturne in D-flat Major, Chopin Scherzo No.2 in b-flat minor, and the most memorable piece IMHO Ravel’s Une Barque Sur L’Ocean from Miroirs.

February:

So still settling into a new university and meeting new people (although I just stayed in the music building bc that’s where all my classes were) it was Black History Month. Being apart of the choir at school and the only ensemble they offered, we were pretty busy with a lot of performances BUT it was enlightening too. Everyone has been so welcoming and coming from a background in classical music I’ve been introduced to Gospel music not only for voice, but piano. From accompanying spirituals to gospel it really has opened my eyes that music doesn’t have to be so strict. It is a way of expressing emotions and from then on I took my repertoire more seriously in the sense each piece had its own “character.”

March:

This month is a crucial one, not only did I find my “clique” at school, but they only consisted of two people. Ant and KayP. Not going to use their names but these two were the only two that understood who I was and I understood who they were. We might have drifted a little bit since one has graduated but in the mean time, during these few months, have been my shoulder to cry on. They were very talented vocalist who taught me a lot in the sense of accompanying and vice versa. Since our school is small, our “accompanist” was my piano teacher, so every rehearsal was around his schedule, until I came into the picture. They really pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and really get me to where I need to be. During this time, I was still working retail and I have a true appreciation for those who commit full time to retail because lemme tell y’all. That shit is a lot of work. Especially around holidays. Balancing out school and work was a struggle, but I managed through especially when I don’t have a piano at home. I have to go to school to practice and with retail, all my extra time would be working.

April:

By this time, everyone is stressing because of finals, but luckily since I grabbed an associates degree from COmmunity college, I didn’t have to take my core classes and cry. Music classes were all my focuses were on especially performance. I had a few performances in between for our seminar where we perform in front of all the music students, and for me, being a pianist, I didn’t have to rely on my teacher for rehearsals and accompanying. I just focused on me and this got me ready for our benefit concert that I was honored to be a part of. KayP being the current Miss HBCU and queen of the school, decided to raise money for students of troubled pasts who have really turned their lives around in college and made a great GPA would be rewarded with scholarship money that we raised. I was the one who got to close the whole show out and it truly was an amazing experience. Being able to perform for a great cause is always heart warming and I will cherish that moment forever.

May:

So the semester comes to an end and I have juries (where we perform our pieces in front of the faculty and get graded ) what I did not know is that since our school is so small, they invite and pay other professors from the biggest university next to us UT Austin and have them come sit and grade us as well. That to me was a shock moment, because coming from a university in a small town before we had enough people and knew everyone. Community college DIDNT have juries for piano which was odd, but this was a perfect opportunity to really put my hard work into good use. After juries, I did splendid with a few mistakes that I was able to recover from, and lemme tell y’all. No performance is perfect. And I have accepted that. My piano teacher hooked me up with one of his good friends who owns and directs her own music school and I became a piano teacher there. Oddly, I’m the youngest teacher there with no doctoral degree and am working on a BA still..... but none the less, this transition really opened my eyes.

June:

School is finally out, and I reduced my retail job to just Saturday. I finally got my reputation as a teacher at my new job and gained students rather quickly to where I was almost booked up Monday through Friday. With little to no teaching experience it was a trial and error process. I was taking over a studio of a former teacher who had visa issues. So all his students were a tad skeptical with me more so their parents. But after observing lessons and learning their names it was only a matter of time that I was teaching them and really became someone they look up to. It started off rocky because I wasn’t used to a build your own schedule, from what I’ve experienced with teaching at a music school is that someone does the schedule for you. Not in this case, so having to communicate and try to accommodate every students schedule was a tough start, but once I got used to it, the ride was easy from there. Unfortunately, most students were gone on vacation so I had to work with only a few who stayed in town and accommodate those who were in town for that week. That aside, my communication improved after constantly talking with parents 24/7.

July:

This is where life gets exciting. My boyfriend had surprised me with tickets to go to Chicago. I would go back because the city is amazing and food is delicious and it’s easy to get around in Chicago. It was a nice break from work and really helped me bond with my partner. During this time we had two cats. One names Roger and the other Gladys. So a little back story, when I moved in with my partner, his cats basically adopted me. Gladys was a daddy’s girl and kept to Todd mostly but she was very seeet with me and made adorable monkey noises when you picked her up and cuddled with her. She was diagnosed with cancer and the year before that we made the decision to remove her tumor and hope that she would live a healthy life. Well this is where the tumor came back full force and in Chicago, I was a wreck because I felt bad enjoying my time away and leaving her at home. My partner (who is the mature one in our relationship) had a sit down with me about what to do with her and I lost it. He didn’t want to put her down either, but it was for the best. We agreed to keep her comfortable until we knew it was time. Before the month ends tho, we are back home and my sisters boyfriend sends me a text saying he is serious about her and wants to marry her. The retail I work for is a jewelry store and he had asked me to help pick out a diamond for my sister since he knew what she wanted. So this was the good news. We find the diamond, and have it set in her favorite setting and my boyfriend who is full of surprises gets me a ticket to visit her in LA.

August:

So my birthday month is here, and I fly out to LA to deliver the ring to my now sisters fiancé and they fly out to Italy and he does the deed and she says yes. Happy note. But as school starts back up for the new semester, my partner had a issue to where he would be in a state to where he couldn’t move much due to a unusual circumstance. And before that we decided to put Gladys down. It was a tough decision but we gave her the best life we could ever had hoped for her and I was emotionally drained from everything. Having to keep a positive attitude for my students and going to school and being an adult in general. The only way I got thru this period is from my best friend and coworker who knows what it’s like to go through life and it’s always better to have an open mind and ear to talk to. I call her my mamma because she’s like a mother figure to me but also a amazing friend. Without her, I probably wouldn’t have been mentally there at all for anyone. In the time of summer until now I haven’t had a chance to practice because I forgot to mention that i had a Jr recital coming up which is why my repertoire was so big.

September:

After everything passed and I’m in a better mental state, I proceed to my schedule of school and work and find a time to practice in between. What’s great about this month is that since the semester just started, I had plenty of time to catch up on my practice and really get my lessons to become productive in shaping and understanding different musical styles. My partner is all better and life is great because I was in the best part of my life. Doing well in school, amazing texting job, and a best friend who is there for me and most importantly my partner. He’s been my rock since we first met and I can always rely on him and vice versa. He understood that with my free day off that I needed to spend it practicing and told me to go for it and be as productive as I can. I honestly wasn’t used to that kind of support but I am grateful.

October:

This is where reality hits and my recital is next month. I get very crazy about everything. I had all my music learned but because of my indecisiveness, I kept changing how I shaped everything and my mind goes blank. Probably a dark time for me because I didn’t know how to handle this kind of stress. I’ve put on hour long recitals before and the only thing different this time is that I’m getting graded and want to make such a great impression to further my education to a dictator degree. The dress was eating me alive and on top of that, one of my students decided he wants to enter in a competition and I say why not. Let’s do it. Getting him ready for that and keeping my sanity was hard to do but I managed. He did well, but not well enough to get a medal but his parents were very impressed with how quickly he progressed with me. That’s always a plus, right?

November:

The month has come for me to have my big recital and I invited all my friends and coworkers and they all made it. I was truly nervous but if you don’t get nervous, are you even human? It turned out wonderful although the first piece (Bach French suite) was shaky, I had to tell my self that I was having fun and everyone here is here to support me and want me to do well. That little talk was a confidence booster and ended the recital flawlessly. After my recital, my job has their student recitals so my focus was all on my students doing the best they can and having fun. This month was fun because I was selected to do masterclasses for piano students through out my job and it was very enlightening to see how talented the new generation of musicians are! Only positive comments because I couldn’t honestly find anything wrong with any of the students performances and their teachers are amazing.

December:

So getting all my students ready for their recital was a big time investment but totally worth it because they all performed so well and I honestly cried bc I felt like a proud parent LOL. But after that was time for the semester to end up and one class was making me go crazy. Everything ended well and I had ALL A’s and one B but I know what to expect for next semester and everything will be great. Honestly this year has me all sorts of fucked up with emotions and I proved to myself that when I stay committed, I can really achieve what I want. This year was a great year for me and a way to end a decade because when 2020 starts, I know what I need to do and where I need to be.

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hypnoscissorsghostnerd · 6 years

Text

25 Questions

tagged by: @hostilewitness-ao3 Thank you for giving me an opportunity to spiel about myself

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

rules: answer these questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better!

nickname: I’ve been getting a different variety since I know my user is super long. Hypno might be easier, but anything goes! I’m not picky (๑╹ω╹๑ )

zodiac: I am the two yin yang fishies tied by string

height: About 164 cm

time: ITS HIIIIIIGH NOOOOOOON (but no fr it’s 12p)

favorite band/artist: All time favorite? Bon Jovi is my babe. Jon Bon Jovi has the voice of an angel.

song stuck in my head: Memes. Consistently just memes.

last movie I saw: Captain America because Chris Evans ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

last thing I googled: Hayley Atwell because well...have you SEEN her in The First Avenger??

other blogs: I’m too lazy to maintain this just one. I am not responsible enough to maintain a second one lol

do I get asks: Rarely. Most of my comments/asks are sent to my AO3 inbox, but I reread them daily to keep me motivated (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

why did I choose this username: It was randomly given to me by the Tumblr gods. Usually I change it before starting anything, but I guess it just—stuck.

following: Specific blogs? That’s way too long. But fandoms/topics? Overwatch, Marvel, Pokemon, aesthetics, Red Dead Redemption 2, and whatever my irl friends post.

average amount of sleep: I work about 42 hours a week and my days usually start at 4:30 am. So usually 5-6 hours. I sleep in on Sundays, though.

lucky number: 27 because that’s how old Kakashi-senpai was when I first started watching Naruto 16 years ago. (I’m not that old...I was pretty young when I started watching it)

what am I wearing: Dunder Mifflin Paper Company hoodie and Hufflepuff sweats.

dream job: An editor or an author. I didn’t study English in college for no reason! (....but I’m also $30k in debt and still working retail....(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀))

dream trip: I grew up as a military brat so I’ve already seen half of Europe and Asia...but I really want to go to Hogsmeade because I’m a huge Potterhead. Le Hubby is taking me there for our honeymoon this summer and I’m so hyped!!!! Oh. And Greece is on the bucket list, too.

favorite food: Ramen. And not that cheap shit either I’m talking about the authentic Hokkaido noodle and a professional Japanese chef (๑╹ω╹๑ )

play any instruments: Flute, piccolo, bass guitar, piano, and clarinet. I’m more fluent with the flute and piano, though.

eye color: Hazel. Like honey brown but it turns super green when I’m upset or if I’m sick.

hair color: Brown with gold highlights. I think my hair stylist said she saw some red in there, too?? My genetics are all over the place.

describe yourself as an aesthetic: Earthy and nature-y???

languages you speak: English (obvs) , Japanese, Spanish, ASL, German, and a tidbit of Russian because my friend mumbles a lot to herself and I just kind of...picked it up. Can’t read it for shit tho.

most iconic song: J IGGGLE JIGGLE POP POP MY HIPS LET IT ROCK OK SWING LEFT SWING RI G HT PUT MY WEAAAVE IN TIG H T HIYAAAAAAH!!! Hit em with the BOOOOM DYNAMITE

random fact: I take being a Hufflepuff a little too seriously. The accuracy of Tumblr’s posts about Puffs’ personalities hurt me a little ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ I also always carry a kazoo in my bag with me and I have been for five years. You know. In case of a kazoo-mergency.

tagging: 20 is going to be hard but I’ll do my best:

@omgaligirl @gupiee @coldlykind @princeberrie @popsmart @ghostnyght

*Tina Belcher noise* I don’t know anymore and I’ll edit and repost if I missed any of my friends. I look forward to reading yours!

#hypnorambles #challenges #tags #friendship is magic

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dirtygirlsnursery · 5 years

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So there’s this place...

10 acres with an old 1930’s barn, retail store front, two homes, one original 1930’s, on a busy state highway. So I did what anyone would do, stare at it online for months, dreaming of such a location for a unique nursery retail place where “agritourism” (ie. pick your own/plant your own) can go Dirty Girls Nursery style!!! Dreaming of crazy giant planters stuffed and over flowing with succulents for people to enjoy as they shop or take selfies & have a cup of coffee while enjoying the ambiance of the old big barn that says “ROCK CITY” in giant rusty painted letters. For weeks every time I wanted to get anxious I would feel a calming, followed by

Wait.

Anxious....peace...

Wait.

Anxious....calm...

Wait.

Till Saturday 4/13: Newlyweds comes into my booth. I ask how their honeymoon went. She tells me all the exciting details and says, “We even got to go to Rock City!”.

—-EEEERRRRK!!! STOP. RIGHT. THERE.—-

“Excuse me?? There’s a place called ‘Rock City’?!”

“Oh yes...” and she continues to go on about all the big boulders... and honestly I glazed over at that moment. I felt this big green light flash

“NOW”!

Monday 4/15 I called the realtor

Wednesday 4/17 appointment confirmed to see the property

Thursday 4/18 book my flight

Sunday 4/21 fly out to Tennessee (...pause...did I mention it’s in Tennessee???... well, it’s in Tennessee...)

Monday 4/22 I see the property Tues 4/23 I fly back

Wednesday 4/24 unloading for market, I get a call my Son was hit by a car, he’s fine but man what a call to get. (Hit n run)

Thursday 4/25 morning put offer in. (I seriously had a gut feeling of EXACTLY how it was going to all go down. It went EXACTLY as it was shown to me in my brain! God was very clear! He was definitely using His "outside voice" in this transaction. Lol) Thursday, midday OFFER ACCEPTED!!!

I cannot recall a time in my life God has BULLDOZED my path in such a HUGE and MASSIVE WAY!!! Ever. Seriously. So here we are! In escrow for a property in Tennessee!! Crazy!! I am so excited! I know my excitement can come off as callous and cold hearted, please don’t take it that way. I know I will have to say goodbye. I don’t want to say bye, I want to take y’all with me!! Even tho you will see my face light up in excitement, there is a sadness to leave. So many of you have become my friends and so many of those friends have become family, dear to my heart. I love seeing your faces and getting to squeeze your necks. You will be missed without a doubt! Deeply!

I remember when I was brand new, paying market dues the first time on a Sunday, an exchange between vendors took place and Linda (the market manager) said, “The farmers market is like a family.” I walked away telling God in my heart I wanted to be apart of such a family. Well, God knew I was going to need lots of love these last couple years and an extended family would be just the thing! Thank you for being my extended family! For being apart as Dirty Girls Nursery was launched and got its start! It’s been so much fun and has gotten lots of chuckles! Now you get to watch Dirty Girls Nursery take on renovating an old barn into a “destination”! This journey will be one for the books! I am looking forward to sharing with you thru social media our journey in creating something epic!

Thru mixed emotions,

Your Fav. Dirty Girl,

Jennifer xoxo

#dirtygirlsnursery

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attract-mode-collective · 6 years

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"weLCUM to the motherfucking Queer matrixXx"

In part 1 of my recap of stuff tweeted during the later half of May, over at @AttractMode, I mentioned that one thing that kept me awfully busy… hence the backlog and two-part recap for Tumblr & Medium… was Death By Audio Arcade X Dreamhouse II.

The proper/full name of the soiree was Ova the Rainbow: DreamBoxXx, which is where most of these photos were taken, with a few from Death By Audio Arcade X Dreamhouse I; the photographer on the behalf of Gothamist was there for both opening & closing parties, to help add color to their story...

... BTW, the arcade will open one last time, this Friday (June 8th). Doors open at 7!

And as for the rest of last month... well... back to the subject of arcades for a sec; it’s a dream of many to have the full experience at home, though space is obviously the primary issue. Thankfully you (or your Lego minifigs to be exact) have options (via @ActionFigured)...

This Blast City shirt was designed on a CRT monitor, making it extra legit (no word if it was in TATE orientation tho; via theyetee.com)...

I basically know nothing about Avail, though appears to be a Target or H&M-like retail entity for Japan? Well recently they had a Gradius shirt for sale, but I missed my chance to save a copy of the PDF circular from which it made its seemingly sole appearance.

Hence why I had resort to blowing up this screencap (via miki800.com)...

There's actually a 2nd Gradius tee, and we thankfully have a far better look at it this time (via miki800.com)…

... I almost have to wonder if the 1st one was a mock-up or placeholder or something, cuz I seriously cannot find an image of it anywhere.

Few things get me as giddy as a nice 180 camera turn around with sprites (via segacity)...

And 3D turnarounds of polygonal characters are cool, provided that they’re watercolored (via typhlosionofficial)...

Same (via @BauceSauce)...

Sorry, but the sight of shelf after shelf, all bucking under the massive weight of countless carts & discs, is an eyesore IMHO. Instead, a modest pile of software with plenty of breathing room work best for me (via sixteen-bit)...

Such a beautifully personalized iPhone is essentially an iPhone for life (via miki800)...

A (video game) toy chest… a (video game) treasure chest… basically both? (via miki800)...

Remember hearing about Street Fighter 2 X Transformers? Well, they're finally here (via tfw2005.com)...

To be honest I have enough toys. Whereas I could always use more storage! Hence my interest in these SF2 USB sticks. But I can’t decide which World Warrior I want to see in such sad shape all the (via miki800.com)...

Time for another crossover, specifically Virtual On X bunny girls; a custom model kit of Angelan (via shop2000.com)...

A look at all the Tokyo Game Show poster girls since 2010 (via videogamesdensetsu)...

The first Famciase of 2018 to get my attention now has a fake ad to go with the fake game (via pepesalot)...

I'm 99.99% confident that this gaming set up/living quarters (via @miaumiauzmiau)...

... belongs to Polylina, aka Poririna, aka SEGA SATURN GAL (via this old post from a few years back)...

Note the similar pink curtains...

Who wears their Space Invaders shirt better? This guy (via shmups)…

Or this gal (via thesensualeye)...

The chairs for Space Invaders Frenzy has seen some serious shit (via oh-log-n)...

It’s a Space Invaders bathroom cuz why not (via it8bit)...

Nothing illustrates the harsh game making environment better than this one dev’s cardboard facade, underneath his desk, to emulate home (via videogamesdensetsu)...

Kitchen pantry cat’s prices are way better than bedroom closet cat’s (via @tatuya01)...

Memorial Day took place near the end of May, naturally, which meant another opportunity to repost my fave video starring the greatest soldier of the 20th century (via this other old post from years ago)...

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Memorial Day weekend was also when I decided to post a bunch of YouTube vids; remember that one explaining why wiggling Sonic 3D Blast for the Genesis produces a level select? Did you also remember to subscribe to the channel? If so, you’d already know how Sonic R did transparencies on the Saturn...

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Do you like Famiclones? Do you like Jackie Chan? Then you might like...

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... I ended up going down a Jackie Chan rabbit hole, which resulted in a high-quality version of the infamous soundtrack to Hong Kong 97. Which in turn led to the discovery that the loop is actually a small portion of a full-length song entitled "I Love Beijing Tiananmen".

Sorry to ask everyone to click out, but I have a limit on how many videos I can embed in a single post and all.

Come to see what NES game Bithead1000 broke the bank on, stay to hear him bitch about Trapper Keepers...

youtube

Spoilers: it was Metal Storm, and can you believe that it managed to grace the cover of Nintendo Power? Not complaining of, more impressed than anything else (via shmups)...

Time for some bonus Bithead1000, which I’m not posting cuz of the aforementioned technical limitation, plus it has nothing to do with games anyway: hearing him talk about old school rap made my Memorial Day and hopefully it'll make yours, no matter what date it is.

Yet another video I must abstain from embedding is Johnny Cage performs 4'33". Hopefully all of you fans of Mortal Kombat/experimental compositions/shitty webtoons do not feel slighted (via roman55)...

Another look at the “New Aero City” stick, this time with the intended color scheme of yellow for both the balltop & buttons (last time they were red, as seen here; via hibachicandy)...

It’s the guy made Metal Gear and the guy who made Kong: Skull Island, playing Xevious & Ikaruga (via xtheo.ca)...

The beginning of the ultimate road trip (via lazywaifus)...

Like many others, I spent an entire morning pouring over that epic game collection before it was set to be auctioned off at the end of the month; my wish list included a SuperGrafx, TurboDuo, CD-i, Nuon, and Donkey Kong for the OG GB sealed… (via bodnarsauction.com)...

Alas, I couldn’t make the trip to Edison, NJ for the auction. Thankfully, @textfiles could; be sure to check all the photos he posted on May 31 for all that he saw...

Am surprised it took this long to see something like this (via @gamesyouloved)...

… The same source also posted this Sonic gif; I’ve looked everywhere for the source but zero luck… can anyone point me in the right direction?

Back to the aforementioned auction, or should I say the mass acquisition of old games; it’s always been a secret plan to collect a bunch of Super FX carts in order to extract the chips, for... something? (via pixelpolygon)

Thought check out what the Mega Drive/Genesis can do without the help of any fancy chips (via vidgam)...

...BTW, am aware of the fact that equally amazing programmers can probably push the SNES in crazy ways if given chance.

Am also familiar with the SVP or Sega Virtua Processor that drove the 16-bit version of Virtua Racing (which I enjoy better than the 32X version).

Re: the auction one last time: so the real reason why I didn't bother with making that trip to Jersey? There wasn't a Divers 2000 CX-1 on-hand (via anthony10000000)...

Here’s someone really enjoying a game of Zaxxon (via arcadezen)...

And someone... well... maybe enjoying a game of Polybius? (via dualvoidanima)

Okay, so this gif ain’t related to video games per say, yet this came up in a Tumblr that I frequent for super cool shit, plus the music video it’s from is neat, so there ya go (via mendelpalace)...

Speaking of sources for content, worlds collided with the surprise appearance of Just One Boss (which I first encountered at Death By Audio Arcade's Lo-Fi Game Night several months back) at obscurevideogames...

Worlds continued to collide with the surprise appearance of Attract Mode's Dark Souls print by Judson Cowan, in a recent article in Kotaku on the subject of Dark Souls Remastered...

One last last thing: I’ve long considered Suzuki Bakuhatsu to be THE game that best represents the Attract Mode a e s t h e t i c & I’m super happy that the RetroPals finally got around to playing it...

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bishiglomper · 2 years

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So the good news.., my kidney doctor says my kidney is doing great. Still trying to convince me to go off my miloxicam tho. (Fite me (ง'̀-'́)ง ) They didn't test for everything the first urine sample they took so they made me pee again. Hopefully nothing changed in 24 hours. 👀

Last time I had protein in my urine; which I guess means kidney disease but this last labs said there was none. So.. Yay.

Bad news my blood labs said my A1C was super high.. Like 348 average. I think that's in the 12 range... Ive never been worse than 9. D;

My diet is no worse, I dont know why my body hates me. It's like I start a new med and it does a good job for a month or so. Then it backtracks twice as much, doing less than jack shit. orz

I texted my doc to invite her for birthday things. 'Cause I luffs her and miss her. She said she missed seeing me at the clinic. I was like "you know I just spent 30 minutes on hold trying to make an appointment this morning actually lol"

told her my bloodsugar was horrific and I guess she's gonna try to get some shit taken care of for me. Insurance is being an ass and not letting me get drugs and equipment i need. So i guess she's gonna try to fix it. 😍 she the best. I seriously hate asking for things, especially via her personal phone/time. 😬

On the ride back home I look over and my sissy has tears running down her cheeks. She said her brain was being mean to her. D;

I told her I had at least a $20, I'd host a retail therapy trip to goodwill. I offered to take her on a secret lunch trip to get her favorite fajitas. But she said no. 😒

She said something about brownies. I was like "...the edible variety or do I need to hire a new batch?" She cracked up at that. We've been discussing the house brownies a lot. They're riled up lately. 😆 Offerred to get her a copy of Animal crossing. To watch the kid for a few hours so she could play Diablo with her husband.. I tried to think of all the happy things. D8 she let me do goodwill at least.

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esseastri · 7 years

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Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 8)

AAAAANND WE’RE BACK!

Hello, fronds, apologies for the brief hiatus, but I had to pause the reading/liveblogging because I was busy finishing my novel. YEP, I FINISHED WRITING MY BOOK, WHOOO! And then it was December, and there was Christmas, and traveling, and retail job at Christmas, and Star Wars, and what little time I had to myself I spent chilling because I was exhausted, but ANYWAY, I’M BACK, FRONDS, LET’S GET ON WITH THIS.

Part 8 encompasses pages 557-666 (previous parts)

whooooops where did I leave off, OKAY INTERLUDES

Why...why are we doing anything near Aimia? Listen: Axies the Collector is cool, but two-thousand-cremlings-in-a-trench-coat was waaayyy too far over the horror line for me. I do not want more of this.

So...there’s a third storm? But this one is stationary and around Aimia?

MORE REASON NOT TO GO THERE

Whoa, that sure is a side effect of Soulcasting... #yikes

Or is it not soulcasting? Is it something Radiant?

Oh fuck. Fine. This is fine. You know, the previous Stormlight books didn’t have this much body horror in them.

Ahh, shit, wasn’t there an Oathgate on Akinah? I don’t want a direct line to two-thousand-cremlings-in-a-trench-coat.

“the creatures that accompanied the spren” So...like......their Cognitive shadows? the versions of them still in the Cognitive Realm even as bits of them manifest visibly in the physical? Or...something else?

I’m sorry, did they just...die?

What the

What even is Aimia, really?

Mmmkay, actually, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know the secret of Aimia, I am not interested in being EATEN by two-thousand-cremlings-in-a-trench-coat.

Genuis!Taravangian is an asshole. I’m not surprised, I’m just. Stating a fact.

!!!! Are his secretary and the Dustbringer a thing? Are they together? Get it, girls!

I still don’t trust the Dustbringer.

Aslo “the most likely to accept their cause” Why? Is the “cause” like...destroying the world? I don’t remember if we know the Diagram’s endgoals.

...There’s a danger line for the “too smart” end of the sliding scale? Smart.

Also his name is Vargo? Vargo Taravangian? hehehehehe

IT’S NOT ABOUT DESERVE.

I think I hate him.

Dumb question: if Taravangian wants to take over Alethkar--presumably so he can take over the world--then aren’t he and Dalinar working toward the same goal? They both want a unified Roshar. So why kill Dalinar instead of working with him? The logical solution is to work with him, since he’s more charismatic and has a higher chance of actually succeeding, and then kill him off after he’s succeeded in laying the groundwork, and take over from there?

Not that I’m encouraging this, I’m just saying: Taravangian needs to sort out his priorities.

“kill those children” seriously, fuck this asshole, what a douchecanoe.

Also Renarin the wild card HECK YES.

The farming question can be easily answered: Progression.

Not all the Radiants’ powers were battle powers.

“the part of the world that mattered” OH FUCK YOU. That’s not how it works. It’s not about deserve. It’s about having the ability to help, which gives you the responsibility to help. If you can, then you should. No exceptions. No “matters”. Everyone matters. Everything matters. Everyone deserves to be saved.

Except maybe Kylo Ren, but that’s a different story.

Buddy. Odium already made a deal. He wants out of it now. Also he’s not a spren or a god, so why should your pathetic rules hold him?

Oh. Duh. Somehow I didn’t connect Listeners and gemhearts? But of course they do. How else would they bind spren? They infuse their hearts.

Oooohhhhh snap, they done got possessed.

Aw, Venli...things not going your way anymore?

Idk, I should feel bad for her, but I don’t? She brought this on herself. And on her friends. And on her sister, who is still dead. This is her fault.

“The listener gods were not completely sane.” I mean, idk what you expected.

Though, neither are our gods, so I guess we can’t talk.

Seriously, what did Alethkar do to them?

Oh. Wait. Where was Jezrien from? King of the Heralds, right? Prooobably his idea to make the OAthpact? His fault they were bound? That’s probably what Alethkar did to them...

Oooh, the new epigraphs are from the library at Urithiru! Heck ye, Radiant archives!

Though Taln and the Stonewards need to take a chill pill on the self-sacrificing front, apparently.

(Eks would be a Stoneward, pass it on)

Wait, no, hold on--the whole of part three with no Moash pov? But I’m WORRIED about MY BOY.

I’m unnecessarily suspicious of literally every guard that’s not Bridge Four. But particularly of this Rial guy. What is he, Bridge Thirteen? I don’t trust him. At all. He’s too...glib? with Dalinar to be a proper bridgeman. Around other bridgemen, fine, but with Dalinar? I don’t trust it.

I’m with Navani. “The greasy man is...unfitting.”

ooohh, Dalinar...... he “reminds him of friends from the old days.” Tho, bud, how many of those died, betrayed you, or left to become ardents?

Dalinar should know by now to just...not trust people implicitly. Always question.

I really, genuinely can’t imagine how awkward Kaladin and Shallan’s excursion to Theylan City was. Didn’t they fly? Shallan was probably all SCIENCE!! about it and Kaladin was definitely grumpy “let me fly in peace” boy. Nerds.

Sorry, hold on--you’re counting on Kaladin “Impulsive” Stormblessed and Adolin “Disaster Bi” Kholin to make sure Elhokar doesn’t do anything stupid? That’s like asking two kittens to babysit the new puppy.

“I can’t afford to lose you.” AAaaahhh

omg, no, don’t give Kaladin land. What will he do with it? Turn it into the Land of Misfit Bridgecrews?

Five times...so what’s it been, 50 days? Not even? That’s so little time!!

“Or is someone else receiving [the prayers] instead?” ...Isn’t that just the most chilling thought.

There has to be an explanation beyond “The Heralds are nuts” for Shalash to be erasing herself from visual records.

I’m sorry, rockbuds blossom? and have fragrance? Stop and smell the rockbuds?

“I am a diplomat.” Yeah, and I’m a rockbud.

How is Taravangian such a good actor? Or is he really this emotional on days when he’s not a raging asshole of a genius?

Aw yis, non-hereditary monarchy! I love!

“Does it involve punching someone?” It’s Dalinar, so, what do you think?

“Stone-sinew, Herald of Soldiers.” But...Taln’s focus is bone? Ishar is sinew?

I suppose “Stone-bone, Herald of Soldiers” would be a little too ridiculous-sounding...

brb, changing my url to “stone-bone-herald-of-soldiers”

“It was as if Odium had a grudge against this one in particular.” SAD ABOUT TALN FOREVER: THE MEGAN STORY

I s2g Dalinar is the most Extra son of a bitch in all of Roshar.

HOw do I prove I’m not trying to take over your country? I know! I’ll let you stab me through the chest! This is the BEST IDEA.

oooooooo Tension, maybe?

TENSION!! THIS SHIT IS SO COOL OMG

Also his special power--resonance? right?--is listening and that’s delightful. Or...I’m guessing that’s what it is.

Heck ye, Renarin!

“Strength and passion, the Vorin way.” In other words...Honor and Odium....hmm

So it’s Kaladin, Elhokar, Shallan, Adolin, Skar, Drehey, and...who? Some other bridgemen? It’s gonna be a fun roadtrip, tbh.

Buddy, Shallan ignoring her problems IS a problem! Don’t support this impulse! Don’t encourage this!

omg of COURSE Adolin hates flying. Nerd.

“No wisecracks about missing boots?” No, because that wasn’t funny.

“First assess the area for danger, get the lay of the land. Then gawk.” I LOVE MY SON SO MUCH, WHAT A TRAVEL NERD, BUT ALSO #SAME BRO

...we knew that Elhokar had a kid, but every time I’m reminded of it, I get really weirded out. He’s not old enough to be a dad.

PLease meet up with Moash. Please. I’m dying. My crops are failing. My skin is dry. Help me.

the advantage of living through Bridge Four is that you can sleep well anywhere? Well, I mean. I GUESS That’s an advantage. Sort of.

OH of COURSE it’s an Unmade. We do have eight more of those to encounter and deal with.

Whose is this though? Kaladin’s? Or are Elhokar or Adolin finally going to manifest?

(This is assuming that my theory about there being one Unmade for each order of Radiants to defeat is sound.)

Elhokar is trying so hard to be good.

Also Shallan is mean to Kaladin again, news at nine. *rolls eyes*

So, it’s going to be Kaladin’s Unmade then.

Elhokar, you know that the more you tell yourself you’re going to fail, the more likely you will? Stop it. Have confidence.

“Adolin made you want to laugh with him.” Yeah, he doesn’t punch down.

Also, the Kadolin is REAL, and I’m living.

Kaladin really is too good for this world.

I’m sorry, the fancy lighteyes’ gated villas have guards to keep the refugees off their perfectly manicured lawns? Fuck that. Fuck them.

“I needed someone I’d trust with my life, or more. So I brought us to my tailor.” THIS CHILD IS A DISASTER AND I LOVE HIM

Oh snap! we’ve made it halfway through the book!

“Even his voice was adorable.” HONESTLY, people who don’t ship Shadolin: how? It’s so pure and good and supportive and wonderful!

How did Aesudan know the parshmen were voidbringers? And why did she order them killed only to desert the city?

I suppose fabrials do trap and use spren, right? So it makes sense that the yellowgold...voidspren? would be offended by that sort of...I guess, spren enslavement? Sort of? But why are they so concentrated here? Which Unmade is it and what does it do other than corrupt other spren? and influence people.

How To Corrupt Spren and Influence People, a new bestseller by Odium, found in stores near you!

“I am the only one here who has confronted one of the Unmade directly.” Yeah, you, the Kholin bros, and most of Bridge Four who protected you while you did your thing. But sure.

Kaladin, when will you stop seeing your brands as part of yourself and let yourself heal?

Aw, I’m proud of her, admitted Veil is--oh. “They are both equally fake.” Hon, no... please. Talk to someone about this.

Aharietiam, or as I like to call it, “that other stupidly long and impossible-to-pronunce “A”-word.”

Sorry, but the fact that Shallan takes pleasure in pissing Kaladin off-- “he glared at you in the most satisfying of ways” --is really....gross. Uncomfortable. I’m not here for it.

Like, yeah, teasing is fine, but like... if it strays over from teasing into Actively Pushing Someone’s Buttons Just to Make Them Angry, then it’s BAD, okay? It’s really bad. I can say from experience: it’s very bad.

Well, I mean, that explains why no one’s come back from the palace.

“As a connoisseur of things that have killed me...” honestly. what are we up to now? Poison bread. Shipwreck and drowning. Run through with a sword. Dear god, child, you need to be more careful.

Kaladin making bad puns and smiling is giving me life though. Petition for more.

So, the Skybreakers and the Windrunners did not get along? Justice vs. Honor, I suppose...not unexpected. Especially is one is corrupted.

Isn’t Ishar...Bondsmiths? Herald of Luck? Are you sure?

“He is now as mad as the rest. More, perhaps.” Yeah, I got that vibe from Edgedancer.

Shit. Of course he set himself up as a god-king.

(He and the Lord-Ruler should make t-shirts.)

Dangit, Ishar founded the Oathpact, so bang goes that theory about Jezrien and Alethkar and the listeners.

“The Stormfather hated to be misquoted.” Pppfffft.

HECK YE, Bridge Four got a sword!!

Also omg Navani invented alarm clocks. Bless her.

She packed him lunch! BLESS THESE ADORABLE NERDS. God, they are ridiculous.

Dalinar hitching a ride to Azir with Jasnah and her just going, “Byyyeeeeee” and leaving him alone is HILARIOUS to me.

I wonder if the color of the gemstones in the epigraphs correspond to the radiant orders. Like, if the Windruners recorded in sapphire, and the Lightweavers recorded in garnet, etc.

Okay, I went back and checked, and that seems legit. I’m going to guess that’s been #confirmed by people who finished this book earlier than me, but listen.

“covered by a magnificent bronze dome” Lift voice: “boobies” Me: snrk

SPIRITUAL ADHESION!? WTF THIS IS SO COOL

OMG, he brought them an essay, that’s magnificent. Especially because they all had to write essays to apply to be king. Or.. Prime? WHATEVER THAT’S HILARIOUS AND I LOVE AZIR SO MUCH

hello, I love Jasnah, this is news to no one, but girl wrote an essay in rhythmic meter and *melts*

...the Azish parshmen negotiating for pay is...very Azish of them. And the Alethi parshmen gathering for war is very Alethi. And the Theylan parshmen sailing off into the sunset is very Theylan of them.

HA, Dalinar just said the same thing in the next paragraph, go me.

LIFT ATE HIS LUNCH, I LOVE HER, HELLO BBY I’VE MISSED YOU

“The crazy spren who lives in the forest.” 1. I love Lift a lot. 2. uuhhh...we know the Heralds are crazy, and I assumed Odium was crazy, but Cultivation, too?? Is ANYONE here sane anymore?

oh wow they agreed.

didn’t...see that coming. Not with so much book left.

OOOHHH SNAP HE REMEMBERS. HERE WE GO HERE WE GO AAHHHH

Every time I’m reminded that Adolin is only, like, 24yo, I have to tell myself that I was about that old when WoR came out and he’s not actually a child.

Anyway, 12yo Adolin is a gift. “Neat!” this kiddo aahhh

“It was gratifying to see how much one could accomplish in both politics and trade by liberally murdering the other fellow’s soldiers.” PUNK!DALINAR NEEDS TO LOOK AT HIS LIFE AND HIS CHOICES AND RECONSIDER HIS WORD CHOICE AT THE VERY LEAST

hugs are un-Alethi. this is why they have so many issues. they are emotionally constipated from lack of hugs.

“The other son” fuck you, punk!Dalinar

also “she’d never be a great scribe” yeah, that’s ‘cause she’s left-handed, you Vorin jerks

haaaa, he has a point. That even if he and Gavilar know that he wouldn’t ever betray Gavilar for the throne, Gavilar’s advisors aren’t stupid and will find reasons for Dalinar to be...elsewhere.

“Storms, I don’t deserve her, do I?” NO YOU FREAKING DON’T

tbh, I’m not even sure present-day Dalinar deserves her. Like, he’s better now, but he’s still... a soldier. He’s still a strategist. And Evi deserves a soft, gentle person who loves her.

Evi deserves the world, tbh, and I’m Upset because she’s going to die and I’m going to be Sad.

#op #Megan reads OB #Oathbringer spoilers #Stormlight Archive #Oathbringer #Brandon Sanderson #I'm back y'all #hopefully I will finish this book by New Year's...we'll see if I manage it but that's the goal #thanks for your patience everyone!

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subetaspeaks · 8 years

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RE: CW WL Trading

So... I'm one of the persons you all love to hate, sadly. And I have been debating if I should or shouldn't reply here because... well, I don't feel like I'm a bad person and I didn't want to be the target of everyone else hate. Mostly because I adore to death a lot of the users who commented on that post. You're all my fellow game companions. And some of you I can even call my "friends", why not? You've been bearing with me through so much.

But... I need to be honest with my feelings. I need to say what I think now, before I regret, and face all the possible consequences, including having everyone else hate. Because otherwise, I would be heartbroken for not being honest with myself and standing for what I am or what I believe.

I was talking to Ursa about this post, because she commented that: "im just passing by to say that i thiiink voltage and varsna’s stories seem to be about the same person (tho i have no clue who it is) and i giggled when i read" and well... I believe I'm the person VOLTAGE was talking about, but I wasn't the one who Varsna spoke about. So I messaged her to say that she was wrong about her statement and I decided to vent.

I will copy what I said to her here. I hope you can... well, respect me and my point of view, maybe? Make an effort to not hate me to death? Please.

To Ursa: "It's somewhat sad, you know? I can totally understand everyone's anger. I've missed slotting on stuff I wanted before... tons of times, actually. I just don't blame other people, that are just trying to pursue their own interests and 'happiness' (even considering that this is an online game!). I honestly don't see why the wish of certain person of having a particular item is better than the wish of someone else to get items out of their WL, for an example. In the end, everyone is just pursuing their own interests, plain and simple. The whole problem isn't caused because people are "greedy"; the main problem is that the market is shrinking and the items are becoming more and more ultra-limited because most people cannot fill slots easily. And the blessed ones, owners of popular releasers, are afraid of rising their batch caps and their beloved items ended up turning common and not filling slots easily as almost every other stuff around. Of course, there're exceptions. There are people who actually just want their items to be rarities after all. People are somewhat quitting Subeta and the CW game for multiple reasons. And the problem is a non-stopping circle. The old rarer popular items will become "trade only" and the new popular items will have tons of slotters that are mainly interested on using them for trading purposes. In the end, all items will be on the hands of people who genuinely like them a ton. But people will still hate each other for silly reasons like "this person has lots of popular stuff that I want but she doesn't accept CSC, I hate her, that [insert bad names here, tons of them]". This is plain stupid and it should stop. Why on Earth is the other person, who is just searching for whatever their want to, is any worse than you that's also searching for stuff you want to? Why the other person is "greedy, egoist" and you're not? I'm failing to see this at all. But.. tell me one thing. Does anything makes you more happy than doing your art? You might find a list of some things, but... isn't it something you love to death? Making your art, I mean? And how do you feel when people start with that bullshit of "you should make your art because you love it, not for money" or "making art isn't a proper job"? And things like that. Everyone that works with art already felt this venom before. The venom of the idiots who can't recognize the value of your job because they don't have interest, talent or simple doesn't know how much you WORK (and you work hard!) to make art properly. Let me introduce myself, then. Four years of Economic college; graduating next May. Will try to get a Master degree whenever I finally set down from moving, I'm going to live in a different city soon. Business courses in accounting and external relations. Six years studing custom laws, especially in terms of taxation and importation rules. Seven years of work with importations and general reselling; two non-official (regular person who buys and sell stuff) and five as a legalized importer/small company. And you know what's the poison I get from society? "Being a reseller/merchant/working with commerce in general isn't a proper job, you're just a greedy parasite of society! You're winning money by extorting others! Your capitalist pig!" Subeta is basically a real life economic/market simulator and that was why I got so interested on it (and on Neopets, previously). The CW market is not very different from the real market. There are the producers (artists), the distribuitors (releasers), the retailers or resellers or the "evil within" as people sometimes name us (in this case, the people who slot on popular stuff for trading purposes or maybe to resell for a little bit more) and........... the customers. The main difference is that in real life you have the government, tons of taxes to pay and rules to follow. Here, things are simple but the prejudice is basically the same. But in the end, you'll still need to rely in your ability to differentiate a bad from a good deal. And you'll be also needing to "be on the right place at the right time" to grab the good opportunities, which isn't not always a matter of luck as people say. I would say that a good part of the times it's a matter of effort. You can be "lucky" to be online in the exact time of a certain ping, but if you want to be there for most of them... you'll have to be updating Subeta's page on your phone at every few minutes (even while doing other things) to check pings. And this is effort, not luck. The same applies to CWs, as well. Slotting is a part of the business game. You'll have to be quick to differentiate a good from a bad deal. Some deals are obviously good, while others aren't that easy to identify. You'll need to observe a lot to see what is trendy, what would be possible trendy and in the end... make a bet. Will you be able to get a trade for that item that the releaser is offering (if you don't want it for yourself)? Or you'll end up giving up and reselling for slot price? Or will you fail completely and end up having to sell the item for even less than slot? That isn't very different from the things I do for a living. The main difference is that when I "bet" here, I might end up losing $5 or so per item (doing the CSC-real money conversion) and in real life, when I bet on the wrong product, I end up with a loss of $5000 and tons of boxes of repeated things that I don't have where to store anymore. My office is small and I don't even have a room in my house anymore. It pretty much looks like a deposit. There are boxes everywhere and I barely can even walk inside of it. xD I believe I have made the house looks like a secondary deposit, honestly. LOL That isn't, in the end, any different from what I do. It's just a matter of scale and the fact that Subeta is a game. That isn't any different from my job. That isn't any different from the only thing I have devoted my life to study. That isn't any different from the only thing that I'm, apparently, good at. That isn't any different from the only thing I really love doing, above anything else. And this kind of judgement that people do hurts, even after all these years. I'm here to have fun as everyone else. I already face enough judgement on real life. I wish I could be free from judgement here, at least. It saddens me so badly that people think that the only thing I am decent at (and love above all) is garbage, an unworthy work. I've been in-and-out depression for years because of that. One day, I hope the society poison doesn't affect me anymore and I can be 100% happy with what I do. One day, I hope that my heart turns into a skyscraper business building, with glassy walls fully sound-proof, so I will not be affected by the opinions of others. For now, I'll have to content myself with being in my small office, opening the windows and trying to breath some fresh, not poisoned air. ^^ Sorry for the huge venting. I should probably have written on Subeta Speaks instead but... I don't want to be the witch during inquisition again. Seriously, I already have to interpret that character a lot. If I have to be the evil on the life storyline, I hope I can at least be that villain that people sympathize with... you know? I hope I can be at least that kind of villain, after all.

You're an artist and I'm a merchant. We've different kinds of poison that we've to face. Can we put them in bowls and have a little toast? To success and good riddance! ^^ "

Oh, Voltage!! I forgot mentioning. The milkshake is still with me, in case you're curious to know where it went. I've put it UFT in my trades and then a lightining striked me: "Well, this one was 4 batches anyway and my WL is at a beyond-hell level of difficulty anyway so... I think that it's time for me to finally keep one of those! Yay!" So I snuggled it and put it back into the Wardrobe. In case you're still curious about where are the other copies that I slotted on, they're with close friends of mine and have found their forever homes. Don't worry.

It's not that I don't like them. I honestly do, a lot. I swear. And I like you too, a lot, I hope you know that. The problem is that while I have 100+ CW wigs that I like in my Wardrobe, I barely even have 30 chest/body/outfits that I like to use. I'm picky with those (or to express myself better: I have bad taste and layering troubles!) and the ones that I don't own and like are "trade only" so.... yep. I hope you're not angry with me anymore. ;-;

Not that the most fun part of the CW game itself, at least for me, isn't the hunt to get slots/selling/buying/trading/haggling thing. It's. In the end, owning the CWs that I like is just a consequence of playing the CW market game correctly.

And the game is fun on itself. As my job is. The fun part isn't in making a huge amount of money, no. It comes from the happiness I feel when I find out that I have chose the right product among many. The profit is just a happy consequence... and hell, losses happen a lot too. But I don't wanna talk about those, please. Let's talk about something else. HAHAHAHA ;_;

And mmmm.... again, I'm sorry everyone. I hope you can understand.

(and sorry for the suck'ish English too, I think it's very clear that it's not my main language after all :P)

TL;DR

I suck. Please love me anyway.

#subeta #custom wearables #user #submission

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28dayslater · 6 years

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Anon I read your submission, posted my response under the cut bc it got long lmao

1. I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all! You’re not into full on mature student territory for about another decade. Loads of people delay uni for a few years so there’ll be some there a bit older, and 22/18 isn’t such a huge age gap that you’re gonna be wildly out of touch- one of my mates at uni was I think 3 years older than the rest of us and I never even guessed, I found out two years in bc it just didn’t come up. You’re gonna have to talk to 18yos at some point in seminars or whatever but you’ll always have the common ground of what you’re studying to talk about so you can definitely see if you can make friends through that. Other than people on your course, unis have loads of societies- mine had a societies fair during freshers week so if yours has anything similar go and check it out, see if there’s anything you’re into and give it a go, you’re gonna meet people with the same interests as you and get that social circle a little bit wider. & I know clubbing and binge drinking is a huge part of student culture but you absolutely don’t have to do it, especially once you get into second/third year where people are taking their degree more seriously a lot of them don’t go out at all. I’d check out freshers tho bc it is a good laugh and the drinks are impossibly cheap. Wrt being trans and not having friends, the thing about uni is that you don’t know anyone there, it’s a total fresh start. Everyone’s in the same boat on day one, no one knows anyone. You’re meeting everyone there for the first time, and they don’t know anything about you, so you’re free to start anew. Also bc there’s so many students there’s a level of anonymity- at a school where there’s like 150 people in your year people are gonna talk about you bc they know you, at uni where there’s thousands of students no one cares enough about one person as bad as that sounds lmao.

2. I can’t say if this is gonna be the same everywhere but my uni did a compulsory module in the first term of first year that was all about how to analyse literature and write essays at a uni level just to get everyone prepared for the rest of the work, so there’s probably a good chance yours will have something similar? Your lecturers know people are going in blind and that they’re not gonna be writing at dissertation level on day one, and they want to help you out. If you have trouble writing an essay or you didn’t really get a lecture or something, pick a lecturer who seems nice and drop them an email asking if you can meet them or go to their office hours- they really don’t mind helping you out and most of them would much rather you ask for some extra help than suffer on your own. You’ll get assigned a personal tutor as well (I think this is universal, I can’t see anywhere not doing it) and they’re really good to go to if you have any issues bc they’re literally there to help you with them. With essays as well the bare bones of it are really simple- you get your topic, make an argument about it (an example I wrote an essay on is ‘Outlander is misogynist and reflects the backlash against feminism in the 80s’) and then justify why by picking out bits of the source material that support that. What’s gonna help you most with that is genuine interest in what you’re writing, and knowing the subject well, and neither of those have anything to do with essay experience or A levels. Unis have support available for non-academic things too, they’ve got careers advisors and student support centres and that, and those are all there for you to use.

3. I think it’s absolutely worth it! You love learning, and you’re obviously passionate about the subject, and that’s gonna help you SO much with it because you’re gonna actually have fun doing the work. When I was doing my essays I struggled a lot with modules like modernism and literary theory bc I hated it but when I got to choose things I was actually interested in I actually enjoyed writing the essays, I got complete freedom when I was choosing what to write my dissertation on and I had so much fun doing it. Stuff like not having experience writing is something you can work past but genuine love for the subject is something not everyone’s gonna have. And yeah you could spend the next fifty years working retail but sometimes you gotta take a risk and do something you really really want to do, because otherwise what’s the point? Obviously yeah you will come out with a shitload of debt but you only have to pay back a small percentage once you’re earning over 21k a year so it doesn’t really affect your life. I’m not gonna tell you to fuck it off and keep working retail, LIVE YOUR DREAMS

4. YES I’m so so glad I went to uni! I completely fucked it up and came out with an incomplete degree and have gone back to working retail but even so I enjoyed it so much and it was really good for me! I think stuff like living away from home and having my own money to pay my rent with were really good for my independence like it really made me grow up. I look back at 2015-era Alex and I’m like “who WAS that bitch?” There’s this kind of culture at uni as well where the lecturers are like “if you don’t want to come to lectures or do work or whatever, you’re an adult and it’s your choice and no one’s gonna chase you about it” and it’s so different from school bc it’s like, you get treated like an adult and no one’s gonna kick off at you for missing a seminar, but you have to make the conscious choice to do work, so it kind of forces you to grow up and get on with it. Also I had a lot of times at uni that were miserable bc I was dealing with depression and I never tried to get any help, but I also met and lived with one of my best friends in the world, and I think that about makes up for it. I think in general uni is what you make of it, and if you go in wanting to learn and make friends and enjoy yourself, you’re probably gonna have a good time.

If you’ve got anything else you want to ask about or you just wanna talk, feel free to dm me, I’m always here to talk :^)

Also: very jealous of the year in Iceland, that sounds extremely cool

#anonymous

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variantia · 7 years

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Bellum. part of me is seriously considering going back to my old job even tho I didn’t really like it. I miss having my own money, and there aren’t a lot of jobs around here that aren’t retail anyway.

I mean, I’ll wait till I can talk to the hiring manager at the one place in town I applied to, because I really want that job. but I’ve already inquired twice. twice they took down my info, said they’d leave it for the boss, and I got nothing back. maybe it’ll be better if I talk to the hiring manager in person.

I dunno. I’m just frustrated and deperessed right now I guess. I don’t know what to do.

#negative #(( I guess?? ))#Ｂｅｌｌｕｍｈｅｒｅ！ | ｏｏｃ

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xxamity0parkxx · 7 years

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Five Things ;)

Tagged by @mika-hime I love getting tagged in these things xD

five things you’ll find in my bag ⤷ my wallet (which 99% of the time only has about $2 in it) ⤷ receipts from places I go to (which I then casually forget about and leave them there to die) ⤷ same goes with candy wrappers. The only times I have my bag, I’m at really weird and random places where I have no idea where the trash can is. And because I’m awkward and don’t wanna ask strangers, I just drop them in there xD) ⤷ gum gum gum gum lots of gum ⤷ my phone (cause pockets just aren’t a thing for any of my pants sadly xD)

five things you’ll find in my bedroom ⤷ random snack foods I eat while editing ⤷ 1000001 warm fluffy blankets (usually with Disney characters on them ;)) ⤷ art supplies and college boxes I don’t know what to do with and make furniture into ⤷ clothes thrown all over the floor (it’s a real problem xD) ⤷ DISNEY LOTS OF DISNEY STUFF

five things that make me happy ⤷ my family :3 ⤷ all of my friends (both irl and here on the web - I LOVE YOU GUYS!! <3) ⤷ pariel I meannnnn.... ⤷ cloudy/cold weather (it sounds weird, but I love it when the temperature is colder so that I can wear all my warm, fluffy sweaters I actually look decent in xD) ⤷ art (while I can’t even come close to being good at it, I LOVE looking at and experiencing art)

five things I’m currently into ⤷ watching baking shows (seriously, I DON’T EVEN BAKE! Like. You don’t understand. I legit don’t like cooking! xD) ⤷ aladdin (this whole elements contest has literally made me so protective of him. He might even be above Phillip on my “men I wish I could marry” list! *le gasp*) ⤷ these little empanadas microwave thingies made from pumpkin and cinnamon that are so good and just have a perfect crunch yet it all melts in your mouth like ohmygoshhhhh!! I rarely go for Mexican food (even tho it’s probably a poor example of Mexican food hahaha) but that is heaven right there!! #gonnadiehappy ⤷ CHEESE & POTATOES (although I am always obsessed with those xD) ⤷ Procrastinating #foreverandalways

five things on my to-do list ⤷ finally figure out AE so I don’t have to kill myself as fast with masking :’) ⤷ get through all this stupid college crap I keep getting thrown into and finally get my freakin diploma xD ⤷ do an original, at least semi-full-length vid/project within the next couple months (my inner me is laughing at the fact I think I can do this hahaha x’D) ⤷ catch up on the 10 billion shows I’ve missed ⤷ go on a roadtrip and meet all you awesome, fellow North American-Continent editors! (and hopefully someday travel overseas to see the rest of you fabulous peeps) ;)

five things people may not know about me ⤷ I’ve only ever lived in one state (my Idahome <3) ⤷ I am TERRIFIED of talking to people I don’t know face-to-face. Online, it’s much easier for me (made working in retail a year ago veryyyyy interesting xD) ⤷ I love watching documentaries about *dramatic pause* .... murder!! Not so much the fact or method someone was killed, but the whole investigating portion of it. ⤷ When I buy new clothes, it takes me forever to finally wear them cause I’m always scared I’ll ruin them x’D ⤷ I love the sound of rain but I can’t stand the smell of it (it always smells like wet dog to me, idk how or why hahaha)

Now I tag: @annnarchist ; @arisayoshida ; @night130 ; @mandssimons ; @animagix101 ; @blissbirdie & whoever else would like to do it ;)

#random facts about me #I'm such a spazz xD #tagged #aboutme #myrambles

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