#like seriously I want one it’s gotta be cool and clever

[minisugakoobies]

Sunny! I’d like to request #5 on the dirty texts with anyone - smutty dealers choice!

Ooooh, dealers choice?? Hmmm… I gotta go Yoongi on this one, I have not (and will never) recovered from the D Day tour. 😵‍💫

This was supposed to be a drabble but it's well over 1k so… sorry about that!! 💕

Title: Out of the Bag Now Pairing: Yoongi x Reader Genre: friends to lovers?, a bit cracky, smut, Coworkers!AU Rating: M(18+) Warnings: accidentally dirty texts, misunderstandings, mutual pining, masturbation (m), almost turns into phone sex, reader is flustered af (in the best way!), ends on a cute note, prompt is highlighted in bold

You: Okay, so we have everything ready for the presentation tomorrow?

Yoongi: Yeah, we're good to go

Yoongi: Nothing to worry about, so try to get a good night's sleep

Yoongi: I know you didn't sleep before March's shareholder meeting

Glancing at the last text message, you sigh wistfully.

For over a year now, you've been madly in love with your coworker, Min Yoongi. Ok, love might be stretching it a bit. You're wildly in lust with the man.

He's everything you've ever wanted in a partner - cool, calm, collected, clever as fuck with an acerbic wit that always makes you laugh (while praying that you'll never been on the receiving end of its sharp sting). Plus, he's absolutely gorgeous, the kind of guy that people would use an example of "have you ever seen a man so beautiful you cried?"

Or maybe that's just you.

But he is strikingly handsome, and makes your knees go weak when he favors you with one of his rare smiles. They usually come out when he's being sweet to you. Like when he's making sure you're getting enough sleep.

So yeah, you're head over heels for him. If only you had the guts to do anything about it.

You: I'll try

You: But you too! No late night movie marathons again, Yoongi

You: Boss's orders

That's just a dumb joke between the two of you. You're colleagues, on the same level, but Yoongi had insisted that you take the lead on this project, since you had more familiarity with the product than he did. Another check in the "pros" column - he's a man who supports his other colleagues and isn't afraid to take orders.

Yoongi: Yes boss

Yoongi: You can't see it but I'm saluting you right now

He sends a few emojis through and you giggle. For the last few weeks, the two of you have been texting back and forth after hours. It's mostly shop talk, but lately the conversations have dragged on and on, drifting into the late night hours. As this one has. You've already finished your nightly skincare and have moved on to your dental routine.

Yoongi: Seriously though, try not to stress about tomorrow

You: Honestly, I'm not! I'm feeling pretty confident about this

Yoongi: Good. Then you can just relax tonight

You: That's the plan

You balance your phone in one hand while using your electric toothbrush with the other. Yoongi cracks a joke, and your response is a little mangled by your sole thumb's lack of dexterity.

You: Sorry abour any typos

You: I'm like typing with one hand

Three grey dots dance across your screen for a few seconds.

Yoongi: Oh shit, you're REALLY relaxing. I didn't realize it was that type of conversation

You spit into the sink, brow furrowing as you reread his message. What does he mean by that?

Then you scroll up and nearly scream. "I'm like typing with one hand"?? Oh my god, why the fuck did you say that to him? He doesn't know that you meant you were brushing your teeth!

Frantically, you start typing out a response, erasing and starting over a few times, trying to figure out the best way to say "hey no I'm a dumbass who was just brushing my teeth and not touching myself to you" even though the fact is that you have touched yourself while thinking about him, several times actually, but that's neither here or there -

and then a new message appears.

Yoongi: Hold on, let me catch up

Excuse me??

Your phone buzzes with an incoming call and you nearly throw it into the sink in shock when you see that it's Yoongi calling. It takes a few seconds for the command to answer the call to get from your brain to your finger.

"Yoongi?"

A happy sigh greets you. "Fuck, that's better. Wanted to hear your voice."

The floor seems like the safest place to be right now, so you collapse onto it, leaning back against the cabinets under the sink.

"You did?"

"Oh yeah. You've got such a pretty voice, YN. Bet it sounds even sweeter when you're coming," Yoongi rumbles, that's the only word for it, he rumbles in that deep-ass voice of his, and you slide until you're just lying on your back, staring up at the bathroom ceiling, waiting for death to claim you, because how the fuck are you supposed to go on living after this?

"I - um - thank you?"

Yoongi laughs, but there's a slight hiccup in it, and it dawns on you what he's doing right now while he's talking to you. He's catching up. Images flood your brain - Yoongi lying on a couch, or maybe on a bed, hand tucked into his pants, fingers wrapped around a hard cock - and you choke on your own saliva.

"You ok?"

"Yeah! Yes. I'm fine, thank you."

He chuckles again, and it's physically impossible but you swear you can feel the vibrations through the phone. "You sure? You sound a little flustered."

"Oh, I'm sorry." What the fuck are you supposed to be saying to him right now? You're pretty sure it's not apologizing, but that's what you do anyway.

"Don't be. It's really cute."

Well thank fuck for that.

"Yoongi," you steady yourself with a deep breath, "what I said earlier… I didn't mean I was touching myself."

Silence. A lot of silence. It's a relief when he speaks again, but it fades quickly as you catch the disappointment in his voice.

"Oh shit, really? I - fuck." Now who's flustered? "What - what were you doing?"

"Brushing my teeth."

"Oh. Huh." He sighs, sounding deflated. "Guess I just jumped to a conclusion that I… wanted."

"Oh," you echo. "That's…" Incredible? Unbelievable? The best thing you've heard since you were born?

"Listen, YN, I'm so sorry. This whole thing was just - fuck, just really inappropriate, and if I've made you feel uncomfortable, I'm truly sor-"

Sitting up, you wave your arm to stop him. As if he can see you right now. "No, no! Yoongi. Wait. It's not like that. I wasn't doing anything right now but… but I have."

More silence. You bite your lip as you wait for him to catch up, for real this time.

"You mean…"

"I mean, I've t-touched myself while thinking about you. Before." Clearing your throat, you cover your eyes with your free hand, hiding your face from an invisible audience. Somehow, it emboldens you to keep talking. "A lot, actually."

He exhales shakily. "Really?"

"Yeah. Yeah, really." Uncovering your face, you stand, propping yourself up against the counter as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Is that really you having this discussion right now? You start to laugh.

"I don't think I'm getting the joke," Yoongi says slowly.

"Holy shit, this is just so surreal, Yoongi," you inform him. "I never in a million years thought I'd be admitting that I - Jesus, that I masturbate to thoughts of you! Not over the phone like this. Maybe after like-"

"A date?"

You huff out another laugh. "After a dozen, maybe. This is… I'm extremely out of my depth here."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I think you're doing a great job." He's laughing now, too, and it makes you grin so wide your cheeks actually hurt. "How about this - you let me take you on a date tomorrow night, to celebrate our successful presentation, and maybe by the end of the night, we'll know where we stand on the timeline for surprising confessions?"

"Okay. Yeah. Yes." You close your mouth to prevent yourself from continuously accepting his offer.

"Great. Then… I'll see you tomorrow." His voice drops to a soft whisper. "Sweet dreams, YN."

"Good night, Yoongi."

Okay, so you may have lied to him. Because there's no way you're getting any sleep tonight.

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

© 2023 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

[apuff]

Today i will rate the skies in the covers of the stuff i have on spotify

Because i am offline while writing this i am naturally restricted by what it will display for me

1. collide with the sky (ptv)

9/10. lighter towards the horizon, great hue shifting, nice fluffy clouds, i love how saturated and blue it all is. one thing i really like is how the field is green and the treeline is so dark because that's just how it is irl for realsies. i guess the only thing that's subpar iis that i feel like for that type of cloud, it would look much more defined? but i guess that's cause the sky can't be distracting too much from the subject. anyways, really nice work. 

2. Master of puppets (metallica)

2/10. Just getting some mixed messaging here. Like, the idea of it being all spooky and warm colors like that is cool, but it just…it all muddles into itself a little much. The light on the crosses doesn't look quite right and it's really hard to parse which parts of the sky are glowing or reflecting or clouds or the background or mountains. This album is really good though so i'll add a point for that

3. Danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys (mcr)

10/10. What is there to say? I mean, awesome gradient…great mixture of scrappiness and fullness in the clouds…those colors are just beautiful…i love how the sun rays are radiating out from the spider in the middle…gotta rep the rest of this composition cause it slays. Seriously, great sky. 

4. Joke cover of my demolition lovers playlsit (mcr)

4/10. This is very standard and pedestrian but seeing as it's literally just a normal stock photo of a construction worker i can't judge it too harshly 

5. Glow (pkch)

9/10. Pukicho is a great photographer and i really appreciate the artistry of this one. My personal preference is for a more crisp and thick cloud but i really like the vagueness and fogginess of these ones. It gives off the impression of a sunset or a sunrise without putting a literal glowing sun or garish colors in, and i like the perspective of the clouds as they approach the horizon seen through how the bands of dark and light get closer and blend into one shade. Just a very beautiful photograph altogether, great colors. 

6. Spirit phone (lemon demon)

5/10. Wasn't even sure if this counted as a sky or not, and i eventually decided it takes place outside during the night, but i did have to dock points for barely even being what i'm rating. I love the strange abstractness of it, the smeared perspective lines that have no purpose other than to look weird. Honorary mention goes out to the characters in the foreground that, though ghosts, can be understood as weather phenomena due to the song in this album "soft fuzzy man" (about a sentient storm that wants to date the listener); giving them the dubious honor of the weirdest clouds ever.  

7. Embers (beetlebug)

8/10 Another edge case, but i decided the patches were clouds so it counted. As a fellow watercolor artist i'm naturaly drawn to this, but who wouldn't be? It's another one that handles the sunset situation with tact and depth; the white edges aren't just a great painting move- they express light shining onto the edges of clouds. Another very clever composition utilizing the sun. just great. 

8. Until the end (beetlebug) 

6/10. Less stunning than the last one, but it's charming in an understated way. It feels very simple and childlike, but does have touches of maturity from the nuanced colors and defined clouds. I really appreciate the bold choice to make the sun red, it's unexpected but striking. 

9. Ride the lighting (metallica)

3/10. Perhaps this is due to my complete lack of experience with thunderstorms, but i just don't like the black thin scrappy clouds. It feels so noncommittal. I'm guilty about rating it so low because i feel like the album cover, overall, looks great (especially the awesome 80s colors, those get compensation points from me) but every time i zero in on the sky itself, i'm just perplexed. 

10. Purrple cat💜 (purrple cat)

1/10. This is just fine. It's a normal sky. It has normal stars and normal planets and normal nebulae. It's so uninteresting. Doesn't attract the eye. Every item evenly spaced out from the other. I don't understand why that planet is glowing but so dark. it just doesn't make sense. 

11. Hallows eve masquerade (beetlebug)

10/10. This is basically the epitome of what's good about beetlebug covers- like, there's a kidlike charm to how simple it is, but there's a finesse to the colors and concept. This one just has such an expertly handled warm color pallete. Love the subtle glow and the centered composition. 

12. Bee and puppycat- official soundtrack playlist [[star swirling emoji]] (milan records)

10/10. See, THIS is how to do a space sky properly. The glowing things glow and it's not desaturated as all get out. This has a good handle on the subtle pink-and-green nebula glow and it's cohesive with the rest of the palette-- I guess that makes sense, because this show is interested in that retro look where chromatic aberration like that is common. 

13. Fly by night (rush)

5/10. Even though i'm not the hugest fan of it, i respect the choice to keep the background elements a solid color. It plain and cohesive, and making everything blue except for the yellow of the eyes is a good idea. 

14. ???? (??)

7/10. This is like 20 pixels but it looks very nice. Going into this i wasn't expecting so many of these to use the sun or moon as a focal point of the composition but i guess it makes sense. I like the color shifting to the horizon. 

15. Kingdom in blue (kupla)

10/10. AAAAAH!! I love how this is a sunset but much more cool colors than all the rest! You don't see the pink + teal a lot but it looks great. The floating island adds a nice flow to the whole thing and a fantastical edge to the more common lo-fi vibe. 

16. Let's cheers to this (sws)

10/10. You know, this would look great if i could SEE it. I'm too miffed to explain why it's good. 

17. Dracula reading playlist (elizabeth)

8/10. i feel like this matches the vibe of the playlist and the book very well. i'm not a huge fan of fog as a stated before but in this instance it really works to punch out the silhouette of the castle, which is the main point. I also like how it's just straight up red. evil.

18. Teal album (weezer)

0/10 i'm mad that i thought this was a sky but it's just a teal background

[defire]

Chapter 27: Clever Lies

Content: post-beating injuries, mention of child abuse, beating, interrogation, minor whumpee, slavery

Kit sat in Caboodle's chair, in Caboodle's room, and eyed his little brother, who sat hugging his knees and staring wide-eyed at the wall like he was being re-traumatized.

"And I don't know why you even had to say that crazy crap about Aunt Wry." Caboodle said. "No one will take us seriously."

"Meanwhile, our father fought in the war." Kit sighed. "Even if we did fight in a war... we'd lose."

Caboodle didn't respond, going back to staring. The black eye on the left bulged with swelling. Kit still wanted to just... bite his father's face off for that. As for himself, he had a cracked rib, and could hardly walk. 

Their father had taken them home, then had beaten the two of them till they couldn't get up off the floor. Then he came back and whipped them with the leather razor strop like he'd promised last time Nife's name came up. No more Druids.

Kit’s back still oozed from broken welts under the bandages their servant had sullenly applied, and every time the wounds broke open, a fresh sting and burn reawakened and made him want to cry out. He had to keep it in for Caboodle’s sake. The poor kid still had tear tracks down his eyes, even though it had been hours since the punishment.

"I mean, you were kind of cool." Caboodle admitted after a long pause, still addressing the wall. "But you gotta be careful what you say when you're wearing that bracelet."

"Are you blaming the bracelet now?"

"Everything happened because you tipped your cup over, then you said that thing, then..." Caboodle stopped, swallowed and glanced at Kit finally.

Like always happened, his little brother's gaze flitted around his various injuries like he could sense them under his clothes.

"Maybe they're just all assholes." Kit said.

“They might be.” Caboodle said softly. “Is Nife… Did you see how she’s doing?”

Kit closed his eyes. The tidbits had been awful–a flash of intense anguish as she faced the wall and something whacked against her back over and over. Nife’s hands bandaging Iridiss’ ripped-up back. Striker’s face, much too close, with a predatory glint in his eyes as he pressed his fingers into a bruise on her neck. She was so… afraid. The bastard.

“It’s… horrifying. It’s way worse than I ever imagined.”

“Wait–what do you mean?” Caboodle looked alarmed.

“They… They beat and torture the slaves…” Kit shuddered, fidgeting with the bracelet. “You don’t want to know.”

Caboodle winced as he rubbed his arm. Glen had targeted it brutally with the leather strop. When he saw Kit’s stormy expression, he put on a smile.

"Here, let me see that." Caboodle snapped his fingers at the bracelet. "I have an idea."

When Kit gave it to him, he slipped it on and closed his eyes.

"I have this really bad feeling, and usually I can't put my finger on it, but maybe this bracelet..." He faded out as he started to concentrate. Kit felt another tremor shake the city and the floor creak as he waited for Caboodle to stop. It was boring. He looked out the window and saw, far away, several towers falling deeper into the rot, sinking toward each other somewhat, and pulling down the nearby buildings, from what he could tell.

"...Oh, no." Caboodle raised his head and looked at Kit. "I think Striker wants to get Nife killed."

"Yeah, that's no big surprise. He thinks she's inciting rebellion."

"No, Kit... He has a plan."

"What plan?" Kit stood up. 

They weren't supposed to leave, but if there was a plan to kill Nife, to hell with that.

"I don't know..." Caboodle said. "I just heard him say 'two birds' and then sort of... felt like he was thinking of Nife. There was a plan. I could feel it."

He shuddered, taking off the bracelet.

"Here." He said, practically throwing it at Kit. "I don't... I don't like how he thinks of her."

"Horizons..." Kit groaned, picking up the bracelet and putting it back on. "We have to do something."

Caboodle shook his head.

"There's literally nothing we can do."

"No–fuck that." Kit hurried to the window and slapped a hand down on the sill, looking out over the dark miasma in the street below. "We'll do something. We can't not do something."

Nife watched as Striker stepped into the small room, maneuvering around Enimee with that signature Bane respect for about three whole feet of personal space. Nife ducked her head behind her arm, using it to shield her ribs, which she worried were broken after all the kicking.

Striker bent forward over her.

"Stand up."

Nife shivered.

"Your lordship, I–"

His kick smashed into her upper arm with terrifying strength. With that one strike, she felt how easy it would be for the man to break every bone in her body.

"Stand–up." Striker twisted a hand into the beads, wrapping them so tightly they choked around Nife's neck, yanked her back, and as she struggled to stand, caught her under the chin with the web of his hand and slammed her back into the plaster wall.

She screamed through her teeth as the impact jostled the injuries in her back. At least she was getting a little support to stand.

"Now you're going to answer every question I ask." Striker said. His calm, almost expressionless face was dark because of the backlight, but Nife could see the heat of his tongue running over his teeth inside his mouth, something he often did when he was calculating what to say, it seemed. "Do you understand me?" He said.

Nife attempted to nod, then choked out,

"Yes, your lordship."

"First. Why did you choose that moment to mouth off to my sister?"

"...Well, it's not like I choose when she decides to be extra stup--"

Striker punched her in the stomach. Nife cursed and grimaced.

"For every question you refuse to answer, I'll punch you again." Striker said.

At that, Nife could see Enimee opening and closing her mouth to object, but she didn't dare. There was not a single member of the household that wasn't afraid of Lord Striker.

"Now answer the question." Striker said.

"I... I don't know." Nife lied, and from the shaking in her voice, she did it well. She couldn't possibly tell Striker how much her friends meant to her. That would just put them in more danger.

Striker didn't move, but with her nightsight, Nife watched his fist slowly unclench, and breathed a little.

"The second question." Striker said. "You Druids can see behind yourselves, can't you?"

Nife froze for a moment, breaking herself of it with a small tremor. She shook her head slowly.

"I've been watching you." Striker said. "You saw me unclench my fist just now, without being able to turn to look. How?"

"I–I didn't." Nife lied again. "I don't know how you Banes can't see as well as we can–maybe we have better eyesight. You can see better in the daytime, though."

"That's commonly known." Striker said. "I'm asking you to tell me how you saw my hand just now."

Nife shook her head, blinking at tears of apprehension as she felt the fingers around her throat tighten a little. Not quite choking, but enough to heighten the pitch of her voice just a touch if she were to speak.

"You'd better not be lying." Striker said.

Nife didn't answer, staring at the ground. There was no kind of defense for this kind of thing. His grip slowly tightened until she couldn’t take a breath. She shook her head, opening her eyes wide with a strangled,

“Not–”

And he loosened his grip so she could breathe.

"...Last question." Striker said, stepping so close their chests touched. Nife was panting, struggling to hold herself up on one leg. "And you'd better have something more than 'I don't know', because we all saw you."

Nife glanced at Enimee, who was standing there with a hand on the handle of her cane. Right, no friends here.

"You pushed Creack's magic back." Striker said.

A weight like a heavy rock dropped into Nife's gut. She couldn't respond to this one satisfactorily, no matter how well she tried to obscure it.

"You stood up in the middle of what should've felt like an outright flogging, judging from the welts you received." Striker said. "Despite all three of them attempting to punish you at once. You counteracted the magic, and Creack can't tell me what happened. So you tell me. How did you do it?"

Nife lifted her chin.

“Guess I’m just that tough.”

Striker let go and slapped her. It had almost become reflexive not to block the blows at this point–blocking only got Nife a full on beating.

"You liar!" Striker said. "I saw the magic on your arm fade and flicker. How!"

Nife widened her eyes and gave Striker a glance in the eyes, then hastily looked back down at the ground, grinding her teeth.

"I..."

Another slap stung across her cheek, sending her staggering sideways. She caught herself on the wall, clenching her fists against a defensive reaction.

"Answer the question, Nife."

Nife wouldn't answer that. It was the fucking key to her escape. She'd take whatever she had to, but she wouldn't answer that question.

She crumpled backward, crouching in the corner, shielding her face with her bruised arm. She said nothing, preparing herself for the beating as Striker walked toward her.

He stared down at her for a full minute as she shuffled around, her protective squat getting tighter and tighter as she tried to get ready for broken bones and agony.

"Enimee," Striker said. "Leave me alone with her."

First chapter: Next chapter:

Taglist: @tildeathiwillwrite @mimostic @fleur-a-whump @a-n-j-a-maria @bamber344 per Tumblr's content policy, this is the non-nsfw version, but you can find the canon Dance of Death on Amazon and ao3 (which I'm updating shabbily as fast as I can). Also if you want, it would mean so much to me if you leave a review or comment while you're there.

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

[femboycatofmystery]

I Love Raine Whispers

Let me start this post about Raine Whispers by affirming my love of Double Trouble.

Are they a paragon of unproblematic representation? Hell no. Do I adore them? You bet your ass I do, for two reasons: first, despite being a shapeshifting trickster and arguably a villain who inarguably relies on deceit, when they appeared, they were a breath of literally any air in a media landscape which, regardless of whether we're even talking about kids' shows, was basically empty of non-binary representation. This can hardly be overstated: non-binary representation has been so scarce that Double Trouble pretty much literally revealed my non-binary-ness to me, single-handedly. Second, sort of related, for all their sus vibes, Double Trouble absolutely works as a power fantasy for schlubby, inglamorous enbies like yours truly, all while being important to the plot, delivering a necessary if painful vibe check around which the entire next season pivots, and looking absolutely devastating in a jumpsuit. Don't get it twisted: I fucking love Double Trouble and I WILL fight you.

But this is a post about Raine, aka best Owl Houseian.

Raine Whispers is, for one thing, everything Double Trouble wasn't. Unambiguously with the good guys. Unique, interesting powers attained through study and cleverness. Cool Teacher Vibe. Sexy, but absolutely in an aspirational way rather than, uh, y'know, what DT's doing. They are undeniably a core cast member, including, nay, especially in the last, shortened season.

If DT was a breath of literally any air, Raine Whispers is what it felt like when the Fright Zone suddenly turned into a goddamn alpine meadow. They're transcendental. Double Trouble was enjoyable and fun to have around, but Raine… Raine made me feel invested in a way I can hardly express. It's because of them that I am starting to more seriously contemplate really starting to stamp those they/them pronouns on my stationary if you get my drift.

From the minute they're introduced, Raine becomes a chord in the tapestry of the Owl House that we didn't know we'd been missing, and I gotta say, in terms of late-introduced characters, the Owl Crew did an incredible job of making them feel like they'd been there all along, it's just the camera wasn't pointing at them. Lovely. They're introduced along with Bardic Magic, which is itself given a chance to really shine as this weird, bigger-than-it-looks branch of magic that pools up and spills over into the world from everywhere, it's a branch of magic that proves what an ill-fitting straightjacket the Coven system is by just sort of being something that feels like it transcends the divisions artificially erected between things and-- you get it, Bard Magic might not be an intentional metaphor, but it sure does resonate.

Raine is also a double agent, but unlike Double Trouble, the metaphor is way more subtle, and much better for it. Raine is a double agent because the powers that be just assume they're part of the system, and then because they assume they've tamed them. Raine persists, hiding in plain sight because nobody wants to see them. And they don't like it, but they know they can use it.

Raine is also an excellent foil for Eda. They don't dislike Eda's rebelliousness, chaotic impulsiveness, or sass, in fact they love them, but every one of those things are things that Raine exhibits quietly. They rebel under a pseudonym. They plan, but plan craziness. They have the capacity for sass, but deliver it with subtlety and wit, in a way that Eda might be able to do if she wanted to, but probably never will. (This is part of why they fit so perfectly into the ensemble cast: they are a great pair for one of the most important characters in the show.)

I could also yell about how aggressively non-binary the cast gets in season 3, but even knowing what was to come, The Owl House knocked the first one out of the park. Raine Whispers is incredible, and I am changed for having them in my media universe. Just. Bravo, crew. Bravo.

[winter-tospring]

I am SO HAPPY about My Uncanny Destiny, it gave me EVERYTHING I could want. It's hilarious, witty, self aware, fresh and forward thinking, sweet and heartwarming, it was absolutely wonderful from beginning to end, a pure joy ride with hardly anything to criticize.

I loved the main couple, they have fantastic chemistry. Amazing to see such gender balance and PLAY, like, this was just so fun to watch and felt good to trust the male characters with their attitude towards women. Liu Xuanming as a smitten for the first time man who cross dresses to make sure his fiancée is safe and respects and admires her so much is AMAZING. Him and Ye Zhaonan are perfect together.

Ye Zhaonan has gotta be one of my favorite female characters ever now. The actress is so expressive and is given a lot of range to play with, which feels so great to see. She's a badass AND very seriously clever AND a goof. Her relationship with the other women and her grace and wit do not go unnoticed, far from it. She rises to the top thanks to it, and everyone must recognize how great of a leader she is, as well as a wonderful friend.

There's a very good balance of women and men in the show, which again, so cool for a Chinese drama. It's a freaking feminist drama, I can't believe how fulfilling it is. The couple at their wedding going through a sex book TOGETHER and getting giddy about it.... I MEAN 🥺🥺 There are so many little things that are just perfect and make me so happy for the future of this genre. It's truly exciting to see what can be done.

I haven't even talked about the delicious (b)romance between the 2 men of the "love triangle" where you end up not even sure who wants who, lol. Guys that are actually so loving and respectful of the same person and bond over this and find they ALSO actually enjoy each other's presence...They're so fun...

the fact that they're hinting at a potential season 2 has me wanting to scream about this show from the rooftops. Watch this absolute gem, you will NOT regret it.

[universeofchirai]

right tumblr is a thing

okay long back I had decided to write anything and everything here and that's it, I never got to it, until yesterday when I found myself pondering in agony of depths of math hell no one would want to shove themselves into as in how nice it'd have been to just write whatever the fuck in a place where it can be recorded chronologically and be visible to the most random by-chancers smh, and yes of course I had forgotten about Tumblr all this while. Seriously tho had heck of a start w tumblr right away as the first thing I realised was that I was accidentally following an nsfw account :skull: no nothing against that, but I def don't want my tumblr to get filled w that.

But seriously, can I just talk about how MATH is just PURE AUTISM like FUCK OFF DAWG it's so annoying sometimes but I love it :sob:

So I'm doing this book named "Naive Set Theory" as a reading project under a prof at my uni (heck of a prof but let's get to that some other time) and istg one thing is that I'm out of practice of studying the way I used to put myself to do for entrances but apart from that, dawg, I can't read a single fucking line without having to make 3 comments about how I did not understand what's happening or how this thing is valid or what the actual fuck is going on. It's such a taunt, the fact that the chapters are like 3-4 pages each but they take HOURS to complete bcs of the gymnastics you gotta get through each line each word oof.

But all's not bad, I'm a little happy cause I feel like I found an error in this rigorous ass book, it probably isn't one and I'm just misunderstanding but hey, let a creature be happy for once.

The yellow highlight here is the cause of my ever-wavering transient glimpse of happiness. The green highlight is just me commenting that the proof is pretty cool and clever (which it is indeed) but ok the issue is they wrote 'smallest' but for our autistic ass math brains, we haven't even defined comparison of sets yet, we've only defined equality of sets. So we cannot say if a set is larger or smaller than any other set and so on. An alternative is just to say that the intersection is not gonna be u then, uhm actually dw about the details but this is the deal.

[liopleurodean]

Season 11, Episode 23: Alpha And Omega

Are they okay?

Cas!

Great question

Yikes

Not the time, Rowena

Cas!

Dean, other way

What's up with the sky?

She's killing creation

But it won't be long

Dean...

I guess. End of the world

He's got a point

You know, they normally put this filter over Mexico. It's kinda weird to see in on the UK

Men of Letters?

Buddy, this isn't normal

Yup, Men of Letters

Ah, the book with Greek letters on it

Whoa, that's creepy

They even have info on Cas!

And Sam's Stanford info, that's just weird

Dean.

Seriously?

There's probably one somewhere

I mean, he is the father of everything...

Poor kid

Why is he still listening?

Pfft

Everyone's given up

There it is

No, Cas...

We know, Cas.

Guess they're not getting any beer

Dude!

Souls.

Come on, people

Cas got it!

So, a hundred souls? Probably more to be safe

That would work

Probably not much

That's sad

Spot on, Dean 😂

Hey, red line!

Spooky

Yeah, that's really strange

Good plan

There it is

Yeah, I think so too

Oh, that was clever!

Haggis? Really???

Cool

That was fun

What is she doing?

Not much dignity in cowardice

Uh oh

Men of Letters?

No, Billie.

Why not?

They're helping you

Yeah...

They have unlimited access

She's sweet

Yeah, you don't want her touching them

Not really

Yeah

There it is

Hey, that's good!

I hope not

Weird

Cas. You said that on purpose

Okay then

Dude.

Oh no...

The Wuxi Finger Hold

Oh, that can't be fun

Define okay

Awesome

The final showdown

But he does

Dean...

Oh, boys...

This was major foreshadowing

Yeah.

Cas just got back, and now Dean is leaving? Definitely hug time

Tough job

Absolutely. Whatever you want

Dean...

Keep her safe

Dude, you love chick-flicks

I don't think I can watch

It looks like a planet on Star Trek

Yikes

Of course it is

Take a guess

The world is ending

Should've known

So they have to fix him

Yeah...

He was against it from the start

It's getting worse

Did it work?

Dean would know

We were made in the image of God, and Amara is family

I really hope this works

Poetic, that the end of the world should be in a garden

Did he add liquor to it?

He got poofed

In the beginning.

It was all jealousy

It's beautiful

It's working

I was half expecting "Here Comes The Sun"

Didn't even have to die

Sam...

Good idea

Oh, yeah, let's fix that

Yeah.

So now she'll return the favor

Pretty

What the heck?

Cas!

That was the worst way to introduce yourself

For what?

Not on purpose. And they always fixed it

At least, that's what they assume

She won't do it

Or maybe she will

That's gotta be Mary

Yup

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

Umineko....

episode 1, part 4

(content warning: i will be talking about a child getting hit by her mother)

battler you are so damn late to the party. everyone else has tried to solve the gold riddle for two years now and got bored with it but its new and fresh to battler!!!!!

hes a little moe sometimes

I LAUGHED ABOUT THERE BEING A GOLD CHASE RIDDLE but its pretty engaging now that im here.

THERES A SWEETFISH RIVER RIGHT THERE!!!!

^ serious remark by the way. i think this is meaningful and could genuinely be the mentioned river.

anyway, the riddle calls for eleven "sacrifices" in total. whether those are living beings or or objects or what have you.

thank you maria. i am not disturbed.

FUNNY how there are twelve family members in total. this could perhaps develope into some sort of battle royal scenario. then again, the servants and doctor are playing too, at least in theory. i am included in the riddle, too. maybe ill die as well!

if anything happens to maria. i dont know what ill do. cry maybe. i entirely cant judge how cruel/tasteless this novel could be in the future. if you Gotta harm a little guy, at least be clever and meaningful and tragic about it, you know? at the very least she seems to know enough about witches to defend herself. idk man, i trust her knowledge. she has her grandfather genes. somehow. LISTEN WOULD SHE RECEIVE SO MUCH ATTENTION FROM THE NARRATIVE IF SHE WASNT CORRECT.... maybe its all red herrings though.

i wonder if kinzo went through all these riddle steps before. i wonder if the earthquake was related, if he had been betting on a wonder that would make him the head of the family.

battler you are the realest person ever

btw rosa hits her child!!!! but not as badly as her father probably hit her!!!!! there is definitely a history of intergenerational violence here, emotionally but physically as well. very striking about the scene are two things: 1. no one explained to maria why her mother wants her to change her behaviour and every hit enforces it, makes it worse, its a downward spiral. 2. the enviroment accepts it and does not intefere, save for battler who is still an outsider of sorts, and he is quickly taught to not involve himself. george, who was usually kind and soft and amazing around maria, says it will be a kindness to act like this never happened, as to not embarrass her. this means purposeful ignorance and therefore acceptance.

anyway, irreparable damage. and now maria is beatrices messenger. thats what happens.

so here she is. apparently. the narrative REALLY wants to built up anticipation to a point where its overdoing it and ruining what tension it created. but i trust it to be satisfying in the end. so far i really enjoyed the interpersonal intrigue and pacing of conversations after all. but i yet struggle to make out how mysterious the storytelling is trying to be and how much thinking i am supposed to do.

BATTLER IS SO NOT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY THOUGH... its so funny. he really doesnt give a fuck. beatrice is a funny troll to him, hired by his grandfather, or perhaps a scam artist. she has also clarified that the contract she has with kinzo, which would allow her to collect everything he owns, is off, should someone find the gold. so suddenly everyone is friends again!!!!! YAY kyries working theory is that beatrice is the friends we made along the way (one of the people in plain view, just under a pseudonym) which is really solid. thats the most plausible explanation for them right now. its very cool that she gets to do a whole detective monologue on it.

this is just a little game to them. heart emoji

at the very least, there is a new 'furniture' development: it might also just refer to the fact that the servants are to be passed along to the whoever solves the riddes, alongside the mansion, as if they are simply furniture pieces within it. tools at disposal. the only reason i cling to this is bc how often this specific phrasing it brought up.....

everything is about to go to shit so i am ending this post here. but my god. its about to happen, i think. kill rend maim

[takerfoxx]

The G1 Climax is going to be taking up all my attention for the next few weeks, and after that is Good Omens 2, but I still wanted to drop a brief review of the first season of High School DXD. Why? Because I find schlock that has some measure of effort put into it to be weirdly fascinating. And a mix of hotblooded shonen action, an intricate supernatural world with honestly pretty cool concepts, and shameless rated-r ecchi harem antics hits that sweet spot. So, please indulge me as I ramble on about borderline pornography. And also, spoilers ahead.

So...I liked it.

The end!

Okay, seriously though, I still don't know if I'm giving this show too much credit on account of what it is, or not enough credit because of what it is. Which is to say, am I letting a lot of glaring narrative flaws just slide because it's an ecchi harem, so what do you expect? Or am I deliberately avoiding praising some genuinely neat shit because it's still an ecchi harem, and that just drags it down? I don't know. I just know I get a kick out of the silliness that would be dull if it stood on its own, and am honestly enjoying the story, but probably wouldn't have given it a second look if it weren't for the novelty of it all.

So anyway, I already talked about the first half and how much I liked the whole rescue of Asia from the evil church. The idea of a bunch of teenagers that got caught in the crossfire of some kind of supernatural war, got killed as a result, but were raised as demons and formed their little found family that has beef with all sides is the sort of thing I really like. That being said, the breakup of Rias's wedding wasn't quite as good, but it was still enjoyable. The big battle between the two harems in the faux version of the school was definitely MY SHIT, and I honestly would've preferred that they just stretched that out instead of the duel at the end. But it was still fun.

Though speaking of which, I really had to laugh during that duel. Like, the whole concept is that Issei gets a super-dragon form, but it only lasts ten seconds. Except they must've been operating on Freeza-time, because each one of those "seconds" lasted like five to ten seconds each, and yet Issei still ran out of time because he couldn't stop giving shonen protagonist speeches! Like, dude! Hurry it up, bro! Taunt the guy after you beat him!

But the way they ended up resolving that whole thing was clever, so it turned out all right in the end.

As for Issei, yeah, while I'm sure it was novel to have your harem protagonist actually be 100% into it whenever the ecchi shit goes down instead of freaking out every single time (coughRITOcough), his perv-out moments are so over the top that it does come out to the same thing in the end. But I guess that's just par the course for the genre.

Though it does mean that when he gets caught doing something perverted and gets hit with the slapstick for it, he actually 100% deserves it, so there's no having the protagonist get slapped around for situations that aren't his fault. Nah, every time Issei gets smacked around, he totally has it coming.

Actually, you know who was a surprise standout? Kiba. Yeah, surprised me too. I mean, he's not one of the girls, so he basically got no promotion, so I didn't even know about the guy until I started the show, and having another dude in the main cast did stick out at first. But honestly, he is such a bro that I really came to appreciate having him around.

And given that this is, in fact, a harem, I guess that means I gotta choose who I think is best girl. So I'm going with...Asia. Yeah, that also surprised me. But there's just something so charming about the stock wholesome girl next door type who is also just as much DTF as the protagonist is.

Actually, come to think of it, why haven't they done it yet? They're both living under the same roof, they're both clearly digging each other, Rias has his parents under that geas, so what's the holdup? I get why it hasn't happened with any of the other girls, but Issei and Asia genuinely seemed to click in that way, and don't have any weird demonic political stuff going on.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. It's an ecchi, not a hentai, and rules say the protag must not fuck, else you ruin the sizzle. But seriously, any other teenagers with their personalities in that situation would have by now.

And speaking of harem antics and fanservice...it's fine. Gotta admit, even though it's totally lacking on story, character development, and stakes in comparison to High School DXD, I still think it's a step backward from To Love-Ru. Like, it does the standard tropes, but other than uncensored nipples they doesn't really do anything new with them, whereas To Love-Run literally being at war with Japan's censorship laws and constantly winning was fucking hilarious. Still, it's pretty good.

Also, every time those eyecatches pop up during a big, dramatic moment is comedy gold. Like, the villain would have the heroes on the ropes, everyone is distraught, Issei is beaten half to death, and BOOM! Akeno doing a gravure shoot, ass in your face!

[hovershiplogos]

Okay, so now for Ghost's section of the airport.

For now, at any rate. I feel bad for the airport staff in this mission, they don't even want to be here, they know this is well above their paygrade, but nope, the powers that be say that they need to stay!

Yup, they sure are.

AND IT'S ONE OF THE REASONS THAT I HATED THIS SECTION AS A TEENAGER, THIS FUCKING HELICOPTER BOSS BATTLE RIGHT HERE. I've forgotten how many times I died to this thing, and this thing has a mini gun, you can't regenerate health, and there's waves of enemies. DAMN THIS THING.

And hey! More of Soren and his crew. Team dad Soren is not letting anyone take his crew if he can help it. No hesitation, they all went in after Axel. One thing that strikes me is that everyone seems to view Axel as a young kid? That's how it comes across to me though.

This is a cool little trick, certainly cements Ghost as the best sharpshooter in the fleet. But I WISH THIS DIDN'T LEAD INTO ANOTHER HELICOPTER SHOOTOUT SECTION THAT KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES. ARGH

And yet again, Ghost gets unceremoniously thrown from someone, but this time he takes out Binary with him! OUCH

Yup, so where's a great vantage point to see where to steal a new pair of wheels? Yup, the fiery inferno we just escaped from. Really guys??

This is great, Ghost is watching Niobe chase after the plane, and drive up into it to rescue Axel, and this is all he has to say! Not anything encouraging, just hmmmmm.

Hmmmmmmm.

Which is pretty clever, but unfortunately, this is ANOTHER CAR CHASE SEQUENCE, AND ONE I GET PARTICULARLY ANGRY TOWARDS SPARKS ON. BECAUSE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY HE DOES NOT SHUT UP WITH THE OBVIOUS ADVICE. DON'T LOSE THE PLANE HE SAYS, LIKE I WAS GOING TO, HE SAYS, AS I SKID AROUND IN THIS STUPID COP CAR THAT MAKES THE TRACTION ON THE VEHICLES IN CYBERPUNK 2077 ACTUALLY LOOK DECENT. FUCK THIS VEHICLE HANDLING I SWEAR TO GOD!!

Seriously, this was me towards Sparks on my third run through of this section:

Okay, now with that bit of rage out of my system, Axel wakes up in the agent's car, fastens his seat belt and takes the wheel from the agent, crashing the car and sending the agent out the windshield.

Not bad for a damsel in distress. Okay, so we catch both Axel and Niobe, and now it's time for a cutscene!

Yeah, because if it had been the Neb, you would've been shit outta luck, I think. And it's sweet as well that they went out of their way to help, gotta love that team spirit!

As soon as Axel has been jacked out by Jaxx (and presumably had his crew hug the stuffing out of him), Sparks is ready with the call to get Ghost out. Sure, he might be a pain in the ass, but right now he's a fast pain in the ass.

Oh look who it is, it's the trainman, happily spoiling the whole multiple iterations thing to all and sundry!

Just like us. But seriously, what a baffling conversation this must've been from Niobe's point of view. Random guy wanders out, states Zion lasted 72 hours last time, last time of what, and then he fucks off back to Limbo. I mean, I can only imagine what she told the others when she got out. "You guys, I just had the weirdest conversation..."

Also, given what she knew at that point, and this weird cryptic information, I have to wonder whether she got curious about it as well. Maybe it was on her mind throughout the sequels as well. I'd like to think that once Morpheus told her what Neo told them about the multiple iterations of Zion thing, that finally makes sense to her.

Anyway, next section is where we'll catch up to the event of Reloaded, starting with the captain's meeting, and ending up in everyone's favourite kind of video game level: the sewers. See you there!

Guess who's doing rewatches again? It's me, and well, not entirely a rewatch:

Yes, that's right, it's Enter the Matrix. Because it's criminal that for a blog named for the little ship that could, I've haven't actually done a deep dive on the game itself! So I'm going to fix that!

I'm also going to play through as both Niobe and Ghost, as depending on who you're playing, the missions play out slightly different, and the cutscene dialogue varies as well. Also, not going to do like a  blow by blow kinda thing. Only going to comment on things that caught my  interest, or seem rather amusing to me.  If you want a little more context, I suggest checking out the couple of playthroughs/cut scene compilations on youtube.

Also of note, the game picks up right after the Animatrix short Final Flight of the Osiris.

Anyway, let's get to it!

AND IT'S THE MAIN REASON I'M STILL HERE, BECAUSE OF THIS PESSIMISTIC SNARKY COWARD RIGHT HERE. And he's self aware about it as well.

Also interesting to note is that according to this cutscene, Sparks has been operating on board the Logos for 3 years. Now, a standard US navy tour of duty (and I'm going with Navy rather than Army as Zion's army is referred to as a Navy fleet) is between 2-3 years. Not really going anywhere with this, but it's interesting to note.

Niobe is a 'my way or the highway' kinda person. No wonder it didn't work between her and Morpheus. It's also telling that Ghost has known Niobe for long enough to know that this is what she's like. I wonder if Ghost is the glue in this ship dynamic? As in, he knew Niobe and Sparks separately before they knew each other, if that makes sense?

And it's the little hovership that could, the little lightning bug of the fleet! Those red lights on the ship look like they're the same as the ones on the sentinels. I wonder if a bulb blows or something they scavenge one from a deactivated squiddie as a replacement?

It's not particularly clear, but I never realised that Niobe's hair is tied with what looks like string with gold in it? Maybe a metal band with gold on it? I'm not sure, but it's pretty!

Also, I appreciate that they give a reason why Niobe is going after this drop, rather than waiting for someone else (ie: Neo) to go get it.

Also, saying are you red or blue on this is a very cool in universe way of saying are you with me or not?

The subtitles are missing here, but what he says:

"You know me Niobe. It's not a choice, it's a way of life."

Ghost, you're awesome, you know that, right?

I get Sparks' complaint here, there are only two of them, and it would be a lot safer to wait for back up to help them out. But nope, you know what Niobe's like, get it done.

Also, as I remarked earlier, the fact that Niobe is willing to risk going in without support , especially given what she says about Thaddeus not using the drops unless he had no choice? And now they're all dead? They definitely need to get that package before the agents do.

I personally love Niobe's little eye roll here.

I also love that Ghost is more chill and amused by Sparks than exasperated like Niobe is. Yeah, Ghost is the glue holding the team together.

Also, a little mention of Zion funerary practices. As someone pointed out to me years ago, I suspect that the gardens is similar to the Exodus fleet's method of burial, but who knows?

Yup, words to live by!

Once again, Niobe is rolling her eyes behind the sunnies. This is what she has to put up with. Also, I would love to think that one time Sparks pranked Ghost by running some program that sent his guns soaring upward.

I always used to think that Ghost was the serious, no nonsense one in the crew, but I'm beginning to think I'm wrong on that front.

Sparks, why do you want his boots? They're too small for your big feet!

Niobe has great taste in old muscle cars. Good old 1967 Pontiac Firebird, in eggplant purple instead of black. Very stylish!

That's all for now, next up will be the post office. See you then!

[virtualdespairr]

shhh they’re in love <33

[collecting-stories]

Jellyfish - JJ Maybank

Request: Hey! I was wondering or you could do an outer banks imagine where like in season one the pogues leave kie, Sarah and reader on a boat, and the reader is the one getting stung by a jellyfish. The night goes on and she starts having an allergic reaction the jellyfish sting and her breathing starts to go bad and all dizzy. The girls have to call a mayday. And the sherif/ambulance boat? Comes and gets her or the pogues come back the next morning and she is not well at all. Then hospital. The pogues feel really badx Maybe reader x jj?  

A/N: I just started a rewatch of s1 tonight so I can finally watch s2...also I googled allergic reactions to a jellyfish sting for this. 

Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

Sarah stood beside you, practically holding you up, as you emptied the contents of your stomach into the marsh for the fifth time in so many minutes. The boys plan to strand Sarah and Kiara on the boat hadn’t been a very clever one and when you had protested JJ had jokingly pushed you over the edge of the HMS, claiming that now you too were stranded with them. 

It wasn’t exactly how you’d planned to spend your night, especially with everyone on each other’s nerves as severely as they were, you’d been looking forward to taking advantage of that and spending the night back at your house with JJ. Instead, you were stranded on Heyward’s boat with Kiara and Sarah bitching at each other. Not to mention the angry red mark blossoming over your stomach from the jellyfish that had stung you as you’d tread water earlier.  

“I thought you said you could fix this stupid piece of shit!” Sarah shouted to Kiara as she rubbed her hand along your back. The juxaposition of her kindness to you and her edgyness with Kiara wasn’t lost on you...even as you felt your head swimming.  

“I gotta lay down,” you urged, hands gripping the edge of the boat as you rested your chin against the cool side, staring into the murky water. It was starting to get darker outside but you weren’t paying attention to that anymore. You felt like you were going to throw up again though this time it felt prompted by the dizzy feeling when you moved your head and not the pain shooting through your abdomen.  

“Okay, let’s lay down...do you want a blanket or something?” Sarah asked, eyes darting around the boat to check for any spare blankets or sweatshirts.

You shook your head, immediately regretting the action as your vision blurred. “No...no, it’s so hot.” When you struggled to get JJ’s shirt over your head without moving too much, Sarah grabbed the hem of the shirt and eased it up.  

“She doesn’t need your help!” Kiara yelled from the hatch, looking out at you with concern. You’d been fine earlier, before you’d boarded the boat with them, before the jellyfish stung you, but now you were doing worse and worse. She was trying to fix the boat but it was obvious that JJ and John B’s genius plan had included purposely sabotaging any chance they had of getting the boat back to shore.  

“Obviously, she does!” Sarah shouted back, “she’s puking over the side of the fucking boat! What was in that shit you rolled anyway?”

Kiara looked incredulous at the suggestion that it was the weed they’d smoked that made you like this, “oh cause I poisoned my best friend with weed? Is that it?”  

“Maybe!” Sarah shrugged, “how should I know.”

“Not helping,” you groaned, rolling to the side and pressing your hand against your stomach. “Kie...my stomach is killing me.”  

“What can I do?” She asked, coming back over to you and Sarah.  

“Call for the coast guard or something?” Sarah suggested, looking out over the marsh as if someone would just happen to be driving through. It was pitch black now, the night falling completely. It wasn’t too late yet, close to 9:30p Sarah supposed, but she wasn’t confident that this could last until morning. Who knew when the boys would come back?

“With what phone Sarah? The tower is down.”  

“Swim to shore or something then!” She snapped.

“Sure, no problem...why didn’t I think of that? I’ll jump in the fucking marsh in the pitch black and swim toward what I think might be land!” Kiara shouted.

“Guys,” you snapped, pulling yourself up to the edge of the ship again. You felt like you were going to throw up again but there wasn’t anything left in your stomach, “shut the fuck up! You aren’t helping...I know they messed with the boat, is the radio working?”

“Let me check.” Kiara stood up from your side and headed back to the controls, checking the radio. “I’ve got a signal!”  

You weren’t sure how long it took between Kiara signaling a mayday and the police boat actually coming out on the marsh because you passed out soon after she’d gotten the signal, slumped against Sarah, the pain in your side and abdomen too much for you to bear. Neither of the girls wanted to leave you overnight in the hospital, worried something would happen the second they left your side, so Kiara scribbled a note and left it taped to the window of the boat.  

Gone to the hospital – was all it said. Not very descriptive but extremely alarming, the boys had arrived at the emergency room frantic.  

“What the fuck kind of scare tactic was that Kie!” JJ had shouted down the hallway when he saw his friend outside one of the rooms. A nurse down the same hall shushed him as he passed her and he turned around to flip her off.  

“Excuse me but you three deserve it after the shit you pulled! Leaving us stranded out there with no communication? You’re lucky the radio worked.” Sarah hissed, shoving JJ when he tried to get passed her into the room.  

The second he’d seen her it had been clear the person who was missing, the one who was undoubtedly in the hospital bed in the room he was standing outside of. You’d gotten hurt, seriously if you were here, if they’d had to mayday a police boat.

“What happened?” Pope asked, quieter than his best friend had been able to muster.

“She’s allergic to jellyfish.” Sarah replied, turning a glare on JJ, “when this moron pushed her in the water she got stung and had a reaction.”  

“Is she okay?”

“She’ll be alright...she’s dehydrated though, so she’s on fluids for the rest of the – JJ!” Kiara snapped when he pushed passed her to get into the room. He moved the curtain aside to see you there, still a little out of it from the exhaustion of the night before but you smiled when you saw him.  

“Hey,” he dropped his voice down to a whisper, a contrast to the sharp scrap of the chair that he dragged to your bedside, “I’m so sorry.”

“Guess I’m allergic to something after all.” You managed to tease, recalling the conversation you’d had a few weeks earlier when JJ had begrudgingly given up the peanut butter and jelly sandwich he was trying to make at John B’s when you reminded him that he was highly allergic to peanuts.

He’d claimed that “maybe it went away”, a possibility you both knew to be impossible while you told him that you weren’t stabbing him with an epi-pen if he had an allergic reaction. “I would stab you, if you were allergic to anything,” JJ had replied, settling for jelly on toast instead. 

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” JJ said now, eyeing the bag of fluids that was connected to you via IV. “I would’ve been fine thinking you didn’t have any allergies.” 

“It’s not your fault JJ, it was an accident...I could’ve been stung a million times before this, we literally live on the coast.” You tried to laugh and coughed; throat still sore. JJ grabbed for the pitcher of water at your bedside and poured you a glass, leaning over to help you swallow.  

“Yeah but you didn't get stung a million times before this...you got stung after I pushed you in!”

“We should let you get some rest,” Pope’s voice sounded over JJ’s shoulder and you both looked over to where he was standing at the curtain. He smiled at you, a silent ‘glad you’re okay’ and ‘sorry’ rolled into one.  

You nodded, more than aware that you were on the verge of falling asleep again. Still, you reached for your boyfriend’s hand, settling for his wrist instead as he was still holding the plastic cup. “Will you stay?” you asked, eyes meeting JJ’s.  

“Yeah, of course.” He promised, sitting back down, “I’m not going anywhere.” He didn’t mention the absolute panic that had racked through him when he saw Kiara’s note or realized you were the one that was injured and he definitely didn’t tell you how severely he blamed himself for you getting stung in the first place, instead he just sat there holding your hand and promising that he would stay there with you until you were discharged. “Everything’s okay, you’re okay.”  

[tabitha2]

I looked in the mirror and couldn’t believe it. I’m like seriously dumb blonde housewife. Wait, dumb ? And… wife ??? Oh. My. God. Like I’m too stupid to figure out what to do, with a brain like never passed 9th grade. Because duh. I’m like. Srsly. Sexy. Grades ? Being into girls ? Being young ? And in control ? Forget all that crap. It was never real and as I grew up, aged…

Stop, wait. I’m soooo confused. I had to take some selfies to believe my eyes. Omigawd I’m straight now ! I’m like this horny skanky mom who can’t stop herself scoring with the varsity quarterback. Even after my husband became the football coach. Husband ? Shit, I’m married ! With children who are some of them grown now. No matter what my mind thinks, or thinks it thinks, this is what my body does. Talk like a straight older woman, act like a mature mom. With my dried-up snatch that gets wet for all dick, and my obvious hard nips for any guy. I’m a pro nympho bimbo and it’s so much better as the MILF I was meant to be. Doing my eyes to hide the lines…

My eyes. Did they used to be that color ? They still are so damn pretty. Even with the wrinkles. Which don’t stop me from giving my cookies to all the hot senior boys— a new crop of young studs every year. It’s totally cool. I am what I see, and I gotta just like accept it. Putting on lipgloss as I back out of the driveway so I can give a super sweet smile to the well-hung dean of discipline. See how easy that is ? And how well it works ? It was genius to just accept my natural talent for getting fucked. Like a bimbo.

It’s like fucking is what I’m good for. And pleasing Men. And my face. My body. My… feelings ? I just love young cock ?! Sure I do. Before menopause it was older guys. But now. This must be the curse part they mentioned. I’m in heat and I gotta get laid. So ok. I got this. I know just what to do. I just do what I know. Use my God-given talent for taking what they put into me. Those teenage boys who are so eager, insistent, horny, and powerful.

Damn, I feel weird saying that, but it’s true. Every year I throw a big party, where I fuck the football team. And they nut in me. Just like always. Like I always have done since I was 16 or 14 or 12 or whatever. Who knows the father of any of my kids, really. I’m super in heat and I will do anything. Even fuck boring church-going Gladys and Joe next door, all the wrinkly couples who hook up when the brats are in bed. Yep, I’m the neighborhood piece all the pervs pound. It’s what us dumb girls do, so they like us, want us. You gotta please your Man. Your hubby. All the Men. I remember my mom telling me. Now look at me ! I have been doing this for more years than my kids have been alive. Using my body not my brain. Getting Men. The best ones. Every time I can. Sneaking around and having a blast. Think I’m so clever but everyone knows I’m a swinger.

I was like 25, now I’m going on 52. I used to be a cheerleader and I so support the team still. And I totally like guys ! Every one. Each and every fucking one. I support all the players, I boost all the events, I show up with a big smile and my tits as big as I can make them. And I drive the carpool. Gotta go get the kids. Gotta get my housewife bimbo butt over to pickup pronto. I play the game. From the sidelines. Behind closed doors. I can’t get caught being sexy, and I think I’m so good that I can get away with it. Gangbangs and all that shit…

What the actual fuck ? Shit. Sugar honey ice tea. This is, like, so no way. I gotta, like, fix it. The pride of the school in the form of muscles and manhood. Waiting on me. Throwing me on the bed or the bleachers or the ground or mmm yes. Now stop screwing around, drop a dress over that bikini, and get my ass down there. I know just what to do… uh huh. I’m so good at being an athletic supporter. Ever since I got pregnant and dropped out. And blew the principal to boot. He used to call me that nickname I had in class. Remember ? They all used to call me Highbeams. Stupid nipples that get me called stuff. It’s totally out of control but I let it run me. It’s not a curse, it’s a blessing. Just be it. Even as I hear myself sounding so silly. And know I never can. Never could. Never would, never will. Never. Never get out of this.

The demon was supposed to make me look like Megan Fox, not some dumb trashy skank of a small-chested suburb wife soccer mom past her prime who drives a bimbo box and had a ton of babies… but I don’t mind. I don’t have any mind to find it any. Might as well just fit in. It feels so good ! So right. And I have such school spirit ! I’ll just be as he made me. As I was born. As I will be. I’m a good dumb hot old wife for life until death do I part. Fuck yeah.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. Absolutely wild Rachel thinks it makes sense Rhea wouldn’t be the single named parent to the sisters/“friends” while Kronos is the single named parent to the brothers as if Rhea isn’t literally an anagram for Hera, her ancient art isnt modeled to look like Hestia, and that she shares divine mother/fertility status with Demeter. Like cmon, giving Hades an Oedipus complex is not worth it when the more obvious connections is right there and would actually get rid of the weird explicit incest and overtones she was desperately trying to get rid of but (accidentally?) made so much worse.

2. yall gotta realize the extent of rachel's "research' is purely a 30 second glance at google and thats it. thats why hephaestus has runner blades instead of actual prosthetics, it's why ares' military uniform isnt correct, it's why she puts in french aesthetics despite the country not even existing yet, its why sicily is framed as more important and the actual birthplace of these gods than actual greece, and the list goes on and on. rachel doesnt care about being remotely accurate and never has.

3. im confused because wasnt it a point persephone was uncomfortable with hades being hyper violent especially over her? yet this whole trial has been him going overboard in being a violet prat to literally everyone especially when its not warranted. tho for all we know rachel either forgot the part of persephone being uncomfortable with it or thinks everyone else forgot and shes reimplementing it bc she thinks its hot. anyway name a more iconic duo than LO and inconsistency over everything.

4. I don' care if the readers are young and don't know any better, literally no one with more than two brain cells would ever be cool and even approve of Persephone, only a week into being 20, would throw away her entire life, friends, and family (and possibly even her own powers if she eats the Pom) for some guy she's only known a most a month who doesn't respect her wants and obsesses over her body. Demeter is literally the only sane person in this sorry and she's the bad guy? Seriously?

5. tbh if you're 2000+ years old, are super rich, framed as the most desirable and power and sexy, and are a literal KING and you still couldnt find a wife or even a true relationship in all that time maybe the problem is you, buddy, not that everyone else isnt good enough or you haven't found an impressionable teenager to fawn over you.

6. Yeah Thanatos constantly flinching and being frightened of hades considering that was his caretaker has some rather bad implications to what hades was actually like off screen to this kid (and he was terrible on screen).

7. This comic's writing is my getting worse because Apollo read it and was so offended at his portrayal that he cursed Rachel and her writing forever.

8. im honestly shocked rachel would go with the "hera made hephaestus herself" version bc its so overwhelming ableist AND misogynistic because it says hera isnt good enough on her own and thats why hephaestus isnt "right" like everyone else, especially against athena. idk i think it would have been nicer if he was zeus and hera's kid together and it'd be a sweeter story of them loving him and sticking up against people who doubt and bully him, but god forbid this fanfic depict them positively 😑

9. to add on the "perfect looks" anon, even ancient greeks didnt depict the gods all the same? like hera and demeter were depicted as more matronly, aphrodite was more curvy, artemis was more skinny, athena muscular, etc. even the guys werent all the same (apollo, eros, and dionysus looked more effeminate, hermes looked more like a teen, hephaestus was more muscular, etc) so the idea rachel is "clever" for having everyone look the same is wrong and just badly excusing her for being a lazy artist.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

10. FP// Sorry but the only god the mortals feared was Hades and for very obvious reasons, but even then they didn't see him as a monster. Literally every other god, including Pan who is a major weirdo, was well loved and respected. I think Hades is just projecting his own insecurities onto everyone else when they clearly don't have the same issue. Plus in this he's so violent and cruel and literally enslaves the dead, why wouldn't the mortals see him as a monster? Get a hint, idiot.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 4 Episode 3: Gang of Secret

(Spoilers below)

-So they just beat a villain, and Ladybug is acting SUS. Like she doesn't Want to leave yet. Hmm

-Chat noir YOU SLICK MOFO. (I dare not ruin it, because I am laughing at it)

-She is still not over her break up. So I guess Lukanette stans, get whatever remains of your juice while its there.

-Ladybug ... sweetie. Do you need a hug? Cause you look like you need a hug.

-Chat noir realizing his idea was NOT very smart after that.

-Ladybug ruining experiences for a LOT of couples today

-Chat noir trying to help, but Ladybug aint telling him

-They are going swimming now. Chat noir for once, is not thrilled about hanging out with Ladybug... thats a YIKES.

-She has goggles and a towel, so she did go swimming.

-The Kwami see her in pain, QUICK, TEAR DOWN THE PHOTOS.

-She said no tho, but clearly sad about it.

______________

-So Alya is giving the girl posse the rundown on Marinette. Claiming she is lovesick.

-Rose thought they were cute, and Juleka says nothing. Is it wrong that I want Juleka to have an opinion? Whether positive OR negative

-Juleka is like "Yea, he is sad." shows picture of sad Luka. Though to be fair, that is a decent pic of him.

- So Alya is LAST to know. Double ouch.

-Marinette was crying in the bathroom, baby girl no!

-MARINETTE OMG! HOW DOES SHE HAVE THAT?!

-Alya out here trying to be a good friend. By showing Marinette she has support. (She aint even mad that she was last to find out. She is more concerned about her friend)

-THEY HAVE A SECRET HANDSHAKE!

-They calling her now

-She didn't answer. She is too sad

-So she won't detransform and talk with tikki. Can I PLEASE give her a hug. She needs it.

-Yo... Marinette has zero concern for herself and only detransformed when she thought it was causing strain on Tikki.

-Mylene offering friendship bracelets. Never change dear.

-Okay so are they witches now?

-Alix is like 'Can I not be in a ritual, Id rather give her some juice'

_________________

-Marinette sad cause Ladybug can't have a boyfriend. Cause even if she dated Adrien, it would be the same as it was with Luka.... Tikki knows that aint true but can't say why. UGH! This is pain

-Did Tikki just confirm Kwami can't fall in love? NO! MY CHEESECAKE!

-OH S***! So now she gonna be Perma ladybug?!

-So the girls showed up as soon as ladybug left. This isn't good.

-And of course Marinette is TOO GOOD at making s***, so they curious about the new dollhouse

-OH S*** THAT WAS CLOSE!

-And things going to s*** in 10, 9, 8

-Oh no... this... this is not good. Marinette sweetie no. No please.

-Look can we take a second and APPRECIATE HOW HARD ALYA AND THE GIRLS ARE GOING FOR MARINETTE! Did the writers see all of the alya salt and say 'Yea f*** that noise'? Cause I feel like they did.

-Okay so I know Marinette just didn't want to expose her secret... but damn girl... THAT was harsh.

-Marinette literally going scorched earth for being Ladybug... Okay, this episode PHYSICALLY hurts me. SHE DOESNT MEAN IT GIRLS. PLEASE DONT HATE HER.

-Shadowmoth could you not. Like seriously?! COULD YOU F***ING NOT! MY BABY GIRL IS IN PAIN AND I WILL GO THROUGH MY SCREEN AND [Redacted]

-And then you'll have to f*** sideways.

-So first 5 way akumatization

-So can we talk about how the last 3 akuma were after the secrets of Marinette. well 2, but the other one was Adrien. But still. A Lot of Hawkmoth saying 'F*** this individual in particular'

-THEY JUST WANT HER TO STAY THEIR FRIEND! OMG I CANT EVEN BE MAD.

-I wish I could understand Juleka. Can someone please just translate with what she is saying. It was funny in truth, but I want to know

-OH Timebreaker and Horrificator are BACK. Yay, I missed them

-Just realized how AMAZING their Gang of akuma are. Like damn, thats like a super team of evil. Yea sure

___________________________

-Not to nitpick, but Marinette, you should have led with that box.

-TRIXX IS GONNA USE HIS POWERS OMG FINALLY! A PURE KWAMI POWER. We haven't seen that since Plagg.

-Damn that was a really boss illusion trixx. But question, how was that out of control? Like if anything, that was BETTER then when the user used it.

-Trixx makes a really good point. WHY DOES HE NEED A HOLDER AGAIN?!

-OH, HE WAS LYING. EVERYTHING LOOKS F***ING BANANAS.

-Trixx is now my second favorite Kwami.

-PLAGG! MY SON! HE IS IN THE EPISODE! I MISSED HIM. Also, surprisingly knows.

-Plagg cares about other Kwami.

-Adrien just chilling, watching tv. XD

-Timebreaker casually committing murder

-Hold it, Okay so why are so many people in school right now? Ivan is there, chloé and Sabrina? Oh my tomato son too. Can someone tell me wtf is up with this school schedule?

-Fragrance/Reflekta Power combo is amazing.

-Wow, this gang is MEGA DANGEROUS

-So yea Ladybug. Maybe... idk... TALK WITH CHAT NOIR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS!?

-So they really gotta plan this time.

-Ladybug smart to disarm Ladywifi.

-Ladybug trying to get lady wifi to fight the akuma. This is touching

-SHE DID IT! ALYA BROKE FREE! LIKE A MOTHERF***ING BOSS.

-No, shadow moth, you's a b***

-Loving this Alya- Ladybug friendship

-Chat noir looking boss by fighting 3 akuma at once while on the phone. Chat noir Leveled up.

-So Ladybug can now pull the miraculous out of anywhere because she has guardian status. Thats a cool trick. Makes it much easier.

-Thats a secret tho, Alya got trusted with a big secret.

-RENA ROUGE IN THE HOUSE!

_______

-And Chat noir is captured... but in his defense. He did have to fight 4 at once this time. So that took longer than usual. So no shame kitty. You did well.

-Lucky charm is an inner tube

-Clever illusion. POINTS! Using the goal of the akuma to distract. Alya gets gull points!

-WOW! REALLY CLEVER ILLUSION.

-Ladybug suave catch of rose tho.

-So that was probably the best Group akuma attack since Heroes day (and honestly it probably tops it)

________

-Marinette patches things up with her friends. That is a relief. She was able to somewhat explain her issues up to the point. Without spilling the details.

-Marinette has some really good friends.

-Alya knows that not everything has been told... Hold on DONT TELL ME.

-Oh wow, Marinette is breaking down.... My poor baby girl is hurting real bad.

-OH S*** SHE SAID IT! SHE TOLD HER! SHE TOLD ALYA!

____________________________________________________________

wow this episode... This one hurt. This one hurt a LOT. But also, it was really good.

Okay so, 10/10.

I haven't been this enthralled with an episode in a long time.

Are there one or two nitpicks? Absolutely.

Do I wish somethings were not mentioned? A little bit.

Am I glad Alya knows? Out of everyone, she is the second person I wanted Marinette to tell.

(The first one being chat noir, but lets face it, we kind of knew that won't be happening for a while.)

So can Alya salt stop now? Cause Alya CLEARLY showed how much of a motherf***ing boss she is.

But damn I didn't feel this emotional since Chat blanc.

I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THE AKUMA WERE REPEATS.

That was OBJECTIVELY, one of the best episodes in the entire series.

This made me rethink my favorite episode. THATS HOW GOOD IT WAS.

Season 4, You keep doing what you are doing. Your writing (minus some very minor nitpicks) has been pretty damn good.

[noctilucid]

DannyMay Day 5: Doorway

"Are you guys seeing this?"  Danny's voice sparked through the background distortion of their Fenton Phones.  

"What is it?"  Sam craned her head in his direction, but her driver's ed training refused to let her release the steering wheel of the Specter Speeder.  Across the seat from her, Tucker shifted to lean against the window.  

"Not from here dude," he replied.  "What's up with those doors?"

"They've got a plaque between them.  Seriously, you've gotta see this.  I think the island's big enough to land on."

Tucker looked back at Sam, and they exchanged a shrug.  

"You heard the man.  Adventure calls!"

Sam circled around to approach the tiny landing ground, chewing her bottom lip as she delicately maneuvered to set them down on the slab of rock which was barely larger than the Speeder itself.    When she felt the landing gear dig its retractable claws into the stone, sending vibrations through the carriage, she un-tensed and remembered to breathe, smiling to herself.  She'd gotten good at this; there was no way she wasn't passing her driver's test come April.  

She popped her door open, Tucker scrambling out behind her, and they shuffled sideways along the available ledge to where Danny was hovering in front of the two doors mounted at the edge of the bare island.  A plaque floated between them, carved in dark wood.  

"Woah."  Sam traced a finger over the florid raised border.  There was an embossed image of a woman in a long dress and a snarling tiger, with text below.

"What?" Tucker squeezed in behind her.  She scooted a little further down to make room for him, Danny floating up above the two of them.  

"Can you believe it?" Danny asked, looking down on them with a lopsided grin, wide enough to border on manic.  

"The Lady or the Tiger," Sam read.  "In instances of unknown guilt, the accused shall select one door of the twain to receive justice."  

"Wait, like that short story we just had to read?" Tucker pulled out his PDA and tapped something in.  "Stockton, 1882."

"Do you think I could get extra credit if I took a picture of it?"  Danny's grin stretched a little farther and became a little toothier.  Ghost mouths had a tendency to do such things.

"So he based his short story on a place in the Ghost Zone?" Tucker mused.  

"Or the story became so popular that it manifested out of the ether," Sam said.  "I mean, it was influential enough that it's become a figure of speech."

Danny tipped over so that he was floating upside-down.  "So would you say that ‘The Lady or the Tiger’ could be a chicken or egg scenario?"  

Tucker groaned.  "God, Danny."

"No, no," Sam said, "this is an improvement.  His puns are getting cleverer over time."  

"There's also a third option," Danny added.  "Stockton became a ghost and his lair pays homage to his most memorable achievement."  Sam considered it and nodded.  

Tucker snapped a photo and saved it.  "Well, if you're getting extra credit, so are we.  I had to rewrite my last paper after Cujo drooled on my first draft."  

"Sorry," Danny said, righting himself.  Tucker waved him off.

"Not your fault.  But blaming you makes me feel better."  Sam snorted and knocked shoulders with him.  Danny stole his beret and shoved it on his own head.  

"So… you wanna open the doors and see what's behind them?" Danny asked, sinking down between them.  

"I don't think that's a good idea," Sam said.  "I prefer to avoid situations where I might get eaten."  

"Tuck?"  Danny flopped his head on Tucker's shoulder.  Tucker took the opportunity to grab his hat back.  "There might be a pretty lady."  

"I thought we weren't expanding this trio without a full consensus."  

Danny reeled back in fake shock.  Sam slung an arm around Danny’s shoulders.  "He's matured so much!" she joked.  

"Hey," Tucker put a hand over his heart.  "I'm a family man."  

"Fine, we'll leave the doors unopened.  We'll never know the answer to the mystery that has haunted the past two centuries.  If you guys are cool with that."  

"And how are we supposed to finish our mission before school on Monday if you get mauled by a tiger?"  Sam gestured Tucker back towards the Speeder door, following in his wake.  

"I can put a beacon on the island if you want to come back," Tucker suggested.  "We could try to trick Walker into opening one."  

"Ooooo, yes please."   Danny floated up over the Speeder pod as Tucker climbed in and dug something out of his backpack.  He handed it out to Sam, who kneeled at the edge of the island and pressed the device into a crag on the underside.  She brushed off her hands as she stood up.  

"Alright, no more distractions.  We've got a book to return."