#like serious

[beau-rebloga-coisas]

Open Tumblr more news from Gaza being destroyed while I can't do nothing open Twitter more news pf USA that's going to elect a fascist open Instagram Brazil "Bible's politicians" trying to pass a bill that'll make people that perform abortion even in rape cases criminals with jail time bigger than the rapists Please Fucking Get Me Put Of Here close all social media and go watch a video they're advertising ChatGPT close my YouTube and go eat something I notice the Nestle logo and I didn't know this was a Nestle product and I didn't notice because that was the only product option of that kind don't feel hungry so I sit down silently in my bedroom with my cat and that's it

[anchoeritic]

let me do a line off of ellie’s v-line real quick x

[adelacreations]

hot take but if someone who is a friend of an author calls you rude for adding "waste of time" to your comment and then you respond with almost a essay about how I was rude to you and it was written in sarcasm. please, if that was written in sarcasm you would have mentioned it

Don't backpedal because someone else besides the author could see that your comment was rude and entitled AF. And don't say "if the author says that my comment was rude, I would delete it don't speak for them"

Calling you rude and entitled for making a comment like that isn't a personal attack, and sorry you made my friend upset with your comment.

[freudensteins-monster]

immediately after lamenting my lack of writing of late my brain goes “hey what if we post that chapter of that thing we have?”. You mean that thing that is not remotely finished and the only finished chapter came out of its third rewrite/complete idea overhaul? “Yeah, that one. Posting that will make us happy.” ...sure, for about a minute, until someone says ‘can’t wait for the next chapter’ and we have to deal with the fact that there isn’t another fucking chapter.

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[liquidstar]

my brother was making fun of me and our other brother for having the same haircut, and we were immediately like "what the fuck are you talking about? you had this EXACT SAME haircut like a year ago. this is your haircut too. jackass." so we start arguing back and forth until our mom stops us and says "come here." and she brings out her ID from when she was a teenager and... its the same haircut.

[oldbutchdaniel]

hey guys if you’re planning on making a vaguepost on the dashboard can you message me with the details and some of the lore behind the vague post you’re making. a vaguepost for the dash and a detailedpost for me. because i like to know what’s going on. if you do this i will automatically take your side because you’ve done the right thing by letting me know what’s up. thanks in advance ❤️

[mythtakens]

“these characters should be mentally healthy before they get together 😌” ummm no I actually think we should smash their mental illnesses together like clumps of play-doh and see what colors it makes

[lesbianralzarek]

"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw

[merrigel]

Everybody do the wenis!

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[spacedace]

What is it about laying on the floor when you're overwhelmed that makes everything feel so much better?

[mausolealdrift]

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

[anchoeritic]

werewolf! nick smut when?? 🥺🥺

(THIS IS SATIRE! THIS IS A JOKE!) /SRS THIS IS A JOKE.

you know he’s crazy slanging that 15 incher around.. there’s no doubt about it. it’s even worse when the man is a sort of heat but he can’t do anything but shuffle around you, resisting the urge to touch you.

“grrrr..” you could hear him growl from outside the cabin, his footsteps only growing louder as you shook in fear. “GGGRRRRRRRR!!” you were crouched down against the bottom bunk of the bed as your eyes barely peeked over your knees, trying to look out and watch through the windows. but the only thing you were able to catch a glimpse of was his shadow.

but with all your hiding, he still managed to sniff you out from your spot. “GRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!” he let out a loud noise you’d only heard from afar. never in your life did you ever dream of hearing it right in front of you.

“w-what do you want?” tripping over your words, your legs were next to follow as you fell flat onto the hard mattress behind you. he could only stare down at you with darkened eyes, breathing heavily.

it took a minute of silence for you to finally understand what was going on; the tent in his pants growing larger as he began to come closer to you. he could bite your head off any second and honestly, you could too. not the one on his neck, though. preferably the one leaking out warm pre-cum for you.

[cat-in-a-mech-suit]

Being forcefully raised as a woman is not any less traumatic and emotionally repressive as being forcefully raised as a man. Femininity is not inherently pure and safe. Coercing someone to perform femininity is not any less toxic than coerced masculinity. Being dysphoric around femininity or having trauma from women doesn’t make you a misogynist.

[cowboybeebonk]

And then she did. Happy pride.

(Alternate versions under cut)