#like right now I should be working and I’m on tumblr lol
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Literally everyone: stimulants can cause you to feel anxious, jittery, and have insomnia! Be careful!
Me, brain functioning like it’s supposed to for the first time ever, two hours after taking my meds: it’s nap time 😇
#she speaks#I took them and went back to bed lmao#slept really well too actually#sorry to spam this shit lmao but no fucking joke I feel like I just shook hands with god and he fixed my fucking brain#like I’m floored#I still get distracted#like right now I should be working and I’m on tumblr lol#but it’s easier to stop and go back to what I should be doing#but I feel so good it’s unreal#I know I’ve said it before but I do#and I was so fucking depressed literally two days ago#and now I’m just ☺️
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Fighting for my life to participate in Yeehawgust this year <- guy who is moving in a week
#I have. one piece in the works right now outside of comms#but once we move we both took a few weeks without work to settle into the new place#so hopefully I’ll have a window of time to make art#I feel like for the past year it’s been a constant battle to find time and energy to make art lol#but this move should change that.#last year we moved states to take care of family#and the family member we moved for has since passed and this current move#is for both of us to attend college#I would guess making art will be easier without the stress and grief of spending your days around an old man on his death bed#I don’t want this to sound too negative I’m glad we came here to take care of family#and my husbands grandfather was a wonderful man#but grief and death are exhausting#hello tumblr notes I mean my diary
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HI TUMBLRR it’s me
#I ate ramen just now it was soooo god I think ramen is just it just is better after 10pm#im right#ughhh ok that actually reminded me earlier my classmate was making an Asian people eat dogs joke like he put on this awful accent and he wa#all like ‘dog tastes so good with rice’ and then he did other stuff too#but what really made me upset is that someone who I thought was my friend found it really humorous! wow okay!#I know it’s not really a big deal but im still kind of sad like I’ve lost all my respect for you now#anddd they were my only friend in the class so now I’m stuck there for the rest of the semester I guess . I mean I’ll still be nice to them#but I just don’t think I can bring myself to like them anymore sorryyy . not really . but kind of#idk if I’m overreacting . in elementary school though people would make jokes actually about me eating dog and it always made me really sad#but I never held it against them cause we were children#but now I feel like you’re old enough to know what you’re laughing at..#wow ok this really derived away from me being on tumblr and having just ate the worlds best ramen#well . not really I mean it was good but I’m allergic to normal noodles and I need to eat rice noodles and they’re not bad I just don’t lik#them as much Lol#I feel like my actual posts say nothing but if anyone ever reads the tags they probably know everything about me..#I use tumblr to complain half the time loll and I used to post my drawings more but I haven’t made any good drawings recently😭😭😭BUT WAIT!#i have a comic I’ll post in October we’ll see how far I am in it by then…#im like . halfway done with chapter oneeeee so maybe like I’ll post all of chapter one on hallowern.. how does that sound… cause actually#for those of you who don’t know my story has ghosts in it#im like trying to keep it a little silly right now but the tone might shifftttt idk!!!!! we’ll seeeeeeee cause actually I have NOT worked#out the entire plot.. just like. most of it.#but I keep having ideas like midway through ughhh it’s an endless cycle!!!!!#like Francis . she used to be a random character who shows up once but then I was like . wait no! anjali should have ghost friends! and tha#that’s how Francis came to be#and actually today I kind of finalized her design^_^ albeit in my math notebook lol
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I’m always late to the party but omg I love this fic already!! Enemies to lovers villain au w crack SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!! Pardon my multiple tags of nonsense it’s the primary way of expressing my thoughts on the fic 😅
Versus | MYG, JHS - Chapter One
Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok
Genre: smut, fluff, angst, crack, enemies to lovers, Villains!AU
Rating: M (18+)
Warnings: weapons - daggers & laser swords (*cough like lightsabers cough*), use of restraints, swearing, violence (hand-to-hand combat), fingering, oral sex (f receiving), mentions of squirting, Dior Hobi and Ginger Yoongi are the visuals here
Word Count: 2.9K
Disclaimer: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me
Summary: Supervillain exes Yoongi and Hoseok are sick and tired of having their plans for world domination wrecked by you, aka Vitality, the world’s most powerful superhero. When fellow villain Jimin suggests a little competition to see who can bring you to your knees, they both eagerly accept. Now the battle is on as both men engage you in fight after fight to see who will conquer you first. Will you finally defeat these two, or will they destroy you - and possibly take each other out in the process?
A/N: It's finally here! This new series stems from an ask I got back in November from my beloved Bloobs pointing out that red-headed Yoongi in that striped suit at the PTD press conference was 100% sexy evil villain material. That little idea became this Villains!AU.
Unbeta’d as usual. I’d love to know what you think - my inbox is always open! 💕
Series Masterlist ✨ Chapter Two ✨ Character Playlists
CHAPTER ONE: A MODEST PROPOSAL
You tug against the restraints, testing their give. There is none.
“Finally, our little dance comes to an end, pretty bird,” Yoongi coos, twirling his dagger, the light from the lamp swinging overhead reflecting off the long blade. “Does that make you sad?”
“You make me sad,” you hiss. “You’re pathetic.”
He’s annoying the fuck out of you right now, as usual, refusing to shut up long enough to let you figure out what’s going on with your powers. Again you try to access them and fail.
This isn’t the time to panic. You need to get free. Guess you’ll have to do this the hard way.
Yoongi’s gaze rakes over you slowly as you hang helplessly against the wall. Ignoring the sudden stirring in your gut, you pull on the ropes. There. Your left hand. If you can just twist a little more….
Yoongi presses his blade against your throat. The cold metal bites into your skin as his other hand grips your shoulder, and you freeze, going completely still beneath his touch.
“What was that, pretty bird?” he asks, cat-like eyes targeted on your lips. “Say that again.”
You glower at the handsome villain with the ginger hair. “I said, you. Are. Pathetic!”
His laugh echoes throughout the room. “Incredible. Even at death’s door, you’re still obnoxious.” He steps closer, face hovering above yours as he traces down your cheek with the tip of his weapon. You tilt your head away, inadvertently exposing more of your neck. “Look at this lovely blank canvas, just asking to be marked up. Should I use my blade or my teeth?” He snaps at you and you recoil despite the shiver that races through you. “No response? You’re not even going to beg for your life?”
“I’ll never beg,” you growl through grit teeth, eyes flashing. Yoongi smirks.
“Let’s find out.” He sheaths his dagger and now both of his hands are around your throat, not squeezing, just resting heavily, as his thumbs trace over the hollow of your neck. “I can feel your pulse, pretty bird. It’s so fast. I think you’re terrified.”
You scoff, but you can feel your heart beating so fast, it’s threatening to jump out of your chest.
Yoongi licks his lips, humming happily. “I think I could have you begging in no time. Asking for sweet release.” His fingertips flutter over your cheek. “I bet you’d beg so sweetly.”
You’re so close. Just keep him distracted.
“Fuck off,” you spit out, “you couldn’t give me the release I want if you tried.”
Yoongi pauses. He squints.
“What was that?”
Shit. You’re really bad at this whole banter thing. It’s probably your least favorite part of the superhero gig. Maybe you should ask Namjoon for some help. The man’s got a wicked tongue.
“Nothing, nevermind! You’re - you’re so fucking lame,” you sneer, but from the grin on Yoongi’s face, you know he’s not buying it.
“Why, pretty bird, you surprise me! I wasn’t referring to that type of release, but I am… amenable… to suggestions like that,” he purrs, one hand dropping to your waist as he chuckles. His long fingers stroke your side.
Focus. On the restraints, god, not on his hand or the way that his deft fingers are etching tiny circles into your hip…
There!
“I have another suggestion,” you whisper, biting your lip. Yoongi watches your mouth with naked interest.
“And what is that?”
“Learn how to tie a proper knot, fucker.”
The last thing Yoongi sees before your fist connects with his face is your smirk.
ZZZZZZZRT!
Your laser sword buzzes against Hobi’s as you block another swing. He has you on your heels, retreating as he cuts through the air violently, a nasty grin on his lips.
You curse yourself for letting your swordsmanship get so rusty and swipe at the villain as he cackles darkly. “Give it up, little bee,” he commands, and you raise the electric blade in time to prevent losing an ear. “You can’t defeat me like this. Your skills are no match for mine.”
He’s not wrong. Once again without your powers, you have to rely on your other abilities, and wielding this fancy weapon is nowhere near the top of the list.
“Defeat this!” you shout lamely, throwing a punch with your free hand, but he easily dodges, still laughing. You continue to back away, unaware that one of his henchmen lies unconscious behind you until you trip over the body and land on your ass.
Fuck.
He advances slowly, taking his time. You’re both panting, dripping sweat. He runs a hand through his dark hair, lifting it from his gorgeous face. You hold your blade in front of you and he simply knocks it away, dropping his as well.
He’s on you before you can react, kneeling over your thighs, one hand pinning your wrists to the ground while the other clutches at your throat. “I don’t even need any weapons now. I can break you with my bare hands.” His grip is ironclad, but you keep struggling anyway, trying to break free as his fingers stroke your chin. “Come now, no need to fight anymore. Don’t you want to give in? Let me take control?”
A heat pools in your belly. You can so easily imagine what it would be like.
It scares you to no end.
“Fuck off, you monster,” you scowl. “I’ll never let you have control.” Inhaling shakily, you do your best to glower up at him as his hand rubs your stomach, like he can sense the heat coiling there and seeks to stoke it.
Hobi sighs. “It could be so sweet, little bee. Just say the word and I’ll show you.”
“If you’re going to kill me, do it already and spare me this bullshit.”
“Kill you? I’m offering you the chance at pleasure, and you’re asking me to kill you?” His eyes narrow. “You disappoint me so.”
“Do it. Finish me off. Don’t torture me by promising me pleasure you can’t deliver,” you spit back.
Hobi just laughs. “Seriously? Now you’re trying to goad me into proving it to you, so you can get the upper hand again?”
Well, actually, yes. Goddamn stupid banter. You’ve got to get better at this distraction tactic.
He shakes his head. “After all this time, I truly expected better from you. This lame attempt won’t work.”
“Whatever,” you seethe, sneering. “Doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t be good like this anyway.”
“And what makes you say that?” Hobi inquires, raising an eyebrow.
“Because!” You summon all your strength and roll, hard, flipping your positions. As he stares up at you, mouth hanging open in surprise, you wink. “It’s always better when I’m on top!”
Grabbing your sword, you smack him with the hilt, knocking him out.
Jimin clicks the overhead projector off and the wall goes black.
Hobi folds his arms. “Did you call us here just to show us the videos of our latest defeats?”
Yoongi cocks his head. “How did you show us the videos of our latest defeats? Did you have Jungkook hack our systems again?”
Jimin waves his hand. “We can discuss the how later. The reason why is pretty evident, don’t you think?” He takes a seat behind his desk, propping his feet up on the glass surface. “You’ve both lost your touch.”
Hobi arms the laser gauntlets he wears while two blades slide out of Yoongi’s sleeves.
“Hold on, hold on,” Jimin attempts to placate the two before they unleash hell. He just got the blood out of his rug after the last time. “All I’m saying is, it’s way past time that someone removes Vitality from the board for good. Watching those videos, it could have been either of you.” He tuts. “I even loaned you both my power disrupter tech and she still kicked your asses!”
“That tech is glitchy as fuck and you know it, Jimin-ah.” Yoongi mutters, sheathing his daggers, as Hobi nods in agreement.
“Yeah, I keep asking you to send me the specs so I can review them and figure out where the fuck you went wrong.”
“The tech isn’t the issue,” Jimin maintains his brilliant smile, but his left eye twitches slightly. “You both had the world’s most powerful superhero in your clutches, completely at your mercy, and then you just… lost.”
“Hyung could’ve taken her out if he hadn’t been thinking with his dick,” Hobi drawls.
Yoongi blinks languorously at his ex. “You’re one to talk. What was that about ‘pleasure,” again?”
Hobi uncrosses his arms. “Of course you’d have no idea what I’m talking about.”
Yoongi swivels in his seat. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean??”
“Hey!” Jimin claps his hands. “I didn’t call this meeting so you two could relitigate your disastrous relationship for the millionth time.”
When Jimin had sent out the evite for today’s meeting, he figured he’d have to do some cajoling or even some old-fashioned begging to get them both into his office once they realized what he’d done. After all, both have complained his ear off lately about the other. But instead, the two seemed to be under some tacit agreement to act as if everything were totally fine, like they weren’t in the presence of their most hated enemy. An unspoken contest to show who could give the fewest fucks.
He should’ve known that uneasy detente wouldn’t last.
Yoongi and Hobi stop glaring at each other to glare at the rainbow-haired man behind the desk instead.
“Then why did you call us here?” Hobi finally asks.
“Because, I would like to propose a challenge.” Jimin beams, a deceptively angelic smile lighting up his beautiful face. Neither man responds. “Well? Aren’t you going to ask what I’m proposing?”
“No,” Hobi replies flatly.
“Just tell us what your warped little mind is scheming now,” Yoongi adds.
Jimin holds a hand over his heart. “Ouch. Okay. I’m proposing that the two of you go head-to-head in a battle to see who can defeat Vitality first. No more plans to freeze the entire planet or block out the sun or whatever the hell the two of you have been plotting lately. Time to focus on one goal: eliminating the enemy.“
Yoongi frowns. “Why a battle?”
“Would you rather work together?”
The two men eye each other for several long seconds before both emphatically answer, “No.”
“But why should it be the two of us and not, say, you?” Hobi inquires.
“Because no one’s gotten as close as either of you, including me,” Jimin explains.
“Because he wants us to do his dirty work,” Yoongi translates.
“Ah, right.”
“That’s not true!” Jimin insists. “I mean, yes, I would obviously benefit from you keeping her out of my hair, but… look, you both came so damn close. Don’t you want to finish the job?”
“Of course. I want her out of the way. But I’m not about to jump through a bunch of your hoops to get it done,” Yoongi informs him.
“No hoops! Just a simple competition. The two of you take her on one by one until someone finally annihilates her once and for all.”
“But… why?” Hobi asks, arching a brow. “What do we get out of this?”
Jimin spreads his hands. “Everything! Think about the boost to your reputation alone! The villain who defeats the strongest superhero in recorded history would be peerless, wouldn’t they? Top of the pecking order, cock of the walk, insert your favorite cliché here. No one would question your power.”
Hobi scoffs. “I don’t give a fuck what others think of me.”
Yoongi laughs loudly, drawing an irate look from the other man.
“What the fuck are you laughing about?”
“Oh, please! You couldn’t possibly care more!”
“Fuck you, I’ve never given a damn ab-”
“I have three words for you,” Yoongi interrupts, holding up his fingers to tick them off. “The. Riga. Incident.”
“You said you’d never bring that up again!”
“Oh, but you don’t care what people think, right? So maybe I should tell Jimin what happened in Latvia!”
“Fuck you!” Hobi’s on his feet.
“No, fuck you!” As is Yoongi.
And so is Jimin, diving between them. “HEY!”
Blades and gauntlets hover, waiting. The air is thick with tension. Jimin can feel a migraine lurking.
“Calm. The fuck. Down.” He gently places a hand on each of their chests, guiding them back into their chairs. “You want to know why I thought a battle would be a good idea? This is why. I’ve tried to get the two of you to work your shit out and nothing’s helped. Maybe this way, you can funnel all of this anger into something useful. Something other than turning my rug into a goddamn bloody Jackson Pollack!”
Yoongi and Hobi continue to observe one another closely, monitoring for any signs of attack from the other as Jimin returns to his seat. Taking a deep breath, he straightens his tie, smooths the lapel of his gunmetal gray suit, and runs his hand through his colorful hair. The glossy facade returns as he smiles.
“Gentlemen. Commit to this competition. Get rid of Vitality. Bring her to her fucking knees and destroy her. Once she falls, that stupid organization she works for won’t be far behind.” He chuckles derisively. “We all know she’s the only real threat to us. None of the other supers can hold a candle to her power. They’ll be easy pickings once she’s out of the way. And when that group is gone, the path to total domination will be clear. Take Vitality out,” he stands again, leaning over his desk, “and there’s nothing stopping you from taking over the world.” His tiny fist pounds his desk for extra oomph.
Jimin’s dramatic as fuck, Yoongi thinks, but dammit if he’s not persuasive.
“Fuck it. I’m in,” Hobi declares, holding out a hand. Yoongi flattens his lips, taking a second to decide, before shaking it.
“Excellent!” Jimin rubs his hands excitedly. “We can work out the terms of the challenge later. I’m fucking starving - should we grab some dinner?”
“Hold on. I still want to talk about how you got those videos,” Yoongi states, blades flashing into the air again as Hobi rearms his gauntlets. Jimin gulps.
He knew he should’ve bought a red rug.
Sitting up with a start, you glance wildly around your room. “What the fuck was that?”
“Mmmm?” Namjoon lifts his head, licking his plush lips. “What?”
“I felt something. Something… different.”
“Oh, that? I just turned this on. Sorry, guess I should’ve warned you.” He pulls his hand from where it’s currently engaged, and wiggles his fingers. A bright purple vibrator waves at you from his index.
You frown at the hunky man lying between your legs. “Christ, Joon, not the vibrator. I obviously noticed that, and don’t you fucking think about taking it off, but I also felt something else. Like a change in the air.”
“Ohhhhh shit, like a fluctuation in one of your energy field thingys or something?”
Or something. Thanks to your superpowers, you see things a little differently than others do. The world is bathed in a multi-colored glow thanks to the energy fields present in everything - every living creature and every object - that you’re able to perceive. Kinetic, potential, radiant, etc. - doesn’t matter the type, all of these leave you viewing life through a constant prism.
But lately, not only can you see these fields, you can feel them.
And something just shifted somewhere, hard enough that it sent a crazy shiver down your spine.
Or maybe that was just Joon and his magic touch.
“Do you wanna go talk to Doc? Visit the lab?”
Why bother? Since you’re the world’s first known energy vampire (you really wish you’d had a say in the nomenclature, because that name sounds like you’re an exceedingly dull office drone and not the most powerful being on the planet), your powers do nothing but consistently stump the scientists. All they really know is that you feed off the fields, absorbing the energy, and your body transforms it into a concussive force that you use to fight.
Besides, it’s ridiculous that you have to report anything to anyone, anyway. No one can challenge your status as the most formidable superhero in existence. Shouldn’t they all be reporting to you?
You really gotta work on that whole “no I in team” thing.
“Eh, won’t do any good. They don’t know shit.” Lying back, you resume your comfortable position on your pillows.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind if you need to stop.”
You raise your head, giving your teammate a look. “Excuse me? You promised you’d give me, and I quote, ‘the squirt of a lifetime’ tonight. Are you trying to back out?”
“Fuck no.” Namjoon clicks the vibe on again. His finger begins to shake. “I’m just warming up, baby. You’re gonna soak these sheets. I fuckin’ promise.”
“Back to work, then.”
The soft yellow aura emanating from Joon brightens as he returns to his task, and you let his ministrations carry you away, trying to forget the strange sensation from earlier.
It only takes two orgasms before you both succeed.
© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.
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#okay so I wanted to start from the beginning bc I just got back on tumblr recently and saw there’s a chapter SEVENNNNN?#but I gotta do it the ✨right way✨ and scream in the tags of every single chapter I apologize in advance#first of all HOW ARE SOPE NOT EMBARRASSED??? HOW ARE SOPE NOT /EMBARRASSED/??? THEIR BOSS CAUGHT THEM EACH HITTING ON YN AKA VITALITY IN 4K#IN 4K!!!#LIKE clearly they want to kill her but they also want to fuck her HELP!!!! i love this kind of shit tho don’t mind me I’m just saying#yoongi trying to put it all one Hobi w ‘thinking with your dick’ BRO WE WERE THERE!!! CMON NOW YOONGI!!!#also I love how vitality like. isn’t the smoothest and actually flubs on any witty remarks lol it’s a funny and imo cute trait of hers#bc coming up w witty shit on the spot isn’t easy especially w a knife and hot villain at your throat hello#also butter! jimin!!!! yes!!!#i also like this hero yn because she’s…different#‘shouldn’t they all be reporting to /you?/‘ like babe you’re absolutely right they SHOULD BE#you should be in charge w the underlings and subordinates and wow yknow maybe yn chose the wrong profession#bitch you could be the villain boss if you flipped right now come on let’s go I believe in you!!!!#also namjoon HELLO?? good for yn#i am loving this story already!!#also sope fighting was so juicy like did I feel abt them fighting maybe .2% the rest was like OH WOW HE SAID WHAT#now I wonder how things will progress…will they team up…will they end up fucking yn…would they get jealous over yn but also OF yn#until they both decide to work together and double team her pun intended#bc like. yn seems kinda down even tho she isn’t atm#i for one would like to see yn become jimins and therefore sopes new boss bc she’s that girl#thank you for this chapter and this fun story idea!! i am soooo invested!!
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i think this would suit lando but you being down and lando comes over later at night and takes you the park like two little kids, i can just imagine lando being a big kid at the park lmao
I’m going to need someone to love me like the fictional lando i write abt 24/7
We Can Be Kids For Right Now (LN4)
Summary: When her week has tried to suffocate her, Lando turns up at her door and forces her to remember just how worthy she truly is.
Warnings: mentions of heavy anxiety attacks, anxiety in general, language
Note: a draft bc im wrecked rn from this trip im on im so tried lol… I hate that I have to start saying this but I do not condone the reposting of my work without proper crediting or permission. If you wish to post my works elsewhere, it needs to be ran by me first by messages over Tumblr. If found that you have taken my works without my knowledge, I will report you and get my posts taken down from your blog.
Y/n never truly realized she did it until Lando, but when the man started to get close to her, he brought it to her attention that she so easily isolated herself when she started struggling. Even the smallest inconvenience and she shut down, something that irritated the hell out of Lando. Nevertheless, he loved her and the way she dealt with her emotions was something he knew she just needed to work on.
However, the problem they couldn’t get past was her ability to tell him when she was struggling. There were only so many times when he could see it written all over her face.
His comments urging her to open up to him when she was having a hard time dealing with it on her own bounced around in her head as she clutched her phone in her hands, his contact picture brightening her screen. His smile beamed back at her, almost coaxing her into tapping the call button, but her thumb hesitated. It wasn’t that she was afraid of telling him, it was that she was uncomfortable with her own emotions. Uncomfortable of leaning into them. Growing up, she was never given that ability, her parents not having the full capacity to address them head on. She never thought it truly affected her until Lando. She started realizing that he never gave her a problem to be scared, but she still was.
Her thumb had a mind of its own, though. Thankfully. And the ringing tone met her ears before she could even know what was happening. His picking up happened before she could even begin to think about hanging up the phone.
“Baby!” His cheery voice rang through the quiet room and warmed her tender heart. “What’s up? Why are you up so late? Do you want a sweet treat again?” He giggled, his TV pausing in the background.
She was silent. Her mind raced as she tried to make the split second decision of telling him or not. Though, in her silence, he began formulating an answer.
“Y/n…” He whispered, blankets rustling as she imagined him sitting up on his couch.
“Lan,” She said brokenly, albeit with an effort of trying to sound strong.
Keys rustling and his rushed, “I’m on my way, baby,” were her response.
—
Lando knew where the spare key was. It was one of the first things he asked the location of after they first said I love you. Y/n would always laugh at that memory. What she was expecting after the three words were shared was a small kiss or a hug maybe, but no, he had asked her where her spare key was. When she showed him and he very clearly took a mental note of it, she asked him what was so important about it.
“I’m your boyfriend and we’re in love. I should know where the spare key is, baby.” He had said to her so nonchalantly, as if it was societally normal to have that thought process. She just shook her head at him and took the kiss she wanted for herself. He wasn’t going to do it anyway, too entranced in the image of her spare key under her doormat. He was shenanigans bundled into one person. She loved it.
His rapping on the door pulled her from her memories. She drudged over, taking a deep breath before opening the door. He stood there in his pajamas, puffer coat thrown over haphazardly, and stared at her sympathetically. He shuffled in, arm rounding around her shoulders as he kissed her head, “Hard day?”
She sighed, “Hard week.”
He led her to the couch. The layout of her apartment was memorized in his head. “What happened?”
“I just-” She picked at her fingernails and the anxiety she usually felt when Lando asked about her worries began bubbling up. Maybe it was growth, but she thought he’s already here, isn’t he? Might as well lean on him.
So, she did. Literally and figuratively.
Lando squeezed her body as her side laid on his and she started reliving the low moments of the past few days. “Everything has gone wrong this week. I just can’t seem to win and I can’t make anyone happy.”
Tears filled her eyes and a frown appeared on her face. She cried into his shoulder when he pushed her body further into it.
Lando sat with her for a moment, rubbing her back. “That’s not true, Y/n. You make a lot of people happy. You make me really happy.”
For some reason, his comment shot fear through her body and she pulled from him. Her eyes looked anywhere other than his and the irrational idea of an expectation Lando had set for her that she did not believe in herself to meet took control of whatever plan she had to open up to him.
Lando saw it in her eyes, how distant they got. He knew this was bound to happen. It had been too easy. She had opened up to him without that much restraint and he expected a moment to come where her walls rebuilt themselves.
He just wanted her to let him in.
His hands took her face, “You deserve me. You will not let me down. You could never let me down.” He said, knowing exactly what was running through her mind.
“Y/n, look at me.” He tilted his head to meet her eyes and forced her to keep his stare, “I love you. That will never change.”
She cried harder, “I can’t even open up to you, Lan. I’m not even a good employee at a job I’m overqualified for. Yesterday, I handed in that presentation to my boss that I had been working on for weeks and when I presented it to the board of all fucking people, there was a grammatical error on one of the slides. I had confused ‘your’ and ‘you are’, Lan. It was embarrassing. They laughed and joked about it after. I can’t even fucking do my job. And I upset my mum on Wednesday. I hung up on her during an argument and now she isn’t talking to me. I’m being condemned, Lan. I can’t fucking breathe. My dad’s texting me, telling me how disrespectful I had been, but nobody hears about the parts where she called me an irresponsible adult and ridiculed me for taking a job that didn’t make me that much. Nobody wants to hear my side of the story, the part where she was so grossly unsupportive. Then, I had to cancel on Cameron on Tuesday again because I’m so fucking tired and so fucking busy. She got mad at me and now we’re in this fight because I’ve neglected our friendship. I’m a shit friend, a shit daughter, a shit worker, and it’s so obvious I’m a shit girlfriend. I can’t fucking do anything right.”
By the end of her rant, she was breathless and Lando could see she was talking herself into an anxiety attack. Her hurtful words toward herself needed to be dealt with, but he needed to stop the panic seeping into her skin.
He took her hand and kissed her head, “Come with me, my love.”
She kept crying as he led her to his car, his arm wrapped around her body securely as he whispered words of reassurance in her ear. He reminded her of how strong she was, of how much he loved her and admired her for everything she was. How wrong she was about everything she had convinced herself of.
When he softly laid her in the passenger seat, he kneeled down and kissed her shoulder, brushing her hair off the skin lightly. He looked up at her with deep green eyes filled with safety, “Don’t listen to your mind right now, baby. It’s only telling you lies.”
He lightly closed the door, running around the car to slip into the driver’s seat. When he turned the engine on, his hand settled on her thigh and began rubbing softly. He backed down and drove down the road, toward a small park at the end of her street. It was quick, maybe a minute or two, and Y/n was still crying when they parked, but it subsided momentarily when she saw where they were.
“Why are we at the park?” Lando grabbed her hand and kissed the knuckles.
He laid his cheek down on the back of her palm, murmuring, “Because it’ll be fun to be kids for right now. Not have to think about what you’re going through. We can address that later.”
A sigh of relief left her chest. The moment he had given her an opportunity to run away from it all, even for a few minutes, she almost began to feel as though she would find peace.
He always knew exactly what to do.
She gathered herself, wiping away the tears and smoothing down her hair as Lando walked back to her door, opening it and offering his hand as help for her to get out of the car. She took it. She always would. The cold air hit her body and she shivered. Lando was immediate in offering her his coat.
She shook her head, “No, I’m okay for right now.” She was just now realizing how she hadn’t gone outside in days. The cold air made her feel alive again.
Lando’s hand continued to clutch hers as they took steps toward the large structure. When she let go of his, he tensed, but he relaxed when he saw her wandering over to the slides.
She climbed up the ladder, him following behind, and found herself sat in the entryway of the whirling slide.
“Wait, wait!” Lando yelped before she could push herself down. Her head whipped around to meet his eyes.
She smiled and her body warmed when his found a seat behind her, his body consuming her and his hands wrapping around the low point of her waist. His ear right beside her ear, he kissed the top of the skin, “Now, you can go. We can go down faster, no? Seeing as I go fast for a living.”
His questionable logic made her laugh before he was pushing them off and the two were turning fast around the corner of the yellow tube. Her giggling ensued with the way he jostled them around on purpose to make the slide more exhilarating for two twenty-four year olds. And in the heat of the moment, seeing her hair float in the air and a carefree smile on her face, Lando wished she could see herself the way he did. She was superb, unbelievable. She held the strength and courage of someone so commendable. She was kind even when she had seen things and experienced trauma so young that should’ve, understandably so, made her bitter. She was merciful even when she shouldn’t be and she loved Lando in a way he had only ever dreamed of. The way she treated him, the gentleness she approached him with, was something he knew he could never let go of. She was beautiful in so many other ways than just her appearance. She was deeply beautiful and he wished she could just understand that.
When they reached the end, their bodies stopping abruptly right at the edge, Y/n laid her head back against his shoulder. He kissed her temple, “Fun?”
She nodded with a smile, “Somehow, you did make it faster.”
He shot her a look, as if to question why she didn’t believe him in the first place. He pushed her off him, sprinting to the swings and screaming for her to follow him.
“Lando! Be quiet! You’ll wake up the entire neighborhood!” She whisper-yelled at him, laughing as she ran after him.
He threw himself in the seat and began swinging his legs, no doubt gaining momentum but beckoning her over for help nonetheless.
She stood behind him, bracing herself firmly on the ground as she pushed his heavy body up off the ground. When he would meet her back on the ground, he’d lean back so his back would almost come crashing into her front. It made her laugh.
“Lando!” He couldn’t see her, but he knew how radiant she must’ve been looking. Even in his head, he continued to fall in love with her.
She kept pushing him until her arms got tired and she flopped away from him, onto the ground, in a heap of heavy breaths. When he didn’t feel her small hands on his back anymore, he jumped off the swing and joined her on the ground.
It didn’t matter how cold it was or how dirty it inevitably was, they were together and Y/n’s smile lingered on her pretty face.
Lando’s hand laced with hers in between their bodies as he softly whispered, “You’re not a shit daughter, your parents don’t know what they have and they’re too emotionally immature to realize that. You’re not a shit friend, Cameron knows that, you’re just struggling and that’s okay. You’re not a shit worker, you’re actually heavily valuable to your boss and the people around you. They’ve all told you that. And Y/n, look at me,” She turned her head to meet his meaningful ones, “You are not a shit girlfriend. You are the complete opposite. You are everything I’ve ever wanted and could ever ask for. You have no idea how in love with you I am. It’s even hard for me to understand sometimes. There is no one I have ever loved, love, or will love more than you. You are the most important thing to me, so please stop talking about yourself in this way and believing in something that has never been true.”
Everything about the moment is gentle. From the way his thumb caressed her skin to the enunciation of every word that came from his mouth, he made it clear how much love prospers for her within him every day and every minute.
She turned on her side and took his cheek in her hand, “Thank you for helping me, Lan.”
His hand squeezed her waist, “Of course, my love. You’re my favorite.”
She felt her heart blush, if that’s even possible. Maybe her face was the one blushing? She didn’t know. The way Lando looked at her as if she started life itself made her mind feel fuzzy.
Fuzzy enough to realize he was right. She wasn’t a failure or a horrible person. She was a human who made mistakes and many people loved her in spite of it. Lando being one of them.
He loved her in a way she had always craved. She both needed and wanted him. So did he. They were the beginning and end of everything for the other. It showed well that night as they held each other on the concrete of that park. It showed well because, at one am on a random Saturday, Lando had dropped everything he has doing the moment he heard the anguish in her voice. It showed well because Lando’s clear words made Y/n realize he wanted her and no one else. There was no one else like her, no one to ever replace her. Not that he would ever want that anyway. She was completely unique in the most precious way and maybe… just maybe… she was beginning to realize that too.
#mclaren#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagines#lando norris fic#lando smut#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris#lando norris x you#lando norris edit#lando norris blurb#lando norris fanfiction
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angel’s fulfillment challenge
welcome to the unofficial official challenge of angel’s vault ☆
i’m going to say this now, this isn’t going to be some crazy, different thing. this is literally how the law works lol but i say challenge because it's for those who see them as fun, want to be disciplined and set the tone for the new year! (or whenever you’re reading this)
𝐈. the point of this challenge is to…
fall in love with imagination
enjoy fulfilling yourself
get your desires duh
stop over consuming and apply no matter if you think you need to know more.
𝐈𝐈. important guidelines!
read this post to get a gist of states because this is what this challenge is about. fulfilling yourself in imagination. you don’t need to read it every time to know you’re doing it right, this challenge will do it all for you.
affirmations and visualizations are techniques so what is your way of thinking that feels comfortable to you? sometimes you don’t even need it. for me, i mostly need to feel that i already have it. have fun, experiment with daydreams/scenes, affirming and/or feeling. it doesn't have to be the same every single time.
𝐈𝐈𝐈. steps
choose what you want. go crazy. do not condition your desires. you are limitless. if you can see it in your mind, you can have it. famous? nepo baby? money? db, df? better self concept? gender revision? time change?
decide right now you are the person who already has what the want. so guess what? there is nothing to get because you already have your desire. manifesting money? you already have it. manifesting an sp? you already have them. manifesting your dream life? you already have it. that is your state.
fulfill yourself every chance you get in the day. no you don’t have to lock yourself in the room to affirm/visualize/feel all day. no you don’t have to be in the state all day, you are always passing through states but remember, the state you constantly make your dwelling place MANIFESTS. so make an effort to return to it as much as you can and want to.
ideas: do it in the morning when you wake up, in the afternoon, whenever you have free time like on your bed, going home, walking, during class and before you go to sleep.
bonus: do this meditation by edward art daily, it's not mandatory. it's not like all the other meditations, give it a shot. get off tumblr, stop over consuming
make it fun, it’s not a chore! have fun daydreaming/visualizing you shopping with all the money you got, getting compliments from people on how they’re so amazed at how successful you are, have fun complimenting yourself in the mirror while you repeat affirmations, have fun looking around and going “yeah, i literally have ____” sounds nice and fun? because it is. manifesting is simple.
4. get your desires. there is no deadline. i hate that shit 😭 srrynotsrry, that would be contradicting the law and this challenge. you already have it, you’re not getting anything on a time crunch. not no 3 days, not a week, not two, not a month. THERE IS NOTHING TO GET WHEN YOU HAVE IT NOW. ONLY NOW.
challenge summary:
YOU ALREADY HAVE IT!
𝐈. why should you fulfill yourself?
because when you fulfill yourself in imagination, you are changing self. and what is a reflection of self? the 3D.
it’s not your job to make things physical. your job is to change your mind.
focus on yourself. there is nothing to change or to get in the 3D because it’s nothing but a mirror that shows/proves you right in what state you identify and dwell in.
“Stop trying to change the world since it is only the mirror. Man’s attempt to change the world by force is as fruitless as breaking a mirror in the hope of changing his face. Leave the mirror and change your face. Leave the world alone and change your conceptions of yourself. The reflection then will be satisfactory.”
“I AM wealthy, poor, healthy, sick, free, confined were first of all impressions or conditions felt before they became visible expressions. Your world is your consciousness objectified. Waste no time trying to change the outside; change the within or the impression; and the without or expression will take care of itself. When the truth of this statement dawns upon you, you will know that you have found the lost word or the key to every door. I AM (your consciousness) is the magical lost word which was made flesh in the likeness of that which you are conscious of being.”
𝐈𝐈. additional tips
doubting? let it pass. don't give it power. why are you doubtful if it's going to come or if the law works when you have what you want right now? if you're dwelling in doubts then you're not being the person who has it.
worried about when it's going to come? that doesn't make sense because you literally have it right now lol
want to ask a question? why? you literally have it. what's there to ask? try asking yourself first.
simple.
have fun, angels. remember that YOU ALREADY HAVE IT. send me your successes in the inbox!
signed, angel ☆
#manifestation challenge#neville goddard#edward art#manifesting#law of assumption#challenge#self concept#wish fulfillment#manifestyourreality#how to manifest#manifestyourdesires
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https://www.tumblr.com/brittle-doughie/762278595950493696/sorry-if-i-already-asked-this-but-what-is-your?source=share
so i was looking back on this post and came up with the silly thought of butter roll cookie or Matcha cookie just kidnapping mycookie, bringing them to the ultimate cookie and being like "this could have been you lol!" i think that's be pretty funny
i even make a lil sketch of the scenario
and a more dramatic version for the sake of it
(this is my first time sending a ask on a tumblr blog so sorry if i come off weird)
Nah, you’re not being weird at all. I like the sketches!
And he is so full of whimsy about it!
“Is that….”
“The culmination of my life’s work, the Ultimate Cookie! After countless tests and experiments, we’ve managed to perfect the recipe to not only create dough suitable for Beast Cookies, but one that will harbor their strength to be the perfect cookie for Dark Enchantress Cookie!”
“The perfect cookie…(just like what White Lily calls me)…”
“If you turned out like this, there’s no doubt that it would’ve been you up there lmao”
“W-what?”
“While you didn’t necessarily turn out how I predicted after that little…accident back at the laboratory, you’ve shown remarkable progress for what was just dough in a mixer. Walking, talking, the works!”
“So you’re telling me I could’ve either been up there or in those vats…”
“No no, you’re too good for that now. What you are now is a shiny benchwork in my work. I should thank those cookies back at your kingdom for raising you to your potential.”
“What potential? I was happy back there just living my life!”
“But you need to realize the goldmine of possibilities you’re standing on right now! If I present you to Dark Enchantress Cookie, she could see just how special you are. She’d want you to be just as strong as that cookie up there! How wonderful would that be?!”
“And if what I don’t want to?! What if I don’t want to be just another pawn to that lunatic?!”
“You aren’t a pawn, you could be a part of something bigger. Your..friends back in that kingdom will see just how important you can really be. I only want what’s best for you…”
Butter Roll Cookie placed a hand on their shoulder with a comforting smile. They looked down at the floor for a moment before looking up with a face of resolve.
“No.”
Butter Roll sighs before letting go of his hand on their shoulder.
“I see. Such potential, gone to waste. But…I’ll never forget what a wonderful cookie you ended up becoming…”
“Thank you-“
“Because I’m gonna kidnap ya again lol”
“HUH-“
Butter Roll laughs as he scooped them up in a sack.
“Haha! I’d be crazy if I let a cookie like you go! Don’t you worry, papa Butter Roll Cookie is taking you home!”
#brittle answers#cookie run x reader#cookie run x you#cookie run#cr x reader#cookie run kingdom#crk x reader#cookie run kingdom x reader#cr kingdom
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hi friends, i won’t be posting or updating any of my works for an indefinite period n will be on hiatus from this blog as well.
i’ve unlisted kickoff & ihm on ao3 (haven’t deleted, they’ve just been made private) and i’ve unpinned my masterlist here on tumblr (again nothing’s been deleted so you could probably find the chapters if you searched my tags)
but the reason i did that is because i don’t want any new readers finding my works during my hiatus because i don’t want to potentially upset more people in the event that, during this hiatus, i decide that i would no longer like to write my fics
that would be an insanely sad decision to make. i put so much thought into my stories not because i am trying to make them entertaining, but it’s because they genuinely mean so much to me and are cathartic in ways i can’t describe. i have spent a great majority of my life self negating for the sake of others, and so writing was just a form of expression where i could talk about all the things i’ve suppressed over the years - anxiety, career stress, financial stress, avoidance, depression, loss, coming of age, navigating love, etc
but lately, and i do think it’s been a build up of just some careless words from a handful of people over the months, i find myself steering towards a practice of writing that is no longer asking the question “how can i put as much of myself in this piece as possible?” but rather “how can i make sure people won’t criticize this…i feel awful that it doesn’t have what they want it to have…other creators are doing xyz, should i be doing that too?…i’m just scared to share this”
not exactly sure when that shift in headspace began, but as of right now, it’s as strong as ever. and i understand that those questions may seem irrational, and i just have to try to not focus on the feeling, n i wish i was someone that could compartmentalize those thoughts better, but here’s the thing — the whole reason i started expressing myself through writing in the first place was because i’ve spent my whole life compartmentalizing. it would feel so ironic & untrue to the lessons i’ve learned in this journey if i just chose to “suck this up” and continue pushing forward until i reach a point of burnout simply because i don’t want to upset anyone
i’m really sorry i couldn’t focus on the positive. especially with all the insane n incredible amount of love n support i’ve received for my works. i’ve said this time n time again but when i started posting kickoff to ao3 back in january of this year, i had NO idea it would be this loved by so many people…i was like ok can’t wait to interact w these four readers for the rest of the year…and then BAM, i find myself fully sobbing after each chapter update because i was so touched by all the sweet n kind words. i don’t want this decision to come off in a way that makes it seems like i don’t love u guys sm or that i’m ungrateful — i’ve always taken pride in respecting my audience. even for a simple hobby, i try to put effort into my works. i proofread, i plan out, i edit in length, all because i am, well, for one, i’m a bit of a perfectionist LOL but also i think there’s a great deal of honor in respecting an audience that gives you their time n attention
but i already am struggling in my life to focus on the positive. medicine has been such an incredibly daunting career to pursue, i’m honestly only doing slightly better now because i’m just filled with relief that i got into med school to begin with lol it’s still surreal to me, so the stress has been kinda manageable so far on that sense of optimism, but dear god the shit i went through to get here…and the shit i know i still face ahead of me. i spend all of my serotonin on trying to stay positive in the face of my responsibilities. so all of this time i’ve spent trying to stay positive for the sake of my stories too has just left me with so much exhaustion — i just don’t see why posting my works should be anything less than fun and endlessly exciting when it’s a hobby that’s supposed to help me thru the actual brunt of life.
anyways, i’m getting a little carried away here. all this to say, i just need to take time away from posting my works so i can see writing as something for myself n not for others again. i don’t want the thoughts swimming in my head to be thoughts of anxiety over people potentially criticizing me n my creative decisions. i want the thoughts in my head to once again be positive, excited, and nurturing towards my stories. i don’t see how i can accomplish that at this point unless i start writing for myself once more, and not for others
i still have a great deal of passion to write, which is why i haven’t formally taken down my works. i anticipate that i may be able to come back in the future to share my writing again. but as of right now, i just want to heal the relationship that i have with this hobby, and i feel like that’s gotta happen in private (lmfao it sounds like im tryna freak my writing)
i’m sorry that i turned off my asks n my replies, i know so many of u care about me n want to support me n i just am beyond thankful. i don’t anticipate this is a forever goodbye, but i do just need some time rn away from all of this.
hope u all have a happy time!! and take care of yourselves :) much love
- ellie
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Another Cowboy Psych mini comic! I love drawing these three so much. I may draw a fantasy AU. I’m in a burnout phase of my art so it may take me a bit to draw some stuff.
Anyways, enjoy the comic!! 💛💛
Here’s the dialogue in case people cannot read my shit print (I’m used to writing in cursive, sorry- Lol.)
Lassie: What are you doing, Spencer?.. *he is looking down from his horse.*
Shawn: *laying on ground on a flat rock. Basking in the sun* Soakin’ up some rays, Lassie. You should try it. All the koalas do it and look at the coats on those little guys.
Gus: *also on his horse* that’s amphibians and reptiles, Shawn.. and you’re not a lizard.
Shawn: I’ve heard it both ways.
Gus: No, no you haven’t.
Shawn: Gus, don’t be the sand in shorts on a hot summer day. It’s not sexy.
Gus: *huffs & sighs* You’re lying on sand right now, Shawn…
Shawn: There’s no need for technicalities, Gus, but if we must do them, I’m technically on a rock, not sand. So, better luck next time, buddy.
Gus: *scoffs* Yeah, a rock made of SANDstone and we are in a desert, Shawn, so-
Lassie: *rolls his eyes* If you two are done, some of us have actual police work to do..
Shawn: is that what that is? I thought this was you taking on an opportunity to show off that sweet & sexy, salt & pepper bush.
Lassie: *scoffs and looks away flustered*
Gus: Gross, Shawn..
I hope everyone liked this. I don’t really draw horses or stuff like that so I’m sorry to all of the horse riders out there. Have mercy on me. 😭😭
Again, I was thinking of making a fantasy Psych AU, maybe even some more House MD/Ethical Omens MD art? I’ll have to seen. My burnout phase sucks rn. I’m very exhausted. TvT
(My image quality is trash btw. Tumblr never lets me put the full quality images on here. 😭)
Again, I hope you lot enjoy the comic!!! 💛💛💛
Cowboy Psych is my beloved. Happy Pride!! ⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
(OMG I FORGOT LASSIE’S GLOVES AND STRAP BELT IN ONE OF THE PANELS, AAAAA. Curse sleepy me for doing art at 4AM. Shhhhh, he just took them off because it got hot- ignore that- you saw nothing. 😭😭😭)
#lassiter psych#psych fandom#psych show#psychusa#psych tv#psych shawn#psych#carlton lassiter and shawn spencer#shassie art#shassie psych#shassie psych fanart#shassie#lassie x shawn spencer#shawn spencer and burton guster#shawn spencer fanart#shawn spencer and carlton lassiter#shawn x lassie#gus is over it#gus and shawn#shawn and gus#carlton lassiter fanart#lassie and shawn#spensiter#carlton lassiter#shawn spencer#burton guster#burton gus guster#carlton lassiter x shawn spencer#sharlton#burton guster fanart
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One day I will write a fic that is not a first kiss fic, but today is not that day! This is mostly dialogue, but I might expand it at some point. Brief mention of Mary Jane (sorry, I don't know what Tumblr censors these days lol) / rated T
“You know, Steve…”
“I do know Steve.” Steve's lips tilt in a proud smile.
Eddie snorts. “You’re a funny guy. Anyone ever tell you that?”
“All the time.”
“Anyway. Like I was saying: You know, Steve…” Eddie looks at Steve, waiting for him to interrupt again, but he doesn’t, so he goes on, saying, “Sometimes I wish you were a girl.” Why hasn’t he ever told Steve this before? High Eddie is so much smarter than sober Eddie. Steve should know this.
“What? Why?”
“So I could kiss you.” Eddie scrunches his nose up. “But now that I’ve said it out loud, that’s dumb, because I don’t want to kiss girls.”
“Okay…”
“Maybe I wish I were a girl so you would kiss me.” Eddie scrubs a hand over his face, shakes his head. “Except, I don’t wanna be a chick. And, like, I’m basically a dude version of Buckley, except cooler—”
“Robin’s cool.”
“—and you don’t want to kiss her.”
“Well…”
“Wait, do you?”
“Not lately.”
“So, you guys…”
“No.”
“Right. Well, I don’t wanna be a girl—”
“Eddie.”
“—but I still wanna kiss you, and I can’t as a guy, well I could, but—”
“Eddie!”
“What?”
“I want to kiss you.” Steve’s lips twitch and he adds, “As a guy.”
Eddie opens his mouth, closes it again. “You do?”
Steve nods, pushing himself up on one elbow, leaning over Eddie. Leaning down, so close, and, oh, he’s going to—
Eddie pushes a hand in Steve’s face. “Wait. Why didn’t you ever kiss me before then?”
The next words Steve says are muffled by Eddie’s hand.
“What?”
“I said,” Steve says, moving his face so Eddie’s hand is cupping his jaw instead, “because I didn’t know you were gay.”
“I didn’t know you were gay.”
“I’m not. But I still want to kiss you.”
“You…” Eddie’s brow furrows. Does that make sense? It has to because Steve wouldn’t say it otherwise. He looks up at Steve, still leaning over him, so pretty and right there and he wants to kiss Eddie and Eddie’s head is still pleasantly fuzzy from the weed they smoked and, wait, why is he just looking at Steve?
“Okay, yeah,” he says, “that works for me,” and slides his hand to hook around the back of Steve’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss. “I’m so happy you’re not a girl,” he murmurs against Steve’s lips.
“I’m pretty happy about it too,” Steve says, and then he kisses Eddie properly and they stop talking for a long while.
#steddie#Steddie fic#Steddie fanfic#gay Eddie munson#(wouldn’t normally tag that but because of the first line I don’t want ppl to get disappointed and thinking it’s bi!eddie 😅)#it’s just high Eddie being silly#pizzaqueenfic#watch me post this and find mistakes later#i should probably wait to post this until a better time but whatever
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what is your destiny?
1-2-3 (left to right)
I DO NOT OWN THESE IMAGES
Hi everyone, welcome to this weeks reading! I was called to do a destiny reading this week! Lmk if it resonates! Also I wanna credit the artist for these pictures that I used! They are Gawki here on tumblr and Instagram I just really loved the style of these unicorns. Anyways enjoy and thanks for stopping by!
Pile 1
"force my eyes into the pictures" (6 of swords; 4 of wands (rx); ace of pentacles; 7 of cups (rx); 8 of pentacles; The Hermit) Hi pile 1! I hope you guys are doing well! For you guys I see that you have a hard time either accepting your destiny or you don’t believe that destiny is at play. In terms of you believing that you make everything happen in your life. However I see that you’ve been trying to start new journeys for yourself and they haven’t exactly been panning out or been as lucrative as you thought they would be. That’s because your destiny in this lifetime is to learn flow and let things come to you. For example maybe you really wanted a promotion and you worked extra hard all of the time for it but someone else got the promotion you wanted without even trying because they were in a state of receiving. I’m not sure if this is making sense because the universe doesn’t not want you to work hard, it’s more like take a break and see what comes to you during that break. If you are constantly manifesting then there is no room to reap the benefits of your manifestations. I hope that makes sense, however in this reading I do feel underlying notes of you feeling like you're destined to be married to your work and be alone romantically, maybe even in terms of friends. This is another example of you not having space for other people because you put your work so far ahead of everything else including yourself. Are you a Capricorn? LOL. But I feel like you’ve lived many lives like this so in this life it’s time to put less value on monetary possessions and material things. Nurture your emotional self and you will be paid back more than you could ever imagine. Stop fighting against the grain and go with it. Work with the universe and yourself, not just the societal norms that you think you should be doing. I see you have a beautiful big house but it’s empty and you don't feel fulfilled because you don’t have anyone to enjoy it with you know? I believe in you though Pile 1! You can totally do it! Signs: youthful; cars; f1; soft grass; ponies; daisies; cameras; photography; 777; calabasas; office building; new york flat; city lights; bustling streets
Pile 2
"is it wrong of me to want this?" (queen of pentacles; ace of pentacles; 2 of swords; 10 of wands (rx); two of cups; 9 of wands (rx)) Hello pile 2!! Your energy is so fun and fresh. I’ve been cheesing the whole time I was channeling. Anyways about your destiny, did you just meet a romantic prospect recently? Or maybe you have a new coworker or friend in your circle?? I know you can feel the tension between the two of you. This is a heavily destined connection for you in this life, I feel like you and this have felt each other's energy for a long time but now you are in physical proximity to each other and you can just cut the tension with a knife. Now I don’t want you to feel any type of pressure to feel you have to be with this person in case you or them aren’t ready for anything but you guys are meant to cross paths now for a reason. There’s not much I can say on the way the relationship will play out and be in the future for you but I can say that this person will teach you how to let down your walls and trust again. Maybe you’ve been alone for a long time, or had a really bad break up that changed how you function sexually, or emotionally. This person is here to show you a softness that you’ve forgotten. I also feel like this person wants to worship the ground you walk on because they just can sense the divine energy you carry. I also feel the need to tell you that you do deserve a person who worships all that you do because you have done so much work in this life, whether for yourself or for others. You deserve to be the center of someone else’s universe just like how you make other people the center of yours. Also I do feel like this person watches you on social media and just adores everything that you do. I’m not getting creepy energy and this definitely feels reciprocal for both of you. This person wants to give you the world on a silver platter. They also want you to be able to feel safe enough to be vulnerable and they will go at your pace and match you where you are. They feel that you’ve been hurt before and just want to kiss it better. But also they wanna do so many 18+ things with you. Like genuinely they find you to be irresistible, but I feel like they just love everything you do pile 2! Signs: red energy; sexual tension; love; musical theater; red lipstick; opera; singers?; dark rooms; red wine; femme fatale; high heels; soft touches; stolen glances
Pile 3
"ooh i care i care i care" (2 of swords (rx); king of cups (rx); 7 of wands; 8 of wands; ace of swords (rx); Death (rx)) Hi Pile 3! So this one’s a bit of a harder message so please take a moment before you read and check on yourself if you are ready to receive this message. No hard feelings if you can’t! Always put your mental health first. Now I’ll hop into the message at hand. I see for you guys your destiny is to accept the changes in your life. However I see that for most of the changes in your life you have refused to accept them and then blamed the universe for hating you. You actively choose not to change and wonder why there is no growth in your life. I feel like you are tired of how monotonous your life is but you choose to not add any color to it. I can feel your want to go and change things but you are frozen in fear of change for whatever reason. Change overall is a very scary prospect, especially if you are most comfortable in patterns and are very direct in the way that you function. However I feel you guys being frustrated and feeling like everyone else is getting things that you wanted or that they are ahead of you in life, but instead of making an active change in your life you sit and throw yourself a pity party. Then instead of taking the blame and accepting the fact that you aren’t trying to reach your goals you blame the universe, and it’s just a very vicious cycle. I think there’s a small part of you that acknowledges it but not enough to work on the shadow. I think all in all your destiny is to face the change, want the change, and make the change. I feel you want to do all these things, it’s in your soul. Facing a rebirth of the self is always challenging and scary. If you feel like the change will make you lose yourself, maybe that’s exactly what you need? I also want to stress that if you’re not ready for something then it won’t happen, but if the universe decides you are it will be much harder of a rebirth than if you chose it for yourself. I feel that you have lots to think about in terms of how to rebirth yourself. I also feel like you overextend too much for people who don’t care about you in the same way. For this pile I feel like the destined path is to choose to grow out of a place you have been in too long. Such as a friend group, small town, relationship, or family. I believe in you pile 3, change is scary but you have so much time to truly bloom, let yourself have that. Signs: purple; snakes; ribbons; coquette fashion; ocean breeze; violin; pink; smiles; meadows; bunnies; ethereal vibes; angels; church; small town; trailers; dirt roads
#spotify#pick a card reading#reading tarot#channeled message#channeled song#channeling#divination#law of attraction#pac#pap#pick a photo#pick a card#pick a pile#spirituality#spiritual#spiritual awakening#pick a picture#tarot card reading#tarot reading#tarot#tarot cards
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How do you practice manifesting?
i strongly take into account my human design chart, so i use it more to inform how i manifest. for me it’s ingrained into my lifestyle. what i do currently:
mood boarding and visual inspiration. in human design my strongest sense is “outer vision” which makes visuals THE most important way for me to manifest. i am constantly collecting pictures on tumblr, pinterest, and instagram so i’m doing this all the time.
using the correct manifesting type. i’m a non-specific manifester so i focus on the vibes and feelings i want. i don’t place limits and i remain very open to possibilities. i usually do this when i am writing my morning pages and also sometimes at night before i go to bed so i fall asleep on those feelings.
morning pages. i write morning pages every day which helps clear out all the junk on my mind. the solution to any problem i have usually just occurs to me while i write and it comes on the paper. i always know what i should do which makes it easier to get what i want (less doubt or confusion). it did take a long time for me to trust myself though.
trusting my gut. i’m a generator in human design so i listen to my instinctual yes/no reaction. i don’t need to go out chasing and initiating. the options are always presented to me and IF I’M PAYING ATTENTION and TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY and DON’T OVERTHINK IT WITH LOGIC i can tell what is a yes or no pretty much straight away. feeling frustrated is a sign i’m on the wrong path so i also take that feeling really seriously. again, took me a long time to get here but now it is easy for most things. the more i get on a path where there’s a lot of yes’s means i’m successfully manifesting and going in the right direction.
putting the rest under the cut bc it’s getting long lol.
growth mindset. if an opportunity falls through i trust that it was supposed to happen that way. something better is meant for me. i take what i learned from the experience and trust i was meant to go through it to be better prepared for achieving my goals. i’m so much more calm this way which also allows me to see opportunities better, bc I’m not reacting to everything from a place of fear, stress, and scarcity.
understand manifesting = opportunities to act upon. i think people forget this. it doesn’t land in your lap, manifesting just brings options to me. i still have to take some level of action which is the hard part!! if you don’t have self worth or self trust you won’t be able to do this well or consistently. you have to actively say yes and do whatever action it requires to follow through. it can be tiny, like sending a message or buying something. but correct manifesting (as a generator) will bring options to me. it’s up to me if i accept or not.
orient my life around my profile and gifts. i’m a 2/4 profile and my gift is gift 3 (highly related to storytelling and living by example). the more i lean into what these mean (connection to community, deep connections, pursuit of knowledge, nurturing others through my writing and storytelling etc) the more smoothly my life seems to go.
i’m chill about it. bc my type is non-specific it’s crucial to be chill. no timelines. no desperation or anxiousness. no trying to decide how it should look or unfold, that’s not my place. the universe has it under control and i don’t need to waste my energy on this. when i forget and try to control too much is when life goes to shit. a hard lesson to learn when we are told to plan every detail and obsess and that being stressed means you’re working hard as a good thing… basically had to unlearn that whole mindset and start over.
sorry it’s a long answer but overall rather than manifesting being some separate activity or just one thing i do, i slowly shifted my entire lifestyle so that it’s a natural part of how i live on a daily basis 🤍
#manifesting#manifestation#it girl energy#becoming that girl#it girl#lucky girl syndrome#self improvement#level up#personal excellence#self development#glow up#self care#human design
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Rhaenyra Targaryen, Is she a Monster Hiding in Plain Sight?
So, I just posted a thread on the ex bird App breaking down why I think Rhaenyra is quite possibly a monster hiding in plain sight, and how it’s been on the screen since season one. The set-up is all there and people are just sleeping on it like they did with Dany, and when Rhaenyra truly does and in-your-face dark deed that can’t be ignored, they will say, “ but there was no set-up.”
I’m just going to post the paragraphs of the thread here and so apologies for any typos as I’m not interested in going back to correct…LOL. And of course, because of Tumblr rules, I must label it anti-Targaryen to protect sensibilities, when it’s not. It’s just an analysis of what’s on the screen. In case you’re interested, here is what I posted.
Great scene between Rhaenyra and Daemon on Sunday’s episode of #HOTD. Well acted by Emma & Matt, and extremely well written, which convinced me that the episode was mis-titled. Instead of Rhaenyra the Cruel, it should have been Rhaenyra, the Monster Hiding in Plain Sight.
Yes. You read that correctly. Rhaenyra will turn out to be the monster hiding in plain sight & the proof has been in the dialogue & on screen since season 1. Before she does something truly dark, and people start saying it came out of left field, let me show you the video tape.
But let me set it up for you. What do I mean she’s a monster hiding in plain sight? Well, during her argument with Daemon, for the second time, she told him that she believes he’s capable of monstrous acts, including the killing of a baby.
She says this when this is exactly the reason she married Daemon. She married him to protect her path to the throne and for him to commit the monstrous acts when necessary on her behalf—like murdering her husband, the “father” of her children, and the brother of Daemon’s wife.
…is off mourning the loss of his sister & not there in the moment to put up the front, & this is the last straw for Rhaenyra. For her, Laenor is now useless, but hey, Daemon is back & he’s known for committing dark deeds & so how difficult can it be to get him to kill her hubby.
She monstrously asks Daemon to do this on the day he returns home to bury his wife—right after Laena’s funeral no less. She wants him to kill Laenor, who has been there for her all these years, & who gave her children a happy childhood, as we see from Jace’s memories of him.
Laenor is off mourning the loss of his sister & not there when she needs him to put up a front, & this is the last straw for Rhaenyra. He is now useless, but hey, Daemon is back & he’s known for committing dark deeds & so how difficult can it be to get him to kill her hubby.
And before you say Rhaenyra would never have killed Laenor, let me show you the evidence on screen…starting with this conversation where she says for the first time that she believes Daemon is capable of monstrous acts. Right before she works her magic and seduces him.
Let’s now look at the on screen evidence in order to support my thesis. First time she tells him that she believes he can commit monstrous and depraved acts…starts at 1:35. Listen to the dialogue. youtu.be/Cs1CJTPMPn8?si
She soon proves Daemon’s earlier point that each person is capable of depravity when she asks him to marry her. He says, the only way it can happen is if Laenor is dead, and she responds, “I KNOW,” indicating that she had already considered the idea and was ok with it.
Watch this next clip and how Matt plays the scene holding his hand to his chest. Daemon recognizes her request as a depraved act proving his earlier point, but she doesn’t even see it. youtu.be/4gTGi3VE4pU?si
That clip really should be labeled, “Rhaenyra ask Daemon to kill Laenor” rather than to marry her. Let’s now look at the final clip that covers the actual events surrounding the “murder” of Laenor.
Pay particular attention to Daemon and Rhaenyra’s voice overs. First let me say that only tyrants or soon to be tyrants say I’m not or won’t be a tyrant. If you’re not a tyrant or don’t have those tendencies, there is no need for that declarative statement.
They don’t show the actual scene of Daemon and Rhaenyra planning Laenor’s death, but they give us the voice overs. And while we don’t get the full conversation, we do get enough of it that in juxtaposition with the scenes of Laenor, allows us to fill in the obvious blanks.
Note Rhaenyra saying “I do love Laenor,” and the intonation in her voice as if she’s being convinced of something. We know as shown in the previous clip that she was quite fine with killing Laenor. In fact, it was her plan.
And so, that can’t be what Daemon is trying to convince her of when he says, “then grant him this kindness. Set him free.” The scenes on the screen of Laenor and Qarl fighting would seem to suggest that Daemon was referring to the freedom of death.
However, Rhaenyra’s words about love and the ending scene of Laenor and Qarl escaping shows it wasn’t death that Daemon was talking about. He was trying to convince Rhaenyra to let Laenor go free. Here is the clip. youtu.be/UevRWZAxBiA?si
If Rhaenyra’s plan was always to let Laenor escape to Essos, there would be no reason for Daemon to ask her to grant him the kindness of freedom. The lightness inside of Daemon was ascendant on the day Rhaenyra asked him to kill Laenor.
Of course, the darkness quickly rebalanced the scale as he turned around and killed an innocent man to play the role of Laenor’s dead body. Why did Daemon grant Laenor the kindness of his life and freedom. With Daemon, you never know.
Maybe it was because Laenor was his wife’s twin and his daughters’ uncle. Maybe he didn’t want Rhaenyra to be the depraved monster he mentioned in his words to her. All signs point to Rhaenyra being a tyrant.
While she’s currently hiding it, Tyrants always show their true colors, and it will happen here too. And people will say, but it came out of left field. There were no clues that Rhaenyra had this darkness in her, when it’s always been there on the screen from the beginning.
So yeah, Rhaenyra is not the good guy thinking about the good of the realm. Unlike Jaime who betrayed his vows to protect the realm, Rhaenyra betrayed Laenor for the simple quest of power. She wants the throne & Alicent sits in Kings Landing with her sons keeping her from it.
Daemon does not hide who he is. Rhaenyra on the other hand knowingly does, and that’s the worse type of person you would want to rule.
Her comment to Daemon that she believes he can commit monstrous acts was the show saying…”hey remember when she said that the first time and what she was planning”. Remember things are not always as it seems, and so, don’t be surprised.
#rhaenyra targaryen#daemon targaryen#anti rhaenyra targaryen#anti targaryen#hotd#hotd season 2#house of the dragon
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All of You
Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (eventual wife reader)
Word Count: 2900+
Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!
Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.
Notes: I’m not sure who originally said it, but the wonderful @morallyinept shared this and I had to write it for her! A Boxing Day gift? Is that a thing (said in American)? Shoutout to @rhoorl for the nickname! This is not beta’d because I’m tired lol
Yeah... I'm not okay. I read a reblog comment which made me chuckle saying this is older, retired Peña who's being slowly overfed by his wife
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**Reader is not described
Main Masterlist
Javier Peña Masterlist
“I’ll be right with you!” I yell over my shoulder as the entry bell dings, boots casually walking across the hard floors of my little corner store bakery.
I slide the baking pan in my old oven, an antique to most but she works better than most of these modern ones. I set my timer and place it on the counter next to the oven, wiping my hands on my apron as I spin around to address the customer and am momentarily rendered speechless. A man casually peruses my glass display case, all dark hair and dark eyes, a slim frame but the broadest shoulders I’ve seen. His nose is prominent, a mustache that sort of reminds me of Burt Reynolds is neatly trimmed, and he leans down to look closer at something in the case.
Sexy would not begin to describe this man.
“Are those coyotas?”
I blink, his voice runs through my brain and makes my body shiver, goosebumps erupting across my arms.
“Y-yeah. Yes. Coyotas.”
He looks up at me, his eyes wide and round just like a damn puppy and I could get lost in those eyes.
“Could I have a few?”
“Absolutely. Anything else?”
He finally looks at me, pulling his eyes away from whatever memory the coyotas held and blinks, his eyes scanning down my body, the tingles from before starting back up.
“S-sir?”
“Huh? Oh. Uh yeah. I’m picking up an order for Chucho? Peña?”
I chuckle. “Chucho. My favorite customer! I have his order right here.” I move to grab a small bag with various pastries inside, making him a to-go cup of cafe con leche to accompany it.
“Would you like a cup?”
“What? Oh I don’t want to put you out.”
“You’re not. How do you like it?”
“Plain?”
I pour him a black cup of coffee, sliding the lid over it before turning to hand it to him, his fingers brushing against mine as he takes it and I feel my cheeks heat up at the spark that passes between us.
“Chucho normally comes to say hi.”
“Yeah he’s dealing with farm shit right now. Asked me to come.”
I nod. “And you are?”
“Oh shit! Sorry! I’m Javier. Chucho’s son.” He extends a hand as I say my name but does it too quickly, coffee spilling out of the cup that he had squeezed a little harder than he should have. “Fuck I’m so sorry. Let me help-”
I wave my hand. “I got it. Are you ok? Some of that got on you. Hold still.” I take a clean cloth from my apron pocket and run some water on it, turning back to Javier. I gently take his hand, placing it in mine, trying to ignore the heat that immediately sprung up between my thighs. I dab at his hand, hearing his breath come in short bursts.
“Am I hurting you?”
“N-no. Not..hurting.”
He looks into my eyes, his pinched together and round and we just stare at each other for several moments, getting lost in the other. Then the bell rings and the spell is broken, Javier jerking his hand back as a woman walks in and I wave to her, letting her know I’d be right over. I grab Chucho’s order and coffee, carefully handing the latter to Javier.
“Wait. I haven’t paid.”
I wave him off. “Don’t worry about it. I got it.”
“No. You deserve payment.”
“Javier, really. It’s ok.” My body braver than I am, I place my hand on his forearm, giving it a little squeeze, offering him a smile. Javier shifts from foot to foot before looking at me and nodding.
“If you insist.” He hesitates, opening his mouth to say something else but then the door bell jingles again and he closes his mouth, holding up the bag slightly in thanks.
Javier comes to get his dad’s order every day for the next few months. I’m fairly certain Chucho will have gained some major weight by now, with all the cookies and pastries Javier brings him. But I am not complaining - any chance to see this man, hear him talk. He doesn’t tell me much about the last few years, but I imagine he can’t, not really. His job has so much confidentiality involved but it’s deeper than that. I can see it in his eyes, the hardness, sadness, regret for things he must have had to do to take down an evil man.
So he asks me about me, where I’m from, how did I get so good at baking, all of it. I tell him how my “abuela” taught me the from moment I could talk, teaching me all the traditions that accompany each pastry. Even though we weren’t blood related, she had been really close with my mom, who reminded her of a daughter she’d lost. Javier listens with rapt attention, asking me questions to learn more as he sips his coffee.
But one day he doesn’t come in at his normal time in the morning. Instead, Chucho walks in, smiling and giving me a quick hug before making his usual order.
“No Javier today?” I ask, trying to be nonchalant. Which I guess I’m not because he smirks.
“Actually, I had business in town today. Javi is mending some things in the barn for me.”
The image of a sweaty Javier fills my mind and I shake my head a little. Focus.
“Oh. Sounds like hard work.”
There’s that smirk again. “It is. Hey, could you do me a favor? I owed him dinner and I won’t be home in time for that. Poker night at Robert’s house. If I call Rita’s, could you bring it to him?”
“I..me?”
“You close early enough?”
I’d close right now if it meant seeing sweaty Javier pounding nails.
“Y-yeah. I can do that for you.”
He smiles, handing me money for his coffee. “I’ll call Rita’s. Could you get it around 4?”
I pick up his food at Rita’s, ready and waiting for me at 4pm, and follow the directions Chucho had given me out to the Peña farm. I’d be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t nervous, getting to see Javier outside of the walls of my little bakery was something I’d only dreamed of. I figured if he were interested, he would’ve asked me out or something by now. Right?
Taking one last glance in the mirror to adjust my hair, I step out of my car, walking around to open the passenger door and grab the food, his drink secured in my other hand. I hesitate at the front door, mostly because I’m trying not to chicken out but also because my hands are full and my brain is not operating fully. I eventually decide to set his drink down on the arm of the porch chair and knock, waiting several moments. Only, no one comes and the house is quiet. I knock again, wait again, and still nothing. But then I hear a faint clink! Clink! Coming from around back where the barn is and I assume Javier is in there.
Grabbing up the drink, I take a deep breath and head towards the barn, where I hear some more banging and a couple of swear words. Nervously, I raise my hand to the wood door and knock, despite the door already being open. The pounding stops immediately and then he walks into my vision, Javier, sweaty, no shirt, jeans with some wear on them, and a tool belt slung low on his hips. He’s wiping his hands on a handkerchief as he walks towards me, head cocked to the side but his eyes wide and…nervous?
“Pastelito?”
I smile, clumsily holding up the food and drink. “Chucho said he was going to Robert’s and wouldn’t be home to get you the dinner he owed you.” Don’t look at his chest, don’t look at his chest. Don’t. Look.
His eyebrows pinch together in confusion. “Owed me? He doesn’t owe me anything.”
“O-oh. I..he just asked me and I said I’d help. But you look busy, I can take this back if you don’t-”
“No!” He steps closer to me, reaching for the food. “I mean, no. I’ll…thank you, pastelito.”
I hold out the food and drink, Javier only a couple of steps away. I finally manage to look at him and find him already looking at me, his eyes dark and bright, looking for something in mine. He takes the food, his fingers brushing against mine, only this time he doesn’t move away. His large hands pause over mine for several moments before his fingers start to trace little lines up my forearm, goosebumps pimpling my skin, my heart racing. No longer in control of my brain, my eyes scan down his shirtless chest and back up, heat flaring between my thighs. He grips my forearms, pulling me to him and I drop the food, my hands immediately coming up to touch his chest as he lifts my chin, his lips pressing against mine. Fuck, his lips are soft and he’s so warm, sweaty from his work and all I can think is how I want him to press me into this bale of hay and take me, let me take his worries away.
One hand slides down my back, the other cradling the back of my head as his tongue pushes gently forward, my lips parting, tongue coming out to meet his. He presses his body against mine, the sweat from his chest getting me wet all over. He walks me backwards until I bump against a beam. He starts to kiss a path down my neck and I gasp, whining a little when he sucks on some spot below my ear. His hands are wandering, sliding across my body, hoisting one of my thighs up on his hip, his stomach pressing in between my thighs and I moan at the feel of it. As he reaches my boobs he stops, pulling his head up so fast I’m dizzy with the motion of it.
“Javier?”
His eyes are nearly black, his chest heaving, and he shifts slightly where he stands. “I…I can’t.”
Ouch. “Oh. I..you can. If you need permission, you definitely have it.”
“No, it’s just-” He sighs, gently setting my leg back on the floor and stepping away from me and I feel cold despite the heat of the evening, and embarrassed.
“I’ll see you around then,” I have to get out of here before the tears come. But his hand gently closes around my arm, tugging on it lightly until I turn, swallowing hard.
“Paselito, it’s not you. Please, come sit? And I’ll explain?”
I nod, shaking my head to rid myself of the tears. At least for the moment. He sits on a bale of hay and pats the space next to him. I sit, wrapping my arms around myself for some sort of comfort. He looks at me, taking my hand in his and holy shit why are his hands so large?
“Pastelito…I..I normally rush right into the physical. Hell, that’s all I really had for the last 6 years.” He sighs. “But I don’t want to do that with you. I don’t want to rush it. I definitely want to, but I want to date you. Fuck, I sound stupid don’t I?”
“Not at all, Javier. I…I’ll assume this isn’t a line,” Javier chuckles at that. “But I would absolutely love to date you.”
We fuck at the end of the first date and through the remainder of that weekend.
10 years later…
Javier sets his utensils down, chewing the last bit of his dinner before taking a sip from his glass. “You need to stop cooking so well, mi esposa [my wife], or I may not be able to fit through the door.” He rubs at his stomach, softer and slightly more fluffy after a few years of early retirement.
“Never. I love cooking for my husband. He’s definitely earned it.”
“Yes but soon you may not want me.” He pats his stomach and smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, insecurity brimming behind it.
I set down my fork, pushing my chair back to stand up and walk over to him. His eyes follow my movements and I gesture for him to push his chair back from the table, which he does. I stand between his legs, looking down at him. I place my hand over his, where it rests on his stomach.
“You think I’d find you unattractive because of this?” He shrugs, a non committal answer.
“Maybe. I am not in the shape I was when we met.”
“Neither am I, Javi.”
“Yes, but you’re gorgeous.”
“So are you.”
He blows air from his lips, looking away from me. Much to his surprise, I decide to straddle him, his arms quickly hooking behind my knees to help hold me. I lean forward, kissing him hard and he kisses me back, his nails digging into my skin. I’m grateful I wore a dress today, especially because there’s less layers between us. I start to move my hips, slowly at first but the heat quickly builds as I grind along his belly, breaking the kiss to gasp. He watches me, eyes wide and dark as I rub myself on this area that causes so much insecurity.
“Fuck, Javier, you’re so fucking..ngh!” My hands grip his shoulders, digging into his skin.
“Yes, pastelito, use me. Fuck me how you want. Show me how you feel.” His chest heaves, helping to hold me in place still, but his hands are twitching, wanting to touch me. I speed up, grinding harder and then suddenly I come, his name spilling from my lips as I leave a wet mark on his shirt. Finally, I look down at him smiling, seeing his eyes like a damn puppy.
“I fucking love your body, Javi. All of it. I could fuck myself on all of YOU!” I scream out the last word as Javier suddenly stands, pushing me up and laying me on the table, somehow pushing dishes out of the way as he did, some of them clattering to the floor, to be picked up later.
His hands scramble up under my dress, yanking down my soaked panties and pulling them off, groaning when he felt how wet they were. His belt buckle clanks as he undoes it and drops his pants to the floor. He lines up, but I lean up on my arm.
“Wait.” I reach forward with my other hand and undo some of his buttons, Javi finishing the rest before yanking it off himself. I run my nails down his chest and over his belly, the damp skin there heating me up.
I meet his eyes. “You’re so fucking, hot Javi. I will never stop thinking that.”
He pushes me back down and into me at the same time and I yell his name as he splits me open, his fingers digging into my hips and pulling me towards him as he thrusts, an extra hard jut of his hips when he’s already inside, knowing how that makes me writhe and moan, my entire body like a livewire. He grunts with every thrust of his hips, baring his teeth sometimes with the force of it and all I can do is hold on, my fingers digging into his arms as I moan and yell his name.
“Yes! Fuck me, Javi!”
His hand moves between my thighs, touching me and my legs twitch. He smirks down at me as I chant his name. “Scream my name, pastelito. Make the neighbors know who I am.”
“Ye-YES! JAVI!” I come hard, yelling his name as he asks, stars in my vision and the sound of wind rushing in my ears, but not loud enough that I don’t hear him, grunting and panting out my name as he spills into me. His forehead touches mine, his nose nuzzling into me for several moments before he sits back up with a different groan, rubbing at his back for a moment before pulling out.
“Well my back definitely tells me I’m getting older.”
I chuckle, my breathing finally leveling out as Javi extends his hand to me, helping me sit up. He holds it, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand before placing it on his cheek, looking at me.
“So, you said you could fuck yourself on all of me?” His eyebrows are raised questioningly.
I nod. “Oh yes.”
His eyes darken. “Then show me.”
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Jump Then Fall (The 4 times everyone else thinks you’re Quinn’s romantic partner and the 1 time you actually are)
(Gif credit to @gabelandeskog)
Word count: 5,045
Genres: strangers to friends to lovers
Warnings: none
A/N: I’ve had this specific idea in my mind for about 2 years but never wrote it out because I decided to write other things first and took certain things from this concept and kinda put it into my other stories but after Quinn was named captain in September 2023, I decided to write it out. (Speaking of my other stories, I did write a Quinn fic in 2022, which you should check out). The title and this story is based off of the song, Jump Then Fall by Taylor Swift. It’s set from this past week (October 7th-14th), with additional fictional elements added. (Yes, I decided to publish it on Quinn's birthday because why not?) It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a female of color but the reader doesn’t specifically have to be a POC or a woman and there’s little dialogue. As always, I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. Thank you so much in advance for reading, I appreciate it😌
(P.S. I have other stories (linked here) that I have written for other players as well if you want to check it out)
“I was enchanted to meet you” -Enchanted by Taylor Swift
Prologue
Losing in a fantasy sports league can come with many different types of punishment, whether it’s being forced to eat a pancake for every wrong player you picked or putting in extra money in the winning jackpot. Your punishment for losing in the fantasy sports league you participated in was wearing a very 2014 Tumblr-esque “lol ur not Quinn Hughes” shirt that your best friend got you as a gag gift for Christmas to a Canucks game. This punishment came at a convenient time when you already planned to be in Vancouver for a work conference. Accepting your fate, you proudly donned the cringey t-shirt at the game, and as expected, people did look at you weirdly. What you didn’t plan at all was that your game seats happened to be located next to where a group of some of the Canucks WAGs were sitting. Lenasia, Ethan Bear’s fiance, noticed your shirt and immediately began talking to you. You explained to her why you were wearing such a thing and that clicked an idea in her brain. Lenasia turned away, began talking again to the other WAGs she was with, and was also frantically texting someone. After a brief period, Lenasia faced back towards you and told you to wait after the game because she had a surprise for you. You had a slight inkling of what that surprise was but silently hoped that it didn’t actually come true.
After the game was completed, Lenasia led you through the tunnels of Rogers Arena and told security that you were with her. It felt weird to hear her say that, considering that you just met her a few hours ago. You stood together outside of the Canucks locker room and the feeling of embarrassment continued to rise within you as the guys filed out, some of them laughed at your shirt and then, you saw him. Quinn was right there, less than 10 feet away from you. Your suspicions were right; you would have just settled for a signed item from him and have no interaction with him but you were actually going to meet him right now. You felt like you were going to pass out but tried your best to maintain your composure. Lenasia introduced you to Quinn and told him the same story of why you were wearing a shirt with his name on it. Quinn didn’t fully quite understand why the shirt was such a big deal but agreed to take the photo with you. He was nice enough to wrap his arm around you with a side hug and being that close together oddly felt natural and comfortable for two people who had just met for the first time. After the photo was finished being taken, Quinn kindly offered to sign your shirt so he inked his signature on your right shoulder. You thanked Quinn and Lenasia again for everything and left to return to your hotel. It was a lot to process but you were rightfully shocked that you started your night fulfilling some silly punishment and ended it by meeting the person whose name is on your shirt.
The following day, you sent the photo of you and Quinn from the night before to your friends and your friends joked in the groupchat that if you played your cards right, you might be next in line to date him. Yes, you posted about it on Instagram and tagged Quinn so everyone knew you actually met him. Since the day after you met was an off day, Quinn had some time to scroll through Instagram and he saw your post. Seeing your post led him to see all of your posts and eventually, he ended up in your DMs.
Do you always look that cute wearing someone’s name?, an Instagram message from a very familiar verified account read. You couldn’t believe it and thought you were somehow dreaming when you read Quinn’s message but it was very much real. You replied back: I guess I always do but I only wear the names of attractive guys and considering this is my only piece that has an athlete’s name, I guess you should consider yourself lucky ;) It felt odd to shamelessly flirt with a famous athlete (considering that most of them wouldn’t give you the time of day anyway) but it wasn’t like you were actually going to date him or be his friend anyway (or so you had thought).
The flirty interaction eventually led to the exchange of numbers and to a long message chain between the two of you that would extend on for months. You did return home from your trip to Vancouver and maintained a long-distance friendship with Quinn. Your friendship with Quinn was great; you trusted each other, shared some secrets, did virtual movie nights together sometimes, sent memes back and forth, told some of your closest friends and family about the other, and communicated on the phone constantly. Once of your favorite things to do with Quinn was that he would always call you during your morning commute to work and on his commute home after his games to decompress after the game. Since you didn’t live in an area where there was an NHL team, your options for seeing Quinn again in person were limited and you weren’t sure if you were going to ever see him again. It felt weird to ask about seeing each other in real life so everything was just kept online until one day, the timing was right to move things offline.
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About a year into your friendship, the right opportunity opened up for you to return to Vancouver to see Quinn again. To the delight of many, Quinn was named Captain of the Canucks and he invited you out to his first game as Captain. You were important enough to him that Quinn wanted you to be there to celebrate that amazing accomplishment; you were surprised by the invitation but excited at the prospect of seeing him again. You used some of your remaining vacation time and paid for your plane ticket to and from Vancouver; Quinn wanted to pay for something so he placed you to stay in the nicest hotel that Vancouver has to offer. You were thrilled to spend a week in Vancouver and hopefully make some fun memories with Quinn while you were there.
Your anticipation for seeing him was slightly halted when Quinn revealed that he couldn’t pick you up from the airport because your flight arrived at the same time that he had captain responsibilities to fulfill in the community so you and Quinn agreed to meet to have dinner later on that evening. Emma, Anthony Beauvillier’s girlfriend, picked you up from the airport to take you to the hotel; you had never met or interacted with Emma before but you appreciated her kind favor. The drive from Vancouver International Airport to the hotel (which Quinn did not tell you beforehand because he wanted it to be a surprise) was normally a 30-minute drive, which turned into an hour drive due to traffic. While you and Emma waited in the rush hour traffic, you talked and learned more about her, her relationship with Anthony, what things are like in Quebec, and what it’s like to be a hockey WAG. Emma had a lot of questions about your relationship with Quinn and was curious as to why you, his romantic partner, weren’t around as much before. You corrected Emma by telling her that you and Quinn were just friends and nothing more and you came to support him as your friend.
“Are you sure you and Quinn are just friends because he must really like you a lot to pay for you to stay here?”, Emma asked as you pulled up to the Fairmount Waterfront hotel.
You replied yes, you were just his friend and she handed you over your room keys that were passed to her through the chain of command. You thanked Emma for giving you a ride and you both mentioned wanting to hang out with each other again.
Quinn was not kidding when he told you that you would be staying at the best hotel in Vancouver; your room had spectacular views of the Vancouver Harbor and was very fancy. As you got ready for your dinner with Quinn, you began to reflect on your conversation with Emma about him. You could admit that he was endearingly handsome and had qualities that you were looking for in a boyfriend but you and Quinn never really discussed romantic pursuits and outside of that initial flirty exchange when you first started talking to each other and the occasional compliment, there wasn’t much flirting really going on between you. You had always assumed that Quinn had someone, whether it was someone in Vancouver or in Michigan, waiting in the wings for him. Your thoughts were interrupted when you got a text from Quinn that he was coming up to the room. It was happening; for the first time in over a year, you got to see your internet best friend in person and you were ecstatic. Although he had a copy of the hotel room key, Quinn knocked on your hotel room door and a smile beamed across both of your faces as you recognized who was standing at the doorway. Quinn engulfed you in a long-awaited hug and you rocked back and forth. There were many areas in his life that made him feel delighted but hearing you laugh was one of the best sounds to him and holding you in his arms was the greatest feeling.
After separating, you realized that Quinn was dressed for a night in while you were dressed for a night out. The weather app indicated that a storm was rolling in so Quinn dressed to stay in at the hotel, order food, and have a movie night, while you were willing to brave the rain to try some of Vancouver’s cuisine. Quinn thought that you looked nice and wished that he communicated to you that Vancouver storms were no joke and you looking cute in your rain jacket wasn’t going to push him to go out in such weather either. He also really wanted to spend time with you without the distractions that come from him going out in public. You agreed to order in and changed into more comfy clothes while you waited for the food to arrive. Preseason hockey was over so Quinn decided to treat himself (and you) to some authentic Chinese food from his favorite place. As you and Quinn indulged on the delicious Chinese food, you began catching up with each other on what had occurred in your lives recently. As Quinn shared what had been going on his life lately, you heard all of the words he was saying but the only thing you were thinking about was how you just wanted to be together and you would lose focus sometimes as he spoke. You and Quinn kept talking so much on so many different topics that it was almost midnight before you decided to watch a movie. You settled on watching Ferris Buller’s Day Off before drifting off to sleep.
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For Quinn, it felt surreal to wake up the following morning next to you. After being in contact with you for over a year, here you were, right there, sleeping peacefully on the other side of the bed. Throughout the night, Quinn was respectful of your boundaries and no lines were crossed, everything was kept PG. You were awoken by the sound of water running coming from the bathroom and waited for Quinn to emerge out. After he came out of the bathroom, you discussed the day’s plan (which there wasn’t really one) and decided to go to breakfast at a very special place. Quinn still had some time off before the first game of the season so you had even more extra time to spend with him.
On the car ride to the restaurant, you began to imagine what it would be like to live in Vancouver. Sure, this wasn’t your first time there but you saw it in a different light as you were gazing outside of the car window with Quinn by your side. You arrived at your destination and Quinn got out and kindly came around to open the door for you; it was a sweet gesture that he didn’t have to do.
The restaurant was the same cafe that Quinn and Petey tended to frequent and the wait staff at the restaurant was so familiar with him, down to the point that they knew his exact order: plain buttermilk waffles topped with whipped cream, strawberries, raspberries, and sides of bacon, potatoes, and guacamole. The waitress, an older woman named Louise, reminded you of an endearing grandmother figure; she even put your meal on the house as a treat. After the meal concluded and you were on the way back to Quinn’s car, a fan was waiting right outside of the restaurant for an opportunity to meet the captain of their favorite team. The fan approached you, Quinn’s romantic partner, to take their photo together. You wanted to correct the fan for being wrong but you also could tell that Quinn wanted to get going so you let it be; besides, Quinn didn’t even hear the fan address you as his lover. Quinn later on apologized for the fan encounter but it wasn’t an issue for you, you understood who he was and the things that came with being a famous athlete and you expected something like that might happen while you were together. You continued on the rest of your spontaneous day, being touristy around Vancouver, visiting Gastown, Stanley Park, and Granville Island with the cutest tour guide.
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Your time in Vancouver coincided with Canadian Thanksgiving. Dinner is usually held at the team captain’s house and since Quinn is the captain, dinner would be held at his place but since his apartment couldn’t quite hold the entire team, Tyler Myers offered to host dinner at his home. It was exciting to celebrate a holiday together and learn more about each other’s Thanksgiving traditions but it also made you feel a little nervous because you would be meeting more of Quinn’s teammates and spending time with their families. The Canucks team’s Thanksgiving dinner was potluck style and everyone had to bring something so you and Quinn offered to bring a dessert. You decided to make pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and Quinn graciously purchased the ingredients for you and let you use his kitchen. Quinn was a good sous chef; he actually enjoyed baking with you and you both had fun together. You even got into a little squabble over who would wash the dishes before agreeing that you would wash them and Quinn would dry them. After the cookies were done, you both got ready for dinner.
On the car ride over to the Myers house, your mind began to wander, contemplating about the domestic moment you shared earlier with Quinn and how you would want more moments like that with him. Quinn felt the same way but wasn’t sure how to verbally tell you that. Before you knew it, you had arrived at your destination. You casually mixed and mingled with the other Canucks players and their families; as expected, some of the players had kids and the kids were curious to know who you were and you explained to them that you were Quinn’s friend. Tristan, Tyler’s son, asked if you were Quinn’s lover friend and you were going to tell him no but you were interrupted by the message that dinner was about to be served so you let it go.
Despite your initial nervousness about the event, dinner actually went well and your cookies were a hit. The other Canucks players and their wives and girlfriends accepted you well into their group; they liked you for you and they liked you with Quinn. Due to the fact he’s their captain, some of the guys pushed Quinn into giving a speech and he expressed his thankfulness and gratitude on such a special holiday; he even looked at you when he mentioned how glad he was to have the people in the room as a part of his life.
During the post-dinner relaxation time, you and Quinn settled into watching the CFL game that was on before Tristan came up to ask the both of you to play hide and seek with him and his sister, Skylar. The football game wasn’t that interesting to either of you so you both agreed to play. Since you were the guest, the kids had you count first.
As you were looking to see where Quinn and the kids were hiding, you observed around the Myers home and began to think about how this was something that you had desired to have one day; a home full of love, laughter, and children. You checked the guest room closet to see if anyone was hiding in there before greeting Quinn by shouting BOO as soon as you opened the door. Instead of stepping out to help you find Skylar and Tristan, Quinn pulled you back into the closet and shut the door for a quiet moment alone. Quinn’s heart was beating super fast, not just because you inflicted fear into him for a brief second, but also because you were close to each other inside the dark closet. You obviously couldn’t see in the darkness but Quinn kept staring at the presumed outline of your mouth because he wanted pull you closer and kiss you so bad. Quinn almost had his chance to ask but was interrupted by the sound of children’s feet pattering on the ground and the door opening. Tristan quickly corrected you that as the counter, you were not allowed to hide until it was your turn to hide. An all-too-familiar chuckle came out of Quinn and you rolled your eyes at him since he was the one who caused you to break the rules before playing another round of hide and seek with the kids.
When it was time to say goodbye, Tristan and Skylar came over to give you a departing hug and Tristan loudly said that he had fun with you, Quinn’s special friend. It warmed your heart to hear his little voice say that to you. Before dropping you off back at the hotel, you had asked Quinn if he was going to stop and get his annual Thanksgiving apple pie slice from the bakery. He had mentioned his Thanksgiving tradition to you only once but it meant a lot to him that you had remembered that. Due to the fact that you made dessert from scratch, Quinn forgot to pick up the pie beforehand to bring to the party and the bakery with the pie that he enjoyed was already closed, but it was okay. Quinn didn’t mind skipping his tradition because he got to make a new memory with you. You and Quinn had such a good time at the Thanksgiving dinner and you had quietly hoped to get the opportunity to spend more holidays together.
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The Canucks home opener was finally here. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking for Quinn; he knew that this day was coming but it felt a little more surreal that it was actually here. Quinn’s parents, Ellen and Jim, even flew in to watch their son receive his official captaincy before jetting off to go watch Jack and Luke at the Devils home opener the following day. You felt a bit of deja vu being back at Rogers Arena, since that was the place you and Quinn had met over a year ago, but that deja vu feeling came in a good way. It was fun to watch warmups with the other WAGs and you got to see Emma again. As warmups went on, you held J.T. Miller’s son, Owen, in your arms while Natalie Miller held her daughters, Scarlett and Scottlyn, closer to the glass to give them a better view to see their father on the ice. Since the day was very busy for Quinn, the only time he got to see you was for a brief second during warmups. Quinn’s heart swelled up with joy when he saw you at the glass, holding baby Owen and he also thought you looked so stunning and beautiful in your outfit. He wanted to pass you a puck but instead, he gave you a quick wink and passed a puck to a young fan with a sign and continued to skate around.
Warmups were over and the game was about to start soon so you went up to your seats. Instead of having you sit with the other WAGs, Quinn got you a ticket next to his parents. Of course, Quinn wanted you to meet his parents for the first time in a much more formal way but due to the limited time that you all had in Vancouver, it was slightly more convenient for you to meet his parents while at the game. It was a little awkward at first to meet Quinn’s parents because you were just Quinn’s long-distance friend and meeting the parents is a big deal but Jim and Ellen already knew who you were because you were important enough to their son that he had told them about you. Ellen mentioned to you that she suspected you were dating Quinn because he spoke so highly about you, indicating a possible crush but always shut it down by mentioning that you were just friends.
When it was time for Quinn to be introduced as captain, you got delightful goosebumps on your body because you were so proud of him. You already knew he was captain but watching some of the old Canucks captains pass the torch over to one of your best friend’s brought a rush of happiness to you; your heart even skipped a beat as he put on the jersey with the “C” on it. The game itself was amazing; the Canucks beat the Oilers 8 to 1 and Quinn had a 3-point night. Throughout little moments during the game, Jim and Ellen would ask you different questions about yourself and share tidbits about Quinn; it was nice that they were actively engaging and getting to know you. You were worried that Jim and Ellen wouldn’t like you as a person and for their son but it turns out that they enjoyed your presence and it also didn’t hurt that it was really fun to cheer for Quinn alongside his parents.
After the game was over, you, Jim, and Ellen walked down the same tunnels to the Canucks dressing room that you had walked to over a year ago when you met Quinn for the first time but this time, you weren’t as nervous to see him. Still experiencing the high from the evening’s successful game, Quinn was so ecstatic to see you, waiting for him with his beloved parents. When Quinn had invited you to come to his game, he had imagined seeing you again in those familiar halls with his parents in his mind and that moment of imagination came true. In his post-game interview, Quinn had mentioned that he would hold onto the night’s memories forever and you would also hold onto those memories in your own way too.
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Since the Canucks had to leave for a roadtrip after their home opener and you were leaving soon, you had one last day to both celebrate Quinn’s birthday early and also to do something to say farewell to you. Instead of just a big fancy birthday/goodbye dinner, you and Quinn decided to go out for a day on the golf course and out to a casual dinner afterward; you also had to run a few errands because Quinn needed to grab some things before leaving on his upcoming road trip. Quinn picked you up to go with him to drop off his parents at the airport so that you could see them again and he wanted your opinion on some things when he went to IKEA. The car ride over to the airport was fine and Jim and Ellen didn’t mind getting in some extra time with their potential child-in-law. You and Quinn stepped out of the car to help with their bags and give his parents a goodbye hug. While you were giving the Hughes family some space and waiting in the car, Ellen whispered in her son’s ear that you were a keeper. His mother was right and Quinn had known that from the moments that he spent with you, the conversations you shared together and you were everything he ever wanted. Quinn had the keys to unlock your heart but he just needed to use them. Throughout the entire time you were there, Quinn began mentally preparing himself to confess his feelings for you somehow but those plans always fell flat because the anxiety of not being sure if you liked him romantically lingered throughout the air and he was scared to ruin the friendship you shared. He was falling for you hard but he was afraid to take that leap.
With one final wave goodbye, Jim and Ellen left for their flight to New Jersey and you and Quinn continued on the day’s itinerary. Goodbyes were always going to be a bit difficult, no matter who or what you were saying goodbye to. Quinn tried to not wear his heart on his sleeve and be strong but you could tell that Quinn was sad to see his parents go so you reached over and gently placed your hand on top of his. Quinn told you thank you and you shared a quick glance with him before arriving at IKEA. Instead of immediately telling you how he felt, you and Quinn aimlessly wandered around the large store; you had mentioned to Quinn that his apartment was missing a floor lamp in the living room so that he didn’t have to use the overhead ceiling light as much and he took you to IKEA to help him pick one out. Thursday afternoons at IKEA were quiet so it was almost like you and Quinn had the whole store to yourselves. As you walked through the store, you and Quinn looked at the different room setups and asked each other what you liked and disliked about each room setup; you also both began to imagine what it would be like to share a home together. Quinn even absentmindedly grabbed onto your hand and your fingers interlocked together for a brief second before you found the lamps and slipped your hand away to look at them. You picked out a black floor lamp that matched the aesthetic of Quinn’s apartment and continued to wander around the store until you reached the cash register. Quinn didn’t try to hold your hand again and neither of you brought up that moment for the rest of the day. Your time at the golf course was fun; being the self-proclaimed golf expert he was, Quinn did win the game.
Quinn decided that he wanted to have his birthday dinner/last meal with you at Moxie’s. While you waited for your food to arrive, you gave Quinn his birthday gift. It was challenging to get a gift for someone who could afford plenty and rarely mentioned what they wanted so you got Quinn a signed copy of Golf Kitchen, a cookbook that included recipes from some of the most famous golf clubs around the world, and a grill set that looked like golf items; it combined two of his interests: cooking and golf. Quinn was a bit taken aback by your gift because you didn’t have to actually get him anything; your presence and time spent with him was a gift within itself. He had mentioned it before but Quinn was so grateful to have you as a part of his life and he was going to miss you tremendously once you returned home. You would miss him so much and were sad that your great time with Quinn was coming to an end; you still had an extra full day in Vancouver before your flight early Saturday but the Canucks were leaving for Edmonton on Friday after morning skate.
After dinner, Quinn walked you up to your hotel room and you and Quinn continued to soak up all of the time you had left together as much as you could before the inevitable departure came. Before leaving, Quinn passed you a signed warm-up puck from last night’s game, mentioning that he owed it to you. You held the piece of rubber in your hand, smoothing your fingers over his signature.
“So now, you own two things with my name on it”, Quinn cheesily told you.
You were trying to hold back your tears and masquerade your emotions but you began to sob while embracing Quinn for one last time. Quinn felt a bit emotional too and he blurted out that he was in love with you; he decided to be brave and not let the fear take over. You thought your mind was playing a trick on you when you heard him so you looked up at the green eyes that were staring and waiting for a reply from you.
“Did you just say that you’re in love with me?”, you hesitantly asked.
“Um, maybe I should have kept that to myself. I’m sor-”, Quinn rambled.
You cut Quinn off with a kiss, something that he had been waiting a while to experience with you. You repeated that you had loved Quinn back as well. A long wave of relief rushed over the both of you; the jump was worth the fall and you were there to catch him. You didn’t have to say it out loud but Quinn knew that you would always be there for him. Quinn asked if you were available to come back to visit him for Christmas and New Year’s. Maybe losing in a fantasy league wasn’t so bad after all.
#quinn hughes#quinn hughes imagine#Quinn Hughes x reader#quinn hughes fic#vancouver canucks#hockey fic#my writing#hockey writing#hockey imagine#please read my story
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I was finally able to think of a request lol :D
I was wondering if i could get a Gyutaro x reader (female or gender neutral, whichever works best for you :3) who is in a depressive episode and just really burnt out, like barely getting out of bed, not really taking care of themselves unless specifically made to, and how he would react to that considering he’s used to them being pretty outgoing and happy and always doing things.
i’m just needing the comfort right now and who better to do it then probably one of the most protective demons in the series.
have a nice day/night :3
SUMMARY: Gyutaro isn't the best at understanding emotions but he'll try...even if he fails. A/N: I got what you feel, my sueto poteo begurl! Sorry this took so long, I was busy and Tumblr deleted my first draft T_T WARNINGS: Cannibalism because demons, fem reader, depression My inbox is still open if you would like to request for the event!
Humans are weird.
Of course that was only from Gyutaro’s perspective, seeing as he was a demon and didn't feel the same way humans did about problems or emotions. It made it a little hard to understand why people would get so worked up over problems because as a demon you could solve all of them (they didn't have much honestly) by killing or have everyone cower in fear of you.
Then again as a human, he had solved most of his problems that way as well, so it can be confirmed that Gyutaro was not very good at understanding emotions.
But you were a demon and that was weirder.
For one you were quite upbeat all the time, always smiling brightly no matted what. For another everyone loved you, although it might be because the dumbasses had no idea as to what you truly are.
Third was that while demons didn't need sleep you'd been doing a lot of it lately. That was weird even for you, someone not strong enough to be a demon of importance but not so weak as to be one of those filthy humans.
Come to think of it you weren't just sleeping a lot. He'd barely seen you around but Gyutaro had assumed that was because he had been out a lot of nights hunting, until he realized watching through Daki’s mind that you barely left your room and rarely did anything anymore. If you did it was only because the mistress was bugging you or you were specifically requested. And when you spoke it was a dull monotone of absolute obedience.
You used to be such a pretty little bird! A canary that delighted everyone, especially himself, with your lilting voice and sweet words. Then you became some peculiar nocturnal creature and Gyutaro found that he did not quite like all ugly, dirty things in the dust after all.
But it'd be a lie to say Gyutaro had noticed the change in your behaviour the last few days. No, it had been Daki, something he was ashamed to admit. She had remarked upon your disappearance and had just about thrown him out of the room when he said he didn't notice anything, huffing that you probably were going to think he no longer wanted you.
Idiot, Gyutaro cursed himself, and suddenly was reminded of the first night at the beginning when crush became confession.
“You're mine,” he'd hissed, and tucked away in his protective hold you had laughed lightly and agreed if he'd be yours in exchange.
You were his and Gyutaro took care of his most precious things. VERY good care of his things.
***
It's been a while since he entered your room.
Gyutaro hunkered down beside you, curious and confused. Your blankets were strewn all over the place and your head was buried under a mound of pillows; it was obvious that you hadn't moved in hours. A skeletal hand hovered above your shoulder, unsure if he should awaken you…or if you are even sleeping. You looked rather unhappy even relaxed.
“Gyutaro.” Your eyes cracked open, his name a statement rather than a question, but there was some surprise in your tone nevertheless.
Gyutaro did not like the look of you, for you looked dead but not in complexion - rather the dimness of the life spark that he had enjoyed watching snuffed out when he killed. He grunted in reply, eyeing you suspiciously. “I haven't seen you in a while.”
“I suppose you haven't.” Your shoulders sagged. “I'm sorry, I'm kind of tired tonight. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?”
“Tired?” Gyutaro recoiled sharply, hurt and a little mad. “You…don't want to see me?”
“No. I just meant tomorrow.” You struggled to muster a smile but he snarled at no one in particular, nails gouging into the wooden floor, before he was gone in a flash.
Clearly something must be bothering you, Gyutaro reasoned to himself as he made his way back to Daki’s room. Something that must be affecting your energy and mood. You couldn't possibly be fed up with him, were you?
No, you promised!
There must be something else, something else the cause of your problems. Whatever it was Gyutaro would get rid of it, preferably painfully, but first he would have to watch you keenly.
It wasn't spying, not technically, when he was only trying to look out for you and after a few days Gyutaro finally came up with an answer. For whatever reason you hadn't left the house to hunt and so you must be starved of a good meal, he concluded. People loved you, thinking you were just an ordinary human, so perhaps the mistress was adding more to your workload or you couldn’t say no to accompanying one of the girls during the night. Easy, he could remedy that! Especially when he found the two guys who had disrespected you oh so badly not too long ago.
He lugged the two corpses back to your room, getting through the window quite effortlessly. You were awake this time, he was happy to find, and picking at the knots in your hair in front of your vanity, your brush lying forgotten on the ground.
You frowned, though. Not what he was expecting. “What…is that?”
“For you….to eat.” Gyutaro scrunched up his eyebrows, baffled when you made no move towards it. “Aren’t you hungry?”
Your shoulders sagged again. Uncertainly your hand reached out and patted his hair briefly before withdrawing. “…I already ate, Gyutaro, and it’s not hunger that’s bothering me.”
“…it’s me, isn’t it? Do - have you found someone else?” Gyutaro began to panic and rage. “I’ll kill him! Who is he? Is he handsome? NEEEH! I’ll do better, I swear, I’m sorry I’m so ugly-”
“No! Not like that!” Your hands shot out again to assure him, but it only lasted a few moments. “I’m just…tired. I’ll be alright in a few days but I don’t really have the energy to see people right now.”
“You…don’t want to see me?”
“No, that’s not what I-”
Gyutaro’s nails gouged into his cheeks this time as he disappeared out of your room, disappointed.
***
Daki didn’t want the humans either.
“EW! BROTHER, WHY WOULD YOU BRING BACK SUCH UGLY PEOPLE! I’M NOT GOING TO EAT THEM! THEY’RE JUST GONNA TAKE UP SPACE IN MY OBI AS WELL!” Daki would’ve kicked them away from her if her dress hadn’t hampered her movements. Gyutaro growled under his breath but began to eat them himself. “Why don’t you give them to (y/n) ? She usually eats ugly things like these.”
“Shut up already!”
“Hey, I saw you coming out of her room just now, did you-”
“I SAID SHUT UP!”
“Someone’s touchy,” Daki sighed, rolling her eyes. “Did she reject them?”
Rejected me, more like, Gyutaro grumbled to himself. He looked up from his meal, considering things. Daki was a girl and your friend (sort of), perhaps she’d know what was wrong with you. “She’s been weird lately. Doesn’t eat much and shit. Why?”
“You gotta finish your story first!”
“I dunno alright! She just spends her time either in bed or asleep, doesn’t do anything unless you ask her, doesn’t even wanna see or talk to me since a few days ago!” Gyutaro threw a bone across the room in frustration. “It’s like she’s kinda unhappy. Did something happen?”
“Kinda unhappy? Now that I think of it she got assigned to the new oiran a few days ago and she treats the girls worse than I do honestly.” Daki suddenly sat up straighter. She’d finish doing her lipstick and now she looked ready to chuck it at her brother. “Did you not notice? Oh my god, you’re so dense! She’s unhappy and you didn’t do a thing about it!”
“WHAT?!”
She did throw it at him. “Go comfort your precious girl in her depressive episode, you stupid dumbass! Honestly, I’m a demon and even I understand emotions better than you.”
***
It seemed like no matter how nice you try to be some girl’s always laughing at you behind her fan and due to the shortage of girls in the house (you suspected to be caused by Daki, but you had your fair share as well) the mistress had been pressuring you to work harder for the new oiran and nothing was to her satisfaction.
Every minor accident magnified tenfold and every day it felt like you were on the verge of tears or…actually, absolute numbness. You didn’t want to care anymore, so despite not needing it anymore you started spending more of your time asleep than awake, eating the minimum to live. Why did you live anyway? Probably because you were too afraid of what happened after.
And you still wanted to hang around to be with Gyutaro…even if he hurt you with his apparent indifference to your current situation.
Everybody was indifferent, in fact. The truth was nobody cared. Nobody was going to come into your room and ask if you were alright, for everyone was too caught up in their problems.
Well, except for whoever’s hand it was that suddenly grabbed you.
Your eyes shot open at once and you grabbed on tightly to the familiar person now carrying your oddly gently, bridal-style, out of your bedroom via the window and climbing upwards agilely. A very familiar someone with a skeletal body frame, an untidy mop of green hair and grey, spotted skin.
“Gyutaro?!” Your voice should’ve been hoarse from the lack of use and water but instead the yelp came out louder and clearer than intended. “What are you doing?!”
He didn’t answer, only set you down on top of the rooftop carefully and settled down next to you awkwardly, scratching away at his neck and arm. Gyutaro nodded upwards. “Just watch.”
And the sky exploded into millions of colors.
“…a fireworks show?” It’s been a while since you’ve smiled, but the way your mouth hung open and widened at the same time couldn’t be helped as you gazed at the vibrant sparks shooting up. Your hand, out of habit, inched closer to his and intertwined fingers. You were startled when he yanked you against him, almost in a cuddling position, but pleased.
“Daki told me. Thought I’d take you to see it since you won’t leave your room otherwise.” Gyutaro seemed to be steeling himself for something, scratching harder. “…you can tell me if you have problems, y’know? I won’t get it but Daki’s a girl and I’ll…try.”
It’s been a while since you actually broke down, let a few tears fall and have someone tuck you closer to hold and comfort while you poured your heart out like a flood after the dam breaks down. It felt good. Gyutaro listened and he was good at it, not punctuating it with blunt “I could go kill thems” or turning away stiffly saying he didn’t understand you and your emotions like he used to, like you thought he would. Occasionally he’d squeeze your hand tight when one particularly loud and beautiful firework went off.
It was…he really knew how to make things better, huh?
“Thanks…” You pressed your head into the bony crook of his neck. “For this. Feel free to kidnap me anytime for a fireworks show, I guess.”
“I’ll take you to a better one next time. And I didn’t kidnap you!”
Ah, that laugh. How he missed hearing it, even over the boom of the sparklers.
The pretty little bird was back and quite surprisingly Gyutaro discovered he could still feel after all: relief and…affection for you.
#Sunny's Works#Sunny's 200+ Followers Events#gyutaro x reader#gyutaro x y/n#gyutaro x you#gyutaro shabana x reader#gyutaro shabana x y/n#gyutaro shabana x you#kny x reader
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