#and the family member we moved for has since passed and this current move

[kyngsnake]

Fighting for my life to participate in Yeehawgust this year <- guy who is moving in a week

[enchantedlov3r]

Coffee crush An Ellie Williams fic College Barista au CHAPTER TWO!

Summary: Young love, always the cutest thing, especially when it's on your very hot barista at your local coffee shop on campus.

Pairings: Barista!Ellie Williams x puppy!reader

Word Count: 4.5k (WOAH! never done that before<33)

Warnings: fluff, first time meeting, flustered reader, bold ellie, lots of sexual tension, shameless flirting, ellie being really hot, brief mentions of alcohol, slight debating/arguing but playful, eventual smut in later chapters, a brief kiss, lmk if I missed anything loves💓

A/N: funny story, there was this fic I read about streamer ellie by @r3starttt and she linked her pinterest below so I just wanted to give creds to her for allowing me to use these pics from her saved pinterest. Also some of it will be via text message style so ellie will be bold and reader will not. lowercase intended..

You were honestly just a girl, who happened to like other girls, no big deal. but when your parents denied it, denied you, you moved out.

you weren’t going to deal with unsupportive family members judging you at every family function.

and you sure as hell weren’t going to stand with your parents treating you completely different from everyone else.

so you moved away from that toxic life but not just because of your parents but for college as well.

you wanted to move to this small town and get to know people new and study at your dream college.

once you finally found out you got in, you made your motives known to the family that you were leaving and never coming back.

you made it to your dorm and met this awesome girl named Kansas. You guys really hit it off your first semester and ever since, you guys have been the best of friends.

constantly hanging out and going to bookstores and party’s and going on vacations and so much more.

So, now to the present day, you’re currently in your dorm studying for finals.

Kansas walks in and greets you, you greet her back and she plops on the bed with a sigh.

“what’s wrong Kansas? I know that sigh. What’s up?” you ask her while keeping your focus on your notes

“I wanna go somewhere, to meet some hot people. get screwed and fucked up” Kansas replies. You bark out a laugh while shaking your head

“I’m getting kinda tired kans, we can go to a coffee shop? Keep me awake cause I need to study for these finals. Wanna go with me?” You ask her

she shakes her head letting out a hum of disapproval, “mm-mm I’m good, I’ll probably just sleep it out. Night.” She says lying down.

“night kans.” you say closing your notebook and grabbing your red converse. They were a little beat up but they were your favorites.

you walked off campus, greeting people as they passed, some people you know, some you’ve met once, and even the strangers that were polite.

you saw the bistro and smiled walking in. There was someone in front of you, a tall blonde-haired boy.

you patiently waited while he ordered his beverage, mindlessly scrolling on your phone.

you heard someone yell next and you lifted your head walking forward. The lady was turned around so you waited until her focus was on you

once she turned around your eyes widened and you stared in awe.

she was the hottest girl you’ve ever seen. Pretty auburn hair framing her face in a cute half up half down style.

freckles littered her perfect face, beautiful green eyes staring back at you.

her lips pretty and pink, bottomed lip tucked between her teeth as she smiles at you checking you out.

“What can I get for you pretty girl?” The lady in front of you asks.

it feels as if everything has stopped and you are the only ones able to move, talk and it was amazing.

“uh-uhm sorry, hi my names y/n and w-what’s yours? I’m pretty sure it’s a sexy- I mean spectacular name.” You stutter before face planting at how embarrassing you’re being.

“Ha, uh Ellie, my names Ellie. You’re funny but, what would you like to drink? Anything that makes you tick?” She says with a smile on her face as she tilts her head scratching her neck.

'you' the only word coming to your mind.

it’s only then you notice how long and slender her fingers are and the wonderful tattoo that litters her forearm.

“I would like a cappuccino please and nice tattoo, it’s beautiful, just like you. Uhm sorry I mean it’s uhm- a-a beautiful…" you sigh. "I’m gonna stop talking now.” You stutter out nervously.

“it’s fine sweetheart, thanks for the compliments.” Ellie responds with a wink. “ your cappuccino will be ready shortly. Your total is $5.95.” Ellie says smiling.

you pull out your card and pay. You look around noticing the beauty on the inside of the bistro and smile.

Ellie watches you with intent because she would be lying if she didn’t think you were extremely hot.

she wanted so badly to talk to you for longer but she had customers and a job to do. So she came up with the idea when you weren’t looking to write her number on your receipt.

“here you go. Maybe we’ll meet again sometime.” She said with a smile handing you your receipt.

“yea, maybe we will.” You say knowing damn well your coming back to this bistro everyday until you graduate college.

You walk off to go to the waiting area to wait for your name to be called for your drink. Your playing with the receipt when you catch something in the corner of your eye.

you look over and see Ellie mouthing something and making hand gestures.

you see her pointing to your hand so you look down and see numbers written down on the back of the receipt.

you look at her and smile and she smiles back before tending to the next customer that walked in.

you notice it’s a phone number, her phone number. You smile and heat rushes to your face. She also left a little note.

“text me, your cute btw, anyone ever tell you that? It was nice meeting you;)”

you smile at the note and fold the receipt and put it in your back pocket to keep for later.

you hear your name get called and grab your drink. You smile and wink at Ellie as you leave and walk out the door.

The moment you get out you jump up and down and giggle before running back to your dorm to study.

you pull out the receipt and smile at the note again. you type the number into your phone and you hesitate to text her. contemplating for an hour before finally texting her.

you: heyy:) it's me! you off work yet? (10:47pm)

ellie🤭: heyy pretty, yea I get off in 5 minutes so I'm clocking out. (10:50pm)

you: ohh ok, so how was it, your shift that is? (10:50pm)

ellie🤭: it was stressful but it got better about an hour ago when this really hot girl walked in and I gave her my number on a receipt. (10:51pm)

you: stoppp your making me nervous, thanks for the compliment btw:) (10:53pm)

ellie: ofc sweetheart, now wanna play a game? (10:53pm)

you: sure what do you have in mind els, can I call u els? (10:54pm)

ellie🤭: you can call me whatever you want love. (10:54pm)

ellie🤭: maybe 21 questions? only if your up for it? (10:55pm)

you: yea sure so do i go first or you? (10:56pm)

ellie🤭: you go ahead. (10:57pm)

you: ok, how old are you? (10:59pm)

ellie🤭: 19. same question for you. (11:00pm)

you: im 18. (11:00pm)

ellie🤭: ok, nice. (11:01pm)

you: my turn again right? ok uhm, what's your fav color? (11:03pm)

ellie🤭: I would have to say green, like my eyes.

ellie🤭: what about you? (11:04pm)

you: so far this is what 4 questions, lol ok! (11:04pm)

you: I would say my fav color is {your fav color inserted} (11:05pm)

ellie🤭: dope! that's a nice one. (11:06pm)

you: thanks! ok, i'm going to ask, what's your fav movie or show? (11:08pm)

ellie🤭: i mean i don't think I have one, there's so many to choose from yk? (11:08pm)

you: yea no I totally understand! (11:09pm)

ellie🤭: ok, my turn. how about we quit this game huh? kinda wanna hear your voice. wanna call? (11:09pm)

your eyes widened at that. ellie, wanted to call y-you. this was insane you were so lost in thought that the buzz of you phone broke you out of your trance.

ellie🤭: ? you wanna or nah, it's totally fine if not. (11:10pm)

you: no no, I wanna. you call me, go ahead!

(11:10pm)

ellie🤭: alright!

ellie🤭: btw it 11:11 make a wish! (11:11pm)

you: oh stop it ellie! (i'm so making a wish right now!) (11:11pm)

you hear the ringing and immediately pick up after the first ring. at first it's quiet and then ellie finally speaks up.

"hey." she says in a raspy voice that makes your skin tingle. you smile at the sound of her voice.

"hey ellie." you say, her name rolling of your tongue like honey. fuck she loved the way you sounded. so sweet and sexy. she just wanted you all to herself already.

"say my name again, sounds hot when you say it." ellie demands with a chuckle at your little squeak of surprise.

"w-what ellie?" you ask totally confused on what ellie was asking. you lied, you weren't entirely confused but ellie did make you very flustered and very nervous.

sure you could dominate women and be bold at times but something about ellies demeanor and the way she carried herself it made you want to be submissive.

you were a very bold and playful person, you could tease and be funny too but around ellie, nuh uh, you were silenced by her words that made down there tingle.

was it also way to late to mention that you've never "done it" with a girl before. yea sure you've had a kiss here and there but you've never done it.

you were close but then the girls parents walked in and you were utterly embarrassed. the girl ghosted you the next day.

so now you hope that same fate won't happen with ellie.

"god you were so gorgeous in the shop today, couldn't keep my fucking eyes off you." ellie admits breathlessly.

"your so kind, thank you and trust me, I was a mess talking to you." you say with a chuckle.

"I know other ways I can turn you into a mess." she says with a giggle. you giggle nervously and bite your lip.

"mmm yeah? that's something i'm looking forward to in the future." you say, ellie not even knowing how hard your gushing right now.

you guys have been on the phone for over and hour or two now and you were loving it.

she chuckled on the other end of the line. "so, are you more of a coffee girl or an alcohol girl?" you ask ellie.

theres a sigh on the line before you hear a snort, "I mean I prefer alcohol rather than coffee." ellie says.

"ellie. cmon, you literally work in a coffee shop, where you have to deal with coffee grounds and the smell, everyday." you say playfully rolling your eyes.

"woah! just cuz I work at a coffee shop doesn't mean I like coffee babe, I just needed the job, plus it was close by campus." ellie argues back playfully.

"oh yea sure because ellie loves working in a place where she doesn't even love the products in the store. If you adore alcohol, why not be a bartender?" you rebuttal.

this playful banter made ellie laugh and you laughed too. "because I don't wanna sit here and toss vodka in a cup, I wanna drink it, not serve it to others." ellie says as she turns off her room light.

"I'm working in a coffee shop cuz I wanted the money and because I don't get tempted with alcohol all around me, just caffeine." ellie says causing you to burst out laughing.

"ok, 1, that was hilarious and 2. nice point els." you say biting your lip as you kick your feet around on your bed and giggle.

you were sure as hell lucky that this campus was big enough to have two separate rooms. you didn't wanna wake up kansas.

its silent for a little before you just randomly blurt out, "you wanna meet again sometime? maybe like a date? just to hang out and talk more?" you ask.

it's silent on ellies side of the phone for a bit before you hear shuffling. "hey my roomates back but yea totally! Meet me at the water fountain in front of the campus at 7:30pm tomorrow, we can talk in the bistro if you want?" ellie asks.

"yea yea, that's perfect." you say smiling as you bite your fingernails out of excitement.

"alright great it's a date, see you tomorrow pup." she says before the line disconects.

you put your phone down, grab you pillow and scream into it. your going on a date with the ellie williams, the hottest girl you know and you couldn't wait.

it's the next day. your walking to your class with kansas. you were telling her about ellie, every single detail.

the details from last night and the bistro. "she was just like so unreal kans, she called me babe, and pretty girl and so much more but eeee! I'm meeting her tonight!" you say with excitement.

"good for you girl! glad one of us is getting excitement." kansas says rolling her eyes playfull with a dramatic sigh to which you shove her and laugh.

"what do you even mean by that kans?" you say chuckling. she stops, looks at you and lifts her hand.

she lays her palm flat right side up and sticks up her middle and ring finger and makes a fingering motion with her fingers.

you gasp and push her quickly walking away while kansas laughs and runs to catch up to you.

"your sick kansas!" you exclaim.

"it's the truth, I can tell ellie knows how to please too. especially since you described her fingers as-what was it?- long and slender?" she says before snorting and laughing.

you laugh with her but roll your eyes at her mocking. "yea yea, keep it up and i'll find a new roommate." you say before walking into class with kansas.

*tap tap tap* is the sound your feet make as you stare at the clock, counting the seconds waiting until the clock strikes 5pm.

you were in your last class for the day and you just had two hours to get ready for your date with ellie.

you were super excited and also kinda surprised you didn't like see her at all in the halls.

she did say she goes here but maybe she was in a different section. You watched as the clock stuck exactly 5:00 and you began packing your notebooks and textbooks in your bag.

"Make sure to read through pages 25 to 37, there will be some paragraphs to study for your exams." your teacher exclaims.

you nod and walk out the door meeting with kansas. "hey girl." you say as you rub your face.

"what's wrong?" she asks as she shoves the last bit of books in her bag.

"I just feel so drained right now, Professor Popovich's class was so draining. I just don't wanna be a buzzkill for my date with ellie tonight." you express with a frown on your face.

"well I mean he is like 60 years old, what'd you expect his class to be like? Energizing? Just get to the dorm, shower and clear your mind and I'll pick an outfit for you and then you'll be good to go, ok?" kansas offers with a smile.

"ha, your right there, thanks kans I really would like that I appreciate you so much!" you say smiling wrapping your arm around her shoulder as you walk to your shared dorm room.

As you guys finally make it towards the dorm, you immediate hit the shower, clicking your phones vibe playlist as you sing and dance in the shower.

you hear a ding from your phone indicating a message notification has come in. you finish rinsing off your body and making sure your nice and fresh and then turn off the water to get out.

You wrap your towel around your self and grab your phone. you look at the time it's 7:15.

You look at your notifications and see that it's ellie that texted you, you open messages and read her message.

ellie🤭: I probably will get there a little early so, see you soon! (7:13pm)

you: ok, i'm getting ready now so i'll be leaving soon! (7:16pm)

ellie🤭: 👍🏻

you smile and do your routine, you don't put any makeup on just some mascara and lipgloss.

you step out and put on the clothes that kansas picked out for you.

it was very cold outside so kansas wanted you to prepared for when your meeting her outside but still wanted you to look a little skimpy and sexy.

"hmm sexy but cute, thanks kans." you say smiling and hugging her. "but I think i'm gonna wear sneakers instead babes, heels are. a bit much." you express grabbing your red high top converse and putting them on.

"Bye Kansas! thank you again for the help babes!" you say hugging her one last time before walking towards the door.

"anytime. I'll do anything for you. also i'll be out at a party so if you and ellie need the dorm to you know..." she smirks and makes two peace signs and rub them together.

"Oh piss off kans!" you say shutting the door as you hear her laugh. you quickly make your way to the front of the campus and see the water fountain.

you see someone sitting there, a girl in a greenish flannel with a black shirt on and jeans.

you notice that the sleeves of the flannel are rolled up and you see those familiar slender fingers and that sexy tattoo.

"ellie?" you say with a smirk on your face.

the girl looks up and smiles at you. "Hey beautiful, missed me?" she exclaims opening her arms for a hug.

"I may have missed you." you say with a smirk as you hug her. you wrap your arms around her neck and she wraps her arms around your waist.

"let's go to the bistro shall we?" she says with a smile. you nod and let go of her. you both make the short walk to the bistro and ellie unlocks the door with the key.

"so what do you wanna do?" ellie asks as she hops on the counter staring at you as you walk around.

"you know, yesterday was my first time in here. I've always passed this place but kansas tired her hardest to avoid it. you wanna know why?" you say with a smile on your face as you glance at her.

she nods, "Yea sure, why?" ellie asks.

"cuz some dude named Michael that apparently works here, he cheated on her and then made her look like a total fool, so she never steps foot in here again. she said that if she does, she might just toss boiling hot coffee in his face and down his pants too." you say with a chuckle.

"I never judged her for it because she was right. she had every right too but I didn't want her getting in trouble so I just avoided this place out of love for her." you finish as you make your way next to ellie on the counter.

"kansas sounds badass and I hate to break it to you but Michael actually quit 4 weeks ago." ellie announces as she crosses her arms over her chest drawing your eyes attention.

you look back at her and bite your bottom lip, "are you serious?" you ask. she nods with a slight smirk and scrunch of her nose.

"your telling me I could have met you a long time ago?" you ask with your eyes slightly widened.

"yep, I'm always here." she says rubbing her neck. your eyes drift to the movement, to her tattooed arm.

her forearm muscle flexing at her movement's. "What's a crazy story you have els? anything that makes you tick with embarrassment?" you say with a smile.

"hey, that's my saying!" she exclaims with a laugh but answers your question.

"I do actually. I have a few but those are for another date, if you earn it." she teases leaning closer to your face.

"Test me, I bet i'll win your heart over." you say with a smirk challenging her as you lean closer.

"Ok. well..." she says as she leans away from you to fix her position. " I have this one memory in the back of my mind but uhm. you see this tattoo. so this is not an embarrassing story more of a backstory into my life ok?"

you nod with understanding and she smiles.

"Ok so when I was 14, I uhm was playing around in this abandoned like lab. I didn't know what I was doing cause I was being foolish and having fun. I was with my girlfr- my uhm friend and she dared me to climb this ladder that led to all the tall chemical tubes or containers. So uhm me being the daredevil that I am." she says pointing at herself and smiling.

you laugh at her silliness and bite your lip as you look at her lovingly and intently listening to the story.

"yea total daredevil ladies and gentlemen. don't get your panties and boxers in a bunch because don't you fear, ellie the daredevil is here!" you say welcoming her with jazz hands.

you hear her laugh and you want to record it so badly so you can have on repeat for the rest of your life.

"yea yea, I'm so cool I know. back to my story though. I climbed the ladder. now what I didn't know was that there were pipes above me filled with this chemical liquid. So one of the pipes had a hole in them and the liquid gushed on my arm, luckily I stepped back in time but half my arm got like burned or something. so, when I got outta there, my friend, she wrapped it up so I could hide it from my dad. and then when I turned 17 I got the tattoo to hide it. and that's the backstory behind my tattoo." she says with a tightlipped smile.

"wow, well a beautiful tattoo for a beautiful girl." you say scooting a bit closer to her.

she inches her hand closer to yours as she stares at your side profile. she thought you couldn't get any more beautiful, well right now, in this lighting you just did.

you inch your hand closer to her until you place your pinky on her hand. she looks down at your hands and fully grabs your hand to lift it to intertwine it with hers.

you both make eye contact with each other and smile at each other. "I really wanna kiss you right now." you admit to her.

"Then kiss me princess." she says leaning closer to your lips before looking down at your lips, smile fading as she grabs your face and kisses you.

it's sweet and light at first but slowly turns into a needy and passionate kiss. you both pawing at each other. whimpers and whines coming from your lips.

a sweet breathy whisper of her name rings in her ears that makes her skin tingle with goosebumps.

no one has ever made her feel the way you make her feel, so euphoric and so happy.

she wanted all of you and more, she never wanted to let you go from the moment she made eye contact with you yesterday.

you both break the kiss of your lives, a glistening string of saliva connecting the kiss of love that you two just shared.

"wow that was-" you start. before she kisses you again. "Please stop talking for a second and enjoy it." she says before her lips are right back on yours.

you lean back as ellie leans more into you until your laying on the counter and ellie is kind of on top of you never braking the kiss.

"els wait. wait." you say lightly pushing her off you and getting up. "As badly as I wanna do this, I feel like we should take it just a little bit slowly. maybe 3 dates in? I wanna do this just as badly as you it's just i've never done it before with a girl or in general. I want it to be special, not at your job no offense." you say shyly as you bite your lip.

she's silent for a bit before she speaks up. "I'm sorry, just eager to be your first. I completely understand though. I guess this means until next time?" she says as she hops down and stands between your thighs rubbing them.

"yea sure, I guess i'll go then, let you get back to your dorm." you say with a smile.

"hmm or I could walk you to your dorm so I know where I can find you next time." she says with an eyebrow raised with her bottom lip between her teeth.

"no... it's ok seriously I don't want you to go through all that trouble els." you say waving your hand at her.

"mama, lemme walk you to your dorm. as a mater of fact, I am walking you to your dorm. c'mon let's go." she says as she pecks a kiss at your lips before walking towards the door.

"c'mere, let's go." she says motioning her head towards the exit of the shop so she can close up.

you roll your eyes playfully and walk out the door thanking her for opening it for you.

you grab her hand and you look at her with a smile as you see a slight pink tint on her cheeks.

you finally make it to your dorm and check the time. It's currently almost 10pm.

"thank you for this ellie, I loved tonight and I want to do this again." you say with a genuine smile on your face.

"anytime, I definitely will have something better planned then just sitting in a coffee shop and talking.

"ha! ok els, get back to your dorm safe yea?" you say with a concerned look on your face.

"I will princess. goodnight." she says smiling at you. you smile back and bite your lip.

"goodnight ellie." you respond. both of you just stand there none of you moving.

you both are startled by a door opening and a voice. "oh sorry, I just heard voices and didn't know what was going on." a girl from the dorm across you said.

"no no tess your totally fine. sorry to wake you, goodnight." you say with a smile.

"night!" she smiles back at the both of you guys and then shuts her door.

"ok seriously, bye ellie, goodnight," you say before leaning over to kiss her one last time.

she kisses you back with the same passion and smiles into it. "I'll text you when I get back." ellie says before breaking the kiss and walking away with a wave.

"Goodnight beautiful, until next time." she says as she walks backwards leaving you.

you walk into your dorm room and sigh with joy as you lean against the door.

until next time ellie...

Taglist: @ribbonprincess @r3starttt @dollyfl1rt @raynesbandaids @quiet-villian + anyone else who wants to join!

[wandaslittlelove]

Destined - Part 0

Warnings: Cheating, mentions of death

The rain poured as I stared out the window. It had been almost two weeks since I had seen Wanda and about a month since my sister had sacrificed herself for a stone.

When I came back from the blip it felt like seconds had passed but really it had been five years. In those five years my sister was alone. Grieving my loss. Then when I came back and found out she was gone I was grieving hers. It seemed as if neither of us could ever get a happy ending. 

Being devastated by the loss my immediate thought was Wanda. Was she okay? Where is she? But I knew it all had to wait for after the battle against Thanos. I saw Wanda many times on the battlefield and tried to go to her but each time she would move away from me.

After the battle I sat in front of Tony Stark. The many who had been like another sibling to me for years. He was gone. I held Peter's crying figures in my arms that day as he cried for his mentor. Yet another family member had been taken from both of us.

Tony’s funeral is the last time I’ve seen Wanda. The last time I held her in my arms and the last time I was held in hers. I was told she stole Vision's body and had taken over a town called Westview to create her Perfect family. 

I was devastated at hearing this. First my sister dies, then Tony, and now Wanda has run off with the corpse of a man she had always reassured me she never liked. 

So I moved. I stayed in the compound as I couldn’t bring myself to leave. Natasha's room had become a safe haven along with the gray tabby.. A little gray tabby that enjoyed cuddles. Cinder was her name and she was the one thing that was currently keeping me grounded.

That was until Wanda came bursting through my front door with rain dripping down her body. A Pained expression on her face as she held her side. We both said nothing as I moved to quickly inspect her injury and when I saw it was just a couple of bruised ribs I let out a sigh of relief.

She was the one that talked first. She told me of Westview and how a woman named Agatha Harkness came for her magic and that's how she got the bruises. She told me of her boys, Tommy and Billy, and how they were the perfect kids. I listened silently as my ex Fiance told me all about the fantasy life she had created with a Robot. And I said nothing as she told me that she missed me. Nothing as she told me why she did it. And once again Nothing as she told me of the countless nights she spent with the man I had always been insecure about.

“So I just came to say that it would work out better if you stopped loving me. I’ve done so many things to hurt you. I cheated on you for two years. So please forget me.”

“So I'm not allowed to love you anymore?” I asked with my head turned away from wanda. Ever since Westview was created and she chose vision instead of me we had been arguing non stop.

“That's not what I'm saying!” I look at Wanda with a stone face not wanting to show her how much she's hurting me.

“Really? Because I believe the words ‘it would work out better if you stopped loving me’ mean that.” Wanda looks at me annoyed before she speaks

“I'm just saying it would be easier”

“For who? Me or you” the silence from wanda is all the information I need. With a scoff I pick up my bag before walking to the front door. 

“Knowing that you chose a robot over your fiance really says a lot about you Wanda. You created a whole life with someone you had claimed to barely know while I was grieving the death of my sister. And when it all came crashing down you run back to me. I don't want that. I don't want you. I stopped loving you as soon as you ran into his arms” as i exited the place that had once been my home the tears had finally started to fall. Although they weren't out of sadness.

I was free. Finally free…or that's what I thought 4 months ago. 

Until suddenly Wanda was trying to kill a child for her magic. Until Dr. Strange came to my door asking for help. And Until I found out our destinies would forever be linked.

Taglist: @alexawynters @username23345 @casquinhaa

[mavrintarou]

[3:33 PM] Suna Rintarou [1]

OKAY. I started something. I don't know where it's going but it's going to go somewhere.

Warning: TW - death & kidney failure disease, angst, daddy Rin (literally)

.

Rin sits with his face buried in his hands, elbows resting on his trembling knees as he tries to process the news he just received just ten minutes ago. It was the best news he’d heard in what felt like an eternity.

A matching kidney donor has been found for his little girl, Ren.

Eight months ago, his five-year-old daughter was diagnosed with kidney failure and began treatment right away. Rin and his wife did their best to stay strong and hopeful for her, but things only seemed to get worse.

Six months ago, he lost his wife and mother-in-law in a car accident. In such a short time, life had completely turned upside down for both Rin and his daughter. With trembling hands, Rin dialed his mother’s number, and she answered on the first ring.

“Rintarou?”

“Mom,” his voice cracked, and immediately, he was bombarded with questions. “No, no—everything is still the same… but I just got good news from the hospital…” he took a deep breath. They found a donor match for Ren. We’ll be going to the hospital tomorrow to get more information.”

“Oh, that is wonderful news. Thank the Gods,” she cried.

.

“The donor match currently lives in the US.”

Rin’s heart collapsed, “so… what does that mean?”

“When we submit test results to find a match, we don’t limit the search to within the country – it’s worldwide. We always consider the possibility that a match could come from anywhere,” Ren’s doctor explained, reminding them when they had agreed to allow any match. He gave a half-chuckle as if the situation amused him. “This is a unique case. The donor, a female adult, just so happens to be a vascular surgeon who specializes in kidney transplant patients. And now, she is getting first-hand experience.”

“Really?” Rin gasped.

The doctor nodded, “yes, I spoke to her directly this morning and she will fly out here with the time comes, so you do not need to worry about taking Ren abroad.”

A shaky breath is expelled from his chest and he looks down at his daughter who seems to be unaware of the conversation, just watching her iPad. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“If…” Ren’s doctor hesitated before continuing, “if you don’t mind me asking, Mr. Suna, I cannot reveal certain details I can’t disclose, but when I saw the donor’s match results, I was honestly stunned.”

Rin’s head tilted as he frowned, “why do you say that?”

The doctor frowned slightly and scratched the back of his head. “I recall when we were conducting tests, your family members all agreed to come in and see if they were a match for Ren. Was that… all of the family members?”

All immediate family members were tested as soon as Rin and his wife found out they weren’t a match for their daughter. Rin’s brow furrowed. “Yes, my wife was an only child raised by her mother. Her parents divorced, and she hasn’t seen her father since she was one year old. I only have one sister and my parents. Why? Is there a problem?”

“No problem at all, the donor has matched the blood, tissue, and antibody types and is currently undergoing a health test, and as soon as they pass, we can move forward with the next steps.”

.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?” Rin murmured as he carried her into their home. With her treatment, she is often tired and vulnerable. She would sleep at odd times throughout the day.

“Am I going to get better?”

“Yes, baby. You are,” he promised, “you’re going to get better very soon.”

.

Three weeks later felt long, but according to the doctor, it was an incredibly fast process.

The donor was on their way and will arrive in a few hours. They will have to conduct one final test before proceeding to the surgery.

Rin has offered to pay for their stay while they’re in the country but they have politely declined.

 He was thankful for this person but understood why they would like to remain anonymous.

“Some donor wants to remain anonymous to protect their confidentiality and protect the recipient.”

For some reason, Rin felt an overwhelming, eager desire to meet this donor. His heart yearned to encounter this person.

.

“Go, go enjoy a night out with the twins.”

Ren hugged her teddy bear tightly, “you’ll be back later to tuck me in?”

Rin nodded, crouching down to her eye level. “Just tonight, grandma will tuck you in, is that okay?”

She nodded, “okay, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, baby, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll be home later but just late after your bedtime.” He kisses her forehead, “I’m just going out with uncle Osamu and Atsumu for their birthday.”

“Okay,” she answered with a  small smile, “tell them I miss them.”

Rin smiles, “I will, good night.”

.

“Thank the Gods my baby girl found a donor!” Atsumu slapped a hand over his heart. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all week.”

Osamu raised his glass of beer, “cheers boys, cheers to baby girl matching a donor.”

They all raised their glasses in sync. “Thank you, it’s wonderful news and everything is going well.”

“Are you going to meet the donor?” Atsumu asked.

Rin shook his head, “no, they want to remain anonymous.”

“So, that means you guys will never know this person who is giving their kidney to Ren?”

Rin nodded his head, “correct. It’s unfortunate, I really wish I could meet them to thank them but the best I can do is give them a card, maybe?”

“That’s a bummer,” Osamu muttered, “I understand where they’re coming from but it’s not like… you guys know each other, you know? What’s so bad about meeting each other.”

“I’m not sure either, but I’ll respect their wishes, it’s the least I can do after all they are doing for my baby girl,” Rin says, twisting his wedding band around his finger.

.

After parting ways with the twins, Rin decided to take a walk. He stuffed his hands into his jacket, the nights have become colder and colder. His wife’s favorite scarf hung loosely around his neck. It was one of the few items of hers that still had her scent and on days that he missed her more than usual, he would wear it, feeling a little closer to her.

It has been a while since he has gone out with the boys, let alone have some good beer and relax. It was much needed and he felt the buzz kick in.

It was a weekend and downtown was busy with a live crowd.

Normally he would avoid the crowd but something was pulling him towards that direction.

With a soft sigh, his feet began moving. He didn’t know where he was going, but he was going somewhere.

He needed to sober up before calling for a taxi, not wanting to return home intoxicated.

As he headed towards the busy part of town, it was like he was going through memory lane.

He is suddenly reminded of when he met his late wife Sumi seven years ago. They were set up through Osamu and his wife, Hayumi, and immediately hit it off. They married a year and a half later and welcomed their daughter shortly after.

Everything was going well, they were a happy family.

His heart nearly broke when his daughter was diagnosed with a disease that could take her away from him. His career was put on pause and he put his focus on his daughter alongside his wife.

His whole world completely shattered when he received the news his wife and mother-in-law were involved in a fatal car accident trying to make it to their daughter’s treatment.

He felt like a shell, barely living. The only thing keeping him going every day was his daughter.

A rush of school girls ran towards him, excitedly screaming as they recognized him.

“Oh my gosh! You’re Suna Rintarou!”

“Can I have your autograph!”

“Can we have a picture with you!”

Suddenly sobering up, Rin accepted the marker from one of the girls, signing his name and forcing a smile for the cameras.

“Goodness,” he murmurs, running a hand through his hair. He couldn’t help but feel a bit of life knowing he was still admired and recognized in the volleyball world.

“Excuse me, did you drop this?” A hand holding Sumi’s scarf.

“Oh,” Rin said, instinctively reaching for the scarf that was no longer around his neck. As he extended his hand to grasp it, he glanced at the person offering him. “Thank… you.”

At that moment, his world froze. It had been happening a lot lately, but this time, he truly felt everything stop. Time itself seemed to stand still as he stared into the eyes of the person before him.

How?

“Sumi?”

Her brow rose, “excuse me?” She blinked and then looked at the scarf and then up at him confused.

Rin grasped her shoulders, his eyes wide. “Sumi. Sumi?”

His grip around her tightened. His eyes scan her face. The eyes, the nose, the lips… everything looked exactly like his wife.

His breath heaved heavily, cold air burning his lungs.

He searched her eyes, finding anything that would prove it was his wife.

“You…” she breathed, her breath clouded the cold night.

He was unable to read her expression. Her eyes narrowed, in the way Sumi’s would when he and Ren was playing a trick on her.

His heart ache.

His hands drop and he turns away. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he rubbed his face with his hands.

He was drunk.

He was hallucinating.

He turned around and the person was still standing there, looking at him with concern and hesitation. “Are you… okay?”

She looked so much like Sumi.

Exactly like her.

“You…” he blinked, tears blurring his vision. “You look - look so much like… my late wife.”

“I think you have the wrong person, I’m sorry.” She shoved the scarf into his arm and hurried away.

.

“Is something wrong?” Rin asked his daughter’s doctor who seemed to be distracted, unlike himself.

“No, Mr. Suna.”

Rin wasn’t convinced.

He had been unconvinced by anything since two nights ago when he ran into a woman who looked identical to his late wife.

Nothing made sense.

He swears by his life that he was not dreaming or hallucinating.

She looked exactly like his wife.

“It was strange,” Rin mumbled, his eyes fixed on the chipped wood of the desk. “The other night… I ran into a woman…” he trailed off, unsure of where he was going with this conversation with his daughter’s doctor. “She looked…”

“Just like your late wife.”

Rin’s eyes met the doctor’s eyes. “You’ve met her too?”

His breath caught before he softly replied, “that is your daughter’s donor.” A heavy silence settled between them. “I had a video call with her and couldn’t believe my eyes. I thought maybe… I was – seeing things? That was a similarity but then again, we were on a virtual call.” He removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I met her… in person, this morning… and she shocked the living shit out of me.”

. . .

E/n: to try and combat this writing slump, I'll be posting random writings to get back so bear with me on this bandwagon.

@queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

[kinokkotsu]

Tender — Nanami Kento x Reader

々synopsis: After years of balancing love life and work life, Nanami has finally came up with a day where he asks for your hand in marriage.

Please let — Promise Of The World (from Howl’s Moving Castle) play in the background for better experience xoxo.

A normal life is what Nanami has always desired to have.

He always dreams to become a person who is a provider for his partner and his children— a responsible and respectful one.

Now that he has been in a relationship with you for over three years, he couldn’t bare to wait any longer. He wants to become a member of your family. He has always visualised cooking meals with you in the kitchen, the room filled with nothing but only laughs of joy. He has visualized staying in a foreign country where the peace radiates— somewhere near the countryside maybe, with a cat and a dog, he only needs to see the curve of your lips.

He has been working hard for the past few years in order to provide you financially, so that you must not worry over bills and expenses.

Now that everything has been settled, it is time for the ring.

The sun is setting and the birds chirp while they fly back to their homes. Nanami awaits in the living room, anxious. He has a small box in his hands. You won’t be back from work till 5.30 and it is currently 5.17.

Thoughts run wild in Nanami’s brain while he sits.

Was he being too desperate? Is three years such a short period time to get married? Will you even actually like the idea of getting married to him?

He wonders.

Time passes so fast that the door swings open as you come in swiftly with a tired smile on your face. “Dear..I’m hom- oh my, you almost scared me,” Unexpectedly, you laugh when you see Nanami sitting on the sofa with his face all pale and sweaty.

“welcome home,” he greets as you hum and lock the door securely. “We need to talk,” Nanami utters.

You glance at him with a slight surprise, “talk? about what?”

At this point you are as anxious as he is too. With his face being too serious, the atmosphere somehow makes you uncomfortable. “What is it? Is something wrong?” You ask, putting your hand your on your thighs when you settle down next to him.

Now the sky is getting darker, radiating the area with dark orangey glow. The city lights illuminate the night sky as the sun peaks down from the horizon.

Nanami sighs— a deep one. He gets up as he kneels down in front of you, “kento,” you call him out In surprise.

“It has been three years since we’ve been in a sincere relationship..with our friendship lasting for over a decade I believe it has finally reached the day where I shall ask for your hand in marriage,” he says, using big words which claims a weak grin from you.

Kento looks up at you and gives you a soft smile, “will you marry me?” he asks.

You look away. The tears burn your eyes while you sniff them away. Nodding profusely, you brush the tears away. Your throat is as dry as a sandpaper at the moment, you couldn’t speak.

He smiles, ear to ear.

He gently pulls your hand closer to his body before giving a peck on it, pushing the ring onto your fingers afterwards. The ring size is just perfect. He knows of course. He has every single detail of you memorized, unintentionally.

“I’ll protect, forever..only until death do us apart.” He vows before embracing your whole hand and putting your palm onto his head. Your fingers run through the blonde strands before you give him a tender kiss on the forehead.

You sob, unable to say a word just yet. He looks up at you, smiling as you do. “..My wife— my woman,” he says. Your stomach twists with joy. Never has you ever been loved so conditionally by a man, there is this man from your teenage years, appealing as the future father of your children.

You hug his head while he lays on your stomach, “..love you so much, Kento.”

“I love you too,” he matters before he returns the hug as he wraps his arms around your waist.

You can tell I have been watching ghibli movies so look forward to seeing more cheesy stuff like this too. Reblogs, likes and follows are highly appreciated.

[atiny-for-life]

Ateez's Full Storyline Explained - THE MEMBERS (A-World)

Masterlist

This is fully focused on Ateez from the A-World since we don't yet have much backstory on the Black Pirates' individually. Thus far, even all I could gather on their shared history is largely speculation based on the Thanxx MV.

SIDE-NOTE: The majority of their backstory is easily found in their Diary Film which was released prior to the Inception MV. But for further details, look to the Fever Part 1 Diary Entries.

HONGJOONG

BACKSTORY

He comes from a troubled or at least not particularly close-knit family - they all moved away as he grew up, splitting up across the world and leaving him behind

When he was younger, before he met Ateez, he didn't have a dream and struggled to see the worth in life - he tried to please his parents with his grades but otherwise felt trapped in a pointless routine

After meeting Ateez and bonding over a shared love for music and performing, he finally got a dream: to become a star and be seen by his family so he can reunite them

But until then, he sees his fellow Ateez members as his main family

Him, Seonghwa and Yunho seem to have known each other the longest and were regularly performing in the streets as a trio

ROLE IN Z-WORLD (FEVER/TREASURE/THE WORLD SERIES):

He naturally took on the role as Captain since he was the first in their hideout and brought the rest of them together; additionally, he was also the one to be handed the Cromer by his alternate self

This role was likely also strengthened by Yunho who's been with him the longest alongside Seonghwa, and sees hints of his dead older brother in Hongjoong and thus tends to look to him for advice

In addition to his position as Captain, he'll also fulfill whichever other role is needed for their missions just like the rest of his crew

Frequently displayed character traits: passion, character strength, leadership, cleverness, caution, intuitivity, loyalty, bravery

CURRENT ROLE (AFTER 3 YEAR TIME SKIP):

He's lonely, missing his members who drifted apart after their permanent return to A-World

In order to ensure he won't forget their adventures, even as time keeps passing, he documented their shared journey on a blog which blew up in popularity, leading him to turn his entries into a full blwon novel

Now, he's got it all: a best-selling book, a family who returned to him, fame, but alone in his room at night, he still feels empty

SEONGHWA

BACKSTORY

His outlook on music was permanently altered when he witnessed a girl with a 'Be Free' bracelet dance

He was part of the original Ateez trio alongside Yunho and Hongjoong

ROLE IN Z-WORLD (FEVER/TREASURE/THE WORLD SERIES):

His unique connection to the 'Be Free' girl transcends realities and has allowed the fusion of the currently two biggest known revolutionary groups in the Z-World (see: Will - The World Ep. Fin Diary Entries)

As a result, I would describe his current role as a mediator between Ateez/The Black Pirates and Thunder since he's so far been the most willing to extend good faith toward Thunder and learn about their backstory

Previously, like most other members, he simply took on whichever role was needed for the current mission

Frequently displayed character traits: intuitivity, kindness, trust, loyalty

CURRENT ROLE (AFTER 3 YEAR TIME SKIP):

After struggling majorly with anxiety and trying to cope with the trauma the Z-World inflicted on them, Seonghwa threw himself into his studies and later became a firefighter

There are fulfilling elements to saving people in this way, but he still can't forget their shared dream of making it in the music scene

He has yet to read Hongjoong's book, having kept it on his desk since it came out

YUNHO

BACKSTORY

His older brother died in a car accident after giving up his dream of becoming a musician

As means of fulfilling his brother's dream post-mortem, Yunho wants to work alongside Ateez and establish a successful music career

Yunho admires Hongjoong as a person and artist but also feels he resembles his older brother which surely influenced how he originally viewed Hongjoong and why he's always looked to him for guidance

He, alongside Seonghwa, has also known Hongjoong the longest and used to be a street performer trio with them

Prior to his brother's accident, he spent a lot of time riding around on his motorcycle with a separate friend group

ROLE IN Z-WORLD (FEVER/TREASURE/THE WORLD SERIES):

He was the first to establish an emotional bond with Left-Eye, who is still one of their first and closest allies, when they bonded over their shared loss of a loved one and lingering survivors guilt (see: Fever Part 3 Diary Entries)

Other than that, he'll fulfill any role needed, such as utilizing his established ability to operate a motorcycle and whatever else is needed (though it does seem like all of Ateez have learned to drive pretty much any street vehicle since they've arrived in the Z-World)

Frequently displayed character traits: honesty, empathy, loyalty, bravery

CURRENT ROLE (AFTER 3 YEAR TIME SKIP):

He became disillusioned with their world, recognizing it as colder than the Z-World - people don't care about each other, just about themselves

After the situation with Ateez fell apart, he threw himself into archaeology, hoping to find another artifact like the Cromer which could reunite them for another adventure

YEOSANG

BACKSTORY:

He comes from a very strict household

His parents, especially his father, had already planned out his entire life and filled his days to the brim with schedules, such as violin practice

As a result, he felt trapped his entire life (like a caged bird) to the point where he compared his upbringing to Strictland upon first arriving in the Z-World (see: Fever Part 2 Diary Entries)

His only escape was studying the inner workings of machines which is how he taught himself the basics of engineering and robotics

He was the last to join Ateez and got in by building them a drone upon their request

ROLE IN Z-WORLD (FEVER/TREASURE/THE WORLD SERIES):

He's in charge of controlling the surveillance butterflies seen in Will - The World Ep. Fin Diary Entries which tells me he's still their main tech-guy

This role is also highlighted in Guerrilla when we see him inside the surveillance van

Frequently displayed character traits: self-blame/guilt, self-sacrifice, loyalty, quick thinking, bravery

CURRENT ROLE (AFTER 3 YEAR TIME SKIP):

Yeosang recognized money as the biggest obstacle between Ateez and achieving their dream so he decided to tackle the problem head on

Reinventing himself, he became a leader of the investment world - profit in mind but also investing in the arts on the side, even if that meant losing money

He's the one who invested in Hongjoong's authorial debut

SAN

BACKSTORY:

He was forced to move around a lot growing up which left him lonely and isolated

Ateez were his first real friends and he was desperate to stay with them, even when his family already planned the next move

His strong longing for a fixed friend group carry into his current behavior and reflect in his emotional reactions to certain situations, i.e. his immense devastation when they first lost Yeosang, his outrage when he found out Android Guardians burn prisoners' treasured memories

ROLE IN Z-WORLD (FEVER/TREASURE/THE WORLD SERIES):

He has no set primary role, so he'll also simply execute whatever part of the mission is assigned to him, such as playing the decoy (see: Guerrilla)

Frequently displayed character traits: strong sense of justice, bravery, loyalty, empathy, sensitivity

CURRENT ROLE (AFTER 3 YEAR TIME SKIP):

San started his own business after Ateez drifted apart, a food truck, and ended up in Jeju where he got to meet a lot of people as he prepared their food and watched them eat with their loved ones

Through their shared conversations, he quickly learned most never got to live out their dreams and wondered if it was time for him to accept his fate may be sharing the same fate

MINGI

BACKSTORY:

He grew up in poverty and with no family left except his grandmother

He's been suicidal since he was young which led to him building up walls that keep others from getting too close

However, he's known Wooyoung since elementary school and Wooyoung's persistence eventually wore Mingi down and they got closer

Since then, Wooyoung was the only one who could make Mingi laugh

Wooyoung was also the one who introduced Mingo to the rest of Ateez (i.e. Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Yunho)

Once all of Ateez had been established, Mingi's grandmother got into some kind of accident which made Mingi relapse and shut down since he felt like he wasn't allowed to be happy while his grandmother was so close to death

His resulting decision to fully depart from Ateez had him call their dreams meaningless, upon which Jongho became enraged enough to lash out and punch him but Yunho intervened before it could escalate further than that one punch

His mental well-being was brought up again when he overheard Left-Eye talk to the Grimes siblings about their lingering hope to fix the state of the Z-World because it led him to realize how powerful dancing could be and how much he'd been letting the past affect the way he sees the world (see: Fever Part 3 Diary Entries)

ROLE IN Z-WORLD (FEVER/TREASURE/THE WORLD SERIES):

He has no designated role, but did recently team up with childhood friend Wooyoung to go undercover as security guards at Prestige Academy during their mission (see: Outlaw - The World Ep. 2 Diary Entries)

He unfortunately also got traumatized during another mission when the Prestige Academy boy's brother died right in front of him and he was left to take out a bunch of Android Guardians by himself without time to process what he'd just witnessed (see: Will - The World Ep. Fin Diary Entries)

Frequently displayed character traits: bravery, quick thinking, empathy

CURRENT ROLE (AFTER 3 YEAR TIME SKIP):

Despite coming from a broken home, Mingi made it big, becoming a professional model for a fashion magazine working with high-end designers

His social media was flooded with adoring comments, his influence far reaching, but he still couldn't help but get captivated by a group of boys busking on the side of the road

When he tried to distract himself from the memories, he came across a video of Hongjoong reuniting with his family

WOOYOUNG

BACKSTORY:

He grew up alongside Mingi and wormed his way into Mingi's life despite the strong walls Mingi had put up

Whenever he feels shy, he'll laugh it off and when he's scared, he'll keep talking until it wears off

He doesn't mind being teased for his habits

He had a strong desire to be a performer but was dealing with intense stage fright until he met Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Yunho at a street performance and they took him under his wing and helped him overcome his fear

Once he became a member, he introduced Mingi who proceeded to join the group as well

ROLE IN Z-WORLD (FEVER/TREASURE/THE WORLD SERIES):

He has no set role but the injury he sustained during the first Android Guardian raid they experienced in the Z-World (see: Fever Part 2 Diary Entries), did lead them to finding out about Left Eye's existence and connect with the Grimes siblings who were then the catalyst behind the establishment of Thunder (see: Will - The World Ep. Fin Diary Entries)

Frequently displayed character traits: nosiness/curiosity, playfulness, quick thinking, bravery, loyalty

CURRENT ROLE (AFTER 3 YEAR TIME SKIP):

Struggling with dread and anxiety after their return from Z-World, Wooyoung was desperate to get back on stage but couldn't see Ateez making it there after their many failed attempts to grab the public's attention

He became a flight attendant instead, making the plane his stage - their guests adored him

On his latest flight, Yunho and Mingi just happened to be on the plane

JONGHO

BACKSTORY:

His original dream was to become a pro basketball player but a serious ankle injury shattered that dream and made him feel like his life was over

Meeting Ateez became his second big dream

When Mingi tried to walk away from all of them and called their dreams meaningless, Jongho felt betrayed and like his dream was being taken from him and lashed out - he gets reminded of this incident again in the Fever Epilogue Diary Entries

ROLE IN Z-WORLD (FEVER/TREASURE/THE WORLD SERIES):

His trauma from his past as a basketball player is further explored in the Fever Part 2 and Part 3 Diary Entries but since then, he seems to have moved on and left it in the past

Like most of the other members, he has no set role and will fulfill necessary roles as needed

Frequently displayed character traits: bravery, commitment, quick thinking, loyalty

CURRENT ROLE (AFTER 3 YEAR TIME SKIP):

Jongho became a songwriter for an idol group after getting signed by a label who approached him after hearing a song he recorded with the members

After breaking up a fight between the boys he now worked with, he thought back to his own argument with Mingi so long ago and got lost in the memories

Putting on the song they'd recorded together so long ago, he cranked up the volume and felt the painful ache caused by the sound of their voices singing his song

[soon-palestine]

To Minister of International Development Ahmed Hussen,

Ahmed,

Our Dear Cousin

We cheered for you when you passed your bar exam. We cheered for you at your beautiful wedding. We cheered for you when you had your first child, your beloved son. We cheered for you when you were elected as a Member of Parliament, and finally a Minister. We were so excited to see you represent Canada on a global stage. The New York Times wrote a historic piece on you titled "In Canada, an Immigration Minister Who Himself is a Refugee" - we could not have been more proud. When you shared your experience with systemic racism but highlighted how Canadian generosity changed your outlook on life through your TEDx talk we were delighted to see you share a piece of yourself with the world. We shared your work all over our social medias, we proudly announced your accolades, we celebrated you with full belief that you would be the change maker Canadians needed and deserved. Sadly, our hopes have been met with a different reality. Once, we were blinded by our admiration of watching you turn nothing into something, but today we are seeing a sobering truth.

Since you have been appointed as a Minister, hundreds of thousands of Muslims have been killed around the world with impunity. Now, we don't fault you for those crimes, but your consistent silence has been deafening. Although your role is to represent the interests of all Canadians while remaining secular, you have proudly shared that your faith and identity has undoubtedly played a part in bringing you to where you are today. With this in mind, we see clearly that you have failed in your role as Minister of International Development. You stood firmly beside Ukrainian people and supported their refugees when they were resisting an oppressive force, but when it comes to Palestine and it's people today, your recent statement lacked the condemnation and passionate stance we have seen you are capable of taking. Your statement minimized the plight and struggle of your Palestinian brothers and sisters, lacked depth and clarity, and did not name today's current situation in the most accurate terms an actively occurring genocide. Although we will never minimize the pain of any civilian or refugee, we are compelled to clearly state the stark difference between your statements for Ukraine and Palestine. With Ukraine you said "Canada stands united with Ukraine and all those around the world, fighting for democracy, human rights, and justice" but when it comes to the struggle of Palestinian people, you fell flat.

Our hearts were broken at your lackluster words when referring to a historically oppressed people. Sadly, we have realized that you won't live up to our expectations and your own promises to be a change- maker and leader. Where is your condemnation of the Israeli occupying forces murdering thousands of children? Where is your condemnation of the genocidal language and unfounded aggression of Benjamin Netanyahu?

As a refugee, how can you ignore the ethnic cleansing Palestinians have suffered for over 75 years? Why have you let your position of power stop you from using clear language to stand with the oppressed people caged in a concentration camp being carpet bombed daily? Children the same age as our own are being blown to shreds or left as traumatized and injured orphans, does your blood not move?

The world is changed through the words of brave people who stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. Decades of unprincipled statements that shy away from addressing the root cause of Gaza and Palestine from politicians like you is the reason why this genocide has continued, claiming the lives and livelihoods of well over 1 million people.

Page two. We write to you this open letter today as your family to simply say -wake up! Open your art and recognize this horrific illegal occupation for what it is, A GENOCIDE. Do not let personal gain, a reputation, and a seat at a colonial nation's table make you complicit to this inhumanity. Announcing Canada's aid commitments without addressing the root cause of this genocide does nothing to recognize the dignity and humanity of Palestinian people. It is a slap in the face to see you announcing humanitarian aid to Palestine when you haven't taken a clear stance against the use of our taxpayer dollars funding weaponry being used to kill innocent Palestinians. We don't need band aid solutions, we need this genocide to be recognized. We need you to speak to the liberation of the indigenous people of Palestine. Your party leader has failed Canada in many ways, the average Canadian's quality of life has tanked according to our shrinking GDP.

There is no re-election in sight for the Liberal party. Is this how you want your legacy to end? With a stain of genocide complicity? You won't have the golden opportunity of standing on the right side of history if you choose not to make yourself clear. We are devastated that today we as a family can no longer cheer for you, you no longer have our respect or admiration. For the sake of saving your legacy and preserving the principles we expect all of our family members to uphold, we ask you to please wake up, take a clear stance, and step down as a Minister to side with the oppressed! You are a humanitarian lawyer, fight for the oppressed! Leave your mark politically to restore our faith on who we know you to be, and hoped you to be. One day your children will see your work as a Minister and they will question you, how will you explain your complacency with a population of indigenous people being massacred?

We leave you with one final note, when we all depart this world we will take nothing with us. Rich or poor, educated or not, we will all be wrapped in a white cloth and placed in the dirt left to answer for all of our worldly actions. So we ask you: Do you fear your maker that you are returning to? We pray and hope you will come to your senses before it's too late. Your role in this government no longer serves you in this life or the next.

#FreePalestine

#EndTheOccupation

#CeasefireNow

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for agreeing that my friend may need to work on their confidence for the sake of keeping a job?

(🕴️👔📚 <--- just so I can find this)

Genders are irrelevant, I'm 19 and my friend "Sam" is 20. Idk if this may be relevant but for for a bit of context we finished school in the same year as each other after our A Levels (so at 17 and 18 respectively), and neither of us are/have plans to go to uni/college.

After school, I had managed to get a part time job that was fixed term up until the end of that Christmas period, and about a month or two afterwards I'd been lucky enough to land a full time job (though I've since left that and moved to my current job). During this time, one of Sam's family members had some health issues come up so they put off any job searching to be a carer for this family member and signed up to claim a carer's allowance so they could still be getting some income. After a little while, the family member's health began to improve and Sam said they were going to be looking for jobs again, though they were still a carer for the family member, and so I started offering help with things like sorting their CV/interview prep/etc, and Sam had then gotten a job similar to my first one, part time retail, though their job had been listed as a permanent position while mine had been fixed term.

However, after a couple of months (I think it was two or three months off the top of my head) Sam came to me and said that their workplace had let them go, citing that they lacked the confidence for the job. Okay, no massive biggie, Sam took it in their stride and still had the caring for their family member to fall back on while they looked for other work, so we'd each silently chalked it up to teething problems (hell, I know I had issues with my confidence when I started any of my jobs). They did get another job not too long after that, this time as a carer in a nursing home, great! Whenever we caught up on how things were going, Sam always said they enjoyed it but did occasionally mention that their line manager had commented that they seemed to need to build their confidence a bit in their role. Again, could easily have been teething problems, so I had offered a few tips that I'd picked up on from my experiences to help build their confidence.

As of writing this, Sam texted me yesterday saying that they'd been let go from this job/hadn't passed the probationary period because their confidence was still lacking in their role (may be worth noting for a bit of context here that when I then asked about it, Sam said to me that they hadn't had any 'actual' feedback about this being an issue, not sure if it's exactly relevant as that might be a separate issue though).

Given that this is the second job that Sam has lost due to not having enough confidence, I want to say something to them about working on their confidence in work, even if they go down the "fake it till you make it" route just to help them out with securing a job in future, and I don't want them to have to be stuck with references from their now-previous employers that boil down to "we had to fire them because they were unconfident" which could potentially cause quite a few issues for them when applying for new jobs.

I haven't said anything yet, as I don't want to overstep anything with Sam and come across as a pretentious ass because I just want to be able to help my friend out but I don't know if I'd be the asshole for agreeing/pointing out that they'll need to work on their confidence for the sake of future jobs, so any feedback would be much appreciated!

[aloyiouis]

elaborate on the motherhood

regarding motherhood and p3? Sure. I’ll use minato as a name, typing hero for too long gets annoying. general p3 spoilers as we continue.

first, we’ll seperate motherhood into two concepts. childbirth and maternal presence. childbirth is the process of becoming a mother. maternal presence is the aftermath. sometimes both can fit under the word, sometimes only one exists. it’s interchangeable. keep this in mind.

let’s skip to our awakening. to my knowledge, every persona awakening so far has only resulted in one being summoned. this is an unspoken rule of the world, so when minato presses the evoker to his head and calls to orpheus, things seem relatively regular.

until, minato starts to scream.

something is inside orpheus. and it wants out. the embodiment of minatos soul twists and contorts to fit this Thing inside of him. and then, it rips out, tearing orpheus to pieces.

orpheus’s head lurches back in a screaming position as the rebirth of death occurs.

“birth” isn’t just a means of granting life. it weighs heavily on the mother, irreversibly changing her entire body structure. you can never be the same after giving birth, you tear upon a wound that cannot be stitched together. birth is painful and life altering.

but, surely this is ridiculous. childbirth, seriously? there’s something missing here. the child in childbirth? where is the child? that thing is a strange and terrifying monster, where on earth is the-

oh, right. hello pharos. he arrived along with this being. it probably means nothing. they’re totally not the same fucking guy.

afterwards, minato passes out from exhaustion, and takes a long while to recover whilst in the hospital. for minato, carrying death was painful and life altering. since now, he can never be the same.

(this is personal input, but due to the mature appearance of mituru’s persona despite being 8 years old at the time during summoning, i think it was subconsciously filling in the lack of maternal presence. again, personal interpretation.)

moving on. we first meet minato, yukari, mitsuru, junpei and akihiko. minato had a mother, but she was slaughtered in an accident. yukari has a mother, but complications exist between them. mitsuru and junpeis mothers also seem to be out of the picture. i presume they’re dead, but i could be wrong. akihiko’s adopted, and his current ‘mother’ doesn’t seem very relevant in his life. either way, they’re all clearly lacking parental supervision in the dorms.

after speaking to the chairman (the only present adult currently) minato is now part of a group fighting against shadows, referred to as SEES. in other words, you’re a child soldier now. congrats! usually children with more stable support systems and family dynamics would be less vulnerable to such things. maybe if minato had a mother, she should see through the chairman’s lies. maybe he would’ve been protected. but he doesn’t. but he does now have a child that now visits him every full moon. maybe with enough love, pharos could grow to be unlike minato.

we are further introduced to other members of SEES. fuuka. her home-life exists behind closed doors, and she can’t wait to be rid of it. she does not speak of her mother, and that says enough about her. aigis. she was created by scientists. ken, a presumably bastard child with a single mother. he was orphaned after she was killed in an accident. and shinjiro is another orphan. Mother’s Day must be a blast for this mob.

the first death of the series to due to maternal presence. well, more like a lack of it. after shinjiro killed his mother, ken has been left alone. suicidal in primary school. poor thing. he would be happier if she was still here. he devises a plan to avenge her. in the end, shinjiro dies. but he is instead killed by strega.

strega is in a similar boat to SEES. if they had mothers, perhaps they could’ve been spared from this mess. instead they were experimented on, and implanted with beings that destroy them from the inside. hm. sounds familiar.

time passes. shadows of the arcana are defeated as something else grows. tartarus is described as a nest of shadows. it’s like an anthill. but we are yet to the see the mother, the queen. pharos leaves, says he’s remembered what he has to do.

we are then introduced to ryoji.

ryoji. he’s a masculine ladies man. bit odd at times, but well adjusted. sweet thing that seems to be made with pure love. a glaring contrast to the current state of SEES. but let’s not kid ourselves here. we know what ryoji really is. but he doesn’t.

death is a constant throughout the narrative. you can sort it into two categories. the death of a loved one and Death. the Death that Tartarus is built to host, the Death is the part of the moon, the Death that tore apart orpheus, the Death holding the contract. The Death extracted from Nyx.

Death calls himself ryoji mochizuki. and she is the avatar for the maternal being.

Nyx, the planet eater. referred to by feminine terms since a deity that caused creation of humanity and all cognitive beings can’t be masculine. men cant be mothers. according to the scientists, at least.

either way, this Death that has plagued the narrative has a label. and she is introduced as a mother. it’s contradictory combination. so far, hasn’t this discussion surrounded motherhood being the giver of life? but, persona 3 is about living as much as it is about dying. if you to say to live is to die, wouldn’t you say the same about birth? to be born is to die. you come from Her, and you will return to Her.

ryoji wears a scarf. it’s often joked to be random, but i think it’s supposed to look like a nuchal cord. for those unaware, a nuchal cord is when the umbilical cord wraps itself around the babies neck during pregnancy. although rare, it can result in strangulation. i think this is meant represent the only way he can be killed. which is by the being that created him.

the fact ryoji can only be killed by minato speaks for itself. minato had a entity that placed inside him as a child, and that thing will kill everything on this earth. Death ruined his entire life, placed a limit on his lifespan. Death is a parasite that makes him weaker by the day. nonetheless, minato holds no ill will to Death. so he spares him.

the final boss battle. the final cry. we meet ryoji, or what’s become of him. or her. you cant really tell anymore.

one unspoken point ive held though this entire post is pregnancy is a form of body horror. motherhood is a form of body horror. it can still be a beautiful and nurturing thing, but it all falls down to what you make of it. sometimes it is a role you do not want.

ryojis body is contorted and twisted into something barely recognisable. nyx avatar is primarily referred to as a she. although, she still has a flat chest and a deep voice. we see a character that was introduced to us as a child, now be fully ‘grown’ and now called Mother.

the inside the moon, you’re met with a being labelled as pure “Death”

to match the avatars avian appearance, the final fight of this game is between minato and an egg. it’s a perfect final form. i don’t have to explain to you what an egg means at this point, it’s the representation of birth of all life.

i could end it there, with the primordial mother of all life and death herself being presented by an egg. but i still have some things to about minato. as i keep repeatedly stating, by holding death minato was forever changed. and finally by the end of the game, he dies.

and he becomes a massive door at the ends of the universe, with six massive eyes. again, he will never be the same. if he had never created Death, if he had never held Death inside him, he would’ve lived. but in the end, like a loving mother (and The Universe, now protecting the world that nyx created), i don’t think he regrets a thing.

[torihakaraublog]

Obey Me! NB "Happy School Life" Pop Quiz Event

Oh my goodness! Has it really been a month since I last posted?? June went by super fast!

The club activity event was okay in my mind. A bit dull club activity wise, would have liked more more in depth explanation of the activities. Plus once again where was Beel! stop hiding him! (tho as of writing this the current event seems to be Beel themed so yay!)

However, there was some very sweet/fun character moments. We got to hear about how dedicated Beel is to his club + making new members feel welcome.

We got kendo Diavolo *blushes*. Kendo suits him really well! Plus possessive Diavolo when we are taking photos of the band group (Lucifer, Barbatos, Simeon - lead singer Lucifer hehe).

Also there was a fun Asmo/Solomon dynamic going on. I love how they ended up being the only members in their respective clubs so they got placed in a room together ALONE. I'm sure they both enjoyed that teehee.

Putting together a photo album at the end + Diavolo giving us a picture was cute too :3

I wanna read Satan's detective novel! (when he's ready to share of course)

Missed out on Levi's shower card, but it looks great! I love how hes super excited about the shirt and when its unlocked hes wearing it happily. Its such a typical anime shirt design style! 10/10

Lucifer Birthday Event!

Please! Lucifer's birthday event was amazing! If irl I could do this stuff with him I would be very pleased <3

Ended up playing it a few days after Lucifer's birthday while waiting for my sis's graduation to start xD It was good to pass the time, except the seats were all conected so every time someone stood up the whole row shook!

A good breakfast with the family, visiting a bookstore (where we both get stuff cause its the worst when you buy something, but your date does not), the opera, spending a quiet dinner together at a nice bar, and dancing!

Loved how when the brothers found out I was spending the day alone with Lucifer, Levi was the first to object. Then Beel was the voice of reason being like "Guys its Lucifer's birthday we can be jealous another day, just not today!" What a good lil bro.

The part at the bar where Lucifer says "Its a shame I can only enjoy this on my birthday." I know he says that cause his drink is a special 'birthday drink' you can only get on your birthday. But since I don't drink I'm gonna pretend he said that since he's the only one who is drinking xD I usually get cranberry juice or gingerale when I'm out.

Obey Me! NB "The Devildom RAD Rangers" Pop Quiz Event

It was fun and silly event. The outfits were very nice for all the characters. Very modest (except Beel's), but on theme. Would have liked Mammon to be a hero tho! Was a missed opertunity for character development. Kinda was everyone vs Mammon.

Lots of good duos - Levi and Asmo practicing poses. Lucifer and Diavolo getting fancy cells. Think there was a Simeon and Solomon moment (I don't remember).

Super cute moment where you get to cuddle Beel and Bel at the same time to release a power move. (Yes that's totally why we were doing that lol)

Normally I don't get around to reading the devilgrams, but I did read the "Brother's no more" memory one and highly recommend. As both a Lucifer and Simeon main it was an interaction I have been hoping would happen at some point! ^_^

***

I might not be... normal about the next/current event xD so my next post might be a bit wacky lmao

[trashboatprince]

Here we go, the rewritten first part of the faerie tale wives au I have.

Crowley is a creature made of shadows and ice basically, and is cursed. We'll learn more of her curse later, but for now, just know that she is deemed a cautionary tale and legend in the area.

Summary: Aziraphale is the lone owner of her family's farm and orchard, and is preparing for an early frost when a blizzard kicks up, bringing with it an unexpected guest.

On with the fic!

--

"There we are, all snug as a bug, ready for a long night." Aziraphale smiled at her flock of sheep, all nestled in their pens in the barn. Her horse, Harry, huffed, shaking his head before moving to eat from his bag of oats.

Her chickens and rooster were all in their coop next to the barn, covered for the oncoming frost, and the bees were already rested for the season out in the fields.

Ms. Potts had informed Aziraphale earlier in the day of an earlier frost than normal for the region when she was in town, but Aziraphale already knew. She already knew when the post-harvest frost arrived.

The beautiful markings of ice on her bedroom windows told her that it was time.

It was like this every year, since long before she was born, for ages in this village and land. Just the harvest ended, the chill of winter arrived faster than it would in other areas, and this was due to the local legend of the Living Shadow.

It was just a story to explain why winter always came earlier than expected here, and really, only little children believed in the legend until they were old enough to start school. But Aziraphale believed in the tales, in the stories passed down by locals for years.

Granted, she was raised in a very religious household, where such stories were never to be believed, as they did not align well with God's teachings. But her parents used it as a warning for her, that disobedient girls who did not follow God and His Word were doomed to be cursed harlots who would forever suffer.

So, Aziraphale was meant to be a good girl and get married, have children, and read her Bible to follow the rules.

However, circumstance resulted in all but one of these happening. Yes, she read her Bible, when she attended church on Sundays and holidays, but she was unwed and expected no children in her future.

This was due to her current life, as the sole owner of her family's farm.

Her eldest, and only, brother, Gabriel, was meant to take over, but he had become a vicar instead. Father had been disappointed at first, but realized this was good, that his son took a faithful path, to which he accepted with open arms. Mother approved as well.

The second child, the first daughter, Michaela, married an officer of the royal Navy, Captain Dagon Fisher, whom Aziraphale did not like much. Mother and Father approved of this marriage, as it brought money and honor to the family.

But what of the youngest, the second daughter, Aziraphale? The odd child, the one who never accepted any marriage proposals and simply kept to her books and her farmwork?

Father and Mother were disappointed in her, but both understood that she was smart, she was resourceful, and she knew the farm even better than themselves. Aziraphale loved her home, and made sure it was kept in perfect order.

When Father became sick with a fever, resulting in death soon after, he accepted that his eldest children would never take over the farm, and there were no male extended family members who would take it, so it went to Aziraphale. Farm, land, responsibilities, all to her.

Her siblings were not thrilled, in fact, they were furious, demanding she sell the farm. Aziraphale refused, and now runs it well. She has local farmhands working the orchard during the harvest, and her cousin Muriel helps during the summer, but the rest of the time it's just her doing things.

Mother used to help, until she to passed over five years ago, which was the last time she really spent time with her siblings outside of small letters and the very rare visits when they passed through the area.

As she knew how to run her home, Aziraphale knew the rituals of preparing the farm for the early frost. For the visit from the Living Shadow.

As stated, it was simply a legend to teach children lessons and such, but it depended on the way the story was told.

One story spoke of a careless, young lady who refused to listen to reason, thinking she was smarter than all others and was always in the right. She claimed she could survive a snowstorm with no consequences while out in it, naked, dancing as if it were a summer night instead.

She was found frozen, sobbing in fear of death, and yet death did not take her. Instead, she was forced to continue her bare dance for all time.

The cautionary lesson was that one should not be so bold when they could be harmed.

The other story that was commonly told was of a young woman who was so beautiful and fair that she was constantly trailed by suitors, who she played for suckers to get what she wanted. But one did not take to her tricks in jest, and cursed her to an eternity of loneliness, to forever walk this world as a cold, bitter creature that no one could follow and approach, for fear of death at her touch, or if they looked at her hideous face.

The lesson was not to play with men's hearts, for that was devilish and evil of girls to do.

Aziraphale thought it was nonsense, because she had met the Living Shadow.

Maybe.

She was never sure, but years ago, when she was young, just after turning thirteen, she had heard something one night.

The mournful wails of the Living Shadow, the other warning of winter's approach. They sounded so sad, so heartbreaking, the sounds of someone full of only misery and angst. It had broken Aziraphale's own heart to have heard.

She felt such an air of loneliness coming from those sounds that echoed into the cold night. And... Aziraphale understood. She had cried of being lonely some nights, when she had the dark thoughts of reality hit her. She had no friends, her family didn't like her, that she was a nobody.

'I understand', she had thoughts as she looked out her window, where frost was quickly coating the glass. She saw, in the light of the moon that night, a figure.

And, without thinking much of it, Aziraphale had grabbed her shawl and boots, and had rushed downstairs as quietly as possible. She grabbed a basket and some food, jars of homemade preserves from that year's harvest, and some of the leftover bread from dinner.

She carried the basket through the fresh snow and looked at the first, shadowed completely, the wind thrashing their long hair about.

Aziraphale recalled shouting at the figure, telling her she was leaving her a gift. She set down the basket and went home.

When she had awoken the next morning, the basket was seating in the flower box outside her window, and inside were empty jars. But one was beautiful, it was decorated with intricate patterns of frost, and looked to have snowflakes perpetually floating inside. At the bottom of the jar was a strange thing, it looked like pure, black hair, slightly frosted.

The jar still sat in Aziraphale's room, hidden away for years until after she was left alone there, where it now sits on her night stand. It never melted, never changed, it was forever chilled and beautiful. Next to it were other gifts, made of ice that never melted, of animals found in the woods. Aziraphale's favorite was the nightingale.

She did this every year, leaving a basket at the start of the frost, until she was twenty, when her father caught her, and...

Aziraphale shook her head, locking the barn doors behind her as she left, shuddering as a strong gust of wind kicked up. She frowned, seeing that the snow has already started, and it was coming down fast.

"Oh, bother." She wrapped her arms around herself and hurried home. A blizzard this early was rare, but it had happened before. The worst she remembered had been the same night she had been caught, she remembered the wailing has been nightmarish.

She remembered crying and apologizing over and over when she finally could go outside again to do her chores, hoping the Living Shadow heard her. She never knew if she did. SHe didn't know why she had been so upset. Maybe it was because she couldn't communicate with her friend.

As Aziraphale made it back inside, just as the storm picked up, she wondered if she should bring back the baskets. But it was too dangerous to go out now, not without risking her safety. So, for now, Aziraphale decided to make herself comfortable and bunker down for the long, winter's night.

It would be hours later, when Aziraphale was cozied up in front of the fire, a book in her hands, when she heard the familiar cries over the howling winds. She got right up from her seat and rushed to the window, looking out at the storm. It had died down, just a little, allowing for her to see some shapes, like the trees of the front gate to her home.

There, just past the gate, was a figure, with hair thrashing about in the wind, screaming in anguish. Aziraphale swallowed, watching the Living Shadow, just as she had that night all those years ago.

She bit her lip, wondering if this would be a good idea, or a terrible mistake... and she moved to the door, opening it.

"Excuse me!" She screamed out into the night, hoping she was heard over the winds. "Please, come inside! Away from the storm! You maybe enter my home!"

This was a terrible idea, even if she was a story, she could be trouble. Aziraphale was raised to believe in God, but she also believed that there were fair folk in these lands, and things that went bump in the night.

'Please, don't make me regret this...' She thought, watching the figure, who had stopped screaming and crying. Then she watched her move, and it got deathly quiet all of a sudden.

The Shadow was fast, much faster than any creature, great or small, that Aziraphale knew of. The figure stood at least three meters away now, quite a distance from where she had been seconds ago.

She was shrouded in black, and Aziraphale couldn't see her face. But she heard her, a soft, cautious voice. "You wish for me to come inside?"

"Yes," Aziraphale said, finding her voice, "please, it's a bad storm tonight. Better to be in a stranger's home than out in this weather."

And now she was there, on the doorstep, right at Aziraphale's face. She could see the face of the local legendary creature, the cautionary tale in person.

Her skin was pale, too pale, like that of the dead, with strange black scars, frostbite? Tears has been streaming from her eyes, and Aziraphale found herself lost in them. They were strange, unusual, like those of a snake, and yet they were gorgeous in their own right.

Oh, such thoughts...

"Thank you." Came the whispered voice, and she moved inside, passing Aziraphale, sending a shiver up her spine, as if a cold breeze entered her body.

"Y-you're welcome..." Aziraphale swallowed, closing the door and locking it, hoping she wouldn't regret this.

One did not let monsters into their home, right?

TBC

--

Crowley's features are human enough, but she looks like a frostbitten corpse in a sense, like, she's got it on her nose and her hands, part of her curse to make her 'ugly'. Her hair is black in this, and is alive, which she uses to cover herself, hence her name, the Living Shadow, as she looks like one from a distance.

[sagezere]

We Were Too Close To The Stars| Scaramouche x Reader | Part 1

wanted to do something a bit fun/different so have this apocalypse AU :)) (Fluff? Idk just a story that will have more parts.)

It’s feels like it’s been a few years since the apocalypse started. The zombie outbreak- You weren’t even sure how it started, but you knew one thing and it was that you needed to live. To live for your friends and family members so they can survive through the memories you have of them stored in your brain. Its grueling and tiring to survive in this day and age-you went from a giant group in the beginning to now roaming the world to survive by yourself, nothing but the wishes of friends and family to keep yourself sane and living.

It's what lead you here now, in some abandoned building rummaging for anything that can help you survive for even one more day at least. Most of the cabinets were broken, dust seemed to fill the air and grime coated the walls.

you continued to scavenge for anything- food, medicine, bandages, weapons. Yet nothing was found. You sighed and held the straps of your bag, holding it close.

Turning around your eyes in defeat, widened in slight surprise and you almost jump back from the scare as you're met with a knife right in front of your face.

"Who are you? State your purpose." A cold voice, sending chills down your spine as you follow the knife with your gaze, eyes trailing and finding a hand, the hand leads to a wrist and the wrist connects to an arm and then finally your eyes meets the holder of the knife in your face. Eyes cold and dark- yet they almost seem to glow in the darkness of the building.

“Hello? Answer me.” Your observation was cut off by the sound of his voice, the words slice through your brain sharper than the knife he’s currently holding. You can almost smell the caution and anger seeping off of him in waves- or was it just the fact that nobody really has any time to care about hygiene these days?

-

“Oh! Sorry about that.” You try to lean you head away from the knife subtly. Staring into his cold blue-ish eyes. You raised your arms and opened your palms for his eyes to see. “Just passing by. Didn’t know that this place was already taken.”

You tried to stay calm in this situation. Assessing that the guy in front of you was probably just scared as you were.

“Likely story” He rolls his eyes, his face morphing into a scowl. He keeps his knife up in front of your face, slowly moving it down to point at the middle of your neck. His movements causing you to swallow whatever spit had accumulated in your mouth.

“What?-“ You mumbled, but he cut you off immediately. “Cut the crap. I know you were sent by those bandits.” The knife was touching your throat now, but you could see the subtle shake of his hand as you continued to stare into his eyes- not wanting to make any sudden movements but also not wanting to show him any sign of weakness.

You attempted to take a step back, but his glare at your little movement made you pause. “Look, I’m being serious here. I wasn’t sent here by anyone. As I said I’m just passing by-“

He removed the knife from your throat but just as quickly grabbed your forearm and pulled you forward, making you stumble from the sudden action. He moved quickly behind you and all of a sudden you were at the entrance of the building, getting pushed out.

“uh- Hey!” You shouted in protest, turning your head to meet his eyes. The sun was out- the sudden contrast from dark to light stinging your eyes as you glared at the guy who still had a grip on the back of your clothes and kept pushing you away from ‘his’ building.

With a final push, he let go and you stumbled forward, luckily finding balance and turning around to see him already walking away. You quickly thought about your next courses of actions as you glared at his back. ‘What the hells up with this guy? He won’t even let me speak-“

You shivered, a sudden chill running up your spine as a sense of dread filled your veins. Freezing you even though the sun was beating down on you. Feeling a but of cold sweat as you remembered why you even ran this way.

Before you entered that building and met the strange man, you were running from a hoard of zombies.

“oh fuck.” You whispered to yourself as you stared into the direction you came from, even though zombie sightings has declined a lot recently it didn’t mean that they were going away. They were all just clumping up in a location and traveling in one giant hoard- a hoard that you might have lead in this direction.

You sucked in a breath as you saw a single zombie in the distance, then another and another and another and another and another-

You ran towards the male who dragged you out here and grabbed his wrist, he turned and glared at you about to shout something but you used your free hand to cover his mouth in order to not alert the zombies you saw.

He used his other hand to try and rip your hand away from his mouth, he was glaring at you but you simply shushed him and used your head to point in the direction of the zombies- however he didn’t seem to get the hint and used his strength to remove your hand off of him.

“The fuck?! Do you want to die?!” The moment he shouted, you swore you felt your world shatter. ‘Why did he have such a big mouth??’ cursing him in your brain as you heard the sudden growls and fast footsteps of the oncoming hoard.

You gripped onto his wrist and sprinted away, almost dragging him as he now saw the zombies chasing after you both.

“What the fuck what the fuck??” You bit your tongue as you ran, trying to stabilize your breathing as you felt yourself getting tired from having to hold onto his weight behind you. You managed to hear a bit of his mumbled cursing as you both were running away.

You examined the buildings you were passing by as you let go of his wrist, unsure of why you even pulled him along with you- but it wasn’t a time to think at the moment.

He seemed to run faster, catching up to your pace and even leading the way a bit. You turned your head to look back and saw the hoard quite the distance away- safe enough but if you were to stop then they’d catch up in no time.

Suddenly a tug on the clothes you were wearing caused you to fall into an alley. You hissed in a breath as you felt the sting of the harsh alleyway ground scrape your arms and legs.

“Shh!”

You looked up and saw him- the man standing against the wall, tilting his head and pointing somewhere further into the alleyway. You get up as quietly as you could and follow him, he lead you to an almost broken and rusted looking ladder.

“Come on, climb. It’s safe.” You turned and gave him a disgruntled look, before trusting him in the end and climbing. Trying your best to stay quiet as you heard him follow you up. It lead to the top of the building, you pulled yourself up and quickly went onto the roof, examining in case of any zombies or even humans up here. Nothing.

You heard a huff behind you and you turned, finding the man staring at the edge. You keep your distance from him and also look over the edge. There, you see the hoard of zombies all running along- filling the alleys and running over each other mindlessly.

“ahh, fuck.” You let out a laugh of relief as you continued to watch them- it seemed like it would go on forever. Turning over, you gazed at the man who brought you here.

He had indigo hair, obviously not in its best shape as it looked sloppily cut and dirty- but you probably didn’t look the best either. Although, despite the current situation- his skin looks unharmed. No scares or cuts in sight besides a bandage wrapped around his neck. Your eyes meet his own, his dark and dead eyes captivating your own.

“What?”

“hm?” You tilt your head, lost in thought. He rolls his eyes and looks back down at the chaos beneath us.

“You really aren’t a part of those bandits. Right?” You shook your head, even though he wasn’t looking at you.

“No. No I’m not.” You removed my gaze off of him and stare below as well. Watching them- imagining the zombies as ants. “As I said before, I was just passing by.” You heard him hum- now noticing that he was closer to you than before, it sort of put you in edge as you thought he might just push you off the building.

It seemed as though he read your mind however, “stop being so tense. If I wanted you to die I would have just left you to run from the hoard and die from exhaustion.” Hearing that, you sighed and nodded to his words, ‘Relaxing.’

“sorry…” You mumbled and leaned away from the edge, getting bored of the sight of zombies running in a single direction. You stared into the sky, the fogged grey stealing your attention even though it was probably the middle of the day.

“Why’re you apologizing?” Despite the question, his voice is still cold. Harsh.

You glanced at him, a guilty feeling passing through your body for a second. “The hoard, I’m probably the reason why they’re even here.” You gripped onto the straps of your bag, probably for comfort or just out of habit, you weren’t sure.

A full soft breeze passes before one of you speaks again. “Don’t bother. It’s not like anything can change the fact that they’re here now.”

His words causes a sigh to slip out of my mouth, bringing my head down from its raised position to stare at him. “Yeah. You’re right.”

He stares back blankly, almost awkwardly as you see him glance away from the eye contact a few times and you notice him subtly shifting his weight from one foot to another.

“Alright, since we have nothing else to do but wait is it alright if I asked for your name?” You asked, blinking a few times from the now awkward and slightly uncomfortable atmosphere between the both of you.

He only seemed to laugh dryly at my question. His laugh felt empty- almost hurt. “Do names even matter now? I simply don’t find the point in such insignificant things now in our current situation.”

His words only made you roll your eyes, but he was sort of right. What use is a name when you barely even use it now? But you shook your head and gave him a small smirk.

“Okay, but it’d still be nice to know the name of the person I’d be sticking with.” He seemed to process what you said before glaring at you.

“What?” You could sense the disdain in his voice.

“yeah, I just made the decision that I don’t feel like traveling alone anymore- and you haven’t killed me yet so now I’m sticking with you.” You smiled up at him, enjoying the annoyance that he expressed on his face.

“What if I kill you right now?” Despite the words, his tone held no malice.

“hm, I think I’m more valuable alive than dead.” You shrugged, laughing at him quietly.

atmosphere seems to change, it was uncomfortable before but now it’s just slightly calm. You hold out a hand for him to shake.

“My name is (Name). What’s yours?”

He pauses and stares at your hand for a few seconds. The brings his hand closer to your own and gently holds it- he seems a little bit uncomfortable but still gives your hand a little shake.

“Kuni-“ He stopped himself while you look at him curiously. His eyes darts off to the sides and back at your face, even traveling back towards your interlocked hands. You notice that he takes a small gulp and stares into your eyes.

“Scaramouche. My name is Scaramouche.” His voice seemed a but shaky when he first uttered his name, but it straightened up the more he spoke afterwards.

This only causes you to laugh, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “Okay Scaramouche. Did you just come up with that on the spot?” You let out a few more giggles before shaking his hand once more and letting go, placing both your hands on your hips as you stared at his flushed face- embarrassed from getting called out probably.

“That’s fine. It’s not like I need a reason to know your birth name.” He seemed to calm down at that, glaring off to the side but you can still see the smile he’s trying to fight off of his face.

—

Alright, this is the end of this part 😘 Sorry about not making a part 4 for my other series things i jst dunno what to do or how to even continue it. Might actually just scrap it and start all over. Abyways hope u liked this little thing I started like last year in december but onky finished now 💀💀 also made a little tag thing for this so it can be viewed more easily 😣😘

also just be warned this story has a bittersweet ending ☹️ expect maybe like one or two more parts to this.

[animalsalvationassociation]

A.S.A. Octonauts Headcanons:

Pt. 3 – Peso:

[ This entry is not historically accurate to the areas mentioned. This is a rewritten/vamped fan version of lower Latin America in order to fit the narrative that I have created for this world. I have however tried to keep it regionally accurate to respect Latin America itself. ]

Peso Pedro Gentoo Perez was born in Ushuaia, the capital of Tierra del Fuego in Argentina.

He is the third born, with two older siblings and one younger brother. Pogo (Older Brother) and Piñata (Older Sister, lol I'm not judging I just wanna know how we got here), with Pinto being the youngest of the siblings.

Peso doesn’t have very many memories of his father (mostly trauma related) but he does know that when he was young his father was a factory operator. His father was in charge of overseeing not only the machinery but also the factory floor. Peso isn’t quite sure what kind of factory it was but it was good money and got his family through some very tough years.

His father unfortunately passed due to an accident at the factory involving a fire and several gas leaks.

Peso doesn’t have very many memories of his father (mostly trauma related) but he does know that when he was young his father was a factory operator. His father was in charge of overseeing not only the machinery but also the factory floor. Peso isn’t quite sure what kind of factory it was but it was good money and got his family through some very tough years.

His father unfortunately passed due to an accident at the factory involving a fire and several gas leaks.

He had gotten trapped underneath a set of cross beams when the ceiling collapsed and didn’t make it out before the entire building combusted.

His father was a kind man with a strong heart, and even in the circumstances he was in he did his very best to be a good person and take care of his crew.

The memory trauma I’m referring to is called Dissociative Amnesia or Traumatic Bereavement. When a traumatic experience (however powerful it is) happens (death, grief, abuse, war, or natural disasters), in order to protect itself the brain forces itself to forget.

Piñata also experiences memory lapses too but not on the level Peso does. Pogo is the only one who seems to remember enough, but he tends to shut away mentions of his father.

His mother Pricilla also worked. She was one of many nurses who oversaw penguin laborers, and although she never got a degree or went to school she was very well versed in the ways of medicine. This is where Peso learned his love of helping people.

She became a widow months before she laid Pinto's egg. After his father died several members of their family moved in to help take care of them, and they've lived there ever since. (Auntie Papita, Cousin Petina, Great Uncle Pepe, and Grandma Perdita)

Precilla would later remarry a king and very quiet sheep dog names Eriko (Mucuchies aka Venezuelan Sheepdog, born/raised in Venezuela but later move to Chile where they met.)

Peso has a large family.

During his childhood there were several epidemics that took out a large portion of the penguin/animal populace, so he’s very happy to have been able to keep his.

His family consists of several different species of penguins as well as multiple career paths, currently he and his two older siblings are the only ones to have had the opportunity to go to school, as well as their cousin Petina.

Of course Peso has very fond memories of growing up, especially with that family, but that’s not to say it was an easy childhood.

Even when Peso was young the community he lived in struggled, not only because of the epidemics but the working environments as well. They were known to be harsh, non-accommodating to the local populations (not just penguins), and overall low paying.

But back then work was work, no matter the pay. As long as you had a job, your family survived.

In those years even in some parts now, the lower areas of South America were plagued with factories and war bound organizations including the military.

Clear skies were few and far between as the air was constantly being pumped with smog, not only from the machines that were used but from the burning of blubber that kept them fueled.

When he was little Peso would go with his mother and the other nurses (some doctors would accompany every now and then, but hospitals were usually very busy) to visit the outer colonies. Sometimes even leaving for weeks at a time depending on how far they had to travel, or how affected the area was with sickness.

This of course, as I mentioned earlier, was how Peso learned to love medicinal practices. He would often claim that he would be just like his mama when he grew up, that he would do anything to help someone in need. And really . . . all he needed was a start.

Peso was roughly thirteen when the Animal Salvation Association (The A.S.A.) began to make efforts to aid communities like his. Sending peace treaties and resolving conflicts through pacifism. Because of these efforts his community began to change and kids like him were now able to go to school and receive education.

It was only when Peso learned about the “Thermal Adaptor Armor™ or T.A. Armor™ ” that he was able to realize his dream of becoming a doctor.

T.A. Armor is a body suit (Created by Lwazii Ntuli) with the ability to regulate internal body temperatures in countered climates. With this suit, warm/cold blooded creatures will receive proper fluctuating temperatures programmed to keep their bodies at the proper condition in order for them to survive.

Peso worked hard to learn and adapt to this new style of teaching. Spending years of his young life applying himself to his studies as well as any medical knowledge he could find. At seventeen he applied for his first internship in a schooling program created by Professor Theodore A. Inkling dutifully named “The Future Ahead.”

With his hard work he graduated early, and it was only when he applied for the Harbor Grove Institute a very sought after university within the United Kingdoms that he earned the attention of Professor Inkling himself, who just so happened to be the headmaster at the time.

Peso made the bravest move to travel all the way to the UK, and with the money he was able to earn working several jobs through the A.S.A.’s new programs, he was able to afford not only the suit itself but the tuition as well.

During his second term Professor Inkling sent him a scholarship that would carry him through the next two years.

He of course took the opportunity with great excitement, and finally Peso was given the advantage and he worked hard to keep it.

Peso was just a week from graduation when Professor Inkling offered him a spot as a Medical Officer for the Octonauts, and he’s been there ever since.

It wasn’t until Peso joined the Octonauts that he was able to really use his skills. Most of his experience came from helping his mother (now retired) in the field, while school only taught him the book stuff.

Note: The first season of the show really highlights Peso’s learning process. He’s naturally caring but because of his lack in field training he’s very hesitant to do things unless it is an extreme medical situation. He holds himself back, but through the caring nature of his team you really get to see Peso shine and find confidence in himself.

Fun Facts:

Fav. Gup obviously the Gup-E it's literally an ambulance.

Fav. Fish/Ocean Creature . . . probably the Snot Sea Cucumber, I mean let’s be honest here, we see Peso’s true form whenever he makes “s-not” jokes. Although a close second would probably be the Humuhumunukunukuapwa’a.

Peso comes from a very musical inclined family, he of course plays the xylophone and maracas (although I think he would also be ✨ magical✨ at the guitar, hopefully they make guitars Peso size because otherwise I might die from laughter) while the rest of his family varies in other instruments including singing/dancing.

Peso slept with a nightlight the first year of college, after that he felt comfortable enough where he didn’t have to use it. It’s only when he joined the Octonauts that it manages to slip into his belongings. 💙😭💔

(Peso could cure cancer if he wanted to but then he’d be out of the job . . . you know it’s true)

I’ve said this before . . . so here’s an excerpt:

I would love to be at one of their family functions

Just imagine someone’s Quinceanera!

Or even dinner at Grandma’s

Yum 🤤

(Yes I realize Grandma Perdita lives with them but STILL)

Every Sunday the crew gets to make video calls to their loved ones to check in and Peso makes sure to call his family at a certain time on the dot. If he doesn’t, his mother and Auntie Papita have been known to frantically call the Octopod thinking something is wrong.

It doesn’t help when there are actual emergencies but Peso and the crew can’t help but appreciate the concern.

Peso is an advocate for good health. (duh lol)

Everyone gets a monthly check up on the octopod (some more than others *cough, cough* Kwazii).

He is constantly making sure that everyone is getting the rest they need every night as well as keeping a constant eye on the Vegimals’ meal plans.

He also cares a TON about mental health.

That was one of the major practices he looked into before joining. I feel like he’s the type to research until he’s literally run out of every book/search engine in his possession.

I think a huge part of that research would have something to do with documentaries. Not so much psychology itself but actual examples from first hand accounts.

Ex: Astronauts, Ocean Explorers/Scientists, Team Dynamics within research groups, etc., etc.

He wants his team to be healthy in all aspects, so in a way I think Peso (Dashi may fall into this category too ngl) would become the group “therapist”, aka the shoulder to lean on when things got rough.

He actually does this very well and I know that the team would benefit from someone being the listening ear. Especially Barnacles and Kwazii.

Peso would be an amazing cook, and to be completely honest with you I think the only reason the Vegimals know how to cook is because of him.

Like I’m sure the others can cook to a certain extent like Dashi, Tweak, and Professor Inkling. Although Inkling is more of a baker as well as Barnacles, but Dashi and Tweak have at least some family recipes from when they were growing up.

I don’t trust anyone else. *cough, cough* Shellington and Kwazii (aka the only ones left) . . . I mean it’s not for lack of trying *sweats in memory of a pirate related foods*

Lastly I’d like to say that I am seriously impressed with Captain Barnacles in this series. He has helped Peso so much in becoming the truest version of himself. Having him step in instead of others (like Kwazii) and allowing him the chance to make decisions without his help.

I think it also goes to show that even in those moments, Barnacles is always there. Not just because he’s protective, but because he knows Peso can do it, and he’s really only there in case Peso needs a reassuring paw even when he’s far away.

A great example is the Vampire Squid episode.

Barnacles gives Peso the opportunity to test his abilities in a dark and albeit very scary place. He and Dashi are constantly monitoring Peso’s movements to make sure he’s okay but they don’t do anything until he has the chance to reach out.

When Peso shows that he needs help the captain allows Kwazii to go first. He knows Kwazii is capable of deterring any true dangers, knowing that he’ll make sure Peso is safe and has control of the situation.

And yes I do realize that Kwazii crashed the Gup-B, but I mean it wasn’t actually his fault . . . for once. (He just gets excited when he sees his friends, so he tends to shout and scare every fish in a ten mile radius away)

Captain Barnacles only comes after Kwazii has crashed, and he wants to make sure that they’re alright. But when Peso shows that he wants to step up and go at the rest of the mission alone Barnacles lets him. Leaving him with a reassurance that if he needs anything they’ll be there waiting for him.

Just the amount of faith that he has for Peso is truly touching. He is so proud of Peso and so supportive.

(Sorry that’s the end of my rant. I just needed to add some Barnacles appreciation to this post. MEOMI and BBC really gave us the perfect trio, I’d be lost without my boys.)

The Perez Family:

Mateo (Father) / Precilla (Mother) / Eriko (Step-Father) / Pogo (Older Brother) / Piñata (Older Sister) / Peso / Pinto (Younger Brother) / Auntie Papita / Petina (Cousin, Papita’s Daughter) / Great Uncle Pepe (Perdita’s Brother) / Grandma Perdita (Precilla’s Mother) / Rocko (Cousin) / Uncle Robert (Rocko’s Father) / Auntie Rachel (Rocko’s Mother) / Ooju (Cousin) / Uncle Oscar (Ooju’s Father) / Auntie Olivia (Ooju’s Mother)

–

(Not me sleeping in till 3, forgetting to work on this because I was so preoccupied with drawing Y/N & Fae, pausing the video I was watching halfway through only to panic at the time and rush this . . . well I wouldn't say it was rushed. I started at what? 7:30?? And it literally just hit midnight?? Anyways happy sleeping, I'm gonna hate myself when I have to get up at 9 for work.

Hope ya'll enjoyed the Peso content! I've had this backstory in mind for a while and now I finally get to share it. I think Barnacles' second headcanon is going to be a half post as in, that one is going to be more about his adult life and I may end up posting two headcanons that day. We'll see.)

Kwazii / Captain Barnacles ( 1 / 2 ) / Dashi / Tweak / Shellington / Inkling

[ This is a Octonauts AU, in no way is this canon to the OG storyline. ]

[morganski-19]

I Don't Know Which Way's Home

Chapter 5: Trying

ao3 link, Part 1, Part 4

October 1986

“Ok, Julie,” Sarah Piercing, Julie’s case worker, sits across a small table from Julie, flipping through a file. “I know that this is hard for you, and I’m not asking for much. But we have to find you a temporary placement until I can locate some family members for you to stay with.”

Julie stays silent, staring at the corner of the table with her arms crossed. She’s wearing her mom’s sweatshirt, the same as she has for the past few days. It’s the only thing that’s making her feel comfortable at all, and she won’t take it off no matter how hard anyone else tries to.

“I’ve looked into your mother’s side of the family.” Sarah continues, sticking to the business. Not even a second’s hesitation in saying the word mother, as if the mere mention of her doesn’t make Julie want to burst out sobbing. “And the only family member I could find was her sister, but she is in another state, and after a short talk on the phone and a background check, deemed not suitable to take in a child.”

Suitable. As if anyone this person sticks her with would be more suitable that her mom. No one could ever live up to the person Rebecca Lawson was. No one could ever make Julie feel as safe as she did. As loved as she did.

“So, I’ve started looking into your father’s side. He has signed the birth certificate, but otherwise has not given up his parental rights, so he is still a placement to consider. Is it true that he has not been present in your life?”

Julie takes a deep breath, not wanting to talk about this anymore than she has to. “Yes.”

“This might all be a dead end. He does have an adult son, though. Have you ever met him?”

She stays silent again.

“Julie, I’m trying to find you a placement that is family, people that you are related to. I want to help you.”

Because the people she’s never met are family. Julie had family, and that’s gone. “I’ve never met anyone on my dad’s side. I’ve never even met him.”

“Alright. Maybe that isn’t the best outlet then. There is an open bed at the Radburn family’s house. They have two children there already, a brother and sister, ages twelve and eight. They’ve been there for a few months now and are currently being considered for adoption from a few couples. Does that sound like the best fit for you?”

“Whatever,” she responds coldly.

Sarah slides a folder in front of Julie. It holds all of the information Julie would need about this family before it becomes official, Sarah explains. As well as the address and phone number of her father if she ever wanted to initiate contact. If she ever wanted to find closure.

As if she needed anything else to make this week even worse. She’s already lost the only parent, the only family she’s ever known. She didn’t need to be rejected by the same man twice.

But there’s another name on the paper, the name of her father’s son. Steve Harrington. If she were to contact anyone from that family, it would be him. He deserved to know who his father was just as much as she did. That family deserved to know what Richard Harrington kept from them.

. . .

Present Day, November 1986

Steve knocks on the now Hopper-Byers house, hoping that Hopper is home. He needed to talk to someone who could actually help him with this, and he’s the closest he could think of. Maybe Joyce could help too since she took in El after Hopper was presumed dead, but he’s not entirely sure how that worked. He’s not entirely sure how Hopper gained custody of El anyway, he’s just hoping that it will help.

“Hello,” El says when she opens the door.

“Are you supposed to answer the door?”

She shrugs. “I have before.”

“Is your dad home, I’d like to talk to him.”

“Yes, he is in the kitchen.” El steps aside and lets him pass.

She walks with him to the kitchen, leading him as if he already doesn’t know the way. The Byers were lucky that the house hadn’t sold when they moved back to Hawkins, and with the payout from the government hush money and Hopper being reinstated as chief, they were able to add an extension so each of the kids could have their own room.

“Dad, Steve is here to see you,” she says as they enter the kitchen.

Hopper looks up from the file he’s reading with a nod. “Thanks, kid.” El walks away with a nod. “What can I do for you, Steve?”

He motions for Steve to take the seat across from him. “I was hoping I could talk to you about something. It’s about Julie.”

Hopper huffs out a laugh, closing the file in front of him and leaning back in the seat. “I was wondering how long it would take you to come talk to me. Go on.”

“I want to get custody for her, at least for a little while. I’m not sure I’m the best fit for her long term, but I want to get her out of that house, and she seems to like it back at mine.”

“Figured you would. I’m not sure how much help I’ll be, but I can definitely be a good character reference for you. So would Joyce.”

Steve nods. “Thank you. That means a lot.” He pauses. “How would I even go about doing this? Like what’s the first step? How’d you get custody of El?”

Hopper laughs. “Well, that wasn’t the most traditional way of doing things so that might not be the best help for your case. But I’d say probably talking to her case worker and seeing what you’d need to do to be granted temporary guardianship.”

“Ok, that doesn’t seem too bad. Anything you’d think I’d have to change to be granted that?”

“Getting a full-time job wouldn’t hurt. There’s probably going to be a house inspection so getting rid of anything, suspicious, is a good idea. But with how her case worker reacted to that house and the fact that she keeps running away, I think the odds are pretty good if she likes you. Of course, you’ll have to talk to Julie about all this first, see if she wants it.”

Steve doesn’t even know how to bring it up to Julie. He’s been scared that she might not even want this, that all of this effort might go toward nothing. But when he remembers the hopeless look on her face every time she has to go back to that house, and the breath of relief she took when he told her she could, illegally, stay at his house. All of it just tells him that there might be some hope in this.

The only hitch was how he didn’t feel like he was enough. Julie needed structure, a home. Somewhere that could provide for her better than he could. He’s barely an adult himself and can’t even legally drink yet, there’s no way he’s the best fit for her. And with the trauma that he’s just now starting to deal with, the nightmares he won’t be able to explain and the injuries he can’t either, it’s just not possible.

But temporary, he can work with temporarily. Steve only hopes that Julie can too.

“I’m planning to, soon.”

“Good. Hope it works out for you, let me know if I can help with anything else.”

Steve goes to stand, “Thank you again for your help. It really means a lot that you have my back for this.”

“Anytime, kid,” Hopper stands and sees Steve out. “And Steve, come to me again when you realize how long temporary means for you.”

Steve stares at Hopper as he closes the door, leaving him with the question he’s already debated more times than he can count.

. . .

“Hi,” Jane greets Julie at her empty lunch table, holding a lunch tray. “Can Max and I eat with you?”

“The people we normally eat are getting on my nerves,” Max complains, nodding her head at the table full of boys they just came from.

Julie looks in that direction. Two of the boys, one with curly hair and the other with a trying mullet are in a heated argument. One is just sitting there resigned of what is happening while the other looks over with a sorry gaze. “Sure,” Julie replies, “looks intense.”

“It was,” Jane states, sitting across from Julie after helping Max roll up to the end of the table.

“Something about the dumb game they play,” Max says while rolling her eyes.

“Dungeons and Dragons,” Jane mumbles over a bite of her sandwich. “They are trying to pick a date to play, but it is not working.”

Julie looks back at the table and sees all the boys now engaged in the argument and winces. “Doesn’t look like it.”

“Are you in Mrs. Wilson’s English class,” Jane asks, making small talk.

She shakes her head. “No, I’m a year ahead of you guys. Had her last year.”

“So, you already had to go through the torture of the Odyssey, be honest does it get any better.” Max reaches her hand across her tray and feels for her sandwich, carefully running her fingers along the edges before picking it up.

“If you’re into Greek Mythology, then yes. But if not, then no. Especially if you can’t get past the old language.” Julie picks at her lunch, not hungry.

Max sighs. “Great. It’s already enough that the story wants to make me fall asleep, but the guy who does the audiobook has the most sleep-inducing voice I’ve ever heard.”

“Lucas offered to read it to you,” Jane interrupts, sounding condescending.

“But he’s so busy with basketball, I don’t want to bother him with another thing.”

“You are not bothering him. Just ask him?”

“Who’s Lucas,” Julie asks, immediately regrets asking as this conversation seems to not involve her.

Jane looks at her with a smile. “Max’s boyfriend.”

“Sort of boyfriend,” Max corrects. “I haven’t decided if I’m ready for the full title yet.”

“He is her boyfriend,” Jane insists before returning to her lunch.

The three of them finish their lunch over small conversation, mainly just Jane and Max with Julie listening quietly. It’s weird to have people eat lunch with her. Ever since her best friend moved away a few years ago, there’s never been anyone else to eat with. And now the school is desolate compared to last year from the moves after spring break. It was easier to eat alone then to try and find friends.

But even though she doesn’t know Jane and Max that much, it doesn’t feel foreign. It feels friendly. Julie forgot how nice friendly felt.

. . .

“You will never guess what Keith just pulled me into his office for,” Robin excitedly runs up to Steve as he’s doing returns.

“We got a raise,” Steve guesses.

Robin shakes her head, pressing her lips together to keep in her excitement. “He’s quitting,” she loudly whispers as a customer came in the store.

Steve does a quick greeting to the customer before turning back to Robin. “You can’t be serious.”

“I indeed am, dingus. Keith is moving away and therefore, quitting. And he offered me his position as manager, but I declined it because I am going to start taking some classes at the community college in a few months, leaving you the opening to take it.”

“That would solve the job thing.” He winces, “But do I really want to manage a video store.”

Robin rolls her eyes. “Versus what, dingus. Just abandoning me to this shop alone as you go off and find a stuffy office job that I know you’ll hate and aren’t even qualified for. Take the job that’s been thrown into your lap. Because Keith may not like you but other than the week of spring break that they’ve since forgiven us for, your attendance has been spotless, with the exception of a few necessary call outs, the customers love you and you have great people skills. And while Keith seems to not think it, after working here for a while, you do have a good understanding of most of the movies in here and how to suggest them.”

“When you put it that way,” Steve sighs, yielding.

She smiles. “So, you’re going to go talk to Keith.”

“Yes. I will go talk to Keith.”

Steve walks over to the office and knocks gently. When Keith opens it, he rolls his eyes and leaves the door open when going back to his chair and his Cheetos.

“You’ll have to reapply,” Keith grumbles, upset that he’s even telling Steve this at all. “And you’ll have to interview with the owner.”

“When do I need it by?”

Keith sighs. “Have it by next week.”

“Great, thanks Keith.”

Steve returns to Robin with a grin. They work the rest of their shift before switching out with the afternoon workers, heading over to the school to pick up Dustin. He didn’t usually pick up Dustin from school, but with the state of the roads and heightened worry from the parents since the earthquake, he isn’t allowed to bike. So, he offered to do the days that Claudia needed to work. And he was happy to do it after all, gave him something to do.

He pulls up into his usual spot, Eddie’s van pulling up next to his not long after. Steve and Robin get out to talk to Eddie while they wait, and to make sure the back had enough for Max’s wheelchair.

It’s not awkward when he talks to Eddie. For some reason he thought it would be since they decided to put a pause on what was happening between them. But Eddie hops out and hugs Steve like he normally does, and then hugs Robin after. Like routine.

Steve should be grateful that it’s normal, should be grateful that Eddie doesn’t hold it against him. But it still stings knowing he was this close to getting something before he let his dad take it away from him again. Like he always did.

The last school bell rings and students start to flood out of the doors and into the parking lot and bus lane. Much less of a group of kids than last year, half of the town moving out after the quake, but still enough.

He spots Julie and catches her eye, waving at her. She waves back and he waves her over, thinking he can just offer her a ride. She’ll probably end up at his house anyway. But then Dustin will want to know who she is, but that he can deal with.

“Hey,” Julie greets him. “What are you doing here?”

“I pick up one of the kids I used to babysit after school sometimes,” Eddie and Robin snort when he says babysit, “Help his mom out. You want a ride, got an extra seat.”

“Oh. Uh, sure. Let me just go grab my bike.” Julie walks away, heading towards the bike racks.

Eddie leans closer to him. “You really think that’s a good idea.”

“Yeah,” Steve shrugs. “She’s coming over to my house anyway.”

“But have you told Dustin about this new thing?” Robin adds, widen her eyes and waving her hands around.

Steve sighs. “No, but I’ll handle it. I can just say I actually started babysitting or something.”

“Yeah, cause sixteen-year-olds are in desperate need of babysitting,” Eddie mumbles.

“I said or something,” he mutters back.

Dustin finally makes his way out of the school, barreling his way over with Lucas and Max. Lucas is pushing Max up the slight hill, making sure that she doesn’t run into the moving cars. Eddie goes over to the passenger side to open the side door for Max, which Lucas helps her to step into, making sure she doesn’t put too much body weight on her legs.

“I got it, I got it,” she scolds when Lucas helps a little too much, but with the relief visible on her face when she gets in the car, it was needed.

“Call me when you get home, ok,” Lucas asks. Max nods, clicking her seatbelt into place carefully and looking forward.

Eddie collapses her wheelchair and gets it in the back of his van, saying his goodbye to Steve before driving off. Lucas heads towards the bike racks, waving to the rest of them as he does.

“Steve,” Dustin repeats, stopping his long rant to Robin about his science class. “Come on. I have a project I have due tomorrow.”

“The one you had assigned two weeks ago and are just now starting?” He asks, leaning against his car.

Dustin rolls his eyes. “I was assigned last week and took me a while to think of an idea but now I have one and would like to get working on it. So can we go before the exit gets clogged with seniors.”

Steve sees Julie almost to his car, rolling her bike beside her. “In a second, I’m taking someone else home today.”

“Who,” Dustin asks with a shocked face. “Did you make another friend that’s a high schooler? You need more friends your age, man.”

“You know you say that and then get offended when I can’t drive you places because I’m hanging out with other people. And I have sort of made a friend, it’s more complicated than that.” Steve walks to his trunk and pops the hood.

“How is it complicated?” Dustin gets cut off when Julie walks up to the car, Steve taking her bike from her and loading it into his trunk. “Who are you?”

Robin smacks his arm. “Be nice, doofus.”

“Dustin, this is Julie,” Steve introduces, turning to Julie. “Ignore anything he’s about to say, he can be a bit overwhelming.”

Julie looks at him with both a concerned and confused look, almost looking like she’s debating getting her bike and refusing the ride. But Steve ushers Dustin to the other side of the car.

“I am not overwhelming, Steve, just a curious mind,” Dustin continues but Steve tunes him out.

Robin gets in her designated seat, with Julie sitting in the seat behind her. Steve shoots Robin a glare which she returns with one that says, “I told you so”, before he pulls out of the parking lot.

. . .

Dustin keeps looking at her. Which is both unsettling and uncomfortable with how obvious he is. Julie’s seen him around school a few times, he was the curly haired kid that Max was sitting with at lunch before moving to her table. She assumes they’re friends, and since he knows Steve, does Max too?

If only Julie could ask, but he keeps staring at her with squinted eyes like he’s trying to figure out her deal. She wonders if Steve has told him about their relationship. It’s not like she would care, they never talked about who they wanted to tell. But she trusts Steve’s judgement enough that if he decided to share it, she would have let him.

“I know you from somewhere,” Dustin finally says, apparently done assessing her face.

“Jesus, Dustin, give it a rest,” Steve chastises from the front seat.

Dustin rolls his eyes but continues anyway. “I saw you eating lunch with Max and Jane earlier.”

“I did,” she replies, shifting in her seat a bit, scratching at the same spot on her thumb. She always gets a bit uncomfortable around new people, but this is intense.

“How do you know Max?” he asks, almost defensive.

Steve sends an apologetic look through the rearview mirror. “Dustin,” he warns again.

“I’m just asking. You two obviously know each other and I don’t know her, so I’m asking.”

“More like interrogating,” Robin mutters under her breath with an agreeing nod from Steve.

“I used to live down the street from her in the trailer park,” Julie answers.

Dustin nods. “So do you know Eddie then too, they lived across the street from each other.”

“I do.” There is an air of uncomfortable energy clouding Julie’s space. She moves on from scratching to picking, almost enough to make her thumb bleed.

Robin groans. “Jesus, Steve pulls over.” He does. “Julie switch seats from me, you can ignore Dustin better than way.”

She gets out of the car and switches places with Robin, now in the front seat with Steve.

“Wait, what,” Dustin starts to protest. “You gave up your seat.”

Robin shrugs. “So.”

Dustin is obviously very upset and confused, almost betrayed. He looks at Steve for anything but gets nothing. “You never give up the front seat, for your motion sickness.”

“Yeah well,” she says with a sly grin, “that might be fake so I always get the front seat.”

“What,” Dustin exclaims. “And you give it up for some girl that I’ve only met today. You’ve known me for two years.”

“Julie’s special.”

“How is she special?”

Robin rolls her eyes. “She doesn’t annoy me twenty-four-seven like someone else does.”

“So, you know her too. How do the both of you know her?” Dustin takes a deep breath, staring up at the roof before looking straight ahead again. “I’m seriously just curious, I’ve never once seen her hang out with you guys.”

Steve gives her a questioning look at the red light. Asking silently if it was ok for him to tell Dustin. Julie just shrugs, leaving the decision up to him.

Steve lets out a long sigh. “Julie is my sister, Dustin.”

It’s the first time since Dustin’s started talking that he’s been quiet. She might have just met him, but it seems like that doesn’t happen a lot. He just sits back in his seat, stunned with this information.

“She’s your sister,” he finally says.

“Yep,” Julie responds, biting on her cheek.

“Holy shit. How long have you known?”

Steve rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know, what three weeks now?”

“Yeah, around that” Julie confirms.

Dustin takes another second to think before his face hits with realization. “That’s why you look so familiar. I saw the resemblance.”

Julie looks at Steve. They have a few similarities, but not a lot. “I don’t think we look that alike-.”

“You totally do,” Dustin insists as they pull up to what Julie can assume is his house.

“Alright, we’re here, out,” Steve commands.

Dustin gaps. “What no, I have so many more questions. Like how did you meet, did she always know, does your mom know, did you ever suspect anything, is this going to throw off our group dynamics?”

“All questions that will be there tomorrow,” Robin adds. “Now out.”

“Fine,” he groans, opening the car door. “See you later, Steve. Nice meeting you, Julie.”

The car rids back to Steve’s is silent, making one more stop to drop Robin off at her house. Julie would start up a conversation, but it felt nice to sit in silence after what just happened. She expected that she would meet the other people in Steve’s life, just not like this. A little less thrown into it all, but then he did warn her that he was picking someone else up. She just thought they would have been a little more amicable.

Not to say that Dustin wasn’t, but he came off so defensive. Like he had to protect Steve from something. Julie remembers that Steve mentioned he met Eddie during the spring break craziness, and now that she thinks about it, he did see him wandering around the trailer park that week. With Dustin, and with Max. With Eddie, and Robin, and some other kids too.

That week was a plague in her community, one that no one really had an explanation for. The same lack of explanations for what happened for the last three years in this town. Just the last fourth of July, there were people going in hoards to the new mall, only to die in a supposed fire. Julie ran into a girl she knew from school heading there, there was nothing normal in the way they were walking to the mall.

Something has been going on in Hawkins, and Julie had a weird feeling that told her Steve somehow knew about it. But she had no other proof to tell her why.

“I’m sorry about him,” Steve finally says. “I should have guessed that it would go like that, but I was hoping he wouldn’t go straight into interrogation mode.”

“It’s fine,” Julie responds quietly, stopping herself from picking at her skin again. “You two seem close.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “Yeah well, he was the closest thing I had to a sibling for well, before you.”

He pulls up his driveway and parks the car. As they get out of the car, the words he said sticks in Julie’s mind. Obviously, they were siblings, that was a biological fact. But biology means nothing when it comes to family, not for her at least. And they were estranged. Even though she’s spent almost every afternoon at his house for the past week, that doesn’t mean they were at the sibling level yet.

Unless they were. Julie was at the point where she could see Steve being a part of her life for a long time, maybe even forever. But she wasn’t sure if he was there yet. She had nothing left, no family, barely any friends. This new relationship with him was the last thing she could grasp that meant a family. It was easier for her to hope for the best when she already was holding the worst.

But him, he had a family. One already made from friends, his parents never really sticking around too much. It was something he talked about a lot, his friends. The kids he “babysat”, Robin, Eddie, he even mentioned one of his exes was now a close friend. He had people to rely on, he didn’t need another person in his life.

And yet he still smiled every time Julie came over and welcomed him into his home. Tried to get to know her and support her in the ways he could. Making sure she had a safe place to run away too when the other house got too much.

He understood her, or at least tried to. If anyone asked, she would not hesitate to say that they were siblings, let them assume that they were a real family. It was a reflex, a need. She needed people to know that she wasn’t alone. That there was someone to look after her.

Julie spent the last month looking after herself and everyone around her. Making sure she got the brunt of the yelling when Molly and Oliver were still in the house, did what she was told to avoid a fight. Ran away for nights on end and stealing extra food from the school lunches just to make sure she didn’t starve. It was her reality.

So, it was normal to want someone to take the load off again. And a small part of her wanted it to be Steve, hoped that he would do it. But she would never ask for it directly. He didn’t need her, and she hated the fact that she needed him.

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” Steve starts when the walk into the kitchen, sitting down across from her usual seat at the table. “It’s kind of important.”

Anxiety shoots through Julie as she sits down. This was it. “Ok,” she says warily.

Steve clears his throat, visibly debating how to say whatever it was. Only making it worse for Julie. “I’ve been thinking about a few things but mainly about how much you come over. I’ve seen you use the back shed a few times when things get bad, and sometimes I’ll come down for a glass of water and you’ll be sleeping on the couch.”

It’s too much, he doesn’t want her there. He’s taking back his offer because she used it too much. He doesn’t want her here anymore.

“The point I am trying to make is that you seem to like it here, more than there. And as far as us trying to get to know each other, I think it’s going well. I’ve liked getting to know you and starting to have that sibling relationship that I’ve wanted since I was a kid. Having Dustin and the kids is nice, and as much as I see them as siblings, it’s different. They have their own families while I don’t. But I want to. So, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to see if I could get temporary custody of you, so you could come live here.”

“Oh,” Julie says in shock, her anxiety lessens and her defenses lower. He said the opposite of what he thought he would.

“And it doesn’t need to be permanent, just temporary. I’m not completely sure if I would even qualify for permanent custody or anything, or if I’m the best for that. But what I’m trying to say is that your welcome here, and I’d like to see you sleep on a real bed instead of my couch.”

Temporary rings around in her head, sticking more than everything else. The possibility of leaving still ever present, of not having a permanent home. She gets what he’s saying that he might not get approved, that she would be forced to move somewhere else. But she would want him to at least try. To at least admit that maybe he too wanted this for more than a short time.

Julie was never one to keep friendships, to let anyone in other than family. It was her and her mom against everyone else, always. She’s missed having that permanence, and she wanted Steve to fill that place.

Even though he would never be her mom, he never could be. And maybe she’s already putting too much pressure on him to be that.

But with the way he’s looking at her, she can’t help but think that they’re one in the same. Two people hurt by circumstance, trying desperately to create something to fix the brokenness of the past.

Maybe he needed her just as much as she needed him.

“I’d like that,” she finally says. “I want that.”

He visibly deflates back into his chair. “Ok. There’re a few things we’ll need to talk about, but I’d like to get this started. Could I have the name and contact information from your case worker, so I can talk to her and see what needs to happen?”

“Yeah, sure.” Julie rummages in her bag for the business card her case worker left her. She’s gotten used to carrying everything on her back that’s important, just in case. Pulling it out, she hands it to him.

“Thanks. It’s probably too late to call now, but I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Julie looks at him with hope that still feels a little misplaced, but she can’t snuff it out this time. “Ok.”

. . .

“I think that is a great idea, Steve,” Sarah, Julie’s case worker, says across the line. “I’ve been looking to get her out of that house for a while now but no one else in the school district has an open bed. But if she’s comfortable with it, I have no problem helping you get approved.”

“That’s great,” Steve responds. “Just let me know what I need to do, and I’ll get working on it.”

“Are you doing anything tomorrow around noon? We can have a formal, in person chat about everything.”

“I have a day off from work tomorrow, so that works.”

“Great, my office address is on the business card Julie gave you. Looking forward to meeting you in person. See you tomorrow.”

Steve places the phone back on the receiver just for it to start ringing again.

“Hello, Harrington residence,” he answers.

“I still can’t get over how formal you answer the phone,” Eddie says.

“Yeah, well it’s a habit.”

Eddie laughs and it makes Steve’s heart pull. He misses that laugh. “I was just calling to check in on you. We haven’t talked in a few days.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Steve didn’t mean to, it just happened. It was better for him if he didn’t see Eddie as much, that way he could stop himself from doing something stupid. “I’ve been busy dealing with some stuff, but I’m fine.”

“What stuff?”

“I’m working on getting custody of Julie. Or temporary guardianship. Custody is a much longer battle.”

“Holy shit, really? That’s great. As long as if it’s what you want.”

It is what Steve wants, but not all of it. His mind has been all over the place that he’s been neglecting himself. Neglecting his feelings for Eddie. It was his choice to put a pause on this, his choice to only deal with one thing at once. But as he’s working through everything again, he wants to feel like he can have things of his own again.

Robin has been there for him while he works through all of these feelings about his dad. The feelings of neglect and unworthiness. That nothing he can do could make him worthy in his parents’ eyes. And how those transfers to everything else.

Other feelings have bubbled up to the surface along with it. The one-sided breakup with Nancy, how unwanted he felt after that. How it felt that no matter how much he changed, how much he grew, he would never feel worthy of anyone.

Even now with Julie. He’s only been in her life for such a short time. And ever though it wasn’t his fault, he still felt like this wasn’t going to be a permanent thing. No one he was related to ever stuck around for longer than a few months. Why would she do the same thing.

Sometime in the future, she would find a family that could provide for her in the way that she needed. He was disjointed with a multitude of unprocessed trauma in a house that he didn’t own. He was unstable, Julie deserved stability.

“It’s what I want.”

“Good. We should have movie night again tomorrow with Birdie, get your mind off of it. I can bring some stuff too if you want.”

“Yeah, sure. I have a meeting with her case worker tomorrow to talk about how to do this, so I’ll probably need it.”

“See you tomorrow, then. Bye, Stevie. I’ve missed you.” Eddie hangs up the phone before Steve can respond.

There’s an ache in his chest when he hangs up the phone again, regretting everything. All he wants is to call Eddie back and invite him over now. Take everything for himself again. But he knows tomorrow he’s just going to wake up and feel undeserving of it all over again, so he won’t.

He won’t string Eddie along with his pile of insecurities, not now. When everything is settled, maybe then it will all start to fade away, and he can let himself be happy again.

But he needs to work things out with Julie first, then he can focus on himself again.

Chapter 6

Tag list(let me know if you want to be added or removed): @homoerotictangerine, @mugloversonly, @thesuninyaface, @imyelenasexual, @anaibis, @ilovecupcakesandtea, @brainsteddielyrotted, @jackiemonroe5512, @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @cinnamon-mushroomabomination, @lolawonsstuff, @writingandmushroomdragons, @stevesbipanic, @sierra-violet, @steddie-as-they-go, @dauntlessdiva, @mousedetective, @the-daydreamer-in-the-corner, @zombiethingy, @connected-dots-st-reblogger, @that-agender-from-pluto, @allyricas, @cheddartreets, @devondespresso, @crypticcorvidinacottage, @queenie-ofthe-void @chronicpainstevetruther, @cheddartreets, @theupsidedownrealestateagent, @acidbubblegummie, @sirsnacksalot, @l0st-strawberry, @helpimstuckposting, @strawberry-starss, @freddykicksasses, @italianwhore1, @i-threw-my-name-out-the-window, @rageagainsttheapathy, @nuggies4life, @ape31, @whimsicalwitchm, @chrissycunninghamfanblog, @michellegilligan, @hippielittlemetalhead, @bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale, @jaytriesstuff, @confused-stripes, @faeb1tch42069, @marklee-blackmore, @hel-spawn, @genderless-spoon, @mamafaithful, @estrellami-1, @starryeyedpoet17 @i-amthepizzaman, @lilpomelito @melonmochi

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

wild blue yonder

the tardis can regenerate itself...... !!! I mean, wait we knew that already kjhkjh but I just connected the dots now that... that means The Time Lords mined and mauled the child just to make their cars better, as well. Damn...

in classic who u used to have to use ur imagination to pretend everything wasn’t a wobbly set... now u have to use ur imagination to pretend everything isn’t a greenscreen :/

"is that who i am now?" the shocking thing isn’t that he is gay (that’s what donna interprets) the shock to himself is voicing how horny he is lol

Someone is gonna say gravity and that's gonna be fucking weird

"it would take trillion years to get that far” chills!

"no one is ever been this far. till us. and this ship" colonialism fiction dna shining thru

“you little streak” <3

"she'll move on" "not shaun, he'll go to that alleyway every year..." \ten at the alleyway to see rose parallel....

Ghost aroma!!!

blue and orange motif....…………… 13 aesthetic moments.... [13 and Swarm coded? / aka entropy/life coded?/donna and the doc...]

“maybe there's a tribe and they worship it… (…) time passes and the city falls... and there's the tardis" beautiful!! I'm could do somth w/ re: w/ the doctor and their companions. (eyes emoji)

"it got complicated" UNDERSTATEMENT OF A CENTURY #2

"The notion of shape is strange." "it limits" literally current architecture theory

This is so nofna solar system-core

love a classic “anti matter hates matter” story

[the no-bodies…?....cousins to the the could have been king ... with his army of never wheres…?]

This feels very [doctor trying to figure out their body in each regeneration] [intentionally?] this is so end of evangelion poster-core

"it’s strange enough my face coming back, but not this big" / [metaphor for reboots?]

This episode is like the clamoring for us to get a castrovalva 2 escher-like world again next season

"that's not gonna work either" i love these idiots

"why does it have to be one last trip?" rtd ringing moffat / gatiss / gardner / etc and being like like -

ok but follow this reasoning: if the doctor is the same person bc they keep their memories (as the show makes a point of.... constantly) ... and if the memories make the person ... then indeed an entity that copies the memories is the same person, is it not? Where do we draw the line between who’s “real” and who isn’t, in this scenario?

A CREATION I DEVASTATED / literally watched WoM two seconds before this w/ ten all "everything i do just makes it happen" sdjsdkf this is what i mean when i say the doctor has never Processed anythingggg since that Bottom Pit moment

"it wasn't your fault" "i know! (but it stil sucks!!!)" me at therapy like

"WHY DOES HE NEED YOU?" me, Pavlovian tone: because he is lonely...

“when something is gone, it keeps existing” → highlight this!!!! this is gonna be the new thesis statement about Grief!!! this is gonna be The Point for the next 4 years lol

It's very fun to watch this after marath6ning all of ten's era bc it's like... that boy never processed any of that shit. did 11 process shit? did 12? 12 maybe a little but really i think they just got even more trauma (bill ): ) dkdksks and don't get me started on 13. basically what im saying is the doctor Never did get a break on between waters of mars up until now... [and i guess to go further never did get a break after since like....... freaking ghost light skskskskkjkj seven is still There. we don't think about that enough.]

Donna being a clone fucker is not a headcanon ever thought i had but im glad its been confirmed now "donma doesn't think she"s stupid" im sure rtd has launched this exact same rant on so some unwilling family members while browsing ao3 "stop copying and make up your own minds" social commentary / commentary on reboots again / core "individualism > society" dr. who 101 messaging

The not things are kinda.... cute? skdksk if they weren't murderous they look like ppl to hang out w/ and play videogames......

"what do you want?" "you tell us" fundamental doctor-companion dialogue....

"love letters don't travel very far" put a pin on that...

ok.... ARGHGHGHH LET ME THINK THINK THINK skskks me failing at CBT be like

What if the doctor is from our universe. what then the doctor being like we have to mill ourselves immediately feels very 13

this is like "what if turn left and midnight but they go through it together this time <3" fic "where the walls are thin and anything is possible" eyes emoji

"that copy was 99% donna" so maybe re:earlier... what the show is saying between copy vs real is that it's all about the x factor, the 1%....

CONCLUSIONS! lived up to the hype! i think it's a bit 13-era vibe in that it's clearly influenced by all the prestige space-base-isolation scifi we see in the ~cinema now every year. the aesthetic is hitting that vibe (and going to the root, there's also a very clear Alien influence). kinda wish we had more one offs just like this one :( bc i feel the other 2 specials have too much Work to do, so there's not enough time to do.Fun like lore and character stuff. Execution wise is very successful. the switcheroos work. the callbacks work. there's a lot of character stuff happening ("I just realized I'm still working through that!") but it doesn't interfere w/ the adventure itself. My one grip is there's a couple shots that do feel too green-screen-y, but overall the ep is visually amazing. def only a story you could do now. also I love that the NMDs were like "rtd is gonna retcon the timeless child!!! everyone hated it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and he was like "cool. now watch this" lollll king moments. rare moments where it feels like we live in the best timeline.

[nico-esoterica]

tw: mentions of sexual abuse and trauma

More on Diddy - He's currently in a 7H profection and will be entering an 8H one this year. News about everything w/ him kicked off around his birthday in '23. So this tells me that house ruler was obviously significant and the repercussions following flow into the 8th. That house, natally, also deals with where we feel shame. Having planets in the 8H exacerbates it. It can translate into shame over one's identity, emotions, sexuality, beliefs, etc. Exceptions of this will be if the ruler's dignified in some way by sect, triplicity, etc.

Since he's known for inflicting intense sexual abuse and trauma, imo, this is sometimes due to similar trauma experienced. Refusing to break a cycle, but that's speculative on my part. W/o that, in the chart of a sexual abuser (remember it's the PERSON--the chart provides the framework if it applies), it leads me to think there's 7th and 8th house issues. In Sasha Grey's chart, a former adult entertainment star, she had 8H planets and suffered abuse in that industry.

This isn't to say 8H planets INHERENTLY mean this. Plenty of people lead happy lives with them. But the relationship between the 7th and 8th house translates in a mundane sense to what we transactionally owe or are 'owed.' This is why there's many cases of people who inherit money being in 8H profection year when a family member passes (derivative 5th from the 4th--a child receiving benefits). And in other cases, those transactions translate emotionally into someone's boundaries being eroded through abuse and coercion. This is why w/ 8H synastry, there's this feeling of one or both parties involved feeling as if they have 'power over the other.' That dynamic can be healing and welcomed or oppressive.

When this translates physically, this is where sexual abuse can be on the table. Because an abuser who's familiar with power dynamics can use them to their advantage. The eclipses last year clue us in. This is why I'm reconsidering if he's an Aries or Taurus rising because it'd shift that Libra-Scorpio emphasis to his 6th and 7th or 7th and 8th. But I personally feel as if he has 8H planets because it'd better illustrate the image of him being this monster who drags beautiful women away into the depths to 'punish' them for being beautiful and out of his reach via abuse and unspeakable horrors. Both Diddy and Cassie have a Venus-Venus conjunction in Libra. And since the SN in Libra is playing a major role here, this tells me that that sign was impacted for her and trapped in his chart somewhere.

Under threat of blackmail and further violence (death included), there's a contract in place. In an Aries Rising chart for Diddy, this would place her in his 7th. Since it's on an angle, it'd paint the public image of being very visible to those around him and it'd fit because her Virgo Sun would be in his 6H of work and it's known that that's how their relationship appeared at first/on the surface. But in her progressed chart it'd move her to a Scorpio Venus and would fall in his 8th. Meaning it starting off as a work relationship turned romantic/sexual one and it being abusive or starting off that way when she thought it'd be something different. So Aries Rising def fits. Esp with a late (double dignified) Mars in Capricorn looking down on his empire in his 10H and having free reign to harm others irreparably as he sees fit. Elevated in the 10th, he'd be super protected unless the rulers of his 12th or 7th (jupiter and venus) are under threat in his houses relating to enemies. I def wanna elaborate on this more later.

And if we look at it from this angle, it means that the upcoming Saturn and Neptune transits moving into Aries can put him under fire. But idk about a 1H Neptune transit. I like the idea of Pluto transiting his 12th for a Pisces rising permanently knocking him out.

My thoughts on this will develop.