#like regular saber is pretty cute in general

[foxstens]

emiya gohan....

[agoddamn]

When did "hyperspace lanes" become a thing, anyway? I get that they're there to be a proxy for traditional territory grabs because the war we're familiar with does not map well to space (I've gone on about this before, cough), but I don't remember them in the movies. I vaguely remember "hyperspace corridor" being tossed around in the EU pre-TCW, but I always got the impression that those were more rough delineations of popular/traversible routes than something you can blockade and hold

Wasn't the test in the Domino Squad ep called the Citadel?

"He's picking and choosing which assignments I can be a part of!" Yes, Ahsoka... that's basic decision-making??

Plo has a logo on his vambrace like Obi-Wan. Sasae Tiin does, too

"It's not his decision when and how I put my life in danger; it should be my choice." Well, the one running the op gets to assess who's gonna be the most useful on the op. Aside from that, though, does the concept of being a minor literally not exist in Star Wars? It would... explain a lot

How on earth did Ahsoka tag along when there were a limited number of freezing machines

This whole episode having the mood of "oh, that willful Ahsoka!" rather than "you compromised this operation and people are dead" is why I don't entertain the "muh child soldiers" argument for more than a second; everything so blatantly runs on kids' show logic where teenagers do all sorts of deadly things because they're marketable

While Ahsoka's explaining herself, Obi-Wan chats with Cody in the background :3c

There's, what...Fives, Echo, Rex, Cody and two or three redshirts here?

The stiff disappointment in Cody's voice at "no jetpacks"

I like how Obi-Wan doesn't have to stop dangling off the edge because this motherfucker has no neck

As someone who's squeezed into small pipes before it's goddamn nerve-wracking. Ahsoka is very chill about all this

RIP Charger

...so it doesn't even matter that Ahsoka snuck them in if they immediately trip the alarm

Oh, there's more redshirts here than I thought

For like half a second when Anakin said "take out security" I thought they'd brought a slicer clone but the guy just fucking shoots a camera, lmao why did I think it would be anything else

RIP Longshot

Huh. It's Cody that stops for Longshot and Obi-Wan who tells him they have to go

>Cody tackles an assassin droid

IS YOUR GUN DECORATIVE??

Rare specific mention of officers, with all of them in one cell. Sucks to be the 99% non-officer crew complement, though

I love that deactivation shit is EXACTLY like KOTOR where someone just has their saber clip into it and uhhh sure that's "off"

"It's going to be impossible to escape" wow, what a quitter

RIP another 212th guy. He's half the man he used to be

In contrast to the usual assumption that Jedi are soft and ignorant, Piell here is...actually pretty OPERATOR. Made the best choices to protect the mission, pushed for the better escape route, never stops to bitch. Poor bastard, being stuck with Tarkin

I like how I can't stand this droid comedy but I find the HK factory hilarious

...the droid calls Artoo Commander. Does Artoo have rank? Is he an officer? I wouldn't put it past Anakin

SHIIIIIELD

Literally the most effective small arms setup in Star Wars and I bet we never see it again

RIP 212th rando #3. They gave up naming the cannon fodder after Longshot I suppose

Ahsoka looks like she has a natural inclination for gymnastics...and maybe a worse sense of smell? Everyone else in here is holding their nose

Tarkin why the fuck are you whining about the Jedi not being hardass enough when you literally have the most operator general, what the fuck

I like how I'm supposed to be extra sad about this dead clone when at least four guys have already bit it with no ceremony. Within thirty seconds Anakin is making quips about big explosions; there might have been a picture of a blasted helmet, but the narrative is untouched by death. A clone dying is not a big enough deal for the narrative to get somber over, so why should I care?

Oh so THIS is where that gif of Cody jumping on the droid and shooting it out from under his own feet is from

RIP to two or three more dudes, though at least one was in greys

Plo has these neat engravings on his rebreather. It's a nice touch, for an assistive device that's a regular part of life to get decorated like a regular part of life

"What if your Jedi friends aren't there when we arrive?" Then you die, like you were going to ANYWAY, fucking hell you're a whiner

"either way, he is a good captain" no he the fuck ain't, keeping up morale is part of being a leader. Has one of Piell's clones even spoken? They've died, but they didn't get to talk

These guys are talking like they found out they're sharing the same sugar daddy

RIP one...two? more of Piell's guys. Couldn't tell if that second one got back up after Piell jumped in front of him

There's two grays left, which means--wait, one of them is Tarkin

THEY WIPED OUT MY WHOLE SQUAD: 卌 ||||

... and the last gray dies for Tarkin. Imagine getting captured, probably tortured, and then dying in the extraction zone to save Tarkin

Oh wait, Fives deserves a tick too (you know, to the best of his knowledge)

THEY WIPED OUT MY WHOLE SQUAD: 卌卌

Touching moral about how sometimes you force your way into a mission you're not qualified for out of ego and damn near everyone dies but you're now the most important part of the mission! Wew

Oh wow, is there one more grey left alive after all? The little clone that could. No, I shouldn't jinx him...

So, to recap: the objectives were to recover Piell and stop the Separatists from getting the coordinates

Piell is dead

Piell's entire officer complement save the world's biggest cockmunch is dead

All of the clone strike team aside from the battalion leaders and Fives are dead

You lost like fifteen guys, including a Jedi, and recovered three people, none of whom were who you were sent to rescue

But they got the coordinates...I guess...

:Wilhelm:

Coburn is Plo's admiral?

Oh my GOD the Plo's Bros noseart is so cute

I like how they're talking about how Anakin and Tarkin are brilliant military men and there's zero mention of how much of this shit got carried by Piell

Is this show...strawmanning...itself?

[ssnakey-b]

FF8 English-French translarison, part 23: Battle of the Gardens

Welcome back, everyone! We are nearing the end of the CD2 content and beginning one of my favourite parts of the game: the Battle of the Gardens.

And immediately we’ve got some interesting stuff as the dialogue between Nida and Squall:

In English, Nida asks “The sorceress is with them, huh? So this is going to be the final battle?”. However, French Nida is more assured, stating “The witch is with them. This is going to be the ultimate battle.”

Also, as you may have noticed, we once again have an example of the French version going back and forth between using the words “sorcière” (witch/sorceress),  prêtresse” (priestess) and most confusingly, “nécromancienne” (necromancer) for Edea/Ultimecia. I know the English verison sometimes uses “witch” instead of “sorceress” as well, but the French version really likes to change what it calls them, although it does usually settle on “prêtresse”.

Anyway, back to the dialogue, English Squall replies with “I hope so,” but again the reply is quite different as he says “(yes, for whom?)” and indeed, it’s between parenthesis, implying he’s muttering it to himself, and making it very clear that he fully expects at least one of them to die.

Next, in English, Squall wonders “What should I do first? I have to give orders to everybody. It’s my responsibility.” in the French version, he’s more straightforward, thinking “I have to distribute tasks and give everyone orders.” Gotta say, I do like the way the English version emphasize Squall’s sense of duty a little more.

Geesh, we’re still on the first screen and we have yet more stuff to cover when it comes to Squall’s orders:

First, in English, Squall is pretty solemn about Seifer being there, as he says “As you may all know, Seifer is with them. I plan to settle everything, once and for all, with this battle.” French Squall is being a lot less cute about it, saying “One of us, Seifer, is fighting on the enemy’s side. Count on me to eliminate this traitor.” DAMN, French Squall ain’t fucking around!

Next, we have a bit of a strange difference in... lore, I guess? In English, Squall orders “1st and 2nd class Sabers” to go in the parking lot. In French, however, he orders the “grenadiers” to do so, which is rather odd for two reasons. First, as far as I’m aware, SeeD doesn’t use grenades (which would seem redundant hen you have magic anyway), and explosives seem to be more Galbadia’s speciality. And second, “grenadiers” as a specific unit isn’t a thing in the French army any more, and is usually associated with Napoleonic times, so that’s a bit of strange reference. Of course, I guess it could be kind of a non-literal term and refer to fire magic specialists.

Next, while giving orders to protect the quad and main entrance, English Squall splits the students between even and odd ID numbers. In French, it’s a bit more complicated, as he tells the “first year students” to get the quad, and the “candidates” to get to the entrance. I’m guessing “first year students” refers to new SeeD graduates and “candidates” to the ones nearing the end who can apply for the final exam but haven’t graduated yet.

Or maybe it’s kind of the opposite, and “first-year student” means people who just entered the cursus to join SeeD (as opposed to younger students who are getting a general education) and “candidates” are again the ones eligible for the final exam. Not that I really have any evidence backing it up either way. :P

And similarly, instead of telling students with an ID ending with 8 (which id a bit confusing considering he already gave students with even-numbered ID orders) to take care of the junior classmen, in French, they do follow through on the previous orders by having Squall tell the second year students to do so.

After the girls and Irvine tell Squall Zell is sleeping, English Squall is quite disbelieving an asks them whet they’re talking about. And in French, he’s actually extra snarky by asking “Are you kidding me right now?”.

And after Quistis says it’s their little secret, instead of wondering “... What’s he doing? We don’t have any time!”, he wonders “Are they drunk or something?”. Seriously, French Squall is so done with anyone’s bullshit.

Here’s one of the more amusing ones. In English, this guy says his status is “Indirect magic operative, level 2″. In French however, he says he’s in charge of... the film club. Now it’s clearly not meant to be a joke, I just find the contrast between the two version funny in this case.

Also, in English, Squall makes him a 1st class MG, as in Major General, presumably, which seems quite a high rank for someone whose background Squall doesn’t know (especially since I’m not even sure that’s how SeeD ranks work but whatever). In French, it seems a bit more plausible as he tells the guy “From now on, you’re the section B lieutenant”.

One thing I do like about the guy being in charge of the film club in the French version is how it shows how suddenly these kids’ lives can change in an instant in this game’s universe. It’s clear that for the most part, education in Balamb Garden is fairly standards, so one minute you could be minding your own business, hanging out with friend, engaging in normal high-school activities when suddenly bam! War gets dumped on you and you gotta adapt or die. Pretty of scary when you think about it.

There’s also a slight difference with these three guys. In English, the boys are part of the “Fire Platoon”, which make me wonder if it means they use guns (which again seems odd for Balamb Garden, but maybe it’s a thing) and the girl is a medic.

In French, however, one of the boys is explicitly a gunner (so I guess it really IS a thing), the other boy is a “nurse-fireman” (because one of these jobs just isn’t stressful enough on its own apparently) and the girl is a regular nurse.

Either way, I always loved Squall thinking quickly under pressure and making sure everyone has a role. It’s funny, there are many high-ranking (para-)military characters in video games, but it’s the only time I recall one actually acting like a leader.

The talk with Zell goes pretty much the same in both versions, I just find it funny that in English, Squall goes out of his way to encourage Zell & co by saying “Zell, I’m counting on you. Good luck, everyone.” whereas in French, he is much more laconic, merely saying “Good luck.”

Probably the smallest difference I’ll mention, but still an interesting one. In English, after the Galbadian forces invade, Squall tells the quad team to watch out. In French, he tells all “BGU Soldiers” to get ready. Both make sense, though I do like Squall giving more specific orders in English a little more. It gives the sense that he’s observing everything from the bridge and uses that to his advantage for tactical decisions.

Here’s another funny one. After Squall tells Zell to do whatever it takes to rescue Linoa, English Zell replies “Leave it to me!”. In French however, he seems less confident as what he says literally translates to “(Poor me!)” and it’s basically him going “(Oh, boy)”. This is especially funny when coupled with his confident-looking chest pat. I love the moment that imply that Zell is often not nearly as assured as he looks, but he puts on a brave face as to not demoralize his teammates.

Back in the headmaster’s office, where Kadowaki is once again proving herself to be the best NPC in gaming history by taking charge instead of Cid, there’s another amusing difference. In both versions, she tells Squall that it’s his destiny to fight Seifer, but while she’s pretty straightforward about it in French, I love that in English, she goes “It’s kind of like your destiny to face him”. Yeah, sort of or whatever. Look, just go kick his ass.

Another Irvine speech, another surprisingly big difference.

English:

Listen... Do me a favor. YOU... go help Rinoa. It may be too late, but don’t give up until you’re CERTAIN that there’s nothing more you can do!

French:

No way you can just leave her like that! Nobody abandons such a pretty girl, as long as there’s really nothing left to do...

By the way, that awkward phrasing at the end (as it should have been “UNTIL there’s really nothing left to do”) is indeed present in the actual text, so don’t blame it on me! And generally speaking I do like the English take on it better, especially as he goes “YOU help Linoa”. It’s like he’s saying “look, you gave the orders, we know what to do, but if YOU don’t rescue her, no-one can”.

And it really goes to show that in spite of the image he wants to give of himself, Irvine is surprisingly thoughtful. He knows Squall won’t be able to forgive himself if he doesn’t try to rescue Linoa, even if someone else rescued her, he’d feel like shit for not going for her.

There’s also a bit of an odd quirk in the English version a bit later, as Quistis says “we’ll clear a path. Once Squall arrives, we’ll move in.” which is a bit weird considering she’s talking to Squall. Even if you want to say she’s speaking to the group as a whole, it’s still a bit strange, especially as she’s still looking right at him. In French, she does address him directly saying “We’ll clear the path. Don’t worry about us.”

And so we get to Squall’s speech and while it’s very moving, I want you all to picture Linoa dangling off the side of Balamb Garden the whole time. Anyway, the first half of it is actually very similar in both versions. But then things get quite different:

English:

SeeD was formed to fight the sorceress; at least, that’s what I heard. And Garden was created to train SeeDs. So this battle is Garden’s destiny and also our destiny. It’s a grueling battle, and I’m sure you guys are all exhausted. But I don’t want to have any regrets. I don’t want anyone to look back and regret this day. So just this once, I want you guys to give everything you’ve got! For yourselves and for me!

French:

The battle we fight has many things at stake: everyone’s life, of course, but also the future of BGU and our democracy! This is why I ask each of you for one more push, non just for yourselves, but for everyone else. I count on you! I ask you to do your maximum, for you and for others.

And finally, I don’t know about you, but this is the moment I’ve been looking for. After Squall goes all tsundere on Linoa and claims him saving her was purely professional because they have a contract and it was everybody else’s idea and ti was a coincidence anyway and it’s not like I keep saving you because I like you or anything, so don’t get the wrong idea, baka, we get some small differences at first.

For example, while throwing Zell under the bus, instead of “Zell gave it to me, see? I’ve been holding on to it”, she says “Zell gave it to me. That was nice of him, wasn’t it?”. Rest assure that Squall swears to kill him either way. Also, I really like the animation of Squall’s shoulders tensing up and him rolling his neck while he thinks that. I don’t remember seeingt hat specific animation anywhere else either, so I lvoe that they gave him one for that of all things.

Also also, in both versions, he specifies that it’s his favourite ring, implying he owns many more. Behold Pimp Squall, blowing his cadet allowance on bling. Oh and while in English, he adds “You’d better give it back,” he doesn’t say that in French, which is yet another small detail that makes him come across a bit nicer in the French version.

People also noted that on top of lions in the FF8 universe not resembling our Earth lions, Linoa sounds out the the word like she’s never heard of it before, implying they’re fairly obscure mythical creatures. Well, that doesn’t happen in French and thinking about it, that’s a bit of a shame as that is an interesting subtle bit of lore.

But the question is: does this L I O N of his have a name? Sure does:

Yep, Griever is known as Cronos in French, tying it back to the time theme. Oddly, it’s lacking an H to really fit, so it might be a reference to the king of Titans as well.

So in both versions, Linoa says that it’s such an accident that people might think they’re together once she gets a copy of Squall’s ring. But what’ interesting is the specific terms used:

In English, she says “That’d be crazy, huh!? I mean, everyone might, y’know, get the wrong idea about us.”

In French, she says “The problem is that everyone will think we’re together!”

What makes this seemingly small difference have such significance is how it leads to Squall’s reply a bit later as in English, he tells Rinoa “You sound like you want everyone to get the wrong idea.” teasing her a bit while kind of calling her out.

In French however, it take son a whole other meaning as he says “I don’t know if it’s really a problem...”

And this to me really sounds like Squall openly admitting that he does have romantic feelings for Linoa. After all, why else would a guy like him be okay with people spreading rumours about him being with a girl? If nothing else, he’s certainly admitting that he’s comfortable being paired up with her by people and that he’s got some things to work out once the battle is over.

Oh and Linoa’s reaction in each version also speaks volume about what Squall just said. In English, she just vehemently denies being up to anything, going “No-no-no-no-no!”. In French, she seems much more flustered, going “Huh? What... What do you mean?”

We’ve got one last difference to end on. And once again, it’s quite a meaningful one. It happens as Squall ends yet another rousing speech. In English, it goes like this:

Squall: “We’ve come this far. I guess there no need for me to say anything.”

Rinoa: “We’re still listening. Squall, we want to know how you feel.”

Squall: “I’ll tell you later... After we all get out of this. Let’s go.”

In French, it goes like this (note that Squall uses the pronoun “tu”, showing he’s addressing Linoa specifically):

Squall: My little memories don’t interest you, huh?

Linoa: Of course they do! Tell me what you really think.

Squall: I’ll tell you that, if we’re still alive after this trial. Let’s go!

I find it very interesting that Squall make sit more personal here, by talking to Linoa directly. It’s a good way for him to tall the rest of the orphanage gang that they can’t put the rest of humanity in jeopardy because of their childhood memories.

But really, I like this part in both versions. And in both, you once again have Squall basically admit that he wants to get closer to Linoa. So even if you don’t take it as a love confession, then it certainly shows that he wants to figure out how exactly he feels about her, that he definitely wants their relationship to be more than professional, and that he intends to work out how far he wants it to go. And on top of that, it’s also a good motivator for her to give it all she’s got. “Don’t you die on me, I’ve got stuff to tall you about.”

Hhhaaa, I really enjoyed that one! And I hope you did too. Next time, it’s the second and final battle against Edea, the end of the CD2 content and the beginning of a new battle. In the meantime, feel free to ask questions, either by replying to this post or through my “ask” thing, or to just make comments or add your two cents. I always love to see people���s reactions and their own interpretations of various elements. And it would be really nice if you could give this post a reblog to help spread awareness. I know some people think their own blog is too small for it to matter but I assure you, every reblog helps.

See you around for part 24!

[thomasroach]

Monster Hunter World: All Guild Card Titles

The post Monster Hunter World: All Guild Card Titles appeared first on Fextralife.

Ever wondered how many titles are available in Monster Hunter World? Wonder no longer as this guide will list and detail how to obtain all the titles for your guild card.

Monster Hunter World: All Guild Card Titles

Players of Monster Hunter World can enjoy some extra fun by customizing their Guild Card with countless titles. Guild Cards can be customized by editing their titles, backgrounds, greeting, sticker, equipment, and poses. They play a small role in the realm of Monster Hunter World allowing hunters to give them out to players they have met.

First & Third Slot titles

Available from the beginning:

(None)

Newbie

First Year

Beginner

Fledgling

Rookie

Hunter

Fisher

Fighter

Sniper

Sword

Rapier

Blade

Great Sword

Lance

Spear

Hammer

Mallet

Dual Blades

Twin Swords

Light Bowgun

Crossbow

Heavy Bowgun

Ballista

Katana

Long Sword

Arrow

Bow

Gunlance

Blast Pike

Horn

Flute

Hatchet

Switch Axe

Glaive

Staff

Halberd

Charge Blade

Squad

Now Recruiting

Newcomer

Helper

Courageous

Meowster

Ms.

Knightly Order

Hunting Crew

Man

Girl

He

Me

Lone Wolf

Love

Stranger

Thrilling

Exciting

Solo

Duo

Trio

Party

Potion

Honey

Red

Blue

Green

Promising

Klutzy

Third-rate

Offense

Defense

On Sale Now!

First Fleet

Second Fleet

Third Fleet

Fourth Fleet

Fifth Fleet

New World

Commission

Good

Bad

Expedition

A-Lister

Scoutfly

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Romance

Lemon

Head

Mask

Body

Mail

Vambraces

Guard

Waist

Coat

Leggings

Boots

Armor

Assassin

Grand

Buster

Strider

Saber

Slayer

Brave

First-Class

24/7

Self

Anima

Pure

(Self-)Trained

Instructor

Exaordinaire

Trooper

Adventurer

Frontier

Miss

Cheery

Oasis

Protector

Arcadia

Buddy

White

Black

Shadow

Gloom

Dark

Jade

Pink

Crimson

Vermillion

Yellow

Rainbow

Shiny

Ravine

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Raw

Rough

Family

Stubborn

Amphibious

Fang

Youngster

Shot

Debonair

Proven

Fresh

Ultraviolet

Unforgiven

Capable

Phoenix

Prodigy

Genius

Dashing

Vanguard

Amnesiac

Mushroom

Nectar

Vale Tudo

Diversion Team

Pied Piper

Gunslinger

Angler

Berserker

Mercenary

Assault

Bride

Rambling

Eagle Eye

Soldier

Entomologist

Bomber

War

Killer Bee

Bearer

Tragedy

Sweet

Tomorrow

Papa

Battalion

Peach

Diet

Army

Foreman

Original

Amateur

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Leader

Ace

Limitless

Veteran

Raid

Cleave

Melody

Cannon

Mutant

Spinning

Dancing

Stalwart

Romantic

Shooting Star

Quickdraw

Beautiful

Nostalgic

Powerful

Unrivaled

Kid

Dude

Best

Lucky

Challenge

Fleet

Lady

Mr.

New Land

Relaxing

Monthly

Artisan

First

Armed

Cunning

Punk

Technician

If Only

Painful

Slowpoke

Advanced

Pro

Beloved

Devoured

Hard-Boiled

Masterful

Giga

Strawberry

Cute

Nearly

Pretty

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Lord

Shinobi Freedom

Dream

Altair

Kunoichi

Vega

Vagrant

Iron

Breaker

Samurai

Model

Traveler

Slash

Wing

Break

All

Weapon

Anonymous

Fan

Crisis

Heroine

Finest

Natural

Heartthrob

Boy

So-called

Tiny

Former

Casual

Madam

Professor

Winner

Loser

Fever

Coward

Skilled

Singed

Beast

Free

Chicken

Bug

Silent

Kinda

Treasure

Full-Auto

Compound

First-Time

Soft

Fate

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Tail

Shaker

Sheathed

Headshot

Coordinated

Hardcore

Exacting

Divine

Very Stubborn

Salvo

Surefire

Strategist

Eco

Ebon

Unlucky

Slim

Unbelievable

Story

Cataclysm

Ore

Messy

Value

Derring-do

Country

Petit

End of an Era

Sealed

Graduate

Specialty

Apprentice

Neo

Sister

Acrobatic

Maiden Name

Myself

Walker

Alchemist

Thief

Captive

Mining Master

Transporter

Guardian

Grizzled

Safari

Trolley

Minion

Experienced

Mecha

Brand-new

Researcher

Reach hunter rank 100

Complete

Sage

Perfect

Ruler

Big Bang

Blademaster

Beastmaster

All-or-nothing

Indiscriminating

Machine Crew

One-shot

Gamble

Prism

Faint

Cocky

Exclusive

Team

Mostly

Reborn

Wonderful

Viva

Pseudo

Disciple

Not for Sale

Radiant

Beauty

(Temporary)

Ripe

Favorite

Squishy

Darling

Charmer

Big

Intermittent

Max

Fishmaster

Rodeo

Excellent

Regular

Stroll

Love-struck

At First Sight

Luv

Roving

Rare

Second-rate

Mascot

Partner

Like

Popular

Reach hunter rank 250

As Always!

Sufferer

Agent

Riled-up

Shuddering

Terra

Archdemon

Requiem

Ballad

Marvelous

Dauntless

Bushido

Avenger

Double

Hilarious

Role Model

Class Leader

President

Exhausted

Indestructible

Royal

Blushing

Chaos

Retired Number

Of All Time

Sexy

Awesome

Flex

Unbeaten

All-out

Joy

Group

No. 1

Mrs.

Born

Nameless

Giant

Sorta

Mini

Lad

Syndrome

Anti

Crew

Captain

Passion

Special

Half

Respect

Bargain

Mega

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Legend

Champion

Hero

Clear

Reincarnated

Strongest

Top-class

Unparalleled

Jet-black

Emperor

Robot

Baby

Gorgeous

Short

Foremost

Anger

Life

Witch

Person

Forbidden

Snowflake

Famed

Long

Audacious

Extreme

Constant

Gourmet

Maid

Magistrate

Weakling

Unthinkable

Huh

Macho

Research Team

Campaigner

Scholar

Bounty

Illusion

Intelligent

Sapphire Star

Blinding

Ultra

Disappointing

Human

Smart

Hunt

Flower

Right-hand

Men

Women

Super

Complimentary

Alias

Hope

Pioneer

Freed

Knight

General

Imperial

Supreme

Crack

Opportunistic

God

Terror

Squire

Mettle

Karma

Star

Dragon

Czar

Fearless

Brand

Drink

Egg

Dumpling

Friendly

Hunt-crazy

Monster Hunter

Nailed it

Tempered

Trailblazer

Challenger

BFF

Vibe

Tracker

Titan

Observer

Mission

Go

Handler

Quirk

Fly

Miracle

Fantasy

Chockablock

Big Sis

Specimen

Smitten

Aerial Battle

Charming

Reach hunter rank 999

Monster

World

Top

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Rathian

Rathian Hunted

Land Hunted

Duchess Hunted

Wyvern Princess Hunted

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Pink Rathian

Cherry Blossom

Valkyrie

Queen

Graceful

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Rathalos

Rathalos

Skies

Prince

King

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Azure Rathalos

Azure

Sapphire

Soul

Regent

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Diablos

Diablos

Berserk

Desert

Horned

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Black Diablos

Violent

Piercing

Devil

Demon

Slay 10, 15, 20, and 30 Kirin

Kirin

Stormy

Thunder

Flash

Slay 10, 15, 20, and 30 Kushala Daora

Kushala

Gale

Cyclone

Soaring

Slay 10, 15, 20, and 30 Teostra

Teo

Shimmering

Kaiser

Flame Emperor

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Lavasioth

Lavasioth

Amber

Magma

Red-hot

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Barroth

Barroth

Charge

Tyrant

Strong

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Uragaan

Uragaan

Destruction

Rolling

Sledgehammer

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Anjanath

Anjanath

Bully Hunted

Wild Hunted

Brute Wyvern

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Great Jagras

Great Jagras

Gluttonous

Gobbling

Shaggy

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Pukei-Pukei

Pukei-Pukei

Venomous

Pop

Teacher

Slay 10, 15, 20, and 30 Nergigante

Nergigante

Power

Rebirth

Consume

Slay 10, 15, 20, and 30 Xeno’jiiva

Xeno’jiiva

Winged

Energy

Honcho

Guide Zorah Magdaros

Zorah

Volcano

Advance

Colossal

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Kulu-Ya-Ku

Kulu-Ya-Ku

Burglar

Dexterous

Raptor

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Jyuratodus

Jyuratodus

Mud

Water

Owner

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Tobi-Kadachi

Tobi-Kadachi

Fulgur

Flying Squirrel

Agile

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Paolumu

Paolumu

Balloon

Floaty

Pearly

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Legiana

Legiana

Elegant

Speedster

Twister

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Great Girros

Great Girros

Ravenous

Fear Hunted

Paralyzing

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Odogaron

Odogaron

Watchdog

Predator

Fierce

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Radobaan

Radobaan

Bone

Spiral

Thorns

Slay 10, 15, 20, and 30 Vaal Hazak

Vaal Hazak

Zombie

Corpse

Destination

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Dodogama

Dodogama

Drill

Dignity

Bold

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Bazelgeuse

Bazelgeuse

Trickster

Trouble

Raider

Hunt 20, 30, 40, and 50 Tzitzi-Ya-Ku

Tzitzi-Ya-Ku

Flashy

Spotlight

Mirror

Hunt 50 Tempered Monsters

Adept

Commander

Charisma

Slay 50 Elder Dragons

Valiant

Mythic

Legendary

Already

Feral

Comet

Hunt 100 Large Monsters

Maniac

Tough

Enraged

Hunt 500 Large Monsters

Master

Fairy-tale

Unprecedented

Complete a quest in the Ancient Forest

Ancient Tree

Forest

Complete a quest in the Wildspire Waste

Wildspire

Wastes

Complete a quest in the Coral Highlands

Coral

Highlands

Complete a quest in the Rotten Vale

Rotten

Vale

Complete a quest in the Elder’s Recess

Elder

Recess

Complete 50 optional quests

Liberty

Guide

Guidance

Complete 50 Investigations

Seeker

Knowledgeable

Fair Wind

Complete 10, 30, and 50 Arena Quests

Black Belt

Arena

Chosen

Expert

Hardened

Decidedly

Gladiator

Glory

Admired

Respond to 10 SOS and complete the quest

Backup

Great

Interceptor

Complete 100 Multiplayer Quests

Comrade

Friend

Lonely

Collect 50 Guild Cards

Bond

Spread

Link

Recruit a Tailraider

Tailraider

Stray

Meow

Grimalkyne

Gajalaka

Obtain 100,000 research points

Insect

Plant

PhD

Earn 1 million zenny

Tycoon

Celebrity

Resort

Acquire 5 pieces of Rarity 8 gear

Gear

Obsession

Quintessential

Arm

Collector

Lofty

Join a Squad

Sensei

Prime

Business

Active-duty

Sweetheart

Real

Troupe

Princess

My

Trendy

Heir

Famous

Killer

Telepathic

Unmovable

Eternal

Service

History

Final

Homemade

Warrior

Archer

Bug-catcher

Farmer

Book

Dapper

Curmudgeon

Maiden

Moxie

Grillmaster

Fisherman

Tracks

Item

Prize

Specialist

Skill

Using

Wobbly

Rider

Schemer

Hide-and-Seek

Well-done

White Wind

Participate in the Kulve Taroth Siege

Kulve Taroth

Hoard

Exhilarating

Highly Prized

Obtain from Deviljho Update

Deviljho

Demonic

Destroy

Invader

Obtain from Lunastra Update

Lunastra

Flame

Regal

Incandescent

Obtain from Horizon Zero Dawn PS4 Collaboration

Zero Dawn

Override

Machine

Nora Tribe

Outcast

Obtain from USJ Collaboration

Universal

Studios

Wonder

World’s

Cool Japan

Obtain from Street Fighter V Collaboration

Rival

Destined

Living Legend

Bandana

K.O.

Obtain from Devil May Cry Collaboration

Stylish

Must Die

Ebony

Ivory

Force Edge

Obtain from Mega Man Collaboration

Dr.

E-Tank

Classic

Rush

Rock n’ Roll

Complete “A Visitor from Eorzea (Extreme)”

Warrior of Light Completed

Slay Behemoth to complete the Final Fantasy XIV Collaboration

Fantasy

Crystal

Dragoon

Behemoth

XIV

Obtain Bayek Layered armor or Assassin’s Hood from the Assassin Creed Collaboration

Origins

Assassins

Bayek

Scarab

Pharaoh

Stealth

Slay a Leshen from The Witcher 3 Collaboration

Witcher

Geralt

Ciri

Leshen

White Wolf

Igni

Solved all of the mysteries in Contract: Trouble in the Ancient Forest

Wild Hunt

Partake in the Spring Blossom Fest

Spring

Bloom

March

April

May

Partake in the Summer Twilight Fest

Summer

Ocean

June

July

August

Partake in the Autumn Harvest Fest

Autumn

Pumpkin

September

October

November

Partake in the Winter Star Fest

Winter

Snow

December

January

February

Partake in the Appreciation Fest

Anniversary

One Year

Congrats

Celebrate

Birthday

Second Slot titles

(None)

By

An

For

And

Plus

On

With

Is

No

To

From

Per

Who

What

When

Are

Why

His

Her

Upon

Our

Your

Until

But

Colored

Lacking

Shrouded

Called

Dancer

Swift

Town

City

Using

Looking

Gang

Devotee

Type

Ally

Or

Boss

Assistant

Teacher

Limited

Occasional

Vs.

Worker

Fusion

Minus

Circle

In

Of

Less

The

At

Around

Across

Division

&

+

–

x

?

!

=

~

.

/

:

€

$

★

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

α

β

γ

Except

Meaning

If

Pre

Post

Only

During

Again

Also

Since

Use

So

Very

Wait

Try

☆

Just

Hate

Else

Besides

If you enjoyed this guide be sure to check out next Monster Hunter World: All Guild Card Backgrounds to see the array of Guild Cards Backgrounds you can attain.

Don’t miss out on the upcoming Monster Hunter World: Spring Blossom Festival 2019 Contents.

For all your Monster Hunter needs stop by our Monster Hunter World Wiki. You can also check out the most recent guides in Monster Hunter World: Arch Tempered Nergigante and Monster Hunter World: Patch 6.00 Notes & Witcher Collaboration Event.

If you are looking for more Monster Hunter World info, you can go in-depth with our featured guides: All Armor Limits, Everything about Kulve Taroth, Long Sword Elemental Limits, Dual Blades’ Max Element & Status Limits,  Attack Values & You, Crown Sizes & You, Monster Hunter World: The Canteen Explained With Ingredient Guide or Monster Hunter World: End Game Guide.

The post Monster Hunter World: All Guild Card Titles appeared first on Fextralife.

Monster Hunter World: All Guild Card Titles published first on https://juanaframi.tumblr.com/

[kurozu501]

I've noticed you mention it in your tags before, so I'd love to hear your thoughts on Sakura/Saber as a pairing (either as regular or dark/alter versions)

Its a pairing with tons of potential that sadly isn’t really explored all that deeply by the end of HF, which just makes me all the more interested in it.

In the early parts of HF, Shirou, Saber, and Sakura form something of a trio. Since Shirou doesn’t team up with Rin, we get lots of scenes with just these three together. All three eating together, Saber and Sakura being pissed at Shirou together when he comes home after sneaking out, Saber talking about Sakura’s self hate issues and clearly relating to them really hard, etc. Just generally lots of sweet wholesome interactions that really sell me on the idea that these two ladies have bonded. I’d love to see more fics with this pairing bc tbh, Saber would probably have the easiest time saving Sakura out of the entire cast. Her Avalon healing would make dealing with like 80% of what Zouken has done to Sakura’s body much simpler. So yeah they are super cute and i love their relationship.

Now, on the darker side of things…

(under a cut bc this got long)

Saber being Sakura Alter’s main servant is such an interesting part of the story to me, but we never get to see much of their dynamic bc theres so much other stuff going on and thats a shame. The game set up parallels between them both early on but then this is basically all we get of their interactions when both are “alter”:

Saber Alter’s motivations are also somewhat vaguely defined. It’s clear that she and Berserker are obedient to Sakura’s will, but what does Saber think of all this? How did she react when she found out that her new master, the source behind the shadow that defeated her, was Sakura? What motivates her to keep going now other then obedience to her Master?

Again we don’t get much but what we do get appeals to me:

This bit from Saber to Shirou, seems to make it clear that Saber Alter’s personal motivation is to see Sakura saved, no matter what it takes. We see that also in sparks liner high, where she encourages Shirou to go all out against her because if he takes her out here, Rin has a higher chance of saving Sakura. Its pretty twisted, but thats to be expected of an alter. Medusa actually says something similar earlier in the route, that she would consider killing Sakura if it would end her pain and was what Sakura wanted. 

It makes me all the more interested in their potential dynamic, that after everything that happened to her, Saber doesn’t blame Sakura and just supports her and wants to see her saved. It forms an interesting parallel to Shirou in this route, who also wants more then anything for Sakura to be saved. It’s also a potentially interesting look into Saber’s character, with her being the loyal knight to a dark queen instead of being the ruler like she was in her life.

So yeah, im equally invested in shipping these two as their alter selves, bc theres a ton of potential there. Endgame villain smooches.

One thing i would do if i were in charge of the hf movies is add a quick scene between the two of them. In the forest, after Shirou defeats Berserker, Saber lets him go because she says Sakura is calling for her. Meanwhile on Sakura’s end we see that the pain of absorbing Berserker’s soul leaves her wracked with pain and collapsed. So it would be easy to add a scene showing Saber finding her like that. 

Show Saber just pick her up bridal style and then start carrying her to the greater grail’s cavern. You could have a quick bit of dialogue between the two, with Sakura asking what happened to Shirou, Saber telling her he released the shroud, Sakura musing sadly that now they are both dying, and Saber saying that she intends to save Sakura even if that means the rest of the world will burn under Angra Mainyu. Quick and easy way of showing how Saber is supporting Sakura and making her motivations more clear to the audience. 

plus i would just. really like saber alter bridal carrying sakura alter lmao. You cant set up all that loyal knight/queen dynamic without doing that at least once.

So yeah, those are all my thoughts! Sakura/Saber is a great pairing with a lot of potential that sadly canon doesnt do much with. Hopefully the hf movies or a future fgo heaven’s feel event will give us more with them.

[animemisogynist]

Fall 2017 Anime Season Preview

It’s almost time for a new season of anime, so here’s the first installment of what will hopefully become a regular feature here at Anime Misogynist: the season preview, where we tell you what’s worth watching before it’s even aired. Now, most sites are slow and lazy and wait until a show has aired an episode (or even three ghastly episodes, for shame!) to tell you whether or not it’s worth your time. However, here at AniMog we are more evolved; when you’re just using a show as a kind of Rorschach blot for your ideology, do you really need to see any of it before judging? The teaser paragraph and one image should be more than enough; frankly, the show doesn’t even need to be animated yet. Honestly, we could post our Summer 2019 Preview Guide right now. Still, we already wrote this one, so we’ll just go with this for now.

Note that these are not the only shows that are going to air this season, but they’re the only ones worth talking about; all the other shows are stupid nonsense that only chicks and cucks would watch. By the way, did you know “cuck” is the absolute best insult? I don’t know what it means, think maybe it has something to do with poultry, but by God, every time I use it I feel so manly and strong. Don’t be a cuck, cucks watch Gamers.

Returning/Continuing Shows

March Comes in Like a Lion, Season Two—First of all, as we’ve been over before, there are no goddamned lions on this show, which is a damned shame. Imagine if instead of a skinny teen moping around his apartment starving to death and wondering what new futon to buy, this show was about an actual lion that plays Shogi? Like, they go to that stuffy club where all the televised Shogi matches happen, then a Lion prowls in wearing a bowtie, and then someone goes “Why is there a Lion in the stairwell?”, and he’s like, “Despite being leonine, I enjoy a stimulating game of Shogi every now and then, on languid afternoons,” but then halfway through the game he rips out someone’s jugular with his teeth, because he’s the king of the jungle and he has no patience for cerebral board game shit. That sounds like a pretty good show, but alas, it is not this show. Still, this show has Akari, who is really hot and pretty and one of our ideal waifus, so we’re probably going to watch it just for her. Watch if you like motherly, mature waifus, skip if you really want a waifu who will step on you.

Rating: 2/10

Fate/Apocrypha, Continuation—Look, I’m just going to throw something out here, it may sound crazy at first, but hear me out: What if all these people just stopped fighting over the Holy Grail?

I mean, think about it: every time we see the Holy Grail, it’s basically a cancerous tumor that has blown up to the size of a Dairy Queen, and it oozes pure evil in the form of black monster bile that burns your skin like acid. It’s supposed to grant wishes or something, but it’s been corrupted by the venal sins that lurk deep within the heart of man, and now it’s just a giant Bouncy House made of oozy suck. So maybe we could get a bunch of historical and mythical figures together, in these awesome, pimped-out costumes with big swords and lances, and have them do…I don’t know, literally anything BUT fight over the Holy Grail. Like, imagine Saber and Jeanne d’Arc starting a coffee shop, and tell me you would not watch that show in a hot second. It would be like Is the Order A Rabbit?, only with frequent disembowelment instead of a talking bunny.

Oh yeah, and speaking of Jeanne D’arc, it’s cool that she’s in this show: because if there’s one thing misogynists love, it’s seeing martyred young girls get empowered and kick righteous amounts of ass.

Rating: Malevolent Menstrual Tumor/10

Food Wars!, Season Three—An important disclaimer: this season, you can either watch Food Wars!, or one of the bishonen idol shows, but not both. Because if you try to watch both, what’s going to happen is that Food Wars! Is going to make you ravenously hungry, eat everything in sight, and gain 60 pounds. Then you’ll watch Dynamic Chord, and cry manly tears that you just gained a spare tire around your waist and will never have the lithe, willowy physique that men in otome game adaptations have, and in all likelihood, contemplate killing yourself. This is just another way the misandric anime industry tries to brutalize male feelings of self-worth, and we’re warning you now so you can take care of yourself; please practice proper self-care.

Anyway, as to the show itself, it’s pretty okay. There’s lots of fanservice from the girls, but the same girls who provide the fanservice are also awesome chefs who give the lead character a run for his money in the cooking competitions, and that’s messed up. Also, like its many predecessors, including Mister Ajikko and Yakitate! Japan, the show manages to harness all the excitement of shonen battle manga while sidestepping the hetero-masculine trope of using violence as progression, so it’s a good show to watch if you’re some fancy fuck who likes taking sociology classes.

Rating: Veal Piccata/10

Yuuki Yuna wa Yuasha de Aru: Yuuasha no Shou—It’s the second season of Yuuki Yuna, or as we like to call it, Poor Man’s Madoka. Honestly, we never watched the first season, so we have no idea if writing off this show as a Madoka Magica clone is fair, but that seems to be the consensus of opinion on the internet, and that’s all that really matters. Of course, if this show is a lot like Madoka, then it presents misogynists with the same fundamental problem as Madoka: it gives little girls magic and makes them very powerful (Misogyny BAD!), but it also puts those girls in situations where their powers do nothing except make them miserable and suffer horrendous fates (Misogyny GOOD!). Kind of puts us in a delicate position: “Why would you want to watch a show all about girls who kick ass?” “yeah, but they’re being put through a metaphorical meat grinder while they kick ass,” “irrelevant, the point still stands that you are watching a MAGICAL GIRL SHOW, explain this shit.”

So yeah, we’re not sure whether we recommend this show or not. We have someone in the back room crunching the numbers, trying to figure out if it’s more misogynistic to watch a show about females suffering than not to watch it at all on account of the stars being girls, but until we get a preliminary estimate back from our math guy, you’re on your own here.

Rating: Meguca is Suffering/10

Hoozuki’s Coolheadedness, Season Two—There’s a lot to talk about with this show, like the beautiful traditionally-styled Japanese art art, the quirky humor and the ingenuity of making a kind of slow-paced workplace comedy that happens to take place deep within the bowels of hell, but honestly, all that is overshadowed by wondering how the fuck this show even exists. See, there are four categories of anime: Moe anime (cute girls), Ecchi anime (sexy girls), Shonen Jump manga adaptations (shows where people punch each other for several hundred episodes), and Fujobait (shows for desperate-ass chicks.) Occasionally we get something that doesn’t know what the hell it wants to be, like Bungo Stray Dogs, but in general, most anime produced come in one of the aforementioned flavors. Hoozuki’s Coolheadedness is very much its own thing, meaning there’s only one explanation for how this show got made: it’s produced in an alternate dimension where anime has incredible artistic variety.

Maybe in the mysterious and wonderful dimension Hoozuki hails from, there’s an anime for every taste, Harmony Gold never got the rights to Macross, Cowboy Bebop is up to season 147, the director of Kemono Friends wasn’t fired, and Funimation can write an entire dub script without putting in a totally ham-handed reference to intersectionality? Maybe J.J. Abrams died in a horrible lens-flare related accident before he had a chance to announce his adaptation of Your Name? The possibilities are endless!

Come to think of it, that Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju show must also come from that dimension, since it doesn’t really fit any popular genre molds…neither does Joker Game. Neither does ACCA. Neither does Poco’s Udon World. Neither does The Morose Mononokean. Neither does Barakamon. Neither does Erased.

Hmmph. Either a lot of shows are somehow making it through the portal from the Antimatter Anime Dimension, or modern anime has a lot more variety than most people are giving it credit for. Must be lax security on those interdimensional portals….

Rating: Makes us question the nature of the multiverse/10

Himouto Umaru-Chan R (second season)—We love Umaru-chan! All hail goddess Umaru! Actually, we hate this show with a passion, because if it was gender-swapped and it was about an otaku dude who was a bum at home and acted like an asshole toward his sibling, everyone would call him a pathetic loser, but because Umaru’s a chick, it’s fine; just another example of this glaring double-standard at work. However, if the last time this show aired is anything to go by, in about a week from now every inch of the internet is going to be wallpapered with GIFs of chibi-Himaru rolling around in her Snuggie, guzzling liters of Coke, and you just can’t fight that level of media saturation. Like, it’s going to be that insufferable “Dude turning around to check out another woman while walking with his gf” meme, only the girlfriend is Umaru-chan, the other woman is also Umaru-chan, and even the cheating dude is Umaru-chan, but slightly taller. So in this case we’re adopting a philosophy of “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” and pretending to be huge fans of the show; only dedicated AniMog readers will know that we’re actually liking it ironically, HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Because watching a show ironically is COMPLETELY different from just watching it normally, and earns you coolness points from God.

All that said we will (ironically) enjoy watching Umaru do her lazy secret otaku thing, and (ironically) enjoy the sundry references to otaku culture that the show will surely make. We look forward to the (completely insincere) joy we will experience with this series once again.

Rating: 11/10 (wink)

Idolmaster Side M—Once upon a time, idol anime were about cute girls, and all was right with the world. Then some schmuck decided to make an Idolmaster anime about guys, and it’s like, really? Wasn’t idol anime supposed to be the last area of anime that was just for the enjoyment of creepy dudes, now creepy chicks have displaced creepy dudes as the target audience? What are all the creepy dudes supposed to do now? Jump down a well?

Really, the way these idol anime objectify young men makes us sick, especially knowing it’s all being done for the enjoyment of drooling fujoshis who would probably die if they had to talk to a real guy IRL. At least there’s only one of these problematic male idol shows this season.

Rating: Hard to find a good well to jump down/10

New Shows

Dynamic Chord—Wait, actually there’s two problematic male idol shows this season, and this is the other one (and also, the show you should absolutely NOT WATCH if you’re going to do the Food Wars! thing.) From cursory inspection, it seems like a poor gal’s version of Uta no Prince-sama, and even UtaPri is a poor gal’s version of UtaPri, if you know what I mean. At least UtaPri has that slowly mounting tension as you wait for Evil Succubus Nanami to show her true colors and start snacking on the guys’ entrails, but it doesn’t look like there’s any of that intrigue here: just an endless stream of handsome, objectified males for women to put on a pedestal and deepen their aversion to real, flesh-and-blood men. At least there’s only TWO of these problematic male idol shows this seas--OH WAIT, FUCK--

TsukiPro The Animation-- God is a Fujoshi, and we live at her pleasure; That’s the only explanation. Even if we were to die, there would be no escape from armies of emaciated male idols crooning insipid JPOP for all eternity. If you want a vision of the future, imagine a singing, pink-haired bishounen in a sparkly tuxedo stepping on a dude’s face, forever.

Rating: Orwell Reference WE SO CULTURED/10

My Girlfriend is a Faithful Virgin Bitch—Okay, we are not falling for it this time. You’d think a show that goes so far as to call the female lead a bitch in the title would be a field day for misogynists, but whenever anime promises us a show that seems like it’s for us, it’s always a damned trap. Remember when Keijo!!!!!!!! was supposedly this super-misogynist show, so much so that trashy online magazines were writing hit pieces on it? How did that turn out? Oh right, the female fanbase was so fucking empowered by that show they went out and invented a whole new sport. If that show was supposed to make women feel bad about themselves and stay home, then someone was asleep at the fucking wheel there, ya think? Oh, and remember a few years back, when people were all offended over The Pet Girl of Sakurasou because of the titular “pet” girl, thinking the girl was being treated poorly, and the show turned out to be about creative genius and the psychological toll it takes on the people geniuses rely on for support? And remember when people said that Kuma Miko was…wait...well, okay that show WAS hella misogynist, but that was like, the one time. It was bound to happen once.

Anyway, the point is that we no longer believe shows that dangle the promise of wymyn-hating in front of us like a carrot. More likely, “Virgin Bitch” will end up being about how women will dominate the STEM fields of the future, and the Virgin Bitch will only be a virgin because she’s too busy developing a new form of clean energy from discarded takoyaki containers to have any time for sex.

Rating: WTF is a “Shobitch?”/10

Anime-Gataris—It’s a show about an anime club, kind of like Genshiken from the sound of it. Except, you know how at the beginning, Genshiken was mainly about dudes, but by the end it was a couple of sweaty fujoshi yelling about whether or not bald dudes were hot? Well life seems to be imitating art here, because we have now reached the point where our “anime nerds go act like nerds” shows are all-female. I mean, I hate to be a broken record here, since we’ve already railed about the tragedy of the generic male leads in Magical Girlfriend shows being replaced with women, but seriously, what roles are left for males? Soon the only dudes left are going to be Boruto’s Dad’s son, whoever Gintama is, and the baby seal from Go! Go! Goma-chan, assuming he is even a boy…I mean, how would you know? I wouldn’t know where to even look on a seal, to be honest.

Rating: Location of Seal Penis?/10

Net-juu no Susume—“Gee, Anime Misogynist is exaggerating here. Some of the roles traditionally filled by men in anime are opening up to female characters, sure, but it’s not like it’s happening everywhere or anything.” Yeah okay, this show is about a 30-something loser gamer NEET, the role that men were born to play, only the main character now has a blasted uterus, ARE YOU MAYHAPS NOTICING A PATTERN HERE GENIUS?

Rating: Soon Boruto Will Be All We Have Left/10

Black Clover—Yaaay, it’s a show with a male lead who isn’t an objectified pop singer! Except it’s one of those shows where a guy wants to become a great magician, and how many of those have there been already? At least with The Irregular at Magic High School people could sidestep the dullness of the premise by arguing on Twitter over whether or not Ayn Rand was smoking crack back in the day, but I doubt we’ll get any such stimulating political discussions here. Apparently the hero gains the power of Anti-Magic, so maybe he’ll be like Touma from A Certain Magical Index, and this show is just a means to an end until we get the inevitable Railgun-esque sequel that focuses entirely on the female cast? Fuck, that’s probably exactly what’s going to happen. Skip this show and stop the next Raildex loli phenomenon before it starts: only YOU can prevent another Kuroko.

Rating: Only My Railgun Is A Good Song Tho/10

UQ Holder: Mahou Sensei Negima! 2—If you think this is the kind of blog that does actual research before we post anything, then I have some very bad news for you. However, after the extremely minimal amount of online goofing off we did before writing this post, we got the impression that this is based on the manga Ken Akamatsu really wanted to make, when he made Negima!, only he had to make Negima! first for some reason? Or maybe the second half of Negima! was the manga he really wanted to make, and this is the sequel to the thing he wanted to make, so he super-duper-wanted to make it? Not really clear on the details here. However, if what we remember about Akamatsu from the Love Hina era is still valid, what he REALLY wants to do is play MMORPGS all day, so we should let his show fail so he can do that; that’s what he wants, deep down, probably.

Rating: Let Gamers Game/10

Wake Up, Girls! Shin Shou—It’s more WUG, the idol show that somehow keeps getting made despite the fact that idol fans hate it and no one else will touch it with a ten-foot pole. How do these seasons keep getting funded? Maybe it’s one of nature’s mysteries, like how bumblebees can somehow fly despite the fact that the calculations show that they really shouldn’t be able to. We’d say that it comes from the AntiMatter Anime Dimension, except that whole concept is predicated on the notion that the people who live in that dimension have shockingly good taste. At least by its very presence, this show is balancing out the alarming number of male idol shows this season, but to be honest, if WUG is your only alternative for idol waifus, you may as well just turn gay already.

Rating: Taste the Rainbow/10

Urahara—It’s about three girls who want to protect Harjuku’s culture from some evil aliens, somehow. Now it would be one thing if it was say, Akiba culture they were protecting, but Harajuku? Isn’t Harajuku all gothic Lolita fashion and shit, like chicks wearing those tiny little top hats on their heads that are about five times too small to be actual hats, and their heads must be really chilly? We’re watching this show to root for the aliens, because seriously FUCK those tiny little hats, take them into space, either wear a fucking hat on your head or don’t 

Rating: Extraterrestrials and Questionable Haberdashery/10

Juuni Taisen—Having done no research, we don’t know anything about this show, but at first glance, it appears to be a ripoff of Fate/Stay Night, only themed around the Chinese Zodiac instead of badass historical figures holding pointy things. In that case, we’re going to give this show the same advice we gave to Fate/Apocrypha: Stop fighting over the Holy Grail, it’s overrated! Unless this is the one instance where the Chinese knock-off is better than the original, in which case, as you were, gentlemen.

Rating: Incoming Hate Mail From China/10

Blend S— On a surface level, this show sounds good; a girl takes a job as a waitress at a role-playing café, and she gets assigned the role of a extreme sadist, so maybe we can anticipate some sexy dominatrix-type action. However, once you think about it, the premise falls apart; we finally get an anime about a dominatrix, only the girl doesn’t know what she’s doing. She’s probably going to be all sweet and kind and innocent, and only in episode 12 will she get five seconds where she acts the part properly. The entire show is probably going to be about her coming into her own budding sexuality or whatever, in a totally healthy way, and it’ll be about as kinky as an episode of pre-HBO Sesame Street (don’t get us started on what HBO did to our girl Abby Cadabby.)

Dammit, remember that show Amanchu! from a few seasons back that was supposed to be about scuba diving, but the bitches didn’t even really go scuba diving until episode 12? Why can’t we have a show be about what it says it’s about from episode 1? Is that really too fucking much to ask?

Rating: Make a Goddamned Commitment to Your Premise, Please/10

Kujira no Kora wa Sajou ni Utao—We interrupt your regularly scheduled Anime Misogynist to bring you something that has nothing do with misogyny, but really should be mentioned. The synopsis of this show says that the main character is an archivist on a floating island called Mud Whale. “Mud Whale.” There is only one way this came about:

J.C. Staff Executive 1: “Damn, we only have 3 shows so far this season, and according to the venerable J.C. Staff Company Charter, we must have at least four. Anyone got any pitches for another show?”

J.C. Staff Executive 2: “I have two words for you: Mud Whale.”

J.C .Staff Executive 1: “Get me a script by Monday. And that’s why we’re the best goddamned cartoon company in this industry, kids.” *puffs on huge cigar* “Eat your heart out, Kyoto Animation.”

Rating: Inspiring anime studio fanfiction/10

FILMS

Free! Take Your Marks—If you somehow resisted the urge for self-harm Dynamic Cord and its brethren inspired in you, you can go to your local cinema and torture yourself with images of the perfect abs of the Free! boys. Being Free!, presumably this film will be filled with lots of striking images of lean, beautiful boys swimming in beautiful, sparkling swimming pools, so it’s maybe worth watching if you have some kind of a fantasy about belonging to a really nice country club that doesn’t allow fat people. Otherwise, avoid like the plague.

Rating: TOXIC MALE BODYSHAMING/10

Fate/Stay Night [Heaven’s Feel] 1. Presage Flower—What number adaptation of the same 2004 visual novel are we up to already? They’ve been making these F/SN anime for over a decade, and it’s not like they’re adapting a whole sequence of visual novels or something; they’re literally adapting different parts of the same game. For a decade. This is where Fate fans jump up and say “But Heaven’s Feel is about Sakura and Rider, it’s TOTALLY different than Fate and UBW!” You mean to tell me that somewhere during the last five anime productions in this franchise, they couldn’t have found some time for Sakura and Rider? Maybe they could have edited out those scenes in Fate/Zero when people just walked in circles around each other and smirked, then they would have had enough time for poor little Sakura to have her day in the sun.

The fact that this franchise has been dragged out for so long, with so much repetition (since there’s a lot of overlap between the routes) is by far the worst thing about it—and we’re saying this about a series where King Arthur has been known to experience menstrual cramps. Oh, and stop fighting over the Holy Grail, it blows.

Rating: As I Pray, Unlimited Adaptation SpamWorks/10

TV Short

Taishou Chicchai-san: The Bad News: it’s based on a Boys Love game, because as previously established, God is a Fujoshi and she’s also a greedy bitch who wants all anime to herself. The Good News: it takes place during the Taishou era (1912-1926), so everyone involved is probably going to die of cholera before things get super-gay.

Rating: They could also die of polio/10

Osake wa Fuufu ni Natte Kara: A short anime about a tipsy wife who enjoys her husband’s cocktails, because apparently someone thought I Can’t Understand What My Husband is Saying had too ambitious a premise and they needed to scale it back. Why is she the only one enjoying his cocktails though? Does he ever get any cocktails? Maybe it’s a “she cooks, he makes the drinks,” situation, but you know damned well there is no cooking going on, lazy ass drunk girl is probably microwaving Healthy Choice meals for him every night. And is that a filling dinner? No, it is not, he will likely be hungry again by 9 p.m.

Rating: File for divorce/10

OVAS

Is The Order a Rabbit? Dear My Sister—We don’t actually care about this show, but we feel the need to point out something that’s been bugging us for years; shouldn’t the name of this show be localized as “Did Somebody Order a Rabbit?” Wouldn’t that be a much catchier English title, with proper syntax and whatnot? Anyway, if you like watching cute girls drink coffee, this franchise is basically the Citizen Kane of cute girls drinking coffee, so knock yourself out, I guess.

Rating: Also there is a tea shop/10

Encouragement of Climb, Omoide Present—This may come as a surprise, but Encouragement of Climb may just be our most hated anime here at Anime Misogynist. Why? Well, if we have to live in a world where the premise of 99% of anime is “cute girls do a thing,” the least they can do is try something awesome, like climbing mountains (although, to be fair, “Cute girls ride thoroughly realistic armored tanks,” is pretty good too.) So we had high hopes for this show, only to discover that this show’s version of “climbing” is what your Great-Aunt Estelle from Boca Raton considers a leisurely stroll. Seriously, these girls buy backpacks and sundry equipment from Campmor, only to do these little pedestrian hikes on gentle hills that even toddlers and the elderly can do. If the premise of the show is mountain climbing, then for God’s sake, climb Everest. Climb K2; take your hobby SERIOUSLY, dammit. But no, Encouragement of Climb makes the Boy Scout Jamboree look like the absolute epitome of outdoor sportsmanship.

Now that there’s a new OVA, we can only hope this show is going to do what it should have done in the first place, and show the girls climbing an actual fucking mountain, like with climbing spikes and ropes and….oh. Oh. Oh God, no. Just saw the preview and what does it say? “The OVA centers on a certain item that relates to the memories of Aoi and Hinata.” They ain’t gonna climb SHIT, are they? Fuck you, Encouragement of Climb, you could have encouraged us to climb but you never have and you never will.

Rating: DISCOURAGED/10

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We hope that this timely feature will help you navigate the confusing and sometimes scary smorgasbord of swiftly moving drawings available this season. Now would be the standard time to request that you donate to our Patreon, except as sitting board members on the International Council of Patriarchy, we have no use for something as plebeian as currency. If you would still like to support Anime Misogynist, because you are a nice and high-quality person, please let all your friends know about the value of looking at anime through a misogynist lens: the nuanced, rigorous media criticism of the future.

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Buffalo Bills: Things we know this week

I settled in to spend some time following the NHL expansion draft. The new Las Vegas Golden Knights go ‘live to air’ this fall, competing as the first NHL expansion team since Columbus and Minnesota came into the league many years ago, right around the time our beloved Buffalo Bills last competed in the playoffs.

I know many people like myself who travel the Vegas destination often due to friends and family residing in the valley; will be strategic moving forward with the dates of planned visits. Those dates will certainly be analyzed carefully before booking a flight based on when the Sabres play in Southern Nevada. Pretty smart..huh?

Teams spend days and weeks masterminding the best strategy on protecting and exposing players and minimizing the huge risks. I mentioned feeling smart, did I not? I was feeling this was a simple task due to a totally unrelated accomplishment, yet an accomplishment it was and confidence I did not lack.

I just recently solved the much anticipated ruse on the newly ABC re-creation of the 1970’s famous talent exhibition, The Gong Show. Riddle me this. I successfully identified the washed up English actor Tom Maitland as good old Wayne from SNL’s skit turned movies, Wayne’s World and Austin Power’s star, Michael Myers.

We won’t get into ‘I married an axe murderer’ or I may ruin this entire article, which I have been known to do… Really well played out over all, but just how long is it funny to have a well know celebrity on a game show hosting it as someone else. It did its job and got everyone’s attention. Andy Kaufman would be proud.

No deal… No problem… no worries… as long as in Positioning themselves only a small quantity of players of any significance are left unprotected. Significance could mean valuable players to your team’s performance on the ice remaining secure. Significant could also be a contract you truly want Vegas to select and take off of your hands.

As much as I love hockey being a rink rat growing up playing on multiple teams at a time throughout certain seasons, football drafts are just simply better. Regular season football games are simply better than regular season hockey games. I will gladly stack up an NHL playoff game against any sport for action, intensity, excitement, aggressiveness and pure entertainment.

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That being said 82 regular season hockey games take place to narrow it down the playoff teams and that can be long and at times uneventful, and yes I will say it, boring.

When it comes to drafts, once in a great while, your team may be involved with a chase like the Sabres were two seasons ago, basically tanking it to get the best chance to score Connor McDavid or Jack Eichel during a season where two franchise players were to be at the top of the draft. In football, the number one overall pick is usually brilliant his first year. Yes, the bust factor exists, but so do the Andrew Luck’s and Cam Newton’s lighting it up as a rookie.

If the Bills draft eighth overall, you expects a stud player who will be starting as a rookie no matter which side of the ball that player plays on. In hockey very high draft picks occasionally make the team the first year and often are so young they are returned to college or juniors.

So when sport writers state that the Buffalo Bills numbers are leaning towards a tank or all out rebuild, I do not believe it because they would not have kept Kyle Williams and Charles Clay around if they were planning on stripping to the bones and going 1-15… or worse.

I would guess they are retooling on the fly and if it results in a total bust of a season, bring on those top rated quarterbacks coming out of college. Because football players can be extremely impactful so quickly, I am willing to wait especially since we have already been waiting for 17 years.

In hockey a tank can seem to take an eternity. Yes Edmonton made the playoffs in McDavid’s second season. Heir rebuild though has been going on since about 2007. Many number one overall picks and still no team chemistry and no additional wins.

I am excited for the two new regimes under the ownership of the Pegula Empire. The Bills just appear more professional and carry themselves differently with their new front office. I can honestly see the Bills in the playoffs as much as the experts say no way. If the defense resembles anything of what it was prior to Rex Ryan’s arrival, then this season will be a successful one on the defensive side of the football. Jerry Hughes, Kyle Williams, Marcell Dareus all were amazing and without Mario Williams, they have Shaq Lawson and Lorenzo Alexander ready to crush the opponent’s quarterback.

Now if the offense can continue its dominance of the last two seasons rushing the football and improve on the passing game, they could have decent football team. Balanced for a change, on both sides of the ball, which could equal a winning season. I am not placing any world class wagers on that because they could also be a train wreck in that new systems are in place yet again which often times take half of a season to adapt to which in the 16 game season of the NFL, is far too late.

I think the Bills are one or two players or one or two injuries away from being really good or really bad. I think the Sabres are not there yet and are a team with a handful of good players for the future with way to many holes everywhere else.

A little comparison between the two major league teams in town is very much understandable being that both teams news is slow being in the offseason and both teams felt the wrath of Terry Pegula as the coach and general manager as well as many other coaching and front office positions were terminated of their employment meaning huge turnover in management.

I also don’t see either team having a Tim Murray style impulsive executive. Both GM’s were highly regarded and groomed and take the methodical sensible approach with limited risk factors, more like Darcy Regier. I apologize for that name because he was here for so many years, but patience was his game.

Doug Whaley was a gunslinger in that he pulled the trigger on moves like McCoy or trading away a ton for Sammy Watkins pick. He was involved in the trades to make the E.J. selection less of a reach and selecting Robert Woods. He never had an issue trading up or down to accomplish what he visioned was needed right there and then.

Tim Murray was the same in those ways. His deal getting Kane and O’Reilly were basically fantasies on talk radio that he made happen. But he also traded a number one pick for an unproven goalie with other options on the table. He traded away a top notch defensemen and a couple prospect defenseman the Sabres went from being viewed as having a very, very young defense with a bright future to a team that did not even have an NHL worthy defensive core. Some experts really even question the one defenseman the Sabres and the fans really rank high internally.

Enough about the ice hockey team comparisons for kicks, as justifiable as it is. My swimming pool water feels closer than the Sabers prospects are to actual ice — ice time in the near future — oh that was not very nice.

Now fine people in Bills Country and Sabers Land. Give me the opportunity to freshen up with a chunk of that gum that considers leaking liquid sweetener refreshing, ”chill out” like Arnold instructed cleverly as Mr. Freeze and ”Relax” only as Frankie goes to Hollywood did, guiding a generation. Those very important words being said, Ladies and Gentlemen I bring to you from a very nice plastic Adirondack chair between a cold swimming pool and not quite hot; hot tub as Hurley and Aldous look at me and look at me and look at me…that’s what dogs do, but really this is awkward…ok this is uncomfortable.

BILLS NEWS: Buffalo’s three most important players for 2017

Things We Know About The Buffalo Bills This Week:

Rookie wide receiver Zay Jones will have plenty of opportunity opposite Sammy Watkins this season. He was indeed the most targeted wide receiver in college ball in 2016 with 216.  The next best was Trent Taylor at 171 which surely separates the first and second place player in that category.

Opportunities are extremely important for rookies giving them more opportunity to make plays. If a rookie drop or out of bounds call happens with very limited opportunities it can be discouraging to the player and have him viewed wrongly by the league’s players. Racking up opportunities can create a sort memory if he makes errors, and if not, he can have one heck of a rookie season.

Bill Polian who built the dynasty that was the late 80’s and 90’s Buffalo Bills knows the Bills need to identify who will step up at the wide receiver position this year. He is not naïve to the question mark at running back behind Shady. I cannot get cute and ask the real Slim Shady to please stand up, because the Bills real Shady has done more than stand up since arriving in town.

He has carried the team while standing up. Polian also wants to see how the offensive line holds up in pass protection for T-Mobile. That may seem like a lot, but that is his job and he comes up with more questions about the World Champions if you give him the open microphone. He thinks this Bills team is going in the right direction for the first time since 2004.

He says the defense should take several weeks to gel, but after that it is a very similar scheme that Jim Swartz implemented and the talent is there. It could be a dominating defense up front with the line and the linebacking crew. Special teams should be decent since they kept that coaching faculty in place and they are big supporters in players who do multiple things and that is exactly what special team’s coaches want to, but rarely hear.

This year and next year will be break out years in the Queen City in Mr. Polian’s view. However, many other experts view this Bills team in a different light. Time will tell. I realize the more and more I read and listen that the 2004 Bills were really a special team. I really really hate missed opportunities.

What am I talking about in missed opportunities? That team choked, losing to third stringers the last week of the season. Wait… missed opportunities can work here because the Bills got all of the help they needed around the league that a win by them puts them in the playoffs.  So we would only be talking about a tiny 13 year playoff draught. Not too shabby

Good morning, Good afternoon, Good evening and in case I don’t see ya….good night.

READ MORE: Three wide receivers the Bills could target in 2018

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