#like realistically I know I’m tired from doing things yesterday but the way jobs work you’re doing things every day

[mayonaisalspray]

Walking up stairs on bad energy days means I have to stop for a few minutes how the fuck am I supposed to work a retail job

[idy-ll-ique]

Art.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, little bit of Angst

Warnings: jealousy and insecurity

Requested: nope

Summary: In which Steve is into art but Y/N is not.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Haven't got anything to say specifically so,,, enjoy the fic! Hope you like it!

[Y/H - Your Hobby]

---

"Oh my God, this is awesome!"

"It is, isn't it?" Y/N smiled softly, staring at the pure joy on Steve Rogers' face as he stared at the beautiful painting in front of him. "So much! Ah, realistic paintings, they're always so amazing. Do you like them?" he grinned, putting an arm around her shoulders. "Sure, they look cool," Y/N shrugged, not really understanding the painting. It was aesthetically pleasing, though.

Well, anything to make her boyfriend happy. They were at an art gallery in Brooklyn, which Steve loved to visit. Y/N, knowing how much Steve liked art, and her, always accompanied him. Steve and Y/N had been dating for nearly a year now. "Yeah! I know you aren't into art, but thanks for coming."

Y/N scoffed, burrowing closer to him. "You're my boyfriend, bro, anything for you." She giggled when he gave her a playful shove, immediately pulling her back to him. "Don't call me that, I'm your boyfriend," he chided jokingly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Sure you are." Steve laughed, ruffling her hair.

"We've been together for a year." They stood in front of an abstract painting. Just as Y/N was about to retort, they heard someone clearing their throat. Turning around, they saw a woman standing there, smiling at them. "Hello, I'm Tiffany! You're Steve Rogers, if I'm correct?" she addressed the man.

"I am, and this is my girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N," Steve answered with a polite smile, unconsciously pulling Y/N closer to him. He didn't like the way Tiffany was looking at him. "This is my painting, do you like it?" Tiffany asked. There was something off about her... "Ah, sure sure, it looks really good." Even though he didn't trust Tiffany, he couldn't lie about the art.

"Thank you! What do you think about it, Y/N?" Tiffany turned her smile unto Y/N. The woman blinked and glanced at the art. "It's nice," she shrugged truthfully. "Ooh, I'm so glad! The meaning is truly wonderful, I worked hard on it," Tiffany clapped her hands. "Yeah… the meaning…" Y/N cleared her throat, looking away from her.

"If you wanna see more of my art, you're very welcome to check it out! This one is on sale, actually, if you would consider," Tiffany offered, looking directly at Steve. "Oh no, not here to buy anything, just to admire," Steve chuckled, waving his arm in dismissal. "Okay, okay, but if you want to ever talk about art, you can give me a call. Toodles!"

With that, Tiffany handed Steve a business card, turned around and left. Steve stared at the card he involuntarily accepted, scrunching his nose. "Oh God, that—" He cursed, throwing the card into a nearby trash can. "What about her? I think she was lovely," Y/N lied, giving him a quick smile.

"She was clearly condescending! Ugh!" Steve rolled his eyes, "Anyway, we don't wanna ruin our day. Let's continue with the art!" Y/N's mind wandered as she casually latched on Steve's arm, ignoring the words he was saying to her. She couldn't help but think about Tiffany and how it was clear that she was hitting on her boyfriend.

To be honest, Tiffany was kind of better than her. Steve and Y/N had no common interests, why was he even interested in her? Why wasn't he into Tiffany? Steve's main attraction was art, he loved it more than anything else in the world and yet he continued to be with a woman who had absolutely no curiosity in said thing.

Why?!

Y/N softly groaned.

Oh no, this was gonna be a problem.

Which she was gonna fix.

---

Impressionism is a 19th-century art movement characterized by relatively small, thin, yet visible brush strokes, open composition, emphasis on accurate depiction of light in its changing qualities (often accentuating the effects of the passage of time), ordinary subject matter, inclusion of movement as a crucial...

Y/N blinked and yawned, throwing her phone on the bed. "Ugh! Why is art so fucking boring and frustrating?!" she moaned, rubbing a hand over her face. She sat up all of a sudden, squinting at the clock in the corner of the room. It was 4:56 am. "Or maybe I'm just tired…" She lay back down on the bed and kept her phone away.

The thing is, ever since that one visit to the art gallery, Y/N's little confusion about Tiffany and Steve had turned into the biggest insecurity of hers. Since that time, she had been limiting her meetings with Steve, as was she learning more about the thing that made Steve most happy: Art.

Steve hadn't questioned her as of yet, which was good. He didn't suspect a thing. She knew he didn't like Tiffany, given how he had called her unsavory things and also immediately threw her business card in the trash. Y/N just couldn't help feeling like she didn't belong with Captain America, Steve Rogers.

Steve, meanwhile, also awake, was sitting on the balcony in his room, thinking about his girlfriend. Why had she been acting so weird for the past one month? Absolutely refused to be around him for more than half-an-hour, sounded tired every time they talked and knew surprisingly a lot about paintings.

How? And why? He sighed and got up, stumbling into his bedroom. A little talk tomorrow won't hurt, right? Running a hand through his hair, he plopped down on the bed, lay down and finally decided to sleep.

---

"Y/N? Sweetie, can I talk to you?" Y/N glanced at Steve. "Yeah, what happened?" she smiled when he sat next to her, putting an arm around her. "Is everything okay with you? Lately you've been… kind of strange," he whispered. "I'm fine! Just having trouble sleeping, that's it," Y/N muttered, resting her head on his shoulder.

They were sitting in his room at the Stark Tower. "No, it's something else. I've known you for a year, my love, tell me. I'm here for you," he assured her, brushing her hair with his fingers. "Fine! It's Tiffany! She got into my head," Y/N groaned, burying her face in his neck. "Her?! That— sorry," Steve blushed when Y/N gave him a pointed look.

"Look, I get it, man. You're Captain America, you're America's hottest man or something and women literally flock to you all the time but she— she likes art. Just like you do. You both know so much about it, it's insane! I'm only thinking, why am I with you? I've never been interested in art, and Tiffany actually seems like a fun person to be around."

"So you got a little insecure?" Steve teased, pressing his lips to her temple. "I haven't slept in a month! Why do you think I know so much about art all of a sudden?" Y/N huffed, looking away from him. He froze. She gave up her sleep just to make sure she was… worthy of his affections?

"You're lying."

"I'm not lying. I slept at 6 am yesterday. Today, technically speaking. I had to be at my job at 8, and I got half an hour of sleep all because I was researching impressionist art— Why are you looking at me like that?" Y/N deadpanned. Steve continued to stare at her, a look of disbelief and incredulity on his face.

"I want to tell you something very important." He pulled away and turned to sit face-to-face with her. "What's that?" she mumbled. "I love you. I love you so much, Y/N, you're the most gorgeous woman I've seen, we are happy together and I like that. We have different interests, of course I know that, but it doesn't matter."

"Why doesn't it?"

"Because when we're together, next to each other, I have the best time of my life. Everything is blissful when you're with me and it's… it is euphoric. You don't need to learn about art just to hang out with me, I like rambling to you! Unlike artists, who would most definitely interrupt me at all times, you listen. And I like that. I also love listening to you talk about Y/H."

Y/N teared up at his words. "Thank you," she managed to blurt out, sniffling when Steve laughed and pulled her into his arms. "Off the bat, I knew what that bratty woman wanted. But I didn't want it because I already have it better," he chuckled, rubbing her back in soothing motions.

"I love you too," Y/N mumbled into his shoulder, smiling softly when she felt him pressing a kiss to the top of her head. All of a sudden, there were knocks on the door. "Come in," Steve called out and Sam poked his head into the room. "Steve, we have a meeting in 15 minutes, just a heads up. Hi Y/N!"

"Hi Sam!" Y/N greeted enthusiastically. "I see you're doing better now," Steve smiled, wiping her tears away when Sam left. "I needed to talk and we did, I'm… I'm not insecure anymore," Y/N admitted, playing with the hem of the t-shirt she was wearing. "I'm glad we could sort this out. I gotta go now, talk to you later?"

"I'm not going anywhere. Bye!"

She smiled when he leaned over and gave her a chaste kiss. "I love you!" he called out when he left the room. "I love you— close the door, you turd!" She laughed loudly when he turned around with a raised eyebrow. "I love you too, Steve," she grinned cheekily, bursting into boisterous laughter when he closed the door behind him.

Outside, Steve only smiled, happy that his girlfriend was doing much better.

See, a little conversation didn't hurt.

---

A/N: Hope you liked it! Leave a like if you did, thanks for reading!

[cblgblog]

Sorry I’m advance but one of my other favorite accounts just reblogged a Tony scene and people are talking about Civil War and how it made them Stan Tony, and how when they watch that movie they hate team cap👀 Then someone was all about how he was sleep deprived and how much pressure he was under and couldn’t understand how people didn’t like Tony because. Someone literally said that when someone says they don’t like Tony in Civil War they say “did you watch the same movie as me.” I’m baffled. Oddly enough someone else said, “he just wants to help everyone.” Sorry for the rant but I think people forget about what the accords are and what it would mean for people. Side note, I hope you’re having a great day/night 😀

No sorry needed!

I feel you man, I do. Honestly, I’ve unfollowed people based on similar posts when I was in especially Done moods, so.

Look on the one hand, the movie would’ve been a narrative failure if everyone was in favor of one side or the other, right? The whole point of the damn thing—besides giving the Mouse overlords more money—was to spark discussion, debate. Which, yeah, we’ll call that the tame description for what actually happened. But just, the thing was meant to split the fanbase so in that regard…winning? Thanks, I guess?

Film is also very obviously subjective, different strokes for different folks, so yeah, ten people can watch a movie and none of them are gonna see the exact same film. Let’s try to remember that this is, in theory anyway, a good thing. I just read a professional film review yesterday where I had the same reaction. What film were you watching, dude? Incidentally his reviewing partner said the same thing.

So honestly, no, they weren’t watching the same film as you or I or anyone else, because everyone brings their own biases and experiences and knowledge and interests into a thing, and that’s always going to flavor how it’s viewed. Again, let’s try to remember that this is good. In theory. Heavy on the theory.

That out of the way? Let’s get into Tony specifically so his uber stans can find this and scream at me on anon as though I just shot RDJ with a nuke.

Oh yeah, he was stressed. Oh, he was sleep deprived. Yeah, I’ve heard that. And that it’s Pepper’s fault, if she hadn’t left the poor baby, if she was there to rein him in, he’d be fine dammit, leave the baby alone!

Here’s the thing. You know who gets a pass on their shit behavior when they’re upset or tired? Actual babies. Actual babies and toddlers, and children, up to a point. Because they actually cannot always help themselves. Their bodies and brains are different, they have not learned better.

When you’re a 50-year-old man who’s supposedly the world’s bestest superhero, who wants, wants to be in charge of protecting the whole world? You need a little more self-control than that. The sleep deprived excuse works if you snap at someone before you’ve had your coffee, not for this. Roseanne Barr didn’t get to blame Ambien for her racism, Tony doesn’t get to handwave CW away because oops, I was tired.

Really? You’re a superhero, dude. Most of your teammates are tired too, that’s part of the gig. If you crash and burn this badly without your afternoon nap, fucking hang up the armor and go back to your billionaire playboy lifestyle.

Speaking of that, sure, right. It’s Pepper’s fault because she left him. Put aside the argument on whether that was justified or not (cough, it was and she should’ve stayed away even though they are adorable together). It’s not Pepper’s job to keep Tony sane. It’s not any partner’s job to do that for anyone. If she wants out, she has a right to that, without Tony going off the rails and blaming it on her. Seriously, he says part of the reason he backed the Accords was to “split the difference” with Pepper.

Dude. You were an asshole and you lost your girl. You destroyed all your suits, turned an emotional and mental corner in IM 3…and then relapsed 4 minutes later I guess because Whedon. Either way, Tony admits himself that he does not want to stop. So instead of doing that, or finding another partner who can accept that, you back an unjust international law that pits you against your team, your supposed friends? Go to therapy, have a pint of ice cream, cry into your pillow, send her more of those strawberries you sent her in IM 2 that she’s allergic to. You don’t go trying to change international law in ways that could ultimately affect millions of people because your girl left you.

Honestly—and thank God they didn’t do this but—the only way the Pepper excuse works in excusing his behavior in any way is if she’d died. Or been severely injured like Happy in IM 3. Still wouldn’t be okay, but, like Quill messing up their chance to stop Thanos because Gamora died, it would’ve been more understandable. Understandable, not excusable, and the way the MCU treats their women as manpain fodder, we’re probably legit lucky we didn’t get this.

As for him wanting to help everyone. He does in fact want that, I think. The problem is that his need to feel like he’s doing that is stronger than his rational mind, or his want to actually help in a constructive way.

Tony is too smart. He’s dumb as hell in many instances, mostly involving people and relationships, but he’s also too smart, and he’s been told for too long that he’s smart, and he’s bought into it. Ultron. Suit of armor around the world, protects the world, no more alien threats. It’s a simple concept on paper that fails in execution. So there are people with dangerous powers. Okay, we’ll make a set of laws to keep them from being dangerous, problem solved. But again, it isn’t.

Tony is not used to problems he cannot solve. He’s a genius, right? He can fix anything. He should be able to fix anything. That’s how he feels. But not everything is zeros and ones and circuits, things that can be fixed mechanically like his armors can. The people he wants to protect are not built that way. But he needs to feel like he’s doing something, because he’s terrified of what happens to the world if he doesn’t. So he creates these simple solutions to complex problems. The suit of armor, the Accords. They sound good in theory, but the problems they’re trying to solve are bigger than they are. And Tony, way back in IM 1, he sat back for years, clueless that his weapons were being used for bad things. He says it to Cap in CW. When he found out what his weapons were being used for, he went in and stopped it. Whether or not he should’ve known that already is a separate issue here. The point here is that when he found out, too late or not, he went in and did something about it.

Tony needs to do something about it. Again, go back to Cap in AoU, Tony’s nightmare sequence. Steve asks Tony why he didn’t save them. Tony’s ultimate nightmare is that he sits back and does nothing, and his inaction causes everyone to die. Which is where you get Ultron. Something he came up with because of what he saw in space in Avengers 1, then doubled down on in AoU. It’s where you get the Accords. Oops, he caused someone to die, he killed Charles Spencer. Must do something about that right now so it doesn’t happen again, and he won’t have to feel this guilt. He should be collaborating with others to come up with solutions (no Bruce in AoU doesn’t count because Bruce was dumb there), or at the very least, taking more time to think through the repercussions of the things he puts out there. But he doesn’t, because he’s got his savior complex that tells him that he alone can and must fix this, and because he’s too dumb to realize how not-smart he is in certain areas.

“We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I’m game.”

Isn’t that what he says in CW, or something very close to it? Whatever form that takes. That’s the issue, right there, whatever form that takes. Realistically, yes, there should be laws regarding people with powers, the same way there are special laws pertaining to people who carry guns, or people who are licensed to fly planes. You have a thing/can do a thing that not everyone else does, so there are regulations pertaining to that thing. Laws change with the times, they always have. Some new technology comes up, eventually there will be laws that regulate it. As there should be, honestly. The issue with the Accords, Steve’s issue with the Accords, was not the basic idea. He says as much. He says that it could work, but there would have to be safeguards. Safeguards that are not in the Accords that Tony wants him to sign.

It's not a matter of oh, fuck the law, there should be no law governing these people, they’re above it. The problem is that the law as it’s presented here is unjust. There’s what, a month between Lagos and Ross coming by to tell them about the Accords? A month is not enough time to properly analyze such a big issue, Especially when you’re reacting out of fear, which is what happened with Lagos. People died because of an Enhanced person, an Avenger, in this case. Lawmakers don’t want that to happen again, they especially don’t want the political shit storm that comes with it. Damn, we look like we were asleep at the switch here, not having anything to throw at this problem earlier. Quick, let’s throw together this thing so no one can say we’re not addressing the problem.

Patriot Act of 2001, anyone? 9/11 happened, the public were rightfully terrified, the US said oh man, these are unprecedented circumstances, we’ve never had this before. Don’t worry though, we’re on this, we’re protecting you. The reality being that that bill simply gave the government too much power, most of it being used against people who were not actually threats, and it’s debatable, to say the very least, whether or not that law helped more than it hurt.

No law is perfect. No law ever will be. It’s not possible. We still have to strive for perfection though, have to aim there so that the laws we get are as close to fair as possible. Tony’s a big deal. If not for his “whatever form that takes” attitude, he might’ve been able to use his influence to pressure lawmakers into coming up with a fairer bill. Hey, I’m me, the public loves me, I will endorse this bill publicly and work on getting the rest of the team to sign, but you need to change this and this and this first, or no deal. Instead, he took the easy way out, the quickest, easiest way for him to feel like he’s atoned for his sins without actually doing anything. Whatever form that takes.

Tony’s not wrong because he backs the creation of a law that addresses these things. He’s wrong because he says himself that he does not care what that law does, specifically, so long as it exists. He’s wrong because he violates said law upteen times during the movie, while preaching to team Cap about what assholes they are for not backing it. He’s wrong because he cares more about feeling as though he’s tackled a problem than he does about taking the time to make sure that the thing he’s proposing is actually a good idea. He’s wrong because of what he does with Bucky, though that’s honestly a separate issue, for the purposes of this discussion.

Anyway, that was longer than I ever wanted it to be. Damn. Next time you see a comment about CW being the reason people stan Tony, just remember there are other people out there who stopped stanning Tony because of that movie. Everyone’s entitled to see a piece of media however they see it, and although the Tony stans are often the loudest, there are plenty of like-minded people out there who share your take on events. Block who you need to, unfollow who you need to, blacklist what you need to, and don’t let them get you down.

Hang in there, and have an awesome day :)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

✨When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then, send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity✨

Hey Nonny!

Ooof this got lost in a bunch of stuff! Sorry about missing it! Only remembered it because I saw a similar ask on my dash hahha.

Seems like a good day to do this, since I'm so tired and exhausted and I need something to make me smile.

Dragons. Just everything and anything with dragons. I'm fascinated with them. If you buy or make me anything with dragons, I automatically love you.

I finally bought myself my iPad I've been saving up for for *literally* 3 years. Because I was saving up for a trip this year that I am no longer taking (was planning a 40th birthday trip to Disney, but now am not going to Florida at all until they get their shit together), I took some of that money also to buy it and bought a top-of-the-line one, the best I could buy at the local Apple store (1TB, 12.9inch Pro... you don't want to know how much it was :|). I love it so much, and it's nice to use it to get off my laptop. I mostly was prompted to buy it now because it was my 40th birthday gift to myself AND my Wacom driver kept crashing my laptop and I'm scared to reinstall it hahah.

Funko Pops. I LOVE them and hate them. I only collect ones from series and shows I like, but I have WAY too many of them that most are in storage right now. I want to get my own home soon so I can display them finally. I am constantly checking the app for upcoming Funkos, and then immediately check my local toy store for their preorders. My local toy store must love me, I have SO much on preorder right now.

Drawing and writing. I'm alright at both, but I've terrible imposter syndrome so I feel like I'm not good at either, mainly because I don't get much traction on either when I post. I've a few people who always help me get it out, but I these days I do it for me, because it makes me happy.

Video Games. Currently playing AC Valhalla, and I LOVE it so much that I ended up buying the Season Pass. I RARELY buy DLC. But the game was SO good and I wanted more, so I needed to play the expansions. PERSONALLY it's my fave of the new trilogy, and because it's a "current" game, it's always got new stuff. Love it. My fave game EVER is Kingdom Hearts 2. I love the story of it so much. Skyrim is a close second – I like Skyrim because I put in over 200 hours in ALL versions I've played, and still there's so much I have to do hahah. AC New Trilogy is third. I liked DA Inquisition but never finished it, and I still have a bunch of games I bought last Christmas I have yet to play, so my list may change... it's highly unlikely though.

So there you have it Nonny! I think it's good I waited until I was in a better mood to answer this... People stopped sending me these because I was always so negative in them, I guess... I hope I get more of things like this when my asks go back on.

Can I also give you 5 things I'm looking forward to? I feel like that will help me keep a positive attitude for a bit.

My current work contract is almost done, and I'll get some downtime before I have to start my normal day-job again. Looking forward to my weekends back.

My broken foot seems to be healing REALLY quick. Yesterday was the first day I woke up without it hurting, and today I've been able to hobble around on my heel (as per my doctor's instructions that I need to start doing once my foot stopped hurting). I'm optimistic that I'll be given the okay to drive again during my next appointment on the 30th. I am going nuts not being able to leave home on my own accord.

So in Canada, we have this thing where you can take out your RSPs tax-free for three things: Retirement, First Time Home Ownership, and Second Education. I set up my RSPs WAY back when I was making piss-poor salary about 10 years ago, and I wanted to make sure that I at LEAST could have SOMETHING when I retired. I recently discovered I maxed out the amount of money I can take out for First Time Homeownership in my RSP, so my plans to home ownership are looking more and more realistic. I just wish owning a home wasn't so expensive where I live (major city in one of the most expensive provinces in Canada). It's hard when you're single-income. Here's hoping that I can make it a reality soon. The idea is a condo, I just have very expensive tastes (safe-neighbourhoods apparently justify a 10,000$+ more in cost :/) so I keep saving into my various accounts and GICs that I set up after I finally was making a liveable salary, so as long as I keep being humble and living below my means, I can finally get what I save up for... if only the cost of housing would SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. It's gone up 100K in just a year. It's insane.

I also saved up enough for a new couch thanks to a second contract I took during my CURRENT contract, which paid me exactly enough for the couch I want to get (I may or may not have strategically negotiated that contract, LOL). I've been needing a new couch for years; the one I currently have, I have sentimental attachment to (it was my dad's and is over 20 years old) but working at home for almost 2 years, I've worn it out and it's SO VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. It's barely staying together. Looking forward to getting it :) ... Was waiting until cooler months since I have to put it together myself (IKEA) and my apt is SO hot in the summer, no way I can do it then.

Having my asks turned back on. I'm sorry, it sounds so cheesy and dumb, but I don't have many RL friends or connections, and you guys help me stay positive and help keep my negative thoughts at bay. The dark thoughts have been coming in a lot lately, to the point where I've convinced myself that no one missed me and no one cares, so it's helped having a few of my regulars and mutuals check up on me in DMs during all this. Thank you <3 I don't always reply back, but your love is appreciated <3

Thank you again Nonny for asking me this <3 And I hope you don't mind I answered more than you asked <3

[jamaisjoons]

hello whores 😍😍🤪🤪

HELLO ALL IT HAS BEEN A H O T MINUTE!!! Anyway this notice is to let you know that I will soon be coming back to tumblr!!! I’ve had the urge to write again recently after a while of not wanting to because I kinda burned out along with other stuff like health + home life + depression in general. I recently (yesterday) went to the aquarium and I just missed my man in intro her/lavender skies so much that I rly wanted to start writing it again isdiekdowkekr so hopefully by the coming weekend (no promises) I will have the first chapter up, so I hope u look forward to it!!

A few things about me coming back from my impromptu hiatus:

I have a LOT of asks in my inbox (800 or so last time I checked) and it’s honestly overwhelming. there’s honestly no plausible way I could answer everything in there and a lot of it is months old. Therefore, I’m gonna take some time to rift through my inbox and delete EVERYTHING. If I find something I want to answer I probably will but for the majority of it, I’m just gonna delete. I know this sucks and I do appreciate the time everyone spent sending me all the wonderful asks but I just want to be realistic. After I clear out my inbox, if you have sent me anything that I haven’t answered but you wanna send again, please feel free to!! Though I’m sure most of you have forgotten 𝘺𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 diendowkrkr

I also have a LOT of direct messages. Thank you to everyone who sent me something while I was gone. I promise I’m not ignoring you it’s just I have so much and I just wasn’t around. I’m gonna try my hardest to respond to you all as soon as possible but I also wanna be wary of how much time I give this app because honestly sometimes it feels like a chore/job. So please by patient with me I’m only one person running this blog 😭

Once I’m done clearing out my asks I will be turning on anon once again. I recently turned it off because. honestly. it’s exhausting arguing with white people over racism on the daily. especially when they don’t even have the balls to say it off anon. every time a matter of racism is brought up on here some white person wants to argue and I’m honestly done with it. I don’t care what your opinions are or if you disagree with anything I post or not. tbh you don’t even get to have an opinion or a voice on these matters but that’s another story. either way feel free to unfollow but I’m not gonna sit here and argue with you about what constitutes racism and how you personally feel victimised by a post created by a poc because you are ‘trying your hardest’ and ‘aren’t racist’ or how you ‘make positive changes’ or whatever the fuck you wanna say. anyone who wants to argue hence forth will just be blocked like I’m so tired of y’all I rly am.

once again pls don’t ask me about updates. it’ll come out when I feel like writing/updating. the only update you really need to know about right now is: I will be working on lavender skies whenever I can this week in hopes to get it up by next weekend hehe

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Sixteen | Dummy! (Part 1 of 3 | His POV)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

Alternate Chapter Title: Oh, Sugar Honey Iced Tea!

• • •

"You're the one they're dating, aren't you?" Jerry asks, obstructing the line. A few potential customers leave when they notice what's going on, not bothering to become involved in the mess. "How's that gonna even work, though? They're only into real men as far as I know. You're just bones and magic."

"This really ain't the place for us to be talkin' about this, pal," Sans replies, looking behind Jerry. "Just lemme do my job. We can talk about this after I clock out."

"Don't you have a lunch break? Let's talk by then."

"'Fraid I've already got plans for lunch."

"Does it involve them?"

"Maybe." The monster shoos him out of the hot dog stand, continuing to serve those in wait. "Dunno why you're still so hung up over this, though. Why don't ya move on?"

"That's easier to say than do." Again, Jerry obstructs the line, ignoring those who tell him to buzz off. He suspends himself over the cart and grabs Sans by the collar, pulling him off the ground until he's to his eye level. He narrows his eyes and tightens his grip on the monster's shirt, yet the latter remains calm. "How far have you gone with them? You're betraying our friendship."

Sans uses magic to break free from Jerry's hold. Then, he shrugs, hands slipping into his pockets. "Let's end it, then. Rather have that than let you keep on questionin' me over weird stuff, and then make me lose customers 'cuz ya keep on blockin' the line."

"Wouldn't have happened if you'd just tell me what's going on."

"I would," Sans comments, taking a water bottle and handing it to one of his clients. "But realistically speakin': What's it to ya? From what I've noticed so far, they've moved on from you, pal."

"But I haven't."

Chuckling, Sans takes a break from the conversation to look up at the sky, grey clouds blocking the sun and the heat. There are people around with their umbrellas already at hand. Those who don't have any rush to find someplace with a roof. "I'm gonna say this nicely, so hear me out." He emerges out of the hot dog stand and starts closing things up, not only due to the worsening weather, but it being barely ten minutes away from his lunch break. If Jerry was still at it, he needed that extra time to get him off his back. "I don't want any trouble, so stop tryna stir some. You had your chance, Jerry. Now it's none of your business who your ex chooses to date, and even less how far they've gone with that person."

"It should be if Frisk will be in the picture."

"Then take responsibility and look after them. You're worryin' too much about this."

"You don't know what I've been through."

"Maybe not, but I can at least tell you to try. Didn't you do the same when I was talkin' about hitting things off with (Y/N)?"

"That was a mistake." He scoffs, glaring at the monster. "Don't rub it in."

Sans finishes closing up right as the first few drops fall. A strong wind blows, wet earth and hot concrete wafting through the air. When he walks off -- Jerry now left behind -- Sans soon stops, hearing him mutter out a 'wait'. Then, he turns around, facing up at the human man, anger present in his posture, stiff and awkward. "Just... Just tell me if you're serious about them or not."

Though it pours, Sans is unable to move. He stays still and considers Jerry's words, thinking back on the night at the hotel and yesterday evening.

Sure, he found them attractive -- attentive and dedicated when it came to their role as a parent, too.

But why exactly did he want to be with them?

Despite his social circle, he mostly thrived alone, and taking up big responsibilities wasn't his thing, in truth. It often tired him out to so much as consider having a serious relationship with someone, and he couldn't even maintain his current friendships or the day-to-day life with his brother. He sounds a lot like the same man he's judging with those last lines, yet it doesn't feel right; that same sensation increases the more he considers his feelings and the situation overall. Living with his brother brought upon an inevitably energetic lifestyle. His personality was far different from Papyrus's, and -- on some occasions -- he didn't exactly feel his best self knowing those differences were still present between him and most of the people he knew.

So why was he getting himself into something as complex as a romantic relationship? 

Was he only curious about how it all felt, having heard others around him talk about love and intimacy ever since he could remember?

If that was the case, then it really wasn't okay for him to keep fooling around with them.

And judging by how stern and persistent Frisk was when it came to defending their primary care parent, they wouldn't be, either.

"You just think they're attractive, and that's about it. Right? They're only eye candy to you, I'm sure." Jerry comments, Sans's time having run out. "Betting you ten bucks you'll ditch them the second you get bored of them."

He doesn't hold back his tongue, replying with, "Talkin' from experience?"

With the rain now pouring too hard for either of them to continue, Jerry settles by glaring at the skeleton before giving his back to him. "You dodged my question," he remarks, snickering. "Let's have a talk when you've actually got an answer, and maybe then you can go ahead and judge me all you want, bro." Silence arrives, broken with, "In the end, you're just as bad as me."

Sans stays quiet, analyzing the bit of truth in Jerry's words.

Before Frisk freed his kind, how many times didn't he simply stand by the sidelines, watching as fallen human after fallen human got hurt, sought, and wounded -- until their passing? 

He didn't hurt anybody, but then he also didn't help anybody either. Things had gone in a similar way with Frisk; he'd only watched over them every so often, fulfilling Toriel's promise of not hurting any human, but half-heartedly -- seeing as he'd never bothered to help them much, either.

What guaranteed he wouldn't do the same thing here at the Surface, and even more with a human crush he was only recently getting to know?

"Sans, you're soaked!"

Speaking of them, Sans sets those thoughts aside and looks up to see an umbrella covering him up. (Y/N) stands under it and close to him, brushing shoulders as they escort him off to drier land. Their touch sends electricity down his body, yet he forces himself to ignore it, a flash of guilt overcoming those wants. He accompanies them under a bus stop, its roof providing partial cover from the rain. They keep the umbrella straight even as they rummage through their belongings, looking intent to take out something from there. "Hold on a second," they say, retrieving a pink and polka-dotted handkerchief from one of their bag's tiny side pockets. "It's… not really much, but it's better than staying all wet."

Sans nods, still too lost in his thoughts to respond properly. He takes off his jacket and grabs the piece of cloth, quirking an eye socket when he sees the human move their gaze elsewhere. "...Your shirt's a bit thin," they comment, as if reading his mind. If it embarrassed them, it was hard to tell with their voice, too quiet for him to catch onto any change in tone. "Should we find somewhere else to stay? The sky just keeps getting worse."

Almost seeming to set those priorities straight, the weather responds to their comment by lashing out more rain, stronger than before. A car drives past, sending a torrent of water at his and everybody else's direction, holding little regards to speed, puddles, and those nearby. He reacts by instinct, casting a quick shield to prevent everyone around from getting wet. As he steps back, his shoulder brushes with theirs again and he's forced to suppress another shudder. His soul and body both long for their presence; his brief time with them at the hotel has now become a faint yet pleasant memory he wanted to keep and cherish whenever possible. "Let's go," he replies. Then, he reaches out for the umbrella without looking.

He grabs their hand instead -- by accident, that is. 

To his surprise, they don't pull back, and he follows their gaze to see them looking up at the sky. "...It's getting worse," he hears them say, a hint of sadness showing up on their tone, words muttered. "Let's go to my place." Their comment is pure survival instinct more than anything suggestive. He sees their chest rise and fall at quicker intervals, hinting at panic. "I need to go get Frisk if the weather keeps up like this." 

Their voice breaks and their hand stays with his. Briefly, he wonders why they're scared over the bad weather, that being something mostly he was known for. 

"Aren't they with Toriel today?" Sans asks, trying to lighten up the mood. "The kid's safe if you're worried about 'em."

(Y/N) remains quiet, observing the rain before saying, "I… I lost them in a storm like this one the last time they ran away." They huff, not in annoyance, but in fright -- based on the shudder their body makes. They press themselves closer to him, the height difference making their arm brush with his shoulder. Their head rests against the top of his, tilted over to the side. "I'm worried they'll do it again with what… happened yesterday."

He slips his free hand back into his pocket, still too awkward to pull his hand away from the umbrella. "Do ya really think they'll do somethin' like that again?" It's an unforeseen question, one he feels imprudent over asking. Even so, there's no turning back now, and he can only try to soften up his words better. "They looked pretty sorry for doin' that twice."

"Still…" They press closer to him, holding his waist. Judging by how careful their touch is and how little their expression shifts from their sorrow, he shakes off the possibility of this being one of their attempts at paying back at him for his flirting. "I'm worried." Their hand slips away, leaving the ghost of their warmth on his bones. "We should get going. You're still soaked." They smile, continuing with, "Thank you, by the way. It was a lot better having you pick us up, rather than taking the bus at seven."

Finally capable, Sans pulls his hand back and follows them out of the bus stop, finding additional coverage under the roofs of nearby buildings. "No problem," he says, looking up at them. Only the human and himself can be seen walking; the rest of the people around either make a run for it, or take cover inside shops and offices. "That's what we're all here for, pal."

They smile; all the uncertainty from before seems to have never existed with how bright their expression is. Then, they nod and bump their hip against his. "I mean it," they say, lips tugging upwards. "I, well… I still feel weird over our date, but in a good way, though."

• • •

He arrives at their home an hour after. 

The weather's still at it, though compared to previous times, there's no thunder to worry about yet. All sorts of leaves litter the grass and the roads around, the strength of the wind being responsible for it. A few car alarms go off as debris falls over them, leaving their owners to try bringing control over the situation. 

When he makes it with them to the front door, they open it up in no time at all and bundle him up with a towel as soon as they step inside. 

"You should shower and change, just in case," they say, slipping off their shoes. They set the pair aside next to the welcome mat, and he figures he should do the same, too. "I'm not sure if monsters can get sick this way, but you should head over to the bathroom while I look for some clothes."

It's only when they turn to him that the situation finally gets to him. Captivated by their words, he looks up at them with a grin, that alone resulting to be enough for them to freeze and stay still, like a deer in the middle of a road. "Taking this dating thing seriously, huh?" he asks, stepping closer to their side. They don't take a step back, nor do they glare, looking as lost as humans often did when they fell Underground. "I'm flattered."

When they do show their anger, it conflicts with a frown and watery eyes -- far different from their usual self. Even when they'd become frustrated confronting Alphys and Undyne about their lives underground, they hadn't shown sorrow like this one. It's distant and concerning enough for him to want to back away from his frequent teasing.

(Y/N) takes a step forward, the clicking of their shoes now gone. Then, they lower their gaze and their frown quivers as they try not to let their tears fall. "I…" They hold on to his shoulder, bringing him closer as they do the same. Their eyes narrow and their unknown conflict shows through the wrinkles on their forehead and the subtle pout of their mouth. With how close they are, it wouldn't take much for their lips to brush with his teeth. 

Just as he feels their arm around his waist, they pull back, looking elsewhere as they backtrack on their steps. "...I need to ask you something," they say, still facing away. All of a sudden, their conflict dissipates and anger returns to their posture. They cross their arms, finding strength again. "Can... Can you stay over so we can talk?"

Sans nods, keeping his cool. He tries not to think back too much on how close they just were or how they'd brushed off their sadness like it was nothing, yet it's hard to do. His soul pounds as he holds them back with a 'wait', refraining from physical contact. "You doin' alright, (Y/N)?" he asks, holding back a breath. "We can still talk about yesterday, if you wanna. Maybe we can't go anywhere with the weather right now, but I can make us that dinner I promised you last time."

Their lips form a firm line as they consider his offer.

Seconds later, a smile shows on their face. They then look down at their phone, checking the time. "Sounds good." They grin, a stifled laugh following it. "Now go change, Sans. We can't keep this up if you get sick!"

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Shyan Mafia AU - Chapter One

This is the first chapter of my first Shyan fic, so any comments/notes would be helpful. I'm currently waiting on an email from A03 to make a new account, so when it's up I'll start uploading this there too.

A couple people asked about this too being @watcher-savage and @celestial-e I apologise in advance for my inability to write chapters less than 5000 words haha

This is a mafia AU where Ryan is a newbie in the mob, looking to gain protection. He’s sent after a guy known only as ‘Legs’ to take care of business... only things aren’t so simple as that. Ryan must lure this ‘Legs’ guy out to some place quiet... but he’s not the only guy in town who’s after him.

Life hadn't been easy for Ryan Bergara. He'd been on his own most of his life, not many friends and he had no family that he was particularly close with. Ryan didn't know what had happened to his parents or younger brother, only that they were six feet under and not by natural causes. It had happened one night when he wasn't home, instead he was out partying with his old friends from college. He'd come home to a sight that caused many sleepless nights, a sight decorated with shades of red that he could never wash out of his clothes.

Ryan had been a paranoid man from that night onwards, afraid he was next on the list and he would be murdered some day soon. It lead him to lead a sheltered life, shut away from friends and remaining family. If he was on his own maybe people would forget he existed entirely. Being alone kept him alive, despite the loneliness it brought him.

It was this loneliness that eventually brought Ryan to a decision that would change his life forever.

Ryan needed protection and he craved a family like the one he used to know and love, and there was a way to kill two birds with one stone;  he did have to admit he must have been crazy to come to the conclusion however. His dad was a wealthy, powerful man, he and his wife had ties to higher ups that they kept secret. Ryan knew they weren't just rumours made up by people in the street, after all he'd been at family dinners where strangers in sharp suits were invited, he'd overheard meetings and phone calls. It was certainly no secret to him that his family were part of the Californian Mafia.

During the day his dad was a humble dentist but by night he was out in a tailored suit, attending meetings and 'taking care of business'. Ryan's mom always joked that his dad was part of the men in black and that he used to go out and hunt aliens and as a child he had believed her. As he grew older and pieced together the truth Ryan thought it was pretty cool what his dad did, although that novelty came to an abrupt end the night they lost their lives.

It was a longshot, but he hoped that the men who used to come round his house for dinner would take him in, train him up, and give him the protection that he needed to sleep at night. He could be brave if he was in the mob, he had to be, and maybe he could finally get some sleep at night. If he couldn't all those years of shutting himself away would have been pointless and Ryan didn't ever want to admit that to himself.

That was how he found himself sat in a leather armchair in a small office, sat opposite a man he recognised from his youth. The man was much older now, hair grey and he wore glasses that weren't previously needed, but he still had the same believable kindness behind his eyes - though Ryan knew better than to trust that kindness.

"I'm glad you came to us Ricky, we can give you the protection you need." The elderly man sat behind the desk spoke, his voice smooth and soothing. He may not look it, but the man in front of him was the big boss of the Californian Mafia, overseeing the ins and outs of the entire organisation; he was known only as Father Thomas. He was a man no one wanted to cross.

"Um, my name is Ryan, sir." Ryan corrected him, realising afterwards that he probably should have known better. If the movies were anything to go off he shouldn't talk back to these kinds of people.

"Ryan, my child, you don't want to give out your identity to men who are going to use it against you. From now on if someone asks for your name, you tell them its Ricky: Ricky Goldsworth." The Father had a point, although Ryan assumed it would take him a while to get used to that alias - he would probably have to write it down. "You're new here and you want our protection... but not everything is free, Ricky."

"I'll do anything, sir." He was honest when he said 'anything'. Ryan wouldn't have resorted to the mafia if he wasn't willing to leave his old miserable life behind him.

Father Thomas leaned forward, elbows resting on the dark oak desk and his chin atop his interlaced fingers. "Anything?" He looked Ryan in his eyes, peering deep into his very soul. "Here's the thing, Ricky. I believe you when you say you'll do anything, I do... but I don't know if my good friends will be willing to back you up. So I've got a little job for you. It's a risky job, you'll be tested for sure, but if you pull it off I can make you very wealthy very quickly... and throw in a couple of trained assistants of mine to keep you safe at night." The Father leaned back again much to Ryan's relief and opened up one of the heavy looking drawers on the desk, pulling out a large, beige binder and flipping through before taking a page out.

The paper had a personal file, a photo attached with a paperclip at the top. There wasn't much known about him, no name to call him; only an alias was written down. "This here guy is a bit of a troublemaker for us. We've lost many good men to him, he's cunning and has a perfect record when it comes to his work."

"And you want me to..."

"To take care of business, yes." Ryan suddenly wasn't so sure. He picked up the photo of the man. He had dark hair slicked back and had a slender build. He was wearing a navy suit with a white shirt only half buttoned up and sunglasses covering his eyes. "We don't know all that much about this guy, only that he goes by the nickname 'Legs' and that he's extremely hard to catch. If you go after him your loyalty and dedication to us will be tested, naturally, as well as your skill and methods. I can't promise you'll ever come back though... so what's it going to be, Ricky?"

Ryan thought over carefully. He couldn't deny his heart was pounding so loud in his ears that Father Thomas could probably hear it, nor that his hands shook slightly as he held the photo. He was terrified of what this 'Legs' could do to him, or what he had done to others. He was also terrified of his own desperation. He was scared of how tired of being paranoid he was, how tired he was of being scared and alone. If things didn't work out and he ended up getting killed... would that really be so bad?

A snarky voice in the back of Ryan's mind told him he should have probably gone back to his therapist instead of paying the mob a visit, but it was far too late to listen to logic and reasoning now.

"Where was he last sighted?" Ryan bravely spoke up, gaining a small smile from the man in front of him. Ryan knew whichever way things went it would be a win-win for him - though deep down he had a feeling things were more realistically lose-lose, it wouldn't hurt to at least try.

"Yesterday in New Orleans, that's when that photo was taken." Ryan placed the photo down on the desk and looked over the rather empty file, he'd be going into this practically blind. "We've got an unused hotel in that area you can use to take care of him, one of my boys will give you the keys. We can get you a flight too, private of course."

"New Orleans..." It was a long way from home, although Ryan was almost glad of that. He'd only left his home state of California a few times and only ever as a child, on holidays and such. Hopefully leaving the state would do his mental health some good. "When's the flight?"

"We can get you in the air by six in the morning, you'll have all day to get your bearings and get to work." Ryan hadn't expected it to be so soon, although he supposed he didn't have to make up any excuses to anyone about where he was going. His job at the local theatre realistically wouldn't get him anywhere anyway and they could easily replace him in an instant. He had hoped one day to be making his own movies, or at the very least work on big productions, but it was a difficult industry to crack.

"Six AM..." He nodded to himself. "Okay... I'll do it."

Ryan was restless that evening, barely touching his bland microwave meal and constantly reorganising his suitcase, filling it with only the essentials and his best sneakers. He showered and sat on the edge of his bed beside his opened suitcase until early hours in the morning, going over what he had to do. The plan was relatively simple: find this 'Legs' guy, take him to the hotel and... it was the last step Ryan was having trouble coming to terms with.  He knew he would have to kill some guy he had never met. He probably had a family, maybe a wife or a child - at the very least he probably lived alone with a cat. Could he really do that? Could he really take someone's life?

He had opened his laptop and looked at Google Maps for a solid hour, trying his best to memorise the streets of New Orleans, the routes he would have to take to get to the old hotel the mafia had given him the key for. He didn't know how he was even find 'Legs', New Orleans is a big city after all, though he had been tipped about a diner that the man had been seen frequenting over the past few weeks so hopefully that was a start. Part of him hoped he never ran into him and that he would just have to live a quiet life in Louisiana, surely the deep south couldn't be all bad.

Hoping that he had everything memorised, Ryan decided that there was no point in getting any sleep now, he could just hopefully sleep during the three hour flight. He changed into something that would make him look like he was going on a business trip, something the guys at the office had informed him would be his cover up. If anyone asked him he was taking care of the hotel to prepare it for new ownership, that was all they needed to know. He settled on a silver suit and with a black tie, hoping he didn't look too affiliated with any gang; he didn't want to go over the top and wear a fedora with sunglasses, that was way too cliché.

By four in the morning there was a knock on his door and before he knew it he was on a private jet making his way to New Orleans. Ryan watched as the sleepy city slowly awoke, the sun slowly making it's way above the horizon. It didn't take long for his lack of sleep to catch up with him and a few minutes of resting his eyes managed to turn into him sleeping through his short flight. The next thing he knew was that he was being prodded awake by the pilot.

The pilot in front of him was a, quite frankly, dodgy looking, slender individual. His dark hair was greasy and slicked back and his eyes were just as dark as his hair. His skin was tan with little blemishes on his sunken face and his nose was crooked, his teeth matching the nature of his nose and were in desperate need of a dentist. He wore a pinstripe suit, black with thin cream stripes, over-polished shiny black dress shoes and a cufflink shaped like a red dice adorned the white shirt that peaked out from his slightly short sleeves. He was almost the complete opposite of Father Thomas.

"We're here." He sounded just as slimy as he looked, Ryan couldn't believe he actually fell asleep knowing it was only the two of them on the plane; he would be sure to check for any scars when he was alone later on to see if he had any missing kidneys. "You know what you're doing, right?"

"Yeah." A simple yet effective lie.

"Good. Then get off my jet." He ushered Ryan and his luggage out, the poor man still half asleep and aching from sitting in one spot for three hours. "If you by some miracle get the job done give Father Thomas a call, I'll come back and fetch you. Good luck."

With that hurried goodbye, Ryan was left on his own in a city he didn't know. He knew he should have been nervous, probably terrified given what he was supposed to be doing there, yet the only thing he felt was hungry. He'd skipped breakfast and barely ate any of his dinner the night before. He decided the best thing to do was find somewhere to get a bite to eat and ask around for any clues where to find this 'Legs' guy; Father Thomas had informed him of the perfect place.

Diners were always a hit and miss experience, although the small building that had been recommended by Father Thomas seemed to house a semi-decent establishment. It had a pleasant scent of coffee and bacon, mixed with a hint of pine from the décor. It was cosy, welcoming and much to Ryan's relief: empty. Not to mention, apparently 'Legs' had been sighted coming in and out of there all week. It was the perfect spot to start looking.

He sat at one of the barstools and looked up at the menu, mouth already beginning to salivate at just the stock photos of the food they served. "Hiya, hon, what can I get you?" A young, blonde waitress appeared from the beaded curtains, a smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes; a symptom of an early shift in the quieter outskirts of the city.

"Hi, can I get a black coffee and some pancakes please." At this point Ryan would eat anything, even if it came out of the trash.

"Sure thing, hon." She scribbled down the order and took the payment before pouring Ryan his coffee from the glass pot. The first sip burned his tongue but it helped wake him up a little. A few minutes later the waitress returned with a plate of pancakes drizzled in maple syrup with bacon placed on top: it looked picturesque.

"Thank you." Ryan remembered the manners his mom had taught him many years ago before shoving far too much into his mouth, closing his eyes as he savoured his first mouthful. Before he could ask the woman about places of interest that may attract mob guys or murderers (or both) the bell on the door rang, meaning another customer had walked in. Ryan didn't turn around to meet them, instead taking another sip of his coffee.

The customer sat two seats away from him, the waitress smiling at him the same way she had at Ryan. "Hiya hon, the usual?"

"Yes please." The man spoke in a quiet but kind voice, although his accent stuck out to Ryan. It wasn't that it was a strong accent, quite the opposite actually. It certainly wasn't from around here. "Thank you."

The waitress disappeared back into the kitchen, leaving the two men in silence. Ryan took another sip of his coffee as the man tried to start up a conversation. "Pancakes? Now that's in poor taste. It's waffles all the way." Ryan almost spit out his coffee - not at the comment but at the man's appearance.

This was the guy from the photo: this was 'Legs'.

"You alright? Don't choke." He laughed at Ryan, his eyes crinkling up at the corners as he did. Ryan had to fight every instinct not to bolt out of the diner there and then. Here he was, trying to enjoy his breakfast and now all of a sudden he was having a conversation with a murderer... well, he would have to respond in order to have a conversation.

"Uh..." Ryan struggled to find the words to say. "Pancakes are way better." He settled on, 'Legs' shaking his head and turning back to the waitress as she brought him a plate of waffles before disappearing back into the kitchen. "Is that how you like to talk to strangers?"

"Oh, sorry..." He seemed to become shy all of a sudden as he realised his conversation starter had been a bit rude. "You don't sound like you're from around here. You here on business?" It was a fair question to someone who was dressed in a suit although Ryan could feel beads of sweat forming at the back of his neck. Did he know? Could this guy sniff out someone in the mob at a glance? He was a professional from what Ryan had heard, for all he knew the guy had spotted the plane landing and followed him there, planning to kill him behind the diner.

"Yeah... something like that." Ryan cleared his throat and steadied his hands on his coffee cup. They had begun to shake, betraying him when he needed to remain calm.

'Legs' hummed a response and begun digging into his waffles. Ryan needed to think quick. He needed a reason to keep him around, not let him out of his sight. The hotel key Father Thomas had given him felt like it was burning into his leg like a beating heart under the floorboards, reminding him of all his troubles. He was starting to panic already. He really wasn't cut out for this despite his efforts to try and convince himself otherwise. "Hey, don't mean to sound rude but are you alright? You don't look well all of a sudden."

"I'm fine." Ryan's voice shook. Shit. He couldn't afford a panic attack. "I just need some air." Ryan stood from his seat and rushed out the door, his knees feeling like jelly. He took in a few deep breaths as he leaned against the wall, hoping he was just far enough outside that 'Legs' couldn't see him. Fuck. If Ryan couldn't even sit next to the guy and have breakfast and a friendly chat how the hell was he supposed to lure the guy to some abandoned hotel and murder him in cold blood?

"You want me to ask the waitress for some water or something?" 'Legs' poked his head around the door, "You gonna hurl, dude?" 'Oh great', Ryan thought begrudgingly: 'of course he's a nice guy'. No, no he isn't, Ryan had to remind himself. This guy has killed people.

"I'm okay." Ryan kept lying to himself, lowering himself so he was crouching down, his back against the wall. 'Legs' crouched down next to him, his hand on his back to try and comfort him.

"Just breathe, yeah? You're alright." 'Legs' seemed to recognise the signs of an oncoming panic attack. "What's your name? Have you got someone I can call?" 'Stop being so fucking nice', Ryan internally groaned. He shook his head, closing his eyes and just focusing on his breathing. "Okay, I'll stay here with you. Talk you out of it... uh, well shit I can't think of anything to say." He chuckled in such a nonchalant way that made Ryan want to punch the guy.

"Pancakes are better." Ryan managed to mutter in between breaths, deciding to just say anything to change the subject and take his mind off his paranoia. 'Legs' wheezed at that, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You believe what you wanna believe, man." He adjusted his position so that he was sat down properly, legs crossed in front of him. "You're wrong, but hey, opinions and all that baloney."

Once Ryan felt like he was going to be okay, that he wasn't going to have a complete breakdown in front of his future murder victim he looked up to the sky, still avoiding looking at 'Legs'. "My name's Ricky by the way... Ricky Goldsworth." Ryan needed to try and make acquaintances with him while he could; it would hopefully make the upcoming murderous meet and greets less awkward.

"Goldsworth?" He seemed intrigued by that. "Cool name." Ryan was glad he hadn't just seen straight through him immediately. "Nice to meet you Ricky." He held out his hand to shake, Ryan took it and tried to keep his grip firm despite his hands still shaking. He also had to play it off like he hadn't noticed that 'Legs' had completely avoided telling him his name.

"Your breakfast is gonna go cold." Ryan told him to try and change the subject. "Mine too... let's go back inside."

"You alright to stand? You looked a bit wobbly on your feet just now." Ryan was tempted to just put a bullet in the guys head there and then and get his suffering over with. Of course he ended up with the crazed murderer who just happened to be a total sweetheart.

"I'm fine. Come on." Ryan pushed himself up and lead 'Legs' back inside, the two taking the seats they were previously in. Ryan's coffee was still pretty warm and his pancakes hadn't quite turned to soggy mush yet.

"Sorry if I said something to set you off, by the way. I didn't mean to freak you out." 'Legs' spoke in a hushed voice, as though he was trying not to induce more panic into Ryan.

"It's alright... it's been a long night. I'm just on edge I guess." Ryan took a bite of his breakfast, he wasn't that hungry anymore but he also knew he would regret it later if he didn't finish it. "It's not your fault." Ryan took another sip of coffee to wash it down.

"Well, I don't know if you're free sometime soon but there's a nice bar in town, I was planning on going out tonight if you wanted to join me." That was the second time 'Legs' had made him choke on his coffee. He hadn't expected to be asked out by the guy he was supposed to kill. "Uh, well, you don't have to if you don't want to!" He quickly gave Ryan the option to turn him down, his cheeks bright red and he couldn't meet his eyes.

This was perfect. 'Legs' had practically signed his own death warrant... granted that Ryan could actually pull the job off. Everything had fallen into place however, he would be an idiot to turn it down.

"That sounds... that sounds great actually." Ryan tried not to sound so relieved that he didn't have to make up some bullshit excuse to stalk this guy without it being weird.

"Really?" God, Ryan felt like such an asshole. He wasn't stupid, he knew what was happening. 'Legs' was showing interest, he was inviting him out and was shy when he asked the question. Now 'Legs' was feeling immense relief that Ryan had offered to spend the night getting to know him. He was leading him on and wouldn't even get the chance to let him down gently. "Shit, I didn't actually expect you to say yes! I mean, on my part even I can say this is bad timing!" He was giddy like a child, not helping the sinking feeling in Ryan's stomach.

"I'm always up for a good time." Ryan played along to the best of his ability. This guy was digging his own grave without Ryan even having to try, he didn't want to let the opportunity go to waste. "I've got to... there's this hotel I'm looking after at the moment. It's gonna be refurbished and I've got this job to basically check in and make sure none of the shit gets stolen. I can meet you after work if you want?"

"You're looking after a hotel? You're not gonna go all Jack Torrance on me and come after me with an axe, are you?" Even if it was a great movie he was referencing Ryan couldn't help but nervously chuckle at the irony.

"Wouldn't dream of it." 'Just drink your coffee and don't make eye contact Ryan', he thought to himself in desperation. He picked up his napkin and took a pen out of his blazer pocket. He'd childishly put it there in case he needed to go all spy-movie-action-scene and use the pen as a weapon, but he supposed using it for it's intended purpose would do for now. "Here's the address." Ryan had memorised it off by heart after fretting over his plans the night before. "Meet me about seven-ish?"

"Seven-ish." 'Legs' spoke aloud his mental note as he took the napkin and glanced at the address. "This isn't that far from the bar actually." That was lucky for Ryan, he wouldn't have to bring 'Legs' half way across the city just to kill him.

Ryan's plan was pretty simple, if not slightly manipulative - though he decided that if he was plotting to kill someone he would have to put his morals on the back bench for the time being. He would go out for a few drinks with 'Legs', get him to loosen up, bring him back to the hotel, lock the door so no one would accidentally wander in on his murder scene and then take care of him in the basement. One flaw he found with his plan was that he realised he still hadn't been told a name for his victim, not a nickname or initials: nothing. Ryan was starting to wonder if he was the one manipulating the situation, that he was the one in control... he had a feeling 'Legs' had his own ulterior motives behind inviting him out.

By the time seven rolled around Ryan almost felt sick with nerves. After preparing everything he needed in the hotel he was sat on the steps at the front door, staring at his blank phone screen in front of him to seem less conspicuous when he heard a call for his name - well, the name he had given out as a cover.

"Ricky?" Ryan looked up and smiled at the man before him. 'Legs' had changed out of the striped hoodie and jeans he wore that morning, he was wearing a dark blue shirt with red Hawaiian flowers on it which caught Ryan's attention. He'd never actually seen someone pull off a flower shirt like that and not look like a dad on vacation.

"Hey." Ryan stood up and climbed down the stairs, feeling slightly intimidated by the guy. He found it strange that he was wary of a paper thin guy in a flower shirt, but when put into the context that said guy towered over him in height he found himself feeling strangely inferior - that and he was a fucking murderer, Ryan had to keep reminding himself of that fact.

With a nervous breath 'Legs' gave a smile, "Shall we get going? The bar's down this way." Ryan smiled and nodded, following the taller man down the street

'Time to act your heart out' Ryan thought to himself, 'Play it cool, don't be suspicious'.

The bar was starting to fill with patrons though it didn't seem to be as busy as some of the others, Ryan was glad of that. The less people that saw him there the better. 'Legs' took the gentlemanly approach and offered to buy the first round, Ryan watching closely to make sure his drink hadn't been spiked before taking his first sip.

It had been a while since Ryan had been out like this, he had missed it if he was honest. The last time he was out drinking he... Ryan shook away the thought with a frown. He wouldn't think about that tonight, not now that he was about to cause someone else to find their family member brutally murdered.

'Legs' had noticed Ryan's frown and looked nervous, as though he was calculating the right thing to say. This night must have been important to him, he was trying so hard not to mess it up. Ryan felt immense guilt but knew he couldn't wallow in it all night. He needed the night to go well too, given that he needed to get him back to the hotel. He hoped it would be willing and not Ryan dragging him back kicking and screaming.

"Thanks for coming out tonight." 'Legs' started, talking over the music with his best efforts. "I mean, I really thought you were gonna turn me down."

"I needed something like this, I should be the one thanking you." Ryan wished he meant that, he wished he was just out on what felt like a date - it probably would have been considered one in Ryan's mind but 'Legs' still had neglected to give him a name. It was a sobering reminder that the man in front of him could very well have his own plans of murder. His nice guy act was so cliché anyway, serial killers were always known like that. It was the whole Norman Bates schtick, the type of guy who wouldn't hurt a fly, socially awkward yet charming. Ryan hoped he wouldn't get stabbed to death by this guy dressed as his mother later on, though it would certainly be an unexpected twist to his evening.

"Is it a tough life, looking after hotels I mean?" He asked, taking a sip of his drink, "Must get pretty lonely having all those rooms to yourself."

"Yeah... it can be." Ryan was used to loneliness, it was just part of his daily life by this point. He supposed if the whole hotel business was his real job he wouldn't think it any different to how he felt when he was sat at home on a Friday night watching movies all on his own rather than reuniting with his college friends and going out to get completely shitfaced. "What do you do, I don't think I asked?" Ryan hoped that question wouldn't scare him off.

"I, uh... I'm actually unemployed at the moment." He was avoiding eye contact again, Ryan knew he was lying anyway. "I'm here on a sort of midlife crisis, trying to see if I can make it on my own sorta thing... it's not going well." He laughed it off and took another, longer sip of his drink.

"You're on your own out here?" Interesting, that meant there would be no one around to search for him if he suddenly went missing. Ryan had interpreted him saying he was unemployed as he wasn't out on a job for the mob in New Orleans. He was just as alone out here as Ryan was. This whole situation just seemed so perfect, though he was wary of how careless it was on 'Legs' part.

"Yeah." Was his only response.

"You must be pretty lonely too then." Ryan didn't like to empathise with a killer, though he knew in just a few short hours he would be one himself. "Guess we can be lonely together." Ryan raised his glass, 'Legs' picking his own up and tapping it on Ryan's, the sound of the clink breaking through the music with ease.

Ryan had anticipated the night to go poorly. He had assumed he would be too nervous to drink or talk for half the night or perhaps for his date to figure out his true identity through some offhanded comment and ditch him or put a bullet between his eyes. What he hadn't expected however was to actually have a good time with him.

The two of them seemed to get along just fine, conversing in topics such as old shitty horror movies that were just charming enough to be enjoyable - or the ones that had practical effects so terrible they were actually hilarious to watch. 'Legs' had listened to Ryan ramble on about how much he loved Disneyland and hadn't been in years, in return Ryan tried his best to pay attention to some anecdotes 'Legs' had from an old D&D game he had played with his friends back in his hometown.

As the number of drinks piled up Ryan actually started to let his guard down, relaxing in his seat and laughing along at the dumb jokes 'Legs' cracked every other minute. He had to hand it to the guy: he was pretty funny. With his guard down he hadn't quite expected 'Legs' to smoothly place his hand over Ryan's as he was fidgeting with his glass, nor had he expected himself not to pull away quickly.

This was his chance.

"Hey... how about we drink up and get out of here, yeah?" Ryan suggested, 'Legs' quirking an eyebrow at him and downing the rest of his drink. "We can go back to the hotel I'm looking after, it's completely empty. It'll be just you and me."

"Lead the way."

The two of them headed out of the bar and into the cool night air, Ryan holding his hand and pulling him along through the crowd as to not lose him. The streets were bustling with the city's nightlife, the people passing them were either already drunk and loud or on their way to join in. Ryan really had missed this, the buzz of it all, but that wasn't what he was here to do, as much as he was hoping that maybe he could spend a couple nights with this guy, go out partying and make stupid decisions together. At the same time however, the last thing Ryan wanted to do was form an attachment; he was already getting dangerously close to that.

"Here we are." Ryan struggled to fit the key into the front door ten minutes later, mentally cursing to his past self for having one round too many. He hated that he'd actually had a good time with 'Legs' tonight. He hated how now it was over, now was the time where 'Legs' whole life was over. The price Ryan was paying to have protection didn't seem worth it all of a sudden, but he'd come this far... giving up now wouldn't sit right with him.

"Give me a room with a view, Goldsworth." 'Legs' put his hand on Ryan's hip, leaning into him and breathing against the back of his ear. It sent shivers down his spine. It took all he had not to throw his plans out the window and lead him to one of the rooms upstairs.

"Got a better idea." Ryan turned around to him. "You said you didn't want me to for obvious reasons... but what if I did go all 'Jack Torrance'? What I'm trying to say is I bet the basement is romantic as fuck." 'Legs' burst out laugh at that, his head dipping and eyes crinkling into thin lines as they had done many times that night.

"You know what? You've won me over." He let Ryan take him by the hand and guide him towards the heavy metal door that lead down a flight of stairs to a mostly empty room, just a boiler and some electronics  that Ryan had no idea the purpose for - probably a fuse box or something. The only light in the room was a simple bulb hanging from a chord on the ceiling, fitting for a room that was soon to house a murder.

The second the door was closed behind 'Legs' Ryan struck out, grabbing the pole he had set out earlier when he was rehearsing this moment over and over again like some crazed fanatic and striking the taller man on the side of the head. It knocked him out in an instant, 'Legs' dropping like a sack of bricks and tumbling down the stairs. Ryan winced, it looked like it hurt. 'Forget your fucking morals, man, you're trying to kill him'. Ryan stared down at his unmoving body from atop the stairs, his breathing heavy in his chest. It was terrifying to him just how easy that was, how simple it had all been. This poor guy was just looking to have a good time and now he was getting murdered for it.

Acting quickly, just in case 'Legs' woke up half way through, Ryan rushed down the stairs and grabbed the chair and the rope had set aside, hauling up the man's deadweight and tying him to the chair. He inspected the wound on his head, blood pooling around the edges but not gushing down like he had imagined it would in his rehearsals.

"Okay... okay, right... what now?" Ryan frantically looked around the room as if looking for clues. "Oh, gun, right." Ryan took the gun he had concealed under the boiler, dusting it off and checking to see if it was loaded. "Right... now wait for him to wake up I guess."

Ryan took the spare chair he had previously placed in the basement just in case things escalated and he had to knock him out with a chair instead of the pole, lucky the craftwork had stayed in one piece. He sat opposite 'legs', hunching over slightly and looking at the gun in his hand. It rattled slightly as his hand shook, looking out of place in his grip. Ryan knew this wasn't right, he knew deep down that this was only going to make his life worse but he was in far too deep now for retrospective analysis.

"Stop shaking." He whispered to himself, using his free hand to wipe the sweat off his forehead. He was panicking again. "Fuck..." He couldn't help but think about the last time he was panicking, crouched down outside the diner this morning. 'Legs' had been there for him then, a comforting presence that had managed to calm him down despite being the reason he was panicking in the first place. He felt like he needed that now.

As if on cue 'Legs' stirred, a faint groan escaping his lips as he struggled to find consciousness. He tilted his head up slowly with a wince, eyes squinting as he looked directly at Ryan. "Huh?" He struggled against the ropes he was tied to, looking at them in confusion as if he couldn't understand why he was now tied up. He seemed to wake up a little more after his brain tried to piece together what was going on, the tall man looking around with a pained expression before his eyes settled back on Ryan.

"Hey sleepyhead." Ryan stood up, putting his acting chops to best use. 'Whatever you say just make it intimidating' he repeated in his head like a mantra. "Have a nice nap?"

"Ricky?" 'Legs' sounded woozy, "What's going on... is this a kink thing or something? I'm not one to judge or anything but some consent would have been nice."

"Wha-" Ryan was baffled by the stupidity that had just come from this guy's mouth. A kink thing? This guy was a well known member of the mob who'd just been knocked out and tied to a chair in a basement like some sort of thriller movie cliché... and then he thought it was just that Ryan had a fucking kink? Not quite what Ryan had been expecting. "No, you idiot! I'm here to kill you!"

"Oh?" 'Legs' seemed to think that over for a minute before the somewhat humoured smile that had previously been on his face was wiped completely. "Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'." Ryan mimicked as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I thought this was going to be a lot harder but you just walked right into this... you didn't even question me wanting to take you into the basement! Are you really that dense?"

"In my defence you hit me on the head pretty fuckin' hard." He groaned, almost as if he was trying to get sympathy. Ryan wouldn't take the bait, even if he did sort of feel guilty about it.

"That was after I lured you all the way out here!" Ryan's voice rose in both volume and pitch, holding the gun out and aiming it at 'Legs' head. "I thought mob guys were supposed to be fuckin' smart!"

"Mob guys?" Everything slowly clicked into place for him, he looked almost disappointed, but what he was disappointed about Ryan wasn't so sure. Maybe in himself for being so naïve or perhaps in Ryan for leading him on the way he did to turn out to just be another in a long line of guys that had come after him. "Right, so you're here to kill me then?"

"Yeah, I said that already." Ryan was trying his very best to be patient and take into account the guy had only just woken up after he bashed him round the head with a metal pole. "You're a ballsy guy, I'll give you that. I mean, just going out and partying in New Orleans knowing the Californian mob is after you? I can't tell if it's bold or insane!"

"Well I'm not in California right now, am I? I didn't think they'd be dumb enough to come around here with how high the tensions are between them and the gangs here in Orleans." So he did have a bit of common sense, even if his logic had been flawed. "That and I wasn't expecting the good looking guy in the diner to be some fucking mafia hitman or whatever."

"You think I'm good looking- wait, no. You're not going to flirt your way out of this!" Ryan jabbed the gun in his direction as if to threaten him into shutting up but 'Legs' didn't seem all that phased that his life was in danger. 'Definitely insane' Ryan thought to himself as he glared down at him. Who the hell stays so calm in a situation like this? This guy really is Norman Bates reincarnate. "And I'm not a hitman, I'm part of the Cali mob!"

"You are, are you?" 'Legs' seemed sceptical. "You don't look the part. I mean, you're way too short for one and that tough guy act is fooling no one."

"Man, fuck you! Just because you're as tall as a fucking sasquatch doesn't mean I'm short! Oh my god I cannot believe I was actually considering throwing everything I worked for away and just fucking you instead!" Ryan was aware he was trying to rile him up on purpose, but god dammit it was working like a charm. "Are you forgetting I'm holding a fucking gun here? I'm going to kill you! You should be begging for your life right now!"

"Oh, no, please don't kill me Mr Goldsworth." His voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Although, I mean, if you untie me I could pretend none of this even happened and we could just go upstairs and, y'know." He gave a conspicuous whistle rather than being as blunt as Ryan had been.

"You're insufferable." Ryan couldn't believe this was the same guy he went drinking with, the same guy he was starting to regret luring to the edge of town to kill. He was filled with enough aggression and adrenaline not to feel that regret anymore, but he still couldn't help noticing that his hand still shook slightly as he pointed the gun in 'Legs' face.

"I always thought you mobsters were supposed to be tough guys. You're shaking like a leaf."  'Legs' pointed out which only infuriated Ryan even more. "You really should work on controlling your emotions more, just shut 'em off, y'know?"

"Stop giving me fucking criticism!" Ryan growled, his fist balled at his side before he used it to steady his shaking hand. "I'm literally about to shoot you!"

"Well hurry up with it then, you're starting to look like some incompetent movie villain!" 'Legs' almost sounded bored, impatient even. Ryan figured the guy must be on some next level of crazy if he was practically begging the guy holding a gun to shoot him.

"Don't rush me!" Ryan clicked the safety off on his gun and held it against 'Legs' forehead, the taller man closed his mouth very quickly and his eyes opened wider. Ryan couldn't help but smirk at how quickly he turned his act around.

"Uh, Ricky?" 'Legs' sounded worried all of a sudden, a complete juxtaposition from how he was mere seconds ago.

"Oh, now you're afraid. Didn't take much for that tough guy act to fall through, did it?" Ryan felt proud in a way, proud that he'd actually succeeded in intimidating the guy. Maybe he had it in him after all? Maybe this whole time he had just been overreacting, overthinking. He had the guts to do this, all he had to do now was pull the trigger (after saying something badass like they did in the movies, of course) and it would be over.

"Ricky!" 'Legs' called out, an unmistakeable fear in his tone. "Look out, behind you!"

"Yeah, how stupid do you think I am?" Ryan scoffed, though his tune soon changed when he heard the sound of metal scraping along the floor behind him, something he imagined 'Legs' had heard before Ryan knocked him out earlier. He gasped, eyes widening as he remembered he forgot one crucial step in his plan: he forgot to lock the front door.

Before Ryan could even turn around and defend himself he felt something connect with his temple and the world turned to black in a terrifyingly quick instant.

So much for everything being too easy...

[danganronpa-21]

Naegiri Week Day 2 - Work

Looks like I spoiled all of you yesterday by posting in the afternoon! As you can see, we’re back to more “regular” Koto posting times. Fear not, though, as my piece for Work is finally here! This time around, I have no warnings to issue before you start reading the text. It should be pretty safe. I hope the story is to your liking!

_______________________

Makoto was at the computer again.

 Should that have surprised her? He’d been there every day for a week. He migrated to it in the way that a moth might journey towards a flame; it entranced him in a way that others could not comprehend. Well… perhaps the moth metaphor wasn’t the best way of putting it. Any idiot would be able to see that his fixation on the system had been born of desperation, rather than admiration of its beauty. After all, how could he grow to admire a healing project that become corrupt, swallowed by the very despair it was meant to fight against? His heart was far too gentle to ever be drawn in by something like that, and Kyoko supposed that was why she worried. Too many hours subjecting himself to all of that suffering wouldn’t be good for his kind soul. The fact that he scarcely ever seemed to leave it behind would be just as bad for his body, too.

 “Makoto.” Her hand found its way to his shoulder without thinking, squeezing tightly as if that would somehow reassure him that she was there. Everyone knew they should have been more worried that he’d gotten to the point where he needed that, but with the program going haywire and students losing entire consciousnesses… well, the mental health of the Super High School Level Hope had to be put on the backburner. That was what the others told her, anyway. She, on the other hand, struggled to believe it.

 Her friend seemed to respond only slightly, glancing back at her. Though she couldn’t see his face fully, she noticed the dark circles and half-lidded eyes right away. He looked so tired that she feared he might suddenly drop at any second. “Yeah? You need something from me, Kiri?”

 Kyoko’s brows furrowed, but she couldn’t be bothered to change them back to a more neutral position. Makoto wouldn’t listen to that. She doubted that he would listen to any change in expression, even if she glared and scowled. At this point, he was a man possessed. “This is your eighth day managing the Hope Restoration Program.”

 He blinked sleepily at her, reaching up to rub one of his eyes without a hint of irony. “What about it?”

 “You were also up managing it until four o’clock in the morning last night. Togami-kun told me you had very clear intent to continue working on it, and would have if he hadn’t stopped you. He also informed me that this was not the first night this week that he caught you managing the program into the late hours of the morning.” She hated having to be stern with him. It always made her feel like she came off as thinking he was inferior to her in some way, but it was more about using status to get him to take a break. Sweet as a peach, that boy was, but he failed to listen when it came to taking care of himself. This wasn’t the first Kyoko resorted to pulling rank to get him to do as he needed. “You need some time away from the computer. This is getting out of hand.”

 Makoto could do little more than grin weakly at her. “I appreciate your concern, Kirigiri-san, but I’m okay. Really!” The yawn he suppressed did little to convince her. “I honestly feel like… like I’m at my best when I’m here working.”

 “Yes, well, being consumed by rampant anxiety about what will happen to Class 77 at any moment that you’re not around would be the reason for that.”

 You’d think Kyoko had kicked him with the way his expression deflated, tilting his chin down like a puppy who had just finished being scolded for chewing an armchair. Hints of rouge spread across his cheeks at the reprimanding. She supposed she could have felt guilty, watching him slump in his chair like that. Heaven knew that she probably should have, but she couldn’t justify that pit in her stomach when she was already so worried about him. Tough love would hopefully be the reality check he desperately needed. Makoto certainly had the tendency to be stubborn when he set his mind to something, but did he really intend for this to be the battle he picked?

 Folding her arms, Kyoko let out a sigh. “You know I am right, do you not?”

 He didn’t meet her eyes; his blinking growing rapid for a few seconds. Did she perhaps cut too deep with that comment about his anxiety? She suddenly felt the urge to snatch every word back out of the air. It felt like she’d just picked the wrong option in a dating simulator game and lost relationship points. If she hadn’t been raised to be perfectly stoic, perhaps she would have been able to reach out to him. Instead, though, she could only stand as still as she could manage; her gaze fixed itself on him intently.

 “I do...” Her heart broke over how slurred the words sounded. Two simple words, and he could barely keep them apart. The tension his shoulders had lost transferred to her own with ease. Something about this behaviour was very much not right, and the feeling of it squirmed in Kyoko’s belly like a ball of worms. “I’m just… is just… I’m…”

 “Naegi-kun?”

 It surprised her, how soft her voice sounded. It had been ages since she’d had to speak to anyone that softly, much less him. When push came to shove, he was usually the one lifting her spirits. Not the other way around!

 Without thinking, she crept closer to him, leaning over slightly to try and lift his head to look at his face. She had barely even reached her hand out to place it upon his chin when he tilted his head up for her, staring at her with pathetically sleepy eyes. When he tried to speak, all that came out was a pathetic whine.

  “Kirigiri-san…”

 “I have never seen you this pale before. I know you have not been sleeping recently, but what about eating and drinking? If you are lacking in sleep and in blood sugar, then I think we have lots of cause to be concerned.” She blinked quietly at him, waiting for an answer. “Well?”

 “Um… I had some berries, recently. I think.” He was practically a ragdoll in Kyoko’s hand, his neck feeling almost like it would let him fall limp if she didn’t keep her hand where it was. “One of the older recruits brought them for me.”

 “What kind?”

 “Blackberries and blueberries.”

 Ugh. Of course they brought him a bowl of berries that didn’t serve to elevate the blood glucose levels by more than a hair. As sweet as it was that they were looking out for him, she couldn’t help but be annoyed that they hadn’t made better nutritional choices. Admittedly, some of that irritation did come from the fact that she knew she probably should have been the one making him sandwiches or something… but that was beside the point. He’d been too long without proper elevation in his blood sugar, and his use of the word ‘recently’ told her all she needed to know. She found herself shaking her head in frustration.

 “Do you remember when you had them?”

 He blinked slowly. When he got to be this way, she supposed he kind of reminded her of a sloth. All slow movements and droopy eyes. Come to think of it, she actually quite liked sloths. They were cute, just like sleepy Makoto would be, if he weren’t on the verge of collapse. The more girlish, romantic part of her wanted to scoop him up in her arms and carry him off to bed as if he were a cuddly pet. But that would be unprofessional in a workplace environment.

 “Um…” He looked down at his hands for a moment, as if he were prepared to start counting on his fingers. He never was all that good at math. “No, I don’t… don’t know.”

 Could one involuntarily roll their eyes? If they couldn’t, Kyoko felt uncertain of how she would explain her response to his answer, then. Shame crept into her being. Realistically, as his boss and best friend, she should have been doing a better job of looking out for him. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t known that he would be at the computer all day, every day for the next little while. She had seen all of the signs of his fixation, and just hadn’t known how to stop it. Seeing where that fixation brought him only made the horrid sense of dread pooling in her belly worse.

 “Alright,” she gently released his face, “We need to get you out of here. You have spent enough time in front of the computer as of late and I’m genuinely worried that you are going to collapse. What you need now is food, water, and a good sleep.”

 A frown etched itself into Makoto’s expression, making the already exhausted boy look borderline pitiful. He was practically     sulking. “Kirigiri-san… I don’t want to… to… to leave them.”

 Tenderly, she reached over and grabbed hold of his arm to try and help him to his feet. “Nor should you have to. I will see to it that someone takes your place here monitoring Class 77.” Though seeing him in such a state hurt, she pushed what little smile her iron mask could manage. He said to her once that her smile gave him strength, and at this point, she figured he needed all of the strength she could give him. “You have done excellent work so far, Naegi-kun, but I need you to rest. Perhaps we can have Togami-kun take over from here. You trust him, don’t you?”

 He nodded. “I do… you promise… things will be okay?”

 “Of course, Naegi-kun. You know that Togami-kun and I share your ideals just as much as anyone else. We want to see these students survive and succeed as well. We would never want to do anything that would hurt them, nor you.” She nudged him slightly. “Now, really. We need to get some food in your system sooner rather than later.”

 He nodded again, the beginnings of a grin cracking through his tired face. He didn’t appear stable otherwise, but she imagined she should be allowed to count that twinge of hope as a victory. Now, if they could just overcome the trouble of the fact that his body was absolutely trembling from lack of energy, that would be great. The tremors were so strong that she almost worried that he might start to make her shake too.

 “I’m going to help you to your feet, okay?”

 “Okay.”

 ‘On the count of three’, Kyoko told herself. For most people, having health this bad would be cause for concern, but for Makoto it was all that much worse. Not only had he poorly taken care of himself, he somehow thought it was a good idea to neglect his health when he was prone to fainting. Whether it was extreme psychological or physical distress, Kyoko had seen him faint faster than Byakuya could reject “commoner food”. She witnessed it only a few times, and each and every time it got more uncomfortable to watch. Every time it happened, she found her heart rate increased to the heaviest levels it could maintain. Holding onto Makoto now, she prayed silently that he wouldn’t faint.

 One.

 Two.

 Three.

 Warily, she took hold of his other elbow and began to lift him from his seat. Though it would benefit her to check her surroundings as they moved, she refused to take her eyes off him. As far as she was concerned, his expression needed to be surveyed at all times. Any twist or twinge could alert her to his potential collapse. She couldn’t afford to let the situation fall outside of her control — she liked her control, thank you very much. For his sake, she tried to keep her cool. It was a bit of effort to ensure that anxiety didn’t force her finger tips to dig into him as she lifted him up, but she coped well enough. 

 Judging by the look on his face, they appeared to be making decent progress. For the most part his gaze directed itself towards his own body. He watched himself with as much intensity as his sleepy eyes could manage; he fixated on every shake and slight hesitation. Was he as worried as she was about completely falling apart? He was rising to his feet with as much grace as he could muster, only stopping to cringe when he stood at full height. His jaw clenched almost immediately. Kyoko’s heart skipped a beat.

Unable to control her worries, she leaned close to get a better look at him. He would certainly be able to feel her breath on his skin from this distance. “Is something wrong?” 

His skin paled rapidly, dragging itself to a hue that didn’t even appear human. Had she held less self-control, she would have scooped him up and carried him off to bed right then and there.

 “You’re losing your pallor, Naegi-kun.”

 He tried to wave her off despite his obvious distress, his body swaying slightly. “I’m just dizzy, that’s all. Just… dizzy.”

 As much as she wanted to believe that he would be fine, his eyes looked like they were about two seconds away from rolling back into his head. His feet were already starting to wobble off-course, and if that were to happen, the rest of his body would surely follow suit.

 “Are you sure?” Kyoko suddenly realized that she had a huge lump in her throat. “You have yet to see any spots? Your stomach is settled?”

 If the world functioned according to her preferences, Makoto would have answered right away. If things went according to her plans, he’d tell her that he felt fine, and had simply been overcome by a twinge of vertigo. In her ideal world, this is how things would be. It would not involve the ominously vague groan he released instead, with one of his hands reaching up to hold his head.

 Shaking him was the last thing he needed, but it was all she could think to do. “Hey. Naegi-kun, come on. Stay with me,” as his head began to hang once more, she tilted her head in a futile attempt to get a better look at his face, “Are you going to faint?”

 “Y-Yeah…”

 The universe could squeeze only a few more blinks out of him until he finally fell limp like a ramen noodle. Even with the advantage of holding his elbows, Kyoko still had to rush to catch Makoto before he hit the floor. That cheeky luck of his had been very close to running its course, too, for it tried to pull him to fall to the right. If she let him fall that way, he would smash his head into the desk and all of the computer equipment — and then they’d have a concussion to worry about, as well as his lack of sleep and poor nutrition. Catching him in time honestly felt like a miracle, her arms making quick release of his elbows to swoop under his arms and keep him from tumbling over like a deflated toy. Thankfully, her grandfather’s martial arts training made her skilled at moving quickly; they made the rush to grab him swift. Not elegant by any means — she nearly punched him in the chest as opposed to sticking her arm under his own — but it was doable. It did take her a minute to adjust to the weight of an extra person in her care, but she took it in stride. With a heave of her shoulders, she wiggled to stand him a bit more upright, so most of his weight leaned on her shoulder.

 “Please, Naegi-kun… Take better care of yourself,” she whispered, “If not for your sake, then… please do it for mine.”

_______________________

Waking up with no idea where he was or how he got there was the kind of thing that sent Makoto into a panic the second it happened. A year had passed since the killing game, yet he still startled awake in a feverish panic if he woke up with even a moment of forgetfulness. He’d immediately sit upright in bed, gaze tracing the room for some sign that he was still in the world he remembered. The rooms at Future Foundations’ headquarters tended to be so barren that there was never truly much to ground himself with. Perhaps a calendar flipped to the correct date and time, or a special trinket from a specific pocket of aided citizens. Nothing more than that, which usually made it difficult to figure out where one was. When this happened, panic would settle into Makoto’s bones within a matter of minutes; his heart beating wildly as he fought off the urge to dash around the room. Simply sitting there and trying to convince himself that he felt like a normal human being felt like far too much of a hassle to do, yet it was where he found himself. Groggy, disoriented, and light-headed, trying to figure out what happened. Where was he?

 His tired eyelids allowed him to blink once. Twice. Part of him wanted to be surprised by the fact that he still couldn’t see anything, but the heaviness of sleep just made things so damn blurry. Future Foundation rooms were already so arid, but their rooms on Jabberwock Island were somehow worse. Everything about it just screamed generic island room, or as Makoto saw it currently: generic island-flavoured blobs. He reached up to rub at his eyes, doing his best to ignore the spinning feeling that refused to ease into nothingness. Exhaustion had such a grip on him that even this barely helped. Somehow, everything still looked and felt unreal. Had the next occurrence taken place only thirty seconds later, he might have laid back down and decided that this was all a dream. But it clearly hadn’t been, for the knock on the door was completely off-cue.

 Thump, thump, thump.

 Plain, spiritless, to the point. Yep, anyone who knew her would recognize Kyoko’s knock within an instant. She always did have this formal way of rapping on a door. He used to tease her in their early days of working together, insisting that it was a “boss knock”. Unfortunately, she never found it as funny as he did.

 “Naegi-kun? Are you awake in there?” Her tone came out so much softer than he expected to hear. Most of the time she spoke just loud enough to be audible, and clear enough so no adversary could detect emotion through it. In some ways, it still maintained this aspect of her character, but… he did remark it was a little outside of the realm of normal Kyoko things. Was she actually worried about waking him up?

 When he opened his mouth to answer, the words got caught half-way up his throat. “Yeah, I’m awake,” god, he could barely believe that strained voice belonged to him, “I think.”

 Kyoko let out a slight snort on the other side of the door; it made a smile tug at the corners of Makoto’s mouth. She almost never showed it to anyone, but she had an adorable laugh. That little snort was the extent of what she’d do in public, yet he adored hearing it all the same. “Well, if you’ll allow me in, I have something that might make you feel better.”

 Though he knew she couldn’t see him, he nodded to the door anyway. “By all means.”

 There was a split second of pause before the doorknob twisted, and then she nudged her way in with her foot. When the door swung open to reveal Kyoko, she fortunately looked the same as Makoto remembered her — tall, slim, long lavender hair tied out of the way, striking purple eyes and kissable pink lips. Gulp. Maybe not the time to think about kissing. He directed his attention instead to the brown cafeteria tray she held in her hands. He couldn’t see much on it apart from a tall glass of water, but the aroma promised him something with… chicken? Had she brought him cream stew? Something like that would hit the spot right about now. In all of his confusion, he’d barely had the time to process the painful emptiness of his belly. 

 “You seem to have woken up just in time,” she sounded half-amused as she strode into the room, but struggled to replicate the sentiment through emoting, “Your shichuu would have gotten cold otherwise, and I’m sure you know microwaved shichuu is nowhere near as good as fresh.”

He mustered a laugh. Her shichuu comment was something he’d told her once during his many infamous rambles. As corny as it was, the soup wasn’t the only thing that warmed his heart. The fact that she remembered something as silly as that worked wonders, too. “You’re the best, Kirigiri-san. Thanks so much.”

 Her shoulders quirked, her mouth twitching downwards ever so slightly. “Think nothing of it. In fact, consider it an apology.”

 By no intention of his own, his eyebrows squished together. A pursing of his lips followed suit. “An apology? What for?

 The detective let out a sigh, taking a seat in the rather unremarkable chair positioned at the edge of his bed. She slid the tray onto her lap almost teasingly, or perhaps it wasn’t so much teasing as taunting. His stomach let out a loud growl at the sight of it, causing him to clutch it in embarrassment. If Kyoko noticed, she didn’t utter a word. 

 “Do you remember what happened before you woke up here?”

 Makoto shook his head, wincing when that made the spinning worse. Note to self: don’t do that.

 “Well, in summary, you worked yourself to the brink of exhaustion and passed out. I carried you here.”

 Heat rose in his cheeks. God, he hoped she hadn’t carried him bridal-style. Oh, what if the other foundation members saw?! His temperature elevated suddenly. If anyone else saw her do that, he would never live it down! They already teased him for being wrapped around Kyoko’s finger. He’d even earned himself an inappropriate workplace nickname because of it, as well as the rumour that the two of them were taking a little too much pleasure in each other’s company outside of office hours.

 She appeared to notice the rising colour in his skin. “You needn’t make that face. Nobody saw apart from Togami-kun.”

 A groan tore its way through his throat; his hands rushing to clutch his head in exasperation. “You say that like it’s not bad. He’s going to taunt me about that for weeks.” 

The lavender-haired woman shrugged, her gaze not lifting from the bowl of soup in her lap. “He already tried it with me. Kept asking me if I was taking my boyfriend somewhere for a nap.”

 Though Makoto would have actually liked for that to have been true, he still found himself sighing just a bit. “I really hope that he’s gotten it all out of his system, then…”

 “We can only hope,” she continued to refuse to meet his face, “Getting away from that, though… there is something that I wanted to ask you.”

 “Oh?”

 That bowl of soup seemed to be getting more eye contact from his crush than he was. She was staring into it like a reflective romcom protagonist at a low moment. “Why?”

 What a clear question. He couldn’t help but shake his head again. Leave it to her to be as cryptic as possible. Sometimes, he wondered if she enjoyed being needlessly unusual, or if it was just a special talent. Still, he tried not to let his frustration show. “What do you mean by that, Kirigiri-san?”

 She poked at one of the vegetables with the spoon; it bobbed up and back down. “I want to understand why you were so fixated on the program,” a crease began to form between her brows, making it look vaguely like the soup had wronged her somehow, “There have been a variant of different people monitoring the Neo World Program participants, yet none of them took to it the way you did.”

 Thinking made his head ache. Not that much thinking had been done since he’d come to. An angrier part of him wanted to reach out and pry the soup from Kyoko’s hands just so the room would stop spinning so much, and he could actually consider her question. But that would be rude, and Makoto was not a rude man, so he just sat there. 

 “Well?”

 “I don’t know.”

 Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her pressing her lips together in a thin line. “I think you do.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he replied almost instantly.

 “Then you can’t have your soup.”                

 His arms folded across his chest; his lower lip jutting out. “You already haven’t given me my shichuu.”

 “Will you talk if I give it to you?”

 “Yes.”

  She lifted the tray into Makoto’s lap, allowing him to take in the full scent. It smelled amazing – someone else definitely had to have made this for him. As much as he adored his boss and thought of her like she painted the night sky, her cooking was the worst he’d ever had. One could usually confirm whether or not it was her cooking by lack of stench alone, so the pleasant aroma wafting into his nose meant that it would be safe to eat. “Then here’s your soup.”

 “Can I have my spoon?”

 She let out a small grumble and placed the spoon on the tray, tapping her foot impatiently. “There. Now eat.”

 For a moment he considered giving her a cheeky answer, but quickly decided against it. When her patience had worn thin, she didn’t tend to take so well to teasing. Deliberately pushing her buttons would only serve to get him into much more trouble. So rather than giving it any more, he dug into the delectable dish in front of him. He’d be the first to admit that his consumption of the dish ended up being a little sloppy, but he could barely help himself. More than a few times the liquid threatened to dribble down his chin, and he’d be forced to stop it from dripping into his lap. If Kyoko had any sort of opinion on this, she neglected to share it. She simply sat there and watched him eat. Man, with her watching him like that, it was like being a suspect she intended to interrogate. The air had grown a little too tense for his liking, especially with the only sound being his slurping and chewing.

 “Are you going to sit there and watch me the whole time?”

He hadn’t meant for the question to sound harsh, but she sure seemed to take it that way, retorting: “Are you ever going to start talking?”

 He bit his lip, tensity beginning to build in his shoulders. The affection he held for her was something he knew to be real, yet when she spoke to him like that, he couldn’t help but wonder if she even liked him at all. Her bluntness could be a lot. “If you wanted me to start talking, you could have just asked.”

 She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

 “What’s gotten into you?” He complained, startling even himself. “Why are you being so harsh about this? You were acting all sweet when you came in here, and now you’re grumbly. Did I do something?”

 Her frown deepened. “Yes, you did.”

 “What did I do, then?”

 “You worried me.” She answered curtly, the tone coming out so sharp that even she jerked herself back in surprise. Makoto opened his mouth to make an attempt at saying something, but shut himself up just as quickly when he saw blood rush in Kyoko’s cheeks. A flustered Kyoko was almost always a Kyoko with more to say. “You and I have known each other for several years, and I have yet to see you work yourself in a manner this dangerous. You have had a complete disregard for your health these past few weeks, and quite frankly, it’s frightening me.”

 He swallowed thickly and lowered his spoon toward the bowl. He’d barely noticed, but it was already half-full. “I’m… sorry. I never meant to scare you.”

 Her arms folded across her chest, bitterness dripping from her voice. “Then what were you trying to do?”

  “Help,” he choked, “The students in the program, I mean. I’m sorry, Kirigiri-san… I know I’ve given you nothing but trouble, but I just… I had to help them.”

 “I wouldn’t say that you gave me nothing but trouble-”

 He shook his head frantically. “No, it’s alright Kirigiri-san. I know I’ve been trouble these past few weeks, and I’m sorry about that. I just haven’t felt anything like myself lately. Ever since Monokuma showed up in the program, and everything got corrupted… I’ve been desperate to keep an eye on things. I feel like if I leave the students alone, they’ll…”

 She nodded gently, her scowl finally starting to ease. He wondered if she would give him her hand if he asked. Touch happened to be an aspect of connection that she struggled with, but she knew how much it reinvigorated him. Maybe he could get her to crack, just this once. “I know,” she whispered, “I know.”

 “We’ve lost so many of them already. I can’t stand the thought of losing more,” he willed himself not to cry, his words tripping over the lump in his throat, “Every time I’m away from the program, I can’t stop thinking about them. We know how that feels, and it’s our responsibility to stop it.”

 “We’re doing everything we can, Naegi-kun, I promise you.”

 “I want to be doing more, Kirigiri-san. I want to be giving them everything I have, because if the shoe was on the other foot, I know they would be doing the same for me.”

She shut her eyes softly. “You don’t want them to suffer like we did.”

 “Exactly,” he sighed, “Exactly.”

 “I understand your reasoning. Really, I do.” She rested her hand on his wrist without him even having to ask. His heart fluttered at the sensation of her gloved hands on his skin. “However, no good can come from working ourselves to the point of collapse. The lives of the students within that program are irreplaceable, yes, but so is yours. What would happen to everyone here if we lost you? What would I do?”

Oh. He… had not considered that.

 Guilty silence ate him within seconds. It would be simple to say that they could carry on in his absence with Kyoko as their valiant leader, he knew that would not be the case. When they lost their hope, he was the one they turned to for guidance and encouragement. His ideals were the ones that shaped their whole project; nobody would be there without him. If he were to keel over and die without another word, the team would be devastated. His friends would be devastated. “I guess I didn’t think about that.”

 “I’d suggest you start, then. We all want to have you around for the foreseeable future.” A slight smile carved its way into her face as she leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of his head. “You’ve been working so hard to give everyone this hope… I think you deserve to be around to enjoy some of it for yourself, too.”

 Makoto tried desperately not to blush. “I guess you’re right,” he murmured, finally finding the strength to smile, “I’ve got to take care of myself to share in that hope, too.”

[kindness-bliss]

New Beginnings Ch. 12

Timothy Thatcher x OC

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: none

One year later   Tim looked at apartments with his fiance as they walked around, Emily was everything he could dream of. She had a good heart, educated, loved her job, was actually his age and extremely kind. It had started just days after that night at the club where she approached him at a coffee shop over the book he was reading, he was impressed that someone else could enjoy a George Orwell novel like him. From that day on it was non stop texting and late night phone calls which eventually turned into dates and then sleeping over at each others places and one day he just said fuck it and got a ring at a shop and proposed. It was nothing special truly, he didn’t even get down on one knee which he kind of regretted but not really. He liked her, he liked her a lot but part of him knew he didn’t love her.    “Sweetheart, are you alright ?” Emily asked petting his cheek “you look out of it”   Tim shook his head “Oh I’m fine, just thinking about what would be best is all. We looked at all the ones on our list and you seem to be keen on this area, this the one then ?”

 Emily grinned and nodded “It’s perfect, it’s near both our jobs and it’s a 2 bedroom just in case after the wedding you know….”   He sighed as he stepped back “Em, we’ve talked about this dozens of times already. I said I don’t want kids, I’m past that stage. Us together is enough for me and you said it was enough for you as well, remember ?”  

 “I did” she nodded “It’s just a maybe, like a what if situation kind of thing is all. I know where you stand on children and I totally respect plus we’re both 38, that’s a long shot honey”

Tim chuckled lightly, giving a nod “very true, but just maybe let’s leave it at that ?”. Nothing about moving in with her felt natural, nothing. He liked her a lot but he knew he had rushed things. Everyone had told him it was too soon and that he was only doing it to get over Maya but even they couldn’t stop him from proposing. The second he put the ring on her finger he knew it was a mistake.   

“I just think it’s good to talk about it because though you know I wouldn’t ever create an oopsie situation, it can still be a what if” Emily explained “Plus you told me at the beginning of us that you wouldn’t mind one, just one”   

“I said that almost a year ago, things and people change. Right now what matters to me is my career and your career and doing our own thing” he explains

“Wrestling won’t last forever Tim” she says softly “I know you plan on doing it for as long as you can which is great but we both know realistically it’s a good 5 years left before you have to call it quits for good. You should think about life beyond the ring, when it’s all done for good and you don’t have to put your body at risk every single day taking all those hits. I mean, do you ever think about that ?” “Clearly I do if we’re moving in together Emily '' he let out a little more dry than he had intended. It was one thing get on him about stupid shit like him leaving a plate out on the counter or leaving a damp towel on the sink but his job ? No way in hell he’d ever let anyone try to tell him what to do about his career.   

Emily sighed “Tim, I didn’t mean it like that at all okay ? I just meant it in the sense that there’s life after wrestling, a chance-”   

“I’ve heard enough” Tim said shortly “I um I gotta go, I’m late for some stuff down at the performance center. I’ll see you tonight”  he leaned over and kissed her forehead leaving   

He put his bag down in the locker room as he got ready and nodded at Oney “You look all sunburnt, were you at the beach ?”   

“Maya’s” he answered, lacing up his shoes “She had a small get together yesterday on a boat to celebrate her 26th birthday. The sun got the best of us” Oney chuckled   

“It was her birthday yesterday ?” Tim asked changing his tone

“Not yesterday exactly” Oney shook his head “It’s this Saturday but we celebrated it early since we’ve got that pay per view to get ready for , it was why I couldn’t go to dinner with you and Emily. I went to Marcel’s because he was surprising her with that and you know she’s grown to be like a sister to me, I couldn’t miss it”  Tim simply nodded, how was it that already a year had passed by ? How was it that he didn’t even know her birthday ? “How is she ?” he finally asked

“She’s good, doing really well” Oney nodded “You know her and Marcel are just still boyfriend and girlfriend, not engaged or moved in like you and Emily. But I mean in a way you two are alike, you both just had your one year come up”

“She and Marcel aren’t like Emily and I” he shook his head. “That's comparing apples to oranges man, two totally different things. Why even bring that up ?

“Because it’s clear you still like her, do you ?”

“Yes.” Tim answered

Oney sighed, shaking his head “Then why are you engaged and moving in with this woman ? Why did you fuck up so badly ?” “I don’t know and I’ll never know” he shrugged as he left the room and stretched in the ring. All great questions he had no answers for. ******  Maya sat as she rubbed her forehead and sipped her water on the couch “Baby do you mind getting me some tylenol ?”   

“Let me guess, once again didn’t eat anything but an iced coffee all day ?” he chuckled handing her two pills and sitting next to her  

 “Haha very funny” she rolled her eyes, taking them “Just feel tired, I’ve been working back to back and it’s getting to me is all”   

Marcel shook his head and sighed “You’ve been so out of it lately, we went to dinner last week and you fell asleep on the ride there, I’m getting concerned Maya”

She held his hand and scooted onto his lap kissing him “I”m fine, just work is a lot lately. I just gotta get it together is all, schedule things out better. Plus, I still have energy for plenty of things you know. Loads of them actually…”   

“I like that” he caressed her cheek leaning to kiss her and groaning as he heard the doorbell “That would be Johnny and Candice who you invited for a swim”  “I know” she giggled as she got up “deal with your blue balls somewhere else while I show them around”. Maya got up and shook off the slight dizziness she had going to the door “Hey guys” she smiled “Come on in”  

 “Jesus you said house not mini mansion” Johnny said as he barged in and put the cupcakes on the table “Damn Maya, is this what taking off your clothes pays for, because I might just change careers”  

 Candice shook her head as she gave her a hug “You know how he is, thanks for having us over before the week gets a bit chaotic. I feel like I rarely get to see you because of how busy you are, how are things ?”   

Maya grinned and took her to her backyard and sat with her “Things have been great truly, work is great and well as you can see things with Marcel are also still amazing. He’s here a lot but we don’t live together or anything like that” she admits taking a sip of her water “I see in your face you’ve got this look, like you wanna tell me something but you’re holding back”  

 She looked up and grinned as Johnny sat in the middle of them taking a piece of cheese from the charcuterie board and chewed “So did you hear Tim’s engaged to that one Emily chick ? I mean she’s pretty but she’s not as pretty as you and she has a boring job not cool like modeling. She’s a high school teacher ,math teacher or something dumb like that, and I heard from Eli that she’s his age so you know old and apparently they moved in-”

“Johnny !” Candice exclaimed with wide eyes as she moved her eyes in her direction

“Wh-what ?” Maya said softly “I-I had no idea, I haven’t seen him since um that night at EVE but it’s been a year, come on guys. There’s no need to tiptoe around things, that’s in the past and good for him. He deserves happiness as we all do, really Candice it’s not a big deal”   Lies all fucking lies she thought to herself, nothing but lies. Yes it was a big fucking deal, how the hell wouldn’t it be ?. What in the absolute fuck did she miss out on in a whole year ? She was having success, her relationship with Marcel was perfect yet her heart still fluttered hearing Tim’s name. Not only was he dating someone but he was engaged, engaged.   “Sorry” Johnny apologized as he put his drink down “I thought you knew since you seem to know everyone, I thought Oney had mentioned it or Alli”    “It’s fine Johnny��� she grinned weakly “Really it is, there’s nothing you need to say sorry for at all truly. People are allowed to move on, I mean we never even dated. It’s nothing at all, look Marcel’s on his way out let’s get in before the sun goes down”  “I got you a little surprise” Marcel grinned, oblivious to what had just occurred. He smiled and put down the box in his arms “I know you said no gifts but I thought this one would be great for you” With a confused look Maya stood up and  grinned , walking towards the box and opening it slowly, smiling wide as she pulled out a golden doodle puppy “OH MY GOD YOU REMEMBERED !” She quickly kissed the pup and jumped in his arms. For the last 6 months, she had been going on and on about how she was ready for a dog and wanted one so badly yet Marcel seemed off to the idea and kept saying how they were way too much work and not even all that cute. Now she understood why, and her heart swelled in size.   “I searched and searched the entire state of Florida for this little guy” Marcel smiled. “He's about 8 weeks old, and when I saw him I knew he was perfect for you...for us. But he needs a name, any ideas ?”    “Biggie” Maya smiled “As in Biggie Smalls ?” he laughed   “Exactly that.” Marcel smiled as he put his arm around her and pulled her in for a side hug “You, me and Biggie”. He kissed her head as he pet their pup’s head and smiled, though far off and not entirely true it felt as if they were family already. Just them and their puppy, together and happy.   

The rest of the night was enjoyable as she sat and listened to them talk about the big pay per view that was coming up, everyone going on and on about certain feuds and matches. She turned and looked at Marcel who was in mid conversation with Fabian, sending him a wink as she got up and headed inside using the excuse she needed to answer an important phone call. Like clockwork she heard the screen door lock shut and laughed “It’s that easy huh ?”   

“You’re the one who gave me a wink” he answered with a crimson face “I-I assumed, I...I didn’t mean to”   “You assumed right” she grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her as she took them into the guest bathroom “we have 10 minutes max before someone realizes we’re missing so make it last”  

 Without losing any time Marcel lifted her onto the sink and slid off her shorts, rubbing at her core as he licked his lips “fuck you feel so wet already” he whispered getting a moan in response from her

“You talk entirely too much” she kissed him ,leaning her head back against the cabinet mirror gripping the back of his neck with her hands as she bit her lip to keep quiet   

“Fuck Maya” he mumbled as he began thrust in and out “you always feel so fucking good”

She whimpered in response “Baby….Baby please”

“You like that, I know you do” Marcel pumped into her with force, nuzzling his face in her neck as he did his best to keep his moans low, tightening his grip on her hips   

“I...wow” Maya panted as they finished, him still inside of her as she looked into his eyes “You do things to me you know, lots of things”

“And I always will” Marcel grinned as he wiped his forehead and kissed her lips softly “as long as you let me” “You’re so corny, you go out first so no one assumes” she chuckled as she closed the door and fixed her makeup. She opened a drawer to look for a brush, sighing as she picked up her birth control packet that had fallen.“Every time” Maya muttered as she put it away, feeling it slightly heavier than usual and opening the pack. With a shaky breath she slipped the packet out of the sleeve and widened her eyes when she saw 7 days of pills still in their spot, she had missed a whole week of birth control in the last month ***** “Would you just tell me what’s going on ?” Tim asked as he sat on the couch with Emily “it’s been a week and you’ve been quiet, you even missed a day of work which you never do. What on earth can be going on that has you like this ?”   

“Tim…” Emily spoke, her voice small and meek “Please don’t be mad at me, please. I...I went to the doctor for those headaches and fatigue and she-she had me to a blood and urine test and told me....she told me I’m pregnant. I told her it had to be a mistake, I have a patch and we use condoms, but she said it’s only 90% effective and there’s always a possibility especially since my ovaries release eggs during ovulation and well...I’m 9 weeks pregnant” she cried

 His eyes widened as he leaned back into the couch, feeling the air leave his lungs as he tried his absolute hardest to stop from dry heaving. He sat, rubbing his palms on his thighs and nodded over and again trying to convince himself things would be okay.   

“Then you’re pregnant and that’s that, accidents happen” he said softly as he scooted closer to her and held her hand in his sweaty one “Was this what we wanted ? No. But it’s what we’re dealing with and no matter what I’m here for you Em. I...I….I love you”   

“I love you so so much” Emily hugged him as she sniffled “I never ever meant for this to happen Tim, I swear to you. I’m so scared” she sobbed into his shoulder   Tim rubbed her back and sighed “It’s gonna be okay. We’re both adults here and this is something like the doctor said could always happen. I’m with you all this way, no matter what, but I must ask” he sits up and looks at her as he peels away from their hug “D-do you wanna keep this baby ?”

“I do” she whispered “I do, and you don’t need to stay with me. You don’t even need to help I can do this all on my own”   

He gulped taking her words in as he looked in her eyes, begging for her to just push him away and say she wants him out of her life but she didn’t. She wanted to keep this child and no matter what he was gonna stick by her whether he loved her or not. *****

  Maya looked up at Marcel as they waited at the doctors office, nerves eating up at her as she squeezed his hand in her lap. Immediately after everyone had left that day she sat him down and told him she had forgotten to take her birth control for a week and had reminded him they never used condoms. Just like she had assumed he was calm and collected and assured her he’d be with her no matter what and that he loved her. She broke down in tears that night on his lap crying until she passed out from exhaustion, when she woke up she found herself in bed with him. Now here they were one week later waiting to do some tests to get official answers, they had both agreed it’d be best to get answers from a doctor rather than a test at the pharmacy.  

 She stood up as her name was called and walked in with him, doing the usual routine with blood pressure and weight and finally getting her blood drawn and completing a urine test for them. The minutes seemed like hours as she sat in Marcel’s lap for comfort leaning her head over his.

  “I’m scared” Maya whispered looking in his eyes ``What if I am and it ends like…like how it did when I was 20 ?” she finally says

 “It’s different times” Marcel assured “6 years ago you were a kid with lots of stress that caused that to happen, now it’s different. And if you are, nothing bad is gonna happen. And if you aren’t, then we can go from there” he kissed her forehead. More than anything he wanted her to be okay, for them to be okay and just put that past life behind them completely.  

 Maya nodded and pressed her forehead to his, jumping up when she heard the door open and doctor come in

  “A-am I pregnant ?” she whispered quickly

“No” the doctor said softly “You are not, your tests all came back negative, what you do have to look out for is your severe dehydration levels. Other than that you’re in great health, and to be safe I’d stay off sexual activity until you can start a new month of birth control, and please use protection” she grinned

  “Oh my gosh” Maya let out a sigh of relief as she watched his face go back to its normal color “Thank you so so much”

 “It’s your life and your choices miss” she grinned “No matter what, I’m here to guide advice for whatever you need health related.”   

Maya let out a nervous laugh as she held hands with Marcel and walked out of the office, giggling when he spun her around in his arms

  “I love kids and can’t wait to have the, but this just wasn’t the right time” Marcel said softly as he kissed her “But our time will come soon, really soon”

“Sooner than later” she smiled as he set her down and walked down the hall with him, pressing the elevator button. She hummed happily as it dinged, gulping as it opened revealing Tim hand in hand with who she supposed was Emily with a barely there baby bump. She was sure she was gonna pass out had it not been for Marcel’s hand on her back.

  “Hi” Maya said softly, being the first to speak out of the 4 “Long time to no see”   

Tim stood speechless as he stared at her, unintentionally slipping his hand out of Emily’s and putting it in his pants pocket. He could’ve sworn he saw stars at one point from how dazed he felt seeing her in person for the first time in over a year.

“Hey” he finally said in response “um hey, this-this is...this is-”

“Emily” she spoke up quietly

“Emily yes, yes” Tim nodded “Um this is Emily my fiance, Emily this Maya and Marcel my...my…”

“Friends” Marcel grinned “So nice to meet you” he shook her hand gently “and um congratulations of course, what a beautiful thing”

 “Oh thank you” Emily smiled “Just here for our 14 week appointment, making sure all is well. You guys...are you guys expecting too ? Gosh that’s extremely invasive of me, I’m sorry I just assumed since this is the OBGYN side of the hospital and you two are together” she said softly turning red with embarrassment

“Nah you’re good” Maya shook her head “Just had a scare because I forgot to take my pill for a week and apparently the idea of condoms never came to my dumb ass brain that was too busy thinking about getting laid, but no babies in this uterus thank god” she tried to joke much to Tim and Emily’s wide eyes, Marcel being the only one laughing with her 

 “Alright tough crowd” she muttered to herself as she went through the middle of them into the elevator “But I wish you well, babies are super cute and stuff”

Emily grinned at her “You’re the sweetest, thank you ! Maya right ? Were you in a spread in Cosmo last month ? With the neon bikini in the pool for the safe sex while on vacation side ?

  Maya chuckled darkly.  She knew it was a dig, a sad attempt at one at least. “That’s me, that’s definitely me ! Got 20k for that spread, put a downpayment on a home with that shoot. I also did Maxim and got on the cover of that, I’m in Zara as well on a 10 foot poster right as you enter their store, and I just did a Victoria Secret ad that’s gonna be in every single mall in the states and that alone is probably gonna pay off my entire mortgage. You know, I did it once before in college and it paid off all my student loans too” she smiled “Now what is it that you do...M’am ?”

 Tim’s eyes widened as he watched the verbal drag go on, part of him knew he should’ve stepped in but he was too in shock to do a thing. “She’s a teacher” he answered sternly “A high school math teacher”

  “Still have those loans, but I love what I do” Emily nodded “It’s done for the love, not for the money” she hit back

“Aww” Maya put her hands to her heart “I remember when I used to say that too, I wanted to be a teacher so bad when I was teensy” she grinned “Then I realized how all teachers grew up to be nothing but bitter divorcees who thrive on making children’s lives miserable all whilst teaching pointless things like the Pythagorean theorem. Oh wait , that’s you ! My bad, my bad”

Marcel chuckled quietly as he bit the inside of his lip and moved his arm around her waist “We must go now, um congratulations on your child once again. Health and happiness for you both”. He smirked as he closed the elevator door and shook his head

  “Too far ?” Maya asked

“Just enough to piss her off” he answered back with a grin   Maya chuckled and looked down at her heels, trying to hide the disappointed in her face.

[nalgenewhore]

With My Life - Chapter Nine 

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter 

warnings: (all graphic) violence, guns, blood, smut, implied PTSD

an: very interesting.....all i have to say 

“Hellas, V, is this really where you live?” 

Vaughan shushed Fenrys and ushered the twins into his shitty little apartment, suspiciously checking the hallway before closing the door. They waited as he bolted each lock, every deadbolt going click, click, click, click, click.

Rowan raised his eyebrows and looked at Lorcan, mouthing Five locks. Lorcan just shrugged, Vaughan had always been a private person. He was more interested in the pictures his brother had on his fridge - one of him, Lorcan, and their sisters, one of their mother, and one of him and Lorcan as children, both frowning as the photographer interrupted their game of Mario Kart. 

Lorcan, like the others, had never set foot in Vaughan’s apartment. He was the only one - the sole person - in the world who knew where Vaughan lived, for emergencies, but he’d never been. Not even the agency knew where it was.

Lorcan, Rowan, and Nehemia were already there, sitting at his kitchen table with the decrypted list on Nehemia’s laptop. 

Fenrys took the seat next to his wife and smiled at her, kissing her cheek in greeting. Connall sat next to Lorcan and nodded hello. “Nice place, Vaughan,” he commented, leaning back in his chair and putting his feet on the table. 

Vaughan clicked his tongue as he too sat down, “Get your feet off my table. I eat here.” 

Connall made a face, but did as he was ordered, becoming serious. “Why are we here?” 

“Maeve is connected to Erawan. She’s helping him import Wyrd,” Lorcan said bluntly, turning the computer screen to show them. “Mia couldn’t figure out the codes, but just look.” 

They all leaned in to read. Rowan sat upright first, voice hollow, “It’s our old missions.” He picked up the laptop and stood up, pacing as he read, “Sollemere, Mistward, Morath… fuck, even Perranth.” Perranth wasn’t supposed to be on record. The second they’d gotten home, it had been erased from history. 

“Let me see,” Fenrys said, standing and grabbing the computer from Rowan. If it wasn’t such a serious moment, Lorcan might’ve laughed at the childishness of it all and their brotherly dynamic, still unable to share even after all these years. “It’s all here.” 

“What happens now,” Connall asked, serious as he leaned forward to brace his forearms against the table. 

“We leave,” Nehemia said, taking the computer back from Fenrys. “It’s not safe for any of us. I’m sure Maeve had someone watching her back and that they saw me in there yesterday while she was wiping the file. We can’t do any work here and she will put our family at risk, so we go.” 

“Where?” Rowan asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “It has to be far enough from her, but we can’t just leave. People’s lives are in danger.” 

Nehemia and Lorcan exchanged a glance and the former spoke up, “Terrasen. They have an alliance with Wendlyn, but their treaty forbids any foreign secret service working within its borders. We all have contacts there, we’ll be able to work out a deal once we figure out what she wants.”

Fenrys sighed and rubbed his eyes, sitting down heavily in a chair next to Nehemia. She absentmindedly rubbed his back, resting her chin on his shoulder. “We can’t all leave. Somebody needs to stay.” 

Lorcan and Rowan protested immediately, “What are you talking about–” “Fen, it’s not the time to play hero–” 

“I’m not playing hero, Ro,” Fenrys said, voice tired and strained. “She’ll go mad - you know she will, when we leave. She’s unpredictable, boys, and dangerous. We need someone on the inside, someone she trusts.” He glanced upwards at Connall, who nodded grimly. 

Nehemia stiffened, turning to her husband. Her voice was barely above a whisper as she said, “You mean you and Con. Fen…” 

“It’s the only option, sweetheart,” he whispered, his head hung low. “Maeve hasn’t trusted Ro since he married Ae. She looks at L like she’s waiting to kill him and you know she won’t let V live if L leaves. We’re the only option.” 

Nehemia looked at the others as they all took their seats again. No one wanted it to happen, that much was obvious, but realistically… it was the only way. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Elide looked up from the stack of essays she was grading for the undergraduate class when her phone started to ring. 

She capped her purple pen and put it to the side before picking up her phone. The number was one she didn’t recognise, yet she still accepted the call, “Hello?” 

“Princess, it’s me.” 

A smitten smile pulled at her lips just at his voice and Elide leaned back in her chair, “Well, hello. I didn’t recognise the number.” 

“I’m calling from a phone booth, my phone died,” Lorcan explained. “Listen, E, there’s something… something I gotta tell you and it’s going to seem crazy, alright?” 

Apprehension seized her and she almost wished she hadn’t picked up the phone, “What is it?” 

He hesitated on the other end of the line for a second or two. “An old client of mine… he’s made some enemies and… we need to leave the country.” 

Elide laughed, relieved that it was all a joke. But Lorcan didn’t laugh and she froze, “You’re not joking.” 

“No, I’m not. El, I- fuck, I know this really fucks everything up–”

“Yeah!” she cried, standing up to walk around the tiny space behind her desk. “It does, what the fuck, Lorcan? Am I going to be killed? Are you?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Well, how long do we have to leave for?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Fine, where are we going?” 

“Terrasen.”

Elide collapsed into her seat, rubbing her forehead, “I really hate your job.” 

Lorcan chuckled and the sound had her perking up just a bit. “I know, princess. I’m sorry.”

She waved her hand dismissively and then asked, her voice small and quiet, “How much danger are we in?” He didn’t answer and after a few moments when the silence stretched on and on, Elide thought the call had ended. “L, are you still there?” 

“I’m still here, E. We’re in… a lot of danger. They’re powerful people with too many connections. It’s why we need to leave.”

“When.”

“When, what?” 

“When do we need to leave, Lorcan?” 

“...tomorrow morning. Everyone else is packing.” When she didn’t say a thing, he spoke again, “El, baby?”

“Yeah,” she said, staring at the coffee ring on one of the student’s papers. “I have a thesis review tomorrow, Lor. I’ve been preparing for months, I need to be there. Can we go after, please?” 

Elide waited as Lorcan contemplated, tears aching in her throat. This was not how her life was supposed to go. She didn’t want to be on the run. “We can do it. I’ll meet you after, and we’ll go, alright?” 

She hesitated, not sure what she was agreeing to if she said yes. “I don’t know. I just- I don’t understand. What if something happens and- what am I supposed to do, I have things here, in Varese. Aelin is here, my friends are here. I don’t… I don’t know, L.” 

“I know it doesn’t make any sense and I don’t know what you’re thinking, but do you trust me?”  

Elide didn’t need to think before she answered, “Yes.” 

There was a smile in his voice when Lorcan replied, “Then that’s all there is to it, for now. I’ll see you at home.” 

“Ok, then. Love you,” she whispered, smiling softly to herself. 

“Love you too, El.” 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Everyone else had left Vaughan’s, except for him and Nehemia. Lorcan stalked back into the living room and dropped onto the couch. He snapped the cheap burner phone it two and tossed both the pieces on the coffee table. 

Nehemia was in the kitchen, making coffee for them both. “How’d it go?” 

“Fine. She has a meeting tomorrow, so I’ll book the later flights,” he said, staring at the wall. “I checked the safe house in Orynth - it hasn’t been used in a decade and they’ve disabled the alarms.” 

Nehemia padded over to him and passed him one of the coffees before sitting in the armchair, her legs curled beneath her. The kitchen light played off the golden cuffs in her Fulani braids as she tilted her head back against the chair. “We have to tell her, Lorcan.” 

He didn’t say a word. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

When he got home, Elide was curled up on the couch, watching an animated movie on the flatscreen. It was warm and cozy, the fireplace lit and casting heat around the apartment. 

His girlfriend paused the movie and turned to look at him, smiling brightly, “Hi.” 

Lorcan hung up his jacket and loosened his tie before walking over to her. “What are you watching?” 

“Atlantis: The Lost Empire,” she said, turning back to the movie and pressing pay. “Do you want to watch with me?” 

“‘Course I do,” he scoffed, tipping her chin back with his fingers to kiss her deeply. She made a soft sound and smiled against his lips, causing him to pull back. “I’m gonna change, but I’ll be right back.” 

Her gaze had already strayed to the screen and she nodded absentmindedly, waving him off, “Go, go.” 

Lorcan chuckled and walked up to their room, swapping out his black suit and shirt for a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. When he walked back downstairs, Elide was on the phone, her voice chirping and bubbly. 

He made a face at her phone voice and she flipped him off, narrowing her eyes in that way that said, Don’t you dare make me laugh right now. Laughing, he sauntered over to the couch and flopped onto it, stretching across it lengthwise. 

Lorcan resumed the movie, making a note to thank Elide for the choice - he hadn’t watched this movie in ages. It reminded him of those rainy days, the only ones he spent inside during his childhood. 

Their mother’s room was the only room with enough electricity to power their clunky and boxy television, so all four of them - Lorcan, Vaughan, Aneha, and Sadirah - would pile on Odette’s bed and watch the few VHS they owned. 

A petite body joined his, fitting perfectly against his side. Lorcan dropped his arm to wrap it around Elide and she rested her head against his chest. “I ordered Chinese. They said it would take thirty minutes.” 

He hummed, idly rubbing her arm. Without taking his eyes off the television, Lorcan asked her, “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“About what?” 

He sighed through his nose, “El.” 

She rolled onto her side, burying her face in his shirt. “Don’t worry, I packed and told Darrow that I needed to take a leave. It’s… tomorrow, everything changes. I want one normal night. Just a boy and a girl, watching old Disney movies and eating shitty takeout, ok?”

Lorcan nodded, dipping to rest his chin on her head, “Ok.” 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

They watched Atlantis: The Lost Empire, the movie just wrapping up when Malakai buzzed to say that their takeout had arrived. 

When Malakai had found out that Lorcan was, in fact, very much alive, there had been a long hug, followed by a vicious beration. Lorcan had never looked smaller. 

“Rock, paper, scissors,” said Elide. “Best of three and no cheating.” 

Lorcan smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn’t miss the way her gaze strayed to his ink-covered biceps and waggled his eyebrows at her, delighting in the blush she couldn’t stop. “Do we really need to resort to rock, paper, scissors to decide who has to go get the food?” 

“Oh, are you volunteering?” 

“Fuck no, let’s go, Lochan,” he said. 

Forty-five seconds later, Elide was snickering as he grabbed his wallet and shook his head. “You cheated.” 

She just shrugged and waved him off, already choosing a new movie. “The Princess Diaries or Clueless?” 

“If it’s not The Princess Diaries: Two, I’ll cry,” he replied, putting his slides on before he ducked out to the elevator, her laughter following him. 

Apparently, Elide had ordered enough to feed a small army, or he and the boys. Lorcan was carefully balancing it all as he kicked the door shut behind him. 

Elide had opened a bottle of whiskey and there was a glass waiting for him on the island. 

She turned to him and clapped her hands, popping off the couch to race over to him. Elide was humming as she took the bags and unpacked it all, eyes gleaming. 

Lorcan leaned against the island and grabbed his glass, taking a sip and whistling, “Shit, you opened the good shit.” 

Elide snorted, gesturing to the bottle on the coffee table, “I know my whiskey, Salvaterre.” 

“You really are the perfect woman,” he said, meaning every word. 

Her cheeks pinked prettily and she clicked her tongue as she opened the lids, stacking them on the side, “Charmer.” She grabbed the bamboo chopsticks and the hot sauce packets. “Do you want chopsticks or a fork?” 

Lorcan drew back in offence, “I know how to use chopsticks, princess.” At her disbelieving look, he rolled his eyes, “I do, but maybe…” he took another sip of the amber liquor before putting the glass down, leaning close to her and whispering seductively, “you could teach me, hmm?” 

She laughed, pushing him away and shaking her head. “That is the weirdest way you’ve ever tried to hit on me.” 

“You’ve been hit on in weirder ways than chopstick lessons?” 

“You’d be surprised,” Elide said dryly, rolling her eyes, “what a nice pair of tits will have men saying.” 

Lorcan’s eyes dropped to her chest in her crop top and hummed, sucking on his teeth, “Mm, they are nice.” 

“Pig,” she hissed, putting her hand over his face and shoving him back. “Play nice.” 

“I always play nice with your tits, baby,” Lorcan purred, his lazy smile only growing when she shot him a glare that would have made Hellas’ fiery realm freeze over. 

“Say one more thing and you’ll never get to play with them ever again.” 

He chuckled and held his hands up in surrender, slowly backing away to the cabinets. Elide could barely hide her smile as he passed her a plate and they piled food on their plates before walking back to the couch. 

Lorcan grabbed the whiskey bottle and sat down next to her, the pair quickly becoming lost in their own world of shitty takeout, Disney movies, and expensive alcohol. 

After the Princess Diaries were done, they played rock, paper, scissors once more to decide between… Lorcan couldn’t remember. 

The bottle lay empty on the carpet and his vision was blurred. Elide was giggling softly, her eyes bright, “Alrigh… alright, hol’ on, ok? We gotta… we gotta go on one, two, three!” 

Lorcan laughed and shook his head, “No, no, we gotta sleep. Remember? We’re leaving tomorrow.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Elide said, “‘cause someone wants to kill us.” She laughed, smiling brightly. 

“I don’t even know why,” he complained, lying back on the floor. “We’re really nice.” 

“And pretty.” 

“The prettiest,” Lorcan confirmed. With a heavy sigh, he slowly got to his feet and hoisted Elide over his shoulder. She shrieked and wiggled until he smacked her ass, her cries of protest melting into an over-the-top, teasing moan. 

“Oh, hit me harder,” she begged, voice high and breathy. “Please, sir.”

Lorcan shook his head at her, “Disgusting. No more talking from you.” 

She giggled again and braced her elbow on his back, propping her chin up on her fist. “You got a nice ass, Salvaterre.” 

He snorted, “Yours ain’t too bad either, princess.” 

Elide hummed and stayed still for the rest of the trip, her thoughts becoming more mellow, as opposed to jumpy, wild things. 

They were more like a fog now, settling heavy over her mind. 

And then, there was the ugly thought, the one she had only thought of once, just one time before banishing it to the depths of her brain. 

Lorcan placed Elide down and brushed her hair from her eyes. 

She gave him a lazy smile, trailing her elegant fingertips over his full lips. “You know what, Lorcan?” 

“What, Elide?” 

“I have a secret,” she whispered, her eyes shining with something, he couldn’t place it. “It’s a… a doozy, as they say.” 

Lorcan laughed, flopping down beside her. “Tell me.” 

“Sometimes,” she murmured, now running a finger up and down the straight bridge of his nose, “I wish I never met you.” 

The words, those horrible words, hit him like a blow to the gut and Lorcan breathed out slowly. “Hmm.” He shut his eyes to stop Elide from seeing the pain in them. “That’s…” 

“It’s awful, isn’t it?” she hummed, glancing out the window to the moon beyond it. 

Lorcan didn’t respond, but he was still awake as Elide fell into a deep, inebriated sleep. 

I wish I never met me either, Elide.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: well.....looks like the gang is going on a road trip ! 

@mythicaitt​​ @tinywolfofeyllwe​​ @schmlip-scribble​​ @the-regal-warrior​​ @empire-of-wildfire​​ @rhysands-highlady​​ @ttakeitbacknoww​​ @shyvioletcat​​ @alifletcher2012​​ @tswaney17​​ @ourbooksuniverse​​ e @flora-and-fae​​ @thesirenwashere​​ @queenofxhearts​​ @maastrash​​ @mynewdreamwasyou​​ @cursebreaker29​​ @empress-ofbloodshed​​ @b00kworm​​ @hizqueen4life​​ @silversprings98​​ @amren-courtofdreams​​​ @minaidss​​ @superspiritfestival​​ @lovemollywho​​ @queen-of-glass​​ @jlinez​​ @sleeping-and-books​​ @ireallyshouldsleeprn​​ @verypaleninja​​ @januarystears​​ @magicalunicorngypsy​​ @sis-it-dont-add-up​

[cordria]

Horror

Danny dropped onto his bed with a groan, exhausted after a long day of traveling. Of course Jazz had to pick a college so far away, and end up in a dorm room up several flights of stairs, and pack herself a library’s worth of heavy books. It had been a very long couple of hours getting her settled in her dorm room.

But now she was gone, and Danny’s head was filling with all the positives. The quieter house. An empty room - the larger one, with the better view - that Danny had plans for maneuvering himself in to. And, perhaps the best one, no more nosy budding therapist trying to explain away everything she saw.

He stretched, feeling some of the tension in his muscles fade away. Being home was awesome.

“FAMILY MEETING!” came a shout from downstairs.

Danny moaned, rolling onto his stomach and burying his head in his hands. “Really?” he muttered. “We’ve been home for, like, five minutes.” He glanced over at his bag, still sitting where he’d thrown it. “I haven’t even unpacked yet.”

“DANNY!”

“Alright, alright,” Danny said, crawling off his bed and slinking downstairs. He really would rather have taken a nap.

His parents were already perched in their spots in the living room, a vaguely familiar poster spread out on the coffee table. Danny eyed it, then headed towards his normal spot on the couch. It felt weird, being the only one on the couch. Lopsided, almost.

“We just got home,” Danny complained, “what’s so important?”

His mother took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders, and glanced at his father. Danny followed the look, but looked back at Maddie when neither spoke. “Well,” she finally started, “we’ve been talking.”

Obviously. Danny caught the word before it escaped his mouth. There was always a lot of conversation leading up to one of these family meetings. Danny usually knew what these meetings were going to be about, because his family didn’t have the ability to discuss things in any sort of a quiet tone. This one was a bit of surprise - a lot of the talking had probably happened in the RV, driving back from dropping Jazz off at college, while Danny was listening to music and playing games on his phone. He twitched an eyebrow up, waiting for her to continue.

“Now that you’re the oldest child here, that comes with certain responsibilities and expectations-”

“You’re going to have more chores,” Jack cut in.

“Jack,” she chided. “That’s not… well, yes, we’re going to have to split the chores three ways now instead of four, so we’ll all have more chores… but that’s not the point of this conversation.”

“Then why did you make me get the chore poster?” Jack muttered.

Maddie scowled at the man before turning back to Danny with a smile.

Danny felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise and his stomach tighten. “Um…?”

“You’re older, you’re getting more responsible, and we want to reward that budding maturity. And we want to start getting you on a path towards becoming a young man.”

Danny waited. His mother was being very, very careful with her words. It didn’t bode well. “Okay...” he said into the silence, trying to figure out where this was going. It always paid to be two steps ahead of his parents when they were planning their words this carefully; these sorts of conversations rarely worked out in his favor.

“Starting next week, you’re going to start working for us a few hours each week. Mostly weekends, so you can keep caught up with your school work.”

Danny’s jaw dropped. “But I don’t have time for that!” he protested. “The ghosts don’t-”

“That’s another thing we need to discuss,” she interrupted, her voice going from searching and tentative to more firm. “With your sister here, we had someone to help keep tabs on this ghost hunting thing of yours-”

“Thing?” Danny complained. “But you guys love gho-”

Maddie held up a hand. “-and we certainly don’t want to squash your interests, but it is dangerous. Being out on your own isn’t safe.”

“I have Sam and Tucker!”

“Who are little more responsible than you are,” she said. “Danny-”

Danny bounded to his feet, offended by the implication that the three of them couldn’t handle themselves. They’d done perfectly fine the last two years. “Jazz isn’t even two years older than me. You trusted her to watch me, but not me to watch myself?”

“Jazz is significantly more reasonable and responsible than you are, and you know that.”

“Dad,” Danny turned to his father, who had stayed remarkably quiet. “You agreed with this?”

The man opened his mouth, but closed it again.

“Danny,” his mother said, coming over and pulling him into a hug. “Sweetie. Calm down a bit. You’re reading more into this than there is.” 

Danny held still, feeling her warmth against his back. He let out a short breath. 

“It’s a couple hours a week - you’ll be paid, of course - and a plan to keep tabs on what you’re doing a bit better.” Her voice was quiet in his ear. “And yes, perhaps a few more chores.”

“You don’t need to keep better tabs on me-” Danny protested.

She turned him around by his shoulders, her nose inches from his. “Danny, I should have been keeping better tabs on you for years,” she whispered. “It never should have been Jazz’s job.”

Danny pulled away from her a bit, eyeing her suspiciously. This didn’t sound like her at all. His parents believed in independence and scientific discovery and whatnot. Based on a solid sixteen years of evidence, his parents certainly didn’t believe in… parenting. She wasn’t possessed - he’d know. And she didn’t even have an echo of having been possessed. “Who got into your head?” he asked. “You were perfectly fine with it being Jazz’s job yesterday.”

“Jazz and I talked-”

“Of course,” Danny muttered, dropping down onto the couch. His sister had followed him home after all. No doubt this whole conversation was her idea. It certainly helped explain why it was happening so soon after they got home.

“She’s right, Danny,” his father cut in. “Jazz did have a point.”

Danny shot the man an unhappy look. He rubbed a hand over his face. “So what does this mean?”

“I was getting to it,” Maddie said, sitting back down herself and taking a deep breath. “You’re going to work a few hours a week with us-” she gestured to herself and Jack, “like I said, mostly on the weekends. Think of the benefits, Danny. You’ll make a little money, you’ll know a bit more about the science of ghost hunting, and the finances of our business-”

“I don’t want to know the finances of your business,” Danny interrupted. “I’m not part of your business.” 

Maddie hesitated a moment. “Sweetie…”

“Mom…” he parroted back.

“You… I…” she seemed uncertain of what to say.

Danny pressed his advantage. His parents hated having these parenting moments. They were never comfortable with it. Over the years, he and Jazz had perfected the art of sidetracking them. “Look, I get the point of this. I’ll help you guys out a bit on the weekends, and I’ll keep you more informed of what I’m doing, right? I promise. Can I go?”

“No.” She straightened her shoulders. “Danny, we need to start being realistic.”

Danny was already half off the couch. He paused, startled. Normally his parents would have taken the out he’d given them, and everyone would have left the meeting happy that they had gotten their point across and nothing would have actually changed. That was the pattern. “Realistic?” he asked.

“It shouldn’t have taken Jazz sitting me down and pointedly saying so, but it did.” His mother sighed. “It shouldn’t have taken this long for me to decide to be a parent, but it did.”

Danny blinked, and glanced over at his father. Jack looked uncomfortable, but he wasn’t leaving. In fact, he looked like he was ready to back up Maddie. 

She continued. “We can’t keep pretending that the future is a long ways away. We can’t keep pretending that the future will just be normal for you. Certain accommodations will need to happen-”

Danny didn’t like the way this conversation was going. 

“-and it just is what it is. Your father and I have to be more involved with what you are doing, to help you stay safe and to start to understand how best to help you. And you’re going to be more involved with what we are doing, to start opening some future paths for you.”

“I already have a future path,” Danny said. “I’m going to college, maybe astronomy or something. None of my future paths involve working for you guys on the weekends.” He shook his head. “I don’t mind it - having a bit more money sounds good and all - but I don’t need to. I could get a job somewhere else too. The Nasty Burger is hiring.”

“And how long would you stay employed?” Maddie asked. “You disappear all the time.”

Danny hesitated. “There’s lots of jobs… but I already said I’d work for you guys on the weekends, right?”

“I’m talking longer term, Sweetie,” she sighed. “You’re only making it through school by the skin of your teeth as it is, with Sam and Tucker basically teaching you what you missed after school. How do you think college will go?”

“I’m not in college yet,” Danny shot back. “So why are we worrying about it?”

“Danny…” she trailed off. 

“What?” he asked after the silence stretched on for almost a minute.

She pressed her eyes closed and rubbed at her face. “Let’s… let’s just deal with today. You’re going to start working with us. We’re going to set up a plan to keep better tabs on you.”

“I already agreed to that. Can I go now?” Danny asked.

For a moment, Danny thought his mother would go with it. She looked tired of the conversation. “No. We need an actual plan. One we’ll actually follow. We all know what will happen if we don’t.”

Danny gritted his teeth. He’d been counting on the lack of follow through. “Like what?” he asked. “You want me to text you? Call you?”

“Yes, that’d be a good start,” she said. “Not Sam or Tucker either - you. And two extra hours of unpaid work each time you forget.”

“But sometimes-”

“You, Sweetie. If there’s ever a time when it’s so important you can’t text me, then the two hours of unpaid work would be worth it, right?”

Danny scowled at her. “Why? Why does it have to be me? Why is that so important?”

“Because,” she said, frustratingly not giving an answer. 

“Can I go now, then?”

She let a breath out through her nose. “Fine. Repeat back what you’re going to be doing and you can go.”

“I’m going to text you when there’s a ghost. And I’m going to work a bit for you on the weekends.” Danny got up from the couch. “Can I go now?”

She nodded. 

Danny shot a glance at his father, who nodded as well, and Danny took the opportunity to escape up the stairs, desperate to get away from this conversation.

“You were a big help,” he heard his mother say sarcastically behind him. Danny hesitated at the top step, glancing back. “And Jazz was right. He doesn’t understand at all, does he?”

“And we didn’t even update the chore poster,” his father added.

“Enough with the chores, Jack,” she said. “This is bigger than chores. How could we have missed this?” There was a loud sigh. “What sort of rotten parents are we?”

[opheliacassiopea]

CHAPTER 10.

TW: Mentions of a weapon.

Landing back in Quantico that evening was a welcome feeling, the few hours of sleep you managed to get on the plane making little difference in rejuvenating your body and you were practically on auto-pilot for the short twenty-five minute drive back to your apartment. Typing in your alarm code, you quickly tidy your things away, securing your weapon and your credentials. It might seem odd to start tidying your apartment when your body is aching all over, and you’re practically dead on your feet, but it calms you, tethers you to some form of normalcy. So you cleaned the small amount of mess you’d left in your rush to get to work once you’d gotten the call to come in, you weren’t really a messy person anyway so it didn’t take long. Apartment cleaned, you set about fixing yourself dinner and hopping into the shower, turning the water to the highest temperature, the hot water bringing you comfort, easing your sore shoulder and side as you wash away the stress of the last few days.

Despite how tired you are, you fear that sleep won’t come to you easily, you had a lot to think about, your mind still focused on the case that technically still wasn’t over as the paperwork hadn’t been completed, and of course you couldn’t help but think of Hotch, what had happened between the two of you. Realistically you knew nothing would come of it, but that didn’t mean you could suddenly stop thinking about it altogether, it was incredibly good sex after all, and the sweet moments afterwards were something you couldn’t forget any time soon. Clambering into bed and getting comfortable under the covers, you find that sleep washes over you quickly, leading you into a dreamworld. Many hours later you awaken from a peaceful sleep the next morning, feeling well rested and slightly less sore than the day before and decide to make the most of your morning off, choosing to change the bedsheets and open all the windows to let in some fresh air. Along with the rest of the team, you were having to head into the office later that afternoon to fill out the paperwork for the recent case in Bend. 

Much like your appearance, you look pride in your apartment looking the very best it could be, and much like your appearance, your apartment truly resembled you too. It was a fairly decent sized apartment, the reasonably sized living room decked out with fashionable, yet vintage looking sofas and chairs that were situated around the antique coffee table that faced toward the TV. Arguably the best part of the living room was that in the cupboards of the small coffee table, was a small projector that allowed you to play some of your favourite films, or productions of your favourite books and it was something you often did on your days off. Stacks of books, plants and knickknacks lined the shelves that covered many of the walls, all arranged to look neat and tidy, rather than cluttered. The back corner of the room was home to your record player and cart of vinyl's, next to your beautiful wooden piano, plants and candles covering the top. There were many smaller lamps dotted around on the side tables throughout the room, small trails of fairy lights used to accentuate certain accessories.

The back wall of your bedroom was painted in your favourite colour, a deep forest green, your bed placed directly in front of it whilst the rest of the walls were exposed brick, which was the main reason you’d fallen in love with this particular apartment. There was a decent sized wardrobe along with a full length mirror, chest of draws and a small vanity, all home to strategically placed plants, accessories and yet more fairy lights to make the room warm and inviting. You used the smaller box room at the end of the hallway as an office so had decided to keep the colour scheme fairly neutral since it also doubled as a spare room, but was still filled with yet more books and little knickknacks that you absolutely adored and truly made your apartment feel like home and the walls were adorned with your various achievements. Your bathroom could be described as a jungle, multiple plants lived on the window and hung down from the ceiling in macramé pots, loving that it made the room feel more open. The kitchen was relatively simple, a decent sized dining table with benches and chairs always sporting fresh flowers in the middle and the windowsill lined with various cookbooks you’d yet to even open. In short, you loved your apartment, it was your sanctuary, where you felt safest and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride when it came to your home.

Filling the rest of your morning with errands and odd jobs like laundry and food shopping, your morning off scurries by in a hurry and you’re soon headed back to Quantico, ready to speed through the necessary paperwork and potentially catch up on any other administrative tasks you needed to complete. The bullpen is relatively quiet upon your arrival and as you walk through the glass doors, you can already see Reid halfway done with whatever he’s working on, smiling to yourself you stop by the breakroom to grab yourself a tea. 

“I’m surprised that you’re here on time, you looked dead on your feet yesterday” Prentiss greets you as you enter, handing you your mug from the cupboard.

“How charming of you” you rebuke, swatting her on the shoulder as you take the mug. “I feel way better after a decent night's sleep” you tell her as you finish making your drink.

Sensing she wants to say something you turn to face her as she begins to speak up. “That case, I know it was your first of its kind and it was pretty intense, I just want to check in with you”. Concern was apparent in all of her features and as always you appreciated how the team looked out for you, for each other.

“Seriously, I’m fine, all good I promise. Not looking forward to sorting out this paperwork, the reports are gonna be much more complicated, and with that being said, we better get a move on” you say as you exit the breakroom and head over to your desk, freshly made tea in hand. 

After a couple of hours of completing various forms and case reports, you begin to bring the report you were working on to a close and as you came to the end of the sentence you were writing, you lean back and flick your gaze to Hotch’s office to find that he was already looking at you. Sending him a small smile, which he returns immediately, you dip your head down and continue working the day away, offering to help JJ with some of her extra case consults.

Finally the weekend rolls around and you’re buzzing with excitement, once a month the team meets for breakfast in a local diner and if you’re being honest, it’s one of your favourite pastimes with the team. It’s laidback, it’s easy and you relish in the simplicity of it. It’s not even been ten minutes since you’ve all sat down at one of the large round booths at the back of the diner, conversation flowing; Spencer telling Emily and JJ about traditions for new homeowners, Derek and Penelope swapping office gossip, whilst you’re engaged in a conversation with Dave and Hotch about the upcoming FBI triathlon in a few months when you’re interrupted by your phone ringing.

“SSA Paisley Selwyn” you speak into the phone, wondering why nobody else was taking a phone call, let alone a phone call from a bureau phone number; normally the entire team would receive a phone call if you were all out of the office to inform you of a new case or potential emergency. 

“This is Heather Price, Chief of the Crime Translation Unit. We’re in need of a translator for a case we’re working and as a language and linguistics expert, you’d be the perfect fit to help”

she tells you over the phone and you’re slightly unsure, you’d heard of the unit a few times in passing, but never been involved. This might strike an outsider as odd considering as the woman rightly stated, you did specialise in linguistics, but the BAU appealed to you much more.

“I’m flattered, but is there nobody else that can fill in for the case?” you query, you loved your work, but sometimes you needed a break and you weren’t overly keen on leaving breakfast with the team. With such bizarre schedules and hectic jobs, sometimes dealing with unspeakable things, you welcomed any normality that you can find. For that morning the eight of you aren’t FBI agents, you’re just eight friends out for breakfast and today that’s exactly what you needed. 

“Unfortunately not no. We’re keen to make use of your profiling abilities too. I’ll see you here in no less than forty minutes” she informs you, hanging up shortly after. Letting out a small sigh, you twist with the two pendants hanging around your neck, you’d been looking forward to this morning since the moment last month's breakfast ended and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by the team. 

Seeing your slightly crestfallen facial expression as you place your phone on the table, Derek is the first to question you. “What’s going on, Lee? Who was that?” concern evident on his face.

“Heather Price, she’s requested my help on a translation case” you tell him, looking down at the table as you do and when you look back up, you have the entire eyes of the team focused on you, a range of facial expressions on show; JJ and Emily look slightly surprised, Spence and Dave looked proud, whereas Hotch’s expression never falters, staying stoic as ever.  

Spencer’s eyebrows suddenly shoot up. “The translation unit? Isn’t that where Oliver WIlliams works?” he questions and you know he already knows the answer, his voice raising slightly being the dead giveaway and despite your slight annoyance at having to leave you can’t help but laugh at him.

“Don’t act like you don’t already know that, you’re not that smooth, Spence. I’ll tell him you said hi” you tell him, through Derek's confused expression only makes you laugh all the more, clearly he hadn’t been clued in on Spencer’s slight crush. Collecting yourself, you turn your attention to the brightly dressed woman to your left.

Penelope however, looked outraged that you had to leave. “What?! Now?! But it’s your day off, you can’t miss our breakfast, you’ve been looking forward to this for ages! Is there really nobody else they can call?”. Penelope exclaims, waving her hands as she expresses her annoyance at the interruption. Arguably, Penelope valued these outings with the team more than the rest of you might have done, working back in her office to perform her technical magic whilst the rest of you were out in the field, or even another state, left her somewhat isolated and therefore occasionally missing out of the odd inside joke so times like these were perfect for filling her in on any missed gossip and it broke your heart to see her upset at the change in plans.

“I know, I know, sorry PG, we’ll just have to do something another time” you tell her, kissing her cheek as you begin to gather your things in order to leave. Standing up, you bid the rest of the team a hurried goodbye, hearing the end of their conversation as you go.

“How many languages does she even speak? I lose track of her sometimes” JJ questions, though you can tell she’s joking and it’s Reid who answers.

“Three; French, Spanish and Italian. Though if you count sign language, it would be four, which is marginally impressive because statistically speaking..”.

Quickly swinging by your apartment to pick up your weapon and credentials, you decided against changing out of your very casual outfit, this was meant to be your day off after all. 

It was an odd feeling riding the elevator to a different floor, nerves building in your stomach for whatever it was you were about to work on. Stepping out of the elevator and taking a deep breath, you’re greeted by who you assume to be the woman you spoke with on the phone. “Unit Chief Heather Price, nice to meet you, please, come this way” she introduces herself to you with a welcoming smile, gesturing for you to follow her to her office.

“As I mentioned on the phone, we’re in need of an translator, specifically for Italian translations. I realise that your primary work for the bureau isn’t in fact translating, but you’ve come highly recommended to us and we think your knowledge of language and linguistics, along with your profiling abilities would prove to be an incredibly useful asset for this case” she informs you, handing you a brown folder that clearly contains the case information that you flip open and start to read over, leaning back on one of the office chairs when there’s a knock at the door.

“You wanted to see me?” the voice questions. Head snapping up from the file in your hand, you see that the voice belongs to a male detective and you immediately placed him to be Oliver Williams thanks to Spencer’s descriptions. He’d confided in you about his small crush during

one of the late night sessions in the library; the two had met around a month ago when the team was working a local case and in order to solidify a theory you and he were working on, Reid had gone to the translation office to collect a transcription manual and bumped into the man and since then the two had been buying each other coffee

“Ah, yes I did” Price tells him, ushering him into the room. “This is Dr Paisley Selwyn, I requested her help on this case as you know”. Pushing yourself up from the arm of the chair, you lean forward to shake his hand and the two of you exchange pleasantries and you can tell that the both of you will get on well as Price starts going over the case plan, explaining that 

essentially the two of you would be left to your own devices, taking the lead on the case and she would only be stepping in when it came to the interrogation of the suspect. 

Following Williams back out to the larger desk spaces, the two of you begin working the case, starting over from the very beginning, and coming up with entirely new strategies regarding everything from the translations of smaller articles of evidence, to various interview methods and spoken translations. Eventually you found yourself working in a rhythm with Williams, discovering that the two of you had similar methods in translating which sped the process along and soon you found yourself enjoying the work you were doing; applying theories, methods and techniques you hadn’t used since doing your masters degree and it came as an easy reminder as to why you loved working with language. When it came time for the interrogation of the suspect, it wasn’t hard to tell that both Price and Williams were impressed with your translation skills, picking up on the smallest changes and inconsistencies that eventually brought the case to a close at around eleven o’clock in the evening. 

Now you were sat with Williams filling out the huge stack of files for the case, because you weren’t officially part of the unit, there was more paperwork than usual and by the time you were both done and finally out the door, it was pushing midnight. Walking to your cars, the two of you conversed like you’d known each other for a lot longer than a day and you called across the car park to him “Oi, Williams, Spence told me to tell you hi” which caused him to smile from ear to ear and blush a deep pink and you smiled to yourself as you made your way home, singing along to the radio as you drove.

A/N: I can’t believe I’ve written 10 chapters of this fic already! Tried making this a slightly shorter chapter as the past few have been quite long. Don’t forget you can follow along and read the story over on my Wattpad: @opheliacassiopea

As always, let me know what you think; any feedback is welcome!🖤

[purplepalmdelight]

why life is still okay (rambling fic rec pt. 1)

firstly: shout out to @trulyalpha for apparently owning my entire bookmarks page on ao3 (bc i only realised all my favourite fics were written by the same person,,, yesterday. bc im really smart like that) anyway breakdown of why she’s a stoncy saving grace thanks!!!

you ease my mind, you make everything feel fine.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/13842039)

yes this fic is from 2018. yes i read it every other week. it’s good for the SOUL. jonathan getting taken care of is always just such a good and sweet concept (maybe it’s my intense, undying love of him, but he deserves to be taken care okay) and. okay i’ll admit, sometimes i forget how fucking FUNNY this fic is, but it’s genuinely hilarious, okay? you gotta trust me on this. it makes me cackle at inappropriate times absurdly often. ("Hi." "Hi." "I want you, you fuck." is a top line. i laugh so hard every TIME.) all three of them are so incredibly in character, and somehow this NAILS the fact that they’re all massive disasters pretending to be confident. and i’m not someone that reads ~smut~ often (though it’s more mentioned than described, very non-explicit) but this didn’t make me even the least bit uncomfortable. it felt very natural and in character and made me laugh as much as the rest of the story. all in all, i always come away a little more in love with the characters, and that’s a really precious feeling.

you could be the one to make me feel something

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269476/chapters/32912745)

i take back everything i’ve ever claimed. this IS the funniest piece of writing i’ve ever read, and it WILL remain so, probably until the day i die. i honestly... barely have words. my expectations were high when i started it, but in retrospect, they were LEAGUES below what i got. the characterisation, the progression, the dialogue, the story; from the overarching aspects to the tiny details, it’s impeccable. i genuinely read this twice in one day, and then again the next. every single part of it is so good, but in terms of FAVOURITES... the christmas section. hilarious. down to its bones, well crafted and heart felt. it hits me right in the chest every time. the story, from the beginning, has me just as in love with nancy and steve as jonathan is, and as everything grows more intense, so does my investment. it pulls me in and doesn’t let me go until it’s good and ready to see me leave. again, the sexy aspects are so in character and natural that it’s uncomfortable or weird to read and instead just leave me grinning like an idiot. also ( “It did frustrate me, in more ways than one. It’s also a weird plan, like … did you expect me to be so overwhelmed by the power of a boner that I’d just admit my feelings?” is SUCH a funny line, i think about it literally every day. literally. every. day.) the characters are afraid to be messy, to make mistakes, and they all feel so ALIVE that when i leave the story, i feel like i’m leaving a friend. it’s honestly beautiful and honestly breathtaking. this story is better than a lot of published books, honestly, and i’m so grateful for it. so thank you.

i crash my car ‘cause i wanna get carried away!

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/17131202)

...you really wanted to make me cry, huh? i cried out of grief, yeah, out of the depth of nancy’s guilt and the pure rawness of her mourning, but i also cried out of catharsis as she came to terms, and out of laughter a few times. the bit about total eclipse of the heart as a motif was... that was so well done. i hate drawing comparisons, so please understand that this is criticism of a concept and not a particular story, but in so many stories then nancy’s grief feels... trivialised? that’s not quite the right word. romanticised, maybe. as someone who has lost a friend in the past, it’s just... it doesn’t feel realistic? and that’s okay, because it’s hard to nail something you haven’t experienced, and i wouldn’t wish the experience on anyone. it’s just that stories like this, where i can really resonate with nancy and follow the journey of her recovery WITH her are so rare. this story is a gem, it really is. i don’t love it for all the same reasons as the others, but i love it fiercely all the same.

there’s nothing magic going on, and then along came you

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/14994137)

sure, you could be the one is the funniest fic i’ll probably ever read, but nothing magic is such a close second. it’s laugh-out-loud, get-tears-in-your-eyes, fall-out-of-your-chair, and it’s also so goddamn SWEET i can hardly stand it. of the several fics i generally group together in my head (nothing magic, you could be the one + its sequels (might have to make an individual post about this series), laugh until we think we’ll die, and got nothing for you; all very similar, yet incredibly unique) nothing magic is the shortest, but that doesn’t mean it compromises on quality, oh no. it just means i can read it quicker, and therefore more often! when it’s late and i’m tired and i need a laugh to calm down before i sleep, i generally go search this fic up. remember when i mentioned the whole “being just as in love with nancy and steve as jonathan is” thing? it’s like that except... almost funnier. in you could be the one, it’s just that the story naturally tugs you into adoring these two messy, silly, sweet, amazing young adults, because how could you not? how else could you possibly feel? but here, they are genuinely just... that funny. they are actually just so funny that you as a reader click with them and find yourself grinning like an IDIOT because oh my god you’re disasters. maybe it’s the inherent relatability of a tired highschooler trying to make it through the summer and hating his job along the way, but this fic hits right in the heart every damn time.

got nothing for you other than love

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/17596658)

"You trust me," she says.

They both know it's a fact, not question, but he still says, "Of course."

and

By then, his shell wasn't something he could step out of. It was part of him. But that was okay. He didn't need more. What he had was enough.

He always did have trouble with wanting more.

and

"Hey, babe?" Nancy turns her head to look at Steve, touching his shoulder. "Can you buy me a drink?"

"Sure thing. What d'ya want?"

"Surprise me. Not like that time we were here and you snuck out the store, went to a smoothie stand, and came back with a mango smoothie."

Steve grins. "But I did surprise you."

and

"Do you have food in the backseat?"

"The sandwich has only been there for like, two weeks—"

and

"Ugh. Too much cheese. I'm lactose-intolerant, remember?"

"False, you're not intolerant of anyone except people over the age of fifteen with bowl cuts and guys who wear shorts in the winter."

and

"Where are you off to? I'm your only friend," Kali says, frowning.

and

"You good, man?"

"Yeah," he says, his throat dry, "I'm great."

"Yeah, you are," Nancy says, and he is. He is.

and i can’t continue because that’s, like, barely halfway into the fic and i’ve already skipped so many of my favourite lines and i would have to skip so many more. you see what i mean about sathana being funny as hell? and like all the others, it’s not just the humour here. i mean... it is, because it’s SO FUCKING FUNNY I LITERALLY CANNOT SAY THAT ENOUGH but the reason it’s so funny is because it’s so candid. it’s so smooth. the whole thing flows. you’re not left feeling that you’ve missed a piece or that anything was sacrificed; you just feel like you’ve read something incredible. this fic is an experience of its own that i honestly have never experienced before. it’s sweet, and it’s gentle, and it’s just so overwhelmingly good that i don’t think i’ll ever quite get over it. in short? it’s a blessing. my expectations were high, but holy fuck did you blow them to bits.

one more favourite line:

Things are ending, things are starting, and everything looks bright. It won't always be that way. The sun's got to set at some point. But, gazing up at the sky, at the pink bleeding into orange, Jonathan figures it'll have to rise again. No matter what happens, these two things are constant.

"Hey, you look awfully lonely," Nancy calls out, walking towards him, reaching out to him with the hand not in Steve's.

Well. Maybe not just those two things.

that scene, in general, is beautiful, and it wraps the story up on such a genuine note. it feels like a film with how clearly i can picture it. it feels like no fic i’ve ever really read before. it feels... good. i guess i don’t really have the words. it just feels so good.

as an overall statement on why i call her my favourite author... it’s the realism. maybe that’s surprising, considering how many times i said “funny” or “hilarious” in here, but in the end, i wouldn’t be so attached to her work if it didn’t feel so real. i can open a tab and instantly get transported to a home i’ve never lived in. it’s comfortable. it’s sweet. and the dialogue/banter is always perfectly crafted. there’s just never really a downside to her fics, honestly. even if i wanted to search, i don’t think i’d find one. not even one of those “their only problem is that there’s not more to enjoy” kind of comments, because every single one feels perfectly crafted in its own right. it doesn’t need more or less. it stands for itself and it’s goddamn good at it.

i didn’t anticipate having to do multiple parts on this post, but- surprise surprise- i haven’t even gotten to my favourite one yet! so yeah, pt. 2 will be written after i finish the history essay trying to murder me, god knows when that is. in the meantime, please go give her some love and adoration. she deserves it.

[andtheyweredeskmates]

Of Lattes and Lingerie- Adrienette Coffee Shop AU Chapter 3

A few quick notes about this, if you’re interested in being added to the taglist please let me know via replies or dm me. Its really encouraging when people tell you they actually want to keep up with your stories. 

If you haven’t already, you should read the first two parts

1. and 2.

Also, if you’re on desktop, you should check out blog’s home page because I updated the theme (not my code but there’s a link that gives credit to the creator) and it looks dope as shit. I added links to all my original work (art and fics alike) so if you’re interested in that kind of thing, check it out.

I am gonna add a few end notes to this as well regarding the actual content so I’m not giving spoilers at the beginning. Please forgive me because it took a lot of effort to write this. I hate setting up plots (part oft he reason I’ve never really attempted to publish a fic) but I’m really excited to get into the nitty gritty which should start in the next chapter.

TAGLIST

@catsssmeow

 Marinette thought she was going to fall over and die. Her face was blazing, her eyes were wide and when she opened her mouth, all she could manage was a squeak.

“WHAT?!”

She was back at the office again with Audrey and she had never been more thankful to be sitting down in a chair.

“Marinette, the fact of the matter is we don’t have enough models booked for the event and you’re the perfect size. We just need one and quite frankly I’m tired of the agency we’ve been using. So the obvious solution is to use you.”

“But I’m not a model! Audrey you know how clumsy I am! And I can’t wear lingerie! In Public! I’ll die!” Audrey rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be a prude Marinette. You designed them; you can wear them. Besides. I’m not asking. You owe me for the fiasco that was yesterday. Don’t think I didn’t notice that your assistant is still here. Even you can handle walking down a catwalk for 2 minutes without falling over. We’ll practice.”

Marinette was now positive she would fall over and die.

…

The ringing of Adrien’s phone never surprised him. It was common for his phone to ring regularly throughout the day, whether it be work, or Chloe or Nino, there always seemed to be someone that urgently needed to talk to him about something that was never really urgent. No, the ringing was unsurprising. What was surprising however was the Caller ID when Adrien picked up the phone. Adrien nearly dropped it when he looked.

GABRIEL AGRESTE

Adrien paced anxiously around his bedroom, thumb hovering over the red button. He didn’t know if he was ready to confront his father. About anything. He had almost been relieved lately that his father had decided to just ignore him. It had let his anxiety just kind of creep around in the background where Adrien could pretend it wasn’t there. But Adrien knew that he had to speak to his father eventually and it had already been weeks. So with a sigh, he squeezed his eyes shut and hit the answer button.

“Hello? Father?” Adrien winced at the frantic sound of his voice.

“Adrien. It’s Natalie. Your father would like for you to come home to discuss a few matters with you.” Adrien rolled his eyes.

“I don’t suppose he could’ve called me himself to tell me that.”

“Your father is very busy. He has a very important show coming up.”

“Yeah, yeah, when does he want me to come?”

“Tonight. 5:30. He’d like to have dinner with you.”

“I guess there’s a first for everything. Tell him I’ll be there.” The phone clicked. She had hung up. Natalie never had been one for pleasantries. Adrien groaned as he flopped backward onto his bed. Just like that, his anxiety had leapt to the foreground and bitch slapped Adrien, as if to say Don’t forget about me fucker.

While realistically, Adrien knew there was nothing his father could hold over his head, he still felt like his freedom was about to be yanked from his fingers as quickly as he’d grasped it.

…

“Alya, what the hell am I gonna do?” It had been four hours since Marinette had gotten the news and she was still frantic. Alya on the other hand was thoroughly amused.

“Think of this as an opportunity. You can show the world that you can do it all.” It took everything Alya had not to laugh into the phone.

“But I can’t do it all! I can’t just walk across a stage in underwear! I can’t even walk across a stage with clothes on!” Marinette was speaking in hushed tones. She had walked into Dunn’s and she was sure she didn’t want anyone to overhear her predicament. She knew all too well how easy (and fun) it was to eavesdrop in a small coffee shop.

“With a little practice, I’m sure you can pull it off. You just have to be in the right mindset! You’re the most stubborn person I know Marinette, if you tell yourself you’re gonna do it, then you’ll figure out a way to do it.” Marinette put her free hand over her face and groaned as she walked to the coffee line.

“This is a disaster.”

“I guess it’s a triple shot of espresso kind of day huh?”  Marinette���s head immediately snapped up to see Tim staring at her expectantly from behind the counter. Marinette flushed as she approached, pulling her wallet out of her purse.

“I’m gonna let you go Alya, talk to you later.”

“Bye girl!” Marinette hung up the phone and looked back at Tim.

“It’s a little embarrassing how well you know me,” she grumbled, throwing a wad of cash onto the counter.

“You learn a lot about a person from their coffee habits,” Tim teased. He counted her cash and handed her the change.

“I’ll bring it out when its ready.”

“Thanks,” Marinette said unenthusiastically. As she walked back to her usual spot, she glanced around. She was disappointed to see that there was no cute blond boy in sight. Nothing to distract her from her thoughts. Not even a project. God, she’d give anything for a project right now. She was spiraling. Contemplating if she really needed a job. Maybe she could just be homeless. Live under a bridge. Beg people for money and then impulsively spend it on coffee. Maybe she could move back home and work in the bakery, forever a failure. That sounded nice.

When Tim handed her the coffee, she took it in her hands and leaned back in her seat with a long deep sigh. She had no idea what the hell she was gonna do.

…

Adrien subconsciously chewed on his lip as he stared at the gate in front of his father’s house. He was definitely not ready for this. He prayed to every god he could think of that at the very least, the night wouldn’t end with death. On second thought, maybe that was too much to ask for.

“Come in Adrien.” Natalie’s robotic voice emanating from the comm system brought Adrien out of his thoughts. He approached hesitantly as the gates opened. He paused at the front door, thinking for just a moment about running away. Locking himself in his apartment with Plagg and never leaving again. Living off Camembert and tap water. Becoming the reclusive cat lady of floor three. That sounded nice.

The front door opened, and Adrien sighed as he walked in.

“Hello Adrien.”

“Hi Natalie. Is my father here?” Natalie gave a curt nod.

“He should be downstairs shortly. He’s finishing up a conference call. He asks that you wait for him at the dinner table.” Adrien nodded and walked back to the dining room. He suddenly felt massively uncomfortable. He took a seat in his old spot at the table and glanced around with uncertainty. This wasn’t his house anymore. So sitting alone in a room, of a house he didn’t live in (or feel welcome in for that matter), made Adrien feel out of place.

“I apologize, I was taking care of some business.” Adrien looked up to see his father entering the room. He sat at the opposite end of the table.

“Oh, uh its alright father,” Adrien stuttered. This was so awkward. He had no idea what to say.

“Um, what did you want to talk to me about?” He finally said.

“I have a proposal.” Adrien stiffened a little. He did not like where this was going at all.

“Okay,” he said cautiously. Gabriel cleared his throat.

“I understand why you want to move out. You were right when you said you were an adult and you are able to make your own decisions.” Adrien was holding his breath. He had no idea where this was going but he was grateful at the very least that there was no yelling. That seemed like it should be a good sign.

“However, you still have a responsibility to your family.”

“What the hell does that even mean,” Adrien thought to himself.

“What exactly are you suggesting father?”

“I want you to publicly support the Gabriel Brand.  You would appear at my events and conduct yourself in a way that upholds our public image. Understand that this means you’d still have to behave in any public setting, not just professional events. I will not hear of my son acting like a rebellious teenager. In return, I will respect the professional decisions and leave you to do as you please, within reason, without complaint. Put simply, respect my career and I’ll respect yours.”

“How do my actions affect your public image?” Adrien asked sourly. He crossed his arms.

“Because you are my son and whether you like it or not, everything you do reflects on me. And in my industry every reflection of me matters, whether it be my work or the actions of my son.”

Adrien sat in silence for a long time, contemplating. On the one hand, his father wasn’t really in a position to make demands. The only thing Gabriel really had to offer Adrien at all was his approval. On the other hand, Gabriel was still his father and as much as Adrien hated it, his fathers’ approval was still very important to him. It occurred to Adrien that if he wanted any kind of positive relationship with his father, this was really the best-case scenario.

As dinner was being served, Adrien began to weigh the pros and cons of “supporting” the Gabriel brand. For instance, since he was no longer modeling, he’d actually be able to enjoy the food at his father’s events, which meant that he might be able to actually enjoy the even itself. He wouldn’t really be working as much as socializing and honestly, Adrien could really use socialization. But Adrien didn’t like the way his father threw in the part about “public image.” He hated saving face for the sake of the media and one of the best parts about quitting the whole modeling thing was that he didn’t have to think constantly about every public decision he made and how the media would portray it. There was a little less pressure in this new scenario but not by much.

Gabriel ate quietly, glancing at Adrien every so often, trying to decipher his thoughts. Adrien had always worn his heart on his sleeve but the conflict in his face made it clear to Gabriel that Adrien was wrestling with his decision. After nearly ten minutes of silence, Gabriel spoke up.

“You don’t have to answer me today.” Adrien glanced up from his meal.

“Okay father.”

“But I’d like an answer soon,” Gabriel said. Adrien winced.

“How soon?”

“I have a very important show next month and I’d like to know whether to reserve you a seat by next week.” Adrien nodded.

“I understand.”

Next Chapter

I fuckin suck at ending chapters I’m sorry, I’m working on it.

Can you see where I’m going with the fashion show? Foreshadowing brings me great joy. Even if its not subtle. 

I’m not sure if you guys picked up on it but I’ve decided to write Adrien as very anxious because I feel like thats what comes with having a dad thats super over protective in the way that Gabriel is. If anyone feels like I’ve written Adrien in such a way where I need to put trigger warnings please let me know. I don’t know if I’m going to go in a direction thats so dark that its necessary, but I also like characters with actual dimension so I guess we’ll see how it goes. 

Anywhoo thanks for reading!

[illumose]

BTS reaction : their s/o wants to break up with them [ hyung line ]

genre : angst / fluff

author’s note : thank you for supporting my works, i’m so grateful! I got carried away with this reaction, so I divided it into two parts. the maknae line will be posted soon!

seokjin •

His idol life prevented Seokjin from spending time with you. It got to the point when you would not see him for weeks, and he would barely text you. It was like you weren’t dating at all. You began to wonder if staying in a relationship with Seokjin was the best decision for you. You felt like you were the only one committed, ready to give time and love.

You did not blame him, it was his job. He made a choice, he had to follow the strict schedule of being an idol, but sometimes you just wished he could be Seokjin, your sweet boyfriend. He missed your birthday, your anniversary and about four dates. It started to be too much for you to handle.

You wanted someone to be here for you, someone to cuddle in front of Friends. It was lonely with him, the apartment was empty and you could not spend your time waiting for your boyfriend to come back from work. Your friends advised you to break up, for your own sake and self-being. They believed that Seokjin perhaps did not love you enough to make room for you in his busy life.

Perhaps you started to believe them. He used to be loving and caring, always here to cherish you. He used to take you on romantic dates, to make love to you. Now, it was a text saying that he would not make it to the date, a quick peck in the morning if you were lucky enough to see him.

"I have something important to tell you, Jin." You said, facing the camera. You were currently on facetime with Seokjin, one way to communicate with him whilst he was on tour. He had an hour of break, and wanted to check on you after three days of radio silence.

"Go on, jagiya," He flashed you a smile, forcing you to avoid looking at the screen in front of you. In a few minutes, he would not be smiling anymore.

You pinched your lips. "Well, I want to break up. It’s frank and honest, but I could not come up with a softer way to end it. You’ve been on tour for the past two months, we barely talk to each other. It’s getting tiresome for me to find new ways to be close to you when you’re clearly drifting away from me. It’s a long distance relationship that does not work anymore."

He frowned, having not expecting this sudden confession. He thought he was doing a great job, that he was balancing his idol life and his love life perfectly. Apparently he was wrong to assume this. "No, no, no. Please, don’t do this. I can make it work, okay? I’ll make more time for you, jagiya. I’ll take days off, I’ll work less. Don’t end our relationship, I love you. Please, give me a chance to be a better boyfriend, please," He begged you, eyes full of hope. He meant what he just said, he really wanted to make it up, to be better at balancing his work like and private life.

"Seokjin..." You sighed, not knowing how to react. Were you supposed to give him another chance, or were you supposed to break up? "One chance, don’t waste it."

The two of you were behind phones, it did not allow you to hug or to kiss to make up, to comfort each other. "I’m taking the first plane to our home, love," He stated, understanding that it was needed. A small smile appeared on your face.

yoongi •

Yoongi knew that his couple was slowly breaking down. You fought a lot about stupid things totally pointless, which nonetheless, still led to heated arguments and yelling matches. In spite of the multiple conflicts, he kept fighting for your love because in his eyes, it was worth everything.

"A break up? You want to end us?" He inquired, raising his voice at your statement. You were giving up, on him and your relationship. "What about the ‘we’ll fight for us till the end’? Did you forget the promise we made to each other?"

You closed your eyes, not wanting to see the pain in his. "It’s hard, Yoongi. We can’t keep fighting every single day about dishes or laundry. I don’t want to cry or to yell anymore, it exhausts me, " You explained, as he finally noticed the dark circles under your eyes. He felt guilty because he caused the argument of yesterday, the one which pushed you over the edge.

"We can work through this, babe. We can fix our relationship," He implored, walking towards you.

"How?"

"I’ve read an article about couples going to therapy. They see a marriage counselor every week, and it helped them overcome their issues. We could do the same. You’re worth every tear, Y/n," He suggested, his hand reaching out for yours.

You took time to consider his idea. Could it work? You knew friends who went to a marriage counselor to get help, it did an amazing job at saving their relationship. Would it do the same for yours? You did not know. However, it was worth the try. You wanted Yoongi to be the father of your children, the man who would be on the other side of the aisle. He seemed truly ready to put efforts into your couple, ready to commit himself. You could not brush it off when all you ever wanted was for him to do everything for you.

You sighed, finally looking at Yoongi. "Okay, we’ll go. I want to believe in us," You muttered as he hugged you. "I guess I should not have considered breaking up without thinking of ways to fix it."

He smiled, relieved. "Well, we had a pretty tiring night. I’m sorry for being a dick, babe."

"And I’m sorry for screaming, I must have looked crazy," You burst into laughter. Yoongi pecked your lips. You felt your heart warm at his affectionate demeanor.

"I love you, whether you’re crazy or not."

namjoon •

Namjoon needed someone like him, an idol pretty and talented. Not someone like you, common and slightly awkward. His fans agreed with you, they wanted to see their idol dating a singer, not a random person met in a bookstore. The hateful comments were too much for you to handle.

"Stop reading the comments, love," Namjoon told you, back-hugging you. He could not do much to stop them, so he advised you to not read them.

"Most of your fans think that I’m not enough, Namjoon. It hurts, but it’s realistic. You could have anybody, yet you chose me. I kind of understand their reactions," You muttered, looking down at your feet. Namjoon raised an eyebrow, not understanding how you could believe this nonsense.

When he first saw you, he thought he was in front of the most beautiful and gorgeous person he ever met in his life. Then, he got to talk to you, and discover how amazingly interesting you were. He loved your personality. You had qualities and quirks, but he loved all of you.

"How can you say this? You’re perfect in every possible way. Don’t let them destroy us, that’s all they want."

"It’s easy for you, Namjoon. Every time I got out, there’s someone who talks behind my back. When we meet your fans in the street or in a shop, they laugh at me. It’s starting to exhaust me, I can’t say anything to defend myself because it would taint your reputation. I don’t like to go out with you anymore because of them. They make me feel insecure and self-conscious, it’s horrible," You admitted, a single tear rolling down your cheek. You finally expressed your feelings and how badly you were dealing with the whole situation.

Namjoon tried to touch your thigh, but you backed away from his touch. You were on the other side of the couch, avoiding him at all cost. "Listen, I know it may be hard for you. No one should go through so much hate and pain, but if you give up on us, you’re giving them exactly what they want. They would have succeeded in tearing us apart. Don’t give them this, babe," His voice was sweet, he picked out his words carefully.

"It will never end, Namjoon. They’ll continue to harass me online, to hate me. I can’t go to work without at least hearing one cruel comment. They are spying on us, waiting for something bad to say about our couple. Can we imagine a future if it’s us against the whole world? It will probably have a bad impact on your idol life... You’ve worked hard, you deserve the best," You tried to convince him that a break up could be a solution, for both of you.

He remained silent. His fans should be supporting his relationship, they should be nice and kind towards you. He always believed that you could deal with the hate. What if breaking up was really what you wanted?

hoseok •

Hoseok wanted children, he loved them with all his heart. He felt ready way before you were, causing fights and arguments more often. He couldn’t seem to understand your position, and pressured you into having children. It pushed you to want a break up.

"Wait, are you serious?" He asked, eyes wide-opened, as realization hit him. ”Because of our last argument?"

"You never understand, Hoseok. You will probably never. I’ve just got the job of my dreams, I’m working hard to do my best. We don’t have the same expectations, and it’s clearly destroying our couple. You want kids while I don’t feel ready. You make me feel bad about it, and I’m tired of this. I shouldn’t feel this way," You explained, taking a sip of your drink. Your decision was made, nothing could change your mind.

"I didn’t," He defended himself in an aggressive voice.

"During the dinner with your parents, you made me feel like a heartless person. You painted me like a selfish person to your parents. It’s not because I don’t want to have kids that I don’t like them, however, you can’t understand this," You went on saying, as he looked desperate.

"But..."

"You’re stubborn, Hoseok. We don’t have the same expectations from each other, we don’t want the same thing. Nonetheless, it���s okay. You deserve to find someone who is ready to have a family, and I deserve to feel okay about my decision. You make me feel guilty."

"I don’t want someone else. I want it with you, Y/n," He protested, standing up to get closer to you.

"You’re telling me this because you’re afraid to lose me. In a few days, you’ll do it again." It was true, it already happened twice. He could never give up on his idea of a family. "It’s for the best, Hoseok."

He knew he could not change your mind. He messed up badly with his pressuring behaviour, and right now, he had no idea how to fix it. He did not know if he could do it.

"I’ll be staying at my friend’s flat. I’ll take what I need in a luggage and I’ll come later for the rest of it," You stated, flashing him a sweet smile. It hurt you to break up with him, you loved him. He has been there for you during your hardships, always comforting and protecting you. But now, you two had to take different paths.

[madamslayyy]

Log Cabin And A Brewing Fire VIII

Pairing: Nebraska Williams (Trevante Rhodes) x Reader

Warnings: This is a SLOW BURN FIC. I’m going at what I believe is a realistic place via my perception. I know y’all want some steam but this is SLOW BURN. Please checkout my Masterlist for other works if you’re looking for a little raunchiness.

A/N: To everyone I trolled yesterday, April Fools! (Except it’s not April) I’m definitely finishing this series, just had to make y’all sweat a little bit 😂😘 If you haven’t caught up on the previous chapters, check them out here via MY MASTERLIST.

Also I usually put this at the bottom of the Chapter but I don’t think people actually read that so I’m putting it here, if you want to be tagged, THIS POST will tell you how. Please don’t come to my inbox asking or leaving it on the chapters because I always forget to check and I feel so guilty leaving people out when they ask or accidentally ignoring them.

Anyway I’ve rambled long enough, love y’all and hope y’all enjoy this.

~*~

“Training Day again, Mr. Williams?” Nebraska’s students whined.

“It’s either that or run laps.” He grinned.

“It’s too cold to run laps. And it’s snowing outside. Aren’t there like... child labor laws or something?” One of his students asked.

“Could always make you guys run laps inside until 12:00. You all prefer that?” Nebraska grinned at the chorus of “No’s” coming from his class.

“Alright, Training Day it is,” Nebraska put on the film and retreated to his office. Today was the last day of school before Thanksgivings break. It was the Tuesday before the holiday and the students were only required to attend a “Half” day before being dismissed at noon.

You actually had the entire week off for the holiday and were planning on going to see your Aunt and Uncle this week. Nebraska has insisted you go on alone and enjoy your time with your family but you had refused.

“I’ll only go if you’re going. No one should be alone during the holidays.”

In these last couple of weeks Nebraska thought he’d been doing a pretty good job distancing himself from you. The two of you no longer slept in the same bed together, he was careful not to get too close to you when the two of you had to be around each other and even then he kept that to a minimal. The two of you rarely ever saw eachother and he was trying to keep it that way.

You, on the other hand, had a different idea. It seemed like the more he retreated, the more you would seek him out. You were determined not to let things get weird between the two of you. Nebraska wasn’t sure if it was out of pity that you were still being so nice to him after his screw up but he knew it only served to further his guilt.

Nebraska used the hour or so he had left to grade papers and before he knew it, the bell rang at noon and his students began filing out the classroom. He walked out his office to stop the movie and put up the equipment. That was one thing he actually did love about teaching the JROTC students, they were typically pretty well behaved. Nebraska was also sure it was because the other coach, Colonel McNeal, even in his old age, had put the fear of god in these kids.

Nebraska was almost through with his stack of papers he’d been grading and decided to finish it out before leaving so that was one less thing to grade during the break.

“Knock Knock,” Tonya peeped her head in through the door before coming in fully and taking a seat.

“Ah I thought you’d be halfway to St. Mary’s by now,” Nebraska chuckled. St. Mary’s was the elementary school her sons attended.

“Well the boys’ father have them today and tomorrow but Mama gets Thanksgiving,” she grinned, showing all thirty two of her nearly perfect teeth.

“Always good to get a little peace and quiet before the holidays,” Nebraska nodded.

“Amen to that. Which actually brings me to my next point. I know you’re new in town and single and I would hate for a nice guy such as yourself to be alone for Thanksgiving. What do you say to coming to my house for Thanksgiving? You could even stop by the night before, help me do a little Pre-dinner Turkey stuffing,” Tonya offered cheekily and Nebraska knew exactly where she was going with this. Again.

“Thanks for the... um... generous offer T, but I won’t be alone for the holidays, I have Y/N,” Nebraska said trying to let her down as gently as possible.

“Y/N? I didn’t know you two were so.... close,” Tonya said, her smile faltering.

“Yeah we’re driving down to see her Uncle. He was... actually still is... my Lieutenant. Anyway we’re just gonna stay with them for the holiday,” Nebraska smiled but the atmosphere was awkward. It was awkward every time he had to reject her but she was persistent to say the least.

“I see. Well I’ll get out of your hair. Gotta get going to the store before all of the good Turkeys are gone,” she laughed dryly before exiting his office.

“Enjoy your break, T,” he called as she made her hasty getaway.

~*~

Nebraska awoke with a start. He glanced over from his position in the passengers seat to see you, your eyes in deep concentration of the road ahead. He yawned and your face relaxed a bit from its focused contortion as you were made aware of his wakefulness.

“Morning sleeping beauty,” you chuckled. Nebraska glanced at the clock in the car and it read 12:34.

“That late huh?” He said sitting up.

“Yeah but the plus side is we’ll be there in half an hour.”

“I was out for that long? Sheesh,” Nebraska scoffed.

“Well you had been at work all day. I was snoozing the whole time.” You said in that melodic voice of yours. How were you this chipper even in the dead of night?

~*~

The two of you continued on the road until finally making it to your Uncle and Aunt’s home. It was well after 1 a.m. so you and Nebraska did your best to sneak in quietly. You were grateful they still kept a spare key in a potted plant just in case someone ever got locked out.

You and Nebraska creeped upstairs and made it to your room, it seemed, without being detected.

“Sheesh, I’m exhausted,” you said stretching out on your bed. Nebraska came in afterwards, carrying your luggage and his because he was still ever the gentleman.

“There’s a-“ Nebraska’s sentence was cut off by your bedroom door swinging open to reveal your Uncle carrying a steel baseball bat, eyes alert.

“Uncle RayRay!!!” You squealed jumping up to hug the man.

“Do you all have any idea what time it is? We weren’t expecting you to get here until Wednesday,” he croaked. He had clearly just woken up.

“It is Wednesday. And we wanted to get ahead of the traffic,” you pointed out.

“Well you nearly gave Mabel a heart attack. Williams, good to see you, boy. Let me show you to your room,” He said indicating for Nebraska to follow him.

“You as well, sir” Nebraska said, following your Uncle, his luggage in hand.

You had never really thought about it but you’d always just assumed Nebraska would stay in the same room as you, just like at home. Then it dawned on you, your Uncle had no idea how bad Nebraska’s sleeping patterns were. You thought maybe you should mention it but there was no way he’d willingly allow you and Nebraska in the same bed without a marriage certificate between you two. He was old fashioned that way.

So you reluctantly just resigned to your bed alone, the exhaustion from driving sending you immediately into slumber before you even had a chance to unpack.

~*~

The next morning you came downstairs to none other than your Aunt’s amazing home cooked breakfast. She was hovering over the stove still making Breakfast while Nebraska and your Uncle were seated at the table, already eating.

“So nobody was gonna wake me up?” You yawned, taking your seat next to Nebraska.

“Figured you’d be out til dinner the way you sleep,” your Aunt said putting down your breakfast in front of you. French toast, sunny side up eggs and her special fried hash browns. Your mouth began to salivate just looking at it.

“Thank you MaeMae,” you said, digging in. Breakfast carried on peacibly but you kept glancing over at Nebraska. He seemed tired, and quiet. Well he was always quiet but a little more than usual. Maybe he was a little uncomfortable here. The last time he saw his General, he had put a bullet through his brain. He never told you the reason why because you two never talked about it but you’d bet Raynard knew. And that’s probably what made it so awkward.

“Alright now Y/N I got a list here for you of things I need done today. I need you to run by the store and pick up some...” Your Aunt Mabel began naming off the various ingredients she still needed for Thanksgiving tomorrow and the other chores she’d assigned you for today. Even though you were an adult, she still believed in putting you to work.

“There. That shouldn’t be too tough,” she said finishing the list of tasks and handing it to you, “Maybe you could take that quiet fella with you, he’s pretty big, he can help you carry some of that stuff.”

“Oh Nebraska probably doesn’t wanna be bothered running errands with me,” you said shrugging off the notion.

“Sure I do,” Nebraska was on the other side of the kitchen leaning against the counter. Both you and your Aunt jumped in surprise, neither of you having heard him even enter the room.

“Good lord boy, anybody ever told you about sneaking up on an old woman! About to give me a heart attack,” Mae said clutching her chest.

~*~

“Why do we need so many flowers, again?” Nebraska asked as he watched the florist load bundle after bundle of fresh cut flowers into your car.

“Mae takes any holiday when family comes over serious. One time she ordered over 20 preplanted trees for Arbor Day. Ended up giving them away as party favors as everyone left.” You said smiling at the memory.

“So it’ll be pretty packed tomorrow, huh?” Tre said watching the florist load the last bundle into the car.

“You have no idea.”

~*~

You couldn’t sleep. You’d tried everything from drinking tea to counting sheep but your body just couldn’t seem to fall into restful bliss without a certain burly figure wrapped around you.

You’d thought about going to see what he was doing, if he was still up but you refrained, not wanting to bother him.

He’d been... weird about things since the camping trip, even tried sleeping in his own bed again but you’d eventually broke him down by acting as if nothing had changed. That was a lie though, everything had changed. Where you merely acknowledged his attractiveness before, you now ached at the sight of him. The mere thought of his lips, so soft and inviting, was enough to send you into a frenzy. When his hand was on your stomach you could practically feel the strength beneath his fingers. You often thought of his strength and stamina. Fantasized about it actually. Fantasized about him getting rough with you, throwing you around before returning to his default sweet nature, making up for it in every possible way.

You were interrupted mid-daydream (or night dream since it was a little past 11p.m.) by a round of small knocks at the door followed by Nebraska peeking his head in.

“You still up?” He asked. You nodded and he came all the way in, closing the door behind him and leaning against it.

“Mind if I join you?” He asked and you felt that familiar shimmer in your stomach as your insides intertwined.

“Of course,” you said a bit breathlessly. He crawled in next you and it was actually a bit... awkward.

“I missed you,” you quipped, interrupting the silence. A goofy grin instantly broke out across Nebraska’s face, which he tried to hide via scratching the back of his head and looking away.

“I, uh, gotta admit I feel the same,” now it was your turn to be bashful.

“Why are we acting like we never see each? Like we didn’t just spend the last two whole days together?” You giggled and Nebraska smirked.

“I guess this is..... different, you know.... more... physical....” he was staring at your lips and you unconsciously bit your lip in response. That seemed to break his trance and he glanced up, a look of guilt marring his perfect features.

“I should probably-,” he said shifting away from you to stand up.

“Nebraska please, don’t...go,” your arm was now wrapped around his chest in an attempt to keep him from leaving. He was so warm, the curls of his chest hair tickling your fingers. His muscles were tense, you could feel them flex beneath you.

“I need you...” you whispered and that’s when the dam broke between the two of you. Nebraska pivoted in your arms, crashing his lips to your own. This wasn’t the same kind of kiss as in the woods. This was something completely different; something hungry and desperate. You could feel him still holding back so you decided to go all in, returning the smooch tenfold, both hands leaving their position at his torso to cup his face.

“Y/N...” he moaned, you felt like you might pass out. His hands latched themselves to your hips, pulling you into his lap. Your hands shifted from his jaw to his shoulders in order to steady yourself, pulling him even closer, meeting his eagerness with your own.

“Take thi- shit,” he moaned as you perched your full weight onto his lap, his already awakened member there to greet you.

“Too much? Am I too heavy?” You asked, beginning to rise from his lap only to have him pull you back down.

“No, you’re perfect babygirl. More than perfect,” he began kissing down your neck, his teeth grazing against the base of your neck hard enough to bruise.

You were melting beneath his touch. He was so quiet and reserved in his daily life so to be succumbed to his passion in such a raw and unfiltered way made your head swim. You never thought a man of his beauty, candor, and strength would look twice at someone like you yet here he was, your touch alone powerful enough to leave him a moaning, whimpering figure of lust beneath you. It gave you a surge of confidence you’d never quite experienced in the bedroom before.

“Take this off,” Nebraska said tugging at your night shirt. That’s when you remembered you weren’t wearing a bra. Meaning you’d be completely exposed to him, pooch, rolls and all.

“Hey, it’s just us here, okay?” He said pecking your lips when he sensed your hesitation.

“O-okay. Can you get the light?” You nodded towards the lamp on you side desk next to your bed.

“As long as I’ve been dreaming about this moment? No way, I gotta see you,” Nebraska said biting his lips, his eyes gazing over you with pure karnal lust. Your stomach fluttered.

You took your shirt off and he was immediately in awe. He gently took one soft mound in his hand, plopping your already hardened nipple into his mouth. Your nails dug into his shoulders as his tongue swirled around the sensitive flesh. Nebraska smirked at your obvious arousal, the vision of his pristine white teeth against your brown areola was almost a work of art.

When he began to go for the other nipple you pushed him back gently, crawling off his lap but he swiftly pulled you back on.

“Where are you going?

“Shhh... just relax,” you said and he finally let you go, allowing you to maneuver yourself between his legs, pulling his boxers down. His swollen member sprang free of the fabric and for a second you thought you might be hallucinating. He was certainly bigger than any man you’d ever been with, and his girth definitely looked more delectable, the pigment from his shaft to his head all one even color that matched the ebony complexion of his skin.

“You were hiding... all this... this whole time?” Your eyes were fixated on his throbbing length.

“Didn’t think you would care either way,” Nebraska said in a breathy voice. You gazed into his brown eyes in utter disbelief before returning to the task at hand.

You kissed your way up his thighs slowly to tease him, dragging your nails lightly along the sensitive area. His dick jumped in excitement.

He was already leaking precum, the head glistening with his essence. You gripped his base and feathered kisses up his shaft, teasing his head with your tongue. The second you took his tip fully into your mouth, he shuddered, gripping the bedsheets for dear life.

“Relax, Braska, let me take care of you,” you said in what you hoped was a ‘sultry’ voice. It had been a while since you’d gave a man head and you were racking your brain, trying to make sure there wasn’t anything you forgot with the inexperience of time.

You slurped him from base to tip, taking your time to get it extremely wet so your hand could pump him easily. You made sure to spit on it just for extra measure and you swore you saw Nebraska’s eyes roll into the back of his head.

You took him into your mouth and immediately hollowed your cheeks, sucking his over sensitive tip while pumping his base. You alternated between this motions and deep throating him as far as you could take him, making quite the show of gagging on his incredible length. You traveled down further, making sure to not to forget his scrotum, sucking one half and then the other while your hands handled the main attraction.

Where Nebraska was tembling before, he was a blubbering mess now, moaning your name along with a string of curse words as he chased his own pleasure. He took one hand and brought it to the back of your head, guiding you back to his swollen tip. You knew he couldn’t keep his orgasm at bay for much longer so you switched into full concentration mode, paying close attention to what would get him over that edge. His hand on the back of your head was gripping you so tight, you thought he might snatch your headscarf off.

“Shit, Y/N, don’t stop. Please, baby, right there, right there,” he begged and you made sure to adhere to him. Right as he was about to explode in your mouth, he grabbed himself and took it out, opting instead to nut on your face. You graciously accepted his release , the warm essence coating your face. You couldn’t help but giggle as he smeared some of it across your lips with his head, tapping the semi-firm member against them.

“Where’d you learn how to do that?” Nebraska asked out of breath. You shrugged as you got up to go wash your face.

You’d were in the middle of wiping off his ‘gift’ when he followed right after you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

“Nebraska, I gotta wash my face and brush my teeth,” you cooed, grabbing a clean face towel and your night routine face wash. Nebraska turned your head to the side, capturing your lips in one of the slowest, sloppiest kisses you’d ever experienced, emphasizing his tongues presence in your mouth as a ‘Thank You’. When Nebraska finally let your lips go he continued clinging to you, only unwrapping himself once so that he could clean off his own member.

Once the two of you were clean, you took to bed. Nebraska, in a position much similar to earlier, engulfed you in himself, peppering you with kisses until he fell asleep. You fell asleep soon after, still not a hundred percent sure if what had just transpired was real or a dream.

~*~

You woke up noticeably cold. And alone. You glanced over to the other side of the bed to find it empty. That wouldn’t be that unusual any other morning but then the events of last night came flooding back to you. You couldn’t believe how brazen you’d been with him last night and the embarrassment immediately came crushing in.

Also why wasn’t he here? There wasn’t a single sign he’d ever been here. Even back home it was unusual for Nebraska to just silently wake up and creep out like a thief in the night. He probably came to his senses about you last night, which is why he’d ran for the hills.

What more could he possibly want anyway? You’ve already sucked him off. He doesn’t need to entertain you anymore. He got what he came for.

You tried to shake the negative thoughts from your head as you hopped in the shower but they were incessant.

What if he was in a relationship with Tonya. You were so desperate for him last night, you hadn’t even thought to ask. What if you made him a cheater because you couldn’t control yourself around him and just had to jump at the chance to show him you could be a slut. What would he want with one of those anyway when he has a woman like Tonya waiting for him back home.

As you walked down stairs you saw Nebraska moving tables with your Aunt supervising. You couldn’t bare to make eye contact with either of them. It didn’t matter because Mabel heard you anyway

“Y/N! About time you woke up girl, I need you to run down to Annie Sinclair’s- you remember Miss Sinclair don’t you? I need you to runs down to her place and pick up the four Pecan Pies she was supposed to have delivered yesterday,” Mabel said scribbling down the address. You nodded and grabbed your keys, leaving without a word. You didn’t notice Nebraska’s intense eyes longingly look after you as you left.

~*~

By the time you returned back home with your Aunt’s pies, there were cars filling up the driveway and parked on the street out front.

You carried them in but the kitchen was full of different dishes, along with her cooking and you had no where to put them. You sat them down on the dining table and hoped that would suffice for now.

You wandered around looking for her, speaking to various extended family members. Almost everyone here was from her side of the family but they didn’t treat you any different.

“So how’s that museum going baby? What is it you do there again?” You great Aunt Lettie asked.

“Well actually I-“

“Y/N! Girl I been looking for you everywhere! Come on in here and help ya Auntie in the kitchen,” Mabel said thundering down the stairs. You said your condolences to Lettie then followed your Aunt into the kitchen.

You looked around as she began stirring something in a pot, “So what exactly was it that you needed help with?”

“Oh child, nothing. I just know how Lettie gets and she’ll talk your head off all day if you let her,” she chuckled, throwing on her Apron. You sighed in relief, sinking down in a chair for the first time in what felt like hours.

“Tired?” Mabel quipped.

“You have no idea,” you rubbed the side of your temples trying to alleviate a potential headache in its tracks.

“Maybe you wouldn’t be if you actually slept at night,” you felt your heart drop as your eyes flew open.

“Save it. I went to fetch that boy this morning so he could move some furniture around for me. Imagine my surprise to see not only his room empty but that he’d some how stumbled into yours. Better be glad it was me who drug him out of there and not your uncle.” She turned her attention away from stirring the pot to... well... stir the pot.

“There’s nothing going on between us... we just sleep next to each other. But we’re not... like that,” you averted your eyes. Wait, did she say she drug him out of your room this morning?

“Sell that tale to some other simpleton, I’ve seen the way you been eyeing that man. And more importantly, how he looks at you. That’s love, honey, clear as day,” Was it that obvious that your heart ached for him every time you were in a five feet radius of the man?

“I... I.... I didn’t mean for this to happen...”

“For what to happen? To fall for him harder than a piano with a paper parachute?” She didn’t need an answer, your face said it all. “Look, I don’t know exactly what you two got going on rattling around in those big, pretty heads of yours but what I do know is if there were ever two people who needed a little love, deserved a little love in their life, I’m looking at them.”

You felt like you could cry. You’d been so in denial about everything you felt for this man for so long that now faced with your own feelings, they almost threatened to overpower you.

“I- if he doesn’t feel the same, if this is one sided- I- I’ve never really felt this way about anyone before. If he rejects me, it’ll tear me apart. I can’t risk the heartache,”

“Child the world is full of heartache the same way it’s full of rejection. That’s just the nature of life. But one things for sure, nothing will ever come of the two of you skirting around each other like a pair of mice. You need to clear things up even if it doesn’t go according to your plan, which knowing you, you probably don’t even have one. Go talk to the man.” And that was that on her lecture. She turned around and resumed stirring whatever she was cooking on the stoveto, only glancing over her shoulder when she noticed you hadn’t moved.

“I meant now.”

~*~

“And that’s when I told him, ‘look, I don’t care if the god damn Marshal himself rides up on a golden chariot and declares the sanction with feathers flying straight out his ass, I’m not moving my platoon for nobody!’” The table Nebraska was currently sitting at burst into laughter and he cracked a smile to be polite but he didn’t have the slightest clue what the conversation was about. Didn’t really care to be honest. His mind was on one thing and one thing only, that thing of course being you.

It all still felt like a dream to him, he’d almost believe it was if he hadn’t woke up in your bed. Correction, somebody woke him up and it wasn’t you. One look at your Aunt’s face and he knew the jig was up.

“Come help me move some tables, big fella,” she said closing your door behind her. He pulled on his sweatpants which had still been discarded on the floor and followed behind her. He stopped quickly in his own room to grab a shirt. Thank god you’d had the mind to cover up after last night’s escapade. That would only make the situation look worse.

Nebraska was sure he was in for a lecture but the older woman continued on as if she’d seen nothing out of the ordinary, giving out various orders to get ready for the day. Preparation that was much needed by the way. In only a matter of hours the house was filled to the brim with more people than Nebraska could have possibly anticipated. But that was hardly a problem because that gave him ample opportunity to avoid you.

He didn’t know what was going through his mind last night but he had embarrassed himself beyond belief. Looking back, he wished he’d done so many things differently. He wished he had been man enough not to ejaculate so early. He wished he had took care of your pleasure first before obtaining his own. He wished he had thrown all the foreplay out the window and been inside you. When you came downstairs this morning and wouldn’t even look at him, he knew you regretted it. Of course you’d expected more out of him. He had expected more out of himself, but he promised himself if he ever got the opportunity for such intimacies with you again, he’d ravish you the way you deserved.

And oh did you deserve it and then some. The way your mouth had worked Nebraska last night, he could have died a happy man right then, right there. You sucked him off in a way he’d never been before, leaving him completely putty on your well-versed hands. You obviously must have had quite the experience in this area because you knew exactly what to do at every turn, getting him to his release faster than he could himself. Just the thought alone made him crave you, want to seek you out. It had been easier for him to deny his sexual urges for you when he had no point of reference but last night had only served to intensify his need to bed you. A need he’d probably never satisfy after his embrassing performance last night.

Nebraska realized he was completely lost to the conversation with the oldhead army men around him, friends of the Lieutenant no doubt, so he respectfully excused himself then went to head upstairs. He needed a moment to himself to collect his thoughts and stop obsessing over you. But it looked as if luck wasn’t on his side today.

As he began his ascension up the stairs you were coming down and suddenly, your eyes locked. You looked just as beautiful as ever, your mauve skirt and Jean button down accentuating your tempting chubby figure. His mind immediately went to the feel of your curves molding against his own physique, the memory of your delicious weight on his lap igniting a fire in him. He really needed to calm down.

“Hey...” you said in a voice he almost couldn’t hear.

“Hey,”

“Can, um, can we talk?” You asked tugging at the bottom of your skirt.

“Course,” Shit, Nebraska knew where this was going.

“Okay, um..... in here,” she tugged his arm and pulled him into the nearest bathroom, locking the door behind her.

“We need to talk about last night,” Nebraska’s blood went cold.

“I’m listening...”

“I didn’t mean to- That wasn’t my intention to- if you- I wasn’t trying to-“

“Save it, Y/N. Just forget it ever happened.” Nebraska couldn’t listen to this. He couldn’t hear how much you regret being with him. What easily was a night of utter perfection for him was nothing more than an impulsive mistake for you and that realization hurt too much to hear verbalized.

“Nebraska please just... let me talk. Even if you don’t care about what I have to say, at least let me say it. Please...,” your voice cracked and he could hear the tears you were fighting back in your voice. He thought about storming out to save himself from having to watch this breakdown but he knew him leaving would only cause you to burst into tears and he just couldn’t do that to you. So Nebraska resigned to leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest, indicating to you that you had his full attention.

“Ok look. I- I don’t know the full nature of you and Tonya’s relationship but I’m not an idiot. I knew something was going on with you two but I still went after you anyway and I just want to apologize profusely for impeding on your relationship with her,” you took a breath, “but I feel I owe it to you, and to myself, to be honest about my... feelings the last few months. I- I’m not the most experienced with men. I often read into things way too much. I’m anxious to a fault. But either way, I somehow deluded myself into seeing your kindness and gentleman-like ways for something they weren’t. I- I began developing feeling for you when I shouldn’t have. And for that I apologize.... again.” You took another breath, swallowing this time.

“You’re a great guy. One of the best men I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Last night... I don’t know what came over me. I’m usually not so aggressive, especially sexually, and I’m sorry for coming at you like some sort of deranged animal in heat. It wasn’t right and I promise you it’ll never happen again. I know all hope for the two of us being as close as we were is out the window. And I don’t blame you for that, by the way. It’s my fault and I take full responsibility. I just hope, that maybe, in time you’ll be able to forgive me and I can move on from feeling like this. I promise you I’ll get over it, I just need a little time but until then I was hoping we could at least remain friends. I know that’s a lot to ask but I don’t really think I could handle if things continued like this with you ignoring me completely. I know I’m probably being overly sensitive right now but it just... hurts....” you trailed off. Nebraska hadn’t said a word, his body frozen in that spot while his mind raced to process everything you’d just told him.

“Are you finished?” His voice was low, rugged.

“.... yeah, I guess I am,” he could hear the disappointment.

Nebraska walked up to you, cupping your jaw with hand as he captured your lips in his own. You eyes bulged out of your head in shock and for a second he though you were going to push him away.

“N-n-Nebraska I-“

“Shhhh. You got your chance to speak, now it’s my turn,” he returned to your lips, deepening the kiss. You moaned into his mouth as he lifted you onto the bathroom counter. His hands traveled under your skirt, gripping your thighs, undoubtedly his new favorite part of you. You let out a squeak of surprise when he suddenly pulled you flush against him.

“I’ve been agonizing over you since I met you. You think any man could be in proximity to all of this-“ he smacked your ass “and not want to break you in half? If you’re delusional then I’m in this fantasy right with you because I’ve been enamored with you for months. But you just seemed so disinterested I.... I couldn’t... I didn’t know...”

“Hey, it’s alright.” You cooed, cupping his face. He rest his forehead against your own, grateful for the intimacy.

“I just need you to know this isn’t one sided. You have nothing to apologize to me for, not now, not ever.” Nebraska wished he could say more. Wished he could articulate more coherently exactly how deep his feelings went for you. Wished he could express how you made him feel like he wasn’t such a monster, like he was worthy of his own personhood, even if he doubted it himself most times.

Nebraska opened his eyes to see you staring at his lips, the wanton look in your eyes making his cock throb. Yes he wanted to proclaim his undying love and affection for you but he also wanted to fuck you so good your pussy would need crutches the next day.

“C’mere,” he growled lowly and you almost bounced off the counter wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him. He could appreciate his position of standing between your thighs however he knew realistically he couldn’t fuck you right here in the bathroom. Not with the house damn near filled to capacity. No, he’d have to show a little more restraint for your sake and his own.

“And, Y/N, about last night...,” Nebraska said breaking the kiss. You hummed in reply as you began trailing kisses down his neck.

“How did you expect to give head like that and not have a man fall in love with you?”

~*~

A/N: What y’all think? Told y’all I was gonna give y’all some action if you stuck with me 😘😘 I hope y’all liked this chapter because I actually worked harder on this one than any other chapter so far. As always please let me know what y’all think, it really helps me get ideas for the next chapter. 💕💕🥰

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