#like pls they’re so gay your honor

[jayvolans]

I am. obsessed with bungou stray dogs send help pleek

[shotguncollarsurvivor]

YESSSSS LISTEN TO GIRL IN RED SHES SO GOOD 🔥🔥🔥 listen to ‘bad idea’ and also also ‘i’ll call you mine’. pls. you and amanda are like my fav lesbians

Her songs are REALLY gay, but they’re okay, I’ll take your recommendations☺️.

Thank you, it’s an honor, even if I’m not even a lesbian👍👎 but I’m sure Amanda will appreciate it!

[childishfirmino]

What are your favorite footy ships?

*smirks* I have been waiting for this day anon…

this isn’t in any particular order or ranking but here you go!

movren

I miss these two so much. They’re relationship is so chaotic but wholesome and I need them in a very unhealthy way u don’t understand

just LOOK AT THEM

they’re husbands your honor

mullendowski

I don’t talk about these two a lot but trust me, I LOVE THEM. They’re my divorced parents and all I want is for them to get back together. That’s all I am asking Santa for this Christmas. Please and thank you.

virgsson

now these two I DO talk a lot abt. If either of them ever left liverpool you would never see me again I would be crying in my room not interacting with anyone for three months straight they’re so so so cute and I am very lucky that these two have a decent amount of fics on ao3 that I can feast on at 2 AM in my room

kostiago

we’re still working on the ship name guys-

but these two need way more love!! Seeing them together is so so wholesome and I love seeing kostas literally p o u n c i n g on thiago during all the lfc videos it’s so funny and cute asksjhdhsjsjdjsskskkss (just don’t injure him pls)

jurgendiola

lmao I remember first being introduced to this and I literally hated it with all my heart I thought it was the worst thing ever lol

but I am a changed person. I literally cry because I have sucked all their fics on ao3 DRY and I am desperately waiting for a new one to come out. I NEED MORE OLD MEN YAOI 😭😭😭

these are probably the only ones that I REALLY love rn. I mean I like others such as neymessi and modramos but not enough to be on this list aksjhshshs 😭😭 (I’m sorry if u like either of those)

thanks for listening to me rant about gay ball kickers!!

[loomimoosh]

And that would go

Mousewhisker’s Home (theme of not belonging, show him and Minnowtail having their romance behind the scenes) SE preferably

Toadstep’s Path (theme of “life is what you make it”) could be just a novella but I’d like an SE

Ashfoot’s Exile (theme of sticking together through the worst) SE 100%, show everything from the ShadowClan battles to Gorsepaw’s death also tell me who killed Badgerfang and how they dealt with it

Sootfur’s Fear (theme of overcoming mental pitfalls and not letting trauma define you) novella would be fine tbh

Littlecloud’s Truth (theme of being who you are regardless of those around you) novella’s fine

Kestrelflight. I fucked his name up I’m sorry. Make the book Kestrelflight’s Name in honor of my fuckuperry

Birchfall’s Dream (theme of trying too hard, I imagine it’s about him running himself into the ground and forgetting who he is and what everyone loves him for and focusing too much on what he can “provide” to the clan, seeing his worth as utility alone) novella’s ok

Cherryfall’s Love (theme of…idk actually just make it a romance book) I want a slow burn SE

Icecloud’s Brother / Foxleap’s Sister (theme of caring for those close to you even when you disagree. And let them disown Spiderleg as a “family is who you love, not the other way around” kinda thing) I want an SE but I know it won’t be good so just make it a novella

Berrynose’s Forgiveness (show him forgiving Mousewhisker and learning to be a good dad and husband) just a novella pls

Hazeltail’s Journey (theme of being the driving force of your own story, not just surviving but living) SE, but only if she goes somewhere new and it’s not a fucking travel book. And make her gay.

The Pouncestep book would kind of give her a purpose so whatever it is make it cool. And make her gay also. Pouncestep’s Pride.

Longtail’s Worth (theme of “you are not just what you can give to others”) novella works but split it in 2, half from tPB and half from Po3/OotS

Frecklewish’s Regret (theme of grief, follows the DABDA model. Show her denial of Birchface’s death, anger at Mapleshade, bargaining for the kits lives and her own, depression and believing herself to be a villain, acceptance as she fades away) novella would be chill, show her basically putting herself in the Dark Forest using the rationale of the online arguments, saying “I’m the problem, I should have done more, I’m the reason they’re dead, I deserve punishment”

Juniperclaw’s Duty (hehe. Theme of death and reflecting on life, each chapter is him assessing a death, talking with the cat, asking them where they think they belong, talking over their life, and watching them walk off) novella is fine

Snowtuft’s Sin (theme of what the fuck did this guy do) novella works just TELL ME

Stonefur’s Payment (or something like that, idea is it’s the flip side to Redtail’s Debt) novella works

Darkstripe’s Lie (theme of spiraling into the worst version of yourself, cutting yourself off and letting empathy fall off in favor of success) I’ll let you get away with a novella, but I’ll allow an SE if and ONLY if you make him Ash and Fern’s real dad

Super Editions and novellas should be used for background cats.

And I don’t mean like Daisy and Spotfur. I mean like Sootfur and Cherryfall.

Give interesting stories to the cats without any. Fill out the universe. I find it hard to believe that death was the most important thing to ever happen to Rainwhisker. Or that Hazeltail never had any of her own adventures. Or that outside cats like Ivytail lived wholly uninteresting and boring lives with nothing to talk about.

Basically what I’m saying is I want a Mousewhisker novella

[racingairplanes--archive]

✿ criminal minds doodles -> spencer reid and emily prentiss + staring at derek morgan and ashley seaver ✿ - ☽ credit/tag me if you use or save ☾ ☽ click for better quality ☾ - ⚓︎ taglist -> @notsosmexy @jemilyology @temily @luke-alvez @scandinavian-punk @thejeidhater @suburban--gothic @moreidism @agentshortstacc @greenaway-lewis @moreidsdaughter @spencers-renaissance @alexandrablake @jelle-jareau @yourfinalbow @pretty-b0yy

[secretsolarsystem]

I would love to see an actor+Obikin au from you. I loved the interviews ewan and Hayden agve us an I would love to see Anakin and Obi-Wan in the modern world or any other world being actors. Do you think they would like each other?

bestie thank you sm for your patience...obviously got this a hot minute ago BUT!!! I am happy to say I have a short little something for you <3

this is inspired both by my refusal to let my time doing oral history go to waste and the fact that Ewan and Hayden are Aries men (it's actually only briefly mentioned but I think it's something we as a community need to acknowledge)

so pls enjoy this 1.5k modern au, actors au, my oral history skills have struck again! >:D mwahahahaha, welcome to my headcannon that Obi-Wan would absolutely be an Elton John stan, "we're both gay and british" !!! :D

–

This week, the Coruscant Sun was lucky enough to snag interviews with the main cast of the new film coming later this year, Luminous Beings. Ever since the trailer dropped last week, giving audiences riveting teasers of action, romance, and a story sure to keep viewers on the edge of their seats, no one can stop talking about how much they can’t wait to see this star-studded movie.

Although, star-studded may not be the only thing this cast is – could they perhaps also be star-crossed? As the Sun sat down with leading lady Padmé Amidala and breakout actor Ahsoka Tano, we couldn’t help but ask what everyone else has been chomping at the bit to know: what is the deal with Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi?

Ever since the press tour began, fans couldn’t help but speculate that the relationship between Skywalker and Kenobi may be more than professional. With lingering glances, smitten smiles, and familiar touches, it seems these two may have stepped out of their characters as friends and work partners and have become more-than-friends and perhaps even partners, sans ‘work.’

Here’s what Amidala had to say on the matter in her exclusive interview with the Sun last week:

CS: Can you tell us about the dynamics of the cast? You’re working with a familiar face, aren’t you?

PA: Yes! It’s so nice to work with Anakin again. You can tell he’s grown so much since that short film last year. I mean, if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t be the lead of a full-length feature, right? He’s brought a new depth of emotion to his acting, but he’s still his charming, goofy self when we’re not rolling. Always playing pranks on everyone, doing silly stunts and getting himself hurt…It’s never a dull moment with Anakin, to be sure.

CS: We’re just as happy to see you two reunite! Have you made any new friends on set?

PA: I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I do think I’ve become really great friends with Obi-Wan Kenobi. Of course I’ve seen his work and seen him at events and such, before but to work with him has been such an honor. He brings so much to this film aside from his name: his grace, his knowledge, his understanding of the inner workings of movies and their characters. I think he’s really elevated everyone’s work without stifling anyone’s interpretation. And outside of work, he’s just amazing. So many stories, and – don’t tell anyone I told you this – he’s really good at karaoke.

CS: Oh, you have to tell us more.

PA: All I’ll say is he’s a big Elton John fan.

CS: So when are we getting an Obi-Wan Kenobi and Elton John collab?!

PA: [laughs]

CS: While we’re on the subject of these co-stars of yours, we’ve got to ask: do you know anything about what’s going on between Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi?

PA: Oh you have to ask, do you?

CS: [laughs] The readers will have our heads if we don’t!

PA: [laughs] Oh, I believe you. I’m afraid it isn’t my place to speculate on what they do outside of work, but there is a sort of magic between them when we’re on set. It’s like they’re each a half of the same mind. When one suggests a line change, the other has a new line in response in seconds. When one tries changing up the blocking, the other meets them move for move. And Anakin, you know, is a bit newer to the acting scene, and you can see him just absorbing every word of advice and praise Obi-Wan has for him. Obi-Wan, too, is eager to not only encourage Anakin throughout filming, but learn a thing or two himself. You can tell they genuinely respect each other and like working together, which has made the overall process of working all together really wonderful.

CS: So they’re all smiles when they’re together? That’s very cute, wouldn’t you say?

PA: Sometimes it’s cute, sometimes it’s nauseating.

CS: [laughs]

Later that week, we managed to sit down with Ahsoka Tano to discuss her first ever movie role. Of course, though, we had to ask the young star what she thought about the rumors surrounding Skywalker and Kenobi.

CS: You’re working with some pretty big actors for your first ever movie. That must be exciting!

AT: It is, and everyone’s been so welcoming and helpful. Anakin’s become a sort of older brother, always looking out for me but ‘making sure I stay humble’ – which is his nice way of saying he can pick on me, but no one else can.

CS: [laughs]

AT: And Padmé’s been so nice. She’s someone I can really confide in and go to for advice about a lot of things, acting-related or not. And Obi-Wan – he’s the best, but also intimidating.

CS: Intimidating?

AT: I mean, not in the way most people think, I guess. He does come to work on a motorcycle in a leather jacket and all that, but the second he’s not on his bike he’s in big sweaters and he wears these ridiculous glasses when reading over the script. But I guess because of his experience and the faith he puts in us as colleagues, you just really don’t want to let him down.

CS: Wow, that’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself, especially as someone who’s starting out.

AT: Yeah, but like you said, I’m putting it on myself.

CS: Do you think any of your co-stars feel similarly?

AT: I think Padmé’s always been sure of herself and her skills, which I really admire. Anakin is the cockiest guy you’ll ever meet, but I can see him looking for Obi-Wan’s approval a lot.

CS: Speaking of which, what do you think of the two of them? Of their dynamic?

AT: Well, first thing’s first: both of them are Aries men. So it’s utter chaos with either of them around, and it’s just impossible when they’re together.

CS: Oh? What makes them so ‘impossible’ together?

AT: When they’re getting along, it’s disgusting. All their smiles and the whispers in each other’s ears to make the other laugh, the way Anakin will rest his chin on Obi-Wan’s shoulder to read over the script in Obi-Wan’s hands even though Anakin has his own copy, the way they have to sit on the same end of the couch, even if no one else is sitting on it.

CS: That sounds pretty adorable.

AT: I think it’s gross, but I haven’t even gotten to when they aren’t getting along. They’re equally stubborn, even if Anakin goes hot where Obi-Wan goes cold. When they disagree about something, you do not want to be in the same room as them. Anakin yells, sometimes he throws things. Obi-Wan gets this really severe look and tone, and can say some nasty things. It’s hard to watch, honestly- Oh shit, this is all on the record, isn’t it?

CS: It is, is that alright?

AT: Eh, I guess their lovers’ spats can be known beyond the set.

CS: ‘Lovers,’ you say?

AT: [rolling her eyes] Nice try. Ask them about that, ask me about my job.

Ouch, but fair enough. We’ve done our best to get these possible love birds to sit down and talk, and readers, we have succeeded! Be on the lookout for an exclusive Obi-Wan and Anakin – or ‘obikin’ as some devout believers have dubbed them – next week!

–

“Jesus, Snips,” Anakin groaned, resting his elbows on his knees and dropping his head into his hands. From where he sat next to him on the same end of the couch, Obi-Wan ran a soothing hand along his back.

“It’s really not so bad,” he tried, earning a muffled scoff from Anakin. “Really, what’s so bad?”

Bringing his head up, Anakin shot Obi-Wan a look of incredulity. “The way we’re always together? Our lovers’ spats? The way this paper claims we’re a couple and their interviews did nothing to dispute that?”

Laughing, Obi-Wan brought his hand up to caress Anakin’s cheek. “We’re not so subtle though, darling. We have to take some responsibility.”

Anakin pouted. “Never.” Rolling his eyes, Obi-Wan moved his hand to tug at Anakin’s shoulder until he was tucked under Obi-Wan’s arm, their temples pressed together. “I just…I like our little bubble, Obi-Wan. I don’t want it to burst yet. I don’t want this to not be just ours anymore.”

Running a soothing hand along Anakin’s arm, Obi-Wan turned to press a kiss to his hair before smiling. “Then we’ll just have to have some fun in our interview, won’t we?”

Pulling away, Anakin looked to Obi-Wan with wide eyes. “We don’t have to pretend to hate each other, do we? I’m a good actor, Obi-Wan, but I don’t know if I could pull that off. Well- No, I definitely could, I just don’t want to.”

“No, we don’t have to pretend to hate each other,” Obi-Wan assured. “We can just…Be our normal selves.”

“But that’s what got us in this mess,” Anakin frowned.

“We’ll be our normal selves,” Obi-Wan repeated, “but if they ask us anything, we don’t give a straight answer.”

Anakin’s frown deepened. “But if we’re our normal selves, they’ll think we’re dating.”

“But they won’t get confirmation that we are. Keep them guessing.”

A small smile started to form on Anakin’s face. “Why would we do that, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan shrugged, smiling still. “It could be funny. Plus, it’ll be great press for the film.”

Now smiling fully, Anakin moved to straddle Obi-Wan, resting his hands on Obi-Wan’s shoulders while Obi-Wan’s rested on his waist. “Oh, Obi-Wan, I’m so lucky to have a friend and coworker as smart as you.”

Laughing loudly, Obi-Wan voiced his agreement before surging up to kiss Anakin’s smiling lips.

prompt collection on ao3

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[therealtsk]

tsk i’m DYING to hear your play-by-play on which worm characters have dumb fanon interpretations

UH OH YOU JUST OPENED THE FLOODGATES so the short answer is pretty much every major character but I am a high-effort bitch so let's do this: Taylor Hebert: jfc, I could probably hit a word count limit talking about Taylor alone. First you have the dumb as shit TINO (Taylor In Name Only) phenomenon where people just straight up SI as Taylor but pretend it's her and she's basically a different person wearing Taylor's skin like an ill-fitting suit. Then there's the Memetic Escalator Taylor interpretation where Taylor's Warlord era characterization is flanderized so hard that she turns into her world's version of Doomguy where her response to literally everything is ultra violence, mutilation and torture and she can totally beat up anyone you guys hahah coin sock goes brrrrr you go brutalize those totally deserving victims queen. And then there's shy, stuttering, soft spoken "useless lesbian" Taylor which is not as common but still, fuckin straight men and the way they infantize gay women. Taylor is perhaps the most consistently inconsistent characterization I've seen in fandom, it's fucking wild Lisa Wilbourn: Has two fanon settings. Taylor's best friend who exists solely to give exposition and get the "Stop Coil" subplot rolling (occasional gay subtext will be added in a way that feels fetishy) Or, the evil bitchy blonde who is first target of the SI. I constantly wonder if the people who write the frankly masturbatory SI's are aware that we can tell they're still bitter about girls not dating them in highschool. Brian: basically does not exist in fic aside from the occasional joke cause racism and also because of how popular wlw ships are in Worm fandom. you deserve better dude Alec: has a few token appearances in wormfic fandom that usually have him as the comic relief alongside Aisha, which might actually be for the best considering he's a rapist and the Worm fandom's uhhhh tendencies. Moving on- Aisha: prankster girl that alt!Taylor will adopt as a younger sibling. hopefully is not part of the totally-not-a-harem considering she's even younger then the rest of these teens Bitch: Another girl to fall into alt!Taylor's definitely-not-a-harem, but with more butch tendencies. Basically has no personality in fanon outside of her dogs Parian: SHE DOESN'T HAVE A SHOP FFS also another member of Taylor's totally-not-a-harem Flechette: yeah it's a harem Sophia: holy shit you think Brian's bad? The racism in pretty much every fanon depiction of Sophia is off the charts. Hyper-violent, super edgy, "predator/prey" speech inbound, will get humilated/killed in some new, supposedly satisfying but actually just deeply uncomfortable way, probably throw in some E88 shit too just because Emma: again, do the writers know we can tell they're still malding over the fact that the pretty girls in highschool didn't date them? fanon emma is pretty much a cardboard cut out of whoever was mean to the author. something something bitches three Madison: in fanon has a C53 fetish, occasionally is also Browbeat. don't ask why Victoria: gets hit with the blonde stereotypes even harder then Lisa, "Collateral Damage Barbie" is one of the phrases that activates my flight or fight responses. she basically is an entirely different character in fanon. bubbly dumb blonde girl with a massive temper and well other sexist bullshiit Amy: I hate even touching this character with a ten foot pole but basically is hit with the "soft useless lesbian" trope hard enough to make her into a completely separate person from her canon self. whether or not this is a good thing is still up for debate Carol: in fanon, an evil bitch who exists solely to bully Amy Mark: who? The rest of New Wave: cannon fodder for Leviathan Danny Hebert: literally stale milk instead of a personality, will probably die before the fic is over but we won't care because the author did not care either Armsmaster: hahaha robotman go brrrr or is an arrogant self-aggrandizing shit, can't interact with people without Dragon helping him 24/7 Miss Militia: fanon bat'd into team mom,

idk where this came from considering her first instinct upon seeing children is to pull out a gun holy shit wait is she actually Taylor's true mom- Velocity: canon fodder for levi Battery & Assault: sitcom wife, sitcom husband! please ignore how fucked up this relationship is if you look at it for more than two seconds Dauntless: haha armsy is JEALOUS also cannon fodder for levi Triumph: who? The BB wards in general tend to be incredibly bland, the only ones who have fanon personalities of note are Clockblocker and Vista. The former being such a huge prankster that every other line is a joke- or him complaining about how BULLSHIT Alt!Taylor's powers are. Vista is an angry kiddo who says that Shadow Stalker doesn't count as being a girl on the team The E88: no personality for any of them except that Kaiser is noble and really isn't that bad and also Purity did nothing wrong totally she's just a hot mom trying to do her best, please ignore how she exclusively targets characters of color and literally calls white criminals more civilized than miniorities- the worm fandom has something of a nazi problem i hate it here The ABB: racism and honorable samurai lung even though that has no canon basis so again, racist stereotypes The Slaughterhouse 9: This one makes me just as sad as the Lisa shit because dear god this is such a good cast of villains that fanon completely flattens to bowling pins for the Alt!Taylor of the week to mow down, why does this fandom suck so much. Anyway Jack is just the Joker, Crawler is masochistic, etc i'm moving on now The PRT/Protectorate as a whole: They are an evil paramilitary organization that pressgangs kids into signing up to become child soldiers, and somehow at the same time, they are a bunch of idiots who listen to the PR department and have stupid things like RULES that prevent capes from COMMITTING VIOLENCE. Being called "the biggest gang of all" is common and some shit like "at least the criminals are honest" is a likely statement. Cauldron: whoo boy this one really boils my blood but fanon Cauldron are just a bunch of evil idiots who can't even tie their shoelaces. basically a bunch of dudebros are upset that women run the world and that two of them essentially have "I win" powers so they have to make them lose to their SI- er, Taylor in fics so they can assuage their masculinity, which totally isn't pathetic Scion: Is at once the end all be all of worm you can't write a wormfic without scion or else it's TOTALLY MEANINGLESS because what is the point of a story if all the characters are going to DIE in a few years anyway, and at the same time is incredibly easy to defeat- this ties into how Cauldron is stupid. Scion Truthers pls shut up and go read something else okay I think that's everyone I would apologize but the only thing I'm sorry for is how messy this is

[wistfulrat]

this week’s fics! feat. bakeries, bookshops, bisexual awakenings of the angsty and fluffy sort, wolfstar goddads being tender as hell, desi harry reconnecting with his culture, domestic drarry, a lap dance set to akon’s smack that, and more!

But That’s History by @ebbet - 54k - T Harry Potter starts his first year as Muggle Studies Professor only to find that Draco Malfoy has been hired to teach History of Magic.

listen to me. this is one of the funniest drarry fics i've ever read. i was cackling in my bed at 2am because harry’s internal monologues throughout this fic are unhinged. insanely quotable. “what was he, a lothario” and “you were crushing me with your muscular thighs!” are lines that live rent free in my empty head. harry has never played anything cool a day in his life. there’s a faculty meeting where the teachers are planning the yule ball and debating the merits of a DJ when harry decides he must defend his muggle-music-loving honor by dancing seductively to akon’s smack that while a blushing draco loses his mind. i fucking screamed. and the best part is that in between the comedic scenes threading the overall story, you have extremely tender moments of like, padma patil helping harry become a more rooted desi by sharing their cultural traditions, harry proudly donning his sherwani. draco wrestling with his past, going to harry’s lgbtq+ club for students, being sheepish with ron and hermione. ugh, comedic writers with emotional depth are clever and talented as hell!!

Realities, Unfurling by @ebbet - 45k - M Draco Malfoy is released from Azkaban into a changed world.

incredible collage-fic told from multiple povs. 8yrs post-war and everything’s changed. the current state of the magical world unfolds via slice-of-life snapshots from a truly stunning cast. non-binary harry whom is running a non-prof org dedicated to building tolerance and establishing equality for marginalized identities. post-prison-release draco whose life will be changed by the internet. neville’s tender relationship with blaise. andromeda’s fiercely protective mothering. remus and sirius being alive and very hot and just, the tender goddads harry deserved. cho chang being brilliant. baker pansy’s softened edges. found families abound. harry being flustered by their crush on draco and making personalized playlists on an iPod nano.

that all might sound narratively cluttered but the author more than pulls this off. glorious, start to finish.

Knead by @jovialobservationanchor (an @hd-erised​ fic) - 83k - E This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place. This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy's lean arms.

cinematic. a love letter to oregon’s expansive landscapes and lively cities. it’s harry finding home in unexpected places and people. in the vast silence of rolling fields, endless coasts, and starry night skies big enough to feel like you’re adrift in space. and it’s also the lingering, intimate quiet of early mornings in a bakery, sitting on a park bench overlooking the city as you eat ice cream next to your crush. it’s harry watching ginny and luna dance and work around each other like bees. it’s the slow unfolding of harry and draco’s relationship as they fill each other’s quiet. finishing this fic is like waking from a good dream. transporting, immersive, lovely. 

Harry Potter and the Bisexual Awakening by @writcraft - 20k - E Harry is perfectly content being single, heterosexual and living in Godric's Hollow with his very clingy rescue dog, Snitch. When Draco Malfoy turns up on Harry's doorstep demanding that Harry teach him how to drive, things quickly become a lot more complicated.

first of all, i feel very seen by draco being a gay-who-can’t-drive. it’s called representation. but mostly i love the ease of harry and draco’s banter, a flustered harry discovering his sexuality, and the way this fic addresses biphobia. also very emo over this exchange: “I think I might be scared of you, but probably not for the reasons you think.” “Yes.” Draco stares at Harry. “I think I might be scared of you too.”

Forged through flowing water by @tedahfromtayla (an @hd-erised​ fic) - 40k - E When Hermione sets up a diplomatic mission to begin repairing the damage British colonisation did to Indian magical communities Harry isn’t going to pass on the opportunity to visit and help his family’s home country. Maybe he should have asked a few more questions about the personnel she had recruited for it before signing on because Malfoy surely has an ulterior motive to be there.

so much to love about this fic. the beautiful settings, from kolkata to mumbai, to the holi festival and colorful lively streets, to remote cave settlements and old intricate temples. it’s harry in the homeland, reconnecting to his family’s heritage and confronting the weight of imperialism in his history. it’s nipping the white savior complex in the bud. this part: That is what England left behind. That is what it still stands for, despite whatever mask of respectability and honour it presents. . .You don't get to step aside and let someone else deal with the mess. You have to listen and learn and then act, Malfoy, you need to learn how to fix your own mess. This is why we're here. my indigenous ass cheered. HP certainly sells the british fantasy but HP fanfic?? fuck jkr, fuck the crown. i love that this fic doesn’t romanticize england’s history. i love that we get to see the vast resilience and beauty of post-colonial india.

Purity Control by yrfrndfrnkly - 28k - T In which Harry tries to ignore his trauma with fantasy Quidditch but Malfoy's Thereness™ is distracting and all his classmates want to talk about are unicorns, virginity, and Muggle music.

tender 8th year fics where they go from bristly as fuck to understanding and soft 100% guaranteed to make me emo as hell. all the teens have traumas and no one wants to talk about it but eventually Things are Talked About. it’s good of the adults to finally notice. everyone just wants someone to hold their hand. and this part: “You’re the only person around here who’s a bigger mess than I am.” “I thought maybe we could be a mess together,” pls don’t look at me as i weep over their gentle empathy.

Advent, a comic by dustmouth - WIP - T It's Harry and Draco's first Christmas together and Draco is determined to live his full yuletide fantasy, come hell or high water.

dustmouth, patron saint of whimsical drarry. whose illustrations singlehandedly reinvented wizarding fashion. whose cheeky and tender comics are like a soothing balm to the utter depravity of this carnal world. harry and draco being domestic, draco’s xmas spirit brand being “traditional unhinged”!! extremely my shit. we’ll absolutely be reading this all december.

Little Spaces by @dracoladon and @lazywonderlvnd​ - WIP - E Draco's back from France and working on the spell damage ward at St Mungo's with Hermione, who invites him over for dinner. Without telling Harry. This is a roleplay, which means Harry is written by one author (lazywonderland) and Draco by another (dracoladon).

the switch in distinct character voices works so well for this fic!! tonally i feel like i'm watching an episode of the office. i personally love harry and draco being Pissed Off at how much they want to bone each other. the battle of the tapenade was the most riveting dinner scene i've read in a minute. clever, hilarious, emotionally tense. can’t wait until that inevitable moment post hate-sex when they’re gonna be like “oh noooo it’s a Heart Boner as well!! >:((” hell ya we’re subscribing for chapter updates.

Dragons Don’t Know Paradise by @teacup-tai​ - WIP - E In 2004, when Remus spends two scary weeks in the ITU due to complications of pneumonia and his HIV condition, Sirius walks around the house like a ghost and Harry finds comfort and strength in Draco through a chat in an online LGBT forum. Harry falls for him, but Draco has a lot of secrets and, before long, will need to come clean—even if he believes that no one is able to understand a dragon.

non-magical bookshop AU. remus and sirius’ relationship is a marvel. the ease of their affection with harry makes me so emo. draco’s friends being insistently present even as he tries to isolate himself. this is a story about acceptance, found families, and falling in love at a distance. the intimacy, the longing, the tenderness. what a fic!! i keep coming back to this part:...he looks at ease, inside his body, a body he needed to fight for. He’d made peace with his struggles and his scars. And Draco realises he wants that. He wants to be at ease inside his body, the body that now carries a virus. He wants to be at peace with his own existence. you hurt for draco so deeply but you get moments like these where he affords himself a kindness that feels foreign and it’s just!! the boys navigating grief and learning to be vulnerable. so good.

[alex-kralie]

Hey if you're still doing the ask game thing, how about one for Brian Thomas?

favorite thing about them:

Bold of you to assume I can even pick one thing- he’s just great all the time :)

least favorite thing about them:

Kinda sad he didn’t get as much screentime without the funky mask on. Like- bro pls I wanna see him running from twink Kralie <3

favorite line:

“Bleed more” (<- kinda a line!)

brOTP:

Hmmm honestly him and Alex (SORRY AGAIN BRILEX SHIPPERS LOL) the two seemed like rlly good friends before they went for each other’s throats

OTP:

Him and Tim,,, they’re besties AND beloveds your honor!!!

nOTP:

Hmmm dunno. Probably something with the girls in mh cause there’s no way he isn’t gay

random headcanon:

He’s very tall so he tends to bump his head when he gets into Alex’s car and Alex teases him about it :)

song i associate with them:

Pork Soda by Glass Animals

favorite picture of them:

[honorable-wanderings]

Word of Honor - Episode 3 Part 2 - We’re getting INN to it now!

Meanwhile back with Scooby  and the Gang. B-characters realize that the Goldilocks is missing and it was only the 3 bears that were killed.

And we can hear them surprisingly well from this far away. Their voices must carry exceptionally well.

---------------

The spiderwebs of DEATH

Seriously though it’s been hours. How has no one either taken these wires down or run into them accidentally? You cannot tell me they have checked every bit of this place for ChengLing’s body if these are still up.

Someone has lied to you Mr. White ‘n’ Blue.

----------------------

No you fucking did not. If you were cleaning them up roughly you’d at least get the ones on the main doorways! goddamn.

-----------

Old ppl vs the Ghosts!

COME ON DOWN FOR THE FIGHT OF YOUR LIFE THE ALL DEAD VS THE MOSTLY DEAD THIS SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY BE THERE BE THERE BE THERE.

---------------

The Ghost Valley is a menace! It’s high time someone went in there and eradicated them all!

Huh... never thought of that before...

-----------------------

Eh. Old people chanting the children’s rhymes doesn’t have the same tension. It’s just not the right feel. It’s a no from me.

----------------

Yes. This is perfectly far enough away. No one could possibly overhear us from this distance! I am a genius!

-----------------

We are all very worried about ChengLing’s well being. Yes. That is all. Only his well being. Nothing else. No ulterior motives here. Nope. Purely just good will and worry. :DDDD

---------------------

Ah yes! Back to my boys! :D

------------------------

You big softie.

Seriously though. He is so considerate of not only Best Boy’s physical well being but really his emotional state and autonomy as well. He doesn’t expect ChengLing to act like a full grown adult but he doesn’t treat him like a little kid either. It’s great and I’m here for it.

---------------------------------

It’s not stalking if we got here first, right? Now you’re stalking me! :D :D :D :D :D

-------------

Some day soon I’ll get you to admit you like me ;)

-------------------

-------------------------------------------------------

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat you’re here to? At this random river?????? OMG what are the chancesssssss?!?!?

At this point I just wanna know fuckin how????

----------------------------------

A-Xiang deserves a fucking medal for putting up with this BS. For real.

----------------

A-Xu you make-a him sad D:

---------------

Zhou ZiShu! Look out! They’re stealing your boat!!

-------------------------

-Hey if the ghost valley peeps come up to wreck shit it’s gonna be our shit that gets wrecked too you know? -I don’t give a farting fly’s left ass cheek! I’m one foot in the grave already.

------------------

Glazed armor this glazed armor that give me a glazed donut and let’s call it a day. I don’t careeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

------------------------------------------

Are you inn or out?

----------------------

Sorry we’re out of space because for some reason we let ourselves rent out the entire establishment to a single person. Like I get he paid for the rooms but it’d still be bad for business?? Like no one wants to go to an inn if they won’t let you stay even though there are empty rooms. Like the fuck

------------

Look elsewhere? Shit you know this is the only inn in town (apparently)!! Where we supposed to go???

Um... why don’t you try looking at I don’t give a FUCK

----------------------------

Well well well. Who could have seen this coming?

-------------------

Zhou ZiShu is about read to add a few more nails

---------------------------

This old ragged beggar man is hot as fuck. Set him up in my room at once!

Just end my suffering. I beg you

-------------------------

ChengLing just gonna keep his mouth shut and stay out of it

------------------------------

-I gave you my own room! -My room now. Kindly GTFO -But I bought you clothes too! -Yeah no one asked you. GTFO!!

-How have my seduction techniques continued to fail??????????

-------------------------------

Love me pls D:

-----------------

If Oedipus invented a wire tap he’s gonna have to work harder to get past me!!

---------------

But he doesn’t look like he’s a bad person

Bad people rarely do.

--------------------

Take the bed? I couldn’t possibly!! No! You’re taking care of me and protecting me and you’re old! You take the bed! I’ll sleep on the chair! I’m the best boy!!!

Bitch did I fucking stutter?

--------------

You owe me no explanations. I’m sure you have your reasons and that they’re good ones. But don’t suffer needlessly. Treat your wounds and I won’t ask any more about it.

--------------

MY BOY DOESN’T DESERVE THIS. ALL THIS OVER A PIECE OF FUCKIN SEA GLASS??????????

---------------

Ain’t nobody dope as me I’m just so fresh, so clean (So fresh and so clean clean)

--------------------------

Daaate niiiiiight

----------

So I get that you’re like persistently stalking me and all that but like Why??

Because I know you cute as fuck. Why you hiding? Show me what your true face and I’ll tell you what I want. What I really really want.

You first bitch

-------------

Local man tries to pry secrets out of only human in a 10 mile radius who has no ulterior motives and is confused when it doesn’t work.

--------------

Das gay

HDU

----------------------

Clink Clink bitch

-------------------------

Master can you please keep it in your pants for 5 minutes? It’s all I ask. Just 5 minutes of peace! Please!

---------

Pop Quiz! Who is the second cutest person in the world?

I will settle for anyone who feeds me

Naw. Tsundere is where it’s at.

*Is unimpressed in tsundere*

---------------------

Then who is the mostest cutest?

A tsundere with long legs, slim waist, fat ass.

Heavens strike me down now. Please end my misery. Why did I sit here? Didn’t I know better?

Anyone have any more torture nails? Anyone? Please?

-----------------------------

*Insert Mii channel theme*

--------------------

We are the unwashed masses. Let’s go fuck some shit up

---------

Hey guys. Does this look like anime style to you? Someone said it looks like anime but I don’t see it.

I think it looks great! I can’t even draw a stick figure! hahahaha

--------------------------

Sleepy boi <3

----------------

How the fuck did I become the third wheel?

-----------

*mii channel theme continues*

----------------

Your honored uncle here wouldn’t let us eat anything until you woke up even though he sat at my table. D:

-------------------

-Stop acting like a little brat and start acting polite and demure like the other girls

-Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh gross

-------------------------

We’re doing found family and we’re doing it now!

-------------------------

Why aren’t you eating?

Yeah! We had to wait all this time for you to get here and you’re not even eating anyway!!!!!!

Well my home and my entire family died, and so did that random boat man who protected me. And also there’s a hole in my stomach. So I don’t have much of an appetite atm.

Oh My God. can you not???

But that’s how I show affection!!!!!!!! D:<

---------------

Shoving food in your face to hide your tears. A time honored tradition.

Also D: Best boy is sad </3

--------------------

Oh no. More people I’m supposed to remember.

JESUS FUCK REALLY???

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HOW MANY? You cannot tell me they are all important. Please tell me I’m not supposed to remember this many people. I can’t handle this.

aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG

THAT’S 11 PEOPLE AT ONCE! WHAT THE FUCK

---------------

Whenever this guy speaks it sounds like he’s trying really hard not to cough in front of the board meeting.

-------------

Okay so what I got from this is

There was a treaty between these peeps and the ghost peeps to say they’ll leave each other the fuck alone

The ghost peeps broke that promise by fucking with the mirror lake sect and so these peeps decided to retaliate

and they’re gonna retaliate by throwing a party? Like I guess they’re just gathering forces? But like it’s a weird way to do it.

-------------

Oh for the love of god.

--------------------------------

Pffffffffffffffff welcome to the circus

----------------------------

*sigh*

Okay y’all I can remember like 6 people. 7 Max. Y’all gonna have to be picky about who’s important here.

How many of these people do I actually have to know?

----------------------

Now what the fuck happened here and why are the twin jades here?

-------------------------

You two have a piece of the glazed ham. And even though no one is using it it’s really important that we keep it that way. No one must hold all pieces of the glazed ham. Or..... bad things?

--------------

Oh my. Pain o’clock already?

-----------------

SOMEONE GET THEIR ASS IN THERE AND GIVE MY BOY A HUG!

-----------------------

Hey! What do you see? Is he in there? I can’t see a goddamn thing.

-------------------

So I know that he’s like what, 15? And like grew up with a dad. But like you know they made him scream “A-Die” and then wake up to Zhou ZiShu’s comforting touch on purpose. You know that was planned.

Maybe not a father, but certainly a father figure.

(Also thanks, A-Xu for answering my request from earlier for someone to comfort the poor boy.)

--------------------------

What’s this? The sounds of a scuffle???

Whelp. Not anymore.

--------------------------

Couldn’t he have just ordered them to leave instead?

---------------------

The Ghost Valley seems to be following me rather closely.

Oh you have no idea. ;)

-------------------

Alcohol detected

-------------------

Let me call you a cute pet name and I’ll let you drink from my bottle of nectar. ;)

Oh my god this shit again?

----------------------

You know what?

Two can play at this game.

---------------------

You wanna see what lies underneath? Rip it off yourself.

Don’t worry! I’m patient! Sleep well! Dream of me! I know I’ll be dreaming of you! ;)

[jockvillagersonly]

2020 Drama Round Up!

Jock’s Alphabetical Watched List

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

Ancient Detective

Rating: 🧣🧣🧣🧣🧣 5/5 cozy winter garments

Watch Status: done! ✅

The Good Stuff:

The MC is, objectively, the coziest man alive

MC said “simp rights” and honestly...good for him

I guessed the ~final twist~ really early, but it didn’t dampen my enjoyment of each individual case or the show as a whole!

Any Bad Stuff?

The last few episodes are like...oddly homophobic? With a queer-coded character presented in a somewhat grotesque stereotype? SAD!!

🌸 more reviews under the cut 🌸

Ever Night (S1)

Rating: 🌂🌂🌂🌂 4/5 inexplicably magic umbrellas

Watch Status: ...like 30% done

The Good Stuff:

Some of the BEST fight scenes I’ve seen

Lots of interesting world building!

My queen Meng Ziyi 👑

Any Bad Stuff?

God the MC’s hair is UGLY 😔 pour one out 😔

Guardian

Rating: 👬👬👬👬👬 5/5 gays

Watch Status: done! ✅

The Good Stuff:

It doesn’t get any gayer than this folks

Really this is some of the queerest media I’ve ever seen

Also the main and ensemble characters are all endearing and fun 🐍

All I know is have diarrhea and be hindrance

Any Bad Stuff?

The middle portion of this show DRAAAAGS

Also ZYL’s hair makeover is awful and someone needs to say it !!!!!

Legend of Fei

Rating: 🌰🌰🌰🌰🌰 5/5 dog safe chestnuts

Watch Status: still airing

The Good Stuff:

The pure yibotonin in this show could power a city or at least one depressed viewer (me)

Zhou Fei could and frankly should kick my ass

I love her your honor

Any Bad Stuff?

Has the odd effect of each plot arc feeling both way too long AND like you’ve been crammed way too full of information

Maiden Holmes

Rating: 🕵️‍♀️🕵️‍♀️🕵️‍♀️🕵️‍♀️🕵️‍♀️ 5/5 superior detection skills

Watch Status: one night and 15 episodes in

The Good Stuff:

The main pairing is so fucking cute guys. He loves her so much. He thinks she’s so smart 🥺

Includes one of the purest archetypes of a himbo on screen today 🤌

Crime solving! Hidden identities! Bisexual panics!

Any Bad Stuff?

One episode includes a pretty long assault scene / near r*pe of a main character - the scene is flashed back to throughout the episode, as well

Oh My General!

Ranking: 💪💪💪💪 4/5 beefy lady biceps

Watch Status: like 25% done because FUCK it’s long

The Good Stuff:

Literally EVERYONE in this show is bi. I have the screenshots to prove it. It’s glorious

call me old fashioned, but i was raised to serve my general. clean for her. cook for her and everything i do is for her. and if she cheats? that is on me! she caught me slipping and i will apologize and do better.

Any Bad Stuff?

My only complaint so far is the romance takes awhile to pick up? I’m pretty tired of the main love interest being rude to his objectively incredible wife >:(

S.C.I.

Ranking: 🐭🐭🐭 3/5 mouse archetypes

The Good Stuff:

The pacing is quick! Sometimes too quick? I got lost a lot @___@

Bai Yutong is simply TOO ripped

Any Bad Stuff?

Honestly this show is a bit of a poorly edited, problematic dumpster fire with not even a passing understanding of what psychology is

...but god if it isn’t fun to watch

Silent Criminal

Rating: 🥸🥸🥸🥸 4/5 conveniently disguised emperors

Watch Status: done! ✅

The Good Stuff:

They’re gay and in love your honor

Honestly the two leads really grew on me! I found myself wanting to rewatch their interactions

Not a whole lot of actual crime solving :(

Any Bad Stuff?

Yet another example of the tragic underutilization of female characters with potential 😔 justice for the ladies of this show

There is an assault scene (a character straddles a main character and forces a kiss while he protests). Easily skippable and not referenced again

Sword Dynasty

Rating: 🐛🐛🐛🐛 4/5 divine silkworms

Watch Status: just started (like 3 eps in)

The Good Stuff:

The fight scenes are very wuxia and very fun

Idk what the fuck is going on, but I’m pretty sure the emperor deserves to be stabbed, so go off I guess!

Any Bad Stuff?

Honestly I have barely begun this so ... idk yet!

Tale of the Nine Tailed

Rating: 🦊🦊🦊🦊 4/5 immortal foxes

Watch Status: mostly done

The Good Stuff:

Lee Yeon is very hot and that’s a fact

Nam Ji Ah (main female lead) is SO powerful and SO amazing and LITERALLY my queen

She stabs her fake mom when she’s , like , 5!

The communication b/w the leads??? Iconic

Any Bad Stuff?

This is just me, but I truly cared so little about the Imoogi. I just. Wanted an episodic monster of the week with all the same characters. Pls

The Lost Tomb Reboot

Rating: 👨‍🦰👨‍🦰👨‍🦰 3/5 bad mustache disguises

Watch Status: I stopped watch once [SPOILER] Wu Xie was cured, because I just ... don’t care about the mob politics? So for me that was where the show ended

The Good Stuff:

Zhu Yilong is like ... way too fucking pretty

Also the Wu Xie & Pangzi friendship is so FUN in this show!!!!

Everyone is 2 hot 2 handle

Any Bad Stuff?

Not nearly enough Iron Triangle hangouts >:(

Shockingly large amounts of white collar crime, shockingly few tombs

Every lady is CHRONICALLY underused and/or murdered. Yawn.

The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty

Rating: 🎩🎩🎩🎩 4/4 detective hats

Watch Status: I’m always on / off with this show 😔 I’m like 2/3 done now

The Good Stuff:

Crimes !! Solving crimes !! Gay domesticity !! What more could you ask for

One of the best OT3 set ups in the business

Any Bad Stuff?

Silly hats

For folks with secondhand embarassment issues, the main lead can be ... hard

The Untamed

Rating: 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰 5/5 soft bunny metaphors

Watch Status: Done! ✅

The Good Stuff:

Everyone in this show is so pretty I’m convinced it’s illegal

Like if this didn’t pass censorship it wouldn’t be because of the obvious gay longing but rather because it’s setting unrealistic expectations for beauty

Also: the gayest longing around. And murder!

Any Bad Stuff?

Nothing this show is perfect in every way

(Except like maybe don’t kill or write off all your women ... thoughts)

[konaizumi]

A Tale of a Thousand Stars ep 4 thoughts/reactions

they got me with the dream sequence at first, but when phupha started getting really mad i figured it was a dream

but we’re starting to reveal tian’s insecurities about how he feels like he can’t live up to torfun

khaotung’s smile always makes me smile

dr nam is my new favorite character

i love phupha’s level of panic anytime anyone suspects him of liking tian

good on tian for teaching the children valuable life skills, finally getting into the swing of being a teacher

i love these precious children

i can’t get over this scene of phupha acting out torfun’s story, he’s so cute, trying hard even while embarrassed

lol, tian trying to push the kids’ hands down when they rat him out

i can’t stand these two flirting so blatantly, but i’m glad tian always gives as good as he gets

phupha’s smile when their faces get close together

i love the soundtrack so much, maybe even more than uwma, it’s just so relaxing

i can’t get over how earth’s body looks in the forest ranger suit and i’m asexual

aww, look at tian getting all jealous

can we please meet dr nam’s girlfriend, as a treat?

i still maintain that dr nam only thinks phupha can’t flirt bc he’s never seen phupha actually try to flirt

the absolute chaos of the kitchen scene

we love boyfriends who eat their boyfriend’s shitty attempts at cooking

dr nam is just exposing everyone this ep

the look on phupha’s face when tian stops him before he leaves to point out his bag

they’re in love, your honor

yes, more smart engineer tian pls

phupha pouting out of jealousy

i’m so glad tian has a friend that’s not a forest ranger, but also they’re def the type of friends who encourage each other’s bad ideas

rang, tian, and longtae are this show’s zero braincell trio

phupha and tian def both wanted phupha to spend the night

“look at your guy”

i love everything about the spinning tops scene

i love how completely unsubtle tian and phupha are, like they flirt all the time in front of everyone, no wonder phupha’s friends are always making fun of him

phupha’s face as his confidence slowly falls

tian, my sweetheart, my precious son, pls pls pls take better care of yourself, go talk to dr nam and get your pills refilled

ooo, phupha has another tattoo

i just love rang’s crackhead energy

okay but phupha never actually denies that it’s a date

tian doing a slow once over to check out phupha

phupha’s panic about the tag

okay but all their smirks

i need to know if tian tripping was scripted or not bc it looks unscripted

okay but did they really only bring one water bottle for a hike up the mountain?

also as much as i love phupha’s outfit, is that really what he choose for a hike up a mountain?

we love the double foreshadowing of the smugglers and ghost hill

who else really wanted to see phupha give tian a piggy back ride?

for a relatively lighthearted show, i like how they don’t shy away from more serious discussions, like death is a pretty big theme between torfun’s death, tian’s suicidal thoughts and “rebirth,” the ever present danger associated with phupha’s job

i would’ve preferred  they would drag on the heart transplant secret a little longer, to build tension, but i like the way they did it, it didn’t feel rushed or out of place, also just the moment felt just right what with the deep convo they were having

“do you want to know me?” im dead

yay! finally confirmation that phupha did not love torfun romantically

i was initially worried that the whole “do you love me bc i have torfun’s heart” thing was going to be a problem but with the way the narrative is going i don’t think that’s going to be anything major, if it comes up at all

prediction: tian will lie about his relationship with torfun

anyways, the whole mountain top scene was so good, earth and mix did such a good job acting it out

so it seems like we’re going to avoid any kind of “bUt iM NoT gAy” storylines for both of them as they both seems pretty accepting and open of their feelings for the other--tul is surprised in the preview that tian likes a man so im still a little worried, and tian seems a little confused, but i hope it doesn’t become a big deal

also, white is back next ep!

also tian is, once again, finding himself in trouble

good, this was such a good ep, so many high quality phutian moments, pls keep it up, i love this show

[mapofheart]

Male leads I would gladly punch in the face

It is no nuance November and boy oh boy do i have opinions. I hope they make you laugh, so here goes; 

1. Baek Seung Jo - Playful Kiss Dude me when I fucking GET this guy. This. Bitch. He has a superiority complex and treats the main girl like shit while keeping her wrapped around his fucking finger. The WAy I would send this man directly to the Hospital He Works At.

2. Yoo Jung - Cheese in the Trap I would put this man in the ground. He is a violent sociopath. He ALSO acts better than everyone else in the show. The man follows her around like a stalker and (its been a long time since I watched the show but if I remember correctly) he basically ruined In Ho’s life for a little bit there. 

3. Ha Baek - Bride of the Water God / Bride of the Habaek I don’t remember much about this drama other than the pure, unfiltered, rage I felt 70% of the time. Both of the leads are insufferable. They’re both little brats who won’t say how they really feel and all they ever do is complain. 

4. Kim Joo Won - Secret Garden I watched this in 8th grade. I remember nothing. But that’s irrelevant. I simply do not like him. I would deck the shit out of him. Nuff said.

5. Kim Tan - Heirs At the start of this show I was like “I would punch Yeong Do” and “Tan is just a himbo. Good kid” but then we fast forward to the fucking closet kiss and I’m like “sir I will literally knock the wind right out of your controlling, overly-jealous stomach” 

6. Nam Do-San - Start Up Ok so I would grab this man by the shoulders and be like “you are in desperate need of therapy. You need some serious help” and he’d be like “no” and that, is when I would just fucking clock him. Knock some sense into him because he certainly has the potential to be a good boy. P.S. I value my life. There is fear in my eyes while writing this. This is a joke. The man makes me mad but I don’t hate him like places 1-4 of this list.

Honorable Mentions:

Seo Hwi - My Country the New Age I love Hwi. He is a sweet baby. My bisexual son-in-law. However, there were a few scenes where I was like “pls stop bullying my son Nam Seon-Ho he’s just m i s u n d e r s t o o d”. P.S. I love my dead gay son and his dead bi boyfriend. 

Moon Ha-Won - A Piece of Your Mind / Half of Half Listen I really like this guy. He’s soft. A sweetie. Good lad, look at him go. I just also really liked Kang In-Wook and I didn’t like when he yelled at him and stuff :c. I just wanted them to be friends bro.

Moo Myung / Sun Woo Rang - Hwarang This guy is really great when he’s not around A-Ro. When he’s around her, or when he’s fighting with Maek Jong over her, he’s overly aggressive and borderline whiny. Or he says something hurtful to her that he doesn’t mean.

This is all mostly a joke, please remember these are just characters, and its not worth arguing over. Also I would never punch anyone, I hate violence. I hope you have a fantastic day, or night, whether or not you agree with me. This post exists to make the reader laugh, so I hope you liked it! :) as always, thank you for reading

[strawberry-lemonade]

Funniest things I’ve said(in my opinion):

to my dad:

-that’s some.. ✨spicy✨ depression u got there

-*in response to “im looking for something straight”* u sure u got the right person for that??

-what the mcfudge-nuggets is a city tiddy and why does that name exist

-if i ask to borrow something, first of all I’m not asking, and second of all it’s not borrowing, cuz ur never getting it back

-*ahem* holy hexagon i thought u were a good driver what was that??

-that wasnt very gucci flipflops of you! u mad bro???

-father i require the cotton things^ from the big magic box*. the blood monster• hath returned. (^pads, *store, •period)

-i did a thing that i did not need to do which means that the other thing that i do need to do has not been thinged however i would like to do another thing so i will do that thing and continue to not do the original thing that needs to be thinged.

to my brothers:

-what the mcfuck is up you mcfucking whore

-add me back bitch

-*in response to “ur younger than me don’t ‘awe’ me”* id advise u to not get your hopes up

-one day im gonna get married to a tree for tax benefits and im gonna forcefully make you my maid of honor 💕

-u gucci????????

-i dont think dad made a very good choice in leaving the two of us home alone...

(my brother and i are the problem children and if i weren’t so good at covering tracks we both would probably be grounded for life.)

-are you stupid? like,, are you actually stupid??? That is the worst idea ever so obviously we are going to do it but know that you are a fucking idiot

-*somehow becomes my little brother’s official curser????*

(like he’ll be singing a song that i know and just before he gets to the part that says the f word he cuts off and looks to me and I’ll say ‘FUCK’ for him)

to my sisters:

-i know you’re straight and dont like girls but im bi and we have almost nothing in common and we need something to talk about so we’re gonna act like stereotypical high school girls and talk about boys all night.

-is this what being a >white< teenager is like??? We get to legally do illegal things because no one actually gives enough fucks to reprimand us for things that endanger both us and those around us????

-i think I’ll have another existential crisis, that sounds nice right now.

-jesus christ i think I’m normal now... that’s disgusting someone come drop me on my head again, i need another 14 years of trauma induced weird habits that freak my family out but impress my online friends

-jesus fucking christ i think I’ve fallen in love with more inanimate objects this is becoming an obsession do i need a doctor

to my friends:

-it gets ✨spicy✨

-Hello I See That You Have Followed Me And I Would Like To Ask If You Are Alright

-im in the middle of a pickup line battle with my friend and hes beating me 😭😭

-still got the pronouns right bitch (used they/them)

-okay i have ten bad ideas you have to fucking elaborate

-besides i wanna fight kids about whether cereal is soup

-DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS -yes- for some reason I don’t believe you

-I Mean My Father Just Pulled A Batman And Adopted Someone Because They Have My Brother’s Old Number

-i have been murdered -oh no- no it’s great life has no meaning anyways

-i defied the laws of physics *i just took a picture*

-do u wanna homo today

-oh good job on sleeping

-good night my yes homo bro

-jake peralta killed me T-T

-hey jay can i have a kiss? .. no homo tho

-hey wally u want in on the homo?

-jay come over here we need to homo

-*starts fake-dating someone that is literally named ketchup after fake-dramatically breaking up with s/o*

-As you can see, my detective skills are far superior to all of you.

-jay stop following me I’m breaking up with u

-As Drake would say, Peace in, you fucks.

-*brother dies* Ah. Peace has come to me once more.

-Did you have to kill him? Was my grandfather not enough for you?

-you murder-whore

-this is why i love you, you don’t discourage my homicidal tendencies

-hello i exist. I am not okay with it

-are you telling me not to stab someone right now because first of all how did you know and second of all why not

-fOUR DAYS_ that’s longer than I’ve been alive!!

-I’m gonna gay

-i just watched the music video for bang bang and no one can convince me that anyone in that video is heterosexual

-im a fucking narwhal

-they exist. I am legally required to pull a batman

-yA KNOW WHY HANDS ARE SO FUCKING SEXY TO ME?? I CANT DRAW THEM. AND I AM IN CRISIS

-why the frick frack knick knack slip slap mc mac and cheese are you so bad at taking care of yourself

-so anyways merry crisis eve eve

-and then i checked and was sorely disappointed that i dont annoy you but aNYWAYS

-*ostrich noises intensify*

-excuse me since when the fuck do i have a life

-*t-poses* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

-even pieces of trash need to breath tho so stop making me wheeze pls

-my dude i have nOODLE ARMS_ why do u think I’m noodle jr

-ur right! I make the rules and the rules are no rules except for one rule that’s not necessarily a rule but its still in the rule book of nonexistent rules to follow bc they’re rules and rules are rules my dude

[gakuenbbsitters]

tokeino cultivates such cute character interactions and is really unobtrusive with romance in gbb but it’s still a shoujo so the possible Straight couple development is looming like a heterosexual miasma in the far off distance - they’re gay your honor pls let inoushi be lesbians