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#like people who arent interested in art still do it sometimes right
once-upon-the-earth · 1 month
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i dont understand how some people never pick up art as a hobby. How do you live without creating something? How does it not itch in your fingertips to make something every damn day when you dont do anything for months? Just - how does it feel like?
this is not some sort of pretentious "oh look at me im an artist" i just genuinely do not understand. I have fifty creative projects and want to do them all at the same times. I physically need to, my brain gets sad without it and i just cannot comprehend how some people walk their whole lifes without ever really feeling that edge.
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esoteriamaya · 2 months
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Astro Notes : Short N Sweet <3 Neptune's Revenge
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Neptune 1st House - Popular energy. Very well known for their beautiful, majestic energy. Could have a lot of haters but admirers at the same time. Energetically sensitive to alot of others emotions. Sometimes, it can be a lil confusing holding so much power. Because their energy can be mixed up with someone elses if they don't know how to tell the difference. They usually have a strong sense of self, its just other peoples opinions can get in away of that if they arent careful.
Neptune 2nd House - Could use some help on the financial train. They're organic to the way they use their money. I mean, they could be super horrendous spender, spending each and every dime on any and everything. While still some how always having more in their wallet. Or they could be pretty good at saving and are a little bit of a cheapskate.
Neptune 3rd House - Whimsical voices. Poetic writers. Creative thinkers. Very talented when it comes to the hands as well. Could be excellent drawers & painters. Neptune in the 3rd has an ability to travel to very interesting places that aren't too far at home. They may go on lil adventures here and there. But its always a treat. Its kinda strange how well they can be at finding good eats as well with all the travel they do. Could work abroad or go to college somewhere out of their comfort zone a lil.
Neptune 4th House - Has a lot of secrets when it comes to the inner child. Very free, sweet loving children. Can open a door to different realms like we're in Narnia or something. Angelic creatures who enjoy alone time near their favorite place. If they ever share that special place with you consider yourself lucky. They normally keep the things they cherish hidden for a long time.
Neptune in the 5th House - Artists who seek deep into the art and become it. Very creative & a one of a kind with the way they carry the emotion in what it is they do. Can have you thinking hard on what it is they are trying to convey, they are a master at making complexities more harder to figure out. Just be there in the audience and watch the show. You'll never leave the same again.
Neptune in the 6th House - Fun loving pet owners, they go hard for the planet and the creatures that come from it. Real advocates for change and don't take too kindly to insensitive people. Could need to sharpen their boundaries a little more with people. Also, are incredible writers and should tap into this side a bit more. You might end up surprised with what talents you have that could make you some money, or could be a really cool job.
Neptune in the 7th House - Romance is the thing that just keeps on given to these individuals. May need to put the rose colored glasses down. that man might not be for you, love. Don't forget to put more time into your own needs versus the needs of someone else. Your compassionate energy may run dry if you're not using that waterfall of emotion for yourself. People are drawn to 7th house neptunes alot more than you think. They are capable of seeing thru the veil, you just don't notice.
Neptune in the 8th House - Psychologically understands the reasons on why the universe is the way that it is and why the people in it behave the way that we do. Could be honest about a lot of things, dishonest about what they know. The world doesn't need to know everything, which is why the divine gifted them with certain antidotes. Only they can use this so bring healing to a certain nation (or individual) but not everyone can find this secret the way they can. This is normally given to them by spirit guides, ancestors, or thru drreams.
Neptune in the 9th - Impracticality is almost their birth right. They see things in a way that doesnt make sense at all but to them it means something. What I mean is that these people see the world bigger than what they people tell them. They could have big drams and not understand why they have them, but God put them their for a reason. So you can figure them out. You may want to travel and study abroad, or just move somewhere different and don't know how. Thats where all the magic happens, finding out and taking the risk. The sagittarian way.
Neptune in the 10th - Majestic auras. The highlight of the moment. The star. The siren. The energy healer. Do I keep going? Very special creatures who touched this earth to make their dreams come true, even if they have to figure it out themselves. Empathetic to the people around them and are big on helping out with anything whenever they can. The Queens & Kings of the law of attraction. Can attract what they want if they just believe it in it more.
Neptune in the 11th House - Community leaders. Ancients who know they way to what the true reality is meant to be like. Literally can change the world with the way they move, think, and go around helping others. Sweet and lovely people to be around. Needs healing in their own friend groups. Can be a little out there, but thats why people love them.
Neptune in the 12th House - Practical minds in a world that tells them their crazy. No they arent crazy, they just have multiple psychic gifts. And these gifts have a way in showing them things people aren't usually equipped with handling. They need more time alone and in nature to keep themselves grounded. Other wise, they will go crazy from the world telling them that their crazy... When really they know a little more than what they led on. The imagination is a fun place, but also a place where the most hidden becomes entirely to open. Seers of the daylight & the night.
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yc-shiya · 7 months
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danganronpa universe dashboard simulator
💔 monoslayy Follow
rlly it’s not “pretentious” to not find the newer seasons better?? listen i love the new ones as much as anyone else (ESP DANRON 48 UGHHHHH WTFFF) but to act like the junko twist is still subversive is just WRONG
😈 junkosgirl04 Follow
Literally who said that lol this is not an unpopular opinion at all
💔 monoslayy Follow
are you biased maybe “junkosgirl04”
☠️ the-sauna-scene Follow
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they did him so dirtyyyy 😭 we do not talk about this hair ATROCITY!!! its not even funny
🌟dangan-wrongpa Follow
I find it really interesting that you so-called “sympathetic” Danganronpa fans are always harping on about the tragedies of the characters played by *REAL LIFE ACTORS* rather than the later seasons when the showrunners recruited and killed *TEENAGERS* for money and views. It’s one level of wrong to be a fan of the show and still acknowledge its problems, especially with the newer releases. It’s something else entirely to still be talking about seasons one, two, three…and completely ignore the ongoing human rights violation that is modern day Danganronpa. You people disgust me. I sincerely wish you could take a better look at the media you consume, because it’s actually, LITERALLY killing people.
☠️ the-sauna-scene Follow
not reading that
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🌟 dangan-wrongpa Follow
wow! posting fetish art of REAL LIVING PEOPLE too! literally nothing shocks me anymore with you freaks!!!
🍬 kimurasgf Follow
hey wait arent you the guy who auditioned for season 53 pitching yourself as the ultimate vtuber? lmfao?
🧈 death-by-balls Follow
If i had a nickel for every danganronpa man ive loved who was executed and turned into butter, i would have three nickels, which isnt a lot, but its weird that its happened thrice
#in 1 then 13 then 39 #they were cooking tho ngl 🔥🔥
🍀 hopefulservant Follow
listen i can be fucked in the head sometimes but we srsly gotta take a step back and consider how the series is exploiting mentally ill people for content. i mean, whens the last time we had a double or triple murder where the killer wasn’t already, or eventually revealed to be, mentally ill? What is that saying, exactly??
💣 togamicorp Follow
more👏neurotypical👏serial👏killers👏
🔪 chapter3sweetheart Follow
OP i have some news about your best boy
🍀 hopefulservant Follow
….agh…….my worthless talent…….
🎹 warriorsofdope Follow
okay can someone tell me why im seeing ship discourse about danganronpa 48 again? i thought we all played the same game and came to the consensus that the optional romance event with the whole class was universally canonical
🔮 30-percent Follow
Some of us didn’t get it on our playthrough 😒 also Sorry but I don’t like some of the cast of danganronpa 48. I don’t want them all shipped together.
🎹 warriorsofdope Follow
I can’t forgive you . Im gonna have to kill you for having that opinion.
🌟 dangan-wrongpa Follow
you shouldn’t ship the cast of danganronpa 48 because half of them are confirmed clones of Junko. go through chapter 5 again if you forgot.
🚀 femmesakura Follow
SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES
THAT THEORY WAS DISPROVEN IN DANGANRONPA 49 STFU STFU STFU HOW ARE PEOPLE STILL THINKING THIS?!?!?
🐹 gundamwenttohell Follow
dont bother with him hes the vtuber guy
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natsmagi · 8 months
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i was typing this in the notes to an ask but it gogt waaaay too long lol sorry. prefacing it with you know i love your artwork & i have nothing against what you choose to draw. also possibly worded weird cus i didnt write it in the sense of talking only to you alone
there is certainly this conflict between artists as random individuals and artists as a collective when it comes to how to approach this issue… as a hobbyist you can draw whatever you like but also when you have trends like a lack of fatness thats going to be disheartening too. i think the answer is getting more people into making art (& like general societal change of course since its an issue baked into bigotry.)
because as much as i agree with the sentiment of "there is significant under representation of fat women" (or characters in general) at the same time fandom is a hobby space and i dislike the notion of badgering individual artists to draw any particular thing especially when the source material does not have that thing. if you are looking for artwork of fat women thats great but i would not ever recommend something like enstars that has 1. no fat characters and 2. no women, barring a few exceptions. i think expecting to find fanart of fat women from a source entirely composed of thin men is unrealistic, even with the relative popularity of femstars.
plus there are other complications such as the typical modern fandom f/f scene sometimes being very strict and even vicious at times with their standards of what's enough diversity or what content is appropriate. ive heard a lot of anecdotes about people who WERE contributing to these things but whom were still harassed or got threats from other users over it not being good enough, and that's just not conducive to creating the environment or diversity you want. nobody is going to want to be in a fandom space where they have to walk on eggshells all the time. and i bring this up because of how you were clearly harassed by randos. accusing you of misogyny or shaming other womens' bodies as being "unrealistic" is not the way to go
the only reasonable solution i can think of to this is, again, to just encourage more artists to start drawing in the first place, or even better start contributing yourself. individuals should have the freedom to draw what they like without getting flamed for it AND people should be able to see themselves represented in artwork. i would like to see some more fat characters too, this is definitely something ive thought about before myself
(personally all the fat people i draw are ocs or portraits of people i know that i dont want to post online but maybe if i get some inspiration i will draw the long-sought chubby mugi myself. i am not super interested in femstars though so whether or not itd actually be fem mugi is up in the air. but all the talking here about this topic has had me thinking about following my own advice and putting what i want to see into the world.)
OUGHH THESE ARE ALL GOOD POINTS!! and i agree! the main thing we should be doing is ENCOURAGING people to add more diversity, not harassing them into it! people who only draw for fun arent really obligated to draw anything outside of their comfort zone, which again is why i think its better to simply uplift the idea of trying out new things and new appearances that you dont often draw
theres also SO MUCH room for more femstars artists too! and like ive said before if you wanna see something done right you gotta do it yourself. and i kind of like that. i like that everyone gets to craft their own little femstars variant of the enstars cast, and you can make them look however you want! and honestly? you SHOULD! seeing personal touches to designs always brings me joy, so even if you dont feel very confident in your art, if you have a specific vision for a character that you want brought to life please go ahead and draw it!! (or if you really dont want to you can always commission someone)
i also wanna highlight one of ur last points too bc yea. its unfortunate but often times whenever i see someone try adding diversity to their art for the first time they end up getting flamed because its not an accurate depiction of what they were trying to represent. and that really sucks! obviously we should strive to have accurate representation, but if its an artist that hasnt tried their hand on it before, ESPECIALLY a beginner artist, we shouldnt flame them for it. rather we should educate them on what went wrong and how they can improve for the future. these are people who actually WANT and are TRYING to add diversity to their art, but because in animanga circles theres a lack of education on how to draw more diverse features of really any kind. which is why trying to educate is far better than shaming. because if you shame these artists theyre gonna be too scared to try again, giving us less diversity once more
so yes basically what im saying is i want us all to encourage diversity and to help each other out by sharing resources and tips when it comes to drawing it!! one person is Obviously not gonna be able to do every single thing, which is why i want more people to pick up the pen and bring life to their visions!! also i really want more femstars food pelase pick up the pen i am a starved orphan and only femstars yuri can satiate me!!!!!!!!!
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moon-goddess-posts · 3 years
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Hello everyone! This is my first fanfiction and I decided to write kaeya first because I just love him sm 😭😭😭😭 anyway hope you guys enjoy! Zhongli is up next. I'm also new to Tumblr so idk how this works LMFAO
Kaeya x Gn reader
Fluff, kaeya is weird but its ok cause he warms up to you, didn't proof read this cause it was 1am
You were walking around the streets of mondstadt, you always loved the night and decided to come out for some fresh air. Lost in thought, you were reflecting on your first moments here and how the handsome calvary captain gave you a tour of the city. You were an adventurer from Fontaine seeking to do research on all the 7 regions. Mondstadt was the first region on your list. You've heard most of it from stories on barbatos and how he saved mondstadt, but you'd love to meet the people and all the certain flowers that were around. You finally arrived at the front gate and the guards gave you a warm welcome. The city air was fresh and everything had a carefree warm feel to it. "This truly is the city of freedom" you thought to yourself and smiled. Having everything written down on your notebook, you decided to try out the foods that were common here. "What can I get for you today?" The women spoke as you came up to the counter. You took out your notebook and chose a dish. "I'll take one chicken mushroom skewer please, ah would I also ask for your name if you don't mind?" You gave a friendly smile. "My name is Sara, worker at Good Hunter! Your food will be right up. I see you arent around here." "Nice to meet you Sara, im actually traveling the 7 regions for my art pieces and mondstadt just happened to be my first one. I would love to know some tourist attractions around here, would you happen to know a guide?" It was nice to see a conversation going well especially since you were never really the best at conversations. But you wanted to hurry up because your social battery was draining fast. "Id love to be your guide" and unfamiliar voice came to the right and you shot your head to that direction. His appearance was definitely different from the rest of the citizens but looked really attractive either way. He was leaning against the booth almost giving off an intimidating nature underneath the layers of charming. "Really? That would be great, thank you so much! And uhm your name is...?" Depsite the oddness you got from him, you did your best to continue the conversation as normally as possible. "Kaeya, Knights of Favionus, happy to be your guide dear" his sudden pet name made you flitch but you pushed it off "So where are we going first dear calvary captain" you gave him a teasing remark as you smirked. He chuckled "well obviously I wouldn't be a good tour guide if I didn't show you the Barbatos statute first." "Ah of course haha" you gave him a nervous chuckle. "Is there any other reason you decided to come here other than to just "explore"" You thought he ease dropped on your conversation, and even so he still didn't find you that trust worthy. "Well I'm a pretty well known artist where I'm from, but besides just coming here to make art I also decided to write a few poems for each region. If you'd want I can show you my works" you smiled happily and his cold attitude started to fade just a bit. "You can show me once we get to the next place, feel free to draw me then too ♡" it wasn't the best first impression but at least he didn't feel as hostile anymore. You and Kaeya finally made it to the statue and it was more beautiful in person than your thoughts could ever imagine. Ideas started to flow through your brain on how to paint it. "Wow its so...." you were at a lost for words. "Breathtaking isn't it?" Kaeya finished your sentence and you flahsed him a small smile and nod. "Yeah it is, ill be sure to mark it down as the first place to paint. Maybe if you'd like, you can give it to the Acting Grandmaster as a token of my thanks for having me here" "Such a kind hearted soul arent you? I'll be sure to inform her." Kaeya patted your head and walked off, assuming he was leading you to the second destination, you started to follow him. "You should stop by the tavern Cats Tail sometime tonight, I can tell you more about this place and if you'd like, more about me," You saw this as an opportunity for more research on the area, and maybe get to know Kaeya a bit more, he truly was an interesting person, so you
accepted. "I'll be sure to make it around 18:00 or 19:00!" The next destination included a beautiful tree, lake, and another small statue of barbatos. You thought it was truly magnificent, especially how the sun hit the leaves all so perfectly giving it a warm glow. "This place is Windrise. Its often associated with love and is one of the most well know spot for dates." He winked at you and you looked away, not really sure what to do. "Is that so? I can see why. Its very beautiful." You did your best not to stutter from how flirty he was being. "This statue here is for offerings. You find anemoculous and you offer them to the statues. In return, you get a gift from the God." "Oh! We have on of those where I'm from as well, but its a different person." You weren't really sure why you wouldn't tell him where you were from, maybe it was because he was super analytical, or the whole predator with its prey vibe he got going on. "There are 7 types of statues that represent the 7 archons, would it be ok if you'd tell me where you're from? I'm just so interested in you." He gave a flirty smirk and you couldn't help but blush a little bit. "Uhm I'm from Fontaine, if you couldn't tell by the clothes. Its quite similar to Mondstadt, but I find it here to be more peaceful and calming than there." "Fontaine huh? I've heard people live the luxury over there. Very formal." He laughed a bit, part of him was right but it wasn't all that good as he was making it sound. "Hmm I guess you could say that, my parents were pretty well off but I can't say much about the rest." Your gaze drifted off to the forming sunset and you wondered if you should head back soon. "Ill head back, ill tell you more about the attractions tomorrow. Don't forget our date tonight deary..." He waved goodbye and walked off. "Deary.." you said to yourself, he flattered you very much but all of it seemed off in a way. You didn't think to much about it and decided to head back too. Your memories of your first interaction with Kaeya was over once you heard someone call your name. A familiar voice that was. "Y/n!" Kaeya called out. Automatically knowing who it was, you turned around to be greeted by a fine tall man dressed in blue tones "Hi Kaeya!" "I dont think its a good idea for a pretty lady like you to be walking out so late at night." He sounded amused but you were over it. "Oh cut it out captain, I know you were just swooning some girls a couple minutes ago." "Haha so what, you jealous?" "Dont flatter yourself, why would I be jealous anyway? Feelings like those are just a waste of time" you hated to admit that you were just a tiny bit jealous. You weren't sure how your crush on the calvary captain formed but it did and it didn't seem to be going away any time soon. Part of you thought maybe he already knew and he was just toying with you. Or maybe he was oblivious to it, thinking no one could love such a person like him. Either way, you still kept these feelings inside. "There's no shame in bearing emotion, love, its just our nature. And for a while I think you've been feeling pretty intense emotions about a certain someone..." His hand tilted your chin so you could face up to him. Shoot did he know? How was that possible? Was I that obvious? You thought to yourself, you weren't sure how you were going to get out of this situation. "I...I-its nothing that concerns of you" you broke eye contact but you knew kaeya wasn't letting up. "A lie to a lier is no stranger, but if you wish to keep your secrets then who am I to cross such a boundary." He back off from you and you started to breathe again. You wanted to tell him so bad. How much you loved and cared for him, how much you so desperately wanted to be there for him no matter what situation. You were willing to take risks for him if it meant that one day you would forever be together. But maybe you thought the image you had of him was wrong. You knew well enough his flirty nature was never sincere, and how he was hiding something much darker then you ever wanted to imagine. Even so, you still wanted your
thoughts of him to become right. So before he walked off again you mustered up the courage. "Kaeya wait! I, I do actually want to tell you something." He looked surprised now but intrigued. "Ever since we met, there was always something different about you. It always left me wanting to know more and over the years I did learn more about you. But then I started feeling these weird emotions and having thse weird thoughts like thinking maybe one day we could be together...or knowing the real you even. I know you say less than you lead on but I felt like I'd be willing to take extreme risks to know who you actually are. I feel so safe around you and I always smile at those good memories we have. I dont know if this is called love, I dont know fully what love is but you're special enough for me to be having these feelings." Thats it, you let everything out. Awaiting for rejection, you began to panic when the silence held for what seemed like an eternity, until you heard him walking toward you. He held your chin again and gave you a look you've never seen before. A mix of admiration, and happiness. He swiped his thumb over your bottom lip and you tensed up. "Kaeya...." Before you could say anything else, he pulled you into a kiss. A new feeling started to arise and your whole body began to feel hot. Euphoria was coursing through your veins and you felt like you were going to fall without Kaeyas support. He was so warm, so intoxicating. You couldn't even feel where you were or he was, it all just became a bundle of sensations and happiness. You couldn't tell how long you both had kissed for but you were the first one to pull away as your breath began to shorten. "As much as a flirt as I am, I dont do well communicating my actual emotions. So id prefer to show them through my actions. I cant say it right now, but I hope that helped you realize what my answer is." He pulled you into a hug and you buried his face into his fur jacket. Already knowing his answer, you breathed a sigh of relief
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ssidesblog · 4 years
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teacher au !
(i only know how the american education system works + my school is very standard and could even be argued its worse than most public schools but thats my only point of reference ! ap stands for advanced placement and essentially means classes someone can take in hs and at the end of the year take a test, if the test is passed they gain college credit.)
roman: the loud drama teacher who doubles as the ap english teacher for the senior class. hes the teacher all the gay kids go to when they need to vent or just need advice. he makes his english class as interesting as possible; its the ap senior class so the entire course is focused on british literature, the shakespeare unit is always everybodys favorite bc roman knows so much and makes everything much easier to understand. his theatre classes are extremely chaotic and are his favorite classes of the day. the drama room is a safe space for a lot of the gay kids at school and roman makes sure hes in his room during lunch every day unless theres Important Teacher Buissness he needs to attend to. hes the director for the after school plays and 'makes' virgil codirect with him (hes in charge of all the techies). he has his favorite students (he would never admit it but like everyone Knows) who often view him as a parental/older brother type figure. hes stayed after school with kids for hours until their rides came and has even given kids rides home. hes really close to his kids and each year he cries when the senior class leaves. the theatre department doesnt get a lot of funding so roman works hard to put on shows that they can be proud of and each year he becomes more and more motivated to being new people into theatre.
logan: hes the junior year ap language + composition teacher !!! he tutors for every subject bc hes knowledgeable so he teaches basically every subject. a lot of kids go to his room during lunch + after school for tutoring and hes the reason half the school is actually passing their classes. he chose to teach language and compisition bc he loves language and being able to teach the importance of it. all of the students know just the right thing to say to get him off course and just talking about anything (theyre favorite thing is to ask about space) and he spends almost the entire period talking about that and not the actual lesson. logan + roman's english classes are next to each other and theres a door that seperates them. often times students will find sticky notes on the little window of the door that logan and roman have written for each other. all of the students think theyre secretly dating or at least WANT them to be. roman likes to go into logans class and be annoying when hes on his free period. hes also the debate teacher ! during free periods roman helps logan with his debate students. roman and logan often times get way too out of hand and their debates turn into a 'what not to do during a debate' example.
virgil: the art teacher ! theres only three art classes (beginning, intermediate, and ap) and he teaches all of them. during the start of the year hes fairly quiet and reserved but a lot of his students really like him. hes a very relaxed teacher and similar to roman gives a safe space for kids to hang out. a lot of the more reserved gay kids hang out in his room during lunch. he takes three days a week to make sure hes available to tutor during lunch, hes not as smart as logan but he has a good grasp on math so he helps a lot of his art students with their math work (theyre gay art kids ofc they dont know how to do math). virgil assigns the beginning + intermediate class to paint backgrounds for the plays and thats usually two weeks to a month that he takes his class to the drama room to work. its a way more loud atmosphere as roman also has classes going on. this is when a lot of the students see that virgil is not nearly as quiet and reserved as they thought. when hes around roman hes a lot more talkative; he's constantly jokingly making fun of roman and being a scarcastic pain in the ass. every year thats when his classes shift and hes a lot more open and fun with his classes. he plays music during class since hes not lecturing most of the time. he switches from playing classical to emo music, sometimes within the same day.
patton: hes the psychology teacher ! he only has two classes he actually teaches so when he isnt teaching hes actually a one of the two school psychologists (the other one being picani). he teaches two normal psych classes and leaves ap to janus ! hes a very hands on teacher and does lots of example based learning ! during lunch a lot of his students can be seen doing surveys to collect data for an assignment. as a school psychologist he makes sure to be as welcoming as possible, he understands why a lot of students dont want to see a school psychologist, they dont have a good rep. the kids who do see him though feel extremely safe and secure around him. hes really good at calming kids down from panic attacks, his office is filled with stim toys and theres at least 10 weighted blankets. some times kids come in just to take naps. virgil hangs out in his office a lot whenever students arent there. logan comes in on especially stressful days to either nap or read. roman borrows fidget toys from him on days where his adhd is particularly bad. remus comes in sometimes to get quick and weird psychology facts. janus and him have long discussions about philosophy and grade papers together !!
remus: anatomy and biology/ap bio teacher >:3 he is so insanley chaotic. he wanted to also teach chemistry but the principal (thomas) did NOT trust him to be around chemicals. disections are always fun ! he encourages students to NOT eat anything they disect bc hes alr tried it and it doesnt taste good (nobody knows if this is a joke or not). hes a very jokey teacher and is a fake asshole to all of his students. he is not a harsh grader at all and honestly even of a student dont get a single thing right on a test theyll probably pass as long as they tried ! roman often comes into his room during one of his free periods to tell stories about the borderline psychopathic shit remus used to do as a kid. theres a lot of storytelling in his class and each time the students are in disbelief. despite the chaos, remus is a really good teacher and everyone who takes his class learns a lot. hes definetly known to be one of the more interesting teachers and none of his classes are ever boring.
janus: he teaches ap psych, gov/econ (both normal and ap) and ap us history ! he has no free periods and he is completely ok with that. he and logan are both known for being chatty cathys and his ap psych class takes full advantage of that as a way to learn. although theyre different, janus talks a lot about philosophy to his psych students and applies a lot of what theyre learning to different philosophies. his gov/econ classes are more chaotic. theres a lot of debates and he still applies philosophy to a lot of the ideas he teaches in those classes. his ap us history class is the most chaotic. the debates in his gov/econ classes are more amoungst students but his us history class has held a lot of debates against janus and his more closeminded students. janus teaches a lot of stuff not normally taught like black history is america, native history, and a lot of the shit america did Wrong in the past and how its affecting the present. on top of his full class schedule hes the advisor for mock trial who meets afterschool. patton comes in to help the best he can (usually hes a 'what not to do' example). roman also comes in to help them make their roles the best they can possibly be
#sanders sides#roman sanders#patton sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders#remus sanders#janus sanders#logince#moceit#teacher au#ok so its technically morning bc its 5 am 😌#remus is based off my own anatomy teacher#he is a chaotic gremlin man and im sad i wont have him next year#he once told us he made a bet with a kid that he couldnt jump over his own arm#and the kid took him up on the bet like real money and the kid didnt do it right and broke his arm#to which my teacher called the nurse and gave him the money#he has wild stories esp abt his daughter lol#also logan getting distracted easily is based off my 8th grade science teacher#we asked him to tell us about the godfather movies and he spent the entire 50 min class talking about all of the god father movies#hes also an influence for remus bc he had wild stories and was a fake asshole to us#a kid had a little mark on his head from some like football accident i think ?#it wasnt big just like a little nic#and my teacher said 'oh its the mark from when yr mom trued to get ride of you it obv didnt work'#we had a discussion abt abortions at one of my table groups and he came up to us and said 'all you really need is a coat hanger'#we were 12 and that has stuck with me#he was also super passionate abt space and now he works at my local observatory#roman is based off my drama teacher bc i miss her :(#shes like a mom to me and the thot of not being able to see her for a long time is making me sad#i wrote this bc i miss school a lot which sounds whack#but like i wanna b a teacher school is important to me :((
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violasmirabiles · 4 years
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Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to know better.
i got tagged by @ruskatuska which i somehow forgot to mention first jesus christ why am i like this
1. Name/Nicknames: ali
2. Gender: who tf knows
3. Star Sign: aries
4. Height: 160cm
5. Time: gonna be 1pm in a bit
6. Birthday: march 26 so yall still have time to get me presents 
7. Favourite Band: pink floyd and wigwam are my go to bands to put here but really there are So Many
8. Favourite Solo Artist: also So Many but bowie and kate bush are safe choices
9. Song Stuck in My Head: rufus wainwright - cigarettes and chocolate milk
10. Last Movie: it chapter two
11. Last Show: uhh. god i dont know. 
12. When I Created This Blog: late 2011. like late november, early december. i know it was before i saw paul mccartney in helsinki and that was on dec 12 2011
13. What I Post: whatever fandom shit im into at any given time, bands/artists/music i like, whatever pretty and or interesting and or funny catches my eye. just posted a selfie, i do some of those. some text posts. i do use this blog to vent and i do have a shit brain so yeah
14. Last Thing I Googled: the model of my vacuum cleaner so i could find the right kind of filters i need for it lol
15. Other Blogs: @ihmekukkavesi for my photography, @shineondoc for university hell with some stephen king peppered in there. but it like. its relevant
16. Do I get asks?: sometimes. not super often. but like, i dont reblog those ask memes very often and the one good update this piece of shit website ever did is the chat system so thats good
17. Why I Chose My URL: i mean i wanted something related to my name (it is, trust me), coulda been another species but this one can also be a sneaky reference to a character from a thing im into so . yeah lol. also aesthetic. i mean it looks cool. pretty.
18. Following: a lot of people, many of whom arent active anymore but i keep following them anyway because what if they come back one day
19. Followers: a little under 2300
20. Average Hours of Sleep: eight-ish so thats good
21. Lucky Number: dont really have one of those but if a number is even OR divisible by 5 its a good number. i like 12 more than 10
22. Instruments: i have a 20-year-old shitty electric piano my dad gave me when he needed room for a newer, better electric piano. only in my current place i dont really have enough room for it even though i need it to practice choir stuff independently and just like having it because sometimes i just like to fuck around with it yknow? not calling myself good cos im not im super out of practice cos ive never been diligent abt that sorta thing but i can accompany myself and thats enough. so i keep it under my bed, not the best place, and practice on the fucking floor. cant even use pedals that way and that sucks ass. one day i will move to a bigger apartment and set it up again. i also have a baby blue ukulele with a picture of jack nicholson as jack torrance doing his heres johnny face taped on it. i got it in 2019 from my brother and his girlfriend as a christmas gift and was doing my ba thesis at the time, which i think a lot of the people who follow me know was about the shining. also also i can play guitar and bass but am not excellent at either because i never practice either of those and have neither in my apartment. and i never practice the ukulele either so even though i know a few chords i fucking suck. maybe someday.
23. What I Am Wearing: black leggings. black shirt. one black sock and one white one
24. Dream Job: i want to be able to write in some capacity and get paid for it but thats all i know and if i think too hard on it ill work myself up and wont be able to sleep so im gonna leave it at that  
25. Dream Trip: right now i just want to be able to visit my True Home Town which is not this piece of this place where i live and study and also happened to be born in
26. Favourite Food: yeah. not olives
27. Nationality: finnish
28. Favourite Song: feel like this woulda been more appropriate with the other music/art questions but hey whatever. also how the fuck am i supposed to have a favorite song when so many different gems exist. go listen to the musical box by genesis though it fucks me up every time i dont care what it does to you
29. Last Book I Read: still working on white noise by don delillo im fuckin slow i didnt use to be this slow
30. Top 3 fictional universes I would love to live in: the one where i can fucking FUNCTION, the one where i can Fucking Function and am also some sort of professional™ writer™ , and uhh. yeah idk
im gonna tag @panwriter, @appelssiini, @stokoetopia, @slip-sliding-away and @kukkahattumursu but no pressure or anything no ones gotta do this if they dont feel like it
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angeloncewas · 3 years
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dont wanna make this ask long bc i am tired and dont have the energy to be a well spoken (?) person rn but it probably will be long anyways, so sorry!! but like. as somebody who has hyperfixated on both idubbbz and schlatt (along with a plethora of other problematic content creators, i really know how to fuckn pick em!!) they absolutely foster a dogshit community, at least outside of platforms like tumblr, where like. you cant really avoid fandom culture like you can on twitter or ig, if that makes sense. on here, if you wanna post about your favorite youtuber, whether you tag it or not, other fans will likely see and if you say some bad shit, you will likely get called on it, whereas on ig basically only your followers will see it even if you use a hashtag and on twitter its like if you arent in a subtwt/fandom then you basically dont interact with any subtwt at all unless its an accident, ya know?
so like. i think what im trying to say here is that while ive met a lot of fans of both these creators, especially schlatt, who are great people as far as i can tell, i am also specifically on the fandom side of things and as soon as i step out of that space i realize that a lot of people who watch them are not actually minorities like me and my mutuals who can catch on to satire or who watch their more behind the scenes stuff where you can see them act like a decent person or even call out people for the things they usually joke about which just. fucking sucks. it sucks that, as much as i do believe schlatt is actually a good person (and sort of idubbbz, although i dont really watch him much anymore for a plethora of reasons, mostly related to the fact that i cant stand his jokes anymore even if he is playing a character as he's said before), he also keeps doing terrible fucking things and im really glad his actual friends have been calling him on it recently, especially after that jackbox video (which is a whole other thing on its own bc it literally seemed like nobody wanted to be there basically the entire video?? like as somebody who watched all the jackbox videos before that one, it was really fucking off in that call and the jokes were next level fucking upsetting), but sometimes it's just kinda like. exhausting. bc his community is already fucking bad now, you cant undo accidentally fostering a community of fucking racist homophobes who dont get that you're playing a character, unless you kinda drop off and build a whole new community from that, which would be stupid to do at this point in his career. not really sure where i was going with this tbh, but i thought i would chime in on this discussion as a viewer of mainly schlatt, but also a past idubbbz viewer who is basically a seasoned fucking vet at dealing with shitty fanbases because of him and many other dumb youtube white boys
(also, note on that anisa thing: ian's main fanbase was definitely pissed just bc she does sex work and a lot of them are too fucking young or just too fucking dense i guess to clock the fact that he's putting on an act bc, like i said before, they either dont watch his behind the scenes content, or they do and they kinda just miss those moments between still trying to entertain where he gets genuine. that being said, a lot of people outside of his fanbase were also pissy bc anisa is a less than spectacular lady if you really do your research on her, kind of a bad person but it's not something a lot of people know about, especially since one of the few videos made on it was by fucking creepshow art)
sorry for the rant again, i feel like i do this every other week now and i apologize, you just seem to have the best discourse and i enjoy partaking <3 hope you have a good rest of your day/night/whatever time you're reading this!
—🦷
Thank you for the input (don't mind the rant !) and I hope you have a good rest of your day too <3 For post length, I'll answer under the cut :)
Yeah, I get what you mean (I think ahdsufsd). Fandom as a concept is pretty... I don't even know how to describe it, but it's the kind of thing that I feel like white male Redditors would think of as pussy shit, y'know? Like the Ricegum gang isn't a fucking "fandom" they're a... well, a fandom, but they're not gonna admit to that. So when you step outside of a community like Tumblr (the queerest place on the internet TM) you come into contact with the faces of the fandom you're dealing with and oftentimes they're a lot less like you than you might've thought from the similar interest. It's like going to a Weezer concert and realizing you're surrounded by incels (this is a JOKE).
Satire's a rough topic because some people don't think it should exist at all. Like any words that can be directly interpreted as bigoted or problematic should not be uttered. I disagree with that, I think it's one of the most interesting forms of both social commentary and comedy, but I do see the problem. There are people who watched Filthy Frank (to take an example from that other anon) and didn't know or care what the point of his actions were (I don't know what they were tbh - I never watched him, but it sounds like he's a pretty decent dude) and instead read his jokes as-is. There are thousands upon thousands of people who aren't gonna get satire and that's a problem because if they're already bigoted they're gonna see people like Schlatt and iDubbz and whoever else as truly validating.
(Largely unrelated but yo, is iDubbz still going? Are the views alright? Is the adsense popping? Has he just kept going with Content Cops? I haven't heard about him since the girlfriend thing dropped.)
"you cant undo accidentally fostering a community of fucking racist homophobes who dont get that you're playing a character, unless you kinda drop off and build a whole new community from that"
I think this is what's pertinent when it comes to discussing Schlatt. After the Jackbox video (for me at least, he might've been there before) he put himself at a crossroads. If he'd apologized, said "sorry, I took it too far, that was a mistake" - yeah, plenty of people wouldn't have forgiven him and plenty of bigoted fans of his would've said that the apology was just to placate the snowflakes on Twitter, but to the sort of in-between people it would've shown that he's able to recognize and reconcile his mistakes. He could've transitioned into content that's A) actually good (when I say that the video was bad I don't just mean in terms of racism, I mean it straight up was not entertaining) and B) less "edgy" for the sake of. I wouldn't expect him to go uwu squeaky clean, but he's already reeled in the bad people, so if he really wanted to foster a good, progressive audience, he has to do something significant to show that.
But he didn't.
Maybe for the sake of his career, maybe because he likes those bigoted fans, maybe because he just doesn't get it - I don't know. I don't think we'll ever know. I spoke earlier about doing what is right over what is easy and in the case of Schlatt it just feels like he really did take the easy way out. Whoever he is in his personal life doesn't change how he's perceived online and the kinds of people that are idolizing him for it.
(And yeah I saw the video on Anisa when I Googled her to check if they were still dating, but then I saw who it was made by and I was like oh well whatever avhfdfkj)
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littlebabycrybtch · 4 years
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bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 
humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.
i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 
‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 
to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !
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ms-demeanor · 5 years
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I appreciate your positivity posts a lot, but there are a couple things that make me instinctively angry when i see them One, it really frustrates me that i cannot be good at everything. I know it may sound kinda stupid, but i feel jealous when i see people learning skills i know I'll never master cause they arent a priority over other skills im already working on Two, when im angry/frustrated and i see positivity, it only makes me angrier None of this is your fault, just needed to vent a little
(This post requires a table of contents)
Frustration that you can’t be good at everything - A
Frustration with positivity - B
Do I contradict myself? Kinda but not really - C
Ah-ha, but I have fooled us all - D
A
That doesn’t sound stupid at all, it actually sounds exactly like the insta-rage that I get from being bad at something or from hearing “anybody can do X.”
I know that sounds contradictory, considering that I’ve been saying “anybody can learn artistic skills with practice,” but I’ll explain in a sec.
Okay so I’m learning guitar right? Like, with all the hand-pain and dyspraxia and all I’m still giving it a go and it’s taking forever and it’s really frustrating.
It’s more frustrating because I realized I had to do it alone - if I’m practicing around people or a person is sitting next to me while I’m trying to learn a skill or get the fretting of a particular chord down or (especially this one) trying to memorize a sequence of notes and movements it’s. It’s extremely not pretty. It’s apparently very upsetting for the people who are around me when that happens.
I get furious with myself and I get frustrated because goddamnit fucking children can do this thing and I’m an adult and it’s a simple fucking sequence of five movements and I’m just getting it wrong because I’m a useless idiot.
It takes about four minutes with a guitar teacher or jamming with a friend for me to devolve into “attempt sequence > fuck sequence up > apologize > try again but now while more mad at myself > fuck it up worse > apologize > forget beginning of sequence > try really hard not to start calling myself a fucking idiot in front of a friend who really shouldn’t have to handle this.”
And when I do that it feels terrible. It feels bad, feels like my skills have regressed, makes me want to put the instrument down and not pick it up again.
The thing is, I do this with every skill that I’m learning. You should see me when I’m trying to learn a new version of some kind of software. It’s terrible. I’m at my absolute worst and lowest when I’m trying to find the new place Adobe has hidden a menu or what the new command is to format something in Word.
But here’s the deal: I know what this is when I’m doing it. This is emotional dysregulation.
Basically finding out that I have ADHD changed my life and got me to really start examining a lot of my reactions to things and the behavior patterns I’ve lived with for most of my life.
I experience an impulse to be furious when people are more skilled than I am, I AM furious when I feel like my skills aren’t where I think they should be. But neither of those things are actually good for helping me learn to do the thing and I’d much rather learn to do the thing than be angry about not being good enough at it.
I spend a fair amount of time in therapy. I have worked on recognizing when I have the impulse to do something that is going to be unhelpful or reactive and attempting to approach that impulse with other options.
That’s not easy! And it doesn’t come naturally! My first response to a lot of things is still anger or frustration or despair.
But since I *know* that’s my first impulse and I’ve learned enough about my own behavior to understand that my first impulse is frequently the wrong course of action (grounded in panic or whatever) I’ve been working on accepting that my first reaction is typically negative and moving on more quickly to other, more helpful reactions.
(this has been really fantastic for increasing my feelings of agency and control over my own life; acting on your panic response all the time isn’t good for your long term stability)
You know you can’t be good at everything, you know that it takes a long time to acquire skills. That doesn’t make it any less frustrating that you don’t have the skills that you want to have. So it’s understandable that your first reaction to the skills positivity posts would be negative, and it’s understandable if you want to sit in that negativity for a little bit.
It’s also understandable to mourn the skills that you could have had. “If I hadn’t stopped practicing guitar in my teens I could be so much better now.” “If I hadn’t had to get a job with such a long commute I could be drawing daily and I’d be so much farther along.” “If I hadn’t been discouraged by my parents I’d have had so much more practice with music.” “If I hadn’t gotten injured I’d be such a good dancer right now.”
There’s a perfect you that lives in your head and they’ve had all the opportunities you missed and got to keep practicing when you couldn’t and have all the money you don’t and sleep you keep missing. I get wanting to be that person. I get wanting what they want.
But the you in your head isn’t real and it’s sad if you’re ignoring how wonderful the real you is because you’re not perfect in the same ways.
So if you can, I’d recommend trying to see if there’s a positive response you can practice remembering when you get frustrated about your skills.
(for me it’s honestly just saying “the next best time to plant a tree is today” and remembering that I’ve got a long time to learn to do all the things I want to do. It’s not a race, and if I can’t get to something now I can try later.)
You’re great. You’re great and you’re trying hard and if you wouldn’t yell at your friend for not learning a skill or being good at something you shouldn’t yell at yourself either.
B
So when I was like, 17, I wrote a bit of poetry that went like this:
I’m a casual cynicwho prays for optimistsbut it’s hard for me to be onewhen I’m talking with my fists.
I am a very, very negative, pessimistic person. Optimism and positivity irritate the hell out of me.
The frustrating thing about positivity is that it largely feels like criticism. It feels like “if you can’t do X, Y, or Z it’s because you choose not to.”
And I sure as fuck can’t blame people for being negative. I’m negative and the world is shitty and everything is difficult and expensive. I really, really don’t think that people are choosing not to do what they want to do.
So when you hear “you can do it!” it’s a very natural response to go “yeah, easy for you to say, you don’t have a million things preventing you from doing it.”
Part of this is that your brain is a filthy liar and it thinks that skills are easy to acquire. Your brain is going “if anyone can do it and I haven’t it’s because I’m lazy and I suck.”
I would like you to remind your brain that it is a filthy liar.
(I would also like to remind people that negativity that exists to the point that generic positivity posts upset you or make you angry is a symptom of depression)
But the other thing is that you probably DO have a million legitimate things that are keeping you from Doing The Thing and when you’re seeing someone else say “Do the thing!” you’re just seeing the shiny thing, not their million things that were in the way too.
Doing shit is HARD. It’s exhausting. It involves opportunity cost. If I want to make fanart I have do dedicate time to that that gets taken away from somewhere else and you know what sometimes it’s just better for me and more in line with my desires to re-read a 100k slow-burn than it is to make a drawing of the characters.
But it’s also really important to recognize which kinds of positivity actually contain criticism.
My initial statement in the Gru comic was “Talent is bullshit, nurture your skills with practice & make the content you want to see in the world.” This was in reaction to a simply-drawn comic that expressed that you need talent to make fanart and not everybody has talent.
A lot of people have seen that as criticism.
I am. Really, really not attempting to criticize people with these posts.
But also, yeah, being told “woah, hey, just calm down” when you’re already pissed isn’t going to make anyone’s afternoon any better. And there’s not much I can do about that (and I know you don’t want me to, you said you were just venting).
C
“You hate positivity and yet you make positivity posts, interesting.”
So the brand of positivity posts I hate are the “If I can do it anyone can!” posts and here’s why:
Not everyone can be on a Roller Derby team.
Breaking my back and having to quit roller derby made me reassess a lot of my attitudes about the world.
If you point to a specific activity and say “if I can do this anyone can do this” you are wrong. There are a lot of people who aren’t going to be able to do a thing. If you say “If I can lose the babyweight within three weeks of giving birth anyone can” there are a lot of people who can’t do that thing and there is a kind of implicit criticism there. “If I can get over my scoliosis and lift weights anyone can,” is kind of saying that the people with scoliosis who can’t lift weights just aren’t making an effort.
“If I can do this anyone can” is wrong. It ignores the fact that people are all in unique circumstances and have different limitations. No, not anyone can. Not everyone can be on a Roller Derby team.
But what I’m saying in my posts isn’t “anyone can draw” it is “if you practice a skill you will improve at it, so if you want to improve at drawing you need to practice.”
And I’ve been very clear in admitting that not everyone can do this, due to time constraints and low energy and physical limitations.
The one deviation I’ve made from that is to come pretty close to saying “anyone can do art” and again, I consider that a bit different because “art” is a very broad category and I do believe that pretty much anyone can create things that I would consider art, even if that art isn’t traditional visual media. And again, any of those kinds of art would also improve with practice.
D
The joke was on all of us all along, by the way. While I’m being pretty positive about the idea of practice and the fact that it will improve people’s performance at all skill levels there’s a secret:
That Gru post isn’t so much positive about practice as it is *incredibly* negative about the concept of talent.
Talent IS bullshit. There is a variable range of innate abilities that people can have that may jump-start a particular skill but proficiency in that skill is always going to be down to practice, not talent.
Talent was made up as a cover to explain the “brilliance” of people who had armies of laborers supporting them. I bet I’d be able to invent a lot of shit if I didn’t have to do laundry or worry about whether I was going to be able to afford both food and rent next month. Talent is a myth that pairs nicely with great man theory in that it is crap and I want people to understand that sucking at things for a long time is a part of not sucking at things eventually and also that you’re going to get a lot more done working with a group of motivated people than you are if you wait for one “talented genius” to change the world.
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og-danny-dorito · 4 years
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1/2 jjba and mha & batfamily and Deadpool as match up swf and nswf if could I female and bisexual I like to pronounce she well I am funny I like dark humor + i shy but and outgoing I have bipolar disorder or something like the I am like the Pupoler loner I like to say I am artist with f the world attitude & 'm into music industry i like writing songs and sells them online I am always quite even when I am with my friends
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@adarksoul098 you sound a lot like a friend i have, but yes i have the perfect person for almost all the requests!! I hope you enjoy, and I'm sorry for not getting these in sooner!
< - - - >
I Ship You With... Joseph Joestar, Denki Kaminari, Tim Drake, and Domino!
SFW :
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- well to begin, Joseph would 100% be enamored with you upon first greeting. This is for a number of reasons, but the main ones are that you’re interested in comic books and don't take shit from other people
- but its rare (for him at least) to find women who are into comics, and most of the time they arent into the same kind as him anyway and so he can't really connect with them. You, however, match him almost to a T
- he’d love to show you his comic collection one day and maybe, if you’re alright with it, take you out sometime to go browsing for manga with him. He wants to spend all the time that he can with you, talking endlessly about your favorite characters and such
---
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- Denki is almost the same way, but with music and playing the piano. You already caught his attention from the moment you spoke to him, but knowing you’re this diverse while still being true to your dreams in selling your music? You’re the coolest MF on the planet
- hes also a really patient guy, so your bipolar disorder is something that he wants to help you work through. After a particularly bad episode he might try to comfort you and ease you a bit by either singing or distracting you while he can
---
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-  while these two cover the preceding aspects of your personality, i honestly think that Tim would be the best in understanding you
-  like you, he’s super quiet and reserved, and so when he finds out you’re the same way it's lost a relief for him. ‘Oh thank god, I wasn't being standoffish earlier since Y/n just did the same thing and she doesnt outwardly do that to people unless they deserve it.’ Sorta thing
- arguably he's also the best person out of this whole list when it comes to talking about martial arts and/or being involved since he was trained in a few different types. Chances are he's going to come up to you at random times and ask you to recall a specific technique he forgot about or spar with him (which can turn into spicy times)
---
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- Domino is also really into martial arts, although to a lesser extent. Your articulate-ness when picking who to go out with is what she relates to the most though since shes the e x a c t same way
- Domino is also super chill like 24/7 so your quiet and bold nature is p e r f e c t for her. You two can literally just sit in silence for hours and people wont understand how you communicate so well all the time
NSFW :
- It doesn't matter how serious the situation is, Joseph will almost ALWAYS find a way to make the situation goofy for no reason. Sex with him isn't usually all that serious, he's either cracking jokes or completely breathless to be honest
- But the fact that he's completely enamored with you means he will do his absolute best to please you and pretty much worships you whenever and however he can. 10/10 most enthusiastic when eating you out and arguably has the biggest dick out of all of the characters mentioned (mainly because i have a running theory that all joestars are at least moderately well-endowed due to good genetics)
- Also PLEASE sit on his face, its like his dying wish to be suffocated by your thighs no cap
---
- Denki is straight up a sadist so jot that down. He's usually leaving you quivering and begging him to touch you instead of just ending shock waves up your thighs and to your aching sex
- He usually goes with sensory play above all others since its the easiest way to use his quirk (and also the most fun) but to make up for his cruel torturing he gives great aftercare right afterwards to make up for it
- Honestly probably into bdsm (specifically bondage and sensory play) and doesn't usually let up on his torment unless you both discuss what the rules are beforehand
---
- Tim is straight up a bottom so like thats cool- he's usually super compliant and obeys whatever you ask him to do. But god PLEASE give him some praise, his damaged ego needs it
- He's pretty quiet normally but int he bedroom he's close to screaming unless you use some way to shut him up somehow. Telling him others will hear will either shut him up immediately or cause him to be louder depending on your location (public or private really, he's actually not that opposed to public sex)
- He's also super sensitive too so its not that hard to rile him up. Usually the best for following commands if you like to have a compliant sub
---
- Domino however, HUGE top always has been and always will be. Its a struggle to get this woman to bottom and even then shes super Betty the whole time just to but up a fight and get you angry at her
- She does like it when you top though, even though its easier when you bottom. Very loving but still kinda rough top when she has control in the bedroom and wont consider her job finished until you're almost passing out from exhaustion and being too satisfied
- Best one in this list to bottom for since she doesn't usually push you past your boundaries unless discussed beforehand cause shes huge on consenting for everything beforehand
[ ~Thank You For Readng, And I Hope You Enjoyed Them!~ ]
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handonshipper · 4 years
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A Twist Through Time: Chapter Three
Several hours later, the group had finally arrived in Mystic Falls. Hope had been sketching a couple of landscapes while they drove. It was pretty great, considering the fact she was in a car with regular pencils instead of artistic pencils. She wanted to talk her father. Or tell Dr. Saltzman. But Dr. Saltzman didnt even have much experience at this point. And telling her father wouldnt get her anywhere. 
Klaus parked the car in front of his mansion in Mystic Falls and stepped out of the car, opening the passenger door for Hope, as he had made Rebekah sit in the back to watch Stefan. “You are a quiet one aren’t you?” He questioned looking at Hope. “Here I thought we could have bonded over your lovely torture ideas.” He smirked. 
"I was busy sketching" Hope said, climbing out of the car, holding her sketchbook as she looked around and stepped away from the car. She wondered if her dad, as she knew him, would be proud of her trying not to change things. Not that she was doing a good job of that. "I prefer painting personally, but I sketch sometimes" she told him, holding the sketchbook. Her mind was turning as she thought about some parts of her life. The life she was forced to leave for the second time. 
Rebekah got out of the car and dragged Stefan out forcefully. She was frustrated. Both with Stefan's betrayal and Klaus putting her in the backseat while the witch got the front seat. 
Klaus looked at her curiously. What were the odds? He never truly met anyone else who was interested in art, which was why, for a moment, he was distracted from his vengeful thoughts and the plan to get the necklace. “As do I. Prefer painting I mean.” He said softly. “I mainly only sketch to plan out future paintings.” He wanted to say more, but as Rebekah spoke he was snapped out of his thoughts.
"So what's the plan, Nik? Did you plan to search for the necklace or should i?" Rebekah questioned, wanting both her necklace and to find out what was Stefan Salvatore's big secret.
“I will. And I will take Hope with me. Seeing as Mystic Falls has the very obnoxious Bonnie Bennett, it is only fair I have much more powerful witch with me as well.” He then looked at Stefan and stepped closer to him so he could compel him.  
Hope smiled a little at that before it disappeared, her mind going to the first time she had painted with him. The only time.... The first day she had met him. 
Stefan almost instinctively took a step back, but he knew it was no use. This was his punishment. And Klaus was faster and much more powerful. 
Klaus stepped closer to him. While on the outside he portrayed a smug expression, inside he truthfully just wanted Stefan to hurt after betraying him. As he look into his eyes, he spoke calmly. “Turn off your humanity. And do as I say, until I demand otherwise.” 
Elena wasn't there to help him fight it this time around. His pained eyes closed, and when he opened them again a moment later, his humanity was off. He felt free yet restrained at the same time. Restrained by his tie to what Klaus wanted and free from the guilt and the pain and the worry. 
Hope watched, feeling a bit guilty but knowing it had to be done. Everything had to happen as close as possible. Otherwise the whole future could change. And as much as the future sucked in some areas for her, she couldnt risk it getting worse. She needed to ensure she would be born. And so would the twins. 
She needed to get back to Landon. 
Klaus smirked as he watched Stefan let go of the little bit of humanity he had left when he compelled him. “Well then. Now that we have that sorted, come along Hope. Let’s find that necklace.” He settled and looked over at Rebekah. “Babysit Stefan will you? I have important matters to tend to and anyone else will simply get in the way.” 
Rebekah scowled at that and nodded, holding back remarks, before nearly dragging Stefan into the house. "Come on, Stefan" she said. Stefan chuckled softly and followed her inside. Not that he had much of a choice. She was strong. 
Hope watched them go before looking at Klaus. "Alright. Let's go then" 
Klaus watched the two in satisfaction before turning his attention back to Hope. “Right. What exactly happened when you performed the spell?” He asked curiously, wanting to get an idea on where to start looking. 
"I saw two teenage girls" Hope said, looking at Klaus. "They were both brunettes. One was black and the other had olive totoned skin. They were talking about Stefan and wondering what bad things he was doing while off with you under your influence" 
 Klaus frowned at the description of the second teenager but didn’t think too much of it. He knew Elena Gilbert was dead and Katerina took off after he let her go. “Right. Well, let’s start with the local witch, Bonnie Bennett. With the right torture methods, anyone can be made agreeable.” He smirked. 
"I dont usually torture people in my spare time." Hope said casually. "I did torture my ex boyfriend once though" She looked at Klaus. "A truth spell is always handy too. I could do one on Stefan to have him tell us who exactly he knows that has the necklace."
It wasnt much of a difference than Klaus suddenly finding Elena at least. And she wanted him to know she was on his side. He was her father after all. She loved him. Suddenly a thought occurred to her.
"While I'm trying to figure out the spell that brought me to Stefan's apartment, I plan on helping you" she said, looking at him. "And I'm not necessarily asking for anything in return. Except maybe a place to stay while I try to figure out the spell. But there is something I am looking for. A magical object. If you dont want to help me find one, I get it. I'm not only agreeing to help you if I get it. But I would appreciate it. It's a prism that lets someone talk to their subconsious. If you've ever seen or heard of one" 
Klaus felt a frown forming the more he listened to her. Ever since he met her there had been something off about her. Something he couldn’t quite place. Right now she was essentially trying to tell him how to do things, and instead of ripping her heart out, some minuscule part of him actually wanted to listen. 
Granted he ignored that part, but the fact that it was there in the first place troubled him. “I have no objection to you staying in this house. I won’t be here for a while once I find the necklace anyway. As for your magical object, I may have heard whispers of something like that. However, I cannot say I’ve come across one. Still, I see no harm in assisting you with it in my spare time. You might just be the only witch in existence who’s presence I can actually tolerate.” He snorted. “In regards to the necklace...I never said you had to partake in torture. Though it is my preferred method of interrogation.” He smirked and looked towards the house. “Especially to those who have betrayed me. Thank you for suggesting I begin with Stefan.” 
She couldnt help the small smile that formed on her face as he mentioned that he could tolerate her. Considering he didnt know her or the fact he had a child, this was touching. She knew he hadn't been fond of witches before, only using them when he needed them.
"Thank you" Hope said once he finished speaking. She really just wanted it to feel less alone here. To talk to Landon, even if it is fake. "As for the topic of betrayal, it isnt something I take lightly. The ex boyfriend I mentioned? He lured me into a trap that caused the death of my mother" She wasnt holding a grudge against him anymore. She knew it wasnt his fault. He had been brainwashed by his Nazi vampire mother. But....at the time, the betrayal had affected her strongly. So much she had closed herself off even more.
Klaus’ expression softened for a split second before it quickly returned back to normal. Sympathy and pity weren’t emotions he normally experienced, certainly not to total strangers. “My condolences then. 
For your mother. I am glad you got your revenge against that man. It may not bring her back, but at least you have the satisfaction of looking back and knowing you gave him hell just as well.” He said simply. He was silent for a few seconds, and eventually spoke again. “The necklace I am searching for is to communicate with my mother. When I was young she placed a curse on me. And now that I’ve broken it, there are certain aspects of it that aren’t exactly as they should be.”
Hope listened to him and nodded. "Thank you for telling me" she said, appreciating the information even though she already figured that out. "I will do what I can to help you figure out why things arent as they should be" Hope said softly
Klaus gave her a nod, truly surprised a stranger was willing to pledge her loyalty to him so easily while his own siblings were not. “I suppose I should thank you as well. For your assistance. It isn’t easy for anyone to do that when it comes to me. Certainly not witches. I am what the entirety of the world calls an abomination. A hybrid. Both werewolf and vampire.” 
"You're not an abomination. You're different. You're unique. But that doesnt have to be a bad thing." 
Hope said, thinking of what her mother had told her once or twice in the past. 
Klaus blinked slowly, genuine surprise clouding his features for a moment until a small, but genuine smile formed on his lips. It disappeared just as quickly, but it had been there. “I suppose I’ve never quite heard that. Especially given the fact that the curse my mother placed on me was to keep my werewolf side dormant. Now that I’ve broken it, I want nothing more than to create more of my kind. In a way...it is my revenge towards her.” At least that was part of it. The other part being of course that he didn’t wish to be alone. But he chose not to say that. 
Hope nodded at his words. She knew how it felt to be the only one of her species. She knew it felt lonely at times. Like your existence was a mistake. A random chance. And it didnt help that the witches think neither her or her father should exist
More so her than her father. "I can't even imagine what that must have been like for you, having part of yourself locked up inside." And to think she nearly let it happen to herself. 
Klaus shifted his gaze away from her and nodded. “It feels like...” He sighed softly. “Like being chained up in the smallest of cages. The more you struggle, the harder they grip at you, all while the cell closes in tighter and tighter.” He explained quietly, never having been that open with anyone about it. “It’s impossible to understand unless you have been through it, but that is the best way I can explain it. Just imagine how you would feel if your magic was suddenly taken from you. Knowing you are a witch, yet not being able to perform a single spell.” 
Hope nodded a little at that, frowning at the mere thought of her father going through it. "And you've suffered with that for a thousand years?" She said quietly. 
Klaus nodded in confirmation and slowly looked back at her. “Yes. Just a little over a thousand years. I finally broke it recently. However, when I attempted to turn werewolves into hybrids, they only died. 
Seeing as my mother created the curse, I figure she must have the answers as to why it is failing.” 
"Well, we should go find the necklace then" Hope said, looking at him, knowing they had gotten distracted from the goal by their personal talk
Klaus nodded, slowly coming back to reality. “Right. I suppose you performing that truth spell on Stefan would get us the answer quicker. I can always torture him later.”
Hope nodded and went inside the house. She went over to Stefan and casted the truth. "Did you give Rebekah's necklace to anyone?"
Stefan looked at Hope. "Yes" he said.
"Who did you give it to?" Hope questioned.
"Elena Gilbert" The vampire answered.
Klaus followed Hope into the house and watched as she performed the spell. When he heard the answer Stefan gave he blinked in surprise. “Elena Gilbert is alive?” He smirked. “Ah. Suddenly it all makes sense. 
Why you wanted to keep me away from finding the necklace.” He chuckled in disbelief. “No matter. 
Now I get to kill her twice. Luckily for me, you no longer care.”
"Wait" Hope said, looking over at Klaus. "We should find the necklace and communicate with your mother first. That should remain our priority" Especially since Elena surviving was crucial.
Klaus frowned when he heard Hope speak. Instantly his paranoid self wanted to get the best of him, but he did his best to push that feeling away. So far Hope had proven she was on his side. And he did need to get the necklace. “Fine. Though after that, I’m having Stefan rip out her heart himself.” He muttered before heading out of the house. 
Hope glanced over at Stefan before following Klaus out of the house. "Alright. So if Elena has the necklace, where would she be?" 
  “We can check her house first.” Klaus suggested knowing even if he didn’t find her there, he could always get her there by using her family. They were her weakness. Something he learned when he first met her. 
Hope nodded at his words. "Alright then. Let's go" she said, looking over at him. "Lead the way"
Klaus nodded and held out his hand to her. “We will get there faster using vampire speed.” At this point all he wanted was to get the necklace. He could leave torturing both Elena and Stefan for later.
"Alright." She said softly. Hope nodded and took his hand without hesitation, something that was unusual for Klaus. She clearly trusted him.
Klaus blinked when Hope suddenly took his hand. He stared at her, both confused and shocked for a second, not really knowing what to say. Eventually he decided his questions would have to wait. Right now finding the necklace was more important. Which was why he held her hand firmly and sped over to Elena Gilbert’s house. 
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ahahahah yeah the depression ikr
oh yeah it’s clyde *jazz hands*
oof rip my dads house has too much food he just can’t cook so once he gave me chicken nuggets for lunch three freaking days in a row. by the end i was just giving my lunch to my friend who actually likes the nuggets bc sigh
*hands u a muffin* here eat friend (don’t eat friend just eat, friend)
haha indeed it is
ms... frizzle... adopt me.... challenge.... i don’t even know what that is or how to respond to it or just what????
yeahhhh i guess same people just think i’m weird
i’m also known as “the smart one” which never really helps anything
idk about the sibling thing? it’s nice depending on your mood tbh
hehe yeah it’s weird tho that ppl who can’t do math and science “aren’t trying hard enough” but ppl who cant do art and music “it just isn’t for them”
another example of how fucked up society is
ohhhh i love chemistry that’s cool :)
same friend same
ahahaha good advice murder good but a clean shiny sword is better soooooo it’s kinda a hard choice there
hehe it’s fine we all have our days where life just sucks
oooooh tbh i love light brown hair. literally everyone i know has dark black hair so that’s so cool.
yeah, my hair is dark brown but three years ago i had it purple (which resulted in my math teacher calling me violet for the whole year, not that that’s a bad thing), and then pink
sadly no i’m just sharing a library card with my sister bc she has one for a library that actually works
and now for ur questionnnnnnnnn: *loud anticipation music*
okay my teacher literally just said “what can you do when you live in a shoe” and i sort of want to throw something at the screen. oh and now i’m getting more homework. yay *dies*
right! question: ummmmmmmm what’s ur favourite book (or series)?
*waves* adios ;)
Wat is up homie!!!
We have food but it’s all like. Frozen pasta so same deal and I’m like ewwwww I might walk into town for actual food sometime today. Then again maybe not I’m lazy.
Why thank u for the muffin!!!
Oh I was just making a joke about how I want a competent mother don’t worry about it lol
I am also the smart one which is like rip since I’m not that smart lmaooooo
It really is weird isn’t it, like I promise I’m trying my brain just doesn’t do that very well. Also math and science are usually taught in such a soul-sucking way that it’s really hard to be interested in it even if you want to be. Like ik some people are but more people would be if it was taught different.
Fuck society all my homies hate society
Chem is fun if you arent doing it virtual like I am. Like this it’s not nice at all tho :(((
Ok but consider: murder good and then clean the sword make it shiny again everyone wins (/j)
Sword maintenance is the most fun part lol i love cleaning my sword
Awwwww that’s sweet of u I like dark brown/black hair is very beautiful. My hair is nice and thick though which is fun
Oof well I’m still glad you get some books :)
Lmao is that a saying? I was unaware. It’s kinda funny though. Rip homework I still have some history to do which I do Not want to do but it’s ok I’ll do it later this afternoon.
My favorite book is The Shining Company by rosemary sutcliff it’s a medieval ballad type book but it’s pros and anyways it’s really pretty and makes me very happy. What’s yours?
P.S. thoughts on my publicly dueling someone for being a dick to one of my close friends over the group chat: yea or nay
:) until next time bro!!
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silverjirachi · 5 years
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ok so like i wanna be real with you about what being a writer/artist/anyone who posts content on the internet is like sometimes, especially from the perspective of someone who has anxiety/depression etc
so on the one hand there’s that (and this has been said before) some of this art is shared with you, not for you. sometimes we make stuff just for us, but then we post it because we’re proud of it and it made us happy and we want it to make other people happy as well.
and then this thing we make that we’re proud of that we wanted to share for other people to see seems like it falls into the silent abyss of cyberspace and no one responds and you question whether it matters at all. and suddenly the thing you shared and were proud of becomes something you question if it was really as good as you thought it was, or if rather by posting it you’re being annoying and the people who like/reblog/comment/engage with any of the things you make in any capacity are only doing it because they feel bad for you.
on top of that, then you get afraid to question/talk about it or open up about how you feel because you think it will come off as narcissitic or attention-seeking. so you stay silent and make the next thing and the same thing happens and the cycle repeats itself.
for example, those of you who watch my videos (thank you!), you probably notice that i make a lot of self-deprecating humor. part of this is just who i am as a person. but the other part is because half of the time i do actually struggle with those beliefs and the “haha this is trash content” is very real. sometimes if i’m in a really bad place i have to fight about three different internal voices telling me that i should stop because no one cares and i’m being annoying and i have a screechy voice and by sharing this i’m just reminding people how bad i am etc etc etc. i’m not saying this for you to say “oh no your content isnt trash you’re wonderful” every time i make one of those jokes or talk about this, i’m just telling you that sometimes it is what it is and i don’t need sympathy for it, it just happens, and i have to fight against it personally a lot
the same goes for writing etc etc. I dont post my art on here but from what i’ve seen lately about the HUGE gap between likes and reblogs for artists on here, i know they struggle with it as well. and some of them really need that kind of exposure because they’re trying to make art a career, they need to take in commissions and every reblog is a better chance for that to happen. we work on multiple platforms oftentimes to try to get the word out but that doesnt mean it’s always effective and that the same shit doesnt happen there too. it does. always.
then there’s the thing like... we post it online because we want it to be shared. we want it to be seen. and due to a variety of factors ranging from fucked up algorithms to just people “lurking” vs. leaving likes/comments/reblogs, sometimes or oftentimes it’s not seen and that’s for me when the questioning begins. and i ask myself if i complain about this am i annoying and begging for attention? but here’s the thing guys.. most artists dont WANT to do art in a vaccuum. If they do, they don’t share it. That’s why i don’t post a lot of my drawings. Thats more just for me. But stuff like writing and other content that I HAVE posted, and same for any writer or creator, has inherently passed that threshold. We want engagement, we want it to be seen, so yes, we want attention. And that isnt a bad thing because that art needs an audience and we want it to have one.
When we share things, we want you to see it and we want you to engage with it. We want to make you happy, we want to make you think, we want to entertain you. We want to make a difference in your life, even if just a small and momentary difference. But it is impossible for us to reach through the screen and see you. When I do live theatre, I can see and feel my audience so I can tell how they’re feeling and reacting and it’s great. But I imagine if I tried to do a one-person-show behind a one-way curtain without hearing or seeing the audience or even being able to tell if there is an audience at all, it would probably be a very different, and really sucky, experience, and that’s what posting content on the internet is like.
That’s why it makes writers’ and artists’ day when we get comments on our work. That is the only way we are able to tell that we reached through the screen. Even if it’s dumb, even if it’s incoherent, even if you think you’re being annoying, really, more often than not, the simplest comment can really make us feel that way. Because of everything I just mentioned above. All we wanna do is make you happy, entertain you, give you the joy our art gave us, and it’s scary and uncertain when you send it out there, and even more scary and uncertain when you hear little to nothing back.
I also have compared this to when I used to teach a class of 90 students. It was a gen ed theatre course and teaching it genuinely sucked ass for much the same reason. I also just get really stressed out teaching. But when you’re teaching a big class like that, you look out and see any number of faces with expressions ranging from “bored,” “on the phone,” “interested,” “awake,” to completely unreadable. And the completely unreadable ones are the worst. Posting stuff on the internet is like teaching a class full of completely anonymous, completely unreadable students.
But, in the same vein, in every class i taught, there was always a small handful of people who seemed genuinely interested in the topic. They’d raise their hands, ask questions, go above and beyond for assignments. I still think about the students in my classes from years ago who seemed like they enjoyed being there, or at the very least tried a little bit more than everyone else. They were a beacon of hope that what I was doing and saying mattered. So when I got scared of those bored, unreadable faces, I’d look to the two or three people who I knew cared, and it gave me courage to keep going. It was like I was teaching the class just for them.
Getting comments, reblogs, any equivalent of engagement on any platform is like having those interested students. When creators talk about their audience being the best part of what they do, it really is the truth. Because a lot of time everything else can be scary and uncertain and suck. And so then sometimes even when those hateful inner voices are getting the best of me, I do it for the one or two people in my class who make my day of teaching brighter when I see them. So to any of you who engage with artists, writers, and creators in any way- seriously we do it just for you sometimes, and you have no idea how much even the tiniest poke through the screen means to us.
This was a lot longer than I intended it to be but yeah I just kind of needed to get it all out of me because it’s personally been something i’m struggling with right now, and I know others do too. And again this not to say like “NEH NEH NEH WHY ARENT I GETTING ATTENTION” but just to be upfront about what it’s like so that you on the other side of screen understand that you do make a difference and can also have a positive effect on our lives, the same way we want to have one for you.
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