#like ow my feelings--and it wasn't even directed at me

[mieisunki]

wanna attention

alt: when enhypen wants attention from you

ot7 x female!reader warnings: fluff i feel like jay's is soo much shorter than the rests, but his is my favorite...

masterlist

heeseung:

heeseung was a wild card. sometimes, he was completely okay if you weren't able to show him attention. he understood completely that sometimes you were busy. other times, he was similar to jake in a way that he wouldn't let you do anything without him.

today was the later of those. as soon as he stepped through your door, he was attached to your side like a magnet. normally you didn't mind, but today was the day you were supposed to go out with some friends for lunch. he was devastated when you told him this.

you told him you wouldn't be more than a couple of hours, and he was more than welcome to stay at yours until you got back. and while he didn't say anything, you could tell he wanted you to stay with him. the whole time you were getting ready he was at your side, arms draped over your shoulders and his head nestled in your neck.

you made him sit on the bed while you got dressed, and as soon as you stepped out of your closet, his hand grabbed your wrist. with one soft pull, you landed in his lap. his arms tightened around you, preventing you from moving.

"you're so pretty." he complimented you, kissing your exposed shoulder. "my pretty girl who's trying to leave me."

you laugh at his words. "it's just for a few hours."

"that's practically a lifetime." he whined, looking at you with his big eyes. "please stay with me."

you let out a sigh, never being able to say no to him. especially when he begged you. you moved your hands, pinching his cheeks and making him pout before kissing him. you felt him melt into your kiss, chasing your lips when you pulled away. "i'll tell them something came up. but you owe me food."

"deal, pretty girl." he beamed at your decision even though he knew what you were going to agree before pulling you into another kiss. "i love you."

"i love you too, you big baby."

rest under the cut

jongseong:

jay is one of the members that, while loving your attention, can function completely fine if it's not on him. he understands that you have your life and he has his, and you're not going to be able to give him attention 24/7.

but the one time that goes out of the window is in the morning. it's the one time that neither one of you have to worry about your lives, and can just be in each other's embraces without worrying about anything.

so when he woke up, and you weren't in bed, he lost his mind.

"baby?"

"yeah." you peak your head out from the bathroom. you see him pouting at you- hair in all directions. his eyes heavy with sleep. he pats the bed next to him.

"why aren't you in bed?"

"i just had to use the bathroom. i'll be out in just a second." your answer apparently wasn't good enough because you heard shuffling before jay joined you in the bathroom. "really jay?"

"your seconds up." your legs wrap around his waist as he pick you up and carries you back to bed. he puts you back in bed before joining you, immediately wrapping his arms around you tightly, so you couldn't go anywhere. you couldn't help but smile at his actions as you relax in his embrace. he pressed a kiss to your shoulder before falling back asleep- you following right after him.

jaeyun:

clingy boy #1. jake is the most affectionate member, so he demands your attention almost around the clock. if you are at the same place, he is going to be near you the whole time- no exceptions.

he had just got done with promotions and was spending some much needed time resting at your place. you had spent the whole day in his arms, but for some reason, he was being extra clingy. you had to practically pry his hands off of you so you could go the the bathroom by yourself.

even though you were happy jake was with you, you still had chores to do around the house. so when he fell asleep while you were watching a movie, you took your chance to do some laundry. big mistake.

"yn!" you jump, dropping the basket of clothes when you hear jake yell at the top of his lungs for you. once you recover from the scare, you laugh to yourself, deciding to stay quiet to see what he does. you can hear him stomping around while looking for you. "where's my girl?"

you had just pulled the lid to the washer down when you heard the door creak open. you weren't even able to turn around before you were tackled in a hug. jake pressed a overly obnoxious kiss on your cheek. "there you are. why didn't you answer me?"

"i was busy." you answer, freeing your arm so you could turn on the washer. once the washer started going, you turned around to your pouting boyfriend. "there, i'm all yours."

he beamed down at you, pressing kisses all over your face until you were laughing and pushing him away. not like you could go far with the grip he had on you. "good. because i hear the couch calling our names."

"oh do you now?" he nodded his head at your question.

"you don't hear it? yn. jake. come cuddle. i miss you." you roll your eyes at his behavior, though you secretly loved it. you motioned to the door, giving in to what he wanted.

"lead the way."

sunghoon:

sunghoon is another one of the members that wouldn't seek out your attention very often. don't get him wrong, he does love when your attention is on him, but he's not craving it as much as others (ahm... jake).

on the rare chance that you're not giving him attention and he wants it, you know instantly that he does. he doesn't say anything. he'll just stare at you. you can be doing something in the kitchen when you feel his eyes on you from where he's sitting in the living room.

most of the time, you stop whatever you're doing and go over and join him. but there are some times that you like to tease him. you'll pretend like you don't feel him staring at you while you keep doing whatever your doing.

once he realizes that you aren't going to come to him, he'll go to you. you'll smile to yourself when you get up from his seat out of the corner of your eye. when your back is turned to him, his long arms wrap around your body. his head rests on your shoulder as he clings to you.

"hi, hoonie." you greet him before going back to your task. you don't get very far before his hands are tugging your waist, pulling you away from whatever you were doing. you turn back to look at him. "what do you need?"

"you." and how can you resist that? you lean up, pressing your lips to his in a sweet kiss before holding out your hand. he immediately accepts, wrapping his fingers around yours before pulling you back to the couch where he will keep you in his arms for the next few hours.

seonwoo:

sunoo is a mixture between jay and jake. while he does understand that you can't always show him affection, he still finds himself pouting when he wants attention and you're not giving it to him. today was one of those days when all he wanted was your attention.

you had exams coming up, so all of your free time went to studying. sunoo knew this when he came over. he promised he would leave you to study- he just wanted to be near you. but just being near you wasn't good enough anymore.

you honestly didn't expect him to last as long as he did, so you weren't surprised when you felt his arms wrap around your shoulder after a few hours of him being there. "hi, my sun."

"hi, my baby." he mumbled, face smushed in the crease of your neck. "i miss you."

you let out a small laugh. "i've been here the whole time."

"it's not the same." he flushed.

"if you wanted some attention, you should've just asked." you tell him. "i don't mind taking some breaks for you."

his head popped up from your shoulder so fast- eyes bright in excitement. "really?"

and that's how you ended up spending the rest of the afternoon binge watching your guys favorite show. it wasn't fully sunoo's fault. as soon as you laid your head on his chest, you knew you weren't moving anytime soon.

jungwon:

clingy boy #2. this boy loves your attention. he craves it. still not as bad as jake though. most of the time though, you give him all the attention he wants. on the off chance you're not and he wants it, be prepared because he will not let you go.

you were getting ready to go the the grocery store when jungwon entered your apartment. once he realized you were getting ready, he stood in the doorway with a pout on his face. "where are you going?"

"i need groceries." you answer, giving him a kiss before moving to finish getting ready.

"can i come with you?"

"of course, wonnie."

so here you were, shopping for food with your boyfriend glued to your side- literally. he was holding the basket with one hand, and the other one was wrapped around your shoulder- preventing you from going more than 2 inches away from him. the only time he let go of your shoulder was when you needed something from a higher shelf.

once you told him you had everything, he had you in line faster than you could blink. you look up at him with a teasing smile. "is there a reason why you want to go home so bad?"

he rested his head on your shoulder, so he could whisper in your hear. "i want cuddles."

"what was that?" you hummed. "i couldn't hear you."

"yn..." he whined your name, no liking your teasing. you turn around, kissing his pouting lips before smiling.

"i'm just messing with you. we'll cuddle as soon as we get home. but you have to put up the groceries."

he smiled, giving you another kiss. "deal."

riki:

riki was similar to sunghoon. most of the time, your attention was already on him, so he never had to ask for it. but today, you had just gotten a new book, and had refused to put it down since you got it.

riki watched you read, hoping you would catch on that he wanted your attention. but you didn't. you just kept on reading- forgetting he even existed (his thoughts not yours).

he then tried a new technique. he sat next to you with a huge sigh. "what does that book have that i don't?"

"what do you mean?" you chuckle, knowing exactly what he means. you stop reading, but you don't look up at him- loving when he acts like this.

"you haven't even looked at me since you got it." you finally looked over at him. his eyes brightened as he met your gaze.

"are you starving for my attention?"

"well, i wouldn't say starving..." he scratching the back of his neck- face flushing pink. you closed your book before leaning over and pinching his cheek. he swatted your hand away. "stop that."

"stop what, ki? i'm giving you attention." you laughed as he glared at you. you leaned back in your seat, opening your arms for him. he smiled before laying on top of you. you ran your hands through his hair when he laid his head on your chest. "better?"

"much."

[trainer-from-unova]

three is a crowd

𖤐 english ao3 𖤐 spanish ao3 𖤐 edits 𖤐

ship: geta/f!reader/caracalla

summary: where both emperors want to marry you, and they will

a/n: english isn't my first language

cw: none

word count: 1.1k

It was a calm sunny morning, there wasn't a cloud in sight in the sky and the birds were singing and flying back and forth over the trees of the villa. A young girl was sitting on a bench, quietly embroidering when her mother's voice at the other end of the inner courtyard caught her attention, causing her to look away from her handiwork and crane her neck to turn in her direction.

She was far enough away that she couldn't quite hear what she was saying, but she knew she wasn't talking to herself — beside her and looking in her direction were two men, one taller than the other but both with red hair. And although she hadn't (yet) had the (bad) luck to see them many times, she would recognise them everywhere. How could she not? Her eyes widened like plates and she turned almost without thinking, craning her neck again but pinning her gaze to the ground, processing the moment. Still staring at the ground she could feel their eyes on her, and for a second she froze. It didn't take much intelligence to know what they were doing there — she was one of the most powerful women in all of Rome and therefore desired by many suitors behind her, but she never thought she would attract the attention of the emperors.

She remembered what the streets had been saying about them lately: that they were moving heaven and earth to change the marriage law and marry both of them to the same woman. She remembered talking about the juicy gossip days before with her best friend, and joking that it was bad enough to have one husband you didn't love without having two, and more so if it was those two in particular. Were the gods mocking her for having mocked the poor wretch who had supposedly been the "lucky" one to have the favour of both of them days before? She knew they were out to get her and she also knew that, whether she liked it or not, she had to be obedient and polite, so she left her embroidery on the bench and crossed the courtyard to them, praying that the change in the law was only a rumour and that if she really had to marry it would only be to just one of the two.

"Emperors, it is a pleasure to see you again," she said kneeling subtly on her knees with a sweet but false smile on her lips. "Remember me?" She asked looking at both of them.

"How could we not?" asked Emperor Geta.

"The pleasure is all ours," said Emperor Caracalla, scanning her up and down with his typical playful, almost wicked look and smile. Emperor Geta simply grabbed one of her hands to kiss it, and the other was quick to do the same at the same time with the missing hand, creating a scene that would be comical were it not for the fact that she was co-starring with them in particular.

"To what do we owe this pleasant surprise?" She asked everyone present when they had finished greeting her, wanting to confirm her suspicions as soon as possible.

"We have come to make a proposal of marriage," reported Emperor Geta smiling in the same manner as his brother but more covertly.

Neither wanted to marry the young woman for love, for they hardly knew her nor to benefit from her brilliance, for they shone even brighter, but they wanted to do it so that no one else would. If she married an important senator with her nobility and blood, her new husband was likely to threaten their position. They simply wanted to prevent others from marrying her, but they had to share her benefits to be on the same level as each other and unfortunately they could not divide her in two for each of them, so they abused their power to change the law so that they could both marry her.

"Me?" she asked nervously.

"Who else?" asked Caracalla.

"My mother here is still well preserved in spite of her age, as you can see," she said pointing to her, making her blush and making all present laugh. "And may I know who my future husband will be?"

"Both," replied Emperor Geta.

"Both of you?" She looked at the two of them, surprised at the confirmation of the rumours and her earlier suspicions, and even more nervous and unable to stop herself from feigning a smile. She knew that if she married one she could not avoid being close to the other, but to be married to both at the same time was too much, and seemingly impossible. "Is that even possible?"

"Now it is," the taller one replied.

She was so surprised, nervous and confused that she couldn't think straight or formulate words, so not wanting it to ruin the moment and change the emperors' minds about the marriage proposal, her mother decided to intervene.

"My daughter is so happy that it's hard for her to speak."

"That's normal," said Caracalla.

"It's not every day that one is lucky enough to marry two emperors," said Geta looking smiling at his future wife, and as she felt his gaze on her, she couldn't help but stop dissociating and return his gaze.

Both made her nervous, but for different reasons; she felt that Geta saw right through her no matter how well she acted, and that Caracalla wasn't in his right mind. Not wanting to spend another second with them considering she would soon be living with them under the same roof, she decided to open her mouth to say:

"If you'll excuse me I'll leave, I'm so happy I'm feeling a bit unwell" and she wasn't partly lying, she did feel unwell and needed to leave.

After that everyone around her tried to cheer her up, saying that she was a lucky woman, that she would have more power and that she would go down in history as the first empress to marry two emperors at the same time, but that mattered little to her. The only thing that cheered her up was the idea that she would be left alone after becoming pregnant and having to rest so that the baby in her womb could be formed and born healthy, but then the question arose — who would be the father? As much as they wanted to share her, they couldn't both get her pregnant at the same time, and the first-born would rule the empire in the future. A part of her was looking forward to the wedding night to stop suffering from the nerves that ruled her body and mind even though she didn't want to live that moment.

a/n: And then on the wedding night they blindfold you and don't know who fucks you. The end. I wish I could write the smut but I can't and I swear I really really really tried but my personal life has been a mess lately.

[nerdygirlramblings]

Off to See the Wizard (8)

previous | next

cw: poorly attempted accents

Soap offers to walk you back to the barracks after dinner, and you can't bring yourself to tell him no. You've put in more than a full 12 hours, and can't find a way to use your office as an excuse. When he suggests joining the others in the rec room, you tell him you'd prefer a quiet evening alone. You hope he understands and takes the message back to the rest of the team. He's given you a lot to think about, and all you want is some quiet to parse through it and your own feelings.

Three heads whip in his direction as Soap comes through the rec room doors. Gaz immediately notices he's alone while Ghost watches the door for another moment, hope in his eyes that's dashed as Soap shakes his head.

"Sit rep?" Price asks.

Soap shrugs and responds, "Tol' 'er Ah cared for 'er. She asked about las' night, about yoo and me," he motions between himself and Ghost, "bein' close, so Ah said Ah cared for ye too. She got a real funny look on 'er face, so Ah said Ah thought mah heart was big enough for more than one. Dinnae ken 'ow she took it cuz she went quiet after."

Price sighs heavily, running his hand over his face. "Well, it wasn't how we planned to tell 'er, but it was a good call, Soap." He eyes the other man. "Did ya mention me 'r Gaz when ya talked about yer big heart?"

Soap shakes his head quickly. "No' at all. Could see she was struggling wi' me carin' for her an' Si. Didnae wanna make it worse."

Price's head falls back against the recliner. He takes a deep breath and huffs it out. Then he looks at Gaz. "We're down to four days, Garrick. Don't know if ya wanna try tonight or wait, but we're still countin' on ya to close this." His eyes rake over his lover. "Soap laid the groundwork after last night's disaster, but it's up to you to make her see wha' we have an', more importantly, wha' we want."

One of the first emails you see the next morning is from Laswell. She's asking you to meet with one of her contacts at a location off base. You're glad John told you where to get the bus into town, but you don't know the town well enough to know where this location is. You debate trying to find one of your the boys for help, but between movie night and Soap's confession, you're not quite sure what to say to any of them.

You did some digging on your personal device, using untraceable proxies, to learn more about having multiple partners at the same time. You came across the phrase polyamory, which seems to fit what Soap was hinting at, but you're not sure. And you definitely don't feel confident asking.

Like any other problem you can't solve, you're putting this one off to the side for now to focus on other things. Like how to get to the meeting location.

In the end, you find Corporal Avery and ask her where you should go. She's able to provide you a rough map of town including where the bus will let you off and how to get to your location. She offers to accompany you, and when you worry she'd get in trouble, she says, "Can say it's part of my official duties per Captain Price's orders, ma'am." She smiles big, and you remind yourself to lean on her for company when the 141 are gone. But you decide to head to the meeting alone. You don't know who this contact is, and with Kate, their personal information might be classified or confidential in some way. You can't bring Corporal Avery for the safety of whomever you're meeting, a thought that leaves quite quickly when you step into the cafe two hours later to see it empty of everyone except the girl behind the counter and Kyle.

You look around, waiting for someone else, someone you don’t know, to make an appearance. Instead it’s simply Kyle who smiles big and waves you over. You stop just short of his table. “What are you doing here, Kyle?” You work to keep your tone level, curious, not accusatory.

“Asked Laswell for a favor. Needed ta see you, Oz,” he tells you. “You’re avoiding us.” There’s no pretense, no hiding. It’s unlike him to be so blunt.

“I’m doing my job, Kyle,” you say. “The one Laswell sent me to do to help you.”

Kyle stands and pulls out the other chair at his table for two, clearly indicating you should sit. “What yer doin' isn’t helping us, doll," he says softly.

You rear back. “Not helping?!?” you whisper hiss, sitting down. You lean over the table, masking your hurt with anger. “What the hell does that mean?”

Kyle quickly sits to join you. “Shit, no, that’s not what I mean,” he rushes out. He runs a hand down his face and mutters under his breath.

You shift back, annoyed, trying to get as far from him as you can while staying at the table. “Excuse me?” You cross your arms and don whatever armor you can for what seems like a rather unpleasant confrontation in the middle of the Costa. “If I’m not helping, maybe Laswell should send someone else.”

You can’t believe you’d been so excited about finally meeting your the boys. You refuse to cry, but this conversation needs to end quickly if you’re going to keep from balling your eyes out.

“Oz, doll…” Kyle trails off, mouth opening several times as he tries to pull his thoughts together. “This is harder than I thought it’d be,” he admits wearily. He tries to catch your eye but can’t match your glare. “We don’t want someone else. We want you.” He reaches for your hands, and despite how much you want to hold onto anger, you know it’s your heart you're trying to protect.

But that traitorous organ can't resist, so you timidly slip one hand in his. Kyle grips it like a lifeline. “We want you, Oz. No one else is better at this job than you.” You both know he’s stretching things a bit as Laswell is clearly better suited to this than you, but she can’t be in all places. It’s what she trusts you for.

You take a shaky breath. “I think I need you to explain it to me, then, Kyle. If you want me here, if you don’t want or trust someone else to do this job, then how is it I’m not helping?”

“Yer amazing at what ya do,” Kyle quickly replies. “But ignoring us isn’t helping us.” He must see the confusion on your face because he adds. “Yer helping the mission, but ya aren’t helping us.” He widens his eyes at the end, trying to tell you something, but you can’t figure it out.

You shake your head and are about to tell him you don’t understand when he squeezes your hand in his and asks you to look at him. “Doll, we want you. Not for the mission but for us.”

You know you must look ridiculous because you gape at him for several long moments in which he says nothing, does nothing. He waits for a reaction. You can see the tension in his shoulders, and he still has both of his hands wrapped around yours, but he doesn’t push, and he doesn’t clarify.

You think about what Soap revealed at dinner last night. About Simon’s outright declaration. About John’s not-so-subtle pick-up line. About Simon and Kyle and Soap practically cuddling on the couch. About John and Kyle’s kiss. The pieces are there, but your brain refuses to believe it. “Are you saying you and…” you trail off, not sure where this thought is actually going.

“Me and Ghost and Soap and the captain, yes,” he says, helping to refocus you.

“Are you saying you’re all together?” He nods. “In…in…in some kind of polyamorous thing?” Kyle admits he isn’t sure because he doesn’t know what polyamorous is, never felt like he needed a label for how he feels about the others. “So you’re all together together. And you all want me?” It’s almost too much for your brain to comprehend.

"Yes." Kyle says it so simply, as though his declaration makes every bit of sense. "'s been you fer us fer a long time. Only you."

He looks at the table where his hands are wrapped around yours and says the next so quietly you can almost pretend you don't hear it. "We weren't meant to be together. Not like tha'. We're supposed to be task force. A fighting force. A killing force." He shrugs, almost lost in his thoughts. "Somewhere along the way, tha' changed. I can't speak fer the others, but I never expected any of it. I never expected to be involved with my superiors. Never thought I'd love these men as anything more than Brothers in arms. But it happened. And now it's us. Us against the bad guys. Us against the world. Us watching one another."

He takes a deep ragged breath. And then he looks at you, looks right through to the very heart of you. "Then you came along. And you watched our backs. And you kept us company on those long, lonely nights. And you made sure we were safe. That we were making it back to one another whole. So yeah, it's you, Oz. We thought we were enough, but yer the peace we're missing. And if we're too much, if we read this wrong, then we'll just go back to what it was before. But we needed to let you know what we want before we go off on this mission where we might not all come home."

series masterlist | main masterlist

~~

Taglist: @blackhawkfanatic @starriestarlight @grayskel @mxtokko @imjustheretofightforlove @miss-vanta-likes-to-write @thriving-n-jiving @madsothree @silly-starfish @danielle143 @beelzebee @nova-willow-541 @alchemyfreak321 @lilynotdilly @eternallyelvish @viylikescats @erintaro @hidden-treasures21 @lil-writer-523

[astralis-ortus]

i'll keep you in a photograph

✱ crush!sm x fem!reader

— it's just a silly little crush.

w.count → 2.5k genre → romance warning → minor cussing, appearances by other 4/8 skz and itzy's ryujin, menace lee know in action, also no use of y/n whatsoever at all a.n → time to celebrate because we're finally debuting a seungmin fic!🎊 i wasn't even planning for the fic to be this long, but i guess it is what it is, lol. also! do let me know if you would like a part 2 to this fic! ⋆ if you're enjoying my stories, do send me a ko-fi ⋆ see masterlist

you've never been much of a sports fan in the first place.

the burning ambition, loud cheers, and massive crowds—it's just simply not your thing. really, you have nothing against the people who loves sports, but if given the choice between a vip ticket to the next biggest sports match and a week-long, peaceful getaway at the countryside,

you would absolutely chose the latter in a heartbeat.

hence,

with that image of you in mind,

imagine the surprise amongst your group of friends when you told them that in your right mind, with zero drops of alcohol flowing in your blood, you had stepped in to be one of the volunteer game photographer for your campus' next baseball game.

"i don't believe you," felix shook his head, golden locks swaying in unison, "what do you mean you just want to? you don't even like going to popular cafes—how are you supposed to deal with a baseball crowd? do you even know how massive that game would be?"

"pretty sure someone forced her," ryujin sighed, lines between her eyebrows still clearly visible beneath the stray strands of hair as she faced hyunjin on her right, "told you those people at the photography club seemed suspicious. why didn't you listen and joined with her? they won't be able to take advantage of her like this if you're there!"

"guys—"

"why is it my fault?" hyunjin protested, quickly pointing his manicured nails in your direction, "she's the one who signed up to the club without any of us knowing! it's not like i didn't want to join the club too—they already closed the form before i could try signing up!"

"hey—"

"you could've gone earlier!"

"how am i supposed to know?"

"you could've—"

"guys!"

the bickering between the two immediately ceased as the three pair of eyes now locked in your direction, visibly surprised at the tone of your voice. to be fair, you do understand why your friends are acting the way they are, but god, they're starting to sound more like a couple of overprotective parent and a childish sibling at this point.

"no one forced me, i promise," you sighed, quietly fidgeting with your fingers under the cafeteria table. you do admit it's far too weird for you to be doing all this, but you have your reason. "i'll be fine, you don't have to worry about me too much. i'll be okay."

"besides," you quickly continued upon noticing the persisting worry in your friends' eyes, "it's about time i start doing new stuff like this. i don't want to feel like i'm wasting my last years as a student and graduate with regret. okay?"

only then does your friends' eyes seem to soften, worry now replaced by relief.

"if you say so," felix became the first one to smile, hand gently patting your shoulder, "but don't go overboard with it, okay? try to go to the practice sessions first so you could gauge the situation for game day."

"felix's right," both hyunjin and ryujin added at the same time, quickly glaring at each other before focusing back at you.

"i can go with you to the practices," ryujin volunteered, frown lines already replaced with a beaming smile, "i happen to know one of the assistant coach, he'll let us watch if i ask him!"

"pretty sure you just want to see that legendary pitcher—ow!" hyunjin quickly rubbed out the sting from ryujin's slap on his shoulder, and between her glare, hyunjin's protest, and felix's laugh,

no one seemed to notice the faint shade of blush, slowly creeping on your cheeks.

the fresh spring air of seoul eagerly fills your lungs—quietly reminding you of a distant memory when life was nothing more than running around the field of your grandparents' countryside home. you might be a quiet kid, but that never stopped you from exploring every nook and cranny you could find around the vicinity of the well-maintained traditional house.

today, however,

you're planning on making a new memory for yourself.

as it turns out, ryujin does actually know the assistant coach for the campus' baseball team. chris, as he introduced himself, is also a personal trainer at the gym ryujin frequents, explaining the unexpected connection—much to hyunjin's dismay, though, who was really looking forward for a new reason to tease ryujin. both you and felix could only shook your heads, each wondering when (or if) the two will ever stop bickering with each other.

the first few practice session you attended with ryujin was a lot more fun than you had expected it to be. maybe it was ryujin's friendliness that helped lowered the players' guards down around the new faces watching, but everyone seemed very welcoming to the addition of you and your camera around the perimeters of the field.

you, on the other hand, also got to learn about where and when to snap the best pictures, along with the terms to help you understand better about whatever is going on in the field during the game. had felix not popped the idea to watch these practice sessions, you probably won't be able to do your best for the upcoming game day, and you definitely will need to treat your friends to some chicken and beer later as a thank you.

for today's practice round, however,

you're left all alone.

you don't blame ryujin—she has her own class related stuff to tend to, and besides, her coming with you for the first few times were already more than enough. you've grown far more comfortable being around the considerably sized crowd and you know your ways around the place should you need some time away, but all in all, you know you're doing a lot better now, thanks to ryujin's help.

"oh, you're here!" chris were the first one to spot you, waving with his dimpled smile on display, "ryujin told me you'd be on your own today. will you be okay?"

"of course," you mirrored the older's smile, finally standing next to the casually dressed assistant coach at the edge of the field, "she's too worried, but i'll be fine. it's not like i'm the one running around, hitting the balls anyway."

chris cracked a laugh at your joke, relieved that you don't seem to be as tense as you were when he first met you. "well that's great, then," he hummed in content, smiling in your direction, "feel free to walk around the usual space, today's practice won't be as hard the ones before so you should be able to get better shots."

and surely, you did.

like the usual round, chris had to monitor the practice and hence, you're left to explore the media pit on your own. you greeted some of the players you've gotten acquainted with while they wait for their turn, and you also managed to snap some new shots to submit to the campus website and journalist club. it might be a volunteer event, but hey, you have to be strategic with your portfolio, right?

"at this rate, your crush might as well be broadcasted from the speakers, you know."

the sudden voice coming from your left nearly made you drop your camera.

"what crush?" you throw a protest—albeit sounding more like a squeak—at minho, the other assistant coach you've gotten acquainted with through your time at the field. "i'm just doing my job here," you continued, shaking your head before again raising your camera,

while also attempting to mask the rising tempo of your heartbeat.

"you can't fool me like you fool the others," minho chuckled, lips tugged into a lopsided smile while he crossed his arms in amusement, "i can clearly see where your lenses are pointed, so there's really no use in lying to me."

crap.

"you're just saying nonsense to bother me," you huffed, trying to keep your cool behind the camera while attempting your best to hide the flush on your face from minho. even if you're about to get your cover blown, you'd rather not get it done by the menace that minho is.

sure, it hasn't been long since you've been introduced to minho, but for reasons only god and minho himself knows, the guy seems to just weirdly pick on you out of the blue and as it turns out, he's quite a psychic too.

"well then if that's not the case," minho shrugged, quietly extending a palm at you, "can i see the pictures you've taken today?"

"no!"

and only after you saw the maniacal smirk plastered across minho's face as you clutched the camera close to your heart that your realized,

your cover is blown.

[ weeks ago ]

honestly, you don't think you'll be joining any clubs this year.

it's not that you don't want to—you actually do, considering you're the only one of your quartet who still hasn't really decided on anything to do outside of your classes, but nothing seems to be piquing your interest just yet.

staring down at your phone, you're trying to find your last resort—the photography club. to be fair, you're not a major photography geek in the first place. yes, you do like taking pictures and you do go out of your way to learn the basics of photography, but that's about it. despite everyone telling you that you're good at it, you've never viewed photography as something more than just a hobby.

"it should be—ow!"

the sudden force against your shoulder sent your phone straight to the hard surface of your campus building's floor, inviting several gasps to be heard between the decorated walls—including one of your own.

"shit—i'm really sorry, are you okay?"

before you could even react, a hand had reached for your phone and quickly dusted the screen off before offering the device back to you. "i'm really sorry about this, i'm in a bit of a hurry and i wasn't looking. are you okay? is your shoulder alright?"

in all honesty? no, you're not okay.

"yeah, it's okay. i'm at fault too," you grimaced, noting the dull ache on your shoulder while reluctantly grabbing your phone, hoping for the safety of your screen, "i'm so—"

any remaining air left in your lungs seemed to get caught in your throat as soon as your eyes found the pair staring right at yours, catching you off guard. even under the navy ballcap he's wearing, the depth of his eyes had successfully lured the remaining pieces of rationale beyond you.

"look," he continued, snapping you out of your trance, "i'm in a hurry right now, but if by any chance i accidentally broke your phone, you can come find me today at the baseball field at 5pm and i'll take full responsibility. sounds good?"

your head had nodded even before you could even entirely process what just happened to you—were you just bewitched by a guy in a navy ballcap?

"alright, good," the figure finally broke out a smile, already taking his steps to the direction opposite of yours, "thank you! i appreciate it!"

and just as you realized you haven't gotten the mysterious guy's name, you caught a glimpse of the small embroidered name at the back of his jacket before he disappeared at the end of the hallway.

kim seungmin.

[ present day ]

you're so going to kill minho.

after the stunt he pulled off earlier, it didn't take you a second to take off from his crime scene, tightly holding your pandora's box of a camera while you try and find a spot to hide from minho—but most importantly, from seungmin.

you know seungmin probably won't realize that you were gone, but the horror that minho might've spoiled your little secret to seungmin himself made you a little bit nauseous.

in your defense, you weren't expecting anything to happen between you and seungmin. sure, you joined the photography club solely because you've seen their coverage during previous baseball season and were hoping you could be one of the people to document seungmin's journey as a u-league player, but that's it.

it was just a silly little crush—nothing more.

"uh, hey."

the speed it took you to look at the figure standing across nearly got you to pull a muscle—and if it wasn't enough, the fact that seungmin is indeed the owner of the voice calling out to you were ready to be the cherry on top.

"minho hyung told me to give this to you as an apology," he offered a can of coffee, smiling at you depite being visibly unsure about what he's currently doing. "i thought he should've gave this to you himself but, you know, minho hyung is… yeah, he can be kind of weird."

you couldn't help but laugh at seungmin's comment, accepting the surprisingly warm can as you shrugged, "he is weird. thank you, though, for giving me this in his stead. you didn't have to."

"don't mention it," seungmin smiled—and again, your heart skipped a beat. "i'm on my way too, anyway. it's cool."

"on your way?" you questioned, words already rolling off your lips even before you could process your own thoughts. to be fair, the spot you ran away to were exactly the opposite of the baseball fields' exit gate—which doesn't make sense, if seungmin were on his way out.

"sorry—i didn't mean to pry," you quickly backtracked before seungmin could answer, already preparing to leave the shaded bench you've been staying at for the past 40 minutes or so. "i think i better leave. thank you again for—"

"wait!"

your eyes doubled in size when seungmin stepped in your way, preventing you from moving further. it seemed like he's also surprised at himself, judging from the way his eyes had mirrored yours.

"i, uh," clearing his throat, you noticed the hesitance in his face before seungmin then pointed at the phone in your hand, "is your phone working just fine? nothing broke?"

…oh.

oh?

"you… remembered?" you took a step back, nearly tumbling back at the bench had seungmin not grabbed your wrist, equally as surprised as you are. only after you convinced him that you're okay is when seungmin willingly dropped his hold on your arm.

"well, of course i remembered," seungmin nervously chuckled, subconsciously rubbing his nape, "i was the one who sent your phone flying, so… i feel responsible. i mean i was glad you didn't came that day since it meant your phone was okay and i've actually been meaning to ask since i realized it was you who came to take our pictures, but…"

you quietly anticipated between the pause, granting seungmin the time to explain as he shrugged and continued,

"i kind of feel like a creep if you didn't remember me since i realized i didn't actually give you my name that day."

so he did realize…?

frankly, it felt like your brain is short circuiting—so seungmin remembers you? why? was he just curious about your phone? was he waiting for you to come? why would he feel like a creep? what is happening right now?

"and since i didn't get to give you my name that day," seungmin continued, eyes reflecting a newfound determination amidst the persisting worry,

"can i get your number this time?"

©️ astralisortus, 2024. | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated♡

[loveharlow]

I can’t stop thinking about bestfriend!JJ being super angry because you kissed Rafe at a a party when you were drunk!!

boy he'd be friggin, friggin PISSED (do y'all ever get my tik tok references or do you just think i'm ill? LMAO)

The throbbing in your head was a dull echo of the chaotic mess you'd made the night before. Tequila shots, bad decisions, and apparently, a lip-lock with the last person on earth you should have touched. Just the thought sent a fresh wave of nausea rolling through your frame.

JJ hadn’t said a word when you'd stumbled back to the Chateau in the pre-dawn hours, Sarah practically carrying you. He’d just looked at you, his usual easy grin replaced by a tight, unfamiliar line around his mouth, before disappearing out the back door. That silence was worse than any shouting match.

The back screen door slammed, jolting you from your miserable contemplation on the porch swing. You didn't need to turn around to know who it was. The heavy tread of his boots on the wood, the way the air seemed to thicken with a sudden tension – it could only be JJ.

He stood there for a long moment, his shadow stretching across the porch, before finally speaking. His voice wasn't loud, but it was rough, the easygoing tone you loved so much was completely absent. "So," he began, each syllable weighted. "You gonna tell me what the hell happened last night?"

You finally turned, your stomach twisting into knots at the sight of him. His eyes, usually bright and full of mischief, were clouded with something you couldn't quite decipher – hurt, maybe? Disappointment? It was a look you never wanted to see directed your way, especially not from him.

"JJ, I..." The words caught in your throat, thick with shame and the lingering taste of cheap tequila. How could you even begin to explain the inexplicable? "I was drunk, I did a lot of things I shouldn't have..."

He took a step closer, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his cut-off shorts. "Rafe," he stated flatly, the name sounding like a curse on his lips. "You kissed Rafe. Rafe Cameron. You tellin' me you were too drunk to remember that?"

The bluntness of his words hit you like a physical blow. You winced, closing your eyes briefly. "No, I know..." you whispered, the admission feeling like a betrayal in itself.

A humorless laugh escaped him. "That's just so crazy to me considering the multiple conversations we've had about everything he's done and how much we hate him-"

"JJ, I- It didn't mean anything, I was completely wasted." you stammered. The space between you felt vast, space created by your own mistake.

"Wasted enough to forget who your friends are? Wasted enough to… to kiss him?" The emphasis he placed on Rafe's name dripped with disgust, a sentiment you wholeheartedly shared, at least when you were sober.

"No, of course not," you said quickly, desperately trying to bridge the gap between you. "JJ, you're my best friend. You know that. Last night… it was a mistake. A stupid, awful mistake that I regret more than anything. He was coming onto me and...I wasn't thinking."

He searched your eyes, his expression unreadable. "Then explain it to me," he said, his voice softer now, but still laced with a deep unease. "Help me understand how you ended up tangled up with him."

The weight of his gaze, the unspoken question in his eyes, was almost unbearable. You knew you owed him an explanation, even if you barely understood it yourself. The throbbing in your head was nothing compared to the ache in your chest at the thought of jeopardizing the bond you shared with JJ, the person who knew you better than anyone, the one who had always been your constant in the unpredictable chaos of your life.

"Explain it." JJ repeated, his voice rising, the earlier softness gone. He took another step, closing the distance between you, and you could see the muscle twitching in his jaw. "Explain how you ended up slobbering all over the guy who's made our lives a living hell? The guy who almost got John B killed? Who beat the shit out of Pope? You want me to understand that?"

His words were like shards of glass, each one piercing the fragile bubble of your regret. You flinched, shrinking in on yourself. "It wasn't like that," you mumbled, the shame intensifying under his furious gaze. "It was just… a dumb moment. It didn't mean anything-"

"Didn't mean anything?" he scoffed, a harsh, bitter sound. He ran a hand roughly through his already disheveled hair. "You think seeing you with him didn't mean anything to me? You think knowing you'd even let that piece of shit touch you doesn't make me sick to my stomach?"

His anger was a tangible thing, radiating off him in waves. You'd seen JJ angry before, usually directed at Topper or some Kook trying to mess with you or your friends. But this was different. This anger was personal, directed at you, and it stung in a way you hadn't anticipated.

"J, please," you pleaded, your voice trembling. "You have to believe me. I was out of my mind. I wouldn't… I would never intentionally do something to hurt you, to hurt our friends, to...to hurt us."

He took another step back, creating that painful distance again. "But you did!" he shouted, his voice raw with a mixture of fury and something that sounded dangerously close to despair. "I mean, what were you thinking? Did you suddenly forget everything Rafe's done?"

The accusations hit you hard. He was right. How could you have been so careless? The tequila was a weak excuse, a weak shield against the truth of your monumental lapse in judgment.

"No," you choked out, tears pricking at your eyes. "Never. You know I would never… I don't know why it happened, JJ. I just… I messed up."

"Messed up?" he echoed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You kissed the enemy, Y/N! He had his tongue down your throat. The guy who's part of the reason we're always looking over our shoulders! And you call that a 'mess up'?"

His anger was escalating, and you could feel your own desperation rising to meet it. He was your best friend, and the thought that you might have fractured that bond with one stupid, drunken kiss was tearing you apart.

"What do you want me to say, JJ?" you cried, your voice cracking. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. You know it won't happen again. I promise it won't. Just… please, don't look at me like that."

He stared at you, his eyes blazing with an intensity you'd never seen before. "Like what?" he challenged, his voice dangerously low. "Like I can't believe you? Like I'm questioning every damn thing I thought I knew about you?"

The silence that followed was heavy, thick with unspoken accusations and the weight of your mistake. You could see the hurt simmering beneath his anger, and it was that hurt, more than his anger, that made your heart ache. You had truly hurt him, one of the few people who had always had your back, and the realization was a brutal, gut-wrenching blow.

"Friends..." JJ started, shaking his head and biting his lip. "Friends don't do that. They just don't."

"JJ, I'm sorry-"

"Save your apology for someone who wants to hear it." He dismissed, turning away from you. "'Cause it ain't me." He snarled before going inside, leaving you to wallow in your drunken regrets all alone.

JJ Maybank Taglist in replies!

feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.

©loveharlow

[dobbie-doo]

˗ˏˋ ꒰ YANDERE WANDERER ꒱ ˎˊ˗ soft yan wanderer

ow oow..he love u too much !!

✧ warnings — fem !! reader, soft yanderer wanderer,, light mention of NSFW, slightly coercive attitude, Unhealthy relationships <3 . ✧ a/n — ..this character is so complicated..(that's why I love him lol) So there might be some discrepancy with canon. I translated from my native language to English, so there will be some mistakes.. tell me if you see any//

✧ How did he realize his feelings? How quickly did it happen?

You first crossed paths on the Street in Sumeru. Daydreaming, you accidentally bumped into the Wanderer. Automatically apologizing, you smiled slightly and walked on. You didn't see the face of the man who had the misfortune of crossing your path. But he remembered yours.

At another time, the Wanderer would have called out to the absent-minded passerby and expressed his displeasure at his inattention, but this time, for some reason, he didn't feel the desire to ruin someone's mood. Following his gaze as you disappeared around the corner, he was surprised to feel something strange, half-forgotten inside himself…

"No, I'm not going to get involved in this," - the former Number Six of the Fatui Harbingers shook his head decisively.

Yes, he decided to live like a human. But that doesn't mean he wants to go through the same pain as before. Perhaps the Wanderer would have forgotten this meeting over time… even the gods do not know the answer to this question. Or, on the contrary, they decided to remind him what it is like to love?..

The second time he saw you was at a doll-making workshop. You were not from Sumeru and decided to bring home such an interesting souvenir, and he just wanted to make a doll similar to the one he once had. The workshop lasted for several days. You did not even look in the Wanderer's direction, all the time thinking about something of your own, but he did not take his eyes off you. On the third day, the Wanderer began to get angry not only at himself, for making the same mistakes as he once did, becoming attached to a mortal man, but also at you, for not noticing him.

Although, unlike the other people he once loved, you did not give him anything, but for some reason your opinion of him seemed important to him. On the fourth day, the Wanderer could not stand such inattention to his person and began to cough loudly and demonstratively. You looked up at him in confusion:

Be healthy, - you said politely and again looked away from the young man. The Archons see that if the Wanderer were not a puppet, he would choke on this!.. On what?.. Even on the same air!..

For the first time, he saw that someone did not care about him so much. Especially someone he deigned to be interested in. The fifth day was the last day of the master class. Realizing that if he did not do anything now, it would never work out, the Wanderer approached and casually asked:

"Hmm… what is your name?" - You said your name.

"And yours?.."

"Wanderer."

"I see. Excuse me, I need to go." - You turned around to leave the place where the master class was being held. The young man who approached you, apparently to get acquainted, was very handsome in appearance: thick blue-black hair, indigo eyes, delicate features… it was hard to imagine a man as beautiful as Wanderer. But something about him repulsed you… perhaps his manner of speech?..

"Where are you going? hmh.I hope your majesty, you don't mind if I go with you..It wasn't a question."

"I don't need you." - you sighed, I looked at him questioningly.

"What, really?.. Just look at yourself. Thin arms, no weapon. Where are you going to stick your nose in?.."

"In any case, it's none of your business, and it's better to go alone than with a boor like you!.."

"Am I boor? I'm just telling the truth, and if someone doesn't like listening, that's their problem."

"You're right, of course, but if I don't like listening, no one can make me believe otherwise."

"I see."

Wanderer chuckled. His interest in you grew even stronger. The former "balladeer" didn't understand what it was about you that he liked so much, both the first time and now. The first time you didn't talk, so it wasn't the so-called "intelligence." Beauty?.. yes, you're quite nice, but he's seen many prettier ones. The human world is full of mysteries.

The old Scaramouche wouldn't have looked for answers to all these questions. Did he like you?.. great. If you don't want to follow him yourself, he'll kidnap you. He's the Harbinger, who has subordinates and a million ways to keep you locked up. But that's not the case now. It's not even that he's no longer a member of Fatui, it's just that he's become different. He decided that he wanted to absolve himself of all his sins, but how could he do that if he kidnapped someone, even if, one might say, out of scientific interest?.. he needs to think of something else. Maybe he would tell Nahida about it, or, if she was busy, the Traveler.

After listening attentively to Wanderer, the goddess of Wisdom gave him a book.

"All about etiquette: a complete set of rules for social and business communication,"

"Is she kidding? ahh"

He read the book and found out that it was customary to address strangers as "you." It turned out that it was not very nice to start an acquaintance with rudeness even with a simple person, and even more so if you liked him… but it couldn't be that you rejected him, Wanderer, just because he was a little abrupt!..

✧ How jealous is he? How will he deal with his rivals?

He really doesn't like it when you care about someone more than him. However, the smart Wanderer will never arrange a massacre just like that. Although, is it necessary his given inclinations?.. Yes, he can knock a person down so much that it seems better to hit him a couple of times… In Sumeru, they talk about you as a strange couple: a dreamer with thoughts as light as the wind, and an angry kitten, ready to sink his little teeth into the throat of anyone who dares to look at her.

However, Wanderer may seem like a harmless kitten only to a person who has never encountered him. And soon it will become clear to everyone that the "kitten" is not as weak as he seems. Wanderer sharp tongue will quickly do its job. Your admirers will not dare to approach you. At least in his presence.

If someone bothers you too much, Wanderer despite having decided to start a new life, will go to extremes. Oh no, he won't kill that person. He'll just gouge out their eyes. If this guy doesn't understand that it's not nice to look at other people's loved ones, he'll have to show him that. Well, at least this way he'll never make the same mistake again!

✧ Would he kidnap you?

The old Scara, as mentioned above, would kidnap you without a second thought. But now he knows he can't do that. Maybe if your relationship lasts long enough for him to feel he has the right to control you, he'll restrict you a little: make you quit your job and stay home, demand that you come home by nine o'clock and not talk to people he doesn't like.

But if you kindly remind him that you're not his thing, he'll have no choice but to roll his indigo eyes and accept that you're not going to do his bidding.

✧ What are his rules?

First of all, you must not love anyone but him, just as he loves no one but you. That's the most important thing. He also wants you to accompany him wherever he goes - that's the only way he can be sure that you won't cheat on him. He's generally very fanatical about you being faithful to him as a lover should be. Wanderer knows himself well: if he's betrayed again, he won't be able to return to atone for his sins.

✧ What does his behavior look like?

Everyone has a friend or acquaintance who likes to say nasty things, grumble, say that he will never help an idiot like you, and then help in a way that even the most polite and courteous people will not help. So. This friend is Wanderer

He can scold you a hundred times for allowing yourself to be deceived, but you will be sure that your offender will not get off with a light fright.

He can declare a thousand times that he doesn’t care about people, they have too many useless functions that only get in the way in life, but you will always find your favorite food at home. He can tell you a million times that you're a complete idiot, but if someone else says it… oh, man, are you completely tired of living?.. Wanderer believes that he is in a special position and has the right to tell you whatever he wants, but he will react extremely aggressively if someone else thinks the same.

✧ Affection?

As for showing affection… well, he…

Actually, it's touching. Yes, touching. It's not always nice, but touching. It can be a little rough, but it's not intentionally rough, he would NEVER hurt you. You hear me? Never.

Damn it. He'll pick you flowers in Gandharva while he's quietly cursing under his breath about how childish it is, he'll braid your hair or squeeze your hand roughly to make sure you're with him, next to him, and you won't go anywhere. That kind of connection is incredibly intimate, if you think about it. It's a connection on a very deep level, it's love. So everything he does, whether it's nice or not for you, is an expression of love.

He's always with you, even when you don't notice. In the Sumeru bazaar, in the forest, or somewhere in the academy, you always sneak a glimpse of that kasa hat.

✧ What kind of punishment does he use?

Do you really think that he was going to punish you by beating you, or (even worse!) by stabbing you?.. Do you really think that the wanderer doesn't respect you at all?! Doesn't love you at all?? Of course, he can do it, but he won't do it. He doesn't need extra problems when he has gained the trust of the traveler and Nahida. And the second reason.. Believe me, his love for you is eternal and deeper than the roots of Irminsul himself.. As I already said, he will not hurt you. But, he can ignore you for a long time when you have enraged him too much (but he gives up after 5 minutes)

Oh.. Are you one of those "sweet lovers"?.. Great! In that case, why don't you, say, court Wanderer?.. He doesn't ask for anything complicated: Be with him 27/8, don't talk to anyone except him and maybe, Durin, and… ah, really, you shouldn't complain: The former Fatui already allowed you everything that his previous version would have forbidden!.. Believe me, he just wants to be loved, after all, 500 years of apostasy and hatred have borne fruit..

Ah, so you're one of those "mean lovers"?.. Little wretch! For this, you deserve an even more terrible punishment than that. So, you'll have to sleep in the same bed with him and kiss your puppet for a long time before going to bed… If you don't agree to this, Wanderer will decide to a little bit caress you down below. And you won't be able to avoid this in any way..

Imagine, just you, him and your cozy bed! Wanderer was not born yesterday and has a full understanding of human.. Desires. No matter how much the Wanderer hates human sins, you remain his weakness. Wanderer knows, and has even seen how people succumb to the embrace of lust, and if you are his sweet lover, why don't you do it together? trust me, he will satisfy you properly

✧ What happens if you get sick?

Wanderer will tell you a lot of things while you're sick. For example, that only an idiot could go out without a hat, knowing that it would rain, and you is quite sick and can easily catch something. And also that the human body is very weak in principle, so you shouldn't have gone anywhere at all, just like he said… but at the same time he will surround you with pillows, feed you with a spoon, buy you sweets and make you tea.

One day, when he will be adjusting the blanket at night, you will wake up and, in your sleep, say that such behavior makes him human…

✧ How much does he need your love?

Initially, Wanderer didn't want to experience feelings that usually hurt people, but when he admitted that he was in love, he realized that there was no point in being afraid anymore. Everything that could happen has already happened, and nothing can be done about it.

And since he loves you, it would be desirable for you to love him too. And if Wanderer can't open the door to your heart, he will try to achieve at least a tolerant attitude towards himself. However, this will never be enough for him. He wants his feelings to be reciprocated.

✧ Views on family

Family… such a forgotten and alien word for him. The wanderer used to have a family 500 years ago, but he doesn't want to remember it, and he won't dare tell you about it, he doesn't want to scare you off.. About children, girl, do you really think that a puppet can impregnate you? It's funny. But if you really get close, Wanderer will treat you like a family member. In order not to offend you, over time he will moderate his ardor and become less harsh in his judgments.

But if you don't need him, and you are simply forced to be near him… he will treat you not as a thing, no. If you put a thing, it stands there. And you, more like a pet. You tell him: don't climb there, and he climbs. You tell him: don't eat this, and he eats. You tell him: don't bother this person, and he bothers. Usually, of course, a pet is perceived as part of the family, but it is unknown whether Wanderer will put so highly someone whom he considers so inferior to himself.

✧ What kind of pet-names does he use?

Well…he doesn't like to use pet-names like "sweety pie" or "my bunny", etc.. Even the puppet like him gets sick of it. But the Wanderer often uses poetic nicknames towards you. He can compare you to characters from books or heroes of famous paintings.

And you have a surprisingly large number of such "second names": each time he calls you differently, depending on the situation and your behavior. For example, if you are a night owl and don't like to sleep at night, he calls you "Selena" in honor of the moon goddess, if you prefer airy, light-colored clothes, he can compare you to an angel, and so on.

Wanderer is very protective of you, because he considers you the only person who can accept him as he is. And, you can be sure, he will do everything to not lose you.. Not after what he went through..

"But you are not angry, are you, my Persephone?.."

@crimsoncandy04 @anantaru @hitomisuzuya @lavandulawrites @himasgod @neuvigroove @quimichi @rsventhesecondd @anemoswirlsmyheart @nil4everheartz @kujiba @genshingorlsrevengeance @shyentsfoundherink @lavandulawrites @ashyashylee @hitomisuzuya

[pyxxiestyxx]

Comforting Honesty

"Do you know what this is, petal?" I frowned at both the affini preforming the Wellness Check, and the soft little thing it held in one massive hand. Well, small for her, anyway. The plushie was sized for someone of my height, a miniaturized version of a Khetari, complete with soft eyes and the expressive smug little face.

"Its a stuffed plush, similar to ones I've seen florets dragging all over the starsdamned place. And if you're trying to be subtle, you're really not hitting that mark. I don't appreciate the- OW!" I yelped and leaped backwards as the affini withdrew a vine, the needle-tipped flower on the end still dripping bright blue with something. Some...some xenodrug, obviously. I rubbed my neck where the injection had occurred, sulking. "That wasn't necessary."

"Oh, my apologies. As you said that you 'didn't appreciate subtlety', I thought it may be better if both of us were upfront and honest about things." The affini's eyes were sparkling in swirls of purple and gold, and I was suddenly reminded of just...just how tall she was compared to me when she rose to her full height. I took a few nervous steps backwards, and she countered by taking a single step to match. One. Step.

She continued in a lower, throaty purr, "Let me be clear then, petal. This is a plushie, yes. It is being given to you for several reasons. Firstly, your brain has been conditioned through your culture to bond with those who give you gifts. You don't even have to accept the gift to have this process happen; the mere offering is enough. But you will accept it, flower." I swallowed nervously at her words, the directness of them.

"Secondly, it is because this will help you get into a headspace much more befitting of a seed like you. Because yes, you will be carrying this around, at all times. Just. Like. A. Floret." With each word, her eyes pulsed brighter, the words branding themselves upon my brain.

"Thirdly, this is a special plushie. In this is a device that will output my biorhythms. Ah, and by the look on your face, you know exactly what those are. What those represent." I took another few steps back, but tripped on a box of something behind me that I had forgotten to clean up. In a flash of movement the affini was upon me, vines curling around and cradling me, pinning my arms to my chest and winding under my chin to tilt my head towards her.

"We prefer not to reveal all this at once, of course. It can be...intimidating to a sophont at first. But don't you worry, my darling floret-to-be. If you ever feel scared over the next...mmm" She tilted her head in thought, then smiled viciously. "About three days, if I were to guess. Three days until you break for me, until you beg for me to hold you in my vines again, to keep you safe forever."

I felt something soft and warm and...and ever so slightly comforting in a way I didn't understand press into my chest as she wrapped my arms around it with a smile. "And in those three days...if you ever get worried, or stressed...all you have to do is cuddle with your new plushie~ Isn't that wonderful?"

[newrochellechallenger2019]

i need a fic where patrick gets a crush on one of art’s smart stanford friends 😭😭 like an english major girl or something 😭

*forehead kiss* (as promised)

omg yes did you crawl into my brain and see the english student inside me???

you first meet patrick zweig when you knock on art's dorm door and the door swings open to reveal the tall, curly haired brunette staring back at you instead.

he leans against the doorframe, his eyes looking you up down, unsubtly checking you out. 'hey' he says, voice dripping with flirtation.

your brow furrows, jostling the paperback under your arm. 'is art in?', turned off by his cockiness.

there's a rustling of bedcovers from inside the dorm and art appears by the door. 'yes- hi- uh- this is patrick, we went to school together and uh-.' he says, tone apologetic.

'i'm a professional tennis player.' says patrick suavely, extending his hand out for you to shake.

you nod, shaking his hand politely. 'nice to meet you patrick.' you say formally and he smirks, seemingly victorious. 'anyway, i just wanted to drop off my book, i've put all the notes in so you can look over it before the next lecture.' you smile at art, handing the copy over.

his face lights up 'seriously? oh you're a lifesaver!' the blonde says warmly and your smile grows. 'it's no problem really.' and he shakes his head 'nah i owe you one, thanks.'

you wave goodbye and the door closes, art turns on patrick 'no.' the blonde says quickly. 'what? i wasn't even-' protests the brunette, feigning innocence. 'no way, she's way out of your league dude.' art says firmly 'that hurts man.' patrick mock pouts.

despite art's protests, patrick was unperturbed and started to take more trips down to stanford to 'visit art'.

the second time you meet patrick is in the library, you'd been pouring over your essay for half the day when patrick stopped at your table.

'thought that was you' he grins, and even though it hardly been a month since you last saw him, his charm felt familiar somehow.

you look up from your laptop 'what brings you here? this is for students.' you say coolly.

he barks out a laugh 'yeah i know that, art dragged me here to look for some textbook for his presentation.' he waves in a direction dismissively and slides into the seat next to you.

'what are you working on?' he says, peering over your shoulder and as your shoulders brush, you feel a jolt of electricity.

'essay. you wouldn't get it.' you say shortly, trying to ignore the way his body feels against yours.

he clutched his chest dramatically, feigning hurt and you roll your eyes. he nudges ever close, practically pushing you out of your chair as he reads. '...prevelance of...american colonisation...' 'yeah okay.' you interrupt, turning to him. 'thank you.' you say with finality, staring at him as a signal to leave you alone.

he leans back in his chair and eyes you with a wry grin, 'you're right, it's too smart, i don't get it.' and you shake you head, turning back to your laptop.

'patrick!' interrupts art, and you both look over at him. 'there you are, you left me talking to myself by the shelf like an idiot' and patrick hardly stifles a snigger at art's put-out face. 'sorry.' he manages, not a trace of apology in his tone.

'come on.' art says to patrick, before turning to you. 'sorry, good luck with your essay!' you nod in acknowledgement and patrick stands up with a groan, 'spoilsport.' he hisses to art, 'never going to happen.' retorts art and they leave the library.

it'd been a couple months since you last saw patrick, art had said that the tour was too far out for him to travel easily so you'd forgotten all about the sparks that had flown between you that day in the library.

it was the early hours of the morning and you were browsing the aisles of the college supermarket, looking for a final caffeine fix to cram before your exam that day.

you hear a rustling behind you and a hiccup, 'i like the...caramel ones...' slurs a voice and you turn around. patrick is stood behind you, staring at you, eyes slightly glassy, his arms filled with an array of snacks. you blink at him, 'are you-' and he waves his arm to cut you off, 'art got some drinks.' and you nod 'right.'

you turn back and grab a coffee from the fridge, a caramel one and his face brightens, 'good onesss....yes?' he grins wide, 'sure', you reply with a tight lipped smile.

you walk down the aisle toward the cashier and patrick follows, wobbling slightly, 'hey- come back with- hic- me.' he says and you shake your head, 'i'm okay, i've gotta study.' art should be too but you don't say that part and the footsteps behind you pause and you turn around, patrick's staring at you like you just said the most outrageous thing in the world, 'study?!... study study study, is that all you do?'.

'no!' you say defensively, bristling with hurt as you reach the cashier. patrick slides alongside you and hands over cash to pay for your coffee before you can stop him, unceremoniously dumping his own purchases on the counter.

'i'm sorry...i didn't mean that' he says with about as much sincerity as a drunk man can, 'it's okay.' you say quickly, grabbing your coffee and starting to leave.

his heart breaks, the alcohol coursing through his veins making him more dramatic than usual, 'wait! don't go!' his voice breaks, and you look at him a bewildered expression, 'what? why not?', looking at him expectantly.

'i'm in love with you' he blurts out and your eyes widen, and he catches sight of your expression 'no- hic- i have a crush on you- i mean.' and his face is so serious, you have to press your lips together to fight a smile at how endearing he's being, 'i figured.' you say quietly and his mouth falls open. 'and do you-.' and you pause, taking him in, he was handsome, that much was obvious and when he wasn't being an ass, which was seemingly all of the time, he was sweet.

you step closer towards him, your smile growing, 'i don't know yet' you say flirtatiously and his eyes light up, 'kiss...' he slurs leaning in and you lean back, 'outside.' you redirect, taking his hand and leading him outside of the shop, leaning against the wall.

you slowly cup his face with your hands and lean in, his lips meet yours gently as you kiss but it doesn't take long for the kiss to grow sloppy, his hands going to your hips and lifting you up against the wall, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist.

he breaks the kisses, forehead against yours as he pants heavily, 'best...kiss...ever.' he mumbles, 'you're drunk' you laughingly respond and he shakes his head dramatically, before putting you down, 'gonna go back to- hic- art.' he says dazily and you stifle a laugh 'good idea.'

you watch him walk off, heart warmed by the brief makeout session you'd shared even if it was outside a college supermarket in the middle of the night.

he turns around, 'come see me on tour baby!' he calls and you grin 'will do!' and he looks overjoyed, half-running, half-stumbling in the direction of art's dorm.

hope you enjoy love <3

[onlybeeewrites]

Meadow's Lullaby

Requests: Yes!

Pairing: Sejanus Plinth x fem!reader, onesided Coriolanus x reader, platonic Lucy Gray x reader

Warnings: none, this is a fluffy one....for now :)

Word count: 1.3K

The Valley Song Series: Part 1 <- -> Part 3

Author's Note: You guys are literally so amazing??? Thank you so much for showing your love for The Valley Song. I came up with this idea and direction so hopefully you all enjoy it. Thank you, lovies! Also once again, because I love Maiah Wynne, the music below is what the reader plays :)) Also this was just so much fun to write

You were a lot shyer than Lucy Gray. That was one of the first things that came to Coriolanus' mind as he watched Lucy Gray pull you over as the performance ended for the night. Maude Ivory had taken your old wooden guitar from you as the rest of the Covey put their instruments away and gathered all the donations from around the Hob.

Your shy and bashful nature had intrigued Coriolanus greatly, but it had with Sejanus as well. He could tell so as his...friend's face got more pink in his cheeks as you neared. A curiosity in his eyes as you neared.

"Y/N, It is finally time for you to meet my boy, Coriolanus Snow. And this is his fine friend, Sejanus," Lucy Gray had introduced them. Her boy, he thought to himself with great distaste. Coriolanus did not belong to anyone, and his little songbird counted. He was not one to be owned. He owned others.

"Y/N here is my older cousin. Just by a year though so it ain't nothing fancy." Lucy Gray said with a laugh, causing you to shyly roll your eyes at your cousin's words. It was clear this wasn't the first time this was brought up in any sort of conversation.

"A pleasure to meet you, Y/N" Coriolanus said with a charming smile and a nod as Lucy Gray let go of her cousin's hand and moved to step beside Coryo, her arm going around his waist.

You gave him a bit of a shy smile as you gave him a nod, "The pleasure is all mine, Coriolanus. I cannot thank you enough for bringing my cousin back to us. I owe you," you chuckled. And even your chuckle was like soft wind chimes; soft.

Sejanus could not help but look to you in some sort of admiration. Even by the look in your eyes, you were gentle kind, and compassionate. Even after all you had been through with losing your family, singing for your dinners, almost losing your cousin...you were still kind. Almost like him.

Your eyes moved to look at him and you could feel your face heating up. He was beautiful. Almost too beautiful, especially to be somewhere like here in District Twelve. You couldn't help but wonder what he had done to be sent there.

"Pleasure to meet you Sejanus.." You say after a moment of almost staring at each other, realizing the silence may have gone on for a little bit too long. In the corner of your eye, you see your cousin smirking at you, glancing up at Coryo as if she had planned this sort of meeting all along.

"Trust me....the pleasure is all mine. You were uh...you were amazing up there by the way," Sejanus said nervously, though the smile stayed on his face.

The bashful smile returned to your lips at his almost too-kind words. "Why thank you. I don't sing on my own very often so I'm pleased you enjoyed it,"

Lucy Gray grinned before remembering. "Oh! I almost forgot. The Covey, we're all making a trip out tomorrow. You both should join us!" she offered.

Coriolanus and Sejanus both shared a look. They both had nothing else to do. So after a moment of sharing a look, Coriolanus smiled slightly and nodded, "We'd love to,"

Lucy Gray almost squealed with excitement, "Oh perfect. You boys are going to love it. Coryo, come by our house by mornin', alright? We'll see you both tomorrow," she said with a grin, taking your hand and rushing back towards the rest of the covey.

You turned and gave them both one last wave and smile before being pulled backstage, leaving the two boys in almost awe: Sejanus being more obvious.

"I can't wait for tomorrow," Sejanus sighed.

When tomorrow finally came, the two boys made it to the small Covey home on the edge of the Seam. And by an hour after sunrise, you all started the hike up to the lake. You lingered behind talking with Barb Azure, listening to Maude Ivory singing and Lucy speaking with Coryo. Halfway through you lingered back, falling back in step with Sejanus.

After hours of hiking, you all made it to the lake and set your things down. The heat was seemingly unbearable, and many of the covey found their way to the lake, aching to cool off their skin with the cold water.

You decided to join them later. Moving to settle under one of the nearby trees, you fixed your old dress before pulling your guitar onto your lap. Your delicate fingers started to string along to the song that Lucy Gray would sing whenever anyone had any nightmares.

As you played you failed to see Sejanus, who was about to join the others in the water before spotting you on your own. He didn't think twice before he made his way over to you, taking a seat a little next to you.

You looked up in surprise, pausing the strumming of the delicate cords. "Sejanus. Sorry, I didn't hear you coming," you add with a smile, flattered and almost happy that out of everything, he wanted to come and sit with you.

"Well I saw you were on your own, figured you could use some company," he used as an excuse, feeling his face warm; though with the heat of the day, it was hard to tell the difference. "What were you playing? I sounded pretty," he then asked.

"Oh, it was just some music I wrote for one of Lucy Gray's songs. She calls it Deep in the Meadow. She usually sings it when Maude Ivory has a nightmare or trouble sleeping. I figured I could add some music to help," you explain, looking at him, flushing as you realize that he never once had taken his eyes off you.

And how beautiful his eyes were. You could see the kindness and admiration, they were captivating and warm. And it all caused a fluttering within your stomach.

"You wrote that all yourself?" He asked in amazement, and as you nodded he gave a small whistle, "That is incredible....could you play something else you wrote?" he asked hopefully before he quickly added in what seemed to be panic, "Of course, you don't have to if you don't want to, I just...your playing is beautiful.."

His words made you grow flustered, but you gave out a small laugh. Something about him allowed you to feel comfortable where you had never felt comfortable before. There were very few people outside the covey that you would do this with, Sejanus may have just been the quickest that you allowed.

"No...no, I don't mind," you quickly reassured him before playing another song you had written, leaving the capital boy silent as he admired the music you had created.

As you both were having your moment, playing him your music, neither of you was aware of the pale eyes that were watching from the water. Coriolanus felt his jaw clench at the sight of them, how Sejanus was able to chat you up about whatever it was.

What were you both talking about? He hated that he didn't know, that he wasn't in the loop, that he couldn't control whatever it was that came from Sejanus' mouth.

Lucy Gray gently climbing onto his back, wrapping her arms around him to keep afloat snapped him out of his thoughts.

"I think they'd make a mighty fine couple, wouldn't you say?" she asked, rather pleased with her match-making skills. Coriolanus on the other hand, wasn't as pleased. But regardless he nodded.

"Hm. She seems a fine match for Sejanus." A fine match was the nicest thing he could come up with as he stared at the few figures underneath the tree.

A fine match with Sejanus would be enough for you now, but he wondered how fine it would be when trouble would eventually find its way back around.

[swappedandtrapped]

Rent Help - Part 1

Hey, first thing I'm posting here. Character consistency with AI is difficult for me, so just go with it.

It wasn't a good time in my life. The pandemic hit, making me unemployed. I stayed at home to avoid getting sick and with nothing to do I was starting to find any excuse to go out of my room. I was renting this flat with another guy I found on Craigslist, Roy.

Roy was my age, he moved in from some place outside the county a few years ago and we managed to stay out of each others' way. Maybe except a few times I heard his booming voice shout at the TV, cursing other players in some online game. He was also too comfortable in the house, taking off his shirt and staying like that even when guests came over.

Slowly, the world came back to order. The quarantines stopped, but I was still out of a job. I ended up searching for a long while. I was struggling and really tried to be frugal. Eating cheap, saving up, the usual. But my savings were about to run out.

I was desperate, and even though I felt bad doing so, I asked Roy if he could lend me the money for rent. Roy, to my disappointment, refused. He said he had really bad experiences with friends he lent money to, but never payed him back. I begged, said it was a sure thing, I was willing to do anything, sign contracts, whatever he wanted.

"Sorry man," He said. "You know how it is, I can't let my friends owe me money," He insisted. "But if you're willing to do something for me in return, I think we can still work something out." I was hesitant. "What do you mean? Like doing your laundry?" "Well. Sort of." He smiled. "Just make sure to be free this weekend so you could help me with that thing." It was either that or become homeless, so I jumped to hug him "Yes, of course! Anything! Thanks man!" "No worries. I'll give you the details Friday morning."

The week went by quick. I wasn't sure what he wanted, but I guessed it was just some house work or doing errands for him. He was straight, so anything sex related was out of the question. I relaxed and knew that I won't be kicked out of my place. At least this month.

…

Friday morning came, but my alarm didn't go off. I woke from the direct sunlight peaking through the window curtains when I knew that my window was facing west. But the first thing that I knew was wrong was the smell. Something smelled... Wrong... Like someone else's laundry. In my half-asleep state, I turned on my side to get my phone to check the time. Eyes still closed, I couldn't feel the phone on my nightstand. I opened my eyes to see where the hell was it, but my heart stopped when I first saw my hand.

It definitely wasn't my hand. Darker skin, hairier, and a bit bigger than mine. I saw it was attached to a foreign arm with the same features of the hand. Darker skin, more hair, and bigger than mine. I gasped in fright and used the hand and arm to take off the blanket and reveal what was underneath.

Not my body. This is definitely not my body. I was wearing only pajama shorts, which I never do. My chest was thick, heavy, and hairy. My gut spilling over its own weight. My legs wiggled with fat from my movement. Wait, is this… Roy's body? I touched my chin and felt the beard Roy had. I took a look up from my body and saw I was actually in his bed, which is also in his room. What the fuck happened to me? What is going on? I run to a mirror to see if my fear is true. All I saw was Roy, having the same expression of horror I had.

I screamed, only to quickly stop and cover my mouth. What the hell was this sound coming out of me? "Ahh, test, test." I tried to listen and realized I also heard Roy's voice coming my throat. MY throat! I couldn't escape it. I tried looking for a way out of this body, clawing my skin to find an opening, but all I did was hurt myself.

I was out of breath. I started to sweat. The world was spinning and I had to sit down. After crashing on the shared living room sofa, my heartbeat lowered to a normal pace, but I was still shocked. "What the fu-" I said, surprised again to hear Roy's accent through my teeth. Was this a dream? What the fuck is going on?

"Can you keep it down? It's barely 8 o'clock." a voice behind me said. My voice. My real voice. I looked up to see who I assumed was "Roy?". I stood up to face him. "I didn't think you'd wake up this early, but whatever, I guess we can do this now." "You… You knew about this?" I stammered. "Wait. Did YOU do this?!" "Don't make a big deal out of it man, I told you I'll needed you on Friday." "FOR WHAT!?" I shouted, with his booming voice. "For replacing you?!"

"Don't give yourself too much credit. It's just for this weekend.". He started getting ready to go out. "And I don't need you to replace me, I just needed to not be me for a bit." "WHAT THE FUCK ROY?!" I started getting out of breath again. Maybe even a low-key panic attack. "Why didn't you say anything about that? I thought I was just gonna clean your room or something!"

"I don't understand why you're so upset. You're getting free rent money for basically just sitting on your ass all day." "Because you TOOK MY BODY." "Don't be dramatic, it's just for the weekend. I'm borrowing it." He put on my coat on his way out. "Couldn't you tell me before? How did you even do this?"

"That's not important, I've had this thing since I was little." He started putting on my shoes and tying his shoelaces. Listen, if you don't want this, we can switch back now, but forget about the rent. I'm not giving out free money. It's your choice."

I started to form an insult, but quickly realized this might be my only option. And is being in Roy's body for a weekend really that bad?

"And this is just for the weekend?" "Yes." "And all I have to do is stay here?" "Or go out, I don't care. I just need your body." "But why?" "That's where the money comes in. Most of the pay is for you being discreet about this." The gears in my head turned. "What, like something illegal? Sex? Don't do weird shit in my body." "Nothing sketchy, I promise, but I really need to go. I'll be back tomorrow."

He closed the door after him, leaving me still shocked at the situation he got me into.

Thanks for reading. Part 2 out soon.

[holdmytesseract]

moodboard by @chennqingg divider by @fictive-sl0th

Biker!Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader | No Outbreak AU

Warnings for this Chapter: swear words, a slap, a whole new side of Daryl, very brief mention of cheating, sad Daryl hours, Merle being Merle (again), sibling fight? (again), talks about sex?

Word Count: 2,6k

a/n: Do we feel sorry for Daryl or did he deserve it?

P.S. I love love love the song I've chosen for this chapter. It fits SO well.

《 M a s t e r l i s t 》

《 Chapter Ten 》 《 Chapter Twelve 》

Chapter Eleven...

... in which the tables turn and Daryl is left with a broken heart...

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or Gonna smash up your bike, I Haven't decided yet But I'm gonna get you back

Whether I'm gonna flip you off or Pull you into the closet I haven't decided yet But I'm gonna get you back

'imgonnagetyouback' by Taylor Swift

Annie, who had made it back to you just in time to hear the words leaving your lips lifted a confused eyebrow; cocking her head. "Uhh, Y/N/N? You okay?" You didn't answer her; way too caught up in the sudden realisation that the man who broke your heart like it was a mere stick stood just across the street. "Y/N? Hey, what-" Your friend finally followed your gaze then. Her eyes darting between you and Daryl. "Who's that?"

Her words snapped you out of your trance; brain finally catching up - and once it did, you felt an cocktail of emotions brewing inside you... Anger, confusion, sadness, pain - a weird kind of happiness... But anger was at least in that very moment the strongest one. Balling your hands into fists, you forced your feet to work again. "Y/N?" "He is one of the biggest assholes in the United States. Probably even whole America," was all you said, before you stalked into his direction - full of determination.

Since the lot of students had disappeared by now, Daryl was able to get a better view as well - and once he noticed you, his heart suddenly leaped into his throat. He pushed himself off his bike and took a few steps towards you. The biker opened his mouth to say something, but you didn't even let him finish your name, before your palm connected harshly with his cheek; slapping him with all your strength.

Of course went Daryl immediately silent; lifting his own hand to rub his now red and aching right side of his face. "Ow..." He quietly stated with a grimace. "'S okay, though. I deserve it..."

You completely ignored his words and let your anger take over instead. "What the hell are you doing here?!" Daryl flinched and ducked his head. Currently, there was absolutely no trace left of the confident playboy. "Came 'ere to talk with ya," he answered carefully.

You snorted out a laugh and crossed your arms over your chest. "How did you even find me, huh?" "Dun matter." "Yes, it d- Wait... Did Tess spill it?!" Daryl shook immediately his head. "Nah." Your eyes widened. "Oh my gosh, were you stalking me?!" "Wha'?!" Daryl almost squeaked out in shock. "No! Fer God's sake, Y/N! I ain't stalkin' ya! 'M not a psycho!" You narrowed your eyes. "How did you find me then?" He sighed; nervously scratching his beardy chin. "Drove to Miles City, waited in that bar for ya... Tess saw me. Ta say she wasn't amused 's an understatement. Gave me quite some hell. 'N of course she didn't tell me where ya went. Met a kind old lady on ma way 'n she told me. Didn't ask her right away, though. Was jus' lookin' for the ranch."

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. "Mrs. Peterson..." You mumbled under your breath.

"Tess didn't tell ya 'bout seein' me?" Daryl was kinda astonished; only thinking about this now. And honestly, you were wondering why your sister didn't tell you about Daryl's 'visit' as well. You shrugged your shoulders. "Guess she just wanted to protect me... And my heart." The man opposite you nodded; fumbling his fingers and biting on his bottom lip again.

You sighed once more and turned to Annie - who was standing a few yards away. She didn't make a sound; eyes darting between you and the stranger. "Annie, go already ahead okay? I'll catch up to you." Now spoken to, she immediately woke from her reticence and gave Daryl a last judgemental, warning gaze, before she passed you by. "Alright. Take care, yeah? If you need me to kick his ass and optionally cut off his balls, just call me, yeah?" Your friend whispered in your ear. You had to suppress a giggle. "Promise." She nodded and left; already heading for the Subway you meant to have dinner together.

Redirecting your attention to Daryl, you took a deep breath and swallowed; the anger within you subsiding so slowly. "You want to talk? Then talk. Now or never," you finally stated and buried your hands in the denim jacket you wore.

You could practically see the gears turning in his head. How much he was struggling to form the right words in his head.

"Y/N, I... I need ya, please," he just blurted out then; not knowing what else to say. This wasn't easy for the not so eloquent biker.

You crossed your arms over your chest; giving the man standing opposite you a hard glare. This wasn't what you expected - or was it? Anyways, it wasn't something you wanted to hear. "Daryl, I'm not stupid. Not anymore. If this is about sex, you can thoroughly go fuck yourself or-" "Nah!" Daryl interrupted you - almost frantically; realising he had already chosen the wrong words. "Nah, 's not 'bout sex, I..." He huffed frustratingly; fingers fumbling nervously. "L-Look, 'm not good at this. I never..." The biker trailed off and sighed. "'M sorry, Y/N. I was an asshole... A goddamn blind 'n stupid asshole. Took me a minute ta realise it 'n sort this out, but... I-I miss ya 'n it kills me, 'cause... I-I like ya - a lot." Daryl found and finally said the words; immediately ducking his head and chewing hard on the inside of his lip once more - afraid of your reaction. Afraid of... rejection?

You had never seen him like this before... So... Nervous and uncertain... Even insecure. You swallowed hard. Your heart screamed at you to just cross the few yards separating you and jump into the man's arms - but then your brain joined the party and reminded you what got you and Daryl in this situation in the first place... He broke your heart and - knowingly or unknowingly played with your feelings. He treated you like a cheap whore in some kind of way. Using you for some fun and then threw you carelessly aside like a pair of worn out jeans. You had been hurting badly for weeks - months... You couldn't just erase the memory from your brain and say fuck it. You just couldn't...

"No, Daryl. That's not how this works. You can't just tear my heart into pieces and return a few weeks later and tell me you changed your mind," you stated; shaking your head. "Standing here with your hands in your pockets and a simple apology isn't enough."

The biker started to nod; heart clenching in his chest. So that was how it felt..., he thought - but he deserved it. Daryl knew that. It was only fair.

"Wha' do I gotta do, Y/N? I-I really wantcha back..." Daryl whispered from behind his thumb, on which he had started to gnaw. You took a deep breath. "Show me that your intentions and feelings are pure. You have to earn my trust. Show me that you really mean it. That you really want this - me... Us. A relationship."

Once again the biker nodded; understanding your terms. You were more than right. He didn't know how he could be so foolish to think that you'd welcome him back with open arms after what he had done to you - and fucking hell, he regretted it to his very core. Daryl had already done a few bad and questionable things in his life, but that was by far the worst.

"H-How?" He asked shyly; not having a single clue about how all this stuff worked. The only relationships - if you could even call it that - he ever had was back in his youth and high school years, and after he found out about his last girlfriend cheated on him, he decided to never do shit like that again; settling on one-night-stands, whores and strippers (especially Leah) instead - and now here he was...

"I... I don't know, Daryl, I..." You sighed and took a deep breath. "I need some time and space, okay? I... I have to let the scar heal. Give me some time and I'll come to you when I'm ready to give you - us, another chance."

It felt like a punch into the gut for the biker, but dear god, of course he understood. Respecting your wish was the least he could do. Hell, he should be grateful that you even considered to give him another chance. "'Course, yeah, sure, got it. I understand."

You gave Daryl a nod and a tight-lipped smile, before you adjusted the bag dangling off your shoulder and turned to leave. This time, you were the one walking away - and damn, the pain in the biker's chest seemed to be unbeatable...

"So... Who was that guy?" Annie immediately asked you the moment you sat down on the both across from her; watching her take a bite off her sandwich. "Daryl. My ex... Uh... Ex-lover?" You didn't even know how to label what the both of you had. It hadn't been friendship and certainly not a romantic relationship. "I don't know what we were. It was sex for him, love for me..." You tried to explain; trailing off. Annie swallowed her bite and gave you a scrutinising look. "Okay, yeah, no. I wanna hear everything. Spill it."

So, you did.

"Wow, what an asshole, indeed... And now you're thinking about giving him another chance? Do I get that part right?" You bit your lip; a slight blush forming on your cheeks as you nodded. "I-I, yeah, kinda? I don't know... I need time to think about it..." Your friend raised an accusing eyebrow. "So, he comes back to you, proclaims he loves you and you just... say alright, let's go?" "No, Annie, I didn't. I-" You sighed; rubbing the heels of your hands in your eyes in frustration. "Like I said... Need time to think about it."

She just stared at you then for a good minute and studied your face, before she spoke up again - and literally confronted you straight away with the truth you tried to bury since weeks deep down in your heart and brain. You almost felt offended.

"You still love him, don't you?"

You swallowed hard; actually not wanting to admit it, but in the end, you nodded - defeatedly. Annie shook her head; pressing her lips into a thin line... "Oh, girl..."

You shrugged your shoulders and lowered your head to stare at the surface of the table. "I know..." You whispered; feeling the lump forming in your throat. "I know I should hate him for what he did, but I can't... I just can't... I tried to get over him, and whenever I thought I made it, he keeps pulling me back in."

Your friend's expression changed, turned compassionate. "I'm sorry, Y/N/N, but please... Before you decide to just run back to him, do think it through, okay? Be careful." You nodded. "I will. I told him I would. The scar hasn't healed yet. Gotta do that first."

The short 'reunion' didn't left Daryl untouched as well. Your words kept echoing through his mind while he drove back home. He knew he had to give you the time you needed and he wanted to, but it was a difficult task to accomplish with an aching heart beating within your chest. All he wanted was to have you close; move heaven and hell to show you that his intentions were honest this time... That his love for you was real and sincere. But all he could do now was hoping... Hoping that you'd grant him a second chance.

Once Daryl arrived back home at his trailer, he did just as much as having a quick, cold shower and some canned ravioli, before he immediately went to his brother's workshop; not even bothering to sleep for at least a few hours. He needed distraction - even if it meant to deal with Merle and his stupid comments. Motorcycles were his life. It was how it was.

The younger Dixon was the only one at the workshop at that time of the day; the sun already setting. And of course it didn't take Merle long to become aware of his brother's sudden presence...

"You're back, baby brother?" Merle's voice urged to the biker's ears and caused him to lift his head. "Yeah, 'm back," Daryl answered nonchalantly; immediately returning to the task at hand - changing the tyres of the Harley Davidson beside him.

"What? That's it? Ya got nothin' else to say?" Daryl shrugged his shoulders. "Whatcha want me ta say?"

The older Dixon scoffed and rolled his eyes; crossing his arms over his chest.

"You been away for a whole damn week 'n now you jus' stroll in here 'n work as if nothin' happened? Like ya ain't just walked out on me?" Merle raised his voice; echoing through the big hall. Daryl didn't even flinch. He just continued to prop up the Harley. "Yeah, so?" He stated; shrugging his shoulders once again. "Ya ain't ma daddy, Merle. 'M a grown ass man." Daryl wiped his nose with the back of his tattooed hand and walked over to get the fresh tyres he needed.

Merle being Merle, he couldn't just leave it be and followed him. The older Dixon had a suspicion what caused his baby brother to act that way. This all wasn't usual Daryl behaviour. Something had changed over the past months... Merle was a lot, but not stupid.

"It's all about a girl, ain't it?" Merle stated bluntly; straightfaced. It caused Daryl to freeze in his movements for a moment.

How the hell could he know?

The biker clenched his jaw. "Again... 'S none of your damn business, Merle."

Daryl's obvious defensive reaction was proof enough for Merle. He barked out a laugh. "Got ya there, baby brother. You're really whipped, ain't ya?" Daryl just grumbled; finding the oil slick on the concrete ground beneath him suddenly very interesting. But Merle wasn't done yet - of course.

"Wait, wait, wait..." He suddenly exclaimed. "Don't tell me it's that girl ya screwed on yer bike trip through Montana!" Once again, Daryl answered nothing.

What was he supposed to say anyway? He had clearly lost this 'battle', before it had even started.

Merle had looked right through him. Sure, it took him quite some time to figure out that this was all about a woman, but he got there.

"Fuckin' hell, it is!" Merle laughed and grinned; sending his brother that dirty smile he knew so well. "Was her pussy that good, Darlina? Man, perhaps I should've really gone to Montana myself for that damn job I gave ya... Could've had a taste myself." Merle winked at his brother; still with that smile on his lips - and Daryl had enough. He was used to his brother's teasing and dirty comments, but with that he had truly crossed a line.

"Shut the fuck up, Merle!" The younger Dixon exploded and stalked angrily over to the older man; chest puffed out. "Dun talk about 'er like that, ya hear me?! She ain't nothing like 'em desperate whores you fuck every Saturday night! She's so much more than tha'! You should better keep yer dirty mouth shut, 'cause you dun know a damn thing 'bout love!" Daryl shakes his head and took a deep breath to calm his raging nerves, before taking a few steps backwards. "Honestly, man, I feel sorry for ya. Bein' in love is the best damn thing in this godforsaken world - and ya never got ta experience it, only 'cause you are convinced tha' it's for pussies and losers. 'S not. Tha's bullshit. I know tha' now."

Without another word, Daryl turned his back to his older brother and kneeled down beside the bike and returned to changing the tyres. And Merle? Merle could just stand there and stare; being rendered speechless by his younger brother.

Tags: @dixons-sunshine @dixonsdarkelf @negansbestie @angelwings-crossbowstrings @belitoxx @fictive-sl0th @whore4romance @stitchintimefan @imadisneyprincessiswear @dilfdixon @erebus-et-eigengrau @making-the-most-0f-it @secretsicanthideanymore @sweetz1919 @km-ffluv @cakesandtom @mikaela-granger @0-aubrie0 @marvelcasey05 @loz-3 @bigbaldheadname @huntedmusicgardenn @mayday2007 @ffsjustletmesleep @chaoticevilbakugo

If you want to be added or removed from this taglist, please let me know!

[calliecopper]

Ian Gallagher Being His Own Person, and Why That's Controversial

A meta about Ian's story during his time away from Mickey, and the hate his character receives for it. Inspired by @dazzle02 :)

How many times have you heard somebody say that they skipped season 8 of Shameless because Mickey wasn't in it? How many times have you heard somebody say that season 7 is only good during Mickey's episodes, or that the story is boring without Mickey in it, or that Ian's S6-8 arc was boring without Mickey? How many times have you heard somebody proclaim that Ian wasn't a good partner to Mickey?

Mickey is undeniably THE fan favorite character of the show, and with that comes a tendency for fans to defend him tooth and nail, even when he is in the wrong, and refuse to see any other points of view. Characters who go against Mickey in any way receive a harsh amount of criticism that sometimes is not fully justified. This applies even to Mickey's main connection to the story: Ian.

During season 5 and onward, some fans hold Ian's actions against him very harshly when I feel he deserves a bit more empathy. Of these, there are three main things people criticize his character for during seasons 5, 6, and 7 that I feel are not given proper analysis and thought by fandom.

Disclaimer before we get in because people feel very passionately about these two: Every interpretation of a character is entirely unique to each individual viewer, and these are just my opinions. This is in no way an anti-Mickey post, so as you read, keep in mind that any criticism toward him is not meant to make him out to be a bad character. Don't bite me.

Season Five: The Breakup of All Time

I think a large part of why people get so upset with Ian for the breakup is because of the growth Mickey experienced in seasons 4-5 leading up to it.

Mickey in seasons 1-3 is in extreme denial of being gay, and when he grows feelings for Ian, he lashes out and treats Ian like shit. Seeing Mickey's slow growth starting in season 3 brought interest to his character, and in season 4 with his major growth during his coming out, he becomes very compelling to a viewer. After all the angst that it took to get Mickey to finally open up, there's a natural desire to see that positive growth and relationship development continue. When Ian throws a wrench in that by breaking up with Mickey in season 5, people get upset, and they're going to direct that toward Ian because he is the easiest to blame.

There's the sentiment of, "Mickey came out for Ian, took care of Ian, and supported Ian when he needed him most despite his faults. Why is Ian leaving Mickey in the dust when he now needs him most?"

This is honestly not an unreasonable thing to feel when looking at things from Mickey's perspective.

But, when you take a look at Ian's character, and you really think of his motivations in that moment, his decision to break up is actually very understandable. Ian didn't break up with Mickey because he thinks Mickey is a bad partner or because he doesn't love Mickey enough. He broke up with Mickey because he thought that's what was best FOR Mickey.

I think comparing the breakup to their fight over marriage in season 10 to be an effective way to understand Ian better.

In season 10:

"How do you know you love me? Huh? How do you really know? I'm bipolar, right? I don't know who I am from one day to the next, and I can't guarantee shit. So why do you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?"

- Ian to Mickey, S10E9

Compare this to this conversation during the breakup:

"You used to love me. Now you don't even know who I am. Shit, I don't know who I am half the time... You don't owe me anything."

"I love you."

"The Hell does that even mean?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12

I feel that Ian's mindset is pretty similar in these two moments. In season 5, he is still grappling with his diagnosis, and he has no frame of reference of how a healthy life with bipolar can look. Everybody has been comparing him to Monica, and he himself seems to oscillate between thinking he is like her and not like her, so in his mind, he has nothing to offer anymore.

Then, in season 10, in his mind he proved himself right. He tried to get his shit in order, lived happily and found peace with his diagnosis, and then he fucked it up. He had an episode, and he lost everything he fought so hard to have. He has practically ruined his life because he DID what he FEARED he would:

"I hate the meds. You gonna make me take 'em?"

"You get fucking nuts when you don't."

"Are you gonna want to be with me even if I don't?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12

That conversation isn't Ian saying he isn't going to take his meds, given how in season six, he IS taking his meds. I interpret his above statement to be a warning to Mickey. Because Monica has tried to get on her meds before, has tried to get better, and has failed many times. IAN has gone off his meds willingly twice now. This is him telling Mickey, straightforward, "I do not like the meds, and there will always be a risk of me deciding not to take them."

And in seasons 8-9, he does exactly that. He goes off his meds, and he destroys everything he built for himself. That's part of the reason why he hesitates to marry Mickey in season 10, and part of the reason he breaks up with Mickey in season 5.

Ian views himself and his disorder to be a burden on the people he loves. He believes that Mickey will be better off without him.

"I don't want you sitting around, worrying, watching me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit."

- Ian to Mickey, S5E12

Because Mickey HAS been doing that. Ever since he was diagnosed, Mickey has been watching Ian like a hawk, acting like a nurse, which frustrates Ian.

"Fuckin' nurse now?"

[...]

"I'm sick of your whiny, pussy crap. I don't need a fucking caretaker, alright? I need the shit-talking, bitch-slapping piece of Southside trash I fell for. Where is he? The fuck is he, Mickey?"

- Ian to Mickey, S5E10

But, of course, Mickey doesn't see it that way. To Mickey, Ian is anything but a burden he wants to unload.

"It means we take care of each other. [...] It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit."

- Mickey to Ian, S5E12.

Mickey would do anything for Ian. He confronted his worst fear by coming out, stayed with Ian even after the infidelity, defended Ian after he kidnapped his son, and tried his best to understand a mental illness he had no prior knowledge about. Yet, Ian still won't commit to him. After everything, he still isn't good enough.

"I'm not saying never!"

"No, you're just saying you don't love me enough now."

- Ian and Mickey, S10E9

And Ian, meanwhile, thinks that HE isn't good enough for MICKEY. He has been diagnosed with a lifelong condition, one that he has seen ruin lives firsthand, something that will be a part of him for the rest of his life, and he doesn't wanna tie Mickey down to that life.

It's all one massive miscommunication.

Finally, I think the part that is the most confusing to fans regarding Ian's mindset during the breakup stems from his moments with Monica in S5E11 and S5E12.

Specifically, the parallels between these two conversations.

"Ian, there's always gonna be people that are gonna try and fix us. And you can never make those people happy. Like it breaks their heart just to look at you."

"Yeah, um, even Mickey now."

"He's your boyfriend, right? [...] I'm sure he means well, but you need to be with people who accept you for who you are. And they're out there. You should never apologize for being you."

- Monica and Ian, S5E11.

Vs.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Too much! Too much is wrong with me. That's the problem, isn't it? Too much is wrong with me, and you can't do anything about that. You can't change it. You can't fix me, 'cause I'm not broken. I don't need to be fixed, okay? I'm me!"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12.

Monica's interpretation of the relationship seems to paint Mickey in a negative light. "He means well, but he doesn't get it," or something along those lines. Based on her previous experiences with the diagnosis, she has come to the conclusion that people like Mickey or Fiona, who try to get them to take medication and are saddened by the diagnosis, are being controlling, and do not love them for who they really are. That's why she always went back to Frank; he actively tried to get her to NOT take her meds or get better, and did not encourage her when she DID try to get better. So, to her, being off her meds IS the TRUE version of herself, and the people who can not accept that do not accept her.

But I think, while Ian's lines parallel Monica's, that he does not think the same way that she does.

Toward the end of season 5, Ian seems to do a complete 180 from his previous statements on his similarities with Monica.

"You flushed your pills? You get thats a full-on Monica move, right?"

"I'm not Monica."

- Ian and Fiona, S5E8

Vs.

" [...] Cause they all say how alike we are."

"That's probably not a compliment."

"Uh... No, I think it is."

- Ian and Monica, S5E11

This happens in the wake of his arrest, after Ian's siblings talk about him to the military police. Many of their comments seem to hit Ian in a way that makes him feel misunderstood or like a burden.

Debbie: But he's been acting crazier for longer than that.

Lip: Yeah, at least this past year.

Officer: How would you characterize his behavior?

Debbie: Compared to how he used to be... He's different.

Lip: He'll go back and forth from, you know, being depressed, to, you know, incredibly wound up. I mean, he ran off with a baby for no reason.

Debbie: He almost hit me in the head with a baseball bat.

Fiona: Our mother was bipolar, so we know what it looks like. She put us through Hell, and- I'm not saying you put us through Hell, but when they're manic they can be destructive.

Officer: In your opinion, does he require medication?

Fiona: Yes.

Officer: Is he unable to care for himself?

Fiona: Sometimes, yes.

So, when Ian talks to Monica when they reconnect, Ian expresses loneliness and a feeling of isolation.

"I'm really glad you came, yknow? I just... I needed someone to talk to who... gets it."

- Ian to Monica, S5E11

When Monica tells Ian to not be ashamed and that she loves him for him, she is kind of acting like his Frank. The meds have been taking a toll, and recovery is so difficult that running with her and getting validation from the only other person who could "get it" is an easy choice to make. I think the combined factors of Mickey treating him so delicately, his siblings laying out his flaws so plainly, and his mother's open acceptance creates a feeling of bitterness or shame, and Ian is hoping to find comfort in his mother.

But it doesn't go the way he expects it to.

At the diner, he thinks that Monica is going to prostitute herself for money, and is relieved when she doesn't. It's likely he was thinking of his own stint at the Fairytale in this moment.

Then, he recalls a moment from his childhood that he does not look upon fondly, only for Monica to refer to it as "good times."

He meets Monica's partner and discovers he is an aggressive teenage meth dealer that she is helping to sell the meth.

I think Ian has a true moment of clarity during this. He had thought that he was vindicated, that everybody else was wrong, that they didn't understand, that Monica was right, and that he was perfectly fine just the way he was. But then he sees what Monica considers to be "a happy life."

"Ian, I'm finally happy. People like us, we can be happy. I love him, and that's the most important thing, to find somebody to love, right? Who loves you back for who you are. I want that for you. I love you. We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay."

- Monica to Ian, S5E12.

Monica's perception of life is warped. What she considers a good life is living in a trailer selling meth. Good memories are traumatic memories for those around her. True love and support is an aggressive teenage dealer, or Frank Gallagher.

A simple drive to Ian was a horrifying kidnapping to Svetlana. Doing a porn that was no big deal to Ian was a betrayal of trust to Mickey. Joining Monica and ignoring the calls of his well-meaning but ignorant family to Ian was a painful and worrisome disappearance to them. Ian's perception HAS been warped, and he's crashing back to reality, realizing that he has run off with MONICA, realizing that he can't continue down the same path as her, and needs to go home.

He's come to accept that he is bipolar. He's internalized what his family has kept repeating, that he is just like Monica, and looking at her living like this, believing that she is living well, is terrifying to him.

So he goes home, believing that he is just like his mother, and he's doomed to be a piece of shit. He goes back, and he breaks up with Mickey. Because he doesn't think that people like him can be happy, and he doesn't think he'll be okay. And that isn't something that Mickey can change. Too much is wrong with him, and Mickey can't do anything about it.

Really, it's just a matter of Ian operating under the "if you love them, let them go" mindset, and Mickey interpreting it as a rejection. It's the two of them both believing they are not good enough for the other and internalizing it instead of properly communicating.

TL;DR: Ian's breakup with Mickey in S5E12 is not done in a healthy OR selfish mindset. To him, he will do nothing but drag Mickey down, and in his unmedicated and clearly altered state of mind, he thinks the best thing is to let him go.

Season Six: Dating Caleb and Other Blasphemy

The first time we see Mickey in season six, it's behind a pane of glass in an orange jumpsuit.

Mickey had tried to murder Sammi, Ian's half-sister, and had been sentenced to prison for 15 years. It's established that Ian has not been to visit Mickey much and is trying to move on past that time in his life. But, upon being bribed by Svetlana, Ian visits, and during this visit Mickey asks Ian a question:

"You gonna wait for me?" - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.

And when Ian shows hesitation:

"Fuckin' lie if you have to, man, eight years is a long time." - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.

So, Ian replies:

"Yeah. Yeah, Mick, I'll wait." - Ian to Mickey, S6E1.

Before even meeting Caleb, fans absolutely tear into Ian for his decision to not commit to Mickey in this moment. They call it selfish, or out of character, or unfair to ice Mickey out when he is going through this difficult time.

But, let's look at it from Ian's position.

Ian has dealt with abandonment issues his entire life, with both Monica and Frank being unstable and infrequent providers during his adolescence. Throughout his relationship with Mickey, they had been separated on three separate occasions, one of which was entirely voluntary on Mickey's part. Now, due to committing a major crime, Mickey has been sent away for up to fifteen years. They would both be in their thirties by the time Mickey would be released, or close to it if he got out early, and that's not even considering that he was actively taking part in jobs / activities that could extend his sentence, like stabbing people.

Ian has dealt with recurring disappointment and abandonment his entire life, and throughout their time together, Mickey hasn't really established himself as stable.

Now, before you bring out the pitchforks;

"But Mickey was there for Ian and supported him through seasons 4-5. He grew as a person and proved he IS reliable."

Yes, that's true. He did undergo massive development that allowed him to be a better partner and more reliable person to Ian. But, canonically that period of time only takes place over a few months.

Mickey, for the better part of 2-3 years, was NOT a good partner to Ian. Multiple years of an unsteady situationship is not so easily forgotten. Yes, Mickey 1000% had valid reasons for acting the way he did. It's made very clear in S3E6 and S4E11 why Mickey hides his sexuality and lashes out when forced to confront it. But that isn't an excuse. His reasons for acting in a negative way towards Ian the first three seasons is understandable, but he went about it in a bad way.

Not to mention that, despite his growth, Mickey has just been sent to PRISON. No matter how you spin it, his decision to go after Sammi was NOT justified and does not necessarily bring forth confidence in his reliability and stability.

It's not unreasonable for Ian to not want to wait for over a decade for a man who has not always been the best for him. It sucks as a viewer who is invested in them, but Ian was not in the wrong.

Beyond (justifiably) selfish reasons, Ian also already thought that he was bad for Mickey, was worried that he would ruin his life, and with Mickey's justification for his torture attempt being that he did it FOR Ian, that Sammi had it coming because of what she did TO Ian, Ian probably felt responsible for that as well. There was probably a level of guilt in Ian from the whole situation, both for Mickey being in prison and for leaving him there.

But from his point of view, it's better for everybody to try and move on.

What really bothers me about this criticism toward Ian is the sense that he OWED Mickey his time and loyalty. Because Mickey had given and sacrificed so much for Ian during seasons 4-5, it's like people think Ian is then obligated to return that for Mickey, no matter what Mickey did. It's a very transactional way to view the situation, and it just leaves me with an icky taste in my mouth. Nobody owes anybody anything in that situation. Ian does not owe Mickey companionship, and Mickey did not owe Ian support when he got put in prison in season 9. Returning to Ian was Mickey's decision to make, and not a decision Ian was obligated to make in season 6.

Now, onto the actual "dating other people" part of the conversation.

For months, Ian has done nothing but get his meds on track while working at Patsy's, then at the janitors job on Lip's campus. During this time, Ian expresses having a very low sense of self-worth.

"He as smart as you?"

"No."

"Yeah, he's smart."

"Lip is the genuis of the family."

"So that gives you an excuse for not finishing [high school]? You seem plenty smart, and Dav's uniform doesn't really suit you."

- Ian, Lip, and Professor Youens, S6E3

And:

"This is it for me, Lip. This job. This is where I land."

- Ian to Lip, S6E3

Which Lip comments on in a very concise way:

"Yknow, he thinks... Being bipolar means he's doomed to be a piece of shit like our mother."

- Lip about Ian, S6E3

Ian feels no sense of purpose during these months. He feels he has no worth and that he is doomed to work a dead-end job and have no happiness. He thinks he is just like Monica.

That only changes when he witnesses an accident on the highway, and he saves a woman's life by pulling her out of a burning car.

This leads us to Caleb.

Now I'll admit, this is where I take issue with the storytelling, because this would've been a PERFECT way to segue into Ian's EMT arc, but regardless of what I personally think would've been better, the way it plays out in canon does actually still make sense for Ian's character.

After saving the woman from the burning car, Ian collapses due to smoke inhalation and exhaustion. A firefighter on the scene provides Ian with oxygen, thus saving his life. Ian immediately fixates on this particular firefighter.

Now, Ian has a very complicated relationship with feeling his emotions post his diagnosis. In season five, when he is numbed by his meds, the only way for him to feel again is through pain, via self-harm or starting physical fights, and sex. In fact, sex plays a major part in many aspects of Ian's life.

From the age of fifteen, Ian had been consistently subject to sexual abuse. He's been used for his body by countless men throughout his teenage years and has been oftentimes reduced merely to his sexuality and what he can provide to his partner. Even Mickey, in season 2, tells Ian as such in a panicked rage.

"You think we're boyfriend and girlfriend here? You're nothing but a warm mouth to me."

- Mickey to Ian, S2E8.

(No, I'm not saying Mickey sexually abused Ian. But he did contribute to the way we see Ian default so heavily to objectifying and sexualizing himself.)

So, due to this recurring trauma, Ian has a tendency to default to sex as the primary way of getting satisfaction, be it emotional or physical.

So, when Ian gets a rush of adrenaline from the crash, after months of that numbness, he chases the emotions in the most effective way he knows how.

Ian goes to the firehouse with cookies to give as thanks to the firefighter who saved him, but with a clear ulterior motive of getting laid. When he finds out that the particular firefighter (who happens to be part of the "gay shift" which is an odd writing choice) he saw on the highway is married, Ian meets Caleb. In this scene, they speak all of one line to each other when Caleb invites Ian to a firehouse softball game. The next time we see them on screen together, Ian acts very flirtatious toward Caleb, which sets forth their relationship.

"You ever pitch?"

"... Usually, but I'm open depending on what you're into. Where we doing this?"

"Follow me."

[...]

"Wait, we're actually playing softball?"

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5

I think Ian receives hate for this simply because he's expressing interest in a guy that isn't Mickey. Fans get the impression that Ian is moving on too fast or that his interest in Caleb is sudden or rushed. However, I think the rushed nature actually works to show Ian's intentions. In this moment, Ian is not really looking for a full-on relationship. Given how little they interacted thus far, the fact that Caleb wasn't even who Ian was originally interested in, and how Ian's comments consistently err on the side of sexual, its safe to say Ian was just looking for a hookup. In fact, it's Caleb who pushes so hard FOR the relationship.

Mickey, in a deleted scene, hooks up with an inmate right after talking with Ian. If Ian's relationship with Caleb had only been a fling or hookup, I don't think Ian would've been as heavily criticized. As it is, fans get upset at this relationship because it IS a relationship. They go on dates, Ian starts staying with Caleb, and really they seem to be very domestic.

But I don't think Ian was as dedicated to the relationship with Caleb as fans make him out to be.

From the jump, Ian seems uncomfortable with the quick-moving pace of it. At first he only seems interested in sex with Caleb, but upon the negative reaction that provokes, Ian conceded to going on a date with Caleb (which is a bit of a slap in the face to Mickey fans after Gallavich's ruined date.)

"[...] I was hoping to get my hands on your hose."

"Is that what this is to you? A fuck?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing. Come on, let's get out of here."

"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."

"Fuck. Okay. Okay. Hey, I'm into you, alright? I thought you were into me."

"I am."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I don't stick my dick in just any guy."

"What do you want, then?"

"Seriously? Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Yeah."

"A date."

"With, like, flowers and chocolate and shit?"

"No, we could skip the flowers."

"Okay. You're on."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5

(Side note, pulling a "is that all this is to you" after two non-romantic interactions is not just quick in terms of hookup culture, which Ian is more attuned to, but is quick in any terms. More on that later.)

During this date, Ian is visibly very uncomfortable. Some would chalk this up to him having never been on a date before, and the writing even seems to imply that,

"Okay, look, I have no idea what I'm doing. My last boyfriend wasn't much of a talker, his idea of a conversation was to insult me a bunch and then punch me right before we banged."

- Ian to Caleb, S6E6

but that's actually not true, DESPITE the writers forgetting that.

"You know, Mickey and I never went out on dates. Ned never took me out, Kash and I fucked in the back of a convenience store, and I don't think jerking off strangers in a nightclub counts, so..."

- Ian to Lip, S6E6.

He actually HAD gone out on a "date" with Ned in season three, where he was visibly less uncomfortable than on his date with Caleb. He also went to many loft parties during his time dancing at the club, wherein he blended in very well and was able to sorta chameleon himself with the northside crowd. I think the show wants us to believe his discomfort is from him "never having been on a date before" or being unfamiliar with a "slower" pace, but I think his discomfort actually would stem from him just genuinely not being interested in Caleb in a romantic way, and thus feeling awkward on a date that's in a more romantic setting (compared to his one with Ned, which was undoubtedly more sexual.)

I also think his discomfort stems from being completely out of his element. Ian has taken a massive hit to his confidence since his diagnosis, so his Southside roots bring about a bit more hesitancy in him than it might have before, and he may be less confident in his ability to chameleon. That's why, during the date, Ian shows discomfort with Caleb when he shows more "class" than Ian.

"Usually, I get a bunch of apps to share. You good with that?"

"[Uncertain hum] ... Appetizers! Sure, yeah, big- big fan of apps."

[...]

"You seem like a very pensive kinda guy. You an only child?"

"Uh, no."

"Brothers and sisters?"

"A bunch, yeah."

"Older or younger?"

"Both."

"What about your parents? Both still alive?"

"... Yeah."

"... Fantastic. I'm learning so much."

[...]

"Where I'm from, people communicate with their fists."

"Where's that?"

"Southside."

"Mmm. Hands of steel. Okay, so you're a street rat. A brawler."

"Is that a problem?"

"Only if you make it one."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.

Then, beyond their first date, we have the actual relationship to dive into.

Throughout his scenes with Caleb, Ian seems to oscillate between neutrality, discomfort, or mild enjoyment in the situations he finds himself in.

There's this interaction, for example, where Ian lets Caleb take charge in defining their relationship:

"So what are we doing?"

"Whatever you want, I guess."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E7.

Or this moment:

"What are you smiling at?"

"I like having you over here. What are you smiling at?"

"I like having a purpose."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.

Or when Caleb invites Ian out with his friends, and we see Ian slip into his chameleon persona, mirroring the petty mannerisms of the most vocal participant of the conversation, as well as avoiding diving too much into his personal history.

"You haven't told me which one is your ex."

"Guess."

"Old guy, pink sweater."

"How'd you know?"

"Ooh, a redhead, Caleb? Does his carpet match his drapes?"

"You're a good sport."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.

[...]

"If we had known you were bringing a middle school student, Caleb, we wouldn't have come to a place that cards."

"Oh, no, it's cool, I don't drink. I hear it makes your skin old and leathery."

"That's-that's how we're playing this?"

"Hey, you threw down first."

"Where you from, kid?"

"Back of the Yards."

"Local boy. What's your story?"

"Story?"

"Who you are, what you do, how did you meet this chocolate bundt cake?"

"Met him at the firehouse."

- Ian and Gregory, S6E8

[...]

"We like this one, Caleb. Don't we, Gregory?"

"I mean, If young, beautiful, and kind of a smartass is something to like, sure, fine, I guess we do."

- Caleb's friends about Ian, S6E8.

OR, in a deleted scene where Caleb expresses frustration at Ian keeping the distance between him and Ian's family, as well as Ian's lack of communication, while Ian seems unbothered or even perplexed by Caleb's frustration.

"So, where'd you sleep last night?"

"Home. Got done at three, told you I'd be late."

"Yeah, like nighttime late, not next day late."

"Well, I didn't wanna wake you, and I had to go back there to grab some stuff: clothes, towels..."

"Where's there?"

"Home, you mean?"

"Yeah."

"Back of the Yards."

"Right. You did mention that once. I still don't know where it is or who I'd call if there was an emergency?"

"Uh... my brother, I guess? Or my sister."

"Brother or sister. Okay. I'll just track down Ian Gallagher's brother or sister on the internet."

"I'll... put their numbers in your phone."

"Great."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E11 deleted scene.

OR any of the follwing:

When they go to get Ian tested for STDs, he is visibly uncomfortable having Caleb in the room with him.

He is only comfortable revealing his bipolar disorder if it is done in exchange for another secret from Caleb.

He isn't very comfortable sharing his past, only references his previous relationship in a lighthearted manner, and he only reveals his sexual history upon feeling pressured to do so, which he purposefully presents in a callous way.

To me, the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship reads as Ian's desperation for validation through sex, which leads to him putting up with a relationship he isn't entirely comfortable in or commited to or ready for. To me, it seems like he's truly just looking for companionship in any way he can get it.

Out of everything, though, I think what really gets to fans most about this storyline is the constant comparison of Caleb to Mickey as a means of demonizing Mickey.

Throughout the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship, there is a constant comparison between the two relationships, seemingly with the intent of painting Mickey as a horrible partner.

When Ian tells Lip about his upcoming date with Caleb, he remarks that he never went on dates with Mickey, which comes off as an unnecessary jab.

During his date with Caleb, Ian talks about his lack of effective communication skills, which reflects negatively on Mickey, to the point Caleb brings forward the idea of domestic abuse.

During the wedding that Ian attends with Caleb, Ian mentions Mickey's marriage to Svetlana, and he uses a tone that comes off as belittling the situation and how difficult it was for Mickey.

There's this line, when Caleb asks Ian to kiss for the first time:

"Can I kiss you?"

"I thought kissing comes after you've had sex a bunch of times."

"Ian, kissing comes whenever you want it to. Even now."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.

Then, there's Mandy stating that Caleb was better than Mickey.

"A hot black fireman. Also an artist."

"Upgrade from my brother."

"I miss Mickey, but uh... This new guy's nice."

- Ian and Mandy, S6E9

These near constant comparisons to Mickey are frustrating to fans, because it can often feel like Ian, or even just the writers and the narrative, are trying to belittle Mickey's character and reduce him to a one-note toxic ex, which completely spits in the face of the development that he went through. THAT is what is most frustrating to fans.

Because it's true that Mickey was not always the best partner. In real life, Mickey would be a walking red flag, and Gallavich would be undeniably toxic. But that applies to EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER in Shameless. That is the entire point of the show. None of them are particularly good people. They all do shitty things, but they all have compelling reasons for doing it. That's why we can look at these characters and feel connected to them instead of just absolutely hating them.

It's a really odd writing choice for a show that focuses on morally gray characters, or the idea that nobody in the show is really a good person, to decide to play moral high ground in this particular instance, and have Ian suddenly turn his nose up at Mickey's behaviors.

But is this really how Ian feels?

Because, as established, Ian is VERY good at playing chameleon. He is good at shaping himself into whatever a partner wants him to be. He mirrors his partners mannerisms, beliefs, and attitudes.

And Caleb, for all that the story wants to make us believe he's better than Mickey, is actually not the best partner either. Not just for cheating on Ian in season seven and then gaslighting Ian about it; he shows some toxic behaviors in season six as well, including being lowkey judgmental about Ian's Southside roots.

Take, for example, Caleb implying that the Southside is trash, but that he can see the beauty in Ian despite being from the Southside:

"That's my latest. I love to find the treasure inside the trash. Trying to find the secret life in things. What it wants to be instead of what it is."

"Is that what you're doing with me?"

"Good question. Can I kiss you?"

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6

(Which, funnily enough, this line from Caleb goes pretty against the sentiment that Monica had in season five, of Ian finding somebody who loves Ian for who he already is, as Mickey did.)

Or, for another example, Caleb judging Ian pretty heavily during the softball game for being "not grown-up." Simply because Ian expresses sexual interest in him above romantic.

"Cmon, let's get out of here."

"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5.

Which, as I pointed out before, is really strange behavior. Participating in hookup culture isn't something that Ian needs to be shamed over. There's a sentiment of "Hooking up is beneath me, it's immature," to Caleb's tone, which is unfair. Now, he has reasons for this, that being his experience with getting HIV from a hookup who lied to him, which draws a pretty interesting parallel to Ian.

"Don't worry, guy I did the scene with said he was clean."

"He didn't use a rubber? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E5.

Vs.

"Guy in college. He lied to me."

- Caleb to Ian, S6E8.

(Which I actually find to be a very interesting plot point and is actually a pretty good scene.)

So, while Caleb was not wrong to put forth a boundary by not hooking up, he was wrong for acting as if IAN was the problem in the situation. Not to mention, his behavior at the game is very strange when taken into account how little they've interacted thus far. He had understandable reasons for his negative reaction, but he went about it the wrong way. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Anyways, I could talk about the relationship between Ian and Caleb more, but that's not what the point of this is.

The point I'm trying to make is that Caleb, however covertly, expresses a negative or biased view toward the Southside lifestyle. And Ian, being the type to mimic his partners, follows along in that.

Ian already fears that he is going to be left. He is afraid that showing Caleb who he really is and not being the idealized version of himself will lead to Caleb breaking up with him.

"I'm enjoying it while it lasts."

"You think he'll dump you?"

"Well, I've told him I'm bipolar, and my family's screwed up, and he took it pretty well. But it's one thing to hear it and another to live it, so... We shall see."

- Ian and Mandy, S6E9

So, he chameleons. He makes himself the treasure in the trash. He distances himself from the image of a brooding, Southside street rat.

Because, after so long of constant pain and numbness during and post his diagnosis, Caleb is the first good thing he's found.

"I haven't been this happy in a long time."

- Ian to Caleb, S6E8.

And really, everything that I just talked about doesn't matter when you think about it that way.

No matter how dedicated or invested Ian was in his relationship with Caleb, it still provided him with companionship and validation, which as we know, is something that Ian has an unhealthy dependence on to find self-worth.

And I don't think Ian was wrong in searching for that connection simply because that connection wasn't with Mickey. He could've been well and truly in love with Caleb, and he wouldn't deserve some of the hate he receives for his canon actions.

It's easy to look at Ian's relationship with Caleb and get frustrated because of all the time that was put into Ian and Mickey's relationship. But beyond the instinctual negative feeling that comes with seeing Ian with anybody other than Mickey, his relationships outside of Mickey deserve to be analyzed and observed for what they actually do for HIS character, and not just immediately cast aside as unnecessary or ooc.

So, to summarize:

Firstly, Ian wasn't selfish for not waiting 15 years for somebody in prison. Whether he was serious about Caleb or not, Ian was under no obligation to dedicate himself to Mickey. Ian did not owe Mickey anything simply because Mickey was there for Ian when shit got tough. If they had been together, sure, Ian would've been a lot shittier for leaving Mickey alone. But as it was, they were broken up, and even if they hadn't been, Ian would've had every right to not want to continue seeing Mickey after his decision to harm Sammi, just as Lip was justified in not wanting to be with Mandy anymore after she ran over Karen.

Secondly, Ian dating Caleb wasn't bad for his character. In fact, I think their relationship in season six was actually a very interesting way to progress Ian's character and get more insight into his mind and how he operates.

Thirdly, Ian and Caleb's relationship deserves to be analyzed for what it is, rather than what it isn't. Just because Ian is not with Mickey doesn't mean that he doesn't undergo some huge development in this season, both in and outside his relationship with Caleb. Furthermore, Ian entering a new relationship gives us the opportunity to see more sides of his character, and as such the relationship should be analyzed as it's own separate entity, and not just as a hurdle in the way of Gallavich.

Fourth, Ian was not just waiting to cast Mickey aside to jump on the next dick possible. I've seen this criticism before, and when looking at his actual arc at the beginning of S6 and analyzing his general character, that's just simply not true. Entering a new relationship is not equal to immediately disregarding Mickey.

TL;DR: The hate Ian gets from this season mainly stems from "Ian date somebody aside from Mickey, bad Ian" without any further thought behind why he enters the relationship and what the relationship actually means to him. There is no separation in the minds of fans between Ian and Mickey, and therefore, Ian having experiences and an identity outside of Mickey is negatively perceived.

Season Seven: Putting His Own Wellbeing First

This one will be less long winded than the previous one, because I have less to say on it, honestly.

During the entirety of Ian's bipolar arc, it is pretty clearly shown that to maintain mental wellness, Ian needs stability.

When Mickey shows up and asks Ian to run away with him to Mexico, that's threatening to uproot every amount of stability Ian has managed to secure the past two seasons of the show.

I honestly don't see as much hate directed toward Ian for his decision to leave Mickey at the border as I see for his previous decisions. I'd say the main thing I actually see directed toward this season is just that Ian's story is boring without Mickey in it. Mostly because he enters another new relationship with Trevor after his relationship with Caleb, which really just follows the cyclical Shameless cycle of, "Don't know what to do with a character? Give them a new love interest!" But because I talked about the judgement for non-Gallavich Ian relationships above, I don't particularly feel like doing a deep dive into the Ian and Trevor relationship in this meta.

What I want to talk about relates to the Mickey Mexico storyline, though, and that's the hate other characters recieve for trying to dissuade Ian from going.

After finding out that Mickey escaped from prison, Fiona and Ian have the following conversation:

"What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep. You ever, uh, think about about what would've happened if you'd run off with Jimmy-Steve?"

"Lying sociopath Jimmy-Steve? My life would be a nonstop psycho-thriller. I definitely dodged a bullet with that one."

"What if nothing ever gives you that same thrill again? Still feel like you dodged a bullet?"

"I don't know. Probably. Where's this coming from?"

"Things have been weird between me and Trevor since Mickey got out."

"You mean since Mickey busted out of prison and has got half the Chicago Police Department circling the Southside looking for him."

"Can't get him out of my head. Just trying to stop myself from doing something I shouldn't."

"You turned your life around. Mickey would set a match to it. You've done really great without him, and I'm really fucking proud of you."

- Ian and Fiona, S7E10.

I've seen this conversation criticized many times because of how "unfairly" Mickey is treated in this scene. But I truly think that nothing said in this scene was wrong, and Fiona was 100% right.

In the past, Fiona has definitely shown a prejudice against the Milkovich family before. Specifically with Mandy, Fiona seems to look down upon her and disapproves of the relationship between her and Lip. This on its own is unfair treatment and is annoying to witness.

But in this particular case, absolutely nothing she is saying is wrong or biased simply because Mickey is a Milkovich.

People take the line, "Mickey would set a match to it," and compare it to his behavior in late Season 4 through season 5, where Mickey is taking care of Ian, and say that Fiona is being untruthful or hypocritical. If Mickey had never been sent to prison, or even if he had just been released legally, and Ian was simply thinking about cheating on Trevor and getting back with Mickey instead of running away with him, then the criticism toward Fiona would be more justified. But as it is, Mickey is a wanted fugitive, and Ian running away with him would make Ian a fugitive as well, and WOULD effectively set a match to the life Ian had spent the past two seasons working toward. He would be giving up a career he worked hard for and fought to have, he'd be living in stressful conditions on the run, he'd have no support system, and he would have less ease of access to his medication. Running with Mickey would have been the wrong decision for Ian's wellbeing, and honestly, Mickey should never have asked Ian to go with him.

I think that many people have rose colored glasses on when it comes to Gallavich, specifically with Mickey, and that makes it harder to view these moments unbiased. But, looking at it objectively, Mickey was so wrong for asking Ian to come with him to Mexico. He KNOWS that Ian needs stability with his bipolar diagnosis, and he KNOWS that this would be a stressful life he'd be forcing Ian into.

Simply put, he's acting selfishly in that moment. Having your own interests in mind is not always a bad thing, but in this specific case, Mickey would have thrown a huge wrench into Ian's life is Ian hadn't made decisions in HIS best interest.

Again, I have less to say on this as I did other subjects, because to me it feels much more cut and dry. Mickey was in the wrong here 100%, Fiona was not being wrongfully judgmental toward Mickey, and Ian was not in the wrong for not going with Mickey.

After so long of seeing them apart, it makes sense to want to see them together again. So when Ian, again, is the one making the decision to end their relationship, fans are going to lash out at him and those around him.

But it's important to put aside biases and allow your favorite character to be in the wrong occasionally. Mickey is not perfect, and criticism against him, both from characters in the show and fans, is not unfounded nor unjustified.

TL;DR: Mickey was wrong for asking Ian to uproot his life and run to Mexico, and calling that out isn't defamation of his character.

To End This Yap Session:

Ian is by no means a faultless character, and he is not exempt from criticism both inside and outside of his relationship with Mickey. However, I often feel that the criticism he faces is for the wrong reasons, and not much contemplation or exploration is done on him as much as it is for Mickey.

I love Mickey. He's an amazingly complex character, and his relationship with Ian is one of my favorite parts of the show. But in being a complex character, he is also an imperfect character.

I feel that many fans get very protective over their favorite characters, to the point that anything that goes against that character's interests is labeled as bad, and any criticism toward his character is disregarded immediately.

In this particular case of Gallavich, I feel that post season three, fans often see things from Mickey's point of view without looking at Ian's as much. This meta was simply to give my own thoughts on Ian's most "controversial" moments among fans. Obviously this is mostly condensed to season six and his relationship with Caleb, which I feel is the biggest example of jumping to conclusions and only seeing the surface level of his character.

However, I would like to acknowledge that Ian is also an insanely popular character in the Shameless fandom. While he is misunderstood in many instances, he is given much more sympathy and understanding than many other characters in the show, especially many of the female characters. This long-winded meta is only focused on the concerning tendency for fans to link Ian's identity to Mickey entirely without allowing him to be an individual, but a majority of the time he is still a beloved character who is treated favorably by fans. Compared to a character like Debbie, Ian sees much more support, and I feel that the energy I put toward this meta and trying to understand Ian should also be applied to (almost) EVERY character in the show.

Anyways feel free to leave thoughts.

[genericpuff]

life update!

I've finally gotten enough work done on my teeth that I can take a bit of a break from all the dentist trips, I do still have some work left to get done but the worst is over. 6 teeth pulled, a root canal, and like 4 fillings later, and I'm no longer in constant pain. I'm so relieved. I'll probably be booking my next appointment in a month or two, after I've mentally recovered from all the dental trauma LMAO

But the biggest update by far - I've also been getting my tattooing going again! It took a few weeks of rebuilding my setup from what I had to leave behind at the shop, but it's all coming back together now! I'm now running a private setup and so far, it's been great :>

I did feel some slight regret after leaving the shop, the typical "wait, was that really the right decision?" type regret that always comes after making a big life change. But just like with any amount of change, now that everything's back together and settled enough that I can book appointments with my clients again, I'm a lot more confident in my decision. I think what really cemented it for me was when I did a 4 hour sternum piece the other day and actually undercharged for it, and yet I still made more from undercharging for that 4 hour piece than I would have at my shop if I charged my usual hourly - because 50% of it would have gone to them and I would have been left with less overall.

Of course, the money wasn't the only reason I left. By the end of it, I just didn't feel comfortable working in that environment anymore, it caused me a lot of stress and put a lot of unnecessary pressure on me that wasn't paying off, and all of it clashed with my auDHD which exacerbated my issues there. I didn't feel like my efforts were appreciated, so I subsequently didn't even feel like making an effort there anymore. By the end I was tired and frustrated and it almost had me convinced that I just wasn't cut out for this game.

But the game's not over, I'm just playing it by my rules now, not anyone else's. My booking schedule is still pretty much as slow as it was when I was at the shop, but at least now I get to keep everything I make, I get to order everything I want/need, I get to actually write off my own expenses because I'm the one ordering everything for myself rather than a middleman, I get to have my own space that isn't constantly subject to the whims and demands of a shop owner making decisions on my behalf (and often without consulting me), and I get the freedom of knowing that my schedule is entirely mine, without the expectation that I owe my time and energy to a shop that wasn't meeting me halfway in their own efforts.

All that ranting aside, there's a reason that so many artists have been leaving behind the shop life and transitioning into private booths over the past couple years. Shops just stopped making it worth it.

That's not to say I don't ever want to work in a shop again, I do miss the camaraderie, the daily opportunities to look at other's work and get insight from them, and not to mention the expo opportunities which the shop did provide at least twice a year. Shops offer their own unique experiences that were still good for me in a lot of ways (at least when they weren't to my detriment), especially when I was still honing my craft and needed direct guidance from others.

But I'm gonna be just fine on my own. Just knowing I don't have to balance my responsibilities between a shop owner and my own priorities has already been a huge relief off my shoulders. It's allowed me to find my love for this craft again and it's reminded me that I am capable of weathering the storms and standing firm in this industry.

[mimimui]

genshin boys when you're sick

includes: albedo, childe, scaramouche, tighnari

tags: established relationship, fluff, endearments, teasing from scaramouche, scara has an anemo vision here

a/n: I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR SCARA + it was only supposed to be hcs but i got carried away :') tmi i should be bedridden rn so idk how i'm still able to write this .. enjoy !

"(y/n)," albedo calls out, moving from his desk to your bedside. it's been a while since you stepped foot in dragonspine, so the effects its weather had on you wasn't surprising. "are you feeling better?" he asks, to which you reply with a painful cough.

albedo sighs worriedly, bringing his hand to your forehead to assess your body temperature. "i can't let you stay at my tent, your temperature won't go down here," he says, thinking of ways to bring you back to mondstadt. you're wrapped up in his coat, shivering from the cold.

"bedo, i'm fine," you say weakly to reassure him. "we can walk down dragonspine, i just need to wear more layers." you sit up from the bed, but then your spliting headache makes you wince. "ow..." you complain, and albedo is quick to wrap his arms around you.

"my love, i'll ask for knights to pick you up from here." albedo rubs your back gently, letting you rest your head on his shoulder. his comfort doesn't take away the pain of your headache, but it's reassuring. "thank you, bedo," you say softly.

"i'll take care of you while they get here. get well soon, my love."

childe is instantly worried about you when teucer tells him you've been in bed all day. he opens the door to his bedroom to see you wrapped in a mountain of blankets. usually, he'd find it cute, but he has a feeling you're sick.

"darling, i'm home," he says, pulling the blankets down to see you sniffling underneath. he regrets answering to his mission when he sees you sick. "(y/n), i'm sorry, i shouldn't have left you alone." childe quickly damps a towel with cool water, placing it on your forehead gently.

"it's okay, ajax, you didn't know." you hold his hand and smile weakly at him. his pouting face easily makes you laugh, but your happiness is short-lived as you sneeze again, which makes childe squeeze your hand. "i can go to the pharmacy to get you medicine, but i don't want to leave you alone again..."

"i'll be fine, you can head out to the pharmacy."

"maybe i can ask tonia to head out for me-"

"ajax." he laughs at your suddenly stern tone, saying he was just joking.

"i'll be back, darling. wait for me, will you?"

constant 'i told you so's flood your ears as you watch scaramouche wring your jacket before hanging it on a branch. you two were casually out on a walk when it began to rain. this didn't stop you, however, as you cheerfully ran around.

scaramouche took protection from under a tree, scoffing as he sees you enjoying the rainfall. the rain has since then stopped, and now your sopping, sneezing, body sits next to his legs. "i told you the rain would make you sick."

"i know, you've told me like, 20 times now." you cross your arms as you sneeze again, earning a loud sigh from scaramouche. he finally sits down, but you don't look at him, as you sneeze once more in the other direction.

his constant scolding was getting a bit irritating until you felt a gust of wind coming from beside you. you turn to look at scaramouche, whose head was facing the other way. his hand was producing a constant source of anemo, which was slowly drying your clothes.

"you always play in the rain and get sick and guess whose liability you become? mine!"

"i'm sorry..." "ha? why are you sorry? anyway,"

lucky for you, tighnari is the best at taking care of others when they're sick. he knows exactly what medicine they need and how much rest they should get. "stay in bed, dearest, you're still sick." one problem: he doesn't let you do anything.

even if it's just a small cough or cold, he's quick to make sure you stay in bed. he always makes sure to stay with you though, so it's not all that bad. when he has to go out, he asks collei to watch you for him. of course collei is worried about you as well, but she at least lets you have a little more freedom.

"don't tell tighnari you let me go out, okay?" you and collei went for a stroll just outside your hut, the nice breeze being easy to breath in. "i won't (y/n)," she whispers, not wanting to get caught by the other forest rangers who don't know you're out of bed.

as you and collei enjoy your stroll, you hear a familiar voice in the distance, and a shiver runs down your spine. "..collei, i have to run," you tell her, and she nods her head. tighnari got back earlier than you thought, and he caught you both outside the hut. "(y/n)! hey!"

you run, or rather, jog, away from tighnari as he (slowly) chases you. you laugh as you playfully scream, the other forest rangers admiring the sight of the two of you playing cat and mice. when he finally catches up to you, he grabs your wrist and drags you back to your hut. "nari, i just wanted to go for walk."

"i know, but as your caretaker, it's my job to look after you. get better first, and then we can walk all you want."

thanks for reading (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[shyve3]

Messy Season 1 Finale Rant

SPOILERS!!

first things first:

i owe the "Buddy is a key theorists" a MASSIVE apology. holy shit you guys are actually geniuses.

i read some of the finale theories, and one of them mentioned that the fact that Nox referred to one of the keys as an "it" in the first few episodes, meaning it could've been possible he was turned into a key at some point, leading him to refer to Violet as an actual person.

Dreams by Night was a really confusing episode to me, but i feel like it ties in a lot with what happened this season and possibly WHY he's a key.

The lock suggests that he's been trapped, and later in Dreams by day we see another panel of him locked up. That also makes me wonder if it was around this time he was turned into a key, and his "original" body or however he looked in stories was TRAPPED in a coffin like this one.

Anyone else who theorized about Dreams by Day, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like this dream wasn't JUST a thing Chase imagined. It was also Nox's story.

like he looked absolutely terrified in both panels, and we can assume that maybe this was a memory of Nox's that we witnessed?

it would also make sense why "Buddy" had the number "2" written on the back of him. it would be like he wasn't a key at the time.

Even before we saw this episode, I always used to wonder how the keys really came to be. I know they're meant to go into stories, but I genuinely feel like they were once human. Especially after seeing this episode, where he had a desire to be free.

At first I think his wish would've been directed to his "leaders" of Ex-Libris, probably something selfish and horrible assuming they're basically holding Buddy hostage.

Maybe after he was turned into a key he has a little less anger towards Chase?? Now, the conversation with Violet shows his desire to be free.

But it hurt my heart to see his hopelessness even after kissing Chase. For Chase, it was amazing, but to Buddy it was "nothing could come out of this" ARGHHH

This is also so huge because guys, the Keys are People Too ;) But literally this time!! I KNEW it but this is so amazing

There were 4 missing keys, hence the 4 marks on his chest. We know where 3 of the keys are, but we know nothing of the 1 key. What if Buddy was turned into a key because of this, as a "punishment" ?

this rant literally makes no sense but im NOT okay after the finale and i need to think about this more because what the hell. i seriously need time to piece things together.

yes thats me right now.

[dewracle]

Hi! Could I request a fic where IV is y/n’s bf, and he owes Vessel a favor. And Vessel wants nothing more than to fuck y/n while he makes IV watch. Fem AFAB y/n please 🥰

The Debt That I Owe

PAIRING - IV x Reader, Vessel x Reader, Vessel x Reader x IV

WARNING - NSFW! Threesome F/M/M, Dom/Sub, Cuckolding, Overstimulation, Creampie, Kink Negotiation, Polyamory Negotiation, Switch IV, Dom Vessel, Mentions of Cock cages, Polyvess mentioned, Cumplay

AUTHOR'S NOTE - I've honestly sat on this request for so long that it's not funny. I struggled till I got inspo from my friends <3

WORD COUNT - 5782

Master List - Ao3

Vessel crowded IV into a corner, leaning over him with his arms caging the other in. His voice was smooth with a hint of a tease at the slightly shorter man in his grasp. IV growled softly, trying but failing to push Vessel off of him, fuck he had made a mistake. “Come on, you owe me… You know what I want.”

IV knew, knew that Vessel wanted you, his girlfriend. Wanted him to step away and allow him to fuck you in front of him, to take you apart while mocking the guitarist.

He grunted softly and tilted his head up, glaring deeply into Vessel’s eyes.

“If I don’t want to? Don’t wanna ask her?” IV retorted, now turning his pushing grip into a holding one.

The singer leaned down, getting closer to IV’s ear. He hummed softly and let out a breathy chuckle, “I can take you then.”

His breathing hitched as he shook his head, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. IV knew how Vessel was, the singer wasn’t afraid to take what he wanted in different ways and knew the singer wanted all of his mates.

He sighs softly and pulls Vessel closer, turning his head to ghost the mouth of his mask over Vessel’s ear. “I’ll ask her but what more do you want…”

Vessel shocked IV by running his hand up his chest, resting it gently around the guitarist’s throat. “You will watch. Watch me break her on my cock…”

IV nodded and pulled away from Vessel, slipping out from under his arms. The talk would be difficult but he could try.

Begrudgingly the guitarist had called you that night on the tour bus. It was completely normal for the two of you to talk but with the guilt of Vessel's request, the conversation weighed heavily on IV's mind. He feared your reaction, the silence he knew he'd receive on the other end of the line.

"Baby, can I ask you a serious question?" IV prompted while fidgeting with the string of his sweatpants. The bus hummed softly in the background as they traveled to the next city. They would be staying there for a couple of days to collect themselves.

You mumble a soft yes to his question, the time difference had always been something the two of you struggled with during tour. Yet your relationship pushed on and grew even stronger.

The soft yawn from your end of the line made IV chuckle softly, he had almost forgotten the time difference of nearly 8 hours. "Would you... I don't know how to ask this, shit"

His confession made you perk up slightly your normally confident boyfriend was stumped? The sounds of sheets rustling could be heard from IV's phone. He knew you were sitting up in bed, something you often did when you were getting serious. "What is it, love? What's wrong?"

Your question hung in the air while IV eyed the direction of Vessel's bunk. He knew the singer wasn't asleep but rather taking some time for himself. This made him even more nervous to ask but there was no time for him to be alone to do this.

"Vessel- He asked me to ask you something. You can always say no if you don't feel comfortable, okay?" IV stressed the ending while letting out a sigh of nervousness.

You paused and nodded before correcting yourself, "Yeah, uh, what did he wanna ask?"

It was clear you were hesitant about whatever was being asked, this wasn't normal at all. "He wants to fuck you..."

The call was silent like IV had expected, yet he didn't try to recover the conversation. This was something he needed you to think about without his anxious rambles.

"What else?" The seriousness and firmness in your voice surprised IV.

The fourth chuckled nervously and shrunk back into his pillow, fuck he didn't expect to get this far into the talk. "Well, he wants me to watch... I think maybe play with him afterward?"

You hummed softly while thinking. It was common knowledge that your relationship with IV was his primary relationship, he was also a part of a polycule with the others. He tended to keep it mostly platonic besides the occasional kiss on stage and touch. It was rather complicated but you never pushed.

This never bothered you, in truth, you had known about the others before your relationship even began yet still he always came to you for permission. Sometimes you'd joke you were his keeper and his relationship with the others was simply a friends-with-benefits thing.

"When? Your tour doesn't end for.." You pause to look at the calendar countdown on your phone, " Almost 24 days?"

IV hummed softly and thought about their schedule, they did have 2 days before their next show. He sighed softly and pulled the phone away from his ear to look up the fastest flights to the area they were traveling to.

"We have a small break, come then." His normal confidence coming back in that moment, of course, he'd suggest soon.

You laugh softly as your phone pings in your hand, a flight plan already being sent to you. You check the city and your nose turns up slightly yet you don't complain.

"I need to get some sleep if I'm going to catch this flight in the morning then." You mumble softly, your shared apartment buzzing with your excitement.

IV nodded and allowed you to hang up before he placed his phone on his bare chest. The sigh of relief was regretful as Vessel popped his head into the curtains of his bunk.

The man's unmasked eyes stared into IV's blue-gray ones, a soft, excited smile plastered on his face. The guitarist huffed and pushed Vessel back with a palm on his face.

"So I'm getting what's owed to me?" Vessel laughed as he moved back away from the annoyed IV.

"Yes! Now lay back down, Jesus!" IV huffed and rolled to face the wall. Just great, he was going to have to watch one of his best friends fuck his girlfriend.

###

Your back hit the soft fluffy mattress with a giggle. You had decided to make the most out of the short trip and get a hotel room that you could stay in. Well, truthfully, IV had demanded you allow him to book you a room near the band. He had said that you deserve your own privacy after and there was no way you could stay with him since he was roomed with III.

It didn't bother you since the room you were given was far enough away from everyone that no one would bother you. Plus due to being the partner of one of the band members, no one would mess with you because of security.

You sigh and roll over to grab your phone to check your messages. There were a few notifications from random socials such as Instagram but the one that caught your attention was a text from Vessel. Normally the singer would go through IV to talk to you but this was a direct message.

"Settled in yet?" The question was simple yet it made you blush. Of course he wanted to know, he was the one who had helped set up your room after all.

You pondered your response before sending a simple reply. "Yeah! Thank you for helping IV!"

Awkwardness radiated from your text message, of course; you were nervous. Yes, you were "friends" with the other members of the band but not as close as many would think.

Your nerves were knocked out of you as your hotel room door opened. You tensed up but relaxed when you noticed it was just your boyfriend coming in. The grimace on his face turned into a soft smile when he noticed you were wearing one of his old band t-shirts.

IV left the door cracked without your knowledge as he slipped into the room slowly. He kneeled on the bed and ran his hands up the back of your legs to your ass. "Hi love..."

You shudder as he squeezes your ass gently, the booty shorts you had put on after your shower doing little to protect you against his hungry glaze. IV flips you over, manhandling you so your legs are spread over his thick thighs. "I've missed you."

The soft yet heated tone of his voice made you shudder, fuck you had missed his touch. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down into a gentle kiss. He returns it with love, slowly lowering his hips to rest on you.

The pressure against your core forced a gentle moan out of you against his lips. IV smiled into the kiss but gasped when your fingers trailed up into his hair, gently pulling at the thick dark locks.

The guitarist pulled away from you to prop himself on his elbows above you. The denim of his jeans rubbed roughly against the insides of your thighs. "You look so pretty like always, my sweet bunny."

You shudder and play with the hair at the nape of your boyfriend's neck. "And you look as handsome as always... Maybe even better. Tour does you good."

The two of you chuckle softly at your comment but it was true. IV had always looked so good while on tour, it took everything out of you not to fly to visit him more often.

“Well, you get me for a few days if you stay for the concert..” He mumbled softly as he leaned to place gentle kisses on your neck.

A soft sigh of relief leaves you as his kisses trail across your neck leaving thick, dark hickeys in his wake. You couldn’t help but smile lazily as you slowly ground your hips up against the other.

IV chuckles softly and pushes back, the slight bulge in his pants growing as the two of you lazily hump one another. He wanted to take his time, not knowing when he could have you again.

“Someone’s needy…” IV teased softly while one of his hands drifted under your shirt, reaching to cup your breast.

Your breathing hitches softly as his grip on your breast tightens. A soft pathetic whine releases from your mouth, and you can't help but feel needy after so long of not having your partner.

"So are you," You moan softly while pulling at IV's hair. "I can feel how hard you are against me."

The guitarist grunts as you pull his hair and shoots you a soft warning glare. You couldn't help but laugh softly as he tried to intimidate you with his pretty eyes.

An impatient look falls over his face as he sits up on his knees to carefully slip his hands under the legs of your shorts. You raise an eyebrow and open your mouth to speak but are cut off by your own shocked moan.

IV's fingers brushes gently against your clit under your loose shorts. His thumb presses gently at the bud with a soothing intoxicating circle. "What's wrong, love? Gonna brat off to me again?"

You shake your head while tensing your legs to push yourself up against his thumb. Your boyfriend notices and gives you a cocky smile, he knows he has you right where he wants. Under his thumb, moaning his name so perfectly.

He applies the tiniest bit more pressure as his other hand drifts to your weeping hole. IV's rough pointer finger brushes over it, testing just how wet you were already from simple teasing.

"Fuckin drenched like a slag already aren't ya?" His accent getting thicker with arousal, Christ it was heaven on earth.

IV shifts his hands away as the ache in his cock gets to be too much. The bulge tenting his jeans so perfect for you.

Once you were able to catch your breath you whined softly at the removal of his hands. "IV- Don't tease me... Need you so fucking bad."

The fourth chuckles and coos at you softly while stripping you of your shorts and panties. His fingers leave goosebumps in their wake as they pull the barriers away. IV groans softly at the sight of your glistening cunt.

You attempt to squirm your hips in his direction, to get your lover to touch rather than just stare at you. Needy whimpers and mewls fall from your mouth. The old band T-shirt running up just over your chest to give IV just a glimpse of your pretty tits.

"IV I need you- Need you to take my cunt please..!" You whine loudly while reaching down to spread your pussy lips with your fingers. The sticky slick sticking to your fingers as your cunt pulses with need.

IV clenches his hands as he takes a deep breath to calm down, he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you by taking you too quickly.

But he doesn’t have the option to do anything. The door he had 'forgotten to close' all the way creaks open as heavy footsteps enter the hotel room.

Your body tenses and you quickly search for something to cover yourself with. Who the hell would just walk into your hotel room? Wasn't this floor rented out by the band and management?

"Looks like you started without me, hm? Poor things are so needy~" You knew that voice; a voice you've heard countless times.

With wide eyes, you look at IV as he leans over you in an attempt to cover you. The defeated look on his face was clear as Vessel stepped beside the bed. He wore a shit-eating grin and his beaten Alpha Wolf hoodie.

"Isn't it lovely to see you, darling." The singer coos at you gently, his smirk growing into a full-on smile when he notices your shorts tossed to the side.

IV places his forehead on your shoulder, his body fully covering yours to hide you away. The sigh from his mouth gave away how frustrated yet defeated the man truly was. "Vess, why now? Why can't I have this one thing."

You were confused as you slowly dragged a blanket over your still throbbing cunt. It was awkward trying to over yourself from your boyfriend's best friend, the same best friend who said he wanted to fuck you.

The thought of Vessel fucking you caused you to whimper softly, the idea of someone's cock plunging in and out of your sweet hole turning you on.

The two men look at you as you whimper, IV sitting up quickly while Vessel tilts his head with pride. "Oh fuck off! You can't expect me not to still be horny when I haven't been fucked in a while!"

Your confession causes the guitarist to smile and Vessel to chuckle quietly. A blush rises on your face as the singer kneels on the bed beside you, inviting himself into your space. Your breathing hitches as IV shifts the blanket away from you.

The frantic yet aroused look on your face catches Vessel's eye. "Hey, look we don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

"I know we asked but if you're second-guessing it's completely fine love." IV gently explains to you while cupping your cheek. The overwhelming amount of comfort and reassurance caused a soft plea to escape your mouth.

You shift up onto your elbows, completely ignoring the fact your cunt was now bare for Vessel to see if he chose to. "Not second guessing, just nervous you know? Gonna fuck my boyfriend's best friend."

Vessel chuckles softly and sits on the bed with his legs crossed. The grey sweatpants he's wearing do little to hide the twitch of his cock. It was clear your words had a small effect on the man.

"I don't mind, you know darling? Couldn't have let anyone else" IV spoke as he ran his rough palms up your inner thigh, squeezing hard enough for a bruise. You suck in a deep breath of air and throw your head back.

Fuck you were actually about to fuck the lead singer with your boyfriend, his guitarist, watching.

Unintentionally you spread your thighs open further across IV's lap, your body needing and craving more touch. The soft throb of your clit proved to you just how horny you were for these men. "Fuck please, Christ, I need something, anything!"

"Move." Vessel demands. His tone left no room for disobedience and IV knew this.

Your boyfriend pulls himself away from you quickly, scrambling to get off the bed out of fear of punishment. The action pulled a soft whine from you. You had said you wanted more yet he was pulling away?

Your attention was brought back to Vessel as he snapped his fingers, pointing to the nearby chair. "Sit boy." Oh. Oh you understood now.

If you were not soaking wet before, you were now. You had never seen your mostly dominant boyfriend being controlled so easily. This was what Vessel had been hiding behind those soft smiles.

"As for you pretty girl, is it okay if I touch you?" The singer asks softly. You nod your head, slightly breathless as the man crawls between your legs.

Vessel was so careful as he inspected your body, taking in all your beauty. You couldn't help but squirm at his attention, to try and cover yourself pathetically with your hands. Even though IV had always had such an intense gaze when he was touching you, this was something new.

"Fuck, Vess, she's soaked for you" IV offhandedly mentioned while scooting the chair closer.

You wanted to react, to thank your dom but Vessel was already on top of it. "And she's all mine tonight, isn't that right princess?"

The whiplash between how Vessel treated you and IV made you blush. He was being so gentle with you yet so harsh with IV. You couldn't help the soft "Yes sir" that fell from your mouth.

Vessel's lustful smirk made you whimper softly, it felt as though he was eating you alive with just his eyes. He seemed to enjoy the soft sounds you made because his large hand gently pushed yours away. He uncovered your cunt, your pussy grool dripping onto the bed underneath you.

You can hear IV take a deep breath at the sight, he seemingly eye fucking you as well. It was difficult not to shy away from both of the men's heated looks. "Are we just looking tonight...?"

You yelp softly as Vessel slaps your thigh, reprimanding you for your smart mouth. "And here I thought you'd be a sweet thing for me."

He rubs over the reddened skin to soothe the gentle pain. Vessel's hands slowly moved closer to your cunt from its place on your inner thigh. Finally, you were going to get what you craved so desperately.

"I'm sorry sir..." You smile softly and spread your legs further, "How can I make it up to you?"

The singer knew what you were hoping for, knew you were trying to egg him on to fuck you sooner. Your pretty soft eyes, those kissed red lips, you were using your beauty to get what you wanted. Yet he didn’t cave in like your dear boyfriend normally would.

“Sit back and keep looking pretty,” Your smile dropped slightly, “Gonna have IV get me nice and hard for you, yeah?”

Oh but you couldn’t help the groan that ripped from your throat, nor could IV as he shifted excitedly in his chair. You’ve never seen the two play with one another so you were excited to see how IV would handle Vessel.

Vessel lazily looked in IV’s direction, “Wet me, boy.”

You spread your legs more to prepare to move thinking IV would need space. Yet the hand on your thigh gripped tighter and Vessel shot you a look that made another wave of slick dribble from your cunt.

“Jesus fuck sir…” IV mumbles while he crawls to kneel beside you and Vessel. He leans down carefully, face flushed red when his eyes catch yours.

Vessel, getting impatient with the slow movements of your boyfriend, fisted the other’s hair. He roughly pulls him closer to his cock while staring deeply into your eyes.

“Enjoying the show, my darling?” Vessel teased before he felt IV’s soft lips wrap around his tip.

Your eyes widen as IV’s soft mewls fill the room. It was common knowledge IV knew how to suck cock yet you’d never seen it with your own eyes. The cocky man you love, your dom, your hunter was reduced to a cock hungry whore just like you.

Vessel noticed your reaction and smirked pridefully. The man was ruining everything about your expectations in the best way. His large hand squeezes your inner thigh and inches closer to your cunt.

Your breathing hitches as he traces the seam of your pussy lips. Vessel groaned from the wetness of your cunt and IV’s mouth. “Two needy subs at my disposal…”

Vessel’s fingers easily work their way down to your hole, he gathers the slick steadily dripping from you. You have to bite your lip to stop from moaning out as those skilled fingers slowly breach you.

Your legs twitch to close but you are stopped by IV’s hand on your thigh. His grip was tight as he forced you to take in Vessel’s fingers.

“Fuck! Your- oh my god, your fingers…” You squirm as Vessel crooks them upwards, curling them repeatedly.

His hips buck into IV’s mouth at your moan, the singer not being able to help himself from the pleasure. He wanted to feel your wet cunt wrapped around him soon. “My fingers? They feel that good to you?”

He teases a third finger into you as your body begins to shake. Vessel curses as IV swallows around him. Your boyfriend knew from your moans just how much you were enjoying yourself, just how wet you were. It didn’t help that the soft squishing sounds of your cunt were coupled with the gagging of his throat. Vessel almost couldn’t help himself.

He yanks IV off of his cock, groaning loudly as he curls in on himself. The singer’s cock throbbed painfully due to denying himself the satisfaction of coming.

IV lets out a soft whine as he chases after Vessel's throbbing cock. "Sweet boy, go sit back down while I take what’s owed to me."

You shiver with wide eyes at how easily Vessel was able to control IV, his lips were bruised red from the intense sucking. It made you crave kissing IV in hopes of tasting Vessel’s cock on his tongue.

You moan softly and relax into the sheets as Vessel pushes one of your thighs upward to give himself better access to your cunt.

Both of the men couldn’t help the soft groans they let out. IV’s was needy as his cock throbbed in his pants and Vessel’s was needy from the way your pussy lips gently parted for him.

“Sir- Fuck, please come on, fuck me.” You pleaded while fisting the sheets tighter.

Your pleas only make Vessel chuckle as he spits on your cunt. You jump slightly before moaning loudly as the thick saliva slides down to your open hole.

“Only because you beg so beautifully, princess.” Vessel muses as he grips his cock almost painfully tight.

He shuffles closer to your cunt before collecting his spit with his tip. The action made you shudder with a soft, breathy moan, the tip of his prick teasing at your hole so deliciously. “Your cunt is trying to suck me in already..”

You keen and push your hips down, subsequently forcing the tip of Vessel’s cock inside of you. You gasp at the penetration and your legs begin to shake from the simple pleasure. While IV’s cock was big, Vessel’s felt bigger.

It burned, the stretch forcing your walls apart further than ever before. And, oh, did it fuel Vessel’s pride as he slid further into your soaking wet pussy.

“Oh, look IV, she’s struggling to take my prick. Maybe it’s because she’s finally getting a real man’s dick in her.” Vessel chuckles sadistically before it is cut off with a grunt. His teasing had made you tighten around him almost painfully.

IV took a deep breath to calm himself, Vessel’s teasing and your soft moans edginghim on. His grip on the chair tightened as Vessel pushed deeper into you.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as Vessel completely slid into you. The soft squish of your cunt caused the singer to shudder.

“Fucking hell... Her cunt is so damn good. Might have to steal you for myself, princess.” Vessel teased while thumbing at your clit to ease your discomfort.

You arched your back and squirmed from the intense fullness coupled with the pleasure. “Oh god… move.. please”

Vessel couldn’t help but smile and slowly pull out of your pussy. His cock now coated with a thin layer of your juices. “Beautiful girl, taking all of my cock like you were made for it. Made for me.”

He pushes back into you, starting a rough pace. His filthy words cloud your mind as the presence of your boyfriend floats away. It was you and the man between your legs, his cock forcing its way into you and molding you for him.

“She’s already fucked stupid IV, fucking gagging for it.” Vessel groans lowly as he shifts closer to you. He grabs your jaw and forces you to look in the direction of IV.

The fourth sat with a tight grip on the chair, cock clearly straining against his pants and leaving a small dark spot from pre. You moan at the sight, your eyes clouded over as your cunt pulses around Vessel’s throbbing prick.

“Look at him. Sitting there watching me fucking ruin you. Got that dumb dog look on his face.” Vessel whispers harshly in your ear before kissing down your neck.

You moan loudly and then cut off into a silent scream as the singer sinks his sharp teeth into you. Your hands fling to grab Vessel’s shirt to hold him closer to you. The pain was blinding as was the pleasure.

“Fuck! Please, please sir, please!” You begged and babbled. Your legs wrapped around Vessel and his hand.

He chuckled as he pulled away from the bite mark, a line of spit connecting him to you. “Please what? Tell me what you want princess..”

IV’s gruff voice shocked your system, all your training keeping you strung high for him. “She wants to cum, Vessel... Give her permission to soak you.”

It was Vessel’s turn to moan at IV’s words. He had never heard him talk so filthy about you, he fucking loved it.

“You wanna cum on my cock, yeah?” Vessel grunts while shifting his hips to target your g spot.

All of the air was knocked out of you as your body began to shake with need. “Yes sir! Please, need to cum, please!”

Your pathetic babbles grew louder as you shook your head from side to side, no amount of restraint would stop you from coming soon. Vessel could tell, could feel the way your cunt tried to push him out. He gave a feral grin before quickly sitting up to give IV a better view of his cock plunging in and out of your needy pussy.

“Cum for us.” Vessel demands with a thick groan.

And that was all the permission you needed. Your orgasm racked over your body with deep waves of pleasure. Your cunt pushing Vessel’s cock out of it to soak him in your squirt.

As you moaned and shook, Vessel’s fingers never left your clit, dragging your orgasm out for longer. Yet once it died down, he slotted his cock right back inside of you.

IV’s eyes widened as he went to stand up; he knew you were exhausted and would be needy for love afterward. “Sit down boy. She can handle it. Already begging for more.”

Vessel commanded heavily as he chased his own orgasm. And he was correct, your body screamed for more, screamed to be filled and fucked.

“Yes yes yes! Thank you soo fucking much! Thank you sir!” You scream and claw at Vessel’s sides. The overstimulation hadn’t yet kicked in and as long as he removed his thumb from your clit, you could continue.

A deep shudder that racked through Vessel’s body as he removed your legs from his waist and placed them on his shoulders. He was drunk off of your cunt and loved every single second of it. He had never had pussy this good.

“See boy, look at how she’s taking it. Sweet girl is enjoying herself. Getting that cunt fucked and used by a real cock.” Vessel moans out in pleasure, his own orgasm swirling closer to the brink.

IV whines softly and spreads his legs to hopefully relieve some of the pressure on his cock. He wanted his turn so bad but.. would he even get it?

Vessel gasps loudly as you clench down on his cock, your cunt spasming slightly as your hole is used and abused. “Fuckin! Shit can I cum in you?”

You keen and try pulling him closer to you, fisting his shirt to bring him into a deep kiss. Vessel’s moans are muffled against your lips as he tenses up. His thrusts become erratic and desperate.

Fuck it turned you on, your boyfriend’s soft whines, the cock deep inside of you, and the breathy moans against your lips.

“Cum in me sir… paint my insides white..” You whisper against Vessel’s lips while giving him one last moan of encouragement.

The singer’s hips jerk roughly and he buries himself in your warmth. His thick seed spilling into you and coating you as his. “God yes, fucking take it.. Take all of my cum beautiful..”

You let out an exhausted giggle as Vessel slowly pulls out of you. His cum slowly oozing out of you and onto the bed as Vessel sat back on his heels. IV stood behind Vessel and admired the mess that was you.

“Fuck.. she’s beautiful,” IV muttered softly while leaning his head on Vessel’s shoulder.

The singer wrapped his fingers through IV fluffy hair just enjoying his afterglow. “She is, isn’t she… Bet you want some.”

You flush even deeper from embarrassment and slowly try to close your thighs, you weren’t used to this much attention on your swollen cunt.

“Stop staring..” You whine while trying to pull a blanket over yourself. Yet your hand was stopped by IV as Vessel shifted out of the way.

The guitarist stared down at you hungrily while prying your legs back open. He rips a yelp from your tired throat as he forces his pants down to expose his red throbbing cock.

Vessel shifts behind you, gently gathering your upper half in his lap while he strokes your hair. “Think you can go again? Take him after I’ve bred you?”

Teary-eyed you look between Vessel and IV with adoration; you wanted to please but you were unsure if your body could handle anymore.

Slowly you reach down to gently take IV in your hand, his groan of frustration and the soft “Fuck” encouraged you to attempt.

“Try.. but I’m not sure if I can..” You whisper and nuzzle your cheek into Vessel’s thigh. You craved being good for the men, craved pleasuring the both of them.

“No,” IV grunts and pulls away from you. He could tell you’d reached your limit for the night. Your lover knew your body and knew you were pushing himself.

You whine loudly and try pulling IV closer by his cock. Vessel chuckles softly and runs his hand down your arm, carefully prying your fingers away from IV’s cock.

“He’ll get pleasure one way or another.. Just relax sweetheart” Vessel cooed while rubbing at your sides.

His eyes flick up to IV’s intense ones, the small stare-off causing you to squirm. With a soft huff, you drag IV’s hand down to your cunt. His eyes shoot to your face with a quick questioning look.

“Use the cum leaking out of me to get yourself off…” and oh, did Vessel like your suggestion. The soft moan and shudder from the man underneath you gave away just how much he loved the statement.

Your lover groans loudly and scoops Vessel’s leaking cum out of your cunt. Almost begrudgingly he wraps his hand around his prick, smearing it up and down.

Both yours and Vessel’s eyes follow intensely as IV focuses on his tip, twisting his palm around the head before dropping down around his shaft. His groans were deep and desperate, clearly needing more than just what he was getting.

“The pup can’t cum by himself anymore? That pretty cock struggling?” Vessel teases and reaches to drag him forward.

You were caught in the middle of the men leaning over you to kiss sloppily. Your clit twitched with interest but nothing more. Never had you thought that watching your boyfriend make out with his best friend would arouse you so.

“Don’t disappoint our girl, add your cum to her wet cunt.” Vessel whispers against IV’s lips.

The fourth sped up his hand, stroking his cock roughly, just trying to reach the end. You hum softly and reach for his balls, gently taking them in your hand and rolling them.

The combination of your hands on his balls and Vessel’s hand slowly wrapping around his throat causes IV to gasp and whine. His hips stutter into your grip as he coats his hand and your cunt with his cum.

You giggle softly as IV and Vessel pull away from their kiss, both relaxing and breathing deeply.

“Ah~ fucking hell, that was better than I expected..” IV laughs and runs his clean hand through his hair.

You hum in agreement as Vessel shifts to dig through his pocket. “Yeah, didn’t think your girl would have such a beautiful O face.”

You blush brightly and sit up to prepare to clean up. The sound of metal caught your attention as Vessel pulled out a metal cock cage out of his pocket. Your eyes go wide as you tilt your head, “Vess..”

IV curses and tries to get off the bed but Vessel quickly snatches him by the shirt collar. “She gets a key and I get a key… 24 hours... And if she wants to cum it’s your mouth or my cock..”

A small key was pressed into your hand as you laid to the side, a wave of excitement rushed through you. Maybe you should join them on tour more often.