#like once you found out he was racist..that didnt kill the desire for you?!??!

[cruelsister-moved2]

ppl pretending feeling attraction never changes when u find out more information abt someone its not giving the best vibes in all honesty. im not seeing the difference between u & the bioessentialists of various stripes who think you just experience attraction by like detecting someones Female Pheromones or w/e. we do this in various ways all the time without even noticing & it’s extremely normal to think someone is cute, find out they’re a gender you’re not attracted to, and feel differently. you can’t tell people’s gender just by looking at them and idk what it says about gnc people, non passing and closeted trans people if you believe that you can. finding someone good looking has never defined your sexuality this is such a shallow conception how are the same people who love to be like HUMAN SEXUALITY is mESSY and COMPLICATED the same ones who act no different to ignorant straight ppl who just lose their minds at the idea of a gay person having eyes and being able to notice when someone of a different gender is good looking 😭

[milfygerard]

it feels a little callous but i cant help but find this whole brittany mahomes thing kind of extremely funny because like. Ok so taylor has very valid reason to not speak out on this upcoming election at all considering she just narrowly avoided a terrorist attack from a different far right extremist group and america has guns and a decent population of people who thought shed use the superbowl to brainwash people into getting gay biden vaccines and im positive many of those people were the cops who would be in charge of investigating that terrorist threat but ALSO none of this wouldve happened if she didnt feel a deep need to be liked and so felt compelled to befriend her boyfriends coworkers wife except her boyfriend is a linebacktightendwhatever for the nfl so of course his coworkers wife (as well as a number of his coworkers) is a conservative white lady who obviously voted trump on the dl and so are most of her friends folding taylor into a circle that even at her most politically mum she never wanted to be involved in. Taylor swift is also of course a known coward who took 10 years and a movie to even just declare that shes a democrat which she obviously was and also obviously hid for marketing reasons (which was heavily encouraged by her team and her dad who is in her team) while taking advantage of the 2015 aesthetic pop politics to say that she likes gay people and respects women, which left a bad taste in peoples mouths once popular politics left its frothy naiivete behind in 2016 and she fell off the face of the earth in a valiant effort to not kill herself which allowed for the co-opting of her extremely white image from the growing reactionary movement that she eventually had to do way more work to cut down bc she didnt nip it in the bud fast enough which has left a long standing bad taste in peoples mouths and a negative association in their minds

but anyway this all leads back to the bizarre mean girl politics of 78 year old high schooler donald trump whose still mad that taylor called him a fascist because i guess he liked her music and who has spent the last few months trying to tie himself to her because she is currently God of the Monoculture and any mention of her brings attention which is mr celebrity apprentices only desire and the reason he even ran for president but now HIS star is falling as the republican party has finally found a good excuse to kick him to the curb because they have a far less embarassing woman who is popular enough that you can publicly support her and only leftists will be disgusted but fascist enough to work directly with you to continue funding and supporting the brutal racist border policies we hold with mexico and the insanse christian zionist genocide happening in palestine and definitely wont do anything to stop the transphobia culture war that you have rolling which will keep you in legislative and representative power for as long as you want BUT i digress. donald trump found out probably from understandably angry swifties that some WAG who liked posts supporting him is ALSO publicly associated with taylor swift and is considered a friend in her circles and so the DAY BEFORE hr boyfriends first game where she generally sits in the WAG group with families and partners including her new bestie brittany he makes a very public post announcing how he just SOOO APPRECIATES brittany mahomes and her PUBLIC SUPPORT and how its SO IMPORTANT TO HIM which sets a trap specifically made to torture taylor swift of choosing between publicly rejecting and admonishing brittany mahomes and her support which will not just piss off brittany and patrick burning a personal AND professional bridge, but also a large chunk of the extremely conservative NFL and could potentially have a negative impact on travis' career going forward considering how petty sports drama can be OR she can say nothing and trigger headline after headline of TAYLOR SWIFT FRIENDS WITHWOMAN PUBLICLY THANKED BY DONALD TRUMP FOR SUPPORT which isnt only a pr nightmare but also gets trump his one actual desire which is being paid attention to and discussed OR she can go to the game but show in some way that she endorses Harris/Walz which will cause a similar shitstorm but in this one the likeliness of major conspiracy thoeries and terrorist threats and plots based on those theories rises exponentially less than a month after the last terrorist plot (discussed earlier in the post) that led her to cancel a 4 show stay that I imagine wasnt great for her anxiety and paranoia

and the funniest part is this is 10000% entirely her fault for failing to pick a side on the public about politics vs just a singer and artist debate and constantly going back and forth as her morals, her business instincts, her cowardice, and her self conscious need to be liked all go to war with each other because she just had to be friends with her boyfriends coworkers wife without ever assuming that this wildly wealthy white woman may possibly be a conservative because all the wildly wealthy white women she hangs out with are DEMOCRATS! or at least PRETEND to be! and THIS is why you dont date guys who work in the NFL!

[queenerdloser]

so i’m going to type this out so i can hopefully purge it out of my memory & because there’s no better audience than.a bunch of strangers on the internet. tw for some gross conservative opinions i guess.

so quick context; my step-dad is a hardline conservative and my mom has basically swallowed his bullshit hook line and sinker. they are, both of them, extremely inflexible when it comes to their opinions and very unwilling to listen to anyone who disagrees with them. i’m living temporarily in their apartment since i just moved back into the country.

so they came home tonight for the first time since i arrived back from japan and we were having dinner. i brought up that my sister wanted to take a trip since kids are doing online schooling here, which my step-dad immediately jumped on how it was not good and my mom started in on how it was so terrible for kids and how “they” want to bring down education and how the entire situation right now somehow reminded her of fahrenheit 451. when i asked who the hell the “they” was, it became an increasingly convoluted rant about the oppressive government that is somehow restricting american freedom bc they might require everyone to have a corona vaccine... which my step-dad, with all seriousness, thinks could contain a microchip to monitor the population. 

so i point out how insane this entire reasoning is (when asked why he thinks this, he basically just said “well BILL GATES backed a vaccine and he’s the ceo of microsoft!! so!!” and i was like ??? is that a logical argument or?? i mean i’m no bill gates fan but that’s a hell of a fucking leap to make) they turned around and started waxing on about how america was founded on FREEDOM (and i use all caps bc that’s literally how they talked about it). when i, again, pointed out that at america’s founding it was actually just freedom for white men, my step-dad was like “well that doesn’t matter!! are you telling me bc some people didnt have freedom it’s okay to take away my freedom now?” and my mom was in the background literally screaming at me about how i need to have loyalty to my country and how it’s written in the constitution that you have to be loyal or you can’t be a citizen (which is uh... very not true unless i’m misremembering the constitution) and i should just leave the country if i hated it so much. when i explained that being critical of my country is very different from being an actual traitor, she just kept repeating that i needed to be loyal and then couldn’t fucking explain at all what being “disloyal” meant. 

(also they brought up how the protestors were trying to change the country and they shouldn’t be allowed to do that and when i was like “uh actually we have changed the country many times over. the founding fathers changed their country!!” my step-dad and mom were both yelling about how, actually, the founding fathers created a country as if they didn’t do it in direct opposition to the british and a big old fuck you to their mother country. my parents are both die-hard founding fathers supporters so i didn’t bring up the whole “i mean they were wealthy white slave owners so can we stop idolizing them” argument either - wouldn’t have been worth it.)

meanwhile my literally insane step-father is going on and on about how people die everyday so the government shouldn’t require a corona vaccine - it’s people’s own lives they’re putting at risk (ignoring, of course, that by contracting the disease without a vaccine they risk further spread through vulnerable populations that can’t be vaccinated for health reasons a la the return of the measles). i told him it was beyond disrespectful to people suffering from corona and the thousands who’ve died from it to diminish it to some bullshit “well people die everyday” argument and he scoffed and told me it didn’t matter bc more people died from car accidents than corona. (which, when i checked later, is also very much not true lmao)

okay, i pointed out, but there are regulations in place to make cars safer and lesson accidents, right? he then somehow made the very insane leap that the government has no right to require people to wear their seatbelts because the choice to not wear a seatbelt and endanger your own life should be entirely up to you and that it’s somehow a restriction of freedom to make it illegal to not wear your seatbelt. i didn’t say this at the time but now i’m thinking that i probably should have brought up that people regularly choose to flout this law anyway, it’s not a jail-able offense, and most of the time cops do not run people down for not wearing a seatbelt - so it’s a fucking moot point, bc it’s a law we regard as cavalierly as jaywalking. and not wearing a seatbelt and getting into an accident can cause other people to die or make things worse for other people in your car. and.... like yeah, i really DON’T care if the govt decides to create regulations that are designed to decrease loss of life even should someone decide they want to lose their life. saying “oh well someone should have the right to choose to risk their lives without that damn government interference” is a very wild argument. like sorry the govt wants you to stay safe and alive in your car, i guess??? how dare they try to lessen the loss of life and set regulations for drivers and car companies to follow?????????

anyway, this then completely unravels into me bringing up again that i explicitly don’t trust trump’s government with how they handle the virus & our real concern should be big pharma jacking up vaccine costs just bc they can and my step-dad went on a long diatribe about how vaccine research costs money and it’s totally cool if they decide to make the vaccine itself 3x the production costs. when i brought up (stupidly) that i thought the vaccine should actually be free if the govt is really going to require everyone to take it, he basically exploded and went on a long gibbering rant about how could i expect anyone to do anything for free, we might as well let everyone do their job for free! who’s going to pay for it? was repeated over and over again. he brought up free education and was not happy when i explained that i was very fine with my taxes going to paying for free education instead of military expenses.

finally, the icing on this very shitty hour of my life was my mom trying to tell me with all seriousness that trump is not an idiot, that i should respect him for being a “financial wizard” (literally her words!!!) and that i can’t criticize or disrespect him bc he’s a president. when i pointed out that a) i didn’t vote for him so i don’t actually acknowledge him as “my” president and b) that’s fucking insane, she started in how she didn’t “raise me this way” and that, once again, I was being disloyal to my country, that i was clearly uneducated and didn’t know anything about american history, and that i was being brainwashed and overtaken by propaganda. (when i told her flatout that the only one being brainwashed and overtaken by propaganda was her, she was also not happy.)

i brought up how trump wants to try to delay the election - my step-dad scoffed and asked where i got my information. the news, i said, bc i read the article from the bbc. THE NEWS? he said with complete disbelief. YOU CAN’T BELIEVE ANYTHING YOU HEAR IN THE NEWS. okay, i said with increasing disbelief that this was my life. well then how do you get your information? my mom chimes in with a hysterical: FROM MY GUT. 

(i told my step-dad i read a variety of news articles and he told me he does too, but then he went on about how i apparently read the “wrong” news bc i happen to disagree with all of his insane arguments.)

i pointed out that i might like trump more if he was at all competent, compassionate, interested in doing his job, and not sexist, racist, and homophobic. my step-dad, completely unwilling to entertain the idea that he might be wrong, scoffed and said that trump wasn’t racist. okay, i said with the increasing desire to murder something. how is that something you can possibly say. my step-dad goes on to smugly assure me that someone who hires black people can’t be racist, actually. unsure of how to even begin dismantling this mind-numbingly bad logic, i countered with the assertion that trump has been openly racist on many platforms. my step-dad and my mom turned towards talking about how “noticing someone’s race isn’t racist!” and “isn’t your bias against white people actually racist?” and that’s when i fucking lost it, grabbed my keys and my phone and ran out of the apartment to go have a fucking panic attack in the fucking backyard. 

this was like an hour. my mom was screaming at me for like half of it and my step-dad was yelling and they constantly kept fucking talking over me and going round and fucking round in circles or making nonsensical general statements (”money doesn’t grow on trees!” “what about FREEDOM?” “loyalty is everything!” and so on). there was a literal comparison of being required to take a vaccine to nazi fucking germany. (my step-dad, clearly displaying how little he thinks of my intelligence, had the gall to try to “explain” to me that they killed jewish people during nazi germany. yeah dude. i learned that in fucking elementary school. i’m aware.) i was told that i was “too young” to understand what i was talking about, that i had no critical thinking skills, that my criticism of my country was treasonous and that i should just leave if i didn’t want to be here. 

i left for two hours. i’m still shaking bc i had a panic attack & then several smaller attacks while i was walking around my neighborhood trying to figure out if i should disappear until they went to sleep and how the hell i’m going to stay in their household until september, where i thankfully have alternate housing lined up. my mom just came into my room all remorseful, trying to get me to tell her where i was and apologizing in a way that didn’t actually apologize at all (”i’m sorry for what happened” she said, not all enunciating that she’s sorry for yelling at me, calling me names, undermining my critical thought, and basically being an all-out fanatical asshole for no imaginable reason. “and on our first night together, too!” she added, as if this happened somehow out of her control.)

i knew that living with them would be uncomfortable but i seriously had no idea that i would be standing there, making jokes and trying to calmly explain myself in the face of their loud vitriol. like. i wasn’t yelling! i think the only time i even snapped at them was when they tried to cut me off when i was talking. i tried to crack wise, to get them to see the utter ridiculousness they were spouting and yet!! they were both so violently, fanatically angry at me for just like... not thinking america is the greatest country in the world. not thinking trump is actually a good president. not agreeing that a corona vaccine is actually a secret ploy to microchip people for the oppressive government. 

i left panic behind an hour ago & have crossed steadily over into anger but the fact is that if i have to have another “conversation” like that with them i will lose it entirely and i don’t know how i can live in this house and somehow do the mental gymnastics to avoid all “taboo” subjects. my mom clearly wants to pretend it didn’t happen, which is honestly her m.o. whenever we fight, but how the fuck am i supposed to forget her calling me a traitor and ranting at me about how uneducated and dimwitted i am? 

god. i’ll probably delete this, but i needed to lay it all out. in case anyone was wondering YES people who think this utter bullshit do exist and apparently i’m so blessed i get to have one of them as my own fucking mother.