#like on the one hand i want to push forward partly bc i know there is new (to me) shinsou content!!

[karliahs]

just started season 4 in my rewatch and i'm getting closer and closer to content that is actually new to me (i was a few eps into the school festival arc when i moved onto a different obsession & stopped watching) and i am. weirdly apprehensive? like what if i just...don't like any of the new stuff

which is silly bc:

i do in fact dislike stuff in the content that is familiar to me and i either ignore it or write a lot of fic about it, it's fine

i know a lot about the broad shape of how things go from here both from tumblr osmosis and from asking my friend who reads the manga to periodically spoil me so it's not like i am totally unprepared for what's coming

if all else fails i can just rewatch usj and the sports festival on repeat and it'll all be fine

aizawa will be in the new content. and truly they can just show me his face doing expressions every few episodes and i will be content

[starlooove]

Okay one (1) person said yes so like let’s talk about how joker specifically dislikes Duke for his role as the signal (as in the symbol of the signal pushing Bruce forward refusing to let him stop or hold him to lower standards etc.) and used him as a placeholder for baby Bruce in his wayne murder recreation that Duke got AWAY from and now dukes the signal parading around Gotham and tbh if I were a writer that’d be enough for me but it’s like. Genuinely the easiest tragic ending we could have for Duke. Like the ‘bad ending’ au or villain aus with Duke as joker junior (if isolated to Gotham and away from gnomon) just make SENSE! Like a lot of the justification for tim Jj outside the animated series is that he’s what got Bruce away from the edge when he was about to fall into jokers hands and kill (major over exaggeration to ME but. Whatever) but imo I feel like Duke would piss joker off worse bc Duke won’t even allow Bruce to get to that point ever. To me Duke should ALWAYS be ready to hold Bruce accountable, even to his detriment (you know how all the kids mirror different aspects of Bruce and at the ‘start’ of their relationships it’s cool bc he’s fw it but later on it gets flipped on him OR they actively resent it or both? I think Duke should absolutely be the responsibility mirror, the part of Bruce that doesn’t tolerate other heroes fucking around or giving up or being half assed, and I absolutely think Duke should flip it back onto Bruce AND resent it with his Interpersonal relationships. And ofc they all do this to an extent (partly bc god forbid someone writes a bat comic where the bat isn’t the only competent person ever) but I think Duke should specifically should be the kind who wouldn’t let Bruce (or himself) rest. You CHOSE to be Batman you CHOSE not to get a day off you CHOSE to push yourself as hard as you can stop slacking. (Yes this should have a negative impact with his relationships w/everyone else and it should cause friction with CASS SPECIFICALLY! Diff post for diff time) Sorry that’s so off topic I think this would Píss joker off bc remember he’s not just trying to get Batman to kill; he wants Batman to FAIL! And that’s in all his duties and responsibilities to his city so I think a physical manifestation of why he CANT and isn’t allowed to? Ugh. Anyways I think joker doing his best to snuff the light out of the city? To prove there’s worst things than death? To show Batman that his signal won’t always be there? C’mon…..CMONN

[almoonds]

why is it with every kkg reread i do, i come to a new realization or perspective about a character or the plotline.... does this mean it rlly does have superb writing or am i only just repeatedly consuming my fave series .

anyway i'm dumping some thoughts for ch 91

i don't think it's quite noticeable with the way the two of them are being promoted, but i see kirari and yumeko as two entirely different people. the manga generally pushes for the two of them to be like two peas in a pod (two kakeguruis) but the way they function are SO different to me.

when mary and ririka revealed to kirari their little side bet, you could see how this lowers kirari's morale. you would notice that she really /does/ want to win in this gamble, she's not playing purely for the sake of it. she literally aims to win this gamble because i can guess that partly, she wants to prove that she can best ririka, and that she wants to be president, more than anyone else. (and you know how kirari gets when she /wants/ something. she ALWAYS expects that she gets it and does everything in her power to get it.)

if it was yumeko in that chair, it would be an entirely different story. yumeko would actually /want/ for crazy stakes. you could see only a few gambles where yumeko plays to win. (e.g. yumeko v terano, she's playing to win BCS she wants to play against kirari) and yet, even if she plays to win, she still lets her own desires get ahead of her because it thrills her. if yumeko feels like she might lose, she would be thrilled (see image below); likewise, if she fully reads her opponent and gets the gist of their gamble, she would be ecstatic (i.e. the stuco gambles).

moreover, you don't see kirari looking excited from losing to mary and ririka. she /wants/ to get her way, even if she has to exhaust all her efforts to do it. which moves to my next point.

the tides are all up against kirari. now it absolutely BAFFLES me how amazingly she can turn the tables and psychologically attack her opponents with one single statement.

in this panel, she literally /enables/ ririka. she reminds her of her roots, and what she was fundamentally founded on. she wants to test how far ririka has gone on without any string attached to her. and look how it catches everyone off guard! it's amazing how kirari can manipulate a person and a situation as effortless as batting an eyelash. (actually reminds me of joker, but that's a thought dump for another time)

but then ultimately, she still loses at that.

now, another one of mary's cheats is on. she's perfectly confident on beating kirari once again. now look how kirari shatters this newfound confidence

kirari is psychologically testing her opponent again, this time with mary. she wants to test this world-famous iron willpower that supposedly entrances everyone mary comes across with. she wants to see how far this could reach: whether mary would confidently back out or confidently go all-in. but mary, as evidently it's shown in the entire series, is a human that naturally gets tossed by fear. and what do you do when you can't fully decide on a thing?

you go middle ground

which throws kirari off. it turns out, mary's iron willpower isn't all that invincible (which i think is just natural for humans like us)

okay now i'll fast forward. ririka (now awaken that she's a momobami by roots) takes advantage of their lil dispute and bites kirari instead, throwing the both of them off guard.

i'll end this long post with a lil appreciation for the mary-ririka duo. it's absolutely brilliant for these two to team up: someone with enormous willpower that can take up anyone she wants to go against (namely momobami kirari), and someone with fundamentally the same cut as the insanity kirari has. mary was right: she can never take on kirari alone simply because she doesn't have the guts to stomach bets with insane risks and insane returns while currently being manipulated by the opponent. ririka, on the other hand, absolutely can. what ririka lacks, however, is the confidence and decisiveness that mary possesses.

[duskholland]

Had to send this to you bc your writing is so amazing 😩 friend! Tom showing you pictures on his camera roll of a trip he was on and forgetting he had nudes in there, and you scroll to accidentally find them and you’re both stunned for a second but he shoots his shot by telling you that there’s more, you can look at them if you want. and you do, and toms behind you watching you look at them. he even tells you there’s a video too, if you wanna see it. and you’re like now or never, so you tell him yes. bc the sexual tension would be so high bc it’s uncharted waters and I could see Tom dragging you into his lap to watch the video together and him being like am I big enough for you? I was thinking about you and it would be SMUTTTTTTT whew I need to lay down 🥲🥵

ugh...your mind. I love this! 18+ nsfw !!!

– clearing out the askbox – 

“Hey, do you want to see..? I took some photos of it- Wait, let me just find them.”

You wait patiently as Tom digs around in his pocket, his tongue between his lips as he focuses on procuring the device. He makes a loud tada sound as he whips it out, his eyes sparkling as he quickly starts to scroll through his photos. You watch him closely, admiring his side profile discreetly.

You’ve known Tom for years, met him at a function in London through a mutual friend. When he’d moved into a large townhouse just in the outskirts of the city a few months ago, you’d been one of the people to move in with him. He’s been away for several weeks, on press in Europe, but now that he’s back, he’d dragged you down onto one of the sofas in the living room to share his stories and show off his photos.

“Is it really as big as they say?” You wonder. “I’ve never seen the Eiffel Tower before.”

Tom hums, and you watch as he scrolls through his photos, eyes focused. He looks very good today -- biceps pressing out against his black t-shirt, his Rolex glinting on his wrist. His hair lies naturally over his forehead too -- soft, brown, wavy. Your friend is very attractive, something you’ve always been aware of, but the time apart has made your feelings sharpen.

“Yeah, it’s bloody huge,” Tom muses. “Ah! Here you go, love.”

Tom carefully passes you his phone, and you swallow harshly when your fingers brush his and you feel sparks light off at his touch.

“Wow,” you exclaim, squinting as you admire the photo of the tower, soaring up into the sky. “You’re right. It is big.”

“Mmm. There’s more. You can scroll if you want.”

You start to flick through the photos, smiling as they change a little with each shot. Some of them are blurrier than others, and after a while they change as Tom moves from the ground below the monument, to climbing the staircase, then getting in the lift, then travelling to the top. You enjoy watching the story progress, seeing the shots of some of Tom’s friends, then a few selfies of Tom in sunglasses with a wide cityscape captured behind him, then--

You gasp softly as you scroll a little bit too far, and find yourself staring at a photo of Tom’s cock.

“Oh shit,” Tom mutters. You feel him go very still beside you. You’re sitting so close together that you can feel his thigh, warm to touch. “I… Forgot that was on there.”

You swallow dryly, suddenly feeling your pulse throbbing in your ears. You can’t stop looking at the photo, marvelling at the sight of Tom’s cock, red and erect, sitting in his hand. He’s clearly in a hotel room, and the lighting and the angle are very good, leaving little to the imagination. You bite your lip as you notice the way he has a strong vein curving down the side of his member, and find yourself squeezing your thighs together as you try, desperately, to snap out of it.

“It-it’s okay,” you mutter, voice hoarse. Your face feels hot with embarrassment, but you can’t deny the arousal coursing through your system too.

“There’s more,” Tom says, voice low. You can feel him looking at you, and there’s no doubt in your mind that your friend can tell, just from your reaction, that you like looking at his nudes. “You can look at them too, if you want.”

You tilt your head slowly, glancing at him, your eyes taking in his expression: cheeks slightly rosy, smirk on his lips, gaze pooled with lust. It makes you shiver.

“Okay.”

Tom moves closer, and you can feel his breath on your neck as his fingers slowly shift into your hair, moving it out of your face very delicately, gently. You swallow, your heart beating roughly in your chest as you continue to scroll, your eyes widening as you enjoy the different angles of his cock, each captured crisply by the camera. You feel yourself getting wet, partly from the photos, but also due to the way Tom’s so close. He dips his head down and your breath hitches as he ghosts his lips over your neck, kissing you so softly that it’s almost as if he isn’t there.

“There’s a video too,” he adds, husking into your ear. You moan softly when he sucks on the tender spot behind your jaw. “Watch it.”

You oblige, scrolling past more shots of his cock before arriving at the video. With slightly shaky fingers, you press the play button, biting your lip as you watch the short clip. The air fills with the sound of Tom’s groans, distant and buzzed with slight static, but still hearty enough to make you whimper. He’s kissing your neck with renewed strength, both hands wrapping around your middle, fingers caressing your sides as you stare at the phone. The sight of his arm veins flexing as he gets himself off makes you squirm, aroused not even beginning to cover how turned on you are.

The air is thick as the video ends, Tom cumming with a low cry, his seed shooting out over his hand as his upper stomach. You let the screen fall dark, your breathing heavy and unsteady as he stops kissing your neck.

“What do you think?” Tom asks, his accent hanging heavy in his voice. “Am I big enough for you, darling?”

You nod. With nervous hands, you put the phone down and turn to face him, feeling a surge of confidence as his hold on your waist guides you to sit in his lap. You straddle him, grunting as you feel his cock straining up against his grey sweats, and the pressure that it provides to your aching clit makes you whimper and repeat the action.

“Definitely big enough,” you mutter, looking at your friend closely. He seems to be just as aroused as you are, his hands guiding your movements as you slowly grind down against him.

“I was thinking about you,” Tom admits, “when I was filming the video. Thought about sending it to you, just to see if you’d like it.”

You bite your lip, realising that the attraction you feel towards Tom hasn’t been one-sided.

“Why didn’t you? I would’ve liked to see it.”

Tom’s eyes twinkle with arousal. “Wanted to do it in person, watch your face when you saw my cock.” One of his hands moves away from your waist, and he slips it between your legs. You’re so glad you’re wearing a skirt, because all you have to do is part your thighs and then he’s able to slip two slender fingers between your folds. Tom gives your clit a few teasing rubs before slipping his fingertips down to your entrance. You whimper when he slips them into your heat, meeting no resistance, and you moan loudly as he curls his fingers and starts to stroke up against your g-spot. “Fuck, darling. You’re soaked for me.” He leans in to peck your cheek, leaving his lips by your ear as he adds, “Do I turn you on?”

“Yes,” you whine immediately. Your moans grow louder as Tom continues to fuck your heat, his thumb shifting up to nudge against your clit. You reach up and grab at his shoulders, grinding down to meet his fingers every time they thrust up into you, feeling arcs of pleasure spiral out from your cunt with each movement. “You feel so good, Tom. Been dreaming about this for months.”

“Mmm, should’ve just said, love.” Tom’s back to nibbling at your neck. “Anything else you’ve thought about doing with me?”

As good as it feels to have his fingers working you open, you know there’s one thing on your mind.

“Yeah,” you admit breathlessly. You look him straight in the eye. “I want you to fuck me, Tom.”

He raises an eyebrow, smirk intensifying. “Oh, really?”

You hum. “Yeah. I want to ride you right here, right now. Feel how big your cock actually is.”

Tom swears, his fingers leaving your centre. “Okay,” he agrees, voice tight. “There’s a condom in my jacket, I’ll go-”

“I’ll get it,” you say instead. You kiss his cheek before standing from his lap, your legs a little shaky as you walk from the living room to the porch, thankful that you’re the only ones home. By the time you return to the lounge, Tom’s stripped off completely, sitting bare on the comfortable sofa with his hand around his cock. You toss him the condom as you take a few moments to pull off your tight shirt, your skirt, and your underwear, keeping your bra on before settling in his lap.

“You’re so hot,” Tom mutters, running his hands all over you. His touch against your bare skin feels electric, and you find yourself pushing into him as you enjoy feeling him map you out. “Bloody stunning.”

“Thank you,” you reply, almost a little bashful. You sit back and watch as Tom pumps his cock, hard and leaking precum, just like the video, before he rolls down the condom. Your eyes admire the lines of his abs, strong and defined, and the rest of him, equally attractive, and you feel your cunt clench as you imagine how good it’s going to feel to have him unravel you. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

With the condom on, Tom’s hands go back to your hips. He gently pulls you forward and you sit up, reaching down to guide his cock between your folds.

“Neither can I,” he admits, eyes trained between your legs. “Been thinking about- fuck- about your sweet little pussy for months, sweetheart, I--” He breaks off completely when you slide down onto him, your walls expanding to accommodate him. Your forehead falls to rest on his shoulder as you breathe deeply, moaning as he fills you up. “So good.”

“You’re so big, Tom,” you whimper. After leaving a moment to adjust, you sit back up and slowly start to ride him, taking your time as you get used to the fit of his body. You can’t stop yourself from whimpering, loudly, as his tip brushes up against your g-spot repeatedly, igniting a deep frenzy of sparks in the pit of your stomach. “Feels so fucking good inside me.”

Tom’s face is pulled tight with enjoyment, and you moan as you see his jaw clenching and the deep line of concentration furrowed between his brows. When he opens his eyes, you see nothing but appreciation and arousal webbed across the depths of his gaze.

“Love your pussy, Y/N,” he moans, cheeks flushing deeper. One of his hands stays on your hip, guiding you, and the other goes to touch your clit. He grins as he rubs your bud and feels you clench around him. “You like that, yeah? Like the way it feels for me to be inside you?”

“Yes, Tom,” you whisper.

“I know you do, I can feel how wet you are.” Tom’s watching you like you’re a spectacle, his words interspaced with small grunts as he lifts his hips to meet your movements. “So fucking snug for me, aren’t you, love? Your pussy feels so good... I’m not going to last long.”

“Neither am I,” you warn. You can already feel it building, building, building, and with each slap of skin on skin, coupled with the noise of your wet arousal getting fucked by his member, you get closer. “Fuck, Tom, ‘m gonna cum-”

“Do it,” he coaxes, his own voice strained. “Wanna watch you fall apart for me, love. Go on.” He rubs your clit a little faster. “I’ve got you.”

Tom’s grip on you is unwavering as you peak with a loud moan, your walls spasming around his cock as your orgasm sweeps across you in an intense wave of unyielding pleasure. You grip at his shoulders, shuddering as you continue to bounce on his length, not stopping until Tom climaxes as well. You feel his cock pulse as he finishes, his breathing coming out in low, grunting pants, and as the two of you ride it out together, his forehead falls to your shoulder.

“So good,” he whimpers, lazily kissing up your neck. You still in his lip, recovering your breath, and then both of Tom’s hands move to your face. He looks at you, eyes full of appreciation, and you find yourself smiling softly at him. “Can I kiss you?”

You giggle, nodding your head. “Seems like we’re doing this in a bit of a backwards order,” you point out.

Tom smiles before uniting your lips, his mouth feeling hot against yours. He’s still smiling when he pulls back, his eyes slightly nervous.

“We are,” he admits. “Would you like to come out on a date with me?”

You nod, your heart warming in your chest.

“Yes, Tom,” you say, pausing to kiss him again. “I’d love to.”

[galacticgraffiti]

꧁༻✦༺ Ad'ika (3) ༻✦༺꧂

!!! NSFW/18+ !!!

Rating: Explicit Wordcount: 2.8k CW: oral sex (m receiving), naked female partly clothed male, rough going, size kink (!!!), choking (on a cock), hella praise bc I'm just that bitch, he comes on your tits, watching yourself in the mirror, wrecker lets loose, cum eating (whoops)

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

Chapter 3 - A Feast for the Gods

Wrecker’s face is almost sad as he regards you.

„I’m- listen, I’ve scared so many people away. And I get it, my size is intimidating… In more ways than one.“

He cautiously peers at you, your heads almost at the same height even though he is kneeling on the floor. You try to wrap your head around the implication he’s just made.

„Of course your size would intimidate someone who doesn’t know you,“ you venture. „But.. you are so kind, so sweet. We’ve known each other for what, barely a couple hours and you’ve already given me your clothes, not even to mention the most incredible orgasm I have had in years. How could you think I wouldn’t want you?“

You realise you’ve turned the words he used on you earlier around on him. But he doesn’t seem to think you got his point.

„Mesh’la, I don’t mean just my body that’s out there for all to see. I mean… my size.“ He gestures vaguely towards his crotch and you have to stifle a laugh. He’s so adorable, how can he say such filthy things to you one second and not be able to say cock the next?

„Baby, I think you’re making this out to be a much bigger issue,“ you can’t help but grin at your own unfortunate choice of words, „uhhhm, a much bigger issue than it actually is. I’m sure I’ll be fine!“

You slide off the bench and kneel back on your heels right in front of him.

„At least… at least let me try, please Wreck, I just want to make you happy. Let me help you out.“

You decide that you’re warm enough now, your blood still heated from your orgasm, and you pull his shirt back up over your head. Maybe he just needs some… visual encouragement. When you look at him, you see that his gaze has been pulled down to your tits, he doesn’t seem to be able to look away. You lean back a little and slide your hands up to push them together.

„Wouldn’t you like to see how you could make them bounce when you fuck me?“ The raspiness of your voice startles you for a second, but then you decide to lean into it. „Don’t you want to come on these, baby, imagine how good it would look, your cum all over them.“

Wrecker groans and surges forward, pulling you onto his lap and kneading your tits with his strong hands.

„Mesh’la, your tits are beautiful,“ he moans, „You’re so tiny, but these I can barely cover with my hands. How did I get so lucky, pretty girl, I wish you could see yourself right now, the way I see you.“

„Make me,“ you say, raising an eyebrow and letting your eyes wander in the direction of the floorlength mirror. He follows your gaze and grits out:

„You… you are filthy. How do you just tell me these things while sitting there so calmly, I- I can’t say no to that, how could I when you look like that-“

He eyes you up and down, the way your thighs rest on his, your legs spread a little, your hands still playing with your breasts, while you regard him. He’s still fully dressed, keeping you at arm’s length with his hands resting in his lap, obviously trying to hide the hard-on he has. You let your gaze rest there, right on his crotch, until he gets flustered and antsy.

„Listen, ad’ika, I’m not sure… I mean you can try, but- I don’t- I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable or-“

„Wreck,“ you say to calm him, „I offered. I want to, please, I really want to have your cock in my mouth, I want to taste you and make you feel good baby. I promise I want to do this more than anything else right now, please let me suck your cock, I-“

You can hear how whiny and desperate your voice gets and stop yourself. Looking over to the mirror again, you decide to take matters into your own hands, so to speak. You get up and position yourself right in front of the mirror, at an angle you believe you’ll be able to see yourself kneeling in front of Wrecker – if he decides to join you. You sink back onto your heels once more, your hands resting on your thighs. You venture a look into the mirror – and meet his gaze.

He rubs his hand over his face, like he’s trying to clear his mind, then gets up and slowly walks over to where you’re kneeling. Looking down at you, you hear him whisper again,

„So fucking tiny.“

You make a mental note of how often he’s mentioned your size – he seems to like how small you are compared to him, but also very scared of hurting you. You’ll show him there’s nothing to be afraid of – like you said, you’re not so easily destroyed, or you wouldn’t be here right now, begging him to let you suck him off.

Now that he’s standing right in front of you, though, there’s no looking away from the large tent of his sweats. The very large tent.

Ah, for once, a man who does not exaggerate. How refreshing.

But now that you’re finally getting a close look, you also realise what he meant. There’s size, and then there’s size. Holy fuck.

„Take off your pants, I want to see you.“

You beg him and his gaze goes so soft before he answers that your heart aches.

„I promise I won’t be mad if you… if you want to stop, little one,“ he answers.

„Why would I want to stop? Wrecker, you’re beautiful and you deserve the world. You are so strong and so brave, and if I can make you feel good and forget about this star forsaken war for even a minute, it’ll all have been worth it. I told you, I want to do this, please, just let me… let me make you feel good, baby.“

He regards you with a worried expression, but you decide to ignore him and push yourself up from your heels to be taller – when you’re sitting back you barely reach his knees. Hooking your fingers into the waistband of his sweats, you blink up at him through your lashes.

„Please, Wreck, can I?“

„I- Yeah, mesh’la. Of course you can.“

You start sliding down his trousers, catching his underwear in the motion and pulling it down right with them – no need to get shy now.

When his cock finally springs free, you can practically feel your eyes pop out of their sockets. Good gods in the galaxy, he really was not kidding.

You can still feel his gaze on you, he’s so worried that you’re gonna get scared you can almost feel it radiating off his skin.

„Fuck, Wreck, you’re… you’re kriffing huge,“ your voice sounds a little shaky.

„I’m sorry, ad’ika, I told you, I-“ he starts pulling his trousers back up and you stop him, your tiny little hand closing around his big, tan one.

„Are you kidding me, what the fuck are you apologising for baby? This is… this is more than I ever expected and I can’t tell you how- I can’t wait to feel you in my mouth. Let me taste you baby, I bet I can make you see stars just like you did me.“

Giving him a second to process all that, you slide your hands up along his thick thighs that are taut with muscle. You smile up at him and see he’s staring at you, his mouth hanging open but his eyes no longer worried, but hungry and dark. He leans back so one shoulder can rest against the mirror and you work your hands around his thighs sneakily, until you finally wrap your fingers around his cock.

A tremor ripples through his thigh and you hear his breath get heavier. Good heavens, you haven’t done more than making the bare minimum of contact and he’s already so worked up. This poor man has to be so touch starved, and once again you heart wants to break when you think of him, this sweet man that fights in a war he didn’t ask to be created for.

„Please, ad’ika- Wanna- I wanna feel your mouth around me-“

Now it’s his turn to beg, and you smile as you slowly drag your hand up and down his length. Maker, you can’t even touch your fingertips together, not by a long shot. Remembering what you noted earlier, you decide to tease him a little before you get really into it.

„Look how small my hand looks around you, baby, I can’t even make a fist. Bet you I could use both my hands… Have to get used to that before we can see how well I can fit you in my mouth-“

His fist closes in your hair and yanks you forward. You, not expecting that, have to use all your – honestly, ashamingly little – core strength not to collide with his crotch. His voice sounds like thunder when he growls out his orders.

„Stop talking like that, little one, or I won’t last long. I’ve been trying so hard to hold back and you- you- you tease me, you talk like that with my cock right in front of your mouth and I- keep talking like that and I’m gonna give you somethin‘ to choke on, pretty girl.“

You feel heat rising up to your cheeks when he mentions choking – how in star’s name did he know – and you look up at him with wide eyes.

He looks back at you, his eyes blown and dark, his gaze wild.

„Don’t hold back,“ you whisper at him, and you dive forward to finally close your lips around him.

He feels deliciously heavy in your mouth, velvety and smooth, with a thick vein running along the side of his shaft. You take a moment to cherish the feeling of him resting right there, before carefully running your tongue over the tip of his cock. He groans and his hips thrust forwards slightly, almost involuntarily. His length hits the back of your throat and you gag before regaining your composure.

A tear runs down your cheek, but you refuse to pull off him, scared that he’ll think he hurt you. You turn your chin up slightly and he hits the roof of your mouth juuust right as you start to take him deeper.

„Careful there, mesh’la,“ he booms, but there’s cracks in his voice that let you know he’s holding on tightly to his resolution not to hurt you. With a wet pop you release him from your hot mouth, a string of saliva connecting you to him still.

„I’ll tap your thigh twice if it gets too much, okay baby?“ you suggest and demonstrate before he has a chance to reconsider. „I promise, I can take it. I meant it when I told you not to hold back, you know?“

His hand in your hair twitches for a second and you can see his expression change from soft worry to dark, unguarded desire.

„You sure, little one?“

„I’m sure, Wrecker.“

Hearing his name seems to calm his worries, he nods to himself.

„Good girl.“

You shiver at the praise and he grins slyly – seems he’s keeping tabs on what you like the same way you are on him.

You close your lips around him again and start to get to work in earnest, stroking what you can’t fit into your mouth – which is a substantial part, if you’re being honest – with your hand. You’re careful not to go too deep too fast, because even though you do have some practice, you’ve never taken anyone even close to his size. Contrary to what seems popular consensus though, you do quite enjoy sucking someone off. You cautiously lean forward to take him deeper, holding your breath when you feel him hit the back of your throat. His huffs and moans tell you you’re doing something right, even before he begins praising you in a seemingly endless litany.

„Such a good little girl, look at you… Takin‘ my cock so well, mesh’la, I could watch you all day… Pret- pretty girl, takin‘ me down your throat so good, come on, I know- I know you can fit a little more.“

His soft , thunderous voice thrums through your entire being and you hum in response around his cock, trying to open your mouth even wider and relax your throat like you taught yourself. It seems to work and he slips even deeper – you think if you raised a hand to your throat you could probably feel him there and that thought alone makes you impossibly wet.

„Fuck ad’ika, if you keep that up I’m not gonna last long… Who- who taught you how to suck cock like that baby, Maker forgive them- I’m- kriffing hell, I’m not gonna last long but I wanna see you choke on it so bad, I wan-“

Your head that’s been bobbing in a steady rhythm falters for a second as the expression burns into your brain and he takes the hint.

„Oh you like that, mesh’la, you like me talkin‘ about you choking on my huge cock? I wanna make you cry from pleasure, come on, you can take- take a little more, I know you can… My pretty girl, sucking me off like she wants to win a fucking contest…“

He starts thrusting himself into your mouth and you try to keep as still as you can while taking it. Tears start running down your cheeks and you have to try your hardest to keep from gagging around him, but you want him to enjoy this. This is his pleasure and he deserves to make the most of it. You can’t even fathom how he can thrust so deeply inside you and still so much of his length doesn’t seem to fit. One of your hands leaves the base of his cock to slither back between your own legs, just to relieve some of the pressure, and then you make the mistake of looking at yourself in the mirror, and the image is like something out of a dirty holovid: You, leaned back while his large hand cradles the back of your head to keep you steady, your tits full and your chest flushed, your mouth stretched open wide around his girth, tears staining your blushed cheeks.

You shudder as you circle your fingers around your clit and look up at Wrecker, to see he has closed his eyes in a blissed out expression. Words never stop falling from his lips, where he learned to talk like that, you’ll probably never know, but you really wish you could find out.

„My sweet girl, taking me so deep- so deep inside her dirty little mouth, shut you right up didn’t it- I wanna hear all the pretty noises you make while you take my cock, maybe we should try after all, you’re doing so good mesh’la…“

Your hand moves faster as you regard the both of you in the mirror before looking back up at him. He’s opened his eyes and is staring straight at your tits that are bouncing slightly with each of his thrusts.

„Look at these, ad’ika, such beautiful tits, my pret- pretty girl, pretty girl with the- Wanna see those tits bounce while you ride my cock, I-“, he takes a shuddering breath and speeds up a little more, all concerns about hurting you forgotten now, „look at yourself, these fucking tits I swear- swear to… I’m close, I wanna- I wanna come all over them, mesh’la, tell me again like you did earlier you’ll let me come on your tits, I wanna-“

You open your throat and relax as much as it’s possible, taking him almost all the way, until your mouth almost meets his base, before pulling off and using the wetness of your own spit to jerk him off.

„Of course baby, come on, come all over me, I wanna lick it all off my-“

That does it, and with a raw cry, he shoots white hot ropes all over your chest, calling out your name and countless variations of curses. You watch it, wide-eyed, your hand between your legs slowing down, not because you’re finished but because you want to enjoy the spectacle without any distractions.

When the tremor in his thighs calms, Wrecker opens his eyes again and beams at you like you hung a sun up in the ever-grey sky of Kaminoa. You grin back up at him.

„Well, that was…,“ you don’t even know what to call it. Intense? Fantastic? A wild fucking ride through the wonderland of orgams?

„That was great!“ he shouts enthusiastically, before bending down and pulling you up like you weigh nothing. Even standing up you barely reach the height of his broad chest. You smile and, never breaking eye contact with him, dip your fingers into the mess on your chest before slowly licking them clean.

He stares at you, mesmerised, then shakes his head and murmurs, more to himself than to you, „Fucking incredible.“

Previous chapter ≪ °❈° ≫ Next chapter

┏━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┓ Mando'a translations

ad’ika – little one (I use it as a pet name, it is not in any way shape or form meant to refer to a child!) mesh’la – beautiful ┗━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┛

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 4

a/n: I LIVE FOR THESE MANAGER SEIJOH ASKS LIKE BLS TAKE OVER MY LIFE

(i originally planned to write the other schools for the manager scenario like theyre already in my drafts with plans and partly written out but like seijoh is my TOP PRIORITY (sorry pls dont hate me) BC THEY ARE MY BOIS)

also, most of my ask box is all for a kyoken ending and kyoken fluff and aoba johsai fluff and im quaking bc this is spurring me to create more aoba johsai imagines and my love for the other schools is just like being overshadowed by our little plant babies :’)

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon request: Im the anon who mentioned the chaos about the dating and can I say I love it!!! 🙏🙏 i kinda have this hc for the boys that they fight whenever they go on bus rides, just because they want yn to sit next to them. But she usually sits next to the calmer members?? The reason the boys fight?? She may or may not have fallen asleep a few times, her head on kyo/iwa shoulder. 🥺🥺

LMAO THAT PART JUST REEKED CHAOTIC ENERGY AND SHE WOULD TOTALLY SIT NEXT TO THEM JUST TO SPITE THE OTHERS AND I LOVE THE IRONY LIKE THE MOST AGGRESSIVE LOOKING ARE THE SOFTEST AND CALMEST TOWARDS HER LIKE PLEASE KYOKEN AND IWA ARE JUST LITTLE SOFT BEANS AND DESERVE THE WORLD

(bruh im so soft for iwa and kyo like my best bois and i must write them out IMMEDIATELY bc theyre so uggghhhhhh!!!!!!!)

MY TWO MEN IN ONE GIF GOD HAS BLESSED ME-

oh dear

bus rides,,,,, yep here we go

the team is usually peaceful and civil w each other (minus iwa literally beating oiks up but thats irrelevant information)

like they dont really have fights or have any arguments bc they meet up every saturday to talk about the week and if anybody had any concerns or anything they were mad about since it was like a family meeting

but boy oh boy

when you entered this family,,, arguments and misunderstandings happened once a week

‘no! y/n-chan said she was going to go shopping with me!’

‘um, she already agreed to go to to the arcade w me’

‘wait, she told me we were going to go visit that cafe!’

yes you agreed to do those things w them but you never assigned a date

your attention was something that these boys were always wanting since they only see you during club hours and practices

their jealousy gets really ugly sometimes and the two first years actually get all smug about it 

‘hm, y/n, we still up for studying later?’

you ruffled his hair and smiled up at him

‘yep! we need to set an alarm though or else i’d end up staying after 1 in the morning again’

‘great. cant wait’

kunimi rarely shows any emotion towards his senpais but they couldnt miss the smug smirk that made oikawa grip the volleyball and mattsun holding him back

god hes such a little shite

everyone knows that the first years have a upperhand than them bc of your same grade so the upperclassmen were much more sensitive to spending time with you outside of practice

and they liked to spend that time wisely

when the time for away games come, you weren’t that worried about it

i mean,, why would you when boarding the bus is going to be so early in the morning at like 4 in the morning and theyd be sleeping the whole time so you get peace and quiet

in fact, you were looking forward!

but nope!

jesus took the wheel and said no

instead, you were watching the team members shouting and yelling at each other at the asscrack of dawn

say sike rn

the 2 coaches were actually not there yet so they werent able to help you and whip the boys to order so here you were, bleary eyed and clearly still tired, sighing and rolling your eyes at the fight

‘SHE SITS WITH ME! IM TEAM CAPTAIN! I GET DIBS!’

‘NO! YOU DROOL ON HER AND MESS UP HER CLOTHES! YOU LIKE MAKKI-SENPAI MORE, RIGHT, Y/N-CHAN?!’

now you might be asking me, ‘author-chan, why are they fighting so hard for something as simple as a bus ride?’

well, my young grasshoppers, this is not just a simple bus ride

you are infamous in the team to be a sleeper

no matter what form of transportation, bus, car, any surface, you found yourself in dream land

yall i wish i was like that

the sleep paralysis demon beside my bed says otherwise

they freak out and fight over even a simple touch of affection from you, do you really think they wouldnt fight tooth and nail to being your pillow and freely watching your adorable sleeping face?

these men are fighting as if they were fighting something serious like a world war

lmao with how intensely theyre fighting, it practically is

but there were two players who actually didnt care either way since they only wanted you to be the most comfortable and they werent exactly the most squishiest members

in fact, they were basically all muscle and probably not the most comfortable

NOPE I BELIEVE THAT IWA IS IN FACT ONE OF THE MOST COMFIEST AND BEST PILLOWS IN THE ENTIRE HAIKYUU UNIVERSE

totally not my bias talking or anything

so it was no surprise when they didnt get themselves involved

iwa was already done w them and goes in the bus because mom deserves a nap

naturally, kyo follows the leader and boards the bus after him, leaving the others to fight it out in the school parking lot

you were happy that they were too distracted that they wouldnt notice you sneaking away into the bus and you were slightly disappointed that out of all the seats, kyo had to sit in the one-seater by the front

so you immediately went over to the other person, who was iwa-san, and he was just settling in, pulling out his teal blanket

you blinked at him when he caught you stare but he gently smiled before opening the blanket

‘i was never a fan of window seats anyways’

you happily bounced over to him and you placed your bag at the overhead compartment bc seijoh is bougee and can afford everything before you climbed over him to the seat next to the window

iwaizumi tried to make you as comfortable as he can so he kept the seat divider thing yanno what im talking about? between you

but his eyes widened when you casually pulled it up and snuggled closer to him

youve done this before so he opened his right arm for you to cuddle closer but he was still surprised 

meanwhile,,,

you just closed your eyes with a smile as you pulled the blanket to your chin and practically glomped yourself to iwa

ugh im so jealous of you!!!!!!!!!!

‘hmmmm, youre so warm iwa-san. youre like,,,,, jacob from twilight’

his eyebrow quirked and he smiled, wrapping his arm around you and tightly holding you close

‘oh? the werewolf?’

he felt your head nod

‘mhm. so warm, and strong, yet so gentle and soft’

by now, both your legs were already swung over his lap and head on his chest as you sat sideways

his fingers traced circles around your middle as his other hand was fiddling with your fingers

‘didnt he like mark a little girl?’

‘iwa-san dont talk about that!’

his laugh grumbled his chest and you giggled, trying to become even closer towards his naturally warm chest and inhale his scent

lavender mixed with peppermint

it was such an odd combination from the people you knew and you were immediately drawn to it

thats why you usually wore his jacket rather than your own

he always gets confused as to where it is but you steal it and watch him look for it

you didnt hear that from me though

it didnt take a long time for you to fall asleep and by the time the 2 coaches finally arrived and yelled at the players, they were already late

‘oikawa, i thought youd handle this properly!’

oiks whimpered from the coach’s scolding but apologized then pushed everyone in

the sight in front of them made them both boil in jealousy and squeal in uwus

you, the softest and sweetest and kindest little flower human being, being cuddled up to iwaizumi, the brute and bara arms and the ultra macho strong man, who had his head on top of you

KYAAAAAAAA

even though they knew you were a heavy sleeper and iwa slept like a rock, they still quieted down and silently walked over to their seats, hissing and shushing at anyone who even made the slightest bit of noise

rustle of the bags?

SSSSHHHHHH

seat creaking as they sit down?

SSSHHHHHHHH

they only let this slide bc your sleeping face was just so cute and they didnt have the heart to wake you up

and also face the wrath of titan iwa and be thrown into the atlantic ocean like oikawa did one time

when you finally arrived at the stadium, they waited for a rough 10 minutes just to figure out how to wake you up

they didnt want to wake up iwa first and have him yell at them but they didnt want to wake you up first either

but kyo didnt understand the dilemma and instead just goes to the back where yall were at and he goes to the seat behind you so he could reach you easily and tickles your cheek

the team is just like 👁️👄👁️

your nose scrunches at this tingling sensation until it continues so you open your eyes and finds kyo just smiling down at you

oiks is literally shaking bc he could see the smallest smile on kyo’s face

‘wake up’

with his gruff voice, it sounded like he was ordering you around but you knew he couldnt help it and blinked tiredly at him, giving him a smile of your own

‘hm, hi kyo-san’

you winced at the sudden appearance of the sunlight and that made you fully wake up before flinched at the eyes of the other players

‘hello, everyone’

you said slowly and you sat up, noticing iwa still sleeping

oiks held his breath bc hes been friends w iwa since he was still a baby and he knows that its like waking up a sleeping dragon

‘wait y/n-chan-’

but you didnt listen and poked his nose

‘iwa-san? iwa-san, we’re here’

you cooed and the poking made his eyes flutter open and with his head still tilted to the side, he swore he saw an angel by the way the sunlight hit the back of your head giving you a smiling angel effect

hm, i could get used to seeing this when i wake up

you grinned and when he finally stretched, you sat up stright, waiting for iwa to get up so you could slide out

but kyo was an impatient little bean and just hoisted you out of there and towards him behind the seat

‘come on. i got your bag’

he mumbled and you nodded, letting him hold your hand

lmao wait i forgot the time this is set

this is set during the 2nd inter-high okay? okay

oiks was still complaining at kyo and iwa hogging you but you didnt listen and continued walking towards the entrance, glancing around at the other teams

as usual, oiks and iwa were walking to the front bc yanno, captain and vice-captain, while you and kyo walked at the back, mainly bc you didnt want any player to stray off like kindaichi did last time and look for him for hours

kyo gripped your hand and you turned your head to look at him to see his eyes glaring at anything

you chuckled which made him look down at you, the glare slowly disappearing

‘hm, kyo-san, you should really invest in contacts. it doesnt matter if wearing glasses makes you feel like a nerd bc you still need it to see’

he scrunched his nose when you scolded him and he was about to retort when him and the team caught the whisperings of the nearby teams

‘oh my god, seijoh and the beautiful manager’

‘how old is she? i hope shes at least a second year’

‘ngh id tap that’

IM BLEEHHHHH

‘is he her boyfriend? if so, the competition isnt that hard then’

kyo growled and was about to lunge at the yellow jacketed boy but you held him back, also worriedly looking at your boys

‘seijoh, down’

you ordered and they shrunk back, opting to just glaring heatedly at the other teams

you could still feel kyo shaking at rage to them sexualizing you but your hands squeezing him and the other hand rubbing his arm helped him control it

‘dont make a scene, kyo-san. its your first competition since your suspension, right? and you love volleyball so please keep it in. i can protect myself’

you whispered but he let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close and continuing to glare at everyone as if he was asserting dominance

‘if they touch you-’

‘ill kick them between the legs, i know. you told me already’

you teased and he hummed in agreement

when they played, they were at ease bc the two coaches were there and they were also protective of you like their own so they wouldnt have to worry about someone to go after you

however,,

as they were warming up for the second game, you had to quickly fill up their water bottles bc they were already tired and dehydrated so you needed to fill them up

and they were all busy and you didnt want to bother them and you were going to be quick anyways so you just took the case of bottles and ran to the nearby water fountain

you were hurriedly filling them up and at your last bottle, you were about to cap it when you felt a presence behind you

he stood close and his arms snaked around your waist but you hurriedly tightened the lid and whacked him at the head with the heavy bottle

you continuously hit him and kicked him between the legs before hitting him again

‘DONT TOUCH ME AGAIN!’

you shouted and iwa and kyo were watching from the end of the hallway, panting from running so fast since they heard your shouts

okay a little flashback,

kyo was watching you from his perepharal vision and when he went up to spike, he took his eyes off of you for ONE DAMN SECOND and you nyoomed out of there

when he didnt see you anywhere, he wildly looked around and this caught the attention of the vice-captain

‘oi! kyotani! whats wrong?’

‘y/n. where is she?’

they took off running and the team was just like what

then they heard shouts and kyo knew it was you

his mad dog senses

hehe get it

he as about to tackle the guy but he saw you beat him with a water bottle and eventually taking another bottle and kicking him and hitting him with the two waters

the player cowered and scrambled to get away bc wow this girl was psycho

um no sir, she was protecting herself from hormonal testosterone filled children like you

‘YEA GO RUNNING! COME TO ME AGAIN AND ILL BEAT YOU UP HARDER! DISGUSTING! TRASH! GROSS! SCUM!’

maybe it was because the last time you were touched without consent was when you got bullied but you were definitely fighting harder and more aggressive at protecting yourself

you turned around and the rage from your eyes disappeared when you saw the two boys there

‘hey iwa-san! kyo-san! sorry, i needed to fill the water bottles!’

you grinned and placed the bottles back to the case before lugging it up

my god their eyes were shining

yep, thats my girl

when their games were over for the day, they made their way to the exit where the bus was at and you and kyo stayed behind again

you caught the eye of the guy and his team and you and kyo glared at him, both wearing a sadistic smile

UGH YALL ARE COUPLE GOALS I SWEAR

kyo even went up to him and the team shrunk leaving the guy standing there in fear at the look on his face

‘listen, i dont like it when my baby girl gets touched by filthy shite like you. so do it again, and ill chop those damn fingers of yours, got it?’

lmao he’ll come for your ankles

the guy just nodded in fear while his team were cowering at the back

you chuckled and pulled kyo to go bc as much as you liked watching this, you needed to go to the bus to go home

‘cmon, kyo, i want to go. im getting a headache from the smell of garbage’

he shifted his gaze to you and sent you a soft smile

‘okay. lets go’

hah you thought it ends there?

kyo is a dramatic little shite so he made a show of grabbing your waist and kissing your temple before flashing them a finger

oiks was tapping his foot impatiently at the bus and when you and kyo emerged from the entrace, he was about to snatch you up but kyo stood in front of you

‘EH?! KYOKEN-CHAN, I WANT TO SIT WITH Y/N-CHAN!’

‘no’

he said and didnt say anything else as he pulled you to the bus and into a two seater where you sat at the window again and he sat on the outside

‘hah? you want to sit next to me, kyo-san?’

you teased but he flushed red, hurriedly hiding in your neck

you laughed and brought a hand up to caress his nape

‘mhm’

he mumbled and you pursed your lips to hide the squeal

‘youre so cute, kyo-san’

‘not cute’

‘very cute’

‘no’

‘AM I CUTE Y/N-CHAN?’

‘SHUT UP SHITTYKAWA’

kyoken got away from your neck and went to hit the captain 

oikawa screamed

a/n: my first week of school was so weird bc we only have like 2 days and the other days are just free days bc we havent really done anything except talk about our classes but im just hating this system like ugh i actually want to go to school bc ya girl is going to a tech school and this 2-day a week is not the vibe

[musicallisto]

Ψ — 𝐜𝐨́𝐦𝐨 𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫; (leo valdez x reader)

@fives-cup-of-coffee​ requested: Hi can I please get Leo Valdez (Hoo) + number 142? Tysm,bb ! Love your blog💗💗 song: morat - cómo te atreves | 𝄞

summary: In which Leo Valdez was having a good day. That is, of course, until you showed up.

word count: 1.9k author notes: at first I wanted to make it light-hearted & comical as the song would suggest and then it progressively got more serious and angstier and then I just have no idea where it went lol I hate it here. I hope you like this! + stan Morat they’re amazing warnings: there’s like one bad word in Spanish and I hope it’s not too Spaniard bc I looked everywhere for a Mexican equivalent of “cagüendios” asdjdj Mexicans please correct me

𝐋𝐄𝐎 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐙 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 have had the boldness of saying he was having a good day. No bloodthirsty monster nor megalomaniac Titan had decided to take over the world or rip him to pieces; he hadn’t had to dodge a meteor or plunge into the heart of a volcano; and to top it all off, he had not heard Percy sing once.

No, really, despite the cold, biting wind that froze the February morning, Leo Valdez was having a good day.

That is, of course, until you showed up.

Maybe it was his wind-swept curls blocking his eyes, maybe it was the whirring of Festus’ mechanical breathing under his fingertips, maybe it was the total peace of mind that inhabited him as he whistled to himself, but he had been impervious to his surroundings, surrendered to the memory of his aerial stroll with Calypso earlier in the morning, completely devoted to patching the dragon’s attrition up, so much so that he hadn’t heard you approaching at all. In his defense, he wasn’t expecting your visit after this many years, especially not on a cold morning in the woods of Long Island.

“Leo?”

“Woah, buddy, your clicks are starting to sound more and more like a real human voice. I might have to celebrate your first word soon.”

“Leo Valdez, behind you.”

He whirled around, and stupidly enough, the first thought that went through his mind was disappointment—so Festus wasn’t learning human communication after all, despite his best efforts. But when Leo pushed the hair out of his face and devised for the first time in four years your slightly embarrassed figure, hands buried in your pockets and abashed smile on your face, he couldn’t stop his jaw and heart from dropping.

So the suspect, gravelly grunt he had heard just before was not Festus protesting—duly noted. It was you, impatiently—and rather awkwardly—scratching your throat to catch his attention... You! After four years!

“Y/N?” he called out, and the way your name rolled off his tongue, with incredulity yet ease, was enough to remind you of how familiar his voice had once been.

“In the flesh. Ta-da,” you tentatively exclaimed, unsure about whether you should step toward him.

Leo seemed just as lost and confused as you were, eyeing you without truly processing it. No one, nothing had ever prepared him to face the return of someone he’d loved so dearly after losing them for so long. No prophecy had foretold any of this, no mischievous god had ever sent a cryptic message in a dream or smoke patterns. One day he had more or less started to accept the unshakeable hole you had dug in his heart when you left, and that he had tried to fill up as well as he could with new memories and songs and adventures — and the next you were waltzing back into his life as though he hadn’t spent the better part of four years struggling to forget you?

He took a small step forward without realizing it, but his body language read all but cordiality. A bubble of irritation started to form in the pit of his stomach and throat; he had started to fidget with his adjustable spanner.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

Behind him, Festus grated, a low and rumbling sound like still water stirring upon the approach of a storm. Leo swore he heard his heartbeats echoed in the loyal beast’s enormous ribcage.

“What do you want from me, Y/N? Haven’t you done enough?”

Oh, you had done more than enough. When you were friends and he had first fallen for you — you had mended his broken heart, stayed by his side as everyone went on to celebrate life and renewal and he was stuck in the downpour that Calypso’s first departure had wreaked. That was more than enough. When you were just a little more than friends and he had started to learn anew, step by step, what it meant to love, and first and foremost let himself be loved — you had been patient and kind, you had walked hand in hand with him on the road to healing, never pushing him to go further than he could. That was more than enough. When you were definitely more than friends, and he had found himself falling deeper in love with you with each passing day — you had loved him all the same, or so you promised, and made his every day an adventure and a safe embrace like no other. That was more than he ever deserved.

When you had left without warning for some foreign place on the other side of the world, leaving him only a note and a handful of colored glass shards, never to give a sign of life in four years...

That was more than enough.

You had dared to take one step forward, palms outstretched as if you were calming a wild animal. A frenzy of conflicting flames bubbled in Leo’s stomach — you were a stranger now to him, and he was once again happy with Calypso. Then why did he get the overwhelming urge to jump into your arms and rediscover the sweetness of your embrace?

“I’m so sorry, Leo, I never wanted to leave, I truly didn’t, but you have to understand —”

“Understand what? That whatever business you had to attend to was more important than me? That I meant so little to you that you just left me a post-it note with a sad smiley face on it and never came back? You didn’t send a word in four years! I bet you didn’t even think about me on February 29th!”

“Actually I left in April, but —”

“Can you imagine how hard it was for me to get over you? To forget you? No, scratch that—I haven’t forgotten you, no matter how hard I try to convince myself. But I was doing just fine, and you have a whole lotta nerve coming back now that I’m finally happy without you! ¡Pues huevos! ¡Al carajo todo esto!”

And he went on and on in a string of all the curses he’d remembered from when his mother argued on the phone, his cheeks reddening progressively, his breath faltering.

You stayed immobile, just an arms’ length apart from him until he had spewed out everything he’d carried for years. His chest trembled, shuddering at all the dust and waste it had swept under the rug, now displayed in full light before him; and you ached for him, underneath your cool composure, you truly did, just as you had ached yourself when you had left. How could you not? Leo had been light and warmth and fire and a comforting smell of smoke and gasoline and coffee-stained fingertips on your cheek and your neck... and most of all, the heart you would least have wanted to break.

“Leo...”

You murmured his name a few more times, until he looked up at you. Oh, that face, red and weepy and distorted by rage and overwhelm! How you hated it in those moments, like a cheap mask over a Roman statue!

“Leo, I’m so sorry. I know it doesn’t excuse anything, but trust me, I would never have done that if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.”

“What was, Y/N? What was more important than me?”

“I... I can’t tell you, Leo. I would if I could, but — “

“Of course! Even after four years, you’re still so full of secrets!”

“Jupiter told me not to say anything. To anyone.”

Leo’s parted lips, already fuming with more witty remarks, closed shut, and his chocolate eyes widened. The god of gods’ name was always enough to temper even the most boisterous of heroes’ fumes of anger, but not Leo’s erratic heart.

“Jupiter?”

“I got a mission from the gods. That’s why I left. To Rome. But they made me swear I didn’t say anything... not even an excuse.”

Leo swallowed, with difficulty, as if the information was a toxic flame permeating his throat. Before he could even register it, you continued, breathing deeply to steady your breathing:

“I owe you more than an apology... an explanation, at least. If you want to hear it... meet me in the woods at the gate of Camp Half-Blood at sundown. I’d understand if you didn’t come, but... just know that I’ll be waiting for you.”

For a split second, you were traversed by the thought, almost automatic, of leaning over to kiss Leo’s cheek, just like you had done it thousands of times to wish him goodbye; but you cut your impulses fast enough, only staring at his eyes for a few long minutes of dumbfounded silence before you turned on your heels and left.

In a single blink, the wind had caught your silhouette and carried it into the shadows of the trees.

And Leo stood there, colder than he would have admitted, motionless and partly oblivious to Festus’ impatient whirring over his shoulder. His chest rose and fell rapidly, quicker than the leaves rustling in the breeze; it had dried in his eyes too much for any tears to well up, despite the painful pang spreading in his chest. Had it not been for the weight in his ribcage, he could’ve believed you were but a ghost in the forest...

When you had left him without a word nor even a glimpse of a smile, Jason had admonished him to be brave and stronger than whatever misery you had inflicted; to not let any of your little games gnaw at his head and drive him wild. It was how Jason had always dealt with heartbreak and hardship because he was built of cold marble and electric stone; but despite Leo’s best efforts to follow his advice, he was Hephaestus’s son. Neither of them was exactly known for their fine handling of matters of the heart...

He had believed his inalterable strength would come back to him with Calypso. It was an endless ebb and flow between the two of you, each consoling him after the other left and tore a little piece of his heart. She had promised she’d be better — better than you, or than herself the first time around, he didn’t know, but he had believed her all the same.

But maybe what Leo had mistakenly taken for strength when he laughed himself to death with Calypso and captured her entirely with his lips, might have been solely absence. He had always had a knack for following in your steps... just like you had slipped from his embrace without a word, he had disappeared from himself imperceptibly.

Maybe he loved Calypso, truly and sincerely... but not in the way that allowed him to find himself.

Well, to hell with courage, with Jason’s heroic virtue and rectitude. Leo was realizing just then that the reason he clung so desperately to your memory was that he wasn’t ready to let it go just yet, and if it made him a coward, he accepted the fate with open arms.

“Come on, buddy,” Leo exhaled, a little shaky still. “Let’s get you patched up before sundown.”

Maybe it was a good day after all.

Or just a less-than-awful one at the very least.

tagging; @fives-cup-of-coffee​​ @softeninglooks​​ (all my writing) / @lxncelot​​ (Riordanverse)

[parvulous-writings]

Long time, no see // Mark Renton X Reader

Request: hello it could be a request about Mark renton where they were together, but they split up bc addition luwgo meet again in t2 happy ending​

Requested by:  @awesomemikaus

Summary: Mark Renton returns to Edinburgh after 20 years, with more than just catching up with the old group on his mind. 

Warnings: Drug (heroin) addictions. Strong language. Angst.

Words: 2.26K 

Notes: I think Ewan characters are slowly starting to become my brand. Not complaining, just observing.  As usual, ask/submit box is open! 

Key; Y/N - your name Y/L/N - your last name Y/H - your honourific (Mr, Ms, Mx, Dr, etc.)  (Thought this might be helpful for those who use the interactive fics extension) 

Not my gif

You and Mark had had a rather... Rocky relationship.  This was not exactly surprising, given both of your situations. Mark was stuck in a rut with his addiction, and you were starting to be dragged down into that ditch with him from how much you were trying to help him. This had happened time and time again, and by that point you had reached your limit. 

You had stuck by him through thick and thin for as long as you could, for as long as your heart would allow, but after a while you simply could not any more. So, you had broken up with him. It was gut wrenching, heart shattering to see his face fall when you told him you were leaving you, but you didn’t have to see it for long. He quickly shut you out- which if anything was worse. You wanted to speak with him, to talk him through why you had decided to leave in more depth, but he just ignored you. You got used to it after a while, not seeing him anymore, and occasionally talking to Spud- the only one of Mark’s friends you had really gotten on with to any degree. 

About two weeks after you had gone your separate ways, Spud told you Mark had run off, leaving everything in Edinburgh behind.  “Good for him.” You muttered in reply, shaking your head slowly. Spud left you alone for the rest of the day after that, and it wasn’t long until you hardly spoke to him either; Mark, Simon, Daniel and Tommy soon becoming nostalgic memories, reminders of your earlier, more reckless years. 

Twenty years on, your life has changed, for the better in most areas. You’d moved uptown after getting a steady job- originally just as a cashier, but you’d worked your way up to managing one of the supermarkets. You no longer had to live down in the rougher areas of Edinburgh, and for that you were very glad. You had considered moving out of Edinburgh altogether, but there was something holding you back. A feeling of, well, home. Rough streets aside, you feel like there was nothing more familiar to you than Edinburgh now, and you’d learnt to live with the more undesirable side of everything. It’s just how things were. Occasionally you’d catch a glimpse of Spud, or Sick boy, and though you’d never speak to them now, they’d get you remembering. Memories of times long now passed would crop up in your mind, making you wonder “What if?” What if you hadn’t left Mark? Would he still be in Edinburgh? What if you had helped him through his addictions? Where would you both be now?  But the question that often seemed to stalk your mind late at night was; what if Mark came back?

More often than not you pushed this thought away, not wanting to dwell on anything to do with Renton. His time in your life was over, you’d tell yourself, he’d run off to wherever, and there was not much chance of him coming back. Least of all coming back and seeing you. This was what you told yourself whenever your mind brought it up. It had been twenty years since you last saw him, why on earth would he come back? 

These sorts of questions were pushed to the side during the day, when you were at work. Your days were usually the same, same old paperwork and phone calls, with a few instances where you had to step out to help your staff deal with a customer. However, this particular day wanted to take things in a slightly different direction.  The first thing to be different was your assistant opening your door- which did not happen unless you asked for a coffee. Which you had not. You looked up from your papers, looking over at the young man, who cleared his throat. “(Y/H) (Y/L/N), someone wants to see you.” He gestured with his head out of the door. You sighed gently in response.  “I’ll be out on the floor in a second, Stu. Tell them to hold on.” You replied, starting to temporarily wrap up your work, and Stu shook his head a little bit. “No, no, I mean they’re back here...” He gestured over his shoulder with his thumb, and you started to frown in confusion. Your store wasn’t due for an inspection till several months down the line, and there wasn’t exactly any big news or concerns bobbing about right now. “Huh?” You voiced your bafflement. “Who is it?” You asked him, to which he promptly shrugged.  “Dunno. Said he knew you donkey’s years back...” He told you bluntly, and you shook your head.  “Tell him to go away, I have work to do. If he really wants to see me, and he does know me, then he can wait around. I’m not going to get in trouble for something as stupid as that. You know what my luck is like, Stu.” You begin to return to your work even as you speak. Stu nodded, and began to close the door.  “Right you are.” He confirmed, leaving you to your papers for the rest of the work day. 

The rest of said work day went by rather quickly, with you too absorbed in your work to even give a thought to the random person who had asked for you earlier. It had quite slipped your mind as you packed up your things, leaving the building into the cool evening air.Stu hadn’t mentioned the person either, so they must have left, giving you no reason to stick around. Thankfully it wasn’t too dark just yet, but a few streetlights here and there had already flickered to life, casting a strong orange light onto the things beneath them.

There was nothing special about this walk home, it was the same as any other. Drab, uneventful, quiet besides the hum of car engines as they passed you by.  As you approached your home, you fumbled with your keys- the cold was enough to numb the tips of your fingers somewhat now. You had partially got through unlocking your door, when a voice made you look over you shoulder.  “(Y/N),” It was a man, around his mid-forties it seemed, with short, almost mousy brown hair, bright and vibrant blue eyes. You knew those eyes, too well.  Those were Mark Renton’s eyes. 

“Mark?” You ask, disbelieving the sight before you. You turn away from your door, your keys pressing against the palm of your hand. “Mark, what are you doing here?” You asked him, moving forward until you were about six feet away from him. “How did you even find out where I live?”  “I... I didn’t.” Mark admitted quietly. “I kind of followed you in my car.”  “Followed me in your car?” You echoed, still in disbelief, and partly in shock now too. You hadn’t noticed him following you- you probably should have done, but you didn’t. This got you thinking, and you decided to voice these thoughts aloud. “Hang on... Does that mean that was you asking for me at work?” You asked, blinking over at him as he nodded gently.  “Yeah... I know it probably wasn’t the best time to call for you, but I needed to see you, and Daniel- er- Spud, told me where you worked... Or at least where he last knew you worked.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke. You just stared at him for a moment, your mind working double time to try and process everything he had just said.  Renton was back. He’d asked Spud where you were. He’d gone exactly where Spud would have told him. He couldn’t get to you, and thus had followed you home. He said he needed to see you. 

“Mark. You’ve been gone for twenty years. What on earth could you need to see me for?” You asked, folding your arms over your chest. “Why come back now?”  Mark sighed quietly, looking down at his feet for a moment as he took a slow breath. “I had a heart attack.” He tells you, bluntly. There’s no other way for him to say it, and there’s no point in sugar-coating it. “I’ve got a stent there now... Should last a few years, apparently..” He continued, putting his hands into his pockets. “It put a lot of things into perspective for me.. Made me want to come back here, for a little bit of nostalgia, I suppose.” He nodded slowly at his own words, confirming them to himself. You’re still stunned to silence for a moment longer.  “What.. What did it put into perspective?” You ask curiously, clearing your throat quietly mid-sentence. 

“That I was stupid fucker in my twenties.” Mark joked quietly, trying to lighten the mood, though he didn’t smile all that much.  “Are you talking about the addiction to heroin?” You asked, clearly unamused, and he nods slowly.  “Yeah.. Among a couple of other things.” He sighs gently, and at your questioning look, he continues to clarify. “I... I was thinking about us,(Y/N). I was thinking about what we had back then, and how stupidly I threw it away for a drug that almost killed me.”

You don’t know what you were initially expecting him to say, but it was certainly not that. Your shock clearly showed on your face, because you saw Mark’s expression shift slightly- mainly in his eyes- to worry. He was worried he’d overstepped something too quickly when he spoke his mind. He starts to speak again, “Look... I know it’s a little bit out of nowhere, but.. Could I come in? We can talk about it a little more...”He offered a warm smile to you, and to be honest you were starting to feel the cold chill in the air a little more now. You nodded, gesturing for him to follow. 

“Alright... But you’re going to have to ignore the mess. I wasn’t really expecting visitors.” You mumbled, turning around to unlock and open your front door.  “Don’t worry... I’m pretty sure that it’ll be much better than what we had twenty years back.” He joked in reply, giving you a little bit of a smile. You rolled your eyes, and dumped your keys on a small door-side table with a loud clink. “ “You want a cup of tea, or something?” You asked, being a polite host. He shook his head in reply.  “No, thank you. I’m alright.” He gave you a smile, “I’d prefer it if we just... Talked.” He told you, as you led him through to your small-yet-homey living room. 

You took a seat on the sofa, and he sat at the other end. He looked at you briefly, before averting his gaze to your coffee table. “So, you probably have some questions...”  “Yeah, no shit, Renton. You’ve been gone for twenty bloody years, didn’t hear a word from you, then suddenly, you’re back in Edinburgh, wanting to make amends.” You sighed quietly. “So,what gives? Yeah, you said about the heart attack, but was that really the entire reason of why the hell you followed me home in your car?” You asked, leaning back in your seat as you folded your arms over your chest. Mark seemed to think this over for a moment.  “Well, okay, maybe it’s not the only reason,” He admitted, finally moving his gaze to meet yours again. You gave him a look, prompting him to continue, and so he did. “I... I missed you. For twenty years, I’ve missed you. I wanted to take you with me when I left, but I couldn’t. I had to leave before the boys woke up, and you said you didn’t want to see me again. Which, I mean, rightly so, a lot of less than desirable things happened to the pair of us back then.” He was starting to ramble, his nerves starting to show and get the better of him. Whilst your were tired from your long day of work, so weren’t in the mood to deal with something too emotional. 

“What’s your point, Mark?” You asked with a gentle sigh,trying to seem at least a little bit empathetic towards him.  “My point is,” Mark echoed, “I miss you still. I want to apologise. And I want to ask for a second chance.”  The third point of his caught you slightly off guard. Another chance? After what happened last time? You weren’t so sure, and that indecisiveness clearly showed on your face, as Mark rushed to continue. “It doesn’t have to anything major at the minute. Just like... A coffee, or something, so we can get to know each other again.” He provided a simple plan, which did seem very enticing. Unable to say no because of the happy memories you could recall of him- few as they may or may not have been- you started to nod.  “Alright... I think a coffee sometime would be nice.” You started to smile a little bit, and Mark began to do the same. You sat in silence for a few moments, starting to lapse back into subtle behaviours the pair of you had when you were younger. You broke the silence after a little bit, “Would you like to stay the night?” 

Mark smiled, starting to nod a little bit. There was the (Y/N) he remembered. “I would very much like to, yes.” He told you. You nodded, your smile returning. 

“Mark?” “Yes, (Y/N)?” “I don’t know if any of the boys told you this, but... Welcome home, Rent-boy.” 

[adorethedistance]

Something to Lose - Luke Patterson X Covington!Reader

JATP masterlist

Requested: luke imagine idea so Luke’s old gf is dead and she’s calebs daughter and is trying to get him to stay with her instead of cross over and then he doenst show up in stand tall . I just had this idea and near had a fit trying to get it down love ur writing also 💖

Warnings: angst, a lot of crying, I don’t even think there’s swearing in this one.

Words: 2293

A/n: I hope I did the request justice. This was kinda stressful the entire time writing it just bc of all the ideas that came. Like I’d be writing and then my brain would be like ‘hey what if this happened’ and then I’m like ‘oh that’s evil. put it in the fic.’ you know?

I begin nervously playing with the tulle skirt of my above-the-knee length party dress. I wanted a mini but dad refused to let me be visible to ghosts and lifers in anything ‘revealing’, so we compromised on above the knee. It’s a pretty dress, the black long sleeves are sheer and the back is completely open, and that’s as scandalous as dad would allow. Ironic considering his dancers’ costumes are cut out fringe leotards and nude tights.

And speaking of dancers,

“Who was that?” I ask Francesca as she comes to stand next to me by the black music stands, branded with the infamous Hollywood Ghost Club logo.

“Who was who?”She takes a tiny sip of water and readjusts her massive blue and purple feather headdress. Dad always chooses the most extravagant costumes. Sometimes I wonder how they’re able to dance without falling over from being so… top heavy I guess?

“That guy you were dancing in front of in the denim coat?”

“What are you talking about? I was dancing in front of Willie.”

“Nice try, I know that was Angie. Maybe next time.” On the first day the girls set foot in the place they were such amazing dancers, dad invited them to perform front and center if they wanted to join the club. The downside was he could never tell them apart. I don’t know how though, they’re not indiscernibly identical. I made it my goal to always be able to tell them apart, and they made it their goal to get me to mix them up just once.

“We’re gonna get you one of these days.”

“Yeah, sure. But, uh, do you know who he is?”

“I don’t but maybe you will?”

“What?” Glancing up to Fran’s face she gives me a look and directs me with her eyes before smiling smugly and walking away. I follow her gaze to see my dad standing on the far side of their table, talking with the attractive stranger. His excitement makes his every movement animated and he can’t even seem to string a coherent sentence. Inviting them to sit down, dad starts saying something about Willie and magic? The conversation doesn’t last long and once he leaves, I debate whether or not to approach the handsome stranger.

“Who are we looking at?” I’m startled when I hear Angie’s voice in my right ear.

“Oh. The one at the front table in the denim overcoat.”

“You mean the one Franny was dancing in front of?”

“She already tried that.”

“Dammit!” I laugh at yet another failed attempt.

“I don’t even know why you guys bother anymore.”

“Whatever. Why are we staring at him?”

“I’m debating whether or not I should talk to him.” Angie sends me a look that says ‘have more faith in yourself’ which I gleefully ignore.

“Shoot your shot. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“My dad could interrupt and say something totally embarrassing. He wasn’t done talking to them, he just had to do rounds.”

“Girl, have you seen how many people are here tonight? He’s not gonna be done any time soon, so go while you still have some time!” Angie punctuates her sentence by gently pushing me forward, and I stumble in the direction of the cute stranger. The sudden jerky movement seems to catch his attention and his eyes soften once they meet mine. He smiles softly as a greeting and when I return the look, he takes that as an invitation to walk my way. I’m standing in the middle of the dance floor, frozen partially out of fear and partly out of curiosity.

“Hey, I’m Luke,” denim extends his hand politely and… extremely flusteredly? He sounds breathless and a touch fearful. I’m used to the energy as the club intimidates first-timers. I take his hand,

“Y/n.” Omitting my last name tends to do me a lot of good.

“Wow. That’s really pretty,”

“It’s nothing special.”

“You’re really pretty.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

“So, uh-“ he trails off in search of a conversation starter, “What brings you to the Hollywood Ghost Club?”

“Oh, you know... just uhm- just a night out.”

“Do you come to the Club a lot?”

“You could say that. It’s pretty much a second home.”

“Y/n, darling. There you are!” Luke watches my face drop from its pleasant ‘chatting with guests’ expression, to a relaxed almost-frown.

“Here I am.”

“And I see you’ve met Luke.”

“Yes sir.”

“I trust my daughter is keeping you in good company?”

“Your daughter?” Luke nearly chokes on the mystical air of the Hollywood Ghost Club.

“I did not choke!”

“You choked.” Luke and I argue over the details of how we met, in the backstage/dressing room area of the Club. It feels like lifetimes ago, but it wasn’t. And yet in such a short time, we had become completely infatuated and comfortable with one another. So much so that me wearing a floor-length evening gown and jewels doesn’t make me feel out of place with his jeans and flannel shirt.

Despite my light laughter, Luke’s face is fairly flat. He’s beginning to stare off into space, inattentive from our lull in the conversation.

“Hey, you okay?” He snaps back into reality.

“Uh, yeah.”

“You don’t sound so sure.” After a long moment of hesitation, he begins to speak, not looking up from the scuff on the linoleum flooring.

“Y/n, I have something to tell you.”

“What’s up?”

“The boys and I… We… we have unfinished business…”

“Of course you do. That’s why you’re here- why all of us are here.”

“We’re gonna play the Orpheum tonight. At seven.”

“That’s so cool! Tha-” I feel my words trapped in my throat. “That’s your unfinished business... Play the show you never got to before you died.” I feel a well of tears flooding my bottom lash line. They’re not tears of sadness. “That’s your unfinished business. And you’re playing there tonight. Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you found out?!” I cry out in anguish. Luke’s face falls from a somber reluctance to break the news, to utter heartbreak.

“Y/n, I-”

“I thought we had something.”

“We do!”

“Then why would you wait to tell me until,” I check the analog clock on the wall behind him, “An hour before you go?!”

“I wanted to enjoy our last day together without having to think about it. I didn’t think it’d make you this angry.”

“Well, I am angry, Luke!” My sentence is punctuated by Luke getting zapped by a jolt of electricity. He groans as he tries to remain standing upright. The tears streaming down my face slow from a mix of anger to extreme worry.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Your dad gave us a ‘club stamp’ that first night we left.” My face falls slack as I register what he’s just said. Without another word, I furiously push out of my chair and out of the dressing room. Each stride is larger than the last as I let my legs carry me into the wings of the Club’s circular stage. When I have the familiar silver tinsel entrance in sight, I stop cold in my tracks. In front of me stands Alex, in a dazzling pink coat and diamond-covered oxfords, and Reggie, in a luxurious red vest and coat covered in black floral detailing. In front of them stands my father in his extravagant purple number that’s reminiscent of his outfits he wore when performing.

My frustrated steps carried me into his sight and the volume of my strides drew the two boys’ attention behind them. Luke. Luke stupidly followed me out here, and father merely looks at me and blinks authoritatively before redirecting his gaze onto my boyfriend.

“There you are. I knew I was missing a third musketeer.” With a snap of his fingers, dad has poofed Luke out from behind me and poofs him back in between his bandmates. When he reappears he’s wearing a deep blue suit with a black, tiered chiffon collar and bowtie.

“Isn’t it nice that you’re all here together?” Dad launches into his huge speech, seemingly convincing them to stay at the club. He mentions everything they want can be theirs here like Willie, the glory of performing, connection with an audience. As he speaks, he steps forward and reaches up. I go to yell and reach for Luke, but nothing comes out. There’s no sound coming from my mouth, and the undersurface of my black heels feel frozen solid to the ground. Dad notices my movement and shoots me a look to knock it off. Luke sees and as he moves to turn his head, dad reaches up to keep his focus forward before adjusting Luke’s collar for him. He continues with his big speech as another jolt graces all three boys at once.

“I suggest you accept my offer because the clock is ticking,” he downs one more sip of water, preparing to perform, “Ouch. You know where to find me.”

When he disappears onto the stage, I’m released from my spot and the momentum of my struggling launches me forward. Luke turns around just in time to catch me and once he does he doesn’t release me from his arms.

“Luke, I didn’t-”

“Shhh. It’s okay. You’re okay.” He holds me in his arms, one hand on my head to cradle me close to his chest and the other wrapped soothingly around my waist.

“He’s right,” I choke out my words through heavy sobs, “You don’t know that the Orpheum is really your unfinished business. What if it’s not? These jolts could kill you, Luke. For good. My dad may be powerful, but he doesn’t have the power to bring you back from this.”

When I look up, Luke has a heartbroken expression painted all over his face. Before I can speak again, Alex poofs out from beside us. Sharing a worried expression, Luke and I look out onto the stage where dad has him soloing front and center.

“I-I-I, I made a-a promise-”

“To Julie, I know. But if she’s really as wonderful, and as kind, and understanding, and loving as you describe her to be, won’t she understand?” Luke’s expression softens in realization.

“You’re actually considering staying with Caleb?” Reggie asks Luke incredulously. Before he can receive an answer, he, too, is poofed out onto the stage in Alex’s previous spot, to play a jazzy bass solo. Luke looks all around the backstage area, at the audience, between his band members, and at my dad. Finally, his eyes settle on mine. I can’t read his expression; I wish I knew what was going on inside his head.

“Stay.”

Luke and I run out of time when dad calls his name. He’s poofed us apart so I’m frozen against the downstage wall, out of sight from the audience, and Luke is struggling his way onto the stage.

Dad has him soloing for the audience, to create a musical dialogue between the two of them. Luke, conflicted, looks between me and my dad unsure of how to feel. The performer side of him must be loving the high that comes with performing in the club, but the loyal side of him, I can tell, is yearning for Julie.

When the song ends, the three boys share a single look of concern and remorse, no doubt for Julie. I can’t help but feel selfish asking him to stay. It’s not fair for me to ask him to choose between me and her... But that’s not what I’m asking. If all three of them stay here, they don’t risk dying for good. Surely Julie can understand choosing life, or the afterlife rather, over freedom is a rational trade.

Coming to his senses Luke runs off stage.

“Y/n-”

“It’s selfish of me to ask you to stay-”

“I’m staying.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to die, Y/n. If that means I have to play in your dad’s band, fine. But at least we can be together.” Luke runs the pad of his thumb across my cheek to wipe away the tear shed out of joy. Our moment is ended when Alex and Reggie have also returned backstage.

“Boys, if we stay here, we’ll get to live and make music for as long as we want.”

“You said it yourself, we made a promise. To Julie.” Reggie almost looks like he wants to cry.

“If this is what you want- to spend eternity playing jazz solos behind Caleb -I can’t stop you. But I’m not gonna let Julie down. Not again.” Alex searches Luke’s face for any hesitation. When he doesn’t find the change of heart he’s looking for, Alex nods and fidgets with his drumsticks in one hand. The sudden swell of emotion leads the two of them to hug each other tightly; I can’t imagine their pain of knowing they might never see each other again. When they let go, Luke and Reggie share in a hug and the heartache pulls Alex into their hug.

“Can you do me a favor?” Luke asks, sniffling away a few tears. Reggie and Alex nod,

“Anything.”

“Will you tell Julie she’s a star for me, one last time?” A sharp jolt hits the three of them in unison once more; a signal that it’s really time to say goodbye. With sorrowful smiles, Alex and Reggie poof out of the Hollywood Ghost Club for the last time.

When he turns around, Luke’s face is red and puffy from crying and the sight breaks my heart clean in half. I pull him into a hug and press a lingering kiss to his cheek.

“I love you, Luke.”

“I love you, Y/n.”

***

A/n: YOWZA this really made my heart hurt for Julie sm. I love her and if this were canon I’d have actually kermit.

Taglist: @caitsymichelle13 @kaitlyn2907 @itz-jas @crybabyddl @kcd15 @kinda-really-lost @calamitykaty @morganayennefertyrell @n0wornever @dream-a-little-bigger-x @mrstodorooki @vicesvsvirturesfanfic @curlybrownhairedboys @amazinggracy @kaitieskidmore1 @asdfghjkl-fanfics @ghostlygreenbean @juliefromaustralia @merceret @jemimah-b99 @ifilwtmfc @thesweetestsinner @imsydneywalker @lovesanimals @thebloodthirstyvampress @bumbleberry-pie @losers-club6 @tefilovesreading @dmcfarland1@joynerxmercer @kexrtiz @talk-on-the-street @phantompogues @konciousdreamer @sunsetcurvej

[karliahs]

It’s been months since he was this close to anyone. It might have even been Jon the last time, too; helping him walk down in the tunnels. How did they get from there to here? How-

“Tim?” Jon asks softly, pulling back to look him in the face, and it’s the loss of that warmth and pressure that makes Tim realise he’s started breathing in great, shuddering gasps. He screws his eyes shut and Jon reverses their positions, pulling Tim into his chest with unpracticed but fervent hands. His T-shirt is soft against Tim’s face; he hadn’t thought Jon would own anything so soft.

Tim’s throat is burning, but as long as he keeps his eyes screwed shut then he isn’t crying. He isn’t crying on Jonathan Sims the night before they both-

“It’s alright, Tim,” Jon says, searching for words of comfort he only half believes himself. “It’s - whatever happens tomorrow, it can’t - we’re safe here.”

Tim laughs bitterly. “Nothing’s fucking safe.”

Jon seems unable to decide between rubbing soothingly at his back and just holding on as tight as he can. Tim shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be giving into this. But there's a reason he lost so much time when he should have been searching for the thing that killed his brother. The Institute was full of potential answers, but it was also full of bright, lovely distractions. He's buried in the arms of one of them.

Tim didn't used to think of that as weakness - but he didn't used to think there were worms that burrowed through your flesh, or creatures that took every true memory of your friend without you ever noticing, or monsters that played with skin, played with the fabric of who you were, because it was fun.

Tim doesn't know fucking anything, and maybe he never did, and now all that's left is to-

"What can I do, Tim?" Jon asks, and he sounds so honestly lost.

"Turn back time," Tim murmurs into his shirt. "Don't let go," he adds a moment later.

“I won’t, I won’t.” Jon clutches him impossibly closer. Tim’s world narrows down into warmth and pressure. “Tim, we don’t - we don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do this.”

The gentle vibration of his words is almost enough to distract Tim from the words themselves. He turns his head so he can speak un-muffled, and immediately misses the comfort of being closed in. “I do, Jon. I can’t…” Tim fumbles for the right words, wondering faintly if this is how Jon feels all the time, struggling to give voice to the unspeakable. “The worst thing in all of this, the worst thing would be if they hurt someone again while I’m just standing there."

Still not crying, not as long as his eyes are tight shut. He feels Jon hesitate, then push forward anyway. "Even if...Tim, even if you had moved, what could you have done?"

Tim squeezes hard at Jon's side and isn't sure if he means it as a warning or a plea.

"I'd never have met you," Jon says, so soft Tim isn't sure if he was meant to hear it.

"Was just thinking before,” Tim replies, because he’s fucked up enough that he might as well keep going, “I wish I'd met you somewhere normal."

Jon’s hands still, and for a moment the rise and fall of his chest does too. It’s the closest thing to absolution Tim’s ever offered. He’s glad he can’t see Jon’s face, can’t see whatever shock or gratitude is playing out there. At some point, he made himself into someone who no one expects to be kind. He wonders, vaguely, whether it counts as forgiveness, to want someone to spend what might be their last night on earth forgiven.

from: enemy of my enemy, aka jon and tim sit in various rooms and talk: the fic

thank you for asking!!! here we go:

It’s been months since he was this close to anyone. It might have even been Jon the last time, too; helping him walk down in the tunnels. How did they get from there to here? How-

do you ever just think about how fast things went wrong for the s1 crew...they were friends just a few months ago!! a few weeks in between no current supernatural experiences -> trying to survive supernatural experiences together by physically holding each other up -> complete alienation. some experiences just defy comprehension, emotionally speaking, even when you can see every step that led from there to here

i also like to make myself sad by thinking about the practical day to day aspects of everyone in the archives being alienated from everyone else. like...when were either of them last touched (non-violently)

so much has changed but they've circled back around to each other

“Tim?” Jon asks softly, pulling back to look him in the face, and it’s the loss of that warmth and pressure that makes Tim realise he’s started breathing in great, shuddering gasps. He screws his eyes shut and Jon reverses their positions, pulling Tim into his chest with unpracticed but fervent hands. His T-shirt is soft against Tim’s face; he hadn’t thought Jon would own anything so soft.

'person starts crying without noticing until someone points it out' is a trope i generally try to stay away from partly because i just can't imagine that ever happening to me and therefore it doesn't ping my realism senses, but i get one (1) because it is undeniably juicy

this fic is very zeroed in on tim's perspective in terms of small sensory experiences, for a few reasons - drive home emotions, portray dissociation, and because i like writing about how it actually feels to be in a romantic gesture, to make it more real than just like...an image of people holding each other

small detail that jives with bigger points - jon's shirt unexpectedly soft, jon's surprising ability to still provide him with gentleness and comfort

i think jon here has no idea what to do but has been given permission to touch so is living his best tactile life with this inexpert hugging and is hoping that does something

Tim’s throat is burning, but as long as he keeps his eyes screwed shut then he isn’t crying. He isn’t crying on Jonathan Sims the night before they both-

“It’s alright, Tim,” Jon says, searching for words of comfort he only half believes himself. “It’s - whatever happens tomorrow, it can’t - we’re safe here.”

Tim laughs bitterly. “Nothing’s fucking safe.”

tim spends a lot of this fic having his inner-monologue cut off to try and show as well as tell that he's struggling to stay present

that 'both-' hurts me, honestly. hurts more than it actually being spelled out, i think. write to upset yourself, maybe you will upset others in the process

half is a word i absolutely overuse in writing but cannot stop. no one ever does something all the way, they are half- believing, wondering, worrying, etc.

i'm never 100% sure if i'm accurately capturing the way that jon speaks in canon but i did always like and want to emulate the fact that he speaks kind of hesitantly, trips over his own words, etc

Jon seems unable to decide between rubbing soothingly at his back and just holding on as tight as he can. Tim shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be giving into this. But there's a reason he lost so much time when he should have been searching for the thing that killed his brother. The Institute was full of potential answers, but it was also full of bright, lovely distractions. He's buried in the arms of one of them.

Tim didn't used to think of that as weakness - but he didn't used to think there were worms that burrowed through your flesh, or creatures that took every true memory of your friend without you ever noticing, or monsters that played with skin, played with the fabric of who you were, because it was fun.

again, jon does not know what to do so he is just trying. just trying to do any kind of soothing hand thing

i thought quite a lot about reconciling the seemingly happy-go-lucky tim that gets presented to us early on vs learning why he came to the institute in the first place. tim here is framing that as a failing because he's miserable and traumatised and guilt-ridden, but i think at least part of it was actual healing. he was taking time and enjoying the people around him and trying to make the best of things, until it all went wrong

related, the self-recrimination of tim hating himself for not having seen any of this coming, even though they were not predictable events...very human nature after you have been through something terrible. how dare i have not anticipated every trouble that ever befell me

'played with skin, played with the fabric of who you were' - a lot of this story was me just enjoying the themes of stranger-horror. i love the terror of knowing there are creatures who can change aspects of you that should be unchangeable, physically in skin and otherwise in terms of identity and memory. love applying that to jon and tim, who have been fundamentally changed against their will by trauma and their roles in a story neither of them wanted. skin as metaphor for identity, and learning that people can take away your skin is then utterly terrifying to someone who already feels like his identity is being forcibly eroded. and then that shared terror brings them back together, just a little

Tim doesn't know fucking anything, and maybe he never did, and now all that's left is to-

"What can I do, Tim?" Jon asks, and he sounds so honestly lost.

"Turn back time," Tim murmurs into his shirt. "Don't let go," he adds a moment later.

this fic...is so sad. why did i write this. why am i being attacked by my past self and their awful words on this day

explicit admission that tim wants/needs jon here...even a chapter ago he was like yeah i'm going to america with jon bc i am regrettably relying on him as my reality-anchor, nothing emotional here

“I won’t, I won’t.” Jon clutches him impossibly closer. Tim’s world narrows down into warmth and pressure. “Tim, we don’t - we don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do this.”

The gentle vibration of his words is almost enough to distract Tim from the words themselves. He turns his head so he can speak un-muffled, and immediately misses the comfort of being closed in. “I do, Jon. I can’t…” Tim fumbles for the right words, wondering faintly if this is how Jon feels all the time, struggling to give voice to the unspeakable. “The worst thing in all of this, the worst thing would be if they hurt someone again while I’m just standing there."  

Still not crying, not as long as his eyes are tight shut. He feels Jon hesitate, then push forward anyway. "Even if...Tim, even if you had moved, what could you have done?"

Tim squeezes hard at Jon's side and isn't sure if he means it as a warning or a plea.

warmth, pressure, vibration...continuing to be fascinated by the little tactile details of what it feels like to be close to someone

emotional logic is so powerful. tim moving most likely would have either made no difference to the outcome or worsened it (because both him and danny would have died) but of course for tim standing still while someone he loves was destroyed counts for everything about who he is. sometimes blame feels better than helplessness, which mirrors what happens with his friendship with jon - is it scarier if they are all helpless, or if this one guy is The Enemy

‘give voice to the unspeakable’ sometimes i like poetic descriptions of jon’s role as archivist

"I'd never have met you," Jon says, so soft Tim isn't sure if he was meant to hear it.

"Was just thinking before,” Tim replies, because he’s fucked up enough that he might as well keep going, “I wish I'd met you somewhere normal."

Jon’s hands still, and for a moment the rise and fall of his chest does too. It’s the closest thing to absolution Tim’s ever offered. He’s glad he can’t see Jon’s face, can’t see whatever shock or gratitude is playing out there. At some point, he made himself into someone who no one expects to be kind. He wonders, vaguely, whether it counts as forgiveness, to want someone to spend what might be their last night on earth forgiven.

:(

tim views talking with and connecting to people as fucking up. how much of that is even slightly shrouded in logic and how much is just - tim is depressed and deep in self-loathing, somewhere still at the core of him tim loves people and making connections, so of course doing the thing he wants to do is wrong

‘At some point, he made himself into someone who no one expects to be kind.’ tim has this thought once and then worries at it like a sore tooth because his default state is hopeless fury with himself, with everyone. i also think this demonstrates how new information/realisations often can’t help you out of a bad mental state on its own, because it’s all too easy to slot it into your existing thought patterns. pushing everyone away was making tim worse - he starts to feel like that was a mistake, but it just becomes more self-recrimination

forgiveness is one of those words that seems to encompass so many different concepts that i find it hard to know exactly what it’s meant by saying you forgive someone. specifying what’s meant by this little shard of maybe-forgiveness makes it mean more, at least to me

may i reiterate: :(

[writeofmind]

look at me

Genre: smut ;)

Pairing: Dom!Lisa x Reader 

Type: scenario 

Eyes up, baby. 

A/N: a quick smut for everyone bc that seems to be the only thing on my mind these days?? forgive me. lmfao.

-

“We don’t have much time,” you could feel Lisa’s smirk against your neck as she pushed you against her dressing room wall, “you’ll have to be fast.”

Lisa’s body covered yours completely, if not more, her nose brushing against the most sensitive parts of your neck, her thigh pushing between your legs to hold you up. Your hands rested on the wall and you panted as you looked over your shoulder, excited for what was to come.

A breathy hum came from your throat. “It’s you that has to be fast, love.”

Lisa let out an amused laugh as a smack rang out against your ass. You gasped, pressing yourself closer to the wall as if it could save you.

You felt Lisa’s breath on your ear, one hand snaking up your shirt and the other sneaking down past the waistband of your pants. Your breath hitched in your throat when her finger just barely skimmed past your nipple.

Situations like this weren’t rare at all. Sometimes you even wondered if quickies were Lisa’s preference, as she always found time to have her way with you before a show or program, and damn was she good at it.

“You’re already so eager, baby,” Lisa’s hand cupped your heat over your underwear, your knees buckling at the sensation. “I can feel you already.”

A whimper made its way out of your mouth.

Lisa’s long, slender fingers scraped up from your stomach to trace the outline of your jaw. With her other hand, she played at your clit, touching it ever so lightly, eliciting soft moans from you.

“Ugh, don’t tease me, Lisa,” you whined.

With a smirk on her face, Lisa pushed your flimsy underwear aside and began to play at your folds. The sounds coming from you was music to Lisa’s ears, but the growing need from between your legs was starting to drive you insane.

“Lisa—”

Your words were cut short and replaced by a needy moan when Lisa pressed her palm to your clit.

“Shhh,” Lisa cooed, “that was a pretty noise baby, but you need to be quiet.”

You bit your lip at the feel of Lisa being so close. Her palm was replaced with the tip of her finger quickly with her index and ring finger easily spreading you apart for more access— you groaned whenever she slid a finger partly into your entrance.

Lisa’s expertise with her hands never failed to surprise you. She always found a way to send you over the edge, but her absolute favorite thing to do was to keep you edging, always begging her for more.

A jolt was sent through your body when Lisa’s movements sped up. She circled the nub with her finger, in a rhythmic, stimulating motion— your hips twitched at the roughness, but you pushed back into her to feel more. Her other hand pinched and twisted at your nipple, flicking it as if it was her tongue, and your mind began to blur.

Aside from Lisa’s fingers, you rocked your hips against her thigh that you rested on, constantly whining at the amount of attention you were getting.

“Fuck,” you groaned, “I’m gonna—”

When Lisa leaned in to suck on the nape of your neck, you fell apart. With your head thrown onto her shoulder, you leaned completely into Lisa with an arched back, your moan muffled by your own hand. Your thighs squeezed Lisa’s hand between your thighs, her fingers still circling your clit to let you ride out the entirety of your orgasm. The sensation left your body feeling like dead-weight.

Your breaths were heavy when Lisa gently turned you around. Leaning your head against the wall, sweating, you smiled lazily at her.

“That was fast. You listen so well,” Lisa hummed as she played with the tips of your hair. You laughed and held her cheeks to kiss her nose.

“You flatter me. I suppose you want something in return, since we have extra time?”

A mischievous smirk came across Lisa’s face. Within her smile, she licked her teeth before taking you by your wrist and guiding you to her dressing room mirror, where she bent you over and stood behind you. Your hands immediately went to support yourself on the dresser, your hazy eyes looking into Lisa’s through the reflection. You saw the idea behind her smirk.

“Actually,” she leaned forward, molding against your body once again, “I want another taste of you.”

You let out a laugh before your breath hitched in your throat. Lisa wasted no time in slipping her hand beneath your pants again, easily gliding between your folds because of your previous session. Her fingers spread you apart once more, coating themselves in your arousal. You hissed when her fingers eased inside of you, the feeling of her slick fingers rubbing against the most sensitive parts of your walls.

Soon, her fingers began to pump inside you, faster and faster, building the tension that you so craved to break.

The desk beneath you creaked as you gripped the edges, your knuckles turning white as you bit your lip to stifle your moans. You felt the warm feeling return to your stomach in no time at all, and you gasped, letting your head fall to hang below your shoulders. Lisa kept a tight hold on you as she kneaded your breast in her other hand. The stimulation of both parts of your body made your mind go hazy, and you were unsure how long you’d be able to hold out.

“Hey,” Lisa’s stern voice made your body tense and your walls clench, “eyes up, baby.”

Lisa’s other hand came up to grab you by your throat. Her fingers wrapped delicately around the sides, pushing your head up so that you made eye contact with her in the mirror. Her eyes carried the intense look of lust, her lips turning up at the corners seeing you in such a state.

Your eyes were lidded with your mouth hanging open, drool forming at the edges of your lips. In a regular situation, you would be embarrassed beyond repair— right now, your humility was out the window. Looking at yourself in the mirror and back at the woman fucking you almost made you come on the spot.

Like throwing oil to the flame, Lisa let go of your throat to creep her fingers past your jawline to play against your lips. You greedily opened wide— wider, even— and stuck your tongue out to accept her invitation. Her sleek fingers pressed against your tongue, your lips closing around them and letting your tongue roam.

“You look so pretty like this, baby,” Lisa moaned against the back of your neck, “you take me so well.”

You couldn’t resist the loud whimper that she was able to pull from you. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the praise Lisa would give you, and she loved to give it back just as much.

Knowing that you two were against time, Lisa pushed her fingers in deep, curling against your walls. A gasp-turned-moan came from you as the orgasm ripped through your entire body— you shook in Lisa’s grasp before leaning against the mirror, limp. Sweat was formed at your forehead as you breathed with ragged breaths.

You heard a small chuckle come from Lisa before she leaned in to kiss your cheek. “You’re so good, baby.”

You sighed, laughing in return, and turned to kiss her back. You flinched as Lisa removed her hands from you, letting yourself relax now with your body feeling like lead.

“I think you should get to your stage, superstar.” You smiled at Lisa through the mirror, who was cleaning herself as well as coming over to you to do the same. She gave you a sweet smile (a huge contrast to the lustful eyes she held before) and wiped you down, giving you a soft kiss.

“I’ll see you in a bit, then.” Her hands laced themselves around your waist to turn you around.

“Yes, you will,” you leaned forward to brush noses with her, “and when you do, I hope you’re ready for your reward.”

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 4 (thoughts + spoilers)

idk even know how to even start this bc i feel like i’m just a big ball of emotions, and this ep was wild. so much happened. last ep was so wonderful and almost languid with how everything played out (esp since it focussed much more specifically on the shift in teh/oh-aew’s relationship). this ep had a bit more of everything, not just the two of them in their bubble anymore. societal forces at play, and hence much more angst. again, this isn’t a  proper analysis, it’s just me ranting and raving as usual as i semi-rewatch this again. this is very long, and there are a lot more things i want to think about in more detail at some point bc i’m mostly just skating over a lot of what happened but i gotta get these thoughts in my head out of me somehow. and i’m not sure if what i’m typing will even make sense bc i MYSELF can barely make sense of what i’m feeling but here i go anyway.

so we start off with the both of them kind of awkward after the night before which is fair enough considering what happened. actually when oh-aew’s habit started playing up again, i thought teh wasn’t going to scratch his back bc he was trying not to ~go there again after the night before, but he did and i was pleasantly surprised like oh...maybe things aren’t that bad?? (YET). also, i can imagine that it would have been reassuring for oh-aew too. like things have changed, but it’s not like teh has completely abandoned him. the touch itself is comforting, like when they were kids.

teh’s mum talking about how she wants both of her sons to bring their girlfriends around (and hounding him about bringing tarn around again) is giving me war flashbacks to my own asian relatives and i can feel the way that must crawl under his skin. I HATE when family members do that (and they always do). but for teh it must be esp hard bc he’s already constantly feeling like he’s vying for his mum’s attention over his brother, and now hoon’s bought back a girlfriend so it’s yet ANOTHER thing he feels like he has to compete with his brother over. in the back of his mind, he knows that he can’t give his mum what she wants if he’s with oh-aew (he can’t ‘win’ over hoon bc heteronormativity). teh is def prone to jealousy fairly easily, but i always feel like his emotions on that base level are also very easy to understand. i’ve been in positions like that before where i’ve felt like i’ve constantly been compared to someone else, and it makes you feel like shit. but also oh-aew having to sit through teh’s mum telling him to let her know if teh and tarn are dating?? ouch.

cue teh trying to avoid what’s going on with them and oh-aew being sad :((( they’re both in so much pain and i feel it and thank god i am no longer a teenager that’s all i can say about this.

the guitar in skyline instrumental is just...making me feel some kind of way. they have so many versions of this song and they always use the right version at the right time how is that.

so the tarn scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first thought: holy shit she looks so cute i love her crop top where did she get it i want one. second thought: but why did they make her wear a dark bra under such a light top?? i love that i was thinking this and then it all unravelled in front of me and like...the brilliance. the contrast between the scene in ep 2 (i think?) where teh accidentally peeks at her bra through the buttons of her shirt and gets noticeably flustered, and then this one where she literally wears the same bra under a light shirt ON PURPOSE to get his attention, but he doesn’t even notice?? the way she expects him to colour the hibiscus purple, but he colours it red for oh-aew instead?? it’s so incredibly telling of where his heart is at, and how his feelings have changed. anyway, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s just not all there with her anymore, and tarn isn’t stupid...she’s been picking up on the signals since the beginning (why was he so weirdly obsessed with beating oh-aew at the start? why was he willing to wake up at 4am for oh-aew but not for her? willing to tutor the rest of his friends but not spend time with her?). the way she sees him colouring the hibiscus red and it’s her wake up call, like wtf am i DOING bc of this guy????? i love how she acknowledges that her feelings for teh have made it so she’s solely focussed on him and that she hates the things it makes her do (like wearing the bra to gain his attention). ngl i was slightly worried with how they were going to use her character during these later eps with teh being so conflicted (since girlfriends in BLs are usually handled pretty poorly), but i appreciate that she’s still as fleshed out and full of feeling as she ever was. she’s so sweet, and i just wish she had better than this, but i’m glad she called teh out on it. i know he’s confused af rn, and tbh i don’t think he’s handled this as badly (atm at least) as i thought it could have gone, but at the same time, if he doesn’t decide and set his heart on what he really wants, he’s just going to end up hurting them all. LOVE that she basically tells him to get his shit together first before coming back to her. i like her so much. and that scene of teh just walking around and around at the back feeling conflicted while she drew? really reminds me of the squiggly line timeline(?) of how ep 4 was going to go that nadao released before this ep went live. also cmbyn vibes were real in that one.

the devastation in oh-aew’s voice when he asks teh to at least reply his messages ;;; it’s like teh wants to go back to just being friends and oh-aew has kind of accepted that at this point, but at the same time, teh’s not backing that up. he says he wants to be friends, but he doesn’t know how to act ‘normal’ about it anymore, so he pushes oh-aew away instead. good on oh-aew for not taking that shit and standing up for himself too. i absolutely cannot stand seeing oh-aew sad bc pp’s sad face/voice is so good it actually pains me.

notice how teh ALWAYS uses studies/tutoring as an excuse to get closer to oh-aew again...hmmm...does oh-aew see it for what that is now too? that “you’ve never understood me” hit me like a fucking train. to think that they were so attuned to one another last ep, but now teh’s too caught up in he’s own world to realise just how much he’s hurting oh-aew. thanks, i hate it.

i know that he’s needs to figure himself out more and i absolutely stand by the fact that he needs to do that without messing around with either oh-aew or tarn (and also that he’s using studies again to get into oh-aew’s good books instead of talking through feelings and all that), but the chinese idiom book that he made for oh-aew was actually SO CUTE and romantic. all this stuff he does for oh-aew to show that he clearly cares so much, yet he can never accept it enough to get the words out...

I SWEAR THEY PLAY THE INSTRUMENTAL SKYLINE JUST TO CHOKE ME UP. the darting around each other after the neck kiss COUPLED with the skyline instrumental?? it’s like a sad beach scene 2.0. teh making the first (intimate) move this time. every time he’s trying so hard to convince himself he’s not in love with this boy, and every time he keeps coming back. i always feel such a weird mix of happy and sad when i see them together bc i love them but i know teh in particular, is just not ready yet. like the hug scene made my heart leap, BUT they did it in hiding (under the staircase). all their big intimate scenes are in hiding and that just :(((

teh saying that he loves the seawater on his back bc it holds him up, and oh-aew saying but you have to hold your breath in that posture and it gets uncomfortable so he likes letting it go and just sinking sometimes instead (obv paraphrasing but you get the drift)?? THE WRITING IN THIS. it says so much without telling the audience directly...so poetic. everything about this show is so poetic. the way they sink into the ocean and into that space of oh-aew’s where you can just let yourself go without holding back, and then and only THEN does teh finally kiss oh-aew. and it’s beautiful, after holding back for so long, but it’s also painful bc he’s let go but only within this tiny pocket of space and time. in hiding again. that bird’s eye view shot where you can’t see them at all sealed it for me. like you want to be happy, but you can’t really bc you know that they’ve still got so much more to go...like when teh’s hand grazes oh-aew’s chest and you see oh-aew realise again...like that’s partly what stopped teh the first time in ep 3. when his hands stopped at oh-aew’s chest like it hit in for him that he was a boy. anyway, love that they gave us a skam kiss but i’m also very sad. on another note, how the hell did they hold their breath for that long?????

love that they gave us a further 2 more seconds of teh/oh-aew being cute (CONSTANTLY thinking about teh’s fingers dancing across oh-aew’s face and smushing his face in his hands...oh-aew holding the back of teh’s head...just a brief moment of carefreeness) before they went for the jugular. watching teh fight against himself in this way is what hurts. oh-aew begging him to just let go and accept what they are (the way he keeps going “what did i do wrong?? you feel it too!!”) but he’s so tortured he can’t do it. it’s downright fucking heartbreaking. the “one day i’ll stop feeling this way”...could have just stabbed oh-aew and it would have hurt less. all i know is i’m hurting for the both of them. the repression is real, and it just sucks. this whole thing fucking sucks for both of them (and tarn and bas too at that). idk it just gets me that oh-aew is coming out of this having been rejected once again bc teh isn’t ready yet. and i know this but it doesn’t make me any less upset. not at any of them bc it’s hard i know it’s hard...just at the situation. sometimes it feels like teh’s taking a step forward but then he takes two more back instead. the look on teh’s face when oh-aew was like let’s stop being friends...total devastation. i’m done. don’t want to think about it anymore.

i’m glad that oh-aew’s parents are so supportive of him though. i wasn’t sure how close they were based on their previous interaction but they really love him and i’m glad he has that stability to help him through this.

THE SCENE WITH OH-AEW AND THE BRA FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY. this show is always keeping me guessing, and again yet another thing that i wasn’t expecting but it was so visceral. the red of the bra in comparison to tarn’s bra with the purple hibiscus flowers on it...everything connects. oh-aew looking into the mirror with that bra on and thinking about how things would have been different if only :((( and then his breakdown when he realises that it’s not and that’s the reality of the situation. the feeling that gave me sits so deep within my chest i can’t even begin to carve it out.

teh masturbating when he sees that picture of oh-aew and to that picture of yongjian on his wall (idk why it only now just occurred to me that yongjian is always in red too)?? the self-hatred in this scene. the internalised homophobia. my heart feels so heavy.

he KEEPS reaching and it’s going nowhere bc it won’t ever be enough, and that’s not fair on himself and it’s not fair on tarn. like i understand what he’s going through, and i get that he’s extremely confused and needs the clarification, but when he asks tarn to tell her she loves him and he can’t do the same back for her...i just feel so, so, so fucking bad for tarn.

oh-aew hoping that the worksheets left for him were from teh (which would be very on brand of him), but then seeing bas :( maybe in another world, in another life (like teh and tarn)...but he’s such a sweetheart. bas, best boy ;;;

legit as soon as the gang came to see teh off to bangkok and talk to him about how oh-aew was doing terribly (and wasn’t planning on going to the admission exams) i knew where this was going to go. there’s been so much foreshadowing leading up to this, and this was also one of (if not my main theory) with how things were going to eventually play out. but tbh for some reason i thought it was going to play out later in ep 5...but like damn. damn. the way i understand but at the same time i kept going OH TEH :( throughout this. the utter STRESS this bit put me through. THE MISCOMMUNICATION.

anyway, teh’s love language is clearly acts of service. but it can really be to his detriment when he does things impulsively (albeit with care and good intentions), but he doesn’t use his words so things get lost in translation. sometimes actions just aren’t enough and you really do need words to communicate.

the confirmation scene was so tense...even now i’m just sitting here thinking about it and there’s a hole in my stomach at the thought of what teh must be going through and what he ends up doing. like when that last person on the list shows up and you KNOW it’s going to happen but at the same time it’s like a punch to the chest bc there’s just no doubt that teh’s going to turn it down for oh-aew...OF COURSE he would. oh-aew’s split moment of happiness before realising what teh’s done...the absolute dread i still have in me at the realisation of this.

the tension really kept increasing from here on in...teh coming home and his mum just being so fucking proud of him and telling everyone in the restaurant about how happy she is for him (all while teh is absolutely depleted), then tarn coming in and everything bubbling over when she realises what teh’s done too. realises that teh’s in love with oh-aew (smile is so great in this btw like WOW). the “you hurt me and i’m alright with that, teh, but right now you’re hurting yourself” broke my heart. absolutely love tarn as a character and only ever want the best for her.

when he tells his mum :((((((((((( and his mum just goes on about how hard he’s worked and how much he’s already sacrificed only for him to throw that away. he wanted her to be proud of him SO BAD, wanted to not be compared to his brother for once, only for him to give away his place bc he loves oh-aew more than he wants his mother’s praise. more than he wants to compete and ‘win’ against his brother. when she points to hoon and goes “why can’t you be more like him?” and he just loses it. like rubbing salt in the wound. i’m so glad hoon finally hugged him the way i’ve been wanting to this whole time. the banner congratulating him that teh’s mum made with all his materials from before :((( hoon giving him money for uni :((( you ever watch some things and feel like you’ll never be happy again...

okay the way that everything spiralled during the ig story fight?????? what gets me is that teh sacrificed his place thinking that oh-aew wasn’t going to sit the exam at all (he could have just talked to him and convinced him instead but ughhh i understand i get it). oh-aew thinks he did it bc teh didn’t believe he could get in himself (which of course then spurs him to give it up so he can get in through the exam instead). and when teh sees that, it’s like a smack in the face, like he went through all that only for oh-aew to reject it (him). it’s just layers upon layers of miscommunication and the anxiety of it all absolutely guts me. and then the anger mixing into devastation when he opens his book and sees how it’s all cut up. the remnants a reminder of everything he’s done for oh-aew. this boy that he adores but can’t accept he has feelings for. it’s just this mix of anger and sorrow and what have i fucking done?????? and how could he????? the cast were all fantastic but billkin really had to go above and beyond in this one and i could absolutely feel his pain throughout this.

TO PIGGY BACK ON THIS, like i said before, teh has always used studying/tutoring as a tool to get closer to oh-aew, but seeing that book with all the words gone was in part also him realising he doesn’t have that anymore. he can’t use that tool to get close to oh-aew anymore. the only way forward would be to actually get close to oh-aew without the pretences. and the saddest part of this all is that oh-aew doesn’t even NEED all of that (the tutoring, the book of idioms, the relinquishing of his uni spot)...the only thing he wants is for teh to ADMIT his feelings out loud. to admit that he feels the same way about oh-aew that oh-aew feels about him.

it’s funny bc in the last ep, the conversation that had me feeling the most nervous was when they’re talking at the cape, and oh-aew’s telling teh that he’s a rival and inspiration to him. i always KNEW this was going to come back to haunt them. like a constant circle. friends to rivals to friends to more than friends(?) to rivals. it’s a fine line. narratively, it always had to happen, and now they’re back to competing against one another yet again, and it’s going to be so tough bc they’ll have so much more competition on top of that as well.

next ep is going to be very, very hard on teh, but somehow after this ep, i just feel a lot more hopeful about it? i’m pretty convinced at this point that it won’t end in tragedy (which was the thing that i wanted least of all). of course i want both teh and oh-aew to end up together, but i can understand if they don’t. if this ends with them rekindling their friendship again, that’ll be enough for me. their relationship has been so turbulent and passionate that it needs some stability, and hopefully when teh’s in a better state of mind, when he’s at a place when he’s finally accepted all parts of himself, they’ll get there. so if that means it ends on them running to the cape together (even if they’re not technically together) fulfilling their promise to one another in the sunset, then that’s fine with me. i don’t mind an open ending if it makes sense in the context of the story, and i think something like that would. it’s like after such an angsty episode, you need a slight reprieve from it. i have no doubt in my mind that ep 5 will contain darkness, but i do think that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. so for once i feel truly hopeful about it.

i can’t believe we only have one more ep left to go...

[miyaniacs]

Exchange - Miya Atsumu & Osamu  SMAU

Karma pt. 3

PT 1 / PT 2  ; next 

smau masterlist ; masterlist

warnings: NSFW, thigh riding

a/n: yes repost bc Tumblr is bitchy agaainnnnn 

You told Bokuto that you and Osamu need to finish something for a class tomorrow. He wasn’t really buying it but oh well. How could you tell Osamu that you won’t come? Exactly you can not.

And that’s the reason why you’re standing in front of his apartment complex for the past 10 minutes. You feel bad for him. He was right with everything he said, you did used him only for comfort as soon as Atsumu ditched you. He has always been there for you, responding to your calls at 3am, coming over afterwards because he knew how miserable you felt, yet you took it for  granted and jumped on his brother the second the chance came.

The door opens.

“You’ll get sick if you keep on standing here.” Osamu says and holds the door open for you to get inside. The ride on the elevator was quiet and awkward, non of you saying a word.

He closes the door to his apartment, his back is turned towards you as you finally menage to get out the world. “I’m so sorry Osamu. I don’t know what to say. I’m an miserable person and I truly don’t deserve you. I shouldn’t taken your action for granted and I shouldn’t play you like that. But..But I did.. and here I am not able to apologise properly, since I’m too ashamed of my actions…. Just tell me if there’s a way I can make it up to you.. I - I don’t want to loose you.” You whisper the last sentence.

After some horrible long seconds he chuckles. “You can’t loose what you never had angel.”

Tears run down your face, as the meaning of his words reach you.

“I’m not talking about myself. I talk about you. I had to realise that, even if I wished you were mine with all my heart.. you never were. At least not all of you. There was still a part of you that belongs to my brother.” He turns around and takes a few steps now hovering over you. His pulls down the collar of the T-shirt your wearing, fingers running over the marks his brother left on you. Shivers run down your spine simply by his touch and the way he looks at you.

“But tonight angel, let me show you that this part could also belong to me.” He looks directly into your (eye colour) eyes. “Only if you’re okay with it. If not I’ll drive you back home. It’s your choice.”

You part your lips to answer but you can’t form any words, so you just nod. “So you want me to drive you back..” He mumbles. “No.. No, Osamu I want to stay with you. Please.” You plead.

His eyes turn back to you, the colour around his iris darkens. He smirks. “Then let’s get rid of this.” His hands grab the hem of Atsumu’s shirts and he rips it apart, leaving you in your bra. He sighs, partly because of you are finally not wearing this shirt anymore, making it look as if you are his borther’s, yet also because of what he sees now. Your chest, neck and collarbone are covered in marks. You hear him growl right before he presses you against his kitchen counter, which was right next to you. He attacks your skin with his lips, sucking and biting on it, making even darker marks, which cover up the ones his brother left, making only is visible now.

His hands rest on your waits, body pressing against yours, he’s not as musical as his brother, yet you can’t deny the fact that he’s ripped and way stronger than you. As if he wants to showcase exactly the last point, he easily lifts you up on the counter. Your arms wrap around his neck as his lips find yours in a passionated kiss. Your lips move in sync, his hands on your lower back, pulling you closer to him, while your legs wrap around his hips. Your chest presses against his clothed one with every heavy breath you take.

All of sudden he lets go of you. He walks over to his couch, which was a few meters away and sits down. “You want to know how you can make it up?” He asks and you nod your head, already pressing your thighs together by the sudden change of his aura. “Then get rid of those-“ his hand gestures over your body, addressing the clothes your still wearing, “and make me feel good angel.”

______________________________

Your lips wrap around his cock, tongue flat against it as you mob your head up and down. His head falls back against the couch, eyes closed, a deep moan escapes his beautiful lips. One of his hands move to your head, softly grabbing your hair, pushing you deeper down on him. You gag and the vibrations of this make him curse out in pleasure. “Fuck Angel, i missed your beautiful mouth and the magic you do with it.” He moans, opening his eyes to admire the view in front of him. You’re on your knees, your lips swollen and red around his cock, some tears run down your left cheek as you try to take him deeper in.  A few more minutes and he would cum, but he sees one of your hands wander down between your legs and he switches up his plan. He pushes your head off of him, you look up at him confused and slightly sad since you wanted him to cum by your actions. He pulls his jeans back on and pats his leg. “Sit down, angel” he smirks as you sees your eyes widen. “Don’t think I wont care about your … well being.”

Carefully you sit down on his thigh, the fabric of his jeans rubbing against your wet core. His hands grab your hips and he presses you against his flexed muscle. Your hands grab his shoulders as you start riding him. Leaning forward he starts nibbling on your jaw.

After he forces out a third orgasm, he flips you over and pulls down his pants again, you already took of his shirt during your first orgasm. He positions himself at your entrance. He looks at you asking for your permission in case you changed your mind. “Osa, just please fuck me already” You moan out annoyed. He chuckles and pushes himself into you still wet hole, which was still sore from your last night. You scream out in pleasure and pain as he buries himself deep inside of you. Without giving you some time to adjust to his large size, he already starts fucking you rough and fast. Your screams, which in the beginning are partly caused of pain, are now full of pleasure.

Your nails dig in his shoulders and captures your lips in a sloppy kiss. He puts one of your legs over his shoulder, deepening his thrusts.

“Scream my name angel, I want you to know that I can make you feel even better. I want to own every part of you.” He growls in your ear.

He flips you over, your pressed flat agains the couch. He pushes himself into you again, your eyes roll bak from the feeling of being full again. Skilfully he rolls his hips against you, being rewarded with your moans as he hits your sport ever time. He feel your walls tightening, your close to your fourth orgasm of the night, him being close to his first  one. “Come for me angel, show me how good I make you feel. Tell me that I’m making you feel better than him.” He groans, soon after you feel the knot in your stomach realising itself and you scream out Osamu’s name and gab his hand, that’s rested next to your shoulder. Osamu buries his face in your neck as he lets out a long and deep moan and slams into you a few more time riding out both of your orgasms.

______________________________

“Angel?” Your eyes flutter open. “I let in a bath for you, come here I carry you over.” He gently moves his hands under your body, lifting you up bridal style.

The hot water relaxes your sore muscles and you sigh. “Come in with me?” You look up to him. He’s about to answer as the two of you hear some banning on the door. “I’ll be back in a few.” He smiles and walked out of the bathroom.

His smile drops as soon as you’re out of sight. He opens the door and finds his brother looking at him furiously.

“What.” Osamu simply asks. Atsumu’s eyes wander over the marks on his brothers chest.  “Do you know where she is?” He asks yes showing worry, “ I kept on texting here but she didn’t responded, Bokuto just told me that she wanted to take walk after practice and.. Please I’m just worried that something happened to her.”

“Here. I wont let you play with her heart as you do with all the others.” Osamu throws the ripped shirt into his brothers face and closes the door.

Atsumu looks at the shirt and his hands start shaking.  

Was he too late?

Was it too late for him to let his walls down?

Did he lose you?

taglist ( open ) :  @kathya420 ,  @cuddlesslut , @tchalameme , @haikyuuopalite, @socks-for-a-slytherin , @monni-dionne , @luna084 , @captainofmanyfandoms @a-tol-baby , @ensworks@chaelysian @dumb-chaotic-bi-energy, @shhhlikeme, @bringmelily, @ynjimenez, @thecaptainship@90s-belladonna@laceymorganwrites@kristelmiyathot@anime-simp @lovedanii @nekoma-hoe , @suna-allie, @imuziawi, @oikawatooruisking, @chisaikuki@thirsthourdemon , @akakuzumo @writingfreakk @its-me-nico @daichiforsure@apollochjld , @kageyamasbraincell@isthistherealifeoristhisafantasy, @gaychemicalwater, @achly​ , @maii-flowers , @ryaaaax , @yammmers​

[seijurosempress]

@shoichee​ I hope this meets your expectations✨ (Bc I refuse to tolerate any more bullying today. Also- Matchup under the cut)

First, I just want to say- I’m sorry. (but not really). I know our love for Hayama runs deep but the moment you choose violence with him, that’s it for you. RIP. It was nice knowing you 😔 But, remember when we first spoke and I asked you if you shipped yourself with Imayoshi and you refused to answer my question? Well- [Insert ‘Surprise shawty’ tik tok audio]

Best Match: Imayoshi Shoichi

Your subconscious knew what it was doing when you picked out your URL. The moment you said you related to Dazai and then proceeded to talk about socioeconomic issues revolving around globalization while we simultaneously talked about dumb stuff I knew there were only a few guys that could handle your energy and Imayoshi hands down tops that list

Even though Hanamiya out of all people might say Imayoshi doesn’t have the best personality, I actually think you two can balance each other out and understand each other in a way other people may not be able to

Honestly, right off the bat, y’all will probably bond over some form of teasing. Whether it’s making some remark aimed directly at the other, or one of you takes a jab at someone else and the other happens to overhear, it will be the start of a beautiful relationship

Gemini and Leo’s have really good chemistry so it’s no surprise you’ll manage to get along, regardless of your- argumentative natures.

You two are like the two sides of the same coin. While he presents himself as a kind and easy going person, speaking politely to others- until he inevitable shows them his real personality- you, on the other hand, can come off a little cold and critical, scaring people off when you first meet them even though you’re genuinely kind and easy going once you start to talk to them

If you guys meet purely by chance, maybe you’re in the same class, you’re introduced because of a mutual friend, or because one of you overheard the other, the moment you hear how the other carries themselves in a conversation will automatically peek your interest. 

Have you ever seen that meme where they’re like “oh you wanna kiss me so bad”? yea, that’s you two. I can see you getting into the most amusing squabble, just trying to throw the other one off, Imayoshi smirking if and when one of his comments goes right over your head

You’re both pretty smart (I spent a solid hour trying to double check this and still failed but I’m like 80% sure his IQ is pretty up there) so I can see you two meeting because of that too

Scenario: 

Imayoshi is just minding his business, checking the updated class rankings posted in the hall across your classroom. Why? He doesn’t know, if he’s being honest. It’s not like anyone could ever surpass him, he’s been at the top of his class each time since his firs- What’s this? He got bumped down? Who the hell are you? Wait no, he knows who you are. He’s heard your name before countless times, mostly followed by your voice as it traveled throughout the hallways, your laugh bubbling out of your small frame soon after in reply to whichever friend had just made a funny remark. Funny. You didn’t seem all that smart at first glance, could he have actually... made a mistake? His gaze flickers to the other side of the hall where he immediately found you, eyes wide and a small smile adorning your features as you listened to your classmate speak. A low hum escapes him as he analyzes your appearance once more. He notices the way your makeup highlighted your already attractive features, the small accessories added to your uniform making you look put together and stylish. Maybe he had underestimated you, he though as he saw you take your turn to speak, your answer leaving your classmate open mouthed with a baffled expression. He felt the slight tug on his lips, the beginning of a small smirk forming on his face as you smiled widely at the response you had gotten.  However, the amusement only lasted a split second, his features falling in disbelief when you turned around, tripping over your own feet and falling face first into the open classroom door. “What are you staring at?” Someone, probably Sato, asks as he strolls up beside him. “Nothing” he sighs, adjusting his glasses on his face. Is it really nothing though? a small voice inside him asks just as a series of curse words and noises fall from your lips, eliciting his own to quirk up into an amused, lopsided smile. Even if it is “nothing” for now, don’t be surprised when both of you “coincidentally” find yourselves bumping into each other more often from now on as he tries to figure you out.

I can see him realizing he has feelings for you while you two are hanging out. Maybe you two will be studying after you asked him to tutor you in math since it’s his best subject, or well, attempting to study at least as you’re nearing half an hour of your 5 minute snack break. He’ll probably be doodling in his notebook while you scroll through Instagram, and it’s not until he looks up to see you so focused on whatever was on the other side of the screen, your fingers quickly tapping away as a smile pulled at your lips that he asks what you’re doing. Without a second thought, you absentmindedly tell him about whatever argument you’re getting into in the comments section under a random photo you came across before you’re back to focusing on the matter at hand. 

His whole trademark is that he’s good at analyzing people, and as a Gemini, he is not an exception to his own skills. He’ll suddenly come to the realization that, while he enjoys pushing people’s buttons, he enjoys the thought of you two being a team even more. While you can be loud and social, making and laughing at jokes, you also know when to get serious and get stuff done, something that that he would appreciate considering he likes respectful and considerate girls.

The problem now is- he may be aware of his feelings...but are you?

He’ll probably try out multiple ways to hint at his feelings towards you but they’ll just go right over your head. In your mind, you can’t see anyone having any romantic feelings towards you and sure he may be acting a little weird, but you’d probably just shrug it off as it being all in your imagination.

Meanwhile the whole time Imayoshi is just standing there like- Is she serious? No one can be this oblivious???? but yet  ✨here you are✨

Now it’s his turn to be frustrated by your conversations because you’re just not getting it? So he decides to try something more straight forward. Girls like pickup lines, right?

He could literally see the moment your brain stopped working. Your face flushed red as a nervous giggle bubbled out of you. All common sense left your body as you made finger guns at him, giving him a slight nod before turning around and walking quickly out the room

it would take you a few minutes to collect yourself, strolling back in the room 30 minutes later, leaning against the same spot you left him moments prior and giving him a pickup line of your own. *queue Imayoshi’s mischievous smirk* “Oh? Is that so?” (he’s such a little shit he’ll probably pretend like he didn’t say anything first to get back at you)

I can see this going back and forth for a while until he finally asks you out on a date, but this time he’ll make sure to do it in a way that will prevent you from escaping and leaving him alone and confused again

Your PDA is most likely kept to a minimum, partly because of your Venus in Virgo and partly because he doesn’t like spontaneity. Your outward relationship will consist of hand holding and pecks but that doesn’t mean your private life remains the same, just because you’re dating now doesn’t mean you’re suddenly immune to his habits or him to yours

You say you want to spend some quality time together? “How about a movie night?” he asks, his smile deceiving you long enough to trap you in his arms as a scary movie plays in his blacked out bedroom. “I don’t like scary movies” you whine, your body pressing into his and a pout pulling at your lips as he “innocently” chuckles, “Oh really? I must have forgotten”

You say you’re a bit cynical about relationships but I think it’s because your Neptune, Pluto and Lilith are ruled by air signs. This means you enjoy spontaneity and creativity in what you do and therefore always gravitate to doing things in which your outcome depends on yourself and not other people. Imayoshi is the kind of person that respects other people’s needs as we can see when he allows Aomine to skip practice if that’s what works for him. This will help you maintain a healthy balance in your relationship, allowing you to be able to feel more at ease and not trapped or like you have to be a certain way with one another

You decide to keep pursuing dancing? He’s proud of you, and will not hesitate to show off and boast about your achievements to the rest of the team

You had a rough week and you want to spend the whole day gaming with headphones on? It’s fine he’ll take the opportunity to relax and go fishing

On the other hand, you want to go shopping? Suddenly he’ll find himself walking hand in hand with you as you and his sister stop at every single store only to leave with more bags that you can carry. 

At first, you would insist you could both take care of yourselves at the mall, but he soon found out that you two should not be left alone. She might be his sister but she’s younger and impressionable and she looks up to you? And you can be a bit scatterbrained so you lose track of her time so you always end up bringing her back really late, along with an armful of shopping bags that he’ll only have to go back and return within the week because being hasty runs in his family and his sister didn’t pay much attention to how much money she was spending

Overall- I think that what really makes you a good match is your ability to communicate with one another. Both of you are pretty honest and straightforward (although your executions are vastly different) which will help you navigate through any obstacles in your relationship

You keep each other on your toes and bring fun into your relationship while also settling down, talking about serious stuff and getting genuine advice from one another when you need it the most. The balance you maintain allowing a stable foundation for the relationship to grow and blossom. He did something hasty? It’s okay, you know exactly what to do to fix it. Someone keeps hitting on you insistently? He’s already walked over to intimidate him to go away. You want to spend quality time together but he wants to go fishing? There you are by his side, scribbling in your notebook and reciting your poetry to him as he listens carefully with a small smile on his face that you’ll definitely not tease him about later. You need help with your math again? he’ll tutor you in exchange for you making him a bento with his favorite meal. Until he learns that you somehow burned half the rice and left the other half uncooked. Perfect balance of give and take. 

Bonus: Takao Kazunari

You are literally the girl version of Takao omg. (I literally JUST got your message about being the new Takao too smh I know I’m slow but let me finish this first)

You two are so alike and you would make the most chaotic duo but as much as I want to ship you two, I can just see you two being really good friends so I feel the need to include him in this

Midorima would be so done with your shit, he’d probably see you two together and immediately turn around and start walking the other way because he just KNOWS you’re bound to gang up and bully him

The first time you saw is lucky item you probably burst out laughing and thought he was joking until you saw his face flush red

After that, every time you ask about it he just grumbles out his answer, still salty about your initial reaction

Takao never fails to remind you either, trying to hold back his laugh whenever you try to make it up to Midorima but he ends up ignoring you, or you somehow just manage to make it worse

When it’s just you and Takao, you could be minding your business when suddenly one of you makes ONE singular little comment and that just sets off the other, adding onto it until both of you are crying with laughter

Honestly, the only time I can see you taking one another seriously is when you’re having discourse

He’s an optimistic person while you’re a realist which can set off some very interesting discussions between the two of you, your argumentative nature leading both of you to talk about anything and everything as you challenge the other’s ideologies

If you decide to try out a relationship, it’ll be filled with excitement and adrenaline, both of you needing very little persuasion to try out new things

You’ll be his partner in crime and he’ll be yours. You want to mess a bit with your younger neighbors? Why not? You want to go check out the new mall a few town’s over because they have a store you’ve been wanting to check out for months? He’s your man.

While the relationship is fun, you both can get a little ahead of yourselves, going with the flow and getting sucked into your own world; you’ll need someone to ground you

Usually, this role can be plaid by Midorima but it proves to be a bit problematic when he’s nowhere in sight

The amount of times you two have lost track of time or gotten caught up in something because you ran into some friends or even met new people and got lost in conversation, by this point Midorima has probably given up trying to keep track of your whereabouts when you’re together

I wouldn’t be surprised if you two ended up making your own language. He’s good with kids and bad at being quiet while you enjoy making new words and trying out sound effects which he would without a doubt find amusing. You’d probably go as far as to make children believe they’re actual words, could you imagine Midorima’s face when he goes over to Takao’s house and his younger sister starts talking to him in the made up words you taught her

Ultimately while your personalities are very alike, you tend to clash at the wrong points and it would take you working together to compromise to make a romantic relationship work

Both of you surround yourself by others, often finding yourself in the middle of everything, your personality constantly making other people gravitate towards you. This can prove conflicting when you’re together as now you’d have to learn how to share the spotlight, so to say

While you love fashion and makeup and shopping, the poor man just wants to enjoy his trading cards

Although you should use it to your advantage and make him drive you around in Princess Mia’s Midorima’s carriage.

Your might also find yourself more often than not at a crossroads, your realist point of view conflicting with his positivity which can lead to arguments between you two

Overall- a relationship with you would be exciting. There would never be a dull moment and you’d constantly encourage the other to have new experiences and make the most of your time. But moving into a more romantic territory would mean that you’d have to learn how to prioritize things in your life, knowing when to buckle down and get things down and how to successfully come to terms with and work out your differences. 

Sidenote: I meant to make these a little longer but my brain cell only has so much KNB knowledge stored in her small little filing cabinet that may or may not be a single folder covered in dust and stuffed in some corner

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Snowed In p6

This gave me such a hard time but I needed this conversation to happen for like 50% of the plot shit down the road, plz forgive me. 

Pairing: Geralt x fem!reader

Warnings: hella awkward convos, pining, self depreciating undertones?, talking about sex? idk yall im tryinna tag these with everything i can think of but if i miss something plz let me know!

Summary: (Last part was pure smut, but for those who skipped, it was basically them justifying a good roll in the hay bc it would help them sleep) The day after some completely pragmatic and not at all monumental sex they’re figuring out where to go from there. Boundaries and such?

__________

part 5 here!

You woke slowly, uncomfortably warm and… sticky? 

As reality came into focus you realized the stickiness was sweat from being plastered to Geralt's bare chest as you slept. You wriggled a little, loosening his hold on your hips so you could scoot back and see his face. He was still fast asleep, hair sticking to his stubble and mouth slightly open. He looked so much more innocent, almost juvenile when he slept. It made you want to protect him, as ridiculous as it sounded. 

Your hand reached up on its own to brush the strands of hair away from his face. When he didn't stir you trailed your first two fingers down his jawline, gently dragging the backs of your knuckles up over his cheekbones. You knew he could wake up at any moment, and it would be uncomfortable to explain why you were staring at him like he alone breathed life into you every day, but you continued tracing the peaks and contours of his face. 

If you let yourself think about it, he technically did. He got you up every morning, did anything you asked to help you, and everything you didn't have the stones to ask. This man made space for you like no one ever had and accepted the mess you brought with you, going so far as to help you sweep it into a manageable pile. 

You swallowed back the lump forming in your throat as you realized just how much of a mess you'd made for yourself this time. You'd fallen in love and set yourself up for nothing but pain.

The snow would melt, you two would join Jaskier on the other side of the pass, things would go back as they were, and you would fall asleep alone. 

You took a slow deep breath in and savored the peace for the last couple of moments you could before your heart would burst. Gently lifting Geralt's arm, you rolled up to sitting as slowly as possible, watching him the whole time. When he still didn't wake, you snatched up your clothes and tiptoed to the bathroom. 

He was still asleep after a towel bath and meticulously braiding your hair, softly snoring now. You couldn't help but feel a little proud of yourself for tiring him out so thoroughly.

Sitting down next to him you squeezed his shoulder, "Geralt. Hey, wake up." 

He grumbled something about it being early and patted the bed where he thought you were supposed to be before his eyes snapped open.

"There he is." You cooed, reluctantly pulling your hand away.

He squinted and furrowed his brow against the morning sun, pushing himself up on one elbow, "You're up. And dressed." 

Now, you knew you were manufacturing the disappointment in his words, but it still hit you just as hard. You sprang to your feet, kicking the contents of your bag back toward the corner with a little more vigor than necessary, "Woke up hungry. C'mon, get up." 

"Alright, alright." He grumbled, rolling over and reaching for his neatly packed bag.

Breakfast was uncomfortable, to say the least. 

Geralt didn't lean his knee against yours and you weren't sure if you missed it or were relieved he spared you the adrenaline rush. Though when he brushed against your arm reaching for the salt and you nearly jumped out of your skin. The neighbors sat across the table from you and one of them winked at you, almost making you choke on your oats. As soon as Geralt was done with breakfast you cleared both your plates and made a beeline for the door. 

You lead the way out to the barn, excited to see the caverns in the snow your fight had left the week before were still uncovered by fresh snow. You fumbled with the latch, not entirely paying attention, so Geralt reached over your shoulder and flicked it open himself. He was so close you felt his breath on your neck and the heat coming off of his chest. Everything in you wanted to lean back into him, but that might be breaking a rule and these rules were becoming ever more nuanced. 

You went about your usual business feeding and examining the horses and were about to leave, but Beau looked so sad and bored. Poor guy hadn't gotten more than a walk up and down the breezeway in a month and you could see the pent up energy in his eyes. You sighed and grabbed hold of his mane, swinging up onto his back and laying back over his haunches while he ate. This felt like a good place to slow down and examine your options with this whole "friends" business. 

"Y/N?" 

Or it would have been. 

"Stall." You answered, not sitting up even when you heard him slide the door open. 

"What're you doing up there?" Geralt's voice had that same confusing, unidentifiable tone he'd used when he'd left you in the bath. 

"He looked so lonely. You don't just spend time with Roach?" You spared him a glance, noting how casually he leaned against the door, arms crossed so that his collar slipped down to show the marks from your nails digging into his skin.

He shrugged, "She gets tired of me." 

Beau walked across the stall to sniff Geralt’s pockets and nudge his hand when he smelled what he was after. You shifted to stay balanced on his back, absolutely no intention of coming down any time soon.

The silence between you that crept on and on was in no way comfortable. You fidgeted while Geralt pet Beau, giving him a treat here and there when he smiled for him. Normally you’d be amused, now you were just angry at yourself.

You swung a leg over Beau’s withers, spinning to sit sideways facing Geralt, “You’re rather quiet.”

“I’m always quiet.”

You shook your head, frantically searching for the words you needed, testing the waters,“I ah… I had a good time last night.”

He quickly glanced at you before focusing back on Beau trying to eat his gloves, “Mhmm... Haven’t slept that well in months.”

There was a beat where you debated leaving it there, but you were never one to quit while you were ahead, “This doesn’t have to be weird, does it? I don’t want things getting tense.”

Geralt finally locked eyes with you, searching your face for something, “No… if you’re uncomfortable-”

“Which I’m not.” You interrupted.

He tilted his head, a softness taking over his face that you rarely saw, “You’re my best friend. As long as you’re okay with it, I am too. It’s just sex, after all.”

You nodded, “Just sex. Yeah. We- heh, we didn't even kiss...”

“Exactly. What are friends for?” Geralt playfully swatted at your boot, giving you a grin. 

What are friends for…

You plastered a smile on your face, changing the subject before the emotions bubbling in your chest boiled over, “Jaskier is gonna kill you when I tell him you said I’m your best friend.”

He moved to stand in front of you, crossing his forearms and resting them on your knees. His touch was calming, grounding you back into reality as he usually did.

He squinted up at you, “That’s if you tell him.”

You patted his hand, “Oh, I’m definitely telling him.” you teased. 

He gripped your wrist and quickly spun to face away from you, pulling you forward and off Beau's back. You squeaked and gripped onto his shoulders when you landed on him. He laughed, giving a little jump to get you higher on his hips and get a hold of your knees. A giggle slipped from your lips, partly due to surprise, but partly because his grip on your knees tickled.

"I'll tell him it was you who dropped the sword on his lute strings." Geralt made his threat halfheartedly, carrying you out of the barn only to have you steer him back to grab your gloves that you'd left on the hay. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, taking your opportunity to hold him close to you as possible, resting your chin on his shoulder. His warmth and his scent lulled you into a state of content as he took his time meandering back to the inn. Just before he reached the door you noticed a fresh snowflake on your elbow. 

"Motherfucker." You shouted, "It's snowing again." 

"Shit! Y/N, you're right in my ear." He tried to turn to look at you but you tucked your head against his neck, hiding almost like a child. 

"Sorry. I forgot…" you whispered, more out of embarrassment than anything.

He hummed, the vibrations permeating your whole body from where you were perched as he yanked the door open and stomped inside. You wiggled, communicating you could once again walk just like a toddler, but he just hoisted you up higher and trudged up the stairs. You bit your lip, hiding a smile on the basic principle of not wanting to feel it, not necessarily because anyone important could see you. 

When you reached your room Geralt rather unceremoniously collapsed onto the bed, sending the two of you bouncing for a bit before he came to rest with his shoulders on your hips. 

"Tired?" You asked, fighting the urge to rake your fingers through his hair.

"Exhausted." He made no effort to get up but rested his hands underneath the outsides of your knees. 

You sighed in agreement and rested your hands on his shoulders, "Post breakfast nap sounds nice."

I can handle this. I know the boundaries. Just don't kiss him. That should be easy enough ...

__________

part 7 here!

gotta edit bc im a scatterbrain and forgot to tag! If you want to be tagged plz let me know! 

@ab-haya @fire-in-her-veinz @cavillhavoc

[diversetolkien]

Hi, I just want to say that this blog is absolutely phenomenal. I recently discovered it and I am so impressed. You put into words what I always felt was "off" about the Silmarillion (i'm glad it wasn't just me who noticed!), and your post about Feanor definitely got me to think as well. I'm not really sure how I feel on that one - I think I need to reread the text, it's been a while. But your post on Lothlorien, Galadriel especially as the White Woman trope, the black/white (1/3)

the black/white language dichotomy, and just the fact that the text is partly just the Noldor colonizing Middle Earth - I didn't know how to put it in words, and you did, and it was wonderful. Your points re: Galadriel definitely got me to think as well, as I didn't notice specifically anything special re: Galadriel, but I completely agree with you there. More people should definitely pay attention to what you're saying - the reality is that the Silmarillion is an inherently colonialist (2/3)

and imperialist text that is told from the pov of the colonizer (noldor), and even if it's fiction&we assume that with elves these elements don't exist (altho i disagree), the fact is that 1st&foremost the text was created and consumed in our world, with our implications and connotations, & we have to treat it as such. I truly love these pointy eared dramamonsters, but it's important to be critical of the literature we consume too. Keep up the great work, and I'm looking forward to other posts!

just to add: it would also be interesting to see the silmarilion from the silvan & esp avari pov. fading (& leaving middle earth to avoid it) seems to be negative in the context of the noldor bc it means they don't have power anymore & their power structure starts to dissolve. Could the end of the elves be read w/parallels to decolonialism? Maybe for the silvan elves fading isn't a bad thing.

 Hey there! Feel free to ask me for any points on clarification, especially on the feanor post. There’s a lot of push back for conversations regarding discussing the deep colonialist themes in Tolkien’s work, and who exemplifies them the most. It’s not hard to believe Galadriel does so considering she was Tolkien’s favorite. And again, Galadriel’s narrative is not the only colonialist one, just one of the biggest and most prominent.

And in general, the idea that the Silmarillion is inherently colonist is constantly rejected, and I just can’t understand why? Tolkien grew up in a society where that was acceptable, and our cultural and personal views will always influence our writings. There are even colonialist vibes in hobbit communities.

And I too would like to see a different perspective. What perspective we do get from them is told by Noldor, and unfortunately incredibly demonized (ie: The Silvan elves). And I do feel like there are some strong decolonization vibes, especially with Loth Lorien eventually beign handed back to the Silvan elvesi in Mirkwood when the ring is removed from them, and when their realm fades.

For the first time in ages they aren’t relying on Noldor technology to sustain their realm, they are relying on reach other. I think fading for the Silvan and fading for the Noldor are two different things!

Thanks for the asks!