#like ok death is a part of life and every organism that kills to eat will eventually be killed and eaten

[shmreduplication]

As someone who likes to cook and eat and think about how we are all connected: i really like dungeon meshi

As a biologist: there's not enough discussion about shit and piss in dungeon meshi

[teabookgremlin]

well pals here we are, the final eat her ear friday of yellowjackets season 2. this post is gonna be a little different than my usual recaps as i’ll focus on more just kinda discussing what i liked, what i didn’t like, what i think might happen next, instead of the more stream of conscious style deal i usually do and it’ll be organized as all teen timeline thoughts followed by all adult timeline thoughts. anyway i have loved yellowjackets blogging with you all this season and cannot wait to continue being insane about this show with all the cool people on this webbed site. spoilers below cut

teen timeline episode thoughts:

- i gotta say teen timeline was top tier this week. i loved every second of the wilderness time from the second it begun. 

-just everything about how javi was handled was great, seeing travis’s grief at the start, how shauna butchered javi, van and travis’s talk, travis taking a bite out of javi’s heart, it all just went hard. i wonder if the bite of the raw heart will become a part of the hunt ritual. like the person closest to the hunted or perhaps the person who killed them bites into the heart before cooking it bc i’d fuck with that

- fucking coach man. he really should’ve died this season. he is the only man on this show i truly like but they had to ruin that by just drawing out his life. seriously what was the point of all his paul stuff and his suicide attempt and his clear hopelessness if he wasn’t gonna die. i do think that the girls are gonna hunt him down in s3, like they’ll track him to the cave and kill and eat him then take the cave as their’s. fingers crossed. sorry coach my guy i liked you but you need to die eventually. also fucker burnt down the cabin. what the fuck dude i know you think the girls are monsters but like you’re gonna try to kill them all for it?

- NAT ANTLER QUEEN ok i fucking loved this. lottie no longer being able to hear the wilderness. her passing on the role she never even wanted. nat always having been it’s favorite. nat’s horror turning into joy/acceptance. all the ways the girls pledged their loyalty to her. loved loved loved it cannot wait to see where it goes from here. 

next up adult timeline episode thoughts:

- first of all too much of the men. like seriously walter swooping in and saving the day with his plan to frame kevyn for all the adam shit was just so meh. it would’ve been so much better if walter hadn’t been introduced and misty had been the one to pull that kinda shit. also pissed that creep cop lives to see another day get in losers we’re climbing through our computers to kill creep cop ourselves.

- i did really enjoy the recreating of the ritual scene, i thought it was very nicely done and shauna drawing the queen is not what i expected and i did like callie coming in to save her. also how during the ritual there were flashes to their teen selves i ate that shit up.

- ok now the main thing is obviously nat. her death was definitely frustrating. i think it could’ve worked had it happened later in the series or if it had been better set up just how it happened really fell flat. it does definitely seem like juliette wanted out so the writers had to change their plans. just nat’s story does not feel entirely complete and how it all works out from here really depends on how they play things going forward. i do think that there is a way for this to work plot wise i am just definitely concerned.

- so interested by our girl van. how she kinda lights up when lottie says that it worked. i think either van is cured or thinks she is and that that is gonna bring her back to her faith in the wilderness despite how she clearly wanted to leave it behind. so so so excited to see where her story goes especially alongside tai and lottie, there is just so much potential here and i hope they don’t fuck it up.

- finally it really felt like they were trying to hard to make a nice neat tidy ending for the adult timeline. like they wanted to wrap up as many plot points as possible which really doesn’t make sense given the amount of show that is supposedly planned. i’m definitely concerned that they’re gonna introduce some weird out of no where plot lines in the adult timeline to refill the empty space left by what was wrapped up here.

[the-voice-of-night-vale]

ok so basically, judging by everything i’ve learned in therapy and in a medical anthropology class i took last year, i know folks who struggle with Brain Things tend to feel helpless and hopeless especially if you’ve got comorbidities

but here’s the thing: your brain controls your flesh body.

sure, praying and faith doesn’t cure cancer, but it can increase the chances of beating it and your life expectancy! 

if your brain has been wired to believe certain things wholeheartedly will kill you (such as someone pointing their finger at you and ordering you to die or the evil eye or things like that) your brain can force your body to react (warning: this link leads to the wikipedia article called “Voodoo Death” also known as psychosomatic death or magic death syndrome. I strongly disagree with the use of “voodoo” to describe this phenomenon.)

(it should be noted that this type of thing isn’t guaranteed, it’s messy just like anything to do with the human brain. it should also be noted that i’m not a psychiatrist, nor an anthropologist, nor a specialist; i’m just an autistic with a special interest and lessons from therapy)

this half-control that your brain has over your body is part of why we use cognitive behavioral therapy to help control anxiety, depression, etc. and also why cbt doesn’t work for every mental illness and disorder. if you keep telling yourself (or if others keep telling you) that you’re worthless, stupid, ugly, etc., eventually your brain will believe it and you’ll develop problems associated with those feelings. most people know that repeated exposure to negativity from outside sources will fuck you up, but the same happens from inside out!

however, you can also turn this around by using your brain’s control over your body and mind to help combat anything from mental illness to physical illness (not cure, in most cases, i want to be very clear; it’s just a habit you can keep up to try and help. this is self-care, not some kind of essential-oil-cures-polio bullshit. more like “peppermint tea soothes a sore throat” kind of treatment)

some suggestions:

if you can, have a regular, healthy sleep schedule. it’s pretty common knowledge that sleep deprivation can make you feel pretty shitty, but it can also exacerbate symptoms of things like depression, BPD, etc. because your brain is too worn out to work properly, so the fucky things going on can’t be fought as easily. same reason you sleep a lot when you’re sick; your body needs energy

if you can, go on a walk! not only is exercise good for you, body and mind, sunlight contains Vitamin D which helps to improve mental health (this is why some people with seasonal depression take Vitamin D tablets), plus fresh air is good. if you can’t go on a walk, try sitting by an open window, or get a sunlamp! open the blinds and windows while you clean or work!

Clean your room, organize your closet/desk/whatever, throw out old stuff, wash your sheets and pajamas. I know doing things like this is really hard when you have depression or ADHD or anything else (and there’s lots of things that make it hard or nearly impossible to do these things like chronic pain and chronic fatigue, hence why these things are only suggestions, they’re not gonna be possible or work for everyone!) Having a fresh, clean space or even just pajamas that aren’t warm from your body can help you overcome executive dysfunction, and can generally improve your mood. (John mulaney voice: YOU GOTTA THROW URSELF OFF UR RHYTHM) Plus, the cleaner your space is, the easier to find things, and the easier it is to keep it clean!

Drink water regularly! I know lots of folks (like my partner) hate the taste of water and would rather drink soda or juice or coffee, but my suggestion is to get water flavorings. Try and go for ones that don’t have a lot of sweeteners or other stuff in them, because then what’s the point of not drinking juice? If water isn’t a thing you can do (for sensory reasons or anything) try eating things that contain a lot of water like lettuce or watermelon!

Light candles, rearrange a room, put up a poster, or generally do anything to change your environment. For the same reason cleaning your room is helpful, changing your environment allows you to exhibit some control, which helps your brain stop feeling restless and helpless. A lot of the time (at least for me) that burst of energy helps me get over executive dysfunction!

Change the script and the way you talk to yourself and others. It’s hard to immediately be kind to yourself, so try by just being neutral or objective. Write out a list of your strengths and weaknesses, write out things you’re good at. When you look at yourself in the mirror, repeat things that you know to be good about yourself. You can even reach out to others and ask “what are my strengths? why do you like me?” Keep a journal, a mood tracker, a habit tracker -- anything that can help you get your thoughts and feelings out on paper. This is also a good way to battle long-term depression/memory loss/dissociation/etc., because it gives you something to look back on to prove that you’re a person.

Obligatory “create! do a hobby!” bullet point. do something silly, sing a song in the shower, allow yourself to enjoy being alive, even if all you can manage is three minutes. put a smile on your face and indulge!

Make sure you’re eating regularly! just like hydration and sleep, your body needs those calories to do Body Things

Acknowledge and appease your hierarchy of needs.   Here’s a good post on the different “brains” you can check off to try and treat why you feel bad.

Just remember, mind is power! all these things can help, but also it’s good to acknowledge that sometimes there are things outside of your control causing you issues, and beyond that -- some people’s brains are just Like That, so no matter what you do and what changes, you’ll feel varying amounts of shit (like me!) just be kind to yourself, and remember that it’s worth a try, and you are worth a try. i love you!

tl;dr: your brain can control your body; have a good sleep schedule, experience sunlight, clean your space, drink water, exert control over your environment, change how you treat yourself, indulge in your hobbies and your passions, eat regularly, appease your hierarchy of needs and your lizard brain. You’re worth it!

[girl-in-the-tower]

SWITCHY EMOJI I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND FOR AGATHA, VITA, DIANA, THEO AND KORE. PLEASE.

OK, SO LET ME YELL ABOUT THE WITCH AND THE BEAST AU THAT LIVES RENT FREE IN MY HEAD.

Thank you for the ask!! ❤

Vita is basically Phanora Kristoffel, lol.

Joking, kinda. Basically to take things in order, I imagine Diana, Agatha and Vita as one team, and Theo and Kore as their own team within the Order of Magical Resonance which is a group by magic, for magic and of magic. They deal with all sort of odds jobs that involve the misuse of magic, except that they are by no means a legal organization. Their members are without a doubt all rather odd, but they get the job done at least.

TW: dark themes under the cut

Vita Dies

A powerful necromancer, who also happens to be a witch. She’s of an old family that specializes in this craft. A beautiful but deadly woman who practices the art legally and ethically wherever it is permitted. Because witches in TW&TB live longer than normal humans nobody is sure for how long she has been alive. She deeply enjoys being cryptic and teasing towards mortals and mages alike, though for the most part seems to be aligned with the interests of the Order.

Her connection with the Order is shrouded in mystery, though many speculate it has to do with another young mage who joined with her at the time. The boy looks ghoulish and sinister, and seems to be suffering from the effects of a Witch Curse being placed on him. Vita denies being the witch in question. However she does seem to be responsible for the young Undead that follows the ghoulish boy around. It seems that the two were brothers once, but upon his death the older brother asked Vita to revive his by using necromancy. Since the law permits first-grade relatives to make such decisions she agreed to it, because she was impressed by his insistence even after she informed him of the consequences. 

She runs her Undead on auto so they have full consciousness and can make their own decisions. She makes sure to maintain them regularly so their bodies don’t decay or their souls lose their humanity. They are practically indistinguishable from regular humans, which is due thanks to her status as a witch imbuing her with more magic than a regular mage would possess. 

Her mage makes her extremely strong, but she prefers to leave the fighting to her servants. Still if need be, the cursed runes will appear on her body like in the case of any witch and she will not hold back at all. A witch’s power is fearsome after all so she usually uses it only if her servants find themselves overwhelmed.

She also has ties to another young mage whose fiancee she revived after the woman was killed due to a magical beast going haywire. The two have a very tense relationship and rarely come into contact, the only connection between them being the young woman who acts as Vita’s Undead servant.

In this AU she would most likely go by her full name instead, so everybody would call her Iovita.

She is currently in a relationship with the young ghoulish boy who asked to revive his younger brother, and who also happens to be her apprentice. Because a witch’s kiss can temporarily dispel the curse, her lover switches between his human form and his cursed form. She says she prefers his cursed form, because it is more “bewitching”. 

She is usually called in for missions involving necromancy or strong magical opponents. 

She avoids contact with the Paladin Corps since they are the natural enemies of witches.

This is what she would wear in this AU:

Agatha Voisin

A young woman who asked to be the witch Iovita’s apprentice. She is a normal mage in most aspects with a penchant for dangerous alchemical potions and poisons. Very little is known about her life prior to meeting her Mistress but according to her, she’s an orphan whose family was murdered by a witch, so she sought to apprentice under one in order to learn how to kill them. 

She’s rather quiet and contemplative, and her demeanour towards others is very much influenced by Iovita’s own attitude. Though, while she tried being mysterious and confident she comes off as more awkward and aggressive. She especially does not like her fellow apprentice and the witch’s lover, though seems to be get on well with her Undead. 

While, she does not seem to have any talent at necromancy she is quite good at corpse maintenance, being able to stitch together most parts and organs with relative ease. She finds this sort of job fulfilling since she can see to he duties in peace.

She did not plan on getting attached to Iovita in the slightest, but since the witch has always looked after her as her own, she couldn’t help but become soft. She claimed that she took Agatha in because her logic of seeking out a witch master in order to kill another witch amused her greatly, so she agreed to teach the young girl whatever she can learn. That happened when Agatha was barely 14 years old so ever since then she’s considered Iovita her family.

Her magic is quite strong, though she’s terrible at close quarters combat preferring to cast spells from a distance. She usually likes it when they are given jobs that require sleath since she’s good at that.

The witch she’s hunting is a powerful one, who is said to kidnap people and cook them in her cauldron before eating them bones and all. She claims that she witness her family being devoured, before the witch released her saying that “there still needs for time to pass before the meat is tender enough.” Agatha thinks this means that the witch expects her to return and that’s when she’ll finish her off. 

Before meeting Iovita she lived together with another mage who was able to commune with the spirits of the dead. She still calls on him since he’s a very crafty man with many connections who can procure her all sort of objects.

This is what she would wear in this AU:

Diana Arrow

A young Undead under the control of Iovita. She used to be a common mage who was involved in the care and conservation of magical beasts, before one of them went haywire and killed her. Though she was able to receive some care at the hospital her wounds were too severe and she died of blood loss and complications, but not before making a deal with a witch who agreed to bring her back as an Undead. The reason behind her choice, despite knowing that souls resurrected cannot be reborn, is that she wanted to see her fiance one last time and apologize to him. 

She’s a quiet woman and loyal to her witch, carrying out her orders to the letter without a single complaint. Because she’s put on auto she was able to retain her consciousness and original personality, so her connection to her lover was not severed. Like most witch’s Undead she is very capable and skilled and takes care of the physical stuff her Mistress cannot be asked to do. 

Her weapon of choice is a pair of magically infused brass knuckles that have been gifted to her by her Mistress. She’s become rather proficient at handling them due to training sessions with her Mistress’ other Undead servant. 

Her fiance, a fellow mage like her, was horrified to see her brought back from the dead at the cost of her soul entering the Void. It took a long while for them to patch things up again, and it mostly worked because he was also glad to see her return back to him, though he never wants to admit to this since it would mean putting his own selfishness above her soul.

When she’s not away on missions at her witch’s request she looks after magical beasts or spends time with her fiance. He’s a shrewd man who is trying to convince her to abandon Iovita since he believes nothing good can come from associating with her. He’s currently in the possession of a grimoire that offers him witch-like powers in exchange for killing the person dearest to him, so Diana sacrifices herself every time so he can pay the price. Because being a witch’s Undead makes her impervious to death, she resurrects almost immediately every time, though it doesn’t make it easier on him. 

Since she’s a good fighter, she’s able to depose of most enemies before Iovita has to interfere. With beasts she tries to knock them out instead of killing them since she cares deeply for their well-being. 

She hides the fact that she’s an Undead from most people, since few places consider it a legal practice. Though her lover has once proposed that they be Undead together, she rejected the idea. She wants him to be reincarnated and live a peacefully life even if that means they’ll never be able to meet again.

This is what she would wear in this AU:

Theo Yule

A seasoned mage and a long time member of the Order. He joined them in his youth after he ran away from home due to a falling out with his family. He is not a very social man, preferring to keep to his own tasks and matters. It makes him somewhat at odds with the rest of the Order, but since his work has always been exemplary, few find it possible to complain.

He mostly does solo work, handling cases that involve the mishandling of magical artifacts like grimoires and such. As an expert in the field his advice is always sought before people proceed with their investigation. He owns several of them as well, and carries a suitcase around with him when on jobs that contain most of the tools he requires.

He’s very much like a stereotypical noir cop with his alcohol abuse and smoking habit and rudeness, treating others very contemptuously whenever he speaks to them. He seems to have a very particular dislike for rich people and those well off. 

Because of his quite nature and tall stature he intimidates a lot of people. 

In this version he would only go by Theo, forgoing his last name entirely.

He’s been tasked by the Order to look after a young girl with an unusual situation which requires constant monitorization. He was against the idea at first but with time he grew somewhat fond of her. They have become something of a family and though she assists him on his cases he always makes sure to shield her from actual danger and gore. He would prefer it if she lived a normal life, far away from this chaos but given he peculiar condition he knows it’s impossible.

His attachment to the girl has started to make the Order wonder if it came down to it he’d abandon his beliefs and ideals to stand by her side, but even Theo isn’t sure of the truth behind this notion. Though deep down he feels like he would.

This is what he would wear in this AU:

Kore Hightower

A young girl of indeterminate origins who also happens to be a vessel for a witch. Kore can’t remember anything about her life before she was transformed into a human host for and by the creature. According to several sources she might have been part of magical ritual which involved human sacrifice along with the rest of the family, though it is unknown just to what end. She’s been a host for around a year or two it had been estimated, during which she was known as the “Strangling Witch” for the way she would choose to kill her victims. 

She was freed from that control by the Order who unable to extract the essence of the creature from her, decided to keep her under surveillance and make use of her abilities instead. Though the creature has been sealed inside, she still can access some modicum of its power making her a formidable foe to non-witches.

She’s a novice in magic and it does not come easily to her so her guardian decided to teach her some basic spells and self-defense techniques in case of emergencies. She assists him on his cases partly because she wants to feel useful, partly because she wants to atone for her actions while under possession.

Though she can’t remember the period she was under the creature’s control she still feels imense guilt for her actions. Every year she goes to the cemetery where the victims are buried to pay her respects and ask for forgiveness. Because nobody but the Order knows who was behind the killings, people have no idea who she really is and merely see her as a pious girl. She avoids talking with the locals there out of guilt.

During her time as the Strangling Witch she killed around 38 people, though the number is thought to be likely much higher.

Her honest and kind nature makes her get along quite easily with others, though she has trouble getting close to them, since she feels like she doesn’t deserve to be happy or loved after all that she’s done. She’s recently befriended a young and kindhearted man whose rich family hired her guardian to take care of some business relating to magic. The two became fast friends and even perhaps more, but Kore is hesitant to explore that possibility since she doesn’t know if the creature can or cannot take control of her again. The two do keep in contact through phone though and even go on dates together occasionally but have yet to define just what exactly sort of relationship they have.  

She gets along really well with the Undead under the employ of a fellow Order member, though she seems unaware of their true nature. 

This is what she would wear in this AU:

[transhitman]

Nobody asked but I wanna talk about my OC universe. Specifically the biology of the human species because I think it’s cool as fuck. Basically, homo sapiens is extinct after nuclear winter and all the fantasy races are the different evolutions of the human species with adaptations that allowed them to survive. There are 6 total and they’re all sort of like combinations of two or more more traditional fantasy races so yeah.

H. magus -- HUMANS -- Only named as such because they’re the only ones that don’t have a major outward change in physiology. They look pretty much the same but are a little bit taller on average and can have gold or purple eyes. They survived via the magic of invention and Literal Magic, and mostly stayed in one spot. They sat on resources and created pretty capitalist-leaning societies, and thus didn’t have to undergo any major changes. However, there are still enough small differences to qualify them as a different species than H. sapiens, namely that their bodies conduct magic really REALLY well.

H. bucerus -- OGRES -- Sort of like a mix between tieflings and orcs. They’re descendants of the people who were ostracized from the Human communities for whatever reason, and had to deal with radiation, harsh weather, and GIANT FREAKING SHADOW MOSTERS. Since the Human ancestors were sitting on all the resources, the proto-Ogres were forced to become nomadic. In order to survive the Badlands, their muscles became much more dense, granting them super strength. However, they also weigh twice as much as a Human of the same volume and require twice as much food. They also developed methods of dealing with cancer caused by the radiation of the world. They basically integrate tumors into their bodies as horns. They have a special type of white blood cell that specifically targets cancerous growths and forces them to the surface of the skin, where they can be removed. They also have tails, which suit their environment. There are different variants depending on the global region they’re from, each with different horn and tail types. Probably the sexiest species. They’re tall ^__^ But their size is limited to like 7ft since being too big and dense would be DISASTEROUS in the food-scarce Badlands.

H. gurges -- DWARVES -- Ok so they’re honestly more mermaid-like, but I’m trying to fit a theme with the names here. They are short, though. And most of them live in cities that are below the surface, just not a solid surface. The Dwarves are descendants of the seafaring survivors of the Pacific Ocean. There is actually a wide variety that could count as dozens and dozens of separate species, but for function’s sake they’re all under the same category. They have convergently evolved with different types of fish, getting less and less human-looking the deeper in the ocean they live. On the surface, they’re just people with fluorescent skin tones. In the Abyss, they’re barely even human. They are able to withstand enormous pressure, and notably can form symbiotic relationships with sessile sea life. Sponges and barnacles and the like often grow on their bodies, sometimes in a very stunning, very beautiful way. Though the people closer to the surface are short, those deeper in the water grow to be gigantic. One of their subspecies includes the Extremophiles, who live in the deepest part of the ocean. They can reach about 20ft in length when counting their tails. It’s unknown weather these Extremophiles age, or what they really do down there. The Dwarves outside of the deepest Abyss usually live in underwater cities, on the coast, or on floating oil rig-type things. They’re all normal.

H. hiems -- ELVES -- Elves are sort of a combination between elves, giants, and general undead creatures (skeletons lol). They’re fucking massive, and live in only the coldest areas. Their skin is usually a shade of grey, tinted by the type of mineral that is the main staple of their diet. They eat rocks. Yeah. In fact, their bodies are so fucked up and adapted to their barren environment that normal food can easily kill them. Sugar specifically is HIGHLY toxic. Because they don’t process food the same way, they’re skeletal. And 12ft tall. Basically, slenderman. Though they aren’t bald. They have pale down-like hair on their heads. They also have another strange diet habit, which developed as a result of food scarcity during the beginning of the apocalypse. They have a very different culture surrounding cannibalism. Though the consumption of entire bodies is Not A Thing anymore, having your loved ones consume small parts of your body after your death is a very important ritual. It is an acknowledgement that the soul has gone, and the body has become empty matter. The other big thing about them is their special Suit Magic, in which a symbol of one of the playing card suits appears somewhere on their body when they go though puberty. The different suits grant them different abilities, and the four suits have divided into factions which were once at war with each other. (Blood (hearts) is healing. Edges (diamonds) creates shield constructs. Blades (spades) is bolts of energy. And Fists (clubs) is bludgeoning-type weapon constructs.) However, Elves are now extremely isolated up in their mountains and tundras. Very territorial. People honestly sort of hate them cause they’re also a little bit specist.

H. invictus -- MONOS -- Mono stands for monochrome. Predictably, Monos are monochrome. Arcane albinism overwrites their natural skin tone, and instead turns them a sickly white color, tinted by their subspecies hue. Everything else on them is jet black, including their blood and organs. Or, it’s that same hue color. They’re really fucked up, honestly. They’re sort of supposed to be a mix between vampires and orcs. They’re an artificially created species, made via eugenics and dark magic. Their creators were aiming to make an unkillable army, and they sort of succeeded, but at the cost of prevalent genetic defects. Around 70% of the Mono population has some sort of disability, which really isn’t a huge problem. They’re more than capable of providing medical care and creating accessibility deceives like prosthetics and magic medicine. You can do crazy shit with technology these days! In fact Monos were engineered to be compatible with tech- oh their creators were fascist eugenicists who abused them and treated them like disposable garbage specifically because of the disabilities they themselves caused though carelessness and forced inbreeding? Well. Alright. Not how I would have done it but... Anyway, long story short, the Monos pulled a 180 at some point and broke free of all that shit. Because they’re sort of a genetic mess, they have really great healthcare out of necessity. They’re the most technologically advanced species on the planet rn, but all of their scientists are engineers and doctors, not warriors, so they’re at constant risk of being annexed by Humans. Monos also have a very low fertility rate, so the percentage of whole-blooded Monos is going way down. They’re close to being endangered at this point. Luckily, some guy figured out how to grow babies in tubes but that’s a story for another day.

H. unicus -- DOWNDEEPERS -- Ok, Downdeepers are just all the miscellaneous designs I came up with that didn’t make sense as one of the other species lol. They’re the decedents of the people who fled to the newly-formed Downdeeps cave system, which is a global system of caverns that goes really fucking deep underground. The high concentrations of magic there cause Downdeepers to mutate rapidly. No two of them are the same. They all just live in tha caves... hell yeah...

The last human species are the CHIMERAS, which are really just the people who are a cross between two or more species. They were rare at first, but they had a population boom after global travel was reestablished (somewhat, anyway).

There are a couple other inorganic races I could talk about but I’m gonna leave it there. Yeah nobody asked for this but I hope you thought it was neat. I am honestly really proud of this world I think it’s cool as hell : ) yeah. And if you’re wondering how all the species can be cohesive despite their ancestors being isolated in different parts of the world (specifically Ogres, who live on every continent and don’t have a common ancestor), that’s because of some meta shit that has to do with how magic and human will interact. Collective subconscious shit. And that would take like 3 pages to explain so like. Just go with it for now lol.

[1-800-hellraiser]

Teeth (Yandere!Eyeless Jack x Reader) 

Requested by: no one

Pages: 5.1

Words: 1,821

Genre: Angst kinda (I promise this is gonna be the last angsty fic for a while-)

Associated song: Teeth - 5SOS

!Tw! Swearing, gore, yandere themes, almost puking, and mentions of murder.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

"Blood on my shirt, rose in my hands, you're looking at me like you don't know who I am. Blood on my shirt, heart in my hand, still beating."

        Eyeless Jack has, for lack of a better term, an infatuation with you. Ever since he met you, he couldn't get you off his mind, you're the eternal flame he's been looking for to light up his life. He would do anything for you, and when I say anything, I mean anything. This mans would sacrifice himself for you, and pray for any poor soul that tries to flirt with you around Jack. Ej will absolutely smite them, not around you of course. He wants you to see the clam, collected, stoic side of him, not the monster side. He will never forgive himself if you saw him like that.

        You met Jack about six months ago at a house party, you were supposed to be his target along with a few others. But, the way you fought against him, he knew you weren't going down without a fight. Jack was captivated by how you fight, you managed to stab him in the ribs with a piece of glass from a broken beer bottle. He had to give himself stitches when he returned to the mansion that night. You're a real life final girl, you somehow managed to defy death and instead get brought back to a creepy mansion in the woods full of serial killers. It's not the best outcome, but hey! At least you're not dead! 

        Now you're training to become a pasta, and you're still Ej's roomie. You enjoy sharing a room with Ej, he keeps his room pristine and orderly, unlike some other pastas *cough cough* Jeff *cough cough*. You'd think Jack's room would smell like rot and death, but he is actually provided a lab to work in. Now that, that room smells like death. No matter how many candles you light, no matter how much Fabreeze you spray, that room will always smell like rot. It's a good thing that everyone has gone nose-blind to the smell though. Anyway, being roommates with a cannibal has it's perks, such as Jack keeping a mini fridge in his room for his "food". He lets you keep food in it too, because he knows how much you hate it when someone eats your leftovers. Jack is also a very comforting person, he's helped you out with your nightmares before. His presence is also just comforting in general.

        Anyway, enough of me simping for Jack, we have to get on with the story at hand. You just got out of your morning shower. You've already brushed your teeth, dried and styled your hair, and put on deodorant. You step out of the misty bathroom and pad into Jacks room. Your e/c eyes catch a small, yellow square off paper stuck onto the top of Jack's desk. You peel the Paper off of the polished wooden surface and read the note. 'Dear Y/n, I have to go on a quick mission, I don't know when I'll be back, but I already made coffee for you, Enjoy! - Ej.' You smile, blood rushing to your cheeks. You realize you're blushing and rub at you're cheeks, you shouldn't be feeling like this about your cannibalistic demon roommate. Part of you says no, but the other screams yes. You're torn.

        You decide to push your thoughts out and drink your coffee. You take a mug off of the handle screwed into the wall. Yes, Jack has not only a coffee machine in his room, but also mugs. Anyway, you take the pot and pour the steaming, bitter liquid into your mug. You like your coffee how Jack likes his, black and very bitter. The only difference between your coffee and his, is that Jack puts certain types of blood in his coffee. Certain types of blood have certain effects on him, which is cool, but also terrifying. Taking a sip of your coffee, you shudder at the taste.

        "Oh yeah, that's good shit," you mutter to yourself. You happily plop yourself on your bed and take another long sip of your bitter beverage. Since you and Jack share a room, you both decided to split the room down the middle. For example, Jack's side of the room is painted royal blue, he has a bunch of shelves for his medical equipment and a filing cabinet full of every resident's medical records. He also has a desktop and a coffee machine next to it, on the desk a bunch of unwashed, empty coffee cups and paperwork.

        Your side however, is almost completely different. Your walls are painted a dark f/c and have posters everywhere of your favorite bands and singers. You also have a shelf that holds cute figurines and a place to charge your phone and laptop. You have put up LED lights around the shelf and fairy lights around the top. You also have hooks on the wall next to your bed holding your hoodies and other things. It's funny, because when a creep walks into your/Jack's room, they see one side that's organized and professional looking, Then, they see your side. You know you're messy and quiet proud of it. Anyways, you open your laptop and scroll through Youtube, trying to find something to watch. You found something, but your stomach growled. You realize you haven't ate anything yet, reluctantly you stand up and amble out to the kitchen.

        Once you make it into the kitchen, you open the fridge to try and find something to eat. You rummage around and find f/s (favorite snack), jackpot. You smile and walk happily back to your/Ej's room. You get back into your shared room, you begin to watch Youtube.

~

        Almost halfway though bingeing Markiplier's Fnaf series, you get a message from Clockwork. Your e/c eyes quickly read over the text.

Clocky :)

Hey Y/n! Do you wanna walk around the woods with me?

Y/n

Sure! Just give me a few minutes

Clocky :)

Ok! I'll be waiting outside

        You hide your snack and grab your shoes, you slip on your shoes and a jacket, since it's pretty cold out today. Exiting the room, you manage to navigate through the long and twisting hallways. You finally reach the front doors and step out of the house. "Took you long enough," Clockwork huffs jokingly, you playfully jab her with your elbow and laugh. "So, how are you?" "I'm doing good, waiting for Ej to get back from his mission," you explain, Clockwork gives you a strange look. "Slender didn't give him a mission today," Clockwork says, you give her a weird look back. "Really? He wrote me a note, saying he had to go on a mission today and he'll be back."

        Clockwork thinks for a minute, then it clicks. "Ooooooh~ somebody might have an admirer~" Clockwork gushes at you, poking your cheek. Your cheeks immediately heat up. "Oh my god shut uppppppp," Clockwork giggles at your flustered-ness. "Jack and Y/n, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g-" you put a hand over her mouth, "cease" you grumble, now flustered to hell and back. You hear clockworks muffled chuckle under your hand.

        Once you get back to the mansion, you say your goodbye to Clockwork and trudge back to your room to think. You flop face down on your bed and groan into your pillow. You turn over to face the ceiling, you hate to admit it, but, you think you're starting to crush on Ej a bit. Don't get it twisted, Ej is fucking smoking hot. Even though, you've only seen him without his mask on twice, mans could commit arson with just his face he's THAT hot. But on the other hand, he's a cannibalistic demon serial killer. You feel like you have morals, but you shouldn't because you have to kill for a living too. You're no better than him in all honesty. You sigh and flip over to your side, now facing Jack's bed. 

        Come to think of it, you feel like he's way out of your league. Jack's not only stunning, but he's very smart, he was a health major for god's sake. Your heart cracks a bit, realizing you're not good enough for him in your mind. You feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes, you squeeze your eyes shut and silently cry to yourself. But before you could get any tears out, you hear the bedroom door squeak open. "Y/n? Are you awake?" You immediately sit up in your bed, "Hey Jack, how was the mission," you ask as jack closes the door and flicks on the lights. Jack is covered in blood, with a beautiful red rose in one hand, and a human heart in the other. This doesn't freak you out, considering he's a cannibal, Jack hands the rose to you. "I saw this and though you'd like it." Jack mumbled sheepishly.

        You break out into a genuine smile. "Thank you, Jack, it's beautiful," you say, lightly grazing the soft petals with your fingertips. Then, Jack hands you the heart, you instantly pale. You look up at Jack, "T-this is for me?" You ask, Jack nods, you take the squishy organ in your hand. You almost vomit when the bloody organ contacts your hand. "where did you get this from?" "The guy who sold me the rose." Jack explains. You stare at him in shock, you ask him simply why, and Jack says "Because he knew you, He was going to steal you from me. And we can't have that." Jack says, stroking your cheek. "What was his name," your heart drops, you hope you weren't close with this person. "His name was...Jay, I believe?" Jack answers, and you burst into tears.

        Jay was your best friend since fifth grade, he's helped you through so much. You just got told that your crush murdered your best friend, and now you're holding his heart. Jack tries to put a hand on your shoulder and you scoot as far back on your bed as you could go. You look Jack in the eyes and tell him to leave you alone, he tries to reason with you again and you just tell him to leave again. You don't think you can ever forgive Jack for what he's done.

[wirewitchviolet]

We really need 1:1 time passage in games.

I play a lot of games. I particularly play a whole lot of RPGs, strategy things, survival games, and these all tend to be games that try to create an extra sense of immersion with hunger, thirst, and a day night cycle. And WOW do they ever end up doing the exact opposite with the implementation!

Like, let’s just start with food. If I am playing a survival game, and I choose not to eat for a while, my little hunger meter will bottom out, and I will start taking damage then eventually die. This tends to take like, one real life hour/in-game day, give or take to kick in, and then death comes within like, maybe 5 minutes if they’re generous? And I stave this off by... usually finding, killing, cooking, and eating, 2 entire turkeys per real hour/in-game day.

So... what the hell is any of that!?

So we have hunger, and we’re representing it as this slowly draining meter you have to keep an eye on. Already, that’s just weird. In my experience, you can go an entire day, not eating a damn thing, and not feel a thing out of the ordinary. But when you do actually get hungry, it can be overwhelming and impossible to ignore (have you eaten yet today by the way? My meal schedule’s gotten totally weird). Nothing about that makes sense to simulate as a slowly lowering bar. If you want realism, you have absolutely no onscreen hunger meter, and then like every 4-24 hours or so you have some incredibly distracting hunger indicator kick in and stay kicked in. Like, activate rumble packs and leave’em going at a steady pulse sort of annoying. And it gets worse when you’re actually preparing food.

Also feeling hungry is not an early indicator that you are going to suddenly die of starvation, or even that you’re anywhere near that point. I had dinner 6 hours ago, I’m a little hungry now. It varies a lot, but actually starving to death can take upwards of going TWO WHOLE MONTHS without any food at all. Like if we’re representing that as a meter, “hungry” kicks in when it drops to 99% full. Starvation is not a particularly common cause of death. If you’re dying of starvation, either someone is intentionally starving you to death, or some horrific catastrophe has just wiped out completely absolutely every potential food source in an area you somehow cannot wander your way out of even if you have months to do so. Relevant real world fact- Any time you see stuff about people dying of starvation, that’s never “farming just is not a thing that works in this area,” it’s “some malicious tyrant is actively preventing these people from accessing food in a deliberate effort to cause them to starve.” It’s really not actually a concern in any sort of survival story, unless we’re going real long term.

Meanwhile, have game designers ever actually, like, eaten food? Like I said, 2 whole turkeys per real hour/game day seems to be the going standard and like... have you had a turkey? I live in America, there is this tradition on Thanksgiving to go get a turkey, spend a day cooking it, and serving it as part of a meal served to one’s whole extended family. You’ve got that one turkey (granted, generally with a lot of side dishes) feeding like... a dozen people, easily. And at the end of the day, you’ve only MAYBE collectively made your way through like half a breast. You carve up a bunch more and send everyone home with a ton of leftovers. Then you’ve still got this giant mountain of turkey left, and you’re eating it for like the next week until you’re completely sick of turkey and throw the rest out, with plenty of meat entirely uneaten on the bird. Or hey, do you eat hamburgers? You know how the standard for a really kinda too big to responsibly be ordering it hamburger is “a quarter-pounder?” Which refers to the 0.25 lbs. of meat on the bun? Just quickly googling “beef weight” and copying the preview text from the oddly named first hit, on beef2live.com... “An average beef animal weighs about 1200 pounds and has a hanging hot carcass weight (HCW) of about 750 pounds.“ I can’t honestly say I know what “hanging hot carcass weight” is and I kinda doing want to, but I’m assuming that’s how much you have to work with after stripping out all the bones and organs and such. Multiply that by 4 to get how many oversized burgers you get out of one “beef animal” (why does it not say cow? I’m growing increasingly unsettled)- 3000 burgers. Give or take. You go smack that one Mnecraft cow with your sword, you should be fine for like 5 years. At least assuming we’re not simulating food spoilage. And if we are, HEY THAT TAKES SIGNIFICANTLY LONGER THAN ONE DAY, 2 IF YOU SALT IT!

And I mean, on top of that, we’ve got this whole standard I keep citing of 1 real world hour/1 in-game day. That kinda seems to be one of the more common standards for the passage of time video games use. That or 1 minute=1 hour. And I... really don’t understand why we have these scales?

Like, the earliest example of a day/night cycle in a game is Dragon Quest 3, where 1 steps on the over world map=12 minutes passing, or 120 steps=1 day. That’s a weird scale I’m having to use, but that’s because as the most traditional of JRPGs, DQ3′s sense of both time AND space are super abstracted and walking a short distance across the world map is this super compressed and simplified conveyance of a big long epic journey through the untamed wilderness. The first games I can think of offhand to really do it as a real time elapsed ratio thing are like... The Sims and GTA 3? Let me look at each of those in turn in a bit here.

So, The Sims has to pass days pretty quick, because that’s like, the whole idea. We’re watching this little household drama unfold in a compressed time scale... but the scale is really messed up? Like, we start off pretty simple. Sims work their shifts of like 9-5 on the in-game clock, need an appropriate amount of sleep... but then MOST things have timing based off having animations play at a reasonable pace, which is to say, 1 to 1 time, not 1 to 60. It takes like 3 in-game minutes for a Sim to get up out of a chair, several more minutes to walk to the kitchen and even start cooking, altogether just getting up, making a meal, cleaning up, and sitting back down is going to end up being this hours long affair, most of that being travel time from one room to another. It’s weird, and practically speaking you end up having them eat one meal, use the toilet once, and take a shower once per in game day, because less than that problems occur, and more than that, it’s a huge pain. And forget conversations. Those are like 12 hour commitments.

And then we have GTA3, where 1 real minute=1 in game hour... and this isn’t tied to anything in-game at all really. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, nothing really has business hours to deal with, the whole day/night cycle is just there to give you a nice cycling change of scenery... and also again, breaks immersion, because the animation speed is 1:1. According to a video I just watched, walking end to end across the map of GTA3 takes a full 48 in-game hours (121 in GTA5). And I mean... there’s races, and high speed chases, and all this other stuff that according to the in-game clock are at such slow speeds you can barely tell anything’s moving. It’s weird and arbitrary! And also unnecessary! Like, I’m pretty sure I sank at least 80 hours into my first playthrough of GTA3. I definitely spent enough time cruising around any given island that if time passed in a 1:1 ratio, I’d still see what everything looked like at every time of day. And hell if you rigged it up to a real world clock I could plan around that, do all the cool missions right at sundown.

But I mean, also, there’s these things called movies and TV shows? You may have heard of them, because it’s where games get a whole bunch of terms they use all the time. Like camera, and scene. So the thing there is, when, say, a movie switches to a new scene, they’ll often arbitrarily jump the day/night cycle ahead by several in-movie hours, or even days, so the lighting is appropriate to what’s going to happen in that scene. You can actually just... do that in games, too. It’s OK. Nobody’s going to stop you or say it’s breaking immersion. I talk to this guy to start this mission at what’s clearly noon, then we fade to back, and I come back out onto the street late at night so I can do this daring nighttime raid. That’s.. OK. You can do that. Honest. No need to have the sun doing crazy fast laps in the background.

Anyway, other games since have all copied that time scale, because blindly copying things from GTA3 was kinda... how people made games for a good stretch of time (and yeah yeah yeah, Elder Scrolls was probably already doing it, whatever... hell so was Robinson’s Requiem I’m pretty sure, and Drakken I know was paced something like that). But anyway, we mixed that sort of time scale with Survival Gameplay and we’re just kinda mashing these problems together. We’re doing everything in this one to one time scale, but the in-game clock is running at like 60 times that, and our already ridiculous food intake needs are downright absurd, and suddenly we’re destroying absolutely all life on sight to sate our ever-present ravenous hunger (and possibly never sleeping).

And like... survival games don’t actually need that? Like the interesting bits of the angle are finding sources of things like clean water and shelter so you don’t die of exposure once the sun’s down and stuff. And these are things you really just need to do once and you’re set. You could... basically set up a whole game, running in real time, where these are early potential fail states. Get some kind of shelter set up within the first 5 hours or so, sleep to advance straight to the next day after pulling that off, then you have like 3 days total to find drinkable water, and... honestly at that point we’re talking like a good 45 minutes of gameplay and you could really end it there, or start your last goal. But instead, no, we’re making some kinda crude axe/bow and killing everything to eat.

Not only is it not realistic, not only does it take me out of the experience by checking the math, the whole affair feels kinda like I’m being put through someone’s weird hyper-masculine cargo cult fantasy of what it would have been like if they grew up Hunting With Dad and like.... OK people who actually do that still kill like one animal, then drag it home, throw it in a big fridge, and eat it for quite a long time, or sell it, or leave it to rot because they’re just really into ending the lives of innocent creatures and don’t want weird gamey meat at all.

So yeah, just let time be time, and don’t ever actually make me eat if we’re trying for some kind of gritty realism thing. I really don’t get hungry nearly that often and fill up quick.

[platinummice]

Ok there's kind of a lot here, but: A2, 4, 6, 7, 16. B12. C2, 8. D3. E2, 8. F11. G6, 7. H7. I2, 5. L1, 2, and 9

Hell yes, give me a reason to answer every single question, I’ll do it

A2. What alignment are they? Chaotic neutral, lawful evil, et cetera…

I think Archer is a chaotic neutral character. He is caring towards animals and certain people and then doesn’t really care about what happens to really anyone else. He tends to be more on the chaotic side because he’ll do anything for people he cares about. Literally anything.

A4. Are they a pessimist or an optimist?

 Archer is a cynical optimist. Half hopeful, half jaded, fully confused. He hopes everything will work out for him in the end, but realizes that the chances of that are kind of low. It doesn’t stop him from thinking about his future though.

A6. Does your OC tend to assume their interpretation of events and reality is correct, or do they question it? I.e., “I’m sure that’s what you said” versus “It’s possible I misheard you.”

He is definitely the “I probably misheard you guy. Its very easy to abuse this aspect of him, because with his schizophrenia, he has a hard time deciding what’s real and what isn’t anyway. So if someone says he heard something wrong, or that he was seeing things he’ll believe them, because that is a legitimate possibility for him.

A7. Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted?

He might not be super confident about his reactions but he also doesn’t let people shame him for feeling. If he is startled by something he’ll say something along the lines of “Damn that got me good.” and if people are laughing he’ll chuckle along side them. He also doesn’t judge people for crying, he knows sometime you need to let it out. He won’t feel that he’s overreacted because he knows he’s been through some shit and if a little cry helps him feel better, then he’s going to cry. None of that ‘men don’t cry’ with this guy, and if that is brought up to him he’s liable to start a fight.

A16. Does your OC have to go through their own trials to learn a lesson, or do they listen and learn from observation and lecture? I.e., does your OC listen when someone tries to tell them the importance of budgeting, or do they have to go experience what happens if you don’t budget first?

Archer doesn’t know what it means to learn a lesson. It takes making the same mistake a few times and someone drilling him for it for him to stop and think ‘damn maybe i shouldn’t do that huh’ 

B12. Your OC orders something to eat and gets their order done in a pretty wrong way, something they can’t just pick off or whatnot to correct, or something major is missing. What do they do?

He’d just ask politely for it to be fixed, he realizes people make mistakes and there’s no real reason to get worked up over something small like that.

C2. Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it?

So I would say one of Archers biggest morals is being loyal to his friends. And he really sticks to that, to the point where i can’t really see him ever acting against it, unless it is purely accidental. If he ever did accidentally betray one of his friends? He would be devastated. He’d need at least a few days by himself before he’d even partially feel up to interacting with anyone and then he’d most definitely avoid the person even though he could probably easily explain what happened.  

C8. Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

Archer is more practical when it comes to the people around him. He realizes times are hard and he can’t expect people to not look out for themselves and he doesn’t blame them for that.

D3. How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

Death isn’t really something he cares about. It’s gonna happen eventually so why worry about it. The only thing he worries about is leaving his dogs behind without someone to care for them.

E2. Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera)

His strongest is most definitely naturalist, his affinity with plants and animals is amazing. His weakest is probably Logical-Mathematical, please don’t ask him to do basic math it scares him.

E8. What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

Not running away from his parents. He probably would have died alone in the desert, but he believes that would have been better than what they made him do.

F11. What are some of their favorite things to do for recreation? How did they get into it? What part of it do they like the most?

He likes crafting things! He almost always has a few bows in various stages of completion, and if he’s finished with them for the time being he can make arrows. He likes see the finished product of whatever he’s putting together, it makes him feel productive, like there’s nothing wrong with him and he’s just a normal guy living life.

G6. Do they have any favorite childhood memories?

... Uh he found a Brahmin calf wandering by itself in the desert around his house one time. No idea where it came from. He was super super excited when his parents let him keeping. They’d never done anything so nice for him before. 

G7. Do they have any childhood memories they’d rather forget or be less affected by?

The very first pit fight his parents forced him into. He’ll never forget it, not in a million years. Not the bright lights, not the people screaming in the audience. Not the hungry eyes staring him down from the other side of the pit. Not what he did to them.

H7. What do they look for in partners? (Emotionally, mentally, physically..)

I wouldn’t say Archer is really looking for partners. Mainly because he doesn’t think he deserves love but once he realizes that’s not true he’ll probably gravitate towards someone who knows how to take control. Its not the healthiest decision for him for him, because he will do literally anything that person tell him to, he really just becomes a pet. Archer is gay, and he likes shorter guys which is good because he’d have a hell of a time finding someone taller than him. But really he’d need someone who wont take complete control over his life, even if he thinks that's what he wants.

I2. Do they have any eating requirements or preferences? Allergies, vegetarian, organic-only, religious restrictions…

He doesn’t eat a lot of meat, just because he likes animals and if he can avoid killing them he does. He’ll eat it if it’s all he has, plus he still has to hunt to feed his animals.

I5 Are they a good cook?

No. He cooks for himself and his animals. Really he cooks for his animals and then just eats what they eat. I don’t know how he’s surviving.

L1. How have your characters changed since you created them?

Oh man i first created Archer back in 2015 when Fo4 first came out, and he has changed quite a bit since then. He used to be super strong, didn’t have any scars, white hair. Most notably he wasn’t an animal man like he is now. He has always worn a mask though :)

L2. What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?

Oh, maybe your past doesn’t have to control you, or something like that? Archer has a pretty fucked up past but that doesn’t stop him from hoping for a better future.

L9. How did you come up with your OC?

I just started playing the game. It took up until this year for me to actually finish it because i finally got something for myself to play it on, and then i started to actually flesh him out at bit.

[yakumtsaki]

Well guys, it’s that time of year again. To recap, Jojo is still not a werewolf, Wyatt has shattered every record of incompetence and still not reached the top of his career, noogiesexual Shajar got dumped by Sophie Miguel and befriended a vampire, Cyneswith continues to date black-lipstick-broken-face-template flop Don Oates, Wulf grew up in the most iconic outfit of all time, and we got a new cat named Alcibiades for D’vorah to mate with since she refused to have kittens with poor Sweets. So let’s pick up right where we left off, which is of course the endless battle of getting D’vorah to procreate..

-Come on sweetie, we got a new boy toy just for you, get on with it, you’re almost an elder!

-NEVER! I’m a direct descendant of Zoroaster’s cat herself, I’ll never sully my bloodline with the genetic material of some pound mutt! You find me an appropriate mate before I go full Henry VIII!

STOP MIXING HISTORICAL REFERENCES AND FUCK ALCIBIADES ALREADY. His name undercuts my point but still.

-Do we have any custom blue fur paint for my balls?

ALCIBIADES SHUT UP. You assholes are by far the worst generation of pets yet, the two cat losers are bad enough but then add fucking Maxx to the mix-

-AND FORGET ABOUT IT. Look who’s getting along all of a sudden! 

-Yes, now that it’s become clear that this cat legacy shitshow is crumbling, I’ve stopped beating up the cats because I will look like a bully kicking them while they’re down. It’s part of my image revamp to get the audience behind a dog legacy! 🐶

Maxx, nothing personal, but I hate you more than you can possibly imagine. Let’s check in with the humans, I’m sure they will be totally normal, likable and stable as always-

-I can see your beating heart with my x-ray vision. I want to eat it. 

-Yay, let my sister eat your heart! 💗

-Stop patronizing me, you little bitch, I can get my own hearts to eat. 

-I just get excited when we do things together! 💗

-GAWD GTFO CYNESWITH, you’re ruining my Aztec sacrifice!!! 

-Ah, to be middle aged and in love, with your terrible children about to fuck off to college at any minute.. Looking at you, Wulf. Literally looking at you. 

Somehow that is already enough checking in with the humans for one update?

-HAHA I GOT YOU! GIMME IT!! YOU DON’T EVEN NEED IT

-LEAVE MY HEART ALONE, SHAJAR, I KEEP TELLING YOU IT’S A VITAL ORGAN

-No it’s not, the paper that got my father kicked out of the mad scientist association said so! 

They hated Jojo because he told them the truth.

These two are actually getting along great and I get my hopes up that Shajar will stop being a literal incel! Let’s all join together in prayer-

-Did someone say ‘prayer’?

GODDAMMIT SOPHIE YOU HAVEN’T SHOWED UP AT ALL AND YOU CHOOSE THIS MOMENT TO MAKE YOUR GHOST DEBUT?? FUCK OFF  

-HAHA I was waiting for a situation where my appearance would hinder the biggest amount of sin!!!!

UGH you’ve gotten even more religious in death?!

-Of course I have, what do you think heaven does to your faith?

How the fuck are you both in heaven and wandering the earth as an apparition?

-My spirit takes earth vacations to cockblock! 

Well at least you’re dying how you lived: pissing me off. 

And of course Maxx goes in for the kill with his ‘good doggie’ routine, terminally distracting Blueshirt Whatshername from Shajar’s heart-eating charms. As always, big thanks to our pets, both alive and dead.

End of the road, Shajar! Enjoy this dancing scholarship that you hilariously earned during all the outings I forced you into to get rid of your incelitude.

As Shajar leaves for college a kissless noogiesexual, I decide to try and solve at least one of my problems, and that problem is called Don fucking Oates. So we call Lakshmi back, hoping she has forgiven me for our last tense interactions-

-I have not.

Wow ok well now you’re just being petty, you saddled me with Don Oates, don’t be a sour winner. Now is there anyone out there that can potentially beat Cyneswith and Don’s natural 3 bolts???

-Nop. 

LAKSHMI COME ON, YOU’RE NOT LOOKING HARD ENOUGH

-I’m telling you, there isn’t anyone else, they’re a perfect match!

Well I refuse to accept that reality, so hit us with your best shot.

-Whatever, it’s your money.

I mean technically it’s Jojo’s and maybe I shouldn’t be spending it so freely..

-Daddy wouldn’t have a problem with it! 💗

Yea he sure wouldn’t, Cyn, since he’s literally this post.

IS THAT ANOTHER TRICOU LOVECHILD AND THE LAMEST ONE TO BOOT???

-Yup.

HARD PASS. 

-Je suis back et je non get prόmόted agàin! :D

Another hugely successful day for Wyatt as usual. Honestly as long as you don’t get fired or demoted for a third time, whatever.

-Sό je can go to sleepé?? :D

Yea sure, it’s not like there’s anything for you to do around here now that the kids have grown up. Not that you ever did anything to begin with-

-Oui oui, all tres fascinàting, bonne nuit now!

Oh actually wait, I do need you to do something before you go to sleep for 16 hours.

-Quoi???

-Ohh, le pόrtait de le morté!

Le portrait de le morte indeed. Jojo is predictably super into his death portrait being painted, as one is. Seriously what are you doing.

-Composing a tragic opera about myself, what else.

On a casio??

-I could afford a concert piano but it wouldn’t fit into this pathetically tiny house you built, would it?

Ok I get where you’re coming from, but in my defense, given your youthful days, who the fuck could had anticipated you evolving into a financially successful and mentally stable adult instead of a bankrupt lunatic that eats his own feces?

-Oui, that’s what Shajàr est going to be! Huhu!

-HAHAHAHA oh Wyatt, you’re so attractive when you’re insulting our two terrible children. Where is that little goblin anyway?

Omfg you assholes, she went off to college yesterday.

-She did??? About time! One down, one to go. If only Cyneswith could stay here forever :(

-Oui :(

-________-

Speaking of, let’s try this one more time. Lakshmi please, for the love of god, give us something I can work with. 

-Alright fine, you wore me down. Ask..

-..and you shall receive.

OMG YAS RICKY CORMIER, I LOVE HIM AND HIS FACE TEMPLATE. What the fuck are you wearing, Rick? Don’t dress up on our account. 

-I was teleported here right from work, where the fuck am I???

That’s a great question Rick, you’re in our front yard on a date with our resident 10 nice points freakshow, Cyneswith. And I see that you have 7 nice points to Don’s 4, so you crazy kids just go ahead and hit it right off now!

-Not if I have anything to do with it!

VICTOR NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR GHOST BINGO, FUCK OFF

-It’s always the time for ghost bingo.

I try my best to make this date go well but Ricky isn’t into Cyneswith AT ALL. It’s honestly pretty offensive and I hate him now. 

‘I’ve had better dates’, you’re like 15, Casanova, calm down. What a twerp. 

With that last doomed attempt to break her and Don up, the time has come for Cyneswith to fuck off to college as well, and yes, Don is coming with us to be endlessly cheated on by Miss 20 Simultaneous Lovers/Grey Hair turn on. Fuck both mine and Don’s lives. 

As if my failure to perform a Donectomy wasn’t bad enough, what does Wyatt get the day he’s finally guaranteed to be promoted, BUT ANOTHER FUCKING CHANCE CARD, WITH WHICH HE HAS A 2 OUT OF 2 FLOPPING SCORE. One of them got him demoted, the other got him fired, it took us forever to get him the 9 fucking friends he needed, so this is just terrific. Istg I could go to a police academy in real life, graduate, join the force, rise up through the ranks and become a superhero in less time than it has taken Wyatt to do it. Here goes nothing but Wyatt’s hopes and dreams..

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FINALLY

F I N A L L Y. 

OMFG.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS SHIT WAS LEGIT HARDER THAN KOMEI’S 6 PETS CAREER ONE, FUCKING HELL WYATT.

What a sight for sore eyes. 2 days before elderhood, but we did it, mon bebe! I’m so proud of us, but mainly me, for not giving up and making you a househusband which I know realize I should had done, because you’re so gonna destroy this city. 

-Je will savé la city! First ordér of enterprisé, àpprehending le killér seriàl knόwn as Dr. Gingér Violetté! ⭐

Oh boy. Good luck with that!

[firstumcschenectady]

“God's Table Extended” based on Jeremiah 31:31-34 and 1 Corinthians 11:17-34

Rabbi Rafi Spitzer of congregation Agudat Achim in Niskayuna, led an amazing workshop this week entitled “People of the Library: An Introduction to Talmudic Literature and the Mythic Transmission of Jewish Tradition for Clergy of Other Faiths.”  Schenectady Clergy Against Hate is a VERY cool organization, and I learned a lot.  

Rabbi Spitzer talked about the roots of modern Rabbinic Judaism as emerging in the period after the destruction of the 2nd Temple (70-200 CE).  This is the same period as the formation of most of the Christian texts.  Jesus lived earlier, of course, but most scholars date the earliest Gospel, the Gospel of Mark, to 70 CE because it mentions the destruction of the Temple.

That is, both Modern Judaism and Christianity-As-We-Know-It (as a separate faith tradition) emerged after, and in the response to Rome's destruction of Jerusalem and the Temple.  It was in making sense of this horrific disaster that new expressions of God's ways in the world emerged.

This is particularly interesting to me because the Hebrew Bible was written down in the aftermath of the destruction of Jerusalem and the First Temple in 587-586 BCE, when the Jewish leaders and scholars were sent into exile.  The stories, of course, were much older, but they were written down then, and that means that they were written down with the question “why did this happen to us?” at the forefront.

That is, the Hebrew Bible gets written down and tries to make sense of death, destruction, and disaster.  The majority of the “New Testament” gets written down and tries to make sense of death, destruction, and disaster, AND concurrently the Jewish Mishnah gets written down and tries to make sense of death, destruction, and disaster.  

It seems to indicate our faith traditions are deeply rooted in trying to make sense of death, destruction, and disaster, or that God is up to new things when prior systems are destroyed, or that in trying to preserve what used to be we end up making new things possible, or that God can bring good even out of bad, or maybe all of the above.

In any case, I think it is interesting, and worth continuing to ponder. Especially now, when we have experienced death, destruction, and disaster, and are wondering what we and God will be up to next.

Our Hebrew Bible Lesson today from Jeremiah speaks lovingly of the “new covenant” between God and the people.  This is such a foundational idea in Christianity that we may not know that this passage is the ONLY time such an idea emerges in the Hebrew Bible.  

“Foundational,” you say, “why?”  Think of the words “old testament” and “new testament” and remember that testament is a synonymous with covenant here.  This is how some people made sense of the whole Christian tradition.  That said, there are far too many who take these words to mean that the Hebrew Bible is old, or outdated, or replaced, and that is problematic.  We intentionally use the words “Hebrew Bible” to recognize our shared biblical tradition.

Anyway, back to Jeremiah.  Jeremiah is a prophet of the exile, and  for much of the book Jeremiah warns of the dangers of the impending exile. However, once the exile happens, Jeremiah's tone changes, and he turns to comfort and hope.  This passage is part of that, promising a return to God's promises and relationships.  The promise is particularly full, as it speaks to both the northern and southern kingdoms, the wholeness of Ancient Israel.  It is also full in that the new covenant will not be dependent on the people's faithfulness. God will take care of it.

“I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.  No longer shall they teach one another, or say to each other, "Know the LORD," for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the LORD; for I will forgive their iniquity, and remember their sin no more.” (Jeremiah 31:33b-34, NRSV)

It is a lovely vision, in some ways the ultimate comfort: a relationship with God one can't mess up.

The Christian church has claimed this covenant as their own.  Take these words from our communion liturgy, “By the baptism of his suffering, death, and resurrection you gave birth to your church, delivered us from slavery to sin and death, and made with us a new covenant by water and the Spirit.” (UM Hymnal, page 9).  

I have some deeply mixed feelings about this claim.  On the one hand, it fits with my assumption that our status as beloveds of God is based on the nature of God (grace) and not on our performance.  On the other hand, it seems rather profoundly to miss out on the idea that God wants us to take care of each other, and that our actions matter in the building of the kindom.

Or maybe I'm exaggerating.  After all, Jeremiah's idea isn't that the people ignore God's wishes.  Rather it is that they know God and God's grace so well that it is inherent in them and they live it out naturally.  (I have mixed feelings about this too – in that it is lovely, but simply not true of Christians I know.)

In 1 Corinthians we read the first historical record of communion.  Paul had planted the church in Corinth but had been away for a few years. In the first century CE the communion meal was a full common meal (think potluck) during which the last supper was remembered. Apparently in the time after Paul left things had gone off kilter a bit.  According to Marcus Borg:

the wealthy (who didn't have to work) would gather early for the meal. By the time the people who worked (most of the community) got to the meal, the wealthy had already eaten and some were tipsy.  They may also have served the best food and the best wine to themselves before the others arrived.  Such was common among the wealthy of the world. For Paul this violated the 'one body' understanding of the body of Christ.  It meant bringing hierarchical distinctions of 'this world' into the body of Christ.1

Borg goes on to explain the later threat to those who eat and drink and an “unworthy manner”.  “In this context, eating and drinking the bread and wine 'in an unworthy manner' refers to the behavior of the wealthy in perpetuating the divisions of 'this world.' In Christian communities, these divisions were abolished.”2

How quickly the early church struggled with the equality and equity of God's kindom!  How hard it is to let go of hierarchy and let love for all be the way decisions are made.  How familiar that is.  Those of us who are white have been trained in mostly subconscious ways that we are at the top of a hierarchy, and when left to our own devices we will re-create systems that put our needs at the top while telling ourselves it is OK.  Like the wealthy Corinthians might have said, “We told them it started at 4, but they don't make it until 5:20. Why should we have to wait when we TOLD THEM what time it started?” Or when a white person takes their own shame, guilt, anger, or aggression as a reason to violate, harm, or kill  people of color. Or even in the tiny little micro-aggressions of every day, related to who gets heard, who gets believed, who is expected to be soothing, who is expected to sooth, and whose pain matters.

It took Paul saying, “don't violate God's table like that” for it to be heard.  But I'm guessing that the reason he knew it was happening was because the impoverished members of the community had been saying so for quite some time, and finally tried a new way of getting their needs heard.  I am hearing from Asian and Asian American friends and colleagues that violence against Asians and Asian Americans has been a regular part of their lives in the United States all along, and has been FAR worse for the past year +.  I am also hearing exhaustion and horror that a white man used his own shame as motivation for mass murder, mostly of Asian women.  

And let me say, because it MUST BE SAID, that a person doing sex work does not IN ANY WAY change their human value, nor make it permissible to harm that person.  Indeed, most people who support themselves with sex work are people who exist in the most vulnerable positions of our society, and as such are worthy of the most care and support to counterbalance the harm they've lived.

The Children and Youth of the Church have been working this Lent to support a Lenten project to respond to hunger. They have invited us to collect one canned good or  nonperishables a week to donate to the SICM food pantry.  We are invited to bring those gifts this coming Saturday (March 27 for those watching this NOT on Sunday) at the flower sale.  Those tangible gifts serve as a reminder of other people's tangible needs.  It is also possible to make a donation to SICM through our website or by check, knowing that SICM can buy food at the Regional Food Bank at a very discounted rate.

That is to say, that as we prepare God's Communion Table for ourselves today, given Paul's admonitions, it might be a good time to be sure that as we receive God's gifts of grace, life, and hope, we extend the table as we are able.  Or, perhaps this is  time for gifts to Patty's place.  Patty's Place is an outreach-based service for women at-risk, exploited, or involved in sex work. They provide immediate resources and long-term referrals.

I'm less than sure we're embodying Jeremiah's new covenant, but I am entirely sure that the part that says that God is with us, in our hearts, and claiming us as beloveds is true.  And I'm sure that we have wonderful ways to respond to God's love – with love, even, ESPECIALLY in the midst of disaster.  Let's do it!  Amen

1Marcus J Borg,  59 Evolution of the Word: The New Testament in the Order the Books Were Written (United States of America: HarperOne, 2012), 59.

2Ibid.

Rev. Sara E. Baron First United Methodist Church of Schenectady 603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305 Pronouns: she/her/hers http://fumcschenectady.org/ https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

March 21, 20201

[astraltrain]

i realize i haven't talked about gorillaz hcs on here in a Fat Second so here i go. trigger warnings for uhhh abuse, trauma, suicide mention, alcohol mention, death mention, experimentation (for noodle) - this is gorillaz there's a lot. this is also SUPER LONG so i'll try and add a read more

every one of em has Trauma To The Max babey!!!! these guys have been to hell and back!!! literally in murdoc's case

cyborg could talk! she just chose not to. also murdoc realized programming her with a voice was annoying because she Looked like noodle but he couldn't make her sound exactly like her and it pissed him off. every word cyborg learned was through murdoc/2D/the book of man/various other scrap pieces of paper she found

russel n del were boyfs. fuck you

2D is the only straight member. i think this is canon actually ngl (was it ever made canon that russel n del were together?? i don't remember)

russel truly believes del was his soulmate and that he'll never find love again

every year on the anniversary of d-day 2D goes back to the place where the uncle norm's organ emporium was (which is now a greggs. i know my gorillaz lore) and just vibes for a bit

russel likes to visit graveyards and play music for the lonely spirits who don't get visitors

2D accompanied him once on one of these trips and it was wild cause 2D's like "russel russel russel are there any spirits near me" as like. all of the spirits huddle next to russel because 2D is loud and annoying. russel's like "oh yeah dee there's tons of spirits over there they really like you. why don't you sing for them" and dee's like :DD

2D is generally pretty oblivious. but. he noticed russel was really sad and missing del during phase two and wrote mr softy's balloon race to cheer him up. it was one of the nicest things russel had received in years and he cried over it for hours. what 2D Didn't know was that he'd just saved russel's life and he didn't even know it.

noodle as a ten year old didn't realize How Bad the relationship between murdoc and 2D was. obviously she'd had a really fucked up childhood so far so when murdoc would hurt 2D and 2D would laugh and play it off so as not to scare noodle, noodle was just like :DDD thinking it was all ok

it was during the time that noodle was alone in phase two after remembering her past that she was like. o h n o that was bad wasn't it

noodle met a girl in japan and lowkey fell in love with her, but they had to split so noodle could go back to kong. she wrote every planet we reach is dead for her

2D and noodle never got to properly reunite in phase three. by the time doyathing happened, 2D hadn't seen her in like seven years

murdoc is trying to be less of a terrible person now and all the other members take advantage of it. russel's like "can i get a coffee please murdoc" and murdoc goes "fuck off" but all russel has to say is "remember when you thought i'd offed myself so you replaced me with a drum machine" and murdoc's like. "how many sugars" dhdgdgdh

noodle n 2D fucking love to dance together like absolute nerds

2D is like. the awkward big brother

they are each others wingmen when picking up girls

except 2D doesn't do that as much anymore so in reality he tries to be noodle's wingman but it fails miserably because 2D Can't Do Social Interaction

the boogieman and the evangelist were murdoc's parents

all the band have really bad insomnia and nightmares so sometimes they all have sleepovers in one room and just. watch a movie and sit on their phones but they're in each other's company and that's all they need

they all have a fear of helicopters, especially noodle

russel became extremely claustrophobic after his time in north korea which was very understandable

all of them have pretty weird triggers but none of them question them. noodle starts freaking out cause 2D's eating bacon and he's like "o shit sorry i'll go to another room" they're all very respectful and it's great

the reason 2D had that bead curtain door in phase four was cause after plastic beach, he couldn't stand to be in rooms with closed doors anymore

also! more 2D angst! he didn't sing for like. a good couple years after plastic beach because Trauma Babey!! so when he had to sing again for humanz, the first time he got into the studio he just. had a complete fucking meltdown because he was so scared to sing again. eventually he managed it but he literally couldn't sing with murdoc around because he was so afraid of him

noodle sometimes does really childish stuff because obviously she had no fucking childhood and the others just let her go for it and support her if she gets embarrassed about it

noodle has killed people. lots of em. some against her will as a kid, some more recently. she has a lot of nightmares about it but unlike the rest of the band, she does Really good self care and looks after herself really well

the band sometimes go on spontaneous road trips and usually end up getting lost and taking aesthetic pictures at gas stations

noodle very rarely cries because she would have gotten into trouble for that as a kid so she bottles all her emotions up in favour of helping her family. when she started going to therapy she pretended all was well for a little while but that didn't work for very long and she completely broke down. russel was very surprised to see noodle come home that day in tears and just throw herself into his arms

noodle really likes fashion and clothes and makeup!! she likes to be Colourful and Bright

when she first arrived at kong at ten years old, she really didn't understand what was going on. none of the band spoke any japanese so she was under the impression that these people were new doctors who were going to train/test on her. she stuck to the routine she was given back in japan and was very surprised when the others didn't do the same. like small green man it's three in the afternoon why are you just up?? big bald man why are you just going to bed??? where is the tall blue man WHAT IS GOING ON

none of the band members were qualified to be parents. at all. they were all very messed up mentally and therefore noodle just kinda did what she wanted as a kid

noodle was exposed to a lot of bad shit while in kong. 2D and murdoc were not responsible at all about what they did and said around noodle so russel tried to be more responsible about that, but little noodle's just like "oh don't worry i've seen worse" and russel's like ?????

noodle was the one to rebuild cyborg out of the parts she had left from plastic beach. she did this while murdoc was in prison just to prove she could

2D has an extreme fear of cyborg, which is. obvious

noodle didn't tell 2D she was rebuilding cyborg. when he finds out he flips his shit and noodle's like. ah. maybe this was not a great idea

cyborg has now formed her own band! the rejects!

2D wears little bobby pins in his hair behind his ear which the band sometimes lowkey makes fun of him for until one day noodle asks why and he tells her it was because back on plastic beach, murdoc would sometimes be too drunk to remember to bring 2D food so he had to pick the lock and go steal some. so Yikes babey!!!!!!

writing the fall was the only thing that helped 2D cope during plastic beach. that's why there was barely any singing on it - this was HIS album, HIS voice, not murdoc's. he could do what he wanted with it. writing it was the only thing that kept him sane

noodle's the only member who hasn't tried to off herself at any point oop

they're all doing a lot better now cause they're all going to therapy yes even murdoc! yay fun happy times

russel taught noodle english and in return noodle taught him japanese. russel can now speak pretty good japanese and 2D knows like. the most basic of shit *flashbacks to the gshock interview video*

there was a while where noodle believed that literally all she was for was other people. that she was either a weapon or a guitarist and nothing more. it was only after she disappeared after phase two that she realized she could be more

she still has a scar from el mañana but she covers it up with makeup

2D and murdoc have made a pact to smoke/drink less, respectively. they also made what they called a "non suicide pact" - a pact not to off themselves, formed after 2D found murdoc shooting bullets into the ceiling in phase four

murdoc knew about the dartboard 2D had in his room that had his face on it because noodle and russel told him but he didn't really believe it until he went up into his room like "hey dents can i -" and 2D turns round and just stares at him, darts in hand fhgvhfhvf

murdoc: ....whatya doin' there dents

2D, turning back to the dartboard and throwing one straight into dartboard murdoc's eye: practicing for the real thing

hcvdhvdfhg anyway

sometimes 2D literally Cannot be around murdoc so he'll disappear for days without telling anyone cause he forgets that people worry about him oh no

murdoc says he wants to drink less alcohol cause he wants to better himself as a person but really it's because he can't drink without getting flashbacks to plastic beach

murdoc's memories of plastic beach aren't great. he was drunk out his mind most of the time so he luckily forgot a lot that comes back to haunt him in nightmares and has him waking up thinking "fuck did i really do that??" but yeah sometimes 2D just reminds him of something really awful he did and murdoc's like. a h

when ace came into gorillaz he was absolutely doing it for the paycheck. then he realized how Enormously Fucked Up these people were and was like o h n o

ace could not understand a word of 2D's english accent

ace once asked 2D why he was called that. 2D said "well my real name is stuart but murdoc calls me 2D and it stuck" and ace goes!!! that's bullshit!!! and he starts calling him stuart. he refuses to call him 2D. 2D gets so emotional over it he starts crying and ace is like "s h i t what do i do did i fuck up" but in reality dee's just glad to like. not be "2D" for once and to just be someone else

murdoc and 2D are heavily codependent on each other and it's extremely unhealthy cause obviously they're Really Bad For Each Other but. 2D's known murdoc since he was 19 and murdoc has never really left his life except for the one point before and after plastic beach. that's why when murdoc goes to prison in phase five, 2D just goes apeshit. because now 2D doesn't have the threat of murdoc constantly hanging over his head!! he's gone and 2D is free!!!! yay!!!!!!!

then he's like. o h. he's gone and i'm free. oh no

because he has no clue what to do with himself now!! his whole life revolved around murdoc and now murdoc is gone 2D's realizing "Oh No maybe our relationship WAS really unhealthy if i'm feeling this depressed now that he's gone!!!"

the now now was like. the fall part two: electric boogaloo in terms of how 2D wrote it to cope with his trauma

souk eye was like a really depressing love song

2D's lowkey a little in love with murdoc but not really in the romantic sense at all. and obviously it's not cute or reciprocated by murdoc or anything 2d.c shippers dni blease

he just. feels like murdoc's the only one who could ever love him and UGH it's so unhealthy. luckily noodle makes him go to therapy and he gets a bit better. by the time the end of phase five rolls around 2D's like >:D yeah!! i won't let you hurt me anymore murdoc!!!

then murdoc actually escapes and is rumored to be dead and the whole band just shuts down

because murdoc, like it or not (and none of them liked it), was the glue that held the band together. and fuck if it didn't fucking destroy them all a little bit, especially 2D

then murdoc showed up at their door and. 2D was the one to answer it without knowing it was murdoc. and there's noodle and also murdoc, still in his prison clothes, covered in literal shit, and the first thing he blurts out is "i listened to the album."

2D panics and slams the door in his face HCDGHGCDH

russel refuses to let murdoc inside unless he can give him one good reason to. noodle comes in through the back door and comforts her brother while he has a panic attack and murdoc's just. sitting at the door pouring his heart out to russel through the door. covered in shit. these guys need help man

eventually 2D and murdoc face each other again and oh lord. they're both crying and then murdoc apologizes and murdoc's never apologized for anything, ever, he never says he's sorry, and then they're hugging and noodle and russel are like !!!!!!!

meanwhile ace is like. can i get my paycheck. can i PLEASE get my paycheck

murdoc: here dents i got you a demon possessed yak. her name is madonna

ace, who's spent many a night listening to 2D cry and vent about murdoc and all he's done to him: surely he's not just gonna accept that and move on

russel and noodle, who know 2D far too well: oh he will. trust me he will

long story short 2D is now the proud father of a demon possessed yak named madonna

song machine is kind of like. their Big Project that they're putting together to try and bring them all closer as a family. it's kind of working but also not really. they're trying their best

they're all a good family and they have to stick together and they're messed up but they love each other!!!! that is all thank you and goodnight ladies and gentlemen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall]

The PA - Chapter 2

Pairing: Tony Stark x named!Reader

Summary: You’ve been at Tony’s side for years now and you never complained until he comes back fromt he mission. Injured. Again. This is where it all changes.

Warnings: Tony Stark (you know what I mean), swearing, maybe a smut, fluff, angst, a lot of angst

A/N: Ok, I never, ever written a story with Stark. It has been sitting in my laptop for almost a year now, so I decided to go ahead and publish it. I really hope you like it.

Here is the edited part, betta’d for me by the amazing @tmnt-bucklover​. Thank you <3

Oh, and Pepper does not exist in this universe. I mean like there was not Pepper in the picture :) And TAGS are OPEN for any of my stories :) Just send me an ask <3

Word count: 2839

The party was going to happen in two days and you were still preparing some last-minute changes. Some people couldn’t come and well, there was no way Stark Tower wouldn’t be filled with people during one of Iron Man’s parties. So yeah, there you were, putting some finishing touches on the plans.

Tony officially came back to work a week ago and took some of the work from your shoulders, which you really appreciated. You didn’t spend time together. There was too much work to be able to just sit down and relax with a cup of hot chocolate.

“Miss Green, Mr. Stark is asking for you”, you raised a single brow hearing the mechanical voice above you. You looked at the clock on the nightstand and sighed. It was almost 3 in the morning. He should be sleeping.

“Please tell me he is at least in his bedroom”.

“That would be a lie, Miss Green, and I am not programmed to tell lies,” you couldn’t help but chuckle at Jarvis’ answer.

You took the elevator and went underground to the boss’s special room. There was only one place he would be at this time of night if not in his bedroom. At least you knew one thing: if he was there, it meant he was alone. No pretty girl was enjoying the time of her life with the handsome billionaire. Were you jealous? Of course. You always wondered if he would at least try to make a move if you were a bit sexier.

You didn’t even know where you would start with that. Makeup was always a nightmare for you, so you never wore it. Hair normally in a high ponytail, jeans, and loose t-shirts could never compete with tight, short dresses worn by all the other women. Even if you tried, you just didn’t see yourself in those kinds of dresses. You left the elevator and gasped seeing him on the mechanical bed without his shirt on. You swallowed hard and took a deep breath before walking to him.

“You asked for me”, he turned his head and smiled at you sadly, seeing you not in pajamas. Something inside him hoped you were sleeping. He thought that him coming back to work would let you work less but apparently, there was more that needed to be done than he thought.

“I need help with this”, he pointed at his chest and his ‘heart’. You gulped, understanding what he meant. You knew everything there needed to be done when it came to the arc reactor. It was a great piece of technology that amazed you every time you looked at it. “It’s time to change it and I’m a bit too tired to do it by myself”, he continued, seeing your scared look.

“I’m…I’m not sure it’s a good idea, sir…” He chuckled shaking his head.

“Come on, darling, you’re not just my secretary. You were the best in your year-”, You blushed hearing his pet name. “-at M.I.T.”, you looked away not used to the

compliments. You took a deep breath and looked inside the hole, blinked a couple of times, then put your hand into it.

“The wire…the wire, find the wire”, you started whispering to yourself, making him smile a bit seeing your focused face. “Oh, god…the pus, I forgot about the pus”.

“Yeah, sorry. Just remember it’s not from my body”, you nodded, concentrated too much to care about the tone he said it in. One wrong move and you could kill Tony fucking Stark. He raised his brow when your other hand rested on his stomach when you touched the wire inside of him. He felt a small amount of energy flowing into him from your hand. You started to slowly take the wire out of him. You were careful. The flow of energy from your palm would erase the pain if you did accidentally touch the wire to the walls. He trusted you with his life, not because of the healing abilities but because you were a smart kid and were one of the most matured people he knew, including himself. Which honestly, was not hard to top. Before he noticed, the new reactor was placed down his chest, and the energy stopped flowing. Your breathing quickened a bit and your hands were coated in fluids.

“You did great. Here, sit down”, he made you a place next to him. Taking a wet towel, you rested next to him and sat down. “That was fun, wasn’t it?” He laughed and you couldn’t help but agree. You touched the great reactor and it was an unholy feeling. Your eyes moved back into the arc and your lip went upwards just a bit.

“Why are you not sleeping?”

“Well you called me in here, didn’t you ?”, you answered laughing a bit.

“You’re still in your clothes and you got here way too quickly to have been able to change before.” You widened your eyes and looked away.

“Just wanted to make sure that everything’s ready and done for the party”, you bit your bottom lip nervously, hearing him sigh. “You…you should rest as well”, he leaned his head down, not taking his eyes off you.

“What color are you wearing?” You looked up, not understanding the question.

“You’re the organizer of the party and my co-worker, I can at least wear something that matches. That would look good, right?”, he winked at you and frowned when you bit your lip nervously again.

“I’m not coming, sir…you don’t have to worry about the colors…”

“What do you mean? You made this party happen. Plus, it’s a Christmas party we do every year.” He wasn’t happy with the fact that you wouldn’t come. Whatever you had to do could wait.

“I never went to any of the other parties”, you answered, almost whispering, slowly getting up and walking to the sink to clean your hands up from the sticky fluid that was still there.

He couldn’t believe it. You’ve worked for him for three years. Two Christmas parties, two New Year’s Eve parties, and a couple of other ones throughout the year. Not one party? What was worse was that he had never even noticed it. You helped him with all of them and he didn’t even care to notice your lack of presence.

”Why?” His voice was more stern than he planned for it to be. You leaned on the sink and sighed.

”Parties aren’t my thing…”

“I wouldn’t mind you bringing your boyfriend, you know...unless you already have a date with him and don’t want to miss out on it”, he added, hoping it would get you to change your mind. He wanted you there. You laughed out loud and turned to look at him. You were a bit flustered but your eyes were on his.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, Mr. Stark”, he widened his eyes, surprised to hear that. “I don’t have time for something like that”, your voice sounded amused but sad at the same time. “Never really did”. Your face was as red as a tomato now. You shouldn’t have said that but it was too late to bite your tongue. You looked away and turned around, leaving him alone. 

Surprised? Amused? He wasn’t sure how he felt hearing all that. How was that even possible? How could someone so pretty and who had such a kind heart have never had a boyfriend? He cursed under his breath, knowing that flirting or even trying anything at the party was not an option. After all, you didn’t look like a one-night stand type of girl.

**

The sun was shining through your window, waking you up from the nice and much-needed sleep you were getting. You looked at the calendar and sighed. 23rd of December. The day of the huge Stark party and the day of your birthday. After your mother’s death, you never celebrated it. For eight years you didn’t care about this day because you had no one to celebrate it with.

“Happy birthday, Miss Green.” Oh yeah, there was only one that remembered this day. Well, it was somehow programmed into him so it was more of an automatic thing.

“Thank you, Jarvis. I hope you didn’t remind Mr. Stark about it?” You didn’t want the man to remember the day only because a machine reminded him. You weren’t mad. After all, you were no one special so you wouldn’t even expect him to remember. You always remembered his birthday, though.

“Of course not. You programmed me not to do that, remember?”, you giggled and apologized to the machine before going to the bathroom. You knew it would be a long day.

Even if you weren’t planning on going to the party, you would definitely hear it. After all, you lived in the Tower and it was not going to be a quiet party. You took a look in the mirror and sighed. The bags under your eyes were getting bigger and bigger. You needed good night sleep. Maybe even more than one. You quickly washed and got dressed, walking to the kitchen afterward to make something to eat. You stumbled over a box that was laying in front of the door, noticing it had a piece of paper with your name on it. Frowning, you picked it up and went back inside to check what that was.

You gasped seeing what was inside- a beautiful, long, red dress. A traditional one with fallen arms that showed definitely more than you’d like. However, you couldn’t disagree with the fact that it was a beautiful dress. Under it, there were black heels and some jewelry in a smaller box. You gulped seeing a piece of paper under all of it:

             Lex,

            I know you said you’re not coming but you know me. You organized this party so there is no way in Asgard that you miss it! I’ve booked a hairdresser and makeup artist for you so I will pick you up at 7 as a real damn gentleman would do. At least that’s what Cap says…

P.S. Happy birthday, darling.

You looked at the letter with huge eyes in complete, utter shock. Did Tony Stark, THE Iron Man and one of Avengers, just kind of ask you out? ‘No! He’s just being nice.’ you thought. You looked at the clock and gulped. You had a whole day to make yourself beautiful for him, even though it was for this one night only.

**

It was almost seven and you felt anxiety rise in the highest possible way. You were walking around the room, playing with the hair you had put into waves. You wore a bit of natural makeup, with red lipstick the makeup artist said was supposed to make you feel more comfortable and sexy, but didn’t. You looked at the mirror and felt sick. How could you show up with Tony Stark and be at his side? Him, a handsome billionaire, standing in front of his own secretary that couldn’t even pull off a traditional dress.

You jumped and squealed, hearing a knock at the door. You took a very deep breath and turned to the doors, opening them slowly. There he was. In a three-piece suit, looking like a God. Thankfully, due to your small height, you were still smaller than him even in heels.

“Shit”, he exhaled, checking you out from head to toe. “You look…wow!” You blushed when he offered you his arm. Smiling at him, you closed the doors behind you.

“Well the dress is beautiful”, you whispered, not even able to look at him. “It does all the magic on its own.”

“The dress wouldn’t look so good if the one wearing it wasn’t smoking hot…and if…you know. Jesus, this has never been so hard before.” He sighed, but looked at you hearing a quiet chuckle leaving your lips. “Am I amusing you?” He acted offended but the small smirk gave him away. You both went into the elevator.

“Sorry, but it’s actually new to see you stumble while talking to a woman.” You couldn’t help but giggle.

“Sure, laugh at an old man!” he barked, which made you stop in your tracks, surprising him. You pouted looking at him angrily. “What?”

“You’re not old!” You answered, crossing your arm around your chest. The sincerity in your eyes made him smile softly. He leaned down and kissed you softly on your cheek.

“Thanks, kid!” He whispered, making you blush. As much as the tone made you feel warm and nice, the words made you feel an uncomfortable pinch in your heart. “Kid”. Is that all you were in his eyes? Just a kid who worked for him? You looked down at your dress and wondered why he did all of this. Was it because he felt sorry for you? Was it because you never had a boyfriend and he was just trying to be nice? Well, it was your birthday, after all, the first one he remembered. But it still felt wrong. Your good humor was gone which didn’t go unnoticed by the man.

“What is it?” You shook your head rapidly and put on the most beautiful fake smile you could manage.

“Just stressed. Never been to a party like this.” You answered half honestly.

“Never? How about high school or uni parties? Or the prom? That was huge.”

“I never went to prom”, you shrugged feeling his gaze on you. “No one asked me and it just felt weird to go alone and well, I was always too focused on studying at uni…” you gasped when he curled your arm around his and started to walk towards the room. 

“I’ll make sure you never forget this party.”

**

You were looking at Stark talking to people you have never seen before. If you knew their name you would probably know who they were but from their faces alone? No. You sigh and took a sip of champagne you grabbed at the beginning of the party. It was already warm and kind of disgusting. It was almost an hour into the party.

“Here”, you looked up hearing a familiar voice. Natasha Romanoff was smiling kindly at you, sliding you a new glass. “That must taste gross now”, you chuckled, nodding your head. 

“Great job by the way. With the party.”

“It’s…it’s Tony’s party.” You answered shyly. You really weren’t good with compliments.

You missed the little smirk on her lips when she caught you calling your boss by his first name. She knew you always called him Mr. Stark, which she knew truly annoyed him, but apparently, something had changed. She decided, however, to let that go.

“We all know that Tony would be screwed without you.” You took a sip from your drink to hide the growing blush. “He’s an idiot, you know.” You frowned, not understanding. “You need to give him time. He’ll notice your feelings. One day.” You shook your head and smiled sadly.

“There are no feelings, Natasha.” Your voice was quiet and low. How was it possible that someone from the outside noticed how you felt towards the man, but not him? You smiled sadly, seeing her pointed look that told you she didn’t believe you. “Even if there were…who am I to even hope for him to love me back?”

“Love?” She asked, visibly surprised. Apparently, she did not expect your feelings to be that deep.

“It’s been two years, Nat. If he wanted to notice, he would’ve.” You stood up and finished your drink. “It’s ok. Not like I would ever have a chance with someone like him.” Before she was able to answer, you turned around on your heel and started to walk around and look for Tony. You wanted to leave but it was unpleasant to just go without a word of goodbye.

You were even thinking of playfully asking him for a dance until you turned and noticed a long-haired blonde with a body out of this world, leaning onto Tony with her lips on his. His hands were on her waist, pulling her closer to him. You gulped and were about to turn around and leave, when he opened his eyes and noticed you standing there. He pushed the woman away and looked at you in surprise.

“Lex…” he exclaimed, thinking of a way to explain this situation.

“Oh, who’s that? Your daughter?” The woman looked at you and smirked, hugging Tony’s arm. He sent her an angry look but before he was able to say anything, you stepped in and smiled at the man.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to say goodbye, Mr. Stark. I’m not feeling too well,” you lied. You were about to turn and walk away when he stopped you, grabbing your arm.

“Hey, I still haven’t gotten a dance from you”, you blushed a bit but shook your head. You took your arm from his grasp and apologized quietly.

“You should ask your partner…she seems like she’d say yes”, you answered. You left the party, not seeing the painful expression on his face.

[barbarasbae]

Just a Taste-The Aftermath

Part 2 of Just a Taste 

Word Count: 1.4k

Warning: blood mention, threats/blackmail, implied smut, threats of violence against women/teenage girls (small scene but I don’t want people to be thrown into it and be uncomfortable) 

Notes: Y/n is cousins with the Byers and that is simply because the Party’s and Hopper’s involvement are pretty crucial to the plot of this series towards the climax so far. The vampire information from Dustin in this chapter are all almost just copied and pasted from the vampire DnD wiki page. I have italicized the text I am referring to. Also, this is about to be the most used gif:

Y/n woke up that morning with a special kind of pain permeating through her brain. With a groan, she trudged out of bed and pulled on her favorite sweatshirt and jeans. Due to the hangover, she was already running late and was forced to down a muffin and banana in the car. It didn’t help that she was also battling against the movement-restricting puffy coat her mom always made her wear. School was uneventful, boring as always. By lunch, Y/n had convinced herself that she had just dreamt having sex with Billy Hargrove, as well as him most likely being a vampire. That is until he threw his arm around her shoulders as she left the building. “I need to talk to you.“

“Okay?” He pulled her behind the school building, looking around like he was trying to make sure no one saw them. “So last night was...good.” He said, lighting a cigarette. She saw the fangs. Oh. She hadn’t made that up. Well,  fuck. “You’re cousins with the weird kid right? Zombie boy?” 

“Don’t call him that.” He flicked the bud of his cigarette to the ground before advancing towards her until her back hit the cinderblock wall. “He’s one of my step-sisters little nerd friends.” They were so close she could feel that he wasn’t really breathing like he should. It was like he forgot to inhale every third or fourth breath. “Do not tell anyone about what happened, got it?” He said, fangs looking much more prominent. “This is why all those girls are scared of you aren’t they?” She murmured, his gaze too intense on her face for her to keep eye contact. “Wait...really?” His brows furrowed. “Yeah. Girls start acting different after going out with you.” He twisted one of his rings, looking like he was thinking. The moment was over as soon as it started, him looking back into her eyes. “Good.” Y/n found it easy to say this was one of the scariest moments of her life. “I know where you live, princess. If Max finds out, I can and will drain your body in two minutes.” The tip of his nose brushed hers. She wanted to cry. “Got it?” He snarled quietly. She nodded, biting her lip. He walked off, leaving Y/n to deal with her pounding heartbeat and weak legs. 

Once she was able to form a cognitive thought again, she immediately went to the public library. It just didn’t sit well with her that such a creature was free-roaming Hawkins. She checked out some classics: Dracula, The Vampyre,  Interview with the Vampire, Survival Skills for boys (you never know), and Varney the Vampire. She spent the night completely ignoring her homework, pouring over the books and writing notes in order to help her understand what the hell was going on. And maybe help her get rid of him. She felt a little queasy at the thought of going against him; everyone knew how Billy had almost hospitalized Chris Nickleson his second week in Hawkins. Despite feeling like she was walking on eggshells, Y/n didn’t actually see Billy for the entire day. Which could be a good thing. Or really bad. As soon as the final bell rang, Y/n beelined to the middle school, cornering Will and his friends as they came down the front steps. “Hey, you guys gonna play Dungeons and Dragons today?”

“Yeah.We’re gonna meet up at Mikes house.” Will answered. “When?” She pulled out a pen.

“Four.” Y/n marked it down on her hand.

“Ok. I need to ask you guys about something. I’ll see you then.” She said, trying to keep her wits about her and make sure no curly haired blond heard her discussion. The kids looked perplexed, but went along. They thought Y/n was pretty cool. Maybe cooler than Steve. (A big maybe). 

After returning her books (getting rid of the evidence), she went to the Wheeler’s house with her notes in hand and was greeted by Mr. Wheeler. “Hi Mr. Wheeler, is my cousin here?” He didn’t look like he knew who she was talking about. “Will Byers?” 

“Oh yeah. They’re in the basement.” She thanked him and scooted into the door, almost running to the basement. “Hi Mrs. Wheeler!” She called as she ran to the steps. “Hey Y/n!” The boys looked at the out-of-breath teenager as she threw her notes on the table. She tossed her coat, sitting down at their little table, getting her pen and paper out. “So, let’s say theoretically, if there was a vampire in Hawkins, how would I kill it?” They looked at her like she had a third eye. “Or even turn it back into a human?” 

“Is there something happening?” Mike asked, looking for his walkie talkie. 

“It’s for a...book I’m writing.” She fibbed, Dustin grabbing the manual and looking it up. “A vampire can be of any evil alignment, and if its alignment was not evil in life it becomes so in undeath.” He scanned for some more stats a little farther down. “It retains all the abilities it had in life, plus it gains the ability to drain blood and life energy, and to dominate other creatures with its gaze...it can also command rats, bats and wolves or take the form of them. They are superhumanly strong and regenerate/heal quickly from injuries. They can also turn into a gaseous form.” He finished, looking up to see Y/n furiously writing down more notes. “How do I get rid of it?”

“You stab it through the heart with a wooden stake. You can also deter it from attacking you by wearing a cross and throwing holy water at it.” Will supplied, looking over Dustin’s shoulder. “Okay. Thanks guys. Have fun with your game.” She went home and spent the evening organizing all the information she had gathered, writing a plan of sorts down. Then there was a knock on her window that scared her half to death. She looked up, the blood draining from her face. Billy. She collected her stuff and hid it the best she could in her closet. She walked over to the window, his eyes dark. She cracked the window as little as she could so she could hear him. “What do you want?”

“Food. You smell so good. Could smell you from the street.” Okay, creepy. He kept his eyes trained on her, watching her leave the room and return with towels. After laying them on the bed, she walked to the window and begrudgingly opened it all the way. “You’ve got to invite me in.”

“What?”

“Just say to me ‘you can come in’.” 

“Okay. You can come in.” He came in and kissed her, hands greedily seeking the warmth her skin held from laying in bed. She leaned over and closed the window, him breaking for a moment. But then he just kissed her deeper. She kissed back, but he could tell it was different. “You know I wont drain you, right? I was just saying that stuff to scare you.” He was suddenly a teenage boy again,not a monster, rubbing his thumb into her waist. A faint blush was painting his cheeks, which she didn’t think was possible. “Well it worked.” She said softly, hands going to his biceps. “Sorry,” he sounded sheepish, like he was genuinely embarrassed by his decision to threaten her. He stopped touching her, walking over to her bed and sitting. She sat next to him cautiously, feeling more and more anxious as he kept his eyes trained on her bandaged neck (now decorated with a Batman bandaid).

“Were transformers not good enough for you?” 

“I needed to change it because it was an open wound that hadn’t been cleaned.” She retorted with an eye roll and a little smile. His hand ghosted over hers that was resting in between them. He gently kissed the wounded spot, then trailed his lips up to her cheek. She winced, clutching her fist as an especially painful cramp throbbed in her lower belly. “Can I help? Please?”  He begged, hand gripping her upper thigh. His fangs had grown longer, Billy ready to eat. “Y/n, I won’t bite again. I promise!” The look in his eyes was very innocent compared to what he had just asked her to let him do. She nodded. A smile grew on his face. She was on her back, hungry lips against hers before she could blink. 

[sweethara]

A message from sweethara’s founder

My head still feels so heavy.

She will be remembered. I am so sorry it came to this. I lack words to express how I truly feel, but I will try.

This blog will remain, for everyone in need of a dose of honey Hara, as we used to say. We haven't updated properly for the last two years, but the most bright and beautiful moments of her career since her debut are around this blog. 

For years, updating sweethara was my favorite thing to do. Making layouts for the blog, editing pictures for posts, thinking about how to make everything looks at place and organized, collecting hundreds of pictures of the queen to post, not to mention the amazing people I had the opportunity to meet. Waking up in the middle of the night to watch KARA’s comebacks since my country has 12 hours timezone difference to her country. Watching full 2 hours long tv shows in a language I don’t understand just to see her and her members talking and laughing... Following her career, seeing her success and her happiness, rooting for her, supporting her in every way it was possible for me... These memories are precious. 

She gave me good memories and inspiration, despite never have meeting her in person. She was part of my life for years and I will never forget her.

I would always check for news of her in the morning at work - that was something I did for the last 11 years. Since may this year, I was worried about how she was with more concern, wondering if she was happy, if she was satisfied with herself. I was so happy she was promoting in Japan, releasing new music, touring, CFs. I truly had hope.

I got so scared with the news of Sulli... 

I was always wondering if she was sleeping well, eating well, resting... She endured so much. All her career, all the meaningless hate she got. This is so unfair. 

These days, my mornings have been... very weird. There’s a sense of emptiness that comes with the death of someone you loved that’s hard to handle. The world keeps turning, no matter what we do, no matter how much I wish it would just stop a little. 

I have said it before, not to ignore sadness. I must feel it. I am alive and I must feel it. At least, for a time. Embrace it. Face it. And then, strengthen myself from it. Sadness will pass, everything will pass. Everything is temporary. Ourselves included. Time is so precious.

Trying to ignore it won’t make it go away. Trying to hide it won’t make it easier. So feel it, grieve, cry, cry, cry, cry a lot for this moment. She was important to you, it is ok to cry. 

For everyone suffering right now, please, seek for help. Take your time, no pressure. But do it as soon as you feel ready to. Do not let the flame go away. Also, keep doing the stuff you like. Keep liking your things. Keep thinking about the next day. And the next. Life is full of surprises, something good can happen everyday. Work on your hobby - or find a hobby! something that makes you happy!, be excited about it. Be satisfied about it. 

Seek for help. Take your medicine, go to your therapy, stop a little to breath, in and out, slowly; stop and see the ocean, see the sky. Pet that dog. I don't know. I know you are trying your best, keep pushing.

Please, just... live.

You can be healed, we are able to be healed. This is the magical thing about the humankind. We are always transforming. You can bloom into something even more beautiful than you already are. Everyday, you are perfect, you will be alright. I am always rooting for you.

And if you are/feel fine and mentally healthy, please, don’t turn your back on someone who’s suffering... The things are different in their heads. There is... a different world in their heads. It’s turbulent all the time, noisy all the time. Please, be patient, be kind. Tell them that you are there for them if they need you. Be there for them. You have no idea how these words and actions are powerful. 

For everyone out there, be more understanding of the pain of others. Don't send hate online or personally or whatever. It is still hate. It is still terrible. It have killed so many people, it will still kill many others. This is not funny. People who send hate online aren’t trolls, these people are murderers. It has to stop. It has to end. If someone is bothering you online, report them - go for Justice if you think it is the case - and for your own sake, block them. Everyone block them until they are talking to themselves - or go to jail at some point for their crimes.

I don’t want to mention that man here... You know.

Stay safe.

Thank you members of sweethara staff, both former members and the ones who remained until the end. I love you.

Thank you for everything.

THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING PART OF IT. 

For following us, supporting us. We were in this together. I will be eternally grateful. 

I am also grateful I was able to be touched by her existance. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I will celebrate her life the best I can.

She will never be forgotten.

Rest well, our sweet, brave, beautiful Hara.

[biromcom]

Ok but what if it was zombies but like... instead of eating brains they just attached it to theirs and it’s like now they have that person’s wisdom too. But they also have to deal with their thoughts and dialogue too. Like they didn’t just morph, the zombie chose to insert this person into their brain for the knowledge they possess regardless of their personality.

Now imagine a zombie that had acquired five brains. It doesn’t seem like too much, but their neck muscles are always strained and they have to deal with the five people living in their head. Jake hates all of the others and spends most of his time screaming at the zombie to kill him. Rosie and Gloria keep flirting with eachother and driving everyone else insane. Grandma Binnings criticizes the zombie’s every movement, each sentence feeling like a mental whack from a cane. Leroy just thinks of music nonstop which he doesn’t even know half of the lyrics to, and some he mashes together. None of the music is anyone else’s taste.

The zombie is still in control of their body, but their mind is constantly assaulted by voices and stray thoughts it’s impossible to tell the origin of. The zombie struggles at first, but ends up making peace with most of them. When they thought they might go insane, Granny Binn hushed everyone and allowed the zombie some of the first sleep they had gotten in the last month. When the zombie was trying to remember the answer to a test question, Leroy stepped in and brainstormed what it might be. The answer was wrong but the effort was appreciated. When the zombie couldn’t stand to sit and wait for justice to be served, Gloria helped them organize a protest. Rosie helped them through breakups and encouraged them to take a shot at new romance.

After a time, they all became friends. Rosie and Gloria were considered married by this point, although there was no way to formalize it. Jake got his wish when none of them could help any longer. The zombie went through the operation to have him removed. He joined his loved ones in death. Granny Binn teaches the zombie how to cook. Leroy learns more of the lyrics to his favorite songs, and eventually gets a few of the others hooked on them too.

Life goes on and eventually the minds seem to merge into one, with some distinctions. The zombie is on their deathbed, surrounded by their loved ones, and they ask their old friends what they want to do. Rosie and Gloria want to pass on with the zombie, they had spent too long with them to part now, and they wanted to see what the afterlife was like. Leroy agreed. Granny Binn wanted to be given to one of the zombie’s children, to give guidance and memories of their loved parent when times got tough.

When the zombie’s last heartbeat faded out, four souls moved on. One had already been transplanted into the youngest member of the family and was consoling them in their loss. The tradition continued, and Granny Binn died at a ripe old age of 300, when her host was shot dead in the street by those who hated the zombie’s for who they were, although only very few took souls forcefully.

:) did you like my story? It’s 2 AM and I can’t sleep. Five hours, woohoo

[nightcoremoon]

a real defining moment in my perspective on life is in college when I attended an lgbtq type social group. part of the icebreakers for self introduction was a caucus: go to one side of the room if you like X, go to the other side if you like Y. they started with stuff like whether vanilla or chocolate ice cream was better, stuff like that. at that point in time I identified as a "functionally heteroflexible" pansexual cis man- to give an apt description of my personality, I was an egalitarian brony metalhead, as in, five finger death punch / pantera / all that remains / etc type metalhead. aka THE BAD KIND. THE VERY WORST KIND. a very "music that isn't metal or grunge is shit" type of toxic masculine asshole metalhead. so I'm sure you can gather what kind of a person I used to be. anyway, I had very limited interactions with queer people at that time; out of my limited circles only two of my friends were LGBT, and only one of them was out. I was already approaching it with a lot of trepidation and a heavy "do I even belong here?" sentiment. yeah I'd consider being with a guy but /am I actually queer?/ so color me not happy or self-confident when the next caucus was Beyoncé or Rihanna. and the entire room started screaming "AAAAHHHH BEYONCÉ" and everything was pandemonium with most of the room on one side, a couple on the other, and me standing in the middle, totally unsure what to do. the organizers of the event were like, hey pick a side. I was like, what if I... glancing at all the eyes locked in on me, a bead of sweat on my brow... don't like either? everyone just kinda stood there awkwardly and all looked at each other in silence before they were just like "ok uuuhhh moving on".

that was the final nail in the coffin of feeling alienated and lost. it was the first step towards my circle into suicidal ideation during school. I didn't really go again. I went to events but not the group again. I thought, maybe I'm not LGBT after all. maybe I'm just faking it for attention, just pretending out of post-teenage rebellion against my religious family. maybe I'm a bad person? maybe I don't deserve to be here. or alive. that would've passed if not for failing every class because I was woefully horribly underprepared for academia because my high school was way behind. I got coddled by the ease of coasting by with doing zero work. just remember all the easy shit I was taught to get As on the exams, which even if I didn't do any homework ever I still got Bs in class. I didn't need to ever do the homework or study, I could just watch anime all day and still pass all of my classes and get into a great college! life is so easy, I never need to exert any effort at all! I can just coast through life easy with my life on a silver platter. then the brick to the face that is realized settled in. and when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I talked to the first trans people I'd ever met (that I knew of). never had I so much as spoken to one of them- of us. I'd heard they existed but I didn't think they were real, I guess. like they only existed conceptually but not in high enough population I'd ever meet one. but I did. this person isn't a boy or a girl? fuckin wild. that dude is a girl? ok. that girl is a man? I'll remember that. wow gender roles are pretty silly. that's kinda cool actually, I wish that I was a trans girl. because then I could be a girl. processing. processing. process- AW, FUCK! oh that explains so much about my life. oh. oh no. oh god no I'm trans. shit. fuck. god damn it. what do I do??? SHIT WHAT DO I DO NOW??? needless to say I couldn't focus on anything, let alone school. I stopped going to class. I just sat and played team fortress 2 all day because my mind couldn't DO anything. I stopped eating. I stopped showering. I was just so overwhelmed with fear and worry about how my life was going to proceed from that point on. scared of what my family would do if they found out. and I was maybe a few days from killing myself just because of that fear when my mom could tell something was wrong, so she asked me if I wanted to come home.

and I said yes.

because I didn't like Beyoncé or Rihanna and questioned my queer identity, I was in a state of mind where I was truly questioning all facets of my personality. and that lead me to come to terms with my gender identity. and it's because of that I can safely say that I may not be happy (thanks, lack of dopamine) but I'm a lot more secure in the direction my life has now. I didn't have any before. I figured eh I'll be a chemical engineer because that makes a lot of money. now I'm pursuing artistic endeavors and setting the government on fire. with correct pronouns.

and of course because of this I also grew as a person and stopped being the shadow of a shitty toxic man; I molted off that fake shell. also I like Beyoncé and Rihanna now like a person of true culture.

...

I pick Rihanna, by the way.