#like oh my god TJ I GET IT TJ SHUT THE FUCK UP

[liferetainsitssparkle]

the age gap in wolfsong doesnt bother me nearly as much as the way that tj klune writes about the age gap does. like he knows what the sjws will say and just has characters keep repeating and then discrediting it, and then has the mc say over and over again that they'll wait until joe's 18 as if there is anything but an arbitrary difference in life experience between a fresh 18 year old and a 17 year old that you've known since he was 9

[villalunae]

"the us is not a christian nation" says who. george washington?? thomas jefferson??? bilbo baggins?? u mean the bitches who u say we shouldnt care abt just cuz they wrote the constitution back in ye old swagless white boy days and their opinions dont matter to us anymore. u mean those bitches. and ur gonna believe their little dumb bitch asses when they say "the us is not a christian nation" Boy Do You Know What Bias Looks Like Cause Im Boutta Woop You With It

[wynnyfryd]

@messessentialist told me her friend called to rant about spotting an “upsettingly beautiful boy in a tj maxx” and i vomited 1200 words about it, enjoy

—

fic idea: chrissy and eddie work together at tj maxx. one afternoon a guy comes in who’s so hot that it kinda just pisses eddie off? bc like, who does this gorgeous asshole think he is??? coming in here and popping his hip at eddie’s counter, like, does he even know how uncomfortable it is to start chubbin’ up in skinny jeans?? that shit chafes!

so eddie gets all flustered and responds by getting an attitude with the guy because he has zero chill (and also because the dude’s iced coffee is sweating a ring all over eddie’s counter, and so help him if his manager gets on his ass one more time about keeping his station tidy—)

“did you need help finding anything else today?” eddie sneers. “coasters, perhaps?”

upsettingly hot guy looks confused for a second before he follows eddie’s pointed glance at the plastic starbucks cup leaving a cold puddle on the laminate, and then he sneers right back; adjusts the ray bans nestled in his perfect honey brown hair and looks eddie up and down — long, slow, one eyebrow lifting in subtle elitist disapproval.

���what?” he snorts, “hot topic wasn’t hiring?”

oh, fuck you very much!

so eddie’s all ‘nemesis acquired’ and holds the biggest grudge of all time. makes a sworn enemy and a boogeyman out of the guy, turns him into urban legend, starts blaming the Upsettingly Beautiful Man for every little thing that goes wrong in his life — at work, at home, at band practice; no place is safe from the dreaded UBM.

“he’s not a fucking cryptid!” gareth snaps one day at rehearsal, chucking a drumstick at eddie’s head. “just track him down and bone already so you can shut the hell up!”

“wouldn’t he just talk about him more after they have sex?” jeff wonders, to which gareth narrows his eyes and raises his second drumstick as a threat.

meanwhile, eddie’s cute coworker chrissy (who he’s become surprisingly good friends with, to the point of referring to her as his work wife) gets a girlfriend. robin’s sooooo pretty, and soooo nice, and sooooo tall, eddie, did you know how tall she is?

yes, chrissy, he’s supremely aware of a stranger’s five-foot-eight-and-a-half stature now, thank you.

“you have to meet her!” chrissy gushes, bouncing up onto her toes.

eddie hangs another shirt. “you have to chill.”

“hey!” she pouts, pixar princess cute. “you wouldn’t tell the sun to dull its shine, would you?”

“i mean, i would, but i doubt the giant ball of plasma cares what i want.”

“okay, whatever, eeyore.” she rolls her eyes but she physically can’t stop beaming even as she does it, and eddie finds himself melting under it — some sort of radiant area attack coming from the apples of this girl’s cheeks, he swears, because the next thing he knows he’s agreeing to go to rando new girlfriend’s housewarming party this weekend so he can meet her properly.

only he doesn’t get to meet her properly, because when he shows up to the party the two bedroom apartment is packed with people he’s never seen, and it’s loud as fuck in here and he’s sweating through his leather from the six flights of stairs he had to climb to reach the place, so he steps through a sliding door out to the balcony and lo and behold, if it isn’t Upsettingly Beautiful Man looking upsettingly beautiful — positively fucking divine, actually, the last wisps of fuchsia sunset catching the gold streaks in his hair and dotting the tip of his flawless nose. Seriously, does this dude have any flaws? A scar, a birthmark, an unsightly ingrown hair? Eddie can’t even see a single blackhead for fuck’s sake.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer” the dude mutters, turning to look at him, and, “oh, my god, you again?”

“uh.”

“i’ve got a fucking coaster this time,” the guy says, lifting his solo cup and giving it a little shake to point out the cork round sitting underneath it, “so if that’s what you came out here to berate me for, then you’ll have to think of something else.”

“uh,” eddie says again, because he has no idea what brought this on but he’s pretty sure it has shit all to do with him, and pretty boy’s really working himself up now, arms moving in sharp gestures as he paces back and forth on the short balcony.

“not that it even matters if i didn’t have a coaster, because this is my house! i can do what i want with my own fucking stuff in my own fucking apartment, nance, i don’t— uh…”

pretty boy’s face blossoms rose petal red, a heavy blush creeping up his jawline as he catches himself mid rant and folds in on himself, crossing his arms over his chest with a sheepish expression.

eddie’s always had a thing for shepherding.

“i’m listening,” he says, popping a cigarette in his mouth and holding the pack out in offering. “if you care to vent.”

the guy — steve, eddie finds out — tells him all about his controlling ex-girlfriend as they work their way through two cigarettes each, the sun slipping away to reveal a full topaz moon, big and low and close, ripe citrus bending the branch of a tree. nance was a real piece of work by the sounds of it, and eddie feels like an absolute shit for the way he treated steve, who had apparently just gotten dumped the night before they met and had been out shopping for a “please take me back” present.

“like that was ever gonna work,” steve mumbles, ashing over the railing. “pathetic. anyway, sorry i was rude to you that day or whatever.”

“you weren’t.”

“nah, i was.” steve shifts his weight, knocks their shoulders together. “not that you didn’t deserve it.”

“yeahhhh,” eddie agrees, cringing at himself. “sorry.”

“all good. so what’s your story then, huh? who pissed in your cheerios that day?”

eddie blames the alcohol fumes wafting from steve’s cup — a justification that makes perfect sense and would totally hold up in a court of law — for what he says next.

“honestly? you.”

steve’s face is so cartoonishly offended that eddie busts out laughing, eyes crinkling, head thrown back.

“oh, so you’re just an asshole,” steve nods sagely. “first cute guy to flirt with me in six weeks is a lunatic. love that for me.”

“no, i—” eddie laughs, “okay, we’re coming back to how you think i’m cute, but i just meant, uh-”

oh, fuck it. eddie’s never been good at holding his cards close to the chest. more of a 52 pick up kinda guy, historically, and why change now?

“you were so gorgeous it, like, genuinely upset me for a second,” eddie admits, running his tongue over his lip. he stubs out his cigarette; turns to look right at steve. “like, uh, like cuteness aggression or some shit.”

steve mirrors his posture, leaning an elbow on the railing, nearly chest to chest. “so you are crazy,” he smiles.

“that’s correct.” eddie swallows.

steve moves in to close the gap. “good crazy?”

“fun crazy, so i’m told.”

“i’m gonna kiss you if that’s cool.”

“very”

the kiss tastes like ripe citrus

[darkness-follows]

NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS IDK WHY IM WRITING IT

Abuse of power

Shane x Female Reader oneshot

Tw: Shane is a piece of shit, if you watched the Shield or just some of it you'll know. Abusing his Power as a cop. Rough Sex. Rough Oral.

Dub Con kinda stuff guys.

Slapping each other around a bit...Beware. Mention of a bloody kiss. Creampie (Shanes favorite item on the menu)

And minors do not read please.

⚠️⚠️ ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 ⚠️⚠️

Interview time with one of Shanes favorite P.I's.

"I don't know okay.. I swear I didn't hear anything" you sigh, Shane has you pressed between him and his station car, he's always been like that, since you met him, pushy and grabby and overall way too much in your space. He might have squeezed your ass a few times or your breasts... and yeah there was that one time where he made you give him a blow job in the back of his private truck. But other than that? He never took it to actual Sex. And he might be a bit off and uncomfortable but he's never been too rough with you.

He doesn't slap you around or degrade you too much. Sometimes you even think he really likes talking to you.

"Give me something, anything Baby, you don't want me to bust you for hookin' now do you?" He teases.

"I'm not a fucking hooker?!" You try to get away from him but no way, no chance.

"Good luck tryin' to proof that to the Departement darlin' " The evil tease in his voice, the smirk on his face. He makes you sick and at the same time... blowing him wasn't the worst thing you've ever done.

"I really don't have anything Shane! I swear, not a peep at the moment. Not between me and my girls or the idiots we hook up with, alright, I can't help you on this one! Now...let me go" You try to squeeze past him again but he doesn't let you. His hands grab your hips, you can feel his fingers digging into your bones.

"If I find out your lying to me..." Shane warns. He leans in closer, you can feel his breath against your cheek. "I'm going to shove my 9 inches into every fucking hole you got" He pushes you away almost so hard that you go stumbling. But you manage to catch yourself in time. Watching him get in the car and drive off.

Fuck.

You hope that wasn't a real threat because..you just lied to him.

❤️‍🔥

"SHIT" You try to push the door shut again but no chance, Shane already has his boot and then the rest of his leg in the door. He's not alone either, feeling two strong arms wrap around you from behind. "You lied to me Angel! Im so..- heartbroken! You didn't tell me that TJ came to your fucking house to what..? Get a quickie in and hide his god damn coke?" He asks.

"Really hoping he didn't shove it up your ass but I might have to do a little search just to be sure" He grabs your face to force you to look at him.

"No...no- please I swear it wasn't like that. He didn't hide anything! I promise...Shane.. I promise. I tell you where, I tell you" You beg and thank god he nods, the arms release you, fuck, Vic.

"I got this." Shane tells him and you watch Vic slowly leave. That's either good or really bad.

"So? He fucked you and stashed his shit somewhere. Where?" He huffs.

"He didn't fuck me..." You groan. "He forced me to let him in, cried like a little bitch and told me he put the damn powder into a flour jar in the youth Center...-" You sigh. Thank god that Center is on summer break. "Oh, really? Cause he told me a different Story!" Shit. He found TJ before coming here. "What's his Version?" You ask when he looks around your place, not exactly treating your things kindly.

"His story was that he hid it here after he fucked you from behind sweetie, now I don't care which tale is true here. I just gotta know where the blow is at" He points out. After knocking some of your stuff over he walks back towards you, taking a fistful of your hair and throwing you onto your knees.

"THE YOUTH CENTER! Shane I swear! Flour Box in the kitchen cabinet." You look up at him with pleading eyes. Watching him make a phone call and moments later you hear a car leaving your driveway.

"They are going to check that out but darlin' if that is another lie...." he tugs on your hair as a warning. Sitting down on your couch with a loud sigh, he lets go of your hair to light up a cigarette. "Why did you lie, your blowing this whole god damn thing for me, you ain't gonna get any more paychecks i hope you fucking know that" He huffs.

"Because he was crying...like a Baby....I felt bad but I told him there is no way in hell he's gonna leave this shit here..So he took it over there. That's all there is to it, I didn't know you guys cared so damn much for a brick of coke" You frown. "Hey!" His foot kicks into your side "You got no idea what this is about so shut it" He uses your coffee mug as ashtray at least. This whole waiting and sitting around, him on your couch and you on the floor thing is more than nervewrecking. What if TJ moved it and it's not there? Would he...- would Shane kill you?

When he gets a call you prey a little, not being religous at all, but it can't hurt right?

When he gets off the phone you shake...hands trembling, looking up at him with big eyes. "You got lucky this time, Vic found it." Shane mumbles.

Oh thank fucking god.

"That doesn't mean your off the hook, you lied to me." Shane reminds, you watch him stand up again, grabbing a hold of your shirt and then he draws back his right arm, turns his hand into a fist.

"Please don't..- don't hurt me. I'm sorry, god so so sorry!" You claw at his jeans. "Shane. Let me Show you how sorry, please." You open his belt with a nervous smile, dragging down his zipper. He's simple like that, it will work.

His arm lowers itself and in a matter of seconds he's shoving his cock into your mouth, down your throat. Making you Violently choke on it, sob around it, gag on it, all the things you know he likes. It's better than a beating, and even though you hate his fucking guts you can't help but to moan around him. Show him how good you can be, useful, that you suck cock a lot better without a busted lip.

Shane slowly breaks it off to sit down on the couch, watching you follow and lift your arms onto his lap before your head leans back down.

He is simple like that. Which is great for you, works in your favor. Might mean you will get out of this one smoothly. He tugs on your hair but gently this time, hearing a deep rumble and moan coming out of him turns you on. Oh he's been desperate for this, he didn't get off in a while. You can tell.

But to Shane a blowjob won't be enough, not tonight. He lets you treat his dick like a candy cane for a little while longer before he grabs your head with both hand, lifting it off of his hard and aching actual 9 inch cock. You lick your lips and wipe your mouth when you look up at him, he loves this shit.

"He really didn't screw you? TJ.." He asks.

You wonder why he's so strangely curious about it. But when his hand holds your chin and his thumb wipes softly over your lips you smile genuinely up at him.

"No, fuck no, crying piece of shit like that? Im not that desperate." You huff. Licking along his cock from the base to his tip and watching him throw his head back. "Maybe he said it cause he knew it would get to you?" You suggest.

"Get to me? Why would that get to me? I don't give a shit about you or who you spread your god damn legs for" Shane huffs, he seems really annoyed at that. Botherd. So much so that he shoves you off, pulling his pants back on. Why is he always so weird?

"So the idea of him bending me over and fucking me in the ass doesn't bother you?" You ask curiously. He scoffs at you, getting up from the couch and grabbing his jacket. "No" He huffs loudly.

He's lying.

It totally does bother him. Fuck, but he's been so...ugh. That can't be how he behaves around a woman he actually likes right?

"Are you...jealous?" You get up, a teasing look on your face. "You totally are! But that would mean that you like me and- there is no way because you treat me like dogshit" You point out.

He moves to the door but his hand stays on the handle, not twisting it. You can see how he's breathing faster, the anger on his face, how he seems as if he's aruging mentally with himself right now.

"I'm not, and your right, there is no way. You mean nothin' to me darlin' nothin' . But..- you are into that, you love it when I treat you like that, when I press myself against you, when I grab at you, when I pull your hair and throw you around like some 20$ whore from the street corner." He points out. Hanging his jacket at the door before he takes a step towards you again.

"The more you squirm against me, the stronger that urge in you gets to spit in my face or clock me one the harder you make me baby. That's what you know, that's why you do it" Shane does it again, pushing you into the wall and pressing himself against you.

"Your into women spitting on you?" You question with a laugh. Then the back of his hand connects with your face, not hard enough to leave a bruise but hard enough to make you try and squirm away from him again. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't like that" He huffs back.

And then you spit into his face.

You watch him slowly wipe it off with the back of his hand, and then his tongue licks up your spit from his hand. Fucking god.

Whoever breaks first now admits to what the other accused them of. If he kisses you he's gonna admit that he actually likes you, if you kiss him first you admit that you like being smacked around a little.

Shane kisses you first.

Which is surprising considering you had his dick in your mouth not too long ago. The way he's kissing is so demanding, needy, he wants to possess all of you, your mouth, your body, every fucking inch of you. You push yourself harder against him, moaning softly into his mouth when your tongues press roughly into each other.

When the air thins in your lungs you pull back slowly, searching his eyes. "Jesus Shane, really?" You question. He looks guilty, he looks broken that he admitted to liking you. "Vic wanted me to rough you up, not a whole lot, just enough to make you understand that you can't lie to me, to us." He frowns. "He's gonna be so pissed when he finds out I screwed you instead.." He sighs deeply.

"What would that have done? Just because you are scared of someone doesn't mean you magically start yappin' the truth. It would have done nothing to me except for giving me a Black eye or a busted lip." Your hands stroke over his chest, toying with the buttons on his shirt.

"Your right and I'm sorry that I almost.. -" his hand touches your cheek. He almost did it. That's how much Power Vic and the guys have over him.

"But you didn't Shane, and that little backhanded smack-" You shrug. Feeling his hands tickle your sides "I knew it!" He laughs. "You totally liked it, I'm never wrong about my women" He says proudly.

"Can you just fuck me now, Shane? Mark what's yours? Cause I don't want..TJ or some other fucking gang banger. I want you, I want the Cop that had his hands all over me from the day we met" You kiss his jaw.

"Promised you 9 inches in every hole for that lie of yours didn't I? Let's get to work then" He grabs your pants and practically tears them down, doing the same with your panties but being as gross as he is... He takes them and brings them to his nose and mouth. Taking a deep breath.

"God darlin' how do you manage that scent, that's the greatest smelling pussy I've ever known" He comments, you take Note on how he stuffs your panties into the back pocket of his jeans..fuck.

"Remember that Collin guy? You wanted to know so so badly where he was, you pinned me to the car, I was squirming against you, you didn't leave off me and then you took a hold of my crotch. Pressed two fingers between my legs while I started talking about where he's hiding out at?" You huff.

"Mhm?" His hand moves there again, cupping you and pushing two fingers into you.

"Those are the same panties I wore that day. Washed of course but, I think it's a bit funny." You point out. "If I remember that correctly too.. you were beggin' me to stop, wanna repeat that?" He asks.

You bite your lip, rolling your hips slowly into his touch to simulate squirming against him again. "Shane stop...-" You try to squeeze your legs together but his big hand is in the way.

"STOP...- stop stop..- please I told you where he is, that's all I know" You mimic your voice from back then. The expression on his face is adoreable, he really is an asshole but god he's so fucking hot. The way he moves his fingers into you, so deep and steady.

His other hand lifts your leg up, he starts moving against you as if he's fucking you against the wall but it's still only his two fingers. "You better be honest with me from now on, I can only convince Vic that it was a mistake and you will never do it again one exact time. It won't work a second time..." and suddenly the play pretend turns into the Real Deal again.

"Don't care who's sobbing into your ear, you hear me?" His fingers move harder, rough now, Drilling into you at a not so comfortable angle.

"What's he gonna do if it happens again?" You ask with genuine fear on your face and his silence makes your stomach turn. "I vouch for you, for this one, I'd forgive you a second time, he wouldn't. I don't know how he would handle it. Bust you for hookin' somehow." He takes his hand away from your wet core. Licking his fingers with a loud 'pop' before he undoes his belt and zipper, dropping it all onto the floor.

"Turn around" He nods towards the wall.

"No" You huff, not after what he just said?! That Vic would throw you in jail for something you didn't do if you ever forget to tell the whole truth again?

He scoffs at you, hands grabbing your hips, turning you around and pressing you into the wall. "Shane! Shane don't! Im not done talking about this..." You squirm for Real this time. His ego is sickening.

"Well I am" He grobes your behind roughly, spreading your cheeks apart. When he lets go you can feel his tip at your hole. The wrong fucking hole. "No...no no! Shane! I'm serious this time, no. It's gonna hurt so bad, please don't" You hear him sigh loudly, and then he pushes into your soaked pussy. "FUCK" But a whole lot better than the other option.

The snaps of his hips are brutal, but god it's so good. You hate knowing that a piece of shit like him is so damn good at fucking, but most are, aren't they? You moan loud, hands trying to reach back to make his hips go a tiny bit slower but he simply grabs hold of both of your wrists. "God damn Baby, I should have done this so much sooner" He groans. His other hand smacks your cheeks roughly, spreading you open to watch his cock move in and almost out of you over and over.

"You don't ever fucking lie to me again or im gonna have you like this for a few friends of mine, they ain't gonna make it this good though" He huffs. And this time you really want to push him off, but he Hits the spot. He just does. His tip is thick and heated and you can feel it drag over a spot that just feels incredible deep inside of you. And with that speed? You knew he was fit but that's some Athlete kind of shit.

Your shoulder and face softly ache from being forced into the wall, you'd ask him to move it somewhere else but your pretty sure he doesn't give a shit about it.

"So good, so fucking good Shane" You moan a bit extra intense just for him, even though he really is doing a good job.

"Yeah I knew you'd like that." He grabs your hips with both hands thrusting so hard that you suddenly slam with your face first against the wall. You knew you'd end up with a busted lip somehow.

"Ow!" You groan, holding you chin not wanting to touch your lip.

Shane at least is nice enough to stop fucking you raw for a moment, he pulls out and turns you around, gentle hands holding your face. "Shit im sorry..." He seems like he does feel bad about it, but not for long. "Hold on, Hold that pose" He looks through his pants on the floor and takes out his flip phone. Snapping a pic of your face with his hand holding it. Getting a good shot of your busted lip.

"Sending that to Vic! So he thinks I taught you a lesson" He smirks wide.

"Your unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable Shane." You curse his Name, turning away from him.

"Hey im sorry, but it works doesn't it, I didn't see how close your face was to that edge there im really sorry" He turns your face to look at him. Kissing your busted lip gently, feeling his hard cock press against your hip.

You nod while he apologizes. Smiling up at him when he kisses it better. Only to smack him one back as hard as you can. You can see a look in his eyes, it's burning, you've never seen such a psycho look in someone's eyes before.

Before you know it he grabs you, lifts you and carries you to your bed. He throws you onto it, hovering above you before he forces his body between your spread legs. A hand wraps around your throat when he pushes inside of you again he picks up the exact same speed of his hips like before.

Your legs wrap around his waist and all you can do is moan, that's all he can do apparently too.

Your moans, your movements, everything is in perfect sync. His hand lets go of your throat to squeeze your breast, rubbing his thumb over your already hard nipple while he slams his fucking hips into yours. "Shane....Shane...stop!" You bite your lip with a smirk when he looks at you to confirm if you really meant it or if you were teasing again.

It's nice that he checked, you didn't really expect him to.

"Think you can just lie to me you stupid bitch huh? I fucking own you. You'd be a broke whore without me" He looks into your eyes and you can tell, for the first time, that he doesn't mean it. It's not how he really feels but it turns you on either way.

"Please...stop, please Shane" You make your voice Sound as desperate as possible and he fucking cums. He moans so loud that your shitty neighbours start banging against the wall. You can feel his cock throbbing and leaking his cum deep inside of you, shoving it in deeper with every thrust that still follows until you cum too. Your raw fucked core clenches around him while your whole body lifts off the bed with your hand and leg strenght only.

Hand in his hair roughly pulling until your done and your body falls back onto the mattress. His on top of yours.

"Shit.." You breathe out, feeling a drop of blood on your lip but before you can wipe it away he kisses it away. Licking his lips and kissing you deeply again.. a kiss tasting of your blood and he's almost ready to fucking go again. Christ.

Your breathing barely turned back to normal when his phone suddenly rings and he pulls himself out of you.

"Oh good fucking god darlin' wish you could see that, my favorite kinda pie" He chuckles, staring at the mess he made of you when he stumbles around to grab his phone. When he returns he keeps you from closing your legs with a hand. Pinning the phone between his ear and shoulder...moving between your legs. "Ya?" He's on the phone while his tongue drags over your soaked and cum leaking core.

He really is a piece of work.

Your so overstimulated but you don't know who he's on the phone with so you stay quiet.

Your hand strokes through his hair when your hips squirm once more because of Shane.

"Oh yeah she uh, she learned her lesson" Shane looks up at you, silently asking if you did.

You smirk wide and give him a thumbs up before his tongue rolls over your sensitive clit.

You could swear a finger of his is toying around with the mess he made while just casually chatting up Vic on the phone.

"Yeah I'll be there in 10" He mumbles.

But you pull roughly on his hair.

"15..Sorry" He tells Vic and you do it again.

"Imma be there in 30 alright? Gotta take care of something, okay, later" He hangs up and tosses the phone next to you.

"Got 15 more minutes out of this deal Baby, how do you wanna spend it?" He's going to need 5 minutes to get dressed and going and 10 for the ride back to the station.

"Well, 15 isn't enough to get me ready for anal so we might have to do that some other time. So, honestly?" You look down on him placing soft kisses onto your lower stomach.

"You can make it up to me now, how you've been treating me since we met." You tug on his hair again and you don't even have to tell him twice, he's so eager. "Yes Mam." He lowers his head.

And for the next 15 minutes you let him work his tongue, you make him clean up the mess he made inside of you. And give you as many extra orgasms as you desire...

You could get used to that, but god he's a dick!

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

EYY Thank you for reading, I really really hope you liked it!!! (I did not spellcheck this. Apologies)

Tags: @justme12200 @its-in-the-woods @dichromaniac @coolranchdavidian @thotslayers

GIF Credit: https://www.tumblr.com/theshieldfx-blog?source=share

[turcott3]

six thirty

tj hughes x fem! reader

warnings?: cursing, jealousy, smut!!, fluff

positions fics masterlist

~act so possessive and crazy but i know that’s just cause you love me~

-

“baby it’s just for a project i’ll be back soon.” you say putting on your shoes.

“i don’t like the way your partner acts though. i don’t want you to go without me.”

“tj you’ll be no help. it’s for a class you’ve never taken.” you say standing up.

“i will sit there in silence.” he replies.

“why don’t you trust me?” you say crossing your arms, a little hurt at the way he’s acting.

“i do trust you, i don’t trust him.” he stresses to you.

“that’s basically the same thing.”

“okay whatever, have fun doing your god damn project y/n.” tj says walking away from you and shutting his bedroom door. you sigh, stepping out the door. you hated leaving your boyfriend angry like this but you were already running behind. you scrape the snow off your windshield as quickly as you could and drove to the coffee shop the two of you had agreed upon.

“hey.” you say walking in and sitting down.

“hey what’s up?” he says and you sit down across from him.

“yep, i shared the document with you already.”

“okay awesome.” you reply, the two of you sat working together, having great small talk over the course of the next two hours.

“so y/n.”

“hmm?” you say looking up from the screen.

“can you come look at this?” he asks.

“yeah of course.” you say getting out of your seat and sitting next to him in the booth.

“i can’t tell if this looks right.” he states, placing a soft hand around your waist. you ignored the gesture, hoping he would back off, not wanting to make it awkward.

“um yeah, id say it looks right.” you smile at him, standing up going back to your seat.

“okay perfect thanks.” he says, the two of you going silent again.

“hey y/n.”

“hmm?” you hum looking up from your screen.

“how have you been?”

“i’ve been good, how are you?”

“i’ve been great. there’s just something i wanted to ask you.” he says.

“okay?” you continue, fearing tj may have been right.

“well we have great chats and we work well together, i feel a little something between us. so i was wondering if i could maybe take you out sometime?” he asks, fully knowing you are with the hockey player. the same one you’ve been with for almost a year.

“oh uh, well i’m flattered but i can’t. i’m sorry if ive given you the wrong idea. i have a boyfriend.”

“that’s never stopped me before.” he says, shocking you to the core. you laugh nervously and shut your laptop, putting it back into your bag.

“it’s been great to get this project done but i think it’d be better if we finish on our own time, i shouldn’t be here.” you say standing up and pushing in your chair.

“okay?”

“sorry.” you say exiting quickly. you sped home eagerly waiting to get back home to tj. guilt washed over you as you got closer and closer. when you pull into the driveway, you practically sprint inside.

“tj!” you call out, seeing his door open.

“kitchen.” he says blandly and you walk in after scrambling to remove your shoes.

“project done?” he asks taking a bite out of an apple.

“kind of? sort of?”

“you were there for hours what do you mean ‘kind of?’” he says, his voice raising slightly. he was already mad and you knew what you were about to say would send him off the rails.

“i don’t know. listen, tj i’m sorry. you were right and i should’ve listened to you.”

“what the fuck did he do y/n?” he asks, his tone growing tenser.

“please don’t be upset.”

“tell me.”

“he asked me to check his work to see if it was right, so i did because it’s both of our grades and he wrapped his arm around my waist but i ignored it because i didn’t wanna make it awkward before the project was finished but then he asked me out and i said no i have a boyfriend and he goes on to say that it’s never stopped him before, so i packed my shit and i ran out of there. i’m so sorry tj, please don’t be mad.” you say, your eyes pricking with tears.

“i told you not to go without me. i told you so many god damn times and you just didn’t listen. why didn’t you listen?” he says running his fingers through his hair stressfully.

“i know im sorry, i just tried to make the best decision for me to get my work done and now i feel awful about it. im sorry.” you say finally letting the sobs escape your mouth.

“oh y/n.” he says placing the apple down on the counter and rounding the corner, his tone changing instantly, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“it’s my fault this happened. i feel horrible.” you sob.

“baby i know you meant well, you always see the best in everyone. please don’t cry.”

“its a fucking curse and it always bites me in the ass, i don’t like it when you’re mad at me teej.”you say sniffling into his chest.

“i know i know, i can’t stay mad at you honey. look at me,” he says and you pull away slightly, looking up at him with your face stained with mascara, “you didn’t expect it to happen, it’s gonna be okay. i’m sorry that i freaked out on you.” he continues softly, brushing your hair out of your face.

“you freaking out on me was justified, how stupid could i be to not listen to you? nothing good ever happens whenever you warn me and i ignore you. i don’t know why i thought this would be different.”

“you’re a good person y/n/n. you’re so sweet and pure, and you just love people. there is no shame in that. i love you, and i will always stand behind you no matter what okay?”

“okay.” you smile lightly as he kisses you on the forehead.

“come on let’s go clean you up.” he says, guiding you into his bedroom, tossing you one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers. you remove your clothes, putting his on while he turns the bathroom light on. you walk in and he has all of your night routine products sprawled on the counter.

“come here.” he says and you walk over to him. he lifts you onto the counter gently and smiles. he grabs the cotton rounds and micellar water, soaking it generously and begins to delicately wipe away the mascara that stained your cheeks.

“you should consider buying a mascara that doesn’t run so much, especially in the winter with this wind. i know it makes your eyes water, you always have little black smudges in the corner of your eyes.”

“noted.” you giggle as he kisses you on your freshly cleaned face.

“there’s my beautiful girl.” he says causing your heart to flutter. tj was a sweetheart and you never failed to melt at his kind words.

“now i’m gonna moisturize you and run us a bath yeah?” he suggests and you nod vigorously.

“okay.” he smiles, gently rubbing in the moisturizer as you shut your eyes. his care for you went beyond words.

“i’ll start the water and you grab some candles?” he says backing away as you open your eyes. you simply hop off the counter and walk back into his bedroom, grabbing all the candles you had bought for the room, which was a lot. you ran into the kitchen and grabbed the lighter, walking quickly back to the bathroom. you lit and placed candles around the room and flipped off the lights. the room was now lit dimly and intimately.

“i added lavender and bubbles.” he smirks and you laugh.

“my favorite.”

“i just know you so well.” he laughs as the two of you removed all of your clothes. as much as being naked around tj usually led to sex, you’d never been less horny. in fact you had no desire to touch him in that way, all you felt was romance, but in the purest way. he climbs into the bath, getting situated before waving you in, positioning yourself between his legs, laying your back onto his chest. he presses a light kiss to the back of your head as the two of you sat in a comfortable silence.

“i’m sorry again for yelling at you baby. it’s not right, i should never raise my voice at you.” he says wrapping his arms around you.

“it’s okay, i don’t ever wanna feel like i’m invalidating your feelings by ignoring your warnings. i hope I’ve never made you feel like i was pushing your feelings aside” you reply as you lean your head against his cheek.

“you haven’t.” he simply states, leading into more silence.

“i love you tj.”

“i love you more.” he says, nudging his head into the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking on the sensitive skin. the sexual energy in the ring going from zero to one hundred within seconds.

“baby.” you whisper as he continues, his hands find their way onto your tits, you placing your hands on top of his. your eyes shutting at the sensation that had you seeing stars. he presses one final kiss to your neck before leaning back up. his hands gliding down your torso, your hands following on top of his.

“my beautiful beautiful girl, i could never stay mad at you. not for more than a second.” he says lowly.

“i don’t deserve you.”

“yes you do, and so much more.” he says quietly kissing you on the shoulder.

“tj.”

“what baby?” he asks.

“need you.” you say simply and he sighs.

“we have all night love. i’ll show you everything you deserve. tonight is all about you.” he says interlocking your fingers.

“okay.” you smile to yourself.

“i love you.” he whispers kissing you on the cheek.

“i love you too.”

-

once the two of you drained the tub and moved all the candles to your bedroom, you laid on the bed with your robe tied loosely. tj stepped out of the bathroom, a towel hung loosely around his hips as he smiles at you.

“come here.” you beckon him over as he leans over to kiss you, his lips lingering on yours for a moment before backing away slowly. he climbs onto the bed next to you, shedding the towel.

“baby.” he mutters and you roll over, your robe now untied.

“yeah?”

“you’re so gorgeous.” he smiles, a blush creeping onto your cheeks.

“thank you.” you reply as you shimmy out of your robe. he finds his way on top of you, his hips between your legs as he looks over you, scanning every inch of your face.

“what are you doing?” you giggle.

“just looking at you.” he smirks kissing you on the cheek.

“if i had a shot for every time you’ve made me blush in the last hour, id be dead from alcohol poisoning.” he giggle, a smile spreading on his cheeks.

“because i wanna make sure you know how much i love you.” he says, two fingers dragging through your already soaked folds.

“fuck tj.” you say arching your back as his lips find their way back to your neck, latching on like a vampire. he backs away looking at you again before looking down, lining himself up with you, pushing in slowly, forcing a moan out of your throat.

“my baby.” he says, his hand finding its way to your chest as he connects his lips to yours. his thrusts smooth and slow at a pace that was unforgiving.

“fuck that feels amazing.” you say practically in a whisper, his hands now on either side of your head, his damp hair brushing your forehead as you lock eyes. in that moment, you saw in him something you’d always known deep down. he was the only one that could love you how you deserved to be loved, even if you had your occasional differences.

“you’re so fucking perfect.” he says, attaching your lips hastily, picking up his pace slightly.

“oh fuck i’m close.” you say, your arms wrapping around his back, tightening your walls around him with each thrust.

“let go baby, let go.” he says as the pressure that had built in your abdomen fizzled away in an instant. he fucked you right through your high before spilling his own climax deep into you.

“oh my god tj.” you say breathlessly as he pulls out of you, running to the bathroom to grab a damp towel to clean you with.

“that was the best sex i’ve ever had.” you giggle as he lays down next to you.

“maybe that’s because i actually love you and i will for the rest of our lives.” he suggests.

“that might be the difference between this and my first time.” you giggle and he kisses your cheek.

“i’m sorry again for freaking out on you. i don’t know what got into me.” he says with your arm draped over his chest.

“it’s okay honey. you were worried and you had every right to be, he was sketchy. i should’ve listened to you and from now on i will never ever question your judgement. okay?”

“okay.” he smiles, kissing you softly.

“i love you.” you say smiling.

“i love you more.”

[bordysbae]

Could you do 53 and 54 combined, with Mark Estapa? Please and thank you 💋

“can i be your boyfriend?”

mark estapa x fem!reader

53. yeah i like you dipshit

54. i want you, not them

disclaimer: i’m so sorry this is definitely one of my least favorites i’ve written, but it’s been in my inbox for a few days and i felt like i need to write it sooner than later? i’ve been pretty sick lately so i truly apologize if this is actually dog shit ugh. ALSO!!! emma is a fake character, idek if ethan has cousins LOL

—

you and mark aren’t dating, but everyone can clearly see that you guys like each other, it’s just a matter of time until you both admit it. normally you aren’t one to get jealous, but something clicked tonight when you saw him talking to her.

ethan’s cousin came to visit him at college, and this isn’t the first time she’s been here either. last year when she came to visit for her winter break, which started a week before michigans, she had everyone’s attention. all the guys were swooning over her, but of course she chose mark. at that time you were nothing with mark, just a close friend with all of the guys, so it didn’t bother you. they never ended up working out since mark thought ethan would be pissed, and he didn’t want to do long distance on top of that.

at the beginning of this semester you and mark became very close friends, and you both developed feelings. neither of you wants to admit it, but it’s just sort of a known fact that you’re bound to date. you guys have seen other people, but once you both began hooking up it stayed that way. you haven’t seen anyone else since you guys first hooked up, and neither has he. but now you’re not so sure, since mark seems perfectly content with her obvious flirting.

you begin to chug your drink as she laughs at whatever he said to her. you can’t imagine anything mark estapa said is that funny, so obviously she’s faking it. “you need to relax, he wouldn’t do that to you y/n,” dylan says to you as he takes a sip from his red solo cup.

“dylan you saw how obsessed they were with each other last year, and it doesn’t help that she’s prettier than me! she looks like a fucking instagram model!” you throw your head back as you place the cup to your lips, finishing the last of your drink.

“relax, she’s not prettier than you. she gets botox and her hair color is fake” dylan chuckles.

“oh dylan you’re such a woman, i love you!” you exclaim as you wrap your arms around the boy. he lets out a laugh and scruffs up the top of your hair.

“let’s go get more drinks yeah?”

“oh hell yeah, i need a lot more to be able to watch this shit” you groan, making dylan chuckle. on your way into the kitchen you both run into luke and tj.

“ah my favorite hughes!” you reply, buzzed a little bit. “hi y/n, hey duker!” luke says.

“y/n did you hear em-“ tj begins to say. “shut up tj, yeah i know she’s here. i don’t really care buddy” you roll your eyes and scoff. you excuse yourself from the conversation before you show anymore jealousy.

you cant stand how much the boys talk about her. it’s always “emma this!” “emma that!” like honestly who cares? you assume ethan isn’t very happy with her at the moment either, so you go find him once you refill your drink. you spot him on the stairs looking bored out of mind as he talks to some random girl, so you decide to save him from his misery, “ethan!” you shout to grab his attention. he instantly turns around and excuses himself from the conversation with the girl. “thank fucking god, you’re my lord and savior!” he exclaims, pretending to bow down to you making you laugh.

“why aren’t you with mark? i feel like at every party you’re always under his arm” ethan asks, taking a sip from his drink.

“he’s uh, with your cousin”

“he is? of course” ethan chuckles. although he’d never admit it, ethan isn’t too fond of his cousin. she’s very touchy with all of his teammates and friends, but since she’s family there’s not much he can do about it.

“yeah, they’re over there” you say pointing to the living room full of drunken people vaping and dancing. emma and mark are sat on one of the couches, and that’s when you notice her hand on marks bicep. that throws you overboard, and makes your blood boil.

“oh you’re kidding” you mumble. ethan turns to you and gives you a confused look.

“what’d you say? i cant hear you over the music.” he says leaning down to hear you better.

“ethan flirt with me!” you blurt out, making ethan spit his drink back in his cup.

“pardon?” he asks, thinking he’s maybe had too much alcohol and is beginning to hear things.

“i said flirt with me! i need to make mark jealous”

“you’re gonna get me killed, y/n!” he cries out.

“and whys that? it’s not like me and mark are dating or anything! we’ve been hooking up, i caught feelings which everyone knows about, and now he’s all over your cousin. so i don’t really see why i cant flirt with you!” you shrug

“i cant tell you why but i just cant do that to him!”

“well he hasn’t been a man and told me he likes me, soooo just flirt with me for christ sake! i’ll go find some random guy to flirt with me if you won’t!”

“no no don’t do that, the guys here are sketchy. fine i’ll flirt with you, but if mark kills me you better speak at my fucking funeral”

“attaboy!” you say playfully hitting his chest.

you and ethan begin fake flirting, and it’s only when you lean into his ear to whisper something that drives mark over the edge. you’ve seen him glaring at you both a few times, but now he’s storming over to you guys.

“eddy what the fuck are you doing?” he drunkenly yells at ethan, making ethan’s eyes go wide. “see i told you he’d kill me! get mad at her man not me! y/n explain it to him” ethan proclaims.

“mark can we just go outside” you roll your eyes at him, he nods his head in annoyance and follows you out onto the porch. you sit against the wall and mark sits down next to you. “the fuck was all that? are we nothing to you?” mark says.

“oh you’re fucking funny mark! you’re one to talk! don’t go blaming me for this shit! first of all, we aren’t even dating so i don’t know why you’re so pissed at me! and sec—“ you begin, but mark cuts you off, “well—“

you then interrupt him back, “i’m not done talking shh! as i was saying, second of all, you were all over emma! you didn’t even seem to mind that her hand was on your arm, and that she was laughing at every fucking thing you said! so no mark, this isn’t my fault and dont accuse me of assuming we’re nothing! i like you, dipshit! is that so hard to see?! i’ve liked you for months now! i don’t want you with anyone else, so i wanted to make you jealous! im not used to seeing you with other girls mark, it’s always me under your arm not emma!” you cry out, now standing up pacing the deck.

“i like you too dumbass! i was planning to ask you out on a date and tell you how i felt, maybe even ask you to be my girlfriend, but then stupid emma came back to town and ruined it! i’m sorry i made you feel that way, but it also hurt me seeing you all over my best friend. girls use me to get to ethan sometimes, and i don’t think you’d do that but it just struck a nerve i guess.” he explains, now standing up as well.

“why did you let her be all over you?”

“i don’t really have an answer if i’m being honest. i didn’t even think about it, i’m really sorry. i get it if you’re pissed at me, i would be too.”

“i’m not pissed at all i’m just annoyed. not necessarily at you, just at everyone. they all kiss the ground she walks on and it’s just fucking annoying. i’m sorry for everything mark, i promise im not mad at you” you say, looking up at the 6’2” boy.

mark looks down at you, and cups your cheeks, “i want you, not emma. know that.” he then leans down to kiss you, and you return the act. his hands remain on your cheeks, and your hands find their way to the back of his nec. you both taste like a mixture of alcohols, but you’re both too far in the moment to even notice.

he pulls back for air and smiles down at you and your slightly swollen lips. “so what do you say, will you be my girlfriend? actually no scratch that, can i be your boyfriend?” he smiles cheesily, way too proud of himself for his romcom of a proposal.

“you’re so cringe, but yes i would love for you to be my boyfriend estapa!” you giggle, playing with the hairs at the back of his neck.

[vinnymauro]

13 and 25!

hi tj!! thank you!!

13. worst blorboficiation

steve harrington and evan buckley come to mind first. it's just, people see himbo character and go "oh this is a wittle baby, baby does no wrong" and it's like. these characters have done some serious crimes. (that's sarcasm. they're not literal crimes but they are crimes against women!!!!!!) like steve did fuck all to stop his friends from calling nancy a slut on a fucking marquee for everyone to see. evan buckley trapped his girlfriend by having her move in because he was too much of a child to tell her he kissed someone else. and you know what? i still love these characters bc they're so fucking messy they make mistakes, but they also try to do better. or at least, you fucking hope but sometimes the writing of the show is disappointing. see, the problem that lies with the fans of these two is that you have some fans who are like "hey they did this shitty things. but i like that they've tried to fix it or try to do better going forward" we love fans of growth. and then we have the fans that try to say that these characters haven't done any wrong, or they're perfect, or (god forbid) everyone else around them are so mean to them bc of 1 altercation. like i genuinely do not know where people get "chimney hates buck" narrative. like even if i've missed it and don't know that chimney still hates him/haven't forgiven him, i don't necessarily blame chim. i'd punch buck in that same scenario bc you know love does shit to you. and i'm not going to touch the steve fan specific nancy hate. bc well unfortunately i once fell into that trap and then i watched stranger things 8 times in one year and somehow i gained knowledge. (my sarcasm is so high to say i'm sorry) anyway i'm gonna shut up now. bc i feel myself spiraling and this is why i'm not really in these fandoms. bc i guess i don't watch the same show?

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

that your special ship isn't canon? harassing the writers and the actors and anyone on staff over a fucking ship is weirdo behavior. offense intended. like what happened to sitting in your corner and shipping whatever bc it made you happy? the minute y'all started going to actors and showrunners is the day that shipping became horrendous. like there are so many popular fandom ships that i cannot stand. and i would be mean and i would be like "well this isn't going to happen" and i could probably say that x actor is homophobic. but i won't. bc you're allowed to feel what you feel about a ship. canon literally doesn't mean shit if the writing fucking sucks. and i've stopped watching a lot of shows bc of the writing and the story got stupid. (or they killed off a woman and i felt murderous. looking at you teen wolf. and the vampire diaries season 5. supernatural.) but does that stop me from shipping things from that show? no. to this day i still love my favorite ot3, scallisaac. scott, allison and isaac from teen wolf you would have been famous. i love ships that will never be canon. the rarer the better. learn to add a little fun and whimsy in your life and maybe you'll understand how f/f shippers feel.

make me choose violence

[satanickpanick]

dialogue-based fic teaser :) this is my version of whatever went down inside the frozen locked room in DADDIES hq. finished fic coming soon! if you'd like to be tagged lmk

Willy fucking Stampler, Jesus fuck, paces and mutters for about three minutes before Lark starts really wanting to bash his head into the wall. Immobilized, he settles for yelling. “If you don’t shut the fuck up real fuckin’ quick I’ll fuckin’-”

Willy lunges, way too close and way losing his cool. “You’ll what? You’ll fuckin’ what, no, please, enlighten me, because last I checked, you can’t do jack shit!”

“I wonder why-”

“I should’ve killed you all when I-”

Sparrow, as per usual, pipes up just when things are getting fun, from where he has his back to Lark’s. “Back the fuck up-”

“-and maybe I wouldn’t be in this fuckin’ mess-”

“Guys!” TJ is just out of Lark’s sight, but he can picture the expression on his face pretty clearly- clearly enough that he shuts up. “Chill the fuck out, okay? We’re in this-” painfully- “together, right now, Jesus Christ, and the longer we’re stuck in here the worse it’s gonna get. It’s like…”

“Like Big Brother,” Grant offers.

“Whose big brother?”

“1984?” Willy rounds on Sparrow. “You haven’t read fuckin’ 1984?”

TJ blinks. “Yeah, like, with the ‘there are five fingers’ and shit, but that’s not-”

“No, no, the reality show, they lock a bunch of people in a house and by the end they all, like, hate each other.” Lark’s pretty sure Grant’s getting his strongest what the hell are you on look since the Habanero Incident of ‘31. Like, he’s on the edge of hysterics (which he is) about some fucking TV show. “It’s a thing! It’s been a thing for like forty years.”

“Oh my fucking God.”

“Marco likes it!”

“Oh? And how is Marco?”

“I dunno, Willy, how about you tell me? You’re the one who’s been out on the town stirring up a fuckin’ panic.”

“Stirring shit, more like.” Lark interjects.

“Endangering our kids,” TJ mentions.

“Seducing Nicky’s ex,” Sparrow adds. “While we clean up your mess.”

“Seducing? Jesus, I get it, you all hate me, what else is new. Can we go back to being productive? What the shit is crunchy and warm?”

“Deez-”

“TJ.” God, Grant sounds like his mom sometimes. And the patented Carol Wilson Cut-It-Out Stare… Lark wheeze-laughs despite himself. They’re all just- ridiculous.

“What?”

“That’s how Glenn fucking died, you wanna die?”

“I mean, kinda!” TJ makes a sound halfway between a laugh and the sound Lark imagines a dying baby moose would make.

“Same,” he replies reflexively, at the same time that Sparrow says, “Jeez, dude, do you need to talk to somebody- Lark, come on.”

“You come on.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Sparrow leans back, knocking his head against the back of Lark’s.

“Ow.”

“That didn’t hurt.”

“Yeah it did, ‘cause of your fat head.”

“Maybe if yours wasn’t so damn hard.”

“Okay-”

“Oh, for the love of God, I’m gonna die here.”

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: Halloween

Summary: A casual Halloween night out for some drinks between the reader, TJ and Cody becomes anything but when the reader thinks she may have been drugged at a bar. When she calls Jensen for help, their relationship takes a fundamental change...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, drinking, drugging, angst, fluff

A/N: This part takes place after the Jensen’s Day timestamp. Enjoy!

______

“Trick or treat!” said Allie after your dad answered the front door in a batman t shirt. 

“Well aren’t you the cutest little Elsa,” he said. He dropped a few big handfuls of candy in her bag and then a few more. He tickled Colin and got a laugh from him. “Colin you are the most adorable baby Yoda ever cutie and I gotta say...you ain’t a half bad Mandalorian, kid. You almost look tough or something.”

“It’s cause I’m a badass,” said TJ as he stuck out his chest.

“It’s cause you’re a nerd,” said your dad. You walked inside, Colin giggling as your mom stole him away without a second glance. “Nice costume though.”

“Y/N picked it out off some website or something,” he said. He sneezed and your dad shut the door. “God my allergies are killing me lately. Ragweed is horrible this year.”

“I know. De and I have been popping allergy meds the past few days,” he said. “You get it the worst.”

“Yeah but I started taking it like a week ago to build it up. I think it’s helping. Also, a bounty hunter and an adoptive dad? Mmm, peak man crush right there, babe,” you said, your dad rolling his eyes as TJ kissed your cheek.

“And what exactly are you supposed to be? A curtain?” teased your dad as you spun around.

“I thought I’d go another route,” you said. You took off your robe and he went wide eyed. “Soldier...girl?”

“Oh my God. You’re Solider Boy. That is so fucking cool!” he said as he looked you over.

“Jay, fuck’s a bad word,” said Allie. 

“And we don’t repeat bad words, do we,” said TJ. “De’s got some more candy for you somewhere I bet.”

She took off up to the TV room and your dad walked around you.

“What do you think?” you asked. “Look real?”

“Okay that’s like good. Like real good. It’s just like mine from the show. Like even the shield looks the same.”

“It’s from the show. Kripke sent it to me. I know it’s a little big for my back but I couldn’t not use it,” you said. “I took a long shot and asked him on Twitter about it and he just like sent me the thing. He was really nice.”

“Good,” he said as he looked you over. “I am impressed. You guys might win your costume contest thing at whatever bar you’re going to.”

“I just want to go drink,” you said, TJ throwing an arm over your shoulders. “We’ll be back around eleven, midnight?” 

“Go have fun. Mom and I’ll watch the babies tonight. Pick ‘em up in the morning,” he said.

“We didn’t pack bags for them,” you said. He stared at you and shook his head.

“You live a quarter of a mile away. We shall survive without you for one evening,” he said, pushing you both out the door. “Go have fun with Cody. I’ll see your hungover butts tomorrow, okay?”

“Don’t have to tell us twice.”

“Cody,” you said at the bar a few hours later. He finished off his drink and shook out his head. “Can you check on TJ? He’s been in the bathroom awhile.”

“Yeah. Order me another gin and tonic?” he asked.

“Can do,” you said. You hopped off your seat and paused for a moment, getting your bearings before you walked over to the bar. “Gin and tonic and another...graveyard…”

“Graveyard smash?” asked the girl behind the bar.

“Yeah. Another one of those. Oh and a bottle of bud,” you said. You handed over your card to pay, tucking it back in your shorts pocket. You brought the drinks over to the table, finishing off your margarita and the last of TJ’s old beer before you started sipping on the Halloween mixer. 

It took about thirty seconds before you realized what you’d done.

“Fuck,” you said. You pursed your lips and took out your phone, biting your bottom lip before you dialed.

“You better be drunk calling me,” chuckled your dad. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“The guys are in the bathroom and I just drank from a glass that nobody was watching,” you said. You shut your eyes and felt a little off, not sure if it was because of the already decent amount of alcohol in you or something else. “What do I do?”

“Go to the bar and sit there and don’t move. The boys will be back soon,” he said. You tried to move but felt wobbly and sat back on your seat. “Y/N, don’t hang up on me.”

“Dad, I don’t think I can walk over there,” you said. “I’m drunk but...shit I fucked up.”

“Where are you?” he asked.

“Um, the uh...the place to the right of Jared’s.”

“Okay. Sit there. I’m gonna call…” he said as you stared down at the bathrooms. “Y/N. Answer me.”

“I think something’s wrong,” you said. “The boys are taking too long.”

“Cody is a police officer and TJ is tougher than he looks. They’re probably throwing up or something,” he said.

“TJ said he felt funny,” you said as you stared at his glass. “What if it was in his drink?”

“I don’t know but whatever you do, do not leave your spot,” he said.

“But it’s TJ.”

“Y/N I’m having a hard enough time not freaking out right now. Please do not move,” he said. 

“Hey! Soldier boy!” said a guy walking by in a homelander costume. “Nice suit.”

“Can you do me a favor?” you said, the guy smiling as he leaned against your table. “My husband and friend went to the bathroom a long time ago and didn’t come back. One’s the Mandalorian and the other one is a zombie. Can you check on them for me?”

“Yes I can very drunk girl,” he chuckled. “I’ll be back.”

“Y/N, stop putting the phone down,” said your dad in your ear.

“Homelander’s going to look for the boys.”

“Your boys or The Boys?” he asked.

“Should I have clarified?”

“Just...I’ll be there soon. Don’t-”

“Boys!” you said, Homelander wandering back over with a very pale looking TJ and a wet Cody.

“I think your friends were puking in the alley,” said Homelander.

“Thank you so much,” you said. “You’re so sweet.”

“Mind if I get a pic? Your costume is kinda perfect,” he said.

“Not at all,” you said. You hopped off your seat and felt better. “Ah, okay. Just drunk.”

“Hm?” said TJ as you hung up your call and the other guy gave him his phone. “Hey there’s a starlight over there too.”

“Starlight! Come get your pic taken with the Seven, girl!” you shouted.

“She’s drunk,” said the homelander guy with a laugh. 

“After three of those graveyard smash things? Oh for sure,” said TJ.

Half an hour later you were onto another drink and TJ was fanboying over star wars with another guy in a Mandalorian outfit. Cody was talking to the starlight chick who was maybe in a relationship with the homelander guy. They were at least mutually pining for one another if they weren’t already.

“Morris. Come on. I’m drunk and even I can tell Kayla Starlight over there is dying for you to ask her out,” you said. He shrugged and you cocked your head. “Oh come on.”

“She’s been my best friend since I was like four. Like, I can’t fuck up twenty something years of friendship if she’s...how fucked am I?” he asked as you smirked.

“So fucked,” you laughed. “Trust me. I was besties with my husband for years before we finally talked about it. Sometimes you just gotta-”

“Why the fuck haven’t you been answering your phone?” you heard your dad say. You spun around and gave him a smile.

“Is that the guy that played-”

“Walk away kid. Now,” growled your dad. 

“See ya around, Y/N,” he said, Kayla disappearing with a wave with him. TJ spun around and your dad shot him a dirty look.

“What’d I do?” asked TJ.

“You three are glued to your phones yet tonight for some reason, you seem to have forgotten they exist. If you’d read a text then you’d know that she called me half an hour ago saying she thought she’d been drugged.”

“What?” Cody and TJ said, both of them staring at you.

“Fuck, Y/N I thought someone took you,” said your dad. You opened your mouth and he shook his head.

“She’s just drunk,” said TJ. 

“Well thanks for the update. You could have answered your phone,” he said. He glared at you and shook his head. “Don’t ever do that again.”

He left the bar and you slid off your seat, jogging outside, telling the boys you’d be back in a minute. There were a lot of people out for a Friday night and it took a second to find him in the crowd. 

“Dad,” you said. You caught up with him as he walked down the sidewalk. You tugged on his arm and the man spun around, very much not your father. “Sorry. I thought you were someone else.”

“Nice costume,” he said and you stepped back into another body, your head swimming. “You gonna puke? Alley’s over there.”

You turned your head and jogged around the corner, spitting up your stomach with a big heave. You wiped off your mouth and sighed, getting up to your feet. There was a shove on your back and you got pushed further into the darkness, falling onto the dirt and gravel. You spun around on your bottom and saw the guy from before.

“Be more careful, kid. You’re tripping there.”

“You pushed me,” you grumbled as you stood up, picking up a rock in your fist as you went.

“You’re on something. You got that look in your eye,” he said. You narrowed your eyes and he walked forward, close enough for you to whack him in the head with the rock. He swore as he fell down and you ran back onto the street, jogging away until you got to a street corner and saw a familiar back of someone’s head.

“Dad,” you said, tugging on his jacket, relieved to find it was him this time. “Dad, there was-”

“I don’t want to speak to you right now,” he said. You swallowed and stared at him, his face hard.

“Dad. I-”

“You never hang up the phone with me when you call me like that ever again, do you understand?” he said. You stared at him and his jaw clenched. “Of course you don’t. You’re drunk.”

“Dad I’m not. I-”

“You smell like vomit,” he said with a scoff. You turned around and saw the man from before hanging back, shooting you a look. “Go back to the bar, Y/N.”

“Dad-”

“Would you just go?” he shouted. 

“Dad don’t. I need-”

“For fucks sake. Just go away.”

You let go of his arm, tears welling in your eyes. 

“Grow up,” he said. You stepped back, watching him walk across the street.

“D-Daddy,” you said. He stopped in the crosswalk and looked back at you, his gaze following yours over to the man. The man saw him look at him and took off back towards the bars when he saw your dad scowling. Your dad jogged back over to you, tensing when you took a step back from him. 

“No one’s gonna hurt you,” he said. He stepped closer and you squeezed your eyes shut. “Y/N. What’s wrong?”

“I feel funny and I’m drunk and I’m scared and I’m scared of you,” you breathed out. “You were gonna leave me alone.”

“Y/N-”

“You said you wouldn’t leave me alone,” you said. You stumbled over to a nearby wall and slide down it, your head in your hands. “Don’t leave me alone. You promised. You said so.”

“Okay,” he said as he sat down beside you. He kissed the top of your head and you heard him shudder. “You’re okay, munchkin, I promise.”

“How are you feeling this morning?” asked the doctor that walked into your room. 

“Tired,” you mumbled. TJ and Cody were there in their own stalls, still in their costumes, your dad out in the hall talking to someone.

“Your blood alcohol content was up there,” he said. “Especially you, Y/N.”

“I want to go home,” you groaned.

“You’ll be discharged shortly,” he said. You grumbled and half an hour later you were signing something that you could leave.

“Y/N,” said your dad as you walked away from the nurses station. You glanced over your shoulder, glancing down until he came over. “We need to talk about last night.”

“No we don’t. We got too drunk. I fucked up. Lesson learned,” you said. You started to head out and he grabbed your shoulder. “Jensen let go.”

“Y/N,” he said, spinning you around. He opened his mouth and you crossed your arms, shrugging him off. “I made a mistake.”

“I had to beg you to help me. I called you daddy I was so scared,” you said. He shut his eyes and you growled. “Look at me.”

He snapped his eyes up, his eyes a little red already but you were too angry to care.

“The only other time I’ve ever called you that, I thought you were dead on that road. I thought...I thought there was absolutely...I was drunk and maybe drugged and your reaction was to get pissed at me, at us, for not answering phones. A man tried to attack me and I got away because my dad told me to grab whatever I could if I was ever in that situation. There you were, the safest place in the world, the safest I could ever feel after something like that happened and you told me to go away. I was terrified and you could see it on my face and you left me. You made me beg for you to help me. I don’t know who the fuck you were last night but you were not my father. You’re Jensen again until he decides to come back.”

“Y/N,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Congratulations. You’re just like every other foster father I ever had.”

He stared at you and you turned around, walking past both TJ and Cody.

“Y/N,” said TJ and you kept walking. “Y/N. Jensen, she didn’t mean that.”

“Yes, I did. Let’s go TJ.”

One Week Later

The doorbell rang and you rolled your eyes, TJ walking past the couch and away from the door.

“TJ, can-”

“Tell him yourself,” he said, going to his office and slamming the door. You glared at it before going to the front door. You opened it quickly, your dad standing there in his raincoat and swallowing thickly.

“Is this about work?” you asked.

“No,” he said quietly.

“Then get off of my property.”

“Y/N-” he said as you slammed the door shut in his face. He rang the doorbell again and you ripped it open. “Honey-”

“I’m not your honey or kiddo or tall munchkin or anything, Jensen. This is me telling you that I want you out of my life,” you said. He lowered his head and you heard him sniffle. “I don’t give a fuck about if you cry. Get out of our lives. Stay away from my family.”

“I’ll do whatever you want me to,” he breathed out, forcing his head up. His eyes were red and puffy, face tired like it’d been that way for days. “I’ll do whatever you want. I promise.”

“You humiliated me,” you said, stepping outside and pulling the door shut. “I thought you loved me.”

“I do,” he said. “I love you so much you-”

“You don’t even know. Boo fucking hoo,” you said. He stepped back and looked small, rain dripping down on him now. “The real world sucks. Get used to it.”

“I made a mistake. Please,” he said. “Y-you don’t have to forgive me. You can...just let me try. Please. We’ve always tried. P-please let me try.”

You stared at him, watching him look down, watching him debate getting on his knees.

And it dawned on you what you’d done. What you’d said.

“Y/N, Y/N, honey,” said TJ. You looked up from the floor of your bathroom, your dad knelt down on your other side. “Honey, look at me.”

He grabbed your face and you felt wet tears streaming steadily down your cheeks.

“What happened?” you asked. “I was on the porch and now I’m here?”

“You were talking to your dad outside and he said you just...fell over crying.”

“Something’s wrong with me,” you said. You shut your eyes and TJ looked around.

“I’m gonna call the doctor,” he said. “Jensen can you keep an eye on her?”

“Of course,” he said. He kept his distance and you sniffled, opening your eyes. He looked down when you met his eyes and you started to cry.

“I’m sorry,” you said. You grabbed his arm and sat up on your knees, giving him a big hug. “Dad I’m so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Please. Please. I’m sorry. I want to be your daughter. I want my dad back. Please.”

“I wasn’t going anywhere,” he said. He relaxed and felt like himself again, your head resting on his shoulder. 

“Uh, guys?” asked TJ. You lifted your head up, TJ holding up his phone. “Y/N, I think I know why you freaked out on Jensen so bad.”

“How would the doctor know that over the phone?” asked your dad.

“There’s a recall out on a certain allergy medication warning people not to take it according to this headline,” said TJ. 

“Why would-”

“It’s not allergy medicine. It’s an antipsychotic drug. They mixed up the pills during manufacturing. Apparently if you give those to people that don’t need them, it fucks with their heads,” said TJ.

“You take them too,” you said as TJ nodded, your dad quiet. “Dad you and mom do-“

“I think we all better go to the hospital and get checked out. Right now.”

“How do you feel?” asked your mom a few hours later.

“My head feels normal again,” you sighed from your hospital bed. You opened your eyes, her hand running over your head. “Did I fuck it up. With dad. I think I broke it. That thing we had and it’s never going to fix back the same way.”

“You were on a very strong antipsychotic without you knowing. We are lucky all you had was some anger and a few delusions. It could have been much worse,” she said. “Daddy’s not mad, sweetie.”

“Mom I’ve never seen him like that. I was so…”

“Wasn’t just you,” he said as he rounded the corner into the room. He was out of his clothes and in a pair of pants and a plain t shirt now, holding up the bracelet on his wrist. “Why’d I have to get all the crying? I would have rather have been pissed off like you got.”

“Your test came back positive?” asked your mom.

“Yeah. So far that’s Y/N, me, TJ, Cody. The younger kids don’t seem to have it thankfully since they take the kid version. They want you to get tested though,” he said.

“But mom’s been normal,” you said as you sat up.

“Well…” he said as she rolled her eyes. “Mom’s been a little...aggressive in-”

“Don’t need to know,” you said. He chuckled and he took a seat on the opposite bed, your mom heading out. They hooked him up to an IV to clear out his system and he took a seat beside you on the bed. You looked down, getting a bump on the shoulder. His hand as on his lap, palm facing up and you smiled.

“Thatta girl,” he said as you rested yours in it. “Gonna take more than some antipsychotics to tear us apart.”

“You are the greatest foster father I’ve ever had and arguably the kindest human being I’ve ever known,” you said. He was quiet and you took a deep breath, looking across the room. “You protected me, even when you were being affected by this. I want you to forget everything I’ve said from Halloween night on. It wasn’t true. Not a second of it.”

“Was the daddy part true?” he asked. “The accident.”

“I expect you to protect me when TJ’s not around. I expect it when he is too to be honest. I spent a long time protecting myself. I was scared on that road. You couldn’t protect me. You couldn’t protect me from watching you almost die. I know how life works and that parents are not invulnerable. They get hurt. They get angry. They make mistakes. They’re human. But I’ll always be your child and on a rare occasion, I’ll need my fucking daddy to tell me it’s okay and I’ll believe him. I’m sorry for hurting him so badly.”

“You are still as ridiculous as the day you walked in your room and told me not to bother with you,” he said, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You can hurt me. You can destroy me. You can ruin me beyond repair. You’re the only thing that puts me back together though. Heals the wounds so I forget they existed. I’ve been broken before. More than you know. I am sure I will fall apart again too. But these small creatures I call my children fix all of that. The girl who ran away, who was afraid of me, she just told me I make her feel safe. I protect her. So I’m sorry but I won’t forgive you since there’s nothing to forgive. You weren’t yourself and neither was I yet you still pushed past it and realized this wasn’t normal for us. Maybe some people fight and some families would have let it go but we know we don’t stop trying in this family. Even when we’re all a little off. I’m proud of you.”

“For what?” you said quietly. He fixed your hair again, playing with it for a moment. He tickled the back of your ear and you giggled. “Dad.”

“Giggles never hurt either,” he said. He threw his arm over your shoulders and pulled you in close, kissing the top of your head. “You’re not that scared kid anymore, Y/N. You’re never gonna be her again. You’re strong. Even now, I know this will bother you for a little while but it won’t change anything. We’ll be even better if that’s possible.”

“You were begging me at the house,” you said.

“Could have gotten that new bronco you’ve been looking at. Sounds like you lost out,” he chuckled.

“Dork,” you said as you hugged him.

“I’m sorry for how I acted that night at the bar too. I’ll never do it again. I promise to not leave your side if you ever call me for help. Not for a second.”

“Dad you don’t have to apologize.”

“I’m bigger than you. I get to force this apology,” he said. “Am I forgiven?”

“Always,” you said. You saw a guy go past in the hall and you went wide eyed. “That’s the guy from the alley!”

“Hey,” said your dad with a smile as you got up. He walked out with his IV, you on his tail as the guy turned around with his doctor. The man looked at you and shook his head. “You’re the dickhead that tried to hurt my daughter aren’t you? I thought that was you.”

“Ew,” you said, looking at the infected cut on his head. Your dad moved forward and you caught his arm. “Um, maybe we can call the police?” 

A security guard at the nurse’s station got up and the man sighed, your dad narrowing his eyes.

“I was only gonna kill him a little,” he said. The man stared and your dad cocked his head. “I’m hopped up on anti-psychotics buddy. I can be very creative.”

“Dad,” you said, dragging him back into the room. “Let the police handle it.”

“I did get a little too happy about fantasizing over that,” he said as he sat down. You rolled your eyes and took a seat, laying back on the bed.

“Am I too big for a cuddle?” you asked.

“Nope, especially not in the hospital,” he said. He sat back and you rested your head on his shoulder. “Where is that husband of yours anyways?”

“I think he’s on the phone with the lawyer trying to sue or something,” you said. “Let him wander the halls and get it out of his system.”

“Excuse me?” You both turned to look at the door. “Hi. I’m Morris Harrison with Richmond...Solider Boy?”

“Homelander?” you said as Morris shook his head. “Uh, hi?”

“Hi. I uh, I’m a lawyer at Richmond and Associates and we’re working the class action against the pharmaceutical manufacturer. I got a call about more cases,” he said, handing over a business card. 

“We’ll be getting the family lawyer in contact with you rest assured,” said your dad. He nodded and looked away. “You okay?”

“Morris this is my dad, Jensen. Dad this is the nice boy from the bar you shouted at,” you said.

“To be fair, I was mentally impaired...and I mean come on, Homelander? Gotta be careful of those,” he smirked. 

“I was actually gonna be…” he said, shaking his head. “Sorry.”

“You and Kayla were gonna be Sam and Dean! Oh yeah. Now I remember,” you said. 

“I like the new friend,” chuckled your dad.

“I’ll see you guys around sometime. Maybe a little less drinking this time?” said Morris.

“Yeah. Text TJ. We’ll get together,” you said. “Oh. I gotta ask. How’d the Kayla situation work out?”

“We have our sixth date tonight,” he said. You grinned and he rolled his eyes. “You’re alright drunk girl.”

“Later Homelander,” you said with a wave as he left.

“He was nice,” said your dad. “Did I really shout at him?”

“Yeah. I think he’s a fan so thank you for being nicer this time,” you said. 

“Well...at least you made a few new friends out of this experience?” he said. “Silver lining?”

“I will take a quiet, happy day for now,” you said.

“Me too, kiddo.”

Three Days Later

It was after ten when you slipped inside your parents house. It was a little dark, your siblings all at sleepovers. You poked your head around a corner, your dad in the kitchen mixing two cocktails together. He lifted his head up, cocking his head.

“Y/N?” he asked as you stepped out from around the corner. “What are you doing here?”

“I know you and mom got the house to yourselves so I’ll only be a minute,” you said. 

“Uh, what?” he said as you walked over and gave him a hug. He returned it and ran his hand over your head. “Y/N. I know you didn’t mean what you said. You can stop apologizing. Please.”

“I know,” you said. 

“Alright then,” he said. “I’ll take free hugs anytime.”

“Dad.”

“Yeah?” he asked as you squeezed him hard. He returned it and you smirked as you looked up. “What are you up to?”

“Can I show you something?” you asked. He nodded and you pulled him with you towards your old room, back to being one for guests. You walked him inside and sat him down on the bed as he watched you. You went over to the closet and turned on the light reaching up top into a shoe box. You took it down and walked it over, handing it to him.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“My dad’s kinda sappy and he writes me these letters,” you said. He rolled his eyes but smiled, putting his hands on top. “I started writing back. I put them in this box and figured one day you’d find them. But I know it wouldn’t hurt for you to maybe peek a look now after everything.”

He nodded and smiled, freezing when he took off the lid.

“Y/N...how many letters is this?”

“A boxful?” you said. “I maybe write them with more...frequency than he does. They are dated and hopefully in order.”

He picked out the first one and shut his eyes. You bit your bottom lip and he took a deep breath.

“This is from four days after your seventeenth birthday.”

“Every time I went to therapy I wrote one. Some are for mom but your names are on the envelopes.”

“Why does this one say dad?” he asked, holding up the first one. “I wasn’t dad for years.”

“Oh we both know you were my father the first day I stepped foot in here,” you said. “I could pretend to a piece of paper. It was safe. It wouldn’t hurt me. I started calling you dad in my head a very long time ago. I just didn’t say it in case you didn’t want me to be your daughter in the end.”

He put the envelope back in the box and carefully put the lid on, tucking it by his side. He wiped off his face with the back of his hands and looked up at you.

“Next month you turn twenty eight. You’ll have been with us for a hair over eleven years. This last year...the accident...TJ and his dad...now this...you’re the adult more lately than I am.”

“Dad I’m almost twenty eight like you said. But my head still feels...younger. You’re fifty one. But you still probably think of yourself as a twenty year old kid.”

“You are learning the secrets of adulthood after all,” he said, wiping off his face again. “Y/N...I have this fear when it comes to you. It’s only you. I understand why. But it’s a fear I’ve lived with for quite a long time. It’s a fear I thought came true earlier in the week.”

“She was a bitch that didn’t know better.”

“Don’t call yourself a bitch,” he said, sounding young, shaking his head. “You’ve always been tougher than me. I put on a good act but I’m...I’m privileged and I’ve had an easy life and even that seems hard sometimes. I couldn’t be you. I’m not strong enough. I’m not strong enough to erase the fear that I had, that lingered.”

“What are you afraid of?” you asked as you sat down on the bed.

“I have always loved you. But there was a time you didn’t love me and it took a while before it was unconditional. I’ve always had this fear that I would fuck up and hurt you, make you not love me anymore and that’s selfish of me. I know it is. But I can’t lose you. It just...I was broken last week. Like somebody ripped part of my soul out and it was gone forever. I’ve dealt with grief and death and heartbreak and nothing has ever hurt like that. The drugs did all that I know but...I would have done anything to get you back. Anything. And this girl, this amazing young woman, she writes me letters. She’s been writing me letters for eleven years. I never had to be afraid of you either, did I.”

“No,” you said. “But it’s okay. Boys are allowed to get scared too.”

“Your parents did a pretty good job with you,” he said.

“Yes. I think the four of them did too,” you said.

“I didn’t raise you.”

“Yes you did,” you said. You shoved a hand in your pocket and pulled out an envelope, handing it to him. 

“Another for the box?” he asked.

“I already snuck today’s in there,” you said. “This is different.”

“What is it?”

“Just open it.” He untucked the flap and laughed, pulling out the sheet of paper. “TJ thought it was cute.”

“An IOU to tag along whenever I’d like when you go out drinking,” he chuckled. “I’m gonna need several hundred more of these while you’re at it.”

“How about like three?” you said.

“I will settle for you calling me if you think you’re in trouble,” he said. You nodded and he rested his head on your shoulder. “Even drugged up you still did that.”

“Well, the drugs didn’t kick in really until that night. Having allergies sucks,” you said. “You get the runny nose and itchy eyes and the crazy stuff. So not fun.”

“Nope,” he said, giving you a hug. “I was totally gonna have sex with mom all night but now I got all these letters to read.”

“Oh God, gross,” you said, shuddering as you stood up. He laughed and lay back on the bed, giggling as you shook yourself off. “I don’t need to hear about your nasty sex life.”

“I have an incredible sex life. Like so much-”

“Goodbye father,” you said as you walked out of the room.

“You don’t even want to know how often if I’m being honest,” he said as you walked quickly to the front door. He cracked up and you groaned. “Night, kiddo.”

“Night, dad. Enjoy your letters.”

You woke up around three in the morning, rolling over in bed and catching a few texts on your phone. You lifted your head and saw they were from your dad, a smile growing across your face.

I read the last letter first. All I gotta say is you never have to worry about me going away, no matter how much you scream and shout. You’re stuck with me forever, kiddo. Not even strong medication can tear that apart. Nothing can. 

Also, for the record, I get to be the sap in this relationship, not you. Box full of cards. Do you know how hard it is to one up that? Do you? Keeping me on my toes kid. I’m sure I’ll come up with something though.

Love you tall munchkin.

“Something wrong?” mumbled TJ. You put your phone down and shook your head.

“Not at all,” you said. You tucked in close to his side, TJ rolling to his own and tucking your head under his chin. He hummed and rubbed your arm, kissing the top of your head. “Love you.”

“Love you too, honey.”

________

A/N: Read the Dads timestamp here!

[glitterandgoldrush]

someone asked for my live-blogging reaction to oouil tv, so i have put it under the cut with a more complete explanation of how i felt overall as well!

ep1:

okay so it’s definitely super different

sassy maeve, i love it

eggs instead of a car crash? i guess it’s bc they wrote out luis

addy finding jake on her own and cooper not helping 😭😭 why are we getting rid of all of cooper’s kind scenes

cooper and keely have a secret? and why does cooper seem so completely unaffected what

bronwyn and nate are so flirty right off the bat wow

bronwyn stole simon’s laptop?? what the fuck. this is so totally different

also no drinking scene with bron & nate :(

janae getting a Storyline and going after addy right away ?? why would she do that if she’s guilty her whole thing was wanting to stay away from them until addy basically forced herself into her life

totally weird side note: but not how i’ve been pronouncing nate’s last name this whole time

also just totally noticed that they skipped over everyone else also having fake phones?

OH and cooper is super new, moved here last year

COOPER’S SEALED RECORD IM SORRY WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHY WHY WHY WOULD COOPER HAVE A RECORD

ahh here’s the florence + the machine thing everyone was talking about

bronwyn’s a terrible liar oh my god 😭

“sucks for your dad” line literally made me lol

LUCAS AND NONNY YES THANK YOU

wait shut the fUCK UP LUCAS KNOWS THAT COOPER IS GAY I LOVE THIS 😭😭

SHUT UP KEELY KNOWS I LOVE THIS

“i won’t waste this arm on that shit” get em cooper lol

addy and tj ooooFT

addy taking anti anxiety medication is definitely something she should’ve been doing in the books lol i also love the fixation on her hair

maeve continuing to be Sassy as fuck and i love it

is nate’s aussie accent super obvious to anyone else ?

THATS HOW YOU PRONOUNCE SIMON’S LAST NAME??

janae’s speech lowkey iconic even though they’re both the worst

HER SINGING LILY ALLEN. I WONT LIE, I DID LAUGH 😭😭 so fucking weird

also “it’s not okay to be gay” but it is okay to our people :) man janae c’mon you’re not seeing any of the irony here?

this tribute is so much worse than the books like how disrespectful jesus. i know simon was the Worst but yiiiiikes this was hard to watch

OH MY GOD OHMYGOD OH MY GOD THE POST

kris 🥺🥺

the missing laptop? ruh roh shaggy

ep 2:

oh addy being insecure 🥺

lol what the fuck jake is so manipulative i hate that i find them cute in this scene 😭😭😭

run cooper run

KRIS 🥺🥺🥺 A SPEAKING ROLE

i had to stop this scene bc i was stressed that they’re gonna ruin their relationship

pls let me see one scene of him comforting coop. one scene and i will be content

ooft bronwyn is just as brutal in this as she is in the books

LMAO kris and cooper swapping briefs iconic

are these eps gonna be like specifically character based? this definitely feels like an addy episode

lmao cooper “wouldn’t be the first time police out evidence where they needed it to be” go off king

addy loves to make herself look guilty “saw it on the food network” love u baby

BRONWYN AND NATE HOLDING HANDS THANK U MAAM

bronwyn immediately throwing addy under the bus wHY

cooper “WhAt?” sir 😭 are we surprised

also the capsule idea is excellent to really heighten the tension of in the room right here right now

oh no not cooper and his dad being so good :(

addy’s mom is so invasive i hate her

simon being the mayor’s kid ooft

bronwyn stop accusing addy challenge

“and i’ll be a mom…but a good one” BREAKING MY HEART ADS

noooooooo cooper embarrassed as hell 😪

NOOOOO KRIS NOT KNOWING THAT COOPER IS IN HIGH SCHOOL WHAT WHAT WHAT

im actually so sad about this, in the books cooper never lies to kris he’s literally the only person that he’s honest with, and that’s kinda?? a huge point??? of his character???

simon’s mom being so disrespectful to his literal only friend AHAHAHA wtf

keep on lowkey forgetting that this is an adaption bc it’s so different like 100 plot twists that didn’t exist before

addy hiding under that bed gave me so much anxiety it made me feel sick omg

“his love of his friends” babe what friends

maeve and janae ooft interesting

“best food” LMAO MAEVE i love u

addy and cooper sniping at each other no pls my chaos twins 🥺🥺🥺

keely and cooper are so sweet 😭😭

OH NO KEELY KNOWS HE’S GAY BUT DOESNT KNOW HES HOOKING UP WITH KRIS THIS IS BAD

addy and jake are getting my heart POUNDING RN POUNDING I AM STRESSED I AM S T R E S S E D

jake’s cast perfectly. i am terrified of this man: absolutely flawless casting

cooper’s so sarcastic i love him

“…in the kitchen” iconic lmao

OOOFT addy admitting it 😭 this made me emotional

COOPER AND ADDY THANK YOU FINALLY 🥺🥺🥺🥺

coop and kris part two let’s goooooo

oh my god are they gonna make it look like it was maeve 😭

honestly,,, maeve is a really good suspect i never actually considered that before lol

ep3

“i’m gonna fix it” no ur not baby

they’re doing a very very good job at keeping the suspense of one of them doing it up, by this point in the book everyone kinda knew it wasn’t one of the four but here it’s much more ambiguous

the soda anecdote is my favourite 😭😭

tj is so sweet but i’m praying they don’t make them end up together pls let addy have her independence arc

OH SHIT THEM BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER

him hurting coop wtf sir

oh no not this happening in front of everyone oh no oh NO

but also jake was way calmer in the books

vanessa SUUUUUUUCKS

OH MY GOD NATES SECRET IS SO MUCH MORE INTENSE

maeve lmaoooo i love u

“don’t u think nate could have done it” WHY WOULD NATE EXPOSE HIS OWN SECRET THIS PLOT HOLE ANNOYS ME SO MUCH as soon as their secret is exposed it basically excludes them from being the killer

LMAO NATE AND ADDY I LOVE IT

“i could literally kill” “another thing you should keep to yourself” PLEASE 😭😭

COOPER STOP YELLING PLEASE i don’t GET why they’ve made these choices

thank YOU ADDY EXACTLY my point about the secret

maeve’s nosebleed oh my god oh my god

lmao oh NO bronwyn knows about the laptop

bronwyn really turned on her sister like 0.2 seconds flat

COOPER YES THANK U

maeve was friends with simon?!! what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

oh no coopers secret fuck

also cooper hurting his shoulder NO

ugh i knew they would make kris buy from nate that’s so out of his character

seems weird that they wouldn’t have had this conversation earlier??? uhh tell me why they don’t know each other at all

maeve being a Good Sister

ooooh the phones make their first appearance

why is cooper so aggressive that’s so out of character did they forget he’s literally supposed to be sunshine boy

why would jake defend addy lol he’s supposed to egg on the drama

ahhh addy and janae bathroom scene iconicccc

“you suck like 20% less” lmao janae do not make me like you

WHY would maeve be friends with simon i do not get the direction we have taken here

WHY WOULD MAEVE BE IN LOVE WITH SIMON I DO NOT GET THE DIRECTION WE HAVE TAKEN HERE

????????????????????????? IM GENUINELY BAFFLED I AM LOST I AM CONFUSED

okay so?? addy & bronwyn are the only characters that are staying true to the books let’s be honest

oooft maeve call her out let’s go

oh my god cooper and nate friends?? it’s sweet.

wait coopers mom is dead in this

cooper and nate FRIENDS 🥺🥺🥺

KRIS KRIS KRIS KRIS

FUCK i am stressed for cooper rn oh my good god

kris wearing glasses oh cute

oh no poor baby is so hurt and stressed i’m 😭

DAMN STRAIGHT COOPER HE IS A SAD PATHETIC BULLY WHEN YOURE RIGHT YOURE RIGHT

GET EM BABY LETS GO POP OFF K I N G 91 MPH LETS GO

“i did it” oh shit

“i would fail and that just wasn’t an option” relatable tbh

her parents suck lol

cooper is so happy i’m stressed to my core he’s gonna get caught with pain killers i can’t be having it

OH NO OH NO KEELY AND KRIS IS THERE AND OH SHIT OH NO

NOT KRIS CRYING HOLD ON IM i gasped

“and your dad knows too” CAN U PLS GIVE HIM A FUCKING BREAK KRIS ITS LITERALLY A PLOT POINT IN THE BOOKS THAT KRIS NEVER PRESSURES HIM TO COME OUT I AM M A D

detective is gonna out cooper i will fight to the death this bitch

nate and bronwyn here we GO

OVERALL

look, it’s enjoyable. i think the actors are great, and theyre certainly really talented. i think addy and bronwyn are the best adapted, though even then they have some moments that make me think “wtf” like bronwyn stealing the laptop, and jake not being half as aggressive as he’s supposed to be

i like cooper’s storyline with his family & keely, although it’s obviously completely different from the books & takes away from how totally closeted he was there. i’m really torn, i like his character, but i like him as like, someone completely different from book!cooper, because i feel like apart from baseball, they barely have anything in common? cooper doesn’t lie to kris, he wouldn’t approach nate for drugs, he wouldn’t get aggressive with him either, and the closest he ever gets to accusing anyone is saying that peanut oil is a “weird kind of coincidence”. i knew it would be different but it’s very, very different. i guess i just have to get used to it? also kris is just not even close to being the same i mean he’s not a model, he’s not german, he doesn’t know about keely?? cooper says in the book that kris would “never force him to come out” or make him feel bad about it, but it’s like the first thing we see kris do. which is understandable in his situation, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just not at all what he’s like in the books

maeve’s storyline is,, a decision and i don’t understand why she would be friends with simon when her whole entire thing in the book is being grossed out by him

OKAY so concludingly, let me be clear, i do LIKE it. i think it’s fun and it’s interesting and the actors are great. obviously i’m being hypercritical in this bc i’m comparing it to the books. thats not to say there isn’t things i liked bc there definitely definitely is! but i’m also now looking at it as something completely separate from oouil bc apart from the primary plot points, there’s basically nothing in common

[tendertenebrosity]

Next instalment of TJ and Danny’s story, set in @wildfaewhump‘s Pathverse! Direct sequel to here , you should go read that first! Masterpost can be found here. 

Danny took the next exit, without even bothering to read the signs. It wasn’t as if he had a goal in mind, not anymore – if he couldn’t go to Julie’s Agency there was no point driving to her city.

He was going to have to stop soon and decide what to do. But if he just kept driving, he could put off needing to make that call for just a little longer.

The outskirts of the city slid by his window. He tried to just drive, thinking as little as possible. Trying to keep his grip on the wheel steady but not white-knuckled, trying not to let his breathing speed up and up and up until he was leaning forward in his seat and accidentally roaring along at 20 over the speed limit.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

What was he going to do?

You’re really in the shit now, Danny, he told himself. Why did you call her? Why did you think she’d understand? Before this last year, before this endless slog through court case after violent court case, melt-downs and seizures, hospitalisations and Class-A memory ‘treatments’, picking right back up and going to work again afterwards, watching TJ get thinner and shakier and more threadbare every week without ever being capable of understanding why but still quieting under Danny’s touch like it actually meant something…

Danny wouldn’t’ve understood either.

He flicked the radio on, blaring voices spouting something inane. He jumped stations a few times, looking for something with music. He found something that sounded like country, listened to that for a minute or two, before flicking it off again in annoyance.

Of course Julie didn’t understand, because this was flat-out crazy, and Danny knew it. He didn’t know how it had come to this. What had he been thinking? What did he think he was achieving? This had been a mistake, from start to finish.  

“Um. Handler? Danny?”

The white line on the road jerked and veered wildly in front of Danny as he swore, curbing the impulse to whip around and look behind him.

Fucking hell. Keep it together enough to drive, will you?

He spared a glance in the mirror. Sure enough, the Path was sitting up, looking small and hunched and incongruously clean in the grubby back seat of Danny’s old car. His thin pale fingers clutched at the black seatbelt.

“Jesus, kid,” Danny snapped.

“Sorry,” TJ whispered. “Sorry, I’ll – I’ll be quiet, I’m sorry...”

“No, I - ” Danny breathed out heavily through his nose, made his hands relax on the wheel. The way TJ was lately, Danny couldn’t raise his voice without the poor sod thinking he’d done something wrong. The way he cringed from the nurses, from other handlers, from Danny himself sometimes - it made Danny think hard, vicious things about whoever had been assigned to him before.

How could I have just gone on to the next job and left him there?

He tried to make his voice light. “No, kid, not your fault,” he said. “You just, uh, startled me. Didn’t mean to wake you, we’re hours away from where we’re going yet.” For God’s sake don’t ask me where that is, I don’t fucking know.

“I was awake,” the Path said, a wispy thread of voice from the backseat. “Um. Danny?”

Danny grunted to show he was listening.

“Are you really stealing me?”

Damn it.

“How much did you hear of that?” Danny asked, his stomach sinking. He’d thought TJ was safely asleep. Idiot.

“Um. All of it,” TJ said. “You said – Danny, you said – why do you think someone’s going to kill me?”

“I – well, because…” This was stupid. Why was Danny floundering for words in front of a Path? Danny could only catch the occasional glimpse of the Path in his mirror, and blindfolded TJ wasn’t capable of looking at anything, but still he had to fight back the feeling that TJ was looking at him accusingly.

“Because you’re sick,” he settled on eventually. He blinked hard at the wavering road in front of him, resettled his grip on the steering wheel. “And… and you’ll get better if you have time, TJ, but they don’t want to give you that time. Because it isn’t… ” The end of the sentence died in his throat. Because everyone’s too busy. Because there’s a contract. Because you’re not important enough.

Because it isn’t cost-efficient.

“Did they tell you that?”

“No,” Danny said. “I just… I can see how it’s going to go. That’s all.”

“Oh.” TJ’s voice was thin, quiet. He shifted, overlarge scrubs rustling. “So… so that’s why you’re stealing me?”

Danny winced. “I’m not – TJ, stop saying that. I’m taking you to a different Agency where you’ll be taken care of properly. It’ll all be okay, all right?”

Danny wished the Path hadn’t overheard. He wished this conversation could have held off until they’d stopped; he couldn’t assess the Path’s body language. Fuck, Julie had said that word, described this as ‘stealing’, and maybe now it had stuck in TJ’s head.

He wondered what the hell went on in that head sometimes; how did a Path see the world? Not how normal people did, clearly. Obviously a Path wasn’t really capable of understanding right and wrong, and the law, and morality. But... TJ had seemed to understand a lot of the things he’d read for the court. He definitely understood what ‘stealing’ meant.  

Danny was half waiting for TJ to challenge him on it. They’d worked a case a few weeks ago, theft of a car and some power tools – perhaps TJ was now going to ask Danny what made this any different, why they’d helped send that person to jail but now Danny was taking off with Agency property.

Danny sighed. No, you idiot, he thought, exasperated with himself. Poor fucking kid’s probably a bit preoccupied with the whole ‘they’ll kill you’ thing. Pull your head out of your ass.

In the end TJ said neither of those things, though.

“You’re still going to be in… in a lot of trouble,” he said instead.

Danny laughed, a harsh, coughing noise that surprised him. “Yeah, kid, probably.”

“What if you can’t find another Agency?” TJ sounded calm, reasonable.

Danny resisted the urge to swear. It’s a good fucking question, isn’t it? “Don’t worry,” he said. “It’s… it’ll be fine. It’s not your problem to worry about, kid, so just - ”

Danny’s phone rang.

The sound filled up the car, irritatingly cheerful electronic trilling. Danny knew who that would be; didn’t even need to look at the display. TJ subsided into silence. Danny drummed his gloved fingers on the wheel, gritted his teeth, wished he had a cigarette or a coffee or fucking something to calm himself down with.

If Danny really intended to make a run for it, he ought to throw that phone out the window and keep on driving, he knew. People could track you with those things.

But keep on driving to where? In the end, Danny didn’t have any real idea what he was doing. And the only one around to talk to in this car was a Path.

So he took a hand off the wheel and hit the button that answered the phone.

“Danny,” Julie said, her voice filled with relief. “Thanks for picking up.”

Danny made a noncommittal noise.

“Danny, where are you?”

He glanced around. Danny hadn’t driven in this area much; he didn’t know what the street was called, or even really what suburb he was in. Not much in the way of signs to help him out, either. But did that matter? He might have answered the phone, but Danny wasn’t at the point where he was willing to give Julie either of those things.

“You’re sending people out after me,” he accused her. “The cops, or, or an Agency acquisition van.”

“Danny, I want to help you, I - ”

“If you wanted to help me you could have heard me out,” he snapped. “But you’re not going to, I can fucking tell.”

“Hey, you’re the one who hung up on me, remember?”

“Yeah, cause you weren’t listening to me!” Danny said. The scenery sped by, a patchwork of industrial-looking squat concrete blocks of buildings and what looked to be neglected empty land, filled with scrubby trees and patchy fields that were more weeds than grass. He tried to keep his voice down, keep calm, but it grated and wobbled in his ears regardless. “You didn’t have any intention of helping me with TJ, you just lied to me to shut me up when you said you would fix it.”

Julie was better at lying than she’d been before, but the seam was still visible to Danny. The point where she had just started agreeing with anything he said in an attempt to get him to do what she wanted.

“No, Danny,” she protested. “Look, Danny, I just – I don’t know this Path, okay, I don’t know what your situation is, but I want to help you. So if you want to talk about the Path, okay, let’s talk. I’m listening.”

“Talk about….” Danny glanced up to the mirror. At TJ still sitting there, turning his head this way and that.  Making Danny think vaguely of a baby bird, head too big for its little neck. Listening to everything they were both saying. “Look, he’s not dangerous or anything.”

“Okay. Danny, is… is TJ…” Julie’s voice hushed, suddenly, as if she was talking about something obscene. “Danny, are we talking about the child of someone you know? Or your child? Because…”

“Wh- No!” Danny yelped. He took his eyes off the road to gape, horrified, at Julie’s name on the display for a moment. The car wavered underneath him and he dragged his eyes back up.  

That was… a thought. Jesus Christ. It had somehow never occurred to him. Danny wasn’t anywhere near the point in his life where he’d be contemplating babies, but even so – even so – how had he never thought of that? That if he did, there was a non-zero chance they might be…

“I’m talking about an adult Path,” he said, to Julie, forcefully. “Not a child. He’s not related to me in any form. He’s my Path from work, just a regular assigned… fuck, you know what I mean!”

“Uh huh,” Julie said cautiously. She sounded relieved; papers shuffled again, and Danny suspected he could hear her typing something. “All right. What class is he?”

Danny let out a breath, trying to calm down. “E,” he said. “We worked in, um, Criminal Justice. The courtroom mostly, sometimes the police station.” He chewed his lip, considered and rejected two or three different sentence beginnings. “It’s fucking hard work, OK? It’s difficult, the readings are always long, and it’s bloody dark stuff sometimes, and they never….”  

“Class E? OK,” Julie said, gently. “Where is, um, TJ now, Danny?”

“He’s here,” Danny said, exasperated. “I can see him right now, okay, he’s still got his blindfold on and he’s in the back seat and he’s not causing any trouble. He’s never caused any trouble, even though he’s been treated like shit.”  

“He’s in the back? He can’t touch you?”

“What? No?” Danny glanced in the mirror. Still just a puzzled TJ, seatbelt done up, eyes covered, hands in his lap.

“Okay, good.” Julie started speaking rapidly, urgently. “Danny, I really really need you to pull up by the road and wait for me. Okay? You’re not going to understand why, but we did this in training, right, so I need you to trust me. You’re probably confused and that’s okay…”

“What?”

“Danny, you know that Paths can affect people’s minds - ”

“You think he got to me? You think that’s what this is about?” Danny shook his head, bottling up the stream of swearwords that wanted to escape. Julie thought that TJ was somehow making Danny do this? TJ, visibly upset by the change in routine, shaking and frightened at getting into a slightly different car, who’d been in a hospital bed with tubes everywhere and dried blood all over his face just a week ago? “You’re wrong. Dead wrong. How would that even - ”

“I know that what you’re doing probably makes perfect sense to you now,” Julie interrupted, her voice somehow managing to be both soothing and urgent. “You just have to trust me that it doesn’t, Danny, okay? You can’t rely on your instincts now.”

“Fuck’s sake, Julie - ”

“Nothing is the way it seems. It’s not your fault. You’re in the presence of a Path; they get into your head, they can make you think or feel whatever they - ”

Danny growled in frustration. He hauled on the steering wheel, hand over hand awkwardly, to navigate a turn. “Julie, cut the crap! Trying your scaremongering bullshit on me like I’m some clueless layperson? He never fucking touched me, and he’s fucking E, he’s not even capable of that!”

“Danny, you may not know as much about him as you think you do,” Julie insisted. Some of the cool soothing quality frayed away from her voice. “Come on! I know it’s hard but think. You know why we take the precautions we do, you know the damage that can be done! It’s not your fault, you’re confused. Once you tell me where you are - ”

“I’m not confused,”Danny snapped. He felt sick. If this was what Julie thought, there was no chance of this turning out all right. Not within any Agency. It didn’t make sense but had that ever mattered to Agency management? “I’ve never been confused.”

“- once I know where you are I can help you, okay? We can sort it all out, for you and TJ both, it will all - ”

“Sort it out!” Danny snarled. “Oh, yeah, sure you fucking will! I know how you’ll sort TJ out!”

“Danny - ”

“This is bullshit! I’m not going back to your goddamn cold-blooded, two-faced – uh- ”

Danny caught his breath. The metal barrier that lined the road, painted with yellow chevrons, was coming up fast – way too fast.

Fuck, there was a turn, he hadn’t seen -

He slammed his foot onto the brake pedal and wrenched the wheel to the left; metal grated and squealed in protest.  The car was sliding – Danny’s seatbelt was digging painfully into his ribs as the world swung back and forth violently, and he realised in the half-second he had that the car was fish-tailing as it hurtled towards the metal barrier and the downward slope that lay beyond.

Somewhere in the background, Julie’s voice was asking something, pitched high with concern, but it was drowned out by the screeching of tires and the sound of TJ’s frightened yell from the backseat.

Danny’s car hit the barrier, and the world rolled over and over on itself in a sickening whirl that ended with a metallic crunch.

[calypsoff2]

Eight. Part 3

TJ keeps laughing at me and the name of the Whiskey, but I can’t help that this shit is bougie “I’m still stuck on Robb being Muslim? Like he cut that bacon shit out and everything? He really changed? Like really changed” nodding my head, I thought I would stay out for a few more “he called me, and he just said I’m sorry, thinking back on it you are my little cousin, you respected me and looked to me and I played on that, I feel like a dickhead, I took advantage of that. You needed money, I should have just gave it. I believe him. I just think it’s wrong of me to not give when I have it; their home they were losing so I was like I’ll sort it, just a few payments here and there. So anyways, forget my shit. How is shit is going on with you? Mel want you?” TJ shrugged “not even sure bro, either I’m playing games, or she is playing games. I don’t even get it anymore, we have sex. Things are good for that but like what the fuck is happening with being together, I feel like she is basing herself on Robyn. Like why won’t she tell her, she won’t speak to her about shit, you know? But yeah, she is moving slow. I still think you married Robyn quick” stretching my body out “wouldn’t you” I retorted “I wouldn’t, she’s a little psycho. I’m sorry bro, she is too much. She got you bad, like anything she says goes, you know? Even now, that shit is your money too hit because Robyn doesn’t like it we have to stop. Why is it you couldn’t tell her? Because she is unreasonable, you ain’t. When we went VA for Camron birthday that time, you didn’t have to help Seiko, I surely wasn’t but you did. That’s because you’re a good guy, these rich girls aren’t it, and if she is a billionaire soon? Good luck” sighing out “she is a good person, she is just strict, on god she is” I get what TJ is saying but that’s my wife, I love her.

TJ and I will end being drunk by the time we are done “what you going to tell her? She is sly for that, I bet she is going to search more than the accounts now, she is going to be on your ass. You know what women are like, now because you made that mistake she will pick on that, she will want to find out what Black Pyramid is doing for you to do that, don’t you ever think I could just do better?” That is a big question, I blew out air “not exactly, bro. She gives me good sex” he snorted laughing “you always say that shit, Mel is the same. She is wild, I think it’s a Caribbean thing. They really be giving that good good, she is doing everything” my eyes widened “everything?” I repeated “everything, I’m talking about every hole” I laughed “damn, that was quick. I think Mel gives it easy on a real. She falls quick, you know what I mean?” Looking over at him “don’t be talking on Mel like that; but I get it. She came into my DMs but yeah, so we taking bets? Your wife will be gone by the new year?” Holding my hand out, we shook on it “bet” I know she will be “you ever thought of cheating? Because if she wasn’t so busy she would be around, you could cheat and she wouldn’t know” shaking my head “nah, Robyn’ good in the bed. She is too good; I love my twin too much. No matter how much she pisses me off, or how much she just does the most. That’s my twin, I love her. But I am more giving then she is, Robyn would always say no. Cheating is just off the board, cheating means I was unhappy which I am not that, just annoyed” I shrugged, I couldn’t do that ever in my life. I am crazy for her, also my girls. It’s not worth losing my home for some pussy, isn’t worth it at all “imagine if you didn’t meet Rihanna again? Imagine it, on a real. Imagine if you didn’t go and meet her?” I cringed “probably be on sonnumber three” I laughed “Seiko wanted kids and shit was smooth, it was, and I can’t lie but I wasn’t fulfilled. I had to know if twin still knew me but if we bring real, if it wasn’t Robyn then I wouldn’t be rich like this, I think I am becoming accustomed to being her husband, fuck it” I shrugged “this is why she has your balls” I laughed shrugging.

I’m too far now, I’m going to have to leave my car here. I can’t be driving now, but I guess I get to just carry on. I’m on cocktails now which isn’t any better, but I missed my nigga “you met her ex right?” TJ asked, “Which one?” I questioned, he hit my arm and laughed out “Rakim? What else? I don’t know about the rest” letting out an oh “yeah, yeah I did. You know that, shit was wild though, like she be on this vibe where she was so excited about designing his suit. So we went to New York, arrived there together. I wasn’t going to let my wife go there alone now, I didn’t know what I was going to expect but she kept saying we are friends, and I am so exited and whatever the fuck she on. So it’s me and her entourage, you know her team like to be there” rolling my eyes “so we arrived at the joint, I walked in behind Robyn and Rakim was there and I am like this nigga is tiny” I laughed “but he erm came up to Robyn and she did, she hugged him and they genuinely was happy to see each other but the vibe wasn’t off, like when I see Seiko she be on it” I laughed “she always asking if I want her back but with them it was good vibes and I was awkward, I was stood there like this is weird. That is her ex, you know so I just stood there and then he came up to me, he dapped me and said nice meeting you, I am Rakim, and it was all good. But I see the vibe, I see why they vibed together on a real. Rakim said it to me, he goes she is a friend, and I don’t want to lose that, she is a good woman” I shrugged “but you two are friends too? Maybe that is the same for y’all” I chuckled “you think? Robyn is like every woman, what can I say” shaking my head laughing “but I just got to pay the money back, just keep Robyn out of it, I will sort it” I need to just fix it and then move on, Robyn doesn’t need to know.

I had to leave the car at the lounge place, I had to get the SUV to pick us up and now we are back at the house, and I am here trying to get into my house “I think your wife has locked you out for stealing money, housewife. You a housewife” I laughed out knocking on the door again “you mean househusband, the fuck is a wife. I don’t know what that is” the door opened “oh, Monica” let me straighten myself up “you are being so loud, it is late” now I am in trouble, I feel bad “sorry” I breathed out, she is not happy “mommy I got it” hearing Robyn say, she is going to tell me I am a mess. Looking at TJ and he just looked at me as I moved back from the door “well you took your time” she is going to be on my ass “what time is it?” I haven’t noticed “it’s two” turning to Robyn “I’m home” I smiled “I can see that” is she going to let me in or not, I don’t get it “you looking sexy though, baby making time?” Robyn scoffed “just get in, don’t make too much noise. The kids are asleep” looking at TJ “I can go home but I will leave Camron here” nodding my head “you about to be sleeping on the floor” he could be right actually.

I am asking why I bother, I asked him to tell his stupid friend to give the money back and they come back drunk, I can’t fucking win with this man. On top of that I had Camron here, but he fell asleep on the couch, I am just stood here watching because I need to make sure the home is locked up, he is a mess, so I have to make sure “bye” Chris said as he made his way in, he closed the door behind him. I say made his way but stumbled inside, I guess TJ is leaving his seed here “let me lock up” walking by Chris, he texts me to tell me that he is drunk and then he needs an SUV, I wanted to say go away but I rather he be home, I want him to be safe with me “so am I allowed to sleep in bed with you or what?” locking the door, I groaned out “I would like to say no but we have three girls that are so clever. They will assume why, they know and pick up on things” turning around “you looking really sexy” he is a damn lie, I have a damn bonnet on, I am in a robe with no makeup on “whatever, I am going to sleep thank you for waking me” walking up the steps “I am sorry Robyn, I promise you it will be fixed” I am sure a lot of things got fixed in a drunken state, I just feel angered and hurt by him. I am just going to have to deal with TJ, keep it to myself because I rather he has his friend then me telling him something that will hurt him.

I am just so pissed that he came back home drunk, he didn’t need to do that but because I ask him to do something he does this, he ain’t shit and I will remain on this. I feel like for our anniversary we just go back to Jamaica, but I am in that mood to just cancel it but we need that break away from the kids too and together, probably get some more shit out of him “Chris, seriously” he banged the door shut “I know, sshhh. Kids are asleep” he is telling me that “just stay away from me, I am trying to sleep” taking my robe off “trying, can you go to sleep after you let me give you some dick? I have been drinking and I am feeling horny, come on. It’s been a while” staring at him, he is a mess “whatever, just go to sleep. I won’t be giving you no sex, my ass” Chris sniggered “that is what I want, your ass on a platter. Can I just you know, put the tip. Can jerk me off with your feet?” getting into bed “oh my god!” he spat, he is saying oh my god, but he is the one with his dick in his hand. What is wrong with him “you are terrible, just go to sleep. I am not in the mood for sex” the bedroom door slowly opened, Chris placed his hand over his dick and tried to run but he fell on the floor “mommy I can’t sleep” I breathed out, of course she can’t “ok Imani, just go back to your room. Don’t look now” getting out of bed “get off the floor, Imani. Out, don’t look at your dad” making my way over to her “daddy naked mommy�� pushing her out of the room “I will sleep with you tonight” he can have the bedroom.

Imani was a better sleeping partner, least I wasn’t harassed for sex “oh my god, mom!?” looking behind me “we have been looking for you all over, we went into your bedroom and everywhere. What happened?” Rylee and Tianna both made her way into the bedroom “just that Imani couldn’t sleep, I am here though. And girls please, I want you to knock when you go to the room, if you don’t hear an answer then don’t go in. When daddy is home don’t walk in, just knock” I have no idea if Chris got into bed, I hope he did “ok but we got worried” these girls “don’t be worried, what was dad doing?” I asked “he was asleep in bed” thank god “ok, well I am coming down” moving up from the bed “can we play on the mobile? Just games please” Chris banned that “you have to ask daddy, he said no, and I he isn’t here to agree on it, so we wait” I am saying that so he can say no to them, I rather he be in the bad books “mom can we get our nails done?” Tianna asked, too many questions “erm, yeah. Actually yeah, we can that is fine. It’s Christmas” I stifled out a yawn “go down” they got me out of the bed now.

I didn’t honestly want Camron here, but he is here, I couldn’t say no when his father dropped him off, but his father is here. Thank heavens, they can leave now. I just told my mother in law to deal with it, just so I don’t have to speak to TJ, I have nothing to say to him “is Chris awake?” closing the fridge door, he would come and ask, “what you think?” making my way over to the counter “seeing as we are going to be civil you need to have some respect at least” I laughed “for who and what? We can be civil but you in my home, I can be as I please nigga” he in my home and telling me about being civil “this is why I honestly understand why Chris says your hard work, I mean, the fuck?” placing my hands on the counter “you and I both know if I told Chris what you was like with me he would have you out, so I do suggest you leave me be, you take your seed and go. I guess you got your disclaimer, I expect the lawyer fees to be back in my account, to the dime” TJ looked at me confused “what lawyer fees?” he said confused “the only reason you got that boy was me, clearly my husband didn’t say that. I want my money back, including that stupid saving shit” TJ sniggered “aight, whatever Fenty. Your attitude will make you lose Chris, they all say you deserve better but no, he does, but I am out. I will take a drink for the road” I would like to throw the drink at his head but I am better then that “I can’t wait for your friendship to die, dickhead” TJ laughed “I think you friendships will die first” he winked at me “the lingerie picture on Savage is real cute, nice” he is an asshole, I can’t even deal.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E92 (Jan. 28, 2020)

This week’s guests are Laura Bailey and Marisha Ray!

Announcements: At 4 PM Pacific on February 4, season 2 of All Work No Play premieres! Pre-sale tickets for autographs and photo ops for C2E2 are available now via Epic Photo Ops! Lots of “super-secret but majorly exciting announcements” to come this week on the website!

Episode 92: Home Is Where the Heart Is

Stats for this episode: it has been 69 episodes, 6 levels, and 212 Exandrian days since the Nein last saw the reformed bandits. The Nein haven’t killed anyone since episode 86, a campaign 2 record (Laura: “I know, I’m aching!”). Jester cast her 50th Guidance spell this episode (on herself), and it’s been 50 Exandrian days since the Nein last partook of a bottle of Lionett wine together in Trostenwald.

On initial expectations vs. reality for their characters’ fathers: Laura: “I had no notion of what he was going to be. I literally wrote that he wooed my mom, that he wore lots of rings on his fingers, and that he went off to get his place ready to come meet him, and that was all.” She notes that she knew Jester was half-water genasi, but she wasn’t there the first time they met the Gentleman to ask any leading questions. Marisha: “I had this struggling panic for a while. I didn’t know how he was going to play him. There was a strong possibility in my head that my parents were great, and were just like, ‘We were trying so hard, we’re so sorry.’ It was pretty crazy the way he actually played it. And it did feel like, he sucks, yeah, okay, no.”

On Fjord’s heart-to-heart with Beau: “I felt like Beau and Fjord had good pirate-ship bonding time. It’s been a bit since Beau and Fjord checked in, so that was a cool Fjord-Beau moment that was nice to have, like, we’re still bros, it’s great.”

Jester just wanted to make Beau feel better, especially as she realized that she’d been a little oblivious in cheering about how great her dad was: “It was so crazy, the minute we got there and you reverted back to the initial Beau, the first Beau that we met, and then even further past that. It just killed Jester to see that.” Marisha notes that the moment when Jester pulled Beau aside, she was about to lose it: “I tried to work Beau in a direction of growth, and getting to a point where she’s not angry and snappy and just fucking lashing out at people. So Beau’s going to try to keep her cool, and then I was literally sucking in the air, and you were like, ‘Come here,’ and that was just enough to get the reset button and the calm. She’s not in a place to forgive her parents, but Jester talking about the poison of holding on to all of that was kind of what, I was like, okay. I can use this in that moment to not have to make it about forgiving my parents right now, or ever, but to be able to start to heal and separate from that and that past. And for Beau to forgive herself.” Laura, after the game, was worried that it came across as Jester trying to get Beau to forgive her dad, and Beau notes that not seeing even a fraction of the effort the Gentleman has put forward kind of wiped that possibility out.

Beau’s grown a lot since she was last home. “The Mighty Nein has helped Beau trust in other people around her and come out of her shell and learn how to control her outbursts and her blaming other people and her anger. That’s so far from the Beau that was in that house.” Marisha was actually startled at herself when Beau snapped at Nott over the horse. “It was immediately all those bad thoughts were coming back, so it felt like Beau was on the verge of reverting.” Laura: “Nothing makes you fucking regress to your childhood mannerisms and behaviors faster than going home.”

Jester believes that “love is stronger than anything else”. She knows her parents still love each other, so “any of those other crazy things, they can work through.”

On whether Beau’s dad is really worried about her: “I think he cares to the extent that anyone cares about anyone’s general safety. I think he’s concerned about himself first, and what he has, and then I think he’s concerned about Beau next, after that. But I don’t know, maybe I’m being incredibly harsh. But there is, to this point, that element of what’s the twist.” Laura notes that she got a really high insight check on Beau’s dad. “There’s a reason that I was like, maybe give him open ears” at that moment.

Cosplay of the Week: a very detailed Molly! (GalacticLeah, photo by Fricbergsean)

On potentially leaving the Lionetts destitute if they destroy the hag, Laura and Marisha say, in unison: “Fuck the Lionetts.” They note that they’ve got the resources to make sure T.J. will be fine, and that’s all that really matters.

Has Jester forgiven her father? “I don’t think Jester’s angry at him. She’s very empathetic. She’s very good at going, okay, I see it from your side. And I think she was afraid more that something bad had happened to him. Obviously, if he could have returned, he would have, because he loved her mother so much. So I don’t think she’s angry at him. I don’t think, necessarily, she doesn’t think he’s perfect, but she’s making the best of the situation. I think she’s just happy that he’s around. Make up for lost time.”

Brian asks about how different it is to be supportive of each other and exploring backstories in this campaign versus with the last campaign’s more archetypal characters. Marisha: “It feels like the campaign has been very muddy and not black-and-white. The same for every person’s individual backstory issues.” She notes that there’s a lot more ambiguity. Laura: “Vex wasn’t empathetic. She was sympathetic sometimes, but sometimes when Keyleth was going through something, Vex was like, come on, get your shit together.” Brian notes just how different everyone’s characters are this time around. “It’s awesome!”

Laura notes that TJ ran up to Beau and called her sister, which means that they’ve been talking about her consistently for him to recognize her. “So there is a level there.” Marisha notes that Beau has very mixed feelings about her mom, too. “She’d never offer support, or want to challenge Thoreau.” So now she’s wondering if her mom has been quietly talking her up to TJ, or if it’s both of them. 

Fan Art of the week: Beau and TJ! (by ItsMalenyLopez)

Jester’s perspective on the Gentleman’s partners: “You can sleep with people, but don’t form a fucking relationship with them. That’s the difference.”

Marisha, on working with difficult topics on the show: “The audience goes away in the moment. Yes, it’s hard, yes, it’s cathartic, and yes, it’s something on a whole other level. It’s why roleplaying games are so fucking awesome, because they allow you to do that.” Marisha notes that she has a great relationship with her own parents, but getting to explore is interesting. “It’s hard to describe.” Laura: “There’s a safety there, to be able to dive into these places.” Marisha: “With all of these issues, these issues are skinned, but the root of them are often very relatable issues that everyone goes through. So there is a certain amount of catharsis to that. So while I personally had a good relationship with my parents, I’m accustomed to feeling shut out, feeling misunderstood, going through psychological abuse, all of those things. And, of course, everyone knows someone who has probably experienced those things first-hand, so you can get a sense of understanding in some ways, but there’s layers of everything that you’re doing that can totally think back to things that were from your life.” Laura: “I think that RPGs are so great for just humanity in general, because it really makes you see things from another person’s perspective.” Marisha: “It takes time. I don’t recommend anybody try to do something like this out of the gate with your first game.” Laura: “No, I mean, we’ve been playing this game together as a family now for eight years. And we’re just now getting to stuff like this. All that time of building trust and being able to know, okay, if I go to these levels, I’m going to have the support of the people around me.” Marisha: “The whole thing is a trust fall.”

Jester’s opinion on the M9′s worry about the Traveler’s cultishness? “Well-meaning but paranoid.” Before leaving the Lavish Chateau, she barely told anyone about the Traveler, and they all just accepted him as her imaginary friend. “She knows he’s godly. She knows how powerful he is. There is a little bit of ‘Oh, that’s weird,’ seeing how other gods deal with their... constituents?” Laura notes that she has absolutely no idea what Traveler-Con is going to be like.

Beau has always been aware that her tattoo has the jade/tarot connections with her father as well. “That’s why Beau was so salty with Molly when he was trying to tell fortunes from the beginning. It’s all layered. Didn’t intend for it, but jade just happened to be the one that boosts wisdom.”

Marisha and Laura both note that defeating more traditional enemies can be easily resolved in a way that can be used to block out the things that are really bothering you. Family issues, on the other hand, usually don’t have a simple resolution.

[nano--raptor]

Plea

Pairing: Bi!TJ Hammond x Female Therapist!Reader

Word count: 3k

Summary: TJ comes to you in a moment of weakness because he doesn’t know where else to go.

Warnings: Angst, mild panic attack, kissing, oral (male rec), sex, smut, soft smut, light bondage, some fluff, feelings etc

A/N: written for @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ , inspired by the prompt below from @littledarlinhavefaithinme​. Huuuge thank you to Allie @hawksmagnolia​ for all the help and support on this one, helping me with plot points, and making this lovely moodboard. ❤️❤️ TJ is a soft precious bby and I love him, and I'll be definitely be writing more parts for this💕

-----

Amber light streamed into the car from the street lamps above as TJ gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles, trying to calm his racing heartbeat. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting here, parked just down the street from her house, at nearly one in the morning. His mind wouldn’t stop running, he didn’t even remember the drive here, which added to his panic. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t focus, he felt pulled in a thousand directions. He forced himself to look at her house, to notice the details about the roof, the porch, the shrubs that lined the pathway down to the street. It was familiar, he’d walked that path before.

This time, however, he couldn’t get himself to move.

“Go, fuck,” he hissed into the darkness. He hated himself right now, how he couldn’t even get out of the goddamn car on his own. Pathetic.

“Fucking go, you coward!”

Squeezing his eyes shut, he finally got himself to release the wheel, wrenched the door open and scrambled out of the car, slamming the door behind him. He took off towards the house and didn’t stop running until he reached the front door, hammering the doorbell several times before he could stop himself and run away.

Then he waited. Fidgeting, panting, closing his eyes again and clenching his fists.

Help me.

-----

“Coming! Hold on!”

You hurried down the hall towards your front door, pulling a robe over your sleep shirt and shorts, cursing whoever was frantically ringing your doorbell at 1am. Yanking the door open, the rant died on your lips and you were shocked to see TJ standing there, of all people. He was a mess; red eyes, dishevelled hair, looking hopeless and on the verge of panic.

“TJ? Oh my god, what are you doing here?”

“I-I didn't know where else to go…” his voice trailed off, small, defeated, and you reached out to grab his wrist, fearing he might run if you waited even one more second.

You pulled him inside and wrapped your arms around him while he leaned into you, arms hanging down by his sides. You held him tight and stroked his hair, trying to provide comfort.

He'd been here before, outside of your sessions, that's not what surprised you. What surprised you was that he'd shown up here in the middle of the night, completely on his own, out of the blue. It must have been really bad today.

TJ started leaning his full weight against you, and you carefully lowered the both of you down to the floor. He curled up against you and tucked his head under your chin, and you instinctively started rubbing his back. You just held him, and you’re not sure how long you sat there before you could finally feel him starting to relax.

“What do you need, honey? You wanna talk about it?” You kept your voice gentle, soft, not wanting to add to his panic. He shrugged, and you could feel his warm breath and his soft-as-sin lashes against your chest. You held him tighter, trying to shield him from the whole world in your arms.

“It’s safe here,” he finally spoke, so quietly you almost didn’t hear him. “I’m losing control… I can’t stop it.” He sounded so helpless and defeated that your heart was breaking. The fact that he came here, to your house, to you, at his most desperate hour, spoke volumes. 

“I’m so glad you came here TJ, I don’t even care what time it is.” You meant it to be soothing, to be a sentiment, but TJ misunderstood, and suddenly pulled sharply away from you.

“Shit. I shouldn’t have come here, this isn’t your burden.” His eyes were wide with panic again and he tried to jump up, but you caught his wrist at the last second and held it with everything you had.

“Stop.” The word came out more biting than you intended, but it worked, stopping him in his tracks. He stared at you, wide-eyed, and your grip on his wrist tightened, pulling him back down to your level. He dropped to his knees and you held his face in your hands, forcing his eyes to meet yours.

“No. You do not get to come to me like this and then take off right away without letting me help you. Let. Me. Help you.” Your eyes flicked back and forth between his, searching, waiting and praying for him to come back to you. TJ was prone to panic attacks and rash decisions, and you were beyond grateful that he’d come here so that you could help him through it. But now, he had to fucking let you help him.

TJ blinked a few times as he processed your words and slowly raised shaking hands to grasp your wrists. A hundred emotions flashed through his eyes before they closed and he leaned into you again, letting out a shuddering breath against your skin.

“I’m just so fucking lost, every goddamn day is a struggle, I’m loosing my grip, I’m exhausted. I - I can't do this anymore.” When you felt hot tears against your skin, that did it for you, and your own tears that had been threatening to fall finally did. You lifted his chin and held his face again, but his eyes flicked away, ashamed of admitting the depth of his struggles to you. As if you hadn’t already known. But this was different, this was raw and real and off the record. This was in the moment.

“Look at me TJ.” Another sharp delivery and his eyes slowly slid up to yours. He looked so defeated. “I’m glad you’re here. Okay? You’re not a burden.”

A beat passed and you held each other's gaze for a moment, your eyes flicking down to his mouth and back, his doing the same, before he was crushing his lips to yours and leaning into you, desperately trying to hold onto something tangible. You kissed him back, all your emotions pouring into it, trying to show him that he did mean something to you, that you cared. He was hurting, but he kissed you with a fervor that was fighting to break free, and you yearned to help him. But you had to keep him from running.

An idea struck you and you pulled back slightly, still cupping his cheek, searching his eyes. He blinked, lips parted and swollen, cupped his hand over yours to keep that connection.

"Do you trust me?" You whispered. You knew he did, it was himself he didn't trust. TJ nodded, and you moved to stand, guiding him to his feet with you. His hand still clasped in yours, you led him down the hall, away from the doors he would normally go through, and up the stairs to your private home. Once inside you closed and locked the door, then turned and pressed your body against him, gently urging him back against the wall. His lips found yours again and his hands circled into your robe and to your waist, fingers gently fumbling around the hem of your shirt. Your breath hitched once he touched your skin, and you let a soft moan escape your mouth, encouraging him.

TJ lifted his hands to your shoulders to push the robe off, and it fell to the floor, along with his jacket. You pulled away briefly to get another look at his eyes and the way he looked back at you, with a spark of hunger, made your stomach flip with excitement. He cupped your cheek again and pulled you back in, almost possessively, and for a moment you were proud of him. 

It only lasted a moment though because soon you were both stripping each other’s clothes off, desperate to get hands on skin. When you were down to your underwear you led him to the bedroom and pushed him down onto the bed, then slowly peeled your panties off, hips rolling side to side. TJ's eyes were wide, glued to your movements. You pushed them down your legs and stepped out, bare before him now, crawling onto the bed. You were happy to see that he finally looked a little more relaxed, the tiniest of smirks pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“Do you trust me?” you asked him again. He nodded and responded, his voice hushed but a little more confident.

“Yes.” You leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before sliding off the bed and moving to grab something out of your dresser. Turning back to face him, you pulled a strand of silky fabric through your hands, letting it glide between your fingers. TJ raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t move, which was a mini win in your mind. You crawled back onto the bed and nibbled your bottom lip, watching his eyes as you straddled his legs.

“Give me your hands,” a gentle command, but TJ obliged without hesitation. You took his hands in yours and slowly wrapped the scarf around his wrists, looping it over and around, binding them together. Your heart was racing, and you wondered if his was too as he watched you work. You raised his hands to your lips and pressed kisses over his fingers, his knuckles, and he followed your movements again with soft eyes. It made your heart leap to see him looking more calm, more relieved, and you couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face.

You leaned in to kiss him again, urging him back against the pillows as you guide his arms up above his head. His mouth only left yours for a second as he raised them, and you smiled against his lips, wrapping the end of the scarf around your headboard, securing it tightly. You pulled back to examine your work and TJ bit his lip as he tested the binding, pulling at it just a little bit. You both smiled, yours slightly more devious, but you could see the spark in his eyes and it made your heart soar. If you could help him navigate the darkness by finding a way to get him out of his own head, you were more than happy to try.

“Are you comfortable, sweetheart?” You cupped his cheek and stroked it gently with your thumb, and TJ nodded, leaning into your touch again, nibbling his lip in anticipation. You trailed your fingers up his arm to test the bindings, gently fingering the silk, ghosting your fingers over his skin. Goosebumps were forming already from your light touches, and you looked forward to making him feel even better. You kissed him once more and he was hungry for it, licking into your mouth, gentle moans rumbling up from his chest.

You trailed kisses over TJ’s jaw, to his throat, lingering over his pulse point before continuing downward. Gentle kisses along his collar bones, over his chest and down his stomach, abs flexing under your light touches. He moaned again, the sweetest sound, it was soft and needy and it shot straight to your core. You were trying to put his needs and care before your own, but you couldn’t deny your desire for him either, TJ was charming and downright gorgeous, and had a knack for making a partner feel like they were the most important person in the world.

As you trailed your lips further down, fingers ghosting along his sides, he started squirming, whimpering as your tongue traced along his hips. You peeked back up at his face, his eyes were closed, lips parted, and he looked perfectly beautiful. Hooking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, you slid them down over his hips and out of the way, finally freeing his cock from its confines. He squirmed more as you teased him, your lips going everywhere except where he needed you. He was murmuring and rolling his hips, trying to get your mouth on him, and when you finally licked a hot stipe up the underside of his cock he whined loudly and his back arched off the bed.

“Ahh, fuck baby, yes…” You took him all the way into your mouth now, and his eyes shot open with a gasp, before he dropped his head back to the pillow with another moan. He tugged on the binding, arms flexing deliciously, and you felt him twitch in your mouth, loving that boundary set for him. You knew he wanted to touch you, any time you’d had him in your mouth before his hands always ended up tight in your hair, and while you longed for his hands on you now, you knew this limit was good for him. He’d come to you tonight begging for your help, and while this maybe wasn’t what he’d had in mind, it was keeping him occupied and keeping his mind out of that dark place. You’d tie him up and hold him tight as much as he needed if it meant he felt safe.

You hummed around him and swallowed him down until he bumped against the back of your throat and the sound it pulled from him was fucking music to your ears. Sure he’d bared his soul to you before, but the vulnerability he’d show in the bedroom always made your heart melt. You swirled your tongue around him as you moved your mouth up and down the length of his cock and you could tell he was close. Speeding up your motions you smoothed your hands up his thighs and along his sides, then dragged your nails gently back down the planes of his stomach. Soon TJ started mumbling under his breath and seconds later he tensed all over with a gasp and shot his hot climax straight down your throat. Moaning around him, practically purring, you grasped his hips and dug your fingertips in, holding him tight, milking him for everything he had as he rode out the waves of his orgasm.

Pulling off him gently, TJ’s eyes fluttered open and he looked utterly spent. Flushed cheeks and chest, he was panting and sweaty, his eyes followed the motions of your tongue along your lips as you liked them clean. He pulled on the bindings again with a whine, trying to reach out and touch you, grunting in frustration. 

“You okay sweetheart?” You crawled over him again to press your lips to his, voice dripping sweetness as you checked in on him. He kissed you back, hungry, desperate, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth as a tiny show of defiance. You pulled back and smirked at him, lightly patting his cheek. “Answer me honey.”

“Yeah baby,” he croaked, his eyes still hungry. His hips rolled up against yours and you smiled, sitting upright, splaying your hands on his chest. You wanted him as badly as he wanted you, and while you wanted to tease him more and make him squirm, you were aching for more of him.

“What do you want sweetheart?”

“I want you,” TJ gasped, clenching his hands into fists. “I need you. Please baby.” You nearly purred out loud as he started begging. 

“Oh honey, you want me so bad don’t you?” You cupped his cheek and your heart soared as he nuzzled into it, nodding and looking up at you through his lashes, his plea barely a whisper. 

“Please…”

Oh god. He looked so beautiful and needy and he was absolutely loving being tied down. Looking at him sent a fresh spark straight to your core and you backed your hips right onto his needy cock without being able to wait another second. 

TJ tried to hold eye contact, he really did, but as soon as you moved your hips down and your dripping wetness slid around his cock he couldn’t help the desperate, carnal moan that tore from his throat. His hips bucked hard into yours and his back arched and it was so hot that you wanted to remember this, the way he looked beneath you, as long as you lived. You started rocking your hips, angling them so he’d reach as deep as he could and soon you were both writhing and moaning and it was glorious. Throwing your head back you ground down on him, your moans and his both filling the room. Nothing else mattered in this moment, you controlled the pace and the pressure and it was exactly what you both needed.

“Baby,” TJ’s shuddering voice drew you back and folded over him, bracing yourself on one arm and carding your hand through his hair with your other. He was close again - so were you - and you held his gaze until his head dropped back again and his eyes fell closed, burying your face in his neck as he came with a shuddering gasp that trailed off into a moan. Even with his wrists bound above his head, TJ writhed and moaned and bucked his hips into you as he rode through his climax and it was enough to push you over the edge too. Wrapping your arms around his neck you whined into his ear, wrapping yourself around him, needing him as much as he needed you in that moment.

The two of you lay panting, trying to catch your breath. You rolled over to your side and reached up to undo the scarf from the bedframe, but left it wrapped around TJ’s wrists for the moment. You pulled him close and he brought his hands down to stroke your cheek, sighing at the relief of finally being able to move his arms.

“How you doin’?” you whispered, wrapping your leg over his hip and stroking his cheek, and then his back. His eyes flicked between yours and he looked satisfied, comfortable.

“‘M so good, baby, thank you.” His voice was soft, heavy with sleep already. He reached to kiss your lips, and it was soft and gentle and full of feeling, the kind reserved for lovers. Your heart flip flopped again and you pulled the blanket up around you both, content to drift off to sleep with him safe in your arms.

-----

Tags! ❤️ @sfreeborn @jobean12-blog @crushedbyhyperbole @mannatgalhotra @bubbabarnes @buckysthing @marvelgirl7 @ikaris-whore @aesthetical-bucky @littleredstarfish @godofplumsandthunder @winterboobear11 @stuckyinamoose @our-whitetulips-us @throwmyheartawayagain @cristie24 @jesslovesyouall @buckybarney @my-own-private-library @hawksmagnolia @peaceinourtime82 @infinity-saga @kenzieam @sallycanwait68 @hailmary-yramliah​ 

Join my taglist here!

[calypsoff]

Sixty Eight. Part 4

These Fenty slides have come in handy, they actually match my silky dress “you killed this sis, like really have” Rajad hugged me “awww my baby” kissing his cheek “I have missed you, I’m glad you made it for the party, you think big sis did good yeah” he nodded his head “this party is dope” I cooed out; that means I have done good if Rajad is praising me like this. I think I have done well for myself, and just to see his face and how happy he is about this party, it’s really made me happy to see him that happy. First thing he said was about his dad being in a club, let me get up and greet my in laws actually “I’ll be back” I said to my team as I walked off “Robyn, hi” Joyce is the cutest “awww my mother in law looking cute as ever, I love this dress” hugging her close “oh you smell so good” she really does “thank you sweetie, where is your mother. I can’t see her” moving back from the hug “following Chris around somewhere but I am so glad you came out for his party, to see his little face light up seeing you all” placing my arm around Joyce “I know, he got so happy, but look at you. This is amazing, oh Robyn I can’t wait to see my second grandchild” Joyce is staring at my bump “I am pretty nervous about it actually, giving birth is a part where I’m trying to not think about but it’s making me nervous, a lot” Desean is just staring at me, not sure if it’s me or my boobs, teenage boys “you ok baby?” He blushed instantly “the cutest but I am excited for it, I would like you to come to Cali when I do give birth. There is waiting rooms and stuff, I want both of you to be there. Just like my family will be here so do come” Joyce looked so overjoyed I said that “hi Robyn, you look amazing” I cooed out as Clinton hugged me “thank you, fresh bald head for the party” he bust out laughing “shined too” I can tell it was shined, he looks handsome like his son. Dennis came over to us “let’s take a picture” placing my hands on Desean’ shoulders.

Boys will be boys, they are just being boys and rowdy “Rihanna” Jay hugged me “thank you so much for coming out, you didn’t need too” he stepped back stuffing his hands in his pockets “anything for you, it was good to perform and have a little fun. I just saw your husband actually; he is very excited” I chuckled “are you staying or do you need to go. I know you mentioned that you need to go and couldn’t stay like that, would be nice if you could” he sighed out “for a few drinks I will then I do need to go” I am glad he can “how have you been? I see you are coming far along with the baby; I was telling Bey that Rihanna will be having the baby soon. I can’t believe how far she come in her career and even her personal career. I am so proud of you, but good seeing you in high spirits” hugging Jay again “thank you, it’s been a long time coming. There has been hard times, many of them but I am at a point in my life where I am happy now, I feel ready to even make another album, I am feeling very less negative. My hormones were awful, but I am positive about everything now but thank you for this. I asked and then I was like he’s in New York, what am I doing but you came, Diddy is coming too, crazy enough. Chris has been making friends along the way, he’s loveable” Jay nodded his head “he is, he’s settled in well. Was worried at first because there were issues, but you dealt with that, media are vultures so we need to be careful but you, you stay safe and when you’re ready to come, do that. I can’t wait to meet the future star” placing my hand over my bump “likewise” I sighed out smiling to myself proud.

I have been doing my rounds, saying hi to everyone I can find and have yet to find my husband. He is somewhere and I can hear him, but he is too busy having fun “hey Rih” looking up “oh hey Drake” getting up “no it’s ok sit, how are you?” I remained seated, if I can sit then I will “I am fine, you?” I asked, he pulled a chair up to me “just you seemed to have ignored me and I get it, you probably dislike me for what happened at my place” oh he noticed that “you are here for Chris because he really adores you and the team, best friends you know” I shrugged, I mean he should have known and he is aware on what these bitches like “I have the greatest respect for you; I wouldn’t ever lie to you in any way. I didn’t think India would have done all of that, I did understand that he may have been in some sort of trouble, but I didn’t think India would have done that” a guilty man “you know how these bitches are like, they see my man as fresh blood and he was in that position because of you. Now you have been in the game to know that, I feel like you were testing the waters out to see if he would” Drake shook his head “I promise you no” I don’t believe him “let’s leave it, it is what it is but don’t play with my family or better yet my marriage, I can’t trust you with my husband so he won’t come to your home like that, you put me through shit” Drake’ face softened, didn’t think he would get this kind of reaction “let’s leave it to that” I can vaguely see Chris “hey” I smiled at Chris, he just stared at me and then looked up and pointed up “thank you; what did I deserve to have you, oh my god!” Chris rushed over and leaned over hugging me “thank you, thank you, thank you” he kept kissing my cheek “stop it, enjoy yourself baby, go and party” looking up at him “thank you” nodding my head “I know” pecking his lips.

I am tired just going around saying hi to people, Diddy came, he actually gave us Ciroc for free for this event so of course I invited them “is this the mother corner?” seeing both Majesty and TJ’ son here in the corner, I don’t know how but they are asleep in this loud environment “I peeped you with Drake” sitting next to Mel “you did, well I told him how disappointed I am with him. Chris calls him a friend but you couldn’t protect him from that, he was just giving me shit excuses so I just accepted it and said let’s move on, you’re his friend so there is that” waving my hand “I am over it, he can just next time realise that my husband is faithful, I feel he was testing the waters out, if India didn’t bark he wouldn’t have barked, trust me” Mel’ eyes widened “anyways, moving on. Chris has to give me a foot massage after this, once he is over everything” Mel giggled “well he will do anything for your feet won’t he” Mel winked at me “ma’am” I cackled “don’t start” she needs to not speak another word “shoutout to Rihanna, give it up to her” Pour it Up started playing, I stood up with my virgin cocktail “strip clubs and dollar bills” lifting my drink up singing and then twerked in Mel’ face, shaking my head laughing “I can’t” laughing “I can’t do that to my baby” I laughed “shut up, that baby can wait. The fuck” Yusuf is a bad influence “you’re a mess” I laughed pointing at him “bands make your girl down” I assumed my legs were going to give but I went down and got up without an issue “aye, aye, aye. That’s my girl” these are bad “done!” I spat sitting down, I can’t be like this sober.

Chris’ cars should be arriving soon, I hope soon because then he can do what he likes. I have his suit jacket; we are getting to that point “how many virgin cocktails have you had?” rolling my eyes “let me see the commotion” getting up, I want to see the shouting now this March Madness song came on. I miss weed so much, like just smelling it right now is making me jealous. Rich just came out of nowhere “rowdy men” he said, letting out an oh as we made our way. I am just wondering why they are crowding, I am being nosey “mind out, move! Rich pushed some of the people out of the way, they was about to say something but I mean of course, I am Rihanna so they can’t say shit but move out the fucking way. Seeing Chris and then Diddy, oh we not at this point, Diddy cannot dance for shit “you on that grandpa dance, you know that” Chris said pointing at him “no, no. Just watch my shoulder, smooth” he shimmied his shoulders, shaking my head laughing “go on Breezy, you got something for that ass. Go! Show him the moves” I grinned watching “move out, move out” shuffling back with the crowd, Drake and him started bopping, he is actually Chris’ hypeman and it’s making me laugh, my eyes widened and everyone just fell out even I was impressed “no fucking way” I am so impressed by that, did he just land on beat too “yes, that’s how country niggas do it!” Rorrey dapped him “you a robot, you’re a robot. I can’t” that is so impressive.

This is the main part for me “the cars are coming, let’s get ready to go outside. Rajad, tell the DJ. It’s time” Rajad walked off “what is happening?” Joyce asked, she doesn’t even know either but she will be seeing it now “you will see” I smiled, I just can’t wait to see his face. His reaction all day has been shock after shock and now this so I can’t for him to see it “hold up, hold up. Can everyone make their way outside, we need everyone outside. I repeat, everyone outside” getting up from the seat, looking over at Chris. He looks a little tipsy, but not so much just a little. I want to make sure he goes outside “come on, everyone out please” everyone is just staring, I know these people can walk out quicker. Waving Chris over, he caught me waving at him. He rushed over to me “what is happening, you good? Everything good” I shrugged “I don’t know, I think maybe a security issue. Let’s just go outside” Chris looks like a deer caught in headlights, he is partying hard, and I love that for him “ok, as long as you’re ok” he placed his arm around me “you not drunk are you?” I asked him “I had a few shots” he laughed “but that is because they are birthday shots, but I am not that drunk, don’t worry. I am just so happy Robyn; I can’t thank you enough. You have made all my birthdays, you have, and I love you” nodding my head “it’s ok Poppa, let’s just go outside” walking off with Chris with his arm around me “I just wish I could take it in, I am just in the moment thinking wow. It’s crazy, best birthday ever! Like I don’t mind if it’s ended now, it’s just a good day” I will let him continue to mumble and talk his shit.

I feel so giddy inside, It’s excitement because honestly he is not expecting it “shall we just go home, honestly I have had a good time here and I don’t wait you to stand around” Chris looked down at my feet “baby I changed out of my heels, I was not about to wear them” Chris busted out laughing “aight, this is funny, and cute” looking over seeing that everyone has moved to the sides and it’s only Chris and I stood in the middle and he hasn’t noticed anything at all, I just find my husband so cute because he doesn’t think anything of it, he doesn’t expect that, his expectations is so low and he’s the sweetest. Hearing the engine rev as it slowly pulled up, looking at the first Lamborghini his one “I was thinking what if we went away on holiday before the baby comes, just you and me” nodding my head, he is just doesn’t care “yeah, baby look what just pulled up” I mumbled, everyone is just stood waiting for his reaction and he’s talking about holiday. Staring at his face, I want to see his reaction “what about it? It’s nice” the guy got out of the car, I don’t want to say it to him, I want him to figure it out “Chris Brown?” he pointed at Chris “uh yeah?” Chris is all confused “catch, happy birthday” he threw the key in the air, Chris caught it luckily “what!?” he spat and then looked at me “happy birthday poppa, it’s your car” placing my hands behind my back smiling ever so wide, he looked at the key and then at me again, he is trying to process it “no” he stepped back “no” he kept walking back “no way” he placed his hands on his knees “oh my god” he seems wounded “congratulations nigga, you rolling” the second car rolled up behind it, these are actually cute “no way” Chris is dramatic when he wants to be and I think his performance starts now “no way!” he spat and then turned away.

Chris turned back around “oh man” the guy held out the key to him “happy birthday” clasping my hands together in awe, Chris put his head down and then made his way over to me. Wrapping his arms around me “it’s ok” I didn’t want him to cry “this is too much Robyn, no way” rubbing his back “you deserve it, don’t cry” Chris moved back from me as he wiped his tears “I don’t deserve this woman, like probably thinking why I am crying. I ain’t expect this, all of this. She is literally my other half, and I am just a country nigga I ain’t do this flashy stuff, she literally” Chris sobbed out “she literally had my back when I was down, and I mean down where I didn’t want to be here and this” Chris looked at me, he is so emotional “you know I got you Chris” placing my hand on his torso, he leaned down pressing a kiss to my lips, wiping his tears with the back of my hands “go and look, they are both yours, second one is more family car but go on” everyone started clapping and cheering as he walked off “look at you nigga! This is the new shit!” let the boys cheer him up “Robyn you have really spoilt him, oh my god” Joyce said, she is a wreck like her son “he deserves it, he really does” looking over at Chris losing his mind over cars, these boys are so easily pleased by the smallest things and I find that funny.

I thought before everyone just gets drunk or whatever, I would do my little speech and thank people for coming “no, I am not singing” snatching the mic from the DJ, he keeps asking me too, but I think the fuck not, I won’t be doing that today “I won’t be long, can you all just listen. Thank you” I sound so grumpy, but I know they saw me get on stage, but Chris is listening so that is all that matter, someone did a wolf whistle “thank you Melissa” I know it’s her “I don’t want to waste too much time and be speaking on emotional things; I want you all to have fun and have a blast. It’s on me, first and last time but I just want to thank everyone that came out for Chris’ birthday. I appreciate it and so does he, you all made his day extra special. Happy Birthday Chris, you deserve this. All of this you deserve it, you missed out on so much of your life and you never got to live your life the way you wanted too, and now you’re married so fun is over” everyone laughed “but doesn’t mean it is over, you can still have fun within reason but back to the point, Chris has been through a lot and I have seen him at his lowest, moments where I thought I would have lost him. You are the most deserving of this and I love you. By the way the big car, whatever it’s called. That is the one where you take me around, the end. Have a nice night” holding the mic to the DJ, I am done.

I made Dennis send me the picture of Chris and I arriving, we look good as hell and I want to post it of us. Adding a caption ‘Our baby got the flyest parents’ pressing send on the post “I think it’s time for mommy to go to bed” I announced “Monica?” Noella asked “moi, me. I need to go, I can’t deal. It’s late and they want to party even more so let me go, TJ left that damn boy there like a piece of trash. Men” shaking my head “are you going with me? Rich, get the child” I said to him, I don’t play it’s not nice to just leave a baby like that for ages “I was about to come to you, I am going home ok? I can’t stay here any longer, so you come home when you like ok?” Chris nodded his head “don’t get too drunk, remain like this” fixing his shirt “I come to check on the baby” nodding my head slowly “the one baking in my stomach?” I questioned “yeah, is she ok?” I shushed him “baby it’s ok, let’s just not speak. I am going, tell TJ his baby will be at the home, he has ditched his child in the corner. Where is he?” Chris shrugged “never mind just tell him he is at the house, I am going” I added again “you know what, I love you so much. Like I cry thinking about it” Rorrey yanked Chris away, I needed that actually, but I think he understood that.

[barzzal]

Which are your favorite players? 🤗

based on skills and character (no specific order)

forwards;

sidney crosby (c): always knows what to say, a rink rat, a fucking dumptruck, and a very good captain. absolute favourite. will definitely have his number as my first nhl jersey <3 (used to not like pittsburgh but i’ve always been a clown anw i’m shameless)

mat barzal (c): my first born lmao jk both skilled and pretty, a bit clumsy, hockey/frustrated guitar player, justin bieber enthusiast, has got a whole lot of princess sofia going on. he’s my first hockey so 🤷🏻‍♀️ also d birthday boy!!!

sebastian aho (c): listen, this man can do no wrong i mean he’s so incredible esp when he gets feisty but ahhh he’s so pure i feel like he has a baby scent HAHAHA

mathieu joseph (rw): he’s fast but not barzy fast. this man is so great ig the only catch is that he plays for 🥴 hmm that’s why i haven’t seen him play a lot unlike the others listed here. i’m hoping tbl is the right team for him to like, bring the umph in his game ykwim? anw, 10000000/10 pls stan mathy jo!!!!

mikko rantanen (rw): golden retriever personality but can also do the work for the avs i mean the 92-29-96 line??? i might as well go home babe

casey cizikas (c): this dude uhm, dilf moment + he gets tanger riled up i like that most about him ;) more pls

andrei svechnikov (c): also a baby but a literal giant on ice. 10000/10 so spot on as a human being i will def buy again.

tyson jost (c): not a top player rn but HE WILL BRING HIS A GAME SOON it’s what the gods willed for this kid wait for him 😼 also seattle szn for josty??? i say why tf not josty’s already a key player so i’m confident he’ll progress more than he’s already had this szn ;)

defense;

pierre-olivier joseph: he will be big 😚 i feel like him and mathy will have that one powerful szn and istg yall won’t be ready for it. he’s one of sidney’s kids as well anw crosby pretty much fathers every kid in the team lmao (he might as well father mine JK JK JK)

ryan graves: a goddamn horse and a titan he’s actually gotten pretty good this season i love that for him (hoist the cup gravy we want to see it)

kris letang: A FUCKING HANDFUL i will stash this man in the slammer with zeeky istg let the girls fight ******

noah dobson: he’s there but not quite. i’m rooting for him either way would def want to see him grow as an islander

goalies; oh aka the loml

tristan jarry: the only player (next to sid) that makes me love the pens. yh i love the other genuine kids + geno ans tanger but tj is the only relevant goalie and the club should fucking kick the other one out the organization if u need another goal tender, just strap sid in his equipment then i’d prolly shut up

ilya sorokin: THE ONES WHO SLANDERED HIM ON HIS FIRST TWO GAMES HOW ARE YALL DOIN but like tristan, ilya is the only islander goalie that matters no i won’t change my mind. absolute god. soroking szn babey!

marc andre fleury: one word buddy, vezina.