#like ofc they dont pick where it goes im sure

[anemhoez]

scar got his resonance mark on his neck I know that mf is FREAKY 😭

[sukunasweetheart]

👀👉🏾👈🏾 Sukuna x Reader ex's to lovers?

wowowow i cant believe im doing like another celebrity au again but here goes nothing ahaha...

i love this trope, i ended up writing a WHOLE, lengthy ass, detailed plotline on it i hope u dont mind <3 (A WHOLE WHOPPING 6K WORDS YALL)

prepare for hella angst, OOC sukuna, insecure fem!reader, ghosting, messy break up, conflicting and complicated feelings + sexual tension and then intense smut @ the end (make up sex)

imagine sukuna being like, an amateur model-turned-actor, with you being his highschool sweetheart, who was there to support him since day one

a very happy, fulfilling relationship for the most part-- until he starts gaining huge amounts of popularity.

youve always known that he was meant and born to reach sky-high levels of success, and you were certain he was going to make it one day

but things get rockier by the second, and insecurity is such an ugly, ugly thing

seeing him model with other beautiful celebrities, acting in roles where he had a love interest to kiss and fondle, reading those gossip scandal articles involving him and another party every few months or so-

it all got too much for you.

all you needed was some reassurance... but young and vivacious sukuna, drunk on this fame and attention, failed to recognise that and left you feeling neglected.

not on purpose tho, he's never engaged in infidelity, he's never gazed upon someone else with lust or love on his mind - he was using everyone around him as a stepping stone towards his own career

sukuna's known you since forever, and he was confident that you knew his affection for you was unwavering... so he failed to understand where you were coming from whenever you brought these things up

arguments after arguments after arguments

the worst part of it was that he wanted to keep his relationship with you a secret. saying something about how having a significant other would slow his progress in his career down... the decision was urged on by the entertainment company that he was in a contract with

it hurt so damn much when he was being interviewed on tv about his romantic life, only for him to tell the world he was single.

it leads to more arguing.

of course, as a rising celebrity, he was quite awfully busy with many business trips and attending a lot of parties and galas

another terrible fight occurred right before he had to leave for a flight overseas but by then, youd pretty much already decided that you were going to leave him

you basically ghosted him, packing all your belongings overnight, blocking his number and all his social media accounts, making sure even all yours and his mutual friends didn't know of your whereabouts. you're going to start fresh. and give him no closure.

it was petty revenge, and maybe immature of you, but you were just as young as he was, and you wanted him to hurt as badly as you were hurting back then.

sukuna's still overseas, having just come back from another fancy gathering and is fresh out of the shower, in his hotel room... he decides he's gonna try and give you a call, but ofc you don't pick up

he sighs and convinces himself that he'll sort things out with you later when he gets back, not knowing that there won't be a 'later'.

meanwhile you're dragging a suitcase out of the apartment, taking a taxi somewhere else far away, crying as you pass by giant billboards that have pictures of sukuna plastered all over

he feels like such a faraway person now. no longer someone who you used to cuddle closely in bed, or hold hands with. you're not even sure of who you are without him anymore.

you could imagine his reaction when he came home, only to find your entire existence missing. seriously, it was like you were never there. you left nothing of yours behind, and the place was cleaned spick and span, not a hair of yours to be found.

when was the last time sukuna felt so panicked?? this dull ache in his chest, as he spams you calls and texts that never reach you

he contacts mutual friends in rotation but everyone is absolutely clueless... he considers filing a missing persons case but then a trusted friend of yours tells him to not look for you... and that you wanted them to relay a message to him, just a simple goodbye.

what the fuck are you talking about?

oh, here comes a severe headache.

his mind is whirring with overlapping memories, thoughts, regrets, thinking about any clues that might give away where you couldve gone, but theres simply nothing

the shock moves into sorrow, then denial, and then it turns to anger. does he mean nothing to you? so much so that youd abandon him without saying a word?

its like he was going through the five stages of grief, but for someone who he knew was still alive..

eventually, he finds a rebound out of spite. if youve left him, then it's means he's free and single, right? he gets himself piss-drunk, and beds another, only to wake up feeling absolutely disgusted. it feels like... it feels like he's cheated on you. even though you're already gone. he's just a mess of conflicting emotions, and it lasts for so long.

the reason why he doesnt hire someone or use some other underhanded method to actually look for you is because of a weird mixture of both his pride and feelings of insecurity, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you do deserve someone better, someone who understands you more... (and he's also fearful that someone like you, might've already found love somewhere else, and he's definitely not confident that he'll be able to act maturely if he sees its true)

eventually, acceptance does come... but does it really?

i like to think he went through many failed relationships, his partners always leaving him upon witnessing him getting intoxicated and calling for none other than your name in his state. someone who no one around him knows anymore.

years pass, and time really does allow you to forget. for both you and sukuna alike. in your mid thirties, both of you are single at this time.

you've been busy with your new job at some company (dont ask me, i was too lazy to decide what kind, so u guys can make this one up bye), and he made sure to keep himself busy as well. no time for fleeting romance.

of course, until fate does that weird thing where it pushes people together again... a new project lands in your lap, where it involves some kind of collaboration with THE celebrity, ryomen sukuna. of fucking course.

you really did desperately try to get it off and pass this off to some other colleague but they insisted your involvement was necessary. what are you supposed to do? you almost decide to quit... but this job means a lot to you... you can't just throw everything away because of an ex... right?

and, oh my god, when the first meeting does happen, involving the celebrity himself, you and a couple other coworkers to discuss the project, sukuna sees you and his brain short circuits for a moment.

he starts doubting his own vision, and then he reminisces, in the middle of whatever the fuck everyone else was talking about during the meeting.

"... Mr. Ryomen?" one of the other participants ask.

he clears his throat, regains his composure and regathers his focus. he's an actor for god's sake. and he starts speaking, with thoughts of you in the back of his mind. about how much youve changed, but also remained exactly the same...

during introductions, you shake his hand and act professionally. his eye twitches. will you continue to pretend not to know him even afterwards? should he talk to you separately after this? no... doing that would mean he's the desperate one...

when you saw sukuna hesitating, part of you felt relieved. so you're not the only one getting freaked out. you don't expect him to acknowledge you anymore, though.

after the meeting, he walks out feeling confident that he's going to ignore you back, if this was the kind of game you're going to play with him. you mean nothing to him, just as he means nothing to you.

but he remembers the shock that went down his spine at the feeling of the warmth in your hand. he watches you take an elevator by yourself, and tries to make a split second decision on whether he wants to let you go, or if he wants to chase you down.

he probably shouldn't bother.

but he impulsively speed walks down towards you, anyway.

youre startled when the elevator doors are blocked from closing just at the last second, with someone's arm coming through between. your heart skips a beat seeing that it's none other than sukuna.

what is this sensation? this mix of fear and... excitement. you should be unperturbed. you're over him. he's someone from the past. you're buzzing with these feelings, but there also comes a creeping resentment that finds its way to you again, as you try to remember why you left him in the first place.

he unclicks whatever level you were heading to, and clicks on the highest level instead. he's gonna take you to the rooftop of the building, where he can confront you peacefully.

"Mr. Ryomen? Is there something wrong?" you ask him. still feigning ignorance. like salt to a wound. you know its another petty move from your part, but you can't help yourself.

"Don't call me that. You know damn well why I'm here," Sukuna drawls, sounding more sad than angry. they've really become strangers.

you grow silent, being hit with a pang of guilt. deep down, you knew you shouldve handled it more maturely than that. he deserved closure, and you needed it too. but isn't it too late for all that now?

the conversation flows tense, but unravels slowly. there's still a lot of questions being withheld though. he wants to ask you how youve been. were you able to sleep peacefully after you left him? why did you have to leave in the worst way possible?

a familiar headache creeps up.

simultaneously, the anger finds its way in his heart all over again. he knows he didn't do much good towards the end of their relationship either but ghosting him was plain disrespectful and childish.

you surprise him when you give a sudden heartfelt apology.

you tell him that you know apologising now after all these years is frankly almost meaningless but still, he didnt deserve to be left behind in that kind of way. you admit that you should've communicated with him properly that you were breaking up with him.

he's left kinda speechless, bc he was so ready to be all snarky to you after everything.. he's still mad, but he can't really say shit anymore without sounding like too much of an asshole.

truth be told, if you did stay around to tell him that you were breaking up with him beforehand, he probably wouldn't have let you go... where would you guys be now, if you never separated?

"i've always wanted to apologise. it's been weighing on me ever since i left."

...and yet, you didn't ever think to call or text him even once afterwards? he never changed his number in hopes for that, and he hates himself for it.

"i understand that you hate me now, but let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. and then we can part ways again."

that one pierces his heart, like a bullet. you haven't said anything technically wrong. he should hate you. or at least, he should feel indifferent by now. and yet... the way that you automatically assume so irks him badly.

"do you really believe that i hate you? aren't you the one that hates me?"

it's a stupid fucking question. what the fuck is he even saying? he wants to kick the elevator door.

"...i left because i thought you hated me, that you didn't need me anymore. and i tried to convince myself that i hated you too. but that couldn't be further from the truth. even now, i don't ha-"

before you can say any more, the elevator doors open, and a small group of employees are standing outside them, looking curiously in at you and sukuna. then, they realise who he is. they come flocking in, asking for autographs and pictures.

you quietly slip out of the crowd, and after giving one quick glance at sukuna, who visibly wants to pursue you again, you walk away to avoid gathering attention on yourself. wait-! dammit- he thinks.

he can't chase after you. he can't call out for you to stop. he can't push all of these people away. if he did, it will cause rumours and unfavourable articles to fly out. let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. his own fame becomes another obstacle between you and him.

back then, you were his whole world, yet somewhere along the path, he started to fail in making you feel like it.

he watches you take the fire exit towards the emergency stairs, while he's surrounded by overbearing fans who beg for his attention. you're going to have to walk down in your heels, all because of him. as he catches the final glimpse of you, as he's reluctantly dealing with his fans, he begins to understand, a little bit. he didn't want to understand why you decided to leave him. but he does now. a little.

a couple of stairwells down, you eventually pause for a moment and sit down on the last step to take a breather. you wipe your sweaty palms against your skirt. the familiar tug at your heart, in which your insecurities come flowing back to you, seeing him surrounded. you need to build higher, stronger walls around you from now.

when sukuna is done on his end, and sends them off down the elevator, he goes off to check down the stairs you went, but you've already booked it. slipped right through his fingers. you were about to say something important. with unresolved feelings, sukuna also takes the stairs down, with a heavy heart. each step down brings him another old, nostalgic memory of you to him.

from then on, the more he interacts with you during work-related matters, the more apparent it becomes that he still harbors feelings for you. he tries to ignore it, push it back down, but it only returns twice as overwhelming.

your voice. the way you smile. the scent of your perfume. exactly the same as back then. yet, he also observes the changes that have occurred in you; how you act, speak and the kinds of words you use, as well as seeing you in such a professional setting rather than personal - everything is coming together to allure him more, and he's in a state where he's unable to resist this attraction, but also unable to act on it, because he's not sure how you'd react to it.

he knows it's not just him getting drunk on nostalgia.

the next time he catches you alone, he makes sure to tell you that he doesn't hate you like you believe he does. you'd never admit it, but that gave you butterflies in your stomach.

in fact, everything sukuna does, even just locking eyes with you for a few seconds, is enough to make your heart rate increase, intensifying when he looks at you almost like... almost like he wants you. you must be imagining things.

he finds himself doing uncharacteristic deeds, like sending coffee for all the staff members. his manager passes them out to everybody, including you. he doesn't know if you still like your coffee the same way as he remembers, but he makes sure that yours is a little different, a little more specific than everyone else's, in hopes that you'll notice these small gestures of his.

over the course of the project, he inches closer to you, ever so slowly. but you don't seem to budge. even worse, you seem to be avoiding him as much as you possibly can. you avert your gaze from his. stagger away when he gets close.

he brings it up on one occasion, when he's able to approach you at the back of the building, where there's no one around, and no watchful eyes of a nosy audience. it's definitely frustrating and unpleasant- when he wants to speak with you, he has to keep distance in case another scandal rises. he doesn't want to drag you into the spotlight, without knowing if you're okay with it first.

sukuna only really talks to you when there's nobody around. maybe he's being considerate of you, but it gives you the impression that he doesn't want to be seen hanging around with you. it makes you remember things you don't want to. it makes you remember that being with him now requires a courage that you're not sure that you have. at the very least, you know you definitely didn't have it back then.

you keep conversations short with him, and try to leave. but he keeps at it persistently. what is he trying to do? is he toying with you?

"you're acting like you want us to get back together. don't do things that'll make me misunderstand," you tell him. you were trying to provoke him. expecting him to deny it harshly and back away, because you knew he was prideful- he'd never be caught being hung up over an ex.

"...and? what if i told you that i do want that? would you stop avoiding me then?" he takes one step forward, and you take one back, proving his point.

why is he pushing aside his ego for you? where did all his arrogance go off to? this isn't how the sukuna in his twenties would've responded. his answer makes you waver, and you don't appreciate that. you try not to show it.

"no. i'd only begin to avoid you even more. so don't start."

"i'm not," you deny, but your voice betrays you. he clings onto that.

"why? ...afraid that you'd cave in to me?"

like the way he's already pretty much caved in for you?

"you don't sound very convincing."

"...would you want someone who'd choose their career over you?"

that stops him in his tracks. he has nothing to say to that. because he did make that mistake. where he prioritised his job over your feelings.

"i don't hate or blame you for that anymore, sukuna. but you have to understand... i don't want to go through that pain ever again. i don't want to hold you back. we both deserve more compatible partners."

your own words sting yourself, and you try to go again right after saying that, because it's getting too much for you. his hand flies out to grab yours out of instinct, to stop you from leaving. leaving him again.

it's really not like him to be the clingy ex, pathetically begging to be taken back, but he's willing to throw such pride away if it means you'll be appeased. if you'll let him back into your life again.

"don't say that. you never held me back-- you were my home and my everything, and i was the one that started to take you for granted," he says gently, his low voice laced with sorrow, so uncharacteristically. you've only ever heard this kind of tone from him once before, and it was when his grandfather, who was like a parent to him, had passed away. his thumb brushes over your hand.

"give me another chance. this time i'll let the whole world know about us. about how much you mean to me."

he gets in close ever so slowly, and you let him, for only a moment, before gently pushing him away, with a hand on his chest.

sukuna hitches in a breath, heart sinking to his stomach. he wants to embrace you so, so, so bad. he needs your warmth. always has been. always will. but he sees that you're unrelenting, which breaks him.

"no, stop... i'm sorry, i can't."

you're still scared. you keep thinking about how lonely you felt when you were with him, at least right before the break up. seeing him laughing through the tv screen. alone in the living room. and all the arguments.

your hand slips out of his, and he lets you go. he feels empty when you walk away. hollow. the similar feeling he felt when you first left him, but less anguish and more despair. when he gets home, he tries to drink those feelings away. something he rarely does. old regrets and heartaches return, and he drinks until he passes out.

while he drinks, you weep. crying into your pillow, wondering if you're doing the right thing. wondering if this is how it's supposed to be. terrified of being with him again, but also terrified of losing him, like a hypocrite.

from then on, sukuna keeps a respectful distance from you... no longer trying to make approaches in secret, no longer pursuing you every chance he gets. but he still sends out coffee. even provides snacks to the crew. little do they know, they're the kinds of snacks that he knows you loved. hopefully, you still do. he'll keep his distance because it's what you want, but he wishes to keep doing these little things for you. subtly.

and you notice it, too. you have vivid memories of telling him about your favourites and preferences back then, and you recognise what he's trying to do. you drink the coffee. and you always grab a handful of the snacks. you do appreciate it. it makes you happy that he remembers. on a few occasions, you turn to look at him, only to witness him looking away at the last second.

it's not too long before the project is successfully finalised, and all their efforts have been rewarded. a celebration is due, and your boss throws a party at a fancy hotel for everyone to enjoy themselves at. sukuna had stopped going to so many gatherings and parties quite a while ago, but he attends knowing that you'll be there as well. he'll see you for the final time before he'll lose any excuses to be around you ever again. it'll be the final night.

you exchange a few words with him at the venue, but the two of you leave each other to mingle with other groups reluctantly, to avoid suspicion. both of you are quite tense all throughout the night, sipping on some wine to ease it, but it still doesn't relax the tension you feel, no matter how far away sukuna stands from you.

a few hours in, and you decide to excuse yourself early to head up into your designated hotel room. your boss covered the expenses for a night, and it would've been a waste to decline it, so you decided to stay. sukuna isn't around anywhere at the venue anymore, so you assume he's already left. you thought about saying farewell, but it didn't seem appropriate after you flat out rejected him. you still have doubts about the decision. because you miss him. but what's done is done, and you can't take back what you've already said.

however, getting to the hotel elevator, you notice he's standing there, with miraculous timing. you awkwardly "hey" him, and he says it back, hands in his pockets.

the two of you step inside when it arrives, and the thick tension remains.

"i'm surprised. i thought you'd be staying around longer for the party," you tell him.

he can't tell you that he found it unbearable, to see you hanging around other people, but being unable to get closer to you himself.

"i just got a bit tired," he lies. "did you have a lot to drink?"

"not at all. i had a few glasses, but i'm still sober."

"same here."

as the lift gets closer to your level, you get antsy, thinking about what to say before you leave, but your thoughts get interrupted when he asks you something abruptly.

"...can i walk you to your room? for the last time."

you swallow thickly on nothing, and feel how your chest aches at the words. last time.

"alright. sure," you say.

he wasn't expecting you to say yes, but he's glad you're letting him stay beside you a little longer. you're staring at the elevator doors, but he's looking at your face from the side. if only the lift would malfunction and stop, right here.

but it doesn't, and soon, he's really walking beside you as you get to your hotel room door, in silence. you unlock it using your key, and then that's it.

"thanks for walking me here," you say rather sheepishly. the thought of him wanting to spend even a few more seconds with you... your hold on the door knob is tight as you stand, face turned around to look at him. it's taking everything in you to stand your ground. last minute guilt and regrets are bombarding your thoughts, and...

"i'll say this now because i probably won't get another chance again," sukuna starts, looking directly into your eyes. his eyes are mellow, and he looks wistful.

"i'm sorry. i realised i never apologised, even though that's the first thing you did for me," he starts. he knows there's a mountain of reasons he is apologising for, but he decides he'll keep this short for your sake.

".. i can't lie to you and say that i wish for your happiness with someone else. 'm not that nice." you know it the best. and you understand, because you don't think you'd be able to withstand seeing him happy with someone else, either.

"find your happiness elsewhere, thanks," he grunts humorously. for god's sake. he's never been good at things like this. being heartfelt. at least it made you chuckle a bit. his expression of indignation melts away into a melancholic one again.

"i still love you." (always have, always will.)

you fight back sudden tears, and your throat begins to ache. sukuna unclenches his fist, and tries to relax himself more.

"and...i'll miss you," he breathes the phrase out. says it so quietly, like it hurts for him to say. (i don't want to let you go.)

something snaps within you and everything starts to scream at you to take everything back, and stop him from going away. don't go- don't go- don't go-

"...goodnight."

he notices your wet eyes, and he has to fight back against the urge to reach out and wipe it away. to rescind his farewell, and pull you into his arms again - forcefully, if he has to. he needs to leave, before he loses control.

you're panicking, and your vision is swimming, and you don't think you'll ever be happy again if you let him go like this-- you're gonna be heartbroken in the worst way imaginable. you want him back, and you know you're being unreasonable after turning him down like that, but you don't care anymore. you want to go against your fears. you want to try being with him again.

before you can stop yourself, your hand catches onto the hem of sukuna's sleeve, seconds before he takes another step away from you.

his eyes widen, and he looks at your grip on his sleeve, like he's checking to see if it's real, and he's not making this shit up in his mind. his heart beats impossibly fast. his hopes skyrocket. the world decided to have mercy on him.

"...you're being unfair, grabbing onto me like this. after i went through hell just now, trying to say goodbye." he's being awfully patient right now.

you don't respond, only silently weeping.

he waits to see if you'll let go, whether this was just an act out of a temporary fickle in your heart, but your grip remains tight, and you're now just looking up at him with tears rolling down, eyes glossy and desperate, pulling at his heart strings. you only let go when he comes back to you, not hesitant to brush his thumbs across your face now, wiping the wetness away.

"what do you want me to do? tell me, and i'll do it. leave? stay?" sukuna coos at you, like he's always done before, waiting patiently until you've calmed down enough to respond properly.

"i shouldn't... i shouldn't let you in. not after how much i'd pushed you away," you whisper. today was supposed to mark the end of it all.

he doesn't even give a fuck about that anymore. what matters is now.

"...but do you want to let me in?"

"...yes," you hic.

he takes a couple of steps forward, making you step back with him, his hand on your waist to make sure you don't trip on the way. he goes past the doorway and into your hotel room slowly. one- two- three- steps. he closes the door behind him quietly.

"and..? what next?" he asks in a low voice, standing close to you, one hand still remaining on your waist, and the other on your upperarm.

"i... i don't know. i just need you," you mumble, looking up at him, eyes red from crying and half-closed. your hands inch up along his back, grabbing handfuls of his suit jacket. sukuna hitches in a breath and something dark flashes across his eyes. they reflect his desire, his almost carnal desperation for you-

"forgive me. i don't think i can hold myself back, anymore."

he captures your lips in his, and groans shamelessly into you. you grip onto him tighter, heart beating so rambunctiously that you fear he can hear it too. it feels too good. the moment he reached you, it felt like the final piece of a puzzle clicking in to complete a full picture.

you part your mouth, and he wastes no time in slipping his tongue inside, kissing you in the way he knows you love, in the way it makes your lips tingle, and, oh god, even after all these years, he still knows how to get you going like no other.

sukuna tastes the traces of wine on your tongue, and even better, he tastes you, the one he'd been missing and craving all this time, the warmth of your skin and touch, your scent, just everything about you, you, you.

he backs you towards the bed, without breaking this breathless, hungry kiss, where he softly lays you down, with him being above you, chest to chest, arms supporting his weight. he momentarily pulls away from you simply just to breathe, and the two of you gaze at each other for a hot second, full of love and lust, breaths overlapping one another. he attempts to ask you "do you still wanna continue?" just in case, but before he gets to say a word, you grab him by his tie and pull his lips to yours again, beginning to loosen it and take it off.

he understands that you want it, now. you successfully manage to untie it, somehow, with just willpower alone, and you start aiming for his buttons next, undoing them one by one. your actions send sparks down to all of his limbs, and he feels so fulfilled by your desire of him, being as intense as how he obsesses over you.

soon after you're done with it, he takes them off and chucks his own clothes away, rendering him half-naked. your hole clenches around nothing at the sight once he pulls away again, his firm muscles and the same old tattoos that you vividly remembered the patterns of. you greedily run your palms across his pecs, eyes turning to hearts. he smirks at you.

it's his turn now, and he doesn't hesitate to start undressing you as well. sukuna gets dizzy at the thought of being able to feast his eyes on your body. he dives in to keep kissing you, and then begins to unbutton you with such speed, it almost startles you.

it's off. your breasts are out in the open now, and sukuna has his fill with massaging them with his large hand, having missed them so much. his palm feels so hot, and your nipples pebble up at his touch, making you gasp into his mouth.

his kiss moves over to the side of your face, it glides down your neck, shoulders, and eventually reaches the swell of your chest. your fingers brush through the pink of his hair as he does so, and you purse your lips together, basking in the feeling of his warm kisses littering your skin. he leaves you hickeys-- the same shape and size and same locations as he used to even during your days in highschool, and you chuckle to yourself at the thought.

it's not long before he's loosening your skirt and slipping your undergarments down, getting rid of your slick-stained panties, much to his satisfaction. sukuna rubs a thumb over your aroused clit, and you whimper, having missed the touch of a man- his touch specifically.

"fuck... you're so wet.... all for me?" he asks, proceeding to slip two fingers into your weeping hole. you arch your back at the feeling, how his thick digits scissor inside of you and press up against a particularly lovely spot. he watches your every response as he does so, watching how you moan because of his touch, and how you're grabbing at his wrist because it's getting too intense. his cock prods uncomfortably against his pants. you're producing so much slick, and his fingers are getting absolutely drenched.

when he takes them out, you whine a little in disappointment.

"i know, i know. i'll give you something better," he whispers, kissing your cheek.

he unbuckles himself, and lowers his boxers to reveal his aching dick, tip wet with precum, veins bulging out the sides. looks the same as you remember. he pumps it a couple of times with his hand that's still covered with your slick, and he twitches. this isn't a dream, is it?

"oh god, please, i need it-" you plead, your hole feeling eager and empty.

"it's all yours," he mumbles. your begging makes him lightheaded as he lines himself up at your weeping cunt.

"i'm all yours."

when he sinks in deep to the hilt, you cry out at the fullness, as his tip pushes the spot inside you that had been feeling so lonely for years. your hands finds themselves against his back, feeling for his tight muscles.

"shit- 'm gonna lose my mind," sukuna groans as he gives a few shallow thrusts into you, cock so hard and throbbing wildly as your plush walls clamp on him and coats him with your arousal. he grabs one of your hands from his back and interlocks his fingers with yours against the mattress, before leaning down to bring his lips against the side of your neck.

"oh, thank god... thank god, you changed your mind. i love you. i would've been so fucking miserable without you, doll. for the rest of my life," he croons, breath fanning so close to your ear. you shudder at the tone of his voice, tearing up again, mixed with pleasure and relief, and you grab his hand tighter.

you turn your head a little more to the side, making it easier for sukuna to bite and suck on the sensitive skin of your neck, as his thrusts increase in speed, nudging your g-spot with every movement.

soon enough, he's bringing his attention back to your tongue, which he caresses with his own, nibbling on your lower lip, maintaining this same perfect pace in his thrusts that brings you closer to your orgasm.

"sukuna- i'm- i'm gonna-" you say breathlessly.

but he merely kisses you again, swallowing up any words you could say or moans you could let out, not minding the gasps and whimpers that you make.

sweat beads on his perfect body, and he makes out with you through your high, groaning back when he feels your walls flutter around him. he's close. even once you've finished cumming, he begins to pound into you quicker, wanting to get to his own orgasm. you claw at his back, crying out in pleasure, as sukuna's tongue lathers your jawline.

he wants to breed you so fucking bad. but no, that'll have to wait. he can't do something to jeopardize your trust in him. he'd rather die than endure another second of being distanced from you again.

right before he's pushed off the edge, sukuna pulls out and desperately jerks himself off above your stomach, panting as his cock throbs in his hand with every spurt that coats you, feeling so hot against your tummy.

you feel a twinge of disappointment, because you also wanted to feel that in your womb...

his dick twitches weakly after being spent, and he breathes heavily, liking the sight of you being covered in his seed for another time. (and many more from now.)

" 'kuna... it's a safe day for me today," you suggest to him without thinking. "i want it inside me..."

the phrase is enough to get heat pooling in his abdomen, and he feels himself get hard all over again.

"you sure, doll? if it's what you want, i'll..." he begins to say, almost flustered by your suggestion. you know you shouldn't say this next line, but it's so easy to get carried away with this man... get caught up in the heat of the moment.

"i want your babies so bad."

you've hit his switch. sukuna growls and puts you into a mating press instantaneously, making you squeak.

"no takebacks," he mutters dangerously, beginning the second round.

the night is long, but heavenly, as soon after he dumps everything he has into your womb, then proceeds to eat you out, making you cry for the third time before sunrise.

when you're awake, it's already heading past midday, and you're relieved to see that yesterday's happenings were not a dream, seeing as the large man is sleeping with an iron hold around your body, as if subconsciously afraid you'd leave him before he woke up again.

he awakens from his slumber to your light, feathery touches on his face, which puts him in a good mood from the moment he opens an eye. it was the scenario he's always dreamed of. waking up next to you, smiling.

there's much to talk about. about what's to come next, future plans, worries, and things they need to do to make amends for all the lost years between each other. but you decide to take things slow.

back to bullet points again bc im lazy to write it properly now

you spend the weekend w him at the hotel and stuff, just playing eating and sleeping, catching up yk

he tells you on his own accord that he wants to let everyone know that he's with you now, but he's worried that it'll bring backlash to you but you tell him you're going to be brave and take it, bc you WANT everyone to know

anyway prepare for turbulence

but everything'll be alright bc hes with you

im thinking about how mopey he'll be when you have to separate from him bc you each have your own homes rn, hes always asking you to come over or if he can come over to your place

and he'll be begging you to move in soon, like old times (he lives in a rich man house now tho)

and also thinking about how its a fresh start, but they also go through old memories and now reminiscing isnt painful anymore bc yall are back together

sukuna also says he's stopped doing romance genres in acting bc he had felt annoyed acting in lovey dovey scenes when his own love life used to be in shambles all the time

and bc hes at a point in his career where he has more choice in choosing between scripts that are offered to him, he's going to continue to decline the ones that have love interests, it doesnt affect him that much anyway

he's just being more considerate of your feelings now... and you promised him that you'll never just disappear like that again when you're upset haha...

sometimes when you still have a few disagreements with him, he keeps subtly checking up on you (hes traumatised, leave him be)

lots of facetiming when he has to go overseas for filming purposes <3

okay, thats all, bye <3

Masterlist

[riotlain]

You still take requests???

If so could you write hcs about batboys realizing they're in love 🥰 (with male reader if you could) (if you did before could you share link 🙏) Love you...

IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG JT GOT BURIED UNDER DRAFTS IM SORRY 😭😭

THIS IS A NWLNW BLOG!! WOMEN DNI

Dick Grayson

When he realizes hes in love with you

HES DOWN HORRENDOUS

ok he's like probably really bad at hiding his feelings so he ends up like flirting like prolly more often

Bottom of the barrel shit sometimes too

Bro would straight up say "Nice cock" if he had balls

Batfam teases him for how obvious he is

Depending on whether or not youre a superhero he's gonna be protective

Like yea as a civilian hes protective enough. Gotham is very dangerous!!

If you're a superhero too than he'll probably be a bit less protective... or atleast try to be

"Y/n can handle dealing with Poison Ivy himself it'll be fine... I'll go show up just in case."

If you're a villain though he's always the one to arrest you (he lets you go)

He aint the elaborate plan type of guy when it comes to this

So he one night jusy thinks "Yea im def gonna fess to him"

So no matter if youre civilian, hero, or villain he'll confess with a bouquet of flowers under the moonlight with some shit pick up line

Jason Todd

Used to have internalized homophobia but now hes over it... mostly

If youre a villain he'll straight deny his feelings for the longest time

Civilian or hero though? He'll definitely flirt

As in he just shows that he wants to protect you I guess

It honestly took him a while to realize he had feelings for you

Like yeeaaa hes gotten with alot of women and all but like with you? Something is hitting different and he doesn't know what

Roy finds out for him

He found out and teased Jason and Jason is just like "Wait what🧍‍♂️"

So with this new found crush how will Jason approach it?

Hes either really blunt or will completely avoid it all together 💀💀

Like i'm ngl you gon have to make the first move

Tim Drake

He found out he was bisexual and really went "Oh🤨??...OH😲"

Like if you just go to school with him he'll like try to hang out with you more

If you're a hero he's going on patrol more often just to hang around

And if youre a villain💀💀 He definitely tries to keep up the hero facade but like

Fucks it up with getting nervous

"I dont wanna hurt him too bad so he hates me. Wait he's trying to kill me though. I think he is???"

Has definitely lost a few fights with you bc of that 😭😭

Damian found out first (analytical lil shit) and made fun of him

Not in the homophobic way but in the way where his brother has a crush and looks like an idiot

"Drake you look like an utter idiot."

He tries to be smooth (Advice from Dick ofc) and fails

He does the thing where he tries to lean against a wall and fell the other way😭😭

Man just ask him out so he can quit embarrassing himself please

Damian Wayne

Def has internalized homophobia sorry

You know he isnt the best at his feelings so when he's around you he goes a bit crazy-

'I think of Y/n as a friend. Why would I think more of him as more?? Is it normal for me to like boys???? Dear god.'

Asks Alfred about it (One of the batbros prolly heard him though and barge in I'm ngl)

He isn't sure how to go about uh... "Courting you" as he calls it

Like yea he gets the kinda stuff to do for girls he's read many novels on that

But boys??? Hes stumped

He ends up stalking all the couples in his school for an answer

And probably ends up avoiding you :((

Whenever you try to confront him he just says "Its nothing." and leaves

Buuttt one day he ends up spilling everything on accident

[longelk]

I've beat inscryption but kaycees mod is beating my absolute ass! I cannot for the life of me beat it even once!! Give pro strats pls... (also I love your art so so much obviously but I also think it'd be fun to ask you about the game itself if that's ok!!! :,D)

ofc id be happy to talk about the game itself!! dont feel bad about losing to kmod its very hard on purpose because kaycee likes inflicting pain!

first of all, i learned a lot of lifesaving strats/tricks from this little fanmade kmod wiki! it gives pros/cons for each starter deck and goes into detail about how hand manipulation works and stuff, check it out for sure

that said the most important things to do are:

keep a small deck, especially try not to have more than one or two 1-blood cost cards or free cards

have a big damage card that can 1-hit KO leshy on the first turn (5 damage until you get the challenge that starts you off with 1 damage on your side, then this card should do 6 damage)

those rules probably arent as important when youre just starting and the challenges arent too bad, but eventually leshy is gonna pull a bifurcated turkey vulture on his first turn when you turn the heat up down the road so itd be wise to get into the rhythm early. im assuming you only have vanilla deck unlocked, so try buffing the wolf with bifurcated or at a good campfire

you want to keep your deck small so you can reliably pull your win card preferably on the first turn, when you have too much useless crap like pelts or extra 1-blood costs, theyre going to be pulled in your starting hand and you wont be able to do enough damage in time.

its wise to have at least two 1-Hit-KO win cards to prepare for the prospector since he wipes your board after phase one, and having a backup is valuable when you cant trim down your deck enough

try to avoid map nodes that give you cards, and try to aim for map nodes that will take away cards (or otherwise wont give you new ones). use the campfire to try and get rid of cards you dont want, try to fail cave challenges, dont buy pelts from trapper (buy his knife instead if you can), etc. if a campfire doesnt kill your card you can also exit to menu and re-enter the game to have it buff your preferred card instead lol. and if youre forced to pick a cost card, go with 3-blood cost. if youre forced to pick a family card, try to get one that you can fuse with your win card at mycos. again, you can always exit/re-enter start menu to see what your other options are

that said, ive started doing something on my own that i havent seen mentioned anywhere, and its making sure to use an item in battle if backpack is your next node, to prevent yourself from getting packrats from having a full inventory. im sure theres a strat where you can get a bunch of rats to fuse at mycos but it isnt worth it imo

that, and also try to have at least one item that can instantly kill/remove a card from leshy's board before you fight final boss leshy, like the hook, trapper knife, or scissors. ideally you want to kill his moleman so you can use your KO card before he pulls out prospector and wipes your board and things get hairy. there is a guaranteed backpack node before you fight leshy, you can actually exit and re-enter game to make sure you get the item you want if you dont feel bad about it lol (magickal bleach works against the moleman too but you have to unlock this)

getting your KO card is easier once you unlock the Blood deck (its the first you unlock i believe, after 1-2 challenges) cause it gives you a goat and moose! try to buff that moose at least once, maybe give the goat a good sigil like undying, fecundity or hoarder (hoarder can be a lifesaver if your deck is too big, its the sigil magpie has) or otherwise you can sacrifice the mole to the goat at an early sacrifice stone

[definitelynotshouting]

helloooo friend :D !! tis i, bug anon

saw you weren't doing great from previous asks, hope whtever is happening gets better :(

my college searching thing is going a bit (?) better BUT i have major concerns about being discriminated about at the university my parents want me to go to which sucks :/

in other news, i accidentally told a customer "happy valentines gay! :)" and she was like "???? thanks ?" I WAS MORTIFIED DUDE

also! if you don't mind, could you tell me a bit abt your religion/who you worship? the only reason i would ask is bc i saw your prayer thing for jellie and had never heard of that god/goddess before (i believe she's from Egyptian mythology? idk) anyway if you dont feel like sharing, no worries :D

-🐛

HEY BUG ANON!!! :D thank u for the well-wishes, i really appreciate them a ton!! I hope the college searching goes better, it sounds real rough on your end :((( also AKSNAKDNKS HAPPY VALENTINES GAY....... THATS SO FUCKJNG FUNNY HELP MEEEE if someone said that to me while out and about i would be ecstatic truly KSNDWKNDKSNSJSNS

Sure, i can try and give a quick crash course in kemeticism if you're curious!! (As a general disclaimer to any OTHER kemetics who might see this, im gonna attempt to keep this very layman-friendly, so if i skip nuances in favour of simplifying stuff thats why. I'll leave some resources at the end of this post!)

Uhhh okay so kemetic paganism is a neopagan religion based off of ancient egyptian religious practices. There are a lot of different ways folks practice kemeticism-- such as reconstructionism (or recon; aka strict adherence to the rituals of antiquity), revivalism (adapting ancient rituals and practices into the modern era), and eclecticism (for the sake of simplicity, we'll say this is essentially taking several different practices from many other religions and combining them all into one personal practice). I fall somewhere between revivalism and eclecticism, mostly by virtue of also working with Hermes and Loki, though my practice is primarily kemetic in nature.

In short, i worship the ancient egyptian gods-- my patron, or a god whom i am particularly close with and mainly dedicated to, is the cat goddess Bast (also known as Bastet, although thats actually a mistranslation of her name). Bast is known by many epithets, but one translation of her name is "Lady of the Ointments"; its written with the hieroglyphs for a bas-jar (aka a perfume/ointment jar) and a loaf of bread (the "t" sound). She's a solar goddess associated with protection, is an Iryt Ra (Eye of Ra; Goddesses who protect and nurture the sun god Ra), and like many (and i do mean many) other kemetic gods, also holds ties to fertility. In the past she was depicted as a lioness, then later became associated with the domestic housecat, where she picked up additional ties to motherhood; she also began picking up attributes from close association with Het-hert (Hathor), which resulted in further associations with music, dancing, and the arts. She's often depicted holding an aegis (a collar-like necklace with a deity's head on it) and a sistrum (a musical rattle).

She's a very fierce but loving goddess whom i have been worshipping for the last 11 years :] i also work with other kemetic deities-- of my "personal quintet," as i like to joke, i work with Djehuty (Thoth), Sekhmet, and occasionally Sutekh (Set/Seth) and Heru-wer (Horus the Elder). And, ofc, from outside the kemetic pantheon i work with Hermes and Loki, who happens to be my other patron!!

Im very glad that my formal petition to Bast for Jellie has brought those who have seen it some much-needed comfort, and its nice that its also made some people curious about kemeticism!! If youve got any specific questions, feel free to drop me a line off anon or in dms! :] im always happy to chat!!

Some further reading if you're interested:

Per-Bast (a website dedicated to Bast that holds very good information and resources)

Kemetic Starter Guide

Kemetic FAQ

[ddeongies]

this ended up being way longer than i expected (again) LOL

to start off, i love how they're in this gray area of managing to pick up on each others hints but still not fully on each other's level with things, like there's still a few (really important) things they need to iron out ---relationship status, what they both want out of this, etc. basics really. but they're also at a point where i'd call it inevitable. but at the same time AGH omg. a lovely level of frustration. ryujin thinking the posts yeji made weren't for her....i need to smack her omg.

one thing i really really love about the way you write them (in all your works but i feel its to a greater extent in nmau because it has more time to actually dig in to these things given that its a slowburn) is just this overarching relationship dynamic where all ryujin has to do is say "yes" and yeji will meet her as far as she's willing to let her... which ofc is not to say that there's no effort on ryujin's part, but ive noticed that ryujin tends to be the one that requires more...coaxing so to speak, when you're writing longer stories about them getting together. and i love this! i think it's a very good bit of characterization (for both of them) and it's not exactly the same over all of your works which just makes me love to see it even more than i already do.

the way yeji "places the ball in ryujins court" as you put it, just really hammers it in, the way that yeji will implicitly say "ok, im here, whenever you're ready". it's in the way she stops as soon as ryujin is uncomfortable when they were kissing the first time, in the way she watches and waits for ryujin to come to the bed, these little bits of opening the door but not forcing ryujin into a decision she might not be ready to make. ugh ITS SO GOOD. + like on top of that i think you write yeji in a way where its obvious like.. even though she literally would give ryujin the world if she asked for it, she still will make sure that she herself is feeling okay about everything and that by doing it she's not totally ignoring her own emotional needs + all that. if that makes sense, i feel like the way im phrasing this makes rj seem really passive but THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN u know what i mean, right. like it definitely goes both ways but. yeah. i saw it a lot in balcony au and choreo au as well, just got me thinking a bit. anyway,

some misc stuff from the rest of the chapter:

really great to see how ryujin felt about the events of winter break, i really love ur split povs, u balance each character voice so well.

i love ryujin and yunas friendship in this, i don't think ive mentioned that before but its really good

hwang "fire react" yeji..............

she thinks she's so sneaky, getting yejis number and asking her to model for her sjwhdkfjfk GIRL. and yeji 😭 "oh, youre really gonna..." LMAO

the tension in that whole scene.....delicious omg.....like its hot and heavy and so palpable like you can actually feel how hot it is through the screen. its so good.

they did it! and it only took them 11 chapters wow. i honestly like how this was a bit more on the emotional side rather than outright explicit fucking which like! is still great dont get me wrong, but i think it's very fitting for this particular instance.

"come here, beautiful" i feel normal about this!

yeji getting locked out 😔😔😔 shes so silly. but god ryujins reaction to waking up alone....dude....u gotta talk to yeji abt whwt u want out of this.....

rj talking about how she "cant have yeji the way she wants" DUDE. GET A GRIPPPPP SJES HEAD OVER HEELS FOR U.

this honestly felt very... sequel to the movie couch moment when ryu let her shirt "slip" off her shoulder, only this time they've both somewhat acknowledged the huge mess of attraction between them and so something can actually happen instead of both parties left unsatisfied. i love it i love character and relationship development.

"no, keep going" "im sure" are we even still talking about figure drawing...

yeji ordering basically just chocolate milk...i love her so bad

"sure yeji can be kind of goofy but its charming" u are so....sureee...u just keep telling urself ur not obsessed with her.

yejis focus face…dont get me started...lets just say if she looked at me like that. i would no longer exist.

shoving each other🥹🥹 like i really love how uve written them as "friends first" so to speak, like theyve made a really solid foundation for this budding relationship(if you can call it that yet LOL, ill let them have it though). its so great...its so great...and yeji walking ryu all the way back to her dorm ohhhhh....overall.

very good chapter as always.... definitely looking forward to the next one!! whenever that may be, lol. that and other projects u may be cooking alongside it...thanks as always and take care!

-🖤

long comments like this make me 😈 i’m so ready (i’ll go under a read more tho lol)

i honestly love the point they’re at right now too! they’re somehow on exactly the same page in a way that makes them not be on the same page LOL. like you feel the same way about each other and are assuming the same thing about each other’s feelings!! it is inevitable though isn’t it? someone’s just gotta be a little brave :)

yes yes yes i know what you mean!!! i’m so glad you’ve picked up on and appreciate the way i do the relationship and the characterization there (and that it’s working in general!) you put it really well like, yeji (irl and when i write her) is such a freaking observant person. like you can see the way she watches people, sees when people are uncomfortable, etc. ryu is such an internal and sensitive person and a deep thinker and feeler, and i just love the way those two ways of being match up like “i know how i feel, and i see that you’re figuring yourself out in that way you do, so i’m here for you and i’m gonna be steady through your process” or something idk i’m rambling. but yes! yeji will still protect herself and her own feelings. like, yes, she’s not 100% doing that in feeling that ryu doesn’t want what she wants, but i think part of her can feel the way they really are on the same page (and that ryu would never want to hurt her)

misc stuff!

i love writing this story split pov! when i first came up with  the idea i realized there was no way i could tell the story i wanted to from just one pov. i love having them reflect back on previous chapters but also not on every single thing that happened just the stuff they would naturally be thinking about when we’re back in their heads

i love 2shin…. i love writing hwangshin and 2shin in the same fic my loves

the 🔥 is so important to yeji you have no idea (or maybe you do at this point)

the “oh, you’re really gonna…” like she was right to assume what she was being invited for but still LMAO

i love writing tension…..i love it

just took them like 50k but they finally made it we cheered 🥳 and yeah! i really want this fic to stay M rated i think it just fits the vibes better than E (the next scene might be a liiiil more smutty but still they are Pure)

ryu feels normal about it too and so do i yeji is so 😵‍💫

yeji would get locked out LOL (and yeah ryu pls get a grip girl she likes you so so bad and has for months)

yes!! a similar situation (with the same mastermind), but they’ve honestly come so far since then like they’re truly in a different phase of their relationship now :’) it opens so many doors for them

we’re not not talking about figure drawing ;)

yeji’s sweet tooth is so so dear to me (and chocolate milk is also a great pre workout drink for our little jock)

ryu is genuinely obsessed with her they’re gross! and they will get grosser!

yeji’s focused face is….. let me not speak actually

they’re CUTE they’re friends but also a lil more than friends but also who knows and i honestly love it for them! like no matter what there’s no way they would ever just have a physical relationship when they like each other this much even if neither of them is ready to fully make that leap yet

thank you for such a long and lovely comment as always!! made my day/week/idk how time works anymore is it finally friday thank god

[dakotafinely]

heyyy !! i saw ur reqs were open and im literally about to binge everything youve written- and i hope whatever happened you’re okay now !!

im so sorry if you dont take x readers but may i request the rise turtles (separately ofc) with a reader who says the corniest, cheesiest, mind numbingly stupid pick up lines

like they think they’re safe until the reader starts spewing pick up lines at the most random moments

thank you if u decide to write this !!

Poiuhgfghjkjhnbghui hello! Thanks, the thing happened months ago I'm just super slow at responding to things oiujhjolkjh but still thanks! I hope you enjoy your reading binge!

I don't really do a lot of X Reader requests (mostly because I don't get that many) but I assure you I'm never opposed to them! Plus how can I resist such an idea, as a corny cheesy dork myself I must represent all the corny cheesy dorks out there!

== == ==

Leo:

Say what you wish but this man is already a corny cheesy pun master

I mean have you HEARD his puns? He is a man of the corn(y lines)

So he's actually very good at matching your energy most of the time

Heck sometimes he can even guess what you're gonna say before you get to even say it

Tho sometimes, in the moments where he truly doesn't expect it, you can get him red as a tomato

Honestly, why do you think he likes to use cheesy and corny pick up lines? Because he's a romantic little sap who wants someone to match his energy and romance him that's why

He'll cover his face and smile wide when he blushes hard

"Ya can't just catch me off guard like that you know?" He jokes

Bc truly, he adores it that you can keep him on his toes and guessing sometimes

Donnie

Complete opposite of Leo, but are we surprised by this?

Either it goes over his head by taking whatever you said literally (which you find adorkable let's be real)

Or he rolls his eyes and tells you you're a sap

But if you stop? If you stop bc you believe your annoying him or you've had a bad day and don't wanna deal with his reactions?

"Are you okay? What's wrong, you haven't made a pun and you've been here for at least ten minutes."

Worried, he won't show it, but he will pry and make sure your okay

Bc yeah, he doesn't really care for puns or cheesy pick up lines, as their not his thing in the slightest

He still likes that you do them, their your thing, and it's what makes him love you, even if he doesn't admit it

And trust me, he'd probably rather die then admit it

Mikey

Mikey either giggles from them or smiles and rolls his eyes depending on the level of cheesiness

He loves you! And he loves that you love him! And he loves that you express it in a adorkable way!

What more can he say? He'll try and reciprocate it but he's not quite the pun master the way Leo is

Still, if he does and you two get the ball rolling back and forth his heart flutters with joy and that's the thing to keep him smiling for months alone

His favorites are your arty based puns, as they often come with a little doodle or are a left behind sticky note he can keep as a little token of you in his room

Plus their the easiest for him to reciprocate too as an art nerd

Just a lil cheesy doodle with a pun based pick up line and boom! You two are giggling like dorks in love

Tho he's most frequent response is often just a string of giggles and hugging you tightly

Raph

Raph is a very big pun lover as well as pun despiser

While he may laugh and rolls his eyes at everyone else's puns, if he makes one without thinking he just goes :| (contemplates life choices)

Tho in truth if he does get a laugh or giggle out of you with a pun, he'll smile wide

And he loves your puns and cheesy pick up lines so deeply

He is a blushy boy I refuse criticism

While he may roll his eyes and scoff lightly

It's SO obvious that he truly enjoys it from the blush on his face and smile spreading on his beak

He doesn't really ever return the energy you throw at him but he does always accept it and embrace it

He honestly enjoys clever puzzle based pick up lines

Or any pick up line or pun that makes him think for a minute

== == ==

This was cute! Thanks for the ask, I always enjoy 'em! Hope you have a lovely day, afternoon, and goodnight!

[blazingphantasm]

holy SHIT (signature coda catchphrase) YOU LOVE VRISKA???????? SHE'S SO PERFECT AND AMAZING I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HER DID YOU KNOW THAT DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER THOUGHTS ON HER

ALSO JADE I GET WHY YOU LIKED VRISJADE VRISKA AND JADE ARE MY 2 FAVOURITE HS CHARACTERS THEY'RE SO PERFECT AND COOL AND WOULD BE A FUCKING AMAZING POWER COUPLE (btw here is a few more thoughts about them if you still like them....)

anyway hello!! you followed me for a WHILE on my previous blog and i never followed back though youre really cool i should say hello to you more now o7

oh hi there

this is gonna be a doozy so: (also i will be using my text quirk)

yes tumblr user holy-shit-kris-deltarune. i do indeed like the best character in homestuck that is jade harley and no thats not an opinion thats FACT. jade harley IS the best homestuck character. also despite vriska unfortunately not being on the top three objectively best homestuck characters list yes i do enjoy her a lot. i have some issues with where her arc WENT, but as a character i still love her. (my m8in issues with her resurrection invalid8ting her previous two arcs as (vriska) and during the whole jack debacle. i used to be really sour abt how inconclusive her ending was, but tbh after reading the epilogues i dont mind it so much.) anyways i CLEARLY have vriska br8inrot like she m8de me see spiders for what they are (FUCKING AWESOME), infected the way i texted (i picked uo the eight punctuation for a bit, use ::::} as an emoticon, use the eight repl8cement for “(h)ay” sounds), and the other usual homestuck fan whos into vriska shit.

i never really thought of vrisjade until your posts and at that point it was like “they would have the perfect dynamic” and “why have i never shipped these two before”. also i do remember reading one vrisjade fic you were talking abt and really liking it. like its still not an otp for me, but when it comes to vriska ships yeah its either vrisjade or junevris. (i still enjoy most vriska ships purely because of her tho. thats how much br8inrot i had for her)

oh shit oh beans. did i not talk abt jade harley yet? the best character in homestuck? well i am now! shes a poor traumatized girl and deserves the world. like most jade fans i do NOT like candy timeline jade, but im neutral over meat timeline jade. but thats besides the point. i fell in love with her character right away and while reading through it, yes ofc i began to ship jadedave like the b8sic bitch i am (they are very cute together and i like them a lot. im just saying that im not unique) i am still very upset that jade like after act 5 does almost nothing other than going grimbark. like hussie teases jaddave with the davesprite situation, m8kes her go feral the instant she arrives in the new timeline, then what- she goes on a dead adventure with calliope? that while characterizes her very very well doesnt result in much for her? she was robbed. like she deserved so much better. AND SHE BARELY INTERACTS WITH ANYONE FROM THE METEOR CAST AFTER ACT 5 AS WELL. I DONT THINK ROSE AND JADE EVER HAVE A CONSVERSATION WITH JUST THEM. ugh, gripes aside with how she was handled, shes the best. (i will not get into hs2- i will not get into hs2- i will not i refuse)

um other than that hi!! yeah i followed your previous blog because i thought you were a cool person. i mean its literally kris deltarune and theyre into homestuck? hell yeah! i dont get what people see in me as cool but sure ill t8ke it! thanks!

[coldvampire]

on nines' wiki for fic stuff, have some copy-paste of me going Feral about him and kat in discord

crying thinking abt how genuinely kat will compliment her man & how inadvertantly Serious she gets bc she really does sincerely mean it & it would be easier to process if she was actually doing it to fluster him but no sometimes she just gets into a certain mood

also the idea of her like hgjhkj absolutely backing him 100% when other barons push back on shit like this, knowing that her reputation is in a very strange place where too much will be seen as in poor form but not really caring bc she knows how to exude enough bad vibes to get people to shut up lmao. his coterie might feel the same as she does but they dont have the same effect on audiences, the ventrue aura of 'listen to me or Else' comes in handy and he gfhjk doesnt quite know how to feel abt it being used for him lmao

she does love how much he cares tho,,, its a very sexy quality its not smth shes used to. she might not completely Agree with him all the time but the way she completely trusts him overrides that so it doesnt actually Matter. & i think she also sort of uses that as a better moral compass than the one thats been trained into her, like inherently she sees herself as a semi-bad person bc of how shes able to detach from certain decisions and thats just not how he operates & she has a lot of respect for that (& probably also misses the fact that if we're comparing traumas hers are a lot more. uh. Direct lmfao.)

also god love her but she is Not a Car Girl TM. she will sit there in the garage trying her hardest to follow along & ask questions but rly truly, she has no idea wtf he is saying to her. she recognizes that he is talking about parts and seems Excited & shes just glad it requires minimal thought on her end beyond very basic open ended questions. im pretty sure he thinks she understands a Lot more about mechanical stuff than she actually does bc shes very good at picking out important words and repeating them gfhjjfdgfhg shes not TRYING to bullshit interest she just doesnt have the heart to tell him she have 0 comprehension of anything he said just now. he is so stressed so much she wants him to be happy & relaxed whenever theres an opportunity for it :(

also he listens to her interests gfhgjh even if theyre significantly less technical lmao. she likes dissecting the manufactured drama & relationships of reality tv and stuff like that bc it reminds her of a Much lower stakes version of kindred politics & the pettiness is entertaining to her. he also gets to hold her while they watch on the couch or in bed while she goes & picks apart all of the 'fighting' and production tampering & he loves hearing her talk in general but its kind of fascinating to him how she can take something so shallow & dissect it, loves how Perceptive she is when it comes to people in particular. i think sometimes if she's maybe squirming a bit much or maybe if he just feels like it he'll offer to paint her nails. she's really on top of keeping up a manicure but doesnt always do acrylics & i think he would actually get fairly into the fact that 1. its essentially just Hand Holding for a reason and 2. it requires a decently steady hand & attention to detail so it doesnt get messed up and as someone who restores bikes with tiny intricate mechanical parts, hes surprisingly well suited to this. i bet he would do little designs too if he had the tools for it. it just feels good to do something for her :')

she knows jewellery even if she doesnt know fuck all about mechanics. firmly believe she just buys him stuff all the time & shes stupidly good at nailing what someone's preferred style is. like i dont think hes ever had someone who just casually gets so many things bc 'i saw this and thought of you' and again acts like its nbd??? because it is?? shes like yeah ofc why Wouldnt i? & tbh i dont even think that the gifts stop with him either once the rest of his coterie realizes shes cool and not a camarilla mole lmao they also start getting little things. jewellery keychains shirts Whatever, all usually just dropped into their hands mid-conversation with very little acknowledgment from her. if you mention youve had your eye on a bracelet or smth she'll just grab it without thinking. if Really pressed she'll probably brush it off as 'i wasnt spending my money anyway' (girl likes to take cash when she feeds from the wealthier Reverse Orphans TM especially if theyre also cheating gfhjhj) but rly. she just enjoys making people happy, which is also something her adores about her. its the casual way its just ingrained into her personality & how she doesnt make a huge deal about it, its just how she is.

ofc he always makes sure to take care of her back, she clearly expresses affection in gift giving and acts of service but she likes quality time & physical touch for herself. which is absolutely okay by his book, he was never even close to being as touch starved as she was at any point whereas she went literal Years without being touched in some way that wasnt negative or hurtful in some form. its overwhelming for her initially & she doesnt really know how to Ask for contact but by god she gets it through him. he's always loved holding her; she just seems to tuck in Perfectly into his arms. if she's maybe getting too overwhelmed with that then he's also good to switch gears to maybe just having a hand on her back or leg or holding her hand bc there's a period right when they first officially get together where she's still trying to level herself out after so much isolation. & he's such a constant reassuring presence, it almost doesn't feel real.

tbh if he wasn't as stable as he was im not sure she would have been able to heal properly after killing her sire, she had spent so long tethered to that man and shaping her life around running from him that she didnt quite know what to Do with herself when he was gone. nines didnt explicitly provide a 'purpose' for her life, he just gave her a place to rest and recuperate while she figured herself out and started to understand the fact that she was finally safe. & that's another thing, her sire might have been a genuine threat to the point she didnt want to risk his safety, but everything else? i doubt there would be any stopping his protection instincts. sometimes thats a concern to her, but again, she needed to be with someone who would be able to be that type of support & strength while she finally released literal decades of repressed trauma & a constant fight or flight state. he cant protect her from her own mind, but he can put a stop to any outside threats. she's never had that. he might have been abandoned by a ton of people in his life, but she would have taken that over the active harm/passive allowance of harm. understanding that, to him, she is someone worth protecting? its a wild learning curve.

im also sure theres some angst to be found in his history of being abandoned + her former commitment fear that evolved into the constant need to Be Around Him but also consider: the amount of comfort he would finally have knowing theres a 99% chance if theyre at home he just has to walk into the next room to see her (assuming she isnt already closer) & how she openly admits to wanting him on all levels, like shes not just gonna be someone else who walks out of his life. absolutely her favourite spot in the world is curls up beside him, like thats where she considers Home to be and ohh man. i think that just stirs smth up in him internally. ofc he cares about a lot of people and a lot of people care about him back but this is Different. in retrospect, knowing what she went through just to be able to sit here with him? even though there was a chance she would be rejected for not being transparent with her situation prior & never fully committing (even if she otherwise would have)? knowing he might be Too Hurt to let her back in and trying it anyway & letting him take the lead on the pacing and decide what it was He needed, that's insane. but she wanted to be with him so badly it was a risk she was willing to take on, which is telling bc her whole thing was caution to the point of being detrimental to herself.

it's like,,, he knows how it feels to have followers. but just like he did with her, she was able to peel back layers and layers of public-facing personality traits & see who he was in the privacy of his own home, and Still wanted him. imo even though he knows how to command a room, he's still not 100% positive what it is about Him Specifically that makes him so special to everyone else aside form being the guy who was in the right place at the right time to make a reputation for himself. but she's like. the one person where he actually feels like he maybe understand why she looks at him that way, & its still a nebulous feeling, but its more Concrete than what he gets from starry-eyed fledglings. kat is not and has never been someone who gives people more credit than they deserve or who blindly follows people. she's harsh and she has to have a Reason to do that.

if theres ever a situation where she has to drink blood outside of her restriction, you know he's gonna be the one to take care of her. she's not a fan of it, she's in pain and she feels gross and doesn't want him to Watch the whole episode, but why would he be put off by it? they both came from big families with plenty of kids, the threshold for being grossed out by that stuff is really goddamn high for them both lmao. also she looks completely Miserable curled up on the floor like that, if she needs someone to hold her hair and rub her back a bit then okay! she will have that its what she deserves! she's gonna resist a little at first bc she was always the one doing that for her sisters being the oldest with no mother/mother figure for most of their lives but like with a lot of stuff he does, she will relax and melt into the touch after a bit and start to physically decompress. if she's up for up she will also be carried to whichever soft surface she desires, no questions asked.

theyre so domestic it Hurts. fully believe the only actual regret she has about the relationship is missing the boat on them both being human & getting to live that normal suburban family life bc she know she would have completely abandoned her Rich Husband goals & it would have been fine in the end + her dad would have loved him. theres a very deep part of her psyche with a list of names that would have sounded fantastic for theoretical children like fdgfhgjh god. she is so far gone for him, 'vampires dont love' my ASS. not to be cheesy but he's It for her, even when theyre in a rough spot she literally cannot imagine being around anyone else or giving herself to someone so fully like that and trusting that they won't use that against her or shatter her heart in the process.

i just gfsfdhgfrwhgqsahxgfghgfejgwdshhjgrf theyre so in love. SO in love.

[nachtwaechterin]

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them. [Harley Keener] (im not sure if thats how its meant to work but tell me your favourite harley hc!)

well thats how its meant to work now bestie im sorry i dont make the rules

hmmmm harley keener hcs...... idk i dont have my version of harley fleshed out as well as i'd like so initially i decided to make up a new one but you know what you're gonna get my fave too jkldjkldskjl

my fave:

harley being enby. they wanna embrace the genderpunk and "my gender/pronouns are whatever's funniest" and try around with gender expressions that aren't just feminine or feminine-leaning androgyny but she gets too much dysphoria from being perceived as a guy. but maybe one day once it's more secure in its gender identity!!! fae's gender presentation will always lean fem cottagecore vibes tho.

also i just love the whole "i love men the way a man would but im more of a woman but actually im neither" thing she has going on

now a new one as a treat <3

harley is short-sighted. that has been mentioned in Coffee and Chamomile, tho i do wanna use it more in other fics, too.

harley used to wear glasses but it used to lose them or break them a lot—forgot them in locker rooms, when it slept over at its aunt's (josie ofc hehe), and there were probably a few bullying incidents where her glasses broke too. their sight never was so bad that they needed glasses to manage, it just helped them see stuff in the distance a little better. but by the time harley goes to mit, fae gets frequent headaches from squinting so much so fae gets glasses and tries out contact lenses. i can imagine that they fuck around with colored contact lenses too.

just imagien harley deciding to prank someone she just met and slowly shifting her eye color from blue-green to gray to hazel to gold brown to almost black to see how long it takes the others to notice

but peter notices, he always notices. he's the first one to cal her out on this actually, and its certainly not because he spends way more time staring gayly and longingly into harley's eyes than he'd care to admit, no siree

[justcallmesolll]

Silly little Greystar AU i made a while ago but i wish to share it here :33

Yeen rambles #8

ok so grey is friends with fire in this au, Redtail is grey's mentor. Red gets killed, grey is sad, but he moves on. then Lionheart dies and grey is very sad about this, somehow tho, he is able to pick himself up again. THEN HE ACCIDENTALLY KILLS WHITECLAW and he blames himself. he can't possibly recover from this, and hes kinda just there as a depressed blob. fire is sympathetic to his friend, but he reminds grey that this has happened before and he can still do stuff to help the clan out. grey does so reluctantly and then meets Silverstream and that kinda makes him so much happier. he helps out a little more around the clan while also hunting for silver, etc. he becomes much friendlier and sociable. him and fire have their argument, and they fall out and they stop talking for a while. in this period, Silverstream dies and grey is absolutely destroyed. he ignores almost everyone ESPECIALLY fireheart since fire isn't exactly sympathetic towards him since he told Grey it was a bad idea to be seeing silver so greystripe hates him for that. he decides to keep his kits in tc, starting things up with rc. he's particularly nasty to fire for getting away with things that grey would never. he says that bluestar was picking favourites, and actually becomes friends with Longtail. He does the little things, like snitch on fire for meeting with princess, etc. when cloudkit was accepted into the clan, greystripe is fuming. his kits were belittled and everyone resented him for it but cloudkit gets it easyy and everyones ok when fireheart does it?? hes also mad about the fact that fire tells bluestar when his own apprentice was ready to become a warrior.

when the whole thing with tigerclaw being exiled happens, fire is made deputy and grey is beyond pissed. so when cloudtail gets his name and the other apprentices dont, since grey is very close with longtail, he's understandably mad. so HE organises the thing with brightpaw, longtail and swiftpaw. with longs permission ofc, they all go to fight the dogs, but realise that they're severely outnumbered. grey and longtail manage to climb a tree in time but swiftpaw and brightpaw go for the same tree, leaving bright to the dogs. immediately, greystripe and longtail try to help, they all survive, but bright is scarred the same, longtail loses his tail (get it im so funny) swiftpaw has horrible scars on his flank, and is missing some of his ear, and greystripe has scars around his muzzle and a long one on his back. they returned to camp where they were treated in the medicine den. fireheart insists the apps be given warrior names since their injuries were the worse and they were pretty sure they both weren't gonna make it. so bluestar gives bright paw the name lost face and swiftpaw the name stolenpelt. AND after grey and long have healed, she changes their names too. greystripe is now scarredstripe, and longtail is stubtail (we love our ablist qween bluestar!!!!) undertandably, grey and long are super pissed. grey fights fire over this, telling him to knock some sense into bluestar and change their names. fire says he cant do anything but grey doesnt belive him and is super annoyed. scarredstripe and stubtail now, really push for lostface and stolenpelt to become full warriors, not left to rot in the elders den. scarredstripe takes lostface to train with instead of cloudtail, because he resents cloud for being firehearts kin, and being literally the reason they are all horribly scarred.

so bluestar still has that thing going on with rc since grey decided to keep his kits in tc, which are now apps, featherpaw is mentored by fireheart, which grey hates. stormpaw is mentored by whitestorm. (He menored two at a time cuz y not) bluestar is convinced that it was a rc patrol that attacked them, so she planns the ambush on rc instead of wc. fireheart goes and tells them about the ambush, and how he wants peace, etc. but is CAUGHT by scarredstripe fire however, is unaware of this. so scarred goes straight to bluestar and snitches on fireheart. blue is obviously pissed bc she has her whole "everyone is a traitor" thing going on. she says shes still gonna ambush rc at fourtrees, fire doesnt know this tho, he thinks his plan is still working. so when ravenpaw comes to deliver the message, blue says she'll think about it (jk!!!! she's lying!!!!!) she brings a hefty amount of warriors to fourtrees and as soon as she arrives she orders everyone to attack. fireheart is extremely distraught about this and tells bluestar to think about their offer. bluestar snaps at him and says she knows he planned this meeting with rc. everyone is fighting, lostface and stolenpelt included since grey insisted that they could hold themselves in battle. instead the scene that bluestar has in the border skirmish happens now, but its scarredstripe who breaks up misty, stone and bluestar. hes about to fight them off, but fireheart steps in and tells them how bluestar is their mother. IN FRONT OF FUCKING EVERYONE. so anyways now literally all of rc and tc know. the battle was gonna escalate horribly but all of a sudden rc retreats. tc think they have won but NOPE. they retreated bc the dogs came and crashed the party. tc scrambles back to their clan immediately, where fire is demoted as deputy for tellin rc about the ambush and actually making things worse. she says that scarredstripe was right about a lot of things. lostface and stolenpelt can fight as warriors, dogs attacked him and stubtail, not an rc patrol like she thought, (even tho fire already said they were dogs she dont care) and she admits that fireheart did get special treatment, bc she trusted him, but she says that he cant just waltz around doing whatever he wants. SO THEN SHE MAKES SCARREDSTRIPE THE DEPUTY. now that he's deputy, he orders multiple patrols to go out and scan the territory. the scene where fireheart find the prey trail happens, and he goes to tell bluestar about it but scarred is liek "nuh uh gotta tell me buddy" so fire tells him his whole theory about how darkstripe told tigerstar aboout the rc battle and thats when he made the trail. so scarredstripe tells bluestar, but obviously takes all the credit. (absolute goofer) so bluestars like "what r we gonna do then?" and fire pushes himself in and tells her about his plan to lure the dogs off the gorge. so blue is like "ok if ur plan works u can be deputy again." so the same thing happens as it does in the books, fire jumps to save her bc he wants her to survive, (SPOILER ALERT: SHE DOESNT!!!!) so fire carries her body back to camp with misty and stone. since grey is lead now, he firstly exiles darkstripe for all he did yk. he also changes lostface, stolenpelt and stubtail's names to brightheart, swiftclaw, and longleap. silly cant change his name tho since hes literally leader L. he also makes longleap the deputy, god knows he deserves it. so he goes to the moonstone with cinderpelt and gets his silly little lives from bluestar, redtail, lionheart, whiteclaw, oakheart, yellowfang, spottedleaf, brindleface and silverstream so that whole thing happens.

wow that was long. this is literally only part one, and coming from someone who has only read the first arc, ill add more to it but this is the basic premise of it. oh also longleap and scarredstripe r mates bc i said so yea.

[uncloseted]

hi Christina. Hope you dont mind another adhd question but Im curious to know if anxiety can "combat" concentration issues? Going into a new job has made me realize that the only time I can truely focus is is when Im crippled by the anxiety of what would happen if I didnt get the task done. OFC I dont want to live this way and am seeking professional help but with how backed up the health system is it will be a while before I can see someone

100%. This is one of the reasons a lot of people get diagnosed with anxiety first and then the diagnosis is changed to ADHD. It seems to be especially common in people with inattentive ADHD and women with ADHD.

What you're describing actually has a name (which I didn't know until today, so thank you!). It's called "Last-Minute Propulsion". It's when there's a ​fast-approaching deadline that helps a person with ADHD to focus and complete the task because the immediacy of the negative consequences of not meeting the deadline finally outweigh the issues the person is having with starting the assignment.

There are a few different things that may cause issues with starting to work on the assignment in the first place or getting the assignment finished once they're started. Task initiation, distraction, a sense of paralysis or feeling overwhelmed, an impaired ability to perceive time, and a fear of failure can all create this issue where there's a task that needs to get done, but the person just can't do it. Luckily, there are a few things you can try to combat these issues:

Break the task down into as many small, manageable pieces as you can, and then put each task on a checklist. These tasks can be as simple as "open computer", "open Word Document", "write name at top of assignment". Check each task off as you complete it. Having manageable tasks will help to prevent the feeling of being overwhelmed, having a list will help you get back on task if you've been distracted, and checking the tasks off will help you to feel like you're making progress and not failing at doing the task.

Tell yourself you're going to do just one thing on the task list. Usually when people struggle with task initiation, they just need to get over the hurdle of doing one thing. Once you open your computer, it's much easier to open the Word document and start typing. But thinking about "doing the assignment" as a whole can feel overwhelming. Just doing one task feels manageable and reasonable, and then you can keep going if you feel like it's possible for you. And if not, at least you got one thing done.

Set timers. If you struggle with "time blindness" (not being able to tell how much time something will take or how much time has passed), timers can be really useful. You can use them in one of two ways. The first is to just set a timer to remind you how much time has passed- a chime that goes off every 30 minutes, for example. The second is to use a method to keep you on track. I like the Pomodoro method: pick one, very specific task, then set a timer for 25 minutes and work only on that one task until the timer goes off. Do your best to really focus on that one task without distractions. If you finish the task, move on to the next task on your list. When the timer goes off, take a 5 minute break and then start again. This will prevent you from burning out because it gives you breaks, and will make the time you're actually working more efficient.

Limit distractions when doing a task. I know this one sounds obvious, but make sure that your work area is clean and organized, with nothing distracting in your field of view. Turn your phone on silent or work mode, mute notifications on your computer, block websites on your internet browser if you need to. Whatever will help you concentrate just on the thing in front of you.

Have necessary distractions or stimulation modifiers. This seems counter-intuitive given what I just said, but some people with ADHD need just the right amount of stimulation in order to work. If it's too quiet or they don't have enough going on around them, it's also hard to work. Some people with ADHD need music playing in the background, need to work in a public space, or need to have something to fidget with in order to keep them working. Others need everything to be totally silent, so noise-cancelling headphones are a good option. Figure out the amount of stimulation that's optimal for you and try to find ways to incorporate it into your work life.

Remember that anything that's worth doing is worth doing poorly. This one is for my fellow perfectionists out there. Things don't need to get done 100%. They don't need to be done well. They just need to get done, because not getting something done is much worse than getting something done that isn't great or that needs some tweaking. It's okay to give 80% instead of 100%, especially on things that aren't really that important.

Reward yourself when you get something done. This doesn't work for me, but for a lot of people, the idea of a reward once they finish a task helps them motivate to do the task.

All people are different, so some of these things may help you while others might feel totally impossible for you to do. That's totally normal and totally okay. You have to find what works for you.

[menalez]

Same Anon re: butch rep or lack thereof in queer love ultimatum:

Do you have a link/tag for your posts about the show? I didn’t see the butch rep post and I’d love read what other radfems think. I scrolled back but couldn’t find it.

And yeah I agree pretty much everyone except Xander, yoly (although she’s not 100% innocent,) and Sam suck to varying degrees, I only singled Vanessa out because the ask was about gender identities and Vanessa identifies as pansexual instead of lesbian. I felt bad for the other lesbians because they were to my knowledge, lesbians attracted to women, but technically dating self admitted non-women. Toxicity/drama wise, I pretty much agree with the general consensus on Mildred/Lexi/Rae/Aussie/tiff/Vanessa so I’m not going to add anything abt them.

My only unpopular opinion is about mal. Mal doesn’t necessarily suck per say, I think she’s a decent person and she’s super fine. but like Vanessa, her sudden reversal into wanting to propose seems motivated by wanting to “win,” instead of a genuine desire to commit to yoly. The fact that she suddenly started picking up after herself around the house shows she was capable of doing it all along but was content to let yoly pick up after her. The way she is motivated by wanting to win is a lot less obvious and less malicious than Vanessa, because she does care about yoly to some degree and she might not even consciously realize her motives. But I don’t think her intentions are genuine, I think she’s a real smooth talker towards both Lexi, yoly, and the camera/audience. I empathize with her a lot because I’m a poc lesbian (femme Indonesian though, not black butch,) and if a white woman showed up with a real chance of taking my girlfriend away I’d be feeling all types of old insecurities and might feel the overwhelming urge to win. I might be reading into it, but I just think if everyone wants to call Vanessa out for her sudden change of heart, it might be good to acknowledge that Mal is kind of doing something similar, but a lot less clumsily. I know she said she eventually wanted to get married after her finances were taken care of, but after the finance conversation w/yoly, I’m a bit suspicious about whether she was actually taking concrete steps to make that reality happen, or if she was using that as a delaying excuse. I would hate for her and her bestie to spin the narrative that yoly was some sort of gold digger who abandoned Mal to fall in love with Xander’s financial statements, because it kind of looked like they were implying that in the last episode. I had a soft spot for Mal, but I think I if the threat of xander were to go away, Mal would go back to her old, not-picking-up, marriage and kids delaying self.

this was my post about it. no one besides me rly shared their thoughts on that tho, to me i just thought it was concerning and indicative of a larger trend & commonly held idea nowadays that gnc = u must be non-binary or trans somehow. it all goes back to "cis = you identify as the gender you were born as" and gender simply being the societally & culturally ascribed roles based on ur sex... based on that logic ofc butch lesbians would not fit in and ofc many gnc people dont "feel" like theyre women (if female) or men (if male) but rather simply exist in the body that theyre in and dont conform to the gender roles pushed onto them.

i actually rly thought tiff was terrible at first but surprisingly, out of the bunch shes not the worst. definitely aussie (big disappointment. was into her at first), vanessa (also disappointment. shes rly beautiful too), mildred, and lexie are the ones i really didnt like. i loved mal, xander, & rae the most. im at a stage where im not 100% sure about yoly i mean she seems really lovely but the fact that mal expressed these insecurities holding her back from marriage & yoly basically confirmed every single one of them was like. really sad to see. and seeing mal cry so much was heartbreaking too ? like poor baby mal i want to just hug her and find a way to cheer her up.

i do agree w u tho that mal wanting to get married doesnt make much sense. i mean yoly basically confirmed every fear mal had that was keeping her from getting married to begin with!! if that were me id be like hell no im not proposing to u, if my main concerns were 1. im not financially ready and 2. my partner falls in love with everyone quickly and in the same way so why would *i* be the one, and then my partner went and proved she wants someone with more money + falls in love so fast (2 WEEKS!?!??) then id just say no way maam! we'll get married when u address my concerns! BUT that said, u made some decent points. i also was skeptical of the sudden flip to wanting to get married to yoly & the sudden meeting all of yoly's desires, like when someone is acting that way u rly dont know if theyre genuinely that way or if theyre just doing it to win. im skeptical of those things being consistent things too.

i got a similar sense to u there but also i generally just dont believe anyone is 100% genuine on the show, maybe the most genuine has been rae or even yoly bc yoly has been pretty direct & open w her feelings despite the issues it was causing. xander seems sweet but i definitely thought it was odd that she told yoly shes in love w her and then when vanessa asked she said she doesnt love yoly .. oh also sam is just amazing. i loved seeing her grow enough to stand up for herself and speak up unapologetically. i was super disappointed by aussie tbh she was like one of the women i was rly rooting for bc idk asian butches just have my heart bc they make me think of my lovely gf yanno but she rly let me down and was imo the absolutely worst of the bunch, even tho the one who would get shit on all the time is vanessa (who i think is not even as bad)

also lexie is annoying as hell and i think rae should dump her bc i was just getting some red flags from how lexie was acting ngl

[69misato69]

Hello I hope everything's OK! I don't have a request at the moment but I would like to ask for some Advice, if you don't mind.

I also write every now and then, but it is mostly limited to AMAB individuals. I find the genitals a tad bit hard to describe for AFAB bodies. Since you write them often, I hope this doesn't come off as weird I just truly enjoy your works, could you spare a few tips with me?

Thank you in advance, wishing you a great day or night!

hii !! yes yes i dont mind at all. if anything im flattered 😭 i will answer just based on what i like to read and write, but ofc that is subjective and im sure it varies from person to person. anyways here it goes <3

for referring to afab genitals i usually never use the term vagina unless there is medical talk or sth of the sort going on. which leaves me using pussy or cunt most of the time. pussy has some slight funny, whimsical element to it at least to me, so that one i usually use for less serious stuff.

for something more intense and heated, if i dont want a goofy element at all, then i use cunt. also for smut i think it sounds heavier and strengthens the effect and therefore it is mostly my go-to.

an honorable mention is core, i dont use it often but it has a nice ring to it. the downside is that it is hard to reuse in a single fic. to me its a term i use the first time i mention a character's genitals, usually with gods/primordial beings etc bc core really fits them and creates a nice atmosphere, and then i kind of alternate between other words rather than carry on with core.

have i seen fics with core being used as a primary descriptor, reused all throughout the fic and enjoyed them ? absolutely but they were all very well-written and i personally struggle with it.

now for the parts obviously we have the clit, i dont think i ever write clitoris and mostly just clit. i like the usage of "bundle of nerves" or anything along the lines of that as well, especially when a character is overstimulated and/or sensitive and you want to draw attention to that.

overall for the clit swollen, puffy, sensitive are my personal favorites. engorged is also a good one, especially when a character is afab and trans, since it is a word commonly used for dicks it creates a nice gender euphoric narrative

then for the lips, using lips is a bit tricky bc if you are mixing a certain section with kissing and fingering simultaneously for instance, it could create some confusion abt whether you are referring to the top set or the bottom set. i like folds, especially with actions like separate, unveil, uncover and so on.

then of course the hole itself. i dont refer to the hole often and instead mention that the other character slides their fingers/dick/toy(s) in and it is easy to understand that im referring to the hole.

fundamentally its very different from fingering an asshole since there are more parts, more area and more movement on the surface and not just inside the hole. from the clit down to right above the place where the asshole begins, sliding a finger along that vertical area, rubbing/drawing circles on/around/over the clit.

for an afab character, being played with or fingered is much more than just preparation for penetration, so i like describing it in heavy detail and reading it that way as well.

when it comes to penetration we have thrusting, slamming into, drilling, filling up, stuffing... unless it is a quickie or a rushed session, i try to have a progression of:

"slow thrusts" - "character A picks up the pace" - "A starts slamming into B"

important to note that the other character will have physical responses to being fucked harder. clenches around them, sucks them in, their walls tighten around them, they pulsate, twitch, shake, tremble etc. vaginal stimulation and orgasms are very intense and they affect you as a whole so its good to keep that in mind.

the readers will also enjoy not just seeing the penetration but also how much it messes up the character and alters their body temporarily.

during the entire thing i like mentioning that its warm bc it really is an oven in there. wetness is also very important. drenched, soaked, sopping wet, dripping, dribbling, overflowing are usually terms i use.

i dont think im missing anything but feel free to ask again if there is anything specific you need. i hope this was helpful take care <3

[fraener]

9/19/24

i feel heavy in bed this morning. i can hear the varied thrushes and their magic music somewhere in the abandoned lot eating berries. i spent the day in tears yesterday. h came over the night before and cried because it was the first time he decided to listen to me when i said i wasnt primarily interested in bottoming(and he felt entitled to topping me). i held myself together during the conversation but it all came crashing down the next day, of course, when i actually let myself close to what he had been saying. i made the mistake of letting him know i was feeling really sad about the whole thing and told him i didnt want to see him and he called me minutes before i had to go to work to yell at me for being upset because i was "using what he had said in his vulnerable moment against him" and how manipulative it was for me to be upset after the fact rather than telling him how i felt in the moment because it meant i was punishing him. i shouldnt have picked up the phone, i guess i thought there was a chance he wouldnt yell at me for whatever reason. s called me on his lunch break and told me the whole thing wasnt about any of that stuff, not really, it was about the fact that h fundamentally cannot see me or accept me for who i am and that was the real discrepancy in the relationship. i dont know why i keep trying h in the kitchen, he doesnt belong there. someone who i have to hold carefully during an emotional display who cant handle any emotional display im having without getting extremely reactive doesnt belong close to me. im so tired. i am tired on a level beyond what ive felt for a long time. i am tired of finding these people and falling in love and having them treat me like shit and not even be able to recognize that what theyre doing is fucked up and wrong. the most disappointing thing is that i feel like i keep giving them the road map to stop being assholes and then they only follow it with the next person they love (which is, always will inevitably be, a woman). talked to si too yesterday, he is ofc patient and loving and steady with his gf of the last two or so years. hes afraid of introducing us. i wish it was all easier. i wish people werent ashamed of me as parts of their pasts. what do you do with the frustration that happens when the people you love let others control their lives and relationships? how is anyone ok with their partners telling them they arent allowed to be friends with their exes? and what the hell has dating come to, where now its a race to make sure you can pretend someone goes in the kitchen years before they would ever be able to prove that they could or were worthy of doing so? if it doesnt go that way people say "this isnt progressing fast enough clearly we arent going anywhere" and give up. really pondering the nature of immediacy, impatience and scarcity. what if i want to slow down?

im going to try and do some nice things for myself today. i think im going to take a bath, try and cook something good for my meals, maybe go and pick quince if theyre ready, maybe put some things up in the loft. ofc the late submission of my acd is screwing my transcript(of no fault of my own) but hopefully the registrar will see how none of that is my fault and take pity on me. a terrible end to a terrible wonderful chapter. i miss feeling excited about something.

[perexcri]

hi hi

i just wanted to come on here and show my appreciation for your writing because you truly never fail to befuddle, gobsmack, and ofc flabbergast

like,, literally obsessed with you,, anyway

i dont comment stuff on ao3 because i am Terrified but um i do have a notion board where i log all of my reading stuff and i make comments on there so i thought id share some of my favs that i made on your works

this ripped my soul in half you cannot comprehend

this eternally altered my brain chemistry

this is what love is fr fr

fuck dude

as always this is very well written however i did predict like the entire plot but that is ok i love being right and it was very good some may even say slay idk if id go so far to say that, it may be too high concept for me but it was very good, i did however keep imagining that they both had stinky breath, cuz like will just ate mystery chili and mike presumably hasn’t brushed his teeth in months,, do vampires brush their teeth?

(and then promptly followed by)

one month later i am officially marking this as slay because i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it,, like that last scene where they make out against a cross so mike is being burned while hes turning will,, they’re both in pain together,, just sacrificing your whole life to be with the person you love, oposite of dorothea type thing tbh yah i just think i should grant it its slayage

yah this was so good like insane writing of tension and like idk all of the internal stuff pays of and OMG THE PAYOFF HOLY SHIT THE ENDING SO WORTH IT SO EARNED LIKE INSANE HOLY FUCKKK

i couldn’t stop reading i genuinely felt like i was going to puke from the tension/anticipation/suspense,, the dialogue was really good too and so was the like character study idk if i completely agree with this take on wills character but i really enjoyed in none the less and all in all it did deliver on the rom com of it all and had a very satisfying rom com esc ending that made me cry until it was actually solved because i really cant deal with lack of communication and unresolved tension anyway thats it this was really really good

this might be a bit above my reading level but i read emily dickinson for fun so im powering through just fine

ahhh hello!! thank you for sending such a nice ask and for the appreciation 🥺 i'm glad you decided to share these thoughts you have written down with me!! and i understand commenting can feel a little strange and terrifying, but just know it is appreciated regardless :D (as long as you aren't like,,,actively shitting on the fic ofc lol)

umm i wasn't sure exactly how to tackle this because some of them are clear to me which fics they go to and some of them aren't, but i'm gonna try my hardest and we'll see how it goes 😌✨

1.) so the first one with the "this ripped my soul in half" - i'm gonna guess that's beneath these boughs? maybe? that's the one where i've gotten responses most similar to what you have written down

2.) those next two paragraphs i 100% know are from come to me again!! you can tell i definitely wasn't as focused on the logistics of their later kiss for that fic because i didn't think about the whole brushing teeth/chili thing AT ALL. i picked chili because i thought that would be an easy thing to scrounge up in an enclosed environment and to make easy substitutions for, and i just,,,,,did not think about whether people would brush their teeth in a coldtown or not alfjlas. ah well, it was mainly about them making out on the cross while Mike's flesh is burning and he's turning Will into a vampire, right? that was the main goal and the biggest scene i wanted to write, and i did!! so i consider it a success 😌

3.) okay this one i think might be what a match?? it's either what a match or cheer up baby, but i'm leaning more towards what a match because of the mention of tension

4.) this one is definitely to hell and back again - so i'm glad you liked it despite the tension heheheh. and honestly i would maybe have to agree with you on the thing about Will's character? i guess the big thing with that fic is 1. it turned into an entirely different beast while i was writing it from what i originally intended for it to be, and on top of that it ended up being the first book-length thing i ever wrote, so i was a little in over my head and not entirely sure how to handle it, and 2. i was so focused on whatever the hell had happened to Mike in vol 2 that i did really focus on him more than Will in that fic so i do think Will comes off as a little ahhhh flat? not entirely himself? idk, i'd like to think i've learned a bit more since that fic, and that i made up for Will's lack of character in it with my fantasy au a flower that resembles you, which was very much centered on Will and his complexities

5.) ok i genuinely can't figure the last one out lol. i would maybe say beneath these boughs? but that's what i guessed for the first one, so maybe the first one is a flower that resembles you and this one is beneath these boughs? not sure haha

anyway!! umm idk if my guesses were right, but thanks again for sharing these thoughts!! it does help me to know that you are enjoying what i write and that you have these kinds of thoughts about it :D thanks for stopping by, and i hope you enjoy whatever comes next from this half-functioning brain of mine heheheh :] 💜💜💜