#like of course he saved Taco and Mic

[pick-a-number-star]

MePad had some GOD TEIR picks.

WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THE SURVIVOR CHARACTERS I'm so curious to know WHY them were spared if they just died at the finale then Mepad saving them was for nothing??

[rliabl-narrator]

Microphone and Test Tube and Trust

For the last few episodes of inanimate insanity season 2, we see these two clash. I’m going to be focusing on Alternate Reality Show, Mine Your Own Business, and Hatching The Plan respectively, but before I get into that I want to talk about their characters leading up to these episodes.

Microphone: Started her alliance with Taco and already has a few disagreements with her methods, seemingly just floating through the game.

Test Tube: Not social at all, mainly focuses on helping the people around her and herself

EP. 12: ALTERNATE REALITY SHOW

So, Mic and Taco at the vending machine because Mic wants to return a taser that Taco had stolen from Test Tube’s lab at some point. I’d also like to note that, before this, neither of them had really interacted with the other team, aside from the maze.

Mic goes down and Test Tube immediately does not trust her, calling her a Jeebweezer, which means “An individual of high suspicion or idiocy.” Test Tube accidentally reveals her Time Machine, piquing Taco’s interest. Then, Lightbulb, wacky hijinks, they get portal’d away. Mic is clearly freaking out after, but Taco frames it as taking out two competitors. They steal the invisi-bow ties and leave.

Not much else happens that episode. Test Tube and Lightbulb come back safe, Knife finds out about Mic and Taco’s alliance, but it does show Test Tube and Microphone getting off on the wrong foot.

EP. 13: Mine Your Own Business

There’s only a few key things this episode. Test Tube is mostly focused on other’s (Lightbulb, Baseball, Fan) safety, while Mic is focused on Knife and trying to get him to join the alliance.

At the end, Knife warns them about Test Tube and Fan analyzing everyone, which now shifts their focus onto them. So, using the bows, they lead Suitcase straight to the gem just as Fan and Test Tube arrive. Using her dart blaster, Tets Tube tries to hit Suitcase, but she ends up hitting a invisible Microphone.

So, not only does she see Mic with one of her inventions that she stole, she sees that she was actively working against them. So going into episode 14, they are already on negative terms, plus Test Tube is a little um shaken after taking the egg in the Fantube divorce.

Also, they fucking left Mic in the mines paralyzed and that is so very funny to me

Ep. 14: Hatching The Plan (A.K.A Peak Fiction)

So Fan gets captured, Test Tube paralyzes an entire spaceship, it’s all cool. Test Tube is very clearly distressed and unhinged through all of this. Mic suggests that her secret lab could help them, and Test Tube becomes overdramatic and sets off literal fireworks. She makes a little quip about Mic stealing from her, and they move on.

So, while their building the vending machine ship, Microphone is sitting off to the side, and I’m assuming Test Tube made her because she doesn’t trust her at all, and clearly states so multiple times. Taco, of course, forms a plan of sorts, and tells Mic to buy her time, so now Mic is actively working against the ships success (both the literal rocket ship and Testmic) and Test Tube again, putting them at odds.

Mic almost accidentally kills Test Tube, but the ship goes up. Mic doesn’t really know what Taco’s plan is but she make’s her promise no violence, and guess what. Taco immediately kills Test Tube with a gun that she probably made and I think that’s when Mic finally stops, turning on Taco and stepping in front of the gun barrel. She cuts ties with Taco immediately after the challenge is over.

Unfortunately the damage was already done and Mic saves Fan, winning the challenge. She brings him back and everyone is cheering. aside from Test Tube, who is just staring in hurt and disbelief. Mic is completely silent throughout this whole scene as everyone applauds her, and when Test Tube tries to explain what really happened, no one (aside from LB) believed her, and Fan wasn’t conscious, so he couldn’t back her up.

“I hope it was worth it.”

And then Microphone quits the game.

And then Test Tube is eliminated.

And then they become roommates at the hotel (this isn’t canon but c’mon yes it is)

I find it so interesting how despite Test Tube knowing she couldn’t trust Mic before Hatching the Plan and showing nothing but irritation towards her, she still felt like Mic had stabbed her in the back. Because yes, Test Tube knew she could steal, and cheat, but she didn’t know Microphone would go that far to win the stupid challenge.

And Mic is just so sorry for everything she did, leaving them in a place where they should be able to patch things up but Test Tube just doesn’t want to hear it, why would she ever trust anything Mic had to say?

[a-brush-full-of-paint]

Recently, I started seeing this post floating around and it got me thinking.

How old is MePhone?

This post ended up pretty long so I put it under a read more, haha.

TLDR: Due to the lack of information, I couldn’t find a clear answer, however with a lot of assumptions, I concluded he’s 3 years old!

I suppose to figure that out we’d have to figure out: 1. How much time passes between each episode; 2. How much time passed between seasons; And for future reference: 3. Whether the other S2 episodes (that we haven’t seen yet) are happening alongside S3 or after it.

I decided to handle each problem individually as to not lose my mind. :P

The first thing I could think of was the asks Taylor has answered in the past (here and here) but they boil down to “Unless it’s important, we never really thought or cared about it”. 

Ok, that’s... a little disappointing. But you know what? Whatever! I’ll overthink things then! I can work with this.

So based on how the characters talk in season 1, the episodes seem to be happening on the date of release (with the exception of episode 18 in s1, of course). So I went and looked at the release dates of every episode of season 1 and calculated how long it was in-universe - A year and seven months. (I realized I could’ve just looked at the first and last episode after I finished. oops.) In season 1 ep 14 he says he’s just a year old. (I would’ve put a screenshot here but the episode has no captions! The time stamp is 3:37.)

If we were to assume he means exactly a year old (which is likely, based on season 2), that means that by the end of season one, he’s a year and 5 months old.

Now, onto season two where things get complicated.

The last time I remember dates being mentioned in s2 is in ep6 where MePhone makes a Halloween based challenge and MePad says he’s off by “over a month”.

Yea, that doesn’t really narrow it down. So I went and looked at the release dates up until this episode. Here’s the list (date/month/year):

Ep1: 02 April 2013 Ep2: 02 May 2013 Ep3: 25 June 2013 Ep4: 23 August 13 Ep5: 03 November 2013 Ep6: 02 February 2014

As you can see, the gap increased over time. That doesn’t really help!! Like at all!!

If we were to go with the ‘Episodes exactly a month apart’ formula like in season 1, ep6 would’ve been in September so that’s not right. We can only make assumptions but I’ll save that for later.

Episode 9 implies that there are deadlines as to when episodes need to come out as he mentions a schedule:

And the white board in episode 10 looks exactly like in episode 9:

(Screenshot from episode 9 when Mic finds Taco and screams ^)

(Screenshot from the start of episode 10 ^)

So I’m pretty confident in saying that ep10 is happening a little after ep9. Maybe an hour at most? But I think that’s a bit of a reach, since there’d probably be more on the white board if so much time had passed.

And episode 14 is happening right after ep13 (......obviously.)

He also says that episodes 7 and 8 fucked up his schedule? But the eliminations still happened (I’m assuming on time) so like. I don’t know.

............And here is where the canon information ends and my assumptions begin.

Since there’s a schedule, then there’s probably an equal amount of time between the episodes. Based on MePad’s line and episode 5’s release date, we can assume ep6 takes place in December. And if we were to assume that episode 1 is happening on the second of April, then there’s been 9 months between these episodes. That means there’s a month and a half between each episode! Here’s my timeline (date/month/year):

Ep1: 02 April 2013 Ep2: 17 May 2013 Ep3: 02 July 2013 Ep4: 17 August 2013 Ep5: 02 October 2013 Ep6: 17 December 2013 Ep7: 02 February 2014 Ep8: 17 March 2014 Ep9&10: 02 May 2014 Ep11: 17 June 2014 Ep12: 02 August 2014 Ep13&14: 17 September 2014

So if MePhone was 1 year and 6 months old in November of 2012 then at episode 13&14 he’s 3 years and 5 months old!

As for season 3, we have absolutely no point of reference. Not for how much time passes between episodes or when it started. So unfortunately, for that I have nothing. Maybe that’ll change with the following episodes though? <:3c

All of this is ignoring the time he spent living with Cobs, as we have no way of calculating that. MePhone saying he’s just a year old in season 1 makes sense since he had erased those memories and likely started the show immediately.

And uhhh yea, I think that’s everything?? If I’ve forgotten something I’ll either edit or reblog dskjngjjkdsnjfks

Thanks for reading have a good dayyyyyy :D

[sperenity]

Inanimate Insanity Episode 14 Analysis

SPOILERS GALORE!

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Okay.

This episode was nuts. I mean, need I say that I was expecting it? I knew the egg was going to reveal itself since it was cracking, but I thought there was something in there, not some being that happened to be the egg itself.

The opening. Oh, the opening. I was seriously impressed. It hooked me to watch more of it. I really liked the black-and-white effects as well as the ominous tone put on it.

I was also surprised to see Fan have a role in the episode, and it was refreshing to hear some of the eliminated contestants’ voices again. For a moment, I thought the eliminated contestants were going to exit the hotel and watch the show or something.

Seeing MePhone4 acting outside of his role as the host was thrilling as well, especially that he nearly discontinued the show. 

Inanimate Insanity could have ended right there.

Oh, and MePad’s resignment was a shocker too.

I thought that Test Tube was going absolutely crazy here, which probably is true anyway. Her usefulness has reached a peak and she is riding the wave. I was also surprised to see how Fan suddenly appeared to take the egg back, and the contestants shared the same reaction as mine, too. Nice attention to detail! It was cute that the egg stopped “crying” once Fan interacted. I thought Fan was recognized as the father here.

When MePhone4 glitch-generated a Living Room set, I thought that somebody was going to be there, but I was also confused when he generated random things later, too. But as of writing this, I realized the sounds were not only the eggs’ way of calling their mothership, but also likely a defense mechanism against Cobs’ creations, and MePhone4 is one of them. Yet MePad was unaffected. Perhaps Cobs upgraded their hardware?

Suitcase’s depiction of her anxiety was also neat. The minimalist flashing as the crack grew. That was neat. I thought her snapping back at Test Tube was a symptom of it, considering her sudden defensive stance.

The fight with the spaceship was absolutely epic. MePhone4′s quick wit, his command to the contestants to save Fan (Though I think it’s to save himself from lawsuits once again), and Test Tube’s Tazer-powered Telescope Bazooka against the ship was absolutely wicked. Also, I just realized that the reason Cobs asked for a spaceship from MePhone4 is so Cobs could go after them.

The update of the dock from Kick The Bucket was absolutely glorious as well. I really liked the detail, it was almost serene.

Imagine my surprise when I saw Taco already ambush and incapacitate MePad in the background while Microphone was talking. And finding out later that Mic’s speech was in-sync with what Taco is doing.

When I saw the Egg’s transformation, I was anticipating the moment that whatever was inside was going to come out. I even thought the eyes were glowing from the darkness inside until I saw hovering. Then, I was confused. Utterly confused about what the ex-egg was. I thought Fan would possibly be imprinted as the father of what turned out to be an actual being as well. When Fan was bound by chains, I certainly thought the leader was going to send him to his death (even if he did anyway, MePhone4 would recover him.)

Then, Test Tube intervened.

The alien species (which are referred to as The Shimmers), then told their backstory of the “oppressor” (which was what I wasn’t expecting, honestly, but flashbacks from Theft and Battery ensued). At first, I didn’t know that the presentation on The leader Shimmer’s face was a depiction of the MePhones 1 through 3GS (I later realized that Steve Cobs may have discarded 3GS with the intent to destroy which was why it was so scared the previous episode).

Fan interacts with the Baby Shimmer, the group shares a laugh, a wholesome moment there...

Then, Test Tube explodes and Taco’s reflection is shown (I later find out she and Mic teleported to the ship). It was like an epic moment where the spy from an action movie shows off their tricks. Then, I thought the ship flew away with the group inside before I remembered Taco using Mepad for teleportation. 

When Microphone came with Fan... It was a sight to see MePhone4 acting all excited for the first time in quite a while. Also, I did NOT expect Microphone to retaliate against Taco by mentioning Taco’s history with Pickle, then ultimately quitting the alliance by shutting her out. What a way to go there, and what an arc. I wonder what’s gonna happen next with Taco. Will she ever be found out?

Then, the elimination. Honestly, at this point, I wasn’t expecting an elimination to happen considering how far off the show’s original format has gone. It was cool to see that it still retains its original flair. Imagine my surprise when I saw Microphone willfully choose herself to be eliminated. Does this even make II the same? Yes. But, actually, no? Honestly, I was somewhat relieved that there ended up being a double elimination. I think it suggests a deeper tension in the show’s coming climax.

Then, Lightbulb’s goodbye. Oh, that scene. That actually made me feel. Over many episodes, Lightbulb was the comic relief that everyone loved. She joked with her friends, especially with Paintbrush. Now, all her friends are eliminated. I wonder if that means her comic relief arc is over. If it isn’t, what else is there? For now, she’s gonna have to cope with her reality of being a finalist.

After the credits scene, in which I thought the music was pretty catchy (especially in contrast to the past episode’s more ominous tone), I was happy to see Toilet appear again. I had been so focused on what was happening that I actually forgot about him. Then, the crashed ship.

Then, MePhoneX.

I felt chills when I saw him. Adam was doing a great job making each design more advanced and intimidating than the previous, but this one is through the roof. I was not expecting another MePhone installment to happen. Should I even call this a running gag, or is this one actually so intimidating that it doesn’t constitute to humor at all? I thought I was going to leave a bit empty, but this one made me think the wait for the next episode is going to be worth it.

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CONCLUSION/THEORIES

The relevation of the egg was certainly a surprise, much less expecting. However, I am a little disappointed that there was nothing inside the egg. I liked the buildup from Fan acquiring up to its hatching, but considering the amount of priority that was put into it and not that the egg was used for comic relief, I really expected the relevation to be overly dramatic and possibly change the course of the show or expand the II universe (which it did in both scenarios, but still.). This doesn’t mean that I dislike the direction the show is taking now. It was just such a dramatic change that it makes me feel such a way that doesn’t make me excited but rather makes me sober? I’m not saying the writers made a mistake, I love Inanimate Insanity’s creativity and I’m looking forward for more. It’s just not exactly my cup of tea.

MePhoneX is a creation you do not want to mess around with. It is obvious by now that this one is created by Steve Cobs. The earlier MePhones, except for the last couple, were bent on destroying MePhone4, and it was heavily implied that Cobs sent them out to destroy MePhone4. This creation should be no different. However, MePhoneX is not only sent out to destroy MePhone4, he is sent to destroy the entire reality show and the contestants with it, along with going after The Shimmers. If MePhoneX doesn’t destroy 4, he might force him to create a spaceship and enslave the contestants, including the former ones from Hotel OJ, to aid in Cobs’ capture of The Shimmers. Also, everyone’s assumed that the MePhones get dumber with each installment, but I believe that this X installment is one above all. It is designed in such a way that exceeds every preceding generation. In other words, this one is not stupid.

Also, I have noticed that this show still has its BFDI inspirations. The shaking, the loopy mannerisms, and the unexpected humor is, to me, a callback to the witty and eccentric humor that is shown consistently throughout the Huang twins’ show.

Overall, this show is taking a turn. I am actually enthralled that it still hasn’t let up. Especially after my departure from the OSC and coming back. I now eagerly wait for the next episode even if it’s going to take months.

UPDATES: I also realized that MePhone4 is beginning to have a personal connection to the contestants. What if his cruel tactics shown in season 1 and 2 are a result of his trauma with Cobs? I don’t know if he ever will, but considering his backstory, I can’t help but imagine that MePhone4 is actually moving forward.

Also, there was almost no frustration evident in Taco’s reaction to her plan failing. It was full of emotional surprise. Did she ever see Microphone as a friend rather than an “ally”?

I can’t get it out of my head that MePhone4 still has 4S’ model after the finale of season 1. I really hope the writers don’t throw him away. It’s confusing to know that MePhone4 has 4S’ model and still have the kind of Gemories that 4 had in his original model. 

[ehh-is-the-name]

Inanimate Insanity II, ep 14.

I’m making a log of my feelings and thoughts during this ep, something tells me it’s gonna be a feels fest. Oh yeah, forgot to mention there’s spoilers in here, so be careful

Alright I had this idea less then 5 mins into the ep so I’m just gonna start to where Fan gets abducted. --~~~-- BRUH He just runs out to touch the egg like the papa he is and then just SHOOWP. there he goes, up in the green laser then fukin Intro with the chessy music. Are we just not gonna say anything about that?? Plus the convo of MePhone4 and MePad?

Hell yeah I can smell the story from here, 30 minutes of content here I come! ~~~ Alright HE HAS A FUCKIN SHEILD?! I wasn’t expecting a laser battle but damn ~~~ Test Tube’s livid and possibly gone bonkers. Punching a hole through the pop machine wasn’t the most necessary thing but I’ll back it up. Not to mention everyone’s kinda scared her at the moment too... Scared, well spoke a little too soon. ~~~ OUUU Oh SNAP- Suitcase telling of Test Tube like that- Now that’s tea.

~~~ I swear there’s too much going on and I love it. Fan’s stuck with the egg in a horribly minimalistic room, The contestants are trying to defeat the giant egg that was apparently sent by cobs (I don’t by it), and MePhone4 basically saying he’s going lone wolf on everyone and everything, ahh the tea- the drama- the sauce! I love every second of it and I’m not even a whole 10 mins into the ep. ~~~ Um Taco, the fuck you doing with MePad back there? Also Mic, I’m 99% sure you guys aren’t equals, or at least not in Taco’s mind. ~~~ Ngl the lil egg dude being scared of fan made me tear up a bit. I’m weak I know ~~~ Lightbulb makes my day so much better, I love that glass bulb full of gases. The flying buddy is a wonderful name for a rocket made of scrap metal. I love it so much, I can’t- ~~~ Wait, did that glass orb just save the day by fueling the ship? holy fucc, that’s incredible. aLSO MePHone4 I swear- don’t you dare erase a god damn thing, just look at the rocket fly through the sky and don’t press the button. ~~~ ok good he didn’t press it. ~~~ YOOO Suitcase, that’s like the opposite of Ninja’s “It’s just a game” quote, or maybe it’s the same thinking... tbh I have no clue I was just reminded of the quote from she said. ~~~ There’s something mega fucked up about using the Ipad to teleport after forcing him to go in sleep mode... Taco you are one crazy bitch and I don’t condone of your actions but I respect the skills to con and devise.  ~~~ The prime shimmer huh, I have no clue how to feel about floating space eggs with spears calling themselves The Prime Shimmer. ~~~ I think the head prime shimmer’s gonna make me and fan have an existential crisis. I don’t know who I am?? Do I? Do you? Do any of us know who we are exactly? oh no it’s started. eh, why am I worried I’ve been having one for the past 3 years and I’m more or less fine. Idk about fan tho...  ~~~  Oh of course Steve Cobs is the oppressor but also managed to fuck with alien eggs? I’m not down with that. Where’s the cob of corn I wanna teach him a lesson on why you shouldn’t fuck with alien eggs. ~~~ HH H HH THEY STOLE THE BABY EGGS? AND THERE’S ANOTHER ONE? god I love this show. where’s the second baby egg tho, I wanna protect them. I’ve been switched to protect mode ahhah ~~~ Um stop the ha ha funny. Taco Straight up just fucking murdered Test Tube. Not cool, and what are your motives you fishless, bowtie havin, crunchy boi. Why did you need to teleport to the egg ship. Ahfh gfl I’m going mad.  ~~~ MIC DON’T STEAL THE BABY ~~~ Well the “Go on the alien egg ship to get Fan back” plan didn’t turn out so well huh. The worst part is that everything would have worked out it Taco didn’t go all trigger happy. ~~~  Yeah MePhone you kinda fucked up big time. 3-4 of your contestants are hurling though space and you don’t have properties like the blue number we should all know, where you could alter time and space, or at least just fly through space to get them back. ~~~ Am I stupid or something? This whole show I was wondering how these guy come back, like who’s recovering them? Duh of course it’s the host of this whole reality show. ~~~ Umm but Test Tube knows what happened on the ship. Mic how can you live with yourself? AH I’m in agony, this show is too good.  ~~~  oh oh oH OH OHHH SHIT! Mic has pulled the plug on Taco. Gain is all the way downtown. No more transmissions, no more shady business practices and telling her off while mentioning pickle. Taco, you messed up big time buddy. ~~~ - Knife: Did you see her do all that? - Test Tube: No... but I’m also not an idiot! I- - MePhone4: Well that’s fantastic.  I’m livid, listen to Test Tube. Mic was a traitor who helped in very bad practices. I will not stand for this. ~~~ UM Really now, MePad’s gone and it’s just like “eh, he’ll be back, it’s fax time,” smh. I’m not prepared for this elimination. ngl I forgot that this was even part of the show for a sec.

~~~ God damnit Lightbulb, you’re stealing my heart with your little quips. We’re having a meaningful and serious moment. Same thing with MePhone4 not the time, let Mic be the bigger person. Even  though she’s a criminal, possibly even a space criminal.  ~~~ Wait what? Your not gonna just kick Mic and have that be it? what wh y augh- ~~~ THAT’S SO MESSED UP THO! Mic is leaving AND Test Tube’s been kicked cause it’s “just a game”? Baseball, dude... I thought you were better than that. ~~~ No n no, Taco, No. You don’t get to feel bad about using someone alright. Go to space jail and revive MePad please. ~~~ ahf au u the lightbulb gang is too good. Imma cry. I- hic ~~~ MePhone4 you don’t get to be all peppy at the end of it. Lightbulb is fuckin distraught so I’m in pain, I look forward to ep 15 but AHH Hhgh my heart is damaged. Every single episode, angst and ahahh owchie mama. I love this show but damn does it make me upset. Wait what about MePad- I guess I’ll jsut have to be patient and wait. Frick. ~~~ Oh wait there’s extras after the credit? I it’s toilet. O NBIHFFNF JJGkdd njnkjdns FUCK FUCK IUFKC ABORT MISSION. TOILET GE THE FUCK OUT OF THERE AHHH- 

[stupidfanfics]

Till Death Do Us Part: A Barry Allen Fan Fiction

Chapter 6: Ok?...Ok

Word Count: 3048

“Barry?” “Barry!” I yelled causing Cisco to stare at me. “What? Did I miss it?” I let out a sigh of frustration, “You overshot by about six blocks.” “My bad.” I rolled my eyes looking at Cisco who just shrugged his shoulders. “You there yet?” Cisco asked Barry sitting in an office chair and pulling up a map on the monitors. “What are you doing?” Quickly at the sound of Caitlin’s voice I pressed a button shutting down every monitor. “Nothing,” Cisco dumbly replied. “Who were you guys talking to?” “No one.” Caitlin stepped forward. “Are you talking to Barry?” “Who?” I couldn’t help but giggle as I watched the scene before me unfold. Which, of course, cause Caitlin to snap her head around and glare at me. “Barry Allen. Struck by lightning? Was in a coma for nine months? Woke up being able to run faster than the speed of sound? Monica’s childhood best friend? Ring a bell?” she asked raising an eyebrow. “No. Haven’t talked to him.” Cisco mumbled leaning back into his chair. “Guys, there’s fire everywhere!” Barry’s yell loudly played over the speakers. “Shit, we’re screwed.” I whispered. “Guys, are you still there?” “Everybody's out. What else you got for me?” Barry said in a cocky tone. “God, would you just shut up.” I yelled into my mic. “What do yo-” Caitlin cut Barry off, “Barry, it’s Caitlin.” Cisco and I shared awkward glances as we waited for Barry’s response. “Heyyy, Caitlin. How’s your day?” A small smile crept onto my face. “Get back to STAR Labs. Now.” Caitlin sternly said turning to Cisco and I. “On my way.” Barry flashed into the Cortex. “Have you three lost your minds?” Caitlin yelled. “Who do you think you are?” “Well, I’m the eyes and ears and he’s the feet.” Cisco replied. “And, what does that make you Monica?” she asked swiveling around to face me. “Oh me,” I pointed to myself, “I’m the team leader. Just making sure nothing gets out of hand.” “Well you obviously aren’t doing to could at that. You could’ve gotten yourself killed.” she retorted pointing to Barry. “You can’t be running around this city like some supersonic fireman.” “Why not?” Barry asked stepping forward. “This is what we talked about. Me using my speed to do good.” “We talked about you helping us contain other people who might have been affected by the particle accelerator explosion. Metahumans. And aside from Clyde Mardon we haven’t found any.” “But Caitlin, people in this city need help.” I said supporting Barry’s case. “And he can help them.” “We can help them.” Cisco corrected. “Will you please say something.” Barry, Cisco, and I all turned around to be met with Dr. Wells wheeling around. “I think what Caitlin is saying, in her own spectacular angry way, is that we are just beginning to understand what your body is capable of. Not to sound like a broken record Mr. Allen… I do caution restraint.” “Dr. Wells, I doubt restraint is how you got to be the man you are today.” “In a wheelchair and a pariah. Lack of restraint is what made me these things. Know your limits.” Dr. Wells retorted wheeling off. “Don’t expect me to patch you up every time you break something.” Caitlin disclosed to Barry, storming off. “Hey umm, anything happen out there today?” I asked Barry walking to stand in front of him. “The sensors in the suit were kicking back some weird telemetry, like your vitals spiked for a few seconds.” Cisco explained. Barry shook his head, “Never felt better.” Cisco then handed Barry his phone, “Hey Joe, everything all right?” Joe. I haven't seen him in so long, which is kind of weird to think because he’s basically my replacement dad. I guess that’s one of the reasons why I missed Central City so much, here I have family and friends. In Seattle I had nothing. A gust of wind interrupted me from my, what you could call, contemplating. “Where’s he going?” I asked. “Apparently his, ‘day job beckons’” Cisco responded. “Now, when do you think he’ll realize he didn’t take his clothes?” mumbled Dr. Wells.

“You lied to us! How could you not us you’re experiencing dizzy spells? We’re your doctors.” Caitlin scolded Barry, “God knows what’s going on inside your body. Your cells are in a constant state of flux. You could be experiencing cardiopulmonary failure or a transient ischemic attack.” Barry gave me a confused look, searching for an explanation. “Mini stroke. Probably not.” I told him. “You of all people should know that in science, we share. We do not keep secrets.” Caitlin said storming off. “Wow… I haven’t seen anyone make her that angry since Ronnie.” Cisco said handing a tablet to Dr. Wells. “Ronnie was Caitlin’s fiance? The one that died the night of the accelerator explosion?” Barry asked. “Yeah. He is… missed.” Dr. Wells replied staring off into the distance. “Well… let’s figure out why this is happening to you.” I said switching the subject.

“We’re all set.” Cisco said leaning on a pile of boxes, “A little padding. Just in case.” Cisco walked back into the room where I was sitting with Caitlin and Dr. Wells. “You’re sure about this Cisco?” Barry yelled. “Most home treadmills have a maximum speed of about 12 miles per hour. This one, has been Cisco’ed.” Cisco explained, “Trust me. It can handle your speed.” “Okay.” Barry started walking on the treadmill as we all waited in anticipation. “Heart rate, blood pressure, nerve conduction all normal.” Caitlin said staring at her screen. “For Barry.” Dr. Wells added. “Brainwave function within standard limits.” Caitlin continued. Cisco laughed, “I told you the treadmill could take it.” “Guys, look at the glucose levels.” I uttered. “Oh my god, of course.” “Right?” “It was so obvious.” “Glucose levels. Barry!” I shouted, “We think we know why you keep-” Before I could finish my sentence Barry’s body was flung into the stack of boxes. “Passing out.” I whispered.

Barry let out a groan when he got out of the bed in the med-bay. “I passed out again?” he asked as Caitlin, Cisco, and I helped him up. “Total metabolic failure brought on by acute hypoglycemia.” Caitlin explained. “I’m not eating enough. So an IV bag, and I’m good to go?” Barry asked me. I let out a laugh, “More like 40. Guess you were thirsty.” “We’re gonna need to fashion you a new diet based on your metabolic changes.” Caitlin reported. “I’ve done a few calculations. You need to consume an amount equal to roughly 850 tacos. Unless we’re talking cheese and guac, which is like a whole other set of equations.” I shook my head in disbelief at Cisco’s response. “For mexican I recommend Tito’s.” A familiar voice rang through the cortex. “On Bruckner Avenue? Best burrito in the city.” I looked up at the source of the voice. “Joe.” I whispered to myself. “Detective West. What brings you to STAR Labs?” Dr. Wells inquired taking the words right out of my mouth. “When I couldn’t find you at your lab,” Joe said pointing at Barry, “I started doing a little research. Turns out there’s been reports of a red streak around the city. Stopping muggers, rescuing people from burning buildings.” “You didn’t tell him we’re working together?” Dr. Wells asked Barry. Barry shook his head, “Joe I can explain.” “You already have a job in law enforcement, Barry. I suggest you get back to it.” Joe scolded. “Mhm,” Joe turned to face Caitlin, “Don’t look at me. I’m on your side.” “Joe, we all want what’s best for Barry.” I interrupted. “Monica, don’t get yourself into this. And besides if you wanted what was best for Barry, you’d tried to talk him out of this lunacy instead of encouraging him going out there risking his life.” “You saw a man control the weather. What are the police gonna do against someone like that?” Barry yelled. “Since the accelerator explosion we suspect there may be more like him.” Joe shook his head in disbelief, “And you’re gonna do what? Catch them? Are you insane? You think because you can run real fast that you’re invincible? You’re not! You’re just a kid. My kid.” Joe finished looking at Dr. Wells. “I’m not your kid, Joe. And you’re not my father.” Barry said shaking his head, “My father’s sitting in Iron Heights. Wrongfully convicted. You were wrong about him. And you’re wrong about this. Now I may not be able to help him, but if I can save someone from a burning building or stop some armed thieves, I’m gonna do it.” “Barry, maybe you should-” “And you can't stop me! So don’t try.” he yelled cutting me off. Joe looked around the room, searching for an answer. “You think you’re so smart. All of you. But you don’t know what you don’t know. And I hope that you’re clever enough to figure it out before somebody gets killed.” Joe finally responded pointing from Dr. Wells to Barry, hen he walked out of the Cortex. “I don’t remember him being that grumpy.” I observed turning to face Barry. “Yeah, well you haven’t really been here the past five years.” he muttered. “Well I’m sorry. I thought friends were supposed to be supportive of each other!” I yelled, “Or did you think there was something else between us? Because apparently something led you to believe it was fine to kiss me.” Barry stared into my eyes, his jaw clenched. “Monica, I’m-” “Sorry? Yeah Barry I know. Save the apologies for someone else.” I said, aggressively grabbing my jacket off my desk and storming out of the Cortex.

“Sorry, the abrasions are already rapidly healing.” I could faintly hear Caitlin’s voice from my desk as she cleaned up Barry’s wounds. “Yeah, I got my ass handed to me.” he responded. “No shit Sherlock.” I muttered to myself. “You got blood on my suit,” Cisco exclaimed. “Yeah Barry, you got blood on Cisco’s suit.” I said, standing up from my desk and folding my arms in front of my chest. “I think some of it belongs to him.” Barry retorted, “Another not-so-friendly meta-human.” Suddenly a man’s face popped up on the monitor. “Danton Black.” Dr. Wells sighed, “He’s a Bio-Geneticist specialized in therapeutic cloning. Growing new organs to replace failing ones.” “Apparently Stagg stole his research and fired him.” Caitlin elaborated. “I saw Black create duplicates from his own body.” Cisco chuckled, “That’s pretty ironic, the guy specializes in cloning and now he can make xeroxes of himself.” “If he was experimenting on himself when he was exposed to the dark matter wave released by the particle accelerator explosion-” “-meet Captain Clone.” Cisco smiled as we all stared at him in disbelief, “Don’t worry I’ll come up with something cooler.”  Barry started walking out the door, “Where are you going?” Caitlin asked. “Joe was right, I’m in way over my head. Yeah, I’m fast but I’m no warrior. Man, I could barely fight one metahuman, let alone six.” “Barry-” Dr. Wells said before Barry could leave, “I understand. Today was a setback. But any grand enterprise has them. And we can never learn to fly without crashing a few times.” Barry shook his head, “This wasn’t a grand enterprise, Dr. Wells… This was a mistake.” With that Barry was gone, leaving the other three scientists left to stare at me. “You’re looking at me like it’s my fault. It’s not. Ok?” Caitlin shook her head as she went back to work.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked when I walked back into the cortex to find Caitlin experimenting with blood and chemicals. “Trying to help Barry. Or I guess The Streak.” she answered. “The Streak?” “That’s what Iris is calling him on he blog.” I rolled my eyes, “Well, Barry said he was done with this. I hate to say it but I think it’s time to-” “BINGO!” Caitlin exclaimed. “Holy shi- what the hel- what’s going on?” A man began to grow out of the petri dish Caitlin threw on the ground. “ Dr. Wells, Cisco, we need you in the Cortex. Now.” Caitlin said into STAR Labs intercom system. “Hey what’s- holy clone!” Cisco yelled when he walked through the doorway. “Monica, call Barry.” Caitlin ordered. “No, I don’t want anything to do with him.” Caitlin snatched my phone. “Sigourney, call Barry Allen.” “Calling Barry Allen.” A monotone voice coming from my phone explained. I began to mouth the word no over and over again until Barry picked up. “Look, I told you I’m through.” Barry’s voice harshly rang through the phones speaker. “I know, but you need to get to STAR Labs… Right now.” I said in a serious voice before hanging up. Barry flashed in. “Barry, it’s okay” Caitlin reassure him. “It is not okay.” Barry exclaimed standing face-to-face with a clone of Black. “Black is here and he’s just… standing there. That’s not him, is it?” “Looks like you solved the case Mr. CSI.” I said in a sarcastic tone. “It’s one of his replicates.” Dr. Wells answered. “How did you get it?” “I grew him.” Caitlin cockily responded, “I isolated a sample of Black’s blood from your suit, to see if I could trigger the in vitro cultivation process and learn how Black multiplies. So, I exposed the target cells to a protein gel, and they began replicating… into that.” Caitlin finished motioning towards the clone. Barry waved his hand in front of its face. “Why isn’t he… it doing anything?” he questioned. Dr. Wells rolled up his sleeves, “We did a brain scan. Involuntary motor functions are active, little else.” “We think it’s acting as a receiver.” Cisco elaborated. “The clones are an empty shell without Black.” Caitlin continued, “Shut down the real Black and you might shut them all down.” “But how do we know which one is the real Danton Black?” said a confused Barry Allen. “I think it’s pretty obvious Bartholomew.” I remarked. Barry rolled his eyes and turned to face me, “Oh really? Care to explain?” I clapped my hands together, “Well just like you and your unexpected naps, Black has limits. The one showing weakness or fatigue, like you when you forget your hourly Big Belly Burger, is the prime. Take him down, you take them all down.” I said a cocky smile plastered across my face. “Just a theory… but one you might want to put to the test, Mr. Allen.” Dr. Wells said pushing up his glasses. “Plus, I whipped up these high calorie protein bars for you to keep your metabolism up.” Cisco said handing him a bar. Suddenly the clone grunted and began moving away until a loud bang shot through the cortex. I turned to face the source of the bullet, “Any more of them?” Joe asked. “Nope.” Caitlin answered. “Why did it start moving?” Barry yelled turning to face Dr. Wells. “The prime,” he answered. “My guess is, the prime is on the move. This one heard the summons to battle.” “And I know where he was summoned to,” Joe added placing his pistol back in his holster. “Stagg Industries.” Barry stared at Joe, “You should call it in.” “Police can’t fight this. What Black’s become, like Mardon… beyond me. Maybe way beyond them, too. The only person it’s not beyond is you. You gotta do this. I get it. So for once in your life, do what I tell you to do. Go stop him.” Barry gave Joe a small smile before walking up to his suit.

“-but that doesn’t give you the right to murder.” Barry’s scolding voice could be heard over the Cortex speakers before there was a gunshot. As Barry whoosed around a kept an eye on his vitals, constantly making sure they were steady. What? Just because I hated him at the time doesn't mean I couldn’t have cared about his well being. Suddenly Barry’s screamed was played in the cortex as his heart rate increased. I gripped onto the arm of my office chair as more gunshots and screams were heard in the Cortex. I looked over to Cisco who was staring at his computer screen. “Remember Barry, find the prime.” Caitlin spoke into her mic. “There’s too many of them to fight.” “Barry, you need to isolate the prime,” Dr. Wells instructed. “I can’t. It’s impossible.” Barry panted. “Nothing’s impossible Barry. You taught me that.You can do this.” Joe said trying to inspire Barry. After a few minutes of only the sounds of bodies hitting the floor and running Barry finally let out a chuckle. “Barry? Barry, are you all right?” Joe pressed. “I-i’m fine. I’m fine.” he responded, “It’s done.” Suddenly the sound of glass shattering was played through the cortex, I looked over at Caitlin who was just as confused as me. “Hang on!” Barry yelled, “Don’t.” Suddenly Barry began breathing hysterically.

“Tried to save him,” Barry said over the new broadcast. “Doesn’t sound like he wanted to be saved.” Dr. Wells responded. “Yeah, I know how that feels.” I muttered, causing Barry to turn around and give me a stern look to which I just shrugged my shoulders, “What? I’m just being honest. Some people… when they break… they can’t be put together again.” “Some people heal even stronger.” I let out a chuckle at Barry’s ironic response. “I don’t get what’s so funny about this to you.” Barry said, his tone becoming more harsh. “Barry, can I talk to you? Outside?” He nodded his head and followed me out of the cortex. “Look, I know that the way I left things five years ago was not great,” Barry scoffed at my statement. “But we have to put that behind us. Or at least while we’re here.” Barry took a step closer to me, “Why?” I took a step back, “Because Barry, this is my job and I’m supposed to act professional. I’m sorry for what happened that night but we’re both to blame. Let’s just accept the way life is and go on with our lives. Ok?” I asked cocking my head to the side. “Ok.” Barry whispered.     

Taglist:

@lexeeehhh

[jejublr]

Super!Woozi

A/N: Did someone say Super!Woozi?? Because I’m here to deliver ;) omg Nat stop. I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG T^T Here’s something an anon requested and the AU update @mansaeboysbe asked for bazillion years ago. This one is suuuuper long to make up for it so I hope you all enjoy! This story is such a hot mess tbh. Also this gif of Jihoon is exactly what this fic is all about.

You thought Jihoon would be a hero?? lmao think again 

Bc I think he’d be the perfect villain

Ok not really but hear me out

Jihoon would be some kind of a genius mastermind ok?

If you think that’s not a superpower, you’re wrong

You can say he’s some kind of a technopath bc this guy can literally build anything tech-y out of everything

For example, he made his first weapon at the age of five. fIVE.

Like what was i even doing at the age of five?? my only accomplishment by then was being the champion in a cracker-eating competition during independence day celebration smh

I’m so proud of it tho so y’all can fight me if you disagree

He can also manipulate most forms of technology

He can turn off lights without having to switch it off, manipulate computer data, he can hack into cyber systems, restore information and break computer codes

He could’ve done much worse but since he never had any form of training since he first discovered his power, his power is pretty underdeveloped

Nonetheless, technopath!Woozi is still super powerful, even with his limitations

Supervillain!Jihoon would wear some kind of a black suit with some cool-ass tool belt strapped on his hips for his tinkering needs

Definitely no spandex and absolutely no capes

We hear ya, Edna

He’d wear the typical black mask and his red hair would be a stark contrast against his dark ensemble

I live for red-haired Woozi

He also got these cool gauntlets on his wrist and he can shoot out sedatives, tear gas pellets, tasers, grappling hooks, a radio transmitter and explosives

Woozi also got his own personal A.I. assistant

Think of it like J.A.R.V.I.S. and it works exactly like it

It oversees Jihoon’s overall health, help him construct weapons and sometimes poppin’ some popcorns for Jihoon during Friday movie nights

Jihoon would also be super agile! He’s really quick on his feet and can do some cool acrobatic s***

Because Jihoon might sit around and construct weapons all day so you’d expect him to be out of shape lol

But Jihoon figured that while he wasn’t tinkering, he’d be running away from the cops or smth so why not start training his cardio right?

So yeah he did a lot of gymnastics and acrobatics

Besides running from the cops, he wants to make memorable entrance and exits in the future, too, lmao

It’s pretty funny bc one second he’d be like Bob the builder and the next he’s tumbling like a f***in ninja

It’s incredible

Anyways

So Jihoon has been plotting his big debut as a super villain for a long time now

He’s so tired of everybody underestimating his power despite him probably being able to ensemble a makeshift grenade in record time to blow your ass off

And he’s also tired of the times people called him cute

He’s not cute, alright?!

It’s been his lifelong dream to be able to look into people’s eyes and see fear in their eyes as he whispers,

“Am I cute now, you little s***?”

And he also decided that his super villain name would be Woozi

O yeah, bc something that means Our Jihoon is so evil. Oooh, I’m shaking in my boots

I’m getting off topic

About his super secret world domination plan..

Woozi had built a robot army to take over the city

I mean, he could’ve done it all by himself but

It’s his big debut, man

Give him a break

In no time, the city was completely taken over by his army of evil robots

He didn’t do anything serious

Just letting his robots do their evil stuff

Pulling out dead 2010 memes on people

Stealing candies from children

The usual

Also, people were already pretty terrified at the thought of a robot uprising so it wasn’t like he needed to work very hard to make people s*** in their pants

At this point, people are screaming, babies are crying; it’s music to Woozi’s ears

And everything’s going to plan until 

OK, WHAT THE F*** IS THAT?

Ok quick backstory: the local factory had been dumping all its illegal waste into the local reservoir, the chemicals contained in the waste genetically transformed some of the wildlife around the reservoir into mutants

Wow did this just become an environmental propaganda?

Nevertheless, don’t litter, kids

Woozi looked ahead at the sight ahead of him and the city was suddenly swarmed by dozens of mutant creatures, animals and plants alike

It’s like Jumanji on steroids

F***in mutts tryna derail his plan of world domination?

Woozi is not having it

So Woozi whipped up random stuff from his tool belt and started to construct a make-shift weapon

And so you got Woozi who’s combating evil wildlife with his Object Animator

Which is like, a gun but instead of firing bullets it would “scan” objects and turn them into data in which he stored in the memory card in the weapon 

HE’S LIKE A POKEMON MASTER

And there are few other heroes from different parts of the city who came, too, bc they heard some crazy guy tried to take over the city

But now instead of seeing some maniac cackling as they watch the robots take over the city, they see animal mutants everywhere like Madagascar: Evil Edition

The hero from a neighbouring city, S.Coups, was throwing mutant elephants here and there like nobody’s business 

Honestly, at this point, the city was a hot mess with robots, evil mutant wildlife and heroes all compiled in one city

Anyways

So you’re one of the city’s local journalist so cliché

You were reporting from the roof of a carpark building

“I s*** you not, viewers, we just saw a flock of two-headed swans chasing down the police forces. You may laugh but have you ever had a swan hot on your trail? It’s the scariest s*** ever. Now imagine it with two heads and multiply it by tEN. Ok wait, let me put down the mic bc I’m gonna pray for the police bc only God can save them now.”

“WHoA, Ben’s Taco is on fIRe, everyone! Lmfao bc f*** Ben, he always charges extra for guacamole so he finally got what’s coming for him. Moving on..”

I’m so sorry if your name is Ben and bc Ben is the least Mexican name ever

You’re pretty controversial bc you speak without any filter but that’s also the reason people love you lol

Anyways, you’re up there reporting, ready to deliver the biggest drag of the century on national TV when a group of winged monkeys decided to go ape s*** lmao get it? ape s***? on you crew

You’re like “Elphaba’s not here. Wrong show !!!”

But of course, did they listen? No.

And somehow you got cornered to the ledge and by the time you realized what’s going on, you’re free falling

Free falling.. falling...

Bonus points to the person who gets this reference

Coincidentally, at that very moment, Woozi was right at the bottom of the building, completely unaware of what had been going on a few meters above

He was shouting at one of his robots for not doing its work properly

“You dips***! Why do you have a cat in your arms! How did you even find it?! I designed you to be evil! EvIL!

“But boss, villains always have a cat in their arms!”

Ok Woozi couldn’t argue with that but

“Priorities!! We’re supposed to tear those mutts apart!! They’re in the way of my plans!!!”

“But I know my priorities!!”

“Oml I should’ve done all of this myself! Now if there’s an answer to all of this f***in mess-”

Woozi had his arms out in exasperation at this point and BAM 

He wasn’t ready when you suddenly fell into his arms lmao

You were lucky you both didn’t fall into a messy heap on the pavement bc Woozi regained his footing pretty quickly

You were definitely ready for sweet, sweet death but you felt like you weren’t falling anymore and

You opened your eyes to see the most beautiful confused face you’ve ever seen???

Your heart did a little backflip in your chest and you’re like

“My hero~” *heart eyes*

Woozi almost dropped you bc he’s anything but

“Who the f*** are you??” he said

“Y/N. And you are?” you asked breathlessly

Now your name sounds familiar to him and he remembered you’re that notorious journalist everyone seem to have a love-hate relationship with

You’re just..blunt and cute

This was like his chance of publicity lol so he was like “Woozi.”

You would have loved to stay and have a little chat with the hero with the clearest eyes you’ve ever seen but he got to go

So that’s how your first encounter went

With you falling into his arms lel

It did take them some time but they eventually managed to save the city

Mostly with the help of Woozi and his robot army

‘well, at least what remained of it’ Woozi thought as he looked at his robots, most only with one of its limbs left attached and barely able to stand

same tbh

People knew this but they were also confused??

Bc wasn’t he the guy to tried to take over the city earlier?? Is he the good guy or the bad guy??

They were pretty baffled but grateful nonetheless

So everyone’s cheering for Woozi and chanting his name and Woozi’s like??? why

Tbh he’s just as confused as you are

“Ok this is not going according to plan.”

And somewhere down on the streets you’re like “YeAH! WOOZI! MA BOI.”

The first person he’s gonna kill after this mess is you for calling him your “boi”

He’s not your “boi”

Anyways, the crowds are chanting and Woozi’s confused

And emerging from the crowd was S.Coups who approached him and was like 

“Dude, you’re pretty cool. Come to the Heroes Conference tomorrow. It’ll be great having you on the team!”

And Jihoon’s never been one to be approached, let alone being invited to something

But despite him not even liking superheroes he couldn’t help the meek “O-Okay” that escaped him

dang it.

HE’S NEW TO THIS SUPERHERO-VILLAIN ORDEAL ALRIGHT? LET HIM LIVE.

And that’s how he finds himself at the Heroes Conference the next morning

So the Heroes Conference is a conference held regularly by the Heroes Association after any sort of event when a super managed to defeat a villain

It’s a way for the Heroes Association and the people appreciate having their city saved

Here, the supposed-hero would receive a token of appreciation, a medal of some sort

And most of the times, new heroes are recruited during these conferences

To say Woozi felt like he’s out of element is an understatement

He couldn’t help but feel like he’s a black sheep there

A supposed-villain surrounded by heroes

Why is he here again?

Well he came bc he thought it’d be weird if someone who everybody thought saved the city doesn't come when a big superhero like S.Coups invited him to get initiated into a team

Unwittingly, he said yes

Yeah, it’s not like he was starstruck or anything

And it’s not like he’s curious, pffffttt what’re you talking about

But he’s been seething inside bc what’s supposed to be his big debut as a super villain was completely ruined by those stupid mutant motherfrickers

His evil daydreams are ruined now 

He was brooding when he heard a familiar voice

“Hey! Woozi!!”

And there you were, approaching him with a sun of a smile and he couldn’t help but feel his breath hitch roll his eyes

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Yeah! It’s me!”

“What do you want?”

You dismissed his tone and was like “Please let me do an interview??”

And he’s like, “Me?? An interview??”

say whaaaaa

Woozi was already in a bad enough mood from being where he doesn’t even want to be

Adding to that fact was you asking him to do an interview was stretching it a little too far

Woozi was so ready to say no

But you’re looking at him with so much admiration?? Nobody has ever looked at him like that?

He couldn’t help but feel his heart melt a little

BUT WAIT HE ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE FEELING LIKE THIS!

HE’S EVIL.

E-VIL.

Woozi wouldn’t admit to himself that he’s weak for you and it’s not even day one lmao

“Fine. Make it quick.”

Seeing the smile that bloomed on your face almost made it worth it

Almost

So that’s how he found himself sitting face to face with you

Honestly, the interview was pretty colorful and entertaining, even to him, with you hosting it

You: “~And BAM your robots just sent that freakin rhino into the gas station and BOOM it exploded!!! And then the monkeys went SWOOSH and then I’m falling!! Right into y o u !!!!”

Honestly he didn't see the point of this interview since you just chronologically explained the whole story but oh well

Woozi had never gotten himself interviewed before but?? wOw aren’t you a handful but he likes it

He didn’t mind, though?? bc all he was thinking throughout the whole interview was you

When the interview finally ended, he almost regretted when he said to make it quick

He couldn’t stop thinking about you that day and they day after that, and the day after that 

So now Woozi has two issues; aside from having a huge f***ing crush on you, now Woozi’s kinda stuck doing the Good Guy stuff

Like, he still doesn’t understand???

How do you do the superhero thing?????

Woozi literally doesn’t know how to superhero

Some days he’ll be on a mission and his teammate suddenly go

“Woozi! The what are you doing?!”

“I’m beating up the bad guys, like you said.”

“...wOOZI THAT’S OUR GUY.”

Whoops

He’s been trying to ask you out for weeks but all of his free time is now spent doing boring good hero stuff

He couldn’t even use his explosives anymore

Trust him when he said he asked

Why did he agree to this again??

But what he didn’t expect was how much he’s been seeing you?

Like, for reals, this town is super heh problematic istg

So Woozi gets to see you a lot irl bc well, you’re a journalist

But you seem to be always at the right place at the wrong time whenever whatever happens and he saved your ass more than he could count

Like, there was the time a super-robbery happened

Yes, super-robbery, bc regular robbery is boring and apparently, aside from being problematic, this town is also very extra when it comes to crimes

And you somehow found yourself as a hostage? Like hOW?

And another time when you got kidnapped for ransom? You were pretty calm about it tho but Woozi’s the one getting grey hair bc of you

But you could say it was also the right time bc Woozi got to swoop in to save your ass multiple times, too

And from all the times he did save you, you just...fell for a little more??

Bc by the end of it, while he nags at you for being so useless and careless and everything in between, you know he cares

What a tsundere

Ok but this is where it gets fun

So Jihoon had a rough night, so he decided to maybe get some fresh air, right?

So he was walking around with his earphones on when wait.. is that?

You were cornered by a group of what seems like drunken men and Jihoon’s like here we go

How do you find yourself in this kind of situation all the time?

“Get away from her, you dick!”

You were a little bit surprised when you heard someone shouting

You weren’re really expecting someone to notice so you were shocked when this guy showed up with the scariest pissed-off look you’ve ever seen

And the drunk guys just sneered bc who is this squirt?

Oh but Jihoon’s familiar with the condescending looks in their eyes

Jihoon had experienced his fair share throughout his high school days alright

So he used everything he’s ever learned from always getting made fun of for his height

He kicked one of the f***ers in the kneecaps, grabbed your hand and ran

You finally stopped when you’re sure you’re safe enough and you couldn’t help but admire this stranger who just saved you

“My hero~”

Do you say that to every single one of your savior? bc Jihoon is getting major flashbacks now

Of course, you felt very very grateful for getting saved so you wanted to treat this cute stranger

“Here, let me treat you to some coffee. I insist.”

And that’s how he found himself sitting across from you in a quaint coffee shop

“Thank you so much for saving me!”

And Jihoon swore under his breath bc there it is again

That smile

“No problem.”

You couldn’t help but think that the guy looked kinda familiar??

“So tell me about yourself!” you said

‘Well, you actually know me but not the real me but I’ve been pinning on you from day one but this is not how I imagined our first date would be like.’ Jihoon wanted to say but he figured he’ll just sound like a creep lol

Wait is this a date? F***

“Uh, I play the guitar???” 

Nice, Jihoon, smooth.

Hey, a supervillain can have a hobby, alright?

And Jihoon didn’t know how it happened but you seemed interested in what he has to say and he ended up having a lot of fun talking to you??

The conversation went for a long time that he didn’t realize it’s been hours since he left headquarters and he’s still got things to do and he’s like crap gtg

And you’re like “Oh! You need to go?? I really enjoyed talking to you.. Maybe we can..meet again??” 

Bruh, you may look super cool and suave outside but you’re literally freaking out inside bc !!! You’re actually asking this cute stranger guy out !!!

And that’s how Lee Jihoon ended up back in the headquarter, everything’s the same except for the number written on the entire length of his right arm in black ink

But then the next morning people were shookth from the obvious series of numbers written on his arm lmaoo

The other peeps on the team was like, “OoOoO are you dAting someone???”

“S.Coups, I know you can’t fly and I will not hesitate to push you off this ledge and make it seem like an accident if you don’t step away this instant.”

*S.Coups backing away slowly*

One of the team members almost prank called you claiming to be Woozi but then he got strangled by Jihoon lmao

You and Jihoon started to hang out more often

One time you guys (you guys as in you and Jihoon, you’re still unaware of his alter ego apparently smh) were talking about your favorite supers and Woozi came up in the conversation

“I don’t know, I just really like him.”

That caught his interest

“Uh, why?”

“Because! He’s so cool, don’t you think??? Saved me couple times, too. What a man.”

Lmao, more like hundreds of times

Woozi couldn’t count how many times he had to save your ass now

“But why do you even like him? He’s not like S.Coups or anything. He’s not..nice.”

You looked at him a little offended bc 

Did he really just say that? In front of your f***ing salad?

“Uhm, excuse me but he cares about other people, Jihoon! Just because someone’s nice doesn’t mean he’s good!”

Jihoon never thought he’d hear someone say something so nice about him?? For once, someone actually cared about him

And it feels...nice

And if he had a huge crush on you then, by now he’s f***ing flipped

“Plus, I’d totally date him.”

Choke

So you guys obviously starting to like each other more and more; him bc of your, uh, refreshing personality and him bc of his blunt nature

What a charming couple, honestly

But he couldn’t work up the nerve to ask you out when he’s not wearing his super-villain, er, hero costume

But he can’t help it now!!!

He needs to do something about this stupid crush!!!

It’s taking over his brain

It’s taking over his life

HE ALMOST DIED ON A MISSION THINKING ABOUT YOU

They really weren’t kidding when they said that love is a disease bc he feels like he gets heart attacks whenever you smile and him and it makes him want to write stupid love songs about you and it’s just ugh

He’s a swimming lovesick fool around you

But Woozi isn’t keen on grand gestures

So one day, he finally swallowed his nerves and went up to you after work  in his super suit 

And you were like,”Woozi!! It’s you!!”

But then he took of his mask in front of you

And “Wait, what? W ho? Jihoon????”

Again, how you’ve ever put the pieces together baffles me smh

“Yeah. It’s me.” He looked like he’s ready to s*** his pants tbh

“Look, I hate your stupid face. I hate that you made me think about you everyday. I can’t even look at a monkey the same way without ending up thinking about you now. I hate that your smile always gives me heart attacks. So let’s just get this over with. Y/N, do you want to go out with me?”

Lmao w hat

Is he...asking you out???

So all this time, Woozi is Jihoon and Jihoon is Woozi?

IT MAKES SENSE NOW

Sigh

So you stood there gaping like a fish

Which kinda reminded him of when his robot short-circuited, cute.

And Woozi’s ready to flee the scene and go home and spend his night eating a tub of ice cream while writing a two-page essay on how you will never ever be together and hide under his covers and–

“Alright, let’s go on a date.”

Well, he be da**ed.

Did you just agree to go out with him??

He feels like he can take over the world now

But maybe later bc now, he has a date to attend to ;)

(But honestly, if he had asked you without the suit and all, you’d still pick him.)

(Because in the end, you fell for Jihoon, not Woozi.)

(But also you’re feeling lucky bc you happen to like both so what a steal.)

[brittaninikolenow]

Down in MexiCali

Hello Internet,

I appologize for not having updated as much as possible but i'm still getting used to blogging and documenting my crazy career. I figured I’d kick it off with the story of my very first show and how I survived.

In 2015 I was brought into a local wrestling promotion in New Orleans and was going to be trained by the current ring announcer/host/interviewer who was looking to move into a more manager or GM spot. I was thrilled since I didn’t think someone like me would get in so fast. Just a month before I was deciding that I would take a chance and try to get into the wrestling business on the media side of things and break barriers for others like me. So I was over the moon to be already being set up to be trained. But like most things that are too good to be true it was. I showed up to practice three times a week and sat there and watched and watched and watched as the trainees learned lock ups, chaining, and how to call a match in the ring. It was fascinating for me and I learned a lot but what I didn’t learn was announcing or interviews. When it was time to train me there was never time and finally the current announcer had a fight with the the owner and head trainer and left. So when the next show came around they came to me to take his place. I had been watching WWE and UFC my whole life however doing it infront of an audience, I had only practiced at home with my Hello Kitty karaoke mic. But I put on a smile and told them I was ready (I wasn’t ready) and then they told me where the next show would be, a special first time ever show.....in San Diego California! Oh and then a trip to TJ,Mexico. No big deal...

Even though I was screaming inside I got a passport and realized this was happening no matter what I did. So in June 2015 I packed my bags and got into a passenger van for a 27 hour drive. A 27 hour drive with no sleep due to the fact I was riding with 11 other people and a second passenger van carrying 10 more people driving behind us. It was a long trip I hadn’t slept and I looked like something from Tge Walking Dead. Once we entered San Diego we stopped for tacos and it turned out to be a small little joint right next to a UFC gym and as soon as we pulled up out walked Ken Sharock so that was a fun moment. Then once the second passenger van showed up it was decided we would go eat again. More tacos of course. The restaurant was fantastic and all Lucha inspired when I get back there I will be hitting up Lucha Libre Taco Shop again for sure. It was then that we had to go out on the town and explore downtown San Deigo....I did not want to go I was beyond tired and wanting nothing but to lay in bed so I could prepare myself for the shows to come that weekend. Finally we made it to the house, everyone slightly intoxicated and tired. We had 22 people in an air bnb that was suppose to fit twelve, then we added 4 more wrestlers from Mexico and with only 2 bathrooms showering and getting ready turned into a very interesting experience. The next morning we bought some geroceries and came back and made breakfast....tacos, yup, more tacos.

That morning June 11th, 2015 was the morning of our first show down in Mexicali and my first experience with hosting and some announcing. That day was also a sad day. Later that morning there was many tweets and retweets going on from WWE that “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes had passed away. I was devastated, Dusty is an idol of mine and I dreamed of working and learning from him. He was an icon that had the ability to teach, grow, and learn for himself and others throughout his life. I sat down on the kitchen floor and was so sad I knew my dream of working with him wasn’t going to come true. But I knew that night was my first show ever and on my own and I was going to make this weekend a dedication to him. We traveled down to the show and they also had a ring announcer who spoke Spanish to announce the Lucha matches so it saved me because I hadn’t learned Spanish yet. Then once the show was halfway over and my job was done I was handed a phone and told to commentate on a live steaming periscope for the internet. Commentary?! Me?! I can’t announce yet and I’m doing commentary?! I sucked it up and did my best. I hope no one has a recording of it though for it would be the best blackmail.

We took a break the next day to visit TJ Mexico. It was amazing, we met up with a ring gear specialist who created so much ring gear for local and international wrestlers, there was horse back riding on the beach, and of course more tacos the best tacos I’ve had ever. It was a great experience and made me fall in love with Mexico.

That weekend was the big show on the naval base in San Diego. I was going to be the sole announcer, host, and interviewer. I was super nervous, but trying to hide it, Chavo Guerrero noticed me pacing back and forth and called me over. I sat next to him and he asked how long I had been doing this. When I told him this was my first time he gave me some great advise and told me how to rev up the crowd and the energy I should put into announcing the performers. Most of all he told me to have fun and that I can do this. After that I got everyone’s info for the show, talked to the sound guy for music cues, and went to check out the ring. There was no steps to enter the ring on. I don’t know if you’ve tried to step up onto a 4ft platform in heels and a short dress but it’s not fun. I found a wobbly bench and improvised. Every time I stepped down on it I felt like my first solo show was going to be my last. But I had Chavo in my corner so what could go wrong right? Well halfway through the show the music stopped, full on died and wasn’t coming back just as I was about to announce the next match. So I had to do something so I began to clap and stomp, the audience followed along and it gave an energy for the enterance of the wrestlers. I couldn’t have let the crowd be dead for the match that would of been a hosting nightmare. I’m glad I reacted the way I did because it gave at least an energized enterance for them. Once the show was over I was relieved and tired. Also I don’t remember much of the actual show because my adrenaline was going so much. Regardless it was my first feat at in ring work, out of state work, and my first pay day.

So there you have it. Long rides, fear, joy, problems, advise from great entertainers, wrestling, and tacos...so many tacos. I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. I was thrown into this business head first and I survived. Not a perfect beginning but I have continued on, made life long friends, and I’m still here learning and living.

Until next time xoxo

[ecotone99]

(NF) Writers Block Party

Some years ago, after just having moved to LA and not knowing a single person (which lead to several failed attempts at online dating), I decided to start doing stand up as a means to socialize. I'd always been interested in trying stand up but it suddenly felt necessary. A very rare surge of undeniable, unstoppable confidence was coursing through my veins. Even had one of those "You're here! Why not just try?" talks with myself. So I did it. I found a spot in Hermosa Beach that did open mics and I committed. I hunkered down for the next few nights and with the aid of several bottles of wine, I wrote a 5 minute set that I enjoyed. I timed myself saying the whole thing over and over as I paced around my living room, tinkering with various inflections, timing, movements, energies and characters. Getting everything tuned to, what I hoped would be, the exact right frequency. The day of the open mic (and as a way to prevent myself from backing out) I text a friend of mine and told him that I was going to do my first open mic that night. He cheered me on and gave me some advice. "Laugh. Participate. The other comedians will notice and return the favor." So I did just that. I nervously and rather unintentionally polished off several whiskey gingers as the hour of the open mic approached. I laughed. I participated. And eventually, I went up. It felt like a blur. A silent, panic indused blur. I remember getting one laugh the whole set. And then. It was over. A small uneven applause followed me down the steps and back to my seat. Pity applause for the first timer. But I took it gladly. People get booed. People get jeered. I got silence. Silence and one good laugh. I was hooked. I wanted to keep trying. To push forward. So I worked on new material, (No way I could ever touch that garbage fire that was my first set again) and went to other open mics, even getting into the habit of doing several open mics a night. After a couple of years of this sort of routine and feeling like I was finally starting to lose my fear of doing stand up, I decided to be proactive in the creative community I'd found myself in and put together a "Writers Jam/Dinner Party". My pitch was something like"If there's anything you've written or are working on and would like to share/perform/receive constructive criticism on, come do it here. We'll have drinks and a big meal and share ideas." The idea, to my surprise, was a hit. Friends even made their home available to us for the event and prepared a big meal for the gathering. I was riding a high. But, like Icarus (Oh yes, I did just compare myself to Icarus), my confidence would almost immediately fly too close to the sun, as I set in motion an event I would regret underestimating for the rest of my life. My ego was living the good life, blinders set to "limo tint". Then, the day of the dinner arrives. That morning and afternoon seemed to pull me in every direction except for the direction where I get time to prepare and focus on the magnitude of the bill of goods I had sold off as a creative safe space. I didn't rehearse my set...I showed up late...I brought taco bell for myself. I felt like a true dickhead. Albeit an unintentional one, but a dickhead none the less. We gathered around the table in the dining room, bringing in extra chairs for the extra bodies that crammed together to fit the space, and as the chatter slowed and the focus shifted, I felt the room ready to hear the "Start" of the night. All eyes on me, I stood and greeted the room, thanking everyone for coming. I explained how the night was going to go and that if anyone just felt like auditing, that was okay as well. Then, after suggesting that I should probably "kick things off", I launched into what can only be described as a near death experience. Not one minute into my set does it suddenly hit me, I've never performed in front of anyone I know before. And now here I was. Staring into dozens of recognizable faces. Seeing the reactions of people I hung out with. Spent time with. Was myself with. And now they were seeing my shtick. The thought made me crumble and once the avalanche started, it didn't stop until I was upside down and buried. I started laughing (more of a nervous giggle really) and it didnt stop. It remained so that I forgot my ideas. Sweating, trembling, covering my face while laughing. I felt like a car that was puttering to get going only to suddenly lurch left and crash into a wall. I eventually gave up. I shared the cause of my demise and abruptly took a seat, all of the blood in my body resting heavy in my face. And then pity applause reared its ugly head, yet again. My face was on fire. I felt the urge to dig a hole to the center of the earth and live there for the rest of my life but just as I was about to reach for my shovel, a hand suddenly shot up at the opposite end of the table. "You mentioned giving constructive critism, is it okay if we do that?" I didn't know the woman who asked the question. I laughed and said, "Sure." I had been the one to kill my own horse afterall. What could she possibly do but put me out of my misery? But she explained that she'd love to hear me expand on my ideas. To go into more detail in my bits. "Sound advice," I thought and thanked her for her notes. Another hand went up. This time from a friend who had done stand up years before. I sighed now knowing that he had been no more than two feet away from the disaster. Information I did not want or need in my brain. He smirked and playfully suggested I work on my transitions. Eventually I managed to pass the torch to the table, giving the floor to any who dare follow in my footsteps. Without much hesitation the next person took the spotlight and the rest of the night carried on without a hitch. Throughout dinner, people shared stories they'd written, sketch ideas they were working on, a couple of film and music projects were workshopped, and even just a little more stand up made its way into the night. At the end of the evening, as people eventually made their ways out the door, they exchanged information, thanked each other for their opinions and asked when we all might hang out again. It has been almost six years since that night and I still get hot in the face when I think about it. Most of the time, the memory rushes at me like a childhood bully without any instigation from my end. But, I suppose it is my brain showing me a memory of me so I guess, technically, every end is my end. I am the bully and the victim (a very cool relationship to have with yourself). But I can finally say this. Things aren't all bad and all hope is not lost. After years of my brain showing me my failures, perhaps out of necessity to save my own sanity, I finally considered the rest of the event which had been a complete and total success in every way. I was the proverbial lamb to the slaughter, I thought. After seeing such intense failure, people knew they would be fine. I had kicked off the night by removing fear from the room. As negative as I felt for so long, I was suddenly able to see some positive (possibly a delusion of grandeur) in it all. I was the human sacrifice. The martyr. The one that must die so the many can live. And that might be as positive as any of this gets.

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[superfitbabe]

I can attest and say that this was one of the BEST vegan events I have ever attended in terms of universality. You know those events where you NAIL it in food but you don’t quite meet everyone you want, or events where you check off every single box for the individual you want to meet, but the food is sub-par? Well, I will say that this year, VegFest LA’s vendors for food, lineup of influencers, crowds, and overall ambience were A++.

Now, let’s get onto the recap, shall we?

  While exploring the venues, I saw Cami Peytn of Supreme Banana on YouTube once again! She was bubbly and funny as ever, and I absolutely love her outfit! She was present for a macaroni and cheese cooking contest sponsored by Thrive Market at the Learning Kitchen. I wasn’t sure if I would get a chance to meet her again, so I took the opportunity to snag a photo of the two of us. Absolutely love all her veganized videos, but I subscribed for her videos where she showcases her friendly and authentic personality!

At the Learning Kitchen was Zoe Rooster who is a fifteen year-old animal farm sanctuary owner in SLO known for her TEDx talk regarding animal rights. My friends and I actually visited her sanctuary at a pop-up pizza and pigs event that I recapped in a previous post! She is so so so sweet and inspiring to me. In fact, she came onto my college campus several times to lead protests and interventions of animals that would be slaughtered for agriculture events. The energy in her passion for saving animal lives is incredible and contagious. It’s something remarkable that you don’t see in a lot of people!

Before watching the macaroni and cheese cooking contest, I got hungry for something fresh but flavorful. No oily pizza or philly cheese steak sandwiches for me today! After exploring, I settled on a sushi veggie burrito with a side of hot dorito flakes from Oono Sushi. It was LOADED with cucumber, seaweed, avocado, sweet tofu skin, and rice wrapped in Nori. I was contemplating on whether to buy something a bit more “out there” for the sake of photos, but I knew I would regret it afterwards. I did NOT regret this burrito whatsoever. It was hearty but also didn’t weigh me down after finishing it. The flakes added the perfect kick to the refreshing and somewhat sweet ingredients.

Commence the cooking contest! The contestants were That Vegan Mom, Caitlin Shoemaker of From My Bowl, and Cami Petyn of Supreme Banana. The macaroni and cheese varieties were poblano, taco, and Sriracha respectively. That Vegan Mom ended up winning the contest based on the judges’ (three individuals picked from the audience) consensus. Since there wasn’t enough to go round, most people only got one sample. I ended up trying Caitlin’s taco macaroni and cheese with gluten free chickpea pasta, potato and carrot-based cheese, and blue corn tortilla chips on top. It was DIVINE!

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Of course, I had to say hello to Caitlin herself! Her blog, Instagram, and YouTube channel inspire me not for aesthetic reasons, but honestly for the effort and hard work that exudes in her photos and writing. The dedication she channels into her work really show how passionate she is about what she does, which is something everyone should strive for! Now I’m even more pumped to pursue all opportunities in food science that I can get my hands on! But of course, her vegan recipes look magnificent.

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Inside the tent, I also got a chance to greet Chris of Conscious Chris, Amanda from ApplesandAmandas, Jasmine of Sweet Simple Vegan, and Russell of RollerCoasterVegan as well! I met these amazing individuals before, and for good reason. Jasmine and Chris continue to inspire me with their incredibly creative recipes through and through, whereas Amanda’s journey in dietetics as a vegan is so fascinating. They’re also ALL down to earth and sweet people.

Walked to the other side of VegFest and low and behold, saw Mike of Mic the Vegan. I just HAD to say hello. His review of What the Health and his video on oil and the quality you need to stay vegan got me hooked on his channel, and I really appreciate how he utilizes science to his ADVANTAGE rather than a dismissive manner. It’s not common to see YouTubers use evidence that lacks in credibility because “science cannot be trusted”. Now I know that there are some gray areas in this argument, but I think that in many cases, the scientific consensus positively enforced a vegan diet. And that’s what makes Mike amazing!

Okay more food FINALLYYYYYY right?! To be fair, I basically grazed all the free samples before deciding on my purchases! You’ll see the samples later in this post. But anyways, my next target was the Eat Love Yoga bakery’s vegan cinnamon roll! Believe it or not, this was the LAST cinnamon roll they had in stock. I was so lucky! Bonus: I got chocolate sauce drizzled on top. Man oh man, saying that this cinnamon roll was glorious is an understatement. It is literally made from the gods. Dough was soft and fluffy, glaze was slightly crispy, cinnamon is aromatic, and the chocolate sauce was comforting! I kind of wish they had more because I wanted to eat ten more of their cinnamon rolls. Not gonna lie!

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Charlie’s Brownies was a vendor I didn’t purchase from in Vegan Street Fair, so I did the opposite to make up for lost times. I thought the brownie sundae would have been too heavy, so I selected the stand-alone white chocolate blondie! Perfect decision. Basically should be the base of my birthday cake. I still got the comforting creamy and sticky texture with the delicious sweetness that I craved. It was almost like baked peanut butter or cookie butter! I’ll be sure to try their brownie sundae or any of their menu items that include ice cream next time!

Quite a lot of my vegan friends introduced me to That Vegan Couple on YouTube. I didn’t think I’d find anything new from Natasha and Luca’s channel, but boy, was I wrong. Their recaps of promoting veganism on the streets and openly discussing the vegan lifestyle with common folk are incredibly interesting! With that aside, I love their mukbangs and recipe videos, but I adore Natasha and Luca even more because they go out of their way to share veganism by touring public facilities and instigating thought and discussion. They’re absolutely wonderful and I highly recommend you check them out!

Speaking of couples, I saw Ryan and Anji of Happy Healthy Vegan as well! The first time I met them was at my first ever Vegan Street Fair in 2017. They were so kind and genuine! My roommates and I make their classic guacamole recipe all the time and I love Anji’s oil free ratatouille. I recently started watching their videos discussing more sub-topics in veganism and the misinformation against veganism. Ryan and Anji know that it’s really important not to blindly believe what you read, especially anything that justifies why veganism is not ideal. Also, they have this kind of sass that I think is really funny!

Wow, here’s an unlikely vegan influencer! But in all seriousness, I am just like ANY other vegan who will approach any animal, let alone any dog stalker. Best Friend Animal Society was showcasing their organization and had some adopted rescue dogs as well. This three year-old mixed Staffordshire is named Ryan! He was so gentle and friendly. But seeing him also broke my heart since I started thinking about all the dogs that aren’t so lucky. In addition, I held so much regret for not insisting that my current dog be adopted. But hope struck when I recognized that I could still adopt and rescue a dog myself once I find my own place to live one or two years from now. This, THIS image right here, encompasses why I’m staying vegan for as long as I live.

Last item is actually a takeaway! I am a HUGE HUGE HUUUUUUUUGE fan of Cupcake Wars, and I was so delighted to finally kick myself in the booty and try Dreamy Creations. They are a cupcake line with vegan cupcakes and have won Cupcake Wars…TWICE. They know their business. Even though I forgot the specific flavors, it was exciting to dig into them and be surprised by each flavor! My favorite was the top middle cupcake with the toasted coconut flakes, but all the cupcakes were heavenly indeed! The cupcake to frosting ratio was absolutely perfect. I hate it when cupcakes have too much frosting and I end up dumping the frosting all together!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BidcxJHg85D/?taken-by=superfitbabe

Now, here are most of the samples I got to try! Check out the Instagram post above!

​

VegFest L.A. 2018 Recap I can attest and say that this was one of the BEST vegan events I have ever attended in terms of universality.