#like obvs it's not like I expected anything from the G O P but this man is a fucking hack who hates the poor of appalachia

[rimouskis]

as someone who's been living in Appalachia for most of my adult life, the fucking idiot who just got chosen as the conservative VP pick is a charlatan who made his name by looking down upon a misunderstood and mocked region and its lower class. un-fucking-believable.

[scorpiussage]

NSFW Alphabet - Johnathan Crane (Scarecrow) 

- I’m not much of a DC fan so this is entirely based off the Nolan movies and what we see of Cillian Murphy’s Scarecrow 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Not an aftercare man at all. For real, you’d be lucky if he stayed in bed next to you after he’s done fucking you - he’s busy and got things to do and places to be. 

But, I think that if you caught him at a vulnerable moment (Scarecrow giving him extra grief or him struggling with the Batman) he might indulge in some cuddling but it would be very short lived and he’d expect you to never bring it up again.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Loves someone with a brilliant mind, body doesn’t matter to him at all. He just wants someone who’s crazy matches his crazy. 

He’s literally so vain though, like he will not leave the house unless he looks perfect and put together. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn’t really have much of a preference to where he cums, just that he does. Most of the time it’ll be in you but he has been known to like to finish on your face from time to time. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Scarecrow is obv his big secret, but I think that if he took the time to pursue a relationship with you, it would be because both him and Scarecrow are attracted to you. So that might be a dirty secret of his, that he likes to let the other guy take control some times so that he can get his quality time in with you too.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced, he’s always been a huge dork and also very career driven so he’s never put any time into having sex. That said, he’s incredibly knowledgeable about the human body so even though he’s not very experienced, he knows all the best places to touch you.

F = Favourite Position (idk the names of any sex positions so Im just going try and describe them)

Johnathan is a massive control freak and so his favorite positions are all ones that put him in control of you. You on your knees with your face pressed into the mattress and your hands tied behind your back is a particular favorite of his. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He is literally not capable of being goofy and silly. It’s just not who he is. So sex will always be incredibly intense and serious.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Not very intimate nor romantic (though he could be if he wanted to, he just doesn’t want to) 

Don’t get it twisted though, he’s possessive and even though he may not show his affections like other people, you belong to him and he’ll remind you of it regularly. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Doesn’t masturbate beyond getting excess energy out. He’s not got the time for that.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He’s got a huge doctor/patient kink to the point he’d convince you to get admitted to Arkham so that he could be your doctor and “give you treatments” 😉 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

His office at Arkham or whatever seedy warehouse he’s using that week, he’s not picky.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Control and fear are pretty obvious motivators for him. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything church or religion related is a big yikes to him. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He will only give you head if it means a new way to dominate and control you into doing something he wants. That’s just sort of his personality. 

He’s personally pretty eh about receiving. It feels good and makes him cum, but he could also get that from fucking you so it’s not a necessity.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Not slow or fast so much as brutal and intense. Getting fucked by Johnathan is absolutely world ending and also too much. You’ll only be able to handle one round at a time from him. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s not one for quickies usually just because he’s very work focused and you absolutely will not tear him away from whatever new thing he’s doing. He has allotted time set aside to fuck you and he will not do it outside of that time.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He loves taking risks, it’s sort of his whole thing because there’s a tie in to fear. You have to be someone who will go along with whatever he wants because if you don’t, he’ll get bored with you very fast.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Average stamina. He could probably do sexathons but he doesn’t have the time for that, his experiments take priority. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own toys personally but if you own them, he’ll for sure use them on you regularly. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Nothing would turn him on more than teasing you to the point of tears. He’s an absolute sadist about that and he’s unapologetic about it too. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not loud, actually very quiet but when Scarecrow is in the drivers seat, he does a lot of dirty talk. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He’s the kind of man who loves one and only one. So if you start a relationship with him, there’s no ending that relationship, you’re his forever. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Long and average width. Cock size doesn’t matter with a guy like this, he’ll make you cum regardless. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Pretty low sex drive, he’s not really someone who spends a lot of time thinking about sex. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t sleep until he’s certain he’s in a safe location. So unless you do it at his place, he’s not one to fuck and then immediately fall asleep. 

[looooooooomis]

F I N A L  G I R L  |  O N E

You were his final girl.  And there was no chance in hell that anyone or anything was going to mess that up.

p a r t   o n e  |  c o r n   m a z e

masterlist here 

pairing: Billy Loomis x f!reader  word count: 4.3k warnings: implied/referenced cheating, swearing (obv), angst, drinking, fluff, pending smut + mentions of smut. as mentioned, part 2 will be allllllllll the smut x

You were going to kill Randy.

In fact, as the five of you crossed the threshold into the corn maze, you thought of the various ways you could do it without it coming back to you. You could strangle him with the tape of one of his precious Jamie Lee Curtis flicks, you could push an entire shelving unit of said movies on him during one of his shifts, hell, you could just lure him over to your house with the promise of sex before ultimately throwing him out your window. Any of the above sounded good to you tonight because the bastard was running late. Which meant that you were currently fifth wheeling on what was supposed to be a slightly boozy corn maze with your friends. Only now it was a slightly boozy corn maze with yourself and two loved up couples as you all impatiently waited for the idiot to arrive.

Yeah, you were definitely going to kill Randy.

You and Randy were friends, had been for years, and you were always there for each other when it came to these types of activities. Nobody liked being a fifth wheel but at least with two single people in your little gaggle of friends, it made things easier. You were happy as a clam being single, you preferred it in many ways if you were being honest, but at least with Randy around, you could ignore the weight of his stare.

Billy’s stare.

His brown eyes were on you constantly. You could feel them on your skin, feel them raking over every inch of you as though he was trying to soak you in from afar. His stare had a weight to it, you found. No matter how far away he was or where you two were – be it at school or hanging out or even in a goddamn corn maze – you felt him all over you.

At least with Randy around, it was easy to ignore. The two of you could joke around and escape the couples long enough to focus on anything else but the weight of Billy’s stare. But tonight, it was impossible to ignore, and you hated Randy in that moment for unknowingly leaving you with the one man you hadn’t been able to get out of your head for the better part of three years.

You hated Billy more, though, for making you feel as though every inch of your skin was on fire. For making you feel this level of guilt each and every time you hung around with Sid. Sid was one of your best friends, as was Tatum, which only made this entire situation so much worse.

“You think they’ll kick us out if they find out we’re loaded?” Stu asked with a quiet chuckle, glancing behind them for effect as though he was being tailed by the owners of the farm.

Tatum smacked his chest. “Maybe if you said it a little louder, Shit for Brains.”

Stu giggled again and slipped his hand into his jacket before pulling out a mickey of cheap vodka wrapped haphazardly in a brown paper bag. “Then I guess they’d be really mad at this.”

Tatum opened her mouth to tell him off but seeing it as your only saving grace, you reached across the divide and plucked it out of his hands to take a big sip. The vodka burned all the way down your throat, and you could feel all eyes on you as you licked the remainder of it from your lips and bottled it back up before handing it back to Stu. “You’re a saint, Stu.”

“Damn, Y/N,” Tatum laughed, “I can’t even be mad at that.”

Stu was smirking across at you, knowing exactly why you were choosing the bottle tonight which only made you feel worse than you did. Of course he knew. Where there was a Billy, there was a Stu. The pair didn’t have secrets between them much to your chagrin which only made nights like this all the more awkward.

“Everything okay, Y/N?” Sid asked, sweet as ever.

Your stomach twisted in your gut at the genuine concern radiating off of Sid’s features and your heart fell into your stomach when you watched her lovingly place her head on Billy’s shoulder. Where the fuck was Randy?

“All good, Sid,” you smacked on a breezy grin and shot her what you only hoped was a convincing wink. “I haven’t done a corn maze since I was a kid, just preparing myself is all.”

Tatum leaned into Stu’s lean torso and frowned. “Why? You scared?”

“Nah, she’s not scared,” Stu hummed, grinning across at you with a gleam in his eye. “On edge, maybe. Why so jittery, girl?”

You rolled your eyes and flipped him the bird just as Billy spoke up. “She’s not jittery, pencil dick,” his velvety voice was closer than you’d expected and when you saw him reach for the bottle in Stu’s pocket to take a rather big gulp himself, you swallowed hard. “She’s just getting this party started.”

You held his stare for a moment, feeling your entire body light up like a switchboard, before the familiar voice of Randy rang out. Breathlessly, he waved you all down and grinned. “What’s this I hear about a party?”

Tatum rolled her eyes and hugged her jacket closer to her body. “About time you got here, dick, it’s fucking freezing out here.”

“I know a way we can warm up,” Stu teased as he leaned down to nibble at her neck.

Despite your mood, you found yourself smiling across at the pair. They were a good match and you could tell that Stu genuinely made Tatum happy. Just as Billy made Sid happy. Your smile fell at the thought.

Randy’s eyes circled around your group of friends briefly before he threw an arm around your unsuspecting shoulders. “What did I miss?”

“The usual,” you chimed in, smiling across at him. “Tatum and Stu sucking face, Billy and Sid cuddling up and me drinking my weight in cheap beer from Stu’s dad’s mini fridge in the garage.”

Randy grinned. “I chugged a couple beers before I left the video store, so good to know we’re all on the same level.”

Your chest was already starting to feel lighter now that Randy was around. Granted, Billy’s eyes hadn’t left yours for a second since Randy slung his arm around you, but that was to be expected. At least you had Randy here now. With that kind of distraction, you’d be just fine.

“Why don’t we make this interesting?” Billy suggested, running a hand through his unruly mop of brown hair. When everyone’s eyes were on him, you could have sworn he gave you a little smirk before shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “We should split up.”

“Fuck that,” Tatum laughed, “no chance in hell.”

“Yeah,” Sid agreed quietly, “I don’t know.”

“That’s literally what they tell you not to do in scary movies,” you chuckled. “When everyone splits up, trouble starts.”

Sid shivered and leaned into Billy’s chest. “Yeah, Billy, I don’t know. I don’t think that’s a great idea.”

“Oh, come on,” he was grinning excitedly now, looking between Stu and Randy for backup. “It’ll be like the movies. Dumb teenagers wander into a corn maze and split up for the sake of the plot. Halloween’s tomorrow - why the hell not, right?”

A slow grin began to pull on Stu’s face as he listened to Billy. There was a mutual understanding between the two men in that instance and if you blinked for just a second longer, you would have missed it.

It made you nervous.

“Dumb teens wander into a corn maze on the night before Halloween,” Randy repeated, “you know what, I like it. I’m in.”

You snapped your neck up to look at him. “What the hell happened to the Do’s and Don’ts of a horror movie? This is easily number one: Don’t split up.”

But Randy only shrugged. “I’m still a virgin, I’m safe.”  

“How about you three idiots stick together,” Tatum gestured to the boys, “and the three of us stick together. Whoever makes it out first gets a prize.”

You and Sid were nodding along to her words, but Stu simply pulled her in for a quick kiss and laughed. “Or we all split up and see where the night takes us.”

“I’m not Lewis and Clark, Stu,” you grumbled, “I had every intention of letting Randy and Sid lead us out of here alive while the rest of us idiots followed.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” Billy smirked across at you, “I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Sid seemed to still be unsure of the entire situation as she mulled over the suggestion. “Y/N is right, what if people get left behind?”

“It’s corn, not the berlin wall,” Stu pointed out incredulously. “Fucking walk through the stacks until you find an exit if you get too lost.” As if on cue, Stu’s eyes lit up as he noticed one particular bend of the maze that held six different options. With a burst of laughter, he took off running towards it and pointed to his newfound discovery. “If this isn’t fate, I don’t know what is.”

You, Sid, and Tatum begrudgingly followed the boys to where Stu now stood giddily beaming across at everyone. “This is a stupid fucking idea,” Tatum grumbled as she took her place in the row beside her boyfriend. “We only brought one flashlight, how do you idiots plan on seeing the route?”

“Here,” Billy gently tossed the flashlight to Tatum and shrugged. “Moon is bright enough for me.”

With another roll of her eyes Tatum flicked the flashlight on and scowled across at her route. “Girls, if you see a flashlight, come to me.”

Stu laughed. “What about me?”

“You lost that right when you agreed to this stupid idea,” she groused. “You’re on your own.”

Grinning – and probably much drunker than he gave himself credit for – Stu rubbed his hands together and began counting down from three.

“You okay to do this, Sid?” You found yourself asking. Her mother had only died a few months prior and the idea of the poor girl meandering around alone in a cornfield sounded barbaric considering what she’d just been through.

“I’m fine,” Sid vowed, “I’ll see you guys soon.”

“It’s okay, Sid,” Randy muttered. “You’re safe, I promise.”

By the time Stu reached one, you took a hesitant step forward and embraced the darkness that surrounded you once you delved further and further down your path. You could hear the footsteps and crunches of the stacks around you as your friends eventually all split up to take their own trail and you swore that you heard Randy bump into Sid a few minutes in, putting you slightly at ease to know she wasn’t going through the maze alone. But, as time went on and you continued to circle the gigantic moonlight maze by yourself, your nerves began to eat away at you.

You weren’t one to scare easy but there was something about being on your own in the middle of a corn maze that was eerily off-putting. You’d seen Children of the Corn one too many times to feel at ease right now and the fact you could only see a few feet in front of you at any given time wasn’t helping one iota.

Hugging your denim jacket tighter around your body, you turned left and were met with a dead end. Groaning, you threw your head back in defeat and turned on your heel to retrace your steps but stopped when you heard a loud snap come from the wall of tall corn stacks before you. Swallowing hard, you narrowed your eyes in an attempt to see through the wall of decaying crop, but it was to no avail.

You couldn’t see a damned thing.

Another snap of a corn stock echoed out before you, making your skin crawl. Why the fuck had you agreed to splitting up? This is exactly how every horror movie you’d ever seen started and sure enough, here you were. About to be killed by a child of the corn on the eve of your favourite holiday.

Another snap.

And then, just as you were prepared to run for your life, a husky raccoon came bounding out of the thick hedge with a mouthful of hard corn. Your scream caught in your throat as you jumped back from the wild animal but, before you could think of bounding away, your back connected into someone’s chest.

With a high-pitched yelp, you turned only to be met with Billy’s wide brown eyes watching your every move. “Hey,” he cooed, reaching across to steady you. “You okay?”

That familiar cologne of his hit you like a tonne of bricks and for just a second, you allowed yourself to get lost in it. You knew that smell well. You couldn’t count how many times you’d woken up to that smell all over your pillows and sheets, wafting all over your bedroom like a slow mist that never quite subsided. Swallowing hard, you blinked out of your reverie and took an instinctual step back. “I’m fine,” you breathed out, “a racoon just scared me, is all.”

He glanced over your shoulder briefly before those brown pools soaked you in yet again. “You sure you’re okay?” He asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “You’ve barely said a word to me all week.”

You offered him a polite smile. “I’m fine, Billy. Just been a busy week. With swimming practice and—”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he muttered, voice strained. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Billy,” you sighed, pinching your brow, “I’m not doing this here. We can’t.”

His brows pulled together and a pained look crossed over his handsome features. “I meant what I said,” he rasped out. “You’re my girl, Y/N.”

“No, see that’s bullshit, Billy,” you bit back, “Sid is your girl. I’m just an easy lay. That’s all I’ve been for the last six months and I can’t do it anymore. I won’t.”

“You can’t believe that,” he stepped towards you and visibly flinched when you stepped back. “Sure, Sid’s a good girl but it’s compli—”

“Complicated,” you choked, “yeah, you’ve mentioned that a few hundred times in the last six months, Billy. And you’re right. It is complicated because me and you are making it complicated. For god’s sake, she’s one of my best friends, Billy. I’m fucking one of my best friends’ boyfriends. Do you get how fucked up that is?”

“Me and Sid are complicated,” he reiterated, ignoring your little tirade entirely. “But me and you, sweetheart, we work. We’ve always worked. You’re it for me. You’re my final girl.”

You shook your head and grabbed his wrist, yanking him closer to you to avoid having one of your friends creep up on the two of you and hear him rambling on. “Jesus, scream it a little louder, moron,” you growled, pulling him into the corner of the maze where the racoon had just jumped out of. “What is wrong with you? Do you want one of them to hear you?”

“I don’t care,” he admitted, “I miss you. I miss feeling you squirm against me when we watch a scary movie. I miss smelling you all over me the next morning. My fucking pillow smells like your shampoo and the fact that you haven’t so much as said a word to me this week is killing me, Y/N.”  

Looking over his shoulder to ensure none of your friends were coming, you nearly hissed as you pulled him further into the thick wall of corn stocks. The tall stacks towered over the two of you and shielded you away from any prying eyes.

“One week, Billy. It’s been one week and it’s hurting you? Try being in love with someone for three fucking years and watching them fall in love with someone else. And then, when he can’t get his whistle wet with his girlfriend, he ends up in your bed.” You ground your teeth together in an effort to control the burst of emotion pounding in your chest. “That is the shit that hurts, Billy. I wasn’t good enough to be your girlfriend, but I was easy enough for you to sleep with and I was so enamoured with you that I was willing to overlook the fact I’m hurting Sid each and every time we do it. I won’t do it anymore.”

The moon managed to seep in through a barren patch of the maze wall and struck Billy in such a way that you lost your breath. Those brown eyes you’d fallen in love with all those years back were glued to your face. He’d always had this air of intensity about him but, right now, looking at the long shadows cast against his face from the illumination of the moon, that intensity had all but dissipated. You’d never seen Billy look more beautiful in your life.

The silence that followed your words was thick and tense, but those damn eyes never left your face. Not even for a second. Slowly, Billy leaned in and, in the softest voice you’d ever heard him speak, he managed to break your heart all over again. “You love me?”

“Oh, shut-up,” you snarled, “like you didn’t know.”

“How the fuck would I have known that?” he whispered, taking a step closer to you. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you?” You snapped. “Billy, you have a girlfriend. I’m already fucking you, what am I going to do? Confess all of this in between sucking your dick and packing up before Sidney catches wind of us?”

“Don’t cheapen it,” he cautioned, “not when it comes to us.”

“There is no ‘us’, Billy!” You reminded him. “There is a you and there is a Sidney. Then there is me.”

“Fuck Sidney,” he snarled through gritted teeth. “And don’t act like it’s only been sex between us.”

You snorted. “Maybe the odd movie, sure.”

Anger flickered across his face as he took another step closer, backing you into a particularly sturdy corn stock. This was a side of Billy you rarely saw, this unhinged almost animalistic side that came out when his emotions got too overwhelming. You’d seen this look only once before. It was few weeks into your sneaky little affair when Billy had snuck in through your bedroom window with red, bloodshot eyes and bleeding knuckles. It was the night his mother had left, and he’d just had lost a one-sided fight with the brick wall of his house.

“You were there for me when nobody else was,” he leaned his forehead against yours and you watched the muscle in his cheek clench several times over as he chewed on his words. “When my mother left, you were the one that was there for me. Not Sidney, not my father – you.” You felt his hands trail up your jean-clad hips before guiding your hips towards the thick corn stock behind you. You should have pushed him away, stuck to your guns, and ran off to find the rest of your friends. But, you couldn’t. Not with Billy looking at you the way he was.

“Billy,” you tried, but there was no conviction behind it. “I meant what I said.”

“Which part?” He asked. “When you said you loved me or when you said you couldn’t do this anymore.”  

“Both,” you told him. “Sidney’s a good friend and—”

A growl escaped his throat as he shut his eyes, but he never stepped away. With his forehead still leaning against yours, it was as though he was afraid to break contact in fear of losing you all over again. “Can we not talk about Sid for one goddamn second?” He took a few even breaths before those brown eyes opened back up, capturing your gaze instantly. “I love you.”

“Don’t,” you warned him. This time it was your turn to shut your eyes as the pain of hearing those three little words sliced you from stem to stern. “That’s not fair, Billy.”

“What? You don’t believe me?” You felt his hands slither up the side of your waist and up the length of your body until they cradled your face. “Look at me.”

“No,” you griped, “to both of your questions. Don’t say shit you don’t mean, not when it comes to that. It’s cruel.”

His calloused thumb danced across the apple of your cheek. “Look at me,” he demanded, barely above a whisper. “Sweetheart, look at me.” Frowning, you opened your eyes but remained silent. Bumping your nose with his, Billy pushed your hair back and away from your face and shook his head. “I fucking love you.”

“You’re with Sidney,” you reminded him, sounding like a broken record. “If you loved me, we wouldn’t be hiding in the middle of a goddamn corn maze while our friends blindly stumble around looking for the exit.”

“Stu knows,” he admitted. “And when it’s a good time, so will everyone else.”

“Colour me shocked,” you rolled your eyes. “Stu knows everything.”

“You think I don’t want to parade you all over town?” Billy questioned. “I get so heated when I see Randy or any of those goons on the football team flirt with you. I want you every second of the day.”

You swallowed hard. “Then please, Billy, just be honest with me. Tell me why things are so fucking complicated with Sid? I get break-ups are hard but cheating on her isn’t the answer.”

Billy was truly torn as he took in the desperation in your eyes. Things with Sid were complicated but not in the way you thought they were. There were no feelings involved with Sid, at least not the romantic kind, but there was no chance in hell he was divulging his plans with Sidney. Not with you. He couldn’t stomach the idea of losing you knowing full-well you’d try and sway him on it. Or worse. What if you went to the police about it? What if you tried to stop him? No. He wasn’t getting you involved. You were the one person in his life who hadn’t let him down and he was hell-bent on doing the same for you.

The less you knew, the better.

“Just give me some time, alright?” He pleaded, grabbing your hands to ghost his lips across your knuckles. “She’s still dealing with the loss of her mother. I can’t spring a break-up on her, too. Not yet. But soon,” he kissed your hand, “I promise.”

“I don’t want to hurt her any more than we already have, Billy,” you told him, “we could end this here and now and then when you do break-up, we can continue whatever the hell this is. But we shouldn’t d—”

Before you could say another word, he leaned forward and captured your lips in a bruising kiss. Everything about this man was electric and despite everything –  the guilt, the secrets, all of it – the way his lips seemed to mould against yours so perfectly, stopped you dead in your tracks. Placing sloppy kisses down from your mouth and along your jaw, Billy nipped at your ear. “I really do fucking love you.”

You leaned into the kiss and tangled your fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends. A low growl rumbled in his throat as he continued his assault down your jaw towards your neck where he nipped and sucked at the sensitive flesh. “You give me a fucking hickey and you’re dead,” you chastised breathlessly. When he responded with a gentle bite, you gave his hair another gentle tug. “I mean it, Loomis.”

Pulling back from your neck, you were met with one of Billy’s rare but genuine grins. He was all teeth as he leaned his forehead against yours again, scraping his thumbnail gently across your cheek as he fought to catch his breath. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

“Your girlfriend would beg to differ, but I appreciate the sentiment.” Groaning quietly at the mess you and Billy had created for yourselves, you reached up and pushed a strand of his brown hair back and away from his face. “We should go,” you told him. “Before anyone besides Stu finds us.”

Giving you one final peck, he nodded in agreement and pushed a few stocks aside for you to escape from. Before you stepped out of the covering, however, Billy reached for your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I promise, Y/N, everything is going to work out for us.”

Giving him a small, resigned smile, you leaned in and gave him a quick, chaste kiss. “I’ll leave my bedroom window open tonight,” you told him. “Do what you will with that information.”

Billy watched you disappear back into the maze with a shit-eating grin on his face. God, he was in deep with you. Too deep, perhaps, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not yet, at least. For now, he had you back and he had no intention of letting you go again.

part two HERE

[fbfh]

Leo Valdez relationship and intimacy headcanons

As with all steamy/nsfw works, the characters are aged up to 18+/college era

so

let’s get started ‘,:)

(1.2k, get ready)

When you’re making out he’s a top

But when things get heavier

Bottom as hell

Like he’ll instigate

He’ll dance with you and playfully grind a little

He’ll kiss you and bite your ear and whisper things in spanish that shouldn’t be translated

But as soon as you reciprocate

Oh

Bottom mode: fucking on

[plankton voice] I didn’t expect to get this far

Later on in the relationship he might get a little more confident and top you on occasion

Or more if you encourage it

But if he could have one image for the rest of his life 

It would absolutely be you hovering over him about to go to town

Dies in the best possible way if you push him onto the bed/couch/wherever

Gets very excited when you straddle him

Please please straddle him

His hips will automatically go up a little before you even do anything

Really loves when you straddle him 

Loves holding your waist and loves squeezing your butt and loves touching your hair

Genuinely loves all the parts of you

Ass? Yes. Tiddies/pecs? Yes. Legs? Yes.

Big fan of making out

B i g fan of grinding

You could absolutely finish him by grinding

I’m not saying it hasn’t happened before

Like if you grind against him at all even a little

Shabam

Putty in your hands

If you do that little swirly thing with your hips that he loves he’ll moan so loudly

Speaking of which

He is so vocal

S o vocal

Half to break the tension half cause he can’t help it

Makes the absolute nicest noises

Like he takes in a sharp breath and then moans it out

It’s n i c e

A little part of you wants to bite his neck and record the noise as his ring tone in your phone

L o v e s  when you grab him by the collar

If he’s wearing a tie grab him by the tie

Lowkey started wearing a tie more often jus so you’d do this

Generally loves being in a very close proximity to you

He’s the type to be at least a little horny all the time 

His love manifests as horniness a lot

I’m talking any time any place

Especially if it’s inconvenient

Grocery store, clothes shopping, bumping into an old friend

Wake you up in the middle of the night to see if you’re feeling frisky kinda shit

And how could you not be with this boy

The morning after he’ll wake you up with neck kisses

And in his gravely ass morning voice 

“So… you up for round… what round are we up to?”

Goes feral when you lift up his shirt/hoodie by running your hands up his abs

Member 2/2 of the growl/purr thing club

He’ll say something dirty in spanish and punctuate it with some kind of purr snarl and maybe a well placed bite

It’s extremely effective

Don’t let him know that though

Otherwise he’ll do it all the time and have too much power

Speaking of power

Call him papi and he bursts into flame

“Whatever you say, papi…”

!!!!!!

He’ll genuinely freeze in shock

Red as a firetruck

But you can only do it like once a year or he’ll actually die

It’s that powerful

Really likes lacy underwear

If u wear bras and you happen to wear like 

An unlined lace bra

Esp if it’s like burgundy or red

Obvs

Or if you genuinely want to end him then wear matching bra and panty sets

The top of his head unfolds like a cartoon and animated rockets and fireworks spray out  

Another fun thing you can do to ruin him:

Trace your fingers over the lines of his muscles 

Especially his v line

Makes him shiver every fucking time

If you surprise him by pushing him onto the couch, straddle him and grind until he’s bucking his hips and moaning

Dw it doesn’t take long

He will literally genuinely unironically propose marriage if you do that

The type of person to cancel plans if you take off your shirt

Have you seen those tiktok videos where people surprise their s/os by walking out naked

The first one in this compilation is all I have to say about that

H i c k i e s

This man and his hickies,, eye-

He fucking LOVES giving you hickies

Will not object in any way shape or form if you give him a few on his chest and neck

Will “accidentally” let them show without an ounce of shame

r/oopsdidntmeanto

Bite his collar bones really gently

Just trust me his reaction is worth it

Very very worth it

Squeeze his thighs from time to time

It’s a nice surprise for all parties

He is a total hoe for egirls 

You cannot convince me otherwise

Like if you put on any kind of egirl outfit/makeup he loses his shit

Do an ahegao face as a joke 

He actually stumbles backward and falls onto the nearest surface

And then bursts into flame

He just stares at you and you know you’re in for a long night/afternoon/morning

“H-how… how do I make you do that again??”

If you combine the face with the egirl look just uuuh

Time it at the beginning of a vacation or three day weekend

Cause neither of you will be doing anything for a while

Except each other

An “every surface in the house” kinda guy

Literally genuinely such a good lover

Like he’s so focused on you 

Gets serotonin just from you being around

Much less you trailing your hands under the waistband of his underwear

Oh do that too

Like you unbutton his pants and start to tug them down

But kinda play with the band and material of his underwear before you finish undressing him

Drives him fucking wild

m u t u a l  g r o p i n g

Very into foreplay/fun teasing

But won’t die without it

It’s like,, you get a cake and it’s amazing

And the more frosting decorations and sprinkles you add it gets even better

You’re just so excited you have dessert 

Idek if that makes sense but you probs get what i mean

He has a unique brand of aftercare

Ig it’s like,,, more focused on bonding than one person taking care of the other

Good luck not cuddling with this man

Let him sleep with his face in your chest

We all know he’s a stomach sleeper

Esp if you have boobs

If he could purr he absolutely would

If you try to wham bam thank you maam without cuddling after like 

He’ll survive

But when he finally gets you to cuddle he will absolutely make up for that lost time

His favorite thing ever is when he gets to see you just like,,, being organically yourself

Like watching you take off your makeup

Absolutely the type to watch you get dressed the morning after

Like you don’t even really realize he’s awake 

But you get that feeling like eyes are on you yk

You turn around and see him looking at you all sleepy and lovey

“...What?”

“Nothing…”

So you keep getting dressed

But the look doesn’t fade 

And you know it’s not nothing

The way he’s looking at you now, you know you’re the something

He makes it feel really nice to be the something 

Cause like you view yourself as his something

But he deadass sees you as his everything

And he will do everything he can to make you feel euphoric in as many aspects of your life as possible

[mego42]

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie​’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them. 

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study 

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers​

another grief study! 

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch 

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!! 

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!! 

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire​

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee​

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless​

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues​

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E  A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks​

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux 

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur​

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety 

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87​

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy 

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87​

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio? 

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is? 

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d 

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian​

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania​​

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy 

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

every time i read an article where the writers call young adults “kidults” because they have to ask their parents for help with getting a home loan or a car loan or because they’re still living at home well into their 20s or into their early 30s or whatever; i roll my eyes and automatically devalue their opinion in the article as holding any weight.

like mate, maybe if the property market wasn’t so fucked here in australia that an extremely average and normal house can go for close to $1millon or over $1million in some areas (mostly in sydney and melbourne but it’s also happening down where i am depending on the area; and i don’t even live in sydney)….. which means many people need to ask their parents for financial help to get the at least $90,000 prep money to go for the loan….. maybe y’all should fucking do something to fix it so that so many people don’t default on their loans in 5 years.

like yeah sure you can blame young people for not knowing how to manage long term saving and their finances and stuff like that… but maybe y’all should take the effort to try and lower housing prices so people don’t need such a huge fucking starting loan price of close to $100,000. and okay yeah obvs idk much about finance myself but still. maybe you should realise it’s wrong that people basically need $100,000 just to buy a house now…. or something.

also. i listened to some radio show the other week while i stayed over my sisters house on my own; about how so many young adults just staying at home in general or for “financial reasons”. they had this dude on it who went on this spiel about how when young adults stay at home well into their 20s or longer; they miss big milestones like having proper relationships or getting married because they “never grow out of” wanting to stay at home because they just “don’t want to fly the nest” and then they went on the rant that “to think that in our day we flew the nest at 15!!!! these silly 20somethings never wanting to leave home!!!” they had points that if people stay at home til their late 20s they’ll probably struggle to hold down jobs because they “never mature” while living at home and other stuff like that.

again….. if property prices didn’t fucking skyrocket to a baseline of close to $1million and jobs that actually want to pay you a decent/proper and real tangible wage and don’t exploit you are fucking impossible to find for young people…. maybe then most of us would move out of home sooner??? if landlords didn’t take advantage of their tenants and stuff as well maybe then more young people would move out??? and also just the cost of even moving out to a share-house/flat or a flat on your own is expensive as hell too. like bonds are ridiculous as well. like maybe factor that in terry??? and just getting a job in general is fucking impossible when they want/expect a ridiculous amount of experience for someone just starting out in their 20s who just wants to work in retail/hospo or even in an office job. then during the pandemic many young people were literally forced to move back home anyway because they couldn’t afford their rent or to live generally with no fucking job because they’d lost their jobs after covid shut everything down. and many people are still finding it hard to get a job with job hunting. like for real. leave us the fuck alone.

like don’t get me wrong. i get those points on some levels, because some parents may continue to treat their adult kids as actual children even though they’re grown…. so they might excuse them from their household chores like doing the dishes etc still. but when parents treat their adult kids like actual adults and expect them to pitch in with paying board and stuff and let them have partners over and stuff…. then what’s the fucking big deal??? let people live their lives and stop guilting them for not “spreading their wings” when the economy and shit today makes it so fucking hard to do that.

like one of the interviewed people on that radio cast actually ran workshops in high schools for year 10-12 boys to learn sewing and how to use a washing machine and other domestic skills that guys usually get to avoid until they move out. but then another person on that show (a woman) was like “uh what’s the point of teaching people to sew/cook/wash their clothes nowadays when they should all be learning to code??? surely that’s a better life and job ready skill today??” etc etc. so miriam, you’re telling me that 25yo matt doesn’t need to know how to wash his own fucking clothes or even cook for himself because it has nothing to do with javascript???? you’re fucking kidding me right??? and if he moved in with his girlfriend deanna (for an example) that he’d be excused from his basic life skills and admin duties for his precious javascript skills??? fuck that. the guy’s a fucking fool if he won’t cook for himself/do his own washing/other household duties just because it has nothing to do with coding. get your head out of your ass, miriam; because coding isn’t the be all & end all of everything today.

but anyway yeah. i just fucking hate when journalists or whomever call people who still live at home in their 20s to 30s…. or even just any young adults in general “kidults” when the economy and society has made it fucking impossible for young adults to do literally any-fucking-thing if their parents aren’t relatively well off/rich, in terms of buying a house…. or just in general with trying to fucking live and get a long lasting stable well paying job; when so many fucking places just want to underpay you or just outright don’t want to pay anyone at all when you think in terms of “work experience” and “internships” or the worst fucking thing of all “exposure” if you think in terms of anything to do with social media/marketing/advertising or any other creative career path.

the above is why we can’t fucking leave home most of the time. because how the actual FUCK am i meant to even PAY RENT AND LIVE/EAT AND TRAVEL TO WORK when jack and lilly from some bs startup social media marketing firm in sydney want to only pay me in ⭐️⭐️E X P O S U R E AND G O O D V I B E S 😊😊😊 🎊✌🏻🙌🏻⭐️⭐️™️ and not with Actual Real Money™️; for my wasted fucking time travelling there and my overly exerted REAL EFFORT i’d have to put in to beg for the said exposure and good vibes to just work there and whatever other bullshit they write in their job description. like fuck off with your good vibes and exposure and fucking pay me lmao.

anyway that’s why i hate the term “kidults”

[sinkix]

♡ Haikyuu!!│Boys as your Roommate HC’s Pt.2│Ft. Kuroo, Bokuto, Kenma & Kageyama ♡

Since the last one did well I decided to do another 2am shit-post consisting of my bby HQ bois as your roommate so I’m v sorry if it’s messy and seems like rambling but honestly what did u expect. <(￣︶￣)> The more I write these the more I just want to summon satan and make them come to life man I love them sm.

You can find Pt. 1 here

E N J O Y ~ <3

◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒

Kuroo:

So. Damn. Annoying

But in like, the best way possible??

Constantly teases and irritates you while cooking or when it’s your turn to do the chores.

“(Y/N)-kuuun I think you missed a spot”

Proceeds to show swabbed finger with the tiniest speck of dust on it with the biggest shit eating grin he can muster

You have constant competitions who can clean more thoroughly and rip into each other as a result.

I mean there’s worse things to compete over I suppose??

He likes to make it a habit of waking you up by throwing his HUGE ASS BODY ON TO THE BED IF YOU OVERSLEEP.

WHOLE BED JUST CREAKS AND DIPS UNDER HIS WEIGHT.

Wraps his arm around you and gives amazing cuddles tho so its worth it

Borderline suffocating you though just so you get up.

Also, don’t wake Kuroo when he’s had only a few hours rest

just, don’t. If you value your safety.

Last time you tried to haul him out of bed in this state he threw a pillow at you and BITCH WENT TO GRAB THE ALARM CLOCK NEXT but u dashed out the room before he could lob it. 

Speaking of which, pillow fights. 

so many.

 Y’all are always throwing random stuff at each other just to startle one another

You both make a conscious effort NOT to aim for the head though so I guess its ok???

The aroma of coffee always greets you in the morning and it’s become hella comforting since you’ve just come to associate that smell with him.

His bed head is 1000x more extreme in the morning which you tease him relentlessly for and def has bags under his eyes but it looks cute.

sleep deprivation but make it chic.

He is much more of a night owl i’m making it canon idc - however usually has to sleep early due to club activities starting first thing in the morning.

He wakes up especially early because he knows he not only has to haul himself up at an ungodly hour but Kenma as well since he NEVER gets up on time otherwise.

Kenma lives a few blocks down from you guys and you often kick it as a three.

Sometimes he stays over just to save the extra effort of Kuroo going to his place.

It’s always v chill with the three of you as you get on really well and just play mario kart till 2am.

which again, big mistake. They end up nearly being late to practise so it’s kinda counter productive lmao

worth it though.

Kuroo is a salty loser js and will definitely wave his arms in front of you or shove his ass in your face to block the screen so he can overtake you.

Sometimes forces you to go on early morning runs with him but it’s actually really nice since you watch the sunrise together while sitting for a water break in an empty field

Almost poetic if it wasn’t for the constant teasing and bickering like an old married couple.

Kenma is VERY thankful you have become his new victim for those morning run routines.

Bokuto:

SCREAMS FROM THE ROOFTOPS EVERY DAY

MY GOD

Actually pretty quiet in the morning?? Like the lil owl is just waking up so he usually just mumbles a good-morning and rubs his eyes its so damn cute

Usually pretty good about getting up on time but some days he needs a kick up the backside to get him out of bed.

He fully made you drag him out of the covers once before he was even willing to entertain the idea of getting up.

those 30 seconds felt like a 30 minute workout since he is so HEAVY.

I feel sorry for the neighbours on that day tbh

“Bokuto-san wake up.” 

“NNNgg-aaagGGHHHHH AGGAAASHIII”

“It’s (Y/N) you dumbass G E T U P”

You aren’t safe for long though because ONCE HE’S AWAKE HOMEBOY IS RARING TO GO.

Frequently makes y’all pancakes for breakfast with a frilly pink ‘best chef’ apron on and it’s fucking hysterical. 

actually has several aprons and one of them has a stock image of abs printed onto the front.

Pancakes is the only thing Bokuto is competent at so don’t expect anything else without the kitchen combusting

His pancakes are SO damn good tho like bitch who taught you to flip like dat.

Does a lil shimmy with his body and throws it back each time he flips so it basically aggregates as a performance too since hes so extra

One time the pancake landed on the floor and he was in emo mode for a whole day LMAOOO

boy was spiking while mourning the fallen soldier.

Akaashi was so confused as to why he walked into practise in such a solemn mood.

had to stifle his laughter once you told him the reason.

For some reason you have this tradition to play board games on a Friday night

Obvs you have to let him win and be a cocky ass bc otherwise he will be sad until the next morning.

sis will be in a slump while brushing his teeth over losing a game of monopoly.

Doesn’t expect you to come to practise with him but is always grinning like a dork the whole way there when you accompany him.

His game is always A1 on those days so Akaashi is eternally grateful.

Often tries to make you go to the gym with him SINCE Y’ALL BEST BELIEVE BOKUTO BABY AIN’T SKIPPIN LEG DAY.

Actually a really good workout partner though, he’s so hype and encouraging.

Grocery shopping is a nightmare, y’all come back with 3x as much as what was on the list while Bokuto just looks really sheepish and guilty like a dog who shredded up the sofa.

Kageyama:

Your conversations are very minimal at first until he adjusts to living with you.

Hella private with his living space and his bedroom

You always suspected he’s got some like weird alien cult meeting from Fiji going on in there with how shady he acts sometimes.

After a while though he’s pretty chill and doesn’t mind TOO much when you invade his personal space or go through his stuff.

I’d still be careful though an angry Kags is not a pleasant one.

He’s a minimalist, so if you ever get decorating done it’s usually you that takes the reigns since as long as it’s got a roof, a stove, a bathroom and a bed he could literally not give a fuck.

Unexpectedly easy to please over the smallest things, make a meal for him after a long day of practise and it’ll be hard for him to contain an appreciative smile.

Do NOT pull him up on it though bc he will get defensive 

just embrace it bro you won’t see it often.

V good at getting up on time and hella quiet in the morning when going about his routine, it’s easy to forget he’s in the house a times so at least he’s considerate.

Honestly doesn’t care whether you come to practise or not it makes no difference to him. Though the closer you both get he will sometimes wait for the moment you walk through the door and mentally slap himself for doing so.

Sometimes plays music in his room but it’s always really quiet and hard to decipher unless you press your ear up against the door.

The boi plays some BOPS though which is really surprising???

Usually takes charge of stuff like grocery shopping, cleaning etc. 

Control freak™️ here to assist your household services. 

He’s pretty dense though with these matters and needs some guidance at times lmao

Will not get the item on your list unless you CLEARLY SPECIFY AND INCLUDE THE WHOLE DAMN TITLE OF THE ITEM

You’re surprised he doesn’t request you illustrate the fucking bar code.

In the end you sometimes end up caving and just either going with him or going in his place.

Once he warms up to you y’all like cracking little jokes at each other and pulling one another’s leg.

if you get up even the slightest bit late he’ll just throw a lil “good afternoon” with a smirk on his face.

Sometimes he will come and chill with you on the couch to binge watch shows and it’s just a really relaxed atmosphere.

has really good taste in movies and series??

Honestly just a hella respectful roommate as long as you respect him and his privacy in return.

You once stuck his knee-pads in the washing machine on a high temp and they came out ready to fit a 6 year old.

You still suspect he holds a grudge to this day.

He also tried to give them to Hinata and never have you seen him more genuinely offended lmao.

Kenma:

The pair of you always end up oversleeping and it’s a genuine problem ur the definition of a disaster duo.

If it wasn’t for Kuroo strolling into your sleeping quarters most mornings you guys would sleep till the suns ready to set again.

Bless up Kuroo.

Constant video game marathons and y’all always compete to top each others time

It’s basically just the speed-run side of YouTube but under one roof.

Cannot and will not cook he is too LAZY for that.

Only thing he will do is stick an apple pie in the oven.

He’s courteous though he leaves you like,,, a 1/8th slice

smh.

You mostly get take-out or you’re the one that ends up cooking.

Veeryyyyy quiet, only noise in the household is the occasional snicker or lil conversation.

he has such a soothing voice hnnnnnnnnnggggg

The only time it’s remotely loud is when you play video games but even then the volume is quite low.

You usually end up crashing in his room from playing games till the crack of dawn and Kuroo frequently scolds the two of you.

you don’t listen though lmao.

For some reason you both end up in a hugging position when you wake up and neither of you have addressed it.

Except for the sus side eye look Kuroo gives the pair of you when he finds you like this.

He knows if he mentions it you’ll both infiltrate his apartment and choke him out with a console cable lololol.

You order most of your groceries online bc Kenma’s social anxiety will skyrocket and not allow him to be in a store full of more than 10 people, poor bby.

It works out for you too since why tf go there when you can have it delivered to your door.

You often binge watch anime together and he has GREAT taste mind you.

You made him watch a romance anime once and he secretly enjoyed it.

Since then he will very awkwardly request to watch them occasionally and you can’t help but smile.

The only time you clean is when you have to, like bins brimming with trash before you decide to take them out.

You accidentally broke his fav controller once and he didn’t talk to you for a week LMAO.

Still handed you one to play split-screen though so you knew he wasn’t entirely resentful.

[3inghao]

HI CRUSH ANON HERE AND I WANT TO START OFF BY SAYING TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT FEEL EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN MY LOVE LIFE I LOVE YALL HAHHAHHA I DIDNT EXPECT FOR ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN :'))))) at the same time tho i feel like things might have to be put on hold for a while i dont know !!!! ok sorry sorry ill explain so ,, ive figured out that im like really really into this boy. in a way thats probably not the best for me right now, esp bc ive got a lot of things to juggle right now (1/17)

but also bc ive been thinking and like ,, ok so this story might put things more into perspective. so its like monday and i get a text from him thats just like ‘hey what are the rest of your classes for today/do you have like 15 min or something to be in a shoot of mine before it gets dark’ and im like PANICKIN bc ofc hes asked some of us to be models for his photography hw before and its always super casual BUT this is the first time that IVE ever been asked specifically (2/17)

and so obviously i jump at this offer and im like ‘umm i dont have any more classes today so sure just lmk when and what to do :) also whats the shoot about?’ and hes like ‘ok cool we can meet at your room at like 5:15 and ill tell you about the shoot when we meet up :)’ and he wanted us to go to this reaaaaally pretty park at sunset and do the shoot around that time and i was like ‘ok do u want me to wear anything specific’ and he was like ‘nothing in particular :)’ (3/17)

and so i start getting ready and im nervous af bc it meant spending more time alone with him and i felt so unprepared for that LMAO but yeah so he comes up to our room and i open the door and my heart skips a fucking BEAT and i almost slam the door in his face but i force myself not to aha and so we go and hes like ‘ugh im so tired i want coffee lets get coffee’ and so we went into the starbucks around the corner but then i was like yo will we make it to the park in time (4/17)

and hes like ‘o shit yeah’ so we leave without getting coffee rip but yeah we go to the city park and oh my gskldgskd it is so fucking pretty its right before sunset so everything is golden and the sky is rainbow but you can already see the moon and holy one of the prettiest views i think i have EVER seen !!!!! and then he explains to me what the project is finally and hes like so its an experimental photo set thats supposed to represent all the things we left behind in modern society (5/17)  

and so for me he said he wanted me to pose in the city park at sunset sitting on a bench with my hands cupped like i was holding a heart (hes going to photoshop the heart in later when hes editing the pics) and then like leave it behind on the bench and look at the sunset behind me which is supposed to represent and i quote “leaving love behind in the pursuit of beauty” and i literally was like 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 the whole time LMAOOOOOOO (6/17)

but yeah so we did that in like 15 min but after we were done i legit didnt want to leave bc (i wanted to spend more time with him but also) IT WAS SO FUCKING PRETTY SKDHJDFH and ahhhh i like looked over at him and he looked sooo at peace just like looking out over the water and the sunset and the scenery was so beautiful i almost blurted out hi i think ur beautiful but i stopped myself in the nick of time thank god LOOOOOL (7/17)  

but he like made eye contact with me and i like held myself together but there was a moment where i felt like djdhskjdkd idk how to describe it i was kfskshdhdjdh idk it could be just my imagination but I FELT LIKE THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE AHHHHHHHH and i was so tempted to ask him about the hand holding on saturday but i didnt i held myself back again thank god lol and then all of a sudden he goes ‘hey do u want pics’ and im like wot (8/17)

and hes like ‘do u want some pics of urself? like we r already here so !! plus i want some photos to put on my photography insta’ and i was like sljkddjkd ok why the hell not so he directs me into different poses and stuff like that and after the sun sets we finish and then we r walking back bored af so we start wandering around the little shops nearby and then we finally get home and then our friend texts the group chat like ‘hey anyone want dinner now’ (9/17)

and we were already really close to a dining hall so the two of us went and got dinner and our friend just joined us later and then during dinner when it was just the two of us we started talking about me losing the bet of when our friends were gonna hook up and so i have to treat him to japanese bbq and we were talking about when and hes like ‘well theres nothing im gonna celebrate for a while except my best friend from home is coming bc her sisters getting married here” (10/17)

and i was like ‘omg thats great ??? congrats to her !!!! omg’ but idk this is where it gets kind of confusing bc idk we were talking about maybe going this weekend but his best friend was coming and he was planning on spending all his time with her but i think he said that we could go get japanese bbq with her too ?? and i think i said ok but i dont think we locked down any like specific date and time at all ??? this part is a lil confusing to me (11/17)

so anyways that happened and i havent really interacted with him after that whole thing like we still have a streak on snapchat lol but he will do this thing where he wont open or respond to my snapchats for like literal hours ,,, even though i know hes ON snapchat bc he will like watch my stories ??? like w o t ???? i dont think hes doing it on purpose if that makes sense ?? but its still annoying and borderline infuriating and sldkghsldkgh (12/17)

and also like ok ,, his best friend came like yesterday and i saw her on his snapchat story and h o l y g o d she is the most beautiful girl on all of fucking planet earth i shit u not like i actually !!!! screamed when i saw her shes so fucking gorgeous and on his story theres a bunch of snaps of the wedding etc and a pic of him and her in a photobooth and sldkgsldkghs holy ???? i dont know how to put this into words but they are p e r f e c t for each other (13/17)

like in every way possible they are literally best friends and shes an actual goddess and together they look sooooo aesthetically pleasing it is legitimately intimidating and ahhh sldkgldgkh so the thing is !!!!! i already have practically no self esteem left ,, and a dinner with like HER and THEM will probably d e s t r o y m e from the inside out i will literally just feel inferior in every single way possible and i have NO IDEA HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS UGH !!!!!! (14/17)  

but yeah that kinda just made me realize that i might need to take a couple steps back ??? from this entire thing and him in general ,, and also that before anything happens i really want to work on me first like obv x has got his shit together and theres that whole thing with his best friend and idk !!! i like have pledged to go to the gym way more and get my fucked up sleep schedule back to some resemblance of normal and f o c u s on my academics and skincare and eating more healthy !! (15/17)

like i wanna be a person that everyone can look at and be like yes !! u go girl shes got her shit together and yeah !!!! aha :’) and also i need to COOL IT with my feelings about x like as amazing as he is and as fun as it is to spend time with him and as much as i want to pursue everything about this relationship i dont think im in a place mentally and emotionally where i can handle that so !!!!!! for now im gonna (try to) just distance myself a lil (16/17)

and yeah !! if he asks to go out for japanese bbq tonight/tomorrow i think im just gonna be like ‘ahh i wish i could but im super swamped with work rn sorry :(((‘ (which is 100000% true) and just leave it at that *deep sigh* anyways thats where i am at this point thanks for tuning in yall aha :’) i just need to not be hurt in this relationship and distancing myself for now is the only way i know how to prevent that ,, and i probably wont be that successful but !!! heres to trying :) (17/17)

awwwwwwwww crush anon BUT THE SUNSET DATE (yes im calling it a date) does his best friend go to the same college as you guys?? bc if he’s single and she doesn’t live anywhere near him there probably really isn’t anything between them that you need to worry about. I def support the focusing on yourself bc the more confidence you have in yourself the less insecure you will be once you actually get into a relationship so go you!! my gf and i are actually starting to facetime each other and work out together too so all of us can struggle in that tryin to be healthier lyfe! i think in one of the other asks you mention more happened? but i also think that maybe a bbq date with him wouldn’t be bad? and i think you should try to have it with just him and no one else! idk fill me in on any new developments :0

[bwicblog]

RS: | I Emerge From the Kitchen | Victorious | ! | RS: | I had to Resort to a Recipe | I am Afraid |

RS: | But | I still Experimented | and I am Pleased with What I Created | So | RS: | That is What Counts | ? | Haha |

RS: | Anyway | I should Clean | RS: | But | ! | I am Leaving This Here | RS: http://68.media.tumblr.com/92ed838ec2f15c55b589a2a0aca03215/tumblr_mwmmoelMPM1solp3co1_1280.jpg

RS: | Forgive the Hay | That is the Only Spot in This Entire Hive | that has Adequate Lighting |

SA: i was going to send hadean the hotel address.

SA: but instead this is here

SA: something in me has died.

RS: | Hahahaha |

RS: | What | Are You not a Fan of Seafood | ? | =:) |

SA: pheres you put shrimp in gelatin.

SA: why in god's name did you put shrimp in gelatin.

RS: | I was Curious to See How It would Taste | ! |

RS: | Also | It is Not Just Shrimp | Obviously |

RS: | I Emulsified a Fish | for Flavour |

SA:

SA: 😖

RS: | =:) |

ID: have you... tried... it...?

RS: | You Know | If You are Coming Up to Retrieve the Gremlin | I can Make You a Plate for the Road |

RS: | Oh | No | Of Course Not |

SA: no please no

RS: | I'm not Eating It |

SA: i will have my bourbon salmon at my five star restaurant, thank you.

RS: | =:( |

RS: | Perhaps I have Poured Bourbon into This | Prisma |

RS: | You do not Know With Any Certainty |

RS: | Unless You Try It | ! |

SA: i said bourbon salmon not that I am an alcoholic.

RS: | Well | If This has a Fish | RS: | And It Has Bourbon |

ID: ...who did you. make this for...?

RS: | Is There Really a Difference Between the Bourbon Salmon |

RS: | And My Bourbon | Uh |

RS: | | |

SA: pheres... that's. not how cooking works.

RS: | Gelatin | Shrimp | Fish | Creation | ? |

RS: | Yes | Well | People Keep Telling Me That | But I have Yet to be Convinced |

RS: | =:P |

SA: i sent the reservation information, hadean.

SA: I have to go lie down before pheres stresses me out any further.

RS: | Oh | I'm only Teasing | RS: | I wouldn't Feed It to You | It was Made for Emerel's Viewing Pleasure | Don't Worry | =:) |

ID: hahah. i think you already spooked him off...

RS: | Oh | ! |

RS: | | I didn't Genuinely Upset Him | Did I | ? |

RS: | He is rather Difficult to Read | But I was only Teasing |

ID: i think your. creation just. upset his... refined palate.

ID: and he's had, uh. a long night to boot...

ID: so i wouldn't worry about it.

RS: | Oh | ! |

RS: | Ah | That's Unfortunate | RS: | Do Tell Him I was Joking | ? | If You Would | ? | I Hope He Feels Better Later |

ID: i'll pass the message along, he'll probably just request that you never cook him anything ever. dnw.

RS: | Hahaha | RS: | I can Cook | ! | I just | Choose to Experiment | It is More Fun that Way |

RS: | Are You Aware that You can Cook a Roast in the Microwave | ? | RS: | Or | Ah | The Revolving Radiation Machine | =:B |

ID: ahahah you might want to. post a picture next time you make something that looks nicer... so he can see.

ID: no. but i don't have much interaction with revolving radiation machines!

RS: | Ah | But What does He Consider Nice | ? |

RS: | That is the Question | ! |

RS: | Because He was Parading His Five Star Restaurant like A Badge of Merit | RS: | And I Have Eaten at Enough of Those | that I am Aware of the Sort of Things They Sell | RS: | I do not Make a Habit of Cooking Songbirds | Tragically | Sipara would Object | =:B |

ID: hahah he seems to like seafood i guess. i know he likes sushi.

ID: and sweet stuff. like desserts.

ID: and citrus.

RS: | Oh | Everyone loves Citrus | That hardly Counts |

RS: | But | I suppose I will Have to Strive to Impress Him with Something Nicer | Next Time | RS: | Some Sweet | Citrus | Desert | =:P |

RS: | Do You Cook | ? |

ID: i catch things and usually fry them on a fire. but i don't know if that... counts...

RS: | I don't See Why It Wouldn't |

ID: i dunno. i always think of cooking as... using an appliance. and spices.

RS: | Nonsense | RS: | I Mean | Yes | Spices are Lovely | But It is Still Cooking | RS: | They are Hardly Necessary to the Creation of a Meal |

RS: | Salads Don't Require Either of Those Things | And They still Constitute Cooking | RS: | | I Think | Haha |

ID: fair point. i. also think.

ID: =:P

RS: | =:B |

RS: | Are You Feeling Alright | ? |

RS: | Oh | That was Abrupt |

RS: | | Mm | The Question Remains |

ID: i mean. a little. but i don't have room to judge do i? =:P

ID: i'm. fine!

RS: | =:? |

RS: | Are You Certain | ? |

ID: i mean. mostly fine. wounded ego and all that stuff.

RS: | Yes | I Noticed That | RS: | You're being Meeker than Usual |

RS: | It doesn't especially Suit You | RS: | | =:/ | Is There Anything I Can Do to Help | ? |

ID: haah, no. it's fine! me and sips are gonna fix it. things'll be fine in. a few nights probably!

ID: and pris. pris is helping too.

RS: | Are They | ? | That's Good |

RS: | A Touch Alarming | Given Her Preference of Solutions | But | Well | RS: | I suppose That is the Three of You's Business | Haha |

ID: ...hahah, yeah. though in her defense she did not come up with the solution, merely... encouraged it?

ID: what are you up to now that your. masterpiece is complete...?

RS: | Oh | Should I Ask What Your Solution Is | ? | Haha |

ID: ....uh.

RS: | Mm | Don't Fret | I won't Ask Further |

RS: | If You Don't Want Me To |

RS has attached BONES.JPEG! It's a picture of a kitchen table that's been meticulously cleaned off and is covered in large white bracelets large enough to slip over a horn. Several have designs carved into them, and one is in the process of being carved, going by the dremel drill nearby.

ID: ahahah, just a little fight. nothing impressive.

ID: huh. that's neat. seems like a lot of work!

RS: | Oh | Haha | You are Like Sipara | Aren't You | ? | RS: | Mm | Be Careful | ! |

ID: dw, dw. nothing like a new fight to make you forget about the old one, right?

RS: | Yes | Well | That |- IS -| Her Philosophy | RS: | Haha |

RS: | It Is a Lot of Work | But It is Relaxing | And | It's Worth It | RS: | Considering How Specialised Most Horn Accessories have to Be |

ID: it's a good philosophy! =:P

ID: yeah that makes sense. is this a hobby for you?

RS: | It Is | ! | I Make My Jewelry | Haha | RS: | It Isn't As If I Have Any Other Use for All Of These Bones |

ID: are these for you then? or do you make them for other people?

RS: | I Make Them for Myself | Sipara Prefers Gold Jewelry |

RS: | And Emerel Only Wears Black | Haha | RS: | Would You Like One | ? | =:) | I Expect They could Fit You Well Enough |

ID: i think my rack has a lot going on already. but thanks for the offer! they do look nice.

RS: | Mm | Yes | RS: | I suppose There might Be Objections to My Attempting to Dress You Again | Given the Faire | as Well | =:P |

ID: hey, i was mostly alright with the outfit! =:P the vents did keep me cooler.

RS: | Mostly Alright | RS: | =:P |

RS: | Well | As Long as They Kept You Cool | Their Purpose was Well-Served | Haha | RS: | Are You Getting Along Well with Sipara | Then | ? |

ID: hey, it was a drastic step away from my usual t-shirt and jeans okay. mostly alright is as good as it gets.

ID: oh. uh, yeah! we're having fun.

IA: Hell-o every-one!

RS: | Is This Travelling Arrangement Permanent | ? | I am Just Curious | RS: | And | Hello | IA | ! | How are You | This Fine Night | ? | =:) |

ID: uh. i don't know about that. we didn't talk about it or anything...

ID: hi ia.

IA: I'm quite well, thank y-ou f-or asking! And y-ourself, RS?

IA: Hi ID! Did y-ou fight y-our friend yet?

ID: i wouldn't say he's a friend. =:P and not yet.

IA: I see.

RS: | Oh | My Apologies | ! | I am Not Trying to be Invasive | RS: | Merely Curious | But | Ah | I think I am Asking Too Many Questions Tonight | RS: | And It is Unkind | Given Your Nerves | So | Sorry | =:( |

RS: | I am Lovely | IA | Thank You for Asking | ! | RS: | Attempting a Night Without Work |

RS: | It is Not Going Entirely Well | I am Unsure How People Manage It | ! |

RS: | Although | I have Captured Two Infantile Meowbeasts | RS: | One Squirrel | and a Large Snake that were All Roaming Near My Matesprit's Hive | RS: | So That was a Touch of Excitement |

ID: ehh. it's fine...?

IA: D-o y-ou w-ork f-or a shelter? --Or animal c-ontr-ol, RS?

RS: | Ah | Your Text says One Thing | Hadean | RS: | But Your Love of Periods | Your Use of Uhs | and Your General Hesitance | RS: | Implies Otherwise | =:P | Haha |

RS: | And | No | I Don't | RS: | His Hive is Simply out in a Rural Area | So There are a Number of Small Animals | RS: | that Enjoy Attempting to Breach the Interior | and I'd Rather Kabiir Not Eat Them |

IA: --Oh n-o! That s-ounds very unpleasant f-or the kittens and squirrels and snakes. G-o-od j-ob keeping them safe!

RS: | | RS: | Thank You | ! | =:B |

RS: | You should Both Tell Me About Your Hobbies |

RS: | If I have Not Scared Hadean Off Entirely | Haha |

IA: I d-on't have many -outside -of w-ork I'm afraid. I'm a little b-oring :(

IA: I'm t-o-o much -of a w-orkah-olic, th-ough I d-o enj-oy watching tv s-ometimes, d-oes that c-ount?

ID: sorry to report not scared off! am checking in to a hotel tho.

RS: | Oh | Nonsense | ! | I am Sure You are Perfectly Fascinating | RS: | We all Think Ourselves Boring | After All | But That is Merely Over-Exposure at Work | =:B | RS: | Television Certainly Counts |

RS: | And | Oh | ! | What Sort of Hotel | ? |

RS: | Or | Well | Never Mind | RS: | Are You Two Already at The City | ? | ? |

ID: yeah. uh. it's a...

ID: ...it's a. really fucking nice hotel.

IA: That's g-o-od!

AA: he is lying. AA: it is the best fucking hotel i have evern seen, holy shit. they have G O L D D O O R K N O B S.

RS: | ? | Oh My | AA: G O L D D O O RN K N O B S.

ID: ...where's the room service stuff.

ID: i can't. imagine what the room service is like.

AA: (oh my god, i bet the rnoom sernvice ppl arne, like, fucking tela.)

AA: (tela.)

AA: ( T E A L S. )

IA: Check the bathr-o-om, d-o they have bubble p-orts built int-o the garden tubs?

IA: Th-ose are always my fav-orite and y-ou kn-ow y-ou have a g-o-od h-otel if they have th-ose.

ID: why are there two traps. man this is fancy.

AA: bc prnisma is considernate and wants to have a bathtub parnty, duh.

AA: you two can soak like fish and hollern acrnoss the hall. >:}

AA: it is B O N D I N G.

AA: .. shit, he needs to grnow out his headfluff so i can brnaid it.

AA: and y! therne arne bubble pornts. i think. wtf is a garnden tub.

ID: so are you saying you aren't gonna soak like a fish. =:P

IA: Ah, a garden tub is a very big, r-o-omy tub. Excellent t-o share and usually deep en-ough t-o, s-o t-o speak, s-oak like a fish.

ID: ....oh there's an outside.

SA: do you see the building with the amber dome?

ID: pris! uhhhh. yes.

SA: i am on the third floor from the top of that building, right set of four windows.

SA: hello.

AA: y, y. me and prni will rnotate tubs like schools of fish. orn w/e. obvs. >:P

AA: omg omg. AA: prniiiiiiiiiii. can you see the waving? >:}

ID: we are now both waving. =:P

SA: sort of.

SA: not really.

SA: I could get a scope out and then I could see you, however.

ID: oh well. we can see each other tomorow. for food.

SA: i will pick somewhere less awe-striking than the hotel. I don't wish to spoil you both 😂

ID: too late. the moment our fronds touched the golden doorknobs we were forever ruined.

AA: ^^^

IA: They're sp-oiled n-ow, Pris. They -only deserve the best n-ow.

SA: I didn't think they were solid gold...

SA: i did better than I thought. 😊

AA: it's trnue. >:P and you should totes pull out the scope, prni, and get a gandern of my totes sweet outfit. AA: like, N O RN M A L L Y, i'm like, all against folks pointing guns, but it's wornth it. since yrn not overn herne.

AA: it has a headband!!

ID: i do like the headband.

ID: soon i too will have a sweet outfit. we can all look sweet together.

SA: Maybe I will then.

SA: Hang on.

SA: yes I see you now.

SA: look at you.

SA: adorable

SA: I'm happy you're here in the city finally

IA: This is such a sweet c-onversati-on.

IA: I'm s-o glad f-or all -of y-ou t-o meet!

SA: yes.

SA: ❤

AA: 💚

IA: Are y-ou guys dating? :)

ID: sorry it took us a while pris. =:P 💚

AA: uh. uhhhhhhhh.

ID: are you both cheating on me with each other? =:'(

ID: i'm crushed.

AA: n, soz, as much as i love, like, havin' _two_ dudes hanging off my arnm.. AA: they'rne not prnetty enough.

AA: hads has only got hairn down to his ass. like, n, ankle orn bust, gtfo.

SA: i'm plenty pretty.

IA: --Oh, I'm s-orry, I was aiming that for SA and ID. I ap-ol-ogize!

SA: oh.

ID: man i knew all those trims i did weren't worth it-

IA: Y-ou b-oth seem very cl-ose and y-ou send each -other a l-ot -of hearts.

ID: oh man sorry sips you aren't in this ship anymore. time to drown.

AA: y, prni, yrn the prnettiest yellow at the ball. it is trnue. but -- AA: whaaat? gdi.

AA: stfu, hads, i'm gonna drnown both of you in the tubs in a jealous rnage now.

IA: N-ot t-o menti-on y-ou guys seem t-o talk with a sense -of tenderness ab-out and t-o each -other.

AA: that's totes how they do it, rnight?

SA: drowning is not the way I wanted to die.

IA: I didn't want t-o assume s-o I th-ought it'd be safe to ask.

ID: at least choke me out with a belt sips jeesh.

AA: n. if i cull you the way you want to, it's not a jealous rnage, duh.

AA: then it's just fucked up pitch.

AA: and who wants _that_. >:P

SA: do you want to consider Hadean's past reactions to things or are you happy assuming he wouldnt

SA: and no.

ID: wow rude.

SA: it's what i am here for.

SA: how are you tonight, IA.

AA: lmfao.

ID: if there's no green heart coming i'm gonna punch you- i'm punching you. =:'(

SA: --

SA: 💚

SA: do not punch me with your one arm.

AA: iiiiiiiii'm gonna go get some food. bbl, loserns.

SA: oh, see you later sipara.

ID: pick me up something. =:P

AA: n. >:}

IA: G-o-odbye! :)

ID: =>:'(

SA: ... is Sipara okay

ID: i hope so. =>:( since you said this is the city of violence and crime and nasty shit....

SA: ah.

SA: that too

SA: I have picked out a creperie for tomorrow

SA: also

ID: oh cool. uh is it close? or are you gonna come here and bring us... there.

SA: I only have one motorcycle and it is unsafe to move more than one other person on it

SA: we can walk, or I can call a car

SA: it is up to you two

ID: i'm sure we can walk.

ID: though hey you and sip both have bikes. neat.

SA: oh does she have one too? I thought she just had the truck?

ID: the bike can only fit so many trolls.

SA,: well yes 😛

ID: i'll wait up for her to get back here. hopefully it just took her a while to find a place that was affordable to eat...

SA: okay. Let me know when she comes back 😦

SA: I'd offer to talk until then but I don't really have anything to say.

SA: I can't believe i am getting a gremlin baby

ID: i will.

ID: that counts as something to say. what are you gonna... name it?

SA: ...I don't know.

SA: I could just. remain calling it gremlin.

SA: i could call it cupcake.

ID: well. time to think up a name before you get it.

SA: i want it to be cute.... that's all i know.

SA: it's so hideous it's name has to balance out it's ugliness.

SA: like sweetiepie gumdrop

ID: pffff. sweetie for short?

SA: Yes. Or gummy.

SA: i suppose gummy better fits you now though how many times you've been through the grinder in the last few days.

SA: how is your lip.

SA: is it no longer gummy

ID: =:P thanks pris.

ID: my lip healed up first. that was just... surface damage.

SA: it looked horrid though 😦 but mouth injuries usually do.

SA: i'm glad it's better.

ID: that's the fun of mouths! they bleed on everything.

AA: mouth injurnies arne the wooooornst. AA: 2bad you don't scarn, hads, orn you could've had a wicked sweet one.

SA: noses too.

SA: and if you're extremely talented.

SA: eyes.

SA: oh--

SA: sipara, hello.

SA: i was worried.

ID: man don't remind me of what could have been sips. =:'( also yes. we were worried.

AA: ?????

AA: dnw, dudes, i did not get mugged by any mean grneenies. >:}

ID: =:P or snatched up for who knows what. good!

SA: or blue bloods. mafias here like blue hires.

AA: lmfao. i don't sparnk enough forn that. >:P totes no good forn kidnapping, soz. AA: i did, howevern, mug a grneenie forn baked goods. AA: i come bearning D O N U T S.

AA: ... why do you have mafias??

AA: >:?

SA: what sort of domuts?

SA: because Provenance is riddled with criminal courts and mobs. they run the city.

AA: oh, shit. dornuts* AA: ty, ty.

ID: awww, and here i thought you said no to bringing me food. 💚

ID: man make sure you guys chain me up at day or else i might get stolen.

SA: only if they know where you are. Also they will take you and the chain with them.

SA: fun!

SA: you had mercy on him, sipara.

SA: a saint.

AA: n, hads, dn get me wrnong. AA: i brnought donuts, i didn't say you got to fucking eat 'em. >:P they arne for prni. duuuh. AA: 💚

SA: 😂

SA: eat one for me, sipara.

ID: =>:'(

AA: and wtf, wherne arne yrn legislacernatorns??

ID: maybe the mean mafia trolls will bribe me in to their cart with donuts.

SA: i'll give you all the "low down" when we are in my loft.

SA: if you wish.

SA: let us just say the police here are seldom better than the courts.

SA: there is a reason vigilant business like mine is so successful.

AA: laaaaaame. AA: temasek's a hole, but at least, like, the imps keep it fucking clean. >:{

SA: the only good police are in West Haven -- where almost no lowbloods actually stay.

SA: so it is moot.

ID: ...that's where we are right.

SA: 🤷

SA: yes.

SA: Unless you go to Port Solais and stir up trouble you should be fine. I was mostly exaggerating.

SA: but we do have "wake up in tubs of ice" stories.

ID: i thought we stuck out. =:P i thought it was our stunning personalities.

AA: lmfao. y, ditto. AA: thought the looks werne forn ourn grn8 looks. >:}

SA: yes they're fond of that.

SA: they will do it in restaurants too, at certain times or a tcertain ones.

SA: it isn't that West Haven is exclusively high blooded, but rather low bloods are only in it to work usually.

ID: ahh, highbloods. they never change.

SA: they do not.

SA: i still am trying to recover from the one who was

SA: very worried about my face

SA: while simulanteously handing me a bounty countract.

SA: yes, I need your sympathy and pity while you also throw me to the dogs to catch you ex quad.

SA; tell me more about what a poor baby i am.

ID: you're just too cute pris. but also useful. it's a hard balance for a poor charmed troll!

AA: shit, you two arne just rnegularn old pitybait.

SA: maybe if i get cracked in the face again i'll look "rugged" enough to deter their cooing.

SA: aren't we?

ID: only sips' mangled body can protect us now.

ID: awesomely mangled, btw.

AA: .. shit, you can't do what i do, neithern, can you? AA: b/c you'd get squicked if you went and hit on anyone pitch.

AA: starnt wearning a moirnail rning and tell 'em yrn taken. >:}

ID: oh, yeah. the rings thing.

SA: i don't think it would help.

SA: these are usually the sort of people who look at you and say

SA: well no one has to know, right.

SA: don't you want to have fun.

SA: 😐

SA: and then they reach for my thigh and it gets very awkward when i break their nose into their skull

SA: am I joking.

SA: am i serious.

SA: we will never know.

AA: make it fuchsia. come up with a hot heirness gillhead who's 2jelly not to call you on the hourn. AA: orn -- whoa wait what.

AA: ... idc if yrn joking orn srns.

AA: we should totes cull someone anyway. >:P

SA: 👀

SA: i would rather have a real quadrant than make one up.

SA: also let's avoid a group murder activity.

SA; I would like to show you all how nice Provenance is. When. people aren't dying.

AA: aww. i thought that was how we'rne gonna bond. >:"{

ID: damn, gotta put away my knives now. =:(

SA: ...

SA: 😮

SA: i must rest.

SA: goodlight. ❤

AA: light, dude. 💚

ID: oh, okay. light. =:) 💚