#like no. no did you read canon? he made a fool of himself everytime he saw her
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the absolute atrocious characterisation James gets from some of you…wtf. my man used to be a bully and a pompous airhead, yes, but he was also GOOFY and loyal and brave to a fault?? be fair.
#this just in: characters can be three dimensional#just read a fic where he called lily a sl*t and was just…so fucking awful#like no. no did you read canon? he made a fool of himself everytime he saw her#my boy was so head over heels in love he was literally tying his shoelaces together if she so much as#looked at him#not to mention he gave up his life WITHOUT HESITATION#at the age of 21–barely a fucking adult#to save his wife and son. he stood up#to the darkest wizard who ever lived#UNARMED….the fucking bravery. the PURE love…..ughhh#he deserves better takes#james potter
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i meant to actually freak out more bout ur latest chapter but i think the handprint gepard had left on sampo got me so bad i went into a catatonic state or something. (which i am trying not to go Off bout like oh my god the handprint?? gepard's love for him and how much he cares for him and how he would push himself so far to protect him?? left a permanent mark on sampo??/ aueuugh) ANYWAYS sampo being so fuckign knowledgeable and explaining and also i love how u do the masked fools n what theyre about?? but also ALSO like the 'crimes' he did and how upset he was and how CERTAIN sampo was that gepard would despise him for it. like he truly had the idea of gepard as a noble absolute figure of honesty and lawfulness. and gepard saying he doesnt care??? because he cares about sampo MORE??? insane. it truly nailed one aspect of sampard i always puzzled on like of where gepard's limits/boundaries of his morals lie in if he is capable of bending his unwaivering ideals of justice in order to love and be with sampo.
also the whole handkerchiefs. loved that shit so much like the idea that sampo has a bunch of handkerchiefs on him randomly to pull off the occasional magic trick.
also also sorry for the wall of text lmao,,
Okay so this took me forever to answer cuz everytime I went into my inbox I cradled this post like "If I answer this I'm gonna lose it I don't want this ask to be gone I wanna look at it forever :'(" Until I realised I can just answer you publicly to keep it on my blog forever lmao I hope you don't mind? I have to put it under a cut tho because this got wayyyy too long
Anyway first of all please don't apologise for the wall of text I LOVE getting walls of text?!? This is like being a 3 year old who's just been unsupervised for a moment and managed to get into the sweets hands deep mouth smeared and 2 hour sugar rush incoming every time I read it ok. So no need to apologise. Also THANK YOU ACTUALLY CUZ THE HANDPRINT IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME TOO OK?? I had this idea for ages (and also because it was just the natural conclusion to Gepard's actions anyway) so I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes a tiny bit feral about the idea and symbolism ok thank you thank you thank you Next, I honestly spend hours agonising over the problem of Gepard being incredibly lawful and honest while Sampo is, in his very essence, at the very least a troublemaker and also a good amount of criminal (thief/conman/scammer yadda yadda) What makes this the most difficult is really that both these concepts are at the core of their character; almost everything Gepard is has something to do with his unwavering sense of justice and almost everything Sampo does has something to do with his 'shadiness', at the very least. So to subtract from one in favour for the other felt really really hard to do and I think if I wouldn't have had the basically 70k+ word build up I wouldn't have managed to find even just the resemblance of a believable middle ground for myself. In the end, I think that Gepard's sense of justice is ultimately a sense of loyalty to the people of Belobog (as seen by his character text about standing between Belobog & the Supreme Guardian if need be); which he believes will fend the best when they follow the rules and laws set down by their government. But since he is also (at least now) loyal to Sampo and his wellbeing, he can see that what Sampo did while maybe 'not right', isn't worth causing the mental anguish nor be punished that harshly if it makes Sampo this distraught. Not to mention, 'this' version of Gepard is slowly learning to be more selfish and so ultimately, he put his own desire to be close with Sampo above his sense of duty (basically for the first time) which, granted, is a step away from canon Gepard's attitude but I hope made believable enough through my painstaking work I put in :')
Also, yes, Sampo is enough of a clown to just have handkerchiefs with him at all times (same as the candy for the Moles, he's always prepared in that regard) (Also the handkerchiefs are surprisingly durable and do make a good improvisational rope if the need arises)
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"We're wide awake now, our eyes are wide open" Definition of hero
1a : a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability b : an illustrious warrior c : a person admired for achievements and noble qualities d : one who shows great courage source: Meriam Webster online dictionary
The dictionary definition of a hero paints quite a fantastic picture of an ideal good character, something my players and I have put aside for the PCs, who all have flaws, goals and needs. It makes me really proud everytime someone does something incredible and in-character when we play. But I digress, it's time to introduce the main characters of our journey. In order of appearence and color coded for your benefit: 🟡 Alyssa (the paladin) 🌞 🟠 Joshiro (the monk) ⚓ 🔵 Korinn (the warlock) 🌊 🎀 Nonemi (the artificer) 🔫 🟢 Ozthen (the rogue) 🍀 🟣 Vesper (the bard) 💄 ⚫ Cassius (the warlock) 📚 🔴 Phybble (the (villain) wizard) 🍵 (Not shown) Dakreg (the fighter) 💪 I'll go into detail about their backstories and my thoughts about them in individual posts. For now, I'd like to make a synopsis of the story and a little bit of the process of how I came up with it.
"Have you heard about the Warlock King?" "Shh! Don't call him that, least you'll anger him!" "Alright, how about Shadow King?" -Whispers amoung a Waterdeep tavern crowd It all started in our starting campaing, where our local tabaxi warlock Korinn chose Larloch, the Shadow King to be her patron. This is nothing new of course, he is a popular choice for he is know as an incredibly powerful archmage in the DnD lore, his existence stretching back for centuries, having been a powerful mage in the ancient Netheril empire. Always the naive woman, Korinn made a deal with the lich, and in exchange, she would bring him magical items and offer him interesting subjects for his research. But in her chaotic nature, Korinn chose to defy his orders at the end of Lost Mines of Phandelver, this being the starting point of our next plot, and the birth of our new BBEG (Big Bad Evil Guy). Now, for anyone who has read a bit about Larloch, you'll know he's not really "evil" by canon lore, he's a lawful (but still kinda evil, he kills anyone not of interest to him without a second thought, come on) crature, one who wants to be left alone to read and experiment by his lonesome like the nerd he is, he simps for the goddess of magic Mystra (he calls her The Lady, tips fedora) and makes the ocassional ground breaking new magical item / spell of the moment. That said, the wiki gave me a juicy hook to use him as a villain:
"But he was also insane, his mind affected by his extreme age. Sometimes he could be calm and even whimsical. Other times he was crazed, snarling and launching spells at random" -Forgotten Realms Wiki
"Well now, ain't that interesting" thought the me of the past. You're telling me this stupidly powerful being, who is presumed to have planned to every single variant that could occur, Dr Strange style, is a unstable old man? Sweet. So the magical equivalent of an atomic bomb's trigger was being held by this dude, let's just make the small sliver of sanity he has left realize he is loosing himself, that time is running out and he has to secure his legacy, to go out with a boom. But Larloch is not that selfish, he knows whatever plan he comes up with will affect Faerûn as a whole, so why not try to change the continet for good? Start a new era, an age of magic. Sweet lady Mystra, as much as she likes him, would not approve of him messing with her precious Weave of course, so his first step, deal with the meddling (but oh so beautiful) goddess of magic. He would not kill her, as he is no fool, gods can not be slayed (or can they...? Let's put a pin in that as well); so he'll just trap her, sealing her powers and keeping her safe in the safest place he knows, his phylactery. One deceitful invitation later, and with the help of his ol' "pals" Szass Tam, Zulkir of Necromancy and leader of the Thay nation; and the ancient black dragon (I know, he's cannonicaly green, but as I said, this is semi-homebrewed to fit the needs of my table) Vorgansharax, better know as the The Maimed Virulence, Mystra finds herself trapped and helpless at the hand of one of the few mortals she admired. Ain't life funny.
"Wait, so you're telling me a goddess, and not just any goddess, the misstress of fucking magic got trapped and no one noticed?!" Well, not quite dear reader, the other gods of the pantheon of course noticed, particulary god of justice Torm and his fiance (again, homebrewed) goddess of beauty Sune. The latter being the first to realized the absence of her dear friend, who went and told her man something smelled fishy (or dead, considering Larloch's an undead?). Both set out to investigate, and considering not many beings in the realm could be a danger to a god, the trail let to our lich friend quite fast. Torm, being a bit of a hot-head jumped at the chance to teach justice to this creature, while Tyr, the old god of justice begged him to reconsider, to think things through before taking actions. "A mortal capable of making Mystra dissapear is not to be taken lightly my friend" he said to deaf ears.
And so, with Sune helping him, Torm met with quite the surprise. Larloch had prepared for the interferance of other gods, so he ran a little experiment, he knew gods couldn't be killed, but why was that? The church would tell you it's because the gods live on all of us, as long as we believe in them, so even if they were to be struck down, the faith of the believers would bring them back. "The hypothesis is set, it is time to test it". And test it he did. With the raw power of two ancient liches and a black dragon, they were struck down in all of their inmortal arrogance. Larloch tracked the massive magical energies to two mortals in the Material Plane. "Interesting". The gods, after the mess that the Spellplague caused in the mortal's plane, had decided to not pick "champions" to control again it seemed, but still designed "vessels" of high faith and compatibility with their characteristics to recuperate their strenght at a faster rate if something were to happen to them. "So it is true, gods cannot die as long as their faith exist in mortals... Well now, what would happen if we removed this faith? Time for a new experiment. How intriguing". And so, the Shadow King set out to do the impossible, again. I'll tell more about the backstory and start tyring to tie in the PCs in the next posts. it is quite a lot of information, so putting everything together is a bit overwhelming, but so fun. Makes me realize how much work I've put into this. I'm proud of myself, take that depression! Stay tunned, and beware of the shadows 💀 Credit of the Faerûn map goes to Johnovick on Reddit.
#dnd art#dnd#dnd5e#dnd campaign#dnd stuff#dnd shenanigans#dungeons and dragons#dungeon master#the shadow kings legacy
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This/last week’s read: Po Yun, Breaking Through the Clouds 1 & 2
All 1.6 million words. Po Yun (Breaking Through the Clouds) and Po Yun 2 (Swallowing the sea), by Huai Shang (817k) On jjwxc. I started reading them because I missed SCI, but Po Yun is a much more serious book with serious plot twists and no hypnosis/split personalities/genetic modification magic. Oh, and more whump. I mean these characters are basically hurt all the time. Constantly. A bonus: all your main characters are in their 30’s.
There’s a summary on novelupdates, but I’m going to give you an alternative summary:
International drug-trafficker King of Spades and the Gongzhou Police Organised Crime/drug trafficking division chief Jiang Ting were once childhood friends and are now caught in a game of cops and robbers cat and mouse and their love story ends in inevitable BE …
Okay, it’s not that, go get the actual summary from NU that ends in a nobody (bad) dies HE ending between Jiang Ting and Yan Xie.
(Rambling that is as spoiler-free as possible after cut, but to summarise, I’d give Po Yun 1 a 7/10 and Po Yun 2 a 10/10 recommended with some caveats for plot holes and warning for graphic descriptions of violence and gore)
Po Yun1: If this book was actually about the first story, 10/10, a very well-told tragedy that ends in a near perfect circle. As is, I’m not sure how to feel because it just felt so much like it should end in 雙愛雙殺 / “mutual love, mutual killing”, that even though it has told me it’s HE since the beginning it doesn’t feel right. Despite Jiang Ting’s insistence that he never loved SpadesK, he did … in the before times, and considering how much he hated him afterwards, he loved him a lot. I think most what made this book less enjoyable for me though is Yan Xie, who is basically your definition of male chauvinist (his nickname in the book is literally “straight man cancer”), and he touched the one squick I have … terrible personal hygiene.
Point form entirely unorganised thoughts (吐槽) :V below, mostly of my very twisted opinion, you’ve been warned
Every time I heard about Yan Xie’s “male hormones” smell I gagged a little because I’m pretty sure he stinks
No, wait, I don’t have to be pretty sure. The first time he lent his jacket to Jiang Ting he had to cover his nose and ask “when was the last time you did the laundry”
also, “wash your feet first thing when you get home or I really will avoid you” omg
Yan Xie: do I look like i have time to change my clothes <- in 3 days
why do you even like him the only thing good about him is that he loves you a lot
most of the words that come out of his mouth (especially towards women) are toxic and just THE WORST
Literally no woman in the novel is surprised that he’s tall, handsome, rich, and is single in his 30’s
his mother: now that he’s this age all I ask is that he chooses someone younger than me
anyway that’s enough about Yan Xie I just had to tell someone after Jiang Ting (whom I love) chose to end up with makes face and points THAT
Meanwhile, the King of Spades is basically a more twisted Asami Ryuichi and how can I not love that fictionally
the king of spades gets a theme song (Young and Beautiful) and childhood episode with MC
Excuse me I have feels about the villain and the MC/villain ship way more than the canon ship orz
Half the plot is about antag trying to turn back time emotionally to see if things between Jiang Ting and himself could have turned out in any way differently
“all i wanted in his life was for you to kill me and then we die together” trope
He is well-dressed, cultured, polite, and utterly off his rocker, kills without blinking, but you know something
He leaves the torturing to Jiang Ting because he’s … probably better at it
Jiang Ting will pull off your fingernails and give you the death of 3000 cuts without batting an eyelash
I love Jiang Ting a regular amount
as mentions of Yan Xie’s lack of hygiene grew less frequent I admit he grew on me (and I guess I want a happy ending for Jiang Ting since he’s suffered enough) but only right up until Yan Xie SPEAKS AGAIN
on the mystery/drama/cases front, it’s good …
too much of the plotting of how convoluted the crimes are hinged on “antag is crazy you can’t explain the motivation of the crazy”
There are plenty of surprises, lots of side characters to get attached to, and come to think of it it’s the kind of happy ending that’s really 地道, nobody (on the good guy side) dies.
Onto Po Yun 2:
MC (Wu Yu) is a contradiction of a killer cinnamon bun (do we still say that? why don’t we still say that?) anyway he can go from polite and sweet and courteous and shy about speaking in public to killer hawk jumping out of the 8th floor window using obstacles to slow his descent to stab target in the throat in 5 seconds flat
Code name “The Painter”, as in “Painted Skin”, cross-border master undercover cop, but he’s pretty to the point of standing out (this is used as a plot point later)
ML (Bu Chonghua, everytime I see his name 蔥花 “chopped green onions” floats across my brain) seems pretty normal at first glance, but he’s “living for vengeance”
MC and ML have childhood background story while MC and villain does not (thank you)
the cases are all related, and they make sense for the most part
MC’s backstory and the final reveal is a bit of a stretch and the writer knows it (and apologises)
But overall, very well plotted cases that takes its time unwinding and doesn’t get explained all at once.
however, some tropes recycled wholesale from book 1 meant that they did not fool me for a single second.
WHUMP and lots of hurt, not so much comfort. These people are wounded so often they really shouldn’t be walking around
I literally can’t tell you anything without giving half the story away, so I won’t — I’m just going to say “read it you won’t regret it”
2 is a better book than 1. Both use the same kind of ship dynamic — MC is evasive and hiding something, ML is full of love but know not to trust entirely because MC is evasive, eventually MC come to realise that “even if I’m evil this man will love me anyway” and then happily ever after. Whether the resulting relationship is healthy is … up for debate, but I’m here for all the car chases / explosions / jumping off buildings / dealing with life and death situations / nearly dying every chapter or two. Come for excitement, nobody dies, and happy wedding endings … ignore the plot holes and inconsistencies.
If Huai Shnag writes a third installment — likely, some ppl are left alive for reasons — I will drop all the points on them. This was totally worth my time. If you buy the jjwxc version, go hunt down the uncensored chapters, there is one smut scene each that got cut.
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you, basking in moonlight, making my blood sing
i did it again, yessssss. ot3 just calls me and i answer right away! due to my life being in its graduation process i am a bit absent and can’t tend to this blog as often as before, so i can’t wait to get my degree (less than two weeks left asjfpiwekfopwekfw) and come back to fangirl here *^*
in the meantime, as i was saying, i wrote more.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
Rating: Teen and Up Audience Pairing: OT3! Jin Ling/Lan SiZhui/Lan JingYi Additional tags: canon Universe, polyamory, disciples ot3, fluff, jin ling trying to flirt, my son grows up so fast- Summary: Jin Ling’s skin tingled at the awareness, so much that he couldn’t meet their eyes while his body came alive, his nerves sparkling with tension and anticipation, his limbs weighting more than they should. He felt sluggish and unfocused -no, that didn’t sound right, it was more like his focus was completely drawn by JingYi and SiZhui.
(Oh, he loved this.
He wanted their attention for himself.) -- Jin Ling seeks attention. He gets a bit more than what he can handle. a.k.a Jin Ling trying to kinda-maybe seduce SiZhui and JingYi -but let's remember who's the Lan boys' teacher.
Read under the cut or ao3.
Jin Ling sheathed Suihua and let his shoulders drop a bit, relishing in the cool breeze that brushed his heated cheeks and blew his hair off his field of vision. No threatening noises came from the area all around them, and the disciples breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing further and slapping palms over backs, grinning enthusiastically at each other.
They were skilled, no doubt about that, and Jin Ling could see the smile of approval on Lan SiZhui’s face, the way his eyes shone with unconstrained pride when they fell on each of his shidis. The hunt went well, no one got hurt and the group of young Lan disciples performed better than the Lanling boy expected, seeing as they all seemed a bit afraid just a couple of days prior. He had felt slightly disappointed when he had seen SiZhui and JingYi greet him at the outskirt of the town where they were going to stay with their disciples in tow -he also got pretty flustered at his own thoughts, refusing to recognise what he was feeling as some sort of unreasonable possessive streak, as if he was that childish to begin with.
(He probably was, though, fully knowing how whatever linked him and them was strong enough to eat his thoughts alive when they were not with him and trail under his skin when they were close, itching for him to-)
Now, he was glad the disciples were here, bringing that joyful glim in SiZhui’s eyes, stretching JingYi’s mouth in a smile as he rubbed their heads, messing their hair and laughing at their protests. The adoration in those shidis’ expressions, though, was blatant, and Jin Ling couldn’t grumble at them for it -he had to lock that silly, immature feeling in a corner of his brain and enjoy the moment.
The large group went back to the inn, walking tidily along the street that separated them from their destination. The sun was setting behind the mountains on the far background, tinting the sky with warm hues of reds, oranges and yellows, the darker colors of the night ready to swallow everything.
Light was still enough to allow them to see where they were going, but Lan SiZhui didn’t want to keep the disciples out that night -not after their non-stop wandering the previous days-, granting them a much needed pause.
Jin Ling could see he loved taking care of those shidis -the thought suddenly evoking another well esteemed shixiong of his knowledge, making shivers crawl up his arms and a frown mark his forehead.
Over the years, his relationship with Wei WuXian got better, even though he couldn’t bring himself to call him uncle or anything of the sort -most of the times, he just avoided calling his name. He couldn’t deny that, aside from whatever he had heard about him growing up, Wei WuXian was good, and it made him grit his teeth with frustration even now, when the man’s presence had already rooted itself in his life. The same comforting feeling he exuded, that protective bubble he seemed to gather everyone in even when it wasn’t necessary -he could see such a trait in SiZhui, too, and he liked it a lot.
Which would probably seem creepy, given that he was looking into resemblances between his not-related-by-blood uncle and one of the boy he kissed.
His frown deepened.
“Psss.”
Jin Ling turned his head sideway, eyes landing on JingYi, who was a couple of step farther, trying to gain his attention. When he succeeded, he smiled, a glint of triumph sparkling in his gaze, and his steps slowed, letting the disciples walk ahead of him so that he could catch up with Jin Ling’s stride.
“Why do you always look so deep in thoughts when you’re alone?”
“People think when they don’t have others pestering them. Maybe you’re not accustomed to doing it?”
The glint from before intensified, and JingYi pouted.
“Ah, mistress, you wound me! How are you so cruel with such a pretty face…”
“You-!” Jin Ling hissed behind gritted teeth, imposing his blood not to rush to his cheeks and give JingYi even more satisfaction. But the Lan boy burst out laughing, drawing unwanted attention on them, disciple whispering and chuckling at the habitual display -as if seeing the young Lanling Jin Sect Leader and their JingYi shixiong fight over things was by now a common occurrence for them.
“Anyway, I didn’t come here to bother you. Come on, come on!” he said, circling Jin Ling’s wrist with his fingers and dragging him away from the scene they were causing, avoiding the entrance of the inn. Jin Ling stuck his feet on the ground, managing to only slow him down -curse Lan Sect’s infamous arm strength!-, and JingYi casted him an impatient gaze, one that made Jn Ling’s stomach topple.
“W-wait, where are we going?! What if SiZhui needs us?!” he protested, but let himself be pulled forward with less resistance.
“Don’t worry, he is in his mama bear mode, let him fuss on his children!”
“C-children-”
“Eeh, what are you imagining, silly boy~”
Jin Ling yelled at him all the insults he could find, flushing in annoyance at the other’s laugh.
JingYi lured him around the building, to the back side of the inn, out of earshot. Jin Ling didn’t even have the time to realise what was happening -he was hastily pressed against the wall, a movement that made him close his eyes and lose balance. Reopening them, ready to curse at JingYi, revealed to be the worst and best idea he had in the span of a few seconds.
Too close, he thought, far from irritated, heart in his throat, bracing his body weight against the support at his back. JingYi’s eyes were almost in line with his, the centimeters Jin Ling had on him that usually secretly gave him a pleasant feeling of control gone, lost in his bent knees and the boy’s towering form in front of him.
“I’ve been wanting to do this since this morning” he murmured, smirk adorning his tempting lips, space between them getting reduced more and more until JingYi’s hands where at either side of Jin Ling’s head and the Lanling boy couldn’t look at nothing but him. His irises were shining with that barely restrained something that he could feel deeply mirrored into him, like a herd of bagui bouncing in his gut. For a moment, Jin Ling didn’t know how to breathe, let alone speak.
(Oh, he couldn’t fool himself even if he wanted to, he loved the feeling of being wanted like that.)
JingYi closed the short distance, mouth brushing against his, smiling deviously when he felt the young Sect Leader shiver.
“W-what are you doing?”
That was such a dumb thing to ask, do you want JingYi to make fun of you even more?, he chastised, slapping himself virtually so that he could gather his focus back. His eyes captured the shadows on the Lan boy’s face, obscured by their position -Jin Ling was basked in moonlight, JingYi, by contrast, all dark angles and shadowed of skin-, marveling in the way the always fairly dressed, pristine, exuberant young man now seemed like a creature of the night, casted in penumbra, pale complexion complimented by the darkness cascading on them.
JingYi was breathtaking, and Jin Ling would never give him the satisfaction to hear him say it.
“I’m trying to kiss you” he replied, simple as that, as if his heart wasn’t beating like crazy and he wasn’t sweating nervously and he couldn’t swallow the knot in his throat like Jin Ling in that moment. The Lanling boy hated how smug and natural JingYi appeared about this.
“Just like that? What a romantic” he played then, shoulders dropping against the wall and chin lifting in arrogance. As if he would make him win that easily.
JingYi chuckled. He raised his left hand and took a lock of Jin Ling’s hair between his fingers, stroking it softly -like he knew it was his weak spot-, every nerve in him sparkling alive at the indirect touch. “Who knew this mistress wanted to be courted like a true maiden- ouch!”
Jin Ling punched him on his right shoulder, lips tight, limbs pulling him in so that he could kiss that superior attitude out of him.
“Let’s see who is the true maiden” he provoked, eyelids half dropping warily, even though he knew that would only please him more. At this point, Jin Ling didn’t even know if his own aim was to win or lose to him.
“Ah, stop being so beautiful, mistress, you’ll make me faint” JingYi jokingly accused him, palm flush on his chest, pressing where his heart was as if it was really hurting.
Jin Ling struggled not to roll his eyes in the air.
“Stop. Calling. Me. That” he spelled out, swiftly grasping the flaps of his robe and tightening his hold. “You are absolutely terrible at this” he added, searching that same glint he knew JingYi had in his eyes everytime he looked at him -he didn’t even have to try that hard, contentment burning in the Lan boy’s expression in such an open way no one would miss it.
“Mmh” he acknowledged, getting his hair tangled with his fingers, knuckles casually grazing the heated skin of his cheeks. “Is that why you’re turning red?”
At that, Jin Ling couldn’t conceal his frustration -awareness made him even more irked. He drew JingYi in and when their lips met, he closed his eyes.
He was still getting used to the sensation of being so in tune with someone, so close to them that he craved for physical contact. He was too prideful to start anything most of the time, so he loved the moments when they sought him out like that -as if he was their favorite prey, as if they couldn’t last long before looking for him. It made him feel shameful, and for a long time he had been so sure that there was something wrong in him for it, for how right wanting to be with them felt, exhilarating and nothing short of everything he had always wanted.
JingYi’s lips were chapped and full, pressing in earnest against his without hesitation, shoving him flush against the wall with the sudden intensity of it. Jin Ling’s breath stuttered in his throat, the rhythm of his heartbeat picking up at once when he instinctively threaded his fingers through his hair, coercing a moan out of JingYi’s covered mouth at the pressure, and pulled his face even more on his own.
The way the Lan boys kissed were as different as their own personalities. SiZhui always made him set the pace, patient and gentle in his touches, where JingYi had nothing of that. He was expecting Jin Ling’s rushed move and faced it the same way he fought -throwing himself at it with all he had, letting each touch, each stroke of skin, each gasp call the next action naturally, giving in to his desire.
His mouth was demanding, the force of it driving Jin Ling to a increasingly rapid pace and making him tremble in reflex, as if one of JingYi’s mocking laughs was shivering against his lips. He met him with the same firm determination, kissing him in a way that had his own legs quiver under his weight, opening his mouth at JingYi’s prying tongue, grasping at his shoulder when he felt like he couldn’t brace himself against the wall any longer.
The Lan boy’s hands soon sneaked into his robes, past the side rips of his tunic and around his waist, chest to chest, fingers sinking into the fabric while wishing for it to be gone. Jin Ling could feel their impatience growing steadily in his bones, his body asking for more, each nerve singing under JingYi’s ministration, relishing in the way the boy held him tighter and tighter, pressing him against the wall until he couldn’t breathe properly and keeping on feeling those lips tracing his in hunger, devouring and claiming his own at every flip of tongue, every bite, every moan Jin Ling wouldn’t know how to contain even if he knew it’d the proper thing to do -right then, it simply was the last thing he cared about.
They ended up kissing for a while, minutes stretching in an endless dream they didn’t want to wake up from. At a certain point they slowed down, inhaling as much air as they could, and Jin Ling flipped them over, pinning one of JingYi’s wrist against the building previously behind him, both swaying with the motion, panting loudly, irises languid with pleasure upon meeting each other.
He caged his face between his other hand and plunged right onto JingYi’s lips without thinking, like he couldn’t live another second without feeling the boy’s mouth on his like that -even though their lips were bruised, sore, red like camellia petals, the taste almost bloody but so, so intoxicating.
JingYi’s moan made him trembled, the words he whispered (mmh, I like it when you get all assertive on m-) instantly suppressed by a clumsy, confused kiss before Jin Ling realised what he had done.
He came back to his senses when the other boy’s eyes, languid and glittering in mirk, blinked at him from behind his lashes, making him hyper aware of what he had done, of how his entire body tingled and shuddered, his numb mind protesting against the widening distance between them. He already ached for those touches and kisses caressing his body in such a hasty, passionate way -needed it all over again, which he knew, somewhere in his head, to be a bad idea.
Red started tinting his cheeks and neck rapidly after that, so Jin Ling’s face sinked in the hollow of JingYi’s neck, the Lanling boy’s heating skin warming him and making him laugh. He patted his nape, murmuring some reassuring word, fully knowing that wasn’t the right moment to tease him about that.
When they went back, a bunch of disciples rolled their eyes and chuckled at the two late comers, soon commenting at the usual bickering protests coming from them.
“How are they always like this? Why do they fight so much?”
“I don’t get why Lan shixiong keeps inviting Jin Sect Leader if he ends up arguing with him like that.”
That kind of talk went on for a bit, up until Lan JingYi and Jin Ling were about to settle down next to Lan SiZhui.
“Ehy” someone, one of the bravest among the disciples, called from the table where they were all gossiping. “Lan shixiong! Did you stay out to fight? Don’t you get tired of always doing that?”
The others looked at him like he was crazy, ushering him and throwing worried glances at Lan SiZhui, hoping he wouldn’t be angry over that comment, but Lan JingYi replied with a huge grin before anyone could say anything about it.
“Not really.”
Jin Ling gritted his teeth and hid his blushing face behind a hand, averting his gaze with a pointed stare.
Only few disciples wondered why Jin Sect Leader was so flustered or JingYi’s face seemed so dumbstruck the moment he turned to look at him. Lan SiZhui smirked, and called everyone over for dinner.
Going to sleep at their same hour, his body learned fast to wake up when they did. He was growing accustomed to their weird and healthy habit, noticing how much better he felt when he rose from bed at the same time every morning after just a couple of days.
Back at Koi Tower, Jin Ling had too many things to do to bask in the luxury of resting at such an early hour, the stress of dealing with the families close to his position as head of the Sect not enough appeased by his uncle’s presence -his jiujiu was a great help and support with the most complicated aspect his role implied, but the bearers of the white peony sometimes glowered at him, partly unnerved by the persisting appearance of an outsider, and a Sect Leader at that.
Too much was on his plate and paradoxically he had to join a night hunt party to feel at peace with himself again.
He stretched up a bit, sighed, parted his eyes open slowly.
Waking up on a bed too full for its size would have bothered Jin Ling a great deal, had it not been for its current occupants. The light gently filtered through the window, not as intense as to be blamed of having woken him up, but enough to justify the movements on the mattress, so careful they barely bothered him -though he sensed it all, he wasn’t a promising cultivator for nothing. Beside, being a de facto Sect Leader at his young age, he taught himself to always be alert, which was why, relaxed as he had been until a couple of minutes prior, he was already rousing from slumber.
So yes, right then and there, the crowded bed thing didn’t annoy him. On the contrary, he was thrilled, content, and proceeded to snuggle more against the pillow, cracking an eye open only minutes after out of curiosity.
The room was still mostly bathed in shadows, heavy curtains shielding them from part of the timid rays of morning light, but Jin Ling was pretty sure Gusu waking time had already passed, explaining why the two Lan were up and about. They probably kept them mostly shut for him, to let him sleep a bit more, and from his lips a deep, pleased sigh slipped through, alerting the boys of his state.
He could have closed his eyes and feigned sleep, let their roaming eyes check on him and see if he had really woken up or not -but Jin Ling was too eager, suddenly, too concentrated on contemplating them to divert his gaze from where they stood.
Lan SiZhui was the first to smile at him, making his pulse jump in response.
“Good Morning, A-Ling. Did we wake you up?”
Both Lan boys were busy preparing themselves for the day, it seemed, even though they were still in their inner robe. SiZhui’s hair was already done, his ponytail shifting elegantly on his back when he turned to check on Jin Ling and found him awake. His fingers were intertwined with JingYi’s hair, intent on arranging it in his usual hairstyle.
Lan JingYi yawned, sending him a lazy grin from the reflection on the mirror.
“What woke you up so early, did you miss us?”
“Would that be strange?”
Jin Ling’s lips parted before he could think of keeping that thought for himself, and he echoed JingYi’s yawn, rubbing his sleepy eyes. Peeking at them in the meantime, he saw the comb in SiZhui’s hand halt and the way both of them looked at him through the reflection in the mirror.
His cheeks reddened a bit, a corner of his head cursing him for his lack of filters, and he smoothed his expression in a plain one, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Their gazes, thought, burned of him and made him squirm on the bed while he tried to sit up and abandon it -he didn’t want to appear like the lazy one, even when he loved lingering on the comfy surface under their watchful stare.
Jin Ling’s skin tingled at the awareness, so much that he couldn’t meet their eyes while his body came alive, his nerves sparkling with tension and anticipation, his limbs weighting more than they should. He felt sluggish and unfocused -no, that didn’t sound right, it was more like his focus was completely drawn by JingYi and SiZhui.
(Oh, he loved this.
He wanted their attention for himself.)
So Jin Ling got up, slowly, stumbling a bit, and then proceeded to reach with his arms above his head, stretching them as long and thoroughly as he could, shoulders rolling subtly in the process to make his inner robe slip slightly, not enough for him to borderline indecence or have to make himself conscious of it and fix it under the Lan boys’ eyes.
He didn’t look at them, still, feigned it all the way. He searched for his hair garments and found them on the little bedside table on the left, took them without a word and sat on the side of the bed. He gathered his hair on one shoulder and lifted his gaze while threading his fingers through his locks, pouting as he looked at SiZhui.
“It’s so unfair, I want SiZhui to take care of my hair, too”
They were watching him. Both of them had turned and given him their undivided attention -that was why Jin Ling could swear he saw SiZhui swallow and JingYi more awake than a couple of seconds before, fingers clenching on SiZhui’s hand on his shoulder.
Jin Ling lowered his eyelids, waiting for an answer.
He tilted his head to the side a bit and crossed his legs when he didn’t get one.
“So?” he prompted, nervous at the lack of response but unable to display it as a weakness -his heart shrank in his chest when they looked at each other in helplessness.
“What?” he kept going, trying to suppress the uneasiness his mind projected on the situation. “Did I break another Lan rule or something? You don’t want to?”
“No!” SiZhui burst out suddenly, cheeks reddening suspiciously, making Jin Ling jump in surprise.
“S-sorry. It’s not a problem at all!” SiZhui replied quickly, smiling sheepishly at Jin Ling’s frown and going back to neatly style JingYi’s hair in a high ponytail, brushing his cheek with his knuckles as he fixed the lock framing his face. JingYi caught SiZhui’s fingers with his own and drove them to his lips, mumbling a thank you against his skin and rising on his feet to press another kiss on SiZhui lips.
He took him by the hand and dragged him where Jin Ling was, taking his hair garments from his hold.
At Jin Ling’s startled expression, he winked and said: “I’ll keep these while SiZhui fixes you hair, it looks like you have a nest on your head!”
“That’s not true!”
SiZhui giggled, asking Jin Ling to turn around so that he can get to work, and the Lanling boy smiled, content and grateful, palm sneaking around SiZhui’s neck and bringing him down to kiss him.
He loved the taste of SiZhui’s lips. Somehow, they were always soft and savoury to the point of making him crave for more, as if he had coated them of aphrodisiac that made him lose every semblance of rationality.
He bit onto the lower one, indulged in the way his teeth sank and the lip swelled up around them, then gently let go, licking his lips to preserve that sensation. SiZhui followed after him in reflex, stopping a second later, expression dreamy and hungry.
It was Jin Ling’s turn to swallow.
After that he obeyed, giving him his back, and in an instant JingYi’s head plopped on his lap, eyes covered by his arm. Jin Ling huffed, but relaxed immediately when SiZhui’s fingers gathered his hair and started untangling every lock before using the comb.
“What are you doing?” he whispered to JingYi, unconsciously toning his voice down, a part of him feeling hyperaware of the strange tension in the room.
(He knew he ached for that same tension to snap and drown the three of them.)
JingYi hummed lightly. He lowered his limb and looked at him, glinting irises and pink ears telling Jin Ling more than his words could.
“You should warn a man before doing something like that, Jin Ling. Aren’t you being too cheeky?” he said, slyly sulking and looking up at him.
“I disagree. I pretty much like his surprise attack” SiZhui argued, fingertips grazing lightly over Jin Ling’s neck, making goosebumps crawl all over his arms and back. He had to bit his lower lip and prevent his throat from letting any kind of noise out.
He was definitely doing it on purpose.
When JingYi grinned, Jin Ling knew he had noticed, too.
The Lan boy with the head on his lap took his hand and moved it closer to his mouth, his irises smiling mischievously at him when his lips came in contact with them, lavishing every digit with care and attention. Every kiss left a tickling sensation on the tender skin, body growing numb when SiZhui moved even closer, the warmth at Jin Ling’s back as much distracting and pleasant as the one on his lap.
His mouth parted, eyes lost on the movement of JingYi’s lips, his nerves shuddering at the hypnotic rhythm SiZhui kept brushing his hair. It was good, too good, too comfy and slow and not enough, the way they caged him so naturally and without him even noticing and how exhilarating it felt -he couldn’t try and imagine how it’d feel if they didn’t stop at that, or else Jin Ling’s brain would implode right there and then.
Instead, he touched upon JingYi’s lower lip gently, heat trailing up his face at his own bold gesture.
“D-didn’t I kiss you enough yesterday? You are demanding too much!”
“As if I would ever have enough of you” JingYi smoothly rebutted, nuzzling the palm of the Lanling boy’s hand teasingly lapping at it with the tip of his tongue. The act had his hand spasm and his shoulders quivering -his body far from being disgusted by it-, the fingers between his hair making it hard for him to feel riled up in a way that didn’t involve him desiring more.
“SiZhui, please tell him to stop provoking me!”
“What a prissy princess…” the other retorted, finally letting go of his hand.
“If I am so prissy, stop using me as your personal pillow!”
“Why, is it okay for you to use me like that but when it comes to me I can’t?!”
Their bickering seemed to clear the air from tautness that hovered over them -Jin Ling mourned it, but he knew it wasn’t the right time. His voice didn’t feel as loud as it usually would be during his insult-matched with JingYi, probably thanks to SiZhui’s wonderful touch. He could easily get addicted to it, the deftness and regard with which his fingers threaded through his locks felt so soothing and comfortable it made him drunk and drowsy, like he could fall asleep in a moment.
It was perfect - they were perfect, and somehow, they were perfect for him.
“Doesn’t A-Ling like it, though?”
Those words and a pulling sensation on his head shook him from his lethargy.
“What?”
SiZhui’s fingers grazed over his jaw, tipping his head back until Jin Ling could see him upside down.
“Doesn’t A-Ling like it when we spoil or provoke him?”
Jin Ling’s eyes grew wide and his breath stumbled in his throat, mouth gaping open and words eluding him. He knew -of course he knew, he was SiZhui, but being bared like that had his heart beating like crazy.
The weight on his lap left, but he barely sensed it when SiZhui’s face dipped, careful not to bump on the tip of his nose with his chin. Then, he kissed him, nice and slow, taking his time with Jin Ling’s lips as if he was savouring them.
“Mh? What’s A-Ling’s reply?” he asked again, so close that question was puffed right on his shaking mouth.
“Yes” Jin Ling mumbled, without thinking, head spinning -a gasp leaving him when another pair of lips found his neck.
“No surprise there” JingYi commented, tone eager and husky, the Lanling boy’s toes curling in response.
Everything was over in a matter of seconds -SiZhui fixed the locks framing his face and kissed the tip of his nose before stepping back, hands steady on Jin Ling’s shoulders to keep the boy from falling back, and JingYi lingered a few moments more, tempted to leave a mark on the immaculate expanse of Jin Ling’s collarbone but deciding against it, restricting himself to a simple brush of his lips.
He had been defeated.
While Jin Ling tried to breathe properly again, he thought he was glad for the bed under him -he would have probably toppled over for the strain, that much was for sure. He had been certain he had everything figured out, up until the point he realised they had started playing his own game and ended up winning without trouble.
“Come on, our cute disciples should be already up. SiZhui doesn’t like to keep them waiting!” JingYi declared, eyeing the other with a knowing glance and poking at him with his elbow.
“We are responsible for them, I don’t want them to feel neglected” was the answer, tone wavering and tentative as if SiZhui was overconscious of his own behaviour. JingYi and Jin Ling exchanged a look, both of them thinking how cute that reaction of his was.
And that was it, Jin Ling thought, leaving the mattress and moving closer to the door where the two Lan boys were waiting for him.
In his heart, all the teasing and lingering gazes felt more like victory than defeat.
Better, they felt like a promise.
#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#mdzs fic#my mdzs writing#my writing#lan jingyi#lan sizhui#jin ling#zhuilingyi
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Canon divergence - Edgar bad end 2: This is for the best.
Returning back from the hell that is laziness to bring you the last part of this Bad end series (it was supposed to be 3 separate ones but...i changed my mind XD )
The two fics are not tied together. Each of them starts from a different point from the main route and diverge from there.
This one contains major spoilers for Chapter 26!!
(hopefully the “keep reading” works...)
Word Count: about 1630 (wow...longest i’ve written)
Warnings: ANGST i’ll put that here...
Tagging: @edgarbright for helping me put the final touches (and for helping and encouraging me in general :3) and @littlelady-blackwell ...I didn’t have you be my victim this time but this way it’ll hurt more :)
Bad end 1 here
It was a sunny, bright afternoon.
The trial of the Jack of Hearts was currently in progress. Most of the recent charges, concerning his rebellion for control over cradle and Alice’s imprisonment in the Red Army Headquarters, were cleared with the testimony of the Red officers and Alice.
However…The sins resting on Edgar’s shoulders were far more important and heavier than this.
“The trial is not over. Judgement has yet to be passed on the greatest crime the defendant is accused of. “ Blanc's declaration shut down all the cheering that rose after the first ruling was made.
“Blanc is right.” Edgar's voice was calm. He was calm. Prepared to pay the price for his sins.
“We now know that, in the past, the defendant and his uncle were involved in many assassinations and conspiracies. These were not ordered by the King of Hearts, but were carried for monetary gain.“ Edgar nodded, drowning the courtroom in silence. It was like being dosed in cold water.
“But! You were ordered to do all that by Claudius--“ Alice started, but he cut her off. “I'm still the one who followed his orders. Convincing myself it was my ‘duty’, and never trying to resist my fate.“ he smiled, continuing his point, “My hands have snuffed out countless futures. I spent the first half of my life as a spineless fool. That is my greatest crime.“
Everyone in the courtroom understood why he was smiling.
(Edgar is smiling to cover up the agony he feels inside. Apologizing and crying over his regrets won't bring back the people he killed.)
(Even after acknowledging his crimes and suffering for them, he won't forgive himself.)
Alice's heart felt like it was breaking all over again.
“Lancelot and I have been investigating these charges.” Ray’s voice took over the silence. “It was no easy feat, with all official documents being cleverly hidden--” he paused slightly, letting the information sink in, and turning his gaze towards Edgar- “But with the Jack of Hearts help,we managed to find concrete evidence.”
“Bailiff, give the evidence to the record keeper.” Lancelot ordered.
The bailiff bowed, and handed Blanc a thick file. He flipped through it his expression growing grim the more he looked at it.
Those present in the courtroom started growing impatient, with whispers of what it was about flying around. Blanc lifted his head and stated “This file is a collection of documents. It contains a detailed list of all the conspiracies and assassinations Claudius Bright orchestrated in the past, and several of them were carried by the defendant, Edgar Bright.”
With that Blanc started reading it. There was too much information in that file, including the names of the high-class nobles who ordered assassinations from the Brights. It took awhile for him to finish, the courtroom falling silent again after it. Stunned by the severity of the situation. The tension filling the air was really thick by now.
“One more thing. The now imprisoned, Claudius Bright, gave a testimony from his cell.” Ray started, with Lancelot taking over for him- “He confessed that He was controlling Edgar into following his orders, and forcing him to do the assassinations ever since he turned 13 years old.”
There was nothing more to say. No one would be able to say anything anyway, even if they wanted to. All words dying in their throats. The evidence was clear and detailed.
“It is time for the final ruling.” At Blanc’s shout, everyone’s attention focused on the two judges.
“The severity of the crimes committed by the Jack of Hearts remains the same. But he is also a victim, controlled his entire life by his uncle. And he helped with gaining access to the evidence. We have considered these three points in reaching our verdict.” Lancelot continued where Ray left off “The defendant is sentenced as follows-- He will be immured for 20 years and will carry the weight of his crimes for the rest of his life by serving the Red Army unfailingly after that. The secret position of state assassin, forced on the Jack of Hearts 100 years ago, is hereby dissolved. That is all.”
“Mm--” It was a fair, logical result. But being freed from that secret position made Edgar feel happy. It was the one thing tying him down, and it was now removed.
“What do you say for yourself, Jack of hearts?”
“I will take your judgement to heart and uphold your sentence for as long as i live.”
“Yes, see that you do.”
“Thank you.” Edgar bowed his head low to the room.
With the trial closed, and final judgement passed, Edgar was led to where he’ll be spending the next 20 years of his life.
___________
Edgar laid down on the bed of his cell, staring at the ceiling. For someone who was condemned to spend a part of his life in jail, he didn’t look that miserable. Just...Bored.
It's been about 2 years since he came here. And he always has the same person on his thoughts. Alice. He dreams about her all the time. His mind drifting to the happy memories he experienced with her. Her sweet smile, her melodic laughter. Those little moments he spent having fun with her and the Creek family. Just goofing around and having fun.
They made him Keep his sanity and lose it as the same time.
Hearing the sound of footsteps in the distance, woke him from his reveries. Ah yes...It’s time. The sound grew louder till the one they belong to stopped in front of the cell’s metallic bars. “Zero, my protegee, It’s nice seeing you here again.”....
---------[Time Skip]---------
Time sure flies fast. More than 10 years already. He’d been getting the usual news from Zero about everyone. Nothing really changed, maybe even more peaceful without his ‘annoying teasing’. But whenever he asked about Alice...Zero just couldn’t seem to respond...It was like he was avoiding the subject. But it was showing in his eyes...Sorrow? guilt?
Nevertheless, even without Zero’s help, he caught on some little details everytime Jonah or Alice came to visit. Details he wished he didn’t notice...it’s understandable though, considering how much he hurt her and broke her heart.
That doesn’t mean that it’s not been hurting him…
They got closer with time. Edgar heard that Alice became really depressed and began losing her cheerfulness after his imprisonment. Jonah, the closest one to her, had apparently made it his duty to make sure she felt happy again.
Edgar saw how they looked and acted when they visited him. They got really close indeed. But it wasn’t like they were hiding it or anything...they probably had yet to notice their newly developed feelings for each other. But with Zero’s recent visit, he could tell that something happened.
Would hearing the confirmation put me at ease...or make it much more unbearable?
That thought kept swirling in his mind, sometimes preventing him from sleeping. He didn’t know what to do anymore…
A few days later, both Jonah and Alice came to visit him...together. Greetings were exchanged, Alice asking about his well being. Jonah complaining about how Edgar’s work is now part of his and how he should hurry up and return to his position in the army, again.
Edgar could feel it. The aura surrounding both of them. Something really did happen, and from their expressions, troubled and hesitant, he could tell they wanted to say something but didn’t know how to.
Should he bring it up first? Ask them, tease them about it?...
“How is it going between you two? Who confessed to the other? Considering our Queen’s nature it’s probably Alice who did all the work.” He started, wearing his mischievous smile, masking with it the pain that throbbed in his heart. Teasing should work.
“Wha- that’s not true! I can say ‘I love you’ to the woman i love just fine.” Huffing slightly, Jonah scowled.
There we go...The truth finally out.
After that outburst, shock settled in. He had known. Figured it out, while they were still trying to find a way to say it. “Edgar--” He cut her off- “Don’t worry about it, dear Alice, I have known for a while now. And Jonah is much more fitting than i’ll ever be.”
You are an angel. An angel shouldn’t be anywhere near a demon.
It surprised him how he was still composed after this...It’s a blessing, really. Being able to disguise one’s true feelings.
Edgar put on a warm smile before continuing, “You two are happier together. I can tell. Please, don’t feel guilty about me.” Their faces filled with relief And the visit ended with them talking happily. Edgar teasing them and making them both blush. An image mirroring their life at headquarters before.
It hurts...It hurts so much…
Edgar’s composure fell apart the moment they were out of sight. He knew it was for the best. It still felt like his heart was breaking into million pieces, soul shattering. Even after all these years, he loved Alice still, if not more. But she now was out of reach, further than ever.
Droplets of water run down his face. Where is this water coming from? There should be nothing here that could get water to such place. Raising his hand, fingers touching where his cheeks were wet.
“Mm--” It was him. He made this water...Hot tears falling, running down his cheeks and ending on the floor.
It hurts...But, it’s for the best...This is part of the price i must pay for my sins.
The years left of his time here would feel like true hell from now on.
#okay....finally done#i'm officially emotionally spent#i can't take it anymore#EDGAR!!! I'M SORRY FOR HURTING YOU MY PRECIOUS JELLY BEAN HUBBY#TTwTT#I....I'm just gonna lay down...#probably eat some cookies for emotional support#ikerev#ikerev fanfic#ikerev spoilers#ikemen revolution#edgar bright#lancelot kingsley#ray blackwell#blanc lapin#jonah clemence#angst#Edgar's route spoiler#My writing#Sylvie's writing
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Shook in a good way or a bad one?
Hello Anon, thanks for asking and sorry for my late answer (busy days, sleepless nights :/ ) This got bit long and also took time to write…
I’d say Shocked because I was so not excpecting this…unfortunately, althought I did like some stuff in the movie and I could have actually enjoyed it had it not been a Star Wars sequel, it was not a really good surprise… Too much OOCness for me.
I am also left with some frustrations and a lot of worries about what will happen in ep IX and what will happen to the fandom…
I put more details (a lot of it being kylux related) under the cut (beware for spoilers (obviously), me being the anxious and dramatic bitch I am, rambling and probably poor english (I am so tired,sorry)).
So first of all, as I said, there were things I liked: Rose (being a badass), Finn wanting to find Rey, BB8 being a badass ass well, Luke being critical of the old jedi order, Kylo not being able to kill Leia despite trying, Leia being alive at the end of the movie (I didn’t thought It’d hurt so much when I though she died!), R2D2 showing Luke Leia’s message, all those new alien spieces (loved those big cat-horses!!!), lightsaber duels (wow), new and interesting ways to use the force (I am now craving for long distance cuddling/sex thanks to the force), getting to see a lot of Kylo’s face and hair (dashing!),Kylo dropping his robe Obi-Wan style,…
But my main and big problem was how OOC felt most of the characters…
Luke. Luke with a lightsaber above a sleeping Ben and wanting to kill him. No. I mean, they did explained he never wanted to kill but lighted it on out of pure reflex when his jedi senses went tingling, but still…
Hux. Come on, Hux is not an idiot! He is competent and rutheless and sassy. It didn’t bother me seeing Poe making fun of him. I mean Hux is his enemy, of course he would take on the occasion to diminish him/make him look like a fool. What did bother me was Hux’s reaction. Like he wouldn’t realise what was happening!! Only at the end of the movie did I feel like I recognised him (It was relieving reading I was not the only one in the case)! Also I didn’t see him repeating Kylo’s orders as a joke but rather as a proof the he was the one in command (they did obey him!).
Kylo may be the one that upset me the most thought! He turned from Snoke too fast if you ask me (Rey too was prompt to “accept” Kylo) . And him being unable/unwilling to kill her! So what he can kill his father (even if it shatters him) but not a girl he met twice?? This plus the topless scene makes me fear they could make Reylo happen (I do respect people shipping it but I really don’t like it). Since they obviously won’t make Stormpilot happen (I did not have a lot of hope but well) my only hope is now that Finn and Rey end up together (and that the “purpose” of that kiss with Rose was to introduce unecessary jalousy in their relationship (and not a way to destroy all the other parings involving Finn, making Rey “available”)).
And the way he treated Hux hurt me. I know I sound dramatic and all but it did (I was uncomfortable with the strangle and actualy yelled in protest in the cinema when Hux was pushed against the wall). I know they kind of hate each other and that Snoke himself made sure to maintain a rivalry between them, but that was unessessary (I could even argue that if Snoke took the calculated risk to encourage the rivalry, it was because he knew that Hux had the shoulders to take on the competition and that Kylo somehow respected him enough to not kill him/damage him (otherwise the co-commandship would have been compromised)). You don’t see Vader strangle Tarkin, and I can’t imagine him doing so even if the Emperor had died. Plus, Kylo may be a bad guy but he was never shown taking pleasure in inflicting pain for the sake of it, so I don’t see him enjoying hurting Hux for revenge.
On a side note, as much as I like how “Supreme Leader Kylo” sounds, part of me still fail to understand why would Kylo want to be Supreme Leader in the first place and why he didn’t just…leave. Maybe he would want to “take” his master’s position, but the fonction is also highly political, and at that point Kylo was pretty much “fuck the resistance fuck the order fuck them all”. Of course ruling the Order would mean he has troops and equipment at disposal (useful to track Rey, Luke,…) but for that he would need Hux… And where are my Knights of Ren anyway??
I am scared for the Kylux fandom right now. With a new movie coming, the perspective of gaining new shippers was real. But now I feel like Reylo will be the (only) ship that will gain a lot of popularity (again, I don’t mind people shipping it, as long as no one spread hate, but it makes me still sad for Kylux (+Finnrey and Stormapilot)). To be honnest, had I only see TLJ, I would have never shipped Kylux (hopefully I’ve seen TFA and I don’t intend on stopping). The relationship was depicted differently, in a way I don’t like. I am aware I may seem like an oversensitive bitch but I need a relationship to be balanced for me to ship it And I absolutely hate anything that looks like an abusive relationship to me (of course I am not talking here about consensual practices between responsible adults). I don’t fancy seeing Kylo raising hands on Hux and I would basically rather have had no scenes of them together than having had those. I have read meany beautiful Kylux fic, were I found them to be on character and and I didn’t have this feeling during the movie.
This somehow terrifies me because I felt like there was a Kylux dynamic (now of course everyone has their own headcanons, that’s not what I’m saying) and I am so affraid that all this could be lost. That they may be seen as a violent/abusive couple now besause no. That is never how I’m gonna see them. And that is not how their relationship was depicted in TFA (and yes I know I am not completely stupid, TFA did not declare Kylux canon I am just talking about their interactions in general). And I know my anxiety may seem stupid and ridiculus and anxiety episodes might often look that way, even from the point of view of the anxious person but it doesn’t stop it from deeply shaken you because for you it’s important and frightening. And I have really not been good lately with a weight on my stomac (wella big weight that hurt) since leaving the room and my mind running wild on bad thoughts so.
But enough with my state of mind, their are also two other main things that bothered me and that was
-Snoke’s dead. WTF???(I was in shock in the cinema with my mouth open, yes) How did Kylo turned against him so fast (I can consider the fact that killing his father made him reconsider things but still it was a big turn) and mostly What? Like that? So fast? It was almost too easy! And won’t we have any explainations about him?!? Who is him? What are his motives? Why is he so force-powerful? What was he even doing on this ship in person after being a distant hidden figure during ep VII? (and where did he find those golden bathrobes??). At this point I am almost convinced that he is not dead, that his presence aboard the ship was a force projection (like Luke’s) and that it all was part of the plan, and I am going to be pissed if he is not in ep IX (and if we don’t at least get information about him!).
-The second thing was Holdo’s actions. I was waiting to see her and was happy to see the actrice again (I am also happy everytime 35+ looking actresses get a job) but I found the character frustrating. I can’t find a single reason why she woudn’t inform her fellow resistance members that she did have a plan (a retreat planet waiting for them). Was she afraid of a mole? Was she afraid Poe was a mole (he was strangely careful in the begining of the movie but that’s a bit extreme)?? If not why did she not just told him what was planned? And if she thought there did was a mole or had any other valid reason not to tell it, why did she not at least tell “Yes, I have a plan. I cannot explain it to you yet but there indeed is an other option than to run out of fuel and be killed”. When there begins to be this much tension inside the group it may be time to do something so you don’t destroy each other before the enemy can! ‘You don’t have to wait for the day to believe their is a sun’ well at least tell me there is a sun so I can believe in it and wait for it! How can people trust you if you don’t inform them their is something to trust? If you don’t tell people there is an option of course they will try to find one?!
In the end I felt as if TFA had been made by people who knew and love Star Wars (I had low expectations about it and ended up so happy!) while TLJ was made by someone that wanted to made a sci-fi movie and that’s all. And since I came to see a Star Wars movie I feel somehow tricked…I also had the feeling that things were a little bit rushed, as if this was supposed to be a stand alone movie rather that the middle part of a trilogy… And I am not sure I amgoing to take everything in the movie as canon rather than as the realisator’s own vision…
Wow this got really long, thanks for reading if you did and sorry for throwing my fears and frustrations around but I needed it! And don’t let soft Kylux die please…
#tlj#tlj spoilers#review#kind of#kylux#congrats if you manage to read it all!#you don't have to of course!#and if you want to talk to me about someting i said#just do#if anyone want actually#but now i am going to sleep#well soon
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WHERE IS LAVI
Sadly all my magic rituals to try and scry directly inside Hoshino’s mind haven’t worked just yet, so I can’t answer this question - also, looks like DGM isn’t in the line-up for Jump SQ Crown this month either :( so we won’t know for at least another four months still - since Lavi’s my absolute most fave and thinking about the situation he’s in makes me feel literal pain and no actual solution to it seems to want to come any time soon, I try to think about it as little as I can. After six years of waiting for him denial has become my best friend, anon 👍
Anon said:DID YOU SEE MY SON BEING CARRIED AROUND I LOVE HIM SO MUCHH
I’m gonna assume you’re talking about Shinsou! He was adorable, but lbr the habit Horikoshi has of having him and Tetsu always appear together kind of takes all my possible hype away from Shinsou to direct it on the shark child. I hope Horikoshi will stop doing that, actually
Anon said:Lmao, in the coffee shop au I noticed you drew Kaminari with his hair shorter in the back - did you do that so you could avoid drawing a mullet? I cry
Actually!!! I hadn’t thought about that! But there had to be a reason why he looked better like that JK I love Kaminari’s hair and haircut, he’s the only child I’m gonna accept having a sort-of-mullet and still looking fine as hell - it’s because his hair looks so soft? And silky? I kinda wanna braid it I should draw him with his hair braided
Anon said:You know, after last chapter, seeing Kirishima reassure Midoriya and telling him not to talk negatively about himself takes a whole new meaning. This boy, he really cares so much about other people than himself
I wouldn’t say he cares more for others than himself, but he definitely does have different standards for others compared to those he uses on himself - then again, isn’t that just how people with low self-esteem always act? BUT!!! I have all the good reasons to think that Bakugou’s words have significantly lessened Kirishima’s inferiority complex about his quirk (because I’m locating that chat before the license exam and when you think about it since around then Kiri has been acting more confidently !!!) so I don’t think you should worry too much anymore! Kirishima has Bakugou and Bakugou has Kirishima and they keep each other good and positive and that’s beautiful and I’m alive
Anon said:What is your full name, if you don’t mind me asking??
Why anon, isn’t Fran enough for you? *wiggle eyebrows* kidding, I’m assuming all my Italian friends have guessed already since it’s a pretty common name so it’s cool, you can know, my full name is Francesca. Though I’d really prefer it if you’d keep on calling me just Fran 👍
Anon said: Why are you so perfect
Hah I’m really, really, really not anon
Anon said: Honestly their hairs are so amazing in the last one and i absolutely love the way you never do the prompts the way they are expected and idk if you do it on purpose but its just amazing
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much????? And I wouldn’t say I do it on purpose, I just draw the first thing with a beginning and an ending I can manage to think about (fun fact, sometimes I deem the first thing too ridiculous or not good enough and I try to think about something else but by then the idea is there and I won’t be able to draw anything else r i p)
Anon said:Geez when Kiri called Baku manly and cool I was just like “end me” how did I not realize how precious he is in s1? He’s so frikkin adorable!
He doesn’t really do much in s1!!! But he is adorable isn’t he??? He’s the sun of my life I love him so much bless his gay heart
Anon said:I LOVE HOW YOU DRAW KUROO
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:I hope your happy you jelly bean! I started to watch boku no hero to understand the poly ship you ship. Now I can escape this hell cause I know I’ll read the manga next!
I actually am really damn happy!!!!! I hope you’ll enjoy it all till the very end if you do catch up, anon!! Come back and tell me who your fave is, once you’re done °O°
Anon said:Hinata forgot to spike the ball
HE DID I can’t believe that small adorable disaster of a boy how is he even still a regular oh my g O D I love him so much I can’t believe him what a good (mostly tho, he jumped like Hoshiumi holy FUCK I can’t wait to see that one work for him !!!)
Anon said:there’s a terushima week coming up soon?? might we see a cute bokuroteru maybe? :O
Since I’m literally just finding out about this, like, right now and the week starts in about three days or something I can’t really promise I will participate in it, anon ;;;—;;; I don’t have the time to plan for it at this point and in the same period there’s the bakushima week too (which I… still haven’t drawn anything for r I P) and !!!!! It’s just too little time BUT next month it’s polyship may!!! One prompt per day for the whole month and it’s all about polyships, I plan on drawing small doodles for all of them, or at least try, and bokuroteru will DEFINITELY be between the ot3s I’ll draw for!!!! I hope that’s good enough for you :( I’m actually so damn sad I just found out about this ;;;-;;;
Anon said:i think i’m in love with your art (especially youre bakushimanari and your bokuro to be honest !) because everytime i go on your blog i stay here for hours and hope it never end ! well, thank you for sharing all those cute art with us !! ♥
AHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! I’m glad I can make you enjoy my lil blog that much??? This actually made me so happy oh my god (////▽////)
Anon said:How on Earth does Bakugou fit his giant bracers in the tiny briefcase thingy the school gives them to keep their costumes in, do you suppose?
The cases are bigger on the inside *doctor who theme playing in the distance* either that or he’s actually Mary Poppins, which wouldn’t be all that bad would it I’m laughing lmao
(when you think about it really huge costume pieces fit in a few other kids’ cases too - take Iida and Aoyama, or Kirishima’s gears, or Ochako’s arm pieces - so I’m just assuming the support kids are really really crafty… and Bakugou’s gauntlets can probs disassemble, he must take forever to gear up)
The real question here is why Hagakure needs a case at all
Anon said:now that i started reading bnha i appreciate your art alot more. I already loved your art even though i didnt know who all the character were who werent from voltron or hq
Ahhhhh thank you so much!!!!! I really really hope you’ll like the manga at least enough to keep reading, anon!!!
Anon said:I know it’s so rude but, is it somethin’ about Kuroo/Bakugou that makes Bokuto/Kirishima get hot to trot?
ANON I’m sorry but I can’t let myself answer even just vaguely nsfw asks - I just, even though I might have headcanons for these there is a certain line with nsfw I’m really not comfortable crossing and once you start answering this kind of questions it’s hard drawing that line and making it so that you’ll always be sure it will be respected and I just… really don’t want to get to the point where one day I’ll open my inbox and find something I’ll feel really uncomfortable with? Does that make sense??? aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! I hope you’ll understand ;;-;;
Anon said:Bokutitties. what even. Reminds me of the Shimada brothers (do you play Overwatch??) and their left nipple that is always exposed
I don’t, but most of my dash does so I get what you’re talking about lmao I can 100% assure you it was an accidental coincidence, anon haha
Anon said:okey okey do i was thinking about your art of bakugou being cold and shit and i. i came up with this idea like, what if baku is that sort of person who hates socks? so hell go complain to kirishima and or kaminari about being cold and theyll just go; …..put on some goddamn socks
!!!!!!!!!!!! Anon you wanna know the best thing about this? If you keep an eye out for all the times you can see Bakugou’s ankles in the manga it seems like he actually never wears socks I’ll cry forever your headcanon might as well be canon what a blessed moment
Anon said:I see and accept your hero course sleeplessness and would like to raise it to the teachers giving puppet/shadow shows.
….you can’t make a shadow show without Tokoyami getting involved so I’ll assume he’ll find a way to wiggle into it too, and he’d bring Shouji with because his quirk could help - I bet my head you can’t have Aizawa participate even offering to pay him, and also that it probably started from Mic because he’s extra like that
most enthusiastic participants would be Snipe and Toshi, Cementoss would have no problems with it either and his quirk is handy for cool effects, Midnight is kind of live and let live about the whole deal but doesn’t mind stopping by to look at them making fools of themselves now and again - most of the students are like ???? why tho the first time because they aren’t kids anymore and there’s no reason for this, Iida though doesn’t even question sitting through the whole thing because it’s their teachers and it’s just the right thing to do, Izuku does the same but just because All Might, Ochako stays because Izuku and Iida stay, same for Todoroki, and if Ochako stays so does Tsuyu - Kirishima and Mina are the only actually enthusiastic ones out of Baku’s group but they got a way to bring all of the squad together for it anyway, Baku included, they’re noisy and pushy just enough for that… actually when I think about it in the end everyone would stay at least the first time for one reason or another , and then the show starts, and it’s with quirks and really out of scale on the special effects with microphones and bgm and shifting stages and so on and this was supposed to help the students with sleeplessness but at this point it’s just the teachers having fun and together with them the kids as well no one goes to sleep any time soon when they put together a show lbr
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A Blind Path Home, Part 2
Steve Rogers x Reader
A/N: I obviously took some liberties with the storyline, but I tried keeping it as true as possible to the canon history. No beta used this time around, so excuse my mistakes.
Summary: It started with a blind date. A date you had skipped out on, but fate had led you right to the man you stood up. Steve Rogers, a man small in stature but big in heart. A chance meeting set everything in motion, but decades later when he is unfrozen, he has been told you have died. But when a mission to retrieve Hydra plans turned up some interesting information, Steve’s left to wonder whether you are still alive. Or is this all just false hope?
Masterlist
The cool breeze hit Steve’s face as he pulled down on his blue cap and zipped up his jacket. It was the same routine he had followed every Sunday, for a few years now. Started when Tony had retrieved his file from S.H.I.E.L.D and gave it to him. Inside, along with other important papers, was a black and white photograph of one of the best days of his life. You were wearing a simple white dress that came a little past your knees, holding a bouquet of purple tulips. Steve was wearing a black suit, that looked a little too big on him. The two of you were standing in front of city hall, holding hands with big smiles on your faces. The file also included a short summary of how in the summer of 89’, ovarian cancer had taken you from the Earth. Nowhere in the report did it say you remarried or had children, only that you had continued to live in the same basement apartment in Brooklyn until your death.
Steve had beaten himself for months after reading that, angry at himself for leaving you behind. He’d lie awake on his bed many nights, picturing the lonely life you must have lived. The only way he could get some sleep was to convince himself otherwise. But he'd wake up the next morning with the weight of your loneliness on his shoulders once again. He should have never left you, he should have stayed home.
You never wanted him to join the army, but respected and admired that he wanted to do his part. But everything had changed the night before Bucky had to ship off to England. That night had changed the course of the future you thought you’d have with Steve.
“Eat up Sgt. Barnes,” you encouraged the handsome man, scooping another helping of mash potatoes on his plate.
He groaned in pleasure and held a hand to his heart. “A woman after my own heart.”
Steve shook his head and took a healthy bite of meat loaf. “Watch it, Bucky.”
“Ah, come on! We all know Y/N’s your girl,” Bucky winked at you. Laughing at his nonsense you felt a pang of sadness seeing the man, who had by extension was like a brother to you, in his uniform ready to go off to war.
“How are you feeling?” you asked taking a seat next to Steve.
Bucky grinned ad shrugged nonchalantly, “Ready.”
“I’ll be ready too, so don’t win the war without me,” Steve reached for a dinner roll, avoiding eye contact with you.
Your eyes fell to your plate and you could feel Bucky staring at you. “Yeah, well I’ll save a fight or two for you, punk.”
You knew Steve had spent the last few weeks going to every enlistment center in New York trying to get accepted into the army. You had watched him walk into the apartment everytime, shoulders deflated, but heart undefeated. Although you wanted him to stay home safe, it was important for you to be supportive. And Steve could be stubborn, no determined, when he wanted to. So even though you prayed he’d stay home, each time he left the house to try at another center, you hoped he’d get in, because you believed in him.
“So a hot date tonight, Buck?” you teased lifting the glass of wine to your lips.
“It’s my last night in the city for who knows how long, so I made a date with the prettiest girl in Brooklyn.”
“I’m sorry Buck, you can’t take Y/N out,” Steve smiled at you, reaching down to take your hand. You squeezed it tightly and beamed at Bucky, whose eyes smiled at the pair of you. “You’re out of luck, Sergeant.”
“I guess I am,” he chuckled wiping his mouth with a light green cloth napkin. He sighed contently and placed the napkin on his empty plate. “Ma’am, this was the best going away dinner a man could ever have.”
“Ma’am?” you snickered. “What has the army done to you?”
Steve stood up and started collecting the empty plates, but you placed a hand on his wrist. “I got it, Steve.”
He leaned down and pressed a kiss on your forehead before turning to his friend. “So where are you headed tonight?”
Bucky stood up from his seat and started helping you pick up the dishes. “I’m taking my date to the Stark Expo, why don’t you two come along?”
Thirty minutes later the three of you, along with Bucky’s date Edith, were walking around the Stark Expo. Your eyes widen with Bucky’s, the two of marveled over all the newfound technology, even Steve was having a hoot. He held your hand, letting you pull him along toward the exhibition Howard Stark was leading. When Stark came on stage and started talking, Steve’s eyes had wandered off to an Uncle Sam poster, pointing to an enlistment center nearby. Feeling the need and want to go try his luck once more, he pulled you by the waist into his side.
“There’s an enlistment center here,” he nodded to the sign. You smiled at his determination and kissed him on the lips.
“Good luck, soldier,” you tidied up his jacket and rubbed his cheek with a thumb, “When this is done, I’ll meet you there.”
“Sounds good, beautiful.”
You watched him fade in the crowd and wished him luck. You turned back to the exhibit and stood next to Bucky as Stark demonstrated his new invention.
“Your automobile won’t even have to touch the ground at all!”
You watched as the show ladies removed the tires from the red car and Stark pressed a button on his control pad. You gasped as the car lifted off the ground.
“Holy cow,” Bucky muttered.
“Amazing,” you sputtered out, looking over your shoulder to where the Uncle Sam sign stood. Bucky caught you looking and let out a hard sigh when he realized Steve was gone.
“He didn’t just leave you, did he?” Bucky’s jaw clenched and he pulled down on his uniform jacket.
“Buck,” you started, but he had pushed passed you and moved into the crowd. You inhaled deeply and took Edith’s hand. “Come on, let’s go get the fellas.”
By the time the two of you reached the enlistment center, Bucky and Steve were talking closely. Even from a few yards away, you could see the intensity in Steve’s face. He was telling Bucky how it was, you were sure of it. Telling him how it wasn’t fair that plenty of men were risking their lives and he was doing nothing. You were sure Bucky was trying to talk him out of it, but it would do no good. Steve was adamant on joining the fight and you knew somehow he would. Edith called out to Bucky and started to walk toward the two friends, but you grabbed her by the elbow. “Give them a minute.”
A wave of relief fell over you as the two men embraced and Bucky started walking toward Edith and you. You said goodnight to Edith and met Bucky half way.
“He’s a stubborn son of bitch,” your friend shook his head roughly, but a smile appeared on his face.
“No. He has heart, Buck,” you placed a hand on his shoulder. “Please, be careful out there.”
His smile faded and he embraced you tightly against his chest. “I will. I’ll miss you two lovebirds. Take care of him.”
You pulled away and looked him in the eye, “I should say the same to you, that man’s going to be joining you. I bet it.”
“Ah, well. Then I’ll make sure he’ll get home safely.”
“You too, okay? You get home safely.” Tears started to form in your eyes and Bucky shook his head.
“No crying, go on. Steve’s waiting for his girl,” he pressed a kiss on your forehead and took a step forward, but you called out his name.
“I almost forgot,” you rummaged through your purse and pulled out a small envelope. “Rose asked me to give this to you. She hoped you’d think of her when you’re overseas.”
Bucky’s eyes widen in joy, he took the envelope and quickly peeked inside. “Oh, wow.”
“Yeah, oh wow. Guess who had to take the photo?”
“No!” Bucky laughed, tucking the envelope into his jacket.
“Yes! So you better take care of that photo.”
He smirked and made his way to you once more, he gave you a quick hug and walked off with Edith. You made your way over to Steve, who was standing there with his hands in his pockets. He asked if you were okay and you nodded, taking his hand in yours. “I’m going to miss that kid, but not as much as I’ll miss you when you get enlisted.”
Steve’s blue eyes flickered to you. “If they eventually break down and take me.”
“They are damn fools if they don’t.”
What you didn’t know was during the argument Steve and Bucky had, an older gentlemen had witnessed the entire exchange. And not just any man. A german scientist named Dr. Abraham Erskine, who had been working on a super soldier serum. He took notice of Steve’s tenacity as he spoke about wanting to fight along with his fellow Americans. A few weeks later, he had gotten in touch with Steve to recruit him into the ‘Strategic Scientific Reserve’ program he was leading.
“Steve, what if this doesn’t work? What if it goes wrong and you die,” you bellowed out into his arms. He smoothed down your hair as the two of you sat on the blue couch, he wanted to forget the whole thing right then. But deep down, he knew he had to do it.
“I’ll be fine, I always am,” he lifted your chin making you meet his gaze.
“I don’t want you to change, I love you as you are,” you placed a hand on his face. “I fell in love with this Steve.”
“I’m the luckiest man alive for that,” Steve moved his head down to you and pressed a warm kiss on your lips. “But I have to do this.”
Wiping the tears from your eyes, you playfully pushed your husband away. “You’re lucky I don’t believe in divorce, Rogers.”
“Lucky me.”
“I’m going to be there when it happens,” you stated.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Steve smiled at you.
You smirked and pushed back into the couch, pressing a hard kiss on his lips. His hand immediately went to your waist, “I’m a very very lucky guy.”
His blue eyes beamed at you, a hand went to your face. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too, Rogers,” you pressed little kisses from his lips to neck. “Now, can we get started on making little kiddos?”
“We’ve only been married for a few years now,” he laughed running his fingers through your hair.
“But I know you’d make a great dad, I just know it,” you started to unbuckle his belt.
“Ma’am, that is my belt you're unbuckling,” Steve teased.
“Well, then I’ll just stop,” you pushed off him, trying to hide the smile on your face. Steve’s hands gripped at your waist, using all his strength to pull you back down.
“Three kids in this apartment,” Steve steadily unbuttoned your dress top. “Might be a little cramped.”
“We’ll get a bigger apartment, I could never leave this city,” you undid his shirt and revealed his thin frame.
On your wedding night, it was Steve who was a bit shy. At least at first, until you laid next to him and caressed his chest up and down. You had told him to stop the nonsense, that you had married him because you loved him and that was that. You exact words to him were, “So take me like the man I know you are.” And boy did he.
“A bigger apartment than, two girls and one boy,” he murmured under your touch.
You hummed in response and straddled his hips. “Sarah, Ana and Joseph James.”
“Really?” Steve chuckled in disbelief.
“After our mothers, your father and of course Bucky,” you slipped the blue dress over your head and tossed it to the floor. Steve marveled at your body, it left him breathless every time.
“Have I told you how perfect you are?”
You moved down onto Steve’s body, your hair fell over his face. He lifted his fingers to your face and sighed in content. It never failed. Whenever your eyes set on him, Steve felt like the strongest man alive.
“Tell me again.”
“How about I show you?” Steve’s voice came out with strong confidence, making you melt. You moved off him and stood up from the couch, he watched with hungry eyes as you slipped off your silky pink bra. You turned to walk toward the bedroom and shimmied off your matching underskirt, leaving yourself completely bare. Looking over your shoulders, you winked at the panting man on the couch. “Coming?”
“Lucky man, I’m a lucky man,” Steve muttered under his breath as he jumped off the couch and rushed to the bedroom.
You laid on the bed as Steve walked in, his blue eyes flickered to your nude body. He fidget with the zipper of his slacks, pushed them off. You sighed softly, anticipation built up inside you. His fingers guided his white boxers off and his knees made indents on the mattress as he made his way to you. His body hoovered over yours, you felt his hardness against your bent knee. You murmured his name, sending chills down his spine. He pressed a kiss on your neck, working his way to your lips. A hand went to your face, another moved down between your legs. He adjusted himself against you, Steve gazed down at you for permission. You breath out a yes, pressed a hand on his back. He took his time, delicately pushed his way into you. He stilled when he was all in and brushed hair from your face. He asked if you were okay and you pulled him down to you, giving your answer. He grinned sweetly and the two of you started to move together.
This was your favorite part of being with Steve Rogers, he was gentle, loving and always gave his all. And it was always enough, each time. Everytime. Your head dropped into the feathered pillow, you called out his name over and over. His fingers touched every inch of your skin, making you pant like someone who had just ran 25 blocks right through Hell’s Kitchen. His touch entranced you, brought out the vulnerability you hardly showed. You whimpered under him, rising and falling until it was all too much. You begged him to never leave you, tightening your leg around his waist. Steve whispered sweet words into your ear, telling you he’d never leave you. You were his everything, his light. His only home.
The two of you danced together all night long, until it was too much for Steve. It ended with your bodies entangled and sheets on the ground.. He dipped his head into the crook of your neck and slid his hand into your hair. He gently massaged your scalp and listened to the lulling of your breathing, until the two of you fell into a deep relaxed sleep.
Steve stood in front of the iron gate of the cemetery, this time without your purple tulips. A few yards away, he saw Bucky standing next to Nat. To the right, a bulldozer and a few work men. Steve inhaled deeply and made the short walk over to your burial site. Bucky caught Steve walking up from the corner of his eye and turned to face his friend.
“They were just about to-”
“I know,” Steve sighed, giving a nod to Natasha. She nudged him lightly and walked over to one of the workers.
“What if she’s not in there,” Bucky questioned.
“And what if she is?” Steve replied, crossing his arms against his chest.
“Which would you prefer?”
Steve met Bucky’s eyes, thinking long and hard. He wasn’t sure. Apart of him wanted the casket to be empty, so he could have that hope of seeing your face again. The other part of him wanted you to be inside it, because he couldn’t bare the thought of you somewhere alive possibly suffering.
“I don’t know, Bucky,” Steve confessed, running a hand over his face.
“Boys,” Natasha called out to them, it was time.
Bucky patted Steve on the shoulder and the two men walked over to the dug up grave. Steve’s heart pounded rapidly as two of the workers moved down into the pit. One of them looked up to Steve, who nodded for them to continue. He held his breath as the men lifted up the maghony wood coffin lid. Steve noticed the perfectly white lining right away and immediately thought how much you would have hated it. You despised anything that was plain white. If he had been there to chose the color of the lining, he would have gone with a light pale blue or even a soft pink. He knew he was focusing on the wrong thing, but his eyes were afraid to look anywhere else, until he felt a hand on his back. He looked to Bucky, who had a soft smile on his face.
“It’s empty, Steve. She’s out there somewhere.”
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@midtownsciencenerd @moose-on-the-l00se @fizzylollipop12 @nothinglikea-northerngirl @wthchanel @hownottodie101 @gallifreyansass @katalina-from-hellbound @netflixa @dark-paradise-y @scotlandasshole @supperawesomeperson @dreamwhisper87 @if-i-was-heard
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#A Blind Path Home#Steve Rogers x Reader#Pre serum! Steve x reader#pre serum steve#steve rogers#captain america x reader#captain america#steve grant rogers#marvel#bucky barnes#natasha romanoff#mcu#steve rogers fanfic#captain america fanfic
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