#like my favorite colors are still purple and blue and black
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lees-chaotic-brain · 2 days ago
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CHEESY I LOVE GAM THEY'RE SO GOOD WHEN THEY'RE PERFECTLY RIPE. once you discover the secrets you MUST send them to me. i also love the color lilac too!! and you're actually the sweetest person ever surprising your bestie!!
last song: in the end by lincoln park
favorite color: black/seafoam green/deep bright blue purple but a very specific shade
last book i finished: educated by tara westover
last tv show i watched: while you were sleeping and suspicious partner (they're both k-dramas i'm obsessed)
sweet/spicy/savory: it really depends on the day/my mood
relationship status: in a relationship (not to self-promote but i have a boyfriend blog now @lees-chaotic-boyfriend)
last thing i googled: effect of salinity on contractile vacuole activity (if anyone can answer this question it would be greatly appreciated i'm failing my bio course and google did not help)
current obsession: telling people about the one month backpacking trip in alaska i have planned for the summer. it's always been my dream to hike the appalachian trail (i still plan to, but it's a HUGE time commitment) or something of the sort so i'm super excited!!
looking forward to: gymnastics season starting, meeting up with my bestie (i'm going to see her next week for the first time in five months!!)
no pressure tags: @irisintheafterglow @kimkaelyn @writingcroissant @thelov3lybookworm @ponderingmoonlight
@berryzxx @romantichomicide95 @fieldofdaisiies @moonlightazriel @azrielslittleslut
@m-ilkiee @crescentmoontsuki @book-girl4evaaa + whoever would like to join!!
10 people i’d like to get to know better
tagged by @bubonicbabybell <3
Last song: meat is murder by the smiths
favorite color: orange 🍊
last book i finished: bliss montage
last tv show i watched: supernatural (s12)
sweet/spicy/savory: savory? i honestly dont have a preference
relationship status: single
last thing i googled: stardew valley wiki 💀
current obsession: dead poets society + the sims 4
looking forward to: halloween! and nanowrimo
tagging > @laceyc0bwebs @thelifeofagirl @chiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (i have no other mutuals and am lowkey scared to tag people i follow so sorry this is supposed to be 10)
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vampire-nyx · 2 years ago
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Honestly I’m really happy for people (transmascs in mind but everyone applicable is included) that really hated pink as a kid and then grew to love it as an adult because they embraced their idea of femininity and actually really liked the color, just avoided it due to it’s societal connotations
however, I do find it a little weird and offputting that among certain people, this narrative is growing of “haha, transmascs will always come back to loving pink and being fem” even including the implication that if you don’t, it’s Solely internalized misogyny and you must be still going through a phase. That logic just seems.. familiar to me if you see what I mean
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starry-bi-sky · 6 months ago
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catch me looking up nightingale symbolisms for tales of the passerine. if danny's using the name of a songbird for a hero name, regardless of familial connections, i will utilize the symbolism tied to the bird. Anyways general gist of the nightingale symbolism i've seen, other than what wikipedia told me, is that nightingales were frequently symbolisms of spring renewal, loss/death, love, etc. catch me about to incorporate music into Danny's character
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#tales of the passerine au#musician danny ftw. as someone who loves music i am more than happy to make this boy a frequent singer. this au is still baby#i can squeeze singer/musician danny in pr easily.#some favorite lines i saw while looking for symbolisms is that nightingales in roman culture were associated with venus and were also said#to provide comfort in the hours of darkness. eh eh? i saw a summary that in chinese folklore they were seen as symbols of hope#it didn't specify which dynasty but it did say it was a famous tale. cite also mentioned that in John Keats' “Ode to a Nightingale”#the bird’s enchanting song transports the poet to a world of transcendent beauty providing a temporary escape from the suffering and imperm#anyways looks like nightingales in gist symbolize comfort in dark times among other things#while robins in gist symbolize renewal. celebration of life. good luck. rebirth.#nightingale's color scheme in my mind is very much a dark purple-blue and black. maybe some gray too.#he'll probably try and ditch the black and white just out of paranoia. argh i need to come up with a suit design nooooo. superhero suit#design is my weakkkest design skill. have to balance between practical and a unique silhouette thats in line with their character.#esp since danny's not using his ghost half to be nightingale -- way too risky. also not using his powers/using them very little.#maybe i can work in an ocarina batman reference lmaoo. i can lean into comic/cartoon realism and have fun with that. as a treat
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kerosene-saint · 10 months ago
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what mutual am i (made by me cause I thought it would be fun) ASK GAME
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[Picture ID: A drawing with 12 circles all different colors and labeled different things, bullet points follow under them.
the first circle is a deep purple with light purple glitter particles. It's labeled "purple glitter" and the bullet points under it say: "fabulous", "I love your aesthetic very much", "you do have an abnormal amount of microplastics in your blood though".
the second circle is a neon green with a lighter green wave around it. it's labeled radioactive. the bullet points for it are "some sort of creature", "you give bioluminessence vibes".
the third circle is a medium pink with dark green leave and a stem on the top. it's labeled starberry. the bullet points are "I think we should bake together", "flower crowns possibly".
the fourth circle is a light seafoam green labeled seafoam green. the bullet points are "maybe a little snobby", "calm yourself", "I don't know why I still follow you tbh", "Maybe I'm just reading you wrong".
the fith circle is multiple colors, in order from top to bottom: very light blue, sky blue, yellow, red, black, purple, pink, to light pink. it's labeled do you like the color of the sky. the bullet points are "you're always on tumblr", "hits post limit daily", "you should go watch some tumblr history videos if you haven't already".
circle number six is a brick pattern labeled throwing bricks. the bullet points are "you're my resource for all of the things happening in the world", "probably really punk or at least an Anarchist".
circle number seven is a red panda's facial fur pattern labeled red panda. the bullet points are "so soft", "very small", "you're so cute", "my favorite silly".
circle eight is a light off white color labeled cu- I mean creme. the bullet points are "Hey there", "I mean you wanted to-", "slash jay".
circle nine is a deep gold color with a light shine to it labeled stay gold. the bullet points are "book reader", "how do you read so many", "pretty cool", "also a nerd".
the tenth circle is a medium purple with a light purple heart in the center. it's labeled my favorite purple. the bullet points are "you're my favorite person on this hellsite", "why are you here, you're so nice", "are you a people pleaser".
the eleventh circle is a bright pink with pastel pink stars labeled barbie dream house. the bullet points are "nostalgia.", "do you live in the past I swear you do", "are those rose tinted glasses comfortable bub".
the final circle is a black color with a red blood splotch. it's labeled Gerard Way in the 2000s. the bullet points are "popular mutual", "I think you're pretty neat and also kind of scary", "probably really sweet but I'm still intimidated". /.End ID]
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caseuoiseau · 4 months ago
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We can surmise from this poll that the population is approximately 8% Goths Who Absolutely Cannot Give Up the Bit, and I respect their commitment.
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dark-moonlust · 3 months ago
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Caught Between the Fae
This is a Patreon commission I finished yesterday. The commissioner chose to remain anonymous. I hope you enjoy this small story! It was so enjoyable to write and it's super steamy, too! I love every part of it 🖤
Pairing: 2 fae males (Nestor, Quin) x f!human (Layla)
Summary: Layla is a photographer in her mid-30s. During her exhibition event, two fae males, Nestor and Quinn, are drawn to one of her paintings and her beauty. They recognize her as their mate and quarrel over who will get Layla and her artwork. Finally, they decide to share her as she belongs to them both. They claim her as their mate and go into a mating rage, driving deep inside her and marking her with their cum.
Warnings: minors don’t interact, 18+!!, fingering, oral(female+male receiving), kinky talk, a little bondage, big 🍆, fae magic to fit, p in v sex, anal, double penetratiοn, lots of 💦.
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Tonight was her big night. 
Layla took yet another deep breath and strolled through the art gallery. Her heart thundered with excitement and a little fear. That night, her photography was the star of the show. All her pieces were there for all to see and judge. She truly hoped the people would admire and grasp the feelings and meanings behind each photo. Her work was her pride and joy.
As she walked the sleek gallery, the room was a whirl of positive reviews and the clinking of champagne glasses. The people liked her work! Feeling her anxiety lessen, she smiled, soaking in the energy as she mingled with the guests. She let herself enjoy the vibes, her soft curvy frame moving gracefully through the crowd, her fiery red hair catching the light, making her green eyes gleam with pride. 
Taking a short break, she stood near the center of the room and tried to calm her raging heart. The gallery was a big hit and a dream come true! She still couldn’t believe it. She wanted to jump and laugh out of joy. As she scanned the faces of the audience, her gaze stopped on two striking men in front of her favorite piece: a photo of a moonlit beach at night. They were boldly gazing at her piece and then her way. 
A jolt traveled through her. Their gazes practically saw through her. 
Tall and towering, they were both, with pointy ears and supernatural auras exuding such intense power that caused her whole body to come alive and warm up as if licked by fire.
They were fae... what otherwordly beauty.
The one on the left had close-cropped blonde hair, deep purple eyes, and although he wore a sleek black suit, she could see his neck and hands, which were filled with tattoos that surely filled the rest of his body. The other male beside him was all dark and sensual mischief. He had long, curly, dark hair and ice-blue eyes that sparkled with a devil-may-care attitude.
They were attracting the eyes of everyone in the room; their presence electrifying.
From across the room, Nestor, the King of the Court of Nightmares, stood in front of Layla’s photo, his deep purple eyes drawn to every detail of the mounted piece. The gallery lights cast the perfect light, illuminating the moonlight beach. His fingers tightened around his glass as he swirled the dark liquid inside. Beside him, Quinn admired the same photo, his ice-blue eyes attracted to the art and the artist herself. He was the Emperor of the Court of Chaos. 
“Stunning,” Nestor murmured in a low mumble, scanning the room, his gaze finding Layla and staying on her. “They shall be mine. Both the piece and the artist.”
Quinn chuckled, his eyes equally intent on the female. “You wish. You don’t have what it takes to appreciate them both.”
“And you do?” Nestor’s voice was higher than usual, turning heads. “Thinking too high of yourself, aren’t you?”
“This art piece belongs in my court, and little fireheart in my bed.”
“Fireheart…” Nestor whispered, his eyes tracing the fire-colored hair of his mate, the soft and curvy frame he hungered to have exposed beneath him. “I’ll never let you have them. She’s my fated one and the Queen of the Court of Nightmares.”
Quinn’s laugh was light and mocking. “I’ll bid whatever the hell you want. She’s my mate, the Empress of Chaos Court. She will be mine.”
“You? I don’t think so. I want her and that piece, and I’ll have them,” Nestor stated, his voice hard with authority. “You’d better wet your dick elsewhere.”
Quinn’s lips curled at his words. “I’ll wet my dick inside her, in every warm little place inside her.” The Emperor of Chaos stared at his mate, their gazes meeting and holding. She was gorgeous. In every way. Her red hair cascaded in soft waves over her shoulders, and her green eyes sparkled with passion. He wanted her. He’d never back down. 
“She is mine.” Nestor’s eyes flicked to the other fae. “The moment I saw her, I knew she was my fated one.”
“And you think I didn’t feel the same?” Quinn spat back, with a hint of annoyance. Long moments passed before he added, “Perhaps there’s a reason we both recognize her so strongly.”
Nestor narrowed his eyes at him. “What are you implying?”
“Fate doesn’t make mistakes,” Quinn answered. “She belongs to both of us.”
“This makes sense…” Nestor trailed off, clearly considering the proposal. 
Quinn chuckled warmly. “Finally, we agree on something. So, what do we do about it?”
“We claim her. Every part of her.”
It was that moment when Layla decided to approach them. She closed in on them, and they immediately framed her luscious body with their possessive, towering bodies on both sides. Layla felt hot all over, her frame shivering from the intensity of their aura and their mere height. The dynamic between the two fae made her belly clench with arousal and for a few seconds she felt such an intense magnetic pull towards them that she could barely contain it.
“Gentlemen… I am Layla, the artist behind these photographs. I’m honored by your interest, and I couldn’t help but notice your tension… is there a problem?”
“Good evening, Layla,” Nestor greeted with a sultry drawl. “I am Nestor, King of the Court of Nightmares. Your work is extraordinary, I must have it.”
Quinn grinned and stepped closer to her, his ice-blue eyes twinkling with amusement. “I am Quinn, Emperor of the Court of Chaos. Our problem is that we both desire this piece of art, though not as much as we desire you.”
Nestor shifted closer to her right side, his scent enveloping her. “You should visit my court, Layla, and be the crown jewel of my kingdom. Choose me, fireheart.”
“Fireheart?” Layla muttered, a little taken by the nickname and the intensity in his eyes. 
Quinn hummed and let his towering form nearly envelop her left side. “We feel a connection to you, little one. A bond that cannot be ignored.”
Layla didn’t know whether to laugh or blush at their bold statements. The gallery suddenly buzzed with whispers and speculations as all eyes turned toward the three of them. Both fae males had surrounded her, and her cheeks felt hot, as did the rest of her body. Her pussy was also wet, aching with a need she couldn’t barely ignore. They weren’t just interested in her art—they wanted her. 
She took a deep breath, her heart pounding.
How could she refuse the King of Nightmares and Emperor of Chos without offending them?
“Gentlemen,” she finally said, her voice wavering, “I’m afraid the artist—meaning myself—is not available for such… arrangement. However, the art piece is. I am sure we can find a way to resolve this without—”
“Without what?” Nestor’s eyes darkened. “Without accepting the connection you are feeling?"
Layla opened her mouth to reply, but Quinn cut her off. “Don’t deny it, fireheart. You feel it too. The mating bond, the desire.”
Layla bit her lip and unconsciously rubbed her thighs together. Liquid warmth pooled in her core. “I… I don’t think this is appropriate.”
“Yet your pussy is wet and aching for us,” Quinn whispered against her ear, his breath warm. “And it’s not going away unless we take care of you.”
“Accept us, little mate,” Nestor said, sending shivers down her spine. “We can feel your need. You want us. Both.“
“I—I…” Layla stuttered wordlessly, her eyes flicking between the two fae. She felt such longing and undeniable attraction for them. But how could she just give in?
“You are ours, fireheart. Ours to claim in ways neither of us could do alone,” Quinn nodded, his ice-blue eyes intense.
“B-b-both of you…” Layla muttered, her body tightening pleasurably at the mere thought of those two fae belonging to her. 
“Hmm,” both men growled, their eyes caressing her face and red hair. 
Layla nodded slowly, listening to her heart which was screaming for them. Immediately, Fae magic surrounded her, stealing her breath away. The gallery blurred and melted away, replaced by a lavish bedroom filled with rich fabrics and flickering candles. Nestor and Quinn embraced her from both sides, their hands exploring her heated body. 
Nestor scented her neck, his fingers tangling in her loose hair as if he couldn’t have enough of her. Quinn kissed her shoulders over the straps of her dress, each lingering touch leaving trails of delightful warmth and heat. When their gazes locked on hers, she felt hypnotized by the mating bond between them. It was real; they belonged to her, and she ached with need, desperate to be touched by them. 
“Yes, fireheart,” Quinn rasped, sliding down the straps of her dress. “You are our mate, and you will be filled by us both.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Nestor said, unzipping the back of her dress, his fingers warm against her skin. “Do you agree, sweetheart? Do you want this?”
“Hmmm… I want you,” Layla breathed, adrenaline pumping in her heart. 
Quinn’s hand cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing over her lower lip. “Good girl,” he murmured, his icy eyes bearing into her emerald ones. They were enchanting, hypnotizing. “Now, let us show you what it means to be ours.”
Layla didn’t realize how quickly they scooped her up and propped her on the plush bed. They divested her of her clothing skillfully. Quinn peeled away her dress while Nestor unclasped her bra, moaning low as her breasts spilled free. He cupped them in his big palms and pushed them up to his hot mouth, suckling each pouting nipple. Quinn knelt at her half-closed thighs and gently removed her panties and shoes. Seeing how she hesitated once she was fully exposed to them, Quinn’s long fingers trailed down her belly, then lower, teasing the sensitive skin between her thighs.
“Open for us, little one,” Quinn said, his voice a seductive promise. “We’re going to fuck you deep, make you feel so good.”
Layla shyly opened her legs and suddenly both men were between them, each one securing a leg over their muscular thighs, their hands making sure she was fully open to their eyes. Using their magic, they removed their clothes, leaving her to gape at the two fae males, so big and powerful—in every way. 
Nestor had a sculpted body covered in tattoos. His eyes were warm and inviting, his stomach taut, his thighs firm and in between... his cock stood proud, looking utterly inhumane. It was thick and very long, pulsing, its length surrounded by protruding veins. Quinn was no less captivating. He was just as tall, his stance emphasizing the force of his thighs and the raw power of his well-muscled body. His eyes swirled with blue ice as he pumped his rigid cock. It was deliciously curved and textured with ridges, a little thicker than Nestor’s but not as long. 
Having both of them… Layla felt the dark desire, the intensity overflowing. The need. The craving. She wanted them. Wanted them more than anything in her life. 
“Fuuuuck, our mate’s even more beautiful than I imagined,” Nestor growled. She looked so pretty and tiny in contrast to their raging bodies. Flushed face, nipples out, pussy exposed. He wanted to debauch her. 
“Show us your pretty cunt, fireheart,” Quinn demanded softly. “Open those pretty lips nicely for your mates.”
Dazed by desire, Layla reached down and did as told. She opened her outer folds with two fingers, showing off her slit and the bud of her clit. Both men growled ferociously and stared for a few seconds. 
“That’s it,” Nestor growled, bending to lick a thick stripe up her pussy. “So wet already for your mates.”
Layla gasped, all sane thoughts fleeing. 
Quinn also leaned down to taste her pussy, kissing her throbbing clit. She saw stars. 
“She is ready for her mates,” Quinn said with a smirk. “You’re going to take every inch of us, aren’t you, fireheart?”
Layla whimpered, her voice and body trembling. “Yes… Please…”
The two males smiled. 
Nestor toyed with her pussy lips and Quinn rubbed her needy clit. Layla whimpered and struggled to arch off the bed. She squirmed restlessly, but their hold on her thighs was too secure, allowing no movement as their fingers probed and rubbed her pussy to their liking. She melted under their touch, her heart pulsing with the intensity of their bond.
“Such a sweet wet cunt," Quinn marveled, gathering her slick and rolling it between two fingers.
“Love your nipples, sweetheart,” Nestor drawled, moving to suckle one tit then the other, his tongue swirling around the hardened buds. 
“Pl… ease,” she sighed, her body feverish with need. “Need you. Need you so much it hurts!”
"Hurts?“ Quinn said in a mischievous tone as he rubbed her clit round and round while thrusting a thick finger inside her. Layla cried out and Nestor claimed her lips, swallowing her moans. 
“Hurts so good, hm, sweetheart?” Nestor drawled as their lips brushed, their tongues mating. 
“Yesss, please, more please… hmnnn...”
No sooner had she said that than Quinn was tasting her mouth, kissing her possessively and deeply. His tongue licked into her mouth then his tongue danced with hers. 
“What do you need, fireheart?”
Oh, how she adored the way they called her nicknames. She wanted to be theirs forever and get lost in their warmth and affection. 
“Want you so much. I’m so empty…”
“Our mate needs to be filled,” Nestor said to the other fae. “But first she will cum for us.”
Quinn agreed in a low chuckle and finger-fucked her while Nestor pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing over and over. Driving her higher and higher until she exploded, bliss and pleasure overtaking her until she couldn’t think or talk. Layla quivered and while she rode her orgasm, Nestor suckled her lower lip. Quinn moved to her breasts, his mouth nursing her aching nipples. Captive in their hold, she arched into their touch, drawn-out moans escaping her.
She was still dizzy from her orgasm when they shifted. Nestor sneaked between her thighs, slapping his heavy cock against her glistening pussy. The sound was wet and squelching, her pussy fluttering with the need to be filled. Quinn kneeled next to her head, his cock pulsing in the air, the tip leaking precum. Layla licked her lips, hungry to taste him. 
“Open,” Quinn commanded softly, “wet my dick, mate.”
Layla obeyed, her lips parting to take him in. Smiling mischievously, Quinn thrust his hips gently, his leaking cock stretching her mouth wide and filling it up. At the same time, Nestor entered her pussy, his girth spreading her cunt and filling her up inch by delectable inch. 
“Mhppphhh!” Layla gasped and gurgled around the cock in her mouth, her pussy filled to the limit by Nestor. Quinn gripped her fiery hair, guiding her head to keep sucking him. She was so full… Quinn’s shaft kissed her throat while Nestor’s cock kissed her cervix. 
“That’s it… fuck, you’re perfect,” Nestor groaned, watching her pussy suck him in. 
“Is it good, fireheart? Being fucked from both ends?” Quinn pulled his cock out of her mouth with a wet pop, his cock coated in her saliva. 
“Hmnn! Want more!”
With a proud moan, Quinn shoved his cock back into her hot mouth, going deeper and fucking down her throat. Nestor watched the lewd sight with pride. Their pretty mate struggled a little, but she took Quinn’s cock like the queen she was, hollowing her cheeks and clenching her pretty throat. She stroked his balls, cradling them in her small hands, her eyes rolling back with each thrust from both of them. 
Groaning, Nestor pounded deep into her cunt, making her pretty tits bounce with each sharp thrust. He kneaded her mounds, his thumbs pinching her nipples, causing her to gag and whimper around a mouthful of cock, her breathing heavy. Gods, she was so pretty like this, trapped between them, their cocks spearing her back and forth. 
A few calculated thrusts, and she came explosively, her body shuddering. Once she rode the waves of pleasure, the fae changed positions again, with Nestor fucking her mouth and Quinn taking her pussy. The dual sensations were overwhelming, liquid pleasure coursing through her veins as they filled her relentlessly. The room echoed with the rhythmic slaps of skin against skin and her muffled moans as she took fae cock. 
“Such a good mate for us,” Quinn said with pride. Her lips were swollen, her pussy drenched with her release. “Now it’s time to take our seed, hm?”
“Hmp, yes… want your cum,” Layla said in a seductive purr. 
“Are you ready, sweetheart?” Nestor drawled. “Ready to take us both in your soaked cunt and tight little ass?“
“Hmm, gonna take you both,” Layla nodded, seeing the pride and desire on their handsome faces. “Need to feel you inside me.”
In a flurry of motion, they repositioned themselves so that Layla was straddling Nestor, her raw breasts rubbing against his muscled chest. Quinn kneeled behind her, his strong hands spreading her asscheeks, his thumbs teasing around the tight, puckered hole. Such a cute little hole. Layla whimpered when Nestor gripped her hips and guided her down onto his throbbing dick while Quinn thrust a magically lubed finger into her ass. 
Layla groaned, desperation and desire in her green eyes. 
Quinn kissed her spine. “Relax your pretty asshole and take my fingers, fireheart.”
Layla clutched Nestor’s shoulders and tried to relax while Quinn squeezed a second oiled finger into her ass, the thick intrusions making her gasp and shut her eyes tightly. The combination of Nestor filling her pussy and Quinn’s fingers in her ass was strange. She felt exposed, vulnerable, and utterly at their mercy. 
“So damn tight," Nestor muttered against her moaning lips, his shaft buried in the heat of her cunt. 
Quinn added a third finger in her ass, pumped, and curled them inside her before replacing them with the head of his cock. The broad head spread her tight hole, forcing its way inside. Layla trembled at the dual invasion— they were so deep, stretching her wide around their inhuman girths. She glanced down at where they were joined, and with shock, she realized just how much more they had to go. Only a third of their shafts were inside her, and that both thrilled and scared her. 
Nestor’s voice broke through her haze. “You can do this, sweetheart.”
“You’re so big…” Layla whined. She was human, could she really take them both? 
“Deep breaths, mate,” Quinn advised gently. “Take a little more of us, hmm?” 
“Feels strange…” Layla looked at them for guidance, her cheeks flushed, her eyes worried. She could feel their dicks rubbing inside her, and she took deep breaths that were mixed with cries of pain and pleasure. 
“Let’s stroke your little clit,” Nestor murmured, his thumb stroking her bud, sending pulses of warmth all over her body. “Yesss, that feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Hmm! Moree!”
“Such a good little mate,” Nestor cooed and proved his point by pulling out of her wet cunt then slamming more inches inside.
“Our mate needed a cock up her cunt and ass so badly,” Quinn growled as he worked deeper into her ass. 
“You will take us, mate. Again and again until you reek of our cum. Our magic protects you. Relax your holes,” Quinn ordered in her ear. 
Blindsided by the fullness of their penetration, Layla said yes in a series of raspy moans. Their fae magic infused her fully, empowering her and building her arousal. Before long, she’d taken the full lengths of their cocks. The fullness, the heat, the stretch— she was overwhelmed but in no pain. She curled between their powerful bodies, and when they started fucking her in earnest, she cried out, her nails digging into their flesh. 
“Look at you,” Nestor growled, his purple eyes dark with lust. “So beautiful riding our dicks.”
“You’re perfect like this, fireheart,” Quinn whispered, his hands fondling her asscheeks. “So tight, so hot.”
Hands grabbed and fondled her as they pounded her, their cocks owning her depths. When Nestor’s cock left her pussy, Quinn plunged into her ass. Layla tried to get more friction only to have their strong hands restrain her. Nestor grasped her tits while Quinn secured her wrists with magical silken ropes, carefully tying her arms behind her back. The silk felt like a caress, soft and slightly loose.
She didn’t complain; she only trembled between them, her watery eyes begging them to claim her. 
“If this is too much for you, fireheart, say “red” and we will stop. I promise you. Understood?”
“Yesss,” Layla nodded fervently. “Now… just fuck me.”
“Easy, sweetheart,” Nestor said, his hands gripping her thighs. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
Layla was too far gone to think straight. “C-can’t! Want more!” 
“It’s the mating bond. She is human, and it’s affecting her. Our magic is also making everything stronger,” Nestor explained to the other fae. 
“Such a needy little mate,” Quinn rasped and pressed a harsh kiss to her mouth. “Bound and begging for us.”
Nestor grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. “You think you can handle us, huh? Think you can keep up with us?”
“Hmn… I can handle it,” Layla panted as they impaled her on their stiff cocks. 
Nestor chuckled from under her, his fingers pinching her nipples. “Is that so? Well, let’s see how long you can keep that attitude.” 
The two males exchanged glances before they resumed pounding into her. Nestor lifted her a few inches, then lowered her back down onto his cock. Quinn thrust his hips, fucking her ass in full thrusts that reached deep into her guts. They were both too thick, too hard, and too long, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. 
It went on and on; their stamina seemed endless, their cocks so impossibly hard and swollen with the need to cum. The scent of desire hung heavily in the air and she came again with uncontrollable, shuddering contractions, her holes clenching hard around their massive girths. The males followed right after her, their muscled bodies shuddering, roars ringing out as she felt something burst inside her. Massive wings sprouted from their backs as their seed filled her up, loads and loads of it, forcing little aftershocks of ecstasy. 
But they were far from done. 
They switched places, Nestor claiming her now stretched asshole while Quinn filled up her pussy. Their wings curled around her as they slammed inside her, and Layla lost herself in the mating bond, quaking between them, her arms securely bound, her holes fluttering around their shafts. She could only whimper and utter their names, begging them to stop, then begging them to never stop and make her cum.
“Remember your safe word, mate,” Quinn reminded her roughly. “If it’s too much say "red" and we will stop.”
“Would you like us to stop fucking your naughty holes?” Nestor’s fingers curled around her nape, his hips snapping repeatedly into hers. 
“Nnn—nooo!” Layla whined, her body tense as she balanced on the edge of pleasure. 
Quinn growled his approval. “That’s good, fireheart, because we’re not going to.”
The bed creaked, obscene moans echoing with every move they made. Her fae mates fucked her powerfully, thrusting to the hilt again and again, deep and tirelessly. Quinn devoured her lips with his kisses, his hands cupping her tits and pinching her sore nipples. Nestor growled from behind her, his broad chest pressing against her back as he claimed her ass and flicked her clit with his thumb. 
They were primal and fully affected by the need to claim her, and she loved it—she loved them and how they fucked her, it was unlike anything she had imagined.
Layla’s moans rang out when she came again, sobs of pleasure escaping her kiss-swollen mouth. She trembled as a pleasure bomb went off in her center. It was too much, but it was divine, every nerve was alight. They joined her soon after, pulsing up inside her and releasing spurt after spurt of their cum. She was already filled with them, but the second load overflowed from her, dribbling down her thighs. 
Layla didn’t know for how long it went on. 
They untied the silk ropes and took her again and again, lifting her off the bed, sandwiching her between their aroused bodies and feeding her their cocks in every position imaginable. Their wings flapped powerfully, and when Layla touched them, her mates went into a mating rage, driving deep inside her, claiming her, owning her. 
As the sun began to rise, their frenzied mating finally came to an end. 
They collapsed on the bed, the covers tattered and smeared with signs of their primitive coupling. Layla’s mates enveloped her, spooning her from front to back, their bodies entwined with hers, their cocks still hard inside her due to the suction of her cunt and ass. She was sated and exhausted, feeling a sense of belonging she had never known before. 
They took turns kissing her, softly, lovingly, whispering sweet nothings while gazing at her with an impossibly soft, oh-so-soft expression on their faces. Their seed had marked her as theirs; the mate of the Nightmare and Chaos Courts.
“Who do you belong to, little mate?” Nestor asked, kissing the side of her neck.
“You,” Layla breathed. “Both of you.”
Nestor growled and gazed at her possessively. She belonged wholly to them. And they to her. She was filled to the brim with their seed, her holes stretched taut around their shafts. It was the ultimate claiming. "So beautiful. You did so well, fireheart.”
“Stunning.” Quinn brushed a few sweaty hair strands from her face and kissed her fluttering eyelashes. “You were so good for us, mate. Our beautiful Queen and Empress.”
“Yes,” Nestor agreed proudly. “We shall unite our courts and give our mate everything.”
“Hmmm,” Quinn hummed against her chest, his voice a sultry whisper against her lips. “Do you like being filled by your King and Emperor, fireheart?” 
“Yes,” Layla answered, her heart brimming with affection for them. “I love it. I love you both.”
Nestor hummed from behind her, kissing her softly. “We love you more. You’re ours, sweetheart. Forever.”
That night, they’d claimed more than a masterpiece. 
They’d claimed their soulmate. 
456 notes · View notes
hearts4golbach · 4 months ago
Note
heyy could you write to Johnnie Guilbert x female reader where the reader paints his tattoos with a marker?
(idk if this is a good idea but I saw his new tattoo and thought how much fun it would be to paint)
Stained Skin.
pairing:
Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.
a/n:
this is so cuteeee I love writing blurbs like this. I was also thinking that whenever I saw his new tattoo omgggg
proofread
warnings:
tooth rotting fluff???
word count:
0.5k
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you traced Johnnies tattoos, admiring them as he laid next to you watching tv. an idea popped into your head, so you broke the comfortable silence. "Do you still have all of my markers over here?"
he hummed sleepily. "they should be in the drawer." he nodded his head towards his desk.
you ran your thumb over his cheek gently. "Can i color in your tattoos?" you asked with a smile.
he looked down at you, confused as to where the odd request came from. "Yeah, of course."
you crawled out of bed and gathered your markers. you helped him slip his shirt off. "Which ones do you wanna color?"
you hummed, "Let me color in your back first."
he pecked your lips gently before flipping over. you began to color in the roof of the house. you colored them a deep forest green. you rubbed your thumb on his back as you rested your other hand. "it kind of tickled." Johnnie laughed. you loved seeing his smile.
you giggled, "Don't worry, babe, it's going to look great."
johnnies tattoos were one of your favorite aspects of him. you loved how he portrayed his interests through what's he got done. you switched to a light blue to color in the windows. you placed the cap back on the marker. "Turn around, i'll work on that one later. can i color your neck?"
"Yeah," he gripped your waist as you crawled into his lap. you moved his hair as he tilted his head to the side you wanted. you grabbed a deep red for the wings of the bat. he giggled. "i'm too ticklish for this,"
you paused  to kiss his cheek. you took a deep gray and began to color the fur of the bat. "we should get matching tattoos." you mention. you smiled to yourself. " You should get my name tattooed."
"fuck it, i will." he ran his fingers through your hair.
"yeah, right." you replied sarcastically. you finished coloring in the bat and sat up. you looked over his arms as you picked which tattoo you wanted to color next. you changed your mind, choosing the goosebumps tattoo on his shoulder.
you colored it in a dark green and made the eyes red and purple. "mkay, I'm done. flip over for me, baby."
you hummed quietly to yourself as you continued coloring in his back tattoo. you began to color in the walls of the house a dark purple, adding streaks of black to make it look more worn down.
you placed a soft kiss on Johnnies shoulder. "okay, all done." you put up your markers.
"can you take a picture of my back for me, love?" he asked, sitting up.
you picked up Johnnies phone and snapped a photo of his back and the other tattoos you colored in.
"they're so cute." you commented.
he kissed your cheek and proceeded the posy the photos on his story. he captioned it 'She made me a coloring book @Y/nL/n.'
318 notes · View notes
mountkennedie · 2 months ago
Text
Late Nights
Edward Cullen x reader
Summary: you have a cozy night with edward
warnings: none
A.N. this quickly became one of my favorite fics ever written
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"Edward?" You asked. Currently you splayed out horizontally on your bed on a cool fall day. The sweater you were wearing provided you an extra dose of comfort to the general energy of the room. Edward, your boyfriend, was laid parallel to you. His dark blue sweater matched yours. The color coordinating plaid fleece pajamas were also a nice touch on the pair of you. It was something cute you've always wanted to do, couple twinning. And Edward was willing to do whatever to make you happy.
"Yes?" He maintained a easy going smile while looking at you. You had been rereading A Wrinkle In Time. An easy read of course, but always put your mind at peace. Edward didn't have a book to read or really anything to pass time. He says he is perfectly content in your company, but you still wonder what he would be doing had you not been here. Probably pressing those same piano keys in infinite rhythms until disturbed.
"What is your favorite color?" A very innocent question. But what is the harm in that? The both of you have shared some crushing memories and experiences, you may as well know the mundane as well.
His smile grew and his eyebrows knitted. "Blue. Why do you ask?" He didn't have a genuine serious undertone behind the question. He was always trying to learn the way you were. Being unable to read your mind made you a puzzle he reveled in attempting to crack. Every time he would expect you to act in a certain way, you gave him a surprise in return.
"I was curious," you turn on your side and face him. Edward being Edward, he mirrors you. "You seem like a lover of blue. But I could also see a deep green. Like forest green," your voice was kept quiet. The wind looting the leaves can still be heard as you speak. You didn't need to speak so soft, your family was away for the night. You could scream for all that mattered, however keeping a small vocal presence felt appropriate. Anything louder than a calm word would be disturbing the peace of the environment.
His face pinched up for a moment, but then returned to his normal expression. "I fell out of love for green a long while ago. Blue is so rarely seen here, at least in the sky," he finished that quip with a cheesy smile. "Blue being rare has given itself a new place of importance," his eyes glanced down to your sweater then back into you, "in my heart."
Your bodies both hanged off different ends of the bed, luckily your heads were in the same placement. So when you lifted your hand to rest on his cheek, it wasn't a far reach. Your thumb brushed the cool skin, Edwards eyes never left yours for a moment. The golden iris' were filled with adoration. His hand came to rest on yours. The chill adding to the comfort he was already bestowing.
"What do you think mine is?" You whispered.
"Purple, for sure," he answered without even thinking. And of course he was right.
"Asking Alice counts as cheating," he leaned into your hand and chuckled. The kiss he left on the palm made you smile a little harder than you already had been.
"I didn't cheat," he spoke into your hand. "Everywhere we go shopping, your eyes are drawn to the same three colors. Green, black and purple, with a special affinity for purple. Oh and you wear a lot of purple in the pictures of you on your family's mantle."
"Am I that easy to read?" He pressed another kiss to your palm. He shook his head lightly at your comment.
"If only," he joked. After his joke the wind picked up outside, this time accompanied by a steady flow of rain. You sat up and looked at him, he copied you once again.
"If you ran home fast enough, how wet would you be? Would you even get wet?" He listened to your questions while helping fix your hair that had flattened due to laying down.
"Well I would get wet regardless. Probably not too bad but definitely damp." He finished his work and pulled you close to him so your entire body faced him. "And is this your way of kicking me out?" He chuckled again at his smart remark.
"It is very thoughtful that you worry on the safety of a hundred year old vampire." He placed a kiss to your eyelid, "I'd be sure not to run too fast. And I am fully comfortable staying in for the night. But," his voice matched your previous tone, "you must sleep tonight. I want 8 full hours."
"No you are staying." You threw your arms over his shoulders, your faces a few inches apart. "I don't want you outside, especially running in this weather. The roads are slippery," your tone changed to one more serious.
"I was going to sleep!" you argued. "...once I finished the next chapter of my book," you hoped the small smile you sent him would win him over.
"Of the book you've reread numerous times?" You didn't respond, only looked at him and shrugged. "Fine," he always gave in to you. "At least let me read it to you."
You smiled and got comfortable under your covers. You pulled back your comforter for him to join you underneath. He smiled and shook his head. But still wanting to do whatever makes you happy, climbed in. You clung onto his arm, he responded by kissing your head. You were convinced he read the book in a soft, quiet voice on purpose. Because no matter how strong your will to finish the chapter, you still were whisked away into sleep.
219 notes · View notes
honeekyuu · 4 months ago
Text
squeeze. [sakusa kiyoomi x reader]
two. the devil.
previous. || masterlist. || next.
a/n. this au has me on my knees.
[playlists]. satin black || brews abridged || vibes
warnings: SAKUSA MOTHERFUCKING KIYOOMI.
✗ !!! minors do not interact !!! ✗
✗ !!! ignore timestamps !!! ✗
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“Just come on-”
“Dude,” Hinata coughs, waving his hand in front of his face. “I can’t see shit.”
You roll your eyes, dragging him into Satin Black by the wrist. Cigarette smoke clouds your vision and stings at your eyes, but the dark glow of the tattoo shop makes it impossible to see, anyway. You’d started to get used to it over the last few weeks, but it’s still an assault on your senses every time. You blink it away, squinting into the hazy room.
The tattoo artists – the polite-looking one and the angry guard dog one – are standing at one of the mirrors. Akaashi Keiji and Iwaizumi Hajime, based on your interactions on Twitter today. You stop at the counter, watching them and barely noticing when Hinata stumbles into you from behind.
Akaashi’s shirtless in the mirror, a cigarette dangling between his lips and his eyes squinting down at the art on his own body, as though he’s examining intensely for imperfections. His jeans are slung low on his hips – you see that the dark trail of hair under his navel is flanked on both sides by symmetrical hip tattoos, the black ink stark on his pale skin. 
Iwaizumi is behind him, head bent and cigarette shedding ashes onto the floor as he digs a tattoo gun into Akaashi’s spine. He’s wearing an old muscle shirt with cigarette holes in it, tattooed biceps flexing every few seconds as he works and his frown deep with concentration. There’s a large outline on Akaashi’s back, the lines purple and thin and spanning the entirety of his upper back and curling over the tops of his shoulders. Half of it is filled in, pale blues and greens splashed over his left shoulder blade and Iwaizumi’s gun pressing a cyan color into his spine. Akaashi looks to be in absolutely no pain, his gaze empty as he mumbles something plainly to the other artist. Iwaizumi lifts his head and plucks the cigarette from his own mouth, another cloud of smoke filling the room as he stares down at Akaashi’s back and grumbles a response. 
The interaction is entirely inaudible, the grating guitar of “Crazy Bitch” screaming in your ears. Hinata has both ears plugged with his fingers, and he leans in close to yell to you.
“This is that one Buckcherry song you like!”
It catches both tattoo artists’ attention, and you have no idea how they’d heard your friend.
Cyan eyes find yours in the mirror – cyan like the ink being drilled into his back – and Iwaizumi’s angry gaze is whipping around to you and Hinata at the counter, the cigarette flickering with light and then shedding between his fingers.
“The fuck do you know about Buckcherry?” he barks, and you’re amazed you’d caught it. Hinata jumps beside you, and you feel him shuffle closer.
“Nothing! Uh-Sir?”
Iwaizumi finds that funny, it seems. His eyebrows lift, and you hear him snort quietly as he gives Hinata the once-over, but your eyes are trapped by Akaashi’s. 
The polite-looking one, who doesn’t look so polite now that you really look at him. 
He stares back emptily for a moment, and then – when he sees that you won’t break eye contact first – he smirks, the cigarette looking dainty in a smile that dangerous. 
“Suna,” he says quietly, and you wonder if there’s some black magic in the shop that makes hearing possible through the music. “Your favorite customer’s here.”
You only realize that the curtain across the room is closed when it flies open. Suna emerges on a rolling chair, shirtless with black sunglasses sitting on his nose. You wonder wryly if he knows it’s already dark in the shop without them. 
He’s clearly with a client, because he’s got black latex gloves on and a pair of forceps his right hand, but when he sees you, you get the feeling he couldn’t care less.
“I was wondering when I’d see you, sweetheart.” His smile is wicked, and you wonder, not for the first time, if he’s as harmless and stupid as he seems online.
He sets the clamp down and stands from the chair just as the song is changing, and that black magic idea becomes that much more convincing – haunting vocals ring in the shop, layered under a bass-y beat and quick rap, and the way Suna strips his hands of that black latex while smiling at you feels oddly like you’re being lured in by a siren that knows exactly what it’s doing.
His head twitches in Hinata’s direction, and you watch two tattooed fingers lift the glasses off his face as he stares down at your friend with lifted brows.
“You old enough to be in here?” he says with a smirk as he approaches. Hinata only leans toward you again, his arm hooking with yours.
“Is that the piercer?” he asks in a whisper. Suna’s face splits in a shit-eating grin, his double lip piercings spreading under the light when he presses his hips against the counter.
“Yeah. That’s the piercer,” the man says, his voice low and close. And then he flicks his gaze to you, and green eyes pin you to your spot. “Finally gonna let me pierce you, baby?”
You swallow and shake your head, clearing it. “I’m here about-”
“About the music,” he says, head tilted to look down at you. “I know. What’s wrong – you don’t like Saliva? It’s one of his favorites.”
You furrow your brows, frowning up at him. “Who?”
There’s silence, and then Suna’s grin is widening, face twisting into something terrible and manic.
“Oh,” he breathes, excitement making him lean ever closer. “You haven’t met him yet."
Oh.
Suna pulls out his phone and types out a quick message – you watch the black outline of a heart that sits on his thumb fly across the screen, and you remember to steel yourself despite the nerves. You’d come here for a reason.
Suna’s eyes find yours again. “I fixed that for you.”
“Fixed what-”
The door directly across the shop from you is wrenched open, and your gaze goes right over Suna’s shoulder. The man that comes out of that room walks in time with the echoing, ethereal vocals ringing throughout the shop.
Black Docs blend into black jeans, ripped at the knees and following lean legs that go on for miles. A black t-shirt that’s form-fitting and snug around tattooed biceps, every inch of those arms covered an ink, down to fingernails stained with black polish. Septum and industrial piercings glint under the single overhead light as he passes under it, and two ink black moles peek out from under the ink black hair that hangs over two ink black eyes.
Jesus Christ.
He’s in front of you before you can put together that you’ve been staring up into his eyes for too long.
“Can I help you?” His voice isn’t welcoming, it’s deep and rough and irritated. You wonder when the devil made hell so hot.
“Uh-” You swallow, and Hinata’s elbow digs into your side, urging you. “The music-”
The devil sneers, and your brain whispers a quiet ‘thank you’ in response. “You’re really interrupting my piercer for this? He’s with a client.”
You blink. You remember the devil has a name. He’s just a man, and you’d be damned before you fold for him.
I’d rather he fold me in-
“Maybe your piercer should be professional and not forget he has a client, then. He wouldn’t be standing here right now.”
You see Akaashi and Iwaizumi turn over their shoulders to stare. They’d gone back to tattooing Akaashi’s back, but the gun switches off now, Iwaizumi’s eyebrows high on his forehead as he stares in amusement. Akaashi crosses his arms, watching with a quiet, unnerving smirk. 
The devil–Sakusa Kiyoomi– leans down, planting his hands on the counter and leveling you with a glare that makes you shiver. “Is that all you can come up with?”
You drop your gaze, able to match anyone else’s but not his. Not his. 
Your eyes land on his marked fingers, and you notice a piercing on his right hand that slices through his middle finger, between the second and third knuckles. Suna has the same one, now that you’re looking.
“‘s cute,” you mumble, nodding your head toward it. You lift your eyes to Sakusa’s, slapping a disinterested smile on your face. “Boyfriends?”
He stares back evenly, unfazed. “Brothers.”
You need this man like you need air.
“Do you need something,” he starts, voice cutting through every thought flying around your head. “Or are you just here to waste my time?”
The haze of him crashes down over you, and you remind yourself who you’re talking to. 
It works. 
“If my wine glasses start shattering, you can expect a bill from me,” you say, crossing your arms in irritation. He only lifts his brows, looking at you like you’re stupid.
“How about you just move your wine glasses away from the wall?”
You bristle, leaning forward and planting your hands on the counter, too. Hinata’s hand slips from your arm, and he gasps quietly, whispering your name. You don’t hear it, too busy getting in Sakusa’s face.
He looks briefly surprised to see you come so close, and his eyes flick down to your mouth before finding your gaze again. You smile politely, knowing he’ll see it for the insult it is.
“How about you just turn your music down?”
He smiles back, leaning closer, and you swear you can smell his shampoo. 
“How about you just fuck off?”
You blink, eyes going wide. He’d said it with saccharine, but it stings across your skin like a slap to the face. You furrow your brows, hatred burning in you, but he’s sliding his eyes to the man beside you, looking at Hinata for the first time.
He gives the ginger a once-over, and then he slides his gaze back to yours, slow and purposeful and magnifying the whisper he lets out, breath fanning over your mouth.
“And get your little brother out of my fucking shop.”
He’s gone before you’re ready to let him leave, the door to his office slamming so hard that the windows behind you rattle.
You stare at it blankly, listening to Suna’s low whistle and Akaashi’s mocking snicker. Iwaizumi just shakes his head, visible in your periphery, and the tattoo gun starts up again. The song changes. Hinata tugs on your elbow, the words ‘let’s just go back’ said low in your ear.
You’re going to ruin him.
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taglist = [open]
@mollyrolls @nectardaddy @onlytendoguesses @scinclaitnoir @marsoverthestars
@bookskeepers @choerry-picking @siheez @introvertsince2003 @eggyrocks
@atrashsith @beckixwsm @kakeru-eem @atsumusc0ck @seroh
@reignsaway @a-little-pebbl @bakingcuriosity @dondoncool @corvid007
@asthmaticcchoeee @liliumaraneae @savemebrazilhinata @whydoyoucare866
@dailyakira @atomickidpeanut @sandwhitches @dailyakira @moucheslove
@softpia @strawbebbielu  @erinwillxoxo @myhyunniebun @kokoblep
@thiisisntlovely  @viscoolreal  @m3lonss 
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she put my hand up on her throat and told me // squeeze that shiiii-
squeeze [ghostemane].
283 notes · View notes
thementalshawty · 6 months ago
Text
PAC The Aura You Give Off
HAYLOWWWWWWW welcome back lol I’m here with a quick PAC cos we’re almost there to 2000 followers oooop our tarot event is near!!! So to celebrate my 1985 followers huh isn’t that a Taylor Swift album? 🤔 anyways I’m here to let you guys know and see what kind of vibes you give off. I feel A lot of you like anime! I was pulled to anime images for this PAC and you guys know I do emojis. I also feel Red, Blue,Teal, & Purple are inportant to some of you or are actually the color of some of your auras they can be your favorite colors too maybe that’s how you should choose your pile? Some of you I heard!! Anyways let’s get this going you know this is a GENERAL reading take what resonated and the let the rest ROLL off it’s for someone else!!! Okay bitches let’s fuccin GOOOOOOOOOOO
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Pile I
Yo this is deep and intense, I feel that’s the vibe you give off. You give off a death and resurrection vibes, the beginning and end the alpha and omegas I feel like there is plutonic energy about you guys, very scorpionic vibes. Some of you like black or are night owls. I get tortured soul vibes from you, very grungy. But so upbeat positive, unique, rare and goofy it’s like a goth singing 1000 miles by Vanessa Carlton I’m getting those vibes, pink and black vibes. You guys have been through so much shit! You guys give off defeated but thugging through with a smile vibe, happy go lucky. Sunshine on a rainy day I heard. You guys are a cloudy day but it’s still sunny. Very uranian energy too, you guys stand out and I feel you guys suffer for it. Very fun and outspoken. Outgoing! Risk takers and that’s gotten you guys into some deep trouble but you rose out of it! You guys give off soldier through war ptsd fighting for a happy ending vibes some of you have fake it til you make it vibes. Some of you. People see that you’re a warrior who’s been defeated but you’re not afraid of starting over from 0. The baddest period. Some of you may have sun in Gemini ♊️ which means happy birthdays gem babies!!! You’re unique be you and don’t worry about the pain you are the happy go lucky baby you will be ok!! You’re very strong you’ve died and came back so many times the transformations you’ve went through are endless.
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Pile II
Ooof! So this pile gives off selfish bitchery vibes, you guys seem so motherly, maternal, paternal, parental, loving. Very caring and sweet but I think you give off insincere vibes like you have to give something to get something from you. I also feel people feel like some of you are players or that you’re heartbreakers, you’re very helpful I feel but people may be reluctant to take your help? Some of you may be Taurus moons?? You like money, luxury, having things, people can assume you’re bougie or stuck up!! You are very careful with who you help, again this is why people may assume the worst about you. You guys are very grounded and earthlyd. I feel like you guys have a lot and you worked for that shit! A lot of you are self made and I heard jealous! They are very fucking jealous of you! Your whole vibe and energy shit what you got too! Even if you don’t physically or materially have a lot. They want what you got, you just have it! youre the it boys/girls/its/thems! You got a lot of haters ! People try to make you guys out to be “better than them”. Idgaf that’s cos you are! You’re regal 👸🏽 🤴🏽 👑. They can’t take you and I feel like you guys defend yourself! You guys are hella motivational too you wanna see your people succeed & make it. You’re a cheerleader cos you clawed your way and fought tooth and nail I heard to make it happen for you and I am all happy for you guys I’m rooting for y’all to keep going fuck the haters and the ones that have negative thoughts Ik know getting the vibe of this guarded energy that people are mistaking for selfishness and that’s on them. Some of your guides are talking and they have attitude and I’m here for it! They don’t play about you and I think it’s cos they know what you had to go through to have what you have so protect that shit with everything regardless of how little or how much you think you have. You have a lot! I love this vibe p2. You are tight as fucc. I love you! Stay true and even if you’re bougie stay having high standards! Stay classy
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Pile III
So this pile is a little sad, you guys give sad boy/girl/them vibes. It seems like you guys are very sentimental but you give off the vibe of being stuck in nostalgia if that makes sense. You can be the ones that still wear 90’s style clothes or listen to that music. lol I’m hearing still trying to make fetch work so maybe some of you like mean girls. Gretchen wieners I think her name was right? anyways you guys give off that vibe of being trapped when you’re not really trapped. You guys get into your head a lot! Some of you maybe Scorpio suns and Gemini Jupiters it can even be vice versa. I’m seeing that you’re over-thinkers and when you start thinking bout old times you can travel way back into your memories. Jupiter has to do with expansion and Gemini is mercurial mental energy so I feel like with that you guys are the biggest over-thinkers of this reading! You guys can stretch a thought for miles long! I feel like you’re hella intelligent too! You’re intense and you’re giving, romantic, sweet. You make everyone feel like they’ve met you somewhere before. You give have familiarity vibes. It’s just so easy with you I feel you can make others feel at ease and hella comfortable with you. Your aura and vibe is homely very warm like similar to p2 but more humbling. You’re generous. Kind. I feel like your aura is kind of trapped in a happy dream vibes. I heard happyland? I feel you guys are emotionally invested in your happy memories and good times. I feel in a past life you were trapped in some way. I also think you give off the vibe of being trapped so maybe some of you jail? I’m thinking that a lot of you think you’re deeper shit than you are, a lot of you feel like you’re trapped and you’re truly not. You just have to be grateful for those memories and create more, maybe you’re afraid to leave that happy space but there is a world beyond those happy memories! You’ll be surrounded by so much more happiness creating present love and happiness for yourself!
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Pile IV
Okay! So I’m seeing that some of you may be some Aries sun and mercury Virgos. My roasters of this entire reading! You know how to read a bitch down hunny! I’m seeing that you are a wholesome and fulfilled person, who doesn’t rush, you know the value of working hard and waiting for your fruits to grow and ripen. Very family oriented. You know who you are and what you want which is why you don’t rush shit, you know that what’s for you is going to be yours regardless. I feel like this pile here is very humble and confident at the same time! You have a deep balance about you, very passionate yet grounded so you’re not all over the place, it’s controlled. Your circle is little and means the world to you. You are a legacy or you’ll leave behind a legacy honestly! Powerful and passionate energy. I also feel like you know how to manifest this pile gives me magician vibes, you know how to create physical and material things from energy. You’re a great friend; a great hang and a wonderful time. You are amazing and magical, you’re wealth, a lot of you may have wealth or are destined for it, material wealth. You are in charge, you are the boss if there’s a CEO you’re the boss of them; you know what you want and you accept only that nothing less than the best for you. I’m so glad that you have that self love! You’re a leader meant to rule, you give off big boss captain energy. You are meant to have lots of people following your rules or journey maybe admirers? Followers maybe online? I get this vibe that you’re that fighter who never stops punching even when they’re on the ground, you’ve never lost a battle. You’re a champion!
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WELP! That’s it guys that’s all! I’m so happy that I can share this cool reading with you guys! Should I do more personal readings like this! I hope that it resonated with you guys and for my patreon group please get your questions in before may ends thank you!
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lau219 · 1 month ago
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For My Eyes Only
•• Tommy Shelby x Reader ••
Lingerie mood boards and headcanon requested by the lovely @runnning-outof-time
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• Although Tommy’s wardrobe (and everything else he owns) consists of nothing but black, grays, and the rare navy blue, you’re quite different. While his look is always somber, your look is always inviting, a mirroring of your personality, which is a lovely contrast to the vibe he gives off.
• It’s not extremely bright, flashy colors you choose, however, but deep, rich hues that portray elegance and sophistication. You always look nearly regal, down to the complimentary shade of your lipstick and nail polish.
• While one would assume Tommy’s preference on you would be black, he actually has a fondness for color whenever it’s on you. This extends to your everyday undergarments and lingerie, as well.
• Of course, Tommy absolutely loves seeing you in lingerie, and although you buy a bit on your own, he buys you something himself about once a month. It’s a decent mix of singular pieces (teddies, slips) and multi-piece sets (bra and panties, bra and panties with garter belt). At this point, you have quite the extensive collection of sensual garments, which of course, are only for Tommy to see you in.
• His absolute favorite colors on you are deep, emerald greens, rich, plum purples, and saturated, seductive reds. Tommy finds the richness of these colors and the vibrant contrast of the deep, jewel tones against your soft, fair skin an incredibly beautiful, tempting vision. It’s like paint against porcelain, and it’s his favorite sight.
• An addition of a touch of black is always a killer look, however, be it with a black lace edging or frills on the lingerie itself, or the accessory of some semi-sheer black thigh-high stockings with a lacy top hem. Add a pair of black heels, and you may as well start digging Tommy’s grave.
• Upon seeing you in lingerie, he will always behave in one of two ways, however, and you know what that will be, based on who chose your pieces. If you put on something he bought for you, Tommy will have no problem telling you exactly what he’s thinking. He’ll say you look absolutely stunning (which you do), and that he chose it because he knew instantly how incredible you would look in it. He’ll then tell you that you’re gorgeously sexy and downright irresistible, and will want to take his time enjoying the visual of you in the piece(s) before then equally enjoying removing it from you with a similar look of hungry desire. He unwraps you like a gift. He looks at you with such adoration and want, and he loves having you straddle him as he lays back in bed, looking up at you like a work of art.
• If you bought the piece(s), however, and surprise him, Tommy initially acts as if he’s disinterested and unaffected at the sight of you. It’s a harmless control thing, where his thought process is, “How dare you catch me off guard and rile me up when I wasn’t expecting it?” Of course, he secretly loves it, but it’s just that he always expects to be in control. You’ll saunter into the bedroom in what you’ve chosen or reveal yourself from beneath your robe in his home office, and he’ll keep a straight face and act unaffected when he looks up when you ask him what he thinks of your new purchase.
• While he acts unaffected and pretends to barely notice, it’s actually the complete opposite, though. Any time you surprise him with your own purchase, he’s even more aroused than usual, because he knows you’re asking for it.
• He’ll make you work for his reactions, though. You have to pretty shamelessly present yourself for him, and there have been plenty of times where you’ve had to climb into his lap in bed while he’s still pretending to read the paper, or straddling him in his desk chair and he’ll still make a phone call. Your breasts can be pressed into his chest and your lips devouring his neck and he still carries on as if he hardly notices you.
• You, of course, know this little game, and you always play along, and it isn’t until you start removing his clothes and have your hands on his cock that he finally starts showing signs of noticing you. He gradually becomes more interested in what you’re doing as he watches your every move, still saying nothing.
• It’s when your hand is grasping him and your mouth is hovering over his cock that he finally comments on your lingerie. “If you’re going to dress like a little slut, then you better act like one and put that cock in your mouth.” Of course, he knows you’re only his little slut, and he truthfully respects and worships you, but when you dare to get smart like this, you both know things are going to get dirty.
• When your mouth is around his cock, Tommy finally fully gives in, and the dirty talk continues as he watches you eagerly suck him. His hands alternate between threading aggressively through your hair and tugging at the hems and straps of your lingerie, while telling you what a naughty girl you are for buying it without his permission or input.
• When it’s something Tommy bought you, he typically will spend plenty of time adoring you and warming you up with foreplay while you still have the lingerie on. But then, as said before, he will undress you from it, unwrapping you like a gift before the main event. During these times, he’ll have you fully naked for sex.
• When it’s something you bought and surprised him with, however, the foreplay is limited to the blowjob you give Tommy, and there’s no warmup for you. After you’ve gotten him nearly ready to come, he’ll shove you off of him and then take control, holding you down as he quickly finds the best way to move your lingerie out of the way for him to fuck you. When you surprise him, the lingerie stays on during sex, with Tommy tearing it aside to access your pussy and pulling it away to reveal your breasts, but still keeping it on your body. After all, a little slut like you isn’t worth wasting time on before he helps himself to you.
• When it’s lingerie you surprise him with, you can expect rough, dirty sex from Tommy. He’s gonna punish you for taking him by surprise and remind you why that’s such a bad (good) idea.
• When it’s something he bought for you, you can expect to be admired and worshipped before he makes love to you with so much tenderness and affection, making sure you know how much he adores you.
• Both scenarios lead to downright amazing sex, just in very different ways. He’s always got you near tears by the end. If you surprised him, he’ll edge you repeatedly before finally letting you come. If he bought it for you, he’ll take his time working you up to the edge, and then he’ll push you right over.
• In both scenarios, Tommy is very affectionate with aftercare. Once it’s all said and done, you’re still his angel, and regardless of whether the sex was rough or sweet, he’s gonna take care of you afterwards. Lots of spooning, loving words of what a good girl you are whispered in your ear, telling you how well you took it all and how beautiful you are.
• Either way, it always ends with an, “I love you,” from him and a kiss on the top of your head. You say it back to him as you lay on top of his chest and you both relish in the afterglow.
• Needless to say, your lingerie is something that you both thoroughly enjoy.
• Thoroughly. 😉🔥
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lightless-flame-official · 8 months ago
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gerry keay (classic flavor):
skinny. not in a way most people notice off the bat, because he's quite tall and very good at looking big, but leitner hunting burns a lot of calories and he's been chronically underfed for most of his life
eye tattoos on each of his joints, placed there by supernatural means as a protective ward against other powers
his hair always looks like shit for several reasons, including but not limited to:
- he doesn't like to dye it when his mother is around, both because of the vulnerability of the position and because he doesn't like to be Perceived by her while doing anything he actually. ya know. enjoys. this means that it has a lot of time to fade and his roots grow out.
- if she's around too often for a stretch of time, he has to find a local business he hasn't already been banned from and rinse it out in one of their sinks. this leaves it looking understandably patchy and rushed.
- the dye he uses is cheap as hell -- having his own money is an occasional luxury which cannot be taken for granted.
- he just. generally doesn't take care of himself and his hair suffers overall as a result. he doesn't shower often enough and when he does he uses precisely one (1) type of soap. and it's like. if they have irish springs bar soaps in england then it's that and if they don't then it's the closest equivalent.
he isn't actually like. goth. as we would think of it.
black clothes don't show bloodstains and they made him feel safe edgy and dangerous as a teenager.
we're talking thrift store jeans purchased when he was 16 an never replaced. maybe some band tees. boots for marching into a den of hunt avatars.
the leather jacket is also secondhand and while yes he does feel very badass and cool in it it's also a practical piece. good for fighting. especially when the people you're fighting might have claws or want to set you on fire.
sewing needle piercings with visible scarring around them.
he just generally looks. kinda sick all the time? again, not something that usually registers because he's also good at being intimidating but if you're looking for it there's all kinds of evidence of chronic sleep deprivation and malnutrition. he looks unhealthy, concerning.
gerry keay (tmagp):
goth. like, real goth. like buying from thrift stores still but more often and having fun with it now.
we're talking fishnets. we're talking eyeliner. we're talking black lipstick. we're talking absurd and impractical jewelry. we're talking dabbles in lacy skirts and definitely owns a corset. and yes he still wears a leather jacket but exclusively because it feels cool and badass. he's goth babey!
no longer skinny. precise body type is whatever your heart tells you is true but three square meals agree with him and he's gained a very noticeable amount of weight.
the hair dye is still not professional, his roots grow in occasionally and it's still a bit patchy, because he's still doing it at home, but also. he's doing it at home. it's fun, and he has fun with it. the dye is better quality. gertrude helps him with touchups. black is still a favorite but he's dabbled in other colors, dark purples and greens and blues.
loves to be covered in stuff. when he's baking, he will intentionally smear flour on his black pants and make it look accidental, and when he paints he doesn't wash his hands. this is partially so he can see the evidence himself, and partially because he wants people to notice it and ask. he wants to say, "oops, i was baking earlier, i must've wiped my hands on my pants."
he still has shitty irresponsible piercings from when he was a teenager. the more recent ones are more professional.
his tattoos are pretty and useless. he designed most of them himself.
there's color in his face. sleeping gets a little easier every night.
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lovebugism · 2 years ago
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hi hello "love you on purpose" absolutely devasted me with it's cuteness and i cannot wait for part two!!!! 💗
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✶ ┄ LOVE YOU, ON PURPOSE (ii)
part one | part two
summary: steve can't seem to stay away from the local freaks. he's more surprised to find himself falling for one of them. you have trouble believing that someone like him could want you in the first place. he wants to prove to you that he's not king steve anymore. (18k)
pairing: steve harrington / eddie's bff!reader
tags: strangers to friends to lovers, mutual pining, idiots in love, slight angst, hurt to comfort (sorta), fem!reader TW smut 18+, lots of intimacy and affection and awkwardness, p in v sex, talks of insecurities, reader has an allison reynolds-esque transformation but with a better ending (outfit inspo x, x), probable typos
a/n: welp. here it is. the final part of this 30k+ word fic. it was very fun and very painful to write and i'm very glad it's finally done and out in the world! thanks for all the love on the first part btw reading all the feedback has easily been my favorite part of writing this <3 with that being said, get comfy, get a snack, and enjoy! xoxo
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
Falling over you is the news of the day.
If yearning had a shape, you’re pretty sure it’d look an awful lot like you. 
The clumsiest of humans, fresh into her adulthood but still feeling like a child most days. Soaking wet, born yesterday. A caterpillar weaving her cocoon and trying to figure out where she fits in the world. The girl who decides she belongs right next to this big, boisterous, multi-colored butterfly she couldn’t stand a year or more ago.
And Steve Harrington, he was… Well, he was the kind of poem people spend their entire lives trying to write. 
He was the perfect mixture of beauty and warmth, of mystery and obscurity — the line where the pink of a sunset meets the purple of a starry night. He was all of this rolled up into a twenty-something-year-old boy. A fumbling butterfly that’s getting used to his new wings.
Maybe if you were talented enough, you could write the thing yourself. There’s something powerful in knowing that you could compose some dainty requiem so much bigger than yourself. A beautiful thing that would stand the test of time because there would never be anything else like it. 
It wouldn’t be because of you, though. You passed Ms. O’Donnell’s English class by the skin of your teeth, so your writing leaves much to be desired. It would be your muse that would enamor the masses come the next several centuries, because there will never, ever be another Steve Harrington.
At the very core of this poem would read a universal truth: I have fallen in love with his enigmatic being, and now I’m dealing with the consequences.
Well, you’re trying to deal with them, at least. You’re not having a very easy go at it.
Most of the time, you feel like a thousand bricks have piled on top of you. The jagged edges scrape up your arms and press varying shades of purple into your skin. They crush you underneath their weight, but you don’t try too hard to climb out from under them. You couldn’t even if you wanted to.
You feel a little stuck underneath all the feelings you have for Steve. 
You’re not quite sure what to do with them all. They’re too heavy to lift; there’s too much of them to crawl out. It all leaves you feeling a bit trapped. 
It’s a good kind of trapped, though. 
Once the hurt passes, the weight starts to feel like you’re being swaddled in a blanket. Or a cocoon. 
As scared as it makes you, as overwhelmed as you feel, you don’t want this puppy-like adoration to end.
But sometimes, the scrapes sting more than they usually do. The scabs split and start to weep. The faded bruises turn purple again, then to blue and black, and they ache all over. They remind you that girls like you don’t end up with guys like Steve, and the harsh realization turns the comforting weight of being in love into feeling like you’re being buried alive.
Steve is a pretty boy. He’s a rich, prettyboy who wears vintage jeans and drives a new Beemer and has never wanted for anything in his life.
And you’re… whatever the total opposite of that is.
You wear whatever’s cheapest at the thrift store or what Eddie lets you steal from his closet. You drive a rust bucket that belonged to your dad until he lost his license, so the thing practically rotted in the backyard until you got yours. And all you’ve ever done is want for things because you’ve never had anything.
And the one thing you want the most is something you’ve never been able to admit to anyone. Not even Eddie. Not even yourself. 
Screw new clothes or a car fresh off the lot. You don’t want popularity — you don’t even want money (though it certainly wouldn’t hurt). You want so desperately to be loved that it makes your bones ache.
All you want is someone to hold your wrists and kiss your palms, to cradle you when the thunder is too loud and the cracks of lightning make you shake, to be a hiding place where you can keep every secret and be certain it stays safe.
You want someone to smile at you the way Steve smiles at you. You want to feel held the way he makes you feel held — without ever touching you. You want to feel wanted the way he makes you feel wanted.
You want Steve. 
And you’re not sure how long silly love songs will substitute your yearning.
“What do you think about Steve?” you ask Eddie out of the blue.
He was in the middle of a rant about his latest campaign, but you hadn’t heard a single word of it if you’re honest. The butterflies in your stomach were too loud.
The boy sits across the room at his desk, back hunched, while he scribbles ideas into his tattered Dungeons and Dragons composition journal. You’re sprawled out in the middle of his bed like you have been for the past hour, making constellations of Steve’s face from the marks on his ceiling.
“I think he’s an asshole,” Eddie answers without missing a beat.
It makes you roll your eyes. You shouldn’t have expected anything less out of him, really. You toy with the frayed hem of your crop top and rephrase. “Okay, but do you think he likes me?”
“I know he likes you,” he scoffs. “That’s the problem.”
You smile widely to yourself, then purse your lips to the side to keep it hidden. There’s no one looking to see you grinning like an idiot, but it doesn’t make you feel any less like one.
“He wants to take me on a date tonight,” you confess out loud for the first time.
It wasn’t like you to keep something like that from Eddie. Or anything. At all. But you found yourself hiding it like some kind of dark secret. A distant part of you was terrified that it was all in your head, but it’s been three days since Steve asked you now. Which means you’ve spent three days pinching yourself.
You haven’t woken up yet.
“Like, a date date,” you clarify and rise on your elbows to study the boy across the room. 
You feel the need to explain yourself because movie nights and rides around town and hanging out in the break room after closing don’t feel nearly as serious as Steve wining and dining you. It feels much more official now, as though the line between liking someone and like-liking them has been drawn.
“And I’ve never been on a date date before—”
“What about the one time you went out with, uh…” Eddie trails off as he aggressively erases something on his paper. He stills and squints over his shoulder at you. “What was his name? Matt? Marcus?”
“Mason,” you correct and try not to shudder at the memory. “And I left him at the restaurant because he asked me how big my boobs were within the first ten minutes, so he doesn’t count.”
A grin pulls at the boy’s face. He chuckles to himself. “Oh, yeah.”
“And I know I shouldn’t be so nervous about it ‘cause it’s just a dumb date, like… We’ve been alone together a billion times now, you know? It’s just…” you ramble in one breath, then trail off with a huff. You flop back onto the mattress rather dramatically. “Steve Harrington doesn’t date girls like me. He dates girls like Nancy Wheeler. And, as far as I’m concerned, they were a matching made in fucking heaven— I mean, I didn’t know them back then or anything—”
“Obviously,” Eddie murmurs. “That was a train wreck.”
“—But they looked fucking perfect together, Eds!”
The image of them walking the hallways of Hawkins High isn’t hard to picture. You can still see Nancy in her pretty pleated skirt and pink manicured nails and Steve with his stupid hair and brand new Ray-Bans. They owned the school like their parents owned Hawkins — it was practically kismet. 
You try to picture him and you together, and it doesn’t come as effortlessly. 
It’s like trying to wedge pieces from opposites puzzles together; it just doesn’t work. 
And it’s different from anyone Steve’s ever dated. It’s different from anyone you’ve ever dated. People look at him and his pretty girlfriend and gush, “oh, wow, they look good together.” People look at you and a guy with smudged eyeliner and heeled boots and whisper in disgust, “oh god, they deserve each other.”
You won’t get any of the kindness that Steve is used to, only stares from strangers as they try hopelessly to figure out whether or not you’re dating — because surely, he wouldn’t stoop low enough to date someone like you.
“And I don’t wanna…” you waver, trying and failing to put your fears into words. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just scared.”
Eddie shakes his head to himself. “You don’t need to be scared, okay?” he mumbles, his attention still turned down to his notebook.
“Oh, thanks, Eds. I’m cured,” you monotone.
“I just mean that—” he cuts himself off with a deep sigh and swivels in his chair to face you completely. “Steve’s a douchebag, alright? But he’s a good douchebag.”
Your brows furrow. “…What?”
“He used to be an asshole and everything, but… I don’t know, I guess he turned out to be a pretty good guy— and if you tell him I told you that, I will kill you,” Eddie explains in one breath. The half-hearted threat spills from his mouth,and he goes suddenly soft. “He’s not gonna hurt you, okay? I promise. I mean, the guy’s practically a fucking teddy bear.”
A smile pulls slow at your lips. 
It’s the nicest thing you’ve ever heard him say about Steve, despite having been friends with him for nearly a year now. The foreign kindness comforts you well enough. If Eddie didn’t think Steve was every bit the good douchebag he says he is, there’s no way he’d let you go anywhere near him.
“Yeah?” you mutter.
“Yeah,” he echoes with a huff, obviously upset about having to admit such a truth. Then he shrugs. “And if he does hurt you, I’ll beat him up. Which, with his track record, I’m guessing it wouldn’t be too difficult.”
A laugh tumbles from your mouth. “Thanks for looking out, Eds.”
He only grumbles in response.
And even though he complains the entire time, he drops you back off at your place and helps you agonize over what to wear. He sits on your bathroom counter to keep you company while you shower, then holds your makeup bag in his lap while you get ready. He only comments once about how differently you’re doing it.
Then the boy lounges on your bed, legs crossed and back propped on the headboard while you rifle through your closet. In true Eddie Munson fashion, he’s got something to say about everything you pick out.
Your white sweater is too tight, he tells you, and the fuzzy texture feels too weird. The plaid skirt you pull from the depths of your closet is too “christmas-y” and “totally not your color.” He tells you he likes your boots better as he helps you with the finicky buckle of your Mary Janes, then snaps the band of your knee-highs when he stands again.
Eddie tells you all of this because it’s easier to tease you than to say what he really thinks — that it feels like you’re in high school again and trying out styles that don’t suit you.
He loved you the way you were, in black and leather and silver chains and fishnets, because he knew that’s what you felt good in. You found your identity in your unconventional style and you sparkled in it.
And you were still pretty like this, dressed in brighter colors and looking like the girls that used to bully you in high school, but it’s so obviously not you. More than anything, it irks him that you’re doing all of this for Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington.
But Eddie knows that you’re nervous — he can tell by the way you’re talking a thousand miles a minute and checking your appearance in the mirror every couple seconds like something might’ve changed. He also knows that you’re still skeptical about this whole thing. Because you have no idea that Steve looks at you like the whole world could crumble around him, and he wouldn’t even blink.
You don’t know that you have nothing to worry about.
So Eddie figures he’ll wait to make fun of you. Save all his teasing remarks for when you’re gushing about the date the next day.
But you’re already aware of all this — how different you look. You hardly recognize yourself when you look in the mirror. You’ve traded in your shades of black for something brighter. Your blowsy hair is clipped back out of your face. Your makeup is more conventional and modest than you’re used to.
You look less like the freak you usually are and more like a wild thing that’s been tamed.
You feel pretty. 
Or, at the very least, the idea that Steve will think you’re pretty makes you feel pretty.
It makes all the imposter syndrome worth it. 
You stand in front of the full-length mirror and tug the scratchy socks up and over your knee when they start to slip down. You rise once more, giving yourself another once over, then nod in approval — pleased with the costume you’ve put on.
A fleeting through with a mean, green, bleeding heart and a mind of its own scratches bitterly at the confines of your skull.
Eat your heart out, Nancy Wheeler.
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
The ghost in you, she don't fade.
Steve, riddled with chronic feelings of inadequacy, overcooks the chicken and spritzes too much cologne on himself.
He had always been the kind of boy that loved things a little harder than he should’ve. 
Ask any plant he’s ever owned that he accidentally killed with every leaf he overwatered, frightened that anything less would be neglectful. He was always so scared of them dying that he suffocated them until they wilted anyway.
He thought he might’ve grown out of all that until he realized he did the same thing with Nancy. 
He squeezed her too tight and she squirmed at his smothering, called him bullshit and pushed him away so she could breathe again, then stomped on his heart until she was certain it stopped beating for her.
And therein lies the state of limbo Steve Harrington has lived in all his life — between loving something too much and not enough. He hasn’t yet found that balance that stops plants from dying and people from running away.
He isn’t quite sure how to be anything other than the man he is now. 
His conscious clings to your every move. He thinks about when he’s awake, and when he isn’t, he hopes he’ll be lucky enough to dream about you. He bothers you at work all day, then asks if you want to go for a ride when you’re off because he hates being away from you. The nights get too cold when you stray too far. And even though he’s never been much of a chef, he offers to cook for you because he wants to show you he cares enough to try.
Steve’s the kind of guy that overcooks his chicken because he’s terrified that you’ll get sick if it’s not done enough. He’s the kind of guy that douses himself in cologne, then breaks the bottle because he’s terrified of not smelling good enough. He wants everything to be enough for you. 
Steve Harrington, for once in his life, wants to be enough for somebody. 
But now all he is, is a stupid boy that never learns, who smells like he’s trying to overcompensate for being a terrible, terrible chef. 
When Nancy broke his heart, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to be this person again. Steve was scared he’d become someone he didn’t recognize — someone who didn’t care enough to water plants because, hey, they’re gonna die anyway, right? Because he gave and gave and gave, and had nothing to show for it but a stupid wilting flower.
Steve made a dark room of his broken heart. A boogeyman lived there, too. It made him scared that he’d never be able to love someone like he loved Nancy.
But then you came out of nowhere — this beautiful, loud, and mysterious thing that exudes every color of the rainbow when she laughs, despite her blacker-than-black wardrobe. You smile at him like you’ve never been hurt, like a sun that’s never known the night. It makes him feel like he can be that too.
The two of you seek a similar solace in one another. You fill each other’s voids without effort and without trying, like puzzle pieces or halves of an orange.
Steve met you and he realized that he didn’t get his ability to love from Nancy. He had always been a lover, a boy who could love something deeply, and that didn’t go away when she broke his heart.
And sometimes it was awful. It was painful and frightening more than it was anything else — love. It was doubtful and envious and distant. 
Love makes you selfish and creepy and uncharacteristically overbearing. Love makes you worry about your hair and overcook your chicken and drench yourself in cologne. Love takes a hell of a lot of hope, and that’s what he feels like when he’s with you — hopeful. Like he’s never been hurt before.
A surge of optimism and apprehension hits him like a bolt of purple lightning just behind his ribcage when the doorbell rings. Mostly because he knows you’re waiting on the other side of it. His hands shake when he opens the door, but not because he’s scared. He’s just full of hope and buzzing with its foreign intensity.
Steve finds the rest of his life standing on his front porch, dressed in all the trappings of his past.
You’re smiling wide when you see him, the same whizzing ball of hope that he is now, and clutching a bottle of wine. You’ve traded your usual grocery store alcohol for something bottom shelf from an actual liquor store. The sunshine grin you’re wearing is about the only thing familiar about you now.
With your hair pulled back, brows combed neatly to match the pretty makeup you’ve spotted gingerly on your features, dressed in foreign colors with knee-high socks and kitten heels — you look nothing like yourself. It’s a costume you’ve got on, still so pretty but pretending in some way.
It has Steve startled for a moment, thinking Halloween came a whole six months earlier and he never got the memo. Then he realizes you must’ve gotten all dressed up for him, even though you never had to. Just like he didn’t have to try and play chef to impress you.
Both of you are just stupid idiots who care too much, making it painfully obvious despite your best efforts to keep it hidden.
“Hi,” you grin sheepishly through a foreign, pale pink, and glossy mouth.
Steve’s too busy gaping at you to respond in a timely fashion.
The wind billows through your hair and sends strands of it flying in your face. And even though he can’t remember a time when you’ve ever worried about the wild halo on your head, you’re quick to tuck them back into place again. 
With most of it pulled back and combed with obvious intent, your face is left unhidden. Your neck and shoulders and collarbones are too. And you’ve got on this tight sweater and pretty skirt and tall socks that make your legs look longer. All of your usually concealed features are heightened. 
The dainty swipes of mascara, eyeshadow, and blush only accentuate them further, though your spots are attentively covered with foundation that isn’t exactly your shade. It’s a bit lighter than your skin tone, like you’d gotten it some time ago when you were still a bit paler.
You look less like the loud, plucky girl he’s come to know and someone more timid, delicate, and polished.
You’re so pretty he damn near forgets how to speak. His tongue swells and every word he could use loses meaning at the sight of you. But it isn’t you, and that only confounds him further.
It’s like you’ve covered yourself in body paint. The real version of you is hidden somewhere underneath it all, glimmering somehow more golden than the flaxen you’re playing pretend in.
When Steve realizes he hasn’t yet answered you, it feels like it’s been ten minutes or more. In reality, no longer than five seconds have gone by.
“Hey,” he greets finally, in an exhale that gets caught in his throat halfway through. He clears it and smiles shakily. “Hi.”
He steps to the side of the doorway and ushers you inside. He wipes his sweaty palms on his slacks when he thinks you aren’t looking, but you catch him in the act when you turn to face him again. Your grin widens and you trap it between your teeth.
“Smells good in here,” you compliment, walking slowly backward with your hands clasped behind your back.
“Thanks,” he accepts your flattery with an awkward hand on his neck. “Yeah, uh— I kinda burnt the chicken a little bit, but everything else should be good. At least, I hope it’s good. It’s kinda hard to mess up a salad, right?”
He laughs under his breath, then starts to ramble without realizing it.
“I’m not the best cook, as it turns out. I mean, I thought I could at least fake it, you know? Fake it ’til you make it, or whatever that bullshit saying is — but there is no faking the tornado I just had in the kitchen. I don’t think I’ve made a bigger mess in my life. But, uh, yeah… And don’t worry! I didn’t put tomatoes in the pasta. Or the salad. Or the sauce. I know you don’t think them, so…”
You’re in the middle of beaming and trying very hard not to laugh when he hits you with that one. 
Steve, like you, is having a very hard time shutting up just now. He’s in the same web of nervousness that you’re spun up in too. He’s all tangled and trying to weave words that make sense, though everything things his mouth in half-thoughts.
But then he says something so strangely profound out of nowhere, and it makes your pounding heart stop without warning. He’s just talking about fucking tomatoes, but you understand that — in some weird, roundabout way — that it’s much deeper than that.
You’d told him the mundane little detail in passing some time ago. At the diner, when you picked the fruit from your burger with a grimace on your face. You said it tasted like battery acid and tainted everything it touched. He took it back to the counter when you weren’t brave enough to. 
“Here you go, Punchy. Your battery-acid-free burger,” he’d joked when he set the fresh plate in front of you.
And he remembered all that. He tucked that tiny piece of information about you into the very back of his mind so that he could use it to make you happy later on.
That’s adoration at its core, you figure. Somewhere in all those minuscule remember-ings.
“You remembered that?” you wonder aloud in a bemused sort of whisper.
Steve has already moved on. He’s rambling about the broken spout of his cologne bottle but stops the second he realizes he’s doing it.
Of course, I did, scoffs the little voice in his head. I’m sorta obsessed with you, as it turns out.
He doesn’t tell you that, though, for reasons he finds are quite obvious — the most significant of which would be running you off entirely. So instead, he just shrugs and tries to be cool, despite having already established how terribly uncool he is.
“Yeah. I remember everything.”
When the two of you settle at the dining table, Steve realizes he’s eaten most of his dinners alone until now.
His parents stopped caring sometime around middle school. His dad got too busy with work, started staying after-hours to catch up on paperwork or screw his secretary. And his mom didn’t care because she was too busy getting wine-drunk on the phone with whatever book club friend that was just as miserable as she was. 
Steve would fork at his cold pad thai while he listened to his mother’s muffled rant about who went where and who wore a hat.
He couldn’t find it in himself to eat in his room. The empty dinner table was the only sort of stable routine he had in the swirling uncertainty of being a teenage boy.
But now he’s got you. 
He hopes he never stops having you. He doesn’t want to go back to being alone like that again, not after he’s found someone that can fill an entire room with their laugh.
The cackle you let out at Steve’s terrible, terrible cheese pun — “yeah, I guess you could say I cooked this all on my provol-own — echoes through the dining room. Even though he knows you’re laughing at him and not exactly with him, he figures it’s a small price to pay to keep hearing such a heavenly sound.
It reminds him of the real you, the one underneath all the foreign regalia. 
The rays of your usual sunshine peek from the clouds you hide behind. You’re way too bright to stay hidden.
Steve can tell you’re watching his every move. You eye him from across the table with the intent of doing everything he’s doing, lest you might do something wrong. He puts his napkin in his lap, so you put your napkin your lap. He cuts his chicken with his fork and knife, so you cut your chicken with a fork and knife — though you quickly realize you’re not quite as dexterous as he is for all that.
It’s endearing. The kind of cute that makes his heart hurt just a little bit. He hides his smile and happily abandons the conventional things he’d been taught to do. He eats with his fingers and then licks the pads of them, grinning when you giggle and do the same. 
It’s not something he’s used to — grabbing pieces of cut chicken with bare fingers and slurping noodles without having cut them first — especially not when he’s trying to impress a girl. But he can tell the lack of etiquette makes you more comfortable, and that’s all he really cares about.
He offers you another serving once you’ve finished your first. You decline politely with the mutters of “oh, no, I couldn’t,” but he’s seen your appetite. You could down five burgers at the diner and not break a sweat if you’re feeling hungry enough.
It’s one of those little heart-wrenchingly adorable things you do that both shock and enamor him. But, for a reason he can’t name, you’ve decided that part of yourself was too deplorable to add to your costume.
Steve only scoffs at you in response. He scoops more chicken and pasta onto your scrapped-clean plate despite your refusal.
You’re grateful he doesn’t let you get away with your stubbornness. Truth be told, you were still sort of starving.
He’s just grateful you don’t think his mediocre cooking skills total a complete dealbreaker.
Steve tries to fight you when you offer to help him clean up the kitchen. He tells you to make yourself at home on the couch while he tidies up, ushers you to pour yourself a glass of wine and pick out a record while you wait for him. 
But you have issues with authority and take little fondness in being told what to do. So, in true Punchy fashion, you do the exact opposite of what he tells you to do.
You roll up the sleeves of your pretty sweater and stand next to him at the deeply set sink in his kitchen island. “You wash, I’ll dry?” you offer.
He doesn’t argue, only nods. 
He’ll let you take the blame for not wanting to be too far away from him. It’s easier than admitting his own guilt in the matter. ‘Cause sometimes his heart breaks when he blinks and he has to miss you for the faintest fraction of a second. 
“You seriously don’t have to, you know—”
“Stop saying that,” you scold and snatch the dripping plate from his hands. You swipe a towel over the ceramic with a meticulous ease. “I actually like doing dishes, okay? I do them at all time. I’m practically a professional at this point.”
“Yeah?” Steve laughs, shooting you a grin as he dunks his hand into the warm, sudsy water.
You love that stupid smile so much you’ve started to hate it. 
It’s soft and so sincere, just wide enough to reveal the dimple in his left cheek. The gentle grin drips with so much honey you can practically taste it. It’s so tender it makes you feel unworthy, so full of love it fills you with a distant rage that he might’ve looked at someone else with it.
You have to duck away from his gaze before he can catch you blushing. 
“Yeah. That’s, like, my one chore when I’m over at Eddie’s,” you respond with a shrug. “Because, you know, Wayne’s always working and Eddie’s… Eddie, and he really shouldn’t be trusted with anything remotely sharp or breakable, so…”
“What about when you’re home?” he wonders, simply for the sake of keeping the conversation going, but noting how the mention of home makes you tense.
“Uh, yeah. I mean, considering every time I go back, it looks like there’s been a tornado, doing dishes is just one part of the shit pile that I need to clean up, you know? My parents are usually on some bender — or still passed out from said bender — to take care of the place while I’m gone.”
Steve sees how distracted you’ve gotten as you keep wiping down a bone-dry plate.
“But, uh, anyway. Point is, I think I’m destined to have a career as a professional dishwasher.”
When your gaze flits back to Steve’s, he forces a smile at you.
He’s noticed how you always seem to talk about your best friend and his uncle without ever mentioning your parents. He understands now that it’s because they weren’t your family, not like Eddie and Wayne were. The small Munson clan was your home, it seems, and he fights to steer you back that way.
“So, you stay with them most of the time, then?” he redirects innocently as he hands you a freshly washed wine glass.
“Yeah. I think I’m pretty much Eddie’s personal caretaker these days.”
“Wow,” he marvels playfully, wide-eyed and grinning. “On top of being a professional dishwasher? You’re really doin’ it all, aren’t ya, Punchy?”
“Mm-hmm. I am a real jack of all trades, Harrington,” you joke back with a commendable finesse and flash a teasing smile up at him. The pastel-colored lipstick has mostly disappeared from your mouth now. You look more like yourself.
“And Eddie— he’s got this crazy scar on his hand from when he was a kid, and he was helping Wayne wash the dishes. He, like, blindly reached into the water or something and stabbed himself. Knife went straight through his palm.”
Steve winces.
“Yep. Now he says he’s too traumatized to help do the chores,” you reminisce with a distant laugh and set the glass upside down on the drying rack. “I don’t mind, though. I like doing them on my own. Gives me time to think, you know?”
“I’m standing right here,” the boy beside you scoffs, feigning offense.
“You can be the exception, Stevie,” you assure with a grin.
Maybe it’s the look you give him. Maybe it’s the nickname he used to hate, but now makes his heart skip a beat or two — or three. Maybe it’s all those things and the way your fingers brush his wrist when you move to take the pot from his hands. Either way, something shifts and he forgets how to use his fine motor skills.
The pan slips from his fumbling hands and yours and plops back into the water. The metal bangs loudly when it hits the bottom of the sink. Both of you jump back to avoid the splash.
“Shit. Sorry,” he apologizes, eyes scanning your form to make sure he didn’t make a total mess of you.
“It’s okay,” you promise with a gentle laugh and swipe the towel in your hand over your sweater to remove the droplets clinging there.
Steve scrunches his nose. “I feel like I might’ve just ruined my co-dishwashing privileges.”
“Just a little,” you quip.
You give him no warning before bringing the waffle-patterned nettle up to his cheek to dry him off, too. He flinches at the suddenness of the action but melts into your touch without thinking twice.
“You know, you have a pretty cool scar, too,” you tell him, mostly out of the blue, while you dab at the stubble on his jaw.
Steve’s gotten used to all your abrupt mannerisms and the way you flip-flop between topics with an expertise only you seem to possess. He likes that about you, though. There’s never a quiet or still moment when he’s with you.
“Yeah?” he hums back.
You nod and move down to his neck. “I felt it a while ago, during our Night of the Living Dead marathon—” of which Steve has no recollection. He can’t remember a damn thing from those movies, but can still feel the tingle of your mouth against his own. 
“—On the back of your head. Felt pretty gnarly.”
You switch the towel to your other hand and use your free one to swipe through his hair. Your fingers muss at his hour or more of hard work, but your touch is a far better reward than nearly quaffed hair. You weave through the chocolate strands until you reach a marred, barren line.
“Right… there.”
Steve, still buzzing with your touch, manages a breathy chuckle. “Uh, yeah. It’s a… It’s a really long, really stupid story.”
“Wanna give me the short version?”
The grin you give him is impossible to say no to.
“I’m a super klutz,” he summarizes with a shrug and a sloppy grin. 
He mourns the loss of your touch when your hand slips from his hair. “Well, now I have to hear the story.”
“It’s dumb. Like, seriously—”
“I like dumb,” you assure quickly to stop whatever self-loathing he was about to spew. “I’m best friends with Eddie Munson. I think I can take it.”
“Touché,” he chuckles under his breath. The remaining dishes are left forgotten in the depths of the soapy water when he turns his back to him. He leans his weight on the countertop and grips the edges of it in his hands. “You see, I did this really smart thing when I was a baby where I’d, you know, crawl backwards—”
“Crawl backwards?” you repeat with an incredulous laugh.
“Yeah. I’d push with my hands — beep, beep, beep,” he flattens his palms and presses them against thin air to demonstrate it for you. “Always in reverse. I mean, it makes sense, right? You gotta push to move.”
“Sure,” you shrug. A laugh tumbles from your mouth shortly after.
“Did that until I reversed my way down a flight of stairs and hit my head pretty damn good,” he concludes with a wince. It’s like he can still feel the pain sometimes.
“Wow,” you marvel. “So, like… When people ask if you were dropped on your head as a kid, the answer would be—”
“Yep…” he sighs, then laughs when it makes you laugh. He looks over at you with sparkling cinnamon eyes. “It explains a lot, doesn’t it? I think, like, right out of the gate, I’m super confident, you know? But I’m also a total idiot, which is just a brutal combination.”
“I have noticed that, actually,” you confess with a gentle sort of smile.
“Yeah?” he winces.
“Yeah. You do this thing sometimes where you get all… suave and cool,” you tell him, squinting and lowering your voice a few octaves for effect. “Like you’re trying to be King Steve all over again. And then you, like, trip over a stack of DVDs or something because the universe is trying to humble you.”
“That is a… really good way of putting it, actually,” Steve confesses with a laugh.
“I think it’s sweet.”
“Well, the good thing is, I get a big enough thump on my head, I can change, you know? I can learn. So, I guess I’m pretty glad somebody bumped my head before we met. ‘Cause things probably would’ve turned out… a whole lot differently.”
Steve watches your face contort from understanding to confusion. Your manicured brows pinch together and your doe eyes squint over at him. He watches you break down his words in real time. 
“Somebody…” you murmur under your breath. “You mean… Are you talking about Nancy?”
“Yeah, uh… She gave me a— a pretty big thump, you know? Worse than the one I got falling down those stupid stairs,” he tells you with a reminiscent smile. 
It makes you feel like a total idiot, standing in front of him like this — a carbon copy of the girl that tore his heart to shreds.
“I deserved it, though. I mean, you knew me back then, I was a… a total asshole. And sometimes, I think I still would be if she didn’t, you know… if she didn’t… totally rip my fucking heart out,” he concludes with a sad sort of laugh. “Now I’m kinda grateful she did. As bad as it hurt — as angry as it made me — I think, in a lotta ways, it made me better.”
“Better?” you echo quietly.
“Yeah… If she didn’t break up with me when she did — if I didn’t get that dumb thump on my head — I wouldn’t have changed. I wouldn’t be… here right now. With you,” he confesses, revealing more of himself than he ever has before, to a girl he wouldn’t have been caught dead with a couple of years ago.
He looks beside him at this costumed girl — at you — and he sees someone he probably would’ve given the time of day back in high school. The lack of dark, baggy clothing makes you look approachable — like you won’t actually bite him for coming near you like the rumors always said.
And Steve’s self-aware enough to know he probably would’ve treated you like shit back then. He would’ve fucked you just to fuck you, then only talk to you when he needed you to do his homework for him. And you wouldn’t have been the first girl he did that to either, and the thought makes him want to puke.
He’s glad he’s found you when he did. He’s even happier you met him where he was at, in that awkward in-between stage of growing up where you’re trying to be someone different while still finding comfort in staying the same. You never complained even once when he reverted back to his old ways.
And even though you’re standing right next to him, your chest nearly brushing his arm with every heavy breath you take, he finds himself missing you. 
You’re not you — not without the fun outfits and the crazy hair and all your rings that clink together every time you move. He misses how the metal felt against his skin and the way they’d get caught in his hair.
You’re still beautiful like this, but it’s a strange type of beauty. One that both of you know doesn’t belong to you. You fit into it like baggy jeans or a too tight shirt. You’ve squeezed yourself into a ball to try to fit into a world far too small for you, because you thought that’s what Steve wanted.
“I’d still be that King Steve douchebag… Partying every night, getting drunk out of my mind, never settling down like I…” The words get trapped in his throat. He clears it to force them out. “Like I always wanted to, you know?”
“Right,” you murmur, voice not strong enough to be any louder than that.
“So, yeah, I don’t know. I guess, in some weird, roundabout way, I’m just to tell you that I’m not that guy anymore. King Steve,” he admits and presses his hip into the counter to face you fully.
When you gather the strength to look up at him, you find his gaze already dripping with honey and staring down at you. He’s all soft and mushy and twinkling with the adoration he’s got for you. And when he smiles, it’s so terribly sincere and coated with a distant sadness that’s been playing on the edge of his voice this whole time.
“And I know you might still see me as that guy. I don’t blame you. Honestly, I don’t really deserve to be looked at any differently, not after how I acted towards you—”
“Steve,” you breathe out in a tender sigh. “It’s okay—”
He shakes his head to himself. His eyes squeeze shut when his chin falls to his chest.
“It’s not. It’s… It’s really not. I just—” he inhales sharply, chest deflating on the exhale when his gaze turns back to you. He looks sterner now, but still so tender. “I just want you to know that I’ve changed, okay? I am changing. And I don’t want you to think I’m the kinda guy you have to change yourself for.”
When the weight of his words finally hits you, it feels a bit like being punched in the stomach.
It knocks all the wind out of you and makes it hard to think about anything other than the sudden loss of breath. Like a kid who’s fallen off the monkey bars and flat onto their back, you can’t do anything but writhe through the ache and hope you’ll be back to normal soon.
You got dressed that evening thinking you were the master of deception. You perfected your subterfuge and awaited Steve’s inevitable swooning because you looked like all the other girls he’d fallen in love with. 
But he sees through every inch of your pretending with his secret x-ray powers, and now you’re just a stupid girl standing in front of him, soaking wet with embarrassment.
It’s a little like when he and Tommy and all his basketball goons would make fun of you. They’d talk about you like you weren’t there while they tossed tiny crumbled up pieces of paper into your hair so they could watch you struggle to get them out. But, at the same time, it’s not like that at all. Because now he’s apologizing, and telling you that he likes you, and that you never had to change a single damn thing for him at all.
You’re equally as self-conscious, though, and feeling like a total idiot for thinking you could even pretend to be halfway normal.
“Oh…” is the only thing that leaves your mouth in that moment. Your mind is still going a million miles a minute. You want to blurt out an apology and an explanation all at once, while simultaneously turning into a puddle at his feet and disappearing entirely.
But rather than break down, you stay standing. Too stuck in your head to feel all there.
Steve seems to notice your trepidation almost immediately. His eyes widen and his brows raise and his pretty mouth falls open to let all of his reassurances spill out. 
“And it’s not that I don’t think you’re pretty! You’re— You’re perfect like this too, but I just…” he inhales and takes the tiniest step closer to you, putting an unsure hand on your waist. “I like you the way you were before. And this isn’t… This isn’t you.”
You blink back stinging tears and turn your gaze to where you toe your Mary Jane’s into the kitchen tile. You go to twist your rings like you always did when you were nervous before realizing you’d left them all at home.
“I just wanted to be like the girls you like,” you confess quietly.
“You are like the girls I like,” Steve corrects with a gentle laugh. “‘Cause I like you.”
Your eyes are all glassy when they flit back up to his. 
Even though you don’t look quite like yourself, the way you look at him hasn’t changed. You still gaze at him like you can see right through the nice hair and the dumb smirks and the stupid persona he puts on when he doesn’t feel good enough the way he is. You look at him like you’re in love with the boy he tries like hell to keep hidden.
The exact same way he looks at you.
“I think I just got a little spooked. Girls like me aren’t supposed to end up with guys like you.”
“I stopped believing in that shit a long time ago,” he admits with the shake of his head. “The whole soulmates-love-at-first-sight thing, it’s all… bullshit. If I’m gonna love someone, I’m gonna do it on purpose.”
Steve watches the lingering sadness in your eyes ebb to something sunnier. Your gaze sparkles and suddenly you’re beaming at him, not bothering to conceal the effect his words have on you. You don’t think you could even if you wanted to.
“I like that,” you murmur in approval, then more loudly proclaim: “Screw soulmates! Let’s start loving people on purpose!”
The two of you laugh about this promise you’ve just made to each other without really saying it to each other. It sort of goes unsaid — if I’m gonna love you, I’m gonna do it on purpose and let’s love each other on purpose. That’s what you mean, and neither of you has to say it out loud because you get it. 
It’s that exact realization that makes Steve’s heart flutter something fierce. Suddenly, the urge to touch you becomes too great to bear. He wants to feel you like he did on the couch of his theater room, when a film he could barely recall crackled in the background because the feel of you was too loud for him to hear anything else.
He needs you like that again, on him and all over him. The ache is a palpable one.
The boy squeezes your waist again, as though to remind you he was still there. Or, perhaps, to remind himself that you were still there —the real thing and not something his brain conjured up.
“It’s not totally insane how bad I want to kiss you right now, is it?” he wonders quietly to you. The low, sultry nature of his voice is not at all forced like it usually is when he’s trying most desperately to flirt with you. His words are just naturally weighed down by his desire for you.
You shake your head in a silent promise, then command through a grin, “Kiss me stupid, Harrington.”
Steve doesn’t waste a second.
He’s been anxiously awaiting his chance to touch you all night. He does so now with a vigor that makes you feel all of that anticipation. With one hand on your waist and the other cupping your jaw, you can feel his buzzing skin as it presses against your own — like the static of a television screen. His fingers settle between the strands of your hair while his thumb absentmindedly rubs along your cheekbone. 
The softness of his touch makes you hum against his mouth.
His lips are familiar like home — more than, because sometimes you think you’ve never really had one. 
There’s never been a cozy, warm, and tender place where you could rest your tired bones. Eddie’s trailer, maybe, but it wasn’t yours. No matter how often you slept within the four walls of his bedroom, no matter how hard you pretended like you’d lived there all your life, it would never belong to you.
But Steve could. 
Steve could be yours.
And you wouldn’t even have to pretend either. It would be for real this time.
His mouth was welcoming and pleasant and gentle, far more than you’ve ever gotten out of four walls and a roof. The plush pink of his lips — the cushion of his bottom one you like to dig your teeth into and the rough pad of his tongue that explores your mouth like undiscovered territory — is perhaps the softest thing you’ve ever known.
Even when he kisses you harder and guides you until your back is pressed against the edge of the countertop, it’s still so, so tender.
Steve’s hands migrate to your hips. His fingers clutch the fabric of your skirt as he cages you against his weight and the counter, as though out of fear you might slip away.
Your touch mirrors his desperate one. You cling to him with a similar intensity, balling the fabric of his navy blue Henley in one hand while you waltz through the pretty strands of his neatly styled hair with the other. You let him kiss you the way he wants to kiss you, keeping your obedient mouth plaint for him while he opens your mouth wider with his tongue.
His touches turn bruising, and yours go soft like summer rain.
Steve holds desperately onto you, like any moment he could wake up and none of this could be real. He kisses you like he won’t ever get to kiss you again, having no idea that you’ve already started to build a home in him. 
Meanwhile, your fingers tips trail like drops of water down his chest and stomach. They settle at his waist, on the top of his belt, and linger along the leather edge of it. You’re not quite sure what to do next — if you should wait for Steve to say something or if you should go ahead and take the lead.
Your sudden hesitation makes him nervous.
Steve’s lips click wetly as they part from yours. He peers down at you through heavy lids, amber eyes swimming with honeyed desire. His lips are pinker now, and swollen from being kissed so ardently. His brows pinch in concern. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t w—”
You barely let him get the words out before you press your mouth to his again. Your hands twist at the collar of his shirt to bring him back down to you. You stand on the tips of your toes to meet him halfway. 
“I want to,” you mumble, practically slurring from being so drunk on his touch.
“I wanna treat you right—” he tries to tell you. Some of his words are muffled against your mouth because you find yourself totally unable to stop kissing him now. “—Take things slow with you.” 
You smack a final kiss to his lips. When his honey eyes flutter open again, he finds you wearing a mischievous sort of smirk. There’s an accompanying teasing glint in your glazed over eyes.
“You can do all that when you’re inside of me,” you promise lowly, bold in a way neither of you are used to. The brazen nature of your dirty words is foreign but no less exciting.
They make Steve’s head get all swimmy and his cock tightens as it stiffens in his slacks. His spine tingles with his borderline overwhelming desire for you.
“Have mercy…” he murmurs within a heavy breath, more to himself than to you.
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
And love, is only heaven away...
Steve’s curtains match his wallpaper.
It’s a questionable blue and gray plaid that you doubt he picked out himself. The framed pictures of sports cars only add to the boyish flair of his bedroom. It doesn’t look like him, though. None of it does.
The only real trace of Steve The Hair Harrington is the poster of Christie Brinkley hanging beside his window, diligently placed right next to his bed. It’s a blown-up Sports Illustrated cover — a beautiful, soaking wet woman posing less than effortlessly against a palm tree in all her blonde-haired, blue-eyed, perfected-bodied glory. It’s the most King Steve you’ve ever seen.
All the minute details of his bedroom make you giggle.
“You have great taste, Steve Harrington.”
He grumbles in annoyance at your teasing as he clicks his door shut behind you.
“Well, you can thank my mom for my great taste, okay? She decorated the place when we moved in, like, forever ago. I just haven’t, you know, gotten around to changing it yet.”
“I can tell,” you laugh and turn to him with a smirk. “Really cool bedsheets, by the way. I mean, seriously. This is state-of-the-art design here, Stevie.”
It isn’t until he’s being pelted with your relentless teasing that he remembers he’s got dinosaur-patterned linens spread out on his mattress.
Steve typically likes to alternate bedsheets in between washing them. His plain gray ones would’ve perhaps been more appropriate for times like this, but they were in his hamper along with another set of plaid ones. His dino sheets may be immature, but they’re no less comfortable. It’s not his fault they just happened to fall on the week you were coming over.
“Alright, Punchy—” The boy rolls his eyes and splays two wide hands on your sides, pressing himself into you rather shamelessly. You wonder if the clothed stiffness against your lower stomach is just your imagination. Any other teasing remarks dissipate from the tip of your tongue as your eyes widen.
Steve notices your silence and smiles. “—You wanna keep making fun of me, or do you wanna make out some more?”
“I think we can do both,” you answer with a shrug, resting your hands along his waist. “I’m quite the multitasker, Harrington.”
“Yeah?”
You nod.
“Wanna show me?”
You nod again, smiling wider now.
He smashes his lips into yours again. You meet him halfway. It’s all too easy to fall back into the swings of things — the desperate mouths and longing touches. Maybe because you’re always desperate and longing for him. And, with the way he’s clinging to you now, you figure he must always be those things for you, too.
You relish in all of his little touches, in the duality of them. He cups your jaw so tenderly yet clutches your hip like he’s still trying to discern whether you’re real or not. Then his palms slide around your waist and up your back until he’s all but hugging you. It’s too sweet a gesture for how he’s prying your lips open with his mouth to slip his tongue inside. 
His hands settle, finally, at the very bottom of your sweater. They linger at them hem, not pressuring you to do anything, just waiting for you to make a move. 
You part from him to abide by his unspoken want. Your trembling hands work together to free you from your top. You’re more than grateful to pry the itchy thing off of you.
Steve doesn’t get the chance to admire the bra you wear. He catches a glimpse of frilly lace, but there’s little time to praise your topless form before you’re pulling him into another searing kiss. It’s full of tongue and teeth now, far more hungry that just moments ago. Your fingers slither through his hair and curl in the strands. You keep him firmly locked against you as his lips trail down your neck.
He finds your most sensitive spot in record time — the one just under your jaw, right beside your racing pulse. Your legs nearly give out when his tongue runs over it. A breathy moan exhales from your mouth before you can stop it and you feel him smile against your neck. He doesn’t comment on it, just keeps kissing you there in the hopes that you’ll do it for him again.
You do.
Steve sucks and nips at your delicate skin, and you revel in the feeling of his mouth. Head thrown back, you let him paint your neck in varying shades of red. Some will disappear come morning; others will darken into souvenirs for you to admire for the next few days.
The thought of him marking you drives you nearly as crazy as the feeling of his lips against you. 
You stopped trying to hold back your whines somewhere around ten of them ago. It was easier, you found, for him to kiss you and to let yourself enjoy it than be hyperaware of all the sounds you were or weren’t making. Steve seems to like it when you moan for him, anyway. Every time you do, he kisses you harder, holds you tighter, and hums out his own subtle moans against you.
He digs his teeth into your skin. It makes you whimper. The desperate, high-pitched noise fades into a lower moan when the rough pad of his tongue rushes out to soothe the bite. He moves on to kiss you elsewhere. You shiver when your spit-slicked skin meets the cool air.
You don’t notice that you’ve hitched your leg up his hip until you feel his warm hand on your thigh to hold it up for you. His fingers inch up until the tips of them rest beneath the hem of your skirt.
You don’t bother to hide how much you want him.
He doesn’t bother to hide how badly he needs you close.
“Wanna make you feel good,” he mumbles into your neck, smiling when his words make you whine. “Can I make you feel good?”
You nod when the words get stuck in your throat.
He parts from you for the first time in several minutes. His heavy gaze meets your own. “Can you say it for me?” he asks, not teasing you, just wanting to make sure you want this. Him.
“Want you to…” you start, then swallow when your voice is tighter than expected. You manage the rest through bated breaths. “…to make me feel good.”
Steve kisses you again, a long and thorough stamp on your lips, followed by several tinier pecks. Then his mouth starts its journey down, down, down your body, stopping only to admire your exposed chest. He’s more than pleased to find that what you’re wearing is hardly a bra at all.
It’s a sheer thing with dainty lace detailing. He figures it’s more for decoration than to push up your breasts. There’s no padding at all. Just a pretty tulle number that leaves very little to the imagination.
You watch him intently with a smile, enamored by how enamored he seems to be by a pair of boobs. You never thought yours were much to ogle over, but Steve presses tender, wet kisses to them anyway. He takes the plush between his teeth, sucking on the delicate skin to leave a blossoming bruise there. He only trails further down when he’s satisfied with the mark he’s branded you with.
Steve falls to his knees with a soft thud upon the carpeted floor. The faint sound is much more obvious in the quiet of his bedroom. He looks somehow prettier below you — soft and delicate and sweet like chocolate syrup or marshmallow fluff. But he’s still got this air about him, something stern and domineering, that tells you he’s still got all the power.
He presses a kiss to your thigh, just above the top of your sock, then several more further up. His fingers raise the fabric of your skirt the higher his lips travel. And, strangely, you’re not all that nervous about being half-naked in front of him. It’s hard to be when he’s kissing you like you’re a beautiful thing that deserves to be touched so tenderly.
Steve keeps pushing up your skirt and stills when he reaches the apex of your thigh, right where the top of it meets the joint of your hip.
Your underwear doesn’t match the bra you’re wearing, he finds. It’s orange all over and spotted with bats — the color has faded slightly, like you’d bought them some number of Halloweens ago.
It’s endearing. Everything about you is endearing. Even when you aren’t trying.
“Hold it up for me, yeah?” he asks you with your skirt in his hands.
It shouldn’t surprise him when you do the exact opposite. You step back from him to shove the thing down your legs, then leave it in a pool of forgotten fabric on his bedroom floor when you gravitate towards him all over again. 
His hands rise to your outer thigh and rub soothingly along the warmed skin. You wonder if he can feel the goosebumps pebbling there. The smirk he flashes up at you tells you that he does.
He’s got a twinkle in his eye when he teases you. “Really cute underwear, by the way.”
“I was obviously very prepared for this,” you retort with ease, making fun of yourself just as effortlessly as you can make fun of him.
“I like them,” the boy assures. “I really like them. Very on brand, Punchy.”
“Would you like me better out of them?”
Your arched brow and knowing smirk, kept caged between your teeth, is met with a bemused gaze. Steve’s eyes go wide at your forwardness.
“Uh, yeah— I mean… yeah,” he nods with a breathless chuckle. Then, more sincerely says, “Only if you still want to.”
You scoff at his timidity, though it’s more at yourself than him. “Look at me, Steve,” you answer plainly, motioning to your half-naked form and the damp spot forming in your underwear. “If I didn’t want this, you’d know by now.”
Steve huffs out a laugh, just before pressing a chaste kiss to the black bow of your panties. He noses at the softness of your stomach while his fingers curl around the hem. He tugs them slowly downward, giving you ample time to stop him if you wanted. 
A part of him is still convinced that none of this is real — you, namely. Truth be told, he’s waiting for a smack to the face and a rant about how all of this was just bullshit.
It never comes, though.
Instead, he gets a sheepish grin and a sparkling gaze as you hold onto his shoulder to step out of your underwear. The giggle that spills from your mouth when he tosses them over his shoulder makes him smile. 
Your pussy is as pretty as the rest of you. It’s more manicured than he imagined for a girl as wild as you. There’s a tuft of hair on your pubic bone, cut down and shaved around the edges. It leaves your lips bare and glistening with your accumulating slick.
Steve’s all but salivating at the sight of you.
“You wanna put that mouth to work, Harrington, or do you wanna ogle some m— oh,” you try to tease him, all amused at how he looks like he’s never seen a naked girl before, knowing full well he’s seen plenty. But your taunts evaporate from your tongue when he finally puts his mouth on you. They ebb into a breathy, high-pitched moan.
The tip of his chiseled nose smushes against you while he licks at the rest of your pussy with a practiced tongue. 
It’s more than obvious he’s done this before. Enough to have become a borderline professional at it. He finds your sensitive button within seconds and with minimal effort. Your legs are already buckling, practically turning to jelly, and he’s only just started. 
He latches onto your lips with a swollen pink mouth. His warm, wide hands wrap around the backs of your thighs to keep you steady and anchored against him.
Steve kisses your cunt like he’s making out with you. He opens and closes his mouth in slow, rhythmic motions, rutting his tongue along your glistening skin all the while. He’s sloppy with intention. Every touch is meticulous. He’s trying to figure you out, trying to learn what you like the most and what makes you moan the loudest for him.
Steve’s attentive. He’s ambitious and ardent. It’s like he enjoys kissing you down there, and not like he’s doing you a favor so he can get something in return. He moans against you like it’s every bit as pleasurable for him, as it is for you.
He alternates his efforts while he discovers you like unexplored territory.
You giggled like it tickled you when he stuck his tongue into your cunt the first time, then moaned when his nose nudged your clit. “Your mouth is so good,” you’d praised through bated breaths, but your whines had gotten too quiet for his liking. He opted to give his tongue a break and latch his slick lips to your swelling clit.
You liked it most when he sucked you there. At least, he figures you must, with the way your mouth parts in a silent cry and your hands dart to his hair to push him further into you.
“You like that?” Steve asks you, just to be sure. He pulls enough away so the words are intelligible, but still close for you to feel the vibrations of them against your skin.
“Yes,” you answer in a broken sigh.
Steve barely lets you answer before he’s licking a flat stripe up the length of your pussy. He slows methodically when the tip of his tongue catches your puffy clit, just so he can see your legs tremble. They do, rather intensely so, and he revels in the way your thighs quiver at his temples.
He wishes he’d laid you down before putting his mouth on you. He regrets not getting to spread you open, to part your soft folds with his thumbs, and admire you the way you deserve to be admired. 
But to be under you this way is a reward in itself. To get on his knees for you, to let you grind your hips against his face, it’s heaven. He never wants to stop feeling you this way.
“Please, Steve…” you moan breathlessly. “Please, please, please.”
You plea like it’s a mantra. Your voice grows tighter and tighter the closer you get to your peak. 
Steve’s not entirely what you’re begging for. You’re not either, really. You just know that the pleasure is swelling. The wringing knot in your stomach is close to snapping. The thought alone is borderline overwhelming. You want to run away from the crescendoing feeling and keep it locked against your pussy all at once.
“Steve… Steve, please. I’m— fuck.”
“You can take it,” he promises, speaking the words into your cunt. His lips smack when he pulls away from you, just for a moment to catch his breath. His chest heaves and his tongue darts to graze his bottom lip. “It’s yours, baby. Just take it—”
You’re a goner the second he wraps his lips around your clit again. He suckles there like his life depends on it. Your hips twitch and you tug at his hair when you come, perhaps a bit rougher than you realize. Steve delights in the burn at his scalp. He groans shamelessly into you, a hearty grumble that rolls over every inch of your body.
You make the mistake of looking down at him in the midst of your undoing. You bring your chin down to your chest and open your fluttering eyes to peer down at the boy below you. He’s already looking up at you, you find, with his own bleary gaze. His cinnamon eyes glitter up at you and you melt for him.
Something about the sight of Steve on his knees for you, face snug against your cunt, and gaze lidded with desire makes you keen. Your hips flex, then still against his mouth while you gush for him.
“There you go,” he murmurs against your cunt. “There you go, baby.”
A high moan gets hung in your throat at his praise. It escapes in a delicate cry when your orgasm pummels into you full throttle. You’re whining and terribly sensitive when the buzzing feeling starts to ebb.
Steve laps at your weeping cunt while you writhe. 
He knows to leave your throbbing clit alone now, but seeks to prolong your pleasure in other ways. He gathers the honey you leak from your pulsating hole with an eager tongue and doesn’t relent until you’re twitching away from him. Only when you’re tugging him off by his hair is he satisfied.
Then he goes effortlessly soft again.
He presses little kisses to the burning flesh of your thighs and runs his palms along the backs of them to coax you back to the earth again.
When your cries fade to more contented sighs and your eyes find his again, he smiles sweetly up at you. Too sweetly. He shouldn’t be grinning so tenderly, not when his lips and chin and nose glisten with your slick.
Steve wipes his mouth with the back of his hands as he rises to his full height in front of you.
“Was that… Was that good for you?” he wonders, suddenly sheepish like he wasn’t lapping at your pussy a minute or more ago.
“Are you kidding?” you retort, trying to laugh at him. All that comes out is a fatigued scoff. Your hands twist in the fabric of his shirt and you lean heavily against him when his arms wrap around you again. “I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard in my life.”
That nearly does him in right then.
He leans to press a languid kiss to your mouth. There’s a foreign musk to his tongue now that wasn’t there before. You hum a moan against him when you realize it’s you that you’re tasting.
“Can I suck you off?” you blurt.
Steve freezes. 
There’s hardly a thing he wants more than to feel your warm mouth on his cock. He’s been hard and aching since the second he got you into his bedroom. And that’s exactly why he knows he won’t last.
He usually jerks off before dates for that exact reason. At least, King Steve did because King Steve knew wherever he was going, he was getting laid. He wouldn’t have the reputation he did if he only lasted eight seconds.
He would’ve gotten himself off before you came around, made sure he was able to last as long as you needed him to if he’d expected you to need him at all. But he wasn’t expecting any of this to happen — especially not for you to come against his mouth and ask to give him a blowjob minutes later. 
He didn’t invite you to dinner in the hopes you’d put out after. Call him old-fashioned, but he enjoys spending innocent time with you. He would’ve been more than happy to cook you dinner and kiss you on the cheek before you left.
But here you are, wanting more.
You never stop surprising him.
“I mean, it’s only fair, right?” you shrug at his silence. “You deserve to get off too.”
“You don’t have to. Not just because I did it for you—”
“I’ve been hearing about your dick since the tenth grade. I’m pretty sure I’m the only girl in the class of ’85 that hasn’t seen it. The least you can do is let me give you a measly blowjob,” you confess lowly.
Steve, knocked senseless at your words, starts working his belt off without a second thought. His hands fumble with the buckle while he smirks at you. “Yeah? What have you heard?”
“Oh, you know. The usual,” you answer vaguely and saunter the short distance to his bed. You plop down on the edge of it and lean your weight on your palms. “Just that you have a monster-sized dick and that Marianne from Soc nearly broke it when you took her virginity.”
“That was a rumor!” he defends as he steps out of his jeans. His shirt goes next. He pulls the thing up and over his head with an admirable sort of finesse, leaving his toned torso and hairy chest on display for you. 
“The monster-sized dick or the Marianne from Soc thing?”
He doesn’t entertain with an answer, just drops his boxers and lets you figure it out for yourself. 
His cock is already hard and glowing a faint strawberry color at the tip with neglect. It curves to his right hip and hangs there, weighed down by its own size. The hair upon his pubic bone rises to meet the happy trail on his lean stomach, trimmed slightly but still a bit wild. Tanned skin, heavy balls, and a singular vein that trails like a river from the base to the head — Steve Harrington’s got the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen.
You don’t even realize you’re gawking at him because you’re too busy trying to figure out how either could be rumors. You’re looking at beast right now, a wild thing that tiny, little Marianne from Soc certainly couldn’t handle. You’re not even entirely sure if you can.
Steve blanches at your hesitation. He sees you retreat into your head and rushes to bring you back. “Hey, we don’t have to… We don’t have to do this if you do want to. We don’t have to do any of this if—”
“I want to,” you assure quickly, eyes widening when you realize how quiet you’d gone. You can imagine how mortifying it must’ve been, for him to get naked in front of you and be met with total silence. “You just… have the biggest dick I’ve ever seen.”
His concern ebbs to a relieved smile. “Well, thanks for stroking my ego, princess.”
“I would love to stroke something else,” you quip with a playful grin that’s far too proud of such a dumb joke.
Steve rolls his eyes but doesn’t bother to hide his smile. 
He wants it on record, though, that he’s not grinning at your mindless innuendo. It wreaks too much of Eddie. You both seem to possess a similar sort of humor in that way, in how you can make anything into a joke — particularly a dirty one.
“Thanks for stroking my ego,” Steve would say and Munson would joke, “Well, we both know nothing else of yours is getting stroked, Harrington, so it’s the least I can do.” And Eddie would’ve been right. But Steve would never let him know that.
The boy settles in the middle of his bed and watches with a glittering gaze as Eddie’s best friend climbs between his legs. She spits into her palm and starts tugging at his hard cock with it. Steve isn’t sure of what to do — if he should rub it in this boy’s face or keep this piece of heaven to himself. He decides on that latter when your lips wrap around his leaking tip.
You’ll tell Eddie about all this tomorrow. He’s your best friend, after all — Steve will be doing the same with Robin, no doubt. And that alone is a reward in and of itself.
Getting him into your mouth was easy in theory, but you quickly find that it’s a harder feat than you realized. Steve’s not just long, he’s wide, and the combination makes it nearly impossible to take him fully. 
You pay extra attention to his strawberry pink tip to make up for what you can’t reach. He seems to like that more than anything else. Pearly pre-come leaks from there and you happily lap up his dribbling honey. Steve shudders every time your tongue meets his mushroom tip. His cock keeps drooling for you, so you keep doing it.
You work the rest of him with your palm, made slippery with your spit. Your free hand anchors around his thigh.
The combined effort isn’t something Steve’s particularly used to. 
Most girls choose one or the other. They either try to swallow him whole or opt to use their hands when they know that they can’t. That is, if they even want to suck him off at all. The foreign attention you give him drives him to the edge embarrassingly quickly.
“Hey, we should, uh— we should maybe stop,” he cautions tightly.
You detach from the head of his dick with a soft pop, but keep working him slowly with your palm. Your brows pinch together with concern. “You okay? Is it not… Is it not good?”
“What? No! It’s not— It’s not that. It’s great. That’s the… That’s sorta the problem,” Steve assures with an awkward laugh. “I’m not gonna… I probably won’t last much longer. And if you wanna… you know…”
“Fuck?” you finish for him with a teasing grin.
“Yeah. Then we should, you know, maybe stop now.”
Your hand stills at the base of his cock. Steve can finally breathe without the worry of bursting entirely.
“I mean, we can stop if you want to. You know, no pressure or anything, but… I don’t mind. I was sorta looking forward to you coming in my mouth.”
And how the hell was Steve ever going to say no to that — to you? He’s never denied you of anything before, and with that godawful track record, he wasn’t exactly equipped to start now.
Your mouth wraps around him again. You kitten lick at his tip and moan at the musky taste before sucking at his blushing head.
It feels good — it feels great — but he’s plagued with a lingering worry. 
He wants so desperately to fuck you, more than he needs to breathe, it feels like. But your mouth is too perfect a thing to deprive himself of. He’s scared it’ll take him too long to get hard again, or worse, that he won’t be able to at all. 
The thought of embarrassing himself in front of you, of not making you feel as good as he wants to make you feel, is an unbearable one.
There’s no way he’s stopping you, though. How can he when you’re sucking him off like your life depends on it? Your hand tugs and squeezes at the base of his cock while your tongue laps at his drooling tip. And on top of all that, you moan against him like making him feel good is making you feel good, too.
“Holy shit,” Steve forces through a tightening throat when your tongue dips just below his head to lick where the pale blue vein fades. His neck stretches as he digs the crown of his head into the pillow, revealing all of the pretty tendons you want to sink your teeth into.
“Your mouth is— fuck… Your mouth is fucking perfect, babe, shit.”
All of his little reactions spur you forward. 
You want him to keep praising you. You want to keep making his legs shudder and his hips twitch and his cock jerk in your mouth. So you double your efforts, just to hear more of his pretty whines that get stuck in his throat.
When you duck your head to pay the same amount of attention to his balls, Steve’s a total fucking goner.
His hands, both of which were obediently fisting the bedsheets, immediately dart to your hair when you suck his sack into your mouth. One warm palm cradles your jaw while the other clings to the back of your hand. He doesn’t push you or force you to take him further — he just holds you.
“I’m gonna come,” he grunts before a groan climbs out from his throat. His head falls back again, but he forces it upright a moment later so he can keep on watching you.
His hips stutter when you hum a moan against him.
“Yeah? Is that what you want?” he manages through heavy pants. “You want my come?”
You nod with his balls still in your mouth, then pull off of them with a pop to put his cock back in your mouth. 
Steve gives you exactly what you want no more than ten seconds later, spitting several loads of his come onto your tongue. It tastes like what had been leaking from his tip, just a bit saltier and far more potent with so much of it in your mouth at one time.
Steve’s thighs tremble around you and hips buck wildly despite himself until he’s given you everything he can possibly give to you. 
He allows himself only a few moments to relish in the aftermath of his swirling pleasure before reaching for the box of tissues on his bedside table. He rises to his elbows to hand you the napkin when his dick slips from your mouth. 
“Here, you can—” he says, trying to offer you something to spit into. It’s a habit he’d developed after the tenth or so girl refused to swallow.
You’ve already wolfed down his come, though, and wiped the excess at the corners of your mouth with the tips of your fingers. You don’t let a single drop of him go to waste.
All this time, Steve assumed he just tasted bad. He figured that must’ve been why no girl ever swallowed for him — not even Nancy, the only other girl he was ever really serious about. And they were together for two years. On the off chance she ever actually wanted to give him a blowjob, he knew her swallowing his come was totally out of the question.
Steve never minded, though. He was a giver more than he was anything else and he preferred most to finish inside. But now, with you, he sees just how much he’d missed out on. It feels a bit strange and unearthly levels of gratifying.
The boy breathes out a laugh and falls back against the mattress. The tissue falls from his limp hand onto the carpeted floor as he revels in his post-orgasmic haze. With his head still swimming and his legs still tingling, his glassy eyes find the speckled ceiling above him but don’t focus on anything in particular.
“Was that—”
“Don’t even finish that sentence,” he interjects softly. 
There’s no use in asking if you were good or not. Surely, you could answer the question just by looking at him. He’s a puddle of a man in the middle of his bed, pliant and at your mercy.
You giggle and slither in beside him, pressing your mostly bare body into his side. One leg wraps over his own. The warmth of your slick pussy lingers at his hip. You prop your head up with your fist while your other settles along his chest, busying itself with the tufts of hair there.
“That was, like, really good,” you praise with a sheepish beam. You wish you knew bigger words that might be able to describe it better. Really good doesn’t come close to explaining how heavenly it felt to come in his mouth, for him to come in yours. “You certainly lived up to all the rumors, Harrington.”
“You say that like we’re done,” he chuckles at your conclusive tone.
Your eyes flit from his face to his softening cock lying limb on his thigh, then back to his face again. You arch a skeptical brow. “No?”
“Not even close,” he shakes his head defiantly. His honey eyes flit between the both of yours. “I need to fuck you, babe, I just… I need a few minutes. If that, you know— If that’s okay with you…”
“You just give me life-changing head. So, yeah, I think I can give you a couple minutes,” you promise with a playful, but not insincere smile.
Even after having his mouth on you, and your mouth on him, you still like kissing him the most.
No amount of pleasure can sate the feeling of having him so close in this way. There’s nothing equally gratifying as sucking his bottom lip into your mouth or feeling the wet muscle of his tongue running itself over your own. You’d be more than happy to kiss him like this until sunrise.
Steve’s hands stay locked on either side of your head while he pries your mouth open with his own. He’ll occasionally pull back to admire your spit-slick, kiss-bitten lips for a moment or two. Then he’ll flash you a smile, like you’re a piece of finished artwork he’s happy with, before pulling you back down again.
You lean just over him, elbow digging into the pillow beside his head as you rest your weight on your arm. That hand twists itself within the strands of his hair, fingers lazing in the chestnut halo on his head. Your other migrates down his body, touching him with feather-light grazes to coax him hard again. 
His stomach tightens when your nails sweep over the thin trail of hair there. His stiffening cock twitches where it lazes along his inner thigh.
“Top or bottom?” the boy mumbles between languid kisses. His eyes flutter open long enough to catch the brief flash of confusion on your face. You don’t stop pressing your lips to his, even amid your uncertainty.
“Like bunks?”
Steve sputters a laugh against your mouth. He pulls away so he can look at you. “No, like— I meant, do you wanna ride me? Or would you rather lay down?”
“Oh. Shit. Sorry,” you stammer quickly. You figure the question must’ve puzzled you because no guy has ever asked before. This kindness is still a tad bit foreign. “I just— I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s okay. It was cute,” Steve assures with a smile so soft it has to be sincere.
“Um… I don’t— I mean, I don’t know. Is that, like, something you want me to do?”
His right hand leaves your face to find his cock. He wraps his fist around himself, pumping slowly to keep himself hard for you. “It’s whatever you want, okay? Promise. I just thought it might be easier for you if you were on top. So you can take things at your own pace and everything.”
“Yeah,” you affirm within a heavy exhale. You feel yourself growing wetter at the mere thought of being on top of him like that. You nod until the words catch up with you. “Yeah. Okay.”
It isn’t your first time being in this position, but something about straddling Steve’s hips feels foreign. You’re starting to notice that most things you do with him feels that way — new and strange and alarming. Even the most innocent things, the mundane shit you’ve done a thousand times before, it’s all brand new with him.
You twist your hand behind your back to unclip your bra. Steve watches you with wide eyes like you’re doing some sort of magic trick. When you toss the piece of fabric somewhere on his bedroom floor, he spits into his palm to wet his cock.
His eyes flit from his hand, to your glistening pussy hovering just above his lap, to your face. “You can, uh— You can rub yourself on me, if you want. You know, to get it wetter. I don’t have lube or anything. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I’m…” you trail off. I’m more than wet, you’d almost said. That felt a little too overzealous, though, so you settle on telling him: “I’m okay.”
“You’re still on the, um, the pill, right?” he wonders, feeling a bit lame for remembering something you’d said in passing so long ago.
You complained once that birth control made you feel crazy. You said it affected your mood so drastically sometimes that it didn’t feel worth it to take. That was weeks ago. A brief conversation you’d left in the Family Video parking lot. 
You nod wordlessly in reply.
Steve holds the base of his cock to keep it steady for you as you pierce yourself with it. 
Taking his blushing head was the easiest part. The sensitive tip slips so effortlessly into you, just bulbous enough for you to feel it but not enough to stretch you out. It’s a Goldilocks just right sort of feeling that has low moans crawling from the depths of your throats.
Down, down, down a couple more inches and that’s when the ache starts to set in.
His girth stretches you in an unfamiliar, but no less satisfying way. As good as it feels, the burning sensation is a hard one to ignore. It’s like a fire, a distant one. It’s sort of like reaching your hand toward a flame while your brain screams at you to not get any closer.
It’s a lot like that, actually.
Your brain cautions you about taking him any deeper than you have now lest he might totally split you in half.
“Sorry— Sorry. I’m sorry,” you sputter suddenly, a little embarrassed that he’s only a couple of inches within you and you’re already having so much trouble. With your chin tilted towards your chest and your eyes squeezed shut, you refuse to meet Steve’s concerned gaze. “It’s just… It’s kind of a lot.”
“It’s okay,” he assures quickly. He rubs two soothing hands along your hips and fights back the urge to thrust further into you. You don’t see the gentle smile he looks at you with your eyes closed. “Take your time.”
A little over a minute and a pep talk later, you finally build up the courage to sit on him fully. Come, you can do it, your inner voice spits at you. Stop being a baby. It’s just a penis, don’t be such a bitch. 
Your face scrunches when you slide slowly down upon him. Steve expects you to stop and take a break for anothera moment like you’d done just before. He’s more than surprised when you try to take him completely.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You don’t have to— holy shit, babe— don’t hurt yourself— fuuuck.”
You breathe out a heavy sigh of relief when he’s finally sheathed within your pulsating pussy. A lazy, lopsided smile makes its way to your lips, delirious with pleasure and pride. 
Both of you exhale faraway moans at the new feeling, heads falling back on their own accord. You’re already more than gratified and you haven’t even moved yet. He’s reaching parts of you that most guys don’t on their best day, making you feel full without trying. Even without his thrusting, the minuscule twitches of his cock are already driving you toward an orgasm.
“Can I tell you a secret?” you ask him suddenly, smiling lazily at the ceiling. 
Steve’s adams apple bobs as he swallows. Then he nods.
“I’m already really fucking close,” you confess with a breathless laugh, face crumbling under the weight of your pleasure halfway through.
Steve chuckles, then groans quietly. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I am, too.”
You laugh together and your coinciding embarrassment fades like an ebbing tide. The intimate confessions affirm what you were already more than aware of — that the both of you are just a couple of lovesick idiots who are head over heels for each other and in so far over your heads that you can barely breathe.
You’re spurred on by the sight below you. Steve’s wild hair and amber eyes and swollen pink mouth make you ravenous. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip, looking like the sight of you makes him hungry too, as you start to grind your hips over his lap.
He guides your rhythm with two wide hands on your hips. Your pace is slow, every roll of your hips is experimental, and he revels in every second of it.
You start by rocking back and forth over his lap, then by moving in small circles to add stimulation. When get more confident, you lift yourself up and down over his cock. He’s able to hit your most sensitive spot that way. Steve seems to like it too, because you feel the subtle jerks of his responsive cock.
He accommodates your every move — thrusting his hips in time with your bouncing, then flexing them to reach as deep as he can within you.
“That’s it…” Steve murmurs, mostly to himself. He’s not exactly trying to praise you, but his words send lightning strikes of pleasure to your pussy anyway. He keeps babbling to himself. “That’s it, baby. Take it. Just like that…”
You support yourself with your palms on his hairy chest when you double your efforts on top of him. Steve groans at the lewd sound of your slick thighs clapping over his lap every time you move down on his cock. Your cunt quickly drenches his lower stomach and the small thatch of pubic hair just below it.
You too easily forget that fucking is a marathon and not a sprint. 
You overexert yourself quickly in your attempt to rush toward an orgasm and the effects of your sudden fatigue make your legs feel numb.
“Sorry,” you apologize breathlessly when you’re bouncing slows to a stop. You collapse to your elbows, nose nearly grazing Steve’s, as you swivel your hips slowly over his lap. You try to laugh at yourself. “My legs are just getting a little tired… I haven’t done this in a while if you couldn’t tell.”
Steve smiles sympathetically up at you. His hands leave the plush of your hips to cradle your jaw. He gazes at you with a stern sort of gentleness. “Stop apologizing. You’re good,” he promises, then pulls you softly down to peck your mouth.
He rolls his hips up into you and grunts when it makes you whine. “So fucking good…”
Steve tells you to tuck your knees further up his torso and you obey without thinking. You tuck your face into his shoulder and let him cradle the back of your head with one hand while the other settles on your ass. 
He grips you there rather shamelessly, fingers digging into your plump skin, while he bends his knees behind you. He plants his feet on the mattress and thrusts up into you without warning. 
His pace is already a relentless one, having no need to work himself up to a rapid pass as you had. Being basketball team captain has done wonders for his stamina, it seems. He drills up into you and keeps drilling into you without tiring. 
He keeps you securely pressed against him all the while and you relax into his embrace, happily letting him fuck you in his own delicious rhythm as he’d done for you.
The new position stimulates you from all angles. Steve’s hard cock pounds into your weeping pussy. Your swollen clit catches the coarse hair on his taut stomach with each of his thrusts. Your pebbled nipples drag along his furry chest.
It leaves you a whining, writhing mess on top of him.
“You like this?” he murmurs in your ear through broken pants. 
He’s partly teasing you. He knows you mustlike what he’s doing to some degree because you’re moaning something fierce into his neck, peppering too sweet kisses in between your pretty whines. But he also wants to know that you like it. He wants to hear you say the words.
He feels you nod against his shoulder. “Yes...” You sigh, then whimper. “Yes, yes yes—”
“I knew you did,” he affirms. You can hear the smile on his face. You’re not sure if he’s mocking you or not. You’re not sure if you particularly care either. 
His stubbly jaw grazes your cheek when he turns his head to press a kiss to the burning skin. “Knew you’d like it… Takin’ my dick like a fuckin’ champ, babe.”
“Wanna be good for you,” you confess against his sweat-slicked skin, your voice high and wet like you’re close to crying.
Steve tugs at your hair, not enough to hurt you, just enough to pull you from the refuge you’d sought in the nook of his neck. He finds that your eyes are glassy with unshed tears, brows pinching and swollen lips softly agape. His amber eyes are just as wild, heavy with hunger.
“You are good for me, baby,” he promises and seals it with a searing kiss to your wet mouth. He means it in more ways than one and prays you understand. “You’re so good for me… Fucking perfect, babe— shit—”
His cock twitches in your snug slick when you clench around him. He tightens the grip he’s got on your ass and spreads you wider to pound harder into you. You hope his scorching touch will leave bruises come morning. You want to remember how it felt to have him touching you this way.
“Steve…” you sigh, helpless.
“Hmm?”
“I’m gonna…” you start, then whimper when you feel the familiar pleasure start to crescendo once more. It takes a moment for the words to return to you. “I’m about to come.”
“Touch yourself,” he blurts.
Your lidded gaze widens. You peer down at him, bemused by his sudden request. “Huh?”
“Touch yourself for me,” he repeats, groaning when the request makes you tighten around him. “Want this to be good for you, too.”
He says this like you’re not already in heaven. You listen to him anyway, though, and squeeze your hand between your slick bodies to find your sensitive button. You rub at your clit until your thighs tremble around his waist. You try your best to ride through every bolt of lightning the pleasure shoots down your spine, despite the distant fear that you won’t be able to weather them.
“Yeah, there you go,” he praises lowly. “Keep rubbing your clit for me…”
Your free hand stays locked in his hair. Your grip tightens within the chocolate strands as you near your peak. Steve revels in the ache, groaning into your shoulder when the burn at his scalp spreads. 
You’re already gut-wrenchingly close. You can feel the coil in your belly tightening, a struck chord crescendoing — and then Steve changes the angle of his hips. He flexes them suddenly and his thick cock probes something much deeper inside of you. Something that’s never been touched before — not by another guy or a toy or you.
It’s tender, and much more sensitive than your clit. Your vision strays for a brief moment as a white-hot flame of pleasure makes you jerk against him. You gasp sharply, then forget how to breathe when a moan gets caught in your throat. Your hand stills between your slick bodies as you freeze on top of him.
The wet cry finally spills from your mouth after several long seconds. It’s as long and delicate and wet as the orgasm you gush around Steve’s cock.
The flame burns red hot just before you come, then turns to simmering embers when your cunt numbs from the intense pleasure. You blink, and suddenly the fire is burning blue. The rest of your body becomes a casualty to the inferno.
“Yeah? Is that the spot, baby?” you hear Steve wonder. He murmurs the words in your ear, but you don’t hear them. They sound muffled and far away. 
You hope he doesn’t expect you to answer. You’re not entirely sure if you can form words anymore, or any actual conceivable thoughts. All you can do is suffer through every overwhelming wave of your orgasm that leaves you a crying and convulsing mess on Steve’s lap.
“Holy fuck—”
The boy slams his hips against you with a final, dense clap that sounds deafening in the quiet of his bedroom. Your gushing and fluttering cunt milks his cock. The feeling of your weeping pussy and the sound of your pretty whines throw him headfirst into his own orgasm. His thrusts still as he twitches within you. A moment later, you feel the subtle tingle at the base of your spine when he spits his come inside of you. 
His come paints your welcoming, rippling walls. It’s warm, like the first sip of coffee in the morning or fuzzy socks on cold feet. It blankets you in a sinful comfort.
Steve noses at your cheek while he rides the high of his climax. He rolls his hips slowly into you, much softer now that his cock has grown so sensitive. He clamps his mouth shut between his teeth to stifle his too loud moans and desperate whines. They’re forced to crawl from his throat as suffocated grunts.
You mourn the loss of not seeing his face while you’re tucked so securely into the nape of his neck. It’s a work of art you can imagine so clearly — his pinched brows and scrunched nose and parted lips. But you relish in the searing hold he has on you now, happy to hold and to be held.
The shuddering is slow to subside, especially from you. The aftershocks of your orgasm keep your hips spasming over his lap. Steve groans into your shoulder every time your pussy quivers around his softening cock.
And then the two of you just lay there. You hold onto each other and try to catch your breaths. With the both of you covered in a fine sheen of sweat, your skin sticks together with every tiny movement. The feeling of it makes you smile. You feel like the two of you really are melting together.
Steve’s fingers part from your wild strands of hair and take to tracing the expanse of your damp back. You hum in contentment at the feeling, nuzzling your nose up and down the right side of his neck. 
The moment is melted ice cream and early morning rain and marshmallow fluff. It’s spring mornings on the porch and warm breezes in the fall. It’s a soft and familiar thing that’s still so, so new.
You think you could spend forever here, if you had to. In Steve’s bed and in Steve’s lap and with all of Steve’s languid touches.
But sex is different when you’re an adult. 
When you’re a teenager, you get to be irresponsible. Carelessness sort of comes with the territory. You have sex in a dirty bathroom of a bar you snuck into and don’t think twice about the implications of any it. But as an adult with bills and a nine-to-five and groceries you’ve got to get once a week, all you can think about is how inconvenient a UTI would be.
“I should probably use the bathroom,” you murmur, already grieving the loss of his touch before you’ve even parted from him. 
You leave the safety of his neck to peer down at him. His heavy lids mirror your own. 
“I have this thing where if I don’t piss after sex, I feel like I’m gonna be, like, cursed or something. Kinda like when you break a mirror and you’re stuck with shit luck for seven year— or however that dumb superstition goes,” you ramble, voice heavy with fatigue and lingering pleasure. “Anyway. Yeah. Plus, I should probably clean up, too.”
Steve breathes out a laugh at your sudden prattling but humors you nonetheless.
Somehow you manage to pry yourselves off of each other — you, feeling significantly emptier without him inside you and Steve, already shivering with the lack of your warmth all over him. 
You separate just long enough for him to wet a washcloth in the sink while you piss just a couple feet away from him. The bathroom connected to his bedroom seems to be a foreign sight for you — a least, that’s what he assumes because you rave so enthusiastically about it the entire time. 
It’s all Steve’s ever known, though, so he finds it difficult to do anything but nod along with your rambling. More than anything, he’s glad you’re not as weighed down by the domesticity  of the moment as he is. Because he, for one, feels a little like he’s been hit by a freight train. 
Perhaps spending so many years all alone has made him sensitive to closeness.
You sit on the marble countertop and rest your forehead on his shoulder while he cleans you up. He runs the warm cloth along your delicate folds and wipes away traces of your slick and his come that glisten on your thighs. He pleats the rag and does the same to his softening cock and surrounding skin. 
It feels so strangely intimate, more than the sex somehow.
Steve tugs on a fresh pair of boxers and gives you a faded Hawkins Phys. Ed tee to change into. The loose fabric and baggy fit feels much more familiar than the costume you’d initially arrived in. He might be happier than you are, though, to finally get to see you in your most natural state — makeup sufficiently smudged away and ill-suited clothes forgotten on his floor. 
You crawl beneath the mussed navy comforter of his bed and smush your face into his pillow. “See? The dino sheets aren’t so bad, are they?” the boy teases when you hum in contentment. 
The mattress dips beneath his weight as he settles in beside you.
You smile but don’t open your eyes. “I’m just sleepy… Sue me.”
“It’s barely nine o’clock, grandma.”
“It’s your fault,” you argue, voice dripping with exhaustion. Your skin purrs as he reaches blindly beneath the covers to rub his palm along your forearm.
He grins softly to himself. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. You wore me out, Harrington.”
“I’ll make it up to you in the morning, ‘kay?” he promises, then laughs when you smirk and raise your brows — eyes still shut. “Not like that, you perv. I was talking about breakfast. I make a mean scrambled egg.”
You tell him you’re looking forward to it, to breakfast in bed and breakfast in bed. He falls further for you somehow, despite his lingering disdain for your silly little innuendos. It’s the price you have to pay when you love someone, he figures, like when your crush gets a bad haircut or has shit music taste. 
It’s a quirk he welcomes along with your many others — your rambling and forgetfulness and social unawareness and inability to sit still. All your little idiosyncrasies weren’t obstacles he had to get over to love you, just more reasons for him to.
And it isn’t this one-sided thing, either. Most people would look at the two of you — at the dowager king and local freak — and they’d think he was doing charity work to love you. But Steve’s got peculiarities of his own. 
His best friends are a fourteen-year-old nerd and a closeted lesbian because they were the first two people in his life that didn’t judge him. He chews on the ends of pens and pencils, and his handwriting is shit because he never cared about school. He buys things without ever looking the price tag, then leaves them to collect dust in his room because he never really needed them anyway. He still feels the need to be the center of attention sometimes because the faintest hint of disregard makes him feel neglected.
These are all things you’re aware of. Most of them came with being the wealthy, popular kid from the right side of the tracks. And you liked him anyway — no, you liked him because of them. You adored him through all the heavy shit, and here he was, doing a shit job at pretending to like metal music and horror movies.
“Are you asleep?” Steve wonders after a few moments of velvet silence. He’s still looking at you, one arm propped beneath his hand and the other toying with your fingers splayed on the mattress between you. He hasn’t been able to stop looking at you.
“Almost,” you mumble in response.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
Your heart stops at the innocent question, tired eyes flying immediately open and knocking you out of your fatigued stupor. 
All of a sudden, it’s 1984 again. You’re the weirdo who bites people and Steve’s royalty who’ll fuck anything that walks — and here you are, in bed with the asshole. For a moment, you expect Tommy Hagan to bust out of the closet with a tape recorder and for Steve to tell you this was all just some stupid bet.
It’s a pang of blue lightning, an ice pick to your abdomen, that lasts no more than a couple of seconds. 
Internally, you curse yourself for getting so worked up. You make a promise to yourself to work on all that — the regressing and the disbelief that comes with the not-feeling-good-enough bullshit.
“Yeah?” you finally answer.
“I don’t actually like Dio. Or Def Leppard,” he confesses, finding it hard to meet your gaze  like a child who’s been caught in a lie. He focuses on running his thumb over the irregular pattern of your chipped nailpolish. “And I don’t collect vinyls either, not really. I just… I kinda just said those things so you’d like me.”
And, compared to the web you were just spinning in your head, that’s nothing.
“Ooh,” you wince playfully. “Def Leppard I could take, but Dio? I don’t know… That might be a dealbreaker, Harrington.”
He only smiles because he can tell you’re making fun. “I could learn to like them, you know? If it means that much to you. That’s what we’re doing now, right? Loving things on purpose?”
You capture your smile with your bottom lip between your teeth. Your eyes sparkle at him when you nod. “Yeah… We are.”
“Which means you could learn to like football and Bruce Springsteen,” Steve jokes and shifts on the mattress so he’s closer to you. 
Your feet bump together, then entwine effortlessly. He plops his head on the same pillow you’re using. The proximity leaves your faces no more than a couple inches apart. 
You scrunch your nose, wondering if you should hide your disgust in his playful request or make a joke out of it. You don’t do either. “I could… If it means I get to keep you.”
“Keep me?” he scoffs. “Good luck, getting rid of me, Punchy.”
“Who said I wanted to, huh?”
“You will. When you get sick of me.”
He’s smiling like he’s kidding, but you can tell there’s an edge of self-loathing to his tone. 
Your hand crawls from beneath his own and settles on his stubbly jaw. You run your thumb over the cheek, effectively sealing your promise into the blushing apple of it. “I’m never gonna get sick of you, Steve Harrington.”
His brows raise. “No?”
You shake your head against the pillow, then shove the side of your face further into it when you get nervous. There’s a timid quirk to the corners of your lips and a more sheepish glint in your eye. “You don’t get sick of people you love,” you tell him.
Steve opens his mouth to retort. He wants to tell you that he gets sick of Dustin all the time, but that it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love the little shit. He gets sick of milkshakes and pizza and Cheers re-runs when he consumes too much of them in a single setting, but he loves all those things too. 
You get sick of things because you love them, he reasons, because you love them too hard and you hate how much you need them.
He doesn’t get the chance to argue any of this, though.
“Not when you love them on purpose,” you clarify with a sunshine-coated grin.
That shuts him up real quick.
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zorosleftshoe · 1 year ago
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You’re Losing Me - (c.b)
Pairing: Colby Brock x fem!reader
Warnings: ANGST (fluff at end)
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“I can’t find a pulse,
My heart won’t start anymore,
For you”
“Colby, please!” As if he could sense the exasperation in my voice he lightly pinched the bridge of his nose and looked up from his now cold dinner.
“What do you want me to do? You know what you signed up for when you got into this relationship. I’m sorry that it’s not what you wanted.” His words were like venom as they from his lips. Those blue orbs I had fallen so in love with never once reaching mine as we sat across from each other picking at our plates.
“You’re what I want, Colby. But you can’t even look at me anymore. Do you even know the color of my eyes? My favorite song? Movie?” I paused waiting for some sort of response. My face shifted in disappointed as I realized he had no intention of responding to my rapid fire questions. “Do you even love me anymore?” Finally his ocean eyes met mine and they were filled with a fire I had never seen before. This was not my Colby.
“Of course I do. Why would you even ask me that? Why would I be with you if I didn’t love you?” His eyes fell back down to plate in front of him and the conversation was over. “There’s a party at Amber’s tomorrow. We should go.”
“As a date?” Colby shrugged at my question as a frown settled on my face. “Okay. I’ll go.” Colby grunted in response but went back to lazily picking at his dinner. With a frown on my face and a crack in my heart, I stalked to the kitchen where I spent the next few hours wondering whether Colby still liked the color red.
~~~
“If you’re asked a question, give vague answers. Otherwise, smile and nod.” Colby said in that cold tone he always used when he was speaking business. My heart plummeted as the feeling of our date being a simple business matter to him settled in. Colby knocked on the door twice before Amber opened it in a tight little black dress.
“You made it!” She squealed before throwing her arms tightly around my boyfriend’s shoulders. A red tint crept onto my cheeks as I watched Colby eye her hungrily. Out of embarrassment I tugged lightly at the red trim of dress thinking of how next time I’d wear black.
Colby immediately separated from me to go find Sam who was nursing a glass of whiskey with Nate by his side. The party raged around us as everything moved in slow motion for me. Colby’s head thrown back deep in laughter with Sam’s hand clasped on his shoulder. The lights around us changing from blues to reds. Or was it purple? My eyes tunneled in on Colby and I felt my heart begin to race.
“What are you doing here?” Amber’s voice pulled me from the darkness consuming my thoughts and I forced a smile onto my face.
“Colby invited me.” She nodded before looking at brunette across the room. Her hand lightly came to hold mine as she gently turned my head to face her.
“Do you consider me your friend?” She waited for my response and when I nod to reassure her she continues. “You give everything to Colby. What does he give to you?” I opened my mouth to speak but when the words didn’t come out Amber’s honey eyes softened. “You deserve someone who looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars.” Her words crippled me as I recalled Colby and I’d conversation from the day before.
“Do I throw away everything we have? I,” my eyes linger over to the man I had fallen so madly in love with and the weight on my chest causes my breath to hitch. “I love him so much it hurts.” Amber sighed before pulling me into her arms.
“That’s not love, honey. I can’t tell you what to do; I won’t tell you what to do. All I will say, is that there has to be something better out there. Someone who won’t leave you alone at a party to drink by yourself.” Tears cascade down my cheeks at her words and she uses the pad of her thumb to swipe them away. “Love yourself the way you love him.” She presses her glossy lips against my cheek before squeezing my hand and stepping away to greet more guests.
~~~
“Say something!” Colby groans as the front door slams behind us. The party now forgotten as my heels and his jacket are discarded on the door. “Do something!” Sadness oozes from my voice as I beg the man I love to fight for me. “Please!”
“What do you want me to do?” He throws his arms out in defeat as more tears roll down my tearstained cheeks.
“How can you say you love me when you don’t even see how miserable I am?” He scoffs before sulking off to the kitchen. I follow hot on his heels and watch as he cracks open a bottle of Jack and pours a glass. “Don’t ignore me, Cole.” He places the glass against the counter before looking up at me with tired eyes. “I wore your favorite dress. I put on my cutest set of lingerie. I,” I pause at a loss for words. “I only ever wanted you to see me. I can’t do this anymore.” His head snaps in my direction at those five words.
“What?”
“I can’t do this anymore, Colby. I’ve tried everything to keep you happy. I’ve done everything to keep you happy. This just isn’t working anymore. I love you so much it’s killing me and you don’t even see it.” Colby pushes himself from the counter and takes a few steps towards me as I take a few back as a counter measure.
“So you’re not happy. We can fix that.” I scoff sadly at his words and finally look up into his eyes.
“There’s nothing to fix!” Colby takes a step back at my outburst but quickly moves closer to block me. “Tonight was the final blow. I can’t continue to give my everything to you just to get crumbs in return.” Reluctantly, I reach up to touch his cheek and he remains unfazed. “I love you. This isn’t because I don’t love you. You have to understand that. I. Love. You.” With that, I retract my hand from the warmth of his body heat and head to our shared room to pack my things.
~~~
The trees around me blew happily in the breeze as I sat snuggled up in my scarf on the park bench. Children’s laughter filled the air as they ran around the playground kicking up mulch in their trail. My heart warmed as two little hands tugged on my hand.
“Mommy?” I lean down to reach her height and watch as she points to the swing set. “Swing.”
“Of course, my little explorer.” As the little girl pulls me towards the swing set, my eyes meet those ocean blue eyes that I once knew better than the world and my breath hitches. “Amelia, let’s go, sweetheart.” I say softly as I gently tug against her grip.
“But mommy, I want to swing!” Ocean blue eyes widen as her words fill the air around us and my lungs deflate. “Swing! Swing! Swing!” I kneel down towards the small girl and put on my best smile.
“I’ll bring you tomorrow and you can swing first thing. What do you say?” She giggles before taking my hand once more and allowing me to lead her towards our car.
“Wait!” His voice fills my ears and tears well up in the corners of my eyes. “Please.” This time his plea is closer and when I turn to look I’m met with his blue eyes. “I would like to talk.” Colby glances down at the small child who is now peeking from behind my legs and then back to my widened eyes.
“I don’t think we have anything to talk about.” I attempt to turn around but his hand catches mine. My eyes fall to our entwined hands before I look back up at him.
“How old is she?” I shake my head at his question. “How old is she?” Once again I shake my head and he turns to the small child. “How old are you?” He asks sweetly and I watch as she gives him a toothy grin and holds up three fingers. Colby looks up at me with a look of bewilderment and I close my eyes. “Do you mind if I talk to your mommy?” I feel Amelia let go of my hand and I open my eyes slightly to see her running back towards the slides. “She’s mine, isn’t she?”
“What does it matter?” Colby sighs before testing the waters again and lightly grazing my hand with his pointer finger. “Colby.”
“It matters because I never got a chance to say what I needed to.” I shrug before looking back towards the small brunette child that has those same ocean eyes. “I love you. When you left four years ago I should have came after you. Instead I let you go because you were right. I didn’t pay enough attention to know you were so unhappy. You deserved someone who could just look at you,” he paused before taking my other hand and looking into my tear filled eyes. “And say I love you more than anything in this world and I’m willing to wake up every day and prove that.” A sob escapes my lips and he gently swipes his thumb under my eye collecting the fallen tears. “Stay and let me show you I love you.”
“What if you change your mind?” Colby chuckles lightly before craning his neck to close the gap between us.
“I will never allow myself to lose you again.” He leans forward and presses his lips against mine. His hands find my waist as my fingers tangle in his hair and I pull him closer to my body. Colby sighs happily against my lips and I take the chance to swipe my tongue against his bottom lip. I pull away to catch my breath and Colby presses his forehead lightly against my own. “I love you.”
“I love you, Colby.” Children screaming brings us back to our surroundings and I see his eyes light up.
“Can I meet my daughter?” I giggle happily before taking his hand in mine and leading him towards the small girl who was sliding down the slide.
“Our daughter.” Colby’s lips twitch upwards into a smile at the two words with his hand never leaving mine.
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koszmarnybudyn · 10 months ago
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The four horseman.
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I have thoughts so here's a rant:
Normal is conquest/i think its illnes or something (its zaraza so plauge where i'm from) because the Oaks brought the doodler about (plus he's the one that brought it to heaven with willy so started the apocalypse), plauge cause the Oaks also have the doodler in their blood and its an "infection" (he's also the stinkiest lol). He has the black eyes he got after seeing what the doodler wants, the purple in his eye is for love and hate, and the blue is there cause that's his signature color and again love. The crown is made of tentacles and also have the eyes (red to symbolize hate and the rage the Oaks carry). I tried to potray him slightly Jesus and Mary like (its so wierd writing that in english), and of course he has the white cloak (i did not draw horses because im bad at drawing horses and i didnt want this to take half a year to make). He and Scary are the ones turned straight to the camera because they are the ones that are the most important doodler wise. Also them being white and black paralleal.
Taylor is war because well i just thought it fit him best, (also he gets the sword then), and i made him look demonic. I dont have much to say about him unfortunetly because this was honestly a struggle. He does parallel with link though in their demon and angel designs.
Link is famine, i feel like hes the one to give up the most, hes been denied his sustanance (love) and as the series progresses he gets more nihilistic because of that and gives up, i feel like famine fits that. He also gets the scales because hes a judge (he condemned his father and he forgiven Scary) and because of the goddess of fairness. Like everyone he gets the eye treatment (i love eye motifs what can i say, also please notice how everyones eyes are diffrent cause that was also a struggle) but i also incorporated the angel motif (yes every link i draw in an au has to get the angel motif i just like angels and well he is a protector and is trying to be good, but then "falls" (cause many deaths) and becomes jaded) the angel thing is also there because he has spent a lot of time in heaven (and he has that generational catholic quilt ya know). The eyes are orange and yellow because that's the colors i usually give him but also because the're golden and sun like.
And of course our seeker of darkness-Scary as death. I contenplated making Link death and her war but i finally didnt. She is partially inspired by that one painting of Mary staring into the viewer as shes holding the corpse of Christ (maybe its silly but my little dramatic heart thinks of Scary summoning the doodler and Marys story to be similar, and just a pretty cool concept you know), and partially just death depictions. She was the first one i finished and probablly still my favorite. She of course has the most purple (i thought about making everyone purple to fit the backround but that would have been a hassle). The whites in her eyes are a nod to the doodler summoning again.
Oh and of course the backround, it has tentacles for thr doodler and doves for innocence because idk if you noticed yet but i am obsessed with religious symbols and also because i think the teens are just teens and they are not quite to blame (and neither is the doodler)
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respectthepetty · 4 months ago
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Who is Jo?
It's only the fifth episode of The Trainee but I feel confident about who is the Blue Boy since I learned more about him this episode.
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Ryan is a chill Green Guy who helps everyone including Pie in the very beginning of the episode by changing the copy paper and helping her. This hasn't changed.
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Pie is still being her red passionate self now that she is assistant director for the music video.
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Pah is still the yellow and orange odd one out.
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Judy is still a sophisticated Black Brooder, and Mee is an evolving Pink Person.
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(who gives her crushes pink donuts, so can Judy get one already?)
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But the focus of this episode and post is about Jane!
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We got to know more about him, and my original theory about him seems to be correct because I believed Jane was the Blue Boy since he seems cold and distant but everyone overlooks how dependable and loyal he is.
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And once Ryan steps into Jane's apartment, it becomes even more clear that nobody really knows (Blue Boy) Jane.
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(Sidenote, to be honest, I'd be Purple Person Ja, and not just because of the hair. I have beef with authority figures for no good ass reason. I need no reasons to dislike management, supervisors, admin, or anyone with power, so I ain't mad at her for talking shit about Jane every chance she gets)
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Not only are Jane's curtains that shut out the rest of the world in the apartment that he intentionally selected since it's so close to his job blue.
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But Ryan learns that Jane doesn't eat spicy food after Jane makes Ryan dinner in his blue pot.
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And much like Pie's red bag, Mee's pink purse, and Ryan's green tote, Jane's bag has blue on it.
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But what makes me really believe Jane is a Blue Boy is his behavior.
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It seems like Jane has a box of shooting schedules (or storyboards) right at his front door that Ryan has to push a bit to get through, which much like the location of his apartment reinforces that his job is his life. (unless those are bills, then those bills look odd, and boy is about to be evicted)
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Jane's movies are in alphabetical order (however, he alphabetizes "The" which should not be done because article adjectives a, an, and the should be omitted in alphabetizing, but . . . it's his personal collection, so do you, boo boo)
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His album collection seems to be displayed by color connection (black, white, red) since I spotted Kodaline's 2022 album Our Roots Run Deep, Coldplay's 2002 album A Rush of Blood to the Head, and the 1980s Japanese rock band, Southern All Stars' Tiny Bubbles.
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And the real kicker is Jane's favorite movie seems to be Mary is Happy, Mary is Happy, which is a Thai film about a creative girl who has to go up against her power-driven headmaster to get the yearbook produced as she encounters all the chaos that comes along with being a teenager.
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And even his coworker (boss?) stated that Jane has the director's eye but he had a bad experience as an intern. Jane is talented yet guarded, which is very Blue Boy of him! Also, this book is free in the Archive and amazing!
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So even though Tae has a blue phone and his blue headphones with a blue emoji heart to match Mee's pink heart as a he thinks of her with a pink background,
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My money is on Jane being the Blue Boy since taking care of a Green Guy comes natural to him.
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But the real point of this post is to ask "Who is Jo?" Is he the boss? A helpful office worker? Both? Because he is the only one who interacts with all the staff and actually notices all of them. He knew Pah was Pah when he was pretending to be Tae. He realizes Judy is amazing. He knows where the number for the copier tech is. He takes care of the fish.
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Is he the original Ryan?!
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