#like maybe we can just check the math that the government does

[3-aem]

I spent 3 hours this morning doing the final master trial level in botw and died on what was apparently the last level of it i am just gonna draw gojo nobody talk to me ever again

[auroralwriting]

poker face

spencer reid x fem!bau!reader

spencer and you go to the casino to find the unsub. you think he looks pretty hot playing poker.

word count: 2.0k

warnings: making out, gambling, poker face spencer aghhh

"Forensics got a fingerprint match on the last victim. Eddie Langdon. We're looking into him." You said as you walked back into the office that held some of your team members.

Hotch came in behind you, "Hey, any luck?" Emily asked.

"No, they don't want to allocate agency funds for the buy-in. I'm still working on it." Hotch replied, looking down to his phone as he got back on another call.

Rossi chuckled, "Well, I can't imagine why not. We're only asking for fifty thousand bucks of taxpayer money so that FBI agents can play Texas hold 'em."

Emily eyed Rossi, "Hey, what about you?"

"What about me? What?"

"You could stake us the buy-in." Emily smirked.

Spencer sat down next to you, "Yeah, you're a best-selling author."

You nodded enthusiastically, "Don't forget a best-selling author and longtime FBI agent. You could loan us the money, or something."

"No," Rossi shook his head.

"Why not?" Emily frowned.

"One, it's against regulations, and I'd like to hold on to this job for a little while longer." Rossi began.

Under your breath, you muttered, "It's just a little violation, 's all."

Rossi just rolled his eyes at your comment. "And two, I prefer to spend my money on actual things, like single-malt scotch, a fine cigar, beautiful artwork."

"Poker chips are things!" JJ replied quickly with a smile.

Rossi just scoffed as Spencer spoke up again. "Maybe just think of it as like a new experience. I mean, at your age, how often does that happen?" Oh, no he didn't.

"At my what?" Rossi slowly turned his head to Spencer who just gulped and awkwardly looked away.

"Rossi, this may be our only chance to get this guy." You said slowly. "They government isn't going to give us the money. You're our only way to catch this killer. Please?" You paused for a moment. "And if it helps, you can just write a new book to get some more cha-ching."

Rossi sighed, "All right, fine. But I'm ignoring that last comment. I'm a decent poker player, but I can't promise that I can stay in the game long enough to--"

"You know what?" Emily interrupted. "I bet you're a great poker player, but what if we sent in Reid?"

"I am banned from casinos in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and Parump because of my card-counting ability." Spencer commented as if it was the most casual thing in the whole world.

You raised your hand slightly, "Why did I not know this sooner?"

"Look, I know I'm not a genius like the boy wonder here, but poker is not Blackjack." Rossi argued. "It's about bluffing, reading human nature, head games. It's not math."

That's when Spencer stood up, "That's not entirely accurate. There actually is a mathematical equation for knowing when to raise and when to fold. If P represents the size of the pot at the time of play, then P times N minus one, with N representing the estimated number of players in the final round of betting--"

"Okay! Fine, I surrender!" Rossi cut Spencer off quickly. "Just try not to lose all my money. Actually, you know what?" Rossi quickly spoke your name. "Take her with you, I don't want you losing all my money and if she needs to interrupt the game, then so be it."

Your eyes widened, "Rossi, I've never stepped foot into a casino in my life."

"You'll be fine!" Rossi waved it off as Spencer gave you a comforting look.

Oh, this was not what you expected at all.

Spencer and you had to get checked by security with the handheld metal detectors. Yours didn't go off, but Spencer's did. He played it off as just a pen. Thank god they accepted that.

The two of you walked in. For someone who stared at dead bodies and killers all day, this was the most nerve wracking thing you'd experienced in a while. It also didn't help that Hotch decided you and Spencer were to play a couple when you had such a big crush on him.

"Hey," Spencer muttered, "It's okay."

"Just nervous," You replied under your breath. The two of you made your way to the bar. Spencer got himself a drink, and you got some champagne. "Is it really just math?"

Spencer nodded, "Math, and a little bit of luck."

The moment you felt Spencer take your hand, you tried to pull away. "Spencer, what about germs--"

"I don't mind your germs, you're my friend. Plus, we have a part to play, remember?" Spencer muttered, locking his fingers between yours. Your heart pounded as you did the same.

"I'll observe as you play," You muttered, remembering the list of things you needed to look for to find the unsub. "I know you don't need it, but good luck."

Spencer smiled at you, the comment being just so sweet and innocent. "Thank you." You looked so nervous, so out of place. It made Spencer notice you more.

Spencer had taken a seat at a table, which you stood behind him, leaning over his shoulder. Your hands rested on the back of the chair. So far, no one caught your eye, until one man at another table did. Casually, you poked Spencer and he caught onto your stare.

"You know, would it be all right if I sat at table two instead of four? I have a pre-glaucoma condition and the light's kind of bothering my eyes." Spencer called over the employee, who took him to the desired table.

The men didn't just eye Spencer as he sat down, you noticed they eyed you too. Defensively, you wrapped your arms around Spencer's neck from behind. "Ah, I'm calling." One of the men said."

"I'll raise." One guy said. You stared at him, noticing his red eyes. Weird. "Eight thousand."

"Eight thousand.. That's, uh, fifty-six months wages for the average person in Bangladesh." Spencer commented casually. In reply, you giggled and played with some of hair, pushing it out of his face. Spencer hoped you didn't feel his face turn hot under your fingers. "Uh, kind of makes you think, doesn't it?"

"Hey, it's eight thou to you." One guy remarked. "Now, are you in or are you out?"

Spencer sighed, "I.. am in. And I raise."

"Three raise? That's too rich for my blood." The guy sighed. One man, the one who raised before Spencer, bored holes into him.

"Are you in, sir?" Spencer asked.

"I'll call."

"Call?"

Spencer flipped his cards, "Straight."

Based on everyone's reactions and Spencer's coy face, straight was a very good thing. Playing the act, you kissed Spencer's forehead and squealed lightly, deciding to stroke his cheek for a moment. "A gut shot straight draw? Are you kidding me?"

"That is just-- that is nuts."

It was no wonder Spencer was banned from casinos. Spencer's poker face was good. He simply just covered his mouth after a moment and stared, watching everyone's reactions. His hand slowly ran down to his chin, and in that moment, it did it for you. Sure, Spencer was your cute little nerd, but he'd never been so hot to you.

You noticed next to the man who was staring, he had an eight ball keychain. "Hey, mind if I look at this?" You asked, reaching for it.

The man was quick to grab your hand hard. Spencer jumped into action, pulling you from him.

"Hey. What's the problem, sir?" An employee asked.

"She's reaching for my chips!"

"I'm not even in the game," You remarked.

The employee grabbed your arms, "You need to come with me."

If Spencer's eyes could've gotten any wider, they would've popped out of his head. "Hey! Don't manhandle her! She can walk, let go!" Spencer ripped the mans arms off of you and pulled you into his chest. "Come on, love. Let's just go."

Spencer's words caused your chest to tingle as he guided you away. You watched as he clicked the call-device, it lit up red. The look on the mans face, your unsub, was clear. He knew.

You met up with the team as you were lead out the doors, "They're FBI agents," Hotch informed the guard.

"There he goes, plaid shirt, baseball hat." Spencer pointed.

After searching the whole casino, the unsub made a break for it. His name was Curtis Banks. You and Spencer were sent to his house to see if he was there. After a quick search, it was clear he wasn't there.

"Hey Hotch, he isn't here. There's a foreclosure sign in the lawn." You informed your chief.

"All right, you and Reid stay there in case he comes back." Hotch hung up the phone.

You shrugged to Spencer, "And we wait."

After a beat of silence, Spencer turned to you. "At the casino, you couldn't keep your hands off of me after I won." Spencer said out of nowhere. "Your physical proximity was close, you frequently stared at me--"

"I was playing my part," You argued.

"Yeah, too well." Spencer pointed out. "Were you checking me out?"

Heat rose to your cheeks, "No. Why would I do that?"

"Look at me and say it," Spencer demanded, but his tone wasn't harsh. It was simply just firm. "You won't look at me."

Slowly, you turned to look at Spencer, "I wasn't checking you out."

"You can't look me in the eyes. You've never not looked me in the eyes." Spencer continued.

"Stop profiling me," You tried to end the discussion. It was clear Spencer had caught you. You weren't interested in being turned down, especially when you were in some sort of steak-out with the genius.

Spencer frowned, "I'm not profiling you. I'm just telling you as it is."

"That's what profiling is," You countered. "We don't need to have this conversation. Was I checking you out? Yes, I was. Is that what you wanted me to say? That you looked so damn hot winning thousands of dollars with your best poker face while you let me all over you?"

Spencer said your name, but you kept rambling. It took him grabbing your chin and forcing your face closer to his to make you stop. "You think I'm hot?"

"Yeah," You stuttered. "Yeah, I do."

Slowly, Spencer trailed his finger over your bottom lip. "I always thought you were the most gorgeous girl I'd ever seen."

"Where's this confidence coming from?" You asked.

Spencer shrugged, "Gamblers frequently experience a phenomenon called the 'winning high,' it releases dopamine and adrenaline, making gamblers do riskier things than they'd normally do."

"You gonna use that high to kiss me?" Your voice was a mere mutter. Your lips were just grazing Spencers.

"Is that what you want?" Spencer lowly asked.

"What do you think?" You retorted.

Spencer's lips slammed onto your own, harder than you expected. His large hand had the back of your neck, and he pulled you impossibly closer. It was hot, just how you wanted it. Flimsily, Spencer reached to the bottom of his seat to scoot it back. His hands went to your hips, guiding you to move across the seats to his lap.

"You know, we're still on the lookout." You mumbled, pressing another kiss to the genius's lips.

"They haven't called us yet." Spencer challenged, hand running down your back to your waist.

Slowly, Spencer's hand began to creep up your shirt, just to your navel-level. His kisses descended to your neck, pressing opened mouth, warm kisses to your skin.

"Spence," You whined, grabbing his hair to push him closer. He sighed in reply.

You both jolted when your phone began to ring. You grabbed it quickly, "What?"

"Ooh, someone's frisky." Derek teased over the phone. "We got the guy. You two are all good to head back."

"Thanks, Morgan. See you back there." You hung up the phone, tossing it back to to your seat. "Looks like we have to wrap this up."

Spencer smirked, "We fly back in the morning. We'll find some time soon."

Spencer's words weren't a tease, they were a promise.

[kkpwnall]

if it wasn’t for bad luck i wouldn’t have luck at all

part two | rated t | 4k words [ part one ]

all my thanks and love for @fragilecapric0rnn for beta reading again. thanks for your help, and for kindly correcting my silly mistakes 💜

Eddie catches all the not-so-subtle winks Dustin throws him every time one of the kids wheedles details about the next campaign out of him, or Robin gets him going on government conspiracy theories, or Steve cracks him up with a bitchy remark.

The kid’s about as subtle as a train full of cowbells crashing into a packed clown car.

But he makes it seem so easy, to just… be their friend. Too easy. As if Eddie doesn’t have a lifetime of reasons not to.

Against his better judgment, slowly but surely, they’re eroding his finely-honed walls. Growing like moss, like ivy between the cracks.

The kids barge in one day arguing at full volume. Steve trudges in behind them and drops into the crummy plastic chair closest to Eddie’s bed, the one usually occupied by Wayne or Dustin. Well, when Dustin’s not going toe to broken toe with his friends over—

“We can’t split the party under these conditions!”

[ keep reading below, or read on ao3 ]

Steve heaves a ragged sigh, and Eddie watches as if entranced by the complicated movements of Steve’s fingers as he alternates pinching the bridge of his nose and massaging over his eyes.

He looks wrung out. When was the last time he got a decent night’s sleep?

“So someone has to pull double duty. We’ll draw straws and rotate every week,” Mike says, like he’s being the pinnacle of reasonableness. Whatever it is, Eddie’s sure he isn’t.

“That’s not fair! We should just pull someone off and make them exempt. Like Nancy or El, someone we need on more useful things.”

“What the hell are you little gargoyles arguing about?” Eddie reaches for his DM baritone and comes up short. Maybe his diaphragm got rearranged with all the rest of his guts.

It still works to cut through the kids’ argument though. Steve shoots him a grateful look.

“We’re trying to decide what everyone in the party would do in the inevitable zombie apocalypse,” Mike hurries to explain.

“Inevitable..?” Eddie glances out the window he can just barely see from his position on the bed.

It’s been weeks since they wasted Vecna, with no sign of his sorry ass returning. No blood and ash raining from the sky, no earthquakes splitting the town apart, and definitely no zombies.

“Yeah, ‘cause see, if we’ve got El on recon, Nancy and Lucas take point with ranged weapons. Argyle’s in charge of foraging and cooking—”

Steve groans and slumps back in the seat as the kids pick up steam again. He’s so dramatic, Eddie can’t help a snort of laughter he covers with a cough. Steve’s got a hand splayed over his face, from his jaw up into his hairline, like he can block out the whole world. Or at least this one conversation.

With hands like that, maybe he can...

“But someone’s gotta stay back and guard the base! And you can’t have one person on watch, what if they fall asleep or get attacked or—”

A stupid little smile curls over Eddie’s lips as he watches Steve out of the corner of his eye while the kids keep arguing.

“We’re thirteen people now, Mike! There’s no way to divide watch shifts evenly between thirteen people and twenty-four hours in a day! Even Holly can do that math!”

Eddie whips around as reality drops on him like a load of every perfidious brick this group has worn down over the past couple weeks.

“What did you just say?”

Dustin gives him a disappointed look, “C’mon, Eddie, I know you of all people can do this math. Thirteen—”

No way. Absolutely not. That cannot possibly be correct. It has to be a mistake. It has to.

Eddie does a headcount, checking them off on his fingers hidden under the thin hospital sheets to double check their math. Someone got counted twice or not at all.

His three Hellfire gremlins plus Lady Applejack and Red. Nancy and Robin and Steve round out the Hawkins crew. Add in Supergirl and Zombie Boy with their whole “saving the world” schtick for an even ten, and now he’s really starting to sweat. Then there’s Jonathan and that guy Argyle. Plus Eddie makes…

“Oh my god, I’ll do it! I’ll be the designated hitter,” Steve half-shouts. The kids just stare at him blankly, and he sighs dramatically, rolling his eyes so hard Eddie’s surprised he doesn’t black out from it. “I’ll take the double shifts in your make believe zombie apocalypse. Happy?”

Steve’s hand, the one that was covering his face, sits warm and heavy over the sheet covering Eddie’s trembling hand. Eddie has no idea how or when it got there, or if Steve even really registers where it’s landed. Not exactly holding his hand, not with the sheet between them, but definitely there. Something to focus on that’s not how he already died and he’s still being fucking haunted by the spectre of his birth.

So no, he’s not happy, and neither are the gremlins. They immediately start shouting over each other to argue with him.

“Out!” Steve starts to rise from the chair, leaning his weight on Eddie’s hand and points at the door with a snap. “Get out! Go bother Max and Lucas with this shit, or I’m not driving your sorry asses back here tomorrow.”

And just like that, Dustin ushers them out, still grumbling and arguing. He shoots Steve a look, but Steve glares him down with a hand on his hip.

The door slams behind them and it’s finally, blissfully quiet.

“Jesus Christ with those kids,” Steve mutters as he reclaims his seat, “It’s like they can’t shut up for five minutes.”

Eddie is silent next to him in the bed, and he’s pretty sure if Steve’s hand wasn’t on his, it’d be shaking. The rest of him is. This clawing, aching, tingling vibration just under his skin. The tremor is coming from inside the house.

He knows better than this, he knows better, what the hell is he thinking.

He needs to stop fooling around and get his act together, or with his luck, there really will be a zombie apocalypse and all of these people will be casualties of it. All because of him.

“Sorry,” Steve says, sheepishly. “This is like, your room. I shouldn’t’ve kicked them out if you wanted them here. You just... you looked like you needed a break.”

“Yeah, I— yeah, it’s fine,” Eddie says on a rough exhale. Takes a steadying inhale. And judging by the bags under Steve’s eyes, “Looks like you could use a break yourself, man.”

“They’ve just been arguing about that stupid zombie apocalypse shit for hours!” Steve throws himself back in the chair and launches into his own rant.

One hand gestures wildly, digging through his hair and underscoring his words, while the other stays where it’s been planted, gently covering Eddie’s. Twitching and flexing occasionally.

He lets Eddie catch his breath. He gives him enough space that Eddie could slip his hand free, could pull away without making a big deal out of it. He has to feel Eddie’s hand by now, he has to. But he doesn’t move away.

Eddie doesn’t move away either.

He doesn’t have a good reason not to. In fact, he’s got nothing but good reasons to pull his hand back and let them both pretend like none of this ever happened.

But Steve’s hand is warm and solid over his, even through the sheet. And where would he put his hand anyway? Where would it go, untethered? If anything, it’d interrupt Steve’s flow, and it really seems like he needs to get all this off his beautifully hairy chest.

“—And they’re acting like it’s such a problem we’ve got an uneven number now!“

“Well they’ve kinda got a point. I mean, with thirteen…” Eddie interjects.

Steve flashes him a broad, cocky smile. “Hey, thirteen’s my lucky number.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Eddie mumbles, mostly to himself.

Steve hears him anyway. “No, I’m serious! It’s been my jersey number since I was a kid. Like even way back when I was just playing tee ball. Oh, and get this! Somehow, all through grade school, I was number thirteen on the roll call list. Every year! I mean, that’s crazy, right?”

No, crazy is being pulled out of hell itself by the sheer force of will and determination of a guy whose lucky number is thirteen.

This is just too ironic for words. It’s bordering on absurd.

But Wayne’s always tried to tell him truth is stranger than fiction.

Eddie keeps his mouth shut with gritted teeth, holding back a laugh. Or maybe a scream. Either would land him in the loony bin, because once he started, he wouldn’t ever stop.

“And anyway, the way I see it, our luck’s never been better.”

That unsticks Eddie’s mouth.

“What?” he sputters. “Steve, three people are dead, Red and Henderson both have broken bones, and you got chewed on by fucking demon bats!”

Steve shrugs his shoulder loosely, like it’s just the price of doing business. “Yeah, but we actually figured out who’s behind all this shit. I mean like, everything, since ‘83. Since Will went missing and Barb... We finally got answers. And we closed all the gates now, for good. He’s gone. It’s over. And we’re all still here.”

Steve’s eyes slowly trace over Eddie’s own slightly mangled body. Over the tubes and wires snaking out between the bandages wrapped around his arms. Over the one taped across his cheek, until he meets Eddie’s eyes through his lashes. “We couldn’t’ve done it without you.”

Eddie doesn’t have a clue what to say to that. To any of it. The only thing he brings to the table are nerdy references and loud music and a penchant for getting anyone close to him killed.

But Steve makes all that sound like a good thing. Like Eddie is a good thing.

If he keeps this up, Eddie might almost start to believe him.

Steve clears his throat and releases Eddie from the trap of his honeyed hazel gaze, but not before Eddie sees the rosy pink color starting to tint his cheeks. The same heat rising over his own face.

“Sorry man, we’re doing a terrible job of letting you get any rest today. The kids came in here arguing, and then I just went off like that. I can go, if you want some peace and quiet,” Steve pushes the chair back, and Eddie’s fingers twitch under his hand.

Yes. “No, you… you can stay. If you want.” Eddie grabs the remote with his free hand and waggles it at him, plasters on a smile. “Let’s just watch some tv. Put on whatever you want.”

Steve doesn’t look quite convinced, but he does scootch his chair back closer to the bed. “No no no, it’s your tv, man. I know Dustin’s always stealing the remote.”

“C’mon, seriously…” Eddie thinks for a moment until he lands on, “What did you watch when you were home sick as a kid?”

“Uh no, absolutely not.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“You’re gonna laugh...”

“Cross my heart,” Eddie says, with all the sincerity he can muster.

Steve raises an eyebrow at him, before he blows out an aggrieved sigh. “Alright, look… when I was little, like real little, like younger than the kids, my mom would set me up on the couch with a big blanket with a hot water bottle… And she’d put on General Hospital.”

Eddie presses his lips shut tight to contain his snort of laughter. It still blows his cheeks out though, and there’s a smile he can’t quite keep in.

Steve glares at him, but there’s no heat behind it.

Eddie shakes his head, grinning, “General Hospital it is.”

They surf the channels for a while but can’t find it playing anywhere. Instead, Eddie lands one of Wayne’s old favorite spaghetti westerns, and starts outlining all the tropes of the genre. But it turns out Steve’s grandpa was just as big a fan, and Steve matches him beat for beat as they roast the stilted dialogue.

Eventually, Steve’s eyelids start to droop. His head drops a few times, before he jerks back up, blinking hard. Eddie keeps talking to him, but softer now. Slower. More and more space between each sentence.

Steve’s breath slows and evens out, his chin tucks into his chest and one arm wraps around his stomach. He falls asleep in that uncomfortable hospital chair with his hand still over Eddie’s. 

It’s release day.

It’s finally, finally release day. Marked on his calendar and circled in red. Or it would be, if Eddie had a calendar. He’s never been good at keeping up with those kind of things.

The point is, he’s been counting down to this day for weeks. Weeks. But this is it, today’s the day.

He’s already been denied twice thanks to the government goons.

The first time, he was so out of it on painkillers, he didn’t even realize that maybe he should be taking their questions seriously. That one’s on him for answering everything in character as Samwise Gamgee.

The second time though, he’d bet his remaining guitar on petty revenge. All because he wouldn’t sign their stupid NDA without reading it thoroughly first. Or it could have been his demand for more than a pat on the back from Uncle Sam. Eddie wasn’t about to walk away from this all shit empty handed.

But all that’s settled now. He and Wayne got a modest farmhouse with some land, ready and waiting for them just outside of town. His name’s been cleared and the yokels bought the cover story, hook, line, and sinker. And there’s a stipend coming to a bank account with his name on it every month, as long as he keeps his trap shut. It’s enough that Wayne won’t have to work unless he really wants to.

All the doc has to do is sign his release form, and he’s gone. Eddie is leaving today or so help him—

But it’s not the doctor that comes through the door, or even Wayne.

It’s Steve.

With a “knock knock”, out loud, even as he knocks on the door, peeking around it, and beaming when he sees Eddie.

“Wayne sent me ahead with this,” he drops a hefty duffel bag on the foot of Eddie’s bed. “He and Dustin are just finishing up at the house, they’ll be here any minute.”

Eddie balks a little at that, but Steve chuckles knowingly.

“Don’t worry, Henderson’s leaving with me. I had to bribe him with a trip to the comic book store, but at least it’ll give you and Wayne some time to get settled at the new place.”

“Is it good?” Eddie can’t help but ask. Hates how small it comes out. There’s always a chance the suits decided to screw them over.

Steve answers with one of those soft smiles of his. “Yeah, man. It’s great. You’re gonna love it.”

“Good, good,” Eddie says absentmindedly. He has to tear his eyes away and grab the bag, start rifling through it. All the while trying not to wonder who picked out these clothes and who packed them up and—

“I’ll uh, give you some privacy,” Steve says as Eddie pulls out a heavy red plaid and a pair of sweats.

He pulls the curtain around Eddie’s bed between them, but he doesn’t leave. Instead he asks if Eddie wants the latest (and hopefully last) hospital gossip.

“Uh, duh! I gotta know if Luellen’s made a move yet.”

Eddie wrangles his arms inside the hospital gown and pulls it roughly over his head to throw it in a heap in the corner. Ooo-ing and gasping at all the right moments during Steve’s tales of intrigue.

He has to move slower than he wants to, has to take his time and sit on the edge of the bed, dangling his legs to the floor to shimmy into the sweatpants.

And whoever picked the flannel deserves a goddamn Nobel prize. He’s able to slip it on easily without agitating his remaining stitches or lifting his arms above his head. And once he’s got the buttons done up, it’s loose enough not to snag or cling.

Eddie digs around in the bag again and fishes out a pair of slip-on shoes. They’re not his, not his usual style, and definitely don’t go with this getup. But the worn leather is soft, and at least he doesn’t have to deal with the whole mess of bending over to tie them. Or— god forbid— ask Steve to come over and tie them for him.

That’s an ordeal he’s not sure he’d survive.

Whoever packed this bag is getting a fruit basket.

In a soft purple crown royal bag tucked in on the side, he finds his rings and his necklace, and it makes something in his heart clench. Something slots into place, just by sliding the rings back on his fingers, the pick over his head. Whole, in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time.

Screw the fruit basket, they’re getting a whole goddamn orchard.

Eddie’s been quiet for a long moment, not quite keeping up his end of the storytelling experience.

Steve’s gone quiet too, and Eddie’s not sure how long it’s been since either of them said anything.

On the other side of the curtain, Steve clears his throat, and his sneakers squeak on the tile as he shifts his weight from foot to foot.

“Are you decent?”

Eddie snorts out a laugh. “I’m dressed if that’s what you’re asking.”

He catches the tail end of Steve’s eye roll as he pulls back the curtain. He looks Eddie up and down as he comes around. Smiles softly and gets comfortable on the foot of the bed, one leg folded underneath him.

“Ready to go?”

“You have no idea,” and Eddie has to fight the urge not to throw himself back dramatically on the bed. Damn the stitches.

“Yeah, I don’t blame ya. My longest stay wasn’t even half as long as they’ve kept you, and I was climbing the walls by the end of it.” He rubs unconsciously at the scar running through the edge of his eyebrow.

Eddie does not take his hand and pull it away to soothe the aching memory himself. He doesn’t even think about it, really. Definitely doesn’t have to distract himself with an old habit like sliding his rings off and on his fingers.

“What, unseasoned hospital food doesn’t appease your refined palette?” he teases in a haughty voice.

“If I had to eat one more piece of dry, rubbery chicken…” Steve threatens.

“No way, man, the pork chops are way worse.”

They argue back and forth, ranking the rest of the limited hospital menu on a scale of pudding cups to sawdust, and it’s good, it’s easy.

Until there’s a lull in the conversation, and Steve clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair. Sits up a little straighter, squaring his shoulders like he’s psyching himself up.

“Hey so I was thinking… Maybe once you’re all cleared, I can take you out for dinner sometime? I promise it’ll be better than any of this crap.”

Steve looks so earnest, so hopeful, with that confident damn smile curving his lips and his heavy lidded eyes watching Eddie. His hands flex like he wants to reach for him. But he stays still and gives Eddie his space. Must somehow know Eddie would be even more likely to run if he did.

A tight knot of want and can’t claws roughly up Eddie’s throat and he’s pretty sure he stops breathing.

He has to tell him. Knowing Eddie, being friends with Eddie, it’s dangerous. It always has been. He’s let himself indulge in this fantasy for way too long. He has to put a stop to it, now.

It’s more dangerous than Dustin, than Wayne, than Chrissy. Not just a friend but something— someone more.

“Steve…” who Eddie cannot even begin to think about being anything. He won’t.

Eddie Munson is nobody’s happy ending.

“You don’t want— this,” he chickens out at the last second.

Steve’s smile slowly fades and he blinks a few times. His tongue darts out to wet his lips as his head tilts to the side, considering for a moment. “I think you should let me decide what I want.”

And Eddie wants to scream.

This isn’t about you!

But of course, it is. It’s about him, and every single person that’s come before him, and every one that’s sure to come after him, and everything that has and will go wrong.

The words catch in Eddie’s throat, and he can’t say any of them. So he just sits there, frozen and silent and begging Steve to understand.

Steve looks away and lets out a long breath. Not quite a sigh as he shakes his head. He stands and starts heading towards the door.

He turns back before he gets there though, catching Eddie again in his earnest gaze.

“The real question: is what do you want, Eddie?”

And nobody’s asked him that in such a long time. Every day since he woke up in the hospital has been the same. All of his meals are pre-planned and brought at the exact same time, whether he’s hungry or not, whether he likes the food or can even keep it down or not. His schedule, from when to sleep to when to take his meds to when he does physical therapy, has been out of his hands. And then Dustin shows up with whoever he decides to bring with him that day.

Eddie’s been resurrected, but what choice has he really had?

Part of him, this new part of him born from his death and a second chance at life, is just daring him to see how far he can push his newfound luck. To prove once and for all if the curse really is broken.

Eddie’s never said no to a dare.

Steve turns to leave, one hand reaching for the door, and Eddie scrambles to his feet. Takes a few shaky stiff, baby deer steps forward as he calls him back, “Steve—”

He holds Steve’s gaze for an impossibly long moment, tracing the swirls and whorls and questions in his hazel eyes, his freckles and moles and scars.

Go big and go home.

“How about a kiss?” Eddie asks. “For luck?”

Steve’s face morphs through several expressions so fast, Eddie can’t keep track of all of them. He lands on something incredulous, his lips curving upwards in a smirk even as his eyebrows fall and pinch in the middle at the sheer audacity—

But he crosses the room in two swift strides to stand in front of Eddie. Throws a quick glance at the still-shut door, at his mouth, before meeting his eyes again. Eddie barely starts to nod, and Steve’s lips are on his.

His gentle strong hand around Eddie’s elbow reels him in, pulls him closer. Eddie’s lands on his bicep, and the flex of muscle ignites a frisson of sparks under his palm to race through his bloodstream.

Steve’s other hand caresses Eddie’s unblemished cheek. Like he’s something precious. Something to hold onto, something dear.

As far as kisses go, it’s Eddie’s first.

Soft, sure and confident, the kiss is everything Eddie could have ever dreamed of. Hurried— not as in frenzied. Hurried as in greedy. Desperate to steal the breath from his lungs before he’s even noticed it’s missing.

Eddie kisses Steve back with equal fervor, trying to pour everything he has, everything he wants, everything he fears into the movement of his lips, the sweep of his tongue.

Eddie’s hand joins Steve’s on his cheek, keeping him close. An anchor in the tsunami flooding his senses with everything Steve. Cherry lip balm and hairspray, fresh laundry, and the musky hint of sweat underneath it all. It’s intoxicating. Incomparable. Incredible.

And Eddie’s just gonna blame the weeks-long hospital stay for how fast he goes weak at the knees.

Steve’s sure, steady hand in the small of Eddie’s back guides him slowly backwards until his thighs hit the bed again, and he sits hard, breaking the kiss with a gasp.

Eddie reaches for him, eyes wide and staring up at Steve through his lashes, hooking his fingers through his belt loops. Two steps away is too far but Steve wastes no time crowding closer to stand between Eddie’s legs. He gently tips Eddie’s face up with a featherlight touch and kisses him deeply while Eddie holds him firmly by his hips.

Consuming and consumed, devouring and devoured. Wanting and wanted.

When they come up for air, Steve swoops back in, once, twice, and a lingering third time, like he’s reluctant to stop. And Eddie strains his neck to meet him kiss for kiss.

Steve finally pulls away just far enough to sigh breathlessly against his lips, “Is that all you want, Eddie?” His eyes screwed shut tight.

No. Eddie wants everything. For now though, he’ll settle for– “Somebody said something about dinner and movie?”

“Oh so now there’s a movie, huh?” Steve says, but he’s smiling and nudges his nose against Eddie’s.

“Don’t go thinking I’m a cheap date now, sweetheart,” and Eddie’s smiling too. Smiling too much for more than quick kisses that skate across their lips.

With each peck, Eddie schemes how to get Steve’s lips on his again. How to keep him. Keep him safe.

They break apart when the sharp clack-clack of heels echoes down the corridor from Eddie’s room, heralding the doctor’s arrival.

Eddie was born under a bad sign. But maybe here, in this new life, he can make his own luck. 

[ also on ao3 ]

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Quitting Time

Warnings: sciatica and chronic pain, sexual harassment, and some possible unmentioned triggers.

Character: Tony Stark

Summary: You're stranded at the office with an unwanted companion.

Request for song Time Comes in Roses by Bess Atwell.

As always, I appreciate all kinds of feedback. A like and reblog means so much to me! <3

You check your watch. Subtly, as to not let on your impatience. You sit at a table among several other executives and your fearless, if not relentless leader, one Tony Stark. It’s after nine o’clock. You’re not impressed.

“Government contracts are bullshit,” Caswell leans back in his chair with a haughty snort, “private contractors all the way. If it works for hospitals–”

“Private contracts will use that shit to con old ladies into the hospital,” Tony retorts.

“You’re the only hold out, Stark, we all have a share.”

“I’m Tony Stark and I have the ultimate say,” Stark insists as he leans a hand on the table, fingers spread wide, “and I’m not the only one. If you stopped talking for one second you’d know our fifth member hasn’t given her vote.”

Caswell rolls his eyes, almost his whole head. You run a manicured nail along the edge of your leather folio.

“I agree with Stark.”

“Teh,” Caswell scoffs, “of course she does. Bootlicker.”

“Excuse you, I’m the only reason he didn’t send missiles to Canada.”

“I still might,” Tony kids.

You fight to suppress your agitation. You can’t stand this stiff chair much longer. As the years go by, these meetings grow more and more unbearable. Not just the politics but the endless inactivity.

“Three against two, we still have the majority.”

“Add your shares up, Cas,” Tony snaps, “you can do the math, can’t you?”

The three men groan and snort and spit in disappointment. None of you hold enough shares to override the CEO. The board is a farce, truly. A shell to give an illusion of equity and ethics. You don’t know why you ever wanted to sit at the boys’ table, it didn’t do much but give you sciatica.

“Now, I was due for a neat scotch about twenty minutes ago so if you would excuse yourselves, I got some catching up to do,” Tony dismisses with a clap.

You exhale, letting the tension ease from you. Home, your bed, maybe even a hot bath before you settle down with a wine to help you sleep. 

The other men rise, pushing their chairs against the table with unrestrained frustration. You push yourself up and close the leather folder around your tablet. The rest of the board wastes no time in fleeing, a few muttered words towards Stark as he fiddles with his phone.

You bend your legs and grab your purse, a groan escaping your lips as you straighten once more. That twinge in your hip makes your leg buckle. You put a hand against the table and right yourself.

“Everything good there, primrose?” Tony peeks up above his cell.

“Good,” you assure him, refusing to react to the name he often hurls at you. Better than tight-ass you suppose. 

You strut slowly to the door and another pang shoots up your back. You catch yourself against the transparent wall and curse. Couldn’t hold out just a few minutes longer? Just another layer peeling away with the erosion of age. As if you’re not acutely aware of the silver strands and the thin lines around your eyes.

“You sure about that?” Tony nears and touches your arm, “old tennis injury?”

“Mmm, something like that,” you push yourself away from the wall and try to take another step. You trip as your hip radiates with agonizing fire, “fuck me.”

Tony chuckles and catches you. He casually snakes his arm under yours and around your back, directing you to one of the chairs as he spins it around. He helps you sit as you drop onto the seat with a growl.

“Take a minute, prim,” he tucks away his phone, “I’m sure the old man can wait.”

Your eyes list away derisively. You reach down to knead your lower back. You tilt your head against the leather and cluck.

“I just need a minute. I can let myself out. Don’t want to impede on your scotch tasting.”

“Speaking of, I think a shot might do you well, huh, primrose.”

“No, thank you,” you stretch out your leg and whimper. Holy shit, you feel your hip click against your tailbone. 

“You sure? Come on, let down your hair for once.”

You give him a look, the one that withers most men. He only laughs. He pulls out another chair and sits. His eyes watch your left hand as you bring it up to rest in your lap.

“Thought you were hitched, prim.”

“Engaged. Not anymore.”

“Ah, too bad. Makes sense though, not a lot of guys go for the no-shit kinda gal like you.”

You puff out and grip the arms of the chair. You need to go. You can’t stand his arrogance. It’s just making you tense up even more.

“So, you’re not married, not promised, does that mean you’re single?”

“It means I’m not looking,” you rebuff.

He snickers again. He’s always amused by you, even as others squirm. You swipe your hand across your forehead and blow out another breath.

“You know, I give great massages,” he offers, “had a masseuse, she showed me a few things. Lots of things actually.”

“Ugh,” you curl your lip.

“I could loosen you up, prim, get you back to operating. Kind my specialty, you know? I bring things to life with these very hands,” he presents his fingers, admiring them himself.

“You’ll only make it worse,” you snip.

“Maybe? But uh, you’re not looking too good. So, I’m thinking there’s two options here. You let me rub you down a bit. You get a little bit of relief and I finally get to answer that eternal question that’s been floating around all these years.”

“What’s that?”

“If you’re really a cyborg under all that,” he tweaks a brow, “my money is on no but you know, Harvey is really convinced–”

“What’s the other option?” You bark.

“Well, the other option was my original offer, scotch. Double would do, it’s a vintage.”

You scowl. He’s right in that you don’t have much of a choice. You’re too scared to try standing again. Not yet. 

“Scotch,” you answer bluntly.

“Great,” he snaps his fingers and stands, “once we get some of that in ya, I’m sure option one will look a lot better.”

“You’re not touching me, Stark,” you growl as he sweeps around the chair.

“We’ll see about that,” he calls back as he struts out the door.

[havendance]

No Man’s Land Event Timeline

I am of the opinion that more people should write fic set in No Man's Land, but considering it's like, 80 issues long (not counting the lead up) I've made this timeline to make it easier for people who don't have time to spend like a month reading comics. (And also as a reference for myself. So, ever wondered what went down in No Man's Land? This is for you.

(For a timeline of comics that made up the event you can check the other timeline I made here)

(Also available to read on AO3 for your convenience)

Part 1: The Quake

Before we actually get to No Man’s Land Proper, we need to get some facts down about why it happened in the first place. Which means we’re going to be touching on Batman: Cataclysm. (The Batman: Contagion event (where Gotham got hit by a plague known as the Clench) also happened prior to this and contributed to No Man's Land being a thing, but this timeline is already long enough as it is so we won't be going into detail about that.)

In late June/early July, at 7:03pm, a quake 7.6 on the Richter scale hit’s Gotham

While we don’t know the exact date, Batman chronicles #14 reveals that it’s before July fourth.

When the quake hits:

Bruce, Alfred, and Harold are all in the Batcave

Dick is in Bludhaven

Tim is on a plane flying back to Gotham

He’s just resolved to open up to his dad. That doesn’t actually happen.

Helena Bertinelli (a.k.a the Huntress) is in a subway car

Stephanie is at the mall

Catwoman is breaking into a building

Azrael is handing Bane off to the GCPD (Bane gets away)

After the quake dies down:

A number of prisoners escape Blackgate (including Cluemaster)

Lots of people die

Batman, Robin, and Nightwing all run rescue efforts. Huntress and Catwoman are also shown helping out

Alfred and Harold work to repair the manner and clear the batcave 

Batman runs around in a bat-monster truck (Not particularly plot relevant, but it looks cool)

Bruce works tirelessly both as Batman and Bruce Wayne to try and aid rescue efforts, pour in relief funds, and convince business owners to remain in Gotham

Part 2: The Abandonment of Gotham

Bruce goes to DC to speak to congress in hopes of securing federal aid for Gotham

However, giving aid to Gotham is *wildly* unpopular and he fails

An executive order declares Gotham No Man’s Land

The city is given 48 hours to evacuate before they blow up the bridges. People with a criminal record are not allowed out.

Later comics reference Black Monday which means that presumably the government gave Gotham a weekend to evacuate.

In Batman: No Man’s Land Secret File #1, it’s revealed that the bridges were blown at Midnight on New’s Year’s Day

(Personally, I don’t think this date makes sense, largely based off of vibes, but also partially based off of dates given later. It’s the perennial comics retcon at work. Regardless, since it’s a solid date, I’ll be calculating later dates based off of it. I think I’m also going to have to make a timeline that I don’t hate where I just ignore this though)

During this Jim Gordon tries to get a job outside of Gotham before discovering that he’s a laughing stock outside the city and deciding to stay in No Man’s Land instead

Barbara Gordon also decides to remain in Gotham

Part 3: No Man’s Land

We open 93 days after they blew the bridges

While vibe-wise, it feels like late fall/early winter to me, based off of the New Year’s day Black Monday date, it’s April 3rd. (Yeah, I don’t think the date makes any sense, but I like numbers so I’ll keep doing the math.)

The next time check in we’re given is 127 days in. It’s noted that it’s the tail end of the Winter. (Date wise this would be May 7th)

(Look, maybe weather’s just different in New Jersey, but May does not feel like the tail end of winter to me.)

Status Quo:

Batman is who knows where. None of his allies have seen or heard from him.

We later learn that he went on a Bruce Wayne guilt bender and tried to bury his guilt over failing Gotham in partying.

Oracle is based out of the clocktower. She gains intel through a network of informants and food by using her knowledge of the city’s fallout shelters.

Jim Gordon is running what remnants of the GCPD remained in No Man’s Land along with his wife, Sarah Essen. He’s currently angry with Batman for disappearing and will remain so for some time.

Helena Bertinelli is both operating as Huntress and has recently taken up a Bat-themed mantle. She calls herself the Bat, but she is later referred to as Batgirl.

Though not mentioned in the opening salvo, we later learn that Leslie Thomkins remained in No Man’s Land and is operating a medical aid camp clinic place thing.

We also later learn that Alfred Pennyworth spent his time up to this point wandering around Gotham, helping people out, delivering at least one baby, and raising moral through storytelling and performances.

Outside of Gotham:

Nightwing is facing the usual combination of corruption and crime in Blüdhaven.

Robin has moved to Keystone City with his dad.

Stephanie Brown is approximately 7-8 months pregnant and living in the Gotham area outside of the No Man’s Land zone.

Azrael is doing stuff I guess? I think he’s chasing down some villain dude? Look, does anyone really care about Azrael?

(Note from future Havendance: Okay, so No Man’s Land actually made me care some about Azrael)

Catwoman. I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you what Catwoman’s up to either. She’s not in Gotham, I can tell you that much.

100 days into No Man’s Land (April 10th), Batman shows back up. (Alfred Pennyworth is with him). The GCPD take back Old Town (I think? It’s the part of Gotham with the clock tower). Barbara and her father are reunited.

Before the next timeline checkpoint various things happen:

Azrael enters No Man’s Land

Batman begins working with Batgirl

Batman makes a deal with the Penguin to establish himself back in Gotham and gain information

Batman makes a deal with a former enemy (Lockup) to get Blackgate prison up and running.

Black Mask is locked inside, taking him off the map.

Barbara Gordon discovers that there is someone else operating as Batgirl

Superman shows up for a day to try and lend a hand.

127 days into No Man’s Land (May 27th). The tail end of winter. A lot of politics/land war stuff goes down.

Pre shuffle map:

(Unfortunately, I don’t believe their’s a post-shuffle map)

The Penguin makes a deal with Two Face to get at Batman. The GCPD makes a deal with Two Face to get at the Penguin’s territory. The end result is that Two Face takes Batman’s territory and the GCPD take half of Penguin’s territory.

Meanwhile, Outside of No Man’s Land:

Stephanie Brown gives birth

The Drakes move back to the Gotham area

Dick Grayson enters the police academy, hoping to root out the corruption on the force from the inside

As a result of all the politics/land war shuffle up:

Two Face hires David Cain to try and kill Jim Gordon. He’s stopped by Batman with the help of Cassandra Cain (currently without a name).

Batman finally admits that he can’t take care of the city on his own and calls in help.

Batman fires Helena Bertinelli from Batgirl for not adhering to his impossibly high standards. He gives the mantle to Cassandra Cain.

Also around this time, Jim Gordon punches Batman in the face. Which isn’t particularly plot relevant, but I thought you should know.

Once everyone’s assembled (Around day 189 (July 7th))

Azrael and Batgirl are sent to take down Nicholas Scratch — a charismatic radio personality who pushed for No Man’s Land to be a thing in the first place, now in the city and causing trouble.

Nightwing is sent to take control of Blackgate back from Lockup. He succeeds but gets beat to hell and has to be nursed back to health by Barbara Gordon.

Batman and Robin investigate Poison Ivy’s hold on Robinson Park. They find that she and the orphans she’d taken under her protection have been imprisoned by Clayface and end up working with her to take him down. The end of this storyline is noted to be the first day of summer.

( Side note here, officially, the first day of summer is on June 21st, which would put the start of No Man’s Land back before the New Year’s date. And honestly, July feels way too late for the first day of summer, but I don’t know why I’m trying to get a consistent timeline out of comics in the first place. *sigh* I’ll just stick a timeline that I think works better at the end of all of this.)

Around this time:

Jim Gordon attempts to break off his deal with Two Face. Two Face does not like that, and as a result he takes Rene Montoya and her family hostage.

Helena Bertinelli, now back to the Huntress mantel, teams up with Petit who broke off from the GCPD for being a little too into shooting people.

Catwoman is recruited by Batman to steal some discs with data on them that he says is vital to restoring Gotham. She succeeds but then proceeds to sell the data to the highest bidder. At this point in time, it’s unclear if Batman ever gets the data.

Side note, but apparently before all this, she managed to get elected the mayor of New York and then had to fake her death by having Catwoman push Selina Kyle off a building. It all sounds wild. Maybe I should be reading the Catwoman comics…

Bane enters Gotham, recruited by a mysterious outside influence (Later revealed to be an agent of Lex Luthor). He’s apparently no longer on venom? Idk, I don’t really care about Bane. This timeline is somewhat biased in case you couldn’t tell.

Robin gets in the middle of a three-way battle in the subway between the Ratcatcher, Mr Freeze, and two guys whose names I don’t remember. He ends up sick due to a nasty combination of rat bites and sewage (excellent sickfic potential, that’s all I’m saying)

Side note: in this story, we learn that apparently a bunch of Tim's old classmates are larping as their DnD characters in the sewers of No Man’s Land which is one of those details I feel compelled to share with you.

Also at this time, Stephanie’s mom learns about her being Spoiler and tells her to stop.

Batman teams up with Lynx to take down a gang in Chinatown that’s enslaving people to generate electric power.

Harley Quinn shows up for the first time, dating the Joker.

Bane blows up Gotham’s Hall of Records.

Meanwhile, the Street Demonz hit up Two Face’s territory, capturing him and nearly executing him via hanging before Batman and Robin save him for… reasons. I’m honestly not sure why. Because Two Face is too popular of a villain to kill I guess.

A later retcon says that Batman actually blew up the hall of records? For reasons that are also unclear? Whatever.

Superman visits Gotham again, this time helping people out in civilian form.

Killer Croc makes a move on the Penguin’s territory. He’s stopped by Robin (still recovering from his illness) and a temporary alliance between the Penguin and the GCPD.

During this story it’s also revealed that it’s been about two weeks since Tim and Dick entered Gotham.

However, this should be taken with a grain of salt since also in this story, Rene Montoya is shown to be back with the GCPD which, as I’ll get to in the next bullet point, implies that months must have passed since he entered.

Tim also calls his dad and lets him know that he’s in No Man’s Land. This leads to his dad calling his senator and the fact that Tim’s in No Man’s Land becomes a national news story.

Note: We’ll be coming back to this.

Two Face kidnaps Jim Gordon and holds a trial for him regarding the deal they previously made. Despite the fact that Two Face is literally the only person running the trial, Gordon is found Not Guilty. As a result of this trial Rene Montoya and her family are freed and Two Face is arrested, taking him off the map.

Look, please just read Batman #572 and Detective Comics #739. A summary does not do this justice.

Timeline wise, the trial reveals that Rene has been held by Two Face for five months. This would be at minimum, three full months and two parts of a month, meaning between 120 and 150 days have passed. This would put us between day 300 and day 330 of No Man’s Land. I’m going to assume day 300 since our next check in is day 312. Going off the New Year’s day zero date, this would put us in Late October.

Following this, Jim Gordon and Batman finally make up.

Catwoman re-enters Gotham and hands off the data to Batman (An event so important that it’s shown in near-identical detail in *three* separate comic issues. I’m not annoyed.)

This retroactively pushes Batman contacting her and her whole heist deal to happen circa day 300 of No Man’s Land.

At an unclear point in the chronology, while Barbara’s nursing Dick back to health, Petit’s faction attempts to kidnap Barbara. Huntress is initially aiding him, before turning against him (temporarily).

Our Next solid date Day 312 of No Man’s Land (November 8th):

Lex Luthor enters Gotham and begins to rebuild as part of a larger plot to gain control over Gotham.

The Joker begins making plans

Huntress is finding herself chafing more in her partnership with Petit

Roughly day 323 of No Man’s Land, an executive order is signed that will No Man’s Land on January 1st (the one year anniversary)

During the last month of No Man’s Land:

Lex Luthor and the government lead various rebuilding efforts

Azrael and Batgirl assist Batman in going up against the Joker a couple of times

Catwoman spends time messing with Lex Luthor

Batman convinces Bane to leave Gotham. We learn that he was apparently promised rule of Santa Prisca by Luthor in exchange for his services.

Christmas Eve (And at some point in the night, Christmas Day) — shit hits the fan.

The Joker makes his move, attacking Petit’s territory. Petit and many of his men are killed by the Joker. Huntress makes a final stand, nearly dying at the Joker's hands before Batman and Nightwing show up and chase the Joker away.

The Joker also kidnaps, like, all the babies in No Man’s Land, and also sets up a bunch of bombs, sending Batman and his allies racing on a search across Gotham

Sarah Essen (Gordon’s Wife) is shot and killed by the Joker

December 31st (and at midnight January 1st)

Sarah’s funeral happens.

Batman thwarts Lex’s plan to own all of Gotham with the help of Lucius Fox

No Man’s Land ends.

(Whew, that was like 2000 words of timeline.)

Appendix 1: Just how long did Tim spend in Gotham?

(Yes this timeline has appendices. I’ve put far too much thought into everything)

But wait! Remember how I said we’d come back to Tim calling his dad? That time is now. At some point in this timeline, pressured by public opinion, the president issues an executive order to extract Tim from No Man’s Land. The thing about this plot point is that I have *no* idea when it happens. It could happen anywhere between three weeks after Tim enters No Man’s land (so about day 210) to December.

If we go solely off the Robin comics, roughly two weeks after Tim enters No Man’s Land, he becomes a major new story and an unspecified amount of time later (though one that feels short) he is extracted. (The grass is green and there are leaves on the trees in the art implying summer or early fall at the latest).

However, in the main bat comics, Tim is shown popping up here and there in supporting roles until literally the end of No Man’s Land. We do know, at minimum, that Tim is out of No Man’s Land in time to spend Christmas Eve with his dad (before somehow sneaking out and into No Man’s Land in time to help out with the whole chasing down the Joker drama). There’s a panel where they sort of vaguely make a reference to the fact that Tim has been sneaking into No Man’s Land to help out Batman, but no indication as to how long that’s been going on.

So, in conclusion. Tim is extracted from No Man’s Land whenever is most convenient for whatever story you want to tell. I think in my personal timeline, I’d put it at roughly day 300 after the Batman and Gordon reconciliation to have it line up with Luthor putting PR pressure on the government, but honestly canon is so contradictory on this point that it could go any way.

Appendix B: My Personal Ideal No Man’s Land Timeline

So, as mentioned above. I will accept the New Year’s Black Monday date for some canon purposes. That doesn’t mean I have to like it. My ideal timeline (a.k.a the one I’m going to use when I end up writing fic) would end up extending No Man’s Land so that it begins earlier and lasts longer:

Late October/Early November: Day zero of No Man’s Land

Batman enters on Day 100 so roughly February

Day 127 of No Man’s Land (The land war, tail end of winter) lands in late March

Day 189 (Bats assemble, First day of summer) is placed in late May (a little early, but we can go more metaphorical here)

This is about where those extra months I added go, during all the vague Bat stuff that goes on before Luthor enters Gotham

Luthor still enters Gotham in November

All the Christmas stuff goes down the same. 

No Man’s Land still ends on New Year’s Day for the symbolism.

[pyroclastic727]

Owl House said fuck capitalism

So this episode was interesting. Lilith pretty much killed her sister. Why the fuck would she do that?

Even more interesting: why is Belos like that? How did Hooty put his head through one of those guards? Who the fuck is the Titan, and why does everyone like him? And how are these all tied together?

This episode was a metaphor for capitalism

...and another delicious step towards radicalizing the youth into dismantling this fucked-up neo-feudal system.

We’ll start with Belos. 

Emperor Belos is a weird name, don’t you think? We all thought it was spelled “Bellows,” but it wasn’t. In fact, it’s five letters, starts with Be, ends with os, and describes a megalomaniac emperor that restricts people’s freedom in order to accumulate wealth for himself.

Sound familiar?

Emperor Bezos Belos created capitalism. He saw the beauty of magic and decided to make himself the most powerful.

Belos created a system that destroys the masses and boosts his power.

 I’m dipping into fan theory a little, because the fan theory fits. We know that people get branded with coven magic that makes it so they can only specialize in one area. We know that Belos is the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles. We know that the excess magic, magic created by restrictions, has to go somewhere.

It’s the same system that many viewers see all the time. A job takes up all your day and tires you for the night, so you can only do one skill for the rest of your life. Jeff Bezos is the most powerful man in the United States. Excess money, money taken by restrictions, has to go somewhere.

The magic goes to Belos, like how the money goes to Bezos. Belos created capitalism, and he won it.

The guards aren’t real. 

Look, we’ve never seen their faces. They’re all the same. Why would you work so hard to get to the top, just to become a nameless, faceless killing machine?

Oh, also Hooty stuck his face through one. There is nothing under the armor.

Why? Well, it’s the same reason you see all those celebrities going around flaunting their wealth and bragging about how hard they worked. Like all those songs about how they grind every day and work harder than everyone else while you’re out clubbing, and that makes them dope. And then you take a closer look at them and see that they had a small loan of a million dollars fueling them, or an entire talent agency behind them, or their dad was a famous country star in the 80′s. 

They’re fake. They’re hollow. They’re a ploy created by the capitalist emperor to try to delude you into working harder. 

Let me put this into perspective. I guarantee that every single one of you has heard stuff like this: “Hard work makes you successful.” “I put in the work, and that’s why I’m successful.” “If you work hard enough, then you can be as successful as Mark Zuckerberg.” 

And unless you’re a robot or really lucky, I’m sure all of you have failed at this. Maybe they told you that hard work would make you good at math, so you spent 22 hours a week working on calculus, only to pass it by 3 percentage points and have it destroy your perfect 4.0 GPA. Maybe they told you that if you talked to people enough, then you would make friends, so you spent a lot of time talking to people, only to end up lonely and friendless. Maybe they told you that if you did well in school, you would get a good job, so you spent all your time working hard to be a good student, and then ended up in a soulless, dead-end job.

The guards are there to delude you. Look, who really gains from you being productive? The answer is the ruling class, the CEOs, the government, the bourgeoisie. It has always been that. All you get from working is a paycheck that lets you survive. They get a paycheck that lets them get rich. Just like Belos gets the magic and productivity of the specialized coven witches.

The guards are there to trick you. The truth is that nobody can join the Emperor’s Coven. It’s just there to make you think that hard work will make you successful. Then you spend your entire life working hard, trying to prove to the person in charge that you’re worthwhile. You give your whole life to the Coven, and they give you nothing. 

Magic is supposed to be something you pursue for fun. Being skilled at things, being good at something beautiful...that’s supposed to be something you do because you want to. But they took that and made it into a source of productivity. It doesn’t matter if you make good content. All people fucking care about is if you upload the day of premiere, if you make a lot of content quickly, if you maintain a million different conversations with strangers who expect you to be the most interesting person in the room. They don’t care how it hurts you. They don’t care how you crack from the stress. How you cry when you think no one can see you, and then you check your phone and someone can see you, someone did see you, and you have to put on your face and be the charming, magnetic person they want you to be. (oh by the way that’s why I wasn’t online much last week)

And it ruins it. Suddenly you can’t watch The Owl House without being stressed. You can’t make any content. You can’t make spells as powerfully as you want to. Your passion is replaced by perfectionism and insecurity, a voice telling you to keep being the best at what you do, or else they’ll forget you and let you die.

There’s also the Titan. 

So nobody has mentioned him before, because in addition to the Boiling Isles being a hellscape full of witchcraft and queerness, it’s also full of atheists. 

But suddenly we have people saying all this shit about him? Shit like, he gave witches the gift of magic, and then they learned to use it in a civilized manner, since being uncivilized was disrespectful?

I mean, first off, that’s fucking wrong. The island gives people magic. The island, which just so happened to be shaped like a titan-sized human. But the island/titan gives everyone all types of magic. Hell, even Luz gets to use magic, and she’s human. 

It sounds really fucking familiar. (tw for discussion of homophobia and colonialism and misogyny). It sounds like when the news is on and they show some Tr*mp supporter talking about how fetuses have more rights than people and it is their holy duty to take away a woman’s control over her body and force her through unbearable pain and into an 18-year commitment she didn’t want to make. It sounds like all the times people tried to say homosexuality should be illegal, citing a single line in a book written two thousand years ago and heavily edited by a European king. It sounds like all the times people said God wanted them to conquer, to own the entire earth, to force the other races into pain to support them.

This is that bullshit thing people do where they commit awful sins and justify it by citing the will of God. 

Or, it’s the Coven using religion as an excuse for evil.

Look, the Emperor’s Coven is clearly colonizer-coded. Saying that people’s original form of magic was wild (and showing a picture with the same joyous, rowdy energy of an 18th or 19th -century Black or indigenous party), and that it was God’s will for them to be “civilized?” Sounds like that thing that powerful white people did where they went and murdered people and forced them into their twisted capitalist system. God, gold, and glory, is what they said, because history books just love to omit the gore.

Lilith is passing the abuse cycle along. 

You know, like a good little colonizer. God I fucking hate her. She’s a MILF, in the sense that she’s a Mother I’d Like to Fling off a cliff. 

Ah, enough screaming about how much I want to drown Lilith in a tub of Hooty’s mucus. Let’s go into why I want to do that, and how she took the evils of capitalism and just...adopted those.

So, Lilith is sick and twisted for what she did to her sister. But, uhh, that’s the point. You see, there are so many other people out there like Lilith who would do the exact same thing, if given the chance. These are the people who do mean things when the teacher isn’t looking, and then act nice and try to frame you. These are the people who will hate you if you’re better than them. These are people who would do anything to bring you down, if you dare outperform them.

It’s greed, my friends. The mental illness that capitalism blesses us all with.

Lilith herself said it: she dedicated her entire life to the Coven. What she wanted was to be the best. And she almost was...except for her own sister. Someone who lived with her, annoyed her at home, bested her at school. Someone she could never beat, no matter how hard she worked. And her sister was younger than her, too! How insulting was that? Lilith wanted to be the best, and someone in her exact situation did better than her.

Lilith was insecure. And it consumed her.

But why? Why does insecurity consume her? I mean, no one can be motivated by insecurity forever. Well, not unless someone conditions it into you.

The lovely thing about the capitalist system is the morals it teaches you. Things like: “You’re only useful if you’re the best.” “Being school smart makes you smart, while being social smart or sports smart or creative smart or fandom smart is worthless.” “Your worth can be quantified by numbers and is based off arbitrary measures like your income or your grades.” Things that can and will drive us crazy if we let ourselves believe them.

And it did drive Lilith crazy. She got so twisted by a society that said being good at magic is her only worth. Look, Lilith used to be good at things, probably. She was good at sports. At times, she slips up and does an okay job of being Eda’s sister. She has a powerful presence when she’s in a room. And she’s wicked good at manipulating people. 

But that didn’t matter. Lilith bought into the lies. She let herself believe that magical skill was the only way to measure her worth. And since she needed to be the best, she hurt Eda for it.

The beautiful thing is, Eda didn’t buy that. "It’s my power, kid. And before you showed up, I spent my whole life wasting it.” Is what Eda said, as she used up the last of her power, the last of her life, to save Luz. In her final moments, she proved that she’s not like them. She’s stronger than them.

None of this matters. Not magical prowess. Not the hierarchy. Not the promise of joining the Coven and having more power than anyone else.

The only thing that matters to Eda is her family. Her real family. Her Luz, King, and Hooty. And by extension, Willow, Gus, and Amity. Those are Eda’s real reason for fighting, for dying: to protect them. Look, there’s no way she would’ve come out of that fight alive. She has a family, and her love for them is stronger than greed or jealousy or capitalism. 

Lilith never understood that. She thought the water of the womb was thicker than the blood of the covenant. Or, that the water of the womb and the blood of the covenant are stronger than the bonds of found family. She thought it didn’t matter if Eda loved, her, only if the Emperor loved her. Fucking bitch.

And now, a little something to worry about, before we go. Amity Blight. The girl who wanted to join the Emperor’s Coven more than anything, who dedicated her whole life to doing well in school, to being the best, to being perfect.

And then she met Luz. She fell for Luz. Now she’s in a tricky place, where habit and conditioning want her to join the Emperor’s Coven, but her heart wants her to do the impossible and destroy capitalism.

She wasn’t in this episode. Funny that being injured and unable to work ended up saving her from watching her future mother-in-law die. So she bought some time.

But Luz’s true mom is dead. This is the second mom she has lost, and she’s only fourteen. As powerful as King and Hooty are, Luz needs Amity. Luz needs Amity to support her and help her get back her mom.

So Amity has to make a choice. Fear and insecurity, or love and a high chance of death? 

She’ll probably choose death. Because that’s the message that this family-friendly show is giving us kids. Fuck capitalism. All you need in life is to do what makes you happy and be with the ones you love.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Canary, Part 6

First

Previous

Tim had been watching her out of the corner of his eyes for a long time. It wasn’t that he was trying to be creepy or anything, he just… didn’t know why she was there. It didn’t make sense. She was relatively low on funds according to what he and Oracle had dredged up, and even Tim in all his billionaire-ness recognized that this place was more expensive than average…

So, why had she come? It wasn’t even close to the motel she was staying at.

The vaguely paranoid -- cautious, he was cautious -- part of him worried that she had somehow known he was there, but there was no way she should have been able to know that. Hell, he hadn’t known he was going to this particular cafe until he’d gotten to work and realized that there were now cameras in the breakroom and his office to make sure he didn’t drink too much.

But, really, it seemed like she was just using the free wifi that the cafe provided to write up a resume.

He relaxed and sunk back in his chair with his laptop while he did his work.

… he didn’t get to work for long.

He picked up on the slight gravel of someone putting on a voice with ease. It was high and sweet, a voice he commonly heard from customer service workers. He chanced a look back at the barista and frowned when he saw her on her phone. Not her, then.

He looked around the tiny coffee shop and cringed a little when he realized what was going on. Shady guy approaches a woman who’s drinking coffee alone? Yeah, that’s never a good thing.

He pushed his laptop into his bag quickly, slung it over his shoulders, put the cap back on his coffee cup so the guy wouldn’t be able to tell that Tim had been there for a while, and rushed over.

He rested his hand on the man’s shoulder.

“Hey, bud, she said no.”

Tim watched both of them tense and their gazes were pulled to him in an instant.

Marinette glanced him up and down once. He watched her eyes lock onto his coffee cup for a second and he carefully turned his hand a little so she could see the name.

She smiled. “You’re late, Timmy. Don’t tell me you got caught up in another meeting?”

He shrugged innocently. “You know how it is.” Then, he split into a grin. “Maybe I should be the one that’s upset, though. Can’t believe you didn’t save me a spot.”

“I tried!” She whined. “He insisted!”

The man chuckled awkwardly. “I see. I’m sorry, I thought you were alone.”

She rolled her eyes. “I told you I wasn’t. Can you move, though?”

“Actually,” Tim said, because he didn’t want to sit in the window where Duke might happen to see him while on patrols. “There’s a free table back this way.”

Marinette tipped her head to the side a little before nodding. “Sure.”

She closed her laptop with a snap, gathered her things into her bag, and followed him back to his table.

That should have been the end of it. Unfortunately, the guy was still watching them. It looked like they weren’t going to be able to do work for a while if they wanted to keep up the pretense that they were friends.

She seemed to know it, too, because she sighed and rested her head on her hand with a small frown. “Guess we have to talk.”

He huffed. “Don’t have to sound so upset about it.”

“Alright. Fine.”

“Not sounding much more excited.”

She rolled her eyes and then brought a bright smile to her face. “Sure, Timmy, sounds great! Can’t wait to have a super fun conversation with you!”

“... nevermind. That’s weird. Why did that almost convince me? I knew it was fake.”

She let herself lean back in her chair, her face falling back to a slightly smug grin. “I’m Parisian,” she said simply.

Yeah. That made sense. Every Parisian Tim had had the (dis?)pleasure of meeting had had an almost unnerving amount of control over the way they presented their emotions.

He snickered. “Why the hell would you move here, then?”

She rolled her eyes. “Our psychopath was so boring. Like, dude, we get it, your wife died or whatever, that sounds like a you problem. Now, a guy deciding to become a jewel thief purely for the gimmick? Way more interesting.”

“Moral grayness is so twenty years ago,” Tim joked.

“Exactly! Give me dumbasses who are evil purely to be evil and good to be good!”

He grinned. “I can see why you like Harry Potter.”

She blinked.

He motioned to her cup. Scrawled across it in the barista’s messy handwriting was ‘He Who Must Not Be Named’.

She relaxed a little, grinning. “I just finished the books so I’m a bit obsessed. Also, every time I tell them that my name is Marinette they misspell it.”

“Don’t feel too bad, baristas are just like that. Heck, they’ve misspelled my name before.”

“... your name is Tim.”

“They spelled it with a y.”

“... why?”

“Yes. Exactly. A y.”

She giggled a little. “No, I mean why would they do that?”

“Oh. No clue. I hope they were just messing with me.”

~

The barista was wiping down the tables. It was nearing closing time and Marinette was feeling more and more sorry for the poor workers the longer they stayed. She knew that, when she had used to work at the bakery, she had always especially hated customers that were there around closing time.

Only two tables remained occupied.

She sighed when she glanced over and saw the guy was still there.

Oh well.

She looked over at Tim. “Care to walk me a few blocks in a random direction to see if we can get rid of him?”

“Certainly,” he said.

“‘Certainly’? I may not be super great with American customs yet but even I know that’s weird,” she teased.

He huffed a little. “Listen.”

“I’m listening.”

His nose scrunched. “No, wait, you weren’t supposed to call me out on the fact that I didn’t have an excuse.”

“Oh. Okay, we can try again.”

“Alright.” He cleared his throat. “Listen,” he said again, this time in a tone that mocked the one he’d said it in the first time.

Convenient. She was intent on mocking him, too: “I’m listening.”

“You’re the worst,” he complained.

She laughed. “I am so not. Joker exists.”

“You’re worse than him,” he said in his most serious voice.

She laughed harder. “No one is worse than him.”

He grinned. “I thought you liked people that were evil purely for being evil.”

“But he’s not,” she argued. “The man just decided one day that he liked the weird guy who dressed like a bat and figured that the best way to get that guy’s attention was to murder people.”

“Gotta admit, it works,” said Tim.

She shrugged, grinning. “Yeah, it does. Makes me wonder what would happen if the Big Bad Bat didn’t come, though.”

He tipped his head to the side slightly and then shrugged. “I don’t know, actually. He usually stops it in time.”

“I think he’d freak out.”

“Absolutely.”

She grinned and stretched lazily, head tipping back.

“He’s still following us, isn’t he?” Asked Tim.

“Yep,” she said, popping the ‘p’.

He groaned a little. “Great. Looks like we’re heading to the library.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You go to libraries? You could probably buy every ebook in existence and have a few billion left over.”

“One of my sisters works there, I can ask her to get rid of the guy,” he explained. “But I like libraries. There’s something quaint about them.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, it’s nice to see how the common folk live sometimes.”

He returned her eye roll. “Not like that. I spend a lot of time staring at screens, I have a special appreciation for regular old books.”

“That’s nice. I wish I had time to sit down with a physical copy like that.”

“You see, I have this genius strategy for making time: not taking care of myself.”

“Go on, this is intriguing.”

“Well, eating and sleeping, right? Everyone thinks they’re totally necessary things otherwise you’d die or whatever. But, listen, that’s just a hoax made up by the government to perpetuate capitalism.”

She nodded eagerly. “Totally totally totally. What’s your solution?”

“Coffee communism.”

“Yes, you should use your rich boy money to lobby Congress.”

He grinned. “I totally should. But I can’t run it by my family.”

“No way! You never know who's capitalist anymore, they could be plants placed by the sleep industry to ensure that you don’t go through with it.”

He gasped. “No! You think? My own family?!”

She nodded grimly. “It’s always the ones closest to you that betray you.”

And then he broke character, snickering behind his hand. She beamed.

They reached the library and he smiled as he held the door open for her. He asked her to wait while he talked to his sister and she waved him off casually, telling him to take his time.

She pulled out her phone and pressed her lips together thinly as she made a note to head over later that night to give the man -- Henry -- his money. She’d give him a little tip because, for a moment there, she’d almost forgotten that they were just acting. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to purposely trigger herself for the sake of believability but, hey, if she was going to try and dupe one of the smartest businessmen alive into talking to her, she needed to go all out.

Speaking of Tim, she updated the file of Tim’s favorite cafes plus the probabilities of him visiting each one. It was for his oldest brother, Richie Wayne. She didn’t know why Richie was the one to ask for it seeing as he spent most of his time in Bludhaven and therefore likely wouldn’t find much use in it, but no one ever really knew why Richie Wayne did anything. The man famously had almost as much cotton between his ears as his father.

But, Richie Wayne was also just as rich as his father, so… she’d give him his file later that night after checking her math with her favorite graphing calculator.

A redhead in a wheelchair rolled past Marinette and she absently held the door open for her, only to be surprised when she cursed out Henry.

She watched as Henry held his hands up and started backing away from the woman in the wheelchair, and then he ran down the nearest alley.

(… she’d give Henry a bigger tip. The man had just wanted a tiny side job to help pay for his wife and kids that wasn’t being a henchman, he didn’t deserve this.)

She opened the door for the woman on her way back inside and mumbled her thanks. The woman nodded once and continued on her way.

Marinette leaned back against the wall again and scrolled through Twitter as she waited for Tim to reappear. Apparently, Poison Ivy was already back in Arkham. Something about an intern at the botanical gardens watering plants wrong. Wild.

Marinette felt someone sidle up beside her and, after a quick glance confirmed that it was Tim, pocketed her phone.

He smiled at her, a tote bag over his shoulder.

“Did you go grocery shopping while I wasn’t looking, somehow?”

He hesitated before holding it out to her. “It’s the French dubs of the Harry Potter movies.”

She blinked as the bag was thrust into her hands and looked down at it. Yep, that was Harry Potter in French. She also, vaguely, noted the tiny slip of paper his phone number scrawled across it.

She slung the bag over her shoulder.

“I’m never going to return these. You’re going to rack up so much debt.”

~~~

NightwingsAss9384: does anyone know why nightwing and canary hate each other?

ScareCrane: She stabbed Batman once on accident and somehow got away with blaming it on him

Daylightwing: She refuses to let B adopt her.

RiddleMeThis: They think it’s funny when their stans fight.

SignalOfficial: They said ‘I’m the only flippy bitch allowed in New Jersey’ and have been fighting ever since

Yummmmmm: He has to or else Robin will get jealous because he’s the only stabby sibling allowed

Oracle: They’re fighting over who gets to change their name to ‘The Dodo’ first.

DeadHood: Nightwing is jealous that Canary was the first one of us to think to have a full-on bird mask.

TheBetterCanary: every time i go into the batfam tag to try and avoid them all i see is his fancams

SpoilerAlert: they’re both convinced that they’re the hottest bachelor/bachelorette in gotham

NightwingsAss9384: im beginning to think no ones going to tell me.

BlackBat: :)

~~~~~

Next

Perma taglist: @nathleigh @peachmuses

Canary taglist: @jayjayspixiepop @unoriginalmess @miraculousfanfic127 @probably-a-hologram @iloontjeboontje

[rachaelswrites]

The Unsub

Spencer Reid x daughter!reader

You help the team with an unsub that’s connected to you.

Word Count: 3,498

A/n: I got a little carried away with this

Warnings: Violence, kidnapping, guns, blood

“Y/n I promise you’ll be fine. I’m not coming to get you,” your dad said over the phone. He had been arguing with you the whole way to the BAU.

“But dad please? I can retake it. I’ll get a better score if I do,” you pleaded. 

“Honey I said no. I’m at work now. What ever score you get I’ll be proud of you,” 

“You’re only saying that to make me feel better,” you said.

“No I’m not. I mean it. I know you work hard,” 

“I wish I had your memory. Could you just give me a piece of your brain please?” 

“Goodbye Y/n. I’ll see you after school,” 

“Bye dad,” you hung up the phone and Spencer was running late so he hurried to where the rest of the team was. 

“There you are kid. You’re never late,” Morgan teased. 

“Sorry something came up with Y/n,” Spencer responded.

“Is she ok?” Hotch asked. 

“Oh yeah she’s fine. She just had a test she didn’t study for and wanted me to get her so she didn’t have to take it,” 

Everyone nodded and looked to Garcia to present the case. “We have an interesting case. It’s local so we don’t have to travel. Three teenage girls have been taken from the local high school,” Garcia said, “so far, they haven't been able to make a connection yet. All the girls so far have brown hair and brown eyes so we could narrow down our search for potential victims,” 

“Do we have contact with anyone who knows the girls and the families?” JJ asked.

“Yes. The families will be by later and we need to get someone at the school,” 

Spencer was looking at the board, looking at all the girls. You were the same age and went to the same school as them. You could have easily been taken instead.  

Hotch noticed Reid deep in thought and spoke up, “Reid why don’t you go to the school and see if they can give us information on the girls,” 

Reid nodded and stood up and went to leave, but Hotch grabbed his sleeve and whispered in his ear “I know you’re worried about Y/n. Feel free to bring her back here so you can keep an eye on her,” 

“Thank you Hotch,” Spencer responded. He grabbed his bag from his desk and left for the school. 

You had just finished lunch and your friends were walking around the school talking. One of your friends stopped you mid sentence. “Isn’t that your dad Y/n?” She pointed towards the main entrance. Your dad was in fact standing outside the office, talking to one of the office workers. 

“Yeah. I don’t know why he’s here,” you said, “I’ll see you guys later,” you walked down the hallway towards your dad. 

“I just need to see if I can get the files from the students who went missing. Maybe to try and find a connection,” you heard your dad say. 

“Sure I'll go get them,” the lady said. She disappeared into the office and he started to look at the posters littering the wall. 

“Dad? What are you doing here?” 

Spencer turned “I’m just here for some work stuff. I didn’t mean to interrupt your day,” 

“It’s fine. It’s lunch right now I’m not missing anything,” you said. You so badly wanted more info on the case he was working on. You knew about the disappearances but didn’t think your dad would be out in the field, “what kind of work stuff?” 

“Uhh. I can’t really tell you right now,” He tried to figure out a way to explain everything without scaring you, “do you want to come back to the BAU with me? You might be able to help us a bit,” 

“Sure,” 

The office lady returned with a stack of files, “here’s what we have on file. Anything from discipline records to attendance,” 

“Thank you. I’m also going to be taking Y/n with me, is that alright?” 

“Yes just sign her out at the desk,” the lady returned back to her own office and Spencer signed you out. 

You took the train back to the BAU and nearly skipped into the room where the team was, “hi guys” you said cheerily waving to them. 

“Well. If it isn’t my favorite Reid. How are you doing Little Reid?” Morgan asked, ruffling your hair.

“I’m good. What case are you working on?” 

Morgan looked at Reid, “you haven’t told her?” 

“Not yet. I was just about to,” Reid said. 

“Tell me what?” You butted in. 

“We think the unsub might be someone at the school. Either a student or faculty member. We’re hoping you could help us narrow it down,” Rossi explained. 

“Yeah sure. Do you guys have a profile yet?” 

“Not yet. We need your help with that Y/n,” Hotch said. 

You nodded and he led you into the conference room. You sat down and watched as JJ laid out pictures of all the missing girls in front of you. 

“Did you know any of these girls? Were you friends with them?” She asked. 

You took your time and looked over the pictures. You knew of them. Your school was a private school and the class sizes were small. Everyone knew something about everyone, but people still kept things in their own circles. “Not really. The school is small but people are private. Kids like to stay in their own group pretty much,” 

“Was there a bullying issue at the school? Maybe these girls picked on the same kid,” Morgan suggested. 

“Mmm. I don’t think so. Everyone got along well. Just people like to stick with what they know I guess,” 

“What about teachers? Anyone who was maybe too friendly or really interested in student lives?” Hotch asked. 

“Not that I can think of,” you said. 

“There’s too many classes that overlap with each other so I don’t think it’s a teacher. There’s also no correlation in extracurricular activities. It would have to be a student,” your dad said. The whole time, he was flipping through the files, “Y/n is there anyone you can think of that had contact with all of them?” 

“I can’t think of any. Sorry,” your knee was bouncing up and down. You didn’t feel like you were helping much. 

“They are teenage girls though. Maybe they hid stuff,” Prentiss suggested. 

“We had all their things checked. The unsub took the backpacks so all we could get were lockers and the houses,” Rossi said. 

“Oh! There is something I remember,” you exclaimed. 

“What is it?” Hotch questioned. 

“A few days ago at lunch, this group of girls were talking. I think they were friends with one of the missing girls. They talked about a note she received the day she went missing,” 

“We talked to friends. They didn’t know anything,” JJ said. 

“Kids lie. Especially teenage girls when they do something they’re not supposed to,” Morgan said. 

“Do you remember what the note said Y/n? Reid asked. 

“No. They didn’t actually say what the note said. They had a picture of it on a phone. I didn’t exactly inherit your eidetic memory,” you teased at your dad.  

“Just say what you remember,” he responded. 

“It was something about meeting someone else. I think there was a time listed. They signed it too I think,” 

Everyone looked at each other around the room, “what did it say?” Rossi said.

“I think it was signed ‘D.J’. But that could be so many people,” 

“It could be initials or a nickname or pseudonym,” your dad said, “but that does narrow down the list,” 

All of a sudden, Garcia came into the room, “I was able to find a connection between the victims. They all had parents in either government jobs or in first response,” 

“That narrows it down even more,” Morgan stated.

“Most likely our unsub has a tie to either government or first response. He most likely had a vendetta for some reason,” Hotch said. 

Spencer noticed your leg was bouncing quicker now. He moved from across the room and sat in the chair next to you. He grabbed one of your hands in his, “take your time sweetheart. You’re ok,” he whispered. 

You sat and thought for a moment, “there is one boy. His name is Dylan. His mom died about a year ago. It was a car accident. His dad was an EMT. He was the first one on the scene. They didn’t know it was her though. I think he saw her die. Over the summer, Dylan’s dad killed himself. I think Dylan said the note he left said something about not being able to watch people die anymore,” 

“Definitely sounds like our guy,” Morgan said. 

“Why would these girls go off not knowing who is writing them those notes though?” JJ asked. 

“I think they just assumed it was him. He’s the only one with enough guts to do that,” you explained, “and he’s the best looking,” you mumbled. 

“What was that?” Reid asked, clearly hearing what you said.

“All I mean is that guys who look like Dylan could get any girl he wanted. Everyone has a crush one him,” 

“Everyone?” Prentice wiggled her eyebrows at you. 

“Everyone does,” you repeated. 

Spencer decided to save this conversation for a different time. 

“JJ, get a list of potential victims and put a security detail on them. Garcia let’s try and get an address on Dylan,” 

The team started to leave the room, “Dad can I go home now?” You asked. 

“Really? You’re a potential target for a serial kidnapper and you want to leave a government protected building? Absolutely not. You’re staying here for the rest of the day,” Spencer said standing up. 

“But you have his name and you’re finding his address. I’ll be fine,” you complained.

“Y/n I’m serious. I said no. I don’t want you leaving this building without me. I’m trying to keep you safe,” 

“Fine,” you pushed past him and stormed out of the room. Spencer sat down at his desk. He started working on something to blow off some steam. 

You managed to keep yourself occupied for a few hours by talking with the team and doing school work. You were sitting in JJ’s office, working on an essay. You were growing restless and wanted to go home. You quickly pulled out some math work, pretending to look it over. “Hey JJ I’m going to go see if my dad can help me with some math. I’ll be back soon,” you packed your things and headed towards your dad’s desk. 

Once you were out of her eyesight, you diverted your path towards the exit and headed home. 

Back at the BAU a few hours past and your dad hadn’t seen or heard from you. Reid walked around, looking for you. He bumped into JJ, “Hey JJ have you seen Y/n?” 

“Very funny Spence. I know she’s with you,” she replied.

“What do you mean? I haven’t seen her in awhile,” Spencer was now worrying. What if the unsub found you here?

“She told me she was going to find you. She needed help with homework,”

It all clicked for Spencer. He knew where you went. He just hoped neither did the unsub. “We have to go. Get the team,” he grabbed his bag and ran out the door, heading towards the apartment with the team behind him. 

There was no sign of forced entry, but you were gone and there was blood on the carpet and things knocked to the floor. The team was looking around the apartment, hoping to find something that could lead to you. Spencer was sitting on the couch, trying to process what was happening. Morgan stopped what he was doing and sat next to him, “Reid we’re going to find her. Your girl is tough, she'll fight him,” he reassured. 

“I know. I just feel like this is my fault. I forced her to stay with me to keep her safe, and now look. She’s been kidnapped!” 

“This is not your fault. You were trying to protect your daughter and Y/n knew that. She’s just a stubborn kid who doesn’t like listening to her dad. That’s not on you,”

Before Spencer could respond Hotch got a call from Garcia, “Garcia you’re on speaker,”

“I checked school records and it turns out that the home Dylan shared with his family was sold a few months ago,”

“So where is he living now? Is there any family in the area?” Hotch asked. 

“Uh it looks like the father owned a storage unit that has been accessed several times in the last few days,” 

“When was the last time it was accessed?” 

“Thirty minutes ago. I’m sending the address your way,” 

You don’t remember much about how you got here. You were bound to a chair facing a garage door. Only a few hours ago you were walking home, just wanting to watch tv. You had unlocked the front door and set your things in your room. You went into the kitchen to grab a snack when you heard a key in the door. You assumed it was your dad. “Hey dad,” you said, turning towards the open door. You were not expecting the person in front of you, “Dylan what are you doing here?” 

“What do you think?” he said, slamming the door shut, “I came here for you. Isn’t that what your dad warned you about. He works for the FBI right? He probably knew it was me,”

“Yeah he did,” you were trying to stall him. Your dad would get worried about you sooner or later, “The team figured it out pretty quickly. You didn’t do a very good job,”

“Well I got you. That’s all I need,” he took a step towards you. You looked around for something you could use to hurt him. Before you could reach for one of the books on the counter, he grabbed you. You tried to kick and punch your way out of his grip but he pulled a knife out of his pocket and stabbed you in the stomach. Only deep enough to make you bleed, not puncture an organ. 

You stopped fighting and tried to apply pressure to the wound, “If you’re gonna kill me, at least tell me why,”

“Don’t you want to know how I got in?” he teased. 

“I do but, the FBI agents will figure that out. I just want to know why you’d kill me,”

He pulled you up and pinned you hands behind your back, “Do you remember last year? We worked on a project together. Your dad wasn’t here. You said he was working. We had a nice long talk about how our dads and their jobs get in the way of raising their families,”

“I don’t remember that. Guess you didn’t make much of an impression,”

He grunted angrily and shoved you forward, making you fall. Your head hit the floor and you rolled over. You felt blood trickling down the side of your face. The fall most likely giving  you a concussion. He pulled you up to your feet and pushed you out the door and down one of the back stairwells. He shoved you into the back seat of his car and tied a blindfold around your eyes. 

The ride was short and he stopped abruptly. He grabbed your upper arm and walked you a few feet before stopping. You tried remembering things your dad told you to do if you were kidnapped. It felt cold so you were outside, maybe near water. You could smell metal and a musky odor. There’s a storage ward near the marina. That's where you probably are. 

The sound of a door sliding open startled you. You were led into the unit and placed on a chair. You could hear the breathing of other people. Dylan took the blindfold off and you waited for your eyes to adjust to the light. Not that there was much. Dylan was already gone. You looked around and saw all the other girls who went missing. 

A few minutes later, Dylan returned with another knife and now a gun, “I thought we were on the same page Y/n. Our dads missed our lives because of work. But I guess I was wrong. I realized shortly after our conversation I was wrong. You had a better life than me. You were happy. And I had to suffer by myself I had no one who understood me,”

“Dylan stop! This is stupid. Let them go. Hurt me not them. Your issue is with me,”

“My dad watched my mom die and then I had to watch my dad throw his life away,” he held the gun up, towards the other three victims, “Now you’re going to have to watch them die,”

“Dylan don’t do this!” but it was too late. He pulled the trigger and the three girls were dead. He now trained the gun on you. 

“Now your dad will get to watch you die,”

The sound of three gunshots rang in the air. The team ran in the direction of the shots. They reached the storage unit that belonged to Dylan. “Spence stayed out here. We don’t know what we’ll find,” JJ said. 

Morgan and Hotch opened the door, “Dylan Johnston, it’s the FBI,” Hotch yelled. 

You couldn’t see anything. Your eyes were covered in the blindfold again. You looked up in the direction of Hotch’s voice.

“Put the gun down Dylan. Let the girl go,” That was Morgan. He was pleading with him. He saw you as his little sister, he cared about you. He couldn’t let you get hurt.

“I can't, I have to do this,” You felt Dylan move away from you. Then gunshots. 

“Get an ambulance,” Morgan said, most likely to Hotch, “Y/n are you ok? Are you hurt?” 

“M’fine. Just a little blood, and a headache. Morgan?”

“What?”

“Am I dead? I heard a gun. Did he shoot you too? Are we both dead,”

“Not on my watch Little Reid,”

Morgan walked towards you and lifted the blindfold off of your face. He sighed when he saw all the blood. He reached to move some hair out of your face but you pulled away, “I want my dad. Please get my dad!” 

“JJ, get Reid in here,” he spoke in his ear-in, “Can I untie you?” 

You nodded and he bent down in front of you, “Where’s my dad? I want him now,” you said again. 

He pulled the ropes off your wrists and helped you stand up, “I know, he’s getting here,” he looked at the doorway, Spencer still wasn’t there, “Reid get in here!” he yelled. Morgan helped walk you towards the doorway. 

Y/n!” Spencer exclaimed. He rushed over to you and grabbed you from Morgan. He hugged you tightly, loosening his grip when you winced, “are you ok? You’re hurt aren’t you?” 

You nodded your head, “It’s bad Reid. She needs to go to the hospital,” Morgan whispered to him, “she can’t walk very well either,”

Reid looked at you. You were clinging to him, scared of losing him again. He carried you out of the unit, just in time for the ambulance to arrive. One of the paramedics opened the doors and brought out a stretcher. Reid carefully placed you on it, not letting go of your hand, “We have to go, she’s losing a lot of blood. She needs surgery,” the medic told your dad. 

“Reid go with her. Morgan you too,” Hotch instructed. Both men climbed in the back of the ambulance next to you. Voices were fading in and out and you felt your eyelids getting heavy. 

“Sweetheart, please keep your eyes open. Please, for me,” your dad begged. 

“I can’t. M’tired,” 

Spencer and the team were in the waiting room. Everyone was worried about you. Spencer couldn’t sit and was pacing back and forth while Garcia kept fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. “Dr. Reid?” a nurse came out, and he quickly walked over to her, “Your daughter is going to be fine. Her surgery went well,” 

“Can we see her now?” Prentiss asked from her chair. 

“She’s not awake yet. The anesthesia should wear off in a few hours. Only family can visit right now,”

“Ok,” Reid turned and faced the group, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Thank you for everything,”

“Of course Spence. If you need anything you can call,” JJ said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

Spencer shot her a smile and nodded. He followed the nurse to your room and sat in the chair next to your bed. He studied your face while you slept, You were relaxed and content, the opposite of just hours before. He held your hand in his until you woke up. 

Taglist

@ssebstann @peachyprincessss @emmy-writes-sometimes @teenage-incompetence

[wtfsaidthefox]

Can’t sleep?

Duskwood - Jake x MC - 1779 words - Spoilers for Ep7!

Starts out with MC (who I randomly decided to name Sam) struggling after the events of Ep7, and Jake wanting to comfort her. Ends in self-indulgence fluff, because apparently that's the only way I can imagine Jake.

Under „read more" due to length~

Middle of the Night. She could hear rain coming down, beating against the open window of her bedroom. It wasn't all that cold, but she felt cold, even with her blanket pulled up halfway over her head. There was just a shiver going through her she couldn't shake. By now, she must have been lying in bed for a few hours, trying to find some sleep but dreading it all the same.

It had only been yesterday. Someone she had come to call a friend and care about in these last days… killed, right in front of her. It still didn't feel real. Then again, it felt like the only reality she had left. The pictures didn't leave her. Richy, coughing up blood. Richy, his face slowly growing still and lifeless. The panic taking over her, her heartbeat too loud and too fast in her own ears, that one thought hammering in her head, „do something, do something, do something".

If she'd try to recall her own actions right now, she barely could. She told the others. Desperate, incoherent syllabyles and half sentences. They went through disbelief, shock and denial all in a few seconds, but one of them managed to call the police. They had barely spoken since Richy's body was found, and on her end, she couldn't blame anything but guilt. Maybe they had pushed too much. Maybe it was her fault. Maybe she could have done something.

With a small, low groan she reached for her phone. Sleep wouldn’t come, and if, it would come with the same nightmares of last night, so she was tired of fighting for it. Anything else would do.

Opening her phone, she realized that she had an unread message.

Jake.

Between everything falling apart and coming undone, Jake had tried his best to stay calm. But it was even hard for him. ‚He must be so worried‘, she thought, ‚what this could mean for Hannah. Is Hannah dead already too, after all? Will everyone abandon the search for his sister?‘. In truth, he was worried for her.

„Hello Sam. You're probably asleep by now, at least I hope so. I just wanted to ask if you were alright. I mean, whenever you wake up. Please just let me know.“

A slight smile ghosted over her lips. Had someone told her after that first voice distorted phone call that the man under that hoodie would turn out to be such a sweetheart, she'd have laughed at them. But there was really no other word more fitting for Jake. Going through the best, most convincing „I'm all good" standard responses in her head, she noticed the little green dot next to his name. He was online. And just a few seconds later, another message popped up, he had seen her being online too.

„Can't sleep?“

„No. Do you ever sleep?“

„Some times?“

There was a bit of a break. She didn't know what to say, her thoughts a mess and her fingers shaky. Jake started typing. Stopped. Erased the Text. Then again.

„If you can't sleep Sam, I'm here for you.“

„You're sweet Jake.“

This was bittersweet, if she was honest. His care for her made her feel warm for the first time since she crawled under her blanket. But she was also at a loss for words. Shouldn't he focus on Hannah? Did she really deserve his support now? And most of all… how? How could he help her, far way, at some place she didn't even know. But she’d bite her tongue off before admitting to that thought.

„Do you want to talk?“

„You mean Smalltalk? 🤭“

Well, this sounded familiar.

„I would love to Jake, it's just…. I don't even know about what. Anything else would do, but I'm only coming up blank.“

„I'd know something.“

Oh? Now this was new. Curious, she asked him to go ahead.

„While I was in hiding, the only thing I could think of was you. How much I missed you. All the things I wanted to tell you. All the things you didn't know about me yet, but that I wanted to share. Even if I never shared them before, or couldn't even say why it suddenly meant so much to me to tell you. And more then that, all the things I didn‘t yet know about you. All the things I wanted to ask for no other reason then that I want to know you.“

He straightened up in front of his PC. Close to 2 in the night, he hadn't even moved away from his desk yet. Sleep, especially good sleep, had been a stranger to him for so long now, he had given up trying. There was always something on his mind, something to be done, one potential mistake to double check, one preparation more to make. If he was honest, most often, it was pointless. Nothing but his own ghosts from these last months on the run from the governement keeping him awake.

But this time was different. This time, the reason was right.

„You can ask me anything you want Jake“

„What makes you happy?“

Unexpected. Again. She furrowed her brows as she pondered the answer to his question.

„That's a hard one to answer"

„I know. I don't think I could have answered it myself just a short time ago.“

The implication was obvious enough, but still, she needed to hear it. Hear it spelled out.

„But you do now?“

„I do. You. You make me happy.“

She read those words a few times, with a smile on her face, aloud, or in her head in what she imagined his voice to sound like. Jake was normally not too good at reading other peoples emotions, but she couldn't help wondering if he knew how much she had needed to hear that. What those words meant, especially now, when all she was capable of was blaming and doubting herself.

„You make me happy too Jake“

„And that means more to me then I can say. But still, I'd love to hear what else does.“

„Are you planing to use that information against me?“

„Yes. Repeatedly and without fail :)“

How cute could he get? Laughing, she shoke her head and decided to just list everything randomly that would spring to mind.

„Well…. My neighbours, they have this little dog, and every time it sees me in the hallway it's all excited and overjoyed and adorable. That's just infectious. And the first flowers coming out in spring. Every year. Getting to sleep in on Sundays. Getting to hug my friends and family, especially if I haven't seen them for a long time. And seeing them smile. Oh, and you know what? Giving them a present that was just right. You know this horrible feeling of anxiety and impending failure every time you fret over what best to get a loved one for their birthday or on christmas? But then when you hit the nail on the head, and they love it – that has to be one of the best feelings in the world!“

„Of course you would", he answered to the last bit, before she could go on.

„I would what?“

„List giving others presents over receiving them.“

„Well, I'm not complaining about that either 😛 oh, and before I forget to add: parks, forest, beaches – just taking a walk through any of those. Or sitting down for a picnic and just watching the sky. It’s been way too long since I did that last. Have you done that before?“

„No, at least not for a very long time. But I would love to do that with you.“

„As a warning: I will tell you how every single cloud looks like a bunny, or a duck, or my old angry math teacher"

„What if I can identify those clouds first?“

„Then I'm impressed and you get points"

„And what do I get if I have more points then you and win?“

„An actual cloud. So cotton candy.“

She really was the only person that could still make him smile. Just like she was the only one that still made him feel like one day, he could be genuinely happy again himself. That there were people in this world he could trust, no second guessing, no double checking, no constant overthinking every word he said. Talking to her was easy. It made him feel weightless and light-headed, and he had no idea anymore how he had managed to fight those feelings for one second in the beginning.

He had started to tell her, trying to write down just what she meant to him, but in the most unfair contradiction, finding the right words for that was impossibly hard. And given what had just happened, was this really the right time?

Before he could finish debating on hitting send or not, another message popped up.

„Jake…. Is there really a chance for that? Can I really meet you, one day? Because… I wished you were here"

„I know. I wished that too. So I could be with you and support you, more then just with a few words. But I promise you, once this is all over, I'll find a way.“

Yes, he would. He had started to think about how while he had been on the run, and he knew he could make it happen. There was simply no other choice.

Realizing this again, he had deleted his previous attempt at telling her just what exactly she meant to him. Maybe the time wasn't wrong, but the how was. He’d tell her in person. He’d tell her in his own voice, looking into her eyes and seeing her reaction on his face after every single word. And then he‘d tell her again, until she was tired of hearing it.

Which she would probably never be. She felt herself exhaling, letting go of a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding in, as she read his answer to the question she had been so afraid to ask. Which she should have asked sooner, because his answer brought her more relief then she could have hoped. It was exactly how he could help her, more then anyone else, no matter where he was right now.

„Thank you Jake"

„:)“

„I'll reserve all the prettiest picnic places in all the nearby parks 😉“

„Well I hope there are a lot, so we get to spent a lot of time together.“

„There are! Though at some point we will probably also have to think of something else 🤭“

„Looking back at your previous reply, I guess I’d get you flowers next. Or hugs. Or a dog. I'll decide spontaneously :P“

[sometimesiwritebadly]

Carter (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Summary: You’re a single mother, and your 12-year-old daughter, Carter, decided to track down her father.

Warnings: Mentions unsupportive asshole parents. Also language. References sex (between two underage kids) and teen pregnancy.

Notes: ....so i kinda disappeared for almost a month...and instead of updating my series i have decided to write a whole new fic... sorry? :) in my defence it says right there in my user that i only write SOMETIMES

also this is kinda an au where Spencer graduated high school at 16 instead of 12 yet somehow gets all his doctorates and joins the fbi at the same time. does the math work out? no. do i care? no. 

also sorry if your name is Carter. maybe you can pretend you pulled a Lorelai Gilmore and named your kid after yourself

Word Count: 1.9k

Masterlist

“Carter!” You ran through the hallways, paying no attention to the various government agents staring as you made your way to your 12-year-old daughter. About an hour ago, you’d gotten a call from her school because she hadn’t shown up to her classes that morning, even though you’d watched her get on the bus yourself. After the longest 15 minutes of your life, you got a call that freaked you out even more; Carter had gone all the way to Quantico and was now with the FBI. You drove like a madwoman from work, especially since all the FBI Agent, Jareau, had told you over the phone call was that your daughter was safe. Now, that same agent was trying to keep up with you as you marched towards your daughter, who was sitting at a desk in the middle of a busy office. 

“Miss Y/L/N, maybe we can take you guys somewhere private to-” 

“Carter Rose Y/L/N, what on earth possessed you to skip school and take a field trip to the FBI?” You interrupted the agent, talking to your daughter, whose eyes were now wide in fear. You two don’t fight often- or at all, really. You’d had her when you were only 16, so sometimes your relationship danced the line around the line between mother/daughter and two sisters. This was the first, and hopefully only, time she’d done anything to make you truly angry. Instead of answering you, Carter just looked down at her hands, mumbling something. “Carter, the longer you don’t answer me, the longer you’ll be grounded.” Your voice softened just slightly, but it was enough for Carter to know how worried you’d been.

“I found dad.” Her words made your heart stop. You hadn’t thought about her dad in a long time, you wouldn’t let yourself.

“What?” Carter only looked over to the man that had been standing next to her. You hadn’t even glanced at him, you were too worried and mad at Carter. You looked up at him, and he looked at you, and you felt like your world was crashing down. Spencer Reid. You hadn’t seen him since you were 15, when he’d left to go to CalTech. He was just a couple months older than you, 16 years old, but he was already graduating high school with enough college credit to put him halfway through an undergrad degree. He was set to become one of the youngest doctors in the country. And now here he was, 12 years later. He looked at you with the same wide eyes he had all those years ago, the same look your daughter had on her face. 

“Agent Jareau?” The blonde woman came back into your line of sight, but you only glanced at her before looking back to Spencer. “Can you watch Carter for a while?”

“Yeah, of course.” Carter stood up to follow Agent Jareau, but before she could walk away, your hand stopped her. 

“You’re grounding starts now, C. Hand it over.” Carter begrudgingly pulled her backpack off her shoulder and opened it. First she placed her phone in your hand, then pulled out a book and handed it over as well. You glanced at the cover. You know for a fact that she finished this book yesterday, so you tucked it under your arm and held out your hand again, and waited for her to place her second book in it. A moment later, another book was in your hand, and you nodded at Agent Jareau, allowing her to take your daughter out of sight to what you assumed to be her office. Finally, you turned back to Reid.

“Hi.” You started, avoiding eye contact. You weren’t sure how to start this conversation. You never thought you’d have to have this conversation. 

“Hi.” Awkward silence. Instead of looking at Spencer, you looked around the office space, and noticed that some people were staring at you and Spencer. Spencer followed your gaze, and turned back to you. “Um, those are my coworkers. We have a conference room, do you wanna talk there?”

“Yeah, that’d be good.” You followed Spencer across the office and into a small conference room. You both sat down at the circular table, and Spencer opened his mouth to speak first.

“Is it true?” You only nodded in response, still not able to look at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You took a deep breath before looking up at him to answer. Spencer had tears developing in his eyes, and he was leaning towards you. Raising Carter on your own had been hard, but you’d never even considered how missing out on so much of her life would affect him. “You...you were going to college. You had this insane future ahead of you, and I didn’t want to ruin it. By the time I found out, you were already gone, so…”

“You left Vegas.” Spencer interrupted. “When I came home for Thanksgiving, I stopped by your parent’s house. They refused to talk to me, and said that you transferred to a boarding school.” You scoffed at your parent’s lie. Your parents were pretentious, upper-class people. They’d wanted you to “take a semester abroad,” and quietly give up the baby for adoption. You refused, so you emptied your savings account and booked a ticket to DC, where your cousin was willing to take you and the baby in. There, you finished up your GED online, got a part time job, and began to raise Carter. 

“Yeah.” You paused. “She was born May 19th. She’s 12 now.” Spencer was hanging on to every word that came out of your mouth. “She reminds me a lot of you. She’s always reading, and she loves school. I would say I’m surprised that she found you, but she’s way smarter than I am.”

“You never told her about me?”

“I told her some stuff. She knows that we dated in high school, and that you went to college early. I didn’t want her to feel abandoned, so I told her that you left before I could tell you I was pregnant.”

“You could’ve told me.” Spencer didn’t seem angry, but it was very clear how upset he was.

“I know I could’ve. But I was 16, and the only person in my life that was willing to accept me and Carter was my cousin, and she was only 22 at the time. I didn’t want to reach out to you only for you to reject me too.” Your response didn’t appear to make Spencer feel much better. “Look, Spencer, you can be mad at me all you want, but it’s obvious Carter wants to get to know you. I won’t force you to be a part of her life now, but don’t cut her out because you’re mad at me.”

Before Spencer could respond, there was a knock at the door, and a brunette woman poked her head in. “Sorry, I know this is important, but we have a case. Spence, Hotch said you can stay back, work this case from here with Garcia.”

“No, I don’t want to take you away from work.” You saw a stray piece of paper on the table, and reached into your purse to grab a pen. You quickly wrote your number and address on the paper, before pushing it towards Spencer. “Work your case, and when it’s over, we can talk more. It’ll give you some time to think things through.” Spencer looked at your words on the paper, and only nodded in response.

“You daughter is in JJ’s office, I’ll walk you over.” The brunette agent said, so you followed her out to pick up Carter.

~~~ 

A week later, you hadn’t received any calls from Spencer. Carter asked for updates practically every hour. You were tempted to give her back her phone and books just to get her off your back about him, but she’s grounded. That means the only books she’s allowed to read are for school, but right now it feels like you’re being punished just as much as she is. You were in the kitchen making dinner for the two of you when you heard a knock on the door. “C? Can you get the door? Check the peephole first-”

“I know, I know, never open the door for strangers.” Carter interrupted you, pausing her studying in the living room to walk out of your sight and to the door. You faintly heard the sound of the door opening before Carter spoke again. “Mom? Can Dad stay for dinner?” The mention of Spencer shocked you, and caused you to trip over your own feet and hit your knee against one of the cabinets.

“Shit!” You said loudly, reaching down to rub your hand against what would quickly become a bruise. Just as this happened, Carter and Spencer entered the room. Carter with a large smile on her face.

“That’s a dollar in my jar!” She said happily, grabbing your wallet from the counter and handing it to you.

“Yeah, I know.” You rolled your eyes, pulling a dollar out and handing it to her so she could put it in her jar.

“Mom and I each have a jar, and at the end of the month we go shopping with whatever money we have. Whenever she swears, I get a dollar, and whenever I do, she gets a dollar.” Carter explained for Spencer, then lowered her voice to a whisper, that you still easily hear, “I always have more money to spend.”

“Hey! That’s not true!” You defended yourself, even though you know she’s right. While the swear jar had easily stopped your daughter from using foul language (that she’d picked up from you), you had a lot more trouble holding your tongue.

“If your language is anything like it was in high school, then Carter is probably right.” Spencer joked, causing Carter to laugh.

“You know I don’t have to feed you two, I can eat all of this myself.” You responded, turning back to your stove.

“You wouldn’t!” Carter gasped, which caused you to laugh, giving yourself away. 

“Ok, ok, you’re right. This time.” You paused for a moment, “Hey C, Spencer likes reading almost as much as you do. Why don’t you grab one of your favorites from the shelf for him to read?” Carter clearly liked this idea, because she was running to her room in an instant, yelling facts about her favorite book from her room. You knew you’d only have a minute alone with Spencer, so you turned away from the food and back to him. “Are you sure?” You asked.

You could tell from the look on Spencer’s face that he understood exactly what you meant. Once he decides to be Carter’s dad, he can’t go back. You were giving him an out.

“Yes.” He answered, with more confidence than you’d ever seen from him.

“Good.” You said, with a small smile ghosting your face. Just as quickly as she left, Carter came bounding back into the room, carrying 5 books instead of the one you’d suggested.

“I couldn’t choose a favorite book. I read kind of fast, but you can borrow these for as long as you want! I don’t mind sharing.”

“Oh yeah? How fast did you read these?” Spencer asked, looking over the book descriptions on the back.

“I usually read a book a day. Sometimes I finish books in a few hours if they’re interesting enough.”

“Impressive! Maybe one day you’ll be on my level.” Spencer bragged. You tuned out of the conversation as Spencer began talking about how fast he reads, and how Carter could learn to read faster. You just watched them, enjoying the fact that for the first time ever, Carter could have a dad. And maybe, with time, you’ll end up being some kind of family.

~~~

taglist: @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @la-vie-en-amour1 @peculiarinsomniac

[lovelyirony]

Moony-Eyed

@bironfam i hope this is okay! 

Tony didn’t think that their new astronaut was going to be anything special. 

Well. 

That’s a lie. 

You kind of have to be special if you’re going to be an astronaut for NASA. You have to keep your cool, have good eyesight, and be okay with the possibility of dying. Maybe. Maybe you have to be cool with that. 

Tony is rather good at his job. From revolutionizing how space suits are made to making the functions of the ship easier to manage, Tony is NASA’s secret weapon, the handyman of all handymen. 

He’s usually squirreled away in his workshop, at his apartment that he honestly needs to clean far more than he does, or arguing with Potts about why he needs eight different coffee mugs. 

They know him as a guy who doesn’t exactly give a rat’s ass about the chain of command, or dress code. 

“You can’t fire me,” he had told Happy, after he had tried once again to stop Tony from entering areas containing sensitive information in sweatpants and a sweatshirt that proclaimed him the “MIT class of 1992.” 

Tony is good at his job, nearly too good. He likes it that way. 

But back to the astronaut. 

Danvers had taken leave to take care of her family, and honestly? Space usually isn’t a lifetime event for astronauts. You see too much of it, you need time away. A lot of time away. 

Pepper is giddy. She loved Carol, but Carol was happily married with a baby girl, and this one? This one wasn’t. 

Not that Pepper was looking for anyone. No, she and her partner Nat had standing date nights every Saturday evening, and she loved them too much to even think about anything else. 

But Tony? Tony needed someone. He never really dated anybody, at least not anybody that he genuinely liked. 

Stark was a powerful name, and it got tossed around a little bit, but Tony mostly kept to himself and only responded to it when he was at a party or Happy was mad at him for forgetting his ID badge yet again. 

James Rhodes was a nicely built man with a strong, confident aura, and single. 

(Pepper had checked.) 

She thought that he and Tony would get along quite well, if anything. 

James is shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He’d rather just get to work on what he needs to do. Getting into the air is one of the best feelings, and the sooner he can experience it, the sooner he’ll be fine. 

He always pushed the limits, and space is just the last limit he gets to push. He’s excited. He’s always wanted to work for NASA, be on their roster of astronauts. He wants little kids who identify with him to know that they can do it too. 

So he’s ready to work with the best and brightest of their era. 

“Where the fuck are my nachos?!” 

His head whips around to a man who is wearing an ill-fitting cardigan (that is most likely not his), old jeans that have what look to be equations written on one thigh, and glasses that are most definitely broken sitting at an angle. 

“Your nachos were too close to the computers,” one woman says without looking up. “Stop bringing nachos here or I’m going to fucking kill you.” 

“You can’t kill me,” the man retorts. 

“Tony,” comes another voice. James turns and sees who must be Pepper Potts. “Go to your office. Now. Change your pants, you wrote on them again.” 

“I did?” 

He looks down and swears. 

“Son of a bitch!” He then looks at Jim. “Wait, who are you? Are you the new astronaut?” 

“Uh, yes? I’m James.” 

He sticks out his hand. 

Who seems to be Tony stares at his hand. 

“Your name is seriously James?” 

“Do you think I’m bad at jokes?” he asks, eyebrows raised. 

Tony grins. 

“No, I think you’re gonna be a riot. But I’m not calling you James.” 

“Jim, then.” 

“No,” Tony says. “You’re not an old man, you’re still attractive.” 

His eyebrows raise. 

Tony’s face pales. 

“I’m going to. Go. I have math on my pants.” 

Pepper snorts, readjusting her grip on her clipboard. 

“Welcome to NASA, Colonel Rhodes. I can promise you that we don’t usually yell about our lunch location or write on articles of clothing.” 

- 

Surprisingly, James doesn’t see Tony for two weeks. Apparently, he’s been working outside with a couple of the interns to calculate some stuff, rework some of the older ships for experience, and stay out of the way of Pepper, who says that he’s attempting to murder her via headaches to deal with. 

He seems interesting, however. There are sticky notes and papers all over the offices and breakrooms reminding people of what Tony had for breakfast/lunch/dinner, or where the extra coffee supplies are. 

“You provide for him?” he asks Pepper one time. 

“He gets too much into his own head sometimes,” Pepper says. “He focuses too much on a program or an improvement and forgets that he works around other people. You wouldn’t believe how many times we had miniature science experiments based off of lunches that he would leave in the fridge.” 

Rhodes nods. “Well. I’ll look forward to working with him.” 

- 

Tony has been working outside of the office for two reasons: 

1.) To legitimately help the interns. (Ned and Peter are making improvements!) 

2.) James Rhodes is the hottest guy on earth. Maybe in the universe. For real. Seriously. 

He hates Pepper for this. Didn’t even tell Tony what the new astronaut looked like, and then shows up with a god of a man. Rude and unfair. 

And he had to be the dumbass with the equation on his pants. 

He didn’t even have spare pants! He had to stay in his office for the whole day because the equation was actually really important and he needed it. 

“Why didn’t you just transfer it over on paper?” Bruce asks over the phone. Bruce is his friend who works in a technically classified, off-the-books, not-exactly-government-issued building. He’s cool. He also points out the obvious. 

“I’m the biggest idiot on the planet,” Tony groans. “There was just a new guy at work, and he threw me off balance, so-” 

“What’s he look like?” 

“Why, you not crushing on that hot Nordic space dude?” 

“No, still am. But I still remember when Barton came to work for you guys and you didn’t know that his name wasn’t George until about six months into him working there.” 

“In my defense, he works mostly with physical therapy and prep for no gravity,” Tony says. “I work with math and shit.” 

“Still,” Bruce says. “You wouldn’t have pointed him out if you didn’t think he was cute. What’s he like?” 

“I...don’t exactly know.” 

“Oh my god, you’ve been avoiding him?” 

“Oh what, like you didn’t jump out of a window when Thor almost saw you in a tank top?” 

“I have a farmer’s tan! Totally different circumstance!” 

“Is it?” 

“I hate you.” 

“Get to dating Thor and then we’ll talk again. Have fun re-revolutionizing green energy, Dr. Banner.” 

“Look to the stars, Tony.” 

- 

James has to get fitted for his suit. 

He faces Tony, who looks quite different from when he first saw him. His hair is somewhat less messy, he has one of those geeky NASA-logo shirts that they sell at Target, and is wearing khaki pants with about a million different pockets. 

(Something in his mind is whispering that he definitely shouldn’t find him attractive. But he will anyways.) 

“Alright space-cowboy, let’s get your measurements,” Tony says. “You feeling okay today?” 

“Right as rain.” 

“Rain is never good, sunshine,” Tony quips. “Now, about your nickname from me...hm. Rhodey.” 

“How’d you figure that out?” 

“Substituted the ‘s’ for a ‘y’, just simple stuff,” he says with a shrug. “You approve?” 

“I...guess.” 

“Good. Now Rhodey, how are you feeling?” 

“Like sunshine and gumdrops,” he responds sarcastically. 

Tony smiles, and damn if it makes his heart thump a bit. 

“Better answer, soldier. Extend those arms, please.” 

Tony smells really nice. Subtle cologne and clean laundry. Rhodey finds that he likes it. 

“How’ve you been doing, Tony?” 

“Like a gentle breeze on a day that’s seventy-two degrees,” Tony answers. “Work’s been good today. Helen made tacos.” 

“I had some of those, they were pretty good.” 

“Mm,” Tony answers. “Legs a bit more apart, thank you.” 

Rhodey shifts his stance a little bit, carefully not watching Tony bend down just a tad to get the bottom of his foot. 

(But oof, that was hard.) 

Tony comes back up again, looking into Rhodey’s eyes. For a moment, for a brief moment, his breath is taken away. 

“I need to wrap my measuring tape around your waist. You okay with that?” 

“More than.” 

“Don’t get saucy,” Tony winks. “No one likes more than one floozy at the office, and that’s what got me this job anyways.” 

Rhodey lets out a laugh, and Tony grins. 

He likes making him laugh. Likes it more than he should. 

- 

They spend more and more time together. Tony always makes adjustments, Rhodey realizes that Tony doesn’t exactly keep track of when he eats, so they have lunch together. 

They like it a lot. 

On good-weather days, they eat outside on a bench. Tony leans against one said, foot brushing Rhodey’s calf, and Rhodey doesn’t really mind because he’ll lean over occasionally and steal whatever Tony’s eating. 

“This is theft, you know.” 

“You eat like a bird, what do you know about food theft?” 

Tony almost always stays later than anyone else except for nights with Rhodey. 

Once a month, they have dinner together. Rhodey’s new to the area and Tony’s almost never social with anyone, so they’ve been working through a list of the three-star-rated restaurants and seeing which ones they like. 

“It’s kind of like a date,” Pepper says, on her monthly hangout with Tony (and also kind of a clean-up party for his house). 

“Not dates,” Tony says. “Just friends. I’m sure he has his eye on someone in or out of the office.” 

“Like you?” 

“His first impression of me was me writing an equation on my pair of jeans, and then I haven’t exactly upgraded my style since,” Tony deadpans. “He’s seen me in neon orange sweatpants, Pep. You don’t exactly come back from that.” 

“Maybe he likes you for who you are!” 

“God that’s such a bullshit answer,” Tony whines. “You sound like a straight-to-video movie that came out in 1997!” 

“That’s too specific.” 

“And? You still get the point!” 

Pepper flings a pillow his way. 

“Where is your wine?” 

“In the same cabinet you always leave it.” 

“Goody.” 

While Pepper sways to bed, Tony thinks about what she said. 

It could be possible. Tony had never exactly asked him about himself in that capacity, but Rhodey never had an odd reaction to a statement that involved talking about a partner of the same-sex or a one-liner about it. 

Maybe? 

...no. 

Guys like Rhodey deserved someone better than someone who forgot to eat lunch four out of the seven days of the week. (And maybe four was being generous.) 

- 

On the flipside, Rhodey was currently telling his woes to Carol, who was laughing at him. 

“You nerd!” she says. “You like Tony, and you’ve done nothing about it? Have you even told him that you also like guys? Cuffed your pants?” 

“No,” Rhodey says. “I just...why would he like someone like me? I’m...boring.” 

“You’re not boring,” Carol says. 

“Yeah you are!” Maria calls from the kitchen. “You’re very boring, Mr. ‘Only-Drinks-Black-Coffee’!” 

Carol giggles. 

“Maybe Maria has a point. Maybe.” 

Rhodey groans, leaning against the couch. 

“I’m so fucked.” 

“On the contrary-” 

“Oh shut up.” 

- 

Pepper is tired of people’s problems. They’re getting closer and closer to launch, and Clint’s out sick and Helen is being weird again, and Jane is off somewhere to a secret government-but-not-government launch to discuss things with two potential boyfriends. (Maybe boyfriends. Maybe.) 

Tony is getting stressed. 

Usually, he’s the only one who’s fine during a launch. He’s still cracking jokes, making fun events, and calming down people who are a bit too nervous. 

But usually, he’s not as close to the astronaut as this. 

He’s been thinking about the accidents they’ve had over the years. He doesn’t want a repeat. He’s been pulling all-nighters, avoiding sleep, and checking in on Rhodey consistently, to the point where Rhodey has to drag him outside and tell him that things will be fine. 

(In Pepper’s professional opinion, they’d be fine if they just did a goodbye kiss or whatever, but okay.) 

Tony’s getting into his own head. 

So is Rhodey. 

He’s going to be gone for a long time. He’s going to miss the holidays. And Tony won’t be able to talk to him everyday. 

“You should tell him,” Pepper murmurs. “I think you both would benefit from it.” 

“I’m not going to play that unfair card,” Rhodey murmurs back. “I either confess my love and go to a dangerous mission knowing that he loves me back and I said it when I can’t return, or he doesn’t and I just played a guilt-trip card.” 

“It’s not like that.” 

“Isn’t it?” 

Rhodey shakes his head. 

“I...I can’t do that to him. Wouldn’t be right. After the mission.” 

“After, then,” Pepper says. “When you come home.” 

Rhodey grins. 

- 

The day of launch happens far quicker than anyone wants it to, most of all Tony. 

Pepper actually kicked him out of his office, told him to shower, and wear something nice for once. 

“Make sure he knows he has someone to come home to,” Pepper says. “Wear your turtleneck!” 

“It’s only September,” Tony scowls. “And he’s his own person who’s about to launch himself into space.” 

“He will be fine,” Pepper says. “With your research and work, we’ve cut down overlooked mistakes by about forty percent.” 

“Still not half.” 

“Because we’re NASA,” Pepper sniffs. “Our mistakes matter more, so we make less of them.” 

Tony nods. 

-

He ends up almost being late to the launch because of Pepper’s stupid wardrobe advice. 

He’s wearing his nicest pair of pants, a button-up that’s been at the back of his closet for quite some time, and he’s feeling stupid because he had to play AC/DC in the car so he would actually focus on what was going on. 

Now he’s waiting for Rhodey to exit wearing the space suit that he made and to tell everyone that it was an honor and a privilege to be going to space where things happen and Tony can’t be there to help. 

Life sucks. 

But it goes on, and there’s Rhodey in the brilliantly-designed suit, and Tony’s never been more proud and more sad, but he sucks up his tears and walks up anyways. 

“Hey space-cowboy. Ready to explore the frontier?” 

“As ever,” Rhodey says. “You ready to forget to eat your lunch all over again?” 

Tony smiles. 

“You’ll have to check in with me soon, then,” Tony says. “Cut the mission short?” 

Rhodey laughs. 

“Wish I could. But I’ll send you pictures,” he says. “I promise.” 

Tony stops for a moment, smile dropping from his face. 

“Promise me one more thing.” 

“Anything,” Rhodey says. “Anything you want.”  

“Come back safe. Swear to me that you will.” 

Rhodey grins. 

“Safe and sound, honey. Safe and sound.” 

Tony watches him board the ship, wave to the cameras, and wink at him. 

He rolls his eyes, but blows a kiss anyways. 

-

Tony’s a nervous wreck. 

Pepper has decided that Rhodey needs to not go on missions anymore, or at least take Tony with him because he’s annoying. 

“Can you stop crying on the second floor bathroom? It’s getting annoying,” Pepper says. “Clint says he can hear you and feels bad.” 

“Well how are we supposed to know that Rhodey’s okay?!” Tony says. “For all I know, he could be dead!” 

“I really hope you don’t mean that,” comes a voice from behind. 

Tony whips around, seeing Rhodey’s grainy face from the big screen. 

“You bitch!” 

He laughs, and it doesn’t sound real, but he can see him. 

“Hey Tony. You been making sure no one is pissed at you for forgetting your dinner in the fridge?” 

“Well, now I will,” he admits. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” Rhodey smiles. “How’s everything been down there?” 

“Boring,” Tony says. “When are you coming back?” 

“I got about two more months,” Rhodey says. “And then I’ll be back.” 

“Quit hogging all the screen time,” Natasha teases. “You lovebirds can have your moment on earth.” 

Tony blinks. 

“What.” 

But by that time, Natasha and Sam have already been asking a million questions, and Pepper is filling Rhodey in on what he’s missed. 

Tony is still stuck on the whole ‘lovebirds’ thing that Natasha suggested. 

...that couldn’t be possible. And yet if other people saw it that way...

“Tony? Tony?” 

He blinks again, looking back up at the screen. 

Rhodey is smiling at him, that smile that means that he’s happy to see someone. 

“I’ll see you soon, honey.” 

“Right back at you, space-cowboy.” 

The screen goes to black, and Tony smiles a bit. 

“Aw, you nerd,” Clint teases. “So, you gonna ask him out on a date?” 

“Clint, I will cut off your leg,” Tony says cheerily. “I have to go finish some paperwork!” 

Tony’s done all of his paperwork, it’s one of the few times that Pepper’s had it done on time. 

He has to keep doing things to stop thinking about Rhodey. 

-

He writes him letters. He knows that he won’t ever read them, but writing letters helps and sometimes it makes his hands less jittery. 

He’s not ever going to send them. Ever. Letters are cheesy and they feel...personal. 

Pepper tells him that he’s being lame. 

“I’m not being lame!” Tony cries. “I am just. Protecting myself!” 

“You have the reasoning of a Jane Austen love interest,” she says flatly. “I swear if you don’t tell him, then I’ll meddle. And you know how bad I am when I meddle.” 

“You literally have made things so much worse for so many people,” Tony responds. 

“Not worse, per se.” 

“Oh right, how could I forget?” Tony exclaims sarcastically. “You made things the worst.” 

“If we weren’t such good friends, you’d be dead,” Pepper says. 

“Then let’s be worst enemies,” Tony mutters. “You still ready for pizza night?” 

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Pepper says. “Meet at your place at seven, right?” 

“Right.” 

-

Here is what Tony does not know: Rhodey’s coming back down earlier than expected, and Pepper knows this. 

So she’s been busying Tony with work while she’s acclimating Rhodey to life on earth again. 

“Has he really missed me?” Rhodey asks for about the twentieth time in about two hours. 

“Yes,” Pepper says. “I hope these aren’t your talking points for your interviews. If people know you’re this much of a love-struck idiot in real life, they won’t take you seriously.” 

“I just missed him!” 

“Oh sure,” she responds, rolling her eyes. “And I’m sure you’ll tell the news reporters that you missed me with as many stars in your eyes as now. You like him, you absolute geek.” 

“Well, maybe a little,” Rhodey mutters. “But you’re sure he’ll like the surprise?” 

“One hundred percent.” 

-

Tony is having, perhaps, the worst day in his life. Maybe in history, if he’s being quite honest. 

His car, for one thing, won’t start for more than is done-away-with concern, so he has to call Pepper and say that he’s going to be late since he has to fix his own car. 

“Will you get coffee on the way here?” Pepper asks. 

“Your usual order?” 

“Yeah, you know the drill.” 

Then the line is long because some stupid person wanted to complain, and Tony was this close to just threatening to buy the entire store to make it stop, and he cried on his way to work because he saw a duck cross the road and it reminded him of how Rhodey crashed his first car avoiding a duck that was crossing the road. 

Yeah. It’s rough. 

Then he parks in the wrong parking spot because some asshole with a stupid rental car took his usual spot, and then he stepped in a puddle. 

He hates today. 

“Pepper!” he declares as he enters the building. “I wore jeans today, I got your coffee, and I’m already done with the day. I swear to god if one more unexpected thing happens, I’ll just say ‘fuck it’ and go work for the Soviets!” 

“The Soviets aren’t a thing, Tones.” 

He knows that voice. 

He fucking knows that voice. He isn’t supposed to be back from that mission for another month. 

Tony doesn’t turn around. 

“I’m hallucinating. Oh my god, I’m hallucinating.” 

Hands wrap around his neck, hugging him. 

“This feel like a hallucination?” 

(Okay so Tony drops the coffee.) 

Rhodey’s smile is blinding, and he’s...he’s here. Right in front of him with those not-supposed-to-be-that-hot polo shirts, those eyes that he could get lost in, and just...

Well. 

He hugs him and he hugs him tightly. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back so soon?!” 

“Pepper organized it,” Rhodey says, giddy. “Decided it would be a nice surprise for you.” 

Tony looks over at Pepper, who’s trying to hide a grin behind her hands. 

“Pepper if I wasn’t so over-the-moon right now, your heels would be snapped.” 

She shrugs. 

“Worth it. You requested today off, by the way.” She winks as she turns back to her office. 

“Well, what do you say?” Rhodey asked. “Help me get used to having my feet back on the ground?” 

Tony grins. 

“Dinner sounds like a good start. Gotta get you some good earth food, none of that dehydrated crap.” 

“Do you know how long it’s been since I had a decent slice of pizza?” 

Tony grins. 

“I can fix that.” 

[multiharlot]

real life spencer / matthew gray gubler x reader

summary: in which matthew meets the woman who inspired the man that’s stolen the hearts of america.

masterlist

part two

third person pov

the girl walked timidly through the busy filming set, clutching her hands around the strap of her shoulder bag. she approaches the studio doors, rocking awkwardly on her white low top vans and running her hand through her hair. her yellow midi skirt swayed softly over her legs as the warm los angeles breeze floated through her white button up. the doors open suddenly and she jumps back, nearly tripping over herself. 

“you must be, y/n. i’m jeff davis, thank you for coming in today.” the man smiles, sticking his hand out to the girl. 

her mouth opens and closes before she smiles. 

“hi. sorry umm...germ thing.” she chuckled awkwardly. 

“oh. oh right i’m sorry. come in and meet the cast.” he says, wiping his hands on his pants and opening the door wider.

she stepped into the doors, tucking her hair behind her ears and waiting for jeff to lead the way. 

“we really appreciate you being here and consulting with us. we want to make this show as real as possible.” he explains as he leads her towards the writers room. 

“of course, i’m happy to help. you did decide to base a character off of me, it’s the least i can do.” she nods, the thought in her mind made her feel slightly awkward, but grateful nonetheless. 

“yes, the cast is so excited to meet you by the way. we all were. it’s not everyday you get to meet a real life genius.” he chuckles. 

“technically, passing the IQ test only determines that you have a certain IQ. a large portion of those with higher IQ’s aren’t all that smart. high IQ’s couldn’t determine your true intelligence, never mind a genius.” she shrugs, silently reveling in the fact that yet another person had called her a genius. 

she secretly hated the term genius. as complimenting as it was, the word had hung over her head her entire life. she herself never believe she was a genius, and the word alone made her feel as though she had to meet a certain quota. the idea of being a genius held her to a standard that she felt she couldn’t meet. 

“right...well i mean, you do have an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory. so...you’re the most genius non-genius i’ve ever met.” jeff shrugged, stopping in front of the white door. 

“yeah...” the girl trails off, stopping beside him. 

“well this is the writer’s room, and this is our cast. everyone, meet agent- sorry, dr. y/n y/l/n. doctor, i give you the criminal minds cast.” jeff smiles as he opens the door, leading the girl into the room. 

she rocked awkwardly on her sneakers, waving timidly. 

“oh you’re so cute!” kirsten squeals, wrapping her arms around the girl, making her jump back. 

“sorry. ah. i’m sorry. i just uhh...germ thing.” she chuckles, making kirsten blush. 

“oh. oh i’m so sorry. i’m just a hugger.”

“that’s okay. you know our tendency to engage in physical touch is often a product of our upbringing. those of us who’s parents weren’t as physically demonstrative tend to disengage from activities like hugging, or even something as simple as a pat on the back.” the girl rambles nervously, making everyone in the room pause. 

“although, some children tend to have the exact opposite effect, leading to a starvation for human physical interaction, which in turn actually turns them into huggers.” matthew smiles widely at the girl. 

she blushes, and a nervous chuckle escapes her lips.

“you must be dr. spencer reid, nice to meet you.” she smiles, nodding her head at the man. 

“my name is matthew. matthew gray gubler. and it’s nice to meet you too, doctor.” he smirks, looking the girl up at down. 

shemar raises his eyebrow at him, an impressed smirk growing onto his face. 

“right, well, y/n here has graciously taken the day off to help assist in our terminology and making this show as realistic as possible. so, let’s get started.” jeff smiles, closing the door behind him. 

the room buzzes with light chatter as everyone begins taking their seats. y/n stood awkwardly off to the side, unsure of where she would be going. matthew takes note of this, and smiles softly, standing from his chair and walking over to her. 

“you can come sit next to me.” he smiles. 

“o-okay.” she nods, clutching the strap of her bag tightly and following beside him. 

the cast all exchange knowing looks as they looked from each other to the pair off in their own little world. 

“so, tell me, is working in the fbi as hectic as we’re making it seem?” matthew asks, leaning his head on his hands. 

“yes and no. we’re more of a sub-unit within the national center for the analysis of violent crimes. there are a total of six different behavioral analysis units, each of us working for a different type of crime.” she explains as the writers scribbled across their notepads feverishly. 

“and which one are you on?” thomas asks, and she smiles as she looks at the man. 

“i work in analysis unit 4, which is crimes against adults and we also work hand in hand with the violent criminal apprehension program, also known as ViCap.”

“is it true you graduated high school at twelve? or did jeff just make that up?” kirsten asks, her eyes wide and curious. 

“thirteen. not twelve. and after high school, i attended Stanford, Cal Tech, and then Harvard where i was immediately recruited by the US government. i’m not supposed to tell you this, but it’s true what they say about those who take math 55.”

“how many PhD’s do you have?” aj asks as she leans onto the table.

“two. chemistry and clinical psychology. and i also have a master’s degree in neurobiology.”

“did they wave you through the academy the same way they did pretty boy, here?” shemar asks, ruffling the top of matthew’s head. 

“no they did not. i actually went through the training, same as everyone else. one thing that isn’t accurate about this show, however, is that our agents are actually required to take a certain amount of personal days per month, and there’s a mandatory 12 hours of counseling with our building psychologist that we have to complete every month.” 

“how many personal days?” matthew asks, a flirtatious smile slapped on his face causing the butterflies to go into a frenzy in y/n’s stomach. 

“u-um. i have a quota of three days per month. so i usually take a long weekend at the end of every month.” she smiles, nervously tucking her hair behind her ears. 

“do you carry a gun? oh! can we see your credentials?” aj gasps, almost excitedly. 

“i do. but only when i’m on the job. otherwise, i don’t like having them. and uhh..yeah sure.” y/n mumbles, rummaging through her purse and pulling out both her credentials and her identification card. 

y/n hands them to matthew and his fingers graze lightly over hers, causing a blush to form over her cheeks. he passes them along to the rest of the cast and he then looks down at the girl next to him. 

“can i draw you?”

“only if i can draw you.”

matthew chuckles, nodding his head. and the two mindlessly doodled each other as the meeting went on. y/n answered what seemed like an endless amount of questions and matthew simply stared her. her eyes, her nose, her lips. he found her absolutely beautiful, and he couldn’t manage to tear his eyes away from her for longer than 2 minutes at a time. as y/n finished her one line doodle of matthew, she scribbled a quick note at the bottom of the page, and tore it out of her notebook. matthew ripped the page from his, ready to hand it to the girl when jeff interrupted them. 

“alright guys, we’ll see you tomorrow. and thank you, dr. y/l/n, for coming in. i can’t explain how informative you’ve been.”

odd choice of words, she thought. but she nodded, saying you’re welcome nonetheless. 

everyone began to exit the room and matthew called out for the doctor, stopping her in her tracks. she looks up at him only realize just how tall he really was. 

“here.” he smiled, handing over the paper. 

to: the real life spencer reid from: gatthew may bugler

she giggled as she opened the page, seeing the truly abstract drawing of herself. 

“this is actually really good.” she smiled, staring down at the page. 

“thank you. it helped to have such a beautiful model.” he says, biting his lip nervously. 

a blush covered her cheeks and her ears and she giggled nervously. 

“well umm...here.” she says, handing over her page. 

when he folds open the paper, his mouth falls open at the beautiful one-line drawing she had done of him. then, his eyes fall to the bottom of the page, and his mouth runs dry.

“umm..give me a call if you need any...character reference.” she says as she rocks back and forth on her feet. 

“can i call you even if i don’t need any character reference?”

she smiles, nodding her head. 

“would uh...would you maybe want to go grab lunch with me?” he asks, scratching nervously at the back of his neck.

she opens her mouth to say something when her phone rings out. her eyebrows furrow as she pulls her phone out of her bag, her partners name across the top. 

“sorry, this’ll just take a second- i’m on my personal time, fields.” she sighs into the phone. 

“no no i know. so am i. and i also know you’re in los angeles. wanna go check out the bureau offices?”

“sorry, i have plans.” y/n shrugs, staring up at matthew. 

“oh do you? doing what?” fields questions. 

y/n bites her lip, reaching over and grabbing matthew’s hand. 

“someone’s taking me to lunch” she smiles, pulling matthew towards the studio exit and hanging up the phone.

“so, where are we going mr. bugler?” she smiles. 

“i thought you had a germ thing.” he says, raising an eyebrow at their intertwined hands.

��i’ll make an exception for you.” she shrugs, making him smile. 

“well, how does chinese sound?”

“perfect..as long as i don’t have to use those god awful chopsticks.”

“a PhD in engineering yet you can’t use chopsticks?”

“excuse you. dr. reid is the one with the PhD in engineering. i only have PhD’s in chemistry and psychology.”

“oh. yeah. only.”

taglist:

@dreatine​ @slytherinintj13​ @mileven-reddie​ @eleventhdoctorsangel​ @haileymorelikestupid

[wheresmynaya]

Lost in the Lights Ch.4 | Brittana

Posting early today since the Steelers game has been postponed so many times I've lost all concept of time LOL. Anyway, I get a real kick out of everyone that mentions they're a Steelers fan in their reviews. Wave that Terrible Towel for me too (I left mine in American, such a rookie mistake).

Also Happy late Thanksgiving, hope everyone had a safe holiday with lots of laughs.

Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x)

It’s Wednesday morning and Brittany’s walking with Kurt to their first class of the day when McKinley High’s mascot comes running down the hall at them. They barely get out of his way in time as he continues whooping down the hallway. Students around cheer but Brittany just stares blankly, trying to understand what that was all about.

“That guy does his Spirit Run every year around this time,” Kurt explains.

“Spirit Run?”

“Yeah. It’s really just an excuse for him to run around the halls like a crazy person,” Kurt says, “You’ll probably see it again at least three more times this week.”

“You guys really go all out here,” Brittany mentions as she and Kurt begin to walk again without fear of getting trampled.

“Told you,” Kurt shrugs, “Homecoming is one of McKinley’s biggest events.”

“Small towns are so weird,” Brittany chuckles.

“They are, but I do love a good theme,” Kurt replies then gasps as he turns to her, “Have you given any thought to who you’ll be going with?”

Brittany laughs a little louder, but then stifles it when she sees Kurt look at her in confusion.

“I wasn’t going to ask anyone,” She says with a shrug.

Kurt’s baffled and stops mid-step, “What? Why not?”

“I don’t really have anyone in mind,” Brittany answers simply, “Why? What’s the issue?”

“You have to have an escort, Britt,” Kurt urges, “You’re apart of the Homecoming Court now, you can’t just attend the dance alone.”

Brittany rolls her eyes at how serious he’s making it all sound, “Why not? What’s going to happen to me if I don’t go with anyone?”

Kurt stammers, “Uh…nothing I guess but it’s not something people usually do. You’re pretty popular, Britt, why don’t you use that to your advantage like everyone else here? I’m sure you’d find a date easily if you asked around.”

“Okay fine,” Brittany smirks, “Do you want to go with me?”

Kurt gives her a look, “I’m flattered but I already agreed to go with a group from Glee Club.”

“Well look at that. I tried,” Brittany fakes defeat, “Guess I’ll be going alone then.”

“But –“

“I’ll be fine, Kurt. You said it yourself, nothing will happen to me if I go alone,” Brittany chuckles as she enters the classroom.

Kurt just sighs and follows after Brittany.

\\

The day goes on as usual for Brittany until she arrives to her Home Room class for third bell. It’s one of her favorite parts of the day; half of the bell is spent on studying and using your time wisely before everyone’s released for lunch. It’s kind of her time to wind down from all the info-intake, but sometimes she tries to get a jump on homework so she doesn’t have to do much after practice.

It’s also the class before her final one of the day which she gets to spend with Santana.

She has barely walked through the door when her teacher hands her a note saying she’s needed in Ms. Pillsbury’s office. She recognizes the name from when Santana mentioned her awhile ago, but Brittany frowns as she looks over the note.

“Am I going to miss lunch?” She asks but the teacher just shrugs and tells her to get going.

She doesn’t actually know where the office is so she ends up wandering around downstairs until another teacher spots her for looking lost.

“Hey, where are you supposed to be?” They demand.

Brittany just hands over the note like it’s a hall pass, “I’m not sure where her office is.”

She smiles innocently and it’s enough to have the teacher relaxing. Thankfully they offer to lead the way to where she needs to be without any further questions.

When she finally gets to the office, she knocks gently at the glass. There’s a red-haired woman sitting daintily behind a desk polishing off her stapler with a wet wipe. Kind of odd, but Brittany doesn’t question it as a pleasant smile fills the woman’s face upon seeing her standing there.

“Brittany, hi! Please come in,” She says and motions for the blonde to have a seat, “I’m Ms. Pillsbury, I’ll be your designated guidance counselor and college advisor.”

“Hi,” Brittany nods behind a polite smile as she goes to sit, “Am I in trouble or something?”

“No, no. Of course not,” Ms. Pillsbury assures her.

Brittany’s only a little relieved by that.

“I’ve been trying to make my rounds in meeting with all the Seniors just to make sure that everyone’s on track with deadlines for college applications,” She explains, “I have a little information on you from your old school, but I just wanted to check in and introduce myself properly since you’re new here. How are you finding McKinley so far?”

“It’s nice,” Brittany answers softly.

She doesn’t know what it is about the guidance counselor’s office that makes her feel nervous. Maybe because she spent so much time in it at the beginning of the year? She was always being checked on because of her ailing dad, it always made her feel so uneasy.

“I see you’ve been making quite the splash with the Titans,” Ms. Pillsbury says kindly, “It’s great to see a new student getting so involved. I’m sure the team is happy you’re here.”

“Yeah,” Brittany shrugs; she’s not exactly sure how to answer that especially after taking her stance on slushie facials. They work better as a team on the field but there’s still a little tension.

“So plans for college,” Ms. Pillsbury continues once she sees she’s not going to get anything else out of Brittany.

Brittany shifts uncomfortably in her seat, her hands tightening around the spine of her binder. Talking about her future like this always puts her on edge for some reason. She knows her parents – mostly her dad – always wanted her to go to college after high school, so she wants to honor that. She wants it for herself too, but it’s kind of overwhelming sometimes, especially when she feels like sports are the only thing she’s good at.

That’s not true – she’s a whizz in math and science – but does she really want to make a career out of it? She has no idea, it’s probably a good idea that she figure that out soon though.

All she knows is that GPAs are important and hers isn’t the best it could be. Her grades really took a hit when her dad passed away, but she was able to finish her Junior year relatively strong considering everything that happened. Maybe she’ll be okay?

“It says here that you’ve already taken the SATs twice,” Ms. Pillsbury notes, “Your scores are very good.”

Brittany nods again, “Yes, I sat the exam just before I moved here. I figured that I would be too focused on getting adjusted to a new school to study again.”

“That’s smart,” Ms. Pillsbury smiles, “You’re ahead of many Seniors here, it’s nice to see someone taking the initiative.”

“Yeah,” Brittany just shrugs, “I’m hoping that I can get a scholarship for playing football or something. I know it’s kind of a long shot for someone like me. It’s super rare that a female football player gets a scholarship.”

“But it isn’t impossible, I think that’s the important part so don’t doubt yourself. You could very well get a scholarship for your talents on the field,” Ms. Pillsbury assures her, “It says in your file that you’ve had scouts attend your games at your old school: one for the Florida State and another for Auburn. That’s really impressive, Brittany.”

“Thank you,” Brittany blushes. She remembers those game and how nerve wracking it was for her knowing that a win could determine her future – could determine if she were getting into a good school or not.

“I know Coach Beiste is in contact with a few recruiters and college coaches that are more local if that interests you?” Ms. Pillsbury suggests, “Maybe you’ll have some luck there as well? I know she’s quite close to the coaches at Louisville and Ohio State which are both on your list here.”

“That would be so cool, ” Brittany perks up at the prospect.

Now that they’ve moved, she kind of wants to stay close to home if she can. Maybe she’ll be able to get on Ohio State’s radar or maybe Notre Dame? It has been a crazy dream of hers to play college football at one of the top schools in the country, but she doesn’t know if she’s being realistic.

“Very cool,” Ms. Pillsbury smiles, “Well, I don’t want to take up too much of your time during your study hour so if you ever have any questions or just want to come by for a chat, I’m always here.”

“Thanks Ms. Pillsbury,” Brittany grins before heading back to class. It was a random meeting, but Brittany feels surprisingly lighter after speaking with her – like there was this reassurance she didn’t know she needed. It was completely different from the visits that she’s used to.

\\\\\

Although Spirit Week really seems like five days worth of nonsense, there is still the usual schoolwork and practice that Santana needs to focus on too. So after Wednesday’s Cheerios practice, Santana and Quinn head to the Lima Bean to get some homework done before they fall too far behind.

This year, they only have one class together but unfortunately that’s the only class that they’re caught up on. Instead, they grab a circular table by the window and work on their own things in a comfortable silence. Before either of them knows it, they’ve been there for two hours already and have gone through multiple coffees each – Santana’s on her third, Quinn has switched to tea.

Quinn sits back and goes to stretch a moment later, “I think I’m done for the day.”

Santana blinks her weary eyes, “Same. This bookwork on U.S. Government is melting my brain. Let’s pack up and – “

“Wait,” Quinn whispers and holds out her hand to stop Santana, “Look who’s here.”

When Santana follows Quinn’s line of view she instantly looks away at who’s there talking to the barista.

“We never see her here,” Santana comments disbelievingly.

“Right?” Quinn starts to smirk, “This is perfect.”

Since their talk over the weekend, Quinn’s been in Santana’s ear about her progress in becoming friends with Brittany despite Santana telling her to butt out. She’s been trying to explain that she’s not going to all of a sudden ask her over for a sleepover so they can braid each other’s hair and make friendship bracelets. It takes time, especially for Santana considering she’s not exactly the best at making new friends.

And that’s kind of where Quinn comes in.

“I swear to God, Fabray, if you do anything embarrassing I’m gonna – “

“Hey Brittany!” Quinn calls out sweetly, loud enough so that Brittany – and anyone else in earshot – can hear.

Santana goes ten shades redder and sinks low in her chair, “I hate you so much.”

“What?” Quinn questions innocently, “Friends say hi to other friends when they’re out in public so don’t be rude.”

Santana lets out a sarcastic laugh, “Bullshit. You and I both know what you’re up to.”

“I’m not up to anything. Just be normal,” Quinn whispers out quickly, “She’s coming over.”

Be normal, Santana thinks as she stifles another laugh. How can she be normal when Quinn is yelling out this girl’s name from across the café like they’re best friends? They’ve talked maybe twice and it wasn’t much of a conversation but rather just greetings exchanged.

It’s like Quinn’s just trying to embarrass the crap out of her.

Santana tries to keep a straight face in hopes that the blush fades soon. Hopefully her tan complexion is enough to mask her embarrassment.

“Hey guys,” Brittany greets casually, “How’s it going?”

Quinn looks to Santana to see if she’ll answer. She rolls her eyes when she sees that Santana’s just giving her a death glare instead.

“Going well,” Quinn replies first, “Did you just get out of practice?”

Brittany sighs tiredly and goes to brush her hair behind her ear, “Yeah. Very tiring, but that’s why I’m here. I’m so close to a nap but I still have a ton of homework to do by tomorrow. Looks like you guys do too.”

Santana remains weirdly silent so Quinn gives her a subtle kick from under the table, “So much, but we’ve just finished up. Santana and I were actually just talking about tomorrow’s Spirit Day. Right, Santana?”

Santana gives Quinn one last narrow of her eyes before she’s putting on a smile, “Right, Quinn.”

“What is it again?” Brittany asks as she looks to the brunette with her pretty blue eyes.

Santana’s breath catches before she croaks out, “Crazy Hair Day.”

“That’s right,” Brittany chuckles before she teases, “Another super original one. Have you got any ideas for what you’ll do?”

Santana feels a little more at ease, “I’m trying to talk Quinn into dying her hair pink.”

Brittany’s brows shoot up as she looks to Quinn, “Awesome!”

“I’ll probably just wear mine down,” Santana adds which has Quinn rolling her eyes.

“Why do I have to dye my hair when all you’re doing is wearing yours down?” Quinn huffs.

“Because,” Santana retorts, “No way I’m doing anything crazy to all of this. Do you know how much these extensions cost?”

Brittany laughs at their dynamic, “I mean, it totally works! You’d look so different without your usual high pony. I can’t wait to see.”

Quinn sends a stealthy glance over in Santana’s direction. Santana makes a point not to look.

“What about you?” Santana asks Brittany, “What are you going to do differently?”

“I don’t know,” Brittany shrugs, “I probably won’t comb it or something. Although, the hair dye does sound pretty cool.”

Santana laughs at Quinn’s eye-roll just as the barista calls out Brittany’s name.

“Oh! That’s me,” Brittany jumps, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Santana and Quinn say their goodbyes, but once she’s out of hearing range Quinn practically lunges across the table in excitement.

“She was flirting with you,” Quinn points out around a smirk.

Santana looks at her in disbelief, “Where the hell did you see flirting in all of that? Besides, wasn’t the point of all that to make a friend?”

“Come on,” Quinn gives her a look, “It was pretty obvious.”

“You’re delusional,” Santana chuckles.

“And you’re still date-less,” Quinn then sits up straighter, “Wait. I have an idea.”

“I already know what you’re going to say,” Santana shakes her head, “It’s a no. It’s a hell no.”

“You didn’t even give me a chance to state my case.”

“Yeah, because it’s bound to be ridiculous,” Santana replies. She glances over in Brittany’s direction as the blonde goes to sit at a table by herself. Santana pushes away that little feeling of hope before she’s turning back to Quinn, “She and I barely talk outside of class. It would be so weird and awkward, she’d never agree to it. Not to mention that it would be completely predictable.”

“Predictable?”

“Well yeah,” Santana answers like its obvious, “The only two girls nominated that are also – you know – and they just so happen to be going together? No. I’m not going to give this school any more reason to talk shit. I’m not falling for that trap.”

Quinn rolls her eyes, “What are you talking about? What trap?”

“You don’t think this is weird?” Santana questions, “A girl being nominated for King? That’s never happened before. Is it not a red flag for you?”

Quinn sits back again in her chair and sighs, “Honestly Santana, I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if she’s genuinely been nominated or if it’s something else. I don’t think we’re gonna find out until Saturday.”

Santana sighs too, “I just don’t want her to get dragged into all my crap, you know? I don’t want them to mess with her like they’ve messed with me.”

“Yeah,” Quinn nods sadly, “I know but maybe it’s different this time? Brittany’s…she’s a lovely person and really tallented. Who knows, maybe that’s why she’s being nominated? Maybe her being an awesome quarterback and leading the Titans to so many wins has distracted people? Maybe this is real? I don’t know.”

Santana bites her lip. She wishes she could be that optimistic, but she’s been burned too many times. It’s hard for her to see the good anymore. She just hopes for Brittany’s sake that Quinn’s right this time.

“But,” Quinn adds, “What I do know is that Cheerios don’t go to these things by themselves – especially ones that are nominated.”

Santana tenses her jaw. She hates all the social rules she has to follow just because of her status. She hates how popularity is everything in place like Lima. For once, she just wants to be herself but everyone makes it so damn difficult.

Still, she has her obligations.

“If you can’t go with Brittany,” Quinn starts, “Who will you go with?”

She glances one last time at Brittany sitting alone studying before she finally answers, “I’ll find someone.”

\\

And Santana tries valiantly to do so.

Once she gets home from the Lima Bean, Santana lies on her bed and scrolls through her contacts but nothing jumps out at her. Actually, it’s not the fact that no one jumps out – it’s the fact that she can’t bring herself to stoop down to that level again and go with a guy.

She can’t pretend anymore, no matter how bad she wants to avoid it all and go back to how things were a couple years ago where all she had to do was hide behind some guy in order to avoid how she truly felt. No one questioned her, no one doubted if any of it was genuine.

If she were to go with one of the many guys listed in her contacts, she would be doing just that – reverting. She feels guilty just thinking about it, but she knows it would be easier going back on what was said about her rather than actually living up to it.

Honestly, she doesn’t know which is scarier: pretending to be someone she isn’t again or finally owning up to who she really is. She just hates hearing the I knew it or I told you; it makes her feel so see-through, vulnerable. She can’t have that, she can’t have people at this school thinking they know her when they really don’t, but what is she supposed to do?

Continue to hide from the truth? Hope that everyone forgets?

Santana continues to scroll through her phone hoping that maybe she’ll find the answer to all her troubles amongst the boys’ names.

She doubts she will and that’s the biggest problem of all.

\\\\\

The next day, Brittany gets home a little earlier from football practice to find her mom helping Pete with his homework in the dining room. He instantly lights up when she enters the room and rushes over to hug her hips.

“Hey Petey,” Brittany chuckles, “You doing homework?”

“He just finished up,” Whitney smiles lovingly at the pair, “Got every question right.”

“No way!” Brittany gasp and goes for a low-five, “Mr. Smarty Pants in the building!”

Pete gives her an enthusiastic slap to her palm, “Should be rewarded with ice cream, right?”

Brittany’s brows rise and they both look over to their mom as she mimics him, “Right?”

Whitney just laughs, “Don’t you need to shower or something, Britt?”

“Showered at school,” She grins triumphantly.

“You can do that?” Pete looks up at her in awe.

“Totally.”

“Well,” Whitney sighs, “Let’s go then! Tonight’s the Bonfire, isn’t it?”

Brittany nodded as she put down her bag in its usual place by the front door, “Yeah, but it’s not until later. I’ve got time for an ice cream run.”

“Can I go to the bonfire too?” Pete asks as they all make their way outside to the car.

“Mom said no, remember?” Brittany tells him gently as he climbs into his seat, “It’ll be too late for you.”

“Bummer,” He frowns. Brittany gets in the passenger side and Whitney goes to start the car when he asks, “Will Santana be there?”

Brittany’s a little surprised that he remembered her name but answers anyway, “Yeah, probably. Why?”

Pete doesn’t answer for awhile, “Just wondering. She’s nice.”

Brittany nods, “Yeah. I think so too.”

She goes to flip though the radio stations, but Santana’s mention reminds her of how she felt seeing the Co-Captain for the first time that morning.

Like they discussed at the Lima Bean, Santana had worn her hair down. Brittany almost didn’t recognize her, she looked that different. More relaxed maybe? Who knows, but Brittany caught herself staring several times which would’ve been embarrassing if Santana noticed. Her hair was a lot longer than Brittany thought and any time Santana would brush it behind her ear or twirl the tips of it with her fingers, Brittany could smell the scent of her shampoo wafting off of her.

It was super distracting.

That scent was committed to Britany’s memory, because that scent was now Santana. Whenever she caught a whiff of it, Santana’s smiling face popped up in her head. As much as she thought that was really cool, it kind of worried her because she knew what was starting to develop and she couldn’t have that.

Crushes are meant to be on people she might actually have a chance with. Not pretty, straight Cheerleaders who could probably get anyone they wanted in the entire school.

“So are you two going together?” Whitney wonders and Brittany’s eyes nearly bug out at the question, more importantly how casual it sounded.

Is she reading my thoughts? Brittany wonders.

Pete pipes in next, “Yeah, are you?”

Honestly, Brittany never really considered Santana as an option. The girl is probably the hardest person to read and that’s coming from Brittany who is excellent at reading people…on the football field.

If Santana’s somewhere on the spectrum, it would be news to Brittany.

“Uh…no,” Brittany finally answers, “I doubt she’d want to go with me. I bet she has so many guys lining up to be her date though, she’s very popular.”

“How do you know she won’t want to go with you instead then?” Pete wonders innocently, “Maybe she’s tired of going with boys?”

That has Brittany chuckling, “Maybe but I’ll probably just go by myself and meet up with my friends. I don’t mind not having a date, just means I can dance with everyone else’s.”

They seem happy with that answer so the rest of the car ride is quiet aside from Pete singing along with the radio. Brittany just stares out the window wondering if her brother might be on to something about Santana though.

It’s probably a shot in the dark, but the longer she stews on it the more curious she becomes.

\\

Brittany’s always loved Bonfires; she likes the way the smoke lingers on her, the feel of the heat of the flames on her cheeks, how the glow of the fire has this sort of hypnotic effect. She really gets the expression a moth to a flame because she can so relate to the way it pulls you in.

She has seen Mike and Sam around, along with the other guys from the team but she makes a point to stay near the fire instead. It’s a lot colder than it was when she went out for ice cream earlier and she kind of regrets not wearing something thicker underneath her letterman jacket.

It’s not until after Principal Figgins makes a few announcements that she has to gather with the team for their grand entrance. It all seems a bit backwards since they’ve already been mingling for the past thirty minutes, but she just goes with the flow and follows after Kurt until they’re dismissed to join everyone else again. It’s then, that Brittany spots Santana hanging around the chairs she was sitting in before the Titans were called over.

To Brittany’s surprise, Santana sits alone. And like a moth to a flame, Brittany finds herself wandering over without a second thought.

“Hey,” Brittany greets with her hands tucked in her jacket pockets, “Where’s your other half?”

Santana looks away from the dancing flames and blinks like Brittany had just interrupted some deep thought, “Who? Quinn?”

“Yeah,” Brittany smiles as she sits next to Santana, “You two are always together.”

Santana chuckles, “She’s chatting up Mike I think. She’s on the hunt for an escort to Homecoming.”

“I’m sure Mike’s loving that,” Brittany laughs.

“Oh yeah?”

“Totally,” Brittany nods, “He has the biggest crush on Quinn. Don’t tell her I said that.”

“Oh, she knows,” Santana replies, “I don’t know why they won’t make it official already. They’re fooling no one.”

Brittany laughs again and thinks back to all the times she’s overheard Mike talk about Quinn like she put every star in the sky. It’s cute, she thinks, they’re cute. It makes her wonders why they’re dragging their feet if the feelings are mutual.

Her thoughts are interrupted though when she sees Santana shiver.

She’s still wearing her uniform so it’s no wonder why she’s cold but at least she has her Cheerios jacket on too.

“You guys not allowed to wear pants or something?” Brittany asks jokingly.

Santana shoots her a playful glare, “I would’ve worn my warm-ups if I knew it was going to drop 40 degrees. It wasn’t this cold when I got here earlier.”

“I know right?” Brittany agrees as she tries to use the collar of her jacket to cover her ears, “I don’t like it.”

Santana chuckles as she sees Brittany trying to hide further into her jacket, “Okay it’s not that cold. We’re literally sitting by a fire.”

Brittany just shrugs and looks back at Santana. Again, she’s kind of captivated by her. With her hair still down, falling in gentle waves over her shoulder, and the glow of the fire casting shades of burnt orange…Santana’s kind of beautiful.

Crap, Brittany thinks and goes to shake away the thought.

Instead, she goes to ask a question that’s been eating her up since her chat with Pete. Really, she just wants to shut down that nagging feeling of hope in the pit of her stomach and confirm that Santana’s already been easily swept up by some other eligible, more realistic option for a date.

“So what about your date hunt?” Brittany prompts timidly, “You have an escort already too?”

“No,” Santana’s smile falters and there’s just the barest of a crinkle between her brows as she looks back at the flames.

Brittany’s shocked by the news.

“I wouldn’t go with anyone if I could,” Santana mentions quietly, “But it’s kind of tradition that a Cheerio doesn’t go unattended.”

“This school and its traditions…” Brittany sighs with the shake of her head.

Santana frowns, still looking away from Brittany, “Yeah. It’s so stupid.”

Brittany watches Santana, trying to read what’s hidden beneath the surface but she’s at a loss. Santana can be so cryptic sometimes, her walls so impossibly high. It’s hard for Brittany to get a read on her so she just has to ask instead and hope Santana graces her with an answer.

“I take it the hunt isn’t going very well?” Brittany wonders.

“Not at all,” Santana answers with a deep sigh.

Brittany wonders what that is. The way Santana looks is similar to the first time Brittany ever saw her back at Puck’s End of Summer party. She remembers seeing Santana and Quinn sitting by the pool – she’s never seen a girl looking so sad at a party. Back then, she wanted to go over and ask her why she was so sad but that was probably the alcohol giving her a false sense of confidence.

But knowing more of Santana now and seeing her look that way makes Brittany feel kind of sad too. She’s not sure how to console Santana, if that’s even what she wants from someone, so instead Brittany tries to make her laugh.  

“Wow, you struggling to find a date?” Brittany teases gently, “There definitely isn’t any hope for the rest of us.”

“Why’s that?” Santana asks with her expression even.

Brittany gulps; maybe she’s making it worse?

“You’re just…” Brittany fumbles for the right words but all she can think of is how Pete described Santana earlier, “You’re nice. It’s kind of hard to believe that someone like you is still dateless.”

Santana looks like she’s about to laugh, “Nice? I don’t think anyone’s ever said that about me unless they’re referring to my ass.”

Brittany begins to feel flushed because well, yeah that too but that wasn’t what she was referring to.

“You are though,” Brittany assures her, “You brought me the work I missed that one time. You assigned a locker to me when Coach Sylvester wouldn’t. You brought me that awesome – but weird colored – juice when I wasn’t feeling well. Not to mention how you handled JBI before I knew who he was…”

Santana just shakes her head though the smile begs to form.

“You’re nice Santana,” Brittany tells her this time.

Santana bobs her head from side to side like she can’t decide if she agrees with Brittany.

“Well, a lot of other people would disagree,” Santana says finally, “I’ve…burned a lot of bridges in the past so nice isn’t going to cut it unfortunately. Pretty sure Quinn nabbed the last available Titan and I sure as hell won’t go with one of the Hockey players. If there are any Titans left they’re either pigs or too gross for me to even consider so that’s that.”

Suddenly Brittany feels her senses heighten and her heart rate spikes, because a thought just crossed her mind and although her head is telling her to keep quiet about it, her heart tells her to go for it. She’s caught in the middle, but then she hears her dad’s voice in her head saying, “You won’t know unless you try.”

So she decides to shoot that shot in the dark and hope for the best.

“What about me?” Brittany offers hesitantly. She feels her heart jump to her throat and it’s taking everything in her to come off cool and casual.

Santana looks at her curiously, “What about you?”

Of course she’d want me to spell it out for her, Brittany thinks with a chuckle.

“Well, I’m not on the Hockey team.”

She can see the moment Santana catches on.

“Last time I checked I was a Titan too,” Brittany continues, “And I don’t have a date.”

Santana blinks at Brittany like she can’t believe her ears, “But…you’re a g – “

“I swear, if you say girl…” Brittany laughs.

“What?” Santana stammers out a laugh too, “You are!”

“Okay, and?” Brittany asks, “What’s that have to do with anything?”

Santana shakes her head and lets out a wry laugh, “Two girls can’t go to a dance together.”

Brittany rolls her eyes at that reasoning, “Who said?”

Santana’s lips part but nothing comes out. Brittany smirks.

“You don’t have an escort and I don’t either,” Brittany explains, “From what I hear, Cheerios tend to go with Football players and since I’m apparently the only Titan without a date still it would make sense for us to go together. Unless you’re considering me one of the gross ones you wouldn’t dream of going with?”

Santana averts her gaze, “You’re not.”

Hope starts to swell within Brittany, “Well then…we’re not really breaking tradition, are we? It’s like finding a loophole. You’re still a Cheerio going with a Titan, it just so happens that we’re both girls.”

Santana takes a moment to reply but when she does, she sounds a lot more nervous than before and Brittany worries that she’s made her uncomfortable by asking.

“I – I’m just…” Santana stutters, “I’m not…”

Brittany waits for Santana to finish but she’s so tripped up on her words that she can’t get anything out. The blonde kind of gets what Santana’s trying to say judging by the look of discomfort and takes the awkward rambling as all the assurance she needs.

“Santana, you don’t have to be gay to go to a dance with another girl,” Brittany jokes trying to lighten the mood.

Santana just stiffens, “Uhm.”

“I wasn’t going to go with anyone either,” Brittany continues to ramble, “Seems like you and I are the only ones that have that in common.”  

“Right,” Santana mumbles.

“Yeah so,” Brittany chuckles, suddenly feeling way more nervous than before, “Maybe we can just go together as friends?”

“Friends?” Santana repeats. It seems like she only knows how to say one word at a time now.

“Yeah, friends,” Brittany chuckles, “You’ve heard of them, right?”

“Y-yeah,” Santana stutters.

“Okay, well all of mine already have dates and since everyone wants to put such a big emphasis on having an escort, you’re the only one left that I’d feel comfortable going with. Not that I consider you a last resort,” Brittany quickly amends, “I just thought we could help each other out, you know?”

Santana looks shocked, “Really?”

“Well yeah,” Brittany shrugs. She pushes away the doubt trying to worm its way in. She can’t remember the last time she felt this nervous to go out on whim, “So what do you say? Do you want to go together?”

“As friends?”

“Yes Santana,” Brittany chuckles, “As friends.”

“Okay,” Santana smiles and for a second she starts to act normal again, “Yeah. That’s cool.”

“Awesome!” Brittany beams.

She feels so relieved now and thinks that went a lot better than she thought but she can still sense a little hesitance on Santana’s end which makes her a little nervous. She goes to tuck her hair behind her air just to give her hands something to do.

“So…” Brittany drawls out, “I should probably get your number then? For outfit coordination purposes, you know just so we don’t accidentally match or something.”

When she sees that faint smirk on Santana’s lips, Brittany feels a little better about asking.

“Wow, you always this smooth when getting a girl’s number?” Santana teases.

Brittany instantly rolls her eyes at the sarcasm.

She’s been told that she’s charismatic and maybe a little accidentally flirty, but she honestly isn’t trying anything with Santana. She wouldn’t do anything to make her uncomfortable – she knows what straight girls are like around the not-so-straight ones so Brittany’s always cautious with how she comes off.  

Even if her cheeks burn a little, she’s glad Santana still has jokes and decides to make one of her own too.

“Don’t worry, Santana,” Brittany smirks as she hands over her phone, “If I was going to hit on you, you’d know it.”

Santana blushes hard but Brittany just misses it as Santana fishes out her phone from her bra, “Here. Let me get your number too.”

\\\\\

By Friday, word surprisingly hasn’t gotten around that Santana is going with Brittany. She knows she hasn’t told anyone – not even Quinn yet – so Brittany must’ve been staying quiet too. She’s kind of thankful for that, even if she didn’t explicitly tell Brittany not to.

But that isn’t the only thing she hasn’t explicitly told Brittany.

“Santana, you don’t have to be gay to go to a dance with another girl.”

Brittany’s words flash in Santana’s head like warning lights. She doesn’t know why she’s surprised by the statement; they’ve never talked about her sexuality before. Then again, it’s not something she loves to bring up in casual conversation nor is it something she flaunts.

She’s just shocked more than anything that Brittany doesn’t know yet considering how invasive everyone is at school.

\\

Santana’s in the locker room with Quinn getting ready for the Pep Rally when she finally tells her best friend the news.

“So I found a date,” Santana mentions before the rest of the squad joins them, “Well technically, the date found me.”

Quinn perks up, “Who?”

She can barely contain the smirk when she looks over at Quinn, “McKinley’s star QB.”

“No way!” Quinn gasps. A wide smile fills her face and makes her cheeks bunch, “That is so great, Santana. This is happening so much faster than I thought! God, I’m so surprised. Mike told me that she wasn’t going to go with anyone. I wonder what made her change her mind? Wait, what changed your mind?”

Santana wonders that too and a little part of her holds out hope that it was because she told Brittany she was having trouble finding a date. That gets Santana thinking; she couldn’t find a date because she didn’t want to go with a boy – and now the only girl at school that’s an option for her thinks she’s straight.

The fucking irony.

“So there’s just one small problem,” Santana notes without answering Quinn’s questions.

“What?”

“She…doesn’t know,” Santana says cryptically.

Quinn’s confused, “Doesn’t know what?”

“You know,” Santana prompts then goes to whisper, “She thinks I’m straight.”

Quinn’s jaw drops, “Wait. What?”

Santana just nods.

Quinn shakes her head, “No seriously, what?”

“I don’t know,” Santana says as she slumps down on the bench next to Quinn, “Is it weird that I’m disappointed? I mean, I know I don’t smell like a golf course or wear flannel 24/7 but like…really? I thought everyone knew by now?”

Quinn’s at a loss too, “The one time your reputation doesn’t come through for you.”

Santana let’s out a bitter laugh at that and looks to the floor, “What’s the point of being outed to literally everyone in this whole fucking town if I still have to come out to people myself?” Santana feels a lump instantly lodge itself in her throat and it becomes impossibly hard to swallow back. Her eyes feel hot and stingy, “They did it for me once and now that it would actually benefit me, no one wants to say anything? I thought people here loved talking shit about me behind my back? Where are they all now?”

She doesn’t notice that streams of tears have begun to run down her cheeks until Quinn’s wrapping an arm around her. Santana’s vision blurs as the sobs hit her hard. She hasn’t let herself cry about what happened in so long, maybe that’s why she broke so quickly at its very mention? She’s glad they’re still alone though, she’d hate for the rest of the squad to see her like this.

“Santana,” Quinn tries but it’s the only thing she can get out right now. She doesn’t know what to say that’ll make this go away so she just holds Santana upright and keeps her steady.  

“I’m fine. It’s fine,” Santana stammers as she takes a deep, shaky breath. When she finally believes her own words, she pushes to straighten up so she can wipe her face.

Quinn looks at her worriedly before she turning away so that Santana can continue to calm herself down. She knows how Santana gets when she fusses over her, so she tries to give her some space.

“I thought I could make jokes about it,” Santana mentions awhile later, “I guess I’m not ready yet.”

“It’s okay,” Quinn smiles apologetically. She waits a moment before suggesting, “Maybe look at it as a positive? Brittany’s one person you get to come out to on your own. You can do it however you want and I’m sure she’d be very understanding.”

That actually calms Santana a little. She thinks about her abuela and how she was the only person she came out to on her own terms and it completely blew up in her face. But with Brittany, she knows it would be different. She knows Brittany wouldn’t shut her out.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Santana nods, “I can control it this time.”

“Exactly,” Quinn gives her a pat on the knee, “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up. The girls will be here any minute.”

\\

When the Cheerios take to the gym, they do their usual routine of getting the crowd hyped up for Principal Figgins as he goes through with the usual announcements and Fall teams introductions. It’s all business for Santana as she works the crowd – that is until the Titans are called out and she feels something shift.

Brittany leads the team while wearing that award winning smile of hers. The rest of the guys pump their fists and cheer, motioning for the crowd of students to get louder as they spread out and get people amped up for their performance with the Cheerios.

It’s nothing special; the Cheerios and the Titans do something together every year for the Homecoming Pep Rally. It’s usually the same routine since it’s easier for the Titans to follow along when all they have to do is pair off with a Cheerio and groove to the music.

Santana sees the Hockey guys sulking off to the side – no one ever gets that loud when they are announced – and she finds herself smirking at how pissed they look. For a team that sucks so bad and swears that Hockey rules the school, they rarely get any applause that isn’t forced.

Brittany then surprises everyone by doing a no-handed cartwheel and it has the crowd in awe. Even Santana’s jaw drops a little as she watches Brittany stick the landing in one smooth motion before skipping over to stand next to her.

“Impressive, Pierce,” Santana comments as she shakes her pompoms.

Brittany lifts her shoulder as she moves easily to the rhythm of the song, “I use to do gymnastics.”

“Of course you did,” Santana chuckles as she keeps up with the choreography, “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Recite the alphabet backwards, parallel park, color in the lines…” Brittany lists playfully.

“Very funny,” Santana rolls her eyes. She goes to do a high kick before she’s dancing again next to Brittany, “You ready for the game tonight?”

“Totally,” Brittany nodded resolutely, “Should be fun. Are you?”

Santana lifted her shoulder similarly to what Brittany did before, “I’m interested to see how you do. We haven’t won a Homecoming game in years, so...”

Brittany giggled, “Well, I work pretty well under pressure so...”

Santana smirked as the routine ended, “We’ll see.”

\\\\\

To say that there’s a lot of pressure on Brittany to bring in a win is an understatement. After everything that happened with her stance on slushie facials and the way she spoke so highly of herself when it came to winning, Brittany kind of dug herself a hole. Not that she would take back anything she said – she was very serious when she vowed she could take the Titans to the Championships.

She knows she can, that’s why she’s so confident about it.

It’s just whether or not a select few members of the team are going to get with the program so that they can really start to thrive, because no matter how good she is – one person doesn’t win games.

There’s still Karofsky and Azimio being absolute pains in her ass then there’s Finn with his need to remind Brittany of every little thing that’s never been done purely because no one’s ever tried making any changes.

People here are just so set in their ways – happy to carry on with their so-called traditions although they suck. She can see the subtle changes in others on the team though – like very, very subtle changes – so she’ll take that as progress for now.

\\

The game against the Westvale Wizards ends up being a complete blow out. The Titans crush the Wizards in every aspect; so much so that Brittany started to feel a little bad about the score differentiation.

Home: 28 Away: 3

She doesn’t feel that bad though because she broke many personal records tonight and that’s bound to get some media attention. Not that it’s what she plays for, but her meeting with Ms. Pillsbury has her thinking about scouts and her future. She hopes she’s enough to grab their attention.

Westvale didn’t offer too much competition compared to going up against Carmel High, but a win is a win. It’s just what the team needs for morale and it’s a great way to end Spirit Week and put everyone in a good mood for the Homecoming Dance. Apparently, the last time the Titans won a Homecoming game was nearly six years ago so it’s yet another record Brittany gets to claim as they move on to being 6-1.

\\

After giving out handshakes to the other team, Brittany makes her way off the field for some water and finds Santana lingering by the sidelines along with the other Cheerios. The rest of them are getting packed up but Santana’s just watching Brittany as she draws near.

Brittany sees her holding a green Gatorade cup in her hand and it puts a smile on Brittany’s face.

“Well, you didn’t disappoint,” Santana says once Brittany’s close enough. She hands the cup over to the blonde, “Great game, Pierce.”

Brittany’s smile grows as she sets her helmet down on the bench so she can take the drink, “Thanks. It was a team effort.”

“And always so humble too,” Santana notes with a chuckle.

“Really couldn’t have done it without your amazing cheers though,” Brittany winks just before she nods over at the squad, “Great stuff.”

Santana looks behind her and shrugs, “It was a team effort.”

Brittany can’t help but laugh at that, “Of course.”

Santana can be so damn cute sometimes without even trying – at least, Brittany doesn’t think she is. Really, Brittany can’t understand how she got so lucky with getting to be Santana’s date. Well, not her date date.

Brittany’s pretty sure that’s off the table.

She’s just honored that she gets to go with someone she genuinely likes to be around. It’ll be cool to hang out with Santana in a different setting other than Miss Holliday’s classroom or practice or in passing in the hallways.

Which reminds her…

“So about tomorrow,” Brittany mentions a little timidly. She plays with the paper cup in her hand, “Did you want to meet there? Or I can pick you up if you want? You’ll have to text me your address. Although, fair warning: I’m not very good at directions. The whole in 300 feet turn left thing always confuses me like how am I suppose to know how much that is…” Brittany pauses when she sees Santana start to raise her brow, “I’m rambling, sorry.”

Santana chuckles, “How about I pick you up at yours? I already know where you live anyway.”

Brittany nods, “Okay, yeah.”

“Doors open at 7:30,” Santana mentions, “I can come by around 7?”

“Yeah,” Brittany grins, “That sounds good to me.”

“Cool.”

“Yup.”

“Yo Pierce!” Mike calls out to her from where the team has started to gather for a post-game huddle, “Get over here!”

Brittany tosses up her hand in a wave before turning back to Santana, “Sorry, I better get over there. Thanks again for the drink.”

Santana just nods, the same small smile playing at her lips.

It makes Brittany smile too and for a second it makes her trip up on her words, “Uh…so I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

Santana nods again, “Yeah, text me. Congrats on the win again.”

Brittany’s smile widens before she’s jogging over to the huddle. She wasn’t all that jazzed for the dance at first, but now that she’s going with Santana she starts to feel the excitement build.

Now, she can’t wait for tomorrow night.

[epic-potato-crisp]

Courtship [1/2] (AjinWeek2020/3)

Day 3: Favourite Ship/Romance/Lover

By: @ryokasmagic

Note: I have two OTPs in Ajin (Tosaki/Izumi and Kou/Kei) and I honestly can’t pick between them. Decided to go with KouKei for this one though. This has two parts, so far part 2 is supposed to be posted for Day 7. I hope you enjoy!

…..

“You’re amazing.”

And ever since that fateful day, the words haven’t left Kei’s mind.

At first, he thinks there is nothing redeemable about Nakano.

He is too loud and gets overly excited about everything, always barging into Kei’s private space. He seems earth shatteringly optimistic and ready to take on whatever obstacle the world is ready to present him with an energy that Kei can barely begin to comprehend.

In hindsight, this might have been what has fascinated him about Nakano so much to begin with.

They gradually begin spending more time together, but then, this is bound to happen, Kei thinks, when you’re stuck in one hideout with eight other people with little choice in the matter.

It has nothing to do with the fact that he actually enjoys Nakano’s company.

No, he certainly hasn’t stooped down to that level.

Of that he is certain.

…….

It starts innocently enough.

They’re sitting outside the hideout, taking a break after hours of training.

“What if we weren’t Ajin?” Nakano Kou asks.

“What?” Kei frowned, “That is the most stupid question I’ve heard in weeks.”

“No, think about it.” Kou gestures with his orange popsicle. “What if we were…you know, normal high schoolers.”

“We are normal.” Kei frowns. He is a perfectly respectable member of society, thank you very much. He may have an above average regenerational ability that might classify him as “immortal” in some instances, but he has no duty to disclose that to anyone.

He isn’t a dropout runaway that can barely memorize the kanji required to graduate.

“You know what I mean.” the other boy says, “Like…what if we weren’t on the run from the government?” His gestures got broader.

“That’s a rather pointless scenario. You might as well ask me what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten hit by that truck.” Kei rolls his eyes and moves his hazelnut-chocolate cone out of reach, away from potential Kou-induced hazards.

He catches Kou eyeing him from the side.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously.” the redhead replies indignantly, giving him a light nudge that has Kei scowling, “Isn’t it fun to think of what-ifs?”

“No, it isn’t.” Kei replies, and then relents under the expectant stare. He takes a bite of his ice.

“Well, fine. Let’s say I wouldn’t have gotten hit by the truck.” He pauses, considering the possibility and comparing it with his schedule at the time. “I would have had to turn in a physics project that week. Write a biology exam the week after. Not to mention our assignment in history about the reformation of- “

“Dude, I mean like, fun things.” Kou says, exasperatedly, “Like, you know. The next party you got invited to- “

Kei is excellent at politely turning these invitations down-

“Or like, an outing to a karaoke place or an arcade after school?”

After-school is reserved for math-club-meetings and further study-

“Or like, you know, getting a girlfriend!”

“I never had one.” Kei replied bluntly.

“What?!”

Kou’s shocked enough that he drops his popsicle. It rolls a few feet away from them, out of the shade and into the scorching afternoon sun. He stares wistfully at its departure.

“Oh man, I was going to finish that.”

“Get a new one.”

“Noo, they’re rationed. In any way I don’t feel like walking anymore than I need to today.” He pouts, slumping against the cooling wall.

Kei sighs, before wordlessly offering him his chocolate cone.

“Really, dude?”

“Call me dude ever again and you’ll have bigger problems than this.”

“Thanks, man.” Kou says, which isn’t much better and gives him a genuine smile that Kei wishes wouldn’t make him so happy on the inside.

“Yeah, whatever.”

“So, coming back to the topic at hand- “

Kei suppresses a groan. He has been relying on the convenience of Kou’s short-term memory to prevent them from ever continuing the previous conversation.

“What about it?” he asks instead, reaching for the water bottle and taking a large sip.

“Like, really? Never?”

Kou looks a bit like a Golden Retriever whose owner has forgotten to take him on a walk.

“No.” Kei shrugs, “Is that so weird?” It’s a serious question.

He’s never considered that his social life could be boring, by others’ standards, being far too focused on becoming a diligent student that represented his family well.

“Ah, no, no, it’s cool.” Kou waves him off, words encouraging, “Not everyone has to have a girlfriend in High School.”

Kei doesn’t let him notice any of the relief he feels at those words.

“Some of us just aren’t dating our homework, ya know?” He breaks out into laughter.

“Die.”

“I can’t. I swear man, I’ve tried!” Kou throws up his hands in desperation, shaking his head and Kei turns away so that he can’t see the traitorous hint at a smile on his face.

“Would you ever want one, though?”

“What?” Kei arches an eyebrow.

“What do you think? “

A day full of peace and quiet, with no training or social interactions, preferably locked away in my room, Kei thinks, but he’s certain that’s not what Kou’s referring to.

“A girlfriend. Or, you know, a boyfriend.” Kou shrugs, and Kei feels the blood freeze in his veins.

His friend-by-default notices his incredulous expression.

“We’re in the 21st century, right? It’s not that weird.”

Kei doesn’t dignify that with an answer.

“You’re expected to marry someone of the opposite gender.” he says, remotely, “Unless you can avoid it.”

“In theory!” Kou has finished his ice cream and wipes his hands on the grass, “Like, maybe it’s not that you just haven’t found the right girl? Maybe you’re just- “

“Okay, enough.” Kei cuts across him. His heart thunders in his chest and thoughts of Kaito resurface in his mind, which is more than he can bear after hours of training exhausting him to the bone.

“Are you too much of a chicken to find out?” Kou’s grin is teasing, and competitive.

“Find out what?”

“If it’s perhaps not just girls you’re interested in?”

“When would I find that out?” Kei answers, ignoring the inexplicable jump his heart takes all of a sudden, “We’re fugitives in a battle. We barely have time for this.” He gestures vaguely and checks his watch, “Speaking of, we should get back to training.”

“Come on, ten more minutes.”

“You said that half an hour ago.” Kei deadpans, “No ten more minutes. This second.”

“Is that what you want me to say when you refuse to get up in the morning and want me to cover for you?” Kou teases.

Unfairly, he has a point.

“Whatever.” Kei sighs, chalking it up to the heat that he doesn’t feel like debating Kou on this particular topic.

“I propose a challenge. No, a bet. If you chicken out, I’ll assume you’re too much of a coward after all. Ready?” Kou asks, pointing at him, brimming with self-confidence.

“And what makes you assume I care?”

There’s the Golden Retriever look again. “Oh, come on, Kei.”

Kei sighs. He’s a good person, he tells himself, a respectable member of society. He’s doing Nakano a favor by not subjecting him to alienation from the only one in his peer group and the devastating consequences that might have for his social development.

“Okay, tell me what it is.”

“We pretend to be boyfriends for a week!”

Kei stares at him, dumbstruck, but before he can get a word in edgewise, Nakano cuts him to the chase: “No, wait. I’m serious. Nothing, strange, like, ya know.” He blushes scarlet, clearing his throat and Kei thanks the Gods above that he doesn’t elaborate on the subject.

“Like hand-holding and that stuff. Maybe a date night where we watch movies.”

“That sounds dumb.” Kei replies before he can stop himself.

“Dumb, but not impossible?”

“We don’t even have time for a…” Kei pauses, wrestling with the unfamiliar word and its embarrassing implications, “date night where we watch movies. We have to train. Fight Sato, in case you forgot?”

“Consider it a team-building exercise!” Kou grins widely.

“I could think of a way more interesting exercise where my IBM gets to practice attacks on you.”

Kou laughs.

“Yeah, we have to train.” he admits, “You’re right. But seriously. Do you really…not want to try it out? Or does it just sound unusual to you?”

Kei bites his lip. He can’t believe that Kou goaded him into this conversation.

“If we were, theoretically- “he cuts in sharply, as Kou’s eyes widen in excitement, “To try that out. We would need to have some rules.”

“Sure, definitely.” Kou nods along.

“And it would not cross a week.”

“Nope, that’s the idea.”

“And if I didn’t like it, we could end it at any time.”

“Yeah.” Kou replies without skipping a beat, “Consider it, like…a social project.” He stretches out his hand. “You’re on board?”

Kei has to admit he’s not completely adverse to the idea. He’d pay money to see the expressions on the others’ faces when he told them about their plan.

And also, for some strange, unspeakable reason, having a movie night with Kou doesn’t seem like the worst of ideas.

Kei clears his throat.

“It’s a deal.” he says.

[lanaisnotwool]

421 - 401K Rip-Off

https://moneyripples.com/2020/09/11/421-401k-rip-off/

Are 401K’s a good idea?

Is it possible that you are worse off with a 401K?

Where can you invest instead?

Chris runs the numbers to see what happens if you invest with a 401K. It is catered for you and is filled with the information you need to make the right decisions and making a ripple effect to the lives of others.

Listen to our Podcast here:

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/07/30/421--the-401k-ripoff

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, my fellow Ripplers! This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. Welcome you out for a wonderful show. A show that is for you, and it’s about all of you. Those of you that work so hard for your money. And you’re ready for your money to start working harder for you. Now! You want to work because you want to not because you have to. You want to have that cash flow. That freedom. That prosperity. Today! Not 30 or 40 years from now, but right now, to be able to have that life that you love. To do what you love while you can still live. While you still have life in you. And it’s not just about having your own life of comfort and ease and freedom, which is amazing, but it’s about so much more. It’s about be able to create a ripple effect to the lives of others. Because as you prosper, you can use your blessings to bless the lives of others too. And that is a ripple effect. I’m here to create guys. Thank you for allowing me to create that ripple effect through you. And thank you again for bingeing, for sharing with others, for creating conversations, right? Because the only way to elevate your success is to elevate your conversations of success as well. And guys, you guys are doing an amazing job. Thank you so much for being a part of this and allowing me to create a ripple effect through you.

As a reminder check out our website, MoneyRipples.com Well, not only do we have the great e-book, Beyond Rice and Beans, that you can download for free, which will help you find money. Especially if you’re looking for a cash and be able to use and be able to create more freedom. There’s also great blogs. There’s even videos of this very episode being posted as well. So check that out. As well as our YouTube page. So check those out!

Today, guys. So again, I get this all the time because I get it. When the rest of the world is telling you to believe one thing, and you’re trying to do something different. It’s hard to break that pattern, right? Hey, we’re witnessing this in the world right now. There’s debates going on and between majorities and minorities and everything else, and it is creating a lot of debate, but the one thing you don’t see, many people debate is actually in the realm of money, right? When it comes to money, most people would agree going with the mainstream advice. It’s spend little, save a lot, save it in your mutual funds like your 401k is and get that employer match because it’s “Free Money”

Stay out of debt! You know, do all these things that you’re supposed to be doing that should somehow create freedom. Like guys, it has not worked! Period. Now you might think that somehow it has worked. Now, we might look back to grandparents generations, but understand is that there’s a ton of workers, funding, their social security and other things. They had pensions. We don’t! They have their pensions right now. There’s school teachers right now out of pensions, like running out of money. There’s States that are bankrupt right now. Government workers that aren’t getting the things that were given to us even few decades ago. And right now it’s relying upon you to create your own freedom. You cannot rely on anyone else. You cannot trust the government will have a decent amount of cash for you to use. It’s really up to you. So what’s been the answer of course, over the last several decades? It’s been the 401k, right?

I’m here to tell you the 401k is a Big Fat Lie! Now, granted. Does it do what people think it does in the sense that you defer taxes? Yes. You can have employer matches, which is like having free money. Yes. By the way, that’s just means that they’re just not paying you as much, just so you know. You know, it’s just a benefit, the company benefit of the add on, they just take it away from your salary anyways. All of these things, you know, is it essentially a real tool or a vehicle? Yes, it is. It’s a tax code that started back in, you know, back in the Carter era, right in the late seventies and by about 1980 and so on. Even though most employers didn’t really implement it, at least for the average worker, usually by the mid eighties, you start to see the average workers getting offered 401ks.

It became more mainstream. Now you have to ask yourself first and foremost, why does this thing becomes so big? Right? Why did people just keep using IRAs? Or why don’t we keep, you know, why don’t we start making roth IRAs more popular? Since that’s been around now for 20 years. More than 20 years. You know, we’ve had that for a while, but why aren’t people going crazy about the Roth? Now there’s some people that say it’s great, but the truth is you can’t save enough into a Roth. Can you? $6,000 or $7,000 a year is not enough to retire on. It’s nothing. It’s a ridiculous rule that you have the Roth IRA that kind of loses it. You’ve got things like life insurance out there that we talked about before. That is tax free, much like a Roth. It’s the same kind of taxation, but you can dump it a lot more.

But even then guys, if you’re trying to rely on a product to get you there, it won’t do it! There is no one single financial product that any financial advisor will offer you or your employer wall for you that will get you to financial freedom. And that’s what we are talking about today. Specifically, I’m going to focus on the 401k and why it’s a lie. Now understand that when it came out into the Carter era, taxes were much worse. Now there’s an article that one of my good friends sent and he sent it to me. He said, Chris, you should check this out. Very interesting. It’s actually an article in Bloomberg about 401k dated back on July 21st. Now this article, I’m not going to quote from it completely because even as I was reading it, I started to see some inaccuracies. The basic premise is pretty interesting.

Some of his solutions were different. He was talking about changing the 401k to be more flexible. More rules. I’m not opposed to that, but it doesn’t really answer the basic question. But he did bring up some good points about what happened when it started. So for example, the points that were good, right? And by the way, I know these are bad points and not only was it bad, I decided to look at the comments, which is never a good idea. If you want to stay in a good mood. When you look at the comments and people are railing into them saying, Hey, this was inaccurate. This was inaccurate. Right? But even with those inaccuracies that decided to go back and use some of those arguments, people were debating about, well, yeah, tax were higher, but medium income was lower. So I said, great. Let’s pull up the historical bureaus and find out what the census said, you know, on those things.

So anyways, I took a trip back in time to figure out what it really was. So here’s the first thing he said, the Marshall tax rate was higher in 1980, which is true. Your tax rate could be anywhere. It was taxed by just, but get this. We have eight tax brackets right now, right? In the federal income tax. The lowest is 0%. Of course. The highest is 37%. That is the highest bracket possible. Now you don’t get tax all that. It’s a scale that goes up, right? So as you hit each income bracket, that portion of that income bracket is taxed at that rate. So for example, right now missing, I’m not exact on the number. So I just closed them off, but you can get, basically get taxed 0% from like zero to about 18,000 bucks, right. Per year. So you have 18,000 or less of income.

You’re not even getting a tax on the federal side. State, maybe, but not on the federal. Then jumps up to like 10 and then 12 and so on. You know, so the top tax bracket for the median income today, by the way, the median household income today is about $78,500. So the top tax he even hit is 22%. By the way, the tax is owed as of 2020. If you make 78,500 on the federal tax, I’m not talking about the state taxes. Federal tax, you’ll pay 10,332 bucks, which is just over 30% of your income. Your total income. In 1980, the median income was 28,220 bucks. And this is across all races. I found out that white races were actually much higher. It was like 51,000. And I thought that was really interesting to see how it’s such a bigger discrepancy back then. I’m not surprised, but still pretty surprising how much the average white household was making was about 51,000.

But the median household income with all races, just like I did with 2020 was 28,220. Now with all the tax brackets, I did all the math on it. The tax, your taxes owed would be $5,663. So just over half of what you would have you paid today for the median income. The difference is though it’s about a third of the income, right? So that total percentage that you would have paid taxes back in 1980 was 20%. And also here’s the thing. The top tax bracket in 1980 was 70% with zero to 70%. With 16 brackets along the way there. So your top tax bracket even at the median household income, which wasn’t a lot 28,000 bucks, right.

Was still in that 32% tax bracket. That’s the bracket you’re in. The top bracket. So that’s where you’re paying more. So of course, if you’re looking for ways to reduce your taxes, why not find something to give you a tax deferral. In hopes that you would live on less. Here’s a faulty premise of course, is that even if you started saving in 1980, let’s say you have saved for the last 40 years. And I know some of you have. The problem is you’re probably noticing you’re not in a whole lot lower tax bracket today, are you? You know, maybe you earn a decent income, but income goes up with inflation, right? So of course the inflation you’re still having to make more. Now, granted right now is a lower tax bracket, for sure. So if you happen to retire today and you’ve been saving for awhile, you might be pretty happy.

But if you’re saving today, this might be the worst time to try to use a tax deferred account. Because right now we are in the lowest tax brackets we’ve been in decades. You know, this is amazing! These are, the tax rates are awesome! Even better than when I started working. Why would I try to avoid paying taxes now and go for a future date when it’s likely to be higher? And here’s the thing, guys, even if the brackets remained the same because of inflation, you have to consume more money each year to live. If you do, guess what, you’re getting tax on it. By the way, if you’re trying to count on social security, yes, you can get tax on social security. If you pull out more than a certain amount per year, and that’s not a lot of guys, it’s not a lot. So that’s the thing is that right now, it’s just based on taxes alone. The concept was great back then, which was, cause there was high taxes. They’re trying to pay for crazy stuff.

Inflation was going through the roof. It made sense, right? It made sense to say, Hey, the tax rates are ridiculous. I’m likely to be in a lower tax bracket because there’s so many tax brackets. It’s not hard to get to a lower one. So it was easy to kind of contribute to that and lower your tax bracket. But you’re delaying that tax for the future. You’re not really saving any taxes when you do a 401k. In fact, you saved nothing. And remember your employer’s contributions are going in as well, tax deferred and they come out taxed. So that’s a big one right there. Now here’s the thing is that people will say, okay, Chris, got it. You know, what’s the alternative, you know, what about now? You know, what’s going on today? Like what would you recommend?

Here’s the thing guys, again, I’m never going to make blanket statements. I’m not going to make blanket recommendations. I’m not going to give investment advice on the show. That’s because it’s illegal. I can’t do it. Right? But let me give you an example of what can happen because here’s the other problem with the 401k that’s a lie. Now people think with a match, right? This is the other big argument I get all the time. They’re like Chris, does it match though? That’s like a 50% match. That’s like a 50% return or a hundred percent match. It’s like a hundred percent return. So guys, I decided to do some calculations. I said, let’s do it by the numbers. That was another criticism on this guy’s thing. They said they didn’t really go by the numbers. He’s right. He didn’t, he was giving more conceptual stuff. Again, this is why I’m not really sharing the article. Cause it’s not. It’s good, but it’s not great. Right?

It’s not something you’d take as gospel for sure. So look at this way, whenever I talk to people or say, okay, Chris, this is what I’ve been doing. They’re like, I maxed out my 401k. Now when we calculate that with the match, because the match doesn’t go over usually 5% 6% a year. Anyways, if you get a hundred percent, most like get a 3% match or something or 4% maybe. But I said, okay, let’s go for the top that I’ve seen. Usually I won’t see with employer contributions. I won’t see more than 25,000 going in per year. So that’s great. Let’s just say that’s the case. I’m going to run two different scenarios. One have a person that’s about 45 years old with a quarter million saved up in the retirement account. That’s maxing their 401k for the next 20 years. And then I got somebody who’s 25 years old, starting from scratch. Also maxing out their 401k.

Which most people don’t do when they’re 25, but I’m going to say somebody is staying cheap. They’re the ultimate ideal saver, right? And they’re saving for the next 40 years and earning this. Now here’s the another debate. People say, well, what’s the real return? You know, this is why he got, I’ve put the match into this equation, right? With the match. You know, the real rate of return the market is anywhere usually between 7.4% and 7.6%, depending on the day. That’s of course the average I’ve seen like a 30 year average over time. It’s not 10 or 12%, the S&P500 doing at best, right around seven and a half. As of right now, July to July 2020, July 1990 to July of 2020, we went from the first to the first it’s about a 7.47% average.

Now like a real rate of return, not 10 or 12, that’s makes a massive difference when you’re started looking at 20 or even 40 years down the road. I figured, okay, we got that. But remember, there’s also fees in 401ks. And this is something that I saw in those comments. People are like, Oh, I’ve got like 0.04% cause I use Vanguard funds and all that stuff. Here’s the deal, guys. The fees in a 401k, aren’t that bad and even said he’s like, Hey, if you can get outside of the 401k, your fees will probably be less. Right? But here’s the deal guys. Most people never get that. And especially if you have money to go in a 401k, your fees are at least 1% on average. That’s pretty typical. They’re just the administrative fees that are inside 401ks. 401ks by the way, have like almost 20 different fees they can charge you.

So, and they’re all embedded with them. They don’t really make them very public. They’ll make them easily known. This is why people say, Hey, the Mark has been up, but my money’s not going up. Right. If you’ve ever said that, especially if you’ve been in the market long enough, you’ve felt this or noticed it before. You’re like, Hey, the market went up, but my money didn’t. There’s something wrong. This is part of the reason, fees are coming out. So I actually went kind of on the high end. Usually I don’t see people netting more than 6% rate of return. I put this at 6.25, I bonus you a quarter percent because the truth is, my point still going to win out. Even if I’m overly liberal with these numbers. Right? And not even being conservative. I’m actually being liberal against my own point.

I’m playing devil’s advocate against myself. Right? So 6.25%. Again, guys, I know the numbers going out because I just know a few of the guys are going to try to run the numbers yourself. So this is why I’m doing this. So anyways, here’s the deal. So I took that person. I said, Hey, what if you’re 45 years old? You’ve got a quarter million in your 401k as of now, which I know there’s several of you that do around this time. You’re max funding it. You’re going in about 25,000 a year with a match. I’m assuming you’re making that 120,000 or so a year. If you’re making less, it’s less right. But I’m putting this up, you know, kind of on a more conservative end where somebody might be max funding this. So you’re getting in a total of 25,000 a year. At six and a quarter percent after 20 years, you will have about $1.84 million.

So you have nearly $2 million. Now you might think that’s a lot, but you got to understand. There’s another thing working against us, which is inflation. Now I went conservative on this number. Again, playing devil’s advocate against myself, but I just decided to make this a number of conservative. I put it at a 4% inflation rate. Do not trust the government says about what, you know, their consumer price index and the inflation rates are. They’re messing with those rates to slow down the increase on social security payments to you. You know? So they’re trying to let that money stretch and last longer, they’re manipulating those numbers in real life, though, if you notice your real life, it’s not too far fetched to say, you know, about every 10 to 15 years, you know, my lifestyle has to kind of double.

Like what I’m living on today. I’ve got to have about double that within 15 years. You know, if you’re living on $4,000 a month back in 2005, you’re probably living on about $8,000 a month now. Again, changing circumstances with the life that’s the thing with inflation is kind of weird. You can’t really count on it because life situations changes. It can go more or less, but I put it 4%. There’s debates that it could actually be like 6% or 7%. It’s more closer what it’s been. Since we’ve been taken off the gold standard back in the early seventies. So anyways, I put it at 4% just to make it better. Here’s the key guys. When you’re looking at lifestyle, cause $1.84 million sounds great in 20 years. But when you look at the after inflation adjustment, that’s almost like having $840,000. So, and by the way, you haven’t paid taxes on this money yet. You still gotta pay taxes.

So say a quarter of that goes to taxes. You’re now left with about $600,000, right? And we’ll say 650,000. Again, I’ll be overly conservative on this number. 650,000. Here’s the key, again, financial buyers have taught this for years. Some people will say 4%. You can live on, right? That you’re not supposed to take out more than 4%. That’s an old number. That’s a number that worked before, back in the seventies. Most advisors that they’re, if they’re up to speed, won’t say more than pulling out 2% or 3%, especially with people living longer. So if you want your money to last, you want to pull out more than 2% or 3%. So what if you pulled out 3% of this after inflation adjustment of 650,000, that means you have about $19,500 a year lifestyle living on. You have a quarter million right now, you max out your 401k for the next 20 years.

And that’s like, you know, that’s a lot, right? They were putting in like over 18,000 19,000 a year into your 401k only to live on about 19,000 a year after you’ve paid taxes. That doesn’t sound so great. Does it? What if you started brand new? What if you’re a brand new person coming in and you’re like 25 years old, starting from scratch. You start immediately max funding that 401k, just like everybody tells you, you do that for 40 years. Six and a quarter percent with inflation working against you. Well guess what? The ending balance is almost 4.4 million, but after inflation, it’s more like 900, just over $900,000. So when you live on that, and remember you have to take out taxes. So let’s say a quarter of that goes into taxes. You’re left with less than 700,000. Again, you’re living on about, you know, if you factor in 3%, you’re living on about 20,000 a year. It doesn’t get any better.

This is why I say that 401k is a lie! You can not retire of 401k alone. Roth IRA won’t get you there by itself. And you can’t put in enough to make it work. You know, you factor in, even with the 401k, even with the match, you’re max funding it, unless you’re making a half million a year and you’re trying to stuff at full, most likely you can’t even do it that way. No, you can’t even do that much. It doesn’t matter. After some point you actually get restricted IRAs too. Some of you might say, well, I’ll do a SEP IRA. So I can do more of my income. I know some of you I’ve talked to, you put in 50,000 a year. It doesn’t matter, guys. You’re putting in 50,000 a year. You just double that number. And by the way, when you’re putting in SEP IRAs, you’re putting in your own match.

So the truth is you’re not even getting free money. You’re putting in all your own money to then live on about 40,000 to 50,000 a year down the road. If that. You get my point here? Is that whatever you’re trying to max fund into it. If you’re lucky, if the market smiles and you just right, stays around the average, you’re lucky to maybe pull out the same amount of money you’re pulling in. So whatever you’re putting in that’s about what you can pull out. That’s not fantastic, guys. That’s actually seems ridiculous because you can say, wait, I can just take that money, save it. You know, I can save it. Just keep it certain, not have to gamble the stock market. Because if you do like what happened to my dad Y2K knocked his retirement downright before he retired. It postponed his retirement. 15 years guys. That, I mean, this is again assuming averages. This is not assuming what if the market crashes, what if you’re trying to retire next year? And the market crashed in the next few years. Are you going to wait another five years to retire? That’s what some are doing. That’s ridiculous. It’s crazy. It’s insane.

Now let’s look at the alternative. Cause you say, Chris, what’s the alternative. So, you know, we’ve talked about different things. So I took the example of like AHP. Again, never guaranteed, right? But American Homeowner Preservation, you know, you hear their ads on this radio sometimes. They’d pay 10% a year right now. So what if you did the same thing, but here’s the thing. You’re not getting an employer match. Right? So say that you won, you had the 250,000 sitting in your 401k. You cash it out, right? Well, you might be able to avoid the penalty depending on COVID and the cares act, right?

But at least with taxes, you’ve pulled that money out. Let’s say you lose 60,000 of that quarter million. You’re left with 190,000. Okay. There you are. You’ve got 190,000. You can invest it. So say you go and invest in there. Again, this is not a recommendation. I’m just using this as an example of numbers, right? So you get 190,000 leftover after you’ve paid your taxes. You only put in 14,000 a year, not 25,000 because there is no employer match. And because now you’re getting paid that money after taxes, you got to pull taxes out. So even though you might be paying like 18,000 19,000 a year into the 401K, because now you’re taking the money out. Now you’re getting taxed. So I’m actually putting you in what would be viewed as the worst tax scenario, right? Because negative tax pull, you know, not taking, putting the money into your 401k.

Now it’s just coming out. You’re using after tax dollars. By the way, yes, you could invest in AHP pre-tax or with IRA money. But I’m using this as after tax where you get taxed every year. On the grow. So not only did you get taxed on the money, you know, that’s of course you’d actually finally put in, but now the interest you earned, which is at 10% also gets taxed and you still have to fight inflation. But again, it’s at 10% a year, right? After 20 years, here’s the thing, the end balance is almost one and a half million dollars. And this is, using this sort of person that’s 45 years old, right? So that person that said, Hey, I had a quarter million put in 25,000 a year with a match. Now they got 190,000. They’ve put into something like an AHP type fund at 10% putting in 14,000 a year.

They’re just putting their 401k contribution now into this. At 10%, they actually have one really about $400,000 less than they had when you’re putting in the 401k. You might think, well, Chris, even though they made a better return because there’s less money to go in. Yeah. There, of course it’s less. But remember too, when you’re cashing out of that money from the 401k, you gotta pay taxes. So it kinda actually owns breaks even at that point. And, but, well, actually you might end up paying a little bit more in taxes. So you might actually be a little bit under at the 401k, but remember the 401k says you should only be pulling out no more than 3% a year, right? The difference is this is that, again it’s about cash flow. Not accumulating money and then trying to live off less in the interest. It’s cash flow. Because if you had almost one and a half million dollars and you’re getting paid 10% a year, guess what?

Now you’re not pulling off, you know, and now using the numbers, of course, using the, now I’ll use after inflation number. So I just gave you that before. After inflation adjustments about, you know, $667,000, right? So that’s about what you got in, you know, in real dollars after inflation. 667, but you’re being paid 10%. It’s like having $66,700 a year lifestyle. Versus what I just said before with about an, you know, what was that $19,000 lifestyle. So you’re more than triple the lifestyle. Why? Because even though the numbers are about this, end up about the same, the cash flow is way better because the interest that’s paying you, the cash flow that’s coming from that is at 10% and not at 3%. So that’s why you’re getting more than triple the money back. Right? And yeah, you’ll pay tax on it. But so what, like maybe after the other money, your stuff pay tax on that too.

So again, same thing. That’s the person that has got 20 years of retirement. Right? So understand you can now hit those numbers faster. I use the example with that person that’s fresh start. Brand new 25 year old, right? Starting from scratch. So they just put 14,000 a year to AHP or something that earning 10%, right? Well, they’re going to end with about 3.4 million, but after inflation, that’s only like 716,000. But once again, because even though it’s like at $716,000 type of thing after inflation, the lifestyle that you can have is your pull off 10% a year is 71,000 a year. Much better than going about 20,000 a year. Right? Once again, kicks the crap out of it because it’s about cashflow, not just about accumulating money. And again, like I said, the 401k, it has to work at the right timing. You have to retire just the right time.

Otherwise it could be worked wrong. You got to make sure that taxes don’t go up dramatically. I was just pretending the taxes were staying similar, which they may or may not. If taxes go up, you’re getting host on your 401k. And people often will tell me that, Chris, I don’t know if I was a betting person. I would say that taxes are likely to go up from now. And I say with the way they’re printing money right now, either they’re going to cause massive inflation, which if you cause even worse inflation, that means you have to pull out more money, which means still more tax. Or they raise tax rates keep inflation down. So then you now have more money coming out, either way you lose when you start using that 401k. Or an IRA or anything else. Again, there is no product that a financial advisor can offer that will get you to that freedom. To be able to get you to that number.

You know, you have to be saving a ridiculous amount of money over a hundred thousand a year in hopes that you’re gonna make something. Or just live on a really cheap, you know, fixed income type lifestyle, right? Where you just try to do nothing. Don’t travel. Don’t go anywhere. Don’t visit grandkids. Just sit in your front porch and drink lemonade. Why? Not because you know, you want to, but because you can’t afford to go anywhere else and Lemonade’s on sale at the store. That’s why. This is the key factor here guys, is that it’s all about cash flow. And by the way, this is that 10% with tax with no tax advantages. If you do things like real estate, you can make better than that amount of money. And I’m not throwing those numbers out there. I’m staying on the low side. I’m basically going conservative with my point.

And I liberal against my point. Just to prove a point. Which is, is that there is a different world, a world of much better hope. If you look outside with the mainstreams, trying to pitch you and they’re selling you. And they’re selling you because they make billions of dollars in management fees off that. They want to keep the money in there forever. They’re the ones telling you to live on 2% or 3%. Why? Because then their money keeps growing. Their stock prices keep going up. Their CEO’s get keep getting paid more. They’re making more money because you’re not! And guys, that is one of the big reasons why I’m so passionately against things like 401ks, IRAs, which by the way, the government determines the rules and they can change the rules at any time. There’s no certainty. There’s no planning that can be done in those situations because you can’t maneuver with it.

You don’t even know what the rules are going to be like in 10, 20 years, how you, unless you’re retiring today, you have no clue. And even then they could change the rules. Look how they’re changing the rules on us right now because of a little virus, right? They’re freaking out. And they’re using that as a way to be able to change rules on us. We have a very different life today than we had six months ago. Wouldn’t you agree with that? Why couldn’t they change it on you? With the financial tools and things like that? The vehicles that they’ve been recommending. Of course they can. They need more taxes. They know where to go. They go for the people that are poor and middle class that don’t know what they’re doing. That are going and investing in these 401ks have zero tax advantages. And with the match, it’s just golden handcuffs.

You know, that little employer match does so little compared to the cost and the risk. But guys, just like you might’ve heard Robert Kiyosaki say, he says, the people that get the best tax breaks, the best tax advantages are the business owners or investors. If you’re in that category, if you get out of the employee mindset, you get out of that traditional mainstream mindset. Now you can actually have hope to break free. And guys, that is the kind of stuff that we’re talking about. Again, each of your situations are individual and different. I get that. Sometimes there are rare occasions, I think 401k works. Especially if you can pull money out right away. Like I get, I’ve had people get the match, pull the money out and go invest it on their own and they can work great. But, it is solo 401ks, by the way, guys, for those of you that are investors doing solo 401ks, I don’t trust those either because anything can change those rules and not to mention that we just don’t know.

I mean, plus if you get sued, I mean, there’s other issues that can happen there. You have assets they’re exposed that works against you in different scenarios. Either way, money getting locked up, get your money out of prison, get into a place that works for you. You guys want to know what that is. If you haven’t listened to show. There’s great examples of that. You know what, if you’re at the point you say, Chris, I think now’s the time I got to change my strategy. Shoot me an email. Say, Chris, what do you think about my situation? What do you think I should do? Just shoot me an email. Chris@MoneyRipples.com. And yes, I answer my emails. I shocked a guy he’s like, I can’t believe you keep telling me to email you. And I finally did it. And that guy, it was a slam dunk.

I was like, man, like, I’m so glad you actually had the courage to do it. Because for him it was like a 70,000 a year difference. You know, like a passive income that he could create from his current situation. I’m not saying that’s you, it could be, it might not be. But either way, if you think there’s a calling or a feeling with in you saying, I think now���s a time to do something different. The marks recovered. Maybe now’s the time to do something different right now. Why? While there’s still money in the market, you know, while the market’s still overvalued drastically, right? This might be the time. So again, if you have questions about that, shoot me an email. Chris@MoneyRipples.com.

Guys, I hope this valuable. I hope you start to see why the 401k just cannot and will not work. And this is why I’m so passionate against it. Cause I’ve run these numbers over and over and over. And it comes up with the same results. Guys. You can’t expect to get something different when it hasn’t ever been different. This is how it’s been. This is why I left financial advising. And this is why I did something different. They gave me different results that got me to retire when other financial advisors can’t retire. And by the way, great question for financial advisors, ask them, Hey, did you get financially free off the advice you’ve been giving? Not from the commissions you’re earning, but actually from doing the things you’re telling your clients. And I can tell you honestly, I’m doing the things that I tell people to do as well. They don’t! They aren’t retired off that their mutual funds and their 401ks and IRAs. They aren’t! They are making money by selling you this lie!

This needs to stop now! This is why I’m here. This is a ripple effect I want to create. Guys, I hope you share this episode too. Share this other people. They need to know the truth. This has to stop! There are too many dumb pundits out there teaching this crap because people are putting money in their pocket, telling them, Hey, you do this. We pay you money. We will give you a little perks and benefits if you do this. So much money being thrown, at these 401ks and other plans. So you buy them and you buy a hook line and sinker. But the only person that loses is not the person telling you on the radio, right? Or on the TV or on interviews. Those people aren’t losing. The financial companies aren’t losing. It’s only you. This has got to stop. Guys, I hope this is valuable for you. Make it a wonderful and prosperous week and change your life now. It’s all about action and taking action to do something different. Do the opposite of what you’ve been told to do. Make it a wonderful week. We’ll see you later.

[dog-matterz]

Basic Dog Commands - Training a Puppy

All things in life need to grow and develop. This applies to our relationships as well. This also applies to our relationships with our dogs. Whether you just got your furry best friend and want to plant the seeds of a harmonious long-term friendship, or you have been living together for a while, and want to take your relationship to the next level, we all need guidance sometimes. And just like you would go to a specialist if you wanted more out of your relationship with your partner, you would go to a... dog training school if you needed to work on your relationship with your dog.

The question is, how do you find a good specialist? Now, if you were just feeling under the weather, you would probably go to a general practitioner. But what if you had a toothache? I bet you would go to a dentist instead! Same with dog training. First, you need to decide whether you want to work on general obedience, aggression, separation anxiety, or maybe you want to take on therapy dog training or a protection dog training course. And then you got to read on because we created a list of local hidden gems in San Diego area that specialize in exactly the kind of dog training classes you want!

Now, what types of dog training schools are we going to look at exactly?

Dog Obedience Training

Aggressive Dog Training

Protection Dog Training or Guard Dog Training

Behavior Modification Dog Training - Dog Separation Anxiety Training

Therapy Dog Training

Service Dog Training

We will also take a look at such training types as a dog training camp, group classes, in home dog training and online dog training.

All of these gems have 5-star ratings on Yelp, tons of happy clients and they are local, oftentimes family-owned businesses, so you can make great friends among your neighbors while doing some training as well!

First things first, there are plenty of options out there in regards to dog training. How do you know which one is good for you? Here are 6 tips.

6 Tips For Picking the Right Dog Training School

1. Know That the Dog Training Industry is Unregulated

That means that virtually anyone could call him or herself a trainer, sadly. However, there are certifications and organizations that can help you identify those who actually have the right designations and experience. Always check to see if the trainer has some of the following certifications: The Association of Professional Dog Trainers (APDT), The Academy for Dog Trainers (ADT), the Certification Council for Professional Dog Trainers (CPDT KA), the Karen Pryor Academy for Animal Training & Behavior (KPAATB), or the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants. Being the primary educational organization for trainers, APDT has a very useful resource called Trainer Search that allows you to find trainers in your area based on your city or zip code. Great tool! Note that if a trainer is certified by the APDT it does not necessarily imply that he or she uses a specific training method, which brings us to the next tip.

2. Know the Training Methods Used

Now, all trainers have different training methods, but here are a few basic things that would help you swim confidently in the sea of trainer jargon. There are currently 4 basic methods of training that stem from behavioral psychology: positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, positive punishment and negative punishment. Now, the words positive and negative aren't representing the concept of "good and evil" here, they function more like they would in math, with positive meaning addition and negative meaning subtraction of something. It will become clearer in a second.

Positive Reinforcement

This is the most popular method today, and, sure enough, you are all familiar with it. Positive reinforcement has, at its core, rewarding a dog for desired behavior usually with a treat, a toy or play time, depending on what motivates your dog the most. The trick is to pick the right timing: just as your dog does the desired behavior, reward him or her right away, and supplement the treat with a high-pitched "good dog", to make sure your pet realizes how pleased you are with this behavior. See how a treat is added here? This is the positive part, the addition.

Negative Reinforcement

This technique involves taking something unpleasant away to reinforce the desired behavior. That is how electric fences work, for example. When a dog gets too close to the perimeter, it gets a shock, but the shock disappears the moment the dog moves away from the boundary. This way, the dog learns to stay away from the perimeter. See the subtraction here - the unpleasant sensations are taken away to reinforce a behavior, this is negative reinforcement.

Positive Punishment

With punishment techniques, the trainer is trying to make a particular behavior happen less often. With positive punishment, the trainer adds some unpleasant stimuli to discourage a behavior. With excessive barking, for example, a trainer can add a spray bark collar to the training, so that every time a dog barks, it gets sprayed. The dog will associate nuisance barking with being sprayed, and this will discourage him or her from barking all night long again. Did you see how with this technique a trainer would add (=positive) something to discourage a behavior (=punishment).

Negative Punishment

This technique implies taking something away (=negative) in order to discourage a behavior (=punishment). A good example would be if a trainer turns away from a dog that is jumping on him or other people to get attention. He takes the attention away from the dog to discourage undesired behavior. This method is often used together with positive reinforcement to reduce the unwanted behavior and reinforce the desired behavior.

Ah, that was quite a bit of information, right? Did it become somewhat clearer what the different training methods do? Great. There is still much debate around the best training methods in the trainers' world, but what you choose remains up to you.

Now that you've learnt more about the behavioral psychology, do you start seeing some similarities between how we train dogs and how the government trains us? On to the next tip.

3. Choose the Training Type

Group Classes, Boot Camps, In House Training or even Skype chats - there is every type of dog training you might need under the sun. Consider the benefits and drawbacks. With in house dog training the obvious advantage is that you will get more personal attention. If your dog has some socialization issues, in home training won't be as effective as group dog training classes, where both you and your fido can learn to be around other dogs and work around so many tempting distractions. If you want your dog to get the experience of a full immersion, then a dog training camp will be the best option. Whereas, if your budget is tight, online dog training might be the solution you are looking for. Deciding on the type of training you need will make the task of finding a good dog training school way easier.

4. Watch a Class Before You Sign Up

Once you picked a class or a training school, take some time to come to one of the training sessions and just observe. Pay attention to the following:

How big is the class size and whether you will be getting enough attention,

If puppies and adult dogs are trained separately,

How many levels do the classes have (basic, intermediate, advanced),

How the trainer interacts with the dogs,

How dogs react to the training,

Whether everyone seems to be having fun and enjoying the process.

If you ticked all the checkboxes here, and are comfortable with the environment, you have found a good candidate.

5. Don't Forget About Vaccinations

Safety first! Make sure your dog is properly vaccinated before you start any dog training and get the green light from your vet. Next, ensure that the training school requires every dog to be vaccinated and is asking for a proof. This way you can rest assured that the safety aspect of your training is covered.

6. Ask About the Follow Up

Now, what happens after you have completed the course? Do you get a lifetime membership and can come any time for future "tune ups", or are follow up visits limited? Maybe there are no follow up visits in case a problem does arise. Make sure to ask the school or the trainer about what happens once you are done with their program.

Great, you are all set for the dog training school of your dreams. Now, we are introducing you to the 10 hidden gem schools with 5-star Yelp ratings that specialize in the type of dog training you are looking for. Go ahead and find the one for you!

    DO YOU WANT TO KNOW DOG FOOD SECRET; CLICK HERE

Top 10 Dog Training School Hidden Gems

Let's start with puppy training. The best time to start training is when your pooch is between 3 and 14 weeks old, it doesn't mean that your pup doesn't learn well afterwards, but it is just the juiciest time when he or she absorbs new tricks like a sponge, so take advantage of that if you can! The next stage at which pet owners often need assistance is the 6 months mark, when pups transition into adolescence, and this time is much like the teenage years we've all been through - rough. Puppy training to the rescue!

1. Woofingham Palace - Puppy Training 

Woofingham Palace is our 5-star hidden gem for specialized puppy socialization and puppy training in San Diego. It is a family-owned business run by Samantha & Jon Mears, who both immigrated from London 11 years ago. Hence, the name of their dog training school. Samantha Mears is a certified professional dog trainer, who passed her CPDT KA (Certification Council for Professional Dog Trainlines) exam with distinction. Samantha has worked with dogs every day for over 10 years. She is also a Member of the Association of Pet Dog Trainers (APDT) and is a qualified Canine Good Citizen Evaluator and a member of the Pet Professional Guild (PPG).

Woofingham Palace offers plenty of different puppy training options for you and your pooch all held within a fenced training area in the shade of large sails. The classes are small, so you will get that individual attention. This dog training school puts lots of emphasis on puppy socialization, and notes that pups who have been socialized young tend to show less behavior problems in the future than those pups who haven't. The prices for group puppy training classes vary from over $100 to over $300, so you have plenty of options.

2. Total K9 Training - K9 Dog Training/ Dog Obedience Training 

Now, an all 5-star hidden gem for dog obedience training in San Diego is Total K9 Dog Training. Its trainer, Shannon, is a Member of the International Association of Canine Professionals (IACP), member of APDT (Association of Pet Dog Trainers), and is CPDT Certified. She also holds a BA in Psychology and started training animals in 1991 at Sea World. Total K9 Dog Training offers a range of classes, but specializes in dog obedience training, both beginner and advanced.

Total K9 Dog Training teaches the owners how to become good leaders for their dogs without using any intimidation or domination techniques. They focus on building the trust and communication that would allow the dog to follow the owner... even when he or she doesn't have that tasty food handy. Shannon puts a lot of emphasis of training the whole family on how to work with their dog, as this strengthens the bond between all the family members and ensures that everything a dog learns at school will be further reinforced at home. The prices of classes vary, but the general range is between $100 and $165 for group classes.

Total K9 Dog Training serves the areas of San Diego: Escondido, 4S Ranch, Del Sur, Santa Luz, Rancho Bernardo, Poway, Sabre Springs, Rancho Penasquitos, Scripps Ranch.

3. Think Pawsitive Dog Training - Service Dog Training and Therapy Dog Training

Interested in Therapy Dog Training/Service Dog Training? A service or therapy dog certification requires you to take a number of steps along the way. Think Pawsitive dog training school can help you throughout the process. Its founder, Vanessa Melrose, is a member of APDT (Association of Pet Dog Trainers), certified by ABCDT (ABC Dog Trainer) and KPA CTP (Karen Pryor Academy Certified Training Partner). She has been working with dogs since 2003.

What Think Pawsitive offers in terms of service dog training and therapy dog training: it offers to help you with the entire process, from basic training to preparing and passing the CGC Certification and Therapy Pet Certification, which you must get in order for your dog to become an official service/therapy dog. To start the program, your dog doesn't need to be a specific size or breed, it needs to have a calm, friendly temperament. You know, a therapy dog - boy, that patience! Therapy Dog Evaluations are $30, and Think Pawsitive offers extended discounts for referrals or recently adopted pets, so you can email Vanessa directly to learn more about the program and the pricing.

4. Behave! - Aggressive Dog Training

Behave! - another hidden gem that specializes in aggressive dog training in San Diego. Its founder, Alexandra Gant, graduated from ACBDT animal behavior college, and since 2012 has been working with "unworkable" or "last chance" dogs who are on the verge of being euthanized or re-homed due to aggression issues. Alex focuses on teaching owners in need of dog aggression training how to train the dog by themselves, without relying on professional help. Behave! trainers are knowledgeable about the different forms of aggression and believe that aggression is a symptom of a much deeper problem, so they focus on fixing the problem, rather than just the symptoms.

Behave! realizes that dog aggression training is a big commitment, so it encourages all owners who work with them to consider packages instead of sessions. The classes are $80-$125 Per Session, and they currently offer a 10% package discount.

5. American Canine Training - Dog Protection Training 

So you were looking for guard dog training in San Diego? We found a hidden gem for that too, all 5 stars - American Canine Training. Chris Moredock is the head trainer, certified by APDT (Association of Pet Dog Trainers) and the Pro-train institute of California.

American Canine Training has a number of different options when it comes to dog protection training. You can choose Security Alert Training, which will teach your dog to watch out for strangers and warn you should they be up to something spooky. It will also teach your dog to stop aggressive responses on your command. Or you could go for a Personal Protection Training (on and off leash), which will teach the dog to protect his or her humans and property, learn "attack" and "release" commands, etc. There you go, you are on your way to getting that cool police-style dog you've always wanted.

6. Legends Dog Training - Behavior Modification Dog Training/Dog Separation Anxiety Training

If your pooch needs some professional behavior modification training, this is your local 5-star professional dog behaviorist - Legends Dog Training School. They specialize in dog separation anxiety training, training for dogs with impulsivity issues, fearful response to other dogs and many other behavioral problems.

Alyssa Rose (Lapinel), the founder of Legends, is a CPDT-KA certified Canine Training and Behavior Specialist with 15 years of experience in the area of behavioral studies. She is also certified by the Council for Professional Dog Trainers, and by Triple Crown Dog Training Academy. Alyssa is an AKC Citizen Evaluator, and a Professional Member of The Association of Pet Dog Trainers (APDT). She applied her degree in Phycology to work with children and adults diagnosed with serious disorders such as schizophrenia, autism and bipolar disorder, and later used this experience to start working with animals. Alyssa designs behavior modification dog training programs that address the root cause of a behavioral problem and provide a systematic framework for improving communication and strengthening the bond between the dog and his/her owner.

One consultation costs $150, but it is included if you decide to pursue a training package with 5 classes for $575. Mind you, different options are available, so check Legends website and see their contact info below to learn more.

7. Pawtopia - Dog Agility Training 

You have sure enough heard about this dog training school - Pawtopia. But did you know that they had a specialized dog agility training class? Yep, this one also made it to our hidden gems list. Its founder, Colleen Demling, is an accredited trainer with 16 years of experience. She is an AKC Canine Good Citizen Evaluator, is accredited by the CBCC-KA and CPDT-KA, as well as IABBC. Colleen also designed the Temperament Test for the Naval Medical Center's Therapy Dog Program here at San Diego. Colleen is actively involved in many professional organizations, including the International Association of Canine Professionals, the Association of Pet Dog Trainers, and the Animal Behavior Management Alliance.

"Fun with Agility!" is the class Pawtopia offers for dogs of all levels of training, so don't look away if you are not interested in competing - this is dog agility training class for all those who just want to have fun, run through tunnels and jump through hoops, no pressure! The price is $170, and you can learn more on the Pawtopia website.

8. Devotion to Dogs - In Home Dog Training

For those of you looking for in home dog training, Ben of Devotion to Dogs offers just that, and takes a place in our list of hidden San Diego gems. Ben is a graduate of Northridge Animal Behavior College, is AKC certified, and is a member of IACP. Ben has been a dog trainer for 15 years, and trained dogs with a variety of behavioral issues. He also works with local rescues and believes that every dog can be trained and successfully rehabilitated. His specialty is in home dog training: a personal, one on one type of training that allows him to assess the environment and find the right solution. And allows you to save time on commute of course.

Devotion to Dogs offers a variety of packages. The starting package includes a 2-4 hour in home session as well as a 1 hour follow up session, which goes for $500. 

9. Tully's Training - Online Dog Training

If you need some flexibility or are on a budget, Tully's Training offers not only private in home training and group classes, but also basic obedience positive-reinforcement online dog training - via Skype.

Tully's Training team is comprised of trainers with experience in exotic, domestic, and marine mammal training, which allows it to look at animal behavior from different angles. One of their most titled trainers is Meghan McLeod, who reportedly trained with a number of well-recognized behaviorists such as Karen Pryer and Dr. Ian Dunbar. Meghan is also a certified CGC evaluator. Check out Tully's team of trainers with a whole spectrum of different backgrounds here.

According to Tully's, online dog training has been working great for them and their clients, as they are able to get that same individual, one on one session that you would get in person for a fraction of the cost. So, if online dog training suits your needs, this is the school for you. Training packages are highly customizable. 

10. Specialty Dog Training - Dog Training Camp San Diego

Were you looking for a dog training camp in San Diego? Then this is the place for you - Specialty Dog Training. It is a family-owned dog training school founded by Graham Bloem, a professional dog trainer with 17+ years of experience and a recipient of numerous awards, including American Red Cross Real Heroes Award and the Honeywell Life Safety Award presented by Larry King himself. Graham's team consists of a number of seasoned professionals that together have accumulated numerous accreditations, including certificates by IACP, APDT (Association of Pet Dog Trainers), NADOI, ABSCDT and others. Graham and his wife, Kyrie, also actively support nonprofits, shelters and rescue organizations.

Specialty Dog Training focuses on using positive reinforcement and discipline in their training. Their dog training camp, i.e. in-kennel training, dog board and train or a boot camp is a structured environment where your dog will be taught all the obedience basics he or she needs to be a great companion. Being away from the usual environment is a good opportunity for your dog to "reset", while the trainers can work on his/her behavioral issues in a controlled environment.

Specialty Dog Training offers plenty of packages, they also have a Boot Camp Special for the month of March, with 25% off all dog training camps. The price varies between $1575 (with the discount) for a 2-week program with 2 private sessions, to $5400 for an 8-week program with 2 private lessons.

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