#like maybe this class just fucking sucks and just happens to be filled with some of the most whiny ass motherfuckers i have ever had

[famouslysleepy]

my god i have GOT to make more black friends/mutuals if only so i can stop feeling weird about bringing up the race card when discussing a situation

like i can not be having just my mom and my sister be the only fuckers i talk to when I’m having suspicions that some underlying level of racism going on in s situation

[pupyuj]

Mean dom wonnie and yujin/ OR MAYBE REI being the mean girl duo, top at their class and just happens to get interested in you, maybe g!p🗣️✨🎀 with an unnie kink✨

gonna do mean girls wony and rei bcs ehehe i don’t write enuff rei 🥺🥺😢💓 plus ya’ll do NOT want me to yap about mean girl yuj or else we’ll end up with a ycs-long rant about me wanting mean girl yuj to make up a horrible rumor about me and ridicule me in front of the entire student body and then break my glasses and laugh in my face about it… THE VOICESSSS 👹👹👹👹

anyways, pardon for the long author’s note but omg i rlly enjoyed this ask for some reason LIKE I HAD SO MUCH FUN WHILE WRITING IT 😵‍💫😵‍💫🤭 i couldn’t incorporate unnie kink at all bcs i completely forgot about it MY APOLOGIES I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND ANON 🥺🙏

mean girls wony and rei who scares everyone except you bcs you always end up being third best at the class bcs of them and so you absolutely hate their guts 😡 never receiving the praises you deserve bcs they hog all the spotlight as well as the top marks.. mean girls wony and rei who took an interest for the feisty academic overachiever you, (y/n), bcs they finally noticed you glaring daggers at them from the top of your book from across the courtyard benches one summer afternoon in the campus… mean girls wony and rei who take it to themselves to teach you a thing or two about respecting your betters 🤭✨✨

them somehow catching you studying alone in an empty classroom.. talking to you with fake smiles with an even faker tone of speaking, offering to help you review for the next week’s assessments which you refused quite rudely… and ofc wony wasn’t going to let that slide! 👿👿 here they were, offering you a nice way to finally beat them in the class and yet reject them?? in such a tone too?? you were just asking to be punished!

wony grabbing your chin harshly.. digging her nails in your skin before she stuffs your mouth with her fingers, daring you to speak to them like that again.. while rei’s off to the side recording all of this with her phone… ykw maybe you were shitting your pants bcs what the fuck??? “well?? you were so brave just a few minutes ago..” wony says, laughing as you gagged and choked on her long fingers 😵‍💫 rei spotting you eyeing down wonyoung’s hard-on.. “wony, i think there’s something else (y/n) would rather have in her mouth.”

“of course! fucking slut. come on, rei-yah. let’s give her what she wants and fill her up.”

ughhfhfhschcbcj rei occupying your mouth while wonyoung keeps one of your hands busy.. you completely forgetting that rei is recording bcs all of a sudden you were their little whore and all you wanted to was to please them?? sucking off rei so good that her normally soft moans are louder, her head thrown back while she uses her free hand to keep your head still, thrusting her cock into your mouth at a comfortable pace… “o-only learning how to.. ahh… cooperate with us when it comes to this, hm? we should’ve fucked you earlier. right, wonyoung?” rei grabbing a fistful of your hair from the back and forcing you to look at her while you sucked her off.. smiling as she looks at your pathetic face back and forth between on her phone and behind the camera 😵‍💫😵‍💫

meanwhile, wonyoung was burning hot—she wants to cum so bad!! she was rock-hard and throbbing, she must’ve wanted this for a while.. ugh she doesn’t know how the fuck you did it but even when you were mostly preoccupied with rei fucking your mouth, you still found ways to please wonyoung with your hand 🫣 more and more of her precum leaking and coating her length as you jerked her off.. toying with the head and making wonyoung whine, nearly making her cum even! and she does merely a few minutes later bcs poor baby couldn’t hold it! 😣 her cum spilling all over your hand and the side of your face.. a much, much better look on you than makeup if you ask wony 🤭 and rei adds to it too! cumming right after wonyoung and making sure to pull out just to decorate your face with her cum…

and then! surprising the two girls with a barrage of questions that they didn’t expect from your mostly polite mouth at all 🫣

“is.. is that it..?”

“y-you’ll.. fuck me, right? i want you both inside me…”

“please..? i-i’m good.. i promise, i am..!”

what the fuck?! who knew you can be such an obedient cockslut! and why would rei and wony say no to that cute face? best believe that they’d fuck you in turns and together for as long as you can take in that classroom! mean girls know how to fuck a good girl’s brains out after all 🤭🤭

[cherryflavoured7777]

Do you miss me, dear? [h.c]

Summary: Stuck at a graduation party, surrounded by memories of your past relationship and your own loneliness, your night takes an unexpected turn when you find yourself dialing the number of the one person you vowed you wouldn't contact.

Pairing: College!Hazel x College!Fem!Reader 

Contains: smut 18+ only, explicit language, drinking, smoking, mutual pining, slightly toxic reader I think, fingering (r! receiving), oral(r! receiving), break-up/make-up sex, idiots in love, this one gets straight-up MUSHY I’m not gonna lie

Word count: 4.1k

a/n: I just need to say I am deeply obsessed with all of you who interacted with either of my last two fics. reading your comments/ replies seriously makes me SO happy you have no idea. Got me giggling and shit fr! I don’t know why my writing always ends up including partying and drinking but maybe it’s because I just graduated college and am having an existential post-grad crisis. Anyway 💀I hope you enjoy and thank you again for reading!!!

Also, this is inspired by this song by one of my favourite bands:  

“I don’t know what I’m still doing here.” You say out loud to yourself, standing up from the musty green couch you were sitting on. An empty beer bottle falls from the cushion onto the ground, shattering into pieces beside your foot. 

This party sucked. Pushing your way through the crowded, stuffy kitchen, you couldn't shake off the feeling of suffocation. Tipsy couples entangled in each other's arms seemed to be everywhere, a painful reminder of what you once had and lost. The memories of being that annoying person in love at a party flooded back, amplifying the ache of your loneliness.

The thumping music in your ears only made your head pound harder. Desperate for a breath of fresh air, you stumbled toward the door, ignoring the intoxicated laughter and clinking glasses that filled the air. As you stepped outside, the cool night breeze hit your face, offering a momentary rescue from the overwhelming atmosphere inside.

The darkness of the night sky above seemed to swallow you whole, but it felt strangely comforting. Leaning against the porch railing, you closed your eyes, trying to regain your composure. In the silence outside, you could hear distant laughter and the faint sound of music, muffled by the walls of the house.

You settled into a seat around a glass table, next to a guy you recognized from one of your classes. You exchanged a quick nod of acknowledgment before reaching into your purse, retrieving a box of cigarettes. Smoking was not a regular habit for you, but you reserved it for moments like these—after a few drinks and a growing sense of irritation. 

You lit the end of the cigarette, watching it crackle, and took a long drag. As you exhaled the smoke, you tilted your head back, noticing the full moon glowing brightly above.

"Full moon tonight," the boy beside you remarked, his voice carrying a note of intrigue. "They say some crazy shit can happen on full moons."

You chuckled bitterly. "Yeah, well, that could explain why I'm stuck at this party right now."

He leaned back, studying you intently. 

“I wish I could be an astronaut and get the fuck out of here.” You mused, gaze fixed on the bright glow of the moon. "I only came to this party because she said she would be here." Another drag of the cigarette punctuated your words.

"Who's she?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"My ex," you replied, trying to seem nonchalant. His gaze was fixed on you, "Hazel."

-

Until today, you hadn't spoken to Hazel in over three months, choosing to cut off all contact in an attempt to speed up the process of moving on. You're both surprised that you managed to endure the silence for so long, and disappointed that she hasn't made any effort to reach out, not even once. 

That was until about six hours ago when you were sitting at a coffee shop on campus with your roommate, Brittany, studying for your upcoming statistics exam. 

"Don't look now, but Hazel just walked in," she whispers, her tone hushed, and her eyes widening. "And she's with another girl."

Your heart plummeted into your stomach. You were seated with your back to the door, and you watched as they both approached the corner, heading in your direction.

"Brittany!" the blonde girl accompanying Hazel exclaims, leaving the three of you momentarily stunned.

Hazel follows a few steps behind, clearly taken aback by the encounter. She looked annoyingly hot, her disheveled brown hair, baggy white t-shirt and black jeans, adorned with her signature silver chains and rings. It takes all your strength not to stare. 

"Hey, Amanda," Brittany replied, forcing a polite smile. "Hazel."

Hazel offers a nod in greeting to Brittany and then to you. You feel like a middle-schooler again, awkward and unsure of how to act around your crush.

"Did you manage to finish that paper for Professor Sharpe's class?" the girl asked. 

As Brittany carries on the conversation with Amanda, you can feel Hazel's gaze on you, catching her eyes occasionally. 

You never anticipated the aftermath of your breakup with Hazel to be this awkward. All those nights spent tangled up together, where you both believed you could read each other's minds, now reduced to this.

"So, Hazel, are you going to Emma’s graduation party tonight? All of us are going," Brittany chimed in, attempting to steer the conversation away from the obvious tension.

Hazel smiled sheepishly, replying, "Yeah, I’m going."

"Cool," Brittany replied, her smile masking the underlying awkwardness in the air.

A beat of uncomfortable silence hung between you all.

"Will you be there?" Hazel asked breaking the silence, turning toward you, her voice almost hesitant.

"Yeah, I'll be there," you said, mustering a small smile. "Wouldn’t want to miss it."

Hazel smiled, "Cool," she said, her voice soft, "I'll see you there then."

Just as the atmosphere began to ease, Amanda abruptly intervened, her grip firm on Hazel's hand. "Hazel, let’s go, I forgot something in my car," Amanda said, her tone strangely possessive, and she dragged Hazel away before you could utter another word.

-

This breadcrumb of information has led you here. You spent the first fifteen minutes at the party searching for her like a lost puppy. When you couldn't find her, you contemplated leaving but opted to drown your thoughts with tequila shots instead. Now, you're clinging to any scrap of attention you can find, desperately trying to purge her from your mind.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the male voice beside you. "D’you have a light?" he asked, his cigarette aimed in your direction. You stare at him for a moment, deadpan, still frozen in your thoughts from the events that unfolded earlier today. 

"Fuck it," you muttered under your breath, reaching for your phone. You’re calling her.

-

“You’re soaked,” Hazel says as you climb into the front seat of her car, her tone a mix of concern and annoyance. “Seriously, you’re getting mud all over the floor of my car.” While you were waiting for Hazel to pick you up from the party, It started raining, you thought enduring it outside would be better than being stuffed in that small house full of people you didn't even really know. 

“You lied.” You retort back. 

“What?”

“You said you were coming to the party.” 

“Yeah well, my plans changed. Put your seatbelt on.” As she shifted the car into reverse, she placed her hand on your seat to steady herself. With a quick glance over your shoulder, she backed out of the driveway in one brisk movement.

You attempted to keep your composure, trying not to make it entirely obvious that you were basically drooling over how hot she looked doing that.  

“I can tell that there’s someone else,” You say after a few moments of silence, trying to disguise your jealousy with innocent curiosity. “Come on, tell me,” You finally click your seatbelt into place. “I can take it well.” 

"Oh, I know you can," she replied, shooting you a smug look, trying to divert this conversation from getting too deep right now.

“Hazel.” You groan at her dumb attempt at an innuendo, throwing your head backward and hitting the headrest. “Just be honest. Is it the girl from the coffee shop earlier? Or what about the girl Isabel saw you with last week at the library? Or both? Who am I kidding, there’s probably even more than that.”

“Do you have like, personal spies assigned to watch over me?”

You don’t respond right away, deciding to avoid her questions like she’s avoiding yours. You crank the window open and throw your head out. The spring wind cool on your face. 

“God, you’re so annoying sometimes.”

She’s quiet for a moment. 

Look, I know I wasn't where I said I'd be, but I was busy, doing stuff," she replied defensively.

"Yeah," you scoffed, your words tinged with a hint of anger. "I'm sure you were."

You sit the next few minutes in silence, wondering if this whole thing was a bad idea. You couldn't pinpoint why you had called her in the first place. The intensity of seeing her earlier mixed with the disappointment of the lackluster party had left you missing her, even though you weren't entirely sure why.

"So, where am I taking you?" Hazel asked, her gaze shifting from the road to you. Strands of her brown hair were tousled by the wind.

Your buzz had faded, and with it, your initial courage waned. Swallowing hard, you hesitated before speaking. "Can I sleep at yours? Not— not like that," you hurriedly clarified, feeling a sudden need to explain. "It's just that Brittany has her new boyfriend over, and I could go back there, but I don’t really want to."

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.�� 

After a moment, Hazel hesitantly rested her hand on your thigh, both of you aware of the significance of the touch, even if neither acknowledged it. Her fingers gave a gentle squeeze, the subtle pressure made your tummy flip. Beneath the surface, an unspoken understanding lingered, hinting that this night might entail more than just a ride home.

-

Hazel's apartment is full of brown moving boxes, an aching reminder of why you broke up in the first place. 

“Wow, this place is pretty much all packed up.” You say, slowly walking through the place, eventually landing at the doorway into her bedroom. 

She nods in response, her face reflecting a mixture of anticipation and sadness, settling down at the end of her bed.

"So, when do you leave?" The question weighed heavily on your heart as you voiced it. You wished you didn't have to ask these questions, yearning for a time when you were part of her plans, not just a spectator.

“Two weeks. My Aunt is gonna meet me at JFK and help me move into my new place.”

You sighed, feeling brave, "I wish I had the date circled on my calendar, helping you move, or going with you." You say the last part quiet, mostly to yourself.

The conversation lingered in the air, a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.

You walked over to her dresser, where a mirror was propped up, decorated with photos of you two from a photobooth, still clinging to the glass. Your heart swelled with mixed emotions.

Hazel says your name, breaking you from your trance. 

“Come here,” she says. 

You walk over slowly, standing between her legs. Your hands rest on her shoulders and you take a deep breath.

With both of your gazes locked, her hands came up behind your thighs, gently grabbing them and pulling them on either side of her one by one so you’re straddling her. Her hand comes up to brush a piece of hair from your face. 

“You’re so beautiful, baby” Her voice is barely a whisper as she stares up at you, her eyes practically shimmering with your reflection, Her hands settle on your waist, the warmth of her touch sending a pang of guilt through you. This breakup was unlike any you'd experienced before, and the raw emotions lingered, making you hesitate for a moment.

Your hands move up to cradle her face, your thumb dragging on her bottom lip. Still maintaining intense eye contact, you slowly slip your finger into her mouth, watching her with a mix of awe and longing.

The silence as you stare at each other is anything but awkward. It was charged with the weight of shared mourning, each of you navigating the complexity of a relationship's end.

You removed your finger, and in response, she grabbed your head gently, guiding it down towards her face, her eyes locked onto yours. Your lips barely grazed each other, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she could hear your rapid heartbeat. Hazel kissed you slowly at first, the touch of her lips sending a rush through your entire body. It quickly escalated, and there was a certain neediness to the way you both kissed, scared it could be the last time.

"Missed you," She whispered against your lips. Your mouths slid together, tongues pressing and exploring. The intensity of the kiss speaks volumes, like you were making up for lost time. Her lips found their way to your neck, leaving a trail of hot, lingering kisses, setting your body on fire. 

“Fuck, Hazel.” It was almost embarrassing how quickly you melted beneath her touch. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” You say, your voice strained, a soft moan escaping your lips. You very much wanted to be doing this, you just thought you should at least try to seem like you had stronger breakup morals than you did. Her hands found the curve of your ass, and you instinctively started to rock your hips slowly back and forth, seeking some much-needed friction. 

"Do you want me to stop? Say the word, and I'll stop, pretty girl," she murmured against your neck, her open-mouthed kisses and gentle suction on your pulse point sending shivers down your spine. You didn't reply with words, but your fingers found her hair, silently urging her to continue. "I need an answer, babygirl," 

"Don't stop," you breathed, your voice catching in your throat. "Please, don't stop." Your hips still lazily moving on her. Her mouth was back on yours, deepening the kiss as she guided you both down, her hands roaming over the back of your legs and your ass. She tugged at the hem of your shirt, helping you out of it and leaving you in your black lace bra.  

"So fucking perfect. Missed you so fucking much," she confessed, 

"I missed you too, Haze, every day," you whined, 

"You ever think about me? she asked, breathless. "About this?" she continued 

You nodded, your breath hitching as you confessed, "All the time. Couldn't stop thinking about you, your hands, your mouth."

Her eyes darken as you sit up and effortlessly unhook your bra, leaning back down, your lips finding their way to her collarbone, marking a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses along her skin. Your hands slowly creep their way up under her shirt, seeking permission. She nods, a silent affirmation, and you gently peel her shirt off over her head. Your stomach flips as you feel her arms effortlessly turn both of you over, trading places, landing on your back as she hovers over you. Her silver chain dangling above your face. It felt like your first time all over again, you felt a sense of shyness creeping over you under her gaze. Anticipation and excitement blooming in your chest.

“Fuck, look at you.” She says. The way she’s studying you makes you feel like the most beautiful thing to ever exist, as if every curve of your body is a masterpiece deserving of praise. Unable to contain your impatience, you pull her head down to meet your lips, your hips instinctively bucking up, frustration showing in the heated moment. Her fingers start to trail downwards under your skirt, meeting your clothed cunt. “You want me to fuck you? Hm?” She whispers in your ear, “Is that what you want baby?” She taunts, her fingers slowly grazing over your underwear. 

You nod vigorously, your enthusiasm evident. She responds by sucking on your neck again, sending shivers down your spine, your face flushed with heat. Your hands instinctively tug at her hair.

“Yes, Haze, please, fuck.” You arch your neck, pressing it firmly into the softness of the pillow beneath, a small gasp escaping your lips as you surrender to the moment. “Want your fingers inside of me.”

She makes a noise of desperation, her warm breath fanning over your face. “Gonna make you feel so good baby” She moves your underwear to the side, running her fingers through your slick folds. You gasp and she groans. “Wanna make it up to you.”

She tugs at the waistband of your skirt. You lift your hips as she guides it down along with your underwear. Hazel curses under her breath, “You’re so wet, it’s so fucking hot.” She plants kisses all over your chest, each one feeling like it could set you on fire. 

She slowly fucks you with her middle finger, the touch leaving you reeling. She adds her ring finger, her free hand snaking under your neck. Her fingers gently grab the side of your face while she fucks you, slightly tugging and grazing them against your parted lips. It's an intimate gesture, conveying both tenderness and desire.

Your hips buck up to meet her fingers. “Holy fuck” you groan as she pumps them faster into you. “Like that,” your voice is completely shot. Your entire body fizzed from the contact. You gently bite down on her fingers near your mouth while she places kisses all over your cheeks and your lips. Your head spun with thoughts of her - her mouth, her hair, her scent, Hazel was everywhere, all-encompassing. 

“Fuck, you’re so good” She half slurs, her voice wrecked, pupils blown and her lips parted. “So good for me.” She whispers, keeping her pace, dragging her digits through the wetness at your core.

Her mouth makes its way down your body, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses until she’s on her stomach between your thighs. Pumping faster, her lips suck at your clit. Her other hand presses down on your abdomen, holding you in place. You cup your aching tits, feeling them move with every motion she makes.

“Hazel,” you whine, “Haze, I-” Her fingers pick up the pace, curling inside of you. You tread your fingers through her hair, tugging slightly, the coil in your tummy growing tighter and tighter. 

“I know, honey, I know,” She says in response to your moans. “You sound so pretty baby, missed those sounds so much.” She keeps babbling, telling you how good you are and how pretty you look for her. 

“Fuck, don’t stop” you moan as she continues fucking you with her mouth and fingers, her pace alternating between teasing and fast, pushing you toward the edge. The contrast in her movements intensifies the pleasure, almost giving you want you want but flaking at the last moment, it’s torture.

“Shit, you’re almost there sweetheart” Hazel swears under her breath, voice laced with her own arousal. Her words drive you closer to the edge. You swear you can see stars as the overwhelming feeling shocks through your body. Your heart rate picks up immensley, pounding in your chest.

“Gonna come for me baby, yeah?” “Want you to come all over these fingers.” 

And you did. Your body clenches around her fingers, trembling, moans and curses spilling from your lips. Your eyes form with tears from the overstimulation. Her face landed in the crook of your neck, planting sloppy kisses and whispering reassurances as she guides you through the climax.

“Good girl, that’s it, honey. That’s it,” she murmurs.

Her fingers still slowly pumping in and out of you, riding out your high.

“Holy shit," you say once you've caught your breath. "Haze, c'mere." She lifts her head back up and you yank her face down to yours, tasting yourself on her lips as she lets out a soft moan. When you eventually pull away, both breathless, you lock eyes before bursting into disbelieving laughter.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” You whisper.

"I can," she says smugly. You playfully shove her before she collapses beside you. Both of you lie face to face, studying each other's features, committing them to memory, afraid you might forget what they look like. Her hand rests on your waist, mindlessly grazing up and down.

"What's the real reason you didn't come to the party? You ask. Were you with someone else?" Hazel shakes her head.

She pauses before speaking, "I thought if there was any chance of you being there, that I was gonna walk in and maybe see you with someone else. There was no way I could've handled that. I've been distracting myself with other girls, yeah, but..." Her voice trails off. "You have no idea how in love with you I still am." Her voice cracking with emotion. You can see a tear forming in Hazel’s eye, glimmering in the low light of the room.

“Hazel..” Your own voice slightly breaking. You reach out and drag your thumb delicately against her cheek, wiping the stray tear away. Your heart is breaking with a mixture of guilt and longing for the girl lying beside you.

“I still play pretend, in my head.” She whispers.

You smile, your hand resting on her neck, giving it a gentle squeeze, a signal of encouragement for her to keep going. 

“I picture us, living together in our apartment in the city.” 

Hazel was moving to New York City to work for her aunt after graduation. The reason you broke up, neither of you wanting to do long distance.

“Waking up next to you everyday, cooking you breakfast, fucking you on the countertop for hours” You both laugh at that. “Ever since I met you, I’ve always pictured you just being there. And these past few months…” 

“Absolute hell.” You finish for her. 

“Absolute hell.” She agrees. 

You take her hand and squeeze it, a silent form of reassurance. 

She shifts slightly and hovers over you again, brushing your damp hair off your forehead with her hand, and scans your face. “I don’t want this to end” she whispers. 

You wish you could capture this moment, tuck it away, and replay it whenever you wanted. You’ve been waiting for her to say these exact words for the past three months, you just never thought it would happen. The reason for your break-up still heavily taunts the back of your mind. 

“I love you” you reply, your voice barely a whisper. Taking her face in your hand and capturing her in another kiss. She kisses you sweetly and desperately.

You pull away, gently coaxing her back towards you, and cuddle her into your chest, assuming the role of the big spoon.

She nestles into your arms, finding comfort in the warmth of your body. With a soft sigh, she murmurs, "I wish we had more time.”

You tighten your hold around her, "We'll figure something out, I promise," you whisper, though you aren’t even sure of the reality of your own words. You choose to let go of the uncertainties, preferring to revel in the present moment. She looks back at you, and you kiss her forehead, a silent promise to cherish what you have, even if time feels fleeting.

“God damn full moon.” You mutter to yourself, remembering your earlier conversation at the party.

“What?” She asks.

“Nothing.” You say. “Don’t worry about it.” You kiss her shoulder, settling into the softness of the moment.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

tagging @astroph1les @vster0769

[neuroprincess]

Happy Birthday, mia Principessa! - Melissa Schemmenti/Female Reader

Melissa Schemmenti/Female Reader

Summary: Apparently your girlfriend forgot your birthday... Or maybe there is something waiting for you.

Classification: +18, Light angst, Fluff, Smut

Warnings: Swearing, rough sex, fingering, oral, mild overstimulation, dirty talk, sucking fingers (? idk I'm suck in tags)

Word count: +4300

@scarr0713 (late) happy birthday darling!!! hope you like it <3

Part One | Part Two

Unrevised

You practically throw the tupperware with your lunch on the table with a snort, the teachers around you just stare in confusion and Barbara chokes in fright, your long-term girlfriend doesn't even take her eyes off the phone where she reads some random sports news article, not even a little affected by the gesture as if she were in another world. She doesn't even notice when you throw yourself against the chair and stare at her angrily, your eyes meeting for a few seconds before she just gives a confused smile and goes back to reading the news article, as though she doesn't know what is wrong and doesn't care. It annoys you to death. How can Melissa Schemmenti, the biggest fan of commemorative dates and who has a fucking calendar in head, forget her own girlfriend's birthday? Coming from a large and lively family she has always proved to be an enthusiast for special dates and no holiday has been missed, even minor ones, even Jacob and Janine received warm hugs and a souvenir on their respective birthdays. All you wanted was at least a passionate kiss when you woke up and sweet words, but was strange to wake up without the redhead in bed wrapped around you under the blankets, for a moment, when you smelled the delicious smell coming from the kitchen, you thought getting a breakfast in bed like the year before, but the smile full of expectations soon disappeared when you realized that it wasn't coming, when you got to the kitchen found her quietly enjoying a cup of tea and sponge cake with jam. She just offered a plate and pancakes which she made in case you didn't want what she was eating. Breakfast was quick and awkward, it didn't help that you spent so much time in bed waiting for something that didn't happen, which led to a slight delay to work. But that didn't stop you from filling yourself with anticipation again, waiting for those words that would make your day happy.

- Mel, aren't you forgetting something? - the two of you are standing in front of the entrance as the woman locks the door, the day is particularly hot, hotter than it usually is, and even though wearing something lighter she feels the irritation of being exposed to the sun, fighting the sweat on the palms of the hands as she tries to make the key fit properly. Her cheeks flushed, you would think it cute and sexy if she wasn't irritating you by ignoring the question.

- What did you say, amore mio? - she asks, taking the key from the keyhole and between gasps smiles.

- Nothing, Melissa. - her name is emphasized by your lips, to let her know she is doing something wrong, but the hint is completely missed.

The woman just shrugged and you followed your normal routine, a drive to work together, it is much more economical and practical since you work at the same school, the schedules fit perfectly allowing you the luxury of being able to go and come back together almost every day. The short drive seemed to take hours, she drove this time, giving you plenty of time and concentration to imagine possibilities and expect something from her, maybe there was a bouquet of flowers waiting in the classroom, a card in some material in class, a different lunch prepared for you to enjoy with her. For months you talked about new recipes you should try together, new places you could visit. Trying to leave some hints of ways to celebrate for Melissa, but she seemed to ignore or simply forget, can't tell which is worse. Any expectation and hope you had left slowly faded as the morning passed, the table was full of small gifts like handwritten cards in their childish calligraphy, necklaces, friendship bracelets and even a pair of sunflowers in a colorful handmade vase but none of those had been given by Melissa. No hidden notes, no cute messages or stickers. Much less an apology. You take an extra minute waiting for her to show up at the door with a smile and shouting " Happy Birthday", the only people you found there were Janine, Jacob and Gregory congratulating you and giving you gifts. She gave you a book by a favorite author, respectively, one of the men gave you a personalized mug with a stamped picture of the two of you, and a plant to decorate the table. It was something very sweet and meaningful, because no matter how simple it could be each gift is special and important as they remembered things you like or mentioned at some point. And that is why you are very angry with the redhead.

- Melissa... - you call in a firm tone, finally getting her attention - Are you absolutely sure you haven't forgotten something? - and asks slowly, pausing between words.

- Hmm, no. - she puts her hand on the chin and seems to think, trying to rescue in the back of mind something she might have forgotten - My branzino!

And then she rushes off to check the refrigerator. You just snort in defeat and get the rare look of pity from Barb, she makes a mention to say something, but your expression stops her from continuing understanding that you want Melissa to remember by herself, without help from anyone else.

- Grazie, principessa! - she gives you a kiss on the cheek in thanks - I would have lost the branzino if it wasn't for you. - and strokes your hair, then goes back to eating the meal calmly, you give up trying to give hints, finally accepting that somehow your girlfriend forgot your birthday, all that's left is for you to deal with it.

The day passes slowly like a sharp torture instrument against your heart, every minute it hurts more and more as if a hole is opening in your chest, in it a huge pressure crushing you deeper and deeper. There is a mix of emotions, at the same time that you are sad and upset, to the point of having to dry some tears that came out of nowhere during the last class, you are equally angry, irritation bubbling up in the pit of the stomach, a cauldron of bad feelings ready to explode. In the late afternoon, as you watch the city pass by through the car window on your way home, all that is left is disappointment. You can't even look her in the eye, otherwise if faced with those two olive spheres you would burst into tears right then and there.

The houses and buildings you pass by are different from the usual, making you wonder when she changed the path or if she just turned the wrong street, which is almost impossible to happen, considering Melissa has the city in the palm of a hand, she knows every place, from the fanciest to where the guys she knows live. Soon you are passing through the suburb, the houses disappearing faster than they appeared, the green has taken over, trees, grass, lakes, this is certainly not the way home and you turn to her with a confused expression on face, the redhead just glances at you and opens an amused and mischievous smile, the same one she always gives when something is up.

- What? - you whisper, straightening yourself on the seat and looking around, trying to figure out where the hell you are - Where are we going?

- You'll see, amore mio. - she just blinks and keeps driving, paying attention to the road.

- You haven't forgotten, have you? - the only answer is a muffled laugh - Melissa Ann Schemmenti, I'm going to slap you! - you threaten in a thin scream, disbelieving that she has kept up this farce all day, Mel just lets out a mocking giggle as she deflects your hand.

Hearing the laughter dissipates all bad feelings and you don't even notice when you start laughing with her. Relief wash over your body dissipating the bad thoughts that were eating you up inside, the thin layer of tension created during the day fades quickly, completely taking away that painful pressure in your chest as you both laugh together. Knowing that she had indeed not forgotten was like a breath of fresh air that lifted your spirits, each laugh taking the anger, sadness and disappointment away. Joy and curiosity building, mostly curiosity, you should still talk about how doing what she did wasn't cool and how it made you feel, but the unknown path is really in your mind that is now filled with new expectations. And she doesn't seem to be willing to give you any answers until you reach the destination.

- No, silly girl, of course I'm not going to murder you. - Melissa laughs even louder when you question her trying to find out - Everyone saw me leaving with you in my car, I would be the first suspect.

- Hey!

- I'm just kidding, you know I would never hurt you, well, only when you ask me to. - the blushing runs down your cheeks and the tips of your ears, a normal reaction to your girlfriend's sexual provocations. - I'm just saying truths.

- So tell me one, where are we going? - you reply, it has been half an hour since you left Abbott Elementary and still in the car, driving further and further into the green, probably out of Philadelphia considering the weather and the countryside in sight.

- I'm kidnapping you, it would be unprofessional to let you know. - her hand reaches up to your thigh and squeezes gently, that delicate spot where she knows it's sensitive and your body immediately trembles under the touch, letting out an involuntary sigh - But I think you'll enjoy your weekend captivity.

She keeps her hand on your skin the rest of the ride, slowly creeping upward, it's warm and soft, at the same time firm, it makes your nerves tingle with desire. Melissa doesn't take her eyes off the wheel, attentive to the road, but you can notice a small smile on her fleshy lips every time your body reacts to a new inch conquered as she gradually approaches your intimacy. Not even air conditioning, turned on by the unbearably hot day, stops the heat rising, her teasing creating an exciting bubble, provocative torture.

- We arrived, my birthday girl.

She announces a few minutes after making a turn in the woods, after a trail embellished by tall and bountiful trees on both sides, you can feel the fresh air in your lungs and a light breeze against the face, the faint lights of the late afternoon sun still manage to penetrate between the leaves creating a mesmerizing image. Slowly a cabin appears in this landscape, located at the end of the road and surrounded by nature. The wooden structure is visually beautiful, the roof forms a triangle and reaches the ground on both sides, it has a beautiful veranda where there are chairs and padded benches positioned so that you can enjoy the view of the woods, the windows are large and there is a second floor that, as far as you can see, is lit up. It's beautiful, cozy, peaceful compared to your life in the city. A true private paradise.

- So, what's up? Did you like the view? - Melissa asks getting out of the car, with a satisfied smile at your dazzled look - It belongs to my mother's family, my cousins come here to enjoy the weekend once in a while.

- It's amazing! - you answer, looking around and trying to assimilate everything - I have never seen such a beautiful place! So we're going to spend the weekend here?! But I didn't bring any clothes.

- I asked Annette to take care of it, everything is inside. - she blinks and takes your hand, leading inside, your fingers intertwining while Melissa uses her thumb to caress your skin, trying to pass on some security - Are you still mad at me?

- Just a little bit. - with your free hand you signal, putting your thumb and forefinger together trying to show how much, this makes the woman smile, a glint in her eye staring at you, she can only think how cute you are - What? - the two of you stop in front of the door.

- I'm just contemplating how beautiful and amazing you are, and how lucky I am that you are my woman. - Melissa brings your hand to her lips and lovingly kisses it, without taking her eyes from yours. - Now, let's go inside before we miss the sunset.

On the inside the cabin looks even more comfortable, it is considerably spacious, not richly furnished but there are several decorations that give the place a personal touch, on the walls pictures of family trips, the nonnas, parents, cousins, Kristin Marie and even a copy of the iconic picture of her being slapped by your girlfriend. There is a staircase on the side that leads up to the second floor which is basically only 1/2 the length of the cabin, a wooden fence enclosing and on it a banner with perfectly painted letters in your favorite color, written "Happy Birthday, Y/N!"

- You really haven't forgotten. - you whisper, smiling broadly.

- Of course I haven't. - she wraps her hands around your waist and her head rests on the curve of the neck, where she deposits a soft kiss, breathing against the skin. There's that feeling again, you gasp when her lips rise and leave another kiss behind your ear - Come, later I'll introduce you to the cabin and show you each of the pictures.

- Okay, baby. - you turn and press your lips together in a quick kiss, Melissa's hands still gripping you tightly around the waist, pulling you to her in an attempt to deepen the contact - No, no, Miss Schemmenti. You don't deserve... yet.

- Hmm revengeful, I like that. But I kind of deserve it, I was a real bastard today.

You just nod in agreement and let go of her warm arms running towards the stairs, she follows you up those and doesn't miss the opportunity, as she reaches you near the last steps, to slap your ass, which hurts a little since she has a heavy hand, so she strokes the spot and squeezes it. She laughs and walks up the stairs behind you, and, when you reach the top, she stares at you trying to analyze your reaction. The idyllic setting is perfect for a romantic sunset, the room is lit by candles and a line of small lamps hanging on the wall like a tent, a large mattress is on the floor with an outstretched blanket decorated with pillows in warm tones. A small table beside it is decorated with heart-shaped candles and a small cake in the center. It is cozy and romantic.

- It's incredible! - you exclaim, amazed at such attention to detail and the beautiful sight, smiling from ear to ear, your eyes shining brighter than the candles that illuminate the room.

She comes closer and hugs you around the waist, with emotion in her voice because you liked it, she whispers: - I wanted to surprise you.

- And you succeeded, even too much.

She leads you to the large window, sitting you carefully on the rug, pillows behind you, and pulls the little table with the cake between you. A sparkling candle is placed in the middle of the frosting, you stare at each other for a few seconds before she lights it.

- Make a wish, amore mio. - the redhead hums.

When you close the eyes can feel the sun beating against the face, hear clearly the sound of the trees shaking and the birds gathering. You take a deep breath, feeling the pure air entering and leaving your body, the scent of the candles, Melissa's usual perfume fills your nostrils and makes you smile. Then open your eyes, it's so beautiful, so perfect, everything seems right at this moment, the sun is setting in a sky tinged with orange, pink and gold, small rays of sunlight disappearing behind the trees. Melissa by your side. At this moment your heart fills with joy, along with the feeling of being loved and appreciated enveloping you. It's as if everything around you is a work of art, and Melissa is your greatest gift, the best you could ever get for your birthday. You feel fulfilled, at peace, at home with her. Concentrating, you close the eyes again, take a deep breath before blowing out the candle, mentalizing your wish while the disappearing sparks take you with it. When you finish, open your eyes and turn to Melissa, smiling with the feeling of duty done. She watches you with a gentle gaze, a sweet smile, and she leans over, setting the table aside, kissing your forehead.

- Happy birthday, principessa! - her voice is so sexy speaking Italian, it accentuates all the things that turn you on about her, and you pull her by the neck to come closer - So now I deserve a decent kiss? - Melissa teases in a whisper, moving even closer so that she is close to your ear, grazing teeth on the lobe and nibbling.

She pulls you around the waist and hugs you tightly, their bodies very close together, feeling each other's heavy breathing. Your lips meet and she responds with a low moan, opening and exploring your mouth with her tongue in precise movements, the kiss deep and slow. Her hands move up, one caresses your face and the other moves down to below your boobs, caressing the skin covered by the blouse. Her fingertips make a ghost trail on your skin, lips open and you sigh loudly when you feel her hand squeeze the breast. Fingers creep up to the neckline, unbuttoning the first button, it becomes somewhat difficult when she doesn't want to separate from you, so in one quick and strong motion she pulls the fabric down, the buttons falling to your knees opening the blouse, leaving you exposed. Boobs showing, perfectly accessible to the teacher's greedy hands, she squeezes both of them hard and lets her nails scrape across the sensitive skin.

- Well, this is much more fun. - she murmurs as you separate to slip her blouse over the head, while you unbutton your jeans the woman throws her own clothes away and pushes you against the pillows, practically ripping the pants off your body in a hurry, thirsty - You really were hoping for something, weren't you?! - Melissa refers to the matching lingerie you wear.

- I've been waiting for a certain redhead to destroy this. - you whisper provocatively and stretch your legs out so that you're exposed to her, taking a deep breath trying to maintain some self-control as you watch her bite the lips and stare at your pussy with pure lust in the eyes - And this. - and slowly runs a finger between legs, staring up at her.

Melissa just smiles mischievously and places one of the legs between yours, feeling the dripping arousal and lowers the face down to be close to yours, giving a slow kiss that ends with your upper lip caught between her teeth. This draws a sigh and, even with all the self-confidence of a minute earlier, makes you blush too. She leans in leaving a trail of kisses from neck to navel, lifting her gaze to stare at you, those light eyes are seductive and full of desire that make you shiver in anticipation. The teacher laughs before sucking on the soft skin, continuing on the trail, this time marking the skin with hickeys and small bites. When she reaches the mound of Venus scrape the lips near the panty mark where you can feel the hot breath, her hands push your legs open even further and find themselves squeezing the back of your thighs, then Melissa clips the fabric between the teeth. You gasp as you feel it being pulled away.

- You're so wet that you're making my job difficult, principessa. - she murmurs and carelessly pulls the fabric over the side, really destroying the panties with the force she uses, leaving it in shreds. You stare at her in disbelief - Remember, you're the one who caused it.

- Fuck...

She smiles and leans back where she was before, standing over your now naked and fully exposed pussy, Melissa admires how aroused you are, feeling the heat and wetness dripping between the legs, there is a satisfaction in seeing the mess she has made in your intimacy, just enjoying this sight of the gods. Your body trembles as her tongue touches you without warning, she sucks vigorously and nibbles lightly on the bundle of nerves, she is skillful and provocative as she intersperses sharp movements slowly penetrating you. Soon you are lost in delirium, the intense sensations and the heat taking over make your body completely surrendered to pleasure. Her hot and rough tongue explores your intimacy while the hands move up to your hips, digging her nails in to keep you in place, submissive to her touches. She squeezes hard and you moan, whimpering her name. Suddenly she inserts three fingers inside you, testing limits, it's not like you haven't done this before but there has always been preparation first, this way it's something new, a pleasurable sensation mixed with a little pain. Melissa barely lets you adjust to the stretching, starting to move steadily inside and smiles as she hears the whimpers as you try to deal with all the sensations running through your body.

- You're enjoying this, aren't you, principessa?! - she asks rhetorically as she increases the speed of the movements, hitting all the right spots inside you - Am I making you feel good? I know I am.

A scream escapes down your throat as she sucks you again, working fingers and tongue in a fast and strong rhythm, she continues to increase encouraged by your desperate moans for release. Soon the anxiety becomes unbearable, your pussy clenches on her fingers, a sign that you are close to cumming, normally this would stop the redhead and she would carefully work to bring you to climax, but now she uses all her strength to penetrate you harder and deeper, building to an orgasm unlike any you have had together before. The air is taken from your lungs for a second as a rough push makes your body shudder completely, an orgasm runs through every nerve and extremity, pure pleasure taking over to the point where it almost hurts with such intensity.

And God, it's worth when you're cumming in Melissa Schemmenti's mouth. Your body twitches with a wave of inexplicable pleasure as her lips and tongue continue to work without waiting for you to get over your first orgasm, fingers sliding out with difficulty as your walls tighten around her. Your hands grip the pillows above the head as you feel a twinge in your belly, knowing what is coming, another orgasm, a little painful yet much more pleasurable. The mind becomes cloudy, there is no coherent thought and everything seems too much your mind and it fades for a few seconds, losing consciousness. The world slowly fades away as you pass out, colors blur and golden lights slowly fade. Your body sweetens, heart speeds up, and mind disappears into a fog. You feel light, in a state of ecstasy, floating on an ocean of satisfaction. Your body relaxes before slowly coming back to consciousness to find Melissa staring at you with a proud smile on those sinful lips. All you want is kiss her again.

- Damn, I fucked you into unconsciousness. - Mel purrs, staring maliciously as she lies between your legs, bare skin against bare skin, eye to eye - Well, that was just the beginning, amore mio.

- Oh?

- As soon as you recover I'm going to fuck you so hard we'll find out if you're a secret squirt or not. It would be fucking sexy to see you wet the sheets. I'll make you moan and scream with pleasure to the point where you lose your voice. - she says with her voice low and husky, making your body tremble in a new wave of desire, lips close to yours, just when you think the teacher is about to start another kiss her wet fingers slide into your mouth, so you can taste your own cum - Suck it, principessa. - you obey and she gasps in delight watching the scene - And I may or may not have a bag full of toys in the trunk... That strapon we saw on a site last month.

Her fingers come out of your mouth gently and she sucks on them, tasting the fluids there with pleasure. It's a sinful scene to watch, a pornographic torture to see her like this, with messy hair, flushed face and chest, sweat dripping down her forehead and lips reddened and moist.

- No way.

- All for my woman. - Melissa whispers, giving a quick kiss, then strokes your face - This is gonna be the best birthday you've ever had, at least in a sexual way. I'm going to fuck you like never before and give all the pleasure you deserve, make up for today. I promise you.

And by the look on her face you are sure that she means it and believes every word the redhead says, also being aware that you probably won't be able to walk straight Monday after a weekend with this version of Melissa.

- Happy birthday, mia principessa!

[pinkcannibal]

Are you comfortable writing a breeding/heat kink fic, by chance? Maybe a fem!student reader is some type of supernatural creature that experiences heat cycles that's triggered by the touch of a viable mate which happens to be Marilyn Thornhill who she has a massive crush on. Perhaps the reader gets permission to opt out of her classes because of her heat but feeling restless one night, reader goes out to Professor Thornhill's classroom when she thinks Marilyn won't be there to just soak in her mate's scent and presence but Marilyn walks in because she's feeling restless with worry for reader who has been exempt from classes because of some mysterious "illness" that no one will tell her what it is and the reader wouldn't answer the dorm room door when she went to check on her and she's just so worried but she sees the panicked reader just standing there in her classroom and she runs straight to her. And smut occurs.

If you're not comfortable writing this, it's totally ok! Just love your soft mommy!dom Marilyn Thornhill x desperate needy reader fics!

a/n ill be real with you this is my magnum opus. this is my first time writing heat cycles or anything alluding to breeding kink so be pls be kind im learning skdksd but its helping me flex my writing muscles. thanks for the request! hope you like! feedback means the world to me btw <3

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title: soul-bound

pairings: marilyn thornhill x reader, (werewolf!femreader)

tw/warnings: heavy smut, heat cycles, soulmate dynamic, fingering, face riding, marking, slight breeding kink, praise kink, slight use of 'puppy' as a petname, slight strap idolisation, soft!dom marilyn thornhill, bottom!reader

word count: 5,180

-

Your heat cycle comes two weeks earlier than planned, and it throws you out of equilibrium almost immediately, so jarring and intense that when you wake up and turn in bed, shifting beneath the sheets; you gasp at the realisation. 

God, and you should be used to it by now, this comes with the territory of who you are. Werewolf heat cycles are so common at Nevermore there’s an entire sex-ed class about it, but jesus fuck does yours like to be irregular about it- and you can already tell it’s going to be intense.  

You sit up in bed, face flush at how your heart rate picks up and your stomach warms and your thighs press together – how when you breathe in everything is so fucking heightened its overwhelming.  

You can smell the trees outside, Yoko’s perfume on her clothes, the shower drain, the cool Summer air, the wooden floors of your dorm, the- 

Oh God. Fuck. Is that...? 

You're helpless to the whimper that comes out of you. 

You totally forgot Miss Thornhill visited you yesterday, gifting you another one of her plants with that knee weakening smile and adorable scrunch of her nose. An iris this time, purple and freshly tended to. You have to clamp your palm over your mouth and nose, because Marilyn’s scent is everywhere around it.  

It has you shutting your eyes, a whine begging to cry from your lips and it’s making you needy in a way you’ve never felt before, just her smell enough for you to feel that familiar submissive haze blanket your brain.  

Your eyes water, because there’s a particular type of cruel torture in having a mate you can never touch, or taste, or please. You need Marilyn’s approval, her hands, her voice; to fill every part of you until you feel whole again. And having that just out of reach? It makes you feel...fuck it makes you feel incomplete.  

You suddenly remember that time Enid confided in you about Wednesday, how being so close yet so far away from someone hurts. 

“It sucks knowing you’ll be a lone wolf forever. Trust me, I know.” 

You don’t realise how fast your breathing is, close to a pathetic type of pant, until your alarm goes off and you startle.  

You’re suddenly thankful Yoko has left already, you can’t imagine how awkward it would be to have a vampire witness this. How desperate you are, how just at the thought of Miss Thornhill has pheromones bleeding from you, something not even the strongest wolf could ignore.  

Jesus, you may as well have a neon sign pointed to your heart saying I need my mate to breed me so bad it’s pathetic. 

You decide right then and there, going to Marilyn’s class would be a death wish, you’d probably drop to your knees as soon as you saw her with your mouth open, begging for her fingers with wide doe eyes as you squirmed. And she’d look at you, she’d be so tender when she makes love to you and fucks you and tells you “You’re so pretty, sweet girl. Such a pretty pup for me, aren’t you?” 

Oh, god.  

The thought has slick rushing to your centre, and you blush so hard at the idea that you have to physically stop yourself from shaking. You whine, immediately grabbing your phone and opening your school emails. You submit a form to Principle Weems, explaining your situation as quickly as possible because your hands are sweating and shaking.  

As always, she’s incredibly understanding, receiving these kinds of forms every so often. You’re exempt from classes for the week duration of the cycle, and just knowing you still have five days of this is fucking torture.  

You know you can’t have the full satisfaction of Marilyn looking after you, breeding you (that thought makes you even wetter as you throb) but it’s worse to know you can’t even nest and ride out the wave of it in your mate's scent. You have nothing of Miss Thornhill’s besides the flower, and sometimes thoughts like these make you flush with shame. 

She doesn’t even know you feel this way, or that she is this to you. And fuck, would she even want you? Accept you? You can’t think of anything worse as a werewolf than the rejection from a mate, what do you do if presented with that? Who are you without them?  

Because sometimes you swear Miss Thornhill recognises the compatibility, you swear her head tilts and she breathes you subtly in when you smile at her and tuck your hair behind your ear. How she softens when you’re near, how sometimes when she passes by your desk and leans down to you, her hand finds your lower back protectively, like in her own way she was telling everyone in your life you’re hers. 

One time, you bumped into her at Jericho and she fixed her glasses and when she noticed it was you, she beamed, and you honest to god swooned at how happy she was to see you. And Marilyn’s hand squeezed your bicep in greeting, a little too intensely to be normal, and your eyes glazed over in utter devotion. 

The thoughts make you feel small, like you could cry, so you curl back under your covers and try and hang onto the lingering trace of her on the iris, squeezing your eyes shut with need. 

- 

It becomes downright unbearable on day three.  

Three days is all you could hack, it’s almost as if you’ve come down with a fever; you’re hot and feverish and panting, almost fucking bed ridden because of how bad it is. Having a mate who hasn’t claimed you is maddening, and you’re realising very quickly you don’t know how you’re going to survive more of this.  

Yoko couldn’t stay for long, opting to room with Divina for the week. You toss and turn and groan into the sheets, slamming your fists down against your mattress and feeling tears burn the back of your eyelids because you dreamt Marilyn kissed you, bit down on the space between your neck and shoulder and covered you in her scent.  

You can’t take it anymore.  

You get up, tossing on a sleep shirt and shorts hastily over your bralette and underwear. You blush, knowing this is pathetic and sad but maybe, just maybe, if you walk into her classroom it’ll help. Because the iris doesn’t do it anymore and you need something stronger, the submissive part of your werewolf brain is constantly just howling in need now.  

It’s almost midnight, and you hope with all of your heart her room is unlocked. 

When you make it to the conservatory, you try the handle and sigh in relief at it opening. You don’t have long to dwell on how pathetic you feel, because- 

The wave of calm that hits you takes your breath away. You stumble a little, catching yourself on a nearby desk and closing your eyes on a groan; you breathe in deep, the scent of Miss Thornhill overwhelms you, has your knees weak and heart beating from your chest. Fluttering your eyes open, you walk further in, to her desk and you bite your lip because her green coat is just there on her chair. 

You swallow thickly at how it all immediately has your chest yearning for her, when you reach out and grab the fabric you allow yourself a moment to feel guilty, and embarrassed, blushing the whole way down to your neck.  

Then you bring it up to your nose and inhale and- 

You whine, high pitched and like siren call.  

You shut your eyes immediately at everything of her flooding your senses. She smells earthy, like her plants and rain, but there is something underneath it that is so sweet; so distinct to the smell of a bonded mate. Marilyn’s is like liquorice, black liquorice, it’s heady and warm and makes you want to be good. The slick that gathers between your thighs is immediate, has you flushing with need and shifting on the spot.  

The switch is instant, and you realise fuck, oh god, maybe coming here wasn’t as smart as you thought.  

You drop into subspace like an anvil, scrunching up her coat in your fingers and closer against your nose and you collapse against her desk, leaning back against it. You’re shivering, you know, because your wolf is begging to be claimed, to be bred, to be looked after and held and marked by your mate. 

You don’t get a moment to calm it down before the conservatory doors open again.  

You startle, looking up, you lower the coat from your mouth and nose and have two seconds to register just who walked in.  

Marilyn shuts the door behind her, and you blush red across your cheeks caught like a deer in headlights when she turns.  

You have to hold yourself up on her desk with your free hand because now that she’s here you can’t- oh god you can’t breathe. And your body feels like it’s going to melt into the floor.  

The other woman jumps a little too, not expecting anyone as she places her hand to her chest and breathes out, shutting her eyes briefly.  

“God, you startled me, sweetie.” Marilyn chuckles slightly, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. It’s awfully late, why are you-” 

But Miss Thornhill’s gaze immediately shifts to concern, because your eyes are watering at her just being near you. The other woman mistakes your flushed cheeks and shaking body for fear, and it’s almost instant how she parts her lips in worry and rushes to you.  

You gasp, widening your eyes and pressing closer to the desk. You bite your lip to stop the desperate whimper wanting to escape. She takes your biceps in her hands, squeezes softly, and Marilyn ducks her head slightly and her hazel eyes are saying talk to me, please, and you are powerless to whatever she wants from you in this state.  

“Oh, dear. Honey.” She begins carefully, and you swoon at how protective she sounds. Marilyn reaches up and tucks a stray piece of your hair behind your ear and it opens the floodgates, you swallow thickly and choke as you try and speak.  

She’s so close. Any closer and you’re going to fall to your knees. Marilyn then briefly fixes her glasses in a rare display of bashfulness. “I just, well. I got so worried when you didn’t show up for class. It’s very uncharacteristic of you. Are you...are you okay?” 

“I-” You part your lips to answer, voice cracking on your desperation. Marilyn notices your reaction, softening.  

“I just, I’m s-sorry, I came here looking for you because, I...” You flounder for an excuse, and it’s then Miss Thornhill notices her coat clutched against your stomach.  

You flush, following her gaze as she parts her lips in surprise.  

Miss Thornhill softens, laughing lightly as she fixes her glasses. “You came here to steal my jacket?”  

Marilyn teases, and it breaks the tension a little but all it does is make you feel mortified, so you duck your head and stutter, trying not to whimper as you shove her coat into her hands and move to leave.  

Miss Thornhill blinks in surprise to you at the action, you’ve never dismissed her so easily, and she frowns instantly in concern as she places her jacket on her desk.  

“Please, just-” You don’t know what you’re trying to say, she’s just so close and you need her.  

“I'm okay. I promise. I need to go, I-” Your voice cracks, because your heat is flaring at her proximity and how her protective concern is making it worse. You turn to leave, but her warm hand is taking you by the bicep and halting you softly. 

You whimper, tugging as tears spring to your eyes in your desperation. “Marilyn, please I-” 

“Sweetheart,” She starts, shaking her head softly in confusion.

“What’s wrong? Tell me. Let me help.” Marilyn pleads softly, and you sink, deeper and deeper into where you yearn to be.  

“You’re shaking.” The other woman breathes out, eyes so caring as she then pulls you closer and back to her; then she tips over the line between you and you fall. 

Because she brings you into a hug, and you gasp so hard when her arms wrap around you and you feel her chest press up against yours; and your nose is shoved into her neck, red hair spilling all around you.

Her scent is overwhelming, and you don’t have any strength left in you, none at all as you breathe in deep, circle your arms around her too, and moan softly into her skin. 

Your senses pick up how her breath hitches, how blood rushes to her cheeks at the sound. She pulls back, and you feel your stomach flip at how her hazel eyes have darkened. Her lips part, like she was weighing what to say.  

“Honey,” Marilyn starts, and there’s this tone in her voice you can’t say no to. It has your eyes flickering to her lips, desperate and doe eyed. “I need you to tell me what’s wrong, okay? Can you do that for me?” 

Yes, you think. Yes, I’ll do anything for you.  

Before you can think better of it, the words spring from your lips at her gentle, warning command.  

“M’in heat.” You slur, throat bobbing as you shyly look to her neck instead of her eyes because as much as your inner wolf wants to do what Marilyn says, you’re heating up in shame and embarrassment.  

Marilyn’s eyes narrow in confusion. “You’re in...?”  

Then, her expression eases into realisation. “Oh.” 

You shut your eyes briefly, reopening them and seeing her toss a questioning look to her coat on her desk. “But you were...with my...?”

You watch Miss Thornhill put the pieces together in her mind, how it slowly dawns on her and you almost start begging for her, because Marilyn softens into this sympathetic look, breathing out an “Oh, sweet girl.” that you swallow thickly at.  

Then her hand cups your cheek, and you deflate with need, nuzzle into her palm with a mewl. Your head goes foggy with arousal, your heat is flaring and flaring you’re drenched with slick at this point as you look up, and Marilyn’s eyes are so warm and dark and enraptured, for you.  

You have no idea how you got here, how this is real; but you aren’t questioning it, you aren’t running away from this, ever. 

“I’m sorry,” You say, voice cracking in places. “I know it shouldn’t be you but it is and I can’t-I couldn’t do anything about it.” You say.  

“I need you,” You whine out, desperate and a little pleading. “I need you and it hurts Mari, please. Please.” 

“God,” The other woman breathes out, and you can hear how fast her heart beat is, how her eyes dilate and how Marilyn’s scent changes all together. It’s so musky, sweet and alluring, you want to be covered in it.  

Her hand falls to your hips, thumbs riding up a little underneath your sleep shirt and you’re suddenly hyper aware how short your shorts are, because when she moves forwards you feel the material of her jumpsuit rub against your thighs, how the top buttons of her blouse are open baring warm, pale skin. You gasp softly as she traps you against her desk. 

“You’re in heat...for me?” She says, like she needed clarification, to know that if she kisses you how far it’ll go.  

And you almost buckle at how gravelly her voice has dipped. You nod, fingers white knuckling on the edge of her desk behind you.  

“You.” Is what you breathe out in confirmation, voice shaking. There’s no one else. You want to say. It’ll only ever be you.  

Miss Thornhill bites her bottom lip lightly, tilting her head, and your eyes zero in on the movement.  

“Do you need me to look after you, baby?” Marilyn asks, and fuck, it’s all degrading and soft and kind and you want her to always call you these names. You whine, almost breaking your neck with how fast you nod.  

“Yes, please. Please.” You beg, you’re way past caring how whiny you sound. Your brain is just flooded with breed me, I’m yours. Only yours. And you know she’s only human and that’s another cruel twist of fate for you, but you don’t care. It’ll be enough. She’s enough. 

As if reading your mind, Marilyn's fingers at your hips dip into the waistband of your shorts, playing with the hem as she sits patiently and waits for your consent. “What will help? Tell me how you need me, sweetie.” 

Your desperate eyes flick down to her lips.

“K-Kiss me,” You say, barely above a whisper, and before you can beg her and get on your knees just for her to touch you, Miss Thornhill softens, leaning close and taking your lips in hers.  

It’s fucking fireworks, something inside of you just, clicks into place. You immediately reach up, grabbing for a lifeline, fisting her red hair in your hands and she groans. Her tongue is inside your mouth before you can gasp, and she tastes exactly how she smells; that sweet earthy scent you gulp down.  

You deepen it, pulling her so close your hips knock and it's so hungry because you’re throbbing, you think you might die if she doesn’t fuck you right now.  

You buck, push your body closer, Marilyn’s breath is hitching and she’s making these soft noises that your werewolf preens at.  

You’re feverish and slick and you don’t even think when you grab for her hand at your hip, urging her beneath the waistband of your shorts with this desperate grunt, that turns into a mewl as Marilyn breaks the kiss and breathes against your lips.  

“Fuck,” You watch her throat bob, an unrestrained desire in her brown eyes with how you whine for her, force her inside you and- 

You buckle forwards, resting your forehead on her shoulder as you gasp, shut your eyes in pure euphoria as she enters you with two fingers, slipping so easily inside your slick that the sensation makes Marilyn gasp.  

You clutch to her shoulders, moaning into her neck, and the constant anxiety from your heat is melting away in your mates' arms, you feel so right and full and you need more, you know she can’t knot you but the thought is enough to make you sink on her fingers harder, making Miss Thornhill whimper. 

“J-Jesus, baby,” She moans, high pitched as she curls her fingers inside you, forearm straining with the effort.  

“You’re so wet. This is all for me?” She asks, in awe, like she couldn’t believe you’re real. 

When you look up, you nod, panting as you ride her. As the desk keeps squeaking with her thrusts. As you gulp down her scent mixing with yours and then you pick up on the thick, overwhelming scent of her arousal and your entire body shakes.  

You hold to her forearm, just to feel the muscles flexing with her effort, and it makes you soak her fingers even more when you feel the definition under your fingers from where her sleeves are rolled up.  

Then she’s gently urging you harder against the desk, enough that you hop up onto the edge so she can slot between your spread legs. The new angle has you gasping, eyes watering in arousal.  

“Mari,” You whine out, slurred and hazy. Marilyn is enamoured by you, not slowing down her thrusts as you near your peak; her thumb rubs deep and hard at your hardened clit, enough for you to see stars but you can’t come. You don’t have your dominant’s permission. You can’t until she marks you until she scents you in her own way.  

She kisses you again, making you chase her lips when she pulls back to speak.  

“Oh, sweetheart,” She moans. “What do you need? I’m here. Tell me.” Marilyn says, as desperate as you are for you to come.  

Her lips part, eyes suddenly vulnerable as she fucks you. “This...this is new for me too.” She admits, and you whimper lightly as you cup her cheek and buck against her fingers. “Is this enough? Do you need more, baby? Is that it?” 

You nod, hard and fast, it makes her soften as you gasp out. “M-More. Deeper too, please.” 

Then, Marilyn’s adding a third finger and your eyes roll to the back of your head.  

The guttural moan that leaves you shocks you, has Miss Thornhill whimpering against your ear. You fall forwards again, needing to rub to her neck and scent her skin. You slur into her neck that ‘More, s’good, feels, fuck-” and Marilyn’s heart beat is loud beneath her neck.  

You’re so close, you’re so close but you know you’re missing that one thing you need. Pulling back, doe eyed and needy, you shyly pant against her lips.  

“Mari. Mari. N-Need you to-” Your breath hitches, because Marilyn curls impossibly deeper and has you seeing white.  

“I need you to mark me.” You rush out, breathless and dripping down her fingers as you swallow thickly and wait for her reply.  

Marilyn opens her mouth in shock, eyes blinking back to you beneath her glasses. You whine, because she’s slowed down at your words and she’s blushing and you’re so, so in love with her.  

“Darling, but-” She shakes her head softly, sending you a tender, searching look. “I thought that was for- but I’m not your...” 

Mate. 

You bite your lip, shuffling closer and grinding against her fingers almost to make a point and Marilyn shuts her eyes on a tiny moan when you kiss her again, breathe against her mouth that- 

“You are.” You say, and the truth of that statement has this needy noise leave your lips. “You are and I-” You swallow, watch Marilyn’s hazel eyes shine back to you in both shock, love, and adoration.  

“I need you to mark me. Make me come. Make me yours.” You plead, and the other woman is kissing you again with a fever that you gasp at.  

Her soft, deep thrusts start again and her lips trail from your mouth to your neck and you bare it to her on instinct, tendon tight against the skin of your neck and you feel Marilyn softly, tenderly, kiss down the area to where she pulls the neckline of your shirt away, exposing your collarbone as she fucks you against her desk and you suddenly want to cry at the display.  

And then- 

Marilyn’s teeth sink into your skin, at the area where your shoulder meets your neck. Her canines bite down on the muscle and you moan so deep it turns into a sob. You clutch to her back, her claim so sudden and raw and overwhelming that your heart thuds, hard and fast in your chest for her. You don’t know if she knows how much this is for you, how sacred it is for a werewolf. 

You suddenly want even more of her, an impossible amount, you want her knot or her fingers in your mouth or her strap. 

“Oh, god-” You moan out, tears springing to your eyes at the pleasure and the pain and the feeling flooding you. You feel Miss Thornhill pull back in worry, stuttering in concern, like she hurt you.  

“Fuck, baby, I’m sorry. Was that-?” 

“No!” You rush out to say, desperate to have her teeth back where she was.  

“A-Again,” You shyly say, watching Marilyn’s eyes darken and her lips part in surprise. “Want it again, please, don’t stop. It’s so good. Feels-” 

Marilyn groans, thigh meeting the thrusts of her hands to fuck you harder and you rock faster against the sensation, choking on a high-pitched whimper. Her tone drops, head tilted as she takes the sight of you in, like she was devouring you.  

“Feels what, puppy?” She says innocently, and that word makes you sink, speechless as the subspace takes you over.  

“Oh,” Marilyn softens, degrading and gentle all the same. Her eyes glint back to you, gloating in this new found reaction. “You like it when I call you puppy, sweet girl?” She mocks. 

You start to sob, so close to coming it’s hurting. You nod, biting your lip and feeling her hit so deep it takes the breath from your lungs. Marilyn presses ever closer, kissing you and tasting your tongue and biting hard to your bottom lip. 

“Come for me, puppy.” She moans, breathless at the sight of you. “Come all over my fingers, now honey.” Marilyn demands. “Come for me like the good girl you are.” 

It crashes into you, gushing onto her fingers as your orgasm takes over. The slick dripping down your thighs and her fingers is thick and heady, you moan and mewl into her neck, feel your walls clench around her and your claiming bite burns and throbs. 

She tenderly helps you ride it out, hushing you sweetly as you pant into her neck and nuzzle into her sweat slicked skin. You clutch her so close, nose the area, bathing in her scent and smiling so wide at the feeling and fuck, before you realise it your throat rumbles on a purr.  

You’re purring. 

You blush, hoping she didn’t notice, and relax in relief when Marilyn simply kisses the side of your head, down to your cheek, and your lips and jawline. Her thrusts slow down, pulling out and making your breath hitch.  

“You okay?” She gently murmurs, making you pull back and soften.  

You nod, breathing out, lovestruck and dizzy as you smile shyly, huff on a laugh. “Y-Yeah. More than okay. Perfect.” 

Marilyn’s eyes warm, lips quirking up on this tender smile aimed at you and suddenly you want to make her feel good, that part of you made only for the other woman yearns for it. You shift on her desk at the instant need, and Marilyn takes that as a sign that you want her fingers taken out.  

She furrows her brows, softly apologises, slowly pulling out and you whimper at not feeling filled by her anymore. Then you glance down and see her fingers coated in your slick, your heat, and your throat croaks on a whine as you look to them needily.  

Marilyn tilts her head at your reaction, blushing when she realises what you want.  

“Fuck, you want my fingers, sweetie?” She asks, voice husky and dipped in arousal. You nod, not even thinking twice as you obediently open your mouth for her fingers coated in your cum, eyes looking up to her beneath your wet eyelashes.  

Your doe eyed look has the other woman’s heart beat pick up, and as Miss Thornhill rests two of her fingers at your bottom lip, pulling it down gently, her eyes are an inky blackness. Your tongue darts out to taste yourself, eyes closing on a groan as you lean forwards and take them fully in your mouth.  

You wrap your lips around her digits, sucking and moaning in ecstasy and it has you throbbing again when you open your eyes, see the effect of you deep throating Marilyn’s fingers has on her. She starts to pump softly, completely and utterly enraptured by you and when you choke lightly, eyes watering, it breaks something inside of you.  

You let go of her fingers with a moan and hop down from the desk, flipping your bodies as Marilyn gasps and blinks in surprise to you. She steadies herself on the edge of it, palms clenching the wood between her fingers. 

“Darling girl, what are y-” 

Then you sink to your knees and Marilyn parts her lips, breath hitching at the sight. You look up to her, leaning back on your haunches and biting your lip in need. You can’t even wait for permission, just immediately unbuckling her belt around the jumpsuit and reaching up to her hips.  

Marilyn moans softly at the sight, lets you unbutton it down, down, until she shrugs out of the top half and it’s pooling at her mid-thigh; and her chest is heaving against the restraints of her black bra.   The plane of her stomach rises and falls with her breaths, the soft skin of her lightly defined abs is so alluring, you want to lick and bite and suck at the swell of her ribcage.  

She shyly fixes her glasses and shifts on the spot, hand coming down to run through your hair softly and you suddenly want to make her feel as loved as you do.  

The smell of her arousal has you whimpering, has you just losing all sense of control as you press forwards, pulling down the waistband of her underwear that are soaked; tongue darting out to taste her as Marilyn gasps. The other woman chokes on this moan, fist tightening in your hair making you mewl into her as she rides your face.  

You suck her clit, moan when she startles at the sensation and bucks harder into you and your hands come to her thighs, holding her in place against your mouth and tongue.  

“Oh my god,” Miss Thornhill pants out, when you chance a look at her, eye lids fluttering open briefly, you see the defined angle of her jawline as she tilts her head back and her throat bobs. 

“Baby, you-” Her words break off into a needy whine, head tilting back down as she watches you go down on her. “There, right there, don’t stop. That’s it. Jesus, such a good girl.” 

The praise has you preening, a little dumbed down and blushing as you work your mouth harder against her. Here, you think of wanting her strap, and almost come at the thought of sucking the length and taking her like this – you wonder if she’d come at the sight of your lips wrapped around her cock. 

Marilyn tastes so good, you want to always be drenched in this, down to your chin and neck, like you are now.  

Then, her hand in your hair tugs, fisting, and she suddenly comes against your mouth with a breathless gasp, your name on her lips moaned over and over.  

You swallow her, moaning at the taste, and you pull back when she urges you to with her hand in your hair. You obediently sit back, still kneeling, looking up to your mate with starry eyes and her come on your lips and Marilyn’s chest rises and falls; like she realises just exactly what you both have started.  

Then she pulls you up to her, a little desperately, and kisses you; her warm tongue is in your mouth and both of your arousals mingle together in the kiss.  

It tastes like ambrosia, like honey, something you’ve been needing, searching for, your whole fucking life.  

-

[ultimatebasilkin]

Falling the hard way.

[ Spencer reid x reader ]

WARNINGS: lots of mentions of anorexia, overexhaustion, professor - student relationship, sickly thin reader

note: this is how i cope, if you feel triggered by any of these please dont read. also, i am in no way trying to romanticise eating disorders.

Summary: when you joined university, you thought it would be different than highschool, but you were wrong. The bullying stayed, making you relapse anorexia. Dr. Spencer Reid’s eyes worryingly go after you everywhere.

[READERS POV]

Another semester is ahead of me, today is the first day of new beginnings. You already went there for a year or so, but this time everything changed. As I pulled the clothes on my slim body, with coffee in hand, I left my apartment. Everyone was treating me differently since I lost a lot of weight.

Some with fascination, some with frustration, but non with worry. Until this day. First lesson for the day was criminology, so I rushed to the room filled with some students already. All that hurry made me really dizzy, so after finding my seat, I took some more sips from my iced americano. I left it in the fridge yesterday, it was still good thought. When an unknown middle aged man walked into the room, my eyes widened. Who is this dude, and where’s our old teacher? She wasn’t that tempting as this fine man was.

- Good morning Students! My name is Dr. Spencer Reid. As you might know, unfortunately Dr. Flamming died yesterday. - He sighed, then look around a bit. We locked eyes for a moment, and it almost made me as dizzy as pe classes did back in highscool. His beautiful hazel brown eyes struck into me like lighting, leaving me scarred for the rest of my life. I can’t have him. First of all, he’s my professor, second of all, he’s like fourty- and last but not least: I’m fucked up. I wouldn’t be able to recover if somebody was watching over me, waiting to fatten me up so they can make fun of me. I have to do this on my own.

He started teaching, this time we talked about trigger. How criminals get sucked into, and destroy their life for something that happened to them. I have been only bad with myself, so no jail for me. Maybe the mental hospital would be a good idea, but I’m not even sick enough for that..Will I ever be?

I saw the girls, even some boys were already amazed by Dr. Reid. No way I would ever have a chance with someone like him.

I stood up way too fast, when the class was over. I wanted to go out for a cigarette, so I can clear my head. Ruining my plans, my vision went blurry, and my stick legs gave up their duty. I fainted, like on those stupid eating disorder movies. How lame, I should know fucking better then this.

I woke up in a hospital, which already made me panic big time. I wanted to leave, but someone prevented me from doing so. I thought it was a nurse, but no. It was my criminology professor.

- Hey! Go easy now. You have to stay here. You are severely malnourished, but I think you are aware of that fact too. - He sighed, and soon a nurse came in too with…food.

- No thank you, I’m not hungry! I’m curious about when can I leave? - I said, sitting cross legged on the cheap bed.

- You can either have this meal young lady, or you can have the tubes again. - It’s the same nurse as five years ago. I hate my luck. I saw Dr. Reid was worried, so I took the plate. - Thanks. This was just a tiny slip up, I promise. I’m way better! - I said to the woman working here. She sent me a disbelieving scoff, and left the room.

- What a bitch. - I muttered, and picked up the plastic fork. Usually they give silver ones, but they know me already. Once I tried to attack a nurse who was trying to force feed me.

- She is just worried. We all are. - He started at me, volunteeringly watching me eat. - Do you want some help? I know it’s hard to get yourself to do it in this headspace.

- Don’t profile me. I like privacy when I’m eating. Okay? - I looked at him annoyed, but he only smiled a little. What a jerk!

- Absolutely not. I’m gonna sit here, and watch until you finish that. - He sat down, leaning forward to watch me play with my food.

- Are you into feederism or something? - I sighed, and slowly started eating, drinking some water after each bite.

- No, I’m not into eating disorders in general. Listen, you don’t know me. Why don’t you speak about your relapse? It’s easier to tell someone you hardly know. And maybe I can help. I’m pretty big into psychology as you could probably tell. - He chuckled a bit at the end, and god it was adorable.

I swallowed the food that was in my mouth, drink some more water, and started speaking again.

- Well, why not. It’s stupid tho. There was this phase in high school when I would hardly eat anything, and throwing up after I had something. It was because all of middle school, they bullied me for my size. They even pretended to like me, so they can wound me harder after I believed them. It was a nightmare. Anyways….I somehow recovered, and now I’m here again. I had some of my old friends tell me that I gained a lot of weight and that hit the spot probably. - I fought back tears at the end of my speech, I was embarrassed, mortified even.

- I saw your picture up on the university wall. You are one of the top students. You looked really pretty. Mesmerising. You weren’t even chubby. I realise they probably meant that in a positive way, meaning that you are glowing, you look healthy, and..yourself. But for a former anorexic, it’s really stupid to say that. A simple compliment would have been better. I’m so sorry. Come here. - He spread his arms, inviting me to a hug. I was very vulnerable, so I gave in.

- You did so well. So so well, and I’m really proud of you. I mean it. - He pat my head as soon as he let go of me, and I honestly thought I was in heaven.

[meanwaffle]

Safety (Tsukishima x Reader)

Warning: alcohol, hu culture

Notes: college party moment

You sipped on your drink as you couldn’t take your eyes off the tall, handsome, blonde man across the room. He was chatting with some guys, but he had a bored expression you couldn’t take your eyes off of. He obviously wasn’t enjoying himself very much and it made you wonder why he’d come to a college party if he wasn’t someone who liked them. Maybe his friend made him come. Or he was trying to get laid. Who knows?

What a fucking jerk.

His name was Tsukishima. You sorta knew him already. It was a month or two ago when you both matched on tinder. Tinder was your best friend after all. It was an easy way to find hot and willing guys to keep you company on those lonely nights. The best part was there were usually no strings attached. You didn’t have to shield your heart from getting hurt, you just gotta have fun and spend your young adulthood partying and vibing. You didn’t have to worry about being vulnerable because it was a quick fuck and done.

Oddly enough when you matched with him and started talking to Tsukishima a bit… you got too vulnerable. It wasn't like you at all.

You found yourself blushing when he complimented you. His blunt charm offered a sense of relief. When he said you were beautiful, easy to talk to, how he felt comfortable with you, this bluntness made you truly believe he was being genuine. Over time, his messages started to become short and dull. When that would happen with other guys you’d just roll your eyes and move on to the next. Stupidly enough you kept sending him messages and continuing conversations or starting new ones. You would hold onto each convo starter like it was a life line.

“You look very pretty.” he told you once in response to a selfie you sent of him.

Ah… you wanted him to praise you more.

You wanted to meet him. You didn’t even care about getting laid, you just wanted to see him in person and maybe… hold his hand or something. Like they do in those romcoms! He was so tall after all, you’re so sure if he embraced you that you would melt into his touch.

“When are you free? Let’s go out to dinner.” You’d ask him. 

“I’m free on weekends! But if you have plans, my classes end at three!” You’d tell him.

“Shoot me a message whenever you’re available.” You’d messaged him.

Nothing.

After talking nonstop for two weeks, the moment you invited him out he changed. Shorter messages. He took longer to respond. Baseless excuses one after another about how he’s busy, that he’ll let you know the second he’s free. Responding to you obviously became less of a priority as you got left on delivered for hours and hours and hours, until finally you remembered why you originally were just sleeping around.

Men really suck.

You’re glad you remembered before you got too attached. 

Enough with all that. Sure it was only a little bit ago, but that was all in the past! Tonight was about having fun! You downed the rest of your drink and mingled in with the crowd once again. Striking conversations left and right, you danced a bit to the music, sang along to the popular songs that got everyone hype. You were having a good time and soon lost yourself in the fun. The alcohol was finally hitting and your confidence skyrocketed.

And there's nothing more powerful than a confident woman with a mission.

“Crap!” You blurted out as you felt yourself back up into someone. You quickly turned around to face whoever it was to apologize. “So sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“Oh, that’s alright! No worries.” A fresh, freckled face greeted you. It was a guy, a cute guy. The dark and grayish hair of his went against your usual type, you had a soft spot for blondes, yet his vibe was so oddly kind. At first you wondered what a guy like this was doing at some random shit college party. Though, when his large eyes met yours paired together with a dorky smile all the reasonable thoughts washed away and only one idea filled your brain. 

He was your mission.

With a grin, you tilted your head to the side just a tiny bit to subtly emphasize your good side. You fluttered your eyes in that cute manner that's always gotten the guys to take interest. “I don’t think I’ve met you! Do you go to parties a lot?”

You heard him suck in a breath and held back a giggle. The cute eye technique still hasn’t failed you. He was nervous, huh? “Ah, no, I came with a friend just cuz… I don’t know where he is right now actually. Uh! But I’m Yamaguchi.” A tint of red glowed on his cheeks.

You introduced yourself back and quickly started up small talk. At first he was hesitant, fumbling over his words a bit and avoiding direct eye contact with you. Once you got him on the topic of his hobbies, however, he started to go on and on about volleyball. You had to hold back a cringe when the subject of volleyball took place. You had no problem with sports! But, icky enough, Tsukishima also danced on the topic a bunch of times. You were positive he mentioned how he was on the team at school, maybe Yamaguchi was too. Maybe they were teammates? If that's the case, part of you wants to just run away from this guy.

Hm, well…. Doesn’t matter. It’s just a hookup. Besides after geeking out a bit he got comfortable enough to just… let go. You both were swaying to the music and laughing, you felt up on his arm and stroked his ego as you showered him in compliments and praises. He denied them, of course, he was shy and humble. Following every praise of yours with something along the lines of “I’m not all that.” or “I bet you know much cooler guys.” 

After some time passed the party was still at full blast. Slowly, you intertwined your fingers with his and glanced up at him with big doey eyes. His expression turned to one of surprise and his entire face was heated. You could even see him biting his lip from nerves alone. “Hey…” you said with a breathy tone. “why don’t we go somewhere quieter?”

Yamaguchi flinched and you watched him nervously gulp. “I, um, l-like where? I mean… you know… my friend is still here and if I’m leaving I should let him know-”

With an air headed smile, you tugged at his arm in the direction of the stairs. “We won’t leave! I know the people who rent this place, we can just go up to her room for a bit. She won’t mind.”

“This isn’t your place t? Shouldn’t we uh, ask then?”

“It’s fine! I’ve done this before.” With that said and done, you made your way over to the stairs. Yamaguchi followed close behind, but as you both were climbing up you were so focused on your gleeful success in getting a cutie in bed that you didn’t hear his hesitant mutters, questioning what you meant by “done this before.”

You pulled him into an empty bedroom and didn’t waste any time. You attached your lips to his and passionately threw your arms around him, pulling him even closer so your tits pressed against him. Internally, he was panicking. He’s never had anyone interested in him in this sort of way, especially someone who would act on it so quickly. It was all happening so fast for him, however, he let himself fall into the moment. Yamaguchi’s thoughts were racing. He couldn’t believe a girl like you would want to be intimate with him. The heat in his cheeks got hotter. Your tongue’s dancing together.

Skillfully using some interesting angles, you managed to get both of you close enough to the bed for you to slowly push him onto the springy mattress. A cute yelp escaped his lips with a subtle panic as you climbed on top of him without detaching yourself from his rosy lips. However, instead of him continuing with the sexy thrill of fucking at a party, he pulled back. You were surprised he’d do that, but the concerned look on his face made you question if you were pushing him into something he didn’t actually want to do. “Are you okay?”

Yamaguchi chewed at his lip. Crazy enough, you’ve only known him for a couple hours and even you could tell he does that when he’s nervous. He wouldn’t make eye contact with you, which was another indicator. His body language told you enough. You rolled off him and sat up on the edge of the bed. You bent down forward and softly smiled in an attempt to ease the tension “Not in the mood?”

Like a lightning bolt, he shot up with a worried expression.” No! I mean yes, I mean, I’m nervous, that’s all. You’re really pretty and It’s just a lot-”

“He’s a virgin.”

Both of you two whipped your heads towards the doorway which was suddenly open with a tall figure leaning against the frame. Tall, blonde, glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, you couldn’t stop your mouth from opening a bit in shock as you witnessed none other than Tsukishma there with a sharp glare of disappointment.

“Oh god, Kei! How long have you been standing there?!” Yamaguchi, obviously very flustered, spoke first because you were still stupidly sitting on the end of the bed with your mouth still agape from a lack of knowledge to even know what to say to this guy.

With a glance over at you, then back to his friend, he spoke more. “First of all you should’ve locked the door if you’re going to mess around. And I have been standing here ever since you fumbled the whole making out part.” His eyebrow furrowed, which was odd to you. He seemed to be annoyed with his friend. Was he annoyed that his homie was getting laid and he wasn’t? You certainly couldn’t think of another reason. A logical one for sure.

“I was looking for you so we could finally leave, though I saw her chatting you up and then going up the stairs.” He shot another quick glance over at you. “I could connect the dots.” His tone was irritating to hear. It was like he was talking down to you.

You shoved down any desire to stay quiet and spoke up. “That’s so weird, Tsukishima! And what if we kept going. You were just gonna stand there and watch? You’re such a pervert-”

“Wait, do you two know each other?” Yamaguchi asked, surprised.

“You’re hooking up with someone you met a few hours ago.”

You threw your hands in the air. “It’s college! This is what we do!”

Both of you were huffing and pouting like the drunk idiots you were. 

Yamaguchi had no clue what to make of the situation. He was shifting his weight back and forth as he fiddled with his fingers. He kept trying to get a word in, but despite his efforts everything he said fell on deaf ears as both you and Tsukishima kept going back and forth. One petty thing after the other. Tsukishima finally let out a giant scoff and went to turn to his friend. “Let’s just go.” He was thrown back when he realized the friend he was talking to was no longer there. There was just an empty space “Huh? Where did he go?”

“He walked off maybe five minutes ago.”

His nose scrunched up. “And you didn’t think to say anything?”

“I thought the wave goodbye would’ve been enough but I guess I didn’t take into account your lack of awareness.” You responded with yet another eye roll. 

He sharply turned towards the door. “Whatever, I’m out of here.” 

“I bet, ghosting is your best talent.”

Tsukishima stopped dead in his tracks. His hawk eyes gleamed into you with an emotion you couldn’t quite describe. Even so, you could tell he was offended by what you said. “I didn’t ghost you, you ghosted me.”

Your mouth fell agape for the second time tonight. Was he trying to set a record of how many times can he make you gawk at him like this? Who did he think he was accusing you like that! “Are you being for real right now? You started taking hours to respond to me! Yet your snap score was still going up. You were ignoring me and stopped talking to me. That’s ghosting!”

He turned on his heel to face you again. “But I still responded! Every time! Even if it took me a while to get back to you. You were the one who unadded me out of nowhere!”

“That’s my point, it wasn’t out of nowhere! I had a reason. I wasn’t going to waste my time with a guy who didn’t prioritize me.” You crossed your arms. This was not how you wanted to spend your time at this party. You came here for mindless fun, not a confrontation with some ex situationship.

Unbeknownst to you, Tsukishima’s heart rate was increasing at those words. The idea that you wanted him to prioritize you plagued his thoughts. “I thought we were just going to hook up.”

“Huh, yeah, but…”

“But?” You both were maintaining eye contact. It was weird that the guy you thought was just another fail basically interrupted you from fucking another guy for meaningless sex. And now you were both standing here, facing off from each other. One sharp response to the next, even though Yamaguchi left you were still at each other's throat. Truly, one of you should just go separate ways. 

You huffed. “Nothing.”

“You wanted more than just sex?”

“No, geez, I said it was nothing.”

His hand snapped to yours, snatching it roughly enough for you to break eye contact and stumble backwards with a shy gasp. “If it’s nothing then lets hookup, right now.”

You visibly flinched at his words. “Huh? Are you drunk?

“We’re both drunk. That’s why we’re stumbling around.” His grip on you loosened. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s fool around. You were trying to get fucked weren’t you?”

“God, Tsukishima.” You pulled away from him and plopped yourself on the edge of the bed. Tilting your head as you looked at him. “It’d be weird to have sex with you after all this.”

Tsukishima’s mouth curled into a cocky grin. “It’s college, it’s what we do.” You couldn’t hold back an eye roll at his mocking tone. “It’s the time for casual sex. Didn’t you say that?” He leaned back and turned the lock on the door. “See, I can remember to lock the door at least.”

Tsukishima was so seductive and it made your tummy turn as he looked at you with lustful eyes. It felt like he could see through you to your very soul, knowing how at one point you craved for him to embrace you and kiss you gently. You’d fantasized about him inviting you over to his apartment, with a candle lit dinner and red wine poured into those cute fancy glass cups. Then, after you two were done eating, he’d scoop you into his arms and carry you to the bed. Stripping you and leaving trails of love marks to brand his romance into your very flesh. 

But, you didn’t care about that anymore. Yeah, there's no doubt that you are completely over that. You were completely fine with a casual hookup in some random bedroom. This was fine, so you have no reason to disagree with him. 

You exhaled and glanced over at him with your lips puckered. “Alright, it is a party…” a hint of embarrassment sparkled in your eyes “Let’s do it.”

Tsukishima didn’t hesitate. He climbed right on top of you and pushed you onto your back. His hands were placed on each side of your head. You could feel his body heat as he leaned down closer, his lips almost right against yours. “Can I get an enthusiastic yes?”

You were nervous and he could tell. A sheer crimson enveloped your cheeks and flowers bloomed in the depths of your core. You never felt like this with your other hookups, but for some reason the thought of him seeing you naked… even the thought of seeing him naked made your tummy twist and turn.

That’s why this was weird!

But you would sooner die than admit it. “...I want you to fuck me.”

The cocky blonde smiled at you. It was different however, the spiteful and argumentative man you were yelling at earlier was nowhere to be seen, replaced by someone much gentler. It was an emotion you’ve never seen on a man. Usually when you spread your legs for whoever will give you attention they look down on you. They treat each encounter as some sort of game. They were the players and you were a side quest for them to complete. It was a common misconception with most of the men you surrounded yourself with that the harder they fuck you, the better they are at sex. Even when it hurts and you want it to stop, you don’t say anything. After all, fucking you rough gave them power. If you took away their power they’d want nothing to do with you. Men thrived on the idea that they were the dominant one, they were the ones in charge, and you were mercy under their touch. In reality, your fake moaning and exaggerated expressions was nothing more than a manipulation tactic that a single man has yet to see through.

You were nothing but an object.  You let yourself become an object.

You’re so lonely.

Tsukishima’s smile didn’t host any intensity or wrath, because he didn’t perceive you as just something to fuck. Seeing you waiting for him to pleasure you, he wanted nothing more than to please you to the point you’d never sleep with another guy again. This was the only moment he might have to prove to you that he can earn your approval.

He never thought he ghosted you. Henever wanted to ghost you and to this day he remembers the devastation he had when he woke up and saw an X next to your username. He had to play it cool, after all he was on tinder for meaningless sex and a way to kill his boredom. You didn’t simply kill it, you cured it. Talking to you made him flushed. He wasn’t supposed to be like that. He likes to believe it was his pride that got in the way of you two actually working out, but in reality it was his undeniable shyness. When he saw you had sent him a message, an internal panic plagued his thoughts. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t admit he was shy around you, even to himself he never realized that he was just scared to meet up with you or that he’d say something stupid. If he made himself out to be a fool the facade he worked so hard to keep  up with would crumble and he’d be left with nothing.

That’s why his messages became dull and his response time plummeted. 

Tsukishima dove between your thighs. With a free hand, he flipped your skirt up and settled his face right in front of your clothed pussy. You gasped at the realization that he was going to give you oral. Usually, it was the other way around. You didn’t dislike sucking dick and in fact you think you're pretty good at it. “H-hey, you know, you don’t have to do that.” you whispered, a flash of heat filling your body.

Confused, he lifted himself out from beneath your skirt. “You don’t like being eaten out?”

“Well, of course I do, but we don’t have to do all this foreplay stuff. I know men say it can be a hassle-”

“Oh my god.” He huffed and for a split second you were about to snap back at him, yet a warmth spread across your cunt. You squealed, hips twitching. He was licking you over your underwear. No one has ever done that to you before. It was thrilling. You had no idea how something as simple as eating you out was able to make your core explode like fireworks in a dark sky, but Tsukishima was succeeding in it. Hollowing out his cheeks, he applied suction as the wet spot drenching your panties only grew. “Ask me to take off your panties and I will.”

Fuck.

“Take off my panties…”

You’ve never had to ask for anything during sex before. Previous men you have been with just do what they want. Even the shy guys, you give them head and they’re so eager to fuck you that they rush into slipping it in without a second thought of your desires. You couldn’t count the amount of times you had to shout out “Don’t cum inside me!” as the guy would groan in your ear that they were about to cum. Despite that, a good chunk would still cum inside.

You knew it. Tsukishima was different.

You’ve just been surrounding yourself with the wrong people.

You did not want to admit that right now, however. If you did, you’d probably start crying as you accepted that you have been using sex as a self harm tactic to combat the internal hatred you harbor for yourself. At this moment you just wanted to be held and cherished by the sharp witted man about to ravish you. You liked feeling special. He liked making you feel special more. He wanted to pleasure you in a way no man could ever live up to. Plague your mind so that even if you were swooped into the arms of another your thoughts would be full of him. 

Hooking his fingers under your panties, he slid them off. 

He teased you by swiping his tongue up your damp slit. The whimper that flew out only encouraged him to tease you more. A little on the rough side, he started to apply suction to your deprived clit. Electricity bolted up to your brain and then all the way back down to your toes. How does it feel so good? You were confused. Why did it feel so pleasurable? It wasn’t supposed to feel this good, was it?

Your thoughts were drowned out by the sound of your own moans.

Your voice fueled his desire to hear more. Out of nowhere, he began to attack your pussy like he was nothing more than a starved man in the wild. He pushed his tongue inside you which caused you to unintentionally grind your hips against his tongue. More, you wanted more. His tongue slithered around your walls, ripping another cry from your throat. You couldn’t believe you were making such embarrassing noises. You never knew you were capable of such whimpers.

His nose bumped into your clit as he tongue fucked you even deeper. The wetness of his saliva mixed with your slick. His mouth was devouring your pussy and you could tell he was quite experienced. Tsukishima succeeded in his goal, because no man will ever live up to the skill he had with his tongue. 

Tsukishima’s pace never slowed. Up until an intense feeling of ecstasy washed over your entire desperate body, he didn’t let up one bit. You didn’t realize that you were whimpering his name softly under your breath. His dick twitched at the sound and he couldn’t wait to be inside you. It was hard for him not to just take you there and then, but he had an personal obligation to make you cum with his tongue. Strings of curses escaped your lips and he had a front row seat to you cumming on his face.

Not only cumming, however, you were squirting.

Tsukishima lifted his head up from beneath your thighs. You stayed on your back, huffing with wide eyes.  “Was that good?” He asked, the desire for praise more than apparent enough.

You blinked a few times, processing that irresistible new feeling you just experienced. You could see Tsukishima staring at you with a perplexed eyebrow raise. Using your elbows to sit yourself up, you awkwardly smiled. “It was good, really good, I mean I’ve never done that before…”

“You’ve never cum before? Oh wow, you need to pick better gu-”

“No!” You interrupted his misconception. “I never squirted, like that, It’s embarrassing and geez, it’s all over your lips!”

Tsukishima placed his hand against his mouth and rubbed at it with little to no effort. “Oh.” He chuckled at himself, making you smile. “I had a suspicion maybe you liked virgins or something and that’s why you couldn’t cum. You tried to sleep with Yamaguchi afterall.”

“Nothing wrong with virgins.” You retorted. 

He raised his hands in defense. “Sorry, sorry, you fuck a lot of virgins or something?”

You pressed your lips into a thin line. “I fuck a lot of people in general.”

“Oh yeah?” He smirked, climbing back on top of you and hooking his arm under your leg. “What’s your body count?”

“Only polite of you to answer first.”

“It’s high.”

“Same.”

After some silence both of you started to smile, trying to hold back laughter. Tsukishima was the first one to break the quiet. “We’re both sluts then.”

Not the first time you’ve been called a slut and it probably won’t be the last, but somehow this charming man said it in a way that was able to turn you on. Happily, you wrapped your arm around his neck and pulled him closer to your blushed face. You scooted downwards just so he had a better angle to lift up your leg even more. “Fuck me like a slut then.”

You did not need to say that twice.

Desperately with his free hand, he tugged his zipper down and let his cock out into the open. You quickly peeked at it, long enough to get a good look at it but not too long for Tsukishima to notice you staring. You wanted to play it cool. 

It was thick. Precum oozed at the tip of his cockhead, twitching with excitement to sink itself into your wet cunt.

He positioned his cock right against your soaking wet hole. Your pretty pussy was fluttering at the anticipation of finally getting fucked by the one guy you had an attraction to outside just his dick. He sunk into you slowly, biting his lip while doing it. You threw your head back with a moan. Your pussy stretched around his hard member. He started to fuck you with a steady pace. He didn’t just start pounding into you, no, instead he kept a stable rhythm allowing you to get used to the thick cock inside you. 

Still, with every buck of his hips that amazing dick of his hit the sweet, spongy spot deep inside your velvet walls. You whimpered and moaned, embarrassingly still trying to keep quiet in case anyone was nearby to hear you. Your shirt was suddenly pulled upwards along with your bra. You looked up to see Tsukishima practically drooling at the sight of your bouncing boobs. It was a sexy sight, they bounced along with the rhythm of his thrusts. He kept a steady arm around your leg and began to speed up his pace. “What a sight.” He groaned, yet the compliment fell on deaf ears as the volume of your cries filled the air.

He rolled his hips, pushing his cock deeper inside you. His heavy balls slapped against you, only adding to the lewd noises your bodies were making. Your pussy was clenching around him. The burning sensation of delight warmed up your cunt and the nerves surrounding your puffy clit were sparkling. However, none of it compared to how intense the pleasure was in your core. His cock was filling you. The friction was nothing less than addicting. 

You let your arms fall from around his neck onto the blanket. You gripped the fabric into a tight fist. The pleasure he was giving you was purely euphoric and you didn’t know how to handle it. Every cry that was ripped from your throat couldn’t be stopped even if you wanted it to. Even now, when his thrusts were getting sloppier and his groans filled your ears. His cock was twitching against your wet walls and the words “I’m gonna cum.” repeated out of his mouth.

You were too into it that the thought of telling him not to finish inside you wasn’t a concern.

Truly, you wanted him to cum inside you.

Thick, hot semen was pumped into the depths of your delicates. Tsukishima’s head rolled back and he let your leg fall against the bed. Your cunt was milking him perfectly that he could swear up and down that his eyes rolled to the back of his head. After he finished cumming, you both took a moment to catch your breaths and process how that was the best sex either of you have ever had. Hoping that the other was thinking the same thing.

Tsukishima clicked his tongue. “Shit, is there a towel, oh crap, it got on the bed.” He looked around trying to find something suitable to clean up the cum leaking from your cunt. You half sat up, fixing your bra and shirt with one hand then pointed to a side drawer next to the bed. “There's a washcloth in the bedside table there.”

He listened to you and reached over, opening the drawer and taking out the washcloth you knew was there. “How did you know that?” He tossed it over to you and zipped his pants back up. You cleaned yourself and pulled your panties back into place. “I’m friends with the people who rent this house. I’ve fucked many guys on that bed.” Standing up, you patted the wrinkles in your skirt flat. 

Tsukishima wasn’t sure what to say.

You could tell you created an awkward moment, so quickly you added onto it. “And out of all those guys you were the best. So, you were right, it wasn’t that weird.”

He smiled. His smile was contagious and you found yourself grinning along with him. “Good to hear. Are you heading back to your dorm? Sounds like the party died down.”

You nodded. “Yep. Gotta sleep this drunk off.”

“I should walk you home. It’s dark.”

Your heart fluttered. You metaphorically slapped yourself and gulped air down your dry throat, desperately making sure to hide any excitement from him. “That would be the safe thing to do. We’ve both been drinking, maybe you should spend the night. You know, for safety, walking home alone in the dark drunk is dangerous for men too.”

Stars twinkled in Tsukishima’s chest. He began to approach you and at first you weren’t sure what he was doing exactly, though without another moment passing he intertwined his fingers with yours. Pulling you closer to his shoulder and squeezing your hand tightly. It made you feel safe just as he intended.

“You wanna hold my hand?” 

A hint of red tinted his cheeks which went against the demeanor he made sure to force all these years. Maybe both of your auras are attracted to each other. The fear of commitment and stubborn pride caused you both to push away, but in this moment reality felt raw. It made sense.

“Just to be safe, of course.”

[sorcerous-caress]

Back on my Counselor Minthara bs again.

I’m just imagining the moment she’s finds out you actually slept with one of your professors.

The white hot rage that sears through her, first on a professional level because that’s a line that professors and students shouldn’t cross, then on a personal level because that is a line she’s wanted to cross since you came in her office with your tail between your legs for the first time.

But now that you’ve done it, all bets are off and she finally propositions you. If you’re going to be a whore, you’re going to be hers.

The entire time she fucks you she just wants to hear about how much better she is than your professor.

Yes ma’am, your dick is so much bigger than his. No ma’am it’ll never happen again, I promise.

You confess he didn’t even make you cum right before she sends you crashing over the edge for the third time.

She gets off work every day at five. You know where to find her if you ever find yourself getting tempted again.

Him. Are you hinting at what I think you're hinting anon? Gale?? Halsin? Karniss? Nere?? Omfg Wyll?? Wyll would be like the college dean's son no doubt.

Imagine how much self-restraint it took of her to stay on these lines, bordering what's appropriate and not for the two of you to do. Anyone lesser than her would've expected you between their legs during the second fancy dinner they paid for you.

But not Minthara, never her. She spoiled you rotten, let you get away with so many things and dress code violations. Just because this is a campus doesn't mean you get to walk around on some days dressed like a stripper and yet Minthara herself wrote you that permission slip.

And she was willing to play the long game, keep this up until you graduate so then she can finally get you working under her with a salary your colleagues could only dream of. Personally write that letter of recommendations about you to the dean.

But being a whore runs in your blood apparently. She should've kept the leash tighter around your neck and had lower expectations of you it seems, why else would you go seeking those pigs who drool at the sight of your exposed skin without hearing a word coming out of your mouth?

But maybe she should thank that useless cuck you decided to spread your legs to, wasn't it for him, she would've still waited all those years when she could've had you warming her sheets way earlier.

If you're so desperate to be known as the campus slut who bends to older men, then Minthara is sure to fuck some manners into you as your counselor.

You can't complain about the way she's pressing you into a mating press first thing in the morning just before classes, you asked for this after all. She knows if it's not her strap cock stuffing your loose hole than you wouldn't know how to behave yourself, would you?

She should get you expelled for this, for being so easy. Rage still fills her whenever that one professor walks past her on campus, imagining his filthy hands on you.

Normally she let's go of pets who don't know their place, if a bitch in heat wants to stray then Minthara will make sure to lock the door after them so they may never return.

But something about you made her give someone a second chance for the first time in her vindictive life. Be grateful and do not mess this up.

All your time in between lectures is spent in her office from now on. Under her desk, sucking on her swollen clit and lapping up her wetness as she works on her laptop. One hand on your head to force your head deeper down and keep you in place.

Her heels dig between your legs, letting you grind your heat against it as you play with yourself. She tells you to hurry up and cum already or else she's not unlocking her office door and you'll end up late again for you lecture.

And oh, this time around, she is never writing you pardoning permission slips again. You had it too easy before, now you have to work and earn everything she might ever give you.

Greet her with a kiss, cling to her, and show her your true devotion. Ask to accompany her home, and she might take you to dinner before tying you to her bed with a vibrator set on max all night long.

[luna-misera]

Hi, first of all I'm a big fan of your writing and I hope you're doing well ! I have a bit of an emergency request for you if you don't mind (it's alright if you're not feeling like doing it cause it's kind of a lot, just ignore the ask lmao) also sorry if my English sucks here, I'm kind of a mess and it's not my first language :')

I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed by everything recently (visiting my parents, a lot of papers to fill for healthcare/taxes, prep class assignments, being deadnamed on all my official documents and by my family, having a meltdown) and now to top it off my train to go back home and be able to work has just been cancelled. And of course my parents are having a party this evening and of course everyone is loud as fuck. I probably won't be able to go back home and attend my classes until Monday or Tuesday and it terrifies me. I have so much on my plate rn, I just want copia to hold me and the rest of the world to burst in flames at this point. Long story short, that would be very cool if you could write hcs for how copia would comfort a gn s/o that's in a similar situation :)

take care !!

Hello my little ghoul friend! Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm very glad to hear you like my writing! Also, I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time lately. Personally, I have also felt overwhelmed by everything going on in my own life, so I totally understand what you're going through.

Remember to take care of yourself, and take things one day at a time! Try not to stress about things outside of your control, but focus on what you can accomplish each day! Be proud of how far you've come and what you have already accomplished! I know Papa would be.

Copia Comfort HCs (Copia x GN!Reader)

Warning(s): None

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• Honestly, when you're stressed Copia is also stressed. He will do whatever he can to help you out, but he worries about you.

• If he can't complete any tasks for you, then he will be there with you every step of the way.

• He makes sure you're eating/drinking, and taking breaks.

• If he can't be by your side, Copia will send you texts throughout the day to check in, offer encouragement, and just to tell you how much he loves you!

• Copia is 100% supportive of your pronouns, and your name change. If you're open to the idea, he will absolutely help kickstart the process of a legal name change so you don't have to see it on official documents. Or he will handle them himself when possible.

• If the problem persists, then he will go to the main office himself to resolve the issue.

• However, when it comes to your own family deliberately dead naming you, then they'll find Copia can be very persuasive.

• He will politely (but firmly) remind them of your preferred name, and explain how deadnaming can be harmful.

• If they refuse to see reason and continue to disrespect you, then he will remove you from that toxic situation immediately.

• Copia is always there to support you with unconditional love and understanding.

• He constantly reminds you that your identity is valid and that you matter.

• He never wants you to feel alone especially when you need him most, and he is always there to be a shoulder to cry on or to listen to you vent.

• Meltdowns happen. That's ok! Copia takes you aside somewhere quiet where you can be alone, and holds you tight while you get it all out of your system.

• He rubs your back and comforts you until you feel better. Then, he asks how he can help you with whatever is stressing you out.

• Sometimes all you need is a hug, and of course he's willing to provide.

• Copia hugs you for as long as you need him to and maybe a little longer... just to be safe.

• He would absolutely burn everything to the ground for you, but maybe start with a warm drink and some cuddles first? Then see how you feel later.

• After that, if you're still hoping for worldwide devastation Copia has you covered.

[anthrofreshtodeath]

Mechanic AU. Please?

This one's for you and @dirtyrobber70 who also requested the mechanic AU. I will say 1) I know fuck all about cars 😂 and 2) there are no real working class areas in the north end. Not anymore.

There are so many points to suspend your disbelief in this one it's ridiculous. But we're here to have fun, right?

“No… no no no no no,” Maura Isles, neurosurgeon coming off the tail end of one of the worst twenty-four shifts of her entire life, pounds on the steering wheel of her Mercedes C300 as she eases it to the side of the road about ten blocks from her home. It’s smoking under the hood, and she can feel how hot it’s getting. From the inside. “This cannot be happening.” 

It is indeed happening, right at 6:45 PM when the end of her shitty day is in sight. The end drifts much farther away, and she wants to cry when she slaps her hazards on and calls AAA for a tow. 

She waits for nearly an hour, when a tall, handsome Italian with wavy brown hair hops out of the truck and nods at her. She thinks her evening is turning around when she ogles him, maybe just a bit, but then, the Italian speaks.

“Oh wow. I hope you don’t mind me sayin’ this, but you’re so hot,” he tells her, running a hand through his hair, dragging his gaze up and down her body. “I uh, I usually don’t get customers that look like you.”

Maura rolls her eyes. She is often kind, even to men like this. Men who probably paid someone to take his SATs. She also often doesn’t make assumptions, but she’s exhausted and he has been unbelievably rude. “What do you mean? We’re in Beacon Hill. There’s someone like me on every block.”

“Oh no, sweetheart, not like you,” he reiterates with another leer. But then, he holds out his hand for her to shake, standing a respectable distance away. “Giovanni Gilberti, of Gilberti and Sons towin’,” he tells her.

She takes his hand and his grip is firm despite how limp hers is. “Well, Mister Gilberti, I would truly appreciate it if you help me get to a mechanic.” Cars whiz by them, and their conversation is had to the soundtrack of busy Boston in the background. 

“Well,” Giovanni rubs the back of his neck and checks his watch, “there’s really only one place open right now, and they’re in the North End. And they’re kinda pricey. But they do work on Benzes.”

“I’ll pay whatever,” says Maura with a frustrated sigh, a guttural puff of air that complements the gritty asphalt smell. “Just take me there.”

“Alright then,” Giovanni agrees. “Hop in the cab and I’ll hook this baby up. Whew - that’s not lookin’ good. A few more feet and you mighta caught fire,” he whistles when he sees the smoke still billowing from under the white hood.

Maura’s teeth set again. “I’ll be in the truck,” she grumbles.

___

She’s greeted by another Italian business when they finally arrive at Rizzoli Motors, a quaint looking shop nestled deeply within the North End, beyond all the fancy restaurants and historical landmarks. In fact, it’s in the quieter, more working-class part of the neighborhood, and Maura is filled with doubt. Doubt, mingled with her exhaustion, creates snippiness. She holds her purse close to her body when Giovanni takes her into the shop between two cars already in for repairs. “Owner’s office is back here,” he says, leading her toward a small cube of a room in the corner of the shop with the door propped open. “Hey Rizzolis!”

Maura expects more knuckleheads like him to emerge, and she hopes, for their sakes, that they are just as attractive, because he’s already been hard to stomach.

She does not expect a woman’s voice to answer. “Jesus, G, you scared the shit outta me. What’s the - oh. Hello,” it says. It comes out of the woman wiping some kind of sandwich dressing from the corner of her mouth, putting her washed, but still oil-tinged thumb in it and sucking. 

“This here is uh,” Giovanni stops, and he’s realized he never got Maura’s name.

“Doctor Maura Isles,” Maura emphasizes the doctor just because all her frustration needs to go somewhere, and this woman, in navy coveralls and her hair pulled back from the smudges on her face, is the first person she sees. 

“What can I do for you, Doctor?” Jane gives it right back. Then, her dark, lively, cutting eyes spot the Mercedes on the truck out back. “Yeesh. Nevermind, I see it.”

“This is Jane Rizzoli,” Giovanni cuts in, stands between them before either of the two can strangle the other. “She owns the place.”

Maura chews on the inside of her cheek until it hurts because Jane looks at neither of them now. She gazes only at the car, and starts a slow walk towards it. Maura feels ignored. “Can you help me?”

“Yeah. G? Get it into bay three,” Jane answers. Maura feels a flutter in her belly like she does anytime she watches someone work. Someone in their element.

“You got it, Janie,” Giovanni heads back out. 

“And G?”

“Yeah, kid.”

“Get the hell outta here when you’re done,” Jane barks. Giovanni laughs even though Maura doesn’t think it’s a joke.

___

“Usually customers wait in the office,” Jane grumbles from under the propped up hood of Maura’s car. She’s got eye protection on now, and gloves. 

Maura is inches away, peering into the guts. “It’s empty. You and I are the only ones here.”

“And outta the two of us, I’m the only mechanic,” Jane counters.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t know how to spot a job well done,” Maura replies. “Or one not so well done.”

Jane stands up straight. She’s Maura’s foil in most every way, covered in grime and workwear while Maura wears a sleeveless white dress with a navy blazer over it, the whole ensemble costing well over five thousand dollars not including the shoes. Jane’s hair is wild and dark despite being tied behind her head, while Maura’s falls in wheat-colored waves about her shoulders and back. “What’re you tryin’ to say here? I don’t do good work? You don’t know me.”

Maura steps back, pretending to survey her surroundings. She even pokes her head out to look at the buildings near theirs. “Your shop isn’t exactly in the most affluent part of town. And you’re open very late. You must be desperate to drum up business. Maybe because there are other, better places in town?”

“This is my home,” Jane says. “I like to give back to the people that raised me. And you know what? Yeah, it’s not exactly Back Bay out here. But that doesn’t stop me from doin’ pretty well for myself.”

“I-”

“And you know why I do well for myself?” Jane presses on, derails Maura’s next utterance. “Because I’m open late - and I’m open late because uppity, rich doctors like you, they drive fancy cars like this and work crazy hours. So when they get off work, guess where they come?”

“To you,” Maura plays along, because she has to admit, she’s been schooled.

Jane gets close to her now, just to prove her point and to show off her anger. Maura smells oil and something slightly fruity, maybe coolant. “To me. Your radiator’s leakin’. See this plastic part here?”

Maura peers in, and Jane doesn’t exactly move very far to accommodate. They’re side by side, almost touching, as they study it. “This one?” Maura points to confirm.

“Yeah that one. It’s cracked and brittle. From deposits. That causes a leak, which gets you… whoosh,” Jane explains, and then imitates a rush of fire. “It’s gotta be replaced. You’re looking at like 1700 bucks.”

Maura fights a smile. Neurosurgeon or not, she needs a simple explanation and Jane gives it to her. She knows nothing about cars. And suddenly, she realizes how lucky she is to be standing next to Jane, and not in a fiery wreck over by Storrow. “I… I’m sorry. That wasn’t about you.”

“Usually isn’t,” Jane says. 

“I just… I’ve had the worst day at work and now this. I behaved rudely. There’s no excuse,” Maura sighs and closes her eyes hoping to banish the headache barreling toward her. 

“There isn’t,” Jane stands up straight again, and this time her gaze is understanding, and not combative. “But it happens to the best of us.” Then, Jane looks around the empty garage, and snaps her fingers. “Tell you what. Why don’t I pull out a chair from the office, and you can at least relax while you supervise me.”

“Jane, I-”

“No, no, come on. I’ve got some beers in the fridge, too,” Jane insists.

“You drink while you work?” Maura asks, skepticism rising again.

“I’ll have soda water, sheesh,” Jane says, but she winks when she does. “We’ll get some music goin’ and you can listen to me talk while I wheel under the body there and drain the radiator. Or, you can tell me all about your crappy day. Deal?”

Maura contemplates for a moment, then she shakes her head, putting her hand to it. What the hell. “Sure, sure. Why not.”

“Good, good,” says Jane. And she disappears for just a moment to retrieve that chair and those beers.

The end of Maura’s shitty day is finally, yet again, in sight. 

[ha-youwish]

could you tell me more about the postcanon p5 and p3 wip? 👀

ask game

this au is an excuse to make characters not a fucking cops and also make my own persona 6 (a rite of passage for any persona fic writer)

so basically, i think the phantom thieves polycule should get back together and then be recruited by mitsuru to join the new shadow ops. the shadow ops now are a private investigative agency apart from the police so they can get around some red tape that made it hard to do things like, say, get akira out of being questioned and beat the shit out of by the police.

so yeah now the phantom thieves are adults, akira was able to convince sojiro to let him run the cafe a few days a week. he does online classes and can't resist digging up dirt on shitty authorities and being like hey futaba check this out, mona helps him out with that. futaba is also doing online schooling and gets money from a mysterious source......

ann is doing modeling oversees at the time of the start of this, ryuji is in between track seasons and spends way too much time in leblanc (gayass), yusuke sells his art and also spends too much time in leblanc (gayass pt2), haru and makoto are on their honeymoon doing their thing in sapporo (makoto is becoming disillusioned with police work, haru has opened up her first cafe there and runs it).

basically mitsuru approaches akira and is like hey we want to make things better but laws suck but also we dont want to risk corruption can the PT be on an unofficial team for the shadow ops while also being allowed to do their own thing. by the time they accept a new cognitive world pops up on their radar, and thats where the ocs come in and things get complicated in a way i dont have energy to explain sorry.

so here read this also fuck cops

One day things will get better, has been the mantra that Makoto has been chanting since she was assigned to Sapporo. That, and, these things take time. 

Her goal to become a police commissioner took a bit of a turn the more she went through college. But she was here now, working with the investigations unit at the Sapporo Police Department. 

It… wasn’t what it seemed when she first joined. As the newbie, she’d been mostly shadowing under her boss so far, contributing to maybe one or two cases for a year. But it was fine, these things took time. She could change the system, but she just had to be patient. 

It was a little hard to be patient, though, when her boss treated her like she was his personal servant. 

Makoto filled up the coffee mug for the third time this evening, trying to suppress the scowl on her face. One of her colleagues in the unit, a nice man named Nagaki, walked in the room. 

She remembered the conversation they had the other day, when she intervened with one of the officers in an interrogation room. Makoto had gotten in more trouble than the officer who was about to get violent, and the situation had shaken her. 

Nagaki had kindly come up to her after the incident and told her she did a good thing. “But,” he said quietly, “Good things aren’t appreciated around here. Not without status.”

“Can I be honest with you?” She had said, still reeling from her reprimand. “I joined the police to change things. My dad was an officer, he was kind, and I was hoping to make the system more like him.”

“It’s a good goal to have, but it’s not going to happen if you’re here.” He scoffed, bitter. “Either quit or get fired.”

He’d walked off after that, ending the conversation before she could ask. But his words have been rattling in her head ever since. She couldn’t believe it. He’d been in this line of work far longer than her, but she felt she was different. She had to be different if things were going to change. 

One day things will get better, but why did it feel like things were only getting worse? 

[bentnotbroken1fanfiction]

I posted 768 times in 2022

That's 521 more posts than 2021!

54 posts created (7%)

714 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@memes-saved-me

@bentnotbroken1fanfiction

@meowmeowbilly

@lazybakerart

@ariesbilly

I tagged 179 of my posts in 2022

#harringrove - 49 posts

#billy hargrove - 44 posts

#steve harrington - 25 posts

#writing - 11 posts

#max mayfield - 9 posts

#fanfiction - 8 posts

#bruises - 8 posts

#lol - 8 posts

#stranger things - 8 posts

#bruises on both my knees for you - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#fanfic writers and readers are the only ones that care so much about him that we see every fucked up thing that happened to him

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Posting something that I added to AO3 a long time ago but can't find on my blog. If you've already read it, sorry. But I thought I'd add it to tumblr while I wait to finish some things I'm working on.

Billy lights a cigarette. Not because he needs one, he doesn't need much of anything anymore, but to give his mouth something to do while he fills Harrington's grave with dirt. 

The pretty boy owes him big time for this. Billy had plans for tonight. Plans that he had to cancel because someone decided to stumble into a den of the undead. And yeah, he didn't have to drag his bitten and dying ass out here and give him his blood, but he couldn't just let an ass as fine as that become little more than a snack. 

And sure , maybe his reasons for doing this are that shallow, but he's still doing him a solid. Billy never wanted to sire anyone, so this is totally out of character for him to begin with. Harrington is damn lucky he's still pretty. 

He heaves more dirt over him. 

Why the fuck was he even at that warehouse anyway? He had zero business being on that side of town, on his side of town. Maybe he should ask him once he climbs his way free. Then smack him upside the head for being a complete moron. Who walks into empty creepy buildings in the middle of the night? 

Harrington apparently. 

IU must not have a class on street smarts. 

He huffs a laugh at the thought of the boy taking that kind of class as he continues his work, and it only takes a few more seconds to fill it all in. 

He pats the dirt with the shovel and smirks, "Sleep tight, sweetheart. See you tomorrow." 

-

Harrington crawls into his new life as gracefully as Billy thought he would, which is not at all . He stumbles away from the grave on shaky legs and searches around frantically, fear and panic evident on his dirt smeared face. Once he sees Billy sitting on the hood of his Camaro, his eyes grow comically wide. 

"What the fuck? What the fuck is going on? Did I just climb out of a fucking grave? Did you bury me alive, Hargrove?" 

"Calm down, Princess. I saved your sorry ass. You'd be a bloodless corpse in a basement right now if I hadn't gotten you out of there." 

"Out of where? What are you talking about?" 

"Holy shit, you have no idea what you walked in on, do you?" 

Confused, he answers, "No?" 

"Jesus Christ, you really are an idiot." He throws the other boy a towel to get some of the grime off his skin. 

"Gee, thanks." He scowls, but he takes the offering and starts wiping himself off. 

Billy sighs, "I don't know why you were at that warehouse, Harrington, but whoever sent you probably wanted you to die," He watches the towel pause on his face, "or at the very least, beat to shit."

"I was there to hook up with a guy." He admits quietly. "He picked the meet up place."

And Billy knows he was the only human in that building last night, so that means that one of the other vampires had set him up. It's not like Billy's never hooked up with a dinner date, but that wasn't what was going on there. He had thought it was just an accident and that they had gotten carried away. But no, they had planned to suck him dry until Billy intervened. 

It pisses him off because they don't have to do that anymore. They don't have to wait so long between feedings now. They don't get so lost in their hunger that they kill all of their meals. So killing humans these days is unnecessary. It's an archaic practice that Billy despises. 

Fuck. 

Now he would have to watch out for those bastards. 

"I know it was stupid, and I should have left when I saw how creepy the place was, but I just really needed to get laid." 

He laughs at that. He can't help it. "I wouldn't have thought King Steve would end up literally dying for some dick." 

"Oh, fuck you, Hargrove." He growls. "Act like you don't gag for it too." 

Billy raises a brow. "Gag for it, huh? No, I'm not the one gagging, pretty boy." 

See the full post

138 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

#4

Posting a little bit of that Harringrove A/B/O I wrote last night. It needs some work but it's been fun working on it.

-

The first thing that Billy notices when he walks into his assigned cabin is that there is an odd smell in the air. It's faint. Nothing super obvious. Nothing harsh or musty, but just…different. Almost pleasant. He was prepared for all the insane amounts of Alpha pheromones permeating the camp grounds, the testosterone, even the B.O., so it was a welcome scent to be honest. 

He quickly forgets about it though, when he leaves to sign in and get the schedule for this weeks activities and the list of campers under his watch. 

But at the mess hall later, his nose twitches and he realizes that he's picking up the same scent he found in the cabin. It seems slightly familiar now…and it's coming from the camp counselors table. 

He isn't sure who it's coming from, but now that he's closer to the source he can pick up the familiar underlying smell…it almost smells like Max when she…

But there's no way. This is an Alpha camp. It's impossible for anyone to get in without having already presented…but yet…he's definitely picking up omega. 

He looks around in alarm trying to see if anyone else is noticing this. But everyone is laughing, eating, and horsing around. He's the only one that seems to be bothered. 

What the fuck is going on? Maybe he's imagining things. He's gotta be. 

Right? 

Yeah. He's just sensitive lately. That's all. 

So he ignores the feeling in his gut that something isn't right and eats his dinner and jokes with the other counselors and tries to hide the fact that his nose is tingling and his skin is itchy. 

But later, when he walks back into the cabin to meet the brats he's in charge of, he stops dead in his tracks. He can't ignore his instinct here. 

It's Jasmine…and honey…and something woodsy. And while it's not really strong, it's concentrated and more noticeable.  

The other counselor assigned to this cabin is already chatting with the kids and when he looks over to Billy he lifts a hand in greeting and Billy just knows. 

It's him. It's definitely him. 

He's the one.

Billy introduces himself. 

Turns out, the guys name is Steve Harrington and he's about to be a senior at Hawkins High. He's in the program to gain some extra curriculars for his college resume.  

And he's the prettiest thing that Billy has ever seen.

But he can't ask questions here. They've got a cabin full of newly presented 13 and 14 year olds. It's not the time or place to discuss this. 

So he just stays awake all night, keeping watch. Just in case. 

But nothing happens. 

That day or the next. 

But Billy does notice that as the days pass, the smell strengthens a little and now it's  affecting him. It puts him on edge. Makes him want to get close. Makes him want to protect…and that is not something that happens to him.

So he's gotta be right.

The only problem is that he doesn't know how to go about this. Steve Harrington seems to be pretty popular among the staff, the counselors, and the kids alike. He's asked around and he found out he's somewhat of a leader at his school. Nickname King Steve. 

So someone like that? Probably wouldn't want someone like Billy questioning him about his status. 

But he can't ignore it. It would be wrong. So he musters up the courage to approach him one night after the kids go to bed and they're all hanging out by the fire. 

"Hey, Harrington. Got a minute?"

See the full post

147 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

#3

So for me, Steve's six little nuggets speech was less endearing and more upsetting. Mostly because of the reason behind him wanting that so badly.

The boy is lonely as fuck.

He wants a big family so he won't ever be alone again. If he has kids, he will always have someone to love and who loves him unconditionally no matter what.

So, yeah. It more broke my heart than made me go "Aw Steve. He's so adorable wanting a bunch of kids and an RV to go on road trips with. UwU."

194 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

#2

Based on this lovely art by @angryhuangyu

Just imagine Billy waking up in Steve's body... 

He would wake up and stretch...and realize his ribs don't hurt like they should. His head isn't throbbing and his lip isn't pulling tight. It's strange because, after the argument last night, they definitely should be. So he opens his eyes and is met with an unfamiliar ceiling in an unfamiliar room. But when he looks in the mirror he does see a familiar face.

And of course, there's a freak out because what the actually fuck, but he would quickly deduce that if he's in Harrington's body, that means Harrington is in his. 

And if Billy had a typical white picket fence family, he would totally take the opportunity that fate has given him and run with it. He would love to just fuck with King Steve. He would love to just relax in his castle, drinking fancy booze, watching TV, and taking a dip in that sweet inviting swimming pool. 

But he doesn't have that kind of family. 

He doesn't have a nice suburban dad that thrives on a strong sense of family and community. He has the kind that thrives on pain and punishment. 

Which means Harrington is in serious trouble. Because he knows that he's going to wake up and wonder why he feels like shit. He's going to get up and try to leave. (He won't be able to because Billy is grounded.) He will come face to face with his Dad, not knowing what he can and can't say, not knowing the rules. 

He's going to say or do something wrong.

And then he's quickly going to find out the secret Billy has been trying so fucking hard to keep. 

And yeah, that fact would be irritating and embarrassing as fuck, but that's not what has him in a panic trying to find the stupid keys to the Beemer. 

It's the fact that as much shit as Billy gives him, Harrington doesn't deserve to be on the receiving side of Neil Hargrove's anger. 

No one but Billy does. 

199 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It's been so long since Billy has heard another person's voice, but now he hears her. Soft but clear in the red tinted darkness. 

"Dear, Billy." 

It's Max. 

His heart beats just a little faster because that's impossible. She can't be here. No one can be here. No one but him. Him and the monster. 

But despite what he knows as a fact, his ears are still picking up that ghostly sound. 

"I don't know if you can even hear this." 

He follows it. Drawn like a moth to a flame. It's not like he wants Max to be subjected to this hellscape, but…

He stops where the voice is the loudest. 

At a gravestone….

With his name on it.

What the fuck?

"Ever since you left, everything's been," she pauses, "….a total disaster."

He looks around. She's not actually there, but he can still sense her presence. 

What the hell is going on?

He waits for her to keep going, but can only hear her quiet breaths, so he sits down, back against the mossy stone slab.

Waiting.

"For awhile we tried to be happy," she finally continues, "Normal. "

There's so much pain in that word. Even though he can't see her, he knows she's been suffering. 

"I know that's impossible…too much has happened…nothing will ever be normal again…" 

Billy understands. God how he understands. 

"I just…" her voice falters. "I just hope that at least you're finally happy…wherever you are." 

His throat tightens, because he's not…He's not happy. And…

"I'm right here, Max." He whispers to the empty space before him. "I'm right here." 

252 notes - Posted April 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[whythewords]

Days 227 - 266: Oh, to be in your care

These are getting fewer and further between huh? There's also no point mentioning that every single time, huh?

Well, I started school again.

It sucks.

I had a sinking feeling that this final semester was all of a sudden going to be unlike the other three and crawl by slowly...but looking at the last three weeks from a distance, I'm pretty amazed that there were three of them. It doesn't seem like it'll be too difficult but also doesn't seem like it'll be a cakewalk. I think I mentioned it before but at this point I'm just antsy because I'm over it, I'm ready to work now. I've done the co-op thing...twice...essentially doing the same thing I would do if I was hired to work there as a regular employee. Speaking of which, co-op ended and prospects at the city seem good based on what was said to me and about me. I'm still not sure if that's where I wanna end up but it also may be one of the best spots I can be while I figure out what's next. So that's pretty cool.

So yeah, I finished that, started school, caught COVID....

Yeah.

Fucking shit caught up to me.

I had been on a college campus for a couple of weeks, trying to mask up and be safe obviously but that'll only get you so far. Unclear if I was patient zero in my household as my dad got it a day or two before I did but I could have brought it back and not shown any symptoms. So the whole Chammas clan here in the apartment got infected. Luckily, mom and dad are both double-vaxxed, double-boosted and the worst of it seemed to only last about two or three days for them. Mine has been lingering though. I missed all my classes this week but luckily all of the material (aside from the live lecture) is still online, I have at least one class that was already fully virtual and a friend from older classes and my last co-op who was kind enough to talk me through today's coding lecture over WhatsApp as it was happening. I daresay I was more productive this week while sick at home than I was the last two while I was on campus. It's almost as if there's no actual reason for any of us to be there except for the fact the college wants us buy their shitty food and pay exorbitant parking fees on top of the already ridiculous tuition costs. Capitalism gon' capital. But let's move on from that since I've ranted and raved about it to family and friends over a voice chat between coughs enough this week.

Well, come to think of it, there's not much else. Oh...I guess I filed for divorce since the last post. Yeah. Fuck. That happened. We met at the courthouse. Filled out some paper work. Got some stuff notarized. Went back to her house...shit, okay. Pause. It IS her house. Why did I debate whether to refer to it as my OLD house? I guess technically both are true. *sigh* See how psychologically fun this whole process is? Anyway, yeah we went back to her house and re-signed and dated any of the paper work we had looked over a few weeks before and then I took it all home and filed. The process supposedly takes about 6-8 weeks (it's been 5) and that's assuming that we did everything correctly. At this point, I'm just praying I don't get an email back from the superior court saying "sorry try again" or I will lose my god damn shit. The process shouldn't be this hard....it's already hard enough emotionally.

Okay...fuck it here it is.

So she was late to the courthouse. We had to queue up and take another number after I had already been there for close to an hour. I was furious. I did my best to remain calm. She was apologetic. But god it was just...a microcosm of the worst parts of our relationship. I spent the whole rest of the time thinking how glad I was going to be when this process was all over, how this time might ACTUALLY be the last time I had to deal with this shit...and I just....couldn't fucking hold onto it. Maybe my heart knew it wasn't worth it. Maybe I'm past the point of caring, of investing too much of myself in it, and that's probably the healthier thing.

Before I left, I stood at the doorway awkwardly, said goodbye and then gave her a hug, and instinctively gave her a kiss on head. We just froze there for a second in a fucking depressing tableau.

I've said time and time again that this was all meant to happen, and I still believe that. I've said we're both gonna move on from this and do so much better for ourselves and by ourselves, and fuck I believe that with all my heart. But as has happened numerous times this year, and will certainly happen a few more before the year is through, loneliness has tendency to kick you right in rose-coloured nostalgia. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about giving her a shout when I got COVID just to hear her sympathize and remember what it was like when someone other than mommy and daddy were taking care of me.

It's funny, I started this series of sort of journal entries at the beginning of the year, to document my progress, the first new year since leaving my marriage and my home. And moreso than "look at all the progress I've made," I Iook back on everything so far and say "look how it's still hard, but I'm still moving forward." "Look how it's still hard but I'm still here."

I don't remember where I heard it recently but "two steps forward, one step back is STILL one step forward." So that's it. This is gonna be the pattern. Slow progress forward, but mostly more of the same. More of the same until it's different.

[wylde-attributions]

Kai & Anna pt 2

The truth was that Kai had seen Anna multiple times before their second conversation but had been much too shy to try and talk to her again. It wasn’t until two weeks of accidentally watching the girl live her life had passed that he managed to work up the courage to get her name no matter what and set out to find her. Admittedly, it could’ve gone better. He only learned it because someone called out to Anna, not because she told him. 

I feel bad. Now she actually has a reason to be mad at me too… Kai sighed and plopped down on his bed.

He shared the room with another boy, but they never really talked. No one talked much in the group home Kai lived in. Not unless you did something wrong or they needed something from you. He’d gotten used to it, though. Lots of time to think, lots of time to teach himself what he could from the school’s library when class didn’t feel like enough to fill a day.

Ever since his aunt died and he got put here, Kai had just been quietly passing time as best he could. He wished he had real friends, but no one seemed to care when he talked. Sure, he chatted with classmates, but once the bell rang, they were gone. He couldn’t help wanting to befriend the aloof girl he kept seeing. I wonder where Anna goes to school. Maybe she’ll be different. No, she will be. She is. Something about her is way different– why, though? Kai hummed to himself in thought before sitting up and grabbing his backpack.

“Hopefully she’s not too mad at me…” The boy sighed and pulled out his books and schoolwork, setting them on the small desk at the foot of his bed. I still hope I see her soon. With that, Kai shook his head as if to disperse his thoughts and sat, getting to work for the night.

Anna, truly, was pissed. She had managed to run into the same annoying little idiot twice in the same month, and now he knew both her name and somewhere she went nearly every day. Somewhere her sister was nearly every day.

At least he doesn’t know why, I guess. God damn it. This sucks. What do I even do about it? I can’t get in trouble right now. The girl sighed and rubbed her face as she started to make sandwiches for her sister and herself. I know that McClain kid is gonna try to pick a fight again soon enough; I need all my good graces for when that goes to shit. Anna closed the refrigerator door hard in frustration, immediately freezing at the loud noise. Shit– please stay asleep. I can’t baby you right now too, Mom.

After a few moments of silence passed, the blonde released a held breath and continued making dinner. Get it together. What does it even matter? The fuck is a twig like him gonna do anyway? He’s just annoying. I've dealt with worse, and I’ll do it again. He doesn’t matter. He’ll leave me alone soon enough, and I’ll get on with it. “Just me and Rosie. Like it should be.” Anna grumbled quietly as she finished her task and walked across the small apartment to the balcony where her little sister sat waiting. Rosie smiled up at her and started telling her all about her day for the second time as they ate together. Anna smiled and nodded along intently, trying to forget about the day she had herself.

Kai is, by all means, not a creep. Nor is he a stalker. What Kai is, however, is scared shitless of the beautiful girl who he can't help wanting to know more about. Now, Kai found himself quietly following behind Anna for a minute or two whenever he happened to see her. Just to see what kind of things she gets up to, and to try and eventually apologize to her. Turned out, his small frame seemed well suited to going unnoticed, so he'd been following for longer and longer, trying to work up some courage to start a conversation. Eventually, the tall, intimidating blonde stopped walking and turned around, looking directly at him.

“So when are you going to give up being a fucking weirdo and following me? What do you even want from me?” She scowled down at him. Kai squeaked, his face immediately flushing pink.

“I’m s-sorry, I wasn’t trying to! I just– I um..” Oh jeez, I’m so stupid– this was all so stupid.

“Spit it out, god. I played along or whatever for a while, but this is just fucking annoying!”

“I didn’t mean to! You um, you always got busy, and I didn’t want to bother you, s-so I was just waiting to–”

“Yeah, right, liar. Just cut it out. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be at fault for starting some shit if I was being stalked.” She huffed and turned to lean against a building, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

“...I’m really sorry. I’ve just been scared you’d be super mad at me for learning your name without you telling it to me.” The boy looked down slightly and fidgeted with the strings on his hoodie. “I- I’ve been trying to think of how to apologize. Can we start over? Maybe? My name’s Kai; it’s nice to meet you.”

Anna just rolled her eyes and looked away. “Yeah, Anna, whatever. Not that it makes much difference. That’s not even what I’m pissed about. Just stop trying to figure out my routine or whatever the fuck.”

Kai raised his hands defensively and shook his head, replying quickly. “Oh, I r-really haven’t been trying to follow you like that or anything! I just– I see you, and I’m impulsive, so I want to talk and try to think of what to say, but then you’re moving on before I get brave enough, so I have to follow you while I think, and usually I only realize how long it’s been because I look around and realize I don’t know where I am at all, and then I worry about being lost and–”

“Jesus Christ. You don’t need to talk like you’ve only got seconds to live, Kai.” Anna chuckled slightly and continued smoking. “The last person to see me pick up my sister was just an ass, alright? I don’t like people knowing where I go and what I do. Forget where we wound up last time, and I at least won’t skin you or somethin’.”

Kai couldn’t help but stare at the girl in quiet awe. She just laughed. She used my name, and she laughed! His cheeks were dusted with a soft pink as he snapped out his miniature daze. “I- I already did! I uh, I actually tried to remember the next day to see if I could find you and apologize then, but I couldn’t remember at all! I swear, Anna! I didn’t even know you had a sister! Ah– maybe I could forget that too if you need me to!”

The blonde girl simply stared at the smaller boy for a few moments before shaking her head, a barely noticeable smile on her lips. “Whatever, it’s fine. I’m not gonna make you give yourself brain damage or however the hell you’d willingly forget things. You’re already weird enough. I trust you.” She stayed quiet for a few beats more before her expression hardened again. “Don’t make me regret saying that. I don’t take that shit lightly.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” Kai crossed his finger over his chest and nodded with a smile. “I hope I never upset you again.”

“God, what are you, five? Just say you won’t or something.” She chuckled quietly again before sighing. “Anyway, do you even know where we are now, then? You followed me for a while.”

Oh jeez, do I? If I’m as lost as last time, I might be late again. He looked around at the street where the two stood, failing to recognize anything as a familiar landmark. “Ah, guess not… Shoot.” He couldn’t help but blush deeper in embarrassment and fidget with his sleeves as he thought about what to do. Maybe she knows a bus station with a map nearby; I’m sure I can figure it out before I get in too much trouble.

“Come on. Where do you live? You look like a lost dog or something.” Anna stood and stamped out the end of her cigarette. “Don’t want to see missing posters because you got hit by a fuckin car or some shit.”

“W-what? It’s okay! I’m sure I can figure it out; you don’t have to trouble yourself helping me–”

“Well, I am. I have nothing better to do anyway, so come on. I need to know where we’re going.” She started walking back in the direction they initially came from, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets.

Man, she looks so cool– and I knew she was nice. Kai smiled nervously and moved to walk beside the girl. “Thanks… At um, at Open Door, on 42nd street.” He smiled and looked over at her.

“Oh. Isn’t that one of those kid's group homes or somethin’? Sorry.”

“Yeah. Sorry for what?”

“I dunno.” She shrugged. “That you must not have parents, I guess? Although there are worse things. None of my business though. I’ll drop it.”

“N-no, it’s fine! Don’t worry about it. I don’t really care or anything. I never even knew my parents in the first place.” The boy shrugged and kept smiling as they walked. “I’ve lived there a few years now; it’s nothing new. I was with my aunt before, but she died.”

“...The place nice?”

“Sure. I mean, they do their best. Mostly it’s just kinda lonely.” Kai chuckled and scratched the back of his head. “Not to be a bummer or anything, sorry. It’s not bad, really. They can be strict, and lots of people come and go, but I can kinda do what I want at this point.”

“Cool.” Anna nodded in acknowledgment and asked no further questions as the pair continued through the town in comfortable silence. 

Kai figured he shouldn’t push his luck by asking too many questions of his own, so he was happy to simply spend the time with Anna peacefully until they made it to his home. Once they did, the two casually said goodbye, both secretly hoping to see each other again soon, one in denial of this fact.

[hewholivesinhisname]

"Patriots"

I think the problem with me being a patriot is this:

On one hand conservatives will argue quite passionately for law enforcement and for "serving your country" in the military and the police forces.

On the other hand, they tend to be kind of dense in understanding that the government itself can easily be taken over by people who will twist the laws, empower law enforcement to take away their guns, maybe even ban their religion or whatever. In the extreme, which has happened many times in history, the government just get's taken over by one tyrant or another and slaughters millions of people. So, like, which is it? Do you want a powerful government which

Now, I suspect that most conservatives really want to recreate some sort of magical past which they imagine "the good old days" wherein everyone had a job and wherein everyone had a house, a tradcon wife, etc.

Conservative rhethoric and actions undermine this though because they defend the wealthy's right to do anything they want and they overtly defend women. Instead, they advocate for throwing lots of "bad men" in jail. So, how is throwing lots of "bad men" in jail going to help anything? Do they expect the rich and the women to give them a pat on the back? Of course not! The rich will use all these prisons and such to throw conservatives in jail and use them as free slave labor. This is why the international rich are rich, they work together to enslave while telling them whatever they want to hear.

The conservative fantasy is that someone else is going to see how patriotic and giving they are and in return that person is going to give them the lifestyle that they want which is just not how government works. government tends to be filled with the worst most powerful people imaginable and if you are stupid enough to contribute extra they will take it and leave and since you cannot.

There's a glimmer of course that since the conservatives love the military so much that they will understand incentive enough to make it more and more attractive (maybe the only option really) for young men to go into the military. I saw my father go into the military and boy did that fucking suck. I see veterans on the street all the time and there's always some scandal about how they ordered the troops to work with poison or something. yeah, more likely is that they will just institute a permanent draft or something thus making the lives of young men even more miserable. Leave it to the men to work hard to make the lives of men miserable.

In addition, of course, the police states that they advocate will go about taking away the rights of men in particular and breakup families. In order to have the tradcon family you need to have some sort of theocracy that is willing to punish and incentivize women to pick one man and stay with him her entire life. You need a government that will hire all the men or support the free market to create lots of new jobs and such. What conservative government would go against the will of the monopolists and the fascist class that supports them or would publicly endorse punishing women for breaking gender roles? I mean, the conservatives will make fun of feminists and such.

The overt anti-intellectualism of conservatives really makes it hard too, because policy is really complicated. Society is really complicated. So, you need the smartest, not the dumbest people in charge and you need to make sure that these people have good intentions which is another really difficult thing as smart people can work hard to appear as one thing while being another all the time. This is what goes on with Fauci, and pretty much every politician. All the conservatives in Q want to claim that somehow Trump is different but aside from saying wacky shit on twitter all the time I fail to see how electing Trump is going to save anything. during trump's first 4 years I didn't have a job and things kind of sucked and I don't see how electing him will change anything. I don't want to be too negative about him of course because everyone always just dumps on him, but really I don't want to fix the government, I want to get rid of it as the Bible advocates.

I think, mostly with "conservatives" it trends toward a sort of anti-intellectual position that supports any and all sorts of corruption except one which is that they will ban abortion. This tactic will work right up until the point wherein women who want abortions will figure out how to lie and say that a relative impregnated them or that they were raped. Within the conservative narrative stopping rape, especially of foreigners is important so all the women need to do is start alleging that one poor dude or another raped them and then they can send that guy to jail.

So, conservatives tend to mostly be men so it's a great example of men voting against their own interests, both economically and also against their own family interests. They will do this though because they like to engage in the fantasy of "the godly country" and also in the fantasy of being big strong men that will defend women and children. Men like to show off by killing and destroying other men so supporting overtly militaristic regimes is one way of doing this. What I don't think a lot of them understand which is that while in their own head tehy are always the "good guys" it is blissfully easy for them to drift into the category of "bad guy" in the eyes of society simply for being poor or perhaps for not being politically savvy enough.

The more men play the "good guy, bad guy" game the more all the men in society will fight and be warlike and the worse things will be for everyone. Instead the men should just work together to advance the interests of men, economically and politically especially making sure to create some sort of broad group that is inclusive of as many men as possible. This will ensure full employment, peace, prosperity and will provide the women with a lot of rich husbands. At least that's how it goes in my particular fantasy although there's a whole lot of particulars that don't seem to work out.

I'm kind of completely the opposite really. I think you need to put the screws in on the rich, you need the government to be the primary employer, you need to encourage lots of small businesses and really I kind of have anarchist tendencies. I don't even want an "institution" like a government existing. Instead I want to dismantle it and have people just follow one leader or another who can then negotiate with each other. I think landownership and ethnic solidarity based on landownership leads to endless violence which can often be genocidal and even if you had it, you would need some sort of international government which everyone supported making sure to support each ethnic groups claim to it's own land, space, culture etc.

I don't know about Trumps idea of a "space force" it seems like it might start out like Star Trek or something but it would end in Warhammer 40k, especially considering that I actually think we are under a dome of some kind. So, it's another con by yet another con man. This one led by the conman who tells you that if you support him he'll lead your nation into victory when really he's supporting some international regime of oppression.

The misandry bubble, that famous post, pointed out that the conservatives have actually been some of the biggest supporters of feminism and you can see why the feminists might see this as really useful in that you can just put a small percentage of the men "the winners" in charge of everything and then happily expect them to screw over the vast majority of the population in various ways, especially the male population because the guys identify with him. Who knows, if Bernie was elected maybe he would have done something similar, Biden certainly is an old white man that is happy to take away your rights with the patriot act and support a huge prison industrial complex that victimizes the poor.

Huge parts of the population right now are basically forced into the criminal classes which is where I'm probably headed since the "legitimate" section of the economy has totally and completely fucked me over. The banks won't allow me to open an account anymore (they don't want a relationship) and the police or lawyers or my family or anybody doesn't seem to want to help me at all either.

So, i'm automatically the "bad guy" that conservatives are talking about, but of course its' not because I don't want to contribute, it's just because I want world unity and also am pro-family which means being pro-male and pro-men, especially young men of the lower classes.

At least they aren't democrats, right?

[ghostpill79]

3/19

1:02 Am

Listing to live performance of normal love by xiu xiu.

The lyrics are so good.

I wanna make something good.

I feel like shit. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t eat real food.

I want to cry right now.

Not crying.

Chewing on my comforter like I do.

Tomorrows not going to feel great. My grammar class sucks ass. Marketing is boring and dumb. I just wish I could do creative writing classes. It’s the only one I like. But if they were all like that it probably wouldn’t be good. I have to cancel or reschedule my therapist appointment. I could do it now , I’ll do it now.

2:30 AM

Still not asleep. Can’t stop thinking about music I don’t make when I’m able to. Wasn’t most of today. Well that’s harsh I got sone stuff done. But not enough for me to feel accomplished. I don’t know if I ever have or do feel that way. Maybe the closest I get is just not thinking about feeling accomplished. I’m just not thinking. I wish I had a vice to fall back on in times like this. Should I just drop out and move back home. Focus on the music. That’s not a good idea probably. I really don’t want to move back to Charlotte. Well actually I really don’t want to move back home with my mom. I should text that girl back. She seems cool. I would like being roommates with her. I guess I should look for places. And apply to them? Fuck I don’t want to do this. I want some one to just do it for me. I want it to just be done. The thought of putting effort into things that won’t for sure work out fills he with suicidal rage. I don’t want to fucking do anything. Ever.

2:39 am

Going to browse tinder because fuck what the fuck else am I gonna do!? What the fuck else is deserving of my time. It’s definitely not sleep.

2:41Am

Fuck tinder. I don’t want any of these hoes! Hahaha. I would kneel down just to lay eyes on a pussy. Just to catch a glimpse. I’d let them spit on me. I’d let them punch me. Not into the stepping on balls and dick stuff. No not my thing at all. I guess I mean do like watching humiliation stuff but I don’t think that’s something I’d want to participate in. I think the humiliation is probably much more deep seated. Well be it’s probably much more pathetic. My hand hurts from typing.

2:51 Am

Responded to girl I messaged a week ago about horror movies. She finally responded , asking me what REC is? I of course waited five minutes to respond to someone who made me wait a week. But she’s hot as fuck so fuck it. I have no shame. Like In the song I’m working on says. Even though I think I’m not going to use that line . The song is probably not going to ever be finished if I’m being honest. Must keep at it though . Must finish something.

12:14 pm

Saw that they them again. Leave me alone, you whore! She wasn’t a whore. They weren’t a whore. I don’t know. About to sit bored in marketing again. I could read to entertain myself a bit. It’s so fucking dumb - that class. Literally for baby brained retards.

12:28 pm

The Spotify algorithm loves fievel is glauque I like them too but Jesus. Every daily mix is like a quarter them.

Listening to answer by Tyler the creator now.

3:55 pm

Shitting. “ I were you I start working 80 , 90 hours a week”. I want to write about a southern guy who’s done with his life that runs over a twink. His freedom from his life comes at the cost of some one else’s. That’s the theme. I want to blow away my fiction class. I want to make a Paul Thomas Anderson esc story.

Preparing myself to go to grocery store so I don’t just eat chocolate like yesterday.