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olderjodijournals · 19 days ago

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Thursday, July 1, 2004

I was so beat that I didn’t even feel or hear him leave this morning. He said it was 57º in here when he left, but I was dressed warmer so I never woke up.

Our tentative plan is to get water and dump the trash on Sunday, then take this old junker into town on Tuesday for more propane.

Later…

Today’s been a pleasantly relaxing day. I still would like to spend time alone here, but I didn’t feel as smothered. This is because we weren’t always together. Sometimes he was in the RV when I wasn’t and vice versa.

I updated my journal on the laptop, read and let the rats run around in here. Blondie was so cute at one point, drinking from my water bottle. He climbs everything and everywhere – fan grids, water dispenser coils, etc.

We discussed various incense-selling ideas for when we reopen the store, and I came up with a good one, though I still doubt we’ll sell any. My idea was to order 50 20-packs to make the $50 minimum. Then, instead of listing specific scents for sale, we give them a choice. We say here are the 50 scents we have, you choose what scents you want towards your variety pack of say 6 scents, 5 sticks each (I’ll have to make sure I burn no more than 15 sticks in each pack), to be shipped upon receiving payment.

I may print out the book I was working on at the library after copying it on a floppy, so I can hand-write it just to have more to do. It’s just that I’d hate to write something by hand that requires so much editing! I also don’t know if I want to try to concentrate on writing stories with Tom always here to interrupt or distract me. I can’t wait till he gets a job! I am so sick of his constant presence and I’m sick of him waking me up when he goes outside in the early mornings till I get up! He’s been getting up around 7 AM and I’ve been getting up around noon.

I’ve been having strange dreams. On top of the usual nightmares where I’m stuck in places – jails, hospitals, camps, etc. – I’ve been having strange sexual dreams as well.

Saturday, July 3, 2004

Got up at my usual time. Ever since we’ve been here I’ve been crashing between midnight and 2 AM and rising between 10:30 AM - 12:30 PM. It’s strange how I’ve held the schedule this long, though I have been taking something at night. Either Melatonin or Benadryl.

I was wrong in saying they left out Carefree incense. It wasn’t on the order form, so I found when I went back and checked. Still, it’s quite a coincidence that they swapped Angel with something else after I mentioned that Angel had become a favorite. I’ve got to stop telling people my likes/dislikes! They only use it against me.

This evening will be my first one alone here if only for a few hours. It’s about fucking time!

Well, it didn’t bounce back, but Dave hasn’t responded to the email I left, and Miss Perfect hasn’t responded to the email Tom left. And I told her in my last letter, which she probably got on Thursday, to check her email.

Yesterday I saw a gray rat. It was big for a wild rat, too.

Sunday, July 4, 2004

Mary and Dave are still blowing us off completely, and so help me God, if they refuse to help us after saying they would, I’ll never forgive them or talk to them again! Tom was even going to offer to pay back the money they lent us by suggesting Miss Perfect set up a PayPal account so he could easily transfer it to her. As I told him, though, if he wants to get his message across, he’s going to either have to send it by postal mail or call them. Fussing over a misunderstanding with my friend Mary every now and then is one thing, but I’ll be damned if I’ll play the family drama game again and again and again.

Two nights ago I didn’t have the bizarre sexual dreams I’ve been having so I thought maybe they quit on me, but last night they were back to haunt me.

Got another Mary letter yesterday. It was very different from the one before it. You’d never think she wrote to me chewing me out, but I can say the same for the letter I wrote her last night; that you’d never know my previous letter was chewing HER out.

She said you don’t really get to know the officers there very well with it being such a big pod and so open, which I can understand. Teddy Bear and I would never have chatted and flirted like we did had we been in the tents or dorms, but then again, she did just that. That’s why she got kicked out of Estrella.

Mary said she got a celly that stared at her nonstop and she burst out screaming. She said she was terrified. She’s also worried about the new jail that’ll be open in about a year with open beds and open showers like in the dorms. She said she’ll shower in her clothes before she lets 100 lesbians check her out as if she were a piece of meat. When she said that I wondered if she wasn’t as accepting towards gays as I’d always thought, but then I realized that she’d feel the same way if it were guys checking her out. Just like she pointed out how I couldn’t handle being there (which is true), I can’t imagine her dancing nude or topless like I did. As she would quickly learn if she did, she wouldn’t be “Mary,” nor any other clever stage name she may come up with, but a piece of meat and nothing more. Most guys that go in there don’t want to romance you in any way, they want to kill you. As in rape you, beat you, etc.

Tom has been having a hell of a time digging the septic test holes. He said the first couple of feet are loose soil, but then you hit rocks. He’s been breaking them up with an ax, but it’s still not easy. Our bath and kitchen water will go through the septic, but the water from the compost toilets we hope to have will go into a separate tray that you dump periodically. What I like about composts is that you can adjust the water amount in it and they can’t get clogged nearly as easily as a regular toilet can.

Monday, July 5, 2004

The only thing I don’t like about buying land is all the damn rules that go with it. I hate being told what to do! Especially with something I bought and own. It’s like buying a dress and being told you can only wear it for 3 hours on Friday nights. This is why, as Tom agrees, a boat would’ve been better. The only drawback to that would’ve been that we couldn’t get things in the mail or go to stores practically whenever we wanted to.

Earlier, like at around 9:30, we heard fireworks. Where they were shooting them off from, I can’t say for sure. I guess the farms, as it’d be a bit dangerous to shoot them off here in the woods.

I cannot wait for the shed! I am so, so sick of him waking me up every morning when he leaves. Why am I so sleep-cursed? Why???

Anyway, once the shed’s up, we’ll invest in a $100 porta-pisser so I won’t have to come into the RV at night if I have to pee.

My nose is so addicted to this wonderful incense! I’m burning Magnolia right now.

I was a bit alarmed when Tom pointed out a missing section from the last book I wrote. Text shouldn’t simply “disappear” from my doc files. Tomorrow I’ll check the file. Maybe it was just a printing error, though I’ll probably have to rewrite the excerpt. It seems to be a small clip that’s missing, so that’s good. I wonder if Mary’s copy is missing it as well. The margins were offset too, and I was like – what the fuck?

Later…

The section was intact in the file, so it was just a printing error, luckily.

Tom and I were discussing whether or not God really exists and what His true intentions are. He feels that if there really is a God, why would He have plans for so many people? There are just so many damn people in the world. He has a point, though some things do seem more than just coincidental. As for me – I don’t care anymore. Instead of getting any answers, I just get more and more confused with all the various beliefs out there. I say if there’s a God, fine. If not, that’s fine, too. And I don’t care if there’s an afterlife or not. I can accept whatever the case may be in this life and any future life I may live. I just might not like it.

One of the freebies, Hawaiian Rain, is really good. It seems, though, that each fragrance has 4 or 5 smell-alikes.

Miss Perfect and Dave are still ignoring our emails, and unless they failed to receive my last letter to them, they are definitely ignoring it. So we devised a plan. Tom emailed Miss P again, but this time he explained that we need a couple of thousand dollars before we can even begin to build, and how we want to build before winter sets in, etc., and offered to pay back $100 a month via PayPal, then $300 a month after the house is built. He explained to them that we need money for the land warranty deed, a septic evaluation permit, the permit to build the damn septic, and a temporary use permit to park the RV and live in it, then a site evaluation to show where things are going to go – the driveway, house, septic, etc. It’s really crazy and unfair, but that’s just life for you. Still, it really bothers me to be told what to do with our own shit and at our ages. So anyway, after another week of her ignoring his email, he’ll email Dave asking if they’ve gotten our emails. When he ignores us, we’ll then send a regular postal letter.

I just had an idea. I could send them an e-card. If they pick it up, I’ll know it, whereas I don’t know it when my email gets read. On the other hand, they’ll probably know I know it, so if they are checking their mail, they may be sure not to get the card so we think they’re just not checking.

Tuesday, July 6, 2004

Today was an okay day, but tomorrow is not going to be very fun having to take this monster in for propane, but hey, it’s the only way to have hot showers and use the stove and then heat when we need it. It’ll be the only time we’ll be glad we don’t have a 40’ RV! Driving something that’s 20x10 is bad enough.

Anyway, we went to the storage place today to drop off a few more things. While we were at it, we got water and I gave the girl there the unwanted incense.

We stopped at the mail place to mail all my mail. Already we’ve received our new bank cards and checks.

Before we left, we decided to move the rats out of the truck and into the screen room. They appear much happier there. They’ll be cooler in the daytime when they can get more air circulation. At night we’ll cover them with a sheet.

Tom acquired a rash that we’re pretty sure is from the Tide laundry detergent we bought at the Laundromat, so we got our own free and clear All. It’s cheaper that way anyway.

After the storage and mail place, we went to the Chinese restaurant, then to the grocery store. Besides a few days’ worth of food, I got another notebook. It will be used exclusively for story-writing. I decided to start another story in it to work on little by little when I get bored, while I work on my current one on the main PC, whenever I get the chance to use it. I still don’t want to do an Oregon-based story until I’ve been here a full year.

Tom found me some Jiffy Pop which I was beginning to think they didn’t sell in Oregon. It wasn’t as good as microwave popcorn, but it was popcorn, and it’s nice to have every now and then.

Someone left a 12-pack of Pepsi under their cart in the parking lot, so I got a free 12-pack.

The next stop was the Laundromat, and again, I’m amazed by how chatty the people are here. I spoke with a retired woman named Pat and a woman around my age named Shaun.

Poor Pat and her husband have it worse than we did when we traveled as they’re waiting on a whole new engine! She and her husband just retired and drove cross country from Maryland. They’ve been stuck in a Best Western for a week now. I asked if it was noisy. Not surprisingly, she said it wasn’t.

Shaun, who’s always lived in Oregon, amazed me when she told me she thought I weighed 110 pounds!

We talked mainly about the places we’ve been to. Both were quite creeped out at the desert creatures I described that we’d encounter in Maricopa.

When we were discussing how it’s no fun to be told what to do with your own land, Pat told me of a place someone lived at that makes this place seem like we have total freedom here. They could only mow their lawn at set times, they had to make sure their neighbor was up first, they couldn’t put their trash out the night before, they had to pull their trash cans in as soon as they were dumped, etc.

Anyway, poor Shaun locked her keys in her truck. Tom and some other guy tried to pry it open to no avail, so she had to wait for someone to rescue her with a Slim Jim.

We were all laughing our asses off when she first asked me if I knew how to break into trucks and I said, “Sorry, wrong criminal history. I was only a prank phone caller.”

Anyway, Tom’s trip to the temp place wasn’t that great. They told him to call every morning at 8:00 to see if they have anything, but of course, he can only wait so many days, which means he’ll have to fill out applications at the Work Connection.

There is good news, though, and that’s that the minimum wage here is $7.05 an hour rather than $5.15 like it is in Arizona. That’s way cool! With that, we could have $100 a month to spend on whatever, but as I told Tom, once I get the most expensive dolls if I can get them without the headaches and hassles, I’m going to cut my spending money back to $50 a month because I want to get in the house!!! The custom-made dolls I decided on are Hispanic Alexa, black Shani, redheaded, cornflower-eyed Becky, auburn-haired, green-eyed Jamaica, and blond, blue-eyed Mandy. I still may one day get either SW16 Bailey or an Indian version of her.

Our last stop was Dairy Queen for Blizzards. There were these two little kids there that were so Arizona-like and totally out of control. They were running around screaming like crazy. The parents themselves couldn’t have been a day over 18.

At one point a biker approached them to lecture them about not teaching the kids manners (something no one would dare do in Arizona!) and the mother simply said, “My son’s only 3 years old.”

Yes, she should be disciplining them, but had I been her, Mr. Big Bad Biker would’ve been in for a rude awakening! I’d have totally cussed him out and told him to mind his own goddamn business and if he wanted to fight, I’d be ready. The kids really were little monsters, though, screaming like hyenas. I was thrilled when they finally left.

In general, the people here, both young and old, seem a lot more relaxed. Arizona restaurants can really be quite a circus, yet even though the Chinese place was crowded, it wasn’t a zoo-like riot. They were all adults, though, as Oregon doesn’t seem to have as many kids.

Wednesday, July 7, 2004

I don’t know what I am right now, more pissed or more worried. Probably more pissed. Who at? Tom’s family. Again. I think they’ve pissed me off one too many times and that it’s definitely, definitely time to be done with them, and Tom agrees. Nothing makes my blood boil more than someone saying they’ll do something they never do! I hate people who are all talk and no action. Hate them! It’s like his family doesn’t give a shit about us any more than mine ever did. Miss Perfect’s exact words to Tom before we left were to let her know if we needed help. Well, we do. So Tom emailed her about it and even offered to pay back the money soon enough, but we’re still being ignored. Today my gut suspicions were confirmed too, because I received the auto-notifier saying that Dave got the e-card I sent. Well, if he got that, he had to have gotten my email which was not returned. Tom says not to jump the gun and to give it a few days, but it’s kind of obvious that they really don’t care to help us. Then why the fuck did they even bother to offer to?! My gut instinct is so rarely wrong when it comes to other people’s true intentions. I know they don’t give a shit and that they never intended to help us, so once again we’re pulling back and separating the blood relation from the people that they are and asking ourselves if we want to associate with people that could do that to us and the answer’s no. We have enough self-respect to avoid liars like that that don’t give a shit about us. The least they could’ve done had something come up to prevent them from helping us would be to let us know. To just keep us hanging like this is way cold and it seems that Dave’s just as bad as the rest of them not to have the decency to at least let me know he got my message.

It’s times like this that make me not want to have a damn thing to do with anyone but Tom because we don’t need any shit from anyone. You can only piss one off so many times before you just might very well lose them for good, and that’s just what they’ve accomplished.

I just worry we’ll be out of money before he finds work. He tells me not to worry about it till it happens, but that’s much easier said than done.

I wish to hell like never before that Marge S would just drop dead! Even if she did, though, would Tom even be given his inheritance?

Later…

Tom says he’s not ready to give up hope as far as them helping us, but I’m afraid to get my hopes up. On the other hand, it’d be hard not to hope they wouldn’t go back on their word in such a big way, despite their faults, but the world’s full of compassionless people who like to play with people’s heads.

I wracked my brains, knowing how fragile most people are, to think if anything I might’ve said in my last letter might’ve offended them, and I honestly can’t think of anything I wrote that any reasonable person would take offense to, but sometimes you can write something as simple as “the sun is shining brightly” and that’s all it takes to flip someone out. So sensitive is the Arizonan that you just never know. They can be laughing with you one minute and wanting to kill you the next!

I nearly got quite a bonk on the head shortly after we left with the RV. I glanced up at the overhead just in time to see my keyboard come tumbling down, but thanks to my quick reflexes, I caught the thing in my hand.

Fortunately, it only costs $16 to fill up the propane tank and not the $50 we thought it would.

I still can’t get used to it being light at 9:00 PM! The sun doesn’t fully set till 10:00.

Thursday, July 8, 2004

Well, I’ll be damned! They are going to come through for us after all! With mixed emotions attached, of course. Meaning, we’re very appreciative of the fact that they’re sending out a check today for 3K, but they’re refusing to let us pay them back. We were going to give them $100 a month, then $300 a month once the house was done, but they’re saying that instead of paying them back, no more! That’s where the mixed emotions come from. On one hand, telling your kid “no more” when you have a good 100K or so is pretty low, but at the same time we do hate to ask for help and we do want to be independent. I know the “no more” is for our own good as mom knows she’s not going to be around forever to rescue us. Then again, is that really the case? Or could it be she no longer gives a damn? Our goal is to get 5K - 10K saved up ASAP and 20K saved by the time he turns 60 because you just never know.

Meanwhile, life in the Klamath Falls Forest Estates, unit 4, lot 13 can begin!!! Oh, how I hope we stay here for at least a decade! Tom thinks it’s more likely we’ll get a summer cabin nearby, than people living here year-round. Yeah, I guess it’s better to have the summers spoiled than the whole year, but as long as they don’t fuck with us, we’ll deal with whatever. It should be easy enough to get them out of sight, if not out of sound. Even if I was psychic enough to know we’d never get neighbors, though I still think we will sooner or later, I’d still plant flower hedges next spring anyway. It’d be nice to have something pretty like that no matter what. We were thinking of going with the Rose of Sharon. They’re cheap and they grow fast. I also think the wildlife here isn’t as likely to mess with them in this kind of climate, though we’ll get older plants if we can.

I’ll still write mom periodically, though not as much, as like I said, I have mixed emotions about her. She, Mary and Dave, just aren’t my favorite folks. They asked if I went to the temp agency with him, and of course he told them I did. Anything they want to hear we’ll tell them to get the money we need. I’d tell them I tortured the old neighbors without provocation if that’s what they want to hear and if that’s what it’ll take to get the money. Either way, we’re pretty confident that once he gets a job, we should be able to fend for ourselves so long as we don’t have a mortgage or any other huge expenses come up.

So I was half-right in the end. I mean, I was really starting to doubt they were going to put their actions where their mouths are, but I pretty much expected the “no more” part.

Why couldn’t Doe and Art have died the day before I dumped them?!

Between the two of us, we’ve had one black eye, a bad rash (though now that he’s taking Ibuprofen it seems to be healing), and two bouts of the runs, on top of the usual sleep curse. Tom agrees that most curses go in cycles for set numbers of years, but when he says the sleep curse will probably end when the shed’s built in a couple of months from now, I’m highly skeptical. This is because it’s been going on for 12 years now! Nobody’s this light a sleeper, nobody!

Tom had to run out for water because I had to flush the toilet so many damn times when I got sick. He got it from this hotel in Beatty and found that they do propane there which he was happy to learn.

We’re going to make sure we don’t start spending money on fun things, as in setting aside allowances for ourselves, till we have a certain amount saved up. This amount will depend on what his job pays. He filled out applications today and is going to check out some production companies tomorrow. I’m also not going to get the mannequin till the house is done. Besides, there’s no room for it until then anyway, and it can wait. There’ll still be mannequins in the world by then and I’ll still have many years to enjoy it when I can get it, so I’m fine with waiting.

Tom got an inflator kit that sounds like a blow dryer for $5 so I can blow up my bed myself if I ever need to.

It was freezing in here at 6:00 this morning. Just 54º! We set the thermostat to 65º and we intend to leave it that way for as long as we have to live in this shitbox!

Our local rodent friends never cease to amaze me with how smart they are. The chippies seem just as intelligent as rats! When I call out “Chippy,” they actually come running! Also, Tom got to see the big gray rat today.

Last night I began Anyone’s Dream which I think is my best writing yet. I wrote it in my notebook to kill time before I could fall asleep. I abbreviated a lot of it so I could write faster, figuring I could always fine-tune it once I typed it up.

I’ve got to concentrate more on subjects, whether I’m personally sick of them or not, that interest most people if I want to stand a chance, no matter how slim, of selling my books. They want sex, they want murder, they want childbirth, they want substance abuse, they want violence. They mostly want to read about things they don’t want to experience in real life.

Friday, July 9, 2004

Still no job yet, but again he went out and submitted applications. He still feels confident he’ll get something soon. He said he wouldn’t be worried unless he was still jobless at the end of the month. His finding something – anything – would certainly take the stress off, though his mom’s check that’s coming will help. I just hope we won’t be forced to spend it on day-to-day living expenses because he can’t get work!

Later…

My MP3 player’s broken and I’m like, great. Just great. How much more do I have to lose along the way? It’s like something wants to destroy the few belongings we have left, leaving us with nothing! We have to get a new this and a new that and I am just so sick of starting over! When oh when do I get to stop starting over???

He did manage to focus the camera long enough to shoot a dozen pictures of the land and the lovely view at the end of the lane. I created a new Oregon land album on Webshots and uploaded the pictures into it. Then I sent Dave a link, but I’m sure we won’t hear back in regard to it. These are people who are so wrapped up in themselves and cocooned in their own little world that they’re rather oblivious to anyone else unless you practically grab them by the shoulders and shake the hell out of them.

Again, I hate to leave the rats in the screen room, even though I know they can handle it, but there’s really no room in here. Also, Tom’s movements waking me up are enough. I don’t need to add their fighting to it, too.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Staying back at the land for a few days makes going out more special, so I look forward to going out tomorrow. We’ll pick up some groceries and maybe hit the Chinese place, too.

I decided not to bother listing my books. For one, no one goes on eBay looking for books written by the sellers themselves, and secondly, I know the rule – if Jodi wants it, Jodi can’t have it. It’d be a silly waste of time to set myself up to fail. I learned by the time I got to my 30s not to fight fate or waste time struggling for things that weren’t meant to be. My writing was strictly meant to be a fun hobby and that’s it.

Dave picked up the album link, but as expected, not a word pertaining to it was sent in response.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

After a week of having around 1000 calories, I saved some money but failed to drop below 127 pounds. I knew I wouldn’t, though, and again, I know I’m far from the only one in this world who can’t lose weight.

The first of many samples came today. A regular letter-size envelope and a big envelope came made of very lightweight material. I’m not really sure what it is. The question is, can I send it to jail? Maybe I’ll just send the big one to Mary containing past journal excerpts or stories if I ever hear back from her.

If mom’s check isn’t there tomorrow, I’m going to be worried.

We went out today for water and a few groceries, as well as to the Chinese place. I got fries and barbecued pork. The fries were wonderful as always, but the pork was boring. I should’ve gotten the fried wontons.

For now, we’ve got a computer setup where he uses his outside on an old folding table. He has to put a tarp over his head, though, so he can see his screen. I use mine in the RV. If it wasn’t so cold at night, we could use it then, but he goes to bed before the sun even sets between 8:00-9:00.

I still hate the long drives to and from Klamath Falls, but again, it’s either be chilly in peace and solitude or sweat it out with the animals and antics of warmer climates.

Later…

I forgot to mention that on our way back we took a different way in. One that’s longer, but with better roads.

Tom got a bit of a sunburn. He didn’t wear a shirt because of his rash, so now he’s burned. That’s the third problem he’s had since coming here. Maybe he’s the unwanted one in this place.

I saw a cottontail earlier just like the ones down in Maricopa, plus we have what appears to be a small gray rat living under the wooden boards in the screen room.

It was cute when one of the chipmunks was standing straight up looking curiously up at the rat’s cage. God help it if it or a mouse dares to enter that cage for my rats will surely kill them! Rats are predators who especially love to kill mice.

Tom and I have a bet going, even though we didn’t actually bet on any particular thing. See, he insists that anyone can lose weight and that the main reason they don’t is that it’s no fun being hungry all the time and not easy staying thin once they get there.

I, however, insist that some people simply can’t lose weight, including myself. They just can’t do it for a variety of reasons. Could be a medication they’re on, thyroid problems, or genetics, but not everyone can lose weight, like it or not, any more than everyone can sing or dance.

Anyway, I agreed to faithfully stick to my diet of roughly 1000 calories a day, plus a half-hour workout to save money and to show him I won’t and can’t drop under 127 pounds. I did have dreams in Maricopa where some nameless, faceless being was insisting I couldn’t lose weight while I was there only because the evil that resided there wouldn’t let me, and while I always thought it silly for a ghost to tamper with someone’s weight, though God knows whatever was there sure as hell despised me!

I hope to hell he gets a job this week! I really do. If he doesn’t actually start something then I hope he’s at least hired somewhere this week. His getting a job will take so much stress off of us. Then we can start over and hope that we can have at least a decade before we have to do it again for the millionth time. Oh, how great it would be to stop starting over!

I swear it’s like something wants to keep things going for me and keep me on the go. I think, however, I could do a fine job on my own of keeping busy and productive! Yet here we are kicked down once again and once again we’re building ourselves back up on account of others, though it was our choice to come here (yes, for once a decision was made by us!) and we do want to build our own house to get out of having to have a mortgage. Still, I feel like I’m back playing appointments again, in a sense. In fact, the appointment game is exactly what I’m back to having to play if I want to be the one to do the laundry, go out for a bite to eat periodically, and to pick out things by myself at the grocery store.

Oh well. At least no one will threaten me with jail if I don’t go. If the so-called appointments aren’t neighbor-related, I can handle it.

I’m not looking forward to playing appointment with a new dentist either, once I finally get one, but I have to. I have a killer cavity that’s got to be filled, plus a few others.

Not only did I receive no reply from Dave, but none from Bob or Jeff when I went to ask if they ever expected to have plain caramel in their inventory. Why is everyone ignoring me? Oh well. Guess I’ll just ignore them back!

On our way in we checked out these two swimming holes that are sort of side by side, and yuck! They looked disgusting. The shallow, murky water was filled with tall reeds. You couldn’t swim very well there even if the water were deep enough. The lady at the bank said to stay out of the lakes due to the leeches. Well, we didn’t see any blood-suckers, but I saw a small snake swimming through the reeds. It was perhaps a foot long and might’ve been a water moccasin. If it was, the thing’s way poisonous.

Although we’re not scared of snakes, it’s nice to be out of rattlesnake territory where you always have to check under the stairs, under the cars, etc. Not that Tom would be sitting outside at a computer with a tarp over his head in Arizona in July, but it’d be an extremely dangerous thing if he did. Here, he doesn’t have to worry about stuff like that and having to always look over his shoulder at certain times of the year.

I just hope someone hires him this week. That’s our biggest concern right now. He spoke to a woman who said it took her 4 months to find work here. I don’t know if she was being picky or not, but hearing that and how she had to stay in a shelter was scary!

Think I’ll listen to music now on the laptop, then read, then work on Anyone’s Dream. Tom says I’m a real writer now because most writers work on more than one story at a time. Yeah, but aren’t real writers supposed to get paid for their work?

Monday, July 12, 2004

I did hear from Bob after all. He said his supplier went out of business and is looking for plain caramel. I just hope that the next time I order Angel, it really is Angel.

That’s twice Tom missed a call for what was probably a job interview. He was taking a dump when the call came. What? Does something up there want him jobless? He said he’s still not worried about the job with all the applications he’s filled out, and since he got two calls. The first call, the shit cell phone died when he went to answer it. I hate cell phones! It’d be $750 to have phone wire strung here rather than 7 grand as it would be for electric, but I’m a bit reluctant to do that at any point, even though they’re more reliable than cell phones, as I don’t want it encouraging people to move in here, though I’m sure they’ll do just that anyway.

Tom says the jobs he applied for are minimum wage. That should show us just how for or against us whatever’s up there truly is. I mean, if he couldn’t get a minimum-wage job, there’d be no denying the fact that something has it in for us even here.

He is a little worried about Ma’s check, though, which we still haven’t received. He thinks it’ll come tomorrow and that this mailing company is a day behind with their mail. I just hope they’re not lying about sending the check in the first place what with all the people who love to say they’ll do things they don’t intend to do because if they are, I’ll curse the living hell out of them! Without a shred of guilt, I’ll curse them to death or so close to it they’ll wish they were dead.

Later…

It sends chills throughout me to think of all the spiders we’d have found in this thing, amongst God knows what else if we’d been in Arizona this last month. I can also just imagine how many spiders have been in the house since we left it and I haven’t been there to do anti-spider spells.

Tom stunk so bad earlier that he ran me out of the RV as he was trying to wet-wipe skin folds that trap in sweat, like around his crotch area. Yup, the worst thing about being with a guy, not that I’d want to be with a woman other than in my fantasies, is how much they stink.

Now, if God – or something – could please, please let that check be there tomorrow, and please, please let him get hired somewhere, preferably at a full-time job so we could have benefits, we’ll be well on our way to establishing ourselves in Oregon. I know he’ll get 1st shift, though, unfortunately, so he can keep waking me up. Nothing up there would be so kind as to let him get 2nd shift so he wouldn’t have to do that, though I wish he could! I’d like to have some of the regular business hours free for doing things that can only be done at those times. Plus, 2nd and 3rd shifts usually pay more.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Well, I got half of my wishes granted. We did get the check, but he’s still jobless. He filled out more applications today while I did laundry, and has decided to take their free two-hour résumé class tomorrow. He thinks that’s what’s hindering him. I hope it’s that and not something up there that’s against us. We’ve had enough unearthly sources against us! So far so good, though, as we don’t have windows breaking for no reason at all, nor do we have any foul odors that appear out of nowhere for no reason.

I had a vibe on a particular scratch ticket out of about 20 different tickets they sell in a vending machine in the grocery store. It only won $2, but it won.

Anyway, as I figured would be the case, there was no note enclosed with the check. I’m still going to cut my letters way down to them as I still don’t like being told “no more” after they made Tom their personal slave for so long, and Tom agrees. I just wish Tom had said “no more” himself long before he did. Oh well. Better later than never.

The Laundromat was more crowded than I’d ever seen it before, but I didn’t have to wait on any machines. Their dryers really suck, so I hung the clothes in the RV once we got back. We’ll probably get a clothesline soon. It would save us a little money in the end.

After depositing the check and getting $100, since there’s a hold on the rest of it, we went to the Chinese place. I got my pork fried rice and egg foo young this time. They’re getting friendlier to us there now that we’re pretty much regulars.

Tom wanted to stop at DQ for blizzards after we did the laundry, but I was still stuffed from the Chinese place so I couldn’t eat much of it. I don’t have to weigh myself to know I’m back to around 130. I’ve been stuck ever since I got sick, and again, I know I can’t lose weight no matter how many days I stick to having around 1000 calories. He’s not yet convinced I’m right. When he is, then I’ll add about 500 calories, though maybe not. It saves money this way.

We checked out a thrift store in which nothing interested us, but that’s good since we don’t want to be spending money on non-necessities. They had a dryer there for $24, but I’m sure it was broken beyond repair.

When we got back, after I put things away or hung them to dry, I took the last few slices from our old loaf of bread, gave some to the rats, then to my wild friends. As soon as I threw the slices out to them, an adult chipmunk, a baby chipmunk, and the big gray rat, all came running to get their share.

Well, it’s been about 5 days since my sleep was shorted, so I’d say I’ve got about another 5 to go before it happens again. It seems to be cursed at regular intervals. But why???

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

My comforter turned out to be so damn damp that we had to hang it out to dry. We hung it over the satellite.

A white pickup cruised back and forth today. That’s the third vehicle that we know of to pass by, though there certainly could’ve been others with quiet motors to pass by when we weren’t looking or that passed by while we were out.

Anyway, the worrying over getting the check is out of the way, so now we’ve got to get over the next hurdle which is finding him a job. God, I hope he gets something this week!

Later…

Tom went to the class and found that they recommended he do his résumé a lot differently than he had in mind. I hope this helps! I decided that once I run out of food – no more till he gets a job. The good thing about not being able to lose weight (I gained back 2 of the 3 pounds I lost) is that I could go months without eating and still hold my weight. Most people would end up emaciated. Me, as long as I have plenty of water and vitamins, it won’t affect my health or my weight. I thought of one day going to a doctor to see if they could tell me exactly why I can’t lose weight, be it diabetes, thyroid problems, etc., but I’m pretty sure they’d just tell me that if my body holds its weight, then obviously it feels comfortable at that weight and to just let it be. Still, I can stop eating for the sake of saving money all I want. So there is some good to not being able to lose weight. Besides, I’m not that big. I know I’m no beauty queen, but I’m no ugly duckling either. In fact, I’m skinnier than most women my age.

Anyway, I guess one of the things Tom needs to do is kiss a little ass. They said that companies like to be praised, and I was like, but how can you praise a company you never worked for and can’t know anything about? Apparently, though, if you tell them you heard about them online and that they seem just wonderful, it’ll help.

I know he’ll have a 1st shift job and that in compensation for the lack of house payment, it’ll be a minimum wage job, but the question is when???

The night before last, I could actually hear a dog barking from inside the trailer, though it was very faint. Still, we haven’t seen one loose dog on this land, nor have we heard any music, let alone voices. I love it! There’s also no worry about it being so trashy around here like it was down in Maricopa. We’d have to get someone living in the clearing in front that was a slob to have trash blowing onto our land. I’m sure that’ll be the case someday, so I’m enjoying every quiet, clean moment I can! If we had slobs a couple of properties away, the trash should get hung up on the trees before it could make its way over here. The few trees in Maricopa manage to catch blowing trash, so these trees would certainly do a wonderful job of that.

Tom said he wants to get a gate up by where our driveway’s going to be ASAP, and I was like, but they could drive in through the clearing. He said it was a psychological thing, and I was like, okay.

It’s 87º in here now. This is the hottest it’s been so far and very typical of a seasonal climate where late July and August are the hottest as opposed to June which is the hottest month in Arizona. As hot as it is, it makes the late nights and early mornings more comfortable. It’s also dry, so it’s not nearly as miserable as it is in Massachusetts.

The other day when we got the camera in focus, I wanted to go out and take some pictures of the wildflowers, only to find that the bluebells had withered up and died!

Thursday, July 15, 2004

I heard Tom leave at 8:30 this morning. The fact that it’s now just after 4:00 and he still hasn’t returned tells me that something either very bad or very good came up. If it were bad, it’d more than likely be connected to the truck. Most of our crises seem to be wells or vehicles, and fortunately, we have no well now. But if it were the truck, I can’t imagine what would delay him this long. I would think he’d either get out and fix it or walk to a place for any part he may need, then back to the truck to fix it.

That leaves a job offer that came up. I hope! I really, really do! That’d be neat for him to get a job on our one-month anniversary here in Oregon, and on Linda’s birthday (my favorite singer who’s about Kate’s age).

I’m hoping that they not only interviewed him but that they hired and started him, too! Oh, how I hope that’s the case! I just can’t imagine truck trouble or errands taking all day. Of course, the worst thing that could’ve happened was that he was in an accident and is laid up in the hospital with no way to reach me. This thought makes me sick, but if this were the case, I’d surely think I’d have bad vibes. He’d have to be gone till the sun starts setting for me to really start worrying.

Someone left a text message on his phone at 10:00, but I don’t know how to retrieve it. I assumed it was a sales call anyway.

I’m anxious for his return to find out just what the case is. Plus, we’re out of water! I felt a #2 coming on and went outside to do it behind a stand of trees, but every time I’d squat down, a bee would harass me! It all worked out ok, though, for the bee drove my urge to shit away. Now let’s hope it stays away till he returns!

Anyway, I was pretty productive around here today, rearranging this and that. I even pulled the rats toward the center of the screen room so their cover sheet won’t get drenched the next time it rains.

I got a really good look at the rat today when I threw out some bread. It seems rather pregnant.

As long as you don’t spend much time in direct sunlight, it’s gorgeous. Oregon definitely has the best summers – not too hot, not too humid. Also, the stars on moonless nights are fabulous! More vivid than they were down in Maricopa. The trees aren’t as green as in New England as those trees mostly have leaves that fall off in the fall, whereas these pines, firs and spruces don’t do that and consist of a darker green. Some of the underbrush will lose its leaves, but that’s about it.

I’m glad for the tall grasses and hilly terrain or else it may not be as secluded as I’d like. This is because the lower parts of the trees aren’t very full. Some trees have no branches until you get 20’ up their trunks.

Later…

Yes, Tom was working today! And yes, it was him that left the text message. He worked at a place that boxes bookcases that you buy at places like Walmart and assemble yourself. Its only drawback is that it’s not a year-round thing and it’s only temporary. Instead, he has an interview scheduled for 9 AM tomorrow morning (you bet I’ll be spelling the night away) at a production company that makes computer cables. He feels it’d be a good place to work. His only obstacle may be that he’s overqualified.

We just hope he gets something permanent, full-time and with benefits real soon! He thinks tomorrow’s quite promising. I think so, too. I sure as hell hope so anyway! I think they’ll be impressed when they see what a nice, mellow guy he is. They just better not use him, but he’s learned his lesson as far as being too nice for too long is concerned. Besides, we don’t have a mortgage, so he could tell any nasty bosses to shove it up their asses and go elsewhere for work if he had to.

I had to take that dump before he got in, so I used drinking water to fill the toilet with. It’s ok, though, as it’s only like 50¢ a gallon. When he was at the storage place he was asking this guy there if it was ok to get water there, and the guy said, “Oh, yeah, go ahead. Help yourself. I can relate. The pump on my well went out.”

We can relate even more!

Friday, July 16, 2004

Tom went for the interview today at the cable-making place. There were about 6 others who were also interviewed. They had to do a silly math test, he said, and at one point, they showed one of the people how to do a particular problem they couldn’t do. As Tom said, what kind of a test is that if you’re going to show someone how to do something? They say they’ll let him know by Monday, but I’m beginning to have my doubts as to whether or not he’ll get the job just because it’s a much better job than the bookcase place, and most people don’t get the jobs they prefer. We’ll see, though.

Got a Bob letter today. All he had to say was that he’s been sick and would like me to send pictures of the land and house. He said he’s seen dome houses and that they’re nice. Just as soon as I get a printer I’ll send pictures. I wrote him a long letter back earlier, offering to send both stories and pictures as soon as I can, assuming he wants the stories. He probably will want them, and as I told him, the only reason I quit sending any after the third story or so was because I hadn’t heard from him. It’ll be nice to share my stories with him too, and I know he’ll appreciate having more to do, even if it only fills a fraction of his time.

A few hours after Tom got back, we went to that place in Olene so I could try their rib dinner. It was good, but a bit pricey.

Later…

I used up the last of the yellow pad the librarian gave me that someone had left at the library, so now I’m back to using my sparkly notebook when I have to write by hand.

Tom suggested I not worry about what I think will sell (not that I could ever sell a book anyway) and just write what I want, which he says real writers do. Yeah, I should. After all, wasn’t it me who bitched for so many years about too much of my life and actions having to revolve around others on account of their hold on me or their precious little feelings?

That rib dinner stuffed me so full that I haven’t had anything else. It was way good, save for the other patrons. There was a party of 6 and they were all adults, but very loud adults.

I decided on an allowance plan. The first thing we’re going to do is save up that grand we want to save up. Once that’s done, I’m going to put my monthly $100 towards porcelain dolls and any grocery savings towards other things like Barbie lots, incense, etc. Just like I’m putting off the mannequin till we get in the house, I’m going to put off the larger dolls till then too, or at least until we get close to moving in. They’d only hog up space in storage and be more stuff to have to haul back and forth. I think I’ll start with the bride, ballerina and Indians I like that Ashton has. I not only worry about hauling and hogging up space, but we’re not very secure yet. I don’t want to be getting expensive dolls that could be stolen almost as easily as if I handed the things right to a thief.

The question then will be which ones to get first! I guess I should go for the smaller ones that have been available the longest. As it is, some of them that have been on my list are gone.

They have these new Indian ornaments similar in size and price to my ballerina ones. They’re cool. It’s a subscription plan where you get 3 sets of 3. I’ll cancel after the first set like I did with the ballerinas as 3 is enough.

They also have a new gorgeous 27” Indian doll with a braid over 21” long for $200. Not bad, considering most 24” undressed, custom-made dolls are usually between $225-$250. She’s got a nice face and outfit, so I added her to my list.

For security purposes, Tom backed up all my doc files onto his hard drive, and when we’re both out, he’ll throw his PC in the truck. This gives me better peace of mind because although it’s unlikely, someone could easily steal all my docs (including Mary’s), plus my pictures and MP3s.

I was shocked to hear sirens earlier! They were going down the highway not too far from here. They were barely audible, but you could tell what it was.

The days are getting hotter. It almost hit 90º in here. It saves us money on propane because the heat doesn’t come on till well after midnight. It’s waking me up earlier, though. Instead of sleeping closer to noon, I’m sleeping closer to 10:00 because by then it’s in the 80s in here. I wish I could always be on a schedule. However, I know that as soon as I’m in a place with a more stable temperature, I’ll return to an erratic schedule.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

And the sleep curse lives on! I just thought it’d be a few days yet before it got me again since it seems that my 4-hour wake-up calls are set at 7- 10-day intervals. Just when I thought to myself that there was no more ammunition for it to use to get me out of bed in the middle of my sleep, short of the RV being on fire, it got me yet again by springing a leak in my bed. I checked yet I found nothing that could’ve punctured it. It’s like it magically occurred. Tom tried to locate the leak, but couldn’t find anything other than a possibly questionably loose valve where you unscrew the cap to deflate the thing. Still, the breakage/leakage curse lives on and it’s really frustrating. It really is! When, oh when can I ever go more than a week without being woken up by circumstances that prevent me from going back to sleep right away?! As it is, I got him waking me up when he leaves in the early mornings, and sometimes before as well, when he gets fidgety. Damn this fucking sleep curse to hell! I don’t know who/what put it on me or why, but damn the mother-fucking thing to hell! Maybe I should beat it at its own damn game and deprive myself of sleep by setting alarms to go off an hour or two before I’d normally get up. It couldn’t take what I didn’t have, and if I didn’t have sleep, there wouldn’t be any to take!

So anyway, the question was: did I want to jump up and fill the damn bed with air 2-3 times during the night? (it took 3 hours to deflate). Did I want to get my foam pad out of storage and sleep on that? Or did I want to spend $15 every 2-3 weeks for a new bed?

I decided to just get a new bed. This one was a couple of dollars more, but it’s a name brand that claims it’s guaranteed not to leak. It has a one-year warranty, too.

I ended up sleeping from 1 AM - 5 AM, then I dozed on and off from 8:30 - 11 AM. At 8:30 I had blown up the bed with tons of air and bottomed out at 11:00. By then it was too hot to sleep anyway. Nonetheless, if I could go more than 10 days without being woken up for more than a minute (though even that gets old), I’d be thrilled.

It’s days like this that make me leery of getting more dolls. Like I said, I don’t want to be getting dolls that are either going to end up broken, stolen, or simply taken.

Anyway, we stopped at storage for water, grabbed the mail and mailed off Bob’s letter along with Michael’s land payment and land deed paperwork fee.

We checked out a pet store, and yes, they have fancy rats here, too!

My little Blondie, as we’ve been calling him, is one weird rat! He has some strange habits. For one, he loves to rub his back up against things like cats do.

We changed their cage today and I took out the wire roof I had turned into their floor to keep them from making such a mess because they’re outside now where it wouldn’t matter if they kicked some of their bedding out.

Tom said the chipmunks can be weird too, getting within an inch of him, then running as soon as he starts talking and beating their heads in the ground.

We went to the Chinese place today. I won’t be back there for a while. Monday, I begin a 1000-calorie-or-less-per-day diet to not only save money but to show Tom I really can’t lose weight. As I told him, I’d really surprise them big time if I were in a concentration camp. Assuming I wasn’t buried alive or tossed in an oven, I’d shock my captors by holding my weight despite how much they starved me.

We grabbed a few days’ worth of food, then hit Walmart for the bed. Klamath Falls really is small compared to Phoenix and even Casa Grande, as I saw a chick there who works at the DQ, plus a few people who left the Chinese place just moments before we did.

Tom took a sledgehammer and drove a couple of posts into the back corners for when we string the perimeters.

It’s been so much warmer that the heat never came on last night and I could sleep nude like I prefer to do. It only got down to 69º and I have the thermostat set at 65º.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Today’s been cloudy with bouts of drizzle. I figured as much when I awoke after a much-needed 12 hours of sleep that I was only roused from twice, each for a minute, to find it only 74º in here. It’s in the low 80s now, but a bit uncomfortable as it’s muggy.

Monday, July 19, 2004

I awoke at 11:00 at 84º. I got up, opened the windows and brought it down to 81º. Tom had long gone to work after waking me up twice with his movements, along with strange dreams. Then the rain came and knocked the temperature just under 80º, so I closed up. Amazingly, not one drop of water leaked in here. It rained like it does in Massachusetts in the summer. It drizzled on and off for a while at first, then it came down harder. There was no thunder or lightning.

They say it’s to be in the 90s for the rest of the week. That’ll make the afternoons rather toasty, but the nights will be pleasant. I won’t have to sleep in anything and we’ll save propane by not needing heat.

Not surprisingly, the better job didn’t call him. See? It isn’t only me. 90% of the population doesn’t get their “ideal” job or realize their dreams, even if I may be one of the few to end up glad they didn’t.

Instead, he came home beat and stiff from a shitty job. He says the job is so incredibly physical that it’ll surely kill him if he stays there for more than a few weeks. No wonder it’s a temp job, as he says. No one can last long at it!

So, tears of worry flowed for a few minutes from me, but not for long. I’m too angry to be melancholy for long. Angry that all we do is struggle our asses off year after year. Angry that we work so hard for so little and sometimes for nothing at all. Angry at the cock responsible for putting us in this predicament, though I do not wish to return to Maricopa. Angry that we keep getting kicked down when we do build ourselves back up. Angry that old curses just won’t die! What will happen when we have a house no one can take from us? Will God see to it that a forest fire destroys it and takes it from us that way? Or will he take me from it by having me set up again by some vindictive shit with certain connections? What will happen when there’s no more ammunition to use to wake me up after 4 hours of sleep every week or two? Will I wake up just because, for no apparent reason, unable to fall back asleep?

Anyway, Tom eased my doubts and concerns by assuring me that the jobs are out there, reminding me that it’s barely been 3 weeks since he started looking. Besides, he got yet another call. This one’s from the Ross clothing store that they plan to open in a few weeks. They’re screening applicants on Tuesdays till they open.

He explained how he could work the rest of the month, then take 7 weeks to find another job if need be, and still support us without touching the $2,500 that’s left of his mom’s money. That’s all well and good, and yes it’s some comfort to know this, but I’ll still feel better once he gets a full-time permanent job he can handle with benefits and with people who don’t use and abuse him!

A chipmunk was climbing the inside walls of the screen room earlier. It was cute. I just hope they don’t tear it up. Especially before the rats get moved in here. See, once the shed’s up, we plan to move them and the plants in here, mount the satellite on a pole, then turn this bed back into a table and put our monitors there.

He was too beat to check for mail today (I’ll admit I’m curious as to what Mary will have to say in her next letter if I get one), but if he doesn’t check tomorrow, he’ll at least grab some groceries. I barely had 1000 calories today, the start of the 30-day, money-saving, prove-Tom-wrong diet. I awoke at 127 pounds, just what I’ll be waking up at 30 days from now. Oh well. I may not be able to lose weight, but I sure as hell can maintain it!

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Tom won’t be back for 8 hours or so. I just hope the job doesn’t kill him!

Alone with a team of me, myself and I, I expect I’ll be bored at times with nothing to do other than reading, writing and listening to music, but it’s better than feeling like I have no time or space to myself.

It’s hard to believe that in late ’00 to early ’01, to be alone in a room was just a dream. Now I’m the only soul around for a good one-mile radius!

Some of the vehicles down in the valley on the highway between units 4 and 1 are so loud that I think someone’s driving down the road, only to realize they’re not. Other than distant traffic, all I hear is the wind and the wind chimes with an occasional squeak from a chipmunk. They sound similar to prairie dogs but aren’t as loud or as constant with their squeaking.

I thought up a clever name for this place – Junipine. Just like Desert Winds Ranch was an appropriate name for our Maricopa place, I thought that with this place being full of pines and junipers, Junipine Estate was appropriate.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Today was the start of a few-day heatwave. For the first time since we got here, I was glad for the wider high-low temperature swings. It didn’t drop to 83º in here till 8 PM. Between 12:30 and 5:30 was so uncomfortable that all I could do was lay around in my underwear doing nothing but reading. To make matters worse, there was hardly any breeze present.

Three days of dieting and where am I? Same old, same old, of course, at the 127 pounds I’ll never get under. At least I’m saving money. Still, I looked at the scale as it read 127 and was like, why? Why can’t I lose just one more pound? Just one more! I sure am curious as to what’s holding the weight on.

Tom got a call for an interview tomorrow morning at a place that makes T-shirts which he says he has a positive feeling about. Well, I hope he’s now psychic because I seem to have lost my ability since we came here as if that was the price I had to pay to survive and escape the sick assholes that legally screwed me in order to get to Oregon.

In other good news, he got a winning lotto ticket for $10.

For the millionth time, I just want him to get a full-time job that doesn’t run him ragged, that’s permanent, and that has benefits so we can get the show on the road!!! He thinks we can have the shed up by late August if he gets this job, even though it too, is minimum wage. Oh, how I look forward to sleeping on something solid and having more room!

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Yes, whatever’s cursing my sleep is going to have me wake up for no reason when it runs out of things to use to get me up, and that’s just what happened this morning. As always, it was after 4 hours of sleep. I had to take a Benadryl to get back to sleep, which I did until the heat woke me up at 11 AM, shortly before he came back from his interview.

They say they’ll let him know by Tuesday. In other words, he didn’t get the job. He said he would’ve liked to work there, despite the lousy hours and lack of benefits because it was a small family-owned business he thinks he could work his way up in. The more appealing the job sounded to him, the more I doubt he’ll get it because once again, not many people get the jobs they really want. You just gotta take what you can get.

So anyway, I woke up a bit irritated due to the broken-up sleep and the fact that he never shuts up on the road unless he’s tired himself. On the road, I just like to veg out in my own little world and stare at the scenery, but as usual, he likes to be different, so he chats away.

Realizing that there’s no way a lunch consisting of pork fried rice and egg foo young could be over 1000 calories, I decided to go to the Chinese place once every week or two. It was good, though I got full fast because my stomach has shrunk due to the calorie cut.

We also stopped at the mail place.

We went to a dollar store that was just so-so. I got a new pair of scissors since ours are so blunt, and a caramel-apple candle. As hot as it’s been I’m not going to light it till after dark.

We also went to a gift shop by Pizza Hut and the library where I took a dump (I like it when we can stink up someone else’s bathroom and keep the shit from filling up our tank faster). At the gift shop, I got 4 wind chimes for just $19. Her prices were wonderful. I got a tiny one in the RV and the rest outside. Tom drilled hooks into the screen room’s metal support bars and I have a total of 5 hanging in there. I’d like to get a couple more sometime, plus this colorful thing that spins in the wind and reflects lots of colors.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Due to the ferocious heat, we spent the day out. When we returned at 7:30, it was still 87º in here. I’m sure it hit 90º or higher at around 3 or 4 PM. Right before noon, which was when we left, it was already 85º.

Last night there was a spider in here that wasn’t very big, but not very small either. I hope it was a fluke, seeing how we’ve only seen one other spider in here the whole time we’ve been here.

Anyway, we went to Pizza Hut first, which might’ve been a mistake. Although I couldn’t eat as much as I usually do, I feel like it put 3 pounds on me!

We stopped at the library to check their phonebook for any doll shops but found none.

Since it was right next door, I stopped in at the place where I got the wind chimes to see if the colorful spiral was there. Next weekend, she said.

I did laundry while he filled out another application in case the T-shirt place doesn’t call him. Since they probably don’t have benefits, they just might call. If not, I hope somebody, somewhere will give him a full-time, permanent job that won’t kill him! We’re tired of waiting for things that just don’t seem to be happening! We’ve been here over a month yet he still doesn’t have a full-time, permanent job, still no permits, no shed, etc.

We at least looked at sheds at Home Depot and there’s a chance we may get a kit. He took a few brochures that were in potential sheds to study. Of course the biggest, nicest one had to be nearly 2 grand! They come primed, so when we paint the house, we can paint the shed to match. I was thinking of a peach color, since all Tom and I have ever lived in so far are blue houses.

We also looked at floor and carpet samples for the house, light fixtures, tubs, sinks, countertops, doors, etc. It’s nice to know I get to pick these things out myself at some point! What we did get was a pressure-treated post for mounting the satellite on that bugs won’t devour, a clothesline, and tarps to put outside the RV windows to try to keep it from getting to be a sauna in here.

Nothing exciting in the mail except for a Tum’s sample for Tom and a coupon for a free sample of flavored water which is actually quite good. I got kiwi-strawberry.

We checked out another dollar store, but it was pretty similar to the other one.

Our last stop was at the storage place where I got most of my Barbies. I kind of missed them. I left the more expensive ones in fancy gowns, so all but maybe 10 of them came back to make the cute (yet safe since they’re vinyl) decorations they make.

Tomorrow, assuming it’s still going to be too hot to hang around here, we’re going to check out some yard sales.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Today was definitely the hottest day since we’ve been here. When we returned at 3:00, it was 91º in here and dead calm. There was no breeze to relieve us at all, and the humidity was so Massachusetts-like. It clouded up big time and we hoped it would storm, but it’s like we were being teased because it didn’t storm till after dark when it started cooling down anyway. I think it pretty much rains at night for the most part during the summers here.

I’m leaving the ceiling vents open later tonight to try to get it cooler in here to prevent it from getting as hot tomorrow. I had said I hoped it would get hotter to make the nights more comfortable, but I don’t know about that one because we can heat, but we can’t cool.

We’re going to quit going in and out after dark as we’ve been getting spiders and moths in here. Better yet, we’re going to bomb this dump.

Will this be the week he gets a full-time, permanent job? God, I hope so! It’s like God, just give us a fucking break already!

Tom says I look skinnier, but as I tell him, it’s all psychological because the scale still says 127.

Anyway, we were out at yard sales. I was surprised to find something at all 3 of the ones we stopped at. For $10, I got a coat for the winter and colorful socks with toe inserts sort of like a glove. At another, I got a short-sleeve palm tree print lounger/pool cover-up for $3. At the one by the storage place, I got an adorable pair of dolls for $10. They’re a boy and girl set, believe it or not, that is oh-so-cute. They have their eyes closed and their lips set in a kiss. You set them up kissing, sitting on a swing with flowers. I wasn’t impressed with the swing, though, so I cut them off of it. They wear matching outfits with the boy in pants, obviously, and the girl in a dress. A little dark and old-fashioned, but cute nonetheless. They’re both strawberry blondes with the boy in short hair and the girl in long tube curls. I’d say they’re about 10” from head to toe. I was just going to refer to them as swing kids in my doll chart, but since I cut the swing out, I thought James and Jamie sounded good. They go well together. I’d never have believed it if I knew I’d one day have a boy doll! For cheapies, they really are cute.

We don’t think we’ll be able to haul a big shed up here in the truck because its pieces are too big, so we may end up getting two smaller ones that are 8x8.

When we got back, Tom drove the post into the ground for the satellite and got that set up a few feet from the RV. It’s going to be nice having a permanent setup once again and not having to have the damn thing attached to the RV. He brought the satellite PC into the trailer and ran a wire through the wall out to the dish.

I decorated this dark drab RV with about 20 Barbies. They really make for cute, colorful decorations. Most of them are hanging by an arm from cabinet handles.

So, there are apparently two different kinds of firs and two different kinds of pines around here. We have one of each.

It seems to be the opposite of Maricopa here. Rather than being windy during the daytime and calm at night, it’s pretty still around here till sundown, though when it’s windy here, it’s not nearly as windy as it was in Maricopa. Sometimes we hear pinecones and needles falling onto the roof.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Although there’s still a lot of good to this little excursion, it’s hot, uncomfortable days like this that get me pissed off at the folks, bro, sis and God. God hates me and there’s no denying it. Never once have they been put out in the ways that I have. Never once were they forced to live with low-life welfare bums. Never once have they struggled financially, etc. They got to stay in places they were happy in for years without the constant uprooting I’ve been forced to endure on account of various circumstances. I’m just as much the black sheep of the family now as I was as a kid. They’re all living in luxury while I’m suffering in this hot, still, humid heat that’s going to see no end in sight anytime soon. Life’s been handed to them on a silver platter and I’m like why, why, why? Why was I doomed for such a lack of stability and insecurity? Why did I have to have such lousy neighbors so much of the time? Why was I forbidden to experience true lust? It’s like I spend my time groping and grasping at nothing, and when I do manage to grasp whatever it is I grasped, it slips away from me in no time. It’s like, fuck this shit! It’s a never-ending cycle of bullshit!

It’s going to be in the high 80s all week, which means it’ll be in the low 90s in here if we don’t think of something quick. Especially if he gets a job by some miracle. If he doesn’t, then I can go into town with him while he hopelessly fills out applications. It’s his age that’s hindering him, I think. The world was meant for the young, skinny and rich, and in some cases, the Mexicans and blacks.

There are storm clouds everywhere now. The problem is, it doesn’t usually rain till after dark, so all it does is up the humidity. We slept with windows open last night for the first time to try to make it cold in here to prevent it from getting too hot, but it never cooled down last night!

It’s so, so obvious that something up there has it in for us and wants to see us put out and made to be very uncomfortable. So much for the better life I so foolishly hoped to have here!

Monday, July 26, 2004

Today’s been a stark contrast to yesterday – much more comfortable and with great news! He got called and informed that he was hired for a job that he’s to start the day after tomorrow!!! But not at the T-shirt place like he thought he’d be hired at. It’s at that MCX that makes computer cables. It’ll be from 7:30 AM-3:30 PM at $7.35 an hour. What a load of stress this takes off us! We may even do hotels at times when it’s really hot and so we can have real bathrooms, even though they’re noisy as hell. I would’ve preferred for him to get a second shift job, but just to have a permanent, full-time job with benefits is good enough for us, and we know for sure that this place does have benefits. I just hope it doesn’t take months for them to kick in so I don’t have to wait too long to get my teeth filled. If it comes down to it, we’ll just pay full price for it if it gets that bad.

To celebrate, we went cruising around at various stores, and even to Klamath Lake. Man are there lots of little white flies in that area! And the water’s yucky too, though it was still cool to see it. I miss the beach! I really do. But at two hours to the California coast, we’ll get there soon enough.

We went to Pizza Hut, and I also got a side of ribs by the Bonanza junction a few hours later. That’s okay, though, as I’ll be dieting a lot harder than I have been now that he’s got a job. Why? Because the less we take from the food budget, the faster we get that grand saved up, and the faster we get our allowance money! He’ll put all of his towards the house, no doubt, but me? I gotta have some fun and start getting some of these damn dolls I’ve been wanting for ages!

Anyway, he went for a drug screening today, but fortunately for him, he was spared the humiliation of having someone gawk at him while he peed.

We checked out this way cool, comfortable purple office chair in Staples today that I’ll definitely want for the house, plus printers at Walmart. It does look like it’ll be a better deal to get their cheapest printer every time my ink runs out, rather than new cartridges.

We looked at both indoor and outdoor plants at Home Depot. They have a better selection than I thought they would.

Amazingly, no one has small, cheap window ACs. They’re all selling like crazy due to the heat, though today wasn’t nearly as hot as we thought it’d be. That’s because right after my last entry, we were happily surprised by a hailstorm that cooled things down really fast. Plus, I left the windows open really late.

We also stopped at Rite-Aid so I could see if they had any figurines worth painting, but they were dull. Instead, I got a new metallic pink hairbrush and a 4-pack of small cologne bottles. I got peach, Hawaiian ginger, cool showers and tropical dream.

We also picked up some rat food, chemicals for the holding tank, bug spray and bug bombs. We’ll bomb tomorrow before we leave. Tomorrow, we’re going to Klamath Falls again, and even to Beatty to check out their motel and laundry. This isn’t a chain of any kind. It’s owned by a person and there are only about 4 rooms there in this little strip.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Today was hotter than yesterday, though not as bad as Sunday because it was pretty dry.

We spent nearly $500 today, but it was on things we needed like new tires for the truck, a huge battery, an inverter, and a long, heavy metal pole with a pointy end for ramming through these rocks. As soon as we ever get the land deed, we can finish digging the test holes.

Anyway, now I can run the small portable EC when Tom’s at work without having to start the generator.

We decided on Friday for our laundry and grocery day. At least until we get a washer. That means he’ll have to come back and get me, go back to Klamath Falls, then back again when we’re done. That is unless we end up doing it in Beatty or he does it himself after work. We did one small load of laundry today and a quick grocery run. They have these awesome clear, flavored sodas with 0 calories, carbs, caffeine, sugars or sodium. The white grape is delicious. I also got kiwi-strawberry and strawberry-banana.

Now’s when I’m going to really eat like a bird. The less I eat, the more money will be left over to go towards the grand we want to get saved up. Until we do, I get $10 a week to play with, plus half the grocery savings. Once we get the grand, we’ll get $100 each a month, though he’ll no doubt put his towards the house, plus we’ll split the grocery savings.

For now, since there won’t be much money to play with, I’ll save up for less expensive things. For one, I may order retail from now on when I get incense since even 50 20-packs would simply be too much. It’d lose its freshness and potency long before I could burn it all. So, for $36.75, rather than $50 or more, I’ll get 25 of my 50 favorites, then the other 25 the next time I order, and rotate back and forth. It keeps the scents special when I don’t smell them every day anyway.

Another thing about going retail is that I’ll qualify for their monthly drawings if they’re still having them, though I doubt I’d win. Besides, if I did, it’d probably be something I wouldn’t want like a 19” burner or a smoking bottle.

There are also things like perfume at Walmart, this $50 redheaded Tyler doll I like, a $25 Barbie in a gorgeous magenta gown, etc. No $100 - $300 dolls till we get the grand saved and I have more money to play with.

Tom thinks we can each have $300 a month of play money once we’re in the house. Wow, not even I could spend that much that fast! Especially since by then, I should be caught up on most of the dolls I’ve been wanting which will mean I’ll be getting pretty much only new ones as they appear by that time.

I got two tampon samples in the mail, totaling 8 tampons. That’ll do a whole period!

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Tom’s first day of work was okay. He said the people are chatty, but mostly amongst themselves and not with him. Good, I told him. Silence is golden. It really is. The quickest way for people to start shit with you is when you talk. Even the most innocent statement can be turned upside down, inside out, and totally thrown in your face. Of course, sometimes you have to talk, but I wouldn’t want to unless it was absolutely necessary. The benefits don’t kick in for 90 days so I’m going to hope my teeth can make it that long.

Of course, his family’s been too selfish to care and too wrapped up in their own little world, as usual, to bother to take the time to either call or email us to see how we’ve been.

To my surprise, I’ve been holding steady at 127 pounds for over a week now. I won’t say that dream saying I could lose weight once we moved was right, but was it really wrong? Was the evil that haunted the place connected to me retaining weight? I haven’t held down at 127 this long for over two years. I could do it for a day, but that’s about it. Also, there were a few days I had 1500-2000 calories too, yet I still held it down.

It got up to 88º in here today, and although that was hotter than I’d like, it was Arizona-dry so it wasn’t too bad. Tomorrow’s to be the same, then it’s to rain over the weekend, then to drop drastically with highs of only around 80º.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Another hot and dry one out there, but not as hot as yesterday. We left the windows open overnight to cool it down more so it wouldn’t get up to 88º like it did yesterday. It’s currently 84º in here so it could peak at 86º.

The last time it rained, the front skylight leaked again, but I said – fuck it! Let it leak. I ain’t playing Leak and Bucket anymore!

When he gets home in a couple of hours, we’re going to go to Beatty to see if we can do our laundry there and stay in their motel once a week, if it’s cheap and if I can hear myself think. I’m not going to pay $40 to listen to a series of slams and bangs.

Not surprisingly, I haven’t fallen under 127 pounds, but surprisingly, I’ve been down at it for nearly two weeks now. But WHY can’t I get under 127??? What is it about my body that makes the scale hit 127, then say, “Nope! I’m not going to drop one more pound.” There’s got to be something keeping the weight on as I doubt whatever haunted the Maricopa land followed us here if there was ever a connection in the first place as to why I suddenly lost my ability to lose weight. That was a territorial kind of spirit. Either way, I know I’ll always be big yet it does have its pros. No one gawks at a chubby 38-year-old in public.

It’s 10 days before my period, so that means I’ll be on the rag for two weeks, even if I’ll only be spotting for the next 10 days. I’m so sick of this shit! Why can’t I just bleed when I’m scheduled to?

Later…

I’m also sick of having to move 20 things just to get to one thing. We’re living like total welfare bums here! I thought about the shed and realized that with barely more than a bed and a porta-pisser in it, it’ll be just like being in a jail cell all over again, but that’s ok because I’ll be able to come and go as I please, I won’t have any crazy, rude, begging, loud cellies, and I can go shopping!

Speaking of shopping, I decided, and Tom agreed, to get a guinea pig soon! I realized that now was an ideal time because it’d be in a place where its screams couldn’t wake me up and its odors wouldn’t be bothersome. They don’t stink nearly as bad as mice, but they do give off this musty odor that’s not too pleasant. I’m going to hope I can put it in with the rats, but we think they’ll try to attack it, so it’ll probably get tanked. They don’t need much room anyway and they can’t jump and climb like rats can. We’ll probably get it not this Saturday, but next Saturday.

We went to Beatty, and no, they don’t do laundry. Meanwhile, we ate at their café and agreed it wasn’t that great. Oh well. You investigate to learn these things. I definitely don’t want to stay in their motel either. I’m sure it’d be quite maddening.

Meanwhile, we discussed the possibility of renting a house during the snowiest parts of the winter if it does get that bad up here, and while variety sounds nice, as well as taking a few months off from the long drives and going where we could send/receive mail, I don’t know if I want to live that close to people. They may not be such animals here what with the climate and all, but if there was a house relatively close to us, God would use that as an opportunity to put the noisiest people next to us that’d be outside a lot no matter how cold it got. I learned that if you give a cursed area any ammo, it will strike!

Anyway, we’re not going to begin any work on the house till next spring in March or April. For now, we’ll just concentrate on the permits, septic and sheds. Michael better get that damn land deed to us and not make it our responsibility to get it to us. That’s what we’re paying him to do, though we know he has to go through the county, and if the county fucks up or takes their sweet time, it wouldn’t be his fault.

Friday, July 30, 2004

Well, today’s the day. There was something evil connected to why I couldn’t lose weight over the last few years, and the dream people, whoever they are, were right with their message about it being connected to the evil that haunted our old land. I’m just glad no evil lurks here!

Anyway, I weighed in at 126 pounds when I got up today! Actually, the scale first said 125, and I thought to myself, I must still be half asleep. That can’t be right. So I stepped on it a few more times and it read 126 so I’m taking it at that.

I feel more than ever that it really was the evil interfering because after losing weight as many times as I have in my life, I knew I didn’t just suddenly forget how to lose weight. This also rules out something being wrong like diabetes or a thyroid problem because that wouldn’t just go away and magically fix itself.

What’s weird is that I haven’t been dieting that hard. Only on days, I don’t go out.

I changed my mind about the guinea pig. I just figured I had enough responsibilities, they shed like hell, and it’d be one more thing to have to make room for. Space is rather precious to us now.

It cooled down to the point that it didn’t hit 80º till 12:30 and even now, coming up on 2:30, it’s only 82º. It’s clouding up a bit out there. We’ll be in for rain soon enough.

According to what I read, hunting season in Oregon begins mid-August, so we’ll see how noisy it is compared to Maricopa. Despite all the trees, I don’t expect it to be peaceful. Especially from inside a shed or a single-paned RV.

I was thinking I might check out the used bookstores in Klamath Falls when I need more books and trade my old books in for credit, since doing book lots doesn’t seem very profitable. If they were romance they would be, but I like mysteries. I know the library would be free, but I don’t like the time frames they have.

Speaking of books, we stopped by unit one’s well to see if we could find a number to call about buying into it, and well, there wasn’t a number, but there was a bookcase full of romance paperbacks. How I wish romance was my favorite thing to read! They’re everywhere. Of course, the characters are straight, too.

Later…

I moved the rats into the RV, believe it or not since it shouldn’t be too many more weeks before I’m in the shed. I figured that just because I don’t always sleep so well in here, why put them out?

I barely have room to sit on the floor in here and no bouncing room at all, so I’ll be doing my aerobic bounce in the screen room. I just can’t bounce to music if the weather isn’t nice enough to put the laptop by an open window, but it’s only temporary, so I don’t mind.

Tom’s back to thinking it’d be a lot cheaper to buy the parts for the sheds rather than the kits, although it’ll be more building time.

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djnusagi · 2 years ago

Text

What is MANGADEX

I just put out a seven track album called MANGADEX that I’ve been working on since 2020 and I wanted to talk a little bit about the process behind it.

MANGADEX is about a particular part of my life. For a lot of my life, especially my adolescence, I was extremely antisocial, and I still am to some degree. I’ve known I was transgender since I was 12, and I’ve explicitly “wanted to be a girl” since I was 7. Like I was always a little bit “off” and uncomfortable with maleness and bad at performing it but when I was 7 I became obsessed with wanting to be a girl. But I didn’t know about trans people yet, and I knew enough to know that if I started telling people I wanted to be a girl it would go badly for me. When I finally learned what being trans was I told my parents. They reacted really badly but after a year they relented and took me to a “gender clinic”. That only made things worse. I won’t go into detail but I was like 13 and spent hours being interrogated by adults about my sexuality, masturbation, and all variety of unpleasant topics. Eventually they determined I wasn’t trans and I would eventually grow out of.

After that I tried really hard to repress my dysphoria, which didn’t go well. It only got worse and worse as I got older. I became extremely withdrawn and antisocial, I never left my bedroom except when I absolutely had to and spent most of my free time engrossed in escapist fantasy through video games, anime and manga. I also used the internet a LOT. The internet was also where I read most of my manga and watched most of my anime, specifically through the websites MangaDex and kissanime.

In 2020 I had the idea to make two albums that would work as companion pieces. They would both be reflections on dysphoria, escapism and isolation. The first album, which I decided to call MANGADEX, would be a more positive album, focusing on the trying to find a way out of this state and what little good I could scrape out of it. This album was planned to be shorter (at one point it was a four track EP), with more emphasis on flashy sound design and high energy tracks influenced by dance music. The second album would be called kissanime. It would be longer (I’m anticipating about 10 tracks), with a focus on how fucking depressing and miserable this period in my life was/is. kissanime is going to be a lot sadder, with more atmospheric production (basically a bunch of Drain Gang type beats).

I’m aiming for a march release date for kissanime, but who knows when it’ll actually come out. MANGADEX was meant to come out in October and it just dropped a few days ago on December 2nd. If nothing else there’s a track on kissanime about aging and birthday’s that I wanna put out as a single on my actual birthday (March 6th) so hopefully I’ll be able to do that. I also have way more than 10 tracks in various stages of creation for kissanime, and I had to cut a track I was really excited for from MANGADEX because I just couldn’t figure out how to finish it. So after kissanime is out I’m gonna finish up all the leftover shit, maybe pad it out with some loosies, and call the resulting album nhentai (thanks to my friend PixelQuiet for coming up with that name, she’s a really cool gamedev and you should follow her)

But the thing about these two albums is that they don’t 100% represent where I am in my life anymore. The part in my life they’re about will probably always be with me to some extent and I’m honestly not fully out of that space yet. But when I started HRT in August 2021 it triggered a very slow move towards a more healthy social life and a healthier (though still extremely negative) relationship with my body. I’ve learned a lot about myself since then and I think I’ve grown a lot as a person. After I’m done with this series of albums I wanna do an album about where I am now. I’m stuck in my home town living with my parents and wanna get out. I’ve already begun writing for that album actually. I also want that album to be more guitar-centric and have sort of a post hardcore influence. Anyways, if you read all this then thank you. I hope you’re enjoying MANGADEX and I hope you enjoy kissanime when it finally comes out.

- V

#nusagi blog

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jiminrings · 4 years ago

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i think stem!koo would compare himself with the other guy and start questioning if that’s more oc’s type and if he’s just the outlier. maybe even tries mimicking the other guy to see oc’s reaction… like if oc was talking to hobi and guk saw and then when they meet up a few day later oc’s like???? why are you blonde?

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

besides hoseok having the divine ability to throw pretty cool parties, it turns out he’s actually pretty cool too — too bad jungkook doesn’t know how to handle his jealousy at all.

“would you hate me?”

there’s no morning like today, really

no morning like today because all three of you woke up before 10 am

setting alarms when there are no classes is the equivalent of setting yourself up and you will not subject yourself to that!! — you wake up at like 12 pm max

yoongi would typically wake up at 4 in the morning, groggily realize that it’s iNDEED 4 in the morning, and go back to sleep — he wakes up seven hours later <3

jin’s sleeping pattern (or as what he calls un-blinking hours) fluctuates so oftenly and is therefore non-existent — he wakes up only when you wake him up!!

the three of you just started coming out of your rooms one-by-one and were in a daze looking at each other :|

no morning like today because now that the three of you woke up practically at the same exact time for an unknown reason, you asked if you can have jungkook come over for breakfast and they agreed

“do you guys mind if i invite jungkook for breakfast?”

“nah. go ahead.”

“it’s alright i understand i-?? what did you just say?”

jungkook also feels like there’s definitely something in the air this morning and it’s not weed lol

jin greeted him and yoongi nodded at him??? it felt as weird yet gratifying as a nickelodeon show crossover

all of you are immersed in casual and playful chatter in a somehow haze!! seokjin’s on autopilot preparing four (!!) bowls and yoongi’s getting the family (!!) cutlery instead of the disposable visitor ones

which is why the moment you ask a seemingly-loaded question, everyone just immediately snappeD out of it and was brought back to reality

“would you hate me?”

“never.” (jungkook fervently shakes his head no that his neck felt like it was unscrewed at one point)

“i would gaslight everyone and everything for you.” (yoongi snickers with his hands across his chest, actually thinking that he could also gaslight anything for you even if it’s an inanimate object)

“depends.” (jin carelessly shrugs as he tries to convince himself that you wouldn’t commit arson to his dream shared house with you and yoongi)

...

well they really didn’t let you finish ://

“thank you, but i didn’t mean it that way,” you snicker in thought at each of their answers, giving jungkook a grateful pat on his knee

yoongi almost scowls at that but he, along with jin, catches your incessant gaze

oh the question is meant for the two of them???

“would you hate me if i convince the two of you to split with me the cost of a canvas painting?”

a what

since wHEN are you into canvas paintings???

the two of them have their mouths slightly ajar and even jungkook’s joining in because even if he’s nOt included in this conversation, he’s also surprised???

“like an old abstract painting?” jin grimaces and therefore breaks the silence, blindly folding in his fluffy pancake mix to look at your reaction

“god, no,” you shudder already at the thought of an old painting with asbestos you can’t gauge the meaning of being hung at the large empty wall, “it’s for our dorm.”

.... oh?

they aren’t really against chipping in for an item that only yOU would benefit from, but it’s kinda exciting to think that all three of you are involved

“how big is this painting that you’re talking about?”

yoongi asks in deep thought, already thinking about nails and screws (which probably aren’t allowed) and the backup heavy-duty mounting tape

he’s curious already!!!! screw him!!!

“really?” your eyes considerably widen, looking at the teo of them, both shrugging at each other and that’s already your seal of approval!!! see!! you didn’t even have to plead :D

“A1 — that’s what the guy said. i found him on instagram!!”

yoongi narrows his eyes at you unironically, tch-ing at what you just said

“i don’t speak in barbecue sauce, y/n.”

.,.,.,...,. pls

jin snorts extra loudly because yoongi’s completely serious and not kidding at all when he only knows A1 as a goddamn brand of sauce instead of an actual measurement

“A1 means 23x33 inches in sizing, dumbass.”

the guy at the receiving end of chuckles only nods with newfound knowledge, already mapping it out

“what’s it about? i-i can chip in too if you’d like!!”

jungkook interjects sincerely, raising his hand out of classroom habit to which he sheepishly brings down

“it’s okay, koo. you don’t need to,” you reply back sincerely and effectively shut out the egging that yoongi and jin are giving him, something along the lines of “hey jungkook!! what if you pay for it whole, hm? you can come over for breakfast next time if you do.”

jungkook was really about to steal your phone and enter his card information in a sECOND if only you didn’t stop him

“the painting is to die for, y’know?” you hype it up as much as you could, holding jungkook’s hands in place so he can stop reaching for his wallet

“it’s a painting of a sheep on a field, with the mountains behind it, that says atleast we’re under the same sky!!”

it’s pretty much safe to say that jin and yoongs were ready to lay down their money right then and there

neither of you can put a finger on it but it just tOUCHES your heart!! it’s a piece that pops up in your mind every now and then and feels like a fond memory while at it

“...and sent! quick too — he already gave me the payment confirmation.”

that’s nice!! not even five minutes after you sent your proof of payment and he already acknowledged it

the fact that it’s already paid for now aND is probably gonna get delivered within a matter of days is exciting, really

“i think i’d toss and turn in bed until that painting arrives,” yoongi yawns in admission, going into town with the powdered sugar on his pancakes that you physically had to stop him

“i’d save that painting first when there’s a fire,” jin snickers but it’s not that well-received, getting a pointed glare in return from yoongi, “fine. i’ll save y/n first and then the painting.”

this is your happy place :-)

your three favorite boys in the whole entire world in the sAME room!! and they’re not arguing!! there’s now dwelling in the past!!

just mediocre tolerance from yoongi and jin’s side, then half-giddiness and half-nervousness from jungkook’s side

“when it arrives, i’ll take a picture of the three of you and get it printed!”

kook offers and it earns him a ruffle on his hair, surprisingly from jin, that makes him almost chOke on the most delicious pancakes he’s ever tasted

“thank you, koo.”

jungkook’s getting used to this, actually

normally he’d expect a kiss on his cheek for his wonderful offer!! or maybe a hand on his thigh!! but he’s slowly starting to realize that you’re not always a physically affectionate lover

he’s admittedly the clingier out of the two of you but it’s okay!! right!!!!!!! it is :D

he’s sitting beside you right now on the couch anyway!! he’ll take that

yoongi, however, will nOT take it because that’s his spot and jungkook’s taking it away from him >:( he’s only noticed now out of the twenty minutes the four of you have been sitting here

he’s sneakily scraping off the powdered sugar from his pancakes and to the edge of his plate, ready to spill it on jungkook so he’d have an excuse of pushing him to the bathroom and take his spot beside you

just one more scrape and-

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKKKKKKKKKKKK-!!!!!!

literally everyone jolts with the abrupt knocking on your door and it even panics you a little

“w-who’s that?” jungkook fidgets on his seat and raises his feet on the cushions (no one can scold him bc everyone is also preoccupied) and his hand grips on your forearm out of instinct

“are you expecting anyone?” you ask jin because this may just be namjoon who’s rushing to get inside because students might see him

“no one,” he shakes his head and turns to yoongi, “this yours?”

yoongi shakes his head, his hand still clutching at his chest, “didn’t even order anything online these past two weeks.”

this is okay!! robbers don’t knock on the door, right? :-)

you make the initiative to stand up but you get tugged almost immediately by the three of them, shrugging them off as calmly as you could

“i’ll just see, alright?”

you peep on the keyhole and you relax immediately, just seeing a delivery guy with a huge package

you open the door and jungkook sputters of why the hell you would, about to skid towards you when-

“hoseok?”

is that-

is that jung hoseok??

jung hoseok as in your junior, the one who’s notoriously known for throwing the coolest parties ever?? to which he gets even the seal of approval from his seniors??

the same hoseok who threw the party wherein jungkook was ditched by jimin and you needed to walk him home? the one who threw the party wherein tae slipped outside and you needed to take him to the hospital??

tHAT hoseok????

he’s kinda cool for all of that actually

“Y/N???”

he’s just as surprised as you are, mouth actually dropping agape

the both of you are so surprised that neither of you seem to acknowledge the mammoth of a package that he’s holding

...

....

“oh my god, you’re the one who ordered my painting!!!”

hoseok actually leaps to hug you and it’s a miracle that you’re not knocked over with his sheer force, giddily jumping up and down as if embracing you is not enough

he pulls off before you could even poke at him, instead holding you by your shoulders and jostling you lightly now

jungkook’s watching the whole thing unfold and he’s still quite stuck on the couch, head tilting in confusion

why.... is hoseok.... hugging you.....

why........ are you letting him..... hug you

“oh my god!!! you’re the one!!!!! i-i thought no one would buy from me because i’m a small business and i don’t have a lot of works right now and my style is different but — yoongi!!!!”

hoseok attaches to yoongi next and the older guy just chuckles, patting him on the back

they’re not really close and no one really hugs their senior like that, most especially yoongi, but here they are

“let me guess, you’re one of the three who bought it, right?? y/n messaged me saying that she has two friends chipping in and asked me that if i could, add in some freebies!! and i did!!!”

man,, hoseok is quick

“we didn’t know you’re the one who made it,” you admit which gets a lot of nodding from both parties

“i didn’t know either that you guys were the one who bought it!” hoseok exclaims and turns his head to jin, “mr. kim!!! thank you so much!! you complete the trio, right?”

you and yoongi are bAFFLED at hoseok hugging seokjin, or rather mr. kim, aka an official of student affairs

what’s even more baffling is that jin doesn’t look surprised at all

“you two — i- uhm? i don’t-...”

“... hoseok’s my plug. our plug, actually.”

hoseok doesn’t even look the least bit fazed, even nodding and laughing as he raises his hand

“i’m a business major!!”

ok wait maybe that does explain everything

jungkook’s so lost looking at the scene in front of him and frankly, he doesn’t know if he’s still included at this point

he’s frazzled when hoseok’s eyes slightly widen at the sight of him but later grin at him, looking back at you to wiggle his eyebrows

“and jungkook, is a stem major.”

it seems like no one but jungkook is surprised at hoseok’s sudden barging presence in the dorm

no one is batting an eye when he invites himself to stay and plop on the couch

“here, you can have mine.”

jungkook helplessly looks at you when you offer yOUR plate (that has one whole pancake left) to hoseok and leave him be

no one’s questioning him because after all, the three of you are busy unwrapping the package while he continues to explain

“what was i saying again? oh right!! i panicked when i saw the money transferred to my account because even if we were chatting, at first i was a littlE hesitant because like, bogus buyers amirite??” he speaks through a mouthful of pancakes, “and then you paid!! and i saw the address and tHEN i was really excited and like panicked? i didn’t want to get it shipped when you’re this near because that’s expensive!! and i wanted to thank the three of you personally!!”

“— which is why i sprinted all the way here!!”

that explains hoseok’s breathless and sweaty state, the whole tale of him bumping into the dean at one point and almost stomping on a pigeon making everyone entertained

everyone besides jungkook.

is it just him or is everyone’s eye twitching right now

is this his dorm? no. but does he feel like hoseok’s intruding, regardless if he lives in here or in the perspective of a fellow visitor? yes.

apparently, nONE out of the three of you seem to think so

because it’s all so good!! hoseok probably lives in your dorm too because why else would you give up your breakfast for him??

the three of you are actively fawning over the painting and jungkook’s just sO sure that it’s giving hoseok the biggest ego boost of his life ://

they just share a class or two, they aren’t really close anyways

hoseok’s the type to be intimidating and popular at the same time but surprisingly, he’s friendly in a way

ok maybe jungkook’s just getting a little over in his head rn

if he leaves, then it’s also hoseok’s time to leave!!!

he’s already practicing the words in his head

“come on hoseok, they’re the furthest thing away from being done at fawning. let’s walk together back to the dorms.”

he’s about to say it when-

“anyone have a headband i can borrow?”

hoseok asks aloud and effectively catches everyone’s attention, making you stand up in agreement

what the fuck is actually happening

jungkook watches you hand one of the headbands you wear during your games to hoseok, a guy you barely know, like it’s no big deal?????

that headband smells like your hair!!! the hair that he loves to bury his nose into and plays with!!!

that’s yours and you’re giving it to hIM?

jungkook’s stomach actually drops even if he just finished eating minutes ago, ina daze looking at hoseok putting it on his blonde hair

he doesn’t know what’s stemming from his heart nor what his tummy’s telling him, but jungkook doesn’t like it at all.

“i’m going home,” kook murmurs behind you who’s instructing yoongi and jin to level the painting some more, snaking his arm around your waist

“really? oh, okay. text me when you get home.”

you only sweetly smile at him and jungkook’s actually awaiting the offer of you walking him home, but it doesn’t come

that’s okay!

“bye. love you.”

he softly says yet it’s enough for everyone to hear, his hand still secured snugly on your waist

jungkook’s about to go for a kiss on your cheek because he’s sURE that both yoongi and jin would scowl at him if he took it any further, but he catches hoseok at the corner of his eye and it’s all out the door

he unexpectedly presses a chaste kiss on your lips and playfully drags out the mwah! at the end, much to the daggers your friends send him

that’s enough!! hoseok already saw — you’re taken by him. jungkook doesn’t need to worry now that hoseok knows :)

...

....

...... he may have spoken too soon

he’s already established that you’re taken by him, that’s great! even hoseok teases him when they see each other the next day

was that an ego boost? yes

what wasn’t an ego boost is seeing hoseok talking to him and parading the halls with your headband on!!

that’s yOUR headband!!! not his!!! what happened to merely borrowing it?

did he just happen to steal it from you, or did you just let him steal it from you?

jungkook positively thinks that’s the end of this whole heart-clenching

hoseok has your headband but jungkook has you. it’s clear who’s actually winning in life

but god is jungkook wrong again

he texted you in the same morning on what you were doing since you had your classes cancelled for today with no professors coming in

going to brunch with hobi instead of sleeping all day. jin’s in the office and yoongi’s out on grocery duty. have fun w your classes :)

Hobi???

Uhm I literally just passed him in the halls two minutes ago

really? lmao that means he’s skipping class then

no because hold on

hoseok’s sKIPPING class to go to brunch with you?

you’re going to brunch with him???

HOBI?????

jungkook uncomfortably tucks his phone back into his pocket as class starts, chewing at his bottom lip

do you want him to skip classes so he could go to brunch with you?

better yet, is hoseok better than him because it’s no problem for him to skip classes??

now that he thinks about it, jungkook hasn't skipped even a single day of classes ever since freshman year

he used to take pride on his attendance but now he uh kinda wants a blank mark on his card actually

he could go to lengths of skipping classes if you asked him to!! he can!! of course he'll do that for you

but you don't ask him to and it's obvious that you only learned now how hoseok's able to meet you in the first place, but the reason behind it didn't seem to faze you

in fact, it looks like you're even amused

jungkook has to physically shake his head to get rid of his thoughts but that doesn't do anything

he's still thinking about you and hoseok during class.

he's trying not to dwell on it but it's difficult when he's always reminded of it

every time he comes over, the painting is GLARING at him and that's the reason jungkook just keeps his eyes on you for literally the whole time that he's there

your phone sometimes dings and it's a tiktok notification of hoseok sending you one

everything he does, hoseok and his outrageously blonde hair just seems to follow him

you had cat fur on the sleeve of your hoodie because you pet the campus cat awhile ago and jungkook was about to shriek because even that reminded him of the guy

all he's done this week is become bothered and frustrated to the point that even jimin, oftenly the most clueless and easy-going guy in the room, noticed it

"trouble in paradise?"

jimin's cool voice is the first thing that snaps him out of his anti-hoseok tirade in his mind, his eyes landing on his roommate lazily

it's actually jimin's red hair that makes jungkook look twice because when he saw him in the morning, he was still blonde

....,.,. blonde....?

"jimin?"

"hmm? am i right? is it rEALLY trouble in-"

"remember that time you ditched me in hoseok's party? or that time i made your paper because you forgot and you were hung-over and then you ended up getting an A?"

jimin's head tilts at jungkook's enumeration, blinking owlishly at him

".... yeah?"

"good," jungkook nods in acknwoledgement at jimin's recall, "because i think i'm gonna cash in the favors that you owe me."

it's pouring

it hasn't rained in so long and it's raining sO hard that you might have to look for a candle later on

it was on the news anyway that it was gonna rain this hard but no one really expected that it'd be this hard!!

nonetheless, jungkook soothed your worries and said he'd come over because the two of you haven't seen each other in like three days

maybe it's just you but something feels off with jungkook

oddly, he's gotten a little bit more attached to you yet weirdly distant at the same time

for some reason, he asks a lot more questions too

just yesterday, he sent you a screenshot of a white polo, asked if it looked good, and proceeded to immediately purchase it once you said it looked nice

just because you don't frequently comment on what you notice, doesn't exactly mEAN you don't care about it

jungkook's a big boy!! an adult!! if he wants to say something to you, then he says it

he always has the words in his head, that much you know

but yOU, however.,.,.,

you really don't have the words right now

because as soon as you open the door, your eyes land on your boyfriend

your boyfriend in his usual hoodie who's been growing out his hair and is looking very much blonde and different

“you’re blonde?”

you rhetorically ask in shock and you're clueless to the fact that you look like a fish out of water, your hands unconsciously darting out to his chest

“hmm, you like it?”

jungkook hums and tries to keep the giddiness he feels at bay just seeing you look gobsmacked, your hands moving from his collarbones to his neck and finally, to his hair

you offer no answer because you find yourself kissing jungkook before you could even let him in and close the door

he mewls in satisfaction when you kiss him deeper and cup his cheeks, his hands finding no hesitance in pushing your bodies closer by the waist

"my handsome boy," you mumble at one point in the kiss, eternally grateful that the two of you are the only one in the dorm right now

jungkook preens at your attention, mumbling to your lips before he makes the move to kiss you determinedly

“you like me better than hoseok?”

in a single second, he doesn't feel you kissing back at all

he's so confused as he pulls away, dark brows, in contrast to his blonde hair, knitted in confusion

“quit it.”

there's no actual edge to your tone but you feel like it, an incoming realization starting to dawn on you

jungkook's oblivious to your boiling irritation, clueless to how the dots are connecting in your mind and how you're not sure on how to tackle them

“what did i do? i was just asking you if you like me better than him.”

he says nonchalantly and it's the tone that irks you — as if his seemingly harmless question didn't reveal what he really wanted to get at

“i’m with you, jungkook. has that not been established enough yet?”

your voice is still calm yet you trudge away from him, your boyfriend quick on his heels to trail behind you

“i mean you did kiss me on the mouth just now,” jungkook points out as if you weren't aware. “because i’m blonde just like hoseok.”

“oh my god."

it was just a strong hunch at first but hearing it first-hand from jungkook accelerates your sentiment for what he did even faster, your eyes rolling to the back of your head that rubs him the wrong way

he runs his hand through his hair out of habit, reminding you even more that it's bleached and blonde yet for all the wrong intentions

“is asking you so wrong? why are you getting defensive?”

you snicker at his inquiry, hands across your chest that just challenges him to do the same

“what’s wrong is that you dyed your hair blonde for no other reason besides the fact that hoseok is!”

now that jungkook hears it from you, his eyes narrow

“can’t i just be inspired?” he snaps, “can’t i be inspired to look this way because you look at him in that way?”

what?

wHAT????

“what way, jungkook?”

seemingly caught in a blindspot, he tries to backtrack

“i-i’m not-“

you're having none of it and to be honest, you're not even sure if it just pure anger that you're feeling at the moment

“you spent hours in a salon, is that it?" you prod him and that makes jungkook avoid your eyes, huffing under his breath, "got jimin to help you out?" that actually hits a nerve on him and makes his eyes zero in on you with much annoyance, "what did you go through just because you’re so inspired?”

“you look at hoseok like you’re in love with him!”

“i’m not in love with hoseok, jungkook!" you articulate every word but even that seems to anger jungkook further, "why would you even think of that?”

“because you’re only supposed to look at me that way. y-you’re not supposed to go to brunch with a guy alone when you just met him. you’re not supposed to lend him your headbands when he can just buy them! you’re not supposed to do the things you’d do with me with other guys!”

“he’s my friend. just like yoongi and jin are. i can do these things with them but that doesn’t mean i love you any less.”

jungkook rolls his eyes and even your profession of love doesn't budge him at all

“there you are with your guy friends again.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

you feel him treading to dangerous territory but you stand your ground regardless, your voice shaking when you add

“yoongi and jin came into my life way before you did, jungkook.”

it was to simply remind him but he feels as if it's out of spite, looking at you pointedly before patronizingly chuckling

“i know. i can never win with you, that’s it, right? just because you’re older than me by a year and you have friends that want to beat me up — you always win!”

his voice raises by the end of his sentence and it's his words that make you grind your teeth together and your nostrils flare, lip dangerously close to trembling

“i’m sorry if i’m jealous and i don’t know what to do because this is the first time i’ve become a boyfriend, alright?"

jungkook throws his head back and gestures to you, shaking his head while he's so close to crying because of his pent-up insecurity

“i’m sorry that i don’t know what to do and you always do because you probably had like ten boyfriends before me, right?? i’m so inexperienced and new to you that you can’t even stand me and-“

there's pin-drop silence in the room.

jungkook only realizes his words belatedly and the weight that they carry, eyes in a stand-still on you who looks the furthest thing from being appeased at him

you're actually hurt.

“how dare you, jungkook.”

your fists are balled to the point that the tips of your fingers feel numb from the pause in circulation, but oddly enough, jungkook feels the most remorseful when he sees your figure deflate and therefore relax

“don’t come home, it’s pouring. or go back to your dorm, whatever. i don’t care.”

he's planted by his feet but he realizes to move when you're walking out of your own dorm, prying away his hand from your elbow

“you can sleep in my room. i’m sleeping out tonight.”

part two

as always, lmk what you think!! i love answering asks :D what do you want to see from the lunchbox lovers next? send them here <3

#stem koo #stem koo misc.#jungkook angst #jungkook imagine #jungkook oneshot #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #jungkook fic #jungkook oneshots #jungkook fanfic #jungkook au #jungkook college au #jungkook scenarios

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thatsgay-writes · 4 years ago

Note

Catra x twin!sister reader where reader travels in alot of planets to find her sister and when she landed on etheria she explored the whispering woods and found melog, with their help she found glimmer and she led her to her castle and she finally met her sister. Catra wasn't pleased about it thinking that her family abounded her she just pushes reader away and goes to her room. Reader stays and went to deal with catra. They talked (mostly arguing) and in the end catra and reader hugs and they became very dear friends.

(I'm basically making you a nicer version of Catra with super girl powers (which you don't use in the story) and Lena Luthor as your wife because why not. I am also putting everyone in their early to late 20s... I also forgot to add Melog :( sorry.)

"Space log, day... 2000?" You mumble as you speak into the recorder on your ship. "It's been... 4 years since my son was born. 8 years since my people finally fully integrated with the civilization of our sister planet. 10 years since I renounced my royal title. 12 years since I met the love of my life. 16 years since my home world was destroyed by the Horde and my parents were killed. And... 24 years since I have last seen my baby sister." You breath out, having lost hope after so many years of things going wrong. "Lena and Madden have stayed on the planet Oa while I explore this last planet. It appeared almost 2 years ago and was the last place the Horde had ever been. Who or whatever is on the planet must be powerful." "This... This will be the final planet I explore. I have no hope of seeing my sister again." God you were so tired of the disappointment you felt every time you couldn't find your sister. "Happy 26th birthday." You mumble out as you get closer to the new planet. "End log."

---

"This is spaceship Kr 97. Requesting permission to land. I repeat requesting permission to land." You spoke into your radio, hoping to hear anything back. Maybe this planet didn't have the technology yet for radios? "If anyone can hear me. My name is Y/n and I come in peace. I will be landing my ship on your planet and will wait 2 days before exploring on my own." You say into your radio before putting it back where it had been hanging and controlling your ship into the planets atmosphere. It was a little bit of a bumpy landing but you landed your ship just fine on the outskirts of what seemed to be a forest. You set a 48 hour alarm on your phone. You weren't sure how the people or creatures of the planet told time, so you just stuck with what you knew. It had kept you alive so far anyways.

"Alrighty." You say to yourself as you step off of your ship. You take a deep breath as you feel the yellow sun power you up. "48 hours, let's get to work."

---

You spent the next two days cleaning up in and around your spaceship, setting up a camp, and watching how the forest worked so you knew what you could eat and what you couldn't. You had been sitting on the ground relaxing when you hear your timer go off. You click the loud noise off and stand up, grabbing the bag you had prepared. While learning the forest, you had seen some villages that seemingly lead towards somewhere and you had decided that the best course of action was to hop from village to village to see if their was a kingdom or something of that nature that you could get into contact with. You just hoped everyone was nice and that this wouldn't be a hard planet to navigate.

---

The first town you enter seems to be a farming village. You can tell because you had to walk through fields and saw, what you assume, were the livestock on the planet. You stood behind some trees for a while as you assessed how the villagers acted. You watched as kids ran around playing with their friends, shopkeepers and homeowners leaving their windows open in the nice weather, clearly not scared of being robbed. You decide that it's safe enough to enter and you have your powers to back you up incase things go wrong. It was weird because the planet had 3 moons and only 1 sun, usually planets had the suns out number moons but it was enough. You fix your cloak over your ears and tuck them back so they wouldn't be noticeable or a defining characteristic if things went sideways.

You walk slowly through the village, having expected to get some attention from your large black robe. And you do get some curious looks but it's mainly all friendly smiles. You are almost halfway through the village, aiming to enter one of the shops and ask around, when a something hits your leg. You look down and see a ball a few inches in front of your foot. You pick it up, making sure to retract your claws, and hold it out to the toddler who was staring at you and his ball. "Here you go." You say to him as you hold the ball out and shake it a little so his attention goes to it. He waddles up to you and takes the ball from you. He stares at it for a few seconds before making motions with his hands, wanting you to hold him.

Without hesitating, you pick him up and hold him close to your chest. "Where is your mother, kitten?" You ask him as he reaches up to play with your ear that were still under your hood. "Kitty!" He squeals as he knocks the hood off your head and you hear an audible gasp from behind you. "Oh my gosh, Catra I am so sorry! We didn't think you were visiting till next week. We would have prepared a feast for you and the rest of the princesses." You turn around and see an elderly looking man, who's eyes widen at the sight of you. "Have you gotten taller and cut your hair again?" He asks confused. You give him a small smile, "I'm sorry but I'm not this Catra you speak of. Are you saying there is someone similar looking to me on your planet?" You ask and the man gives you a weird look when you call it his planet but slowly nods his head. You feel hope for the first time in years and eagerly ask the man if you could stay near the town till she came next week. He gave you a bit of a weird look, not sure who you were now and unsure of your intentions, even though your reaction was positive. "Sure."

---

After returning the toddler to his mother, you basically sprinted back to your ship in excitement. "Lena! Lena!" You shout happily into the radio on your ship. Time is a little different on the planet as the sun was just starting to set but it would already be completely dark on Oa. But by your clock it was only 9, so Lena and Madden should still be awake. "Y/n?" You hear your name crackle through the radio and a smile appears on your face. "Lena you'll never believe it! There is someone on this planet that supposedly looks just like me and vice versa!" You say into the radio, feeling like a kid on Nova day. "I think it's her... I hope its her." You say as you image seeing your sister again for the first time in 24 years. "I'm so happy for you y/n! We will start making preparations to join you soon." You bite your lip in thought. "Maybe you should wait... I just wouldn't want to overwhelm her, you know?" You can almost hear Lena nodding on the other end of the phone. "That makes sense, we'll plan to leave by the end of the week if everything goes well."

"Geez I love you so much." You mumble with a wide grin. "And Madden too. Is he still up?" "No he fell asleep a few minutes before you radioed, he spent all day playing." "Oh well, tell him I love him and I'll radio back in the morning." "Okay, bye." "Bye."

---

"We need to be very careful about this." Glimmer says as she and the best friend squad enter the village who sent a letter the day before about someone who looked like Catra in their village. "We already knew that there were other people out there but as we already know not all of them are friendly." Catra walks next to Adora, numbly nodding along. Could this be it? Could she finally learn where she came from? Everyone else in the Horde had been born into it and Adora had come through a portal but no one really knew where Catra was from. "Are you okay?" Adora asked as she squeezed Catra's hand, nervous at how silent her girlfriend was. Catra just mutely nods back.

---

"This planet is simply marvelous!" The group hears you laugh out after being greeted by the village leader. "They look almost just like you Catra." Bow comments as they watch your tall figure move around as you play with the kids of the village and let them climb all over you. "Y/n!" You hear someone call your name and turn to see the village leader standing with a group of people and... Catra. They watch as you freeze and let your mouth fall open in shock. You set the kids down and encourage them to go play together. You walk towards the group with a smile. You go down the line of friends shaking their hands and introducing yourself, ignoring their looks of surprise, before finally reaching Catra. "Wow..." You breathe out in absolute awe. You can feel your eyes get misty the longer you stare at her. "You look so much like mom." You say with a watery laugh that completely sets Catra off.

"Who are you?" She asks as she pushes her finger into your chest making you take a step back. "What? Catra, I'm your sibling. I thought the similarities would make that clear." She glares at you and you can feel the whole village watching the interaction. "Just because we look similar doesn't mean anything." You move quickly and grab her right hand and hold it up next to your left one, both birthmarks showing.

You watch as Catra freezes. Her face and body come to a complete stop as her eyes flicker between the identical birthmarks and your face. "I know you must have questions and I do too. But I have spent the last 8 years going all across the galaxy looking for you and right now all I want is a hug... Please?" You get out as you let go of Catra's hand only for her to push you away one last time and storm into a temporary tent that had been set up for the best friend squad.

You take a second to take a breath before following after her. "I wouldn't follow after her, she needs time to cool down." A blonde, Adora, said to you as she placed a hand on your should to stop you. "I've dealt with people with anger issues before." You say as you brush her hand off. "I know how to handle this." You say and walk towards the tent again, not giving anyone a chance to stop you.

---

"You can't hide away in here sister." You say as you enter the tent, dodging a pillow that was thrown at your head. "Don't call me that." She mumbled angrily. "And why not, you are my sister are you not? I mean everyone saw the birth mark." Catra stands up angrily. "If you were my sister, you would have spent longer than 8 years looking for me! And how can you even compare me to this "mom" that I know absolutely nothing about!? Where are they anyways, huh? Where's great old mom and dad that I have spent the last 25 years not knowing about!" She unloads onto you and your feel your heartbreak at how disheveled she looked. You shouldn't have assumed everything would be smiles and laughs when the two of you first met.

"26." "Huh?" "You're... We're 26. Our birthday was 2 days ago." "So I don't even know my own birthday!" Catra explodes. "Get out." She says suddenly and quietly. "What?" "I said get out." She repeats and you shake your head at her. "I'm not leaving." You watch as Catra's hair stand up. "I am giving you one last warning, get out now or I will do something I might not regret." You cross your arms and stare her down. "I have spent the last 8 years planet hopping with my family looking for you. I. Am. Not. Leaving."

Catra jumps at you suddenly, attempting to scratch, hit, kick, do anything to make you leave the tent. Instead of doing what she wanted, you just wrapped her in a tight hug and sat on the ground. You stay like that for a while, her trying to hold back sobs and angry tears before finally letting go and you just rubbing circles on her back to try and calm her down. "Why?" Is all she says after almost an hour of being in that position. "Why what?" "Why now?" You let out a sad sigh at her question. "Mom and Dad are dead, killed by the Horde Prime and his followers when I was 10." You can feel Catra flinch at how blunt you were and the fact that she had worked for the Horde only a few years ago. "You had already been missing for 8 years at that point, multiple search teams being sent out but none could find you." You squeeze Catra tighter as you feel yourself relive all the grief that you carried for the past 16 years.

"I managed to get most of our people off the planet and to our sister planet before the Horde completely destroyed everything. Got everyone situated on that planet, met the love of my life, renounced my claim to any throne, and finally I started looking for you." It's silent for a few minutes as Catra absorbed everything you said. "So..." You asked as you wiped your tears off your face. "What about you?"

You and Catra spent the rest of the night and next day sharing stories about your childhood and how differently but similar the two of you had grown up. You even got to tease her about Adora and the fact that you were, technically, her older sister by 2 minutes. You were also very excited when you got to show Catra around the ship you had taken to get to Etheria.

---

"So I am guessing everything went well?" Lena asked over the radio after you finally called her about coming to Etheria. "It was a little rocky at the beginning but we smoothed things over... She's great Lena, you guys are gonna love each other." You say with a giant smile on your face as you look at Catra who was relaxing in the copilot seat next to you.

#Catra x reader #x reader #spop #spop x reader #she ra and the princess of power fanart #she ra and the princesses of power x reader #platonic

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kingofkingdom-archive · 4 years ago

Text

1979

Pairing: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x Fem!Reader

Part ONE (Read part 2 HERE)

Rating: T (Teen) - part 2 will be E

Summary: The year is 1979. You need a ride to anywhere that’s far away from where you are. When a handsome stranger in a rustbucket pickup gives you that ride, neither of you could predict any of the events that follow.

Warnings: Smoking (and lots of it), mild violence (a punch is thrown), brief harassment of reader, food, mention of a gun (one is encountered but not used), mention of homelessness, brief mention/description of war (Vietnam), child abandonment, mention of abusive/dangerous father figure, passing mention of serial killers, vague description of non-specific events leading up to reader resorting to hitchhiking, very meta mention of a certain beloved space opera

Word count: 5.7k

A/N: Whew! This one has been in the shop for a LONG while. Originally I meant for this to be a single work, but I’ve hit a bit of a slump with the last bit. I decided to post this to see how y’all feel about it! The second part will be much longer :) Also: I know there has been some discourse recently about Din’s characterization in certain fics, so I hope this does him justice for you! I’m always open to comments, and like I said I’m very interested in hearing what you think! As per usual, no use of Y/N and please heed the tags/warnings.

8:47

You lean against the streetlight, glancing down at your watch and then back up to the motel across the street. You told yourself you'd wait until 8:30 and then you'd go back and reserve a room for another night. As you watch the second hand wind its way around the small, plain face of your 2-dollar timepiece, you've convinced yourself that maybe staying out until 9 is the ticket.

Your ticket, out of this shithole town.

The summer air is hot and thick around you. It's especially unbearable both between your legs and at the band of your bra, the elastic stretched around your middle doing its best to make you feel as sweaty and uncomfortable as possible. At least you're wearing your cutoffs, giving your legs the chance to breathe. You've also got a loose tank on, which flutters in the sticky wind as cars pass you by.

8:51

Your thumb has been stuck out for passerby to see for the past three days. No one has picked you up. You suppose you should be more wary of taking lifts from complete strangers with all the murder and kidnapping that's been in the news recently, but you're more than a little headstrong with a dash of stupid to go along. That's what your mother always told you, anyway.

Some Cadillac speeds past you, blaring what you think is a Donna Summer song, and you watch as the music and taillights fade into the night.

You shouldn't be surprised, you figure, as the minutes continue to tick on by. There's a gas shortage, you reason with yourself as you bend down to pick up your bag, thumb still stuck out, elbow resting on your waist. People don't do this anymore. Afraid of getting picked up by a pervert or a killer. Afraid of picking one up, and then a streetlight just like the one you're under is the last thing they see.

8:58

You sigh, ready to head in for the night. Marvin, dude who sits at the motel's front desk, is sure to give you shit about it again.

You're preparing to cross the street when you hear the low growl of a pickup truck approach. Not looking to get creamed by some fuckin' rusted-out GMC, you step back onto the curb where you'd been posted.

Except the truck slows up, and the window rolls down as it crawls to a stop in front of you.

Your heart races. Finally.

You walk up to the passenger side window and look in, expecting some fat old putz looking to get some tail in exchange for a ride.

That's not what you see.

"Need a lift, young lady?"

The truck's driver is older than you, sure, but you were wrong about pretty much everything else. He's got short dark hair and a 'stache, with some stubble across his chin. He's wearing a leather jacket over a plain gray tee, with a pair of sunglasses hung on the collar. One hand is on the wheel while the other is laid across the back of the bench seat, a cigarette perched in between his first two fingers.

You lean forward on your tiptoes as best you can, forearms resting on the door's open window. Pretending to survey the interior, you look around and take the opportunity to check the man out. God, you think. I wouldn't mind giving him whatever he wants in exchange for this ride. Maybe another kinda ride. Ha!

"As it turns out, I do. You offering?"

You rest your chin on your arms and give him the sweetest smile you can muster. The man eyes you up and takes a drag from his cigarette. You watch with rapt attention as he inhales deeply and then exhales the smoke out through his nose.

This guy's got you all hot and bothered and you haven't even gotten in the truck.

He gestures with his hand. "Come on, kid. I gotta make the state line by midnight."

You definitely like the sound of that. Eager and supremely stoked to finally have a way out of this dump, you pull on the handle, jump in, and swing the door closed behind you. Your backpack finds its place between your feet, and the stranger starts driving again as you pull your seatbelt across your shoulders.

"Where're you headed?" the man asks, glancing over to you and then looking back at the road. The asphalt seems to stretch into infinity, flanked by trees and fields and the occasional watering hole.

"Away from here," you chuckle as you fidget with your fingers. Black nail polish decorates your trimmed nails. It's chipped and uneven in some spots; you never were great at painting your nails, especially your right hand.

"I got that," the man drawls, voice deep and smooth like honey. "Any particular destination in mind?"

You shrug. To be honest, you hadn't exactly thought that far ahead. Your first and only priority was a way out, and anything after that was a problem to be handled when it came to it.

"Nope. Just as far as you're willing to take me."

The guy nods and takes a drag. The smell of cigarettes never bothered you like it does some other people; you find it relaxing, calming, especially when it's fresh and all-consuming like it is in this guy's truck. The vehicle itself is old, maybe 10 or 15 years, and a glance into the bed behind you tells you he's traveling with a couple boxes and nothing more.

It's certainly not state-of-the-art, but that's all the better for staying under the radar.

The silence looms over you like a cloud. The stranger seems content to just listen to the engine and the tires on the road, but you're prone to fill silences unprompted.

"What's your name?" you ask, and look over at him. He glances at you and raises a brow.

He clears his throat, eyes moving back to the road. "You can call me Mando."

"Mando?" you retort before you can stop yourself. "What kinda bogus name is that? Like, what... you got a thing for mandolins or some shit?"

The man huffs. "It is what is, kid. Get used to it."

You sigh, crossing your arms. "Alright, alright... Mando."

He doesn't try to continue the conversation, so you don't either. Minutes pass, and then hours, and you find yourself drifting off not too long after the clock reads 10:00. You shake yourself awake, wanting to stave off sleep until he pulls over to rest for the night.

But the engine is like a lullaby, the soft swaying of the truck a gentle rocking motion, and your eyes fall closed despite your best efforts.

When you wake up again, the truck is no longer moving, and the clock reads 12:30.

You must have been woken up by Mando putting the truck into park. The darkness outside does not give any clues as to where you are, but as your eyes adjust you can just make out some picnic tables, garbage cans, and signs.

A rest area. Makes sense.

Mando is fumbling with something beside you. It's a map, you realize when you look over.

"Where are we?" you ask with a yawn.

"Just over the border. Made it a bit later than I would've liked, but that's not a big deal. You can sleep here in the cab. I'll take the bed, since I sleep there anyway."

You nod, though you find it odd the way he's... not asking you for anything. He hasn't mentioned payment, monetary or otherwise. You watch as he folds the map back up, and catch his gaze as he stashes it in the glove box.

"I gotta repay you somehow, mister," you mutter. "For how nice you're bein' to me. 'Specially since I made fun of your name and all."

At your words, Mando gives you a stern look from under one of his furrowed brows. "No, you don't. Blanket's under the seat. Get some rest."

He turns away, grabs the keys, and is out the door before you can reply.

It's just so unusual for a guy to pick up a girl like you and refuse payment, much less not ask for or take it outright. It's a shame, really. Any other guy, you'd give him what he wanted sure, but with less than enthusiastic participation. The one man to whom you'd gladly deliver anything he asked... and he seems not to want it.

You suppose you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Better a prude than a murderer, that's for sure.

As you reach under the seat for the blanket, your hand brushes against some sort of canvas bag, long and zippered. You lean over to look in at it upside-down, hair brushing against the dusty floor mats.

It's a rifle bag. You reach in to feel at where the barrel would be, and sure enough, there's something distinctly rifle-shaped inside.

Huh. It's not a surprise that a guy like him's traveling armed, but it makes you wonder. A hunter, maybe? Probably. There's a lot of those around.

You spot the blanket and pull it out. It's gray, scratchy wool, but as you pull it over yourself, you find it keeps the nighttime chill away quite well.

You wake up to Mando swatting at your feet.

"Time to get up, sunshine. Gotta get going."

His deep voice pierces through the fog of sleep still hanging thick over your mind. You groan and push yourself up onto your elbows, drawing your feet in to give him space to slide into the drivers' seat.

It's still dark out. You see a hint of light on the horizon, the beginning of the sunrise peeking over hills and fields.

"What time is it?" you ask, rubbing at your eyes. You're a chronic over-sleeper, so seeing the sunrise is a rarity. It seems Mando has no such problem.

"A bit after six. We'll stop at a diner for something to eat in about an hour. You're welcome to go back to sleep until then." He turns the key in the ignition and the truck rumbles to life, a blast of lukewarm air hitting you in the face.

"No, no. I'm up," you assure him, shrugging the blanket off your shoulders. As you fold it, you look over at the man beside you. He's wearing the same faded jeans and leather jacket as yesterday, but the shirt underneath has changed. The sunglasses are still hung on the collar, but now it's some faded band tee from like 8 years ago.

You set the folded-up blanket on the seat between you and him, watching as he puts the truck into drive and starts off. Before you know it, you're watching the early-morning world pass by outside your window. You kick off your sandals and tuck your feet up under yourself, sitting crosslegged on the seat.

About 15 minutes later, you've grown tired of watching farmhouses and cornfields fly by in the dark.

"So, uh..." you start, not really knowing where you intend to finish your sentence, "you like music?"

Stupid. That was stupid.

Mando chuckles. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" you reply, hopeful that he might have more to say.

"Yes. I do like music."

You roll your eyes. "What kind of music? Jazz? Opera? Country-western? Who's your favorite artist? Got any favorite records?"

He glances over at you, a hint of a smile tugging at the edge of his lips. "You sure do ask a lot of questions."

"Well, I figure if I'm gonna be traveling with you for a good while, I might as well know a bit about you. And vice versa."

Mando just hums.

"I'll tell you mine, then," you inform him, grinning widely now. "My favorite record right now is Parallel Lines. By Blondie, you know? I really like them. This time last year I woulda told you my favorite album was something by Wire or the Sex Pistols - I was real into punk, if you know anything about it. Now I'm more into poppy stuff. I just think it's fun, to be honest."

You continue to ramble to Mando well into the drive. The sky grows lighter and the road grows more crowded, but he does not stop you. At the end of a tangent about Bowie, you turn to look at him, and he's sitting there like you haven't just talked his ear off for the past twenty minutes.

"Sorry. I jus-"

"Don't apologize. It's... I don't mind," he interrupts, not taking his eyes off the road.

You stretch your legs out in front of you, looking at the sandal-shaped marks on the tops of your feet. "Don't you have any particular songs you like?"

Mando's quiet for a minute. You wait, looking up out the window. The sky is a pale pink and blue, with a hint of orange off to the east. A field of cows comes up on your left - your eyes track them as they pass by, wondering what it's like to pet one.

You bet they're soft. Soft and cuddly and so dumb they're cute.

"You have to promise not to laugh."

The words come as a surprise. You look over to Mando, eyes wide and interested.

"Never. Favorite music is sacred."

He sighs. His grip tightens on the wheel, like sharing even a small part of himself causes him distress.

"Tapestry. Carole King," he says, though the words are quiet and guarded.

That wasn't the answer you were expecting. "Really?" you ask, smiling brightly.

He just nods, though he spares a glance towards you, like he's gauging your reaction. You lean back against the seat, turning towards him more fully.

"I wouldn't have guessed. Color me surprised, Mando. You have good taste." It's true. The album's a classic, though more so with girls your age, not guys who pick up hitchhikers and keep rifles in their trucks. "What do you like about it?"

Mando shifts, bringing his left arm up to rest on the door, elbow propped so his head can rest on his hand. "Not sure. She writes a good song, that's all I know."

You're not satisfied with that answer. You'll get to know Mando, even if it's like pulling teeth. "Bull-shit. Pink Floyd writes a good song. Paul Simon writes a good song. Why her? Why that record? It came out like ten years ago, there's gotta be a reason - a real reason - you still like it."

The drone of the engine and the road is like a soundtrack in itself to the silences that loom heavy before every sentence he speaks. You wonder when the last time he really got to talk to someone was - talk like this, not small conversation with the waiter or grocer.

You're no psychiatrist, but it doesn't take a genius to spot someone who's been alone for a while.

Mando hums. "I guess I relate to her songs... in a way I didn't expect to when I first heard her music."

You smile at that, pleased as punch that he trusts you with that information. It's like cupping cool water in your hands on a hot summer's day, fleeting and precious. "What's your favorite song on the record?"

He turns his gaze to your for a moment, dark brown eyes staring at your dirty feet and day-old shirt and messy hair. You're not sure what exactly he sees as he takes you in, but you sit there and allow it regardless.

Mando looks back to the road, watching the small town approaching slowly on the horizon. "I Feel the Earth Move."

You nod. "A classic."

He just hums in response, and you expect the truck to fill with silence once again.

Except it doesn't.

Mando reaches out and presses the button to turn on the radio. Blondie's Heart of Glass flows out through the speakers - and you laugh.

The glowing neon sign advertising Lindy's Diner, with her promise of pancakes and eggs and bacon and coffee, gets you more excited than you care to admit. Mando pulls into a parking spot along the street, and you're out the door before the wheels have stopped turning.

Admittedly, you do also have to pee.

You rush into the diner to take care of your business, also using the provided sinks to brush your teeth and the mirror to comb through your hair with your fingers.

It's not much, but you do feel better. Hopefully tonight you can stay in a motel at least, maybe take a shower.

You exit the restroom and look around the diner. Mando's sitting in a booth, smoking a cigarette and looking out the window. You head over, tossing your backpack into your side first and sliding in after it.

"I'll be right back," he says, and leaves. You watch him walk over to the men's restroom, the door swinging shut behind him.

Whatever. Kinda rude. Not like you care, anyway.

You lean back in the booth and take a menu from the stand at the end of the table. The classic breakfast platter is looking particularly tempting, with its hash browns and bacon and eggs-however-you-like. You're contemplating scrambled versus over-easy when you hear a pair of footsteps walk up to your table.

Two strange men stand over you, looking at you like they know exactly how homeless you really are.

"You here alone, baby?" the shorter one asks, putting a grimy hand on the back of your booth, right behind your head. You open your mouth to say no, in fact, I am not, but the other guy speaks for you.

"It looks like you are, honey. Just our luck, a girl like you all on her -"

"Is there a problem?"

Mando's deep voice cuts through whatever it was the creep was planning to say. The low timbre of his voice, normally soft and kind, is uniquely dark - almost menacing - when it hides a threat.

You slowly cross your legs, hoping no one notices the movement under the table.

The two guys turn, and behind them you see Mando, looking extremely pissed. He puts a hand on the back of the taller man's neck, cig still perched between his fingers, and yanks him away from where he'd been standing in front of Mando's side of the booth.

"Jesus, man! We didn't know you were -"

Mando puts his hands on his hips, eyeing them up like a lion might size up its prey. "What? You didn't know what?"

The guy gulps. "Uh..."

"Come on," Mando taunts, something dark glinting in his eyes. "Don't get nervous on me, now."

"We didn't know you were with her, man. Sorry."

Mando shakes his head. "No. Don't say that to me. Say it to her." He nods hid head towards you, subtly positioning his body in between yours and theirs.

You're frozen in your seat, torn between fear and arousal.

The tall guy glances at you. "Sorry," he mutters. The shorter one's still looking at you funny, though.

Your companion jerks his head towards the door. "It's best you both leave, now."

You realize the diner's gone quiet, customers and employees alike watching the exchange with bated breath. The taller guy glances around and turns, heading straight for the door. His buddy hesitates, gaze shifting from Mando to you and back again. Eventually he also turns to leave, following the other one out.

Mando slides into his seat, though he won't quite meet your gaze when you look at him. Noise picks up in the diner once again and you let out a shaky breath.

You're about to say something when the two guys pass by the window. The shorter one peers in, works his jaw, and spits on the ground on the other side of the window from you. You see him mouth the word 'bitch!'.

Rolling your eyes, you turn to Mando to try and joke about it, attempting to brush off the uncomfortable encounter. But he's not there, and you realize belatedly that he's now storming outside.

Mouth agape, you watch as Mando stalks up to the short guy. Jesus, you think, if looks could kill...

The creep whirls around, throwing a fist at Mando before he even gets a good look at him. Mando dodges it easily with a step back, looking simultaneously murderous and annoyed. He winds his arm back and sends his fist flying at the creep's face. The guy stumbles and falls, clutching at what is now a bloody and broken nose, landing on his back on the sidewalk. His friend has long run off.

Mando puts a boot on the guy's sternum, pressing down so he can't get up no matter how much he struggles.

You see him lean down, elbow on his knee, and say something. The guy's eyes widen and he nods frantically. Mando then removes his foot and, without sparing the guy a second glance, re-enters the diner.

He slides into the booth again and takes the menu from you. There's blood on the knuckles of his right hand, but he makes no move to wipe it off. He flips through the pages as if nothing happened. You stare at him.

"You didn't have to do that," you mutter, voice soft and wavering.

Without looking from the menu, he responds. "Yes, I did."

"But, you coulda just... just let him go..."

"I could have," he replies, and turns a page. "But I didn't."

"But -"

For the first time since you both entered the diner, he looks up at you, and you're taken aback the intensity of his eyes. "He deserved worse, kid. Far worse."

He sounds so sure of it that you can't bring yourself to say otherwise. You sigh and clasp your hands together on the table, unsure of where to go from here.

Just then, the waitress comes up to your table, notepad and pen in hand.

"You two know what ya want?" she asks as Mando puts the menu back in its place.

He gestures for you to go first.

"Uh, yeah. I'll have the classic platter with scrambled eggs and white toast. And black coffee, please."

The woman nods, writing your order on her pad. "And you, sir?"

"I'll have the blueberry flapjacks, please. And coffee, black, for me as well."

The waitress nods and turns away. As you watch her push through the silver kitchen door, you realize that maybe you should be grateful for the way things went. That they didn't get uglier.

That Mando was there at all.

"Thank you," you say softly, doing your best to convey your sincerity to the man sitting across from you.

He simply nods, observing you with a look you can't quite place.

After breakfast, the two of you set off down the highway again. Fleetwood Mac flows out through the speakers and you don't expect to stop until after noon, when Mando will have to refuel (both the truck and your stomachs). Until then you kick off your shoes and put your feet up on the dash, window cracked about an inch so the summer wind can flow through your hair.

Despite the rocky start to the morning, the hours pass by easily, weightlessly. Sometimes you talk with Mando, other times you simply sit and watch the world pass by. You don't think you've ever seen this much land in one go, and it thrills you. The idea that there's so much more.

The topics vary from your time in school to movies to the truck. You're surprised to find out that Mando's never seen Star Wars, a fact nearly unheard of to you. You promise yourself that you'll make him watch it sometime, somehow.

Lunch passes without incident; you insist on paying for your ham and cheese sandwich, because Mando had covered breakfast before you could protest. It hits the spot, along with your ice-cold Coke from the little market's freezer. There's a line to get gas, as there is everywhere, but luckily it isn't too long, since you're in the middle of nowhere. Mando won't be able to fill the truck up again for a few days, meaning you'll have to stop for the night earlier tonight than you did yesterday.

You do find something interesting at the market and you decide to shell out the money for it because it intrigues you. A new style of Kodamatic camera, complete with a pack of instant film - 12 potential photos.

In your mind you see pictures of mountains, and the truck, and Mando, and you stuff the camera in your bag before your mind can wander any further down that road.

You have to admit - traveling with someone who you know can protect you if the need arises is comforting in a way that almost makes you nervous. You keep telling yourself not to get used to it, that this is just a temporary situation for as long as he sees fit to keep you around. After he decides he's had enough, he'll leave you, and you'll be on your own again. You can't get too dependent on him.

Nighttime arrives much too quickly. The sun has just dipped below the horizon when you drive into another small town, not much more than a stoplight and a few bars. You get lucky, though, because the unmistakable neon of a motel glows just ahead.

"Thank god," you groan as Mando pulls into the parking lot. "I need a shower so goddamned bad."

Mando chuckles. His arm rests with his hand out the window, flicking the ash at the end of his cigarette out onto the pavement. The orange glow at the end of it brightens as he takes a drag, and you tear your eyes away from his lips before he can catch you staring.

That's another problem. He's every inch as attractive to you now as he was before, except now you know he's nice. The mustache and the dark curls and the broad expanse of his chest are all only made hotter by the knowledge that he likes Carole King and Elton John (he knew all the words to Tiny Dancer) and blueberry pancakes.

Plus there was that whole punching a guy to defend your honor business.

The guy at the motel's front desk reminds you of Marvin. Greasy blond hair and acne on a kid not much younger than you. You give him a disgusted look when he eyes you up, but he cuts it out when Mando walks in behind you. It gives you a small sense of satisfaction to see him so meek before your companion.

"We need a double for the night," Mando drawls, counting cash on the counter, cig perched between his lips. The sign advertised a night's stay for $22. You'd tried to pay Mando your share, but he'd refused your money.

The kid shakes his head. "Only got singles available."

Mando raises his brows. "Really."

The kid, whose name is Matt according to his name tag, nods. It takes Mando a moment to think on it, and then he looks to you.

You shrug. "I'm fine with it if you are, Mando."

He nods once and pays for the room. 12. You take the key and head over to get a head start on your shower while Mando parks the truck and gets his stuff.

The hot water feels divine. Even the towel feels great, because as threadbare and shitty as it is, it's clean and warm from sitting under the vent. You finish up in the bathroom and emerge in a pair of old track shorts and a loose-fitting tee.

Mando's sitting on the bed, back against the headboard. His jacket's draped across the table and he's kicked off his boots, so he sits with the remote in hand, barefoot. It's the most casual you've seen him thus far, and it makes your heart race.

"Shower's all yours," you tell him.

Mando looks at you from the corner of his eye. It's hard to tell what he's thinking at any given moment, so you fidget with the hem of your shirt as he looks at you.

A thought blooms unbidden in your chest. I wish I could kiss him.

You blink, taken aback at the sudden, intense nature of your desire to feel his lips against your own. Not knowing what else to do, you cross your arms and turn to the TV. Bonanza is on.

"Seen this episode before?" you ask. It's an old show, but you still like it.

Mando nods, humming. "Used to watch these every week, right when they came out. Only the first few seasons, though."

"Why'd you stop?"

He turns to sit on the edge of the bed, feet flat on the ground. He gives you a small smile, though his eyes hide something pained.

"I got drafted."

Oh. "Oh. I didn't mean -"

"It's fine," he says and gets up, brushing past you to enter the bathroom. The door clicks shut behind him.

You walk over to sit on the other side of the bed from where he was. Drafted. Jesus. You feel bad for bringing it up, even if it was unintentional. The TV plays though you aren't watching, mind wandering to thoughts of Mando in Vietnam. You picture him in the jungle or in a helicopter, the deafening noise of artillery and gunfire filling the air around him.

Maybe that's where he got the nickname. It certainly explains the rifle.

You reach over for the remote and shut off the TV. The clock on the wall reads about 8:00, still early for you, but you tuck yourself under the sheets and blanket regardless. You face the door, away from where Mando will sleep.

Just as you're drifting off, the lamp on the bedside table clicks off. You feel the weight of Mando crawling in beside you, and he too curls up on his side, back turned.

You fall asleep hoping he's not too upset with you.

The next thing you know, you're awake, though the world is still dark outside. Behind you, Mando snores softly, warm breath fanning out across your neck.

Wait.

You blink a few times and realize the two of you must have shifted in the night. Mando's body is pressed right against yours, chest to your back, arm draped over your middle and hand tucked under your chin. Your legs are intertwined and against the back of your thigh you feel -

You feel him.

Sleep is a powerful drug, however, and the realization is not enough to make you move. Your eyelids flutter shut, and you think maybe this isn't so bad. Your tired brain convinces you to revel in it, to enjoy this position you've found yourself in. Before you can second guess that reasoning, you drift off.

And then you're awake again.

This time it's thanks to a rush of cold wind in your face. You reach back to feel for Mando, but the warm pillow tells you he's not there. You open your eyes to see him standing in the doorway, looking down at something. It's still dark out, but the lights of the motel parking lot put him in silhouette before you.

"What is it?" You lean up on your elbow to get a better look. The nighttime air is cool on your face, smelling faintly of gasoline and rain.

He bends down and picks up whatever it is that's in front of him. You watch as he turns to look left, then right, seemingly in search of something. He turns around and you see what he's holding.

It's a baby's carrycot.

You immediately sit up, heart racing. "Is it -?" you whisper.

Mando nods, closing the door behind him. You get out of bed and rush over to stand next to him, peering into the carrier.

Sure enough, there's a baby asleep inside. It looks to be a boy, about a year old. You bring a hand up to your mouth.

"Why - who would - what?"

Mando shakes his head, staring at the little guy. "I don't know. I heard a knock at the door and there he was - no sign of anyone else."

"We should - what do we do, Mando?"

He brings the carrier over to rest on the table beside his jacket. The boy is out cold - his little hands grip the blue knitted blanket and his mouth is just barely open. He's got dark hair, wispy and soft atop his head. As you observe the sleeping child, you notice the corner of a small piece of paper tucked in between the blanket and the cradle. You reach out and grasp it between your thumb and forefinger, unfolding it carefully.

"What does it say?" Mando whispers. Your voices are low so as to not disturb the child.

"Grogu. Please take him far from here," you read, and feel your blood run cold as the note goes on. "Not safe in this area. His father is dangerous."

It's scrawled in blue ink on half a sheet of lined notebook paper, the fringe from being torn still attached. Your hands shake as it hits you - there's some mother out there so scared for her son that she left him in the care of strangers. That there's a man out there who legitimately threatens this boy's life.

Tears form at the corners of your eyes, rage and sadness simmering in your chest.

"We have to, Mando." Your words are shaky but certain. The man beside you rests a hand on the carrycot, still looking at the sleeping child within.

You turn your eyes to him. He nods, solemn.

"Let's let him rest. We'll leave in the morning, get as far west as we can. Might even be able to make Texas if we leave early enough. We can figure it out from there."

His other hand brushes against your back, and then he's drawing you into his chest. The embrace is soft, unhurried, and you lean your head against his shoulder, hands tucked against his chest. Letting your eyes slip closed, you think back on the previous day, how you never could have predicted this turn of events. How you've never felt so uncertain of things, even when you'd lost everything.

Together you return to bed, but neither of you gets much sleep.

#din djarin x reader #mandalorian x reader #mando x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #mandalorian fanfiction #fanfic #din djarin fanfic #star wars fanfiction #star wars fanfic #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x female reader #mando x fem!reader #female reader #fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction

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hangovercurse · 4 years ago

Text

Why Are You Here?

What happens when Y/N and Colson catch each other in a lie? And what could possibly happen on the bathroom counter at 12:05 am?

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Smut (18+), unprotected sex, cursing, probably some more idek.

A/N: I know people have done this before, but I fuckin love this song and this plotline

Word Count: 3444

The harsh light coming through the blinds woke you up, your eyes instinctively closing. You groaned as you came to realize where you were, the arm laying on your hips your first clue. You threw the tattooed arm off of you, sitting up and dangling your feet over the edge of the bed.

The man in your bed groaned, reaching out for you. You chuckled, finding the shirt you wore last night on the floor and throwing it on, pulling your panties up your legs. “C’mon Colson, it’s 10:45, you know the rule.”

He grumbled again, rolling onto his back. “The rule says I still have 15 minutes.” His arm reached up to cover his eyes from the light as you chucked his shirt at him.

“If you want to walk out of my house naked, be my guest. But if you’re still in here after 11 the deal’s off.” You walk into the bathroom, taking a look at yourself in the mirror. You hear the blond man follow behind you, seeing him in the reflection. He had his boxers on, which was a start at least.

He came behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and dipping his head to connect his lips to your neck. “So,” he started, pressing a kiss to the skin, “I’m not gonna-“ another kiss, your eyes closed, “be in town-“ you let a small moan fall from your lips, “tonight.” His lips paused at your ear, his hot breath hitting the sensitive skin. “So, I guess you’ll have to find some way to entertain yourself.” He smirked, making eye contact with you in the mirror.

You smiled, your eyes darting to the watch on his wrist. “7 minutes.” You whispered, walking out of his arms and back towards your bedroom. “I’ll probably just stay in again tonight, without you this time.”

You sat on your bed, watching him struggle to pull his jeans up. You giggled as he searched for the shirt he wore the night before, finding it hanging from your lamp. “I’ll see you tomorrow night then?” He asked, walking over to you.

“If you’re lucky.” You grinned. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your lips, and letting you go with a smirk. “2 minutes.” You whispered. He chuckled, leaning in to kiss you again. You wrapped your arms around his neck, standing up.

He let go, biting his lip and walking backwards towards your door. “Tomorrow night. My place.”

You nodded, a small smile on your face as he turned, his shirt still in his hand. You watched the way his back moved as he strutted out of your room, the toned muscles accentuated at every step.

Hours later, you got a text from Matt, better known as blackbear.

Friend of mine is throwing a party tonight. Come with?

You and bear had been friends for a couple months now, meeting, surprisingly, through Colson. You were just friends, but you loved partying with him. He was fun. And if Colson couldn’t be with you tonight, maybe he could be.

Yeah! When and where?

He answered quickly.

Pick you up at 10

It was 8:30, so you decided you could start getting ready. You went to your closet, looking at the pieces in there. The first thing your eyes landed on was an elegant white 3-piece lingerie set. It had lace designs all over it and straps for days. It was your favorite piece of lingerie you owned, and Colson’s favorite too.

Your finger ran along it, your head tilting. What would be the harm in wearing it? You’d feel sexy as hell.

So, you did. You hid it underneath an oversized T-shirt and baggy jeans, high heeled combat boots and a chain belt to match. You knew bear’s friends weren’t the fancy party types.

You walked into the house, the smell of weed and alcohol hitting you immediately. You intertwined your fingers with bear’s, his eyes glancing up at you, questioning you. You ignored it, dragging him through the crowd to the makeshift bar set up in the kitchen.

You downed two shots before grabbing a vodka sprite cocktail. Bear followed suit, dragging you to the middle of the crowd to dance. His hands grabbed your waist, you both swaying to the music and laughing at nothing.

Unbeknownst to you, Colson had walked in a few minutes later, hand in hand with a girl who looked a lot like you. He spotted you almost immediately, and then he saw the hands around your waist and the drunken smile on your face. He was so busted if you saw him.

“Want a drink?” He half-yelled over the music to the girl next to him.

She shrugged, “I don’t really drink.” Colson tried to keep his shoulders from visibly slumping. He nodded, grabbing the girl’s hand, and leading her to the opposite side of the dance floor as you.

He was hoping that going out with someone that wasn’t you would help him let go of you, but this girl was not gonna be the one to do that. Luckily, he ran into Rook and Dub, both raising their eyebrows at the girl on his side.

Rook and Dub introduced themselves to the girl, who looked like she would rather be anywhere but here.

You and bear decided to take a break from dancing and headed to the wall, wanting to just talk. As you leaned against the concrete, your eyes caught a familiar face. You tilted your head, taking in the blond man that had woken up in your bed this morning. You chuckled, shaking your head before you saw the girl on his arm, stopping you dead in your tracks.

“What’s up?” bear asked, leaning over you with his hand supporting his weight.

“Nothing, just saw someone I wasn’t expecting.”

Bear nodded, turning his head to follow your gaze, still stuck on Colson. “You and Colson?”

You laughed, trying to hide the jealousy running through your veins. “Hell no.” You stood up straight, your faces very close to each other. “I’m gonna go get a drink, you want anything?”

Your noses were almost touching, which seemed to stun bear, as he was holding his breath. You stepped back, waiting for his answer. “Uh- no. I’m good.”

You bit your lip, heading towards the bar and closer to Colson and his arm candy. If he wants to bring other people around, then why not have a little fun.

Colson watched your interaction with bear, saw how close you got to him, how the man instinctively leaned in closer to you. His jaw clenched at the sight, eyes darkening.

“Dude, you good?” Dub asked, bringing his attention back to the conversation in front of him.

Colson nodded, trying to get the picture of you and bear out of his head. “Yeah, I’m good.”

The girl on his arm rolled her eyes and sighed. “This party is fucking stupid, let’s leave and go do something fun.” She whispered the last part in his ear, trying to turn him on. Colson was too distracted by you at the bar, chatting up the bartender, knowing he was watching.

“You can leave.” He mumbled to the girl; his gaze held on you. She scoffed and rolled her eyes, walking away from him. As she left, you turned to catch his eye, a smirk on your face. You were definitely doing this on purpose, the way you placed your tits to lay on top of the bar, a smirk on your face as you spoke to the bartender.

Rook laughed as the girl left, “Colson, are you sure you’re good, man.”

Colson brushed his concern off, “Yeah, I’m gonna go take a smoke.” He headed off towards the back door, pulling a joint and lighter from his pocket.

You looked over your shoulder, expecting to see Colson still staring at you, only to find him and his girl gone. You sighed, picking up your drink and heading back over to bear, who was waiting on the wall for you.

“Sorry, the bartender’s an idiot. He screwed up my drink twice.” You lied through your teeth, your free hand reaching up and resting lazily on bear’s neck. You were definitely a little drunk, but only enough to make everything around you a little euphoric.

“It’s all good.” The man leaned down, face very close to yours. He was definitely trying to kiss you. And honestly if Colson hadn’t been there you would’ve let him. But you had another target for the night.

You smirked, “let’s dance.” You grabbed his arm, pulling away from him and leading to the dance floor. You glanced at the clock, reading the numbers 11:35.

Colson came back 20 minutes later in a much better state of mind. If you were trying to make him jealous, it meant you wanted him to take you home, not the other guys you were with. But boy oh boy was it working.

He leaned against the counter, getting a cup of straight rum. You had strategically placed yourself on the outer edge of the crowd closest to the bar. He could see you swaying your hips to the music, bear’s hands dangerously close to your ass.

You looked up, catching his eye and smirking. You glanced up at the clock on the wall. 12 am. Midnight.

Finding his eyes again, you mouthed “Five minutes. Bathroom.”

Colson smirked, knowing he was right.

A few minutes later you told bear, “I gotta pee, be right back,” before heading towards the hallway, passing Colson. His eyes watched you, feeling like he was watching you in slow motion. He stood up straight and followed you to the hallway.

You had disappeared into the bathroom by the time he rounded the corner, so he had to try every door to find the bathroom.

When he found you, your clothes were off, leaving you in just your white lingerie. He bit his lip, eyes raking your body up and down. You were leaning against the wall opposite of the door, watching him through your eyelashes.

Colson locked the door, taking slow, calculated steps towards you. His left arm landed on the wall above you, his face leaning into yours. The pointer finger on his right hand traced the lace that covered your upper body, landing on the garter that wrapped around your thigh. He smirked, pulling the fabric away from your body and releasing it, the material meeting your skin with a pop.

“You didn’t know I was coming tonight.” His voice was low, his face dangerously close to yours. You could feel his breath hitting your lips and you wanted to swallow his words.

You shook your head as the hand near your thigh moved up to your hip, gripping the skin tightly and pulling your body into his. “Then why,” he breathed, his head dipping down to run his nose up and down your neck, stopping at your ear, “are you wearing that?”

You breathed in through your nose as you felt his dick through his tight pants, spreading a warmth through your body. You could already tell you were soaking. “Maybe I was hoping to find someone who could fuck me as good as you do.” You whispered into his ear as his lips made contact with your neck, biting the supple skin.

He pushed his hips up into you, his hard on pressing even harder against you. “You know you won’t ever find anyone else as good as me.” He growled, pushing away from you, and throwing his shirt off, his jeans coming off shortly after.

His hand came back to your skin, this time grabbing your breasts and massaging through the thin material. His other hand dragged its way down to your clothed pussy, massaging circles against your clit. You bucked your hips into his hand, moaning a quiet “I know.”

He chuckled, his face moving in front of yours as you bit your lips, trying to keep your moans of pleasure quiet. “Don’t be quiet baby, I want everyone to know how good you feel.” His lips met yours in a rough kiss. You brought your arms around his waist, nails dragging lightly across the skin. He smirked into the kiss as his hands moved to unclasp the top two pieces of your lingerie.

Your breasts fell out, and Colson wasted no time in grabbing them in his hands, taking the small buds in between his fingers and squeezing. His lips left yours and attached to your nipples, biting and sucking, leaving an array of hickeys across the skin. You moaned at the feeling of his tongue circling your nipple. “Always love sucking your tits.” He moaned, sending vibrations through your body.

He moved further down, reaching the top of your white panties. He bit his lip as he unclasped the material separating the panties from the garter. He pulled the former down, leaving your pussy exposed. His face was inches from your heat, and you fought the temptation to buck your hips into him. Colson’s eyes were trained on yours as he blew a stream of cold air at your clit. You rolled your head back, resting against the wall as you sighed in pleasure.

His lips connected to your clit, sucking the sensitive bud, sending flashes of pleasure through your body. Your hands tangled in his hair, pushing him further into you. You could feel him smile against your cunt, his arms wrapping around your thighs and pulling them over his shoulders one at a time.

With the easier access to your heat, Colson licked up your slit with a moan. “Fuck you taste so good.” He muttered, before darting his tongue into your pussy. He curled his tongue inside you, your body reacting to the feeling.

His hands moved up to your ass, squeezing and massaging your cheeks as he continued his attack on your cunt. You moaned, you hips rocking against his face as he ate you out. Your hands tightened in his hair, “Colson, I’m so fucking close.”

The man smirked against you, his tongue in your hole and his nose pressing against your clit. You could feel yourself nearing the edge, your hips bucking into his face as his pace sped up. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You were so close.

“Want you to come on my face baby.” His voice sent you over the edge and you obeyed, your orgasm ripping through your body.

Your juices ran down Colson’s chin as he licked you up, a smirk playing on his lips. You moved your thighs off his shoulders, letting him stand up. Your hand reached up, wiping the cum off his chin with your thumb and then sucking it off, staring straight into his eyes as you did.

“Think you can take another one, angel?” His voice was soft but you could see the outline of his hard cock in his boxers. You nodded, biting your lip cheekily. Colson lifted you up and onto the bathroom counter then pulled the last bit of clothing off himself.

You took his length in your hands, pumping a few times. His head rolled back in pleasure at your movements as you relished the feeling of having him in the palm of your hand, figuratively and literally. His head came back up, connecting your lips as you continued to pump him.

He brought your lip in between his teeth as you lined his cock up to your entrance, teasing him with your slit. He smirked, knowing you thought you were in control, a thought that disappeared when he thrust into you, his length filling you up.

You both let out a string of moans, your legs wrapping around his waist. He pulled out of you almost completely before slamming back into you, causing another moan to fall from your mouth. Colson continued to slowly thrust into you, until you muttered, “Just fuck me already, Colson.”

His lips were at your neck again, leaving marks anywhere he could find room. He obeyed your command, picking up his pace but still slamming into you forcefully. His hand reached to your tit, grabbing the skin, and massaging it.

“Harder.” You whined and he smirked.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that, baby.” He growled against your skin. “You know how to beg.”

“Oh fuck, Colson, please. Fuck me harder.” You whined, his pace not changing.

“Even better.” He was gonna make you work for this.

“Please, sir, fuck me hard like the slut I am.” You begged, your eyes closing in pleasure as his pace sped up, his cock hitting the spot that had your toes curling.

He could feel you clench around him, “You like that, you fucking whore?” He kept thrusting into you, hitting that same spot. “You like it when I fill you up with my fat cock”

His hand came up to wrap around your throat, pressing just lightly enough to stimulate you further. You nodded, eyes rolling back in pleasure as you felt yourself getting closer to your second orgasm of the night.

“I can feel you getting closer, you want to cum around my cock?” You hummed out, nodding your head. He removed his hand from your neck. “Use your words.”

His thrusts were getting faster and sloppier, and you knew he was close. “Yes sir, wanna come around your big, fat cock.” You whined as his dick twitched inside you. His hand moved to massage circles into your clit, driving you right to the edge.

“Then cum, slut.” His thrusts sent you into bliss, warmth spreading through your entire body as your pussy clenched around him, his hot seed spilling into you. He dragged your orgasms out as long as he could, thrusting sloppily into you.

When he stopped, you were both breathing heavily, your head resting against the mirror behind you and his on your bare chest. When he finally got his bearings, he reached for the box of tissues on the counter, cleaning up himself and then you.

As you hopped off the counter, pulling your top back on, you looked at him, head tilted. “So, what happened to your plans out of town?”

The man in front of you paused as he pulled his pants up. “I didn’t know how to tell you that I was going on a date.” He answered truthfully.

You looked down, his answer disappointing you. “Oh. How did it go?”

He chuckled, giving you an “are you serious?” look. “She left and I ended up fucking you in the bathroom of some dude’s house.”

You nodded your head. “I thought you were gonna stay home tonight?” He asked, eyebrow raised.

“I was.” You paused, pulling your shirt over you. “bear invited me out after you left so, here I am.” You shrugged.

He struggled with his pants, “Was it a date?”

You shook your head, pulling your own jeans up your legs. “Maybe he thought it was, I dunno. Just wanted to have some fun.”

“And you wore that because…” Colson trailed off, expecting an answer.

“In case I had fun.” You bit you lip, a smug look on your face. “You’re not mad that I went out tonight, are you?” You secretly hoped he would say yes.

“No, you can do whatever you want. You don’t need my permission to fuck other people.” Colson’s shirt covered his tattoos as he shrugged it on. “You don’t care that I went on a date tonight, do you?”

Yeah, I really do. “No, I don’t care.” You shrugged, moving to the mirror to fix your hair and makeup. “Just tell me when it gets serious so I can find someone else…” You trailed off, knowing that sentence wouldn’t end the way you wanted to say it.

Colson nodded, making eye contact with you in the mirror. You giggled, grabbing a tissue, and facing him. “You have lipstick on your nose.” You wiped it off as well as the smudges near his lips. Your hand stayed close to his lips, holding his face. Every bone in your body told you to kiss him for real, but you knew he wouldn’t kiss you back.

But he was thinking the same thing. He tried to laugh it off before he actually did kiss you and mess up what you had going on.

“So, we’re all good then, still just friends with benefits?” He asked as he turned back towards the mirror, fixing his hair.

You smirked at him, “Oh, Colson, we’ll never be friends.” You grinned as you walked out of the room, leaving the door to close behind you.

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk smut #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly smut #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker angst #colson baker smut

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softieteez · 4 years ago

Text

backstory

warning: death, cancer, drinking, mental abuse, some physical abuse, cussing, crying, anxiety attacks, suicidal thoughts, child neglect

genre: angst

summary: before ivy even got to her teen years, things were more difficult than most adults lives. from losing her dad, to experiencing neglect.

a/n: ivy’s story is pretty deep. feel free to skip this post if you are triggered by anything listed. also i’ll be using her birth name a lot throughout this story.

languages: normal = english. italic = korean

olivia min was born june 4, 2001 in michigan. she is the youngest of three siblings. miya, the oldest, was born february 20, 1997. and austin, the middle child, was born august 4, 1999.

growing up, olivia had an amazing relationship with her family members. her parents were always really supportive of anything she wanted to do. and her siblings, were annoying, but they all love each other so much. the family was pretty middle class, maybe more upper middle class. they had enough money to buy nice things and go on trips, which was nice and it gave the kids experiences they’d always remember.

when she was a baby, the families friend jax, had given her the nickname ‘ivy.’ the name stuck with him and eventually spread to friends at school. but her family members always called her olivia or jisoo, her korean name.

in school she was a social butterfly, running around recess practically collecting friends like they were collectors items. and because of her loving nature, no one could say no. she’s also very smart, she’s always had straight a’s and was usually willing to participate in class. teacher would say she was a sweet and smart little girl, and of course she could make the class burst into giggles at any second.

olivia started dancing at the young age of 4 when her parents enrolled her into dance classes. there, she met new friends and became one of the best youth dancers in their town.

her grandparents lived in ohio, which meant a lot of the times they would travel there for the holidays. olivia had a friend named aggy that lived there.

aggy lived next door to ivy’s grandparents. she was diagnosed with leukemia only five months before meeting the family, this was when ivy was maybe 7 years old.

through the years, ivy excelled in everything from piano lessons that she started when she was 5, to even cooking. she was a cheerful and happy little girl. until she reached age 9 when her dad was diagnosed with lung cancer.

this was a huge reality hit. she didn’t really understand it though, her dad was healthy. until he wasn’t. she remembers that day so clearly

“where’s mom and dad?” olivia asked walking into the kitchen and seeing her sister sitting next to their sleeping brother on the couch

“hospital, grandma and grandpa will be here in a few hours. for now our neighbors are gonna look after us”

“hospital? but why?” the little girl tilted her head

“i don’t know olivia. go back to sleep it’s early” miya did know, she saw her dad getting worse and worse as the months went on. but the last thing anyone wanted to do was worry anymore people. especially austin and olivia.

“okay…” she responded and went back toward her bedroom.

a few hours later she woke up to her grandma shaking her awake “wake up olivia. grandpa and i brought lunch.” the elderly woman spoke

olivia smiled at her grandmother as she sat up and stretched. the girl walked to the kitchen.

she still remembers all the yummy food her grandparents made, now knowing it was out of grief. later that night was when her parents revealed the truth to the kids.

and suddenly her whole world collapsed.

she would miss dance class and sometimes even school because her father would be in the hospital. because her mom and dad were always gone, she and her other siblings were expected to help around the house. occasionally with their grandparent by their side.

when she turned 10, she didn’t have much of a birthday blow out. and her present was some nail polish because that was all her family could afford at the time. when she turned 11, they spent her birthday in the hospital. her dads condition became so much worse that he wasn’t able to leave the hospital.

“i’m sorry you have to spend your birthday like this livvy” her dad held her had. his skin was paler than usual. colder too.

“it’s okay dad, i’m just happy we’re all here” she smiled as she held back tears. but her dad knew she wanted to cry.

“me and your mom got you something” he smiled and looked at his wife. the woman smiled sadly and reach in her purse to pull out a small purple box.

olivia grabbed the box from her mothers hand and opened it slowly. a beautiful butterfly necklace was revealed.

“it took a little while for us to find the perfect one” her moms sniffled. “we wanted you to love it”

thinking back on that moment. ivy now understood they wanted it to be special because it would be the last gift she would ever receive from her father.

“thank you mommy. thank you daddy” she whispered and pecked her dads forehead.

sadly, on june 29, her father passed away in the middle of the night. for some reason, her brain blocks this moment out. it’s all a blur.

her and her sister were sleeping on the little couch the nurses had set up and her brother was laying on the sleeping bag he had brought on the floor. it happened so suddenly. she woke up to her mom hysterically crying and weeping.

her brother and sister were frantic as nurses guided them three of them out of the room. but she does remember the last look she had at her dad.

he didn’t look real, more like a painting. or a sculpture maybe. his skin was practically white and his body was lifeless.

her whole family was in a depression, especially her mom. after losing her husband, she started drinking to numb the pain.

her grandparents left ohio and went back to korea completely unannounced. it was up to miya and austin to take care of themselves, each other, and of course olivia.

after a month of her fathers passing. the family had got a call from aggy’s mom informing them that aggy passed away july 25. so now she lost her dad and her best friend. along with that her mom isn’t stable enough to take care of her and her siblings, and her grandparents were m.i.a.

when she turned 12, that’s when her moms drinking got worse. she was living off of beer and tv dinners. she was also now mentally abusive toward her children.

austin became the child that started work. he would work late at night and then go to school all day. he was responsible for the families income at age 14.

miya was rarely ever home as well, but she was gone to escape their mom. she would rebel, hang out with her boyfriend, who ivy later found out was physically abusive.

then ivy was the kid that did the chores. she would also clean the neighbors houses to help pay her dance fees. the neighbors would always feel bad so they’d usually give her $30 for each chore she did. that was barely enough though.

and somehow, none of their friends ever noticed anything. except for austin’s, he’s always shut down plans to work and was overly tired all the time. but the friends did start noticing behavior changes

ivy became really depressed and spent most of her days just waiting for them to end.

the family got some income from the bank after the fathers passing. the kids were all in his will, earning $114k each. but they wouldn’t receive that until age 18.

around this time, ivy got into contact with her grandparent. begging day after day to move their and live out her dream of being an idol. her siblings would even call and beg the grandparents to let her, not wanting her to experience this life anymore.

after months of begging, her grandparents finally agreed to move her out to korea. she had already submitted audition videos to big companies like sm, jyp, yg, bighit etc.

she was 13 when she was officially moved into korea. she lived with her grandma and grandpa for a month before moving into the jyp dorms. she trained there for a year before being sent off to audition for produce 101.

during this time, she experienced great stress. her anxiety and depression led to suicidal thoughts and almost had to leave the show because of it. many fans who were supporting her throughout the show noticed her getting skinnier and skinnier by the episode.

somi, who became her best friend instantly, was also worried for her. ivy felt bad that she was worrying people. but she couldn’t help it, her mind controlled her. her thoughts were always telling her to do something. she would practice all the time and forget to eat.

somi would often watch after her to make sure she would at least eat a bagel and drink water everyday.

it wasn’t long before ivy would share her story, only parts of it publicly. her story reached american headlines, meaning her family and friends had seen it.

she was struggling for years. and it was only recently when she found inner happiness. she worked hard during produce, and didn’t win. and of course, she left jyp and moved to kq where she met her life long friends.

her boys have helped her so much, they were there to listen to her story, to hug her when she cried.

those are her boys, her family. her home.

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iseeyoongi · 4 years ago

Text

protection | yoonseok

☁ Pairing: Yoongi x Hoseok (hitman Yoongi and cafe owner Hoseok), maybe a little sprinkling of Taehyung x Jungkook

☁ Summary: By some strange, morbid, twist of fate hitman Yoongi and cafe owner Hoseok end up in witness protection... in the same house

☁ Genre: mafia au, fluff, smut, drama, angst, slow-burn

☁ Rating: R, 18+

☁ Warnings: Descriptions of violence (nothing too graphic), and mental illness

☁ A/N: Things are going to move a litttllleee fast in the first few chapters to give background before we get to the good stuff

☁ Word Count: 2,411

☁ Part: 1/?

22 hours.

Yoongi had been stuck in this small, dim interrogation room for 22 hours. He knew they could only hold him for 24 hours before they were forced to either let him go, or charge him. But those last two hours were definitely dragging along. He had taken a job with one of the biggest bosses in town, pretty happy with the prospect of the paycheck coming his way.. but of course right as he was delivering this package.. they nabbed him. Honestly, he couldn't believe he got caught.

He leaned back in the metal chair, picking at his cuticles as he waited. The officer who had been questioning him, Detective Kim apparently, opened the door again. He strode in with a sigh, dropping his case folder on the table in front of Yoongi. The man ran his fingers through his dark hair as he sat down across the table. Yoongi looked up at him with an arched brow.

“You giving me a ride when you cut me loose?” He mused, pursing his lips.

“Dragged me all the way down here for nothing.”

“So you’re assuming you’ll be leaving in a few hours then…”

He was.

Detective Kim checked his watch.

“You’re thinking you’ll be out of here in two hours. Really, we’ll be booking you in two hours.”

“Excuse me?” Yoongi questioned, planting his feet on the ground and leaning forward-eyebrows furrowed.

“Let’s see..’ The other male started, opening the folder and flipping through the papers. ‘You’re looking at… at least 12 for the drug charges. 20 to life for the murder.”

“I told you I didn’t kill that guy!” Yoongi slammed his palm down on the table.

You walk into a house with a dead guy and suddenly you’re taking the wrap for a murder you didn’t even commit. Of all the people he’s killed, he’s about to go down for someone he didn’t even know. Perfect.

“Honestly, I believe you.” Detective Kim reasoned, leaning back in his chair and staring at Yoongi. “I don’t believe you didn’t know what was in the package.. but you’re not even who we want.”

Yoongi gave him a questioning glare.

“We’ve been trying to nab your guys for a while now..”

“They aren’t my guys.” Yoongi cut him off, huffing when the other male arched a questioning eyebrow at him. “No affiliation.” He finished finally.

Min Yoongi, or as the criminal world knows him Suga, is what you might call.. a man for hire. Gang leaders, mob bosses, drug peddlers.. they hire him to do their dirty work. Whether it was kidnapping, torture, murder, or simply delivering a package of grade-a cut heroin like this time, he was the man for the job. But he definitely didn’t have “guys”, he was in no way going to be tied to any of these idiots when they went down. Or at least that was the plan.

“Well fine.. We know that Jaehyun hired you, and we’ve been trying to nab him and his guys for a while now.”

“Okay?” Yoongi droned, staring at him blankly.

“So I’ll cut you a deal..”

Yoongi was interested now.

“Tell me where Jaehyun meets and you’re off.”

“Off?” He half way didn’t believe it. “Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

Yoongi pursed his lips, thinking.

“Get me a lawyer.”

Hardly 10 minutes later a pudgy man in a suit walked in with Detective Kim.

“My name is Lee Daesuk. I’ll be representing you.” He seats himself across the table, opening his briefcase.

“He offered me a deal.. I just want to make sure he can’t switch it up when he gets what he wants.” Yoongi’s eyes flick to Detective Kim who is standing behind the lawyer.

“Well, paperwork has to be written up. But as soon as you agree and give him what he wants, we can get started on that.”

“No. Paperwork first. Everyone signs, and then I talk.”

Daesuk looks to the detective, who purses his lips, glaring down at Yoongi.

“Fine.” He says simply. Yoongi leans back in his seat.

After a few moments, the lawyer pushes a piece of paper across the table, handing Yoongi a pen.

“Just sign there.” He points. Yoongi signs. Deasuk moves the paper to the detective. “And you, here.” He points. Detective Kim signs. Daesuk signs his own space and then puts the paper back into his briefcase.

“Alright, lets hear it.” Detective Kim says instantly, leaning on the table with both hands.

“I met with him at his home.”

“Here in Seoul?” Detective Kim cuts him off, scribbling on his notepad.

“Yeah. Penthouse, top of Conrad.”

“The hotel?”

“That’s the one.”

Detective Kim leans in more, staring pointedly at Yoongi.

“You do know if you’re lying, you’re going to prison.”

Yoongi waves his hand in the air, rolling his eyes. “Why would I lie? I don’t care about him.”

The detective and lawyer share a look. Finally Detective Kim walks around to Yoongi's side of the table, crouching down and unlocking the shackle that had been tethering him to the table.

“Alright… you’re free to go.”

And with that, Yoongi jumps up.

“Thanks, gorgeous. Your company has been grand.” He winks at the detective, striding towards the door before the others have a chance to even move.

“He’s smart.” Deasuk mumbles after he’s left the room, earning an annoyed grunt from the detective.

It had been almost a week since Yoongi’s run in with the cops. He had been laying low, partly. Mostly he just wasn’t worried about working right now. Currently he was sat on his couch, idly scrolling through Twitter. Bored out of his mind.

He couldn’t help but jump at the knock on his door.

Yoongi stood up, padding across the hardwood floor to the front door and looking through the peephole. Instantly, he glared through the hole, pursing his lips and letting out a huge huff as he opened the door.

"Need me to solve another crime, Detective?" Yoongi spat, earning an eyeroll from Detective Kim.

"Save the sass, this is important."

He walked into the apartment, turning on his heel to face Yoongi again, who was looking at him half insulted and half confused.

"You can't just walk into my apartment like that! I'm a hardened criminal! What do they teach you at that stupid academy?"

"How to use a gun.. for hardened criminals."

Yoongi tilted his head to either side, arching his brows. "Alright.. fair. What do you want?"

"I'll be honest with you.. we've been keeping an eye on you. Got someone posted down the street."

"What?" Yoongi huffed, raising his hands in the air. "I haven't even done anything! I've barely left my house in a week."

"Yeah, I know. Proud of you." Detective Kim mused condescendingly.

"Fuck you.." Yoongi started, but before he could continue the detective was talking again.

"We're not the only ones who have been watching you though. Looks like Jaehyun figured out who ratted him out."

Yoongi was quiet now, trying to keep his cool demeanor about him, but he licked his lips nervously.

"Well, he's in prison right? Who cares?"

"Yeah, he's in prison. Until he makes bail, which he will. Plus, he's still got guys on the outside."

"And you think they're coming for me?"

Yoongi pursed his lips, turning this new found situation over in his mind. He could definitely hold his own.. but he knew how many guys Jaehyun had..... and he knew they weren't going to fight fair.

"We're putting you in witness protection." Detective Kim said far too nonchalantly.

"Excuse me? You can't just toss me somewhere else." Yoongi protested. "I'm pretty sure I have some say in this."

"You don't actually. It was apart of the deal you signed. Written in to help you, actually.. you're welcome."

Detective Kim heads for the door, pulling out his phone to let his captain know everything is in order.

"You leave in the morning."

Yoongi stared at the closed door for a minute... or two.. or five.

This was crazy. Insane. Ludicrous even.

Just like that, with hardly any warning, he was going to be carted off to god knows where?

He really should start reading contracts more carefully.

Yoongi couldn't sleep. At first it was because he was angry, but as the hours went on he finally accepted his fate. Now he couldn't sleep because he didn't know where the fuck he was being shipped off to.

As the sun rose through his living room window, his phone dinged with a text from an unknown number.

I’m picking you up at 7. You’re allowed to bring personal items but nothing too crazy. NO WEAPONS!!! -Detective Kim

Yoongi scrunched his nose up. This man might truly be the bane of his existence. Begrudgingly, he got up and started packing a bag.

He didn't really have.. personal items. Not the kind that Detective Kim was talking about anyway. So, he stuffed a duffle bag full of clothes and, disobediently, tucked a gun into the waist band of his pants. Just as he went to plop back down onto the couch, there was another knock on the door.

His door had never seen this much action. He was tired of the sound.

Walking over, he opened it to see Detective Kim holding two cups of coffee.

"Detective..." Yoongi started, smiling sweetly and grabbing the coffee before it was even offered to him. "I knew you had a sweet spot for me."

Detective Kim stared blankly at him. "Let's go." He said simply, watching as Yoongi went and grabbed his duffle bag. "That's it?" He asked, eyeing the bag.

"Not all of us are sentimental." Yoongi shrugged, walking out of the apartment. But, before he closed the door he froze. "Wait.."

Yoongi darted back into the apartment, stopping in front of his dresser he started rummaging. Opening every drawer, he dug through fake passports and IDs, stopping to wonder if he should bring the money he had for different countries. Finally, he found what he was looking for in the bottom drawer. He pulled the worn, long untouched blanket from the corner of the drawer. It had been a very long time since he had looked at this.. held it in his hands. He ran his thumbs along the blue and white knitted fabric, considering putting it right back in the drawer.

He shoved it into his bag and walked back out the door.

"You ready?" Detective Kim asked when he returned, earning nothing but a nod from Yoongi.

They made their way downstairs and out of the building. As they walked out of the front door of the building Yoongi was greeted with a shocking sight, a regular ole' black car.

"What? You're not going to lock me in the back seat of a cop car this time?"

"Yeah that's a little suspicious considering people are trying to kill you." Detective Kim retorted.

Yoongi thought that maybe, if circumstances were different.. if they were different people, he could be friends with Detective Kim. Despite his painfully annoying personality and affinity for the law, he was pretty damn funny. Yoongi never had anyone to banter with. No matter how hilarious you are, you just can't banter with yourself.

"Listen, I'm not going to search you. But I'm trusting you.. no bullshit. No weapons, no drugs.. before you get in the car let me know."

"I'm clean." Yoongi lied, opening the passengers door when Detective Kim nodded.

"Hey wait, do I look like I'm on drugs?!" He questioned, half insulted.

"There are drugs that don't look like you're on them!" Detective Kim argued, starting the car.

"Nah. You can always tell.. just gotta know what to look for. You're not a very good cop, huh?"

"Sorry, I'm not an expert in drug addicts." Detective Kim glared, speeding down the street.

They had been driving for two hours when Yoongi finally gave in.

"Where the fuck are we going, dude?" He huffed, furrowing his brows at the detective.

"Busan."

"Busan?! You're going to drive me all the way to Busan? I don't want to go to Busan!" Yoongi groaned, letting his head fall back against the seat.

"One.' Detective Kim started, holding up his index finger. 'That's my job. We don't trust you enough to throw you on a train."

Yoongi resented that.

"Two.' He added his middle finger. 'It doesn't matter where you want to go."

Yoongi pursed his lips, glaring out the front window at road.

"Plus..' He began again, trailing off. If Yoongi wasn't mistaken, the detective was nervous. 'It gives me time to fill you in on everything."

"Fill me in on what? Do I have to get a whole new identity?"

"No, not exactly. You're not still.. Suga, or whatever..' The detective said the alias with a tone dripping in condescension and, frankly, annoyance. ' But, you're still Min Yoongi if that's who you want to be. You just can’t mention anything about your.. past life." He trailed off before looking at him quickly. "If you want to be someone else let me know soon.. that's a lot of paperwork."

Yoongi shook his head, grinning. "Nah. Nothing better than being Min Yoongi."

Detective Kim rolled his eyes, relaxing into his seat. "Anyway.. What I need to fill you in on. You're going to be living with someone else."

Yoongi's head shot towards him, his eyes wide. "What?! Why?! That doesn't even make sense."

"He's a witness too so this makes a solid story."

"What solid story? Roommates is not a solid story." He was suspicious.

"Yeah.. about that. 'Roommates'" Detective Kim chuckled. "You're going to be married."

Yoongi was silent, staring at the other man with wide eyes. Trying to find something to say. Or maybe considering jumping out of the door.

"Not legally of course. That's just the story."

"This..... is the most insane thing I've ever done.. and we met because I was trafficking drugs so that's saying something." Yoongi mumbled, sitting back in his seat. He heard a low chuckle come from Detective Kim.

"Would you consider me pointing a gun at you and arresting you as 'meeting' me?"

Maybe he was right.. maybe getting arrested for a gang related felony didn't classify as a meeting. Yooongi rolled his eyes anyway. He stayed silent for a good half hour, staring out the window as they drove further away from the city he was so accustomed to.. and honestly, loved.

"What did he witness anyway?" He asked suddenly, turning to look at the detective.

"A murder."

#btsgoldnet #ksmutclub #yoonseok smut #yoonseok imagine #yoonseok au #yoongi smut #yoongi au #yoongi imagine #jhope imaigine #jhope au #jhope smut #protection.

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blouisparadise · 5 years ago

Photo

Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics posted or completed during the month of August. We really hope you enjoy this list and that you give these fics a lot of love.

Happy reading!

1) Move Out | Explicit | 1525 words

Harry and Louis are moving in together, so they might as well make the most of Harry's apartment.

2) Take Off Your Business Suit | Explicit | 3082 words

“Yes, let me get another chair.” Louis said, leaning up off of the desk. He stood up but before he could leave the office to get another chair, Harry was grabbing his hand.

The words that came out of Harry’s mouth made Louis’ knees weak and heart beat quicken. “Just sit on my lap.” Harry said. Whatever he said afterwards didn’t make it into Louis’ ears as he was moving quickly over to Harry and placing himself on Harry’s lap.Louis would take anything Harry wanted to give him; hand touching, lap sitting, all of it.

Louis hadn't realized he was holding his breath until it came out in a quiet sigh. “Okay so th-this one will be slightly different right?” He asked as he pointed at the sheet of paper in front of him.

3) So Good, It's Making Me Drool | Explicit | 3364 words

He kept his back turned to Harry, whispering the few words he knew that would make Harry go absolutely wild. “If I’m only yours, maybe you should take me to bed and teach me who I belong to.”

4) What I Like | Explicit | 4245 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

Harry gets tired of the "older women" jokes and the incessant teasing from Louis.

5) ll Belong To Your Creation | General Audiences | 4349words

Louis had always thought it was impossible to do so. Thankfully, upon doing research he learned that he still can as long as there are no complications throughout the whole pregnancy. He also stumble upon a birth vlog where a mum was able to give birth naturally even after going through c-section with her first and second pregnancy.

6) An Axolotl and the Fake Date | Explicit | 5976 words

Harry runs a stall at a farmers market every weekend and Louis comes by one day with an odd request.

7) Feels So Right | Explicit | 8804 words

The one where Louis is Troy, Harry is Gabriella, and we find out what really happened after karaoke at that ski resort...

8) Giallo! | Mature | 9776 words

Louis was a mess. A stuttery mess of weak knees and grass stains on his fresh linen clothes, his cheeks blooming a natural pink that matched his sunburnt nose. Upon his return from University, his family abandon the bustling city of London to bask in the comfort of their summer villa. With such a property came maintenance, Louis' father hired a strapping young fellow with tanned skin littered with ink and a charming smile aided by dimples in both his cheeks. Between reading, baking and painting, Louis stares at Harry, he couldn't help it. They grow close under the sun of Greece in 1989.

9) Interlude: One Night in March | Explicit | 10671 words

Note: This is a sequel to this fic.

“Said I would, didn’t I?” Harry let his hands roam over Louis’s bare back, his muscles rippling with that same frenetic energy he always had, swirling just beneath the skin, just beneath Harry’s fingers. “May come a time I’ll have to carry you again.”

Cupping the back of his head and burying his fingers in Louis’s hair, he pulled Louis back into another deep kiss, moaned a bit when Louis squeezed his chest again, harder this time, like he wanted the shirt off. But instead he drew his hand down Harry’s side and tugged at the hem, as though to say best keep this on, before he licked into Harry’s mouth, drew Harry’s tongue out to play only to pull back enough to speak.

“May come a time I’ll actually fucking let you.”

10) Hate To Smoke (Without Me) | Mature | 12164 words

Sleep. Harry just wants one good night of sleep. However, his neighbour has a thing for headboard-banging-against-the-wall-sex every night. After a secret set-up and a bet, Harry may finally get the sleep he so much desires.

11) Call You Mine | Explicit | 12755 words

“I have a request.”

That’s what Louis Tomlinson says to Harry when he opens the front door a bit too aggressively. The latter feels justified after a round of annoyingly incessant knocking that was much too loud in the drowsy sludge of early Saturday morning.

“Zayn’s asleep,” is Harry’s tired, hoarse reply, irritation prickling at his skin. Less than a minute ago he was in bed, feeling perfectly content sprawled out on the mattress with the chilled air from the fan cool against his bare skin. And now he’s leaning up against the wooden door frame in nothing but his briefs because Zayn’s best mate decided that showing up unannounced at seven in the fucking morning was a brilliant idea.

“I’m not here for him,” says Louis curtly.

12) A Vivid And Wistful Melody | Explicit | 13128 words

"Slowly, he takes his violin out of its case, listens for a few more minutes to Louis’ flute, before joining him as best as he could. The flute stops for a few seconds, and Harry imagines Louis blinking cutely, taken aback, before huffing with a smile, and starting to play again, on a suddenly far happier tune. Harry closes his eyes as he twirls around the living room, violin in hand and music filling the air. He pictures Louis doing the same in his own flat while being careful as to not step on his cat.

Somehow, even with heavy eyes and tired limbs, this is the happiest Harry has ever felt in years."

In which they are neighbours stuck at home and they happen to start talking through a wall with a piano, a violin, and a flute. They end up writing the soundtrack of their own love story.

13) Until This Blood Runs Cold | Explicit | 13685 words

In a town as small as Louis’, everybody knows everybody and gossip spreads faster than the wildfires that rage on just outside their backdoors in the sweltering heat of summer. When something happens here everyone knows about it within seconds. Neighbors call neighbors and notes are left on doorsteps, old telephone lines ringing until there isn’t a single person who is left in the unknown.

So it’s definitely hot gossip when a vampire moves in across the street from him, the very same one who’s just become Louis’ boss.

14) A Road To Hope | Explicit | 18280 words

Note: There is no explicit smut but its implied BL.

“We’re far from the people and their issues, don’t hold back. Please.”

It’s true. They are far away from anything that could stop them, the middle of nowhere being the safest place on Earth for them to fall in love. The sacred land where sacred love is created. However, Louis is certain that even if they weren’t safe, he wouldn’t resist the sight of Harry, his pleading eyes, his warm skin beneath his touch.

15) Your Eyes Of Blue, Your Kisses Too | Explicit | 21785 words

When they get out onto the streets away from the crowds Niall turns to walk backwards, “So did you get any leads?”

“Well- uh.”

Niall shakes his head, “Too busy kissing that pretty boy onstage, I see. Gonna blow the whole case for a piece of ass?”

16) Thinking About Peaches | Explicit | 23724 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic, which is #18 on this list.

Eight smutty drabbles following the events of bruise you like a peach.

17) Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds | Mature | 38065 words

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

18) Bruise You Like A Peach | Explicit | 40694 words

Note: The sequel to this fic is #16 on this list.

There’s two reasons Harry despises Econ.

The first is that it’s boring as fuck. The second reason is a bit more personal, a bit more focused in a way. As in it’s focused on one specific thing, or in his case, person.

His name is Louis Tomlinson.

19) Falling Out Of Fashion | Explicit | 42123 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Harry Styles has been the established face of the Grimshaw House of Design for two years. It’s a prestigious and coveted modeling contract Harry took away from once-famed supermodel Zayn Malik. With the model transition Grimshaw’s designs went from a more urban, Zayn-forward aesthetic, to a Harry-favoring flowery, flowing femininity in the Grimshaw designs for men.

So when Harry sees a dress Grimshaw made for a famous Marvel actress, “only a tease”, Nick says, of the evolving look, Harry knows Grimshaw is shifting his aesthetic.

Harry wonders if he can pull off the look.

Or could Grimshaw be looking for a new face?

20) Secretly Dating | Mature | 43615 words

Lottie groaned, looming over Louis with a glare. “If we’re late, Mum and Dad will never let Harry see me – ie. see you.”

It was the first time they openly addressed the fact that Harry saw more of Louis than Lottie on their supposed ‘dates.’ He supposed he knew as much, but it still startled him. “You’ve been setting us up!”

Lottie snorted, cocking out her hip and brushing her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Honestly, Harry. You’re so dense. To be fair, it was at Louis’ request.”

Louis’ mouth gaped like a fish as he jumped to standing position, wobbling only slightly. “Don’t sell me out!”

Lottie rolled her eyes. “Come on lovebirds.”

21) You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) | Mature | 95417 words

Harry was in the biggest boy band in the world. He was also one half of the best (or worst, depends on who you ask) kept secret relationship in the music industry.

Now, almost five years on, after One Direction has broken up, and Harry and Louis' relationship has as well, a video threatens to put everything at risk.

One determined Irishman, a massive publicity stunt and two begrudging exes are all it takes to bring One Direction back to life and maybe, just maybe, Harry and Louis' mangled love life too.

22) The Healing Song | Mature | 111851 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis was carrying the large stuffed elephant like it was a baby, it’s trunk hanging over his shoulder and down his back and it’s front legs were resting around his neck, like it was hugging him. Said elephant was a present from Louis’ close friend Steve, who had thought Louis needed something to hug on bad days and had gifted him with a stuffed elephant the size of a one year old.

Steve had been right. Some days Louis did need something to hug, and this elephant was as good as anything.

Louis was having one of the rougher days. The harmonious state of the anxiety free life of a fearless Louis had ended the week after he met with Harry. It ended as abruptly as it had started. It was like pushing a button. Lights out. Almost as if the universe said “You’ve had your fun, crazy one, now go be sick” and slammed the door in his face.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

#bottom louis #top harry #blp fic recs #monthly fic recs #fic recs #blp #larry

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mingishoe · 5 years ago

Text

Secret Santa

Summary: Secret santa but yall got each other even though you two don’t like each other

Pairing: Reader x Yunho (ft. Seonghwa and San)

Word count- 11.8K unedited… oops

Smut with too much plot (Subs: reader and Yunho, Doms: Seonghwa, San, and reader to Yunho) *Yunho is a sub and no one can change my mind*

Smut Warning: exhibitionism, oral sex- M receiving, degration, dirty talk, car sex?, use of pet names, soft cute sex, sex that’ll make someone feel sore for days, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy) Marking, cream pie, and more that I can’t remember…

25 days of christmas: Day 6

12-27-19 pretend it didn’t take me 20 days to write this ah ha ha

________________________________

Christmas time in your office was probably the best time of the year. Everyone was in the Christmas mood and there were decorations hanging everywhere.

In your office floor, everyone was pretty much friends so you all had secret Santa and drew names out of a bowl.

Your friend Mingi called everyone around the desk that had all the names in it. Mingi lowkey had a secret plan for you to get a certain person.

It was known around the office that you and Yunho just didn’t get along for whatever reason. No one else besides you and Yunho knew why you didn’t like each other.

If you were being honest with yourself, it was silly. You knew it was silly and even Yunho probably knew it was silly.

Basically you and Yunho used to be really close friends a long long time ago in elementary through highschool until you got a boyfriend.

It was in your freshman year in Highschool and you got your first “real” boyfriend. During the time you and Yunho were best friends and sure, he was happy you had a boyfriend and you were happy. It was a good happy time for all three of yall.

After awhile you assume Yunho just got jealous and he brought up the “Your boyfriend is toxic and doesn’t love you” talk and at the time it was a H U G E deal to both of you.

So fast forward Yunho started to ghost you and you ended up breaking up with your boyfriend at the end of your sophmore year around your year and a half mark, and you and Yunho had started to fix your friendship but neither of you were able to stay 5 minutes without arguing.

Fast forward even more you and Yunho practically hated each other for the rest of highschool and once you got into college you had just started to think you got away from him.

But guess what? With your shit luck, once you got your office job the next day- Yunho was in the space next to you.

At that point you honestly thought the world was just against you.

Like sure you weren’t really mad at Yunho anymore, it was just kinda annoying.

That leads to where you’re at now, standing next to your friend Wooyoung as Mingi is making his way around the room letting people draw.

Mingi doesn’t have either your name or Yunhos name in the bag just so you two would get each other. You’re the last person to draw, besides Yunho since he’s in a meeting, and you grab one of the last papers already overcome with a sinking feeling in your stomach.

You have the paper in your hand eyeing Mingi suspiciously.

You slowly unfold the paper and as soon as you see the “Y” your heart drops, “Mingi- you son of a bitch! Wooyoung, wanna trade? please?” Wooyoung and Mingi exchanged a look before Wooyoung simply said no and walked away.

“Mingi, why are you such a pain in the ass,” you rested your head in your hands. “Look, maybe it’s just your shitty luck because I did nothing,” you’re about to say something but you get cut off as you see Yunho wrapped his arm around Mingi’s shoulder.

You looked away awkwardly as Mingi hands him the bag to pick the last name out of the bag. He snaps his head up looking at you and you stare at him with wide eyes, “W-What?” he turns his head to mingi while responding, “none of your business,” you scoff while rolling your eyes as you turn to go back to your work space.

You sat down with a huff, you were pretty sure he got you and that’s why he made such a big deal. It wasn’t that it was hard to get him something, yall are together everyday and even after work since you both have the same friends. It was just the whole secret Santa process. When you give your gift you have to spend the whole day doing stuff and at the end you give your gift and reveal you’re their secret Santa (it was honestly a long process that was kinda burdensome for anyone involved) and with Yunho it would be way too awkward.

It was after work and you usually walk back to your place with Seonghwa since you both lived on the same floor(Yunho and San both lived in the same building as well).

It was a bit awkward for you both when you found out. For the first month, you both thought that the other was following the other. And you both happened to confront each other at the same time and had a good awkward laugh after. After that you two waited for each other after work but never talked as you walked next to each other. It literally took months for you and Seonghwa to start a conversation, a simple “Hi, how are you?” Small talk, eventually you two became really close friends.

“Hwa, I’m being serious,” he was looking at you completely unamused, already tired of your whining. “I need you to trade with me,” “Look, Y/N, I know that whatever feud you have with Yunho is a big deal or whatever but either way unless he trades with someone, which no one is going to, you’re gonna he stuck with him all day anyways.” You know he’s right, but you’re really not having it. “Sweetheart, you’re just gonna have to be a big girl and suck it up,” Seonghwa wrapped his arm around you as he pulled you into him and kissed your cheek.

You and Seonghwa didn’t date, which surprised everyone who asked, you two were just overly flirty but had no real interest in each other.

You both walked hand in hand and side by side going into the building and of course(with your shit luck) Yunho was there with San talking near the entrance.

“Oh! Y/N! Seonghwa!” You sighed loudly and rolled your eyes which caused Seonghwa to squeeze your hand tighter warning you to stop. He steered you towards their direction, and by steered I mean dragged.

“Yunho. San.” Seonghwa addressed them awkwardly.

“San…” you smiled at him gently.

San looked between you and Seonghwa awkwardly as you two were still holding hands and you were practically leaning on him. You let go of Seonghwa’s hand but still kept your position next to him.

You glanced to Yunho and saw him looking away with his jaw clenched,

“How about we go get dinner together?”

“Ummm… you know… I’m not really hungry…” you were honestly really hungry but you didn’t want to go eat with Yunho. “No come on! I’ll buy?” He hit your weak spot and he knew it.

“Fine… but I want ice cream after.” San rolled his eyes but agreed and made everyone pile into his car.

You sat in the back with Seonghwa while you drove to San’s favourite restaurant that conveniently was on the other side of town during traffic hour. You were getting bored since your phone died at work earlier in the day.

After about 10 minutes of staring out the back window at the traffic Seonghwa gave you one of his earbuds so you could listen to music with him. You leaned against his shoulder and closed your eyes since it felt like you were gonna be stuck in traffic for forever.

Eventually you got to the restaurant since Seonghwa woke you up saying we have to hurry before San orders without us. San was long gone and it was only you, Seonghwa, and Yunho in the car. You blinked at him confused, “cute” he winked at you and pecked your lips. You jumped as you heard the car door slam shut as Yunho walked into the restaurant.

Seonghwa chuckled and opened the door to go in the restaurant. You sat there for a second completely confused, Seonghwa has never kissed you in front of other people before so that really messed your mind up.

No one other than you, san, and Seonghwa knew about you two. You were best friends but sometimes there would be a few hookups here and there. It wasn’t really that serious between you two, and there was no romantic feelings between you and Seonghwa. It’s just… sometimes when he spends the night… it’ll be a little more than sleeping… but that's no ones business… except San… because he’s joined before…

After you got over your little moment you got out the car yourself and caught up with Seonghwa.

You were honestly confused about what was happening and why everyone was acting funny but you decided to just push it to the back of your mind and just enjoy the dinner.

It was a cute diner that’s been here forever, and you and San usually come alone but since everyone is deciding to be an ass the whole world had to join as well. You got your usual, a waffle (even though it was dinner time) and Yunho got what he always used to get when you came in high school, a bacon cheeseburger with curly fries. San and Seonghwa both got a whole pizza.

Everyone was talking besides you, it honestly wasn’t because you were uncomfortable, it was it just because you missed being able to do this. You missed going out with your friends and not having to worry about Yunho picking on you every 5 seconds.

You found yourself staring at Yunho. This was the first time you both came back here after fighting and declaring you both hated each other.

Even though it was on the opposite side of town, Yunho had a license and always drove you two to get burgers and share a milkshake.

You’re probably being over emotional but you start to tear up and Yunho isn’t completely oblivious to you so he notices and stares at your teary eyes not knowing what to do.

You pull yourself together once you get your food, “Y/N- you’re such a loser, why do you always get breakfast?” San eyes your waffle suspiciously. “Is there Crack in it or something?” You fling some of your tea at him, “No you idiot, I just like waffles…” he rolls his eyes and shrugs as Seonghwa asks for you to feed him a bite of your waffle.

You stare down at your plate contemplating if you really want to share your waffle but in the end you agree and cut him a piece and feed him the waffle.

“Mhmm, it almost tastes as good as you…” you snap your eyes to Seonghwa as he winks at you. You hear someone suck in their breath and you’re literally so confused on what is wrong with everyone. You decide to ignore Seonghwas comment and go back to eating your waffle silently while Seonghwa and San talk with Yunho occasionally adding his input.

You were honestly eyeing Yunho’s curly fries the whole time since you literally haven’t eaten them since high school. You’re looking down at your waffle and you see Yunho grab a handful of his curly fries and place them onto your plate. You look up at him and you send him an appreciative smile and he could see back when y'all were 16.

If you were to ask Yunho what happened to your friendship, you’d get a completely different answer.

Back in 9th grade when you got a boyfriend, he was honestly truly happy for you. Sure he was jealous that he didn’t have you to himself but it was to be expected.

One night someone came to his house really late. It was Felix, your boyfriend. As soon as he opened the door, a fist came in contact with his nose. Long story short Felix told him to stay away from “his girlfriend” because you are “his” and he can’t afford losing you to “someone like him.”

After that he didn’t go to school for the next few days because of the bruising, avoided your calls and texts, then after awhile completely pretended you didn’t exist.

He knew how much it hurt you. 9 years of friendship, down the drain. Just because of some stupid boy who doesn’t even know how to treat you. Yunho loved you. He had been in love with you since he could remember. You obviously didn’t like him because you two were best friends, but to Yunho it was okay. He was okay with just being friends because he didn’t want to lose you.

After you broke up with Felix, you tried fixing the relationship between you and Yunho, but he had built his walls back up and started arguing with you as a defense mechanism. It wasn’t the healthiest of all things to do since it caused the both of you to completely stop talking until you both somehow got the same job.

It leads to now, where he’s giving you all his fries because he knows they’re your favourite. It doesn’t matter how much you two argue, he always gives you what you want, even though you don’t know it.

Everyone is done with their food and you excuse yourself to go outside. While you were coming in you saw this store that sold different paintings and posters. There is customised art you can make with an audio and they will paint the auto waves.

You sent the artist a voice message that you still have with Yunho. It was you apologising after one of the first fights you had. The whole voice memo was basically you telling Yunho how much you love him and you’ll be his friend forever while sobbing.

This was basically going to be your “Look I don’t know what happened, but let’s start over because I still love you so much” gift.

You quickly placed your order and went back to the restaurant and saw San paying. You wrap your arms around Sans shoulders, “Thank you San-a. You’re the best.” He turns around and brings you into a hug, “So… how about the icecream now?”

You quickly pull away, “Okay! Let’s now!” San and Seonghwa both laughed as Yunho rolled his eyes in the back while hiding a smile. Everyone knew ice cream was your favourite, chocolate chip cookie dough, that’s the one you always got.

The 4 of you walked to the ice cream parlour on the next block. San and Seonghwa were immersed in a conversation walking ahead of you and Yunho.

You and Yunho were walking side by side completely quiet, the tension was so thick you could physically feel it.

“So, who’d you get for secret Santa?” Yunho slowed down a little bit for the both of you to talk. “Oh, umm it’s called secret Santa for a reason, it's a secret” you look up at Yunho with a small smile. “Mhm… that’s fair I guess” he says with a small laugh.

“So… what about you? Who’d you get?” He laughs loudly at your question, “What?! I thought it was a secret? You’re not gonna tell me yours but you want me to tell you mine? What a cheat!” You elbow him in the side and roll your eyes.

“How about… we both give hints?” At this point you were both aware you got each other, and you were both just picking for fun.

He Yunho pretended to think for a few seconds, “okay, fine… so… the person I got… SHE is someone I care about. Like a lot. And I don’t think she knows it anymore but maybe after I get the gift she’ll remember all the good things that happened with us…” you both had stopped waking. You could feel your heart beating faster and you could feel yourself breathing harder.

You nodded, “y-yeah. Mine. Umm… is also to a person I care a lot about… and I hope after I give him the present it’ll clear things up… you know? And it might not be a lot, but it was really fucking expensive so he better appreciate it.” You told Yunho before winking at him.

You were walking off to catch up with Seonghwa and San who didn’t even notice you two were gone.

“Wait!” You turn around to see Yunho jogging after you. “What?” You stop and turn around. “You already got your present? We just got our people today,” you smiled at him, “No, I placed the order already. It should be ready to get picked up in a few days.” Yunho blinks at you confused but nods anyway.

You and Yunho are still walking side by side as you both enter the ice cream shop, “You want the usual?” You agree without even thinking about how Yunho knows what ice cream you get.

You go to sit with Seonghwa at the booth at the back of the parlour.

Seonghwa sits staring at you for a good 30 seconds before you break, “What are you doing? Why are you eye fucking me? You and San have both been acting weird all day.” Seonghwa looks behind you quickly before leaning in to the point where your noses were touching. You involuntarily look down to his lips and you can feel your cheeks start to get red, “I really don’t know what you mean Y/N. Can I not just appreciate my best friend?”

He licks his lips as he tilts his head. Your lips were brushing and you could feel his smirk against your lips, “I mean, when you’re practically making out with me… isn’t that a bit more than appreciating?”

“Here’s your ice cream Hwa,” San came rushing to the table practically throwing Seonghwa’s cup to him.

You pulled away from Seonghwa and turned your body the opposite direction to calm yourself down. You rested your cool hands on your burning cheeks as you saw Yunho wasn’t far behind San.

You’re not really sure what Seonghwa is doing but it’s most definitely supposed to make someone jealous, you’re not completely oblivious to what’s happening. You’re just not sure who… Either San or Yunho, and you don’t understand why he would ever try to make San jealous, so it had to be Yunho.

You were really confused but decided to play along with whatever game San and (mostly) Seonghwa were playing. All you had to do was flirt shamelessly, right? It couldn’t be that hard, you just had to pay attention to Yunho’s reactions at the same time.

Yunho handed you your waffle cone and you took it with a smile. You exchanged a look with San that told him you knew what they were doing. He looked at Seonghwa, who was looking at you, and elbowed him in the side. Seonghwa smirked at you and looked back down at his ice cream. You looked back at San and kicked him on his shin as a warning.

The whole time Yunho was looking between the three of you trying to figure out what was happening. Yunho decided to ignore whatever was happening but made a note to ask San about it later.

Yunho wasn’t particularly fond of Seonghwa. But Seonghwa was your best friend and he had no control over it. There wasn’t any need for him to be that flirty with you. I mean yeah, all best friends are like that but you don’t go kissing your best friend for no reason. Right? Yunho could tell you were kinda confused on what was happening as well but he also saw you went along with it. So it obviously wasn’t unwanted… Yunho was just really confused. He was jealous too. He knew he had no right to be jealous because he wasn’t dating you, you couldn’t even really call each other friends anymore.

You looked around a little to see if anyone was paying attention to you. San and Yunho were in a conversation about their upcoming project for work, and Seonghwa was sitting on his phone.

You move move your foot to start rubbing on Seonghwa’s lower leg. He looks up at you then to Yunho, who’s not paying attention, then back to his phone.

You continue to eat your ice cream pretending that you don’t know what your doing, you have to be really careful. San probably won’t notice, but Yunho is sitting right next to you and has a clear view of under the table.

You stop, but leave your foot where it is. You finish the rest of your ice cream, and decide to keep messing with Seonghwa.

Your legs are a lot shorter than you originally think, so you scoot forward causing Seonghwa to put his phone down and look at you. You look at him as innocently as possible as he shakes his head in a warning.

You slide your foot up to rest on his thigh. Seonghwa looks at you with a smile before bouncing his leg causing you to bang your knee on the underneath of the table, “ow fuck!” Yunho and Sans attention turns to you, and Yunho looks under the table to see your foot on Seonghwa’s thigh. He looks between you and Seonghwa, “you good?” He asks you awkwardly, “She’s fine.” Yunho looks to you and you nod in reassurance.

Yunho looks at you a little bit longer then turns to continue his conversation with San. Seonghwa is laughing to himself as you get a surge of confidence and place your foot on his crotch. He groans loudly with wide eyes and once again, all the attention is on you two.

You quickly move your foot back to his thigh, and you look at Seonghwa with wide eyes. San and Yunho both snap their heads to Seonghwa and you look around pretending you didn’t hear anything.

San looked at you with wide eyes. You shake your head knowing what he’s asking. He raises his eyebrows at you and you bite your lip while looking down. San snorts as he’s looking at Yunho’s confused expression, “So, Seonghwa… how's your project going?” San winks at you as you move your foot to go back to his crotch. Seonghwa looks between you and San and if looks could kill, you’d both be dead.

“Umm… you know, we’re almost done. And I-It’ll be d-done probably by F-Friday.” You’re putting more pressure on his length with your foot and you start to move it slowly.

You can see Seonghwa’s face start to get red. His fist is clenched on top of the table and you can see his knuckles turning white.

“Are you okay… Seonghwa?” Seonghwa lifts his face from his hands and shoots Yunho a look, “I’m fine.” Yunho nods and gets on his phone awkwardly.

Seonghwa nods his head towards the restroom with raised eyebrows. You shake your head not wanting San to know what’s going to happen and leave Yunho confused. You contemplate if you should actually get up or not, but in the end you decide to go to the restroom, “Hey, I’ll be right back, I’m going to the restroom.” Yunho nods while San is looking at you with a knowing look.

You get up and go to the single-stalled family restroom to wait for Seonghwa. You take a second to look at yourself in the mirror and you can see your flushed cheeks and your dark eyes looking back at you. You see the door open behind you and before you can even turn around the door is locked and there’s a hand around your throat.

“You’re such a fucking slut, you’re really trying to get me off when there are people next to us? Huh? What if Yunho saw? What if San tells him what a fucking whore you are?” Your breathing becomes heavier as Seonghwa speaks in your ear.

“See, look at yourself in the mirror. Don’t you look like a whore letting me touch you in the restroom?” Seonghwa’s hands are moving lower down to your chest. “Answer me, Kitten.” You whine softly as you feel his mouth on your neck.

“Y-Yes. Yes, I’m being a whore for letting you t-touch me in the restroom.” Seonghwa starts leaving small marks on your neck.

“Mhmm… right, my whore.” He turns your body to where you’re facing him.

“I’m gonna tell you what’s gonna happen okay?” you nod as you move to attach your lips to Seonghwa’s neck. “You’re gonna suck me off, then we’re gonna go back and pretend this didn’t happen, yeah? Then when we get back to the apartment, I’ll take care of you. Deal?” you start to argue but stop since you know it’s not gonna get you anything so you agree and continue to mark Seonghwa’s neck with your pretty pink marks.

Seonghwa runs his hands down your hair, he grabs a chunk of it and pulls you back, “You better hurry kitten before Yunho notices we’ve been gone for too long.

You sink down to your knees and unbutton Seonghwa’s pants. He’s already hard so you can see the strain left on both his jeans and boxers. You look up at him once more for conformation, and once he nods his head you reach to grab his length from in his boxers. You stare for a second before tightening your grip and moving your hand slowly.

You hear Seonghwa groan from above you and it only gives you the confidence to bring yourself closer and place the head on your tongue. You smile as you can feel the weight of him on your tongue and you look up at him with the most innocent look you can give.

You close your mouth around the tip and he moves to hold your face in one of his hands. “Fuck, you’re so pretty kitten.” You smile softly while taking more of his length in your mouth.

You feel him grab the back of your hair and take that as a cue to move your hands to his thighs. “Tap my thighs if you need me to stop, okay?” You close your eyes and he takes it as an okay to continue.

He strokes your hair softly for a few seconds before starting to slowly move his hips. He’s holding your head with both of his hands and started to go deeper and faster. You could feel your eyes start to water already and you quickly thank yourself for not wearing any makeup today.

Seonghwa was getting desperate. His precum coming out more frequently, he was snapping his hips harshly as wet, gagging sounds filled the air around you. He pushes your head all the way down his cock until your nose was touching his pubic bone. You gripped his thigh tighter as you focused on breathing through your nose.

You opened your eyes for a second, catching Seonghwa’s eyes as he was looking down at you. He throws his head back as he moans your name loudly. He was so close, you could feel him twitching in your mouth as he held your head still.

You tapped on his thigh a few times and he immediately pulls out of your mouth. You take in a big breath as you see a string of saliva connecting from the tip of his dick to your lips.

He was looking down at your fucked out face. Your checks were tinted a rose colour, your eyelashes were wet with tears, and your swollen lips wet with saliva.

He moves his hand from your head and holds your face gently in his hands, wiping your tears from your face.

You move to take his cock in your hand once again and this time your both a lot more gentle. He watches you softly as you slowly kiss down his length before carefully placing the head back in your mouth.

You suck softly on the head and you’re starting to find it hard not to touch yourself. You whine as your taking more of his length into your mouth, “I know kitten, we’ll go back soon. I’ll take good care of you kitten, just wait okay?” You nod softly as you grip the rest of his length.

“Gonna let me cum in your mouth? Gonna swallow it all like a good kitten?” You look up at Seonghwa and whine loudly. You pull off his cock with a popping sound as you look up and open your mouth for him.

He looks down at you with your eyes on his face and your mouth open ready to catch all his cum in your mouth like a good kitten.

He grips his cock and continued to get himself off in front of your face. “S-such a good kitten, good girl. Fuck, let-letting me cum on your face in the restroom. S-so good… sucking my cock like a little whore in the restroom, t-then going out and talking to o-our friends. I-It's okay right? B-because you’re my whore right?” You felt like you could cum untouched at this point.

You moaned loudly and that was all it took for him to cum. You were able to catch most of his cum in your mouth and some sprinkled your cheeks and chin.

You waited until he gave you the okay then you closed your mouth to swallow. You opened your mouth to show you swallowed and Seonghwa strokes your hair, whispering praises.

He tucks himself back in his pants and gives you a hand to help you up. He looks around for a second before getting a paper towel and wetting it so he can carefully wipe the cum off your face.

“Turn around kitten,” you turn around and you get a good look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes widen as you see how you look. “S-Seonghwa… it looks like I just got fucked in the restroom,” he laughs as he’s trying his best to fix your hair. “You’re not wrong,” you turn around and snack his chest.

You look back in the mirror and you see the hickey’s covering your neck and jaw. You start whining about the marks but then see you see the marks you left on Seonghwa’s neck so you stop.

“I tried my best kitten, you go first,” he kisses you gently and he brings his hand down to cup your crotch, “I’ll take care of you in a minute, just be a good girl.” You let out a quiet moan and move so you can unlock the door and walk out.

Seonghwa looks at you with a smirk as you pause to look out the door to make sure no one is there. You look back at Seonghwa and he nods at you to go. You look at the clock on the wall 8:58, you’ve been in the restroom for around 25 minutes. You walk back to the table thinking of excuses to tell if they ask, even though San was well aware of what you were doing.

You sat back down next to Yunho awkwardly trying your best to cover the right side of your face with your hair.

“Why were you in the restroom so long?” You snapped your head up in San’s direction. “What?” He’s such a little shit, “you heard me,” you looked towards Yunho and he was scanning your face expectantly. “Umm… you know… girl problems…” he pretended to nod in understanding. Yunho looked back down at his phone with cheeks red with embarrassment.

After a couple more minutes Seonghwa comes back to the table, “So, are we ready to go?” You look down with a smile. “Where were you?” You roll your eyes and look up at San. You turn and see Yunho scanning Seonghwa, his eyes widen and he looks over at you with the same expression.

You’re completely aware they can both see all of Seonghwa’s hickeys and if you’re not careful, they’re both going to be able to see yours too.

Seonghwa completely ignores the question and gets up, “Alrighty, I don’t know about yall but I’m tired so we should get going.” You nod and get up to join Seonghwa. When you get up you shuffle uncomfortably, your underwear is sticking to your core and you can feel how uncomfortable it is.

San and Yunho are both blinking up at you two and Yunho shrugs and stands up as well. Seonghwa starts to walk out of the shop and he puts his hand out for you to take it. You grab his hand and walk quickly to catch up with him.

Neither of you are really paying attention to if Yunho and San are behind you. You’re both walking really fast towards the restaurant that’s down the street so you can go to sans car.

“Are they dating?” Sans head turns to Yunho. “Sorry, what?” San looks ahead to see you and Seonghwa walking hand in hand. “Umm… no… They’re just really close. Best friends.” If he was being honest, he has no idea if yall were dating. He thought it was just hookups occasionally, but sometimes you two look like a couple.

“Are you sure they’re not more than friends? Like… you know… you saw his neck.” San had no idea what to tell him. Yunho had told San about what had happened between the two of you, and he told San that he really likes you.

San sighed heavily, “Yunho, you shouldn’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.” Yunho looked at San, “Really? Is that what they were doing in the restroom?” Fuck. “You know, Yunho, I’m not sure. Maybe. But look, they’re best friends. They’ve been best friends for over 5 years now. They’re closer than anyone else. Yunho they’re probably closer than you two were. But I can tell you right now, yeah they might hookup every once in a while, but there isn’t any romantic attraction.” Yunho is staring at the two of you like he just saw a ghost.

“How, how are you sure about that?” San rolls his eyes, “You really need to stop asking questions. This thing between them has been going on for maybe 3 out of the 5 years they’ve been friends. They’ve both dated since they’ve been friends, it stops. When y/n got a boyfriend last year, they stopped hooking up. If there were romantic feelings, they wouldn’t have dated or they would be dating each other.” Yunho nods but he really doesn’t look so sure. He feels a pang of jealousy as he sees Seonghwa lean down to whisper something in your ear.

“How do you know so much?” San ignored Yunho’s question and kept walking. “No san, I’m serious. Do you… do it too… with Seonghwa?” San still didn’t answer his question, “Yunho, what did I just tell you? I just told you to stop asking questions you don’t want the answer to,” Yunho sighed heavily, “Why?” San looked at him like he was crazy, “what do you mean why?” Yunho rolled his eyes, “you know exactly what I’m asking San. Is it the same as Seonghwa? Just to hookup?” San nodded, “look, I don’t like her as more than a friend. None of us do, just you. And if you choose to pursue your feelings, then go for it.”

“Seonghwa shut up they’re gonna hear you,” the whole time yall were walking Seonghwa was saying what he wants to do to you out loud. Seonghwa smirks as he sees the car in the parking lot. He turns around and sees Yunho and San are a significant distance behind you two. As you both approach the car he grabs your hips and pushes you against the car.

“Hwa, they're gonna see us…” you moan loudly as he sticks his knee between your legs. He presses his knee against your core as he leans forward brings you into a kiss. Seonghwa is softly rubbing at your side as he brushes his tongue against your bottom lip.

You always forget how good of a kisser Seonghwa is, his lips are soft and it always makes you feel like you’re in heaven.

You whine as he takes his knee from between your legs. “Hwa please, I cant… fuck,” you needed to be touched so bad. “Kitten, do you want San and Yunho to see? Maybe you do huh? Are me and San not enough? Do you want Yunho too? Do you want Yunho to see what a little whore you are? Want him to fuck you too?” You shake your head, “N-no I just, I just need you to touch me” he rolled his eyes looking down at you. “If you don’t stop being a brat I’m not-“ he got cut off as you heard the car door unlock.

Seonghwa cupped your core again, “you’re gonna sit with your legs open, okay kitten? So everyone will be able to smell how sweet you are.”

You opened the door and scooted to the end. Seonghwa came in after you and sat in the middle. He pulled your leg to go over his and he rested his hand on your inner thigh. You looked towards him as he laughed, “I can smell how wet you are,” you looked at Seonghwa before you stuck your hand in your pants. Seonghwa immediately grabbed your wrist and tried to take your hand out of your jeans, “what the fuck are you doing? You groaned, “touching myself since you’re not touching me.”

When you heard the door open you took your hand out of your pants, “oh my god, you’re such a fucking brat” Seonghwa said while Yunho was getting in the car. Seonghwa left his hand on your thigh, part of his hand resting on your core.

San got in the car shortly after Yunho, “What’re y'all in such a rush for?” San turns to see if any cars are coming and he sees Seonghwa’s hand practically on your crotch. He snickers and goes back to pulling out of the parking, “Umm… no reason in particular, we’re just tired.” San hums in understanding, “I’m pretty tired too, how about all four of us go take a nap together?” San winks at you in the rearview mirror. Seonghwa laughs next to you as your cheeks turn red.

“Answer him.” You turn to Seonghwa and you shake your head. San looks at you in the mirror again with that stupid smirk, “Umm… you can join if you want…” Yunho looks to San with a clenched jaw now that he knows what they’re talking about.

“I will if Yunho joins,” you whine softly as Seonghwa rubs up and down your clothed core. You reach a red light and San turns to watch what Seonghwa is doing.

You can sense that Yunho is probably uncomfortable so you try your best to ignore what’s happening. You close your eyes and bring your hands up to your face, “Y-Yunho probably doesn’t want to.” San bites his lip and turns to Yunho, “Do you want to?”

You’re fully expecting Yunho to say no since he probably already knows what’s happening. Seonghwa places pressure straight on your clit and starts to make small circles. You’re still parked at the light even though it’s now green. It’s past 9 and there are no cars out on a Wednesday night.

“Y-Yes I’ll Umm… I’ll join…” you whine loudly and close your legs as you were so close to cumming. “S-Seonghwa, I’m- I can’t, please,” he strokes your thigh softly, “I know kitten it’s okay, go ahead.” You see San look towards Yunho. Yunho is still looking forward, probably out of embarrassment. “Wait, Seonghwa, scoot over so Yunho can see Y/N,”

Seonghwa moves to the other seat so you can move and be in the middle. “Yunho, why don’t you look and see how pretty my kitten is?” Seonghwa tells Yunho to look in your direction. Seonghwa unbuttons your pants and sticks his hand into your underwear.

Seonghwa runs his fingers down your slit, collecting all of your juices on his fingers. He pulls his hand out of your pants to show his wet fingers.

Yunho looks back in time for Seonghwa to offer his wet fingers to San who’s now palming himself. You watch San suck on Seonghwa’s fingers with a whine. “You wanna touch her?” Seonghwa asks San as he pulls his fingers out of his mouth. “I can wait, wanna touch her properly,” Seonghwa looks to Yunho and as expected he shakes his head.

Seonghwa shrugs as he sticks his hands back in your pants, this time inserting a finger into you. You start to whine and moan loudly, “Fuck, Seonghwa please. I need to cum. I’ll be good now, I promise.” You can feel all 3 pairs of eyes on you. Seonghwa and San are both staring at you with zero hesitation and Yunho is taking glances at you every few seconds, “Kitten, your such a whore,” Yunho’s eyebrows shoot up as he hears Seonghwa calling you names. Seonghwa adds another finger and starts to move them as fast as he can with your pants constricting his hand. “Fuck, San, look at our whore, how she’s begging to cum like a little bitch. So desperate kitten. You like the attention don’t you? Me and San just weren’t enough to please you huh?” You’re moaning uncontrollably now as Seonghwa looks up to Yunho, “Now you need Yunho too huh? You need Yunho to help us fuck you right?”

Yunho is looking at you and Seonghwa with wide eyes then turns to look at San who has a smirk on his face. San looks down at Yunho’s bulge. San grabs one of Yunho’s fists that’s resting on his leg and moves it to press on his bulge.

The pressure that San adds to Yunho’s hand makes him whimper. San freezes and looks at Yunho with a shocked expression, “Did- did you…” Yunho flushes red as he continues to palm himself.

Your eyes shoot up to Yunho when you hear the noise he made, “fuck fuck fuck,” Seonghwa himself is shocked but he’s more focused on you right now, “You didn’t answer my question kitten, You weren’t satisfied with the two of us huh? You want yunho to join so he can help us fuck you. Since two cocks isn’t enough for you.” You nod vigorously, “Fuck, yes. I need Y-Yunho’s cock too. I need 3 cocks t-to make me S-satisfied cause I’m a wh-whore.”

Hearing you say that made Yunho start to moan loudly, “F-Fuck, Yunho” you’re staring at his face. He looks so pretty with his cheeks flushed and his mouth open to let out his pretty moans. “You S-sound, fuck, you sound so pretty,” he bites his lip to keep his smile from showing.

Yunho lets out more of his pretty moans and you can’t hold it anymore. Your legs start to shake as you cum, hard. You’re letting out pornagraphic moans and you can’t stop.

Seonghwa kisses your forehead and San strokes your calf. You eventually open your eyes and see Yunho biting his lip with a pained expression on his face, “Y-Yunho?” You started carefully “I wish you could see how pretty you look… You look so pretty right now, you’re doing so well.” Everyone’s eyes are on Yunho but he doesn’t even notice.

Seonghwa carefully buttons your pants back up and you sit up with a grimace. You scoot up the seat and you take Yunho’s face in your hand. Yunho starts to breathe louder and his whimpers become louder, filling the car. You look to both San and Seonghwa who are both looking at you and Yunho intently, you hesitate before you say “puppy… can you be good and cum for me?” You hear Seonghwa take in a breath behind you but you’re focused on how pretty Yunho is. Yunho lets out a choked moan as he cums in his pants. You whisper praises to him while playing with his hair.

He opens his eyes and you kiss him softly on his forehead, “you okay?” He gives you the softest smile and nods. You move back in your seat and you look at San, “did you…” he knows what you mean and chuckles, “yeah, like 5 minutes before you did,” you roll your eyes and laugh, “should’ve known, you’re always first.” Laughter fills the car clearing away any awkwardness left. You turn to Seonghwa and ask the same question, “nope, I’d rather cum in you” he tells you with a wink. You turn away without saying anything to look out the window with your flushed cheeks.

San finally continues driving after 30 minutes of sitting at the light, “So… Yunho…” he turns to give Yunho a knowing look. Seonghwa laughs next to you knowing what San is gonna say. “You’re a sub huh? And a bottom?” You bite your lip to contain your smile as you continue looking out the window.

Yunho clears his throat, “I- I don’t know what you’re talking about…” San and Seonghwa both snort loudly as you try your best to control your laughter. “Yeah, right… puppy…” he groans loudly and covers his face in his hands. You giggle softly, “Leave my puppy alone San, you’re just jealous I don’t call you anything cute.” Seonghwa rolls his eyes at the both of you, “y'all are idiots, stop the car, I'd rather walk back.” San jokingly pulls over and stops the car, “okay, bye.” You watch as Seonghwa stares at San with wide eyes. “W-wait… I was just kidding, I love you both” you start laughing and hitting Seonghwa.

Yall continue driving in a comfortable silence. Everyone’s heart is beating a little faster as you get closer to the apartment. The car is starting to fill with a sexual tension you could practically taste. You were all shifting uncomfortably since you all, besides Seonghwa, came in your underwear at some point.

San pulls into his parking spot faster than he’s ever had. All four of you practically jump out of the car and run to the elevator. The four of you all have rooms on different floors of the apartment. Yunho was about to ask who’s room but when Seonghwa immediately presses the floor to your place he looks at you confused, “I have the biggest bed, it usually fits us three but I’m sure it’ll be fine with you.” Yunho nods in understanding. “Yeah, she really splurged on her bed! It’ll fit all four of us just fine.” San has always loved your bed. He always came over for sleepovers and movie nights just so he can lay on your bed.

The elevator opens and you all just stand there waiting for the first person to walk out. You roll your eyes and walk out first taking the key from your bag and going to the end of the hall to go to your place.

Everyone follows behind you as you walk inside your apartment. San and Seonghwa practically live here with you, but Yunho has never been here before so you try and give him a quick tour. “Umm, so Yunho, let me just give you a quick tour. This is the kitchen here to the left. Then this is the living room.” You gestured to the area around you. You walked further into the room and lead Yunho into the hall where all the rooms are. “The first door to the left is the guest restroom. And the door at the end, on the left is the guest room and the one on the right is the master bedroom, my room, with the master bathroom.”

Yunho looks around trying to take in the information, “I don’t know about you two, but we’re gonna go fuck now.” Seonghwa takes your hand and leads you to your bedroom. He leaves the door open as he picks you up and places you in the middle of your bed.

You wrap your legs around his waist as he starts to kiss down your neck to your chest. “Seonghwa! Why are you so impatient? I haven’t touched her all day.” San came into the room complaining. You opened your eyes to look at San. You smile as you signal him to come towards you.

You look back once again and see Yunho standing by the door, not sure what to do. If you were being honest, you didn’t really know what to do either. It was always just Seonghwa and San, and now that Yunho’s here too you feel the need to pay extra attention to him.

Seonghwa is already lifting your shirt to kiss your stomach. “I- Yu- fuck… Seonghwa-” he lifted your shirt completely off and started to suck on your chest through your bra.

“W-wait Seonghwa…” he stops and looks up at you, “G-get off for a second…” he complains but gets off anyway. He moves to lay where San is sitting as you sit up.

You look up and see Yunho staring at your chest. You smile, “Yun- Puppy, come here please.” He looks between you and the two boys next to you. “It’s alright, they won’t say anything…” he nods and walks towards you and sits right in front of you. “Are you, Are you okay? You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” He looks at you and nods while looking at your lips. “I need you to use your words puppy.” He whines quietly, “I-It’s okay. I want to stay.”

You nod and push him back softly so he’s laying down on his back, “Tell me if you want me to stop, okay puppy?” You hold his face gently in your hands. You’re straddling his waist and you take a minute to look at him. You missed Yunho so much. You were staring so intently and lovingly into his eyes, and you knew he knew what you were trying to tell him.

If you didn’t do something, anything, you were going to start crying and no one wants a shirtless crying girl to be sitting on them. You lean down to take him into a kiss.

Seonghwa and San are both giving each other a look knowing this could most likely be the last time this is going to happen, unless Yunho is into that…

You take Yunho's bottom lip into your mouth and you suck on it gently. Yunho starts to breathe heavier as he opens his mouth to allow access to your tongue. You and Yunho both know why you’re being so gentle, you’re trying your best to make up for everything that’s happened.

Yunho whimpers quietly as you pull away. He chases your lips and you peck his lips softly. He has his fists clenched beside him as his eyes move down to your chest and stomach. “You can touch me,” he slowly places his hands on your waist, “Y-You’re so pretty.” Your heart felt like it could burst. You were looking at Yunho with the biggest heart eyes, “Not prettier than you puppy,” his cheeks tinted with a pink as he looks away from you.

You look towards Seonghwa and San for the first time. They both pulled their length out of their pants and were watching You and Yunho while jerking themselves off.

You smile to yourself again while watching as Yunho’s breathing becomes more labored. You scoot yourself lower and feel Yunho’s bulge on your crotch.

You reach to pull Yunho’s shirt off and as your taking it off you can see all of his pretty flushed skin. He covers his face with his hands, “Don’t cover your face puppy, you’re so pretty. Look at how pretty you look right now, you look so fucked out and I haven’t even touched you properly.” You move to kiss down his neck and to his chest and stomach. As you make your way down to his stomach you leave marks all the way down to the top of his jeans.

“You okay puppy?” He moans loudly as you take your tongue and lick between his nipples. “Mhm, I’m okay.” You could feel his hips struggling not to move against your core. “Do you want me to touch you?” Yunho have you a small nod in response, “I need you to use your big boy voice puppy.” He looks at you with pleading eyes, “I- Uhh… I want you to t-touch me p-please.”

You look back over to where the two boys are, “you think I should touch him as he pleases?” San pretends to think, “you know… I wouldn’t… I’d make him wait…” Seonghwa shrugs, “I dunno, but I wanna touch you, so that’s what I’m gonna do.” You squeal as Seonghwa pulls you off of Yunho and pushes you down harshly on the bed.

You roll your eyes at Seonghwa, “You're so impatient, you can’t even wait 20 minutes.” You gasp as Seonghwa pulls down both your pants and your panties at the same time. “F-fuck. Come here Yunho,” San told Yunho to join the three of you. Seonghwa had completely pulled off the clothing on the bottom half of your body, and he was now holding your legs open. San moves to the top part of your body and reached down to undo your bra.

Seonghwa is holding your legs open so Yunho could see the juices soaking your core. “You can touch her, you know. I promise she’ll like it.” Yunho looks at me for conformation, “It’s okay. You can touch me puppy.”

San was looking at you with an amazed expression. He’s never seen this side of you, your Dom side. They never really gave you a chance but he’s never really seen you as someone who could Dom because you look so soft.

San never took Yunho as a Sub either. But when he was laying underneath you and even now when he’s asking you for permission, it fits him. Yunho usually has this strong boy persona when he’s with you and it’s his first time seeing him so… desperate.

Yunho carefully takes two of his fingers and runs then up your core. You moan loudly and try to close your legs but Seonghwa is holding them. San and Seonghwa are both staring at Yunho as he’s staring at your core like it’s not real.

Yunho slowly inserts two of his fingers into you and you arch your back softly starting to grip San’s thigh. “Is- is it okay?” Yunho whispers as he starts to move his fingers slowly. “S-So good puppy. You’re doing so good.” You’re moaning quietly as you’re looking down to his chest and stomach.

“puppy, can you take off your pants for me?” You look to Seonghwa and he has a smirk on his face, “it’s okay puppy, I just wanna see how pretty you are.” Yunho looks to San and he nods to give Yunho some reassurance.

“Kitten, I’m gonna tell you what you’re going to do okay?” Seonghwa speaks up as Yunho starts to take his pants off. “You’re going fuck Yunho, then you’re gonna let me and San fuck you like the whore you are. And you’re going to let all 3 of us cum inside you.” You nod mindlessly as you’re watching Yunho slide his pants off. “And you’re going to cum for each of us.” Your head turns to San, “w-what? No, I won’t be able to…” San grabs your face in his hand, “yes you can, and you will.”

You turn back to Yunho and you keep your eyes trained on his bulge. You look back at his face when you hear a whimper come from his pretty lips. You sit up and you run your hands down to the waist of his boxers. “Can I?” You ask Yunho. “P-please.”

You smile softly at him and bring down his boxers to expose his length the the three of you. Your mouth drops slightly and you lick your lips. “Puppy, you’re so big…” he covers his face again as you softly graze his length with a finger. “Don’t cover your face or else I’m not gonna touch you, okay puppy?” He whines but takes his hands off his face and looks back at you.

Yunho was bigger than both San and Seonghwa. You grab him carefully and your fingers don’t even touch. Your heart is beating hard against your ribs and look look over to San who’s looking between Yunho and his length.

“Y/n?” You looked up at him “yes puppy?” He hesitates for a second before he finally says, “C-Can- Can I please you?” You let a huge smile come over your face, “come here puppy” you lay down on your back and bring him to lay on top of you.

You try to mentally prepare yourself, but you find yourself unable to contain the loud moan you release when you feel the head of his cock prob at your clit.

Yunho looks at you with his length in his hand, “C-Can I?” You nod as he grabs one of your hands in his.

Yunho readjusts himself above you, he lines up his erection with your entrance and you hold your breath. You feel the stretch of your walls and it’s something you haven’t felt this strongly in years. You squeeze your eyes shut and you squeeze Yunho’s hand tighter.

Yunho whines loudly as he first enters you but stops as he feels you tense up. “A-are you okay?” You nod, “y-yeah, fuck. Y-you can k-keep going.” Yunho slowly pushes himself all the way in and stops so you and adjust to him.

Yunho is whimpering above you and your rubbing his side softly, “y-you can move p-puppy.”

Yunho is moving slowly trying to let you get used to the feeling, “d-does it h-hurt?” You shake your head to get him to continue.

Yunho finally finds a comfortable pace and he held your hand and was staring at your face with the most loving look. You’re looking up at Yunho and he looks like he’s biting his lip so hard it’s going to draw blood, “P-Puppy, don’t- don’t hold your pretty noises in. I wanna hear you.”

He finally starts to let his noises out. His soft whines and moans were making your core throb as he was moving at a faster pace.

The room was being filled with moans and whimpers coming from you and Yunho, and groans coming from San and Seonghwa who were watching the two of you from the other side of the bed.

His thrusts become quick and sloppy, and the sound of skin slapping can be heard throughout your whole place. Everyone can tell your close, Yunho can feel you clenching around him and your moans become louder and more frequent.

Yunho brings himself down so he can go to kissing and sucking on your neck, and that’s it for you. You see stars behind your closed eyes as you feel waves of euphoria come over your whole body. His name comes out of your mouth like it’s the only word you know.

You can hear Yunho moaning above you as he stilled inside you. “F-fuck, puppy, you’re doing so well for me.” He slowly starts to move again and you wrap your legs around his waist trying to ignore the overstimulation.

You can hear his quiet moans in your ear and it urges you to want to make him cum, “You’re such a good boy, you’re doing so good for me. You sound so pretty. I wish I could hear your pretty moans all day.” You clench around him, Urging him to cum. “C-Can I c-cum please?” You smile and rub his back in a comforting manner, “yes puppy, cum for me please.” As soon as you gave him permission you felt his seed release inside of you.

His strength gave out as he let all his body weight go on top of you. His heavy breathing was all that could be heard as he places his head in the crook of your neck.

You bring one hand to rub his back and another hand to play with his hair, “You’re okay puppy. You did so well for you. Did such a good job for me.” You tilted your head so you can place kisses on the top of his head and on his forehead.

He carefully takes his head out of your neck and looks at you for a minute. You smile at him and place a kiss on his nose then down to his lips.

He pulls out of you with a grimace and you subconsciously clench to keep his cum inside you. Yunho moves to the side and San quickly replaces Yunho’s spot.

San reaches down to collect the cum that was coming out of your entrance and shoves two fingers into your core to put it back, “Hope that was nice, now I’m gonna fuck you like the whore you are.” San immediately puts his whole length into your entrance and starts moving right away.

He pulls out to see a mix of yours and Yunho’s cum on his cock. San flips you over so your laying on your stomach “gonna fuck you so hard you’re not gonna be able to walk tomorrow.” Your clenching around him impossibly hard as you can already feel the coil start to build in your stomach.

San grabs a chunk of your hair and pulls you up so you’re now in doggy style. Your arms are barely able to keep you up, “you like it don’t you? You like us fucking you like the whore you are. You like for us to treat you like the whore you are. I can tell your close, you gonna cum for me?”

Your arms gave out and the only thing holding you up is sans grip on your hips, your letting out muffled moans into the pillow. “You’re gonna cum whenever I tell you to okay? I want you to wait until I cum.” You try your best to nod your head.

You’re so close to cumming. You start to bring your hips back to meet Sans thrusts, “San, please… can’t, I- I need… fuck” your blabbering incoherently as San moves his hand down to rub your clit. “F-Fuck okay baby, c-cum- cum for me” you let your orgasm take over your body. When San let’s go of your hips you immediately sink into the bed. You feel San kiss down your back telling you praises.

Seonghwa flips you over carefully, “can you cum one more time for me kitten?” Your eyes are starting to become heavy but you nod anyways. “Use your words Kitten.” You whine from overstimulation as Seonghwa is rubbing his cock up and down your slit watching it get covered in the mixture of cum. “Y-yes. I can take it.” Seonghwa nods as he slowly sinks his cock into you with a groan. “If you need me to stop kitten, what’s the safe word?” You grip Seonghwa’s shoulders, “p-purple” Seonghwa kisses you gently “Good kitten.”

Seonghwa was being gentle. If you noticed it so would San, and probably even Yunho if he was paying attention earlier. He started off with a slow pace making sure to kiss every part of your face. Your heart was beating so hard in your chest that Seonghwa could probably hear it.

Your core was throbbing as Seonghwa was reaching deeper inside of you causing your orgasm to build up again.

“Fuck kitten, I’ve been waiting all day for this. How are you still so tight after being fucked so much?” Seonghwa was struggling to keep his Dom persona up. Seonghwa was breathing hard and his thrusts were begging to get sloppy.

The room was filled with Seonghwa’s heavy breathing and your moans, along with the wet squelching noises coming from your bottom half.

“S-Seonghwa, I’m gonna-” he nodded and kissed you softly. “It’s okay kitten. So am I.” You pull him into a kiss. You clenched around him as you came for the 4th time that night. His lips were muffling the moans that were spilling from your lips. It wasn’t long after you that he came, his lips still on yours.

Seonghwa pulled out of you carefully as he grabbed a tissue that was on your bedside table to wipe the mess of of his length. You heard both San and Seonghwa get off the bed and Yunho sat beside you playing with your hair.

You heard the water running and some doors open and close as Seonghwa came back with a wet towel to clean you off. He brought the towel in between your legs to clean all the cum from off your thighs and your core.

San came back with some fresh sheets and Yunho picked you up bridal style so San and Seonghwa could take the soiled sheets off your bed and place them in your laundry. San and Seonghwa quickly replaced the sheets on your bed and Yunho placed you back in the middle, “Kitten you need to go use the restroom,” you shake your head, not wanting to get up and go to the restroom. “Kitten, you really have to go. You know that.” You complained but got up and walked the best you could to the restroom.

Seonghwa and San both put their boxers back on and laid down on the bed, “Are you gonna lay down too or are you just gonna stand there?” San asked Yunho while rolling over to cuddle Seonghwa. “Umm… yeah I guess…” yunho already had put his boxers on so he walked to the other side of the bed and laid down a significant distance away from both San and Seonghwa.

You walked out of the restroom and grabbed someone’s shirt from the floor and put it on. You crawled onto the bed and laid down in between Yunho and Seonghwa. Seonghwa grabbed his phone from the bedside table and started scrolling through his social media.

“Hwa what time is it?” You asked with a yawn. Yunho had rolled and rested his head on your chest. You started playing with his hair as you were falling asleep, “11:42” Seonghwa replied.

“Oh shit, I gotta go, I promised my roommate I’d be there my midnight to watch a movie with him.” Everyone nodded and he said he’d lock the door on his way out. It was just you, Seonghwa, and Yunho laying down on the bed. You and Yunho were both half asleep and Seonghwa was on his phone.

After about 5 minutes Seonghwa said he was gonna head out too. He kissed you on the forehead and said bye to Yunho.

“Should I Umm.. should I go too?” Yunho whispered to you when Seonghwa had finally walked out of your place. “No it’s okay. U-unless you want to leave…” you felt him shake his head, “No. I’ll stay.” Your heart was beating against your ribs and you were certain Yunho could hear it since he was laying on your chest.

Yunho started to hold you and you rubbed his back and played with his hair. “Y-Yunho?” you whispered quietly. “Hmm?” You weren’t sure if this was the best time to bring this up, when you were both half naked, “I… I missed you. Like a lot. And I just wanna say I’m sorry for anything I ever did… And I know it probably doesn’t mean much to you… but I still love you so much and I’m so sorry I let anything get in between us.” You were tearing up and yunho pulled away from you to take your face in his hands.

“No no no. It wasn’t your fault.” You sat up and you just let the tears fall from your eyes, “No, it is Yunho. If… If I didn’t like you the way I did, I wouldn’t have said yes to Felix when he asked me out.” You looked down and played with a loose thread on the shirt you were wearing.

“It- it still isn’t your fault y/n. Look at me please.” You looked up to see Yunho looking down at you. “The only reason I stopped talking to you… I just gave up… Felix… Felix knew I liked you as more than a friend.” You looked at Yunho confused. “One day, he came to my house and when I opened the door… he punched me. He punched me and told me to stay away from you because “someone like me” doesn’t deserve “Someone Like You”” you blinked up at Yunho. “And after that I just gave up… I knew you were never going to like me because Felix was popular and smart and funny… and I was just me, your best friend.”

You hold Yunho’s face in your hands, “Yunho I liked you so much… I loved you… and I was just too embarrassed to tell you because I didn’t think you liked me…” Yunho scanned your face for any sense of you lying to him, but when he saw your teary eyes he knew you were telling the truth.

“And… Yunho… oh my god I feel like I’m in middle school again… I still like you a lot and I just… I don’t know. Never mind I’m being stupid.” Yunho shook his head and he pulled you into a kiss. Your heart felt like it was going to explode.

“Look, we can talk about it tomorrow okay? When we’re both dressed.” He pulls you back down so you can lay down.

You both lay in a comfortable silence, “Yunho, on Friday night, do you wanna go get dinner?” You feel him smile against your collarbone, “are you asking me on a date?” He asks while poking your side. “Mhm… then since I’m your secret Santa… we can go get your gift.” He laughs softly, “I would love to go on a date with you… and get a gift the same day? That sounds like a perfect day to me.”

You smile against the top of his head. You’re happy everything is back to normal, even after 6 years of “hating” each other, everything finally feels back in place now that you have Yunho by your side again.

2K notes · View notes

darthmelyanna · 4 years ago

Note

Darn it, I’ve been waiting since the start of the month to send you fic in celebration of your five-year check-up being all good, and in the end, I missed it because of work deadlines keeping me away aha. But congratulations on the excellent news!! And have some fic in celebration!!!

Nope, you are right on time - today is the actual anniversary!

And now, the fic:

1. As soon as he wakes, John knows something is wrong. Firstly, because the bright lights of the infirmary greet him when he opens his eyes, and he is very confident that he wasn’t in the infirmary when they had initially shut. Secondly, because as awareness trickles back in through his mind, so too does a large amount of pain across his body. Most importantly however, is when he glances to his right and sees a stressed-looking Lorne next to his bed rather than the usual sight of Elizabeth. 2. ‘’ere is she?’ he croaks out, pushing himself upright with shaky arms. Lorne thrusts a glass of water under his nose, clearly stalling for time as he waits until John has managed to drink without spilling everything over the covers. ‘How much do you remember?’ he asks, instead of answering, and John’s impatience begins to grow. ‘Enough,’ he says shortly. ‘I remember us visiting M8G-753, I remember Elizabeth coming with us, I remember us having endless boring negotiations with the locals.’ 3. The memories are there, but coming back slowly, pushing though the fog that seems to hang over his head. ‘Well, the negotiations weren’t as boring as you thought,’ Lorne says with a sigh. ‘You were ambushed a few hours ago on your way back to the gate. They clearly targeted those of you carrying weapons, to remove the threat, although in the end it appears as if they were going for a non-lethal approach.’ At this, John looks more closely around the infirmary. ‘The team?’ 4. ‘Bruised but otherwise fine,’ Lorne reassures. ‘Looks like you took the main brunt of the injuries.’ And abruptly John can recall exactly why – can remember how they were cleverly divided under the attack, lured forwards by enemy fire. How Elizabeth and the civilian scientists were left behind, as if that was safer, yet all the while a trap was being set specifically to catch them. He remembers her screams as she and the others were dragged away, and how he couldn’t reach her in time. 5. His feet hit the floor the very next moment, and then Lorne is there, clutching his arm as he attempts to stand upright. ‘No way,’ Lorne shakes his head. ‘Carson will kill me if I let you escape from here.’ John shakes off his support, and manages a slow shuffle forward. ‘Major,’ he says. ‘I am leaving this infirmary and going to get my people. And you can either worry about what the doctor says, or worry about civilians who have been left in hostile territory.’ His tone leaves no argument. 6. Lorne has the good grace not to mention how John is studiously avoiding saying a specific name. Instead, he hesitates for a moment, and then nods his agreement. ‘You might want to change your clothing, Sir, before you embark on any rescue missions,’ he says simply, indicating at the hospital gown with the semblance of a smile. ‘I’ll go ready a team.’ He leaves abruptly, no doubt wanting to avoid any potential confrontation if Carson were to appear. 7. John is grateful for the privacy – it makes it less humiliating as he walks slowly back to his own quarters, trying to put as much distance between himself and the infirmary as possible. His brain is stuck wondering what has happened to Elizabeth, and reflecting on how he failed to keep her safe. He barely notices the numerous bandages across his body as he pulls on more suitable clothes, and by the time he splashes cold water on his face, he can at least move a bit more easily. 8. He still isn’t quite sure how he makes it back to Control however, never mind gearing up and stepping through the Gate. He knows at some point he gave Lorne the nod to go ahead with leading the team, but mostly he focuses on keeping the encroaching darkness at bay from the corner of his vision. The world is slightly hazy, but he needs to remain upright. Elizabeth would be appalled if she saw him, he knows, but the point is that she CAN’T see him, because she isn’t there. 9. The other side of the gate is eerily silent, and it is impossible to know if they are being watched, and if so, by how many. John sidles closer to Lorne. ‘Let’s head towards the town first,’ he says quietly, and Lorne nods in agreement before gesturing to the others. Before they’ve managed to go move however, there is a loud explosion to the left of the gate, and a large plume of smoke begins to rise from the not-too-far treeline. John wordlessly points in this new direction. 10. Fifteen minutes of unrelenting marching later, and the smoke has begun to settle in around them, making it difficult to see. And then, up ahead, figures begin to emerge from the trees. ‘Don’t come any closer,’ John commands, managing to find his voice properly at last. He waits, gun in hand, team at his back, for the response. ‘John?’ someone familiar asks, and suddenly Elizabeth is there, leading a group of dirty, tired scientists towards him. 11. There is a definite limp to her step, and a large cut down her left cheek, but she’s smiling brightly by the time they stand toe-to-toe. ‘You kinda interrupted the rescue mission,’ John says, trying to sound casual and unable to stop a matching grin spreading across his own face. Elizabeth laughs in response. ‘Never underestimate a scientist’s ability to blow something up – including doors,’ she gestures over her shoulder towards a sheepish-looking young woman. 12. ‘After that, it was just a matter of removing the guards.’ Her hand is holding tight to a table leg, he realises, and then with a quick glance around to the rest of the group, sees that they all have various weapons. ‘Leading a violent uprising,’ he notes. ‘I’m impressed.’ Elizabeth nods, and there is weariness to her movements. ‘I will admit that diplomacy is not always the best option,’ she says lightly, but her fingers release the makeshift weapon and it falls to the ground with a thump. 13. They need to move back towards the gate as quickly as possible to avoid another ambush, but then he feels Elizabeth’s forehead drop to his shoulder. His arm comes up to rest on her back, and he allows them to breath for a moment, as around them, the other scientists are being ushered away. ‘OK?’ he asks softly, for only her to hear. ‘OK,’ she confirms, her voice muffled against his chest. ‘You?’ He nods in response, despite the aches shooting across his body. 14. ‘Let’s get you off this planet and to see Carson,’ he says instead, shifting so she can use him for support as they begin to shuffle back towards the gate, whilst still keeping his other side clear for his gun. She snorts quietly in response, even as her gaze rests on the uneven ground as she tries to stay on her feet. ‘Don’t think I haven’t noticed you should be in the infirmary yourself,’ she throws back. He groans, not from pain but from suddenly picturing Carson’s reaction on his return. 15. ‘Can we just pretend he cleared me for this mission?’ he asks pitifully, keeping her distracted whilst subtly trying to speed up their pace. He refuses to be caught out again by an ambush, and the faster they make it back to Atlantis, the faster she will be safe. ‘Nice try,’ she tells him as the gate looms ahead. ‘But maybe we can be in neighbouring beds – I’m sure he’d prefer you focus your boredom on ruining my concentration instead of his when you invariably get bored of your stay.’

16. They reach the gate just as Lorne dials for Atlantis. John keeps holding her upright as they travel through to Control, and all the way down to the infirmary, where they are separated only by Carson’s demanding hands (and furious words). And when he wakes up from his own hospital bed the next morning, Elizabeth’s face from the neighbouring bed is indeed the first thing he sees.

GAAAAAAHHHHHHH, so good. As always, SO GOOD. Thank you so much! I love it!

#sheppard/weir #sheppard/weir fic #ask box anon fic #sparky #and its 99 year lease on my soul #Anonymous

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sardonic-courtney · 4 years ago

Text

Crowley x Reader. We Met Before. P3/7

Summary: You end up living with Bobby after your parents die. You go to church and meet Priest Crowley and you end up getting along (if you know what i mean). A few years later when Bobby passes you move the the bunker with Sam and Dean and end up meeting Crowley again.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Warnings: Mention of loss, Spelling mistakes, you go to church?

Around 2500 words.

Let’s Get Coffee.

“Yay thank you” You yelled heading up the stairs to get changed…

Training went well, although you didn’t really do much. Bobby who was still reluctant helped you to shoot inanimate objects and some basic hand to hand combat with no weapons, because in his words “you won’t always have a weapon on you so that’s the best place to start.” You are pretty sure it’s just because he is buying time before the brothers come into town so they can deal with the more athletic training. Not because Bobby wasn’t good, he was but he was quite impatient and not the best Teacher.

Time Skip to the Next Saturday Night brought to you by Juliet.

The last week consisted of a few training lessons here and there, you were starting to get really good with a gun, and to Bobby’s ‘luck’ he did some blade training and you actually weren’t half bad. Right now, you were eating takeaway, 8pm, on the sofa with Bobby watching some old tv show.

“So kid, Winchesters are coming round tomorrow. Want me to pick you up from church to save you walking so you can see the two idjits sooner, I know you miss them”. He said emphasising miss in a teasing manor.

“Oh yeah soo much” You replied rolling your eyes. “But no, I’m good, I’m actually going out after for some coffee”.

“So, you and Lena finally meeting outside of church?”

“Nope”

“Wait so who are you meeting with then? A new boyfriend of yours? If so, I want to meet him first.”

“What? No, I’m not completely sure, just a group of us meeting up after church.”

“What do you mean you don’t know. Who asked you? That old woman that lives next to the church because if so, I wouldn’t go she will just talk everyone’s ear of about her cats”

“No, the Priest actually just to share ideas about the bible after.”

“Right well err have a good time?” He replied unsure

“Thanks Bobby I’m gonna head up now and sort everything out and go to bed”

“Don’t use up all my water, I’ll see you after your coffee, call me if you want a lift.”

“will do, night”

“Night kid.”

*Beep Beep* Your alarm read 8:30 Sunday. You go up and got showered and dressed. You opted for an outfit which made you look good but it was still simple and casual, whether you were trying a bit harder because you were seeing Crowley or because the boys were coming you wouldn’t say. You grabbed an easy snack and decided to take the scenic route as you had 30 minutes to get there and you didn’t want to wait around. You arrived exactly at 9:32 and waited a few minutes before walking in, no sign of Lena anywhere, strange. Your seats however remained empty, so you sat once again on the seconded row back. Just as you received a message.

Lena- Sorry my mums not feeling well so I’ve had to take my brother to football. Hope service is good.

(Y/N)- No problem, have fun at football.

You replied before muting your phone and sliding it away just as Crowley came out.

“Good Morning…………………………………Thank you all for coming. Bless you all and I shall see you next week.”

Looking up at the clock reading 10:30, everyone stood up and headed out the door, you however being unsure of where you were going for coffee waited at the end of the pew, letting other passed. You didn’t really focus on the topic at hand but hoped you could blag your way through the teachings of rich man and Lazarus. As everyone left Crowley once again was behind you smiling.

“(Y/N) how are you?”

“Hi, I’m good thank you, how are you doing?” you reply, once again you feel strangely flustered.

“Better now that’s over and we can go get coffee.”

“Oh yeah about that where are we meeting?”

“I was thinking the little café down 3 blocks over. Small and easy to find a table.”

“Mrs Wolowitz’s?”

“Yes, That’s it”

“I think I know the way; well you better go, and I’ll meet you guys there” You say about to head off.

“I’m sorry love, you must be mistaken I meant just the two of us. If that’s alright”

“Yeah no sorry that more the fine, I just assumed.” You stuttered out. You hadn’t meant to jump to a conclusion but that seemed more likely then just you two going out for coffee. Alone in a small café. Damn it (Y/N) stop thinking again.

“Do you want to follow me in my car? In case you get lost?”

“Oh um.” You awkwardly laughed. “I actually walk here so I’ll get it up on my phone”

“No, no don’t be stupid you’re going in my car.”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude”

“No come on let’s go.”

The car ride was short and pretty much silent but not awkward. You were nervous but also happy you weren’t going to be stuck with a bunch of old Christians arguing about meanings. Before you got out the car, he took his clerical collar of leaving him in a normal black shirt. You got out, got a table and ordered your drinks, and reluctantly allowed Crowley to pay.

“So, Y/N how did you find todays service?” Crowley asked looking straight at you for an answer.

“Oh um, it was good” you replied suddenly feeling nervous and unsure of how to answer. You were sat in a café, with an attractive Pastor whose stare seemed to go straight through you.

“Anything to add? Any views on the passage?” Crowley said seeming slightly distracted.

“Not really no. Sorry maybe you start an idea and I’ll add?”

“I don’t really have any either, well to be honest with you I would rather get to know you then your views on the bible.”

“Me?” you smiled, this just got better now it’s apparent you probably aren’t going to be sat discussing the bible over the next half hour or so.

“Yes you” he replied a small smile resting on his lips.

“Well what do you want to know?” you didn’t really know what sort of thing to tell him so thought it best to just ask.

“Well how about we play a game?”

“A game?”

“Yes, a game, you know an activity one engages in for fun?” his smile turning slightly into a smirk.

“Oh, thanks I didn’t know what a game was, what sort of game?”

“I ask a question and you ask one back?” he paused “if you would like, if you wanted to sit around and talk about bibles, we could ask biblical ones”

“No normal questions are fine; you can start since I don’t know what games are” you say sarcastically.

Just then the waiter came and delivered your drinks, nodding his head slightly at your companion before he left. You took a sip of your drink as Crowley moved on; this wasn’t what you though this evening would be but it’s definitely an improvement.

“If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?”

“(Y/A) {your answer}”

“Why?”

“It just seems perfect. I could see myself walking around and just admiring everything there you know?”

“Well hopefully one day you’ll go.” Crowley took a sip of his steaming drink and returned to looking at you. Really looking at you, it was weird, like he was genuinely interested in what you were saying. “I’ve been a few times and I must say the {landmark} is beautiful to visit.”

“One day I will see it, anyway you seem like you’ve been to loads of places where have you been?”

“Pretty much everywhere, I do enjoy travelling.”

“wow, I wish” you sigh out.

“Do you travel?”

“Not really, when I was younger me and my parents would move around America but that stopped a while ago.”

“Oh, how come?”

“They died so I moved in with my godfather and haven’t left town since, I know if he could we would go but he needs to stay here for work and everything and now I’m blabbing on again sorry.” You said it more as a fact mentally ready for the normal oh I’m sorry and what happened and are you okay to come.

“No don’t apologise I’m interested and I’m sorry to hear about them but your godfather sounds like a good man, and maybe one day you can travel again, maybe even the world, what do you plan on being in the future?”

“Definitely the plan, and I’m not sure yet. What about you have you always dreamed of being a pastor?”

“No, definitely not. I’m only a substitute pastor anyway if there’s such a thing.”

“what do you do then when you’re not?”

“I guess you could say I’m a businessman, I mainly make deals and such.”

“oh, is that why you always travel?” You say looking down at your drink and sipping.

“Exactly why my job requires a lot of popping to places. Now if you will humour me, I’m curious, you go to church but don’t seem completely religious, is that so?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t mean to offend you, but I notice you zoning out during teaching and you just seem… I don’t know how to put it.”

“Well if I’m honest I’m not sure about it really. The whole believing in God thing. I mean I’m sure he’s there, but I don’t think there’s much he can do.”

“So why go?”

“Well my mum used to always take me and well it makes me feel closer to her, I’m sorry if that offends you.”

“Not at all, not at all” he said a slight smirk on his face again.

This was weird, not in a bad way but weird. As the time passed, he started to become even less like a pastor and more like a friend. You continued sharing random stories finding out how he grew up in Scotland and all about his random like and dislikes. He was a nice guy and you no longer felt nervous. Time went by and you both ordered another drink. Now your cups were sitting empty and you were discussing what the best era would be to live through, when your phone beeps.

12:51

Bobby: Hey, hows the discussions going, what time do you think your going to leave I dont know if I can deal with them alone any longer and theyve only been here 3 hours as it is.

You: oh, sorry I didn’t realise the time, um ill finish my drink and leave soon. Tell them I say hi.

You slid your phone into you pocket and looked back up at Crowley. Wow you had been sat talking for over two hours.

“Everything okay?” he asked

“Yeah everything is fine just didn’t realise the time. Sorry I’m going to have to go in a minuet I have guests over and completely forgot.”

“No problem, would you like a lift back?”

“I can walk it’s fine.”

“Please at least let me drop you of at the church, I need to pick up some things there anyway.”

“Okay.”

With that the two of you got back into his car and arrived back at the church both getting out and standing in the completely deserted parking lot.

“Thank you for the lift, and the drinks.” You smiled checking you had everything and looking up at him.

“No problem I had a good time, and maybe if you would like I could get your number and we could do it again sometime, get to know each other a bit more, maybe over some food.”

If you didn’t know any better it would sound like a date offer, in fact part of you wishes it had been but pastors don’t date, do they?

“Yeah sounds good today was fun.” You grab your phone pulling up your number.

“I’m sorry that may not have been clear enough” he said looking at your phone and entering your number into his. “I was referring to going out on a date.”

“But you’re a priest?” you blurt out before thinking. Mentally slapping your head.

“A substitute priest love, and like you I don’t hold religion too close to my heart” he said chuckling and putting his phone away.

“Well in that case that sounds great. I better start heading back but text me.”

“I will, safe walk home, if you’re sure you don’t want a lift.”

“I’m sure, goodbye Crowley”

“Goodbye Y/N”

And with that you left. What just happened?

*Times Skip Home*

You walk through the door into the lounge greeted with the boys and bobby drinking beers and talking, coming to a halt when you walked in.

“Y/N, hey how have you been” Sam asks looking up at you smiling. Before you could answer Dean butted it.

“Y/N Bobby here tells us you’ve been out talking about the bible, please tell me you haven’t it’s like half one.”

“Nice to see you to Dean, and no I haven’t I met with a friend. I’m great thank you Sam, how are you?” you reply going to sit down before realising a pair of legs in the way. “Deans move your legs”

Reluctantly he swung them over the coffee table allowing you to sit down.

“Good thank you” you’re not sure if Sam would have continued but bobby spoke up.

“A friend? You said you were meeting with a group of you, lying, now are we?”

“what? No, I just got a bit confused we were going to talk about the service but we got distracted. But what’s more important is what you two have been up to.” You reply casually leaving out the fact you had spent the last two hours with a male and had half planned a date.

“No, what’s more important is you are 18. And we have something for you.” Sam said poking his head around Dean.

“Sammy’s right Dean said pulling something out his duffle bag. It was neatly wrapped and slightly battered around the edges. Sam definitely wrapped it.

“Guys you shouldn’t have.” You said unwrapping it. At first you saw a leather-bound book. It was bound with a rope wrapped around and decorated with a light house on the front.

“Open it up (Y/N/N)” Sam said.

Unwinding the rope, you opened it up to find postcards and pictures from the boys, all in Sam’s writing.

“We, well I thought you could have a journal to note down anything you want its always good to have one. The postcards and stuff are from each of the places me and Dean have been. We knew you wanted to go, and you always want to here stories so I thought it would be a good way to make it seem like you were there.”

“Sam it perfect thank you so much.” You stood up and hugged him before taking a seat back down noticing Dean had a scruffier package in his hand.

Accepting it and opening it Dean began.

“I’m not as thoughtful as Sam but I saw this, and thought would like it.”

It was a rope necklace with a stone on the end. Under the stone was a small piece of card with a handwritten message explaining the stones properties of protection and healing. You read it and put it on twiddling the stone in your fingers (You can change stone to your liking).

“It’s beautiful Dean thank you very much” you say leaning over to hug him.

“I’m glad” he says pulling back smiling.

The evening goes on, you order food and joke with each other, Bobby leaving to go to bed and the three of you falling asleep sprawled out on the couch and armchair around 11pm

Wow that was long and mainly build up, but don’t worry romance will be in the next one. I hope you enjoyed this though, thanks for reading.

#crowley #Crowley Supernatural #crowley x reader #crowley x you #crowley x y/n #y/n #supernatural #supernatural x reader #xreader

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count-yeti · 5 years ago

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Twenty seven years ago, a crazed alchemist created a new lifeform, the first homunculus created in over 500 years. The alchemist referred to the new lifeform simply as “Doll”, not giving it a proper name. Doll lived with this alchemist, named Xavier Ludwig St. James, for 10 years, until the mad alchemist accidentally killed himself in a lab explosion. Doll was left without anyone to care for him, and he knew no-one: his creator had never allowed Doll to meet anyone, besides his own master, who had died 5 years previously. Doll had no experience with emotions, feelings, deep thoughts, so when his creator died, he felt nothing more than annoyed that his source of food had disappeared. He’d never felt any sense of loyalty to his creator, viewing him only as a means of shelter and food.

A few months before this, a young mermaid in the Atlantic by the name of Umi lost both of her parents when their house collapsed. Umi had sneaked out of her house that night to watch the glow fish in the park at the edge of town, something her parents never let her do, so she was safe from the collapse. Though her parents had been strict, she still cared for them, and with them gone, she no longer had anyone to turn to. She had no friends, he only family had been her parents. What was she supposed to do?

While living on the streets, she overheard a conversation between two mermages, magic users. They were discussing a forbidden magical technique that would turn a merperson into a human. Umi had always been interested in the human world, watching human cartoons every chance she could, so when she heard those words, she immediately continued listening, learning the technique.

She went to the shore, drew a sign in the sand where the water met the land, and placed seashells in each of the cardinal directions, chanting a quick incantation. When next the waves came up the beach, erasing the sign in the sand she had made, she suddenly felt a sharp, burning pain in her tail. She writhed in pain on the beach as the sun rose on a new day. For some reason, no matter how loudly she tried to scream, no sound came out.

After what felt like a week, the pain subsided, and she laid in the sand, letting the sea lap over her. Without realising it, she fell asleep there. She was awakened several hours later when a child was walking along the beach, alone. He wore plain, dirty clothing, much like Umi herself wore.

“Oh, hello,” the young boy said, uninterested, looking down at her. “Why haven’t you got any pants on?”

Umi became embarrassed, and quickly curled up, covering he legs with her arms. She tried to speak, but no matter how hard she tried, no words came out. Why couldn’t she speak?

“Well, whatever. You mind moving over a little? You’re in my spot” the boy said with the same uninterested tone, sitting beside Umi after she had obliged, watching the surf.

Again, Umi tried to speak, and again no words came out. What was happening? Maybe I lost my voice after screaming in pain after the ritual, she thought to herself. No, wait, she thought, I wasn’t able to scream.

“You don’t have to try to force yourself to speak. I can clearly see you aren’t capable,” the young boy stated, matter-of-factly, as if observing that the sky or sea were blue.

What was with this boy? She thought. He acts so mature, but it doesn’t feel fake like it did when she saw kids acting mature on TV. It’s like he’s an adult in a child’s body, she said to herself. She tried to laugh at her thoughts, but found the she couldn’t even laugh. This revelation made her even more depressed than she was already feeling, and she uncurled herself from the fetal position she was in, laying flat on her back once more.

“Are you alright?” the boy asked her, still maintaining his unaffected tone, as if his asking were merely a formality.

Umi shook her head as best she could while laying in the sand and surf, feeling the sand getting all over her hair. She didn’t care, though, she didn’t care about anything anymore, really.

“Come with me,” the boy said in his emotionless voice, getting up and extending a hand down to Umi.

Umi waited a moment, confused. She then remembered she wasn’t wearing any pants, and became embarrassed again, curling up into a ball for a second time, hiding her naked lower half. She looked up at the boy, her face red, but he still had a blank expression, as if he didn’t care that she was half naked. What a weirdo, she thought. Weirdo though he was, she felt comfortable around him. She accepted his hand, and he carefully helped her stand.

This turned out to be a mistake, as almost immediately she fell back to the ground. She’d never walked before, after all. She’d been born a mermaid, and lived as a mermaid for 12 years. Legs were so weird.

“Hmm,” the boy said, finally showing an emotion: curiosity.

Umi looked up at him, feeling even more embarrassed than she had when she realised she was half naked. This boy had not only seen her without pants, he’d seen her fall so ungracefully, too!

“Here,” the boy said, taking off the thin jacket he was wearing and wrapping it around Umi’s waist after helping her up once more.

For some reason, him getting so close to her made her feel even more embarrassed, and she pushed him away, but not before he had finished wrapping his jacket around her waist, covering her bare legs, at least to some extent.

Unfortunately, he had been her support, and after she pushed him away, she once more fell to the ground. This time, she started feeling overwhelmed, and started to cry. Though no noise came from her throat, she could feel the hot tears streaming down her face. Crying felt so different on dry land…

The boy crouched, putting his hand gently on Umi’s head. Umi looked up at him, and though he still showed no emotion, she was starting to understand that he was kind. For some reason, seeing his expressionless face while she sat there in the sand getting wet from the surf and the tears streaming down her face, she started to laugh. Only, she still couldn’t make any sound.

“That’s good,” the boy tried to smile, but he couldn’t, as he’d never genuinely smiled in his ten years of existence.

Seeing his attempt at a smile only caused Umi to laugh even harder, and she realised she’d forgotten why she had been crying in the first place.

Once more, she tried to stand with the boy’s help, but unlike her previous attempts, this time she managed to stay standing. The boy crouched, and gestured for her to climb on his back. Umi didn’t understand, but she obliged, and the boy stood up straight once more with Umi on his back, giving her a piggy back ride.

“By the way, you can call me Doll. My creator never gave me a name, but he always called me Doll. I don’t have anyone to name me, so I guess I’m stuck with such a silly name,” the boy sighed, showing another brief emotion, as he effortlessly carried Umi up the beach.

Umi still couldn’t speak, so she just thumped Doll on the shoulder twice, letting him know that she’d understood.

Doll carried Umi for several miles, before finally reaching a nicely-sized house in a clearing in the woods. It reminded Umi of something out of an old horror movie, but it didn’t scare her. It actually felt kind of sad to her. It looked like the place wasn’t well-looked after, where it had been until just recently.

“Pardon the overgrowth,” Doll said to Umi, as if reading her mind. “My creator recently died, and now there is no one to take care of this place.”

Umi listened to him, noticing that though he was speaking of death, he still showed no emotion. What was with this boy, Doll? He was so strange, but being with him made her happy for some reason.

Inside was just like Umi was imagining it would be: dark, kind of dank, and straight out of an old horror movie, though just like the outside, it felt more sad than scary. Doll carried her a short way before setting her on a sofa in the living room.

“Wait here, I’ll get you some crutches or a cane to help you walk,” Doll said, leaving Umi sitting on the couch.

She looked about the room, noticing that it looked much like the typical living rooms from the mid century that she saw on reruns of old TV shows. The only modern looking thing in the room was the flat screen TV that sat opposite the sofa, hanging above a fireplace. The screen was covered in dust, as was most everything else in the living room.

Doll returned a few moments later with a pair of crutches. He helped Umi stand, and adjusted them to her meagre height. After he let go, she almost fell backwards onto the sofa, but using the crutches she managed to keep herself upright.

“Alright, now you don’t need to rely solely on me to get around, but I’ll try and be nearby at all times until you get the hang of walking,” Doll said simply.

Umi tried to thank him, but still no words would come, so she simply nodded her head in thanks.

Doll disappeared again, returning momentarily carrying a pair of shorts in his hands. He handed them to Umi, and stood, waiting. Umi looked at him with embarrassment, hoping he would understand that she felt uncomfortable changing in front of him, but he didn’t seem to get it, so she silently sighed and took off his jacket that had been around her waist and put on the shorts, which seemed to fit her quite well.

“I’m glad they fit,” Doll said, trying and failing to smile again.

Umi nodded her head in thanks again.

“Are you hungry?” Doll asked her out of no where.

Umi nodded, telling him she was.

“Alright, I’ll be right back,” Doll responded, leaving the living room.

He was gone for nearly 45 minutes, and Umi was getting really worried, but she didn’t feel there was anything she could do, as she still wasn’t confident enough to walk. Just as she was about to throw caution to the wind and leave to find him anyway, the front door opened, and Doll was standing there, a fishing rod in one hand and a bucket full of several fish in the other. She hobbled over to him quickly, and looked at him with big eyes, feeling a massive sense of relief that he’d come back.

“Sorry I was gone so long, it took a while for them to start biting. I hope you like fish,” he said, setting the rod next to the front door in the umbrella stand and bringing the fish into the kitchen.

Another 45 minutes passed, and Doll walked into the living room, carrying two large plates piled high with fish, and returned to the kitchen, coming back with two large bowls of rice. This boy must have a huge stomach, Umi thought, awing at the quantity of food he’d brought out.

Umi looked at Doll expectantly, and he sat beside her on the sofa, grabbing two dinner trays from behind the seat and placing them in front of Umi and himself, setting the plates and bowls on top of them. With that done, Doll began to eat.

Umi now looked at Doll for a different reason, and it took him a moment to notice, but when he turned to look at her, she tilted her head in the direction of the TV, wondering if she could turn it on.

“Oh, sure, here’s the remote,” Doll said, distractedly digging around for the remote in the armrest before handing it to her.

She spent a few minutes flipping through the channels, gawking at the sheer volume of choices to pick from. Back home, there were only a few dozen channels, which didn’t come close to the hundreds she could choose from here on land.

“Not used to all the choices?” Doll asked between massive forkfuls of food, reading her mind.

She nodded her head, before realising she hadn’t touched her food, and hurriedly digging in.

“Don’t eat too quickly,” Doll instructed, not realising that he had no right to talk on the matter of eating too quickly.

Umi simply looked at him with a quizzical look.

“What?” Doll asked, his fork still in his mouth.

She shook her head in response and returned to her meal. It’d been a while since she’d eaten real food, especially with somebody else, having lived mostly on scraps after her parents died, leaving her alone.

Doll noticed the look on her face as she recalled her loneliness, and tried again to smile at her. He failed, and Umi started laughing again, briefly forgetting her pain.

“That was not the intended reaction,” Doll said demurely, taking another mouthful of food.

Umi smiled at him, and went back to eating her meal. The two of them spent the rest of their meal in silence, the only sound being the TV and their forks clinking against their plates.

After they Umi finished her dinner – Doll finished a good 5 minutes before she did – Doll collected their plates and brought them to the kitchen, cleaning them. He came back to the living room carrying a small tray of cookies and a pitcher full of milk.

“Do you like cookies?” Doll ask, setting the tray and pitcher on the coffee table.

Umi just stared at him dully, not being able to answer. She’d only seen cookies while watching TV, she’d never had cookies herself.

“Hmm,” Doll intoned, looking at Umi with an emotion he’d shown earlier when they’d first met: curiosity.

She became self conscious of his eyes on her, and turned her gaze to the cookies on the table. She couldn’t stop thinking about the intensity of his stare, but she also couldn’t stop wondering what cookies tasted like. Umi started to laugh again, amused by the simplicity of the thought of cookies. She’d spent several months living on the streets after her parents died, she never thought she’d have dessert again, or be able to laugh – though she wasn’t sure she could call it laughing since no sound was coming out.

“Here you go. I only gave you one for now, since it seems like you’ve never had cookies before,” Doll said with his usual tone of voice, setting a small plate with a single cookie and a glass of milk in front of Umi.

Umi slowly started eating the cookie, following Doll’s lead as he dunked his own cookie into his glass of milk before eating it. She stuck the cookie, now wet with milk, in her mouth, and savoured the taste. She’d never had anything like it! In her hometown, the food was generally rather plain, even the desserts, so she’d never really grown up with sweets. Still, the taste of the cookie reminded her of home, of her parents. She wished she could have shared the cookies with them, but now she would never see them again.

“Are you alright?” Doll asked her while staring intently at her face after he had finished his own cookies.

She wasn’t sure what he meant. Why was he asking if she was alright? Then, she felt the tears streaming down her face. How had she not noticed the tears? She couldn’t stop them…

Doll got up from the sofa and left the room briefly, returning with a handkerchief, and taking his seat once more, dabbing softly at Umi’s face as she cried. She couldn’t stop crying, thinking about her parents. She grabbed Doll’s hand as he went to dry her eyes again, and pulled him close, wrapping him in a big hug as she continued to cry. Doll, intrigued by her emotions, simply allowed her to hold him.

After she finished crying some 10 minutes later, she sat awkwardly on the sofa while Doll brought their plates and glasses from the cookies to the kitchen. She’d clung to him for 10 whole minutes! What was he going to say when he came back? Surely he felt like she was weird, she had suddenly started crying and then wrapped him in a huge hug without letting go.

“Are you better now?” Doll said softly, showing an emotion she hadn’t thought him capable of before: concern.

For his part, Doll was confused by the tone of his voice, too. Why had it come out that way? He couldn’t tell, and that confused him further. Umi looked at him, trying to seem like she wasn’t staring when she was, and saw that he was confused, too. She started blushing and nodded her head in answer to his question.

“That’s good,” Doll said, sounding somewhat distracted.

He returned to his seat on the sofa, folding up the dinner trays and putting them back behind the couch. After that, he silently sat and watched the TV, not seeming very interested in what was on.

“Can you write?” Doll asked suddenly some minutes later, surprising Umi and making her jump a little.

Umi shook her head; she could speak and understand spoken English as her parents had taught her, and many of the shows she watched were in English, but she’d never learned to write the language.

“Hmm,” Doll hummed. “Do you want me to teach you how?”

She nodded her head. She wasn’t sure how long she’d be unable to speak for, so it would be useful to be able to communicate some other way besides gestures.

“I’ll be right back,” Doll said as he got up and left the room once more.

He returned 10 or so minutes later, carrying some books and a small dry erase board and marker. He stood in the doorway briefly, looking around the living room, before turning around and leaving again. A minute later, he came back into the living room empty handed.

“Come on, we can study in the study where we’ll have more work space,” he said to Umi, offering her his hand to help her up.

Umi slowly hobbled behind Doll on her crutches. He was going as slow as he could so she could keep up, but he didn’t seem too bothered by his need to accommodate her slow pace. In fact, he didn’t seem to be bothered by Umi at all, even though she couldn’t speak, couldn’t walk, and kept breaking down into tears.

“Alright, you can sit here, across from me,” Doll said after they’d reached the study, which was on the other side of the house from the living room.

Together, they spent the rest of the day until the sunset studying. Doll would occasionally leave the room and return with snacks for the two of them, and they’d continue working as they ate. Umi worked hard, and by the end of the day she had at least gotten most of the alphabet down.

“Good work,” Doll said simply, patting her on the head for some reason. “I saw that on TV, apparently it’s a way of rewarding someone after a day of studying.”

Umi blushed and cast her eyes downward. Doll was really weird, but she liked being with him, and was really grateful towards him for helping her study.

“Oh, that’s right – do you have a place to stay?” Doll asked her, turning around in the doorway as he was leaving.

She shook her head.

“Alright, you can stay here from now on, then. I’ll show you around,” he said, going back to her and helping her get up from the chair she’d been sitting in.

She almost fell over as she tried to stand, not used to sitting for so long, but Doll caught her before she could land on her but like she had in the morning, when they’d first met. She blushed and rested her crutches under her arms, and followed behind Doll as he walked slowly out of the room.

He showed her around the house that had once belong to his creator, but was now his. The kitchen, the dining room, the many bedrooms and bathrooms. At the end, he showed her to a bedroom that was bigger than the others, and looked more well maintained.

“This will be your room. It’s the main guest room, so we always kept it cleaner than the other rooms. It also happens to be right next to my own room. If you need anything, just knock on this wall,” Doll said, speaking more words in one go than Umi’d heard him speak since they’d met.

Umi nodded her head and sat on the soft bed. She’d never slept in a bed before: mermaids didn’t sleep in the traditional sense, instead families had communal rooms that they would share and rest in together, simply sort of floating in the water in a state of half consciousness, semi-aware to their surroundings. Though, after her parents died and her home was destroyed, she instead generally slept in a patch of kelp in the park.

Doll noticed the reticence that showed on her face, and walked over to the other side of the bed and got into it.

“You’re not from the world of humanity, are you?” Doll asked her, looking down towards her from his spot in the bed.

She didn’t know how to respond, and started feeling frantic. She looked at his face, and she calmed down. Something told her that she could answer truthfully, and that he wouldn’t say anything bad. She nodded her head slowly.

“Hmm. Are you a mermaid?” he asked, using the same tone of voice one uses to ask what time it was.

Umi once again felt frantic. How had he figured it out? Could he read her mind, or something? Again, she looked at his face, and calmed down. He seemed to have such a calming effect on her, how weird. He was just a weird guy in general… She nodded her head, telling him she was a mermaid.

“I see,” he said, putting his hand under his chin in thought. “I believe my master had a mermaid-turned-human friend, though I never met him.”

She looked at him with a burning gaze, questions all over her face. Before she could ask any questions, however, she realised that Doll had fallen asleep. Wasn’t this supposed to be her bed? She shook his shoulders, but he didn’t wake up. She shook him again, this time successfully waking him.

“Huh? My apologise, I didn’t mean to fall asleep so suddenly,” he said, showing the emotion of regret.

Umi shook her head, saying she didn’t mind.

“Right, this is your bed,” Doll said, slowly getting himself out from under the covers and standing up. “I’m going to go look through my creator’s books to try and find his notes on his mermaid friend. Maybe I’ll find something that will help you; in the meantime, go ahead and get some sleep.”

With that, he left the room, closing her door behind him. Umi didn’t know what to do. She’d seen people going to bed on TV before, and Doll had just demonstrated it to her himself, but she’d never slept in the human sense. How did one get to sleep? Doll had done it so naturally himself just now, but Umi wasn’t sure how to. Maybe it wasn’t too different from what she was used to? With that final thought in her head, she cautiously got under the covers and laid her head on the pillows.

Not long after, she fell asleep.

#i made some changes

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