#like lol. I have no agency to choose to do things I want to do because my parents foot all my bills and unfortunately

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

how the HECK do I explain to my parents that I do not want bass guitar lessons from my dad, I want to teach myself from the books and videos that I have. I will literally throw away every plan I have to learn this instrument if I have to learn this way I'm not even kidding. this is why I quit guitar after two months my freshman year of high school.

[bigskydreaming]

Y’know, I’ve posted before about how important it can be to survivors to be in charge of determining when they disclose what happened to them and to whom in what ways…..and thus how the trend of Dick’s ‘secret’ (what happened with Tarantula or Mirage or both) being found out by his family or friends despite his wishes or even his active efforts to keep it secret, and he’s forced to confront it and deal with all of them knowing before he’s ready and made any kind of peace with it himself, and this is often framed as being what’s best for him and its better now that everything’s out in the open and its like….no, that’s not how it works, you can’t FORCE people to recover on YOUR time table, and it happening in a way that gives them no agency or control over it is often a SETBACK instead of like….to their benefit, because while at its heart, disclosure is a relatively simple action, it can be hugely empowering to survivors because its the first time they’re able to definitively take what happened to them and DECIDE what happens next, to take back some of the CONTROL that was ripped away from them by the event and sent their life into a tailspin ever since…..

Ahem. Anyway. Like I said, y’know how I’ve posted before about….all of…well, that?

LOL.

Yeah, so anyway, I’ve been thinking lately about an ideal ‘counter-trend’ that I think could add so much to the view of these parts of Dick’s narrative and character and to discussions about them….and it also IMO is one of the most likely and in character ways that Dick WOULD be likely to disclose what happened to him and make it known to family or friends…..WHILE letting him retain full personal agency over making that choice HIMSELF, for his OWN reasons….

And that’s like…..letting them all find out because Dick makes the personal decision to open up about that to a survivor or recent victim he sees struggling in the aftermath of their own assault. 

Exposing his own vulnerabiltiies and hurt in order to HELP someone, to make something from his own pain, which is one of the key ways IMO that Dick tends to his own trauma and recovery…..using what happened to him as an opportunity to better help others, be there for them, connect with them and give them an easier time of it or more tools to help in their own recovery than he’d had himself. When he’s able to say and do the things a victim really needs to hear right then and there, because he’s been there himself and he’s just saying or doing what he wishes someone had said or done for him but hadn’t known at the time he needed or wanted or even had someone available to ask even if he were able to.

I’d love to read about a Dick Grayson who finds the strength and will to open up about his own secrets and traumas even if it means people close to him finding out and maybe pitying him (which he hates and I think is one of the primary reasons he doesn’t tell people when something bad happens to him oif he can help it) - specifically because its the strength someone needs from him in that moment, and Dick’s personal call to heroism is the need, the drive, to be what someone needs in order to save them if its at all within his capabilities. That’s why he’s a hero IMO: he doesn’t know how to NOT intervene in a situation where he knows his unique talents and skills could help protect or defend someone, save them from pain or loss or dying. He doesn’t WANT to know how.

Gimme a Dick Grayson who swallows down his fears, straightens his shoulders and defiantly tells his primal reptile brain “Fuck his secrets” - he couldn’t save this person from having this thing happen to them, but he can still be a kind of hero to them, for them, by CONNECTING with them, revealing that even he, a bonafide SUPERHERO, can and has been hurt that way, and it sucks and its painful and it wakes him up sometimes in the middle of the night, but he’s still here, he’s still the person HE chooses to be, someone who still laughs and cries and has friends and goals and dreams and bad days but good days as well….show me him being their own personal superhero by cutting straight through the shit their own demons try to convince them of - that this is their fault or they deserved this or it wouldn’t have happened if they were stronger, smarter, BETTER - because when freaking Nightwing, son of the Batman and leader of the Titans and someone superheroes the world over speak of in glowing terms….

When THAT guy looks you straight in the eye and tells you none of that is true, that he knows this because it happened to him too, and it had nothing to do with strength or weakness or deserving it or wanting it……its a HELL of a lot easier to believe coming from him. To internalize. To take in and make a mantra in your head that you can summon forth to remind yourself of whenever doubts start to sneak up on you again.

Sorry not sorry, no disrespect to any specific singular fic out there - I've LITERALLY written one myself (even if a big part of why Born Under A Bad Sign has languished so long is because I realized it wasn't really what I was looking for/to explore for a lot of these very reasons, and in hindsight I felt like I had just gotten caught up in the usual trends of fics about this topic instead of writing from a start point of exploring what I most wanted to see or read about as a survivor) so please don't take this as a slight to anyone who's written something like this. I'd be insulting myself too if that were the case.

But as a TREND, I've really grown to dislike that there's no shortage of stories where Dick's most vulnerable moments and secrets are dragged out of him DESPITE being the last thing he wants at that time, when there's a dearth of fics used to explore...when and how might Dick go about sharing these secrets or opening up about these moments because he WANTS to, because HE feels ready to. Or even exploring what happens or what he goes through if he opens up or shares about these things BEFORE he's actually ready to, because in an attempt to repurpose his trauma into something he feels can help another survivor, he ignored what he was actually feeling about whether he was ready or not to be open about this and have it known by more people.

Just....any and all angles where HE makes the choice, and not just because he HAS to, and even if he later regrets it or it brings up stuff he wasn't as prepared to deal with as he'd convinced himself he was in the moment....there's so many more avenues to be explored here, and I feel like without even thinking about it too much, most of these avenues get shut off as possibilities or turned away from because the sheer volume of fics where other people find out about these moments without Dick's direct disclosure or when he doesn't want them to or isn't ready for them to know, like....this particular direction is so everpresent it narrows focus and creates the kind of tunnel-vision effect we're all familiar with when it comes to all sorts of fandom trends, until it subconsciously feels like its THE only direction to take with all this.

Anyway. Just wanted to raise that discussion point and if anyone knows of any fics that ARE out there like this, feel free to send them my way.

[malaierba]

Thoughts on Toshiro’s eating behavior, restrictive ed/disordered eating habits, and ARFID (obvious warnings apply).

Been thinking about how Toshiro’s eating is described in the manga. Especially when you consider the context within which he snaps — which is jokingly referred to as “he has hangry”. Interestingly enough, emotional deregulation IS a common symptom of EDs. That, alongside all the symptoms that Ryoko Koi chooses to illustrate in him… it’s done too accurately for it to be dismissed as him simply choosing not to eat and starve, as if it were that easy.

Basically, I think Toshiro’s inability to eat is ARFID-coded, and that’s symbolism in itself. I also think food is one of the few areas in his life where he exerts control effectively.

Assuming that he was under the influence of the dungeon (not necessary for this analysis to work tbh), his behavior is a quite accurate depiction of how desire works for people who are chronic ascetics in general, and ED'd in particular:

According to Maizuru, he’s a person who's denied themselves all their life (“saving Falyn was his first selfish request“),

Who seems to only experience a sort of self-agency when it's linked to deprivation (not really eating food from anyone who wasn’t Maizuru as a child, turning down her food as an adult even though he’s otherwise easy to pull around),

Who's actively reaching towards something for the first time in their lives (so he doesn’t know how to work towards it without burning himself out).

A common trigger (perhaps the main one) in EDs is the desire for control. The logic often goes, what's easier to control than what you eat? what do you own more fully than your body? It tracks in Toshiro’s case: when he is picky that's one thing he can fully control, no one could force him to eat not when he was a child nor as an adult. Toshiro's “whims” are most indulged when he restricts or rejects food, rather than when he reaches for it.

The reason why I’m getting ARFID vibes from him is Maizuru’s wording. On the screenshot I shared, she said “he never ate much, but he ate plenty of what I made”, making it sound like he’d try stuff made by other people, but in the end, Maizuru was the only one who could tailor it to his tastes the best (and made it with love). Rather than fighting him or forcing him, he worked with him, which is the best course of action for parents with kids who are being picky eaters.

There’s also the wording used by Maizuru: I think he's ARFID and perhaps ortho coded, or some other restrictive ED. Here we have to note that EDs aren't exclusively or even always about weight, weight is often a secondary effect of the behaviors that are motivated by the ED. In layman terms, they're eating disorders not weight disorders.

With the established, I do see a narrative relevance to giving Toshiro this type of relationship with food:

It sets him in obvious opposition to Laios: You need to eat and take care of yourself to succeed, neglecting yourself equals not taking your goals seriously vs. I’ll sacrifice everything recklessly, myself included, in the pursuit of my goals.

Tangentially related but lol, can’t help but think of Laios getting SO mad when Toshiro’s reaction to his plan (admittedly thought of on the spot) to get back Falyn is “you aren’t even EATING” which, SO fair, you can strategize and make detailed long term plans all you want, but as they say the secret to your future lies within your daily habits.

It makes him a mirror of Falyn, her passiveness reflecting Toshiro’s own. Falyn explicitly says at the end of her adventure, while she’s turning down Toshiro’s marriage proposal, “I’ve always wanted to travel; I’ve always just done what my bother and Marcille want, I want to try doing what I want now”, which is reminiscent of Maizuru saying “He was always such a well-behaved, reasonable boy, so much so that it worried me sometimes. The only time he ever made a personal request was for this task” <- person disconnected from their desires. (More on this idea here, I love it as a narrative choice).

And then (here’s where I get suppositional). It could be an extrapolation of the way his upbringing has permeated so deep within himself that he overtly controls what he eats even under normal circumstances. This extreme exertion of self-control, this constant self-monitoring, would be unsurprising in the guy who’s a little too good at following social scripts and masking (fun fact, did you know that ARFID is often co-morbid with autism?).

I often think of him in this scene, where he seems to be telling Senshi that he’s had enough / he doesn’t want something (featuring the other Weird With Food character, my beloved Kabru, maybe trying to help him? or maybe hassling him too lol):

Looks like some habits are hard to break. But, Laios does get through to him when he kicks his ass, and Falyn seems to have reached him too with his words, so perhaps there’s hope.

Look at him forcing himself to eat a burger while holding so much distaste in his heart. Did he and Laios order for each other? At least Laios seems to like his meal.

[fernsnailz]

Not sure how much meat this question has to it but if back in 2006 you were the one that spearheaded the shadow the hedgehog game, how would you have done it?

i'd want ShTH 2005 to keep the same core energy its final form ended up with, but tbh there's a lot i would have done differently lol. here's my 3 step plan for how i would have directed it previously/would direct any sort of reboot or remaster

1. TIMELOOP!!!!!!

i'm not the first person to come up with this idea and i won't be the last to talk about it, but the gist of this point is that ShTH's story makes WAY more sense when you treat it like a timeloop. you finished a story path and end up back in westopolis? great job, you're at the beginning of the timeloop again. it's a smart way to make this wack story a little more cohesive.

i would LOVE to further utilize the timeloop concept for this game because it could be a very simple addition to add flavor OR it be the core of the game's story and gameplay. small things like shadow going "hey wait, have i seen this before?" when he's going through westopolis for the third time can hint at the narrative, and once shadow realizes he's in a loop he's motivated to find EVERY path in search of the full truth. every new story path could be treated as a new game+ as shadow starts to consistently remember more from previous timeloops, carrying over certain weapons, abilities, and memories from his previous experiences.

one really cool idea i saw a while ago on here (edit: FOUND IT! i'm talking about this post) is someone's ShTH timeloop pitch where after a few resets, silver starts to show up and tells shadow to stop messing with the timeline. this continues, and eventually silver becomes a final boss of some of the paths. this idea has never left my mind since i saw it and i need to find the person that came up with it they mean so much to me

i have more timeloop thoughts but i will move on for now

2. simplify or rework the morality system and levels

this is my big gameplay critique - there is A Lot to do in ShTH and very little of it is consistently fun. i have grievances with the morality system i talked about a while ago, the gist of my opinion boiling down to "the system removes agency from shadow and the story doesn't fit within the morals you choose anyway." i'd either MASSIVELY rework the morality system to make it feel worthwhile or just throw the whole thing away. unfortunately i don't have many pitches for what to replace it with since i haven't played that many games with branching stories - maybe the story paths you go down are based on BIG story decisions shadow makes during boss battles or in cutscenes (?) like choosing which boss to fight, which characters to save, what moves or weapons to use, stuff like that. i just want the stuff that leads to branching stories to be more impactful and a little simpler.

this also applies to the levels, of which there are... a lot. and maybe there should be less? i think it would be smart to cut down or combine some of the levels, then really flesh out the ones that matter. and given the non-linear nature of ShTH, i think a version with levels more focused on exploration and combat would fit the game better than the linear mission-based gameplay of the original.

3. MORE GUN

listen man. they advertised this as the sonic game with guns and in my opinion i think they could've done better. i mostly just want a more fleshed out weapons system with upgrades, a little customization, better controls, etc. just put the merchant from resident evil 4 in there and have him accept rings and i would be happy

-------------------------

those are the big points i would personally stick to, but i do have smaller points i would consider as well, including:

make black doom seem competent

explain who the chaotix are working for and fit it into the story

no more "kill this many enemies to progress" missions. please

super shadow can have a gun now

[germiyahu]

The way the Brainrot Left brays and hoots and hollers about 10/7 in my mind is more evidence they don't see Palestinians as complex human actors in a conflict, just as trauma tokens or vague forces of nature. If you grab these Lefties by the ear and ask them to acknowledge 10/7 as an atrocity, as a traumatizing episode in the millennia story of antisemitism, they'll do one of a few things:

Deny it even happened. Which is absurd on the face of it. These people were cheering when they thought Hamas stood even a chance of winning. But after the public backlash and the impending retaliation, suddenly these brave freedom fighters couldn't be bothered to show up for battle? So why praise "resistance" against Israeli colonization while denying that Israel is retaliating against something? 10/7 took years to plan and it took a lot of smart motivated people to pull it off. Hamas are not stupid and they're not disorganized. You're doing a disservice to the alleged antifascist anticolonial group you love so much.

Claim it was a psyop. Again, kind of does a disservice to your brave freedom blorbos if you think Israel planned it all, and worse, that they duped Palestinians into playing right into their plan. So you basically think Hamas are completely incapable of doing anything, and you think "this is what the revolution looks like!" is the occupying Apartheid regime staging the revolution for cameras? This is just "how does Hamas have color printers lol fake news!" again.

Say "this started before 10/7 zioscum!" And this is more subtle, but these "well what did you expect to happen" and "when nonviolent resistance fails, the People only have one choice!" takes are equally condescending and dismissive. Hamas are not automata, they are not brainless organisms reacting to stimuli. When Israel acts, they decide to react. When Israel does not act, they are actively planning ways in which they themselves can act because they have declared an unending war on the state of Israel. No matter how long a truce lasts they will always want to break it. Because that's the philosophy they ascribe to. That's the politique they have chosen. Acting like anything in the Israel-Palestine conflict is a natural inevitable instance of the law of cause and effect is to strip the agency of the actors involved.

Hamas, and the Palestinians they "lead," are not pawns, they're not objects. They're people. Civilians participated in 10/7, some civilians volunteered to hold hostages for Hamas. Civilians choose to abide by Israel's warnings and flee to Rafah. Hamas tries to stop them and steals their aid. Hamas planned and executed 10/7 despite the two sides being at peace and there being no noticeable worsening societal stress in Gaza. Hamas and their allies launched unprecedented rocket barrages at Israel with the intent of maximizing civilian damage and terror. You notice all those verbs? That have human active agents as their subjects?

Palestinians and Israelis are doing things to each other. The passive voice language serves to obscure this fact. And these people have motivated reasons for doing those things. Those reasons can be complex and inscrutable and go back decades, centuries. They can even feel inevitable or natural. But everything going on is a choice or a decision made by someone, and executed by people who willingly follow that someone. We've seen Palestinians and Israelis stand against those powerful people. Israelis are protesting and going to jail. Palestinians are demonstrating against the fascist regime that's had its boot on their necks for almost 20 years.

I don't like the passive voice trick being used when Israel does something either, but the battalions of the Tumblrina Red Army have a bad habit of doing something even more annoying. They don't report on things as "rockets were launched into Israel," they deny anything is done to Israel. If they can't do that, they claim it's propaganda, they invent or hyperfocus on what they consider an equivalent Israeli action against Hamas and say "they started it!" Anything Hamas does or has done or could do to Israel, in their minds, is a natural inevitable perfectly just and rational and good reaction to something Israel did. What did you expect to happen? Um this doesn't matter because Israel did something worse see!

Hamas' actions are meaningless, without motivation, without underlying philosophy, without any kind of actionable goal. Why should they care about Hamas' charter? Why should they care about the origin of "from the river to the sea"? The why of Hamas or any Palestinian resistance doing anything doesn't matter to them. They only care that these groups are fighting so they can write their own values and ideals onto them. That's why in their minds the Gaza War is the biggest thing going on in the world, and the biggest thing in decades. That's why they see this as such an existential battle against capitalism and American hegemony, and why they think they even have a stake in land disputes in the Middle East at all.

I hope you can see how this is utterly dehumanizing language wrapped up in the pretext of support. Hamas fighters are not lines of computer code who act without thought. Aggression against Israel is not some divine natural punishment from the social justice gods. We'll never get anywhere so long as people refuse to see Palestinian militant groups as people with agency. Is it a wonder the Tumblr Left seems incapable of condemning them when they do something genuinely immoral? They think Hamas are amoral, because they truly don't see them as humans.

[levilaughlove]

❝𝐒𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩❞

w;c : 1k+ (fuuccc)

warning: bottom!m!reader || toxic reader? || levi being butthurt || monster fucking || nsfw || minors dni || male bod reader || reader is a slut || oops, made him cry || Modern AU || heavy lemon - I gave Levi a height boost. He is 8 inches taller than reader. ily lol || x Erwin??? brat taming??

You are a very attractive man. Like, get anyone you wanted type of a man. You had an attractive body and a haircut/style that just fit you so well.

You also are very observant. You work at a high class modeling agency and you are one of the world's top paid male models. You are first and someone you work with often is 2nd.

"Good-morning Levi." You said with a smile. "Good-morning, M/n." Levi said avoiding your gaze, tips of his ears red. Noticing this you smirk to yourself.

"Um, Pat needs emergency green screen photo's from you so you should go see him." Levi mentioned still looking away. "Alright talk soon." You said flirty under the cut and walked away. You heard Levi sigh relieved just before the voices in the room slowly faded.

"Pat. You needed me?" You ask, peeking your head into the equipment room. "Yes! I did, we are lacking in photos from you heavily and the people...as bad as it sounds.. aren't that interested in seeing the other models as much as you.

That high-key gave you a power boost but you wouldn't say that out loud. "So, we've prepared some quick outfits from Prada and Balenciaga. Try em' all on. We got work to do." Pat says enthusiastically. You sigh. It's gonna be a long day.

Many hours later, you're finally finished with you photo-shoot and you're heading out to the indoor parking lot. "M/n!" A woman's voice echos through the lot. You turn to see a blonde woman with blue eyes. "Krista!" You smile. "Hey hey! How are you?---Scratch that there is bigger things to talk about." Krista says joyfull. "Well, get to it." You say impatient. "Erwin is hosting a colleague party for the huge skyrocket in revenue. You're our top paid model. You HAVE to be there!" She smiled widely, clearly excited. "I mean how could I say no?" You smile slightly.

"When is it held?" "Tomorrow night at 11:00pm." "Alright, i'll definitely be there." "See you."

The night ended on a good note. You had takeout for dinner, had a h or c shower then went to bed. The next day wasn't very eventful, you went to a couple fashion shows like normal, then shopped online most of the day.

Soon came Erwin's revenue party, you had a very eye catching outfit. (you can choose) You took an uber as you planned on having a couple drinks. You finally arrived at Erwin's penthouse and you knocked. "Hey M/n. Good to see you." You low-key had the hots for Erwin. He was very handsome and slightly reserved. "I was hoping you'd come." He smiled.

"It's your party. I'd never miss it. " Your eyes darkening. Erwin let you in and you were greeted by many colleagues. You felt an intense gaze and soon realized it was Levi. When you noticed him, he looked away embarrassed. You knew exactly what you'd do.

You walked over to Levi, drink in hand. "Hey. You didn't say hi to me." You say with a fake sad tone. "Yeah, sorry. I just-." He stopped. "Hmm?" "I don't know. Can I get you another drink to make it up?" Levi offered. "Sure. Then I can show you something." Levi had a curious look on his face but didn't ask any questions.

"What can I get you?" A woman with short brown hair asked. "Um, 2 Lemon-drop tequilas. Extra tequilla please." Levi requested. You stared at him with lust which Levi noticed many times. "Be right up!"

You start a normal convo with Levi at one of the tables in the penthouse. "M/n!" Marco called from the pool table. "Wanna play?"

You look over at Levi who looks a bit bummed at the sudden end of the convo. That secretly made you want to press it more. You look back over to the pool table. Erwin giving pleading eyes and you give in. "Sorry Levi, talk soon?" "Sure.."

You knew you were an asshole. Not that you cared however. You walked over to the pool table. Those around you began to chant "Illegal shot, Illegal shot, Illegal shot!" You were focused but a bit tipsy. You made the shot anyway. Everyone around the room cheered.

You can see Levi staring in your peripheral view. You took this as an opportunity to stir some more shit up. You look at Erwin and tell him to follow you. Erwin knowing where this is going, takes your hand as you lead him to another side of the penthouse.

Levi begins to shift around the room unsubconsciously following you. When you see nobody is around beside Erwin and Levi who is around the corner, you bring erwin into a heated kiss and begin to grope his cock. Erwin groans deeply and lifts behind your knees so now his manhood is pressing against yours. He begins to dry hump and you bury you head in his neck. You meet eyes with Levi and grin.

Just to overstep, "Erwin, I want it.." "Want what, doll?" Erwin acts oblivious. "Your dick, daddy." You say all this while look at Levi dead in the eyes. The man looks like he could cry. He disappears into the corner and Erwin brings you into the room of the door you were making out on.

You get pounded by Erwin for the next 30 minutes. You couldn't lie and say it wasn't a bit hard to take. You were sore but made your way back to the party. You saw Levi sitting alone at the "bar" and decided to "spill your drink" on him. You made it look realistic too, impressive.

"Shit sorry 'Vi." You say, definitely not just drunk on tequila. "It's fine." Levi avoids eye contact. "Here, lemme.." You say lowly as you attempt to rup the alcohol away with your bare hands. You look up at Levi and he has a certain look in his eyes.

"Maybe you can help me wash it out." Levi says, hinting at something. "Hic- of coursee.." You say, stumbling past people while holding Levi's hand. "Here's the hic- bathroom." You open the door with your back. As soon as you get inside, Levi slams the door shut and holds your waist from behind. His other hand around your neck. "Why're you fucking with me?" He ask in your ear.

"What do you mean, Vi'?" You say sarcastically. "I got something for you.." Levi roughly shoves you onto the bathroom counter. Pulling off your pants and boxers. You knew where this was going which is why you fueled the fire all night. Without warning, Levi shoves himself deep into your ass fully bottoming out. You were stretched out because of your exercise sesh with Erwin. So, it was easy.

That fact pissed Levi off even more. Having to relive seeing the man he liked with a close colleague. Levi took both your hands by the wrists and held them behind you with one hand. The other hand around your neck.

"Gnn..Vi'----" "Shut the fuck up." And with that, he began pounding and rutting his body violently against you. His dick and your ass making a loud slosh and fapping noise. You completely rested your body so you could feel the pounding in your stomach.

Levi gave you no room to move. Asserting dominance over you. You were so well, your ass began to drip on the floor. Groaning and moaning filling the room along with the aggressive shifting of Levi, practically tossing you around.

As Levi pulled his hips in and out with liquids connecting his pelvis and your ass, you came. You came so hard with a loud groan, cum all over the sink mixed with drool. Levi didn't' stop though.

He rammed you through your whole orgasm, not giving you a chance to scream, my coving your mouth. He found your prostate and rammed harder. He began to hear a voice beyond the door and heard Erwins. He slams your body against the door, purposly being louder.

Releasing his hand from your mouth. "--Gkh--!!Levi pleas..e!" You cries, choked up. Erwin stopped and pressed his ear against the door.

Levi rutted more then deep thrusted penetrating your g spot. You came again then began cumming after every thrust. You eyes rolling back, mouth agape, drooling, face flush and hot. Levi loved seeing you like this. All to him. He was being mean on purpose.

He didn't stop for 3 hours straight, only rammed hard, the door pounding along, hitting your cock, now in pain but pleasure, cum all over.

Yeah, it was a long night.

[the-frosty-mac]

Serana Dialogue Add-On mod (and other mods that let you romance Serana) kinda bothers me cuz like.

The fact that Serana has the agency to say no to romance and remain firm with that answer is meaningful. It’s meaningful characterization in a game where companions rarely have any real character at all beyond basic archetypes. However you interpret her decision (I have a few thoughts), her saying no at all matters. It means something. Overriding that with a mod just feels… Weird. It isn’t, like, morally wrong to do imo. it’s your game and all. but it makes me, personally, rather uncomfortable

Okay the most obvious thing is her trauma. There’s a good solid lore reason she isn’t comfortable with intimacy even if you ignore any headcanon. I won’t delve into the lore there but it’s fuckin rough. And though people who have gone through such things are still perfectly capable of intimacy, I wouldn’t blame someone for being hesitant, at least. But I’ve seen people argue that the player character should “show her what it’s like” to be loved properly which… Sounds eerily familiar. Which leads me to my next thing:

I think that Serana works as aspec representation fairly well, regardless of the intent of the devs. I certainly see her that way, personally, and consider her relationship to the Dragonborn to be something more queerplatonic. I’d like to think that that would be the case EVEN IF her backstory had not happened (because the idea of someone being aspec because of something like that is, itself, problematic, so I just need to heavily clarify that that is not where my head is at here). I know at least a few other people see her the same way. And as someone who recently came out as aromantic, I personally find it meaningful. You don’t have to interpret her the same way, and I understand why even someone who is aspec might not necessarily want to. But the line of reasoning behind “fixing” her by “showing her what it’s like to love” comes exceedingly close to shit allo folks have been known to say to/think about aspec folks irl

Like I said before, it’s your game and if you choose to interpret her differently or mod it differently etc, fair enough, but personally? I can’t really get behind it. I even did it myself once, back before I had really thought about any of this, and though I felt right about it before I did it, it just felt… Wrong, afterwards. Like I removed something from her, rather than expanded or “added on” to her. I dunno

I actually got flamed on Reddit for saying something like this once, albeit in a far less elegant manner lol

[npd-goro-akechi]

Yoshizawa, and what I would have liked to see from her character

P5R spoilers, to no ones surprise

I'll be honest, when i first played through P5R I very much did not enjoy Sumire. Didn't hate her, I just could not get myself to engage with her character. Which was a shame, because I saw what they were trying to do, I just think the game did it badly lol. Since then, I've started liking her significantly more. But, again, in no thanks to the game. Every few weeks I feel like I see a post somewhere discussing Sumire so I wanted to put all my thoughts in one coherent post. This mostly covers the direction I wish Atlus had taken to integrate her into the game better, based off completely my own opinions. First, I would have loved for them to lean further into the mysterious, possible-antagonist type I feel like they were teetering on the edge on in the P5R opening scenes in the casino. I think it would have been cool if you saw her hanging around members of the PTs during school, or had cutscenes of seeing Sumire and any of them together as if she was purposely befriending them, or any other small scenes that could have made her look suspicious if you were already coming from that angle, but then looking back after you finish the game, she's just some guy making friends. Of course, players who had played through the P5 vanilla would likely be a bit less suspicious, but with the addition of the 3rd semester I think it would be enough to keep people guessing about her role. I really don't have any detailed and well thought-out examples, though, so maybe it's not fair of me to criticize this part too much

However, I would revamp her fight with Joker in Maruki's palace completely. I feel like it comes off too much like it's Maruki's fault; she gets kept in his palace for a week and then when you meet her she fights you. To me, personally, even though I know she's choosing to do so, it really doesn't feel like it - it just feels like more of Maruki's influence. I think it would be infinitely cooler if she went back with the Phantom Thieves and then while they were all going through the palace she did something to sabotage their progress or try and stop them. It would feel so much more like her own decision and also highlight that desperation to stay as Kasumi - that she would be (apologetically,) willing to do something to halt or possibly harm her friends to avoid going back to how things were. I think if the Phantom Thieves managed to talk her out of it here, it would also work well for her actual awakening - it would likely be more impactful after a fight rather than in P5R, when the PTs are just going through the palace. It pisses me off how agency is a major theme of the game and yet one of the few times Sumire makes a choice, it's so easily brushed off as "Maruki's influence," because the game did not do a good job at portraying otherwise. In a fit of desperation, Sumire decided to fight Joker; she made that choice. But, especially with how the fight goes, with her persona then taking over, that choice is just washed over completely. I want her to be so desperate to hide from her trauma that she goes against the Phantom Thieves, and I want it to be unquestionably her decision.

There's probably more I could write, especially more about just the horror of her character, the whole taking on the role of your dead sister, but really that second part about changing her and Joker's fight is what I really wanted to talk about and dedicated most of my thoughts too lol

[knightpetrichor]

i have so many bsd zombie apocalypse fic ideas in my google docs folder and idk which to write so im posting them here lmao

Soukoku

Fifteen-year-old Chuuya is on the run from Arahabaki Lab---the lab that tried to perfect the ARAHABAKI Project, an experiment with the goal of creating a human immune to the zombie virus that's ravaging Earth.  Chuuya searches desperately for a place where the scientists can't get to him, even if it means crossing the Wastes, the large expanses of infested land between Suribachi City and Yokohama, where he hopes to take refuge.

However, the Wastes are hard to cross, and when Chuuya runs into a boy who offers to guide him to Yokohama, he says yes. Dazai is annoying, but he's a good shot; and best of all, he doesn't ask about Chuuya's past.

The trip is long and dangerous. Zombies, violent groups of survivors, and scavenging missions are all hazards, and if they want to survive, they have to work together. Fighting their way through the ruins of Japan, bickering, and encountering new people, the two grow closer, but Chuuya begins to wonder... just who is Dazai? And what is he hiding?

2. Ranpoe

When the apocalypse started, Poe lost all communication with his best friend, Ranpo, who lives overseas in Japan. Now five years later, Poe decides to go looking. (Or: Ranpo and Poe are long distance besties, The Guild are a smuggling ring with a giant ass boat that is actually plot relevant, the Armed Detective Agency are doing ADA things in Japan.) (Or: Poe and the rest of the Guild sail to Japan on the Moby Dick five years after the apocalypse after like 50k words and ranpoe canon)

3. Kunikidazai

Kunikida and Dazai are college roommates that don't really get along. but after the apocalypse starts, they have to work together to survive, at least until they get to the safehouse on the other side of the city. But as they fight their way through Japan, they end up getting closer. (Dazai is immune to zombie bites lol. The idea of having a scene parallel to that one in Dazai's Entrance Exam where Kunikida threatens to shoot Dazai but its because Dazai might turn into a zombie??? mmm)

4. Fukumori (ik, im suprised too. i dont even ship them, idk where this idea came from)

When Fukuzawa was 32, the world ended. Now three weeks later, the Silver Wolf travels from place to place, searching for somewhere to settle down as the chaos of the apocalypse takes Yokohama by storm. When he finds a seemingly abandoned building, he hopes to start a new life there, away from the city.

However, Fukuzawa is not the only one looking for somewhere to live. The building he had intended to make his home was actually an elementary school—and the four children left; Ranpo, Yosano, Dazai, and Kunikida, are still alive. Most interestingly, there is a man there—a children's physician who introduces himself as Mori Ougai. His leg is injured, but as a doctor, Mori is a useful asset to both Fukuzawa and the children, so the two make a compromise: Until things in Yokohama calm down, Fukuzawa will scavenge for food and protect Mori and the kids, and Mori will take care of any medical necessities. It's only meant to be a temporary arrangement, but time passes, Fukuzawa and Mori stay; more kids are rescued, friendships form, and before they know it, years have gone by. (Or: i slamdunk fukumori into the found family trope)

5. Fukuzawa + Ranpo

This is just an Untold Origins zombie au.

When the apocalypse started, Fukuzawa lost his best friend. Five years later, Fukuzawa is a powerful hunter capable of bringing a whole hoard down. And he does it all alone. But when he saves a 14-year-old boy from a zombie hoard and the child insists on staying, he finds that maybe it isn't too late to try again. And when the kid gets in danger, Fukuzawa has to choose between keeping his current life, and starting a new one.

anyways. if any of you guys want me to write one of these, pls comment. (or if u guys want to use any of these as prompts, go ahead, just tag me when ur done writing !! i want to see the finished product lol)

[bthump]

Do you think Griffith had agency when deciding to do the eclipse? He was backed into a pretty bad corner

Yes and no, but I don't really think of agency as 'having a free choice between multiple things without any pressure pushing you towards one specific option,' when it comes to discussing fictional characters. I think of agency as part of how a narrative is framed. Does the character make active decisions, or are they passively pushed along by the story and only react to other characters' decisions?

One thing I really like about Griffith's narrative is it feels like he has agency. He's being manipulated, he's been through hell, there's clearly only one option genuinely available to him based on everything we know about his circumstances and his character and his goals and his priorities and his fears and his desires and emotions - but that's why it's a great, well-written moment of choice. Because the factors that go into that choice hinge largely on Griffith's personality and internal life.

He's not driven to choose the sacrifice because Void put a gun to his head and said 'become a demon or die.' It's not even really about a choice between 'become a demon or live the rest of your life in powerless misery.' That's part of it from Griffith's perspective, but it's not an objective fact that he's doomed to misery, and it's not his driving motivation, it's more like the final straw.

He's driven to choose the sacrifice because he's spent a lifetime convincing himself that he needs to justify his existence by achieving a dream, and because his love for Guts ruined his life and he wants to cut that love out of himself, and because he's terrified of living a life of being taken care of, and because he's in the middle of a suicidal breakdown and he sees it as an escape.

It would be boring if the reasons he chose the sacrifice didn't come from strong characterization, but rather from plot circumstances. As a fictional character, he has narrative agency here, and I love it. In theory he could've said no, but we know he never would, because we understand Griffith as a person, and we can see how this set of circumstances play on his character and personality to guarantee he'll choose the sacrifice.

That said, on a watsonian, in-universe level, he doesn't have agency lol because fate exists. Almost no one in Berserk has agency, and so far even the characters who could theoretically go against fate haven't yet, as far as I can tell.

And I guess I'll also say that, again on a watsonian level, using a more irl definition of agency, an outside observer could easily argue he has no agency because of the extreme circumstances of the sacrifice. Like, when gods descend from the heavens after you attempt suicide and tell you you can escape your pain and achieve your life's goal after all and all you have to do is sacrifice a bunch of people who already agreed to potentially die for that goal, plus the guy who you blame for ruining your life, well, it's a pretty coercive circumstance.

But yeah on a narrative level I think the scene works as a satisfying climax to the Golden Age arc because the reason Griffith makes the sacrifice isn't 'he felt like his hands were tied' but rather 'his characterization organically led to this choice.'

Thanks for the ask!

[kaibacorpintern]

Do u think seto would be a good father? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

I think he wouldn't have any kids unless he feels like he could provide them with a long-lasting safe and stable environment - one of the things he most lacked from HIS childhood.

I also think Seto and Mokuba is not a great model for how Seto would raise his own kid, because 1) that's a relationship informed by intense and prolonged trauma and isolation, both from other people and each other, and 2) no matter what Seto promised to Mokuba when they were 10 and 5, Gozaburo threw that all into the shitter by making Seto into an emotionally distant, obsessive, and unstable person who has failed Mokuba a number of times, and whom Mokuba has to beg or turn away from self-destructive paths and tendencies. The last canon moment of their relationship in the Yugioh DM storyline is Kaiba abandoning Mokuba at the end of DSOD, which despite all the love that exists between them, does not exactly make him a "good father."

BUT let's assume Kaiba is in a happy and stable place and the ghost of Gozaburo is long dead and he, perhaps, has a loving partner he wants to raise a child with (or not). I think he'd be a loving but demanding father (you WILL do well in school, you will succeed, you will excel), at turns both attentive in making sure his child is happy and safe, and distant by sheer virtue of getting absorbed in his work and ignoring everyone around him... he'd want his kid to be the best at what they do, in whatever they choose to do, if only because being the "best" gives you a measure of control and agency over your own life; and that's probably the thing, alongside safety, that he'd most want his kids to have (because those are the things HE didn't get.) Maybe the main challenge to Kaiba being a good father, aside from deliberately and conscientiously setting aside certain elements of Gozaburo's parenting style (withholding love/approval unless unattainable goals and standards are met), would be getting him into a healthy middle ground between overbearing/neurotically controlling and distant/distracted/inattentive.

IDT he'd be AFFECTIONATE but if the kid did something he was proud of, they'd fucking know it. He wouldn't skimp on love. In the same vein, he probably wouldn't skimp on disapproval.

Final thought: I think he'd be a fun (not goofy) dad lol. he'd take his kids very seriously and have full respect for the intellect of a child. If they say there's a monster under the bed, then by god, he's setting up elaborate anti-monster defenses!!

[sleeplesssmoll]

I realized that mesmer.jr might be one of the most unique suitcase crew member

This idea came to my mind because I read a post talking about "vertin being a Mary sue" not in the sense that she can do everything but rather everyone just likes her, the post pointed out that everyone vertin meet liked her, even Jessica who she only meet for a day was willing trust vertin more then blonney

It also pointed out that the only people who disliked vertin was forget me not and her teacher from the orphanage, they said that the only reason forget me not disliked vertin is because they were enemies on opposite sides, and her teacher disliked her because she was a chaotic problem child, they *had* reason to dislike her

But the moment I read that my mind automatically go to Mesmer, I thought "Mesmer doesn't like vertin" and the more I thought the more unique Mesmer became in my eyes.

Mesmer is probably one of the only people in the crew who just dislikes vertin, sure they could work together but Mesmer clearly dislikes vertin, and I think vertin doesn't like Mesmer either, not in the sense that she hates Mesmer but rather she wouldn't go out of her way to hang out with Mesmer.

Mesmer is unique because she doesn't exactly have a reason to dislike vertin, she just doesn't like her, sure she might be blaming vertin for the breakaway incident but she is smart enough to know that vertin was a child and she didn't know about the storm, so she wouldn't blame her fully

And it's not because vertin is an arcanist as Mesmer already said she can tolerate/normal towards the arcanists from the foundation like sonnetto, but even if they both are from foundation and can work together if required, Mesmer just doesn't like vertin, and neither vertin does like Mesmer all that much

Hopefully my points come across lol! I tried to address as much as I could but let me know if I missed something 😊

Why do people like Vertin?

As for the “Why Jessica chose Vertin over Blonney Question” I have a in depth answer here. I also explained why Jessica believes in Vertin’s words.

The simple answer is the way the proposal was made by Vertin as opposed to Blonney. Blonney means well, but her offer did not reflect Jessica’s concerns. Jessica’s decision is not about the different offers rather than the person saying it.

This is a great jumping off point as to why do people follow Vertin? This ties in a bit with my Manus Vindicate post but essentially the people who meet Vertin are cornered and don’t have many options to begin with (except Druvis but that’s a topic for another time). Here are some examples:

Regulus recognized the fact the Foundation would chase her down no matter how much she runs, which isn’t the freedom she wants. Jessica is scared of isolation and rejection from the outside world (humanity). Joshua is a troublemaker who doesn’t conform and suffers consequneces. These arcanists already have a motive/reason to follow her. Another thing to consider is what would happen if they did not? They would be stuck in their current situations for who knows how long. Vertin gave them a way out.

Another important tidbit is Vertin’s approach. In the most simple terms, Vertin listens to people.

This seems so small but think about the other ways we see the Foundation or Manus “convince “ people to join their cause.

Manus uses fear and control to herd people like sheep. Then they brainwash them to take away their agency. However the fear of the Storm and the discrimination against arcanists make them one of the few viable options for arcanists seeking shelter from a world that despises them.

The Foundation uses lies and keeps corruption to hide the abuse they put arcanists through in the name of humanity but they also provide “shelter”. To choose the Foundation is to choose to be a dog on a leash (unless your human), but at least you'll be safe from the Storm.

Finally, there is the Timekeeper. Unlike the other factions, Vertin listens to people’s concerns and addresses them directly. She does not make false claims and outright admits she will do what is in her power. She recognized Druvis’s grief and tried to show her a glimmer of hope. She wanted to understand Schneieder’s anger and desperation. She appealed to Regulus’s love of freedom and appeased Jessica’s fear of rejection by the world.

That being said, I wouldn’t say she’s a Mary Sue but a glimmer of hope for the vulnerable people she meets (that being said they could have built this up more but perhaps they had to keep things short and clean for brevity's sake. This bit is speculation). 

Mesmer Jr.

Mesmer is such a complex character! She is not easy to categorize making her very unique but I also feel she is misunderstood for that same reason. I mention her tragic talents in this post if you want a more detailed picture but the short version is she suffers a lot of trauma which affects the way she interacts with others.

I agree with you in that she is too smart to blame Vertin for the break-away event. However, I don’t think she dislikes Vertin, rather the way she shows concern for others is different from what people are used to seeing. Back in their younger days, it was Mesmer who confronted Vertin first at George the Oak Tree during their secret meeting. She was the first to speak up then and get things moving along because the others were tense and nervous.

Years later, we see her do it again. This time for Vertin’s sake in Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien- A Deep Sleep. Mesmer Jr. didn’t have to tell Sonetto that Vertin was being kept here against her will and that this is all part of Constantine’s plan, but she did. She says it's because she shares the same values. She cares about her friends but her trauma warps the ways she interacts with them.

In An Opened Sandwich it is stated that Vertin understands her trauma because they both carry it. She sees the scars on Mesmer’s hands but knows the emotional ones are the real issue because she is the same way.

In the Suitcase, Vertin doesn’t know how to properly interact with her but she tries to understand. Mesmser is always nagging her and has no problem ordering Vertin around, but that doesn’t mean she dislikes her. In fact, I’d say it's a sign of familiarity because she is not afraid Vertin will have an outburst like other arcanists. We can see this in her lines:

Bond Morning: Too many arcanists here, weirdos as well. Damn it... You'd better prepare me a room where I won't be disturbed. Last time, the girl doing the potion experiments made everything so dusty I could barely clean myself. 

(Note the difference in the way she talks about other arcanists as opposed to Vertin and Sonetto in the story.)

Bond Night: It's very quiet out there. The door is securely locked. At night, the river whispers outside the window. I must extend my gratitude since you prepared such a perfect room for me. Also thanks for your suitcase. That's all, that's it.

(While this is speculation, I know some people find the sound of water like rain, streams, the ocean, etc calming for the mind. I wonder if this room by the river was chosen for that purpose? It would show Vertin is considering what works best for Mesmer's condition)

The most interesting lines to me are these:

Monologue: That's it, that's it, enough... Stop crying, stop, and don't laugh. Don't be insane. I am fed up watching or hearing you. Leave me alone for a while! Just a while! Stay away from me!

This seems like a breakdown and she needs space from everyone to collect herself. It shows that she suffers and the strong mask she wears slips at times.

Suitcase Climate: Those insane people screamed and rushed out of the guardroom. They kept meaninglessly and repeatedly roaring. Then, their blood shed on the snowy ground. I've seen that a lot.

She opens up to Vertin about the violence she witnessed working in Laplace. Like her, Vertin's also lost people she was supposed to help.

Mesmer doesn’t go out of her way to hang out with others, but that is because she is protecting herself. You can read more of her voice lines here if you’re interested.

While I don’t think Mesmer and Vertin are super best friends or anything, I do think they recognize the trauma in each other that other people won’t understand. Vertin tries to accommodate her and Mesmer is grateful for that, even if she struggles to show it. Mesmer is also willing to help Vertin on her own principals.

She's such a badass. Tragic, yet headstrong. I hope we see more of her in the future.

[ccarrot]

so basically what if we set the bsd timeline back 7 years, messed around with everyone's ages and shot some of them out into different roles.

at the start we have:

Mori(33) is a year into his takeover of the Port Mafia

His new apprentice Yosano(14) met him one year ago and helped him orchestrate the takeover plot

a year ago Dazai(age range: 16-18 i haven't settled lol) fled the Port Mafia shortly before Mori's coup because of the death of his family, and his friend, Oda

Dazai finds himself in the Armed Detective Agency really quickly. (everyone knows he's from the mafia off the bat)

He gets paired off with Atsushi (20) because everyone at the Agency thinks he's the kindest and patientest person to help a troubled kid like Dazai

Atsushi was sent to the military at 10 upon the orphanage director learning about the abilities for war plan.

Atsushi ended up in the same division as Fukuchi and Teruko. He chooses leave the military after that, and eventually meets the Detective Agency.

Rimbaud(27) makes executive under Mori and is ready to start causing some trouble in the Suribachi area in order to look for a useful government asset

the local street gang implodes due to Rimbaud (and Mori's) meddling, and Chuuya(15) has nowhere to go but Yokohama

Chuuya gets to be the shounen protag as he deserves <3

anyways

Akutagawa(19) and Dazai did NOT get along to say the least. Tanizaki(19) is Akutagawa's partner in the Mafia and they don't get along either lmaoooo

haven't really settled on what kind of dynamic Aku and Daz had.

Kunikida(15) is also Akutagawa's new recruit. His family were victims of the Old Boss's terror spree, and Akutagawa found him and wanted to give him a new sense of purpose. Kunikida is a very lawful evil type. he's got the strictest moral code around while also like. being an active participator of violence.

Kunikida and Chuuya end up butting heads a bunch lol. It's almost like im setting them up to.... be......... rivals.

Higuchi(19) is a part timer at the Agency.

Yosano joins the agency too eventually. It troubles her that having a healing ability has only lead her to killing

The ADA is actually rather new at this point in the timeline but we already have some notable members: Ranpo, the reason the agency was founded ofc, at 23. (he was 18 when he met Fukuzawa). Kenji and Kyouka both 21.

Instead of Oda, Kyouka was the assassin from Untold Origins, and Ranpo immediately sibling adopted her. They found Kenji later on accident.

I'm thinking about how chaotic the Guild arc will be. See you can't do much shuffling with the Guild bc they must be Americans. lol

Other random things:

There's not much of a reason that dazai is a little older than kunikida and chuuya. there's some of logic happening in my mind that's not be happening in yours.

I haven't settled on something exact for dazai yet other than he's out of the Mafia before Mori takes over

No one's really got beef with Mori until they meet Yosano. Well i guess Fukuzawa's still salty abt the break up.

Chuuya gets a crush. on... someone here 👍

Starts off like how the pilot did but with Chuuya fishing Dazai from the river.

[catofoldstones]

what do you think fandom wise would happen if j0nsa was heavily hinted at in winds? most BNFs would have the biggest aneurysm lol

Well, it will definitely divide the fandom even more. As for the BNFs they will react the same way they did when the affc outline was released and the “resolve to be sansa stark” and “take north” excerpts came to light: by writing lengthy essays about how it’s something else entirely. Or maybe go full ostrich syndrome and duck their heads into the sand, and deny everything; claim that jonsas are delusional and we’re only seeing things we want to see. They might even go one step further and argue that Jon has lost his character and the Jon they know would never do anything like this, which is fairly common for fandoms in general to do.

As for jonsas, there might be schisms in this fandom too. I know and love mutuals who wish for Jon & Sansa to fall in love while they think siblings and get married to save the north and unmuddle the claim to the north, but I personally feel like the story is moving towards Sansa gaining more agency and independence in her life, so I would like for her to choose who she wants to marry, and it has to be someone who wants her despite her claim to the north. So them marrying out of obligation will never work for me, and people like me. But, a win is a win ;)

I think jonsa neutrals will continue to be just that and analyse the book from a non-ship perspective, which they still do.

Would love to see the tiktok “who is jeyne poole” and “cersei jaime incest explained” and “did you know in the books…” plebeians have a collective meltdown because they usually seem to have the strongest opinions on the books without ever having read them. I’ll have popcorn ready lol.

HOWEVER, the hints will only worsen the fandom wars we have going on. Every single anti opinion will trigger us and every single meta post by us will trigger the antis launching into an all out nuclear attack from both sides which will result in both new jonsas and new jonsa antis, twitter blowing up our posts, and a frustrated and unfruitful yearn for ados on all ends. The world side-eyes us and moves on, we don’t.

But, for that George has to release twow first, which rn feels both inevitable yet impossible.

TLDR: fandom remains fandom, we fight over the book like surviving factions over a fresh deer carcass after a zombie apocalypse, no one moves on.

[compacflt]

Would you ever consider writing about a different path Ice and Mav could take, one where they choose to leave the Navy and pursue a more open relationship and civilian life? Thinking it would be easier but maybe the sacrifice to their careers brings its own challenges?

(hi, jan 2024 me here, this was an ask that I answered when it was sent in in May 2023 & didn't post because I felt I actually answered it fictionally in the "icedad" one-shot the week after [and you can obviously see how these thoughts affected the writing of other pieces like "tremors & aftershocks"], but I still mostly agree with this take [though it's a little overgeneralizing] & I think it sums up a lot of my final "meta" modern-military-theory thoughts on ice & mav & their relationship, so im posting it now before I post the compacflt masterpoast)

see,… the thing is, i just… can’t see that happening!! i have no idea how to write that!!! Maybe i really do have a lack of imagination. But i can’t see that happening for a number of reasons. So short answer, no.

Long answer (and it’s long):

1. lame reason to start out, but it, uh, it’s canon that ice ends up at O-10 and mav ends up at O-6. not saying that im beholden to canon obviously (my mav ends up at O-7 and my ice ends up alive) but I do base my characterizations of them on the implications of the political struggles of both their careers so… taking away ice’s fourth star is basically starting from square one wrt my characterization of him. which is a lot of work. i could start from the beginning with a top gun 1986 ice who knows he’s gay—that would be a fun AU (i think other people than me have definitely done that better, though—I’m a one-trick pony). So if that’s what you mean then disregard the rest of this post. but if what you mean is a divergence from my existing work (i.e. homophobic/rank-climbing ice&mav) then… yeah, can’t see that happening, for further reasons below.

2. wrt my characterization of him: it’s based on a broad historical overview of armed service officers and the expectations of their careers. in my view, high-ranking officers aren’t after power—or maybe they started their careers wanting power, but somewhere down the line, it just becomes an expectation. if you do everything right and follow all the rules, you are expected by the institution to lead, whether you want to or not. That’s just the pipeline. at some point you start losing agency. which is what I mean when I keep saying ice doesn’t have a choice in advancing his career (besides the meta fact that this is fanfiction and canon demands that he have 4 stars lol)—high ranking military officers are continually and continually groomed for bigger and better positions; and the longer they spend in the military, the harder it is to leave that lifestyle for something else. And with ice’s canonical (and characteristically INTEGRAL, as I mentioned a week or so ago) refusal to rebel against the wishes of the navy as an institution, plus this historical expectation to lead placed upon the shoulders of excelling officers, I really do think ice is destined for four stars & nothing less, even if it gives him chronic depression. It’s his highest priority not because he wants it to be, but because…it just is. that’s how the institutionalized system of advancement in the military works. it just is. it has to be.

3. I mentioned in this post that I can’t ever see a foot in the door with them talking about their relationship unless maverick dies and is resurrected, and I feel the exact same way about them & their retirement plans. There’s a lot that ice and mav don’t talk about: the biggest one is obviously Goose’s death, the foundation of their relationship; but also their love for each other obv, what they did to rooster, AND their careers, which have to end at some point. Them talking about everything is totally inevitable, it was gonna have to happen eventually before they died, and I think one foot in the door MIGHT have been them eventually talking about retirement (someone sent in a prompt asking for this exactly & i am brainstorming it furiously) but before the Navy FORCES them to retire… i think they would studiously avoid talking about it. For a couple reasons: a) what does retiring with each other mean? living in the same house until they die together? hard to do if you’re just good friends. talking about retirement is tantamount to talking about Them. and b) what are they gonna do outside the navy? Ice has a lot of options, as I mentioned in the slider one-shot—general/flag officers are SUPER sought after in leadership/intelligentsia/management positions post service, so maybe if he were offered a crazy cool civilian position somewhere in San Diego in like the 2000s he would quit the navy for it… but what about maverick? I have no idea what a non-navy mav would do. Civilian airline pilot? Hoo boy. I think he’d hate that. I could maybe see emergency helicopter pilot, lol, or race car driver (i just watched days of thunder can you tell?) but none of the above offers the institutionalized honor the navy does (that, as a reminder, he *killed people* to obtain in the first place). I suggested his test piloting expertise would make him an attractive technical advising candidate to A&D companies like Boeing, LockMart, GD, etc. so that might be one option. But it might have been kind of a touchy subject for him before he racked up the expertise he’d need for those high-level civilian positions… the navy was kinda his only option. So they wouldn’t talk about it because it might hurt his feelings.

4. The biggest reason: again… open rebellion like rocking the boat by quitting the navy to be in an open long-term gay relationship, in upper mil brass ranks, and even retired upper mil brass ranks, just… isn’t done. And REALLY wasn’t done in the 2000s, when i think the scenario in this ask is positioned. And it’s not like “oh but whatever who cares about the navy, ice and mav are in love, they deserve to be happy no matter what, they should do what they want, fuck the navy…” no. Ice and Mav care about the navy. Clearly. Canonically. By necessity. The military requires cohesion and on some level repression of individuality & personal expression to FUNCTION, even when you’re retired. Yes, maverick certainly strains against that repression (which is why you Could spin top gun as an anti-military franchise if you were desperate enough), but he rebels through his ACTIONS (stupid plane maneuvers) not through his personal IDENTITY. his personal identity (headstrong overtly masculine white male pilot, whether gay or straight who cares) is NEVER challenged throughout the franchise (i.e. no one really challenges his masculinity specifically) & his personal identity does not POSE a challenge to the navy. Both he and ice in their outward-facing personal identities really fit in quite neatly to the navy’s overarching identity & contribute to the navy’s cohesion in a way that is favorable to both their careers and the establishment. Lack of imagination or not… i can’t see a universe in which Ice and mav would actively WANT to rock the boat and wreck the navy’s cohesion and their reputations for an open relationship and definitively rebellious personal identities, with the obvious caveat being Maverick’s death recontextualizing both their priorities (yes we’re in love AND we’ve finally proven ourselves to be ultra-capable officers regardless of our sexuality so no one has a license to judge us anymore etc.).

And also, they’re not enlisted seamen. Nor are they mediocre officers who have the luxury of fading into obscurity. Things are different when you’re that high in the ranks, and when your job publicly matters more. sorry, but even post DADT (probably until about biden’s election), an open relationship would end their careers. They might not be fired, but they’d never be promoted again. Too much of a liability getting subordinates to still respect them, from the higher-ups’ perspective, especially if there are other qualified candidates who fit the navy’s core identity better. Like—sorry. This is such a jaded oversimplification. But if you rock the boat like that (i.e. break the service’s united front to be individualistic in a way that does not match the service’s overarching identity), from the perspective of your officer peers, you simply are a bad officer. Being an open individual in a job where you are required to fit in and represent your service is not your job. You are not doing your job well. Straight-up. Even if you’re retired. I met US Army 4-star gen. David Petraeus (retired obv) in February—he led the successful-ish surge in iraq and Afghanistan in the mid-2000s—and he’s STILL a laughingstock for his disastrous affair with his biographer a decade ago, even after he retired from AD service. That’s what people remember him for, not the fact that he was one of our only successful commanders in any of our Middle East campaigns.

Something like that might be one of ice and mav’s worst fears—being known for their affair/scandal instead of the institutionalized honor they’ve fought and killed for. That kind of thing just Isn’t Done. It's bad taste. You have to keep it quiet. If you’re an officer representing the service, you have to represent it well & according to the service’s preconceived identity, even in retirement. (see, for another shitty example of "not fitting in" even in retirement, Lt. gen. Mike Flynn [his whole scandal is actually kinda geopolitically relevant to my fic if you squint lol] whom everyone fucking hates)

To summarize: i hope I’m not mischaracterizing your ask when i reframe it like this—would you ever write ice and mav without the institutionalized pressure to advance in rank and conform to institutional norms?

and yes, I would (and will if you ask—it looks like this: ice & mav meet & fall in love & it’s boring and fine. end of story), but I guarantee you someone else already has. I’m all about interrogation of institutional norms here. And i think until maverick dies & comes back from the dead, there is absolutely no *REALISTIC* incentive for ice & mav to leave the navy and/or have an open relationship. Like it’s just not possible. Idk how else to say it.

[mswyrr]

Things like prolonged abuse can give people very uneven social and emotional development. They can be very responsible and "mature for your age" in some areas and also very stunted and immature in others.

This can also happen for, say, LGBT people who were closeted during pivotal periods of development too, where dating and discovering themselves happens later and there can be a development gap for a time. And grief around never getting to be a kid when they were a kid can be a thing for people once they try to connect with the things they had to cut off because they weren't safe to feel them. I went through some of that myself, from various sources, so I have a lot of empathy for that and how absurd/frustrating it can be.

(And a lot of hope - it doesn't, as far as I've seen and experienced, take someone very long to "catch up" after a while of fumbling around like an idiot)

Anyway - sometimes I see people reading Carmy's "accidental fuckboi" behavior in terms of how a grown man who's been dating since he was a teen would be thinking/feeling, if he behaved like that. But, for me, I interpret that differently because of the “first” situation and the developmental stuff. IMO, he's basically being a feckless/inexperienced teenager dating for the first time here, because in this area of his life he is still developmentally a dumb feckless teenager (and one who is trying and failing "not to be shitty" without much of a clue what that looks like).

Doesn't make the harm less real, but the intent I think is shaped deeply by the fact that, for the first time in his life, he feels safe enough (because of how much responsibility Sydney and Nat are taking on and that is absolutely not fair to them!!) to try to enjoy things. And he thinks maybe he can even make that work with being responsible somehow, but... utterly clueless about how.

There's the caveat that he didn't go out and choose to start dating at this pivotal moment for the business - dating found him and there's complexities around how much he wanted it to find him right here and now and how much he feels obligated to be what his family/friends/Claire wants him to be. I think he'd have been able to turn down anyone who wasn't as deeply tied to his family as Claire, and I'm not ignoring his agency in the situation, but they chose to bring someone in who he'd find it incredibly difficult to balance pleasing/doing what he's expected to do by while balancing everything else for a reason.

The "executive function" stuff where he's staring at the calls coming in and unable to answer either of them is key for me, in terms of this being someone who just isn't functioning well rn at all and is coming to a real crisis point and trying to ignore that/salve that any way he can think of. Masking really hard and deep in denial and trying to keep a lot of plates spinning without being very intentional about any of it.

It leads to sucky behavior and he's responsible for that--and the other characters can and should hold him responsible for that, but especially for actually addressing the core gravity warping untreated mental illness that's motivating a lot of this frantic rushing around and being a prick-- but I don't personally see much of it as a crime of intent. Intent requires a level of insight and experience that he doesn't have in the area of dating specifically lol

That balance of someone being responsible for their actions but also, for various reasons, in a place that mitigates and shapes what they're able to do--based on the tools they have--is an interesting part of the story that gets touched on again and again through various characters. It's interesting and it can coexist with the people around someone having the right to protect their own peace and boundaries.