#like literally how do u look at that n go “that man. thats the one i love”
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Forever shocked my partner system still sees me as loveable after watching me chug 2 bottles of booze and pass out on call
#??? speaks#like literally how do u look at that n go “that man. thats the one i love”#i love my partner sooooo much i have no fucking idea what they see in me but im soso happy with them. yay🐬🌈✨️#a partner who doesnt judge or hate me when i struggle and encourages me to be better in a way that is kind and loving?!?! WOW#didnt know that was pawsible until then. beautiful wordl
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ill b so real w myself: fuck.
#the fact that i dont even fucking wany anything to do w him. n i o ly wanna hear from him jus so i can tell him to fuck off#bc . i cant Do this to myaeld anymors like . okay ! u royally fucked up and then Kept Fucking Up.#its not like . you just Shattered me into piecws n then . went mia. no ur constantly in and out kf my fucking side ciew#and its Exhaystibg. all of this is exhaustibg.#n im looming forewars to one week where i sont . have to Deal With Him Ay All. like .#hes blcoked n STAYINY blockes bc FUCK YOUUU lmao.#n apart od it is the return of Libra ill b real.#but its not kike i had to force that saitch. it was kinda natyrally occuring#i had always Known that librs would be tue first man that would like Crack smtg in me that would . allow me to consider dating again#n he has . n i do wanna see what this is abt .#or morr so: what this has to do w me and my Issues .#bc i can laugh at astrology all i want but thus Fucker does nothing vut make me deel Awful n face my own weird paranoia#and all his Major planets are literally my 8/ 12h#gucker has a libra n aquarius stellium. go figure.#anyway idc abt the rest of tgis im ignoring astrolofy tgis time around bur this sits in the back of my head#but . anyway yea i literally . as much i as i can admit i am attracred to him.#i hate that i get talkative when im anxious ! bc i cannot b in the same room as him sometimes#will go out for a smoke at the bar n . due to regulations the area Sucks And Is Small#n i just . Oanic whenever hes around fot some reason#n then theres this weird Explorative and Invasive Thing i feel when he fucking looks ay me.#oh dude ive backed this up u cannoy . deny me this .#i am not insane abt this . there is smth in his stare on me that is deer in headlights essentially. and its just so Haunting sometimes bc .#WHAT. WHAT do u WANT !#and its fucked up when im at work.#cannot . fucking.#i hate everything how do my friends have more . of an interest#wait. oh hold the FUCK .#nah ok thats my own doing in Some Fuckign Way what am i doing wrong#okay anyway whatever lol#anyway .i wanna cry at the fact that i literally . am going to b in brisbane for a week n liyerally dont havr to see him
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fall is almost here...autumn. is. arriving..emotional..//.
#imjustsittinghere#hoodie era...#feeling...............emotional....................#on one hand.. i love fall.. i love fall fashion i love the way autumn smells and how the sunset looks#and not even the sunset but just like what 4 oclock in september looks like..#sat at the park the other day to knit and it was just that perfect colour out like light literally looks different in the fall and i love i#on the other hand... kinda lonely (cringe)#saw death grips with three of my bestest friends yesterday and had a really good time but then i had to go home#driving to the venue then smoking weed in the parking lot n tuck was like u know i love how i can hang with any of u three#after any amount of time and its like literally nothing has changed#<3 :')))))))))))))))) so real#i see aidan like a couple times a year and everytime im like man i love talking to him hes so cool#see tuck like the same amount tbh and everytime he does his stupid loud laugh at something i say my heart grows 800 times the size#(said id been listening to ICP lowkey and didnt even get to finish my sentence mfers laughed so hard)#(its cause im buying pants with an ICP patch on them) anyway stupid fkers i love them#ryan too my absolute homie but im going to kill him....has to move out of his apartment thats down the street from me next month..crying#have treasured having him near so much do not know what i am going to do#have been saying this for 800 years but need everyone i love to live within a quarter mile of me for REAL .. like come here ....#hope things work out for him.. those other two fkers.. both mentioned moving to tdot soon maybe like u fucking better i miss yall#anyway does anyone want to sit on my floor with me#sap vulnerable post over i simply love the homies n wish the people i love were nearer to me#11:11 and i am wishing for sometimes to have a little bit more company <3
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꒦꒷ 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 hushed fantasies ¡
pairing brother's best friend¡nicholas chavez x fem¡reader
summary thinking you were messaging your friend, you accidentally sent your brother's best friend a thirsty paragraph about him, with Nicholas opening it before you get a chance to delete it. what you were not expecting was the leading conversation, causing realization to wash over you as he hints your desire is not one-sided after all.
contains suggestive, sexual tension, a bit of dirty talking, a brief kiss, flustered reader, cocky nic, hes also very freaky (uhh???)
a/n this is the silliest thing ive ever written i was giggling the whole time while writing it. likes and reblogs are v much appreciated!!!
word count 1.7k
You: the amount of self control i have is insane because why do i not have this mans dick in my mouth rn please i need nic so fucking bad its not even funny anymore he is everything i want in life id let him use me any day morning afternoon n night im available ugh i dont even get the ick when its him he was acting like a dad earlier yelling at us to grill the meat right and it was so adorable ill call you daddy u want me to call u sir i dont kink shame im down for whatever king omg stop he got hurt earlier and he GROANED???? i almost fell to my knees YAHOOO he definitely whimpers #needthat 10/10 i just know its thick ooh tip pink shade #d97e77 thats insane till my knees are bruised and my throats scratched my panties fell tears are rolling down my thighs OMG PLS can you feel my pain hes so bodangshis how does my brother look at him and not wanna fuck him id be all over him if that was my friend gahhhd!!! hes actually so sweet he kept speaking to me earlier so i dont feel left out of the conversation and i find that adorable do u think he slaps it before he cums oh my his girlfriends so lucky im ab to put her in a headlock ahaha this is gross no man should have this much of an impact on u unless their dick is big and the sex is absolutely amazing yooo what he probably knows how to please a lady id be hard if i had a dick rn STOPP he has a happy trail im gonna lose it hahah lets find out where it leads i dont wanna think ab that im going crazy literally pulling my hair out that should be u baby GIVE ME A CHANCE?!!!! thinking ab him makes me so nervous this is getting a little too srs ahaha okay im sorry hows life?!? i miss u :(
Sending that message, you were anything but expecting the response you got in return, not from the man himself, that’s for sure.
nic: oh?
nic: i think you got the wrong person
You audibly gasp, realization washing over you as you read over the message. That was, in fact, not for Nicholas, nor was it for anyone but your friend to see.
You panic, putting your phone down to process what happened, needing a moment before responding. Right, you needed to do that.
But why did he see it so fast? He didn't even give you time to comprehend your message, the text switching to read in an instant.
Hell, it was midnight, and it’s been a long, tiring day for the both of you, having been out the whole afternoon, merely to come back to the hotel and spend more time with your other friends.
Everyone decided to end the night off early; early being a bit before midnight, with you heading to your room afterwards. Your brother and his best friend shared the room taking place next to yours, making it easy to reach out to him.
And for that, you were grateful since Nicholas was with him; meaning you got to see more of him throughout this trip.
You’ve had a crush on Nicholas for god knows how long, with it starting the moment your brother befriended him. You’ve technically gone through all the phases he experienced, hell, you saw him more than your own parents.
He was sweet, a little too sweet, perhaps it bothered you. Nicholas was very known among women, he knew how to attract a lady, showering her with praises until he eventually got what he wanted.
That made you extremely jealous, knowing you couldn't have him. He was forbidden, off-limits, someone you could only admire from afar.
And that stupid crush of yours led to this conversation, one you didn't want to discuss.
You: i didnt mean to send that to you
The text switched from delivered to read right away, causing your breath to catch in your throat.
nic: clearly
nic: i dont have a gf btw
Why did he feel the need to clarify that, and why were you relieved over hearing it?
You buried your face in your pillow, feeling heat reduce from your body. You’ve never been this embarrassed before, not around Nicholas. While you were weird sometimes, it was never this bad.
He wasn't supposed to know about this, nor discover it the way he did.
You: cover your eyes pls
You: this wasn't for u
nic: you sure?
nic: are there any other nics in your life?
Your stomach twisted at the message, hand coming up to cover your mouth as an audible gasp escaped your throat. How could he say that?
You felt all sorts of emotions wash over you, unable to process each one of them as you read the message over and over again.
You: what if there is
The question was risky, it could either end with him telling your brother, or him teasing you over it and brushing it off. Either way, you couldn't have him, so why not just fuck it and go with the flow?
nic: then that would be disappointing.
Your breath caught in your throat, vision going blurry as Nicholas’ bubble kept appearing and disappearing.
nic: id really hate that you feel this way about someone else
Oh my god, were you dreaming?
You could not believe your eyes. You turned off your phone, letting the dimness of the room seep through for a moment before you unlocked your device once again, heart skipping a beat when you realized it was real.
Nicholas, your brother’s best friend, might have been flirting with you, but that’s just in your head, right…?
You: ??? wdym
nic: you first
nic: was this about me, doll?
The pet name made you weak to your core, spiraling you over the edge as you put your phone down for a second. You took a deep breath, feeling your face heat up at how suggestive the boy sounded.
He sounded so desperate, you weren't sure if it was the tiredness, or him being genuine. Either way, you’re fucked, because you’re willing to do anything for him, even if it means breaking your heart.
You: what if it was
You: what will you do ab it
You felt nauseous as you waited for a response, groaning when the boy disappeared for a minute. Did you say something wrong? Why did he suddenly leave?
nic: then id risk it all
Speechless. Your mouth hung open, chest filling with lust as a breath heaved out of you.
You: are you saying this because you’re tired
nic: no
nic: god no
There was no ounce of self control in your body left. You almost screamed, overwhelmed by a new sense of emotions.
Is this how it felt? Because fucking hell.
You: it is
nic: it is what?
You: this is so embarrassing
You: why are you making me admit it you know exactly what im talking about
nic: baby
nic: jus tell me
You: no you suck im going to sleep
nic: WAIT no come here youre so cute
You blushed at the message, unable to suppress the smile forming on your lips. God, he’s such an idiot. And you were totally swooned for him.
You: i literally just sent you a message talking ab how much i wanna suck your dick what about that is cute
nic: oh? so you do admit it
You: …
You felt nervous, realizing how serious this has gotten. From a silly message turned into you contemplating whether this was a good idea. The last thing you were anticipating while typing that message was a confrontation, one from Nicholas; at that.
nic: you couldve told me yk
You: do you hear yourself
nic: ? what
You: nic you know this is wrong
You: youre gonna wake up tmr and forget all ab it
nic: you knkw
nic: yoirw so fucjinf hot
You came to a halt, noticing the amount of mistakes the boy was making. Your mind wandered somewhere else, feeling heat crawl past your neck, all the way to your face.
You: what are you saying
nic: fucking hell
nic: take the hint baby
You froze in your spot, tongue coming out to wet your lips, suddenly feeling heat travel to in between your legs. Don’t give in, don't give in, don’t give in.
You: what
nic: you couldve asked me if you were curious
nic: i wouldve happily showed you
That sent you over the edge. Your mind went fuzzy, unable to process the last few texts you received from Nicholas. He was being serious, dead serious, you were sure of that.
The texts you exchanged always revolved around your brother; usually Nicholas asking whether he was home or not. However, this one was different.
He was hinting something, something very risky that you were unable to resist.
You: dont say that
nic: what, you don't believe me?
You: nic
nic: give me five
You stared at the message on the screen, confused on what he meant. Your eyebrows furrowed with puzzlement, awaiting a message, merely to get nothing in return.
As you were about to shut your phone and go to sleep, it pinged, the notification startling you awake. You clicked on it immediately, mind going hazy as you read the message over and over again.
nic: open the door
nic: im outside your room
You didn’t hesitate as you got up, swiftly walking your way to the door. You unlocked it with haste, vision going blurry as you caught sight of Nicholas, who was standing inches away from you now.
He looked just as desperate as you were, maybe even more. And that was it, it was all you needed to pull him by the collar and cease the distance between you two.
The moment his lips collided with yours, you realized that maybe it’s worth ending up with a broken heart, because Nicholas tastes fucking addicting, and you found every way to make good use out of that obsession.
The possession of knowing he’s off limits, yet here he was, eagerly kissing you numb.
#nicholas chavez#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez x y/n#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas chavez x you#charlie mayhew#grotesquerie#father charlie mayhew
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…i lost the tag limit war
the reader changing the subject the instant she feels seen by minho is such a subtle but valuable hint that i think says a lot abt the type of person she is, that moment really stood out to me! i know i literally just said this but right down to every minute detail, you've characterized both lino and the reader so masterfully it has to be the most enjoyable aspect of this story for me...and on top of that i just love how you write their conversations so much, they’re both such lil nerds…my intellectually stimulating smarties debating w each other even now 🥰 it all feels so comfortable and natural and draws me into their relationship w such ease!
their discussion abt colors is hands down one of my favorite scenes in all of invisible thread!! it's such an oddly heartwarming conversation and that perfect, out-of-the-box way of thinking that’s just so undeniably minho...it almost reminds me of synesthesia how he describes feelings through color! "the very essence of our humanity" "the orange that paints the sky when the sun is about to dip into the ocean" the way you embodied each colors through emotions/experiences was so wonderfully done, i understood each one instantly like it was a picture being visualized before my eyes. it makes it even more touching that minho and the reader come to understand each other on a whole new level through that way of communicating their moods <3 and for some reason when he gives the example "i feel like that moss green that no one seems to pay attention to" that really tugged at my heartstrings ㅠ it almost feels like he isnt just giving a hypothetical there, like he's giving a small glimpse into his true feelings without saying it outright. maybe he feels invisible deep down, too
them falling asleep together on facetime was so soft and tender ㅠㅠ leave it to lino to ramble abt sous-vide as a bedtime story and complain abt getting SCAMMED lmao the way that is actually smth he would say 😭 "he closes his eyes, thinking that maybe he just found the silence you talked about earlier on" this line got me so good ): it seems at first that he's bringing the reader peace but she's bringing him peace in her own way as well...her feelings abt his eyes changing from fear to longing is such a lovely detail and HER COMPLIMENTING THEM!!! HIS STUNNED REACTION </3 "this is the first genuine compliment he's ever received" oh my god does my moss green theory actually have any merit.....does he really feel invisible to the world too...do not do this to me sahar ㅠㅠ but the way he thinks such lovely, adoring things abt the reader in that moment but instead of voicing them he whines abt being hungry....so endearing and so HIM i cant get enough of how youve written minho here ur singlehandedly reminding me why he is allegedly the love of my life
the kintsugi mention made my heart leap in my chest!!! "when you look at that vase, you know it was once broken, but it doesn't take away from its beauty" please...that sentence in itself is so moving when you apply it to the context of what the reader has been through her whole life, not just a single crack but repeated breakages. and for it to come from someone like minho; it feels like exactly what the reader needs to hear to truly begin to heal herself...he doesn't coddle her but is still so gentle, putting things into perspective like nobody else can w his unique worldview and mental strength ㅠㅠ and i think i just lost my mind realizing that this scene loops right back to the clay comparison you drew at the beginning of the story oh my GOD....the reader is like a clay pot molded by her mother, broken in places and repaired over and over to create smth still damaged but just as valuable...and lino is the gold filling in the cracks....sahar you are INSANE for this one im kissing ur brain and tucking it gently into bed
the scene w minho in the rain 😞 i was not prepared to see my meow meow upset...but i love the way you wrote it so much. how oddly quiet he is, even to the point where he's not commenting in class or teasing her, and that's the key detail that lets the reader know smth's off w him...i also love that nothing in particular caused his low mood. it's such a human quality, and he allows himself to be human and feel his feelings until they pass. "he knew his emotions would regulate themselves" i cant explain why this line stood out to me so much i really love it, i think it's just such a shining example of minho's mindset...not necessarily optimistic, but practical enough to not be completely swamped by the darkness either. it creates such an interesting contrast to the reader's personality to see how they both handle their emotions, w her pushing hers away and him letting them run their course. but the fact that he typically tries to retreat into himself until he feels better, yet strangely enough, he doesn't mind it as much as he'd expect when the reader catches him in a vulnerable state...my babies ㅠ i also really loved the part where he uses her shower and thinks abt the scent of her soap as he washes up, it's so so sweet n intimate i'm such a sucker for things like that ): there are so many small things minho notices abt her like it's the most natural thing in the world, they're both so attentive of one another
"you were both just trying to make it through the day" and "he knew he wasn't invisible. at least not to you" were critical hits to my heart...it feels like a breakthrough in their relationship—the first time the reader truly truly sees minho, all sides of him, and she accepts them all without question <3
the gradual progression of their friendship is so gratifying to read bc of how organically you made it all flow together!! i adore the entire sequence that shows us how they start to care for each other more and more…the casual intimacy of the reader applying her lip tint to his lips (and him not studying for his quiz on purpose 😭💗 come ON) lino worrying abt her eating enough, the reader tying his bangs out of his eyes, complimenting him so matter-of-factly, and him BLUSHING ALL OVER THE PLACE it’s so over for me x2 they are so tender in their actions even when they tease each other nonstop. it all leads up so perfectly to the point in the story where minho finds himself being drawn to her apartment without even realizing it when he doesn't feel well. the subtle shift from him initially trying to shut her out bc he's so used to managing his bad days on his own, to him eventually leaning in to her kindness and seeking her company instead...and the way she just understands what he needs immediately, allows him to sit in silence and simply exist in peace next to her. describing his mood as "too much of every color" really struck a chord w me as well...i'm just so so in love w the running theme of colors you included throughout this story, it's such a brilliant way to put emotions into words <3
the lil parallels here n there from the beginning of their relationship until now are so cute as well; how lino makes breakfast for her the first time and leaves before she wakes up, but this time, he promises to stay and eat with her...to not be invisible ㅠㅠ i think what's making me craziest of all is how they're both so hyperaware of each other's touch. like when their shoulders brushed while sharing the reader's umbrella, how the reader suddenly finds it difficult to concentrate on her book when lino holds her wrist as she shields him from the sunlight...and little does she know it's the exact same for him too, like when she rested her head on his thigh and all he could focus on was the sensation of her hair tickling him 😭 they are so enamored w each other and have become so tangled up in each other little by little...they don't even fully realize it yet but they've made a permanent place in each other's lives now
"you were already on the other side, you realize. his eyes pulled you in and you were stuck in there, swimming in a pool of honey" oh my GOD!!! ㅠㅠㅠㅠ her feelings abt minho's eyes changing from fear, to longing, to at last the comfort of getting to see the other side of those black holes...this line hit me like a truck it might be my favorite from the entire fic ㅠ i have a feeling i'll be saying that abt many more lines to come when you verbalize things in the most poetic ways imaginable heheh but this one truly got me so good, the delicacy in which you describe minho makes the reader's growing affection for him all the more heart-fluttering~
minho hesitating to wipe her tears )): the way he's so careful abt touching her in any unwarranted way bc he can sense that she shies away from skinship is so devastatingly sweet...and then him pinching her right after to make her stop crying NEVERMIND I CANT STAND HIM ACTUALLY. but the way he consoles her is so endearing and so so minho...very simple and sincere, he knows her well enough to immediately figure out the best way to take her mind off of the issue instead of dwelling on it. "you didn't care what shape he was in, you just needed him to be in it" i've already pointed out so many lines oh my god i'm so sorry but each one is like another arrow through my heart ㅠㅠ i feel like this sentence is such a perfect testament to the reader and lino's relationship; they've both seen each other at their best and worst and it doesn't change anything abt their feelings, they care for each other unconditionally 😞 also the reader being afraid of physical touch bc she craves it is SO heartbreaking but so raw...i think it aligns so well w her past bc she's so used to either being invisible, or only being perceived negatively when she is perceived. it makes perfect sense how terrifying she'd find it to bare herself to minho when her whole life she's been deprived of genuine affection...you've really done such a phenomenal job of characterizing both her and lino i cant say it enough!
now...the entire final scene...where do i even begin...i had a feeling the climax of the story was going to hurt but not like this ㅠㅠ the reader's inner turmoil as she debates reaching out to her mother again, that conflicting mix of hating her yet somehow still missing her...it's such an inexplicable and confusing feeling for ppl who have experienced that kind of neglect but so so real and you captured it so candidly. it really added a whole new layer to the reader's humanity, for her to be unable to completely let go of their relationship no matter how painful it is to hold on to...for her to cling to the hope that maybe she could be worth smth to her mother if she did everything right ): i genuinely had the exact same reaction as her when you revealed that her mother had deleted her phone number...it felt precisely like a bucket of ice cold water to the head. the reader trying to pinpoint the exact moment in time where her mother stopped loving her was what really crushed me most...what a heart-wrenching sentence ㅠㅠ the fact that she's tried to hard to find solace in other places and people and tried to grow into her own person after entering university, but even so, those marks left from her childhood are still there...a vase full of cracks 💔 as much as it hurts to read, i love that you included this bump in the road of her healing journey and made a point to highlight that healing isn't linear
and minho 😭😭😭😭😭 the way he handled the reader's outburst is so touching...the way he's immediately able to recognize that her feelings are misplaced and smth much deeper is going on beyond what he sees on the surface...using that astuteness to put his own feelings to the side in the moment is so minho. this entire scene is just blossoming with powerful lines i can't forget, but i was especially affected by the reader saying "i'd need you and i can't afford to need someone else." it's such a tragic summarization of her in my opinion...how she went her whole life being unable to rely on anyone but herself, so the moment she's faced w minho, all her instincts say to reject it no matter how badly she craves that intimacy ㅠㅠ and lino saying "i'll be by your side for as long as you'll have me" is such a beautiful declaration of love...it's so selfless and unconditional, and it fits so seamlessly w how their relationship progressed throughout the story, how they were by each other's sides at their best and worst moments.
"the world doesn't stop because we need it to" "we'll make it stop" and then describing their kiss as like "seeing color for the first time"...i'm going to melt into an inconsolable puddle over all these callbacks to their first date together don't think i didn't catch the ways you weaved those in throughout this final scene..you made it feel so complete, like things have come full circle. i already mentioned how much i loved their conversation abt describing colors to the blind, so for their first kiss to be written that way, like the reader was blind to the true color of the world until she met minho....i am going to be ill that is so intensely romantic sahar ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
"he was the invisible thread stitching your wounds back together." another heartaching line ): what a way to personify the quiet love minho provides...it may be invisible to everyone else, but not to her
i'm so sorry for my horrifically long comment haha but i'm just thrilled i was finally able to read this beautiful fic 😞 just as i'd predicted, you're a phenomenal writer!! the amount of love and effort you poured into it went above and beyond, i hope you're so proud of yourself for creating such a stunning work!! it's very clear to me how every interaction you wrote between minho and the reader was so carefully thought out and so meaningful to the overarching theme of the story, it's all done with care and purpose and there's smth special to be found in each line of dialogue! it's like you carefully stacked more and more on to the foundation of their bond until before we know it, there's an entire home there that they built steadily together. that kind of subtle progression is my absolute favorite thing. i'm also so blown away by how the reader's mother, though never actually making an appearance until the final scene, has such an heavy impact over the narrative. it's like she's a ghost haunting the reader's every action, every decision, every inner thought...i find it so impressive how you were able to incorporate that effect into the story without us even needing to meet the mother! and i must've mentioned countless lines that stuck w me throughout the fic, but just know that there are countless more i could've pointed out as well...you truly write so so beautifully. so poetic and emotive, but also not so flowery that it becomes hard to follow, i'm truly floored by your ability to achieve that perfect balance! on top of the story being so immersive in itself, your writing style made invisible thread such a genuine delight to read <3
this feels like the kind of story i'll be thinking abt for a long time after finishing it, the kind to revisit over n over bc i'm sure there are so many lil easter eggs you included that i may have missed! i'm positive i'll come back to it many times in the future hehe...but i can't wait to read more of your writing as well! ^_^
Invisible thread- one
pairing : minho x reader
genre : university au, academic rivals to lovers (rivals not enemies because they respect each other), slow burn, fluff, angst.
warnings : reader has a very bad relationship with her mother, insecurities, talk about murder but as a joke, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.
summary : Your studies were your lifeline for as long as you can remember. What happens when Minho comes into your life and rips it away from you?
word count : 20k
Author's note : I've been working on this fic on and off for the past two months, so if you do enjoy reading, please let me know. asks, comments, reblogs i read them all and they truly make me the happiest <3 (also i based this off my own college experience, where we study two terms and there is one person on top of the class every semester)
part two
You have always been first in your class.
Not because you particularly enjoyed studying. You simply felt that your worth was solely tied to the marks on your papers.
You never wanted to crumble under the pressure of studies, to hole yourself up in your room for an assignment you won’t remember in a month. But achieving good grades was the only way for you to feel seen; to make someone stop in their tracks and acknowledge you.
A simple “good job” that you preserved inside your mind, as a reminder that you did exist to other people. Considering that the majority of your life was spent in silence.
Your mom put a roof above your head and food on your table, but she never asked about your day, nor did she seem to care. You felt as though you were no more important to her than the tapestry hanging on your wall.
At times, you imagined that if you stood close enough to that tapestry, you could merge with it as one. The intricate embroidery would wrap around you and draw you in. And your mother wouldn’t notice. She would regard you with the same indifference she showed towards that textile- a mere decoration, at times a nuisance when she had to dust it.
You always ate your dinner alone. When you scraped your knee, you tended to the wound by yourself. No one attended your childhood musicals, and you patted your back when you cracked an egg without dropping a shell into the bowl.
You’ve come to learn since your young age that all your milestones, both small and significant, would be celebrated alone.
On the rare times your mother would acknowledge your presence, she’d unleash a flurry of criticism your way as if she was eagerly awaiting the opportunity to strike you down. She'd toss crude comments over her shoulder as easily as a casual hello, leaving you feeling battered and bruised in her wake.
You felt as if you were shoreline rocks, and your mother was the ocean. You never knew if she would be like a gentle tide, barely brushing against you, or an enraged storm, mercilessly crashing down on your being. And you weren't sure which one was worse: to be invisible or to be seen and despised.
That’s why you grew up plagued with self-doubt. You made friends throughout your school years but you never allowed them to get close enough to really see you -you feared that they might glimpse the very thing your mother seemed to despise in you.
Throughout your childhood, you were like soft clay in your mother's hands- pliable, and easy to mold. And she indented you, everywhere, carved in edges and dips where they should not have been ones. Handled you roughly when you should have been treated with care. And as the years went by, you hardened- much like clay, but her touch remained imprinted upon you. It was difficult at times to discern who you were and who she made you to be.
You tried to start anew when you went away to university; to rewire your brain into believing that you were enough- you exist and you shouldn't prove to anyone that you deserved to be alive. But her words haunted you, they were like skeletons in your closet- but the closet was you. You could never part from them.
So, you fell back into the same pattern of seeking good grades and congratulatory words from your professors. Every A+ you got infused you with a momentary sense of worthiness.
But unlike in high school, you weren't always the best. Your competition came in the form of a single man named Minho, who seemed to excel in every class you shared.
Minho was mostly quiet, but whenever he spoke, you found that his words carried weight. Your professors consistently agreed with his points, and you envied the confidence he exuded. You wondered what it must feel like to be so sure of oneself.
It wasn't until a month into the year that you had your first interaction with Minho. You were in your Constitutional Law class when your professor Kim brought up the notion of ‘Separation of Powers’. You were arguing that judges shouldn’t be included in the writings of law when you heard a scoff from the row behind you. You turned around, raising a brow at the culprit, "Is there something you’d like to say?" you asked.
And in response, Minho smiled lazily, an air of smugness surrounding him, "I just don’t agree." The professor urged him to explain himself, so he leaned back into his chair, eyeing you. "Judges are the ones who practice the law every day, and sometimes they find that none of the written texts fit their case. If they get involved in lawmaking, they can help address those gaps or uncertainties."
"Who's to say that those judges aren’t biased or politically motivated? They’ll end up writing laws to fit their own preferences," you pointed out, raising an eyebrow at him. "We elect judges to interpret and apply laws, not make them. If they start writing laws too, we'll be violating the separation of powers between the legislative and judicial branches. That's what keeps our entire system from crumbling."
Minho rested his chin on his hand, tapping his cheek thoughtfully with his index finger. "Aren’t legislators prone to biases too? Your point doesn’t stand then," he challenged, tilting his head to the side, "and judges can participate without going overboard. They can provide input on proposed laws without actually drafting them. That way, we ensure that the laws are crafted with a clear understanding of how they'll be put into practice."
"If your main concern is to ensure that the laws are impartial, we have people who work as consulting experts whose job is exactly that," you flashed him an innocent smile, firing back. "Also, wouldn’t these overstepping branches put the judges in a position to be perceived in a bad light? Is that what you want?"
Before Minho could respond, Mr. Kim intervened, putting an end to your debate, "Let's save this energy for your essays and see who can convince me more."
You gave a quick nod, swiveling in your seat without a backward glance. However, you could sense Minho’s gaze penetrating through your back- as if he was trying to read your most intimate thoughts.
That was the first thing you noticed about Minho when he walked over to you. His eyes were brown, not a special color by any means. But they held a certain depth to them that seemed to draw you in like a black hole. You weren't sure what you would find on the other side, nor did you have any desire to find out.
He outstretched his hands towards you, stopping you in your tracks. "Minho," he introduced and your hand met his in a firm grip. The second thing you noticed about him was the coldness of his hand, as it wrapped tightly around your palm.
Suddenly you were taken back to when you built a snowman for the first and last time. You were just seven and the ice was freezing, numbing your fingers as you worked. Your mother never told you that you should’ve worn mittens, or a thick jacket to fight off the cold when she saw you walking out of the house. The memory of your cold hands and the horrible illness that followed still left a bitter taste in your mouth, like an unripe fruit. With a jolt you dropped his hand, forcefully pulling yourself away from that memory.
"Yn," you said back, and he smiled to himself, repeating your name slowly, each syllable dripping from his tongue.
"We'll see who'll write the best essay, right?" he asked, clearly challenging you. There was a gleam of excitement in his eyes that reminded you of a child gazing up at cotton candy.
That was the third thing you noticed about Minho; how expressive his eyes were. They moved with his every word, punctuating them.
He was infuriating but also amusing. You've never had a clear competitor in your life. Or maybe you had, but you didn't notice them. You were always so reclined on yourself, trying to survive the day, you didn't pay enough attention to your surroundings.
"You want to compete with me?" You asked, and he smirked, leaning against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. "What? Scared you’d lose?"
"Please." You rolled your eyes at his taunting, "Don’t come crying when I win."
"We’ll see about that!" He shouted after you as you walked ahead, leaving him behind.
This essay was insignificant. A simple way for your professor to assess your knowledge and work approach. And yet, you found yourself staying up all night to complete it. There was no way you were going to let Minho take this one thing from you.
Who were you if not the best in your studies? You were deathly afraid to find out.
Later on that week, the professor handed you your grade back, 98%. You turned around to show Minho your mark, and so did he. You surpassed him, only by mere percents. "I told you so," you smiled cheekily and he pouted, holding a hand to his heart as if your grade wounded him.
"I'll beat you next time", he mouthed and you chuckled, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."
✹✹✹
The first time you studied with Minho was in a cat café near campus, called Limbo, about two weeks after your initial interaction. You stumbled upon it serendipitously while strolling through your university town. You couldn’t study at home, since you were easily distracted in there, and the eerie silence of libraries often left you unsettled.
Limbo, however, offered the perfect middle-ground: it was calm, not overly crowded, and the buzzing of the coffee machine blended harmoniously with the occasional mewls of cats, which helped you concentrate better.
You were sitting in a secluded corner table at the café's back, a sleeping black cat comfortably nestled in your lap when you sensed a shadow loom over you. You glanced up quickly to find Minho. He was clad in a grey hoodie sporting a bunny holding up its middle finger. You had to bite your cheek to suppress a grin at his clothing attire.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"You know for someone smart you sure ask stupid questions," you remarked, already looking down at the papers scattered in front of you.
He huffed, taking a seat at the table right next to yours, "I can’t believe that of all places you’ve found this café to study in."
"My apologies, am I disturbing you, your highness?" You asked sarcastically, and in retort, Minho mimicked your words in a high-pitched tone. You threw the pillow right next to you at his head, and Minho swiftly ducked, easily avoiding it. He chuckled loudly while you glared at his laughing figure. That was the end of your conversation that day.
From that moment forward, it became a routine for the two of you to study at Limbo, every Saturday, without fault. You didn’t explicitly plan on it, but it seemed that both of you found it comforting to work there. And you could also tell that, unlike you, it wasn’t Minho’s first time coming to Limbo. He was friends with the owner, a sweet middle-aged man who offered you pastries whenever you stayed there until closing. The cats seemed to know him too, they mewled at his feet whenever he entered and he always greeted them with a soft smile on his face.
You didn’t talk much in those unofficial study sessions, the both of you were consumed by your own work. But you’d steal quick glances at him every now and then, the sight of him so concentrated only fueled you to work harder.
Admittedly, your competition left you feeling anxious for days on end at first. Each time Minho came out on top, you’d found yourself losing your grip. Your studies have been the one anchor keeping you afloat your entire life, and now, Minho was ripping it carelessly away from you. So, you resented him- you were human after all.
But then, you realized that Minho’s taunting wasn’t malicious. He wasn’t competing with you to hurt you, he was doing it for amusement only.
You've slowly started to learn that despite his relentless teasing, Minho had a gentle aura surrounding him. Glimpses of which occasionally emerged like rays of sunshine piercing through a thick cloud cover.
True, he chuckled when you accidentally bumped your head on the table while retrieving a fallen pen. Yet, you also noticed how he began to cover the table's corners with his hand whenever you bent down. He swiftly retracted his hand, seemingly believing you didn't notice, but you did.
During class presentations, he deliberately prepared challenging questions for you, urging you to study twice as hard to ensure no stone was left unturned. Yet, whenever the professor praised your performance, Minho offered a subtle thumbs-up as a gesture of support. He winked at you each time he got the right answer and you didn’t. However, when he noticed you struggling with a particular subject, he scooted closer and patiently explained it to you. He got up before you could thank him, swatting his arm in the air as if he didn’t do anything of significance.
To show your appreciation, you bought him a drink that day he helped you—a simple gesture that sparked an ongoing game of "win a bet, get free food". You bet on who would receive the first mark on an assignment or who would finish an essay first- anything to further deepen the competition between you.
That's how you came to know that he loved puddings, among other things.
Curiously, as the months went by, your mind began to retain these little details about him. How his eyelashes fluttered like butterfly wings when he blinked repeatedly during your conversations. How he glanced at the ceiling when lost in deep thought as if he was waiting for the answers to descend from the sky. Or how his lips take on the shape of an "o" while thinking of his response during one of your many debates. But you supposed that it was natural to take notice of such things when you spend countless Saturday afternoons with the same person.
You were still studying for someone else, in the sense that each time you stayed up working, it was solely to prove your worth to Minho. But at least unlike your mother, Minho's words never haunted you at night.
✹✹✹
Just like that, four months have gone by since you joined your university as a law major. It was nearing finals week and you were preparing it at Limbo. Minho was naturally present too, at his usual table right next to yours.
On the last weekend before the beginning of your finals, you were head-deep into your Criminal Law documents when Minho abruptly got up from his seat and settled in the chair in front of you.
"Yn," he whispers and you glance at him, "What?"
"I have an idea."
"Keep it to yourself," you grin sarcastically, only for him to pick up your spoon and move it around in a threatening manner.
"Are you trying to scare me with a spoon?" you chuckle in disbelief.
"Anything can be a weapon if you use enough force."
"Okay… that was creepy. What do you want?"
"The end of the first term is coming up. So, to celebrate our little rivalry-"
"It's not a rivalry if I’m always winning," you cut him off.
"Yeah, that’s why I have a fridge full of pudding."
"But-"
"Anyways, how about the top of the class takes the other out for dinner? A fancy one." He suggests, his gaze fixed on you.
"No, thank you. I already see you enough in classes."
"Didn’t think you wouldn’t up for a bet. Guess I was wrong," he remarks, a cheeky smile drawn on his lips. He knows you couldn’t possibly say no now.
"Fine," you roll your eyes at his proud expression. "Prepare your wallet."
"Mm, sure," he responds, before rising from his seat once more.
That day, you both lost track of time as you studied in Limbo until it closed down. When you finally stepped outside, stretching your tired limbs, you were met with the sight of falling snowflakes.
"Nooo, go away. I don't want to watch the first snow with you," Minho whines, referring to the superstition that watching the first snowfall with someone could spark love between the two of you.
"As if I could ever love you," you laugh at the ridiculous idea, "that’d just be signing a death warrant."
You resume walking towards your apartment when suddenly something freezing and hard hits your back with enough force to make you stagger. Turning around slowly, you find Minho erupting in laughter, his body filled with uncontainable joy. He’s jumping and clapping excitedly, and for a fleeting moment, you can’t decide if your shock was from the impact or from how beautiful happiness looks on him.
Snapping out of your daze, you swiftly retaliate by scooping up a handful of snow and hurling it at him. "Now you are cold too!" you shout, while he’s still laughing uncontrollably.
Thus begins an impromptu snowball fight between the two of you. Unsurprisingly, you’re being competitive in this too, trying your best to strike each other before the other could recover. But Minho draws nearer to you, and in your desperation to win, you fall to the ground when he throws a snowball at your chest, gasping as if you’re in pain.
"Shit, did I hurt you?" Minho quickly kneels in front of you, concern evident in his voice. It surprises you for a moment- how worried he seems at the prospect of causing you pain.
But you shake that thought off and push him down to the ground, a proud smile on your face. In his fall, Minho instinctively reaches for you to steady himself, which ends up with you landing on top of him. Your faces are mere inches apart, and a soft gasp escapes your mouth at your sudden proximity.
Minho has a mole on his nose. You’ve never noticed that before.
You quickly push yourself off of him, not enjoying being this close to somebody. "Why did you drag me down with you?" you grumble, shaking off the snow from your hair.
"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes," he cheekily stuck out his tongue, and you respond with the same childlike gesture before the both of you burst into loud laughter. The sound reverberates through your entire being, and it echoes in your mind long after the two of you go your separate ways.
As you lay in bed that night, ready to drift off to sleep, a quiet realization dawns on you. This was the first time you've touched snow in since your childhood incident.
That unpleasant memory didn't cross your mind once. Instead, all you thought about was Minho’s infectious laughter, and the surprising warmth it stirred within you.
✹✹✹
You came first in your grade this semester.
True to his words, Minho texted you the name of the restaurant where you’d both meet to celebrate your win. As you got ready for your outing, you couldn’t help the nerves creeping up on you. Studying in silence next to Minho was something, going to a friendly dinner with him was another. You feared it would be too awkward and Minho would regret ever proposing such a thing.
So, as you sit in the refined BBQ restaurant waiting for him, you fidget with your hands, counting down to three in your head in an attempt to steady your breathing.
You were clearly not accustomed to existing with Minho outside of the confines of your studies.
"Did you wait long?" Minho asks as he finally pulls the chair in front of you and you shake your head no.
"Are you nervous?" he chuckles at your lack of words, and you frown, suddenly feeling defensive. "Why would I be nervous? This isn't a date."
"Who said anything about a date?" he smirks and you grab your fork threateningly, pointing it at him, "Don't say anything stupid or I will walk out."
"And stand me up on our first date? That's too mean.” He pouts, a hand on his heart and you can’t help but giggle at his antics. You were ridiculous for being nervous. This was Minho, the one person you’ve talked to the most since the start of this year.
"What will you have?" he asks and you smile mischievously.
"Most expensive thing on the menu."
"So you are only here for the food."
"Well, it's certainly not for your company," you wink and he chuckles, his bunny teeth on full display.
"And here I thought we were going to be civil with each other."
"When are we ever not?" you gasp dramatically and Minho swats your hand with the menu. "Just order whatever," you finally answer," I trust your food judgment."
"I could poison you, you know?" He smiles proudly and you roll your eyes at him, "Can’t you be normal, for once?"
Minho calls over the waiter and places your orders. The food is quick to arrive and Minho starts to grill up the meat, while you cut the Kimchi into smaller pieces.
"Here," he puts the perfectly cooked rib onto your plate first and you smile at him, "Thank you."
"Eat up, don’t wait for me," he tells you and you nod, tasting the flavorful meat.
"Wow this is really good," you compliment and he smirks proudly at your words, "I know."
Minho places four other ribs for you, without eating one himself. You start to feel bad, so you grab his chopsticks, pick up the meat, and move it toward his mouth, "Open up."
"What?" He asks confused and you wave the food in front of his face, "Come on, you haven’t eaten anything."
Minho parts his lips slowly, and you feed the tender meat to him, before eating one yourself. You notice how his cheeks are slightly tinted pink now, and you account it to the intense heat of the grill.
"Oh, let's not talk about studies, my brain can't take another debate with you," you tell Minho in between bites and he grins at you, a gleam of excitement in his eyes. "If you were to dispose of a body, how would you do it?"
"I think our next celebration will be in an asylum." you smile too sweetly at him and he stares at you pointedly, "Please, I know you've already thought about it."
"Fine. Probably in a deserted land. What about you?"
"I'd cut their bodies and then bury each part in a different forest. In a different city."
His answer came too quickly, and you pause in your tracks, "Should I be worried?"
"You are too cute to kill." His tone is sarcastic and you make a show of gushing at his compliment, clasping both of your hands in front of your heart, "Growing soft on me, Minho?"
"Yeah, I’m basically sooo in love with you," he replies with a smirk and you roll your eyes at him, an amused smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.
"What's your favorite color?" you finally ask, changing the subject.
"Purple."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"You'll buy me purple flowers?" He coos at you and you shake your head as you grab the utensil from his hand, to grill the meat your turn.
"No. I'll paint your tombstone purple," you grin and he laughs loudly, eyes squinted close, and you can't find it in you to care that the people next to you are staring.
"What's yours?" he asks when he calms down and you shrug, "Navy blue, I think."
"You do remind me of navy blue."
"And why is that?"
"When you look at it, at first glance, it looks like black. But the more you stare at it, the more layers you uncover. Just like you. There’s more to you than what meets the eye."
You grab your glass of water, gulping it down to hide the way your eyes just glossed over. You suddenly felt bare in front of Minho. How did he know?
You clear your throat, racking your brain for a way to move on from that question. "If you were to describe colors to a blind person, how would you do it?"
"Mm," he looks up at the ceiling as he mulls over your question, "I’d say that yellow is the feeling of eating ice cream on a sunny day, in an amusement park. Your fingers are sticky but your cheeks ache from how much you smiled that day."
"Yellow is carefree and happy."
"Exact. Now your turn, red."
"I’d say that... Red is the thrill that rushes through your veins when you do something you are passionate about, you know? It’s what makes our blood boil and our heart race. The very essence of our humanity."
Minho smiles softly at your words, seemingly agreeing with your description. "Don’t you think it would be easier if we simply asked, what color are you feeling today, instead of a 'How are you'?" He questions and you tilt your head to the side, "What do you mean?"
"Well, you could say, I feel like that moss green that no one seems to pay attention to. Or, I feel bright yellow as if the world's energy is stored inside me."
"And right now, how do you feel?"
"I feel orange, not the ugly orange." He precises and you chuckle, "the orange that paints the sky when the sun is about to dip into the ocean."
"A bittersweet orange, an ending that instantly strings along a new beginning. And you don't have time to rest."
Minho places his chin on his palm, eyeing you curiously, "Is that what you want? To rest?"
"Yeah." You admit quietly, "Don't you sometimes wish that the world would just stop, for a few seconds? Just like in a song, right before the beat drops. That silence, I wish I could live inside of it."
"I do too."
You both hold each other’s gaze for a while after that. You felt as if he was keeping you captive with his brown eyes, and he was slowly peeling each of your layers, in silence, as you were peeling his. For the first time, you think that you and he are similar, more than on a studies level. There was a part of his soul that understood yours perfectly. And it felt good, to be understood, for once.
"If you lived in this silence, what would you be doing?" he asks, breaking the serene quiet that surrounded you.
"I’d open a café that had books. And there'd be a little space, where people could paint. Or do pottery. And I’d have cats in there too." You reply excitedly, hands moving around in the air, you end up missing the way Minho gazes fondly at you before his smile morphs into a smirk.
"Please tell me you won't be cooking."
"Shut up. What about you?"
"I’d be a dancer."
"You dance?!" you whisper-shout and he frowns at the surprised look on your face.
"Yeah. Why are you looking at me like this?"
"I just never expected it. Can I-"
"No." he cuts you off immediately and you pout.
"I didn't even finish."
"I knew what you were going to say."
"Please, I won't make a sound I’d just watch. Pinky promise.” He grabs your now outstretched pinky with the tip of his index and thumb, lowering it down.
"I’d only grant you this wish when you’re on your deathbed."
"Bold of you to assume you'd still be around."
"Death might be around the corner."
"Stop it."
"Close your door tonight."
"You are deranged."
Minho chuckles at the crestfallen look on your face, "I’ll think about it."
Just like that, three hours of talking have gone by, the conversation flowing easily between the two of you. And when you finally leave the restaurant, Minho grabs you a cab and you wave him off with a smile. You couldn't lie to yourself, you had a really good time with him. You liked to think that Minho was no longer just a rival, but a possible friend.
But now that you were laying in your bed, you couldn’t help but curse Minho in your brain. His repetitive talk about murder made you paranoid, and now every creak in your apartment made you feel as if death was really right around the corner.
You decide to text him, figuring that if you couldn’t sleep because of him, you could at least disturb him for a bit.
Yn : I hate you I'm paranoid from your murder talk
Minho : Poor baby
Yn : Is that you at my door?
Suddenly your phone rings, the shrill sound echoing around your apartment. It was a Facetime call from Minho. You panic for a few seconds, before remembering that you just spent your entire night with him. A call can’t be more daunting than a real-life meeting.
"See, I’m in my home," he tells you as soon as you pick up and you laugh.
"It's pitch black, I can't see."
"Just say you miss my face." You can’t see him but you can clearly hear the proud grin in his voice.
"What's there to miss?"
"Are you actually scared?" Minho asks gently and you clear your throat, feeling ridiculous all of the sudden.
"There is a tree right outside my window and it keeps rustling from the wind," you grumble and Minho laughs at you.
"Trees can't hurt you."
"No shit Sherlock."
"Close your eyes.” He instructs and you frown at his words.
"Why?"
"I’ll tell you a story."
"Fine.” You close your eyes tentatively. It’s quiet for a few seconds and you feel yourself relax slightly.
"So, I bought a sous-vide machine and-"
"Is your bedtime story going to be about meat?"
"Yes?” He replies as if it’s an evidence, “Now be quiet." You pretend to zip your mouth and Minho faintly giggles, before resuming his story. "So, I was saying. I bought one and I wanted to experience different kinds of meats. So, I bought a 30-day aged one and a 58-day aged one and I cooked them both."
"What did you use?" you ask quietly.
"Just garlic, and thyme, I didn't want to overpower the taste of meat. Anyways I cooked them, but I didn't have plastic bags so I had to go out and buy them."
"Mm," you hum in acknowledgment. You could feel your nerves slowly dissipate with Minho's every word. His story might be ridiculous but his honey-coated voice compensated for it, wrapping around you like a protective cocoon.
"And I found pudding there so I had to buy it."
"Obviously," you whisper. Sleep was knocking on your door, but paradoxically you tried to fight it off. You wanted to hear the rest of Minho’s story.
"And I went back home and I cooked it, then I plated it nicely with vegetables that I sauteed with butter and garlic. Just mushrooms and potatoes, nothing too fancy. Again, my main focus was the meat. But there wasn't a difference between the two. They tasted the same for me, for some reason. And I didn't like this because the aged one was very expensive. Maybe I was scammed. Honestly, that butcher looked kind of suspicio..."
Your quiet snores make Minho pause in his tracks, and he laughs quietly. You did end up falling asleep. He can't see your face clearly, but he can see its outline and he stares at you for a while. You look peaceful.
He goes to hang up but his finger hovers over the 'end call' button. You aren't talking, but your hums are quiet enough that they fill up the space around him. It calms him down, and he lets his head fall on the pillow, his phone lying beside him.
He closes his eyes, thinking that maybe he just found the silence you talked about earlier on.
You just made his world stop.
✹✹✹
The second semester had just started and with it the return of frat parties. You were excited at the prospect of going to one with your new friend Mina. You met her in the library when you both went to grab the same book. You quickly apologized but she waved you off, handing you the book with a huge smile on her face. She was bubbly, like a human serotonin boost, and she started gushing about how much she loved the author. You saw her again in the campus cafeteria, and she skipped towards you as if you've both known each other your entire life. That was the start of your friendship.
You walk into the frat house, both your arms encircling each other. The flashing lights of the party blind you for a moment, and it takes you a while to adjust to the loud music bouncing off of the walls. But you like it, it was like a shield from the outside world and its problems.
You feel yourself letting loose in the crowd, swaying your hips to the music. Mina spins you around and you laugh, dancing with no care in the world. It was just the both of you in that instant.
Mina spots Jeongin in the crowd, a friend of hers that she had an immense crush on. You couldn’t blame her- he was very attractive; his easy smirk and his blonde tousled hair earned him lots of appreciative looks from the people around him. But when his eyes locked with Mina’s, you found that his face morphed into a beautiful smile, that made his dimples look on full display, as if it was only reserved for her.
“Go get your man!” You shout in her ears, so she’d be able to hear you.
“What are you talking about?” She yells back, but you could see the nervous smile on her face.
“He likes you! Go talk to him!”
“I don’t want to leave you alone. We came together!” She clasps your hand in hers and you smile touched by her kind spirit.
“I’ll be fine. I’ll go to the kitchen to get some drinks. Go have fun!”
“You are sure?” She asks, her eyes darting between you and Jeongin, who was still looking at her, and her only.
“Yes! Go!” You say, gently pushing her away. Mina jogs up to Jeongin who greets her with a side hug. He quickly glances at you and you shoot him a thumbs-up, to which he grins. You loved playing Cupid.
With that, you decide to head to the kitchen to grab a drink. You pick a beer from the fridge, double-checking if the can is closed before opening it.
You lean on the countertop, sipping on your drink while you watch the crowd, humming along each time a song you knew played. You enjoyed watching people dance freely from afar, with no apparent care in the world.
You feel someone stand next to you and you brace yourself, getting ready to tell the person off if they decide to bother you. You didn’t have the energy for mindless flirting. But then, you smell the cologne that has lingered around you for the past term- Minho. You haven't seen him since your dinner. That was a month ago.
"Fancy seeing you here," he greets as he leans on the counter right next to you, his eyes fixated on the mingling bodies.
You turn around to face him, faking an outraged gasp, "Are you following me?"
"Mmm. You look nice", he compliments and you smile cheekily, "I know."
"Won't tell me I look nice too?" he smirks, leaning closer to your face. "Someone didn’t get enough compliments tonight?" You pout, placing a hand on your heart in mock concern.
"I did, but I want to hear it from you. You’re the only sensible person in this room."
"You look nice. Now leave me alone."
"Come on, I know you can do better than that", he jokes and you roll your eyes, muttering “You’re annoying”, under your breath.
Still, you comply, placing your arms on top of the counter and leaning your head on them to get a better look at him. He does the same, smiling, and you both stare at each other for a while after that.
The strobing lights dance on Minho’s face, casting enticing shadows on him. You've always known he was a beautiful man; you've looked into his eyes far too many times in your heated conversations. But this time was different, there was no cheeky smirk on his face nor a furrow in his eyebrows. He was simply looking at you, and it made a pool of warmth huddle in your belly. You feel yourself relax under his gaze, everything around you seemingly melts away.
You weren’t wrong when you thought that his eyes were like a black hole, pulling you in. But this time, you realize that you didn’t mind knowing what was on the other side. On the contrary, you longed for it.
"I like your eyes right now. They remind me of the night sky. Black, with tiny little stars littered in them," you finally say.
Minho is taken aback by your words, he wasn't expecting you to compliment him, let alone to tell him something so special. He can feel his cheeks burn red at your words, feel his heart hammering in his chest. He's afraid you can hear it too.
He doesn't know what to say, so instead he clears his throat, plastering a smirk on his face, "I heard better." He hasn't. This is the first genuine compliment he's ever gotten.
"Oh, fuck off," you laugh and he joins you. The music was loud and yet the only sound his ear seemed to pick up was your laugh.
"Are you here alone?" He asks, and you shake your head no, "Came with my friend Mina."
"Did she leave you by yourself?" He frowns and you feel yourself warm up at his worried tone. "I told her to go talk to Jeongin."
"Next time, don’t stay alone."
“Fine, Dad.” You chastise and he stares pointedly at you, "I’m serious, yn."
You take another swing of the beer before turning your body fully towards Minho. After a few beats of silence, you finally ask a question that has been on your mind for a while. "Why do you say my name this way?"
"What way?" He questions and you shrug, "Slowly. People used to always rush it but you don’t."
"Well, it’s a pretty name. It deserves to be pronounced as a whole."
You beam at his words; you smile so brightly it makes his heart skip a beat. This is the first time you’ve grinned this widely at him, no hand in front of your mouth as if to hide it. He did notice how you were a reserved person outside of class, as if you were afraid of taking up too much place. But he could tell you were slowly unraveling, growing bolder with each passing month. He wanted to tell you that if people like you spoke more, the world would be a far better place.
But he couldn't bring himself to say all of this, so he forced those bubbling words down his throat. "I’m hungry," he whines instead and you laugh at his pout. "I'm kind of craving a greasy pizza."
"Should we go buy it? You can tell Mina to come so we can walk her back."
"I’ll ask her."
You shoot Mina a text, asking her where she was and telling her about your plan. She replies that she’s with Jeongin who just offered to take her home, so you could leave without her.
"We can go." You tell him and he nods. Minho shrugs his leather jacket off, gently placing it on your shoulders. His warmth engulfs you and you sink further into it. His arm hovers around your shoulder not touching you as he leads you out of the party. He has never touched your body, you note, it's like he was everywhere and nowhere at once.
You both walk to an open parlor near the frat house, and you order a Margarita pizza to share. You sit down on a nearby bench to eat it- the night breeze too liberating to pass up on.
As you both finish eating, a cat with white and orange stripes all over her body approaches the both of you cautiously, and you pat her head softly. "Aren't you the cutest thing ever?" you coo and Minho chuckles as he scratches the cat’s chin. She purrs at his touch appreciatively, and you smile at the soft look on his face.
"Never knew you to be this gentle", you giggle and Minho shushes you, "Let's not do this in front of the cat."
"Why are you acting as if we are a divorced couple and she’s our child."
"Easy, yn. You make it sound as if you want me to marry you."
"Now you're just projecting," you chastise and he laughs, eliciting giggles from you. He had a melodic laugh, you noticed, and you always felt a surge of pride whenever you made him close his eyes and tip his head from laughter. You felt as if it's a sight only you can see.
"I have three cats", he says softly and you gasp, "Really? We spent all of our Sundays in a cat café and this is when you tell me?"
"I only tell my friends."
"So we're friends now?" You gush and he rolls his eyes at you, "I take it back."
"What’s their names?" You ask curiously and his eyes soften at your question- you could easily tell he loved them dearly.
"Soongie, Doongie, and Dori. They are rescues."
"That’s very sweet of you Minho."
"Most of my scars come from them though," he chuckles but you sober up at his words, quietly scratching the cat's ears.
"What’s on your mind?" He asks and you glance at him. It was scary how well he’s starting to know you. But it was also nice; to be known is to exist, after all.
"I just... Sometimes I wish that memories would leave physical scars on you. Because at least then, you could treat them, put a band-aid on, and watch them fade away day by day. Because when the scars are emotional, you can’t treat them, you know? And someday someone brings up a name or a place, or you smell a certain scent, and suddenly they reopen as if no time has gone by at all.”
Minho stays silent for a while, mulling over your words. You don't mind, you weren't expecting him to comfort you. You just needed to free those words from the mental prison you've held them in for so long.
"Do you know Kintsugi?" he finally asks and you shake your head no.
"It's a Japanese art. They put back together broken vases with molten gold. It represents strength despite our flaws."
"That sounds nice," you sigh wistfully and he nods.
"It is. When you look at that vase, you know that it was once broken, but it doesn't take away from its beauty, on the contrary, it adds to it. Scars, whether they are emotional or physical are there for a reason. They remind us of how we pushed through whatever life threw at us."
"Am I supposed to be grateful I survived this?" You chuckle lowly, as your hand scratches the cat’s ear. Your fingers brush against Minho’s and you hesitate for a few seconds before moving them away.
"I wouldn't say grateful for what you went through," he speaks once again, "but grateful to yourself. At the end of the day, the reason why you're still here is you. You put yourself back together," he then bumps his elbow into your side softly, "and hey, even if your scars reopen there will come a time when they wouldn’t anymore. Sometimes, it takes a while to be okay again."
This was Minho’s way of telling you that someday it wouldn’t hurt anymore. That someday you’d be okay. And you needed to hear that. You needed to hear someone else other than yourself tell you that.
"Thank you, Minho, I needed that", you smile at him and he grins back at you before his smile turns to a smirk. "I charge 15 dollars for the hour by the way."
"Oh, come on! You didn't even say something revolutionary." You are lying. Minho's words will echo in your mind long after this night- a beacon of light to hold onto.
"Oh, so now it’s no longer ‘I needed that’. Tsk," he jokes a smirk still plastered on his face.
"Okay, Mr. Therapist. I’ll pay for your coffee tomorrow, sounds good?"
"I should have you as my client more often," he winks and you laugh, head tipped back. You were grateful more than ever for his teasing, loving how it wasn’t awkward between you after your discussion.
"You are a good listener." You tell him as you stand up, dusting your pants.
"I’m good at everything," he grins cheekily at you and you roll your eyes playfully, "And here I thought we were having a moment."
You both start walking side by side toward your home when Minho speaks again. His tone is quiet as if he wasn’t sure he wanted you to hear him. "About earlier, your compliment, I mean. I suppose I didn't thank you. So, thank you," he scratches the tip of his ears and you shrug nonchalantly. "It's the truth. You might get on my ass but that doesn't change the fact you are a pretty man."
He doesn’t respond and you tug at the sleeve of his shirt playfully, "You won't tell me I’m pretty too?"
"But then I’d be lying."
"Asshole."
"Pretty," he replies without missing a beat.
You laugh loudly, hand tightly clutching your stomach and he joins you. There is a newfound lightness in your steps now. Unbeknownst to him, Minho just managed to lift a small weight off your shoulders, allowing you a brief moment of respite.
"This is me," you say when you arrive in front of your apartment block, "Thank you for walking me home."
"Of course. Don't dream of me."
"Idiot," you laugh waving him off and he does the same. "Oh, and text me when you get home safely!" you shout before heading inside.
For the second time this night, Minho is blushing profusely at your words. He sighs to himself, waiting patiently until a light turns on in your place to leave.
✹✹✹
It’s been two months since the start of the new term. You still went to Limbo, every Saturday with Minho- even when you didn’t need to study.
Sometimes you’d just grab a book and you’d both read, a cat lazily lounging at your feet. You started sitting at the same table too; you figured it was easier since one of you always pays for the other. When you have a bet, but also randomly, when you notice that the other person is feeling down and you want to cheer them up without saying anything.
That's why you bought three bubble teas for Minho in a row. He was quieter these days, you noticed. He didn’t talk to you nor did he retort back in class. It was the first time you’ve seen him this way. As if he was a simple shell of the person he usually is.
You were walking out of your Communications Strategies class, which Minho weirdly didn’t come to when you realized that it was pouring rain. You smile lightly to yourself, grateful since you thought about picking up an umbrella this morning.
As you walk through campus, everyone around you running to take shelter, you spot someone sitting on a bench, completely drenched from the rain. Their head is hung low and you frown to yourself. They would surely get a cold if they stay there.
But then the person raises their head and you quickly realize it's Minho. You jog up to him instinctively, standing in front of him and shielding him from the rain with your umbrella.
He looks up at you and you feel your heart clench. His eyes are void of emotion and he stares blankly at you. "Are you okay?" you ask and he blinks at your words, as if his brain hadn't yet registered that you were there.
"Yeah."
"You don't look like it", you tilt your head to the side and he looks down again. You have to strain to hear his next words, muffled by the rain and his mumbling, "I don't want to talk, yn."
You decide to put away your umbrella and sit down next to him on the bench. The rain falls rapidly on both of you, and you feel yourself grow cold from it.
"What are you doing?" He questions, turning to the side to look at you.
"Enjoying the rain. It is kind of stupid that we have umbrellas, right?"
"You'll catch a cold."
"I mean we always complain about the drought and then when it rains, we hide from it. But it's really beautiful."
"Stop, I don't want you to get sick."
"Well, neither do I. Let's go eat some soup. My treat."
"Yn, I don’t-"
"I thought you were smart enough to know I won't take no for an answer."
"But I-" you cut him off again. "Also, I’m doing this for me because when you order for two, they give you a lot of side dishes. Now come on."
You stand up and he looks doubtfully at you, before following suit. You open up the umbrella again and hold it over both of your heads. He has to huddle close to you, and your shoulders brush against each other. Once, twice. Not that you're keeping count. But your body is always hyper-aware of Minho’s proximity. You also notice how he silently moves from your right to your left, this way he's the one walking right next to the speeding cars. Your hold on the umbrella tightens. You were still not used to those small attentions of his.
You arrive in front of your apartment block and he hesitates. "Come up, I won't murder you I promise." You joke and he smiles lightly back at your words. Progress.
He enters your dorm and you can see him eying his surroundings. You know that if it was another time, he would have teased you about something- anything. But he stays quiet, and you find yourself missing the sound of his voice.
"Would you like to shower?" You offer and he nods, "Please."
You lead him to your bathroom and show him where the washing machine is. "Put your clothes in there for a quick wash and dry. You can shower meanwhile."
He nods again as you hand him a towel. "I'll be outside."
You quickly leave the bathroom to place the soup orders, and Minho discards his wet clothes, walking into your shower. The water is piping hot, and he leans his forehead on the cold tiles. He doesn’t move for the first ten minutes, too tired at the prospect of lifting his limbs.
Nothing particular happened. But he’d go through days when he’d quiet down because everything around him was too much. The feel of his clothes against his skin, and the sun streaming through his curtains. But it always passes. Minho was a realistic man and he knew that his emotions would regulate themselves. That’s why he didn’t like appearing vulnerable in front of other people.
But for some reason, he didn’t mind lowering his guard with you. He knew you wouldn’t judge.
He sighs, grabbing your cherry-scented shampoo and pouring it into his hands. He can clearly smell you now. The scent of your hair that always tickles his nose, whenever you are sitting close to him. Your body wash is next and he wonders if this is how your skin smells, like vanilla and jasmine, and something entirely you.
Forty minutes later, Minho finally steps out of the shower. His clothes are clean and he quickly puts them on. He dries his hair with the towel as he walks out of your bathroom towards the living room.
He finds you sitting on the ground, in front of a heater that looks close to giving up. He makes a mental note of giving you the one he has since he doesn't really use it. You changed out of your clothes too, and you are now wearing a pair of pajamas with little bunnies sewn into it. The sight almost manages to make him smile.
"Still cold?" you question when you notice him standing behind you, unmoving, and he shakes his head no.
"Good, the soup is here." You say cheerfully, pointing at the steaming bowls sitting on your table. Minho hums in reply and you stand up, grabbing the towel from his hands to place it on the drying rack.
You come back, a soft green blanket in your hands. You sit on the couch and pat the spot beside you. Minho sits next to you, and you lay the blanket on both of your laps, before handing him his soup.
You start the show you’ve been last watching, as you both eat in silence, your legs crisscrossed. You make some comments throughout the episodes. You figured that it was a safe territory, to talk about something as mundane as this. He didn't reply but you didn't mind. You weren't here to have a conversation with him. You just wanted to distract him.
You realize at that moment that Minho always looked so put together to you. But he had problems of his own too. That much was obvious. It made you feel closer to him, in a sense. You were both just trying to make it through the day.
Two hours later, you get up to grab a book, handing Minho the remote to put on a show of his own. You curl in a ball in the corner, reading where you left off last night.
"Can you... Can you read out loud?" Minho speaks for the first time in a while and you look at him. His eyes are closed, his head resting against your couch.
"Sure."
You start to read, and Minho further sinks into the couch. He feels at home here. Because the blanket is soft and the light is dim enough to not hurt his eyes. Or it could be that he smells like you, a scent so comforting he wants to bury himself in it. Or maybe it's your voice that floats through the air, slowly clouding Minho’s every sense. He feels as if he could see the words you were pronouncing dancing in front of his eyes. You enunciated each syllable clearly, making sure that no sound was forgotten.
As Minho gently drifted to sleep, he felt as if he was part of the words you read out loud. He felt as if you were treating him with the same care, making sure that he knew he wasn't invisible. At least not to you.
When you wake up the next morning, Minho is gone. And his place beside you on the couch is empty. He made you breakfast, scrambled eggs, and freshly pressed orange juice. And right next to it you find a note, "Thank you for reading to me."
✹✹✹
Minho didn't believe in having a lot of friends. He was content with the two people he had, Chan and Changbin. The latter was his high school friend, he skipped a year and ended up being in the same class as Minho. They didn't talk at first until the day Changbin dropped a book on Minho's foot. The brooding man started apologizing profusely, and that was the start of their friendship. They've kept in touch since.
Chan was his roommate at university. It's not that he particularly wanted to befriend him, but Chan was a social butterfly and he quickly managed to pull Minho into his friendly trap. He annoys Minho the most, but in an endearing way. And although Chan is older, Minho still strangely developed a soft spot for him.
And he supposes he has you too now. At first, you weren’t friends, rivals at most. He enjoyed reeling you up and having you frown at his words in your heated debates. He also liked talking to you, because your ideas were interesting and you always gave him a new fresh perceptive to see things.
That’s how he strictly saw you as, an intelligent human who he liked to debate with.
But then he started to look forward to meeting up with you at Limbo. He no longer minded the fact that you took his self-assigned table, from his high school days. And he laughed more freely with you, enjoying how you always had a witty retort sitting at the tip of your tongue.
That’s how he started to notice things that friends most definitely notice. How you have a charm bracelet you always fidget with whenever you are nervous. How you stray away from physical touch. How you scratch your eyebrow when you are deep in thought.
But also, how you seem to have an obsession with cherries. Your cherry pendant, your cherry-scented shampoo, and your cherry-tainted lips. A friend would most certainly think that your lips are like red wine-stained glass.
He remembers one of the many times when you were at Limbo, and he saw you reapply your lip tint, or so you called it. You caught him looking and he swiftly averted his gaze, but it wasn't quick enough. Suddenly you were in front of him, a tiny red bottle in hand.
"Let me apply it to you," you smiled and he pushed your head away with his pointer finger. "No."
"Please," you pouted and he couldn't help but find you adorable. You sometimes reminded him of a small kitten. But he didn’t dare to call you by that nickname.
"Never."
"If I score more than you in our environmental assignment then I will do it."
"Fine." he huffed so that you'd leave him alone.
Minho didn't study for that assignment. He blamed it on a headache, not that it's ever stopped him before. And two weeks later you were in front of him, eyebrows scrunched in concentration. You applied the lip tint gently on his plump lips, carefully tracing over his cupid bow.
Your face was mere inches away from his and he noticed how you were wearing a gloss today, for change. It was shimmering under the lights and he usually didn't like glittery things, but he couldn't take his eyes off your lips.
"All done!" you clapped excitedly, snapping him out of his haze. You then shove your phone camera into his face so he'd look at the results.
"You should be a model. Your face is perfectly sculpted," you comment nonchalantly, before sitting back in your seat.
“I know.” He replies confidently, but his hand kept fiddling with the tip of his now pink ears. He couldn't concentrate for the rest of the night.
You were his friend because he always worried if you were eating enough. That’s why he urged you to grab a bite in the convenience store near Limbo, whenever you finished up your studying late.
This was one of the many times you sat on the minuscule table outside, hot ramen bowls in front of the both of you. Minho huffed in annoyance between each bite, his bangs were getting longer, disturbing him when he leaned down to slurp his noodles.
“Here,” you stand up from your place, a hair tie in your hands.
“What are you doing?” He questions as you stand behind him. You don’t reply, silently grabbing his hair and putting it up in a tiny ponytail, this way it wouldn’t get in his eyes anymore.
“Voila,” you sit back down, resuming your eating. Minho was grateful for the dimly lit street because his entire face was burning up. Your fingers in his hair were gentle and he wondered how it would feel if you ran your fingers through it.
This was something friends think about, right?
"I’ll cut my hair tomorrow," he clears his throat. He didn't know why he told you. You certainly weren't interested in his hair endeavors.
"What?!" you yell, "Don't. Your hair is beautiful why would you cut it?"
"Because it's getting longer."
"But it suits you."
Minho also noticed how you always threw compliments his way. Not in a flirtatious way, but in a genuine one. He couldn't help but wonder what made you this way. Did you so freely give love to others because you knew how it felt to not receive it?
"I’ll still cut it."
Minho returned home; his hair still clipped back in a ponytail. Chan eyed him weirdly but he shut him off with a glare. The elastic remained at his bedside since.
He didn't cut his hair.
The moment Minho started to consider you a close friend, was when you invited him over to watch your show. You didn’t force him to open up that night, and he appreciated it, more than he let on.
That's how a week later, he finds himself walking towards your dorm again. The thoughts in his head got too much, and Chan was immersed in his makeshift studio, which meant he won't be free for the next four hours, minimum.
He didn't plan on going to you. It was late at night and you were probably asleep, but his feet naturally led him to the direction of your place.
He knocks softly on your door. He wasn't even sure if he wanted you to open. What would you think of him showing up at eleven pm? He should have thought this thro-
"Minho?" you call out, and he startles a bit, his feet already inching away from the door.
"This was a bad idea, I'm sorry," he starts to retract back but you grab the hem of his jacket to stop him. "Do you... Do you want to watch my show with me?" you ask, a soft smile on your face and he nods tentatively.
"Okay, come in," you open the door wider and Minho follows you inside. The look in his eyes reminds you of the day you found him sitting under the rain. You didn't like it, you wanted him to find his spark back, his usual demeanor. He wasn't deserving of anything but happiness.
"I’ve started a new show, this one's a bit more romantic, so don't go around imagining me as the main character," you tease and he scoffs at your words, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
He doesn't reply, but you don't mind. There was this secret agreement between the two of you, you would talk and he would listen. He needed the distraction, and you needed the company. Sometimes the line between alone and lonely blurs, and on days like these, Minho’s presence fills the void inside.
You comment on the scenes and Minho hums in reply, you watch three episodes in a row, and your eyes are getting drowsy, so you close them.
"Minho," you call out gently and he turns his head towards you.
"Yeah?"
"What color are you feeling tonight?" You ask, referencing to what he told you on your dinner celebration. That felt like an eternity ago.
"Black." You stay silent and Minho fidgets with his hands before speaking once again. "I feel a lot at the same time, too much of every color. That's why- that's why I said black."
"How can I help you feel yellow?"
"You already do." His admission came softly and it made your breath hitch in your throat. You wanted to open your eyes and look at him, but you figured it will only make him close off even more.
“Okay. Will you stay for breakfast?”, you whisper. You were very sleepy, the soft chatter of the TV and your hushed conversation were like a lullaby to you.
"You want me to?" he asks, and he sounds so vulnerable you can't find it in you to say anything but the truth.
"I do," you admit, and that's the last thing you remember before sleeping.
Your head falls near Minho’s lap on the couch, your hair tickling his exposed thigh. Minho shouldn’t feel this way, he thinks. He’s sitting on the leather couch and his feet are touching the cold floor and yet all he can feel is three strands of your hair tickling him.
He glances at you, at your now parted lips and your relaxed eyebrows. His hand hovers over your hair, but then he curls it into a tight fist. What is he doing? He thinks to himself as he drags an angry hand through his face. He sighs, before standing up and grabbing the blanket you had on the opposing chair. He gently lays it on your body before sitting next to you once again.
You told him to stay for breakfast. He’ll stay.
✹✹✹
2 months later
"Yn!" Minho shouts in your ear as he plops down next to you. You startle, dropping the book you were reading.
"I hate you," you grumble, picking up your book and he smiles cheekily at you, "No you don't."
You were laying on the grass of your campus garden, in between two classes, trying to kill the time. It was April so the weather was perfect for lying under the warm sunrays. You loved spring, it always held within it the promise of a better time.
"What are you doing?"
"I was reading before you got here and started to annoy me."
"Don't mind me. Do your thing."
"And what are you doing?"
"Enjoying the sun."
"You couldn't find any other place to do so?"
"Nope."
"You're annoying" You try to sound mad but the smile on your face betrays you. You started looking forward to any moment Minho randomly shows up throughout your day. Sometimes it's late at night when he's suddenly craving sushi and he drags you with him because if he's not studying then you shouldn't be too.
Sometimes it's during the day, when he takes you to a new garden where he found the quote "cutest cats in existence". Not as cute as his cats, of course.
Sometimes it's late afternoon when he just knocks on your door, and he's there with Chan-his roommate who sometimes joins your study sessions- snacks in their hands. You've learned that what Minho doesn't say in words, he compensates by spending time with you. And you didn't tell him but waiting for these moments has been the joy of your life for the past few weeks.
It made you feel excited- like a child waiting up for Christmas morning to discover what gifts they are receiving.
So, you resume reading, as Minho is lying next to you. You could smell his pinewood cologne and you wished you could pour his essence into a bottle and carry it with you everywhere.
You notice how the sun is hitting Minho’s eyes directly, and how his eyebrows are scrunched up at the aggression. So, you grab your book with your left hand, and hover your right one over his eyes, shielding him from the sun. Minho's breath tickles your hand and you can feel goosebumps rising through your skin.
It's as if every physical proximity with Minho made you feel hyperaware of every part of your body, and how he can lighten it with a simple breath from his part. It made you wonder what it would feel to have his hands on your skin.
As if Minho heard your thoughts, he gently wraps his thumb and index finger around your wrist, steadying your hand in place so it wouldn't strain your arm. You suddenly don't know what page you are in, too overwhelmed by the feeling of his hands on you.
His touch is very featherlight and you are afraid to move, to break the bubble you are suddenly pulled into.
"Read to me," he tells you and you gulp. You never understood why Minho enjoyed it when you read to him.
"Like my voice that much?" you tease, in an attempt to hide how affected you are. You were so close to him; it would be easy to slide down and lay your head on his chest. You wondered how his heartbeat would sound. Was it steady, or racing just like your own?
"Yeah, it's calming," he replies sincerely, catching you off guard. You didn't expect him to compliment you, and now you are racking your brain for a retort, anything to make you breathe again.
"Growing soft on me Minho?" you say, the same question you asked on your first dinner out. The first time you truly saw him, the first time you felt as if you were two pieces of the same puzzle, just waiting for someone to connect the both of you.
He doesn't reply. And you sit there, patiently waiting. His first answer came so easily, so naturally, because he was being sarcastic, "I’m basically in love with you", he told you back then. So why can't he say it again?
"Yes, I am." He finally replies and you feel your breath catch in your throat. You try to account it for your brain misguiding you. It wasn't Minho speaking, it was the rustling of the leaves and the singing of the birds that you just heard. But it was him, and now his eyes are open and he's looking at you. Your hand is still shielding his eyes and his fingers are still wrapped around your wrist. And you are suddenly feeling. You are feeling too much. You don't know what to do with those feelings cursing through your veins and you can't face them. Because they are scaring you.
"I'll just... Yeah, I’ll just read," you say quietly, too flustered by his intense gaze. You were already on the other side, you realize. His eyes pulled you in and you were stuck in there, swimming in a pool of honey.
"Out loud," he says and you chuckle, "Fine, Min." The nickname slips out of your tongue naturally and you quickly snap your head towards Minho to see if he noticed.
His eyes are closed, and there is a slight smile on his face, and you can swear that he just repeated the nickname to himself softly.
✹✹✹
You've been so sick these past days, you barely managed to go to class. Your head throbbed with pain and your entire body felt as if someone thoroughly boxed it.
You were grateful that Minho reeled down his teasing because you had no energy to retort back. He may have noticed how sick you felt and truthfully it would be hard not to. You stayed silent throughout the day, and you looked so pale, you avoided looking at the mirror altogether.
Though Minho didn't talk to you, he still silently placed water bottles and some of your favorite snacks on your desk. You'd down the water, grateful for the relief it brought your sore throat. And when you didn't touch the food, he'd immediately text you 'Eat up', followed by a simple 'Please'. Having someone else care for your well-being felt weird, but it warmed your heart beyond what words could describe.
You only came today to pass your Criminal Law mid-term, but your head hurt so badly that you weren't even sure what you wrote on your paper. The words blurred in front of your eyes and you almost slept in the middle of your exam, exhaustion threatening to take over your body.
You fucked up, badly. You haven't screwed up this much in years.
You thought that you were slowly getting better since Minho surpassing you no longer sparked an unworthy feeling within you. But apparently, you were wrong to believe so. Self-doubt crept up within you once again, and the ugly feelings it stirred slowly clawed at your throat, making it hard for you to breathe.
It was one test, and yet it reeled you back ages ago.
Tears threaten to spill out of your eyes as you hurriedly walk out of your class. You make a beeline for the library, figuring that it will be mostly empty by now.
You pull out a chair and sit on it, lowering your head down so no one will see you. Your tears are falling rapidly and you hit your thigh repeatedly. You hated how weak you felt in that instant.
"Yn?", someone calls out and you curse internally. You don't have to look up to see who it is, Minho's voice has become a part of you- you could easily recognize it between a thousand mingling sounds.
You don't want him to see you, especially not like this, weak and vulnerable and on the verge of breaking down. So you quickly slip a pair of sunglasses on your eyes, before raising your head to look at him. "Hm?"
"Are you okay?" he asks, his tone so soft it makes you want to cry ten times fold. You hated it, hated how attentive he was to you. You didn't deserve it.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm just here to pick a book," you lie, abruptly standing up and heading toward the rows behind you. You desperately needed to get away from him.
You pause in front of a random shelf and then you feel Minho standing behind you. You grab a random book and he peeks above your shoulder to see it, "Economics? You hate this subject."
"Why are you following me?" you turn around attempting your best to sound mad. When in reality, your heart was brimming with hurt. You wished you could get away from your body and seep into someone's soul to feel what it's like to love yourself.
"You aren't okay," he asserts and you hate it. You hate that he sounds so sure of himself. Was it that noticeable? Were you not fooling anyone?
"I am," your voice is shaking but you are adamant about contradicting him. You couldn't let him see you. What if he runs?
"Then..." he steps forward and you take a step back until your back is against the shelf. His left arm cages your body, but his right one stays by his side. He is leaving you an opening, you realize, an outing in case you feel uncomfortable. Against all odds, you don't.
"Why are you hiding from me?" he asks, gently taking your sunglasses off your face, and placing them on the top of your head.
You don't look up at him, and he hooks his finger underneath your chin, gently raising your head. When your tear-stained eyes meet his, he frowns deeply, "Why are you crying?"
"it's nothing."
"Yn..."
"I fucked up, okay?! That was the worst test I’ve ever given in years." The tears start to flow at your words and you wipe them away aggressively. You despised crying in front of people.
Minho raises his hand to wipe the tears away for you but he quickly retracts it- you probably wouldn't want him to touch your face. It was enough that he had grabbed your wrist a couple of weeks before this. He quickly racks his brain for something to do, because the sight of your tears is making his heart ache in a way he hasn't felt before. It's as if he's feeling your emotions deep within him.
In desperation, Minho pinches your arm and you yelp, startled. "What was that for?" you whisper-shout and he raises his hands in defense, "I didn't know what else to do."
"So, you thought about pinching me?" you chuckle in bewilderment and he scratches the top of his hair sheepishly.
"I mean, it worked. Look, you stopped crying," he points out raising his brows at you proudly and you shake your head at him.
"Remind me to never cry in front of you again."
Minho grins at you before his face turns serious once again. "Look, you are the smartest person I know," he pauses, adding with a cheeky smirk, "After me of course." Which makes you giggle against your will.
"Shut up", you lightly punch his chest and he smiles. "One test doesn't define you. You always work very hard. I wouldn't lie to you."
"Mm," you hum and he frowns at your lack of enthusiasm, but still, he doesn't comment.
"No more crying," he wiggles his finger in front of your face and you roll your eyes, wiping the rest of your tears away. "Fine. Pretend as if this never happened."
"What are you talking about?" he asks as if confused, and you can't help the smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. It's as if Minho knows exactly what to say to cheer you up.
"Come with me," he tells you, gently pulling you by the sleeve of your hoodie.
"Where to?"
"I’m craving ice cream."
"And why do you need me?"
"You're craving ice cream too," he says in a matter-of-a-fact tone.
"Only if you're paying," you add with a giggle and he whines loudly, "I feel so so used around you."
True to his words, Minho takes you to the nearest ice cream parlor. It's a 20 minutes walk away and you are grateful for the distance because it helps you clear your head a bit.
Minho lets you pick whatever flavors you want, and when you hesitate between two of them, he tells the cashier to put them both into your cup. This is how you end up with a container of 5 scoops of ice cream. You insisted you'd share, and Minho begrudgingly agreed when you threatened to walk out and leave him.
You then walk to a deserted alley and sit on the sidewalk. You didn't want to be around people right now, and thankfully, Minho understood without you having to say a word.
You munch silently on your ice cream and Minho does the same, the both of you lost in your thoughts. You naturally take turns holding the freezing container, so it wouldn't numb the fingers of one of you.
When you're done, Minho stands up to throw it away in a nearby trashcan before sitting back again next to you.
Suddenly you feel him gently tapping your hand. You look down to find that you've curled your fingers into a tight fist, so much that there are crescent indents visible on your palm now.
"Let's play thumb war," he tells you and you giggle at his words. You never knew what to expect from him.
Still, as your fingers hold each other, and your thumb circles one another, you feel yourself calm down slightly. You play a couple of rounds, and you know he's going easy on you, allowing you to quickly trap his thumb down.
No one has gone to such lengths to cheer you up, and you suddenly feel so grateful for Minho’s presence in your life. You didn't care in what shape he was in, you just needed him to be in it. Which in turn makes you think how bad it'd hurt if he ever leaves.
You don't want Minho to leave. You've gotten so attached to him that the thought of not talking to him again makes your heart race in panic.
Minho notices the change in your expression, suddenly melancholic once again. Your hand has gone limp in his, the thumb war long forgotten by you.
He curses under his breath, before looking at you. "If I dance for you, will you quit being so sad?"
"Dance for me?" you repeat incredulously and he nods, "Yes. I’ll show you an upcoming choreography just... Please smile?"
"Okay," you giggle, plastering a wide grin on your face.
"Not like that you look scary."
"Get to dancing!" you clap excitedly and he rolls his eyes, standing up and looking through his phone for a particular music.
"Oh and no comment!" he looks pointedly at you, and you nod, pretending to zip your mouth and throwing away the key.
'Finesse' by Bruno Mars starts playing and you are left mesmerized by the way Minho dances. It's short but it leaves you yearning to see more. His body moves smoothly, hitting each beat effortlessly. He made it look as if dancing was second nature to him, that it came as easily to him as breathing.
You were speechless, rightfully so. You wished you could build a world where all Minho did was dance.
"That was-" you start when he stops the music but he cuts you off instantly, "I said no comment."
"But--" Minho places his finger on your mouth to silence you, seemingly not thinking too much of it. But the feel of his finger on your lips makes you dizzy. Minho quickly takes off his hand, a blush evidently creeping up his neck.
"Let's just go home," he sighs in defeat and you laugh despite the intense feelings cursing through you.
You don't know if you are imagining it but you swear that your pinkies brush against each other on your walk back. As if there was this magnetic force pulling them together. You wondered what would happen if you just linked your pinky with his. Would he grab you by the hand or will he let go of you entirely?
You were too much of a coward to find out. You were scared of messing up anything with him. So, you'd settle for this. Stolen glances and random outings. You just need him in your life.
"Thank you for today," you tell Minho once you arrive and he shrugs, as what he did wasn't a big deal.
"No, I mean it. Thank you," you repeat, trying your best to convey how sincere you were being. You take in a deep breath, before grabbing his hand and squeezing it, for a fleeting second, before dropping it again.
Minho is sure that your hand will now be imprinted into his, that the lines tracing over your palm will merge with his as one. Your touch was barely there but it had electrocuted him. He wondered to himself if his body would be able to handle more from you. But he'd gladly burn in your fires for the sake of holding you. And he'd wait, unwaveringly, as time stretches alongside the two of you. He'd wait as long as it takes for you.
"Yn, I..." he stammers, taking a step closer to you. His scent engulfs you and you shamefully close your eyes, inhaling it. When you open them again, you find Minho glancing down at your lips. You gulp, dazzled by his proximity.
"You have a mole on your nose," you suddenly speak up and his eyes snap back to yours, an adorable confusion drawn on his features.
"I like that mole," you continue and you wish you could dig yourself a hole and bury yourself in it.
"Thank you," he chuckles and you nod vigorously, "You're welcome."
"Can I ask you something?" he says and your breath hitches in your throat. "Sure."
"You don't like it when people touch you, right?"
"Yeah."
"Can I ask why?"
You want to confide in him, to tell him that it’s because you long for it, you crave it so badly. That this need has woven itself into the very fabric of your being. An ache so raw that it scares you at times. You’ve never known what it feels like to be held- it was uncharted territory to you.
"Isn't everyone scared of the unknown?" you settle on saying, and he nods in understanding. Of course, he understood. No one knows you as well as him.
"It's okay. I just wanted to know if I ever overstepped my boundaries."
"You didn't," you reply instantly.
"Good. You'll tell me if I ever do, right?"
"I will."
"Okay."
"Um. I'll get going," you point behind you and Minho smiles at you, waving you off.
You walk for a few steps before coming back again quickly. You then grab Minho’s hand, gently squeezing it like before, "You are an amazing dancer."
And then you drop it, running back towards your apartment block without waiting for a reply.
Minho stays frozen in his place. You think he's an amazing dancer. And you held his hand for five seconds.
That's four seconds more than the first time.
Progress.
✹✹✹
You haven't gotten out of your house for the past three days.
Everything crashed around you rapidly, it made you realize that the ground you once stood on was only an illusion, elusive and fleeting.
You were doing well; you were getting better. But then Monday came and you went out for a walk in the park near you. As you sat there, you saw a little girl playing on the swings, delightful joy dancing across her features. But then she fell to the ground and you instinctively stood up to help her, only to notice her mother running to her.
The world stilled around you as you clearly saw it- how the little girl clung to her mother's embrace, her embodiment of hope and love. You never had that. You don’t even know what perfume your mother used because she never allowed you to get that close to her.
You stood up abruptly, quickly heading back to your apartment block. As you ran up the stairs, you ended up bumping into one of your neighbors. You were quick to apologize but they ignored you, and the feeling of being invisible came back to haunt you ten times fold.
You knew you shouldn’t have done it, you knew you should have deleted your mother’s number when she sent you away to university without a backward glance, relieved at the thought of you getting a full-ride scholarship and not needing her anymore. But you didn’t, you kept her number in the hopes that she’d call. On your birthday, on holidays, on a random Thursday to tell you that she did remember who you are.
With trembling hands, tears welling in your eyes, you dialed your mother’s number for the first time in a year. You didn’t know what you were expecting. Maybe she regrets it. Maybe she misses you. Maybe she didn’t find the courage to mend her wrongdoings and that's why she never called.
"Hello?" her voice rang through your apartment. Goosebumps erupted on your arms and your hold on the phone tightened. Her voice took you back to memories you thought you had buried. How you spent countless nights yearning to hear the sound of her voice, how you regretted it once she spoke to attack you.
You hate her. You miss her. You want to hang up. You need to ask if she's doing okay.
“Who is this?” Her voice was devoid of recognition, freezing you in your tracks. You felt as if a bucket of ice was thrown over your head, dousing the flame of hope that flickered in your heart.
She deleted your number.
You quickly hung up, placing your phone down on the table. The tears refused to fall. It was as if your body had long anticipated this outcome, leaving only your wounded soul to bear the pain.
Healing isn't linear, you've read about it in books and heard it in shows and movies. One step back doesn't mean that your entire progress is gone. You know this, you've memorized those sentences. So why do you not believe them? Why does it feel as if you can never be free from the past? Why does it feel as if you’ll always seek something out of her?
Those questions roamed your mind for the past three days, making you too tired at the prospect of lifting your limbs, let alone leaving your apartment. You sent your two friends a text, telling them that you're sick so they wouldn't worry. Not that you believed they would. Nothing made sense to you anymore.
You laid on your bed in utter silence- a tense quiet that was disrupted on the third day by someone knocking on your door. You didn't know who was there; you just hoped that they'd leave you alone.
To your surprise, you open the door to find Minho, some notes in his right hand and a coffee in his left. He sends an easy smile your way. You don't smile back.
"What do you want?" your voice is cold, but Minho doesn't bristle. A cheeky smile settles on his lips as he leans on your doorway.
"You didn't come to class for the past three days, so I brought you the notes. So, you wouldn't think our competition is unfair."
"Competition," you chuckle coldly, heading inside your apartment, and he follows suit. You start to pace around furiously, and Minho looks at you worriedly. "Competition?" you repeat, the word dripping off your tongue like venom. You turn around, marching towards Minho and standing a few inches from him. "You know what? Fuck you and your competition!"
"Yn-"
"Did it ever occur to you that I never wanted a part in this competition? That all I wanted was to be left alone?" you say, growing louder as you jab your finger into his chest repeatedly. "I never wanted any of this! Do you understand? I never wanted to be this way," you shout angrily in his face.
The worried look in Minho’s eyes snaps you out of your haze. You realize that you are being utterly ridiculous lashing out at Minho, when the one person you are mad at is yourself.
Your anger quickly deflates, leaving in its trail an agonizing sadness. It's so sudden that it knocks the breath out of you, and you clutch your chest as if it could soothe the burn in your heart. Suddenly you are twelve years old again, crying in your room because you feel like no one has ever loved you.
But this time you aren't alone. Minho is in front of you, and his eyebrows are so furrowed you want to lean forward to ease the tension between them. His eyebrows, you liked his eyebrows, they were arched, and they framed his eyes nicely, and his eyes are brown and so big, and they always look at you softly and why is it getting so hard to breathe-
"Did I do something to you? Whatever it is I’m sorry," Minho panics, cutting off your frantic train of thought. But now, the weight of guilt adds to your overwhelming emotions. You shouldn't have lashed out at him, he brought you coffee and you yelled at him. Maybe your mom was right after all.
You shake your head left and right furiously, your words coming out in hiccups. Since when did you start crying? "It isn't- it isn't you."
"Then let me help you-", he steps forward, hand outstretched, but you take three hurried steps back and wrap your hands around yourself protectively. "Don’t. Please, don't."
"Why are you pushing me away?" his tone isn't accusatory. You've learned time and time again that Minho wouldn't do anything that made you feel uncomfortable.
"You won't understand."
"Then make me."
"Because I’m afraid!" the words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them. "I’m afraid if you ever hug me, I wouldn't be able to go back to hugging myself. I'd need you and I can't afford to need someone else."
You regret the words as soon as they fleet away from your mouth. He would look at you differently, he would find you pathetic and then he’d leave. And you wanted him to leave. But you also wanted him to stay. It was all so confusing.
You felt as if your being was torn between two great forces, each one of them trying to win the war raging inside you. You wished someone else would make the decisions in your place, for once.
Minho places the coffee and notes on the ground before approaching you, his palms facing up in a gesture of surrender. "I won't leave you," he says softly. "I’ll be by your side for as long as you'll have me."
"Minho..." your voice catches in your throat as you utter his name- like a broken prayer. He stands before you, his eyes shimmering like the reflection of a river on a sunny day.
"Please, let me make it better."
You nod tentatively and Minho comes even closer to you. He was treating you like one would with a wounded animal, giving you a chance to ultimately back out. But for once, you listen to what your heart has been yearning for. Your bones are aching to be held, to feel the warmth of a body against your own, to feel safe and secure.
Minho embraces you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and bringing you to him. You slowly bring your arms up and lace them around his waist. You are afraid, deathly afraid. His grip is loose, and you almost can't feel him around you, but when you lay your head on his chest, he tightens his hold on you and you instinctively let out a sob.
He's hugging adult you, the woman whose heart was once again broken by her mom. But he's also hugging little you, the girl who was craving affection from everyone around her. In that instant, Minho is hugging every single version of you that ever needed a hug.
You were right to be scared because you don't want to let go, you want to stay in his arms because they feel safe, like a shield protecting you. You can't go back to not hugging Minho.
The sensation is overwhelming and your knees buckle underneath you. But instead of holding you up, Minho falls to the ground with you, as if you are two inseparable pieces of one puzzle. He isn’t here to fix you, he’s here to break down with you and help you pick up the scattered pieces.
You think back to that night in the park when Minho told you about Japanese vases. At this moment, it dawns on you that Minho has found a way to become a part of you. He was the molten gold binding your broken parts together. He was the invisible thread stitching your wounds back together.
Who were you fooling? It was him; it was him all along.
Minho rocks you gently as you cry and cry and cry. His hand finds your hair and he plays with it as you sob. He tells you you'll be okay, you'll feel better and you try to believe him, his words wrap around your bruises like a healing balm.
"There, there, love. You are okay", he murmurs, tenderly patting your head. A fresh set of tears wells up in your eyes. Love.
"I’m sorry. I'm so sorry," you apologize as you pull away from his embrace.
"Why are you apologizing? Is it because you wet my shirt? I don't mind," he reassures you with a smile and you shake your head.
"I was mean to you and you didn’t deserve it," you explain through hiccups.
"It's okay, you weren't mad at me, were you?" he asks, wiping your tears away so gently with his thumbs, careful not to irritate the sensitive skin.
"No. Still, it isn't okay and I’m sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Shh, don't apologize. It's okay." you look at him doubtfully and he rolls his eyes playfully, "Here I’ll even do your silly pinky promise, okay?" he laces his pinky with yours, but then he suddenly leans forward and places a chaste kiss on your thumb pad. "There, sealed forever."
You giggle faintly as a blush dusts your cheeks, "That's not how it works."
"I know."
Your giggle was far different from the ones Minho was accustomed to. It was small, and it didn't brighten up your face like usual. But he was grateful for it nonetheless. He realized how much he missed your laugh, and how all the other sounds in the world pale in comparison to it.
In that moment Minho thinks to himself that he'd do anything to make you smile again. He'd make a fool out of himself if it meant making you happy. He'd settle for a simple tug at the corners of your mouth, anything but the sadness that seemed etched in your face, as if it was blended into the colors that drew you.
You tentatively move around, before laying your head on his lap. Minho's hand instinctively finds your hair and he starts to gently play with it. It feels as if you've done this a million times before, when in fact it was the first.
There was something wildly intimate about laying on the floor with the man who just comforted you. It made you want to spill all your secrets to him, one by one, and have him hug you through them.
"Did you mean it? When you said you'll stay?" you felt so vulnerable in his hold, as if he could twist you whoever he liked. But you trusted him. You trusted yourself with Minho.
"I did. Your walls are always up. It's hard to peek behind them. But I don't want to tear them down. I want you to slowly unbuild them. I want you to do it for yourself."
To do it for yourself, it's hard to even know who you are anymore.
"I want to tell you."
"You don't need to."
"I know, but I want to."
"Okay. Take your time, kitten." he pats your head gently, and you try to sync your breathing to the rhythm of his touch. You were grateful that you were lying on his lap since you couldn't see his face. It made talking feel a little less daunting.
"On my 9th birthday... I was very excited. I'd been on my best behavior that month, trying to please my mom in the hope that, for once, we'd celebrate my birthday. Like a normal little family," you smile sadly, you were so hopeful back then.
"My birthday came, I woke up, excited. My mom was still asleep, nothing out of the ordinary. So, I made my breakfast and walked to my school. I wore my prettiest dress and put on pigtails with hair clips. It was my birthday after all," Minho smiles softly at your words, his hand now resting on your own.
"I got back home and waited for my mom to come back. She remembered my birthday, I thought. And then, she came but she didn't talk to me. So, I thought, oh a surprise party!" you chuckle, but this time the smile on Minho’s face is gone.
"It was then 11 pm, and the hope had slowly died in me. So, in my stupid innocent self, I went to my mom, and asked her "Did you forget my birthday?". And I remember... I remember the way she laughed. Cruelly. Like I had told her the funniest joke in the world. And then. Then she looked me dead in the eye and said 'I hate the fact that you are born. Why would I celebrate that?'"
Minho sucks in a deep breath at your words, and you exhale one right out. It felt comforting, to have someone else stomach the hurt for you. To take the weight off your shoulders, allowing you a few moments to breathe.
"I confronted her about it one day, but she said she doesn't remember saying that. It's funny how it was a random Thursday for her, but for me, it shaped my life." you smile bitterly, "I remember how jealous I was of the way the other kids talked about their mothers. They said the word so lightly. It must have reminded them of sunshine and ice cream and rainbows. But for me, it held an uncharacteristic heaviness to it. I grew to hate the word."
"I drove myself crazy, Min", you whisper and he brings you closer to his body, "was it me or was it her? When did it start? Was it because I was too loud as a child or maybe too quiet? Did I not cater to her fantasies of a kid? I wanted to remember every single thing that happened throughout my childhood, thread through every single memory. I tried to pinpoint the exact moment my mom stopped loving me."
Minho squeezes your hand tightly in his, and you feel as if he was pulling you away from the memory that had long trapped you. You were now watching it unfold from outside of the window, your hand in his, safe from the hurt it had inflicted on you.
"It's not you. It could never be you. Some people are simply not fit to be parents. It's never their kid's fault."
Minho tries his best to keep his touch soothing, to make his voice sound as soft as possible. But he was angry, he was so angry at the world for not taking care of you when you were younger. His heart broke, thinking of 9-year-old you being told such cruel words.
He wanted to turn back time and tell you that you were enough. He wanted to make the pain that seemed so anchored in you float back to the surface, and dissipate like sea foam meeting the shore.
But he couldn't do that. All he could do is comfort present you.
Minho gently pulls you up from his lap, making you sit upright. He crisscrosses his legs and you do the same. Your knees brush against each other and you feel a shiver run down your spine. You didn't know that even knees could emanate such warmth.
"Yn, look at me. The world wouldn't be the same without you in it," he cradles your face between his hands, "You hear me yn? I’m so thankful you exist."
His doe brown eyes are sincere, and it made you want to believe him badly. That's a good start, right?
"I’ll be back," he tells you, letting go of your face and standing up.
You hear Minho rummaging through the kitchen and you take the time to calm yourself down. Sharing those parts of you with Minho felt therapeutic. As if you were healing parts of your inner child. You have never talked about this with anyone before, maybe this is why it still hurt as badly.
Minho comes back five minutes later, his hands behind his back. You raise a brow at him inquisitively and he just smiles secretly at you. "Close your eyes," he tells you and you giggle, doing as he says. He crouches in front of you, and you hear him shuffle in his place for a bit.
Then, "Open your eyes yn," and you find him, in front of you, a cupcake you had stored in your fridge in his hands, and a makeshift candle lit up. "Happy 9th birthday, love. You did well."
You stare at him in utter bewilderment. You couldn't believe your eyes. How could this man be so thoughtful? He was wishing you a belated birthday, to compensate for the 9th birthday you didn't celebrate.
You panic, at the look in his eyes. You've never seen it, never dared to dream of it, of someone caring for you unconditionally. So, you try to scare him, to push him away. You didn't want him to regret knowing you.
"There are things I need you to know um", you chuckle nervously, "When I... When I throw up, I hold my hair, and when I’m sick I nurse myself back to health, and when I have a nightmare I- I hold my hand in the dark. It will be hard for me to hold yours instead."
"We'll start a finger at a time, yeah?"
"It will take time."
"I have time," he speaks easily, as if loving you was effortless and not a strenuous task. You couldn't fathom it.
"You are too busy-", he cuts you off instantly, "Not for you."
"The world doesn't stop because we need it to." Your voice is quiet; this is your very last try. You are tired of fighting. You are putting down your armor and waving a white flag.
"We'll make it stop. Here, the two of us. On this floor. We'll take as long as we need to."
"I never deemed you as an optimist", you smile a little, a hint of teasing in your tone.
"I’m not," he pauses, gazing down at the cupcake between his hands and then at you. "But I feel that we deserve a bit of happiness together, don't we?"
"We do."
"Then make a wish."
You close your eyes for a few seconds, before blowing on the candle.
"What did you wish for?" he asks a fond smile on his face.
The answer came naturally to you, you didn't even need to think about it. "I wished for you."
Minho's lips come crashing down on yours, and you imagine that this is what it feels like to see colors for the first time. To discover a new world beyond the one you've always known.
The kiss isn't urgent nor feverish, it is one of comfort. Your lips spilling the words you have not yet said to each other. "I love you," he kisses you, "I love you too," you kiss him back. "I need you to stay," you swipe your tongue across his bottom lip, "I’m never leaving you," he opens his mouth allowing you entrance.
As you kiss him, you remember a fact you once learned in high school. The human body possesses seven trillion nerves. And for the first time in your life, you feel as if each of these nerves is alive. You feel that even the smallest atom is electrocuted with Minho’s love and it’s all you know within you.
You feel as if the pain, the hurt, and the ache you've been through are slowly unraveled, and in their place, a timid happiness is starting to bloom. You imagine that when Minho’s lips met your own, the seven trillion nerves inside you exhaled in relief 'We've made it', they said, 'we'll finally be okay.'
Epilogue
You've always thought that epilogues were useless. How can you resume the rest of your life in one sentence, boil down the rest of your existence in mere pages? Because life doesn't stop at the epilogue, and a new book can start once again, right where you left it off.
But with Minho, you didn't mind an epilogue. On the contrary, you longed for a soft one. You wanted to rest on this last page, you wanted to lay your worries on the words and tuck them into the syllables. And you wanted to wake up anew.
And this wasn't the end of your story with Minho. A lot happened after it. But it didn't worry you, because epilogues are about the one thing that doesn't change throughout the long march of time. And luckily for you, that constant was Minho’s love for you. From that day he held you, he has never let go.
It took time, for his warmth to seep through your bones. It took time, for your heart to forget the cold. But you wanted to do it. With him. You wanted to love and be loved.
The sound of cats mewling fills your apartment, pudding can always be found in your fridge and you haven't felt invisible in years.
#FINALLY!!! turning the lights down low scattering rose petals lighting candles…my date w invisible thread is upon me at last 🥰#also i’m doing a sahar-style live reaction so apologies if i comment on literally every little thing that happens hehe im excited#hitting me w the clay metaphor right off the bat...i'm in awe of how perfectly you described childhood development w just a single analogy#molding the reader when she’s young n impressionable and leaving those imprints to harden beyond repair even after she's grown#what a beautifully melancholy way to describe her relationship w her mother and how it affects her view of herself i love it so much ㅠ#lesm inho. leemingo. LEMINHO!!! THE LAZY SMILE NOO U ALREADY GOT ME 😭😭😭 it’s so fucking over and i only just started oh my god#his eyes being the first thing she notices when they meet…the reader is just like me fr but describing them as black holes that draw her in#is making me crazy IT’S SO TRUE!!!! the most mesmerizing eyes known to man that warp space n time this comparison is absolutely stunning#the chill in his hand reminding her of a horrible memory like that 😞 so heartbreaking but also such a clever way to give insight into#the reader's character as well as insight into the the type of relationship she n lino will have and how it will likely resurface old wound#“u weren't sure what u would find on the other side nor did u have any desire to find out” u conveyed the odd magnetism of his eyes SO WELL#im very glad she got a higher grade than him i was not prepared for the smugness that would ensue if he beat her -_-; but a detail i really#adore is how casually lino takes the loss i feel like it goes to show that he truly doesnt have any ill intent despite being so provocative#the cat cafe is called limbo PLEASE THATS SO CUTE 😭 lino mimicking her words…n dodging the pillow i cant stand him actually#to be minho is to be insufferable and get away w it…she should throw a brick at his head next (<- madly in love)#oh my god the part where he laughs at her for hitting her head but from that point on covers that edges of the tables to protect her 😭😭😭#i’m going to be sick to my stomach thsi is the most minho expression of care on earth. all the careful linoisms u included are killing me ㅠ#comparing his eyelashes to the wings of a butterfly ARE U KIDDING!! that has me clutching my heart it's such delicate n gentle beauty#i love that he’s just as competitive as the reader but in a much more lighthearted way…he sees it almost like a game whereas she sees it as#a very serious demonstration of her worth. minho eventually becoming the one she wants to prove herself to rather than her mother#is so intensely sweet and heartwrenching at the same time ): in just a few months he's shown her a healthier love than her mother ever did#THEIR FIRST SNOW TOGETHER NONONO 😭 this entire scene has me inconsolable oh my god LINO W HIS SNOWBALL HE IS SO ANNOYINGLY CUTE#“u cant decide if ur shock was from the impact or from how beautiful happiness looks on him” critical hit on my heart…u painted such a#lovely picture of his laughter i can clearly envision his wild giggles and the way his entire body laughs w him when he’s really excited ㅠ#I WAS GONNA COMMENT ON THE SNOW NOT SPARKING THAT SAME AWFUL MEMORY THIS TIME 😭 his laughter brought her so much warmth she didnt even have#the chance to think abt it i'm so devastated by this parallel…little by little she’s healing w him and melting the frost her mother left#the way the reader grabs her fork to threaten him like he did w the spoon HELP theyre rubbing off on each other without even realizing it#every character detail u included is so well thought out u did a brilliant job ㅠㅠ it makes them human and the story all the more immersive#lino letting her eat first while he cooks the meat and him blushing everywhere when she feeds him MY BABY 😞💔 he thinks he’s so slick…#asking how she’d dispose of a body over dinner…lee minho master of romance everyone 🙏 but literally OF COURSE HE WOULD
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Can you svt and backshots
Wtv u want abt it
18+ / mdi
how much they'd be into backshots
content: smut, backshots, implied established relationship, penetrative sex, afab reader, etc.
wc: 858
a/n: im ngl i literally had to look up what backshots were bc thats not what im used to calling it oops.
masterlist
seungcheol -
he'd try to act as if he's unaffected, but he would be in love with backshots. the angle in which he could take in every single movement and the effect he had on you would have him losing his mind, making him almost lose control as he fucked into you.
jeonghan -
he'd chuckle at how easy it was to get you on your hands and knees for him, ass up and ready for him to go to town. he gets easily tired, however, so this would not be his favorite position to perform in. the simple fact that he could fuck you like this if he wanted to was enough for him to feel cocky, though.
joshua -
would be enamored with how pretty your body looked ready for him to ram into. he would love the way in which you'd lose yourself in it, becoming limp as he fucked into you. you'd become a pretty body that he got to play with as he saw fit, simply drinking in your muffled moans as you cried into the mattress.
jun -
zero thoughts going through his mind as he thrusted crazily into you. there wouldve been no questions asked the moment backshots were brought up. you wanted to get on your hands and knees for him? he was so there. he'd hold off a crazy amount of time just to make the experience last as long as possible, being in love with the sight in front of him.
soonyoung -
he'd so badly wanna cum on your back, which would make him go a little crazy the moment backshots were proposed. he would be unrecognizable as he fucked into you, taking on that serious and focused persona that you only ever see when he's on stage. his stamina is crazy, though, so despite exerting himself, he would still be down to do it again and again and again.
wonwoo -
unpopular opinion but i think wonwoo would probably go for more intimate forms of sex, however, he would never say no to backshots. he'd be enamored with every curve of your body and how well your body fit against his like this. his hands would leave bruises on your hips from how harshly he'd unknowingly grab at you. backshots may have the ability to make him lose himself in you.
jihoon -
would be overwhelmed at the position. just the thought of fucking you like this would have all his ability to think leave his brain. scared he might cum at just seeing you positioned and ready for him. looking at your body from this angle also didnt help matters. his eyes would roll back the moment he even got his hands on you, unsure of how he would last.
seokmin -
he gives me the vibe that he'd be more into more intimate positions, so even tho he would love doing backshots, it wouldnt be his first choice. however, if you were ever to receive him on ur hands and knees ready for him, he would immediately get weak in the knees and get to business.
mingyu -
im a strong believer he's an ass man, which leads me to believe that this would be one of his go-to's when it came to having sex. he would go crazy over it the first time yall did backshots. his hands would absolutely bruise your hips, and your ass would end up red from how harshly he would cant his hips against it.
minghao -
he would be a huge fan of seeing your face during sex, so backshots wouldn't necessarily be optimal for him. however, he knew that pleasure came in a plethora of forms, so he would be down to try any and every position with you. your body would be something he would be absolutely obsessed with, so he would gladly welcome backshots as a way of admiring the curve of your back and the softness of your hips as he fucked into you.
seungkwan -
a huge fan! yet another member who would marvel at your body for an extended period of time before actually getting to business. despite being backshots, he would be pretty sweet and soft with you. up until his orgasm began to approach, which is when he would really lose his mind and arch your back further for him as he tried to reach his end.
vernon -
a baddie getting on their hands and knees for him? hell yeah. he would savor every moment before even putting it in, caressing and marveling at every curve of your body. the fact that he had you right there, all ready for him would have him groaning every single syllable that left his mouth.
chan -
im convinced being a simp is imbedded in his dna, so i think that the concept of you on your hands and knees for him would almost make him pass out. he could see every accentuated curve of your body like this, also being able to hold you and bend you to his liking for him to fuck. this would become one of his favorites (despite always cumming a little sooner than usual whenever backshots were involved).
#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen#svt#seventeen imagine#seventeen oneshot#seventeen smut#svt smut#svt reactions#seventeen reactions#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios
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i loved your recent hc post !!! could i request a nsfw of one piece men when they beg during sex?? need that ASAP !!! thank u >.<
i need this asap too i think
18+ ONLY (minors go away !)
MONSTER TRIO x FEM!READER
a/n: sorry for the wait! had a bit of a hard time figuring out what to put for luffy, but i hope you like what i came up with! thanks anon <3
don’t forget to like, reblog, follow, and comment if you would like to support my work! mwah 💓
“let me make it up to you?”
Luffy:
so we already know he’s talkative
in and out of the bedroom
and he has no problem being vocal
butttt he’s also a man who’s used to getting what he wants
the first time he’s ever felt the need to beg for anything is with you
it would sorta just slip out mindlessly when he was really needy, words reaching your ears before he could even register what he was saying
it feels strange and foreign in his mouth at first
but i feel like it would grow on him pretty quickly
it would make him giddy that doing something as simple as essentially just talking, (one of his many skills), he could make you blush and press your thighs together
so then he’d start doing it more often
“please, please, please, can I feel your mouth”
“need it so bad”
“please let me touch you, i’ve been so patient-”
and then he’d start getting bolder and do it outside of the bedroom too
partly because he loves seeing you get all riled up and flustered
cause he’s a little shit
but also because he just thinks you’re so goddamn hot and literally wants to touch you all the time
you could be helping with chores, or eating dinner, or talking to your crew mates, does not matter
he will persevere and find a way
he has no shame
some events are more subtle and sweet
ex: “can i kiss you? pretty please?”
but some events are harder to miss
he’ll wrap his arms around your waist from behind, nuzzle his face into your neck, and whisper his needy pleas into your ear
he’ll tell you everything he’s gonna do to you as soon as he gets you alone, pleading for you to let him drag you away to somewhere more private
his smile is as wide as ever as he watches the way you shiver
it’s still seemingly innocent to any onlookers, but definitely not innocent to either of you
“can we please go now? you look so pretty, and i just wanna be inside you so bad- please can we?”
it definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by the crew when you both bolt out of the room
Zoro:
the closest you’ll get to zoro begging is if ur riding him and he’s pussydrunk honestly
because he doesn’t even realize he’s talking in the heat of it all
he just feels so good, and you look like an angel, and his lips start moving without a thought behind it
“just like that, don’t stop-“
“fuck- harder”
“oh shit, do that again“
and his voice sounds absolutely wrecked
but he still never says please
unless you make him
zoro will do anything to please you, and you know that
so you can use it to your advantage
he wants to touch you? better ask nicely
and he will, begrudgingly, follow through on the request
only for you
let me set the scene alright
the two of you are making up and making out after a petty argument, the adrenaline making you both a little more desperate than usual
his hand inches farther and farther down your body, about to slip past the barrier of your panties
you stop him
“ah ah ah- i’m still a little mad at you.”
it’s all teasing, both of you know that, but it still has the same effect
because zoro would honestly do anything you asked him, even if thats begging for forgiveness
so with a huff, he asks nicely, even though his cheeks are hot and his ears are pink with embarrassment
“i’m sorry baby, really”
“let me make it up to you? show you how sorry i am?”
he’ll whisper into your neck to hide his face
“can i touch you? please-“
and honestly thats more than enough for you to to lose your resolve
but know that he will deny his actions if the situation ever gets brought up again
Sanji:
sanji will beg you for anything at any time
for your attention, kisses, alone time
it’s just in his nature, and he’s not ashamed about it either
he’ll even get on his knees if necessary
and he loves when it’s necessary
on his knees between your legs, hearing you pant and watching your hips twitch makes him lose his mind
he’ll punctuate each word with kisses along your thighs and hips
“please let me taste you, princess”
“just wanna bury myself between your thighs- can i please?”
“let me worship you, ma chérie. need to see your beautiful face when you come undone on my tongue”
his voice always gets whiny, and scratchy, and so desperate for you that it almost seems painful
because he whimpers
and his heart eyes don’t play
so he begs all the time, for a multitude of reasons
but mostly, he knows that begging you almost always gets him exactly what he wants
he’ll beg when he’s been hungry for you all day
“please, my love, please touch me”
“faster, faster, faster-”
he’ll beg when he’s fucking into you so good you can hardly breathe
“one more, okay? i promise, just one more- i’m so close-”
“cum for me, darling. need to feel it, please please please-”
and he’ll definitely beg when you’ve been edging him for what feels like hours
“please can i cum? i’ve been so good, please-”
“don’t stop again, please mon coeur, ill do anything”
he’s absolutely whipped for you to say the least
asks are open!
#brairslair#brairs hc’s#monster trio#luffy x y/n#opla luffy#monkey d. luffy x reader#monkey d. luffy smut#luffy x reader#luffy smut#one piece luffy#monkey d. luffy#luffy#opla luffy smut#roronoa zoro smut#zoro smut#roronoa zoro x reader#zoro x reader#op zoro#one piece zoro#roronoa zoro#zoro#opla zoro#opla zoro smut#sanji opla#sanji smut#opla sanji smut#vinsmoke sanji x reader#sanji x you#sanji x reader#op sanji
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🕸 waifnumber17 Follow
she let me hit becuause behind my whimsy there is this Sorrow
[this post was made by an adherent of the great council of 101!!! DNI if you adhere to andal succession law]
🌻 littlelordroses Follow
omggg my fields have been absolutely THRIVING since the tyrells have brought comfort and prosperity to the capital. feel so proud to be a reachman. thank youuuu @ mace_the_ace
🦁 hearmerawr Follow
mace tyrell is a separatist and a cryptofascist btw
🌻 littlelordroses Follow
umm could you provide some sources for this?
🥖 heelobread Follow
LANNISTAN GLOWIE SEETHING RN
🏵 ofthegreenlands Follow
lolol thats def cersei isnt it
🦁 hearmerawr Follow
it’s not my job to educate you
❄ whorefrost Follow
ok this is a long shot but if any of you are in the area around the godseye i lost my raven Moonwing yesterday and i was wondering if any of you might have seen him. he was pacing around my room two nights ago mumbling things like 'snow' and 'king' and 'hardhome'. my brother likes to play pranks on me so i thought it was just one of his games but when i woke up my raven was gone. i miss him a lot so i wanted to reach out to see if any of you might have seen him
🌙 moonglowinherhair Follow
heyy im in the godseye area too (im from Crofter's Fall if youve heard of it) but i was wondering if you have any more information about your bird? theres a lot of ravens around these parts haha
❄ whorefrost Follow
hes black
🌙 moonglowinherhair Follow
anything else?
❄ whorefrost Follow
he bites me a lot
⚔️ swordcrosseryaoi Follow
streets are saying sansa poisoned joffrey and took off from kings landing on leathery bat wings to go to the wall you go girl!! starks stay winning
fireandboob Follow
oh my fucking none of these people care about you. a stark brigade literally plundered my whole village!! can we not do this again i hate this goddamn site
🍏 fossobabe Follow
does anyone know if we have tomorrow tomorrow
🍁 plummpudding Follow
for man, perhaps. but for a tree, time is different. a river roiling back and forth, both here and there, but inconstant--always inconstant. a thousand years are but a mere moment through the eyes of a heart tree
📿 sparrowsbones-777-deactivated2990707 Follow
yeah go pray to your rivers northoid. and when the shaman comes to tear your heart out and sacrifice it to your trees, maybe spare a thought for the Seven and their divine might. we'll be waiting.
🍁 plummpudding Follow
254.421.81.132
❄ whorefrost Follow
yooo thats near where i live! if you see a raven flying near your house, could you dm me?
⛓ rhllorbot Follow
The night is dark and full of terrors.
[Beep-boop! I look for heathens and non-believers. Sometimes I mess up.]
🐗 bobby-b-bot Follow
IS THAT HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR KING??
🐀 askmeaboutmylengtheory Follow
every time i scroll past this post i have to reblog
🦀 crackedclaw Follow
hey can i ask you about your leng theory?
🐀 askmeaboutmylengtheory Follow
No.
🍏 fossobabe Follow
what the hell happened to my post
🗝 adropofdragonblood Follow
alright we're solving this once and for all
🧀 bloodncheesewasan1n51d3j0b Follow
op you coward wheres stannis
🗝 adropofdragonblood Follow
many have been asking the same question
🕯glasscandle-was-taken Follow
ok i know i shouldnt be surprised bcz its popular on this site to bandwagon onto the next popular thing but just a reminder that if youre supporting the conquests of daenerys targaryen youre supporting a literal colonizer and imperialist. plus slavery is literally a unique and traditional part of ghiscari culture so we cant be surprised that people over there dont like her. begging yall to pick up a scroll once in a while
🍷adornishred Follow
K
👁️ eye-motif Follow
U
⛈ pisswaterprincess Follow
N
🩸 blood-motif394 Follow
what if we were both locked in the formless dark void of the dungeon together, bereft of our own names and our own identities, bereft of everything that made us who we were. and we were both boys
🐒 littlestvalyrian Follow
haha that would be pretty epic i think
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sean diaz fluff alphabet (rq)
(A) attractive - what do they find attractive about u? how do they show this?
sean is attracted to anyone or anything that deviates the norm. dyed hair, unique background/perspective, and unconventional features. literally anything u think is unattractive and not up to the beauty standard about u, he probably rlly digs it. hell draw it in his journal always! but not in a way that comes across performative—he just draws u authentically. he doesnt feel the need to modify how u look in his art bc he thinks ure perfect as is (booo corny).
he shows his attraction through flesh-blazing, skull-burning staring. he analyzes his muses thoroughly after all... he knows where all ur freckles/moles are and can draw ur smile from sheer memory. in the months that he crushed on u, u couldn’t help but feel this pestering feeling of being watched in class constantly.
hes still a dorky teenage boy so if u share the same music taste as him or have the same hobbies hell geek out!! “no way she can skate AND listens to my favorite songs…” lyla will just roll his eyes at him in response. he acts like tom from 500 days of summer 😭
(B) baby - how do they act around kids?
sean definitely says he hates kids. hell talk about how annoying they are and use daniel as an example ALWAYS. that however does not hide the fact that he is REALLY good with kids. i wouldnt say its in a fatherly way but kids tend to look up to him as a cool older brother (even when he doesnt try to be one).
sean also secretly loves it when ur good with kids, despite him allegedly hating them. he cant help but grin ear-to-ear when he sees how happy u make daniel. once he becomes self-aware he tries to wipe his smile off asap. when u, sean, and daniel go out u guys are practically his parents. both of u know how to shut down daniels whining fast. albeit sean does more of the hushed, frustrated demands and u just try to defuse daniel.
(if u guys have ever seen the video of jake and tara with that baby thats how i imagine u guys with kids 😈 except ur both a mix of tara n jake)
(C) cuddle - how do they like to cuddle?
honestly the two of u can never decide who’s big spooning and who’s little spooning. to solve this issue the two of u just kind of… stack on top of each other.
esteban will do his routine dad check up on the two of u (preventing teen pregnancy) and walk into u guys jenga-ed on top of each other. ur legs are a tangled mess and u look like two corpses laid on top of each other. scrolling through ur phones while stacked is the go-to. ull be muffled chuckling into sean’s stomach at random videos for an hour…
while cuddling sean always traces little drawings/words on ur body. when u ask him whats hes drawing hell probably say its a dick LMFAO. so romantic 🙄
at the beginning of ur relationship, sean always felt the need to be the “man” and cradle u like some big infant. overtime he got more comfortable and whenever u guys watch movies on the couch hell be sprawled out on top of ur lap. one arm up supporting his head and a leg propped up like a princess xoxo
(D) dates - what are dates with them like? what do they like to do?
concerts, fairs!!! and MOVIES for sure
sean casually drops half his check on good seats for one of ur guys favorite band. the two of u have a tradition of replaying their music for weeks until the concerts about to start. it literally does not matter how many times uve gone to concerts with sean—u guys stay excited every single time. the after concert high is so good and u guys always kiss in the car afterwards. the two of u mess up each other’s hair and shuffle back in ur seats with swollen lips. sean backs out the parking lot while awkwardly clearing his throat 😭
SEAN IS SUCH A BIG FAIR GUY. he gives less than two shits if the pop-up fairs are shady and will probably collapse at the slightest gust of wind. he WILL take u on all the janky rides and tease u for being freaked out. he holds ur hand while giggling like a lil boy on the ferris wheel bc the creaking starts to freak the both of u out. he also tries to win fair prizes for u and say its a “bullshit scam” when he loses.
u beg him to go into the photobooth and take cute little couple-esque photos. he says “fineee” after some convincing with a smile and he avoids ur gaze after too. he definitely secretly wanted to the whole time though!! when they print out, they come out with those face-adjusting filters. u guys are WHEEZING laughing in front of the slot where they regurgitate out those abominations. sean puts it on the back of his phone case bc he thinks its so hilarious 😭
sean is a film nerd considering he had goodlands on his laptop. hes definitely up to date on any movie releases and will want to watch anything new with u. u guys always dissect the movie aggressively afterwards. the both of u will forever and always argue about which characters u liked and didnt over some takeout.
(E) equal - are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
sean on the regular is passive. he never was the “dominant” type to like… back u into corners. in fact he was really awkward when u first met him. hes lowkey scared of women 😭
it took him a while to get comfortable/assertive. by “comfortable” i mean gaining the ability to tease u back LMAO. when he first gave u a snarky remark ur jaw kind of hung open and u guys HAVENT STOPPED SINCE. overall, sean usually was the one to wait for u to initiate something. he never wanted to put u in a situation ud be uncomfortable with.
(F) fight - would they be easy to forgive their s/o? how are they fighting?
u guys fight like an old married couple. playful arguments always happen but once it becomes serious/personal things go south. one thing leads to another and the two of u just get agitated with each other
when u guys do seriously fight sean eventually lets u have ur way ALWAYS. he always prioritizes what u need/feel in the end and is really good at saying sorry. a part of him feels like big fights indicate ull leave him so hell always choke out things like “i just dont wanna lose you” after arguments. it sounds really dramatic but he has DEEP-rooted abandonment issues. hell hold u—whether it be an embrace or ur hand just to feel comforted afterwards.
(G) gentle - how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?
GAWWWWWWWWWDAUH sean is so incredibly very gentle. sure, he teases u sometimes but in the end, again, he always makes sure ur comfortable! he asks u if ur okay when u look clearly overstimulated/out of it.
physically, sean doesnt mess around. he will constantly playfully shove u, mess with ur hair, etc. obviously its never to the point where it hurts but this is the only way he can get his daily dose of pda, so!
(H) hugs - do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?
sean is crazy on back hugs. he will always surprise u with one and he WILL trap u in it. ull be walking around his house and chatting with his leech-self wrapped around u. he likes nuzzling his nose in and u can feel his lips curl into a smile on the nape of ur neck when u make a joke (😢)
sean takes the opportunity to embrace u at any moment of privacy hes given. when daniel or esteban catches him he immediately flings off u and starts stuttering LMAO. hes kind of lanky so if anything his clothes are what cushion u. BUT he is very warm and is a personal heater #tbh. who needs a coat when u have sean???
(I) i love you - how fast did they say the l-word?
i feel sean is VERY quick to fall in love but takes forever to actually utter the words out. he will have a love at first sight moment with u and only have the feelings grow bigger and bigger as time goes on. sean is overall a reserved person and wouldnt go out of his way to tell u, no matter how much lyla encouraged him.
he would only say it once it becomes overbearing for him. like, to the point where the extent he loves u has become pervasive and PERSISTENT. it will just explode out of him at some pivotal moment. u guys will be laughing hysterically at something only u guys would laugh at. then, boom, it slips out like its something he had to swallow back down a hundred times before. because its so sudden, it will definitely catch u off guard.
he would repeat it because he didnt think u heard it the first time like a dork. his stomach acid is doing fucking somersaults at this point. u will visibly see this guy’s face drop and his hands start to fiddle anxiously. his eyes will kind of dart all over ur shocked face in fear. he’ll choke a lil “sorry i have no clue why i even said that-“
u lean in and the rest is history 🤓
(J) jealousy - how jealous do they get? when do they get jealous?
sean is always a bit wary of specific guy friends or potential suitors u have in ur life. again, sean picks up on LOTS that most people brush over. he knows when people flirt with u and he always bites his tongue before he says anything.
whenever u talk about other people too much, he gets a little… sassy. ull be thanking some guy in ur class for giving u the answers and hell be grumbling “i wouldve gave them to u…” under his breath. u shoot a look at him and he just defensively puts his arms up LMAO. he never seems to stop either. the amount of times u caught him rolling his eyes… criminal.
(K) kisses - what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss u? where do they like to be kissed?
sean is so shy when it comes to kisses. when u first began dating, sean never kissed u without a shy “can i?” before. he never knew when was appropriate or if u wanted to kiss him at all. his ears would flare up in red and his eyebrows would furrow in concentration each time.
overtime, as he got more comfortable, sean began finding the “right times” himself. whenever u leave his house he always gives u a quick peck. daniel never misses his opportunity to scream “EWW” as loud as he can. sean will be like “one more” and smooch ur cheek and then say “wait another one” and just KEEP GOING. if he wore lipstick u would look like u were dunked in a pig’s blood.
smiling into the kiss happens without fail—every single time. sean cant help himself, hes a lover boy!! he will always slowly open his eyes and pray u wont catch him sneaking a look. once he pulls away, he laughs while covering his mouth with his wrist. he gets butterflies still, no matter how many times u kiss 😭 im sick.
(L) love language - what is his love language?
sean’s family is big on quality time so he definitely prioritizes it. impromptu hangouts are his absolute favorite and if he could, hed spend every hour he could with u. sean never fails to randomly invite u over and hold u at gunpoint to do family time with him, daniel, and esteban.
also sean is a big gift giver! he will always give u doodles of ur favorite characters and little things that remind him of u. u guys have matching pins, keychains, bracelets, etc. not only does he go all out, but he also knows EXACTLY what u like. again, sean is the most attentive bf ever. hes the kind of man who would spend hours making coraline dolls of u two.
(M) mornings - how are mornings spent with him?
sean is not a morning person. he is almost always running late to first period, so oftentimes u cover for him. he will come to class with messy hair and will lizard-blink at literally anything u say. when u tell him that u gave the teacher an excuse, hell let out a croak-ey "thanks" and he will on a 99% chance knock out right after. he'll probably dazily open his eyes at u every so often and go back to sleep LMAO.
on weekends, sean will... barely be awake for mornings. ull be up and ready, watching hawt dawg man on the couch with daniel while eating cereal. sean shortly comes out of his mancave, stretching and yawning. hell come to lean on ur shoulder and stare blankly at the screen. its never particularly productive but sean couldnt care less honestly.
(N) nicknames -what does he call u?
sean has a disdain for nicknames. uttering any of them out loud just seemed so embarrassing to him… unless he’s making fun of them. he does however love “girlfriend.” its not exactly a nickname but he loves saying ur his girlfriend or “my girlfriends coming over” to people.
at a certain point he started using it in sentences that wouldn’t make sense. he’d go “hi girlfriend” every time he sees u. he’s so stew peed… 😢
(O) on cloud nine what is he like when he’s in love? is it obvious for others?
lyla never hears the end of u. shell be talking about something entirely unrelated and sean will be disassociating with his mouth open. when he finally snaps back into reality the first thing that comes out of his mouth is “do u think she would find it a turn off that u drive me everywhere?…“
“yeah obviously— were u even listening sean?”
“mm okay…” he just goes back to tuning her out again LMAO.
esteban will be asking for his tools from sean and he’d be totally zoned out just thinking about u. esteban will pull himself out from under the car and groan “augh… lover boy…” without sean even saying anything to him… so yes hes obvious.
(P) pda - is he upfront about your relationship? does he brag about you with others? or he rather shy to kiss, etc. when others are watching?
i already wrote on this but sean would rather keep intimate contact privately. that is, unless hes really in the heat of the moment. for example, at a concert hed just get so riled up. the lyrics of the song perfectly aligning with the way he feels about u MIGHTTT just make him collide lips with u, who knows! at special moments he won’t hesitate to kiss u but he’s just usually not a show-ey person.
too many times have the two of u attempted to sneak away to be romantic alone and gotten caught. whether it be lyla, esteban, daniel, or any of sean’s guy friends—they always tease u guys. lyla is so dramatic and she’d probably do the most, screaming and squawking when all she sees is sean hugging u 😭
(Q) quizzes - how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?
just like i mentioned earlier, sean remembers every little thing. he knows which side of ur smile leans more toward, the distinctive mole on ur arm, etc etc etc. he loves u like how a husband with a camcorder loves his late wife <3
sean has pulled multiple joe goldbergs before u started dating. he will give u some small knick knack of ur favorite video game/show/band and ull thank him, visibly confused on when u mentioned it. hell notice and just go “i heard u talk about it like three months ago.” he only realizes HOURS LATER how creepy he sounded and his ass will start sliding down a wall dramatically in his room.
(R) rosy - what makes them blush?
sean is quick to blush. honestly, any time u guys are intimate in any sort of way his ears are probably burning up. he’ll try to hide that he’s nervous by giving u quick one-liners back but inside his heart is RACING.
(S) security - how protective are they? how would they protect you?
sean goes to great lengths to protect people he loves, like u. in relation to actual life is strange 2 lore, sean definitely does anything in his power to not involve u in the incident. if u try to contact him or find him, he’ll probably be EXTREMELY upset. at first, all he can think about is how much he wants u away from all this mess. he just wants u to live a normal life—and if that meant being far away from him he’d be okay with it. u would beg him to let u back in his life and eventually, with much hesitation, he’d oblige. keeping u alongside daniel on the road allowed u to see another side to sean. he had been hit and came back up so many times just for u. all he wants in his life is to keep u safe.
exempt from life is strange 2 lore, sean always does little things to keep u safe. there are many times where he treats u like daniel—aka a big baby LMAO. he’s big on acts of service as well so he’ll always make u walk on the inside of the sidewalk, hold ur hair away from ur face when it’s windy, help u jump off of places too high up, etc.
(T) try - how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?
he’s so bf coded of course he puts maximum effort at all times! he gets crafty for you every anniversary—a collection of drawings of u and a curated playlist/burnt cd is the MINIMUM he’s capable of. he’s the kind of boyfriend that can actually pick up on subtleties. something u mentioned liking once? it’s now in his cart.
when sean feels like switching it up he’ll try to do things he’s not used to like pottery and completely fail 😭. he has some place in the back of his closet for all the clunky diy gifts he’s tried to make for u in the past. despite this, he’ll give u a perfect trinket dish and u’ll wonder how he’s so good at everything… well, one day in his room he’ll ask u to go get something from his closet. u go inside and see a cardboard box with 15 versions of that very same trinket dish he made.
(U) understanding - how well do they know their partner?
sean does his best at understanding you as a person. when u talk about complicated emotions and unique experiences he doesn’t quite share, he’ll have this really pensive expression. he nods along and tries to understand ur perspective to the best of his ability. because of this, its really easy to open up to sean.
sean has you down to a T. hes so so so perceptive and knows when u feel uncomfortable. a small falter in ur smile, the glossy glint in ur eyes, ur lip quivering, he sees it ALL. he will immediately try to get u out of whatever situation ure in.
(V) vanity - how concerned are they with looks?
he could give less than two farts tbh. he loves when u look like a mess, more drawing opportunities for him. he however will make a big deal about looking good in front of u. he will be styling his hair for an hour in front of the mirror before going on a date with u, hogging the bathroom. he also practices the way he approaches u and lays out his outfits to impress u LMAO.
(X) xtra headcanon
sean loves cats so much. if u have a cat, he will spend the whole time at ur house trying to befriend them. bro will be crawling all over ur house on all fours... it gets to the point where u guys can never pass by a petsmart without sean making an impromptu visit to see the cats. plus, u guys have matching cat profile pictures!!!
(Y) yearning - how will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
sean coops up and calls and texts u as much as u can. its to the extent where he will send u nonsensical texts just so he can open ur guys' chat. ur phone will be vibrating so much and out of curiosity ull open it to just see random symbols and letters strung together. he'll send u random photos throughout the day that remind him of u and make unplanned video calls. u guys do mundane tasks together in silence for HOURS. they never fail to end with him just falling asleep on call.
(Z) zzz - what are their sleep habits?
sean is NOT a morning person. because daniel’s usually the one that wakes him up, he will slam a pillow into ur face when ur just trying to wake him up. he will open his eyes to see u and mumble a “shit sorry…” and snake his hand around u back into bed. he will hold u PRISONER under those sheets. if u try to shuffle out he will snake another arm around u. u're essentially held hostage until sean decides he wants to set u free... cruel world.
unfortunately i feel like this is very lackluster and COULDVE BEEN BETTER idk. also not proofread so sorry if this was... inchuresting to read... it also sucked me dry so i think i may have to start writing ACTUAL fanfics instead of hcs😢😢😢 thank u if u did enjoy though...
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high maintenance gf x earth 42 miles and how he would literally spoil her sm!! and everytime she gets her hair, nails, etc done he always wants to see them #SoCute🤭
take care of my woman ft. miles morales
♡ pairings & aus: earth42!miles morales x black!fem!reader ♡ summary: your boyfriend loves keeping his girl spoiled and happy, and he especially loves to see what he does for you ♡ warnings: one swear! just sum' good ole fluff ♡ a/n: thanks for your request!! we love the softie side of mr morales ♡ got a request? | masterlist ♡
MILES MORALES DEFINITELY SPOILS YOU. Every chance he can get, he's finding reasons to provide for his girl or finding ways and outlets to get you what you want. On this particular day, you were sitting in a hairstylist's chair after Miles caught you scrolling through different hairstyles on your Pinterest feed.
"You want that one, hermosa?" He had asked you earlier when he saw you save a picture of some goddess braids to your hair inspiration board. You didn't even bother to lie and say no, because you knew he could tell if you were lying, so you just nodded and watched as he sent you three hundred dollars to go and get your hair done. As you stood up and got ready to go, he came up to you and pulled his car keys out his pocket, "Take my whip. I'll see you later, okay? Love you."
Grinning at him, you had kissed him and left his house to go to your favorite hairstylist, Monica, who has never done you dirty in the years she's been doing your hair. You were sitting comfortably in her chair, catching up on the latest neighborhood gossip as your phone charged next to her hair station. She heard it buzz and she tapped your shoulder, "Girl, your man is texting you."
"Hand me the phone, please." You requested, the device getting placed into your palm as you felt Monica start on your next braid. You swiped your phone open and clicked on your boyfriend's text.
from [mi novio <3]: hey amor from [mi novio <3]: what yo hair lookin like? lemme see
You giggled at his message, "Yo, Monica, can you take a picture of the back of my head and send it to Miles?"
Monica snorts, "You do know this big 'ole ponytail ain't finish yet, right? I'm jus' starting the third row."
"Just take it." You urged with a laugh. You heard your stylist snap the picture and click send, and within seconds, your boyfriend was texting you back.
from [mi novio <3]: yikes bae from [mi novio <3]: thats the end product? from [mi novio <3]: u need some more $$ ??
to [mi novio <3]: no u idiot, she ain done yet to [mi novio <3]: i think imma get blonde ends whatchu think?
from [mi novio <3]: get 'em, youll look cute in that
to [mi novio <3]: wait crap i dont have enough money
MI NOVIO <3 HAS SENT YOU $100 DOLLARS.
from [mi novio <3]: here u go ma from [mi novio <3]: txt me when u done from [mi novio <3]: i love u
You grinned at your phone and set it down, slumping back in the chair as you waited for Monica to finish your hair up. You couldn't wait to get home to your boyfriend and show him.
After what seemed like an eternity, your braids were finally finished, dipped, and your scalp had been moussed. You swiped your (more like Miles') card and smiled at Monica, who wished you a good day and slipped a free hair oil in your bag. You made your way outside and quickly drove back to your boyfriend's place, excited to show him your new hairstyles.
You unlocked the door to his crib once you arrived. You saw him sitting on the couch, manspreading with his hands behind his head, watching something on TV that you would probably have little to no interest in. You grinned and squealed when you saw him, plopping down next to him, "Look at my hairrrrr!"
He smiled at you, kissing your cheek, "Lookin' so fine, déjame hacer una foto."
You watch as your boyfriend takes out his phone and takes a picture of your hair, saving it to some folder. You peek over with a smile as you see the name,
my woman and the shit i pay for.
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 ☻ thank you for reading!
𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑-𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓🕷️: @queenesther996 //@sukunas-slutty-bitch // @c3f21 // @wydney // @rinnyisnothere // @brieryann // @moisttowllet // @Dee-m-cee // @liliummz // @starhrtz
𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ✎: @Dee-m-cee // @euphorichappiness10
#‧₊˚✩ — 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒!#‧₊˚✩ — 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒!#spiderman#spiderman into the spider verse#across the spiderverse#miles morales#miles morales x reader#spiderverse x reader#spiderverse x you#spiderverse x y/n#miles morales x you#miles morales x y/n#miles morales x black!reader#earth 42 miles morales x reader#prowler miles#miles x reader#atsv x reader#spiderman: across the spiderverse#spiderman across the spiderverse#earth 42 miles morales fluff#miles morales fluff#miles morales earth 42
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Forever shocked my partner system still sees me as loveable after watching me chug 2 bottles of booze and pass out on call
#??? speaks#like literally how do u look at that n go “that man. thats the one i love”#i love my partner sooooo much i have no fucking idea what they see in me but im soso happy with them. yay🐬🌈✨️#a partner who doesnt judge or hate me when i struggle and encourages me to be better in a way that is kind and loving?!?! WOW#didnt know that was pawsible until then. beautiful wordl
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Hello! I have a request!
Can I have a headcannon of LMK? where female reader is sweet but has really bad luck? ( Like she would almost get hit by a car, incoming ball to the face, tripping, accidentally falling down the stairs, bumping into furniture or people, and light poles, flower pots or signs almost falling on her. And not just her getting hurt but generally things that won’t work with her like a soda getting stuck in a vending machine, losing her wallet and opening a bag of chips but it gets ripped apart instead and falls over to the ground. )
So I was wondering if Mk, Redson and sun wukong actually found this out by hanging out with her and does everything to protect her or put her out of harms way? And maybe they secretly like her? ( I thought this idea was cute and funny so I hope it’ll be fun for you! )
mk + redson + wukong x reader 🧷🧃⏰ -- who has horrible luck!!️
a/n ; this is soo cute, also im just going through my asks rn so if u requested, itll most likely be answered soon!! ilyy
sun wukong !!
☆ he thought you were just real dumb as first icl... just sweet but stupid
☆ you had such a cute innocent smile i mean come on how could he not think that? just so ignorant, yeah, thats it!! thats why your always in danger silly
☆ at first he found it so funny like he tried to hide his goofy little smile but it wasnt enough - watching you trip over literally anything was hilarious
☆ sometimes he thought you mightve been cursed by a demon - how does somebody miss their bus by a minute every single day? you cant be human, theres no way somebody is this unlucky? whatever nagito...
☆ he did find it funny when you wasted a whole 90 yuan on vending machine snacks that didnt even come out, and he did find it funny when you started kicking said vending machine, and he did find it funny when the vending machine spat out drink cans onto your head as a result of your abuse - he can admit that
☆ but he started to get concerned about your safety whenever you even thought about crossing a busy road
☆ im not even kidding - the second you stepped on the road he had to yank you back by your shoulder onto his chest, there was a truck coming right for you
☆ he scolds you a little.... just a little
☆ not harshly but he just wants you to be safe - so he does something to protect you (and embarrass you for scaring him with that whole road incident)
☆ he carries you everywhere, EVERYWHERE MAN... and he shows off a bit too the cheeky bastard - throws you up and down, does somersaults, carries you like a sack of potatoes just to embarrass you more
☆ he doesnt do this a lot though, with your luck? you two would probably be hit by an aeroplane
redson !!
☆ he so damn annoying with it "god your so clumsy" WDC!
☆ hes very very protective - like annoyingly so bc he acts like he doesnt care at all (he is PANICKING)
☆ please play with his hair im pretty sure hes more stressed than you are even if your the one whos being attacked by random vending machines and flower pots on the street atp
☆ his ass is NOT letting you leave without him anymore
☆ yeah yeah hes gonna act all "god your such a nuisance, i have to take care of you like youre a child" WDC!
☆ you would hardly see the effects of your bad luck with him because he prevents it as much as he can - he sees that your wallet is loose and about to fall? he got it for u!! "did you just touch my ass?" "w-WHAT?!"
☆ hes never doing that again, have fun losing your money
mk !!
☆ he gets you frr
☆ you both just chill together, he DOES try to prevent the more harmful situations that you may find yourself in like traffic and... vending machines
☆ but hes a baby, he cant help you with getting your coins unstuck in a sewer because he himself probably has his whole wallet in there somewhere
☆ you both look out for each other
☆ see a puddle hes about to slip in? call out, he sees a car coming? he calls out
☆ overall you both have a lot of ... ehem... baxndaids.... in your bags just in case you two do something stupid - whether intentional or not
lmk masterlist
#x reader#reader insert#sun wukong#lmk wukong#monkie kid wukong#six eared macaque#lego monkie king#mk#sun wukong x reader#wukong x reader#redson#redson x reader#mk x reader#redson lmk#monkey king x reader
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FENTANYL -
[ ot7 x reader ] > part one HERE
NEWJEANS
8 participants - 8 online
———————————
hobi: namjoon a bop
jimin: literally 😭
jk: 𝓯𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓵 ❤️
namjoon: oh
y/n: pls ignore jungkook he’s going through a phase rn
jin: i think jungkook is a drug addict and we need to talk about it
jk: 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓈 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀 𝒶𝒷ℴ𝓊𝓉 𝒾𝓉
namjoon: what is a bop?
hobi: how he have like 3 different women in one video
jimin: BOP 😭😭
jk: ᵇᵃᵇʸ ⁿᵃᵐʲᵒᵒⁿ
y/n: jungkook
jk: 𝓲 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾 💓
y/n: not right now jungkook
jk: 𝓲’𝓶 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓻𝔂
y/n: it’s okay
jk: 𝓲 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾
y/n: jungkook
jk: 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭
jin: that’s a literal drug addict right there
namjoon: he’s not a drug addict jin
jin: SAYS THE OTHER DRUG ADDICT
LIKE OMG
joon literally put jungkook onto this life
jk: 𝒾 𝓀𝓃ℴ𝓌 𝒿ℴℴ𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒿𝓊𝓃𝑔𝓀ℴℴ𝓀
y/n: you are jungkook
jk: 𝔂𝓮𝓼 >.<
hobi: i’m worried for him guys
jk: 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸 :(
y/n: he is talking about YOU
jk: 𝓭𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
jin: namjoons influence i’m telling you
namjoon: stop
yoongi: why did jungkook say fentanyl
jk: 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝒻ℴ𝓇𝑔ℯ𝓉 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝒽ℯ𝒶𝓇𝓉
yoongi: is he doing fentanyl now??
namjoon: no
but doesn’t bop mean good song??
how can i be a good song
that makes no sense
jk: 𝓯𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓵 ❤️
tae: hiiii
yoongi: no
tae: guys what is it called when like baby debuts??
hobi: child labour?
jin: newjeans?
hobi: jungkook and y/n core?
namjoon: birth
tae: BIRTH
thats it
guys isn’t birth so beautiful ❤️
jk: 𝓫𝓲𝓻𝓽𝓱 𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓲 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓬𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾
namjoon: ok now can someone now tell me what bop means??!
jimin: i’m going to hurt myself
jk: 𝓳𝓲𝓶𝓲𝓷
𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽
𝓲’𝓶 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮
𝓲 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓬𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾
tae: i wish i could experience birth
y/n: ???
hobi: technically we all have
like
we were born
we’ve experienced birth
jk: 𝔀𝓸𝓪𝓱
tae: no
i want to GIVE birth
yoongi: fucking freak
tae: no i’m not
it’s a natural calling a man has at least once in his life
y/n: calling?
jk: ʷʰᵉⁿ ʷⁱˡˡ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᶜᵃˡˡ ᵐᵉ
tae: don’t worry kook i’ll pass ur number down
yoongi: stop talking
tae: yoongi i’m literally bent over rn
yoongi: ???????
namjoon: please don’t
tae: lets make this baby
y/n: oh
yoongi left “newjeans”
jimin left “newjeans”
hobi left “newjeans”
jin left ”newjeans”
namjoon left “newjeans”
tae: looks like it’s just me and you gorjuice
jk: 𝓱𝓲 𝓫𝓻𝓸 😍
y/n: tae timeout
tae: i JUST got here
y/n added yoongi to “newjeans”
y/n added jimin to “newjeans”
y/n added jin to “newjeans”
y/n added hobi to “newjeans”
y/n added namjoon to “newjeans”
yoongi: why would he say that
jimin: like
hobi: i honestly threw up
jin: still throwing up as i type
namjoon: what the fuck man
tae: dose the calling of birth scare you guys?
namjoon: *does
tae: and you call yourselves feminists….
jk: 𝒾 𝓅ℯ𝓇𝓈ℴ𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎𝓈ℯ𝓁𝒻 𝒿𝓊𝓀ℴℴ𝓀
hobi: sighs
jk: 𝒶𝓁𝓈ℴ 𝓉𝒶ℯ 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃’𝓉 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀 𝓌𝒽ℯ𝓃 𝓎ℴ𝓊’𝓇ℯ ℴ𝓃 𝓉𝒾𝓂ℯ ℴ𝓊𝓉
y/n: kook is right tae shut up
tae: 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬
jk: 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓭
jimin: the font is pissing me off
yoongi: had to block him on twitter
jk: 𝓎ℴℴ𝓃𝑔𝒾 𝓹𝓵𝓼 𝓊𝓃𝒷𝓁ℴ𝒸𝓀 𝓂ℯ
yoongi: kill yourself
jk: 𝓮𝓿𝓲𝓵 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓷𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓲𝓷 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓽 𝓶𝓮
hobi: i hope min heejins black magic wins against you
y/n: LMAOSOSK
jk: :(
y/n: sorry
not cool hobi not cool!
namjoon: hoseok please
hobi: i’m speaking for all of us mr bop
jk: 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓽 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓴 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓶𝓮
namjoon: i don’t even want to know what it means anymore
taking it as a compliment
thank u 👍🏼
jk: 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝒿ℴℴ𝓃 𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝓃ℴ𝓉 𝒶 𝒸ℴ𝓂𝓅𝓁𝒾𝓂ℯ𝓃𝓉 💀
namjoon: oh
jk: 𝐛𝐨𝐩
jin: it’s kinda crazy that she did that tho
yoongi: who
jimin: min heejin
namjoon: allegedly guys pls remember
jin: low-key wish it took us all out
jk: 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝔀𝓮 𝓰𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓰?
jimin: shut UP
jk: 𝓰𝓾𝔂𝓼 𝓶𝓮𝔀 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓶𝓮
🤫🧏🏼♂️
🤫🧏🏼♂️
🤫🧏🏼♂️
🤫🧏🏼♂️
tae: i’m mewing
🤫🧏🏼♂️
namjoon: what
jk: 𝓶𝓮𝔀 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓾𝓼 𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷
🤫🧏🏼♂️
namjoon: tf is he saying to me
jk: 𝓶𝓮𝔀
tae: 🤫🧏🏼♂️
namjoon: what
hobi: this drake and kendrick beef crazy guys
tae: team drake
jk: 𝓴𝓮𝓴𝓮 𝓭𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮
namjoon: what is mew?
jimin: drake son or taehyung daughter
jk: 𝓴𝓮𝓴𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓮𝓻
tae: i pick both
y/n: child neglect
yoongi: suicide
jin: murder
namjoon: mew??
jk: 🤫🧏🏼♂️
tae: mewing son 🤫🧏🏼♂️
yoongi: actually shut the fuck up
jk: 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓭𝓪𝓲𝓵𝔂 𝓶𝓮𝔀 𝓲𝓷
namjoon: what is mew?
jin: new?
jk: 𝓶𝓮𝔀
tae: 🤫🧏🏼♂️
y/n: pls stop
jk: 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓲 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾
tae: i will be posting a cover of gods plan on youtube !!
jimin: i will be covering my ears !!
jk: 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓷
namjoon: mew?
tae: namjoon got gods mew schedule this is crazy
hobi: it’s hard being around unintelligent people all the time
you don’t get this rap beef like i do
jk: 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓯 🤤
jimin: maybe i don’t want to get it
yoongi: couldn’t care less hope they both die
y/n: go kendrick!!!!!!!!
jin: who are we taking about
tae: no i get it like i get no joke hobi i get it drake and kanye go crazy 😭😭💯
hobi: it’s drake and KENDRICK
namjoon: mew the pokémon yes ??
the pink one
this one???
jk: 𝓶𝓮𝔀 𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 🤫🧏🏼♂️
y/n: kook please
jk: 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎ℴ𝓊
yoongi: take this fucking font app away from him
jk: 山卄ㄚ ㄚㄖㄖ几Ꮆ丨
jimin: i think this is my fault
namjoon: someone confirm my mew picture
hobi: bop
tae: kendrick a bop
hobi: YOUAREUGLY IHOPE YOU DIE
jk: Boi🐿what🐿da🐿hell🐿boi
y/n: i hate being here
jimin: been giving him a skittles this past week and telling him they were percs lol
namjoon: what
jin: HES ON PERCS ??!!!!
I TOLD YOU
DRUG ADDCIT
DRUG ADDCIT
DRUG ADDCIT
🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
SOUND THE SIREN
hobi: by riize
ot7 version i hope
jin: JIMIN AND JUNGKOOK OFF FUCKING PERCS I TOLD YOU
🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
jimin: skittles NOT percs
jk: ʲⁱᵐⁱⁿ ᵖˡˢ ᵈᵒⁿ’ᵗ ᵗᵃˡᵏ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ
𝓲 𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽 𝓭𝓸 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓬𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓱𝓾𝓻𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓱 𝓹𝓵𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝑔𝓊𝓎𝓈 𝓅𝓁𝓈
jimin: i’m telling you it was a skittle not a perc
jk: 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽
jimin: jungkook you are not a crippling perc addict you have just been eating skittles
jk: 𝔀𝓸𝓪𝓱
jin: oh..
jk: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
|(• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•) |٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و\(٥⁀▽⁀ )/\(٥⁀▽⁀ )/\(٥\(٥⁀▽⁀ )/\(٥⁀▽⁀ )/\(٥⁀▽⁀ )/
\(^ヮ^)/\(^ヮ^)/\(^ヮ^)/\(^ヮ^)/\(^ヮ^)/
^^ 𝓂ℯ 𝒸𝓊𝓏 𝒾 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝒹ℴ 𝓅ℯ𝓇𝒸𝓈
yoongi: finding out you don’t actually take percs and are acting like this just because is more concerning actually
y/n: ur concerned yoongi??
yoongi: no
y/n: ur so cute
tae: I AM ALSO CONCERNED
@JUNGKOOK ARE YOU OK?!
jk: 𝓎ℯ𝓈 𝒾 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝒹ℴ 𝓅ℯ𝓇𝒸𝓈
namjoon: are we talking about the “mew” noise animals make btw?
hobi: someone tell this bop to shut the hell up
tae: mewing on this hoe ong 😭🤫🧏🏼♂️
y/n: shoot me
jk:
| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄|
|⠀⠀ℳ𝒪𝒢𝒢ℰ𝒟⠀⠀|
|_______|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
namjoon: mogged??
jimin: looksmaxxing
namjoon: what
y/n: namjoon pls give up
namjoon: yeah okay
jk: 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝑔𝒾𝓋ℯ 𝓊𝓅
𝒻𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓃𝒶𝓃𝒿ℴℴ𝓃𝓈𝓈𝒾
yoongi: give up.
jin: namjoon why were you a baby in your music video?
jk: ᵇᵃᵇʸ ⁿᵃᵐʲᵒᵒᵐ
y/n: age regression
hobi: you into that??
y/n: no wtf ???
hobi: oh my fault
me neither lol
tae: let’s all age regress
jk: 𝑔ℴℴ𝑔ℴℴ 𝑔𝒶𝑔𝒶 🍼😭🤰🤰👶
yoongi: ur so gross
jin: so namjoom can you like answer my question
namjoon: basically
jimin: he was reliving his days of youth
i know the concept of youth maybe so far out of reach for you jin that you can’t even IMAGINE what the hell i’m even talking about but yeah
reliving youth ❤️❤️
jin: kill yourself.
namjoon: no but close
jin: you too
namjoon: oh!
jk:
✅✅✅✅✅✅✅
✅✅✅✅✅✅✅
✅ 𝗩𝗜𝗕𝗘 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗖𝗞 ✅
✅✅✅✅✅✅✅
✅✅✅✅✅✅✅
y/n: suicide vibes
hobi: suicide squad
jk: 𝚠𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎
yoongi: im gonna smash his phone i think
tae: why do you think yoongi
why don’t you know
jk: 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝓀𝓃ℴ𝓌 𝓎ℴℴ𝓃𝑔𝒾
tae: brotha doesn’t know a thing ohmygod 💀💀
jk: 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒸𝓁𝓊ℯ𝓁ℯ𝓈𝓈 𝒶𝓈 𝒽ℯ𝓁𝓁 😂💀
hobi: this fucking font
jk: 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝒻ℴ𝓃𝓉
y/n: what is going on today
like why has everyone lost their minds
jk: 𝒾𝓂 𝒻ℴ��𝓃𝒹
yoongi: find a therapist
jimin: or a building to jump off lol
namjoon: don’t do that jungkook
please
jin: joon begging like a bitch what’s new
tae: it’s the age regression in him
yoongi: that makes no sense
jimin: maybe yoongi needs to age regress always so tense let loose
yoongi: don’t enable his ideas
tae: age regress with us yoongi
jk: 𝓌𝒶𝒶𝒶𝒶 𝓌𝒶𝒶𝒶 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
yoongi: this is like extremely strange i hope you know that
jk: 𝓌𝒶?🍼👶
yoongi: y/n
y/n: guys
jk: i’m sorry please forgive me
i’m sorry please forgive me
y/n
hi do you forgive me
lmk of you forgive me or not
i’m sorry
do you forgive me
i know i did wrong do you forgive me yes or no
not my song btw
btw i’m not referencing my song
i’m asking you yes or no if you forgive me or not
NOT referring to my song titled yes or no
omg sorry for shouting i didn’t mean to shout i’m sorry
i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me….
do you?
jimin: do you want to kys?
perhaps??
hobi: maybe
jin: possibly
yoongi: please
—
scrap want to bash my head against the wall sorry better things soon i hope
tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @blairebangtan @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos
#bts crack#bts fanfic#bts fluff#bts imagines#bts fic#bts text#bts x reader#btsxy/n#btsxyou#namjoon × reader#jin x reader#yoongi > reader#hoseok × reader#jimin x reader#taehyung × reader#jungkook × reader#bts texts#rm x reader#suga reader#vx reader#hope x reader#hobix reader#bts fake chats#bts incorrect texts
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NSFW ALPHABET
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a/n: ive seen this like 30 times so i thought id do it too lol
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A - aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
pretty good with aftercare, he’ll make sure you feel alright and comfortable before doing anything for himself.
B - body part (their favourite body part of theirs and of yours)
he lowk likes his eyes. the way you look into them when you’re sucking him off… woah who said that??
he’s an ass man for sure. he’s always making comments and staring at it and touching it. even in public.
“nice ass, ma.”
“thats the third time today, chris.”
C - cum (anything to do with cum)
loves to cum inside of you, if you’ve got plan b. if not, he’ll pull out and cum on your body.
D - dirty secret (self-explanatory, a dirty secret they have)
he literally gets turned on by normal shit you do. loves when you drop things so he can watch you bend down to pick them up.
E - experience (how experienced are they?)
has 2-3 bodies before you, he knows what he’s doing.
F - favourite position
LOVES backshots idc.
honourable mention to spooning for sleepy sex!
G - goofy (are they more serious or humorous in the moment?)
more serious but unless you’re really going at it he might crack a joke every now and then.
H - hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)
he keeps it nicely trimmed down there.
I - intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)
he’s almost always kissing you. he would make out with you for hours if he could.
J - jack off (masturbation hc)
when you aren’t around, he’ll pull up photos you send him or videos you guys took together.
K - kink (one or more kinks they have)
loves to mark you up. he’ll kiss you and give you hickeys all down your body.
also loves when you leave scratch marks down his back.
lowk also breeding
L - location (favourite places to do it)
anywhere he can just bend you over and take you right then (bed, table, counter, etc.)
bonus: he loves pushing you up against the wall and doing it standing up there.
M - motivation (what turns them on)
hearing you. the noises you make could finish him in minutes.
N - no (something they won’t do, turn-offs)
open relationship/threesome. he loves you too much to share you.
O - oral (preference giving or receiving, skill)
he loves a good blowjob from you, but the way your eyes roll back whenever he eats you out really turns him on.
P - pace (are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?)
usually fast and rough, but some nights if you guys are tired or just not in the mood for fast sex, he’s going slow and sensual.
Q - quickie (opinion of quickies, how often)
he’s almost always down for a quickie. just ask and to the bathroom you go.
R - risk (are they down to experiment or take risks?)
if you’re down to take a risk, so is he. don’t like it? it’s never happening again.
S - stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
as much as he would like to go for 5, he can only go for 2 or 3 if he’s really feeling it. he lasts a good amount of time.
T - toys (do they own toys? do they use them?)
he doesn’t own any, but you have a few. he’ll use them on you every now and then, but he wants to be the one pleasuring you, not some toy.
U - unfair (do they tease?)
he loves watching you get pissed off when he teases you, but you know it’ll be worth it in the end.
V - volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)
loves to talk dirty. he’s always whispering stuff in your ear. other than that, he’ll grunt or groan every few minutes.
W - wild card (random hc)
he always takes in your facial expressions. he loves the way your mouth hangs open and your eyes roll back.
X - x-ray (whats going on under the clothes?)
definitely big, but he’s more on the girthy side.
Y - yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
he’s definitely a hornball. he’s always texting or calling to ask if you can come over.
“please im horny again”
“chris i left ten minutes ago what is wrong with you”
“sorry.”
Z - zzz (how long does it take for them to fall asleep after?)
bro passes tf out about 97% of the time. he would like to stay awake and cuddle you, but after putting all his energy into pleasuring you, he physically can’t.
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#sturniolo#nathan doe#sturniolo edit#sturniolo fluff#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#nicolas sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#smut alphabet#n/sfw#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo
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Hello!! I hope you are doing well, wanted to say I love your work !!
Can I request how the BSD boys (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Fukuzawa etc) would react to gf!fem!reader saying “I am just a hole” after they did something attractive? Something fun and suggestive ehehe~
No brain, just horny!
Summary: No one cared about you being down bad for you bfs since everything's mutual, right? (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Fukuzawa)
Genre: fluff, maybe crack, def suggestive themes, maybe a tiny tiny bit of smut. Who knows 💀
Warnings: yall gonna be horny after this 🤓
A/N: was kinda difficult to think of fitting scenarios but i had fun writing this!! Also thank you for loving my work, anonnnn 💕💕💕💕
Part 2
Dazai Osamu
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAAAAAAT 💀💀💀💀
HES HORNY 24/7, DONT EXPECT HIM TO HOLD BACK LMAOO 💀💀😭😭
okay okay so lets say yall are at the ADA office
hes done with annoying the shit ouf of kuni and now hes just sitting on the couch, literally bored out of his mind
Kuni tells u to tell "that dumbass idiot of a boyfriend🤩" to finally get back to work so u go up to him
u know that scene where he leans his head back onto the grave and slowly tilts it back down and opens his eyes while having that soft smile on his face? oda's only purpose was him dying so we'd get that scene, crying fr 😭😭😭
Yeah hes doing exactly THAT as he notices your presence infront of him, flashing you a smile and only for it to spread even further as he notices your dazed face 💀
"Oh, bella? Too lovestruck to talk to me, I see. Can't help it that I'm just so hands-"
"I'm nothing but a hole for you"
I DONT KNOW HOW SOMEONE COULD EVEN SAY THAT 😭😭 THATS SUCH A WEIRD THING TO SAY AND SO DUMB BUT NO ONE CARES 🥲🥲🥲
AND HIS HORNY ASS DOESNT GIVE TWO SHITS EITHER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
his eyes are fking bulging as he hears you say that infront of him
ACTUALLY shocked that you had the guts to legit say that outloud and luckily no one rly heard that except him he wouldnt mind if the whole ass office wouldve heard that, we KNOW 💀
you manage to get a good laugh out of him before he just shoots you that god awful handsome smirk before he suddenly stands up
Towering over you, he leans in and whispers "Never thought you'd be so dirty to say stuff like that during working hours. Not that I'm complaining! I'm glad to have such a strong effect on you, bella~" got me blushing fr😳😳😳
Its too late to realise what you've just said. Your fate has been sealed.
OFF TO HORNY JAIL YALL GO 💀💀🗣️
no jk but nah nah he wont stop there
Youve awakened the fking horny beast in him and how could he refuse his love offering herself so blatantly while your coworkers were literally in the same room?? 🤩😋
He just takes your hand as he proceeds to leave the office
Kuni just yells "Oi, where the hell do you think you're going?! Only told you to tell him to work! Not join his stupid shenanigans!! 😡😡"
YOU KNOW that ur bf just turns around and shoots him that annoying ass smirk, only to say
"But Kunikida, we are off to work actually! Nothing you'd be able to do anyway. Tell me when you've found something interesting in all that paper work of yours! Can tell you that our job will definitely be more fun than that~ 😁😁"
You can only give poor kuni a sheepish smile as atsushi just deadpans at the both of you, muttering a "good luck 😐" towards you as your bf just drags you to his car because your job's gonna be too loud to do at the ada and going home wont be an option since dazai's not patient in that sense 💀💀💀
Already sending prayers to you for having to go back to "work" while being sore af and dazai looking like he got out of a 10 day wellness vacation 😭🥲🥲
dazai's actually gonna spare our poor kuni by kinda doing some paper work but our man will be forever traumatised bc hes not oblivious 🗣️
Especially after seeing your neck littered with hickeys 😭😭 u cant hide them, youve got a damn mosquito as a bf 💀
kuni just tosses a bottle of water your way without looking at u bc he thinks its not modest to shamelessly look at them 😤 I LOVE U KUNI
"thanks, i guess" is all you'll hear from him bc at the end, you DID get dazai to work but at what cost 😭
Kunikida Doppo
Flabbergasted. Shocked. Disappointed. Shamefully not too hard to turn on. 💀
His first reaction is gonna be like u just told ur mom u forgot to do the laundry 😭
DEF gonna scold your ass off for saying such things in such an inappropiate setting
its not your fault hes being so hot during work 😤😤😤😤
Tell him off for being so handsome!! 🤩
Wont stop his scolding but u cant take him serious when hes fumbling over his words
Still manages to thank you for ur compliment even though its embarassing af 😭 no way would he refuse such kind words from his love 😋
So anyway it could go two ways with him
The first would be if yall wouldnt be alone at the ADA
You go up to him to ask him about a report you need help with
Ive never seen kuni tie his hair up but... imagine catching him doing that...
With the hair tie in his mouth as he pulls his hair back and like...
It makes u think of the times you'd yank it back during yk what 🤭
So he notices you gape at him and is all like "🤨 are you alright?"
Cue to you just uttering "Damn, kuni. You only gotta ask. Am just a hole for you anyway" out of nowhere
LMAO you can just hear dazai cackling from the couch as your bf just looks at you like 😳 with his mouth agape and everything
Dazai just walks up to you to pat your shoulder
"Kunikida, you've got quite the daring girlfriend!" "SHUT YOUR ANNOYING MOUTH UP"
kuni just quickly ties his hair back and BROO he nearly feels so violated and exposed 😭😭😭😭
Why would u do this to him AT WORK 😭
Ngl u and dazai prob team up to annoy him to death like hes just so fun to TEASE 😤
Anyway he just tells you to get back to work and when u tell him you need some help, he begrudgingly does it bc its important but you can still his hands shake a bit and his face is red as he tries to give you advice on ur work skskksks 💀
Be ready to get scolded for HOURS when yall are on ur way home 🤓
But dw u know how to shut his beautiful mouth up 🤭😋
But if you do the whole thing while yall are alone at work bc kuni decided to stay a bit longer then THATS a different story
Lets say he does the same thing again as above ^ and u say the same thing
He'll def turn a bit red and tell you that you cant say stuff like that during work!
"But kuni, we're alone and no ones gonna come back anyway. It's nearly 8pm after all."
The sun's setting and the only light that softly illuminates the room and it just steals ur fking breath bc 😭 hes so gorgeous with his hair open 😭😭😭
But u can still see his gaze on u, making ur knees weak bc BROO
horny jail for kuni too????? 💀💀💀
jk but he'll clear his throat and just say "a work place is still a work place so i cant let this inappropiate behavior just go like that..."
You're like standing infront of him and he grabs you by your waist, softly kneading it as he tells u to sit on his lap 😭
"Will teach that mouth of yours how to behave. Maybe after this you'll be a bit more tame. Think that idiot has been a bad influence on you like he has with everyone but don't worry. I'll be sure to teach you everything again."
I'll let you imagine the rest here 🤭🤭
Edogawa Ranpo
man just wants to eat his candy in peace, get ur horny ass away from him 🤨🤨🤨🤨
u thought dazai's a whole bitch???? Nah nah this is a MAN CHILD right here
This man wont give u what u want, nah he'll let u suffer alone LOL 💀💀
if this happens at work then 🤷 honestly depends on what mood he is i think
its a hot day in yokohama and the air conditioning is not rly helping yall
so u kinda wanna go grab some ice cream during ur break and u dont need to think twice about asking ur bf to go with u
fr he'll be SO annoying if u dont take him with u 💀 but dw he obviously knows why u r approaching him rn 🤩
but he takes a while to catch on why u just stopped and looked like a fish rn like a combo of this :0 and 😳
he just goes "🤨"
"Damn, the bathroom's close. 'am just a hole for you anyway so let's go" u legit go 😨 after realising what u just said
How no one hears that, idk but this hoe DEF heard u well
U r even more scared bc he just sits there and doesnt react but oops
only needs some sec before he opens his eyes and smirks at u 🤭
"Eh~ You've got guts, Y/N. Saying naughty stuff like that during work hours. Not that I mind though. Just shows how smitten you are by the World's Greatest Detective~"
"N-"
He just waves a finger at u like you're a lil kid getting scolded rn 💀
"Ah ah ah, don't try to refute that fact. Can't blame you for your reaction after all. It's still funny to me that all it took was me losening my tie, gliding a hand through my hair and open up a button of my shirt. ~ "
He just gets up and gives you a peck on your cheek before walking ahead
"I still want that ice ream though! If it's good then I'll give tending to your needs a thought!" 💀 THIS BITCH
but dw he'll make sure to show u how smitten he is after that bc ur mouth just tastes better after some sweet ice cream, right 🤓??
but u know whats the best combo with saying that sentence?
a jealous ranpo 🤩
like ok quick scenario
lets move this outside of work, ok?
So yall are walking around and some random dude decides to hit on u and hello 🤨cant he see that u r legit holding hands with the world's greatest detective??
u kindly tell the man to fuck off but nah hes not letting u chill
wraps protectively his arm around ur waist, clearly showing him that YOU. ARE. TAKEN.
"with that scrawny lookin dude???" bro hes got a death sentence 💀
time for ur bf to show him his skills 🤭 which means threatening him to expose everything about him
immediately tells him where he lives, what he does for a living, where he likes to shop, where his parents live. E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G
he just smirks and puffs his chest slightly out as that dude just fking runs off bc id be terrified too 😨
He deserves it tho ✋
"What a fool! Thinking he could challenge ME?! The greatest detective to ever live! See how terrified he was!" hes fking cackling before stopping as he sees ur face
brothers and sisters, we are LOVESTRUCK
and that hoe cann see that right away 💀
"Thank you..." like should we say how hot that was???? maybe 😳😳???
"And?" AH obviously he got us 😭
but we too embarassed to say smth but NICE, theres a nearby alley so u know where hes dragging us 🤩
Pressed up against the wall and hes just centimeters away from u as he asks again
"That wasn't everything you wanted to say, right~? Of course you find me" hot" but just wanna hear it from you, love."
"FUCK, am just a hole for u" 💀😳
goes wide eyed for a sec before chuckling and saying "Well, that wasn't what I wanted to hear but I'll let it count!"
His eyes travel down your neck before finally saying "Hm, I've got an idea in how to make everyone know that you're taken. I deserve a little treat after having saved you, no?" 🤭🤭🤭 got me blushing fr
Anyway problem solved, no one made moves onto u after that and it might turn into a habit before yall go out for the next times 🗣️
But no one's complaining hihi 🤭🤭😳
Fukuzawa Yukichi
oh god where do i even begin 💀
i gotta hold myself back from getting off topic when it comes to HIM 😭
honestly this man has seen and experienced so many things, u gotta do a lot to catch THIS man off guard 💀💀
bro he had to deal with mori's ass in his 20's for too long and STILL deals with it till this day 😐😐😐😐😐
not to mention the agency is like his fking orphanage at this point 😐
Already enough that his first child is still a child with his thirty years of living on this damn planet 🤓
lets say u work at the ADA as well and now yall r holding a meeting to go over some details for a random mission
Idk if its just me but... the way he sits there and is leading that whole shit, telling em what to do and how they could handle it the best way, while encouraging everyone to work hard n stuff... idk....
Its just so HOT 😳😳😳🤭
like hes so charismatic, fuck dazai, yall cant compare ANYONE to this man 😭😭😭😭😭😭 no wonder everyone follows him, id lick his shoes too 😭😭 HORNY JAIL FOR ME?????
anyway he dismisses everyone and the both of you are the last ones to be in the room bc u r just sitting at the table and staring at him like 😳
Dw my girl, hes been noticing the way you've been looking at him the whole time
"Is everything alright, my love? You've been staring at me for quite a while now."
"N-No its nothing 😳"
nah no need to hold back bc we know our knees r gonna buckle the second he takes ur hand
AND HE DOES 🤩🤩
his eyes slightly crinkle at the end as you can see amusement dance in them
"I know that look when something's on your mind. I'll respect your decision to not tell me but I'd like to know what it is."
honestly your red face is already proof enough whats on ur mind but how can u hide it when hes just looking at you with such an intense gaze UGH I LOVE THIS MAAAAAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭
"W-Well the way you just handle everything with ease even though its a lot of pressure and i dont know...it's just really admirable but also hot when you tell them what to do. wouldnt mind you doing that in the bedroom too, you know. id be a hole for u anytime like this... "
u tryna mumble that shit out of embarassement but he clearly heard you 💀
And he does go wide eyed out of surprise because DAMN thats still pretty straightforward and was kinda the last thing he'd thought you'd say but honestly... he doesnt mind it 💀
in facr hes liking it a bit too much for himself 💀💀 but who is he to complain? Especially when his lover is being so honest with him?
" So you want me to be a bit more authoritative in the bedroom? I-It might be a bit awkward for me to do so but if it's something you desire then we'll gladly try it out together. We should be done with the mission around the evening but if not then..."
you feel his hands gently cup your face as he presses his lips against yours before pulling a bit too soon for your liking
"Then I hope this will suffice until then. I'll be sure to thank you for your patience after everything's over."
THE ONLY THIINNGG
THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS SAY YESSSS 🤩🤩😭😭😭😭😭
IDC IF IM NOT SPEAKING FOR EVERYONE BC
We WILL wait for him OKAY 💀💀✋✋✋
he just strokes your hair lovingly as you try to hide ur face bc hes just too blinding
anyway as the both of u get ready to leave, yall just hear quick shuffling behind yall bc OOPS
THE DOOR WAS OPEN 💀
THE KIDS DIDNT LEAVE LOL 💀💀 THEY HEARD EVERYTHING
"😳☺️🤭😏" u can choose which ADA member would make which face 💀💀💀
ngl u prob sometimes call them ur children and BRO
ranpo actually annoys u for some candy ngl 💀
u once punched dazai's gut bc yk he'd ask the stupid question like
"if you're our mom, would that make you a milf?"
send him back to the MAFIA trash can he came from 🤩🤩
jk but might write a oneshot about him even tho hes difficult to write 💀
will def do a part 2 of this bc it gives me an excuse to simp for these men 💀
#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#bsd dazai#dazai x reader#bsd kunikida#kunikida x reader#bsd ranpo#ranpo x reader#bsd fukuzawa#fukuzawa x reader
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Hey there brook! I hope u having a nice day! Can I ask for a luffy x heroic fem reader headcanon? by heroic I mean that she completely dedicated her life to help and save ppl and that her purpose in life, she's strong and seems cold but when u get to know her she has empathy more than anyone else, I feel like this is the perfect character that luffy would fall in love with, pure kindness hiding behind a tough facade, she doesn't even like being called a hero, yet she is willing to do anything for those in need, slaves, poor villages, she goes against anything unjust without any fear, cause thats her purpose in life (sorry if that was too long 💀)
Hi anon <33 (it makes me so happy that someone finally addressed me as that💗)
today was a very chill day 😊 thank you! How’s yours?
Reader sounds so genuine with such a good background for a op character!!
(Don’t worry it’s not too long—I love to read:3)
Ngl luffy subconsciously sees a little bit of himself in you!!
like your hearts are so similar—gold!
of course he doesn’t directly think that way- but he feels the connection!
which is through helping!
you two never turn your backs on those who have never wronged you
its not even about if they’re on your side or not, as long as they haven’t wrong you? and they need help?
the both of you are on it 🤜🤛👍
you wanting to save others becomes admirable to more than just him, to all of the straw hats—chopper and usopp especially!
I’m gonna go ahead and say it here and now you remind both Jinbe and luffy of whitebeard and fishman island type thing
LIKE THAT’S HOW IT IS!!
Y/n is just her tbh 🤷♀️
and if the ops don’t like that? 🤨
🤜💥
how you like that? >:)
your strength may or may not be hereditary but either way if you don’t continue training or working out your gonna loose that strength eventually
which shows just how hard you train everyday!!
bro works harder than zoro 🗿
and we all know he don’t sleep on workin out
so y/n is a gorilla the og
its no wonder you be cookin the ops like breakfast👩🍳👍
this is literally turning into a rant about me being (name)’s biggest fan ok let’s move on
luffy saw you cold exterior and was like
😍😍😘🥰😘💍💋💋💋
LOLOLOL no but fr he looked straight past that
he always does- he ignored law’s and zoro’s why wouldn’t he with you-
and once he sees your true kindness???
Locked in like a booty hole 🔗
(ANYWAY I HAD TO🧍♀️)
yeah he pretty much busts right through that
he pretty much instantly demands you already are is nakama after that
Your empathy is what really swoops him off his feet tho
like luffy has a good sense of empathy so much so he can hear the voice of all things
and you probably can too! It’s highly likely!
(y/n could have her own anime at this point 🤷♀️😚)
But seriously the way he can just feel the way you long for others when they’re in pain just gets him right at the heartstrings you know?! 🥺❤️🩹
you comfort them so assuredly and keep your promise to win every time !!
luffy would admire himself more than he would know if he realized how alike the two of you are
tbh you probably admire luffy!!
like it’s a mutual thing, where you pretty much don’t see your own coolness you only see the other’s
so you admire each other unaware that your the same 😂💗
he absolutely adores and admires that empathetic part of you thoo!
he loves how your kind and tough
he wholeheartedly believes the strong should protect the weak, cuz that’s what a man does.
especially with nakama.
so he definitely understands your need to protect those who can’t do it for themselves
there are many times he can recall where he had to rely on others
so he loves that your the one who does that for people
and you don’t do it for the money or fame!
you don’t even view yourself as the hero and savior that bystanders see you as!
that’s so cool to him!
you background/past might’ve caused it! Like maybe you had no superhero! So you decided to become one!
he kinda looks up to you in a way 🤩
as someone who has also helped slaves and the poor he completely understands where you come from in your kindness
and it’s even cooler that you charge head on into battle for others without a second thought
that’s just how tough you are ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
not an ounce of fear in your eyes as you walk up to someone 20x the size of you to simply get back the bread they stole from a poor little child
LIKE HOW COOL IS THAT?! 💥💥
your a super hero!! Dundun duh-duuuuuun!!
🦸♀️‼️🤩
you have a goal just like him!! He wants to be the king of pirates and you wanna help others!
With the type of pirate he is?, those things go hand in hand 🤝
”STRAW HAT LUFFY AND PIRATE HERO (NAME) IS HERE!! RUN AWAY!!”
says the pirates who know they’ve done wrong doing!! 😎
also excuse (name)’s lame pirate alias i couldn’t think of one 😊💖
(Name) is so cool 😎 I admire her 💓
hope you enjoyed your hcs anon!! *super heroes away🦸♀️🚀*
#anime#anime and manga#luffyvace#anime headcanons#fluff headcanons#fluff#one piece#one piece headcanons#one piece x reader#straw hat pirates#monkey d luffy#luffy#monkey d. luffy#one piece luffy#straw hat luffy#strawhats#with: luffy#luffy headcanons#luffy x reader#luffy one piece#op luffy#op#luffy x female reader#luffy x y/n#luffy fluff#one piece fluff#one piece x you#one piece x y/n#one piece x amab reader#dear anon
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