#like literally every MINUTE of her free time is dedicated to dogs!!!

[rexscanonwife]

I love the fact that canonically Shepherd's only hobby is...dogs 😂😂

[endlessthxxghts]

What You Need

no outbreak!neighbor!joel miller x afab!reader || W/C: ≈6.3k

Summary: You come home from a horribly stressful day at University to everything in your family home a complete mess only for you to take care of. Joel helps you and gives you exactly what you need.

Warnings: SUUUPER self indulgent (sorry guys - it makes for a good plot tho, so i’m not all that sorry <3). no use of “y/n”, age gap (22/42), LATINO JOEL MILLER (idc what anyone says, he needs a warning), established relationship, no physical descriptions of reader, pet names (darlin’, sweet girl, pretty girl, princess, etc.), reader “takes care of everyone but who takes care of her” plot, more porn than plot lol, [SMUT 18+ MDNI] daddy kink, sir kink, heavy on the D/s dynamic (reader falls into subspace), cockwarming, unprotected piv (don’t be like these 2 idiots), breeding kink, cum eating, creampie, finger fucking, finger sucking (briefly), choking, hair pulling, brief thoughts about anal, overstimulation/multiple orgasms, hickeys/marking kink, squirting!, toy use, fluffy ending… i think that’s it?? (dear lord pls forgive me, for i have sinned)  if i missed anything, lmk pls!

Quick lil author’s note (see bottom for extended a/n): In all honesty, I wanna dedicate this (nasty) little one shot to @javierpena-inatacvest because if it wasn’t for our interactions as of late plus reading your “It’s Never Too Late” fic, I never would’ve said fuck it and just start writing with the intention of potentially showing it to the world. Thank you for inspiring me. You’re amazing & I literally love u so so much. You deserve phenomenal head all the love in the world for everything you do <3.

MAIN MASTERLIST || ONESHOT COLLECTION

It was a long day at university today, as per usual, but something about today completely drained you. 

You went to bed past midnight last night because you were busy finishing up a paper, only to get up at 7am the next morning to spend the next 13 hours juggling between classes, assignments, and studying in your “free” time. By the time you were ready to head back home, you were on your very last thread, begging to snap. You also completely spaced on nourishing your body today, the only thing running through it being water and coffee — lots of coffee. 

That’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that the minute you entered your family home, the entire house was an absolute mess, your pets weren’t given their food yet, and no dinner was made. And just like every other day since you grew into an acceptable height to reach the kitchen stove, you took care of it. All of it. 

You were so grateful to your family for allowing you to stay at home during your undergraduate years. It makes your in-state tuition even cheaper, and you get the comfort of your own bed. You knew not many people could rely on their parents and family like this, so you don’t want to sound selfish when you think about how you really wish you had your own place right about now. 

It’s been an hour and a half since you've been home, and you’re barely finishing up getting the food for your dogs when your phone dings in your back pocket. 

Didn’t text me when you got home, baby. Everything okay?

It was from Joel. The neighbor directly across from you, and a quickly growing family friend of yours. Your heart both saddens at the fact that you forgot your unspoken ritual, but it swells at the way he can read you. 

It all began at a small family party last year. You were 21 at the time, and for some reason you could not take your eyes off of your neighbor — who was 20 years your senior. It was always just shared glances or you bringing baked goods from your stress-baking endeavors, but at that party, there was a good period of time where your entire family went outside to the bonfire in the backyard to drink until their hearts gave out, leaving you with the dishes and a trashed house to clean. Joel noticed this, how much they relied on you. Whether it was coming over for a beer with your brothers or your father, or to fix an appliance for your older sister, they always walked all over you — when you did absolutely everything for them. So, he took matters into his own hands and went inside to help you clean up. 

You insisted he didn’t need to, but you knew he wouldn’t let up. So, there, you two worked, harmoniously, straightening up your home in half the time it would normally take you by yourself. The second you completed the last task, you reached for the remote and plopped yourself on the couch, half expecting Joel to go back outside with your family. Except, he plopped himself on the couch right next to you with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen, “What are we watchin’, darlin’?” 

“You know you could’ve stayed outside with everyone else, Miller,” you say as you turn your body to him with an eyebrow quirked up. He matches your expression, “Well, where’s the fun in that?” 

You break into a breathy little giggle, satisfied with his comeback, and you turn on the TV. With your family completely occupied outside, it was easy for either of you to make a move. And although Joel had been planning to for the last few months before this party, you took matters into your own hands and lifted his arm closest to you, tucked yourself into his side and pulled his arm back around your body. He looked down at you, smirking at your boldness while your eyes remained fixed on the movie before you. 

The next few hours of the night were filled with secret caresses and stolen kisses, and you have never felt more loved and appreciated in your life. From then on, you’ve been absolutely smitten with him, and he with you. 

Instead of replying, you dial him instead. Not even a third ring goes by before he answers, “Baby.” 

“Oh my god, hi, baby, I’m so sorry. I completely spaced. The minute I got home, the house was a mess, the dogs weren’t fed yet, dinner wasn’t even cooked, and I-”

“Mi amor,” he says with a deep breath, implicitly telling you to take one, “it’s okay, baby. I don’t wanna hear sorry from you. I’m sorry everythin’ is a mess, baby. Can I help? Need me to come over?”

Your rapid heart rate immediately starts to slow at how calming, ready and willing he is to give you anything you need. Your family would go absolutely insane if Joel just showed up right now with the sole intention of helping you take care of the home and yourself, but you don’t mention that. “No, baby, I promise I’m okay. I just need to relax. I need-” you pause for a moment to take another breath because you feel your body going panicky again. “I need…honestly, I just need you.” 

After the shitty day you’ve had today, having to take control of every single thing, honestly all you really want, and need, right now is for your control to be taken away. You don’t want to think, you don’t want to decide, and you don’t even want to figure out your dinner even though you haven’t eaten all day. 

He pauses for a moment, hearing the slight whine at your last statement. And just like that, Joel is at your rescue. “You need me, huh, babygirl?” 

“Mhm, please.” 

“Cross the street, darlin’, right now,” and he hangs up the phone. 

You bolt out of your seat, and sprint straight to the front door, quickly locking it. You think to say something on the Ring camera, letting your family know you’ll be back, but you know they won’t even think twice at your absence. You already cleaned the house and took care of the animals they begged for but don’t care for — why else would they look for you? 

Just in case they do check the cameras, however, you immediately veer to the left side of your driveway into the blind spots of your front door. 

Within seconds, you’re at his door about to knock, but he’s already opening the door, whispering a soft hi followed by your name, and pulling you into a tight embrace. He pulls you away for a second, assessing your face, assessing your needs. He sees your brows pulled together, eyes glossed over, and a pout beginning to form. You don’t need soft and comforting. You need stern, dominating control. You need nothing but pure bliss, and he’s going to give that to you. But first: 

“Safe words. Repeat em’.” 

“Red for hard stop, yellow if I’m starting to get uncomfortable, and green to keep going.” 

“That’s my girl,” he says and finally pulls you in for that rough, all-consuming kiss you’ve been craving. It’s a battle of teeth and tongue, and obviously he wins. His hands are roughly sliding down to the underside of your asscheeks, tightly pulling you into his hardening bulge. You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, but pause for a moment because he never gave you permission to. He senses that, and pulls back for just a moment. “Such a good fuckin’ girl for me. Go ‘head, baby, touch me.” 

You immediately bring your arms back up to grab ahold of him but too riled up in how he’s making you feel, you don’t notice the huge grumble your empty tummy makes. He pulls both your wrists back from his neck and puts an insufferable amount of space between you two. 

He says your name, filled with both concern and slight anger. “When was the last time you ate?” 

Silence. 

He lets go of your wrist and grabs your chin between his pointer and thumb, forcing you to meet his eyes. “I’m not askin’ again, baby.”

“Y-yesterday night,” you stumble out. 

“I’m not givin’ you a heavy meal ‘cause that’ll just upset your stomach, but I am fixin’ you somethin’. Go upstairs, change into the clothes on the bed, come back down and position yourself on the ottoman, like I taught ya last week, hm?”

Too enamored by his roughly smooth voice, all you can muster up is a nod. His eyebrow barely shifts, but that’s all a warning you need. “Yes, sir.” 

Padding up into his room, already feeling your insides start to float, you reach the edge of his bed to see a pair of black cheeky boxers, and a thin, fitted black tee. You quickly strip off everything you arrived here in and slip on the garments he gave you. Wasting no time, you head back down in a bee line to the ottoman. 

Like I taught ya last week, hm?

His words echo in your mind as you begin to recall last week’s endeavors. 

You were straddling his lap for a while now, slowly swallowing each other’s moans and making every part of each other’s body ingrained into your memories. Until suddenly he pulls back, eyes dead set with intention. “You trust me, baby?”

“Always, Joel,” you say back with as stern a voice as possible, confused as to why he’d ask such a thing. “Can I teach you somethin’, then, darlin’?”

You pull him into one more kiss before you breathily tell him yes and pull yourself off his lap to stand before him, fully at his disposal. 

He stands up, and without any verbal indications, he’s grabbing onto you and molding your body onto the ottoman in a position that begins to drift you off into subspace. You don’t know if it’s the fact that you're sitting on your knees with your legs tucked under you, or if it’s the slow drag of his hands caressing your inner thighs, pulling them farther apart from each other. Or maybe it’s the way he softly places your hands, palms up, atop of your thighs. Whatever the hell it is, you absolutely fucking love it. 

He feels you melting into every little touch he makes and he notes every little moment you slip further and further into your space. “Doin’ okay, my sweet girl?” he asks, voice dark and sweet. 

All you can pull out of yourself is a pathetic little whine and a head nod. 

“This is position number one. Remember it. We’ll learn more later, but this’ll do just fine for a while, baby.”

And with that, he kisses you ever so softly but with such a dominating, addictive energy that you feel yourself try to push up into him, and immediately he pulls away. 

“Sweet girl, Imma let it slide this time, but you do not move from this position unless given permission. Ya hear?”

You return to your original position and assure him how good you’ll be, “Won’t happen again, daddy, I promise.”

His jaw clenches at the honorific; that’s your number one tell that signifies you’ve completely submitted and fallen into subspace. He had originally planned on giving you what you asked for two days ago — “Please, Joel, I need you to fuck me, hard.” — but seeing you all docile and ready for him just makes him want to absolutely praise you in the most beautiful ways possible. 

So that’s what he did. For hours. An hour of bending you over the ottoman to eat your pussy like a man who had all the time in the world, an hour of fingering orgasm after orgasm out of you while his mouth switched between licking and marking your tits, and a few hours after that just slowly fucking you into his mattress, caressing and loving on every single part of your body he could reach. 

Let’s just say, your family didn’t see you for the rest of that day or the next, and you did not care one fucking bit. 

You shuffle onto the ottoman, your form now perfected after secretly practicing each night to increase your endurance of staying in such a position for however long Joel needed you to. 

You wait for about five more minutes before he comes back with a platter of all of your favorite fruits — strawberries, mangoes, and pineapple — and sits on the cushioned seat right in front of you. He melts at how good you sit for him, immediately disregarding his original plan and wanting you as close to him as possible. 

“My good, beautiful girl,” he says softly, in a way that you’re not sure if it was even meant for you to hear, but you still melt nonetheless. “Come,” he says as he pats his lap while setting the plate off to the table beside him. 

You shoot up like a lightning bolt, too excited at the thought of being able to feel him again, but before you can climb up, he grabs your hips, stopping you for a second. He slides his fingers into the hem of your underwear and slowly slides them completely off of you, setting them neatly on the ottoman behind you. He slowly reaches for his belt, then slides it off, letting it fall somewhere on the ground. You stand completely still, patiently waiting for whatever he’s going to give you, although your pussy is proving anything but patient. 

He undoes the button and zipper of his jeans and signals for you to come up. “Take me out, cariño.”

You climb up on his thighs, not fully straddling him to give yourself some room to tug his jeans and boxers down enough to pull him free. You pull him free with a small moan escaping your lips, wanting to dart your tongue out and lick his angry tip, but he didn’t give his permission for that. So, you begrudgingly let him go, and wait for what comes next. 

“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” he states nonchalantly as if his dick isn’t absolutely begging for you to reach out and grab it. “You’re gonna sit on my cock, keep me nice and warm. Without moving. Only until you’ve eaten all the fruit on this plate will I think about what’s gonna happen next. Got it?”

Your voice trembles, “Y-yes, sir.” 

He nods his head, while bringing his hand up to your mouth, signaling for you to let your drool fall. You scoot closer and lift your hips up while he pumps himself a few times to completely cover himself in your spit. With how much your cunt is dripping, you knew his lewd act was for his benefit and his only. 

The second his tip catches at your entrance, you can’t control the high-pitch whine that falls from your mouth, and he can’t stop himself from gripping your hips with a bruising force in an attempt to keep from mercilessly pounding up into you right here. 

“So f-fucking full,” you breath out as you sink lower and lower, to which he nearly growls with a strained, “So fucking tight.”

You finally bottom out, and you both take a moment to breathe and settle any impulsive thoughts of forgetting the purpose of tonight’s scene. You shift a little to adjust to settle your legs more comfortably at his sides, while he leans over to bring your plate of fruit closer. Both your actions together make you hiss in desperation.

“Color, baby?”

“Green, sir, green,” you promise him.

He smiles, genuine and bright, before his face goes dark and smug again. He picks up a piece of pineapple with his fingers. “Open.”

You lean in and take the sweet fruit from his fingers, making sure to lick any residual of the pineapple’s sweet juices. This goes on until you’ve finished every last piece he cut for you. Towards the last few pieces, your pussy was absolutely drenching his cock with your slick, both your thighs and his soaked. He could feel every pulse and every flutter, and no matter how patient he usually was, something in the air tonight was testing every ounce of his strength. 

He sets the plate aside and licks a mix of fruit juices and your spit clean off his fingers. You watch him, completely entranced by the way his tongue wraps around his thick fingers, and you can’t help but feel such an aching need to throw yourself at him. 

So you do. And to your surprise, he allows it. You pull both his arms to wrap around your middle and you push yourself into him for a searing kiss, whimpering for him to slip you his tongue. He indulges, and you immediately begin grinding your hips down onto his cock. He growls and wraps his arms tighter around you, adding more pressure into your grind, forcing you to break the kiss to regain your breath. “Fuck, baby. Such an impatient little one, aren’t ya?” He rasps out. 

Your hips move faster at his words, trying to will yourself to say something, anything, but you can’t. He notices your effort. “It’s okay, I’ve got you, baby, hm?”

And with that — with the notion that he’ll take care of you with anything you need — you completely fall. “Y- yes,” you moan out, “Da- fuck- daddy’s got me.”

Ah, there she is. Daddy’s girl. His back straightens so he’s towering over you more. He grabs your jaw tightly while you continue to pleasure yourself on his dick, forcing you to hold his stare. “Oh, sweet girl, daddy’s always gonna give ya what ya need. Promise, baby. Now be the good little girl I know you are and cum for me.”

You can feel him meet every movement of your hips, coaxing your high out of you faster than you realize. The wet, squelch your pussy makes every time you suck him in is enough to make him release his load, but he won’t. Not until you’ve came more times than ever before, not until you’re left completely fucked dumb. 

He snakes his hand down to the front, reaching for your clit, using his thumb to make mind-numbing, calculated circles. Your back arches at the sensation, head thrown back, and he brings his other free hand to the back of your neck to pull you closer into him. He ravishes your neck all over, sucking and biting all your weak spots, your pulse points, only to run his tongue over it in soothing motions, getting even more worked up at the marks that’ll form tomorrow. Then, he rips your shirt right in half, letting it fall to the ground. So much for makin’ you change, he thinks. He brings his mouth lower and lower, sucking one of your nipples in between his teeth, throwing you over the edge.

Your vision goes white, your entire body goes rigid, and your pussy uncontrollably flutters around his dick as he peppers your neck and chest with more kisses while you come back down. 

Your body is now soft and pliant, fully ready for whatever more Joel is going to give you. Your head is still high up in the clouds, and it will be for a while, but he always knows how to take care of you. You feel him slowly lift you off his dick and you hear him groan as he looks down. 

“God fucking damn, doll, look at you all over me. Such a fuckin’ mess.”

Your face heats up immediately, “I- I’m sorry, daddy, I-”

He grabs your jaw again and pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, all teeth and tongue. He pulls away bringing your bottom lip with him until he lets go, letting it fall back into place, now wet with his spit. “Don’t fuckin’ apologize for that. You made daddy so proud, baby. So much so that you’re gonna do it again for me,” he says as he squeezes your ass cheek. 

You squeak out a gasp and a breathy please. He stands up and makes his way to his bedroom with you still wrapped around him like a koala. 

Immediately he throws you on the bed, and before you’re able to scramble up towards the pillows, he’s already pushing you up by the thighs and kneeling between your spread legs. 

He releases one thigh for a quick second and holds his hand out, “Pillow, baby.” It takes your blissed mind one moment to register, but as soon as it does, you don’t waste a second, grabbing the pillow next to your head and eagerly handing it to him. He takes the pillow and taps your thigh twice, signaling for you to lift up. He secures the pillow under your hips then brings both his large hands back to the underside of your thighs, pushing your legs up so you’re nearly folded in half, giving him complete access to your dripping heat. 

If there’s one thing about Joel Miller, it’s that he loves to make a fucking mess. You thought your first sensation would be one flat lick up your cunt, but instead you feel warmth. Wet and warm and everywhere, and finally you realize, he let his mouth fill with spit only to absolutely drench you with it. Once he’s satisfied with his mess only then does he dive into you like a man starved. Licking and pushing into your slit while the tip of his nose rubs against your clit has you climaxing in an instant, your back arching and your hips lifting as much as they can with the weight of his hands on your thighs keeping you in place. 

He lets one hand slowly slide off your thigh and up your belly until he reaches one of your tits, switching between grabbing your entire breast and pinching your nipple. He continues to lick at you and circle your clit with his tongue until you’re a complete whining mess from the overstimulation. “Daddy, please,” you moan. 

He lifts his head, eyes as black as ever, “I’ve got you, princess, you can take it.” He reluctantly breaks away from your cunt and kisses his way up your body, taking his time with sloppy, open mouthed kisses near your hip bone and your sternum, knowing those areas drive you crazy the most. He makes sure to bite a little extra hard in some areas on his journey up, knowing you love to admire all the marks and bruises he makes on you. 

He sucks another bruise right underneath your jaw, making you push up into him more, while his hands continue to wander and grasp every part of your body that he can. Finally he reaches your mouth and gives you a sweet, long kiss to your mouth, distracting you enough that you don’t see him reach for the vibrator in the nightstand beside the bed. You feel him slide his hand back down your body, but you still don’t realize the vibrator’s presence until you feel the buzz directly on your clit. 

Out of pure reaction, your hand flies to the nape of his neck and tugs sharply, all while obscenities fall pathetically from your mouth, “Oh- f-fuck, daddy, yes! J-just like that, please, please don’t stop…” The quick-paced, blinding pleasure builds so fast it cuts off your dirty mouth and reduces you down to moans and gasps and whines of daddy, daddy, daddy. 

He slips two fingers into your pussy, sliding in with so much ease with how wet you are from a combination of your cream and his spit, all while he uses his other hand to push the vibrator into your bundle of nerves. 

You don’t know whether it has been one minute or one hour of this, but all you know is that you’ve got sweat lining your forehead, beading down your body, and you absolutely can’t take the buzzing pleasure with the constant come-here motion with his fingers anymore, you have to let go. Although this time, it feels different than the rest of the times Joel has made you cum. This time… this time it feels like- you have to pee? 

Immediately you start to panic and try to break away from his hold, unable to allow yourself to fucking pee all over him. “Daddy, wait! Please stop.. it- it feels different, like I.. I think I’m gonna pee..” you gasp, trying to articulate your thoughts while he continues his torture on your cunt. 

His eyes go wide and it immediately registers for him, “Fuck, baby, don’t worry about that, just let go. Come on, daddy’s got you. You trust me?” 

You hesitate for a moment, but still, you know the answer, “Y-yes, daddy.” 

“Good, my princess. Cum for me, fuckin’ soak me. I told you I wanted another fuckin’ mess,” he demands and fucks you even harder with his fingers and increases the pressure of the vibrator. 

You all but scream, definitely sure the neighbors can hear you, but you don’t give a fuck with the fireworks erupting behind your eyes and all throughout your body. Your body is still convulsing and you’re sure you’ve gone unconscious for a moment, but what brings you back to the Earth is the feeling of a warm, flat tongue licking you all over, cleaning you up. Then another sensation hits you: your bottom half is completely fucking drenched. You muster up all the strength you can to open your eyes and look down to see what’s going on. 

You see your big, broad man licking you up so sweetly, but from his mouth down he is also absolutely soaked, down to the collar of his dark green shirt he was wearing. 

Holy fuck. You fucking squirted. That was new. And with Joel’s reaction to it, you’re definitely sure that’s not gonna be the last time he pulls that out of you. 

He doesn’t realize you’re up again until you’re softly calling his attention back up to you and not your pussy. He makes eye contact with you, and his eyes fucking sparkle. Yeah, there’s no way this was a one time kind of thing. He sits back up on his haunches and strips himself of his shirt. He never pulled his jeans back up from when you used him to get off in the living room, so his dick has been patiently waiting for attention since your last two orgasms. 

He strips himself completely at the bottom half, too, leaving you with a perfect view of his toned chest, softer middle, and bulging arms and shoulders. Your cunt, all used and abused, fucking clenches on nothing at the naked sight of him. Of course, he fucking notices. 

“Oh, my poor baby. She’s just fuckin’ beggin’ to be filled, huh?” His southern drawl always intensifies whenever he gets spurred on like this. And, fuck, if it doesn’t make you fold more than you already do. 

You whine at his words and spread your legs even wider for him to see what’s rightfully his. 

“Just beggin’ to get pumped full of my fuckin’ cum, huh, princess? Is that what she wants? That what my babygirl wants?” 

“Please, daddy! Yes, that’s what I- what I need, daddy… need you ins- fuck- need you inside, daddy,” you ramble out, already fucked stupid but still begging for more. He situates himself on top of you, stopping your begging with a harsh kiss that leaves your already swollen lips throbbing. “Shhh, I’m gonna give you what you need, darlin’,” and he kisses you one more time as he begins to notch his tip at your entrance. 

He hooks his arm underneath your knee, hiking your one leg up higher to open you completely. You feel him start to push in deeper, and neither of you can help the initial gasp of how good it feels to be consumed by one another. He leans down again to kiss you, unable to get enough of your lips on his, and you bring your hand back up to the back of his head, keeping him close to you, feeling the exact same way. 

He completely bottoms out into you then, his breathing labored and you, a whimpering mess. No matter how many times you two have fucked, his sheer size always makes you feel like it’s the first time. He stays still to let you get used to the feeling again. You both lay there for a few minutes, kissing and consuming each other’s breaths and moans while he gives you rhythmic little grinds to stimulate your clit. Your pussy is sobbing at this point, enough wetness has accumulated that he’s able to slide right out until just the tip is in you and he pushes right back in, hard. 

He fucks you hard, maintaining this rhythm for a while, completely consumed by the way you wrap around him so perfectly. What started off as one leg hiked up around him turned into a complete mating press, giving you the maximum sensation of his length and girth pumping in and out of you. He always gets so foul-mouthed whenever you two end up in this position, not that you’d ever complain because you love hearing that rough, sexy Southern drawl utter absolute filth that only your ears will ever get to hear. 

“Fuck, darlin’, it’s like she was fuckin’ made for me. Wrapped around my cock, so fucking tight and warm. I could spend fuckin’ forever here wrapped up in your tight fuckin’ cunt,” he groans. 

“All for you, daddy, always,” you respond, purposefully squeezing your pussy tight in time with your words. That drives him absolutely fucking crazy that he pulls his arm upwards in between your legs that are resting on his torso and brings his hand up to wrap around your throat. “Say it again,” he growls, “tell me who the fuck this pussy belongs to, baby.” He squeezes the sides of your neck tighter, creating an even lighter sensation in your head coupled with the submissive daze you’ve been in since you got here. 

“F-fuck, d-daddy- shit,” you can’t focus on anything but the way he feels wrapped around your neck while balls deep inside of you. 

“Darlin’ girl,” he warns, “don’t make me repeat myself.”

You sob out, willing your body to respond to him, willing your body to obey, “Th- this pussy belongs t- to-“ you take a breath, “to you, daddy, only you. Forever.” 

He releases your throat and pulls your legs down from the mating press, wrapping them around his waist instead. He places one hand at the back of your head and the other on the headboard, then kisses you furiously before breaking away, “God damn f-fuckin’ right, princess. All fuckin’ mine to do whatever I fuckin’ want.” And with that, he’s slamming into you, his hand on the headboard in a (wasted) attempt to save the wall from the constant banging. 

“Touch that pretty little clit, princess,” he breathes out, chasing his own release now with the sole intention of marking you with his seed. One hand still on his neck, the other snakes down to rub your clit in fast, messy circles, your body begging to cum for a fourth time tonight. “Daddy,” you whine out again, the honorific clearly being your only vocabulary for tonight. 

“I know, honey, I know,” he coos, “Cum for me, mama, and I’ll fill you up right fuckin’ now,” he sucks on your bottom lip, “You want that, baby? To be pumped full of me?” He knows your answer, yet he still asks anyway knowing how much his words affect you. 

“Please, God, yes, fill me up… I need your cum so fucking badly, I need to feel you, please,” you beg, only spurring him on more. 

With both of your mouths spilling such dirty words, his lips anywhere they can reach with the combination of you playing with your clit and him pounding into you, your body enters the astral plane yet again for the fourth time tonight. Though, this time, you force your body to come back down, so you can feel his warmth spill into you. 

It only takes but a few more thrusts after you climax for him to follow suit, roaring out as hot, thick ropes of cum spill into you, overflowing and dripping out of your sore cunt. He slowly pulls out, labored breathing, sits back up and just watches. Watches as your pussy clenches to keep him locked inside of you, watches as his load drips down your folds over your tight, little asshole. Another day, he thinks to himself with a smirk. 

He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until his fingers are engrossed in the thick combination of your releases. You moan out at the sensitivity of your pussy, but Joel doesn’t care. He slips his middle and ring finger in, feeling just how much he filled you up. And before you know it, he’s pumping in and out of you yet again, his eyes completely focused on your glistening sex, hitting that spongy spot inside of you that has you fluttering for another fucking release. 

“Ahh,” you hiss, not knowing whether you want him to stop or keep going. He uses his other hand to rub on your clit. Fuck. Yeah, okay, you want him to keep going. “Shit, daddy, I’m gonna cum again,” you say as you scramble to get ahold of the bedsheets. 

Joel’s gaze breaks away from your cunt to look at you, he smirks like the devil, “Oh, yeah, honey? Gonna give me another one? Come on, baby, I know you have it in you,” he slips a third finger inside. You whine at the stretch. “One more mess, baby, and then I’ll take care of you, I gotcha,” he says for comfort. 

You’re nearing the point where you guys usually begin to transition into aftercare, and he knows. He always knows. But he also knows that today you need a little extra push, so he gives it to you. 

The thrusts of his fingers don’t come to a stop, but they exponentially slow. “Give me a color, mi amor,” he softly encourages. Even with your erratic breathing, you’re able to force out, “Oh my god, daddy, green, green, green, please go faster, just like before, please-” 

He quickly leans forward and stops your blabbering with a chaste kiss and chuckles when he pulls back, “My god, I love you so much, princess.” Then his fingers pick back up to the speed you were so desperately loving before, his and your cum leaking out all over the inside of your thighs. 

“Fuck, daddy, I love you so fucking much, fuck, thank you, thank you,” you cry out. A few more pumps and a few more circles to your clit and you’re cumming for the fifth (and final) time tonight. Joel groans at the way you finish on his fingers, and it’s his mouth that blabbers out this time.

“Shit, baby, yes, soak my fuckin’ fingers, let me feel you, fuck-” He’s so enthralled at the sight before him, he doesn’t hear you pleading for him to stop pushing in and out until the honorific fades, “Baby, baby, baby,” you frantically breathe. 

He makes eye contact with you again and realizes how caught up he was in you. “Oh, darlin’, shit, I’m sorry, mi amor. What’s your color, baby? Fuck, I’m sorry-” 

It’s you this time who forces your entire wobbly body to push up and meet him in a bruising kiss. “Stop, daddy,” you say with a lilt in your tone, signaling to Joel that you’re back from subspace. You smirk, “My color is green, cowboy, but I really need you to run me a warm bath now because I can’t move a single muscle with how you had me, baby,” and pull him in once more for another kiss. 

His smugness returns and he pushes you back down on his bed, peppering your face and neck with kisses, forcing sweet out-of-breath giggles from you. “That, I can do, baby. May I join you?”

Your face completely softens, your stresses and worries from the last 24 hours completely nonexistent. “I’d be mad if you didn’t, Miller.” 

The next hour and a half — or until the bath water becomes tepid — is spent with him cherishing your body, washing you with your lavender, oat milk body wash you love so much, ultimately just helping you softly come down from your oxytocin high. 

You’ve never felt more loved, appreciated, or taken care of in your life. He always makes sure your come down is smooth and unnoticeable as you fall from a blissed state of mind to one of pure love and adoration. As long as you have him in your life, you truly believe you have all of what you need. 

As he’s drying your body up and slipping you into one of his t-shirts, your stomach growls… loudly. 

“Darlin’...” 

You pull away from his grasp, jokingly rolling your eyes while smirking, “Yeah, yeah, Miller. Come on. Gotta fill me up again, don’tcha, cowboy?” 

“Jesus Christ,” he breathes out followed by your name, “Tryna put me in an early fuckin’ grave or what?”

Author’s note - extended: Hi guys! I birthed this little one shot on a Friday night while sippin’ on a glass of whiskey and stressing about the stressful entire week I just had. This isn’t my first time writing, in general, but this is my first time writing with the intention of truly producing a story out of it.. this is also my first story I’m posting, so I’m very nervous. Even if just one other person reads this and enjoys it, that’s all that matters to me <3 I also wanna give a quick thank you to my bestie, who’s an AVID smut reader, for proofreading this. She said, and I quote, “gotta change my panties” and “she’s growling” after reading this LMAOO. So, thank you for that, bestie. I love you with my whole heart.

As with any fic, reblog and comments are very much appreciated!! All feedback is appreciated, too!!! Please do let me know how you liked this, and if there's anything specific I could work to improve, I'd love to know! I hope I did okay for my first actual attempt at smut.

Much love to everyone! <3

.

EDIT: As of the new year 2024, I no longer do taglists!! Follow @endlessthxxghtsnotifs and turn on the notifications to be updated when new stories come out!!

[finelinevogue]

hiii ! could you write something about harry stalking y/n's Instagram but her account is private, so he sends a request and she accepts and she follows him back, and harry likes her pics (which aren't many) and tries to find out if she do you have a boyfriend or something?

this might be quite short but i hope this is alright for you;

“What’s the correct reaction I should use when Harry Styles requests to follow me?”

You asked your best friend, Heather, as you were both lounging on your bed. She was sat up against the headboard and you lay the opposite way around, holding you phone to the ceiling.

It was just another simple day for the two of you. You’d worked a long shift at the local supermarket and Heather had worker her long shift at the cat shelter, both of you now just having some down time to relax and regroup your thoughts before you even thought to start on dinner. Heather, your best friend and roommate, was an absolute tyrant in the kitchen which meant you were often the one to cook dinner. Tonight was shrimp risotto, if you could be bothered to get out of bed to actually make it. However you were no grounded to your bed more than ever, shocked with the current notification staring you square in the eyes.

“Why?” Heather laughed at you, not noticing your heavily serious face to your question, “you having your daily dreams over the man again?”

Okay, you didn’t have daily dreams… Nightly dreams, maybe. You had liked Harry for a while actually, perhaps since he had cut his hair for a movie he had done. You weren’t a huge fan of his and listened to his music occasionally - like when you were folding laundry or on a long train ride - but you weren’t dedicated to him. He was cute and his voice sounded really lovely. He was definitely the face you used in your nighttime scenarios, but you would never admit that out loud.

“No,” you briefly paused to find the right words to say, “because Harry Styles just requested to follow me.”

“You— What!” Heather sprung up from her position on the bed, but you stayed still and eyes fixed to your phone.

“Appropriate reaction?” You asked again, handing her your phone so she could see for herself.

“Um, ascending into heaven, I don’t know do I? The really question is why the fuck haven’t you accepted it?” She was quick to answer your question and even quicker to ask hers, looking at you as if you’d just told her you were born with only one tit.

“Maybe because it’s Harry Styles!” You exclaimed, sitting up and looking at her now the same way she had just done you.

“Babe, honey, that’s exactly why you need to accept him.” Tossing you back your phone you caught it as you looked to her. God, what was happening? You’d been stacking shelves at a supermarket 3 hours ago and now you were about to accept a follow request from Harry Styles - like the same man who you think about every night before bed and yet know barely anything about.

“Oh fuck it.” You clicked accept and then followed him back, switching your phone off and throwing it down onto the bed.

“Did you..”

“Yeah.”

“So…”

“Yeah.”

Then you started to freak.

It hit you that Harry Styles could see all of your instagram photos - even the ones you were tagged in. Then you questioned whether he would even bother to stalk you? Was he that kind of person? How did he even find you in the first place? You had 489 followers to his near 50 million, so it’s not exactly like he just saw you appear in his notifications - you didn’t even follow him until 30 seconds ago. Let’s say he did see your photos, what would he see? For starters there’s the photos of you and your parents dogs and then just your parents. There’s you on the beach and you in the snow. There’s you with friends and still some posted of people you didn’t like anymore. It was okay.

“Do you think he’s wanking off to that picture of you in your lingerie?” Heather broke the silence.

“What?” You looked at her baffled by such a question.

“You know? The one you just posted like two days ago because it was body positivity week at the gym?”

Fuck.

You’d completely forgotten about that photo and you scrambled quick for your phone. God, you couldn’t let Harry see you like that. You’d felt really, really, good when you’d posted it, dressed in your black lingerie from Victorias Secret, but now you were insecure that Harry could’ve looked at the photo and… well, vomited maybe?

“Oh no, no, no.” You repeated as you went back onto Instagram, only to freeze. “Holy fuck balls.”

If your mother heard the tone of your tongue from the past 5 minutes, she would have you strung up on her washing line by your toes. Okay not literally, but something similar.

“What? What’s happened?” Heather pressed, nosy to the current situation.

“He liked the photo.”

“He what?” Heather shouted, a shit eating grin on her face.

“Oh my fuck he liked the photo.” You put the phone on the bed and got up off to stand up, pacing whilst your rubbed your hands over your stressed temples. “He liked the look.” You repeated to yourself, trying to convince yourself that this was actually happening.

Harry Styles had seen a photo of you in your lingerie. That is not something you’d ever thought you’d ever say, but there’s the fact. Like he’d seen you - your body. You paced the length of your bedroom, completely in your own head wondering where you’d go in your life past this moment. Crawling under a heavy rock to live forever sounded pretty good right now though.

“Have you done freaking out yet?” Heather asked sarcastically, watching you pace with your phone in her hands.

“No. Yes. Maybe. Is this an acceptable reaction?” You stressed your hands through your hair and cupped your hand over your mouth in shock that this was genuinely happening.

“So I shouldn’t tell you that he’s also sent a direct message?” She asked rhetorically, making you stop wearing a track into your carpet.

“He…”

“Yeah.”

“Saying?”

“Do you want to sit down first or…” Heather asked, clearly concerned you weren’t handling this all very well.

“No. I’d rather just collapse afterwards.” You nodded your head, egging her to continue.

“Okay…” She rolled her eyes and returned her eyes to the screen to start reading out the message. “Y/N—”

“Oh jesus.” You interrupted, clutching onto your desk chair as your legs went weak and you had to sit down. Heather laughed at you before continuing, her eyes lighting up as she skim read the message.

“I hope you’re having a lovely day. I hope you don’t find my follow request or liking of your photos too creepy or forward, it’s just I think you’re really beautiful and ever since I heard about you I just had to know who you were. If you don’t want to reply, that’s alright I understand, but if you would like to know me a bit more as I would like to get to know you then feel free to call me or just message back. If, however, you are already seeing someone I apologise for this message to both you and your partner. Wishing you all the best, H. x”

Breathe check. Yes, still breathing.

“Y/N?” Heather asked, noticing you were struck still.

“Okay…” You let out a shaky breathe, doing some internal meditation to try and calm the buzzing of nerves that were rushing throughout your entire body.

“Y/N?” Heather snapped you out of your attempt of peace. “What do you want to do now?”

“He called me beautiful.” You smiled at her she smiled back, happy that you were happy.

“He also said he had heard about you from somewhere?” Heather asked, having picked up on that important bit of information.

“And he wants to get to know me.”

“Yes, okay lover-woman, let’s focus here.”

“Right, yes. Focus.” You nodded your head, still in a dreamy daze.

“Should we call him?” Heather asked.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” You threw your hands up in the air, which shocked you both. “Woah, sorry. Do you seriously think he’s going to want to listen to me paralysed at the lips? No.”

“So, text?”

“Text, yes.” You sighed, coming to sit on the bed next to her and draft a message back to the man who was about to change your life.

[mayakern]

No pressure but I'd love to hear some more puppy tips! Im a recent totally independent adult and Id love to get a puppy at some point but def need some info before I take on the responsibility (I had no clue their bladder develops at 5 months even though Ive been researching which is why I wonder if you have any more tips)

sorry in advance bc this is gonna be a LOT of preamble, but any time you bring an animal into your home it’s a huge responsibility and requires a lot of preparation.

so in general i am a huge advocate for adopting adult animals, especially dogs — UNLESS you have very specific lifestyle requirements (like we do). we needed a dog that was good with cats, other dogs, AND toddlers… which is just not a thing you can easily find adopting through a shelter, especially not in our area (NYC residents snatch up all the dogs within like a 5 hour radius) and ESPECIALLY not after covid (when a ton of people adopted dogs). which meant we needed to get a puppy so we could train in the behavior we needed.

we knew we wanted a companion dog for annie and that i want to have dogs forever and that it is a LOT easier to train in a puppy if you have an adult dog to model behavior from. so with our needs in mind, we started looking for a dog that would be compatible both with our lifestyle and with annie’s personality/energy level (she is a mid to low energy sheep dog and can be kind of a crab ass, but she is also very gentle and doesn’t like playing with dogs who are bigger than her). we did our own research and also talked to a couple friends of ours who work as or have worked as vet techs/other dog jobs.

with all that in mind… a LOT of what is good for a new puppy is going to be breed specific. if you’re getting a mutt, this can be difficult because puppies can look like literally anything so you really have no idea what they are until they’ve grown up a bit — and even then it can be tricky. like, we’re PRETTY sure annie is a border collie/australian shepherd mix because she looks like a border collie but acts like an aussie, but mixed breeds can be difficult because even if you’re reasonably certain which breeds go into the grab bag that is your dog, you never know which traits actually made it in. this is part of why standardized breeds can be such a big deal, since temperament is a BIG part of the package.

we got insanely lucky with annie because we knew her original owner so we had already met (and loved) her, knew her temperament, and that she was good with cats and gentle enough that toddlers would probably be fine too.

ALL THIS TO SAY…. the 5 month bladder control is specific to shibas. other puppies might have a similar timeline but i’m not sure. also, in general it’s recommended to take your puppy out with a frequency equivalent to the amount of months they have been alive (so if 2 months, then a potty break every 2 hours). this isn’t exact and you’ll need to get to know your dog. puppies also have very small bladders and relatively little bladder control (and don’t know they need to control it) and depending on the size of the dog, it is very normal for them to need to pee within 10-30 minutes of drinking water. because of this, it’s a good idea to give your puppy periodic planned water breaks and then take them outside instead of just leaving water out all the time. one thing i have done to figure out where rodeo is at is to give him water while we’re at the park (i have a collapsible water bowl and i bring a water bottle for the 3 of us) and then time him from when he drinks to when he pees, since in that situation he has total free reign over his potty time.

puppies need a LOT of recreation and in addition to walks, they need mental stimulation. scent games are invaluable for this!! i like to scatter a mixture of kibble and treats (in small sizes) across either the backyard or a safe portion of park and let the dogs sniff out and forage. they LOVE this shit. it might take some patience with a puppy if you don’t already have an adult dog to model the behavior, but once they get it they love it (especially if you use a treat they love). i literally cannot recommend this enough, it gets out SO many puppy beans in one go and i get to just chill behind them and like play phone games or call a friend. once your dog is used to this you can gradually decrease the ratio of high value vs low value treats for this, but puppies get bored easily so i recommend like… high mid value, if that makes sense. like you don’t need to give them hot dogs for this, but they probably won’t be super pumped for just kibbles. BUT if they ever are good with just kibbies, then you can use this method for every meal and it will make them so tired. it’s great!!

aaaand my last big tip is to clicker train. this can be a bit confusing to read about so i recommend watching videos to familiarize yourself with how it works, but it is SUPER worth it! puppies pick up on reward patterns super fast but do not have a long attention span and might have no idea what you’re rewarding them for if you don’t start them out with a clicker. i can’t speak for less clever breeds, but rodeo picked up the clicker training in the first day and i accidentally trained the corgi puppy downstairs on the clicker too since he and rodeo play together so much lol.

anyway this was a horrifically long post, i hope it helps. honestly i would not recommend getting a puppy unless you can work from home and have a decent chunk of time to dedicate to raising a literal baby (in fur form).

[snelbz]

The Ranch {4}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Collaboration: @tacmc x @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty

Cassian rode until the sun had gone down, and after he had everything put away and Daisy was in her stall to rest for the night, he was crashing into his cabin, still filled with frustration and anger. Beau jumped off the recliner and met Cassian by the door, tail wagging. 

After kicking off his muddy boots, Cassian grabbed the bottle of bourbon out of his fridge and slumped down into his recliner before putting the cool bottle to his lips. 

As he was out riding Daisy, he felt guilty, at first, for the things he had said to Nesta in the kitchen. He hadn’t been fair, and he knew it. He was pissed, and felt stupid for the entire ordeal, and as usual, he had let out those feelings by way of smartass comments in hopes to get a rise out of her.

It had worked, of course, but a little too well. She had threatened to fire him. He, who had dedicated almost a decade to this ranch, who had put his heart and soul into everything he had done over the last eight years. He loved working the ranch, and she wanted to fire him? Why? Because what they had done was inappropriate.

It was utter bullshit. 

They were both there that night, and she had wanted it every bit as much as he had. He remembered the fire, the longing, in her eyes, the soft whimpers escaping her lips as his tongue explored her body. He hadn’t imagined it. She wanted him, all of him, but then she left.

Inappropriate.

The word rang through him, repeated in his mind, like a fucking joke.

He grabbed his phone and called Azriel. It rang three times before his brother answered with a breathless, “Hello?”

Cassian gave a quick glance to the clock on the microwave, seeing it was 9:58 on a Saturday night. The one night that both Elain and Azriel are off work and together. And have given their families strict instructions not to call unless it was an emergency.

“Shit, fuck, it’s Saturday, y’all are- well, you know I know what you were doing, but I don’t want to say it because then I’ll think about it and-.”

“Cassian,” Azriel laughed, cutting him off. “I’m at the gym.” He laughed again as he heard Cass breath a sigh of relief, but explained before he could ask. “They needed El to work a double in the NICU today so she gets tomorrow off. So maybe don’t call tomorrow, yeah?”

He cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck. “Right, sorry about that. This would have been real awkward.”

Az snorted on the other end of the phone and the telltale echo Cass could hear in the background told him he’d made his way into the locker room. “Less awkward than that time you took a buckle bunny back to the room in Houston, didn’t tell me or Rhys, and we walked in right when you were about to-.”

“Okay, yes, less awkward than that,” Cass mumbled, all by himself, but still feeling the tips of his ears burn.

He could hear Azriel’s deep laughter on the other end of the phone and when he returned the phone to his ear, he asked, “So what’s got you so out of sorts that you called me on a Saturday night?”

Cassian debated on giving him a little bit of back story, but he’d seen how they were last night. Maybe Az could try and give him a little insight, since he had successfully figured out one of the Archeron sisters.

“I almost fucked Nesta last night.” There was absolute silence on the other end. Cassian pulled the phone from his ear to make sure he hadn't dropped the call somehow. “Az?”

“Rhys and I will be over in twenty.”

The line went dead and Cassian sighed, looking over at Beau. The pup ran over and licked Cassian’s outstretched hand as he said in a singsong voice, “Dad’s in trouble…”

Beau barked as if to say, Trust me, I know. And the pup’s following grin said, And I can’t wait to watch you get your ass handed to you.

Cassian sighed as he fell back in his recliner and waited - waited for his brothers to come give him hell.

Maybe he deserved hell.

He didn’t know.

He took another gulp from the bottle. 

Beau jumped up on Cassian’s lap and Cassian let out a long string of curses as he almost spilled his bourbon. Beau was a massive puppy and didn’t understand that he wasn’t a lap dog anymore. Cass didn’t have the heart to tell him either.

Beau was still sprawled across Cassian’s lap, getting his belly rubbed, twenty minutes later, when the cabin door was thrown open.

Azriel was still dressed in his sweaty gym clothes. Cassian assumed he had stopped by to pick up Rhys on the way, who was wearing old sweatpants and a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. 

Beau hopped off Cassian, at last, to greet his uncles as Rhysand said, “Feyre says fuck you.”

Cassian blinked. “Wh- you told her?”

Rhysand shrugged, shutting the front door. “I had to let her know where I was going.”

Cassian groaned. “Couldn’t have said you were just coming over for a drink?”

Azriel chuckled as Rhysand said, “I could’ve, but then I couldn’t watch her kick your ass the next time she sees you.”

Cass leaned back in the recliner, covering his face with his hands. The words were muffled as he said, “She would have figured out a reason to anyways, she always does.”

He heard the couch next to him groan as one of his brothers sat down, but Rhys’ voice came from the kitchen when she replied. “Yeah, but now I don’t have to get my ass kicked when she finds out that I knew, and didn’t tell her.”

Cass moved his hands away to see Azriel shaking his head as he threw his sweaty tennis shoes across the room. Beau immediately chased them to the corner, but a whistle from Cassian had him begrudgingly trotting back to his place on the floor in front of the recliner. He flopped down with a huff.

Azriel, deciding to no longer beat around the bush, asked, “Dude, what the hell? You said you two couldn’t even be in the same room without wanting to scream at each other when you called me the day before yesterday.”

Cassian leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands. “I don’t know, I just- she just gets under my skin.”

“She’s Nesta Archeron,” Rhysand announced, finally appearing from the small kitchen. There was a bottle of cheap whiskey in one hand and three glasses in the other. “The Cauldron made her with the sole purpose of getting under people’s skin.”

“Rhys,” Azriel warned.

He placed the contents on the small table between the couch and recliner and held up his hands in surrender. “Now, Cassian, because you’ve chosen to make yet another stupid decision, and because the three of us chose to make that stupid pact at seventeen-years-old, we’re here to be miserable with you.” He cracked the seal and put the plastic bottle of liquor to his lips, the burn of the alcohol damn near painful. He handed the bottle to Cass and he blew out a harsh breath and shook his head.

He happily took it and chugged much more than most humans typically would. When he put the bottle down and opened his eyes, Azriel and Rhysand were watching him.

Azriel let out a low whistle. “You’re in worse shape than I thought.”

“I talked to her about it this afternoon, too,” Cassian said, head already feeling light. “It didn’t go well.”

“Did you….expect it to?” Rhysand asked, brows raised as they passed around the bottle.

Cassian didn’t reply. He didn’t have a good answer. Yes, he had, but he wasn’t sure why.

“Well,” Azriel went on, clearing his throat. “We’re here to take your mind off of it.”

“Drink,” Rhysand said, handing the bottle to Cassian, once more. He did, but not quite as deeply as the first. “And start at the beginning.”

Cassian handed the bottle back to him. “You both may want to start drinking, too,” he said, closing his eyes and reclining back in the chair.

Rhys did as he was told, but Azriel asked, “And why’s that?”

“Because it all started with me walking into the kitchen in the main house to find her perky, little ass up in the air, in the tightest pair of jeans shorts I've ever seen, and ended with her legs wrapped around my waist and her tits in my mouth, against that wall.” Cassian gestured towards the doorway, eyes still closed.

He heard two more heavy swallows.

“I assume something happened between those two moments,” Azriel muttered. 

Cassian kept his eyes closed as he said, “I blame the alcohol.”

“Bullshit,” Rhysand said, the couch creaking as he shifted his weight. “Your alcohol tolerance is impressive, to say the least.” 

“We did run into each other, literally, after our shower yesterday afternoon,” Cassian muttered. “That didn’t help.”

A pause, then Azriel said, “Our? As in...together?”

Cassian opened his eyes just to roll them. “No. She was getting ready in the main house, too, I didn’t know.”

Rhysand gave him a knowing look.

“I didn’t know,” Cassian repeated, words clipped. 

“Alright, alright,” Rhysand mumbled, laughing quietly as he took the bottle from Azriel. “Not to mention that you drove her to and from the bar last night.”

“We came back here, I invited her in,” he went on, taking the bottle from Rhysand and fiddling with the label. “We drank a little, got to know each other a little… She wanted it.”

“You think every woman wants to fuck you,” Rhysand said, as Cassian took a sip of whiskey.

He leaned forward, setting the bottle on the side table and rested his knees on his hands. “Yeah, well, when you’re playing Twenty Questions, and someone says ‘If given the chance, would you fuck me’, what the hell would you think?”

They were both quiet.

“She...asked you that?” Azriel asked, reaching across Rhys for the bottle.

“Swear on my mother’s grave.” Cassian stood up and began pacing in front of the television. “Gods, I tried to fucking not, too. I took the drink instead of answering the question and then I left her out here.” He ran a hand through his hair, pulling it free from the tie it’d been in all day. “I went back into my room and I was going to let her leave and give her some bullshit story about getting sick or something this morning whenever I saw her.” He paused and looked over at that empty recliner, looked at where she’d been sitting just a night ago. “But then I thought, what if I don’t get this chance again? This woman, she’s all that I’ve thought about for the last three days and I just…”

Cassian trailed off and Azriel, without looking away from his brother, nudged Rhys’ arm. “I think we might need that second bottle you left out in the truck.”

“Yeah,” Rhysand said, blinking, before hauling ass out of the cabin. He came back a minute later, with an unopened bottle, as Cassian continued to pace in his little living room.

“Okay,” Rhysand said, settling back into the couch and twisting open the bottle. “Continue.”

Cassian sighed, running a hand, frustratingly, through his hair. “It got a little out of control, for a while...things were getting heated….really fucking heated. Then, she heard my phone vibrate, thanks to you assholes, and I wasn’t going to get it, because, obviously, my phone was the last thing on my mind, but then she kept telling me to answer the fucking phone, so I did.” The words rushed out of him, and as he took another step, he swayed, then cursed. “I looked at the texts, quickly, then when I looked over my shoulder, the front door was open and she was gone.”

“Shit,” Azriel muttered, Rhysand nodded. “She didn’t say anything?”

Cass scooped the near empty bottle from the table and slumped back into the chair. Beau sat up and rested his head on Cassian’s knee. He scratched behind his ear and shook his head, putting his lips to the bottle. He drained the rest of it.

“Should I offer you this before I ask how this morning went?” Rhys asked, extending his hand.

Cassian again shook his head, but stood up and made his way to the kitchen, grabbing a few bottled waters. Didn’t matter if he got shitfaced drunk tonight, he’d still have to be up with the sun to start his day. He sat back down and handed the other two bottles to his brothers.

“It wasn’t this morning, it was about, oh,” he glanced at the clock again. “Three hours ago, give or take.” He took a swig from the cool bottle and set it down. “I gave her space, all day, so she could come up with whatever excuse she wanted, and then when I finally run into her, she’s in this extravagant fucking kitchen, cooking the most delicious looking damn steak I’ve ever seen, and the sun was lighting up her eyes and…” Cass reached for the whiskey again. “She said, it was inappropriate.”

“So she apologized?” Azriel asked, clearly confused.

“Fuck, no, us, what we did, that was inappropriate.” Cassian sighed and dragged a hand down his face. “She says since she’s ‘technically my boss’, we can’t.”

A look of understanding passed between them both.

“What?” Cass asked, noticing the two of them.

“Absolutely not,” was all Azriel said, when Rhys turned to look at him.

Rhys said, “If he’s getting into this thing, he needs to-.”

“Okay, but he’s clearly not getting into it, since Nesta shut him down. I don’t know about you, but I like my balls being-.”

“Oh, shut up, you aren’t even engaged yet, you think you’ll have it bad?”

“Hey!” Cassian said, loudly. They both looked at him. “Someone wanna tell me what the hell you’re talking about?”

Rhysand looked at Azriel. “You brought it up.”

“Fuck you,” he mumbled under his breath, but sighed and looked at Cass. “You didn’t hear this from us and if Elain or Feyre ask, you sure as shit didn’t hear this from us.” Cassian, eyebrows raised, nodded. Azriel looked at Rhys one more time and when he gestured for him to go on, Az sighed. “Nesta nearly got kicked out of the most prestigious culinary institute in France for having an affair with her instructor.”

Cassian stilled.

No one said a word as Cassian stared at Azriel. Even Beau could sense the tension, as he whined quietly, breaking the silence. 

“Sorry, what?” Cassian asked, at last. 

“Happened a few years ago, at the end of her final semester,” Azriel continued, slowly, cautiously. “She was of age, of course, and he was in his late-twenties. She was in love with him, apparently, but when the board found out...well, it didn’t go well. She had to beg and plead to be allowed to finish school and receive her diploma, and she obviously broke it off with the guy, too. And, considering you are technically under her employment…”

Cassian opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out. It suddenly all made sense - at least, it made more sense than it had hours before. 

And he had been a complete dick to her, then. 

“Fuck,” Rhysand breathed, “you look like you’re about to puke.”

Azriel slowly rose to his feet and hurried into the kitchen. He came back to the living room with the garbage can, and tentatively set it down in front of Cassian. 

Who still wasn’t saying a word.

“Dude, do you think you should-.”

The sound of retching is all that could be heard in the small cabin.

“Oh shit!” Rhys cried, jumping back into the seat Azriel had just vacated as Cassian emptied the contents of his stomach into the trash can.

He coughed, bracing his hands on the edges of the can. “I’m a piece of shit.”

Rhys mumbled, “Well…”

“Rhys, shut the fuck up.” Azriel said, and handed Cass his water bottle. “Cass, you’re not a piece of shit.”

He groaned, and fell down to the floor as he opened the water bottle and took slow sips.

He should go apologize to Nesta.

But he also knew he had no right to do so. Even if he tried, she probably wouldn’t give him the time of day. 

And he didn’t blame her.

His head was pounding, his stomaching rolling. He closed his eyes and put his face into his hands. 

“I need to go to bed,” he muttered, talking into his hands.

Azriel whistled for Beau, who was instantly by his side. He then walked to the front door and let the pup out for his last potty break of the night. 

“Go get cleaned up. I’ll let Beau in and lock the door behind us.” Azriel leaned beside the wall next to the door and smiled.

Cassian nodded and stood, stumbling back toward the bathroom. He flipped Rhys off as he went.

The second he flipped on the bathroom light he cringed. His eyes were glazed, his eyelids heavy. After grabbing a rag and drenching it in water, he wiped off his face then brushed his teeth. As soon as he walked out into the hall and into his bedroom, he was falling into his bed. He could hear Beau running through the living room, his tail was wagging as he jumped up next to Cassian on his mattress.

Azriel was scolding Rhysand as they walked out. The last thing Cassian heard him say before they shut the front door was, Way to be a prick, dickwad. 

Once Cassian was left alone in the silence, though, his guilt only worsened.

He laid there, listening to his ceiling fan rotate and running his hand down Beau’s belly, and he groaned.

He should text her, tell her that he was sorry for being a dick and-.

He didn’t even have her fucking number.

For a split second, he considered going to her house, apologizing, kissing her, he hadn’t decided yet. But then he realized what a stupid idea that was, and likely to get him fired.

So he laid there, room spinning around him as fast as the fan above him, and waited for the sunrise.

[yourgalaxy]

~FINDING HOME~ (Part 3)

Pairing: Taehyung x female O/C

Genre: Fluffyest Fluffy Fluff, a little bit of angst if you squint really hard.

Summary: After getting used to the idea of just being her and her little daughter against the world. Autumn is proven wrong once again when fate has different plans for them.

Warnings: None

Word count: 3470

A/N: The original prompt is from @hybridfanfiction ( their prompts are the cutest, check them out!) This is my first attempt on sharing some of my work and is also my first hybrid fic. I love the reader inserts but not a fan of the Y/N type thing so feel free to just imagine your name instead if you prefer! I have material to make this a series but will leave it as a one shot for now to see if you guys like it! I totally don’t own the gifts.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language. Read at your own risk 😂

Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5

" No señorita, you are going to school" - Autumn was having a really hard time to not let her daughter win this little battle. She wasn't planning on letting her know about the trip to the store that she had planned to take Taehyung to, and couldn't believe that it had slipped her mouth. But when the little evil genius decided to team up with the boy with fluffy ears and literal doggy eyes, she knew that she was done for it. - " Ok, you win, but just for this one time!’’ - The level of excitement skyrocket -

 Autumn soon realized that she had created a monster. At the beginning, Taehuyng was really apprehensive to take anything from the store, afraid that if he took the wrong thing or asked for too much, he would break this dream-like chance that whoever was in charge up there had given him. But after a lot of convincing and praising from both mother and daughter, he started to open up to the idea of being spoiled by them. Autumn made him try every piece of clothing that she put her eye on to try and figure out his style and what he felt comfortable on. 

 Taehyung realized how much he loved trying on new clothes and he was awfully good at combining them, but that wasn’t really the problem… The problem was that he looked way too good in every single piece he tried on, and even though he wasn’t really asking for anything verbally, Autumn couldn’t stop herself from buying anything and everything that made his eyes sparkle a little bit brighter. It was most definitely going to take a blow on her finances but it wasn’t anything that a few extra hours at the shop wouldn’t fix, right?

 ‘’ Yes, Taehyung, I’m sure. We need to get you the stuff that you need, and honestly in this household you will have to get used to be pampered with gifts because as soon as you meet the boys, they will be head over toes for you’’ - She laughed to herself as if it was an inside joke that only her was able to understand, and in reality it kinda was. At the mention of some guys that he didn’t know, Taehyung’s head was filled with questions and apprehensions. He knew that Haneul’s dad wasn’t in the picture any more, Haneul had said so with a bright smile adorning her face so he assumed that it wasn’t a traumatic experience for her, meaning that it probably happened when she was really small, so these other men were probably not really related to them by blood or anything… 

 Taehyung wasn’t sure if he was very fond of the prospect of meeting these guys. He wasn’t a fan of men in general. But the smile on her face that made his heart skip a beat was enough indication of the fact that he would end up complying to whatever request she would send his way.

 ‘’ ICE CREAM! Mamma, Mamma, can we pretty please get ice cream’’ - Haneul was basically bouncing on Autumn’s arms, buzzing with excitement at the sight of her favorite treat, she wasn’t really expecting a verbal response, noticing how her mom’s steps redirected was enough for her.- ‘’ Do you want some ice cream Taehyung?’’ - If he wanted some they could just seat in the parlor to enjoy the ice cream but if he wanted to keep going she could just buy Haneul a cup- ‘’ I have never had it… is it good?’’ - At this both mom and daughter sharply turned their heads towards him, the sudden attention making him want to disappear. -

 Haneul crawled from her mom’s arms, wanting to be held by Taehyung, which he complied to immediately, not really expecting the little hands to squish his cheeks, Haneul’s eyes comically wide, looking at him like some kind of anomaly. ‘’ Ice cream is the best, Tata!’’ - Autumn had never heard a more melodic laugh than Taehyung’s and it was pretty contagious too.- 

 Taehyung loved Ice cream, in fact it immediately became his second new favorite thing, the first one being the soft smile that appeared on Autumn’s lips whenever she was watching Haneul enjoying something and because of that he started to feel afraid. Afraid of this new normal that he was getting so used to so fast, afraid of the feeling of attachment that he could already feel growing in his chest. It all came back, he realized, to the fact that he was actually afraid of losing it all… Right there and then he decided that he would be the best boy and just enjoy this dream for as long as it lasted. 

 ‘’Ok, Taehyung would you wait for us here while I take her to the bathroom? I promise we will be fast’’ - Autumn didn’t really like the idea of leaving Taehyung alone in a territory that was unknown to him but she couldn’t do much with Haneul needing a bathroom urgently. Taehyung in the other hand tried his hardest not to let out the whine that tickled his throat, nodding his head quickly instead, he didn’t want to burden her even if the idea of being left alone in that huge place petrified him.-

 The scene that Autumn walked out to, made her blood run cold. The small tremor from Haneul’s boy and the way her pretty eyes immediately filled with tears, didn't help at all. The way that the man was viciously pushing Taehyung into the corner made her sick to her stomach. Taehyung was trying his best to seem smaller, trying his best not to react or make a sound, the same way he would do it while in the streets, they eventually got tired of not receiving any response from him and after a few harsh words and hits, they always left…

 He saw the blow coming before he could even actually feel it, white noise plugging his ears and soon he could identify the irony taste of blood in his mouth. He didn’t hear the scream that came out of Autumn or the incessant cries from Haneul, his senses disoriented and the anxiety surrounding him like a suffocating blanket.

 ‘’ Are you freaking crazy?!’’ - Autumn couldn’t remember the last time she got so mad to raise her voice like that, especially not around Haneul, but her blood was boiling and the way this guy was trying to disregard her for being a woman was getting on her nerves.- ‘’Is this mud yours? You better keep a leash on him, sweetie,I was about to call hybrid control on that thing.’’ - The anger was making her dizzy, she couldn’t comprehend how there were still people out there that still treated hybrids this way, she knew Hybrid control were fishy but seeing the relationship her friends had with their hybrids, often made her forget how much hate and prejudice was out there still, after years of hybrid rights approval, there were still so many of them suffering more than what the media was willing to admit. -

  ‘’ You know what, I’m just going to go ahead and call the police’’ - She threatened through her teeth, her jaw so tight that it started to hurt after she put herself in between the little ball that Taehyung had become and the man when he tried to kick the boy. The guy laughed a humorless laugh claiming that he was just defending himself from an aggressive stray dog and that the police couldn’t do anything about it, Autumn could see right through his lies. - Oh, yeah? let us see what they say when we show them the security tapes.’’ - Was all she had to say for his face to go pale and for his friends to finally step up and retrieve him, whispering a reluctant apology before disappearing, the crowd that had formed disappearing with them.-

 It was then that Autumn had the chance to focus on Taehyung's state. Haneul was already by his side, crying his name over and over to no avail, he was curled on that corner in fetal position, barely breathing, trying to move as little as physically possible and the sight crushed her heart to pieces… She sat on the ground next to him, ignoring the noisy looks she was getting and dismissing the complaints of the security guards of the mall about public disturbance with a heated look and a sharp comment about them just looking past the abusive display that had him in that state. 

 ‘’ Hey sweetheart’’ - Her voice was barely above a whisper when she tentatively placed a hand on his back, he didn’t flinch or move in any form whatsoever to acknowledge her presence, but she knew that any sudden move would frighten him. She was grateful that HaNeul had calmed down, she was probably exhausted from the whole ordeal, her little sobs the only sound heard from her as she curled against her mom’s side with her face partially hidden against her neck. Autumn’s hand started tracing patterns in Taehyung’s back after a couple minutes of no response. ‘’Hey honey boy, you are safe now’’ - She whispered, dedicating him her best attempt of a smile when he finally uncovered his face to look at her. His face devoid of any emotion, but as realization hit him his eyes filled with tears. She softly pulled his head towards her allowing him to hide his face on the other side of her neck, her scent immediately filling his senses, he started sobbing when he felt the little chubby hands of a five year old petting his ears. He let go of everything, he had never cried after an assault before, at least not in the scene, not right away, he didn’t want to give anyone the satisfaction, but right there, in between their arms, with their comforting scents and Autumn’s calming touch and words, he felt the safest he had felt in forever. -

 ‘’ Yoongi, I need your help...There is nothing to worry about. I just need to get the paperwork for sponsorship and I don’t want to go through a shelter to get them… Yeah, I know, I’m 100% sure this is what I want to do...thank you so much! Tell Hobi I love him… and I love you too even if you can’t say it back, Yoongs. I’ll see you guys soon." - Autumn ended the call with a lighter heart, she knew what she needed to do and the sight of the sleeping boy holding a sleeping Haneul in his arms both of them tightly hugging each other in the back seat of her car, just served to reaffirm her decision. Taehyung was already part of her little family, and he fitted right in, like a piece of a puzzle she didn’t realize was incomplete.

 …

 " Not this time, little one. You need to go to school, Tata will be waiting for you to play afterwards, ok?" - After 10 solid minutes at the kindergarten's door, Haneul finally gave up on convincing her mom to let her skip class to spend time with her best friend, she waved sadly to the boy sitting in the front passenger seat. Autumn send a silent plea to the teacher as she took her daughter's hand, asking to keep an eye on her, she had called Mrs. Lee and explained the bullying issue so all the teachers were notified and asked to be more careful regarding the matter.-

 " The house is all yours, there is lots of food in the fridge and here…". - She pulled out a phone from her backpack- "I just changed my phone last week, so you can use this one until we get you a new one, it's not the most advanced one but it will do the trick. My number is already saved there, if anything happens or you have any questions, call me, ok? " - He nodded, he tried to convince himself that he was prepared for this, she had told him that she would be going to work on Tuesday because Monday was a holiday that he couldn't remember the name of but that he was really grateful for because it granted him another full day with Autumn and Haneul. But the truth was that he wanted to cry at the prospect of being all by himself after getting so used to their presence during the last 3 days. It was actually concerning to him how attached he had become in such a short time, he had lived in the streets for a whole year by himself before meeting them, but now a few hours seemed like too long.-

 "When are you… When are you coming back? " - She sensed his distress and started to feel guilty for letting him by himself so soon after bringing him home, but there was not a lot she could do if she wanted to make sure that all of their needs were covered. - " I'll pick Haneul up at 4pm so we will be here at around 4:30pm, time will fly and before you notice we will be back!" -She tried her best to cheer him up, only getting a hesitant nod as a response before she had to go. - 

 " Noona, is your lover boy again!" - Jimin shouted from the main room where Autumn had left her phone by mistake. She rolled her eyes but the soft smile that danced on her lips betrayed her, Jimin was as cheeky as they could get and after 6 years of friendship his antics didn’t really surprise her anymore. She took what was probably Taehyung’s 6th call that day, she could feel that he was getting more and more restless. The first few calls were filled with shy questions about where to find certain things in the house but by now she knew that he was just feeling lonely and probably just wanted to hear a familiar voice.- 

 Taehuyng kept telling himself that he knew that this was going to happen, that he shouldn’t be surprised and should be thankful that whoever was in charge of his destiny had been considerate enough to let him enjoy his time with the most amazing people he had ever met even if it was just for a few days. And even when something in him tried to point out how irrational he was being, he couldn’t help it, he couldn’t help how much it hurt him. They weren't coming back, they were leaving him behind. Autumn had said they were coming back at 4:30pm but it was already past 6pm and they weren’t home, his phone had died a few hours ago, so he couldn’t call them to apologise and beg for them to come back. He felt utterly helpless.

 Ah, he was going back to the streets faster than he expected and for a second he wondered if it would be easier to die than to go back to that life after having a taste of this piece of Heaven… The stubborn tears rolled down his face without his permission.

 …

 ‘’ That’s enough, honey bear. We need to hurry. We have left Tata alone for too long, he probably misses you a ton!’’ - At this the little girl’s eyes widened and now she is almost running to the cashier. Autumn cursed herself for being so careless, she had decided to stop for take out and after mentioning a movie night to Haneul she would quiet down about buying popcorn and movie treats, by the time she realized how late it was, she knew that Taehuyng was probably worried sick and by the sound of it, his phone probably died and he didn't know where to find the charger, which was also her fault, her conscience reminded her.

 "Taehyung? Sweetheart, we are really sorry, you probably were… Hmp" - She was getting used to being interrupted mid sentence and hit full force by his body as he embraced her. This time though, it wasn't excitement what had rushed him over to her, if the wetness on her shoulder and the violent sobs that he was trying to suppress were any indication.-

  "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I promise I'll be a good boy from now on, I won’t call you while you are at work and I will do whatever you say, just please don’t leave me’’ - Autumn wanted to join the crying party when Haneul started crying too, not really understanding what was going on but pleading not to leave Taehyung.- "Hey, hey, calm down, shhh, calm down honey boy, nobody is leaving." - After around 10 minutes of soft whispers and comforting caressing, Autumn felt Taehuyng start to calm down.- "Can you show me your face Pup" - The endearing name made him blush but he complied after a few seconds. As soon as his eyes rested on her face again he wanted to cry once more, he kept thinking that he really didn’t want to give up this time, but her eyes were so full of loving care and concern that he wondered for a second if there was any way to really change that, to really mess up enough to change that look in her eyes. It seemed impossible and the thought comforted him. - 

 ‘’ I wasn’t planning on telling you about it like this but the last thing I want you to believe is that you are not wanted here’’ - Autumn lovingly cleaned his faces with the paws of her sweater, the man before her was an overgrown puppy and it warmed her heart to think that he was about to officially become a member of her family. She took him and HaNeul to the sofa, the little girl quickly finding a place to sit on his lap.- ‘’ I’ve been thinking about this ever since we offered you to stay with us’’ - She started to feel anxious, fidgeting with her fingers, unable to look at him in the eye which in return made him nervous too, he holded Haneul a little closer to him, finding comfort in the little one’s scent. - ‘’ I would like to be your sponsor… ‘’ - 

 Anxiety creeped over her as she noticed the way his body tensed, and the silence that followed, she hated the fact that even after the approval of laws an all of the social movements to grant Hybrids some sort of independence, their rights were still attached to the will of another person, they were granted the possibility to become an independent citizen just after a 3 year sponsorship process for hybrids over 18 years old, which meant that in order for them to fully gain their freedom they had to depend on the rights of an sponsor and at the end of the 3 years, the sponsor could decide whether the Hybrid deserved citizenship or if the probationary period needed to be extended. It was sickening the amount of people that took advantage of this process to practically slave their hybrids. But it was still better than the owner title that some still insisted on keeping- 

 The last time Taehyung had accepted an sponsorship deal, he had to run away from an abusive household right before the sponsorship deal was over, he knew that they were not going to keep their end of the deal and would probably keep him hostage until he was no longer useful for them, that’s how he ended in the streets a year ago after living his whole life in a shelter, never being adopted as a kid, always too hyper or too clumsy or too odd for the family. He had never really had a family to call his own after his parents died when he was around Haneul’s age. He would be lying if he said that the idea of having another sponsor scared him but right there, with the two girls that had stolen his heart patiently waiting for him, he could imagine a future for the first time and that made all the difference. 

 ‘’ Yes, please... ‘’ - The eagerness in his voice made Autumn smile, that soft smile that had become his favorite in such a short time making his heart race - ‘’ I’ll arrange things with my friend’s attorney later, but right now we have a movie night to get started with’’ - The excited scream that came from Haneul who had zoned out of the conversation a while ago, finding Taehyung’s tail way more interesting, had both of them laughing their hearts out.- 

[shachihata]

rating bsd characters on whether i could beat them in hand-to-hand combat

atsushi: probably not. i think i could take him if he didn’t shift but like. The man is literally a weretiger if he was using his ability i’d be gone. What else do i have to say

ranpo: i think so but just because he'd lose interest really quickly like if i put something sweet in the general vicinity of our fight he'd go for it immediately and i could just tackle him and go from there

kunikida: i think the sheer force of his belief in his ideals would knock me the fuck over even if he didn't have his little poetry diary. i think i could get like a hit or two in on him though. it'd be a fair loss

dazai: deceptively strong. also like, a former mafia member. i think the only way i'd win is if he was letting me win but also i'd place pretty good bets on him letting me win

kenji: r u srs

tanizaki: i could if he wasn't using his abilities but i wouldn't because naomi exists

naomi: see above. tanizaki would beat my ass if i touched her

kyouka: i care about her too much to try to beat her up but also she's a trained assassin and she'd win without breaking a sweat

yosano: i think i have less chance of beating her than kunikida just because unlike kunikida i don't think she'd hold back. yosano would for real like kill me and i'd let her because how dare my hubris actually let me think i have a chance of beating yosano

fukuzawa: he's old but on god have you watched that man fight? i would be on the ground. Amen to this gilf

katai: the man is literally a shut-in redditor. say no more

mori: i would just because i hate him so bad. i think elise would be on my side as well. literally sheer force of will would carry me through this fight

chuuya: on god bro chuuya could do it single-handed and blindfolded i respect chuuya too much to even challenge him. Not a fight i'm willing to take

kouyou: like chuuya, i Do respect this milf, but not enough not to challenge her. i think i could beat her but only if i took her by surprise like if we were in a fair match i think she'd win but i'd put up a good fight

ace: god this guy is fr a stickbug like hello? he is so fucking bougie i would snap him in half without his stupid little gem collars he has Nothing

karma: yeah this is just a normal guy and a normal fight i’d give us equal chances at success

akutagawa: this is contingent on whether i beat dazai earlier or not. if dazai had let me win akutagawa would be too catatonic to even enter the ring. if dazai had beat me akutagawa would also put me in the grave just to prove a point

higuchi: yeah i think so. this would be a fair fight for sure higuchi doesn't seem like the type to bend the rules. if she saw akutagawa on the floor she might try harder to defend his honor but i think it'd still be at least a good 50/50

hirotsu: like fukuzawa, this is a deceptively strong old man. like he leads the black lizards. i don't have a chance

gin: would give me a fighting chance out of mutual respect but i wouldn't beat her. she's too capable for that

tachihara: hmm this one's tough. maybe? like he's a trained hunting dog but also he's holding a LOT back yknow. i think i could win if i played dirty and started waxing philosophical about "who's your real family" before tackling him

kaiji: ok you saw him in the fight with yosano, without his bombs he is Nothing. also though he looks like he would literally launch himself at me like a feral animal. i'd give myself like a 60% chance on this one

yumeno: This Is A Child. not to mention that their ability is scary as fuck. yumeno would be the one challenging Me to the fight and i would let them win without asking any questions

sakunosuke: i wouldn't fight this dilf literally on moral grounds. he would tell me to step up and i would just forfeit the match. sakunosuke come back to me i miss you pspspspsps

ango: corrupt government agent desk worker? sign me up. i think he'd definitely get a few good hits on me but i'd knock him out just on principle alone

fitzgerald: i would win. he might be a capitalist who literally gets his superpowers from spending his money but i have a special ability called "i am communist" and with it i would knock fitzgerald off of that fucking whale a second goddamn time

alcott: once again i would win but morally? imagine the cost.

poe: man maybe the guild just isn't a physically strong team yknow. poe looks like he would fall over in a stiff breeze. Poe looks like i could punch him in the arm as a joke and they would feel it for a month

hawthorne: hawthorne looks like he'd call me a slur and if he wasn't using his ability i would pummel this fuddy duddy bitch to kingdom come

mitchell: same vibes as hawthorne ngl i'm pretty sure i could take her. she's a milf though so i'd give her a fighting chance

steinbeck: i think this would be a fair fight. also though i would let him win because he hasn't been in the manga since chapter fucking 44 and i miss him so fucking bad steinbeck PLEASE come back and beat fitzgerald's ass for me

lovecraft: tentative yes? like he doesn't look very PHYSICALLY strong, it's mostly just his "eldritch being" thing that makes him a threat, right? if i played it dirty and like, distracted him enough so he's comfortable and not in a state where he'd want to activate his powers then i think i could get at least a few good hits in on him

lucy: yeah easy as long as we're not in her room with anne. if she wasn't using her ability i could take her down easy but if she was and i had to deal with anne too? no thanks

melville: this is an old man but i don’t think this is a Deceptively Strong old man like fukuzawa and hirotsu. i would feel bad fighting him because he does seem like he’s just chilling but i’d do it

twain: he’s a sniper. hand-to-hand i’d knock him out. look at the way that fruit wears his shirt i’m winning this one

dostoevsky: fuck this guy i could and would choke him like the kermit meme. anemic rat bastard would die in one hit. i just have to get him started talking about god or humanity or some shit and then i would go in for the kill

pushkin: he’s a coward i just have to look intimidating and i already have a leg up on him i could take him out and i would enjoy it. he ADMITS that he’s not that physically strong. he’s gone

goncharov: simply based on dedication alone i don’t think i could win like... the minute he thinks about dostoevsky he powers up like a super saiyan. i would take great pleasure in fighting him though

mushitaro: yeah he'd be no problem. what is he, a writer?? he looks like he lives at his desk in shrimp posture for like 16 hrs a day i could knock him out

fukuchi: this old man would fucking murder me without blinking and also at this point in the manga i'm pretty sure he's functionally immortal because of "plot" "armor." if i fought him there would be a dramatic scene where i think i'm going to win before he pulls some bullshit like he has a multidimensional punch or something that killed me the day i was born and retconned the whole fight out of existence

gogol: i would win but only on the condition that i convinced him beforehand that "winning" is a social construct that he is falling prey to and his "want" to "win" is really a loss of free choice. this is more of a verbal battle, not a physical one

stoker: he is a head impaled on a sword. next question

sigma: augh. i wouldn't fight sigma they've gone through enough. if i HAD TO i would win but only if there was absolutely nothing on the line like this is just a friendly spar between friends because the minute sigma gets desperate they go bark bark bark feral and that'd lower my chances significantly

teruko: trained soldier. i would lose and she would enjoy sucking every last ounce of youth out of my shriveled body. freak

jouno: he might be blind but his ability would let him sense me from like a mile away and he's obviously pretty capable in an actual fight. i think i could give him a black eye before i went down though

tetchou: physical embodiment of no thoughts, head empty. in a fair fight? no. if i took him by surprise, then proceeded to distract him by talking about his weird habits and gossiping about the latest hunting dog drama while slowly wearing him down? maybe. 8 times out of 10 though he'd beat my ass i think

shibusawa: funniest man on the fucking planet he is NOTHING without his stupid little feminine-trait crystals i would break his nose hands down and everybody will clap

[gammacousin]

Okay. I’m ready to real talk Black Widow. I don’t want to but as an activist there’s an obligation I have to share and educate. I nerd to forget but I suppose it shows the power of this movie if it brings something real into the light.

*Spoiler Warning. Trigger warning for everything.*

There are some things I want to say that could potentially spoil aspect of the Black Widow film. I also would advise you to skip this post if you have a darker past, if you aren’t interested in getting serious, or wish to skim by, I’m sincerely not judging! I come on here to avoid the universe as well. You do you, I totally still love you if you don’t read this and want to move onto something nerdy or more fun. This isn’t the post for you.

It’s taken me a while to process and organize my thoughts. Skip if you don’t want to hear deep, raw stories.

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Okay. Nerd review first.

The level of girl power and any and all glass ceilings… There is SO much left to do. So much that needs to still be addressed. But seeing 3 women run this show: Yelena, Natasha, and Melina was an absolute joy to observe. This isn’t the end of some hard waged war, it’s the beginning and I beg you; Disney/Marvel. Please give us more of this? It’s so important for young girls to see other girls kicking butt and winning. Quick summary of nerd feelings; Losing Nat still burns. Yelena is a boss.

Okay…Real talk.

I have to get a little deeper here now. My personal story absolutely played into how I felt about this film and I wish I saw some trigger warnings about the material covered. Do I know Black Window’s story? Yes. In and out. I can read it, I can write my FF on it. However. Little to no one knows my story and so absolutely no one is to blame for not warning me. I was not expecting to come out this shook.

I’m sharing this because it’s happening now, today. In the real world. I doubt the film makers had this mind over other social issues, but after feeling like it’s irrelevant, that my pain is somehow less than, I’m realizing through my activism it’s not.

I grew up in a cult where women are not relevant. You matter up to a point. You are useful, to a point. If you’re giving 24/7, you’re not giving enough. If you’re not smiling as you’re doing cult stuff, you’re complacent. In addition to why I’m about to share, my house growing up was not a safe space which is a story for another time. So it’s a stack…this janga-ish game that eventually just comes crashing down.

My trigger started moments after the film started the handing over of the kids. When Alexei chooses the job over the welfare of the girls. Alexei put his two “daughters” in danger to save ‘face’. To put the job ahead of two children…it hit home. In the group I’m from, fathers, mothers, grandparents, siblings will absolutely choose the group over blood. You are nothing and you mean nothing if you ‘defect’. If you break a rule. If you complain. If you say ‘no’. If you put in a bad review for a leader, if you have anything bad at all to say about the organization as a whole. You can confide something deep in someone you trust and it absolutely will come back to hurt you.

The title song shook me completely. This collage of video and images of brainwashing, treating these girls like absolute objects is disgusting in itself. But when you’re raised in this other world, there’s a level of brainwashing that is absolutely unmatched. Videos, books, quizzes, 12 hour lectures, weekly meetings.

People are unified to the point where you lose your own identity. There’s a language- a literally language- words you start to misuse. Verbiage only people in the cult use. Kids of any age will watch any rated film. Frequently the themes are about obedience and or cooperation and the consequences if you do not cooperate/obey. Death is a such a common theme that either you become petrified of your own shadow, petrified of breathing wrong, or turn completely numb. In sharing these videos, the goal is to instill this fear that you will never be enough. That you will die- turn into a charred hot dog of a figure if you do not obey 8 white men - the leaders, in New York. That your friends, classmates, neighbors, family will die if they don’t believe what you do. That you’re held accountable if you can’t bring them to your side.

The song for the credits hit me. I cannot listen to it. I have no idea what it was about.

When I watched the film, I couldn’t focus at this point at gosh barely 15 minutes in. I had already checked out. I heard keywords. “Entertainers,” “I feel stupid and contagious…”

In my world, I did not matter. What mattered was, what was presented to the public. To your group. Meeting some checklist of this perfect family at any cost. You’re not an individual, you’re a number. Literally. Your records are documented by men in the back room- your actions, your track record. But ultimately? You’re part of a numeral equation reported to headquarters. And if you’re a woman, you do not have a say in how you look, dress, act or in what you say. You are as the title song says, …“Entertainers”. You smile. You do your job, and you are ‘happy’ about it. Your job is to dedicate x amount of hours cleaning the room you gather in, and in recruitment of other members…

There’s a ‘job’ in the cult called a “pioneer”. Okay. No, we might not have been trained assassins. But you are trained to manipulate emotionally. To prey on the weak. You get books, magazines, movies, speeches, lectures- you rarely get a free Saturday. Oh and the job isn’t paid. So make sure you’re working (part time because full time secular work isn’t acceptable) at a desk job (because college and getting an education is not allowed). Don’t make friends with the people who work with you, they’re out to get you. Back at the club; You answer questions like it’s some schoolastic quiz every week and quote what your reading. It’s a brainwashing tactic. If you say something enough times, you remember it. You start to believe it. You spend hours reading these things, training… Your job is to target people who have lost- and have lost a lot because they’re vulnerable. You learn to go to cemeteries, and literally stalk people who are grieving. Like Val. If you can catch someone when they’re weak, senses are dulled. They’re desperate. And you bait them with this false promise. This idea that all THEY have to do is change all that they are, join you, and they’ll see their dead loved ones again. That they are doomed if they don’t change. Most pioneers draft 2-4 people per lifetime. If you’re a great saleswoman, you can draft more into this horrific world. And I regret the hours I spent lying, torturing people. For some cult that doesn’t give two cents about me.

I 100% believed of I didn’t convince my classmates, neighbors, to join my side they would either turn me in or they would be killed by a divine being. From 2 years old I was supposedly handing out pamphlets. The doom is not a quick painless death, no. You have visuals. You have men getting up to talk in detail about what your ‘friends’ will look like as corpses. Visually descriptive to the point where I still feel a bit numb to it all. That you will have to bury their bodies after the whole divine destruction. That you will have to “clean up” the earth. You are numb- convinced- bullied to the point where you believe this is true.

If you’re hurt as MANY WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE, and you don’t have two people to testify and say they saw it- it never happened. Abuse is the norm. And if you speak up about it? You’re called a liar. Your friends cut you off. They think you’ll die along with everyone else if you put in a ‘bad review’ or leave. You’re bullied into submission and taught from a young age that you are not in control of your own decisions. You relinquish yourself under the pretense that the men you have such reverence toward are under some divine being’s control.

Your parents hurting you is acceptable. And don’t you dare speak against your father if he’s deeply involved. Don’t even think about approaching if he’s on a phone call. If you’re hit you take it- because you “deserved” it. And you smile. You shove that pain deep down. You hide the bruise, the cut lip, the depression, the bottles of pills you’re swallowing the whatever….You’re screwed if you faint, throw up, pass out, because you’ve missed a meeting. You better be dying for that to happen…

The idea that is portrayed in the movie (IMO) is that you can forgive family who hurts you. I see people forgiving Alexei and what’s her name. Look- that’s great. It’s a fun film. Alexei is funny. Here’s what I saw; it’s a toxic man- nay- father who can’t accept responsibility. He takes pride in what the girls have become- monsters. Not in who they are at their core. He has no idea who they are. And the mom has this photo album…I’m tearing up. She remembers this a certain way, a wishful thought. I’ve confronted my own mother about our past and had an album thrown at me, “We were happy. You were happy.” The fact is I was told the smile. You’re forcing this perception that everything was normal. That it’s okay to go back. (I’m not taking away Yelena’s view that everything was real to her, that’s fine for the sake of the story, and sweet. The moment between her and Alexei..fine. Milena turns and takes their side at the end, great.) The problem with how I saw this, is that’s not how the real world works. I don’t owe my parents forgiveness when I didn’t mean shit to them. When people leave the cult they’re cut off. Treated like they’re dead. I didn’t find these moments cute, I found them horrific. Hugging me, saying he’s proud of me is the toxic sh** my father would pull. Ignoring the holes in the wall, in my skull, the phony impression he gives to the rest of the group. Hugging me…after sweeping everything he did not only to me, but countless others under the rug because the cult…because 8 men in NY will protect him. Legally. Or otherwise.

I don’t need to forgive my parents. If you’ve been mistreated, you don’t owe anyone anything. They can “try” to do the right thing, that doesn’t somehow block out years of mistreatment. Years of trauma. Sheetrock only patches the surface of the broken walls. Wounds heal but some scars stay with you forever. Metaphorically or otherwise.

‘Entertainers’ was a trigger word because if you’re high enough in the ranking system you’re asked to “testify” or share a story. It’s in front of a couple thousand. It’s an “honor”. What it really is, is a three ring circus. You will only see women on the sidelines reading from the cards while only men stand at the main podium. They’re reading what they have told them to say. Stories are manipulated, cut, changed to fit a narrative that better suits the group of a couple thousand members.

Dreykov. I hate this. But I have to go there. I’m neck deep already, might as well. I think the worst part of all of it is that you can’t touch the person who made you this way. Those 6-7-8 leaders are untouchable. It doesn’t matter what you try. What legal entities, ex groups have tried. There’s a term for us and we are considered ‘mentally diseased.’ Members are told to avoid us. And in case you were curious, no, they can’t just break their nose on a table to be free- if only it were that simple. Gosh that got me. I would cut a limb, split my skull open, if it meant I could just cut a chord. It takes years of therapy and I still have nightmares. Urges to just, go. I’m OKAY. But most escapees are not. If you manage to escape with your life and don’t end it because the pressure, guilt, abuse that comes with leaving is too much. (This is sadly the fate of MANY LBGTQ+ members.)

The only hope is either the group eventually runs out of money or they’re taken down legally. Both of which are impossible since many older members will leave all they have to the group rather than to their family. It’s a complex billion dollar publishing company that plays monopoly with people’s investments, homes, and lives.

If you speak up, you’re the liar. So you cannot free your friends, who have turned on you, already cut you off, and discarded you the day you walked out and didn’t come back.

Watching Natasha, and Yelena free their sisters made me think of every woman who is stuck in this cult. For every woman, child, currently being sexually/physically abused and can’t say sh** because they literally believe god will kill them. If I say anything to them, they block me. If I expose what’s happening they will lie in court. That’s what is happening. And it’s not in the news, it’s not talked about. Because you can’t. You’re forced into silence. There’s a block. A literal legal force field that you cannot penetrate. They have their own lawyers. You can’t break into it. You’ll lose every, single, legal battle you try to fight.

Was this a decent movie? Yes. Was I expecting to share this days after release, no. I’ve been forced into silence for so long, told that people have it far worse and that I shouldn’t talk about it. But just today I saw a grown ass couple in an escapee group, talking about how one trigger word sent them into a depressive spiral. Wondering if some god damn lightening will come out of the sky and knock them dead. And we frickin struggle in silence. People will just shrug and go “oh it can’t be that bad,” while my gay best friend can’t catch an effing break. While someone else suffers at home because god wants it that way. Someone else will bury their kid today, maybe not even hold a funeral for them if they were ‘mentally diseased.’

For people like that couple I met today, like me, if you don’t just see a fun film but a darker past or maybe it’s brought up some memories for you, I’d honestly love to chat!!! Message me! I feel like for as painful as this is to hash out not too many people know about what goes on behind a group of smiling, well dressed woman who come knocking on your door. “It’s just a religion.”

I guess I didn’t realize…the criminal aspect of what happened to me. You’re so ingrained to keep quiet. To smile. To ignore, to suppress. I can smile, joke laugh, but visualizing…inadvertently seeing this mirror was so unbelievably uncomfortable. I would always rather help someone else because it takes me out of my head. Live in a bubble where I can call my trauma a ‘fantasy’. What’s real is when someone like me has a bad day? Lol! Look, my husband literally checks his phone to make sure a conversation never touches a couple hundred trigger words that will absolutely send me into the closet with a gallon of ice cream or a bottle of whiskey. I can’t imagine what someone else, what some other traumatized individual goes through. (Maybe that’s why the Bucky stuff makes me all angry She-Hulk too..)

Look, talking people ex members of this group, out of suicide is a daily endeavor to the point where it’s borderline on autopilot. But having this, I suppose, brilliant, piece of cinema turn the camera around left me raw and writhing and angry. Not for me, but for everyone else still stuck. With every year you spend in that cult, add ten more to therapy.

If you feel like me at all, you’re not alone. Not anymore. We were raised to feel alone in the world. That the universe is somehow out to get us and that’s simply not true. You don’t need the people who raised you if they were absolute shit bags. And you DO NOT have to forgive them for keeping you in that environment. Family isn’t family if they’ve hurt you. You owe them nothing. It is healthy to feel your feelings (and you and your feelings are valid. )

Anyways! I hope to be able to talk about more fun Marvel topics soon. But this felt important so thanks for listening. I’m really not hating guys, this is just…it’s heavy. And I beg you to do your research into cults and to help out where you can.

Love and light,

-M

[alygatorwrites]

Hey baby! This match up event is such a fun idea, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy 🥰

Also sorry for the long answers I just wanted to make it as easy as possible (and not because I want YOU to marry me 😤)

my name is sage

my pronouns or she / her

my sexuality is straight

my sign is cancer

my love language is quality time and acts of service

I love it when my partner goes out of their way to do something special for us, and I much prefer experience gifts rather than material gifts, like a weekend away or taking me to a restaurant or surprising me with a dinner or going for a walk together (pls I sound like a dog)

my hobbies and interests

I love animals with a passion and you will find me volunteering any chance I get! I’m a big fan of travelling and I would do it everyday if I could, my favourite places to go are Italy, greece and Australia. I’m also in love with Switzerland! But yeah anything beachy and woodsy is where my happy place is. I also love to journal about the places I have been, and collecting little souvenirs on the way. I’m like a magpie it’s crazy how much stuff I have from my travels.

my personality

my mbti type is isfp and I’m more of an ambivert, I’m outgoing with friends and family but I’m a bit more reserved when it comes to people I haven’t met before and would prefer if they started the convo first. After that initial awkwardness (which I hate with a passion) I’m good at carrying a convo. Once you get to know me I’m more of an extrovert. Over text I’m the most extroverted person but in person, I’m a lil shy and reserved until I get to know you.

I’m also VERY clumsy, I never seem to finish my day without breaking something or waking up with a new bruise. There was one time I literally broke 3 plates and dropped 4 glasses all in one day…..and the amount of times I trip or fall up the stairs. I seriously need a warning sign around my neck. I’ve also been told I have a bit of a resting bitch face but I swear I’m nice :)

I’m known to my friends as the funny one of the group and very free spirited. I have never been in a relationship and I don’t feel I need to be in one right now. I’m not looking for anyone at the moment, and I wouldn’t go out of my way to find someone (ie dating apps). I’d rather find them along the way. As you could probably tell, I’m more on the independent side and as of right now, I’m just enjoying that.

physical description

It’ll be a lot easier is I just add a picrew for the physical description cause I finally found one that looks like me :)

And OF COURSE I want some nsfw headcanons!! You’re nsfw writing is what keeps me going BABYYY

I’m so excited to see who you pick for me mamas! *BIG FAT SMOOCHES* ilysm 💖

♡ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐧

→ your caring and charitable persona is what draws jean in, along with the fact that you’re pretty as hell. while he can be blunt and stubborn, this man finds himself magnetized toward those who are lively and vivacious — this is you! add in your sense of humor and he is instantly fixated on establishing a relationship.

→ jean finds the lives of others valuable, and he likes how you feel the same, shown by how you enjoy volunteering. this would make you extremely compatible! because you're both dedicated members of society with strong moral compasses, a deep sense of understanding is easily formed.

→ an opinionated extrovert who speaks his mind, jean would take the initiative in social situations. when you're uncomfortable or too nervous to start a conversation with a stranger, he'll be right there to introduce you and get the ball rolling. this balance and support is helpful! honestly, jean thinks it’s super adorable how shy you can be. the way you can go from being extroverted over text to a bashful girl in person is amusing to him!

→ you and jean's personalities form a mutually beneficial relationship! your understanding nature breaks down jean's walls, while his resolve and committed character keeps you grounded. this bond would be unbreakable as it's forged through trust, responsibility, commitment, and affection.

→ your love language of quality time would be respected by jean, and he’d have no problem in giving his undivided attention. as a practical individual who knows that a tomorrow isn't promised, jean finds that each passing minute is irreplaceable. he values being there for his partner. not only that, but jean's love language is also acts of service. this gives him an understanding of how precious it is to show and not tell. he will do things for you such as cooking breakfast, folding your laundry, brushing your hair, taking you to the beach, and even planning over-sea vacations. a little embarrassed to show his emotions, jean takes this as an opportunity to wordlessly express his love.

→ jean has a soft spot for beauty! this is what made you catch his eye. he's definitely a sucker for your curls; the way they perfectly frame your face — the spirals a gorgeous sepia-brown, brushing along each cheek — would make him melt. your beauty marks? he pecks them with a tenderness that can't even be explained. they're too cute and charming.

→ he finds clumsiness sweet. that being said, sasha and connie already keep jean on his toes as it is, so he'd never admit it. despite that, he's always down to help collect the broken pieces of whatever you knock over ... which usually results in him grabbing a broom and saying he'll clean it up for you altogether (those shards of glass can't be trusted!) jean can still be an asshole though, and he snorts out a laugh whenever you fall up the stairs.

→ your love for animals and wildlife would change jean for the better. this man doesn't have an affinity for them until you come along: watching the way you light up around a cat or dog makes him vow that he'll give you all the pets you want.

♡ 𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

→ the sharp inhales you make when jean fucks you has him bursting at the seams. hearing you moan when he holds tight onto your hips is his absolute favorite thing.

→ as mentioned before, jean loves hair, especially yours. his favorite thing is to tangle his hands in each lock — the brown swirls wrapping around his fingers — and gently tug them as he envelops your lips into a deep kiss.

→ reducing you to a quivering, breathless heap makes jean feel invincible. the power trip has his head swimming every time!!!

→ orally pleasuring you is a must for jean. he likes it even better than he enjoys getting off himself. the primal sensation of you gushing around his tongue can make him cum in seconds if he doesn't control himself.

→ this man has the worst corruption kink. jean will not hesitate to tarnish you until you go from a good little girl to a whore who thinks about nothing but his cock <3

→ really loud, moan-heavy sex makes jean weak at the knees. he adores every breathy whine you make, and relishes in the way your face screws up when he slides into you. he'll push strands of your hair away from your eyes, tucking them behind a ear and fiddling with your piercings.

→ jean can't get enough of the sexual tension before you both hook up. the second he sees your will-power break, and how you strip away your shirt... god, it's so sexy to him.

→ run your fingers through his mullet and jean is a goner 🥴

→ whenever jean carries you bridal style to the bedroom with a smug grin, be prepared for the best sex of your life.

→ 100% a dom. NO IFS, ANDS, OR BUTS.

→ "fuck, sage—" jean frequently whispers, lips brushing along your throat as he thrusts into you. the way your name tumbles from his mouth is always a broken groan. "feels so fucking good."

→ one of his favorite sex positions with you!

[letsperaltiago]

ok time to break my silence caused by the fact that i spent all day making this lol too many feels 

so.. palm springs thoughts !! and there are manyyyy so buckle up and feeel free to hit me up with either matching or contradicting thoughts or whateveer!! i would LOVE to nerd out about this movie with someone:’)

here comes thoughts and pictures!! 

we basically start off with a mr. samberg sex-scene okAYYYYY the mood is set. we love the view

nyles aka. mr. samberg is the most gorgeous man alive and it was a true pleasure to admire him for 90 minutes straight 

CURLS!!????! THEY ARE UNREAL. i shall dedicate an entire post to them

Cristin Milioti is perfect for her role. her acting? *chef’s kiss* I love that she’s not the stereotypical female rom-com lead.

Her chemistry with Andy? Gosh.. Can’t believe Nyles x Sarah is my new main movie-ship!! They play off of each other SO. WELL. Their characters are equally stone cold and bitter, but then again not really, and they both portray it so well!!

“You don’t ned a leg up.” *moans* “Hold my leg up!” i SCREAMED

“Don’t you kiss me.” “Don’t you tell me what to do.” hoW DARE THEY!

Ok ur basically on love already stop it

The fact that they were just gonna fuck on a blanket on top OF ROCKS?!

but then again in this movie’s already insane universe it’s prob pretty normal:)

The overall dark, existential humor?? This is what I live and breathe for on a daily basis. Basiaclly both main characters are a BIG MOOD

Nyles not giving a shit vs. Sarah severely freaking out in the beginning is an iconic dynamic

“I am the antichrist” and then the rock falling? For a hot sec I literally thought the movie was gonna take a turn with Nyles being some magical/scientific creature that’d created the timeloop or something idkkk ahhha

Nyles in the suit... ridiculous(ly hot)

The torture methods Roy uses on Nyles and the fact that he’s not mentally scarred?? How?? 

On that note I love that Nyles and Sarah keep their memories even if the day starts over. Would’ve been a completely different concept if they had to “meet each other for the first time” every day and it wouldn’t’ve allowed their relationship arc to evolve as it did 

Darla is the fucking shit 

Nyles in the baseball cap, amirite?

THE BARTENDER TALKING ABOUT HITTING A GUY WITH THE CAR SHE’S CURRENTLY GIVING NYLES A HANDJOB IN IS COMEDIC GOLD 

“You fucked Jerry Schlieffen?” “Well he fucked me.” Yes SIR. Andy Samberg’s characters are all bottoms and we’re here for it

Sarah’s tongue click and “nice try” when Nyles asks her about her sex life?? 

IDK WHY BUT SO GOD

Randy is hella annoying. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

THIS ENTIRE SCENE:

the fact that they both start waking up smiling because now at least they have each other 🥺😭🤯

uhm i love a good ship that’s like... best friends to lovers and the montage of them basically becoming besties killed me 

this outfit Y E S: 

sarah falling off the car and nyles laughing it off is relationship goals

the crashing plane I LOL’ED

okay so... big moment... the DANCING AND MATCHING OUTFITS? THEY ARE MY DREAM TEAM. Also how excited they are running away from the bar 🥺

IM POSITIVE THIS IS THE MOMENT NYLES KNOWS! LIKE HE DOESN’T ADMIT IT TO HIMSELF COMPLETELY BUT HE KNOWS 

the bomb in the cake and french pirate-skit? so fucking random but i lovee it because it’s so them

*DRUM ROLL* PERHAPS MY FAVORITE MOMENT IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE: 

STORYLINE WISE AND VISUALLY A++++

the deep talks by the fire were SO well written. they were actually deep and genuine, allowing the characters to grow and opening up to us as viewers but also remained fun and witty

sarah trying to get nyles to admit he cares for her and him joking it off??? the flirtinggg

really wish we’d gotten to know more about what nyles meant with “it drifts away: just like they all do.” because it really seemed to trigger something within him. Like WHO “They”???

the dinosaurs lmao no comment but at least they got a cute cuddly moment

from the very first millisecond inside the tent you can CLEARLY tell Sarah is just dying to do something about them!!!

 the disbelief on nyles’ face when sarah says “lets just get it over with” because she’d clearly stated he didn’t want to and even though he obviously did he’s respected it and not done anything further about it oh babey

we love some good making out:’))) 

NYLES HALTING TO TAKE IN THE MOMENT EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO SCREAM INTO THE VOID 

i will die for a post-sexy timez cuddle and how sarah is trying to staying awake to be besides him is just *explosion* 

this has to be *the moment* she realises 

and they’re both sooooo fucking happy when they wake up after damn love me like that pls

THE GROOM BOOO FUCK OFF CAN’T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO REMEMBER HIS NAME CHEATING SCUM 

THIS FACE:

Baby is trying so hard and is so cute and nervous about it. SARAH LISTEN TO HIM HE LOVES YOU.

HE FELT GOOD WAKING UP BECAUSE OF YOUUUU, GIRL. DO NOT CALL IT “FUN”, SARAH 

“Going to bed maybe just got a little better” 😭😭😭😭

The entire cop scene is just pure insanity, very Lonely Island and I’m here for it even though I just want Sarah to rEALLY LISTEN TO WHAT NYLES IS TRYING TO SAY 

“Pain is real” oh babey that means SO MANY THINGS 🥺💔

“I followed you into that cave because I liked you!” like jake would say: don’t love how we got here but we’re going where i want

“pretentious sad boy” me

not shocked that they’ve hooked up before because c h e m i s t r y but don’t like how it got out :)))

why is nyles’ one sleeve shirt rolled up? im triggered

drinking pure vodka? oh babey its gonna be okay 

WE LOVE A SMART BOI WHO RECOGNIZES HIS GIRL’S PERFUME 

Sarah’s parents singing:)) i would cry too, nyles

"I love her.” “I see... That’s interesting” lmao savage

I actually really love Roy’s character. It turns out to be very humble actually and he has some insightful and lowkey poetic that lines i love. Besides that he’s hilarious. 

SO the whole time i was wondering how they’d get out of the whole “same day forever”-thing, if they were to. and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they had such a logical way out of it: science. Not anything cheesy like “a true love’s kiss” or “you learned your lesson”. Pure logic and Sarah’s hard work to get there. Huge fan of this. 

I will never get over how good Nyles looks waking up and Sarah is xtra pretty in that scene:’) 

Nyles just wants to stay in a loop forever because it means for sure that he gets to stay with Sarah forever and I’m lowkey into it but also like lowkey LISTEN TO HER AND GO WITH HER PLAN, NYLES

“I wanna stay with you” *sniffles*

“I love you. How about that?” PRETTY FUCKING GOOD 

I love Nyles’ character development. He started off so nonchalant and cold, closed off and by this point he’s the softest, smiliest in love fool I’ve ever seen and Andy does it so good. SAMBERG HEART EYES!!

“Nothing is real in here” YES SARAH UR LOVE IS

I’m taking Sarah’s asking Nyles to believe in her and leave with her as her first “I love you” because it’s very clear that she wants to leave with him rather than without. 

just- this entire scene i ugh <3 <3 <3 <3

BREAKING. UP. WITH. MISTY ! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

glass of wine filled to the brim? sarah’s my type of gal

the speech was really beautiful and sweet without being too cheesy and kudos to cristin for really delivering it like a pro! especially her “abe, don’t fuck this up” like yes girl kill him, chop him to pieces with your eyes!!! also camila is such really pretty bride

nyles looks like a cockatoo here :

nyles taking the shot and smashing the glass into the ground got me 🤭😵😏🥵

“I’m your son” I SCREAM

GIVE THE MAN A WHITE HORSE DAMNIT

Gotta admit Sarah looks like a bomb (lol nu pun intended) ass super hero in her bridesmaid dress and C4-gettup 

The sentence ending up being total grammatical gibberish but Nyles trying so. damn. hard is the sweetest thing ever and should and will go down in rom-com history. It’s super romantic but also well-balanced by humor and I just.. so good. This is the kind of characters and relationships I love and wanna write myself 

“you’re my favorite person that i’ve ever met” 🥺🥺🥺

“i’d rather die with you than live in this world without you” WHY AM I SO SINGLE SOMEONE LOVEE ME LIKE THIS 

okay so idk but “what if we get sick of each other?” “we’re already sick of each other. it’s the best.” is so so so soft, the way nyles says it like it doesn’t matter and is honestly another key moment for me: they’ve experienced basically everything imaginable during their time in the box/loop. they’ve liked, disliked, loved, hated each other and still: he loves her. the fact that nyles knows no matter what happens it won’t stop that because it’s them?? ouch my heart. 

this chaotic mess of a pairing?MESSY BOMB BRIDESMAID AND CURLY-HAIR HAWAII SHIRT-BOI!! MY OTp

Them dissing Nyles’ mom on their way into potential death? that’s love, baby 

the fUCKING KISSSSSSS MANNNNNNNNNN!!!! SO ICONIC AND THE EXPLOSION IN THE BACKGROUND AND JUST WE DESERVE THIS THEY DESERVE THIS EVERYONE DESERVES THISSSS!!! 

NEVER OVEER THIS EVER FOREVER NEVER

Ok so I was SURE that when it faded to black that it was done and I grew super ficking frustrated because it would leave us with this “the ending is up to whatever you chose”-kinda thing kinda a la Celeste and Jesse where it just feels unresolved and I WASN’T OKAY WITH THAT. So I’m so happy we got to know that it worked and the bebes will live happuilly ever after with Nyles’ shaggy dog:’) 

Their hands on each other’s knee >>>>>

all in all 100000/10 

[cattles-bians]

the damie vibecca exes au part 7

post directory

obsetress: i just. started thinking about little spoon viola and got

obsetress: rly emotional

em: yeah.....

obsetress: and then i thought

obsetress: yeah ok rebecca big spoon viola little spoon but then i was like

obsetress: dani big spoon viola little spoon

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: and then i really hurt myself

obsetress: esp bc dani is canonically a big spoon

em: i’m tryna remember how tall bexs is but i cannot place it alas

em: dani canon big spoon

em: well! now i’m thinking abt it and now I’m emo

obsetress: google says tahirah is 5'4 so same more or less

obsetress: viola n her shorties

em: viola is nothing if not consistent

em: loves a routine

obsetress: another thing for her and jamie to bond over

obsetress: routine

obsetress: and dating the same women

obsetress: no literally the same women

em: jamies like um. before they leave for a trip jamie packs everything up and sits on the couch for 15 minutes to see if she’s forgotten anything

em: otherwise if danis checking everything they will get 30 minutes down the road and realise they forgot pants

em: dani can also be a little bit of a disaster as a treat

obsetress: as a treat!

em: it’s not her fault! she’s got a lot on her plate

obsetress: dani clayton: will remember the strap but forget their toothbrushes

obsetress: every time

em: bsgskdhdjdhdjgdksdjdhkdgdkshsjdhsjeg

em: dani: yeah but.. in my defence... you can buy toothbrushes everywhere... jamie: no but i really like those bristles

obsetress: jamie: spent two months wearin em down

obsetress: dani: you brush too hard anyway, jamie, really, just

em: breaking them in like boots

em: dani clenched fist clayton talking abt brushing teeth too intensely

em: i love them. i love these idiots

obsetress: god right

obsetress: they're Perfect

obsetress: you know who else is perfect

obsetress: dani big spoon clayton holding viola while she cries herself to sleep because the judge changed their custody agreement and now arthur's getting isabel on christmas day and and whispering in her ear that it's going to be okay and pressing soft kisses to the back of her neck and shoulders and––

obsetress: deranged. absolutely deranged

em: hannah

em: like it’s v good and emotionally rich and a big brain concept but i despise u for putting it out in the world

obsetress: i despite myself

obsetress: anyway um

obsetress: dani and viola do christmas together that year because it's not like dani has anyone either

obsetress: and then, y'know, viola's alone again (rip) and sits in her big apartment and drinks martinis and orders catered duck or some shit and watches it's a wonderful life and cries

obsetress: but then

obsetress: christmas miracle time something something all forces yield to time and a couple years later

obsetress: there's a new christmas tradition and dani and jamie and vi n becca all spend christmas together

em: ahhhhh i love that

em: my one quiet headcanon is. jewish dani so i flipflop between ‘dani alone on christmas angst potential found family aw nice’ vs like ‘dani wasn’t really doing anything anyway but it’s nice doing things w people u love :)

obsetress: oh i love that

em: anyway viola drinking alone on christmas and dani rocks up w a birthday cake that says happy birthday **jesus

em: & she’s like sorry i couldn’t uh. find any fruit cake lmao

obsetress: god yeah that's perf

obsetress: dani's like "i know it's not, uh, the same for... for a lot of reasons, but... i could... spend it with you? if you want?"

em: love that love viola and dani watching old movies on christmas

obsetress: dani's like "i don't know christmas, but i know judy garland"

em: maybe there’s a little absolute shit talking abt arthur but dani manages to steer it back when it gets Too heavy

em: knows when to push and when to lay off etc

obsetress: she's so good

em: also OT4 christmas parties sound absolutely bananas

obsetress: god yeah like

em: they’re ALL the lesbian aunts that down a bottle of vodka and ruin christmas lunch

obsetress: ok they get together for the last night of hanukkah to all celebrate with dani but it's usually very chill but then over christmas they just go apeshitt

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: like

obsetress: viola's making her and bex heavy handed martinis and then dani and jamie are going ham on the eggnog

em: jamie goes nuts for hanukkah she’s like ur telling me there’s a holiday dedicated to fried food

em: count me in

obsetress: she's over the stove making latkes for dani every night she's so excited

obsetress: even tho she burns them 99% of the time

em: beautiful beautiful jamie

em: i’ve never tried eggnog

em: kinda want to try it but the idea of raw egg texture freaks me out

em: vegan eggnog

obsetress: v fair

obsetress: ngl i almost said, dani and jamie drunk on oat milk eggnog

em: love that

em: i am constantly flipping between trendy health food vegan lesbians dani and jamie vs like. well. the brits are well known for eating various grey meats

em: dani makes jamie do meat free mondays

obsetress: dani like

obsetress: ok jamie likes her grey meat too much

obsetress: dani is a midwestern boomer beef is basically a food group for her but

obsetress: although i guess they're not boomers in this au

obsetress: still midwestern still likes meat but

obsetress: she reads a lot of articles

obsetress: and she's very insistent about making meatless monday a regular staple of our week, jamie

em: like spiritually dani and jamie are the old soul boomers to the terrifying vibecca power lesbians

obsetress: so true

obsetress: but yeah midwesterners. eat a lot of meat

obsetress: esp the part of the midwest dani's from, it's all farmland basically

em: dani: we can try out new recipes jamie :) it’ll be fun :)

jamie: (british grumbling) cooking’s hard enough when i know what i’m cooking

dani: well. it is harder to get food poisoning from an undercooked vegetable

em: jamies like how was i supposed to know the sushi had been in the sun. it was an accident

em: what’s another midwestern staple i wanna know abt hmmmm

em: oh yeah what the fuck is puppy chow. like it’s in BHAH and i know google is right there but i kinda want to confirm it: even exists

obsetress: oh my GOD

obsetress: i ALSO have a dani clayton puppy chow hc i

obsetress: classic comedy of errors she loves it a lot and is always talking about it and jamie thinks it's actual dog food and then dani makes it one day and

obsetress: jamie sweet tooth taylor eats it all in one sitting

em: jamie sweet tooth taylor never had a chance

[emerald-amidst-gold]

A Dragon’s Hope

Here’s a little fanfic that I wrote awhile back! I decided to go back and tweak a few parts as well as correct a few mistakes that I missed. This is just kind of an analytical piece on Fane that kind of delves into his interactions with Solas and how he sees the world of Thedas. Obviously, there are headcanons here, as well as creative liberties, but I hope anyone who reads this enjoys! I know I did say that Solas and Fane don’t really show affection for each other through physical actions that much, but sometimes they do. Especially when it’s late/near end game time. It’s still extremely rare and reserved though. Fane just likes to talk to big. He’s literally a puppy dragon. Anywhoooo..enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“That..dragon is quite attached to you, Inquisitor.”

The Inquisitor’s party was traveling back from the Emprise du Lion after successfully culling another wave of dragonlings and two mature dragons. The fact that there had been two mothers had made the grief for Fane all the more painful when he was forced to kill both within minutes of each other. There had been a third, but..well, his mind was not in the most stable of states after the first two, so the third female would have to wait for another day. Always another day, another tragedy, another loss. However, despite the fragile state of his decaying mind, something surprising and amazing had been found when he and Solas had investigated the nests of both dragons.  And that something was what was currently perched on his shoulder, snowy white tail draped over his shoulders as its serpentine head flitted left and right as it took in the surroundings. Fane watched with fondness as Solas reached up with his knuckles to allow the small dragon to nuzzle against them before he glanced over at Cassandra, hearing her hesitant statement. 

“He’s practically a newborn, Seeker. Baby dragons generally attach themselves to whatever they see upon hatching. For all intents and purposes, I’m literally his mother.”, Fane stated bluntly, barely flinching as the energetic newborn whipped around to his other shoulder to inspect the other side. 

Cassandra recoiled a bit as the dragon leaned in to investigate her. The display made the corner of Fane’s mouth quirk up into a shadow of a smirk. For all of her taciturn will, the Seeker was surprisingly easy to startle. Though, he supposed he understood why. After all, it wasn’t every day one came face to face with a dragon, even if the little one on his shoulders was no more ferocious than a kitten.  

“I understand that, Inquisitor, but..why is it so..lively?”, Cassandra fumbled for the right words as she hesitantly stretched a finger out to the emerald eyed dragon. 

The baby dragon cooed happily, infant scales bristling with a soft shudder as it shook its body from a cool gust of wind. The Seeker yelped slightly before turning away in embarrassment. Fane let out a quiet chuckle as he easily guided his young kin back to the other side.

“What? Is it that strange for a child to be energetic and curious? He’s just investigating, Seeker. He’s never seen people like us before. Over time, I’m sure he’ll become more reclusive and aloof, but for now, he’s like a small puppy in his actions.”, Fane explained without much thought, feeling the little dragon happily nuzzle at his pale cheek with a purr. 

Fane naturally nuzzled back with a small smile before catching Solas gazing at him fondly, blue eyes sparkling with quiet happiness. As the white baby dragon continued to nuzzle his cheek, a snowy eyebrow rose in question. There was that look of deep affection again. The look that Solas generally kept locked away unless the two of them were alone. Fane had to wonder what was so endearing to warrant a crack in Solas’s normally reserved mask. 

“What’s that look for, old man?”, Fane inquired with a fond tone, sighing in slight exasperation as the snowy dragon burrowed into the cowl of his jacket to investigate the material. 

Solas chuckled at the sight before shaking his head softly, reaching up once more to tap the small dragon’s long tail. Upon the touch, the newborn snapped up to attention, its small head darting back and forth for the source before its emerald gaze landed on Solas’s smiling face. It let out a happy, squeaky roar as it hopped over to the mage’s shoulders. Solas blinked in surprise before letting out a breathy laugh, tilting his head to the side as the dragon attempted to get more comfortable on its new perch. The elven mage stroked the small head with the back of a finger, the little creature bristling pleasantly. Fane felt his whole chest blossom with gentle warmth as he watched the whole display. Normally, he wasn’t one to wax words such as ‘cute’ or ‘adorable’, but right now, those were the only words he could use to describe such a sight.

“Well, aren’t you a friendly dragon, little one? My shoulders cannot be better than your original perch, but that is your opinion, I suppose.”, Solas almost cooed at the small dragon, his blue eyes sparkling with nostalgia and warmth. 

Fane smirked softly at the sight of his kin and his lover. This was what it was meant to be like. Dragons and other beings coexisting without fear of the other. Respect was what mattered for dragons. If you respected a dragon’s inherent nature, it would open its wings to you. However, if you feared its nature or were willfully blind to it, you risked its ire. It had happened that way for Solas and Fane. Solas had surprised the then dragon with his openness and understanding. And in turn, Fane had surprised the then young elven god with his loyalty and dedication. It had been the start of a deep bond. A bond that was now tempered with trauma and loss, but ultimately love and acceptance. He hoped his newborn kin would be free from the insanity that plagued Fane and the rest of their kind. However, he knew that it was an inevitable fate. For the time being, that was. He would fix it. He would atone. He would not allow more of his kind to suffer from a lack of action on his part.

“Never again. I will not turn away from those two toned eyes anymore.”, Fane thought with resolve, continuing to take in the sight of two very important things in his life. 

Fane continued to watch with uncommon fondness as the small dragon tried to stretch out its silvery wings, squeaking with effort. Solas looked up at him with a tender expression before motioning his head a bit towards the small creature. A snowy eyebrow raised in question before he saw Solas begin to mouth his words.

“Why don’t you assist him?”, Solas mouthed softly, motioning to the struggling dragon once again. 

Fane blinked in understanding before sighing softly. Well, what was the harm? It was just a simple matter, right? With a soft smile, Fane made a sound akin to what he would have made if he had the lungs of a dragon still, something between a growl and whistle, to draw the newborn’s attention back to him. The little dragon stopped what it was doing immediately, snowy serpentine head perking up like a meerkat’s before it whipped around for the source. Fane chuckled at the tiny confused noise his kin made before repeating the sound more loudly. He knew it sometimes took a few tries to draw a newborn’s attention, especially with how the world was now. This time, the snowy dragon whipped around to face him with joyful emerald gold eyes, letting out a triumphant screech before kicking off of Solas’s shoulders to return up to his own. He watched with amusement as Solas stumbled slightly from the forceful kick, holding a hand out easily to steady the elven man by placing it on his shoulder. Solas gave him a small, grateful smile before standing up straight once more. Fane smiled back with a small smile of his own before sighing in mild exasperation as the tiny dragonling circled around his shoulders like a pacing dog. Well, he never claimed his kin was patient. Very well. 

“Hey, cool it. You need to stretch your wings out, right?”, Fane asked gently, watching as the little dragon’s emerald eyes shone with understanding as its tail flicked in agreement, but squeaked to voice it more soundly, “Thought so. Start by arching your back.”, he instructed with a motion of his finger. 

The snowy dragon shifted on his shoulder before bunching up its body, its body resembling how a cat normally arched when it was threatened or scared. Fane chuckled softly as he gingerly tapped the spindly back legs of the little creature to spread him out a bit more.

“There. Now, slowly, and I mean slowly, let your wings spread open. Don’t force them. Just let them move how they’re intended to, and gravity will take its course.”, he continued to instruct, ignoring the look of pure shock from Cassandra as he watched his tiny kin try to listen to his instructions. 

Fane felt at ease for the first time in months as he watched the silvery wings of the little dragonling open up to their full width. Seeing his kin flourish as they were meant to, made Fane feel a deep pressure of pride in his chest. Even as children, dragons were splendid creatures. Beauty and power, all in one. The little dragonling screeched in happiness and relief as it succeeded in its efforts, emerald eyes looking down at Fane’s own. Fane smiled the largest smile he’d ever felt form on his face as he nodded at the small thing.

“Well done. Every part of your body, every sound you utter, is a part of what makes you a dragon. You’re nature incarnate. Powerful and dominating, but serene and proud. Never forget that. Never forget what you are. Got it?”, Fane said softly, but firmly, his gaze softening with utter fondness as the little dragon screeched again in proud understanding, “Oh? Is that so? Well, you better keep that promise.” 

Fane watched as the snowy dragon hopped around to face Solas with the same proud screech, gingerly moving its wings to show off. Solas merely smiled just as fondly as an elegant hand came up to delicately caress an infant wing. He continued to watch with growing warmth as the little baby screeched and cooed happily at Solas’s soft touches before he felt a light tap to his other shoulder. He glanced back to see the Seeker staring at him with a furrowed brow. He raised one snowy eyebrow in question before realizing he had just done all that with the Seeker present. Ah, shit. He hadn’t even thought about that! Solas was one thing, but the others? Shit. Why did his mind always blank out when he couldn’t afford it to!? 

“Yes, Seeker?”, Fane asked, trying to sound as calm as he could. 

Cassandra tilted her head to look at the little dragon, who was still fawning over Solas like a happy puppy. 

“How did you know to do that?”, Cassandra asked him curiously, pointing to the small dragon’s now gently ebbing wings. 

Fane’s mouth hardened into a thin line as he blew out a huff of air through his nose. How the hell was he supposed to explain this? It’s obvious that he had learned this through his own experience as a dragon, and at times, he had instructed others of his white kin to do the same. However, he couldn’t just divulge that information without preparation. The shock would be tremendous on his inner circle. He couldn’t just say, “Oh, didn’t you know? I was a dragon centuries ago.”. It wouldn’t pan out well. Not at all. So, Fane decided to do the next thing he knew; lie. Lie with a tiny pinch of truth mixed in the broth. He blamed Solas for that particular quirk to his nature. The elven mage was adept at twisting the truth just right, so as to placate another person. So, it went without saying that Fane would have eventually picked up the habit simply by observation. Which he had. Several centuries as an overly observant dragon would do that.

“Oh, that?”, he said, jerking his head towards the little dragon before shrugging gently, “Just a guess, honestly. I saw a diagram in one book that outlined dragon anatomy. It showed how dragon wings opened and folded. I figured it was kind of the same concept for newborns.”, Fane lied as well as he could. 

Cassandra stared at him hard, completely unconvinced with his story. Fane internally cursed the keenness of this woman. She was too observant! He wasn’t completely lying! Where he got the knowledge, yes. About the book? No. He had actually read a book on dragons! He had read many books, in fact, but that was only because he was eager to learn more about his forgotten heritage. However, the more Fane regained his memories, the more puzzled he would feel when reading those books. Many were surprisingly accurate, but others? Not so much. Fane remembered a time he had actually commanded Solas to burn a book with magic. Obviously, the mage had been confused by his shift in demeanor, since Fane had been contentedly reading, but once the dragon had shown him the book and its..’contents’, Solas had done what he asked without another word. Ugh, the thought of that book still sent shivers down his spine. ‘Natural, primal passions’.. Disgusting. Fane could feel Cassandra continuing to bore holes into his face with her suspicion, shaking his head a bit from his wandering thoughts. 

“Think, Fane. Think!”, he pleaded with his mind desperately for another lie.

With a quiet sigh, Fane continued to rack his brain for something more before he heard Solas clear his throat. His gaze glanced back down at the elven god, the little dragon curled up around Solas’s fur lined coat. He blinked softly, not realizing when the little dragon had moved, but smiling fondly at the sight of such comfort. The display of such warm peace in the little creature made Fane’s heart fill with quiet hope, so he couldn’t help but stray from throwing the Seeker off her course for the moment.

“He likes you.”, Fane murmured softly, reaching over to gingerly run a few fingers along whitened scales. 

Solas chuckled softly, stroking the little baby with his knuckles once more as the little dragon let out a small yawn. The mage’s hand moved just a bit to let the small creature shift into a more comfortable position before patting its round head gingerly. Fane’s heart nearly burst with affection at the sight. 

“He is quite the little ball of energy. Much like someone else I know.”, Solas whispered up at Fane softly, giving the mortal dragon a little smirk before turning his gaze back at the questioning Seeker, “The book the Inquisitor spoke about was one of my own, Seeker. I kept it since I thought it would be helpful against the dragon Corypheus possesses.”, Solas explained calmly, his entire demeanor radiating control, “The Inquisitor asked to read it since he had come to me with questions pertaining to that. Suffice it to say, he developed a bit of an obsession from that point on.”, Solas finished with a calm, small smile, body shifting as the little dragon nuzzled into the fur with a sleepily sigh. 

Fane watched as the Seeker stared hard at Solas, brown eyes seemingly searching for an answer to another question in her mind. 

“And where did you get such a book in the first place, Solas?”, Cassandra asked, her brow furrowing again. 

Fane glanced back down at Solas, the mage giving him a calm look before stormy eyes steadily landed back on the Seeker. He truly did hate how observant Cassandra could be. Then again, Fane supposed that’s what made the human a Seeker.

“The University of Orlais. They do extensive research on dragons, Seeker. I sent a list to them of books I wished to procure, and I had asked for one pertaining to dragons. The one Corypheus possesses is unlike any dragon ever seen or recorded, so I wished to verify its nature. That is all.”, Solas said with that same calm expression.

Cassandra and Solas stared at each other for several more moments before the Seeker sighed in defeat. Fane felt himself visibly relax as he had managed to get off scot free. This is why he loved this man. Well, it wasn’t the only reason he loved Solas, but the mage’s cleverness was on the top of the list. Fane would have to treat the elf to something as a way of saying thanks. Maybe he’ll look into those cakes that the mage liked.. He hummed in thought before shaking his head slightly to dislodge his haze before meeting Cassandra’s wary gaze once again. He furrowed his brows yet again. What now?

“Something else wrong, Seeker?”, he asked with mild exasperation.

“Are you sure it is wise to bring it back to Skyhold? Do we even know how large it will grow to be?”, Cassandra asked, looking past Fane to watch the little dragon sleep with a wary gaze. 

Fane’s brow furrowed as he stared at Cassandra. Was she honestly asking this? The dragonling was with them. He was nestled in Solas’s collar. He had travelled this far with them. Wasn’t the answer obvious? And as to the issue of the dragon’s growth..well, he supposed he could be truthful about that tidbit.

“He, not it. They have genders, you know.”, he corrected the Seeker firmly before sighing, “Anyways, he’s young, Seeker. He can do no more damage than a kitten. Obviously, as he grows more bold, we’ll have to find better outlets for instinctual habits, but it’ll be a long time before he grows past the size of a small calf.”, he explained calmly, glancing down on occasion to check on both Solas and the little dragon.

“Will he not grow to be destructive, however? Instinct would surely take its course at a certain age.”, Cassandra asked once more, glancing at the little dragon once again.

Fane’s face deadpanned as he felt familiar irritation rising in his body. Why was that always the thing people associated with this kin? Dragons, when not raging with madness, were the most controlled beings on this plane! They were reclusive back in the days of Arlathan! They only roamed and ravaged now because they had no other choice! They were terrified of this familiar yet strange world, just as he still was! Except Fane felt more anger and disgust when he looked upon the colorless portions of land. The abandoned ruins. The burnt fields. The leveled mountains. All of it was disgusting and corrupted. It was broken, wrong, bound! It was not what his kin were used to! Not what this little one was supposed to be brought into! He would do anything to usher in their world once again! Anything! He would kill anyone and anything! He would ravage crops and buildings! He would sunder the very heavens with a piercing roar! He would-!

Fane closed his eyes with a heavy sigh as he realized his mind was bordering on the edge of darkness.

“Look at me. I constantly say dragons are not savage creatures, and yet, I am voicing thoughts that scream such a trait. I cannot let this madness consume me. Not until I free them. I must endure. I must..”, he thought firmly, taking another steadying breath as he felt a cool hand come up to casually brush some snow from his shoulder.

Fane reopened his eyes to look down at Solas, who was gently retracting his hand to give him a small, sad smile before being nudged rather roughly by the sleeping dragonling. Solas let out a quiet grunt before chuckling warmly. 

“Hm. He is still quite active, even when asleep. Such interesting creatures, dragons are.”, Solas mused with fondness, carefully fluffing up some fur for the sleeping dragon. 

Fane felt his mind clear at the sight of such warmth as he let out a tender chuckle. He couldn’t lose himself. Not when there was still a sliver of hope along the horizon. Normally, Fane would not even entertain the concepts of fate, destiny, and hope, but Solas..constantly reaffirmed that those ideas existed even amidst tragedy and death. He truly would not be able to continue without his wolf. That was the hard truth. However, he would never have to learn what it was like to be without Solas. Not if he had any say in it. Which he did. He would stand firm before any foe that dared to harm him or Solas. There was no doubt about that. They would come out of this bloody, yes, but still alive. Always alive, always whole. They would save their respective people, even if the world despised them. Even if people painted Solas as a betrayer and monster. Even if people painted him as a savage and madman. They would both endure. For however long it would take. Fane wanted more moments like these. Where his kin and Solas’s could coexist without fear or madness. This was what he continued to fight for. As Fane continued to watch the two beings, he couldn’t help but feel calm and at ease despite all the pointed questions.

“We don’t have anything to worry about, Seeker. Dragons are not savages by nature. They are calm, controlled, and proud. It is their insanity that corrupts them from their natural order. How would you feel if you awoke in a world that was so different, yet so familiar? Where your entire race was nearly extinct?”, he asked without much thought, unable to hold in these emotions any longer as he continued to watch the small resting dragon, “Would you be able to sit by as confusion and fear consumed you? Would you accept that this was how the world was even as your heart cried out that it was wrong? Would you not wish to destroy it in its unfamiliarity, hoping it would smash the facade and potentially bring what you knew back?”, he continued, catching sight of Solas’s warning, but masked sorrowful expression, “This world is not the world of dragons. It is a prison to them. And I will not sit by and watch as they continuously suffer because of ignorance. This dragonling is the last of m- his specific breed, and I will not allow this corrupted world to infect him. Not when he has a chance. A chance that the others of his kin were barred from because of a lack of action.”, Fane finished quietly, but with determination.

Fane could feel Solas burning holes into the side of his face as the mortal dragon glanced down with apologetic grimace. He blew it, didn’t he? He hadn’t meant to go off like that, but the sight of his kin so at peace and happy struck a nerve within his draconic soul. Fane couldn’t continue to act as someone else while his people suffered right before his eyes! He understood that he had to reign it in until the right moment, but when would it be right? Every day, every month, more and more of his kin appear, and they were increasingly more insane than the last. It was heart wrenching and excruciating to watch! Maybe he should just come clean! Explain it all! These creatures claimed to be his ‘friends’, so they should understand! They should-! Another touch to his shoulder had Fane freezing for a moment until he realized that it was Solas touching him, glancing down warily to be met with concerned, but stern stormy eyes. Solas’s face was etched into a stone mask as he stared up at him. Fane let out a heavy sigh. He knew what that look was. Right. Relax. Don’t jump to conclusions. Another moment went by before Fane’s pointed ears twitched at yet another heavy sigh from the Seeker, turning his gaze back to her immediately with bated breath. 

“Very well. You are the Inquisitor, and you have the authority to keep whatever you wish, if you believe it to be for the best. You do not have to wax philosophies to sway me.”, Cassandra finished with a small smile, “I will admit, he is rather endearing.”, reaching over tentatively to lightly touch a single scale before recoiling at the little creature growling in protest.

Fane blinked in surprise before running a hand through his snowy hair, letting out a breathy laugh as he gazed up into the never ending sky. That was too close. Solas would definitely give him an earful later on, but what mattered now was that nothing had exploded in his face for once. Relief was a wonderful, wonderful feeling.

“Fuck my ass and every other hole that I own, I nearly blew it.”, Fane muttered in elvish as he rubbed at his face slowly. 

Solas let out a shocked sputter at his words, his stone mask falling away with indignance. Fane let his hand fall from his face before raising a snowy eyebrow at the shocked elf in a questioning fashion. What? Did he say something wrong? Solas knew for a fact that he didn’t have the most pure mouth, so him swearing wasn’t surprising, and yet, the mage looked mortified, or was it flustered? Fane could never tell, honestly.

“What’s your issue?”, Fane asked, genuinely puzzled by the expression on Solas’s face.

“Did you honestly have to phrase such a thing like that? You have a verbose vocabulary, vhenan! Must you squander it all the time?!”, Solas exclaimed with a faint blush dusting his cheeks, the little dragon around his neck only budging with a little sigh. 

Ohhh, so that’s what had the elf in such a tizzy? His lewd phrase? Of course it was. Fane wouldn’t call his lover a prude, but Solas tended to get downright modest about some of the things he would spew. Especially when the dragon would use elvish. It either seemed to strike a discordant cord in the mage or a pleasant one, depending on the day. And today, it seemed it was a mixture of both. Ohh, this would be fun for him! Fane snorted before smirking slightly, glancing down at the indignant elf with sparkling emerald eyes, the flecks of gold within them blazing amber with mirth.

“How else would you like me to say it? Should I phrase it like, “Fuck the Dread Wolf’s ass until he howls”? Because I think that one sounds just as good.”, he said slowly and deeply, his smirk growing. 

Solas’s eyes widened more before his glare sharpened to a razor sharp blue edge. Fane only smirked more as he watched the mage’s face steadily turn pink. Ohhh, how he loved getting the god riled up. It was entertaining to ruffle his cool exterior. The two merely stared holes into each other before pointed ears twitched at the sound of Cassandra clearing her throat, both he and Solas glancing over at the human woman.

“If you two are finished, we should make haste to the camp to prepare for the journey back. I will..attempt to explain, through letter, how we have recruited a dragon.”, Cassandra said with a heavy sigh before marching ahead of the two elves.

Fane hummed absently. Poor human. He wondered when she would realize the little one wasn’t the first dragon she had recruited. Then again, he had just panicked with the thought of his identity being revealed. Maybe it was for the best that they all kept believing he was an elf. At least for now. Fane watched the Seeker hurry down the bridge with a bored expression before grunting in surprise as he felt Solas yank him down by his collar to glare into his shimmering emerald eyes. Oh, well, it looked as if someone was unhappy. Guess that was his fault, huh?

“‘Fuck the Dread Wolf’s ass until he howls’? Honestly, Fane? Honestly?”, Solas growled out, tugging on the collar of his jacket at each word. 

Fane snorted with a smirk as he saw the faint blush that colored the mage’s pale cheeks, the color dusting the tips of his pointed ears as well. This was incredibly entertaining, and he wasn’t going to lie, a bit arousing. He was still trying to get used to that concept of desire and want, but the warmth in his body was pleasant enough that he didn’t feel too uneasy by it anymore. 

“Hey now, watch the language. The little one will hear you.”, Fane said innocently, jerking his chin towards the sleeping dragonling. 

Solas let out another quiet, frustrated growl before letting Fane go. He watched as the mage took a deep breath to calm himself before reaching up to cup Fane’s pale cheeks, leaning up to gaze into emerald pools. Fane blinked softly before his gaze softened considerably, the teasing smirk disappearing from his face to be replaced by a neutral, but warm expression. He could tell when Solas was asking him to be serious, and the look of tender concern and stern disapproval on the mage’s face had him shifting into that tone easily. He knew what was really going on.   

“You need to be more conscious of what you say, vhenan. At least until this is over. I do not want any harm to befall you before we are ready to face it.”, Solas murmured to him softly, the mage tilting his head a bit to nudge Fane’s cheek, “Guilt would eat away at me, even more than it already does, if something happened to you. So, please, reign it in. I know it pains you to continue to have to do this, but it is what you must do, just as I have to continue down the bloody path that I walk upon. It will have an end, my dragon. It will, but you must be patient and self aware. Do not let the blackness consume your nature as well.”, Solas pleaded with him in a hushed voice, continuing to delicately nudge his cheek. 

Fane sighed deeply before managing a tiny nod. He knew Solas was right. He knew that the mage’s little outburst there wasn’t just because of his crude words. Solas had warned him time and again to be more careful with what he revealed. He hadn’t meant to ramble like he did, but the words had just poured out along with his emotions. He was finding it harder and harder to keep silent as the more dragons cropped up, and the more ignorance that spilled from the other’s mouths. Even so, he would not jeopardize him or Solas with badly controlled emotions. There was a time and a place for such words, and that was when they were alone with each other. Fane rested his own gloved hands over Solas’s cool ones that were tenderly holding his face, his emerald eyes narrowing in a gaze of fondness.

“I know. I know..”, he said quietly before nudging back at Solas’s own cheek, nearly connecting their lips. 

Solas stilled his head with a firm grasp before carefully slotting their lips together. Fane froze for a moment before relaxing with a quiet sigh through his nose, tilting his head carefully to deepen their kiss. This aspect of their relationship was still new to Fane. Never once had he ever felt such love and desire course through his being, so as a dragon, he had never sought out physical contact with others. Even as an elf, Fane had never desired physical gratification. It wasn’t until he and Solas finally shared their first kiss that that spark had ignited within his core. Especially with how the two kissed. Their kisses were slow and careful, ebbing with affection and receding with tenderness. They were not rushed, or hurried. They were patient and soul deep, just as the two’s bond was. It was eternal and never ending. They had no need to rush when time stretched out before them like a vast desert, sand awaiting for them to mold it with their hands. Fane gingerly removed Solas’s hands from his face as he pressed in deeper, pinning the elf’s hands to his chest softly. Solas let out a soft hum as he allowed Fane to take the lead, matching his movements with ease. It was almost uncanny how the two of them seemed to mold to each other as if they had done this a thousand times before. Perhaps it was the bond, or Fane’s vow at work, but either way, they were practically one whole being that thought and moved in time with the other. Fane let his hands move from Solas’s, confident the man would leave them on his chest before he grasped the mage’s jaw tenderly, tilting his head back to lightly nip at his lips. The sound of approval from Solas had Fane letting out a deep growl as he pulled back a little, opening his emerald eyes just a bit to gaze into hazy blue. He truly could get lost in that stormy, deep sea if he stared too long. Honestly, Fane wouldn’t mind drowning if it led to more of those dazed looks from the elf. Especially when such a look stirred up heat within his core with the desire to claim. 

“Open for me.”, he commanded deeply and softly, lightly stroking Solas’s jawline with his thumbs. 

Solas’s face deepened in its hue, presumably at his words before the mage chuckled softly, gingerly reaching up to stroke under Fane’s chin with a few fingers. The action made Fane hum around a low growl, something akin to purr, as he pulled Solas even closer to his muscled frame. Oh, the man knew exactly where to touch him. It was almost infuriating, if it didn’t feel so nice. 

“Careful, you do not wish to corrupt the young one, do you?”, Solas echoed his words from before, continuing to stroke his fingers back and forth under Fane’s chin. 

Fane felt a harsh pull in his lower gut as a deep rumble sounded in his chest, pulling Solas’s face close to nip at the mage’s lips gingerly. Emerald eyes glanced at the peacefully resting dragon before diverting back to the calm blue orbs that he so dearly cherished. 

“You honestly have no idea how much I’m trying to hold back right now..”, Fane growled out deeply, gingerly flicking his tongue out to brush against the spot he nipped. 

Solas froze for a moment before the mage let out a shuddering sigh, face awash with a deep hue of pink as he seemed to shrink under Fane’s blazing gaze. The sight of such guarded submissiveness had Fane letting out another deep growl. 

“I think I may have a good idea.”, Solas murmured out with a small smirk before surging forward to connect their lips once more, still keeping the same languid pace, but putting more force behind it. 

Fane grunted in surprise, but ultimately responded easily, removing his hands from Solas’s face to wrap around the mage’s waist tightly. A soft, pleased sound from Solas had Fane responding boldly as he delicately slipped his tongue into the mage’s mouth. He felt Solas’s body freeze in momentary surprise before a gentle shudder ran from his shoulders to his lower back. Fane couldn’t help but smirk a little at that. He knew Solas always endeavored to be in control of any and every situation. It was just how the elf had always been. Back in Arlathan, the man had been a dominating force, hot headed and reckless at times, but Fane had seen past it with keen draconic eyes. Solas had always been but a breadth width away from potentially crumbling with the weight. The elf always took on more than he could handle, even as Fane had stood by his side. Solas had been tirelessly working to free every slave that he could. He had nearly exhausted himself with every spell that would take away the markings that branded a slave. He would return to Fane in the wee hours of the morning looking worn and frustrated as his words once again did not reach any of the other Evanuris. The then dragon had always wanted to ease that burden, but he had been powerless to do more than simply fight. Fane could do nothing about the silent anguish and deafening cries that the elf’s soul would scream out in the dead of night. He could only watch and listen. However, now, as he holds the elf he vowed to centuries ago, Fane realized he could do more. He no longer had to merely lay curled up on a stone floor, watching sorrowfully with golden emerald eyes as the wolf he had chosen to fight for soulfully screamed out his pain, his anguish, his mistake. No, now he could hold him, weather the storm with him, and allow his love to relinquish a measure of his tightly bound control. Fane would happily shoulder any burden, any sorrow, if it meant Solas would be that much more at ease. And the dragon knew, without a doubt, that Solas would do the same for him, without hesitation. So, even if it was something as simple as a mortal gesture, he would do it a thousand times, in a thousand different ways, if it brought Solas the release the man desperately needed. His wolf would never be alone in a muted world again. Never again. 

Fane’s brows furrowed with emotion as his thoughts began to intensify his desire, slowly working his tongue around Solas’s with a tad more insistence. A soft moan made his pointed ears twitch in satisfaction as Fane chipped away at the wall that was the mage’s control. He pressed in even deeper, an even louder, choked gasp sounding as he felt Solas literally melt into his arms, practically allowing Fane to claim everything that he had to give. Yes. That was what he wanted Solas to do. Give him everything. Give him his burdens, his love, his control, his pain, his everything. He wanted nothing more than to voice that the mage would never be alone again. Their plans could fail, could come back to slap them in the face, but they would never be alone again. They were kin, even if they were completely different in blood. Fane bore the body of the elven god’s kin, while Solas housed the fiery spirit of his draconic brethren. They were different, but wholly the same. 

Fane let out a deep growl as he practically drowned in the kiss, the pace quickening by a degree, but never going beyond what either could handle. One of his hands slowly shifted to the hem of Solas’s tunic once more, the mage twitching at the contact before redoubling his passion. 

“To think, I used to shun such actions. Foolish..”, he thought absently as he felt Solas nip at his bottom lip, eliciting a sharp growl from the depths of his chest. 

After several more moments of swirling tongues and harsh nips, Solas pulled away from him, his chest heaving with the want for air. Fane pulled back as well, panting just as harshly as his emerald eyes shone with gold, the irises flitting to take in every inch of the mage’s face. The sight of such a lack of control made Fane insistently nuzzle at the elf’s flushed cheek. He was shackled, but not with slavery or duty, but with love, with kindness, with understanding. It was a prison Fane would never mind. 

“We will never be apart again. Do you hear me?”, Fane whispered desperately, stopping his nuzzling to look into glassy, but slightly shimmering deep blue eyes.

Solas was still trying to regain his breath as he managed a tiny, warm smile. The elf’s hand came up to cover his blush as he fought to regain his composure before he managed a firm nod.

“Loud and clear, ma vhenan.”, Solas whispered back breathily, his blush slowly beginning to recede as the tiny smile grew into a fonder one, “Even if I wanted to part, my own heart would not allow it. You make me terrifyingly weak.”, he breathed out with a light chuckle.

Fane snorted quietly before rolling his eyes with a small smile. So dramatic, his elf was.

“And you think you don’t make me the same? You have me practically whipped. Disgusting.”, Fane grumbled out teasingly, nuzzling the elf’s now warm cheek. 

Solas actually let out a laugh at that. The softness laced in that laugh made Fane’s small smile grow even wider as he relished in the happy sound. Yes. He would do everything and more to continue to elicit those types of reactions. 

“Is that so?”, Solas asked, still laughing quietly at Fane’s comment.

“Mm-hm.”, the elven dragon responded as he delicately stroked one of Solas’s cheekbones. 

Solas leaned into his touch easily, deep stormy eyes swimming with unguarded happiness. Fane felt his own golden emerald eyes reflected the same emotion as he let out a fond huff. He may have said he was whipped as a joke, but it was the truth. He was irrevocably tied to this elf without any way out. He was devoted to Solas like the humans were devoted to their absent god. Could he be exaggerating a bit? Maybe. However, the fact still remained that he adored this mage with all his heart, impending insanity be damned. Fane felt the urge to close in for another kiss, and gingerly cupped Solas’s face with every intent to do so. Solas let him do whatever he wished without a fuss, closing his eyes softly. Just as Fane was about to connect their lips once more, his vision swam with white scales and curious golden emerald eyes. What..? Oh, for fuck’s sake! Really?! 

“Hello, little guy. Thought you were sound asleep.”, Fane said blandly, his own two toned eyes staring blankly at the intrusive little dragonling. 

The snowy dragon squeaked happily at being acknowledged, its serpentine head tilting side to side with utter curiosity. Solas, who was once again shaking with the effort to not laugh too loudly, shook his head in amused exasperation. 

“Come now, vhenan. Did you truly believe he would not awaken from such boldness?”, Solas said with a teasing glimmer in his deep eyes, reaching up to stroke the tiny dragon’s snowy head, “Do you not agree, little one? Utterly inappropriate for one so young.”, the mage cooed softly to the little dragon, who bristled happily with a soft chirp in agreement. 

Fane felt his own metaphorical scales bristle at the chiding and teasing before throwing a hand in the air in exasperation. The elf was the one who encouraged his actions! Those sounds and those shudders..! Ugh!

“Hmph. Says the one who started making such lewd noises.”, Fane bit back with his own teasing sneer, “You’re the bigger corrupting influence. To think, I let you around my only remaining snowy kin. Utterly disgusting.”

Solas shot him a glare from the corner of his eyes, continuing to stroke the dragonling as it began to nestle back into the mage’s furry collar.

“I do not make such sounds.”, Solas defended himself with a faint blush, beginning to walk along the bridge once more. 

Fane snorted before starting to follow beside his embarrassed elf, smirking slightly as he watched Solas’s face resort back to that stony mask he used when he was trying to conceal his embarrassment or nervousness. 

“I’m pretty sure the entire Fade heard you just then, love. Makes me wonder what other noises you can make.”, he teased relentlessly, smirking more when he saw the twitch in Solas’s eyebrow. 

Solas breathed a steadying breath through his nose as he picked up his gait, the little dragon jostling with the movement, but merely huffing sleepily. Fane barked out a single laugh at the increased pace before rolling his eyes in fond exasperation. What an utter fool this man could be. Everyone saw a straightlaced, calm, and calculating elf, but Fane knew what Soals really was. Solas was merely a person with emotions that had been concealed for far too long, had the weight of the world and his people on his shoulders, and undeniably one of the softest men you will ever meet. You just had to crack through his cold exterior to find those qualities. Or in Fane’s case, insistently tease and pester the old elf. 

“Oh, come on! Don’t you think it’s nice the Fade is gonna remember you moaning? I know I’ll love the memory.”, Fane continued his teasing, seeing another agitated twitch in the elf’s eyebrow. 

He’s getting close. Fane can feel it. Just a bit more. Solas stared pointedly ahead, still not acknowledging his remarks, but his Fane saw minor twitches in the man’s stony mask. 

“I can see it now; just you splayed out under me, just begging in that voice. Your face flushed, your chest heaving, sweat just dripping from our bodies. And I would sink my teeth in right-”, he started to say, gingerly swiping his index finger along Solas’s fluttering pulse point, the mage shuddering slightly, “-here. Then you’d really let out a cry.”, he finished around a deep purr. 

Solas stopped suddenly, head slowly turning to look up at the smirking dragon before his eyes hardened into a warning glare, but Fane could see the suppressed desire in them. Oh, yeah. Now, he knew Solas was feeling it. 

“Vhenan.”, Solas bit out around a clenched jaw before letting out a long sigh and smirking wolfishly.

Fane blinked a few times in surprise. Uh. Shit. He pushed too far, didn’t he? Oh, yeah. He did.

“Uh, yeah?”, he said all so elegantly, emerald eyes darting away and to the mage’s deep blue. 

Solas slowly strode up to him, looking up with his chin tilted in a show of control before laying a tender kiss right along Fane’s jawline. He shuddered slightly at the warm feeling that dropped to his gut.

“I do hope you live up to these expectations you are setting. I would hate to see such a proud dragon unable to..perform accordingly. The idea of you begging for me is quite..enticing, however.”, Solas murmured against his skin seductively before quickly pulling away with a serene smile, waving an elegant hand for him to follow, “Come. We should catch up before the Seeker begins to ask more questions.”

Fane stood in complete shock at Solas’s words before bracing himself against the stone bridge’s railing, letting his head droop down as he let out a shaky laugh. His whole body was shaking with want! This was not a feeling he was used to, but oh, how he wanted more of it! He heard Solas’s soft footsteps continue down the smooth bridge as Fane took a few breaths to try to wash most of the heat away before pushing himself off the stone with a grunt. 

“This dragon can perform exceptionally well, elf. Where I lack in experience, I have in instinct. I will wreck you.”, he growled out deeply to the air, knowing Solas couldn’t hear him from how far he was down the bridge. 

With a pleased smirk, Fane turned and began following after Solas, his long legs making it easy to catch up with the elven mage. When Fane finally came to walk beside him again, the intense wave of desire was mildly tamed as he felt a cool, gentle hand wrap around one of his own. And just like that, he was extinguished. What a power this elf had over him; to easily snuff out uncommon desire to a smoldering ember of affection. Truly, Fane would be shattered with madness without him. Emerald eyes looked down at the softly smiling expression of Solas as the mage kept his gaze forward, blue eyes swirling with many emotions. Fane huffed out a heavy, amused sigh before intertwining their fingers easily, feeling an echo within his chest from long ago as he gazed between the man he loved the little dragon nestled in his fur collar.

“Amidst these golden hues, I vow to you; Wherever you shall go, I shall also. Whenever you require my aid, I will hasten to your side. If you are ever in danger, I will act as your shield, your immovable wall. Through fire, through brimstone, through the corruption that makes this world decay, I will fight for you with unrelenting fury until dark insanity shatters this vow. No harm will come to you. No immutable force shall crush you. No sorrow will be shouldered alone as long as I am by your side to hold it. I am your dragon, Dread Wolf. For now and forever. Not even the passage of time will sever my bond with you. This is my vow to you made amidst golden hues, recognized with emerald pools, and cemented within snow covered flesh. The might of a dragon is yours. As well as its love. May we both coexist and fight together for ages to come.”, he whispered out tenderly, feeling the words of his sacred vow spilling forth from the wells of his soul.

Solas’s expression cracked into an pained, but heartwarming countenance as he heard the words pour from Fane’s lips, responding with a harsh, but tender squeeze to the dragon’s hand. Fane smiled lovingly at that before pulling the mage closer so they could walk even closer side by side, the little dragonling’s tail coming to wrap around the both of them.

Yes. This was how it should and it would be again. They would have their happy ending, even if all before it was tragedy and despair. There was light among darkness. There was hope among despair. There was an end. They were simply the beginning, and the little dragon who was the last of his snowy kin? It was the end. The end Fane’s heart yearned for. His kin would flourish, live, endure. They would endure until the world no longer had a sky they could fly in. However, until that time came, Fane would do all he could to make sure not only his dream, but the dream of his love, came true. No matter the cost, the two of them would find sanity amidst insanity. 

For Fane was the dragon of whitened snow with emerald eyes amidst golden vows. 

The dragon of the Dread Wolf.

[emma-nation]

Unfinished Business - F! Sam Dalton x MC Fanfiction (Chapter 3)

Summary: When Sam Dalton is caught in a scandal, Anna Schuyler is the only one who can help her. But will her former nanny be able to leave the past behind?

“Samantha Dalton was like one of good dreams you don’t want to wake up from. You close your eyes, you force your brain to remember every minor detail, you begin to imagine what comes next… hoping to be in control. You want to fall asleep again. You want it to continue, but it’s too late now. You’re wide awake.”

Genre: Angst, Romance

Tag List: @save-me-the-last-dance, @nydeiri (If you wish to be tagged for future chapters/fics of this pairing, let me know)

Being back to that motel room brought a turmoil of feelings inside Anna's chest. Deep down, she knew the real reason why she was standing in the same room as Sam Dalton again. Yet, she felt the constant need of reminding it to her brain, and especially her heart.

"I'm doing this for Jack," she repeated mentally. "I must get the money to pay for his treatment."

"I'm glad you accepted my offer, Anna," Sam said. "But it's late now, you should probably get some rest. Tomorrow we can start to work."

"Right, I'll get a room."

She knew what Sam was about to offer, so she anticipated herself and left through the door, giving her no chance to speak. There was absolutely no possibility she'd spend the night in the same room as that woman. By the morning, she could grab Sam's gadgets and work by herself. They didn't have to speak, or even see each other. That was a professional deal and nothing more.

"My apologies, Ms. Schuyler," the receptionist spoke as she typed on her computer. "We're crowded."

"Uhhh... I... I only need a bed for a few hours," Anna handed her some extra cash. "Anything is fine."

Even the janitor's room would be better than sharing the bed with her ex lover. It was almost scientifically proven that any physical contact between them could not end well. Or it could end too well, considering how great she was in bed. Anna shook her head dismissing those thoughts.

"Ms. Schuyler, you don't understand. We don't have any rooms."

"Fine! I'll sleep right here."

She stomped to a small couch in the reception room, trying to curl her body enough to make herself a little bit comfortable. She closed her eyes for a minute, when a voice brought her back from her failed attempt of falling asleep.

"Really, Anna?" Sam sighed. "You can take my bed. I'll sleep on the floor."

"I don't want it, thank you," she quickly closed her eyes again. "I don't want to be so near to you in such a small space."

"You can take my room then. I'll... I'll stay up, walking around. I haven't been able to sleep since it all started anyways."

Anna opened her eyes again. Sam seemed to be exhausted. Her face gave it away. The scandal was truly affecting her. After dedicating her whole life to that company, she was about to lose everything. Including her children if she went to jail. And that was when their eyes met.

"I can't believe I'm here," she rolled her eyes on the bed. She was trying hard to not move, or make any sounds that indicated she was still awake. Sam kept her promise, she was sleeping on the floor, very far away from the bed. "Those damn puppy dog eyes. They make her seem so innocent!"

"Good night, Anna," what was it? Was she reading thoughts now?

"Good night, Sam," she rolled to the side, facing the wall until she fell asleep.

When she woke up in the morning, Sam was already awake. Outside the room she seemed to be busy on the phone with her lawyers. Anna took a shower and changed her clothes before she returned.

"Anna, good morning," Sam met her after some time. "I didn't want to wake you up."

"I didn't want to disturb your phone call," Anna told. "Any important news?"

"They've set the trials to start three weeks from now. We'll need to work fast. But I told them I may have found a manner to prove my innocence, they're optimistic."

"Okay then, let's get to work."

Anna turned on Sam's computer. Password protected. The first step to narrow the suspect's list was to discover how safe Sam's password could be. Anna tried a few guesses.

"What are you doing?" The CEO asked.

"Trying to guess your password," Anna answered. "Through this, we can find out how close to you our suspect can be."

"This is smart. Though I can't think of anyone who would be able to guess it."

"Not even Sofia?"

"No, she wouldn't know."

After lots of combinations, Anna threw her hands in the air. Without an expert cracking method, it was impossible. Sam approached, typing a combination of numbers and letters: 'M9S16N2M00CK7Y'.

"Hmmm it's long and safe," she asked curiously. "What is it by the way?"

"A mix of the boys' names and the date I met their mom," Sam told.

"Your first wife, huh? You never talk much about her, so I guess no one would find out so easily."

Sam's expression suddenly became distant and somber. Her current situation was probably making all those old feelings resurface.

"The truth is I still feel guilty for her death. We had a fight that day, she thought I was spending too much time at work. I realized she was right, I came home with a surprise and... I received the news of her accident."

"I'm sorry. This wasn't your fault, Sam. It was a tragedy."

Not wanting to get involved, Anna turned her attention back to the computer screen. She didn't know where to start searching first. She wasn't sure she wanted to have all the pictures, videos and evidence of the last two happy years Sam spent with Sofia thrown in her face all at once. She wasn't ready for this.

"Okay..." she took a deep breath. "Remember, you're here for the money."

As she started scanning the folders for any suspicious files or activity, she was surprised. Most of the pictures were of Mason and Mickey, a few of Sam's parents and only a couple where she was accompanied by her wife. Her marriage seemed boring and unhappy, different from what the tabloids would often paint.

"So, did you find anything?" Sam asked after a few minutes.

"Not yet. Whoever is doing this to you was smart enough to not leave any tracks or..."

"Or what?"

"They didn't hack you. They had direct access to your computer."

"Are you suggesting..."

"You should trust no one. Not even Sofia, or Robin."

Sam's cell phone was now their only hope to find proof. Anna plugged it on the laptop and using some advanced software, she started analyzing its activity. It didn't take long for her to come across some evidence.

"Crap!" She shouted.

"What's going on?" Sam want to know.

"Not only somebody has hacked your phone, Sam. But they've bugged you too."

"Damn, they listened to all my conversation with the lawyers. They know what I'm trying to do!"

"Well, on a brighter side you need to take this to the police as soon as possible. It'll be more than enough to prove you didn't send that email."

Anna collected her stuff, Sam did the same. Now all she had to do was wait for her paycheck and leave. Easy as that. But before, she was going to grab some breakfast. All the adrenaline of the last few hours had her starving.

"Uh, what are you doing?" She asked, noticing Sam had followed her to the motel's cafeteria. "Aren't you going home?"

"I haven't had breakfast yet and..." And. Followed by the puppy dog eyes. Anna knew there was something else. "I was hoping you could come with me to the police station."

"I'm sorry, Sam. I don't wanna get any more involved, I've already have a ton to deal with right now. "

"I understand. Can you at least take me back to New York? Carter is with the boys in my parents' house."

Anna sighed in frustration. Everytime she thought she'd free herself from any contact with Sam, something new would come up. Again, she needed money and the CEO had more than enough to pay extra for a rid back to New York. She agreed. All for Jack... and a little revenge too. Samantha Dalton would be literally paying for every tear she made her cry.

"What's going on?" As they walked back to the room, Sam attempted to break the awkward silence that was always present between them. "In your life, I mean. You said you're dealing with a lot right now."

"It's... personal," Anna didn't want to give her details about her stepfather's health. "Family issues."

"Is this why you accepted my offer, Anna? Are you having money issues?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does, because I still ca-" Sam's sentence was cut short by the surprise of seeing the door was open. "Did I forget to lock it when we left?"

"No, I'm pretty sure you did," Anna said. "I remember seeing you lock it."

As they entered, the room had been completely trashed. All of their clothes and belongings were scattered on the floor.

"No..." Sam rushed inside, knowing exactly what could be missing. She started searching everywhere for her cell phone and laptop. "No... it can't be."

Anna decided to help her. There wasn't any signs of the devices until she opened the bathroom's door and found they had been destroyed in a million pieces. Sam stood by her side, her mouth opened in shock and her eyes full of tears.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Anna placed a hand on her shoulder. "Someone is really determined to destroy you."

"What am I going to do now?" The woman sat on the edge of the bed. It was the second time Anna was actually seeing her cry. The only thing that had affected Samantha so badly in the past was her accident in Italy, days before her wedding with Sofia.

"I don't know..." Anna walked to the window. As she contemplated the world outside, she noticed as a black car was watching them. Its windows were heavily tinted, but she could distinguish the figure of a man behind the wheel. As soon as he noticed her staring, he drove away. "Damn it, we're being followed."

Sam was fast enough to approach in time to see the car leaving.

"We're not safe here, Anna."

"Right, you should go to your parents' house with the boys. I'm coming back to my small hometown, where I know no one will even bother following me there."

"I can't risk putting their lives in danger," Sam said, placing her clothes back into the bags. "I'm coming with you."

"What?!" Anna tried to protest, she tried to think of reasonable excuse to voice and prevent that madness from happening. It was too late, paralyzed with shock, she was already back to her car with Samantha, headed to Rhode Island.

"I hate myself," she thought, glancing discreetly at the passenger's seat. "It can't get any worse than this. Can it?"

As they parked in front of Anna's childhood home, she began to wonder what she'd be telling her parents about Sam. It was a small town. Even if the scandal had made to the national news, no one would ever imagine the CEO would be hiding there. They probably wouldn't even recognize her.

Her phone started ringing. It was Jenny. Now it would be the right time for some friendly advice. She left the car for privacy, standing under a tree.

"Hey Jenny."

"Hey. You promised me daily news, don't you remember?"

"I do, but not even in your wildest dreams you could imagine what happened..."

She told her everything, from Jack's illness to the fact Sam Dalton was inside her car, minutes away from being introduced to her family.

"Anna, you should have dropped her in the middle of the road!" Jenny yelled. "She's not your problem. She's her wife's problem. And it's not like she can't afford the best lawyers in the country, people like her will never go to jail."

"You're right," Anna agreed. "I should. Yet, I had no strength to do so. Even after everything she did to me, I couldn't stand seeing her suffer. God, I'm so stupid..."

"No, Anna. You have this great heart that will always help people, no matter who they are. This is part of you, and one of the reasons why I love you so much."

"Thank you, I... I learned it from Jack."

"Then go save him, you're doing the right thing. Even if it's crazy and absolutely stupid."

She turned off her phone and returned to the car. It was time to enter the house and face her parents.

"Ready?" She went back to the car.

"Anna, would you mind borrowing me your phone for a minute?" Sam asked. "I'm gonna call the lawyers to inform the incident."

Anna handed her the phone. But instead of dialing, Sam stared at the screen for minutes. She nervously ran a hand through her hair.

"What's going on? Something wrong?"

"Yes. Helena Hawthorne, the woman I'm being accused to sleep with, she released the pictures to the media. And Sofia is already filing for the divorce."

----------

Notes: (Oh Anna, you have no idea how worse it can get.)

Thank you so much for the feedback. It means a lot to me!

[starfirette]

fantasy | diana prince x reader

»a/n: 😈

»masterlist

» Diana Prince x Reader | sensitive Diana | fem x fem smut | lowkey angst | wordcount: 4,563

Your little London townhouse has a perfect view of the steelyards and its workers who slave away under a sunless sky. It’s your tradition to fall asleep to the sound of them packing up, then to wake up to the sounds of them beginning work again.

To say time passes slowly for you would be a grand understatement.

You tried many times to find happiness in the city, looking high and low in the most unseemly of places. No thing or person could make you happy these days. You sit at a desk most of your life, taking notes for a bitter old man who can’t ever say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. Secretary positions are all the rage these days since it’s the only real way women can make money without signing away their soul and what little freedom that have to an angry, rich man. To be a wife is to be silent and gentle, even if you’re hot tempered by nature. If you were to marry, you would surely have to give up the outlandish dreams you have. You crave independence, freedom, true love; what woman doesn’t yearn for these things? Some women have the unsuspecting loophole to win a man’s affections and hope he will let them at least pretend they have rights.

This option is not one you can choose so easily. You have never had eyes for a man. When you are alone, lounging on your bed or soaking in the tub, you envision yourself in the arms of a woman.

That’s your deepest, darkest ‘secret.’ You badly want to live in a world where your desires of romance don’t count as a real personality trait or as a sin.

You’ve never uttered this secret to anyone, ever. How could you? What friends do you have that are loyal enough to keep that to themselves?

Conversion therapy frightens you a good deal more than a heterosexual marriage. And that’s saying something.

There are plenty of times where you feel completely alone, stranded in silence, and forced to live in your cramped, London townhouse, where the wind whistles through the cracks of the walls and the floorboards creak anxiously. Even in your own home you feel trapped.

The only escape are your books, which you come upon rarely enough as it is. Your books aren’t the type of books women read. Your books are textbooks. Some you’ve purchased under fake names or titles, as if you were shopping for your husband or father. Some you’ve stolen. But all are cherished by you.

The largest wall of your home is lined with weak shelving where you could display your texts happily. Almost proudly.

Ah, to have independence—to be free to study at a university, to do such good with talents reserved solely for a man. And how could they be? What makes you different from a man? You love women, like they do! You breathe, like they do!

It’s the curls of your hair that keeps you from achieving your dreams. The breasts and the curve of your hips which you are coerced into keeping hidden, even on the hottest summer day.

In your ideal world you’d live with a wife, with a few cats and dogs, and you’d be a real doctor of history. A professional, dedicated to her work of uncovering the truths of the world.

In your ideal world...

It doesn’t do good to live in a fantasy land. As cruel as your reality can be, it is the only reality you have. It is in this reality that you must crawl out of bed at five in the morning and be at the office no later than twenty after six, with a plate of pastries and a mug of tea ready for Mr. Landings.

A dreary winter day you leave your London townhouse dressed in a new, fine suit of buttercream cashmere. It had taken the majority of your yearly savings to purchase, but you figured if you cannot be granted the right to bury your head in a woman’s thighs, you can at least dress the way you’d like to.

It’s always best to wake up extra early to be at the front of the bakery line. The freshest breakfast treats sell out first thing of the bakery’s opening, and considering you buy for Mr. Landings, Mr. Trevor, Mr. Carber, and the two respective secretaries, you have no choice but to be at the front of that damned line. This morning the cost of your number three spot was your rouge and lipstick. You feel absolutely plain, but your fine suit cancels out most of the insecurity.

You managed to get a good number of items. On your way out you found most of the line to be other secretaries, dressed in their own cashmere suits and nervously tapping their heels. No doubt they were praying the bakery didn’t sell out of breakfast goodies. You tip your hat down to avoid meeting their eyes. You’ve had your share of failed food runs, and it’s never fun.

You run across the street, only able to take sparing steps as your heels wrestle against loose gravel. You arrive to the office at the perfect time, with your fellow secretaries Etta Candy and Julia Deneiros still in the process of unlocking the doors.

“Sorry I’m late,” you murmured to your work friends.

“You have nothing to apologize for when you have the breakfast, my dear,” Julia assured you.

As Etta got the doors open, Julia ushered you in first. You hurried to set the treasure down on the main desk of the office. Once that was out of the way, you started tea in the side room, then proceeded to settle at your ‘desk.’ It was a small slate of red stained wood, though the legs sometimes wobbled and creaked. Your telephone on the left, accompanied by the contacts you kept for Mr. Landings, hardly rang as Etta usually took care of every business call.

Emptying your pockets took hardly a minute. You set your coin purse and silver pocket watch on the wood before shuffling through the loose pages that cluttered your workspace.

The tea kettle lets out a whistle. Julia tended to it herself, and you softly muttered a ‘Thank you’ but she’d already been gone.

Around a nibble of croissant, Etta wondered aloud whether Mr. Trevor would be coming in today.

You shrug without looking away. "Perhaps he's gotten himself a lucky lady,” you suggested. Julia poured you a steaming cup of tea.

You half expected Etta to scold you, but she instead made a small sound of agreement. “I suppose he could have found himself an exotic bride!” Etta laughed.

Julia giggled like a school girl, choking on her words: “We mustn’t gossip!”

Even though she said as such, she couldn’t help but to entertain the topic. The two ladies remarked that Mr. Trevor would settle with one woman the day the sky turned green.

And for a moment, you agreed with them, humming softly into your tea before you took a cautious sip.

For a brief moment the world was just right—and then Mr. Trevor quite literally waltzed inside with a beautiful woman.

Now, beautiful couldn’t properly describe this woman. What you notice first was her lips, round and quirked as though she was seeing an office like this for the first time in her life. Her eyes sparkled with a million untold stories.

Also, she appeared to be wearing the strangest of costumes. A coat of black fur strapped close to her waist, but every step she took revealed flashes of bare legs. You could have fainted.

Etta only saw the face of her boss, and she cheered. “You’re not dead!” She exclaimed. She doted over the wrinkles of Steve Trevor’s suit before hitting him over the chest with friendly familiarity. “I did think you were dead, you know.”

You frowned. “No, you didn’t,” you mumbled halfheartedly. You made to your feet, shuffling over to greet Mr. Trevor. “Hello,” you said, nodding your head.

The young woman met your eyes and she smiled, showcasing her perfect, pearly teeth.

“I’m Y/n L/n,” you say, forcing yourself not to stutter. Etta introduced herself next, holding a hand out to the woman for a handshake. While that would have been proper, you find it’s rather scary to shake hands with attractive people.

“We ladies are Mr. Trevor and Mr. Landings’s secretary.”

She cocked a thick brow. “What is a secretary?” She has a thick accent, one you can’t quite recognize, but it’s rather musical.

“Oh, well, we do everything. Go where tells me to go, do what he tells me to do.”

The woman looked flabbergasted. “Where I’m from that’s called slavery!”

You laughed before you could stop yourself. Both you and Etta became large fans of the woman, who introduced herself as Diana. No last name, but she seemed so confident with the partial title that you couldn’t bring yourself to ask.

“Would you like a cup of tea? Shall I take your coat?” You offered. Can we run away and get married and adopt lots of babies?

“Oh, thank you,” Diana beamed. She went to shrug off her fur, and you quickly stopped her when you saw what she had been wearing under it. Etta lurched to tie the coat up tight, making Diana grunt as the air was pushed from her lungs.

You laugh nervously, eyeing Mr. Trevor, who looked annoyed rather than surprised.

“Fantastic,” Mr. Trevor snubbed. “Ladies, would we care for a trip to, uhm, get Diana new...well, new…”

“Clothes?” You suggested when Mr. Trevor became clearly uncomfortable.

“Yes, that, thank you.”

“Mr. Trevor I would be more than willing to, but I do have to wait for Mr. Landings—”

“Nonsense, Miss L/n, Julia can manage on her own. Let’s just be on our way.” You gathered your few things, shoving your coin purse and silver watch deep into your pocket. “Sorry, Julia, dear,” you say. She shakes her head. “It isn’t a bother. Try to enjoy your day out of the office.”

You smiled and waved her goodbye before joining Mr. Trevor and the ladies.

Mr. Trevor inquired where you and Etta frequent for clothes. You suggested Paya’s Apparel, but Etta suggested Madame Penny’s Dresser. You tried not to take notice when Mr. Trevor sized your outfit up to Etta’s. He dubbed Etta’s suit no doubt fancier and declared Madame Penny’s.

Diana didn’t move her feet to follow. “What is the difference?” She asked. She asked you. You were caught at a pause. “I would think Mr. Trevor finds Madame Penny’s

more suitable for a...for you.” You awkwardly shoved your hands into the pockets of your skirt. You’d splurged on this suit. Or so you thought.

“Steve! Steve, wait, let's go to Pa-Papaya’s?” Diana asked you.

“Just Paya’s,” you giggle.

“Steve,” Diana continued, “I think Paya’s will do just fine.”

Mr. Trevor sighed heavily, as if he had been expecting something like that to happen. “Fine. Lead the way.”

Diana held a hand out. You looked at it fearfully. “We are walking together, so should we hold hands?” She asked. She went to wrap her hand in yours. Steve scrambled for Diana’s arm, pushing it down to her side. “No, no, no, don’t hold hands. When I said people hold hands when they’re together, I meant together as in married.”

Diana’s mouth rounded out as she said, “Oh!” She sent you an apologetic smile, to which you promptly looked away from. Looking her in the eye made you nauseous, more than you’ve ever felt before.

Away you were whisked to Paya’s. It’s a good center, with plenty of fashionable dresses. Admittedly it isn’t nearly as expensive as Mr. Trevor probably would have preferred. But it’s fashionable, affordable, even for you. It’s a large shop with dim lights behind brassy lamps and lanterns.

Diana looked around, her eyebrows raised practically to hairline. She approached a mannequin clad with a silky pink corset. She touched the material and frowned. “Is this what passes for armor in your country?” She asked.

You couldn’t quite imagine what she meant by armor.

“No, no,” Etta explained, “that’s what keeps our tummies in.”

Diana sent a sharp glance to Etta. “Why must you keep them in?” She demanded.

Etta repressed a few other comments. She settled with, “Only a woman with no tummy would ask such a question.”

“Why don’t we look around?” You suggest as Diana’s eyes wander for more things to poke at. You figure she’s never visited a London shop before. Where could she be from that has such different traditions?

“How about this one?” Etta suggested as she found a brown suit with a thick fur wrap. “Stylish, professional, but still good to wear for a night on the town!” Etta seemed thrilled with her sales pitch. You weren’t impressed. If Diana was to wear something, she should wear something more flattering. Of course Diana could wear a sheet of dirty canvas and still look stunning.

Diana tucked her hand into yours, catching your attention immediately. You looked to her, finding that her eyes were already fixated on you. “What do you think of this one?” She asked. She didn’t seem sure of her own choice. Your legs felt numb as Diana’s fingers tickled the top of your hand.

You quickly pulled away from her. “I think something like this would be better,” you suggested, turning to the first suit you could find. It was black, with a long skirt and a frilly kind of blouse.

Diana still seemed uncertain. Mr. Trevor begged her to at least give it a shot. Diana sighed. “I suppose I can,” she declared. She began to remove her coat. You got a longer glimpse at what was underneath it.

Etta darted like lightning to stop her. Once again Diana was gasping with confusion as Etta tied her coat shut tightly. “Come with me, dear,” Etta said, blotting the sweat off her forehead with her handkerchief. “We’ll find you a dressing room.”

Diana was ushered off with Etta, leaving you to recollect your thoughts. You stopped Mr. Trevor from following.

“Might I have a word, sir?” You softly asked.

“Of course.” He continued to look quite ill.  

“It’s just that I did see what she was wearing, sir,” you began. You’d seen such similar armor in your stolen books. “Is she…?”

Mr. Trevor suddenly gripped you by the shoulders. He looked absolutely relieved. “So you know about them?! And the magic island? I don’t think I can handle it on my own, Y/n.”

You blinked a few times. “Did you say magic island?” You finally asked. “No, I meant is she Greek?”

Mr. Trevor recoiled, falling into a fit of coughs. “Absolutely, yes,” he said. “I’ll be...I need some water.”

You wonder what in the hell happened to Mr. Trevor for him to lose his usual composure. He’s been known to always have a witty remark for something, but today he’s entirely off his usual tempo.

You searched for Etta. She is speaking with the oncall saleswoman, who was in the process of explaining the most boring details of Diana’s selected suit. “Etta, Mr. Trevor bid me go ask you if you could pick out a few more outfits for Miss Diana to try.”

“Of course!” Etta said. “Stay and wait with her, please?”

“Done,” you promise.

Etta and the saleswoman took off to find more dresses and blazers for Diana. You looked around before darting back to the dressing rooms. “Diana?” You called.

A door opened promptly. “Hello.”

“H-hi,” you stuttered out.

Facing her was incredibly difficult. Her eyes literally seemed to sparkle with pure joy. Among that, her hair falls over her shoulders in loose, brown curls. Her coat is off, strewn behind her over a chaise. You can see her arrangement of weapons on the floor. Her armor, red and gold, has yet to be removed.

“I wanted to-to speak with you. About you.”

Diana moved aside for you to come in. You felt a bit uncomfortable. It’s not really wrong for you to be here. Any other woman wouldn’t mind helping Diana dress, and afterall, richer women have handmaids specifically for dressing them and even to bathe them. Diana may be a stranger but she’s warm and kind; she’s different.

She didn’t seem to bashful about her variety of weaponry. You’re mostly in awe.

“I’ve never known any female warrior before,” you muttered as you gave the sword a final glance. The hilt had strong patterns carved over it, and the blade looked razor sharp. A stab with that sword would feel completely painless at first, while the blade sliced through you like a ribbon.

“I am an Amazon,” Diana explained.

“Pardon me?” You asked.

“Warriors put upon the world by the gods. We are...well, a bridge to a better world. The guardians of mankind and all that is good.”

Oh, well okay. You weren’t exactly sure how to respond to that, considering it’s a bit crazy.

“You don’t believe me,” Diana says. “I cannot say I don’t understand. We have lived in secret for most of history.” She shrugged in her plates of metal. “I feared the world was under a bigger threat than it ever has been. That is why I left my people to join Steve Trevor.”

You nod. “Alright, I guess. While I’m hesitant to believe all of your story, I trust Mr. Trevor’s judgement.”

Diana smiled at that. “That is all I need.”

She gestured to the loose garments of purple you’d chosen for her before. “I hate to trouble you more than I already have. But I cannot understand how this is supposed to work.” She referred to the corset which ties up underneath every layer. “Oh, well generally someone can do it for you, but there are some that tie up in the front. Should I choose one of those for you?”

“No, that’s alright. I have you to help me.” Diana started to remove the plates of armor, starting with her thigh pieces. She organized her things very sternly, as if she were keeping a strict inventory log in her mind. For all you know she is.

She wrapped her arms over her chest to keep some modesty, but even so, even as you chant to yourself not to look, you felt your mouth become bone dry. You grabbed the corset and waved for Diana to turn around. She molds the front of the corset to her chest, using one arm to keep it in place while she used her left hand to move her hair. Your fingers dragged over her skin. She is so golden, so soft. The smell of soap and seafoam lingers.

You could easily dip your head down and kiss her neck.

You force the thoughts from your head. Trembling, you lace up the corset, hardly able to maximize your strength as you pull as tight as you can. Your limbs feel like phantoms. They move on their own while you bite back tears.

When you finished, you blotted your tears away with the inside of your wrist. “I’ll be leaving, now,” you tell her. “Good luck.”

Fleeing the room while Diana calls after you was the only way to save yourself. The need for Diana built up strong in your belly, as did the cloud of heartache in your chest. Your breath became restricted by the pain. You brushed past Etta on the way out of the store, briefly explaining you needed to leave and to send your apologies to Mr. Trevor.

What worries you most isn’t Mr. Trevor and Diana’s alarmingly fictional stories, or even Diana’s weaponry she keeps strapped to her body; it was the fact you had let Diana get to you. She messed with your brain without even knowing it, and now you couldn’t help but think how horrible your life is.

You briskly walked home. You fumble with your keys at the door, scraping the sides of the lock with the blade. Throwing yourself inside is the only thing that relieves you. This little house by the steel mills is your palace of your true nature. While you shiver at night and hear things creak, you can at least be yourself.

Typically you would calm yourself with a nap or a bath, but your nerves are far too shot.

You journeyed straight to your bedroom and kicked off your heels. Settling over the squeaky mattress with your lip caught in your teeth, you struggle to steady your hands enough so you can unbutton the top of your coat.

You lay back and slide your hand down your belly, poking through the band of your skirt. And you imagine…

You imagine yourself in that dressing room, your hands sliding down Diana’s smooth back.

You pressed the smallest of kisses atop her bare shoulder. The little hairs on her neck rise, her breath caught. She turns on her heels to face you, practically forehead to forehead.

She drops the corset to the floor, kicking it away without a care in then world. Her hand finds yours, and she holds it one more time, tickling your skin with the lad of her thumb. With a gentle smile, Diana raises your hand to hold one soft breast.

You palm and squeeze at her, feeling completely in awe of her beauty. Diana dragged you down to kneel with her on the floor. In the fantasy you lay not in a dressing room, but on a soft quilt. Where you are doesn’t matter; it’s Diana. Diana pushes you to your back, undoing the clips in your hair and massaging your scalp of the pain your tight bun left behind. She drags her fingers through your hair, then down your chest. She bows her head down, mouth catching your hard left nipple. Your right breast is tended to with her hand, while your left earns the attention of hee teeth, tongue, and lips. She leaves tender bruises over your chest, purring her affections and compliments into you.

Soon she trails her mouth down. Her long, dark hair drags over your stomach. Diana places herself just between your thighs, resting her weight onto one of her elbows.

With two fingers she spreads you apart to see your dripping cunt clenching with suspense. Diana presses a kiss to your hipbones. With a finger dipping inside of you, she catches arousal and swirls it around your hole, preparing to widen you out. Two of her fingers creep inside of you, curling up and pressing the top of your cunt’s walls, making you lurch your hips up against her face.

With a muscled arm she pushes your hips down, a hand digging into you to keep you in place as her lips pucker over your aching clit.

The bead pulsed with excitement as Diana pressed a gentle kiss against it. Her tongue poked out to swirl a small circle over your clitoris. You whined, wiggling your hips desperately to feel more of Diana.

Her fingers pumped in and out, scissoring apart and always tickling that magic spot deep inside of you.

Her tongue swirled faster and wider, occasionally taking breaks to ease the muscle, but her attention on you never failed.

Her cherry red lips sucked on your clit. She sang a sweet song into your cunt, the vibrations making your thighs tremble.

She made you cum hard over her fingers, which she stuck within her mouth to clean them.

As you wind down, she places her own two fingers at her own entrance, already slick with arousal. She lubricates her own clit, rubbing the bead for a few moments while gasping your name like a prayer. She roughly grabbed at your legs, spreading them apart so she could position herself at your cunt. She lowered carefully onto you, her warm pussy sliding against yours.

She forced one of your legs over her shoulder as she started to wiggle her hips. She murmured your name, casting her head back and closing her eyes. The movement was rhythmic and precise, your clit rubbing against hers sweetly. Tears bubbled in your eyes, blurring the vision of Diana’s face as she fucked you into the floor, her hips bucking faster, skin and cum mixing and slapping loudly.

Lewd moans fell out of your mouth as you cried out to Diana, begging her for more, to which she obliged. She thrusted faster, kissing the side of your leg that now trembled violently over her shoulder.

You whimpered when she sang your name, a warm smile still quirked on her lips.

You wanted to sink into the fuzzy blanket and stay there forever, being fucked blissfully by Diana’s hot, soaking cunt.

The intense orgasm brought you to the brink of sobs as Diana pushed your hips hard into the floor. “Fuck, yes,” you shout. You beg for it harder and Diana listens, giving you everything you could ever want.

In your fantasy you would cum twice. You would reciprocate the pleasure, flipping Diana over and crawling between her thighs. Her hand would weave in your loose hair, pushing your face deeper into her hips. Your tongue would dip into her entrance, lapping up her cum like it was honey. You would send wide stripes up and down her before using one finger inside of her—then two, then the third, as gently as you could. Her hips would be grinding against your face, her cum dribbling down your chin. She would whimper like she never has before, moaning your name mercilessly, because it doesn’t matter who heard.

Your fantasy ends.

Your fingers are soaked with cum and you move off your bed to wash your hands. You use a warm, damp cloth to clean the mess between your thighs. A part of you feels satisfied, but only the primal part. The rest of you feels sad. Lonely. You crawl into bed, still dressed in your new red suit. You wonder if Diana thinks you to be totally insane, considering how you had run away so abruptly. You worry that she knows, somehow, your secret. You want to know what she would think. What would she say if you ran to her, now, and confessed you wanted nothing more than to kiss her and be held by her muscley, tanned arms.

Despite it being the dead middle of the day, you stay in your bed for hours. Your telephone rings a few times, but you don’t bother. It could easily be your office calling to fire you.

Something within you no longer cares. Let them.

Leave this place, maybe, and find that magic island which Mr. Trevor had spoken of. It would be a land of freedom; freedom to study what you want, to kiss who you want—to sleep in past eight in the morning and not worry about the secretariat duties of providing breakfast.

If Diana is an “Amazon” then you want to be one too. For besides her blatant beauty, there was something about Diana that was incredible. Her smile, her eyes—she glistened with confidence. She knows who she is.

You know who she is, too.

She’s the love of your life, but of a life you will never get to have.

[mlqcconfessions]

Hi I absolutely love your headcanons. I have epilepsy and these can take many forms for me (full on seizures, absence seizures (looks like I've zoned out) and muscle spasms where I drop things and break them (I will cry cause I feel like my body is betraying me). I have anxiety and although I'm 4 years seizure free I always have a fear of 'what if today is the day' and having to remember to take my meds everyday. Can I have a HC of the boys taking care of MC with epilepsy and how they help her.

Although I’m not too familiar with the technical side of epilepsy, I did have a close high school friend who would occasionally get seizures during classes. I did a little research on my own time! Hope you enjoy it!

MLQC Headcanon - The closest one to you

Victor

You weren’t afraid to tell him about you having epilepsy (he didn’t want you to hide anything from him, anyways)

He wants you to describe everything to him (if you feel any pain, what medications you take, what he could do to help, etc)

He hires a professional to be your temporary carer

He didn’t like the fact that he wasn’t the one closest to you anymore

But with the way he is now, he won’t be that helpful to you

And he KNOWS that (that’s what makes it so frustrating)

He spends his free time between work to study up on epilepsy (and how to be a carer)

You’re worried that he’s dedicating so much of his precious time (and you know just how Victor feels about time)

“Have you forgotten who I am?” (he’s so cheeky sometimes)

He finishes clearing documents at a demonic speed (Goldman reiterates, I TOLD you he was an alien)

In the meantime, he does the simple tasks (ones that don’t require extensive knowledge)

He is ON YOU when you’re taking medications (Time is literally of the essence, MC)

He has a chart by his office desk with your details (so he knows what time, how many, how often you need to take the pills)

Because he can’t always be with you, he orders the professional carer to be by your side at all times (but makes him maintain a private distance that won’t make the CEO husband angry)

You haven’t had seizures for quite a while, but it’s always on the back of your mind

Victor knows that you’re worried about this (it makes him upset that there’s nothing he can do about it)

Although he can’t prevent future seizure from happening, he does his best to reassure you that he WILL be by your side to take care of you

“I don’t believe you, Victor” (this is your chance to make him BEG)

He doesn’t say anything for while, but picks up his phone to call someone

You can faintly hear the voice on the other side of the line

“Goldman, gather up all the employees in the building and have them meet at the main lobby” (....sorry sir, but can I ask just why...?)

“Victor, what are you—”

“Well, my wife here doesn’t believe me when I say I’m going to be by her side always” (....and....you want me to gather everyone because.....)

“Because if I actively proclaim my love to her in front of a crowd, she’ll trust my words” (he’s looking at you, smirking)

“Victor, you wouldn’t!”

“Try me”

The line hangs up (Goldman doesn’t get paid enough for this)

Kiro

He’s heard of it, but knows NOTHING about it (except a little about the seizures)

He’s scared when you talk about your past experiences

“And are you okay now?” (he has these puppy dog eyes)

“Well, I haven’t had these seizures for quite some time now” (omg you just want to hug him and kiss him all over)

Savin notices Kiro reading a lot more during schedules

Wait. Kiro. READING????? 

Yes.

Sunshine boy is trying so hard to understand what epilepsy is

So he bookmarked all these articles online to read on his spare time

But God help him, he doesn’t comprehend what these words mean

He figured it was easier to just talk to a professional about it

Later in the week, he wants you to come over to his house on his day off

When you go inside, his entire house has been fortified

No more sharp edges, no more hard floors, security alarms set in every room?

“Ta-dah!” (Kiro proudly shows off his new home)

“Kiro...what....what’s all this for?”

“I think your apartment is too dangerous for you to stay by yourself” (he ushers you to sit down)

“It would be fine if I can regularly go to your house, but Savin said that’s too risky” (and risky it WAS, with all the fans following his every move)

“So I decided the best option was to bring you to MY home!”

Although it’s a little sudden, you can tell that he’s genuinely worried for you

“Haha...thank you, Kiro” (you get up to hug him)

“You’re welcome, MC” (he squeezes you even tighter)

“You’re free to use this house as you please. You can even change the interior here!” (No, that’s okay Kiro)

“When I can’t stay here during work, I’ll send my stylists over to check up on you” (he smooths your hair down)

“But don’t get too along with them! I’m going to get jealous!” (he puffs his cheeks out what the heck, that’s adorable)

You reach out to kiss his nose

“Don’t worry, you’re the only one I can get this intimate with”

He immediately picks you up, and you’re dangling over his shoulders

“Well, I don’t think that’s intimate enough” (sunshine? More like sun-KISSED)

Lucien

If there’s anyone more familiar with how epilepsy works, it’s Dr. Lu Lu

He knows more than you?

He doesn’t think it’s necessary to hire a professional carer (he’s the best carer, wdym)

He’s prepared to the fullest 

You tell him that it’s been a while since your last seizure

“We can never be too sure, MC”

Although you haven’t moved into the same house yet, he frequently drops by your apartment (he doesn’t leave until the next day)

During lectures he always looks back at you (to make sure you’re doing fine)

AFTER lectures he makes sure your........physical form is in top condition (SFW if you know what I mean)

He worries that you’re overwhelmed with work sometimes

Offers to lessen your load by helping you edit videos

He’s actually good at making videos? (Youtuber in the making?)

You sometimes ask him to brew tea for you (it helps you relax)

He has a designated cup in his house just for you (when you’re not there, he places it in the display case)

You’re not actually interested in drinking tea

You just like how elegant he looks when he’s brewing

The soft smell of chamomile and lavender in his room is so calming

You fall asleep on his couch while he’s gathering some materials in another room

He’s slightly startled when he doesn’t hear your voice anymore (he quickly sets his papers down and crouches next to you)

Your cute snores make him laugh (he records it for future reference)

When you wake up, you’re back in your bed

“Lucien?”

He peers inside the door, pushes up his GLASSES, (yes I am a Glasses Lucien freak) and smiles at you

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t plan on dozing off like that”

“No worries, I was able to keep myself entertained”

“Oh? What were you looking at?” (you step out to the living room, finding a stack of albums on the table)

???

“You were adorable in this zebra onesie” (LUCIEN PLEASE)

Gavin

He’s dealt with plenty of rogue evolvers during his missions

Most of them had seizures while their evols were going out of control

How different could it be? (Birdcop has never been more wrong in his life)

He’s so taken back when you explain epilepsy to him

The way you describe it makes it sound so terrifying?

He listens inventively to the first aid procedures

He follows through pretty smoothly, actually (damn right, he’s Agent B-7)

You notice that he’s a LOT more attentive towards you

He was always like that before, but it’s to a greater extent now

If you’re quiet for a minute, he starts to panic

“It’s okay, Gavin! I’m okay” (you have to stop him from busting down the bathroom door)

He doesn’t like it when he has to leave you to go on missions (especially ones where he doesn’t know when he’ll get back)

He assigns Minor and/or Eli as your bodyguard (for all locations EXCEPT your apartment)

Anna is responsible for watching over you when you’re home

He calls/texts you so often (it’s like he never left)

His mind is elsewhere during work (but he never fails the missions, because he’s AGENT BIRDCOP-7)

Something you don’t know is that Eli and Minor are required to send photos of you once in a while (something about him being unable to trust their words)

WORST. PEOPLE. TO. ASSIGN. THIS. TO.

Eli takes photos with himself in it (and the focus is not even on you)

Minor always takes them while you’re moving (he only manages to capture your afterimage)

Anna to the rescue, honestly (that’s an entire photoshoot)

The first thing he does after returning is checking to make sure you’re okay (he hugs you after his checkup is done)

“........Gavin, what are these gashes on your arm?”

“....so......what do you want for dinner tonight?”

F

I don’t know why, but I always make Lucien’s headcanons somewhat nsfw

I can’t help it, he just does that to me

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-One

Words: 3.6K

Warning(s): explicit language, sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

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I pour dog food into Whisky's bowl, hearing his little paws smack against the floor as he rushes into the kitchen, his collar rattling and his excited panting greeting me when I feel his tongue licking at my arm.

"Good morning." I say to him, patting at his head before he starts eating. 

Once he's finished I'm picking him up as  Nikki comes in, scratching another thing off his to-do list. 

When he steps by me I grab at his hand to stop him and he shakes his head. 

"Nah, I don't need dog hair on me, babe." He grins, dodging me and I follow him. 

"But, daddy, look at this cute little face." I hold the puppy out to him, giving my best puppy dog eyes and Nikki raises a brow. 

"Whisky, tell mommy she can't call me 'daddy' because it'll make me wanna do stuff to her that I don't have time to do right now." He warns, grabbing his packed suit case. 

"We're about to leave for a couple months, Nikki, and he'll be at obedience school. At least hold him for a minute so he won't forget we love him." I suggest and Nikki blinks at me. "I'll give you a blowjob on the way to the airport." I add. 

"Aww, boy, am I gonna miss you!" He takes the happy little Whisky from me and holds him, kissing at his head and calling him a "good boy." "Viv, he's gonna be the best lookin' little stud muffin in that place." He tells me. 

"Speaking of which, maybe they'll figure out a way to combat the humping." I say and Nikki looks at me.

"We're not getting him fixed."

"Are we going to breed him or something?" 

"No, I just don't wanna take his balls, Viv. He's a man's man. He's a good boy. Not a good 'kinda/sorta' boy." 

"He's gonna be more prone to hump anything and everything, and pee on everything more than normal and it'll be a struggle to take him anywhere with other dogs because he'll wanna misbehave."

"Exactly, it'll be like me as a dog." He explains with a smile. "Just look at him, babe. He wants to be just like daddy." 

"Okay, well, if he isn't fixed as soon as he can be, daddy isn't allowed to even breathe the same air as mommy until he gets neutered." I take Whisky back and Nikki cuts his eyes at me. 

"You use your pussy as a like a 'get out of jail free' card anytime you want something and it's annoying." He tells me and I raise my brows. 

"If it's so annoying, why haven't you just put your foot down already?" I ask him, putting Whisky back down on the floor. 

"Because I like the fear of never getting between your legs again. It's thrilling." He jokes and I roll my eyes. 

"Shut up and pack." I chuckle, nudge at him. 

"I'm packed." He states. 

"Four shirts, two pairs of pants, and a Bowie record, isn't 'packed', Nikki." 

"It is when you have money to buy everything else when you get to your destination." He states. 

I ignore him and grab my suit case, about to pack my own stuff. 

When I come back from my closet, two of my bikinis I only wear at home are already laying in the bottom of my suitcase and I look at Nikki, picking the neon pink and bright purple bathing suits up. 

"I already told you earlier, I'm not bringing these, Nikki." I tell him. 

"Why not?"

"The top barely covers my nipples and my boobs spill out, and the bottoms aren't much better."

"But I bought those for you." He reminds me.

"And I like wearing them here, when nobody else is around." 

"At least pack them just in case." 

"Nikki--"

"--Don't argue, Viv. Trust me, you're gonna want them." He says. 

"Fine." I give in, packing them, and my more modest bikinis, before packing clothes and essentials. 

When I come back with pads and tampons, there's articles of lingerie I've never seen before.

"Nikki." I look at him, holding up a scarlett red number with ribbons that criss-cross down the back and tie in a bow where the base of my spine should go. "Are you up to something?" 

"What?" 

"What are you planning?" I ask him and he scrunches his face up. 

"Nothing, baby, I just thought you'd look pretty in that while I'm knocking your hips lose." He shrugs casually. 

"You hate me wearing lingerie while we're fooling around because it interferes with your ability to see everything." I point out.

"Just accept it. And pack it. Because you'll want it." He mumbles. 

"I know you're up to something, Sixx." I accuse him and he shakes his head. 

"No, I'm not up to anything." He denies.

"Skimpy swimsuits, expensive lingerie, sketchy phone calls with Fred...you're up to something."

"Nope. I'm just looking forward to all the time we're gonna spend together on this tour, is all." He shrugs. 

"Mhmm." I sarcastically let out, doubtfully. 

"I mean, if you wanna spend our anniversary--which lands on our day off--with the guys, our opening band, and screaming fans then that's cool, too, I guess." He shrugs. 

"Oh, shit, we have our anniversary this month?"

I might have remembered our anniversary had I been able to wear my wedding ring but it'd gone missing at that point, and I had no clue where it was. 

And neither did Nikki, honestly. 

"I'm not even gonna say anything about you forgetting our anniversary because I've secretly forgotten our anniversary and your birthday every year until someone reminded me a couple weeks in advance, so..." He smiles innocently and I raise a brow. 

Whisky's picked up a couple hours later and Nikki and I are off to the airport without a moment to waste the second our driver pulls up. 

And then the clothes come off.

We don't even notice we're at the airport until the door is flying open to reveal Fred. 

"Get dressed and c'mon, guys, we're running late." He urges as Nikki marks up my neck with his teeth, causing me to laugh at Fred's face turning red in aggravation.

He slams the door shut and I hear them open the trunk to grab our bags and I hum out, smiling when Nikki presses his lips to mine. 

"We gotta go." I breathe out, moving off of him and he groans. "We can do plenty of this in the hotel." I motion between us, buckling my bra, and he smirks. 

"...And on the plane, and on the bus on the way to the show, and backstage, and during Tommy's drum solo, and after the show." He says slyly, pressing a trail of kisses up my arm to my shoulder. 

"Exactly, so, get dressed." I mumble against his lips when he kisses me again. 

Once we're done, we get out of the car and board the plane. 

The stewardesses are gorgeous blondes, which doesn't surprise me, because if Vince has any say in what their female help looks like, they're going to be blonde. 

"Guys, we need a picture!" Tansy insists. 

"Tansy--"

"--I want one." She interrupts Fred, her blue eyes silently begging, and he gives in. 

Morbid reality was that Tansy didn't expect to live much longer, and she wanted to take as many pictures as possible for us to remember her by.

No one really expected Nikki to live much longer, either, of course they never told me that until it was obvious he was crashing.

Once we get the picture taken and take off, it only takes ten minutes before Tommy and Nikki are snorting zombie dust like it's pixie stick powder, and demanding alcohol. 

"You guys need to stay as sober as possible for the show!" Doc argues when Nikki calls him an "asshole" for not giving him a whole bottle of whiskey. 

"We'll be fine like we always are, man, just fucking--"

"--Nikki, please, sit down." I gently tug at his arm when he stands as if he's about to march to Doc and start throwing punches. 

He just glares down at me. 

"Please, baby." I ask him, really, really not wanting to deal with a messed up Nikki Sixx before their show even begins. 

He just stares at Doc before plopping back down beside me, lingering in and out of focus. 

As if it can't get any worse, when we land, there's a slew of groupies waiting in the airport. 

Which we only realize this when we're in their sight and they start in out of nowhere. 

And, of course, ignoring Fred's orders--made from the motivation to keep the guys protected and out of trouble, which is why they hired him--Tommy and Vince gladly accept every single woman throwing herself at them, from the comfort of the bathroom. 

The "Girls, Girls, Girls" tour was nicknamed the "Airport Blowjob Tour" because at every airport we came to, and I mean literally every airport, groupies were like Hornets swarming the place with all the motivation in the world to simply blow the band. 

A few of them would make multiple trips to multiple airports, following the guys wherever city they flew to. 

I admired their passion. 

Some of them were more dedicated to trying to blow my husband than I was. 

Which said a lot because I was pretty dedicated. 

"It's hot as satan's balls out here." Nikki groans when we step off the tour bus after leaving the airport. 

"We're in the middle of Arizona, babe." I remind him. 

He just looks at me from behind his sunglasses. 

"What?" I ask as we head to the hotel's building. 

"Nothing." He shakes his head, opening the door to the lobby, letting me walk in first. 

Doc gets everyone checked in, before I'm getting a shower and getting ready for tonight while Nikki and Tommy dick around. 

By the time we all meet at bus to head to the venue, Fred's got the backstage IDs ready for the road crew and Tansy and I. 

"Here." Fred puts the lanyard over my head with my picture on it, under it reading "Vivian, 6½".

"Thank you." I tell him, climbing in to see Nikki already sitting down, bottle of Jack in his hand as he hands Tommy a lighter for his cigarette.

I'm slightly startled, feeling Vince suddenly throw his arm around me, causing me to stop in my tracks.

"I want a drink. I'm gonna hide in the bathroom and you're gonna sneak it to me." He tells me in my ear and I look at him.

Before I can say, "hell no", I can tell he's desperate. 

"Please, Viv. My nerves are eating me alive right now and I can't drink anything without them jumping on me about it." He nods to Nikki and Tommy who aren't paying attention in the slightest. 

"Vince--"

"C'mon, move it." Doc nudges at Vince's back to get us to hurry up and sit down so he can get by. 

"Fine, gimme a couple minutes." I mumble to Vince before walking to Nikki, sitting down beside him. 

Vince goes to the bathroom, and Emi and Donna sit in front of me and Nikki as Mick sits with Tommy.

Within a few minutes, I'm actively attempting to slyly sneak Nikki's bottle of Jack back to the bathroom after Nikki abandons it to comment on this month's issue of Hustler Magazine with Tommy. 

I tuck the bottle into my purse, well...the best I can, at least. 

"Baby, can you let me out so I can go use the bathroom." I sweetly ask Nikki, and he doesn't even look at me as he responds: "Sure, babe" and stands up, pointing at a girl in the magazine and going "there's no way she's actually able to do that, that's gotta be edited", and I roll my eyes. I wish he wouldn't look at magazines like that, but it's a lost cause if I try to ask him not to, so I just ignore it the best I can and try to tell myself he doesn't look at them because I'm not good enough or something. 

He just looks at them because guys just like looking at naked girls in explicit positions. 

By the time I get to the bathroom, Vince is snatching the bottle from me as I lock the door behind me, crossing my arms in the small bathroom as he takes a long drink of it. 

"You're welcome." I state to him, and he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. 

"Did I thank you?" He smartly asks and I raise my brows. 

"Umm, you should. I'm risking getting an earful from Nikki if he finds out I'm giving his singer--who's on a court mandated sobriety streak--liquor." I blink at him and he rolls his eyes. 

"Oh, please, if he or Tommy were in my shoes they would've put sobriety aside two weeks after it was in place and never would have looked back." He scoffs out. 

I don't argue because it's true. 

"Be nice." Is all I say and he looks at me pointedly. 

"C'mon, Viv, you know it's true. And if it were one of them that got in that wreck with Razzle, and they got caught drinking afterward, nobody would blink an eye because they're Nikki and Tommy."

"Vince, that's not true." I try to tell him.

"Whatever Nikki says, goes. Whatever Nikki wants, he gets. He's the one that put the band together which means his say is the final say, and same with Tommy because he's close with Nikki and Nikki backs him up." 

I can't say anything. 

"And you're not even arguing because you know as well as everyone else that it's true. It's Nikki and Tommy and nobody else fucking matters. Certainly not the washed up singer that nearly killed their careers." 

He hands me the bottle back and I rub my lips together. 

"Thanks." He mumbles before sliding past me to open the door and leave. 

I put the lid back on the bottle and hide it back in my purse before I go back to Nikki and put the bottle back, undetected, my mind reeling over what Vince said. 

It was clear there was a disconnect between Nikki, Tommy, and Vince after Razzle died, and it just got worse and worse as the years went by.

Tommy and Nikki, notorious "Terror Twins" got into more shit than anyone else around us, combined. 

The deepest shit Vince got into was that wreck, and after that he quit a majority of his bullshit on making life for everyone around him, difficult by acting up, and just started moving in silence. 

He'd have his petty moments, but for the most part, he would lay low and leave Tommy and Nikki to raise hell and embarrass the band and their team. 

I could tell he was bothered by the fact that he made a mistake that Nikki or Tommy had a higher chance of making at the time, and because of that, he was kicked out of their little club. 

And the fact that Tommy and Nikki got away with absolutely everything, got to him the most. 

I admit, Vince should have served more time for the Razzle tragedy, but he still had to live knowing Hanoi Rocks was no more, knowing he let fans down, knowing he gutted Razzle's friends, family, band and fans, and knowing--although accidental--he was partly to blame for one of his friends' deaths. 

But Nikki and Tommy didn't give a fuck what they did, who they did it to, why they did it, how they did it, or whether they meant to do it or not. 

And they didn't care because they would always get away with it. 

Always. 

Vince was tempted to tell me about Vanity, but decided not to because he didn't want to hear shit from Nikki, but also because he'd rather me find out from a place of genuine concern. 

Not just him blurting it to me in order to spite Nikki and finally make sure there was something he didn't get away with doing. 

My lips pull into a wide grin as I cover my mouth before a loud shriek can fall past my lips and alert everyone outside the bathroom of the venue, what's going on in here. 

Nikki continues to slide his hot, warm tongue against my clit as I grind in rhythm with his mouth. 

Just as I'm about to come, someone's banging on the door. 

"C'mon, guys!" It's Fred. "Nikki, you're on in, like, two minutes!"

"Got it!" I reply for him, being that his mouth is busy, and Nikki just grins up at me, causing my third orgasm to begin to build. 

"Nikki, dude, we gotta go!" Tommy calls from the other side of the door. 

Just as I'm coming, the door is unlocked with Fred's key, and I'm too shell shocked to try to get away from Nikki. 

We both just look at Doc, Fred, and Rich Fischer, who are nearly fuming. 

"Fred, what the fuck is wrong?" Nikki snaps as I pull my dress back down, my face burning bright red as I try to fix my hair and my lipstick, and ignore my cum running down my legs. 

"You're about to be late for your first show of this tour over some pussy, that's what the fuck is wrong. Get out there." Doc snaps at him. 

"Wait." I say, taking my crucifix off, handing it to him. 

He takes it with a sly little grin, looking at me before clasping it around his neck for good luck on the first show. 

"Thanks, Viv." He tells me, kissing my cheek before he heads to stage. 

I follow after him, but Doc grabs at my arm, gently, to stop me. 

"What?" I ask him, still embarrassed from earlier. 

"You're not going to be too big of a distraction, are you?" He asks me and I raise my brows. 

"Excuse me?"

"Anytime he's late, Vivian, it's either linked to you or heroin, and he's off smack so he's gonna be onto you more." He explains. 

"We've been married for four years, Doc, and I've never been a 'distraction'. What the hell are you talking about?" I ask. 

He just lets out a breath. 

"Just don't let this happen again." He tells me and I exhale, rolling my jaw. 

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again." I assure him, feeling like I've just been scolded by my freaking mother.

"Good." 

Did I mention that Mötley was in their prime and Doc was considerably paranoid of someone throwing a wrench in the machine that was Mötley Crüe? 

Once the show is finished, the guys are given masks for hyperventilation, their sweaty, liquor purging bodies slumped.

After they calm down, it starts. 

"Alright, where we going?" Tommy asks Nikki, punching lightly at his shoulder as Vince is about to get a shower to get the sweat off of him. 

"Strip club, probably." Nikki pants out, drinking a bottle of water in 20 seconds, handing it to me when he's finished. "What about you, Mick, you coming this time?" Nikki asks him and Mick shrugs. 

"Doesn't really matter to me." He states.

"Guys, you want food?" Fred offers, sticking his head in the dressing room. 

"Yes." We all say and he chuckles. 

"Alright, we're on it." He assures us.

"You're not getting a shower?" I ask Nikki and he shakes his head. 

"Nope." He replies and I wrinkle my nose. 

"As long as you shower before you get in the bed with me." I say to him and he smirks. 

"There's two beds in the room." He reminds me. 

I blink at him, blankly. 

"Don't even play like that." I tell him and he chuckles. 

"Don't be a baby, Sixx." He says as he nudges at me and I exaggeratingly move away from him. 

"No, stop." I try to hide my smile as he just gets closer to me again, so I move some more, only causing him to follow. "Nikki, chill out." I say, seeing the look in his eyes: he's up to no good. "Nikki, don't!" 

He's suddenly tugging me into his lap, his sweaty, soaked clothing pressing to my back, causing me to squeal as he tickles at my sides, and I scream out in laughter as I get that nostalgic feeling I felt when I realized I first loved him, and would rather die than go without being with him forever. 

We weren't arguing, we weren't trying to hurt each other, we were getting closer and closer to how we were when we first got married. 

There was no heroin, there was no blatant meanness...we were just starting to learn to be in love with each other again.

I, completely overlooking blatant signs and red flags, figured, "we made it through his heroin addiction, we're making it through fame and public scrutiny, we're getting stronger and stronger and back to normal...mom was wrong, and we can handle anything."

And that was the problem: I felt too fucking secure. 

Hearing and knowing about all these rockstars cheating on their significant others, and I felt prideful that Nikki might've been an asshole, but he'd never do such a thing to me. 

I was beginning to have an arrogance about it.

And that's the thing about us when we get arrogant: God, or the universe, or Karma--whatever we believe--humbles us. 

And I thought all of them had gotten together and made a plan to humble me to absolute hell.