#like killing babies’ like at what point did I say that??

[martinsace]

SHE A GOOD GIRL, FOR ME SHE A…

‣‣‣ pairing: uconn paige bueckers x fem! journalist oc

‣‣‣ warnings: cheating (on oc’s lame bf), sexual content with little plot, cursing and sexual language, religious guilt, minors dni

‣‣‣ summary: in front of cameras and her very, very straight boyfriend, lacey is the perfect girl next door type. but when she’s alone with paige? that’s a different story.

‣‣‣ author speaks: this is my first time writing smut eek i hope it lives up to your hopes and dreams

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“paige, how does it feel to have beat the number one team in the nation?” i ask the blonde in front of me.

paige bueckers’ eyes are piercing into me with an intensity that makes me knees weak, a coy smile playing at her lips. she does those stupid fucking rizz hands and i swear i feel my heart drop down to my ass.

“it feels great. i definitely had some extra motivation today, so i still feel pretty fired up.” she smiles innocently, pretending what she just said has absolutely nothing to do with the person who was holding the microphone to her face in front of a camera projecting to the gamecast. this bitch.

i fight back every urge in my body trying to get me to smile and keep a straight face. “that’s awesome, should we be expecting more of this energy in the future?” loaded question, but that’s my job. screw this, with the way she’s looking at me i wish i could take off this media badge now.

she shrugged her shoulders. “hopefully.” oh my god.

“that’s all we have time for, thanks so much paige.”

she jogs away, not before subtly winking. i swear to god im going to kill her. after i fuck her.

paige had a great game, leading the game in both points in assists and filling out the stat sheet all around. not only did they beat south carolina, but she got a career high with 36 points.

needless to say, she was motivated.

3 hours before the game

“fuck, paige, don’t fucking stop-”

lacey cut herself off with a moan as her acrylics dug into paige’s shoulders. she rocked her hips feverishly against the blondes fingers, grinding her hips down into her lap over and over again. paige curled into her, watching the brunette borderline ride her fingers with an open mouthed smile as her tits bounced in paige’s face.

truth be told, the reason lacey had come over was to pick up her hoodie. it was an innocent visit, but they never ended up that way. not with paige. she was intoxicating.

“i know ma, i got you. here, lay back”

paige tenderly moved the girl from her lap and laid her so her back was on the bed and her head on a pillow so her whole body was on display. paige positioned herself between her legs and threw one over her shoulder, sliding two of her fingers back in sloppily. lacey let out another moan, arching her back off the bed. paige’s name ripped through her throat and fell from her lips like a prayer, though she wasn’t sure what she was praying for.

she had always been the most christian, by the book straight girl you could conjure in your imagination. until she met paige, drunk at her first frat party. she caught the basketball players attention, and the affair began. lacey almost didn’t even remember it the next day. yet then she did, and she couldn’t forget it. she couldn’t forget paige. she could hardly remember her boyfriend at this point.

paige’s fingers fit inside her like lacey was made as a mold for the blonde. she plunged in and out of her messily, but with ease and grace. lacey was gripping the sheets, ministrations and guttural moans spilling from her lips without a second thought. paige just had that effect on her.

“fuck— fuck p, i’m close, you’re so fucking good, baby—“

paige put a hand on her stomach, pressing down with every thrust into her. “yeah? i’m good? you close ma?” every word fueled her confidence, drinking in the praise like an elixir. her thumb came up to press circles onto the brunettes clit, forcing another moan out of her. “shit, yes, fuck yes you’re so good—“ she was cut off by a loud moan as paige used the hand on her stomach to circle under her hips and prop her hips up.

“FUCK, aw shit paige fuck, i’m gonna fucking cum-“

paige leaned over, peppering hot kisses to the thigh of the leg that was thrown over her shoulder and muttering against it, “i got you baby. cum for me ma, make a mess on my hand, you got that.”

it was like that flipped a switch, that was all she needed. her orgasm practically ripped through her body, leaving her limp. paige kept fucking her through it, huskily praising her. when lacey’s breathing became heavy and her leg began to get limp, she slowed her pace and pulled her fingers out. she let the brunettes leg down and pulled her arm out from under her and, after examining her fingers for a moment, looked at the fucked out girl under her. “open your mouth.”

without a second thought, she did. she would do anything paige said, and she didn’t even know why. she shouldn’t even know paige. but here she was, about to suck cum off her fingers.

she took paige’s fingers into her mouth slowly, making eye contact with paige’s ocean blue eyes as she swirled her tongue around the digits and released them with a pop. “aw shit” paige muttered. she reexamined her fingers and, once satisfied, grabbed her shirt from the end of the bed and pulled it over her head. she gave lacey her discarded clothes as well before laying down next to her, beginning to doomscroll on instagram.

they laid like that for a short while, both looking at their respective phones before lacey spoke. “anthony’s probably coming to the game tonight.”

this piqued paige’s interest. she looked at lacey almost curiously, somewhat skeptically, still holding her phone. “your boyfriend anthony?”

“yeah. that one.”

paige didn’t really know what to make of this. she knew lacey had a boyfriend. she didn’t really care. she didn’t ever plan on meeting him, so she wasn’t sure why lacey was bringing him to one of the most defining games in her career.

“you’re bringing him?” she asked, testing the waters.

lacey scrunched up her nose at the sheer thought of 2 and a half hours with her boyfriend. “god, no. he’s going with his frat brothers or whatever.”

this relaxed paige. it wasn’t like they were together, or that she wanted to be, but she didn’t really want to meet the boyfriend of the girl she’s fucking.

but it definitely made her want to put on a show.

tags: @dennyluvsblog @averyisnotpresent

[witchygagirlwrites]

That's my Girl

Jay Halstead x Reader

You've been with Jay since your daughter was a baby and he loves her like she was his own. When your ex winds up back in Chicago and comes looking to play dad Jay isn't backing down.

“Daddy” you heard Vivian giggle as Jay scooped her up, tickling under her arms. “How was your day, baby girl?” She went into telling him about preschool, stumbling over a few words here and there but he listened like it was the most important thing in the world.

Times like this you swore you fell in love with Jay all over again. You weren't sure how he'd handle the fact of you being a single mom the day he asked you out, especially considering at that time she'd barely hit seven months.

He handled it in stride, making some dates to include her and paying your sister to babysit (even though she'd do it for free) so some dates would be just the two of you.

It took you months to trust him enough to open your heart, your ex Paul Victors cheated on you midway through your pregnancy. You had actually come in from the gender scan to find him in bed with another woman, the bed you'd bought.

Everyone at med was there for you, supporting you and keeping him from coming anywhere around you. When Paul had come in one day after you'd come back from maternity leave and wouldn't leave that was how you met Jay, Will called him.

_________________

Jay was everything your Paul wasn't. He was the type of man that could make you feel like everything was going to work out by giving you one of those smiles you adored. He always tried to show kindness where he could, to protect those who needed it. When his anger did flare it up it was never without reason and never pointed at you.

He was patient in the fact that you'd been hurt and that Vivian came first in your life. The first time you slept with him you were fairly certain he'd been more nervous than you.

The way he touched you, kissed you, whispered how beautiful you were…you knew then it wouldn't be long before Jay would own your heart completely.

_________________

The day Jay proposed to you he'd also made a promise to always be there for Vivian. Your wedding was in a few months and Jay was in the process of officially adopting her. Your stomach was in knots over the fact that you had to legally send a notice to Paul's last known address because he had signed the birth certificate.

Jay turned to look at you with a smile, Vivian dangling from his neck “What ya say mommy? Can we get pizza?” You nodded “Of course. If that's what little miss wants” he grinned and turned to sit her on her feet “Ok sweetheart. Go get your jacket” she grinned up at him “Ok daddy” and ran towards her room.

You watched her go then felt him pull you into his arms “You're overthinking Mrs Halstead” you cut your eyes up at him, his blue eyes holding you in place “I just don't want him messing up my life again. I'm happy” a smile slipped onto his face “You're engaged to a detective baby. You have all of the twenty first backing you. He won't come near you or her. The adoption will go through and you both will be Halsteads by the end of the year”

You shook your head “I love you Jay” he pulled you into a kiss, speaking against your lips “I love you too”

You were walking out to your car, talking to Will. He was planning to come over for him and Jay to watch the game that weekend and was asking what food he could bring “Not for you and Jay, for my niece”

You laughed lightly “She has Jay's appetite” both of his eyebrows shot up “God help us” you were almost to your car but stopped in your tracks when you spotted the orange carnation on the windshield.

Will didn't notice the flower but knew something was wrong. “Hey, what is it?” He followed your line of sight and saw the flower “Who's that from?” He asked and you barely got out “Paul”

_____________

When Jay rolled up Hailey barely got the car to a stop before he was out. “Did he come near you? I sent Kev and Kim to pick her up. I'll fucking kill him”

He pulled you into his arms after visibly checking you for injuries. “I'm ok Jay just a little freaked out” he nodded “It's ok. I'll take care of it. I'll get Voight to put a patrol on her school, we'll alert hospital security and we'll keep an eye out for him”

“He's not gonna get near her or you” Hailey assured you with a smile. You nodded, laying your head over on Jay's chest.

You were young when you got pregnant with Vivian and had done a lot of stupid shit. You'd been honest with Jay, of course but what if it was brought up in court?

What if your daughter's life was ruined because of decisions you'd made?

_______________

A few days later you got a call from Jay to meet him and Vivian's school. The patrol car had to stop Paul from entering. He'd ran before Jay got there however.

You stood in the middle of the floor intelligence used at the twenty first precinct holding Vivian in your arms. You knew you were safe here, she was safe but the thought of him trying to take her still had you shaken.

Voight walked up behind you and gently touched your back “Sweetheart, why don't you and her take my office?” You cut your eyes at Jay who nodded so you smiled “Thank you” and walked towards the office, closing the door behind yourself to sit on the leather couch.

____________

“We're finding this asshole right?” Adam asked as soon as the office door was closed and Jay nodded “Oh yeah but whoever finds him first doesn't lay a finger on him. You don't scare my fiance and threaten to take my daughter”

Voight nodded “Kim, stay here with her and Vivian. I've got to talk to a few people. If I'm needed to clean anything up, call me Halstead”

________________

“Paul Victors..drunk and disorderly…resisting arrest..minor possession charges…big jump to attempted kidnapping” Adam spoke as he walked up behind him in the bar they'd tracked him to.

“That's my daughter” he argued and Kevin's hand came to rest of his neck “Let's walk outside my man”

The two of them walked him out between them. Jay and Hailey stood against the wall. The moment he saw Jay he tried to run but Kevin pushed him towards Jay who grabbed him by the collar and slammed him back against the wall.

“You scared the woman I love, you threatened my daughter” Hailey kept an eye on the people around to ensure no one was paying too much attention while Kevin and Adam kept an eye on the bar.

“She's my dau..” Paul didn't get anything else out before Jay's fist hit his stomach “MY daughter” Paul coughed hard “You son of a bitch”

“Did you spit on my partner?” Hailey asked and Jay nodded, wiping his face like Paul had “He did”

Adam tsk tsked “That's assault Paul” and grabbed his cuffs.

Paul was taken to holding while the unit came back up to find you, Kim and Vivian playing a game in Voight's office.

“Hey baby” Jay greeted, pressing a kiss to your lips then kissed Vivian's forehead “Hey baby girl”

You raised an eyebrow at him and he winked at you “C'mon. We gotta meet Voight” “What about her?” You asked, looking at Vivian.

“We got her” Kim assured you so you let Jay pull you to your feet. “Where are we going?” You asked him on the stairs. He whispered “Voight pulled a Voight baby. That's all you need to know”

Voight called in a few favors he was owed. You and Jay ended up meeting with a judge in his chambers. “Jay if you sign here Vivian will officially be your daughter”

You felt his left hand slip around your waist as his right picked up the pen “I love you” he kissed the top of your head then leaned down and signed the paper.

Voight stood to the side, watching. “Congrats Jay” Jay smiled “Thanks Hank”

Hank looked at you “Now you just gotta get the Halstead last name” “What about Paul?” You asked and Jay shrugged “Platt took care of that. He's leaving Chicago. Only way to not face charges”

“I'm free?” You asked and Jay pulled you into his arms “We're free. Let's go get our daughter”

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

Warden: You've never killed an innocent?

Zevran: Now there's an interesting word, "innocent." How many men do you know who can claim to be truly innocent?

Zevran: But if you're talking generalities, such as children and relatives and bystanders and such… never on purpose, but it happens.

Zevran: It's unfortunate, but death comes to us all. If not me, then some wasting disease. Or a fall down the stairs. Or at the hands of a darkspawn. It's all relative in the end.

Zevran: "Death happens," as we like to say. And when I get paid for it, death happens more often.

-

Zevran: In Antiva, being a Crow gets you respect. It gets you wealth. It gets you women… and men, or whatever it is you might fancy.

Zevran: But that does mean doing what is expected of you, always. And it means being expendable. It's a cage, if a gilded cage. Pretty. But confining.

-

Davrin: Lucanis, how do you decide when one of your targets deserves to die?

Lucanis: Usually when the client pays up front.

Davrin: I'm serious. Do you just kill anyone?

Lucanis: No. There has to be merit.

Davrin: "Merit?" Who decides that?

Lucanis: The Talon of the house.

Davrin: And then you just carry out the order?

Lucanis: It's my job.

Davrin: Must be tough to sleep at night.

-

Lucanis: You kill for a living, too, Davrin. How do you sleep at night?

Davrin: Like a baby. The things I hunt are pure evil. Monsters. There are no shades of grey with darkspawn. But you...

Lucanis: Provide a service.

Davrin: What if your target doesn't deserve to die?

Lucanis: Who does? Good, bad, everyone dies eventually. We just speed things up.

-

Emmrich: Do you have any say in your... targets?

Lucanis: You want to know if my victims deserved it.

Emmrich: Forgive me, I shouldn't have asked.

Lucanis: Everyone wonders.

Lucanis: I've never killed an innocent, by my count.

Lucanis: I cannot say if yours would agree.

-

Emmrich: Lucanis, do the implications of your work never trouble you?

Lucanis: Everyone on this team has killed before. I'm hardly unique.

Emmrich: Yes, of course. But in your case, it's a profession, rather than an act of necessity.

Lucanis: I'm not sure the Venatori or the Antaam see the distinction as you do.

-

Emmrich: I find it extremely interesting, Lucanis, that you consider the point of view of your enemies in battle.

Lucanis: I have to. It's much more difficult to find and kill them, otherwise.

Emmrich: Exactly! A utilitarian attitude towards death, and yet you extend empathy to your victims.

Lucanis: Not that much empathy.

Emmrich: Enough to wonder how the Venatori and Antaam view your actions.

Lucanis: Death comes to everyone, in time. I get paid to deliver it. Like a letter not everyone wants to read.

-

I think about this a lot. I'm always... surprised when I see the talk that they're supposedly trying to make Lucanis into the perfect "cinnamon roll" in Veilguard, because his sweet personality doesn't "match" his profession and background. Like, no? That's a very surface level of looking at it, I think.

Zevran is like this, too. He is an incredibly chill guy, and when you romance him, he is also very sweet and vulnerable, despite being an assassin. They're not that different in that department. They were both trained to be assassins since they were children. They're both traumatized in various ways. But neither of them acts like a bloodthirsty, evil freak. But they both also take pride in the job they do (or did), and how well they can do it, and have no intention of stopping. And yet they both express surprising empathy. (Zevran argues against annulling the Circle! Quite extensively!) And they make pretty much the exact same arguments about being killers for hire, as shown above.

Death is a natural part of life. Sometimes it just comes sooner, because we're there to deliver it. There's (almost) no such thing as an innocent person, so my victims aren't innocent people. Therefore, I've never killed an innocent in my entire life, as far as I know. (At least not intentionally.)

And that's interesting and fun about them! It's beautifully deranged. Lucanis completes an assassination mission, slitting somebody's throat or what have you, and then goes on his cosy coffee break, satisfied with a job well done.

The fact that they both say that they've never, in their opinion, assassinated "an innocent", so it's all good, doesn't automatically make it true and doesn't mean it's not complicated, however. Not every line of dialogue can be taken at face value. As video game players, we're rather desensitized to this, but hearing this should normally be at least a little alarming. For a regular person, at least. And it is for the people in the game! Like Emmrich and Davrin. Davrin has several banters with Lucanis about it. Like, who decides when somebody deserves to die and which contract's going to get carried out? Well, the "CEO" of "the company," of course! What could ever go wrong that way? Emmrich tries to coax Lucanis into saying that he does feel something about the whole thing, because he really wants it to be true. While Lucanis is very matter of fact about it. He knows what the Crows are, and that's it. He doesn't glamorize or demonize it.

So, it definitely isn't that "Veilguard says that Lucanis has never done anything wrong ever in his life," just like Origins doesn't do it with Zevran. Both the men's attitude towards killing is warped in an interesting way, completely in line with their background and upbringing. It shows when Lucanis argues with Davrin about them both being killers, because it completely escapes him (or maybe he ignores it for the sake of the argument) how the killing he does (contracts where the targets tend to be people) and the killing Davrin (a monster hunter, a darkspawn slayer) does is of different kind entirely. His logic is flawed at that point. But to him, it boils down to the fact that "it's just a job," and "killing is killing," and "death is death" regardless of form, and that rightfully baffles Davrin to no end. If anything, it shows how the Antivan Crows are taught to hand wave the issue, because the arguments Lucanis and Zevran both present are too similar to be anything else.

Of course, Lucanis, unlike Zevran, as the grandson of the First Talon and her favourite, might have had some extra privileges and wiggle space in comparison, which might have allowed him to bend the rules sometimes, give him space to show more compassion and act more heroically, because people are complex and there are many layers to what each person might consider right and wrong (e.g. killing is okay in various circumstances, and slavers in particular can get fucked - hell, we do it in video games all the time), but still. The fact that his grandmother wanted to tap a new market, so she made Lucanis specialize for hunting mages, which ultimately led to him killing a lot of Venatori and blood mages, makes it cleaner, which is nice, but then again, we hardly know the full extent of all his work. Moreover, when you ask Zevran to tell you stories about his jobs, you don't get much dirt out of him, either. He talks about some of the goofiest ones he's had. One of his targets that he (unsuccessfully) participated in taking out, a royal that got his position through plotting and murder, he also describes as somebody so immoral he basically deserved it. Also very clean. (Compare both these guys with somebody like Blackwall who truly committed a despicable act of murder for money that we do know of. And this single crime sounds so much more upsetting than anything either Lucanis or Zevran describe. None of the things Zevran says is as awful, besides the murder of his lover, which is framed like it wasn't really his fault, because he was misled.)

It's also worth noting that Zevran talks about how he was the best the Crows had before he left and how it brought him respect, wealth, women, men, or "whatever it is you might fancy." All in all, it comes with benefits. By his own admission, he was well off. But of course that came with a catch, as well. The "gilded cage" Zevran talks about. But that's not what made him leave. It was the plotting, backstabbing, and ever present distrust in the end, which led to the biggest mistake he'd ever made. Much like him, Lucanis also mentions that he had a comfortable life before getting captured, in the same quest where he also talks about how he didn't actually have full control of his life. ("Even before I was captured, my life was not really my own. So much had been determined for me.") The gilded cage comes up yet again. And it was plotting and backstabbing that made him lose a year of his life in the underwater prison.

My point is: Lucanis and Zevran are both assassins, because that's what they've always been, they were trained to be assassins since they were kids, they have a very pragmatic approach to death and killing, which they were most likely taught or perhaps were forced to develop, and they both take pride in how good they are at their job, and express no intention of ever stopping. And yet they both show that they have a good heart in various other ways, turn out to be friendly and incredibly loyal, and even very sweet as lovers. Because people can be complex, and so can be fictional characters. Yes, they're very different men, with different problems and personalities, yet also not that different.

You can't think that Lucanis is "too good" without also thinking that Zevran is "too good." You can't have this problem with Veilguard unless you also have it with Origins, is what I'm saying. And I think this may also apply to some of the other Crows we meet in Veilguard.

[thanosscross]

There all along - Choi Su-Bong/thanos x reader part 1/?

Summary: Losing someone who meant alot to you was hard, having to live with it for three years you finally went back to the games to try and get revenge, but a new guard refuses to leave you alone, resulting in you being sent home for the first time in game history.

Warnings: death, you purposely getting people killed, heavy heavy drug use

During the games it was safe to say that you and Thanos got very very close, much to Nam-gyu's disliking. Thanos liked you though, you stubborn, rude, and rough, but whenever you grabbed his hand shaking like a leaf scared, you were so gentle, like you didn't even know how to hurt somebody if you tried. He got the sudden urge to protect you the moment you held onto his jacket for the first time in red light greenlight, it wasn't like you meant to, you went to hide behind him and before you knew it your hands were clenching his jacket.

You didn't mind it though, Thanos was an asshole, but he was always protective over you, only ever spitting off embarrassing raps that he'd come up with on the spot about your looks. As you walked back in from mingle you held onto Su-bong's arm, he just held your hand that held onto him walking towards their little area they claimed, cheering and chanting something about one more game. As Thanos sat down he pulled you down with him, helping you down a step lower to sit in between his legs, using his thighs and hips as a back rest "So, We got one more game, then we're gonna go right?" Nam-Gyu asked, shooting you a harsh glare "I dunno Nam-su, I think we could do two more?" You snapped in a smartass tone purposely getting his name wrong as you looked at your boyfriend smiling "We can play as many as you like, as long as you like, baby" He smirked holding your chin in between his fingers, you melted in his touch, his blue eyes staring into yours like he could see every thought in your brain "It's Nam-gyu, bitch" he snapped, you just rolled your eyes, grunting as Thanos suddenly raised his arms in the air "Stop it!, don't call her that, y/n leave him alone" He stated, shooting you a stern look.

Whenever they all left for the bathroom you laid down, thinking nothing of it, until the piggy bank lowered and started to fill, the loud speaker listing off players that were eliminated. What the fuck happened in there? You started to think before your heart dropped "Player 230 eliminated" Echoed in your brain as the doors opened and everybody started to walk in, your eyes immediately fell on Nam-gyu holding Thanos's pill necklace in his hands that were covered in blood. You jumped up rushing down, Nam-gyu immediately taking notice to the fiery glare in your eyes "What did you do!?" You screamed, swinging your fist, it connecting right where his jaw curved, sending him to the ground "T-The X's just started attacking us!" He shouted being looking up pointing at the guy who Thanos first got into a fight with whenever you first arrived "H-he's the one who did it!" He shouted, not wanting to die at the hands of a grieving psycho, you stood up, freezing as a guard shoved a gun into your back, stopping you from attacking the player "We ask that you all compose yourselves, as the voting process will start tomorrow first thing, please use this time to think over your futures" The guard shouted, you just kept your glare set on player 333, you were going to for sure kill him the first chance you got. As soon as the gaurd left you, you leaned down snatching your boyfriend's necklace from his stupid friend making your way back to the bunks, crawling into his bunk laying down.

Thanos woke up with a gasp, feeling at his throat and jaw, wincing as he felt stitching thread sitting inside of his skin holding it closed "Player 230, you have been eliminated, but we are offering you a chance to still earn money, if you are willing to accept we shall allow you to become part of our staff of guards for the games, if you choose to decline, we will eliminate you from the games" The guard spoke.

Whenever you walked into the address Thanos had left you with, you were greeted by a fluffy dog, a note sitting on the counter of the kitchen

'Su-bong! Congrats on the game show! So glad you're back home, we took care of your baby for you!'

Su-bong, it was a pretty name, you weren't sure why he chose Thanos instead of that, you explored the house further, getting a new sense of who your boyfriend was beyond the games. You would continue on for three years, growing close with Thanos's previous friends and neighbor, as you were lying on the couch one night, you heard soft scratching at your door, slowly walking over and opening it, you spotted a small black and pink envelope, you felt like it was a dream, or like it was some sick joke, as you opened the card you saw the familiar shapes and numbers. You felt sick, but deep down, you had a drive, a drive to revenge Thanos in the only way you knew how to. Hearing the phone trill and the deep voice ask for your name and date of birth, repeating the information back you looked at your baby "Don't worry, your daddy would want me to do this"

Oh were you so wrong, as soon as Su-bong got information back that y/n l/n was becoming a player again, he was fuming, why the hell would you come back? What was your reasoning? God he wanted to kill you for being so stupid.

Waking up in the large room again was startling, you didn't even go to a pick up spot, you literally just fell asleep at home, now you were back? Slowly walking to the center of the room with everybody, you took notice to the different things they had added and taken away, and how quickly they rushed you to the first game. Walking into redlight greenlight you held the cross necklace tightly in your hand, yelping whenever a guard yanked you back behind one of the large green doors that were propped open "What are you doing back, y- Player 243" The guard said, and for a minute, you could swear you knew his voice, but you quickly shook it off. "Just like everybody else, trying to win money" You snapped shoving past the circle guard, not being able to shake him whispering 'still just as rough' like he knew you. After being through the games once before it made the game relatively easy, but slightly boring aswell. You opened the cross locket, new fresh pills sitting neatly inside, you never said you were clean, you had picked up the habit about three days after getting home, emptying out the remainder of his stash within a week. As you set the pill on your tongue locking the necklace back you waited for it to kick in, not ignoring the guard slowly making his way to the other end of the field.

The pill hit you faster than expected, leaving you a smiling mess skipping around the field as people panicked, having the same realization you did the first time you ever played, but you didn't care though, you jumped and skipped towards the end, purposely bumping into people as you went by causing their eliminations. As you leaped across the safety point you cheered, flipping the doll off before a hand grabbed you dragging you off through a doorway hidden within the wallpaper. You looked around, this area was different than the rest, dark blue and purple walls with no doors, just stairs "Are you high right now?" The guard asked, the way his hands grabbed you relaxed you rather than scared you, you couldn't place why though, you tried to break free of his grasp, but he just tightened his hold "l-let go y-you're hurting me" You whispered trying to break free, the walls opened up as the players funneled in to go back to the room, an older man coming over "Excuse me, but I believe she asked you to let her go" He demanded, the guard dropped his hold, you immediately clung to the man holding onto his jacket tightly as you both walked back to the room. You spent dinner time getting to know player 213, who ended up being a younger guy who was fucked over in the same way your late boyfriend was.

When lights out came, you tried to make your way back, but three guards stopped you, rising their guns and escorting you out, your hands shook violently, this was new, maybe they were onto you? You were stopped in a large room, a giant screen showing the field for redlight greenlight "Player 243, you're causing quite the distraction for one of my guards" A man in a black mask and long coat said approaching you "I-I don't even know any guards! He is causing a distraction for me!" You argued, trying to hide your body shaking to the point it could be mistaken as a seizure, you weren't sure if you were going to die or not, you had a puppy had home to care for, you couldn't die. "So we're willing to offer you a deal. go home. Don't come back, and don't try to either" He said, you tilted your head "How does that benefit me in any way?" You asked, attitude lacing your tone with a hint of annoyance "Just take the deal, y/n, it's safer" You heard someone speak from a few feet behind you "Oh my god...you!? What is your fucking deal with me!? Who are you!?" You asked looking at the stupid O mask "You look so stupid just standing there!" You shouted starting to grow angry "Go ahead number 30" You heard the other masked guy say, and you watched as the guard pulled his mask off, the black underhood covering everything that a few strands of hair and bright blue eyes, and for a moment you had to remind yourself, Su-bong was dead.

Watching him pull off the underhood your breath got stuck in your throat, his overgrown purple hair was laying in every different direction, being slightly shorter than him allowed you to see the scar underneath his jaw. "S-Su-b-" You started but he shot you a harsh glare, you felt your hands start to shake, your mind starting to spiral, god damn did you need a high right now, and a damn good one at that. "30" He replied harshly, this was a different Su-bong than you knew, you barely recognized this version. "I thought you died" You whispered, feeling yourself lose your voice "I'll explain later, just take the deal, leave. go. don't come back" He said harshly, taking long strides to stand in front of you staring you down "O-Ok, If you want me to go" You whispered, looking back towards the man in the black mask who just nodded. Su-bong put his mask back on as he walked you out towards a dock inside of a cave somewhere within the building you had played the games in. You stayed silent, occasionally looking at him, studying his face, almost four years of not seeing him, of thinking he had died, and yet he was here. As he walked ahead slightly to scan his mask you took the opportunity to pop another pill into your mouth, ingesting it quickly right as his head turned around to stare at you, somehow even without being able to see his face you could feel his glare on you.

You stepped on the boat watching as Su-bong stood back as another person held a cloth to your face, you didn't fight it off, his words repeating in your head 'Ill explain later' Was he coming back? Waking back up in your actual bed was relieving, but you had a need deepness in your chest, Thanos was still out there..and he left you. You laid in bed for what felt like months, trying desperately to find a way back to the island to find Su-bong while being high out of your mind, until one night. It was maybe three or four am, you were wide awake, music blaring in your headphones while looking at the paperwork you had out in front of you, a rolled joint in one hand, a pill in the other. Popping the pill in your mouth you groaned, none of these papers made sense at all, and you could've sworn you heard the lock to the door try to click three different times in the last minute, thats whenever you did hear it click, you quickly walked over holding the door shut, not wanting whoever was trying to break in, in. "So help me.." You heard a frustrated and exhausted voice mutter before you were knocked off of your feet.

--

part two comin soon, like always lmk what you think lovelies <3

[floweraccidental]

Epic is over. You know what isn't over? My bf's and my own obsession over it. And over Saint Seiya: Knights of the zodiac. We rp a lot. And you know my my genius of a boyfriend did?

"What is we combined the two? Like, the very 1st generation of Saints are Heroes from ancient Greece. And we can put Epic on the same fucking timeline."

And I was like... yeah??? Tell me??

So here's how he planned it out.

Grand pope: Odysseus. The one being the link between Athena and the rest of the saints for obvious reasons.

Aries: Ajax the Great (which is ironic because he didn't find any merit from winning any battles with a goddess' help, and in the and, the goddess in question needs HIS help lol)

Taurus: Theseus. (Considering this is a war against Hades they're planning, Athena is just putting oil on fire as we say in French. Girl, you are not helping.)

Gemini: Castor & Pollux (Do I really need to explain that one?)

Cancer: Achilles (Dude did not ask to be brought back, but his acquaintance with hell was necessary. And after seeing seeing the Capricorn saint, he didn't mind)

Leo: Hercules/Heracles (let me tell you, Achilles is having fun tormenting him a little.)

Libra: Jason (Aeolus sometimes sends his winions at the sanctuary just to know how he's doing)

Virgo: Andromaque ("Remember the infant?" She watched her baby being thrown off a wall and now has to be under the orders of the one who killed her son and colleague with the one who killed her husband. She is filled with seething hatred and is planning revenge.)

Scorpio: Orion (who will train the ones bearing the cloth of his constellations and his dogs' so they don't bring shame to his name. Also Eris took a liking in him for some reason?)

Ophiucus (yeah, he said he probably was a gold saint back then, and not a silver one): Asclepios. (It's gonna cause a lot of problems, but also going to be very helpful.)

Sagittarius: Philoctecte (he doesn't mind helping Odysseus, but his foot is still hurt and he sometimes would've preferred Teucer in his place. He's still taking his role very seriously and rarely lets his guard down.)

Capricorn: Patroclus (Now you know why Achilles doesn't mind being here again. Athena needed someone strong headed, ready to kill on command. Though, once again, it doesn't help that a Myrmidon like him has to fight Aiacos, aka his LITTERAL KING)

Aquarius: Ganymedes (more trauma for the boy! But with Asclepios around, it helps a little and he is more at ease. Andromaque cares more for him than the rest because he still looks and acts younger than all of them.)

Pisces: ADONIS (Pretty boy, I don't know what he's doing here but the point of Pisces saints in saint seiya is that they are the most beautiful and still some of the strongest. Literally a rose with poisonous thorns. So I'll take it)

Bonus ones!

Altar (the one that is to take the Pope's place if he dies): Diomedes (because he was also a part of Athena's favourites and Odysseus really doesn't mind having him around)

Unicorn (one of the closest saints to Athena by devotion): Telemachus (more trauma for this boy as well! And this time, Odysseus is not really okay with it. But Telemachus really wants to and he doesn't want to go against his precious boy's wishes)

That's all for now! I'll keep you all updated if bf comes with new lore. He says "Athena genuinely tried her best when choosing the golds, but she doesn't get why it's messed up because she's a goddess with not all knowledge of how human anger and hatred towards one another really works so..."

[strange-anni]

Swapping places: Will and Mike

Part 1: Will Byers

A curious thing both the Wheelers and the Byers have in common is that in the places where they present their family photos one child is missing. For the Wheelers we see big photos of two little girls. One of which Mike identifies as Holly, the other behind the portrait of Nancy is presumably also Nancy. There is no baby photo of Mike.

Well you might say there is one baby photo in black and white and it could be Mike but that one stands out like a sore thumb. Not only is it black and white like none of the other photos are, it's also notably smaller than them and you can barely make out who this is even supposed to be. It could be Mike but it could also be someone else entirely.

The same can be said about the Byers. There is only one photo of a young boy to be seen who is presumably Jonathan. Will is missing here too.

This for both families makes no sense whatsoever. Why would they not include them? Joyce loves both her children just as the Wheelers love all three of their children. So why won't they display baby photos of Mike and Will?

Then we have the fact that both Joyce and Lonnie seem to be a bit confused as to who their youngest son is. Joyce mentioned once that she doesn't know who raised Will and Lonnie needed a reminder of what Will looks like.

Maybe Will is not the son Joyce raised. Maybe Will is not the son Lonnie remembers.

Maybe Will swapped places with their son.

This is where it starts. This line is probably the most important one in the entire show. On a surface level this is about the D&D game they were playing just shortly before but I do believe it has another meaning as well. After all, the lights begin to flicker or the first time after this line is said.

Will reveals an important truth here. It's the Demogorgeon that got him and it happened 7 years ago.

The Demogorgeon = Deep Father = Lonnie

1983 - 7 = 1976

Lonnie got Will and in turn had to give up his son Mike.

For Mike Wills words hold no meaning here. He doesn't know he received an important message and that's why he looks confused.

For Will though, this is the moment where all hell breaks lose. It's what leads him to get a reminder that he's gonna get killed (via Dustin) and then sees the Demogorgeon for the first time in the woods shortly before he gets transported into the Upside Down in the shed.

As Mike points out here Will could have played it safe. He could have lied in 1983 or he could have kept being the person he was but he didn't. He put himself in danger to help the party. To save his dear friend Mike from suffering a horrible life.

Will prevented Mike from becoming prey but in turn Will became prey himself.

Quarry is another word for prey. Prey for the lion. Lonnie.

In 1983 it was El who saved Mike as he jumped into the quarry, preventing him from jumping to his death. In 1976 it was Will who saved Mike by taking his place and then consequentially endured the suffering Mike was supposed to endure from his father Lonnie.

From then on Mike could live a relatively happy normal life while Will had to through hell.

Read here and here as to why Lonnie is the worst father.

Read here, here and here as to why I believe Will had developed DID because of this. Among others he created Eleven who became his gatekeeper alter and Vecna who became his prosecutor alter.

Many many thanks to @greenfiend and @/kaypeace21 for finding all of this out.

So alters, let's talk about them for a second.

It's Henry or Vecna who is One and Billy who shares the same name as Will who is Two. This would not make much sense unless Will wasn't someone else before he became Will Byers.

Described as a sensitive child who doesn't fit in with the other children, Henry does fit Will in a twisted way but his family does not. Will as we know him has never lived in a big and beautiful fairytale-like home. Lonnie and Joyce also weren't rich. Joyce had to work all day in a supermarket while Lonnie did whatever he did. We don't even know what. This isn't about conforming or presenting themselves as good and normal people to the outside world. The Byers simply never lived a life like the Creels did.

The Wheelers came fairly close though. They have a nice home. Ted earns a lot of money which allows his wife Karen to stay home and take care of the children and household chores. They are conforming and present themselves as good and normal people.

It's like Will injected Henry into the Wheelers family life. Or like he lived it himself and Henry and the Creels are representative of this.

Then there is Billy who is also everything Will is not. Billy is muscular, violent, conventionally good-looking, straight and a ladies man, does sports and embraces a type of masculinity Lonnie absolutely encouraged in Will. He's the perfect son for Lonnie. Everything Lonnie has always wanted in Will, he gets in Billy and yet even all of that doesn't save Billy from the Mind Flayer. Even he can't be perfect enough for the father to escape him.

So to sum this up. We have Henry who is like Will but his family life is not and we have Billy who is not like Will but his family life is.

One and Two

One who still remembers the life from before and Two who has to deal with the life he's living now.

Mike who became Will Will who became Mike

Please enjoy my sh*tty graphic

So Vecna holds the truth of past memories behind the gates. Gates which if not opened by Vecna himself like in S4 via absorbing he suffering of others - like Will did for Mike - should only be opened and closed with the appropriate key.

In Season 2 it's Mike who knows of the computer programming language to access the original Hawkins lab.

In Season 4 Mike had the number for the lab ever since he got it from the agent who died.

Season 3 is special because access to the gate is behind a super tight tripple lock system

Let's look at it a little more closely.

Step 1: You must be send for by Mikhail

This obviously refers to a Michael but the wording makes me think it's actually Will before 1976 or the Mike he has been before. The only way go further is if Will pre 1976 wants you to come to him deep into the core of the base. Or more simply put, it's Will who must be okay with granting access to these buried memories.

Step 2: You must have the correct code

The correct code is Planck's Constant. It's a number only a true nerd knows. Dustin and Erica don't know this number. Murrays code has already been proven wrong and that under normal circumstances leaves us with Mike who can't be reached because his Walkie Talkie got destroyed by the Mind Flayer. So Suzie has to help out.

Step 3: You need two people to operate two keys

Even if you've already made it this far there is supposed to be no way to close or open the gate without there being two people present as the keyholes are too far apart for only one person to operate both keys at the same time.

Yet Joyce, Hopper and Murray manage to go all the way deep into the Russian base to close the gate. That's because they don't want to operate or control it. They want to destroy it instead and make it explode so that no one can ever access the gate ever again. They cheat their way all the way through the system to forever bury the memories that lie deep inside the Upside Down.

They're turning what is supposed to be a Two-Man operation into a Three-Man operation and that's wrong!

Oh the irony! Murray telling the lovebirds that they're almost up to bat when they are the wrong lovebirds who never ever want to reach the bat. And just for good measure he rips out the cables of the power sources 1 (Henry) and 2 (Billy) for the machine.

The lovebirds here are supposed to be Mike and Will who together as a team can either deactivate the machine or open the gate to reach the deepest memories of the bat aka the father aka Lonnie.

And just to hit it home how wrong their approach was and how it was never meant to be three-man-operation but a two-man-operation instead, it's the exact moment when Hopper wants to count to three that he gets attacked by Grigori and ultimately has to fight a battle that leads to his death. Had he stopped at two, this wouldn't have happened.

Had they stopped at Two, none of it wouldn't have happened. (But that's what Season 5 is for as both Mike and Will were not yet ready for any of this in Season 3)

So to sum up the way to correctly use the machine and access the gate with the buried memories:

Will must want it

Mike must have given his permission via a code only he knows

There must be two people to activate or deactivate the machine: Mike AND Will

It's all about consent, understanding each other and a will to look for the truth and face the trauma they both suffered (to different extends) that leads the way to open the gates. Without any of that, it's not possible. Both Mike and Will are needed.

I think it's obvious now how Mike specifically is the key to all of those gates and Wills memories.

My point here in going into so much detail as to how to open the gate in S3 in particular is that that this lock system really makes it super clear that one person is simply not enough. It needs two people which at first glance doesn't make a lot of sense.

This is Wills mindscape and it's about his memories and I get how it's hard to face your demons and how encouragement is needed but in the end you would have to face your own trauma yourself. With the help of friends and family and the people you love for sure but it's still your pain though and no one else can face it for you if you want to overcome it and no longer let it control you.

I can see how Mike could fit into that as the support Will needs and the inspiration and motivation to face his demons. What I can't see is why Mike would be the one able to grant access to Wills past in the first place. Will would not need permission from Mike to face his own past trauma like this. He should be able to do it on his own when he's ready.

Yet he puts so much responsibility on Mike and I think he does it for a reason. It's not only the number Will gave him at the start of the series. "It was seven" he had said and with that gave Mike a coded message of what had happened to him in the past. The only thing Mike needs to do is to decode it which he will for sure but that still doesn't explain why Mike is needed on so many levels to his deepest buried truths. If decoding the message was enough all Mike had to do was talk to Will about it so he can finally open up about his past to a trusted friend. That's part of it for sure but it's not everything either.

I think the reason why there is so much emphasis on Mike and the things only he should know is that whatever is past the gates affects him just as much as Will. So for Will to be ready to open up, he needs Mikes permission as well because he needs Mike to be willing to accept and deal with whatever truth is behind the gates. A truth he may not like.

Like the possibility that he and Will at one point in their life after they've first met in 1976 have swapped places. That it was was Mike who almost fell prey to Lonnie the lion and it was Will who saved him from that by taking his place.

But there is also a flipside to this: If Mike is the key to Wills memories and his past, Will must also be thee key to Mikes hidden past.

So what about Mike?

Read Part 2: Mike Wheeler here

Last but not least I also want to thank @threemanoperation who greatly inspired me with this post in particular.

[sunflower1experiment]

Another mouthwashing analysis

I feel like people forget that Jimmy’s character is important because it forces us to see his crimes and while it is uncomfortable and feels unnecessary.

That is the whole point of the game, what he did was unnecessary and it proves how unreliable he is and how realistic the story is. We have people like him in real life that cause these types of problems, hurt others like he did to Anya and Curly because in his pov he views them as useless or someone to clean up his mess whether he indirectly or directly caused it.

What he did to Anya, he blamed Curly, he’s blaming Curly for his crime against her. When Anya can’t handle feeding Curly the pills, she gets nauseous and upset. And there is a symbolic point in two ways, Jimmy getting angry at her for not handling/cleaning up HIS INDIRECT MESS and the fact that he expects her to act normally after Sa’ing her. Because he doesn’t see the problem, only when she asks for help or gets worried about the baby causing him problems so he runs away from the baby and belittles/ antagonizes her as if that was her fault he crashed it.

Now here’s the symbolism, Anya and Curly symbolizing each other because they both had to fawn and or ended up with flight/freeze. Because of Jimmy, Curly is not perfect or a good person and what happened to him isn’t karma.

The only karma he gets is being forced to watch Jimmy cause all of this chaos and then watching Jimmy crawl back to him and practically cannibalize Curly just because Curly isn’t here to clean up his mess.

Anya is young, so is Daisuke, they were both failed we got that bit but we also forget the part that Curly sort of symbolizes what it would be like for Anya if she had the baby with her abuser still roaming around.

Which causes her to get more depressed, his whole plan was to literally kill her and then he lies saying Curly crashed but we all know thats not true which where the irony comes in and my personal theory. Anya and Swansea probably knew especially when Anya told Swansea, and Swansea told Anya his plan.

Anya basically is giving up meanwhile Swansea was too busy getting drunk to take action when it was needed.

Now we all know this dance and repeated it many times but as a fandom we have to understand that Jimmy shows the worst in everyone as Anya said “Our worst moments don’t make us monsters” Jimmy was in his worst moment and he was portraying everyone in their worst moments meanwhile he was the monster of it all.

And he tries to repeat this quote but Polle (aka Anya) stops him. Because if that were true why did he SA her? Why did he think that he had nothing to lose? Why did he ruin Anya and Curly’s potential relationship/friendship just for a power stroke?

Because he saw Anya as an object and sees Curly as an airhead “Good Captain” whom Jimmy knows well because he was able to analyze Curly’s psych evaluation meanwhile Curly was barely able to analyze Jimmy.

They were never friends, Jimmy took advantage of Curly’s kindness and deems him this airhead, heart on the sleeve Captain. But he forgets that being a Captain comes all the stress.

Which cracks me up when he gets angry at having to do four tasks. This should’ve told everyone how useless he is, he didn’t even do anything for the past 2 months and made sure to blank that out until Anya asked for help, they saw the mouthwash and he was expecting everything to be normal.

No Jimmy, Anya is human, Swansea is human and Daisuke is human. You ruined a future doctor’s life, took a father/husband from his family and ruined a young man’s life. Because you couldn’t take responsibility.

He doesn’t even take responsibility for practically making everyone out to be people that they’re not. As he said and I quote “Pain is what makes one know you’re living.”

……..Anyone who hates him, I do not blame you, folks who like him, I still don’t blame you or anyone.

As long as folks aren’t toxic and bashing others about it, I don’t care.

We just gotta understand that when it comes to each pilot’s perspective. Jimmy’s is super unreliable meanwhile Curly’s is somewhat but he also fails terribly at being Captain. He keeps trying to be friend and Captain at the same time which is impossible unless you know how to juggle the responsibility of one of the crewmates acting out to challenge your authority.

Which is what Jimmy did twice….

And let’s also not forget that he was super selfish the whole time and when it came to judgement day. Him putting Curly in the cryopod and taking the cowardly way out, still selfish and doesn’t make him a hero. Instead it sorta makes him worse, he has all the potential to change as it shows in Swansea’s speech but doesn’t. Because he believes everything he is doing, is right.

Thats all I just wanted to rant because I always think about how he says “I’ll take care of it” he says it to Curly and practically ruins everyone’s life then says it to Anya twice and them proceeds to abuse Curly.

Then when Anya gets the chance to have her own authority, it’s to end it all. Which sucks for her because that’s how depressed she was and how stressful it was and Jimmy once again tries to make it seem like she breaks down all the time. When for 2-4 months she’s been handling Curly’s pills.

Meanwhile he broke down at having to do 5 tasks….which is actually crazy. The tasks sorta represent the months, just saying. He never did a single thing for those past months besides correct folks and talk about how he’s Captain now.

Okay Jimmy, and you can’t even be Captain. Under qualified as a pilot and under qualified as a Captain.

[thefiercest]

EPIC: The Musical

I have so many thoughts right now! I can't believe how good this was! I remember when we read the story of Odysseus in High School and I was so bored, just sitting there, listening to the teacher and my classmates read but listening it in music form, hearing all the emotions and events that Odysseus went through made me want to re-read the book!

My teacher was so not on Odysseus side when we read it and I was always like, why?!

Ok, it was stupid of him to reveal his name to the cyclops, knowing that it would get him in trouble. I mean, that's why you told him your name was "Nobody" because you knew if you did, he would tell the gods and you would be in trouble! That was beyond stupid.

But everything else, I say Odysseus did the best he could with what he was given and every asshole he killed deserved it. (Maybe not the baby but hey, Zeus made him do that. I blame Zeus for that more than Odysseus. I mean, seriously dude, you're a god, you couldn't help Odysseus find another way? You had to convince him that killing the baby was the only way to ensure his wife's and son's safety?)

I do not blame Odysseus for turning cold after all the shit they put him through! All he wanted was to go home to his wife and son, and every time he tried, something just had to always get in his way, making getting home nearly impossible! He grew desperate and decided to take the risk, going through the lair of Scylla and it would have all worked out fine if Eurylochus didn't open the bag!!!

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!!!

What kind of idiot, would open a bag that can save all your lives by simply opening it, completely wasting it and then not tell your captain soon after you did it! You can not tell me, had Odysseus known sooner, he would have tried to find another way but they were already in the cave, and he was so desperate to get home, especially after what the profit told him that there was no turning back!

Odysseus took the risk because he thought he could save everyone soon afterwards but Eurylochus screwed it all up and then he had the nerve, to blame Odysseus?! Are you kidding?! Then his whole crew turned against him!

I know Odysseus didn't tell them about Scylla's cave but he probably did that because he didn't want to scare them! Even with the bag, dying is scary, doesn't matter if you have an extra life.

Then after that whole mess, they go to the sun god's island and there, they decide to kill the sun god's cow. Odysseus tried to warn them, he said don't but Eurylochus dumb ass kept saying, "They were hungry, they were never going to make him home, they were gonna die"

You are going to die either way! So, why would you kill the cow, just why?! What was the point?! To have full stomachs before you die?!

I just could not believe how stupid Eurylochus was. If he hadn't opened the bag, if he had just listened to Odysseus when he tried to warn them then they probably all would have made it home but, nope!

And of course, he is going to choose his wife and son, over his crew! He was told his family was possibly in danger and he had to get there! It's hard and he pleaded to Zeus to spare them, even though it was their own fault but your family always comes first. Always.

I'm sorry but Eurylochus and the others killed themselves. Odysseus is not at fault at all. Why should he have to die for the choices those idiots made?!

And the ending, was so perfect! I so loved when Odysseus killed all those sick bastards! And him reuniting with his son was beautiful as well as his mini talk with Athena but the thing I loved most was Odysseus and Penelope's relationship. Like, I have never known such a loyal couple.

For 20 years, 20, they have been apart but Penelope always remained loyal. She never believed her husband to be dead and she kept refusing to choose another suitor, stalling for as long as she could until Odysseus returned.

Odysseus returned that same loyalty and love, by refusing both Circe and Calypso, saying that his only true love was Penelope and he would stop at nothing to return to her.

It is just so, so amazing. This whole thing, Odysseus story, his trauma, his reunion with his son, Athena, his relationship with Penelope, everything!

This is 100% better than Alexander Hamilton! Dude, cheated on his wife and got his son killed! Odysseus is husband and father of the year, I wish there were more like him in this world!

Anyway, I just wanted to get that out of my system. If there is a next Epic Musical, I'm all in!

Jorge, love your work, you did excellent!

[stackslip]

like i'm all about critiquing the execution of 03's ending and how sloppy cos is as an actual conclusion bc there's stuff that can be excused (the rushed production and cancelled final season and how little time/money they had and how much stress they were under) and stuff that can't (i love terminarcher objectively but it is deeply silly; winry's arc should have been concluded; imo it could have been executed better as much as i love the themes and ever since i learned of the original plan to finish the show in liore again i have been dying about it; cos is frankly a disaster on the amestrian side and nothing about the way it treats roy and riza makes sense except that the military are fan favourites who HAD to be in the big budget shounen movie)

but you cannot, for the love of everything holy, tell me with a straight face that manga/brotherhood's ending is better, nevermind perfect. like is it all tied up neatly. yes it is and herein lies the issue, again, bc it's so desperate to be a good happy ever after for everyone that it chooses to ignores the most vile implications of many characters' fates and plot threads' endings just so the Designated Good Guys can get domestic married and roy can be a benevolent military dictator. i've even seen people say that bh's ending inherently values winry more because she gets married to ed and settles and has babies with him. and yknow for how fucking messy the ending of 03 is, and how much of a weird mixed bag of a follow-up cos is too, for how out of context it SOUNDS weird but really if you've actually been following the plot and themes it fits perfectly, the ending to 03 is actually thematically coherent with its themes from the very beginning and drives home all its most salient points as hard as it can.

like sure the ending to brotherhood is much simpler and effective but you think about it for more than like five minutes and want to throw up. roy uses the souls of ishbalans to heal his eyes and becomes the fucking führer. ed and al have done nothing wrong ever. all the evil of the amestrian military comes from this Big Alien Bad Guy who Just Felt Powerless and when he's gone amestris is now a benevolent society that just happens to use ishbal as a frontier colony. scar wails and sobs about how evil he was for killing the people who actively participated in the genocide of his people while being scowled by an amestrian soldier. winry gets a domestic het ending. ling is gonna be cool emperor now and i guess mei can just deal with it. did any of the women ever really matter bc i keep being told brotherhood is a feminist masterpiece but what do any of them do besides return to the status quo with their boyfriend/husband/master or get domesticated and then olivier keeps being a fascist girlboss i guess. yay happy ending and don't you dare think about it deep it's not THAT deep, says the same crowd that calls og fma an anti imperialist masterpiece and a perfect series

meanwhile no matter how much 03 stumbles it legitimately feels like it's taking a look at all of these contradictions within the manga and slowly strangles them to death while looking you dead in the eye. THERE IS NO WAR THAT DOES NOT CONCERN US, ALCHEMY AND YOUR VISION OF PROGRESS ARE BASED ON MASS DEATH AND ATROCITIES, YOU CANT SAVE THE WORLD SINGLE HANDEDLY BUT THAT IS NO EXCUSE FOR NOT FACING THAT WORLD FOR WHAT IT IS AND STILL CHOOSING TO TRY TO MAKE IT A LITTLE BETTER. and then i have to hear all about how grimdark and supposedly lacking in hope it is when it literally ends on the realization that you cannot separate yourself from the world or ignore its issues you have a duty to it and it is bigger than your dreams or selfishness. anyhow

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

[pumpkinrootbeer]

people hate s11 lip but like.

I get it.

[apathyfairy]

me at 13: by the time im 30 i will probably be married and maybe have a kid but for sure i will be living in my dream city and have my dream job. and also a lot of money

me at almost 30: i think i will treat myself to a corn dog this weekend

[sk3l3t0n444]

this is fine im not hyperfixating on fnaf...and its totally not turning into a special interest...anyways everybodys opinion on the timeline of fnaf is dumb and im the only right one/hj

[blueiight]

Coming slowly to know his evil, or being catapulted into it ... was all the same. I wanted none of it finally. And, deserving nothing better, I closed up like a spider in the flame of a match. And even Armand who was my constant companion, and my only companion, existed at a great distance from me, beyond that veil which separated me from all living things, a veil which was a form of shroud. (IWTV, 1976)

[ectoplasmer]

in the middle of reading the new wind excerpt and god. oh my god. someone sedate me

[kajillionaires]

if you guys ever wonder what it’s like having a fourteen year old sister, just imagine someone burning you alive and also stabbing you, and then mufasa trampling you and then reviving you to give you a cookie and then literally shooting you in the head and then you will literally know what it’s like!!!!!!